#slightly murderous fic writing bean

[fishedeyelenz]

Pssst hey, tell me about your take on the old man 👀 ya know who I mean

Also!! I would really like to know about Camille and how she came to meet Billy/how she realized she had feelings for him and vice versa😄

Omg... hello. First of all, love the work that you did for the old man community yk yk but you were truly The First. Thank you so much for inspiring me ough <3333 fair warning this is gonna be LOOOOOONG

About my old crusty man.... Well the lore is a bit complicated now cause I kinda developed two stories for him with the same characters more or less, but with different circumstances. Both of these stories are being written and made into fanfiction that you can read on ao3!!

So give me coffee and tv- the og plotline, first written as a yn x DILF!Billy fic, however after I had written the third chapter I realized I was basically writing for an OC at that point, so I developed Camille as a character and slightly revamped the fic, as well finished the fourth chapter with her as the protagonist. (the og second person perspective version of the fic can also be read here ).

In summary, Camille Morrison is a recently divorced middle aged artist who moves to the outskirts of a new town next to a forest, with her only neighbor being the Moaner himself. He has been more or less rehabilitated, but that doesn't mean he stopped with the phone calls. He uses them to "cope". And of course he just had to call Camille to try and drive her away, cause he still can't stand having people too close to him (they live 15 minutes away from each other </3). But Camille confronts him, and a sort of mutual respect begins to form, then a quiet friendship, but because of their combined loneliness it quickly develops into something more for the both of them. In the hiatus I had while revamping and writting the fourth chapter of So give me coffee and tv I also was talking to my mutuals a lot and questions about how DILF! Billy would act if he were an Actual DILF came up a lot. What I mean by that is, what would have happened if he had a child of his own. And so I started exploring the logical conclusions of the premise, and started thinking about what would have happened if Camille and Billy met when they were younger and somehow by chance had a child. And that child became Bean!!! I love her so much she's a little silly <333 (huge thanks for the development of this this story goes out to @lycanthropiclykoi, beloved mutual)

Rats in the shadows - The baby au of So give me coffee and tv basically. au of an au </3. Story told non-chronologically, it follows the life of and relationship of Billy and Camille and their daughter Bean. A more experimental work, in it Billy and Camille met while Camille was living in the sorority (in sgmcatv she didn't live even close to the same town during college, though in both timelines she is a painting major), After some growing pains (he wanted to kill her when they first met </3) the two of them come to terms with each other and eventually fall in love and move in together. However at one point Camille becomes pregnant, and Billy leaves her, as he fears that he will either hurt her or the baby. Pretty angsty but occasionally fluffy, especially when Bean starts to grow up into something more than a baby. Agnes is there. Brahms Heelshire is there. I am currently focusing on this fic, while sgmcatv is on hiatus atm.

As for the characterization of my old man, it is slightly different between timelines, though rits hasn't touched on him as a middle aged man just yet. So I'll focus on the sgmcatv version. Set twenty years after the movie, Billy spent a good few years after the murders in a psych ward, getting slowly rehabilitated until he made his way into a halfway house, then was deemed fit to live on his own. He is still obligated to attend therapy though, and is kept on a nice cocktail of mood stabilizers, anti psychotics and back pain medication. Works as a projectionist at a local cinema in the town he lives in. Spend a lot of time traveling with by bus or waiting for the bus, given that he lives in a very small cabin in the woods and can't drive a car. Blind as a bat, and dresses like a nerd most of the time. Has adopted six cats, which you can learn more about here. Loves them all to bits and definitely doesn't play favorites, no way! Thrift stores are his favorite place on earth, though going there doesn't help his slight hoarder tendencies. Doesn't like people that much still, but puts up with them most of the time. Very lonely, and likes to call people still partially to get let his built frustrations out onto them, partially to hear the voice of another person. Hes just a creepy middle aged man.

His and Camille's relationship definitely changes depending on the timeline. In short, in sgmcatv their relationship definitely began with a rocky start given that he started harassing her quickly after he saw her walking close to his house, however when she told him to quit it and fuck off to his face he started developing a respect for her. It also helped that after that encounter Camille treated him with respect and kindness. Kindness in general, as well as empathy are some of the defining characteristics of Camille's personality, and without that, they wouldn't be able to get along no matter the timeline. And they started hanging out, being neighborly, finding similar interests. Both of them are very lonely at this point of their lives of course, and it isn't hard for them to start developing feelings and getting horny for each other. Camille has realized by this point of the story I think that she has feelings for him, but she is waiting for the friendship to develop more and is trying to see if Lenz would be a good fit for her, especially since the scars of her divorce haven't cooled off yet. She has enough experience now that she knows rushing into things isn't good usually, though a part of her is pretty confident in knowing what she wants, and Billy does fit her type in a way. Only time will tell how the relationship will develop further ( I haven't written anything else yet </3) In rits it is so balls to the walls chaotic. Sgmcatv has a more stable and healthy ground for the relationship to develop from given that Billy has already seeked help and is honestly doing better than ever, while in rits Camille meets him in the middle of the worst period of his life and also unfortunately, he has a crush on her </3 She needs to beat him up and knock him out with a broom when they first meet. At least he doesn't kill any of the girls in the sorority... The early stages of their relationship aren't expanded up on that much just yet, though I can assure you it involves lots of weed to sedate him </3/j but it all gets sorted out relatively okay for the both of them. By spring I think they will be friends, and Billy starts respecting her more. How she develops and realizes these feelings is still a bit spoilery as I haven't touched on it yet in the fic, but they really do fall in love hard. And when he left it hurt the both of them. He just... didn't trust himself enough to be a father. He starts more seriously going to therapy during this time period, and Camille knows he never truly left. He still visit her at night when she sleeps, and after Bean is born he visits her as well. That's where we are basically for now...

As for Bean she is well... a little bean. Just a little guy. Likes tardigrades and microscopic animals. Loves her mama and that strange shadowy figure that watches over her during the night. Sometimes she is so much like her father it makes her mothers heart hurt. She's just vibing... for now at least... That's it in summary, of course theres more information in the fanfics, and a lot of things will be expanded upon in both aus. Hehehe thank you so much for asking about Billy, and Camille and everything else though. I really love talking about these two stories I have, at any chance I get really!!! I hope you have a good day!!!

[inked-out-trees]

16, 17, a cheeky 28, and 49 for the ask game? Thanks :)

Also obligated to include 43 though you don’t have to answer bc I don’t think you do prompts

HELLO MY LOVE thank you for asking me things even though it's one and a half days after I said I'd be bored at work.

16. What's an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

ohh i read and love so many aus it is so difficult to choose just one. some of my favourites include spies, ghost hunting, anything with magic, pacific rim (despite never having seen the movie lol), stories in which there Are alternate universes and characters get trapped in them. i could keep going but i'll stop there haha

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

I love writing things that draw from real life, partially because it adds ✨realism✨ and partially because it's fun to romanticise things that are happening in my life by turning them into fic in my head. (see: newsies band camp fic, newsies soulmates fic)

SO in that vein I would probably have an absolutely joyous time reading/writing a summer festival au, with tips to a bunch of the shenanigans I've gotten up to / been privy to over the past couple years. this may or may not include the romcom I dreamed up last year because our office (serious meetings) shared a wall with the city basketball team management (ping pong and beyonce). perhaps some bad roller coasters. camaraderie. breathless wonder. doesn't that sound alluring??? I can't get too excited otherwise I'll start writing it for real

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

welllllll if you're asking...

anyway I do have beta readers, three of them in fact! they are all some of the most incredible people I have had the fortune to meet through mischief, each incredibly talented and inimitably kind, and it brings me so much joy to get to hang out with them in chat every day. bean on!!

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you're up for it!

surpriiiise I am currently working on my supernatural detective agency au! it is called detective sagency in my files because I tried to make a joke about how they could use the same acronym. the cornley polytechnic detective 'sagency. it feels in character, like they would put it on their door like that. you know.

Trevor seems pleased to hear this. "That's what we do here," he says, and before Vanessa can interject with a slightly bewildered tell people which animal their initials look like? he adds, "Discover new things. You know." He waves a hand sort of willy-nilly. "Detectives."

+ 43. If you take/write prompts: what's your favourite prompt fic that you've written?

I love how you are obligated to anyway despite knowing the answer. In lieu of prompt fics etc, I will mention one of my favourite things that could have been a prompt but isn't - it was suggested in a private chats and expanded upon to a point where it basically became a little chatfic. It's an au of Lookout 3 (really inception-ing the AUs haha) in which Paul is not dead, the Penguin lands in Bethsbridge to wait out a storm and the crew embroil themselves in a cultish murder mystery, and Paul and John get to do the spiderman pointing meme at each other. I will probably never write it, so if you ever want a full elaboration / the entire sparknotes plot, I will be happy to oblige :)

[sanerontheinside]

y’all, i dunno... I thought I posted this shit before but I guess not anyway at some point I probably mentioned writing fanfic about my friend group from college  I can’t find that particular post tho which is probably for the better but I’m also an idiot who’s gonna post it now under a cut for, idk, shits and giggles. 

also, icky ricky is, legit, what they named the bathtub. he’s not a real actual person. that doesn’t change the fact that the spider who lived in Sangini’s room was Ricky’s pet. 

the worst part of this is none of the names have been changed yet and Alex=saner so spoiler alert I die real fast. blink and you’ll miss it. 

When the girls moved into their apartment that year, they joked about the bathroom looking like a murder scene. And it did: they assumed it was just rust staining the bathtub, and anyway their apartment complex had been on the short end of the list for renovations last year. Meredith was the first to move in. By the time the others had arrived she’d caulked and cleaned the bathroom, and given it a fresh coat of paint. All the while, as she was there alone, she kept hearing odd stirrings in the apartment - was it infested with mice as well? But she wasn't the type to get creeped out by murder scenes and odd noises in empty apartments, and decided the neighbours were doing the stirring. It was more logical than the reality, really.

It was when all four girls had finally settled in that things got a little bizarre. Everything seemed pretty alright at first. Noises were blamed on the neighbours. The bathroom - well, for all its faults, it was largely in working condition. But the lighter sleepers could tell you that apart from the drunk neighbours upstairs and the apartment assistant next door throwing loud-ass parties, the scuffling got louder at night. And it moved around. And sometimes - sometimes - the toilet flushed itself.

Sometimes it flushed itself during the day, too. Not that this wasn't a thing toilets did, as their friends assured them. It wasn't something you could call Housing about. Eventually you got used to it.

The bathtub, too, was something of a mystery. It happened that a couple weeks into the semester, it stopped draining. The girls called Housing Services, who sent a lady to give it a onceover. The lady assessed the situation, attempted to fix it, but was ultimately unsuccessful. The next day another guy came, but the tub, probably deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble, was by then draining just fine. It periodically had bouts of stagnation thereafter, but they didn’t seem to last very long.

Nobody thought much of the scuffling, or the random flushing, or the moody bathtub, or of the neighbours (nobody ever thinks much of their neighbours anyway) until the day that - until the night that - until the morning that Sangini blearily wandered out of her shared room with Khushbu and over to the refrigerator. The apartment upstairs was alive with staggering horses freshly drunk from some frat bar, the apartment next door had a spectacularly destructive sound system - so far as headaches go, a real menace. Not to say, sensitive heads, belonging to Comp-Sci majors who code by night, sleep by day, write essays by the crimson-gold of sundown. And so: at four in the morning a rather disoriented CompSci major with a pulsing head and a late-night gnawing stomach shuffled over to the refrigerator, stood in front of its dimmed light for a moment, staring at the packed inside, and reached over for the milk.

Her hand stopped a little short of it. She considered the situation, wondering just what was so odd about it. Sangini turned to the living room carefully and peered across it at the half-curtained window with a perplexed look on her face, then looked back at the refrigerator.

If there was no one in the living room, why had the refrigerator door been wide open? She hadn't opened it. In fact, if not for the little bit of light that snaked its way out of the the vegetables and boxes and eggs and bottles and things, she would probably have tripped halfway across the hall.

"Meredith?" She was certain that she'd left Khushbu asleep in the room, and aware that Meredith generally clocked out at ten or eleven and revived at five for a morning jog. "Neha?" Also unlikely. Two in the morning - maybe. But, four?

Whoever it was, they'd been here moments ago, since the refrigerator light was still on. Sangini shuddered, shook her head, and decided she'd opened the door herself. Milk, cereal, bowl, crunch.

Thump.

Okay - Sangini didn't have anything to do with that thump. She paused over her next spoonful, slowly raised her head, and peered into the darkness. "Uh, hello?" she asked the room at large. There was no answer.

Light. Yes - light would be nice. Right now it was dark outside and the blueish moon was doing its best to round the corners of the Richardson Apartments, but the complexes were packed together with the occasional tree in between, and the moon wasn't getting anywhere - the struggle was too damn real. Sangini cautiously walked over to the door, hit the light switch with a lightning jab, poised defensively at the rest of the seemingly empty living room. But there was no one there.

Sufficiently creeped out, she picked up her bowl and spoon and withdrew the heck from the living room. Whatever was digging through their packed refrigerator, it could have at it. Would be nice if some of the food in there got unloaded.

The next day was largely uneventful, in terms of scuffles. Khushbu had a co-op, and a moderately heavy day of classes. Sangini, as usual, slept in, then headed off to class herself. Neha shared certain classes with Khushbu and preferred to study at the library. Meredith, after her morning jog, also came back to the apartment only briefly. And Sangini happily forgot about the creepy thing.

Nature took its revenge on the close-packed campus in the winter, triumphed in spring, waxed vengefully hot in the summer, celebrated its victory over Rutgers humans anew in autumn. Now, after spring break, the weather was a bit more cheerful, and the ice was gradually receding as Nature entered its refractory period after pounding the natives with cold, wet, slushy dirty squelchiness, and decided it liked nice weather after all. It was the perfect week to celebrate Neha's birthday, and that evening the group got together at Henry's, the diner on Livi.

At least three separate conversations meandered all over the table of approximately ten people. Neha ordered a caramel coffee straight away, and set about weighing the vegetarian options on the menu - a limited number, but a pretty decent selection. Neha Sikka - not Sangini's apartment mate - was doing sugar shots in the corner by the window next to Ian, who was encouraging her. Sangini and Ben and Kriti were warring over pasta choices. Alex suggested coffee flavours and dessert choices, and punched Ben in the shoulder whenever he said something she didn’t like. Sanjana and Ashwini pored over the menu in search of something they hadn't tried yet. Bethann looked for someone with whom to split the Bruschetta, and was trying to convince Khushbu at the moment. Pooja, who lived on Cook-Doug and whom they almost never saw, joined them about twenty minutes into the meal. Aditya ordered quickly and went back to discussing comics and computers with Ben. Jeff ‘the Ninja-Crow’ presided silently by the windows.

Eventually Alex started talking about that time she couldn’t fall asleep for half the night, heard something clanging in the suite that sounded a lot like the heater was broken. She’d come out and found Sam cutting up a kiwi over the sinks. Sangini instantly remembered the creepy thing.

“Guys-guys-guys-guys!” she hissed excitedly down the table.

Ben answered with his predictable ‘What!’ [-do you want from my life-, unspoken], Alex immediately devoted her attention entirely to her salmon, Neha and Kriti were busily splitting and sharing their dishes. Really, trying to get everyone’s attention was more than a bit like herding cats. “Guys, I think there was someone in our apartment last night. At, like, four in the morning.”

“Ben, did you sleep there?” Alex asked quietly.

“No.”

“Did Matt sleep there?”

Sangini shook her head. “Nobody slept over.”

Alex wasn’t giving up. “Jeff, did you come in through the window?”

“Nope.”

Alex shrugged. “Honestly, your bathroom flushes itself, your bathtub plays games with you, and you think there is someone in your apartment at four in the morning. Maybe it’s haunted.” Not that she believed in ghosts. Although, she seemed to entertain the idea of friendly, mischievous spirit-gremlin-type thingies.

“Yeah!” Ben half-shouted, and returned to his previous conversation.

Sangini persisted: “No, but I’m serious, I’m pretty sure I heard breathing in the living room. And the fridge was open before I got to it. Alex? Come stay with us?”

“Overnight? I can’t, I have a long day tomorrow. But I can go back with you guys.”

Alex wasn’t particularly afraid of ghosts, and it was nice to think that if there was a ghost, she could beat it up and scare it back to the Netherworld. Almost in jest, she took the precaution of enlisting Khushbu’s help, however.

But when they all got back to Richardson, they opened the door to a pretty bizarre sight.

He'd been coming out of the bathroom - they could still hear the toilet flushing - and hadn't had enough time to duck into Meredith's room. Sangini had immediately pushed Alex to the head of the crowd, between herself and the intruder.

"Uh," he said. "Uh, hi," he thought to add.

"And who are you, exactly?" Ben supplied, as Alex still seemed to be running through swear words un her head so that she didn't say them aloud.

“Nobody,” he mumbled.

“Got a name?” Alex drawled, having finally hit on the part of her brain that didn't require a censor.

"Uh," he said, "yeah. Rick. Name's Ricky."

"Ricky," Ben repeated flatly. He nodded. "So, what’re you - how did you get in?" The man just stared back.

"Were you here last night?" Sangini called out finally.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, the guys let me live here last year, I sorta don't have a place to go, so -"

It was the first coherent sentence he'd spoken, and it got away from him by the end, but at least he spoke. Alex walked forward to a chair - Ricky shrank back as she did so.

"So you've been living here since last year?" Ben asked, as everyone followed Alex's example and filed into the room.

"Yeah. I lost my job, and, uh - well I used to be a plumber here, so..."

"What, have you been living in walls?" Neha asked in disbelief. Snark popped out of her when she was nervous or worried.

"Under the couch. Sometimes the beds. Depends."

They all jumped as the buzzer rattled in the ensuing silence. "Somebody has to let Ashwini in," Khushbu said quietly.

"Uh, should we?" Jeff asked.

"Would it change anything?" Neha pointed out. "We're all freaked out anyway."

So Khushbu ran out to let Ashwini into Richardson. Ashwini pointed out, in a timely fashion, that Khushbu was looking more worried than usual, which of course only flustered Khushbu more. Ashwini was finally getting around to asking her what was wrong as they walked through the door. She stopped dead at the sight of Ricky, who was grinning a somewhat nauseated grin. The poor guy honestly looked terrified.

“What the hell?” Ashwini stuttered out a breathy, nervous laugh.

“‘Shweens! This is Ricky. Ricky, this is ‘Shwini.” Sangini made the introductions, for all the world like this sort of thing happened every day.

‘Shwini, as usual, didn't miss a beat. “I thought you named your tub that.”

There was an awkward pause. Ricky, thankfully, didn't notice. And anyway, Alex immediately distracted him with a very enthusiastic - “Hey, you gotta show me how you hide!”

Ricky blinked. “Uh, okay.”

Alex was suddenly excited and jumped up. “Seriously, there's no space here, I want to know how you do it.”

Ricky stared at her looking a little shelled, said “okay” again, and turned around and walked back down the hall into Sangini’s room. Alex darted after him, grinning madly, while everyone else tried to explain - badly - what the heck that was about to Shwini.

By the time Alex got to the room, though, she’d nearly lost Ricky in the dark. He hadn’t turned on the lights, not in the hall and not in the room, and Alex pretty much blocked the better part of the dim light from the hall.

“You sure you wanna do this?” Ricky asked, awkward as before. “I mean like… not everybody wants to go through walls ‘n stuff.”

Alex laughed. “You kidding? I’ve always wanted to walk through walls.”

Ricky brightened. “Oh, yeah? Cool. This way, here - see? This part of the wall kinda feels funny, like it’s buzzing, yeah?” He ducked over to the window at the head of Sangini’s bed and put his hand beside the frame.  

Alex pressed her hand against the cinderblock gently. “Yeah, sure. So you just… go through?”

Ricky nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay then.”

Ashwini was not to be distracted, and not really one to be unnecessarily polite. “So who was that creepy dude?”

Ben perked up from across the room. “Who, me?”

“No, Jeffrey,” Ashwini deadpanned back at him. “Why is there a creepy guy in Sangini’s room?”

“He’s the creepy bathtub,” Ian clarified, though it offered absolutely no clarity.

“Come on, guys, I’m serious!”

Ben shrugged. “Hey, where’s Alex?”

“Alex?” Sangini turned and called down the hall. “You guys coming back?”

Alex wandered out of the room, looking pretty cheerful. “Nah, Ricky bailed. Said he saw a guy coming over whom he didn’t like.”

Someone buzzed the door again. “Oh, I think that’s Matt!” Sangini exclaimed, completely missing the sudden hush as she twisted around and booked it for the door.

Alex snickered. “No situational awareness, that one,” she sighed, as the door shut.

“Yeah!” Ben shouted, and went back to playing Cards Against Humanity against Aditya, Pooja, and both Nehas.

personally, the highlight of my night that year was the ddos attack on Rutgers, probably the first of three, which was eventually determined to be caused by bots based in Russia, and why they picked RuTGeRs UniVerSIty of all places is still a fucking mystery my dudes. 

Then they lost the Internet.

Alex had been relaxing, quietly writing her fiction, discussing something with Ben. The conversation could have been mildly disturbing for the uninitiated.

The moment the Internet blipped out, she scowled and asked what was going on.

"Apparently a disgruntled student has launched a DDoS attack," Jeff remarked flatly.

"Wait, for real? Shit," Alex muttered. "Dunno about disgruntled students, but this clown is disgruntling me and my not-yet-downloaded thermo hw and practice problems."

“Yeah - meanwhile, you’re writing fiction,” Ben smirked. Instead of hitting him for pointing out the obvious, though, Alex shrugged.

"Yeah - no, guys, that may not be true," Sangini interjected quickly.

"Well if it is true, if I fail this midterm, and if I find this joker, I will tear out his throat in a most disgruntled manner," Alex said lightly, as if commenting on the weather.

Aditya had been keeping tabs on emails from the university's tech office and soon discovered a Twitter account that claimed to be the hacker.

[notso-average-writer]

Hi! Could u write a fic about how realistically it would be like to have a relationship with Jason? Thank u!!

Realistically Speaking

“Hi! Could u write a fic about how realistically it would be like to have a relationship with Jason? Thank u!!”

Hi, Anon! You don’t know how much your ask means to me right now. I was so close to deleting this blog and quitting writing forever but this… this makes me feel good. So thank you so much!

(I also haven’t written in YEARS so it’s gonna be a little crusty)

Realistically speaking, Jason cannot exist. Let’s just say that flat out. No HUMAN BEING, in this universe at least, can be RESURRECTED from drowning. For the sake of this ask let’s just say he survived and became a hermit, living in the woods and feeding off plants, bugs, and animals. Building shelter with his own hands while still living off the land. Where does (y/n) come along you ask? Jason realizes that all the food from the now-dead campers is either rotten or gotten to by the neighboring wildlife.

‘It has been a couple of years since anyone wanted to step foot in the camp, but maybe some canned beans would still be salvageable?’ Jason thought to himself while looking through the pantry of the main hall

Absolutely not. The package dated back to 1943, a year before his own mother was born. He held the dented and rusty can in disgust, even the cockroaches crawling on it wanted no parts of these beans. Jason sighed, realizing not only did he not have any more canned goods, but he had also chased the native population of deer away. Sure there were rats and other animals around the cabins, but he considered some of those animals his friends. He is a Disney Princess at heart after all.

The once full pantry of canned goods and spices mocked him. After years of living in the camp, it never occurred to him that he would run out of food. He held his head low, knowing what must be done. He grabbed the various bills folded neatly on his dining room table and stuffed them in his pockets. The kids that used to come to camp most likely carried some form of cash on them. Jason never thought he would actually use the money, but he thought it was good to keep on hand just in case.

Taking eager but steady paces up the path towards any civilization, Jason had realized how long it’s been since he’s seen any other person since his last kill a few years ago. The once vibrant camp had folded upon its murderous past. Leaving Jason alone with nature and his thoughts. Jason isn’t this undead, barbaric creature of the night; He’s human. He feels emotions, he would want love and companionship just like any other being on this earth. And just like any other being, he needed food.

The small market came into view quicker than he anticipated. It was early in the morning, the sun barely peeking through the trees as the cool winter air brushed past his nose through the holes of his mask. The last time he’s been to any place like this, his mother gripped his hand tightly while slightly dragging his petite body through the parking lot.

Looking around the premises, various holiday themed decor could be found. From colorful Christmas lights to the creaky dancing Santa at the front of the store. A little outdated, being as though the new year had rang in a few days back. However the dingy decorations brought the silent killer a warm feeling within his being. Birds chittered in the sky with joy, bringing a small smile to his face. While the scene had been mundane, Jason had appreciated the sense of normality the atmosphere held. All those years surrounded by nature had taken the reality out of the ever so growing world. The towering trees creating their own dimension, shielding Jason’s small civilization. It was nice knowing that some things on the outside stayed the same. Taking in a small breath, the man walked into the mart. Establishing a small shopping list in his mind.

Y/n was an old soul. Seeing that the smaller things in life were easier to mentally digest. She worked at a veterinary hospital in the middle of nowhere and lived in an one room shack not too far from the camp. Of course it’s been properly renovated to accommodate the average human in the 21st century. Adding her own personal touches here and there to make the cabin feel more homey. The young woman went to the mart every week, grabbing groceries, toiletries and sometimes small trinkets to liven her home.

Knowing the malicious past of the area, neighbors and visitors weren’t common. Most of the girls’ social interaction being with her coworkers and the couple that tended to the mart. So it came to quite the surprise when she saw a man, a masked man- but a man no less, browsing the aisles of the small store front. He peaked her interest ,sure, seeing someone out of her usual social circle casually strolling the canned goods aisle would spike some curiosity within anyone. A small surge of energy lurched from Y/n’s chest, her normal grocery run had become a little more interesting as the masked figure’s head shot towards her. The small bell alerting him of another presence in the store besides the sleeping old man and himself. In a heartbeat, Jason turned his head back to the can of chicken noodle soup in his ginormous gloved hands. Not wanting to bring anymore attention to himself while on his first escapade outside the camp.

Y/n shrugged, continuing on her normal route throughout the store. Glancing out of the corner of her eyes ever so often to check on the man's shopping progress. Oddly, there had not been much. Jason stared at the two cans of soup in his hands with confusion, not understanding the label's content. All this nonsense about “GMO's” and “cholesterol” had boggled the hermit man's mind. What did any of this mean? Was he going to still be alive after eating this? Millions of questions raced through his mind until he heard a soft voice speak up,

“This one has more chicken.” Y/n said as she pointed at the blue can in his right hand.

Jason's head whipped to his right side, spotting the young woman directly next to him. His height easily dwarfing her own, almost scaring him. The last time he was this close to another human, they were begging him to spare their life. His heart rate sped up at such close proximity, body stiffening at the sight of the young woman's supple hand pointing at the can in his hand. Reading his body language, Y/n retracted her arm quickly and took a step away from man, granting him more personal space.

“Sorry,” she blurted, “This is one of my favorite brands, plus it's cheaper” she shrugged.

Jason nodded, putting the red can back on the shelf and the other in his cart. Y/n following suit by grabbing her own cans. The woman continued shopping for her canned goods while the man’s eyes continued to follow her actions around the aisle. This interaction had been the only positive one he had in years and he craved more.

He turned back to the shelves in front of him, reaching for two cans of beans. Both containing the same content but sporting different logos, he looked back to the woman who had just glanced over at him to spark conversation again. She smiled and pointed at the one in his left hand, Jason smiled and put it in the cart. The went on for the rest of the shopping trip, Jason wordlessly holding up two of the same product and Y/n pointing at the better one.

Once checked out with their products, Y/n and Jason walked out of the shop with their hands full with bags. They both strode towards the yellow, two door Fiat in the almost empty parking lot. Placing her bags in the trunk, Y/n looked back at the man standing at a respectable distance before her.

“My name’s Y/n by the way.” she spoke brightly, half expecting him to respond.

A few seconds passed by and the man swallowed thickly, nerves bouncing as his throat cleared up enough for him to speak.

“Jason.” the disgruntled voice spoke softly.

Y/n smiled as she shut the trunk to her car. “Well, Jason. Don’t be a stranger, if you ever need anything, I’m usually in the small cabin over that way.” She pointed in the direction of her humble home.

Jason’s chapped lips formed into a small smile underneath his mask, reaching his eyes. He simply nodded and started walking back towards his home. Y/n looked at the man longingly as he strode, the warm feeling in her body never once fading even as she made the short drive back to her place. Something about the masked man made her feel fuzzy and humble. So every Sunday for the next few weeks, Y/n excitedly walked into the mart hoping to see her new friend. The first week after their first meeting, Jason didn’t appear. Neither did he show the week after that. Almost a month of not showing up to the mart, Y/n gave up hope of ever seeing the mysterious man again. He must of been a traveler, or a random passerby man looking for some food for a trip, she thought. Soon the fuzzy feeling started to fade in Y/n’s body, almost dissipating entirely at the sight of the empty market aisles. She sighed heavily through her nose, grabbing a cart and starting her usual routine around the store.

A bell chimed, signaling the arrival of another customer entering the store. Y/n paid no mind to the sound and pushed her cart to round the corner into the next aisle, eyes searching for an item on her grocery list. Looking up on the top shelf for her box of cereal, she spotted him in all of his masked glory. He had cleaned up a bit, the ragged shirt he sported the last time they had met had now been replaced with a semi-clean flannel button up. An olive green heavy coat wrapped snugly around his frame, and of course his infamous cracked and battered mask sat on his face, bringing out his baby blue eyes. His figure heavily contrasting with the red and pink Valentines Day decorations surrounding the store.

Y/n’s eyes shone brightly, excited to see her new found friend once more. They stared at each other for a moment, then both looked away bashfully. Jason made careful steps towards the aisle Y/n had planted herself in, once face to face they made eye contact once more.

“Hi.” Y/n spoke meekly, resisting the urge to speak more than that.

“Hello.” Jason rumbled with his baritone voice. His eyes looking at her figure, then to her cart. Searching for something to spark conversation.

Pointing to the yellow box of cornflakes, Jason looked at her with curious eyes. The woman blinked at once and nodded, “Those are good but,” she stepped back to gesture to another box, “These are the best.”

Once again they went through the same process of shopping and once they found themselves back in the semi vacant parking lot, y/n spoke up again.

“Do you need a ride home?” She questioned, hoping to spend more time with the masked shopper. The question lingered in the air for a hot second before Jason finally answered.

“No.” He rasped with a twinkle in his eyes. Y/n nodded and continued to pack her things into her car.

Jason waved to the woman and continued on his path back to the camp.

Some weeks later, Y/n sat in the living area of her home, enjoying her favorite hot beverage and watching some movie she’s seen a million times before. Valentines Day was one of those days that have never had that much of an affect on her. This year would have been no different if it wasn’t for a certain masked man. After their last encounter, the two had seen each other every Sunday. Slowly becoming close with one another. Once she had dropped a bag of pretzels as she went to pick them up and they both went to pick it up at the same time. Classic and cliché. Her heart pounded as their hands met, heat rising to her chest. She thinks about all the awkward encounters she had with this man, making her heart flutter all over again.

She munched on said pretzels as the screen of her television lit up the dark room. It was a dark winter night, no where near late. At least a little after 5pm as a knock sounded upon Y/n’s door. The woman jumped in her seat in confusion and shock, she surely wasn’t expecting any visitors. She crept to the front door nervously and slowly. Once her finger touched the door knob a wave of realization came over her, her grocery store friend was always welcome to her humble abode. She excited swung open the door, meeting the eyes of exactly who she thought it was.

“Hi!” She greeted with a slight breath. Taking the man in, she noticed the three single flowers, half dead, all varying in shape and color.

“Hi,” the man rasped meekly, Y/n stepped to the side and offered him to come inside her home. He happily did so, the warmth of the cabin warming his cheeks. Once inside Jason pushed his giant hands that engulfed the flowers towards her. She smiled brightly and took them gracefully. The delicate petals slowly withering way but the sentiment was still there.

“Thank you.” She beamed.

From then on, Jason came over to her house almost every day. With her cooking him meals, patching his tattered clothes and just simply spending time together. Jason never really wanted her to come to the camp, in fear of her retracting her feelings. But Y/n fully knew who Jason was, it never bothered her one bit. If anything, knowing of his traumatic past made her heart yearn for him more. The days went on and Y/n and Jason did almost everything together, from watching T.V, to her favorite activities. Their relationship went without saying much. When Jason would come home with wounds and battered clothes after doing his job at the camp, she’d patch him up with light tsk’s for being too rough on himself. His mask, while although gave him comfort, came off while he was with Y/n. The feeling of hiding completely dissolved from his mind when he was around her.

Jason truly loved Y/n, referring to her as his Little Dove and her calling him various names such as Big Guy, Hubby and Bear. Y/n came to find that Jason was a greatly touch starved. Always finding some way to be close to or on her. Hand holding, thigh squeezing, head caressing were always happening when Jason was near. Things never seemed to go farther than that. Sex being something they haven’t found themselves bringing up often, if ever.

Y/n loved to walk around the camp, taking in the scenery and breathing the ever so fresh air. Jason keeping guard of course, not wanting anything to go south. All in all, the relationship between the two flourished with every day the spent together. Of course there were some bumps but never anything that could cause the two to separate. With Jason being extremely clingy and couldn’t stand the sight of her even slightly upset with him.

Thank you, Anon for this ask. This has brought the writer out of me that has been in hiding for the past few years. If you want more, please feel free to send it to me! Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope enjoyed. :)

Jan. 15, 2022

[ladylookslikeadude1]

Hi I love your Say You Want Me (Don't Be Nice) fic and was wondering if you could write about Hitoshi Shinso meeting Aizawa’s friends in detail like you mentioned in the fic. Thank you!

@asxrum, Thank you so much for the prompt! I wasn't expecting to write out the meeting between Hitoshi and Aizawa's friends, but I think it turned out pretty good! Let me know what you think!  I have one final prompt I’m working on that was requested anonymously, so keep an eye out for that in the next day or two!

Hitoshi frowned at his mentor. “I’m confused,” he admitted. “I can understand meeting Ingenium-Tensei, sorry,” he corrected himself under Shouta’s frown. “But I’ve already met Midnight and Present Mic. They literally taught me for three years.”

“You met Midnight and Present Mic,” Shouta agreed, “But you’ve never met Nemuri and Hizashi, which is an entirely different situation.”

“Ok,” Hitoshi said after a moment, entirely baffled by the entire situation. “If you say so.”

Shouta sighed, patting him sympathetically on the shoulder like he’d just given him the world's worst mission. “You’ll understand,” he promised.

Much to Hitoshi’s horror, his mentor was very correct.

“Robbing the cradle Sho?” Nemuri purred as she wrapped herself around Hitoshi as he froze. Both because if he shifted any direction he would end up touching her very inappropriately, and also because of what she’d implied.

Izuku would kill him. His best friend would smile to his face, and then assassinate him ten minutes later if he dated Sensei. Not that he would, because the idea of it grossed him out, but Izuku would literally murder him. Not that he could say that, because Izuku would also murder him if he spilled the beans about the huge crush his friend had been nursing for years at this point. There were no good options for him here.

“Nem, you’re scaring the Listener!” The boisterous voice of Hizashi cut through the daze Hitoshi had found himself in, and he had never been more grateful to the loud blonde than when he plucked Izuku from Nemuri’s grasp. He very promptly regretted that gratitude when he was placed by Tensei and the man began interrogating him about his career goals.

It was the nicest interrogation Hitoshi had ever been in, of course-and sadly, he’d been in a few-but it felt like he was a date and they were trying to see if he was good enough for Shouta. It was the weirdest situation he’d been in, and it got weirder when Nemuri tossed herself on his lap and Hizashi took over herding Shouta away from the strange little interrogation they had going on.

“Now that you’re not a student anymore, we can have some fun~,” she teased, stretching and showing her figure off in a practiced, expert manner. Hitoshi was very bi, and normally having a beautiful woman on his lap was not a hardship-but it was Midnight. She had been his teacher.

“Nope,” Hitoshi decided, standing up. Nemuri yelped as she tumbled off his lap, and he barely managed to grab her and make sure she didn’t hit the floor. He very gently placed her on the chair, and made a beeline for the door.

“Hitoshi?” Shouta’s voice was concerned and a bit amused as he took in the slightly shell shocked look on his face.

“Nope,” he repeated to his mentor, and then promptly booked it out the door.

When Shouta finally managed to catch up to his student-which took long enough that he was deeply impressed-Hitoshi told him, “I’m never meeting up with all three of them together again. One of them I could handle, maybe even two. But all three? Never again.”

[kiwi-the-first]

The Best Lover In The Parsec

Oneshot

Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Fandom: Star Wars/The Mandalorian

CW: Fluff oh gods so much fluff, *slaps roof of the fic* this baby can fit so much yearning in it! Salt bae angst action, guest appearance of one(1) line of having the word "making love" and including one corny joke.

TW: mention of near death experience,self loathing,body image issues,canon-typical violence.

A/N: I keep mentioning it, this is my first piece of fanfiction writing. So I really really hope you guys like it. I am scared shitless. Never thought I'd ever write this but 2020 said fuck it you're writing fanfics now. Special thanks all of my writer friends for encouraging,helping and inspiring me everyday into making this happen. Iysm!

Enjoy!

- Kiwi

Masterlist

You.

He didn't know what to do with you.

He couldn't explain what you made him feel.

He couldn't explain how you made him feel.

But he knew the answers, he knew the words to describe it. He knew the scent of you and the dreamy sigh that escapes him everytime,he enters the fresher after your shower. 

He knew the sound of your voice and how it soothes his longing soul and fills in for the silence of the crest, or "home" as you liked to call it.

How he instantly melted after hearing you speak his name for the first time.

You knew it was sacred due to his creed but he had insisted that he trusted you well enough to tell you.

“Din Djarin?” you asked and he nodded. 

“What a beautiful name” you smiled.

He breathing hitched and swore to the Mythosaur he never saw anything as pure as that. Well maybe the kid but he was your foundling so of course.

You two are the most precious purposes to him.

Your eyes, so beautiful that he couldn't stop looking at them, a colour picked by nature itself and poured in by artists. Filled with a cacophony of emotions he willingly drowned into.

He knew the curves and nicks of your body.

You trusted him,let him be near you and patch you up when needed. He knows your loathing regarding it,knows the borderline ambiguity and acceptance you have towards loving yourself.

He knows how you confine yourself in the mere image of a fighter.

He knows it well because he does it too. Still he thinks that you manage to be kinder than he could ever be.

You. He keeps falling for you. Deeper and deeper in an infinite pit of ecstasy that most would call love. 

You're all on his mind lately. Still he doesn't know what to do.

--

He knew your actions.

He knew how you fight, how you patch him up,how you show your affection in silent gestures. Ways you cradle the kid and play little games with him but also scold him when it’s needed. The way his chest tightens with that one particular feeling, seeing the two of you like that.

The three of you are safe,laughing just enjoying each other’s presence and looking like a perfect family,an aliit.

Everytime he associates the word with you two he feels a wave of calmness crash over him.

But he’d be lying if it also didn’t make him want to be disintegrated by his own pulse rifle. It was too much how you constantly took care of the two of them.

How you silently admire him when you think he's looking at the stars. When in reality he's looking at you.

He’s always looking at you, looking out for you two.

But do you feel it too? He doesn't have the courage to ask.

He never did. He'd die a thousand different deaths as a coward than be left alone without you beside him.

Your soul, the purest most perfect thing to him deserves someone better. That is what he constantly told himself.

He never intended to be vulnerable with a stranger yet there you were and here he was. But only you weren't a stranger,not anymore. 

If he hadn't known any better he would go as far as calling you his soulmate. Silly it may seem.

A big,bad Mandalorian bounty hunter believing in soulmates, but it was the truth.

You're the one holding his heart. But still he doesn't know what to do.

--

But then it changed, years of travelling together and months on the run raising the little green bean whom you both love and protect with your entirety. Maybe this was where it all ended.

He has been in bad situations before, true. But death was something he never thought he'd have to possibly greet in front of you.

 He first noticed your eyes, all the other emotions were set aside as they made room for fear and hopelessness of losing him. Your pretty lips that he always craved to kiss were trembling as you held him close to you.

One hand holding his as tightly as possible while the other cradled under his neck.

He knew he should've told you, he wanted to, desperately. But surely, he couldn't do it now...right? You didn't deserve a last moment declaration of love but lose said lover and live in vain for the rest of your life.

But the maker played him again. Surprise!surprise! He didn’t die.

After the chaos and dangers were all done, the three of you left Nevarro, and the crest jumped into hyperspace he started to prepare himself.

You barely spoke to him as you were down in the hull with the kid.

After you tucked in the kid in the sleeping compartment and came to the cockpit to sit down he started preparing.

He didn't know how much time had passed but he was still silent and...well he scoffed at himself, still ‘’preparing’’.

But suddenly you got up from your seat, fumbling a little, clearly trying to say something.

"I need to talk to you" his entire body froze. 

Whatever it was, it scared him. He felt nauseous all of a sudden.

"...about today". 

Oh, his anxiety got the best of him. He was always the rusher and in the moment of weakness he couldn't control himself.

"Mando I think you shou-"

"I'm in love with you" he felt his voice slightly crack.

--

You blinked once,twice, mouth slightly agape. Tears started pooling in your eyes…

Shit shit shit shit it wasn't supposed to happen like this!!!

You were probably telling him how you'd much rather be without him and be safe far away from him and he fucked it all up.

Again he was gonna ruin something because he had no self restraint.

He was confused when you lurched your body to his chest, hugged him tightly and started sobbing.

Was this normal? When a person wants to leave you they don't do thi-

He heard your shaky voice let out a breath and then a

"I love you too" 

Huh?

Oh- 

OH!

He could faint right now. He could die and be alive again. If someone told him to befriend a jedi right now he would. 

It took him a while to process your words,probably because of that brain injury IG informed him about, he thought to himself. 

He was irrevocably happy.

Just...happy...and sated, but he also felt like someone ran over him with a mudhorn.

You loved him. You loved him.

You loved him back.

You-

--

He looks down at you. Sleeping silently curled up against him, holding him close.

This has been like that ever since. 

Ever since you both declared that all those touches were indeed electrocuting,that all those late night heart-to-hearts weren't just conversations to pass the time,how he longed to take your hands in his. 

Or how you wanted to take off his kriffing helmet so that you could see his eyes and what they hid, or kiss his lips yet you resisted.

It’s been a while, he thinks.

Since you settled down for your happy ending...or was it a beginning? He likes to think it's a little bit of both.

It was something he'd never thought he'd have. Since you learnt that the kid’s people were gone. Since the kid truly became your own in every sense.

But frankly if he was being honest Din didn’t ever want to give him away and neither did you. Your son,your Ad’ika. You now had the privilege to call him that with the permission from The Armorer.

Since your Riduurok.

Since he was allowed to take off his helmet and finally, you finally got to let your emotions run free.

To finally see his face and hold him close. To feel his lips and his warmth. 

The memory of your tears of unsung victory and joy still elevates his heartbeat.

Since you had made love and you laughed at his messed up curls in the morning after.

"Thanks for letting me in" you kissed his knuckles and he sighed contently.

"You did too" you furrowed your brows "I-"

"Literally" he winked, "oh? waiT YOU- EWW!!!" he was laughing hard as he dodged the pillow you threw at him.

"And to think! Your'e a responsible father!"

"Make a pervy joke again and I'll murder you" you grumbled. You kept laughing in each other's arms as he held you close

He still chuckles at the memory.

Now baby didn’t mind having a stable life with his buirs either.

You sighed in your sleep. The morning lights were seeping in through the slightly opened windows.

Sunbeams slowly making their ways into the room and enveloping your bodies. 

Your eyes crinkled in your sleep and you mumbled something and cuddling closer to him, if that were possible.

The kid will be up soon too and the thought alone makes him smile.

Yet another day with the two of you.

It was a free day for both of you and between your magnificent existence and snorting at Ad’ika running around,babbling and being the cutest menace. He knew he’d survive.

He looks down at you again and he's reminded of all the things that he loves about you. 

Now including how much you also love him. He could feel your heart beat,it is the best genre of music to him.

He felt the warmth again, not from the sunlight but from his infinite loop of affection for you.

“Ner Ali’it” he called you.

He'll bask in this for as long as you'd allow him and gladly, you promised to allow him forever.

He may be the best bounty hunter in the parsec but he never tried to be the best lover.

He simply couldn't!

For that title already had an owner,

You.

----------------

TAGS: @dindjarindiaries

@spacegayofficial

@lady-of-nightmares-and-heartache

@dindjarinsleftvambrace

@mitchi-c

@the-real-xhorse

@hdlynn

@deafmandalorian

@cheesecake-madness

@duchessnibenhu-ofpyromania

@oloreaa

:)

[strawbunniiee]

A Girl and a Ghost Ch 5. Precious Rose

SOOOO this one is a bit lengthy!! there’s a bit of blood, a lil language, so fair warning! oh yeah and HEHEHE SPOILER ALERT THERE’S SOME TASTY PHANTOMEACH MWAHAHAHHAA

i had a LOT of fun writing the phantom and peach fluff hehehe ;)

dont worry!! this definitely won’t be the last chapter either, there’s still gonna be more of my cheesy fic sjfndkfd

hope you enjoy!! @salamifuposey @monsterbride99 just letting these lovely hooman beans know that this chapter exists!!

Jawaii had her arms raised, ready to slice King Boo to ribbons, but the king blasted her back into a wall.

Jawaii had the wind knocked out of her lungs as she slid to the floor.

Phantom rushed to Jawaii's side, picking up her petite body. His eyes became a deep, dark blood red as he shot a murderous glare at King Boo.

"She didn't even stand a chance." he smirked.

Phantom charged a blast of blue fire in his palm. "DIE!" he screamed, hurling it at the king with all of his might.

He had attempted to avoid it, but he wasn't fast enough. The ball engulfed him in flames as he screamed.

The king flung a fireball from his cracked crown, but due to his crown being damaged, it spiraled out of control, which hit Phantom in the process but also set the attic ablaze. He gasped and grabbed Peach's body.

Jawaii regained her breath and jumped off of Phantom.

"JAWAII, NO!"

She didn't listen, instead she ran to King Boo and aimed to tackle him. She phased right through him and onto the floor. This just made him guffaw.

"YOU IDIOT! OH, YOU MORONS JUST MAKE ME LAUGH!"

Phantom began to inhale, gathering air in his body to let out the loudest, most powerful opera scream he had ever sung.

King Boo saw this as an opportunity to take Peach back from Phantom. The ghost Rabbid glanced over at Jawaii in panic, as if begging her to do something.

Jawaii leaped up while the king was distracted and stabbed him, taking great effort to make it as painful as possible for him. It cut open his skin, creating a massive gash on the side of his face, bleeding out a strange blood-like substance, perhaps ectoplasm.

The king let out a monstrous howl as he fell over onto the floor screaming, his hands over the gash.

Then, Phantom finally let out his scream, after inhaling so much air he felt like he was about to explode. It was a force so strong, so powerful that it blew a massive hole in the attic, blowing the bleeding king far away, all the way to the swamps in Spooky Trails.

Both of their ears rung from the noise.

Peach began to slowly wake up. Phantom picked up Jawaii and burst out of the hole in the manor, taking the three of them away.

———

Peach screamed when she fully woke up.

"Wh-where am I? Who are you? ...Oh. Mr. Tom?... what happened?" the princess sputtered out, deeply confused by what was happening. "All I remember is... King Boo taking me away, and then... nothing. And... who's the little girl?"

Phantom's face turned red and his eyes widened as he shyly looked away, blushing. "Ah, w-well... Princess, it's a rather complicated st-story, you see,—"

"Phantom, why don't you and I tell her what happened together? Maybe it'll be a lot easier that way!" Jawaii chimed in cheerfully.

Phantom smiled at Jawaii. "I suppose you're quite right!"

The two happily retold Peach everything that had happened, complete with how the two became friends, their adventure in Spooky Trails, leading all the way up to them rescuing her from King Boo.

"Oh my goodness, what a story! It sounds very scary but exciting at the same time! I'm glad that you're safe and sound, though!" beamed Peach.

Phantom blushed yet again. "Oh, why thank you dear Princess! I'm quite happy you went on unscathed as well."

"Hang on a sec, you know this lady Phantom? She seems very nice!" asked Jawaii.

"O-oh, yes yes! I do know her. We're, erm, friends." Phantom said quickly.

Jawaii squinted suspiciously at him. "You seem super awkward in front of her. Do you have a crush on her or somethin'?"

Phantom's face was a bright red tomato at this point. "N-no, that's preposterous, o-of course not! Why, no male and female can be t-together without people believing that they are lovers!"

Peach giggled a bit. Jawaii grinned mischievously.

"You know, Jawaii has a point. Do you have a crush on me..?" asked Peach.

"...N-no, it's just hot out here. I act a b-bit strangely when it's scorching hot like this!" It was actually quite cold that morning, contrary to Phantom's statement. "Oh, and would you look at th-that, we're here already!"

They had made it to the silent castle in the early hours of the morning. The sun had not even come up yet, still pitch black and silent. Phantom set Peach and Jawaii down gently.

"...Thank you so much for saving me from King Boo, Tom." Peach gave Phantom a gentle kiss on the cheek. His face violently blushed as he had a look of sheer surprise on his face, his jaw hanging open. Jawaii couldn't help but snicker at the look on Phantom's face.

"I... oh my! I wasn't e-expecting that, my princess." Phantom stammered.

Peach simply just smiled. "Would you like me to get you a room to stay in for the rest of the night? You two must be very exhausted after your dangerous adventure together!"

"That would be very much appreciated!"

"Oh... Jawaii? Should I tell your parents where you are...?" asked Peach, concerned.

Oh crud, I totally FORGOT about that. thought Jawaii.

"Uhhhhh... I'm sure they're fine! I'll just come back when the sun's up!"

"All right, then. I'll be right back in just a moment!" Peach walked off.

Phantom went silent.

"Hey uh... now that she isn't here... do you actually have a crush on her?" asked Jawaii.

Phantom looked around and whispered in Jawaii's ear. "To be completely honest, yes. I do. She's the most beautiful, kind woman I have ever met... and thanks to King Boo bringing back the memories of my past life, I know that I had spent my past life attempting to get her to notice me. But it had resulted in my demise."

"First of all, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, no shit Sherlock, for a theater nerd you're a TERRIBLE liar y'know." she teased lightheartedly. "Second of all, ouch... that really sucks. But hey! In this life you befriended her!"

Phantom sighed. "I wish so dearly that we could be together. I tried so hard in my past life, I sacrificed so much to get her to notice me... but that red capped demon had gotten in the way countless times. And worst of all... he and Peach are together."

Phantom began to softly sob, his hands over his face in despair. Jawaii slowly walked over and gave him a hug.

"Aw... I'm so sorry about that... But my mom says it's not good to bottle up emotions. Maybe you should tell her how you feel..?" she suggested.

Phantom just stared in silence for a few moments before he finally responded. "...Perhaps."

"Maybe I could help you with it!"

"...No, i-it's best for me to simply just... tell her. I've known her for quite a while now, but I've mostly been too nervous to do as much as speak to her."

Jawaii hugged him again, even tighter than the last time. "I'm here for you, best friend." she smiled.

Phantom hugged back. "...Thank you, Jawaii."

After a few minutes, Peach came back in to tell them that their room was ready.

"Sorry about the wait! We had a few issues... come on in, it's much comfier in here than it is out there. It's so cold out." she said.

"Oh! You're all right, Princess."

Peach escorted the two into the castle and into their room. Just like outside, the castle was very dark. It had little to no light other than the light of the stars and moon softly shining through the windows.

When they arrived, Peach opened the door. The room was very tidy and had very expensive looking furnishings, and two extremely fluffy beds with plentiful amounts of pillows and blankets. Jawaii gasped and immediately began to jump on the bed. Phantom and Peach laughed a bit at Jawaii's antics.

"Well, sweet dreams you two. You both deserve it after the adventure you've had tonight! And thank you both again for saving me... that was such a terrifying experience. No matter how many times I get kidnapped, it's always so scary."

She smiled and blew them both kisses. Phantom blushed.

"Ah... you're welcome, Peach. Bonne nuit."

Peach smiled and closed the door. She went back off to bed happily.

"What the shit did you say to her? Bun... bon-nue. What?" Jawaii asked, deeply confused.

Phantom quietly chuckled. "Bonne nuit. It's French for good night."

"The heck's a French?"

"Heh heh. Perhaps I shouldn't be laughing, for you're an alien child. You don't know everything about Earth and that's understandable!"

"No, it's okay. I like to make people laugh. 'Cuz it means I made them happy!" replied Jawaii.

Phantom smiled at Jawaii once more. "We should get some rest, my child. We've had a very long day. Bonne nuit, Jawaii." He laughed a bit at his own joke.

Jawaii smiled. "Nighty night, Phantom." She yawned and stretched and sprawled out on her bed, quickly falling asleep within a matter of minutes.

Phantom, however, lay awake in his bed, thinking about what Jawaii had told him to do. He tossed and turned, pondering his decision. His heart throbbed, wondering what would happen.

Then, he decided.

He was going to tell her tonight. He had figured that he may as well get it over with now.

He nervously got out of bed and quietly phased through the walls to get to Peach's bedroom, where she had still laid awake. She was slightly startled by Phantom seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Oh! Tom? Is there... something you need?" she asked

"Well... there is something I must tell you. I've hidden it from you for so long... because I was afraid of being rejected, I suppose." he admitted.

"Oh... Well, what is it?"

"I know that you are already taken... b-but..." Phantom covered his blushing face with his hands, and forced himself to finally choke out the words.

"I l-love you."

He knew that this was the end. She was going to kick him out of her castle... or far worse.

But her response shocked him down to his very gramophone.

"Well... if I'm completely honest, I have feelings for you too. That peck on the cheek earlier... was something I've wanted to do for a long time." she smiled and looked away a bit.

Phantom stared dumbfounded at her. He couldn't believe it. "B-b-but, you— and M-Mario—" he stammered.

"Oh, that's just a rumor that goes around... everybody seems to think that! He's still a very close friend of mine, and I'm so glad he's saved me so many times."

"Erm... speaking of that... King Boo told me something about myself that not even I had known. I... I was a human once. I wanted so badly for you to notice me... each time you were kidnapped, I always attempted to save you... but my attempts were futile, for Mario always saved you before I ever could. But one day, King Boo trapped you in a painting... and for the first time, I had arrived in time to save you. Unfortunately, he had killed me and sealed my soul inside a gramophone. I had forgotten about this previous life... until he had told me. Then all of the memories rushed inside me. Saving you had felt... like I had finally fulfilled my goal." he explained.

"...Actually... now that I think of it, I do remember a handsome young man who had clothes not different than yours who had come to save me from him. I remember his beautiful deep voice... with that accent... it was your voice! Your voice was always so familiar to me...but I could never figure out where I heard it."

Phantom's face turned red from the complements. "P-princess, please stop flattering me..."

She giggled. "You haven't become any less handsome than you were as a human, you know."

Before Phantom could respond, she kissed him again. This time, on the lips.

The two kissed under the pale morning moonlight shimmering down into the room.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Welcome to Backwater ch.17 (spicyhoney)

Summary:  Look, getting into the woods wasn't the difficult part and neither was getting out. Dealing with the aftermath? Yeah, let's do that.

~~*~~

Read ‘Law and Order’ on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

When Stretch woke up the next day, he hardly felt like he’d slept at all, every bone in his body aching and the inside of his skull felt like a dull and muzzy gray.

No surprise there, not really, he hadn’t exactly snoozed peacefully. Probably would’ve been more concerned if he’d had; somehow, having troublesome nightmares after almost getting eaten by horrifying eldritch beings seemed like the healthier option than sleeping like a baby. A few mental scars after something like that seemed more than reasonable.

Wasn’t time for a trip to a head shrinker right now, though, he had a job to do and he was gonna do it. So he put the mental brakes on dealing with everything that happened the day before--

(and holy shit, so much happened, how did he even start processing all this shit, how--)

--and crawled out of bed. He pulled on his last pair of clean clothes, made a mental note to beg Red for the use of his washing machine, and stumbled downstairs to open the shop with the dog at his heels.

Stretch winced away from the bright morning sunshine that streamed in when he pulled the cord to raise the shades, wishing deeply for a cup of coffee, even one of his brother’s that always managed to taste sort of like dirt and rancid tree bark had a coffee bean baby.

Red had a coffee maker in the kitchen, but he didn’t want to risk waking him up sneaking into his apartment. He told himself it wasn’t because of last night’s unintentional adventure, nope, he definitely wasn’t trying to keep from talking about it with Red as long as possible. A long, furious chat about meeting Miss Bone Cruncher U.S.A. and Smaug's undead cousin were the last thing he wanted right now.

Maybe he could head back over to Miss Maggie’s this afternoon and see if she had a cheap coffee maker he could keep behind the counter. Had to be at least one old Mr. Coffee buried in all that junk. But something about going back into the thrift shop made him uneasy and he shook it away, focusing on getting the store opened up.

Mutt was underfoot the entire time, nearly tripping him more than once, and maybe Stretch should have rethought taking in this dog because it was starting to look like it brought a daily murder attempt along with him like a special toy surprise. Snagging a can of dog food from the shelf and dumping it into the plastic bowl Red scrounged from somewhere was less about providing a nutritious meal and more self-defense. Once Mutt was fed and snoozing, though, it was easier to get into the swing of things.

Stretch was buried in the inventory book, contemplating whether to merge the ‘monthly crotch rags’ and ‘cooter plugs’ into one listing to make them slightly easier to find, when the bell ringing over the door made him look up. His greeting faltered when he saw the Sheriff stalk in. Hat nearly brushing the top of the door, still wearing those mirrored aviator sunglasses, and his heavy cowboy boots clomping on the wooden floor as he came directly to the front counter and propped both ham-sized fists on his broad hips.

“Morning!” Buford boomed out cheerfully. A greeting that bright didn’t make it seem like he was here in an official capacity, hey, guess even the fuzz needed to buy toilet paper. It still took a minute for the knee-jerk dread at the sight of that uniform that settled in Stretch’s non-existent stomach to fade.

Buford wasn’t like the cops back in Ebott, Stretch told himself, this was Backwater. If the town was a little weird and had ghosts and sentient scarecrows, plus kept horrible creatures out in the woods with plagues dripping from the needle-sharp teeth they used to eat the souls of the unwary, then at least the Humans here were generally very nice.

Besides, if Buford were meanspirited today, he could always tattle to Granny Collemore when she came in for her next toilet paper run.

Stretch swallowed hard and tried a couple words before finally managing a simple, “morning.”

From Buford’s broad grin, a person would have thought Stretch offered some philosophizing to rival Socrates. “Morning, yes, it is at that.”

Stretch nodded. His relief at that smile made him weak, his skull bobbling unsteadily on his cervical vertebrae like a dashboard ornament. “can i help you find something?

“Naw, came by to see how you were doing.” Buford hitched his pants up, settling his saucer-sized belt buckle under the soft push of his belly. Reflected in the mirror of his sunglasses was the space behind the counter, Stretch and the register and the small row of cleaning supplies, distorted like the other side of the looking glass and he did not want to be thinking about other Universes right now. "Saw ya had a little trouble out in the woods.”

Stretch faltered, briefly speechless. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth, too dry as he fumbled out, “wha…how did you…?”

"Eh, a lawman’s gotta know what's going on in his town,” Buford leaned down and poked through one of the little wooden half-barrels filled with penny candy that lined the front of the counter. He picked one of the sour balls, unwrapping the shiny green foil and popping the small candy into his mouth to tuck into the round of his cheek. “Sent a little help your way when I saw what was going on, glad to see he got there in time." Buford shook his head sadly, “Nasty things out there in the woods this time of year and that’s the truth.”

“he…he did,” Stretch said, helplessly. No point in lying about it, but how could Buford possibly know? And he’d sent that strange bone dragon creature to help him, but how could he have sent a warning? The idea of that skeletal creature fumbling with a cell phone in its claws was nearly ridiculous enough to pry a hysterical giggle from Stretch’s clotted throat. Were there cameras in the woods, was the creature summoned from a portal in Buford’s basement? So many hows and wheres and whys, there were questions piling on top of questions, cluttering up Stretch’s already overstuffed mind, but only one managed to bubble through to the tarry surface. More demanding than he’d meant, Stretch asked, “how did you know?”

Buford stood up straight, broad shoulders squaring. The change in posture seemed to bring on a transformation, from a Rosco P. Coltrane to a more of a Rick Grimes. From the top of his hat to the golden star on his chest, and his perfectly ironed uniform leant him an aura of competence. It still put him as shorter than Stretch, but somehow made him bigger than life. There was no bumbling, jovial small-town sheriff here, this was a lawman, and there wasn’t so much as a hint of a smile as he said, "I see everything, son." And tipped down those mirrored sunglasses.

In the eyes that lay beneath them were pupil-less, the sockets filled with orbs that were the milky-white of severe cataracts, crisscrossed with thin, fleshy threads like cobwebs.

Stretch barely had time to register what he was seeing before Buford settled his sunglasses back in place. He swallowed hard against the dryness in his throat, strange thoughts of demons and bargains with the devil like their own trash tornado in the back of his mind. "are you…here for something, then?"

Buford only chuckled and the sour ball clacked against his teeth as he rolled it to the other side of his mouth. "Just to check on ya. You might be a city boy, but I’ve taken a liking to you, son, and I ain’t the only one. People in Backwater take care of our own.” There was a strange solemnness to those words, almost a pact, then Buford’s mouth quirked up on one side beneath his bushy mustache. “Though I might as well help myself to a Pepsi-Cola while I'm here." He leaned in, conspiratorially, and it was easier than Stretch thought it might be to keep himself from leaning away. Buford smelled faintly of cherries and tobacco, and his teeth were a clean, even white. "Don't tell the missus, she don't like me having too much caffeine."

Stretch nodded and said in his own whisper, "tell her what?"

Buford roared a laugh and grabbed his hat to slap it against his knee, hooting out, "That's the spirit!” He settled his hat back on his mussed hair and took a soda from the cooler, tossing a buck on the counter as he called back, “Take care, son."

“i will,” Stretch said, softly, but it was only for the tinkling bell above the door as Buford strolled back out.

He was still standing at the counter, the dog snoozing at his feet, fidgeting with the pen on the counter and not writing a single damn thing when the door opened again. Stretch could only stare back at the intense crimson eye lights that latched onto his own as Edge walked through the front door and for once, those gorgeous hips were the furthest thing from his mind.

tbc

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Are you going to finish the Tiny Virgil AU? Cause the last chapter ended on a cliffhanger. If you don't feel like finishing the whole thing, you could maybe give us bullet points of what was supposed to happen?

Ahaha whoops, I kinda forgot that fic. at the rate I'm going, it'll take like ten years for that or any of my other fics to get finished. Tbh, I actually have a whole outline for that one? Acantha (@theeternalspace) and I brainstormed the rest ages ago and then I took our thoughts and bullet-outlined it out.

The thing is? Like, emotionally I want to hold onto my thoughts and finish it, but if I am to be completely honest, realistically it probably won't happen. Because I wanna prioritize Gibbous over it and all.

so tldr: I'd like to write more installments, but in the case I never finish it and/or you don't care about spoilers, check the read more for what happens.

warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, morally grey sides (all sides are present so beware idk its been awhile im not up to date with how the fandom handles this sorta thing)

Chapter 5

Anx cant believe he forgot about Thomas!

He was so caught up in Creativity wanting to play with him, he's forgotten about his whole purpose

He goes to the real world, worried about all the things that could've befallen his host without his guidance

Anx is confused to be faced with adult Morality and another...side?

"Thomas?"

Thomas is big, Anx is not

This can't be real, can it? How can he protect Thomas like this?

Roman shows up, but the damage is dealt (Ro and Pat converse a bit)

Virge starts panicking and panics even more when he sees Thomas affected by it

Ro & Pat try to comfort Virge but no use

It's Thomas who gets to him. Who is...helping? Why?

"Wh-why are you so nice? I'm bad, I hurt you--I do bad things."

Thomas looks sad at that. He tries to explaining that he doesnt think Virge is bad, he can be good

Virge doesnt really understand but at the same time...Thomas loves him??

Thomas offers him a hug and he accepts it. Still so confused but at least his host loves him.

Chapter 6

Virgil ends up tuckered up in Thomas' arms

"Crying is exhausting, don't like it" He complains to Roman.

"I know. You've been very brave, little prince."

It's not that late but Thomas seems nervous. "I should go to bed." (Basically feels like if he doesnt adhere to his childhood bedtime, he'll get in trouble aka lil Virgil's influence)

Patton asks if he'd like for him to accompany him and Thomas nods

Roman and Virgil end up back in the mindscape with Patton promising to follow soon after

Roman tucks him into bed

Patton comes back, looking tired, and both Roman and Patton agree to talk with Logan in the morning about things

in the morning with Virgil still asleep, Lo, Pat and Ro talk briefly

Logan shares some theories (Age regression maybe?)

Patton tells them what's up with Thomas

Roman decides to bother the Dark Sides. "If this happened before in the past, they would know, wouldn't they? And if they're behind it this time then I can get them to stop it"

They decide to have Patton look out for Thomas again and for Logan to watch over Virgil while Roman ventures out to the Dark Sides

Chapter 7

Logan mulls over what is happening

Grateful that Thomas is going to bed early at least

He is not worried, he is Logic

Tries focusing hard on his book

Virgil wakes up, disappointed to see Logan and not Roman

Roman ventures through the dark mindscape

infodump detail on how it differs vs. the regular mindscape, quiet, silence nobody is around

"HELLO" Roman screams as his brother pops up

"What do I owe brother dear for this visit?"

Virgil is worried about Roman, but Logan placates him a bit

The two end up doing a puzzle

During which Virgil randomly hugs Logan

When Logan asks why, Virgil explains "You're scared. Hugs make me feel less scared"

Logan thanks him for the sentiment but insists he is not scared

"You're scared, I can feel it. It's okay, I get scared lots of times so you don't have to." Virgil says

And then Logan's fear dissipates

He stares at Virgil, shocked, because did tiny virge take his fear away??

And if so, if tiny virge knows how to do this, has adult Virgil been doing it without them knowing??

Chapter 8

"I know you did it" Roman growls. It makes sense really. Remus did random things for sh*t and giggles

Remus blinked "Oh! You found out about ____, didn't you?"

"What no!" Roman says, disgusted. "I'm talking about Virgil."

"Wait, you think I did it with Virgil? Mr. Emo?"

"NO!" Roman snaps. "Stop playing dumb!"

The two have a scuffle, ending up with Remus having a sword at Ro's throat (who is stuck in green goop)

"I really don't know what you mean." Remus says, "What is it exactly do you think I did again?"

Logic must hate him, Anx thinks, otherwise why would he be looking strangely at him?

but its okay, even if it really really really hurts, Anx has done it before and would do it again to keep from any of them feeling pain

He asks if Anx took his fear away and he nods

surely this must be a happy thing but Logic seems even more upset

the fear grappling tiny virge is foreign. It's so different than fears he's taken before. He finds himself drowning in it. he doesnt quite understand most of it. But there's fears about himself, Logic being scared for him, not of him. (basically oh boy adult fears are much harder to process for a child Anxiety)

Logic grips his hand and asks for his fears back

"I can't" Tiny Virge says, shaking like a leaf

Logan asks it again. Virge shakes his head "I can't, I--I don't know how!"

He really doesnt know how. Usually he just holds it all in until it explodes.

Logic echoes some of what the fear is telling him, that Logic cares for him. And weirdly, it means a lot for him to hear that Logic actually cares.

But noooo he must only care because of Thomas, right?

Anyways this is resolved somehow idk lmao and then Logan is called to help with Thomas

Virgil promises Lo he'll be okay, not wanting to stop him from being able to help their host

Logan promises he'll back momentarily

Virgil squeezes Zola and tries his best to stay calm

Previously on Rem and Ro

Roman spills the beans on whats up

Deadbeat silence

Remus then babbles about how he has no clue what Roman is talking about, but is super intrigued and wants to check this out for himself

He sinks out as Roman grabs onto his ankle, but isn't enough to stop him from sinking out.

Chapter 9

"Hiya!"

Little Anx squeaks, shadows gathering at his feet, ready to strike at....

A Green-Dressed Creativity? He dresses fancily like him.

"Princey?"

Green laughs. "No, I'm The Duke! Princey's my brother!"

And Lil Virge is kinda confused but rolls with it because Creativity pretending to be someone else/splitting himself into two is a very Creativity thing to do and isn't too worried about it.

Roman shows up, fuming

However, because of Virgil, he has to play nice

They end up having a pretend tea party

Roman finds himself shocked that Remus is decent with kids? Or at least a Kid Anxiety??

He still says outrageous things but Virge giggles at them (Basically kids really have no baseline for moral right-or-wrong, they find talk of murder funny)

Roman feels a bit guilty/regretful realizing he never played much with Remus growing up

Eventually, Logan pops up slightly frazzled

He's relieved to see the twins there looking after Virgil

Explains the situation w/ Thomas to Roman while Remus and Virgil play

Patton pops up, looking slightly weary, leading Roman and Logan to insist he take a day off from watching Thomas

Upon seeing Logan & Patton, Virgil runs up to hug Logan, but shies away from Patton

Patton tries to hide his disappointment about this

Remus tries to leave upon seeing Lo and Pat are here

but Virge clings to him, insisting he stays

The Others agree, and Remus perks up a bit.

Somewhere, there's a discussion about Virge again, late at night?

Logan reveals Virgil taking fears from him

At some point it's decided to leave Janus out of it as it's unknown how little Virge would react to him and the fact that Janus most likely knows what's up and has chosen to stay out of it

It's decided that Remus and Roman will traverse the Imagination to see if there's a solution there

Logan will be with Thomas

Meanwhile Patton will look after Virgil

Chapter 10

Patton's POV

Little Virge is upset about both Remus and Roman leaving

they try to placate him but it does little. (Telling him how they'll stay safe and they don't want him going because they want to keep him safe)

Patton's heart breaks but he has to holds back Virge.

Eventually the two have heart-to-heart

Apparently the two had a classic childhood spat, that means a lot to Virge even tho poor Pat doesnt remember the spat at all.

Pat tells them they're the best of friends now, even shows him evidence

Virge feels a little better

Sees a snake stuffy in Pat's room, asks about Dee

Patton deflects

The two end up making cookies together

The Imagination is a bust, although the twins return squabbling in a good mood

And Remus has a "present" for Virgil, who delights in it.

They chat, when suddenly Virgil screams

Chapter 11

Virgil's POV

He's been trying his best to stay calm, to hold back the anxiety gained from Logan and also the other fears swelling inside of him

But it's too much, and push comes to shove. A burning sensation occurs

And it explodes

He has a panic attack and realizes it extends into the real world

Overwhelmed and upset, he runs off.

He runs off to his hideaway and sits there

Getting bombarded with fears

He's there for what feels like hours when--

"Oh my dear Anxiety" A crooning, unfamiliar yet familiar voice says

Virgil looks, surprised, to see Deceit!! There's a lot more scales and he's wearing a funny outfit but it's him

He is happy to see him albeit sobbing into his capelet because of what happened.

Dee holds onto him going, “Shhhh everything’s alright. Shhh it’s not your fault. It’s my fault, I’m sorry—“ and Virgil interrupts shrieking it can’t be his fault, because in his mind Dee would never do anything bad and it hurts Dee to know that young Virge has so much faith in him.

"You'll hate me" But Little Virge refuses to accept that. "You're lying, you don't mean that"

"Okay, you caught me. "We stay best friends forever" OR something along those lines

Dee convinces him to bring back to the others, that they don't hate him

When they return, the others "freaking out" is a mild understatement.

Dee slowly produces tiny Virge out of his capelet.

Hisses at them to keep their distance because crowding Virge will only freak him out

Apologies and misunderstandings are made clear

Thomas summons all of them and they all have a sleepover

Virgil falls asleep snuggled between Remus and Dee

Chapter 12

Maybe Roman's POV?

Along with Thomas, they have a discussion

Dee waits a bit, before revealing that he's behind the reason for Virge's current state.

As his role Deceit, he has access to both truth and lies. One lie is that Virgil believes his kid self died and is no longer a part of him--attempting to actively repress those memories

He then points out the childish aspects of each side's function. (Maybe Logan input something about growing up and stuff)

P: "But why would Virgil think this?" J: "oh gee, I wonder why. It isn't like he was made to feel like an outcast from a very young age or anything"

Instant Guilt for all

Anyways Dee explains some mishap occurred, thus reverting Virgil back to this state

You get the sense Janus isn't telling the whole truth.

Janus says he has a way to fix things, and that's when there's a noise

"Anx?"

Virge is there, standing incredibly still, slightly heavy breathing

"Anx, it's okay, we're not upset"

Little Virge heard everything and is upset but he understands

He knows Thomas needs big him, and the others reassure him that they'll be there for him, each having a small moment with him

Then he starts glowing brightly, causing them all to be alarmed, Janus included

Chapter 13

Virgil is back and boiiiiiii is he freaked the heck out

The Others including Thomas are all there, F*CK how can he ever recover after they saw him like that?

He's both embarrassed and mortified

Not to mention it hurts to have two sets of childhood memories rattling inside his head. One that was lonely and painful, and the other that was happy but fake

He snaps at Janus and ends up fleeing in his room

He doesn't duck out

He cant do that

He just doesnt....go out. He doesn't want to hear the jokes start. He doesnt want the babying or the pitying to start.

He does his job and that is that.

(inwardly he knew this would happen, but not like this)

They try summoning him (Thomas included) but he wont come out. His door is locked.

Patton slips a note under the door but Virge refuses to look at it.

Blares MCR

Somehow Zola appears in his room, and he'd like to tear it apart or something, but he can't help but squeeze the stuffed bat tight and cry for the childhood that never was.

A week passes, and there's a very sad prince at his door

Virgil ends up letting him in because look, he's not a monster

it's very...awkward at first

but they eventually have a heart-to-heart and some snarky banter

and Virgil is very confused when Princey feels the need to apologize to him

They also discuss Janus and Virgil very reluctantly agrees to talk to him

Virgil ends up talking with Janus over tea

Janus doesn't really look at him, staring at his teacup as he explains himself

and dammit, Janus has hurt him (but then again so has Virgil hurt Janus)

But a part of him really misses him. A part of him that has always missed him.

Janus explains he just wanted to know where he went wrong in their friendship, that he went the round-about way because knew Virgil wouldn't talk to him but messed with things he shouldnt and accidentally caused Virgil to revert to the age before their friendship started fraying by accident.

He admits that he almost wanted to leave Virgil that age, to take advantage of it as a way to start again, but ultimately couldnt let himself take advantage of virgil in that way

He also apologizes, telling Virgil "Showing weakness isn't bad. I told you once that you had to stay strong and not let anyone see it, but I was wrong" and that he understands if Virgil doesnt accept his apology right away or if ever

And Virgil doesnt completely accept, not yet, but he's willing to try

It ends happily with them going down to dinner with the others. (possibly Virgil having moments with the others??)

the end

BONUS, Written Scene from Chapter 11 w/ Virge's and Janus's reunion because I was self-indulgent and wrote ahead

“Oh my dear Anxiety,” A silky voice croons, so achingly familiar.

He sniffles, raising his head to meet eyes with the much older face of his best friend; Deceit. It has to be, there is no other side whose left side of face is reptilian in nature. He’s crouching beside Virgil, only one set of arms present at the moment. He’s wearing a funny outfit, but then Deceit has always dressed funny, just like Creativity. Neither of them have ever been worried about standing out.

“Dee!” Anxiety cries out, all but flinging himself onto the older side. The velocity of it flattens the two onto the ground, with Deceit letting a small grunt from the impact. He’d be more worried about possibly hurting Deceit if he wasn’t too busy bawling his eyes out into the strange cape Deceit is wearing.

Deceit strokes his hair, so soft and gentle. Then two sets of arms hoist Anxiety upwards, settling him onto Deceit’s lap. Deceit hugs Anxiety, cocooning him in a warm embrace. For a moment, everything feels normal again. As if they’re all kids still and Anxiety had sought Deceit for comfort after a bad nightmare.

Then Deceit speaks, saying words meant to be comforting. They are comforting at first, until Deceit says things that don’t make sense. And Anxiety knows Deceit is a liar, that he says things that aren’t true. But he knows when Deceit isn’t lying. They’re best friends after all.

“Shhh, it’ll be alright. Shhh, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I hurt you and I’m--”

“No!”

“No?” Deceit repeats.

“No, it--it--you didn’t do anything bad, you wouldn’t!” Anxiety says, nearly shrieking, “You’d never, ever, hurt me. We’re best friends and best friends don’t do that.”

A strange, choking noise erupts from Deceit. Anxiety looks to see Deceit’s human eye glistening. His best friend’s lips quiver, like Anxiety gets when he gets too scared to speak. Except Deceit is never scared. He always knows what to say in a situation, confident in ways Anxiety could never be.

“Oh, I’ve forgotten what you were like at this age,” Deceit whispers, so low that Anxiety thinks he wasn’t meant to hear it. Then Deceit shakes his head, a weird laugh escaping him. “You’re going to hate me, Anx. Or rather, you’re going to hate me more after this is all over.”

“You’re lying,” Anxiety accuses, his fingers tightening around the fabric of Deceit’s cloak, “You don’t mean that. I love you, Dee, you’re my best friend and--and...Big Me is still best friends with you, right?!”

Deceit inhales sharply, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Before Anxiety can even grow concerned for his well being, he breaths out a long dramatic sigh.

He rolls his eyes, smirking, “Alright, you caught me.”

“I did?”

“Yes. I was only lying to scare you out of crying,” Deceit assures him, “I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking we weren’t best friends still. Of course we are.”

“G-good,” Anxiety huffs, “don’t scare me like that, Dee, I don’t like it!”

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Deceit says, his smirk fading a bit as he takes on a somber expression, “it still isn’t your fault for what happened, Virg--Anxiety. Neither I or any of the others think it is. They certainly despise you for it.”

“Despise?” Anxiety’s heart jumps a bit, “Oh! You mean...you’re saying...they don’t despise me?”

“I don’t know,” Deceit raises an eyebrow, “Why don’t you try reaching out? See what their fears tell you.”

Anxiety closes his eyes, sticking his tongue out in concentration. If he thinks super hard, he can envision everyone's fears like spider webs, branching all over the mindscape, interconnected in some ways and in others, completely disconnected in each side's little corner.

And he is the itsy bitsy spider, that scuttles about and maintains the webs to some degree. Because a little bit of fear is good, it helps keep Thomas alive. So he traces the webs and searching for what Dee suggested. There is one thread present, in every nook and cranny of the web, he searches, even in the splinter-offs. One fear that repeats and loops through the whole network that he has never seen before.

"Oh." Anxiety breathes, eyes widening. They're not afraid of him. They're afraid for him, worried about his safety and wellbeing. Anxiety doesn't know what to think of that.

[nah-she-didnt]

“What the frick frack tickity tic tac snick snac bro?”

I’ve been saying this a lot recently and I’d very much like to see this in one of your fics.

Happy writing!

Hello lady! Thanks for the prompt!! This was fun 

Send me more prompts here

--

The Bet

The bet had started out easily enough.

“I don’t curse that much anyway,” declared Sirius as he shoveled bacon into his mouth with the voracity that only a growing 16-year-old boy can possess.

“Yes you do,” Remus rolled his eyes, “remember the time Flitwick gave you a week’s worth of lines because you said you’d let Bowie, and I quote, ‘fuck me into next week’?”

Sirius smirked. “Yeah. Well. Not my fault he’s a prude, is it?” 

James clapped Sirius on the back. “You, my friend, are a connoisseur of curse words. You work in dirty words the way some artists work in oils or plaster. That’s how I know that I am guaranteed victory in this bet.” 

“What’s the prize?” asked Peter excitedly. He loved watching his friends in competition with one another, even if he often refused to participate himself. 

“Loser has to buy the winner’s ticket to the Puddlemere game over Easter break,” James said easily, “and while we all know I love to treat my friends to a good quidditch game, I’m afraid this time it’s personal.” 

Sirius scoffed at these words. “What, just because I said you could never do it?” 

James slammed his hand down on the table dramatically. “Yes! That’s exactly why. But I’ll show you, you cheeky bastard, that I am perfectly capable of-” 

“Of what?” 

Distracted by his own passionate defense, James failed to notice that Lily had slid into the seat next to his. She looked particularly nice today, her newly-cut bangs framed her distracting green eyes in a way that usually made his heart skip a beat. Today, the sight of her made him want to jump into the Black Lake. 

“Nothing, Evans,” he said dully, forcing himself not to look directly at her, “just guy stuff.” 

Lily arched a perfectly-shaped eyebrow. “Guy stuff? Remus, what is this ‘guy stuff’ he speaks of?”

Remus looked caught. “Um,” he said, glancing hurriedly at James, “James was just saying he’s perfectly capable of kicking this nasty - uh - rash. You know, athlete stuff.” 

James stared at Remus in horror as Peter and Sirius roared with laughter. Lily laughed too, but she was tactful enough to try and hide her glee behind a facade of concern. “Ouch. Well, good luck with that, Potter,” and with that, she gathered up a few pieces of toast in a napkin and was off to class. 

James watched her go, mouth still hanging open. Then he rounded on his former friend. “What the fuck was that Lupin?” he roared. 

Remus tried to hide his mischievous grin. “Relax, mate,” he said as seriously as he could, “think about it. I’ve just helped you win the bet. I’m pretty sure Lily’s going to give you a wide berth for the next few days, giving Sirius ample opportunities to fuck up.” 

The smile disappeared from Sirius’ face. “Cheers, Moony,” he muttered grumpily.  

--

The first few days of the bet were uneventful. None of their fellow Gryffindors seemed to realize that anything was amiss. That is until Sirius accidentally missed the trick-step going down the stairs down from the second-floor corridor. 

“Aw, sh- beans,” Sirius yelled as his leg sank further and further into the step. 

James, who had the foresight to skip the step, started eagerly at Sirius’ near slip-up, but relaxed again when he heard his friend’s replacement curse. Mary, who was walking with the boys, did a double-take. 

“I’m sorry,” she said in a bemused voice, “did you just say ‘beans?’ What are you, a nun? What have you done with Sirius Black?” 

“Can’t curse,” he said through gritted teeth as James helped yank his leg out of the staircase, “Prongs and I have a bet, you see.” 

“Ah,” Mary nodded her head wisely, “so that’s why you’ve been acting weird all week.” She glanced pointedly at James. 

James tried his best to adopt a look of innocence. “How do you know the bet’s with me?”

“Just a hunch,” she smirked, “Lily mentioned that you haven’t spoken to her much this week, wondered if you were mad at her or something.” 

James’ heart sunk. “No! Mary, tell her I’m not mad, I-” 

“Tell her yourself!” Mary grinned wickedly then strode off in the direction of their next class.

--

Sirius’ fake swears got more creative after his near-miss on the trick stairs. 

“Oh sugarloaf,” he whined one night just after they’d settled in at a table in the library, “I forgot my Transfiguration textbook in the dorm.” 

Another time, he realized his Defense essay was two inches short. “Merlin’s big toe!” he yelped, hurriedly trying to cram in a few more sentences before professor Ferguson came around to collect their essays. 

A week later, his exclamations became utterly ridiculous. 

“Oi! Pettigrew! Did you just steal my chocolate frog?” he yelled across the dorm room, “What the frick frack tickity tic tac snick snack, bro?”

Remus snorted. “Excuse me?” he said incredulously, “what was that, again?”

“Oh, bite me,” Sirius huffed, and threw himself onto the bed, “I hate this stupid bet. I can’t express myself!” 

James shot Sirius a dirty look. “Oh, I’m so sorry, do you miss being the most vulgar person in this school? That must be so difficult for you. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Evans thinks I’m the world’s biggest prat after all the times I’ve run away from her in the last two weeks.” James vented his frustration by punching his pillow into a more comfortable position before lying back to sulk properly. 

Remus gave him a placating look. “The bet doesn’t stop you from talking to her, James,” he said as if James were a toddler on the brink of a tantrum, “why don’t you just say hello once in a while? That’s nice and safe.” 

James fixed Remus with his most withering stare. The last two weeks had made him grumpy beyond belief. “I can’t even look at her without you lot accusing me of cheating. And there’s no way I’m losing this bet. I’m so close to victory I can almost taste the top box seats.” 

“Fat chance,” said Sirius smugly, as he squeezed the stress ball Remus gifted him to help relieve his reflex to curse. 

--

James’ downfall came in the form of Severus Snape. 

The students were unusually silent at breakfast that morning. The Daily Prophet reported that Melanie Lensard, a Hogwarts graduate, had been murdered in her Lancaster home alongside her muggle-husband. The Aurors reported that they suspected Death Eater involvement. 

James shot a sideways glance towards Lily. She wasn’t eating but instead pushed some scrambled eggs around her plate solemnly. James couldn’t blame her. He had only forced himself to choke down food so that he wouldn’t be dead on his broom for quidditch practice. But, he supposed, he couldn’t possibly know how she felt right now. 

Sirius stared wanly down at his copy of The Prophet. “Today would be a great day for cursing,” he said in a half-hearted attempt at humor. 

Remus patted him on the back. “Go out and scream it into the glen. No one will hear you.” 

Sirius shook his head. “No, I’m a man of my word,” he said pompously, “no cursing until we’re through.” 

“Lily?” 

The oily voice came from somewhere behind James. He whirled around to see Snape standing a few feet away, right behind Lily. He looked nervous, which just made him appear even more sniveling than usual, and he fixed Lily with a desperate stare. 

“I wanted to know if you were… you know… doing okay.” 

Lily did not turn to face him or even meet his gaze. “And why, Snape, wouldn’t I be okay?” 

Snape flushed. “I just know you must have seen the papers.” 

Lily rounded on him, eyes blazing. “Yes, I have seen the papers. I’m sure you lot are thrilled, aren’t you?” 

Snape paled at this. “N-no,” he stammered, taking a step back, “of course I’m-” 

“But that’s just it!” she snapped. James could see her fingers itching toward the want that lay next to her fork, “there is no ‘I’ anymore with you. If you’re with them,” she pointed towards the other sixth-year Slytherins, “then it’s just ‘we.’ I won’t let you try and separate yourself from your nasty little friends. I made excuses for you for years, and I won’t do it anymore!” 

She was yelling now, and students along the Gryffindor and neighboring Hufflepuff tables had started to go quiet. 

“Lily,” said Dorcas, who laid her hand protectively across Lily’s, “leave him. He’s not worth it.” 

Lily laughed a cold, mirthless laugh. “You can say that again. Snape, you’re nothing but a spineless, weak, snot-nosed coward, and you’d best run back to your Death Eater pals before I jinx you so hard you’ll be pissing yourself for a month.”

Snape did not stick around to retort. Instead, he scurried back to his waiting comrades, doing his best to look dignified as he ran from his former friend. 

The table was silent for a moment. Lily was panting slightly. James could feel it building in him. No, he had to suppress it, he had to win the bet, he had to think of the look on Sirius’ face when he declared victory, he had to-

“Bloody hell, Evans!” It was no use. The damn had broken. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life.” 

Lily looked slightly startled at this declaration. Then, slowly, she grinned. “Glad to hear it, Potter. I aim to please, after all,” she said sarcastically. Then she sat back down to chat with her friends, looking marginally more cheerful than she had before Snape’s arrival.

James smiled softly at her as he watched her come back to life. If he had even the smallest bit to do with her change in mood, he was satisfied. 

That is until he saw the look on Sirius’ face.

“Victory is FUCKING sweet!” Sirius shouted so loud that half the table jumped. 

James put his head in his hands. “Alright, alright, you win.” 

“You’re bloody right I win, you glorious piece of shit,” Sirius leaned across the table to thump James on the back.

“I knew you couldn’t do it,” Peter shook his head as he returned to his breakfast. 

Remus laughed. “I tried to help you, James. But I guess in the end you couldn’t help yourself. It’s your primal instinct to hit on Lily Evans.” 

James sighed into his hands. As far as defeats go, this one wasn’t so bad. At least she was smiling again. 

“Right, I’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” Sirius said as he pulled a bit of parchment from his school bag, “I’ve been taking notes on all the cussing I need to do. To start with, Peter, you’re a two-faced motherfucker for stealing my chocolate frog.”

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 8)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 My Master Post

“What the fuck do you mean Virgil is missing?” Remy asked.

“That’s the second thing Logan said to me!” Emile said. “When he heard you died, he sent an agent over to check on Virgil, but there’d been signs of a break in and Virgil was gone. They don’t think he actually got kidnapped though because the car of whoever broke in was still there.”

“Well, then where the hell is my kid?!!” Remy yelled.

Emile flinched at his suddenly loud voice. “Leaping lizards Remy, I don’t know. I thought you did since you’re not actually dead.”

“Well I don’t!”

“Yeah, I’m getting that, calm down for a second.”

“Okay, right now is not a good time to tell me to calm down,” Remy said. “My kid is missing.”

“I know Remy,” Emile said in his professionally soothing voice, “but we have to think in order to do something about that.” Oh, he was thinking. He was thinking really hard right about now. He was thinking about how the person who sent someone to kidnap his son was the woman who’d just tried to have him fucking executed. God, Remy hadn’t even wanted her around his fucking kid when she’d just been a bitch and not an enemy agent out for his blood.

“We should call Logan back,” Emile suggested. “He might have more information.”

“No,” Remy said. “It’s still too risky.”

“Remy.”

“I said no, Emile,” Remy snapped. “What if she has him and intercepts the phone call. She doesn’t have any reason to hurt him right now,” other than the fact that he had quite the mouth on him and would probably piss her off by being a little shit especially if she wouldn’t tell him where Remy was, “but if she knows I’m alive she might.”

“Would she really…?”

“The woman just tried to shoot me with poisoned bullets. I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Poison bull-? It’s not important,” Emile said. “If we’re not going to get information from Logan then how are we supposed to even start with finding Virgil?”

“Easy,” Remy said. “The tracker I put on him.”

“I’m sorry you put what on Virgil?” Emile asked.

“A tracker,” Remy said. “It’s in that bracelet he always wears. I don’t really want to go back to the house, but I think I left one of the devices to find him in here in case of emergencies.” He started digging through Emile’s glove box.

“Jiminy Crickets, you can’t just put a tracker on your teenage son Remy!”

“Why not?” Remy asked, still digging through the papers. Did Emile ever get rid of old insurance cards and also how many drive-through napkins did he need to keep?

“It’s an invasion of privacy,” Emile sputtered.

Remy waved him off. “Oh, please. I’m a secret agent, a (usually) off duty one, but still a secret agent. Sometimes I need to know where my kid’s at. Like now. Besides, I told him what it was when I gave it to him, and it lights up when activated. He can just chuck it out a window if he doesn’t want me knowing where he is.”

“Oh, well that’s okay then,” Emile said.

Remy hummed as his hand closed around the phone sized device hidden at the back of the glove box. “Ah, here it is.”

“When exactly did you put that in here.”

“Like two years ago,” Remy said. “Clean your car every once in a while.”

“Remington, I have seen your garage.”

“Maybe, but I never claim to be responsible.”

The thing was out of charge, so he plugged it into the car, and it booted up pretty quickly. Emile leaned over to look at the map that popped up. Remy pushed a couple of buttons to activate the tracker.

A red dot appeared on the map and Remy blinked at it. “Where the fuck?” he asked. He pushed another button and the device beeped, finding Remy’s current location on the map and putting a green dot there. The map had to zoom out quite a bit to fit both dots on the screen. A number appeared at the top of the map. “Shit.”

“Please tell me that’s feet,” Emile groaned.

“How the hell did he manage to get 50 miles away? I’ve been ‘dead’ for less than an hour and a half!”

“Did one of Barbara’s people get to him?”

“I’m not… he’s moving in the wrong direction if that’s the case,” Remy said. “Her house is in town and the secret base I know of is north of here. He’s going south east on the interstate.” He squinted at the map.

“Well then where is he going and how is he going there?” Emile asked.

“I’m not sure, but you need to start driving.” Emile hesitated for a moment. “Now.”

He nodded and put the car in reverse before pulling out of the parking lot and turning toward the interstate.

“Hey, Emile,” Remy said pleasantly after about 2 minutes. “Remember how mother said to not speed unless it was absolutely necessary?” Emile glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “It’s absolutely necessary today.”

Emile gave him a slightly disapproving frown, but the car did speed up.

“So, what about poisoned bullets?” Emile asked.

“I’ve had a long day,” Remy said.

“Nope, no, you’re not getting away with that,” Emile said.

“We’re busy,” Remy tried.

“Assuming he continues to move in the same direction, we have over an hour car ride in front of us. So, talk.”

“You and talking,” Remy mumbled. “Why couldn’t you just be a secretive, suppressed secret agent like everyone else in our family.”

Emile shot him a glare.

“Emmmmmmmyyyyyyy,” Remy whined.

“Remington.”

“Okay… so it may have, sort of been, my idea.”

“Remy.”

“See, this is why I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Please, tell me this is not why you wanted me to watch Virgil tonight,” Emile said.

Oh, yeah… Remy winced.

“Remy, you have to at least tell me if you’re getting me and Virgil involved in this sort of thing. Or better yet, not do that. What was I supposed to do if someone had come to the door to kidnap Virgil? Which they did, by the way!”

Remy shifted in his seat. “To be fair, the plan didn’t exactly go how I expected it to. You were just a precaution in case it took too long. I didn’t expect to ‘die.’ Or at least if she was going to try to kill me I though she’d hesitate more than 0 seconds.”

Emile spared him a glare as he merged onto the interstate.

“Okay, fine, so maybe I should have,” Remy admitted, “but she was up to no good! And I know I’m supposed to still be on desk duty, but I’d heard through the grapevine about her plans and, I mean, I was in the neighborhood. How was I supposed to know she’d see right through my lie about asking for money to buy Virgil a car?”

“Maybe because you’ve never asked the woman for anything, ever, especially in relation to Virgil and Virgil hasn’t even taken drivers ed because he’s still too scared to try to drive after the golf cart incident.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever babe,” Remy brushed him off. “Anyway, we were talking, and I think she maybe got a little pissy that I wasn’t drinking the wine she gave me. It was probably poisoned now that I’m thinkin’ about it. Anyway, she must have finally gotten tired of me and pushed a button. Suddenly a bunch of guards were storming the room and, man, they were definitely the shoot first, ask question types ‘cause they immediately started shooting at me. Luckily I was wearing the light weight bullet proof vest Logan’d gotten me and I dove under her desk and, let me tell you, for how organized she is about her criminal empire and how clean the rest of the house is, she doesn’t clean much under her desk. I think it’s probably ‘cause she doesn’t let any of the maids in there to clean. Honestly, that might be where Janus gets the whole leaving snack wrappers and tissues all over the house. Because gee her desk. And-”

“Remy.”

“Right, so, there I was under her absolutely filthy desk and I look up and she’s standing there staring at me and she just takes out a gun and bang shoots at my head. Luckily it missed, but it ricocheted off her desk and ended up in my calf.”

“You were shot in the calf!”

“It’s not a big deal, I’m fine,” Remy said. “Anyway, those were the poisoned bullets.”

“You got shot with a poisoned bullet?!”

“Yeah, so, luckily it was a poison I got doused with once in Italy in my 20s and if you manage to survive it once, you’re good forever or whatevs, but like, I knew she thought it would kill me so I played dead. So, then after that, she called in Gilbert, you know Gilbert, the butler with the little trapezoid shaped beard? Yeah, so Gilbert comes in and she’s like, “get rid of his body” and he’s like “cool beans” or something to that extent. Anyway, he drags me out’a there, but the thing is Gilbert’s cool or maybe not cool because he’d totally bury my body without flinching, but he’s cool enough not to kill me himself or even run and tattle. So, I go, ‘yeah, not dead,’ and he’s like ‘Kay, but don’t tell her I knew that,’ and I’m like ‘jolly good, mate.’ Then I run off to her office (the secret one, not the one her and the armed guards are in) and steal the flashdrive. I go to get in my car, but she already ordered it to get blown up! I mean, rude, bitch! At least give my body time to cool. So, I end up hiding in the back of the catering company van that had come to get the kitchen ready for the gala she’s throwing later tonight which, I mean really, you’re serving shrimp and salmon, what type of monster are you? You do seafood and steak, not seafood and seafood. Ugh. Why did I ever have sex with her again? Anyway, I ride in the van to town and then bolt out of there before they can see me. Then, I get on a bus because I have a bus token in my wallet, but the bus driver is a bit chatty and this is a covert mission so I tell him my name is Gilbert, since Gilbert the butler was on my mind and that I am visiting my new granddaughter in the states but I’m actually from Quebec and I spoke French to prove it. I was going to get off near the one clothes shop on third, but then we drove by your office and I saw your car so I got off at the corner and picked your lock to get in your car and waited for you to come out because I thought that’d be quicker.”

“You’re doing the thing,” Emile said.

“What thing?” Remy asked flippantly.

“The thing where you use misdirection and slang to attempt to distract people from serious issues.”

Remy slunk down in his seat. “Ah, that thing.” Damn him and his stupid fancy psychology degrees.

“Is your leg okay?”

“Smarts like a bitch, but it was just a graze. I already bandaged it up and disinfected it.”

“Good,” Emile said. “Would you prefer if I yelled at you in chronological or alphabetical order.”

“I’d like to see you try out alphabetical.”

“Well,” Emile started. “First of all…”

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 9

[queen--kenobi]

oh oh oh that ask meme about your fiction- can you talk a bit about Missed Connection? 1, 11, 4, 5 & 9 - this may be a lot but i can't help it, reading that story really left me in awe at your gift

Fanfic Questions

dlkghkdgkd Before I start, I want you to know that I made an unholy screeching sound when I saw this because that’s my favorite one-shot I’ve written and I am so glad to talk about it!!!!!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I mean, I’ve been writing Triple Trouble for awhile now, and I wanted to write something with Danny in the Entity’s realm since everything I’d done at that point had been in the regular world. I also was thinking about how I wanted to end Triple Trouble at that time, and the idea of having a fic where the reader knew Danny before he went into the Fog and was pulled into it because of their connection with him was just too good.

Also, like. You can do fics where the reader gets to know a character within the Entity’s realm, but I feel like those would require so much exposition and building if you’re not going the non-con route. You feel?

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I feel like I did a really good job of showing a previous relationship before the Fog without writing it? Also, it let me explore an entirely different side of Danny. We know he’s a murderer and kills for fun, and I’ve been kind of exploring the idea of him being insanely attracted to someone but he’s also like.... as in love as he can be with this person, so he can’t kill them? And it was fun to write him where he can have his cake and eat it too since death it’s permanent!

Basically, I really like I got to explore a really sadistic side of Danny

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

fjsoghfh I have so many! I think it’s a tie between:

“Oh, you know. Wrote a letter to Santa Clause telling him I’d been really good this year.” Even though you can’t see his face through the mask, you can hear the feral grin. “What do you think?”

and 

“It hurts, I know, but I need you to take just a little bit more. Can you do that? For me?” He chuckles darkly at the end of that. “God. Your insides are prettier than I thought they’d be.”

Like I love the sarcastic demeaning Danny in the first one? But there’s something about that last one that’s just. Oof. Like in any other context that first part would be fucking hot, so that last part feels like a slap in the face, and I love it.

5: What part was hardest to write?

Honestly, the first chase sequence? Because it’s boring if it’s just a really wordy extended chase sequence, but like. If you’re playing survivor you always have a chase sequence. So I couldn’t leave that out.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yes! I mean, they all had the Mori part because that’s literally the build-up/crucial part? The whole fic wouldn’t be the same without the Mori. But I had several different endings.

The first one was basically the same, but it was going to get more sexual with the Mori jsghfdghjdj Like it was going to be full on Criminal Minds “he uses a knife because of sexual hang-ups” type deal.

The second one was more of a slightly different fic? The idea would be the same, but it’d be more like the Entity was pissed at the reader and stuck them in a trial with Danny alone. 

The third one is the one that almost happened! I think you can still see parts of it in the fic itself? It was going to be the reader comes back to the campfire and is in a shit ton of pain. Some of the survivors get what happened in there, namely Laurie and Quentin, and go to the reader and try to be like “we know how you feel. it’s fucking awful because you can’t escape your tormentor at all”. I might have had Bill spill the beans about what happened in the past, but I wasn’t sold.  But like the other survivors are going to realize that hey, the reader is still bleeding even though their outside of a trial??? So they look at the reader’s back, and just down their spine you can see this fucking nasty ass wound/scar from the Mori. Meaning that Entity basically gave Danny permission to mark the reader as his even outside of the trials

Thank you so much you have no idea how much this means to me since I’ve been wanting to scream about this fic!!!!!!!! I’ve actually been tempted to do a second part but it’d be more along the lines of another killer trying to Mori the reader, and Danny just throws a fucking FIT when he finds out

[thewayofthetrashcompactor]

Winter Holiday Prompts

I’ve been trying to find a holiday prompt list, but didn’t find any where I wanted to write most of them, so I ended up cobbling a few together and making my own. List has 50 prompts mixed from here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, plus my own additions.

Send me a prompt or an emoji + a number and I’ll do my best to write a short fic! 

🌿 Deck the Halls 🌿

What no I have no idea how mistletoe got under every doorway in our house...but since it’s there we should really honor the tradition

Yes you look like a movie star with your tinsel boa but i think it suits me better so ha

I love you but your christmas ornaments are weird, we’re not putting those on the tree

You’re gonna fall off the roof if you try hanging lights with that ladder

Yes, I know it’s a 6 foot door and this tree is at least 8 ft but i’m not asking for advice I'm asking for help

🌲 Rocking Around the Christmas Tree 🌲

Our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt

I came to my friend’s family holiday party as their fake date but have just definitely spotted my soulmate over by the green beans

I was really looking forward to this holiday party bc my crush was supposed to be here but they've just introduced me to their date

I already told you i don’t like ugly christmas sweater parties because everyone just wears one that’s vaguely cute anyways so what’s the point and wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER SEEN A SWEATER THAT UGLY WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S PART OF A MATCHING SET

🎁 All I Want for Christmas is Youuu 🎁

I got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years

I have a crush on you and we turned out to be secret santas and oh no you put a lot of effort into your gift and mine is garbage so I better make it up to you after work 

I mixed up my wrapped presents and accidentally gave you a suggestive gift but you’re into it so I’m just gonna go with it 

You asked me what I wanted for christmas and I was feeling really sarcastic so I said “a unicorn” and you actually went out and got me a stuffed unicorn

We’re in line absurdly early for black friday and both intend to buy the same item

I/MY MOM KNITTED YOU A SWEATER

🔔 Jingle Bell Rock 🔔

We’re going ice skating for the first time this year and it’s pretty obvious that you’re secretly an olympic figure skater or something how the hell are you so graceful, I can barely stand

let’s go walk around and look at all the lights and stuff

PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF

I should probably be at home sleeping off this terrible cold but there's so much to do for the holidays, no I don't need your help

The nye countdown has begun uh oh it’s my platonic bff conveniently within kissing distance

I broke my ankle slipping on ice but hey at least the ER nurse is cute

Snowman/gingerbread house/tree decorating competition aka why can’t I be less competitive

💚 You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch 💚

Yes I know it’s almost christmas no that doesn’t mean you should watch every movie with snow in it seriously i can hear you singing along to love is an open door in front of my room and this needs to stop

We’re the only people in this movie theater on christmas eve; what’s your excuse

Actor that hates christmas gets cast in hallmark movies and they really need the paycheck

It’s not yet thanksgiving you’re not allowed to play christmas music until at least december 1st 

If I hear that same terrible cover of a christmas song one more time, I’m going to stab someone

No, I’m not helping at this party willingly, what was your first clue?

How am I not the only one in the ER for getting in a fight just before Christmas

I just loudly announced that santa isn’t real and turned around and there’s an entire group of children looking like they might cry and their teacher/chaperone looks murderous but also slightly entertained

You accidentally got in the middle of my very mature snowball fight with my adult friends, pls don’t sue us

🌰 Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 🌰

I know we've never talked even though we're neighbors but my oven broke and people are coming in an hour, can I bake this in yours?

Hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa step aside i’ll handle this

Someone ate my advent chocolate for today, and when I find out who it was, they will suffer

stop eating the popcorn you little shit, i can’t make caramel popcorn balls with just caramel

I'm making christmas cookies sTOP SNEAKING IN HERE TO EAT THE DOUGH OR I’LL SMACK YOU WITH A SPOON

If you try stealing the whipped cream off of my hot chocolate again i swear i will stab you with a candy cane

Barista + person who unironically orders specialty holiday drinks that are 90000% sugar 

Food delivery person  + person who ordered food on NYE in pajamas

❄ No Place Like Home for the Holidays ❄

You're a rich asshole who only flies first class but the airline messed up and you have to bear the indignity of coach if you wanna get home by christmas and I’m very amused in the seat next to you

I know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside

We’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth

I slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket

I know it’s supposed to be romantic to be snowed in but literally all I have in my apartment is pop tarts

I'm RA-ing over the holiday and this is the 3rd time in 2 days you've been locked out of your room and i can't tell if you're trying to make a move or if your life is genuinely this out of control

There’s a storm and omg I’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas

My car broke down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and you're the only one who's answering their phone

You said you were coming over but it's been a while and you haven't shown up and the snow is getting heavy and I'm starting to panic

My flight got delayed and I'm taking selfies to send to the fam about how annoyed I am and I just realized you're photobombing all of them; can I help you?? 

Living the nyc dream is nice but it also means I can't fly back west for the holidays and I'm moody about it and literally WHOMST is playing christmas music let me sulk in peace

[dontatmethanks]

Part of your world

A leviHan Fic (mermaid AU)

AN: Ah Finally, I give you chapter 4! Sorry it took so long 😭 please enjoy!💕

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Chapter 4

Recruitment day came on Wednesday, and everyone was excited to meet kids. Hange and Petra had helped Nifa decorate the lobby in the main entrance in time for their welcome, complete with a sign that said ‘welcome recruits!” Nanaba put out name tag stickers and little goodie bags for the kids, eager to meet the new interns or servants as she liked to cal them under her breath. Much to Erwin’s displeasure.

Hange was in the middle of working Levi through his exercises. He was in the water, back against the rocks. He lifted his tail up above the water and held it there for a few seconds before dropping back down, exhaling profusely. He did this multiple times until Hange stopped him at the three minute mark. This exercise kept his tail flexible enough to make up for his missing tail fin.

“Good job, Levi.” Hange praises him and squats down next to him. He grimaces in pain slightly and sinks into the water, head tilting back and pants softly.

“Tomorrow we do weights.” She tells him and he groans and glares at her.

“Are you trying to kill me you shitty human?” He whines, eyebrows pinching, and she giggles.

“Nah just trying to help you get stronger.” Levi huffs, looking up at the parted clouds in the sky.

Hange takes a moment to examine him closer. She looks at his facial features as he stares up at the sky above him, his gaze has gone soft, almost unguarded. His steel eyes are half lidded, full fluttery lashes brush against his pale cheeks as he blinks. Thin eyebrows are relaxed, matching dark, silky looking hair flutters against his pointed ears. Hange blinks slowly, her eyes remain glued to him unable to look away.

‘He’s a very good looking specimen.’ She thinks.

What? Hange double takes.

WHAT?!

Before Hange can even comprehend what just happened, Levi swivels his head to meet her gaze and she freezes, cheeks bursting into flames. Levi raises an eyebrow at her and opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by her phone chiming from her bag. Hange praises the whatever power that was above the as she practically launches herself away from the mermyd and rummages in her bag.

It was Moblit who sent her a message that the recruits have arrived. She jumps in excitement, causing Levi to give her a weirded out look.

“Ah, Levi!” She yells at him, twirling around to look at him.

“What is it shitty glasses, you’re freaking me out.” He chides at her.

“We have some newcomers coming to the center, kids actually. They’re going to be volunteering here for the rest of the year.” She explains to him, her big smile never wavering.

Levi gives a her blank stare, not understanding a word that came out of her big mouth.

Hange scratches her head, “basically these kids are going to be helping us with our work. They learn about this place as they go, and we help them find opportunities for their future.”

Levi blinks, children? Human children? He internally shudders.

“As long as they don’t place their filthy hands on me or the water I don’t care.” He drawls in a monotone voice. Hange tilts her head at him curiously.

“It’s okay for them to meet you?” She asks him slowly. He nods, making her smile so bright it almost blinds the mer.

Hange leaves him to his own devices and heads to the main building in a frenzy. When she makes her way into the lobby Nanaba and Mike are already greeting the kids. Hange stops to take them in. There are seven of them, eyes wide as the juveniles look around the main lobby. Hange can feel their excitement raidiating off of them in waves.

Hange worms her way next to Nanaba near the front desk, Erwin is there too His voice booming as he introduces himself. When he catches sight of her he gestures for her to come foward, she happily obeys and walks infront of the young teens.

“This is Dr. Hange Zoë, She is the head of our research and rehabilitation department.” He tells them and Hange gives them a huge wave and her best grin.

“Hello everyone, I’m so glad you chose to volunteer with us, we’re going to have lots of fun and learn so many new things!” Hange’s energy is ecstatic.

“She will be showing you a tour first, please make sure to write your names on a name tag. We’ll have ID’s ready for you by next week”. Erwin finishes with a clap of his large hands. The kids all began to murmur in excitement with each other as Petra handed them each a blank name tag and a marker.

Once all the kids had their name tags, Hange raised her arm and pointed towards the elevator.

“Alright everyone! Single file into the elevator, the tour has commenced!” Hange, Nanaba and Mike showed them the their way around the main building before making their way to the medical wing.

“While you guys won’t be dealing with a lot of the patchwork, you will be assisting with things like helping to transport patients in and out of their enclosures when medical assistance is needed.” Hange explained to them, stopping near one of the medical rooms.

“Who knows? Maybe Dr.Petra will give you an opportunity to sit in as well.” Hange says, giving Nanaba a sly grin, who responds with an equally devious expression.

One of the teens raises their hand, it was a boy with straight blonde hair that almost reached his shoulders. He had bright, ocean blue eyes that shined curiously underneath his bangs.

“Yes? Er-” Hange craned her neck to read the name off of his name tag. “Armin!”

The boy smiled shyly and nodded before asking, “eh-um, I read on your website that you guys take in a broad range of species that are mostly aquatic and that you specialize in the more unique err-specimens.” The boy behind him groaned. His short hair had an ash blondish almost light brown color to it.

“Really Armin, you can’t even wait until after the tour for questions?”

The girl next to him socked him on his shoulder with her tiny fist. She too was blonde like Armin, hers was a little longer and tied in a loose ponytail over her shoulder. She was the smallest of the group but it seemed that she packed a punch. The boy rubbed his shoulder and was about to yell at her bofore the boy on the other side of the girl gave him a murderous glare. He had shaggy brown hair and piercing teal eyes.

“Shut up Jean.” The boy tells him and the the other boy-Jean-attempts to grab at the teal eyed boy. He stops in his tracks when he meets the steely glare of another girl who stood on the other side of the teal eyed boy.

“Touch Eren and you’re going to be single for the rest of the summer.” The girl’s voice almost sounded sinister. She was asian, with short dark hair that ended just below her ears. A long fringe fell over her face just between her grey colored eyes. “I wasn’t even gonna do anything Mikasa, gosh.” Jean said and crossed his arms in an angry pout.

Hange laughed, “It’s alright, I’ll answer any questions that you guys have throughout the tour.” She turns to Armin, who perks up instantly.

“You’re definitely right, we do specialize in the more special cases and species.” They’re moving towards the other side of the campus now, where the enclosures are.

“Most of our patients indeed are the usual specimens like dolphins seas turtles and sharks, ranging from the more endangered to the more common.” She stopped near the gate of the patient area, there was a large sign that read ‘Authorized personnel only’ in front of it.

As they made their way through the area the kids ogled at the various enclosures that they passed. Mike introduced them to Hans, a 50 year old Hawksbill sea turtle. He was brought to them two years ago with a missing flipper and a fractured shell. The teens were in awe when Nanaba introduced the to Winnie, a vampire squid aka Vampyroteuthis infernalis. Nanaba had found her when she was a little polyp in some sketchy ‘exotic’ pet store. She was in terrible condition, the owner kept her in a cramped tank that was never cleaned. So Nanaba bought her and brought her in and they’ve had her in their care ever since.

Hange then leads them to Sawney and Bean’s enclosure. The two reef sharks were very curious and immediately taken a liking to the new recruits. Hange was not surprised in the slightest, she let the kids feed them a couple of baby squids.

They stop at enclosure that was built underground, Hange turns towards the group of unsuspecting teenagers and grins.

“You guys are going to love the next few patients.”

Mike opens the heavy steel door of the enclosure’s entrance that leads to some stairs. Hange leads the group inside, the space is huge, the walls weren’t walls they were giant tanks that connected into one big watery enclosure above ground.

One of the teens presses her face against the side of the glass. It’s a girl with hair as brown as Hange’s that’s tied up into a high ponytail and long bangs that framed her face.

“There isn’t anything in here.” She says, eyes scanning through the deep blue water. Before anyone can retort, a large figure swims pass them. All the kids jump and gasp at the looming figure.

The creature was very large. The head resembled that of a horse, it’s tail was long and adorned with flowy skirt like fins. It had two front webbed ‘legs’ and a beautiful blue and green color pattern across its entire body. The group of kids were left with their mouths hanging open at the sight.

“Meet June, she is a Scottish water horse.” Said hange.

“Otherwise known as a Kelpie. She’s a total sweetheart, pretty old in age but loves to play fetch with pool toys.” Hange giggles as June swims closer to the group and snorts at them, creating little bubbles in the water. The kids became more enraptured with June, they all crowded near her as she curiously eyed them while swimming around in happy movements.

Hange explained to them that she was the subject of an illegal traveling circus, they had her as some kind of exhibit. When they were shut down she was brought here because she had spent her entire life in captivity and knew nothing about surviving alone in the wild. Kelpies usually stick with their mothers for a while before going off on their own, June never got to experience that.

“Hey, she kind of looks like Jean.” A boy with a buzz cut teased and everyone in their group except Jean burst out in a fit of giggles. Jean grabbed the boy and pressed his knuckles against his head.

“Say that shit agin Connie.”

He only laughed as Jean rubbed his knuckles against his head.

As the group made their way through the entire campus Hange would answer their questions with gusto. Sasha, the girl with the brown ponytail, asked about lunchtime and Hange told them that she had one more patient to introduce to them before lunch.

As they approach Levi’s enclosure Hange stops and turns to them.

“Our next stop is another special, have any of you heard of the ‘Homo Aquatis Melusine’?

The blonde haired girl perked up and shot her hand up. Hange took a peek at her name tag.

“Historia!”

Historia’s cheeks colored a little before answering in a small voice, “you mean Mermaids?”

Hange nodded with a smile. “Ah yes indeed, mermaids, merfolk, water people, Triton’s children. We’ve created many names for them, yet we still have very little knowledge about them. Mermyds are extremely stubborn and highly unpredictable, so I ask you to please be mindful. This one has been through trauma and is making a difficult recovery. This is the first Mer to be in our facility so we are still learning the ropes around caring for him.”

The teens are practically vibrating with pent up curiosity, hange grinned a little.

“No way, you mean we’re actually going to be working with a Mermyd?” Eren practically yelled, Hange Cringed.

“Yes and no, he is a difficult case. I will have at least one of you assisting me once in a while so he won’t be too overwhelmed.” She responds

“I read that they can be dangerous.” Said Armin, Hannge looks at him curiously. While she was sure that Levi was definitely a force when he was in the wild, she wouldn’t say that he’s dangerous now that he’s in rehabilitation.

Hange hums, “Yes they are. Like any other wild creature, including us, they have the tendency to react violently when it comes to difficult situations.

She claps her hands together, “Now, I’m going to have you guys change into wetsuits, just as a precaution.”

As Nanaba and Mike hand out suits to the kids and direct them to the bathrooms, Hange makes her way into Levi’s enclosure.

She smiles when she notices that he is in his hammock reading-er- attempting to read one of the books she left him. The mer squints at the letters in front of him, small lips attempting to pronounce each word.

“The cat in the hat, that’s a classic.”

He looks up at her and squints.

“What do you want?”

Hange pouts at him, “I’m giving the new volunteers a tour, you’re up.”

Levi freezes, his usually guarded expression cracks a little. Hange puts up her hands.

“They’re not going to be in here, they’ll be up there.” Hange says to him while pointing at the observation deck above the water. He visibly relaxes. Hange bends down to examine his tail, carefully telling her fingers over the bandage.

“How’s it feel?” She asks him softly, looking up at him. Levi stares back at her, his tail twitches slightly under her touch but he does no pull away this time.

“It’s better, doesn’t hurt as much like before, but it’s uncomfortable to swim with.”

Hange hums and unconsciously strokes the scales of an uninjured area of his tail. Levi’s breath hitches slightly and he shivers making Hange snatch her hand back.

“I’m sorry did I hurt you?” She apologizes but Levi shakes his head, cheeks redden slightly. Hange let’s out a sigh of relief.

“Good, hehe” she stands and checks her watch, “Okay the kids should be finished changing by now.”

Levi buries his face back into his book. Hange scoffs and moves the book away from his face. He glares at her.

“Hey, don’t be a pouty fishy, human interaction will be good for you.”

The Mer rolls his eyes.

“Are a bunch of snotty human brats supposed to magically heal me?” He says before crossing his arms against his naked chest.

“No, but it will make it easier. They’re nice kids.”

Levi looks back her, she giving him a small sad smile. Her chocolate eyes gaze at him warmly and it stirs something up inside him . He feels hot all over again, he sighs.

“Alright, But if anyone one of them even sticks a finger inside the water I won’t hesitate to bite it off of them.”

Hange laughs one of her bubbly and breathy laughs that make her eyed crinkle behind her glasses and he shoulder shake.

And the Mermyd could only stare at the goofy four eyed human, as she continued to cause whatever was happening inside his chest to flutter rapidly against his will.

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AN: Aaaaaand scene! Look at Levi blush hehehheee 😈 and yessss our fav teens have finally arrived! Let’s just hope Levi doesn’t chew any of their fingers off hehee.

Thanks for reading, see you in the next chap!😘

Part 5

[edenfalling]

[Fic] “A Kind of Paradise Enow” - original

I decided to crosspost the two original fills after all. :)

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61. Written 2/24/20 for silveradept, in response to the prompt: Any, any, the post-apocalyptic library and mercenaries setting described in this general thread about the sacredness of books and the library as an institution that nobody messes with.

A Kind of Paradise Enow (750 words)

By the time everything went to hell, a lot of the bigger libraries had maker-spaces attached to them so it just made good sense to add printing (actual mechanical presses, mostly, now that there wasn't an easy way to make microchips and all the fiddly rare-earth pieces necessary to make portable computers work) to a library's list of services. But the thing was, transporting a hundred or a thousand copies of the same book over long distances was a waste of resources. The libraries took to sending galley proofs instead, so each library or unaffiliated press could print their own local run.

Hauling texts through the badlands on the library circuit wasn't the easiest job Gabby and Ashrita had done since the Collapse, nor the best paid, but getting first look at new stories was worth a hell of a lot on the intangible compensation front -- and it was gratifying how quick half the assholes taking potshots at them would back off once Ashrita waved a library courier flag. Sometimes the hard-lucks even invited them back to their camps, and Gabby let them sneak a preview of some new tale in return.

The ones who didn't back off, well, there was a reason Gabby and Ashrita didn't need to bargain over their job rates any more. They left those ones dead or dying and shed no tears.

Someday, Gabby told Ashrita one evening over another cold trail supper of bean mush on stale bread, she might even turn her hand to writing a story of her own. "Some kind of hard-boiled murder mystery with a romance subplot," she said. "You know, the world-weary ex-police private eye falls for the shady dame who brings her a case the police won't touch -- three sex scenes, two shootouts, a comedy bit where they pretend to be sisters despite the obvious sexual tension, and at least one double-cross, before they outwit the mafia and go into business together."

"I'd read it," Ashrita said, "but just so I'd know if it's worth hauling around the circuit."

Gabby tossed a pebble across their campsite to land in Ashrita's left boot, her aim flawless as always. "My words are priceless and you know it."

"Everything's got a price. For your words, I'd say maybe three reams of good rag paper, a nanny goat, or two laying hens. Except I love and respect you, so let's kick it up to four reams and the hens."

"Fuck you, clearly the goat's a better choice," Gabby said through her laughter. "You can take a goat anywhere but chickens need a home."

Ashrita nodded and swallowed her last mouthful of dinner. "Right, right, fair point. But you know, I was thinking we might look in to setting up a more steady base. We're not getting any younger, and I think we might do more good training up a handful of couriers to our standards than just running the circuit until some hard-lucks have one good day and plug us. And it's got to be easier writing stories with an actual desk and chair than trying to scribble notes on the road -- to say nothing of easier on whatever poor typesetter has to read your chicken-scratch."

Gabby was quiet for a long moment, elbows propped on her knees as she stared over the scrub and gravel of their campsite toward the cracked asphalt of old I-80, still the beating artery of transport across America despite its dangers. Then she shrugged and said, with a wry little smile, "I was thinking of how to say the same to you, you know? That we could settle down, make a garden, maybe take up gunsmithing -- god knows we've fixed enough pieces over the years to pick it up. But it feels different hearing it out loud than just thinking it quiet inside my head."

"Yeah."

"But still. It's not a bad plan. There's just one thing that might be a problem."

"That being?" Ashrita said, tensing slightly at Gabby's solemn tone. "Don't tell me you've secretly gambled away all our savings."

"Don't be ridiculous. No, we've got to make sure the library in whatever town we pick still gives us first look at any new texts, even if we're not the ones running the circuit anymore. I need my noir detective series or I might literally die!"

Ashrita threw her boot at Gabby, and tackled her to the ground while she was off-balance from dodging.

After that, they had better things to do than talk.

-----

That got a little out of hand... *wry*

[dyde21]

Rescue

I know this isn’t the marchingband!AU fic you’re all waiting for, but I honestly got really inspired and wanted to indulge myself in a short story for my OC’s. It’s cute, and Ashe is usually the badass one in most of my story so letting Tyler play the hero for a bit is fun. Please check it out if you have a moment!

XxXxXxXxX

“Don’t be scared girl, I’m sure they’ll bring the reli-”

“I’m not scared.” Ashe interrupted, rolling her eyes. She shifted her arms, feeling the handcuffs adjust and strain.

She looked around the room. There were three people guarding her at the moment. The main guy who had snuck up on them, and two other guards who were on either side, bored but keeping watch. 

“Tough one, I see.” He muttered. “Whatever. If they’re smart they’ll make the deal without an issue and no one needs to get hurt.”

Ashe laughed despite herself. “We’re a little past that point. You guys already made three big mistakes.”

He stepped closer to her, his eyes narrowing as glared at her. “I’m starting to think you don’t understand the situation you’re in.” He offered, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. “The only reason you’re still alive is because you’re more useful to us alive.”

Ashe raised an eyebrow. “I understand things perfectly. I’m also alive because you know if you harmed or killed me, my sisters would burn this place to the ground, after burying you alive.” Her voice was even, her gaze piercing as she dared him to deny it. 

He just set his jaw, shrugging his shoulders. “Your death would be a pain the ass, I’ll admit. But they know we aren’t joking around. It’s just business. We’ll get the relic and you’ll be on your way.”

Ashe just sighed. “There’s no chance you’re getting the relic. I honestly doubt you’ll even walk away from this, since you made three mistakes after all.”

Her captor crossed his arms. “I did? Care to let me know what I did wrong?”

Flicking her head to the side to get her bangs out of her face, she smirked at him. “Sure.”

“One, you’ve managed to piss off my almost annoyingly calm boyfriend. He has a bit of a temper, and messing with me is honestly one of the stupidest things you can do around him.”

He scoffed at her. “LIke I’m afraid of your little boyfriend.”

Ashe laughed darkly. “Underestimating him isn’t a good idea.”

As if on cue, there was a faint rumbling in the distance, causing some stray dust to fall from the ceiling. Everyone in the room looked up at it. 

The guy in charge turned to one of the other guards. “Go check things out.” He barked out the order, as the guy ran off to check on things.

THis just caused Ashe to laugh. “The second mistake you made was telling them where you were. You saved them the trouble of having to find me, hoping for the exchange. You brought hell right to your doorstep.”

“Shut up!” He snapped, pulling out a walkie talkie, but he couldn’t get a response aside from the sound of yelling and fighting on the other end. 

Ashe could make out the familiar sound of ice shattering as she felt a flurry in her heart. She knew Tyler would come for her. She had gone through hell to save him once, and she had no doubt in her heart that he would do the same. 

The rumbles continued, getting closer and closer each time.

“You better hope he doesn’t reach us, or both of you are dead.” The man barked, drawing his sword.

Ashe just started humming to herself as she flexed her wrists again. 

“Frosty the snowman, was a very jolly soul…” She began to sing ominously as the crashes drew nearer and nearer. 

Glancing down, she could see her breath now as the temperature of the area continued to plummet rapidly. 

The other guard in the room trained his bow on the door and Ashe rolled her eyes. LIke that was going to stop him. 

“The third mistake you made was separating us. There is nothing in this world that can keep us apart.”

She finished.

“Shut up!” He roared as he stormed over to her, lifting her out of the chair and holding her in front of him, a knife at her throat. 

She tensed up slightly, but continued to watch the door. “Come on…” She muttered.

The rumbling stopped and for a few moments the entire building fell eerily silent. 

“Wha-”

A second later the door exploded open as a wall of icy mist exploded into the room, obscuring vision. 

Ashe flinched as she felt a familiar rush of cold air, the sound of ice rapidly expanding and another crash. 

When the mist faded, both sides of the room had been frozen, the man with the bow knocked against the wall out cold and his legs frozen in place.

Tyler was standing in the doorway, sword and shield drawn as he stared in the room. His look was downright murderous, until they met hers and she saw relief flood through them. 

He didn’t vocalize the words, but his mouth formed the words “I love you.”

“Let her go.”

He offered one warning to her captor. 

“Like hell I will.”

Tyler took a step forward. “The twins are here too, you’re lucky I got here first. If you want to make it out of here alive, drop her now.”

The man seemed to pause for a moment. 

Ashe just rolled her eyes. “At least I don’t need to wait for you guys to get here anymore.”

With two sharp movements of her arms, the hyper heated metal chain of the cuffs snapped in two as easily as her hands shot up, grabbing the knife and twisting his wrist with a sickening crack, making him drop it, before she dove to the side.

A second later another wave of ice crashed against her previous captor, sending him crashing against the back wall, before ice crept up him and froze him to the wall completely.

“Thanks for the hel-” She was cut off as she was suddenly pressed against Tyler’s chest as he wrapped her in a bear hug.

She just smiled, returning the hug.

“You’re safe.” His words were soft, and Ashe was pretty sure he wasn’t even talking to her. 

“I knew you’d come. I wasn’t worried.”

“I was.”

Looking up, she saw him looking down at her, his brow furrowed in that way she found both cute and worrying. Reaching up, she smoothed it out with her thumb. “We’re together.” She offered, before kissing him. 

He returned the kiss for a moment before he broke away, turning towards the man recovering against the wall, still frozen in place.

Ashe felt another rush of cold air as a long cold spear of ice formed in her boyfriend’s hand. He took a step towards the man. He was quiet, but the temperature in the mostly frozen room was still plummeting even lower. Tyler’s rage was the polar opposite of hers, it was cold and direct. Reaching out, she wrapped her hand around his wrist, willing her hand to warm up as steam began to escape from their grasp. 

Slowly the ice spear bean to melt around where he held it as she slid her hand lower, melting the middle of it causing it to shatter and fall to the ground as she intertwined her hands with his. “Hey, relax. He’s not worth it. He was rather polite as far as hostage takers went.” She said, gently tugging him away from the room. She wasn’t about to let Tyler do something he’d regret later. 

“Let’s just go, please.” She said.

He glanced at her, looked back at the man for a second, before sighing, his shoulders finally relaxing for the first time since she saw him. She knew it was over. 

“Okay.” He said after a moment. “Let’s go.” He said, squeezing her hand a little. “But…”

He turned, dropping her hand for a moment as another spear formed in it. She just watched with an eyebrow raised, knowing him well enough to know what he was probably thinking. 

With a rather impressive throw, the ice spear launched towards the man, stabbing the wall next to his head and slowly starting to freeze, just inches from his face. 

“Don’t ever bother us again.” He threatened.

A second later a flaming arrow impaled the wall on the other side of his head. “Next time, I won’t play nicely.” She warned.

Tyler looked over at her, smirking at her. “You’re hot when you’re all threatening.”

Laughing, Ashe let her bow dissipate again as she messed up his hair. “And you have horrible timing for flirting. Let’s go before Ali breaks the entire building.”

The man took a deep breath, his eyes closed as he realized he wasn’t actually about to die.

As they walked out of the building, Ashe glanced around. She saw various walls busted open, and a solid layer of ice practically covered everything.

“You kinda overdid it.” She said with a whistle of appreciation. Her boyfriend really was getting stronger.

He shrugged. “I was mad. Besides, you literally blew up a building so I don’t want to hear it from you.”

She blushed, realizing he wasn’t wrong. She had been a little… unstable during that period. Still, now they were together again. As they were meant to be. “Date night?”

“Date night.” Tyler affirmed as the twins ran up to give Ashe a hug.

XxXxXxXxX

Thank you for reading! Sassy Ashe is super fun for me to write. Plus, like I said, Ashe is not usually a “damsel in distress”. Usually the opposite actually, so it was fun to experiment with the other side of things. To any of you who actually read it, thank you! I appreciate it so much and as always feel free to ask questions or give prompts for my OC’s. They mean everything to me. More PJO stuff soon!