#sliding the writers a note that says 'show don't tell'

[cartcop]

I think my major issue with the finale (and s6 overall) is that Buck had SO much going on, 5 different thematically similar internal and external conflicts, and I don't feel like the show did nearly enough to weave them together or show the progress of them onscreen.

I have no idea why Buck was no longer scared to "pick the wrong couch again." I know why he was interested in Natalia specifically, but not the bigger emotional picture of how/why he got over this emotional hurdle.

I have no idea how he's changed since the lightning strike - they told us he has, but what's actually going on in his head? I have literally no idea.

I don’t know what kind of growth he experienced via the donor baby. I know he decided he could be donor-not-dad from the get go, stuck to that throughout the pregnancy, and then had a wistful moment gazing at his progeny. But that doesn't really feel like a big emotional moment when he's been saying it's not his kid for 8 months.

I know he started the season wanting more professional responsibility and ended it taking charge when the 118 was in danger, but I don't know what skills he acquired in the interim to allow him to do it successfully. I don't know how he feels about it. I don't even know if by the finale he still WANTED to lead. It was fine enough payoff, but it certainly wasn't an "Eddie suiting up in Mayday" kind of payoff.

I know his coma dream taught him Lessons but I don't know how they're reflected in his real life?

Compare how his arcs this season played out to Hen and med school, or Eddie and dating and I think you can see the massive deficiencies in Buck's season. And I'm totally aware that they need to leave things open so they have somewhere to go next season, but all of his (many, many) storylines having such a lack of emotional depth is a real bummer.

I think it would've been magnitudes better if he had really struggled on screen with the donation, so that moment of him handing the baby off to Kameron would've shown some real growth. A single conversation about him needing to not be scared to live because he DIED as an explanation for dating again. We sort of half-got a lot of these things - Buck telling everyone Kameron was pregnant and the onesie, Buck at the cemetery saying every day is a gift - but they didn't really commit to any of it, and they certainly didn't give themselves the time to flesh all of it out. All in all, for a very Buck heavy season, I don't feel like I know Buck any better, and I know he's made some steps forward, but only because they told us he did. I really would've liked to see the emotional journey to get there.

[biolumien]

... carried flower petals

pt 2 to this

notes: I AM. such a bad writer. help. going through double the stages of grief on this one. who even cares. who even gaf! i don't. im winning in the dgaf wars. (lying)

samurai!soshiro hoshina x fem!reader NSFW! w/ m/f sex. no i did not proofread this. this isn't a flex i actively just squinted trying not to look too hard at my own writing. this is also hoshina pov word count: 2415

hoshina supposes that he couldn’t blame you for your reaction. there was no way you would have been happy about marrying him, a complete and utter stranger–no matter how many times you might have met prior. and in the three times you’d met, he’d tried to keep his distance. there was an aura of deep discontent about you, and he didn’t want to disturb you, for fear that your anger would turn darker.

at least, until you pulled a dagger on him.

the dagger that he’d gifted you, no less. 

or, well–he hadn’t gifted it to you directly. he had selected the gift, but it had come alongside the marriage offer–and so hoshina wondered if you’d conflated the dagger as something utterly negative. when he’d picked out the dagger, he’d vowed it to keep you safe from harm. a selfish well-wishing on his part, sure–as a samurai, he was bound to make enemies that could hurt you.

he raises a hand to his neck, touching where you might have slashed him.

would he have let you? 

he brings himself to his feet as the sliding door to his room opens. you stand in the doorway, dressed in a simple nightgown–a far cry from the garments you wore during the ceremony. 

his mind flits back to them, for a moment–you’d chosen to wear pure white, contrasting him in his black haori and hakama. your expression had been severe, distant even then. you’d followed your new attendants into the quarters of your new housing within the hoshina clan’s home to change out of your wedding attire, and you hadn’t met his glance once.

you bow your head.

“your attendants tell me you’re quite the talent in bed,” you say, your voice crisp. your eyes meet his, your gaze unreadable. his eyes flick to your hands, folded neatly in front of you–and yet your fingers are fidgeting ever so slightly, a possible indication of just how nervous you were. 

hoshina can’t help but laugh.

“is that what they say? my mother can’t help but find people that run their mouths…” hoshina runs a hand through his hair. “sit. i can’t have my wife–” the word still felt foreign to him–wife, he was really a husband, was that even a moniker that fit him?–but he swallows his misgivings, pats one of the cushions next to the futon. “–standing for so long. it would be unfitting.”

“so are you?” you gather your kimono, sitting down. 

hoshina hums.

“if i tell you, would you see me differently?” hoshina asks.

“well. you’re my husband,” you say. the corners of your lips twitch when you say the word husband, your brow furrowing a little bit as you say it. a clear show of your definite displeasure. “i have to… accept it, after all. as your wife. hell, your attendants tell me that you were in the process of courting concu–”

“ahh,” hoshina leans his head back. “so is that what that’s all about?” he sighs, a strange, tightening pressure forming somewhere in his throat. the marriage acceptance hadn’t been on his end. it’d been his father’s, much to his mother’s chagrin. you were from a no-name clan, having long lost your family’s relevance. his mother had complained about your family’s name dragging down the hoshina family’s name.

but as hoshina reminisced–he couldn’t give a damn about his family name.

his brother–his proud, arrogant, stubborn, awful brother–had made his opinion on their family name very clear, by just leaving.

hoshina did resent him for it, just a little. it just meant that he couldn’t run away, now. 

“no. the concubine rumor’s bullshit,” hoshina says. “quite honestly, i couldn’t be bothered. i’m not in the interest of producing my family an heir.”

“huh?” you ask, sounding confused. “but–” “i mean. the sex is fine,” hoshina says candidly, placidly. “and if the family gets an heir, we get an heir. but it’s never been my concern. i think you ought not to worry about it, either. our families need each other. it’ll be reason enough for you to stay.” 

you stare at him, perplexed for the moment, before your brow also furrows. 

“so, you… don’t, want—”

“mm. you pulled a knife on me last time we talked,” hoshina teases as he begins to undo his ponytail. “i thought that made your opinion on me fairly clear. i won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable if you don’t want it. my folks won’t be happy, but there’s nothing like lying that can’t fix that.” he runs a hand through his hair. “so it’s your call.”

you watch him. 

“it’s fine,” you say. you lean in closer to him, and he simply watches you—watches you like he did on the first day the two of you met, watches you like he did when you raised the dagger to his throat. always watching, waiting for you to make the first move. 

“i’d rather just get it over with,” you say. “the first time.” 

“mm. as you command, then,” hoshina says. 

when he leans in to kiss you, he does it slowly. you taste faintly of the sake you drank during the marriage ceremony, though the alcohol has long worn off. 

he wishes he could take you apart more cleanly. to take you apart with intention. he can draw the lines from the veins in your wrist to the beating, fluttering of your heart in your breast. you kiss him with your eyes open, as if you’re watching for his every movement. he supposes that he’s watching you, too, trying to see what you’ll do. what you like. 

“are you just going to kiss me?” you murmur, something like spite in your voice. “or are you actually going to show me something interesting?” 

“interesting?” he pulls back from the kiss, raising an eyebrow. 

“i’ve read all the woodcuts,” you say. “as apparently was my duty as your wife. i was just wondering if there was anything more interesting than that.” 

“mm. you can’t possibly learn what it feels like through reading alone,” hoshina says. “experience is the best teacher.”

“big talk,” you retort. hoshina almost hates the way his heart flutters at your words, entranced by you. one hand reaches out to touch your face, the other hand gently reaching down to undo your obi as he pulls you closer to him, letting you straddle his lap. 

“i’m afraid most of my lovers say i’m a talkative one,” hoshina purrs. “but i hope you’ll find me satisfactory.” when he leans in to kiss you again, your sash falls gently onto the ground, and the inner layers of your kimono come undone.  

he’s had no small share of lovers—or, well, general brothel experience, he supposes. he’s a man in the end—a samurai from a family of renown, for whom many lovers might have found him appealing simply for how much money he was willing to pay for good service. but he knows what he’s doing, in any case.

he revels in it, though—at how responsive and jittery you seem to be. the faintest touch of his hand against your skin is enough to make you jolt out of your skin, and you whimper ever so slightly as his fingers pull at a nipple, and he feels your pulse jump in your throat as his teeth graze at your neck. he feels you shift against him, attempt to press your thighs together and he laughs. 

he’s surprised there, too—the way you shudder when he laughs, as he’s pressed against you. 

when his fingers seek between your legs, he’s thrilled, but still surprised to find the telltale sign of slick. 

“mm. this wet already, really?” hoshina teases. his hand brushes against your inner thigh, coaxing you to spread your legs a little more, and he feels your leg twitch against the shift of his knuckles. “you’re desperate.” 

“as if.” your breath sounds shuddery, and hoshina laughs, not meanly. he wonders how he could take you apart—could he use just his mouth? his fingers? the mere suggestion of touching you, just using words alone? he wanted to know, desperately so. desperately in the same way he wanted to know your heart, if only you’d let him. but in the meantime, he smiles—and it’s more of a smirk. 

he takes his fingers to his mouth, sucking the wetness from his fingers, and he revels in the way you flush, a half-scandalized and half-flustered sound escaping your mouth. 

“it’s alright,” hoshina says, teasing. 

“i don’t—need you to tell me it’s alright,” you say, flustered. “i just—”

“less talking from you,” hoshina says, fondly. gently. he’s entranced by you, the swell of your breast and the way your skin flushes red from your neck to your collarbones. he wishes he could sink his teeth into your pulse—or would you give him your beating heart, let him devour the tender organ? “you’re doing wonderfully. do you feel up for more?” 

you pause, biting your lip. he marvels at the way your fingers twitch against his in anticipation, and your brow furrows. 

“let—i want to be on top,” you say, and hoshina simply smiles. 

“alright,” he acquiesces. “i’m all yours.”

that much was true. he was learning far too quickly that he was very much a man that would follow you anywhere, that he was at your beck and call. 

you help him undress with shaking hands, pulling his belt away and pushing the kimono from his shoulders. your hands stop for a moment as you survey his chest—hoshina watches your face, propped back and leaning back on his hands. your fingers press against a deep scar against his chest, and your eyes meet his. 

“long story,” hoshina says softly. “not the kind i’d tell my wife on our first night together, anyhow.” 

your hand gently touches his cock and he hisses, practically, wincing at how it feels like too much and not much at all. it takes most of his discipline to not rut up into the touch, to let himself be taken by that pleasure. you gently push him back, letting him lie back against the futon. 

as you lower yourself slowly onto his cock, hoshina watches as your fingers flex against his chest, your eyes squeeze and your toes desperately curl. he shifts his hips a little bit, and you whimper. 

“don’t tease,” you keen. 

“m’not.”

hoshina thinks it’s quite the opposite, really. he’s a patient man, but not this patient. you’re about halfway down his cock at this point, slowly taking him in bit by bit—and then his patience just snaps somehow when he hears you whine again. not in a bad way—just in a he’ll fucking die like this, he’s sure kind of way. 

you gasp immediately as he thrusts up, causing you to bottom out. your hips meet his, and you lean your head back, a loud and desperate moan leaving your lips. 

“y-you awful man,” you moan out, something like a pout in your tone. “i wanted to take my time—”

“mm—hm. sorry,” hoshina teases, not quite apologetic at all. his voice strains a bit—you feel almost like a fire, your cunt desperately squeezing against his cock. “just don’t think i’ll last long with you squeezing me like this. does it feel that good?”

your face flushes, your hair plastered to your forehead. 

“shut up.”

“i’ll take that as a yes, then,” hoshina says, unrepentant in the way he thrusts up into you, reveling in the way you respond to each movement with tiny little whimpers that stretch into longer and longer cries. you don’t say his name, but he finds himself uncaring for the moment. does he wish you’d say his name? does he wish, however selfishly, that this moment might burn itself into your memory?

surely he doesn’t. it would be unbecoming of him to ask that much. 

your hand leans out, digging into his skin, and he lets out a soft, raspy breath, taking your hand into his. 

“‘m close,” you whimper out through shaking breaths, and hoshina’s heart squeezes again, at the way your hips cant against his, as if each touch almost hurts, but you can’t help but continue to press your hips against his, trying to find more traction. hoshina smirks, his free hand reaching out to thumb at your clit, flicking upwards, and tries to see if he can memorize the way you seize up against him, the way you squeeze down on his cock–tries to see if he can memorize every twitch.

he hopes he can.

you cum soon after, and your hand digs into his so hard that he wonders if you might be able to break his fingers one day–and hopes that you can. he holds you tightly against him, letting you ride out the waves of your orgasm as you whimper tiny uh, uh, uhs–until you wince.

“hurts, i–please,” you say, and hoshina takes pity on you for the moment, pulls out, and strokes soothingly at your face. your chest heaves, and hoshina thinks he could get lost in your every motion. as hoshina shifts to move away–he’d rather prioritize your comfort over his in the end, so despite the fact that he was hard to the point it almost hurt, he figured he’d just deal with it on his own—you shift up.

“but you–you didn’t,” you say after a moment, grabbing his wrist. 

“hm?” hoshina hums. “mm. don’t worry about me, dear. i’m more than capable of–fuck, you–” his voice halts right as your hand wraps around his cock, your thumb grazing over the head of it ever so gently. “fuck. you-you don’t have to–”

“please,” you say, something like disdain–or spite? or something, he really couldn’t tell–in your voice. “i can do this much.”

he cums embarrassingly fast–the mixture of being so strung out at this point, so strangely affected, enamored by you–and he can’t help but laugh. he wants to press his face into your collarbone, but he can’t bring himself to cross the distance. he hums, instead, simply exhaling through his teeth for a moment.

“get some rest,” hoshina says. he watches as your face shifts ever so slightly–and he wishes he knew you better, if only so he could understand what you were thinking.

“alright,” you say.

hoshina fears he’s in love.

but the part of him that knows better says he shouldn’t be. he watches silvery moonlight paint the planes of your back, and you turn away from him, lost in sleep. 

he sighs.

[graysnetwork]

Mayybe you could write some headcanons for keegan with.. first time? :^3

Or a short drabble in a similar context, if you want ofc eheh

hii tysm for the request!! i hope you like this cuz i made this as head cannons and a drabble at the end.

FIRST TIME - Keegan Russ X AFAB READER

Notes - i made sure to make the oneshot at the end 500 words exactly 💀🤷🏻‍♀️

Warnings: nsfw obvi, breeding kink in the oneshot

Summary: Your first time with Keegan is the sweetest thing ever

Keegans already very passionate when it comes to sex

When he learns that its your first time he's almost worried, he asks questions like

"are you sure you want to do this with me?" "I wont rush you" "You want me?"

Things like that, because he feels so honored and special that he'll be the first person to be so intimate with you.

Keegans gonna be getting you ready all evening to begin with.

As I've said in my nsfw hc's, he's a man that loves thighs, and loves whats in between them, so trust he will be eating you out first.

Keegan will be placing kisses on your thighs, making hickeys and basically be impressing his initials on your thighs for only him to see.

Keegans gonna be in between your thighs for a while, lapping at your folds so he makes an agreement to a safe word, just in case it becomes too much for you, and he takes it seriously, because he would never want to make it a bad experience for you.

Keegans going to make sure your not uncomfortable with him

(ik other writers sometimes write that character want to see everything)

thats not Keegan, if you don't want him to touch or see certain things than he wont, and he'll wait for you to be ready, in no way is he even gonna try to convince you to show him something you don't want to.

If your embarrassed about stretch marks at all, he's gonna tell you how its not serious and he loves it, it makes you even more beautiful

by this point he's hard as a rock

So once you guys get to actually taking him

He'll take it slow, however long it takes for you to adjust to his size, he will wait, theres no way he's gonna rush this especially when he feels so snug inside of you.

He will wait for you to tell him if you want more of him inside, if you start saying you might not be able to do this, he's gonna be sliding out as soon as you say it

he will jerk off, or just walk out the room and get you a water bottle so he can just cuddle with you until you feel okay again.

thats if you couldn't do it

on the other hand

At halfway your already begging for all of him inside

Keegans definitely chuckling at your eagerness

But he thinks you look so beautiful and cute under him right now, squirming at his length

Once he's fully bottomed out, he's telling you he'll move when your ready

Once he does start moving, its euphoric for both of you

and if your embarrassed to moan, its going unnoticed by Keegan because he's already moaning and groaning

if you are moaning, he's still moaning either way.

He will place kisses all over your neck, collar bone, face, anywhere his lips can reach

Keegan's already placing you hands on his shoulders because he loves marking, (just like he leaves hickeys on you) he wants you scratching his back, he doesn't even care if you draw blood, if anything he's getting more turned on

he just wants to please you so badly

After care w him is so sweet

He's gonna clean you up very gently,

run you a bath or start up your shower, he'll shower with you if you want him to

He'll get you a bottle of water, snacks if you want them

and then he'll be changing the sheets too

so you guys can go to sleep

he'll rub your back

or he'll have you laid back on the bed as he starts to kiss your thighs again, and eventually fall asleep between your legs

_

He's losing it already, he's always been this way, the minute he finally starts getting his own feeling of pleasure while making another person also feel good, he starts to lose himself and get too rough, he doesn't want to be rough with you, he's trying to be as slow and gentle for you, and make you feel so good, but your so warm, and your walls are squeezing around him so gently but so tightly at the same time, he’s never felt this good with any other girl hes been with.

 He doesn't want it to end and he doesn't know how to stop, he could stay here all night, all day, he could be inside you forever if it meant you'd feel this good. Keegan's beginning to get faster, he can barely hear your voice because he's been focusing on where you two connect, and how the noises of squelching are overtaking the room.

You knock him back into reality when your nails start to dig into his skin, “What’d you say sweetheart?” he asks so gently as he continues to go even faster, it's overwhelming, for both of you. You don't even reply, you didn't say anything, he just thinks he heard something because you've been moaning so loudly. “oh,” he says as he gives you another peck on the cheek.

“Maybe one kid won't hurt” He says, your eyes widen a bit, and he chuckles, “im kidding sweetheart” he tells you as you shake your head lightly, at this point he didn't know if he was kidding or not. “I wouldn't be opposed to having your kids” you tell him, which makes his brain go fuzzy.

You; having a swollen stomach and it being his kid, you'd be all his, with all his cum inside of you.

Shit you were making him have new kinks.

“m’I might have to cum in you baby” he moaned as he looked back down at you taking him, now he was getting even faster which you thought was impossible as he was already going so quick. And he was getting rougher, his hands and nails were digging into your hips, he was most definitely going to be leaving so many bruises on you. And he was kissing your neck again, purple bruises beginning to form.

“y’close sweetheart?” he asked knowingly, you couldn't even focus on anything, you were just seeing stars. His thrusts got sloppier as he was about to cum too, he couldn't have thought of anything better if he was being honest.

And then you two came undone together, he pulled out right before, of course it would've been so amazing to see you pregnant with his kid, but he’s sure you said that in the heat of the moment.

“C’mon lets get cleaned up” you said as laid on his side as he moved your hair out of your face, he smiled and let out an airy chuckle as you stared confused. “Who said we were done?”

[neesieiumz]

𓆩☆𓆪 | 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙵𝙵 ⸺ ⚞𝙴𝚁𝚆𝙸𝙽 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝚃𝙷 ⚟

⸻ synopsis ⫸〖 when your home gets flooded out by a bad storm, it's only right for sheriff erwin smith to help you out, right love?〗

⸻ warnings ⫸ sm*t. fluff. minors do not interact. part ii of the gold rush anthology. sheriff!erwin. bar-owner!reader. canon-age Erwin. reader is in her late twenties, or early thirties, however, you wanna see it. afab reader. female reader. black-coded reader. soft-dom!erwin. fingering. squirting. titty-sucking. full-nelson position (yes, can you tell I have a fantasy that I really wanna do?) soft-dom!erwin. he's also really stressed out in this. he also calls you "love" all the time. he also calls you a good girl during this as well. friends-to-lovers. p*rn with plot.

⸻ writers note ⫸ lol much like reiner's this took me like two months to write. y'all better pray it don't take me that long to do eren's or we're gonna have a problem!! I just hope you all enjoy this.

⸻ word count ⫸ 7.0k.

masterlist. | previous part in the anthology | next part in the anthology |

The bar was empty, the kitchen cleaned up, and all quiet as well. The air that once smelled of cheap beer and grease now began to fade into the smell of night dew and wet sand. You stood behind the bar, wiping down the few wet glasses to put away. Glancing out the door, seeing the moon and stars glowing against the midnight sky, sighing as your mind faded back to the events before. Back to the way Erwin and his men had rushed out of here. It has been chaotic for the people within this town. For the past two weeks, those bandits had been ravaging the town, escaping with no trace within the wind. You had overheard their frustrations from both the police force and Garrison boys and how they evaded their every movement. Wiping your wet hands against your dress, turning around to do a final count of the beer stocked behind you. It was a hassle, always being the last one, but you knew no one else could leave your bar the way you do. As you did so, you suddenly heard the door creak and swing open. Gasping, jumping in slight shock, grabbing the closest thing to you before a familiar voice hissed through the air. 

The very same man you were thinking about stomped right through the bar, face red, grumbling in anger. He wasn’t wearing his hat, probably left it at the office as he trampled on through. His bronze-brown vest was unbuttoned, showing off his buttoned-down shirt stained with sand and dirt stains. The smell of wet mud, rain, and sweat hit your nose but you said nothing as he made his way towards you, sitting right down at one of the bar stools. He let out a loud groan, reaching up, losing the scarf he tied around his neck. You let out a breath, not saying a word as you turned right back around, going to one of the beer barrels. Filling it with the one he drinks the most, before sliding it to him. Not missing a beat, he took the tall glass, downing most of it in one go.

“Thank ya kindly, love,” he said, slamming the glass down on the table. 

“Don’t go and break my glass, Erwin,” you joked, taking the glass and going to fill it. 

“My apologies, and no need for more, I’ll be too dizzy to head back home.”

You hummed, before lifting the glass up, sipping down the little you had already poured back into the cup. Erwin said nothing, watching as you licked your lips, shuddering slightly at the taste of the bitter wheat alcohol. 

“I don’t know how you boys can be drinking that shit all day,” a grimace took over your face. 

Erwin smirked, “it’s an acquired taste, could say the same thing about the fancy lil wine you’re always drinking.”

You rolled your eyes at that, smirking, “alright now Erwin..”

Rinsing and washing the glass, before taking the damp rag and wiping it down. Back facing towards him, you spoke once more. 

“Assuming from your attitude, you don’t have any good news about them bandits?”

Almost immediately, you could feel his mood dampen. He groaned, hearing sink further into the table. You glanced back at him, finding both of his large hands covering his face in further frustration. 

“I’m assuming that’s a no,” you said. 

He let out a softer sigh, before pushing himself up once more, looking at you as you shuffled around, still facing the back of the bar. 

“They’re tricky lil things, constantly evading my men,” he sighed, groaning as well as he sat up fully. 

“We chased 'em down to the big forest all the way out there, but we lost' em. Still don’t know how, not like there’s many places to hide up there. We even checked the big cave over there as well and all the possible trees they could hide in.”

Sighing, you placed the glass down with the rest of them before turning around and facing him fully. You leaned over the table, pressing your abdomen against the shiny wood. Using your free hand, you placed your pad on his cheeks, your longer fingers reaching his blond hair, while your thumb stroked his cheek. You could feel his smile form against your hand, smiling soon after that. 

“Kirstein’s been on my ass about finding them, they took a lot of his equipment and it was real expensive for him to buy new ones in the city. Told him to sell his wife’s jewelry and he looked at me like I got two cow heads.”

You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped your lips, thinking about Jean waving his fist over at Erwin, before speaking, “You can’t catch em all Erwin in one night, plus them robbers real sneaky too. First we’ve ever seen someone like this. It’ll be alright, m’kay?”

He nodded his head, and you soon moved your hand, lifting your body upright once again. He glanced around the bar, seemingly noticing that there was no one else there but him. He glanced over at you as you placed the wet rag on the rack hanging from the counter, before stepping out from behind it. Erwin watched you begin slowly turning off the lights hanging around the bar, dimming down all the lanterns. 

“Lemme walk you home, love. Can’t have you out here at night like this.”

You couldn't suppress your smile as you dimmed the last lantern, nothing but the low light of the moon peeking through the door surrounding, darkness swallowing you two whole. 

You sighed, walking back to the bar to grab your bag, “if by home, you mean the motel across town then yeah.”

Turning around, jumping at the sudden tall figure right in front of you. He peered down at you, eyes slightly wide. 

“What you mean by that, love? Why you staying in a place like that?” He asked you.

Letting out a shaky breath, and taking a step back. Erwin was close, so close that it had your heart suddenly palpated a bit, heat suddenly flashing through your body. 

“Um..” your mind went blank for a bit, before resetting, “that storm a few nights ago put me out, my roof and walls leaking so I grabbed what I could and ran down to the motel. Was soaking wet when I got there too.” You slightly snorted at that last part but Erwin’s face didn’t change at all.

“Now why didn’t you tell me about this? I could have helped you?”

You crossed your arms, taking a deep breath to help calm yourself just a bit, “and do what? You and the entire damn force were worried about those bandits. You know I don’t wanna be a bother, Erwin.”

His large, coarse came up to your face, pressing it against your cheek. Your heart kicked back up as he took a step closer to you, stomping over the distance you had put between the two of you. 

“Now you know you could never be a bother to me, love.”

You couldn’t help the smile, looking up into his usually icy blue eyes, hardened from years on the job, that now had a softened look to them. You couldn't help but use your free hand, reaching up and placing it on top of his own. The two of you smiled at each other, before dropping your hands at the same time. Erwin turned around, heading towards the opened door together. 

“I don’t feel comfortable with you staying in the motel, especially with these bandits running around,” he mentioned as he opened the door, holding it open for you. 

Sighing, turning around to lock up the bar, “well, what would you have me do Erwin? Everyone else I know is packed full, and I’m not going into the forest late at night. The carpenter’s are stretched thin with everyone else and won’t finish with my place until next week.”

You put your keys back in your bag, turning around to look at him. His face was lowered, eyebrows furrowed in a look of pondering as the two of you walked through the almost silent town. You could hear a commotion in the background, most likely people having their own get-togethers as well.  

“You could come stay with me. Until they repair your house of course.”

Your eyes widened, head swinging to look at him. The two of you locked eyes as your heart dropped for a quick moment. Stay… at Erwin’s place…? You shuffled a bit as you thought upon the idea, the idea of you two sharing a space for at least a week. Just for a quick moment, a flash of a much more, racy sight of him had your heart pounding a mile a minute. 

“I really don’t wanna put you out like that Erwin,” you spoke up, shuffling and looking away from him, trying your best to be still with your beating heart

Cool hands reached out to your chin, pulling your head up to look at the 6’2 man. 

“Now what did I just say, love? You could never be a burden to me, and you could never put me out.”

With no other words, his other hand reached out, sliding your bag out of his hands before swinging it over his shoulders. He began walking ahead of you, taking a few steps before looking back at you. He jerked his head, motioning for you to follow him. With no other words, softly smiling as you turned and walked towards him, the two of you walking in step as you walked through the town. Despite the sheriff's office being in the center of town, Erwin preferred to live a bit of the way in the opposite direction away from the forest. He likes being near the main entrance of the town, just in case something happens. As you were halfway there, a large gust of sudden cold wind blew past the two of you, causing you to shiver a bit. Your arms crossed each other, your hands stroking them to create some kind of heat. Erwin must have noticed your actions as all of a sudden, you heard a ‘plop’ before a weight fell upon your shoulders. Looking around, you saw the jacket Erwin was wearing draped across your shoulders. You looked up at him, noting him pointedly not looking back down at you as he continued walking. You let off a small smile, snuggling into the warm jacket, sounding off a soft “thank you” before continuing to walk behind him. 

The two of you soon got to his home, a simple two-story house given to him by the townspeople, a thank you for all that he does. You followed behind him as he fished for his keys out of his pockets, unlocking the door and pushing it open as he did so. He gestured for you to enter his home first, stepping out of the way for you. Soon after, he walked in behind you, closing the door behind you as you stood in his dark living room. He carefully slid past you, his hands reaching out to your waist to stabilize you easily as he walked over to a corner. Soon the room began to illuminate, allowing you to look at the quaint and simplistic living room. There was barely anything in the living room, a simple couch, a table along with a record sitting in the corner. Erwin straightened himself before turning around and walking abc towards you. 

“Let me take you to where you’ll be resting your head, love.”

He took you by the hand, causing you to gasp as he took you towards the stairs, which you hadn't noticed right near the front door. He guided you up the stairs, your bag still sitting and swinging on his shoulders. Coming up to the second floor, he took you down a hall before pushing a door open. You tilted your body behind him, peeking into the place where he led you. It was a bedroom, presumably the place where you would be resting your head for the next week or so. It was simple, a bed on a wooden stand with a night drawer right beside it. You followed behind him as he placed the bag right onto the bed before turning around. 

“This is one of the guest bedrooms, mainly for Levi whenever he comes into town, but he’s busy working on another case.” 

You blinked, nodding along as he explained where some of the things are. 

“The bathroom is the door right here,” he said, gesturing to the only other door in the room. 

There was also a huge dresser, instead of a closet which was fine as well, better for you since you wouldn't be staying for long anyways

“There’s one more guest bedroom down the hall, but it’s unfurnished so it's just full of boxes. So the only other room you’ll see up here is my own room.”

You turned towards him smiling, eyes welling up with tears of appreciation, “thank you again for this Erwin, you really didn't have to.”

He approached you, his long arms reaching out holding you on the shoulders, “how many times do I have to tell you, it's not a problem, love. Now, make yourself at home.” He said, before letting your shoulders go. 

He gave one last smile, before walking towards the door, opening it, and walking it out. The moment he left, you let out a sigh of relief, fanning off the sudden heat of nervousness from your face. You crossed the room, sitting on top of the bed before reaching for your bag. This was all you had brought with you when you left your home, most of your things water-damaged from the storm. You unzipped it, before sifting through all your clothes and things before pulling out a few night dresses that weren’t damaged. 

The rest of the night was uneventful, taking a shower to wash off the smell of alcohol and food on my body before slipping under the cool sheets. Despite the obvious unused in the room, the sheets still smelled fresh, like they were recently cleaned. You smiled, relishing in the soft feeling, unlike the itchy blankets over at the motel. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── ·

It had been three days since you had taken solace in Erwin’s home, and the two of you found yourself in comfortable waters so easily. At first, it was nerve-wracking being in such close proximity to him, but you soon found it easier the more he reassured you. He had shown you around in the morning after you had arrived, before personally walking you back to the bar to open up for the day. He would meet you at the end of the day, even if he had night duty, to walk you back to the house as well. His pure actions and gestures only made you yearn and pine for him more. 

As you stood in his kitchen, the bar closed up early to account for the sudden curfew the mayor had just put out. You knew Erwin was working hard and late nights, you would hear him come in late at night sometimes, your mind only tuning into his heavy footsteps creaking against the wood floors before falling back into your heavy sleep. And like clockwork, he would get up at the same time as you, to walk you to the bar. He would come in when it closed to walk you home before heading back to his office as well. You knew it was weighing over him, all this responsibility to bring peace back to your town, where more and more people were coming in from the city to experience the rush happening all over. 

You glanced over to your left, out the window, where you could see Erwin’s form hunched over, barely illuminated by the light inside the home. Sighing, you closed the pot of stew you were brewing, wiping your hands cleaning with a wet rag before walking out, towards the door. The breeze was blowing slightly, sand sifting out in the distance. The scenery in front of you was enjoyable, much more than what your own home would have to offer. The slight rancid smell of smoke pulled you out of your thoughts. Turning towards your right, seeing the blonde man hunched over the railing, a cigar in one hand, a glass of brown liquor in the other. 

“Those things’ll kill you, Erwin.” you spoke out, cutting through the slice of the night. 

His head turned slightly towards you, eyes staring right back at you. He smirked, lifting up his cigar before taking another hit. 

“This stress’ll kill me before these things do.”

You rolled your eyes, walking towards him, taking the space right beside him. The cigar smoke only smells stronger, so you knew this wasn't his first one of the night. He leaned back suddenly, throwing back the rest of his bourbon, pressing his half-burnt cigar into the railing, making another of what seemed to be numerous burn marks. Glancing behind you, at the small little area Erwin had set up on his porch, you found the bottle of bourbon along with a pack of cigars and another empty glass. You took a step back, grabbing the bottle and the glass before standing right beside him again. You poured yourself one before pointing the bottle towards Erwin, who looked down at the bottle, before holding his own glass out. You poured halfway to his cup, before placing the bottle on the railing beside you. 

You turned back towards him, tipping your glass towards him, and Erwin immediately clinked it with yours. You took a sip while Erwin basically downed the whole thing once more. Pulling the glass away, a scowl appeared on your face as you looked at the drink. 

“I still don’t know how you people drink this type of shit,” You spoke, reminiscent of when you took a sip of beer a few days ago, leaning down again the railing, holding the glass with two hands. 

He chuckled, shuffling closer to you, leaning over the railing as well. 

It was silent between the two of you, just taking in the scenery at the moment. The wind was blowing just a little harder than before, the air smelling just a bit humid from the past storms tormenting the town. You could see the Kierstein ranches in the distance, along with the forest where your friend and coworker lived as well. 

“Tell me what’s on your mind Erwin, you know I’m worried.”

His chuckle lightly echoed through the almost empty home, facing straight as he pushed himself up, “Hange’s been on me about getting these bandits. Luckily it seems they’ve stopped for now, but we still can't find whatever they’ve stolen. Towns ‘n a riot.”

You knew about the last part, as many angry men walked into your bar, cursing out both the thieves and Erwin for not finding their missing things. You were only lucky that your bar still hadn't been hit yet, but you couldn’t say the same thing for the other bars and pubs around town. You’d honestly never have seen anything like this, the way people have only confirmed three people yet they were able to flip a huge town like this on its head. You move your hand on his face towards his back, rubbing and caressing him trying your best to provide some solace. 

“Cut yourself some slack Erwin, there’s only so much you can do in this. I’m sure you are doing all you can.”

He only sighed, leaning back fully, looking up towards his ceiling, “but am I doing enough? There’s something I’m missing in this.” He shook his head, hand reaching up and basically slapping his forehead. 

“Fuck, I got a nasty headache,” he mumbled, before suddenly sniffing. 

He blinked, eyes furrowed in confusion, before turning back towards you, “you cooking something?”

You blinked, before the smell of char hit your nose, causing you to jump straight up. Squeaking as you raced inside, throwing the door open before running back to the kitchen. You reached the stove, grabbing the pot before moving it to an unused burner kneeling down, disconnecting the gas. You could feel Erwin’s eyes on you as you lifted the pot, sighing in relief as the smell of strong spices and herbs fully filled the air instead of a charcoal-burnt smell. Slowly you turned towards Erwin, locking eyes with his slightly concerned ones. 

“Want some soup?”

He smiled before standing up, you tried to tell him to sit down, as you didn't want him to do any to aggregate his said headache even further but he didn’t listen to you. He crossed the kitchen before standing right behind you, placing his hand on your waist as he reached up to the cupboards.

“‘Scuse me, love,” he said, opening the cupboards to bring out two bowls. 

His large hand rested right on your waist, letting an almost silent shaky breath as he squeezed it, bringing down the bowls to your level. Your hyperawareness only caused you to ache down there, your thighs squeezing together as he placed the bowls down on the counter. He helped you prepare the dishes, washing his hands before he did so. He grabbed the silverware along with two glasses of water as you ladled the food into the bowls. The two of you carried the food into the living room, rather than the fancy little dining room Erwin barely used. The two of you sat right next to each other, eating away at the late-night dinner you made. 

You did your best to keep Erwin’s mind off of work, and it seemed to have worked, the tense furrow on his brow reposting as you spoke of the latest gossip between the townsfolk, what you would hear day by day. How one of your long-time patrons’ had suspicions of his husband cheating, only for his husband and best friend to roll in two hours after he left. People have a lot of audaciousness is what he said after you told him about that. 

The soup you cooked soon disappeared between the two of you, along with the glasses of water as you spoke way into the night. Erwin had brought in the bourbon he was drinking, and the two of you shared the bottle, diluting it with water of course. You don’t know how it happened but the space you had put between you and the tall man had slowly decreased. Your thighs touching, shoulders grazing each other, the two of you unconsciously getting closer. 

“Oh, you got a little something here, love,” Erwin suddenly said, cutting into your giggles. 

Before you could say anything, his hand suddenly reached out to your face, his large hand cupping your face. 

With a slight sharp inhale, you could only look over at the side, seeing his thumb rub away at stains you had not seen from the corner of your eye. Erwin rubbed at it a little harder, but it seemed the smudge wouldn’t go away. He moved closer to you, leveling eye contact with you as his rough hands finally cleaned off the stain. By then, his face and you were so close together, your noses were barely touching. You let off a smile, thanking him for the help. He only smiled at your face, but his hand still rested on your face. Breathing deeply, as you closed your eyes, the scent of his sweat mixed in with his cologne, the smell of smoky vanilla bourbon, and cedar wood, along with the smell of blackened cigar smoke. It didn't deter you though. You could feel his presence get closer to you, the heat of his face radiating into your own. 

You opened your eyes just in time as Erwin closed the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips harshly against your own. You gasped, the sudden intensity catching you off guard, the sudden pressure causing you to stumble back a bit. Reaching up to him, one hand reaching up to his shoulder and the other resting right underneath his jawline. He tasted savory, the lingering taste of your late-night dinner still on his tongue. It didn’t deter you, in fact, you only pushed against him, your panties beginning to soak as his arms reached around you, wrapping and picking you up with ease. He placed you right on his lap, his other hand leaving your face, sliding down your hips to underneath your bottom, cupping it before squeezing gently. 

You suddenly let go of the kiss, lips wet as looked down into his blue eyes, which seemed deeper in color than usual. His usual cerulean blues now looked more like royal blue as you pressed your hips against him. You could feel his hard-on pressing up against your panties underneath your thin dress. Your hands reached, running them through his blonde hair. He smirked, lifting his head to look up at you.

“Erwin,” was all you said before he kissed you again.

You were much more ready for his kiss, accepting it with equal pressure. Unconsciously, your hips began to move above him. His gentle squeeze turned brutal as you rutted into him more, your juices beginning to seep into his rough jeans. Your hands soon left his hair, sliding down his neck, your delicate touches only causing him to shiver against you. Your manicured nails soon reached down to his shirt, the first few buttons unfastened already. Unbuttoning the rest, your hands grazed over his muscles, over every ridge and every scar from years on the job. He shivered under you, letting go of the kiss for a quick moment. 

“So fucking long,” he groaned, moving up against your ear, “I’ve waited for this.”

Before you could say anything, Erwin cut you off, pressing his wet lips behind your ear, trailing down to your neck. Steadying yourself, digging your nails into his side as he reached your collarbone, nibbling away at it. The aching within you only growing, and sweat beginning to drop down your back, seeping through your thin dress. His head soon dipped to the valley between your breasts as your own hands slid down to his jeans, fiddling with the belt that held them up. Erwin’s large hands left your bottom, reaching under before grabbing at the fabric. 

You could hear a stretch, the sound echoing through the room as you gasped, lifting your head to glare at the sudden cool air breeze against your back. 

“Erwin! I really liked that dress!” 

He only chuckled, seeing the rest of the scraps falling off your body, leaving you and nothing but your drenched panties. He only groaned at the sight, his hands leaving you as they shrugged off his vest, unwrapping his scarf. You assisted him, gliding your hands underneath the sleeves of his shirt, before sliding the shirt off his body. Once off his body. You threw the shirt into an obscure corner, before facing him again. Erwin thumbed at your panties, hooking underneath the waist and thigh band before slowly pulling it down. Your arousal dripped as you clenched around nothing, resting your naked body against Erwin’s half-naked own. Gasping as cool air hit your clit as he pulled your panties down fully, your nails digging into his biceps. The around you was hot as you lifted your legs up as best as you could, helping him slide the clothing off fully of your body. 

Seeing as you were fully naked while Erwin was still in his jeans, your hands gently brushed down his arms, reaching to his belt before slowly beginning to unbuckle it. At the same time, Erwin leaned down towards you, lips pressed against your neck. Hands fumbling as you shivered, the feeling of his trailing down your neck, towards your chest. His own hands slide up and around your waist, sliding up your abdomen before reaching your breasts. His large hands reached your breasts, pushing and massaging them. His lips soon wrapped around your hardened nipple, before sucking away at it. 

“Fuck,” cursing and gasping as a rush of euphoria shot through you. 

The fingers on his other hand squeezed your other nipple slightly, just enough to increase the inciting feeling rushing through you. Your hands slide up, grazing against his slightly scarred back, reaching into his soft, blonde hair before gripping harshly. The sensitivity in your nipples only amplified as he sucked at it. You let out long breathy moans as he teased you, letting out a particularly high-pitched moan as he suddenly pinched and moaned at your free nipple. Soon after he let up, the cool air hit your wet nipple before moving his attention to your other one. His hand slid back down your body, sliding in between your legs, before slowly parting your thighs, revealing your drenched cunt. His long fingers slipped in between your folds, swiping up and down in between them before slowly pressing his finger against your clit.

“Erwin,” you gasped, pulling on his hair, causing him to groan, lips still wrapped around your nipple. 

His finger continued to press and slowly rub circles into your clit, collecting the juices that continued to seep out of you. Your hips ground against him, your body aching for more, something else to fill the need trying to build within you. Erwin’s actions taunted you, his finger slipping in between your folds, the tip of his finger teasing the entrance to your hole. Your back curled as he slowly, ever so slowly, pressed his fingers inside of your, your arousal making it easier for him to slip inside of you. Your hips jerked and buckled, craving more and more stimulation. As he moved his finger, his mouth let go of your nipple, before resting his head right on our shoulder, lips lined up with your ear. 

“More,” you cried, burrowing your face into his shoulder. 

He only chuckled, his raspy chuckle only rousing you further, “you know you have to relax for me,” he mumbled. 

Taking a breath, you tried your best to, release the hold you have in his hair, sliding them and crossing them behind his neck, holding him close. 

“That’s it,” he murmured, before pressing another finger inside of you, “open up just for me.”

The stretch was slightly painful, but as quickly as the pain came, it went. You cried out even louder against his ear as his thumb pressed against your clit. Erwin’s fingers moved up and down inside of you, just as he began to nibble and kiss along the outer part of your ear, his heated breath only causing you to shiver and shudder against him. You tried to move your hips along the movement of his digits before a loud smack rippled against your skin, the pain heated so gratifyingly against you. 

“Stop moving,” his voice was harsh, it caused your heart to skip a beat. 

You trembled in his hold, but his voice commanded you, taking charge as your movements suddenly slowed down to a complete stop. 

“Good girl,” he groaned before continuing his actions. 

You could only whimper as his words, combined with the increasing pace of his fingering only caused the aching feeling building within you to surge and skyrocket. You basically drenched his fingers as he made his way with you, fucking you with his fingers while playing with your clit. Letting a high-pitched moan, you curled over, forehead resting right against Erwin as heat surged up and built within you. Your already quivering body trembles further. 

Suddenly, before you could reach that high peak, Erwin suddenly pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you shivering, cold and empty. You couldn't help but whine in his arms as he lifted his hands up, his two fingers and his top knuckles covered in your arousal. He soon pressed his hand against his lips, tasting your juices before licking his fingers clean. Once finished, his now-free hand joined his other, gripping your ass. Without warning, he suddenly stood up, his grip around you only tightening to keep you up in the air as you shriek, your arms tightening around his neck and shoulders. 

“Erwin—” you shrieked as you were lifted up into the air. 

Below you, you could see his pants and boxers pooled around his ankles before looking up to look at him. With no warning, you leaned towards him, capturing him into another kiss as you could feel him lifting the lower part of your body up, readjusting him and yourself. You melted into the kiss, your arms sliding back to allow you to hold his head between your heads. His usual cleaned-up hair was messed up, slightly drenched with sweat. Saliva was exchanged between the two of you, tongues swirling within each other's mouths. 

For a moment, you let go of his kiss, lips still pressed against him as you whispered, “I need you inside me, please, please, please, I can’t wait anymore…”

Erwin didn’t say a word, only enrapturing you into another kiss. Eventually, you could feel the tip of his hard-on pressing up against you, parting your inner labia. You let out a restrained moan into his mouth. With no other warning, he pressed on, overwhelming you even further. You abruptly let go of the kiss as you let out an impassioned cry, tongue falling out of your mouth as you brace yourself. The intensity had you convulsing within Erwin’s arms, your shaking legs easily held together by his strong arms. You could hear Erwin grunting and letting off heavy groans as he began to bottom out into you. His motions started off slow, just like his fingering actions before, allowing you to get used to his large size. The heated pressure around adding on to the sweat dripping down your body as Erwin began to move. 

“Fuck,” he cursed in your ear.

“Erwin,” you called out his name, laying your head on his shoulder as your face twisted in intensity. 

He grunted against you before speaking lowly into it, “Move your head, wanna— fuck— wanna see your pretty face.”

His voice was thick and sweet, like the most delicious chocolate cake, it coaxed you, as you moved your head, your locs brushing to the side as you gazed into his blue eyes. His pace quickened, the wet smacks echoing through the room, adding volume to your already thunderous moans. It was overwhelming, Erwin was overwhelming, a man who commanded the space around him, you couldn't help but succumb deeper and deeper to his glamor. He ravished you, his restraint breaking more and more as he savored your expressions, your sounds, and even the way you smelled. Your juices leaked all over the both of you, his hips plunged into you, the tip of his cock hitting your very core. The two of you bring out the best and worst in each other. 

You cried out his name once more, your body lurching against him, “Erwin, ahh—” You were suddenly cut off by your own lewd moan, dripping in lust. 

Erwin let off a deep groan disguised as a chuckle as he felt you involuntary clenching around him, the sudden tightening pushing him to a whole new level. His once strong-rhythmic thrust became erratic in nature. 

“You gonna come for me, love?” He groaned in your ear, the grip he had on your ass bruise-worthy. 

Nodding your head erratically, you only had a moment’s reprieve before your climax came rushing at you at full speed.

“Aaaahhh,” you threw your head back in ecstasy as you went still for a moment, everything tensing over as your orgasm washed over you. 

Erwin wasn’t letting up, as overstimulation began to set within you, your recently mind-numbing orgasm not helping you. You could do nothing but hang off for Erwin as he basically used you like a fuck-toy until he had reached his own peak. With a few final grunts, you could feel him spilling inside of you. The room now only echoed with your heavy breaths. Slowly, you opened your eyes, looking at his drenched blonde hair before using what little strength you had to pick up your head. The two of you locked eyes before breaking out into soft smiles. The two of you placed soft kisses on each other, as he turned around before slowly lowering your connected bodies on the couch. He slowly lowered you there before easing himself out of you, a slight hiss leaving your mouth as he did so. You grimaced as you felt your mixed fluids beginning to ooze out of you. You bent down, picking up your panties before sighing at the scraps of your dress on the floor. 

The two of you cleaned up, with you walking around in Erwin’s shirt while he stood in nothing but his boxers. He helped you put away the soup, and clean up the bowls you used. Once everything was clean, he dimmed out the latent, swallowing you all in darkness as you waited for him by the stairs. You could see his presence right in front of you, before squealing as he suddenly picked you up, bridal style. 

You wrapped your arms around him, before speaking, “you always gonna pick me up like this?”

He hummed, as he made it to the top of the stairs, shifting his body towards his bedroom door. He easily opened it with one hand whilst still holding you up. His room was quaint, with not many decorations, the few you could see were mainly photo frames of him and his team of police officers. Erwin laid you comfortably on the bed, however before he could walk to the other side and join you. A loud knock echoed through the house, jolting the both of you. You looked over at Erwin whose relaxed expression now took on a more hardened one. He walked over to his dresser, grabbing a pair of sweatpants before slipping them on. 

“Stay here,” he told you, seeing as you were beginning to push yourself off the bed. 

His words were stern and clear, so you sat back against the bed, watching him exit the room. Outside, Erwin walked down the stairs before eyeing his front door. Besides him, he reached into a drawer to pull out his gun. He slowly walked towards the door, slowly placing his hand on the knob before looking through the peephole. Erwin saw the familiar figure, relaxing as he opened the door fully. 

Standing on his porch was his secretary, a person he was not planning on seeing until he went in for work the next day. 

Erwin placed the gun on the table near him,, “almost thought you were someone else, what are you doing here?”

She let off a little awkward smile before handing him a file, “for you, sir.”

Erwin blinked, before taking the file and flipping through it. The familiar notes and words had Erwin furrowing his brow.

“This is the Kierstein report… Jaeger was supposed to get this for me, yesterday.”

The secretary shrugged her shoulders, “you know Eren was never going to get it done, especially when it comes to Jean. So it was either get it done or get Jean on our ass again.”

Erwin sighed, smacking the file against his head slightly, the migraine that had gone away slowly returning as he thought about his most ambitious officer. 

“I’ll have a few words with him tomorrow, get home, go get some sleep.” He called out to her, beginning to close the door not before hearing a noise, resembling a giggle coming from her. 

“Oh I’ll definitely get some sleep tonight, I wonder if you will as well.”

Erwin stopped in his tracks, turning back towards his secretary before seeing her point toward his chest. Erwin glanced down only seeing small red and purple bruises littered all over his neck and upper chest. His secretary could no longer hold back their giggles, muffling them with her hand as Erwin felt a flush of heat run through him. 

“Just, just get home.” He said sternly, before slamming the door shut. 

He waited until he heard steps leading away from his porch before letting out a breath, leaning against his door for a moment.

“Erwin,” your sweet voice called out.

He looked up, seeing you standing at the top of the stairs. He could see the light from the hallway illuminating, allowing him to see you standing there, still in his shirt. 

“Everything okay?” you asked, beginning to take a step down. 

He nodded his head, before placing the file on his living room table and heading towards the stairs, “Yeah, just someone dropping off a report, I’ll be up soon.”

You nodded your head, fiddling with the buttons before slowly turning your body. He could only stare as you slowly unbuttoned each and every button, before slowly lowering the shirt, revealing the top half of your naked body. You said nothing, only giving him a knowing smirk before walking to the right back to his own bedroom. 

Erwin glanced over at the report, before looking back up the stairs where you had just stood before him, enticing him. With no other thought, he left the report on the table before scaling up the stairs, making it to his bedroom, and shutting the door behind him. 

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[bylerislifelifeisbyler24]

This is for you if you don't think byler is real:

In season 4, there is a scene that Will shows Mike the painting that he made. In the note that El sent Mike she said that Will was making a painting for a “girl” because she doesn't know that Will is gay. She also said that she didn’t know what the painting looked like. On the other hand, in the van scene, Will said that El told him what to paint. Mike knows that Will is lying about the painting, but he still gave Will a smile. The duffers are very smart, so they made the lighting look like hearts in their eyes, trust me, NOTHING with The Duffers is a coincidence. The lighting is really important, even the writers said to pay attention to the lighting. In the scene when El is fighting Vecna is really important to this theory, too. This scene just feels so uncomfy because she is in pain, the lights are flickering, and everyone is worried about El’s safety. Also, why do you think that the directors put Noah [Will] in the background when Mike says “i love you” to El, if it was only about Mike and El, why was Will in the background looking like he didn’t want to even be there??? Will was also the person to push Mike to say “I love you” to El. Mike was also only able to say “I love you” to El after Will gave his speech about his love for Mike under El’s name. You can also tell by El’s face that she knows Mike doesn’t actually love her. You might think that her face was like that because she was in pain, but when Mike says that her Benny’s Burgers shirt swallowed her whole, she smiles. This shows that El does have the ability to smile in that state, she just doesn’t because she can tell that Mike is not at all trying to save their relationship.

this is one of the many slides i made on byler

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Disappointments of the Mastermind

So yeah, I at least didn't get super ultra angry at this episode even like I do now, let alone how I used to. Mostly bored and uninvested. Really, all the investment went to Satan, even if he's more red.

Anyways, I had two major disappointments in the episode and first off is Leviathan and Belphagor. I mean, come. On! Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Mammon, each one had some big ol' grand entrance for their very first appearances! Even when Mammon was already at least partially revealed on twitter or whatever, he still had the big ol' concert in the Midseason Special, with smoke and fireworks and all that. Even Satan's got something of a grand entrance in this episode, with the spotlight shining on him in the courtroom and hovering up in the air with his wings spread wide. Belphagor and Leviathan, though? They just... there. They're just sitting there with absolutely no fanfare. Even Lucifer in Hazbin Hotel got some fucking build-up to his first appearance in the show! But Belphagor and Leviathan don't even get some damn build-up, let alone a big, grand entrance!

The second disappointment was Stolas's treatment when he finally suffered consequences for his actions. You see, there's this argument that everyone's heard of by now. The one that says that both Stolas and Blitzo were in the wrong. Except this episode made me believe that even less than I already did. Here's how it went:

Blitzo, for two or three episodes straight, had brutal beatdown after beatdown, hammering in with a fucking sledgehammer how much of a shitty person he is for not wanting a relationship and for not being in love (maybe that's not accurate, not a hundred percent, but since not believing Stolas's confession is what the writers are treating as wrong, then it's not unreasonable for me to think that). No one gave any leniency, no one gave him a moment to breathe, just none of that. At until Blitzo relented to the idea that he caught feelings for that damn owl somehow

Stolas, in the meantime, got to completely gloss over the sexual coercion he did with no one even caring to know about it. When he still suffered consequences for lending out the book, as well as getting literally trashed on, Stolas was immediately comforted, protected, and taken care of after every single bad thing that happened to him. In the very first episode that shows him actually suffering as a result of his actions to boot

So yeah, when it's like that, how the fuck am I supposed to believe that both sides are equally wrong? I couldn't even enjoy the first piece of garbage thrown at Stolas because I actually knew the writing well enough by now that it wasn't going to slide or be portrayed as deserved. And sure enough, Blitz did come to his rescue. Every time. Blitz told everyone to stop with the garbage, he gave Stolas a fucking bath, and tucked into the couch and kissed him goodnight. (Side note, I legitimately felt like it was like a father taking care of a toddler. No romance was felt from those scenes. At all. And that fucking onesie that Stolas is always in as of late doesn't help). And I have a bad feeling I won't be able to enjoy Octavia severing ties with Stolas because it wouldn't be all that surprising to me if I.M.P. swooped right in and cuddling him and telling him that it'll all be okay right after Octavia slams the door on her dad

But yeah, in conclusion, even when they're suffering consequences for their actions, Blitzo and Stolas are still not being treated equally. Either Blitzo needed to be comforted and protected and taken care of just as much as Stolas had, Stolas needed to have just as many beatdowns as Blitzo did with no leniency until he finally realized something, or Blitzo and Stolas needed to have an equal amount of people in their corner and being called out with no way out of it. Those are the only ways I can ever even remotely believe that both sides were in the wrong

[greghatecrimes]

I don't think you can say house md was not homophobic even with the so called "rep" it's definitely a product of its time but you don't gotta lie and say it was more progressive than it was, you can just like the show while acknowledging it's problems. Yes, there was a bisexual character, who had countless biphobic jokes made at their expense. There was a whole episode where house and wilson talk about how weird it is for one of the nurses to date a trans woman who they call a tranny. There's a whole episode about them discovering a teen girl is intersex and house misgendering her by calling her a man the whole episode and telling her that her anger is due to the cancer she has when she becomes upset about being told she is "not really a girl" I love the show too, but every person that says the show is homophobic and transphobic is right, it's a product of its time, it still more bigoted than "progressive", and liking it even like that is not a crime or makes you a bad person. Let's not lie about what it is just because we like the show, plenty of queer people do but that doesn't make it less bigoted.

Respectfully: I don't think I'm lying at all when I say it was progressive for its time.

You're right, though, anon! It ABSOLUTELY could be bigoted, too, especially in the early seasons (specifically I'm thinking of the moments you mentioned, the one with the nurse House and Wilson discuss, and the entire episode "Skin Deep", etc.) and I can acknowledge that. I agree, it doesn't make someone a bad person to enjoy something like this show that is indeed a product of its time. But even just beyond the "rep" of having Thirteen as a canon bisexual character, the show did so much that was progressive for its time IRT: lgbt+ presence in media.

Just one example of many I could give is "The Softer Side". The entire episode "Skin Deep" is something I like to skip over, but it's not a "forgive and forget" type of thing. I don't approve of the episode and I want to hold the writers who came up with that entire thing and everyone who let it slide accountable. But three seasons later, we got "The Softer Side", written by Liz Friedman. The Softer Side's patient is a child who was born intersex, but was given gender assignment surgery at birth, and whose parents don't want him to know he's intersex. The episode handles his case with such care that I don't think a show today could really even come close to achieving. The issue was never that this kid was intersex. He's not being treated for a condition that was caused by him being intersex. Him being intersex has nothing to do with the diagnosis he gets at the end of the episode! The only reason him being intersex came up during his case is because his parents didn't want him to know, and thus told the doctors at PPTH to lie to him about testosterone he was being given (it's implied his parents had been giving it to him for at least a year/a short while iirc). And the team at PPTH (specifically Thirteen) thought that he had the right to know, that it would be good for him to know and understand this part of himself! They're supportive! The episode doesn't wave away the fact that he was given gender assignment surgery! It pushes for an acceptance of both masculine and feminine and giving people the freedom to decide for themselves, even when they are children (and not saying a child the patient's age is too young to know what he/she wants, etc.)

The way House MD and Liz Friedman handled this absofuckingloutely blows other shows portrayal of intersex people at the time out of the water. Does it make up for Skin Deep, or the t-slur comment? No. But it set a precedent for how other TV shows should handle such subject matter going forward. This is why I don't think the show as a whole is homophobic, despite having homophobic/transphobic/bigoted moments.

It's also worth noting that Liz Friedman, who wrote The Softer Side, is a lesbian herself, was a writer on Xena: Warrior Princess (an earlier example of queercoding), and was one of two LGBT writers who were in charge of writing all of Thirteen's plotlines.

[run2yew]

Rooftop.

Pairing: Hwang Hyujin/Female reader

Genre: romance, smut (minors DNI), exes to lovers, a tiny bit of angst

Word count: 6.4k words

Warnings (contains spoilers): swearing, making out, oral (fem recieving), fingering (fem recieving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), breakup topics, a bit of toxicity ngl, Hyujin and reader are both switches, they fuck on a rooftop lol

Summary: You could cut the tension with a knife, the air is so thick, it's difficult to tell if what's giving you shivers is the cold breeze or Hyujin's fingers dancing around your wrist and upper arm. Nevertheless, you try to stand your ground and keep your composure. "Let go."

Writer's note: This is actually inspired by this song and this song, so if you want to read it with them on the background just to get the vibes, i highly recommend it :). Happy reading <3

•

Party.

Tons of people.

How can such a sour scenario for some bring you so much joy?

You didn't know.

All you knew was that you wanted to enjoy it.

That was the first thing on your mind when Milli begged you to tag along with her in the first place, helping you pick the tightest dress you had and promising that it'd be good and that you'd have fun.

You did; for the first three hours, you did. All the drinking, dancing, and chatting with so many different people really did something for you and your self-esteem. You felt great; you felt happy.

Until you didn't.

Everything started to feel oddly overwhelming; you told yourself it was fine, that your social battery was probably dead, and that you just needed a minute to recharge, nothing out of the ordinary.

So that's what you did, quickly apologizing to Milli and promising her you were sober enough to walk around the huge house by yourself—and you were, an hour had passed since your last shot of alcohol. and going to find a place to clear your mind a bit. 

Now, you're basically just pacing around the house, forcing yourself to feel good, to feel better, to enjoy this moment. 

It's been two months, for God's sake.

Taking a deep breath, you gather your thoughts and decide to search for the stairs that led to the rooftop, forcing your brain to remember the instructions Minho (the owner of this gigantic apartment and one of Milli's closest friends) gave you.

You manage to do just that, finding the somehow hidden stairs that possibly led to where you wanted the most, stopping when you got to a huge glass door that showed the gorgeous city view the rooftop offered.

When you slide the door open, the cold breeze that hits you is immediate, and you shiver, releasing a short exhale and stepping into the atmosphere.

The place was beautiful; thankfully, that's all you can focus on. How the pretty fairy lights shone just like the city ones; the way the wind blew; how you could hear the loud music that was playing downstairs; and how you could see the entire city.

Perfect.

"How are people ignoring this?" You mumble to yourself, perplexed, resting on the parapet as you watch the view. 

The alcohol in your system was far gone, and you're becoming more present with every passing second. Closing your eyes, you begin taking in the "silence," feeling the cold breeze, focusing on your own breathing, and slowly feeling less anxious and more grounded, more like you.

"See? Just fine now." You speak again, reassuring yourself that you're good to head back and enjoy the rest of your night.

Slowly opening your eyes, you smooth out your dress and gather some courage, turning around to walk straight into the madness once more.

"Hi." A familiar voice says, and you jump, your heart racing furiously at the sudden appearance. A startled sound comes out of your mouth right after it.

You're supposed to calm down when you realize it's not a stranger; it's someone you know, maybe too well.

But you don't.

Your hand is still dramatically placed over your heart when you speak, trying to come down from the abrupt rush. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Your tone should sound angry, annoyed, and discontent, but it's more shaky and frustrated than anything.

"I thought you'd be happier to see me." He walks closer to you, and now that the lights are hitting him, you can see he's holding two red cups. "It's been a while."

He just had to remind you that he existed.

You and Hyujin dated for a year. You met him through Milli, at her birthday party. It was at this fancy restaurant you weren't quite familiar with; Milli had all these rich friends from her high school, and you were honestly hesitant and intimidated when she invited you. But you loved the girl to death, she is your best friend, and the differences between the two of you never affected your friendship. She insisted on buying you a dress - you felt bad, you didn't want her to spend her money on you when it was her birthday, but she wouldn't let you hear the end of it if you didn't accept it. She had the power to convince you to do the unthinkable.

When you got there, you felt a bit dislocated, but those people grew on you over time, and you found yourself opening up to them slowly throughout the dinner. 

Hyujin was an exception; he made you feel like you knew him for years the second you arrived there. He was annoying and dramatic, but it was crazy how you connected with him right away. The frenemy dynamic fits the two of you like a glove.

You spent the entire dinner sneaking little snarky comments at him; he'd make a few lighthearted jokes about you, and you'd scoff, ignoring the way your heart skipped a beat when he scooted closer to your side and whispered something about Chan being old in your ear. Everything felt natural and fluid, like you were two different pieces of a puzzle that someone decided to place together by accident but somehow worked.

It didn't take long for you to start tagging along when Milli hung out with her friends, and even though you would never say it out loud, you always hoped Hyujin would be there too.

The teasing between you two soon became less friendly, less innocent, more flirtatious and dearing, and when Jisung brought up your "ranging sexual tension" at a random party, the two of you just couldn't deny it anymore.

So you fucked in his room. 

With the door unlocked. 

While everyone was downstairs partying.

Definitely an experience.

He asked you out on a date right after, saying, "You'll fall in love with me anyway; might as well speed up the process." He said, in between pecks on your face.

Once you truly became close to him, you realized he was so much more than what he actually showed to people. He was so full of passion and so artistic, he had the most beautiful way of seeing the world. Every time he would be courageous enough to show you his paintings, drawings, and pictures, it was like you had the privilege of seeing the world through his eyes, and you fell for his way of seeing things rather quickly.

Well, you fell for him rather quickly.

Dating him was thrilling, fun, and so fucking sexy. Hyujin liked experimenting in different ways; he liked encouraging you to try different things and push your limits, and the best part was that he did it without putting pressure on you. He's probably the main reason you know what gets you going and your kinks so well; he helped you through it, and oh boy, was he good at it. He was always quick to assure you that you could stop at any point or call him out for being pushy as well.

Being with Hyujin was easy. Understanding him and feeling understood by him felt like second nature to you, going on museum dates, using taking Kkami on a walk as an excuse to get ice cream, enjoying the silence as you read a book and he paints by your side...everything was perfect. You loved it.

You loved him.

So you vocalized it, and you told him you loved him afterward. It was so sudden—a random rainy Monday took place when he texted you, saying he had something to give you. He gave you the most beautiful painting you've ever seen—a painting of you at the park, holding Kkami with a huge smile on your face—the day you met his parents.

You felt the tears forming, and you couldn't hold them back as you whispered softly, "I love you." 

It comes easily to you; you grew up in an affectionate family where saying you loved each other was common, so you carried that throughout your entire life. You always told your friends you loved them when you felt the feeling bubble up inside you, and even though some of them didn't feel "ready" to say it, you knew they felt the same. 

Because to you, if you love someone, you tell them. 

But Hyujin didn't love you. 

He didn't say it back; he just nodded and gave you a forceful smile, pulling you close before wiping the tears away from your face. You stiffened; you were petrified that you said something wrong, but you decided to stay just like that, being held by him.

He spent the rest of the night weirdly silent, only talking when talked to.

The next day, he left without saying goodbye. You woke up to an empty bed and a small note with an apology; you figured he just had to rush for something.

But three days passed and he was still weird, three days became six, and you were already starting to panic. He was avoiding you in every possible way.

You felt like you ruined it, like you ruined your perfect, happy, and healthy relationship by vocalizing how you felt.

It hurt so bad, and when you called him to try to convince him to meet up so you could discuss it, he cut you off by saying he "didn't think it was going to work out." You crumbled into pieces on top of your bed. 

It was like your world was shattered, and you couldn't piece together any of the words he said after that.

Hyujin was breaking up with you right after you told him you loved him, and that was the only thing on your mind.

He never gave you a proper explanation either; he just ran around in circles and apologized for feeling the way he was feeling, which only fueled your sadness and anger more. You cried for hours—for two days straight. To your relief, you had the most amazing people by your side during the breakup; they helped you build yourself back up.

Hyujin didn't need to love you, he didn't have to. He just needed to say something to make you stay. 

He didn't.

Slowly but surely, you picked up your pieces and did your best to go on with your life, even though you've never been that brokenhearted. 

The stinging pain that you felt in your chest every time you'd see something that reminded you of him slowly went away, or maybe you just got used to it. It didn't hurt anymore.

A month passes, and that's when you decide to go to your first party after the breakup, a medium one at Yeonjun's house. It was nice, nothing too much, but the thought of maybe running against Hyujin haunted you, preyed on you. 

You probably attracted it, and the moment you locked eyes with Hyujin again is still unforgetable; there was so much need and want in his eyes as if he were saying "Please" without opening his mouth. 

He was the first to break the barrier between the two of you and grab you by the waist, rushing out of the party without exchanging a single word with you, and honestly, you didn't feel like talking to him.

The whole ride to his house was completely silent, and when you finally got there and he opened the door, it was like a switch had been flipped as he pulled you by the neck and attached your lips.

All you could think about was how much you missed him and how much you loved him.

Hell, you should've pushed him away before it was too late, but resisting his touch didn't seem like an option at the time. 

The way he fucked you was different too; he wasn't just fucking you; he was making love to you in a way he had never done before. It was overwhelming, to say the least, and though you felt good, it still stung, but it also sparked hope inside of you. 

Maybe he did want you back; maybe he did love you.

But you woke up the next day to the same familiar note.

"Let's forget about this." 

So you storm out of his apartment, crying like the stupid person you were for believing in him, thinking he'd want something more with you, thinking he had changed. But he didn't, and you hated that.

That's when you started hating him.

"What do you want?" You question impartiality, crossing your arms in front of your torso.

"To see you." He puts it simply, taking another step closer to you as you lean back to rest on the glass parapet.

This fucking asshole

Oh, you hate him. And the way he's so calm and collected, as if this whole situation doesn't affect him at all, is reminding you of that. He's still the same smug little piece of shit that dumped you and used you.

Your brain is screaming at you to leave, but your body seems incapable of complying with that wish, even when you can nearly feel the hatred you have for him curse through your veins.

"Hyujin, if you think I'm making the same dumb mistake twice, it's not going to happen." You affirm.   Grounding yourself in where you stood and watching his smirk disappear into nothing, like he just now understood you're serious.

He scuffs: "Oh, so we're calling a mistake now?" "Such a pleasant one, though, wasn't it?" A pout forms on his lips, and you want to punch it right out of him, especially now that you've started boxing. You want to watch him groan in pain as his nose bleeds.

Okay, maybe you have a problem.

"Pleasant to who?" You ask, shoulder going up and down in question, batting your eyelashes, trying to hold back the smile that wanted to come out.

Hyujin lets out a single sharp laugh at that, shaking his head in denial, "You know how good that was, don't be so fucking stubborn."

"Stubborn?  You break up with me over the phone, come back, sleep with me, and tell me it was "nothing" afterwards. Now you're interrupting my very precious alone time, and I'm in the wrong?" 

Leave; you need to leave; you're showing too much emotion, this is what he wants—a reaction out of you.

"I hope you're fucking miserable." You spit, nearly storming past him, bumping against his tall figure in the process, and heading straight to the glass doors.

"You didn't seem to hurt that much when you fucked Jisung." He argues, his voice rising, but you feel his tone shake for the first time in this conversation.

Oh no.

He didn't say that.

You stop mid-motion, your grip on the door handle is so tight it hurts. The anger that burns inside of you fuels you completely.

"What?."  You all but whisper, still facing the door, completely incredulous. There's absolutely no way he's telling you this when he was the one sleeping with Felix four weeks after you broke up.

"You heard me." He adds.

You breathe in, eyes narrowing. This is all calculated to get a reaction out of you. You spin on your heel to face him in pure disbelief at the words that just came out of his mouth.

"You're joking, right? Cause you have to be." 

He doesn't answer, of course; that wasn't his thing; giving actual answers and talking through things wasn't in his dictionary. But the way his gaze is piercing through you speaks for itself.

"Wake the fuck up, Hyujin. We're not together anymore; I can do whatever I fucking want." You grumble, louder than you intend to. "I can sleep with all of your friends if I feel like it."

You can see Hyujin's jaw clench at the idea, you know him so well you can read past every reaction of his. He nervously licks his lips, trying to keep his head up and not lose his confident demeanor, but you can see him crumbling, struggling to get the idea out of his head, unable to meet your eyes.

"Slut." He murmurs, eyes rolling, hands resting on his sides.

When you laugh, nodding simply, Hyujin's eyelids twitch, his anger growing further. His words are meant to hurt you, you think. But they don't.

"Well, yes."  You agree, and now it is your turn to step forward, suddenly getting an idea. "Just not for you anymore. Not your slut."

This has never happened before, usually, you're the one to run away from his gaze, you're the one that nervously stumbles over your own words and can't seem to escape his heady scent and gorgeous face. 

You were the one to tell him you loved him first, only to be pushed away right after.

Now, you've got him in the palm of your hand, and he knows it too. All this power you suddenly had felt too good. So you take another step, and another, and another. Until he's basically within arm's reach.

"I fucking hate you so much for what you did to me, Hyujin." You sharply point, raising your index finger at him, gently tapping his chest, an action that contradicts your bitter tone.

"Should've done it worse, so you would learn not to fuck my friends." He comes closer, forcing you to look up at him in order to meet his eyes.

"Jisung didn't seem bothered by it when he was over me." You shrug, turning back to walk away again, and leave him hanging at that. But Hyujin has different plans, his hand flies to your wrist, holding with a strong grip, and turning you back to him.

"Careful." He warns before tracing your wrist with his fingers, grip so fucking strong it hurts. But you're not backing down, you can't.

You could cut the tension with a knife, the air is so thick, and it's difficult to tell if what's giving you shivers is the cold breeze or Hyujin's fingers dancing around your wrist and upper arm. Nevertheless, you try to stand your ground and keep your composure. "Let go." 

"No." He steps dangerously close again, and you hiss, sealing your lips.

"Hyujin, I'm going to warn you one more time-"

He leans in to kiss you in a heartbeat, and you curse yourself internally for melting so quickly into his touch, his lips are so soft, and it's like your body is screaming, "I miss this; I miss him." You're perfectly connected, like pieces of a puzzle.His hands move to your waist, hugging you close like you could slip away at anytime.

Which you do, preventing him from deepening the kiss by pulling away in a second and pushing your body away from him. Failing when he pushes you back with a strong hand around your waist.

"Hyujin, let go of me. I'm not doing this." You warn, and fuck, you sound so breathless from just a kiss, it's humiliating.

His gaze softens, his brows furrow, and you catch a glimpse of something you've never did before: regret. His hand moves softly to cup your face, his thumb tracing your cheeks. "You don't mean that."

"Exactly." You admit it, slamming his hand away from you. "That's why I'm trying to get away from you as soon as I can, because I can't do this anymore I-"

"I love you." He confesses, voice shaking, eyes watery.

Oh my fucking God.

"Hyujin...please." 

"It's true. I guess I've always loved you. But I was so scared to vocalize it; the thought of telling you I loved you and then you leaving me was... terrifying." He speaks quickly, stumbling over his words and shutting his eyes forcefully.

"So you left me first?" you ask, crossing your arms.

"I left you because I was scared you'd do the same to me when our relationship began to grow past the surface. I thought you'd jump off when you saw my true colors, my insecurities..."

You feel like you're about to burst, your legs get wobbly, and your mind spins.

Why are you only hearing this now?

"Hyujin I would never leave you for that. I cared about you so much. I'd do anything to make you feel better." You step closer to him, growing soft and gentle, just like you promised you wouldn't.

"I know that now. But I didn't at the time, so I acted stupid all because of my fucking abandonment issues, and then you left, and I just watched you leave twice, and today... I couldn't watch that anymore, after the day at that party, everything clicked to me, I knew I belonged with you. I knew I loved you" Hyujin really looks at you, as if he's grasping at your soul. There's this prominent hint of vulnerability in him that you've never seen before.

Is so sincere, different from what you're used to seeing in him. You wonder if you're just falling into his tricks again.

"You can't just walk into my life again like nothing happened!"

"I'm not trying to. I wanna make things better; I wanna earn you; I wanna start over."

"I don't think that's possible." You admit, shrugging, attempting to push away your intrusive thoughts screaming at you, just try, he regrets this, try again.

"I just need one chance. Please, I really do love you, I can make it up to you. You won't regret this." He uncrosses your arms, holding both of your hands and fondly interlocking your fingers together.

"I regretted it last time..." You sigh. The bitter thoughts of thinking he wanted to start again, to be different, came rushing back. The shattering feeling of being alone in that bed. It killed you.

"This isn't like last time. This is different. I understand how I feel now. I am in love and trying to fix things."

You hate how honest he sounds.

"Why are you only telling me this now? I gave you plenty of chances in the past."

"Because I'm a coward. And I was afraid, too, and I was trying to wrap my head around the information, just like you're doing now."

You shake your head, ready to let go of his hands, but he pulls you back to him, looking deep inside your eyes when you notice his own are teary, like he's on the verge of tears. You've never seen him cry in the past two years that you've known him.

"Just one more chance." He pleads shakily as tears escape from the left sides of his eyes. He takes in your expression so fondly, eyes shining with hope but filled with sadness—it's all new to you. Hyujin was never the one to let you know what he was feeling so directly. You were the one to confess; you were the one to confront him, you were the one that fell back into him.

He leans to rest his forehead against yours, and you close your eyes. feeling what it is like to be this connected to him again. "Please." He repeats.

It's all it takes for you to pull him into a tight hug, wrapping your arms around his figure and allowing him to fall apart in your embrace. He does, sobbing lightly.

You waited so long to hear him say these words, and part of you thought they'd never come out of him. It's hard to believe it, and you might be dumb for this, but you want to believe it. You want to believe him.

"If you screw this up, I'm going to kill you." You whisper against his ear, and he chuckles, sniffing and pulling away to wipe his tears. 

"I'm not joking." You playfully warn, swatting his arm.

"I'd die happy in your arms." He shrugs, and you snort, rolling your eyes, suddenly feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, the tension still lingering, just differently now.

"Shut up." 

That's when he closes the distance between you, pulling you to him by your waist like he always loved to do. You missed it. It's undeniable.

Please, Hyujin, don't make me regret this tomorrow morning.

He's kissing you tenderly, lovingly, and attentively. It contrasts from how he used to kiss you before—there's no rush, no hurry, just an utter and pure feeling as his arms hug your waist so tightly and your hands wrap around his neck easily, like they know they're supposed to, without you even thinking about it.

When you finally open your mouth, giving him access to bring his tongue to dance along yours, a sigh of relief leaves you. It's like your bodies were made for each other, made to connect.

Hyujin's hands quickly move to your waist, rubbing soft circles there with the pads of his fingers, the kiss turns feverish within a second, and it doesn't take long for you to run your fingers through his very soft hair, tugging on the strands with need.

You pull away when your lungs are screaming, nearly giving out, and stare at him, his plump, swalled lips and dark sparkling eyes affecting you more than they should.

Without thinking, you grab him by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against the huge couch and sitting on top of him.

"You're so gorgeous, it literally hurts me." He adds, looking up at you with eyes full of adoration.

"Same." You simply put, kissing him again.

Your hands skillfully move to remove his leather jacket, pushing the fabric off his shoulders and throwing it somewhere. Your senses are filled with him—his smell, his touch, his presence. It's almost asphyxiating; you hope it doesn't kill you.

"I love you." he says, moving to place kisses all over your neck. You moan, throwing your head back, when he sucks and bites on the skin. "I missed you so fucking much."

"Missed you too.." You can't gather the courage to tell him you love him back, not when all of that happened, not when you're still... wondering.

"I'm going to make you feel so good, gonna make you know how much I love you." He leaves a trail of saliva along your jawline, squeezing your tights so harshly that it draws a whimper out of you.

"Fuck, just...please."

"You want it here? Where anyone could see?" He's rubbing your inner thigh now, so close to where you need him the most.

You nod, and you wish you could say it's the booze talking, but you haven't drank anything in a two hours. You're just that careless.

With a single motion, Hyujin flips the two of you. Your back hits the couch, and your head is met with a soft pillow. Hyujin is now on top of you, smirking. Your dress has ridden up completely, exposing your panties.

"You're so pretty, I was such a fucking idiot." He lifts your dress further, kissing your belly, and you squirm under him. 

"Hyujin..."

"Patience. I need to take my sweet time with you, hm? I want to redeem myself." 

"You can redeem yourself quickly." 

At that, he laughs, giving you a playful slap on the inner thigh and softly licking the flesh.Your chest rises and falls so heavily that it feels like you've been out of air for ages. You're arching your back, opening your legs further, trying to get him to finally get to where you need him.

But Hyujin was a tease in every possible way. He liked to drag out every touch; he liked to see you struggle and squirm and fall apart for him, he liked to see you beg.

That's it.

He liked to see you beg.

"Hyujin, please, missed you so much, really want you, need you. Please."

He looks up at you, eyes narrowing, and you see his expression darken completely. He tugs at your panties so fast you barely feel them, and you have no time to process before he's already diving into your cunt, licking every aching part of you. 

It feels so good, so delicious, and he has always been the best at giving head - especially after a day, on your birthday, when he wanted you to teach him exactly how you liked it. - he furiously sucks on your clit and you moan loudly, there's no way people can hear you from where you are - and if they do, you don't care.

His tongue is moving so fucking artfully against you, you're already desperate—that it has your eyes rolling back to the top of your head and your hands clasping his hair and pulling hard, just as you know he likes it. He lets out an approving groan, and you push his head back to your middle, already missing the contact.

When he's back at it, his hunger goes up by a hundred percent. 

You might go fucking crazy.

"F-fuck Hyujin, how the fuck did you get even b-better at this?" You stutter.

He chooses that exact moment to push his fingers inside of you, and at the same time, you clench immediately, struggling to hold back the growing urge to fuck yourself on his fingers.

"Holy shit Hyujin your mouth, you're so good, so good to me."

You feel yourself on the brink of your high as Hyujin does something with his mouth that has you nearly screaming—but also, where the fuck did he learn that? -  Regardless, it has you shaking, unable to stop moaning his name, begging him to keep going, and crying out inconsistently.

"Oh my, fuck, Hyujin, fuck, fuck, yes, yes, yes." 

He curves his fingers, and you swear you see fucking stars when he hits that spot inside of you, it's when you break apart completely, pushing your entire body forward, moaning his name so loudly it scratches your throat.

Hyujin coaxes you through your orgasm, and when you're - finally, cause it took a while - coming down, he leaves a trail of soft pecks on your clit, chuckling when you shut your legs, still sensitive.

"Holy crap I don't think I've ever... gosh, Hyujin, that might have been one of the best orgasms I've ever had in my entire life."

He bursts out laughing, sitting back on your side and kissing your cheek lovingly.

"You're so easy to impress." 

"You call that easy?" 

"I mean, I've done better."

You smirk, yes, he has. Five months ago, at the beach house But this was a close second.

"Fair." You shrug. "That was so, so good though." You move closer to him, carefully moving your hand to his thigh.

"Yeah?."

"Yeah." You let your hand fall over his - painfully hard - dick, closing your hand around him, his breath catches.

"Shit."

As you softly stroke him, you begin, "Can I ride you, Jinnie?"

You don't want to laugh, but it's hard not to when you literally feel his cock twitch with that simple nickname you haven't used in months.

"You're so naughty." He says, holding you with both hands and placing you on his lap. So much for being in control, you think. "Didn't even let me make it up to you, talk to you properly, before jumping on me like a needy bunny." 

"I mean, you said it before. I'm a slut." 

"My slut." He adds. "Just for me."

"Let's see about that." You argue, pulling him into a searing kiss, slowly grinding down on his hard length, his breath catching in the process.

His hands move to your ass, squeezing harshly, the kiss is messy, with lots of tongue just how you like it. It has you moaning against his mouth and rolling your hips even more furiously.

Quickly, you begin to take off his belt, unbuttoning his pants with hungry eyes and a lick of lips.

Hyujin smirks at you, stopping you mid-motion. "Needy, aren't you?"

"Been a while." You admit, holding yourself up with your knees and pulling his jeans down.

Hyujin doesn't question, he just lets you work and lets you use him. You can see by the look in his eyes that he is dying to make you feel good, but all you can think about is making him a mess. You want him to know there's no one better for him than you, there's no way he could forget you. 

"Clean?." You tilt your head in question.

"Yes. You?."

"Yeah, and on the pill."

He leans in to peck your lips.

"Perfect." When you start to tease him at your entrance and watch the sight of his head thrown back and eyes forced shut, you know you're doing just that. You sink into him slowly, cautiously, it's been a good while since you've been with Hyujin, and he's not exactly...small. 

Once you sink in completely, you can feel every inch of him opening you up, stretching you so nicely that a loud moan leaves you right away. 

"Shit, you're so tight....so warm." He shakily adds.

You're so needy that you have no time to adjust before subconsciously rocking your hips against him, eventually bouncing up and down in a rhythm you know drives him crazy. 

Hyujin is already an utter mess under you, shaking, mouth agape, and looking so fucked out before you've even started to do anything. He's right where you want him.

"Holy fucking crap! Wait. I-I might need a moment." He grips your hips, harshly digging his nails into your skin to keep you steady.

Chuckling, you nod your head and wait for a minute or two. Hyujin always loved this position more than you did, but you can't say it doesn't do wonders for your ego to see this hell of a man go insane just from feeling you like this. He's so close already, it makes you want to do more.

"It's okay, Jinnie, I'm here. You're alright." You soothe, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Can I move now?"

"Yeah, just...slowly?." His eyes are sparkling, and his voice is covered in honey, his hair is a mess, and his lips are swollen. He is definitely a sight.

"Of course, baby." You feel his cock twitch inside of you again from the nickname, and you smile to yourself before rocking into him, slower, but harder.

This time it builds, and Hyujin moves an efficient hand to work on your clit while you bounce on him with such vigor, you can't believe you're actually doing this in the middle of a rooftop. But right now, the thought of it seems to make you even wetter. Eventually his lips meet yours halfway with sloppy but deep trusts, and you have to hold on to his shoulders to ground yourself, feeling lost in pleasure. Senses filled with Hyujin, Hyujin, Hyujin.

"So good, oh my God, so good. I missed you so much, was so stupid of me to let you go. I love you."

You clench at his words, and he notices it. Looking up at you with a smile, not even an ounce of a smirk, he brings his hands to lift your dress and props one of your hardened nipples on his mouth, sucking deftly.

"You like it when I tell you this, don't you? You're so hot. I love you so much, I'm gonna stay with you for a fucking life time. Gonna be with you forever, I want you so bad I can't believe I have you again."

"H-Hyujin, don't fucking say that, shit..."

The knot inside of you only grows and grows, and even with the aching of your thighs and tiring legs, you can't stop moving against him in such a lewd way. You want to cum so badly, you're going crazy.

But Hyujin knows you too well; he notices the signs, and his thrusts begin to get sharper, faster, and deeper, hitting a spot inside you you haven't felt in fucking ages, which drives a loud mewl out of you.

"That's it, just don't stop, fuck- Hyujin, it feels so good, I'm so full; you fill me up so well." 

You're going to snap, you're going to snap anytime soon, and you need him to do it with you. 

"I love you, Hyujin, I love you so much. There's no one that can fuck me like you do, no one that can love me like you do." You're completely drunk in pleasure, not fully aware of the words that are coming out of you, but they linger there, coming from such a vulnerable place.

"Fuck, if you say that, I'm gonna fucking cum." 

"Do it w-with me,  I-I'm so close, Jinnie, so close."

It only takes a few drag out circles on your clit and you're convulsing on top of him, crying out his name twice as loudly as you did before, tears threatening to escape as he continues to fuck you out through your high. It doesn't take long for him to paint your walls, kissing you furiously and whimpering a few thank yous and I love yous against your chest. It feels so good, almost too good to be true.

You stay like that for a moment, holding each other, feeling the heavy breathing steady itself, hearts pounding in unison.

Then clarity hits you, and you realize that you did, in fact, fuck with your ex for the second time. on a rooftop.

"Hyujin?" you say, gently running your fingers through his hair.

"Yeah?."

"Did you really mean all of that?"

"Of course I did, my love."

You want to cry.

"I'm so sorry. For everything that I did and for the things I said today, I was angry at myself and couldn't find the words, so I just...blamed it all on you." He adds.

"I know you are. You're just going to have to prove it."

"I'm dating you so hard, starting tomorrow."

"Sure, but first, your apartment? I need a shower, and maybe... round two?"

"You're insatiable."  He chuckles, lovingly biting on your shoulder.

-----------------------------------

You wake up the next day alone on his bed, with no note.

The smell of pancakes fills your nose, and you smile brightly when you hear the familiar humming of lyrics coming from the kitchen.

It's hard to believe it.

You're wearing Hyujin's shirt, covered in his scent, while you tiptoe to the kitchen and meet the sight of him, apparently making breakfast for the two of you. 

When his eyes find yours, he gives you the widest, most sincere smile—one that warms you from the inside out. 

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." 

"You're here." You say, eyes teary.

"I told you I would be, you make me want to stay."

You run to hug him, and he quickly catches you, allowing you to wrap your legs around him as he holds you tight.

"I love you."

"I love you more. Thank you for giving me a chance."

Feel free to reblog and comment on this with your feedback, or send me an anon or ask, I'm always open to it and I'd appreciate it a lot! <3

[ancaporado]

Ok I need to go on a rant about show tunes. They're objectively bad. Don't worry, I've heard a lot of them, I even played in the pit for my high school theater and I still hate show tunes. 1.The lyrics are cringey, basically just dialogue or literal exposition of the story. I do like concept albums, in fact I think the idea of using music to tell a story is great, but making your characters constantly RHYME to speak to one another is absolutely insane as it takes away the characters ability to speak in their own voice. The linear progression of story telling also means that the lyrics rarely repeat, often as a song goes on a chorus allows for the listener to reinterpret the previous verses and anticipate new ones, we rarely get such a break in show tunes. this almost means that we get explicit character names, places, and events in our lyrics which lacking context completely jar a listener. 2.Singing is bad. Essentially it's modern opera, so I get that it started with lots of projection and vibrato, but let's be real you no longer have to do that with lapel microphones. We can have dynamic volume and annunciation. These people have grown up their whole lives singing with piano accompaniment and it shows in the tin-like nasal annunciation they sing. Even the best broadway singer would instantly butcher any other genre as they barely slide notes or usually can't hold notes WITHOUT vibrato, nor do they get through distorted vocals without simply getting raspy. 3.Instrumentation. To be fair, musicals have been getting a little better about incorporating stuff besides classic accompaniment but basically whenever they do they attempt it as a genre piece, and end up completely cliche as the genre is concern. Outside of the narcissisms of the writers or actors, the MUSIC is never the focus of the song. 4. No genre or originality. I would say Grease and Rocky Horror are perfect examples of this in that basically they are simply 4 chord progression covers of a well established genres that are extremely easy to churn out. If you know a little music theory you could write a "blues" or "rock" or "jazz" musical in an afternoon. Even when it's done no song from a musical can stand on it's own against MUSIC written for the purpose of just being listened too. If you were to have a blind listening test for anyone trained in any amount of music they could pick out a "musical" song nearly 99% of the time. Most "Musical" music is to normal music what Christian Rock is to rock, the music is entirely secondary to an agenda.

5.Arrangement. Very little thought is usually put into the arrangement of the of songs, as nothing besides the voice of the actors can really take up much time in the melody so why bother. Interesting sounds, instruments, or melodic and harmonic ideas are just a distraction to the performance. Outside of backing there's little required of most musicians to preform these pieces, and half the time it sounds like a church band or high school choir for this reason. Improvisation, instrumental solos, or a breakdown are either rare or completely unimaginative in structure. 6. Chord progressions are all basic to the point that the "halfway through a song key step as a way to mix it up a little bit because we got more exposition in the lyrics as we go from point a to b as we do a 4 chord progression that is getting boring" is a thing in pretty much every musical. So anyways in conclusion, musicals suck, are completely stagnant as a "genre". They are written by and for a strange kind of narcissistic person who needs to constantly hear a very loud voice telling them a story with comforting non-dangerous music that's really only there to help set a little bit of mood for whatever tacky costume and choreography is supposed to be happening on stage. If you listen to show tunes for fun outside of actually watching a stage production you probably should be institutionalized. If, even worse, you make other people listen to them on a PA system while at a retail or work situation you should be euthanized. Don't send me your favorite "this is musical music but it's good because it avoids the reasons you said above" as it still sucks for another reason I didn't remember while typing this.

[steve-needs-a-hug]

"Streaming is a challenge to serialized storytelling in that it looks at 'content' often with a different agenda and uses metrics that can take a creative issue and exacerbate it. Like in broadcast, if viewership and thus ad revenue has slightly declined, the show will ned to find a way to make their 22 or 13 episodes on a proportionally smaller budget. What is not done is reduce episode order. But if a streaming series underperforms or doesn't meet expectations, an the streamer doesn't cancel it outright, the go-to budget reduction idea is to reduce episode order for the next season. When you just have 8 episodes and continue to deal with notes to compress, pace up, or omit for what you'd scripted for a longer season, reducing further to six or four episodes is exhausting.

This happens due to a slide in autonomy from what the showrunner position has been. What the chatter on the picket lines revealed to us is that most showrunners today don't get to see their own show's budget, and thus don't get the freedom to make budgetary decisions that could better protect the story they're telling. More and more, showrunners not at a legacy network aren't the final say or at times even involved in hiring key roles. I don't have any ideas that aren't already in contract language, I just see how the job on this side has gotten harder and there isn't much of a way for us to make it easier for each other like we could with having writers on set or in post production, because the streaming model has made that impossible."

- Eric Heisserer, creator, screenwriter, and executive producer of Netflix's Shadow & Bone in a Q&A about the potential future of the show

(Shadow & Bone was abruptly canceled by Netflix after 2 widely successful seasons.)

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You guys really liked this little post just to tell my followers why I was busy, so here's a little bit more information for those who might not know, and a little of my own personal experience:

Yesterday I graduated from Boston University, and about two weeks before our commencement ceremony we were told that our speaker was to be David Zaslav. Zaslav is the CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery, and one of the main people who the WGA (Writers Guild of America) are striking against currently. Zaslav got paid $39.3 million last year alone.

One of my lovely besties and roommate (found here on the fifth slide of the Boston Globe) was the president of the BU YDSA (Young Democratic Socialists of America) and they went right to work. They had a letter writing campaign going to let the university know we were displeased. In my personal experience, everyone I talked to was upset about it (granted, I do keep a fairly based crowd around me). The reaction to the announcement at senior breakfast was very tepid, and people kept mentioning it at parties and classes. Everyone I heard said they were disappointed and wished there was something to do.

The BU YDSA got in contact with WGA East and the Boston chapter of the DSA and they coordinated the picket that resulted. The YDSA held a cap decorating event, wrote up a chant list, and posted constantly about standing and turning your back to Zaslav when he gave his speech. This is what we did.

Actual commencement (which was hot and sweaty as fuck), was pretty fine. Ketanji Brown Jackson was a major highlight, and received almost deafening applause and a standing ovation. I had heard many people comment that they were upset that she didn't deliver our speech. Another huge highlight was the plane that flew circles over us for about 30-45 minutes, displaying its lovely "David Zaslav - pay your writers" banner which everyone appreciated.

I know me, the friends I was sitting with, and the people we heard around us spent the entire ceremony waiting for Zaslav to come out. The girl behind me (the girl in the ew, David hat) was like "is he coming, is that him," five or six times which was very funny.

When he did come out, the booing was the loudest it would be the whole time. About twenty students walked out from what I heard. I can't tell you how many of us stood up because I couldn't see much from where I was, but I can tell you that even more people were showing decorated caps, chanting along with us, and booing loudly. I think the pictures show a few of us when the displeasure felt like it came from the large majority. One guy a few rows behind me took his chair, fully spun it around, and sat down facing the other way. The ew, David girl behind me told people "if you believe in it, stand!" The majority of the speech was people starting up chants or screaming insults at particularly funny moments, which is why I was laughing in that video lol. At one point a guy a few rows ahead of me tried to start a chant "don't ruin my graduation" at us but he did not get any fellow chanters.

Zaslav mentioned famed union buster and all around d-bag Jack Welch as an inspiration and a mentor, which my Dad clocked and noted at five miles away. Zaslav described himself as never letting anyone work harder than him, used struggling at tennis and then getting a famous tennis player as a mentor as an example of struggle and perseverance, and even said he personally hated writing when he was doing it. He also drew a lot of confusion from my lovely friends beside me for saying "Go to your sons baseball game. Go to your friends dads funeral," which made my delightful friend Sandya beside me eloquently say "What the fuck does that mean?"

My parents and my brother all immediately told me the speech to them seemed intentionally antagonistic, and that Zaslav seemed to be enjoying it. My dad insists there is no other reason he would mention the word write about like 20 times.

As someone on the BU reddit so succinctly put it today, "What did yall achieve tho? ... Seems like nothing was done. Just got some superficial news stories that will do nothing to anybody's reputation."

The amount of people I've seen on the BU reddit, and in my personal life who are now aware of the strike because of the protest is astonishing to me. They are asking questions, they are engaged, and even more importantly, they are following the strike and paying attention to the issue. Even if only one person took something away and learned from it, then it was worth it. Solidarity forever, here are some fun BU reddit screenshots of student thoughts, mine are in red:

Okay I’m back home and I’m back in business babes. I was BUSy.

Das me.

[givemethepage]

Layers of Fear 2023, The Actor's Story: Chapter 4

Remember Livejournal where you could put spoilers behind the cut? Well I don't know if I can do that here.

Anyway. Honestly I'm not sure what happened in the literal events of the siblings. Crew found their lost food bag, realized there were kids on board. They had been riled up because of rationing due to the missing food, and an inference had been laid down earlier that the hunger had made the crew bad at their jobs, leaving the ship prone to accidents. So when they find out there are stowaways, they send this lady out to find them. Sister tells little one to go hide. She continues the search for food, and I guess she's inevitably caught.

This is where it all gets blown to shit and I lose my grip. I can't tell if the sister killed this lady? But the lady goes missing. So does the sister. It's assumed that the lady fell overboard accidentally until the quartermaster, (the real one this time, not the kid in a roleplay, UNLESS??) finds the lady's body and "discreetly" throws it overboard, calling the kids monsters and giving up the hunt for them.

After this it gets real abstract. The kid is blaming themself for the sister's loss, imagining her voice berating them, crying out. They can't find her. It's all their fault, they think. AND THERE'S A LIGHTHOUSE.

Enter Rat Queen, playing all meek and subservient. Obviously a trick. But the kid is alone and hears her voice asking for help, so they free 7 lost rat souls which I guess feeds her enough to fully allow her to take hold in this kid. That finally gives them the courage to go I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW, face down the formless, and claim an identity.

Pretty quickly the kid realizes the Rat Queen is full of shit, but it's too late. That's when she's like "see writer? Can't do anything without me." And the kid looks behind the Rat Queen statue, with a figurative "WHAT'S IN THE BOOOOX" scene, revealing the sister's (or the young sibling's?) head. The hair on this head actually has a very similar silhouette to the shadow I found of my own character model in chapter 2. But regardless, this is a no good very bad day, and the director is all smug.

When I get back to the cabin, it's clear the ship sank. The slides say it, the paper says it, and everyone's at the bottom of the ocean. A Flame, MUCH LIKE THE FLAME OF TALENT IN MY HEART, THE SPARK OF MY SISTER'S BRAVERY THE DIRECTOR SAID I COULD NOT POSSESS, ignited the boiler and blew a hole in the ship. I can't read the note from my agent or the director or whatever. It's all crazy. I have two more strange objects in my collection with one to go, I have one empty slot on the slide deck, and I have two blank poster spots left in addition to the one I missed from chapter 2. I found a red lady shoe with the telescope and it did show up in my room, unlike the last 2 objects. I honestly didn't know there would be a full chapter 5, I thought it would be an epilogue, so for a second I thought I missed my chance to pick up all this stuff. Phew.

[sweetsweetjellybean]

In the cold November rain Part 4

Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader Steve Harrington/Fem!Reader Ao3

TW: Story runs congruent to events in the show. If you know what happens in season 4, then you'll know how this will end.*Be warned.* 18+ Eventually Smut, Angst, High School Fuckery, Drinking, Drugs Let me know if I miss any.

Can you have two great loves in a lifetime?

You've had the ideal childhood in Hawkins with your best friend & protector Steve Harrington. When it's ripped away, can you pick up the pieces? Eddie Munson may be able to help. 

Part 4/12? Masterlist

Sincerest & Eternal Thanks To @loveshotzz A magnificent writer & phenomenal human who sparked my Eddie love. I never would have posted this without her.

Inspired by @loveshotzz & notes by @eddieandbird

That's how you wound up back in the band room. Steve broke your heart and thanks to Carol, the entire school knew. A good portion is likely celebrating your fall from grace. You skip the rest of your morning classes, hiding from everyone, you slide down the cinder block wall behind the balcony set from Romeo and Juliet. Sitting on the cold floor with your knees pulled up to your chest, crying, mourning the loss of your entire world. When you lose one friend, it hurts. When you lose all your friends in a single day, it's devastating. But losing Steve ripped you apart. You’ve never felt so alone. Life without him was never a possibility you had considered. You didn't know who you were without him.

"Of course," you say as Eddie Munson slides down the wall beside you.

"I'm happy to see you too, Princess."

"Are you here to gloat? I'm glad my life-ending circumstances can be a source of amusement for you."

"Don't take your shit out on me. I'm not here to be anyone's punching bag." Eddie warns.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. You're the only one left that will talk to me."

"That's the spirit, Princess. Put me in my place. Make sure I know I'm your last resort." He sets his lunch box on his lap and pops it open.

"God, I really am awful, aren't I?" You rest your head against the wall.

"Eh, you're not so bad." He keeps his eyes on the joint he's rolling. "But this is becoming a habit. Twice is my limit for damsels in distress. If I see you crying again, I might have to do something stupid like kiss you."

"Stop trying to make me feel better." You say, looking at him. "I'm trying to be sad here."

He lights up and inhales. "I'm ready. Tell me the real story. I've heard the rumors."

"You don't believe Jackie?" He laughs and chokes on his smoke.

"Fuck no. I might be dumb, but I'm not a fool."

"I don't think you're either." You give him a little smile. He's watching your face now. It's almost unnerving. It's as if he can see more than you willingly reveal.

"I hope his dick falls off." You turn your head away.

"It might. She's slept with everyone, and I do mean everyone."

Now you're the one looking at him. He raises his eyebrows. "What? I get it where I can, Princess."

"Oh, gross. Don't tell me anymore." You hold your hand up in front of him.

"So what happens now? Are you moving in here? I'm not great with pets. I might not remember to feed you every day?"

"What do you suggest?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. You have to figure out your own shit. But if it was me in your situation, I say fuck 'em."

"Fuck 'em?"

"Yeah. Fuck 'em." He waves his fist in the air. "You don't want their pity. Make sure they know they're beneath you." He stands. "Stand up. Come on, stand up. I've got other crying girls waiting for me. You're not special." You take his hand to stand. He wipes the tears of your cheeks and straightens your shoulders. Then pretends to adjust your imaginary crown, which makes you smile. He uses his index finger to gently raise your chin, so your head is high in the air. "There. You're all better." He runs his hand along your cheek. "I'll see you around, Princess."

"Thanks for rescuing me, Sir Eddie...Again."

He drops into a dramatic bow, then turns and heads out the door. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more."

***

You take a deep breath before entering the lunch room. The people at your usual table don't turn to look at you, refusing to meet your eyes. Except Jackie, of course, she's sitting next to Steve, staring at you with a smug grin. You hold your head high as you walk down the center aisle with your brown bag lunch. You take a seat at the empty corner of the Hell Fire table. Your name is flying around the room in low murmurs. Opening your bag, you pull out your sandwich and unwrap the wax paper. The loud conversation that usually going on at this table has stopped. Your head turns to find Eddie's brown eyes watching you. You hold his gaze, but neither one of you says a word. The corner of his mouth turns up the tiniest bit before he launches back into conversation with friends. You finish your lunch and never look down. Steve never looks at you once. At the end of the day, you open your locker to gather the books you'll need for homework, and a folded piece of notebook paper flutters to the floor. There is a single line written in unfamiliar handwriting.

Fuck 'em

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Part 5

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tag List: @boomhauer

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.👑

[junniepop]

JJK men and a male reader

So I died and came back. Now my inbox is filled with a lot of Jujutsu Kaisen stuff with a male reader, so I looked around and noticed there aren't a lot of male writers or even gender neutral ones, meaning that's what I'll be doing for awhile. This first request is...

before I get started, if you'd like to request something, then please see my masterlist

JJK boys with a male s/o

Warnings: aged up and language oh and some nsfw stuff cuz that's what they wanted.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, T. Aoi

I. Yuuji

Isn't hung up by you being male, I feel as Yuuji got older, the more open minded he became. His sexuality was something that evolved as he aged and had a big change in his mid teenage years when he was exploring himself. Into his late teens he began seeing people of all types of representation, he simply did not care how they presented themselves.

That leads us to you, our gorgeous male that has Yuuji simping. All seriousness, this man loves entirely, some might even find it to be smothering. He is the type to text you paragraphs of good morning and goodnight texts, always leaving something for you to eat in the fridge, brings something home because it reminded him of you, and always always makes time to call you before a mission.

Yuuji always has random thoughts about you. Like, "Should I make his favorite tonight?" "I wonder what he's doing." "Oh....that would look so cute on him, should I get it?" "AH this charm has our initials on it! that means it was meant to be!"

If you're a sorcerer, Yuuji d e m a n d s to be your partner on missions and he will have a fit if someone says no. Is constantly stressing himself out over your well being, even if he knows you can handle yourself. always asking about your technique and is amazed every time he sees it. Very protective, stands in front of you a lot and when he see's you struggling he doesn't hesitate to get the curse's attention regardless of his own situation.

Also just because I feel like he would: Yuuji gave you a promise ring when he realized you were the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He has this need to prove to you that he is a fit partner, Like showing you he can cook, has his own place, very responsible with his money and what not.

The type of guy to send you a million snaps a day. He will literally show you everything he did that day and wants the same in return.

Every date with him somehow includes a physical activity. Going out to dinner? chances are Yuuji will see an arcade and more specifically the DDR in the background.

NSFW

In terms of sexual stuff, Yuuji seems like a top, but has definitely thought about bottoming and upon trying it- was not into it. Does not matter if you're much bigger than him or not, he will top you. However, Yuuji is rather submissive when it comes to his partner, he will say yes to whatever it is you want. You want him to be soft and gentle, he'll do it. You want him to absolutely wreck your ability to walk, he'll do it.

The first time Yuuji tried stuff with a guy, he for sure looked up if it would hurt and read that anal could be very painful, was TERRIFIED that he would hurt the guy. Definitely was asking with every movement if he was okay. With you he's more confident, but still askes if you're okay throughout the event.

Man is simple, likes very intimate positions where he can see your face. Heavily into pleasing you, he tries any kinks you're into even if he's not that into it. Loves being praised, it just does something to his brain, in that same line- any sounds you make go straight to his dick. Really enjoys marking, is proud to cover you in them too.

The type of guy to enjoy eating you out, like fully sit on his face. Plus it helps his dick slide in smoother.

Yuuji will lose his mind if you say you want to milk him. Yuuji usually never thinks about his own pleasure, so when you want to pleasure him until he's empty, mans is not readyyyy. Just stutters out an okay and proceeds to go stupid when you start.

Conclusion

Yuuji loves you entirely. Trusts you 100% and would do anything to keep your life stable and happy. Yuuji just wants to grow old with you tbh, so in love with the idea.

If you were to break up with him, he would be devastated, unable to continue on for a long time. I mean he placed his everything into you, why would you do this to him?

all in all, it is a very stable relationship as long as you don't take him for granted because he is prone to letting people use him.

F. Megumi

Definitely did not care you were male. Megumi cares about a person's mentality, their goals and dreams, the way a person carries themselves. When Megumi met you, he found you quite attractive, your drive is what lured him in and from there his feelings developed.

Megumi is subtle in showing his affection. Little touches here, sticky notes meant just for you, always carrying 'extra' snacks. It actually might take you awhile to notice his affections for you, simply because it is so subtle. Megumi seems like the person to wait until you confess. However. Megumi would confess if he gets pushed to or knows he won't get rejected.

Once he confesses, his love is soft and soothing with a hint of awkwardness. Megumi in the beginning would be showing affection through words and small acts of service, always telling you how much he appreciates you and doing things for you. Some of these things would be things like picking up snacks for you, doing your laundry, leaving you some of his clothes. He likes to do these things without you knowing because I think it lessens the embarrassment he feels doing it.

Even if you are in a long term relationship with him, he always gets flustered by you. Megumi is naturally reserved, so telling him I love you with sincerity will cause him to malfunction. Poor boy freezes and stutters around his words while avoiding eye contact.

Now, physical contact in this relationship is a tell tale sign of how much Megumi trusts you and loves you. Megumi is the type of person to reserve physical touch for someone he completely trusts, so with you, this will let you know his true feelings.

Touch would start with closeness at first, just grazing hands or bumping knees, but would develop into hours of intimate cuddling because he's touched starved. KISSING, oh my lord- his kisses tell you everything he feels. so intense, no matter how soft he kisses you.

if you're a sorcerer, Megumi is the type to go on missions with you, but doesn't complain if he can't go with you. However, worries a lot and contemplates going after you. Unlike Yuuji, who would go to literal war, Megumi trusts your strength a lot. The only time he is like yuuji is against a particularly strong curse. Loves fighting together though, it shows how much you trust him.

NSFW

Megumi gives me verse energy. Like he was a top for a long time, asked you if he could bottom once and was surprisingly into it. So now when the mood arises, its whatever you guys are in the mood for. You guys often take turns.

His first time was with you- Megumi just seems like a late bloomer and you were the only person he did stuff with. He's very gentle because he knows it can be painful, I think sexually his fear is not being good enough for you, so give him as much reassurance as you can.

Now this boy is rather kinky despite his personality. Loves when you beg, drives him mad to hear your pleas and whimpers. Likes the pain of you needing something to hold onto when he tops which results in scratches down his back and the pulling of his hair. Doesn't think condoms are necessary because you're the only person for him in his eyes- aka likes breeding. When he bottoms, he enjoys riding and wants to see your face as he does. Do not get it twisted though, he's very much into you messing him up and railing him.

SEND THIS BOY NUDES. DO IT. Mans will sprint home if he has to. Don't do it too often or he'll get used to it. Maybe like once every two-ish weeks. Or better yet do it while he's on a mission. Megumi always tries to answer you, so expecting something serious, he short circuits when its just a pic of you in some underwear he thought he ripped the last time you guys were intimate.

Conclusion

Shy boy into some kinky things with his partner. It might take him some time to develop a deep relationship with you because he's scared you'll leave, but as long as you provide him the security he needs, he'll stay by your side indefinitely.

If you were to break up with him, you're just like his dad in his eyes and the betrayal would result in him locking many people out. Unlike Yuuji, who's emotions pour out of him, many wouldn't know Megumi is barely scrapping by.

G. Satoru

Gojo doesn't give a rats ass how you present yourself, he lives by the motto "a hole's a hole." What truly would make Gojo invest in more than casual hooking up is your personality. Gojo needs someone who doesn't need him and doesn't care about who he is in the sorcerer world. Someone like that would capture his eye rather quick and this man is like "Eh? I'm GOJO SATORU, you know top dog?" and you would just blink and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Shows off so much trying to impress you. "ne ne (Y/n) did you see me squash that special grade into dust?" *sigh* "Yes Gojo, I also saw you split one into a thousand pieces and turn another into a ball." so unamused by his abilities.

The one time he saw amazement cross your features is when he was playing the piano (I feel Gojo's other talents were never looked at and everyone saw him as this god like being, all he wants is someone to look at other things he can do.) and his heart skipped a beat. Because his first goal was just get into your pants, he was quite surprised you were more interested in his normal talents. This is where he begins showing you his real side, still a teasing man child, but he begins asking you about your interests and seeing what you have in common.

The more he learns, the harder it is for him to find a way not to commit to you. You see Gojo subconsciously looks for a reason to leave, he hates being tied down and is super flighty. Then there's you, ticking all his boxes without even knowing it. There's only been one person to do that.

So he takes a leap and goes for it. He's still scared that he'll get burned like last time, but he's willing to try.

One of the requirements to being with Gojo is you need to be strong in your own right. Gojo is an extremely powerful man with many enemies, so his partner must be able to handle themselves. Being a sorcerer, Gojo would B E G you to go with him on literally every single mission and would throw the biggest tantrum until you say yes. Sometimes when he's being particularly childish, he'll stop fighting the curses to watch you do it. "You can do it (Y/n)-chan, if you win I'll give you kisses." Takes everything in your power not to launch your technique right at him as he sits there with his shit-eating grin.

This man in the beginning of your relationship is immediately extremely handsy. Just all up on you all the time, but little do you know is, this is really a protective measure for when you're out of the house. At home, he's still handsy, but you can just feel how different it is. He'll come and fall asleep on you, stand behind you when you're doing your skincare routine, always following you around the house.

Overtime, you'll become his place to rest when he needs to recharge. You're the only time Gojo gets a break from being at the top. It makes you wonder if he ever truly gets to be normal.

Overall, Gojo's love is deceptively delicate because his personality is quite childish, he uses it as a mask to hide how he's really feeling. So you might think everything is going swimmingly until he ups and leaves you. Once he starts showing you that real side of him, that's when you have him wrapped around your finger.

NSFW

This man is incredibly horny. His stamina is very high and he's very kinky. Gojo is a dominant verse whore. It doesn't matter if he's taking or giving, he's always in control. Honey you were not first and you might not be the last, this man is very confident in pleasuring you.

Gojo like I said, is incredibly kinky. He enjoys degrading you, overstimulating you until you beg him to stop, he wants to break you and make you only crave him. Seriously, you might want to think about a safe word because this man won't stop until you're not even speaking coherent sentences. In saying that there are somethings that you can try (key word 'try') to do to make him lose his mind. One of those things is a blowjob, his dick is incredibly sensitive in certain areas, so he'll become a mind-numbed mess if you're good enough. Another is softly begging in his ear and saying how he's the only one who makes you feel this way aka call him your god in bed and he'll bust right then and there.

Phone sex. Legit will call you if you guys haven't been together for a few days and all you hear are his whines and groans. "Guess what I'm doing cutie~"

THIS MAN- you're never safe to answer your phone because one time you opened the snap and it was him lazily jacking his dick. You have a small heart attack every time the notif is a snap from Gojo, just praying you can open it in public and 9/10 you can't.

The type of guy to get handsy in public places. Just in your ear like "Baby pleeeeasssseeeee can we fuck in public, I promise you'll still be able to walk when I'm done."

Conclusion

Gojo is a rollercoaster of a relationship that needs it's rider to be okay with a lot of distance for awhile and sudden disappearances. Without the right criteria, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If you were to break up with him, he would immediately sleep with as many people as he can to numb himself from the pain of having a hole ripped right through him. He'd go back to that childish personality, but you can feel the edge in his words despite his tone.

N. Kento

Nanami gives me 'gave up on the sex of my partner ages ago' energy. Like he has tried relationships with a lot of people and realized all people suck. So you being a man means nothing to him, you just have to prove to him you're not shitty like everyone else.

The type of guy that takes you out on proper dates in the beginning. It's usually dinner because of his job, but sometimes he'll ask you to lunch. Nanami will bring you small gifts like flowers or Knick knacks he thought you'd like.

Nanami likes someone a little younger than himself, probably around 23-24, they still have that idealistic thought process but with realistic foundations. He likes someone who can be serious, but still enjoys things like joyrides or going out bowling.

Nanami is a very uptight guy, so you're going to have to work to get him to relax. When you do, this is when he starts to see you as long time partner rather than someone who is just for fun. Literally goes from stick up his ass, to a big softie that just wants to curl up in bed with you. He'll start smiling more and doing intimate things like bathing together.

Nanami would probably rather have someone outside the sorcerer world so he doesn't have to think about work when he sees you. He wouldn't complain if you were though, gives him a lot less to worry about since he knows you can handle yourself. Doesn't even stress when you go on missions by yourself, he respects your strength.

NSFW

Now Nanami is moderately kinky. He's definitely a top and will not change. He's into ddlb (dom daddy and little boy for my innocents out there.) Very much into control and making you take it, he's not one for brats and will tame that shit right out of you. Doesn't need a safe word, he's very good at gauging your reactions. Really really into deep throating and you better learn how to breathe or you'll be struggling. Likes breeding, so he would be glad you can't have children.

Conclusion

Nanami’s love is traditional and straight forward. He likes routine to a certain degree and that degree ends at stable relationship, everything else is not that fun without a level of risk to him, but he likes that when he comes home, you'll be right there.

if you were to break up with him, Nanami would sigh and say he told himself so. He's hurt, but it'll solidify that people are still and always will be shitty.

R. Sukuna

Sukuna does not do love. period. The only way I could see him giving notice to someone is if they are powerful, someone who can bring him amusement. Sukuna only does thing for his own entertainment end of discussion.

I’m going to be using post-Yuuji Sukuna, so he’s restricted by Yuuji himself and can’t outright cause chaos at all times. This way Sukuna has to spend more time with people than he’d like to, normally he would just kill something once he’s bored, but now he has to deal with them.

Noticed your technique through Yuuji and was amused, much like Megumi, he thought your curse technique had a lot of potential to be devastating. As Yuuji spent more time with you, Sukuna began noticed more things about you, like that you cooked better than Yuuji, were extremely versatile in battle with your technique and so on.

The type to notice your attraction to him and act on it. He can’t really do much since he’s in Yuuji’s body, so he’s going to work with what he’s got. Didn’t care if you’re male or female, he just likes a strong partner so he can go harder during sex.

Your relationship would start with being his toy, something to bring him pleasure that is all. With Sukuna, you must both respect him and not fear him. He’s very big on respect and trust, but hates when someone he views as ‘important’ fears him because they’ll betray him the second they can. Everyone else can fear him, he doesn’t care.

Sukuna is also highly unpredictable and unstable, be prepared for death at a moments notice tbh. He’ll kill you if he feels like it. In a deeper relationship, Sukuna is a hard pressed tsundere, saying things quite harshly. Saying things like, “Here brat, I don’t need you breaking just yet.” “Dumbass, that curse was stronger than you.” “I took care of them because you’re weak.”

Trust between Sukuna and you is a game of high stakes chess, one wrong move and you’re nothing but trash to him. However, succeed in earning his trust and you’ll be rewarded with a loyal man. Though Sukuna hates showing vulnerability, so he’ll treat you the same in public places that he would treat anyone else. Alone, he’s alright with whatever as long as it doesn’t annoy him.

Surprisingly protective. He’ll kill curses he deems are a problem to you or rip a person limb from limb if he found a hair missing from your head. Doesn’t understand why you don’t let him handle it, he’s way stronger than you.

Is almost never soft with you unless he’s extremely tired or just waking up. Holding you as close as he can and telling you not to go. Don’t bring it up either, he’ll end you if you tell anyone.

Will never tell you, but likes touching you, you’re very soft compared to him. He’s the type of guy to have callous from years of fight and doesn’t really care about his skin to much because he’s a God in his eyes.

Would rather surrender himself to a church than admit he gets slightly giddy when you remember small details about him. Like this man has a lot of history, so when you know a tiny random detail about him, his non-existent heart shutters a little.

Nsfw

This man is extremely kinky during sex. I pray for your well being because honestly I don’t know if you’re going to live through sex with him. A dom top period, that last person to even insinuate they could top him was added to his innate domain permanently.

He’s into completely dominating you and make sure you know he owns you. B I G into impact play, slapping you a lot until you’re a beautiful red. Degrading and humiliating you, honestly would let people watch so they know that you’re his property.

Actually really likes his partner to be a brat, man loves breaking you and turning you into a submissive bunny just for him. Honestly he just likes pushing people beyond their limits, like really into emotional play, he wants to see your expressions when he does something. Ooo objectification, will use you like a foot stool and sit on you. Man in general will work you hard.

In saying all that, immaculate aftercare because he knows your mind is too far gone to remember him being this caring and soft for you. Literally bathes you and gets you into bed curled up on him. Also makes sure your body didn’t sustain a lot of damage during sex.

Do. Not. Taunt. Sukuna. It will not end well. “Huuuh? You think you can handle more little boy?” Eyes narrowed and smile too tight. You’ve awoken the beast and he’s not going to leave anything unbroken.

Conclusion

Sukuna’s love is... well a bike ride through hell? To be honest you’ll never know if he loves you. Everything about him is highly unpredictable and dangerous, you could end up as worm food in seconds.

Breaking up with Sukuna... you’re joking right? You don’t have the balls to tell a man who could split you into a million pieces with a flick of the wrist, you’re breaking up with him , right?

Seriously he’ll kill you, no hesitation. It’s either realize you’re stuck with him or die. I think most people would assume he never cared at first, but he did care and now you want to leave him? Absolutely not. He set everything down for you and he’ll be damned if he lets you live without him.

T. Aoi

(First and foremost- why is it so hard to find Toudou headers.)

Okay, I’m sorry but Toudou to me is a straight guy, so I can’t really see him with a male. But, if it were to happen, I think it would go like this:

Being childhood friends with Toudou, you were used to his eccentric personality and sometimes extreme antics.

This man is EXTREMELY comfortable with you. You guys grew up together, so some of the things you guys do together would definitely be seen as way too much for friends. I’m talking sharing the same bed, bathing together, using each other’s things without permission. To you guys, you’ve been doing this since you were little, so neither of you think twice.

I think there would be a trigger that would make Toudou realize he’s more into you than being friends. Like maybe someone flirting with you, he’d at first think he’s being replaced as a friend, but it’s much deeper than that. Definitely debates in his head about what he’s feeling toward you. After going back and forth with his type of girl in his head, he’ll come to terms with it.

This is when he’ll start noticing things he’s never payed that much attention to before. Things like how small you’re compared to him, the way clothes fitted to your body, how pretty you actually were and most important difference- how he’s never noticed you have the fattest ass he’s ever seen.

Seriously this man’s sexuality went from women to women + you.

Toudou isn’t the type to wait either, as soon as he knows how he feels, he confesses. He’s the type of guy to say “take it or leave it, that is how I feel.”

You kinda just stand there. Like, huh? Toudou are you feeling okay? Have- have you been cursed? There’s no way, Toudou middle name pussy pounder Aoi just said he was into you romantically... right?

After the shock, you reciprocated his feelings and began dating.

Now, this man- S U P E R affectionate and devoted. Always wanting to hold hands or link arms. He loves cuddling and playing with your hair while you sleep on him. Puddy in your hands if you give him a massage.

Toudou is immensely dedicated. He knows your favorite foods down to the amount of salt you use on your fries, knows what sizes you prefer for hoodies, shirts, button ups and so on, and this man knows your favorite movies by heart.

He’s the type to buy you something simply because you said it was starting to give you problems.

Lovvvvessss dates. I mean he’s a hopeless romantic, he wants to take you on really cheesy dates that you’d see honeymoon couples go on.

The type to want to match clothing or jewelry.

If you’re a sorcerer, he’s wanting to train everyday, he likes seeing you in action. Double points if you can match him in strength too. He respects your strength enough to not worry about you, he’s confident in his S/o’s abilities.

NSFW

Top. Enough said. Ok but seriously, he wants to clap you cheeks so bad.

Toudou has the biggest size kink too, I’m talking like he’s the type to point right at your navel and say “I’m right here baby~ can you feel me filling you?”

His definitely into railing. His favorite position is the mating press, allows him to hit deeply and as hard as he wants.

Lovesss when you whine and beg. He wants to see how much you can take before your begging him to let you cum.

The type of guy to leave your ass a nice reddish purple color. Just two big ass hand prints on you ass and hips.

✨i m m a c u l a t e✨ aftercare. It’s almost like he’s worshipping you when he’s cleaning you up and making sure you’re taken care of.

Conclusion

Being with Toudou is like being with an Aries, he’s high energy and can get easily bored. He enjoys someone who excites him both mentally and physically. Loves a challenge. Toudou’s love is like a concentrated ball of sunlight, it’s hot and bright. He’s overly devoted to you and tells you how much you mean to him all the time.

If you break up with him, he’s the type to hold his head high until he’s alone and then he breaks down, crying into his hands. Thinking, “Was I too much?” “Maybe I wasn’t enough?” He’s confident, but he’s still a person with insecurities.

[elen-aranel]

Curtain Call - Act 1

For: @writer-wednesday, but week 16... yes this took that long Pairing: Captain Christopher Pike x F!Reader (no Y/N) Warnings: None! WC: 3k Rating: Teen Notes: People keep telling me, "Take your time, Elen", and I say, "but I don't want to!" But I needed this story to keep me company this summer. There's a further act to come! Summary: Chris is there. He catches your eye and tilts his head, a small, sheepish smile on his face, and time almost stands still for a second as you stare back at him.

Masterlist • Act 2 >

In space, no one can hear you sing.

One of your teachers at the conservatoire told you that, years ago, and somehow it stuck with you, along with how to use your stomach muscles to support your breath, and what to picture in your mind as you reach for a high note.

You never questioned her about why she said it; you don’t know if she thought space travel could be bad for your voice, or whether she thought Earth music belonged on Earth. But either way, you’ve only sung off-world a couple of times.

Work on Earth has been plentiful, though, so you never had a reason to think about it. You’ve been all over the planet: Europe, Asia, a stint at the Sydney Opera House which was magical… And you like this gig, a few more weeks in a theatre in your current home city of San Francisco, a lot. It’s where the Federation brass bring dignitaries to give them a flavour of human music, and you’ve sung for admirals, ambassadors, members of the Federation council, even the president.

Your numbers aren’t until the second half, so before the show you can mingle with the audience. And recently you’ve found yourself wondering. Feeling a little restless. Pretending to yourself you’re on a starbase somewhere, or maybe Kasseelia, at one of the opera houses.

Maybe one day, when the right opportunity comes up, you’ll perform off Earth again.

For all of your thinking about space, you have to appreciate the historic building that you get to perform in on Earth. The crystal chandeliers that cast a soft warm glow and the polished wood panelling aren’t actually hundreds of years old, but they’re a re-creation of the theatre’s original design. You wonder what it would have been like, when you couldn’t get on a starship to go to another world. When a place like this might have been your only escape from a mundane life on Earth.

There are a lot of Starfleet uniforms in the foyer this evening among the suits, dresses and alien robes; even more than usual. Some are the older style navy blue, but a lot of the newer, more colourful uniforms are dotted about the crowd. Reds, blues and golds. There are aliens of a species you’ve never seen before too, taller than humans with a sparkling stone which may be jewellery in the middle of their foreheads. You smile to yourself as you push your way toward the stairs, taking care, as you always do, that no one steps on your dress. There’s something about getting to witness the crowd, and their sense of anticipation.

Your other pre-show ritual is going up to the circle level bar for a drink. You pause at the turn in the stairs for one last look at the crowd before you perform to them later, then head the rest of the way up.

It’s quieter up here. You’ve noticed during the season that the bars on the ground floor are more popular pre-show, and patrons tend not to come upstairs as much until right before the performance starts. There are a few people at tables, but no one right at the bar. It’s as picturesque as the rest of the theatre, with walls covered with vintage posters advertising operas, plays and musicals that were staged here in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries.

You slide onto your stool, beneath the black and white girl on the poster of Les Misérables.

“The usual?”

“Hey, S’nera, yes please.” You smile at the Caitian bartender, ginger fur glossy under the bar’s spotlights, who already has a highball glass in hand.

“Let’s make that two,” a deep voice says, and you and S’nera share a doubtful look before you turn to see who’s spoken.

“All right,” she says, and you hear ‘your funeral’, but you forget that as you look at the stranger sitting down next to you, and your breath catches just a little. He is handsome, with a square jaw, mouth pulled into a small smile, perfectly styled greying hair and blue eyes, made bluer by the green wrap-around top he wears. He has a Starfleet badge so must be an officer, but that’s not a uniform colour you recognise. He wears it well, though. And it does nothing to hide his broad shoulders and muscled arms.

You’re jolted out of your admiration by the sound of the glasses hitting the bar, and you turn to pick one up.

“Cheers,” he says, clinking his glass with yours, and you both take a sip. His confident expression falters. “Room temperature pineapple juice? Really?”

“It’s what I always drink.” You shrug, grinning. “First time anyone’s joined me, though.” You take another sip, the fruity flavour soothing you as it always does.

“Well, guess I walked into that one. Figures, the day I’m having. I hate these things.” He gestures, somehow encompassing the whole theatre, and sighs, and you have to stop yourself watching his mouth on the glass when he takes a drink.

“You hate concerts? Music?”

“I’m not sure the music will really be my thing, but... it’s the having to be here to see and be seen. Being here because of who I am and what I represent. It feels... inauthentic. If—” He pauses. “I’m sorry, I didn’t come here to complain about my troubles to you.”

“No, that’s all right. Sometimes we just need someone to hear us.” You tilt your head. “Let me get you a proper drink. S’nera?” You reach over and take the glass from his hands, your fingers accidentally-on-purpose brushing against his. You clock his eyes widening just a fraction. “I’m putting it on my tab. What’ll it be?”

“Whiskey on the rocks. But won’t you join me?”

You shake your head – alcohol is bad for your voice, pre-performance, and so is ice. “I’m good. Perhaps later, though? After the show?”

“I hope so.” S’nera places his new drink on the bar, and he picks it up and raises it to you.

“So what brings you here, officer?” You ask. “I’m guessing work, but your uniform, I—”

“Chris, there you are. I knew I’d find you hiding out somewhere. Finish that, and come back with me.” The newcomer is also wearing a Starfleet uniform, dark blue with elaborate gold epaulets and badge. His dark eyes are equal parts amused and frustrated, and you’d bet he’s Chris’ superior. “I had to leave Sarah on her own with two of our guests; I’m hoping there won’t be a diplomatic incident by the time we get back.”

“Admiral, I—”

“Good evening and welcome. If you wish to take your seat for tonight’s performance, the auditorium is now open. May I please remind guests—”

You look at the antique clock above the bar. Somehow it’s already 7:15pm, and even though it’s much too early for your call, people start getting antsy if you’re not in your dressing room before the show starts. You step down off your stool, and pat Chris’ shoulder.

“I’ve got to get going now too. It was nice to meet you, Chris. Hope the show’s not as bad as you think.” You nod to the admiral on your way past, and smile at Chris, now standing, as you leave the bar.

“Anyone interesting out there tonight?” the principal ’cellist asks you as you pass her in the narrow corridor backstage, making sure to give her cello as wide a berth as possible.

“Mostly the usual, but there’s a diplomatic party. Some folks the Starfleet brass want to impress.”

“They came to the right place. We’re gonna blow them away.” Ayre, the tenor soloist, looking smart in a dark gold suit which sets off their golden-brown skin and close-cropped bleached gold curls gives a smug grin as they emerge from the door next to yours. “You coming out for drinks after?”

You open your mouth to reply, but an image of Chris floats in front of your eyes, and how you said you might meet him later. But you’ll never be able to find him—

“Hesitation is not like you.” Ayre’s expression turns suspicious. “Did you have other plans? Did you meet someone?”

You shrug. “Kind of? But no. No plans. Drinks sound great. And if I’m remembering right, you owe me, from—”

They laugh. “Yeah yeah, whatever.”

“Performers this is your five-minute call. Beginners, please stand by.”

“Break a leg,” you wave as you open the door to your dressing room.

Inside you flip on the humidifier, check your appearance and read for a bit before you start your warm-ups. At least your routine is well established, so it doesn’t matter if you can’t quite put a handsome Starfleet officer completely out of mind...

The thing you love about singing is that it’s just you. There’s nothing standing between the music and your audience; it’s your artistry, your emotion, your soul, direct from you to them. There are no instruments to get in the way, no keys to get stiff, no strings to break.

That’s not to say you don’t have to take care of your voice. You were tired and run down at the end of a semester at the conservatoire in your first year and you overdid it. You spent that entire summer resting, and praying that the doctors were right, and that your voice would come back by itself.

But as you step out onto the stage, hear the strings play that first soft chord, there’s only you, the audience, and the direct connection between you.

That’s part of why you like to mingle with the crowd before the show. The house lights are down and the stage lights are bright so you can’t make out anyone clearly, but you can picture who you’re singing for. You can see the faces, in your mind’s eye, of the regulars who you’ve seen at multiple performances. The aliens who you’d never seen before today. The Starfleet officers, including that admiral. And Chris.

You take a deep breath, and sing.

Another nice thing about being a singer is after your warm down, which only takes a few minutes, you’re done. You don’t have to drag your instrument in a case along with you if you go out, or stress about whether you’ve left it somewhere safe. And, while this run is going on, you can keep your fancy dresses at the theatre.

As quick as you are to leave your dressing room, Ayre is quicker.

“Leda said you were special tonight, you know.” They say as you fall into step with them.

“Wait really?” Leda is director of music at the theatre, among other things, and her good opinion matters.

“Of course really. I might get jealous. I’m supposed to be her favourite.”

You laugh. “Only because you dedicated Nessun Dorma to her that one time—”

“Shush. Piacere for drinks?”

“Sure.”

By the time you make it to the stage door there’s a good size group of your friends heading to the bar, and you’re looking forward to a couple of drinks before turning in.

But as you exit the theatre, stepping out into the fresh evening air, Chris is there. He catches your eye and tilts his head, a small, sheepish smile on his face, and time almost stands still for a second as you stare back at him.

Ayre nudges your shoulder, speaking in an undertone. “Guess you’re not coming after all? Make good choices, babe. “And they somehow manage to herd everyone else away before you can react.

“Hi,” you say, suddenly feeling a little nervous, a little exposed. “You enjoy the show?”

“I did. You were—” he shakes his head a little. “You were sublime, and I... I owe you an apology. I said a few things back there that were… ill-considered.”

“All you said was you didn’t expect you’d enjoy the music.” You shrug. “And that’s fair – not everything is for everyone. Mostly you seemed unhappy about your situation, not the concert. So no apology necessary. But… if you really want to apologise, you can buy me a drink?” You take a step towards him, smiling. “After a performance I can even have ice.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He grins as he offers you his arm. “So why do you drink warm pineapple juice before shows?”

“It’s a placebo, really. But I like the taste and it doesn’t do any harm, so I grab one pre-show while I’m sizing up the audience. Really you have to keep yourself hydrated all the time. And humid atmospheres help.”

You finger his jacket with your free hand. “My turn: why haven’t I seen a green Starfleet uniform before now?”

Conversation flows easily as you walk, and he’s happy to let you steer him to one of your favourite bars. It’s a bit of a hidden gem – by the bay, small but not crowded, and sleek and modern, unlike the theatre.

You like it because you can see out across the water as you sit with your drinks, to the Golden Gate Bridge in one direction, and lights on Alcatraz in another.

Above the water is the new moon, bright enough to reflect off the waves. And above that, stars.

Discussions of uniforms naturally lead to talking about space, and you question Chris on life as a starship captain, the places he’s been and the things he’s seen. His stories fascinate you, even if you’re not entirely sure you believe them all.

“You ever think about travelling? Seeing the stars?” he asks as you start in on the second round of drinks.

“Actually yes. More and more, recently. I was in a tour commemorating the founding of the Federation a few years ago. The concert on Vulcan... that was fun.”

“Oh?”

“A couple of Vulcan musicians caught up with me after the show, asking about the logic of conveying emotion in music, and why I didn’t just showcase the beauty of the mathematical structure underpinning it all.”

“That sounds very Vulcan. I have some experience with them.” He smiles, there’s something fond in his expression as it goes distant for a moment. “My chief science officer is Vulcan. He can sometimes be... blunt.”

“Yes, blunt.” You nod. “I knew they were asking in good faith, and after I got over my surprise it led to an interesting conversation. It was good to look at things from a viewpoint I hadn’t considered before.”

“That part of exploration... the way it challenges our perspective? That’s one of the things that keeps me going back out there.”

“Plus the things you get to see... the crystal formations on Iyer sound amazing. I want to see those. Shame Starfleet doesn’t take passengers.”

He laughs at that. “If I could I’d take you in a heartbeat.” He pauses, then reaches out to touch your hand. “You should go, though. To Iyer. Hell, you should travel the galaxy, if you want to. You can. Earth will still be here when you want to come home.”

“I should, huh. I still have a few weeks to go here, but after that... I was waiting for the right opportunity, to sing somewhere? But maybe I should just go explore.”

You sip your drink, feeling thoughtful. “So how long are you planetside?”

“Until tomorrow. Afternoon.” He smiles, lopsided and utterly charming, and you feel flutters inside you as you make your decision.

The corners of your mouth turn up, and you look him in the eye. “It’s a bit too late for food now, but would it be forward of me to ask you to—”

Your communicator beeps, and you frown, pulled out of the moment.

“You gonna get that?” He asks, expression gone amused.

You pull the communicator out and stare at it a moment, wondering if you can make it go quiet by force of will. But anyone calling this late must have a particular reason; it’s probably just Ayre wanting to give you an out from your date if you need one. You pull a face, and stand.

“I’d better. I’ll just be a minute.”

The breeze coming off the bay is chilly, and you feel goosebumps raise on your arms as you activate the communicator one handed, hugging the other across your stomach.

“Hello?”

“Oh thank God, I thought you were never going to pick up. It’s Leda. You need to come back to the theatre, now. It’s nothing bad, but we’re having a meeting. The others are here already, but you weren’t with them.”

“Um... now now? I’m sorry Leda, can’t whatever it is wait? I—I’m on a date...”

You hear her take a breath, and you can picture her in your mind’s eye, pinching the bridge of her nose, trying to slow down. “I’m sorry about that, but I wouldn’t call you in if the matter wasn’t of the utmost importance. Time is a factor, too. When will you be here?”

You stifle your sigh.

“Give me fifteen.”

Chris must pick up something in your expression as you return to him.

“Everything all right?”

“Yes, but no. Leda – Leda Lau, director of music – has summoned me back to the theatre for a meeting. I tried to tell her I was otherwise engaged, but she was insistent.” You sigh. “I’m so sorry, I was really enjoying our evening, but I’m going to have to abandon you.”

Chris stands and picks up your jacket, expression sympathetic. “Orders are orders. I understand. Let me walk you back.”

You take your jacket from him as you get to the door, and put it on before stepping outside.

“No, I’ll be fine. It’s way out of your way, if you’re staying at HQ.”

“I insist.” His small half-smile is back, and he holds out his arm for you. “My parents didn’t raise me to let a date walk back alone.”

The streets are quiet on your way to the theatre, stars glimmering above you, and it seems like no time before you’re coming up to the stage door again.

“Thank you for tonight.” You turn to face Chris, staring up into his blue eyes. “I’m sorry I had to bail on you. But... if you find yourself back on Earth again, feel free to look me up.”

He stares back down at you, and something in his blue eyes is searching. You know he’s going to kiss you—

“—don’t want you to worry, that’s all. I’ll be back soon. Yeah, see you later. Oh, hi—” Edward, a violinist, waves at you as he walks up to the door. “You here for the…? I’ll, uh… see you inside.” He gives you an apologetic glance, having just noticed Chris.

But the moment is broken, and Chris has already moved away.

“If you find yourself in space, feel free to look me up,” he says.

You smile, wistful. “I will.”

Somehow you make it through the door without looking back.

[dilucids]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤLove Letters, Genshin Impact

their reactions to you receiving love letters.

includes: diluc, venti, ningguang and beidou

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 DILUC RAGNVINDR ━━ DARKNIGHT HERO 〕

━━ the first one wouldn't bother him at all, he'll simply look over your shoulder, ask you what it was and shrug it off, having trust in your relationship.

━━ if the writer persists, he'll get a little iffy with it and will read it over your shoulder as you do as well.

━━ he'll let the words of this secret admirer sink into his brain, disgusting words that were sickeningly sweet and he swears that it doesn't bother him.

━━ but it does, the way that someone else is also admiring all your traits, or has a note on all your little habits that may not be cute in the eyes of others but is absolutely endearing to him ( and this new person apparently ).

━━ and then he wonders if you're into this type of romantic thing, things that he can't indulge in for you, like sweet letters for you to wake up to every morning that write about you like a passage from 'romeo and juilet', talking about how your beauty makes him undone.

━━ he swears it still doesn't bother him at all when more and more letters come in and kaeya delivers them from the headquarters with that knowing look on his face.

━━ but he gets a little more attentive; he'll watch you do the most boringest of things, he'll use a softer tone when reading to you before bed, he'll give into your scoldings sooner than the usual, he'll make his kisses sweeter and last a little longer, he'll even let you play with his hair and tangle flowers in it; anything to make sure you know that he loves you and all your little quirks just as much as that secret admirer.

"You okay?" You crane your neck back to ask Diluc, who currently had a hold of your waist, pushing his face into the crook of neck. He hums, his paperwork left all over his desk with fresh ink washed over the page, in little underlines, arrows and smaller notes by the side. He had just finished another stack of the seemingly never-ending paperwork, finding little rest with you in his arms.

A knock destroys your delicate mood and you can tell Diluc isn't in the mood to answer to anyone's knock, Kaeya's in particular, judging by the knocking pattern. "You can come in, Kaeya," you call out.

He comes in with the regular pink envelope, "your secret admirer is so dedicated to you," he teases and his eye picks up on the way that Diluc slightly tightens his arms around your waist so he grins. "Don't tease, Kaeya," you warn albeit rather insincerely, as you pick up the envelope placed upon the desk.

"Are you leaving?" You raise an eyebrow, pausing the action of opening the envelope when Kaeya makes no move to leave. He shrugs, finding that the very small rise that he got out of Diluc should be enough until he sees him again and leaves the two of you in silence, closing the door behind him.

Opening the letter, you feel Diluc remove his face from your neck, placing his chin on your shoulder as you open another letter. "What day is it now?" He asks with distaste, seeing the same slanted, upright handwriting on the piece of paper.

"Now, now. It's rather amusing."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 VENTI ━━ WINDBORNE BARD 〕

━━ wouldn't bother him, at all.

━━ the first letter would come and he'll find the contents kinda amusing since this person is kinda trash at poems ( i guess when you're venti, any poem compared to yours would be ).

━━ would find it very funny ( would pocket the letter so he could show and do a dramatic reading of it to dvalin later ).

━━ unlike diluc however, he'd jokingly use it to get more affection from you.

━━ so everytime he saw you skimming through the letter uninterested, he'd pout a little, impatiently tap his foot and let out a quiet huff ( maybe even make the wind pick up a little ); anything to make you think that he was jealous so that you'd redirect his attention onto him.

━━ does things like point out grammatical mistakes or rephrases their sentences into a better flowing sentence whilst reading over your shoulder with a jealoused look on his face.

━━ it works, obviously. you end up ditching the letter, always leaving them half read to tend to venti. he denies when you make the claim but has it written all over his face as you remind him that you're all his.

━━ basically, venti malewife, mansplain, manipulate.

Venti peers over your shoulder, leaning on your arm with a small yet obvious pout on his face. You try to ignore his expression as you read the letter, though it becomes harder when he begins to read out passages of the letter, cheesy passages when you were compared to an angel from heaven that was sent down to enlighten the earth, in a high-pitched, mocking voice.

You'd laugh it off, finally peering at Venti's jealous ruse and ditch the letter. "Is my little Archon jealous?" You'd tease him, taking ahold of his cheek to redirect his gaze onto you, you think you're the one in control right now but oh, he's literally had this planned since you've seen your name on the envelope in swirly handwriting and a heart right next to it. Surprisingly, music isn't the only performing arts Venti is good at as he huffs, pushing out his lower lip and never looking you in the eyes.

"I'd never leave you for someone who doesn't know how to spell 'gorgeous', my dear," you wrap your arm around his waist as he was sat on the armrest of your chair and he does nothing but sink into your arms, sliding into your lap so you were carrying him like a baby, his legs thrown over the other armrest and head pressed against you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 NINGGUANG ━━ ECLIPSING STAR 〕

━━ would see it as a challenge. like venti, would be slightly amused when she sees it.

━━ like, someone really thinks they can challenge her for you? L, that person's gonna have a lot on their plate by the end of it.

━━ would take immediate action after the first letter, even if you asked her not to, she'd do it behind your back.

━━ she literally has a floating mansion, i don't think anyone is in the position to challenge or stop her.

━━ would organise a "meeting" with said admirer to establish a few rules and consequences that would be enforced if any of those rules were to be broken.

━━ letters stopped right after the first one.

"This letter is for you," she trails off, handing you a letter that was pink and decorated in little hearts in all different colours. You quirk an eyebrow, planting yourself on her desk as Ningguang watches curiously as you tear open the envelope and unfold the contents. Your eyes scan the letter, injesting the words with a straight face, eyebrows furrowing.

"Is there something wrong?" You hum, turning the letter around to be met with a blank side and check the envelope for the sender again. "Just," you pause, unsure how to start, "do you know who sent this?"

She stares at you with a raised eyebrow, "no, it was placed on my desk when I arrived," taking the letter out of your hand, she scanned the contents. Her lips quirk and eyebrows move in amusement as she brings up her hand to cover her laugh.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 BEIDOU ━━ UNCROWNED QUEEN OF THE OCEAN 〕

━━ would be happy for you.

━━ don't know how but she would somehow be happy for you.

━━ since beidou is used to getting praise from younger members of youth, when she finds you reading a letter of praise, she'll also feel happy for you since you're always reading over her shoulder when she gets one with a pout. ( she thinks you're jealous of her???? )

━━ would literally pat you on the back and say well done with a hearty laugh.

━━ she'd ask to read it and everything, and would find pride in herself that other people could see all the things that she saw in you, like how your imperfections meant nothing, how your habits were the cutest thing ever.

━━ not a single jealous bone in her body when she sees it which is kinda endearing in her own way??

"What 'ave you got there?" Beidou's natural booming voice causes you to jump slightly, making you turn around and hide the letter behind your back as you scratch your cheek, you probably shouldn't show her a love letter from someone else.

"Just a letter," you wave off with a laugh but she's already behind you, with the letter in her hand and eyeing it's contents. You watch nervously as she reads your letter, scared of her reaction but she smiles━━ a full toothy grin where her amazingly white teeth are all on display.