#slow down your aging process
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We Humans aren't designed to live forever, but we can live longer than we do!
Most âanti-agingâ supplements that many popular websites and books recommend do NOT slow down your aging process, they mostly benefit your health as you get older, and you are still ageing at the same rate you always have.
These are substances like vitamin A, vitamin E, coenzyme Q10, lipoic acid, B-vitamins, calcium, omega-3 fatty acids, zinc, multivitamins, curcumin, EGCG, nicotinamide riboside (NR), mushroom extracts and many more are great supplements but they won't slow down your aging!
This means many touted âanti-agingâ supplements are nothing more than antioxidants, which do improve your health as you age, like vitamin A, vitamin E, coenzyme Q10, lipoic acid and so on. But they donât slow down aging. Some antioxidants can even accelerate aging, like lipoic acid or vitamin A and vitamin E.
Ya see,... We human beings aren't supposed to live forever so we have an aging process which triggers (kicks in) at a certain age, and it's downhill from there on. We have a built in fail point, just like automobiles do, so they can keep selling us cars forever.
Ya wanna know what does slow down your ageing process, and they SLOW DOWN not stop it..........
1. "Fisetin", a natural ingredient found in vegetables and fruits, especially in strawberries. Fisetin is mostly known for its senolytic activity, meaning it can clear away senescent cells, ..... zombie cells literally that have done their job biologically but reuse to die off, and are still hanging around sponging off of other healthy cells, like many of our political leaders do.
2. Alpha-ketoglutarate (the calcium form)
Alpha-ketoglutarate (AKG) is a substance that naturally occurs in our bodies. When we get older, the levels of AKG decline. Most studies show in mice that they live 14% longer than mice that didn't take Alpha-ketoglutarate (AKG).
3. Microdosed lithium
Lithium is a mineral found in nature. It seeps from rocks into water, including drinking water, like natural spring water.
Various studies show the more amount of lithium in the drinking water the longer people have been living in that area, and had less neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimerâs.
So the further you are from the city the better off health wise you are.
Can you see the stars at night,...... if not your still to close to the city!
4. Glycine
Glycine is an amino acid that occurs naturally in our body. When we age, glycine levels decline.
Glycine has many functions in the body. It improves the epigenome (the machinery that determines which genes are switched on or off, a process that goes increasingly awry when we get older). Glycine especially improves the epigenome of mitochondria, the power plants of our cells.
5. Pterostilbene
Pterostilbene is the better brother of the famous anti-aging substance resveratrol.
Resveratrol has long been hyped as a longevity substance. However, it unfortunately did not live up to that hype. Studies showed disappointing results when it came to resveratrol extending lifespan.
6. Malate or malic acid
Malate, also called malic acid, is found in apples, and in our own bodies.
Malate is an important substance in the mitochondria. In fact, malate is a component of the Krebs cycle, which consists of various substances that are chemically modified to provide the energy that keeps all cells going.
7. Magnesium
Magnesium is an indispensable mineral for the body to function properly.
Magnesium helps innumerable enzymes in our body to function properly. Cells shuttle magnesium in and out to propagate nerve signals and to generate muscle impulses, including the beatings of our heart.
Magnesium also sticks to our DNA, stabilizing our DNA, protecting it against damage. Increasing DNA damage is one of the reasons why we get older.
8. Glucosamine (the sulfate form)
Most people know glucosamine as a substance to reduce wear and tear of cartilage and to improve joint health.
Few people know that glucosamine can also extend lifespan in different organisms, including mice.
Studies show that glucosamine is one of the few supplements associated with reduced mortality in humans, and also reduced risk of cardiovascular disease in humans.
9. Hyaluronic acid
Hyaluronic acid is an important component of the skin. But hyaluronic acid (HA) surrounds and embeds many other cells in the body than just the skin cells.
The older we get, the less hyaluronic acid there is in the body. A 70-year-old has only about 19 percent of the amount of hyaluronic acid of a young person.
Studies show that hyaluronic acid, taken orally, can improve skin appearance by reducing wrinkles, improving moisturization of the skin and increasing skin radiance. It can also improve osteoarthritis, which makes sense given joints and cartilage contain a lot of hyaluronic acid.
10. Ginger
Ginger is a well-known spice. But itâs not just any spice, it's THE SPICE for longevity.
Many scientific studies demonstrated multiple beneficial health effects of ginger, like reducing inflammation and protecting cells against damage.
Ginger has been found to extend lifespan in simple organisms, like fruit flies.
Ginger can improve type 2 diabetes and inflammation in humans.
11. Rhodiola rosea
Rhodiola rosea is a very interesting plant that grows in the northern regions of Europa and Asia.
Rhodiola rosea has been used for centuries as an adaptogen, a substance that can improve resilience against both physiological stress and mental stress.
Rhodiola can also improve nerve regeneration.
Studies in humans show that Rhodiola rosea can improve memory, concentration and can reduce fatigue.
12. L-theanine
Theanine is a substance found in green tea, and is one of the reasons why green tea is healthy.
Theanine has been shown to extend lifespan in simple organisms.
Theanine has been associated with healthier blood vessels, and could reduce blood pressure and even obesity.
Theanine has shown to reduce neurodegeneration and protect neurons in the body.
13. Nicotinamide mononucleotide (NMN)
Nicotinamide mononucleotide (NMN) is needed to make NAD+.
NAD+ is a very important substance in the cells. It provides energy for cells and is also a cofactor for proteins that repair and maintain our epigenome and our DNA.
NMN improves metabolism and reduces inflammation.
In conclusion I can say I've studied anti-aging for decades and many anti-aging supplements are based on outdated insights and donât have any or just very little science backing up their claims.
Also, they do not contain substances that have been shown to act on aging mechanisms.
I personally have been taking 5 of these 13 supplements for a decade, so I should outlive your grandchildren, Lol
I would say if you just took one of these 13 it should be L-Glycine, because Glycine is like the switch that turns on the light in the room, and if the switch doesn't work nothing else gets what it need to illuminate you.
Ginger being a close second to take, which both are fairly cheap in cost to get pharmaceutical grade supplements, and remember only pharmaceutical grade supplements are worth a damn, because Choosing a pharmaceutical-grade supplement is the only way to know for sure that you're giving your body the highest, purest, and most bioavailable form of an ingredient possible, so if it doesn't say "pharmaceutical-grade" on the label, it isn't!!
As Spock from Star Trek would say "Live Long And Prosper", and you do that by knowing how!
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#Longevity#wellbeing#healthyliving#wellness#health#healthylifestyle#anti aging#pharmaceutical grade only#slow down your aging process
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ughhhh there is something so special to me about death and life in tolkienâs worksâŠ.. as a woman i canât help but think about how, in a world so hellbent on preserving youth at all costs and slowing the aging process as much as possible, thereâs something really special to me about how natural and beautiful death is in that world. in it, both the prolonging of an individualâs lifespan past what it should naturally be is a bad omen, and a whole society was said to decline when they sought to live longer and never die. i also just think it is so wonderful that tolkien could survive one of the most gruesome and horrific wars of recent memory, having seen so many peopleâclose friends and strangers alikeâdie senseless, pointless deaths, and still emphasize in his tales that death, at its core, is still a beautiful chapter of oneâs story. elves, who are invulnerable to many things men are not whatsoever, can die from grief of loved onesâand in this way they are weaker than men, who are simply meant to see death and eventually greet it. the elves envy men for the way their souls can leave this earth! arwenâs choice is fearsome but brave and noble and true! and in turn, aging is also a wonderful thing; itâs beautiful to take on your years and experiences in your grey hairs and your wrinkles and your slowness. it is not at all lost on me that a man who saw so many die before the age of 30 would relish life, and especially old age. thereâs not necessarily any commentary in this ramble, i just think we all should take a page out of tolkienâs book. no pun intended. thanks if you read this, i wrote it up in 5 minutes and did not look over it whatsoever before posting :)
#i just love this theme a lot. itâs very special to me#i love stories about legolas spending time among his aging mortal friends. i love seeing him find beauty in that process!#when it would be so easy to write your immortal being as someone who looks down upon mortals for the way their bodies slow and fade!#this is what period day 2 does to a bitch#tolkien#lord of the rings#the hobbit#jrr tolkien#arwen undomiel#bilbo baggins#legolas greenleaf#aragorn#gimli son of gloin#<- pretty much the relevant people in this post#oh also#numenor#numenorians
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birds of a feather . Û« êŁà§ .
{olympic figure skater!satoru gojo x olympic figure skater f!reader}
summary: you and satoru have known each other since childhood, two little birds navigating through life together as you shared one dream in commonâ to win gold at the olympics, you both a figure skating pair as you moved and performed and fell in love as the years went by, both balancing off a trembling tight rope and holding on to keep each other in place, a silent agreement that if you indulged and fell into the depths of the truth of what you were, youâd run the risk of losing your careers and each other, yours and satoruâs biggest fears. but youâre growing, and itâs getting harder to hold back⊠especially for satoruâ that trembling tight rope on the verge of snapping in two.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, childhood best friends to lovers trope, cursing, DIABOLICAL ANGST BUT WITH HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!, mentions of death and loss, mentions of injury and blood, FLUUUFFF, satoru loves loves loves you, SMUUUTT, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it yâall), creampie, pussy eating, dom satoru, pussy drunk satoru, DIRTY TALK, pet names, figure skating, the olympics, true love <3
word count: 22.3k (I KNOW PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEASEâ)
authors note: YYYOOOUUU GUUUYYSSS THIS ONE IS MY BABBBYYY AND IM CRYING NOW WRITING THIS LMFAOAOAO. i hope you all love it seriously i GLADLY worked day and night writing this and iâd do it all over again just to see yâall happy :) THANK YOU for your support it is UNREAL, and like always, I LOOVEEE YOUUU MWAAHHH <333
you first met satoru when you were six at the skating rink.
he was only a year older than you, both of your mothers coincidentally signing you up for the same youth ice skating lessons for beginners, meeting and chatting it up seeing as you and satoru were the youngest in age out of the rest of the parents there and their children, you both automatically put together by your coach and separated from the older kids to do warm ups.
and even though the age difference was only a year, satoru at first treated you like a little helpless tiny thing who needed assistance in everythingâ the cute pink ribbons in your hair doing you an injustice and further implementing the image of a little girl who had no clue of what was going on around her, thinking you were cutesy and he was determined to be your little knight in shining armor when the time came.
until he saw you skate.
what satoru didnât know, was that you were a prodigyâ related to one of the most famous ice skaters in olympic ice skating history, akira, as her talent was blessedly passed down to you through your fruitful system and the lucky processes of geneticsâ chosen as you barely even had to be taught, you catching everything right away by the coach without any sort of slip and fall⊠unlike satoru who was clumsily struggling to even glide through the ice without wobbling.
and little satoru was astonished by you and your talent, his first impression of you drastically changing by the end of the first lesson as he shakily slid across the ice over to where you were, patiently doing little turns on the ice while you waited for your mother to finish up talking to another lady (it was satoruâs mother).
âhi!â he had greeted you, a huge goofy smile on his face as you slowed down and looked at him, returning a shy smile of your own.
âhi.â
âiâm satoru!â he extended a hand, eyes shooting wide as he suddenly lost his balance and slipped forward, on the brink of face planting on the ice as his hands quickly flailed out and gripped the edge of the rink to save himself.
you giggled, tiny hands reaching and holding his arm steady as he tried to regain his balance.
âare you okay?â your shy voice asked, and he grinned through his wobbling.
âyeah! iâm okay! donât worry!â
but he still couldnât stabilize himself.
âmaybe we should sit on the bench?â you suggested sweetly. âso you donât fallâŠâ
âokay!â
you gripped him as hard as you could (which really wasnât a lot for a six year old) and slowly moved with him on the ice, supporting him until you were both out of the rink and seated on the bleachers.
âwhatâs your name?â he chirped, his hands clutching on the edge of the bench as he leaned forward and looked at you kindly, legs swinging.
âyây/n.â
ânice!â he cheesed, looking at you. âi saw you skate. youâre really good!â
âtâthank you.â you mumbled, shy and alarmed that a boy was talking to you.
âwhen did you start skating?â
you looked at him confusedly. âum.. today?â
his eyes bulged.
âhah?! today?!â
you jumped at his outburst, cheeks pink as you quickly nodded.
âwowww!âŠâ he gushed with stars in his eyes. âthatâs great! i saw you doing turns and things. i can barely move on the ice⊠itâs slippery.â
âwellââ you peeked up at him shyly. âmyâmy aunt taught me some stuff⊠but not a lot.â
âyou have someone in your family that skates?â he asked excitedly with huge blue eyes. âhow cool! hopefully i can catch up to you and at least moveâŠâ
âthatâs okay...â you smiled. âi know you will.â
âreally?!â he gushed again before leaning back, nodding his head cutely. âif you think so, then i know so!â
and you giggled at him, your timid wall slowly crumbling down at his bubbly and kind personality as he was a chatterbox and talked to you about anything that had to do with olympic ice skatingâ him knowing so much about it and nearly screaming his head off and panicking when he found out that your aunt was none other than akira, now knowing exactly why you were so good at skating in the first place.
satoru looked up to you. so much so that it was comicalâ seeking your approval over the following years during lessons and not even listening to the damn coach himself as he listened more to you, wanting you to teach him how to do bunny hops or backward crossovers and giving a big fat attitude to anyone else who tried to coach him, whining and snoring away until you and your little bows skated over to him to teach him.
and because of that you spent a lot of time with satoru in and out of lessons, even more than you ever spent with your own friends at school as you clung to him at all timesâ him cheering and encouraging you on when you were shy in certain situations, and you teaching him everything you could about skating and bringing him little bags of strawberry gummy puffs since he had the biggest sweet tooth you had ever seen, you both cemented and stubbornly attached to the hip with neither wanting to let go.
and when your motherâs planned a little playdate at the local outdoor ice skating rink on a chilly december dayâ an enormous christmas tree sitting tall and glorious by the rink with twinkling star-shaped fairy lights and jingle bells surrounding the plaza, you and satoru spinning each other around and dancing and giggling over the murmur of classic christmas songs, they saw the potential⊠an idea sparking in their heads amongst their cooing and picture taking.
you and satoru were both originally put into the ice skating world to train and be independent professional skaters, olympic athletes to be more specific when the time came.
but that concept quickly changed the second you met.
nowâ you and satoru were an olympic ice skating pair, the subject materializing when your motherâs pulled you out from those simple ice skating lessons (you both already way past getting the basics down since your skill combined with you teaching satoru had you both surpassing the class) and paying for a professional couples figure skating coach to get you guys started now and early.
and the both of you were over the moon, especially satoru, as he absolutely adored you and begged his mother literally every fucking day if he could go over to your house or over to the ice skating rink with you to dance, you doing the same and the two of you crying and wailing on the floor whenever times wouldnât work out and plans fell through, your motherâs having to give in and drag you to each otherâs houses so you would both stop crying.
when akira found out you were officially figure skating, she nearly drove into the side of a building speeding over to your house from being out of the country for so long competing.
âis it true?!â she burst through the doors, your mother rolling her eyes after being startled half to death over her bizarre behavior. âis my little niece gonna be a figure skater like me?!â
you gasped excitedly upon seeing her, getting up from your spot on the rug and running over to akiraâs open arms, leaving your coloring book and crayons behind as she swung you around.
âshe started when she was six you know thatâŠâ your mother grumbled, folding various kitchen towels.
âbut you just told me now that sheâs not independent!â akira countered, setting you down and holding you out at arms length, eyes wide and eager. ââbut partner figure skating! like me!â
she shook you. âwhere is he?! your partner! is he here? is he your age? is he nice?â
you perked up and looked over to the kitchen. âoh mommy! satoru should come and meetââ
âhis name is satoru? oh my goodness how cuteeee!â she cooed, pinching your cheeks. âis he handsome? do you like him? do you have a crush on himââ
your little cheeks blazed as your mother threw a kitchen towel at her.
âsheâs eight aki! jesus christ.â
âlove has no limits.â akira wiggled a finger, and you giggled.
your mother called satoruâs place soon after, his mother excitedly conversing over the other line about how the akira was finally back in town and how satoru was gonna lose his mind once he saw herâ you knowing he was the biggest fan and sometimes told you facts during lessons that you didnât even know about your own aunt.
and when they finally did arrive, satoru was stiffâ frozen in place with tight arms at his sides by the living room as his alarmed big blue eyes looked at akira with a sickly pale face, you snickering behind him.
âhi satoru!â akira greeted, leaning down with her hands on her knees to look at him at eye level. âitâs nice to meet you! y/n tells me you like my skating?â
âuâuhuh.â he responded dumbly, and you slapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing, knowing satoru would cry and whine about it later if he heard you.
âthatâs great! iâm happy you skate too⊠and with my niece i should say!â she spoke kindly, ruffling his snowy colored hair up and standing upright, placing her hands on her hips and looking like a straight freaking superhero in satoruâs eyes. âyou wanna compete in the olympics?â
âuh huh.â
a laughing breath hurled from your throat and your cheeks puffed up like a squirrel, clasped hands still over your mouth and face going red from how hard you were trying to keep it in.
âthatâs what i like to hear.â she smiled, a shiny impressive one as satoru still stood there in a stuck daze.
âwork hard okay? the both of you. so you can catch up to me someday, yeah?â
your hands slowly fell from your mouth then, eyes filled with admiration and determination as you both eagerly nodded, looking at each other hopefully.
âyou thinkââ satoru stammered, looking at akira. âyou think we can⊠win three gold medals like you?â
âoh absolutely!â she shrugged. âi donât doubt it at all.â
you and satoru gushed, glittering little eyes as you stared up cutely at akira, her giving you both a silly grin.
âhow long have they been doing partner work?â she asked your mother suddenly, watching the way you and satoru chattered then excitedly about the actual possibility of competing for the olympics someday.
âmmm, i wanna say for about a year and a half? maybe two?â she looked over at satoruâs mother, who nodded in agreement. âtheyâre with a coupleâs figure skating coach right now.â
akira hummed and shifted her gaze back down between the two of you.
âiâm training them from now on.â
both mothers froze, eyes wide as they stared at her.
you and satoru hadnât even realized what she said, still caught up in your little bubble of the olympics and metals and competitions until your mother caught your attention.
âdid you hear?â
you shook your head. âhear what!â
âakira wants to coach you and satoru.â
his jaw dropped and he nearly passed out on the floor, you quickly grabbing his shoulders as he reeled over.
âareâ are you sure?â your mother continued, looking at her sister now. âarenât you busy? i thought you were only here for the weekend.â
she waved her off. âi need a break from skating for a little⊠at least until the next olympics.â
akira turned to you then and smiled warmly. âand i wanna coach my little niece and her new buddy! if thatâs okay?â
âyesyesyesyes!ââ
both you and satoru bounced up and down and cheered, arms up as you tackled and hung off of akira like a jungle gym, her laughing and smiling big at your enthusiasm.
akira was the most important figure in your life, right next to satoru as she became a mother figure to the both of you as well as your mentor.
and training with her was not easyâ your age not an excuse at all whatsoever in her eyes to not learn proper figure skating moves and technique, saying it would only serve you right in the end if you started adapting your bodies to it now rather than later.
and like most things, akira was right. but even though practices were grueling and tough to the point where you had to drag satoru across the ice to get up, she always tried to make them fun in the endâ cracking jokes and teaching you guys silly little tricks that you could do with each other on the ice that she figured out over her years of skating with her partner, taking you both out for ice cream frequently after and telling you of her travels competing around the world, the people sheâd met, and the titles sheâd wonâ all things that were you and satoruâs ultimate dream as you listened eagerly.
by the time you were twelve and satoru was thirteen, it was obvious you guys were meant to be olympic athletes together.
âyou need to pick your leg a little further up on the spin, toru.â
he stuck his tongue out. âsays who.â
âsays me.â you poked his cheek. âand iâm pretty sure aki told you before she left too.â
âyes maâam!â he nodded, gliding a bit further away from you on the ice before picking his momentum up and reaching you, him bending his knees and wrapping his arms around your torso as you both went into fast spins, one leg extended for the both of you as your arms gripped over his shouldersâ practicing the routine akira had given you for your upcoming competition.
âyeah like that!â you smiled, spins gradually slowing down and satoru coming back up from his bend until you both stood still on the ice. âgood job toru!â
he grinned and ruffled your hair. âthanks!â
âmhm!â you responded, turning and skating away to the edge of the rink to hide the blush that was rising in your cheeks.
âwhat?!â he whined. âwhere are you going? do i stink?â
âno!â you laughed, shaking your head. âjust the usual sweat and B.O.â
âaw no!â he quickly skated to the edge of the rink and out before flying for his duffel bag. âi hate being a man i hate puberty this is ridiculousââ
âiâm kidding im kidding!â you called from across the ice, cackling when he stopped and whipped his head over, glaring at you. âyouâre fine toruâ not stinky.â
âwell youâre stinky for putting me in distress how about that?â he huffed, an eventual smile playing at his lips as he put down his duffel bag and went inside the rink again.
akira was currently on her way to compete at the olympics for her fourth gold medal in partner figure skating, you and satoru having no doubt in your minds that she was going to absolutely clear everyone else there and get it, as sheâs never gotten silver or bronze or anything lower than that.
âwhen do we fly to see aki again?â satoru called from across the ice, gliding to and fro in figure eights. âdonât say tomorrow morning because i havenât started packing yet heh⊠oops.â
you giggled. âit is tomorrow morning, dummy.â
âno!â he stopped and shoved his hands in his hair. âi havenât even started planning my outfits! oh i was gonna take so many pictures what am i supposed to do nowââ
you laughed loudly and skated back over to him, hands wrung behind your back as you looked at him cheekily. âyouâre silly toru. outfits for what? literally just show up.â
âitâs not everyday we leave the country y/n!â he whined. âi wanted to sport my best and look cool, dang it.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and lifted your hand, patting his head.
âiâll show up in pajamas and you show up in yours, and weâll call it a day. hm?â
he grinned.
âmatching? or seperate? and what color? plaid?â
âtoru!â
he laughed and skated past you, nudging your shoulder with his in the process. âiâm just messing with youuu, matching obviously!â
satoru came back around, reached up and straightened the ribbons in your hair, little white bows sitting pretty as a blush rose to his cheeks when he was done.
âwanna run it three more times and call it?â he suggested. âi wanna make sure i get what you told me down before we go.â
you smiled and quickly nodded, taking satoruâs extended hand and skating together to first position.
watching akira win gold in person for the first time in your life was an experience youâll never forget.
and she did it fucking beautifully.
with every precise move, with every articulate angle you and satoru screamed and yelled like crazy people in front of the rink while waving around your countries tiny flags, cheering with fat tears rolling down your faces when she successfully landed each time, holding each other so tight with mushed up cheeks throughout her routine with her partner and still in anxiousness when the time came for revealing final scores.
no one could skate like her. absolutely no one as she speedily glided across the ice and spun, prepped herself for the hardest most impressive turns you had ever seen in your life, and performed a quadruple axel rotation in the air all on her ownâ things that have always earned her the highest scores for three successive olympic years.
and four nowâ because when akira and her partner stepped up on that podium, you and satoru had to basically be yanked back by your mothers with the way you both tried to jump over the edge of the rink to her, her standing there like a beacon of light on the first place podium, a gold medal hung rightfully around her neck with flowers in her arms as she smiled so so big and happily, her eyes not once leaving you and satoru.
eventually when the ceremony was over, amongst all of the buzz and the crowd roaring and picture takingâ akira quickly skated over to the two of you and leaned on the edge of the rink.
âakiiii!â you both wailed and flung your arms around her neck, her giggling and hugging you both back as best as she possibly could despite the mass amount of bouquets in her hands.
âdid i do okay?!â she yelled over the noise.
you both pulled back and looked at her like she was insane.
âdid you do okay?!â you gawked.
âakiâ you won a fucking gold medal!â satoru yelled.
âHAH!â she laughed loudly. âdonât say that word in front of your mommy satoru sheâll chop my head off and kill me!â
you both giggled uncontrollably.
akira leaned her head in then and you and satoru followed through, all three foreheads resting against each others.
âlisten to me for a second.â she started. âyou guys are birds of a feather, okay? you need to stick together and fly together as one.â
she let you both go and dropped the bouquets she was holding on the icy floor before placing a hand on yours and satoruâs outer cheeks, bringing you in. âdonât fight. donât separate. donât leave each other. you need to keep each other and what you have safe.â
you both quickly nodded, tears funnily gathering at the corners of your eyes at what she was saying, and she smiled.
âyes partner figure skating is about chemistry and technicality, but itâs about love⊠and sometimes just that. without genuine love, nothing will click.â she let your cheeks go and grabbed her shiny gold medal, holding it up. âthis will be yours. i promise you.â
akira put down her medal, wiping both yours and satoruâs wet cheeks. âbirds of a feather. stick together. keep each other safe. do you understand?â
the two of you sniffled and nodded.
âand i need to stop cussing in front of you guys during practices, donât i?!â she smiled warmly, and you and satoru shook your heads frantically.
âno keep doing it!ââ
âitâs funny please!ââ
ever since akira told you that, it became you and satoruâs thing.
before and after every competition, with every hello and every goodbye at the beginning and end of the day, throughout the hours randomly whenever you both felt like it, youâd lock pinkies and reiterate âbirds of a featherâ before kissing your thumbs and locking your promise in placeâ another one of the many other ways youâd show that you loved each other.
but whether it was platonically or romantically remained unknown until you both hit high school.
perhaps it had always been romantically⊠that you werenât exactly sure of. but the way you and satoru had been treating each other since you were literally the age of six, made the technicalities of what it was blurry and a little confusingâ for you couldnât even remember when it was that you started loving satoru.
maybe it was that very first day when he skated over to you, wobbly and clumsy with a cheesy smile.
and as if it wasnât already confusing enough of what the two of you were, the way you acted made it ten times worse.
but youâd been that way since foreverâ embracing each other a little longer than you should, innocently kissing each others cheeks and heads and hands, calling each other pet names and being each otherâs dates to every single school danceâ
but it was all harmless. not a single bad thought behind it and doing it like a reflex.
it was like you both were line balancing across the thinnest tight rope known to mankindâ flimsy and unsteady, always on the verge of toppling over and falling completely into the darkening depths of the truth of what you were, but catching each other just before you did to regain balance back on the rope.
neither of you said it, but if you and satoru ever dared to be anything more than friends, and if something were to happen where you had to break upâ youâd lose your first love, your best friend, and your entire career all in one.
the consequences were too drasticâ you both knew that.
and you didnât want to break your promise⊠so you acted blind to it.
by the time you were seventeen and satoru was eighteen, akira started training you for the international skating union competition to earn a spot for the olympics.
wellâ she actually started when you were about fourteen, but as the years progressed, her coaching and critiques got increasingly more difficult and nitpicky as well as the moves she taught you, wanting you both to build endurance to it and perfect it so that by the time you reached the age requirement for the olympicsâ it would be easier to train for it and be formidable competitors against the other pairs.
you and satoru wanted to be olympians more than anything else in your lives, and akira knew just how important this was for the both of youâ making it her absolute mission to help accomplish solely that as she saw herself through the two of you.
your dreams were just like hers, and she respected and nurtured the fact with everything that she had.
âup! aaand up! and take herâ throwâ land oh shitââ
just as you had landed a semi complex throw jump, you lost balance and landed right on your ass, sliding across the ice on your side.
it was rare when you fell, and you absolutely despised when you did.
âfuck!â satoru quickly skated over to you and knelt down. âare you okay?!â
âwhy canât i land that man?â you whined, covering your eyes.
akira smoothly traveled over to you both.
âitâs okay! we just learned it today sweets likeâ right now⊠youâll have it down in the next five minutes.â satoru smiled softly, carefully helping you up on your skates and checking you over.
âdonât overly punish yourself, y/n.â akira reached and pinched your cheek. âi love that youâve always been so serious about your technique, but you have to leave room for error my love or else youâll choke yourself out.â
satoru ran a soothing hand along your back and you smiled cutely up at him, his heart jittering so much from it that he had to quickly retract his arm.
you nodded, always taking satoruâs and akiraâs words seriously like inscriptions to a stone wall. âokay!â
he grinned and kissed the side of your head before taking your hand and leading you to first position like always.
akira smirked.
âare you guys together yet!â she blurted from across the ice and you both choked as she skated over.
âare weâ are weââ you stammered.
âwhat?â she breathed out, placing her hands on her hips. âare you at least in love?â
satoruâs blue eyes bulged open with a furious pink tint to both of your cheeks.
âaki!â you whined, embarrassed. âstop itââ
âhave you guys at least gone on one date?â
satoru pouted. âno.â
âiâmââ you played with your fingers. âiâm going on one todayââ
âyouâre what?!â he whipped his head in your direction, eyebrows furrowed.
âyeahâŠâ you looked at him. âiâve never gone on one and some guy at school asked me so iâ i just thoughtââ
you thought itâd do you some good, since the one you wanted you couldnât really have.
âare you actually..?â satoru trailed off, an unfamiliar strike of something in his chest making him a little upset.
but he knew damn well what it was.
âbutââ akira stared at you wide eyed, pointing at satoru. âbut itâsâ itâs supposed to beââ
âaki!â satoru quickly grabbed her arm and lowered it, eyes snapping to you next. âis it that one guy you told me about? from your english class?â
âuh huh.â you fidgeted. âhe asked me again and i felt bad saying no so iâ said yesâŠâ
satoru swallowed, nodding.
âoh you big dummies!â akira groaned. âweâll talk about this later or else iâm gonna go into fucking cardiac arrest from frustrationââ
she skated off to the edge of the rink and out, leaning on it from the outside with her head dramatically hung.
you both got into starting position, but you faltered when you noticed satoru was oddly quiet and stiff.
ââŠtoru?â
he blinked down at you. âhuh?â
âyou okay?â
âoh!â yeah.â he smiled weakly. âiâm fine baby.â
âyou sureââ
âwhat time is your date?â
you gnawed at the inside of your cheek. âitâs a bit after this... i told him to just give me time to shower and get ready.â
âif he canât accept you stinky then heâs not for you.â he shook his head in distaste. âheâs already failing in my eyes sweets absolutely flunking. maybe you should cancel it? yeah i say cancel itââ
you laughed, heart in your throat as your eyes gleamed up at him. âi can barely accept you stinky so i wouldnât blame himââ
âhey!â he placed an exaggerated hand on his chest. âitâs not my fault i literally put my heart and soul out on the ice just for you to skate all over meââ
you gasped offendedly. âi donât skate all over youââ
âdo too!â
âdo not!â
âdo toââ
âyou guys!â akira called. âyou know i love it when you guys love on each other it makes me so happy and envision your wedding but right now we have to grind!â
you both froze up and snapped your heads in her direction with red faces, whining.
âaakkiii!ââ
you practiced what you had of the routine a couple of more times, a few new moves and jumps added after each run until akira called it a day upon noticing you and satoru were practically sweating your asses off and messing up several times out of exhaustion.
âgood job today you guys!â she smiled, patting you both on your shoulders. âi feel like the next time we meet weâll have the choreography down... from there we just need to perfect it and you should be good for the next competish, okay?â
you both nodded and thanked her, sweet smiles on your faces as she reached up and pinched a side of both your cheeks.
âmy little babies.â she cooed. âoh how youâve grown! you guys were so little when we started now satoru is huge man jesus christââ
she lifted her hand and reached up to measure satoruâs height from his forehead, her passing it over the top of her head and eyes widening at the huge gap.
he laughed and puffed up his chest. âi got big and strong too aki see?â he flexed an arm. âsee? eh?â
âthat you did!â she laughed brightly, ruffling up his hair. âthe strongest.â
you giggled and skated over to the edge of the rink to pack up, internally panicking a little that you guys went overtime and it was almost time for your date.
âsatoru..â akira whispered, looking over her shoulder to make sure you werenât listening. âwhatâs going on? you still havenât asked her out? i thought you said you were gonna do it.â
âno..â he mumbled. âbut we canât. and she knows that too soâ so what am i supposed to doââ
she gawked. âdo you not see whatâs happening?! sheâs gonna go on a date with someone else! off with this stupid fear you guys have already seriously.â
âwe caanâtt aki.â he pushed sadly. âitâs too risky.â
âbut itâs not though!â she threw her arms out. âyou guys have known each other since practically birth i feel like if it wasnât meant to be you wouldâve separated by now!â
satoru gnawed at his bottom lip in thought, eyes trained to the way your bows moved in your hair as you swung your duffel bag over yourself, smiling softly once he realized you had kindly packed his things for him too as you sat on the bench and waited for him to take you home.
akira sighed.
âitâs not my place to tell you guys what to do⊠but love has no limits. you know that.â
he nodded, smiling weakly at her as they skated out of the rink and prepared to lock up, akira hugging you both goodbye with a family kiss to your cheeks and you separating ways with her for the day, but not before her reminding you guys of practice tomorrow and that she loved you over her shoulder.
satoru was dreading you going on your date as he droveâ the both of you normally talking about random things like always but his mind unable to stray from the fact that you were actually giving some random dingbat a chance.
it was rare when either of you would talk to or date other people, never even as your heads have always been so focused on figure skating and competitions⊠but also on each otherâ taking care and loving one another that you never needed anybody else since you were everything to satoru and satoru to you, and you were both confident that absolutely no one could ever step up to that level.
so why were you going on a date?
but he shouldnât be like this. he knew that. there was a silent agreement between the two of you to never fall off that thin tight rope and keep each other balanced. and you were allowed to see and date whoever you wantedâ something that he probably should do as well to try and get over the fact that youâd never really be his.
satoru pulled up to your driveway and shifted his gear into park.
âthank you toru!â you smiled sweetly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
âyouâre welcome.â he murmured. âcan iâ can i come in with you? and hang while you get ready?â
you quirked a brow. âi thought thatâs what we were already doing silly.â
âokay well invite me woman!â you both got out of the car and walked up the steps to your front door. âyou canât just assume. what if i was busy? what if i also had a date? hm?â
you gave him a sly grin as you twisted in your keys to unlock the door. âdo you?â
â⊠no.â
you giggled and pushed open the door, the both of you immediately clasping your hands over your mouths to keep your laughs in at the sight of your mother sprawled out on the couch dead asleep with drool coming out of her mouth, the tv softly playing in the background as you quietly shut the door, went up the stairs and into your room.
satoru sat on your desk chair lazily while you quickly hopped in the shower to get ready for your stupid date, staring at the framed photographs on your nightstand that all consisted of you and him over the years, smiling softly at his favoriteâ a picture of the two of you when you were babies, cheek to cheek with huge smiles at the park as you held ice cream cones in each of your hands, satoru more than sure akira was the one who took that picture.
the sound of your door clicking shut pulled him from his thoughts as you walked in, drying your pretty hair with your little fuzzy towel and throwing it in the hamper once you were done.
âoh! i was gonna show you! i got these ribbons the other dayââ you got down on your knees and looked under your bed, sticking a hand in and pulling out a white box as you picked it up and shuffled with your knees closer to satoruâ sitting back on your ankles.
ââi was running out of ribbon so i got these!â you held up the box and satoru took it, examining the various pastel colors with warm eyes. âsome of them are polka dotted and i thought that was cute.â
âit is sweets!â he agreed.
satoru loved the ribbons in your hair, and youâd always wear them without fail because you knew just how much he did.
âi wanna start wearing bows too.â he wiggled his eyebrows, and you giggled.
âare you saying you wanna steal my brand toru?â you picked up a blue roll of ribbon from the box, a color that matched satoruâs eyes. âthought you were an honest man?â
he gasped. âi am an honest man! is it not obvious enough when i help you with your math homework? when i sacrifice my dignity and text you answers during your tests?â
you giggled and unrolled a strand of ribbon. ânot when you eat all of my sweets that you actively dig through my room forââ
âbut theyâre always the strawberry gummy puffs!â he whined. âthey make me a slut.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and stood, grabbing your little scissors and snipping off a piece of blue ribbon from the roll, stepping in front of satoru and leaning.
âwatcha doing?â he asked, placing his hands on your waist.
âiâm putting a little bow in your hair before i leave!â
he hummed. âdonât think itâll look as good on me as they do on you.â
you blushed, taking little pieces of white hair from the top of his head and wrapping the ribbon around, tying it the same way youâve been doing for yourself since you were the age of nine.
you took a step back once you were finished and laughed. âyou look cute toru!â
he raised a silly brow. âdo i still look big and strong?â
âbig and strong and prettyââ
âplease donât go.â
you stilled.
âwhat?â
satoru looked down, his bangs hiding his gorgeous eyes as he did.
âon your date.â he mumbled. âdonât go.â
you placed your hands softly on his shoulders, and his hold tightened a little around your waist.
âwhy?â
âbecause like i said if he doesnât accept you stinky then he canât have you when you smell like vanillaââ
âtoru...â you spoke sternly, softly. âwhy not?â
you didnât know why you were pushing it so much⊠maybe you were trying to see if you could get it out of himâ if he had the will to actually say it unlike youâŠ
and you hoped to god he would say it.
he slowly lifted his head and propped his chin up on your tummy, a sour expression on his face as he puckered his lips to the side like a little fish.
âdunnoâŠâ he muttered, his gaze flickering to yours and a sense of guilt swarming his chest at the uneasy look you had, his face relaxing as he sighed.
âsorry.â he smiled sheepishly, pulling back and letting go of your waist. âiâm kidding you have every right toââ
âmânot going.â you mumbled as you slid your hands away, looking down and playing with your fingers.
âhuh?â he furrowed his brows. âno baby go you should goââ
âi donât want to.â
you never did in the first place. you had foolishly thought that letting someone else in like this would be good for you and help you establish some sort of⊠barrier with satoru so you werenât always suffering so fucking much.
but you were absolutely stupid for that.
all youâve ever wanted was satoru, and doing something to pull you away from the type of relationship you had with him (whether platonic or romantic you had no freaking clue), was not only hurting you, but hurting him.
you didnât need anyone else, truly. all you needed was satoru and his silly smile and dramatic anticsâ to spend time with just him and skate and eat dinner together after practices every night while watching horror movies, laughing so much over his screams that your stomach hurt while he whined about how you were making fun of him.
thatâs all you needed⊠just satoru.
regardless if there was something more in question.
âyou donât want to?â he repeated softly. âwhy?â
âyou know why, toruâŠâ
you had said it so softly he barely caught it, but he did, his breath hitching in his throat.
that was the closest you two had ever gotten to acknowledging it.
you both were silent for a moment, the soft murmur of your tv downstairs filling the void as you looked at each other, tense and waiting for either of you to say something⊠anything.
but it was like the gravity of the foreseeable consequences settled onto your shoulders, and the pair of you could only sadly smile.
satoru stuck his pinky finger out towards you then.
âbirds of a feather?â he murmured.
you breathed out a little through your nose and looped your pinky with his, nodding.
âbirds of a feather.â
he kissed his thumb and you did the same before locking the promise.
for the rest of the night, you and satoru watched a bunch of shitty unknown movies to try and see who would break and laugh firstâ you feeling bad that you had to cancel so last minute on that guy from your english class, but not regretting it at all as you watched satoru scarf down two slices of pizza in one sitting and nearly throw up, you almost falling off the bed from laughing so much and him having to catch you midway down and pull you back up, saying that he was your hero and therefore you should give him your last stash of strawberry gummy puffs as a reward.
it was nearly two am when you and satoru finally settled down, both sprawled over each other on the bed as you stared up at the ceiling and talked about literally anything that came to your mindsâ stubbornly fighting off sleep for whatever unknown reason in the dark.
âyou know this is akiâs last olympics right?â you spoke softly, your arm propped up as you watched the way satoru played with your fingers.
âyeah..â he replied. âi donât really know how to feel about that.â
ïżœïżœme neither.â you shook your head. âbut she said it came at a perfect time because sheâd been wanting to retire for a while.â
and now it was yours and satoruâs turn to try and fill the legacy she had built.
he hummed, delicately interlacing your fingers together as the outline of it through the darkness made you blush and smile, the nooks between his digits blessedly made entirely just for you as your fingers slotted perfectly in each spot every time.
and satoru silently vowed for the millionth time in his life that he would always be your hero and keep you safe, a promise that was already tied into your birds of a feather contract, but needing to repeat it to himself anyways while he listened to the sound of your voice talk about your excitement for the upcoming olympics.
and my god were you excited, the both of youâ looking forward to seeing akira gracefully take home her fifth fucking gold medal like she always did with no repercussions, seeing her fans and the mass amounts of support she got every year with bouquets and teddy bears and picture taking, but also looking forward to spending even more time with herâ for not just practices⊠but for forever, even more than you already did now as you two were greedy and just loved akira.
you were looking forward to forever, the three of you.
until akiraâs accident.
âoh my god iâm gonna throw upââ
satoru hurled over just as you both stepped onto the bleachers at the olympic arena, you laughing and placing supporting hands on his shoulders as you followed your mother and satoruâs to your designated place by the front.
âtoru i told you youâd make yourself sick if you didnât leave that damn dessert table alone.â
âthere were cinnamon rolls baby. cinnamon rolls how on earth could i possibly just walk by a platter of cinnamon rollsââ
âokay!â you giggled, carefully leading him to sit down and ruffling his hair once you settled. âi get it! you love cinnamon rolls.â
ânot as much as i love youââ
âyuck!â you stuck your tongue out and pushed him away by his cheek, him laughing loudly as he shooed your arm away and grinned.
âtoruâ this is the last time weâre gonna be sitting here in the bleachers watching aki.â you mentioned. âisnât that fucking nuts?â
ânow iâm gonna cry and throw up.â
âno!â you giggled and nudged his shoulder. âthen youâll make me cry.â
he smiled and leaned over to plant a quick kiss to your cheek, reaching up and fixing the bows in your hair before looking straight ahead, his sparkling blue eyes staring at the rink.
the crowd roared suddenly and a mix of big and tiny flags of several individual countries waved in the air as you and satoru jumped and screamed when akira glided out with her skates and glittery dress, a huge dazzling smile on her face as she waved at the crowd, her eyes scanning around quickly before they finally landed on you and satoru.
as if she wasnât already smiling enough, it grew bigger at the sight of you both practically over the fucking rink calling her name, her blowing you both a kiss and connecting her hands together to form a little bird, fluttering it up funnily and making you laugh before spinning around and going to starting position with her partner.
âoh sheâs gonna wipe again.â satoru breathed out. âwipe absolute buttcheeks.â
you cackled as you both watched her routineâ incredibly fast paced and technical, filled with spins and throw jumps and lifts as she made it known that it was her last year and wanted to leave with a mark, you and satoru absolutely mesmerized by the choreography as a dramatic symphony of a classical piece drummed through your ears by the speakers.
each move was executed beautifully, you and satoru at the edge of your damn seats as akiraâs partner lifted her by the arms to settle over his shoulders into a split formationâ halfway through the routine already.
âmaybe we could do a move like that for when we compete!â you suggested over the music. âi feel like technically it couldââ
a hand flew over your mouth as you watched akira topple and slam to the ground upon coming down from her split lift, the spinning blade of her partner slicing through her abdomen as her head nastily collided with the iceâ the crowd screaming in terror.
âoh my god!ââ your chest moved frantically and you and satoru looked at each other, horrified faces as you watched the backside of her limp body on the ground surrounded by paramedics, her partner hovering over her in complete and absolute distress.
and there was so much blood.
blood that pooled all around her figure and stained her shimmering dress, blood that wouldnât stop fucking spreading as a stretcher finally made it out on the ice.
âbaby.â satoruâs voice shook. âwhy isnât aki moving.â
âiâ i donât knowââ
âaki!â
you both snapped out of your shocked daze and screamed over the rink and jumped, shoes slipping against the ice as the two of you tried to reach her through your panicked tears and calls, security speeding through and pulling you both back as you watched the paramedics lift her frail body onto the stretcher and away from the rink.
âthatâsââ you sucked in a sharp sob. âthatâs my aunt please let us goââ
âyou need to stay out of the rinkââ
âfuck you!â
satoru shoved security away and grabbed your arm, wishing you had your skates on as you both practically crawled over to where akira was being carried out, not giving a single shit about the way your mothers yelling demanded you back as security had to literally pull you and satoru by the ankles, further and further away from the scene and away from akira until the only thing left was her pool of sickly crimson blood in front of you, you and satoru wailing.
akira died at the hospital later that night.
the collision of her head against the ice brought such blunt force trauma that it caused irreversible brain damage, and with the amount of blood that she was already losing from the laceration of the bladeâ those elements combined didnât give her a single fighting chance at survival, her fate sealed from the moment her body hit the ground.
it was completely unexpected⊠an incident like that had never happened in not just olympic partner figure skating, but figure skating competitions as a wholeâ the severity of the situation so grave that the complex move akira and her partner performed that led to her death was banned from the olympics moving forward.
and you and satoru were fucking ruined.
ruined and crying and clutching over her arms and hands at her hospital bedside, it scaringly cold and stiff and not her usual warmth at all as you couldnât accept that this was your reality, that akira had left you both all alone after not only her initial familial love that youâd gotten since birth, but after nearly a decade of giggles and skating, her picking you both up from school and cussing up a storm because it made you and satoru laugh as kids, buying you ice cream and taking you out for beach days because she said the sun was good for your skin, harassing you and taking a million pictures of the two of you as she uttered over and over again that love had no limitsâ your dream of forever with her cruelly severed over the sport you all loved most.
yours and satoruâs mentor, friend, your fucking mother figureâ was gone.
your aunt was gone. your own blood.
the entirety of that bullshit situation sort of settled into your minds by the time her funeral cameâ painfully holding back tears as your family members gave their speeches and final wishes before the lowering of her casket, you and satoru not saying a single word throughout the entire thing until it was just you and him standing in front of her grave siteâ your mothers waiting for you in their cars.
you both chose not to give speeches. you couldnât.
âtoru.â you sniffled, drowning in your tears as satoru strained to keep his back, lips pulled into a thin line.
âyes pretty.â
âthis is so fucked.â
satoru breathed out a weak laugh and let a couple of tears slip down his cheeks, wiping them with the sleeve of his black suit as he grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, squeezing it.
âdiabolically fucked.â he responded.
there really wasnât much you could say at that moment in time, the two of you staring at the carvings on her tombstone as the wind softly blew over the petals of her flowers and letters, the day cloudy and cold and just fucked as you silently choked back sobs and whimpers, satoru lamely trying his best to stay strong for youâ be your hero as he pulled you into his chest and squeezed you with everything that he had, nose buried in your hair as his tears fell and dampened a few strands.
âbirds of a feather, toru.â you spoke softly, both of your frames shaking as the saying itself came from none other than akira.
he firmly nodded, lifting his head and kissing your cheek twice hard before looking at you.
âbirds of a feather sweets.â his red teary eyes made your heart ache. âyou canât leave me too, okay?â
you scoffed and wiped your eyes, a sad smile on your face. âi could never⊠you know that.â
it didnât really get easier from there, as everything in your lives reminded you of akira.
and though your mother was grieving the loss of her sister, she wanted to be left alone, and the only person that really understood the level of mourning you were on was satoruâ him always there in the blink of an eye when you would call him in the middle of the night crying your eyes out while he held you, or when broken sobs wrecked through satoruâs trembling body as he cried into your chest while you held him and vice versa, endless amounts of âi miss herâsâ and âbring her backâsâ as you took turns depending on the day rolling on the floor unable to physically breathe over the loss as you tried to anchor each other back to normalcy, wondering how the world could be so cruel and continue spinning when youâd just lost half of your hearts.
but it did. it continued to spin and turn and carry on as you and satoru day by day tried to patch over what happened, be there for each other and heal each other as you graduated high school and caught up with satoru in college, still together and still in your stupid limbo of âis there something moreâ except worse, and still inseparable three years later after akiraâs passing.
it didnât hurt any less, but the days definitely got easier⊠some harder than others as the time you spent with her became cherished distant memories, feeling eternally grateful for the way she raised and took care of you, for the work she had done, and for the legacy she had built for figure skating olympians around the world.
and because akira was so good and taught you both just as so, satoru and you had a little name of your own as youâve been sweeping competitions since the age of thirteen, ninety eight percent unbeatable and competitive as other pairs always knew who you were the minute you stepped onto the ice, eager and curious to see if you would make it into the olympics when the time came just like your mentor had done.
some deemed it cheatingâ unfair due to the fact that you had a four-time gold medalist olympian training you since childhood, but that assumption quickly diminished after her passing when you both continued to wipe competitions and take trophies home purely based on your talent.
and you both agreed to continue your careers without a coach, a decision that didnât even need to be thought twice overâ and you were twenty and satoru twenty one when the time drew near to try for the olympics.
finally.
âmy legs are gonna fall off and my balls are gonna droop to the icy floor if you donât give me a kiss right now.â
âtoru!â you giggled loudly, pushing his face away as he puckered up his lips and made obnoxious kissy noises, pulling you in by the waist. âtoru focus weâre on a time crunchââ
âtime crunch where?â he whined, stomping his blade down on the ice. âweâve been at it for so long already iâm cold iâm thirsty and i think we should go to that cute christmas festival patch thing you told me aboouuttt!â
âright now?â you asked. âi donât know toru⊠i had a set goal for us tonight and if we donât get itââ
âoh you damn perfectionist.â he scowled, letting you go and quickly skating to starting position. âfine.â
you gave him a knowing smile and skated over to his dramatic sulking figure, kissing his cheek softly and wringing your arms around his neck, pulling him in.
âletâs run it three more times and then we can go to the festival, okay?â
he jumped up like a little kid, eyes hyper and wild. âreally? honestly? truly?â
you nodded, gleaming up at him.
âis this a prank?â
âjesus toru youâre making me think iâm keeping you hostage here with how excited you areââ
âyiiippeeeee!ââ he grabbed your upper thighs and lifted you before spinning on the ice, the both of you laughing as he roughly turned until he gradually came to a stop, big goofy smiles on your faces as he did so.
satoru loosened his hold as you slowly slid down against his body, faces close and lovesick as his half lidded eyes looked at you, lips stinging to plant directly over yours after so many years of hopeless pining and avoidance, still refusing to acknowledge the situation, but it glaringly obvious at this point.
âwhat?â you whispered, your eyes fixed on his lips as your blades touched the ice again.
he softly shook his head, blue eyes greedily drinking in your pretty face as he retracted a hand from your waist and brushed his palm over your hair adoringly, hand raising to cup your cheek gently.
was he about to�
you swallowed, hands gripping his black t-shirt as you waited⊠anxious, hoping that he would do what you thought he was about to do.
but satoru squeezed his eyes shut in a grimace and quickly kissed the corner of your mouth before turning his back to you and skating to starting positionâ leaving you incredibly dumbfounded and disappointed.
satoruâs skin felt like it was on fucking fire as he looked at your stunning doe eyes blinking at him from across the rink, heart pulsing uncontrollably as you slowly skated to him and got into position, neither of you uttering a word about it as you ran the choreography three more times like you had agreed on.
you and satoru have had plenty of moments like that⊠but lately?
itâs been borderline dangerous with how close youâve gotten to breaking your unspoken rule.
by the end of practice you and satoru excitedly packed up for the christmas festival, more or less stumbling out of the doors of the rink and locking up before throwing your things in satoruâs car and speeding off to the main plaza, cheesy dorky smiles on your faces as you babbled on about all of the things you were gonna do once you got there.
âthe sâmores stand! the sâmores stand!â satoru whipped his head comically back and forth between you and the snowy road. âwe have to go there and get five nothing less and maybe moreââ
âwait! i wanna get some of that hot chocolate we got last year!â you quickly reached and gripped his shoulder. âthe one with the chocolate bits in it! and the whipped cream! and the drizzleââ
âoh fuck yeah how could i forget?â satoru made a turn, the shining glimmering lights of the festival and christmas trees coming into view and riling you both up in pure exhilaration. âi gulped down like four cups of those and then threw up in a bush.â
you laughed loudly and shook your head. âi forgot about thaaaattt! toru you always shove shit in your mouth and throw up we have got to work on thatââ
âno we donât!â he cheesed, reaching over and patting over your hairâ the smooth ribbon of your thin bows sliding underneath his palm. âi love sweets even if they hurt me. what doesnât kill you makes you stronger. where there is no struggle there is no strengthââ
âthe only strength i see is a man hunched over puking his guts out.â
âhey!â he pouted, pulling into the lot before parking and turning off the ignition, the both of you hopping out of the car and locking it as you walked towards the main entrance. âand iâll do it again so what.â
you giggled and interlocked your fingers with satoruâs. âsilly silly.â
the festival was livelyâ huge decorated christmas trees everywhere you went as twinkling fairy lights adorned every corner and direction of the lots premises, several open stands that continuously wafted chocolate and cinnamon and vanilla throughout the entire night that had satoru practically floating through the air following the scent, kids giggling and running around as the soft familiar tunes of christmas music hummed in the background.
âwhat do you want for christmas, sweets?â satoru asked while chowing down a giant sâmore.
âa kiss!â you quipped, giving him a cute silly look as you blew a bit of air over your steaming hot chocolate.
he stopped chewing.
âreally?â satoru spoke with his mouthful. âi can literally give that to you right now câmereââ
âno toru!â your cheeks buzzed a vibrant pink, completely flustered. âyouâre supposed to say a big fat no!â
ânow why the fuck would i do that...â he grumbled, shoulders slumping from disappointment as he took another big bite of his dessert.
you giggled, looking at him apologetically before standing on your tippy toes and licking a bit of melted chocolate from the corner of his mouth.
and he blinked at you, dumb and still as his cheeks copied the same exact shade as yours.
my god.
you were about to turn him into a freak.
âokay now you have to kiss me.â
âwhy?!â you laughed. âyou had chocolate on your face! i was helping you out.â
âyeah right you little minx.â he scarfed down the last bit of his sâmore and threw his little paper tray in the trash can behind him, putting his hands together and shaking off excess crumbs. âthatâs actually the most torturous thing you have ever done to me.â
âdramatic!â you exclaimed, laughs escaping you and increasing as you watched satoruâs flustered face pout and glare at you.
you breathed in deeply and settled down, standing up straight as you took a tiny sip of your hot chocolate and smiled. ânow i feel bad.â
âyou should.â
âcan you forgive me?â
ânot unless you kiss me.â
âtoru!â
âwhat?!â he pushed. âbaby itâs only fair! really! just once and thatâs it. a harmless peck nothing more we arenât doing anything crazier.â
you gnawed at your bottom lip in thought.
technically he was right⊠it was just one little peck, entirely harmless and cute and wouldnât have you both falling off of that thin tight rope you guys were still balancing off of.
this would only shake it a little⊠but then youâd be fine! right?
you were too far gone in the considerations of his proposal as you looked at his absolutely breathtaking blue eyes and face, somehow looking even more angelic as his pinky cold cheeks and nose and scarf covered neck did nothing but make you fall deeper in love with him than you already were.
how someone could look as good as satoru was beyond you.
âjustââ you peered up at him. âjust one peck okay?â
his eyes widened.
holy shit.
âyes!â he breathed out. âyes yes just one.â
âtoru.â you spoke sternly. âiâm serious.â
he frantically nodded, arms already snaking around your waist and bringing you in.
you both couldnât believe it.
you were about to have your very first kiss.
the two of you leaned in thenâ softly, timidly, afraid as satoruâs chocolate breath fanned against your nostrils and filled your lungs, lips coming closer and closer until they met in a simple, solid, tiny harmless peck.
satoru felt like his veins were about to pop and explode at the feeling of your delicate soft lips finally on his, the feeling actually fucking unreal as his fingertips went numb and his body tingled all over.
but it quickly became clear that it was not just one harmless peck.
because when it was supposed to be the time for you both to pull away, you and satoru only opened your mouths and kissed deeperâ eyelids blissfully closed as your lips smacked so slowly and tenderly, the two of you actively relishing in the moment and just drinking each otherâs mouths in as they moved and shifted, deep breaths through your noses as you daze-fully made out with the faint fuzzy sound of jingle bells and christmas music growing increasingly distant.
you tasted so sweet. just like heâd imagined.
but the moment came to and end when you both snapped your eyelids open in realization and released lips, pupils frantic and wide as you searched each otherâs eyes for any sign of anger since you both had slipped up and did way more than just a peck.
but there was nothing. obviously there was nothing like that as your shoulders relaxed simultaneously and bashful smiles crossed your faces.
âyou taste like chocolate.â he grinned.
you bit your bottom lip in a smile. âso do you.â
âtwins.â
âuh huh.â
âi love you.â
you stilled.
youâve told each other that thousands of times for years, since childhood.
youâve always said you loved each other and have both known it was laced with those unspoken feelings you had, and you accepted that for as long as you could remember.
but somehow⊠in someway⊠it just felt different this time around. profound. more serious.
âi love you.â you responded.
satoru smiled softly and leaned his forehead against yours, basking in each others authentic infatuation for a moment before pulling away.
âcan i get another sâmoreââ
âno!â
satoru ended up getting his second sâmore, and you surprisingly ended up partaking in satoru activities and downed three fucking cups of that hot chocolate you loved so much, your tummy full and about to literally burst, but not really giving a shit as you and him were having so much freaking funâ buying little christmas trinkets from the santa shop and building tiny snowmen in the snowy play area filled with a bunch of kids (satoru literally making a tiny dick for one of the snowman and you immediately destroying it and wacking him), even skating in the rink but purely just for enjoyment and not a single thought of what you do professionally crossing your minds.
you stayed there until it was nearly closing time, money absolutely spent from all the things you bought, but your souls happy and warm as you happily walked to the car so satoru could take you home.
on the drive there, you showcased all of the trinkets you both had bought, a particular one catching your eye that you remembered you hadnât shown satoru yet.
âoh! i got this oneââ you dug your hand in the white plastic bag and pulled out a little snow angel, beautiful and glossy as the angels face blushed and smiled. âat the santa shop!â
âitâs cute baby!â he smiled. âfor you?â
you shook your head. âi got it for aki. for the next time we visit her.â
his heart softened, nodding.
you and satoru tried your best to visit her grave as often as you possibly could, sometimes nearing four times a week to pay your respects and chat with her for a little while, filling her in a bit on your lives to bring back the feeling of what it was like to just talk to her in any way you could, like you had the fortune of doing once before.
âit kinda looks like her.. doesnât it?â he questioned, pointing to the figure.
âit does right!â you expressed. âthatâs why i got it⊠it reminded me of her.â
âsheâll love it.â he grinned, gently running the pad of his finger against your cold cheek before turning his attention back to the road.
you and satoru didnât mention the kiss again as you were funnily still in shock over it, but the butterflies in your stomachs and the sole memory of it did more than enough as you climbed into bed with an already snoring satoru, him sleeping over for the night (when was he not) as you nudged your way under his arm and cuddled yourself in his chest, his slumbered state pulling you in like muscle memory.
you both only had two more practices left before the international skating union competition. once there, you and satoru had to land a spot in the top three chosen by the national olympic committee to earn an official spot in competing for the olympics, a task that was already vigorous and exhausting and nerve wracking, but one you both were more than ready for.
general admittance to competing in the olympics was essentially fourteen years in the making, one that wouldnât have been possible in the first place if it wasnât for akira.
âi think we should add a spin to this lasso lift.â you suggested, you and satoru taking a break from running the routine and standing by the bleachers during practiceâ watching a recently recorded take of your choreography to point out mistakes that flew under your radars.
âa spin?â he asked. âhow sweets.â
âso when you lasso me around into the liftââ you rewinded the video and pointed. âsince youâre holding me up over your head and weâre balancing with our hands, i say you maybe push me up to kind of likeâ propel me to do a triple rotation spin back down.â
âand then from there i catch you?â
âyeah!â you nodded. âand weâre traveling across the ice.â
satoru pursed his lips. âthatâs kind of hard⊠you sure?â
âweâve done worse toru.â you laughed. âi feel like this would give us more points.â
âoh it definitely would.â he nodded. âokay baby.â
âyay!â you cheered. âletâs practice the lift and propel on the mats first because if not iâm gonna eat shit.â
satoru laughed and sat down on the bleachers with you, quickly taking off his skates before standing and kneeling in front of you, untying your laces and slipping your skates off for you as you cutely smiled, him feeling like your little hero and knight in shining armor even if it was for something so minuscule.
he loved doing things for you.
in the middle of you and satoru practicing the move on the mats, your mother came in through the front doors of the ice rink.
âhi!â she greeted, holding up two wide rectangular boxes. âyour costumes came in!â
âoh thank god!â you breathed out, satoru setting you down on your feet before you both ran to see. âi thought they werenât gonna come in on time!â
âare they cool?!â satoru tumbled out. âdo they scream please let me in the olympics?!â
you snorted and shoved his shoulder playfully as you unwrapped your boxes, your eyes shining in delight at the sight of your rhinestoned pale baby blue dress, a shade you purposefully picked out as it matched the color of satoruâs eyesâ you lifting it with your fingertips from the box and gushing.
you turned it around and held it up against your frame as satoru pulled his top outâ a white, tight long sleeved low cut v-neck button up that you already knew was gonna hug his yummy biceps so good, the thought of it making you bite the inside of your cheek as he checked over his black slacks.
your mother clasped her hands together, holding it to her mouth as her eyes gleamed over the two of you.
âi canât believe itâs happening now.â she spoke softly, you and satoru diverting your attention to her and smiling. âfor so long it was always just a distant thing you know? but now itâs here. actually.â
âfuck i know right.â you responded.
âlanguage, y/n.â
âbut iâm twenty!â you whined, pouting as satoru snickered behind you.
your mother rolled her eyes and cupped yours and satoruâs chins under her hands.
âgood luck next week, alright? i know you guys will sweep.â she pushed. âmake aki proud.â
the smiles on your faces grew, nodding as she squeezed your chins and released.
âoh! satoruââ your mother picked up her jacket and swung her purse over her shoulder. âyour mom wonât be home for the night her trip got extended until tomorrow⊠you can sleep over at our house if you want so youâre not over there alone? or y/n can stay with you?â
âoh okay!â he spoke kindly. âthank you for letting me know!â
she smiled and nodded, hugging you both goodbye before leaving the rink.
your head whipped in his direction.
âtoru if i sleep over at your house we can watch horror movies and actually scream as loud as we want without worrying about waking anybody up.â
his eyes bulged open. âoh my god youâre right! dibs i get to chooseââ
âfuck!ââ
by the end of practice you and satoru mastered the addition you added into the lasso lift, performing it beautifully on the ice over and over again until it was like simple reflex, calling it a day after a while and packing your things up to drive to satoruâs house.
you both took turns stepping in the shower to get rid of the sticky sweat that lingered on your skin, changing into comfy pajamas after as you tiredly settled in satoruâs big comfy bedâ him flicking through his selection of horror movies and debating which one to pick.
âdo you wanna watch something gory or just horror.â
âgory!â you perked up. âi need to work on not being so queasy.â
âbut you seem fine when i throw up?â
âthatâs because iâm used to it.â you laughed, head resting on his shoulder as he picked a movie and threw his remote somewhere across the bed, his arm coming to wrap around your tummy and pull you in.
it wasnât like the selection mattered anyways, because fifteen minutes into the movie you were already falling asleep, hand resting on satoruâs torso as he continued to watch itâ for some reason still wide awake even after skating for hours.
your sleepy sudden movements from your hand made him weirdly stiffen and relax every single time, your brows furrowing at the feeling and eyes fluttering open when he wouldnât stop doing it.
âtoru⊠are you still ticklish?â you mumbled sleepily.
he stiffened again.
âno.â he answered softly. âwhy..?â
you lazily grinned.
âyouuu suureee?â
terror struck him as he sensed exactly what the fuck you were about to do.
âplease spare me please spare meââ
you jumped on him and tickled his entire upper body, satoru laughing and gasping as he smacked your hands away and twisted and turned, his strong grip making it hard for you to tickle him at one point as you stubbornly swung a leg over his waist and settled over his lap, attacking him while he yelped and screamed.
âbaby!â he gasped. âbaby please! have some mercy is this how much i mean to you?!â
you giggled and finally stopped, hands retracting as you settled them on your hips. âthatâs what you get for lying to me.â
âi was lying for my safety.â
âuh huh.â
you both grinned, satoruâs eyes occasionally flickering down to you straddling his lap with your pretty plushy thighs and blushing, trying to keep his gaze on yours to refrain himself from doing something a little too mental and weird.
but it was too fucking late, because it took no time at all for the blood to rush to his pathetic dick and harden.
surprisingly though, you were the one that was mentalâ the feeling of his cock against your clit undeniable as the uncomfortable shifts of satoruâs waist only stimulated it against your little nub and made you bite down hard on your bottom lip, shaky breaths leaving your mouth as it was getting harder and harder for you to restrain yourself from satoruâs godlike existence.
and your body was just not listening as you timidly rolled your hips over his crotchâ your short shorts criminally thin as you felt just how big satoruâs length was, mouth watering as your palms timidly settled over his chest for stability, grinding on his cock harder.
satoruâs eyes were blown out as he watched you do something soâ so lewd, his mind wandering if you were fully and properly there as something like this was absolutely breaking your unspoken rule, and you were more strict about it than he was.
but he didnât want you to stop. god no.
at this point, you and satoru were off that metaphorical tight rope and hanging on by two handsâ having both failed at keeping each other balanced as you rolled and rolled your hips deliciously on his dick, his chest quickly rising and falling at the feeling of your warm pussy over his groin and at the sight of you using him to get yourself off.
your little needy mewls made his hands tremble as he threw his head back on the pillow, eyes pathetically fucked out over something so simple.
âfuck me..â satoru groaned, hands coming up to rub over his face as his hips lifted to meet your grinding.
him doing that broke you out of your haze and you stiffened, satoru taking his hands away from his face with pinched brows at the sudden halt.
what happened?
âokay!â you laughed nervously, an alarmed expression as you swung your leg off of his lap and scrambled under the covers, pulling it completely over you as you shamefully looked anywhere and everywhere but satoru.
but he was out of it.
undoubtedly out of it now that you did what you did⊠wanting more, wanting all of you as he snatched the covers off of your frame and you squeaking as a result.
âwhyâd you stop.â he whispered, thumb raising to trace your bottom lip.
âi donâtâ i donât know what youâre talking aboutââ
âyes you doââ
âabsolutely notââ
âi want you.â he cut you off. âi want you bad and i know you want me too so letâs justâ letâs just do this once, okay? once please just to see what itâs like and itâll never happen again.â
your eyes remained wide as you looked at his desperate frantic ones, his hands already kneading at your waist and thighs.
he was entrancing you into his proposal again, exactly the same way as when you both kissed for the first time at the festival as he leaned down and nibbled at your jaw, slotting himself in between your legs.
âdoâ do what?â
âfuck.â he mumbled, rolling his hips down on your pussy rough and you gasping at the sensation of his big cock against your clit again.
you whimpered as he rutted into you, hands flying to squeeze his biceps as his wet mouth moved down to your neck, licking and gnawing as he waited for your response.
âbut isnât thatââ you stifled a moan. âisnât that too far toru?ââ
âplease baby please.â he picked his head up and looked at you. âjust once i swear once so we see what itâs like and get it out of our systems and never do it again. i promise.â
he needs to kiss you right fucking now.
your eyes fluttered closed as he continued to hump you, licking your lips as you weakly tried to look into his eyes.
âyou swear?â you breathed out. âswear it just once and thatâs itââ
âi swear i swear i swearââ
âokay then fuck me toru pleaseââ
satoru nearly cried as he ripped himself away from you to frantically pull off his shirt and pants, him slapping your hands away when you tried to take off your own clothes as he wanted to do it himselfâ lifting your shirt over your head and downright tearing your shorts in half as he flung them down and across the room, your little pink bra and panties set actually turning him into a complete mess as he hovered back over you and shoved his tongue in your mouth.
you still tasted just as sweet as he remembered.
âbeen dreaming ofââ mmpfâ âkissing you since you let me, sweets.â
âyeah?â your lips moved sloppily with his as you snuck a hand in your panties and dipped your fingers in your pussy, collecting your arousal. âyou missed me toru?â
âuh huh.â he breathed hotly against your lips, hand coming to slide underneath your bra to cup your bare tit. âevery fucking night iâd jerk my dick dry thinking about it.â
his words made your clit twitch as you pushed him off your lips.
âopen your mouth.â
satoru did as told without a peep and opened it with his tongue out, your hands coming out from your panties as you reached up and slipped your fingers in his mouth, his lips closing in and sucking everything you had to give him as he salvaged up your arousal.
âfuckââ he released your fingers. âis this from your pussy baby?â
âmhm.â you moaned.
your arousal was even sweeter.
âmy godââ he grabbed your wrist and licked a long stripe up your palm. âyou dirty fucking thing mâgonna have to taste for myself and see.â
you gasped. âwhat?â
satoru sat up and pulled your wet panties down your legs, biting down on his tongue hard at the sight of your angelic bare cunt before him, slick and shiny and pretty as you unclasped your bra and spread your legs for himâ eager and ready and not a single other thought in your brain besides the one that was screaming for satoru to stick his dick inside you.
âtoruuuu!â you whined. âquit staring and fuck me.â
his cock pulsed.
âpatience sweets, i wanna taste you first.â
you expected satoru to just lower himself down and shove his head in between your thighs, but you were dead fucking wrong as he stood, grabbed your waist and yanked you high up, sitting you on his shoulders as you squealed and gripped his hair.
âwait toru isnât this uncomfortable iââ
he scoffed. âfuck no. iâve been lifting you my whole life baby this is nothing.â
your speech lodged itself in your throat as you felt his tongue lap at your folds and clit, slobbering and filthy as he ate and scarfed you down just like his usual daily sweets, you by far his absolute favorite as he slurped your little pussy up and made you squeal and moan.
satoru walked over to the wall and leaned you up against it, taking your thighs off of his shoulders and placing his hands underneath as he propped you up and spread your legs wider, your jaw dropping at his slimy tongue flicking and him slabbering his mouth side to side rapidly until your legs shook and you saw stars.
âtoruââ
he grunted, tongue prodding at your hole and you jumping.
âi thinkâ i think iâm gonna cum and iââ pant âi donât wannaââ
satoru separated his mouth from your pussy with a squelch and looked up, smiling big.
âtoo bad!â
âbutââ
he spit on your cunt and you gasped.
âi said too bad.â
he dipped back in and fully devoured you as you mewled, messier as he slushed his tongue all over and youâd never experienced something like this, something that felt so fucking good as you started cumming all over his face in record speed regardless of how hard you were trying to hold back.
âyummy.â
he let go and you dropped down as he quickly caught you, turning and throwing you on his bed as he climbed over youâ wrapping a hand around his cock and jerking as he kissed and swallowed your lips up again.
âyou want me to make love to you or fuck you?â he slopped against your mouth before pulling back, yours and his eyes fluttering open to look at each other.
your legs were still shaking by the eat out he gave you seconds before, finding it hard to get your words together as his handsome deluded face stared at you.
âiâ umââ
he placed his lips next to your ear.
âyou want me to fuck you like my wife or fuck you like a little slut? or both?â
âboth toru pleaseââ
he grinned, coming back up as he parted your legs further open and lined his leaky tip with your hole.
âi can do both!â
satoru pushed himself in and you choked, hands clasping over your mouth as you felt him bully his big cock through and leave you a blabbering crying mess under himâ his chest heaving at the warmth and softness and stickiness of your cute gummy walls, his years of imagining and theorizing how youâd feel wrapped around his dick all completely debunking themselves at the real feeling as you whimpered and clenched your hole.
âjesus christââ he shivered, swallowing thickly as his trembling fingers settled on your waist, him slowly reeling his hips back before pumping in. âyouâreâ youâre warm.â
you dropped your hands and wiped your cheeks as you hiccuped, the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of your walls incandescently euphoric as you embarrassingly already felt yourself wanting to cum again when he had just stuck his dick inside of youâ you wanting to ride out this moment for a bit longer and not finish so quickly like you had done on his mouth.
âam i being too mean pretty?â he huffed, thrusts now quick and curt as he gripped your bouncing tits and pinched your perking nipples, the sight of your little tears shamefully turning him on.
you frantically shook your head and tried to clear your brain. ânâno!ââ
âgood.â he smiled, a little crazed as he let go of your boobs, placed his hands on the backside of your thighs and pushed your knees up to your chest, picking up speed as you squealed and whimpered, utterly taken aback by how rough satoru was being considering the fact that he was such a goofy and kind and loving person on the daily.
oh⊠what years worth of pent up sexual frustration can do to a man.
satoru whined as you milked his dick, wheezing as he hammered his hips up and slapped against your skin, your body jolting and bouncing uncontrollably as his bed squeaked loud and obnoxiously.
thank god his mother wasnât home.
âiâve wanted this iâve wanted this iâve wanted thisââ satoru babbled, his critical thinking out the fucking window as he just tumbled out totally random but honest confessions as your ears eagerly drank up every word and made your hole tighten.
âyeah?â pant âfâfor how long baby?â
âfor so longââ he whined loudly, fucking you faster as your mouth hung open and you gripped his wrists for support. âyouâre everything iâve ever wâwantedââ
âiâ iâve only ever wanted you toruâ fuck! youâre big.â you moaned, loving the way a huge deranged smile spread across his face as his hips pistoned into you and his hands pinned you down.
âcum on my dick baby please cum on my dick i want it i want itââ
your toes curled and you squealed, vision flashing white as you let out a high pitched scream at the intense buzzing feeling, your bodies hot and sticky and wet as satoru leaned over and shoved his lips in your ear.
âcan iâ can i cum inside?â he choked through gritted teeth as he came close to spilling his seed. âplease i wanna cum insideââ
âbut mânot on the pillââ
âplease please baby i beg youââ hah! âi donât wanna cum anywhere elseââ
your eyes fluttered shut at his words and you quickly nodded, his hand cupping your face as he thrusted in one last time and pumped his cum entirely inside you without an ounce of hesitation for the consequences, his horny mind actually crazed and solidifying that there was no fucking way in hell he was gonna accept just friends from this point forward.
what a stupid thought.
âmmmâŠâ you slowly moved your hips a little, feeling his cum all inside your ravished walls as you licked your lips. âyour cum feels hot toru.â
not even warm, hot as it slushed and moved inside you with every movement you made, some of it dribbling and coating your outer folds as you bit your bottom lip into a smile and craned your head up to his neck, nibbling and giving satoru tiny kitten licks as he trembled and struggled to stay afloat and not give out his upper arm strengthâ trying to prevent himself from squishing you.
satoru pressed a soft tender kiss to your cheek then before sitting up and delicately sliding his dick out, running a soothing hand over your tummy as he did so and giving you a lazy smile.
he suddenly raised his pinky to you.
âbirds of a feather?â he murmured, other hand running from your stomach over to your thighs now as he just lovingly felt you up, you smiling with rosy cheeks as you linked your little pinky with his.
âbirds of a feather.â
you both kissed your thumbs and locked your promise, deciding then that you should probably shower once more before getting into bed to officially sleepâ but deciding to shower together as you softly and steamily made out under the misty hot running water, body and mind relaxed as you just swallowed in the ambience of each other, you both not only holding on to your metaphorical tight rope with one hand now, but it actually on the verge of snapping as a whole and sending you both free falling.
and for the next couple of days, you and satoru were feral.
years and years of doing fucking nothing with pure restraint and fantasizing did a number on you both as any chance you got you were making out on your bed, his bed, and even in satoruâs car after your lecturesâ your hand teasingly going lower and lower until youâd shove a hand in his pants to pull his dick out and pump, your body leaning across the console and mouth going down to bob and suck as he moaned and pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail to guide you and your pretty bows and fuck your mouth just to hear the sounds of you choking, eyes from time to time frantically looking around to see if no one was around as you blowed him.
and you did that basically all of the time for the next three days until the final practice just before the international skating union competition, satoru physically unable to leave you alone and unscathed as he constantly pinned you down to eat your pussy or suckle on your soft tits, his hand tightly clasped over your mouth in your room when your moans would get too loud as he fingered you, his long fingers squelching and abusing your cunt until you were finishing all over his hands again and again.
but you two having actual sex didnât happen again apart from that nightâ satoru a man of his word since he promised you would only do it once⊠unfortunately. but that didnât mean you couldnât do other things, right?
except by the final practice, satoru was absolutely fucked off at the fact that neither of you had brought up the potentiality of being more than just friends, especially after doing all of those lewd acts.
he was so sick of it.
and so were you, quite frankly, but instead of being completely over it like satoru, you were afraid⊠afraid of what could happen and the possibility of losing him if you both indulged, if you let yourselves put your freaking careers on the line.
and satoru was the one person you couldnât bear to lose. not ever.
âwe look good sweets!â satoru cheesed, rotating around in the ice rinks dressing room mirrors as you had your costumes on for dress rehearsal and refinements, both of you glittering and shiny and looking like a professional ice skating pair as you examined yourself, readjusting your straps and hugging your torso.
âcold.â you shivered. âmaybe i shouldâve had it as a long sleeve⊠shit.â
he laughed and placed his hands on your arms, rubbing up and down quickly to create frictional heat as you smiled at him gratefully. ânah, itâs cute like this! youâll warm up once we run it a few times on the ice.â
you nodded, the both of you walking out of the dressing room and to the rink, skillfully putting on your skates before pushing yourself on the ice and gliding across.
âcan you show me the uhââ satoru looked to the side in thought once he was on the ice in front of you. âthe part where we skate in unison and have our arms up in an L? itâs in the chorus of our musicââ
âoh!â you nodded and skated a bit away from him to demonstrate.
âi just wanna see if my form matches yours and we look clean.â he smiled. âand then show me the triple axel after that.â
you gave him a cute thumbs up and pushed yourself off, gliding gracefully and smoothly across the ice as satoru was supposed to be watching you to try and fix his form, but finding himself transfixed once again by the way you seamlessly skated with no sense of struggling effortâ arms poised and flowy as your dress moved and fluttered with every twist and turn until you gradually propelled yourself up into the triple axel and landed correctly without a slip or wobble.
the level of difficulty and technicality you skated reminded him of akiraâ but your style, your movement, and the way you carried yourself was entirely your own.
you made figure skating look beautiful.
you were beautiful.
you slowed down on the ice and skated over to satoru.
âwere you able to see? did you match me?ââ
âyou skate just like her.â satoru spoke softly, and you faltered.
he didnât need to clarify who he was talking about, as you always knew.
âyouâre just saying that.â you pursed your lips to keep yourself from smiling, or crying, you didnât know.
but a compliment like that meant the absolute world to you.
âiâm not.â he shrugged, skating over to you and taking your hands as he glided with you to starting position. âyou always have baby. and i know thatâs what youâve always wanted. iâm sorry i donât say it enough.â
your eyes softened. âtoru thatâs not something to be sorry about at allâŠâ
satoru was so kind.
you both skated together and ran the choreography a couple of times, spinning simultaneously and satoru lifting you again and again throughout the routine and still performing your lasso spinning lift successfully, arms around his shoulders and faces close as the wind whipped through both of your costumes and hair from traveling across the ice at such a speed before coming to a sudden choreographed halt at the end of your number.
you had slid down satoruâs body to plant your blades back on the ice when he had enough.
âplease stick your tongue in my mouth.â
you choked on your spit and slapped a hand over your mouth.
âtoru no! absolutely not we canât anymore okayââ
âwhat are we.â
you froze.
âhuh?â
âwhat are we.â he repeated, eyes dead locked on yours and hard. âare we together? are we not? are we friends? what are weââ
âweâreâ weâre friends toruââ
âoh fuck no.â he let you go and created a little bit of space between you. âdonât give me that shit weâre not friends.â
âwâwell we canâtââ
âiâm your man.â he stated firmly. âiâm your man iâve been your man for years and iâm tired of avoiding this sweets! it sucks!â
âweâre putting everything at risk if we do toru we canât!â
âiâm your man.â
âno youâre notââ
he cut you off. âyour mouth has been on my dick. weâve had sex. weâve kissed weâve made out weâve told each other i love you if that doesnât tell you that weâre together then what the actual fuck?!â
âoh my god toru i know i know!â you groaned, hugging yourself as you anxiously looked at him. âwhat happens if we break up? huh? what do we do?â
he shook his head. âwe wonât.â
âyou donât know that.â you laughed bitterly. âif that happens we lose each other satoru understand that. we break birds of a feather, we ruin our careers, and we ruin us.â
âfirst of allââ he started. âour birds of a feather promise is to stick together, keep each other safe, and not seperate or fight, is it not?â
âitâ it isââ
âso do you really think if we continue to keep each other in this fuck ass limbo of friends that we arenât already breaking that?â he threw his arms out in emphasis. âwe have never been just friends. iâve known you for fourteen fucking years and we have never been just that.â
you blinked back tears.
âi promise you babyââ he slid closer to you and cupped your cheeks. âthat we wonât leave each other. i will fight and try every single damn day to make sure that that shit never happens even though i already know it wonât because youâve been made for me since birth and we havenât separated since weâve met.â
satoru wiped your cheeks. âbut i also promise you, that if we continue as just friends, we will break. weâre gonna string each other along so fucking much that weâre gonna go absolutely insane and drive each other away. that is for certain.â
âbutâ skatingââ
âi donât give an ever living fuck.â he spat funnily and you laughed through your tears. âskating is nothing without you. all the trophies and medallions and the god damn olympics itself with that gold medal is nothing without you. i would give that shit up in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you in my life in exchange.â
âand i would do the same for you toru!â you sobbed, his arms immediately wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you in as you sniffled and hiccuped into his chest, him kissing the side of your head repeatedly and soothing a hand down your back.
âdonât cry pretty i didnât meant to make you cry...â he mumbled, cheek mushed up against your head as your shoulders shook, a huge disgusting pit of guilt in his stomach. âfine itâs okay we can be just friends for a bit longer please donât cryââ
âno!â you sputtered, pushing him back a little to face him. âi donât wanna be just friends anymore either toru⊠it hurts me so much.â
âit does?â he asked softly and you nodded.
âit hurts me too.â
satoru wiped your remaining tears again and fixed the little bows in your hair, a soft liberated smile on his face as he reached down to cup your cheeks and bring your perfect lips to his, kissing you lovingly as the both of you felt like you could finally rest and stop ridiculously hiding your love in the shadows after so many years.
the thin tight rope that you had both been toppling over and rebalancing and holding onto to keep the other from falling, had finally snapped in two, and you and satoru were now in the darkest depths of the truth of what you both were.
except it wasnât dark at all.
it was light and airy and heavenly, and you wondered why you had been so afraid when there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place, since the one you were falling with was satoru.
silly.
he pulled apart and looked at you, his striking blue eyes and white fluffy hair especially beautiful.
âtomorrowââ he began. âweâre gonna absolutely destroy everyone else there and land a spot in the top three, and then after iâm gonna take you out on a nice dinner and buy every single fucking dessert off the menu, and then iâm gonna ask you to be my girlfriend. okay baby?â
you giggled then, the brightest rosy cheeks on display from the both of you as you eagerly nodded and threw your arms around his neck.
and tomorrow could not come soon enough, because not only were you looking forward to making your dreams a reality and competing against other figure skating pairs from around the world and the olympics itself, but also the thought of officially being satoruâs after years of wishing on little stars and day dreaming about what that would be like for hours on end.
until the moment was here. happening.
the indoor arena was electric and rowdy the minute the competition commenced, you and satoru in absolute awe of the energetic atmosphere as many individuals in the crowd waved their banners or screamed their loved ones names, an ambience very similar to the olympics as you both watched pair after pair perform their hardwork and dedication on the ice, goosebumps on your skin as you fidgeted and jittered.
out of twenty of your countries competing pairs, only three of you would be chosen for the olympics.
and you hoped to god you and satoru would be chosen.
âweâre almost up baby.â satoru patted your head, sitting on a bench in your designated area. âi think itâs two more pairs then itâs us.â
you nodded, nerves closing up your throat as your eyes darted over the rink.
satoru frowned.
âhey.â he placed a hand on your thigh, suddenly wanting to rip your nylon tights off so you could actually feel his skin on yours. âyou nervous sweets?â
you nodded again, and he gave you a silly grin.
âdonât be! youâre literally akira the second. weâll be fine!â
you laughed lightly and leaned your head on his shoulder.
âand even if we donât land a spot, thatâs fine too.â he kissed your head. âitâs our first year anyways⊠weâll know the game for next time and weâll try harder.â
you picked your head up and smiled at him, his words settling your nerves just as soon as the last remaining pair took their places on stage, yours and satoruâs turn right after.
what you didnât know, was that satoru was just as nervous as you.
but he knew you needed a rock and someone to comfort youâ wanting to swoop in like a little hero and save you again⊠so he kept it hidden.
âfuck i almost forgot!â satoru jumped up and dug into his duffel bag, pulling out a roll of pale baby blue ribbon that matched your dress exactly. âyou told me you didnât have ribbon that matched your costume so i went and tried to look.â
he held it out for you cutely on his palm.
âdoes this one match?â
you picked up the roll, astonished and mushy inside that satoru actually went out of his way to find this specific ribbon color for you because you had expressed how unhappy you were with the darker shade you had, your eyes looking up at him in complete adoration.
âoh my goodnessâ thank you toru!â
you quickly undid the bows in your hair and slipped off the former ribbon, digging through your duffel bag for scissors and cutting off pieces from the new ribbon before looping them through your hair and tying, not needing a mirror since youâve done it for as long as you could remember.
satoruâs cheeks went pink as he looked at your new pretty bows.
âdoes they look okay?â
âbeautiful.â he responded, pecking your lips before taking your hand and leading you to the entrance of the rink.
âokayââ you breathed out. âthis is it.â
âwhat kind of food do you think theyâll have at the dinner place we pickedââ
âtoru!â you giggled. ânot now!â
he smiled sheepishly at you before leaning his forehead against yours.
you stuck your pinky out.
âbirds of a feather?â
satoru grinned and looped his pinky with yours.
âbirds of a feather baby.â
you both kissed your thumbs and once again, locked your promise.
the announcer over the speakers iterated your names and your country as you and satoru glided across the ice poised and graceful with your arms up, waving at the crowd and giving your mothers a special frantic wave before moving to starting position, unknowing of the way several other pairs and the judges themselves murmured about your reputation and your association with akira.
and you hoped she was watching over you both now. somewhere.
the music begun, contemporary and lyrical as you and satoru slid across the rink, already impressive and entertaining as you performed moves and lifts right off the bat, the sounds of your blades scraping against the ice oddly keeping you in time with your choreography as the number went on.
and you and satoru were feeding off of each other, the chemistry undeniable to a strangers eye that had no idea of your story as you conveyed passion through your expressions, each technical movement bleeding with the fact that you both had been olympic level trained since the age of fourteen and fifteen.
you were halfway through your routine now, the lasso lift coming up next as satoru harbored in his strength so he could properly propel you into that newly added spin.
you skated around him and he lifted you up into the air, the crowd cheering and excited at your beautiful remarkable forms.
except satoruâs hands were slippery.
why?
nerves. he quickly deemed it nerves as he had no time to deliberate since it was almost time to propel you up into the spin, his mind already racing over the fact that the slip in his hands was hindering his strength to keep you up there, and he worried that if he pushed you up, it wouldnât be enough and youâd come tumbling downâ hurting yourself.
but satoru had zero time to decide again as he went with protocol and pushed you up as hard as he possibly could and prayed you would go into your triple axel spin successfully and that heâd catch you.
but the minute that he did, the force yanked him back and his skates flew up in front of him, you falling down and your thigh hitting something sharp before you both went slamming to the groundâ sliding apart from each other on the ice.
the crowd screamed and gasped in terror, sounds you were all too familiar with to what you heard three years ago filling both your fuzzy minds as satoru struggled to get back up, his head turning slowly around to see if you were okay and just sore like himâ
until he saw your limp body on your side, your back to him with blood slowly pooling out on the ice and staining your pretty blue dress.
satoru scrambled up and skated straightaway in a panic to you before sliding on his knees as he reached you, turning you over and paling as he saw you were unresponsive and out fucking cold.
âbaby?â he shook you. âheyâ babyââ
nothing.
why werenât you answering him? why werenât you awake?
his brain flashed images of akiraâs body the day that she died, suffocating deja vu as the way you looked when he saw you like that on your side was a carbon copy of her from three years ago, his chest picking up speed as you continued to lay limp even after he shook you desperately numerous times like a madman.
and why was there so much blood?
blood that looked sickly bright red against the white ice, blood that stained his sleeves and shirt and hands as he held you up and supported your head, and blood that wouldnât stop fucking oozing out of your leg as he trembled.
âheyâ hey can you hear me?â satoru tapped your cheek rapidly, shaking you gently again with horrified eyes and still not getting a response.
âfuck! why is this happening this isnât supposed to happenââ
how could he be your hero? how could he stop the blood and wake you up? how could heâ how could he fix this how could he take it all back how could he fix thisâ
âno no no baby pleaseââ he sobbed. ânot like aki baby not like her manââ
he shook you again, your head lolling to the side as ifâ as if you wereâ
no.
âbabyâ birds of a feather right? birds of a feather we have to stick together you canâtâ you canât leave right?â he cried, chest heaving and vision blurry and you just felt so cold.
âyouâre not leaving youâre not leaving me please not like aki please godââ he cradled you up to his chest in his arms and rocked. âyou canât leave me youâre all i know and i donât wanna know anything else please babyââ
satoruâs frantic repeated heartbroken wailing echoed throughout the arena as the crowd erupted and moved around in hysteria, him still rocking you in his arms as he turned his head with terrified bloodshot eyes to look at both of your mothers, yours hunched over in a fit of screams and cries as his had her hands in her hair in utter disbelief and tears.
âfuck what do i do!â he sobbed, legs shakily standing as he slipped one arm under your back and the other under your knees, picking your limp body up as he saw a huge group of paramedics run over to him on the ice as he carried you over.
âhelpââ hic! âhâhelp me pleaseââ
why couldnât satoru be your hero when it mattered most?
several of them lowered the stretcher and took you from him, laying your lifeless self on it before hoisting you up and swiftly carrying you away, all of it horrifyingly and painfully similar to akiraâs inevitable death.
were you gone?
satoru looked down and saw your baby blue ribbons on the ice, wet and stained with blood, once perfect bows in your pretty hair when he had you awake and breathing.
were you breathing? had you hit your head?
he couldnât remember.
he couldnât remember anything but your unresponsiveness, the way your skin was colder than the ice itself as he picked up your ribbons and looked at them in his handsâ and the way your blood stretched over for what looked like miles and was still there.
in front of him. taunting him.
was the world so cruel as to take you too?
it wouldnât. it couldnât.
youâd never done anything wrong. youâd never treated anybody indifferently as you were sweet and beautiful and talented, always in servitude of othersâ in servitude of him as you taught him how to ice skate when you didnât need to at six years old, you already kind and gentle at that young age when you couldâve easily shooed him away like a little bug and told him to fuck off.
and throughout your life too, as he was well aware he was an annoying dramatic piece of shit that whined and cried and ate your stashes of sweets all of the timeâ but you always just giggling and looking at him with adoration in your eyes, with your cheeky smile, with the little ribbon bows in your hair he loved so fucking much.
oh how he wished he didnât always take your sweets at that moment. how he wished he wasnât always an annoying blockhead and made you mad at times with his persistent personality and neediness as he stood there frozen in the rink staring at your bloodâ dark now and dull, wishing it was him instead of you.
you were knocked out for five days at the hospital.
you and satoru also didnât make it into the top three at the international skating union competition.
you shouldâve, as your score was already higher than any other pair there and only halfway through the routine tooâ but thatâs precisely why you got knocked out.
if you had finished your number, you wouldâve landed in the top three, but it ending halfway cut off the opportunity for accumulating more points, and eventually another pair surpassed your halfway score by two points.
but satoru didnât give a shit. fuck the olympics and fuck the international skating union while your body laid still on the hospital bed for hours on end, him refusing to leave your side as he sat there and stared off into space with nothing in his head but hatred for himself as it was his fault that this happened and his blade that sliced youâ eyes red and sunken and tired and refusing to eat or drink.
you had hit your head on the ice, but thankfully the trauma wasnât anywhere near the severity of akiraâs, it only inducing a strong concussion and sending you flying out of consciousness upon impact.
but it was the loss of blood that was the problem.
you had lost so much, too much of it.
it made you weak and frail and unable to do much and satoru worried that thatâs what was going to take away your fighting chance of survival.
âyou should go home satoruâŠâ your mother sighed, standing by the door of your hospital room, her own eyes red and swollen.
he shook his head no silently.
âsheâll still be here⊠you need to eat something or sleep please. you look awful.â
satoru smiled weakly and shook his head again.
âmâfine.â
your mother pursed her lips to the side and she sighed again, nodding.
âiâll come by early in the morning, alright?â
he hummed, giving her a tiny wave as she left and closed the door behind her.
satoru had brought a roll of pink ribbon from your little white box in your room, unrolling the pieces he chose and lifting his hands, taking the ends of your hair and trying to tie little thin bows the way you always did, but huffing softly in irritation when they just looked like shit.
he undid the one he was working on and settled for feeling the material of the ribbon between his thumbs instead.
satoru brought you bouquets everyday too.
sometimes three at a time as he continuously swapped out old flowers and replaced them with new ones, changed their water and poured fresh quantities into each vase to keep them alive, and often picked some more from the hospital garden when he went down to get some fresh air for a minuteâ the least he could do for nearly killing you.
and satoru had a lot of time to think while he waited for you to wake upâ bitter and resentful at the world for letting him sit there healthy while you were out, so much so that he started thinking stupid shit like how he wished you wouldâve forgotten him and dismissed his yapping dreams about ice skating when you met so you wouldâve been an independent skater instead, so you then wouldnât have gotten hurt by his idiocy and you wouldnât be laying in a hospital bed like you were now.
or swapped places. him instead of you so he could beat up the fucks that took akira away and beat up zeus orâ or aphrodite or whoever the fuck that was responsible for keeping him from you so he could come back to you⊠unsure if you were doing the same thing as he stared at your resting face.
you shouldâve just left him behind.
but he was sleeping when you woke.
arms propped up and crossed next to you on the hospital bed, his cheek mushed up on them and face to the side as you blinked your eyes open and was straight up confused, not a single memory of the incident flitting through your mind⊠until it did.
and it hit you bad.
your mind reeled with a pounding headache, tears prickling your eyes at the events that plagued through your mindâ a part of you knowing there was absolutely no way you and satoru made top three and gutted about it, feeling shaken from the memory alone of you falling and hitting the ice.. but grateful.
grateful to be alive, for you knew akira wasnât as lucky.
was it because of her that you had lived? had she pulled some strings to change your fate?
your eyes trailed down to a sleeping peaceful satoru, your gaze softening at how tired and broken he looked, bags dark and purple as he snored away next to you, your hand lifting and delicately settling over his fluffy white hair as you smiled that he was here next to youâ caressing.
satoru shot up wide awake then as you jumped and retracted your hand, the both of you alarmed and frantic.
âbaby?â he grabbed your hand and felt around it, feeling warmth for once as he stood up straight and shoved back one of the sleeves of his hoodie.
âyouâre awake? are you actually?ââ he pinched his arm hard over and over and you giggled.
you giggledâ the sound filling his ears and lifting an undeniable dark ton off of his shoulders as he relaxed, tears automatically brimming his eyes.
âi thought i fucking killed you sweets.â his voice shook, arms gently coming around you and pulling you into an embrace.
âkilled me?â you frowned. âtoru what are you talking aboutââ
âoh god you have amnesiaââ
âno!â you laughed. âwhat do you mean by almost killed me? you didnât do anything.â
âi did everything.â he spoke flatly. âi fucked up that lasso lift. i pushed you up too hard and we fell. i cut you with my blade i made you bleedââ
âtoru that was an accident.â you pulled back and your chest hurt over the devastated look on his face, wiping his tears and kissing his nose. ârememberâ akiâs partner felt just like this and we had to tell him too it was an accident. you canât control something like that. at all. itâs just unfortunate circumstance.â
âi know but i still feel likeââ he wiped his eyes and swallowed. âi still feel like i couldâve done something different. it shouldâve been me and not you and i shouldâveââ
âtoru donât even donât think about things like that.â you shook your head. âthere wasnât anything you couldâve done, baby. and thatâs okay.â
you gently scooched over on the bed and patted the spot next to yours, satoru immediately climbing and settling in, clinging on to you as he placed his head on your chest with his arm firm but careful around your waist, suddenly feeling how exhausted he actually was from the days he spent restless.
you couldnât have imagined the pain satoru mustâve gone through waiting for you to wake up. you didnât know how he even fucking managed as you wouldâve been torn into bits and pieces not knowing if he was going to live or not, looking at his limp bloody body the way he had to look at yours and it reminding you of the event that brought you both the most trauma and grief.
you couldnât believe you almost went out the same way.
satoru confirmed your thoughts later and filled you in on the results of the international skating union competition, rubbing salt into the wound a little more upon learning that you landed fourth, nearly there as you couldnât help but cry a bit in your hospital bed when he told you that you couldâve had a spot, satoru hugging you and reassuring you that youâd both have your shot at it in the next four years.
your family was relieved that you were awake, tons of people piling in and giving you sweets and food that satoru hungrily eyed and gawked over, you laughing and passing him the ones he particularly enjoyed most as you conversed with your relatives.
and recovery was thankfully easyâ doctors orders being just you taking it light and being careful not to bonk your head against anything, as well as taking care of the laceration on your legâ changing the bandage frequently every morning and night, satoru insisting he help you with that and with many other things that you needed as he tried to make up for what he still thought was his fault.
two weeks had gone by of just rest and peace and no figure skating, thinking you and satoru deserved this break, but also secretly petrified of stepping on the ice again after what had happenedâ neither of you wanting to hurt the other as you avoided the topic of training for the meantime at all costs.
âmaybe we should work at a water park.â you suggested one day, the two of you seated on a park bench through the chilly mid january air as you shared a plate of chocolate drizzled strawberries you got from some nice lady and her fruit stand. âbe lifeguards!â
âoh hell no!â he spoke with his mouthful before swallowing, readjusting the black round sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. âyou think iâm gonna be fine with watching random old men savoring after my wife in her little red bikini while iâm off saving some drowning kid? oh no thank you. let the kid drown.â
âtoru!â you laughed, smacking his shoulder. âokay then what else?â
âjanitors.â
you shrugged. âi like to clean. sometimes.â
âand your entire body is covered in those jumpsuits no stinky old men looking atââ
satoruâs phone buzzed against his jeans and he paused and pulled it out as you giggled, him barely glancing at the caller i.d before answering.
âhello?â
you mindlessly carried on plopping strawberries in your mouth and chewing.
âthis is heâŠ. oh hello! yes! how are you?â
you eyed satoru quizzically at his sudden formal change in tone, his eyes glued to the cement below.
âuh huh⊠really? oâokay! no yes for sure! thank you so much for the opportunity!â
opportunity?
you slowed your chewing and nudged his shoulder gently, wanting him to give you some kind of sign as to who it was on the other line.
âokay, weâll keep in touch! thank you again!â
satoru slowly removed his phone away from his ear as the other line went dead, staring at his screen and you curiously leaning over only to see his call history log, a random number at the top.
âholy fuck.â
âwhat?!â you leaned in closer and tried to catch his eyes with yours, his shocked wide gaze slowly flittering to your face.
âthat was the national olympic committee.â
you froze.
âshut the fuck up.â you covered your mouth. âtoru what did they say what did they sayââ
âone of the pairs that made it in the top three got disqualified.â he spat out quickly, shooting up and digging his fingers into his hair as he walked back and forth slowly in disbelief, spinning to face you. âiâ i donât know why i didnât ask but we got bumped up.â
silence.
âweââ your chest rose and fell erratically, eyes darting around as satoru knelt down and grabbed your hands.
âbaby we made it.â he tightened his grip. âweâre competing in the olympicsââ
you squealed and jumped up and down and pulled satoru in, the both of you comically bouncing off the walls as you wailed and cried and blabbered on about how you couldnât believe it and how a chance like this was even given to you, satoru lifting you and spinning you around but stopping and freaking out and apologizing profusely over your injured leg, you shaking your head and laughing, kissing him in return.
âwe canât avoid skating toru.â you spoke once you and him had settled down. âitâs literally what brought us together⊠and what brought us to aki. and even from you spinning me around like that it reminded me how much i missed skating with you.â
âi feel the same sweets.â he smiled, big and bright and handsome as he leaned over and kissed your rosy cheek. âi miss lifting you up and catching a glimpse of your ass underneath yourââ
âtoru!â
even though you and satoru were finally on board and accepting of bringing skating back into your lives, it wasnât to say at all that the fear itself went away when you tried to do lifts or spins in the air with each otherâ apprehensive and scared as you practiced on the mats way more than necessary before moving choreography to the ice, satoru multiple times chickening out and needing a moment as he was petrified of hurting you again, and you glued in place at the thought of falling and slamming on the ground when you had just survived mostly unscathed.
but this wasnât the time to be afraid over that anymore, and if akira were here, you both knew sheâd smack you upside the heads and tell you to move⊠to get on the ice and do the sport you both loved and cherished most.
to finalize your dream and make it a reality.
and throughout the month that you and satoru spent before the commencement of the olympics, you trained like never beforeâ no excuses as you worked tirelessly day and night with sweat literally dripping from your faces until every single goal was met and beyond, until every single throw from satoru was perfected and until every axel from you was delivered.
sometime during this month too, satoru finally got to take you out on that romantic candle lit dinner like he promised and asked you to be his girlfriend, him giddy and grinning the whole time and literally spoiling the moment as he meant to give you a chocolate dessert plate that said âwill you be mineâ in chocolate syrupy letters, but accidentally eating it and smearing the words when he confused your plate with his, smacking his forehead repeatedly on the dining table as the silverware clatteredâ muttering about how dark it was and how he couldnât fucking see, but you laughing so fucking much and clutching your stomach that your makeup smudged up at the corner of your eyes.
satoru was reminded again how much he loved you that day, because anyone else wouldâve gotten tremendously annoyed and called him an idiot, but youâŠ
you just giggled. giggled and hiccuped like always while he stared at you softly.
the love you and satoru shared stretched far beyond the concepts of what a platonic and romantic relationship was.
the love you and satoru shared was sacrifice. genuine sacrifice and yearn and absolute unadulterated love as you both without another thought would drop your careers for each other, would swap places if it meant the other would be safe from harmâs way, and would endure years of swallowing and pushing back feelings if it meant just keeping one another in your lives forever.
because thatâs what birds of a feather was for to begin with.
a promise to stick together. a promise to keep each other safe.
a concept so pure and devoted that it translated onto the ice like no other pair when it came time for the olympics.
âyou ready sweets?â satoru breathed out as you both stood in front of each other by the outside of the rink with interlaced fingers, shaking each otherâs jitters out. âno matter what happens, weâve already come so far and done so much, okay? weâve done what we needed to do.â
âmhm!â you quickly nodded, satoru leaning down before you both rested your foreheads against each otherâs with massive smiles on your faces, thunderous cheers echoing throughout the giant arena totally drowned out in your ears as you stared into satoruâs sparkling blue eyes.
âmake aki proud.â you repeated softly, and he nodded, you hoping once again she was watching over you both.
you both stuck your pinkies out at the same time and looped them together.
âbirds of a feather?â satoru beamed.
âbirds of a feather.â
and you kissed your thumbs before sealing your promise.
you both watched the pair that you were going right after perform their routine, beautiful and difficult as you gnawed at your bottom lip in distress.
âtoruâŠâ
âyeah baby?â
âsome of these pairs are crazy goodâŠâ you spoke over the music. âiâd honestly be happy with getting in the top twenty i donât know if we canââ
satoru scoffed and shook his head, a sly smile as he looked over the rink with his arms crossed.
ânah, weâd win.â
and just like akira had done in her final olympic yearâ in her final moments, you and satoru made it known that it was your debut, that you had been hungry and desperate for this moment since the ages of six and seven, that youâd been raised and trained by a four-time olympic gold medalist for a decade as you executed the most technical and intricate moves and turns, you and satoru moving as one on the ice and identical as he took your hands and glided on the ice with you, raw emotion in your expressions that read love so clearly that it was impossible to miss.
with each lift, with each time satoru took you in his arms and spun, and with each time he simply held you close and tenderly to his chest as his blades scrapped across the ice with your pretty bows in his viewâ were all reminders for the two of you that partner figure skating was nothing without satoru and nothing without you.
the privilege of having another way to convey just how much you loved each other through the language of artistic expression and skates and ice, through the feel of each otherâs skin, was one you nurtured and looked after and loved as the wind whipped through you and satoru due to the speed of your skates, performing quadruple axels like nothing while dropping the jaws of other figure skating pairs.
and because of this fact alone, how you both truly appreciated each otherâs entities and had the indescribable power to correlate that into competitive sportâ
was the reason why you and satoru won gold that day.
you and him, on your knees, gripping and hugging one another so hard and crying tears of joy as you both had come so far and gone through so much to get to where you were now, your dream now a complete and total reality as you stepped up onto that podium during the medal award ceremony just like akira had doneâ representing your country excellently with a big fat gold medal hung over your necks and a big fat kiss from satoru as he lip locked with you up there, flashings of cameras and bouquets and teddy bears scattered all throughout the ice in dismay.
âi love you!â satoru yelled to you over the roaring as you waved at the crowd, your mothers crying and blowing their noses and taking pictures from the edge of the rink as you and satoru cackled and pointed at them.
âi love you, toru!â
âno like seriously!â he put his waving hand down. âi wouldnât be here if it wasnât for you. thank you for recognizing that i have love and dreams too baby and for not forgetting about me even when iâve been the most annoying dipshit of your life.â
âyouâve never been that to me my god toru! where is this coming from?â he hopped off the podium once you two were given the all clear and he held a helping hand out for you to take, you doing so and carefully stepping down.
âreeaally?â he cheesed, cheeky and silly as his big pearly white smile made your cheeks flush. âso you love me then?â
âi literally would not be with you if i didnâtââ
âhooray!â he cheered, throwing his arms up as flower petals flew from his bouquets and around. âmy girlfriend loves me! and weâre gonna have rough passionate olympian sex in our hotel roomââ
âtoru!ââ
the love you and satoru shared wasnât something silly like âi like you, you like me.â
it was call me when you get home.
have you eaten yet?
here, let me help you.
whatever you need.
yours and satoruâs souls were exactly the sameâ blended, intertwined, and stubbornly knotted together as no amount of tug and pull could unravel you both apart, satoru finding over the years that loving you was like muscle memory from the moment he met you, his nerves and reflexes gravitating him towards you on the ice that first time even when he knew there was a huge chance of him slipping and falling, but not being afraid of it at all as long as he just got to you, convinced he knew you in another life as you just felt so familiar the moment he saw your pretty little face.
and youâre so glad that he did get to you⊠that he stayed with you.
fourteen years of ice cream trips and sleepovers and horror movies from the moment you were teeny tiny babies to adults, experiencing the hardships of your teenage years of loss and grief, to then adulthood and college as you had the privilege of learning to navigate it with another being that was just like you, two little birds with no sense of direction other than to each other.
and it was all thanks to one woman and one woman alone.
âi honestly believe that if she was there, she wouldâve brought one of those confetti poppers with dye in it and set it off.â you commented, you and satoru sitting on the grass at her grave site as you leaned your head on his shoulder and his head on top of yours, having literally just come off the plane from being at the olympicsâ your countries olympic button up thick jackets adorning your figures as your gold medals gleamed radiantly against the sun.
âi wish she was there.â satoru hummed, and you nodded softly in agreement.
âme too⊠but iâm sure she was! as a little birdie.â
he chuckled, finding your hand and interlacing your fingers as you stared at her tombstone like youâd done so many times before already⊠except this time it was bittersweet, you having accomplished what the three of you had strived so hard for at last.
âi miss her.â you murmured. âi miss her cussing.â
your eyes flickered down to her peace offerings, the little snow angel trinket you had gotten her still pretty and glossy and her as it sat happily on her stone platform.
satoru picked his head up and kissed the top of your head, propping his chin up on it.
âi miss her too baby.â he responded softly. âeveryday.â
âbutâ i canât thank her enough for giving us the bullets to fire with for skating.. yâknow..â you ran the pad of your index finger along her tombstone, rough and scratchy as you traced little hearts along the edges.
âand she brought us closer together, did she not?â satoru pointed out.
she did.
a woman who was clumsy and loud and erratic with the biggest potty mouth you had ever heard that was passed down to you and satoru in the blink of an eye⊠but man did she know what love was as she taught it to you and reminded you both of exactly what it was each and every day.
you and satoru had accepted the fact that your hearts would never be whole again, for akira had taken half of them elsewhere and into the depths of the unknown.
but you were okay with that. completely and utterly okay with that.
for love had no limits.
you wanted her to keep it, as you and satoru stitched the remaining halves of your hearts together to create a new whole, as there was no one else you both would rather have that part of you with them forever besides akira.
and yours and satoruâs stitched up hearts grew increasingly bigger and fonder even after a couple of years later, even after winning three more olympic gold medals, you and him back at the same place in front of akiraâs grave like always, sitting and laughing and chattingâ but with two little baby toddlers that were half of you and half of satoru as they blubbered on about âmama akiâ and her trophies, a delicate twinkling ring on your finger and a golden band around satoruâs as your little family had a picnic over her final resting place.
âpapa!â your son exclaimed, satoru immediately turning his attention to him in the midst of scarfing down a turkey sandwich.
âyes my offspring?â
you playfully glared at your husband.
âwhy do your eyes look scarier in the day?â
âHAH!â you slapped a hand over your mouth to hush your cackling, satoruâs face absolutely taken aback and offended.
âthey do!â your daughter giggled. âthey do! they do!ââ
âbaby do something!â satoru whined, shoulders slumping as he threw his head back. âiâm being bullied by five year oldâs!â
you giggled and kissed his cheek, his pout quickly turning into a soft little grin as his face flushed pink.
âbut your papaâs eyes are pretty you guys! and they match yours!â
âmmmâ nope! scary!â
your two twin toddlers giggled uncontrollably as they thought being mean to their dad was the funniest thing in the world, you laughing with them as satoru flopped back dramatically and completely laid down on the grass with his eyes looking straight up at the bright sky.
âsâokay.â he spoke flatly. âif even my pretty little wife thinks my suffering is funny iâll just burn my eyes to a crispââ
âtoru!â you slapped his knee. âtoo graphic in front of the kiddies.â
âbut my suffering!ââ
âmommy mommy!â your daughter tugged at your sleeve and pointed to the top of akiraâs tombstone, a cute perfect white and brown bird perched up on the edge and peering curiously at the four of you, the creature not alarmed whatsoever of your childrenâs sudden movements as they scrambled to get closer to it.
satoru propped himself up with an elbow and stared before you both locked eyes, knowing growing smiles on your faces as he fully sat upâ leaning and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting it linger.
aki.
and it was like you and satoru were reminded again of your promise that you still told each other every day.
a promise that consisted of your years together⊠of your love, of your undying fervor of sticking together, of your need of keeping each other safeâŠ
of birds of a feather.
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
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#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yuta okkotsu#gojo satoru#jjk fanfic#jjk x you#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fluff#gojo x you#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#jjk satoru#nanami kento#jjk megumi#megumi fushiguro#choso kamo#toji fushiguro#jjk yuta#okkotsu yuuta#megumi fluff#megumi x you#nanami kento x reader#choso x reader#yuji itadori
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PAST LIFEâ
dofp!logan howlett x mutant fem!reader
cw:fingering, cursing, dirty talk, mentions of motherhood, fluff
masterlist
logan should've known when he accepted the mission to come go back in time to stop the sentinels that you would still be here.
"is there an issue here, hank?"
the sound of your voice made logan's heart flutter. you were barely peaking out from behind the door but logan could see you just fine. he couldn't stop staring.
"no, everything's fine." hank assured you. just as you turned to return to charles's office, you heard the door burst open. this handsome stranger hits hank right in the nose before continuing up the stairs to you.
logan had to take you in for a second. his beautiful future wife stood in front of him and had absolutely no clue that they were married because she was only twenty-five years old.
had you always been this gorgeous? was that even fair? all of these were questions that floated around in his mind.
"who are you and what do you want?" you asked as he reached out to touch you.
"so you've always been this beautiful, huh, princess?" he purred, tucking away a piece of your hair behind your ear.
sure, he was attractive in his brown leather jacket and sunglasses but this man looked in his mid-forties. logan was too busy staring down at your frilly yellow babydoll dress to notice where you were looking at him. his left hand; more specifically the gold band on his ring finger.
"i don't mess with married men." you glare at him. he can't help but chuckle darkly down at your innocence.
"oh, my wife wouldn't mind."
god, logan felt like such a pervert for coming on to you but he couldn't help it. your ethereal beauty was unreal. not that you have aged much since the present day, as you two have the slow aging processes in common. older hank would always tell logan that he should be lucky that you agreed to date him because there were plenty of people who would love to take his place. sure, logan believed him but now, he really understood what hank meant.
"where's charles at, sweetheart?" logan asks, inhaling your floral sent.
before you can respond, charles comes barreling down the stairs drunkenly calling after you.
"where've you been?" he asked you then turned to logan. "who the hell are you?"
this should be good.
°ââ.àłàż*:
"how do we know that you're actually from the future?" you asked, sitting atop charles desks, swinging your legs. hank and charles stood outside in the hallway discussing whether or not to trust logan.
"you've always been this stubborn?" logan says under his breath, rolling his eyes.
"how do we even know each other in the future?" you finally asked.
for the past hour, this man has tried to sell this absurd story about how future charles and magneto sent him here together to save mutants from sentinels. so far he's managed to convince charles but hank and you were still on the fence.
"we're married, sweetheart." logan smirks wickedly.
there was absolutely no way that you two were married. this man is grumpy, mean-looking, and wears dark brown leather. you are an academic scholar who adores pastels and helping other mutants. he had to have you mistaken.
you squint up at him and laugh, "we are married?"
logan nods, walking over to you until he's standing between your legs.
"tell me something only i would know then."
"your favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry, you hate the cold and winter, anytime you drink coffee you get nightmares, your favorite color is green, but your favorite shade is the color my eyes get when i look at you." logan could see the way your eyes widen, slowly starting to believe him more and more. he couldn't help but feel cocky. "would you like me to continue?"
"im not sure... think you're gonna have to prove it. another way." you challenge him. logan's hand trails up your thigh, playing with the soft yellow material.
"c'mon sweetheart, this is too easy." he mutters against your neck, placing soft kisses and nibbling on the skin.
logan knew you like the back of his hand. he knew exactly what you liked and disliked. sometimes you would even tell him that he knew you better than you knew yourself.
"you like when i pull your bottom lip when we kiss. you blush every time i offer for you to sit on my face. one of your favorite ways to fuck is pressed up against a wall or bent over a table..." logan could go on and on.
"we do that...?" you whisper embarrassed by this version of yourself, trying to avoid his burning gaze.
"oh, all the time. sometimes you pull me down on the floor when i come home, begging to ride me right then and there." logan says, once he captures your attention again. you chew on your bottom lip adorably.
a small whimper passes your lips before you remember that hank and charles aren't that far away from the room. one of your hands comes up to logan's chest, slightly pushing him back despite not wanting to.
"w-we should stop." you warn him. "they can hear us."
this was when logan knew that you hadn't discovered part of your mutation yet. he had already assumed that you hadn't but this confirmed it.
"need you to relax, princess," he says, moving higher up to your jaw. your body betrays everything your mouth says, eating out of the palm of his hand. "i promise once you relax, it'll feel like time has stopped."
logan's lips taunt yours; not quite giving you what you want. fed up, you overpower him and push his lips into yours. the only word floating around in your head was 'relax'.
carefully, logan lays you back on the desk. something about being held in the stranger's arms set you at ease; maybe he was your husband?
"you don't know this yet..." logan huffs. "but you can stop time."
you scoff, thinking that you caught him in a lie. "no, i can't."
"if you relax like i said, then you can." logan mutters against your collarbone.
one of his hands slides up your thigh while the other rubs circles on your hip bone. was this wrong of you? if he is telling the truth âand it seems like he isâ then technically he is your husband and it's not wrong to mess around with your husband.
"open up for me, babydoll." logan mumbled against your collarbones, placing wet kisses and nibbling on the delicate skin.
your legs spread with ease as his callused fingers rub over your cotton panties. the soft material of your dress is bunched at your tummy as he tugs your panties off, pocketing them for himself. his thumb returns to rub your button.
"p-please..." you whimper, looking up at logan with bambi eyes. "need more."
"anything for you, princess." he groans, slipping two fingers inside of you as gently as he can. this earned a loud moan from you when he nudged that spot deep in your gummy walls with ease.
"see how well i know my wife?" logan gloats, pressing soft kisses to your lips but never letting you catch him. "you usually prefer it rougher than this but i'm not cruel."
"y-you can go... can go faster." you pant, never having anything quite his size yet.
"i don't want to hurt you, baby." he says in a condescending tone. "wanna know something 'bout the future?"
it was difficult but you managed to nod your head despite how clearly fucked out you were at this point.
"a couple weeks ago, you came home telling me how much you want to be a mom; how you've always wanted to be a mom." he pulls back to look at your pretty face, lust darkening your eyes and slick pouring out of you, practically dripping down his palm onto the desk. "so, every chance we get alone you've been begging for me to go raw inside of you."
logan loved how even as you're all spread out for him, you're still blushing at his filthy words.
"look at you, blushing while you soak my hand." he mocks with a smirk.
"i'm s-so close, please!" you beg so politely.
his thick fingers pick up the pace as you clench down on them; jaw dropped and head thrown back. logan's other hand supports your back while your cute painted blue nails dig into his wrist as your climax starts to wash over you.
"hey sweetheart, look out the window." he chuckles, moving your chin to stare hazily out the glass window.
you couldn't believe it. every car, bird, street light, everything was stopped. everything but you and logan.
"how did you know that i could...?"
"you can't always control it but when you calm your mind, it's easier for you to do it."
"does it always happen when we...?"
"when we have sex...?" logan chuckles as you hide yourself in his chest. you nod. "no. over time you've found ways to control it. sometimes if we need more time, you might manipulate it."
"future me sounds cool." you giggle, lifting up to look at him. "how do we meet?"
"i can't tell you that." he smiles.
"well, then where are you in this timeline? how can i meet you sooner?"
"i'm not a very good man during this time, baby. you'll meet me when the time is right."
"what if you don't want me then? how do you know we will still get together?"
logan looks down at your pouty lips, swiping his thumb across it.
"i'll always come back for you. no matter the timeline or where we are in life; i'll find you again."
"promise?"
"i promise you, sweetheart. don't worry that beautiful mind of yours." he assures, kissing the tear strolling down your cheek.
logan reaches down and kisses you tenderly, pulling you out of the time freeze. suddenly the door swings open on the two of you. thank god, logan had quick reflexes, pulling your dress back down to cover you.
charles calls your name and then asks, "what are you doing?"
"it's okay, he's my husband."
a loud laugh escapes logan at your lovey-dovey tone, almost making hank and charles eyes fall out of their heads. you couldn't wait to meet logan again in the future.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#james logan howlett#logan howlett smut#hugh jackman wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine angst#wolverine smut#logan howlett angst#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#old man logan#old man!logan#old man logan x reader#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#wolverine#hugh jackman#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu#logan howlett x oc#wolverine x you#x men comics
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BETTER EYES PROJECT
So. Why is it "better"? Not because one day I woke up thinking that I was painting the best eyes in the world, ha-ha. This is because any texture drawn for this mesh will look better in the game than the texture drawn for the base game due to the creation technology. That's all. I don't declare my designs the best or anything.
A little bit about how I came up with the idea of creating this project. I've been upset for a long time because the eyes in the game look much worse than in the original because of the way the game compresses the texture. And I decided to improve it the way I can!
Does not slow down the functioning of the game. Do not conflict with anything. But the heterochromia option, as always, conflicts with bracelets.
All items are available in the "details" categories, so you don't have to choose it separately for each outfit.
EYES N1 and EYES N1 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
70 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N2 and EYES N2 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
80 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N3 and EYES N3 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
105 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
EYES N4 and EYES N4 HETEROCHROMIA
made with new technology!
4 types of every file (TEEN-ELDERS, CHILDREN, TODDLERS, INFANTS);
90 colors;
"game emotions" friendly sclera.
DARK SCLERA and DARK SCLERA FOR HETEROCHROMIA
5 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
for all genders and all ages.
WHITE SCLERA and WHITE SCLERA FOR HETEROCHROMIA
15 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
for all genders and all ages.
EYE SHADOW and EYE SHADOW FOR HETEROCHROMIA
10 swatches;
works only with eyes from "BETTER EYES PROJECT";
can be combined with sclera;
for all genders and all ages.
â DO NOT: re-upload my CC, claim my CC as your own, use as a base/part for your CC!
â
In my game I use BETTER IN-GAME LIGHTING MOD v1.1 and GENTLE CAS LIGHTING MOD!
MORE INFO AND DOWNLOAD
Any likes and reblogs is honestly appreciated! đ©·
Thank you for supporting the development process!
#sims 4 cc#s4cc#ts4cc#s4cc maxis match#s4 maxis match#sims 4 maxis cc#ts4 mm cc#s4 mm cc#s4mm#ts4 genetics#ts4cc female#ts4cc male#ts4mm#s4cc finds#s4ccfinds#cc finds
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â DARLINâ CAN I BE YOUR FAVORITE ? ,
᥎êȘ«â sum. if you knew youâd be sandwiched between two of your dadâs colleagues, youâdâactually letâs not finish that sentence. turns out you get walked in on by shiu kong, tojiâs best friend whoâs also your ex boyfriend. awkwardâŠ
wc. 6.5k
warnings. fem! reader, toji & shiu kong, threeĆome, age gap + (reader's over twenty), unprotected, shiu walks in on you and toji, size kink, cowgirl dp, sucking toji's nipples, praise, degradation, shotgunning, double penn, overstim, spit, squĂrting, spanking, face-fucking, cunnĂŹllingus.
dbf! toji masterlist.
oh, everything felt like a fever dreamâŠ
one of those dreams that was so good that you just never wanted to wake up fromâyeah, those ones. itâs been quite some time since your little fling with your fatherâs best friend took off, as if youâd even call it a 'fling' anymore. perhaps you were getting a bit too attached. maybe he was too, the both of you ended up screwing around literally any chance you got. so secretive, youâd almost gotten caught when your panties were found that one time. thankfully, toji came up with some bullshit excuse that was surprisingly believed.Â
he had a single taste of you, just a taste and he was whipped. addicted just like that. it was a sunday evening, pretty quiet and you were currently drying yourself off from the shower. toji came out right after you, and he lifted you, pressing a sweet wet kiss near the corner of your lips. âmhm. how much time do we have, baby?â
âlike an hour,â youâd mumble, your legs swiftly locking around his slim waist. tojiâs kisses were always so sloppy and rough, a faint touch of passion trodding underneath before his hand found its way near your ass again. a towel wrapped around his waist, another wrapped around your torso, so wet. âi think heâs still out.â
âso i have ya all to myself again,â he rasps, leading you towards the bed, his warm lips coat a plethora of steamy kisses all down your collarbone before placing you down. âperfect.â
although, perhaps it wasnât as perfect as toji initially thought. because who knew youâd get walked in onâagain? not by your father thankfully, but shiu kong, tojiâs long-time best friend, and no one other than your one and only ex-boyfriend.
shit.
you moan, feeling him lie you back down towards the mattress. toji stares at you, such an appetizing stare. he was feral, feral for you.
the two of you had been going at it for hours just moments ago in the showerâyet he wasnât exactly finished with you. toji had stamina equivalent to a hefty stallion, he showed no signs of fatigue whatsoever.
your eyes peer at his body, his perfectly sculpted hardened pecsâ he was a statue, his entire frame had you soaked. momentarily, he then starts to slowly peel your towel off. heâs slow, basking in your beauty, seeing your body was a sight he doesnât think heâd ever get used to.
âdamn. look at this perfect fuckinâ body,â he huffs out, taking in every sight of you. every curve, every angle . .
you felt your heart throb for a moment before he leans in to plant a multitude of chaste kisses near your tummy. toji then lolls his tongue out briefly, creating a wet trail to lick way down between your legs. âmessy girl. âs still running down yâer thighs.â
âclean it off me then.â youâd tease him, parting your legs ever further for him.Â
toji tsks, kissing his teeth before brushing a thumb between the slit of your folds. so damp, so swollen . . . swollen just from a few moments ago.
you watch as he gets on the bed, it sinks down a tad bit from his weight â a springing noise commences in the process. he decides to be a mere tease and blows against your pussy. near the very entrance part. the moment he watches you twitch as a response, he snickers. âooooh. someoneâs eager. look at how ya respond from just a little blow, baby.â
ât âŠ. toji,â youâd choke out, grabbing onto the ruffled slightly wet strands of his hair. âhurry up ân just finish.â
ânah. girl. what i tell ya âbout rushing me?â he grouses, and his abrupt switch of attitude made you throb.
you whimper once you watch him graze a thumb down your sopping cunt. your body was still immensely wet from the shower, he brings a single kiss towards your folds before lapping up the remnants of your syrupy flavor. ânow shut the fuck up ân let me enjoy my mealââ
the entire atmosphere gets indecorously ruined once your door opens, and the familiar person standing there is the last person youâd expect to meet eyes with.
ââŠâŠ.oh my,â a low rasp escapes from his mouth, and you sit up as well as does toji. there stood shiu kong, in nothing but his usual attractive business attire. his hands were deeply buried into the fronts of his pockets, and a typical lit cigarette stuck out of his mouth. âfushigurooo?â
â⊠shiu?â youâd mutter, and toji glances at you.Â
âpsh. donât tell me you two know each other,â toji dramatically rolls his eyes, getting up to close your sprawled out legs for him. your mouth suddenly felt dry and shiu stares at you with the most blank, unreadable expression.
you awkwardly squeeze your thighs together. âuh, sorta.â
âsortaâŠ? sorta?â shiu replies, and heâs amused. you lowly grumble to yourself, finding this entire situation crazily awkward. better yet, howâd he evenâyou had too many unanswered questions. âaw. now doll, donât try âta be all smug in front of this cheap bastard. she means to say, we used to be a thing.â
toji grows quiet before, clicking his tongue out of sheer annoyance before scoffing. âyouâre joking.â
the entire room felt so hot, you had the most dumbest expression on your face the entire time.
talk about timing . . seems like the universe was never on your side.
your ex-boyfriend and the guy you were currently messing around with in the same room? only to discover that they had history also. talk about a small fucking world. you clear your throat, shielding your body with a cover before mutterng. â...shiu, why are youââ
âdid ya forget, doll? iâm your dadâs handler,â shiu says with a mere bland tone. he shifts his weight before pulling his hands out his pockets. his posture was straight and he fixes his collar. the band of his watch glimmers in the light, so flashy.
god, he was so sexyâŠ
forevermore with a cigarette sticking between his pink lips, his gaze that he gave you was so intimate. hooded eyes that you always got lost in, you could never forget shiu. âtold your father i had to use the menâs room, only to find out youâre getting all nasty for this bum,â and then he smirks. âwoah. toji you grew two inches.â
you were smart enough to know shiu was talking about tojiâs height..
ââŠdoll,â toji repeats with a mocking sneer, ignoring his little comment.
perhaps you were a bit delusional, but judging from tojiâs tone he sounds⊠jealous? âstill canât believe you dated this guy,â he yawns, sitting up to strech before glancing at you. âwhoâs better in bed?â
â...huh?â you murmur, not expecting a question as such as that. again, the entire room felt thick of hot tensed air. you squeezed your thighs shut before realizing both of them were giving you the same intrigued stare. they favored each other if you squinted.
mayhaps your type was quite obvious. older guys with dark hair, tall and buff ⊠the list continues to go on and on. âum, probablyââ
âgirl, donât answer that.â toji grumbles, immediately cutting you off from speaking any further.Â
shiu snickers, making himself comfortable by sitting between the both of you. âawh. mad that she was gonna say me, toji toji?â
âcall me that again ân youâll be six feet under, shiu.â he stares at him, and you nearly gasp once you feel toji softly place his hand down near your thigh. his touch . . . it never failed to make you practically weak in the knees.Â
you feel yourself growing more hot the more toji gingerly skims a thum between your squeezed thighs before you speak, âso you two know each other?â
âyeahh, we fuck on the low.â shiu shrugs, and that makes the tips of tojiâs ears boil. the difference between toji and shiu was somewhat cute yet humorous. toji was more laid back and stern whilst shiu was more playful and perhaps even a little dominant. âtoji would never admit it though.â
ââŠ..weâre just close friends,â toji bleats, and a near cute pout tugs on his lips. heâs still holding onto your thigh, yet it starts to go higher and you had to restrain yourself from moaning. âhe works for me too or whatever,â and thatâs when toji leans in close to you, scudding a thumb near your chin. âenough about him though.â
firmly, toji grips your chin before closing the remaining distance with a kiss. a rough kiss. you already lost whatever composure you had left, moaning right into his mouth the moment his lips mashed against yours. minty, he always had such a sweet candied flavor to him.
toji groans himself, feeling your tongue swiftly glide against his, giving it a brief suck.
the way you were somehwat of a . . . sloppy kisser so to speak, he always found it so cute. you breathe through your nose, warm jagged breaths colliding amongst each other before suddenly youâre pulled away abruptly.Â
your peripherals spot shiu lingering near the corner of you. you turn while he holds your chin now, removing his cigarette before whispering in a low, âmmm. may i get a taste too, doll?â
âyâyes,â you mutter immensely, and you donât even realize how fast you said it before shiu swipes a thumb against your bottom lip. so shiny, heâs missed your lipsâhe remembers how you taste, it was saved all the way in the back of his mind. he stares at you for a long while, a quite stern yet relaxed expression.
ânow now, open that mouth for me,â he whispers, and you listen without even questioning. âjust like that, goooood girl . .â
toji watches the two of you. heâs got the biggest scowl on his face and its adorable.
itâs not like you two were a thing or anything, but he wasnât fond of sharing his new favorite girl.
once you part your spit-glossed lips, shiu blows a nice amount of smoke into your mouth. a decent sum of smoke. you moan, wanting him to kiss you and after long seconds later, he finally does. shiuâs kisses were more sincere and passionate. it was as if he was waiting to kiss you again for ages, it felt natural. you couldnât lie to yourself, you missed shiu . . a lot more than you wanted to admit probably. nothing relatively bad caused the two of you to break up. the two of you just separate and decided to be just friends, but did friends kiss the way you and him were doing?Â
probably⊠not.
a concoction of your own saliva concisely mixes with his, and you can still taste the rough scented smoke on his tongue. you feel yourself throb, grazing your tongue near his before toji pulls you off.
âokay thatâs enough,â toji growls, and then you watch as he wipes your lips. you could tell he wanted more of you, and not like toji would ever admit it, but . . seeing you kiss shiu turned him on a little. âtell me,â he says, and his thumb runs across near your chin. he was so close to your lips, nearly inches apart from kissing you again. âwho do you want more? me or that idiot?â
you keek at the two of them, both exchanging the same lust filled gaze before you hum, merely out of breath. âiâ i want both..â
âgreedy girl,â shiu snickers, moving a few strands of hair away from your face. shiuâs right beside you before he makes you sit right on his lap. you hear toji grumble before he starts to peel the cover that was shielding the top half of your body off. âi bet youâre still a mess from toji, huh,â and he gently reaches in between your legs to rub against your slick entrance. you moan, feeling shiu drag two fingers inside. he feels the residuum of tojiâs cum that filled you to the brim, merely leaking all out before he chortles. âmy, what a dirty girl. howâs it feel when i do . . this?â
you mewl out another whimper, feeling him curl his fingers further inside before shiu runs it against your swollen slit. âgâgood,â and then you stare at toji whoâs got the cutest jealous scowl. âtoji . . kiss me.â
âdonât fuckinâ tell me what to do,â toji carps, and he cups your face, kissing you anyway. you lean into his embrace, and thatâs when you feel shiuâs knee propped up right underneath youâright between your precious thighs.
you moan, your body moving rhythmically before sooner than you knew it, you were riding shiuâs thigh, you hear shiu cackle, a hand teasingly sliding up your frame. he bounces his thigh and a tiny squeal leaves past your lips as tojiâs tongue roughly swipes against yours. you felt so hot, being felt by two menâtwo men that wanted you just as bad as you wanted them. the friction, it had you whimpering all inside tojiâs mouth, you couldnât stay still and they both found it adorable.
âso eager,â shiu murmurs, a hand squeezing against your hip. his roughly textured fingers always felt soft on you, you remembered his touch like it never left your body.
(mainly because it didnât, it never didâŠ)
you were still a bit damp from your shower, nearly dried off when shiu leans in to kiss near your neck. âtoji doesnât deserve a pretty girl like you,â he whispers, taking a fleeting pause between each pull away he makes. âjusâ look at how yâer riding my thigh right now, doll. you missed this, missed me.â
toji turns your head to focus strictly on him now, deepening the passionate kiss before he bites gingerly near your bottom lip. you moan, your arms slinging around his neck before he eventually breaks away.
âshut up, shiu,â he scoffs before a hand trails down towards your ass, he gives it a firm squeeze before spanking it. âyou want both of us, princess? ân look at me when you answer.â
the entire room felt clouded with heat â the tension, you could feel it from a mile away. you were pulsing, yet you were most likely sure it wasnât your heart but instead right between your legs. you stare into tojiâs eyes, murmuring out a sweet, âyes, i want you both,â and tojiâs thumb continues to run against your lower lip. he teasingly pulls it down, darkened eyes flickering towards your mouth before you moan. âplease...â
âsuch good manners for a good girl,â shiu utters, and he continues to twitch his thigh against your legs. you were still insanely sensitive thanks to toji earlier, feeling his hand rub right near the inner part of your thigh. the way his pants against your leg creates so much friction, you started to spasmâit was that easy. âi bet i can make you finish quicker than toji ever could.â
âoh please. is that a challenge?â toji gruffs, and he suddenly makes you lie flat on your back.
you swore things like this only happened in the moviesâbeing shared between two hot men, coincidentally enough, you had some sort of history with the both of them. more-so shiu, toji was just a mere fling, nothing more . . or was it? âdonât get so cocky. i last longer than you anyways.â
âyeah? and how would you know?â shiu snickers, placing his cigarette back between his lips.
â . . . . â
their banter was so annoying yet it was practically laughable. you eye as they both sat over you, shiu makes you suddenly sit up before youâre laid flat on all fours. your palms dig into the silk cushioned sheets and tojiâs right in front of you. âpretty girl,â he huffs out in a rough voice, grabbing ahold of your chin. âstick out that tongue ân say ah for me, baby.â
you comply with ease, slowly rolling out your tongue and toji groans.
always so obedient, you watch as he removes his own shower towel before being met with his hefty shaft. you could never get used to the sight, despite how feral he had you just moments ago.
âyâer pretty but youâd look even prettier with this bratty mouth stuffed all full,â he grumbles through gritted teeth. you moan, feeling as toji rubs and smears his fat tip against your lips. he then smacks against your tongue and you moan, oh so desperate for him to hurry. the way your tongue tried to sneak a lick but couldnât due to the movements, cuteâŠ
tojiâs tip was dashingly pretty, swollen with a pearly pink tip. he had a few specks of black hair near his base, the carpet most certainly matched the drapes. your tongue strums against the head before he grips a handful of your hair strands. a brief yank that makes you slightly jolt forward earns a sweetened moans from you.
âtojiâs made such a mess out of you, huh,â shiu says from behind you, and you gasp once you feel him bring a kiss towards your ass. his kisses were sweet and gentle, he brings a single sharp spank to your ass simply to watch the recoil jitter right before his eyes and he grins. âmhm. missed this ass. look at how happy she is to see me again.â
your back arch you had going on was immaculate, hands propped into the fat sheets of the bedâyour eyes remained focused on toji the entire time, slowly but surely lapping up the remaining sprinkles of pre that coat his tip near his frenulum. his most weak spotâŠ
you made sure to take your time, purely savoring his sweet yet bitter taste. he groans, pulling your head forward just a second before you whine once you feel shiuâs tongue run against your soaked entrance.
âaw. toji got ya all soaked already? damn shame,â shiu grits, and your eyes suddenly droop out of pure pleasure the moment he delves his tongue right between your slit. you couldnât lie, you missed his long tongueâso long, it reached many many places.
his technique was always killer, a bit different than toji. he preferred eating you from the back, the tip of his hooked nose prods everywhere, getting damper and damper in the process. he removes his cigarette of course before he dives in, and you could barely concentrate. you couldnât process anything in that small brain of yours. it was merely impossible.
âeyes up here, girl,â toji reminds you in a rough pitched voice, bringing your head to face him once more. you felt the sensation brew and brew, nerves forevermore pulsing through your veins. your mouth was full, tojiâs cock was so fat that strands of your own spit starts to seep out near the corners of your lips. pouring down like a waterfall, you were a drenched mess.
and he loved it.
âoh fuckinâ shit, how âbout that? yâer drooling for me,â he scoffs, bringing a thumb to wipe it all away. âsuch a mess,â and then he slowly thrusts his hips into your mouth, making you cling onto his beefy thighs. âsuch . . a . . fuckinâ . . messsss,â heâd coo gruffly between thrusts. you could savor his taste forever, such thick balls reaching to the very back of your throat. âhowâs it taste. the meal okay?â
it was a mere joke, he knew you couldnât physically reply due to your throat being blocked with such bulky inches of dick, but you nod.
âyeah? yeah. best meal youâve ever fuckinâ had. donât forget it.â
you whine, feeling shiuâs tongue resume against your clit. he knew just where to go, to pivot and slither his tongue past all the right spots. heâs always been a sloppy eater, occasionally breaking away to spit right onto your swollen folds. it was his favorite part. spitting on your cunt only to clean it up happily with his tongue.
âsheâs so pretty,â he sighs, and then thatâs when he blows on your pussyâstraight on it. your eyes start to roll back, it was dramatic, reallyâŠ
âget her niiiiice ân wet. i know toji always fails at that part,â shiu jibes, and that earns a vexed glare from toji. you tremble within him, his tongue being practically no match for you. you part your lips, nearly gagging once toji reaches way past near the roof of your mouth. âooooh. that spot, baby?â he purrs in a seductive voice, watching his own spit trickle right in between your puffed folds. it was a sight to witness, glistening spit making your entire clit sheeny.
âsheâs gonna cum, shiu,â toji groans, basically guiding your head by this point. you bobble back and forth, back and forth, a hand then wrapping around his erect shaft. your thumb skims against the few veins that coat near his dick, and you continue to moan out sweet muffled whimpers. so close, you could nearly taste your candied orgasm approaching.
shiu hums, two rough hands spreading your ass a bit further before he starts to create loooong sloppy sucks.
by that point, you were just near the edge. he was so good, you felt your nipples start to perk and tenseâyou whine, still taking toji into your mouth before you watch toji start to moan louder too. the both of you were approaching quickly, he huffs out a single breath before giving you a single head pat. âmake me cum girl, fuckinâ do it.â
you blink thrice, feeling your eyes become watery for a brief moment. gradually, you swipe your tongue against his tip before sinking deeper down. your throat was so compatible, compatible with his inches. so much saliva ran down the sides of your mouth and down your chest. he had to keep wiping it like a true gentlemen.
gentleman was⊠a word.
waves started to grow, rising and rising. the build up of it all was purely exultant, euphoric evenâŠ
for the both of you, it felt so hypnotizing. equivalent to a tsunami about to create total havoc, he felt the ache in his thighs subside before building back up again. your maw lowers just a tad bit. and toji groans lowly, making your head go back and forth until he heard those sweet gagging sounds once more.
he was really that big, you always wonder how he even fit inside your mouth sometimesâhe always made it for thoughâŠ. just for you.
his favorite girl.
the moment toji cums, itâs so much.
it comes out in warm spurts. ropes and ropes galore.
your tongue catches it all, making sure to not miss a single drop. it tasted sweetly bitter, sugary but bitter. he shakes a bit, a hand still tightly grabbing onto the crown of your head as he finishes down your throat. whenever he came, he came a lot. toji never failed to leave your throat full, loaded with such velvety ropes of his honeyed flavor. âs-shittt,â heâd pant, feeling his chest tighten. hearing toji stutter was always cute, the swear that left past his lips sounded so enchanting. he swallows, and whilst he pulls out his now flaccid length, he grumbles. âstick that shit out for me.â
you loll out your tongue yet again, showing him that you proudly swallowed it all and he wipes a few beads from his forehead, feeling at such a high, ââŠ.phew girl.â
you end up finishing shortly afterward, your body jerking against shiuâs tongue. it felt so intense, you shook violently, legs shakingâcontractions arising everywhere. his tongue slows down, still against your clit before the endorphins that ran through your body waves and roams all throughout. you bit your lip, finally coming undone and your moan was so pitchy and loud.
âforgot how noisy ya usually get,â shiu remarks, and you felt yourself still profusely throbbing. you swipe a tongue over your lips before moaning. once shiu gifts your ass with a final mean spank, itâs so rough. âawh,â and then he shifts his gaze towards tojiâa very flustered-and-out-of-breath toji. âlook at toji babygirl. âs all speechless. is he usually like this?â
ânâno,â you spat, intaking a sharp breath before sitting upright. your entire body still felt warm, tingles running all over before you stare at toji yourself.
he glares at the two of you, suddenly feeling cornered before sternly.
âshut the fuck up. âm not flustered,â and then he grabs ahold of your arm. softly, he pulls you into his chest before he falls back. âany-fuckinâ-way,âweâre not finished here, little girl. we havenât even gotten to the best part,â and you watch as he gives himself a few concise strokes. he was surprisingly hard a bit, despite his previous release. âshiu, get over here.â
âah, so demanding,â he sneers. with glossy eyes, you reach for shiuâs black long slacks, giving it a cute tug. he hums out in sheer amusement, watching your fingers unzip near the fly of his pants and you could make out the bulge that was eagerly presenting itself. he moves closer, closing the distance between the two of you before toji briefly lifts you up. âoh i see,â he whispers, and then you feel shiuâs hands softly graze against your waist. âdoll, can you handle both of us inside?â
âyâ yes,â you quickly reply, throwing your arms over toji. he snickers at you, that same scar that runs across his lip contorting each time his facial structure twitches. again, this entire thingâthis entire scenario, it felt like a dream. a fever dream.
a fever dream, you never wanted to wake up.
not now, not ever.
âyeahhh? letâs see,â shiu breathes, and he gingerly brings his hands towards your hips.
thumbs of his gently presses into your skin before he picks you up. by now, youâre hovering over tojiâs angry tip. toji leans back, all manspread with that annoying sly grin. heâs waiting, awaiting patiently. he was never a patient man, but for you, maybe that could have been changed.
you moan, slowly but gradually sinking down onto tojiâs thick length.
the sounds your cunt made upon impact was so lewd, salacious squelch after squelchâit ringed into your ears, so tediously repetitive. as you got lowered down onto toji, you wriggle your hips a bit, grinding forward and he grunts. âdonât fuckinâ do that,â he mutters, spanking you. âstay the fuck still.â
shiu gazes from afar, and thatâs when he whips out his own hardened shaft â he breathes, smothering his glossed lips together before preparing to go inside of you too. into somewhere where it wasnât so occupied, you let off a soft whimper once he inserts himself, real slow.
you were a ticking time bomb, gnawing down on your lip as you started to feel madly stuffed. youâve felt stuffed by toji, but with them both? you felt extra stuffed, double stuffed even..
âs-shiu âs big,â you moan, feeling him slowly ease his way insideâeverything felt so hot. your ears, the very tips of them was probably fuming with a scorching temperature by now. âfuckkkk.â
âalways the right size for you, baby girl,â shiu huffs out, a thumb strumming against your sides. you stare at toji and heâs got the biggest pout on his face. the fact that you two had history irked him for reasonâagain, he shouldnât care. it shouldnât bother him. the two of you werenât even together but still. it pissed him off, he felt threatenedâas if he had some sort of competition against his best friend. âthere we go, easy now. bare with me,â and his voice was so low, right up against your ear. being double stuffed between the two of them, you whine. your hand placement was right onto tojiâs beefy pecs before you tap on him, yearning desperately for his attention.
âwhat.â toji grumbles, his tone was sharp and he grips onto your waist just as youâre about there at taking both of them fully. his pout was cute, briefly glancing at shiu who was propped right up behind you.
his pecs were so soft, chiseled even. it flexed a bit each time you ran a finger against his skin and he shudders a bit. âcan iâŠâ you mumble, a quick short second stare averts towards his nipples. they were so hardenedâperky, you felt awkward at even asking but they were so big, literally right in your face. âcan i suck on them?â
âgirl what?â
you moan, starting to move forward against the both of them, a pace startingâso incredibly stuffed, they both reached deep inside of both holes before you clench. you huff out a single breath before repeating yourself. âi said can iââ
âi ainât deaf, i heard what ya said,â he responds, bringing the left cheek of your ass a brief squeeze. âyou wanna suck on my ⊠nipples?â
âawhhh. donât be mean, let her suck toji. iâd suck too,â shiu cackles, and he starts up a jerking rhythm. you moan out, feeling the girth of them both wholly stretch you out. it felt too good, drool-worthy. âyour tits, i meanâpecs are fuckinâ huge man.â
âshut up. yâer both fuckinâ weirdos,â toji swats, clearly irritated. it was cute, he was cute. he then averts his darkened green eyes back towards you, pleading with your eyes. âfuck. fineâŠ.fine. just not so rough, âm sensitive there.â
you smile, leaning near his chest before softly rolling your tongue against his nipple near his left chest.
you earn an abrupt strained moan from toji, and he wasnât kidding. he really was sensitive there, his head throws back slightlyâso much was occurring that you kind of forget how you were being stuffed full of not only one cock but two. you were quite vocal yourself. slumped against toji as you start to suck on his nipples, you gingerly nibble against it and he slips off a whine.
âaw, doll. you got him soundinâ like a girl.â shiu titters, and his rhythm had you moaning with tojiâs pec right into your mouthâyou felt your mouth âpopâ in surprise, feeling shiuâs fingers slither down against your back. his touch, it was so warm. the way heâd strum his fingers alongside your back had you throbbing desperately for more.
âsâshut up man,â toji groans, a hand grabbing onto your head. he gives it an awkward pat, not exactly wanting you to stop because it feels good. the way you flick your tongue against his nipple, lathering it with your salivaâso lewd, heâs always loved that part about you. he ruffles your hair and for a split second you can see that his eyes sort of soften. âshit baby. just like thatâŠâ
tojiâs rough and mean demeanor went away for a moment it seems.
you whimper once youâre brought back to reality. reality of feeling yourself soak up both shafts buried deep inside of you, buried to the very hilts. your cunt pulsed and pulsed as youâre just rutting back and forth against him. youâre jerking, it was so repetitive as the bed creaks. it created the same harmonic noises of squeaks and creaks, forevermore ringing into both of your twitching ears.
âf-fuckinâ freaky girl,â he breathes through clenched teeth, watching as your eyes playfully linger up at him. âno oneâs everâ did that to me before.â
your body felt so warm against theirs, both bodies colliding against youâyou felt the pace quicken, clenching down on both of them before a whine slides out. your mouth was still primarily occupied, sucking on tojiâs nipple. with a muffled, âmhm,â you suck down a bit deeper, making sure to coat every part of the center of his pec with spit.
he stares at you the entire time with dark dilated pupils, sucking his teeth before he feels his cock twitch inside you.
he was turned onâŠ.
yet after a while it dawned on him, toji wasnât gonna cum from being inside of you with shiu, he was gonna cum from you sucking on his sensitive nipples.
a hard reality to face, he was the epitome of embarrassed.
âfuck,â he growls, watching you still attach your lips against his nipplesâshiu continues to stuff you full from behind, he starts to feel his breathing rapidly pick up. tojiâs thigh aches as heâs just bouncing it against you. âshiu, quit fuckinâ looking at me like that.â
âlike what?â he chortles, and you were approaching close too â it was coming quick, so quick that you could barely even fathom anything.
you were merely drooling against tojiâs hardened pecs, feeling as if you were in heaven. you always did wonder what his pecs tasted like, and it didnât disappoint. you moan, lapping your tongue up against his nipple once more before he groans out again. this time, itâs the low pitched moan he always does when he gets close. his jaw tightens and he spanks your ass, a rough smack that brings you back into reality again for the umpteenth time. shiu snickers, making you arch forward in toji a bit more before purring, âaw. gonna cum just from our girl suckinâ on yâer tits?â
our girl.
for some reason, shiu addressing you as his and tojiâs girl made you throb a bit. actually, âa bitâ was quite the understatement. you were convulsing, stuck in a lewd frenzy as you were just spasming out. every few seconds you felt shiuâs thumb prod against the outer part of your hole, his strokes was slow yet deep and thoroughly thorough. same with toji, although he was starting to merely bottom out. more like he already was.
âfuckkk,â toji groans, and you suddenly lean in to kiss him. he moans right into your mouth, tasting bitter arousal all on his tongue. he pants heavily, short two second pants pouring into your mouth. wrapping his arms around you, he shudders from the sudden cold air that wafts against his bare chest.
he ends up finishing inside of you, such sloppy ropes of cum pouring right into youâyou slump against his chest once more, intaking all of his warmth before squeezing him dry.
shiu was reaching his peak too, the more he picks up his frenetic pace, the more he was so close to give you another deep filling. it was so sticky, you felt the remains of tojiâs sopping cum run down your dripping cunt, jerking forward against him you let off a moan before reaching down to touch yourself.
âah. no touchinâ our pussy.â shiu swats your hand away softly, pinning it behind your back.
yet everything comes to a halt when your phone rings.
your ears twitch at the loud screeching ring of your ringtone, it was more closer to toji so you mutter.
âwho is it?â
âyâer dad.â he replies, fat thumbs turning the brightness down on your phone whilst he squints.
âa-answer it. just tell him âm busy.â you whine in a shaky voice, merely feeling yourself about to burst right into both of them.
âokay.â toji snickers.
toji swipes the green button to accept the incoming call, putting it on speaker for you all to hear.
âheyyy honey⊠i was just calling to check on you. i had to go step out for a moment to buy some beer. want anything?â
âhey buddy,â toji snorts. âshe said sheâs busy.â
âtoji?â your dad responds with a tone of pure confusion. thereâs a long three second pause before he adds onto his sentence. âuh. whatâre you doing with my daughterâs phone?â
âwell shit. thatâs a good question,â and you nudge on toji, watching him merely burst out into a straight goofy guffaw. youâre so close to your orgasm that your vision started to blur. stars clouded your entire eyesight, and you feel shiu guide your hips to its inevitable release. âheh. âm just joking man. sheâs âŠâŠ.. takinâ the trash out. left her phone on the table.â
âoh okay! thatâs so sweet of her, tell her i said thank you.â
âiâll be sure to do that,â toji grunts, his thick base thwacking against you â he was still a bit sensitive from his previous release, and shiu ends up dumping a load into you after a while. you end up mimicking his actions, releasing yourself but toji has to cover your mouth. âsince you asked, iâd take a pack of beer too. we still up for the game tonight?â
âyeah man! go packers!â
toji sneers, feeling you coat his entire lap with your slick arousal. you were soaked, a quavering mess before shiu pulls out.
âiâll talk to you later though. drive safe,â
and he tosses the phone aside once your father replies with a cheery âalrighty then!â he was so oblivious. if toji hadnât have been covering your mouth when you orgasmed, you were sure he was gonna hear. it was a lewd sight entirely, you started to suck on tojiâs fingers and he eyes you with a sly smile. he wasnât so whiney anymore, in factâ you ended up squirting on them both with them still shoved inside of you, so much too.
it came out so much, you were filled up with slick amounts of seed as well as damping yourself. you feel all against tojiâs chest, moaning before shiu spins you around to kiss him. you lean into his touch, still tasting a good amount of smoke thay resides on his breath.
toji watches for a few long seconds before pulling you to kiss him insteadâyou moan, savoring both of their tastes before you feel tojiâs fingers skim against the entrance of your filled up pussy.
âwonder how yâer dad would react at you doing this instead of taking the trash out. getting stuffed by his two friends, tchhh,â he mutters, delving two thick fingers into your cuntâ he swirls it into a circular motion before pulling it out, staring at the mess that coats his digits. âshiu. câmere.â
shiu inches towards toji before smirking. he gives his best friend a sly grin before humming. âyes, toji?â
âtaste her for me.â
shiu lets toji slide his fingers into his mouth, and he sucks on them.
slowly, he glides his tongue across his fingers, tasting every inch. you found it a little hot as you watched, the way shiu stared at toji in such a playful gazeâyou started to feel like the third wheel for a moment.
âmhm,â he mumbles, cleaning both of his fingers before he pulls it out. a pretty sheeny cobweb of spit left his mouth before he wipes his lips, dark irises focusing back towards you. âyou taste so sweet on tojiâs fingers, doll. like you always have.â
it was so filthy, they were filthy and you only wanted moreâŠ
you gasp once toji suddenly drags you off his lap, making you bend over for him. âi want more of a taste, bend the fuck over, princess.â
you do, being face first between shiuâs parted thighs and he gives you a subtle head pat, a thumb slides against your lips before he brushes his finger to make your jaw hang open.
you had heart eyes, metaphorically, not literally but even stillâ
a sweetened whimper pours from your glossed lips the moment tojiâs tongue swipes against your folds, wasting no time to suck near your throbbing impulsing nub, tasting the aftermath that they both created with no shame whatsoever.
in front of you, you wrap a hand around shiuâs length, staring into his eyes before suddenly near the edge of the bed, you jolt at hearing your dadâs voice through the phone . . .
âwhat the actual fuck am i listening to?â
#â
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hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT
Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.
When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examplesâI mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.
I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.
Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitationâthere were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.
For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.
Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.
The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studiesâthere's literally no way around itâso you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forwardâisn't that a fun prospect!!
It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.
I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skillsâthe other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).
Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)
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youâve tried, but you canât help yourself from crushing on your best friendâs dad. hot, buff, tatted up and successful, mr. jeon is the starring actor in all of your wettest dreams. and as you wake up from one while sleeping over at his house after his daughterâs birthday party, you donât expect all of them to suddenly come true. but they do.
pairing: dilf!jk x inexperienced!fem reader
genre: smut, dilf au, best friendâs father
warnings: lower case intended, porn with some lots of plot, age gap (21 n 38), dom!jk, sub!reader, voyeurism, messy blow job, fingering, oral (f receiving), bit of tit play (small chested reader yayyy), two (2) spanks, unprotected sex, cum eating, dirty talk, a bit of degradation, but also praise, pet names, some angst hehe, she falls first he falls harder??? but miscommunication sadly, forbidden love
ratings: 18+ / mdi
word count: 18.2k
a/n: i kinda hate this it doesnt make sense anymore to me but when i realized i was already 12k words in so đ here you are! its also so hard to write smut for me because i get carried away but then it becomes too overwhelming Help. anyways. im back hey!!!!
ââââàšà§ââââ
in the backseat of his car, you stare forward at his hands gripping the steering wheel. thereâs something hypnotic about the way his fingers curl around the leather. you bite your lips, an attempt to suppress the heat easily pooling low in your belly, your thighs rubbing together to conceal the effects of your lewd thoughts.
but amid them, one stands out. itâs the one that puts a shameless, selfish smile on your face, when you fixate on the image of the fourth finger of his left hand lacking a gold band.
itâs been a few months since that dayâ since areum, your best friend, showed up at your door in a frantic state, her finger jabbing the bell over and over in a panicked rhythm that jolted you from your bed.
you had nearly tripped down the stairs in your rush to swing the entrance open, and when you did, you were instantly tackled by your friend collapsing into your arms, her tears soaking through your shirt.
kicking the door shut, your hands busy embracing areum with panic in your eyes, you tried to steady both her and yourself. in between her uncontrollable sobs, shaking you to the core, she let her worries tumble out her mouth. her words came in a torrent, fast and breathless, barely giving you any time to fully process them as she buried her face in your neck, her body trembling.
it took a moment for the huge news to break through your thick, slowed down brain, but then it struck you, areum chanting it repeatedly as if she couldnât grasp her mind around it: her parents were splitting up. divorce was imminent.
your own disbelief mirrored hers, but for very different reasons. you felt it in the way your shock turned into excitement; indecorous, depraved exhilaration, with your friend still hiding in your chest.
even as her sobs echoed in your ears, your mind latched onto one single thought, repeating like a mantra: heâs single. mr. jeon is single.
you felt terribly guilty when you sensed a smile that you couldnât quite suppress stretching over your features, and the jittery sensation that came with it flowed your body and reached your hands, tightening them around areum harder to try and squeeze the shame out of yourself.
since that day, youâve lost count of how many afternoons youâve spent at areumâs house. youâve been doing your best to be the friend she needs, to keep her company when what she fears the most is loneliness.
youâve been a constant presence, helping her through the mountain of neglected work she left piling up, distracting her with baking sessions, or mindlessly binge watching entire seasons of friends on lazy evenings. anything to keep her mind off the pain.
but each visit is an opportunity. a fleeting chance to see him. to study how he moves around the house with that quiet intensity of his, a presence able to fill every room like a calm, steady current.
youâve memorized many of his mannerisms. the way his eyes soften when he looks at areum; the way his mouth twitches into a faint smile when she tries to cheer him up; the way he nods at you in recognisment, silently letting you know heâs grateful for what youâre doing to help his daughter.
you wish you could help him too. in other ways. ways you know you shouldnât be thinking about.
you canât avoid it, though. youâve witnessed him come back home from work countless times now, watched the tension etched across his features as he steps through the door, wished you could be the one to ease it off his shoulders. let your hand travel down his chest, reach his belt.
you feel disgusting unfailingly, but how can you not let your mind wander when he groans so deliciously every time he loosens the tie around his neck and kicks off his shoes?
you know exactly what his next move is, the imperceptible sigh melting the weariness off his face the moment he greets his daughter, a tender smile breaking through his exhaustion.
âany requests for dinner tonight, girls?â he always asks, his gaze jumping between areum and you on the living room couch, waiting for a response.
after your friend replies she likes whatever her daddy cooks, your stomach twists with nerves when his eyes meet yours to make sure thereâs no complaints, and you quickly shake your head, biting your lips to keep from saying something foolish. is your dick on the menu? perhaps?
and the man can cook. exceptionally well. he moves around the kitchen with an effortless grace, every movement purposeful, every dish you have the honor of tasting better than the last.
while you help setting the table, you catch yourself staring more times than you should, mesmerized by the way he chops vegetables or stirs a pot, and you canât help but wonder if thereâs anything heâs not good at.
fuck. is there even a single flawed bone in this manâs body? with every day you spend at his house, youâre convinced there canât be.
you want him to notice you, the same way you notice him. you tell yourself youâre just being a good friend to areum, but you know thereâs more behind your constant visits.
thereâs definitely more behind the way your skirts get shorter, your tops tighter, your bras purposefully not worn.
you feel crazed when you convince yourself his gaze falls upon your exposed thighs when he puts a plate in front of you at dinner, or when his eyes seem to be caught, only for a fleeting second, by your hardened nipples, evident through your poor excuses of shirts.
even when your interactions donât go further than a brief exchange about college and areum or quiet, polite smiles in passing, the mere thought of being around him sends a rush through your veins, a dark and forbidden feeling tumbling in your stomach.
youâve been seeking more and more of that after one particular night, your feet making their way down the stairs after areum had fallen asleep and you had rathered take your leave. you found him stretched on the couch, a drink in his hand.
his eyes hazily followed your movements, his voice low and slightly slurred, âare you leaving already?â
hearing him acknowledge you outside of the usual context of areumâs presence made you stop dead in your tracks, your reddened cheeks turning to face him, the dark color spreading all over your features when you fully took him in.
he was cladded in a comfortable attire, one you almost never saw on him, black sweatpants and a gray t-shirt falling sweetly on his shoulders, the short sleeves revealing the intricate ink designs running all over his right arm.
you shook yourself out of your trance suddenly, stuttering, âhuh⊠yes. didnât wanna be a bother.â
he chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine, âoh, youâre not. i wish all of my daughterâs friends were like you.â
his words hung in the air, with sincerity and something else you couldnât quite decipher. you simply laughed along, a nervous, shaky sound escaping your lips, trying to mask the way your heart was racing with desperation for the gods to grace you with the depth of his tipsy voice all night.
to this day, you still think your horny and delusional prayer was heard when he nodded to the empty space beside him, lifting his glass slightly, âcare for a drink? youâre 21 now, right?â
you only nodded shyly, more out of reflex than actual thought, slowly making your way to sit beside him just as he had instructed. the proximity sent a wave of heat through your body, your insides melting with the lava, the smell of his cologne and laundry detergent replacing the burned ground with a trail of flowers.
you were willing to do whatever he wanted from you at that moment, even if it meant downing the harsh liquor he poured into a glass for you. you took a sip, struggling not to grimace at the burn that followed. he smiled.
it was probably the alcohol loosening his tongue, but that night, for the first time, you saw a side of mr. jeon that he kept carefully hidden away, his vulnerability a strong characteristic of it.
his words tumbled out in a quiet, almost confessional tone. he spoke about his marriage, about how he had always felt somewhat trapped. still a teenager himself, he was only 17 when he found out his soon to be wife was pregnant with areum; 23 when they decided to marry.
his voice soft, but tinged with a sadness you hadnât heard before, he admitted he never felt like he got to live his youth to the fullest, certainly blessed with his perfect baby, but also chained down by responsibilities and a tightening pressure he shouldnât have had to deal with at such a young age.
then, with his eyes burning into your shiny and equally flaring ones, he paused just for a moment, and you felt he could see right through you, into the very core of your being. that he had you all figured out.
âwhen i look at you,â he continued, his voice barely more than a whisper, his gaze traveling down your bare thighs, squished together on his couch, âi feel like i get a bit of that youth back. youâre so full of life, so fresh, so⊠full of love for my daughter. iâm glad she has you. glad we have you.â
as he found your orbs again, you noticed his had significantly darkened. you were sure your heart would have failed you if you had kept navigating in his gaze; instead, you looked down at your hands folded in your lap.
that night, he paid for your uber and insisted you sent him a text when you made it home. it was only read the morning after, and left unanswered.
even now, youâre convinced that if it werenât for the whisky, those words would have stayed locked away in his mind, never seeing the light of day. not even if he were forced to speak them at gunpoint.
still, youâre grateful for the magical effects of alcohol and how theyâve brought you a tiny bit closer to give a look into his complicated world. it has awakened something in you, something stronger and far more dangerous than anything youâve felt before.
you want to be there for him. help him through the doubts and regrets. be the youth he missed. take the weight off his shoulders. let him use you on that couch.
that feral, undomesticated monster inside you is a hundred times hungrier when, exiting the library building with areum by your side, babbling in your ear about todayâs plans, you see his sleek mercedes parked outside.
he honks, getting his daughterâs attention too, who excitedly walks over the car when she spots it. the sound works as a pavlovian trigger for you, it has your mouth salivating and your senses alert, catching up with your friend and getting in the backseat.
it has been a few weeks since you last saw him, both you and areum too busy with assignments and outside activities, and his charming smile as he asks about the day cuts the breath from your lungs.
youâre silent as your friend fills him in, your ears struggling to pick up her speech as it only takes a few more seconds for your eyes to be caught by an interesting detail, one that has your world rocked: he finally took his wedding ring off.
the wedding ring that has stood as an unspoken boundary between you and your reckless fantasies is gone.
the realization hits hard, and suddenly, the reality around you narrows. your mind veers into dangerous territory, conjuring visions that feel too real.
you can almost feel his left hand wrapping around your waist, pulling you in, claiming you. and the images are so vivid, so consuming, that you donât even notice when areum nudges your shoulder.
you donât register her calling your name until the sound finally cuts through, pulling you back to the present with a jolt.
you blink a few times, trying to ground yourself, before turning to face her, areumâs voice light but her expression amusedly curious, âdad asked you a question.â
your whole face drops, panic clear in your features, and heat immediately rushes to your cheeks. youâve been zoning out, lost in a daydream about the very man sitting in front of you, the one you literally just ignored, too busy thinking of him. the irony is almost too much.
your eyes find his in the rearview mirror, and the slight smirk on his lips only makes you look even dumber, stuttering all throughout your explanation, âsorry, mr. jeon. iâ um. i was distracted.â
he simply chuckles, low and clearly not offended by your lapse in attention. his focus is back on the road, but as he speaks you keep yours on the words heâs directing at you this time, âitâs okay. i always tell you, just jeongguk is fine. i was asking about your day, you seem a little worn out.â
âoh. iâit went well! i guess iâm just tired,â the words feel clumsy as they leave your mouth, but you hope they sound convincing enough. you just canât stop your eyes from falling on his left hand.
âwell, you canât be!â itâs areumâs excitement interrupting your furious imagination and bubbling over, âyou need to help me set up for tonight. then, weâre gonna do our makeup, our hair, and dress up. iâm so excited!â
right. the reason why you could finally see mr. jeon after weeks and why youâre currently driving to his house is because itâs areumâs birthday.
the day feels significant in so many ways. youâre excited to witness your best friend turn a year older even after the hardships sheâs been faced with. honored that youâre the one sheâs chosen to help make this night perfect, ensure every detail is just how sheâs pictured this moment to be like. and you canât deny that you feel slightly nervous at the prospect of tonight, knowing thereâs going to be faces youâre not that well acquainted with. youâd say youâre a bit awkward with new people, but youâll try to bear through it for the sake of areumâs happiness.
but mostly, you feel guilty. because no matter how much you try to focus on your friend, the thought that truly makes your insides all mushy with fuzziness is the fact that youâre going to be in the proximity of her dad, again.
you crave for the smallest moments. the brief second where youâll catch his gaze. the way his cologne will subtly linger in the hallways of his home. your eyes have a habit of drifting to his hands, those strong, veined, tattooed hands that move so smoothly whenever he speaks.
even now, in his car, as you glance at his side profile, thereâs a ridiculous and almost cosmic sense of gratitude. like youâve been chosen. blessed by whatever god to exist on this planet at the same time as him, to simply witness his presence.
it should be enough. it really should. but youâre a sinner. youâre greedy, wanting more. always more.
that buzzing sensation sticks with you throughout the entire day. the hours are packed with frantic energy, as you and areum run around in anxious over-organization, only for her own panic to rub off on you, making your movements quick and precise, as if every step has to be executed flawlessly.
and with all the chaos, heâs there in the back of your mind. mr. jeon. his presence is overwhelming, even when heâs not around.
he helps for a while, joining you in the backyard as you set up for the evening, his calm demeanor in stark contrast to the whirlwind around you. but then he disappears into his studio, retreating into his own space, leaving you to your tasks, and you donât see him until hours later.
yet, you still feel him, as if heâs always near. his upstairs studioâs window faces the garden, and itâs enough to make you hyper-aware of your every gesture.
you straighten your back, slow your steps, each action more deliberate, because even though you donât know if heâs really watching, it feels like he is.
getting your makeup, hair and outfit ready with areum does slightly ease that sensation off your chest. you love these moments with her. shared girlhood when you do each otherâs eyeliner, the flutter of excitement as you zip up dresses, as you rummage through her closet, searching for the perfect piece to complete your look.
but even then, youâre brought back to the man working just a few rooms down the hallway. itâs astonishing how easily areum has access to everything she wants. the power her dad holds, the kind of wealth that makes life feel effortless in ways you canât help but envy.
for her, money isnât just something that buys things. itâs a silent force that shapes her world. she doesnât have to worry about how much something costs or wonder if sheâll ever have enough. itâs as simple as snapping her fingers.
it must be nice to have that kind of life. to have someone like him in your corner, with wealth that seems to fall into place as easily as leaves from a tree. you donât resent her for it, not really. but it makes you wonder what it would be like to live in a world where nothing is out of reach.
where everything, even the man who haunts your thoughts, could be yours with the right words or a simple gesture.
when you see him again, youâre standing in his kitchen. areum is still upstairs, fixing the tiniest details to her makeup, but you decided to come down early, just in case the first guests arrive, wanting to be helpful, wanting to keep yourself busy.
youâre momentarily lost in the view outside the window, the backyard garden bathed in the warm glow of fairy lights, their soft hues blending beautifully with the sage and pastel yellow decorations. the setup looks like something out of a dream, and it pulls a small, unbidden smile to your face.
the quiet peace is interrupted by the sound of a cupboard cracking open behind you, and you startle, your heart giving a quick jump.
you turn, following the noise, and there he isâ jeongguk, bent over as he retrieves a bottle of red wine from the lower cupboard.
as he straightens up, bottle in hand, he finds your eyes already staring in his. heâs uncharacteristically deliberate as he still lets his gaze wander up and down your figure.
youâve dressed carefully for tonight, choosing a flowy pink dress that flutters delicately against your thighs. the corset top hugs your waist in all the right ways, accentuating your shape, the kind of dress that makes you feel just a little more confident, a little more seen.
but now, under his gaze, you feel exposed, like heâs seeing more than just the fabric of your dress. his eyes linger longer than usual, and when his orbs dip to your chest, itâs almost as if he hesitates, like heâs trying to tear his eyes away but canât.
youâre not even sure if the engrossed look on his face is real or just the product of your own twisted fantasies.
still, your body responds instinctively, your hand drifting up to play with your necklace, an unconscious gesture, while your other arm wraps around your waist, as if youâre trying to hold yourself together under the intensity of his stare.
when his eyes return to your wide ones, he gives a subtle nod towards your dress, and the smile that curves his lips is warm, but you canât decipher that something else it wants to communicate.
his voice is smoother than youâve ever heard it, as if literal honey, sweet and rich, is dripping out from his pillowy lips, âwhat a beauty. you look very pretty.â
you werenât expecting that. it steals the breath from your lungs. itâs not just the words, or even the way he says them, velvet wrapping around your senses.
itâs how he seems to drink you in, his refined wine nothing in comparison. like youâre something to be savored just as carefully.
at this point, youâre seriously questioning if there was a stronger substance in the liquor you and areum shared earlier, even if you hadnât taken big quantities, each small sip burning your throat and making you grimace at the sensation. but you figure it must have been enough to distort the current reality around you. or maybe, mr. jeon is the inebriated one.
you don't know how you find the voice to speak, or if you even do, the word escaping your lips in an uncoordinated mess, almost imperceptible, âthanks.â
he hums deeply in response, and it vibrates through the space between you. you let out a shaky exhale the moment his gaze finally shifts away. he resumes the task at hand, effortlessly opening the bottle of wine and turning his back to you as he reaches for a glass from the higher cabinet.
the muscles in his shoulders shift under his shirt, and for a split second, youâre unsure what to do. whether to stay, add anything else, flee the room entirely. make small conversation about areumâs birthday. comment on his look, too. oh, you have a lot to say about it.
you can tell he just wrapped up his work-related tasks for today from the way the first three buttons of his white shirt are opened, revealing his deep cleavage. his hair slightly tousled, but in a way that looks purposeful, perfectly intentional. his slacks hug him deliciously, rounding the curve of his ass and making you swallow hard.
your eyes canât resist trailing over him, but they quickly move up to stare at the ceiling, feigning deep thought when he turns back to face you, and the counter.
surprisingly, heâs the one to break the silence first, again. the rich sound fills the air as he pours the red wine, the motion so precise, so fluid, it feels like witnessing an authentic art form.
he doesnât bother looking up at you as he asks, seemingly casual, but slightly amused, âis there a boy youâre trying to impress tonight?â
the way he steers the conversation makes you less agitated, more confident. especially with the question thrown your way. teasing, almost belittling. you can see heâs not even trying to hide his pretty smirk, his focus on the wine flowing into the glass.
the question lingers, and you twirl your necklace around your fingers, smoothing down your dress with your other hand, your eyes flitting to his naked left hand, âmh⊠you could say so.â
of course, youâre not thinking about a boy. mr. jeon is no boyâ heâs a man. the kind women dream about but know theyâll never find. the kind that belongs on the big screen or in the pages of a novel, with his effortless charm, his wealth, his looks that stop you in your tracks.
but heâs in front of you. and heâs tall, muscular, with hands that could crush or caress, tattooed in a way that makes your mouth dry up and water all at once.
itâs him you want to impress. you want to affect him the way he affects you, with effortless intensity. you want to pull him in, make him look at you the way he makes your world tilt on its axis with just a glance.
youâre hypnotized as you witness him in one of his rich man activities, performing a ritual with the wine glass. he brings it to his nose, his eyes fluttering shut as he takes in the aroma.
thereâs something so practiced, so sensual in the way he handles the glass, the liquid dancing with delicate precision, as if even this simple act holds meaning. you canât look away.
when he's satisfied, he finds you again, and your mouth is slightly open without you even realizing it. the moment he lifts the glass to his lips, you bite your own, almost harshly, your body reacting before your mind can catch up.
his smile is soft, but thereâs something unsettling in its honesty, like he knows exactly what heâs doing to you.
he mutters into the glass, his words resounding even stronger, âwell, heâd be a fool not to fall for you.â
the implications of his comment make you swallow audibly, while he downs his first sip of the wine with fine ease, his adamâs apple bobbing with it. the whole time, his eyes never leave yours.
a thick silence stretches between you, and you wish you could break it but you donât know how. your mind spins with the unspoken tension, but he seems entirely comfortable with it. the only sound filling the space is the quiet hum of the house.
he places the glass back on the counter, the soft clink of it slicing through the quiet. smoothly, he nudges it in your direction, his movements slow, as if testing the waters.
his voice is inviting, even more than usual, âyou want some?â
âis that wine?â you instantly cringe at the way you sound strained.
he hums, a low sound of affirmation, watching you carefully.
you briefly glance at the glass, âiâve never had it.â
âtry it, then.â
with a slow twist of his fingers around the base, he slides the glass toward you. as it moves across the marble surface, you notice how he rotates it imperceptibly, but purposefully, so that the side where his lips touched the rim is now facing you.
the gesture is subtle, but the intent behind it is clear. at least to your deranged fantasies.
thereâs a faint lip mark where his mouth had been, and the sight of it pulls you in, making your pulse pound in your ears. you look back up at him, finding his gaze still on you, his expression unreadable but heavy with implication.
without a word, you lift the glass, your fingers wrapping clumsily around the stem. you bring it to your lips, your mouth closing over the spot his lips had just pressed on.
the wine hits your tongueâ bitter, sharp, and unfamiliar. you gulp hard, the liquid burning slightly as it slides down your throat. your face scrunches involuntarily, a clear sign of distaste. the richness of the flavor is too much for you, and you canât help but grimace as the aftertaste lingers.
he watches, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. when you set the glass down, he effortlessly picks it back up and brushes his fingers across the rim.
his tone laced with amusement, he asks, âlike it?â
you shake your head quickly, trying to hide your discomfort.
his chuckle is low, a soft rumble that makes your stomach flip. swirling the wine gently, he muses, âi heard thereâs going to be alcohol tonight.â
you groan lightly, slumping your shoulders, âugh, i know.â
the endearment rolls off his tongue like a secret meant just for you, his voice dipping into something softer, more intimate, âmake sure you donât drink too much, pretty face. iâll be around.â
just like that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there, your thoughts spinning. pretty face?
what just happened? youâre not sure, but youâve definitely stepped into something dangerous, something you canât quite shake.
itâs hard to do so, even as the birthday party kicks off. the energy in the backyard shifts as more guests arrive. lively voices and unfamiliar faces begin to fill the space. areumâs laughter cuts through the hum, infectious and bright, drawing everyone in.
it all contrasts sharply with the weight still hanging in your chest from your earlier encounter with mr. jeon. your eyes keep darting toward the house, toward where you know he is, even though the logical part of you tells you to stop.
you stand at the entrance to the garden for a moment, taking in the scene. the subtle smell of flowers mixes with the faint scent of food, and your best friend bounces around the space, radiant in her dress. youâre genuinely happy for her, honored to share this moment.
and with your best efforts, you start engaging with others, smiling as you talk to some classmates and mutual friends, but itâs all surface-level. your mind is elsewhere.
itâs only later, as the evening progresses and the party settles into a rhythm, that you begin to relax. mainstream music plays in the background, and it inevitably involves everybody, as some classic party games become the main entertainment.
long after the cake and the gift-opening, the group gathers into a loose circle, throwing each other never have i ever questions.
you canât help the way you all still feel like teenagers deep down, and how you get foolishly excited whenever the topic gets hot, and hints at anything that is sex related.
childish and immature, you know, but your ears still perk when the first probing question is tossed out.
ânever have i ever been fingered.â
areum instantly shushes it, her eyes panickedly looking back to the house in hopes her dad isnât around. laughter bubbles just as quickly, both because of the question and the girlâs reaction.
as expected, many reach for their drink, and you do too. the few present boys holler in a teasing manner, gaining some eye rolls.
sheepishly, the plastic cup touches your lips and you take the smallest sip from your punch. you canât appear unbothered like your other peers, your cheeks subtly flaming as the embarrassing memories rush to your mind.
itâs silent, the small plea you telepathically send to anyone that might be listening. you pray for the topic to shift to something else, something that wonât inevitably put you at the center of the attention. something you can relate to.
but of course, god is not on your side. the questions only dig deeper, wandering in uncharted territory (at least for you), and you never reach for your glass again.
you can only sink further in your chair as everybody else around you seems even more lively with the way the game has turned, sharing their experiences, giggling as they listen, refilling their cups.
beside you, areum buzzes with energy as every question is just something for her to drink to, nothing that shocks her or that she isnât familiar with.
never have i ever given head.
never have i ever been ate out.
never have i ever rode someone.
itâs undeniable, the way your skin heats up. with how youâve been spending your whole day, fantasizing about the man whoâs probably already asleep in his bedroom by now, your friends sharing their adventures only fuels your imagination.
you feel dirty when you put yourself in those scenarios, and for every daring moment they relive, the figure that appears beside you is always mr. jeon.
if only you turned your head, just for a moment, and glanced toward the kitchen window that faces the backyard.
you would have seen the same man dominating your thoughts, staring intently at the scene unfolding outside.
jeongguk is hidden in the shadows, the darkness of the house swallowing him whole, with every light turned off. maybe thatâs why neither you nor areum notice him.
you donât see him. you donât feel him. youâre too caught up in the moment, too consumed by your own desires, unaware that the man that put you in that same condition is standing so close, watching.
jeongguk traces your every move with his intense gaze. he studies how your face dips down at every new question, how your smile seems just a little too tight, too forced when listening to the stories, the ones that make you shift uncomfortably in your chair.
if you donât notice it, he does almost immediatelyâ the way the attention in the circle shifts toward you.
the glances thrown your way become layered with a subtle curiosity, laced with something that looks like concern. but then, in the eyes of a few, jeongguk catches a faint trace of judgment.
itâs there, in the tilt of their heads, in the way they exchange fleeting looks with one another, as if they sense your unease and interpret it as something lesser. something they can pick apart.
his jaw tightens as he observes, that familiar protective instinct stirring within him. it makes his hands twitch by his side. he stays rooted in place.
eventually, the moment you clearly seem to dread the most (it doesnât take a genius to know. itâs written on your face. or maybe, he got so used to studying you. it comes easy to him. knowing you,) follows.
it makes you want to vanish into the thin air caressing your legs, the way the question is put out with intent, an only pretending-to-be-careful tone wrapping it, all pairs of eyes instantly directed in your direction.
ânever have i ever⊠had sex.â
you feel trapped, a momentary panic bubbling in your chest as you reach for your cup, hesitant. the rim hovers near your lips as you avoid every expectant glance, taking the smallest sip you can manage.
a murmur ripples through the circle. you canât decipher it, too busy feeling the heat spread across your face. itâs only later that you realize no one else drank. the question had been crafted specifically for you, a silent test.
lara exhales, a teasing smile playing on her lips, âwoah, i was getting worried for a second there, ___.â
you barely have time to react before areum steps in, her voice sharp in your defense, âwhatâs wrong with never having had sex, either way?â
ânothing, butââ
youâre not sure why you speak, and why you choose your speech that way specifically. you cut in before you even realize what youâre doing, driven by a sudden urge to explain yourself, an unshakable need to clarify forcing itself up your throat, âi only took a small sip, though.â
the groupâs collective curiosity spikes, attention zeroed in on you like never before. you feel itâ everyone waiting for you to continue, to reveal something youâve kept to yourself until now. so, you give in, words tumbling out against your better judgment.
you clear your throat, straighten your back against your chair, your tone evasive, âi technically am not a virgin, butâŠâ
the expectation drips from every person around you, their wide orbs trained on you, and for some reason you continue, gulping audibly before providing them with an explanation they donât deserve, âwhen weâ did it, he um⊠he got his tip in, butâ god, this is embarrassing.â
âcâmon, tell us!â
you sigh, pressing forward with the humiliating truth, âhe came, like, two seconds after. so, i felt nothing.â
the laughter that erupts is immediate, your friends covering their mouths in shock and amusement. you can only chuckle nervously, shrinking in your seat with a deep, liberating exhale.
yunjin pats your shoulder beside you, âthatâs so sad, babe. we need to find you a real man.â
a strange sense of relief courses through you, the adrenaline from finally being acknowledged and validated by your friends swelling within, and you quickly learn how the buzz spreading to your body after taking part in sharing one of your experiences awakens you significantly.
you donât know why, but you keep talking, oversharing, feeding into the newfound attention, âoh, iâve been waiting for one in particular.â
you quickly become the center of attention for different reasons than the previous ones, now. their curiosity flares again, eyes wide with excitement as they beg for more details. who is it? tell us!
their voices overlap, but you dismiss them all with a playful shake of your head, giggles bubbling up as you try to evade their questions.
but just as quickly as the moment came, it fades when you glance to the side, and your smile drops.
jeonggukâs eyes meet yours immediately.
the intensity of the gaze knocks the breath from your lungs, the air thick between you as time seems to slow.
heâs been watching the entire time, arms crossed, the muscle in his jaw tensing as his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. thereâs a quiet frustration etched into his expression, a subtle irritation with your friendsâ behavior. but itâs more than that. thereâs something stirred by your confession.
your inexperience. your innocence. the untarnished parts of you heâs only beginning to realize he wants to corrupt.
the truth is, heâs known for a long time. longer than heâd like to admit, really. but heâs never let himself feel it fully until now.
it wasnât something that hit him all at once. no, it crept up on him slowly, over the months. heâs always known you were beautiful, in that distant, untouchable way. youâre his daughterâs best friend, after all.
but he couldnât help his eyes from lingering on you a little too long when youâd come over to hang out with areum, how his heartbeat would quicken up when heâd let himself be coddled by the warmth of your helping actions, the way his muscles would tense when heâd catch sight of you lounging by the pool.
heâd been good at keeping it under bay. but you werenât subtle, not even the slightest. your fleeting glances, your breath hitching whenever he was near, your clothes putting you on display for him. it all made it harder.
even more when youâve been nothing but the proof that angels exist, and at some point he convinced himself you were sent on earth to fill the void he felt his whole life, with your unconditional care towards his daughter and your pupils widening whenever theyâd land on his.
and earlier, in the kitchen. heâs used to being in control, but the way you responded to his presence, to the compliment he gave you, had moved something deep inside him.
maybe it was seeing you tonight, all grown up and standing there in that dress, hugging your figure deliciously. how you carried yourself, confident yet unsure, mature yet untouched.
hearing you talk about your inexperience, about that brief, awkward encounter with a boy who clearly didnât know what he was doing. watching you squirm under your friendsâ teasing questions, witnessing how you tried to explain yourself.
itâs like it all clicks into place for him. and for the first time, heâs letting himself acknowledge it.
jeongguk wants you.
he knows itâs wrong. so wrong. heâs never felt this way about someone so much younger than him, and yet, the need to be the first one to truly touch you, to show you what it means to be wanted by a real man, makes his blood run hot.
itâs dangerous, the way these thoughts take hold of him now. maybe itâs the way youâve changed lately, stepping into womanhood but still holding onto that wide-eyed innocence. or maybe itâs him. maybe heâs the one whoâs changed, his resistance crumbling little by little.
he feels disgusting. selfish, his stomach swirling with nerves. dirty, his fingers twitching and begging to free his insides from such feelings.
but thereâs simply no ignoring it anymore, no pretending like youâre just areumâs friend. that boundary he set in his mind is starting to blur. heâs old enough to know better, but old enough to know exactly what he wants.
your eyes widen with terror, meeting jeonggukâs own hardened gaze. he wants to tell you, wants you to know, but the way your startled expression lingers in his narrowed eyes makes him hesitate. it fills him with uncertainty, an unfamiliar feeling, one he rarely contends with.
the moment is abruptly interrupted when one of areumâs friends, an older guy sheâs met through her dadâs colleague, crashes into you from behind, draping his weight over your shoulders.
you struggle not to stumble forward, holding yourself on the arms of your chair while you look to the side, and immediately try to pull away when you realize the unwanted proximity.
but itâs hard, youâre weaker than the boyâs embrace, holding you still and wiggling his eyebrows, his tone playful as he ruffles your hair, âis it me?â
the people around you laugh, the sound light and carefree, but the way your body stiffens, the clear discomfort in your eyesâ jeongguk notices.
and he also notices (reluctantly) the ugly feeling making space in his stomach the more that guyâs face moves closer to yours. his jaw twitches, the muscle at his temple ticking.
he canât just stand there doing nothing anymore.
the sudden sound of the door to the garden opening catches everyoneâs attention, and your gaze flies over in that direction.
jeongguk steps out, his presence commanding, and your expression drops. areumâs eyes grow wide, instantly sensing something wrong in the way her father is looking at the scene. his eyes are too dark, too sharp, and if no one else detects it, you and his daughter surely do.
still, the taller boy behind you moves up again, taking a step back from your seat, and jeongguk seems to reserve him a look you find hard to decipher. itâs firm, heavy with a warning.
âareum,â he calls, his voice calm but edged, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
sheâs quick to move toward him, and you canât help but try to listen in on what heâs saying to her.
but the voices of your friends rise again, loud and boisterous, filling the space with chatter, drowning out any chance you had of overhearing.
you sigh, and when you return to your slumped position on your chair, you canât ignore how all the girls around you are sneaking glances at him, their giggles piercing through the air as they whisper among themselves.
jeongguk has always had a certain effect on people, and tonight is no different. you hear some of their comments, but they donât fully register in your mind.
all you can focus on is the bitter feeling rising in your chest.
you bite the inside of your cheek, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress. it sickens you, the way you have to share the image of him with everyone else.
you wish only your eyes had been granted the gift of looking at him, of admiring the way his shirt stretches across his chest or how his hair falls perfectly, even when tousled.
but instead, heâs a spectacle for everyone to enjoy, and you hate it.
when areum returns, sheâs slightly slumped over, her energy deflated. behind her, mr. jeon stands with his arms crossed, a small, condescending smile tugging at his lips.
areumâs voice is low as she announces, âthe partyâs over, guys.â
the subtle groans of disappointment echo around you as your friends try to protest, giving up when met with no possible negotiation. they then gather their things, saying their goodbyes and slowly trickling out, only after trying to argue about it.
once the last guest has left, itâs just the three of you, left to clean up the remnants of the night in the dimly lit garden.
jeongguk barely looks at you. his focus is elsewhere. on the mess, on areum, on anything but you.
as you bend down to gather some empty cups, you steal a look at him again. heâs helping clean up too, though his motions are deliberate and slow.
itâs silent for a while as each one of you picks up their own task. teamwork seems to be efficient, every area of the backyard slowly regaining its original aspect.
until areum yawns dramatically, stretching her arms above her head as she makes her way over to you and her father. she mumbles, blinking heavily. "âm so sleepy."
jeongguk raises an eyebrow, glancing at the still-messy garden, some leftover cups and plates scattered across the tables, and the chairs strewn about from the night's festivities.
he teases lightly, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement. "oh, really? youâre just gonna leave all this mess behind?"
for a moment, the weight of his words hangs in the air. you and areum both freeze, glancing at each other with wide eyes, unsure if heâs serious. the pause is brief, but itâs enough for tension to rise in your chest.
but then, jeonggukâs lips curl into a soft, knowing smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
âjust kidding,â he chuckles, his tone warm now, the joke clear. âgo sleep, câmon. itâs past your bedtime.â
areum sighs with exaggerated relief, rolling her eyes before stepping forward to wrap her arms around her dad in a loose hug. she mumbles into his chest, âiâm not a kid anymore, dad. i donât have a bedtime.â
he chuckles with a lightness that was foreign to you until that moment, and he leans down, pressing his lips gently to the top of her head, his voice low and tender as he whispers, âwhatever you say. happy birthday, reumie.â
itâs such a simple moment, nothing grand or elaborate, but the intimacy of it, the quiet affection between father and daughter, makes your heart clench.
you watch them with stars in your eyes, completely captivated by this rare portrayal of vulnerability from mr. jeon. heâs always been the composed, collected man in the background of areumâs life, but here, heâs just a father, brimming with love for his daughter.
you almost feel like an intruder witnessing such a private exchange, but you canât pull your eyes away. every detail â his hand softly resting on her back, the delicate warmth in his eyes, the way his voice softened â it all paints a picture of a side of him youâve rarely seen.
you want to be part of it, too. want to bask in his love, the one he keeps hidden but the same one that shapes him whole. that fills him from head to toe, never spilling, always quiet. makes him the brave man you only know through your best friendâs admiring eyes, never from his words.
he doesnât like talking about himself, but youâd kill to know what truly goes through his mind, even for just a second. youâd gladly find a house in his brain, and youâd pay rent and everything.
when areum finally pulls away and turns to you, her expression sleepy but content, she asks, âyou coming with me?â
you hesitate, glancing at the mess still surrounding you. you speak with a small, reassuring smile, only looking at your friend, âiâll be there in a minute. i wanna help clean up first.â
she just shrugs, already too tired to argue, and heads inside. jeonggukâs eyes follow her briefly before flicking back to you.
his lips part as if he wants to say something. maybe to insist that you shouldnât stay, or that you should go inside too. but the words never come. instead, he watches you silently for a second longer, before turning his attention back to the garden.
now, itâs just the two of you.
the quiet between you isnât uncomfortable, but itâs heavy. the subtle hum of the night seems louder now without the chatter of party guests, and the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze fills the air as you move around the small round tables, readjusting the chairs.
youâre trying to focus on the task at hand, but your mind keeps drifting back to mr. jeon. to the protective edge in his tone earlier, to the way heâs been looking at you tonight.
but then, in your distraction, you clumsily trip over your own feet, your breath catching as you stumble forward.
before you can fall, though, a strong hand grips your arm, steadying you instantly.
âoops. careful, little one,â itâs jeonggukâs deep voice murmuring close to your ear, the warmth of his touch grounding you.
your face flushes immediately, the heat spreading across your cheeks and down your neck.
âsorry,â you whisper, glancing up at him through your lashes, feeling ridiculously small under his intense gaze.
âitâs okay,â he instantly replies, his tone so gentle it almost makes your heart falter.
silence falls again, but this time, itâs thicker, and maybe even uncomfortable. you both remain still for a moment, his hand loosely gripping your arm, and you feel yourself burn where his fingers rest. his thumb brushes your skin lightly, a subtle, almost imperceptible gesture, but itâs enough to make you gulp audibly.
finally, he releases you, stepping back slightly, but his eyes never leave yours, "thanks for making my daughter happy today. i really appreciate that. i appreciate you."
the words catch you off guard, your breath hitching at the sincerity in his voice, deeper, almost too revealing.
your mind races, trying to find the right words to respond, but all you can manage is a stutter, âoh. iââ
his voice is firmer when he gently cuts you off, âgo sleep now. iâll finish here.â
you want to protest, but the way heâs looking at you â his dark eyes locking onto yours, holding you in place even with his hand now by his side â makes it impossible.
thereâs something about the way heâs speaking, like heâs being careful with his words, almost spelling them out, making sure youâre paying attention to each one, âif you need anything, you know where to find me. yeah?â
you swallow hard, nodding slowly. his gaze is unwavering, and it feels like heâs saying something more than just the words themselves, something you canât quite grasp yet. you stammer, âright. yes. iâiâll⊠goodnight.â
âgoodnight.â
itâs not exactly a good night for you. in a sense, maybe it is. you always welcome dreams like these when they decide to visit. but right now, it feels more than a little awkward.
worst timing ever. youâre lying next to areum, the daughter of the very man whoâs making you wet with just a few flashes of imagery dancing behind your closed eyelids.
at first, itâs soft, almost serene. you see a beach, engulfed in warm, blurry tones that blend together like watercolors left to bleed in the sun. the sea is flat, unmoving, and glimmers like pearls under the flaming light.
a weight presses down on your exposed thigh. the sensation feels so vivid that it pulls you deeper into the dream, and as you glance down, you instantly recognize the large, familiar hand resting there.
jeonggukâs hand. his left one. on the fourth finger, a gold ring.
when you lift your head, his face greets you with a wide, unusual smile. his hair is wet, slicked back as if heâs just come out of the water, droplets clinging to the tips.
but the softness of the look he gives you is replaced by something more dangerous, more daring. he bites his lip, and you see it.
a double piercing sits on the side of his mouth, the silver studs gleaming as he plays with them using the tip of his tongue. your breath catches in your throat. you donât just see it there.
on his eyebrow, a matching piercing catches the sunlight, giving him a rebellious edge.
you remember them from old pictures areum showed you once. jeongguk, in his younger days, rougher, wilder, and undeniably charming.
it must have left a deep impression on you because your subconscious has dug it up now, weaving it into this dream. deep in your slumber, you unconsciously whine.
his hand kneads the soft skin of your leg, and his grin stretches wider, eyes crinkling into familiar crescents, but with an edge youâve never seen on him before.
"you wanna take another bath?" his voice is husky in your ear, filled with suggestion. heâs leaning in now, closer, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your skin.
your throat feels dry, your pulse quickens, and before you can say anything, his hand slides higher, fingers grazing the hem of your swimsuit. his breath fans over your face, and suddenly, the sea behind you isnât the only thing that feels like it's burning.
"come on. just you and me."
before you can even think to answer, your surroundings shift. the beach, once hazy and peaceful, morphs into something more private.
youâre no longer in the open air, but sitting at the border of his pool, both your feet grazing the warm water.
jeonggukâs hand is still playing with the laces of your bikini, and heâs slow and teasing as he pulls one of them. when he fully undoes it, youâre bare in front of him.
but he doesnât look down just yet. he keeps staring in your eyes, his smile gone now, replaced with something more serious, more focused.
jeongguk leans closer to your ear, his lips brushing your lobe, and it feels way too real when he whispers, âlet me make you feel good.â
itâs with a jolt that you wake up, the low sound still echoing in the depths of your brain, and you struggle to take in your surroundings at first.
on your right, areum is sleeping soundly, even snoring softly. you'll tease her about it in the morning.
but if the thought initially puts a smile on your face, it morphs into a frown when you register the reason why youâre now awake, and you brim with guilt.
you have to get away from your best friend. need to get away from your brain, if possible. wash it all with a glass of cold water.
you make sure not to cause too much noise as you slowly sit up, the covers falling from your figure and the air welcoming you with goosebumps on your skin.
your naked feet tentatively touch the ground and you force yourself to stand on them, padding on the floor and exiting the room, gently closing the door behind your shoulders.
at first, you only hear it. faint, muffled noises; fussing; heavy panting; groans.
you blink rapidly, convinced your hazy brain is still cozily wrapped around the blankets, finding it hard to let go of the images that had flashed behind your eyelids and adapt to the new state of consciousness.
but as you make your way to the stairs, the sounds get closer, and more vivid. itâs not just your mind playing evil games, anymore.
itâs shushed moans, and eager whines. and they seem awfully close to how youâd always imagined mr. jeon would sound like. in that situation.
having lost control over your own brain a long time ago, it feels like youâre now being ordered around by it, no freedom of choice whatsoever.
your feet move on their own, following the source of that delicious music, and you swear your eyes get teary with joy when you find that the door was left ajar.
you feel delirious. the small gap is more than enough to give you a view into what you never thought youâd have the honor of witnessing: the man of all your desires has his hand wrapped around the base of his cock, squeezing it, then dragging it up and down in slow movements that you just know are torturing him, from the way he harshly bites his lower lip, to the way his furrowed eyebrows almost meet at the bridge of his nose, eyes focused on his doings.
nonetheless, he loves it. his mouth opens every time he brushes the tip of his thick dick with his palm, releasing small whines, followed by quiet moans when he uses his other hand to play with his balls.
he cusses repeatedly, then grips his base and halts his movements. only to go over the punishing pattern again, bringing himself closer to the edge then retraining when he feels like stepping over it.
the sight of mr. jeon edging himself makes your knees weak. it takes over you physically, you genuinely have to find support in the wall beside you.
you need to be there with him. you need it to be your hand; need him to guide it just the way he likes it; need him to teach you how to please him. his groans make your head spin, and you need to get closer.
youâre not thinking when you instinctively take a step towards the slightly open door, but when you do, the floor cracks under you.
youâre paralysed. in the silence of the house, wrapped in night time, the otherwise small sound is amplified, and he stops his hand.
with the little power you still possess over your actions, you move your back to the wall beside the door. your breaths are ragged, too overwhelmed with the mixture of fear and lust, and you think of running away to hide but a huge weight is chaining you down, and you find yourself unable to move.
you can only register fussing from the other side, the soft thump of his feet on the floor and the door opening alarmingly. when he looks to the side, heâs met with his expression mirrored on your small face, your eyes wide but willing themselves to keep looking in his.
if you were to look down, youâre not sure you could keep yourself composed, knowing his cock is hard and unattended in his pajama pants.
â___? what are you doing up?â his voice quickly takes on the calm that characterizes him so well, instilling some of it in your startled figure.
still, you stutter all throughout your answer, making it clear what you just spied into with the way your face changes color, âiâ water. i wantedâ thereâs no, huh, water in the fridge.â
mr. jeon does a weak job at hiding the confused amusement on his features. nonetheless, he nods, a small grin on his lips while he says nothing, just walks to the stairs and makes his way down them. you follow hastily, careful not to trip.
thereâs plenty of water in the fridge, but he doesnât question it. he takes out a bottle and pours a glass for you, sliding it over the counter.
you take the smallest sip, afraid you might choke with the way he stands facing you, staring so intensely into your orbs.
when you put the still full glass down, he smirks. you see his hands gripping the edge of the table in front of him, ânightmare?â
the depth of his voice translates into heat pooling right in your lower stomach and staining your shorts. youâre a mess just from the blurred sight of him. you shake your head, âmore like⊠a weird dream.â
he smiles fondly, having to break the prolonged eye contact and look elsewhere, his grip getting tighter and his patience wearing thin.
he wonât be able to control himself much longer if he doesnât get out of this kitchen, especially with the effects of your effortless charm flooding down his pleading dick.
youâre in front of him, eyes full with a feeling that scares him, only the counter dividing your bodies, and youâre wearing the tiniest satin shorts paired with a white tank top that leaves little to the imagination, the cut dangerously low and your nipples evident through the material.
heâs a gone man.
his eyes no longer anchoring you, your gaze automatically travels to where you shouldnât be looking, for your own sanity. but the outline of his cock is so delicious, it makes your mouth water with want.
youâre not sure if itâs your own eyes deceiving you, but you swear you can see it throb, and at that moment you realize heâs not wearing any underwear. just thin, loose pants covering his length.
you gulp, clenching around nothing. you feel him sigh, and the sound makes your head spin with greater force.
he looks back at you, but youâre too enthralled by your current view, the effects of it almost completely shutting out your hearing and your rational thinking, as you round the counter and leave his words hung in the air, âiâm sorry for⊠what you probably saw. shouldâve closed the door.â
apology silently dismissed, or simply ignored (why would he even apologize for blessing you with such an unforgettable sight?) you now stand next to him. as he turns to you, youâre faced with his chest, and you have to bend your head upwards to meet his curious eyes.
your body has long forgotten to trust the thin amount of rationality that could still be found in your brain, and thatâs how you find yourself leading your hand to cup his cock through his pajamas.
his face is stoic, staring at you intensely. he doesnât startle, doesnât gasp, doesnât move away. but you feel him. if the contact does something to him, he doesnât show it. he keeps looking down at you, in your eyes.
then, he speaks, his voice steady, âwhat are you doing.â
youâre suddenly aware of your actions, and you fall victim to them, feeling small because of his stern, composed gaze while you melt under it.
your voice is frail, barely a whisper, too weak to sound as convinced as you truly are, and your words come out slurred, âwanna help you.â
he doesnât break, doesnât seem affected by your desperation, but his pupils are blown out, knuckles white from grasping the counter, âyou already did enough.â
your hand is still on his dick, unmoving. no one dares break the moment, though. if anything, being this close to him, feeling him while you both search for something in each otherâs eyes, is only spurring you further.
you get on your tip toes, your perky nipples brushing against his chest, your voice low while you tilt your head to the side, âwhat were you thinking of? iâll be that for you.â
immediately, his hand flies over yours. he doesnât move it, just holds it still. the look in his eyes is a lot darker, his eyelids droopy, his jaw clenched, âstop this.â
the electrifying spark that buzzes you the moment you feel his skin travels from your hand to your whole body, and it significantly weakens you.
you donât know if you fall to your knees because they genuinely give up on you, but itâs how you find yourself facing his hardness, your eyes never leaving his glossy ones, highlighted by the dim light shining through the curtains of his kitchen.
â___. get up.â thereâs a tremor in his voice, and the hand that was blocking yours now falls by his side, twitching.
you see it in his eyes. sense it in the tension of his muscles. heâs holding back. but you donât want him to resist you.
âplease,â your beg is muffled and quiet, your nose brushing against his length and following a torturous path that makes him hiss.
he groans deliriously, willing himself to tear his orbs off your big, pleading ones staring up at him, but he doesnât do anything to move you away.
âfuck,â the chuckle that follows is feverish, his body on fire with the forbidden, but so wanted touch, âdonât make me have to reject you, doll.â
âyou donât have to,â youâre unexpectedly quick in your answers, your conscience coming back to you but letting it be taken over by a dark feeling, the one that makes you kiss his tip through the thin material, and lick along his length, finding his eyes, âi want you.â
jeongguk inhales, his lower lip bleeding with the harsh biting, and he swears his knees are shaking with the effort of keeping even the slightest, thinnest thread of sanity intact.
he wishes he could stop you. knows he should. but he canât. he can only watch as your slim fingers hook under the hem of his light pants and lead them to pool down his ankles.
the way his cock springs free and brushes your smooth, pure face makes him huff out a deep exhale, his jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed as he takes in your eyes widening at the sight of his length.
mr. jeon is long. and thick. heâs veiny, and perfectly shaved. it looks almost unrealistic, but heâs in front of you in all his glory and he throbs. leaks pretty precum to coat his angry tip.
he doesnât know how he manages to speak, especially when you look up at him through your droopy eyelids, pupils blown and tongue ready to take him.
his voice is rough, as if it wants to stay stuck in his throat, but he forces one last warning out, â___. donât do it.â
any and all kinds of inhibitions are nonexistent the moment you attempt a kitten lip at his wet tip, and the simple action makes his head fall backwards, a way too loud growl escaping him.
his breaths are heavy, broad chest moving with them as he looks down at you again, too tempted to look elsewhere.
he curses as soon as he does, his lust-filled orbs swimming in your equally craving ones, and he believes this view is crafted by the hands of a god, not slightly comparable to anything his mind came up with back in his room, not too long ago.
the reason why heâs gotten rock hard under his covers, itâs you. the yearning he couldnât suppress anymore, the hunger making him salivate, the need to be consumed by your love, the desire to be touched by you, to be cured by your innocence, only to taint it.
heâs thirsty, wants to drink all of you in. wants to finally have you, taste you, feel you. heâs tired of fighting it.
jeongguk doesnât know how to decipher his heart doing literal flips in his chest when you fully take his cock in your mouth, and he lets out a sound heâs never heard his own self ever produce.
itâs high-pitched, whiny, delirious, and it leads himself to subtly push himself forward, to bury his length in your throat.
you inevitably choke at the new sensation, your eyes fluttering shut to keep the tears welling up under your eyelids from spilling out, but you go relentlessly, just as hungry.
you tentatively bob your head up and down his length, messily taking him as best as you could, probably accidentally scraping him with your teeth a few times, and you try to make up for it with your swirling tongue, slurping thirstily.
he almost coos at your eagerness, and as badly as he wants to bask in the sensation, having to keep himself from pounding into your mouth, he holds your silky hair in a ponytail and gently pushes you away.
when you find him again, your eyes are glossy and your eyebrows drawn up with worry.
you donât want this moment to end. you donât want your insecurities to be proven right, donât want him to ward you off, to still think of you as nothing more than a childish girl with an evident crush. youâre on your knees for him to finally see you.
jeongguk instantly reads your thoughts.
his voice is quick to sooth you, a sweet smile painting his face with an expression you rarely see on him. itâs soft, just like his voice, âcome up here, angel.â
you want to listen to him, want to follow his every order. but youâre not sure how to when heâs regarding you with a care youâd never thought would be directed at you, one that empties you of any strength. when the pet name rolling off his tongue that easily seems so natural, you want to think itâs all heâs ever seen you as.
with a delicate tug at your hair, he leads you on your feet again. but youâre weak, your chin falling on his chest as you look at him through your lashes like heâs hung every single star in the sky.
his hand leaves your locks only to cup your face, promptly helping you stand straight to study your features.
if he didnât know better, heâd say youâre high off the strongest substance you could find. your pupils cover your orbs in a dark, wide circle, a lazy smile on your pink lips as you let yourself be handled by him, no control over your body, almost falling over his bigger one again before he steadies you by your hips.
he lets out an amused chuckle at the state youâre in because of him, and he hopes you know just how much youâre affecting him, too. he wants to swallow you, pill after pill, overdose on you.
when heâs sure you donât need his help keeping you still anymore, leading your palms to rest on his wide shoulders, he takes your face in his big hands and forces you to swim in the intensity of his gaze.
his words are spoken slowly, a low whisper fanning over your lips, âif i kiss you now, i wonât be able to control myself anymore.â
your eyes jump relentlessly between his own orbs and his mouth, the latter winning the battle when you fixate on it, and speak just as weakly, âplease, kiss me.â
you barely manage to get the words out before jeongguk is all over you. he devours you, pushing your lips open and finding your tongue, playing with it in a mess of slick and heavy breaths.
his fingers travel through every angle of your body they can find, pulling your face impossibly closer by your nape, leaving goosebumps along your bare arms wrapping around his neck, falling down your torso and squeezing harshly as they rest by your sides.
your moan is inevitable when his palms reach down the curve of your ass and shove you against him. you feel his hardness meet the softness of your lower belly, his wet tip poking at it and making him hiss on your lips.
he does his best to swallow all your sounds, your muffled whines and whimpers his favorite meal as of now. itâs a wince of slight pain that you let out as he positions you in between his body and the counter, the border pressing on your lower back.
when he moves from your kiss, even with your lungs being unable to breathe anymore and begging for a break, your head follows his movements to try and bring him back on you again.
the chuckle he lets out is almost belittling, the right side of your face being completely engulfed by his palm to put distance between your mouths, his other hand keeping you still by your waist, and his own hips push against you.
you quickly glance down to where your bodies meet, and you whimper when you take in the way his cock is just above your core, his balls brushing against your clit. you only need to lift yourself a little forward to fully feel him.
but itâs like he instantly knows whatâs making your head spin, his grip tighter but still mindful not to hurt you. the sudden squeeze has your eyes finding his, feeling ridiculously smaller under the weight of his heavy gaze.
he makes sure you keep your whole focus on him, and as much as registering the way your orbs are glossy with anticipation and desire is making him almost regret his next words, he lets them out, steady but soft, in your face.
âyou had your fun, baby. now, youâre going to listen to me. hm?â
this time, your reaction comes promptly following his request. youâre hanging from his lips, tracing their every move and sound, immediately nodding at the order.
but itâs not enough, and jeongguk ensures to sound a bit firmer, âuse your words.â
âyes, mr. jeon.â
the way your response rolls off your tongue with seemingly no hesitation, your pupils still on his, the words you choose to say, make him let out an amused chuckle.
your eyes widen, and he drinks in your state, cheeks flushed and lower lip trembling. you need to bite it in order for it to stop shaking when he narrows his eyes, his left palm rising from your hip and finding its way under your top, his remark making you startle, âyouâre such a bad girl. arenât you?â
jeongguk makes up for the way more tears seem to well along your bottom lashes by cupping your small breast in his larger hand, swirling his thumb around your nipple, and you need to fight against the loud moan traveling its way up your throat, the chocked sound getting stuck as your mouth hangs open, your eyebrows furrowed.
but it only takes some more of his degrading tone for you to let out an unashamedly loud noise, his fingertips pinching your nipple, âcalling me that only because it gets you off. doesnât it? youâre not so innocent after all, princess.â
he quickly swallows your sounds with his lips on yours, and both of you canât help but hum lowly at the contact. jeongguk thinks he could keep kissing you for hours on end. but he badly wants to feel every other inch of your body, too.
unexpectedly, the kiss gets broken when he turns your body around with ease, your back now pressing against his front, and you steady your shaking figure by planting your hands on the counter.
the access to your ear comes effortlessly, he just needs to bend his head down to cover your height difference and make sure his whispered words meet you as close as possible, âiâll give you what you want. but you need to be quiet and good for me, understood?â
youâre not sure if you should use your voice or stay silent, but your body doesnât give you the chance to ponder over it before letting out a whiny yes. youâre not exactly being quiet, but can he blame you?
the man youâd get to talk to for more than five minutes only in your dreams is now promising you heâs going to give you what you want. and his cock is perfectly nestled in between your ass cheeks. youâre positive youâll have to throw your shorts right in the bin after heâs done with you.
though, the scoff resounding in your ear makes you regret not even trying to lower your volume. you really want to be good for him. donât want to disappoint him.
thatâs why when he taps two fingers under your chin, without him having to express it for you, you part your lips open, tongue out. from the corner of your eye, you see the side of his face scrunched with a long dimple before he shoves the digits inside your wet mouth.
you instantly wrap yourself around his thick fingers, coating them in your warm slick, and you can tell itâs affecting him with the way the hold on your hip tightens, and he shifts between your thighs.
with your tongue swirling around the two digits, your eyes search for his face. looking up at him through your lashes, you clench around nothing when you take in the effortless way he towers over you, his body engulfing your whole smaller figure.
the sinful eye contact leads him to spur you on further, his voice rough with desire, âthatâs right. suck on them like you would my cock.â
you hum deeply at the encouragement, fluttering your eyelids shut as you energetically bob up and down along his fingers. you think you can still feel the taste of his precum lingering on your tongue, and you whine, wishing you could have him again.
the noise gets cut from your throat when he forces his digits out, the slicky sound lustful, and it makes him groan lowly.
with his other hand, he delicately pushes your head forward to bend you over the marble counter, the same one where hours ago he passed you his glass of wine to take a sip from.
the surface is cold against your cheek and heâs out of your vision as he stands straight. not being able to see what heâs doing, the expression on his face as you lay folded for him, makes the anticipation flood even stronger in your veins.
you feel him pull your shorts down enough to reveal yourself to him, hear him hiss as heâs enthralled by the way your pussy glistens, all for his eyes to admire.
the curse that follows is instant, âfuck. no panties?â
youâre embarrassed for your straightforward bareness, whimpering at his surprise with your fist tightening and your nails imprinting crescents in your palms, but youâre also so impatient to feel his touch.
tentatively, you wiggle for him, hoping to brush against his length, but itâs to no effort as he instantly stills your movements with a hand on your lower back.
he scoffs incredulously, feeling your bare ass against his palm, âitâs like you knew this would happen. you dirty, naughty girl. always giving me those eyes.â
itâs light, the spank that meets the side of your butt, but you gasp nonetheless. you need to bite your lower lip harshly in order to suppress the loud moan from escaping your throat, and youâre sure it bleeds when he softly strokes the spot he hit.
the hand soothing you now travels to your front, torturously putting pressure on your sensitive stomach and following a slow pattern, only to reach your wet core.
he finally touches you where youâve been needing him the most, and you both groan when he uses his already soaked pointer and ring finger to spread your lips, his middle one tracing your slit.
you inhale deeply as he repeats the motion, and when you exhale you canât help small whines from leaving you, the pleasure already too overwhelming.
you feel like passing out when his body weight presses on you again, his mouth directly on your lobe, the intention in his voice dripping on your skin, âyou think i wouldnât notice? you know how hard my cock gets everytime i see you in these tiny clothes of yours, huh? youâre quite literally the death of me, doll.â
then, itâs like all your senses come back to you the moment he pushes his digit in, and he immediately reaches around you to put his other hand over your mouth the second he sees it opening, your eyes rolling up.
you scream in his palm, the sound muffled with his fingers tightening under your jaw, his body still leaning on yours.
he whispers sweet nothings in your ear and stills his middle finger inside you, getting you used to his presence, âshh, princess. good baby, youâre doing perfect.â
the contrast to his earlier shaming tone only makes you whine more, your eyes squeezing closed to try and keep the noises in. youâre sure you bite his palm when he starts moving inside you, the finger curling tentatively and soon being joined by another one.
you shake your head weakly, feeling yourself reach delirium, and you manage to stammer out, âcanâtâ canât do this.â
âyou can baby, câmon. you wanna be a good girl fâme, donât you?â his tone is still low, warm breath fanning over your nape, and you melt under the sudden change in attitude.
you nod, not because you believe you can actually get through this without your heart failing and the whole neighborhood hearing you in the process, but because you do want to be his good girl.
âsay it.â
âwanna be goodâ your good girl.â
he hums, âthatâs right. i need to stretch you out if you want to take my cock.â
you choke in his wrap, now looser around your face, surprised at his words, and you clench hard at the mention of his cock inside you.
you throw your head backwards in search for more of his proximity, and you mumble nonsense, your brain completely melted, âyes! want your dick.â
âi know you do, little one,â with your head nestled between the crook of his neck, his hand now falls to your throat, and he holds you gently by it while his fingers pick up a faster pace.
heâs ruthless as he moves them inside you, effortlessly finding your sweet spot with a curl of his long, tattooed digits, and you whimper at the foreign sensation, unable to moan like you really want to.
you feel like screaming the more he keeps going, the only possible reaction to what is happening to you. one moment ago you were dreaming of this, and now itâs your reality.
mr. jeon is fingering you and calling you his good girl. his large figure is behind your smaller one bent over the counter, his palm around your throat, his hard length pressing against your ass.
the moment he uses his thumb to flick at your clit, you arch your back into him and you hear him fight to suppress a surprised moan.
âshit. youâre so impatient, sugar. dripping around my fingers. wanna taste your sweet juice, can i?â itâs a rhetorical question, hushed slurredly in your ear, because after he lets it out his fingers leave your hole, and find a new home on his warm tongue.
he purposefully moves your chin to make you a witness of his sinful action, humming deeply around the taste of you, his eyes fluttering shut, his digits popping out drenched.
your mouth hangs, your tongue unconsciously peeking out as if asking to be made a participant, but jeongguk only smirks and stands straight once again, his wet hand leaving another light spank on your ass cheek, âturn around, sweets.â
you do as asked, making sure your palms are still steadying your weight on the counter now behind you, afraid your legs alone wonât be able to.
but you soon find out you wonât have to put much effort into that when jeongguk lifts you with ease and sits you on the surface, your slickness meeting the cold marble.
you donât have to lift your head to look at him anymore, your heights now the same. but finding yourself directly in front of his hardened gaze makes you feel even more intimidated.
especially when he traces your inner thigh, his eyes never leaving yours, âevery time you stand up to leave after dinner, you always leave a puddle on my chairs. and iâm left to clean it up.â
you swallow audibly at the accusation, and you can feel your eyes water once again, biting your lips to conceal the shame.
he only grins amusedly at your state, the tip of his tongue coming out to play with his lower lip. the hand on your leg now forces it to move to the side, his face only getting closer to yours, his tone deeper, âiâve thought about licking it up, you know? but then i always stopped myself, because i knew iâd get to taste your pretty, wet pussy.â
you gasp, a shaky moan leaving you uncontrollably, and your fingers hover over his figure, wanting to find support in him but unsure whether to touch him.
he finds your mouth with a short kiss, almost reassuring, but heâs back to spitting sins the moment he lowers his face between your spread legs, and the way he looks up at you is almost scandalous.
he looks devilish, his orbs visible through his lashes, his tongue wetting his lips. he takes your uncertain hand and places it between his tousled hair, directing himself to you, instructing you how to use him.
he presses a peck above your clit, still drinking in your reactions, his smile wicked, âi knew youâd crumble soon. you little minx. going after your best friendâs dad. so naughty.â
your head is thrown backwards at his words, ones that only add to the pleasure that takes over you when he latches at your pussy, the wet sounds ungodly.
the shame and guilt mixing in the back of your mind generate a profane sense of bliss youâd never think you could reach, and even though deep down you feel dirty being confronted with the truth he sputtered out so easily, you canât help getting off to it right now.
jeongguk is ravenous as he finds your drenched lips, lapping furiously at them and drinking the juice that continuously drips out.
he flicks the tip of his tongue up and down your swollen clit, and your hand that he himself put on top of his head now tugs at his curls, forcing him closer to you.
heâs trapped, your legs squeezing around his head, his nose nuzzled in your slit, and he canât stop the hand that reaches to stroke his pleading dick.
you think you hear him mumble something along the lines of taste so good as he teases your hole with his wet muscle, and youâre a gone woman the moment you look down, your eyes fluttering open.
his own are closed, brows furrowed in deep concentration, his nose relentlessly grinding against your sensitive nub, and the way he seems so affected by the act of pleasuring you breaks something inside you.
you feel it begin to crumble when his tattooed hand reaches up to lift up your top just enough to expose your breasts, nipples hardening with the cold air and the stimulation, and they hurt deliciously when he starts kneading at your boobs, fondling them with care.
the deep hum generated from his throat vibrates against you, and the flick of his thumb around the center of your tit matched with the way your clit is being continuously abused unexpectedly leads you to your orgasm.
itâs fast, unannounced, and you find support in his hair, your body taking over your brain and relentlessly grinding against jeonggukâs face, suffocated between you, unable to stop reaching for the heavenly, and so awaited high.
your whines are frantically high pitched, but the moment he feels you cum all over his mouth everything around him disappears except you, and all he cares about is slurping you, drinking you as you let it all out because of him.
he pants, breathless, opening his eyes to witness your climax, to admire you breaking under his doings, chest swelling with pride and a primal sense of protectiveness.
when he hears you whimper the more he keeps sucking on your clit, your slim fingers pulling at his locks, he finally lifts himself up.
on the path he follows to come back up to meet your face, he finds your nipple with a sweet kiss, his tongue teasing your nub, and he smiles against it, teeth gently pinching it, when seeking with his eyes for your reaction he sees your own rolling back.
next, his mouth is on yours, smearing your wetness all over your lips and mixing it with his spit on your tongue, connecting in a frantic, hungry dance.
his forehead is on yours when he breaks the kiss, his breaths heavy, the lazy grin on his face the only thing you can focus on, hanging on his gentle words, âdid so good, pretty. came so hard all over me.â
your eyes inevitably fall down to his cock, painfully hard against his stomach, the tip angry and slicked with precum.
you feel your core buzz, kissing him to conceal the unshameful desire building up so fast again, but still you canât help from mumbling against him, âwanâ you to fuck me.â
the hum of pleasure coming from his throat reverberates on your lips, and he smiles at your confession. even chuckles, one hand resting at your hip and sliding you closer.
âthat what you want, baby?â your legs wrapping around him, he kisses along your neck and travels down to your collarbones, leaving small bites to keep himself from marking you like he truly wants to.
he slips his palms under your thighs and lifts you off the counter effortlessly, and you squeeze your hold tighter around him in order to keep yourself balanced.
the new position has his cock perfectly meeting your core, your slit brushing against his tip as he walks you two over the living room couch, his mouth promptly swallowing your whimpers.
when he lays you on the sofa, he straightens himself to fully admire you. youâre sprawled for him, your hair framing your head like a halo, the sweat pearling your forehead adding to your angelic state.
your hands are on either side of your face, fingers dainty and slender, and your tank top is lifted up enough to show him your small breasts, slightly spilling from the sides.
your shorts still rest under your ass, and with a swift motion he fully takes them off you, giving him access to your center.
but the attention is taken away from your wet cunt when he lets his eyes come back up to your face, your cheek resting on your shoulder, trying to hide your embarrassment at his ravenous observing.
he smiles, becoming impatient with the feeling that only grows inside him, and he walks out of his pants still pooled down his ankles, taking off his loose t-shirt and letting it fall on the ground.
your eyes widen at his sculpted physique, now finally in front of you, his buff dimensions intimidating you, especially when your orbs follow his v line and put you face to face with his huge cock, so close to your watering hole.
he teases it with his length, sliding it up and down your slit, then slapping it against your clit. you arch your back, groaning.
âam i the real man youâve been waiting for? you wanna be fucked by this big man, donât you?â his sinful words only make you nod dumbly, becoming potty under his control.
at your eagerness, he wastes no time. aligning himself with your hole, he enters you. the stretch is deliciously painful, his tip boldly splitting you open for him.
he knows your wail is coming, so he lowers himself on you to block your sounds with his mouth. but heâs the one that needs to be silenced.
the moment he feels your tightness around his bare dick, he growls. his sounds grow more desperate as he sinks himself deeper, the grip on your waist enough to wreck you, and youâre expecting it to leave a mark.
you hum roughly against his lips, your nails scratching along his shoulder blades in search for any kind of grounding you can find.
itâs too much, his dimensions way oversized for what your hole can take, and the fact that you canât help but grip him even tighter isnât helping.
he reads you, your broken whines and the tear falling from your left eye, and the moment he bottoms out he stills himself, his face in the crook of your neck, his nose nuzzling the warm skin in a reassuring manner, âshh, baby. i got you. let me make you feel good.â
the whispered words are the same ones that jolted you from your sleep, the dream almost too real, and paired with his middle and ring finger circling your sensitive nub they cause you to emit a pleasured squeal, your chest arching into his.
at this point, youâre afraid youâre still trapped deep in your slumber. that none of this is actually real, it canât be.
youâre so convinced that itâs just too good to be true that you test it, scraping your nails harshly in his back, and when he bites the skin under your jaw in protest you gasp shakily.
itâs definitely real. jeongguk is fucking you. almost. not yet.
with the way your clit is being stimulated by his long fingers, the initial sharpness turns into more slick, and you impatiently groan, âfuck me, please.â
one final kiss is left on your lips before he lifts his torso up, his hands roaming along your sides and grasping a hold of your tits.
he teases you with a playful smirk on his face, your disappointed pout only resulting in a devilish chuckle from him as he massages your soft boobs.
but you can feel him throb inside you the more you swallow him in, and you know heâs just as impatient. you buck your hips up in search of friction, and the sudden motion makes the both of you moan.
heâs suddenly resolute as his palms fall to your waist and effortlessly hold you up as he begins fucking into you. with each stroke he picks up his pace, and heâs soon pounding your tight hole wrapping around him.
the two of you soon find out itâs impossible to be quiet. your sounds are stuttered and pornographic, and it makes jeongguk afraid heâs never going to be able to get them off his brain.
his own noises are heavenly, deep growls and surprised whines falling out his pillowed lips, slightly agape in bliss, brows drawn up.
your eyes roll back and never come back, your vision patched, and you think you werenât build to survive this kind of pleasure. itâs almost deathly when he finds that one particular spot that makes you see stars.
your skin slapping is louder than his hushed speech, but he makes sure the words reach you and translate into wetness coating his length even more, drenching it, making it soaked in your juices, âthatâs how you need to be fucked. thatâs how my girl needs to be fucked, hm?â
âmhm, fuck, yes!â itâs breathless, but you want him to hear you. you feel yourself get closer just watching him smirk proudly at your state, his pupils blown out.
his palms are back to playing with your breast, kneading it harshly, and you enjoy the way he seems to be hypnotized by the vision, âfuck. love your tits. fit just right in my hand. you were made for me, princess.â
your head is thrown back between the cushions, your legs wrapping around his ass and pushing him even deeper, the anticipated sensation building simultaneously in both of your trembling bodies.
âiâm not gonna last long, baby. this pussyâs too tight. trappinâ me inside it,â jeonggukâs voice is rough, the words leaving him slurredly and all his effort put into snapping his hips against yours, his eyes focused on the relentless in and out motion.
you wail, mumbling nonsense, but at the same time the most sincere words youâve ever sputtered to him, âitâs yours, jeongguk. fâfucking yours. forever. ahâ fuck.â
he hums, feeling you contract around him the more he speaks to you, âthatâs it. my pussy to fuck, angel. mine to play with, mine to fill up.â
your eyes widen at his territorial remarks, and when they meet his hazy ones they water with overwhelming ecstasy.
the possibility of his cum filling you up is what does it for you, your nerves undoing once again and making you spasm around his throbbing dick.
he talks you through your abrupt orgasm, praising you for cumming so good all over him, drinking in your blissful sounds and your hips rutting against his.
heâs just as close, and the realization that you came the moment he mentioned painting you in his seed makes him a crazed man, his motions stuttering sloppily, âfuck. arenât you a naughty one, doll. you really want me to cum inside you? you want it, huh? i bet you do.â
your repeated nodding and the way your body is so pliant in his hold, letting it be completely handled by him with no functioning muscle, pervades his senses with a primal force that he puts all into fucking your sensitive cunt.
he smirks wickedly, âyouâd look so pretty. all stuffed. want me to fill up this tight pussy? want my mature cock in so deep you canât breathe?â
you think you scream at his continuous suggestions, but you canât be sure when all your senses are clouded, the oversensitivity turning you into a literal doll for him, no power over your actions.
he looks just as fucked out, his lips parting as he basks in the feeling of being in control of you, his eyes fighting to stay open and keep you in his vision.
when he feels you contracting around him in overstimulation, his breath stutters and he feels himself reach the peak, quickly pulling out of you to spill his cum over your naked skin.
you gasp at the sudden emptiness and the warm liquid that keeps falling over your stomach, his cock being pumped in his fist and milked from all he can give you.
you both pant in exhaustion, your legs loosening their grip around him as he dips his weak knees on either side of you on the couch.
he hums when he fully takes in your figure, marked by his cum, and he smiles when he sees your eyelids struggling not to fall.
but you spasm once again when you feel his finger slide over your stomach, the wet liquid being collected, ânow, you gonna clean this up for me. open your pretty mouth, baby.â
you donât even ponder on the request, you just follow the order. your brain is reduced to thoughts that are only related to him, and it automatically complies to anything that he asks from you.
you engulf his digits promptly, swallowing his semen, looking up at him through your lashes and unashamedly clenching at his lazy smirk.
he makes sure every drop of his is collected and sucked by your hungry mouth, smiling when you donât ever complain, âmh, good girl. get them neat.â
when heâs satisfied, he hovers over your face and finds your tongue in a sensual, slow kiss, both of you moaning at the exchange.
with a sloppy sound, he parts from you only to disappear between your thighs, his eyes mischievous, âgonna clean you up, too.â
you gasp at the feeling of his mouth wrapping around your core once again, slurping your juice and lapping at your inner thighs, and youâre not sure how this is going to help in getting you clean. you only feel yourself becoming even wetter, if possible.
leaving a kiss above your nub, he straightens up with a boyish smile softening his features, and with the fond way heâs looking at you, nobody could tell he just made you cum twice.
he moves your bangs from your forehead, closing the distance between you once again to leave small pecks over your still reddened face, âyou did amazing, doll. made me cum so hard.â
you hum contentedly, snuggling closer to him, your body unconsciously gravitating toward his warmth. your hand lifts to thread through his hair, but before you can touch him, he shifts, pulling away.
the warmth he provided vanishes, replaced by the cold emptiness of the couch. panic surges in your chest, washing away any remnants of fatigue. you prop yourself up on your forearms, eyes tracking his movements.
you donât want him to leave you here alone, bare and vulnerable, maybe a bit confused and uncertain, and deep down deathly scared of whatever will come after this.
your brows furrow, heart picking up a painful speed when you see heâs getting dressedâtossing on his shirt, pulling on his pants. and for a second, your heart clenches with dread. is he leaving?
but then you notice him picking up your shorts from the floor, his expression softening as he walks back to you with that same gentle smile that had made your heart flutter earlier.
relief washes over you.
he handles you delicately, as though youâre something fragile. his fingers brush your skin as he slips your shorts back on, pulling down your top before encircling your waist with his strong arms.
you squeal lightly when he pulls you onto his lap, settling back on the couch with you cradled against his chest. his hands never leave you, securing you to him.
you settle into him easily, sighing in appreciation as the warmth of his body returns, your legs draped across his lap, arms circling his neck.
for a brief, fleeting moment, everything feels like itâs in its right place, like this is where youâve always belonged. it feels so natural, so easy, being wrapped up in him.
his deep, slow breaths lull you into a state of calm. his chin rests on the top of your head, his hand rubbing soothing strokes along your spine.
you press even closer, breathing him in, feeling like you could get used to this, like you already have. like youâve always known this is where you should be.
your fingers trace absentminded patterns along his tattooed arm, the one holding you secure under your legs. you feel the need to look at him, to admire the man that marked you as his.
but when you glance up, youâre a bit startled when you notice the shift in his expression. his face is hardened, jaw clenched tight. heâs not relaxed like he was just moments ago. his gaze is distant, staring intently at a spot across the room as if lost in thought.
yet his hands continue to cradle you, almost unconsciously, like holding you has become second nature to him.
but his mind is a whirlwind of emotions, and they only scatter all over the place as he feels you move closer, impossibly so.
you seek warmth, care. nuzzle your fragile body against his for protection, something more that he fears he canât give you. love.
he once thought heâd drained himself of it, had nothing left to offer. but now, with you in his arms, the smallest spark flickers to life, burning its way up his throat until it feels like itâs going to consume him.
he wants to give in. he wants to hold you tighter, trap you against him, keep you with him. give you love.
but he canât do that to you. canât make you go through the same path that took everything from him. not without ruining you in the process.
he knows what comes next. love turns into suffering. itâs inevitable.
and could he survive seeing the look on areumâs face if she ever finds out? how would she react if she knew the truth about what heâs done, about how he feels? about how he truly wants to act upon his feelings?
the thought makes him feel sick, even as his heart beats steadily against yours, comforted by your presence.
but why doesnât he feel disgusted? why isnât there shame gnawing at him, making him pull away? thereâs only bliss. the sheer joy of having you this close, of holding you like this, makes him forget everything else.
he wishes he could be immature, for once. wishes he was your age, and that nothing truly mattered. that he still could allow himself to make stupid decisions.
maybe then, youâd feel right in his arms, and reality wouldnât catch up to him.
âjeongguk? are you okay?â
your soft, honeyed voice pulls him from his spiral, and he startles slightly, caught off guard. his eyes meet yours, wide and filled with concern, searching his face for answers.
he tries to hide the storm brewing inside him, forcing a smile, but it doesnât reach his eyes. âhuh? yeah. iâm okay.â
of course, you donât believe him. an ugly feeling makes space in your stomach, and the weight of everything begins to press down.
you donât want it to take over you just yet, want to be coddled by the illusion a little more, want to try and believe thereâs nothing to be afraid of.
you offer a tentative smile, hoping to ease whatever tension is growing between you. âyou⊠you seem worried.â
âiâm not, baby. iâm just thinking.â
âabout?â
âstuff.â his voice is clipped, and the small wall heâs building between you becomes clearer.
the distance stings, and your heart sinks as you try to hold onto the moment that felt so perfect just a second ago. desperate to reach him, you place your hands on his face, tilting his chin down to meet your gaze.
your eyes jump all over his, but you manage a genuine, if small, smile. âyou can tell me, you know. you can talk to me.â
one simple, small smile spreading across his lips makes you doubt all of your worries. it makes you want to believe that maybe, thereâs truly no reason to be scared. that maybe, this can go well.
âi know,â itâs whispered on your face, his hand coming to play with the hair that frames your cheeks sweetly. âletâs get you to bed now, hm?â
before you can protest, heâs lifting you off the couch with ease, cradling you in his arms bridal style as if you weigh nothing at all. you clutch onto him.
you feel your insides fuzzy with the gesture, and you wiggle yourself closer in his embrace, looking up at him expectantly, âyour bed?â
it breaks his heart having to disappoint you, tone firm as he tries to make up for it with his thumb brushing your thigh, âno, baby. you gotta go back to areumâs room.â
âbutâ but⊠i wanna sleep next to you,â you plead, your voice small and almost childlike as you pout up at him, hoping to sway him.
he looks away, focusing on the stairs as if looking at you would break his resolve. âwe canât, dove. you know we canât.â
his words feel like a punch to the gut, and your voice hesitates. âwe canât?â
the silence that follows is louder than any answer he could have given, and it weighs heavy between you, suffocating. thereâs no actual explanation to it, and the realization leaves both of you uneasy.
at areumâs door, he sets you down gently, making sure youâre steady on your feet. heâs careful with you, like he always is, his voice low, âgo wash up. iâll see you tomorrow, okay?â
ânoâŠâ
âcâmon, sweetheart. donât make this harder.â
you frown in protest, keeping eye contact, but he doesnât break. his gaze is steady, resolute.
you want to argue, want to push, but the exhaustion settles over you, and you slump, defeated, but you still sway sweetly for him, your hands tied behind your back, âokay⊠can you kiss me?â
your voice is small, muffled behind your pout as you seek for him with anticipation, a shy smile making its way on your lips.
when he doesnât move closer, you get on your tippy toes and lean in his direction once again, your eyes almost fluttering shut before you hear him clear his throat, and take an awkward step back.
youâre back on your heels with a thump, the same one reverberating in your chest with your heart falling, your mouth hanging open with confusion written all over your expression.
you go to say something but heâs quicker, his voice solemn, âgoodnight, ___.â
jeongguk smiles, but itâs nothing like the ones that took over his whole face just minutes ago on the couch, his eyes full of you. youâre not even sure if you can define it as a smile.
itâs polite, almost too polite, and it only results in feeling tremendously distant from him. heâs completely disconnected from you.
he retreats, long legs carrying him away, his back to you as he slips into his room. the door clicks shut behind him, the sound final, and it echoes in the hollow space.
you stand still, the weight of his absence pressing heavily on your chest. the spot where he left you feels like a grave, your feet sinking into the cold floor as if itâs pulling you under. the warmth he offered, the fleeting sense of safety, is gone, and youâre freezing.
you try to breathe, but the air feels sharp, your throat tight with the effort to hold back the tears welling in your eyes. itâs useless, though.
your bare feet shuffle against the floor, but you canât move forward. you canât go back. you canât do anything except stand there and feel the weight of it all crash down on you.
youâd been so afraid this would happen. how could you have been so foolish? even in the midst of the sweetness, you knew it was too good to be true. a part of you always knew.
and yet, you let yourself believe for a fleeting moment that something real could come from it. that you could be enough.
youâd have done anything to prove it to him. to show him your loyalty, your willingness to make it work. you still would. youâd give him every part of yourself, if heâd only take it. if heâd only look at you the way you want him to.
the full weight of your reality sinks in. in the end, none of it was truly real.
a sob breaks free from your chest, raw and painful. the sound echoes in the quiet hallway, bouncing off the walls that now feel oppressive, like theyâre closing in on you. this house, every corner, itâs all stained now, tainted by the lie you let yourself fall into.
and you? you feel tainted, too.
#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook au#jungkook imagine#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook x female reader#jungkook x original character#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#dilf jungkook#bts x reader#bts smut#bts imagines#bts fic#bts#older
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"helloooo lyla!! ive been reading your fics for a long time and I love them sooo much your such a great writer!
I was wondering if I could request jeonghan saying âmarry meâ in the middle of a rough sex?? ive been thinking about it for ages omgđđ (if your comfortable Iâm not forcing!! <3)â
jeonghan saying âmarry meâ in the middle of a rough sex
warnings: smut, penetrative sex, cockriding, crying, needy moans
it wasnât like you ever imagined that jeonghan, of all people, would let that slip. not when heâs got you riding him like youâre racing to some invisible finish line, his hands gripping your hips so tight itâs like heâs afraid youâll disappear. you barely register the words at first, too caught up in the rhythm, in the filthy sounds coming out of both of your mouths, but then it hits youâ
âmarry me,â he breathes out, like a fucking confession, strangled and wrecked.
you freeze, body tensing. âwait, what?â
the room goes dead silent. the only sound left is your labored breathing. and his. and the stupid creaking bed under you both. you choke on your own spit, damn near swallow your tongue trying to process it, and jeonghanâs eyes are wide now, just as shocked as you. his face is this violent shade of red, cheeks flaming, and you swear you can hear his brain short-circuiting.
âiââ he stammers, looking away like thatâll save him from the mess he just made. âshit. i umâfuck.â
your brainâs doing cartwheels trying to catch up, but it doesnât take long for the absurdity to hit you. you start laughing, like actual laughing, trying to hold it in but completely failing. you double over, one hand resting on his chest as he groans, embarrassment swallowing him whole.
âwhat the fuck did you just say?â you tease. âriding you so good you gotta wife me up, huh?â
âoh, shut up,â he groans, slapping your back in retaliation, though itâs more out of embarrassment than anything. his face is still red as hell, lips pressed together like heâs praying the earthâll open up and swallow him whole. but the way heâs looking at you... that little crack in his usual cocky, rough persona has your heart doing this weird, fluttery thing in your chest.
ânah, nah, hold on,â you mock, starting to move your hips again, slow and teasing, feeling the way he twitches underneath you. âyou really justâfuckâasked me to marry you?â
his hands snap back to your waist, that grip turning punishing. âi swear to god, donât start.â
âwhy not?â you grin, feeling bold. âyou mean it, hannie?â
âyou want me to stop?â he asks, threatening, but you can hear the edge of it, the desperation heâs not quite able to mask. his hips buck up into you, almost instinctively, and you moan, losing some of your playful edge as your body melts back into his rhythm.
you bite your lip, trying to hold back another laugh. âdidnât say that.â
âgood,â he hisses, grinding up into you harder, making sure you feel him. âthen donât fuckinâ tease me.â
but now, all you can think about is how real it feels, how intense his gaze is, and suddenly, his usual roughness feels... different. more desperate. heâs not just trying to make you moan, not just focused on his own pleasureâheâs unraveling, for you. âyou didnât answer me,â he mutters, words slurring together as you pick up speed again, each bounce making the bedframe shake. his hands are gripping your thighs now, pulling you down harder onto him, like heâs chasing something.
âhuh?â you barely manage, mind spinning, trying to focus on anything besides the overwhelming feeling of him deep inside you.
he bites his lip, eyes glued to where youâre connected, his voice dropping to a low, shaky whisper. âsay yes.â
you blink down at him, heart skipping a beat. heâs serious. fuck.
youâre not even thinking when you say it. âyes. i-i do.â
itâs like a switch flips. he lets out this soundâthis needy, broken moan, and fuck, youâve never heard him sound like that before. he sits up, practically yanking you down to meet his thrusts, arms wrapped tight around your waist, face buried in your neck. the pace is brutal, desperate, and youâre a mess of gasps and moans, every single one drawn out by the intensity of it all.
you donât realize heâs crying until you feel it, those warm tears soaking your skin as he buries his face deeper against your shoulder. heâs shaking, breath hitching, but he doesnât stop moving, doesnât stop giving it to you exactly how you need it.
âfuck, youâre mine,â he whispers, voice wrecked, wet, needy. âall mine.â
you can barely respond, every nerve in your body on fire, but you clutch him tighter, fingers digging into his back, matching his rhythm with everything youâve got. âyours,â you choke out, and thatâs all it takes for him to fall apart completely. heâs holding you so close itâs like heâs afraid youâll slip away, fucking you like heâs staking a claim, making sure you never forget this moment.
and then he cums, hard, dragging you over the edge with him, the two of you tangled in each other, breathless and whiny. jeonghan pulls back just enough to look at you, tears still clinging to his lashes, but heâs smiling nowâthe prettiest smile youâve ever seen.
âmarried to me, hm?â you tease heartily caressing his hair, panting, but your chest is warm, full.
âbaby.â he groans, face contorting ready to cry again, making you chuckle, he pouts, burying his face in your neck again.
but you donât miss the way his arms tighten around you. you donât miss the way he holds you like heâs never letting go.
#seventeen headcanons#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt imagines#svt smut#jeonghan smut#jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan fanfic#jeonghan x y/n#jeonghan x you#yoon jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan fluff#yoon jeonghan fanfic#yoon jeonghan x you#svt reactions#svt#svt x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fanfic#seventeen angst#seventeen au
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12th House Sign in the Natal Chart and How you can Heal and Find Closure from Past Wounds đ©”
materialistđ
DISCLAIMER : healing is a journey, not a destination, and everyone moves at their own pace. these tips are here to give you a nudge, not to create pressure or perfection. if youâre reading this and some things resonate, thatâs wonderful :) take what feels right and leave the rest. and remember, thereâs no one right way to heal or find closure. itâs okay to stumble, feel lost, or take a break. trust that every small step forward, even the tiniest ones, are part of the process. be kind to yourself along the way; youâre doing the best you can đ©”
𧩠aries in the 12th house
1. youâre bold in action, but sometimes hesitant in introspection. reflect on fears you might avoid and tackle them directly, like you would any challenge.
2. pent-up frustrations weigh on your subconscious. try activities like boxing, painting, or writing letters youâll never send.
3. give yourself time alone without needing constant action. Silence and stillness help you get in touch with buried emotions.
4. reflect on times you acted quickly and accept that growth often means making mistakes.
5. indulge in something silly, like playing a game or watching cartoons. It helps you reconnect with yourself. watching your comfort movie with your favourite snacks will surely help
HEALING TIP : try journaling with a twist : write letters to yourself from different ages, like your 5-year-old self or your future self, to see your emotions from new perspectives. this could be super cathartic for you and help you move through the hard feelings holding you back also try meditation that is targeted towards inner peace
𧩠taurus in the 12th house
1. learn to release your hold on past pain. Healing for you often means loosening your grip on comfort zones, even in memories.
2. reflect on areas where youâve felt unappreciated, finding self-worth from within rather than external validation.
3. you resist change, so make small, gradual adjustments to your daily life that invite healing over time.
4. practice acceptance of things you cannot control or predict; even small, symbolic acts like letting go of a token can help.
5. revisit an old hobby that once brought you joy, like gardening, knitting, or cooking. itâll remind you of your inner peace.
HEALING TIP : try a sensory grounding exercise: touch something soft, listen to calming music, and smell something grounding like lavender to soothe your mind and body. also something that can temporarily help is watching a super scary movie or just eating spicy food, it can help you distract yourself from your thoughts, at least momentarily
𧩠gemini in the 12th house
1. your mind runs fast, but your 12th house challenges you to slow down and acknowledge buried insecurities.
2. release old narratives, whether itâs past gossip, harsh words, or regrets, let go of thoughts that weigh you down. Practice rephrasing past stories with kindness.
3. try creative outlets that let you express emotions without words, like art or dance, to connect with deeper feelings.
4. when you socialize, make time for connections that feel supportive and honest, without intellectual posturing.
5. quieting your inner monologue helps you access the quiet truths below the surface. Breathing exercises can help here.
HEALING TIP : try recording voice memos on your phone when you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes saying things out loud can help you make sense of them faster than writing.
𧩠cancer in the 12th house
1. you tend to tuck away your deepest fears. Make time to reflect on past emotions without judgment or the need to âfixâ them.
2. address any unconscious attachment to people or situations that no longer serve you, knowing itâs okay to need change.
3. offer compassion to yourself, revisit times when you felt misunderstood or unsupported, and give your younger self the love they needed.
4. learn to let go without feeling abandoned. Spend time nurturing your sense of self apart from your relationships.
5. forgive old wounds, allow yourself to release grudges or hurts, understanding that they donât define your future connections.
HEALING TIP : write a letter to someone from your past youâve never fully moved on from, then release it (you donât have to send it).
𧩠leo in the 12th house
1. step back from needing validation, explore who you are outside of praise or recognition. spend time with yourself, just being rather than performing.
2. acknowledge areas where you might have felt rejected or unappreciated. practice self-love that doesnât rely on othersâ feedback.
3. try activities where youâre a beginner. learning something new can help you find power in vulnerability.
4. let go of ego-driven fears, focus on what makes you feel genuinely fulfilled, not just admired. reframe your goals around personal joy rather than approval.
5. reclaim your authenticity by exploring what brings you joy outside of an audience, like a private creative hobby that brings you peace.
HEALING TIP : try visualising your inner child, close your eyes and picture yourself as a child full of hope and joy, and send love to that younger version of you.
𧩠virgo in the 12th house
1. acknowledge that some things donât need fixing. practice letting go without feeling the need to control every detail.
2. practice self-compassion, allow room for mistakes and honor your efforts without focusing solely on flaws. embrace your progress, not perfection.
3. stop overanalyzing (ik itâs hard but your overthinking is what causes majority of your problems, the more you overthink the more power youâre giving to those unwanted thoughts) give your mind permission to take a break. activities like meditative gardening or painting can help soothe the inner critic.
4. connect with your intuition, trust your instincts rather than rationalizing everything. allow yourself to simply âknowâ without overthinking it.
5. embrace the chaos haha, let things be messy or spontaneous without judgment. Flexibility helps you grow beyond rigid expectations.
HEALING TIP : try writing a list of what youâre grateful for, it's a simple but powerful tool to shift your focus from worries to abundance.
𧩠libra in the 12th house
1. find comfort in solitude, learn to enjoy your own company, separate from othersâ opinions or companionship. practice inner peace.
2. let go of past people-pleasing, allow yourself to address buried feelings of resentment that may stem from overextending for others.
3. balance your inner harmony, focus on inner alignment rather than external harmony. Journaling or meditating on your needs helps you center.
4. heal relationship wounds, reflect on past connections that left an impact. release blame, knowing each taught you something valuable.
5. set boundaries with yourself, give yourself permission to say ânoâ without guilt. embrace your inner balance, free from othersâ demands.
HEALING TIP : you can try a heart-centered meditation to connect with self-love and release neediness for outside validation or try a balance-focused yoga routine, it can be both grounding and soothing, helping you connect with your inner equilibrium.
𧩠scorpio in the 12th house
1. embrace your emotional vulnerability, lean into your feelings without fearing loss or control. Sharing emotions helps relieve hidden weight.
2. release grudges (ik this is something hard for you but letting go is better than holding on to the things that cause you problems - forgive but donât forget perhaps), practice forgiveness as a way of releasing old hurts that drain you.
3. face your darkest worries with courage, knowing they donât define you. Write them down and let them go.
4. reclaim personal power, youâre literally THAT bitch donât forget that queen, focus on how you can empower yourself from within, instead of seeking control externally.
5. trust others with your feelings when it feels right; vulnerability can be deeply healing.
HEALING TIP : you can try shadow journaling by exploring both light and dark thoughts to understand yourself more deeply or if you want something fun instead try listening to a mystery podcast or an immersive story app where you can dive into thrilling narratives. this helps you tap into your emotional depth while being entertained, offering healing through mystery and intrigue.
𧩠sagittarius in the 12th house
1. look inward for meaning, sometimes answers lie within, not in new experiences. find fulfillment in self-reflection rather than escapism.
2. explore spiritual grounding, sagittarius craves meaning, so find practices that connect you to a sense of purpose, like guided meditation.
3. release judgment and let go of self-criticism about past âmistakes.â accept that growth is a journey, not a fixed outcome.
4. embrace introspection by giving your adventurous mind permission to slow down and find contentment in stillness.
5. cultivate patience please (so so important) you may be prone to quick fixes; practice patience with yourself and your journey to healing.
HEALING TIP : start a personal travel vlog (even if it's just to document your local adventures) or use digital journaling apps to record your thoughts, dreams, and philosophical insights. Itâll allow you to process your emotions while in a fun way <3
𧩠capricorn in the 12th house
1. release pressure to always be âonâ, let go of needing to achieve every moment. Itâs okay to just âbeâ sometimes, without a goal in sight.
2. forgive your past mistakes, address any old guilt youâre holding onto. youâre allowed to grow beyond your old decisions and learn without punishment.
3. embrace vulnerability (very important) being open about your feelings doesnât weaken you; it strengthens your ability to understand and trust yourself.
4. trust lifeâs timing, not everything has to be perfectly planned. lean into moments of uncertainty and find peace in simply experiencing.
5. reflect on your worth beyond productivity, spend time exploring who you are outside of what you âdoâ or âproduce.â
HEALING TIP : try weekly self-check-ins to connect with your needs and desires, away from the hustle of daily demands.
𧩠aquarius in the 12th house
1. embrace your quirks and shadows, you have a unique mind, so allow yourself to be different even in your struggles. reflect on hidden fears and accept them.
2. let go of needing to understand everything, release the need to overanalyze or intellectualize every emotion; trust that some things are just felt, not solved.
3. balance independence with connection, donât isolate yourself too much. healing also comes through genuine human connections.
4. explore spontaneous introspection, give yourself the freedom to meditate or journal in unconventional ways, like painting or singing.
5. lean into self-compassion, you may be hard on yourself for being âtoo differentâ or processing wounds and hurts âdifferentlyâ but learn to embrace that unique perspective as your strength.
HEALING TIP : try creative expression exercises that bring your thoughts to life, like freeform art, dance, editing, posting stuff online (blogs, reels etch) or sound journaling helps too.
𧩠pisces in the 12th house
1. set healthy boundaries with emotions, your empathy can pull you into othersâ feelings. spend time differentiating between your own emotions and theirs.
2. give yourself closure without finality, understand that sometimes closure isnât perfect or neat, and let go of needing every question answered.
3. create a soothing retreat, build a healing environment, like a cozy corner or blanket fort lmao, where you can escape and connect with your inner peace.
4. release victim mentality, move beyond past hardships by reclaiming your personal power and seeing yourself as a survivor, not a sufferer.
5. TRUST. YOUR. INTUITION. youâre naturally in touch with the unseen. lean into that gift by tuning into your feelings without judgment.
HEALING TIP : create a healing playlist filled with calming music, or even soothing ASMR sounds, to help you unwind and feel safe in your own space.
© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]
banner & pic credits to the rightful owners <3
#astrology#astrology notes#astro notes#synastry#astrology blog#synastry observations#astro community#composite#astro blog#astrology observations#astrology works#astro basics#astro observations#vedic astrology#astro placements#12th house synastry#12th house#aries#scorpio vibes#capricorn#lilith in the houses#lilth#asteroids#pluto#moon astrology#synastry astrology#houses in astrology#venus astrology#north node#tarot cards
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Give Life Another Chance
Summary: He had always had your back when he was Robin. He'll always have your back even as an Outlaw
Word: 3.9k
A/N: Finally did Jason's version of childhood friend to lover trope! *Also part of Winter Series: Day 5
Soft, black curls and a smile that could win the hearts of millions- there were so many good points you probably shouldâve noticed first. But having been kicked out of the orphanage again and preoccupied to find a safe place to sleep on the streets for the night, your mind was slow to process that you were just saved from being jumped by Robin. So, your brain chose to point something else out as it registered. Like how haughty he was being with both hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised as he had asked why a kid like you was out in the street this late.Â
âYouâre short.âÂ
ââŠSeriously? Instead of a thanks you tell me Iâm short?âÂ
You were going to ask him if he had any plans on denying what you had just said when one of the thugs on the ground let out a groan.Â
âLetâs go!âÂ
Quickly, boy wonder wrapped an arm around your waist before using the Batarang to pull the two of you up one of the near-by buildings. Surprisingly, you never once let go of him nor scream as he swung from one building to the next. Was it from trust? Survival instincts? You donât know. The next few minutes blurred as two teens continued to swing from building to building until he finally landed in front of a 24/7 burger place.
âWha-where-â
Where did he get the cap he plopped on your head from? When did he change into the hoodie and sweatpants? Your head was spinning from so many unanswered questions that he was practically dragging you into the restaurant with a firm yet gentle grip around your hand. Shuffling you into a booth, he sat across from you and ordered two sets of the same burger meal.Â
You both sat there quietly until the food came out.Â
âArenât you going to eat?â Robin asked, noticing you hadnât touched your food yet.Â
You blankly blinked at him then at the food in front of you. Slowly, you reached for the burger and took a bite. Then another. You take the napkin he offered across the table to wipe your mouth and cheeks from both the food stains and tears while eating.Â
By the time you finished, you both were slurping on your soft drinks, stuffed and satisfied.
âWell?â He asked, his eyes behind the domino mask trained on you.Â
â⊠Why?â He mustâve expected you to ask him from the shrug he gave.Â
âYou looked like you needed it.âÂ
You looked like you needed it?Â
âYou were planning to sleep out tonight werenât you? How were you going to do that on an empty stomach?âÂ
âIâŠâ You paused for a moment, fiddling with your thumbs. âIâm used to it.â
He didnât cue you or pressed for answers. It was all on you, spilling everything youâve gone through from how your parents had abandoned you at age four from being chased by loan sharks to how you were continually being kicked out of each orphanage you enter for accidentally catching the employees embezzling funds meant to maintain the place.Â
The one question he did ask was about school. He didnât pursue further when you told him everyone knew your clothes were from hand-me-downs and the Salvation Army.Â
You appreciated how he didnât offer words of faux sympathy, simply muttering with an âI seeâ. You were curious what expression he was making though as he had his head turned toward the window and the hoodie pulled over his head blocked your view.Â
Once the glasses were emptied, you both headed out.Â
âDo you have any friends at your school?âÂ
You werenât taken off guard anymore, finding yourself adapted to your current situation.Â
âNo.â
âThen head to this place. Itâs nicer compared to all the others you were placed in.âÂ
Unexpectedly, an address for somewhere in the nicer neighborhood of Gotham was neatly written on the napkin.
âYeah, and how am I supposed to get there? Have them let me in? Itâs not like I have a social worker or anyone whoâll fill the paperwork for me.âÂ
âItâll be fine. Just take the bus and walk there. Once you get there, just give them your name and then, theyâll let you in.âÂ
It was suspicious to say the least. At the same time, you didnât have anything to lose.
âThen you have to promise to come visit me tomorrow.â Childishly, you stuck your pinky out at him. â âCause if you donât, itâll be your fault Iâm dead.âÂ
âYou arenât going to die,â he snorted, yet wrapped his pinky around yours. âIf anything, itâll be a step forward to make life a bit better.âÂ
He was right. Life did get better when you arrived at the written address. With no hesitation despite the time of your arrival being past 1:00 AM, a kind woman welcomed you in and helped get you situated. For a week, you were busy getting used to the new environment where everything and everyone was⊠well, normal. None of the other kids looked as if they were struggling or waging war for survival. The adults were attentive and fostered healthy maturity.Â
It helped that Robin had decided to visit you every night rather than just the next day. Along with checking in that you were okay, he listened to everything you had in your mind. The struggles, the challenges, the confusion from how none of your past experiences couldâve prepared for this big of a change. In a good way of course.Â
Too bad the visits became less frequent once you started going to your new school. He mentioned about getting in trouble for not focusing on his patrols the last time. Your disappointment mustâve been evident when he proposed to do the âpen-pal thingâ. Using how you mentioned youâd do anything to thank him on the promised night as an excuse, he apparently had been wanting to do it but didnât have anyone until you.Â
Thatâs how you ended up leaving your window open ajar every night, having slipped a letter between the slim gap between the sill and the window itself and getting one back the same way, same place.
School on the other hand was eventful. Your only friend was Jason Todd, who, you had to admit, put in a lot of work to get close to you. To be fair, you didnât expect someone to approach you all friendly on your first day. There were some hiccups along the way, however you guys managed to get through them and became buddies.Â
There wasnât a day you guys werenât hanging together. Homework was being done at the library, talking about the books you both recently read during lunch. The time you both didnât talk to each other was during class. Unlike you who sometimes found the drawl on Homo sapiens boring, Jason was soaking in all the knowledge with enthusiasm. You once called him school-freak from how much he loved to learn, being in school and exploring the topics the teachers were going over. He retorted that you were mad you couldnât beat him in getting a higher grade during the last exam. You simply snatched his book and ran away with it, not appreciating how he was right.
With Robin during the night and Jason during the day, you were brighter and friendlier. Slowly, yet surely, you were found smiling more and approachable. Your schoolmates and teachers warmed up to you, treating you like one of them. You also had a place you could call home temporarily, where you could relax and enjoy the presence of having somewhat of a family.
The serenity and joy you had ended up lasting for two years. Jason suddenly stopped coming to school. Robin hadnât visited you for a while nor sent you a letter. With Robin, you assumed it was because he was busy fighting criminals alongside Batman. Jason? You got worried about him. You tried to get in touch with him in every possible way you can. You asked the teachers, who were also worried as they didnât know why he hadnât been attending. You used the schoolâs directory book they hand out every year and sent letters to his residence.Â
It was when you got the courage and called his home phone you were given the news. It went from shock. Denial. And then devastation. You felt completely ruined. Your eyes were glass and devoid of emotions when you had gone to his grave, dressed in black, holding a bouquet of red roses (he once said in passing that they were his favorite).Â
Your one friend you made for the first time in life- you refused to believe he was dead. The news reported it was from an incident related to the Joker, making things much harder from the sheer weight of reality. Especially knowing the survival rate of the victims when the notorious villain was involved.Â
You managed to maintain sanity superficially, convincing everyone that you were over it. That you were fine. Never realizing the reason for you to hold on was from the belief that Robin would soon visit you again when he had time or at least take the letters that were growing longer where you switched size of the envelopes multiple times.
Things became complicated when Batman, who hadnât been seen with Robin for so long, made an appearance with him again. Problem was, the Robin next to the older man wasnât your Robin. Instead of soft curls, his hair was silky and straight. The costume was different. The way the new Robin smiled wasnât the same as the other Robin. Your Robin.
During the time Robin wasnât present, you had thought he was severely injured. Hence your expression of concern was always written in your letters, even in the midst of your grief. But what if. Just what if-Â
You wanted it to be not true so much as you matched dates to events. The day of Jasonâs death to around when Robin stopped sending you letters. The day Jason was seen with a cast to the day Robin wasnât present on a mission. It was a cruel, awful joke played by the fates. Your Robin was Jason Todd. And the people- no, person- you loved with every fiber in your heart was dead.Â
Jason, on the other hand, was never really into people back when he was a kid. Helping those in need and bringing justice so those suffering would finally have peace? Of course. He would always do it. Interest in a specific person though? He didnât until he found you walking out and about in the middle of Park Row. Initially, out of empathy from knowing what it was like living in that awful area of Gotham, he was planning to follow you in the case you decided to get your hand dirty and mess with the wrong nest. He was proven wrong and soon changed his assessment of you to respect when he watched you give candy from your bag into the hands of the little kids hiding in the alley. You weren't being dumb about it either, posing it as if you were threatening contrary to what had actually happened. The longer he followed you, the more he saw how knowledgeable you were, knowing when to pick fights and when to keep your head low to stay out of trouble as you walked through the different alleys.
It made him more curious about you, from how you managed to save an adult man from a beating by tripping the assailant with the cover of his sidekick being the one to kick a nearby can. When he read the information he was able to find about you, he felt bitter. It was one thing to live with a dead-beat dad and a drugged out mom, but it was a whole different situation when having to live out in the street without a roof to cover your head most of the time, trying to get by on your own with no adults.Â
He tried to think of something, anything to help you that night, after closing out the files that had been on the monitor in the Batcave. He started out with following you around during patrols and beating up anyone who seemed suspicious or approaching you with ill-intent behind your back. In his spare time, he was figuring out ways to get in a better child-care system considering you were still a minor, just like him. After hearing about his old man sponsoring to open an orphanage in central Gotham, he mustered the courage to put in a favor.
His plan was all set and ready to go once Bruce got involved, all that was left was to get you on board. Lady Luck mustâve been smiling at him when the perfect opportunity arose when he caught sight of some thugs hiding in the alley you were about to pass. That definitely got your attention when the thug that was close to grabbing you by the scruff went down with a thud.Â
He never understood that awful and tragic feeling of seeing someone empty until he saw your eyes. Blank and filled with nothing, not even a spark of resentment or rage. He swallowed the lump in his throat, heart burning from the evidence of how the corruption of Gotham claimed another young victim.Â
âSo, whatâs a kid like you roaming the streets at this time?âÂ
He didnât mean to sound cocky. He was trying to sound normal, mustering the tiny drop of remaining strength in him to not waver when you looked so broken. Doesnât mean he was impressed with your jab though. He had been told by Alfred that he was taller than Dick when he was the same age as him for your information.Â
As he proceeded to help you get another chance with life, it wasn't part of his plan to become besties, even more so develop feelings for you. Sure, when he approached you as Jason Todd, things didnât go well at first considering he knew you but you didnât know him. His civilian self, to be exact. But as he got to know you as both Jason and Robin, he came to know the other side of you. The one with a heart that could encompass the whole world, a mind that had the potential to excel in anything you put your mind into. He constantly worried over the chances of you getting hurt, despite the rough exterior, from being so fragile.
Your letters reflected this as there were times your vulnerability appeared in writing on your thoughts of others. Yes there was hatred and annoyance but always in the last paragraph, you express your desire to understand rather than to exact revenge. You wanted to give them a chance and connect, not resent.Â
The day he was captured was the day he wanted to confess to you. Reveal who he was and see if he could have a chance to be in your heart. So when he had come back to the living, he didnât seek you out. He was scared to find out you had moved on without him. That he was simply left as a fragment of a memory like everyone else.Â
You wouldâve laughed at the expression he made if you had seen him when he saw you at his grave. He was camping, hoping that Bruce would appear and prove him wrong. To show that he was still loved and in his heart as his son. All he could do was hide his presence behind the giant oak tree, slightly tilting his head out to watch what you were doing.Â
He watched your form from behind as you sat down in front of his grave before shuffling and pulling out folded pieces of paper. With his hiding spot not being that far off, he could hear you talking. And he wished he didnât. A giant block of ice settled to the bottom of his stomach, listening to you read your letters you apparently continued to write to him. Your voice didnât waver, casual and light as if you were truly talking to him like in the past.Â
When you got to what seemed like the end, your voice cracked. Then a sniffle. For a moment, he forgot the anger and hatred he harbored, his knuckles going white from suppressing himself to reaching out and comforting you. It ripped him into pieces from the sorrow and wretch you were emitting, sobbing and whimpering why he couldnât have told you sooner. Why he left without letting you say your final farewells. How you wanted him back.
You get interrupted and quickly forced to wipe your tears when your phone rung.Â
âThis is Officer-âÂ
He stopped breathing. Out of all things, you became a police officer. The hope to meet and rekindle with you was completely crushed, his status not at all glamorous or society acceptable at the moment. When he heard ruffling, he came back to reality. He could feel his eyes well-up as he watched you place a familiar bouquet of flowers on his grave before getting up and leaving.Â
Once you were gone, he walked over and picked the bouquet up delicately. For the first time since his revival, he was grieving for someone other than him, someone he still loves. Ironically, he wished that you were the one to have forgotten about him. Not being haunted and distraught as if you were watching him die over and over.Â
Maybe it was then he developed the motivation to change, to leave and let go of emotions he had been holding up to then. Eventually, he had gone from working to dominate the underground businesses to getting rid of them. And whenever he had spare time, heâd have your back and make sure no one was going after you. It wasnât just criminals he would take down who were planning to attack you and your group when on the field, he had also aimed at any corrupted officers that were going to use you as their scape-goat.Â
Sure he had gone on adventures as he progressively turned over a new leaf, yet you were and still always his priority. Back when he was Robin and now, as Red Hood the outlaw. As time passed, he could see you healing. Your smiles more genuine. A glow in your skin. Your visits to him every week being more peaceful.Â
He didnât think nor entertain the idea of ever meeting you again. How could he when itâll break you to find out heâs been alive, again, for so long?
So imagine his surprise when he arrives at the manor for the traditional Wayne Christmas party, finding you standing under the ridiculously large tree in the equally ridiculously large living room.Â
The disgruntled expression gets replaced with shock for Jason as yours morphs into disbelief.Â
âJa..sonâŠ?â
Six feet, a body packed with muscles and scars, not to mention the infamous brown, leather jacket. Dick really wasnât kidding during the time you helped hide him and the other vigilantes during the anti-hero hunt led by Amanda Waller when he had revealed that Jason Todd was actually alive after hearing from you how you knew the other, both as the former Robin and civilian. It makes you sick in the stomach of how much the person you loved once known as Mr. Sunshine went through for all the pure, unadulterated positivity and radiant optimism to be stripped away from him, leaving only hardship, fatigue, and harshness when hearing what he had gone through before and after his death. He didnât deserve such cruelty, not when he was trying to pull the weight of the effort society refused to put in to make life better when he was a tiny teen.Â
What you do next is risky. It may cause you to lose everything the two of you once had even. But how could you have him stand in front of the double-oak doors alone with eyes exposing his vulnerable and fragile heart.Â
The questions he wants to ask, the actions he wants to take, they all are swallowed down when heâs pulled into a hug. Itâs then he notices how much smaller you are compared to him. Your arms that once used to completely wrap around his shoulders can barely wrap around his torso. Your frame, frail as you tremble and leave tears on his thin, cotton shirt.Â
He doesnât need Dickâs motions or Timâs mouthing to know what to do. Careful to crush you, he leans into you.Â
âIâm sorry, I shouldâve told you I was back.â
Itâs the greatest Christmas gift life has ever given the two of you when you awkwardly nod in response to his words, no intentions of letting him go from fear heâd disappear on you again. And the sentiment is shared when he squeezes you closer to himself, a smile that was lost for a while reappearing and making those around feel the joy of the holiday miracle.
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𧧠pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader 𧧠wordcount: 23.5k words
𧧠reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated <3! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you ^~^
𧧠genre: best friends to friends with benefits to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut (mdni 18+)
𧧠summary: all it took was one kiss and suddenly you and Seungcheolâs friendship has turned upside down. 𧧠In other words: exploring how far the boundaries of your lifelong friendship can take the two of you, you and Seungcheol try to navigate what it's like to be friends with benefits. just because you're secrelty in love with each other won't fuck everything up...right?
𧧠tags: bsf!seungcheol, nonidol!au, rich!seungcheol, middleclass!reader, sml!wonwoo, jealous!cheol, possesive!cheol, mutual pining, SLOW BURN, ANGST, both mc's are heavily in denial, lotssss of miscommunication and misunderstandings, they are one year apart, jeonghan is the only sane person, hoshi is a clingy drunk, mona eisa makes an appearance!, its such a cliche story but i love it, they make bad decsions when theyre 'h' word... 𧧠smut tags/warnings: dom!scoups, sub!reader, multiple smut scenes, p in v unprotected sex, semi-public sex (sorry), slight mutal intoxicated sex in the first smut scene, choking, slapping, multiple positons, oral (f. receiving), fingering, creampie, praise and degradation, pet names (baby, angel, princess, love).
𧧠note: finally... its here. im sorry for the long wait :"). i thought i was only going to do 10k words but i got carried way. i want to thank @mysafehaneul who helped me with editing this story as well as my two irl friends who brainstormed ideas with me through out the writing process <3. if i've missed any tags/warnings please dont be afraid to lmk! anyways,,, im excited because this thing is my baby, i hope you enjoy! your thoughts and comments are always welcome :') leave me a comment or ask if you want~
As long as you can remember, Seungcheol and you have been attached to the hip. Even though he was a year older than you, you couldnât remember the last time you spent a day without him, starting all the way from the young, bright age of 5, when you and your family moved into the small, humble house across his. Although your parents werenât very well off, Cheol was. It was an odd thing that you two were neighbours because his house was much more grand and nicer kept than yours. This didnât really bother you growing up though, he always made you feel like an equal. Â
Seungcheol has been with you through it all, from the petty fights in middle school to the pains of adolescence in high school. Heâs seen you at your worst like the time you tripped and fell trying to impress a cute guy at school, which resulted in a nosebleed. You were so embarrassed but at the end of the day, Cheol was there to help you clean your bloody nose and pick you back up. A true night and shining armour in disguise. He was the one to patch up your heart, breakup after breakup. Always your shoulder to lean on when youâre feeling down, and especially when youâre happy.Â
A man and best friend like Choi Seungcheol didnât come around very often, and you took notice of that since you were young. You cherish every moment you have and will have with him. He is a true gentleman with a heart of gold, heâs handsome, smart, rich and caring. Every single box on your list is ticked off when it comes to him. Yet, you know that no matter how hard you love him, you will only ever be his best friend. The girl he sees is practically his younger sister. The bittersweet feeling of being so close to him tugs your heart till it's torn. It took you a long time to accept that all youâll ever be is his best friend, and even now youâre still trying to accept this fact.Â
I.
Fall freshly arrived in your city. The bustling sound of cars, the light whistle of the wind, the leaves that would crunch with each step. It is the perfect atmosphere for you and Seungcheol's weekend movie marathon. On todayâs agenda is Divergent, a series you loved reading growing up.Â
There you two sat, snuggling on the couch, wrapped in maybe ten pounds worth of blankets that could be someoneâs monthly rent downtown. This is why you loved having movie marathons at Seungcheolâs place, he always has the best blankets, the best pillows, the best snacks; you could go on for days with reasons.Â
Your head on his shoulder, his arm resting behind you on the couch, everything felt perfect. If you closed your eyes for just one second, you could pretend that you and he were together and that this was just a stay-at-home type of date. But, the moment your eyes open again you are faced with the reality of the situation.Â
âWow, this movie was a lot better when I was like 13âŠâ you snort after finishing re-watching Divergent for the first time in a long time. Only because Cheol hadnât seen it before.Â
âHmm, it's not that bad..?â He tries to defend the movie, but as someone who read all the books in middle school, you knew that it just didnât compare.Â
âNo Cheol you donât understand, itâs just gets worse from here. I really donât know why they didnât just decide to follow the book more properly. The first one was so good.â you huff with a frustrated sigh after finishing your rant.Â
Seungcheol can only chuckle, his voice sending vibrations from how close in proximity you two were. He didnât mind the physical affection between the two of you, after being around each other for so long, you two became accustomed to it. You were always the type to rant to him about the little things, and he just likes to sit there and listen. He always wants to be the person you go to when you want to let your feelings out, no matter how trivial your tangents are.Â
âY/n, if you hate the last two movies why are we watching them?â He asks you, his brow quirked up.Â
âYouâre right actually, maybe we can watch something elseâŠâ You agree, your head craned up to look at him from where youâre positioned. A small smile danced across your lips, so close to him you could feel his breath fan your face. The smell of his cologne tickles your nostrils.Â
âWanna watch Ponyo?â Seungcheol suggests he knows how much you love Ghibli movies. You always like to mention to him that youâre Ponyo and heâs Souske. He doesn't disagree with you, jesting that he would carry you around in a bucket full of water as Souske does.Â
Agreeing, giving an affirmative nod, you snuggle into him further as he changes the movie, exiting out of the dumpster fire they call the Divergent. As the movie starts to play, you think back to all the times Seungcheol was your Souske, and all the times he spent making sure you would heal from your hurt.Â
II.Â
Seungcheol has always seen himself as your best friend. The man that will be there for you when you have no one else to turn to. He has never seen you as more than his best friend, his y/n. He is a man who never second-guesses himself, always keeping a strong-willed sense of mind. Every time one of his friends asked him if he had feelings for you, he would simply answer no; and that you were like a younger sister to him.Â
That first year was lonely for him, he didnât really know anyone and all his classes kept him away from socializing. The only thing that seemed to have stayed constant was you. You face-timed him at least once a week before he went to bed, never forgetting to remind him how much you missed him, and how much you cared for him. In the simplest words, you were his rock for during first year.Â
Seungcheol was never warned about how lonely and jarring your first year could be. The change in place, people, and most importantly the change in the fact that you werenât there experiencing it beside him. He was never one to believe clichĂš sayings, but he finally understood what the saying âdistance makes the heart grow fonderâ really felt like. He had gotten so overwhelmed from the loneliness he even began to write you letters, ones he would never actually send out, as cheesy as it sounds. But knowing that he was addressing them to you brought him some type of solace in that first year.Â
 A year later you came to study at the same university, and he was elated, to say the least. Finally, he had thought to himself. The one person he hadnât been able to see, smell, or touch for a year was finally going to be in his proximity.Â
Unlike Cheol, you were only able to go to this school through bursaries and scholarships, your parents simply just couldnât afford to send you to school in a different city otherwise. It reminded you how lucky Seungcheol was to receive support from his parents, getting and going to school was nothing he had to ever think twice about. You knew you couldâve stayed with your family, and gone to school closer to your house, but with Cheol away, it just wasnât the same. Nothing had felt the same since he left. But this didnât matter to you the moment you felt his arms wrap around you again.Â
You stood there in the airport all alone, eyes searching for a head of freshly dyed blond hair. The moment you heard his voice call your name, you knew you were finally home.Â
âY/n!â An excited, deep voice calls out for you.Â
You whip your head around to see him. The man you hadnât seen in so long, the man you were so desperately in love with. Your best friend.Â
âCheol!â A squeal escapes your lips, you run to him. He pulls you into a tight hug, wrapping his large hands around your smaller frame. Swinging you around like crazy, a laugh bubbles up from your throat.Â
âIâve missed you so much y/n.â Cheol exasperates as he hugs you tighter, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.
âIâve missed you too CheolâŠâ You whisper into his chest, breathing in his expensive cologne, not caring that you are in public; staying there to embrace him for a weirdly long period of time. âNever leave for that long again.âÂ
III.
âY/n for fucks sake please stop asking me if we can match for Halloween,â Seungcheol whines, his hands running over his face in exhaustion.Â
âCâmon it be so fun please please pleaseee,â you beg, your âpleaseâsâ getting longer with each second he refuses. Youâre both sat on his couch, the morning after your movie marathon sleepover. Kneeling beside his spot on the sofa, shaking his shoulder excessively to get him to agree with you.Â
Itâs a week before Jeonghanâs infamous Halloween party, one that youâve attended every year since you moved here. It is known for being one of the biggest parties of the year, and Jeonghan is the most dramatic yet genius host on campus. Everyone goes, and you mean everyone. This year is no different than the previous ones. You and Cheol have gone together every year, and he has yet to do a matching costume with you. This year youâre simply not backing down from a simple no.Â
âBut Tom and Jerry would be so funny!â You attempt to reason with him, giving him your biggest doe eyes and sweetest pout. You looked ridiculous, begging like a Victorian child asking for an extra piece of bread.Â
âFine. Fine!â Seunghceol finally gives in. If there was something he just canât resist, itâs when you beg to him with puppy dog eyes. It somehow has always worked for you, even when you two were kids.Â
âYes! Finally oh my god, iâve been waiting for this to happen for the past 3 years!â You jump around victoriously in your fluffy pyjamas. Seungcheol canât help but laugh at your celebratory dance, especially when you wore fluffy bunny printed pjâs.Â
âOk ok calm down, Iâll only allow it if I get to be the stupid Jerry cat.â he grumbles, arms crossed as he leans against his couch.Â
âYou mean Tom you idiot..â You muttered under your breath as you sit back on the couch, returning back to the Ghibli marathon.Â
You werenât very slick though, Seungcheol weirdly had a great sense of hearing for someone who can act like an old man sometimes. He turns to you with a glare and you let out a squeak, ready to run away from his hold, wow he is really taking his Tom role seriously, you thought as he chased you around his apartment. The sound of child-like laughter fills the space, your Ghibli movie long forgotten.Â
IV.
Monday had finally rolled around the corner, which you dread even more after spending the weekend in Paradise a lĂ Seungcheol, a.k.a his apartment; which was a lot more fun to be at in comparison to your own. He lived on one of the highest floors in his apartment building, while you lived in the cheapest place closest to campus. It was kind of laughable how different your life is compared to Seungcheolâs, yet out of everyone heâs your bestfriend.Â
Whatâs even worse about this Monday is that youâre finally getting your assigned partner for the midterm project. With your fingers crossed you hope that the professor would pair you up with either Jeonghan or Seunghcheol. At least it would make doing the project a little bit more bearable, especially knowing that the whole project itself is worth fifteen percent of your grade. Not a lot but enough to make a dent in your average if you get careless, which you canât afford. Literally.Â
âOkay, so Iâm just going to start assigning people randomlyâŠâ The professor drones on before beginning to give out assigned partners.Â
âY/n L/n and Jeon Wonwoo.â Your name is finally called, and thank the heavens your partner is someone you actually know, and someone you know who is smart too.Â
In a hurried fashion, you make your way to sit beside Wonwoo. You two werenât really all that close, but you had mutual friends. He is often seen with Mingyu, considering the fact that they are roommates. You had only learnt this from Seungcheol, who was closest to Mingyu. A golden retriever turned person who he had become friends with at the end of his first year in uni.Â
Wonwoo is an attractive guy, and smart too, which you cannot deny. He was relatively popular for those reasons, but you never really paid much attention to him. Only ever talking to him at parties or in the student union centre eating lunch with Cheol, Mingyu, and Vernon. Honestly, you were just glad to be paired with someone who you know isnât going to make you do the whole damn thing by yourself.Â
You slip into the desk where he sits, exchanging a soft hello before bringing out your laptop to write notes. âHey Wonwoo, I donât know if you remember me but Iâm Y/n.âÂ
âYeah I remember you, youâre Seungcheolâs best friend right?â He asks, probably thinking you look familiar from all the times you had been seen walking around campus with Cheol.
âI am, unfortunatelyâŠhaha.â You laugh awkwardly along with your joke, trying to break the ice between you two. Wonwoo just nods his head at you slowly, aware of your attempt to make a joke. He definitely wasnât much of a talker. You picked up on that every time Mingyu had brought him around, and every time you saw him he was either on his phone or talking to a friend quietly in a corner.Â
You two got down to business pretty quickly after your lousy attempt to try and make conversation. This is definitely one of those moments that would potentially keep you up a night. The ones where youâre trying to fall asleep and suddenly remember an embarrassing thing you did or said.Â
On the other side of the room are Jeonghan and Seunghceol, and much to Seungcheol's dismay he got paired up with the one person he didnât want to be with. The moment the professors called out their names, Jeonghan turned around giving him the biggest shit-eating grin. With the professorâs queue, he makes his way to sit beside Cheol, sitting too close for comfort.Â
Jeonghan loves to tick Seungcheol off, he thinks itâs a great way to pass the time. Maybe even one of his favourites. There was something about getting under his skin that he just found so amusing. It doesnât really help that Jeonghan is one of Y/nâs closest friends, second to Cheol even.Â
He met Y/n in her first year at the University and even knew Cheol prior to Y/n, but the two men somehow never really got along. Jeonghan and Y/n shared an intro to psychology class back in her first year and became close for sharing an innate hatred towards their professor. After that, they were like two peas in a pod. Four years into their friendship, Jeonghan still relentlessly teases Cheol, especially when Y/n is around.Â
Jeonghan has always been an observant man, at least heâd like to think so. The first time he saw Y/n and Seungcheol interact he could tell from the beginning that they were hopelessly in love with each other. Although he would never outright butt into their relationship, he definitely knows how to push things along. Their body language towards each other really was the biggest giveaway and the way Cheol gives into everything Y/n would say. Whatâs even more laughable was the fact that they were both deeply in denial, for what reason? Jeonghan didnât know but he found their oblivious attitude to be insufferable. Call him bitter but after spending much time with the two of them he just wanted them to finally bite the bullet and date already.Â
âHmm look at Y/n getting all cozy with Wonwoo, they would be cute together wouldnât they Cheollie?â Jeonghan provoked, calling Seungcheol by a horrid nickname. He poked at Seungcheols arm, giving him a cheshire cat grin. The blond man was not very amused by Jeonghanâs antics, giving him a deathly glare.Â
âYouâre blowing this out of proportion you idiot, theyâre just partners for a project.â Seungcheol scoffs, rolling his eys at how fast Jeonghan is shipping you with Wonwoo. âAlso stop fucking calling me Cheollie, its such an ugly nickname.â
âWhy not Cheollie? You let Y/n call you thatâŠâ He wiggles his eyebrows. âIâm just saying people donât just start dating out of nowhere, plus theyâll be spending a lot of alone time together.â Jeonghan eggs on, nudging Seungcheol with his elbow.
Seungcheol moves his attention towards you, boring holes into the back of you and Wonwooâs head. Seeing you with Wonwoo didnât settle right with him, he wasnât sure why. Maybe itâs because of what Jeonghan said or the fact that imagining you so close with another man wasnât something he was used to. It doesnât matter anyways, theyâre just partners, nothing else, Seungcheol thought. He lets out a huff of vexation, bracing himself for the upcoming weeks he has to put up with Jeonghanâs antics.Â
X.
The day of Jeonghanâs party had finally arrived, and you couldnât be more excited. Midterms had just finished up and you were more than ready to drink away the stress. You hadnât been to a party in a while now, and you were definitely due for a good one. You were dying just to get your mind off school at least for one night, drinking with your friends and wear a skimpy halloween costume.Â
The walk to Seungcheolâs apartment isnât very long, a brisk five minutes and youâre already in front of the entrance. You were excited to see his costume, especially because you havenât seen him dress up for halloween since you two were kids. As you walked down to his apartment you couldnât help but appreciate the perfect weather for tonights party. The slightly chilly wind blowing through your hair, the moon full and shining bright in the already dark sky. You just had a weird flutter in your heart that gave you the impression that this party isnât going to be like any of the previous ones.Â
Walking down the hall to your best friendâs place always has you in awe, no matter how many times youâve been down the path to his apartment. Most of the time you felt out of place, everything is so extravagant. The doorman, the high-speed elevator, and especially Cheolâs large floor to ceiling windows. It had a whole view of the bustling city and it took the breath out of you everytime you would spend a few minutes appreciating the scenery.Â
You knock on his door, and not more than a few seconds later hes opening the door for you. A hearty laugh leaves your lips as your met with the image of him wearing grey cat ears. His cheeks rosy and the tips of his ears turn a hot red as he lets you in. you canât help but giggle as you make your way into his living room.Â
Seungcheol may be a little embarrassed by the cat ears but the real reason heâs blushing so hard isnât because youâre laughing at him. The moment he opened the door the first thing he notices is your costume. He mentally slapped himself trying not to drool at your figure. The brown corset you had on hugs your waist perfectly, the tightness accenuating your cleavage. Your breasts are practically spilling out of the top and the view is causing all the blood in his body to rush to his head. As you walked past him laughing he couldnât help but look down at how little your skirt covered. His heart was beating so fast, but he quickly masks his desire for you with annoyance.Â
âI think this is the first time Iâve seen you in cat ears.â Youâre practically creasing on his couch, laughing after every word.Â
âYouâre the one who wanted to do Tom and Jerry!â he defends himself, a displeased look plastered on his face.Â
âO-ok sorry sorry, itâs cute! Donât worry.â A giggle slips past your lips. You stand up and fix his cat ears, your smile widening at the fact that heâs not happy with how âcuteâ his costume is. âCâmon lemme draw some whiskers and a nose on you.âÂ
Taking his hand, you lead him to the couch. You let him sit down comfortably on the couch before you climb onto his lap, your eyeliner pencil in hand, ready to draw some whiskers. You focus on giving a cute circular nose, your tongue sticking out a little in concentration. Not wanting to mess up the whiskers, you dont pay attention to anything else as you draw three straight lines on each of his cheeks.Â
Seungcheol on the other hand is trying very hard not to focus on you. His hands are squeezing your hips with an iron grip. The direct view of your cleavage, the proximity of your body, it was getting too much for him. You were so in your own world, concerned by his cat makeup that you donât even notice your skirt riding up the slightest bit. He takes notice of this, his breath caught in his throat. With your legs straddling his, he has a good view of your panties peaking out from your skirt. Seungcheol can feel himself getting aroused but heâs trying his best to ignore it, his hands starting to sweat profusely.Â
âFuckâŠâ He mumbles under his breath, looking straight down at your exposed underwear. He felt a bit like a pervert but he just couldnât tear his eyes away from your body.Â
âShh Iâm almost done promise.â You assure him, oblivious to the fact that heâs not whining about the make up. âAnnnd done!â A satisfied smile spreads across your face as you get off his lap. Pulling down your skirt a little because of it slightly hiking up from being on his lap.Â
With a relieved sigh, Seungcheol gets up from the couch after you. He wasnât sure why heâs feeling about this away about you all of sudden. Maybe it was because you two were so close in such an intimate way? No that canât be it, Seungcheol thinks to himself, weâve known each other for so long. Maybe its because your costume was accenuating every attractive thing about you, he really didnât know. But what he does know is if that happened again he wouldnât know what to do with himself. With that last thought, he decides to just brush it off for now. He feels more than ready to get some alcohol in his system.Â
âLets go?â Seungcheol asks, lending you his bicep to wrap your hand around. You nod, taking his arm before walking out of his apartment, ready for the fun night ahead.Â
VI.Â
You two arrive in front of Jeonghanâs house. It isnât a far walk from Seungcheolâs apartment, maybe five to eight minutes and you were already there. As you stroll along the side walk the music exuding from his house becomes increasingly loud. The thumping of the bass echoing slightly throughout the neighbourhood, the halloween decorations hanging off the exterior. You are a little bit in awe at how many people are able to fit in a tiny bungalow, but despite the crowded atmosphere, a party like this is a perfect way to celebrate the end of your midterms.Â
As you and Seungcheol enter the house, you can already recognize a few familiar faces from your classes as well as some of your closest friends. The music practically enveloped you the moment you stepped into the room, the bass causing your heart to thump out of your chest. You squeeze onto Seungcheolâs arm tighter, not wanting to lose him in the crowd. He keeps you close, fearing that you may disappear the moment he lets you go. As you continue to scan the room for your friends, one person in paritcualr catches your attention.Â
 Soonyoung who was of course wearing a tiger onesie, is already in a drunken state, swaying around aimlessly, bumping into people and then proceeding to apologize with a hug accompanied by a kiss on the cheek. Watching this unfold causes a giggle to escape your lips, you pat Seungcheol and motion to the silly drunkard making his way out of the heaps of people. Seungcheol chuckles at Soonyoung as he ends up making his way over to the two of you. The drunk tiger yells out for you , engulfing you and Cheol into a bone crushing hug. Â
âTypical of you Hosh, youâre already drunk off your ass,â you scold him as you call him by his nickname, patting his fluffly tiger hood. âNow what are you doing going around and giving people kisses?âÂ
âY/Nie stop acting like my mom, câmon lets go find Hao and the others.â Soonyoung whines, tugging on your arm so that you would follow him. You give Seungcheol a look, and he just nods, you knew that meant he would go and find you later. So you let Hoshi pull you away, brining you over to your friends.Â
You spot Jeonghan and Minghao conversing in a corner of the room. This is the first time youâve seen an angel look like they were out to do more bad than good. Jeonghanâs angel wings and halo shaking as he laughs at something Minghao says. On Jeonghanâs left side is a Mona Lisa painting with the head and arms cut out. You laugh at the way Minghao is constantly keeping his hands in the same way as the original position of the painting as he talks.Â
âY/N! Finally the party doesnât really start till youâre here.â Jeonghan greets you, taking you out of Hoshiâs grasp to pull you into a hug. âYour costume is adorable but also really sexy, Jerry right? Whereâs your Tom?âÂ
âGoodevening to you too Hannie, and uhmâŠMona Lisa?â You giggle at Minghaoâs odd choice in costume.
âMona Eisa actually.â He corrects and you donât even think to ask any further questions.Â
âWell⊠he wouldâve been here if this intoxicated hamster didnât pull me away from him.â You reply to Jeonghan, giving Soonyoung a look, seeing that heâs already cuddling up to Minghao, who doesnât seem too pleased by the sudden affection. âSoonyoung stop trying to strangle Hao, heâs not going to disappear.â you scold him again, resulting in a pouty tiger.Â
âJesus Soonyoung let go of me that onesie you have on is like a fucking space heater.â Minghao complains, trying to push Hoshi away. Hoshi only whines, holding on tighter. Looking at the situation unfolding, a stranger would think Minghao is the older one of the two. You have always known how much of a lightweight Hoshi is, but tonight it seems heâs had more than usual.Â
âY/N stop calling me a hamster, and Hao whatâs wrong with a hug? I thought we were friends..â He continues to whine, his cheeks red from the alcohol.
âWe wonât be if you keep holding onto me like that you idiot,â Minghao replies, giving Hoshi a warning look. He let Minghao go with a mope forming on his lips. Minghao can only laugh and pat his head. He wasnât a big fan of physical affection but he still adored Hoshi even if he was clingy. Y/N found their friendship amusing, they would always quarrel with one another yet still show affection when it really mattered.Â
âOk ok, break it up you two. Y/N over here is way too sober, letâs fix that.â Jeonghan suggests, and you happily agree. Hoshiâs face lights up and he attempts to follow the two of you. âNo Hoshi, not you, youâve had enough. Go find Seungkwan Hao, this guy needs to be put on an alcohol ban.âÂ
Soonyoung sulks even harder, causing his chubby cheeks to accentuate. It made you giggle at how cute he gets when heâs drinking. You bid your goodbyes to Hoshi and Minghao and follow Jeonghan into the kitchen. As you trek towards where the alcohol is you say hello to some of the people you were friendly with, complimenting the pretty costumes you saw on the way.Â
 When you finally reach the kitchen, the countertop is filled with bottles of every type of alcohol. You end up spotting Seungcheol standing around the island, talking and drinking with Mingyu, Vernon, and Wonwoo. They notice your presence immediately giving you a polite wave. Wonwoo on the other hand takes a longer than normal look at you. This catches Seungcheolâs attention, causing him to grip his red cup harder till it is slightly crumpled in his hand.Â
âCheollibee! I didnât see you come in earlier.â Jeonghan snickers, taking a good glance at his costume. This only makes Cheol scowl at him, muttering about the wretched nicknames Jeonghan is always coming up with.Â
âHello Jeonghan.â Seunghceol deadpans, still leaning leisurely against the island.Â
âYou wanna take a shot with me and Y/N? Itâll be fun, promise.â Jeonghan urges, a mischievous glint twinkling in his eyes. You watch the two and laugh, Seungcheol never fails to show his disdain for Jeonghan, it was kind of their thing.
âSure why not.â Cheol shrugs, coming up to the two of you. He stands behind you, your body pressed against the counter, you can feel his breath fan the back of your neck. Stiffening at the feeling, you watch him grab a bottle from in front of you before pouring out three shots. For some reason the music was nothing compared to how fast your pulse was beating in your ears right now.Â
Seungcheolâs strong bicep wraps around you to pour a sufficient amount of liquor in each glass, his cologne engulfing your senses. It makes your knees weak, the proximity of his body pressing up against you has your mind running laps. It was so close you could feel his front side brush up against your behind. The thin material of your skirt feeling the texture of his rough jeans.Â
âYou ready?â Seungcheol whispers in your ear as you look down at the shot glass that heâs trying to hand you. The way his breath fans across your face makes you shiver inwardly. You only nod, taking the little shot glass out of his grasp.Â
From Jeonghanâs point of view you look like a deer in headlights, he canât help but smirk. Seungcheolâs presence obviously affecting you.Â
You turn around to face Cheol, and he backs away a little bit, taking the space beside you; one of his hands gripping the counter beside your waist. His blond hair pushed back, the soft cat ear headband hes wearing contrasts against his hard features. As you throw back your shot, you canât help but keep your eyes on him. His strong jawline becomes more prominent as he takes his own shot, the liquor dripping a little bit off his chin onto his shirt. Fuck, you thought, iâm not drunk enough for this.Â
Jeonghan sees you ogling and canât help but chuckle to himself, he pours another set of shots before handing them off to the two of you. Taking the shot, you wince one again as you feel the alcohol burn down your throat. Two shots arenât enough to get you drunk but you were definitely starting to feel a light buzz. Your surroundings start to become a tad bit hazy, but in a good way.Â
âCheollie why donât you take Y/N to dance?â Jeonghan suggests, his cheshire cat like grin returning. The look of his mischievous smile in juxtaposition with his innocent and pure white angel costume.Â
Your eyes light up the moment âdanceâ slipped out of Jeonghanâs mouth, causing you to tug on Seungcheolâs sleeve, urging him to take you to where everyone else is dancing. The alcohol running through his system and the way your eyes sparkle under the kitchen lights is enough for Seungcheol to agree. He could feel his buzz coming on now but he knew he is far from drunk.Â
âFine, letâs go.â He allows, pretending not to be a little intrigued on what your definition of âdancingâ is. Â
You smile excitedly and take his hand, leading him to the dance floor, your hips already swinging along with the music. Which was more like the middle of Jeonghanâs living room with the couches pushed to the side. The crowd of people in the middle of the room are moving with the groove of the thumping bass. You start to do the same, letting your inhibitions go. Taking Seungcheolâs hands you place them on your hips, your body's flush with each others. You snake your hands around his neck, holding onto him as you continue to move with the music. The grasp of his large hands holding your hips tight ignites sparks in your stomach.Â
Seungcheolâs throat goes dry as you turn around, your back facing him. Your ass flush with his front, causing him to hold onto your hips even tighter. What the fuckâŠ, he thinks to himself. The feeling of arousal sneaking up on him for the third time tonight. As you continue to grind on him, he canât help but let out a low groan, your ass moving against his growing hard on.Â
âYou enjoying your self princess?â Seungcheol whispers in your ear, his hands starting to move up and down. From your hips to your waist, up then back down to your hips once again. Your breath hitches, the tips of his fingers leaving a searing heat on your skin in its wake. The buzzing haze clouding your thoughts, the pounding of the music, the feeling of his hands on you, it was too much all at once.Â
âMhmm..â Is the only thing you can say in response as you continue to dance against him.Â
Seungcheol chuckles, he can sense your arousal too, with the way you put your hands over his, guiding them back to your hips. Keeping your hands on top of his own, you let the music take over you. You close your eyes to really savour the moment; just because youâre not sure when the next time you will get to experience this with Cheol again.Â
The more you dance with him, the warmer you get. The heat of his body radiates onto you, his hands move from your hips down to your exposed thighs then back up. Who knew that two shots in, you would be dancing (grinding) on your best friend in the middle of Jeonghanâs Halloween party? As time goes on, you feel your clothes stick to your skin just a little more than before, as well as the heat brewing in your stomach.Â
âCheollieâŠâ You look over your shoulder to meet his gaze. With a seductive smile, you give him bedroom eyes, not caring that youâre in front of so many people you know. Or the fact that youâre feeling extremely attracted to your best friend right now. âIâm feeling a little warm, can we go somewhere a little more quiet?â you ask, feigning your timidness.Â
âYeah if thatâs what you want.â He nods, giving you his charming, dimpled smile.Â
You take his hand, leading him down the hallway to Jeonghanâs room. But before you enter you send a text to Jeonghan, asking if it was ok to stay in his room for a bit. He replies promptly saying that it was fine and to drink the water in his mini fridge if you needed to. After reading that you had permission to enter, you bring both you and Cheol into the room, closing the door promptly behind you.
âYou feeling better in here Y/N?â Seungcheol inquires, grabbing a water from the mini fridge and handing it to you. You simply nod, grabbing the water from his and taking a sip.Â
âYeah thank you, it was getting really hot out there. Thank god Hannie always keeps his room freezing cold.â You shrug before taking another sip of your water as you sit down on his bed. You admire Seungcheol as he walks toward you, his tight shirt highlighting his muscular biceps, veins running down his forearms. You mentally shake yourself to stop the drool from dripping past your lips.Â
He towers over you, standing in front of you as you sit on the bed. You clear your throat before putting the water bottle down on the bedside table. Seungcheol grabs a piece of your hair, tucking it behind your ear, his hand moving down slowly to get ahold of your jaw. His grip is firm but gentle, forcing you to look up at him from where you sit. You gulp, frozen, his actions not clear enough for you to predict what heâll do next.Â
âYou have been teasing me a whole lot while you were dancing, did you know that princess?â He asks, looking down at you while he runs his thumb over your lip, pulling it down slightly.
He relinquishes his hold from your face, going to sit beside you on the bed. Your heart beats out of your chest as your eyes meet his. Seungcheolâs pupils are enlarged, his brown eyes lidded with lust. You arenât sure what to do, but whatever he has planned you really wouldnât be opposed to any of it. Although you were having fun dancing with him, a part of you knew if you kept on grinding against him like that, his self-restraint would break.Â
The muffled music and the sound of your heavy breaths are the only things to be heard in the room. You bite your lip, not sure how to answer him, your cheeks heating with a little embarrassment, apprehension, and excitement.
 âNo Cheol I didnât mean to,â you murmur, your face dangerously close to his. He shakes his head with a chuckle.
âDidnât mean to what? Get me hard from having you grinding on me like that?â he retorts, his hand comes up to grip your cheek, squishing it between his thumb and forefingers. âI think you did mean to, I only have so much self-control princess.â Â
He lets go of his grip on you, caressing the spot on your cheek where he pressed his thumb. With one swift motion, he grips your hips and pulls you onto his lap, moving your thighs to straddle his. You yelp due to how quickly he got you into the position, your skirt riding up once again.Â
âMm.. Maybe just a little bit, I guess I got caught up in the momentâŠâ you admit shyly, averting his hard gaze as you play with the hem of your skirt.Â
âWell your actions have consequences sweetheart, so what are you gonna do about it?â He whispers into your ear. A shiver runs down your spine, and the feeling of his hot breath fanning your face causes the heat to pool in your core, staining your panties.Â
âCheollieâŠâ you whimper, his hands back on your hips, his grip tightening with every second that passes. Embarrassed, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, not wanting to look him in the eyes. You were just so embarrassed at how turned on you are, the feeling of his body so close to yours has your walls lining with arousal.Â
âYou gonna fix what you did princess?â He continues to whisper to you, making you feel like you two are the only people in the entire house. The feeling of his hands rubbing up and down your back soothingly has you leaning more into his touch, his fingertips leaving sparks as he continues. You nod into where you buried your face into his neck.Â
âWith words.â His tone is firm and another shiver runs through you, but instead, it runs straight through your hot core. His hands now running over your bare thighs, squishing them ever so slightly, as he admires how they look smushed onto his lap.Â
âIâll fix it, I want to.â You whisper as you look down at his full lips, your arms moving to wrap around his neck. âI really want you right now CheollieâŠâÂ
âI want you too, are you sure princess?â He asks, keeping a safe distance until he receives some verbal consent from you.Â
âYes, I want it please.â Youâre practically begging, whimpering as you lean in closer, your nose touching his.Â
Lost in his scent, you can feel the blood rush to your head at how close you are to him right now. His hands gripping onto your waist, his lips so close to yours but still not touching. The alcohol, your beating heart, his touch, itâs making your head dizzy with arousal. You wanted this so bad and you didnât know much you needed it up until this point. Out of all the people youâve been with before, nothing compares to how much youâre own best friend is turning you on right now. Something about him intoxicates you way more than the two shots you downed less than half an hour ago.Â
With that last thought, Seungcheol finally crashes his lips into yours. The moment he felt your lips on top of his it was like a fire ignited in him, one that he couldnât seem to light properly till you. Heâs only been kissing you for less than a minute but youâve already got him hooked. He knows that theres going to be no one after you. The feeling of your body against his is making all the blood rush down to his dick.Â
You place your hands on both his cheeks, pushing him into your face even more. Tasting the remnants of alcohol on his tongue, the flavour of him and what he drank making you whimper into the kiss. Seungcheol pushes his tongue into your mouth, exploring the softness of your lips. You couldnât comprehend how delicious it is to kiss Seungcheol, like he was some nectar youâve been deprived of all your life.Â
He groans as he feels you grind your clothed heat against his growing erection, the friction causing his head to spin. Gripping your hips even tighter, he continues you to kiss you with while moving your hips back and forth with ease. The hard motions causing you to pull back to let out a moan.Â
âHavenât even touched you properly and youâre already moaning like thatâŠâ Seungcheol groans, kissing up exposed cleavage and collarbones. âFuck angel youâll be the death of me.â
He adores the corset you have on, the fact that your tits practically spilling out right in front of his face made his dick even harder for you.Â
âMmmph, Cheol pleaseâŠâ You whine as he continues to suck on your exposed skin, leaving red marks all over. Gripping on his biceps to stabalize yourself, the feeling of him sucking harshly on your soft skin makes your eyes roll back. As you continue to grind on him you could feel him growing harder underneath you, it nudges against your cunt but barely, teasing you even further.Â
âTell me baby, what do you want?â He chuckles against your skin, leaving kisses along your neck and face.Â
âI need you to fuck me pleaseâŠâ You beg, your eyebrows scrunching in frustration, the kissing and grinding just isnât enough for you.Â
âAre you sure princess?â He asks slowly, trying to make sure that is something you really want. You look into his soft brown eyes with desperation, nodding to let him know that you need him right now.Â
âI do I do please Cheol, cant take this teasing anymore.â you complain, grinding your hips to urge him to take you already.
âYouâre a needy little slut arenât you darling?â He smirks, placing his lips on yours once again. This time he doesnât hold back with his actions, untying your corset from the back before taking it completely off you. He groans into the kiss as he places his hands your breasts, playing and tweaking with your pebbled nipples. You moan into his mouth as you feel him grope at your chest, fondling them in his hands expertly.Â
âP-please I need you now Cheol,â you whine harder, gripping onto his strands of blond hair, trying to ground yourself in this moment of increasing pleasure. His lack of touch where you need him most is frustrating you, he may be sucking on your tits but you want him to be sucking on your clit instead.Â
Youâre irritation forces you to seek relief for yourself, your hand snaking down past the bottom of your skirt, pushing your thong to the side. Placing your fingers on your sticky clit you let out a sastified moan. Cheol catches on quickly to your attempt to pleasure your self. You barely got to go in a full circle on your throbbing bud before he throws you onto the bed, laying you on your stomach. Dizzy from the sudden change in positions, you yell out a yelp as he forces your skirt cladded ass in the air.Â
âWhat a naughty girl you areâŠâ Cheol mutters to himself.Â
He tugs at your skirt so it bunches up around your hips, exposing your bare ass for him. Smirking to him self, he starts to caress the supple skin, that is until he brings his hand back to slap your ass with full force. It was so agressive that it jiggles from the impact, leaving a read hand mark on the soft surface.Â
âAh! Cheol please âm sorry, didnât meant to touch m-myself,â you cry out, the tears stinging your eyes. The cries turning into moans as he continues to smack your ass oneâŠtwo⊠three times⊠until its too much for you to count. Youâve never been hit like this before but you canât deny how good it feels.Â
âThis is what happens when you act like a fucking whore princess.â He chuckles, rubbing your hand print covered skin, trying to soothe you. âTell me you wont touch yourself without my permission again.âÂ
âI-I wont, p-promise. Please Cheollie I need you.â You blubber, the tears falling down your face. He hasnât even touched your needy pussy and youâre already a mess for him.Â
Seungcheol is satisfied at how pliant youâve become, crying and apologizing for him like a good girl. He thinks of all the things he wants to do to you, but ultimately he decides to reward you first. You had taken his slapping so obediently, he thought, wanting to giving you a prize for enduring him. So he turns you around, your back against the mattress, legs spread wide apart for him. He finally gets a good look at your face, becoming more satisfied seeing that the tears are staining your make up, your nose red, and your eyebrows knotted in sexual frustration as you pout for him. Cute, he thought.Â
âDont worry baby, iâll eat you so good youâll forget all about the pain.â He laughs as he lowers himself until heâs face to face with your heat. His warm breath fanning against your folds. His hands gripping your thighs tightly, keeping you spread for him. He licks his lips, wetting them before he indulges into your hot cunt.Â
Your underwear already pushed aside, he begins to lick a long fat strip against your wet lips. Letting out a wanton moan, you hold onto his hair, your thighs trying to close but his grip only becoming more tense.Â
âFuck Cheol⊠so good.â you moan out, your eyes rolling back with pleasure. He hums against your core, sending vibrations. His actions continue to make your walls build up with more arousal. Youâre so immersed in the feeling of his tongue, he decides to take it up a notch. Choking on air, you feel him insert a finger into your dripping hole, hooking it so it rubs against that spot that sends you into heaven. As his finger slides in and out of you, he suckles on your bundle of nerves. This is the moment you begin to see stars, and you start to feel that familiar build up below your stomach. Cheol adds another finger, picking up his pace a little bit.Â
âHmmph Cheol please⊠need to cum.â you beg him, and he speeds up. He speeds up so much you almost black out. Screaming his name, he puts all his force into getting you to the edge, it makes your toes curl. And then its gone.Â
âWhat the fuck?â you ask him, you face flushed from the moments before, but also with frustration. He can only smirk at you as he licks his fingers clean, his jaw wet with your arousal. Seungcheolâs eyes darken as he takes in your small frame below him, your wetness still glistening off his chin. His cat ears long gone, you admire his muscular build as he begins to take off his clothing.Â
âJust wanted to see you come on my cockâŠâ He mumbles, lining up his member with your entrance. Its large and the girth of it causes your breath to catch in your throat. Youâre a little scared how much of it is going to fit without it stinging, but at this point you canât bring yourself to care. All you want him to do now is to fuck you dumb.Â
Seungcheolâs self control is thinning second by second, he wants to take his time with you. Playing with you till his touch is burned into your skin. Till his length is burned in your pussyâs memory. So he teases you more, rubbing the tip of his hard member against your dripping folds. He loves how he can hear your lips squelch with every movement he makes.Â
Savouring the feeling of his cock head bumping into your clit, he places his hands on the mattress beside your waist. He moves his hips back and forth, letting his length glide against your lips but never going into your needy hole. The underside of his dick nestled within your folds, hitting your clit with each thrust.Â
âOh hmph⊠Cheollie please⊠inside please.â you moan salaciously, as you peak at how his cock is rubbing you. It looks so pornographic you almost come just at the sight of all.Â
âSorry baby, I just want to savour you for a bit.â He apologizes, his voice wavering as pleasure radiates through his body. The pre cum beading off the tip of his hardness. He relents his teasing, pulling back a bit to sit on the back of his heels. He stares at your knotted brows, the anticipation clearly written all over your face. Chuckling to himself he enters your tight cunt in one go. âSo fucking tight for meâŠâÂ
âCheol!â you yell his name, your legs held up to your chest by his large hands, folding you in half.Â
âHoly fuck princess, your pussy is perfect.â He praises into your ear while moving in and out of your entrance with ease. You clench around him after hearing him compliment you, your brain going blank with pleasure. The feeling of his cock makes you dizzy, especially with how perfectly he fills you. His large member stretching your walls deliciously, the tip grazing against that one spot that makes you weak.Â
âYou love taking this cock like a little slut donât you.â He mutters, letting go of your legs to put one against his shoulder. You can only nod and make sounds of approval.Â
Seungcheol admires the way his thick cock is spreading your entrance, making him groan. The white ring forming around the base of his dick makes his push into you faster. Your moans increase as you feel him speed up, the sounds of skin slapping fill the room. The echoing sounds of your wet pussy being filled by Seungcheolâs cock grows louder, making you even more horny than before.Â
You are so fucked out, you couldnât even form words of praise for him. The ridges of your walls being filled up by him is something you didnât know you needed until now.Â
That feeling you had in your chest on your way to Cheolâs place resurfaces, is this the night your friendship with him changes forever? You think to yourself while looking into his eyes, your eyebrows scrunching as you moan.
 The sight is so lewd, his member twitches inside your heat. He knows heâs close, but he doesnât want this to end. As he continues to thrust into you, he canât help but admire your beauty. Seungcheol was always aware that youâre an attractive person, but something about you being under him right now, drunk off his cock, basking in the moonlight that spills through the semi-closed curtain is really doing something to him. The feeling in his stomach only intensifies as he watches you moan his name deliriously. So fucking pretty, he thinks, the image of your coming undone burning into his memory.Â
âYou close princess?â He asks you, watching the way your legs are starting to shake a little. You nod as you look at him, silently pleading for him to make you cum. He flashes you a smile as his free hand goes to rub circles on your clit, continuing to piston in and out of your tightening hole. Eyes rolling with pleasure, your back arching off the bed as you lean into his touch even more. Clenching and then unclenching, your pussy is pulsing as it greedily sucks him in.Â
Seungcheol curses under his breath at the grip you have around his hard length, your walls pulsating with each circle he rubs into your clit. âIf you keep doing that, Iâm gonna come,â he warns you.Â
You smile at him mischeviously, repeating your actions again and again, watching his strokes becoming sloppier by the second.Â
âCome inside me Cheol, wanna see it drip out after,â you beg him, staring at him through your eyelashes innocently. He doesnât have to be told twice, his speed increasing once again. This shuts you up quickly, as you whine at the feeling of his tip kissing your cervix. You feel him twitch in you again, and you know heâs close, so are you. Letting go, you orgasm, letting the high wash over your whole body. Your orgasm triggers his, causing him to spurt his hot load into your spent pussy, creaming you.Â
âThat wasâŠâ you say with a sigh, the exhaustion starting to catch up with you. Seungcheolâs breathing is heavy, his cock still buried in your cunt, his cum starting to seep out of the edges of your folds.Â
âYeah it was.â He agress with you, finally pulling out. He takes a tissue from the bedside table, wiping off his softening member and then you. Kissing your forehead, he collects your clothes as well as his own.Â
You watch his muscular back as he picks up each article of clothing. A cold shiver running down your spine as the realisation washed over you, causing your heart to skip.Â
I just fucked my best friend, you thought to yourself. Your cheeks heat up profusely at how lustful you two became, but also your bashfulness turns into embarrassment and a little bit of worry. The talks youâve had with Jeonghan and the others about hooking up with a close friend flood your mind. You know things like these never end well, but at the same time this isnât just any other friend. This is Seungcheol, and for some reason you canât pinpoint whether thatâs a good or bad thing.Â
Seungcheol finishes picking up everything off the floor, handing you your corset as he puts his own clothing on. You untie the strings and clasp the front parts easily, only to struggle with re-tightening the back. With a meek expression, you stand in front of Cheol with your back facing him.Â
âUh, do you think you can tighten the back for me.â your voice sounding small. He smirks at how shy youâve become after the fact he fucked you shamelessly less than fifteen minutes ago.Â
âOf course princess,â he leans in to whisper in your ear. His breath fanning against your neck, causing you to shiver visibly. He lets out a low chuckle before tying up your corset, his fingers gliding agaisnt your skin. The touch is hot but gentle, yet the feeling lingers for a few seconds. You canât help but gulp, thinking about how just a few moments ago his grip was harsh and possessive. Before you could register what was happening next, he steps away, asking if you want to return to the party.Â
âThank you,â you mumble before taking his hand and leaving Jeonghanâs room.Â
It isnât long before you find the host of the party. He is leaning against the counter, laughing about something with Joshua. The party had dyed down considerably, the only people left were a part of your friend group. You leave Seungcheolâs side to go talk to Jeonghan.Â
âNow where have you been?â Jeonghan asks as you walk up to him, his smirk increasing as the blush on your cheeks grow. Your eyes are wide, as if he caught you doing something you shouldnât.Â
âU-um well me and Cheol just hung out in your room for a bit, the party was getting overwhelming.â you mentally curse yourself for stuttering.Â
âUh huh⊠hanging out. So do I or do I not have to wash my sheets?â Jeonghan presses, smiling deviously at how your mouth opens and then closes. Your eyes are wide with embarrassment, you can feel the heat radiate off your entire face.Â
âJeonghan!â You squeak, before grabbing his arm to pull him aside, leading him away from curious ears. âOk yes, please wash your sheets. Iâm sorry I don't know what happened, one thing just led to the next⊠and then yeah.â
You admit to your actions, feeling guilty for staining your best friend's sheets. Your eyes are glued to your twiddling thumbs, waiting for his response. Jeonghan laughs, he laughs. A hearty, bent over clutching his stomach type of laugh.Â
âFucking finally, oh my god Y/N. Sorry but it was bound to happen, you should've seen the way he was looking at you tonight. I swear to god if you didnât fuck him anytime soon he was going to eat you whole.â He giggles, his hand on your shoulder to support himself, as he tries not to double over again.Â
âW-what?â Youâre confused, you werenât really sure why Jeonghan said all that, from what you can remember Cheol was acting perfectly normal.Â
âYou really are so oblivious arenât you Y/Nie.â He sighs as he pats your head. âIâm just glad you got that out of your system, you havenât gotten laid in so long.âÂ
âHey! You donât have to say it like thatâŠâ you pout, âHannie, I donât know what to do now though? Frankly, Iâm scared, this is obviously going to change thingsâŠâÂ
âYouâll be fine, trust me. Just talk to him, itâs only Seungcheollie after all.â He comforts you, and it admittedly it does help. You knew if there was anyone you could talk to about this it would be Jeonghan.Â
âOk, Iâm going to his place after anyways. Thanks, Hannie. Also please donât tell Soonyoung and HaoâŠâ You plead.Â
âDonât worry darling, your secret is safe with me.â He smiles softly, pinching your cheek. You give him a hug, thankful you have someone to lean on when youâre feeling distraught. Especially because you canât get advice about Cheol from Cheol, even if heâs your best friend too.Â
âY/N letâs go home?â Seungcheol interrupts your embrace with Jeonghan. You pull away and his mouth is pressed into a thin line, the possessiveness obvious to anyone but you. Jeonghan playfully kisses your forehead, knowing how much it will piss Seungcheol off.Â
âOk, bye Hannie, Iâll see you on Monday ok?â you wave goodbye as Seungcheol takes your hand in his.Â
âBye Y/N, iâll speak to you later Seungcheollie. Get home safely you two.â He smirks, eyes connecting with Cheol. His face is hard with an unreadable emotion, he only nods at Jeonghanâs statement before leading you two to the front door.Â
You bid your friends farewell as you walk towards the entrance of the house, your eyes drifting over to see the drunken tiger sleeping peacefully on Minghaoâs shoulder. You wave goodbye to him as well before youâre engulfed by the chilly fall wind.Â
Itâs quiet as you continue on the path to his apartment, your footsteps echoing along the pavement. The city lights shine all around you, the moon gleaming in the dark sky. It really is a perfect day for Halloweekend, you think, hearing the cars zip past you along the street. It is nearing 2 a.m., and the streets are not as busy as they were while you were on the way here. Â
âYouâre not too cold right?â Seungcheol asks awkwardly with his hands in his pocket.Â
âA little but itâs only a couple blocks till your place so itâs okâŠâ you mumble, aware of the stiff atmosphere. He only nods before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, sharing his body heat with you. As you two stride down the pavement, you lean into his touch more. The silence between you two becomes more comfortable, admiring the scenery even more as youâre wrapped in his warmth.Â
VII.Â
The morning after you lay peacefully asleep on Cheolâs king sized bed. Your breathing steady as Seungcheol observes your soft features. Without even thinking his actions through, he pushes your hair so itâs not in your face. He takes in the way your brows are scrunching, the pout clear on your face even in your sleep. Cute, he thought.Â
It was a normal occurrence for you two to sleep in the same bed, platonically. A tradition that carried on from your child sleep overs to adulthood.Â
Reminiscing about the events from last night, Seungcheol feels a tug at his heart, heâs confused. Never have you two been that intimate with each other before, and heâs surprised at how much heâs thinking about what happened. The visions of you under him playing over and over again in his brain. This is the first time he has hooked up with someone thats made him think about his actions so intensely. But knowing that its you, out of all people, complicates his feelings even more.Yet he still forces himself to acknowledge the fact that your friendship has changed, but heâs still not sure if itâs good or bad.Â
â đ flash back to seungcheolâs freshman year.Â
beep. beep.Â
With a heavy heart Seungcheol hangs up the facetime call. You had to go to sleep early, and he only hung up a few minutes ago, but he already misses you.Â
The emptiness of his apartment was harrowing. The silence began to amplify, and the lack of noise caused his ears to buzz. The steadiness of his breath was the only sound keeping him grounded in his forlorn reality.Â
In his 18 years of life, he has never felt more alone. He was in his first year at University, in a different city full of strangers. Most importantly, he was thousands of miles away from you. You had been with Cheol for the better part of his life, and not having you close was a foreign feeling for him.Â
Pulling out his journal, he begins to write every single thought and feeling down, just needing a way to let go of all of his feelings. Telling you up front was scary for him, he didnât want to burden you with his problem especially since you had many of your own.Â
Itâs your last year and highschool and when you two were on the phone talking, it was mostly when you were studying for your next test or something along those lines.Â
Seungcheol wished that he could tell you everything that he held in his heart but it was just something he couldnt bring himself to do. You seemed so stressed and busy trying to make sure you were able to get into the same university as him, that he just didnât want to add on to the baggage that you were already carrying.Â
The familiar pang in his heart resurfaced once again, it ached in a way he couldnât really describe. The feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar as well as being around unfamiliar people just made him feel so alone, secluded. It started out with a simple âdear y/nâ.Â
Dear Y/n,Â
Today was just like the previous ones. I spent most of my time adjusting to my classes, going over lectures, and like every other day, I still miss you. I actually met someone new today, his name is Jeonghan, and I don't really like him all that much. Although heâs not my favourite person in the world he seems to make me feel less alone. His constant need to pester me about the dumbest things remind me so much of you. He has a childish attitude and I think you two would get along really well. Although in front of him I show distaste for his antics, I'm still thankful that he keeps me company. I wish I could just tell you whatâs happening but I want to stay strong. I want to stay strong so that when you get here I can be the one you lean on. I want to be the one that you can talk to when you become overwhelmed with your first year.Â
Just because I feel this way right now doesnât mean that you have to go through the same things as me. I just want you by my side. So hurry up and graduate so i can finally see you in person again.Â
Always yours,Â
Cheol.Â
â đ end of flashback.Â
Before he could wake you up for breakfast, his phone chimes with a notification. He picks up his phone, reading the name only to roll his eyes after, âYoon Jeonghanâ.Â
âHad fun last night Cheollie?â Jeonghan chuckles over the line, Seungcheol can already invision the smirk on Hanâs lips.
âSo much Jeonghan. Why do you ask.â Seungcheol says sarcastically as he gets up to leave the room, not wanting to wake you up from the phone call.Â
âIm going to need you to send me $50.â Seungcheol scoffs at this.Â
âThe fuck? Why?â He presses, pinching the bridge of his nose, he can already feel the headache coming on.Â
âBecause you and Y/n stained my sheets. Obviously.â Jeonghan says smugly.Â
Cheol rolls his eyes once again, he can already envision the look on Jeonghanâs face. He shouldâve expected that Y/n told him. He wasnât mad at her, but he knows that Jeonghan is never going to let this go. He sighs, it was the right thing to do, he literally fucked you on Jeonghanâs bed.Â
âFine fine, just donât call me again. I hear your voice enough at school as it is.â Seungcheol grumbles, knowing that even though he warns him, Jeonghan will continue to do what he wants. Cheol curses you in his head silently, wondering why a sweet girl like you became friends with the devilâs spawn.Â
âSoâŠyou gonna finally tell Y/n youâre in love with her?â Jeonghan asks in a non-chalant manner.Â
âJeonghan. Iâm not in love with her.âÂ
âSure youâre notâŠbut Iâm sure youâre pissed as hell knowing Wonwoo was admiring her all night.â Jeonghan teases, causing Seungcheols ears to heat up. He noticed it too, the way Wonwooâs eyes lingered on you for an abnormal amount of time. Multiple times that night Seungheol had caught him staring .Â
âWhatever man, Y/n is my best friend. I want it to stay that way.â Seungcheol huffs before hanging up, the agitation never leaving his body. Agitated at Jeonghan for spitting nonsense and agitated at Wonwoo for looking at you so intensely last night. He doesnât know why the latter has him so worked up, but he canât shake the feeling off so easily.Â
On the otherside of the door, you stand there, your heart sinking all the way down to your feet. You woke up shortly after Seungcheol went to pick up his call but decided to stay in bed a little longer. Now youâre fully awake, trying to keep your eyes dry after hearing the words that your best friend just uttered.Â
It shouldnât even hurt this much, you think. You know that all youâll ever be is Seugncheols best friend, but why did it feel like you have just been hit by a ton of bricks?Â
Before you could finish your thoughts the door slowly creaks open, so you blink away your unshed tears, coming face to face with your Seungcheol.Â
âOh. Didnât know you were awake.â Seungcheolâs eyes are wide, heâs wondering if you overheard his call with Jeonghan.Â
âY-yeah I just came from the washroom.â You stutter. A wave of relief washes over Seungcheol.Â
Whilst talking to Jeonghan over the phone, it felt like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone that he doesnât have feelings for you. It was like the words were practically being forced out of his mouth. The guilt was knawing at him, but why? Why should Seungcheol feel guilty for telling the truth? Youâre Y/n, his bestfriend Y/n. The Y/n he fucked deep into Jeonghanâs mattress last nightâŠÂ
âI feel like we should talk about last nightâŠâ He says after his train of thoughts.Â
Wide eyed and rosy cheeked, you didnât expect him to bring up the events of last night so early on. The visions of you and Cheol tangled in the sheets of Jeonghanâs bed starting to leak their way back into the forefront of your memory.Â
Instead of saying anything more, you just nod. Making your way to his couch, sitting at the corner where the back of the couch and armrest connected. Seungcheol follows suit. He looks serious, lips press into a thin line, eyeing you for some type of indicator that you feel the tension as much as he does.Â
âAbout last nightâŠâ you begin, not sure how you want to proceed, but you continue to talk anyways, âDid you enjoy it as much as I did?â
With that question, your heart stops momentarily, preparing for Seungcheol to tell you how much he regretted what happened.Â
âI did like it. But I just donât want this to ruin our friendship Y/n. Youâre my best friend.â Seungcheol confesses, youâre nerves put at ease momentarily. He keeps repeating those dreaded words âYouâre my best friendâ.Â
With every breath you take its like a stab in the chest.Â
âIf you regret it thatâs ok. We can just leave it in the past, but I just want to be honest with you CheolâŠâ you gulp, trying to find the right words to express how you feel,
âIâve never felt that good before, and if there was some way we could arrange something between us. I wouldnât be opposed.â You finally huff out. Gnawing anxiously at the inside of your cheek, you wait for his response.Â
Seungcheolâs heart skips a beat, heâs quick to agree. âIâm ok with that.âÂ
âI-Wait? Really? You wanna do thisâŠ?â youâre dumbfounded.Â
The man of reason himself, is agreeing to a friends with benefits situation. Huh?
Seungcheol is someone who is very aware of how âFWBâ tends to ruin friendships, but he canât resist this opportunity. Especially after last night.Â
âI do. I would be lying if I said I didnât want a round two of what happened at the party⊠but if we want to do this I feel like there should be some rules.â He concluded.Â
VIII.Â
âSo you are and Seungcheol are fuck buddies now?!â Jeonghan exclaims, you try your best not to slap the incredulous look off his face in the middle of the student union centre.Â
âOh my god why donât you just tell the whole world while youâre at it,â you seethe, shoving his shoulder lightly as he leans over the table, forcing him to sit back in his chair. His sandwich long forgotten.Â
Jeonghan has known the feelings youâve secretly harboured for Seungcheol for years now. He expected that after what happened at his halloween party you and Seungcheol would finally confess to each other. What he didnât expect were for the you to do to the exact opposite. Iâm surrounded by idiots, he thought to himself.
âYou two are the stupidest people alive I swearâŠâ he mutters under his breath. Youâre close enough to pick up what he said, giving him a glare from across the table.Â
That previous saturday morning you and Seungcheol hashed out the details of youâre enhanced friendship. It was a pretty simple set of rules:Â
No strings attached. If one person catches feelings then the agreement is null and void.Â
The ârelationshipâ is strictly exclusive. No fucking other people.Â
No one is to know about this. Exception: Jeonghan.Â
There wasnât really a point hiding anything from Jeonghan, even if Seungcheol was against him knowing, he knew that Jeonghan would find out one way or another.Â
âWeâve been friends for so long Hannie, this is just an added bonus.â You tell him, although a small part of you knows youâre convincing yourself more than anyone.
âGood afternoon to you all.â A cheerful voice interrupts your conversation. Soonyoung walks towards your table with a cheeky smile on his face. Minghao trails behind him, looking exhausted.Â
âAh so the tiger finally is out of his den huh?â Jeonghan chuckles, referring to Hoshiâs weekend long recovery after the halloween party. The three of them took time out of their saturday nursing Hoshi back to health.Â
âWell what can I say? You canât keep me tame for long.â He practically growls. Minghao side-eyes him, the look of disgust and worry painted all over his face.Â
â...Ok! So what were you two whispering about?â Minghao asks, wanting to stray as far away from the tiger discourse as fast as possible.Â
âIt wasnât anything important. Well would you look at the time! Jeonghan we gotta go or weâll be late to our class.â You try to avoid the conversation, the guilt start to boil in your stomach.Â
Of course you wanted let Minghao and Soonyoung know whatâs going on, but itâs just not a good idea. Especially after having a mutual agreement with Seungcheol not to tell anyone, other than Jeonghan. The more people know, the more blown out of proportion things could get.Â
âWell thats my queue, see you two love birds later!â Jeonghan waves at the two frenemies, knowing it would piss Hao off.Â
âHey! Yoon Jeonghan come back here!â You can hear Minghao yelling from across the room as you tug Jeonghan along. The only thing he does is throw his head back laughing, while Soonyoung looks around cluelessly.Â
IX.Â
âSo what should our research proposal be?â Wonwoo asks, looking at you for ideas.Â
After entering class the professor allowed time for partners to start brainstorming for the midterm project. With everything that has happened during the weekend you hardly had time to think about school again. You actively recall the events in your head, thinking about the way Seungcheol towered over you. The thought of it all causing your cheeks to heat.Â
âY/n? You still there?â Wonwoo calls out for you, waving his hand in front of your face.Â
Your eyes go wide, and you shake your head slightly, waking up from your self induced trance. Wonwoo on the other hand looked confused.Â
âYeah I was just thinking about something.â you mumble, your cheeks blushing even further. The fact that you were thinking about fucking Seungcheol while you were trying to work on a project made you feel bad for Wonwoo. Clearly you werenât focused on the task at hand, which was more important than your mid-day fantasies.Â
âOh ok. Anyways what do you think about doing child development and growing up with pets?â Wonwoo looks for your reaction, trying to gage whether you thought it was a good idea or not.Â
Internally, Wonwoo became curious on what has taken up half of your attention. He finds you interesting to say the least, and pretty. He doesnât know why it took him so long to realize how fun you are to be around, but a part of him wants to get to know you more. The other part conflicted, knowing that all your friends believe that you and Seungcheol are meant to be. Yet he canât help but wonder if he could be the one to make you fall instead of Cheol.Â
âThat actually sounds really interesting! I'm down to do that.â You smile at him, thankful heâs a good partner, and not someone who just makes you do all the work.Â
âPerfect. Honestly Iâm glad I have you as a partner Y/n. Youâre a lot better than the ones Iâve had in the past.â He confesses, putting a hand on your shoulder, his warm smile causing you to blush hard.Â
You glance over at his hand, before looking up at him once more. Wonwoo is an attractive man, you can admit that much. The time you spend with him is enjoyable to say the least, but to you heâs like any other guy friend you have. Seungcheol being the one exception, who has been on your mind since youâve met him. A man whoâs been able to woo you since you were kids, in the most silent and gentle ways too.Â
You leave your train of thought to answer Wonwoo once more.Â
âY-yeah same! Weâve had the same friends but for some reason we were never that close. Maybe we can change that.â You return his friendly affection. At least thatâs what it seems like to you, friendly affection.Â
âIâd like that a lot actually. I'm sure youâd be better company than the boys, or at least cleaner.â He laughs. You laugh along with him, not really thinking much of his words.Â
âŠ
Seungcheol was annoyed, he watches the way you and Wonwoo are laughing together. The blood in his veins already starting to curdle and boil. Who does Wonwoo think he is? His habit of wanting to be around you at all times kicks in once more.Â
Cheol is aware of his possessive tendencies, but he doesnât ever admit about them out loud. It wouldnât be fair to speak on your actions when you arenât dating him romantically. Although he convinces himself heâs only your best friend, he canât help but refuse to push aside his jealousy of seeing Wonwoo spend time with you when it should be him instead.Â
âYou know Wonwoo isnât going to spontaneously combust the longer you look at him. Youâre going to have to try a different tactic.â Jeonghan mutters beside him, trying not to laugh at Seungcheol.Â
âI dont know what youâre talking about.â Seungcheol crosses his arms, pouting, looking like a cranky child who didnât get his way. He knows Jeonghan is right but he canât help but try to blow up the whole lecture hall in his mind.Â
âOh please, cut the act Cheollie. We both know youâre jealous of them. Wonwoo isnât even doing anything and Y/n seems to already be falling for his charms.â
âJeonghan whatever you have planned I donât want to be apart of it.â Seungcheol quips, but he can still see the mischievous grin begin to form on Jeonghanâs face within his peripheral vision.Â
âWhat plan?â Jeonghan gasps, putting his hand over his chest, feigning an insulted expression. Trying to keep up the act, as if Cheol didnât have him all figured out.Â
âŠ
âThanks for today Wonwoo!â You beam at him, sitting up from your desk to collect your things. He smiles back at you, the crescent shape of his eyes emphasizing.Â
âMaybe next time we can go to a cafe for our next study session?â He suggests, looking at you for a sign of approval.Â
âYeah that sounds like fun actually!â You agreed, feeling happy that youâre partner is actually wanting to put in the work for once. âAnyways, I gotta go meet up with Cheol, see you soon!âÂ
âSee you Y/n.â He smiles at you politely, like always, and you find it quite endearing.Â
You wave him one last goodbye before finishing up packing your things, and putting your laptop in your bag.Â
âY/nie!â Jeonghan calls out for you, standing by the door with Seungcheol.
You turn around and spot them, waving at them with excitement. Focusing more on your best friend than the person who called your name. His blond hair flowed, the tight polo shirt hugging his large biceps. You drooled inwardly, trying not to get caught practically eye-fucking him.Â
He catches you staring at him, smirking at you as you continue to get closer. Pulling you in by the waist he hugs you. This caught you off guard, Cheol was never one for affection in public. Even as friends, itâs always been within privacy, unless there was some type of special occasion.Â
âAlways wearing a tight little skirt for me arenât you princess?â He whispers in your ear, causing you to blush.Â
 Oh. His voice is low enough that youâre the only one that can hear him. So this is why he hugged you? Because of the outfit you have on? You really hadnât thought much of it, the skirt didnât seem short in your own opinion, but you became flustered knowing it was turning him on.Â
âY/n and I gotta do something, see you later Jeonghan.â Seungcheol dismisses him quickly, tugging you past the lecture doors without another word.Â
You begin to follow him down the long corridors of your University, pushing past crowds of people as they all herd towards their next class. The opposition of the two of you moving in the other direction causing you to bump into each person you pass. A string of ââexcuse meâsââ and âsorryâsâ leaving your lips. The handsome and strong man pulling you by your waist doesnât care who he bumps into, his mind only on one thing and one thing only.Â
It happens all within a blink of an eye, and before you can become fully aware of whatâs going on, you find yourself in an empty classroom. The door locks with a click behind you.Â
âDid you enjoy your study session with Wonwoo?â Seungcheol inquires out of nowhere, feigning nonchalance. Just saying his name is starting to piss him off. Yes he sees Wonwoo as a friend, but he wants you to only see Wonwoo that way too.Â
âIt was normalâŠwhy?â youâre suspicious. Since when did he care about the fact that youâre partners with Wonwoo? You wonder to yourself, but he continues to try and close the distance between you two.Â
âI could see the way he was looking at you, even though I was across the room.â He huffs, like a spoiled child who was told to share.Â
âI donât know what youâre talking about Cheol.â you sighed. âSounds like youâre jealous.âÂ
Your heart skips a beat as you utter those words. If Seungcheol is jealous of Wonwoo what does that mean for the two of you? Does he wants you more than as someone to press into his mattress each night? You pondered it for a moment, but youâre highly doubtful of that being the case. It just canât be, Seungcheol grew up as an only child, he probably just doesnât like to share, you try to justify.Â
âJealous? Baby of course Iâm jealous. I donât like to share.â He scoffs, fuck not voicing out my jealousy, he thinks. Itâs like you were reading his mind. Â
He begins striding his way over to you till your back is pressed against the desk behind you.Â
âItâs not like we were going to hook up, heâs my partner?â It was your turn to scoff at him, trying to ignore your pulse quickening as his face inches closer to yours.Â
Seugncheol looks down at your lips, admiring how your teeth graze against them as you bite down. He likes that he has an effect on you, especially with knowing that heâs the only one who gets to see you like this. Just thinking about being the only one making you come causes the blood to flow down straight to his already hardening member.Â
Placing his large hands on your hips, he tugs you closer to him. A gasp leaves your lips as you feel his hard on against your thigh. Your eyes staring up at him, admiring how he is towering over you, the stern look on his face causing warmth to pool at your core. Youâve always loved how much larger he is compared to you, his shoulders and arms enclosing you completely.Â
âThat better be all he is to you angel, this pussy is mine.â He mutters against your neck, trailing kisses on your delicate skin. As your eyes roll back, you whimper, relishing in the feeling of his lips and the tightness of his grip on your waist.Â
He pulls you on to the desk, causing you to sit, your legs spread wide enough for him to slip in between. Caressing your exposed thighs, he canât help but let out a groan as he feels the softness of your skin. Everything about you and your body made his head dizzy with lust, especially when you look at him so innocently with anticipation. Youâre alway so eager for his next move.Â
âI love how wet this pussy gets for me. Barely touched you and youâre already soakedâ He mumbles, grazing a finger ahaisnt your underwear clad wetness. The feeling of his fingers make your knees weak, and he hasnât even put them inside you. He continues to move his fingers against you while kissing you tenderly. After what happened at Jeonghanâs, Seugncheol has been dying to get his hands on you again, savouring the taste of your lips even more.Â
The smack of your lips moving against his fill the quiet classroom. It was so eerily silent through out the room that you become paranoid that someone might catch you two. Knowing how much your reputation matters for your scholarship, you wonder what the reparations would be caught having sex in public.Â
âHmm Cheol.â You whine, but your legs spread further instead of shutting closed. âWeâre at school, we canât be doing this.âÂ
Your brain is fogged by his touch even as you try to think rationally. With every kiss and every stroke of his finger, your mind begins to slip into a state of pleasure. The outside world becoming a muted background as Seungcheol is pulled further into the forefront of your mind.Â
âBut look at you all needy. Would you rather I just leave you like this?â He practically purred into your ear, licking up the side of your neck as he sucks behind your ear. The hotness of his breath and the heat of his kisses makes you give in to him completely.Â
Fuck it felt so dirty being here, but you canât bring yourself to ask him to stop.Â
âThis pussy needs tending to doesnât it baby?â He chides, his tone of voice causing to whine against him once more. You decide to let your morals go for just one moment, spreading your legs further, giving him full access to where you needed him most.Â
Instead of staying anything more, he takes the opportunity to press his lips against yours once again. The urgency of the kiss causing you to moan against his mouth, feeling the way his tongue pushes past your lips, caressing your mouth with passion and vigour.Â
His hand snaking their way down to your skirt, pulling off your lace underwear without any hesitation. You lift your hips to ease their removal, excited to feel his fingers fill you.
 As he pushes a finger in, you gasp into his mouth, the squelch of your wetness echoes within the walls of the classroom. His finger pumps your hot pussy, your core clenching and unclenching with each thrust of his hand. Seungcheol continues to add more fingers until heâs able to fit up to three comfortably. Your moans never ceasing for a single moment, the euphoria of his long digits massaging your soft spot causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head.Â
âWant you.â You somehow were able to voice out, begging him for his length to fill you instead.Â
âBe clear with your words princess. Iâm already giving myself to you.â He plays dumb, continues you finger you as his thumb circles your clit.Â
âI want you inside me please.â You let out another moan, the stimulation of him pumping his fingers into you, while rubbing your sensitive bud has your mind going blank.Â
âI am inside you love.â He chuckles, enjoying you beg for him. His member straining against his jeans. Seungheol could continue this for hours, but he knows the moment you ask, heâll be fucking you with his hard length instead.Â
âWant your cock please Choelieâ You whine louder, your hands making their way to unbuckle his belt.Â
âGood girl, thats what I wanted to hear.â He mutters against your neck, finally moving his hands away from your body to remove his jeans.Â
The absence of his fingers make you whine, but youâre quickly silenced by the feeling of his thick length pushing past your wet pussy lips. It makes you gasp and lean black slightly, your arms locked at the elbow as you try to support yourself.Â
âS-so good.â Youâre words practically imcomprehensable as Seugncheol pumps himself inside and out of you. His length leaving your warmth only to push back into you fully once more. Over and over till a creamy ring appears at the base of his cock.Â
âWhoâs pussy is this princess?â He asks you, his hand making its way to your neck, holding onto you tight, but only enough to make your head go fuzzy.Â
âMmph Yours!â You sputter, only able to think about the way his hardness is caressing against that one spot against you. He hits it once more and before you know it youâre coming all over his length.Â
âFuck youâre so tight angel.â He praises you, snapping his hips till heâs filling you with his hot white seed.Â
âAh Cheol.â You call out slaciously, your head falling against his shoulder, tired from how hard he fucked you.Â
âYouâre always so good for me arenât you?â He kisses your cheek as he takes a tissue from your bag to clean you up.Â
Too tired to respond you let him take care of you, it causes your pulse to beat against your veins hard. Hiding your face in his chest, he helps you get dressed after your classroom quickie.Â
You jump off the desk, his hand wrapping around you to ensure you donât fall. Knees wobbling slightly you hold onto him for support. One thing you canât seem to get over is how caring he is after heâs pumped you full of his come. In a fucked up way it makes you fall for him further.Â
âYou ok to walk?â he cautioned, not wanting you to fall to the ground. You only nod and simply wrap a hand around his bicep, stablizing you.Â
âIâm fine, but can we go home now?â You murmur, placing a kiss on his cheek as an unspoken thank you.Â
âOf course.âÂ
X.Â
After getting home from school and Seungcheolâs place, you decide to give Jeonghan a call. You didnât know how to feel about what happened today, especially after Seugncheol had expressed his jealousy for Wonwoo. Maybe it really isnât that deep, but the fact he acted so possessive made your stomach flutter, but also confused you even more.Â
Jeonghan is the only person who knows whatâs been happening, so you turn to him in your time of need. What you didnât expect was from him to yell into your ear instead.Â
âWhy are you fucking in a classroom, are you insane?!â Jeonghan yells at you through the speaker of his phone. Your cheeks turning a bright pink at his words.Â
âOk I know it was a bad idea, but its fine we didnât get caught!â you try to justify your actions, but you agree it is pretty insane to fuck in a classrom, especailly during school hours. It was like you were possessed in the heat of the moment, nothing couldâve stopped you from letting Cheol fuck you.Â
âY/n you canât just be making bad decisonms because youâre âHâ word!â He scolds you, sounding like your mother for a second. You canât help but giggle at the fact that he hates saying the word horny. Jeonghan once telling you someone like him should never say such an ugly word.Â
You roll your eyes even though he canât even see you. Youâre phonecall with him quickly turning into a lecture because of how hard heâs scolding you right now.Â
âDonât you dare roll your eyes at me young lady.â He warns you, causing you to jump and look around your room. You know hes not here but somehow youâre spooked.Â
âYou canât even see me so how would you know?â You bite back defensively even though you know hes right.Â
âBecaue I know you! Oh my Y/nie one day this whole situation is going to bite you in the ass. You and Cheol should jsut be responsible adults and confess already.â He groans, he isnât even the one in this predicament and yet hes the frustrated one.Â
âOk Han, you were literally on call with him the morning after your party. You heard him! He only sees me as a friend.â You counter, not wanting to have to remind yourself that your best friend doesnât like you back.Â
âOh please Y/nie, we both know he was lying out of his ass.âÂ
âHow would you know? He sounded pretty confident to me.â You mutter, absentmindedly playing with the drawstring on your shorts. The scene continues to replay in your head, he obviously doesnât like me, you think. You can still recall the way your heart stopped beating for a millisecond as you heard him utter those words.Â
âYou two are impossible.â Jeonghan sighs, thinking hard. And with that, it was like a lightbulb went off in his head, with a large ding and everything. âY/nie donât hate me but I have an idea.âÂ
âHuh? What is it?âÂ
âWhat if you try and make him jealous.â He chuckles, itâs soft but there was an evil sound to it all. Â
âJeonghan whatever idea you have brewing in the scheming head of yours, I dont want to hear it.â You warn him, already not liking where this is going. The thought of seeing Seugncheol jealous is intriguing indeed, but what happens if you realize you donât even have that effect on him? It would be so embarrassing.Â
âYouâll never know what could happen unless you try!â He concludes in a sing-song tone, you can already invision the menacing look on his face.Â
âHannie itâs so highschool, I donât think itâd be smart to do something like that.âÂ
âOk but youâll fuck him on campus grounds?â He rebuttals, shutting you up quickly.Â
âI-â You couldnât even defend yourself.Â
âNight Y/nie! See you tomorrow.â The line goes dead, and you curse out at your blank phone screen. Leave it up to Yoon Jeonghan to put bad ideas into your head.Â
XI.
The next day you sit with Wonwoo in a coffee shop that is only a few minutes away from campus.The city had gotten more chilly with each day that passed, and the cafe was a perfect meeting place to do your project. The warm atmosphere enveloped yout two into a perfect working rhythm. Your partnership with Wonwoo was a lot better than the previous ones youâve had for classes, you agree to spend the majority of your time going over what to add to the presentation, as well as how it should be presented. Hours felt like minutes, and you two ended up finished earlier than you had anticipated.Â
âIâm so surprised how quickly we got through everything! We even finished everything early,â you rejoiced, happy that Wonwoo is such a productive partner.Â
âHonestly we make a really good team.â Wonwoo compliments you, giving you that same polite smile. You end up blushing, his eyes staring at you with so much kindness.Â
âI agree, hopefully we get paired up more for the rest of the semester.â You giggle, shying away from his gaze.Â
As you spent more time with Wonwoo, you realized how nice it was to be around him. He makes a good friend, and heâs definitely a lot more than just the quiet guy in the group. His personality more complex than what you had previously assumed, and it makes you wonder why you two werenât really all that close in the first place. The two of you have the same friends, take the same classes, and enjoy the same things. So what was the one thing blocking you two from becoming closer?Â
âWell thatâs all for today. I can walk you home.â He clears up his things, ready to leave the serene environment of the cafe, throwing away his cup along with yours.Â
âOh no you donât have to! Cheol is actually going to pick me up!â You tell him, seeing his black BMW sitting idle in front of the cafe already.Â
âSounds good. Let me walk you out at least.â He gestures to the door, allowing you to walk in front of him. He follows you suit till youâre in front of Seungcheolâs car. âIt was fun, Iâll see you tomorrow. Same time?âÂ
âYeah sure! Iâll be free.â You beam up at him, his frame towering over yours.Â
The wind is blowing slightly, causing your hair to get in your face, whipping at your eyes. Wonwoo is quick to react, taking the strand and placing it softly behind your ear. The heat begins to crawl up your neck fast, making you realize how close you two are standing together.Â
Wonwoo leans in a touch more to place a soft kiss on your cheek, and the blush on your face is definitely evident now. Before you can say more, hes walking away with one last good bye. Leaving you there standing with a shocked expression painted all over your face. Quickly you shake your head of what just happened before heading into Seungcheolâs car.Â
âWere you two on a date?â His voice is stern, obviously pissed off at what he just witnessed.Â
â...No just working on our project.â you say with a dazed look, watching Wonwoo's figure get smaller the farther he walks away.Â
âOkâŠbut he kissed you on the cheek? I thought he was just your partner.â Cheol presses for answers, he really wasnât impressed of having to witness such an intimate moment between you and Wonwoo. His blood curdling as the grip on his steering wheel tightens. The flesh on his knuckles turning a ghostly white.
âHe is just my partner, I really donât know why he did that.â You mutter as you try to recall all of the events that couldâve led up to this moment. It didnât make sense to you, did Wonwoo have a crush on you or something? Heâs never made any advances towards you before. So what changed that?Â
âHe obviously likes you. Do you like him back?â Seungcheol is too jealous for his own good. His pulse reaching new heights with how fast the blood was pumping through his veins. You canât like Wonwoo, thereâs just no way. Right?
âWell no. I see Wonwoo as a friend.â you admit, and the relief sped its way through Seungcheolâs body.
Although another side of him is wondering why it made him so angry to see Wonwoo act so flirtatious with you. He concludes that he just donesnât like it when peoples are touching whatâs his. Wonwooâs his friend and you and Cheol are intimate with each other, it would just be weird for Wonwoo to try something with you too, at least thatâs what Seungcheol says to himself as he tries to calm himself down. Youâre his best friend, nothing more, he keeps repeating it in his head. And if you decide to break off the arrangement with him to date Wonwoo, then he canât complain.Â
âOh. I see.â He mumbles as he starts the car again, taking the route to bring you back to your apartment.Â
âŠ
You and Seungcheol sit against your sofa watching a yet another ghibli movie. This time it is Kikiâs Delivery Service. Cuddled up in your blankets, your Friday movie marathon happening like clockwork at this point. Nothing can make you feel more content than feeling Seungcheolâs heartbeat as you watch your favourite movies with him.Â
His breathing is steady as his arm holds you close to him, his attention focused on the moving flashing across your tv. On the other hand, you continue to stare at him, his strong brows and nose bridge has always been your favourite feature of his. You love how manly he appears, but you know on the inside he like a big ball of fluff, so warm and inviting. He just smelt like home, even though your real home is miles away, heâs a piece that you can carry around with you anywhere you go.Â
As the movie continues to play in the background your attention is forced away from admiring your best friend and brought towards your phone. It lights up with a text notification from Wonwoo.Â
Wonwoo: Hey Y/n. I know this is sudden but Iâd really like to take you out sometime. Would that be ok with you?Â
Your eyes practically pop out of their sockets as you read the text over and over again. It kind of makes sense that heâs asking you, especially with how he acted today. But what does this mean for the situation between you and Seungcheol? You decide to respond anyways, not wanting to flat out reject him over text.Â
Y/n: uhhmm iâm not sure, can i have time to think about it? :)Â
Wonwoo: Sure. Take your time.Â
Beside you, Seungcheol sits with an arm wrapped around your shoulder. He knows he shouldnât look at your texts but he canât help himself. The moment he decides to, he begins to curse himself mentally, reading the text over and over again just like you. It pisses him off, seeing how forward Wonwoo is about his feelings towards you.Â
He ultimately decides not to say anything the moment you reply to Wonwooâs text, why did you even need to think about it? Shouldnât you have said no if you donât have feelings for Wonwoo? His heart falling all the way down to the pit of his stomach. The familiar feeling of the tug on his heart coming back to haunt him once again. Instead of asking you, he decides to call in early for tonight.
âHey angel I think iâm gonna head home early tonight.â He whispers to you, stroking the back of your head softly. The stinging behind his eyes doesnât leave, he just canât seem to get rid of it. He looks at you with such tenderness, from an outside perspective someone would mistake his stare for utter and complete love.Â
You look up from your phone, locking it before looking at him with a worried frown strewn across your lips.Â
âIs everything ok? Youâre not sick right?â you ask, placing a hand against his forehead to check his temperature. He shakes his head, taking your hand and placing it in his. His long fingers wrapping around yours, squeezing them reassuringly.Â
âNo no, iâm fine. Just gotta wake up early tomorrow.â He attempts to give you a convincing smile. You donât know why the mood has changed all of a sudden but you begin to worry even more.Â
âCheolie is something wrong?â You press the issue, not wanting for him to leave just yet.Â
âNo nothingâs wrong. Trust me Iâm ok.â He insists before getting up to to grab his jacket and leave. And just like the seasons passing through the city, he left with a swiftness you couldnât seem to comprehend. The hurriedness of his movements leaving you dazed and confused.
The guilty pit at your stomach only seemed to grow the longer the silence filled your tiny apartment. Seungcheolâs once warm presence left a dent on the cushions beside you and a cold cup of tea on the coffee table. You frown at the now empty living space, as well as the empty hole in your heart, which can only be filled by the man who left without another word.Â
XII.Â
The snow began to fall in your city. It came unexpectedly, and left just the same. This winter being colder than most, you started to feel the seasonal depression coming on a lot faster than usual.Â
Seungcheol left so abruptly that day, and with the midterm project you werenât able to reach out to him since then. It felt weird because this is the first time in a long time youâve gone without talking to him. The week dragging along as you head into midterm break, trying to think of what to say to him the moment youâre able to talk to him again.Â
For some reason, ever since that night you have had a weird feeling in your stomach. Call it intuition but it felt like Seungcheol was avoiding you. Even though you werenât able to reach out to him, he also didnât try to do so either. The predicament you find yourself in causing your thought to stray as you study for the second round of midterm exams.Â
You would see him often, in class, or eating with friends, but strangely enough he was gone before you could muck up the courage to approach him. The two of you stuck in an odd limbo that feels like it wonât end.Â
During this time in previous years, it would be you and Seungcheol studying together in the library, but with your current situation you knew it wasnât going to happen. So instead you sit with Jeonghan and Minghao, figuring out how to cram as much information as you can for the statistics final.Â
âY/n? You keep gazing out the window, is everything ok?â Minghaoâs voice cuts off your thoughts. His eyesbrown knotted together in worry.Â
âHuh? Oh yeahâŠeverythingâs ok.â You mumble, your eyes still looking out the window. The campus now coevered in a layer of snow, students walking around, bundled up in winter coats.
âYou sure? Youâve been staring out there for almost fifteen minutes now.â He checks on you again. You can only muster up a sound of approval.Â
Thankfully Minghao isnât one to push to get an answer so he leaves it there. The sudden urge to pee overcomes you, causing you to walk over to the libraries bathroom. But before you could reach it, two people walk into the library, causing you to do a double take.Â
The last person you expected to walk in is heading towards an empty table. Your heart beat stuck in your throat, the urge to use the bathroom is long gone. As you watch Seungcheol sit down with a girl, you feel the tears start to well. You were so confused as to why he has time to ask this random ass person to study with him, when he couldâve sent you a text instead. It made no sense to you, and with that, you leave the library without another thought.Â
The tears falling down your cheeks with every step you took. Seeing him with another girl pulled hard at your heart strings, unsurfacing a feeling you thought you got rid of long ago. You continue to walk with your head down, just trying to think of a private space to let out your emotions. But before you could do so, you bump into something hard, which turns out to be a manâs chest. Looking up you realize itâs Wonwooâs chest.Â
âY/n? You ok? Why are you crying?â Wonwoo speaks so fast, the worry spilling out of his mouth in words. His hand flying up to your face, wiping any tears that fall before they could roll down any further.Â
âI-I donât even know why iâm crying. This is so stupid my god, iâm sorry you have to see me this way,â youâre hicupping through your words. You begin to sob, and you feel wonwooâs strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close. Giving you the comfort that you would usually receive from Seungcheol.Â
Wonwooâs large frame squeezes you in, giving you that secluded space that you were once searching for.Â
Behind you is the frame of a man who is your usual safe space, your usual secluded corner. The one to help you deafen out the world from its ugliness and anger. He stands there watching you trade his comfort for Wonwooâs. Heâs never known what itâs like to be on the outside perspective and witness your hurt in this way. In the arms of another. With every moment passes as he watches Wonwoo comfort you instead, he feels his whole world crumble and fall at his feet.Â
XIII.
â đ flash back to seungcheolâs freshman year.Â
âYou talk a lot about this y/n person. Is she your girlfriend by chance?â Jeonghan asks Seungcheol.Â
âNo dumbass sheâs my childhood bestfriend. Iâve known her for a long time.â Seungcheol tries to clarify his relationship with you, not wanting others to mistake you two for something more.Â
âI dont know man, you only ever talk about Y/n.â Jeonghan shrugs before going back to his paper.Â
Seungcheol thinks about Jeonghanâs words, âwhy is she always popping up in my conversations?â, he wondered to himself. He canât help the fact that he talks about you so much, youâre all he knows after all. The only one to experience anything and everything with him. He canât help but want everyone to know what an amazing person you are, and the fact thatt everything around him somehow reminds him of you. It was like an empidemic. You conquered all corners of his brain, always with him, but far enough for him to miss you all at the same time.Â
âYou know, itâs not a bad thing if you have feelings for her. She seems like a great girl.â Jeonghan pipes up after realizing how little work Seungcheol gotten done due to his rampant thoughts.Â
âYeah I guess if i did, it wouldnât be a bad thing.â He mutters, attempting to focus on his work once again.
â đ end of flash back.Â
XIV.Â
For the majority of midterm break, you spent it cooped up within the confines of your room. Wrapping yourself in enough blankets to put a bear into hibernation. Youâve gone back and forth with your own thoughts. Calling yourself dramatic for crying over pretty much nothing, to crying again because you canât just invalidate the pain you felt when you saw him with someone else, and you donât even know what she is to him. Long story short, the over thinking is getting to you, but calling him up is the last thing youâre about to do.Â
Although youâve never really fully admitted or denied it, you know youâre love for Seungcheol goes beyond friendship. Youâve known for so long, and kept it to yourself for so long, and yet youâve never known whether he felt the same way. His actions always contradicting his words.Â
The clichĂ© trope of the pain of falling for your best friend is as old as the bible. The story of the unrequited love you convince yourself youâll never have reciprocated, and yet at the end of every story everything works out, the two friends turned lovers. The end. But what about you? What about the fact that this isnât some story and you wonât be able to get ahold of your own clichĂ© best friends to lovers ending.Â
Before you could spiral even further a notification dings, your phone screen lighting up.Â
Cheolie <3: im outside.Â
Seeing the text makes your heart drop, but you canât seem to stop yourself from climbing out of bed and opening the door to let him in. As you did so, you take a good look at his state. In fairness, he looked just as shitty as you did, if not worse.Â
The eyebags accenuating how tired he looks, his cheeks slightly sunken in. Probably from lack of sleep, and not to mention the way his hair seems to stick up sporadically, you know immediately itâs because he keeps running his hands through it.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â You cut to the chase, your heart already pounding out of your chest.Â
âI-um. Iâm not sure actually.â Seungcheol admits, his head falling as he stares at his feet nervously. You sigh, opening the door wider to let him through.Â
He looks lost and not like his usual self, which makes you feel even worse, but what could you even do to help him? You two werenât even mad, or had a fight, everything is just weird. So vague and hard to explain. All you knew is that youâre hurt and heâs at the root of it all.Â
âI donât have all day, Seungcheol.â You call him by his first name, and you can see how it pains him. The way his frown deepens with each moment you two stand there in the foyer, not exchanging the words youâre meant to say.Â
âIâm sorry, I know we havenât spoken in awhile and I just- fuck I dont even know man. I saw that text with Wonwoo and I just freaked out.â He puffs out, running his hand through his hair once more.Â
âSo thats why youâve been acting weird? Because of Wonwoo?â The look on your face is unreliable and Seungcheol feels the knot in his throat begin to form. Your hand come to cross in front of your chest and you scoff. âJust because Wonwoo shows interest in me doensât mean I have feelings for him.âÂ
âWhat? But you didnât reject him?â He presses on the situation even further.Â
âI just didnât want to be an asshole and do it over text.âÂ
âYeah right, I saw you two cuddled up last week!â He dejects, his arms flying around as he speaks. He doesnât know why you decided right now is a good time to lie to him, but he knows what he saw that day.Â
âAs if you werent spending time with some girl instead of communicating to me whatâs wrong in the first place? Youâre unbelievable. I canât read your mind Seungcheol, and why do you even care about what happens between me and Wonwoo? Weâre just friends remember? Or do you only say that when youâre on the phone with Jeonghan?â You spat, the words on your tongue coming out as fireballs of hurt. Every single one hitting him right in the chest.Â
âWe are best friends. I canât explain why I was so worked up, but if you were going to start dating him, you shouldâve broken off what we had first.â Seungcheol attempts to defend himself, spewing out whatever he can to justify his acts of stupidity. He knows himself that what heâs saying wasnât what you wanted to hear, but he couldnât bring himself to tell you how in love he is with you.Â
âOk so because of that, you just get to do whatever the fuck you want then huh? The rules just donât apply to Choi Seungcheol do they? It doensât matter if I get hurt in the process of it all.â You sneer, the cold look on your face never faltering.Â
âNo Y/n, I know we made rules but you broke them first. I just copied your actions.â He replies, it makes you mad that he lashed out because of a misunderstanding. You feel fed up, too tired to talk to him or argue further. The tears already threatening to spill the more you look at him.Â
You and Seungcheol never fought, you canât even remember the last time it happened. It was probably when you two were still kids, fighting over something silly and not talking for an hour, only to make up the same day. This fight is different though, so many things said out of anger, you knew it wouldnât just be forgotten the next day.Â
âI really canât stand you right now.â You say as a lone tear slips out, the salitness of it hitting your lips.Â
âThen sit.â He bites back, his facade almost cracking as he sees your tearful expression.Â
âFuck you. Go home Seungcheol.â You walk to the door, opening it enough to allow him to exit your home. He doesnât protest, his anger and sadness bubbling up faster with each second that passes. Heâs smart enough to not let his temper overcome him completely.Â
As the door closes on him, you let out an agonizing cry. Your sobs raking through your body as if the whole earth had crashed ontop of you. The echo of your cries filling the room, mocking you, reminding you of your loneliness.Â
XV.
Seungcheol hasnât been feeling well since the argument that went down a few days ago, but he canât bring himself to contact you again. The anger and sadness he felt quickly dissipated into nothing but shame. He knows itâs his fault. Its his fault that he didnât communicate with you properly, and the fact that he couldnât bring himself to tell you he loves you. He doesnât even know who he was trying to convince, but that argument with you made him realized so much about himself, you, and the friendship you two have.Â
The constant sleepless nights were starting to catch up with him, the bags under his eyes more prominent than they were the last night he saw you.Â
There are times he catches glimpses of you on campus and it pulls on his heartstrings, especailly because half the times he seen you, youâve been with Wonwoo. It pains Seungcheol to know that youâve been hanging out with him since the fight had gone down, but he has no right to stop you. After everything, he should be understand to let you do what you want freely.Â
âWell donât you look like shit.â Jeonghan interupts his train of thought, sitting beside him in the library. He takes out his notes and laptop, ready to work on their project for theri psychology class.Â
âWow thanks, I didnât know.â Seungcheol grumbled, hating how cheerful Jeonghan looks in comparaison to his own gloomy expression.Â
He takes out his tablet, pulling up their project. As much as he wants to ponder about you some more, he knows that he should probably focus on the rest of the project they need to complete. But everytime he tries to focus on anything other than you he ends up failing.Â
âSo what happened to you?â Jeonghan asks. He can tell something is wrong, both Seungcheol and Y/n have been looking so down in the dumps lately, and Y/n is flat out ignoring him, Soonyoung and Minghao.Â
Seungcheol canât even hold it in anymore, if there's anyone he can talk to about what happened, he knows it's Jeonghan. Despite their quarrelling, he finds Jeonghan to be a trustworthy person.Â
Before he can even speak, he recalls your face, the tears that were about to spill, and the way your voice sounded when you two were fighting. He doesn't even recognize either of you from that day, it was just so out of character for the two of you to fight like that. And the only thing he can do is blame himself for everything that happened.Â
Seungcheol feels his throat constrict, and his eyes start to sting. He hates that feeling, the feeling of crying and being vulnerable. In all four years of knowing Jeonghan he never thought heâd be crying in front of him. But once he asked that question it was like everything came crashing down upon him once more. All the memories of you, especially the ones from your fight make his heart ache so bad he has to clutch his chest.Â
âUh.. Y/n and I, we fought. It was a huge fight and it was really bad. I donât know what to do and iâm so scared Han. I-I think I love her.â He confesses to Jeonghan, as the tears begin to slip down his cheeks.Â
As he explains what happened that night, Jeonghan canât help but feel sad with him. The way Seungcheol speaks about the events leading up to the fight and the fight itself makes his heart ache for the two of you. He also canât help but mentally scold you two. He knew from the moment that Seungcheol and Y/n decided to partake in becoming friends with benefits, that it would just blow up in flames in the end. They love each other too much to say what's really on their mind. So afraid to ruin their friendship that choosing to become friends with benefits did that for them instead.Â
âThen let her know how you feel.. God Seungcheol, Iâve been telling this to the two of you for years now. You need to tell her, before it's too late.â Jeonghan is practically begging him, pulling Seungcheol into a much needed hug.Â
âŠ
You sit there, Wonwoo sitting beside you at the same cafe you two have been going to for the past week now. He always does the same thing, ordering your matcha latte and keep you company while you re-think your fight with Seungcheol. He can see that youâre hurting but he doesnât ever overstep any boundaries youâve set up. Instead he just sits there, waiting for you when youâre ready to talk to him.Â
You called him after your fight with Seungcheol, not knowing who else to turn to. You know that Jeonghan wouldâve been available but you werenât ready for the lecture that he wouldâve given you. Calling Wonwoo that one night turned into every night, and every night turned into daily trips to the cafe. He sits there, keeps you company, you thank him and he goes home. As much as he likes you, he realizes that youâre deeply in love with your best friend, even though you wonât directly tell him.Â
Wonwoo knew something happened between you and Seungcheol, especially because of how red your eyes were that night you called him for the first time. As well as the fact that he caught glimpses of Seungcheol staring at you with so much longing during class, it even makes Wonwooâs own heart ache.Â
âWe fought over you.â You finally speak up, not bothering to stare into Wonwooâs eyes, instead opting to swirl your latte with your straw.Â
âWhat? Whyâ Heâs confused, why me? He asks himself.Â
You finally look at him, letting out a bittersweet chuckle, you wish you kenw too. Seungcheolâs distaste for you becoming closer with his friend seemed uncalled for, especially because youâre under the impression that he has no romantic feelings for you.Â
âBeats me.â You mutter.Â
âIâm sorry Y/n, I shouldâve never asked you out.â He says apologetically, the remorse filling his chest. He feels bad knowing he started this fight between the two of you, but he's also mad that Seungcheol just wonât admit his feelings for you. He just doesnât understand what was stopping him, especially since itâs so clear that you like him back.Â
âIt's not your fault.âÂ
âI know but you guys wouldâve never have fought if it werenât for meâ He sighs, looking down at the his hands, picking at them.Â
âNo, Iâm sorry that I even roped you into all of this. I shouldâve just been a normal person and tell you everything right away. Instead Iâve been dragging you along because I feel lonely.â You sigh, the guilt of including Wonwoo in all this drama starts to eat away at you.Â
âI want to be around Y/n, especially because youâve been so down lately. I know youâre in love with Seungcheol, but I still want to be your friend. I hope that's ok?â He comforted you, putting a hand on top of yours.Â
âI want to be your friend too. Iâm really sorry about everything, and Iâm grateful that youâve been helping me. You donât know how much this all means to me Wons.â You give him a small smile, the tears starting to running down your face as you glance up at him.Â
You are so grateful that you and Wonwoo became so close in such a short amount of time. He is so kind to you, despite everything thatâs happened. In another universe maybe you did fall for Wonwoo, and maybe you two were together and happy. But heâs not the one youâre in love with in this universe, and youâre thankful he understands that itâs strictly platonic between the two of you.
He pulls you in towards his chest, his arm wrapping around you. Staring at him, you canât help but glance at his lips. Youâre not sure what possessed you in that moment, but you feel yourself start to lean in with no rhyme or reason. Wonwoo does the same, heâs confused but he doesnât stop himself or push you away. Maybe if you just triedâŠ
Youâre so close that you can feel his breath fan of your face, and itâs like the realization hit you like a truck. Quickly, you pull yourself from his arms. You werenât sure what happened but maybe his warmth and reasurring words were starting to get to you, but youâre glad you stopped before you could even make the mistake for kissing him. He isnât the one you want, and he canât do anything to change that.Â
Wownoo can tell, he can tell that you donât like him romantically, but the way you were closing in on him had him fooled just for one second.Â
âI know, youâre in love with him. Itâs ok Y/n, I understand.â He sighs, looking at you with longing eyes.Â
âYes I am.â You breathe out, before pulling away from him completely.Â
XVI.Â
âY/nie open up! It's us.â A voice calls out from the outside of the door.Â
Jeonghan, Minghao, and Soonyound standing outside of your apartment, hoping youâre still alive. After your fight with Cheol, youâve been pretty much MIA from them. Not answering any of their calls or texts, so this is their last resort. Jeonghan knows why you havenât been contacting any of them, but he decided itâs time that the two of you finally have a talk.Â
His timing is a blessing and a curse, as he was the one to witness what happend the day you three went to study in the library. Thatâs when he knew that shit was starting to hit the fan. Heâs concluded that hes had enough of the two of you being so closed off about your feelings towards eachother, and it was his time to help once more.Â
You contemplated opening the door, but decided that you needed the comfort right now.Â
âY/nie! Are you ok?â Soonyoung comes running, tackling you into a bear hug. In this case, perhaps a tiger hug. âHannie told us everything.âÂ
He grabs your face, taking a closer look and inspecting your face, then making a conclusion before pulling you back into a hug. It warms your heart to see him so concerned about you, even after youâve been ignoring them and only spending time with Wonwoo.Â
You know you shouldâve contacted them, but they can tell whatâs wrong with just one look and you know you wouldâve cried if you had to explain everything. As much as you love the three of them, it wouldâve hurt your heart to recall what happened between you and Seungcheol. So you stayed quiet, opting for the solitude and comfort that Wonwoo offered.Â
âYes Iâm ok. Dont worry your cute little head.â You say, patting his head as you savour his comforting hugs.Â
âWe were really worried about you kiddo. Iâm glad to see youâre alive.â Minghao remarks as he squeezes your shoulder reassuringly.Â
âThanks Hao.âÂ
âOk enough with the reunion. Y/n we need to talk to you.â Jeonghan interrupts the tender moment, a small box sitting in his hands.Â
You arelady knew where this is going, but at this point you knew there was no way of getting out of this conversation. There is three of them and one of you.Â
Jeonghan sits you on the couch, his stern face coming into your view. It reminded you of the times your mother would scold you when you were younger. His hands crossed over his chest, foot tapping impatiently.Â
âY/nie we love you but you really need to just come forth with your feelings about Seungcheol. The fact that youâve kept it from him this long shows that itâs doing more harm to your friendship than good. I know youâre scared and I know you donât want to get rejected, but you need to understand that if you donât learn to tell him how you feel itâll blow up in your face.â He sighs, coming down to sit next to you, his hand on your shoulder.Â
âI know you donât want to fuck up your friendship with him, but how else can you move on from this if you canât even tell him how you truly feel?â Mingaho adds, giving you a soft frown.Â
As you take in their words, you canât help but feel the tears welling up again. Not just because your scared about the direction you and Cheolâs friendship is going to take, but also the fact that youâre thankful for friends who arenât afraid to tell you the truth.Â
âWe love you ok? And what ever happens weâll be there to help you. Every step of the way.â Soonyoung assures you, pulling you into a another hug. You laugh a little and hug him back tighter.Â
âThank you guys. I definitely needed that reality check.â you laugh as you wipe your tears.Â
They laugh with you, embracing you and supporting you.Â
âAnyways, theres something I want to show you.â Jeonghan says as he pulls back from the group embrace.Â
He takes the small box from beside him, presenting it to you. As you open it you grow even more confused. It was filled with letters addressed to you. From Seungcheol.Â
âWhat is this?â You look at Jeonghan, searching for an answer. He only shrugs.Â
âI dont know. Seungcheol gave them to me. He told me he wanted you to read themâ Jeonghan reveals, peering at the stack of letters in the box. âHeâs sorry you know? He said the letters will explain the things he canât say in person.âÂ
âHes sorry? I-â you didnât even know what to say, you were just scared of what all these letters could possibly hold. And why were there so many?Â
âAnyways weâll leave you to it. Text us when you and Cheol finally grow some balls and confess to each other!â Jeonghan and the two sidekicks bid you goodbye. Leaving you to scour through the letters on you own.Â
There was one letter in particular that has a recent date written in the corner.Â
Dear y/n,Â
I know you donât want to hear from me at the moment, and I know Iâve said some things I didnât mean the last time we spoke. Im sorry. Im sorry I didnât communicate properly with you, and that I left us in a vague and confusing position. I dont know what came over me. I was so used to the whole world just revolving around us two, and then when Wonwoo began to show interest, I just completely switched off.Â
You deserve someone as kind as him. A person who will be there for you when you need someone to lean on, a person whoâs willing to hold you till you can sleep peacefully. I was always that person for you for a long time, and if i'm not the one you want anymore iâll come to terms with that. I just want to see you happy Y/n. In the same sense that I know you want me to be happy as well.Â
There's not a day that goes by where I think about how thankful that I have someone like you in my life. You are my rock and sometimes you didnât even know. The more you read these letters, the more youâll start to realize how much you helped me. I know I would be able to survive without you, that I could do it even if it hurts me. But I donât want to. I donât want to live in a world where Iâm living to survive, when I can be living to make you happy instead. My best friend, the one who understands me inside and out. Please come back to me angel.Â
I love you and always yours,Â
Seungcheol.Â
As you read through the letter you couldnât help but burst into tears. The relief you felt knowing that he felt the same way, that he wanted you in his life just like how you wanted him. This was enough for you to know that he needs you like you need him.Â
You begin to sift through the countless of letters he wrote you, all of them as heart wrenching as the previous. It put into perspective all that he went through when he moved here all alone. And with each letter that you read, the harder it got to ignore to urge to just go and see him. So thats what you do.Â
Dropping the letters on the coffee table, you slip on a pair a shoes and head to Seungcheolâs place as fast as your legs could carry you. The snow starting to stick to your hair as it fell from the sky, the chilly weather making you shiver. But you couldnât stop yourself, you didnât even care. You didn't have a coat on nor a warm pair of shoes, the only thing preserving your heat is the thought of finally confessing your love to Seungcheol.Â
After ten minutes of speed walking, you find yourself in front of his door. You knock, nervously, your heart beating a hundred miles per hour. You arenât really sure what to expect, but you knew that you just needed to see him. Even if you were shivering, even if your hair and clothes are damp from the snow.Â
The door opens to reveal the man who you consider home.Â
âY/n? Holy shit you must be freezing come inside.â He ushers you in and you oblige happily. âWhy did you come in your PJâs? Are you crazy? You're gonna get sick.â He worries, grabbing your face, scolding you.Â
âI needed to see you.â You pant, tired from how fast you walked.Â
âLets get you some warm clothes first.â He states, grabbing your hand to lead him to his room. Marching over to his drawer he grabs you a pair of sweats and one of his large tshirts. Youâre completely engulfed in fabric but at least youâre warm.Â
âSeungcheol Iâm in love with you.â You tell him right before he goes to grab you a hot cup of tea. Better late than never, you thought.
He turns around, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Your neck turns red as the blush starts to creep its way up your cheeks. Seungcheol doesnât say much more, his actions doing all the talking for him.Â
Taking your face in his hands, he swallows you into a kiss. Pressing his lips against yours with the same amount of passion and vigour as the first night you kissed him. You whimper at the sudden affection, fisting his hair in your hands to ground you.Â
He pulls way. âIâm so in love with you too Y/n.âÂ
He goes back to kissing you, his arms wrapping around your waist, holding on so tight that youâre convinced he thinks youâll disappear into thin air if he didnât hold you close.Â
âI love you, I love you my angel.â He keeps repeating those three words. Three words that finally replaced the dreaded âyouâre my bestfriendâ statement.Â
âYouâre my best friend and I love you.â You whisper to him against his lips.
Epilogue.Â
âJust keep watching the movie love.â Seungcheol warns you, his tongue playing skillfully with your clit as you try to do what he says. Your legs are spread for him, your hips grinding against his face, itâs pure bliss. The pleasure Seungcheol gives you seems to work better than any drug thatâs been created.Â
You donât know what happened, one moment you two were sitting on his couch, watching Howlâs Moving Castle for the millionth time. The next moment youâre watching your boyfriend kneel in front of you, eating you out while you try to concentrate on the movie playing on the tv.
âSeungcheol pleaseâŠâ You moan, his hair intertwined with your fingers as he continued to lick at your folds. You can hear how wet you are and it makes your head spin, the pleasure, the feeling of Cheols tongue grazing against you, itâs all too much.Â
âYou like this donât you baby? You like it when your boyfriend eats you out on his couch?â He taunts you as he pumps two fingers into you now, wanting to see you the way your eyebrows scrunch from all the pleasure. Â
You love the way he calls himself your boyfriend, the label rolling off his tongue perfectly. It was like he was meant to be called that all along. Itâs only been a week since you two started dating officially but youâll never get tired of hearing him tell you that heâs your boyfriend.Â
âYes! P-please I need you now, please baby.â You whine and beg as he teases you, his fingers still playing with your entrance. All you can do is watch him, your eyes lidded with so much desire that Seungcheol can probably come just from looking at you.Â
He relinquishes his hold on you, getting up to sit on the couch before manhandling you into the position he wants you in. Placing you on his lap, he takes off his sweats, revealing his hard member. You drool at the sight of it, ready to take him for all heâs worth.Â
âLook at how hard you got me love.â He whispers to you, placing a kiss on your lips after. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it makes you moan against his mouth.Â
Without breaking away from him, you lift yourself up to align his length against the entrance of your needy cunt. Slowly but surely you lower yourself, causing you to gasp against Seungcheolâs lips, feeling him stretch you.
âHow are you still so fucking tight.â He mutters to you, his hands breaching the hem of the large shirt that youâre wearing. He fondles your breasts, pinching your nipples as you bounce yourself on his lap. Groaning at your actions, he lifts the shirt completely off your body, taking the opportunity to take one of your mounds and enclosing his lips around it.Â
âHmm so close baby.â You tell him, feeling your climax coming on. He groans as he continues to suck on your nipples, his hands snaking around to your ass to grope at the flesh. He grips you tight, forcing you up and down faster, releasing his mouth from your chest.Â
Seungcheolâs head leans against the couch to admire how sexy you look riding his cock. He doesnât let go of your ass, slapping it and groping it till youâve fully orgasmed.Â
âFuck youâre so sexy.â He mutters, driving you into overstimulation as he fucks up into you, his own release closely following yours. You clench at his words, your pussy gripping him like a vice, and it finally sends him into his own orgasm, his come filling you completely.Â
âI love you.â He says, giving you one last kiss before finding a wash cloth to clean you with.Â
âI love you too.â
â đ end. Â
© wonustars
a/n: you've reached the end! i hoped you enjoyed the story, because i know i loved writing it :")). if you have any thoughts, questions, or just want to chat, dont be afraid to visit my ask box <;3 - anna
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#seungcheol#scoups#seventeen fic#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#seungcheol smut#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol fic#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fanfic#scoups smut#scoups x reader#scoups fic#scoups fanfic#seventeen angst#wonustars ⧠ïŸ. {works}#wonustars â§.* {fics: seungcheolâs letters}
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CHAPTER 1 | ALL OUT OF LUCK
w.c. 3.3k
tags. fem!reader, pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (26), some cussing, this chapter is pretty mild so not many tags are necessary ig?
a/n. thank you to everyone who's shown excitement for this series so far! i see you all, and i appreciate each and every one of you âž(ïœĄË á” Ë )âžâĄ and i'd love to hear from you as we go through this process together!
links. masterlist, ao3 (coming soon)
If you didnât know any better, youâd think someone with a time-slowing quirk is manipulating this shoebox of a room they unceremoniously stuffed you in with nothing but this middle-aged, bearded man roughly 30 minutes ago.
If 30 minutes is even an accurate approximation.
The said man is clicking away at his keyboard behind the desk in front of you, humming a non-descript tune, and, having already studied the room that seems to be an abandoned office, you take the opportunity to clock him. Aside from being around his mid-40s and sporting a full-grown beard, thereâs something about him that rings the metaphorical alarms in your mind, signaling some sense of familiarity.
And itâs either you need to work on your subtlety or heâs just plain out observant, because he must have noticed your staring, shifting his gaze from his laptop screen toward you, mouth formed in a friendly smile. âGetting antsy?â
âIââ you start, before trailing off. You weigh your options for a second, before settling with: âItâs hard not to be, sir. Would you care to tell me what Iâm here for?â
At that, the man merely purses his lips in a thin line. âUnfortunately, itâs not my place to say. I was just assigned to meet you here. At least,â he checks his silver-plated watch, âuntil further company arrives.â
You feel yourself frown. âAnd the men who arrived out of nowhere and fetched me from my apartment?â
He nods, âThey were simply assigned to get you, yes.â
A burning question bubbles right up your throat, but you tamp it down, thinking better against it. Itâs too soon, you think. You have to dig a bit deeper. And so instead, you finally prod at that inkling from a moment ago thatâs been vying for your attention.
âHave we met before, sir?â
That mustâve been the right thing to ask, because the man visibly lights up. He swivels on his office chair, turning a bit so that heâs now fully facing you. âWhy, yes! I thought you wouldnât remember.â
You toss him the most genuine smile you can muster back in courtesy, but also to goad him into continuing. You hope thatâs enough for now. âFrom a while back, right?â
âYes!â he enthusiastically responds, whatever document he was working on now completely forgotten. âI was one of your earliest escorts until the commission relocated me overseas. I just got reassigned to you for this project, you see.â
Hook, line, and sinker.
However, you donât get to revel in how you successfully coaxed information and confirmation out of him without lifting much of a finger, because he quickly realizes his mistake. He splutters as you watch the blood drain from his face, and you canât help but feel bad for the man.
âDonât worry,â you offer with that placating tone youâve mastered over the years. âI wonât tell them you just said all that.â
He eyes you suspiciously, as if heâs debating whether or not youâre saying the truth, and youâve half a mind to use it on him just so that the sole person youâre stuck in this jail-like space isnât looking at you like youâre after his head, but you donât get past considering that because the only set of doors bursts open and in comes an all-too-familiar face.
The both of you whip away from your stare down to look at the unannounced guest, and you instantly stiffen when you get a good look at the person leading the group.
Clad in a two-piece slate gray suit, the head of the Special Quirks department of Japanâs Hero Commission waltzes in, seemingly decades older than the last time you saw him. It hasnât even been five years since, you think, yet heâs aged so much. Trailing right behind him is the woman you vaguely remember trailblazing the Missions committee, hair pinned up in a no-nonsense low bun and sporting a navy blazer and skirt combo.
And, perhaps in an effort to ground yourself in the face of impending danger that always came with the two, youâre about to look down at what youâre wearing in comparison, which, you recall is a baggy T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants you never intended for people to see you wear, when it happens.
You lock eyes with the third and last person entering the room, and instantly itâs like youâre doused with a sobering bucket of ice-cold water at the same time someone lights a fire under your ass. One glimpse at his firey gaze has your brain screaming at you to look awayâanywhere, anywhere but at himâ and pretend that didnât just happen all the while mentally willing him away from existence, but you find yourself frozen in your seat.
Bakugou, whoâs dressed casually in a plain black shirt and loose jeans, stares right back as he follows the two officials. Youâre the first one to break eye contact, and words arenât uttered as the guy from earlier scurries out of his seat, offering it to Asahi, the man in the gray suit, who accepts it thanklessly. Moriyama takes the seat the underling drags next to Asahi, and Bakugou plops himself down on the one around a foot to your left, the both of you now facing them.
âThank you, Tanaka-san,â Asahi says, finally breaking the silence. The familiar escort who you now remember as Tanaka only bows at him, before standing silently to the side.
At that, Asahi shifts to regard you, the corners of his lips twisting upwards in what you think is an effort to smile, but it doesnât reach his eyes. With both arms on top of the hardwood desk and hands clasped together, he clears his throat.
He says your name as a start, which sends an eerie tingle down your spine. âLong time no see, huh?â
You donât know how to reply to that, also acutely aware of the man beside you, so you merely nod.
âWe apologize for dragging you here on your day off,â he continues, âIt mustâve been quite jarringâhaving our men be at your doorstep.â
You fight back the urge to ask him how the hell he knows itâs your day off today, deciding in the last second you donât want to know the answer. Frankly, you wouldnât be shocked if he said theyâd been keeping tabs on you and that they even know what brand of underwear you wear.
âI was surprised, Iâm not gonna lie,â you respond, voice small. And just because youâre over this whole suspense factor, you cut to the chase. âWhatâs this all about, Asahi-san?â
âSkipping the pleasantries, arenât we?â he chuckles, and you resist the itch to scowl at him. You never liked the guyâalthough you think it must have to do with all those extreme assessments he made you take growing up. To your relief, though, he relents. âIâll get straight to it, then. We have an important mission for you.â
And as if you werenât already stiff enough, you feel yourself tense even more, and the action doesnât go missed by Bakugou, whose eyes you feel boring into the side of your face.
Asahi takes your stunned silence as a cue for him to go on. His gaze drifts to the pro-hero beside you, a knowing smirk decorating his features. âI trust that youâve met?â
Despite yourself, you chance a glance at the ash-blonde, only to find him already looking at you. You feel yourself flame as he studies you with mild recognition, as if heâs seen you before but canât quite figure out where.
Bakugou finally speaks up after a beat, voice gruff and eyes remaining locked on yours. âUA Gen Ed, same batch as me, right?â
âY-yeah,â you reply dumbly, surprised he even remembers. âAnd youâre pro-hero Dynamight.â
To that, he gives you a curt nod, donning a serious expression as he turns back to face Asahi. âGo on and brief her about it already. I ainât got all day.â
âWeâre getting to that, Bakugou,â the old-ish man retorts, seemingly unfazed by the pro-heroâs impatience, before readjusting his focus to you. âAs Iâve said, weâre assigning you to a very crucial mission. We got word yesterday that an up-and-rising quirk supremacist group is planning an attack somewhere in the city.â
âA-attack?â you croak, âWhoâre they gonna attack?â
âThat weâre not sure yet,â Moriyama joins in on the conversation, her countenance stern. âBut weâre guessing quirkless individuals or people with weak quirks. We wonât know for sure, though, unless we get people on the inside.â
âAnd thatâs where you two come in,â Asahi finishes, eyes darting back and forth between you and the man beside you. âYouâre going undercover.â
You gawk at him, suddenly robbed of all words. From the corner of your vision, you sense Bakugou side-eye you, and thatâs all the warning you get for what heâs about to say next.
âAre you sure about this?â he asks, prominently exasperated by the entire situation. ââs like youâre feeding a sheep to the fucking wolves.â
Instantly, you feel a sense of indignation wash over you at the comment, which is immediately followed by the familiar feeling of resignation.
Youâve gone through these motions before. Over and over again, in fact.
And normally, youâd let snide comments about the status of quirk slide, like youâve been taught to the entirety of your life, but apparently this time thatâs not an option.
Because Moriyama gives him a pointed look, as if chastising him on your behalf. You donât dare to check how Bakugouâs receiving it, but youâre assuming not well.
But before the pro-hero can say something in his defense or provoke the woman, Asahi interjects with a good-natured laugh. âSlow down there, hero. Donât get too cocky now that you just got named Vogue Japanâs Bachelor of the Year.â
Bakugou doesnât miss a beat. âShut the fuck up.â
With a dismissive wave of a hand, Asahi continues. âAnd no, I am not making a reckless move here,â the middle-aged man peers at you, âThis woman right here has a special quirk.â
At that, you steal a glance at Bakugou, and the look on his face betrays the thing heâs evidently trying hard not to say.
âWhatâs so special about this girl from Gen Ed?â
He manages not to blurt that out, though, instead going for: âHow special?â
âLetâs just say itâs because of her that departments like mine exist in the commission.â
âQuit being fucking cryptic,â Bakugou spits out, just as you say: âItâs really not that special, though.â
That catches his attention, and you feel yourself shrink when his intense, crimson eyes land on you. You, however, fight to maintain his scrutinizing gaze when he pipes up. âWhat can you do, huh?â
âIââ
âHow âbout you show him, dear?â Moriyama cuts you off with a knowing smile.
You donât get to argue because the woman promptly sends Tanaka off to the door, and the four of you watch the guy as he rushes out, leaving you in a few moments of silence, before hurriedly walking back in with a nervous-looking young man in tow.
You decide then and there that you really donât want to do this.
âAn intern, Moriyama-san,â Tanaka announces in front of you with a booming voice, gesturing to the person beside him. âJust as you requested.â
âThe hell do we neeââ
âGo on, Y/N,â Asahi encourages with a quiet voice, which you note is in an attempt to not be heard by the poor intern.
The poor intern whoâs gaping at #2 pro-hero Dynamight, looking like his soul just left his lean body.
Your gaze shifts between the pro-hero and the young man, and you sit watching the silent exchange unfold before you. You can tell Bakugou is getting annoyed by the unabashed attention of someone whoâs likely a fan, and the latter isnât looking all too hot.
And so with reluctance, you do it.
âHey,â you call out to the intern, who whips to look at you after another attempt when he doesnât respond to the first.
âWhaââ he starts, but trails off when you decisively tug on the imaginary strings, and in a split second, itâs like the nerves that were just frying his system a beat ago get washed off his body, his face morphing to that of tranquil calmness in a blink of an eye.
You toss him a tight-lipped smile as he stares right back at you, serene and perhaps a tad bit confused, although you doubt someone not privy to your ability could recognize it on his face.
âAmazing, isnât it?â
You turn to look at Asahi, whoâs now leaning back on the office chair with a proud grin on his face, as if heâs the one who just did the demonstration.
You try to suppress the mild annoyance at the sight of him.
You reason to yourself that heâs the one who made all this possible, after all. He deserves to be proud of the stunt you just pulled, at least to some extent.
And just as quickly as he entered, the intern is promptly ushered out of the area by Tanaka. Once the door clicks closed, you then shift to examine Bakugou, who you quickly find is already staring at you, an inexplicable expression etched across his sharp features.
âYou make people calm, is that it?â
âOh, she can do much more than that, boy,â Asahi boasts. âShe has the ability to tamper with any personâs emotions. She can diffuse or exacerbate existing ones or transform them into another affect entirely.â
âBut very few people know that, Bakugou,â Moriyama adds with a warning edge to her tone. âItâs why the commission took her under its wing at such a young age. Itâs whyââ
âYou disguised her quirk as something else and made her take the Gen Ed route.â Bakugou finishes with such certainty that catches you off guard, despite being well-versed in the fact that he is insanely perceptive.
You would know. Really, you would.
Because thatâs one of the main reasons why you likedâ
âItâs so that the wrong people donât catch wind of her and her quirk, Bakugou,â Asahi supplements. âItâs for that very reason weâve named her quirk as luck instead of manipulation. Which is what youâre going to do undercover.â
âWhatâs he gonna do, exactly?â you ask, tilting your head to gesture to the pro-hero beside you.
âHeâll infiltrate the group alongside you, dear,â Moriyama answers. âHeâs one of the best heroes we have, and wellâŠâ
She glances at Bakugou with such hesitance that juxtaposes the confidence sheâs been sporting this entire exchange, before continuing. ââŠWeâve heard this group has been eyeing to recruit Bakugou, specifically.â
You almost choke on your spit.
Recruit the #2 pro-hero of Japan?
What kind of stupid agenda is that?
To your surprise, Bakugou doesnât say anything in response to Moriyamaâs weighty statement, his usually penetrating gaze fixed on the ground.
âHeâll make sure youâll be safe, Y/N,â Asahi furthers. âHeâll introduce you to them as a useful tool, what with your âluckâ, which youâll tell them works by boosting the chances of success of the people youâre working with. And, given how your quirk actually operates, Bakugou here will emphasize your importance by requesting for their protection of you, so that you can get closer to the people youâll need to manipulate.â
âHowâs he gonna do that without raising suspicion?â you canât help but ask.
âThatâs the thing,â Asahi quips, before heaving a deep sigh. âAt this point, thereâs no saying for sure, but youâre gonna have to be ready to play the part of a couple if the situation calls for it.â
âA c-couple?â you barely manage to get out.
To that, Asahi and Moriyama only nod at you with such seriousness that you canât find it in you to protest any further. Still, you try to express your uneasiness.
âI donât knowâif I can pull that off. Iââ
âYou have your quirk at your disposal, Y/N,â Moriyama assures you, to your chagrin. âYouâve trained hard enough to know when and how to use it.â
Well.
Thereâs not much left for you to do than nod in resignation, especially with the finality of her tone, so you do just that.
None of you says anything for a brief moment after that, a rather tense silence enveloping the tiny office. And youâre about to ask them one more time if theyâre fucking sure about all this, but Asahi beats you to it.
âDo either of you have any more questions?â
You open your mouth to try again but this time Bakugou speaks first. âI do. Letâs say shit goes down and we have to engage this shitty ass group in combat. Does she know how to fight? You know, beyond just playing with emotions?â
You feel yourself bristle, and before your brain can catch up and rein you in, your mouth is already running off. âIâve had extensive close-combat training, actually. So worry about saving your own ass, hero.â
Bakugou doesnât get the chance to spew something right back at you, though, because Asahi cuts the tension with a booming laugh. âShe actually has, Bakugou. Like I said, weâve been training her since her quirk manifested.â
âReally?â he asks, a little bit too sarcastically for your taste. âAnd whatâs in it for you, huh, Y/N?â the pro-hero turns to regard you, tone riddled with just enough taunt to make your blood simmer. âWhyâre you going along with their whim?â
âThey pay well,â you state as simply as you can. âMy job as a guidance counselor isnât exactly the most lucrative.â
âThat we do,â Asahi chimes in before Bakugou can drop any borderline degrading remark, which youâre thankful for. You donât know if you can handle any more backhanded comments from the man you used to fucking dream about way back in high school, whoâapparentlyâalso happens to be the man youâre gonna have to pretend youâre dating if things go south.
âIf you donât have any more questions,â Moriyama interjects, âThereâs one last thing. We donât expect them to go lax on either of you despite what you can bring to the table. So anticipate restrictions on your speech and movementsâthereâs a high probability that theyâre gonna place bugs and trackers on you. The same goes for your online footprint.â
At that, you and Bakugou wordlessly nod in unison, the gravity of what youâre about to get yourself into finally sinking in. Shortly after, Moriyama goes through a few more technical details before announcing that they have another meeting to attend, and just like that, and with a promise to get in touch soon albeit clandestinely, she and Asahi exit from the very door they entered what seemed like an eternity ago.
Leaving you and Bakugou.
Alone.
Which is something youâre going to have to get used to for what lies ahead.
But that shit can wait until tomorrow, when the mission officially starts.
And so with much vigor, you quickly gather the purse you barely managed to bring with you when you got dragged out of your apartment earlier this evening, and stand. Bakugouâs head tilts up to look at you when you turn to regard him, an eyebrow raised in question.
âWhat?â
You force a smile. âIâm looking forward to working with you, Bakugou-san.â Not. âSee you tomorrow, then.â
And, before he can say anything in return, you spin on your heel and leave without looking back.
Ëâșâ§â as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, tooâi'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!
tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon @napbatata @k0z3me @h0ngh0ngh0ng @honeyoru | @junehasnotbeenfound @sugalarity @haechansbbg @sikuthealien @reiniella3 @ita606 @xoxoblueyy @mutsu422 @eyesforbkg @kalulakunundrum @venus-xxoo @lemuhr @pinkpantheris @ashers-playpen @bakugouswh0r3
#so much to unpack y'all#bkg's going through it!!!#bakugou x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagines#mha imagines#bnha imagines#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou fluff#bakugo x reader#bakugo x y/n
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Dragon Age: Veilguard | The Ultimate Preview Summary
shinobi602 on twitter shared this amazing in-depth summary of all new information about the game that we have so far:
Coming to PS5, Xbox Series X and PC in Fall 2024
Consoles: Quality and Performance modes (60FPS)
Photo mode is confirmed
Fully offline single player, no EA account linking, no micro-transactions'
Play as a human, elf, dwarf, or Qunari
Choose your backstory, 6 factions to choose from when you create your character, all with "deep roots in Thedas": Antivan Crows, Grey Wardens, Shadow Dragons, Veil Jumpers, Lords of Fortune, The Mourne Watch
Each faction offers 3 distinct buffs each, like being able to hold an extra potion or do extra damage against certain enemies, and the odd reference in dialogue
You can customize your Inquisitor from Dragon Age: Inquisition in the character creator and "make a few key decisions that will impact how The Veilguard begins"
There are some "killer cameos" from past games that show up
Warrior Class: Use a sword and shield or two handed weapon to send enemies flying
Rogue Class: Utilizes quick movement and reflexes. You can wield a bow or dual swords with "powerful, precise strikes for lethal damage"
Mage Class: Use magic to incinerate, freeze, electrocute and crush. Some cast from afar, while others prefer close quarters combat
Each class also has 3 sub-specializations, such as duelist, saboteur, or veil ranger for the Rogue
Classes also have unique 'resource system's, for example, the Rogue has "momentum", which builds up as you land consecutive hits, and each will always have a ranged option
One Rogue momentum attack is a "hip fire" option we saw for the Rogue's bow, letting you pop off arrows from the waist
Another momentum attack for the Warrior lets you lob your shield at enemies
Quests are more handcrafted and mission based, curated with alternate paths, secrets to discover and optional content
There are also open ended explorable areas
Party size of 3 during combat, ala Mass Effect
Combat is focused on real-time action, dodge, parry, counter, "sophisticated animation canceling and branching", using risk-reward charge attacks designed to break enemy armor layers
Enemies have elemental weaknesses and resistances, and you can chain together elemental combos for extra damage
One example is a squadmate using a gravity well attack to suck enemies in, another slowing them down, and the player then unleashing a big AOE attack
You don't take direct control of companions like past Dragon Age games, but you can still pause and issues ability commands for you and your allies
There is a hub area for the player like Skyhold and the Normandy, called The Lighthouse
Companions can eventually start romancing other characters if you opt not to romance them
Each companion also has unique missions tied to them that play into the larger story
Nudity confirmed - romance scenes can get "a little spicy"
"Incredibly deep" character creator: 5 categories including: Lineage, Appearance, Class, Faction, Playstyle
Players can also choose different body sizes and shapes
Dozens of hairstyles to choose from, with "individual strands of hair rendered separately and reacting quite remarkably to in-game physics", pulled from EA Sports
Character creator lets you adjust the lighting so you can be sure your character looks good
The team wanted to balance the look of the game with both light and darkness. "When everything is dark, nothing really feels dark. For this one, we really wanted to build that contrast again."
Skill tree is "vast", you can also set up specific companions with certain kits, from tackling specific enemy types to being more of a supporting healer or flexible all-rounders
There are tarot cards you go through during the character creation process that will let you choose decisions from past games to implement into Veilguard
The team teases you may lose some characters during the story
#i found this super helpful because there was so much that you kind of lose track and get overwhelmed#dragon age 4#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#da:tv#vg: dragon age 4#series: dragon age
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my love if i may request a whiskey with dbf!joel or dbf!bucky with the prompt âiâve wanted this for so longâ and mayhaps if itâs not too much to ask for but some breeding kinkđđđ»đđ»
Promises, Promises.
warnings - smut. cursing.
I figured I'd make this dbf!bucky, because i've done a dbf!joel fic for this celebration already. y'all, I read the words dad's best friend and go fucking feral. this one got away from me.
3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.
You're the last person Bucky expected to be at his front door at 3am.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"Locked myself out of my goddamn house, and my parents are still on vacation. Can I crash here tonight? Please?"
Who is he to turn down an offer that tempting?
"Course. Come on, it's too cold for you to be stood out here."
The two of you sit down on his couch, settling in to watch some TV.
"Bucky Barnes. Are you watching a romcom?"
He blushes, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.
"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. They're my guilty pleasure."
"It makes me like you more, if anything," you grin. He can't help but smile back at you, less embarrassed now.
"Look, my love life is fuckin' terrible. I live vicariously through these cheesy films right now."
"You? Terrible love life? Those two phrases don't usually go in the same sentence."
You're teasing him. Seeing if you can get a rise, hit the right button.
"Oh, shut it. Just because you're on a new date every week."
"I'm... what?"
"Your Dad seems to think you're dating a lot."
You quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips.
"Is that so?"
"I'm only telling you what I've heard, honey."
He crosses his arms across his chest, biceps threatening to break free from the confines of his t shirt.
"He's wrong."
"Is that so?"
You roll your eyes.
"I have a friend, he's a guy. My Dad automatically assumes we're dating because we hang out. But we're not."
"And why not?"
"I don't know, I guess he's just..." you debate your answer, realising it's now or never. "He's not old enough for me. Not mature enough."
Bucky bites his lip, eyes scanning your face.
"He's your age."
"Exactly. Boys my age don't know shit."
He laughs, but it's dark and low, something brewing beneath the surface.
"You always were too smart for your own good, huh?"
Bucky's thigh is pressing into yours, the warmth from his skin seeping through. His rough fingertips glide across your arm, slow and soft. He's testing the waters.
"I shouldn't want this," he murmurs, barely audible. "Neither should you."
"But I do," you whisper. "So fucking bad."
"Me too."
Bucky grabs the back of your neck, smashing his lips to yours. You grip at his hair, his biceps, his shirt - anything you can get a hold of. You feel like you're dreaming, your filthiest thoughts coming into fruition.
He pulls you into his lap so you're straddling his hips, grinding down and panting into his mouth. You're both breathless, but neither of you want to be the first to pull away.
Bucky rips your shirt over your head, instantly attacking your chest with kisses. He's marking you up, claiming you as his. You should be worried about the repercussions, but you're not.
You pull his shirt off and rake your nails down his front, grinning when he shivers. Suddenly, Bucky stands up, setting you on your feet.
"Strip."
You blink at him, processing.
"Strip, baby. I won't tell you again."
You shimmy your pants down your legs, your underwear going too. Your mouth waters as you watch him undress, admiring the angles and smooth ridges of him. A Greek God.
Bucky stalks over to you and hooks a foot behind your ankle, sending you both flying onto the rug on the floor. He cushions your fall, not letting go of you once. Running two fingers through your wet heat, he groans.
"All for me, pretty girl? What did I do to deserve somethin' this sweet, huh?"
"Need you," you whine. "Please, Buck."
"I've wanted this for so long," he murmurs, lining himself up. "Fuck, you're a dream."
You both gasp as he slides home, your back arching and his jaw falling slack. Bucky rests a hand against the base of your throat, the weight grounding you back down to Earth.
"Need you to move," you choke out. "Fuck, I need it, Buck. Please."
"Oh you need it, do you?" he smirks. "My needy girl."
He snaps his hips into yours in long, careful glides, very aware of the effect he has on you. Before long, his restraint snaps, and his thrusts get harder, quicker, more frantic.
"Gonna fill you up, baby," he's muttering under his breath. "Make you mine. You want that? To have everyone know who you belong to?"
You're nodding rapidly, tears gathering in your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth.
"How are we gonna keep this a secret if you're pregnant, huh?"
The thought makes you moan, a breathy, gutteral sound.
"You like that? Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck, I'll give you everything you ask for. I'll buy you a house and knock you up, you'll never want for anything."
His low, honeyed words throw you over the edge, squeezing and clenching around him. Bucky groans, deep and rumbled, the sound vibrating through the both of you. You find your releases together, panting and out of breath.
"House first."
"Huh?" he breathes, raising his head from your chest.
"Buy me a house first. Kids second. Maybe marriage in between."
He laughs, floating and content. You both know he meant what he said, not just a heat of the moment confession.
You stay wrapped up in each other for hours, on the rug in front of the fire.
You'll deal with the repercussions later.
#bucky smut#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#dbf!bucky barnes x reader#dbf bucky barnes#dbf!bucky barnes#dbf!bucky#dadsbestfriend!bucky x reader#dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes#dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader#dadsbestfriend!bucky#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#marvel smut#murphy's 3k celebration#bucky barnes#dad's best friend bucky barnes
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chaser | heartbreaker series | c.sc
Breakups are tough. For years, you had to push your feelings down to try and move on. But now, you were back again with Choi Seungcheol, rekindling the ardent flame of your love, and lost promises.
⧠pairing: choi seungcheol x female reader ⧠genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ⧠aus: bar owner seungcheol, ex seungcheol, secret relationship ⧠word count: 15.8k
âșđ§: up late â gemini | can we go back â dojaejung | come back to me â rm | blue â v | i love it â dean, dok2 | merry go â dpr ian | healing killing â tabber | shadow â ten | mon amour â gemini | different â woodz
â previous chapters â read more
âș smut warnings under the cut
⧠warnings: smut with plot, dubcon (slight somnophilia), daddy kink, dom seungcheol, sub reader, reader is on birth control, big dick seungcheol, multiple sex scenes (these two are unstoppable), literal love making, pussy eating, morning sex, unprotected p in v sex, creampies, overstimming, rough fucking, manhandling, dirty talk, edging, seungcheol is kind of a menace, creampies, aftercare, pillowtalk, exhibitionism: groping in the workspace, quickie in the workspace. pet names: love, baby, angel (hers) daddy, babe (his) ⧠author's note: this is very long overdue, i kept putting it off and on because i wasn't feeling it and honestly, the city lights series is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so... yeah hehe. i hope you like this!! (âÂŽâĄ`â) ⧠disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please đ
part iv
It was more than just a dream.
You remember everything quite well. It was one of those games in which you were certain that Seungcheol could get anything he wanted only by his determination.
Seungcheol was sweaty. His long black hair stuck to the back of his neck and his forehead. He grabbed the hem of the red jersey he wore, lifted it up, to clean the sweat on his upper lip, revealing his abdomen in the process.
You remember overhearing the chattering and muffled giggles from the girls sitting behind you on the bleachers. You didn't bother to look back, or to even try and listen to what they were saying. Because all eyes were on him.
Seungcheol was the team captain, top of his class. And he was hot as fuck. So that made him inadvertently popular around the campus.
It also didn't help that he was putting on a show. It was late at night but the misty summer breeze didn't help to alleviate the heat that had him covered in sweat, plus the exercise he got from running on the field.
He would let his head hang back a little as he crossed the field with a slow, exhausted walk, recovering with hard and deep breaths before jumping on a sprint. Sometimes, whenever he was just on standby, he would grab his shirt by the hem and lift it upwards, fanning some air to his sweaty tummy.
Slowly, you felt the dream slip away from you as wakefulness started to kick in. You tried to hold on to the faint slivers of your dream, to the memory of Seungcheol's gummy smile, running to you, victorious.
You were fully awake now, but you had to force yourself to remember. He lifted you in his arms, spinning you around, laughing at the squeal you made. It was his last game as a university student. And he had won, just as he always did.
"You won, baby," he told you.
"I didn't, you did," you smiled at him, encircling his neck with your arms.
"You gave me luck," he said, as he always did.
The sunlight poured through the tall windows and onto the large bed, until slowly as the morning rolled in, you felt its warm soaking on your skin, pouring slowly onto your exposed arm and chest, and then onto your face.
Upon blinking you realized that you had shed some tears in your sleep.
A heavy arm slid on your waist and circled your torso with a pleased sigh, pulling you so his front was pressed to your back. The warmth radiating from his body was unlike the sunlight creeping onto your bodies. It was snuggly and familiar.
Seungcheol hummed softly, half asleep but conscious enough to plant a kiss in your hair, nuzzling his face with another soft sigh. The arm wrapped around you moved again, his hand sliding to the centre of your tummy.
You were still trying to come to terms that you were back to reality, barely aware of what Seungcheol was up to when with a small grunt, he moved his body on top of yours, littering your chest with kisses, trailing down to your tummy.
In seconds, his hands were angling your thighs open for him, kissing your lower tummy, making you arch your back to get more of his open kisses, the slight brush of his wet lips against your inner thighs making you open your eyes.
You brought up a hand to gather your tears, feeling a bit puzzled as the other hand found his head nuzzled between your languid thighs, when his teeth grazed your skin softly, bringing out a groggy moan from you.
Your hands quickly grabbed the sides of his head. "Babe?" you rasped. "Cheol, what are you doing?"
His mouth was already sliding on your mound with sweet, wet kisses, trailing down to lick and softly bite your pussy lips, bringing you back to life in a second.
"Baby, oh god, yes," you mewled, body jolting on the bed, you pulled back the bedsheets, uncovering your body, Seungcheol between your thighs as he slowly began to push his mouth between your folds, kissing you openly.
You arched your back instinctively, letting out a raspy moan as his tongue laved generously at the arousal already pooling at your entrance.
Your mind fragmented between the dream and reality. Your ex-boyfriend's hair was long, but now it was dyed in a pale blond. As you propped yourself up on one elbow, you saw his upper back, stockier than you remembered it.
But there was no denying that no matter how long it had passed, Seungcheol still knew you like the back of his hand. He pushed a hand on your lower tummy, very close to your mound, leaving the top of it exposed, your swollen clit to the mercy of his tongue.
Seungcheol paused, casting a loving look at you before diving right back into your pussy, letting out a raspy hum like a man starved, his free hand creeping up to your chest, finding your breast to give a gentle squeeze with his fingers, a thumb brushing over your nipple.
"Cheol," you called softly, fingers grazing his scalp as you held onto his hair. "Just like that, daddy, please."
He groaned in response, moving his tongue in swift side to side movements on your clit, his hand pressing harder on your lower tummy, the feeling in your cunt intensifying.
"Oh god!" you gasped when his fingers pinched your nipple and tugged at it, caressing your boob with his fingers just to hear more of the noises you made.
He trapped your puffy clit between his lips, pulling at it, causing smacking noises as he continued to do it repeatedly, humming in your pussy, the sound vibrating in your sensitive bud.
"Cheol," you mewled, closing your eyes to the pleasure burning in your body. "God, daddy, I'm close," you whispered.
He wrapped his lips around your clit, immediately starting to suckle at it, the slurping sounding loudly in between your lewd whimpers and sharp gasps.
You used the hand clenching on his hair to press him down your cunt almost as a reflex before your head lolled back, pleasure consuming your body quickly, tingling in your face and making you cry out his name.
As your orgasm flooded inside your body, Seungcheol continued teasing your clit with his mouth, waiting for you to relax into your high. His big eyes darted a look up at you, but his mouth didn't relent.
"Mmn, Cheol," you called in a breathy tone, being that you were a languid mess. "So good."
His tongue pressed flatly on your core again, drinking in your arousal with a pleased and raspy moan.
Seungcheol didn't say anything, pressing kisses on your pussy lips before detaching his mouth from it, pulling his body back so he stood on his knees.
The bed covers and the sheets fell from his back. Your eyes roamed all over his body, wholly naked in between your thighs. His milky white skin bathed by the morning sunlight contrasting beautifully with the dark backdrop of his bedroom.
You would never get enough of such a sight. His body was perfect, his broad chest and beefy and strong arms that held you throughout the night, his meaty thighs, his long and thick cock, standing fully hard now. Seungcheol was perfect.
Seungcheol noticed your eyes on him, giving you a smile that could heal every wound, every ache you have ever felt. Your heart jolted in your chest, you loved him so much still that you could sob.
"You're okay there, baby?" he asked softly. There was a light frown on his face, probably noticing the tears brimming in your eyes.
You nodded, leaning your back into the mattress and you extended a hand to him. "I need you. Right now, Cheol."
Seungcheol trusted you. He knew that if you were not okay, you would speak out. But that didn't ease the frown. He moved his body on top of you, his big arms framing your head, his face leaning closer to yours.
"Are you sure? Am I doing something wrong?" he whispered with genuine worry lacing his tone.
You used the proximity to his face to press feathery kisses on his lips. "No, I'm sure," you whispered. "Don't stop, please, Cheol."
The corner of his lips quirked up slightly, but he didn't reply verbally. He moved one arm from the side to your head, sneaking it between your body and his to grab his cock, guiding it to your core.
"Look at me, angel," he breathed, nudging his cockhead in your entrance.
If you could lose yourself in those sweet, but dark eyes, you would. As he started pushing in, you felt the muscles of your face go lax, making your mouth part.
Seungcheol mimicked your expression, his full lips parting as he sheathed himself inside you slowly, a quiet, strangled groan coiling in his throat, making his Adam's apple bob.
His eyebrows knitted when his hips met your own, making him sigh deeply, his cock fully inside you now, his arm returned to frame your head and you realized that you had pushed your eyebrows inward too.
Your hands held onto his strong shoulders, then your fingernails dug deeply into the hard muscle on his back, making him moan as he dragged his thick cock back and pushed it right into your tight and warm walls.
"God," he breathed, his eyelids fluttering when he closed them briefly.
The experience of being with him after so long of being apart was nearly mind-shattering for a second. You never wanted something more than being with him like this, the nights spent dreaming with memories of him... and now you were there. It was real.
"Seungcheol?" you called, your voice tiny, but quivering slightly.
"Yes, baby?" he rasped, hips rolling slowly on top of yours, moving his cock inside you at a deliciously good pace.
You shivered slightly when his fingers grazed your scalp, twisting gently in the locks of your hair.
"Baby? What's wrong?" he asked softly, his brow furrowed again when your eyes finally let your tears go.
You moved one hand from his back, meeting his cheek. A tiny sob broke inside you when Seungcheol leaned his face against the palm of your hand. The movement was almost instinctive, as though his body remembered all of the times he did that in the past.
"I love you," you whispered.
For a moment, it seemed that the world had stopped, because your heart had. It had been years since you uttered those words to anyone, and the last person to hear those words coming from you was him.
His dark eyes glinted with some emotion, reading the features of your face swiftly. His frown had relaxed the moment he heard you utter those words to him.
"I love you," he whispered back, gulped hard and dropped his forehead on top of yours with a moany sigh. "I love you. I love you."
You sobbed, your other hand finding his other cheek so you were cupping his face fully now, lips meeting in tender and brief kisses as he kept moving his hips in deep and slow thrusts.
"Cheol," you sighed, instinctively pushing your knees back angling your hips for him to push his own against yours, his cock reaching deeper in this new position.
"I'm here, baby," he whispered, and then with a sharp intake of breath, added: "I never stopped loving you."
"Neither did I," you breathed.
Seungcheol let out a sound between a raspy moan and sighed as he crushed his mouth with yours, kissing you deeply, as if trying to convey all of the I love yous he didn't get to say when you left.
His chest pressed flush against yours as he rolled his hips on yours. "You are my everything," he muttered, though his voice broke halfway through the sentence.
You knew him well enough to know that he struggled with saying what his heart felt. So hearing that caused a powerful shudder in you. "You are too, Seungcheol," you whispered, swallowing your tears. "Always have been."
"I missed you so much," he continued, as if in a maddened frenzy, pushing his hips slowly and urgently, his pace pushing your body in the sheets slightly, if it were now for his arms framing your head.
"I missed you too," you breathed, running your fingers through his hair to then link them on his nape. "Everyday, all the time."
"God, baby," he whispered, squeezing his eyelids shut for a second. "Angel, I'm close."
You only nodded with your head, not caring anymore about coming for a second time, you just wanted to feel him, to hear his raspy moans and sighs, to be this close to him.
However, Seungcheol thought differently. "I want you to come again," he said, hooking one of your legs on his shoulder expertly, and then the other.
Your eyes brimmed with tears of pleasure as he pushed his cock inside you but deeper this time, eliciting a long and raw moan from you from the change. Your hands tightened the grip on his hard biceps as his hips plowed on you.
"God, " you mewled as your head sank back on the pillow, writhing under his body. "Please, please, Cheol, don't stop, please."
"That's it, angel," he praised, sighing a pleased smile that wrinkled the corners of his eyes. But then, you could see his own orgasm overtaking him, his dark eyes glazing over the overwhelming pleasure, his lower lip quivering slightly as he let out a guttural moan but his eyes never left your face, watching your face as you came around him. "That's it, baby. Come for me."
As if on command, you felt pleasure blooming inside you, waves of bliss washing and sizzling from under your skin. The feeling so strong that you had to squeeze your eyes for a second, seeing stars in the sudden darkness. "Fuck," you mouthed, being overcome by ecstasy. "Cheol, babe," you mewled.
"I'm here," he whispered. "Look at me, baby," he pleaded in a louder, raspy tone.
When you opened your eyes, you saw his lips parting, his eyes glistening, his nose wrinkled a little bit before he grunted with his mouth slightly opened. "God, baby," he groaned, pushing his hips against you sloppily, his cock clamped by your pulsating warmth, tipping him over too.
You moved your hand to cup his cheek, locking eyes with him as he came. There was a sense of satisfaction filling your chest when he too, looked overwhelmed by pleasure. He sucked in a breath, and a grunt left his mouth next, thrusting his cum inside you slowly and forcefully, until he stopped, breathless.
Your hand slided on his cheek, running the pad of your thumb on his lower lip as you kept your gaze on the features of his face, smiling at him when he did the same, moving one hand clumsily to caress your face.
"Hi, baby," he sighed heavily, his red lips stretching in a wide smile.
"Hi, Cheol," you giggled, his gaze softening when he heard your laugh.
"Are you okay, love?" he asked then, his eyes roaming over the features of your face, reading you expertly.
"Yeah, I'm okay, babe," you gave him a nod with your head.
"Are you sure?" he insisted, his hand on your cheek slipped beneath your head, leaning over to leave a kiss on your forehead.
"I was just feeling a little sentimental," you mumbled, pushing his long blond hair back, using the pads of your fingers to caress his face. "I dreamt of you, that's all," you explained, now toying with the earrings adorning his earlobe.
"Oh, yeah?" he whispered with a sweet, endearing looking grin. "What did you dream about that got you tearing up, baby?"
"Remember your last match in uni?" you ventured to ask, pausing for him to give you a short nod with his head. "That's it, I guess it was more like a memory than a dream."
"And that was the reason you were crying, baby?" his tone was sweet, his dark, glistening eyes still outlining your features. He grinned when you nodded at him again. "Really? Why?"
"I'mâI just miss you," you whispered nervously, choking up with the memory of him in his university days, when your relationship was blooming and you felt like nothing could tear you down, as long as you were with him.
"I'm here, baby," he leaned over, bumping the tip of his nose with yours before he pressed his smiling lips on yours, grazing them before he locked yours in a brief, warm kiss. "Not going anywhere."
You giggled. "Neither will I," you mumbled with a shaky voice, feeling like you were threading down a dangerous path with that sentence.
"I'm not letting you go either way," he replied, his tone had dropped to a raspy low one.
"Promise?"
"I promise," he replied with certainty. "I meant what I said, I'm ready for us," he said and you pretty much understood that he was calling back to the big discussion you had when you finalized your relationship with him.
"I'm ready too," you said, choking up again at the memory of that night.
"I know," he smirked.
After all, he knew you better than anyone in the world.
He propped his hands on the pillows to peel his body off yours, thus pulling out of your sopping wet walls, with a tired grunt. "Come here," he whispered when he climbed off the bed.
You obediently crawled to the edge of the bed, where he promptly lifted you up, bridal style. "You know I can walk there," you smiled at the proud look on his face.
"And you know that you don't have to, baby," he replied, the tips of his ears turning red. "Don't pretend you don't like it."
That made you giggle giddily. "You may have a point there, Cheol," you shrugged slightly.
Seungcheol set you down on the bathroom floor, turning his back on you to reach out to turn the shower on. You looked around the room, aimlessly.
"What?" he asked, his eyebrow cocking up slightly when he read your face.
"Can you... give me a minute, please?" you asked meekly.
"Seriously?" he started with a breathy laugh. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious!" you replied in kind.
"Why are you being shy about that?" he asked bewilderedly. "I've seen you pee before. Like thousands of times."
You scrunched up your face in a grimace. "Please, babe. I don't know if I can hold it anymore."
His laugh bounced on the walls of the polished bathroom. "Okay, okay!" he replied, still giggling himself silly.
But he did not turn and walk out of the bathroom, instead, he just simply hopped in the shower, closing the glass door and moving to stand under the shower head.
"Babe!" you squealed, eliciting another goofy laugh from him.
"What, I'm not watching!" he protested. "My eyes are closed!"
You sat on the toilet, biting your lower lip in concentration, feeling your brow furrow and you let out a big sigh.
Seungcheol heard that. "Baby, just go," he sneaked a look through the glass door of the shower, hair completely wet and pushed back, his naked, gorgeous body glistening wet.
"I can't if you're watching me," you said shyly, a smile breaking the concentration written in your face.
"Why? You've done it in front of me before," he shrugged and returned to stand under the stream of water. "Countless times."
"Yeah but..." you sighed again, but now in relief as you finally could relieve yourself.
Seungcheol smiled when you stepped into the shower floor afterwards, moving so you could stand beneath the showerhead. "What were you saying?"
"Nothing," you pressed your lips into a smile. "You're right, I was just feeling shy."
"It's okay baby. I get it," he shrugged, his eyes set on the movements of your body as you started rubbing your shampoo on your scalp.
"I guess we have been away from each other for so long that it's hard to get myself back to how we were before."
The honesty in your words was so blunt that it hit you only after you had already uttered them. Time froze for a second and you blinked the water from your lashes to sneak a look to his face.
He looked solemn, nodding slowly but you noticed the sad glint in his eyes, dimming the natural spark in them. "I understand," he muttered, but you noticed right away that he felt rejected. "I don't want you to feel pressured into doing stuff that we used to do like before. We can take it step by step. Mark new boundaries."
And with that, he stepped out of the shower, leaving you to continue showering in your own space.
Seungcheol was so quick to jump back to the relationship that he did not share the same burden that you carried. It was stupid, but you still felt like you had a lot to atone. And that stopped you from jumping with him.
You felt bad, but not only because of the dejectedness your words caused Seungcheol to feel. You felt bad for all of the time that you lost while being away from him. You felt bad for not being able to pick up where you left off with him.
And you wanted to change that, consequences be damned.
Kim Mingyu missed his shift for the second time the following day.
He sent a text early in the morning in the group chat, telling Seungcheol he had family matters to tend to.
But Seungcheol knew Mingyu well enough to tell when he was bullshitting.
"He's not doing great at the moment," Wonwoo informed his boss as they were setting up before open hours.
"I'll talk to him," Seungcheol stated with decisiveness, drawing a curious glance from you.
"Sure, boss?" Wonwoo asked. "I can do it. He's been avoiding everyone."
Wonwoo brought a hand to his nape, scratching aimlessly as he appeared to consider something over a moment. "On second thought..." he paused, then brought a lithe finger to push up the frames sitting on the nose of his bridge. "I think it's a good idea. You should talk to him, boss. Maybe he'll listen to you."
Seungcheol gave no verbal reply. He just nodded his pale blond head and disappeared behind the kitchen doors.
"Is Mingyu alright, though?" you asked curiously as you wiped a glass jar with a dishcloth.
"Absolutely not," Wonwoo confessed with a hollow laugh. "He's been a mess. He doesn't leave his room."
Wonwoo was worried, you could tell from the way the muscles above his eyebrows dipped slightly.
"And you think Seungcheol talking to him is a good idea?" you wondered, a genuine curiosity reverberating in your tone.
Wonwoo sent a side glance at you. The tall man was standing beside you, now that you were overtaking Mingyu's position for the day. It was a very slow day though, but Seungcheol had asked for you to cover.
"Boss might not be the most tactful guy I know," Wonwoo muttered between his teeth, sending casual glances to the kitchen doors. "But he definitely has more experience than me around... this stuff."
You stilled for a fraction of a second before resuming to clean the next jar. "What do you mean?" you pressed, trying to sound as unknowingly as you could.
"Mmn, let's just say that I've never been through a breakup like this," he put in with a nonchalant tone. "But boss has."
Your heart skipped a beat, sending a painful spasm in your chest. "Oh," you blinked. "I didn't know that."
It appeared as though Wonwoo believed your lie, pressing his lips into a tight line as he nodded slowly. "I met him after it happened, but it apparently shocked everyone that knew him and his ex. We have some friends in common, so that's how I heard of it."
"Sounds like a big breakup," you smiled stiffly.
"Yeah, I mean," Wonwoo cocked his head towards the very big neon sign on the wall behind the bartop that read Heartbreaker in red letters.
You filled your tummy with a big breath to suppress the guilt trying to set right in. "That explains some things," you sighed awkwardly.
"I've only heard stories," Wonwoo said with a low tone, still sending cautious glances at the kitchen door. "Boss has never actually said nothing about it. Well, to be honest, he rarely ever tells nothing about himself. He's all work."
"Really?" your voice shot up slightly.
Wonwoo's gaze panned over to where you stood behind the bartop. "Really. I've known him for two years already, he's never said a thing," he told you casually. "But I met him through a friend who knows him from a while back so, word got around that he was left broken pretty badly."
You had expected to hear something like this, but not from Wonwoo, not from someone that was not aware that it was you who broke his heart. The guilt consumed you like a fiery discomfort settling on the pit of your stomach, but with a gulp of air, you tried your best to compose yourself.
It was too late, Wonwoo had his head tilted to one side, his eyes analyzing your face. He didn't budge like you did, when Seungcheol came back to the general area.
"Everything alright?" Seungcheol asked, noticing the very evident interruption in the conversation.
"Everything alright, boss," Wonwoo replied without deterring his eyes from your face, a second passed and then he turned to Seungcheol. "Are you handling the tables tonight, then?"
"It's a slow day, so I might help you out here and there," he looked around, a frown on his face. "Where is the new kid? Chan."
Wonwoo shook his head. "He only comes on the weekends."
"Right," Seungcheol scrunched up his nose, palming the lacquered bartop with his hand. "Well, then I'm going to be handling the tables tonight. And maybe we should think of hiring more people starting next month."
He pressed his lips into a line before walking to the door that led to the back of the bar and disappeared.
"What is your deal with him, anyway?" Wonwoo asked abruptly, grabbing a box of beers to place in an organized rows inside the fridges.
"I just... want to understand why he is like this," you explained, though your words were uncertain, making your tone sound hollow.
"It was worse when I met him," he muttered, stretching his arm into the fridge to obsessively place the bottles into neat rows. "Like you said, he is not that bad now. And to be fair, he hasn't been nearly as bad to you as he was to Mings when he was the newbie."
You realized that the bottles were organized by the brewing style as well. "I see," you replied unconvincingly.
Wonwoo closed the door of the fridge for a moment, wiping his hands with a dry cloth as he took some reluctant steps towards you. "In fact, he's gotten a lot better lately. It wasn't until you arrived here that he got all pissy again."
"Is that so?" you asked, trying to keep a blank face, but you were pretty sure that he had you all figured out already.
"That's so," Wonwoo said, his voice dropping to a mere whisper, the corner of his mouth curved up slightly.
You and your stupid mouth.
You knew there was no issue with Seungcheol if Wonwoo and Mingyu knew about your shared past. He has told you time and time again that you could trust the two bartenders because he trusts them both with his life.
The truth was, you were scared. You didn't want to bear witness to Wonwoo or Mingyu treating you differently if they knew you were partially the reason why their boss had this reputation of being a jerk.
But it was clear that Wonwoo, being the detective that he was, had already noticed your very difficult to hide attraction to Seungcheol. That, on top with your brief interrogation might be two things to put together, thus uncovering you as the evil ex that left him badly broken.
"Maybe he likes you," he shrugged, clicking his tongue and sucking in a slow breath.
"Wonwoo!" you reprimanded in an scandalous fashion, dropping your hands at your sides and you felt the muscles of your eyes stretch wildly. "You can't know that!"
Jeon Wonwoo laughed, the bridge of his nose wrinkling in the process so he had to push his glasses back up with the tip of his finger. "I mean, that's the only explanation in my mind. Why would he get this pissy? Maybe he finds a certain attraction for you but can't really express it, you know? He's a difficult man when it comes to that stuff."
"What do you mean?" you tilted your head to one side, pretending to be completely clueless.
"He uh..." he shot a look to the door that led to the backrooms. And being certain that the coast was clear, he continued, he even leaned back against the door of the fridge. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but I am also intrigued, so, whatever," he shrugged. "He dated someone briefly not long ago, cut it off shortly after, worst week of my life."
A sharp pain crossed your heart like a lightning bolt, making the muscles of your face freeze. "Of your life?" you tried smiling but it came out as a stiff recoil of your facial features. "Seems a bit much, doesn't it?"
"I'm not saying that to make it about myself, I get how it sounds but," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "The man was pissed off all the time."
"Well, maybe it just didn't work out like he expected," you muttered, pretending to be cleaning the surface of the bartop thoroughly, but your heart was pounding a mile per second, each pump hurting your chest, robbing you of air.
A thought crossed the back of your mind: the way Seungcheol comfortably threw the comment of you dating other people, having sex with other people during the time you were abroad. He assumed that you also moved on, because he had too.
Wonwoo muttered something under his breath that sounded like: "It makes me wonder," but did not proceed to tell you more. And you did not push.
Because you were trying with all of your might to appear uninterested. Even if Wonwoo was apparently open to the idea to talk about your boss behind his back, you were completely unequipped to take this new information with a blank face.
"So have you found a place to stay?" Wonwoo asked some minutes after.
You understood that the question came from a place of genuine interest and not just because he wanted to change the subject of conversation. "Yeah, I'm staying with someone," you pressed your lips in a tight smile when your voice broke at the last word.
"Oh, that's good to hear," he muttered, resuming to place the beer bottles neatly on the shelves of the fridge. "So you do have friends after all."
"What is that supposed to mean now?" you laughed and you noticed him raise his eyes above the rim of his glasses to take a look at your smile.
He smiled too. "You said you didn't have friends, if I remember correctly," he muttered with an awkwardness about his manner.
"You don't," you chuckled. "I never said that. I do have friends... just not that many."
"Imaginary friends don't count."
"He's not imaginary, he's very real!" you protested with a high-keen tone.
"He?" he huffed with a small grin. "So it's just one friend."
"Yeah," you sighed shamefully, your tone dropping to a tiny one. "Just one."
"Well, consider me and Mings as friends," he closed the fridge, swinging the cloth over his shoulder. "So it's plural now. Friends."
Friends.
Something warm and cozy filled your chest. It felt nice, it felt right.
"I usually don't drink on mondays," Yoon Jeonghan stated, looking down at the table as the large jug of pale beer was set in the middle along with your food.
"You're gonna," you replied to him, pouring him and yourself a glass.
"Damn, you do need it," his eyes widened and his jaw dropped in a wide smile.
"I do," you sighed, chugging the half of your glass before stopping to breathe. "I don't think I can do this sober."
He chuckled with his mouth wide open. "Fair enough," he lifted his glass and drank, throwing you a curious glance.
"What?" you inquired.
He let out a breath after chugging half of his glass to be on par with you. "Nothing, it's just... I never thought I would see you again, y'know?"
"I could say the same," you admitted.
"Before you start explaining and I really do want to hear your version of this, let me put you in my perspective," he spoke fast, and you could tell he was nervous because he was bouncing on his seat like a little kid.
"Okay," you conceded, though it was unnecessary because this was Jeonghan, he was going to have his way.
He set his palms down on the restaurant table. "One night you were telling me that you were dropping all of your plans of getting your master's degree and the next day, you were gone."
You blinked and nodded, understanding how the situation looked for him.
He continued. "I had to find out from your crazy ass parents that you were gone."
"Seungcheol didn't tell you?" you had to ask, feeling shy to interrupt him.
He shook his black haired head. "He didn't speak to me or to anyone I know for a month. He hid from everyone, to this day, I don't know where he went," he paused and you saw that he was still upset about it. "I showed up to your parents' and had to ask what the hell was happening 'cause you were out of reach and Seungcheol didn't answer his phone," his gaze fell out of focus, lost in the memory. "When I saw him again, he was packing up his stuff, moving to another apartment."
"God, I'm so sorry, Han," you muttered, dropping your gaze in utter shame.
"And then, you know what your parents say?" he pushed his hair back from his forehead, getting angrier at the mention of your parents. "They told me that you were not coming back. They acted like it was funny that I was looking for you. They told me you were continuing your studies and god knows where you were coming back."
You nodded slowly, biting your lower lip.
"So you do know about that. Great," he sat back and drank the remaining half of his glass. "Care to take it from there?"
"That's why I'm not on speaking terms with my parents," you begun to explain. "They wanted me married to some old guy by the time I received my master's diploma."
"Let me tell you this before you continue," he placed a hand softly on your forearm. "Your parents are the worst people I've ever met in my life."
"I know," you nodded again, hearing that from your closest friends wasn't exactly a new thing but you wondered for how long Jeonghan held that back.
"Shittiest parents in the world," he went on, throwing his hand away.
"Damn, okay," you laughed.
"Sorry," he chuckled again. "Got carried off."
You had to pause upon hearing his laugh, it sent a warm, fuzzy feeling inside you almost in an instant. Much as if your best friend's laugh was the kind of medicine you were missing for so long.
"Where was I?" you frowned. "Ah, yesâmy parents married me off to some dude to form another political alliance and I didn't proceed so that's why I got cut off and been living alone since then."
Jeonghan blinked. "Jesus," he muttered. "You actually got married?"
"God, no," you shook your head violently. "They made me sign a binding contract saying that I'd marry anyone they selected for me. I broke the contract, paid a lawyer and everything."
"Jesus," he hissed again, dropping his chopsticks to his plate. "That's insane. Does Cheol know about that?"
You shook your head again and poured more beer in his glass and then yours, avoiding his gaze.
"Fuck, that's crazy," he muttered again, ruffling his fluffy black hair irately. "Your family is fucking crazy."
"I knoooow," you whispered, feeling the alcohol take its effect slowly, making your cheeks hot. "That's not the end of it, though."
"There's more?" his eyes widened in alarm. "You were right, I can't do this sober either."
Jeonghan chugged some more beer and you waited for him to stop swallowing it because you've known him to spit out his drink if he hears something shocking or worthy of a laugh.
"Because I had to pay a bunch of legal fees, and the PhD and everything I kind of started blowing off my savings and used my stipend to survive but, it wasn't enough soâ"
"You ended up in Cheol's bar," he inferred.
"That's right," you nodded.
"And you didn't see him?" he asked with a frown. "He practically lives there."
"All the hiring process was handled by Wonwoo," you pressed your lips in a fine line. "I didn't see Seungcheol until it was my first day at the job."
He set his empty glass down on the table with a blank expression on his face. "You have the most terrible luck on earth, let me tell you that."
You started laughingânot out of joy. It was almost a crazed laugh, probably fuelled by coming clean and the two glasses of beer that you already downed.
"I know, I know," you wiped off a tear from your maniacal laugh.
"So what are you planning on doing now?" he asked, intrigued by your drunken laugh and honesty. "With Seungcheol."
You sent him an inquisitive look. "He told you something."
He sighed heavily and set aside his chopsticks again. "He didn't. But I'm not dumb and I know you two fuckers better than anyone else in the world."
Jeonghan was right, he was quick on reading you as well as Seungcheol.
"So are you back together?" he inquired.
You nodded.
"Do you still love him? After all this time?"
"I do," you frowned. "You know I didn't want to leave, right?"
"He told me something like that," he nodded. "Even if he didn't say a lot."
"Jeonghan," you placed a hand on top of his, drawing his gaze to yours. "I'm sorry for leaving with no explanation. I know I could've done things differently, and I'm sorry for not trying back then."
"You were dumb, I know. But I also know that you'll make things right," he pressed his lips in a comfy smile. "Everything's forgiven."
You smiled at that and he pulled you into a side hug and rubbed the back of your head briefly.
"You can start setting things straight by paying the bill," he laughed. "I'm kidding, 'mkidding!"
He laughed at the cold stare you sent him.
"Right, you're broke now so I should be treating you," he chuckled again.
"I'm not broke," you countered, toying with the hem of your shirt. "Well, just a bit."
"You'll be fine," he said soothingly.
"And how are you?" you asked, casting a glance upon the man you swore you'd be best friends with your whole life.
"I am alright," he shrugged, his eyes lost on the table below his arms. But you knew him like you knew yourself. He was avoidant, he didn't open up unless he was insisted to.
"I've seen that your company has grown a lot," you smiled with both hurt and pride. Pride for Jeonghan coming this far, hurt for not being there for him.
"Yeah, I've been doing well," he smiled shyly as he usually did, avoiding your gaze with a long blink of his eyes.
"Do you..." you inhaled deeply, and your pause was long enough for Jeonghan to search your eyes again. "Do you have someone special in your life now? Has someone finally worked up into Yoon Jeonghan's heart?"
Jeonghan looked hurt for a second before shaking his head. "Nah," he let out a characteristic low chuckle. "I gave up on that shit a while ago."
"Seriously?" you tried to give him a grin, but it failed when you saw that he did not respond to your expression well.
Jeonghan planted his elbow on the table to prop his head on his fist, the other hand pushing his plate aside. "If you knew how my fucking love life looks like right now," he laughed bitterly. "I don't know if this is the kind of conversation you want to have after years of not seeing each other."
Your heart deflated in your chest, causing some slight pain as you tried to recuperate yourself fast. "Tell me," you prompted. "I want to know everything I missed."
Jeonghan's eyes read your face, a downturned smile on his face as he pondered on your request.
"Jeonghan," you started, sliding a hand on the table to grab his own. "I haven't seen you in two years, or heard from you. I wanna know anything you have to tell me..."
He let out a deep sigh. "Okay," he conceded. "Although my life is not as crazy as yours, it has been a little... chaotic this past month."
"Pfft," you huffed. "I think it'll take a big, big scandalous thing to shock me."
Your best friend paused for a second, still reading your face with his big brown eyes before letting out with a shameful smile trying to break the features of his face. "Wow, you really missed out on so much," he realized for a second, now mustering some boldness before blurting: "I'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend."
For a second, you believed he might be trying to pull a prank on you. After all, you knew him as someone that likes to be a bit of a jester, to get the biggest reaction from you, in particular.
So you just stared him down in disbelief. "Be serious, Jeonghan."
"I'm being completely serious," he blinked slowly, the downturn smile turning into something sad, shameful even. "We might or might not have had sex a week ago."
"What?" you gasped, looking at the tables surrounding the one where you and Jeonghan sat. "Shouldn't youâshouldn't you tell your friend about this?"
"I don't have to tell him," he shrugged again, seemingly upon remembering something. "He knows about it. He knows everything. He was there too. Watched the whole thing."
"Hannie," your eyes were widened in bewilderment. "What the fuck?"
Jeonghan nodded, releasing a tired sigh that told you how emotionally worn he actually was. "He knows I love her. She doesn't," he bristled in pain, you noticed, the way that he blinked pausedly and the joints of his arms stiffened. "But I'm alright," he choked out, his fingers fidgeting with the edges of the table. "I will be fine."
"God, Jeonghan," you sighed, covering your mouth with a hand.
Jeonghan looked at you as if he were enjoying your reaction. "Is my love life more complicated than yours now?"
"Well..." you sucked in a breath in pause. "Would you believe me if I told you that I don't think so? What are you going to do now, Han?"
"I don't know," he laughed. "Try and forget about her. Try to make amends with my friend. Move on. Keep myself busy with work."
Your heart crushed when Jeonghan's gaze dropped to his lap, he breathed in through his nose, chest swelling slowly and you instantly knew that your best friend was hurting inside.
"Oh, Hannie," you sighed again, feeling his pain, knowing what he was going through perfectly.
"I'm alright," he insisted, but his pointed finger was scratching at an invisible spot on the table now. "I'll be fine. They'll be fine. Someday I'll be at their wedding and this will all be a thing to fucking laugh at."
You heard the hollow tone in his voice, the way his gaze darkened when it got lost in the void at his lap.
Your heart sank.
You were well aware of how that felt like. For many nights you wondered about Seungcheol when you were far away. With a tight pain in your heart you wondered if he had moved on. You wondered if he had fallen in love with someone else.
You wondered if he loved you still.
"Hey," you whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It'll get better for you, Hannie. You'll be okay."
Jeonghan smiled, his knuckles still pushing his cheek in, making his smile twist. "I know," he muttered, meeting your hand with his own. "At least I have you back."
"And I have you," you smiled at him, and that made his gaze soften.
"Is it weird to be back with Seungcheol?" he asked, setting an elbow on the table to prop his head on his hand. "I mean, after all this time, you surely are not the same people. He's changed, and my guess is that you have changed too."
Jeonghan was right about that. Seungcheol had changed so much that sometimes you missed the spark you used to see in his eyes two years ago. The spark was there still, but it was rare to see now,
"It's weird, yeah. We are definitely not the same, and I think that the breakup made me more guarded, in a way. And as for Seungcheol..." you sighed, driving your gaze away from Jeonghan's face. "I think he is trying hard to get back to what he had before... but I don't know why I can't."
"Do you think that being away changed you?" he pouted slightly, his lower lip protruding out. "I mean, you two were very dependent on each other. And then you just weren't. That changes people."
You nodded in agreement. "It broke me to leave him behind," you whispered, taking your time to breathe in slowly to not break into tears. "You're right, I was really dependent on him, for years. And then I was single and in a totally different place. I had to relearn things about myself and I changed. I don't know if I can be the same as I was before."
"You don't have to," he shrugged, cocking his head further, still propped in one hand. "Seungcheol loves you. And yeah, he has changed a lot too, but I don't think that matters for you two."
"What do you mean?" you asked dumbly.
"I mean, you two are weird," he smiled shyly, showing his beautiful set of white teeth. "The kind that just clicks together, you know?"
"He wants me to move in with him," you blurted after some seconds of silence between you, only interrupted by the busy buzzing of the restaurant on a monday night.
"What do you want to do?" he asked with genuine curiosity, identifying that this was the thing troubling your mind the most.
"I don't know," you sighed. "I don't want to move too fast but. I like living alone, but I also want to be with him. I want to rebuild my life back with him but... I don't want to make a mistake again."
"Look," Jeonghan straightened up, setting his hands on the table again and leaned towards you looking at you straight in your eyes. "Fuck what anyone thinks, don't even listen to what I think if that's what you want. But, Seungcheol still loves you, even after all of the shit you put him through, he loves you. And wants to be with you. What more could you want?"
You remained silent, as you did not have any answers for that.
So he continued. "If I had an opportunity like that, I would take it. In a heartbeat."
"Jeonghan..." your chest deflated, but you instantly understood that this was painful to him, and he was dead serious about it.
"Sorry," he shook his head slightly and then smiled awkwardly at you. "Don't take my advice if you don't want to, again. I just think that you are thinking way too much about something that you want."
"Yeah, I might be," you sighed.
Jeonghan sighed, but you could see that he was gearing up to change the subject, leaning back on the seat to reach inside the pocket of his jeans, drawing out his wallet.
"Next time is on you," he nodded his head at you before calling for the bill.
"This is fancy," you giggled as you slided on the creamy colored seats of his BMW. "I like it."
"You know what," he huffed, tip of his tongue gliding between his lips. "I thought you would, when I bought it."
"You're lying," you gasped. "Really?"
"Yeah," he smiled. "I remembered you told me you liked this model. I got it a year ago."
"It's really nice," you smiled, looking around the leather seats. It smelled new.
Jeonghan winked at you, giving you a smile right before he ignited the engine, the soft purr of it making the features of your face change into awe.
"Nice," you repeated.
"Hehe."
He grabbed his vape pen from the cup holder, drawing a big gulp of smoke which he slowly exhaled from his nose.
"Oh, I see you quit alright," you chastised, enjoying the way a pang of guilt crossed his face, making him smile and chuckle goofily.
"Ah, but I did quit. For a time," he said as he turned the wheel, you noticed he quickly took the route to Seungcheol's, no questions asked. "But then you left, Cheol stopped speaking to me and it was either gambling or smoking. So I decided to quit gambling for good."
"That is a terrible excuse, Jeonghan," you giggled, negating with your head in disapproval. "But I'm glad you're not gambling anymore. I suppose that's progress."
"Yeah, but I run a gambling house, with your boyfriend," he tilted his head to one side, leaning his elbow on the middle console so he could rub the tips of his fingers on his chin. "Is he your ex, still? Or are you guys like, calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend again?"
"Huh," you huffed and tilted your head to. "I actually don't know. We haven't talked about it yet."
"Well, what do you two do, then?" he asked, shooting you a look and then quickly put: "No, no, you know what, don't answer that."
"What?" you blurted.
"I know you two only fucked once and decided to get back together, so don't even attempt to tell me that you aired out all of the shit you went through."
"We do talk, Jeonghan!" you squealed, trying to sound as outraged as you could. "We had a serious talk when we saw each other again."
The car came to a stop slowly before the red lights, which illuminated Jeonghan's face as he stared you down for a long second.
"Ok, we did fuck," you conceded after he narrowed his eyes at you. "But we also talked, Hannie."
"Oh, right," he giggled briefly. "So I'm taking you to your ex's place, then."
"Yeah, we're a mess," you nodded with a flat tone.
In the back of your mind, the memories of a healthy relationship floated in the vague background. Seungcheol and you just clicked, like Jeonghan said. Yes, you were codependent on each other, but at that time, neither of you cared.
It was a great relationship, with more highs than lows. More promises than deceptions. Seungcheol was your first love, and he was very much determined to be your last. And as soon as you saw how sure he was about you, you started to reciprocate. You missed that.
Now that you were changed, you wondered if you would handle everything differently. Because it was a very loving relationship. But the big fallacy was that he turned into your whole world.
Until the day that he was not.
"Hey," Jeonghan noticed your silent divagation, sending you looks in quick succession. "You'll work it out. Don't worry about it," he offered you a smile, pressing his lips together. "At least you didn't sleep with your best friend's girlfriend, right?"
"Jeonghan," you immediately gave him a look. "Self-deprecation is not your best look."
"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed with some hurt pride. "But you can't deny that it helps."
Seungcheol gave you a copy of his fob key, which you used right before stepping inside the elevator, where as soon as you were confined in its walls, started to think of the pleasant encounter with your former best friend.
You were sure that you could pick up your friendship with Jeonghan straight away, and now after being with him and catching up, you felt stupid for ever thinking that he would turn his back on you.
Thank you for today, Hannie. Felt nice to catch up. You wrote him before the elevator reached the second to last floor of the building with a soft ding.
You pay for next time! He replied as you walked out and into the hallway, making you smile at the phone screen when he added. Joking. But I also enjoyed it. Missed you.
You reached the door and stopped for a second to remember the passcode. Typing the numbers of your anniversary date felt somehow mind-splitting, much as if going back to the days when that date was the best day of every year for four years of your life.
"Babe?" you called as you crossed the door, catching some noise in the distance.
Seungcheol was walking down the hall as you peeked inside. "Hey, baby," he sighed with a pleased smile, bending down on his knees a little as he spread his arms wide.
You squealed briefly when he lifted you up from the floor, wrapping your body with his strong and beefy arms. "Hi there," you cooed, cupping his face with your hands.
"How did it go?" he asked, his eyes outlining the features of your face and then he showed you a broad smile. "Did you drink beer?"
"Oh, do I smell?" you tried to recoil, but Seungcheol leaned his face to press a kiss on your lips.
"Yeah," he giggled goofily, lowering your body back to the floor. But his hands quickly moved to grab your face. "Give me more of that," he muttered when you hummed against his kisses. "Kiss me."
"Let me go rinse first," you used your hands on his chest to push him, but unsurprisingly, he did not even budge.
"I don't care about that," you felt his lips stretch against yours in a smile. "Kiss me more."
"Seungcheol," you whined, but his hands were already helping his lips to bring you to submission. One hand gently placed beneath your chin and the other one circling to your lower back, pulling you closer to his warm body. "Mmn."
"How did it go?" he asked with a honeyed tone, pressing his lips repeatedly against yours capturing your lower lip between his, humming as he appeared to become more and more addicted to kissing you
"It was fine," you replied dryly, focused on getting more of his lips, his hands were sliding to your waist, fingers pinching the fabric of your pretty blouse to hike it up, so his hands could touch your skin now. "Cheol," you muttered between his lips.
"Yes," he replied, his hands gripping the sides of your waist, fingertips digging gently on your skin, using his grip to bring you close to him, his front pressed to your own.
"Can weâ," a shaky sigh left your mouth when in a sudden move he bent down on his knees again, lifting your feet up and set you down on the nearest countertop of the kitchen.
"Yes, angel?" he egged you on, lifting his gaze to find your face, and he took a second to outline the features of your face with his starry eyes.
"Can we talk?" you muttered meekly, being eye to eye with him now you could return the gesture and trace the beautiful line of his cupid's bow with your eyes.
"Of course," he blinked, and in a second his entire demeanor switched to a more serious one. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," you sighed with a smile, biting your lower lip as you searched in your head for the right words to say.
Seungcheol pushed his thick eyebrows up. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"
You decided that there was no perfect way to speak your mind. Besides that, you trusted Seungcheol and you did not need to say things lightly with him.
"Did you date someone recently?" you asked, and wished your tone had sounded more certain. Instead, it sounded shaky, and tiny.
Seungcheol bristled initially, his eyes dimming and going over the features of your face swiftly. His lower lip trembled and you knew instantly that he was about to say something but stopped himself. He nodded. "Yes, I did. Three months ago," he choked out, but you knew he was being honest.
"I just wanted to know. You know, he haven't caught up with our lives recently," you explained and saw his features change and soften when he also noticed your tone quiver.
Your ex boyfriend leaned his head to one side, but did not deter his gaze from your face. "I didn't mention it because it was a brief thing. I didn't think that it would matter."
"You sure?" you mumbled, bringing up a hand to pinch his chin and his eyelids fluttered at your touch. "You know, I don't want us to jump into something if you still have some things to heal."
Seungcheol grabbed the hand that was still on his chin and pressed his lips on your fingers. "No, I know, baby. It just didn't work."
"Can I ask why?" you whispered, heart thumping wildly against your chest.
Seungcheol shrugged. "She wanted more," he closed his eyes for a second. "And I couldn't give it to her."
Your mouth parted but then you stopped yourself before you could prod more.
He noticed and decided to answer your unspoken question. "I just didn't feel it," he whispered. "I tried, but it wasn't honest. So I broke it off."
"Oh, Seungcheol," you breathed, heart deflating painfully and your eyes watered. "I'm sorry," you said solemnly.
"No, baby, this isn't your fault," he replied, his eyes had started to glisten slightly, but he kept them zeroed on your face. "I tried to move on from what you and I had, I healed and forgave you. This is different, the reason why it didn't work out with her has nothing to do with us."
"Really?" you asked but quickly put: "I just want to know that we're doing this right this time."
"We are, baby," he muttered warmly, head tilting to catch your gaze. "Is there something else you need to know?"
"No, I don't think so," you gathered your tears with the pads of your finger as you sniffled quietly. "I dated other people too. Didn't work either. I couldn't do it."
Seungcheol smiled, wrinkles appearing on the corners of his eyes. "Baby, you don't need to tell me any details, it's okay," he whispered, pressing his hands on your thighs, rubbing small circles to soothe you. "I assumed as much, and I'm glad that you did."
"Why?" you whispered.
"Because it tells me that you also tried to move on," he shrugged slightly, gulping hard and that told you that this was as difficult for him as it was for you. "Besides, you were in a different country, completely alone. I'm glad that you tried to seek company."
You nodded slowly, coming to terms with the fact that even though you and Seungcheol have changed, there was still something so strong pulling you together. It was not a love fueled by memories alone.
"Is there something you want to know?" you reverted the question back to him.
He shook his head briefly. "No, baby. Not right now," he paused and then, "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm okay," you pressed your lips in a small smile. "I'm just feeling a little emotional, that's all," you whispered.
"Did Jeonghan say something?" he asked, but the light frown on his face told you that he thought this to be highly unlikely.
You shook your head no. "Wonwoo told me," you sniffled and tried to hide a guilty smile. "I might've prodded a little bit more and found out something I wasn't ready to hear," you confessed, batting a shameful look at him.
Seungcheol leaned his head to the side even further. "Baby," he started in a reproachful manner. "Why didn't you just ask me?"
"There are some things I'm scared to ask you," you replied meekly.
"Is my dating life something you were scared to know more of?" he pushed his eyebrows, his lips pouting: "Why?"
"It may sound silly to you, but it feels weird to know that you were with someone else not long ago," you shrugged.
"It doesn't," he corrected, straightening up slightly, but his hands were planted still at the sides of your thighs, on the kitchen countertop. "If the tables were flipped, I too would feel something," he said with full certainty. "That's why I'm not asking about your past partners. I don't want to know more. I'm content with knowing that you weren't completely alone."
"I wasn't," you whispered, gaze losing focus over his shoulder, in your mind you recalled the times you felt utterly alone and lost. "Sometimes I felt like I was, but I made some friendships. Short-lived."
"I'm sorry," he whispered too, calling your eyes to his.
"Don't worry about it," you blurted, lip quivering uncontrollably when in a flashing thought, the weight of your guilt and regret crashed down on you.
"Come on, let's get to bed, okay?" he muttered softly, grabbing your hands after you nodded at him. "Here," he helped you down from the counter and kept one of your hands in his own as you made your way to his bedroom.
A somber feeling had fallen between you and Seungcheol. You did not need to ask, you knew that his mind was reeling, you knew that being deep in thought also meant that he had started to plan ahead.
So you waited. In silence, you changed into pyjamas, and did your bedtime routine as normal, keeping an eye on him randomly, trying not to make it obvious that you were aware that he was overthinking.
But maybe, you thought, he knew that too.
When you slid beneath the bed-sheets, he had already made it to his side of the bed, sheets and covers up to his waist, chest exposed and bare.
Immediately, as you laid your body down on the mattress, he outstretched an arm sliding it under you and curled it, so he was now wrapping you into a side hug, egging you to rest your head on his chest.
"You're okay, babe?" you asked timidly, eyeing him up and down to get anything that might tell you about his mood.
"I'm just thinking," Seungcheol replied gently.
"Oh," you paused. "What about?"
"About us," he sighed and took a hand to run his fingers through his blond hair. "I want to put your mind at ease. I don't want this to overwhelm you."
You lifted your head from his chest to look at his face fully. Seungcheol sent you a glance, waiting for your answer.
"Iâ," gulping hard, you stammered: "I j-just, this is happening fast but I want this, Cheol."
However, your response seemed to do the contrary for him. He looked conflicted for a split second, his frown deepening slightly, making a couple of lines show between his eyebrows. But then, he lifted one hand and pinched your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, making his gaze soften.
"Is there something else you're thinking?" you whispered, knowing that look on his face.
Seungcheol never spoke his deeper thoughts unless prompted. He was a man that kept his emotions safe, only voicing them out when the moment was appropriate.
He removed his fingers from your chin to push your hair and tucked it on one of your ears, the pressure of his fingers on the crook behind your ear making your skin tingle.
"Sometimes I wished that you found someone," he mumbled with a sleepy sigh. "Even if it hurt me to think that I'd never see you again, I never wanted you to be lonely."
Your heart contracted so painfully that you instinctively had to blink your pain away. "I wished that for you too," you replied through a shaky sob. "I wished for someone to treat you well, to love you."
"I had that, baby," he whispered, seemingly unable to speak any louder. "Probably not with a partner, but I kept close to my family."
"Did you ever try to find someone?" you prodded with more confidence now, but you still held your breath.
"No," he breathed, blinking pausedly. "I wanted to heal, to focus on my goals, so I put a pause on that."
You nodded slowly, but you could not yank your gaze from his big and dark eyes.
"You?" he asked after a few seconds.
"Yeah, I did," you replied with a shrinking feeling in your heart, making your voice sound tiny.
Seungcheol only stared at you for a long second, and you could almost hear the gears of his brain turning. You prepared for him to ask more, you thought of all the possible questions, and all the possible answers, lies and truths that you could give him.
After all, you did not want him to know how much you actually hurt while you were away. Even if you were buried with school work, there was an unbearable ache gripping your heart tightly every day, for months.
You tried everything to yank him out of your life like a thorn in your chest. From burying yourself with school-work, to partying every weekend, to seeking comfort in other partners.
"And did... you meet someone?" he finally asked, his tone sounded steady, but his rapid breathing betrayed him.
"Iâ," you choked out, clearing your voice you tried again: "I didn't," you replied with honesty. "They were all good people but I was the one that didn't make it work. After some time, I stopped dating."
The truth was, you were hurting. And you took that hurt everywhere you went, and sadly, you turned into something you never thought you would become and started hurting people.
"I'm sorry," he breathed, shifting his face on his pillow, as if nuzzling it slightly to remove the discomfort you knew he felt inside. Because you felt it too.
"Me too," you pressed your lips in a smile. "I was dumb, burdened with pain and guilt. I know that now."
"We both did things in the past," he said with some languor from his long day. "What matters is what we do from now on, right?"
"Right," you nodded once.
"I want to do right by you," he said, mustering some energy to look straight into your eyes. "I want us to grow together."
"That sounds good, Seungcheol," you whispered, tone quivering slightly. "I want that too."
"Are you sure?" he uttered, sounding so small that your heart faltered painfully. "
"I'm sure," you decided. "This is just a little hard for me," you confessed, ignoring the wild vibration in your chest.
"I know," he blinked slowly, his tone soft and breathy as he took in a deep breath, saying: "You have been hiding inside a shell for two years. I get it because I feel it too."
"I'm scared, Seungcheol," you conceded, and he nodded with his head.
"I'm scared too," he whispered. "But I want to help you, I want to be with you. I'm all in for you."
With a sigh, you closed the space between you on the bed, and Seungcheol was already wrapping you with both of his arms.
"We could take this step by step," he whispered after a long second of silence. The tips of his fingers had begun to trace shapeless lines on your arm. "Whatever you want to do, if you want to go fast or slow, I can do it. Just say the word, and I'm in."
"I just want to be with you right now. I don't want to think," you replied with a whisper, realizing that it had been some days since your last dive into searching for an apartment, or a room where you could move your stuff into.
You have grown comfortable with this for the past few days. Even though there was an anxiety about living with Seungcheol after everything that went down with you. You realized that you wanted more nights like this, sleeping soundly in his arms.
"I know, baby. But at some point, we need to come to a solution. I can wait but I also want reassurance."
You shifted once again to take a look at his face, beneath all the tiredness and conflict, he looked sincere.
"I'll give you time, baby."
You gave him a small smile. "Thank you, babe."
Maybe Jeonghan was right. Your thoughts were getting in your way.
"Move aside," you whined holding a heavy tray loaded with clean jars.
"Na-ah, you know the conditions," Jeon Wonwoo shook his head slowly, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Fuck your conditions, Wonwoo. This is heavy!" you squealed dramatically.
"I've seen you carry twice the weight of that," he pointed a finger to the tray in your arms.
"Ah, it's slipping off, come on!" you gasped, your arms about to give out.
"Tsk, youâ," Wonwoo chuckled briefly but came to your aid quickly, grabbing the tray from your arms before you dropped it to the ground.
"You know what," Seungcheol announced, breaking the stare down contest between you and Wonwoo. "I'll handle the bar, since you two can't seem to stop fighting."
You turned on your feet to find Seungcheol going under the bartop, his hair ruffling slightly before he pushed it back with a large hand. "You'll have the tables tonight, okay?" he told Wonwoo.
"Me?" the recused arched his eyebrows, a finger pointing at his chest.
"Yes, you, Jeon Wonwoo," he snapped, nodding his head once sharply at the tables. "And you, stop distracting him."
"S-sorry boss," you stammered awkwardly, raising your eyes to find his big dark ones. You knew that the scolding was not as heavy handed just by the way that he sounded, he tried to mask a smirk by running the tip of his tongue on his upper teeth.
"Go," he ordered impatiently. "We'll open when you're ready," Seungcheol informed him as he passed by.
"You didn't have to be an asshole," you whispered, eyes raised to find his.
"Why not, it's fun to be the asshole the guys paint me as sometimes," he shrugged, now smiling deviously as he lowered his gaze to your body. "Besides, you can't blame me for wanting to be beside you."
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Y-you did that just so you could be close to me?" you shook your head swiftly, snapping into realization. "Really?"
"Like I said," he took a step back, squaring his shoulders when he noticed Wonwoo glancing towards you and Seungcheol. "It'll be fun," he mumbled, trying to be subtle but you did not miss the way that one of the corners of his mouth curved up slightly.
"Right," you muttered, feeling flustered already.
Working with Seungcheol must be difficult, you imagined that it must be difficult to stay away or to not look his way every time he passes by. He is incredibly attractive, every movement he performed was eye-catching.
Now, him being your ex only added to this level of frustration that you felt already.
Seungcheol smirked at you after you huffed loudly.
He had been teasing you at every chance he could get. Every time he passed behind you, his hand somehow found your ass, patting it slightlyâor hard. Depending on the given chance.
He also sent you suggestive glances, when he had the chance to and knowing no one was looking his way, he would lean back against the countertop and check you out, crossing his arms and tilting his head to one side.
"Boss," you hissed, eyes flaring at him alarmingly. "Behave."
Seungcheol chuckled, the sound of his laughter traveling across the bar, drawing some curious eyes to him.
"Okay, okay," he muttered and turned to take one of the orders that the printer had just sent.
Seungcheol had decided to wear some tight black denim jeans that hugged his ass just right. And every time he walked off, you just had to sneak a discrete look.
That gave you some pause. At that moment, you concocted a small plan to retaliate. If he thought that he could tease you all he wanted in the workspace, then you could too.
So firing back, you took every single opportunity you had to brush shoulders with him, sparking his curiosity at first. He just arched one eyebrow at you, but did not catch your intentions to draw his attention to you.
That was, until you started to do some more suggestive things, such as shooting looks at him, placing a hand on his back every time you had to reach for something from his side of the bar. Sometimes you would let your hand fall languidly, bumping with his ass.
"Stop it now," he whispered the third time you did this.
"Stop what, boss?" you inquired, batting your eyelashes at him.
"Whatever it is you think you're doing," he huffed, but a smile appeared on his lips.
"I'm not doing anything," you replied, making him frown slightly at you.
"Right," he cocked his head sideways.
"Maybe you're imagining things, baby," you mumbled, smiling sweetly at him before leaning against the countertop of the bar, nearly bending over completely.
A sly smirk appeared on his face, crossing his arms once again to lean against the countertop to check you out freely and for a second you thought he was being way too obvious.
But no, it appeared that you were in your own world. Everyone else kept busy with their tasks, and the guests did not even pay a second look towards Seungcheol or you this time.
This was fun, you decided.
". . . and that, according to him, is a Freudian slip, but I think he is just making things up," you rambled aimlessly for minutes, now fully aware that Seungcheol was not completely in the conversation anymore, no matter how much you tried to drive his attention back to what you were talking about before.
"Mm-mmph," he nodded, pushing his eyebrows up ever so slightly. "Right."
"Boss?" you called with some caution, but a small smile curved your lips. "Focus."
You leaned back against the countertop, facing him as he enclosed the space between you in a disclosed manner, your thigh brushing his.
"You started this," he said, gripping the edge of the countertop with both hands, he ran his tongue on his front teeth, eyes set on the rest of the establishment behind you.
"Started what?" you crossed your arms by your tummy, hands on your elbows.
"The teasing, the name calling, I can go on and on," he replied with a tight jaw, still not looking at you.
"Please do," you challenged with a confident smirk. "To me it sounds like I didn't do much."
"Oh no, yeah, you're still doing it," one eyebrow cocked up and now his eyes zeroed on your face. "Bending over the counter, wearing those fucking shorts," he let out a huff and clicked his tongue.
"I didn't start anything, you did," you shrugged, a smile on your face, seeing how conflicted Seungcheol was.
"Mmn," he hummed in faux contempt, nodding his blond head slowly and finished pushing the tip of his tongue on the inside of his cheek with a smacking sound.
And then, with the stealth that you have known him to own, he fished out for one of your hands, guiding it to his crotch. Your eyes shot up, but you attempted to make absolutely no move. Limbs froze, all except the hand on the hardened bulge beneath his black denim jeans.
Seungcheol, it seemed, had frozen too after releasing his grip on your hand, knowing full well that you would take your chance and palm his growing erection over the fabric of his clothes.
His eyebrow jumped up slightly when your fingers found the outline of his cock, making an up and down motion, losing some discretion.
It had been a while since you had done something so daring as groping in public, and something told you that this was the case for Seungcheol too. His chest had begun to rise and fall agitatedly, eyes set on the surroundings in caution.
"Fuck it," he breathed, dropping his hands from the edge of the countertop, stepping back from it, and from you. Your hand fell off his crotch, and your gaze flew to find his flustered face. Seungcheol ruffled his blond hair with one hand, eyebrows pushed up. "See me in the storeroom," he muttered as he walked off from you.
You knew you were in trouble.
"Cover me?" you asked Wonwoo who was passing through the emptied tables and found you frozen behind the bartop.
"Sure," he nodded, a frown appearing on his face. "Everything alright?" he asked as he went around the bar and stood beside you swiftly.
"Yeah, I gottaâ," you cut yourself off when you could not think of a good enough excuse. "I'll be back in five!"
Wonwoo pressed his lips in a line, looking bewildered. "Suuure."
You dashed through the backdoor, pushing it open with a force you were not sure where it came from. But you were certain that the exhilaration coursing through you made you stupid enough to stop considering that you were at your workspace.
But yet again, it seemed that Seungcheol did not care either.
As soon as you started turning the doorknob, it was yanked from the inside, a hand grabbing your wrist and thrusting you against his body. In one swift move, Seungcheol had closed the door behind you and pushed you back against it.
"What're youâ," you were quickly shut with a hard kiss on your lips, that soon turned heated, desperate.
"We'll have to do this quick," he hissed against your lips, and just when you were about to ask, you felt his fingers searching the hem of your shorts, finding the button to undo it with a hard tug. "Turn around."
Facing the door now, your fingers hooked on the waistband of your shorts and panties, pushing them down for him to finish moving them down just below your ass.
"Good girl," Seungcheol whispered and you heard the metal clinking of his belt, the sound letting you know his following movements. So you instantly arched your back, angling yourself for him and planting your hands flat on the door in front of you for support.
"Seungcheol," your fingertips tried digging into the hard wood when you felt a hand on your hip, pad of his thumb pressing on the soft skin of your glute. "Hurry."
"Shh," he giggled quietly, and you turned your head to look over your shoulder at him.
Seungcheol noticed your eyes on him, and held your gaze for a second before grabbing his throbbing cock in one hand, first around the bulbous, dripping in precum cockhead, pointer finger lifted up to search for your wet folds so he could guide his cock right inside you.
You pressed your forehead against the door, squeezing your eyes shut. "Fuck, daddy," you whined softly, ever so quietly you think for a second he wouldn't hear it over the loud music out in the bar. "Fuck, fuck," you grit your teeth when he started to ease himself inside you, the girth of his cock stretching your wet walls open, making you stifle a sigh at the delicious bite.
"God, baby, you take it so well," he praised in your ear, dragging his cock out, and then pushing in slowly at first. "So good for me."
You let out a puffy breath as his other hand encircled your waist right before he retracted his hips, and then pushed them with fast thrusts. The pace was now calculated, and fast, nearly brutal, you knew you had to make this good for him.
"Quiet," he rasped when you sighed a moan out, fingertips raking on the door in front of you now, trying to apply as much pressure to avoid bumping your head against it.
"It feels good," you replied with a whiny tone.
"Do you want me to make you come?" he asked and sighed a smile when you nodded with your head yes in frantic movements. "Arch your back for me, baby."
You instantly bent forward, angling your ass for him, his hand moved to the small of your back, applying pressure and gripping your hip with his other hand before he started plowing on you.
"Fuck," you gritted out, squeezing your eyes shut so hard you saw stars and colors. "Daddy, don't stop, please," you whined when his cock reached a very sensitive spot deep inside you with his hard and fast thrusts.
"That's it, baby," he sighed and let out a tiny groan. "Do you want me to pull out?"
His hand slid from your lower back, pushing your tank top up your back but stopped instantly when you shook your head no.
"I want you to come first," he whispered but with some urgency. The sound of him swallowing a raspy moan sent a frenzied shudder down your spine. "Come for me, baby."
One of your hands travelled down between your legs, finding your throbbing clit with your fingertips and immediately started rubbing fast swirls around it, crying out helplessly as pleasure bloomed from your pussy to your limbs.
"Good fucking girl," he growled when you succumbed to your fast orgasm. "F-fuck," he forced out using his hands on your hips to fuck you into him, sliding your throbbing walls on his cock slowly as he came with you.
He pushed his front flush against your ass with a long exhale. "Fuck," he groaned. "Don't move, baby. I'm pulling out."
You shuddered hard when you felt him slip out of you and your hand immediately slid between your legs to cup the warm cum dripping out of you.
"Here," he said, offering you a paper towel. "I should go out before the boys find us like this."
"Yeah," you laughed shamefully.
His eyes read your face swiftly. "Why are you laughing?"
"It would be funny," you muttered offhandedly, cleaning your hand.
"No. I'd never live that off with those two," he tilted his head to one side. "Besides, I thought you didn't want them to know."
"I'll take care of this in the washroom," you cocked your head to the door. "Go, boss."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't make it obvious, then," he smirked but left the storeroom shortly after when you were fixing your clothes.
After cleaning yourself up in the washroom, you were returning to the boys already closing up the place. Your heart sank, but as you crossed the space, Seungcheol sent you a quiet glance from the booth where he usually accounted for the day's profit.
"You took long enough," Wonwoo chastised but then gave you an inquisitive look. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you sighed, placing your hands on your hips to show some certainty. "Sorry. Thank you for covering me though."
"I'm almost finished with this side," he said without studying your flushed face. "Just close up the tables with Mings, yeah?"
"Okay," you nodded, turning away from his gaze but swearing you could still feel it in the back of your head as you walked up to the tables to clean them up and put the chairs up.
Mingyu kept a speedy gait around you, seemingly focused on finishing the shift as soon as possible. He did not even hum to a tune as he regularly did, but you saw it in his face, he was in a good mood.
"You're alright there?" you asked, watching him move through the place like a man on a mission.
"Got a date," he muttered, and then shook his head when you pushed your eyebrows up in question. "It's not romanticâshe's a friend."
"She?" you pushed, grinning. "A friend, huh?"
"And waiting for me," Mingyu nodded. "Come on, let's go early tonight, yeah?"
"O-okay," you giggled teasingly, lifting one chair up and putting it on the recently cleaned table, then you put the rest of the chairs up and moved to the next table to clean its surface.
"Let me," a low voice came from behind you when you bent down to grab one chair.
You sucked in a breath, and turned to see Seungcheol, whose face lit up in the tiniest of smiles that reached his eyes.
"I should stop doing that," he whispered at you, referring to surprising you often.
"Yeah, or maybe I should be more aware of my surroundings," you muttered, looking at his big dark eyes.
"Maybe," his smile grew, wrinkling the outer corners of his eyes. He grabbed one chair and put it up. "I got these, move to the next table."
"You got it, boss," you smiled at him cheekily.
A sharp, loud gasp came from behind the countertop, paired with a hard slam of Wonwoo's hand down on it.
You turned to see the man, standing aghast with his mouth hanging open.
"Hyung?" Mingyu asked with a worried tone.
The three of you looked at him, and it suddenly dawned on you: he had been watching your interaction with Seungcheol from the moment they exchanged tasks in the bar. And you had been too stupid to ignore his inquisitive eyes.
"You're her," he blurted out with a start then blinked, as if snapping himself to reality. "You'reâ,"
"Wonwooâ," Seungcheol warned immediately.
"No, it's okay," you interjected, from the look on his face, you knew that there was no way you could lie yourself out of this. He had found you out. "You're right."
His mouth fell open again, bringing a hand to cover his mouth.
"I'm so incredibly lost," Mingyu huffed, scratching the crown of his head, tilting it sideways. "What's happening?"
Neither Wonwoo or Seungcheol spoke, but you noticed the way they both exchanged a look. And that was something you could not deny, was that the three men had developed a partnershipâa friendship so strong that they simply trusted one another.
"I'm his ex," you explained after some quick thinking, deciding that there was no better way to say it.
"Whose ex?" Mingyu exclaimed, looking at Seungcheol, then at Wonwoo.
"We didn't say anything because it was my decision to keep it private but," you shrugged then looked at Wonwoo, whose shocked expression had not left his face. "You found out before."
"What?" Mingyu asked, voice rising even higher and blinked. "You're boss's ex?! The ex?"
Seungcheol brought a hand to his own face with a smack. "Mingyu, pleaseâ,"
"Yes, that ex," you rolled your eyes awkwardly.
"Wow," Mingyu huffed, turning to his housemate. "How?"
"The questions, boss's mood swings, and now," Wonwoo pointed, shooting a knowing look at you both.
You pressed your lips in a hard line. "Yeah, I might've been a bit too obvious," you turned to Seungcheol, asking for some help in the situation.
"Guys, I know that this topic of conversation has been... quite the fuss in here, so let me just put you both on the same page," he exchanged one glance with you, and proceeded after you nodded your head. "We were in a relationship before, some years ago. And I'm no stranger to the speculation, but no, there is no resentment between us."
"Because you got back together," Mingyu read the situation as fast as his housemate. "That's why you've been happy lately, boss."
Seungcheol grew quiet, it seemed that he had not expected to be told that. But after some seconds passed, you were about to intervene when he nodded. "Yes. We got back together," he said firmly.
"This is the friend you were referring to?" Wonwoo exclaimed with a hollow laugh. "That's not a friend, that'sâ,"
"Wonwoo!" you exclaimed, feeling partly elated that Wonwoo shifted from his initial shock and was teasing you in a friendly way.
"What are you talking about?" Seungcheol asked.
"Nothing," Wonwoo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, but the cheeky smile on his lips told you he knew the answer already.
"Mmph," Mingyu huffed once again, bobbing his head once and then turned to resume working. "Who would've thought?"
"Small world," Wonwoo conceded, palming the countertop gently now. "You were bad at hiding it. Both of you."
"What, no we weren't," Seungcheol countered but you knew that it was a lost cause.
"You were both in the back just nowâ," Mingyu realized and his mouth too, fell open with a very dramatic gasp: "On the clock, boss?! You two have no decorum!"
"Mingyu!" you squealed but he just chuckled, shaking his head in reproach but continued working nonetheless.
"And here I thought you were kinda haughty, newbs," Mingyu laughed harder at your aghast expression. "Tut, tut, tut, naughty-naughty, both of you."
"Mings, cut it off," Wonwoo advised, shooting a look at Seungcheol.
The tips of his ears were read, but that did not distract you from the hard and cold look he was giving to Mingyu. "Yah," he started, sizing him up.
"Hehe," Mingyu chuckled and then he turned to you. "Ah, so that is how you knew Jeonghan-hyung."
"He's my friend too," you nodded, staring at Wonwoo as you too, decided to keep cleaning up the tables.
"Oh, I see," Mingyu said knowingly. "Huh. Small world," he reaffirmed as well.
The ride back home was full of glances between you and Seungcheol, you could tell he was happy, keeping his hand parked on your thigh as the other gripped the steering wheel.
Your own hand was on his nape, fingers twisting in his blond hair affectionately. You remembered the times you did this routinely, so much so that it became something you did almost absentmindedly.
As you came back home, Seungcheol grabbed you by the hand, yanking you towards him and grabbing you by the chin to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.
"Come here," he whispered, keeping his hand on your chin as he kissed you heatedly. The other hand finding the button of your shorts, undressing you as you both made your way to the shower.
In the shower, you were completely enthralled by the love in his starry eyes, he kept kissing you, nearly not letting you wash for two seconds without having a kiss either on your cheeks, forehead or anywhere he could reach.
"I'll be right there," he muttered with a pleased look on his face when you stepped out of the shower.
After putting up your sleepwear, you decided to go look for something to eat, only to find nothing but a fridge nearly vacant to the exception of some cans of beer.
So. You've been found out. Jeonghan's text message read on your screen. You smiled in shame, but decided to reply to him the following morning when you heard Seungcheol's steps approaching from the hallway.
"Fridge is empty," you reported with a croaky tone from the tiredness consuming your body slowly.
"Do you want to go get something at the mini-mart?" Seungcheol asked as he walked to the open kitchen and up to you, encircling you with his arms, snuggling you close to his body.
You knew Seungcheol was not the greatest cook, and the memory of the times when he tried to cook for you had you smiling fondly at him for a second.
"Yeah, I don't really get groceries anymore," he shrugged slightly, thinking your smile was an accusatory one. "Rather order something or eat in a restaurant. Or in the bar."
"Mmmn," you drew in a breath, mustering up some courage as you spoke out your decision: "Well, if I'm going to live here with you, we gotta fix that, babe," you muttered softly, drawing his big, dark eyes to you. "We could go buy some groceries tomorrow morning."
Seungcheol pushed his eyebrows up, reading your face with his big eyes. "So you've made up your mind about this?" he inquired, his tone low and you could see how nerve inducing the topic of conversation was to him.
You nodded silently, biting your smile and grabbing with your hands his forearms that were parked on your tummy. "I think I'm going to give up the apartment search.," you whispered. "Is the offer of moving in with you still up?"
He blinked twice, as if he were jolting awake to reality. "Of course, love," he nodded, emitting a sigh through his parted red lips. "There's nothing I want more."
"Oh, yeah?" you replied. "Nothing else?"
"Well, there might be one other thing," he shrugged ever so slightly, small dimples showing on his cheeks when he showed you a joyful smile. "I don't want to be your ex anymore."
"Well, you just gotta fix that, don't you?" you grinned, looking up and down from his eyes to his smiling lips.
"Be my girlfriend," he muttered, using his fingers under your jaw to join his lips with yours. "Please."
"I'd be more than happy to," you whispered, finally giving yourself in, letting go of your fears.
⧠author's note: i want to apologize for making you wait for so looooong, i took my time and i am sorry
but thank you for everyone who waited for the update! and the ones who came to my askbox to ask about this fic, thank you for keeping it alive! đ©”
this fic is close to my heart, i literally poured my heart in chapter 3, writing about stuff that hit close to home i think that induced me into a writing slump because i couldn't find my way out and write? idk haha
⧠note 2: this is not proofread i'm sorry
⧠READ THE DRABBLE AND STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 5 ⧠JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (â'âĄ'â)
© TO HANNIEWEEN â I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
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