#slightly U!Janus

[satoruhour]

✶ GETO SUGURU ✶

(legend — a for angst, f for fluff, s for suggestive, m for mature | drabbles and thirsts will be < 2k words, fics > 2k) -> back to main masterlist

drabbles and thirsts:

go! – racer!jjk men (m)

racer!jjk men pt.2 — how did you two meet? (general, s)

brother’s bsf (f, s)

clementines (f)

tying up his hair before eating you out (m)

riding the jjk men’s abs (m)

mover!geto (m)

his favourite w— student ! — a professor!jjk men au (m)

aftercare (f, slightly m)

SL*T HIM OUT ! (m)

sneaking out of school w/ geto (f, little a)

honeymoon thirst (m)

dilf!geto (m)

poly rs w/ stsg (f)

massage (f)

headboard (m)

full nelson (m)

gamer!bf comfort (f)

sensitivity uppp ! (m)

ay ! spank it. (m)

poly!stsg drabble (f)

hair-pulling (m)

hc’s / bulletpoints:

what they’re like as sugar daddies (f, m)

more racer!geto hc’s (f, m)

fics:

lloromannic (f, slight a, m)

he plays bass ! (f, m)

oversized never looked this good (f, m)

the just janus-faced (m, dark content)

brother’s bsf pt. 2 — st☆rgirl (f, m)

au revoir, o heaven! (m, dark content)

i got that dumb d*ck ! (m)

lesson no.1 (f)

au revoir, o heaven! pt. 2 — domine dirge nos (m)

luvrgirl (f, m) — racer!geto continuation

twice the trouble ! (m)

thank u for the support :3

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Hero

found u on AO3 and loved u immediately, your writing style is incredible and i’ve binged all your stories :) crack request popped into my mind the other day and i thought i’d share—> the pinocchio phenomenon about “my nose will grow” (i’m sure you’re familiar) except for its the sides (prob logan bc experiment) trying it on janus- “janus will be summoned” or something to that effect idk ily please never stop writing <3 – bumblebea2712

Okay, so I've been thinking about something for a while. In your fic, Silver Box, where Roman has that box labeled 'Ego' with all the positive reinforcement in it? What if one of the things that gets whispered from it is when c!Thomas told Roman "you're my hero"? Like, especially with the angst from POF/SvS Redux. Thinking about how Roman misinterpret Janus' nod as 'Thomas is lying' when he actually meant that Thomas was still the truth when calling Roman his hero again. I wanna see Janus trying to correct him and be like "that nod meant he was telling the truth, he still thinks of you as his hero, he still cares about you", etc. Just some Roman, Janus, and c!Thomas angst all bundled up with hurt/comfort. I have THOUGHTS, and so I wanted to share :3 – oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

If you're up to requests rn, could we have a Sanders Sides fic where Thomas himself is actually present maybe? – anon

Hey, would you be interested in perhaps writing a story where Logan assumes Roman is stupid because he isn’t articulate, and one day Roman has enough and is trying so hard to explain to Logan why he’s wrong but he doesn’t know the right way to phrase things so he just ends up getting more and more upset while Logan isn’t listening? – anon

Hey! I love your work (I’m definitely a Roman angst enjoyer 😅, but all of it’s good!!). If you’re open to requests, I was thinking about the control that Patton has over Roman because like,, a prince fights for honor. For good. And who decides what those concepts mean? Patton does. In some way, he controls Roman’s narrative. Anyways, h/c with Roman and potentially protective Remus. Thank you for considering!! – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self esteem issues, self doubt, slightly unsympathetic logan and patton

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 5984

"What honor is there that I can find now? What—how do I know what is right anymore? I've been behind a sword for so long, I fear…I fear I'm forgetting who I am without it." His breath comes out shakier. "And I fear…if I were to ever try to explain this to someone who wasn't you, my words would come out so clumsy they would impale me on their rusted edges." "There is nothing wrong with the way you speak, Roman. Nothing at all." "If only it were something that would be listened to."

Thomas sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Okay, I think—is that all we're gonna be able to get done today?"

"I have no qualms about continuing, but I do not think it would be productive."

"I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you go around in circles again and again," Virgil groans, long ago giving up the pretense of standing and paying attention, his forehead pressed against the stairs railing, "just call it here and let us go."

"Now, kiddo, that's not a very sporting attitude!" Patton puts his hands on his hips. "If Thomas thinks we're all involved in this discussion, then there's no point if trying to discount your own importance."

"I'm not discounting my own importance, I'm questioning my relevance." He glares through a gap in the bars at Logan. "This whole thing isn't gonna make me think it's not worth being cautious about, no matter how much L tries to talk me out of it. I'm Anxiety. Literally it's my job to be irrational sometimes. By definition—"

"But we've previously established that you do have some semblance of logical reasoning at points, and this could very well be one of those points—"

"Okay." Thomas cuts Logan off with a wave of his hand. "I think—yeah, I think we're done. I'm sorry, Logan, but I don't—we're kind of at an impasse."

"Here's an idea." Virgil's hand flops lazily up in a parody of raising his hand. "Why don't we ask someone whose literal job it is to come up with ideas?"

Logan's nose wrinkles momentarily and he sighs. "I do not see the value in asking either Roman or Remus to weigh in on this discussion when it has nothing to do with them."

"Uh-huh, so you wanna try to do the create-an-idea thing without the Sides whose job it is to do that?"

"We are all capable of coming up with ideas, Virgil, Roman and Remus simply represent Thomas's Creativity."

"Oh, yeah?" Virgil heaves himself up onto an elbow. "When's the last time you came up with an idea for an experiment on your own?"

"Preposterous. I'm perfectly capable of coming up with my own experiments."

"Do it. Right now."

"We are in the middle of discussing—"

"No, no," Thomas says, "please, I could use a break from thinking about this."

Logan's mouth works for a second. "Very well. Let's see…ah. A spin on the Pinocchio paradox."

"The what?"

"The Pinocchio paradox. A simple thought experiment on what would happen if the character, Pinocchio, uttered the words: 'My nose will grow now.' An interesting thought, given that—"

"That his nose grows when he lies and if it does grow then he told the truth which means it wouldn't grow which means he lies, sure, sure, sure, what does that have to do with anything?"

Logan adjusts his ties and raises a finger. "Janus will now appear."

Everyone in the room pauses, listening for the telltale whoosh of a Side appearing. Which it does, a few seconds later, and Logan gets cuffed on the shoulder.

"What was that for?"

"I'm not an experiment," Janus says, a bit too amused to be an indictment, "and am perfectly capable of showing up to slap you for being an idiot."

"See? Experiment successful."

"That's not—okay." Thomas pinches the bridge of his nose. "Janus, while you're here, you might as well weigh in on this."

'"Being arbitrarily asked to choose a side with little to no context as to what the options are? My favorite." He claps his hands a few times. "What am I choosing between?"

"Would it be better if I responded to this email now, saying that I'm not available for a call for the rest of the day, or should I wait and just call back tomorrow when I am free?"

"Ooh, what an interesting dilemma. How badly will your life be impacted by a negative outcome to this call?"

"Don't fucking start with me, J," Virgil warns, studiously ignoring Patton's language, "I know you've been listening this whole time."

"Oh, you're no fun." Virgil tips him a lazy two-fingered salute and he sighs. "Very well. Thomas, do you want to respond to this now?"

Thomas frowns. "What? Isn't that what you all are here for?"

"We can manifest different parts of you trying to figure something out, but that doesn't mean you don't have your own thoughts about it that aren't us. What do you want to do?"

"This line of questioning is pointless. Thomas has established that he doesn't know what he wants and he's asked us—well, I suppose that now includes you—what to do."

Janus slides his gaze to Logan, eyes narrowing slightly. "That's awfully presumptuous of you, Logan."

"Thomas? Is that an inaccurate conclusion?"

"…I mean, not really."

Logan gestures at him. "See? There you are. Now, either we are agreeing to call the meeting here and simply wait until tomorrow, or we are going to rehash the same arguments from the past hour and quite frankly, I think there is a better use of our time."

"Why are the twins not here?"

"Excuse me?"

"The twins. The ones who are good at coming up with solutions to problems." Janus glances around. "They seem conspicuously absent from this meeting where we are trying to come up with a solution to something."

"That's what I was saying."

Logan sighs, removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Alright, if you insist. I do not see what sort of valuable insight they will be able to give us, but if you all want to hear what they have to say, then I suppose I cannot object."

Thomas smiles and reaches out to summon Creativity. A moment later, Roman appears in front of the TV, wincing.

"Thomas?"

"Hey, Roman, we, uh, we were hoping you could help us out."

Roman rubs the back of his neck, glancing around the room. "Uh, sure. What, uh, what with?"

"Thomas is struggling to choose between responding to a missed phone call and voicemail with either an email today apologizing and explaining his availability tomorrow, or simply calling back tomorrow when he is immediately available," Logan says smoothly. "Which option do you think is preferable?"

Roman just blinks at him for a long second. When Logan raises his eyebrows expectantly, his shoulders hunch a little and he curls in on himself. "I, um, I don't know."

"Just as I suspected. Very well, thank you Roman, you may go."

"Wait, what?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Virgil says, sitting up, "that's not fair, he's been here, what, all of two seconds?"

"Yes, and has just admitted that he doesn't have an answer to us, which is not a productive way to continue this conversation, therefore he can go."

"Wait, Logan—" Thomas holds his hand out, silently asking Roman to stay, "can't we just—how's he gonna be able to actually give his opinion if he doesn't have time to make one?"

"Roman, are the facts I've given to you unclear?"

"Huh? N-no—"

"Do you believe you have a firm enough grasp of the situation to form a conclusion?"

"I mean, yeah, I get it, but—"

"And you still don't know what option you prefer?"

Roman's quiet for a moment, his outstretched hand slowly returning to his side. "…no."

Logan nods. "Settled, then."

"Come on, Logan," Janus says, frowning a little now, "just because you didn't want him here doesn't mean you can throw him away as soon as he's said one thing that vaguely aligns with what you wanted."

"First off, that's an incredible level of irony coming from you—" both Janus and Roman flinch— "and secondly, Roman, would you like to be part of this meeting?"

They all turn to look at Roman, who shuffles under their gazes. He keeps flicking his eyes up to Thomas, then to Patton, then to Janus, before staring back down at his hands. The buzzing of the fridge becomes oppressive. He winces and rubs the back of his neck again.

"Roman?"

"…not really."

"Then it's settled, then. Thank you for your input."

Roman glances once more at Thomas with something almost like longing before he sinks out again. Virgil, who'd been watching him closely, turns to frown at Logan. Logan adjusts his tie.

"If that's all, then, Thomas, would you still like to end the meeting here?"

"Yeah, let's…let's call it."

"Very well. I shall be available if you need me further." He sinks out.

Patton sinks out next, giving Thomas a quick thumbs-up before disappearing. Janus exchanges a brief look with Virgil before he's vanishing too, leaving just the two of them alone in the living room. Thomas puts his hands on his hips, staring at the spot where Roman was.

"So that was weird, right?"

"Yeah." Virgil grunts as he sits up, hands balled up in the pocket of his hoodie. "That…I've never seen them…do that before."

"Did Roman and Logan have a fight or something?"

"I don't think so? I mean, I've seen them argue about stuff, but they always do that and it didn't seem like it was any more, like, intense than usual, so I don't…I don't know why that happened." He shuffles. "I've also never seen Logan be that…short with Roman before."

"Yeah, like, he was here for literally, like—"

"Like two seconds—"

"And then Logan was telling him to go again. And did you notice how he kept looking—"

"At you?"

"At me, yeah, did—did I do something?"

"What? Shit, no, Thomas, I don't think that's it. I think—" he sighs— "look, he's not gonna be happy I'm telling you this, but Princey's been going through some stuff lately and I'm not sure exactly what it is but I know it's been weighing on him a lot."

Thomas frowns. "How so?"

"Well, let me put it this way: have you been daydreaming a lot more lately?"

He thinks. "Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess so, but I haven't been doing that much recently, which kind of makes sense, I guess?"

"Yeah, well, that's Princey in the Imagination." Thomas nods and Virgil gives him a pointed look. "I'm telling you that Princey's been going into the Imagination more."

"Yeah, that's—isn't that what he does?"

Virgil scrubs a hand over his face. "Yeah, it is, but not like this. Normally when he goes in, he's doing it to come up with ideas or work something out, or…something. But recently…"

"But recently that doesn't feel like what he's doing," Thomas finishes, chewing on his lip, "yeah, actually, now that you mention it, it does kind of feel…different. Like—like they're…"

"Comfort," Virgil finishes quietly when he can't quite put his finger on it, "it feels like a comfort."

"Roman's going into the Imagination to comfort himself?" Virgil shrugs. "Why?"

"Like I said, he's going through some stuff. It's not—I'm not all up on how the Imagination translates to whatever your daydreams end up being, but I don't think—Princey's not even telling us what he gets up to in there."

Thomas sucks in a breath. If there's one thing he's learned after listening to them talk about whatever goes on in the Mindscape when they're not with him, it's that Roman loves to regale them with tales of his adventures in the Imagination, even if it comes at the expense of whatever else they're doing. To hear that Roman's been going off more than usual and he isn't telling them about it? Worrying, to say the least.

"When did this start?"

Virgil blows out a breath. "After the wedding."

"Shit, that's…probably not good."

"Yeah."

They both stare at the black TV. A bit of dust gets caught in a gust from the vent and sticks to the corner.

"…he's my hero," Thomas says quietly.

"Huh?"

"He's my hero. Maybe he's…maybe he's going to the Imagination to do the things heroes don't get to do."

"Okay, you gotta break that down for me a little more."

"The heroes don't get to be vulnerable. They don't get to…to actually stop and rest, not really. They have to keep going, they have to…" Thomas swallows. When did this lump in his throat get here? "They're not—oh, god, am I gonna cry?"

"Shit, shit, shit, uh—do you want me to get Patton back?"

"N-no, no, don't—" for some reason the thought of Patton reappearing sends a bolt of fear straight through his chest and he knows Virgil feels it too, shooting to his feet and watching as Thomas stumbles back to the couch— "I—oh, god."

"Hey, hey, hey, buddy," Virgil says, voice soft and low as Thomas buries his face in his hands, "take it easy, okay? You're okay, you're safe in the house, everything's okay. I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay? Just a nice, deep breath, you're okay, that's it, good, now let it out…nice, do it again…"

Virgil helps talk him slowly through the well of emotion suddenly bubbling just at the base of his throat, the breaths coming out shaky but steady. Absentmindedly, he puts a hand to his chest and starts rubbing in slow, firm circles. The pressure does something to the frantic and flighty part of him, helping to soothe him back from whatever brink he hadn't realized he'd walked to.

"Hey," Virgil calls a few minutes later, "you with me again?"

"Yeah, I think so." He takes a couple more seconds just to breathe it out. "Roman's—Roman's my hero, and I don't know if he knows that I…that I still want to listen to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Afterwards. When I—when we were all—when the stuff happened. He said that he thought he was my hero and I told him he was and then he…"

"Freaked," Virgil finishes when he can't, "yeah, I remember."

"I don't…I don't know why that made him so upset."

"Well, hey," he says when that lump starts to come back to his throat, "let's not have you worry about that right now, okay? You—let's go do something else that'll get your mind off of it. Go rewatch the Office bloopers again, that always works."

"Will you—can you keep an eye on him for me?"

"Yeah, Thomas, I can do that. Now c'mon, those bloopers aren't going to rewatch themselves."

***

Roman walks slowly through the woods as the fireflies twinkle around him. He lifts a hand to push aside a branch, stepping through the shadows to emerge onto the thin dirt path that winds through the base of the trees. As the darkness falls, the thin blue lines grow deeper, darker, blending together to weave across the grass as little critters scurry back and forth. The whistle of the wind accompanies the crunch of his footsteps as he makes his way toward the cabin.

Movement from around the side and the man emerges, wiping dirt from his hands with a rag. He looks up and smiles as Roman approaches.

"Roman," he greets, with his voice warm, "how good it is to see you."

"I see I'm a bit too late to help with the chores." He nods to the rag. "I don't mean to impose on you."

"Nonsense, old friend, nothing you do could possibly be an imposition. As it happens, I have a stew on that I won't be able to finish by myself and it would be a great favor to me if you were to help me."

Roman chuckles. "How could I refuse?"

The man holds a hand out to him as he nears, settling it on the curve of Roman's neck and pulling him close for a brief hug of sorts. Roman turns his cheek to rest against the curve of his jaw, breathing out shakily. The man lets out a comforting noise and his fingers card through the delicate hairs at the base of his head.

"Come inside, dear friend, let the fire warm you."

"The night is warm already."

"It is young still, and will grow cold," he says as he begins to lead them up the stairs, "and you look to be the type of cold that does not thaw even in the hottest sun."

"I worry for the state of the realm sometimes, if I am truly so transparent."

"Only to me, dear friend, and only because you have seen fit to allow yourself to be so with me." He's coaxed inside a modest cabin, sat at a simple hewn table as a rich smell fills the room. He closes his eyes to breathe it in, opening them again when the low thud of a bowl and tankard draws his attention. "Eat, please. You know I can't bear a less-than-full stomach under my roof."

"You're too kind to me."

"Nonsense." The hand fits itself around his head once more. "You are worth being kind to, and even more worth allowing me to care for you. Now, come on."

The stew is simple, hearty, and as filling as he could ever want. Under the table, their legs press together, boots against boots, knee against knee. The fire crackles in the hearth as the last of the light fades from outside. He can feel his shoulders beginning to relax, the line of his body growing looser, more languid.

When they've both eaten their fill and the dishes have been set away to deal with later, he sits on the floor near the hearth and stares into the flames. A warm hand lands on his shoulder and brings his head to rest against another, light touch trailing over the bare skin under his sleeve.

"What troubles you tonight, dear friend?"

"I don't want to impose—"

"Shh, none of that now. It's an honor to be troubled by your worries."

He turns his head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the smell of clean sweat, of spiced apple, of wood smoke. "I struggle to remember what it is I fight for."

Gentle nails along his scalp. "How so?"

"What honor is there that I can find now? What—how do I know what is right anymore? I've been behind a sword for so long, I fear…I fear I'm forgetting who I am without it." His breath comes out shakier. "And I fear…if I were to ever try to explain this to someone who wasn't you, my words would come out so clumsy they would impale me on their rusted edges."

"There is nothing wrong with the way you speak, Roman. Nothing at all."

"If only it were something that would be listened to."

"Hey." He's nudged until he can look up at the man's face. "You once told me that all you wanted to fight for was this. For the chance for one to sit, in the peace and safety, with those they care for, and have that be alright. Is this still true?"

"Yes. But I don't—I no longer know how to do that."

The man goes quiet, contemplative, running his fingers gently over the edge of Roman's face. The touch coaxes a lump to his throat, a tear to his eye, and the man lets out another comforting noise, pulling him closer.

"Rest for the night, please, dear friend. My bed is warm, my touch willing. You fear losing who you are without your sword? Put it down for the night, stay. Remind yourself of how to enjoy the thing you fight for."

"If only I could be as persuasive as you," he mumbles, allowing himself to sink into the warmth of the touch, "then I might never need a sword again."

He chuckles. "Well, I don't know if I can do all that much, but I have learned how to persuade you, my dear, and that will serve me well enough."

***

"Roman?"

Roman turns, spotting Janus as he trudges back from the Imagination. "What're you doing awake?"

"I was waiting for you."

He winces. "Sorry, I, um, did we have something planned?"

"What? No, no, sweetie, nothing like that, I only—I wanted to talk to you for a moment."

A chill works its way up Roman's spine and he suppresses a shudder, walking slowly to his room and opening the door. Janus follows him in, carefully closing it behind them and waiting while Roman tucks something into a drawer on his desk and sitting down.

"What's up?"

"Are you…are you okay?"

He flinches slightly. "Why, um, why?"

Janus looks pained. He glances around and seemingly comes to a decision before sinking down to the floor, crossing his legs and sighing. "You…seemed very upset after earlier, and I wanted to come and ask you about it."

"Oh, no, I'm fine, I wasn't—Logan was right, I wasn't going to be useful in that conversation."

"The one you were in for all of three seconds before you were being shunted out of it again?"

Roman narrows his eyes. "You know, it is kind of ironic that you of all people are worrying about that right now."

Janus barely has time to process how he feels about that sentence before Roman's eyes are widening and he's leaning back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, that came out really rude, I didn't mean that."

"You did, and that's okay. No, no—really, it is okay, Roman, you don't have to pretend like I didn't hurt you—that I'm not hurting you when I do things like that. No, no—" he stands as Roman covers his face with his hands— "please, sweetie, just—just listen to me for a second, okay?"

Roman nods, his face still hidden. Janus hesitates for a moment before gloved hands come down to rest on his shoulders. He leans down and carefully, carefully presses his chin to the top of Roman's head. Roman shudders a little under the contact but stays still.

"You've been distant lately," Janus whispers, as though afraid of breaking the silence, "and that's not a bad thing, sweetie, but it's…it seems like it's hurting you. And I'm worried because Thomas isn't—I don't know what Thomas would do without you."

Roman stiffens and immediately he knows it was the wrong thing to say. "I won't let Thomas down again, I know what I'm doing. I'm just—I'm sorry I haven't been very present lately, but I'm—"

"No, no, that's not what I meant—wait, what do you mean, 'again?'"

Roman hunches his shoulders. "I know I'm not Thomas's hero anymore, okay? You don't need to keep acting like I'm—"

"Wait, wait, sweetie." Janus crouches down, cupping Roman's face in his hands. "What do you mean, you're not Thomas's hero anymore?"

"That's what you said! After the wedding, when he said—when I said—and you nodded! Like it was a lie!" He jerks away. "We don't need to pretend that didn't happen, okay? I remember, it's not like I could forget something like that."

"No, no, Roman—no, that's not what I meant, I didn't—it wasn't a lie."

Roman goes still. He stares at Janus for a long moment, long enough for a bit of a smile to come to his face, like Roman's actually listening to him. Then Roman's expression darkens and the voice that comes out of him is darker and more venomous than anything Janus has ever heard.

"Do not lie to me."

"R-Roman—"

"No." Roman pulls away, standing up, towering over him. "You will not lie to me. Not about that, not about anything like that. Use me as your puppet all you want, everyone knows I can't stop you, but I won't let you lie to me about this. Ever."

He's already fumbling to get his gloves off, surging up and grabbing Roman in a tight hug, so close he couldn't hope to get an inch of distance between them. "I'm not lying," he hisses, almost into Roman's nose, "I'm not lying about this, Roman, I'm not. Thomas wasn't lying. You're his hero. You still are."

"Stop it—"

"My gloves are off! I can't lie with my gloves off, Thomas loves you—you're his hero—"

"Stop it!" The words leave Roman in a breathless cry and Janus is left struggling to heft his weight as his knees buckle. "Stop it, stop it—stop it, it's not true, it can't be true, it's a lie—it—it has to be—"

"Why does it have to be, sweetie?" They're back on the floor, Janus smoothing hair back from Roman's flushed face, awkwardly holding him in his lap. "Why did it have to be a lie?"

"Because—because—" he sniffles— "nothing makes sense anymore. I don't—I can't—I can't do anything."

He frowns. "What do you mean you can't do anything?"

Hands come up to circle his wrists, not to push him away, just to have somewhere else to hold onto. "Princes fight for honor, for what's good. I can't—I can't fight anymore."

Not much can break Janus's heart like hearing Roman admit something like that, fewer things still can threaten tears at the corners of his eyes like the ones badly concealed in Roman's voice. "What do you mean, sweetie? Why can't you fight anymore?"

"I don't know anything! I don't know what's good, what's honorable, what's—what's right, I can't…I'm wrong, Janus, I'm just wrong and I don't—I don't know how to be right again."

"Shh, shh, shh, easy, now, sweetie, shh…" Janus hauls him closer, pressing his mouth to his flushed cheek, still murmuring comfort. "Shh…that's it, just stay here with me a moment, okay?"

"J-Janus—"

"I'm here, sweetie, I'm right here."

Roman's stifled sobs land like mines in the room, creating a mess around them as he curls up tighter, tighter still. The door to the Imagination glistens softly and he can almost hear the distant crackle of a fireplace and that alone sends him further into the fit. Janus's hands remain gentle, holding him close, but everything keeps spinning and nothing, nothing makes sense except the hurt in his chest.

He's going to cry himself to sleep again, he realizes faintly as exhaustion starts to seep through him, but then Janus is kissing his forehead again and gently shaking him awake.

"Sweetie, listen to me: no one knows what you fight for better than you, okay? You're Thomas's Hopes and Dreams, his hero—" Roman whimpers— "you do know what's right."

"N-no, I don't."

"Then who does know?"

"Patton."

Janus's blood runs cold. "Patton? Why Patton?"

"Patton's the Heart, he's M—he's Morality. He knows—he decides. I'm—I just follow." He sniffles. "And Logan—Logan, he's right, I don't—I'm so stupid—"

"That's enough, now." He runs a hand through his hair again. "That's enough, sweetie. You're not stupid. No—shh, shh, you're not. You know you're not."

"I am. I can't—I can't talk right and I don't know what I'm doing and—an' I'm just gonna mess everything up again."

Janus closes his eyes, bowing his head and taking a deep breath of his own. Cradling Roman's head to his chest, he leans down and kisses both his forehead and his cheeks, just staying there for a long, long moment. Roman's soft sobs echo gently in his ear and he tucks a stray piece of hair back from his face.

"You're not stupid," he murmurs, "you're not going to mess everything up again. You're okay. You're okay, sweetie."

Roman sniffles and shakes his head. "No, it's not. It's not okay."

"…no," Janus concedes, pulling Roman close, "I suppose it's not."

***

Not many things can happen in the Mindscape without Remus noticing, and almost nothing can happen to his brother without him showing up to knock some heads.

Case in point: when there's a tug in his gut telling him that Roman is upset, he grabs his Morningstar and sinks out without hesitating.

When he rises up in the living room, it takes less than two seconds for him to determine one: that Logan is picking on his brother, two: Patton isn't doing anything to stop him, and three: Roman is crying.

"Remus, not now," Logan sighs, "we're in the middle of something."

"You're in the middle of hurting my brother."

"R-Re?" He's got his arm around Roman's shoulders in the next moment. "W-wait, I need to—I have to—I gotta explain."

"Explain what, Roro?"

Logan sighs. "Roman has been trying, unsuccessfully, to explain that we are at fault for—"

"Ah, no." Remus throws a knife at Logan. "I didn't ask you. Shush."

"Remus! Throwing knives at people isn't nice!"

"Neither is making them cry! We're all in agreement." He tucks his head against Roman's, gentling his voice. "What're you trying to explain, Roro?"

"The—" he sniffles— "Janus said I should try—try talking to them and I said it wouldn't work but he—he insisted an' I—"

"Shh, shh, take your time, Ro, you're doing great."

"Heart. Morality. Prince. Logic."

Remus's little black heart breaks in two and he wraps his arms tightly around his brother. "Oh, Ro, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, lemme get you somewhere safe and I'll do it for you, okay?"

"You don't have to—"

"Trust me, Ro-bro, I got this."

Roman sags in his arms. "O-okay."

Remus quickly bids the Imagination to open its doors and sinks Roman out, giving him a gentle push into the forest before reappearing in the living room. He cracks his knuckles and grins.

"Alright, where were we?"

Logan sighs. "Remus, I don't—"

"Ah, that's right!" Remus throws another knife at him. "You, not listening to people who can't articulate things as well as you can! Rude and ableist, Loganberry, not a good look on you."

"I am not—"

"Roman can't articulate his thoughts as well as you can and so you think you're better than him, smarter than him, and that he's not worth listening to, is that explicit enough?" Logan opens and closes his mouth a few times but doesn't say anything. "Mm. And you!"

Patton yelps as Remus throws something at him too.

"You have a nasty habit of making Roman feel like a helpless little kid! You have a lot of sway over things like Thomas's sense of right and wrong and when you don't talk to Roman like he's your equal, you really fuck him up!"

"Language—"

"Don't fucking talk to me about my language," Remus says with artificial cheeriness, "talk to yourself about how not to give my brother an identity crisis!"

He stops throwing things, mainly because the rest of them are exploding or things he knows Roman would rather he didn't throw at them, no matter how tempting it is. The two of them slowly get their shit together, each with a different amount of regret. He doesn't really care about that, though, so long as they're not going to hurt Roman like that again.

"Good chat!"

And he sinks out to tackle Roman into Ollie's pond so they can have fun playing and not crying.

God, he loves his brother.

***

"Hey, Thomas?"

Thomas looks up and sees Virgil on the stairs. "Oh, hey, Virge, what's up?"

"You, uh, you asked me to keep an eye on Princey."

He sits up straight. "Yeah, what's—what's going on?"

Virgil sighs, rubbing his hands together. "There was a…not a fight, but some stuff happened. Turns out that Roman, uh, didn't believe you when you said you still thought of him as your hero and it…got bad."

"Do I want to know how bad?"

"Like, bad enough that Roman wasn't—shit, Thomas, no, I don't think you wanna know. Let's just say it was bad enough that he wasn't just going to the Imagination for comfort, he was going there because it was the only place he felt safe."

"Oh, Roman…"

"The fight—the thing was about Roman trying to explain to Patton and Logan how it fucked him up really badly, and he wasn't—you know how Roman's not always the best at explaining himself?"

"Yeah?"

"It—it wasn't really going well. Remus had to step in and do it for him."

"Wait, Remus?"

"Yeah, they're brothers. Remus—shit, Remus is really protective of Roman sometimes and this time wasn't an exception. Everyone's fine now, but it's…" Virgil sighs. "Logan and Patton have apologized and everybody's working on it, but I thought you'd want to know."

"How much stuff happens with you guys that I don't know about?"

"Honestly? I don't think you want the answer to that either."

"Jesus." Thomas scrubs a hand over his face. "Alright, well, thanks for telling me, Virgil. If…if there's anything I can do, let me know?"

Virgil nods and sinks out. Thomas puts a hand to his chest, rubbing in slow circles. There's a part of him that feels cold, still. Maybe…maybe he can figure out some way to help warm it up.

***

Roman wakes up to the sound of a crackling fire. He hums, rolling over, reaching for the edge of the bed, only to stop when his hands meet the thick red comforter. He frowns. This…this is his bed. He didn't fall asleep in the Imagination. So then why…?

He looks over and his eyes widen.

Across the room, tucked into a neat little alcove that definitely wasn't there when he went to sleep, is a merrily crackling fireplace. Above it, mounted on a gold plaque, is a cardboard sword with the words you're my hero written on it in red ink.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[vampypurplequ33n]

HAPPY 8 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SANDERS SIDESS!!

I wish I could do more for this anniversary celebration but I have to go somewhere today and probably won’t have time to draw anything special. However, this is what I have time for since sanders sides was literally one half of my childhood and I recently got back into the hyperfixation of it. I love each of these characters to death and I’ll explain each of them in detail during this post <3

Logan: He is the best “teacher” ever! I wish he got more love from the other Sides, but the fandom definitely makes up for it. He’s a sucker for Crofters, got me into that jame btw, and he helped me learn a lot of new things! During one of my classes a teacher asked if anyone knew what a “Yerkes-Dodson Curve” was and let me tell you how I raised my hand so fast…. LOGAN MY BOI WE ALL LOVE YOU😭😭

Roman: The Man, the Prince, the Legend. He is so flamboyant I love him for that. He is the embodiment of “drama queen” and he definitely deserves that title. I loved this man to D E A T H since day one. I feel like half of me is literally his personality, and since I’m also insecure it checks out pretty well! If I was forced to only draw one Side for the REST of my life, it would be Roman in a heartbeat.

Patton: HES THE BIGGEST PUFFBALL WEVE GOT IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD AND EVERY CAN AGREE HES AMAZING AND OMFG HES SO ADORABLE AND EVERY BAD THING THAT HAPPENED TO HIM THAT HE COULDNT CONTROL SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED AND I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR HIM AND HE DESERVES ALL THE COOKIES IN THE WORLD OMGGGGGGGGG- Ahem, aside all that… I do love Patton! He is like the father I wish I could have, and the childhood imaginary friend you had what you were a toddler as well! I love you to bits Patton!

Virgil: He’s a fan favorite, which is understandable. A ton of people deal with anxiety, and a lot of people love the color purple. I.. am in that group but in a slightly insane level- Not the anxiety part that’s being dealt with, but the P U R P L E. He’s my favorite BECAUSE he’s purple. When he was just black I didn’t really like him THAT much, but I saw the appeal. Once he got the purple tho, I LOVED THAT MAN. He really is a big fan favorite and I understand why. Plus he’s a silly little emo gay, who doesn’t like that?

Janus: MY SASSY BOII!!! We love to see him! We all know he loves wine, we all know he definitely needs some validation, and our boy deserves a hug. We love him, and as the saying goes “She is beauty, she is grace, she will lie right to your face.” And he is also the embodiment of…. “Girlboss, gatekeep, gaslight <3” And all of this is the truth, which is definitely gonna mess with him a lil bit :3

Remus: How do you describe your love of a character without it getting to redundant? I love this fucking trashy rat man to death and nothing will change my god damn mind. HES SO SCRUNKLY I LOVE HIM!!! HE IS THE ELBODIMENT OF THE OTHER SIDE OF ME, IM BEING DEADASS RIGHT NOW. I WILL ACTUALLY KEEP RANTING AND RANTING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS GOD FORSAKEN MAN. I WILL FUCKING KILL FOR HIM (if he doesn’t do it first) His outfit, his personality, HIS FUCKING MACE. HE IS THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS AND I LIVE FOR IT!!

Thomas: Him. Just, Him. He deserves all the love this world can possibly give him and more. Whenever he posts is always, and I mean ALWAYS during a troubling part of my life. And he can get me through any bad days I may be having. I swear this guy knows when we are sad and posts RIGHT when that happens and it brings a chuckle to us, making the day MUCH BETTER. He is an inspiration, a goal, a dream, a PARENTAL FIGURE to most of the community and I want him to know that.

@thatsthat24 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY FOR SANDERS SIDES YOU DESERVE ALL OF THE GIFTS AND LOVE THIS COMMUNITY HAS GIVEN YOU!!!!

[transfemlogan]

YOU SAY I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, BUT DO YOU WANT TO BE MY MAN? 💞🐍🤖

Drawn for @/toxiph0bia's DTIYS on instagram! (Link to original post)

Instagram

Please click for better quality!

[ID: a drawing of Janus and Logan Sanders from Sanders Sides. The drawing is cropped thigh up. They are sitting across from each other. Janus is wearing his usual outfit, minus his hat and one glove, with yellow accents. His glove-free hand is covered in scales and sharp nails. He has yellow eyes. He is staring up at Logan with slightly parted lips and a lovestruck expression and is blushing heavily. Logan is wearing his usual outfit, including a vest. His face is covered in freckles and he has an eyebrow piercing, along with circle rimmed glasses and a glasses chain with orange stars. He has arm hair. He is grinning wide at Janus with his eyes closed. Logan is cradling Janus' glove-free hand in one hand. He is softly touching Janus' palm with his other hand. Janus is using his free hand to grip Logan's thigh tightly. There is a blue heart above their heads. The background is covered in light and dark blue checkers, with a purple rectangle in the middle of the image. There is a lightening-strike shape going across the background, filled with medium sized dots. A explosion/star shape is covering their hands and it's filled with smaller dots. Above Logan's head are multiple speech bubbles. The bottom of the image is scattered with transparent yellow stars. The entire image has a blurry and grainy filter. In the corner are orange letters outlined in black that read 'I-U-D'. /end ID]

Close-ups underneath cut

[ID: two close-ups of the drawing from above. The first image is of both characters' faces and the second is of their hands. /end ID]

[silverjurors]

Hii!

So, I wanted to ask, how did Janus lose his eye in ur rewrite/what's ur hc?

(PS. Finals are killing me, send help.)

Hiiii I want you to know that I love this question and I wish you the very best of luck with the results of your final exams (I have mocks soon AAAA) because the education system is hell and I too cannot wait to escape it

Okay. So in my rewrite, Janus lost their eye when they were about 19-ish. I have already said on one of my previous headcannon dumps that they lost it preventing an assassination attempt. This is still true! But here is some elaboration on it and the aftermath that occurs :3

- Yes they lost their eye protecting Zane (Yes I am aware that I base a significant amount of their character around Zane it's the ONLY CANON THING WE KNOW ABOUT THEM OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME)

- Once again, all of this (and by this I mean trauma) is for Zane because they have exactly 3 people they care about and Zane is top of that list

- Zane wasn't actually the target of the assassination attempt (it was Vylad) but they look rlly similar in my re-write so the assassins decided that it would just be easier to try and kill both of them

- These assassins were a small group of premature Shadow Knights who were working as mercenaries that may or may not have been hired by Garte

- Vylad did in fact die (v sad rip Vylad u will be missed bestie) but Zane gets to live and was mostly unharmed because, unlike Vylad's personal Guard who saw Shadow Knights and promptly bailed, Janus has no self preservation instinct and went "OK we fight until either I die or you all die"

- So Janus then proceeded to straight up beast-mode 2 premature Shadow Knights in 1V2 combat and got a poisoned arrow to the eye for their service

- The minute the adrenaline ran out they collapsed because OW

- This did actually put them in a medically induced coma for like two weeks afterwards while they got healed

- Also this did have a slightly weird shift on their biology, like sharper teeth, that definitely has nothing to do with my eventual plan to make Janus a Shadow Knight by my S3 definitely not but that's not relevant so let's just collectively ignore it like they did when they woke up

- Janus spent a good chunk of time afterwards re-learning how to fight and use their swords because their depth perception was terrible

- He also walked into several walls and almost fell down several flights of stairs a few times

- This was the incident that gave them the idea that they can't die

- Which led to reckless behavior when they could finally re-join the battlefield, but it's totally fine because for some reason they seem a lot less affected by pain than they used to be

- Sometimes they have Visions in that eye. They are convinced these are probably PTSD nightmares (they aren't)

- Their eyes also get tired really easily after all that, because ow, so they don't read very much

- Chronic pain. Like, holy shit, so much chronic pain in that eye specifically

Uhhhh that's all I got I think, thank you for the ask I love to talk and never ever shut up <3

[elementary-my-dear-daddy]

"Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me." WITH LOCEIT(sub logan, dom janus obviously) IF U WANF PRETTY PLEASE :3 - @pupplaylogan

A Display of Dominance

Loceit (Dom Janus and Sub Logan)

Warnings: Sado/Masochism, Impact Play, Degradation, Punishment, Bondage, Bleeding Mention

Read it on AO3!

When Logan forgets his place, Janus (and his flogger) are there to remind him of it.

Click.

The last of the locks of the restraints on the large wooden bench that Logan was currently naked and bent over clicked into place. He winced at the sound that more or less resigned him to a night at Janus’ mercy. The side in question stood over him, shirtless and sporting leather gloves in exchange for his silk ones. He paced in front of Logan, who was only able to see him from the waist down. Janus paused right in front of him.

“We’re going to start now. Is there anything you have to say for yourself before we start your punishment?”

“How likely will I be able to walk tomorrow?”

His question was met with a harsh smack to his cheek. He let out a small noise at the sting that bloomed across his face.

“Unlikely.” Janus stated and walked out of sight, “Flogger or Paddle?”

Logan was still recovering from the slap, he took a breath, “F-flogger?”

He was expecting the sting of the small strips of leather, but instead felt Janus’ glove covered hand come down on his ass. He yelped, more at the foreign sensation than the pain itself. Janus chuckled from behind him.

“Funny. You think you have a choice in the matter.”

The pain struck again and again and again. Logan’s ass was properly stinging now as he clutched at the restraints forcing him to take it. Each hit landed right on the center of his asscheeks, most likely making the area red from impact. 30 strikes total, if his counting had been accurate.

“Now that you’re warmed up, would you like to give me a reason as to why I’m punishing you?” Janus spoke clearly. When he stepped into the role of dominant, he always seemed to have an air of teasing nonchalance. Asking taunting questions and doling out punishments more for his own amusement rather than to correct behavior. Logan’s found himself in this position from convincing Remus to steal his chastity keys from Janus for Logan to unlock himself to forgetting to ask permission before looking up at him. He always loved to play games and inevitably watch his subs lose at them. Luckily Logan was far from fragile and Janus could be as rough as he liked.

“I-I didn’t…��� Logan breathed, “I didn’t let Virgil use me when I was working.”

“Hm. And you didn’t use your colors?” Janus questioned, referring to their safewords.

“N-no, Master.”

“So, if I’m understanding this correctly, you deliberately told one of your dominants no?”

“Yes, Master- Ah~!”

Janus’ hand came down on his rear once again before he moved over to his other side. Logan’s eyes had been screwed shut while his head rested on the cushioned headrest of the bench. He suddenly felt a gloved hand lift up and pet his chin before hearing Janus speak again.

"Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me."

Logan let the hand guide his chin upward and opened his eyes to meet Janus’ stare. His eyes were watering with the beginnings of tears starting to form in the corners. Janus gazed into them with an unreadable expression. His blank face turned into a frown and he spit on Logan’s face.

“Disobedient brat. You know you’re nothing more than our toy. We’ll use you when we want to and you’ll let us like a good whore next time.”

Janus let Logan’s head drop down again while he walked to go pick up one of the leather floggers hanging off to the side. He tested it on himself first, the braided strands slightly nipping at his skin. He went over to Logan draped over the bench and didn’t hesitate before letting the flogger crash down on his ass. 

“You know what to do, brat, don’t keep me waiting.”

Logan yelped at the hit, allowing a tear to roll down his face, “One. Th-thank you Master.”

Another swish of the leather hit his thighs, making him groan at the sensation and increase the count. He loved the dull thrum of pain that the flogger brought compared to the sharp sting of a hand. Each feeling got him to sink deeper into the fog of subspace until they all muddied into pleasure. 

Finally, his tears were freely flowing and he whined at every hit, stuttering through his counts until they ended.

“T-t-twenty, thank y-you Master.” He panted.

“What are you thanking me for, slut?”

“Punishing me?”

“Is that a question or an answer?” Janus chided, setting down the flogger down on Logan’s back for a moment as he went to retrieve a chair from the corner of the room.

“A-an answer, Master. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Logan had to collect himself before answering, “Not understanding that my dominants can use me whenever they please.”

“That’s right.” Janus pulled the chair up beside Logan and went to put the flogger back in exchange for another tool, “See? If you understand that, why did you have to be such a little brat?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Master, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again I swear-”

Logan was cut off with a loud smack of a paddle coming down on his backside. He yowled in pain and rocked against the bench, seeking to get away from the source of his pain.

“The question was rhetorical, pet.” Janus said, sitting down and letting another hit land, “This time, I want you to tell me exactly what you are after each hit. Understood?”

Logan whimpered, “Y-es, Master.”

Smack.

“I’m your toy to use!”

“I think you’re more than that, darling.”

Smack.

“I-I’m your slut, Master!”

“And what else?”

Smack.

“Y-your little whore! Ah!”

Smack.

“Your plaything!”

Smack.

“Your painslut!”

Smack.

This continued until Logan was a sobbing mess who was repeating various states of ownership Janus had over him. With one last hit with the paddle, he was begging without even knowing why he was doing it.

“P-please please Master, I-I’m so sorry please- use me! Please, use me!”

Janus let the paddle fall to the floor with a loud thud. He ran a hand over Logan’s ass and thighs, admiring his work. The skin was red and bruised, just like how Logan had asked. Janus pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, standing up and picking up the paddle to put it away.

“I think you’ve learned your lesson.” He spoke softly now, “Will you be good from now on?”

“Y-es.” Logan said with a broken sob.

“Good boy. Now that that’s over, we can have some real fun.”

“What?” Logan questioned. He was sobbing, completely broken from his punishment, and there was still more to come?

“You think I’m through with you? Oh, you poor dumb pet, we’re not finished until your pretty little ass is bleeding and I’ve fucked it at least twice.” Janus stepped in front of him again, leaning forward on his polished black cane, “Do I have to teach you that lesson all over again?”

“N-no Master.”

“Good. Now don’t forget to count.”

[pencilpat]

Sanders Sides: College AU - Part 6

Character sheets | Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

“Did you not enjoy meeting me?” Patton tries to ignore the sweat on their skin as though these simple questions are an interrogation. “I did enjoy meeting you, J! You’re fun to talk to.”

Patton continues to be tangled in the coils of Janus's not-well-thought-out revenge plans. Virgil is struggling over the changes his partner is exhibiting. Remus and Roman decide some things matter more than drama from high school.

3,012 words

[CW: manipulation, drug mentions, character experiencing psychosis, mentions of panic attacks, alcohol mentions, discussion of holiday related trauma, abusive father mention, abusive mother mention, codependent familial relationship]

▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸▸

The charms on Patton’s phone clack against each other as they walk down the street, glancing hurriedly around for a particular park bench between a bakery café and a bar. They glance at the texts from their new friend J one more time, scrolling up slightly through several days of messages just to check they have everything right. It’s midday on a weekend, and Patton may or may not have had to tell a small fib to get time away from the others; nothing terrible, they just told them they had some shopping to do.

They clutch their phone at their chest, nervously glancing up at a bakery with the correct name. They look around the sidewalk as they come up to it, landing on a bench right outside. The green painted wood stands out cheerily in an area of town where most color comes from neon signs promising your wildest of parties. It’s empty, however, and they hum to themselves and sit down, smoothing out their overall-dress with a heavy sigh.

Pat: Hey J! I’m here, where are u?

They fire off a confused text, rubbing their forehead and adjusting their glasses. The bakery wafts warm smells out at them that nearly, almost, cover the reek of the bars all around it. It’s a quiet little spot that seems so out of place… It’s kind of cute, with a wood cabin façade on the front of the brick building and rows of pastries in the window.

🍏❤: Look up

Patton rereads her message twice, glancing up and blinking rapidly around. From the glass door of the café, they finally see her, waving them inside with a glimmering smile and black gloved hands. Patton sighs in relief and enters the store, face to face with her.

“Hi J! I thought you might have bailed on hanging out for a moment.”

“Oh, Pat, please. I would never turn down an opportunity with you.”

Patton giggles slightly. “You say that like we’ve been friends for years instead of this being our third time even meeting up!”

J shrugs at them, a wry grin crossing the corners of her lips. She gestures around at the incredibly cozy looking bakery with armchairs and coffee tables instead of restaurant tables. “Is this more your thing than the bars we tried last time?”

“Oh!” Patton touches their chest, appreciating being thought of like that. “Um, yes, this is nicer and calmer. Those bars were a lot for me. So was being drunk.”

J smirks. “Yes, I could gather that considering you almost threw up in the bathroom.”

“Hey, don’t kick someone when they’re down, J!” Patton jokes, patting at her arm repeatedly. Looking over at the counter and the menu above it, Patton sees pastries, several coffees, and a whole separate menu of hot chocolates. “I guess it is getting close to the holidays,” they murmur as the two of them approach. Janus glances at them, but just proceeds with ordering a mint cocoa. Patton ends up settling on a Mexican style hot cocoa, which has never let them down in deliciousness before.

As they both sit down, Janus leans her chin on her hands. “So, what is it about the holidays that made you look like a shellshocked war vet all of a sudden?”

“Oh!” Patton tries to wipe anything but a smile off of their face. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to worry about it!”

“Hm, who said I was worried. Curious would perhaps be a more accurate word. Don’t you enjoy them? Sitting down with those you love and pretending, for just a moment in time, that all is well…” Janus trails off in thought, eyes closing.

“I think it’s all that pretending that I don’t like about it, actually. I had to pretend everything was just fine one too many times on Christmas day.”

“Oh?”

Patton flinches at their own revealing words. The distant image of their dad’s used needles on the coffee table alongside wrapping paper rotates in their mind, a thought they can’t banish. They knock their knuckles on the wooden armrests three times, taking a breath and holding it for a moment. The image moves on. “Yeah, the holidays weren’t… the best of times, growing up. Well, nothing was really the best of times back then.”

J says nothing for a moment, before realizing Patton has stopped. “Leaving me on a cliffhanger, Pat?”

“I don’t really like talking about it-“

The conversation is cut off by the appearance of a barista who sets their drinks in front of them with a wave. Patton picks up the red mug they were given, blowing on the steam and floating around a lone cinnamon stick inside of it. Decidedly not making eye contact. J stares at them, resting her gloved hands over the warm mug and drinking in the heat on her cold limbs. She massages her throat, deciding on a tone of voice to use. Concern? Guilt tripping? Passive aggressive? ‘Genuine’ kindness?

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” she says, settling on a compassionate, slightly upset tone. “But I just want to help, in any area I can.”

Patton shifts in their chair, and meets her eyes again with a tired sigh. “No, it’s okay, I know you just… just want to help. I don’t like talking about my childhood a lot of the time.” Janus nods, preparing to catalogue information for later. “It wasn’t a good one. My dad wasn’t a good guy, honestly, but- but he was very good at pretending to be. Went to church every Sunday, did substances in his free time, you know, typical hypocritical religious man.” Patton laughs uncomfortably, and Janus tilts her head, raising an eyebrow. Patton sips their still scalding cocoa, trying to hide or divert somehow. “A-anyways, he’s gone now. I don’t talk to my mom either, so… yeah.”

“Seems like you have a storied past, Pat. Does your… boyfriend take good care of you, at least? Did you take him out somewhere like I suggested?”

“Oh, he does take good care of me, yes! We both help each other with our mental health a lot.” Patton rubs their hand over the side of the mug anxiously. “I tried taking him somewhere during school hours as a surprise like you said might work, but I don’t know, I think it just upset him. There’s been some personal drama in our friend group.”

“Oh, has there?” she says. Janus represses the urge to be pleased with herself, because Patton seems upset in a way that even she doesn’t feel comfortable toying with.

“Yeah… Our housemate’s brother had to be kicked out.”

“Really?” she says, faux shocked. “And what caused that?”

“He was… involved with drugs,” Patton whispers. “And it was really- It- It could have put my friends in danger. We were being harassed by his dealers.”

“Was he not your friend as well?”

“Not… not in a real, genuine way. We would argue more than actually enjoy being around each other. We had very different ideas about right and wrong.”

“And what are your ideas on right and wrong, Pat?”

Patton chuffs out a light laugh. “Well, the main point of contention we argued on was that drugs are absolutely never a good thing, especially if other people are involved too.”

“Right, and that’s why you were out drinking alone when we met.”

Patton tenses up and hides in another sip of too-hot cocoa. “That was my first time ever- I do not go out. Not, at least, before we met.”

“Did you not enjoy meeting me?”

Patton tries to ignore the sweat on their skin as though these simple questions are an interrogation. “I did enjoy meeting you, J! You’re fun to talk to.”

“Well, at least I have that going for me. God forbid I secretly be a drug dealer or something, could you imagine?”

“You’re… not, are you?”

Janus’s smile falls dramatically into a near cartoonish disappointed frown, and she raises an eyebrow at them. “I was joking, no, I don’t do any substances but booze.”

“Okay, good, ha,” Patton relaxes a slight bit, breathing out a low breath. “How about you, J? I revealed some childhood of mine – how was yours?”

“Definitely just as bad as yours, sweetie.” It’s Janus’s turn to awkwardly sip at her mug, feeling small all of a sudden, as though the entire world is watching her rather than the single, spectacled gaze of her new 'bestie.' Patton stares at her curiously until the silence is making her uncomfortable. “I haven’t talked to either of my parents since I was 15 if that tells you anything.”

“Why’s that?”

Janus sighs through her nose, eyes closing tiredly for a moment as she picks her words carefully. “I got kicked out to put it simply. My parents were very traditional, only second-generation immigrants with a whole lot of strong ideals and desires about my future. They didn’t take kindly to having a trans kid, to say the least.” Patton nods, eyebrows creased sympathetically, encouraging her to keep going. “I made it on my own from there. Now, here I am. Voila.”

“That was a lot of words to tell me almost nothing at all, J,” Patton teases her lightly.

“I don’t prefer divulging so much information when I’ve met someone all of three times.”

Patton shrugs, humming. “That’s fair, I won’t pry! I don’t have a crowbar anyways.”

Janus chuckles, rolling her eyes just slightly. “Ugh, wordplay. Anyways. How is your drink?”

“Oh, it’s very nice! Hot cocoa never misses though, so it’s to be expected,” Patton smiles across at her. Janus hums, drinking deep from her mug, letting the warm feeling replace her pain just for a moment. She needs to remain unrecognized, but damn is it rough to get around without her crutches. The mint and chocolate taste does a good job of flooding her sense out. She sighs out a breath, peeking at Patton through one eye.

“This is nice. Very relaxing, quiet. Never thought I could enjoy an activity that is basically just sitting there.”

“Well, just sitting there can be nice! Especially with a friend.”

Janus smiles, though whether it’s a reaction to the kindness or a grim nod to how far from friendship this really is, even she couldn’t tell you. “I’m glad you feel that way, Pat. I suppose we can do more things at ‘your pace’ from here on; I’ve realized I just might need the relaxation. Plus, you are ever-interesting to learn about.”

Patton smiles at her sheepishly, and her lips split into a smile as well, teeth bared and glimmering under her thick black lipstick.

--

They’ve attempted to practice this song before, so Virgil lets himself get very, very into it, banging the drums like he has a personal vendetta against percussion instruments while Roman attempts to keep up on his bass guitar. Roman sweatily plays the last notes of the song, but Virgil doesn’t stop playing, seemingly just starting right back into the drums for the chorus in a loop, his eyes closed and face scrunched up.

“Virgil!” Roman attempts to call out to him four times, and eventually just walks up to him and catches the cymbal as he was about to hit it, muffling it and finally startling him out of his trance. “Earth to emo, the song’s over already!” Virgil just stares at him for a moment, panting with wide eyes.

“Uh- Sorry. I got caught up in it.”

“No kidding,” Roman snarks, leaning against his kit. “How are we supposed to have a successful recording if you are dead set on becoming the next Def Leopard?”

“Sorry, jeeze,” Virgil mumbles. He begins getting up and moving towards their water bottles, and Roman can’t help noticing how stiff and uncomfortable he looks.

“Virgil?” he stops him. “Hey, is something amiss?”

Virgil sighs, chugs a large gulp of water, and then wipes his brow. “Yeah, it’s- I’m fine, it’s nothing serious.”

“You are acting fishier than sushi Sundays, just tell me what’s up.”

Virgil groans. “I dunno. Patton’s just been… weird lately. Have you noticed it at all?”

Roman tries to think, tapping his chin. “Nothing outside of their usual oddities.”

“They’ve been veering into really upsetting territory for me lately.” Roman makes an inquiring hum, and Virgil grimaces. “Really quick to tell white lies and immediately assure me it won’t have any consequences. They also stay up in the living room most nights instead of coming to bed with me early like they used to. And they keep leaving the house for seemingly no reason.”

“Not necessarily the most unlike them they could act, but it is odd. Do you think it could be new rituals? Do they need their meds adjusted?”

Virgil shakes his head. “I mean, I don’t know. They haven’t needed their meds changed in at least half a year; they’ve been really stable anxiety-wise? It’s just- just weird, and I don’t like it. It keeps making me have panic attacks.”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that. Have you spoken with them about it yet?”

“No, I’m too nervous that I’m just being… being over-cautious.” Virgil pulls up his hood, gripping the sides of it and worrying with the fabric. “What if I bring it up and they think I’m being crazy?”

Roman touches his hands with his, for once gloveless, fingers, looking at him seriously. “You know for a fact Patton would never in their life call you crazy, especially when you are just concerned for them. Whatever it is, I know they’ll let us know when they feel like they can. Until then, I know it’s asking much from you, but trust them.”

Virgil grimaces, but it fades into a soft smile. “Thanks for reassuring me, Rom, I’m sorry. Just get a little anxious sometimes.”

“Oh please, in another universe, the name on your birth certificate is ‘Anxiety’ Addams instead,” Roman teases. Virgil scoffs, then swipes Roman’s bangs into his face, leaving him sputtering on his own hair as they both laugh.

--

Roman is already settled cozily in bed and half asleep when his phone begins ringing, and he groans at it dramatically for ruining his sleep. He fumbles on his bedside table and pulls the bright light into view. He nearly drops the phone in his urgency to pick it up the second his sleepy eyes register Remus’s contact name.

“Remus! You’re calling me?! You dick, just text me when I te-“

“Do you hate me, Roman?”

Roman just kind of freezes in place, listening to his twin’s very heavy breathing. “Remus? Are you okay?”

Remus laughs shakily on the other end. “Change of environment finally caught up with me. The stress of ignoring you did too, I guess.”

Roman cups the phone against his ear as though it could count as comforting Remus across the phone line. “I don’t hate you, no. I don’t think I could manage it as much as I like to pretend I can.” Roman replies to him with as much sober sincerity as he posed the question. “You’re my brother, you know?”

“Being their son didn’t make them love me. I don’t know why you’d uphold family ties so much after everyone else got rid of me.” Roman hears Remus’s breath hitch, and he knows instantly that he must be feeling things grabbing his legs again. It’s a common but very distressing hallucination for him.

“Remus, mom and dad can suck shit,” Roman declares, and to his happiness, it draws a more genuine sounding chuckle from his twin. He can’t help smiling at the sound of his stupid laugh. “Maybe family ties are bullcrap, but whatever you and I have isn’t anything like how mom and dad ‘showed love.’ We actually love each other, like real fucking family.” Roman pauses, listening to Remus breathe again, proving his twin is there to himself. “I did promise I’d always take care of you. Nothing about that has changed.”

“It has though, y’know?” Remus’s voice shakes slightly. “We’re adults, like fully now, and we can’t be that close anymore.”

“Why not?”

“It wouldn’t be healthy for two 20ish bros to share a bed, no offence but I don’t like you like that,” Remus jokes, making Roman snort out a laugh and roll his eyes.

“Remus, you’re such an idiot. I do concede that I never want to share a bed with you again because you stink,” Remus laughs on the other end, but Roman continues. “But us doing that isn’t the extent of brother-ness. You were sick, like really sick, back then. We can care for each other… outside the context of suffering, too.”

“Even though I went and stayed with her? Do you really think Virgil could handle you still talking to me regularly?”

Roman sighs. “Look- Just- Some things are more important than that stupid godawful fight from high school. You and I weren’t even involved, we just had to physically put ourselves between them.”

“Didn’t know Virgil was capable of being that scary TBH,” Remus mutters, pronouncing each letter of the acronym.

“Yyyeah, me either up until then.” He sighs. “We couldn’t exactly not take his side, you know?”

“We could have not taken sides at all!”

“Remus, look, Janus isn’t – or at least wasn’t – a good person or a good friend, and even if you’re talking to her, don’t bring her into me and Virgil’s lives if you can help it. Please?” Roman listens to him breathe in deeply.

“I won’t, don’t worry about that. Look your highness, I need to go and smoke a joint, or else this episode is just getting worse for the night, but Roman?”

“Yes Remus?”

“I promise I won’t ignore your texts anymore. See you never, loser.”

“See you in tartarus , you jerk,” Roman says playfully, rolling his eyes. “And… Love you.”

There’s a pause of silence and shifting for a bit longer than comfortable. “Love you too, Rom,” Remus says, quickly hanging up and leaving Roman alone in the darkness again.

[fakeloveaskblog]

(Hi, me again.)

Hey Janus I’m back. So Remus seems to be doing okay. He’s struggling a bit but he seems to be in control and was up for talking. I won’t tell you exactly what he said incase he views that as a breach of trust but I can tell you he doesn’t seem like he’s in serious danger or anything like that.

Now about that kiss. He said he enjoyed it and would be happy to do it again. I’m summarising of course, he had much more to say about it than just that. But rest assured he seemed very pleased by it.

Glow Eyes

(there are sexual acts partly described under the read more. It’s not smut but it’s a scene that takes place right before/after sex so it is quite nsfw. No major plot points will be missed if u skip it. Also I am too tired to proofread sorry)

Janus was groggily looking around. You hadn't woken them up but they had half woken up just before since the bed had felt weirdly empty. They still only had a one person bed so when they and Remy slept crammed up together it was very noticeably if one of them left.

Your soft light made it easier for them to look around. The only other light shone in through a slight crack in the bedroom door. Janus squinted at you while yawning.

"Come to show me christmas past and present?" They asked sarcastically.

For a moment they got distracted as they could swear they heard Remy's muffled voice. They'd assumed their partner had just gone off for some water but it sounded more like they were taking a phone call.

Janus shook it off and tried to focus as you talked. He appreciated that you didn't tell him anything you hadn't gotten permission from Remus to tell.

When you told him about how Remus had reacted to the kiss you couldn't help but notice that the blanket suddenly moved a lot as Janus excitedly kicked his feet around while grinning.

"Thanks for the information darling. I will talk to him about it as soon as I see him"

A sigh of relief left their lips as they turned to their back. Their cheeks were too flushed and their brain too excited to fall back asleep right now so they continued to read a murder mystery laying on the bedsidetable.

They hadn't gotten much longer than a page before the bedroom door quietly glided open and Remy crept in. Their footsteps were nearly silent and he hated the thought of why they had had to learn to be so silent.

Their eyewhites stood out like candlelights in the dark. They leant down as their hand fumbled after the blanket. Janus reached out and let their fingertips meet.

"Good morning deary. Heard some talking just now. Is it anything serious or are you hiring an assasian on me?"

Remy instantly went pale and their eyes stared downwards to avoid his gaze "Sorry I like woke you up-"

"I'm not mad at you!" Janus quickly clarified "You can make as many phone calls in the middle of the bloody night as you want to. And you speaking didn't wake me. I'm not angry. This isn't an interogation. You don't even have to tell me who you talked to"

Their shoulders relaxed as they sat down on the edge of the bed. Their fingers intertwined with his "It was one of Rowan's friends I think? She had an australian accent?" They started to smile "She asked if I could help tailor some of her clothes"

"Huh. Word must have spread about your prowness"

Remy snorted "I'm guessing Remus like told Rowan to go round telling people bout me so I wouldn't be like totally workless"

"I'm glad either way" His fingers played against his partner's wrist as he watched them in the dim night light "Since when did you start sleeping without a shirt on? I feel like I would quite clearly remember if you always did that or not"

They gnawed onto the inside of their cheek as they blushed slightly "I just kinda had like weird fucking dysphoria 'bout my chest like 24/7 before. I did't like showing it- AND Like girl I KNOW nothing has like changed since I started E or anything it just like kinda feels different. I feel more...comfy y'know?"

"In my humble opinion you look good"

"Yeah better than you sleeping in fucking pyjamas like some ghost from the 1800 century!"

"Quite sure they wore nightgowns to bed during the 1800s"

Remy waved the fact of while rolling their eyes. They gave Janus a big wet smooch while he moved the blanket over so they could get under it. They cuddled down on top of him so they were laying chest to chest.

"I must admit darling I do find you excedingly attractive. The only reason I have been taken it so slow with my advances is because I don't want to make you feel pressured into anything"

"What a fancy way to say you're horny"

"I will literally die if I'm not extra and formal at the same time"

His hand was leant against his partner's waist with his fingers playing with the waistband of their underwear. He leant close and whispered something private into their ear that made them turn all red.

He moved his other hand around their shoulder, moving his fingers up and down their spine. They in turn sneaked their hands up under his pjyama shirt.

"It's only right then for you to like take your shirt of for like equiality and stuff" Remy said while rubbing their nose against his.

He met them in a kiss "Can't argue against that"

Remy thought their partner's vitiligo patches were so hot. They were like little maps pointing out where to kiss him. They let their tongue fall against the skin of his nipple and they could hear his heart beating out through the layers of skin tissue and bones.

Janus murmured out a question of what they preferred and they got so caught of guard they stopped nibbling at his chest. ‘Been a while since I was asked’ They said before actually mumbling out a response to his question. He looked at them with the entire confidence of an amateur baker having to make a weeding cake ‘I’ll try my best’

Things continued as they usually did in moments like this. They started to tug at the lining of his pyama pants but it didn’t budge since not only he was laying down but they were laying on top of him. They let him move them to their back so their head was hanging off the side of the bed so he could take the pants off leaving him in his underwear.

He remembred the way they would flinch if anyone got too close to touching their neck so instead he focused his kisses against their waist, the sharp bones sticking up, the movement of their ribs as they breathed. When Remy’s hands weren’t busy they bit on their nails while heir eyes searched for his which made Jan turn all kinds of shades of red.

He tried to as smoothly possible reach otu and fumble his hand around on the nightstand while continuing to kiss them. He accidentally knocked his book down before managing to get the drawer open only to find out it was empty aside from a pair of reserve glasses Logan had left at his place.

Janus pressed himself up by his hans into a half sitting position and his eyes stagnated as he tried to think. “Lubes gone”

“GIRL!?”

A metaphorical lightbulb went off as Janus remembred where it was. He tried to stand up from the bed so quickly he fell down onto the floor. He tried to look cool and sexy as he got up and dusted himself off.

“Going to the kitchen!”

“Why the hell is your lube in the fucking kitchen!?” Remy exclaimed.

“Logan was over for dinner and he brought red wine!” Janus yelled out as an explanation while leaving the room.

Remy pouted to themself while waiting. They tried a few different ways of laying to maybe surprise him with their supposed hotness before cringing at themself and just sitting awkwardly in the middle of the bed. The poked at the part of the blanket that was still helplessly hanging onto the bed until it completely fell down to the floor.

The door suddenly fully opened and it took a second before Remy realized Janus must have just moved it with their foot. Jan leant against the doorframe while trying to spin their underwear around the finger in a suave way but really they were just surprised at how cold the wind in the apartment was when all nude.

Remy whissled to try to encourage them and held their arms out as Jan plopped down on the bed again. They set the lube aside while laying down beside them.

“Hi” Jan murmured.

“Hello” Their finger was stroking circles against his chest. “....Could I be on my stomach?...Please?...Sometimes it feels weird to like look each other in the eyes and stuff while fucking”

“If that makes you more comfortable, sure” 

He felt their cold hands run down past his back as he leant in to kiss them.

,

At first when Remy bit down into the bedsheet Janus thought it meant they were enjoying it. It took some more time, mostly because he had his face pressed against the sweaty skin on their back as he kissed them, before he noticed anything more.

Trembling could be normal during sex but their body had gone so stiff and them so eerily quiet Janus decided to stop. His first thought was to grab onto the blanket and hold it out to them in case they wanted to cover themself.

“Am I doing something wrong?” He asked.

Remy rolled over onto their back and looked up at him with half opened eyes “nah babe” Parts of their limbs were still twitching.

“Am I....hurting you?” His voice cracked in the middle as he asked. His hands reaching out to hold theirs.

“No!” They shook their head as hard as they could “Babe you’re not doing anything. My body just gets all hurt if I excersise and like sex is a form of excersise aint it. It’s my back mostly””

“I’m sorry dear, I got so caught up in the moment I forgot to consider-”

“it’s cool” Remy waved it off “It’s always like this. You can just continue till you’re done”

“But you’d be in-” Janus stopped for a moment as they realized “....Were you trying to hide your face from me...so I would’nt be able to tell you were in pain?”

“Having your partner look all in pain tots breaks the mood doesn’t it. Look I’m sorry I really don’t mean to ruing the mood like this and like complain about my stupid pain. I know how annoying it is to like stop midway through so you can just keep going. It’s fine”

Janus’ first instinct was to loudly proclaim what bullshit that was before they realized Remy probably wouldn’t be convinced by that sort of argument. They laid next to their partner so their faces were close together and instead said

“I won’t be able to be pleasured if I know you are in a pain you dont want to be in because of it”

“I’m sorry”

“Hey now darling. We have two decent brains. If we work together I am sure we will be able to figure out ways to make this work” 

He pressed a gentle kiss against their cheek while his hand moved down to lightly massage the spot near their spine he knew it usually hurt the worse. They in turn let out a giggle of glee as they let their hands run down past his back and grab onto his soft skin.

“There’s less chance of your pain getting flared up if you’re sitting up right, correct?”

“Yeah babe”

“Easy then” He kissed their ear before murmuring out “You could sit on the bed with your back against the wall and I could ride you or-”

The two of them continued to whisper out ideas like that while hands trailed down to crotches and kisses were given, but the details aren’t necessery.

“The pain is like subsiding now Jannnnie”

The way they dragged out the sounds of his name made him blush as he asked to be sure if they wanted to continue. They laid on their back as they mumbled out a yes before feeling kisses being pressed against their stomach as Janus moved down.

--

“Girlie I did not think you would be this slow in the shower”

“I have at least 30% more skin to clean than you do you walking stickbug”

Remy didn’t have to ask for help to get out of the shower. Janus simply reached out his hand and let them lean on him as their unsteady legs moved out onto the bathtowel laying on the bathroom floor.

It was the middle of the night by now but neither of them had wanted to go to sleep before getting cleaned up. Remy dried their hair while hearing their partner hum some show tune as he cleaned off the soap.

Janus couldn’t see them anymore since the shower curtain was in the way but he could hear them sit down on the tiled floor. He was just about done when he heard them say

“Jannybabe?”

“Yeah?”

“....I think I might be asexual”

“Was I that bad” He answered sarcastically.

He could immediately hear as their breathing nearly stopped and their body rushed to get up, to get away, to get somewhere safe “I’m like SO sorry I didn’t mean it like-”

“It was a stupid comment Remy. Excuse me, I couldn’t hold back my snark” He turned the water off and moved the curtain to meet their eyes “I’m not mad at you. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me”

“Thanks- uhm thanks for like taking it well”

“Does your asexuality change anything? Should I change how I act in any way?”

“Nah uhm I don’t think I’m like uhm Remus I just like- I did enjoy what we did I just like never get the urge to do it unless like you wanna or something”

“But you’re not repulsed by sex or anything? Because trust me you don’t have to lie to make me feel better. I still have Logan to go to and even if I didn’t I am an adult who can handle my own desires”

“No- No Babe I don’t mind. I just dunno how often I will be in the mood. I’m not like the every day type of person I guess but I uh I like liked your thighs. They’re soft and kissable and hot and I think it’s adorable that you got like a vitiligo patch on your butt and stuff and yeah I think I could go on ‘cause your body is good real good and stuff like yeah uhm”

Janus snorted “Thanks darling. You can go sleep if you want to, I’ll just finish showering real quick”

“I’ll wait”

A few minutes later he heard Remy quietly laughing to themself so he stuck his head out again to see what was going on. They waved it off.

“Nothing. Nothing. Remus is just pulling an all nighter and texted me it’s just like a week left till his art show”

Another airy fit of laughter left them.

“And also- And this is stupid but-” 

And here they let up into the kind of smile that reaches the eyes.

“I realized, I think I’m happy”

[sentient-stove]

Midsummer’s Song

Fandoms: Sanders Sides

Characters: Roman, Logan, Remus, Janus, Virgil, Patton

Relationships: Logan & Roman & Remus, Virgil/Roman, Virgil & Janus, Remus & Janus, Patton & Virgil

Additional Tags: Fae Au, seelie and unseelie, NB Virgil, NB Janus, Changeling!Logan, Unseelie!Janus, Seelie!Virgil, slightly U!Janus

Summary: Roman knows of the fae.  His mother leaves out cream for them in exchange for protection and his brother Logan is a changeling.  What happens when he makes a deal in exchange for Remus back?

Word count: 2023

Notes: I actually wrote this in a sort of ‘choose the next plot point’ on my discord with the help of @ohlookanotherdumbfanboy and @astrozones  Anyway, enjoy!

AO3

Do you believe the fae walk among us?

Little Roman listens with wide eyes as his mama pours cream into a bowl, her singing softly filling the air as she sets the bowl out on the window sill, mixing it with a tiny bit of nutmeg before turning to her son.

“Come Little Prince, it’s long past your bedtime.”  She scoops him into her arms, still singing as she carries him upstairs.

“Mama, I wanna see the fairy pleases?”

“Not tonight.  They come when they please, and it does us mortals well to not look.”

Roman begrudgingly lets her tuck him in.

But when she’s out of the room, he throws off his covers and goes to the window.  Roman watches for a long time, but the shadows never melt to show a Faery and after a few hours, he falls asleep with his fists pressed against the glass.

In the morning, the cream is gone, replaced by a shimmery pendant on a silver chain.

His mother says that they’ve been blessed by an Unseelie as she puts it on her son.

Roman isn’t so sure.

…

Roman is ten when his mother comes home with a boy made of fae blood and human flesh.  

A changeling, abandoned when his family discovered that he was not one of them.  Logan holds himself differently than Roman and he wears a wood and resin amulet that makes it so he can touch things that fae normally couldn’t.

“This is your brother now.”

Roman doesn’t fight with her, he instead grabs Logan by the hand the way that only children do and he asks him if he’s ever seen one.

“Of course I haven’t.  I’ve been with mortals for as long as I can remember.”  Logan is usually solemn for a ten year old, but Roman shrugs it off and drags him outside to look at the pixie garden that he’s been building.

…

Roman is fifteen when the Unseelie attempts to take him.  It’s almost midnight and he was camping in the backyard with Logan and Mama.  They were both sound asleep, but Roman got up and snuck out of the tent, standing just inside the salt ring that surrounds the small canvas tent.

“Hello child.”

Roman turns to see the Fae, who has golden eyes and scales down one side of his face.

They’re breathtaking.

And devastatingly beautiful.   Roman feels his breath catch as he bows.

“Tell me your name, child.”  The Fae’s eyes flash as Roman watches.

“My Mama told me that I should never give a Faery my name.”

“Very well.  But you do have a something I can call you, no?”

Roman nods, throat dry.  “You may call me Prince.”

“Hmmm, your mother calls you that sometimes, doesn’t she?  She leaves out the sweetest offerings…  Are you tonight's snack?”  The fae bares fangs and Roman takes a delicate step back.

“No, it’s on the window sill.”

“Hmm, come with me?”

“No thank you.”

The fae laughed.  “Clever Prince!  I suppose I should leave you a gift?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”  Roman shifted back and forth on his feet as the fae pulled off a glove and scooped up some of the salt from the ring.

“Here’s my gift child.  Salt only works on the Seelie.”

And with that, they were gone, leaving Roman to stand alone in shock as the wind whispered in laughter at him.

Needless to say, he didn’t get that much sleep once he crawled into the tent.

…

It’s summer when the singing lures him outside of the house, despite Logan hearing it too and telling him that he should most certainly NOT go and try to find who is the cause of the sound.  He packs his bag with salt and iron, knowing that as dangerous as the Unseelie are during the winter, the Seelie are almost worse during the summer.

Roman did not realize that it was in fact, Midsummer’s.

He followed the song into the woods, walking carefully as he delved into the growing shadows.  It was warm, almost too warm as he avoided a fae circle and the song grew the tiniest bit louder.

It was smooth, the song, and Roman can barely keep himself from staying out of a thall as he enters a clearing where he can see footprints in the grass, it’s obvious that there was a revel at somepoint here.

Now it is empty, for the sole exception if a boy Roman’s age, singing as Roman comes closer.

The song stops and the boy looks up at Roman.  “Hello mortal.”

Roman freezes.  “Faery.”

“You sound surprised.”  The fae stands in a fluid motion, walking over to Roman and running a hand along Roman’s jaw.   “You’re pretty.”

“Thank you?”  Roman reaches for the salt in his pocket, but the fae beats him to it, wrapping a cool hand around his wrist.

“What’s your name?”

“You may call me Prince.”   Roman swallows as the fae looks up at him with bright purple and blue eyes, amusement sparking across his lips.

“Clever mortal.  You may call me V.”

Roman nods and the fae stands on their tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.  The kiss burns and he feels slightly dizzy as magic sparks across his skin.

“Wow.”

“You came to make a deal?  All mortals do.”  The fae backs up, and Roman feels like the air has cooled a thousand degrees.

“I just followed the song.”

“The song attracts fools who need deals.  What is yours my Prince?”

Roman blinked.  “I had a brother once.”

“Hmmm, Remus, I know him well.”  The fae smirks and twirls in a circle before sitting down.  “You should sit Princey.”

Roman sat.

“Now, do you want your brother back?  I do believe the Snake has him currently, he does like the Unseelie during the summer, my kind can be a bit… overwhelming.”  V picks some grass from the ground and begins to weave it together as Roman processes the information.

“He’s alive?”

“As alive as that silly changeling you also call a brother.  Now, a deal so you can see him?” “What do you want?” “How much are you willing to lose?”

The question hangs heavy in the air as Roman removes the pendant that he was gifted almost ten years ago.  He’s worn it every day since the fae that his mother had given cream to had left it there and V’s eyes widen when they see the thing.

“This.”

V reaches for it, pauses and looks at Roman.  “What do you want?”

“My brother.”

V stares and then they’re kissing Roman, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck as the fae makes and seals the deal.  They taste of honey and magic, something dark and bitter, and Roman feels breathless when they part.

“You have him until the Autumn Equinox.”

“What?”  Roman mumbled, still feeling dazed as the fae pushes them further apart.

“Go.” The fae commanded and Roman could see the tiniest bit of panic on their face as he stood and ran back to his home.

…

“Ro?”

“Remus!”

…

Logan can feel the Winter that is coming.

He knows that Roman is about to lose his biological brother.

So after Mama puts out the cream and chases her three sons to bed, he waits outside once he is sure she is gone, until the fae that Roman made a deal with melts out of the shadows.

“Salutations.”

The fae tilts their head.  “Hello changeling.”

“I wish to make a deal.”

The fae, with their bright purple and blue eyes, smiles nervously.  “Many fail.”

“I wish to give you my name in exchange for Remus’ freedom.”  Logan squares his shoulders and the fae pauses.

“Selflessness is unbecoming Logan.”

Logan looked away.  “How do you know my name?”

“The Snake was the one to give it to you, and they are my older sibling.”  The fae shrugs and takes the cream from the window sill, drinking it quickly.   “But we do not deal with changelings.  If there was to be a deal for Remus’ freedom, it would have to be made with Princey.  Farewell.”

Logan would never admit that he cried.

…

Roman was waiting next to Remus as the shadows lengthened as the Snake and V melted out of them.

“Prince.”  V looked mournful and Roman held back a snarl.   Remus was practically shaking from next to him and he knew how much his brother hated the fae.

“Remus, come here.”  The Snake held out a gloved hand and Remus took an unwilling step forward.

“Stop.  I’m here to make a deal.”

The Snake held up their hand., stopping Remus in his tracks.  “Oh?”

“My name for his freedom.”  Roman said solemnly.

The Snake gave a sharp smile.  “Accepted.”

Remus gave Roman a panicked look.  “Can I talk to him privately before you seal it?” V nodded.

Remus pulled Roman out of earshot and pulled his brother into a hug.  “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I know.”

“Stay with V.  They’re your best chance at lasting longer than a few days.”

The brothers broke apart and Roman gently punched Remus.  “Keep Lo safe while I’m gone, okay?” “Okay.”

Roman turned and walked up to V.  “My deal is with you.”

V’s eyes widened and they gently placed a hand on Roman’s face.  “I release Remus in exchange for your name.”

Roman sighed as he felt the magic wind itself around his lungs and heart.  “My name is Roman.”

V kissed him, and again Roman tasted honey and bitterness.

“Come.”

The last thing Roman saw before the shadows covered his eyes was Remus, turning his face as he couldn’t bear to watch his brother get taken.

…

The Snake was the worst.  Luckily Roman only spent a few days with him before V took him to meet the Seelie King.

The Seelie King liked puns.  Mostly because they were as close as a fae could get to lying.   Roman didn’t blame him for that.

Autumn melted into Winter, which changed into Spring, all while he was the pet of the fae.  V never treated him like an animal, but the fear was always there.

Until one night, when Roman got drunk off of elderberry wine and he kissed V again.

“I love you.”

“You jest.”

“Hmmm.  Maybe.  But I wouldn’t’ve drank if I knew that you didn’t care for me.”  Roman hiccuped and kissed V again, tangling his hands in the fae’s hair as they fell to the soft ground.

“Please Ro, you’re drunk.”  V’s face was flush with embarrassment as they pulled back from the kiss.

“A man becomes honest when drunk.  I should know.”  Roman insisted, but the fae was pushing him away.

“I will not when you are inhibited.  I am no snake.”

…

Summer comes.  

Roman listens while V sings, trying to attract unwary mortals to the ring to make deals.

The fae is one of the rare ones that Roman has interacted with in his eight months of being owned, how his deals are always straightforward, how he doesn’t twist his words like the Snake and the King do.

“Why aren’t you like them?”

V stops their singing.  “Like who mortal?” “Like… you know.”

“I am younger and more burned by the actions of mortals.  Sue me.”

“Hmm.”

…

“Virgil.”  V says one day as they pull away from Roman’s kiss, pupils blown wide from the rush.

“Virgil?” “My name.  Do with it what you must.  You can leave if you want, you haven’t consumed fae cursed food, you can leave and break the deal.”

Roman kisses the fae again.  “I won’t.”

“Why?”

Roman opens his mouth to respond but then closes it.  There’s a moment of silence.

“I don’t know.  I might go visit, but I don’t have any desire to leave you…Virgil.”

Virgil looks as if they’ve been shocked and then they’re kissing Roman again, all passion and honey.

Roman will go back, to Logan and Remus, but that’s a problem for another day.  Right now he kisses the Seelie with unsaid words, hoping that every emotion that he’s feeling is conveyed. 

It probably is, considering fae consume emotion.

[kinderes]

janus saying everything going to be okay (kind of)

I wasn’t the one who sent the original message, but it made me feel better so I thought I’d share it! 

[babysizedfics]

Janus: exists

Roman: >:O how dare he!

LITERALLY hsjsjshshsh

wait liv said smth like this last night when i told her abt what happens today:

Janus: is not outwardly aggressive to roman

Roman: wtf do you mean by that?? b*tch

[thecrowslullaby]

Intrulogical with 48, J, 12

Not proofread, but I wanna nap xd

Anon im so sorry I just realised u responded to the wrong ask. OTL

Ship: intulogical

Wordcount: 1230

Warnings: kissing, a few self deprecating thought (Remus)

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.” Remus grinned as Logan kept running, pulling the shorter man behind him. The man made no indication at having heard him but Remus knew his boyfriend. And the way his ears were tinted red told the hufflepuff the man definitely heard him and was fighting with himself not to respond. Not that that was going to stop Remus from lovingly pestering the ravenclaw. “You know, usually I’m the one who gets us into trouble.”

“Can we try to focus, Remus?” Logan hissed, embarrassment seeping through, and oh if that wasn’t just adorable. Remus could grab him by the shoulders, pin him to the wall and kiss restlessly right here and there. And he would, if it weren’t for the professors hot on their tails. And if there was one thing Logan enjoyed less than messing up it was being caught doing so.

“Why don’t you just blame it on me?” Remus asked. The teachers were certainly more than happy to accept him as the sole cause for setting a few cursed toads loose in the corridors. He was an oddity from the beginning. A hufflepuff and a delinquent at once. Certainly not something most professors wanted on the school records. At least Headmaster Janus (and it was disrespectful to call him by his name, Logan’s voice echoed in his mind) was fond of him. He was certain that if that wasn’t the case he would be thrown out onto his ass long ago.

Point was, most students and staff were easy to write Remus off as nothing more than unnecessary trouble, but not Logan. At least not anymore, if the bewildered glance over his shoulder was anything to judge by.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Not that it really mattered, most of the time. That’s why Remus kept insisting Logan shouldn’t announce their relationship to his friends just yet. He was sure he would wise up eventually. And there was no need to put Logan’s future at stake, especially not as the end of the 7th year approached and the teen was applying to jobs like a madman. He would be content with a few fleeting kisses Logan managed to spare over the first half of the semester, spending most of his time with his nose in some kind of obscure book.

Remus on the other hand had spent the time causing as much mischief as he could while still getting away with it. He promised Logan he would try. And for some reason that promise seemed more binding than anything he ever told his parents. Or Janus. Not that the professor needed to know. (Although Remus had a rising suspicion he did. Janus seemed to know an annoying number of things.)

But for some reason today seemed different, and Remus found himself being the one to help Logan out of trouble for once.

“So what do we do?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know.” Logan huffed as he pulled them behind another corner. “That’s why I need your help.”

“You’re the smart one.”

“You’re the more creative one.” Logan pointed out as if that was true. Sure, Remus was always quick to come up with some kind of trouble, but he certainly wasn’t all that good at fixing them. He was good at hiding them though.

He yanked Logan backwards. The taller teen gave a small yelp of surprise as he landed in Remus arms. The Hufflepuff was quick to drag them both into a nearby alcove, pulling slightly on the curtains, just enough to hide them from passing teachers, but not enough to raise suspicion.

“Quiet.” He whispered as he put a hand over Logan’s mouth, pressing the teen as close against his chest as he could. “They might hear us.” Logan seemed to be dazzled for a moment before he nodded slowly and Remus grinned back. 

They watched as the teachers passed by in a flurry of robes, missing the obvious hiding spot. 

He didn’t let go of Logan, not until the footsteps faded and all Remus could hear was two quickened breaths of students who barely avoided detention. Even then, he lingered, just a second longer before releasing Logan from the albeit compromising hug. Logan didn’t step away and Remus was once again tempted to wrap his hands back around him. Plead Logan to stay a little longer. But one thing Remus was not, was selfish.

“Thank you.” Logan whispers. His back still pressed against Remus chest as he tried to turn his head at a weird angle to stare back at him.

“You would have done the same.”

Logan chuckled.

“Not sure I can think so fast.” The teen finally stepped away and it took all of Remus' restraint not to chase the warm feeling of Logan’s back. The ravenclaw turned around, a smile creeping up on his face as he took Remus' hands in his own. He seemed to hesitate for just a moment before casting a glance behind the curtain, most likely making sure the teachers weren’t coming back, and letting go of Remus' hands in order to cup his face instead. “I love you.” He whispered, so sincerely Remus had trouble convincing himself not to let his heart flutter. He didn’t succeed, not when Logan leaned in, ever so slightly, their lips just inches apart. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes please.” He wasn’t sure why Logan still asked. Not like he ever said no before. But he supposed that was just another part of Logan. The teen never stopped asking questions, wanting answers for them all. It was a funny feeling. Being something Logan wanted to know more about.

Oblivious to his inner turmoil Logan leaned in, capturing Remus lips with his own. The hufflepuff melted as he felt Logan’s hand slowly travel up his cheek, to the back of his head, only for the ravenclaw to finally tangle his curls with his long slender fingers. Remus wasted no time to return the favor. Messing up Logan’s hair as he pulled the teen closer. The ravenclaw let out a small sound that was a mix of a laugh and a yelp and oh, Remus could just swallow him whole.

And after what felt like far too soon Logan pulled back. Hair messed up, morning light hitting it just right to cast a halo. Face delightfully red. His tie far too crooked, even for Remus’ standards, and the teen wanted nothing more than to grab Logan by it and pull him closer.

But the ravenclaw didn’t let him, stepping away as he did his best to comb the mop of tangled back hair into order using his fingers. Adjusting his tie, before flashing Remus a grin that was far too endearing.

“I need to go.” He whispered, trying to keep his voice serious, and failing miserably as Remus grinned up. “I should go check what the commotion is about.”

“You go help the teacher chase that delinquent who’s responsible for this.” Remus snorted. “I’ll be here in case you need someone to blame it on.”

“I won’t.” Logan said, leaning in to give Remus a quick peck on the cheek.  “Don’t get into trouble.”

“I could say the same to you.”

Logan huffed, his cheeks going red.

“It was one time.”

And with how delightful it turned out to be, Remus sure hoped it wasn’t the last.

[transfemlogan]

FATHER. INTO YOUR HANDS, I COMMEND MY SPIRIT. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Instagram

(Please click for better quality!)

[ID: a heavily edited drawing of Janus Sandeds from Sanders sides. He is sitting on a pedestal and leaning back. His right knee is slightly up in the air. His right foot is tucked underneath his left calf. He is holding a staff/crook in both hands and is holding it up in the air diagonally. He is wearing a bright yellow button-up shirt tucked into a long black skirt. A little, green tail pokes out from behind his skirt. A black captlet sits on his shoulders and a white, small loose bow is tied around his neck with his shirt collar over it. Both the caplet and skirt have a large, white edge. He is wearing bright yellow shoes with orange-gold accents, black socks, and orange-gold gloves. His hat is black with a white stripe. Along the edge of the hat is a medium sized, white veil. He has a light brown bob haircut with two front pieces curling around his face. He is staring down at the viewer with a painful, but soft expression. He has one dark brown eye and one lime green. There's hair on his legs. In his forehead is a bullet wound. There is blood spilling down his face and squirting out of the wound. The pedestal is covered in green and yellow vines, along with his legs and staff. The vines on his staff have blackberries growing on them. In the background is a large flower bush with multiple types of white and yellow flowers. The sky is a greyish blue with scattered clouds. Behind his head is a faint dark blue circle. Light is shining from the top right. The entire background has white, transparent dots. The image has a noise filter overlayed. In the corner is the artist's signature that ate the letters I, U, and D in orange and outlined in black. /end ID]

Below cut is a close-up

[ID: the same drawing as above, but cropped to show his head and torso. /end ID]

[goodieghostyarchive]

Wanna draw the femsides interacting with the OGs s o bad rn but alas, my hand refuses. So-

The reason they even m e e t is because Thomas bonks his head on someone else who a l s o has her own facets. It's weird, kinda bridges their minds in a way. Super weird. Don't think too much on it. It's either that or Thomas somehow wanders into a different dimension?? Which-is super confusing. Moving on

Each Side goes to their own respective place in the mind palace-only things are just slightly off.

First thing Virgil did was flop onto "his" bed. Probably to just lay there and scroll aimlessly through tumblr. And the second he does he glances up at the ceiling and there's this fckin purple emo chick just gawking at him. "...." "...." and then cue screaming and pillows being chucked back and forth and loud demands of "What are you doing in my room?!" From both of them

Eventually they tire themselves out and form a truce long enough to figure out something is real funky and he's not supposed to be there.

Patton ends up in the kitchen and-okay literally he just started helping Patti bake cookies and it wasn't until after they were done that they realized "I thought I was seeing double!" Right at the same time. Best friends immediately. They just keep baking and chatting and then they play video games

Logan figures out something is incredibly wrong right away. Everything is organized but n o t where he had placed them. The second Loren comes in they just ".... I'll grab a white board." Immediate theorizing. Logan finds Loren a little... overbearing, but he's fascinated with this whole thing

Roman and Remus find themselves together-which is definitely not the plan. But neither of them can sink out. Which is odd. They're on what appears to be a battlefield. And suddenly there's this armored figure right in front of them just, scrutinizing them something fierce. And t h e n this fcking cackling mad woman on a six-legged horse comes riding up spouting some nonsense about "fighting art block" and Romona just holds her hand up for her sister to grab so she can swing herself up onto the horse and resume the fight.

It's an epic fight. And after everything disappears into a blank slate Renée is just "... aren't you gonna poof the goobers?" "I didn't make them-I thought y o u made them?" And it's just a confusing thing all around.

Remus and Renée get along great. But Romona is more reserved-b u t appears to make an effort once Renée clears them.

Janus doesn't actually meet his counterpart until after everyone is brought together in the common room. Janice just, coming in all "And what is it that's so exciting that it's getting my girls all worked up-oh no. Several white men." Virgil hisses at her, of course. And Vi is just, "Dude?"

Janus and Janice get along v well. Though it appears like they don't with their catty natures.

Things are very different between all of them. For one thing, Loren and Janice have the most influence, with Creativity taking a backseat in most decisions.

Cut to Tabitha, the femsides' uh, person-she is not having a good time. There are too many thoughts. Overstimulated af.

The sides are eager to return to Thomas, who is thankfully napping

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Five to Form a Family ch. 2

Summary: Patton meets his kiddos

Taglist: @sanderdarksides @moons-the-nightmare @heirm @lost-in-thought-20 @1stressedanddepressed @xoaningout @lily-janus @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @thebittybonesaddict @just-a-little-anxious @parksthefrog (ask if you want to be added)

Word count: 1667

Ao3

Previous chapter

For the past week, Patton scrubbed his entire house from the basement to the roof. He wants to make a good first impression on his kiddos.

Their bedrooms still look very basic and minimum, only a bed with sheets for each kid and dressers. Patton finds it important to let his children decorate their rooms. He feels it will help make their new house feel like a home.

As Patton is double and triple-checking the bedrooms, the doorbell rings. “They’re here!” He cheers out to himself and goes to answer the door.

“Come on in. Make yourselves at home. I am Patton Sanders, feel free to just call me Pat or Patton.” He gives them all a warm and welcoming smile, becoming them into the house.

The five kids cautiously follow Emile into the house, each pulling a small suitcase behind them.

“Seems like you have everything handled here. Give me a call if you have any questions or problems.” Emile hands Patton a purple suitcase with a spider web design. He waved goodbye and heads on his way.

Logan decides to break the awkward silence, “Salutations. I am Logan. These are my brothers. This Virgil.” He points to the small child clinging to his arms for dear life, “The twins, Roman and Remus,” They give a small wave from behind Janus, “And Janus.”

“Oh. It is just lovely to meet you.” Janus rolls his eyes at Patton, taking a slight step back, “I bet you will make a great parent.”

Logan gently scowls at his brother, “Be nice, Janus. This man was kind enough to take all of us into his home. The least you could do is not be a complete jackass.”

Patton gasps, “Language, kiddo! Please no cursing in front of your younger brothers.”

“I don’t even know what a fucking curse word is.” Janus’ words come out as a hiss.

Patton is taken aback by the blunt rudeness of Janus; This is going to be more of a challenge than he previously thought, “We seem to be getting off on the wrong foot. I bet you all had a long tiring day. I get it, it must be stressful to move into a new house with an adult you don’t know. How about I show you guys to your bedrooms. Then we can relax, get to know each other, and order take out. Does that sound okay?”

“I don’t want my own bedroom.” Janus glares at Patton.

“Noooooo. That’s not fair. I should get my own bedroom.” Roman pushes in front of Janus and whines.

“I am sorry kiddos, but no one has their own bedroom. Come upstairs with me and I’ll show you to your rooms.” Patton leads his kids to the second floor. After telling the twins to follow Patton, Logan goes to Janus.

“Janus, everything will be alright.” He taps Janus’ shoulder in the most comforting way he knows.

“I don’t want to be here.” A few tears drip down Janus’ cheek.

Virgil peeks out of Logan’s collared shirt. He notices Janus’ tears and signs, ‘Why are you sad, J-A-N-U-S?’

‘I am fine. P-A-T-T-O-N is waiting. Let’s go’ Janus wipes away his tears and smiles at Virgil. Logan gave everyone a lecture earlier on how they had to stay calm around Virgil. He told them how this is stressful on everyone but it will be more anxiety-inducing for the youngest of them. Janus quietly follows Logan upstairs.

“I thought you three might have gotten lost.” Patton chuckles. He points to a medium-sized bedroom with twin beds, “This room is for Logan and Janus.” Janus claims the bed on the left side of the room. Right across the hall is a slightly bigger bedroom with a bunk bed and a twin bedroom, “This room is for the twins and Virgil!” Roman and Remus run into the room pushing each other aside.

“I call top bunk!” Remus pushes Roman to the ground, catapulting himself towards the bed.

“That’s not fair! That’s not fair! That’s not fair!” Roman pushes himself off the floor and runs past Patton back downstairs.

Virgil quietly whines from the commotion. Loud noises make him even more nervous. “Here take Virgil to his room. I will handle Roman.” Logan hands Virgil over to Janus and runs after his brother.

Janus whispers softly into Virgil’s ear, “Everything is alright. We are safe. We are together.” He doesn’t believe it for himself but Logan insisted on keeping Virgil calm as much as possible. He places Virgil on his bed and finds his favorite black and purple cat plushie. Virgil giggles and hugs his kitties tightly. ‘I love you, Mr cat.’

Patton wants to help calm his kiddos down but he knows a stranger trying to help will do more bad than good. He doesn’t try to stop Logan as he chases Roman downstairs.

Logan follows the sound of crying to the coat closet, “Hey, Roman. It’s Logan, can I come in?” The door slowly creaks open. Logan steps inside, shutting it behind him, “What happened up there? I do not buy that this is only over the sleeping arrangements.”

Roman’s lip quivers and he can no longer hold back his tears, “I-I miss mom. And and I want to go home.”

Logan pulls Roman closer, “I know it doesn’t seem ideal right now but we still have each other. This probably won’t help you feel better since you are a bit too young to understand but our parents were not the best people.”

Roman sniffles into Logan’s shirt, his words mumbled, “I-I know but they’re still our parents.”

“Let’s get out of this closet, okay?” Roman climbs into his older brother’s arms, ignoring Logan’s protest. Logan gives in and carries his little brother to the couch, where is Patton is sitting with Remus.

“Everything alright?” Patton asks with genuine concern.

“Yes, now it is. Roman is a bit worked up over this big change.” Logan says in a monotone voice as if he is a robot.

“Roman, how about you apologize to Remus for yelling at him. Then we can order whatever type of food you want.” Patton says calmly, making sure he doesn’t come off as mad.

“Okay.” Roman hops out of Logan’s arms and goes over to his twin, “I’m sorry, trash rat. I was out of line.”

Remus pulls Roman into a hug, “It’s okay, this is hard on all of us.”

“Great, now that everyone is on the same page again. Can one of you please get Janus and Virgil to decide on dinner?” Patton asks politely. Remus darts up the stairs before Roman has the chance.

A few minutes later, Remus comes back dragging his moody teenage brother down the stairs, who is holding a sleeping Virgil, “Quiet, Remus!” Janus snarls at Remus in a hushed whisper, “You’ll regret it if you wake up Virgil.”

“Usually I home cook the meals here, but I think we could all use take out tonight.” Patton’s voice wakes up Virgil. He is weary of the new person but can’t resist food.

‘Chicken fingers’ Virgil excitedly signs to Logan.

“How about we order from the local pizza place, they have great food!” Patton asks for the rest of their dinner choices then places the order.

………..

Dinner is awkward to put it softly. Virgil refuses to leave Logan’s lap and he keeps his head down the entire time. Janus throws Patton the stink eye every chance he has. Logan spends the entire dinner trying to encourage Virgil to remove his head from his shirt and eat his chicken fingers. The time passes painfully slow. Patton desperately tries to make conversation with his children but no one is willing to talk.

Patton takes a deep breath. It’s only the first day. Things will get better. Just give it time. He repeats this over and over again until he starts to believe it, “If you kiddos are done eating, I will clean up. It’s been a long day for all of you. How about you all shower, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. I’ll be in the kitchen if anyone needs anything. In an hour I will check to make sure everyone is adjusting okay.”

Janus is the first one to dart off of his chair, Roman and Remus quickly follow him back upstairs. “I know my brothers don’t show it, but we all are grateful that someone took all of us in and didn’t separate us. Thank you for dinner, Patton.” Logan puts Virgil on the chair next to him and signs to him, ‘What do we say, V-I-R-G-I-L?’

Virgil signs to Patton without looking up, ‘Thank you.’ He reaches up to his big brother and demands to be picked up.

Logan picks Virgil up once again and heads upstairs to tuck Virgil in.

……..

An hour later, Patton goes to make sure his kiddos are doing alright. He peeks into the younger ones’ room first. Virgil and Roman are peacefully sleeping. Remus is sprawled out across the top bunk without a blanket. Patton grabs an extra fuzzy blanket from the closet and tucks Remus in. He turns on a small night light and leaves the door a crack open.

He goes across the hall to the older kiddos. Janus is curled up in a ball, fast asleep. His fierce facade has long since faded away. Janus acts tough but an act can only last for so long. Then there’s Logan awake on his laptop.

“It’s getting late, kiddo. You should head to sleep.” Patton approaches Logan with quiet footsteps, careful to keep Janus asleep.

“I’m compiling a list of all my brothers’ allergies and triggers.” Logan keeps typing, not looking up.

“I appreciate that but it can wait until tomorrow.” Patton presses save on Logan’s document, shuts the laptop, and places it on the dresser, “Goodnight, Logan.”

Logan yawns, “-Night, Patton.”

Patton is exhausted after today, he climbs into his bed and falls asleep almost immediately.

Next chapter

[attourney-at-lycan]

One of my old friend’s HC was that Janus’ biggest fear is letting Zane get killed when he could’ve prevented it

Anyways I’ll now be in the bathroom crying

STOPPPPPP OH MY GODDDDD

imagine this.

janus asking zane why can't he go w/ them to the battle of scaleswind and zane goes "i have something else i need u to do".

for some reason, janus feels sort of restless about this situation, however he can't just worry like they want to, they're in front of other jurors. (sure they know of the nature of their relationship but both zane and janus do not like showing weakness in front of others) still, he presses on and goes "let me go with you."

zane narrows their eyes because maybe they've been too lenient on janus that they're actually being stubborn in front of the others. "janus." the tone just drips of 'stfu we'll talk when we get back'. but STILL janus does not relent and he's even glaring @ them. just wanting to get janus off their back they go "if you finish your mission before i get back, you can join us."

this is enough to let janus relax, only slightly, he still has a weird gut feeling about this.

and oh how right they were.

by the time they finish their mission, they're only halfway on their travel to phoenix drop when he hears the news that the lord of phoenix drop and the priest of o'khasis has disappeared and OH MY GOD.

this went a bit more than i thought it would but god. imagine janus being so..... UGH I DONT HAVE THE WORDS. but regretting not.. being able to be there. maybe if they had finished the mission one day sooner, if he hadn't decided to take a break.... maybe... maybe he'd still be here

*BANGING ON THE WALL* I HATE IT HERE