#sleepy bois inc AU

[stressed-out-sloth]

SBI Spiderverse AU

This Au has been bouncing in my head for a while and its unlikely I’ll ever write it so I thought I might as well share it with the world. I came up with this fic after reading the fantastic fic Feelings Out on Paper (for those who haven’t read it, I would recommend it, it’s got an Ours Poetica kind of vibe to it) and thought “Yeah but what if this was a vigilante fic?” and then I saw the commercials for the new Spiderverse movie and thus this AU was born. I hope you guys like it.

 Without further ado, here’s the AU:

Tommy is the adopted son of Phil Watson alongside twins Technoblade and Wilbur

Unfortunately, Tommy’s relationship with his family is very strained

They used to be really close when they were younger, but when Wilbur grew older, he thought it was embarrassing to hang out with his baby brother so he pushed him away and called him annoying so he’d leave him alone

Techno was kind of the same way, becoming more introverted as he grew older, he just kept his distance from everyone and preferred being alone. But Tommy being young didn’t understand this and thought that when Techno avoided him, it was because he was annoying like Wilbur said and not because Techno was like that with almost everyone

When Tommy was 10, the twins left for university and decided to go out on their own after graduating. In the 6 years they’ve been gone, they haven’t contacted Tommy once despite making time to call Phil once a week.

Shortly after the twins left for college, Phil got a promotion at his job that required him to be in the office more often, which meant Tommy was alone most of the time

The thing is, Tommy’s neglect is kind of unintentional. Phil is really busy but he makes sure to check in on Tommy every once in a while, and every time he asks how he’s doing, Tommy always says he’s fine. And why would Tommy lie about that? Phil also doesn’t know about the twins not talking to Tommy. If he knew, he’d be pissed. 

The twins also have their reasons, but they’re not good reasons and they definitely don’t justify the 6 years of silence

So Tommy’s neglect isn’t out of malice. Even though it’s unintentional, it’s still neglect and it’s no excuse for their actions. Still, they all care about Tommy even if they don’t show it. Tommy understandably doesn’t see it this way

Tommy thinks he’s ignored because he’s too annoying and loud and he’s not as smart/talented as the others, which is why Phil makes time to call the twins but doesn’t spend time with Tommy

Over the years, Tommy grows bitter towards his family, thinking that he’ll never be worthy of Phil’s love/attention like the twins are. It also doesn’t help how he constantly hears about how successful his brothers are, leaving Tommy to believe he will always live in his brothers’ shadows and that they’re happier now that Tommy isn’t in their lives

Yay miscommunication!

Anyways, one day during a high school field trip, Tommy is separated from his group, stumbles into a room he’s not supposed to be in, and gets bit by a spider. You know how the rest goes

So Tommy develops powers and being the reckless teenager he is decides to test them out. During the test run he stumbles upon a mugging and using his newfound powers decides to step in. A week later, the vigilante Spiderman was born.

At first, Tommy did it for the thrill of using his new powers, but now he genuinely wants to protect the city and enjoys the feeling of helping people (it’s also definitely not an excuse to get out of the empty and quiet house that reminds Tommy of just how alone he is)

It’s been 6 months since Tommy became Spiderman and he’s become a prominent figure in the city. Not everybody appreciates his efforts (especially the cops), but for the most part Spiderman is respected and liked by the people

One day, Tommy comes home to see Phil looking excited. When Tommy asks what’s going on, Phil explains that the twins are coming back to visit during Spring Break

Needless to say, Tommy is not pleased. They ignored him, called him annoying, and then went off to college and cut off all contact with Tommy for years, and NOW they’re coming back just like that? He’s having none of it.

Tommy decides to go on patrol after dinner to blow off some steam. During his patrol, he sees a villain (haven’t decided who yet) messing around with some dangerous and illegal looking technology. Tommy breaks the technology so it doesn’t work anymore, but that causes the device to explode, zapping Tommy with some weird energy, causing him to pass out and for the building to collapse

He wakes up to find that the villain and the remains of the technology are gone. Whatever the machine zapped him with didn’t really hurt/affect him in any obvious way so Tommy heads home

A few days later, the twins come home and things are a bit tense. 

Wilbur is acting as though nothing changed in their years apart, expecting Tommy to be the same kid who adored Wilbur and followed him everywhere when they were younger. He wants to spend time with him “like the good old days”, forgetting how cruel he was to Tommy before leaving and cutting contact for 6 years. He’s genuinely surprised and hurt when Tommy acts cold and indifferent towards him. 

Unlike Wilbur, Techno figures out why Tommy is being distant but doesn’t realize just how badly his actions damaged their relationship so he gives Tommy space expecting him to come around eventually

Meanwhile, Phil knows things are awkward between his sons but he’s under the delusion that the twins kept in contact with Tommy so he thinks his family is still close and that the awkwardness will soon go away. He’s also around the house more and actually being a somewhat-attentive parent despite his busy schedule now that the twins are back (this doesn’t make Tommy bitter at all)

Tommy wants nothing to do with any of them and decides he needs to get out of the house, so Tommy goes patrolling like he always does when he needs to ignore his personal life

So Tommy is patrolling like normal when all of a sudden, not one but three people show up with similar spider-themed suits and using the same abilities Tommy has

Before Tommy can fully process this, one of them ask if Tommy’s the Spiderman of this reality

The strangers tell Tommy that each of them are a Spiderman from a different reality and were suddenly sucked through a portal and brought here. They were hoping to talk to the Spiderman of this reality to figure out what’s going on

The four of them decide to go somewhere private to talk to figure out what happened and how to get each of them back to their own reality

As they’re discussing theories, Tommy remembers about being blasted by the weird energy from the villain’s device and how it seemingly unaffected him. 

The four of them theorize that the device was built to bring people from alternate realities into this one, and upon hitting Tommy, the technology decided to bring in people with similar DNA, AKA, other Spider-people

The four of them decide it would be best to reveal their identities for convenience and since they’re from different realities secret identities don’t matter so much

So they all unmask and Tommy finds out that the other Spidermen are Phil, Wilbur, and Techno

Tommy kind of freaks out for a bit, and so do the rest of the Spider SBI (they are especially concerned and surprised about Tommy being Spiderman)

They all share their backstories and find out that the four of them are a family in every universe, the main thing that’s different is which member of their family got bit. Another thing that’s different is the timeline with Tommy getting his powers only half a year ago while the rest of the Spider SBI has had their powers for a few years. (The Spider SBI are concerned about how young Tommy is but are glad he didn’t become a vigilante at 13-14)

Fun Fact: All members of the Spider SBI were bit by different spiders. All of them have the standard powers (which includes biological webbing because let’s face it, none of the SBI are smart enough to make web-shooters) but each of them also has one unique ability. Tommy can create bio-electricity like Miles Morales, but he can’t turn invisible, that power is belongs to Wilbur. Techno has stingers coming out of his wrists that can paralyze people and Phil’s healing factor is so advanced he can regenerate and is practically immortal (think Deadpool or Wolverine)

After doing more planning/investigation on how to get them back to their realities, Tommy says he has to go home but will meet back with them in a while

The next day, this reality’s Wilbur wants to hang out with Tommy, being very pushy about it. Tommy rejects him and lies, saying how he already had plans with friends and leaves to reunite with Spider SBI to help them out.

At first Wilbur was ok with it, thinking that there would always be another chance, but then Tommy rejects Wilbur’s advances the next day and then the next day. Every time Wilbur feels more and more hurt and confused, not knowing why Tommy is treating him so coldly. He also thinks Tommy’s hiding something and desperately wants to know what it is but is told by Techno not be nosey and go snooping through Tommy’s things.

Meanwhile, Tommy is spending time with Spider SBI trying to get them back home. 

While they’re investigating, the Spider SBI want to get to know Tommy and ask him things like what his hobbies are, if he has friends, if he’s happy. In that time Tommy also gets to know his fellow spiders, about the ways that they’re similar and different from his own family

The Spider SBI are kind to him, they laugh at his jokes and tell him they don’t think he’s annoying. They are supportive, bandaging him up when he gets hurt, understanding his needs as a meta human, and helping him with some tricks they learned from their experiences as Spiderman

Tommy feels more love and care in a few days from the Spider SBI than he has felt from his actual family in 6+ years

One day, Spider Techno asks if his family is ok with him spending so much time away from the house, surely they must be worried about him, right? And all of a sudden it’s like a damn burst. Tommy tells them everything, about the twins being cruel and ignoring him before leaving for college and cutting contact for 6 years, about Phil barely being around during that time, about how the twins show up out of nowhere and how everyone expects things to back to the way things were.

To say the Spider SBI are pissed is putting it mildly, they are furious about how poorly their counterparts have treated Tommy over the years. They reassure Tommy that he did nothing wrong, that its his family’s fault and they don’t deserve him.

Tommy leaves the Spider SBI feeling lighter, reassured, and feeling a lot better about himself. But all of that comes crashing down when Tommy sneaks into his room only to find Wilbur standing there, holding one of Tommy’s spare spider suits

Being impatient and nosey, Wilbur had ignored Techno’s advice of not invading Tommy’s privacy and decided he needed to know what Tommy was hiding and he needed to know now, convinced that whatever he was hiding was the reason Tommy was being so distant. 

Wilbur hadn’t expected finding out that his younger brother was a freaking vigilante with superpowers

Wilbur then waits in Tommy’s room for his brother to return, and when he does, Wilbur confronts him about being Spiderman. He starts scolding Tommy about being reckless and stupid and about how dangerous his little hobby is.

He then asks Tommy if he even cares about how worried they all were, about how being Spiderman was clearly driving a wedge between their family and making him distant with everyone (because surely that was the only explanation for why Tommy didn’t want to be with his family)

Tommy. Fucking. Snaps.

Tommy screams at Wilbur that he has no right to say he’s been worried about him after being a shitty brother and never bothering to call once in the years he’s been gone. He keeps going and says how even before he left he wanted nothing to do with Tommy because he was “too annoying”

The commotion causes Phil and Techno to see what’s going on and they see Wilbur holding Tommy’s spider suit. Wilbur helpfully fills them in on his recent discovery that Tommy was Spiderman

Phil feels hurt, asking why Tommy never told to him, to which Tommy replies “Why would I? You’re never here.”

Tommy then goes on a well-deserved rant about how alone and abandoned he’s felt and how it is unfair for Phil, Wilbur and Techno to shut Tommy out of their lives for years only to now all of a sudden want to be a part of his own life. They didn’t care about him before, so why should they start caring about him now

Techno tells Tommy he’s being unfair, that they’ve always cared about him and have a right to worry about him because they’re family. Tommy just says he hasn’t felt like a part of the family in years before jumping out the window and running away

The next morning, Spider SBI find Tommy and ask him what’s wrong, to which Tommy tells them about what happened the night before and that his family found out his identity

Spider SBI are FURIOUS. Spider Wilbur is especially angry about how his counterpart acted

The Spider SBI tell Tommy he should go on patrol and beat up some bad guys to make himself feel better while they hold down the fort and make progress on how to get back to their dimensions

Tommy agrees and goes out, and as soon as he’s gone the Spider SBI start to plan

 So the Spider SBI go hunting and find their counterparts (who are all kicking themselves and wallowing in self-pity over what they’d done to Tommy, feeling horribly guilty and ashamed) and then proceed to kidnap them and bring them back to their base

Once there, the Spider SBI reveal their identities and then start tearing into this dimension’s versions of Phil, Wilbur and Techno, going on and on about just how shitty they were and that they don’t deserve Tommy

This is when Tommy walks in, back from patrol a little earlier than expected. He sees his family all tied up and being yelled out by the Spider versions of themselves and naturally is confused and concerned

When Tommy says that this treatment is a little much, the Spider SBI disagree, especially Spider Wilbur. 

He goes on about they need to hear this, that they need to realize just how badly they messed up and how much they’ve taken Tommy for granted and just how lucky they are to have him

Spider Wilbur then says he would do anything to have Tommy back in his life again

And of course, Tommy asks Spider Wilbur what exactly he means by then

As it turns out, Spider SBI all have something in common: shortly after gaining their powers, their version of Tommy died to a criminal, and his death inspired them to help others

In other words, Tommy is their Uncle Ben’

This is why Spider SBI reacted so strangely when they found out Tommy was this universe’s Spiderman and why they were so angry about their counterparts’ treatment of Tommy. Because in their universe, Tommy’s been dead for years and this universe’s SBI don’t realize just how lucky they are to have him in their lives

I haven’t figured out the exact details of the rest of the plot but I do know the ending

Spider SBI with the help of Tommy (and possibly regular SBI) manage to go back home to their own dimensions after defeating the villain. They all have an emotional and tearful goodbye, with Spider SBI telling Tommy that they’ll miss him and Tommy telling them that he’s sure their Tommy’s would be so proud of them

After that the Phil, Wilbur, and Techno of this dimension all apologize to Tommy for how they treated him and resolve to be better after finding out how much Tommy suffered and getting a wake up call from their Spider selves

Slowly, they become more involved in Tommy’s life, supporting and helping him out with being Spiderman when they can while also being there for him in his normal life

It takes a very long time with probably a lot of therapy, but very slowly the four of them heal and become a real family again

Wow that was a lot of writing. If you’re reading this it means you’ve made it this far and I’m really thankful you took the time to read my ramblings. I really hope you enjoyed this silly little AU, until next time!

[mysticalsoot]

updated and revamped my dbh/sbi au!!

[angelsandarsenic]

The Yakuza’s Guide to Babysitting, but make it the Syndicate’s Guide to Babysitting

[artistichermit]

I call this mess my Chrono Cross brainrot mixed with Minecraft block people.

Anyway, the context is I just wanted Bedrock Bros, and then Phil snuck in there after I remembered how sad I was that Lynx's connection to Serge just got a passing mention.

<Next>

[raisunomii]

Btw what the fuck is a “dark sbi au” these men are registered war criminals . If anything mafia is a step UP

[zircicada]

My ocs cyberknife and tomathy, techno and tommy for short😄

[grungyyuvu]

<- First comic / Next ->

Techno did what any normal person would do, and took the wild animal home without telling his dad. He's now having second thoughts, because this thing is now DEFINITELY going to eat him.

Alternate Tommy shots under cut!!

and, for that one person in the tags on the first comic, i drew this because i need you to experience Tommy's blue-eyed stare again <33 no brown contacts for this lil guy <3

[zorishy]

Ode To L’Manberg: My Unfinished Symphony

I’m back with the second work in my series presenting story of L’Manberg as written in my main DSMP au (Symphony of Gods and Dreamers). The lore dumps I have posted about this au can be found under the Zorishy’s Bursona Lore tag.

This poster covers the events of the Manberg vs. Pogtopia arc.

AU specific details in this poster:

Fundy has been aged down

Sally burned the flag and delivered Fundy’s “You had a dream and I followed it” line

Tubbo escaped the Manberg festival without being executed

Technoblade had no involvement in L’Manberg during this arc, only Pogtopia

Dream also had no involvement in this arc

Dream already had the revival book before the events of the server

Wilbur was badly injured in the explosion of L’Manberg and Phil killed him out of mercy

The button in the final control room was armed with TNT

The button Wilbur pressed to blow up L’Manberg was the one in the final control room

[nomsfaultau]

Techno usually just follows Phil around at parties but he had a date night :(

[fanartsandstuff]

"This song do not work well with *insert platonic/romantic ship* ! Their dynamic in the canon is so much different ! "

Well it works perfectly fine with my animation in my head full of my silly headcanons and AU's so-

[camenxi]

sharing my thoughts here too

[stressed-out-sloth]

SBI Vampire AU: Millennium Snow

A few months ago, I wanted to read some Vampire SBI fics, but I noticed that most of them have Dark!SBI, especially if Tommy starts out human. So I decided that I wanted to make a more wholesome crimeboys-centric vampire AU without Dark!SBI. Don’t worry, there’s still angst.

This Au is based on the manga “Millennium Snow”, which was created by the same author as Ouran Highschool Host Club. I highly recommend it, but this AU does have some minor spoilers about the manga so be warned.

Without further ado, here’s the AU!

Tommy is a human who was born very weak and sickly. He’s practically lived his whole life in the hospital. He’s determined to get better though, he constantly tells everyone about his list of things he wants to do once he’s healthy 

Unfortunately, Tommy isn’t always cooperative, which often leads to him escaping the hospital whenever he’s too bored of being cooped up inside

One day during one of his escapes, Tommy runs into Wilbur, who he accidentally discovers is a vampire

Being the curious little gremlin he is, Tommy is determined to follow Wilbur and pester him with questions about vampires. At first, Wilbur refuses but is worn down by Tommy’s stubbornness and persistence

So Wilbur tells Tommy about vampires, the kind of powers they have, how a lot of info about vampires are inaccurate. Eventually, they get to the topic about food and lifespans

Wilbur tells Tommy that the average vampire’s lifespan is around 1,000 years, and that usually when a vampire becomes an adult they look for a human to form a contract with.  

When a contract is made, the human will age at the same rate as a vampire, can’t get sick, and will heal from injuries slightly faster than normal. In exchange, the human becomes a consistent and reliable source of blood for the vampire. 

Both parties have to agree in order to establish the contract, it can’t ever be forced. Vampires can only make this contract once in a lifetime, if their contracted human dies they can’t do it again. The same goes for the human, and if the vampire dies then the human goes back to being a normal human

Wilbur tells Tommy he should have formed a contract a few years ago, but didn’t because he hates the taste of blood and can gain energy other ways

After Wilbur’s explanation, Tommy asks if he can see Wilbur again, and Wilbur agrees

For the next few days the two of them start hanging out and start to become friends. Tommy tells Wilbur about his list and all the things he wants to do (but doesn’t mention being sick/hospitalized) and Wilbur shows Tommy his music and tells stories about his family. 

But then, they witness a car accident. The driver is ok for the most part but they cut themselves pretty badly and are bleeding a lot. Tommy looks at Wilbur and sees that he has a wild, hungry look in his eyes

Tommy manages to drag Wilbur away and asks what happened. Wilbur confesses that he lied when he said he didn’t like blood and admits that he’s suffering from severe anemia because he refuses to drink blood

Tommy then begs for Wilbur to make the contract with him. Wilbur refuses and is actually hurt that Tommy would suggest that. He thought Tommy would be different, that he wouldn’t be greedy and ask to make the contract just because of a longer lifespan

Wilbur’s about to walk away when Tommy collapses all of a sudden. He is rushed to the hospital and all the doctors and nurses try to help him but there’s nothing they can do

Tommy is dying

Right before he dies, time freezes and there’s Wilbur. He tells Tommy that he can only freeze time for a few minutes, and that he wanted to talk to Tommy one more time

When Wilbur asks Tommy why he didn’t tell him he was sick, Tommy says he didn’t want pity and he wanted at least one person to not treat him like he was fragile

Tommy apologizes to Wilbur for asking to make the contract even though he knew there was a reason why Wilbur didn’t want to 

Tommy then confesses that he knew he was going to die soon, that he wasn’t going to get better no matter how much he wanted to. The list of things he wanted to do was just him lying to himself and to make others feel better

He thanks Wilbur for being his friend, for helping him make some good memories and staying with him in his last moments

Tommy then says he hopes that one day Wilbur will find someone to form a contract with, someone who will love and accept him no matter how ling they’re together

He thanks Wilbur for everything one last time before time restarts and Tommy is dying again

For a while, Wilbur just stands there, frozen, still comprehending what Tommy said. It isn’t until he hears the the heart monitor flatline that Wilbur decides he has to do something

He rushes to Tommy’s side and bites his wrist so that he’s bleeding and then somehow force feeds it to Tommy. A few seconds after he swallows, Tommy’s heart restarts

When Tommy wakes up, he’s surprised to find out that not only is he not dead, but that he somehow feels better than he has in a long time. He actually feels healthy

Wilbur pays Tommy a visit and explains that he gave Tommy his blood, which gave him some of his life essence. This has made Tommy 100% healthy, but it won’t last forever. Wilbur estimates that Tommy has a year before the life essence wears out and he’s back to being sick again

Tommy is more than fine with that, he now has a chance to get to do all the things he wanted to do once he was healthy. He invites Wilbur to come along, and he agrees

So Crimeboys go out on these adventures, trying to do as many things on Tommy’s list as possible before the year is up

Along the way, Tommy meets Phil, Wilbur’s vampire father along with Technoblade, Phil’s best friend, contract human, and pseudo-uncle to Wilbur. They all get along great and once Phil and Techno find out about Tommy’s situation, they decide to tag along 

As they go out on these adventures, Wilbur grows a lot closer to Tommy to the point where he sees him more as a little brother than a friend. He also slowly begins to heal from whatever trauma/insecurities made him not want to form a contract in the first place

Wilbur realizes that he doesn’t want his time with Tommy to end, he doesn’t want him to die. He wants Tommy to always be by his side, smiling and laughing and bickering the way brothers do

But Wilbur also doesn’t want to force Tommy into a contract if he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to take advantage of Tommy’s illness and essentially blackmail him. He wants Tommy to also want to make the contract. So he doesn’t bring it up

Tommy also feels the same way. He thought that knowing he would die in a year would make it easier to not have regrets, but that’s not the case. He doesn’t want to die, but more than that he wants to be with Wilbur (and also Phil and Techno)

But Tommy doesn’t want to be selfish and ask to make a contract when Wilbur doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want Wilbur to think he’s greedy and only wants to form a contract so that he’ll live longer. So Tommy doesn’t ask

Meanwhile, Techno, Phil, and everyone else around them are tired and frustrated because it is so obvious how they feel but they refuse to actually talk to each other

A year goes by and they got most of the things off of Tommy’s list. Soon enough, Wilbur’s blood wears off and Tommy is back to being sick in the hospital again

As they’re sitting together in the hospital together with Tommy slowly dying again, Tommy thanks Wilbur for everything he’s done for him. Tommy then confesses to Wilbur about wanting to form a contract so that they can stay together but was afraid to say anything because he didn’t want to seem selfish or greedy

Wilbur tells Tommy he also wants to form a contract, and when Tommy asks if he’s sure, Wilbur says there’s no one else he’d rather have by his side for the next 1,000 years

They form the contract then and there, Soon, Tommy fully recovers and leaves the hospital for the last time. He goes to live with Wilbur and with Phil and Techno, they go on even more adventures, together.

And that’s the AU! Wow that took a lot longer to write than I thought. Let me know what you think! Until next time!

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

[angelsandarsenic]

next up on Angel's Fic Idea Dump:

Necromancer!Tommy is trying to live a normal, very legal, life. He didn't mean to let ghosts into his boss' cafe, he didn't mean to meet the strange blonde man, and he's definitely not on the run from the police.

Necromancer!Philza wished he had never left his son. It was better this way, he tried to tell himself. Necromancers were illegal. Without Phil around, his family was safe and maybe the boy would never develop powers. Somehow, he still ended up with a rambunctious teenage apprentice.

Wilbur didn't want this. He was just a Normal Dude(tm) who liked the cafe down the street and wasn't sure how much he liked the bitchy blonde kid behind the counter. He did not know the blonde kid was a necromancer and he definitely did not mean to become his (future) undead servant. What. The. Fuck. (as if he's going to let some stupid teenager boss him around)

It had been a long, long time since Technoblade felt his heart beat. He missed the thrill of battle and he missed his friends. Technically he should be grateful to be "alive" again even though it hurt. His necromancer wasn't so bad, but his new apprentice? Oh boy.

(more under the cut)

Basically: Tommyinnit's Clinic for Supervillains, but make it ghosts and necromancy

----

There are three steadfast rules for working the closing shift at McPuffy’s:

1. The doors and windows must be closed and locked strictly by 10 and not a minute later

2. Absolutely do not forget to lay salt lines by the front and back doors and on the window sills before you leave

3. Make sure all the food is put away securely

Unfortunately, by some grievous oversight, Tommy was not informed of these rules. 

But it would probably be fine. Niki made sure to keep powerful protection charms and wards all around the cafe, just in case. Only a powerful necromancer could let ghouls in with those around, and L’manberg hasn’t seen a necromancer in decades.

        Niki had to leave work at the last minute, so when Puffy asked him to close, she forgot he was quite new, not just to McPuffy’s—her and Niki’s joint cafe and bakery, the local favorite—but also to the town itself. Tommy didn’t see this as an issue; he was not thinking about it because he wasn’t aware that it was important to be thought about at the time. He had also never had to leave late enough or come in early enough to notice the salt lines and the scattered grains on the tables before they were swept away so the customers wouldn’t have to see them either.

        So Tommy broke that rule. Not on purpose, of course, but he didn’t lay the salt lines. Niki had already started closing before she left, so there wasn’t much for him to do, thankfully, but as he was new to this and only got some vague instructions from Puffy before she also had to leave, was going considerably slower than she or Niki would have, trying to make sure he did it right. He didn’t really know the proper procedure for closing up, but that was fine. Tommy figured that if no one was here to tell him he did it wrong, then by default, he was correct. Of course he was—he was Big Man Tommyinnit, he was always correct in everything he did. He made sure to close down the espresso machine and restock milk for the next day, made sure all refrigerated items went back in the big fridge in the back and that the freezer for some of Niki’s ingredients was set to the right temperature and running and he wiped all the counters and pitchers. Somewhere along the way, he had put down the keys Puffy had given him and forgotten where, so that took several minutes of scouring all the counters and food storage areas to find again (they were right by the cash register, slightly hidden underneath). He locked the back doors and checked that the windows were closed—not that this was a dangerous area, but he didn’t know. It was better to be safe than sorry.

By the time he was walking around the back counter and heading for the door, the clock read 10:03.

Tommy thought he was doing great.

        As he was walking to the front doors, something caught his eyes. One of the tables simply looked off. The salt, pepper and sugar were filled, thanks to Niki, but- 

        Oh, well that was strange. Salt grains were spilled all over the top of the table and in no small amount. Tommy frowned and wiped all of it into a small white mountain in his palm. Niki was usually such a perfectionist, why would she leave all this? Actually, there were some on that table too. And that one!

        Completely bewildered, Tommy went around the entire cafe/bakery, swiping salt into a small trash bag (because two tables worth was more than he could fit in his hand), hardly even knowing what else to question about this. It was so out of the ordinary! Maybe she was feeling really sick and that’s why she had to leave? I should ask her if she’s ok. He shook his head and wandered into the back to throw the bag in the trash.

        When Tommy came out again, fiddling with the keys and ready to leave, he almost screamed. There, sitting at table 3 were two boys who most certainly were not there before and he didn’t hear them come in. Oh fucking hell, now I gotta tell these guys to go away. It would have been easier if they were adults, but they were kids, probably his age with no adult supervision either. Everything was harder with people his age.

        One was rather short, with fluffy, curly brown hair, in a green army jacket-ish thing with lots of pockets, turned away from him at the table and facing his friend. The other had split dyed hair, bright eyes and a sweater with sleeves rolled up over a white shirt. Tommy had never had issues with his vision, but he couldn't see them very well from over here. 

        Getting closer, he realized that both boys were pretty thin, the tall one especially (he must have been the tallest person Tommy had ever seen), with dark bags under their eyes and pale skin. That...was starting to paint a picture he didn't like. The tall one especially, again, was paler than death, but had darkness crawling up his wrists and in part of his hair, particularly encompassing the left half of his body. He turned his head to look at Tommy and before he immediately looked away again, Tommy caught the flash of green and red eyes.

What the fuck?

        Tommy stared. They must be fucking cosplayers or something, he decided. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, scolding himself for what he knew he was probably about to do. He stopped the the side of their table. "You guys know we're closed, right?"

        "The door was open," the short one replied innocently. Was it? I thought I closed it? Tommy could see the familiar gleam of cheek in his eyes--well, eye. The right one was grayish and dead looking. Tommy didn't comment on it, it wasn't his place.

        "The food is already packed away," Tommy told them, hoping they would get the hint and leave.

        "I'm sorry, we're just so hungry, please could you give us something?"

        "The food here is amazing," the tall one added. 

        Just as he predicted, Tommy caved. "Fuckin- fine. What do you want? Make it easy or you're not getting shit."

        "Ooh! Ooh! A honey bun!"

        "Just a tall iced chai and an egg sandwich for me please. Unless you guys finally put spaghetti on the menu. Did you?"

        "Does this look like Olive Garden to you? No we don't have spaghetti." The blonde rolled his eyes. "Alright, gimme a sec."

        Not that he was glad for it now, but at least he succeeded in putting the food away securely. It was a pain in the ass to get anything out again, but he grabbed an egg sandwich and a honey bun and popped them in the microwave together and started making the chai. Now, if anyone else comes in, you gotta tell them to fuck off, or you'll be here all night, he scolded himself. 

        The two boys were waiting patiently and chatting, both bursting into laughter every few minutes. Tommy almost wanted to go be apart of their conversation. Almost. One did not simply insert themselves into customers conversations, even if he wasn't going to make them pay. He turned back around and watched the microwave intently. A creeping chill started up his back that he couldn't ignore. It was sickeningly familiar, but no one else was here to call him strange or whisper about him in secret, so it didn't matter; he let it be even if it's very presence pissed him off. The microwave dinged. 

        When he turned around again the shadows in the corners seemed larger than ever before, but he was used to that, especially at night. Actually, it was surprising how little it had happened since moving here--Tommy almost dared to think-

        "Here you go." Both boys' eyes lit up when he placed the food in front of them. Almost literally. 

        "Thanks bossman!"

        "Yes, thank you!" It must have been Tommy's imagination, but they both scarfed down the food impossibly fast, mouths opening wider than they should be able too. In moments, everything (not that there was much) was gone. Tommy blinked in surprise, but once again decided not to think about it. Thank the gods for small mercies, he thought instead. Now he could go home. He swept his gaze once more around the cafe to make sure no one else had snuck in when he wasn't looking and cleared their table. 

        Turning around, he called out, "Alright, now it's time for you to leave-" but they were already gone.

        Tommy only stared for a moment before forcing a shrug and a sigh and walking out the doors, being careful to lock them behind him.

------------------

        The worst thing about working a closing shift was opening the next morning. Also his first time doing, but he again didn't think that mattered, especially when he was the one who closed the night before so even if he did it wrong, he knew where everything was and the boss would never know. Besides, first thing monday morning, the cafe and bakery were both pretty dead, so he had some time to himself. 

        After whipping up a quick macchiato for one of their regulars, Tommy let himself grab a pastry from the bakery stores and fucked around on his phone until someone else demanded his attention. His mind was idle enough that flappy bird was plenty to keep him busy, but his brain was also rude and decided to wake up and start thinking about everything else. Everything he shouldn't be. 

        The boy's mouth opened wide, the edges almost seeming jagged, but it must be a trick of the light, right? His lips are too thin, split with several thin lines of dried blood. The shadows flicker around him like friends-

        Stop. He wasn't thinking about that. Y'know what? He wasn't even sure it really happened. Must have been some weird fever dream. He was tired, they were just some late night assholes who don't know the meaning of the word "closed".

        The short boy's canines were sharp. Sharp enough that he noticed. Playful dark, dark blue eyes sat in a face so pale he looked like a gho-

Tommy's flappy bird crashed and died, little cowboy hat falling off when it hit the ground. 0/10. Not pogchamp.

        The blonde huffed and restarted the game, keeping careful eye on the number in the corner steadily ticking up, up, up-

        Their mouths were stretching, insides dark and empty, their limbs moved stiff and deadly still, not even the slightest quiver in the cafe's chill. When the tall one's hand moved in front of the purple mug on the shelf behind him, Tommy thought he could still see it, just faintly, the outline of it's delicate handle. They were see through they were see through not human not alive gho-

"Hey!"

        Tommy's head shot up and he had to hold in a spooked gasp, fumbling not to drop his phone. His eyes flickered around the front counter, for a moment not seeing the tall brunette until he dinged the little bell again. The tinny sound bounced around loudly in his skull, obnoxiously impossible to ignore.

-------

Foolish was muttering something frantically to Puffy with a horror stricken look. When Tommy got closer he could only hear her reply, “call the Exterminators”

It was later at the end of the shift when he overheard their conversation again. “They’re busy dealing with a necromancy job.” Tommy could feel the blood drain from his face and the exact moment Foolish noticed him. “Hey, Tommy, you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Foolish's chuckle at his own joke cut off abruptly when Puffy punched him.

--------

        "Um- I'm sorry sir, I'm not sure I'm legally allowed to give you that many shots."

-------

someone: are you a criminal?

Tommy: not here

------

"They're saying that the traveling necromancer has showed up in our city!" His heart rate was racing and blood static buzzed in his ears, blocking out some of Puffy and Foolish's conversation. "...all over the...Supposedly he's from Logstedshire-"

Tommy choked. Bile rose in his throat and he couldn't breathe from the way nausea was creeping higher and higher until he wanted to puke.

------ 

“Don’t worry,” the Hunter—Dream—said, putting a not-so-reassuring hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “I know a necromancer when I see one.”

———-

Tommy Innit is the name on all of his legal documents, the name on his library card and the name that'll be on his driver's licence if he ever gets a car, but considering that he's an 18 year old, living on minimum wage and on the run, that wasn't likely to happen soon.  Maybe he should have picked a name further away from Thomas-

-----

"What's your name, kid?"

"Tommy Innit."

The man frowned at him. "No, what's you're real name."

"That is my real name," Tommy answered through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to prove it to you?"

-----

"Now hurry the fuck up before I necromancy you to death" 

"That seems a bit counter intuitive, don’t you think?"

"Not the way I do it"

"And how’s that?"

"Stab and necromance."

It’s Tommy and Wilbur 100%

-----

Someone: it’s too late, he’s already dead

phil: *cracks knuckles* I didn’t get my medical liscence revoked for nothing

——-

"Just kill me already," Wil groaned.

-----

Technoblade hated being brought back from the dead.

The worst part was the cold. He has been fucking freezing since the moment he woke up and it’s barely gotten better. Oh, and not to mention the manner in which he woke up in the first place. He was screaming—not outwardly, his vocal cords hadn’t been used in decades, possibly centuries and they weren’t ready for that yet—everything was so loud and so painful and the voices came back almost immediately, giving him a splitting headache as if the burn in his lungs and the scratching of his throat and the mind numbing ache of his bones wasn’t bad enough. Technoblade had dealt with pain, but his nerves were fresh and he had never dealt with it well anyway. 

He couldn’t get up right away. At first he didn’t even know what had happened or that he was laying face up in a necromancer’s lair, much less that he was alive again, really. It was disorienting and confusingly numb and after the panic set in and then faded again once he could force himself to move again, he decided that his current state of Not-Quite-Alive-Not-Quite-Dead wasn’t really worth the experience. He had had a moment—only a moment really, to come to peace with the fact that he was dying when he did, and now he couldn’t even have that.

That was another thing. It was more uncomfortable than anything else, but he realized that he didn’t remember how he died. When he met the necromancer, he didn’t ask.

-------

"We can go with you, Phil, we love you, we don't mind!"

"It's not safe," he insisted.

"He's going to grow up without a father Phil!"

"He's going to grow up a normal fucking kid!"

That was the first time he had ever yelled at his wife. She accepted his rather tearful apology, but it was easier to leave after that.

---------

"Thomas Watson, you are under arrest for charges of blood manipulation, disrespect of burial grounds, summoning, and necromancy! Come out with your hands up!"

------ Title ideas------

Tommy Meets Some Definitely Not Ghosts

Tommy Becomes a Necromancer

Being Dead is No Excuse

Thomas Watson Doesn't Exist

This was supposed to be a three book series I'm so sad but I can't write all of this

[artistichermit]

The Chrono Cross brainrot mixed with Minecraft block people continues. It's still not over, I've got a bit left floating around in the ol' noggin.

Anyway, spoilers (kinda. Just for a major plot point and nothing else. This is a crossover AU after all.) for Chrono Cross beyond this point.

So anyway, everyone is having an awful time, except for Phil.

<Previous>

[that-sweet-jester]

I've yet again fallen into the superhero AUs

For those interested in checking my AU👀 pt.1 pt.2