#slight bucky angst

[deadtired-highkeyenergetic]

No One Else

This idea came to me whilst I was lying on my bed so here you Bucky fans go! You're welcome! Reader has fire powers in this fic and it's set in an AU where Bucky lives in the Avengers Tower + goes on missions with them.

Summary: Your marriage proposal to Bucky doesn't quite go how you expected it to...

"Can't believe we're actually doing Operation: Rescue the Genius Billionaire." You twirl the knife in your hand, sliding it into its sheath as you stand up, stretching.

"You're the one who volunteered for it. And then proceeded to volunteer me," Bucky snorts, double checking his rifle. "You only have yourself to blame for this."

"Hey, this means we'll probably get to share his black card. Think of all the expensive things we could buy!" You laugh. "Or at least I hope we'll be able to."

"Did you just sign us up for a dangerous mission with no guaranteed reward?" Bucky shakes his head, ruffling your hair. "If either of us die on this mission I'm blaming you."

"Good thing we're both pretty hard to kill." You flash him a grin, moving to the door of the plane. It's almost at your destination and adrenaline is coursing through your veins. Blue flames flicker at your fingertips, ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice. You can't recall the last time you felt this excited to go on a mission, maybe it's the fact that you've been partnered up with your favourite super soldier after what feels like forever, maybe it's the fact that Tony is going to owe you a big favour after this, or maybe it's the thrill of the fight to come.

"Fortunately." Bucky hums, walking over to stand next to you. "The amount of stupidity you bring along on missions would've killed a normal person at least a hundred times over."

"Hey I'm blaming the influence a certain idiot has on me. You know, the idiot currently standing in the same plane as me because he couldn't turn me down." You feel Bucky place his hand on your back, patting you a few times before adding a little more force as the door opens and sends you flying out of the plane. Thousands of feet in the air without a parachute. This bastard.

A long string of swear words flow from your lips, spoken in every language you can think of and you swear Bucky is laughing from up inside the plane. You can picture it clearly, his lips quirking upwards, the mirth in his ice blue eyes, the pat on the back he definitely gave himself before diving out of the plane.

Oh.

You twist your body so that you face upwards just in time to see a figure diving towards you. More curses spill forth as said figure wraps his arms around you, grinning as if the both of you aren't falling through the air with no parachute in sight.

"You know you're not that light, right?" You grunt, resisting the urge to bite him.

"Pure muscle and a metal arm, doll." He flashes you a smirk as you try to pry the super soldier off you to no avail.

"If we both go splat on the ground it's your fault."

"Then you're just going to have to ensure that doesn't happen, doll. I'm counting on you." You hate it when he says those four words. It always makes you fold and he knows it.

"You — You're going to be the death of me someday," you scowl. He only laughs, brown hair fluttering in the wind as you both plummet towards the ground and you feel your chest grow strangely warm. Your heart pounds against the ribs that cage it, stomach flipping when his eyes meet yours, his gaze soft and carefree. "Don't regret relying on me."

"Do I ever?" His thumb brushes over your skin, electricity crackling at the contact and you nearly lose concentration. You swallow, pushing his face away and he laughs again, the sound a beautiful melody to your ears. Shoving your bubbling feelings down, you focus on your descent towards the ground that is coming up to meet you rather fast.

"Hang on tight!" Gathering the flames within you, you push them outwards via your feet and shoot towards the warehouse where Tony is being kept, adrenaline causing your lips to curl upwards into a maniacal grin. Blue flames roar around the both of you, under your firm control and devour the roof of the warehouse before it can even touch either of you.

"Look who finally decided to show up." Tony smirks, watching you and Bucky land in a fiery blaze next to him. "And with such a fiery entrance too, what a show-off."

"You're welcome." You roll your eyes, meeting Bucky's gaze. He nods, and you conjure a ring of flames around the three of you, pushing it outwards as he lunges at the nearest kidnapper. A quick flick of the wrist from you burns through the ropes holding Tony hostage and you turn your attention to the fight happening in front of you.

Dodging the swing of an electrified baton, you slam your foot into your attacker's chest, sending him stumbling backwards. Fire daggers follow suit, flying in his direction and he slams into the wall, slumping to the floor. Whirling around, you fire a blast of flame at someone who was trying to ambush Bucky from behind and throw up a flame wall to give the super soldier a moment of respite. He shoots you a glance and gives a signal before jumping through the blue wall of fire, unloading his rifle's magazine into the unfortunate souls in front of him. A quick reload later he spins around, taking aim and fires another barrage but this time around his bullets are reinforced by your flames, piercing through the air at a startling speed and hitting their targets.

It doesn't take long for the kidnappers to fall to the combined might of you and the Winter Soldier. Before long there's only three beings left standing in the warehouse — you, Bucky and Tony.

"Go team," Tony cheers sarcastically, clapping as he makes his way over. "Didn't expect either of you, really."

"You're welcome. Now as for payment, I'll take your black card for at least one week with no spending limit —" You're cut off as Bucky shoves you aside.

"Ignore the idiot. A helicopter is on its way to pick us up, it'll be here in fifteen." Bucky ignores the punches you're landing on his right shoulder and ruffles your hair.

"I'm the idiot? When you jumped out of the plane without a parachute?" You yelp, dodging his attempts to further mess up your hair.

"I knew you'd catch me. That's called trust, not idiocy."

"It's called idiocy when you dive straight at me in midair!"

"I knew you'd be able to create an entrance into the warehouse, I simply tagged along so we'd get here faster."

"We could have died if I couldn't conjure enough flame to send us both flying here!"

"But we didn't."

"That doesn't mean you're not an idiot! It just means I'm powerful enough, you idiot!"

"Maybe the idiocy is contagious. I think you've spread it to me, doll." He laughs, leaning out of the way of your punch. "We can be idiots together!"

"I'm not an idiot!" You tackle him to the ground which only causes him to laugh harder. He effortlessly blocks your fists, ice blue eyes twinkling with mirth before flipping you over, trapping you underneath his bulk.

"Don't worry doll, being an idiot isn't always a bad thing —"

"Get off me you oaf!" You howl.

Tony sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The two of you argue like a married couple, just get married already and spare the rest of us."

Bucky blinks, staring at Tony while you push him off you, climbing to your feet.

"Yeah so when are we getting married?" You run your fingers through your hair, stretching. He stares at you blankly, mouth opening and closing. You see his throat bob, his metal fist clenching and unclenching — his usual signs of nervousness and feel your heart plummet. He doesn't say anything, not a single word falls from his snarky tongue. Your attention quickly shifts to the helicopter that has arrived just in time to prevent a lengthy period of awkward silence but the ride back to the Avengers Tower is filled with tension that makes even Tony uncomfortable.

Once the helicopter lands, Bucky doesn't even try to help you down. He simple leaves, walking straight to his room and locks the door without speaking a single word to you. You watch as he leaves, barely hearing Tony's passing apology through the ringing in your ears and feel a pit growing in your stomach.

Is this it? After all that time spent cultivating this relationship with Bucky that you love and cherish, this is how it ends?

After taking a much needed shower, you collapse onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Did you overstep? Had you read your relationship wrong? Curling underneath your blanket, you swallow the tears that threaten to spill over, fingernails digging into the flesh of your palm. You want nothing more than to take it all back, to preserve your relationship with Bucky. It brought you so much joy, happiness, even if sometimes you didn't act like it did. You had cherished all the time spent with him, whether it was fooling around or going on missions, the only thing that mattered was the fact that you had someone to tease, banter with, be yourself with.

"Y/N?" A voice sounds from outside your room door. Bucky. "May I come in?"

You pause, gripping the sheets. Your heart thunders, anxiety gnawing away at you but your hand finds its way to the door handle and pulls the door open anyways. The brunette shifts anxiously then pulls out a box of your favourite snacks, offering it to you.

"A peace offering?" He bites his lip, gaze flicking to everywhere but you.

"Sure." The word clogs up your throat and you take the box, stepping to the side to let him in. Closing the door behind you, you gesture to the bed. "You can take a seat there."

He nods, taking his usual spot on your bed and you take your seat next to him. He plays with the hem of his shirt, Adam's apple bobbing and exhales sharply. "Did you mean it? When you asked when we were getting married?"

You blink, mouth opening and closing before giving a nod. "I did."

The words come out as a whisper, your chest constricting and tears begin to blur your vision. "I'm sorry I —"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Bucky reaches over, taking your hand in his. "It's just…are you sure about it? I'm not someone you should be stuck with for the rest of your life. You deserve someone better, someone who can give you the life you deserve, the family you seek. I can't give you any of that."

"So who do you think can?" You squeeze his hand, looking him in the eye. "Tony? Steve?"

"Tony would be a pretty good choice. He's handsome, rich, can take care of you —"

"Yeah sure Tony is handsome. But he's not the one I call handsome, is he?" You lean in. "You're the one I call handsome."

"That — that's because —" His cheeks redden and he looks away, embarrassed.

"You're the one I want, not Tony, not Steve, not anyone else. I know what I'm getting into, proposing to you but I want this. I've never been more sure of anything in my life, I know I want you in my life forever, to be by my side forever, to intertwine my fate with yours and be yours as much as you are mine. I know the burdens you carry, you know the burdens I carry, and I'm willing to help you shoulder yours, if you will let me." You gently turn his face towards you, earnestly looking into his ice blue eyes. He locks gazes with you and you see the tears that have started to form.

"Will you?"

He blinks and tears start to flow down his cheeks. You simply continue to hold onto his hand and feel him squeeze yours.

"If you will have me."

You beam, pulling him in for a kiss that he returns with a hungry desperation and feel his metal arm wrap around you.

"Of course I will," you whisper breathlessly, breaking the kiss for air. "I love you, James."

"I love you too, Y/N." He cups your cheek with both hands, metal and flesh thumb brushing over your skin then presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

"This wasn't how I expected my proposal to go, really. I had something way better planned out but Tony had to just go and ruin it." You chuckle softly and he smiles.

"You can propose to me again, doll. I don't mind."

"I'd quite like to get married, thank you very much handsome." You boop him on the nose, laughing at the way he wrinkles it immediately.

"So, Tony's black card?" He queries, ruffling your hair.

"Of course. We're going to put the wedding tab on him, on top of a few other valuable items as payment for rescuing him. He can't say no, not after he told us to get married." You grin, swatting his hand away before your hair can get messed up even further. "I can't wait to choose all the most expensive options."

Bucky huffs in amusement, catching your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. "I can't wait to get married to you. You're the only one for me, no one else."

"You're the only one for me," you echo, smiling. "No one else."

[wannabespiderman]

Starving.

Thank you so much to everyone that was so nice to like and reblog my previous post <3 I really appreciate it and it gave me inspiration to write more! Fair warning that I wrote this while being a little tipsy so some typos may have occured.

Bucky Barnes x reader

Bucky completely forgot what it was like to be touched in a way that wasn't punishing. Well, until he met you.

.

.

.

Bucky Barnes was a conundrum. He was strong, stoic and had a head through the wall attitude. On the inside though…he was like a frail house of cards on a windy day. It was about a fifty-fifty chance if he turned cold or broke down. Well, actually, when he was out and about he would derealize and turn passive a hundred percent of the time. With you on the other hand, in the confinement of your own home, this massive, build man would turn into a weeping little boy. At first he didn’t know what to do with himself when his walls broke down in front of you. It was a feeling he wasn’t familiar with and the vulnerability made him feel small and weak, something he experienced regularly while he was still with hydra, something that he wasn’t allowed to show back then.

The same night he broke down in front of you for the first time you had your arms wrapped around him before his tears could even start to fall. Bucky’s mind went haywire the second your body touched his.

It was like he couldn’t comprehend how a touch could be this soft and warm, so void of anger or malicious intent.

It felt like it made him almost feel worse but at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to rip himself away from you.

And then he got hooked.

He was always flirty with you and heavy on the PDA, constantly having his hand on your waist or leg or hell, even on your ass while his face was buried in your hair. He could touch you easily, shower you in physical affection in front of anyone who was unfortunate enough to hang out with you two at the same time.

When you touched him, you had to be alone because that was the time his guard went down. Only you were allowed to hear him sniffle and whimper and see him curl into a ball on your bed while he let you run your fingers through his hair. Bucky never talked about why he cried so you could only speculate if someone said something triggering or if last night’s nightmares tortured him throughout the day but you didn’t ask him about it. All you knew was that he needed your touch and you were not only happy to give him that, you took this job very seriously.

You’d tenderly catch his tear drops with your thumb while he leaned into your touch like it was his oxygen and held him in your arms when he basically folded himself in half to fit into them. But it wasn’t only when he was sad or overwhelmed that he needed your touch, actually it was allowed any time of the day as long as you two were alone. He appreciated every small brush of your hand when you gestured too much with your hands or tried to push past him in the narrow hallway and almost every time a small sound would escape him. He was just…addicted as he’d call it. Addicted to your soft hands that fit the equally soft touch.

He'd say he’s addicted while you knew the truth. The poor man was touch starved and hell, if you weren’t gonna be the one who’d give him what he so terribly needed.

[samodivaa]

Training Techniques

Winter Soldier x Reader He is not allowed to move an inch—he can only watch you pleasure yourself—but why is there a ring on your finger?

Warnings - smut, light angst, mastrubation(f), rough sex, choking, breeding kink Words - 2600 ⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ You have absolutely no pleasure in the work in which you sometimes so madly indulge—training the assets with delicacy of words with which their handlers don’t approve of—Soldat is your favorite, with his expression of endless and unconditional gratitude and a silent promise of complicity unto death—he may not remember your face, but he always remembers your voice, its' gentleness. The soporific air of your room, in the soft breath of bread and sweets—he was sent there, because he was misbehaving again.

It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that you have periled this life and reputation—but here you are—on your bed trying to sleep when you see him sitting on the chair, waiting. And this isn't a romance. You're not a damsel in distress and he is not the handsome prince who comes to save you—this is his desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of the impending doom, but they didn’t know that.

You know.

He can't stop looking at you—Soldat is gazing at a distant star. It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago, because he is not allowed to move until you instruct him to.

Subconsciously, he licks his lips at the sight at your body in a night dress and wonder if he will ever just cum in your mouth as you suck him off to your knees…or if he’ll take you by the hair before he’s finished and fuck you into a sobbing heap before blowing his load. It doesn’t seem worth the risk —but he wanted this for so long now, he needs to voice it.

“Please-” —an irrational and indulgent mistake. you stand up on your elbows in shock at the word he utters—his eyes drift leisurely back up to your face and his lips twitch. Soldat has fallen into a state of feverish lust, but that is not a justification for his disobedience. His heart goes into a shameless delirium when your eyes meet. “Desperate?” you mock, but underneath the mockery Soldat finds a reservoir of understanding. You lay back on the bed as nothing has happened, and your voice takes on a restful strength “I still need to punish you for that, Winter” He behaves as naturally, with such discretion, that he does not lose his composure, not even when you remove your wedding ring—who committed the impertinence of marrying you? He goes through a crisis of disappointment, fury, jealousy, but this is your way of giving Soldat a layer of respect—he wants to call it loyalty. And maybe you can be his or maybe you will be entwined in this sexless foreplay tonight.

He wants to ask so many questions, but he can’t. Not now. There is a pent-up curiosity, hysteria of his unsatisfied needs, unnaturally suppressed communion and also a kind of tense respect, because if he is obedient enough—he will be rewarded.

“You will watch me, that's all you will do for now” you say, your voice has sunk to a whisper. Your words stoke a warmness in his stomach, a fire in his crotch. And he doesn’t care what you will do with him—even if you want to cut him, sharpen him however you please—that's all he knows anyways. He wants this memory to stay what it is, one intense moment, something that is strong and sweet enough to stand on its own. Your room has turned into an idyllic paradise for a good many years, your skin glistening in the light coming from the slits in the blinds as your hands play with your breast through the nightgown. He has lost his voice and a thread of cold sweat runs down the path of his spine, suffocating with heat, because of the black leather clothes—the stiff collar and the tight harness that is restricting his breathing, is becoming increasingly annoying.

His eyes are growing moist with indignation, with angry impotence, and for the first time, he is barely controlling himself. It is the natural sequel of an unnatural beginning—he needs to be patient, but it’s hard—not harder than his cock—It's more erotic, more intense to watch you touch yourself. He is master of what he does, but never of what he desires. You are greatly overestimating his self-control. But this is what you are testing tonight—his ability to subordinate the impulse to fuck you. Self-control might be as passionate and as active as the surrender to passion, but you need to show him who is in charge while your panties are becoming steadily slicker. All you need to do is to tell him to come, but you refrain from doing the thing you want so badly—to be consumed by Winter. You glance up to find his eyes blazing with raw need—blue orbits pleading for you to command him. You spread your legs open, positioning yourself in front of him—one hand still toying with your nipple while the fingers of the other hook in your panties and drag them down your legs slowly before throwing them in his direction. His breath stutters as they land on his left boot and Soldat eyes them wickedly, knowing that all he can do is watch. 

"Good, very good, Soldat '' you coo, sliding two fingers into your core, scissoring and stretching, curling over the one sweet spot—imagining his metal digits. You remove them as your index finger takes their place, rubbing slow, torturous circles on your clit, sliding down to tease your opening, then back up. Over and over again.

He slides his tongue across his teeth, remembering the taste of your nectar, becoming more and more aroused with every beat of his heart that runs down his shaft.

“I want you so much, gosh” he is stirred by the lust in your smooth voice. You are breathing deep with your mouth wide open—he doesn’t blink, he doesn’t dare blink. Soldat can swear he feels the pressure of your palms on his cheeks—or is it a memory? Everything is a memory to him. “I want you here, fucking me” There is something raw and pleading in your voice that surpasses sexual desire, these fleeting moments of carnal craving.

With the auspicious attention of a strained killing machine, he examines your fingers, your shivering body and listens to your muffled moans meticulously. It is such a tumultuous and intemperate invasion to his mind—your scandalous behavior is pulling at every string of his nerves and self-control.

It is such a prolonged act, so meticulous, so rich in all aspects as you are giving yourself over to the deserved adoration of your own body and pleasure. It leaves Soldat breathless at the tremendous spectacle of your nudity and lack of shame as you bring yourself closer to the edge.

“Jesus-I am so close” You confess, surprised at how fast the arousal is budding. You arch your back and hips buckle like an electric current runs through your body, moaning, rubbing your clit faster, forcing yourself to let out a louder moan. The orgasm wrecks your body from head to toe and being watched by a ferocious male is exciting—all he needs is a feeling as primitive and as simple as that of love.

You see his eyes, still unblinking and you feel menaced by some invisible danger—you are keenly aware of every movement, every breath you take. Lust is a weed that grows in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind and the stacks of bad words that you have been forced to swallow, spills “Soldat, come here” you command, languid and serious.

You lick your lips, trying to quench the thirst for him. Your throat is dry as you watch him between your spread legs, getting up and slowly coming towards the bed as his thick, black pants fall to the floor around his feet, the belt clattering noisily. Winter craws on top of you and he cannot articulate a word, capable only of an animal sound, a strangulated wheeze that shocks him deeply, enraging him, this sudden loss of the faculty of speech that feels somehow bestial and forgotten. He breathes, his chest rising and falling so close to yours.

“Kiss m-” you whisper the words, and before you even finish saying them, his mouth is on yours and you are melting under his lips, eyes flutter shut—and it is blissful oblivion—giving you the most intense and explosive kiss you two have ever shared. With the coldness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue beneath yours, you vow an endless bliss. He pulls back with a groan—Winter’s sky-blue eyes stare back into yours, and in his eyes you can see no parting from you. You put your hands on either side of his face, and the room falls away. You have never gotten so lost in a kiss before. And the kiss is not gentle. It is a wrestle of who would lead the excursion into the territory of passion and ecstasy, heat and unending craving for one another. You suck on his lower lip between your teeth and he lets out a low groan. It sounds almost aggravated and definitely impatient. Fire looks into his quiet eyes, touches his dear, familiar face—you lean upwards for a moment and dip your head towards his ear, grazing his soft skin with your teeth, while your hand slides to the harness. Soldat stills, angling his mouth towards your bare, perfect neck. You feel a warm slickness on your skin, his tongue trailing a path towards your shoulder.

It is a wild, animalistic compulsion, an urgent need as he suddenly slots himself between your legs and you turn your head away. Your fear is returning, crawling through your limbs and leaving you numb to everything. You shut your eyes, gripping the sheets, and whimper when he pushes himself inside you. He releases a ragged breath before moving, slow but with purpose, and you simply take it with soft whimpers and gasps as he pumps in and out of you, now starting to set a steady pace. His eyes, the blue completely gone from his them, soften for a moment and he kisses you tenderly before he whispers in your ear, his breath puffs against your skin. He spends a good amount of time on your neck, a brief stop at the base of your throat—he wants to bite you, but he can’t—something melts inside Soldat that hurts in an exquisite way—you are not his. “Who did you marry, Snow White?” He asks, voice throbbing with menace—before slipping inside you again and burying himself to the hilt. Sex with you this time is different, he has never felt this dominant, this claiming. He is so far in that his balls are right against your lips. You arch your back and moan “It doesn’t matter” as he slides back out nearly all the way before slamming into you hard and fast. You wrap your legs around his waist as he slams into you over and over, the only sound in the room is the skin slapping. You close your eyes and swallow. Your mouth parts and stills—your voice is barely a whisper as his tip touches your cervix. “Pierce…I am closer to ruining his plans, closer to freeing you” Despite your eyelids being tightly shut, a single, hot tear runs out of your eye. You are so angry that it has escaped—so angry—he stops his trusts completely. You moan as you feel his movement out of you. Then, as he almost has the tip fully out, he slaps it back in. When your eyes meet his gaze as you are sitting here staring at each other, time stops. Your fingertips reach to trace the metal shoulder, but he grasps your hand with his own. He leans down, far enough that the ends of his hair brush feather-light against your face, catching in your lashes and tears.

His breath, warm and measured, hits your cheek. Two breaths. Three. Then you stop breathing, and a second later, you feel his lips on your mouth. It is hungry, desperate. His metal hand wraps around your neck, thumb presses into the skin—you moan, it ripples over your nerve endings. His breath caresses your ear again—his grip on your neck tightens. And this makes you always still and submit…the act of Winter taking shameful, contemptuous possession of you is the kind of rapture you want.

“Next time-” you try, but with your restricted of oxygen brain, you are not able to. He tastes passion. He tastes lust. He tastes his power over you. He tastes a world of stimulants he’d never imagined. You are right there in front of him, he can do whatever he wants. Winter loosens his hold—only to observe you as you breathe raggedly, sliding down slowly, a moan ripping from your throat. 

“Next time he calls you in his house, I will be there, too”

I have nothing to give but my heart so full and these empty hands.

“I need to kill them one by one, Winter” His mouth curves into a smile—his eyes are light blue and dancing with life. He pauses for only a fraction of a second. Then he leans forward and presses his lips to yours "Okay, yeah, yeah" a devil-soft whisper. He blinks several times like he is trying to comprehend your plan word by word. His trusts become so hormonal—you want his roughness. His other hand slips to your waist, pushing you into the mattress as he fucks you. For him, sex intimately relates to the most primitive kind of human contact, which can satisfy all of his needs he has been deprived from. "Winter " you gaspe breathlessly "Slow down" You try to let out a choked squeal, but his metal hand tightens around your neck again, muffling any sounds, your toes curling as he brings you steadily closer and closer to orgasm, reeling from the thrill and the fear from both his forceful thrusts of his powerful hips and the choking. Soldat is unrelenting in his domination of your body. But you are his at this moment, your cunt clenching around him while you mewls and grunts fill his ears, he can’t slow down even one bit. Logic would say that this is insane, every other fibre of his being says it's right—he has to fill you up. You can't move. You can't breathe. And his pace. And the adrenaline. “I will cum inside—dear Snow White” This is his demarcation line, all of a sudden it seems unfair to withhold it from you. Your inner muscles tighten as waves of pleasure start to build and ripple out. You don’t normally get off this fast, but you are lost in the exquisite sensations—you put your hands on his metal arm as your body bursts into flames, your fingers curling into the metal. You can’t make a sound and it is a shame, because it is the best orgasm you ever had. It is unbearable, unreal, unimaginable—it is too much as your eyes can only see darkness due to the choking. You can only hear a broken and hoarse cry escaping his lips, his warm come filling you up completely.

You can hear his breath, as your vision slowly becomes solid—a stray lock of dark hair falls into his eyes as he is looking down—he moves his hips back and then into you again, enjoying his cock being in a tub of cum, swimming in your honey.

[sixtsposts]

Bad memories - Bucky Barnes

TW: female!reader, fight in a couple, mention of Steve's death, mention of Rebecca, sad Bucky, past trauma, from angst to fluff?

"You're not even trying!" You were pissed off right now. Like a lot, to the point where you are pacing around your shared bedroom with Bucky staring at you.

It's been about thirty minutes that Bucky and you are arguing and your starting to loose it. You just didn't understand him right now.

"I'm just asking you to come to the cinema with us! Seriously Bucky, what's the matter here?" You shout again but with an undertone of curiosity in your voice.

Bucky look up in your eyes and it hurts him to notice the worry in the frown of your eyebrows, "There's not matter, okay?" He sighs and rub his face, turning slightly away from you.

"So you just don't want to spend time with me, that's it," you reply harshly, with a hurt expression.

"That's not what it means doll, you don't understand," Bucky sighs and try to take a step closer to you. Though you take steps back refusing to lean in.

"And what should I understand Bucky? You've been gone on a mission for two months, you're back since a week and all you do is meeting Sam to prepare new missions. And now, you even refuse to spend few hours with me and our friends?" You yell at him, "You're right, I don't understand," you cross your arms in front of your chest, you're so upset you could cry.

Bucky put a hand on his hip and rub his forehead with the other, "That's not- you don't get it," he says with whar looks like a tired expression.

"Indeed," you point out with a cold demeanour.

"I'm not trying to hurt you doll!" He suddenly turns to you with a sincere expression.

"But that's what you do though!" You reply back, taking a step closer witha frown.

"I'm scared doll!" He shouts suddenly and your angry expression flatters, "I can't handle this and it makes me scared, okay?" He repeats with a quieter voice. He turns his back to you, his arms fold against his chest almost in a protective manner.

You bite your lips, the way that his voice slightly broke not going unoticed by you. You sigh by your nose, starting to feel slightly guilty for your behavior. You walk to him slowly and gently put your hand on his back, stroking it softly in a soothing manner.

"You can talk to me babe, I'm sorry. You can always talk to me," you say quietly with a soft voice tone. You want him to feel safe around you as much as you feel safe around him. But you just failed.

"I could handle loosing my mind, my arm, my self-control because Steve was here. But now he left me and... I just don't think I can handle it, so I try to keep myself occupied," he starts to explain, the plain pretty clear in his voice. You don't interruped him but you wrap you wrap your arms around him back, holding him warmly in your loving embrace.

"I didn't mean to hurt you doll, I'm just so weak since he left," you shush him and stroke his torso with your thumbs.

"I know Buck it's okay, you're not weak," you mumur with a soft voice, holding him closer and tighter. He puts his hands above yours on his torso.

"The cinema it's just... I didn't do that since 1942 doll," Bucky keep explaining, his tone no more harsh at all. Your expression softens even more as he turns to look at you. "Going to the movie theater, it was always with Steve or... Rebecca," you look up in his blue eyes and grab his hand gently in your. If Steve was a hard topic now, Bucky's little sister completly taboo most of time. You understand that he's really opening to you right now. Your thumb stroke the back of his calloused hand in a soothing manner.

"I don't wanna bring up bad memories or force you into anything baby. But maybe it's the right moment to try things again? You can't stop doing all the things you did in the forties," you tell him with a soft voice.

Bucky sighs one more time, squeezing your hand gently.

"I'm scared- I don't want to go and find out everything is different. It'll remind me of Steve and her but at the same time prooving me they're both gone for real..." he pass a hand on his face again and you can see his internal conflict mixed with this sadness in his eyes.

"It's okay baby," you say as you put your other hand on his cheek. "I know you're doing your best and you're doing great."

You try to catch his gaze and when his eyes meets yours you smile warmly. "What do you think about staying here instead and cuddling in front of a movie with Alpine?"

Bycky chuckles slightly, his eyes full of tender and love, "Sounds good to me doll," you got on your tip-toes and leave a small kiss on his lips. He squeezes your hand again and lean in for another kiss, deeper this time.

"I love you doll," he mumbles as he put his forehead against yours. Your smile widen, "I love you too Buck."

[lauriegraham01]

40s!headcannons - steve & bucky

pairings: steve rogers x reader, bucky barnes x reader

summary: headcannons of steve and bucky from the 40s.

w/c: 645

content warning: minor angst, mentions of domestic/child abuse, fluff, mention of smoking/drinking.

Steve Rogers

Steve always being shy to show affection, for fear of rejection. So whenever you initiate acts of affection, he goes red and his heart does somersaults.

He doesn't like to talk about his dad much, it still hurts to think about the abuse he and his mom faced because of him.

But he sometimes misses the way his dad was before the abuse started but he feels wrong for missing someone who caused so much pain.

Steve first learned how to draw from recreating the human anatomy because he had a curiosity for medicine, taking after his mother who was a nurse.

Steve learned how to do everything around the house- cooking, cleaning, hell he even knew how to sew. His mother had instilled the importance of knowing how to take care of yourself within him at a young age.

Coming from Irish-Catholics, he and his mother would attend mass frequently.

Steve loved midnight Christmas mass the most.

Loved reading and saving up to buy new books and comics.

Was the type of kid to hide underneath the covers with a flashlight just so that he could read late at night.

He memorized the entire subway system at one point.

His favorite places to take you on dates would be parks and record shops.

Textbook definition of a gentleman, would open every door for you, walk closest to the street, give you his jacket if your cold, and drop you off at your doorstep after a date.

After the serum, he still wasn't used to his new body so he would still accidently buy clothes that were too small.

Steve wrote to you and told you everything about what he was doing while away.

This man would lose his mind every time you sent him a photo of yourself in your letters.

Worshipped the ground you walked on and treats you nothing short of a queen.

He was afraid that his inexperience would be an issue and after reassuring him that it wasn't he fell even deeper in love with you.

Needless to say Steve loved learning new things with you ;)

Bucky Barnes

Bucky was openly affectionate and it often meant that you would get dirty look from girls who had a crush on him because they were jealous that Bucky was paying to attention to you.

Bucky is Jewish (especially considering that his character is based on another Jewish character/has Jewish influences)

He would invite Steve over for Seder dinners every year.

Bucky cannot cook to save his life, his role in the kitchen often being helping cut veggies or wash dishes.

Bucky was a naturally loud person seeing as he lived with four sisters and had an all around loud household/family.

Bucky picked up street-boxing when he was 13.

Steve hated this. Often having to be the one to patch up Bucky after a nasty fight.

Bucky could understand and even speak a little bit of Spanish, learning from friends and from girls he'd dated before.

Bucky would sneak up the fire escape to be able to knock on your window and see you late at night.

Bucky smokes, but never around you or Steve out of respect.

He is a sappy drunk. He will go on and on about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are.

He can handle his liquor.

He loved going dancing with you- especially at jazz clubs.

An absolute sucker for rhythm and blues.

He knew that he wanted to marry you, but he wanted to wait until after the war to get married.

He had the ring picked and locked away.

He kept a picture of you tucked away in his coat pocket, admiring the picture everyday while overseas.

He wrote to you often, asking about how things were back home. Your responses giving him hope that this war would end soon and he's come back home to you.

[hoppers-babygirl]

Saw your post requests tonight, could you do something Bucky Barnes X reader? With readers family being extremely nosy on Thanksgiving? You know the usual questions, for example: when/how did you meet? when will you get married/engaged? when you having kids? Are you living together?

Thankful

Author: hoppers-babygirl

Word count: 1976ish

A/N: Hope you enjoy this! Graphics by @firefly-graphics

The trip to your parent’s place was filled with laughs, kisses and a few rest stops. It was the first time Bucky was going to meet your family since you started dating and being scared was one of the many emotions you felt. Not because your family wouldn’t like him but just because you knew how overbearing your family could be during the holidays but Bucky insisted that he could handle it so that's how you found yourselves driving to upstate New York, to your parents place.

Soft lips pressed a kiss to the back of your hand which snapped you from your thoughts and you smiled over at Bucky. “It’ll be fine, Doll. I promise I can handle it.” He said.

“I know I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed or trapped around all these loud nosy people.” You chuckle softly, moving your hand to caress his cheek as he drives, which he appreciated.

“Baby.. Do you happen to forget that we work for the avengers? Have you been in a room with any of them at all?” He laughed and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Okay- that is true! But these are people you’re meeting for the first time.” You counter.

His brow quirks, “Do you forget that everyone was a stranger to me at one point including you? I think I can handle being around a roomful of strangers for a couple hours, plus they’re your family. It's important to meet them, especially since I love you so much.” He grins at you before the navigator told him the destination was close.

After a few moments the car was parked and Bucky had rounded the front to open your door. Getting out you grabbed the cupcakes you made just so you didn’t show up empty handed before walking up to the front door of your childhood home. Bucky politely knocked before his arm snaked around your waist keeping you close, today he opted to wear a long sleeve and his usual leather glove long with his leather jacket, your parents knew who he was and you understood his hesitation but you reassured him that your family would be considerate given his past.

A second passes and your mom answers the door, she greets you both with a big smile and moves out the entryway for you to step inside. Bucky takes the cupcakes from your hands so you and your parents can share a hug as well as take your jacket off to hang it up.

Shyly he shifts his weight from foot to foot until you turn your attention to him with a bright smile. “Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Bucky that I’ve been telling you about?” You nod softly before you take the cupcakes and walk them into the kitchen leaving Bucky to say his hellos with your parents.

He looks a bit nervous but you give him a smile to help sooth him which it does, he gives your mom a quick hug and gives your dad a handshake before they go back into the kitchen.

Your mom checks on the turkey as your younger sister comes in and gives you a hug, while everyone’s attention is occupied, Bucky decides to slip off his jacket as well as his gloves. “He really is cute.�� He smiled at your sister's whisper, not sure if anyone knew he had enhanced hearing so he kept his pride to himself.

Instead he walked over and greeted your little sister. “Doll here’s told me lots about you. It’s nice to finally meet you, I do hope you’re enjoying your break from college.” He said, your sister smiled up at him.

“I am, thank you. But now I’m worried about the things you’ve heard.” She laughs.

“All good things, I promise.” He chuckled, a man came down the stairs followed by a woman who held a young boy in her arms. The man looked more like you causing Bucky to assume that was your older brother.

“Hey man it’s nice to finally meet you.” Your brother gives Bucky a smile and one of those weird manly handshakes with a shoulder pat which makes you giggle softly under your breath.

“It’s nice to meet you too, all of you, really.” Bucky nodded and looked around the room.

The woman holding the small child greets you both quietly before she goes over to the fridge to grab a juice box for the little one in her arms.

Your dad moves into the living room along with your brother while your sister in law sits at the kitchen table with her son. He’s happily babbling, not caring much for everything that was happening around him besides the fact that soon enough he too would be enjoying a yummy dinner.

Your sister grabbed a cupcake and took a bite before she spoke, “So how did you and my sister meet?”

You sit down and babble quietly with your nephew while Bucky answers your sister. “We met at work actually, since she works with the CEO of Stark Industries and I work with the husband of the CEO of Stark Industries, we were bound to run into one another which we did often.” He flashed you a soft smile as you helped occupy your nephew.

The sight made his heart clench but he turned his attention to your mother who now spoke up.

“You two have been going out some time now, things must be serious huh?” Teasingly she waggled her brows at Bucky which made him chuckle.

“I’d like to say they’re pretty serious. I really do love your daughter and I do my best to make her happy.” He replied.

His answer makes you smile. “We moved in together a couple months ago to our own place near Stark tower.” You speak up. Bucky moves to sit beside you at the table and rests his arm on the back of your chair, a football game plays in the background as you hear your father and brother mumbling things to the television.

Your nephew takes note of Bucky and tries to reach out to him which makes the dark haired man chuckle softly. He coos at the little one and lets his small fingers run along his cool metal hand which makes the boy let out a soft squeak.

Your sister in law speaks up, “So Bucky do you have any nieces and nephews? You seem like a natural when it comes to kids.”

He nodded. “Mmhm I do, my little sister Rebecca had children. Although I never got to meet them because of my circumstances, I am happy to hear she had quite the life.”

The woman nodded and gently bounced the little one in her arms.

“You two ever think about having kids?” Your mom asked from across the room, her hands busy peeling potatoes.

The question made your cheeks warm up. “Mother, we just moved in together, not that long ago.”

“So? Doesn’t mean you two can’t think about your future together. I’m assuming you see a future together right?” She aims this question at Bucky who nods without missing a beat.

You can’t help the excited butterflies that fill your belly. “We haven’t even spoken about it much, once we do then we’ll let you know our plan.” You reply with a laugh, brushing your mother off.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you know the plan.” He teases, speaking to your mom.

She nodded and finished up peeling the potatoes before she set them on the stove. Dinner was almost ready which helped you relax a bit, so far things weren’t as bad as they could’ve been but you still have nerves bubbling into your chest as everyone spoke.

Bucky could sense your nerves and he rubbed your back soothingly, eventually your sister in law took your nephew into the living room and joined your brother on the couch. The sight of the three cuddling up together to watch the football game made you indulge in a daydream with Bucky that you rarely allowed yourself.

It was of you both laughing and enjoying family dinners such as this one but instead of showing up with cupcakes you show up with a little girl of your own. A cousin your nephew could get to know once they’re both older.

You didn’t realize you were that spaced out until Bucky gave your shoulder a little shake, leaning in he whispered, “You okay baby?” Pulling back he looked at your features.

You nod and get up from your seat and you grab a bottle of water for yourself trying to distract yourself from the sweet little daydream. Taking a drink or two from the bottle you sat back down beside Bucky to which his arm curled around your shoulders once again, he gave your cheek a quick kiss which made you smile.

Your mom asked your little sister to set the dining room table which she did, meanwhile the door rang once again, you had an older sister but she had a family of her own which you assumed she’d be staying with her husbands family as they were closer but soon enough your niece came rushing in to give your mother a big hug. A toothy grin on her lips as she flung herself into your moms arms.

Your older sister and her husband came in moments later, she was sporting a small baby bump which made tears spring to your mothers eyes. Everyone chimed in and said congratulations, Bucky held you a bit closer as it grew a little louder in the home thanks to the surprise.

“Why don’t we take a step outside?” You whisper against his shoulder, looking up at him with soft eyes.

He nodded and got up to grab his coat for you. “I’ll meet you out there once you’re done?” He asked.

“Yeah baby, I’ll just be a moment or two.” With that he politely excuses himself for a breath of fresh air while you greet your sister and her family.

Just as you promised, a few moments later you meet Bucky outside on your family's porch and he drapes his jacket over your shoulders. “Are you doing okay so far?” You ask.

He nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist. “I’m okay, I just needed a moment alone with you.” His chest is to your back, his lips press a few butterfly kisses to your neck.

You hum softly in appreciation and the two of you have a few stolen kisses shared together before your little sister comes out to tell you and Bucky that dinner was ready. A faint blush crept up his neck at the interruption, giving your sister a sheepish smile. He kissed your cheek once more before holding the door open for you to head back inside.

Your family is gathered at the beautifully set dining table, your niece happily babbling about some children's show to your brother while your mom's passing around the mashed potatoes, you feel a hand rest upon your knee and smile up at Bucky as you recognize his touch. Your heart flutters at his smile, he genuinely looked happy.

Leaning in, you whisper to him, “I love you.” His blue eyes grow wide for a second but his smile stays plastered to his lips.

“I love you too, Doll. You’re what I’m most thankful for this year.” He says before he presses a kiss to your lips.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Bucky.” You reply. “Maybe next year I’ll be hosting dinner with a ring?” You tease with a soft laugh, earning a playful pinch to your side.

The rest of your evening you spend laughing, chatting and eating dinner with your family. You knew this is exactly how you wanted to spend your holidays, with your family and with the man you loved most.

[call-me-doll-face]

WARNING: Dark bucky barnes, sexual themes, violence, 18+

A/N: I wrote this on my phone so I apologize for no page break. Will be fixed when I have access to my computer ❤️

ME AND THE DEVIL:

I know you do not usually seek out men like him. In fact, someone smart would avoid the likes of him at all costs. Someone smart would find other means of getting what she wants; what she needs. Other alternatives. However most people would not call me smart. Would say I am easy, I am gullible, I am pathetic. However, I guess desperation can change your point of view, because I started thinking something on the wrong side of crazy.

I started thinking he could be my salvation.

Getting his attention was not difficult, unbelievably. Men like him want what they cannot have. Something unexpected, something exciting, lifechanging.

So, what do you give a man that has everything? Sex? That is almost laughable. He could have any women he wanted. They practically worship the ground he walks on.

Money? That thought is even worse. You can tell that he is drowning in it. Has more than any one man should.

Friendship? It is a nice thought, but he would never trust it. Never let you close enough to even try.

No... I gave him a chase. I let him see me in the seedy club that he frequents. Let his eyes skim the skimpy little black dress I wore just for him; then just when he had almost had his fill, I would take it away. Disappear into the crowd.

This little game of ours carried on for longer than I would have liked. It became a dance of sorts, our game of cat and mouse. Until I finally let him catch me.

I finally let him have me; let him control my very being. The act brings me more pleasure than I can handle, this big strong man consuming me body and soul. The power that came with submitting to him....

Slowly, I realized there was more to him than the man everyone hated and feared. There was compassion, empathy, and a heart filled to the brim with love.

That love wrapped around my heart and anchored me. Gave me a sense of safety I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

Over time, I felt bad for what I was doing to him, wanting to find a way to explain it all to him. Find a way to ask him to help me instead of trying to coerce it out of him.... I wanted him willing...

But he found me out before I got the chance.

We stand across from each other, backs pressed against walls and trading accusatory glances.

Bucky is furious, face tense and his jaw clenching. Brows are furrowed over narrowed eyes, making him look fierce, intimidating.

I can tell he wants to say something to me, wants to lash out, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just grits his teeth and snarls at me, which makes him seem even more menacing. A shiver of excitement runs through me at the strength and power of the man before me, curling around my spine and drawing me to him like a moth drawn to a flame.

Any sane person would be terrified, but not me. After all this time I know without a doubt James Buchanan Barnes would never harm me; would bet my life on it.

As I take a step towards him, I notice his back straightened, icy blue eyes throwing up a wall, guarding himself and his emotions from me. Too late, as I’d seen the pain and betrayal there. My heart cracks at it.

I had done that. I had put that look on this untouchable man's face. I’d hurt him, betrayed him, ruined him.

More than anything I want to fix it.

“Bucky... James... Please let me explain.” My voice is a soft plea, brown eyes begging as I take another step towards the man I had come to love.

This impossibly strong and stubborn man who had changed everything.

Broad shoulders slump in defeat at my tone, face downcast and eyes dull. He is closing off from me, but I will not let him. No.

Finally stepping before him, I let my hand cup his face gently. My thumb gently rubs at the corner of his mouth that had turned down slightly. Those eyes squeeze tight at my touch, face leaning into my hand desperately.

“Tell me it was real. Please tell me it was real. You weren't using me.” He begs, voice wavering with emotion and my heart breaks further. Lips trembling, I press my body closer to him, cupping his face and pressing my forehead to his.

“I love you... I love you buck; I love you.”

Lips meet mine desperately, hands gripping my back and pulling me flush to his hard body.

He is devouring me, drinking me in. His tongue licks at the seam of my lips and I instantly grant him access, whimpering when it snakes into my mouth and dances with mine.

“Say it. Please. Please say it.” The words are spoken against my mouth, hand sliding up to grip the nape of my neck firmly, demanding I give in to him. Blue eyes search mine as if trying to see right through me, trying to see into my very soul.

Was I sent to destroy him? Was I some cruel means to an end? Someone to break down his barriers, strip him of his armor and lay him out to dry? Leave him to his enemies to rip apart as they see fit?

Our breathes mingle, so close its hard to tell where one ends, and one begins. He is engulfing my very existence; I’ve never been more willing to drown.

My belly flutters with anxiousness as I will myself to give in, to trust that he will believe and understand me. Closing my eyes briefly I let a soft sigh leave my parted lips; let the tip of my tongue dart out to wet my bottom lip before gathering the courage to face him head on once again.

“I will tell you everything. Every single detail, all you have to do is ask. But right now, you must know that this, this thing between us, is one of the scariest yet realist things I have ever known. I wasn’t supposed to love you. I was never supposed to care for you the way I do now, but God do I.” his chest deflates with a shaky exhale at my words, the waft of air moving the loose strands of hair out of my face. “James- “ reaching up I cup the back of his head, caressing the soft brown hair there. “I want to be with you. I want to stay WITH you. I do not want to run from my problems anymore. I want to burn them to the ground and build a life with you.”

“But?” He mumbles, nuzzling against the side of my face.

“But…- “here we go. This will make or break whatever this is. “But my ex is a bad man.” Bucky’s body tenses at the mention of another man, pulling away to give me his full attention. “He is a bad man, and buck, he has my daughter. He has my daughter, and he wanted your money, and I could not let him hurt her.”

The more I talk the more panicked I feel. Its like word vomit, I cannot stop until I have gotten all of it out. My breathing quickens, chest starts to hurt with the stress of it as tears gather on my lash line, causing buck to become blurry.

“He told me he’d hurt her if I didn’t do exactly as he said. Oh god buck, she is only four years old.” A choked sob escapes from me, my hand reaching up to cover my mouth as a tear breaks free. Bucky just stands there, staring at me in shock as I drone on. “I know he will follow through if I disappoint him. He’s hurt the both of us more times than I can count already. His best friend is a police officer, so nobody had believed me when I’d tried to get help, it had only made things worse. I didn't have a choice.” I am full on crying now, body wracking with sobs as I hold myself, trying to keep myself together.

a variety of different emotions fleet across Bucky’s face before he finally settles on rage. It sets in his shoulders, fists clenching at his sides before shoving past me and out the door, walls slamming with the force of it shutting.

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I had thought that was that. That he was done with me. I went to the little sketchy hotel room I’d rented in case things went south, curled onto the bed I don’t like to think too much about, and sobbed. I sobbed until exhaustion took hold and drug me under.

Coming to felt even worse. My eyes had crusted shut from all the tears and my head throbbed with a migraine that almost cripples me.

It could have been hours, days for all I knew. I just didn’t care.

Just as I go to roll over in an attempt to go back to sleep the door to the room bursts open and there he is. There he is, covered in blood and practically dragging Gabe in by the back of his shirt.

“Bucky! Are you okay!” I gasp, jumping to my feet and rushing to him, terrified that some of the copious mounts of blood could be his.

Grunting he lets Gabe fall to the ground unceremoniously before engulfing me in a bone crushing hug. “I’m all right doll. Had some business I needed to take care of. I’m all right.”

I cling to him, letting the familiar scent of leather and gunpowder wash over me and calm my nerves. “I thought you were gone. That you’d left me.” My bottom lip wobbles, and he pulls back, cupping my jaw gently with his metal hand, thumb running over my lip to soothe it.

“I’m never leaving you, doll. I’m yours just as much as you are mine. But I will not have you without her.” It takes my mind a moment to process his words, but when it does my heart soars, eyes watering for a completely different reason than earlier.

“She- she’s here?”

“She is.” He quickly grabs my shoulders to prevent me from rushing past him and out the door, stops me from going to her. As if sensing the words of protest bubbling up, he gives me a stern look and I swallow them down with a frown. “First, business.” He indicates what said business is with a sharp kick to Gabe’s side, pulling a grunt from the other man.

“Y-you stupid whore. Couldn’t even do one damn thing right.” Gabe snarls with labored breath, drawing up onto his hands and knees with a pained groan. Blonde hair that is usually kept impeccable falls over his bruised and battered face in a greasy mess. Green eyes, red from busted blood vessels shoot up to glare at me.

Bucky remains quiet, yet I can feel his silent rage filling the room and choking us. I wait for the eruption, the blow up I know will come, but to my surprise he just clasps his hands together and moves to stand slightly behind me.

It dawns on me that this powerful man that everyone fears is giving me, little old nobody me, the lead. He’s letting me decide what happens to the man that tormented me and my daughter for years. Bucky is letting me take justice into my own hands.

When I turn uncertain eyes on him, he gives me the slightest dip of his chin, eyes shining with encouragement. “Burn them to the ground, then build a life.” They’re the softest words he’s ever spoken to me, and they give me all the confidence I need.

A humored laugh is heard from behind me as I straighten my spine and turn to face the pathetic excuse of a man that’s now on his knees before me. The blood in my veins sings with the satisfaction of him kneeling there. His rightful place; below me.

“You think that just because you fucked James Buchanan Barnes that suddenly you’re not the same little pathetic girl from a nowhere town in Ohio? Think again princess.” He sneers, spitting blood at my feet before turning hateful eyes back up at me. “Both you and that stupid little daughter of yours are useless. Hell, you weren’t even adequate enough to stick a dick in. what are you going to do to me, huh? Cry in my face, drown me in your tears?”

I let every word from his mouth soak in. let every hateful thing he’d done to me, made me feel, seep into every pore, and consume me. My own rage, mixed with Bucky’s, builds to an almost cataclysmic point, while all I feel is a calmness wash over me. My mind and heart go quiet as I just stare at him with empty eyes, not saying a word as he slowly starts losing his confidence, starts to squirm.

“You have absolutely no idea how much of a pleasure it is for me to see you on your knees, covered in blood and squirming like a rat caught in a trap.” My voice comes out even, smooth, and he instantly has a sneer back on his face at the words. Before he gets the chance to open his mouth and spew more bullshit, I turn on my heel to slightly face bucky. “You know, you were right about one thing, I’ll give you that... I’m most definitely not the same little girl from Ohio. What you WERE wrong about however is that it’s not because I fucked bucky, oh no, that honor goes to you.” Giving bucky a sweet smile, he watches in amusement, brow cocked as I lift the left side of his shirt and steal the lightweight combat blade he keeps hidden there.

Twirling it between my fingers I twist back and let Gabe see it, let him take a minute to sweat it as I take slow steps towards him.

“For years you made my life a living hell. You trapped me, moved me to a place where I had nothing; no one. You controlled everything. Who I socialized with, the money, hell it was you who made me get pregnant. Now that- “coming to a stop in front of him, I run the tip of my blade down his cheek, relishing in the flinch he gives at the first touch of metal against sensitive skin. “That was your first mistake.” A sharp cry tears from him as I clench my teeth and dig the edge of the blade in just under his eye, dragging it all the way down his cheek to his jaw in a bloody line.

“You fucking bitch- FUCK!” he shouts out, going to move away from me but bucky is instantly there, holding him in place with a harsh hold on his shoulders. The pure arousal in his eyes takes my breath away and I feel the excitement at pleasing him all the way down between my thighs. I never realized how exhilarating this could be. Setting my sights back on the man before me I let a crazed grin slide free.

“Do you want to know where you fucked up? You gave me someone to love more than you. You gave me someone I cared about more than myself. You tore me down to a point that I didn’t care what you did to me, but when you gave me that little girl? When you hurt, that little girl? Well, that was the beginning of the end for you.” Flipping the knife in my hand so that the hilt is up I slam down as hard as I can, feeling it slice through the bone like butter as it makes a home in his shoulder right by where Bucky’s hand rests.

Bucky seems just as surprised as Gabe, staring at the blade with wide eyed disbelief before his teeth flash in a wicked smile, laughing incredulously. Gabe screams, wiggles in agony, trying to escape the pain. With a giggle that I should be appalled by, I yank it out, blinking the warm blood splatters out of my eyes. My tongue flicks to the side of my mouth by its own accord and the tangy copper flavor fills my mouth. The sound of his pain is music to my ears, the raw pride that bucky exudes makes my clit throb.

“You’re going to pay for what you did. There will be so much more pain, this is only a small taste of what’s to come.” I can’t handle this anymore, my body shaking with so much pent-up energy that I feel as if I’ll combust. “But later.” When my brown eyes meet icy blue ones, my lips pull between my teeth, and those eyes flick to them, locking on to the movement.

Bucky, ever observant, seems to know what I need before even I do. Pulling rope from the back pocket of his tight fitted jeans he quickly ties Gabe’s wrists and ankles so that he can’t escape. Dark eyes move back up to me once he’s done, body appearing larger as he rounds Gabe, chest puffing out as he stalks me.

“What was your second mistake? So glad you asked, I’ll tell you.” placing my palm against his broad and sturdy chest, I halt bucky. His chest falls in even controlled breathes as he searches my face, trying to decipher what I want. When my eyes flick to the floor before me, right where Gabe had just been, he gives me a knowing smirk before he drops to one knee, then the other. Now, seeing him before me is a completely different type of excitement, but just as thrilling.

“You put this man in my path. A man you knew was dangerous. Could destroy you. Oh, but you never thought I'd confide in him. Tell him the truth…. Fall in love with him. No, you underestimated me.” Thick fingers hook into the waistband of my leggings, gently tugging them down my legs along with my panties. He lets out a deep groan at the wetness already visible on my thighs, inhales deeply, and takes in the smell of my arousal. Gripping under my knee, he hooks my leg over his shoulder and dives in like a starved man.

My head falls back at the first broad stripe up my center, a whimper as that skilled tongue flicks and curls around my bundle of nerves. The man is pure sin, knowing what I desire like the devil himself. His metal hand grips my hip, grounding me as he feasts on me, tongue spearing into me, drinking from me with obscene slurping noises. It doesn’t take long before I’m ready to crumble for him, the knot in my belly tightening and a warmth spreading over my entire body.

Looking to the man on the floor, seeing how red-faced and humiliated he looks, sends me ever closer to my climax, and I can't help but torment him even more. Cruelty has never been my nature, but I'm relishing in what it does to him. "He's so good, Gabe. So much better than you ever were." Bucky groans at my words, sending vibrations through my whole body. I gasp loudly, brows knitting at the feeling as my fingers bury in his soft locks. "How does it feel, watching someone so powerful worship the person you thought was nothing?"

"You stupid -"

Sliding his flesh hand between my legs, Bucky easily slips two fingers into me, instantly curling them and expertly finding that special spot inside me, and I’m a goner.

His name falls from my lips like a prayer, back arching as my orgasm crashes through me in waves. I can feel his eyes on me, watching me as he sucks my clit into his mouth and pumps his fingers faster, working to prolong my pleasure as long as he can.

When I finally come down, I push him away from me with a gentle hand on his head. Locking eyes with Gabe I let the delight show on my face. Gloating in the way bucky played my body like a fiddle. “It’ll be the last time you ever underestimate me."

Wrapping a firm hand around buckys throat i guide him backward until he’s on his back. He lets me control him and lifts his hips to help aid me in pulling his jeans down just under his ass. My mouth waters as his cock springs free, laying flushed and leaking against his belly. Usually, I would worship him. Let my tongue slide down his delicious happy trail to the base before licking all the way up his shaft to the tip. Usually. Not now.

Bucky watches with hooded eyes and teeth dug into his plump bottom lip as I climb over him. Fingers dig into the flesh of my hips as he leans up slightly to watch where we meet. I watch as those brows scrunch in concentration, and his jaw goes slack as I position myself and slowly slide down onto him. I take him all the way to the hilt in one slide, wincing at the burn of it, of him. He’s so big. It never matters how much he preps me. It’s always a stretch to fit him.

He looks at me desperately as I try to give myself time to adjust. I feel the muscles in his hips bunching, struggling not to thrust up into me, the thick muscles flinching under me. Taking pity on him, I lay my hands flat on his chest before raising myself up and dropping all the way down. The noises he makes as I start to ride him in earnest are sinful, feeling so good all his barriers are down, all his pleasure on full display.

He lets me take him apart right there in front of another man. Willingly submits to me, whines when I take him to the very edge then denies him his pleasure. “Please, please doll fuck. So fucking close, please stop teasing me. Come one baby, ride that cock, let me fill that pretty pussy up, please baby doll I’ll do anything you want.” He whines and pleads. Pulling him into a sitting position I cradle his head against my chest as I bounce, feeling my climax coming once again as his cock slides against my walls, rubbing every spot flawlessly.

Meeting Gabe eyes once again over bucks’ shoulder, I give him a triumphant smirk as I rest my chin on the top of Buckys head. “Cum for me baby. Be a good boy and fill that pussy up.” As soon as the words leave my mouth he’s cursing, shouting my name and his hips jerk erratically, shooting ropes of hot cum into me and coating my walls. The feeling of his cum in me sends me over the edge right after him, and the clenching of my walls around him coaxes another orgasm from him as well, our cries and shouts echoing around the room.

Gabe finally breaks, pathetic sobs and pleads leaving him as he presses his face into the old carpet.

Ignoring the pest in the room, We take a minute to bask in each other, pressing soft kisses to any part of skin we can reach, trading soft works to one another. Once our heart rates have calmed down, he gives me one more chaste kiss. “Ready to go see our little girl?”

[angstysebfan]

You Matter To Me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary:  This is based on the song “You Matter To Me” from Waitress the Musical. It’s not a replica of what happens in the play, but the words in the song. Song lyrics are in italics. Warnings: Slight Angst, Sad Lonely Reader, Fluff

A/N: I’ve wanted to rewrite this fic for awhile. The story is the same, but I didn’t like how I did it the first time. I hope you all enjoy it even more than before. Please know that my stories were no beta’d or edited, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes or misspellings. Also please note again I am rewriting most if not all of my masterlist, so if you read my stories, be prepared cause most of them are going to be fixed if they haven’t already lol.

I can find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes They see things you never quite say, but I hear Come out of hiding, I’m right here beside you and I’ll stay there as long as you let me

You’re in your living room of your small one bedroom apartment, slow dancing with him. He holds you close and sings softly into your ear as you release a sigh of contentment. You never in a million years thought that you could ever find the happiness you’re currently engulfed in. People assume that being the only child of the rich and famous (your dads name), your life is set and happiness is a given. You know for a fact that it's not true, as you purposely ran away from the "rich kid" life the moment you were able to.

Your parents always treated more like a burden then their child. You were practically raised by nannies because they didn't want to give up the partying lifestyle. They never once celebrated the day you were born, always going out with friends on trips or something instead. When they were home, you were never allowed to make any noise or be a normal kid because they considered that a disturbance.

As you got older, you started to resent your life. Any "friends" you made didn't really care about you at all. They wanted to be seen with the daughter of the famous Y/F/N, the richest man in the country. They knew if the paparazzi saw them with you, they would be on Page Six and be set. You never wanted to be the center of attention. It never interested you, but you also didn't want to be used. You found yourself feeling very lonely all the time, even in a crowded room.

Eventually, when you were old enough, you ran away from that life. You wanted as much separation as possible. Your parents wouldn't care anyway, so you didn't move far. You found yourself in the middle of Brooklyn working as a waitress as a small diner. It didn't pay much, but it helped you afford your tiny shoebox apartment that you loved and food. You felt like you were finally free and happy. You started going out more, and even made some real friends who liked you for your personality, rather your wealth, since you no longer had any.

Once night you were out with some friends and were sitting at a bar. Nursing your cranberry vodka, you kept thinking how much your life has improved, and how much happier you were without your parents money. You suddenly saw someone sit next to you and you looked over with a smile. You would lie if you said he wasn't the most handsome man you have ever seen. He had short brown hair, the bluest eyes imaginable, and a strong jawline partially hidden under some scruff. When he looked at you and smiled, your heart immediately fluttered.

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too I promise you do, you’ll see You matter to me

You found yourself falling into easy conversation with the handsome man, whose name was Bucky. You learned he was a mechanic who lived in the same neighborhood as you, and that he grew up in Brooklyn to middle class parents and knew the value of hard work. It was refreshing to say the least. Listening to how his parents supported him and his siblings with their aspirations and dreams, no matter what they were. You were jealous, because your parents couldn't give a damn about you. Hell they never even tried to find you when you left. Bucky tried to ask about your life, but you weren't ready to hash that out, so you just quickly changed the subject. He smiled and decided to go with it.

You and Bucky start to hangout more often and you find yourself falling... hard. He would take you on little dates around Brooklyn, and you both would stay out late just talking about things. You wanted to tell him about your past, but you were scared it would scare him away. When he wanted to treat you to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan that you know your parents frequent, you immediately decline. You felt it was time to finally tell him the truth about yourself. Bucky sat with you, holding your hand as you told him all about your upbringing and your thoughts and feelings about your parents. You were in awe when you were done he pulled you to him and kissed you.

"I can't imagine how hard that much have been for you," he said with no sarcasm.

You then and there that he actually cared about you and your feelings. He didn't think you were some spoiled brat that didn't get enough attention. He knew money was not important to you, and that all you've ever longed for was to be loved. He wanted to be the one to show you the love you've always deserved, and hopefully you can let him in. And maybe love him just as much in return.

It’s addictive the minute you let yourself think The things that I say, just might matter to someone, All of this time I’ve been keeping my mind on the running away For the first time I think I’d consider the stay.

At first you were worried when Bucky asked you to move in with him. Yes, you had been dating for over a year, and yes you cared for him with ever fiber of your being, but you still had hesitations when he said it back. You kept telling yourself he really loved you and to let him in, but it was harder to do than you realized. Bucky was always patient and understanding. He allowed you to take your time and really think about it with no pressure. But you wanted to let him in so bad. He's been so good to you, so you finally agree to move in.

It took some time for you to get used to Bucky constantly wanting to take care of you. You've always taken care of yourself, so to have him wanting to do that was surprising. He constantly tells you how much you mean to him, but you still find it hard to believe sometimes. He buys you flowers every week, takes you on small romantic trips, and cooks you dinners. Your walls slowly start crumbling little by little as you let him in, because you know you are as much in love with him, as he seems to be with you. Every day when you come home from work, he asks about your day, and generally cares. He pays attention to every word you say, he laughs at jokes you make, gets irritated when hearing about stupid customers, or holds you as you cry after a hard frustrating day. He's there every time you need him, and even when you don’t.

You are there for him just as much, knowing that a true relationship means you both have to give the same amount. As time goes on, your walls around your heart are gone, and you've completely given your heart to Bucky. He and his family have welcomed you with open arms, and you never felt as loved and accepted as you do with him. When he dropped to one knee to ask you to be his wife, you didn't hesitate for a second before saying yes, because there was no other answer.

Because you matter to me Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too I promise you do, you’ll see You matter to me

You look up at your fiancee and smile before giving him a soft kiss. You then look at the small diamond on your finger with so much happiness. Bucky apologized it wasn't bigger, but you told him, and you meant it, that you wouldn't want anything more than what he has given you. Your life is perfect as long as you have him, and are in his arms. Bucky was everything you didn’t know you needed in your life.

For the first time, you feel loved and cherished. You feel like you finally matter to someone. Not just someone, Bucky Barnes, the man you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with. 

--

Bucky is so fucking amazing in this story. I love him so much! Feedback is appreciated! Also if you wish to be apart of my new taglist, please let me know.

Permanent Taglist: @rebekahdawkins @marajade1974 @missvelvetsstuff @phillygirl77 @pattiemac1 @winterslove1917 @vampire7595

[kilikina34512]

Perfect

Let me preface this story by saying that I'm well aware that Ed Sheeran's song Perfect was not written or sung anywhere near the 40s. I'm taking creative liberties here. Divider courtesy of @firefly-graphics. Make sure to check them out!

Pairing: Winter Soldier Bucky x f!reader

Summary: After crashing into the ice together, you and Steve worked together as best friends and Avengers in the 21st century. The both of you, though, had left a piece of you behind in the past: his best friend and the love of your life. When you're stuck facing off against HYDRA's weapon, the Winter Solider, you discover the past may not have stayed there.

Warnings: bit of angst with HEA, violence (non-descript), fluff at the end

Word Count: 1,296

"Doll!"

The yell came from a concerned Steve, who was currently trying to make his way to you but was being held up by fighting three HYDRA soldiers at once. Yet, despite the fight happening around him, in the back of your mind, you couldn't be surprised that he still had an eye on you.

He'd made a promise to his best friend to watch over you after all.

Which he was no doubt kicking himself for not upholding as you were currently pinned underneath one of the worse HYDRA soldiers: the Winter Soldier. Both hands wrapped around your throat, you felt your air beginning to become restricted, causing a moment for your brain to flash back to an alley beside a bar in Germany about 70 years ago with a pair of blue eyes and a raspy voice in your ear whispering that he'd make sure you couldn't alert the fellow soldiers inside how good you could take him.

You were quickly pulled out of the memory, ignoring the pulsing pain in your heart, as you realized you couldn't breathe at all anymore. Despite your body reflexively trying to suck in as much oxygen as it couldn't get, you still caught the soldier off guard as you slammed your fist into the side of his head, knocking him off of you.

Rolling to the side and rising to your feet fast as you regained your breath, you felt the large, reassuring hand against your upper back. "You alright," Steve asked, concern in his voice as neither of you took your eyes off of the enemy in front of you. You confirmed you were as you watched the Winter Soldier rise to his feet, his back to you and the mask he'd been wearing at his feet where you'd caused it to come off with your hit.

Sliding a foot behind you, settling quickly into your fighting stance, ready for him to come for either of you again, you couldn't help but stare at the back of his head. Another memory flashed before your eyes, as they seemed to be doing ever since HYDRA's weapon had landed in front of the sedan you'd been traveling in. That shoulder-length hair, the same brunette color that you grabbed countless times whenever it was between your thighs.

You shook your head, dislodging the memory. You knew after this fight, you'd have a good cry session after you pounded your way through Steve's stack of punching bags. You couldn't escape reminders of your fiancé, something you'd thought you'd gotten good at handling, but then you weren't typically facing constant flashbacks like you were currently. You could usually handle a flashback here and there, now that time and therapy had allowed you to escape experiencing them daily, but nothing ever took away the pain or hollow hole in your chest that his death had left. Despite that, you'd reached a point of handling just about anything.

Nothing could've prepared you for the next few moments.

You lost all composure as the Winter Soldier turned to face you and Steve. You weren't sure if your heart stopped altogether or began beating faster than it ever has before. Your surroundings faded as all you could suddenly hear was the roaring in your ears of your own blood. Your lungs seized as if you were being deprived of oxygen all over again and you were sure your eyes were wrong.

Your eyes had to be wrong.

He was dead.

Steve stepped forward, and if you'd been able to tear your eyes away, you would've seen a level of shock on his face that mirrored your own as he quietly said, "Bucky?"

Oh, lord above. It was him. He was alive. Your eyes weren't wrong.

It was your Bucky. Your soulmate. Your fiancé.

Unexplainable joy filled your body before it was almost completely drained with the words that left his mouth.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

The Winter Soldier, who apparently was Bucky, launched his attack, but you couldn't move. It wasn't until the sound of his metal fist, oh lord above he had a metal prosthetic and you were going to have to process the millions of scenarios that could've caused that to happen later, collided with Steve's vibranium shield that you snapped out of the shocked daze you'd been stuck in seeing the love of your life standing in front of you, looking as young and Steve and you appeared.

You were prepared this time when he came for you and you successfully blocked him. The three of you continued to be locked in combat as Bucky stayed on the offense, neither you nor Steve being able to bring yourselves to harm him. Steve stayed focused on trying to keep the both of you from getting hurt, especially once Bucky pulled out a knife, but you couldn't stop trying to get him to snap out of whatever trance had him in its grip.

No amount of pleas, begging, or reminders of his past seemed to be getting through to him. "Bucky, please, I know you're in there," you cried as you jumped between the once best friends after Bucky kicked into the side of a truck. "I know you are, come back to me."  As Bucky's gaze shifted back to you, you continued, "I lost you once, I will not give you up again."

That was the first falter you saw in his behavior. 

For a second, he froze.  A look of confusion crossed his face and you were suddenly struck with an idea. 

You put a hand up, signaling to Steve to wait, and you started to sing.  "'Cause we were still kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was.  I will not give you up, this time."

In your peripheral vision, you saw Sam, who'd been fighting as well, land beside Steve.  "What is she doing," he asked skeptically.  His displeasure was obvious since Bucky was slowly approaching you, but Steve wasn't intervening and you were singing of all things. 

Steve, catching on, said, "Just wait and see, I think she's getting through."

"But darling, just kiss me slow," you continued, "your heart is all I own, and in your eyes you're holding mine."

Bucky took his final step, standing in front of you, watching you sing with rapt attention.  His eyes flickered as if recognition was dawning.  Music seemed to be helping him regain control. 

"Baby, I'm," you began the chorus alone, but as you continued, Bucky joined in, "dancing in the dark."  Floored that he was singing back, his raspy voice low as it always was when you sang together, you were stunned silent as he continued, eyes locked on yours. 

"With you between my arms.  Barefoot on the grass while listening to our favorite song." You couldn't resist reaching for him anymore.  Slowly, you raised your hand until it rested against his cheek.  He didn't move, but his eyes shuttered closed. 

"When you said you looked a mess," you rejoined, singing together just like you had decades ago before the war, "I whispered underneath my breath but you heard it.  Darling, you look perfect tonight."

His eyes slowly opened and you were met with love and affection.  "My Doll," he breathed, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you against him and clinging to you as if you'd disappear if he did.  You couldn't control the sob of both loss and joy as you truly began to believe you had the love of your life again. 

As you stood amongst the distraction around you, with Steve and Sam watching not far, you didn't know what the future was going to hold, what happened to your Bucky in the past, but at that moment in the present, everything was okay.  And you planned to do everything to make sure this second chance at a happy future wasn't lost again.

[spankysparkles]

Chapter one of Holidays with Parents-- OUT NOW! Nico, Will, Frank, and Hazel are invited to the Underworld for Thanksgiving. AND Nico meets Will’s grandparents and stays with them over Christmas.

Read it from me on wattpad here: https://www.wattpad.com/1490346422-holidays-with-parents-a-solangelo-story-chapter-1

Read it from my co-author emonemo on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60250846/chapters/153751237

[averysmolbear]

Keep Marching On

CW: this one has some angst to it. there's some mentions of violent nightmares, death, ptsd, and some violence towards some inanimate objects. Bucky's little sister is mentioned as well as a few made up family members for Bucky. (If I'm missing anything else, I'm so sorry and I will add to this if I remember anything else that could be triggering in this!)

A/N: this is set probably just before the Falcon & the Winter Soldier series, give or take. If there's any spelling mistakes or anything of the sort, that's all on me and I'll try to give this a once over down the line to maybe edit it and fix stuff like that.

Waking up, gasping, with his body covered in a cold sweat seemed to be the new normal for James Buchanan Barnes. Maybe the brainwashing of HYDRA had been wiped out - although that theory had yet to be fully tested, in his opinion - but the nightmares would never leave him. It was his penance for the deeds he had done as an assassin and it was a price that he seemed to have to pay nightly.

His best friend, Steve Rogers, loved to remind Bucky that he hadn’t been himself at the time but that didn’t seem to matter to the former assassin. It didn’t change the guilt that clung to Bucky like a second skin. The nightmares came no matter how much Steve tried to tell his friend that he wasn’t the villain. Some of those nightmares were worse than others but they had become oddly comforting in their own way. They were, after all, the one consistent thing he felt he had anymore.

Bolting up in bed, Bucky gasped as he tried to catch his breath. His head was swimming with so many visions but they seemed to start to fade a bit as he opened his eyes. His heart hammered in his chest as his hands - one made of flesh and one made of vibranium - clutched tightly to the threadbear blanket that his legs had become tangled in.

Outside of his apartment, thunder rolled, although Bucky had missed the lightning flash that had come before. His room was dark save for the faint pink light of the neon sign on the roof of the building next door to the one where he was staying. The sound of rain on the window muted the sounds of the city outside but if he strained his ears, he could still hear cars on the streets below as people went about their night.

New York City - the city that never sleeps, Bucky thought as his breathing evened out. How appropriate.

This was home or it had been once, a lifetime ago. Now it all felt a bit foreign to him. Nothing really looked like it had when he had been growing up and yet there were things about the city that seemed like they had never changed. The feeling of disorientation still stuck with Bucky more than he would have liked. It didn’t help that these days he didn’t see Steve, the only person in this world who could understand some of what he was going through. It left Bucky alone in the world while he tried desperately to get his head right.

Bucky had been grateful for his time in Wakanda, of course. They had worked hard there to untangle the mess left in his brain and it appeared to work for the most part. He had even found peace there for a time, content to live a life away from all of the things he had known. He had been an outsider but it had been something of a fresh start for Bucky. 

But all good things tended to come to an end.

War found him again and ever the soldier, he had willingly fought when Steve had come for him in Wakanda. The price, though, had been high. Bucky and others had disappeared for five years, lost in ‘the snap’ or whatever people had chosen to call it. Coming back had been easy enough for Bucky. It wasn’t that different from being woken up from cryo sleep again after all. Then Steve had made a bone-headed decision - something Bucky had fully expected, of course - and now he was lucky if he caught up with the old man once a month.

The return hadn’t been anything Bucky hadn’t experienced before though. He was used to losing chunks of time, used to the world moving forward while he was stuck behind. None of this was unusual for him, which just made the nightmares worse. It had been a reminder, something that woke up parts of Bucky’s brain that he had hoped to compartmentalize. The memories weren’t horrible all of the time but it didn’t make the nightmares every night any better.

A flash of lightning bathed the room in a bright light as Bucky let go of the blanket he had been holding in a death grip. Slowly he was coming back to reality, shaking as much of the pain that tonight’s dream had dredged up in his scrambled brain. His heartbeat had slowed, his breaths had evened out. He kicked his legs free from the mess of the blanket and sheet he had become tangled up in before shifting to sit on the edge of the bed.

It creaked with every move but Bucky hardly noticed the sound anymore. One glance at the digital clock to his right let him know that it was 3:05 AM. He didn’t bother with the lights as he moved toward the chair in the living room area of his studio apartment. It was a small space and in four long strides he had crossed the room. A heather gray t-shirt had been haphazardly tossed over the back of the chair and he grabbed it now.

Bucky was pulling it on as he shuffled toward the bathroom. His bare feet made nearly no noise as he walked. He moved through the apartment with a level of stealth that he had previously reserved for his missions. Now it was merely a holdover from that time, a hard habit for the former assassin to break.

The bathroom door was already open wide and Bucky reached in to flip on the light, blinking a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the light. In the silence, he used the bathroom and moved to the sink to wash his hands. His hair, recently shorn short again, stuck up in several different directions. He eyed the reflection that stared back at him and he realized that he barely recognized the face he saw.

With a sigh, he splashed some of the warm water on his face. Sleep wasn’t likely to come to him so he knew that he might as well try washing away some of the sweat and the sleep. With another scoop of the water, Bucky was wetting down his hair, letting the water drip down the back of his neck. He quickly raked his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it a bit, although it didn’t do much good.

He sighed again, still staring at his reflection. There were dark circles under his eyes, evidence of his lack of sleep lately. The man who looked back at him from the mirror looked tired in every sense of the word; he looked broken and like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Flashes of memories soon filled his mind and he looked down, gripping the sink tightly. He closed his eyes, trying to will away the memory of another victim.

I’ll never be free.

As he heard the porcelain sink creak under his grip, Bucky quickly let it go. He didn’t want to have to fix it again. After the third time he had gone to the hardware store for a replacement sink, he vowed to not break another. The only problem was that this one - the fifth replacement - was clearly cracking. At least fixing it would give him something to do.

Bucky had already painted his small studio apartment twice. He had replaced the kitchen cabinets and then he had repainted them as well. He had made a point to buy furniture that he would have to put together himself (if only because he didn’t have the space to build any furniture himself) and he even helped his neighbors with a leaky kitchen sink and later with replacing their toilet.

As long as he kept busy, he kept the demons at bay so Bucky found ways to keep himself busy as often as possible.

He often felt like whatever had been done to unscramble his brain, had opened the floodgates instead. While he was grateful that he had been deprogrammed, it didn’t change the fact that he was remembering things that he didn’t always want to remember. Some days the flow of memories was easier to deal with than on other days though. He didn’t mind so much when it was childhood memories but that was rarely the case, especially when he slept.

Bucky couldn’t busy his mind with trivial things when he slept and his subconscious used that against him time and time again. Sometimes the nightmares were clear memories, reminding him of the monster that he had been. He might see a mission from start to finish, realizing by the morning that he had viewed it all with such a detached coldness. While that had been necessary for his survival, it wasn’t who Bucky wanted to be anymore.  

It was when his mind let the memories bleed together that Bucky had the hardest time. There were times when his childhood friends made appearances in his nightmares, his brain morphing what should be a happier time into some kind of personal hell for him to deal with come morning.

Tonight it had been that kind of a dream, half rooted in his life before he was made into a killing machine for HYDRA. It didn’t help that he was half-sure he recognized the person he had been sent to kill in his nightmare. There had been a moment when he had been so sure that he knew the person who he was choking the life out of but he just squeezed tighter, waking up a moment before the life faded from the person’s eyes.

Now that he was awake, Bucky couldn’t say what the victim had looked like nor did he seem sure why he recognized them. It could have been anyone from his life before whose face had bled into the hellscape that was his time with HYDRA. The more he tried to make sense of it, the less any of it made any sense at all.

For some reason this nightmare had done more to rattle him than any he had had in awhile. Most faded from his thoughts by the time his feet hit the floor. This one was lingering in its own way. If he tried hard enough, Bucky thought he might even be able to remember the face of his nightmare victim.

Something told him that it wasn’t a road that he would want to travel down though.

He shuffled to the kitchen, knowing that sleep wasn’t going to be an option, and he started a pot of coffee. He yawned as he added the water to the machine. Physically Bucky was awake or as awake as a person could be after only a few hours of sleep. Mentally he was exhausted.

That was a feeling he was growing accustomed to since it seemed to be one of the few things that he felt with any consistency these days.

He began to tidy up - if only to keep his hands and his mind busy - as the aroma of freshly brewing coffee filled his tiny apartment. He picked a notebook given to him by Steve and stared at it a moment. The pages inside were blank, waiting for Bucky to fill them. Steve told him to start jotting down his dreams and his memories but Bucky still didn’t know what good that would do. There were some things that he just didn’t think were worth holding on to where those things were concerned after all.

Bucky set it aside, shaking his head at himself. It couldn’t hurt. Stop being so stubborn.

He knew that every excuse he had to not do this could easily be put aside. Bucky knew the notebook and the words inside of it would be just for him. He had done it before when he was first trying to come to grips with his new reality. He kept those notebooks in a box in the closet, only bringing them out on very rare occasions. He debated pulling them out but Bucky didn’t know if he wanted to relive any of that right now. Tonight had been so odd that he wasn’t sure a trip down memory lane would be a good idea. Still even as he moved back to the kitchen, his mind wandered to the notebooks. 

He filled a mug and sat at the table, glancing down to see the empty notebook sitting there like it was waiting for him. Bucky would have laughed if he had been in a better mind set. He took a tentative sip from the plain white mug. He burned the tip of his tongue on the hot liquid but hardly seemed to notice. 

Bucky reached for a pen and opened the notebook to the first page. The blank, clean sheet of paper felt somehow intimidating to the former soldier. He took a deep breath, pen in hand, and decided to go for it. It couldn’t hurt to get what was floating around in his head down onto the pages of the notebook after all.

As soon as he started writing, he was surprised by how easily the words came to him. The face that tonight’s dream had been so oddly vivid which might have helped. He was surprised when he looked back at everything he had been able to write down. It had been jotted down so hastily that he didn’t remember writing most of it but as he reread it now, it felt like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest.

“Rebecca,” he softly said.

The name fell out of his mouth before he realized he had spoken it aloud. He hadn’t thought of any of his siblings in so long but he remembered with complete certainty that Rebecca had been his favorite. Just two years younger than him, she had idolized Bucky and she had been so broken-hearted when he told her that he was joining the Army. She had taken it harder than their mother, crying the day he had to deploy. It had broken his heart to see her that way and Bucky’s eyes teared up even thinking of it now.

It had been her face that he had been looking at in his nightmare. It had been Rebecca’s slender throat that his hand had been wrapped around. It had been her life that he had ended with such coldness. He hadn’t thought twice about the pleading look his sister had given him as he tightened his grip more and more until she took her last breath.

His chest felt tight and his breathing became sharper. It hadn’t been true but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Bucky closed his eyes as he pushed the nightmare from his vision. He tried to pluck out the gentler memories of his sister, working his way back from the last moment he recalled seeing her. He flitted from memory to memory, his pulse slowing as he did so.

The last image Bucky focused on was of Rebecca at sixteen. He had been bouncing around in the mess that was his brain before but this memory came to him clearly. It was a true and happy memory that he didn’t mind lingering on as he tried to settle his racing thoughts. Rebecca had been all done up for her first date. Bucky had done his damnedest to intimidate the boy taking her out and he could recall her voice in perfect clarity telling him to lay off the guy, something that had made both Steeve and Bucky laugh at the time.

With Steve as such a fixture in the Barnes household, it was a wonder to Bucky that Rebecca and Steve had never gone on a single date. Of course he guessed that the two had only seen each other as siblings. Still Bucky knew that the two of them together would have made sense in another lifetime. It wasn’t like he could ask either of them now. He wasn’t even sure where to find his sister and that was only if she was still alive.

Bucky closed the notebook, sliding it away. He worried that the words on the page might trigger another panic attack if he kept staring at them. He reached for his coffee, his hand steadier than Bucky had thought it might be given the way he felt. The mug was still warm to the touch and the coffee inside of it was of a drinkable temperature now. He took a long drink as he tried to decide what to do with his day, settling on fixing the bathroom sink and maybe trying to find out what happened to his sister.

*** *** *** ***

Bucky had been surprised how asking the right people could get him quick answers. Less than 36 hours after inquiring about his family, Sam Wilson had shown up at Bucky’s apartment with several manilla folders filled with miscellaneous pieces of paperwork. Sam had offered to help but Bucky had made it clear that this was something he had to do himself. To his surprise, Sam had only nodded and told Bucky to call him if he needed anything.

Once he was alone he went through each paper meticulously, piecing together what had happened to his family after he had ‘died’. This had been a rabbit hole that he hadn’t wanted to go down but after the nightmare, Bucky knew that he had to know. It had been no surprise to him that most of his family had died in the years since he had left Brooklyn. Not that it made any of it hurt any less. He had been pleased to see that Rebecca had become a nurse and that she had married someone who had been in the Army.

“Rebecca Sheppard,” Bucky said, almost as if to test out the name his little sister had taken. Somehow it felt right when he said it aloud. He was proud to see that Rebecca had done something positive with her life after he was gone although he wished he could have told her that himself.

She and her husband had had three children. Two sons and a daughter. The daughter still lived in Brooklyn and had married, having two kids of her own, James and Rebecca. Rebecca’s husband had died at the age of 55 in a car accident. She had died at the age of 82 and she was buried in Cypress Hill Cemetery.

He knew that the least that he could do was go to visit her grave. He had been actively avoiding visiting the gravesites of the family that had long since died, leaving Bucky alone in the world. Connections were rare for him although some of that came from not wanting to get anyone mixed up in the mess that was his everything. His life was certainly not something that could easily be explained and his mind was still a bit of a mess on its own. Knowing where Rebecca was buried seemed to push Bucky into acting however. He hadn’t felt the need to visit the graves of his parents nearly as much as he did when thinking of the kid sister that he had left behind.

Thumbing through everything again, Bucky let out a soft sigh. He pulled out the photographs that he had been avoiding looking through. His heart ached as he saw the photos of his little sister and of the family that she had ultimately built in his absence. He could see how happy she was in the snapshots, moments in time when Rebecca had been able to build a future for herself.

She had only gotten prettier as she had gotten older and Bucky felt a stinging in his eyes as he looked at the photo of her holding one of her babies. He had missed so much more than he had even imagined. He had believed for a time that not knowing about any of this would somehow make starting over easier but Bucky knew that seeing what he had missed out on hurt but it also helped. At least he knew that everyone he had left behind - the most important people in his life - had been able to pick up the pieces after he had ‘died’. It didn’t dull the ache he felt when he realized he could have been there to watch Rebecca blossom and to see her children but knowing that she had been able to do those things made him feel at least a bit better.

There was one picture that Bucky lingered on. He looked over it, brows furrowed as he tried to place what it was he felt in that moment. It was Rebecca’s granddaughter who had also been named Rebecca by her parents as an apparent homage to his little sister. She looked so much like his sister although her eyes were a different color -- more green than blue -- but he felt a pain in his chest as he looked at the photo. He set it aside, reaching for his phone. He took a deep breath, letting out a soft sigh. Bucky knew if he didn’t do this, then he might not ever get the courage up to do it. He found the phone number among all of the papers he had been sorting through earlier. His brows were furrowed again as he dialed the number. He lifted the phone to his ear, barely able to hear the ringing over the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

He heard the click of someone picking up on the other end and a confused female voice saying hello. Bucky froze for the moment; even the sound of her voice was so much like his sister’s. He swallowed hard before clearing his throat, rasping out a hello. It took a moment for the person on the other end to respond, asking who it was and what they wanted. Bucky realized that the person sounded panicked and he took a deep breath before he drove into explaining everything. He spoke in a rushed tone, trying to get everything out before the person could hang up.

To Bucky’s surprise, Rebecca believed him. She even agreed to meet up with him later in the week. She would be in the area, running some errands, and promised that she could make a little time to meet him for coffee. Relieved, Bucky gave Rebecca a place, letting her set the time that they would meet. He hung up and he felt like a weight was lifted off of him.

This wasn’t the same thing as having his family back but it was a piece of that. It was a connection to his past that he hadn't had before and it was something that Bucky knew that he sorely needed.

[yoursweetsix66]

Bucky and Steve are happy and healthy and in a relationship again between the events of Civil War-Infinity War, and anytime Bucky sees the scars the Winter Soldier left on Steve’s body, and just can’t forgive himself. He still blames himself, he still thinks, how could I do that to him? It’s gotten to the point where, during showers or sex, Bucky has to stop and calm himself down (with Steve right by his side, of course) so that he doesn’t throw himself into a pit of depression and regret, again. After a long while of Steve trying to help Buck re-train his brain, to make sure he knows that he was not the problem. That he was not to villian here, Steve started to show him his scars in a new light. Telling Bucky how his own scars are beautiful, because they are a part of him, and now his are beautiful too, because they are part of Steve. He tells Bucky, that scars don’t have to hold the emotions of memories, they can be there to show how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve changed.

“Buck, my body is a part of you, your body is a part of me. See this here?” Steve took a hold of Bucky’s hand, and pressed it into the bullet scar on his abdomen. “I look at this everyday. Do you know why?” Bucky shook his head, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. “Because it is a constant reminder, that I have you. Bucky Barnes. Not the Winter Soldier, not the Asset, you. Who took care of me for years, when I was sick, and disabled, unable to move. You did. You gave me a reason to live, Buck. That’s the Bucky I know. That’s the Bucky I saw that day on the bridge. The one who loved everyone, and stopped at nothing to make sure he could do his part to make everyone’s lives the best they could be. Honey, our scars aren’t bad things. They are beautiful, beautiful things.” Steve placed a gentle kiss on Bucky’s forehead. Moving his hands to cup Bucky’s face. Even after Steve’s moved, Bucky’s hand stayed fixed on that spot, the spot that was once a bleeding bullet hole. He still blames himself, but having Steve makes it a little easier to put those harmful and upsetting thoughts at ease, makes it easier to forgive.

[needmorereading]

Oh, the pining! 💖 Love it! 👏

Ficlet Friday?

A slightly buzzed Bucky just being the cutest or in love or both. Definitely a fluff-ficlet. Your choice on which Bucky 😉

I tried to make it fluffy, nonnie, but it does have a touch of angst. Sorry!

Pretty Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: Over 700

Warnings: Tipsy Bucky, encouraging friends, slight angst

You were reading a book in the lounge when laughter rang out through the hall, a smile touching your lips. The guys decided to do a “boys' night out” and it sounded like they had a good time. Between being heroes and the trials and tribulations they all went through, they deserved it.

“Hey! Pretty girl!”

You didn't turn toward the sound of Bucky’s voice immediately as much as you wanted to. Glancing around, you were the only one in the lounge, so who was he talking to? It would mean everything for him to call you pretty, but you were just… you.

“Steeeeve. I don’t think she heard me,” Bucky loudly whispered.

“Then say it again with feeling,” Steve loudly whispered back.

“Got it.” Bucky sucked in breath which gave you enough time to cover your ears. “HEY! PRETTY GIRL!”

“Jesus Christ, I can hear you guys,” you confirmed, shutting your book. There went your quiet evening. “I guess stealth isn’t your strong suit tonight.”

You shrieked when Bucky suddenly sat beside you, casually throwing an arm over your shoulders. Okay, he was still stealthy, and he looked amazing in his jeans and henley. “There’s my pretty girl. I missed you,” he smiled.

“Um…” You looked around to find Steve, Thor, Sam, Joaquin, and Clint hovering by with expectant looks on their faces. You tried to come up with something witty, but all you said was, “What?”

Bucky chuckled, his cheeks a bit more pink than usual. “My pretty girl is adorable, isn’t she?” he said over his shoulder before looking at you with hearts in his eyes.

You leaned in to get a closer look at him, catching a small whiff of liquor mixed with his cologne. “You’re tipsy,” you said. How was that possible?

“No, I’m Bucky. And you’re pretty,” he smiled, the dreamy look still in his eyes. “Pretty eyes, pretty smile, pretty voice. Even your name’s pretty.”

As happy as you were to hear those things, even as your heart pounded, you looked to the guys for help because Bucky couldn’t be serious. “How?”

“My apologies,” Thor spoke even louder than usual. “I shared some of my Asgardian liquor with Barnes and Rogers and… Well-”

“Bucky hasn’t shut about you,” Sam cut in, rolling his eyes. “‘My girl is the prettiest girl there is.’”

“‘Isn’t my girl brilliant? And so kind!’” Clint mocked.

“‘Her smile just lights up the room’,” Joaquin added.

“Guys, c’mon. It’s sweet,” Steve smiled before he said, “‘I’ll bet her kisses even taste pretty.’”

Heat filled your cheeks. Bucky didn’t deny a thing, so they were telling the truth, weren’t they? “But I’m not-”

The former Winter Soldier placed a hand on your cheek, drawing your attention back to him. “Don’t look at them, pretty girl. Look at me.”

You did, and it made you want to cry. Because you weren’t his girl. He was only saying these things because he was tipsy. “Okay. You had your fun, so why don’t you get some sleep?”

His smile fell away. “No,” he muttered, pulling you into his lap in the blink of an eye and putting his face in your neck. “I’m fine right here.”

His lips against your skin had you shivering, and it wasn’t possible to break from his hold. Being this close felt like a dream, but he was tipsy and you had to be the responsible one. “Um… a little help?” you asked.

“Of course.” Thor stepped forward. “Allow me.”

You smiled at the God of Thunder. “Thanks, I…” You stopped when he draped a blanket over you and Bucky. Where did that even come from? “That wasn’t what I-”

“And some water,” he smiled as Bucky nuzzled your neck with a happy moan. You tried not to let that moan turn you on. You had to be good. “Men, let us take our leave.”

“Behave, jerk,” Steve said as Thor shuffled everyone from the room.

“Shut up, punk,” Bucky snarled, nuzzling you again. The lights dimmed, too. It was almost romantic. “Not you, pretty girl. You can say whatever you want.”

You had to laugh. Laughter was better than worrying about what would happen in the morning. “So, I’m your pretty girl?”

“Yep,” he said with a smile. “All mine.”

“Okay, Sarge,” you smiled sadly. “I’m your pretty girl.”

Relaxing in his hold, you could pretend until he was sober that you were.

Love and thanks for participating in Ficlet Friday! ❤️ And this one may be fun to continue.

[sinner-as-saint]

here forever

Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Run-through: Dating a superhero was no joke. And as noble as Bucky’s job was, it was just as dangerous and unpredictable. Which is why ever since you and Bucky started dating, he’d been training you in his free time. Teaching you how to defend yourself if ever he wasn’t around to protect you, or if ever his enemies came after you. Although you weren’t perfect at combat yet, you were almost certain you could get out of a tricky situation if you ever found yourself in one. But you were soon proven wrong. And your only option was to hope and pray that Bucky finds you in time. 

Themes: smut, fluff, mentions of kidnapping and death, boyfriend!bucky to the rescue, slight angst, hurt/comfort, mean!dom!bucky, aftercare, biker!bucky (except i made him wear a helmet because safety), mild daddy kink (nicknames only)

a/n: short, quick lil fic because I know we’re all hungry

It had been two hours since these strange men had so easily abducted you off the streets. 

It was a regular day, you were leaving yoga class and were on your way to pick up a smoothie. A treat you always got yourself after each workout class. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except Bucky’s incessant messages asking about your location. 

You knew you weren’t supposed to let your guard down, not even on busy streets – one of the first lessons Bucky taught you just weeks after your first date with him. But you couldn’t help looking down and frowning at your phone. Your bag, purse and phone in your hands. Always have your hands free when walking alone, even on busy streets – the second thing he taught you. 

Always be ready. Always be ready. Always be fucking ready. 

But you had messed up that morning. Bucky’s messages were starting to worry you. He had been away since last night, and as usual, never gave you too many details about his job. But all you knew was that before he left, he’d asked you to try and not go out if you could. Your apartment was safe. He had eyes all over that building. Cameras, security guards, it was the safest place you could be. 

‘Where are you? Why aren’t you home?’

Seconds later: 

‘I told you not to go out. It’s not safe right now. Call me.’ 

Then some missed calls which you couldn’t answer because you were in class at the time. Then messages one after the other: 

‘Go straight home.’ 

‘Is your class over?’ 

‘Go home and wait for me. Don’t open the door for anyone else.’ 

‘Baby I’m so serious right now, go home.’ 

And you were midway through typing an answer to reply to him. To tell him not to worry. To tell him that yes your class was over, and everything was okay and you would call him as soon as you got home. 

But you never got the chance to reply to his messages. 

It all happened too fast. One moment you were looking down, all your focus on your phone and boyfriend, and the next, you were being grabbed and shoved into a dark truck. You barely even got a scream out before the doors were shut and a tape sealed your mouth, ropes snaking around your wrists and ankles. 

And just like that, in less than a full minute, you were taken. 

And here you were now. 

In the back of that same truck which had been driving for about two hours, maybe more. Getting further and further away from the city you lived in, and into more and more unknown areas. 

Fuck! You had messed up. 

You should’ve checked your phone while you were still inside the building. You shouldn’t have been texting on the streets. You shouldn’t have let your guard down. Bucky had been saying for weeks that he suspected people had eyes on him, and consequently you because you two spent a lot of time together. 

He was right of course. He always was. You should’ve listened. You should’ve stayed at home, at least until he got back later today. 

A tear slid down your face, like it had been for the past hours. You silently cried, thinking about all the potential circumstances you could end up finding yourself in. You couldn’t even tell who were the men who kidnapped you because they all wore masks and hadn’t said a single word in the past hours. 

They were armed. And the truck seemed bulletproof. And they kept driving. Nothing said about wanting a ransom, nothing about why they had taken you, or whether they were using you as bait to get Bucky’s attention. Surely they were. 

And a few minutes later, when you heard the familiar roar of a familiar bike, you knew they had his full attention. 

Bucky was here. 

But they hadn’t noticed yet. And you didn’t want them to. So you tried to get all their attention on you by wiggling in the backseat, acting like you were trying to get more comfortable. The two armed men right in front of you just glanced at you and your tied limbs and let you be. 

You noticed the guy in the passenger seat didn’t even bother looking at you. The driver looked into the rearview mirror but quickly looked away and ahead. 

They still hadn’t heard the faint, steady roar of Bucky’s bike. 

Perfect. 

By the time Bucky would get close enough to attack, he would catch them by surprise. And it would be too late for them to react and defend themselves. 

So you kept moving, grunting in annoyance extra loudly just to mask the sound of Bucky’s bike as it got closer and closer– 

A loud gunshot exploded near you. For a moment nothing made sense. 

Then you realised the truck was no longer steady, it was tilted on one side. Bucky had shot one or more of the tires. You sighed in relief, while the men in the vehicle panicked. Muffled voices spoke all at once, one of them telling the driver to drive faster. 

Another, one of the men who was armed in front of you, lowered the window and popped his head and gun out, trying to find whoever was around but it was too late. 

You turned your head and managed to catch a glimpse of him through the rear windshield. Amongst the smoke and dirt flying, there he was. Mounted on his mean bike like a fierce general riding his beast into battle. Except this general wasn’t backed by soldiers. He was alone. 

But army or not, he was still Bucky Barnes. All black bike, black helmet, full biker gear, metal arm catching the sunlight. Guns strapped to his body. He looked like Death. 

A sob shook your body as you ducked and hid under the seats as much as you could as Bucky rain down bullets like hellfire upon the vehicle. He knew it was bulletproof, but you were certain he was doing it just to get the men to use their weapons and waste their bullets on him as fast as possible. 

The loud noises made it seem like your brain was vibrating, your heart was racing, and your ears were hurting with how loud the guns and shouts were. But Bucky was here, and all would be well now. 

A few seconds later, the truck began zig-zagging. You assumed it must be because the driver got shot. More shouts and bullets later, the truck came to a sudden stop. Like it collided with something that was strong enough to stop it even at that speed. 

But there was nothing on the empty streets you had been on. Nothing except… Bucky. 

An eerie silence followed. Then footsteps. The men in the truck had all been shot you realised upon smelling the scent of blood and gunpowder. 

You couldn’t get yourself up, not with your limbs still tied but you tried your best. And you were barely up when you heard the sound of metal literally tearing apart. You managed to peek from the back seat and Bucky had torn off one of the doors. The entire door off the side of the truck. 

You couldn’t call for him, but you kicked the back of one of the seats hard enough to get his attention. 

The moment his ocean blue eyes met your teary ones, you couldn’t help but start crying. Hot, burning tears streaming down your face as Bucky almost tore apart the entire truck to get to you. The moment he grabbed you and pulled you out into the open air, it was only his arm around you keeping you up. 

“I’ve got you,” He whispered over and over again, “You’re safe. I’ve got you, baby. It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here.” He repeated continuously as he carefully peeled the tape off your lips and cupped your face in his hands, looking at you intently to look for injuries while he wiped your tears away. “Are you hurt?” He asked, looking more panicked and worried than ever. “Baby, answer me. Did they hurt you? Inject you with anything? Touch you?” 

You shook your head, wanting nothing more than to just be able to take a deep breath, now safe in his arms. Only when you went to wrap your shaky arms around him, he stopped you. Keeping you at arms’ length and away from him. 

That worried, soft look in his eyes turned cold. Even under the afternoon sun, you shivered under his gaze. 

“What the fuck did I tell you before I left, huh?” He snarled. “I told you to stay inside, don’t leave the building. Didn’t I say that?” 

You sniffled, nodding. “I just went to my weekly class, and–,” 

He cut you off, hissing, “And look what happened!” He was almost screaming in your face, “You’re so lucky I got here in time. You’re so fucking lucky I have a tracker in that bag of yours. Otherwise it would’ve taken me days to get to you! Days!” 

You trembled, knowing he was right. Bucky dealt with dangerous people. He knew why he asked you to be cautious. 

Bucky leaned closer to you, looking down at you with no warmth. “These aren’t the villains you read about in your silly, little fucking books.” His voice sounded menacing, freezing. “These are actual, dangerous people. They wouldn’t have waited for you to charm your way out. They would’ve killed you!” He yelled. 

“I’m sorry,” You sobbed. “I was replying to your texts and–,” 

“We had a deal, didn’t we?” He grabbed you by the chin and forced you to look at him. “That when I tell you it’s not safe out there, you stay put. You stay inside and wait for me.” He growled. “You could’ve been killed today! And who would have had to live with that, huh? Who would’ve had to live with the disappointment that he couldn’t keep you safe? That he brought you into this shitty life and couldn’t even keep you alive?” He bellowed. “Who would’ve had to look your family in the eyes and tell them he lost you? Me! That’s who!” 

More tears, and a whimper escaped your lips. “I’m sorry.” You whispered. You had never seen this side of him. He let go of your face like it burned to touch you. 

He looked around, at the torn apart truck. At the bodies. The bullets on the ground. He grimaced but didn’t say anything. He reached into the truck and grabbed your things. Your bag and all that you had on you when you were taken. Your phone wasn’t here though, they must’ve thrown it out onto the streets while they took you. 

Bucky said, “We need to get out of here. Come.” 

He didn’t turn around to see if you were following, he knew you would. Once he got on his bike, he handed you his jacket and helmet. You put both on without questioning where you were going. 

Once sat behind him, your arms hesitantly around his torso, he turned to the side and said, “City’s not safe right now. We’ll spend the night at a motel nearby.” 

And that was all he said for the next few hours. 

– 

By the time you two made it to the motel – which was much, much more decent and clean than you had imagined – the sun was already setting. The place was quiet. A few voices conversing here and there, ACs humming as ACs do, cars coming in and out frequently given there was a gas station nearby, and a burger joint on the other side of the street. 

Bucky got you two a room for the night, and didn’t say a word to you as he grabbed your hand and led you to the room. 

It was a decent room. Bed, bedside tables, TV, sofas. The usual. 

You didn’t notice Bucky had packed a bag as well. You hadn’t been paying much attention anyway. He placed his much bigger bag on the bed and pulled out a few things. Some belonging to you, you noticed. Toothbrush, soaps, clean clothes. 

He handed a bunch of things to you and said, “Go shower.” He didn’t even look at you as he spoke. Guess he was still angry at you. 

You didn’t argue. You just took the things and rushed to the bathroom, locking yourself in there for a good half an hour. 

When you stepped out of the shower, feeling clean finally, you noticed Bucky wasn’t in the room. And the weather outside had changed. You could hear the faint thunder approaching. Surely by tonight there would be a storm. 

But where had Bucky gone? 

You put your clothes away in your bag, and with no phone you had no choice but to turn the TV on. You got in bed, a few minutes into watching some random documentary when Bucky walked in with food. 

You gave him a look, wondering if he would talk to you now. But all he said as he placed the bags filled with food on the bed was, “It’s none of your fancy green smoothies and healthy wraps, but it’ll have to do for now. I’m going to shower.” 

Then he disappeared. 

You were still upset, but then hunger took over and you pawed at the bags like a raccoon. You found milkshakes, fries, and burgers. And you ate while you wondered how long Bucky would keep being angry at you. 

You were halfway through your second burger when Bucky walked out of the shower. With nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His wet, dark hair pushed back, droplets of water still dripping down his chest and abs. 

You swallowed your food before you choked, then looked away, acting as if the documentary on the TV was much more interesting to look at compared to your half naked boyfriend. 

“Are you hurt anywhere?” He asked, and you noticed he was carrying a first-aid kit in his hands. 

You shook your head. 

“Nothing? No scratches, nothing?” He asked again. 

You shrugged, “Just a small cut. It’ll heal. Nothing serious.” 

He walked over to your side of the bed, and said, “Show me.” 

You didn’t want to argue so you placed your food aside, lifted your shirt and showed him the minuscule cut on your ribs. “It’s not–,” 

But he cut you off by placing the kit down and looking for some cotton and disinfectant. 

It burned as he cleaned in and put a little bandaid over it. It hurt even more when he didn’t kiss it after like he usually does whenever he tends to your cuts and wounds. 

You didn’t say a word though. And soon, you both finished your food in silence with only the TV and the approaching storm as noise in the background. 

The thunder got louder and louder as you both got into bed. That weird silent treatment continued, and by now you were annoyed as well. You’d admit, it was your fault for being so careless when he’d told you to be cautious. But didn’t he see that you needed him now? 

Couldn’t he see you wanted to be held? And kissed? And comforted? 

You frowned in the dark. The lights from outside came through the blinds and lit the room up a little bit. As did the lightning. You were the only one tossing and turning you noticed, Bucky was asleep it seemed. 

But the thunder, the new bed, the fear and stress from earlier, it was all keeping you from falling asleep. Plus, it was a little embarrassing to admit, but you liked being held while you fell asleep. But Bucky wasn’t even talking to you, and wrapping your own arms around yourself wasn’t working. 

Another hour went by. Now the heavy rain finally came, along with a proper thunder storm. And you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You turned to face Bucky and he had his eyes shut, facing you. Not a single item of clothing on his body, except for a thin sheet covering him from the waist down. You sighed, frowning a little in annoyance still but you couldn’t help but scoot closer to him, seeking his warmth and embrace. 

First you pressed into him, to see if he would stir or wake up. He didn’t. So you got bolder and took his metal arm and placed it around you, waiting again. He didn’t move. So you went to wrap your arms around him, and once you did, you heard his sleepy voice saying, “Oh, what’s this? Now you need me?” 

You froze, trying to see if you could pretend you were asleep already. He didn’t buy it. 

“I know you’re awake.” 

You sighed. “It’s the thunder.” You said, nuzzling his warm neck. 

“And you need daddy to protect you now, little bunny?” He mocked. “But when I try to tell you what to do to keep you safe you never listen.” 

You noticed he kept his arm around you, pulling you more into him even as he chided you. “I’m so sorry, Buck. It won’t happen again.” 

He hummed. “It better not.” 

You were quiet for a second or two, then said, “You were so mean to me earlier.” 

“I have to be.” He said sternly. “You never listen. You don’t take your training seriously, you think you’re ready to fight your way out, baby, but you’re not. All I asked you to do was not to leave that apartment until I got there. But you couldn’t help but be a brat, could you?” 

You squirmed in shame. “I don’t want you to be angry with me.” 

“Well,” He said, sounding sassy as he pulled you closer, “I am pissed. Deal with it.” 

You had had enough. You slipped out of his arms, “Stay here and brood then,” You tried to get out of bed, “I’ll sleep on one of the sofas–” 

Bucky didn’t let you. A loud thunder boomed right above as he pulled you back into bed and climbed on top of you. “Stop being fucking difficult.” He hissed. 

Before you could answer, his mouth was on yours. Beard scratching your face, his long hair tickling the sides of your face. 

His kiss was rough and it hurt in the best way. Bucky pulled away for a brief moment, squeezed your cheeks so you couldn’t close your mouth. “Brat.” Glaring down at you, he spat in your mouth before kissing you again. 

Your brain felt like it was floating. His kiss was hot. And messy. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” His voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, “Needy little brat. Can’t ever do as you’re told, can you? You almost got fucking killed today, but you don’t care about that. Do you? Huh?” 

You were quiet. Your brain was too foggy with lust to function. 

“Why are you quiet? No bratty words for daddy?” He asked, sliding his rough hands up and down your parted thighs. You spread them even more the moment he touched you and he smirked when he noticed it. “Go on, tell me to stop. Tell me to let you go.” He taunted, knowing full well you would never do that. 

All you did was whimper as he touched you mindlessly, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, spreading your wetness around. 

“You’re gonna listen from now on.” He stated. “I don’t care what it takes. I’ll lock you in that apartment if I have to. But from now on, if I tell you it’s not safe out there, you do not leave that house. You hear me, princess?” 

Silence. Which earned you a slap on the thigh. You yelped in pain before glaring at him. “Fine,” You said, “Yes, I hear you. I’ll be good.” You whined. 

“Of course you will,” He said, his metal hand pinned you down on the bed by wrapping around your neck to keep you in place, while his other hand wrapped around his cock. Pumping it once, twice while holding your stare. “‘Cause I’ll have you over my knee and spank that little butt raw if you don’t.” 

You whimpered and squirmed because of how badly you needed him inside you. “I will. I’ll be so good,” You begged, “Buck, please.” 

Bucky wasted no time sliding inside of you. Giving you no time to even think, he moved in and out of you in a way that had you moaning out loud, not caring that the walls might be thin. 

The storm got louder somehow, thunder rumbling and lightning lighting up the room every now and then. The rain got heavier, silencing the rest of the world as Bucky fucked you. His body weight pressing down onto you in a way that made you never want to be anywhere else. 

It didn’t matter that you were in a small motel room, so far away from home. It didn’t matter that danger could still be lurking around. Nothing mattered, not when he held your stare as he fucked you hard and fast, barely giving you time to breathe right. 

He leaned in again, whispering against the corner of your open mouth, “Look how you behave the moment you have some cock in you. Is that all my baby wanted? Daddy’s cock? Hmm? Is this why you’ve been pouting for the past few hours?” He chuckled, spreading your thighs even more, “I’ve been mean to you, haven’t I?” He cooed, fucking into you deeper somehow. “I’ve been so mean by telling you just where you messed up and how bad things could’ve gotten if I didn’t reach you in time. I’m so mean to you, aren’t I?” He mocked you, scoffing, “Is that why your pussy is strangling my cock, baby? Because daddy’s so mean to you, is he?”

You could feel your face getting hotter as your walls clenched around him over and over again, as he sped up and pounded into you. You felt all of him stretching you out, filling you up, moving rapidly in and out of you until he was all you could focus on. 

“Is this what you wanted, little bunny?” He whispered, pounding into you relentlessly as he bent down to bite your lower lip and tug on it. “Is this enough to make you behave from now on, baby?” 

You moaned at how perfect his warm body felt on top of yours, his weight pressing down on you. His stubble tickled your skin as he kissed your face and bit on your lip. Your legs trembled as his thrusts, relentless and unbearably good. The pressure around your lower body grew, familiar, tight and hot.

The storm, the streetlights, and every little bit of light allowed you to see how Bucky looked down at you as you tightened around his cock. He smirked, looking down to where his cock disappeared into you each time he thrust in. “I killed for you today.” He whispered, “I saved you, and this is what I get? Attitude? A bratty girl? Not even a thank you,” He scoffed, “Not even a ‘thank you for saving me daddy’, nothing.” The cold cruelty in his voice only made you clench around him harder. 

His hand squeezed your throat again, making you moan even louder. “Dirty little slut. Look at you, all cock drunk.” He scoffed, giving you yet another messy kiss. “Are you gonna be good from now on?” 

“Yes,” You whined, not recognising your voice because of how desperate you sounded. Then again, only he could make you sound this way. You whimpered, unable to say anything else because of how good he felt sliding in and out of you. 

Fuck, you needed this. So much. You whined again when his hand let go of your throat, fingers trailing down your squirming body until his metal fingers found your clit, toying with it while he pounded into you mercilessly. 

“Yeah?” He stared deep into your eyes as he spoke. “You’re gonna be my good girl and listen to me?” 

You nodded, tears streaming down your face again. The exhaustion from earlier, the day you had survived. It was all too much. “Please…” You whimpered, squirming and unable to hold back anymore. You needed to come so bad. Your thoughts were a mess. 

“Good girl.” 

And you couldn’t hold back anymore. You came undone all around him. Moaning, your back arching off the bed as you came hard around his cock, tightening around him even harder than earlier. 

Bucky kept pounding into you as your orgasm washed over you, your walls squeezing him violently. Your body trembling under him. “That’s it, babygirl. Come for daddy.” 

You could hear the untamed hunger in his deep, growly voice. He groaned until he came undone as well. You whined and whimpered as you felt him filling you up, his thrusts slowing down, his cum dripping down your inner thighs. 

—

You vaguely remember his cleaning the two of you. He let you rest for a minute, but then it seemed like he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. So he flipped you around, straddled you and began massaging your worn out body. 

He rubbed his rough hands all over your back, down your hips, and thighs. It was quiet for a while. Just the rain, the thunder, and the sound of Bucky breathing. 

Then you heard his gentle voice. “I can’t lose you. Not you.” He whispered, like he was saying it to himself, “Not you, baby.” 

Your heart throbbed and pinched.  

He leaned down and kissed the back of your neck, your shoulders, down your spine, all while massaging your body. “I don’t like being mean to you.” He kissed his way up again, nuzzling your ear and whispering, “Earlier today,” He spoke softly, “When I watched the tracker show me how fast you were getting further and further away, thinking about how they must’ve grabbed you. How easily, how quickly they took you, I–,” His voice cracked. 

You couldn’t help the tears anymore, “I’m sorry.” You tried to turn over and face him but he gently pushed you back down on the bed. 

“Shh,” He shut you up. “Just let me take care of you.” His hands touched you everywhere. Soft touches soothing the spots he’d grabbed harshly earlier. “You scared me, baby.” He kissed around the cut on your side. “For a moment I thought I’d never see you again.” 

“I’ll be good, I promise.” You sniffled, trying to look at him over your shoulder. “I’ll train harder, I’ll be better. I won’t let my guard down, ever.” 

He leaned in and kissed your lips gently. “You’re perfect.” He stated. “We’ll work on training you better. We’ll be okay. Don’t worry baby, I’ve got you. Always.” 

You gave him a teary smile and sheepishly said, “Thank you for saving me.” 

Bucky laughed softly, nuzzling your neck again, kissing your skin like he couldn’t get enough. “I would burn this entire world down if anyone tries to take you from me again.” 

You laid your head back down on the pillow, laughing softly. Thinking he was joking. 

He wasn’t.

[grugruel]

Your daddy know 'bout this?

(Don't be fooled, there's no daddy kink!)

Pairings: dbf!cowboy!bucky x f!reader

MDNI/NSFW

Masterlist

Summary: A few days short of your 21st birthday, you decide to celebrate with your friend at the local bar. Unbeknownst to you, a close friend of your dad's is there.

When he sees you with beer in hand and in the lap of another man, things get heated. Somehow, you end up in his shirt, at his house.

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: pinv sex, passionate sex, forbidden realationship, violence, blood, underaged drinking, slight angst, cum eating, I love yous', mentions of masturation, tension, arguments, slight jealousy and protectiveness, pet names (girl, woman, ma'am, princess, sweetheart)

AN: not yet proofread, might be rough around the edges! Enjoy girlies🥹🫶

It was his one free night in a long time, and his buds pulled him along for a drink. He had no real objections, for he was in a good mood and it'd get even better once he had a drink in him.

The group of men emerged from the damp, rainy night and dove into the smoke tainted air and usual bustle of the local dive. They ordered their drinks and made their way to the back where the booths were, a jumble of familiar faces greeting them on their way. Until-

Bucky saw a face he ought not to see in a place like this. "Excuse me a moment, fellas. I got somethin' to take care of."

Their group turned to him, confused. "Wha-" and looked in the direction he was already headed. "Well shit, good thing her daddy ain't come with us." The group shared a few nervous glances, then shrugged and chuckled. "Wouldn't want to be one of those boys right now."

-

"Well . . . " a voice chuckled loudly.

She could see the source approaching their table from her peripheral, his form vaguely illuminated by soft lamp light through the gloom. " . . . Aint this a sight?"

She knew that voice, she could hear the telltale grin that shaped it.

Catching onto the change in energy, the giggles and boisterous laughter of their small group died down. Tense glances exchanged between them, all eventually landing on the intruder, all except her own.

Commotion continued sounding around them, their table the only to emit an unusually low amount of noise. "Anyone wanna tell me whats goin' on here?" The voice asked.

Swallowing, she realised she'd been intently staring into a cadleflame. She belived that maybe she'd have a chance at going unnoticed if she sat still enough.

"I asked you a question, doll."

She winced. That was his nickname for her. Fuck. She tore her gaze from the candle, snapping it to her friend across the table and gave her a sidelong glance that meant 'trouble' to which her friend nodded in agreement.

The low light that made the place cosy just moments before now only existed to muddle her thoughts. But, it could work in her favour. She carefully pushed her drink behind her elbow, hoping it wasn't too late to hide, and her friend followed her lead.

She turned toward the man, a cheap grin plaster on her face. "Hey . . . Buck," she spoke slowly, as if it'd somehow make him more agreeable.

"Hey there, princess," he grinned. Hat on his head. "Wanna explain this to me?" Pointing lazily to their gathering.

She shrugged, attempting to act nonchalant. Because admitting your wrong would confirm it's wrong. "Nothin special, we were just leavin', in fact."

A scoff blew past her ear. "The hell we are." The lap she sat on stiffened beneath her, tapping his feet–once, twice–in a show of impatience, and rocking her body in the process. The man then whispered in her ear. "Who is this guy anyway?"

She inclined her head, nervous eyes avoiding the big cowboy that stood imposing at the end of their table, and murmured a quiet reply over her shoulder. "No one. . . in particular." A lie, of course. "Let's just go."

The cowboy chuckled. "You're not leavin' with him, you're leavin' with me." That drawl could make the most steeled stumaches jittery with butterflies. Her friend must've felt it too by they way she squirmed in her seat.

She had to screw her eyes shut in a moment of contemplation. Why'd he have to be here tonight? Why'd they have to go to a bar he frequented?

She looked back at her friend with panic in her eyes. Boy, were they in for it. She could think of nothing else then to simply ask nicely, hoping it'd appeal. "Please, just go."

He smirked, putting a hand on his hips and showing a stern but playful disposition. "Your daddy know 'bout this?" He tipped his hat in their direction.

She pinned him with her eyes, narrowing them with independent annoyance. "Im my own woman, B-"

'What's it to you?' The guy beneath cut her off.

Bucky switched his attention to the guy, and she could feel him shrink a little under Bucky's gaze. "Hell, no need for that tone! I was just sittin' with my buds over there." He pointed to the group of men Buck came with, no doubt to put some pressure on the poor guy. From the looks of it, they'd been listening in on our conversation, and now waved to her, idly laughing at the situation, ready to jump in at any moment.

She shyly waved back, a tight smile on her lips.

"See, I just saw your little group havin' a grand ol' time over here and wanted to join you," Bucky laughed. "And when I noticed that fine woman in your lap, I thought I'd have a chat with her." He disguised it well, but she could hear the anger beneath his humoured exterior.

"You two know each other?" The guy asked, I'll at ease.

"Well enough." Bucky took a moment to look her over, a scan for any harm. But his eyes stuck on the short skirt and thin shirt. If possible, he looked even more bothered. "Wouldn't you say, sweetheart?" He glanced at her, and she could see the danger that lurked in his eyes. It began to dawn on her more and more how knee deep in trouble she was.

She cleared her throat, a nervous blush creeping up her cheeks. "Mhm," she hummed. It felt like he could see through her.

The guy's hand slunk to the bare skin of her thigh, attempting to mark his territory when seamingly he'd decided his dislike of the situation. "Huh, what's with the hat anyway, you some kind of sheriff?" He asked. But cut Bucky off as he was about to answer. "Either way," he waved his hand dismissively. "She's fine where she is. She can make her own decisions." And just like that, he'd successfully stolen the point she'd been trying to make.

She shook her head. Stupid, stupid boy.

Bucky's face hardened, any sign of humour gone from him. "I assure you, I dont need a sheriff's badge to take her home, It's within my right." He braced his hand against the table, leaning closer to them.

Her uterus roiled at that. 'take her home'

"Now, get that hand off of her, boy." He snarled, annoyance and authority resounding in his voice, promising a solution to the mans cocky demeanor. "She ain't yours to touch."

"Why?" The guy asked. "She yours?" His hand slid higher, squeezing her thigh, challenging the much broader man.

She exhaled, releasing a frustrated hum in early defeat, he'd doomed them both.

The cowboys jaw tensed. Silently, but undoubtedly steaming, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and pushed them above his elbows. The veins on his forearms pop from strain, knuckles turning white from his fists clenching. "Fella. . ." He began, calming his composure, then pointed two loose fingers at the girl in the mans lap. "Had she been mine, you'd be on the floor already. Now, that girl, ain't of drinkin' age, neither is she to be touched by a slimy bastard like yourself."

Fuck, so he did see the drink. She shook her head again, warning him. "Bucky. . ." A very bad attempt at dissuading him from doing whatever he was about to do. She could almosy feel the guy beneath her sink into the booth they were sitting in. Perhaps he had some sense after all.

Her friend grabbed her arm, loosely yanking on it as her anxious eyes flickered between the men in conflict. She herself sitting in the lap of the guy's friend, who was preparing to step in if necessary. "We should go before this gets ugly," her friend whispered.

"Respectfully, ma'am, she ain't going nowhere without me." The cowboy opposed, directing his attention to her friend.

No, no, no no. . . Dread filled her, he'd drive her straight home to her parents.

Bucky's eyes fell back on the guy, now shrunken and small under his gaze. "So. . . Stand up, 'n leave, boy," he spoke with the authority of a sheriff but stood with the confidence of an outlaw. "There's no need for altercations, I was enjoyin' my night. N' I don't wish that to change-"

"I'll call on the bouncer," the guy shot out, his face probably as pale as his overly white and fragile shirt, pointing to a man behind the cowboy. Her eyes followed the steps down from the seating area, and through the dimly lit dive where a big man stood posted by the door. The guy beneath her then glanced at his friend across from them, both extending curt nods to one another.

She wanted to wretch, he was acting a coward and standing up to Bucky with the threat of enlisting two other men to his side. She sighed loudly, making a point for him to hear as she eyed her friend. "Well, I sure know how to pick em'." And her friend, inspite of the commotion they found themselves in, covered her mouth in snicker.

Bucky narrowed his eyes in a second of silent fury, then answered with a laugh, not missing a beat. "You mean that bouncer?" He asked and turned around, calling a greeting to the bouncer, who in turn tipped his hat with a smile. The type of gesture that indicated a longstanding friendship. "We're well aquainted," Bucky grinned. "But im sure he'd love to sort this situation out."

If they had any sense at all, the two men would leave with what little dignity they had left and realise that they were already outnumbered inspite of being 2 to 2.

"Leave, girls," the guy easily dismissed them.

She gave him a pointed look, flashed her eyebrows, and jerked her head to the side in a 'you had it coming' motion, and then grabbed her friend's hand.

"Asshole," she sighed and steered them out of the booth, taking the cider in her other hand. Silly as she was, she thought she could simply leave, perhaps just slip by Bucky. But no, his strong hand grabbed her bicep as she passed by, and set his blues deep into her own. "Wait by the truck, I'll drive ya' home." He said, looking between the two girls.

"Fine . . . " She sighed.

"N' dont even think of running, cause I'll catch ya'," he warned, and she rolled her eyes inspite of the burning that settled in her core.

She tried to yank herself free, but he didn't let go. "What? You wanna hear a 'yes sir'?" She dared the words, teasing, as nervousity built in her gut.

His eyes searched hers, a slow grin spreading over his lips as he leaned closer, bending down to whisper in hear ear. "Dont get cocky with me, girl." And his hand began sliding downward, making her shiver, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch.

She swallowed, that tone, the hat? God. Her uterus purred, and in a sudden surge on confidence, she answered. "No, sir."

He grabbed the glass bottle from her hand and grinned, taking a sip. "Good, girl. Now go." And pointed to the door.

Would it be wrong to say she started salivating? His words, together with his lips making contact with the same surface she had? There was something about it, something that made her . . . Pulse.

Bucky whistled and his friend–the bouncer–came bounding up the steps, him along with the group of dad's and bucky's friends only a few steps behind.

The bouncer tipped his hat to her and her friend in passing, a smirk on his lips. Nice to know there was still some gentlemen in the world.

She smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He was quite handsome too.

"Dont even think 'bout it," Bucky warned.

She rolled her eyes, and then they were finally on their way out, meeting Bucky's group of friends on the way, all nodding and greeting her. "Tell your daddy we missed him tonight." One said, and they all chuckled.

The girls hurried off, giggling. But anxiety lingered in the depths of her chest. Those men were rogue witnesses in all of this.

As she held the door open, voices raised behind them. She could see the crowd turning to look in Buckys direction, anf she herself followed their gazes. And found them just in time to see Bucky's knuckles collide with the jaw of the guy she'd spent her night on, sending him sprawling.

-

Plunging into the deep night, the cold swept over them. "He's hot, ain't he?"

She didn't want to answer, or simply didn't want to admit it and just gave her friend a look of understanding.

"God, I was ready to pounce on him the second he called me ma'am."

The girl understood that too.

-

After about ten minutes wait, Bucky emerged from the bar. Unscathed, apart form bloody knuckles and dark cloud around his head. Before even saying a thing, he'd already removed his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I only got one of them. Apologies, ma'am," he told her friend and opened the truck door for them both. "The truck'll warm you up."

"Thats ok, thank you," her friend answered, and the girls shared a knowing look. Their thoughts connecting in fiendish collectivity.

"Alright, get in. We'd better get goin'."

-

The ride was relatively quiet. We knew better than to anger him further. Anxiety was growing within her, though, she didnt wanna know what would happen when her friend was let off.

"Text me ok? I'll se ya' later." Her friend said, eyeing Bucky. She leaned her head through the open window of the truck. "But- let me know how that goes," she whispered. "And good luck." She raised her eyebrows with a smirk on her lips.

The girl rolled her yes. "Sure will." And with one last wave, they were off.

-

When there were only the two of them, they could say whatever they wanted with confidence. But so far, there'd only been a few sighs and breaths of shared irritation. Neither of them were particularly pleased with the situation.

But she wanted to be the first to speak. "I'll be 21 in a few days, Buck."

"Doesn't mean you have good judgement."

She bristled. "I'm not a little girl anymore!"

" 'Course not, I can tell by the way you dress. That what a grown woman look like to you?" He nodded to her body, barely covered apart from his thick jacket over her torso.

She pulled it closer around herself. "Like what exactly? What do I look like to you? A slut, a hooker?" Her face stung from embaressment. She felt like a child again, being berated for something she wasn't able to puzzle together by herself.

He clicked his tongue, jerking his head to the side. His patience was running thin. "Dont twist my words, doll. I'm callin you careless."

"That dont matter comin' from you, you're not my daddy." She knew the comment would get a rise out of him, because she knew he'd ment no ill intent, and she knew he cared for her. But she was mad, and so was he.

"No, n' you should thank fucking god he wasn't there to bust you. I was the better option, I can promise you that."

She exhaled a frustrated breath, turning her attention toward the windshield. Watching droplets of water paving their way over the condensation covered glass. "You weren't the only one to bust me, though, were you?" She spoke lowly, feeling like a coward for even asking. "The boys gonna say something?"

He gripped the steering wheel harder, his roughed up knuckles tearing. "I told em' I'd take care of it." It must've stung, but he took no notice. Other things pestered his mind.

Worry mixed in with all other emotions as her gaze drifted to his hands, and her mind immidetly moved into recovery mode. "So what's that mean, you gonna tattle on me now?"

He looked over at her, brows furrowed right beneath the rim of his hat. He couldnt begin to understand her. "That all you care about?"

"Right now? Well, yeah. I dont want a scolding."

"All grown and still daddy's little girl, worried about his opinions."

"And if I say yes, what then, girl?

"I dunno, m' gonna have to convince you not to."

"Like you convinced that guy to buy you beer, huh? What'd you do, flirt with him? Give him a handjob, suck him off? What did I miss before catching you?"

Her mouth hung open in disbelief. "You fucking asshole!" She shook from anger, she never expected words like that to be thrown at her. Especially not by him. But she'd get him back, there was no reason behind her actions now. "Maybe I would've, I even bet it would've worked if I'd asked you. Right? You would've just loved having your friends pretty daughter gettin' you off, huh!" She half shouted the last sentence, her chest heaving with effort and fury.

"That's enough." His tone was unforgiving, shooting a sense of reality back into her.

"I'll shut up if you answer the god damned question Buck, would it have worked?"

But Bucky didn't answer, his jaw clenched and unclenched, biting back his words. If she thought the silence had been bad before? It was deafening now.

After calming down again, her words hit her like a freight train. She always had a friend in Buck, but now she wasn't sure. The words that'd been thrown back and forth had set them off balance, their entire relationship was on unsteady ground. Something had been rewritten in the rules between them.

There'd always been attraction, but that wasn't something they ever spoke of. They'd always been close, good friends even. But now, something had changed. And it made her feel sick. She'd had an ally in him, but now, she wasn't so certain.

After a long whole of shutting her mouth out of stubbornness, the fate of her father finding out was worse, so she broke. "Please don't bring me home, Buck. Dad'll throw a fit." She tried to smile, to soften her voice. But it felt wrong.

After a moments uncertainty on her part, and strained breathing on his, he spoke. "Im not makin' the detour, you can sleep at mine, that was always the plan anyway." He admitted, sounding utterly tired.

And now she felt extremely guilty, eyes studying him as he gripped the steering wheel harder. Her gaze drifted over his body, his face, his hands. Stopping on the roughed up and bloody knuckles. He'd beaten that guy for her. Out of jealousy, or simply because he was protective?

She turned away, her chest feeling hollow and followed the birches and sprucetress as they flashed by the truck. Their colors and textures blending together as they met the dark consistent sky above them.

Bucky's house was dark, he only lit a few tablelamps when they arrived. It was better that way, she recognized herself here, within the gloom and the safety of his home. It was second to her own.

"I'll get your something more comfortable," he said, his eyes avoiding her clothes, her body as a whole and disappeared into his bedroom.

Was it because he thought they didn't fit her, or the opposite? Had he been mad at himself for being attracted to her?

She nodded slowly, calling out to him, "we should do something about that hand of yours."

"It's fine, I'm fine." He said, re-emerging, meeting her eyes. "Here," he handed here a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, most likely too big for her. "I'll take the couch, n' you can take my bed."

She nodded again, and headed into the bathroom.

Buckys t-shirt was longer on her than the skirt she'd worn, so she opted out of the shorts. Luckily findig a roll of gauze in the bathroom cabinet.

She emerged from the bathroom, a pair of panties and the oversized t-shirt the only things on her body. "You want something to-" Bucky paused as she rounded the corner, and suddenly she herself stopped short–caught off guard.

Bucky stared at her, and whatever he'd been about to say was lost the second he looked up. Bucky cleared his throat, and with the weight of a 15 year long friendship on his shoulders, his eyes stayed glued to hers.

Inwardly, she smiled and hoped the lowly lit livingroom couldn't reveal the blush on her cheeks. "Found some gauze," she held the roll up, indirectly asking for permission to bandage him.

He opened his mouth to decline, she could even see his head begin to shake in dismissal.

But she cut in before he had the chance. "Just let me help, you can be mad and still let me help."

His eyes hardened, but hesitantly, he nodded all the same. "Im fine, doll."

She raised her brows with skepticism and made her way toward him, the fabric of buckys shirt doing its best at showcasing her breats.

Bucky clenched his fist in an attempt to control himself, he winced, the wounds on his knuckles re-opening.

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Sure seems fine to me." And placed herself infront of him. From his position on the couch, he had to look up at her. At that, a flicker of heat blazed in her core. Oh, those eyes. His big, pleading eyes, all sad and hurt. Did he want her gone or want her in some other way?

She kneeled, settling between his thighs and grabbed his hand. "You don't got to be so stubborn all the time. . . Just wanna help you." She wrapped his hand carefully, enjoying every second of his corse skin over hers. Once done, he tried flexing his hand, and winced again. He still hurt, that much was clear, but was too proud to admit it. "Want me to kiss it better?" She joked, hoping it would lighten the mood. But he did that thing again, where he said nothing, and instead clenched his jaw, as if holding back a yes. So she took her chance.

Keeping their eyes locked, she brought his wrapped knuckles to her lips, and kissed them through the bandage once, then moving further up to kiss the softer skin of the back of his hand. Again, his eyes were pleading, and he moved the hand to cup her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. She took it as encouragement and kissed his palm, his wrist, his forearm. She stood up on her knees, kissing his bicep and reached for his shirt to pull him closer. She cupped his face and brought him inches from her own, nuzzling her nose against his.

Finally, when her lips reached for his, he pulled away. "Stop, stop," he nudged his forehead against hers. "We can't," he moved his lips away, cheek to cheek, he kissed the soft spot in front of her ear. "We can't."

"Cant, or wont?" She asked dully.

Those pleading eyes were back, begging her not to make him answer that question. She nodded absentmindedly, pulled into her thoughts. She stood up and moved away from him, his hand sliding down her arm and locking around her wrist, stopping her. "Dont leave."

"I'm comin' back."

After a few minutes of bustling in the kitchen, she returned to him. Sidling up next to him on the couch, her curled up legs lulling into his lap as she handed him a whiskey glass, then cradled her own. He whispered a thank you, looking into her eyes, and she whispered a you're welcome, looking into his. Then they sat like that for a while, quiet, unmoving. Bucky's hands finding their home on her legs, glas in one hand and her knee in the other. Somehow, this wasn't crossing a line for them, this was their normal, this was something not even her family questioned, this was them.

"Im sorry, doll." he said finally. "I never meant to imply-"

"It's ok, Buck." He opened his mouth to speak again, but she stopped him. "Really, It's fine. I'd rather not dwell on it."

Another moments silence passed between them, it was uncomfortable, but the unsaid lingered in the air like a thick wall between them, and hung over them with the threat of smothering. "We need to talk about us."

"I didn't like the way he was touchin' you," he said, choosing the topic before she had a chance at it. If he had to approach them, he would do it indirectly. "It didn't look like you were enjoyin' it."

Her eyebrows raised, "You would've punched him even if I were enjoying it." She commented sourley.

He squeezed her knee, gently rubbing circles into the skin beside. "He acted like he owned you," He turned his unscathed hand upside down, brushing his knuckles up and down her sensitive skin.

It all went straight to her head, veins throbbed with heat she didn't know she could feel. All brought out by a single touch of his hand.

But she wouldn't let off. "And what do you 'spouse beating him for it is?"

He stayed silent, his hand turned again, this time to grab her soft flesh, squeezing it with purpose. Much like the guy had done, but this felt different. This felt good, real good.

She swallowed, closing her eyes to focus on the words she needed to say. "What made you think you had the right? If not that I already belonged to–" she stopped, and their eyes met in a quick glance.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "I was only protectin' you." He defended, but it didn't quite sound like he believed the words himself. Nor did she. But if he wasn't ready to see it as it was, she wouldn't pressure him.

Instead, she laid her head on his shoulder. "It shouldn't be this hard."

He shook his head, the words seemingly struck a cord within him. For he sat insilence, pondering, a long while. "I would've said no, you know. And it would've killed me." She looked at him strangely, forgetting what he was referring to for a moment. "I would've said yes, if you hadn't felt forced to it, like it was a last resort to keep your secret."

Oh. . . "Had I wanted it, you'd said yes?" She stared unbelieving into the dark space infront of them.

"Nothin' could stand in my way." He slid his hand further up her thigh, fingers exploring the skin just beneath the hem of his/her shirt.

She sat up straight to look at him properly, she couldn't tell if he was serious. "You want me?"

"More than anything," his voice was breathless, barely a whisper. His index and long finger reaching further up, exploring more than he'd ever dared. "Cant even explain how many times I imagined you gettin' me off after you said it. How much I hated the thought, the sight of you with that guy, his hands all on you."

A pang of need shot through her. She put her whiskey down, and braced her hands against his chest. "But why tell me now, whats changed? Whats changed in this last hour?" His fingers rubbed the skin of her hips beneath her panties, sending shivers running over her body, shivers she'd only previously dreamed he'd be the cause of.

"You're right, it shouldn't be this hard. I'm makin' it too hard." His hand slid to her waist, still invisible to him, but no longer untouchable. Magnetically, they were pulled together, faces inching closer and closer to oneanother.

"And what about daddy?" It was becoming hard to focus, she wouldn't stop him for the world. Bow, they were close enough to feel the dampness of their breaths.

His hand continued exploring farthur up, fingertips finally reaching the soft, plush flesh below her breast. "Your daddy ain't here, is he?"

She began shaking her head in disbelief, lips brushing against eachother. "Dont promise something if you can't follow through."

His hand stopped, "I can, please," he begged, waiting for her go-ahead. "I can. . ."

His words vibrated against her skin, electrifying her body. "Fuck," she moaned, he's right there. Right, there, infront of her, for her. "Then do, please do, Buck."

And just like that, both hands were beneath her shirt, pulling her into his lips and squeezing her breasts.

Breathless moans filled the silent air, they tore at eachother greedily. Pulling and pushing eachothers bodies, fighting to get Bucky free of his clothes.

Snaking one arm behind her back, he guided her down onto cushions and placed himself above her. Still clothed by jeans, he rolled his hips against her core, grinding the rough fabric against her barely clothed clit. This, is what she had been craving. The exact static friction, the heat and movement between their bodies producing all the pleasure she needed. She moaned heavily, beacause still, she wanted more. Pulling her legs up and her panties off, she wordlessly signaled for him to do the rest.

With a groan, Bucky dove into her neck, kissing and sucking, all the while he unzipped his jeans and pulled them off together with his boxers. No time was wasted, he lined his member up with her core within a second, prodding and teasing at the opening. "Please, please, please." She sounded desperate, but fuck, she was. And feeling it was worse then sounding it.

"Yes ma'am." He said, and thrusted into her. A gasp escaped them in unisome. With the arm still around her waist, he pulled her into his hips, his body straining as he delved deeper inside her than she thought possible.

"Yes. . ." She whined. "More."

He kissed his way up her throat, their hips freed and collided into eachother with steady, strong thrusts, pushing her deeper into the cushions with every rut. Nothing could compare, he was unparalleled. Bucky, despite what he was already achieving, kissed his way up her neck, unfaltering in his duty.

Her hands found his face, cupping it and bringing him back to her, and their lips met again. "Taste so sweet," he murmured, sinking his tongue into her. The salt of her skin mixing with her saliva. "Want all of you."

She smiled against him. "Harder."

He did as ordered, keeping his pace and adding pressure. "Yeah," he moaned. "Being so good for me, girl." And pulled her deeper onto his member. Her breaths grew rapid and shallow, fingers clawing at his back as she had nowhere to go, all pleasure directed straight into her. "Close, so fucking close," she cried.

"Good," he chuckled breathely against her skin, and that was a she needed. Her back arched in euphoria, and stars stung her eyelids, speckling the darkness. "Good job, sweetheart. Just breathe," he continued thrusting into her, softly, easing her through the orgasm. "Good girl. Well done. . ." He whispered, kissing her jaw. The stars began fading and she regained her senses, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Beautiful, girl." He moaned, still rutting into her, chasing his own high while wiping the tears from her face. Her body began tingling, on the vege of breaking down.

"Dont know how much more I can take, Buck." She kissed his cheek, focusing on the skill of his lips.

"Almost there, almost. . ." he moaned, increasing his pace. The slickness of her core created a sickening sound together with the slapping of their skin. It was heavenly, but she could feel the pressure building within her again.

"Mmmh, m' gonna cum again, please buck, dont stop."

He didn't, he continued, intent on coming together with her. He bit into her lip, causing her to yelp and yield the hold on his face and licked a trail down her chest and breast, then taking it into his mouth. Sucking and slurping in an insane rythm with the slapping. "Yes, yes! Fuck, Bucky." she called out, and Bucky pulled out of her.

Coming only a second after, his seed spilling over her abdomen. "I love you, I love you." He moaned with faltering breaths, bracing himself on his forearms on either side of her, kissing every part of skin that he could reach.

Holy shit? "I love you too." She smiled lazily, drunk off of her two consequent orgasms. Laying her hand on her stumache, she felt his sticky substance coat her fingers.

His eyebrows knit together in guilt. "Sorry 'bout that sweetheart, I'll get a towel-"

She grabbed his bicep and shook her head, locking her eyes onto his as she brought the fingers to her lips and licked them off, popping them in her mouth to suck them clean.

Bucky stared, unable to form words.

"Cat got your tongue, cowboy?" She asked, a coy smile on her glistenting lips.

"Fuck," he awed breathlessly. "I just love you." He whispered, lowering himself onto her once again, this time striking his tongue into her core.

-

[call-me-doll-face]

YEARNING

Warnings: all of them. Smut, angst, unedited. I worked this on a whim so I'm sorry if there are mistakes!

To say today had been busy would be a massive understatement. Almost to the point that it's laughable.

The little subway i worked at, while normally not a hard job, had been dreadful. I'd had to stay an hour past closing just to catch up and get everything done.

By the time I reach the door to my little apartment, my feet are dragging. Stepping in I mindlessly throw my keys onto the accent table right inside the door; watching as they almost knock over the pile of neatly stacked mail.

Next I move into my tiny kitchen, grabbing my favorite glass and filling it with water, gulping it down in two very unlady like chugs.

Looking around I wonder where my little feline friend is before shrugging it off, knowing she'll come find me when she's ready to.

Moving to go around the island I have a one track mind.

Bed,bed,bed.

So focused on finally getting some rest after pulling a double I don't notice the eyes watching me. Don't notice the figure moving from out of the shadows in the corner of the room. Until it's too late.

Before i can even realize what's going on a strong hand is gripping the nape of my neck in a tight grip, bending me over the island and pinning me to the countertop.

"Oh, what the fuck!" I cry out, more frustrated and angry than scared. All I wanted was to fucking sleep.

"What was your first mistake?" The deep sultry voice asks mischievously. My heart skips a beat at the sound of it. of who it belongs to.

"B-Bucky?" I sputter out in shock, trying to wiggle free so i can turn to see his face, to know he's really here and i'm not going crazy.

He just tsks at me, clicking his tongue as he runs a big palm slowly up my outer thigh then up to the curve of my ass. "I said-" I gasp as he slowly runs his tongue up my neck before closing his teeth over my ear in a gentle nip. "what. was your first. mistake?" That hand squeezes my ass. A warning.

"Jesus, buck! I'm too tired to play these games! let go of me!" A loud smack sound in the room as his palm lands harshly on my ass, right cheek stinging from the strike.

"I won't ask again doll. Do you think hydra would be so patient? hmm?" His voice deepens, words rolling smoothly off that wicked tongue. Despite the warning my body shivers with pleasure, remembering just how capable that tongue could be....

When I don't answer another smack lands on the opposite cheek, this time with enough force to jolt me forward. "Fuck! Wait,wait wait, I don't-" grunting in disapproval I feel his hand lifting again and cry out desperately. "Th-the table in the entry!"

Giving me a pleased hum he gently lowers his hand back down and caresses the skin there, moving up to give my hip a gentle squeeze.

"What about it, pretty girl?" He asks, pressing a soft open mouthed kiss to the back of my neck.

Within seconds he has me whimpering or him, wanting to please him. I should be angry. Should be screaming and yelling at him for the way he just left me. Middle of the night with no explanation, leaving me to wake up alone and to not hear from him for months. Then to have the audacity to waltz (or break) back in and ask ME what my mistake was. The balls. But fuck me if I don't have the strength to hold out on him.

"It was organized. I never organize, Never have time." My stomach flutters at his sound of approval. Kicking my legs apart with his foot he doesn't hesitate to wedge his big thigh there when they spread, pulling another whimper from me.

"What else doll?" Doll.... he used to call me that all the time... when we first met id thought it was only because he was being a gentleman, but after a while id picked up on the fact that i was the only one he'd used the term with.

"The water cup. It was in the cupboard. Usually I leave it on the corner of the sink for when i get home."

"mmm, Good girl." Bucky basically purrs, thumbs hooking into the waistband of my leggings, pulling them and my panties over my ass and down my legs all at once.

Becoming self conscious i try to wiggle free once again, try to stand up straight but buck is quick to pin me down again. With a hand flat against my lower back, he slide down to kneel behind me and my cheeks burn red with embarrassment as he eyes me hungrily. My thighs clench on their own accord and he's quick to slide his hands down and spread me open, breathing deeply.

"Such a pretty pussy. Smell so good doll, God I missed you. So fuckin perfect." The words are a rumble and my breath catches when i feel the heat of them against my sensitive skin.

"Buck..." I don't know why his name leaves my mouth; Don't know why it sounds like a plead, but he takes it willingly.

A sharp cry leaves my lips as the flat of his tongue licks a wet strip up my center, all the way to my leaking hold. He doesn't hesitate to devour me; tongue spearing into me as his fingers clench my ass, using his hold on them to pull me back on to his face.

It's not long before he has me coming apart at the seams, rocking back onto him as i grip onto the countertop. He eats and drinks from me like a man starved and I'm his last meal, slurping and groaning obscenely.

"Fuuuuuck, fuck,fuck,fuck!" I cry out desperately as the coil in my belly tightens into an almost overwhelming point. He groans against he happily, sending vibrations straight to my core.

I cry out in frustration when he pulls away from me completely, only to flip me onto my back. My eyes widen at the shock of finally being able to see his face after so long.

His beautiful hair that had touched the tops of his shoulders had been cut short, looking just long enough to run my fingers through and grip. Those beautiful blue eyes, my favorite blue yes in the whole world, had grown colder; harder. There were more lines on his face, looking like he'd aged years...

But under all that is still my Bucky. Still the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. A man that I would willingly give my life for, almost HAD given my life for.

The man was staring at me like he was the devil himself, smiling with a look of pure sin on his face. And if he was the devil, well I'm going to be damned.

"You want these?" the question is teasing, playfulness behind those big blues as he runs cold metal fingers featherlight down my stomach. I nod eagerly, lifting my hips in expectation causing him to chuckle. "so, so desperate."

Too impatient to tease any more he pushes two fingers into my wet heat, instantly curling them to reach that one spot that only he could reach. A cry leaves my lips and throwing my head back I reach under my shirt to push my bra up.

"That's it doll. Play with those fucking perfect tits. Gonna make you cum on my tongue, then I'm going to fuck that pretty pussy." God, the mouth on that man. Who would have thought that the stoic, moody James Buchanan Barnes would have such a dirty side. Not that I"m complaining.

His fingers and words very quickly work me back up to my peak again and his free hand grabs onto my hip to steady me, ground me.

Reaching down I grab onto his wrist; nothing but the sound of my cries, the obscene sounds of my wetness, and his praises filling the room.

"Come. Come now." He commands right before lowering and swirling that deadly tongue in tight circles around my clit. That does it for me, sends me over the edge and falling.

Blue eyes eaten up by black watch me as My back arches, toes curl, and a scream leaves my lips. My vision goes white and my body clenches as the best orgasmn ive ever had tilts my world on its axis. Metal fingers keep hitting that spot, keep working me through it until I finally come back down, body relaxing and tired.

When my eyes open and meet his, I'm surprised to see tears gathered on his lash line, just barely keeping from falling. The sight takes my breath away... so pretty...

"Buck?..." I whisper, gut swirling with uncertainty.

Did i do something wrong?

"Need you." Before the words are even all the way out we are reaching for each other, hands ripping off the others clothes as fast as possible.

Within seconds we are both bare, his cock standing hard and flushes red in desperation. Gripping it tightly, he strokes his a few times before notching it at my opening and thrusting in to the hilt.

We both cry out at the feeling of finally being connected again. Tears prick my own eyes at the stretch that always came with being with bucky, No amount of preparation had ever been enough to ease the burn from his sheer size.

My hands grip onto his shoulders as his arms wrap around me, pulling me up and flush against him so that my ass is just barley resting on the edge. Leaning his forehead against mine and letting out a shaky breath he finally opens his eyes to look at me; silently asking permission to move.

Leaning forward i finally press my lips to his, whining into his mouth as i roll against him, marvelling at the delicious slide of him against my walls.

His tongue parts my lips and slides against mine effortlessly as he starts to move, pulling out to slowly push back in, each time going deeper and deeper.

I dont know when it turned in to this, but its overwhelming, my heart feeling like its swelling with emotion and about to shatter at the same time. We Cling to each other as his thrusts pick up speed, breathes mingling.

"Buck..." His name is a broken sigh and I watch as that plump bottom lip quivers.

"I fucked up. I fucked up doll and im so god damn sorry. So sorry..." The tears finally fall, sliding down his cheeks in steady streams. burying his face in my neck he grips me tighter, leaning me back slightly. The new angle has him hitting something devastating and my own tears fall but for a completely different reason.

"I love you. Love you so much Doll. You're my best girl. Never leaving again. Fucking stupid. Gonna stay, be with you forever." He's babbling now, hands sliding and gripping anything he can reach. mouth moving down to capture my nipple; Nipping and sucking and rolling it between his teeth. Once again im becoming quickly overwhelmed by him and the affect he has on me, my mind swirling with all the words he'd said, is saying. Because it doesn't seem he can stop.

"Gonna have a family with you. Fill you with my babies, have little ones that look like us. You want that pretty girl? want me to make you a mama? hmmm? you'd do so good baby.Doing so good taking me like this." My breath is knocked out of me with his next thrust and he doesn't even give me a chance to recover.

Gripping my ass he lifts me off the counter causing my legs to wrap around him even tighter. He's holding me up, supporting all my weight as he bounces me up and down on him viciously. I can tell he's becoming desperate, his jaw coming unhinged as he watches his cock disappear into me; Groans loudly when he sees the glistening wetness coating him.

Watching how dismantled he looks is what sends me over the edge for the second time that night. I'm screaming, blubbering like a baby, begging and pleading for him to give it all to me, everything he promised, I want it all.

With a loud growl he gives it to me, smashing his lips to mine in a violent kiss, teeth clacking together as his rhythm falters. "Of fuck. Of fuuuuck." He moans out, hips jerking up into mine, cock twitching as he shoots rope after rope of hot cum into me, coating my walls with his seed. I whimper as my walls clench, milking him dry of everything he has.

When we both finally come down he's quick to carry me into my room. Once there, bucky does what bucky does best. He takes care of me.

Later that night as we are lying in bed, curled up together under my thousands of fuzzy blankets, I finally ask what had been on my mind since I realized it was him.

"What made you come back?"

"I missed my best girl, had to see her again." My heart swells even more at his words, if that's even possible. "Hello, Alpine."

Meow.