#slapstick festival

[free-martinis]

A chance to see Martin Freeman live on Valentine's day!

[silverfoxstole]

Released on the Slapstick Festival Youtube account yesterday, this is Paul and Ralph discussing Withnail with Phil Jupitus at the event in January 2014.

[graemegardenappreciationsociety]

At the Silent Comedy Gala at the 2023 Bristol Slapstick Festival

[silentlondon]

Slapstick 2025: for the love of silent comedy

It’s supposed to be big mystery: what do women want from a romantic partner? But there is no mystery at all. GSOH every time. That’s good sense of humour, of course. So if you’re in anyway romantically inclined, you’ll already be asking yourself: what is the FUNNIEST way I can celebrate Valentine’s Day next year. Not to brag, but I do have the solution. Bristol’s Slapstick Festival runs 12-16…

[zero-zoxx-international]

Whoosh and Splash!!!, photo and digital work by Diego de Monte

[dorianbrightmusic]

Chapter 3 –Teal Mask Novelisation

(But with added dipplinshipping angst, of course.)

As they wander down from the monument, Juliana drinks in the landscape. Kitakami’s mountains roll out for miles. They haven’t changed since last night – not that mountains can change. Never mind how they’d flickered and shifted in the evening when she’d slipped out beneath the stars to measure the distances between the picture-book peaks. She’d etched into her memory where the rivers convulsed into deltas and the stalagmites drove stakes through the heart of the plains; and all the while, she’d pretended she was fending off jet lag, rather than an inexorable terror of black dormitory rooms and keening floorboards. At least it had gotten her out of the community centre. All bunk beds are identical in darkness, wooden jaws gaping, ever awaiting the chance to swallow her whole. At night, though, Juliana couldn’t have realised just how rich a purple the cliffside could be. Purple – majestic as dried blood, as charred skin. Even with the sun veiled by stratus haze, it’s freakishly vivid, staining the sky. Then again; everything’s been brighter, uglier, since Area Zero. She went in there with her neck stuck out, sniffing for trouble, and came out with her severed head stitched back on. (Not that anybody could see the scarring.) Arven keeps reassuring her she’s no less dependable, no less strong; and she just bites her tongue, since it’s not fair that, of the two of them, she’s the one who withered on the day Turo’s machine died. It’s harder nowadays to go about telling people she’s a champion-rank trainer – what kind of a champion breaks down crying when she Terastallises her Pokémon? But she just can’t bear their life-or-death shine – like every inch of light is a blade aimed straight at her. There’s apparently a pool that glows like a Tera Orb at the top of the mountain; if Juliana gets her way, she will never, ever lay eyes on it.

Thanks to @a-suspicious-lack-of-bagel for beta reading!

[bookhouseboy1980-blog]

Home Alone (1990) (Review)

Sub to my channel for more: https://www.youtube.com/@borednow5838/videos

[vetteltea]

Sebastian Vettel and Baking Christmas Treats [no warnings]

Day 3 of the Vetteltea Advent Calendar

You have never been able to understand how your husband brings such a gentle wave of peace to a household, but you would never complain. 

Complaining would be pointless, especially when the ability to keep such a peaceful home had gained you an extra hour in bed that morning. It would have been so simple to let sleep overtake you, bury your head into your husband’s pillow and drift back into slumber, but curiosity had taken the better of you.

For a start, there was music coming from downstairs, upbeat, festive songs floating through the open-plan kitchen and up the stairs. You could hear his voice, singing along to each song which came on, only seemingly more performative in his vocals as they continued. Without hesitation, you slipped on the dressing gown which he had lovingly left at the end of your bed, adjusting the blankets on the bed and slipping away from the bedroom. 

“Sweetheart?” Your footsteps were clearly not as subtle as you had intended. It either must have been that or the fact that you had stepped on the one creaky stair; both of you kept reminding one another it needed fixing, though with the life you both lead, sometimes it was easier to place a job aside for another day. “Are you coming to join?”

Stepping into the kitchen, you were certain you felt your heart melt and rejoin in various patterns. Your husband stood at the counter, blonde curls which he had finally let you trim still as unruly as when you had first met. He’s wearing an old t-shirt, his pajama pants are clearly stained, though to you he is still the most handsome man in the universe. In one hand, he holds a baking tray, shortbread biscuits already baked and if your visual clues are correct, ready for decorating. In the other, a blinking, smiling one-year-old, her curls identical to her father, but blessed with your eyes. 

“Good morning, Momma!” His voice raises an octave, gently bouncing your daughter in his grasp and placing down the baking tray, his free hand now motioning you over. Your routine settles in, pressing a soft kiss to your daughters forehead, another to Sebastian’s lips. 

“Are we decorating, then?” You adjust the sleeves of your dressing gown, making sure that they won’t dip into the icing or sprinkles he had already bought out. It had become a tradition when you were first dating, long before the birth of your daughter or even moving in together; the first weekend of December was for making Christmas Cookies and watching movies. Whereas last year was some slapstick about a holiday romance, you were more than excited to flick back to an animation this year for the youngest member of the family. 

The youngest member in question has already transfixed onto the bright colors of the icing and sprinkles, cooing loudly and attempting to reach her tiny hand to grasp at the decorations. Your husband has always been a firm believer in physical development, hence why he gently leant forward, letting her hands grab onto what he thought would be one of the cookies they had baked whilst you had been asleep. 

It all happens too quickly for you to stop; one hand dips into the royal blue icing before lifting dramatically at the sensation, flinging her tiny paw away from the counter and into your husband’s face, his chin and lips now frosted in icing. 

For a moment, you think you’re about to have a crying baby and an annoyed husband - but, this is Sebastian. More importantly, his daughter inherits so many of your traits, though one which he holds close to his heart; the ability to laugh and smile anything off. Immediately, your daughter falls into a bout of giggles, her father being painted bright blue clearly amusing.

And of course, you can’t disagree, laughing alongside the baby as you walk over to the drying rack, collecting some kitchen paper to wipe away the frosting. 

“Thank you, my darling.” He shakes his head at the grinning baby, still in fits of giggles as you gently take her hand, wiping away the remaining icing, before turning the attention to your husband, gently cleaning his jaw and chin. When the icing only remains on his lips, you pull away, smirking. 

“I think you missed-” He begins, before realizing your intentions, his own grin mirroring your own. Lips are finally back on his own, the feeling of kissing you always identical to the first time; how his heart had raced and was shocked to believe it was actually happening. You were kissing him. 

He would have kept it up, completely forgotten the cookies for another hour, if he hadn’t felt a tiny hand on his cheek, a whine from his daughter. The moment he pulls away, her tiny face is pressed to yours, adamant that she now wants kisses from her mama. The two of you trade her off, letting her nuzzle into your chest and blink up at your face whilst keeping eye contact with her father. 

“Traitor.” He mumbles. “My own girls are against me!” It’s said with nothing but the sincerest amount of love, really. 

“Awah, she just wants to decorate cookies, don’t you?” Your attention presses to look at the baby, kissing the top of her forehead. Sebastian doesn't hesitate this time in stepping forward, his arm around your shoulder as you both step back towards the cookies, keeping traditions whilst adding a third member to the memories.

[safedistancefrombeingsmart]

🥳

“We are thrilled beyond words that Martin has agreed to host our 20th birthday gala,” says Slapstick director Chris Daniels. “He is known and loved worldwide for a huge variety of iconic roles, but what makes him extra perfect for the festival is that he is charming, witty and a genuine admirer of the comedies and comedians Slapstick champions.”

[panelshowsource]

David Mitchell shares his Top Comedy Moments • Slapstick Festival

Join us for a special live event where the Legendary Peep Show Star and Would I Lie to You Team Captain, David Mitchell, shares his all-time favourite comedy films! Originally hosted by Slapstick Festival, in Bristol January 2022, this exclusive event dives deep into David's comedic genius and his comic influences. David reflects on the highlights of his incredible career and the moments that have shaped his journey in comedy.

[beanieman]

I got inspired by horror movie anon and now I have to ask. What role would the cast play as if they were in a romcom? I think putting them in that would be hilarious

Sara Chidouin - Sara is the lead's best friend who will be the wing man throughout the story. She will accidentally cause more problems then she will solve, but it's the thought that counts.

Joe Tazuna - Since Joe is the only character who is confirmed to have partner, he's the lead trying to impress the girl in the most goofy way possible because he's nervous to just ask her out.

Gin Ibushi - Gin is the love interests child who the main character is trying to impress. Of course, it won't be easy and it'll take 3/4 of the movie, but the heartwarming end payoff will be worth it.

Keiji Shinogi - Keiji is the parent the love interest is really worried about impressing, but he is comically chill about everything.

More Undercut

Alice Yabusame - Alice is the random celebrity cameo that's only there for the comedy. He appears for everyone to go "Wow! Alice Yabusame is in this movie!" and then the main character accidentally backhands him or something.

Reko Yabusame - Reko's role is to preform the end of movie band performance where a musician plays an upbeat song to close things out.

Nao Egokoro - Nao is the quirky main character who drives most of the comedy but also has a large arc about believing in her painting skills.

Kazumi Mishima - Mishima is the wise stranger that approaches the main character with life altering advice for the part of the movie that gets really serious.

Q-taro Burgerberg - Q-Taro is the baseball player who hits a rouge ball that knocks a soda out of the main characters hands and into the love interests lap.

Kai Satou - Kai is the oblivious love interest that the main character has a crush on. Most of the movie is just the wacky hijinks that take place trying to show Kai that the main character has feelings for them.

Kanna Kizuchi - Kanna is the matchmaker who's trying to convince everyone to date each other. She's really good at her goal and ends up pairing all of the main couples.

Shin Tsukimi - Shin is the guy that's just there for a slapstick gag. He probably gets hit by a car or something and is then never addressed again.

Dolls

Ranmaru Kageyama - Ranmaru is the main lead that will likely be surrounded by discourse because he gets rejected like ten different times but still gets the girl because he's whiny "persistent."

Naomichi Kurumada - Naomichi is the straight man who is tired of all these hijinks going on around him. The main character shows up at his door asking how they can get a cardboard cut out of their crushes favorite celebrity crush, and he slams the door in his face.

Anzu Kinashi - Anzu is the friend who almost accidentally tells the love interest that the main character has a crush on them and the main character has a whole scene dedicated to trying to shush her in a wacky fashion.

Mai Tsurugi - Mai is the lead in a Christmas rom-com. She's the bubbly owner of a bakery, trying to add more fun to her life by being festive. Unfortunately, her mean boss hates Christmas. Thankfully, she meets her love interest, who will go through various wacky hijinks to raise enough money to buy the bakery for her.

Shunsuke Hayasaka - Shunsuke is the boyfriend who travels a lot for work. The main character ends up cheating on him when she gets with the film's main love interest, who values fun and spontaneity over financial stability.

Hinako Mishuku - Hinako is the main characters cynical child who is actively trying to sabotage their parents love life because they aren't ready to move on from the past.

[thegreatyin]

How has ur three guys' christmas been so far

the scoundrel has had a weirdly really heartwarming christmas so far, especially considering she is 1) the scoundrel and 2) literally got a letter from her evil(er) clone telling her to kill herself no i'm not exaggerating with that statement. she's probably giggling and kicking her feet and fawning over all of the flowers and songs and paintings people have sent her in the mail and overall she is just generally having a GREAT time and it is SO fucking unfortunate because It's The Scoundrel and when she isn't being evil slapstick comic relief something has gone deeply wrong regarding the very fabric of the universe

the scientist is mostly experiencing his... usual genre of horrors, though he has gotten a few very kind gifts from acquaintances both likely and unlikely. and also snudes (snake nudes). he's spending this particular christmas like he's spent the last few in-universe weeks- tucked away in his lab going through a weird fucked up mix of the world's worst bout of depression and also somehow the world's worst manic episode. yes, both of those things simultaneously. he's not doing well but also this has probably been the best week he's had since before the nemesis finale, purely by virtue of his loved ones going out of their way to give him things and get in contact with him and just generally forcing him to acknowledge that he is in fact a person who means something to others and does in fact have some amount of relative worth

the songbird has gotten virtually no christmas-specific festivities. he's just, like. Vibing? neutrally?? gameplay-wise, he's currently having spider symposium adventures while i scramble to get puzzle-demask scraps for the next part of light fingers. so that's. that's technically the answer for how his christmas has been. I Guess. he's been spending it with spiders. he's probably terrified out of his mind about it. he really really really really doesn't want to lose his only remaining eye, thank you very much

[silverfoxstole]

Paul’s upcoming singing gig!

[silentlondon]

Ossi, Marion and Julie: Gender Rebels in Bristol

A quick note about an event I am taking part in, in Bristol this month. The Slapstick Festival is hosting a day devoted to “Gender Rebels”, with a triple-bill of films on the theme of early-20th-century cross-dressing, starring Ossi Oswalda, Marion Davies and Julie Andrews: I Don’t Want to be A Man (Ernst Lubitsch, 1918) Beverly of Graustark (Sidney Franklin, 1926) Victor/Victoria (Blake…

[resisteverything]

I.M.P. are pathetic.

Let’s count all the episodes and who resolves what conflict, more specifically who beats one villain. Beating a villain counts for half, doing something that stops their plans but doesn’t beat them half counts. Resolving a conflict with no attached antagonist, or beating an unimportant villain, those half count.

1. Murder family: Blitz shoots Murder Mom.

2. Loo Loo Land: Blitz kills Robo-Fizz but it doesn’t actually matter.

3. Spring broken: Millie kills the fish but that’s not revelant and the actual conflict ends on a draw.

4. C.H.E.R.U.B.: The plot ends in a slapstick joke rather than any character doing any one thing to resolve the conflict:

5. Harvest moon festival: Striker is defeated by no one and gets away in the end.

6. Truth seekers: The plot is resolved by Stolas. Millie and Loona were partially helpful but the ending negated all that and made it entirely Stolas’s doing.

7-10. No villain to speak of. For four episodes. Of this action series about killing people. Season one was 8 episodes, this is four episodes straight. Brilliant.

11. Exes and Oohs: Millie rescues Moxie from Crimson.

12. Western energy: Moxie and Millie defeat striker as a team. Finally an ending where Moxie beats a villain, except it was also with Millie who delivers the striking blow.

13. Unhappy campers: The guy is killed by a stray rocket which had nothing to do with the conflict, and the guy in question is just an excuse for the real conflict to occur.

14. Oops!: Fizz and Blitz break themselves out and Blitz beats Striker.

15. Mammons mid season who gives a fuck: Blitz kills the stalker but he’s not relevant, and Ozzie stops mammon by revealing his secret.

Let’s count:

Blitz beats the main villain in 3 of these episodes, and in 1 of them that villain isn’t a real villain but some guy Blitz picked a stupid fight with, half a point. He saves himself with the help of Fizz which is another half. He gets the stalker but he was not a real villain so no extra pointsso his final score is:

3 wins

Millie does it one and a half times, the fish being an extra half adding up to two times.

Her score is 2 wins.

Moxie has claim to literally half a villain takedown.

His score is .5 wins.

Now random coincidence scores a 3 for Verosika, Barbie Wire’s grooming victim, and the Cherubs… which is the same score as Blitzo.

This does not count the incidental goons from truth seekers because fighting those accomplished nothing in the end.

Stolas resolves stops Dhorks so his score is a one, higher than Moxie even though he’s not part of IMP.

Fizz helps Blitz escape a deadly situation, that’s a half. He scores the same as Moxie, which is deranged since he’s a side character in his first major appearance.

Ozzie defeats mammon which would be a full point because mammon was about to kill Fizz, except he does it super easy without any violence so that’s a half point. Once again the same score as Moxie.

Also we have Non combat episodes, if you count them you’d say Millie hitting Fizz was a victory because he was a relevant antagonist, so half a point for her putting her at 2.5 because he was the conflict but not a villain. Loona resolved the conflict of Queen bee by driving Blitz home which I am not counting because that was just the situation ending, like it would have anyway. But I will count that she was the one who actually found Octavia because that was the point of seeing stars. So that’s half a point for her actually, because there was no villain but she did solve the problem. And I gives stolas has half a point for the divorce, one and a half points higher than Moxie. A lot of half points.

Let’s compare this to a real show, Avatar, with its first fifteen episodes:

1. Boy in the iceberg: Aang turns himself in and gets Zuko to leave.

2. The avatar returns: Aang escapes the ship and takes down Zuko, Katara takes down the guards.

3. The southern air temple: Zuko defeats Zhao in a fight during his subplot. He counts.

4. Warriors of Kyoshi: Aang beats Zuko and puts out the fire in the village.

5. King of Omashu: Aang wins Bumi’s challenges.

6. Imprisoned: Katara does the prison break.

7. Winter solstice part one: Aang gets Hei Bai to choose peace by reminding him that the forest can heal.

8. Winter solstice part two: Katara’s plan is what gets them through the door, and Avatar Roku saves them.

9. The water bending scroll: Sokka gets the villains fighting amongst themselves so they can escape with Aang and Katara’s water bending.

10. Jet: Katara takes down Jet and Sokka saves everyone.

11. Great Divide: Aang stops the sand crawlers.

12. The storm: No villain this episode.

13. The Blue spirit: Zuko saves Aang from the Yuyan archers.

14. The fortuneteller: No villain but Sokka does get to be useful guiding the village to make a wall and Aang lavabends the lava.

15. Sokka uses the perfumes to incapacitate the mole monster. That victory was entirely his idea and his doing.

So in the end:

Aang has six full victories and two that i’m half counting.

7 Win points.

Katara has 3 proper victories and two that half count,

4 win points.

Sokka has one solo victory and three things that i’m half counting.

2.5 win points.

Zuko scores two victories.

2 victory points.

Roku has one. He is the only person to save the heroes for them and he’s technically the same person as Aang so that’s not even what that is.

And only one episode fully lacks an antagonistic force.

Also if we balance it out on the fact Avatar is different, Team Avatar would score even higher because fifteen episodes to Avatar is six episodes to Helluva boss, since the shows lengths are different.

Also plot wise, team Avatar is new to the whole Hero business, But IMP are pretty experienced in killing.

While you could say it might be unfair to compare Helluva boss to Avatar… sue me.