#skz 9th member angst
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leeknowsyou ยท 6 months ago
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ot8 skz asking their contact name
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pairing. ot8 skz x reader genre. fluff, smau warning. cursing a/n. sorry for the inactivity ๐Ÿซถ
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a/n. reblogs are appreciated <3
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weedforthoughtz ยท 1 year ago
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๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ท๐˜‚๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น๐˜€.โ€”
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๐˜ธ/๐˜ค: 0.7๐˜ฌ + ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฑ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ
๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ด: ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ด๐˜ต, ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ข ๐˜ซ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ
๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜บ: ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ. ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜บ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ช ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ, ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ, ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ. ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต.
๐˜ข/๐˜ฏ: ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ (๐˜ข ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐Ÿ’€)
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๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ต: ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต
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You were rushing out of the JYPE building. You were just about to be late with meeting an old friend. Anyone passing by you could only just see a blur of you, then you were gone. You were now in the elevator and it felt close to years before you finally were on the ground floor and trying to rush past the many workers and get yourself out of the doors.
You were almost there.
You had finally opened the doors and then felt a searing pain on your stomach. You hurriedly looked down at your shirt and there was a huge stain of boiling hot coffee on your shirt. Taking a few steps back and looking up, you see the woman holding the cup, she was livid.
She could barely contain herself before she started going off on you.
In her rant you figured out that she knew you, she knew Stray Kids. And best believe she hated you. And you only.
She was going on about how she just despises that there is a girl so close to her beloved Stray Kids and how she wishes you would drop dead one day. And now that you spilled her coffee, she finally expressed her displeasure to you.
She finally took a breath and calmed herself down. She took a step back and really looked at you. You could feel the disgust in her gaze. She scoffed and pushed your shoulder while walking into the building, likely having work to do with someone in corporate.
You almost started crying after that interaction. The walk to the nearby coffee shop where you were meeting your friend felt slow.
Like time slowed.
Your whole body felt rigid up until you entered the calming atmosphere of your new favorite coffee shop.
You spotted your friend and went to sit next to her. She had ordered both of your drinks already so all you had to do was wait. It was kind of awkward at first and you quickly zoned out to the interaction from earlier. Small tears welled up in your eyes and you looked out of the window to the dark skies, trying to stop the tears from falling.
You went back to the dorms to change into your workout clothes for dance practice scheduled later. When you finished getting changed, you called one of the group drivers to drive you to the JYPE building. You walked into the building and went to the dance rooms. Everyone was there and you started after a couple of minutes of just hanging out in each otherโ€™s presence.
Seungmin was looking at you while you were sitting on the couch with Felix laying down on your lap. He noticed you seemed more tired than usual, downcast even. But he decided to say nothing, hoping that you would tell the kids yourself.
Dance practice continued as normal but you could tell that you were just having a bad day. You were practicing some of your old dance choreography and you couldnโ€™t get some of the moves down. And everyone noticed how agitated Minho was getting.
He could only last another hour with you before he justโ€ฆsnapped.
He mustโ€™ve had a lot feeding to his attitude because he had never snapped at you like this. He stopped and just got all in your face and was now yelling his heart out at you about how useless you were. You seemed like nothing in his eyes.
You felt useless in front of him.
The tears that had been in your eyes all day had finally come out and you couldnโ€™t stop yourself from crying. You wanted to hide in the comfort of your room.
He wouldnโ€™t stop. The kids were mortified for you. They all stopped but no one wanted to put him in a worse mood than he already seemed to be.
When he started yelling at you about why you even joined Stray Kids, you just rushed out of the room with all of your things. Some of the kids rushed after you before you left the building and some stayed with Minho to help calm him down and make him reason with himself.
Minutes later he finally calmed down and realized he majorly screwed up.
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๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ: @skz-streamer
๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ช๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต
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lixie-phoria ยท 10 months ago
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โ†ณ โ™กโ‚Šหš. rest please ๊’ฑ
9th!member reader falling sick from overwork and stress
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requested - yes // Would you be able to possibly do a skz x ninth reader where sheโ€™s not feeling well and like throws up everywhere, and chan and the members help her though her not feeling well then specifically chan?
gn!reader x ot8 // warnings - reader is overworked, faints, mentions of diets, reader throws up (lmk if I missed anything!)
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there is only one bang chan. you're sure of it. but as you stand up from the floor of the dance room, you see double images of your leader looking at you in confusion.
"yn?"
his voice resonates through your head, like an echo from someplace far, concern woven through his urgency.
you should probably reply to him, right?
"yn? can you hear me?"
when he steps forward, the world shifts. a searing pain runs across your head, like a red hot spike drilling into your skull.
"wha-"
you see it happen in the mirror - your figure collapsing onto the ground, jeongin's panicked yell, and the thud that follows immediately after before everything goes black.
it was just the three of you in the practice room that day, the others too busy with vocal training or recording or filming. it was comeback season, and to top things off your solo project was nearing too, closely following the release of your group album. and to say that you were overworked was an understatement. you don't remember the last time you slept for longer than an hour.
your days revolved around practice, recording, photo shoots, diets, promotions, and what not. this was busiest you have ever been, and it was slowly starting to show.
you register a dull pain in your upper arm and the throbbing of your head as you blink up at the bright ceiling lights glaring at you. you're covered in sweat, lying on the couch with your head awkwardly propped up against it's arm rest.
"she's up!" someone shouts as your senses return to you slowly. you're still in the dance room, but everything feels stuffy. someone is pressing an ice pack against your forehead.
"yn you scared us!"
all the members seem to have assembled in the dance room, crowding over your figure.
"what happened?" your voice is hoarse and your head feels groggy as you sit up, leaning away from felix as he tries to push you back down.
"you fainted! you were out for nearly fifteen minutes!"
"what?"
"yeah. scared the life out of chan hyung," jeongin adds.
"of course she did! do you know how worried we were?"
you feel mortified. you can't believe you fainted in the middle of practice.
"are you ok? does anything hurt? you fell pretty hard."
you shake your head - no. of course, the pounding in your head was getting worse and you were sure you bruised your arm but you weren't going to tell them that. being the maknae meant they already babied you a lot. there was no way you would admit how sick you felt.
"alright good. let's leave then."
"leave?" you stare at chan in confusion as he goes to unplug his phone from the speaker.
"yeah. you don't think we're going to let you dance after this, right?"
your eye twitches in mild annoyance as you listen to him speak so matter of factly.
"how come i don't have a say in this?"
"because the last time we let you have your say, you passed out."
"i'm ok! i don't need a break," you hiss, eyes narrowing as chan turns to look at you exasperated.
"yn-"
"i passed out, so what? big deal! you can't just call off practice when we have an album coming out!"
your voice escalates as you snap, and the others look at you in shock.
"yn calm down-"
"stop asking me to calm down!"
you don't know where the burst of annoyance was coming from, but it was strong and red hot, urging you to take it out on your members.
"i'm fine! stop treating me like a baby!"
you push away felix's hand from your shoulder, standing up to prove your point.
but that was a big mistake.
an ugly feeling immediately rises up your chest, slithering through your throat as the world tilts again and the lights blink at you.
"fuck."
you were far from fine, and that is the last thing you register before pushing past lee know and han, running out of the room and to the nearest washroom you can find, heaving your insides out.
it's terrible, kneeling on the ground as your head pounds worse than ever and flashes fill your vision.
"yn!"
you distantly register chan's panicked voice as he skids into your cubical, wasting no time in kneeling down right beside you, pulling your hair up into a makeshift pony.
"i need you to breath, ynnie. let it all out," he whispers softly, rubbing a soothing hand up and down you back as your body tembles from the gags.
a small part of you wonders what chan is doing in the washroom, before realizing that in your hurry you probably ran into the common staff bathroom.
"are you feeling better?"
chan's hands hover behind your back as you weakly get to your feet, mustering the energy to pull the flush and rinse your mouth with water.
you can do nothing but nod, slumping against him as you exit the bathroom, and his hands immediately clasp your waist, holding you up.
"i'm so sorry," you mumble, closing your eyes as you let him guide you to wherever he decided was best.
"it's not your fault."
"i shouldn't have yelled at you."
"it's ok, yn. we all have our bad days."
you feel the cold breeze on your face as you open your eyes to see he's walking you out of the building's back door, with your manager waiting with the car.
"if I take you to the dorms will you please rest?"
your brain wants to refuse. you need to perfect your choreography. you don't have time for rest.
but your body is an entirely different story. you can barely walk or see straight.
"ok."
your voice is small, and chan immediately knows you're reluctant.
you hear him sigh softly as he helps you into the car before climbing in himself.
"ynnie, please rest. or you'll get worse and might not recover until the release day. wouldn't that be worse?"
he does have a point.
"and taking a break is okay. you're doing so well, you don't have to push yourself when there's nothing you're lacking in."
he ruffles your hair softly as you lean into the seat.
"thank you."
"don't thank me when I didn't even realise how overworked you were until you literally collapsed!"
you laugh softly, slightly leaning down to rest your head against his shoulder.
"don't blame your-"
you're cut off when Chan's ringtone blares into the silence and he jumps slightly, fishing out the device from his pocket.
"fuck."
"what's wrong?" You turn to look at his steadily paling face.
"I forgot to tell the others you're okay and I'm taking you back to the dorms."
"shit," you agree, wincing as chan hesitantly slides the accept button.
"hello...?"
"YAH WHERE ARE YOU BOTH WE'VE BEEN SEARCHING THE BUILDING FOR THE PAST 10 MINUTES IS YN OKAY?"
lee know is loud, and chan has to lean away from his phone as the second oldest's voice comes out loud enough as though he's on speaker.
"minho-ah I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you guys. She's okay now we're going to the dorms."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT?"
you sigh before taking the phone from chan as his wince deepens.
"I'm okay. I'm so sorry for worrying you but please calm down."
the change in lee know's voice is so immediate it earns a snort from chan.
"oh yn, of course! Please take care, I'll bring back some soup and ramen for you when we come back from practice."
"thank you! Now please stop worrying."
you hand back chan his phone as he flashes you a grateful smile.
"i hope he brings me back ramen and soup too."
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ยฉlixie-phoria, 2024
taglist - @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)
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skzstannie ยท 10 months ago
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Hii itโ€™s okay if you canโ€™t but I was wondering if you could do a skz x 9th member reader where she was in a car crash as well as the others? But she was badly injured as well and had to be looked after by chan because she wasnโ€™t in good condition? Totally okay if you canโ€™t thanksโค๏ธ
"You're awake!"
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member!reader (Chan-centric)
genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~3,200 cw: some cussing, car accident, reader and skz get hurt
summary: ^^ see request
A/N: Hello! Not super happy with how this came out, but I hope you still like it anon! Started a new semester, so updates will be less frequent, but I'll still be lurking in everyone's feed through likes and reblogs ๐Ÿ‘€
Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!
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"I'm just saying, if penguin's could fly, I think they'd take over the world."
"Felix, literally what are you talking about?" you give him a strange look from where you're seated diagonal from him in the car.
"If penguins ever learned to fly, I think they'd try to overthrow the government in a vengeful fury."
You all sit in silence for a moment, trying to preserve the last of your braincells from deteriorating.
"Okay..." Seungmin responds, quirking his eyebrow at him.
"I am so excited for tonight!" you break the silence that settles, practically vibrating in your seat from the excitement.
"We know, you haven't stopped talking about it," Minho boredly comments, his phone lighting up his face from the shadowy back seat.
Jeongin throws an elbow in his side from where he's seated beside him, earning himself a nasty glare from the man. "Don't be mean to Ynnie, she's just excited to perform."
"I'm so sorry. Let me rephrase that," he clears his throat, setting his phone down in his lap, "Oh my gosh, I know! It's all you've talked about since this morning!" he squeaks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," you mumble, rolling your eyes at your grumpy member.
Before Minho has the chance to respond, your entire world is shaken when another car T-bones you from the right.
Time seems to slow down as the car is flipped, sending you out of your seat towards the ceiling of the car. Your seatbelt manages to control some of the damage to your head, but it slices into your neck from the pressure. Blood starts to drip out of your wound, but you don't even feel it as your hazy gaze travels over to your members.
Your breath hitches in your throat as your eyes land on Felix's still body in the back seat, his eyelids draped shut. He doesn't appear to have any other injuries, but you're immediately ripped away from the sight of Felix when you hear Minho groan in pain. You Jeongin a quick once over, and upon seeing no visible injuries, keep your eyes moving. You don't miss the way Jeongin's hands are firmly grasped around Felix's forearm as he shakes the older man, trying to wake him.
It's painful to twist in your seat, but you do so anyway. Catching a glimpse of Minho, you see a jagged piece of glass protruding out of his forearm. It appears small, but you know it must still hurt like a bitch. Other than that he looks okay, so you continue to look over your remaining members. His eyes are panicked as he frantically looks over the four of you. "You guys ok?" his voice shakes with fear, and his teeth are clenched from the pain radiating from the glass in his arm.
The ringing in your ears starts to subside a bit, and the grunts coming from your right get louder. Seungmin's arm is twisted at an unnatural angle, and there's blood dripping from his left eyebrow. You can't bring yourself to answer Minho, the shock still clouding your mind.
As the rest of your senses start to come back to you, your focus remains on Seungmin as he huffs in pain. You feel a stinging sensation in your thigh, but as you slowly start to drop your head to look, you feel a shaky finger reach under your chin.
Seungmin's reached his hand out, gently pulling your chin until your eyes meet his again.
"Just keep looking at me, Yn," he whispers. You do as you're told, but the pain is worsening by the second, and your breathing starts to quicken.
All else is tuned out as your eyes remain on Seungmin's unwavering gaze.
Seconds feel like hours as you sit there in the car. Your eyelids start to become heavy, and you fuzzily catch Seungmin's eyes turn frantic as your blinks become slower and more frequent.
"Just keep your eyes open, don't fall asleep," he repeats. His word are gentle at first, but as your mind turns to mud, his voice becomes louder and urgent, almost screaming at you. You feel a rough hand grab your shoulder from behind, shaking you. Their attempts to keep you awake are futile, though, as everything becomes too much for you to handle.
"No, don't close your eyes! Stay with me!" and that's the last thing you hear before you drift off into the darkness.
~ ~ ~
You're awoken to the sound of quiet repetitive beeping.
Opening your eyes is a task all in itself, your eyelids feeling impossibly heavy.
After a moment of struggle, you're met with the bright light from a window to your right. You slowly turn your head to the side, and you see Hyunjin, Chan, and Changbin all perched on the couch. It looks uncomfortable, the way all three of them are scrunched up on the little loveseat.
You let your gaze linger on them for a moment, their presence providing a calming sensation for your jumbled mind.
Suddenly, your surroundings overwhelm you. You become terribly aware of all the wires connected to you. The ECG stickers become your biggest enemy, and the IV sticking out of your hand makes you angry.
Really angry.
You groan when you try to lift your arm, a sharp, shooting pain radiating down from your shoulder. You push through the pain though, urgent to remove all these wires from your body. The bandages littering your body feel as if they're burning your skin, and you've never needed to get something off of you faster.
You begin to peel the bandages from your arms, the pain from the adhesive no match for the pain you had been feeling previous to their removal.
Your agonistic groans manage to wake Changbin, and he panics when he sees you frantically tearing at your ECG stickers.
He jumps up from the couch, earning a yelp from Hyunjin as he was using Changbin as a pillow.
You're too overwhelmed to care about their actions as you continue to tear at your skin, even the blankets covering your body feeling like burning coals on your skin.
"Woah, what are you doing? You can't take those off yet," Changbin tells you, rushing to your side to try and restrain your arms.
"They're hurting me," you mumble, wretching your arms out of Changbin's grip to continue to pull at everything that touches you.
"Yn," Hyunjin gasps, quickly standing to his feet, running over to help Changbin.
Chan awakens from the commotion, alarm bells immediately sounding in his head when he sees your panicked movements.
You become more frantic when Hyunjin grabs one of your arms from Changbin, rendering you immobile.
"Get off!" you screech, yanking on your arms as hard as you can. Chan quickly runs out of the room in search of any healthcare professional he can find.
"You're gonna hurt yourself," Hyunjin struggles against you, holding tightly onto your hand.
"Let me go!" you continue to scream like a banshee, "You're hurting me!"
Neither do as you say, fearing for what you'll do to yourself if they listen.
"You're ok," Changbin pleads, bringing one of his hands away from your arm to rest it gently on your forehead. "Please calm down, everything will be ok."
You're too panicked to notice Chan re-enter the room, a nurse trailing in behind him.
She has a shot in her hand, and she hurriedly comes up beside Changbin to administer the drug. She hastily inserts the needle into your upper arm, and it only takes seconds for your demeanor to soften. Your thrashing becomes weaker, and your shouts become quieter, turning into soft mumbles.
The guys let out a sigh upon seeing your eyes close, your stature finally relaxing into the hospital bed once again.
"What the hell was that?" Hyunjin huffs, slightly out of breath from the physical altercation.
"Sometimes patients can be violent when they wake up out of a coma. It can happen to anyone," the nurse explains, taking the chart off the wall beside the bed. "We'll get some soft restraints to put on her arms before she wakes up again. It's unlikely for her to panic again, but it's just a precaution."
The guys nod, all three of them staring at your now peaceful face.
~ ~ ~
The next time you wake up, you feel as if you're experiencing deja vu. Your eyes open slowly, and you wince at the feeling of them being crusted over from sleep.
You also become strikingly aware of the aching pain radiating from your thigh. Your leg remains immobile, and you feel the constricting cast running from your mid thigh down to your ankle.
You go to bring your hand up to rub your face, but your movements are restricted. Your attention is brought to your hands, now laying limply by your side. There are restraints covering your wrists. Your face contorts into an expression of confusion, and you glance at the couch to your right.
Seated there are Chan, Hyunjin, and Changbin. Your deja vu hits you harder when you see them resting against one another, sleeping soundly.
"Chan," you call out to him, your voice surprisingly hoarse, your throat scratchy and raw.
He immediately jolts up, waking the other two in the process.
"Hey, you're awake," he says, getting up from the couch.
He's cautious as he walks over to you, taking slow steps to get to your bed. Changbin and Hyunjin watch from the couch, keeping their distance. Their expressions rival Chan's, somehow looking even more timid.
"Hi," you suddenly feel shy under their gazes, "Why are you looking at me like that? I can't even move; can we get these things off of me."
"Yea, sorry, the nurse said it was just precautionary. I'll go get someone to take them off of you," Hyunjin gets up from the couch, hurrying out into the hallway.
Realization dawns on you, and you bring your eyes to meet Chan's again. "Did I hurt someone? What happened?"
"You were trying to hurt yourself," a nurse enters the room, answering the question for Chan. "You were in a coma for a couple days. Sometimes, when patients wake, they can turn aggressive. Which you did, but nobody was hurt, the boys stopped you before you could do any damage."
You just nod, not entirely sure how to respond. She explains in more detail what had happened as she takes the restraints off your wrists.
"We had to sedate you, so you were out for an additional day. On the bright side, your coma allowed for your body to do some of the tough healing while you were unconscious. You had a surgery on your thigh the night you were brought in due to a compound fracture in your femur. The surgery was successful. It seems to be doing well for now, of course we'll have to bring you back in for some check-ups, but you should be good to go for now."
Your eyes widen as she goes on and on. Chan sits beside you, rubbing a hand up and down your back to help comfort you. The nurse continues about the paperwork, and leaves to gather it so you can leave.
"How are you feeling?" Changbin asks from the end of your bed.
"Overwhelmed," you answer curtly. The thought of not being able to perform for a while hurts your heart. Not only that, but you can't even walk!
Your suddenly hit with a wave of memories from the night of the accident, and your eyes water at the thought of the rest of your members who were in the car with you.
"Are the other guys alright? Where are they?" your voice is panicked as you ramble off questions.
"They're ok, we promise," Chan reassures you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "They went home a couple days ago to rest. None of them got hurt as badly as you did. They all got some stitches, Seungmin's got a broken arm, and Felix has a pretty nasty concussion, but they're ok."
You sigh in relief, allowing your head to rest on Chan's shoulder.
The nurse comes back in, a folder filled with paperwork in hand. "As soon as you fill these out, you'll be good to go! Your medications and dosages are in this little baggy. You had some lacerations on your side, but we just covered them with butterfly bandages. The stitches on your neck can be taken out at your next appointment. Just be weary of them as you go about your day, try not to turn your head too quickly," she instructs, handing over the paperwork.
Within a few minutes, everything is filled out and you've been put in a wheelchair. Chan stands behind you, wheeling you out towards the van. Hyunjin carries your crutches from beside you, and Changbin holds your medicine and the paperwork.
Getting in the car was a hassle all in itself, as your leg felt like a million pounds with the cast on it. Your hip was so sore from laying in bed for so long, so you opted to have Chan lift you into the car.
Once finally settled, you lean back against the seat and close your eyes. You don't want to admit it, but you know these next few months are going to be difficult.
~ ~ ~
It's been a few weeks now, and things have started to go back to how they were before the accident. This is the first regularly scheduled week since then, and you're grateful for the normalcy.
Your managers had put everything on hold for a while, allowing you and the rest of your members to recover some. They knew it was a difficult time for all of you, and you were thankful for their leniency.
You have been spending most of your time on the downstairs couch, lounging around in front of the T.V. Various members would join you throughout the day, helping you with whatever you needed. Chan has certainly been the most doting, running at your every beck and call.
Today was no different; Chan decided to stay home with you while the rest of the members went to dance practice. He knew it'd probably put him behind, but they weren't set to perform for a good while, so he'll just catch up a different day. Plus, he knows Minho can handle them all just fine without him there.
The two of you are lounging on the couch, watching one of your favorite T.V shows, when Chan gets up to use the bathroom.
You hear the door close, and realize now's your chance. Your stomach's been growling for the past hour, but you didn't want to make Chan make you something.
However, you are done being the world's longest lounging couch potato, so you rise to your feet, grabbing your crutches from beside you, and make your way into the kitchen.
You know you don't have long before Chan finds you, so you ravage through the fridge quickly to try and find something to eat. You see your leftovers from the other night neatly packed away, so you grab those.
You carefully set your crutches down, leaning them on the counter next to you before hopping, leftovers in hand, to the microwave.
Unfortunately, the rug in front of the sink slips beneath you, and you fall onto the ground, your leftovers opening and spilling out onto you.
"Oh for fuck's sake," you sigh. Thankfully, you're not hurt, your butt just a little sore, but some of the sauce now decorates your cast.
You hear the door fling open from down the hall, and a frantic Chan bursts into the kitchen a mere second later. "What are you doing?" he's panicked as he rushes over to you, his arms looping under yours to pull you up.
"I was just going to heat these up because I was hungry, but then I slipped. I'm fine," you lightly push Chan away from you, knowing fully well that you can stand on your own.
He looks slightly taken back by your attitude, but nevertheless moves towards you again. He wraps his arms around you in an attempt to pick you up, no doubt to carry you back into your permanent spot on the living room couch, but you give him a firmer shove this time. "Did I hurt you?" he worries, his eyebrows scrunching.
"No, I just want to walk to the bathroom myself and get cleaned up," you explain, doing your best to keep your composure.
"I can help, let me grab you a wash rag for your cast," he bends down next to you, rummaging through the cupboard.
"Chan, please," you sigh. As much as you loved being babied at first, enough is enough. "I need some time by myself. I love you guys, but I'm not sure I've had a moment alone since the accident." Your arms are crossed as he stands, a pout forming on his face.
"But we just want to help you," he says, puppy-dog eyes on full display.
"And I thank you for all you guys have done the past month, but I really need to start doing things for myself again," you reach past him, grabbing your crutches and head down the hall to your bathroom. "Now to get this sauce off me," you mumble as you push the door open with the end of your crutch.
~ ~ ~
You're laying on your bed later in the day, knee propped up on a plump pillow to help alleviate some of the pain from your aching leg, when you hear a knock on door.
You tell them to come in, and the door opens to reveal Chan. "Hi," he's timid as he walks in. He takes a seat on the edge of your bed, a guilty look on his face.
"What's up?" you ask, sliding your bookmark into the crease of your novel.
"I wanted to apologize on behalf of all of us. We've been really clingy since the accident, and we didn't realize we were overstepping."
"Chan," you sigh, adjusting yourself to sit next to him. "Please don't beat yourself up about this. Honestly, I was just a little frustrated earlier and took it out on you. You guys have helped me more than you know these last few weeks. I really don't mind all the doting."
His eyes light up at that. "Really?" his voice is giddy, and you regret that you were the cause of his sadness before.
While the overprotectiveness really did get on your nerves a bit, if it brings them that much happiness to take care of you, you suppose you can get past your grumpiness and let them do it.
"Really."
"Guys, she changed her mind!" he yells, and not even a second later, your door swings open, seven smiling faces staring back at you.
They hurry into your room, clumsily fighting each other to sit on your bed. They're still cautious of your leg, but they all manage to fit, even if a little squished.
"Don't make me regret this," you joke, ruffling Seungmin's hair from where he's laid out on your lap.
"You know you love us," Chan comments, smirking at you.
"I certainly do."
2K notes ยท View notes
jinnie-ret ยท 11 months ago
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people pleaser
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stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)
genre: fluff, angst
content warnings: toxic friends
word count: 3.6k
summary: in her one kid's room episode, y/n reflects on how it was hard for her not to be so kind and sweet to everyone, because she just wanted them to like her.
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The music at the start of the video played, cutting between different things the members were saying.
"Ah, she's too kind for her own good," Seungmin shook his head with a slightly sad smile.
"She hypes everyone up, she's like a mood maker of the group," Lee Know added on.
"Y/N is very selfless," Jeongin said turning his head to the others as they nodded.
"One Kid's Room, Y/N!" Y/N smiled into the camera, relaxed into the armchair with her comfy purple fleece on.
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Ever since the group's trainee days, Y/N had been a people pleaser. Not that she realised that fact about herself, until it came to the future where she would reflect on herself.
She remembered when she had seen Han around the practice rooms, and it didn't matter what he did, singing, dancing or rapping... he was talented in all areas. He was even charming to her despite his shyness occasionally. She knew for sure he'd debut soon, he was an ace after all. There were also rumours going around that her good friend Chan was creating a group to join the showcase and have a chance at debuting. She wanted to be like him, so she made a lot of effort to greet him and be kind to him.
"Hi Jisung!" she would wave at him as she passed him in the corridors of JYP Entertainment.
Of course, Han being Han, would wave back without really knowing who she was at first, but he felt too awkward to ignore her. When he spoke to his hyung about a pretty girl always saying 'hello' at him, Chan was quick to tell Han about who his friend Y/N was (and also that she was off limits because he was thinking of adding her to the group but he didn't tell Han that last part).
Soon they became more comfortable around each other and Y/N found herself practising singing songs with Han, wishing she could belt notes like he could too.
"Wow, you're so good at hitting those higher notes! I wish I could do that," Y/N turned her head towards Han, from where they were both lying down on the practice room floor, feet pointed outwards to opposite walls but their heads side by side.
"Hey, you've got a great voice too, you know?" Han quickly moved his head to the side to look at her, but decided against it and stared right back up at the ceiling.
"You really think so?" Y/N's voice wavered. She needed reassurance, she knew that herself. There was still a long way to go, but she'd get to a place she wanted with her voice one day.
"I know so. Maybe one day you could be my backup singer?" Han said casually, before belly laughing when Y/N leaned over and turned to him with a pout.
"Hannnn!" she whined.
"Yah, you know I'm joking, just keep practising, you'll do great, yeah?" Han said genuinely, before standing up and hauling her up himself as they left the practice room.
โ€ขโ€ขโ€ข
The next to join the group Chan was preparing for was a boy the same age as her, Jeongin. He was cute, Y/N thought, shy as well and maybe even similar to herself in some ways for wanting the approval of others, especially their future leader.
Dropping her bag in the corner of the room, first to arrive, Y/N quickly exited the practise room realising she needed the bathroom. Only to return to see Jeongin sheepishly standing in the entrance, Han looking away and Chan stood in the middle of the room with his arms folded.
"Jeongin you should have been here ten minutes ago," the Australian guy frowned running a hand through his hair. Ten minutes? Wow, Chan could be scary sometimes, and Y/N didn't regret joining the group lineup so far, but he was pretty strict.
"I-i was just..." Jeongin tried speaking up but clearly didn't have the words to explain why, practice bag in between his legs and hands clasped nervously behind his back.
"Oh that's my fault, Chan," Y/N decided to lie for him and came forward and stood next to Jeongin, resting her hand on his shoulder as they stood at the same height, "I was showing Jeongin this video at the dorms and I insisted he watch it before we leave..." she even looked off to the side awkwardly, and that part was genuine because the moment Chan let out a huff through his nose, she felt intimidated.
"Guys.... ugh, just, get ready for practice, yeah?" Chan sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose as the two youngest rushes to one side of the room.
"Why did you do that?" Jeongin whispered, pulling out his bottle of water.
"Because I want to know why you were really late," Y/N joked and nudges his shoulder, making him laugh.
"Guys, stop messing around!" Chan rolled his eyes. Y/N wasn't so sly, he saw her bag that had already been there, and knew she hadn't arrived at the same time as Jeongin, but he allowed the excuse nonetheless.
โ€ขโ€ขโ€ข
Walking back into the dorms after a busy shift at work, with school the next day, hearing a loud argument was not ideal at all for Y/N. And of course, it had to be between Han and Hyunjin. The taller boy had recently been recruited by Chan after his exceptional dance skills and potential. Perhaps Han was jealous? Y/N didn't really know, all she wanted was her bed right now but she hated the confrontation she heard.
"You can't just leave your things around everywhere! You're so messy!" Hyunjin yelled at Han.
Y/N peeked her head round the hallway after taking off her coat and shoes to see them yelling at each other in the lounge. Chan and Jeongin were nowhere to be seen - they must be out somewhere.
"I was here first! You think I care about your complaints? Get over yourself!" Han shouted, fists clenched at his sides.
"Oh so it's not ok for me to complain, but you get to act like a spoilt brat and like you're better than everyone else?!" Hyunjin yelled once more.
"Guys, what are you doing?" Y/N yawned, staring at the shouting boys who immediately flipped round to their dongsaeng.
"Oh, hey Y/N," Hyunjin's eyes softened, and so did his tone as he saw her standing there tiredly.
"What are you doing up so late?" Han questioned, glancing across at her.
"She works, remember? Gosh, you don't care about anyone but yourself and-" Hyunjin shouted before Y/N quietly cut him off with her calming demeanour.
"Stop. Just stop. You ask me why I'm up late but you two are up awake and arguing... If we're gonna be a team we can't go on like this. And that's not fair to Chan," Y/N shook her head sighing. She couldn't even look at the boys, but from the resounding silence there was she hoped her words had gotten through to them.
"I guess you're right," Hyunjin nodded, shifting awkwardly on one leg.
They all looked at Y/N as if seeing her in a whole new way, she seemed more mature than ever in that moment.
"We all have early starts tomorrow, don't we?" Y/N checked with them, chewing on her lip.
"You're right we do," Han sighed and nodded.
"Right, let's sleep then," Y/N nodded and rushed off to her room, not wanting to be in that situation again. She liked offering her advice, yes, but being the voice of reason? That felt like another level of having responsibility.
"Let's not fight again," Hyunjin whispered, tired himself, physically and emotionally.
All Han could do was roll his eyes and nod as they retreated to their rooms.
It may not have been the last time they fought, but they both put in more effort to control their emotions.
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3RACHA was completed. Changbin joined Han and Chan in making music and releasing in onto SoundCloud together, and despite his darker aura, the boy was one of the most caring guys she had ever met.
He would check up on her often, noticing her floating away into her own little world. It happened again one day, when Y/N was sat in the studio with the three guys, until Chan and Han went to collect lunch.
"You good, Y/Nnie?" Changbin asked, breaking the comfortable silence that was in the room.
"Hmm, yeah, why?" Y/N wiped sleep out of her eyes as she saw him staring back at her.
"It's ok, you know, to be upset, or tired," Changbin gently spoke, sensing from the start that she was a sensitive, soft soul.
"I'm not upset... I just need to improve, that's all..." Y/N sighed, curling up into a tighter ball on the sofa, tugging a blanket over her legs.
"I saw your face after the staff spoke to you," Changbin informed her, helping to straighten out the blanket.
"They just said that I shouldn't expect to be a part of the group if I'm dancing and singing the way I do and that even a rat would have done a better job," Y/N shrugged, not able to look at Changbin.
"They what? They can't say rude shit like that to you!" Changbin stood up, arms folded.
"I-it was just constructive criticism," Y/N jumped slightly, not expecting the strong reaction from her fellow group member.
"No, they were rude to you, there's a difference between constructive criticism and being rude. How is what they said helpful in any way?!" Changbin growled, shaking his head with a clenched jaw.
"I just caught them in a bad mood-" Y/N shared the thought that was playing over and over again in her head, eyes shining as she looked up at Changbin.
"No, you didn't, ok? It's alright," Changbin side hugged her to him, joining her back on the sofa, "it's ok to feel sad from what they said, I just want you to talk to me about it, I'm here. Now, come on, Chan and Han will be back with food soon."
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Next to join the group was a charming freckled boy, also from Australia. He had quickly grown close with Chan from their shared nationality, but Y/N craved to be close with him too. She wanted him to like her, after all, she got on well with her other members, so she found herself worrying when she hadn't really had a chance to bond with him yet.
He was a cute and loveable guy, and with the language barrier, Felix not really knowing a lot of Korean yet, Y/N felt disheartened when her words would be met with a blank look from him. She just hadn't connected the dots yet, not realising it was because her quick ramblings in Korean were an overwhelming whirlwind of incomprehensible words.
"Hi Felix! I'm so glad you joined the group, you've got such a cool voice I think it will really make us stand out!" Y/N gushed to Felix after they all did a vocal practice together.
"Thank you," Felix awkwardly answered before looking away at the ground, smiling bigger only when Chan stood next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
That was when Y/N decided she needed to find a better way to communicate with Felix, so she started writing notes, using an online translator to write an English translation below her Korean words, to tell him words of encouragement and show him she was there as a friend.
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"Thanks Y/N! See you soon, maybe," Y/N's trainee friends giggled as they left the lobby of JYP, Y/N waving goodbye to them as she zipped her purse back up.
"What was that about?" Seungmin spoke up, leant against the wall opposite her.
"Oh, umm, my friends asked if they could borrow some of my money to get some snacks," Y/N grinned, feeling happy she was able to help her friends.
"You didn't have to do that... give them your money so easily," Seungmin shook his head, walking over and standing closer to her now.
Seungmin was recognised for his polite nature and gorgeous voice, hence his joining of the group.
"It's ok, really, they needed it and plus they said they'd pay me back," Y/N defended her friends, lips pursing when she saw Seungmin frown.
"Whenever I see those friends of yours they ask for money," Seungmin was trying really hard for Y/N to see sense.
"It's fine I have a part time job for a reason," Y/N smiled, trying to brush away Seungmin's concerned but it only made it worse.
"Yeah, not to fund their snacks," his eyes only widened in response.
"They need it," Y/N's voice became higher pitched, as she was desperate for Seungmin to believe her and just leave alone the subject. She didn't want to be in any sort of argument with him but he also didn't want him to be thinking badly of her friends.
"So do you, please be careful around them," Seungmin sighed and patted her shoulder, seeing she wanted to leave the subject alone, as they both left the company.
Later that night at the dorms, Y/N and Seungmin were relaxing on the sofa, with the other members too, as they scrolled through their phones. Looking at her social media, Y/N tapped on her friend's story, only to see they were all hanging out without her, and seemed to be eating at a slightly more expensive fast food restaurant. But they didn't even have enough money for a snack earlier?!
It seemed Y/N had spoke this last thought out loud. Seungmin peered over her shoulder and frowned, recognising the people in the photos as his younger member's friends.
Stopping himself from telling her 'I told you so', Seungmin offered his comfort.
"You've got us, yeah? Don't worry about them anymore," Seungmin swiped off of the story and took her phone out of her hands.
"I don't know what i did wrong..." Y/N bit her lip, wondering how she always went wrong with her friends.
"You did nothing wrong, they took advantage of your kindness, Y/N, now let me order some fried chicken for us, yeah?"
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The final member Chan added to the lineup was a guy called Minho, who, very impressively, had completed the basic JYP dance moves in 2 weeks. Y/N was in awe of him.
"I can't believe you completed the moves already! I bet Chan will make you dance leader when we all get to debut together!" Y/N smiled at Lee Know, singing his praises.
"Aha, thank you," Lee Know awkwardly bowed at her, not really saying much after. Y/N just wanted to compliment him and show her appreciation, but seeing his short responses made her feel awkward too, and soon they'd be left in silence.
Y/N found herself sat there thinking, she spent so long trying to get everyone to like her, but maybe what she said, what she did, wasn't good enough?
"Is this too much for you?" Chan sat down next to Y/N, who had isolated herself to sit in the corner of the practice room.
"No it's fine," Y/N waved her hand away, running a hand through her hair.
"Tell me the truth," Chan insisted, shifting his body to look at her, feeling concerned.
"I am, I'm fine," Y/N bluntly said, not wanting to talk about how she truly was feeling, and the thoughts she was having.
"Don't lie to me, I need to know you can do this, I don't want you stressing out, we've got the showcase ahead of us, Y/N," Chan urged her to tell the truth, resting a hand on her knee, patting it gently.
"Look, ok, it is a lot to deal with but I can do it, I promise you. I just, I'm trying to figure everything in my head," Y/N leant her head back against the wall, closing her eyes.
"Thank you for telling me the truth, and, Y/N, that's why we're here, we don't want you feeling like you're on your own when you do so much for all of us, ok?" Chan side hugged her, warmth in his eyes, and some relief there when he finally broke through to her.
"I am? I mean, I do a lot for you guys?" Y/N's voice pleaded for the truth, looking at Chan with hope in her eyes.
"You always do," he smiled and ruffled her hair.
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Back to One Kids Room, Y/N smiled as she thought about how she had come as a person.
"As much as I still look up to my members, my self-esteem has grown so much and I've learnt to value myself. I love them so much, but I need to give myself energy and time too," Y/N smiled at the camera, hands squeezing the long arms of her sleeves and balling them up.
"She's so much more confident now, I remember she used to ask me if this was fine or that but now she's more confident," Changbin commented, the other guys nodding in agreement.
"She used to come to me being like, woahhhhh you're such a good dancer!" Lee Know chucked, thinking of the younger version of Y/N, who would always praise her members.
"Ah yes she'd speak exactly like that! Wow... And she'd look at me like, with these wide eyes being like, I wanna rap like you!" Han laughed as he perfectly imitated how Y/N spoke to him.
"She used to have this really sweet habit, when I didn't know Korean very well, umm, she'd leave these little notes for me, and write the Korean and English translation for me just so I knew what she was saying. There'd always be these words of encouragement, it just made my heart feel warm," Felix told the members, who all 'ooh'ed in response, shocked at this fact because they didn't know that Y/N used to do that.
"Ah, yes, I did used to leave notes for Felix... I wanted to be his friend so badly! He just seemed so cool but whenever I spoke to him he just sort of awkwardly smiled and nodded. I thought he didn't like me, turns out he had no idea what I was saying, so I left notes for him instead... yeah," Y/N felt shy when she admitted this, covering her face.
"I remember back in trainee days, I was late for practice because I overslept. And then when I arrived I thought Channie hyung is really going to scold me but Y/N suddenly appeared, I think she came back from the bathroom or something but she said it was her fault that we were both late, and I thought phew, hyung won't be angry at me now, haha," Jeongin told his own story, remembering Y/N covering for him, and that wasn't the only time she had done that.
"I remember that! I knew she was covering up for you!" Chan gasped, pointing an accusing finger at Jeongin who laughed in response.
"She's so sweet and kind, whenever any of us would argue she'd try and stop it from happening," Hyunjin shook his head in wonder at how selfless Y/N was.
"Oh yeah! She'd try and get us to see from each perspective, even though I felt like I was right I thought wow I can't argue because now Y/N would be sad too if we carried on," Han covered his mouth slightly as he laughed, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder knowing that the argument he was referring to was definitely between the two of them.
"Right! Right! She's really good at seeing other people's feelings, but she used to struggle when it came to herself... She'd look so confused if I said to her that she was acting sad, she looked like a lost puppy..." Changbin said in a more serious tone.
"Oh when she had those puppy eyes! Yeah!" Chan nodded along enthusiastically, knowing the look all too well.
"It made my heart ache, she didn't understand, she's much better now though, I'll get a knock at my door and we'll talk for hours," Changbin confessed, feeling happy he was needed in helping his member feel better.
"Ah yes I talk to Binnie a lot about my feelings these days... I still find it confusing to understand how I feel but it makes a bit more sense when I talk with him, yeah..." Y/N began, still a bit shy in admitting when she needed help but better than she would have been before, "I don't think I look like a puppy? Seungmin is more like a puppy, haha."
"Remember Y/N used to have that part time job?" Seungmin asked the rest of the guys.
"Really?" Felix was shocked, not realising everything Y/N had to balance.
"Yeah she used to work at a cafe whilst training and school, I really admired that," Hyunjin grinned, proud of the younger girl.
"But she'd still have to ask us for money," Chan laughed.
"She'd spend it on her old friends! She wanted to make sure they were ok and then suddenly she wouldn't have any money left!" Seungmin said in disbelief, his voice cutely rising up and down in pitch showing how he was feeling.
"Oh, that makes sense I remember one time we got some boba, and she asked me like oppa, can you get me that please? And I asked her where her money went and she said she spent it on a present for Innie... I think it was near his birthday at the time," Lee Know commented, leaning back against the sofa.
"Woahh, my heart," Hyunjin gasped, placing a hand over his chest, "that's so cute!"
"Ah I love giving gifts! I feel like if I can find someone the perfect gift and they are happy then I'm really happy too," Y/N explained after a staff member asked her the question.
"I think I'm definitely different from debut days... If I could say anything about myself now... It would be... You have grown. Y/N has changed, but in a good way!"
"One Kid's Room, Y/N, finished!"
โ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขโ€ข
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari
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charmercharm3r ยท 1 year ago
Text
Masterlist
warnings: 9th member brain rot, kissing, body image? hardly proof read donโ€™t come for me
prev: two, next: four
โ˜†๏พŸ
โ€œHonestly? I hate it. I hate it a lot.โ€
None of your costume fittings were going well. Pants too tight, boots too big, couldnโ€™t lift your arms or else your top would rise too high. Nothing worked. Did it at least look good? Meh.
โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong with it?โ€ Chan asked as he stood beside you, looking at you through the practice room mirror.
โ€œI dunno, it justโ€ฆ doesnโ€™t feel right. Somethingโ€ฆโ€ You tried reaching around to feel the zippers and pins that held your outfit in place. Chan, ever observant, stepping to help unclip various pieces of the outfit. By the time he was done, it was a bit more revealing.
You were in the same leather pants as the rest of the group, but your top was the most modified out of everyone. A long sleeved body suite that followed the same black and white bedazzled color schemes with triangular cut outs down the shoulders and arms, rising a little too high on your hips. It was supposed to be a sexy piece, definitely not fit for a performance outfit. The stylists had it pinned to the leather pants to keep from revealing how exposing it was, saying how everything was so pretty and perfect for the concept, except this.
The pants rested a little lower on your hips, more comfortably. Chan looked at you again, โ€œhowโ€™s that?โ€
You hopped and moved around, โ€œa lot better.โ€
โ€œIt looks better too!โ€ Hyunjin casually strolled into the conversation. He reached out to trace the seam that exposed your upper hips, โ€œsexy.โ€
You swatted his hand away, โ€œdonโ€™t be weird.โ€
โ€œI meant it in a good way!โ€ He threw his hands up and side stepped behind Chan and disappeared.
"If you're comfortable with it, this is much better. But it's a bit more than what you're used to showing," the older ignored Hyunjin and played with the pins in his hand.
Admiring yourself in the mirror, you realized it was a lot more than you're used to. The bodysuit was tight, which was okay because it was stretchy. But it outlined your body more than the other member's costume, therefore it stood out exponentially. "Do you think it'll be okay... y'know, in front of people?" The lowered tone of your voice, the question was shaky.
Chan paused to look at you with hints of concern, and he knew what you were talking about. He copied the hushed syntax of the conversation, "if you're worried about bad press, don't. You're part of us, like the biggest part. It's been how many years and if people can't handle that... well, that's their problem."
He lent you an encouraging smile before his attention was pulled away by a screaming Jeongin, then a thud following with Hyunjin piling on top of the younger. Chan had turned away to make sure the two were okay, and in within your lone thoughts, you figured he was right. Other people's opinions are not your problem. This was a step in the right direction.
And Chan was right, as he always is! The outfit was a smash during tour, people loved it and you felt confident. By the time the Japan tours were announced, you were ready to ask for something a bit more. Solo stages meant you were able to show more personality. You didn't have many solo projects, so it was already nerve wracking picking a song and getting help with the choreography.
The other members weren't around for your fitting with the solo stage outfit, just you and the stylist who started to enjoy your newfound excitement for experimentation. She had jumped for joy and brought out racks of different pieces, "I've waited five years for this day! It's like dress up and you're my barbie doll."
It was a large compliment coming from her, her enthusiasm made your energy spike. So you let her put you in different outfits and go over different mood boards to find what it is you wanted. The one-on-one time with her felt like turning a new leaf for your career and confidence. "I'm glad that you want to do this. I never wanted to push you to do something you're uncomfortable with, I'm so excited for you!" Aside from the usual encouragement from your members, her approval was the icing on the cake. After all, dressing people is her entire livelihood.
You hadn't given so much as a hint to the boys as to what your concept was, and it made them annoyed to no end. As they all talked about colors and themes, you kept your cards close to your chest to only let them know what you wanted them to know.
"You're being mean! Tell us! My nosy heart can't take not knowing!" Jisung pestered you the most, though you knew it came from a good place. They were all anticipating it.
When the dress rehearsal came, you put on your outfit last just so that they could all stew in their curiosity a little longer. They had all gathered on the sides of the stage to watch your run through, all of them still in their own costumes.
Your solo began with lifted from below the stage, that alone got howls from the members and also scolds from your manager to be quiet. It was hard not to glance over at them literally toppling over themselves to see your outfit up close, you laughed all throughout the run-through because of the little comments they'd make as if they were the audience.
"That's my bias!" from Jisung and a, "I'll treat you to dinner for being so cute!" from Minho.
Some other barrages of compliments later, the rehearsal intermission gave them time to rush onto the stage and tackle you to the ground. Physically dog pile on top of you so that you had no choice but to stay put. You couldn't even tell who was talking as everyone spoke at the same time. But soon enough, your manager walked over to get everyone under control once more.
Felix held out his hand for you to take and stand up. "Y/N'ie, you should've been dressing like this the entire time. You've been holding out on everyone," he teased, playing with the hem of your top.
It wasn't an outrageously different outfit to what you're used to, but also it was so brand new. An outfit made of repurposed denim in different shades, stitched together to make a halter-styled cropped top and skirt with denim arm and leg warmers to match. It was comfortable, and not to mention shorts built into the skirt.
"Just cus you said that, I'm gonna wear a track suit for the actual concert and bury this outfit in the basement," you lightly punched his arm.
"If you do, it'd be a crime against humanity. I'll have you arrested, Iโ€™ve got connections," Seungmin offhandedly mentioned. He looked indifferent, but the blush tinting his ears was a dead giveaway.
"To who? You don't talk to anyone except us," Jeongin spoke up.
"Your mom."
"Ouch," you and Felix giggle as the two youngest continued to bicker, hanging on each other's arms until it was time to finish the dress rehearsal.
Felix was always a person of comfort for you. Sort of like the baby blanket that you refused to give up because it's the one thing you know will always be there waiting for you to come home. That's not to compare him to a ratty old blanket, but more the sentiment behind it. Even after all of the praise from your members, you still found yourself looking for him to cling on to. Felix lets you, placing a hand over yours as you wrap around his arm like a vine that won't let go.
It wasn't until rehearsals were over and everyone were to change out of their outfits did you leave to let him gather his stuff. The others made jokes and poked fun, as they always did, but never Felix. Sure, he liked to tease, but even the way he did that was sweet and kind.
He could see the way you grimaced when looking at the outfit as you handed it back to the stylists for safe keeping, coming to your side unrushed as not to startle you. Wrapping an arm over your shoulder, Felix went with you to finish up small tasks before it was time to head back to the hotel.
Actually, Felix didn't leave you alone the rest of the day off, as well. He'd went with you back to your hotel room where the both of you took a short nap- you'd gone to the bathroom to find him passed out in the spare bed. Then when you woke up, it was also his idea to check out the restaurant and pool the hotel offered. You both did ask the other members if anyone wanted to join, however they were all off doing their own thing, except Hyunjin asked for you to ask him again in another hour. Something about taking a bath?
As Felix left to change into his swim suit, you silently kicked yourself for remembering to bring one in the first place. Initially, you had attempted to get out the activity by saying you didn't bring one. But then he went into your suitcase, taking everything out just to see it buried at the bottom. This was bound to happen, knowing how (affectionately) invasive all of the members are, you took caution by putting your undergarments in separate bags. Reliving the last fiasco with you in your underwear was something you avoided at all costs, now.
So now you had no choice but to go swimming, despite the sun going down and the temperature dropping.
The two of you grabbed an order of French fries and some drinks for dinner to take poolside. There was no one, thankfully. You don't think you'd be able to take your top off if there was even one other person there to see. Felix acted like this was normal. Because it should be. He's one of your best friends and has nothing but love for you, so why is this so difficult?
You've come to terms with your body and living in your skin. At least, you thought you did.
"One step at a time," the deep bass of a voice said softly over your shoulder. Felix had opened the to-go box of food and was taking a seat at one of the outdoor tables. "Let's just eat, for now."
Hesitant, you sat beside him, picking at the fries while staring at the reflective lights within the hotel. Comfortable silence besides the occasional water splashing against the concrete. "We don't have to go in," Felix offered with a sympathetic smile. "I'm just glad I got you out of your room."
"What do you mean, I always hang out with you guys when we're traveling."
"Yeah, in the hotel!" The crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he smiled was cute. Felix is cute. "I mean going to dinner, sight seeing, doing fun things."
"I have fun! Like," you blanked for a second, grabbing a fry and shoving it in your mouth to buy some time. "Scrolling through the foreign tv channels and trying to figure out what's happening."
"You can't be serious." You shrugged and he rolled his eyes. "Well now we have to go in the pool. There is no way we are leaving when all you've done is try to find the Japanese discovery channel."
Felix stood and immediately stripped off his shirt, tossing it at your face cockily. Spitting the fabric out of your mouth, you were tempted to gag yourself with it again when you saw him shirtless. It's not like you'd never seen any of them without a top before, it's just that you always had to hide it. Felix wiggled his eyebrows at you, "how much do you love me?"
Flustered. You were flustered. "...A lot, I guess? What does that have to do w-"
"I jump, you jump kind of love?"
"What are you talking ab-"
He took off in a sprint towards the pool, quickly spinning to yell back, "You love me, so jump!" And he cannonballed into the deep end. The impact made the water splash over the edge and wet your feet. You stood to peer into the water where you could see his blonde hair bobbing before breaking the surface again for air. His skin glistened and glowed from the warm pool lights, ethereal. "If you don't come in, I'm gonna hold a grudge against you for the rest of our lives."
"Is that a threat?"
Felix nodded, "a very serious one that I'll make the rest of the guys get in on and annoy you for all of eternity."
They already annoy you, but like Felix said, I jump, you jump applies to all of you.
You looked around the area, not another soul in sight. Felix flicked some water at you, taunting. The smug look on his face, you wanted to slap it off of him, or kiss. Probably both.
Either way, you raised an eyebrow in challenge and slid off your shorts and shirt at record speed, barreling towards the pool to follow him with a leap. The water was cold, but refreshing. It wasn't hard to open your eyes beneath it to see Felix also dipping his head below, smiling widely at you. His hands reached out to guide you both back to the surface, inhaling deeply while he laughed gleefully.
Suddenly, you were being lifted in a warm pair of arms and smothered into his body. The two of you were in fits of giggles at both of your lacks in impulse control. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders while he held you closer.
The laughter slowly died down, but Felix didn't let you go. Though, his hands did slide a little lower. Barely grazing down your back, over your bathing suit bottoms and hooking beneath your thighs to urge you to wrap them around him. His plush lips were the pinkest you'd ever seen them, matching prettily with the blush on his cheeks.
You were almost weightless in the water, taking away the small fear factor that you'd be too heavy for him to carry like this, although it didn't go away entirely. You couldn't resist looking down at yourself, specifically in the stupidly small bikini that was the only one you brought. It was like your entire thought process was being narrated to him, Felix let go of one leg to tip your chin up to face him again. You met his eyes with a hint of embarrassment, but mostly bemused by the way he was looking at you.
There was lingering moment where you caught him staring at your lips, as well. The same hand beneath your chin trailed to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over the corner of your mouth.
"I thought we were supposed to be swimming," you whispered out of nervousness.
โ€œWere we?โ€ He didnโ€™t give you time to respond, leaning in to brush his lips against yours. There was a small moment before they fully connected where you couldโ€™ve backed out, you couldโ€™ve pulled away and acted like nothing happened.
Instead, you pushed into him to fully melt against his lips. Felix tangled his hand in your hair to make sure there was less than oxygen between your bodies, water sloshing around as he reciprocated the heat behind the kiss. He molded against you like a perfect puzzle piece, following your lead in tracing his lower lip with your tongue. Hands grabbed at your thigh, your ass, the one in your hair trailing behind to wrap around your shoulder. His eagerness made you just as needy, just as desperate that you followed in threading your fingers through his blonde locks and raking your nails from there, down his neck and back. Felixโ€™s body shivered at the feeling.
You could tell he was holding back when he groaned softly against you and his hold on your lower half tightened enough that you should be concerned thereโ€™d be bruises.
The other thing you should be concerned about was the water beginning to rise. Or, you were sinking? He still kept a firm grasp on you, and the water beginning to creep up your back didnโ€™t seem to concern him, nor when it finally reached your neck and suddenly you were holding your breath and submerged all over again.
Only when the both of you were beneath the surface did he pull away to look at you. Felix smiled, cheeky and warm, he kissed you again, slower this time. A little more passionate and past the initial frenzy.
But air was an unfortunate necessity, and he lifted the both of you up again. His lips moved to the side of your cheek, placing supple pecks as you regained your breaths. You couldnโ€™t suppress the small bits of laughter as your body relaxed and mind catches up with what had just happened.
Reluctant, Felix pulled away to brush the hair from your forehead. โ€œWere we supposed to be swimming or something?โ€
โ€œYou were supposed to call me in a hour!โ€
The third voice broke your small bubble of bliss to see Hyunjin standing at the edge of the pool. He was only in a bathrobe and slippers, pajama pants peaking out from underneath while his hair fell into his face out of the ponytail.
You couldnโ€™t even be bothered to let go of Felix, who in result of his shock actually held you closer.
โ€œAnd why did he get to kiss you first?! Thatโ€™s not fair.โ€ Hyunjin started to untie his bathrobe, tossing it onto the table where the rest of your stuff was.
โ€œWhat is happening right now?โ€ You softly mutter as the only dry person present also pulled off his pajama pants to leave him in just his boxers. Entirely stunned and far too flustered to understand why he was stripping, you reached out to stop him, โ€œHyun, you just took a bath.โ€
โ€œIf getting in the pool is what I have to do, Iโ€™ll take a million showers. After I kiss you,โ€ as he broke into a run towards the edge of the pool.
โ˜†๏พŸ
tags: @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut @straykids5star @like-a-diamondinthesky
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his-angell ยท 8 months ago
Text
"breathe for me." (l.mh)
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plot; Stray Kids was doing an interview, promoting their new album. A loud noise causes Y/ns anxiety to spike. She does her best to keep calm, but she was showing signs of a panic attack coming on. Minho took notice immediately. He did his best to reassure her till the cameras shut off. The moment they did, he was quick to help calm her down through a panic attack. paring; fem!9th!member!reader x BestFriend!Lee Minho genre; angst, comfort word count; 2.0k warnings; anxiety, unhealthy habits (scratching, biting/picking lips, pinking skin, holding breath), dissociation, descriptive panic attack, 9th member reader, third person request?; no
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The interview was going fine. In fact, it was going rather smooth. Too smooth. (y/n) was always nervous during interviews, but this one seemed to tweak her in the wrong way. She had been picking at her fingers, one of the first tells that she was nervous. She didn't really like this interviewer. They were getting oddly personal. She was sure they didn't mean to, but something about them just threw her off.
Minho took a deep breath. He gently nudged her ankle with his foot, trying to get her to stop picking. She kinda just gave a closed lipped smile to him and looked back forward. She hadn't gotten the memo.. She continued to pick at her fingertips.
"So, (y/n)! How did you like this new concept? You seemed to really enjoy the outfits this comeback." The man read from his card before placing it his lap. (y/n) gave a small smile, nodding. "I loved this new concept! I think it brought a-" She was cut off as a loud crash interrupted her. She was quick to cover her ears.
Small pants shook her body as she looked down. One of the studio lights had fallen over. The other members were startled, but (y/n) was thrown off completely. Minho was quick to gently place a hand on her knee, trying to comfort her the best he could. He looked up to the staff, about to ask for a break, but they were told to keep going with the interview. They had fixed the light, and readjusted the cameras so they could continue.
(y/n) let out a shaky breath as she looked back up. Luckily, her question was sort of glanced over now. The focus was moved to Felix, who beamed as he spoke about the fun filming process. (y/n) was fidgeting worse than she had been before. She was scratching at the back of her hand. She was chewing at her lip. Her eyes flickered back and forth between her members and the staff. She just wanted to be done already. She was about to snap.
Minho could tell. He knew that she had issues with interviews in the first place, but the loud noise did not help. He could see it. In the way she rocked back and forth, or the way she scratched and bit at her skin. He was trying to get her to stop the best he could without drawing attention to her.
It felt like ages before the interview finally ended. (y/n) had never gotten up faster. She didn't even allow staff to take off her mic. She rushed away from the others and into a secluded part of the studio. She couldn't breathe. She was hot. Her vision was growing fuzzy. She crouched down, hugging her head to her knees as she tried to calm down. "Not now.. Not here.." She trembled quietly to herself.
Minho tried to rush after her but was stopped by staff. "I have to help her," He tried, but he was waved off. "She just needs air. I need your equipment." The staff said, moving behind him to start unhooking the microphone from his belt. Minho shrugged him off. "You can get it in a second! There's others you can tend to!" He said harshly, rushing over to where he saw (y/n) rush off too.
Minho crouched down to her, gently pulling her hands away from her head. He hated the way she would always tug at her beautiful hair.. He held her wrists in one hand and gently grabbed her chin with the other. "(y/n), I need you to look at me." He said. He already knew what was happening. The first few times this happened, he was clueless on what to do. But after a few times, he learned what she needed and what she didn't. He knew how to take care of her, and he would in every way he could.
(y/n) slowly looked up. her eyes were fuzzy, her head was heavy. her lips were numb from hyperventilating. "Min-Min- I ca-can't brea-breathe!" She sobbed. She tugged her hands away from his grip and gripped onto her chest, as if trying to pull away the burning that consumed her lungs. "It hurts!" She cried. She was tugging at her top, the long sleeve no help to her right now.
Minho took a deep breath, glancing back to where the other members were. He noticed a few of them looking over with concerning glances. He made a motion for drinking, hoping they would get the hint and bring him water. He turned back to (y/n), gently grabbing her hands again. "I need you to breathe with me, okay?" He tried. The woman shook her head. "I can't! It-It's- I'm too hot-!" She sobbed.
Minho shook his head. He hated being stern with her, but he knew that that's what she needed right now. "(y/n), yes you can. In, hold it, out. In, hold it, out." He said. "Do it with me, okay?" He nodded, slowly starting to do the breathing with her. (y/n) stared at him through her teary eyes. She again tried tugging her hands away, but this time, Minho knew better and held them slightly tighter. He rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles. Jisung rushed over with two bottles of water. Minho thanked him quietly, motioning for him to set them down.
Jisung did as he was instructed. "Can I help at all?" He mumbled quietly. (y/n) hung her head low, holding her breath. She trusted the others, sure, but not enough to be this close to her while shes like this. She trusted Minho with this stuff only. She held her breath in attempts to try and act like she was calm. Minho was quick to shake his head. "No, sorry, Ji." He mumbled. Jisung waved a gentle hand before he walked away quickly. (y/n) gasped for air, sobbing out.
She yanked her hands away and started scratching at her thighs. "Minho- I-I can't do-do this-" She shook her head, refusing to make eye contact with him. Minho took a deep breath. He figure that this was one of her times where she didn't wanna be touched. He nodded a little. "Yes, you can, jagi." He whispered. "I need you to stop scratching." He said sternly. "Sit on your hands, remember?" He said, slipping his own hands bellow his thighs and holding them down.
(y/n) looked at him nervously. She stared at his hands bellow his thighs. She clenched her jaw. She slowly moved to sit on top of her hands. She sobbed out, the uncomfortable feeling of needing to do something with her hands unbearable. "You're doing so good, jagi. Now keep breathing for me." Minho said, starting her with a few breaths. While she breathed, he moved to open one of the water bottles. He held it forward, helping her drink. She hummed once she was done, and he pulled the water away.
(y/n)'s body still trembled. Tears were dried to her cheeks, her makeup smeared and ruined. Her body was still hot and tingly. Now was just the uncomfortable stage.. Cooling down after working herself up. She looked at Minho with timid eyes. "It hurts," She whimpered. Minho nodded softly. "I know, I know." He hushed. He made no move to touch her yet, in case she wasn't ready.
After a few minutes she was. She slowly uncurled from herself and hid herself in Minhos chest. Minho wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her back. "You did so good, jagiya." He praised quietly. (y/n) closed her eyes, shaking her head softly. "I was so.. So dramatic." She hiccupped. She had those small hiccups you get after working yourself up so much. She held her hands tightly together, trying to keep from ringing her fingers together. She let out a shaky breath.
Minho hummed and shook his head. "You weren't dramatic at all, (y/n)." He said. "You know better than to say stuff like that after you have a moment like that." He added. He was trying to get her to be better about not criticizing herself after having a panic attack or anything of the sorts. He gently moved to look at her. "Can we talk about what set you off?" He asked. "Can we get home first?" The woman asked quietly. Minho nodded. "Of course. Lets get your equipment off and lets get you home." He said, kissing her head softly.
So thats what they did. He helped her over to the staff, helping keep her stable, since her legs were still jelly. He helped get her makeup off, having stolen a few makeup wipes from the stylists. He gathered his stuff as well as hers, carrying it out to the cars that would be taking them home. (y/n) ended up falling asleep against the window. Minho let her sleep, knowing how exhausted she got.
Once they got to the dorms, he woke her gently, helping her out of the car and walking with her up to the dorms, which luckily they shared. She was so tired. She trudged to bed after kicking off her shoes. She had changed into some comfortable clothes, sitting slumped in her bed. She was always so tired and done after a panic attack. It took so much out of her, all she wanted to do was sink into her bed and never wake up.
Minho had told her to give him a second while he made her tea and changed his clothes. He at least got his clothes changed.. By time he went in to check on her to see what tea she wanted, she was falling asleep sitting up. He sighed. He was glad he didn't turn the kettle on.. He went around, turning off the lights before heading to her room. "Jagiya, hey," He gently rubbed her shoulder.
(y/n) jumped a little bit, whining as she looked up at Minho. She frowned and rubbed her eyes. "Sorry.. I was trying not to fall asleep.." She grumbled. She yawned softly, covering her mouth. "You're okay, (y/n). I know you're tired." Minho said. "Before you sleep though.. I do wanna talk about what set you off today." He took a deep breath, sitting next to her. The woman whined and covered her face with the paws of her hoodie sleeves. "I don't want to! I'm tired, and it was stupid!" She whined into her hands.
Minho pried her hands away from her face and held them gently. "You know you'll feel better if you talk about it." He said with a small shrug. She squinted at him, knowing that he was right. She sighed. "I've just been off all month.. There were too many people in that studio. it was cramped." She shrugged. "Then the freaking light, it pushed me over the edge. I really thought I was gonna be able to go a day without freaking otu, Min." She frowned, looking down. Minho hummed. "But that doesn't mean theres not other days you can't beat, jagiya." He said, giving her a small smile.
"This is just one bad day. Tomorrow will be better." He gently tucked her messy hair behind her ear. "Its okay to have a bad day." He said softly. (y/n) slowly nodded. She let out a shaky breath. "Thanks, Min." She said quietly. Another yawn slipped past her lips. "Will you sleep with me tonight?" She asked sheepishly. Minho chuckled softly. "You mean like I have been for the past week?" He teased. (y/n) rolled her eyes jokingly, a small smile cracking her lips. "Yes, like you have for the past week." She giggled softly.
Minho hummed and nodded softly. "Yeah, sure, jagi," He chuckled. He laid down, gently getting under her blankets and opening them for her. (y/n) cuddled under the sheets, cuddling into Minhos chest. "Thank you, Min." She whispered. "Mm, no need to thank me." Minho said as he reached over to turn her lamp off. "I love you.." She mumbled sleepily. Minho chuckled softly and kissed her head. "I love you too, jagi." He yawned as he wrapped his arms around her, soon falling asleep after her.
all writing rights are reserved to @his-angell do not repost or translate my work without my permission. reblogs are appreciated.
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jiniret-writings ยท 1 year ago
Text
Warm Blankets Pt. 3
Genre: angst, fluff
Pairing: Platonic!skz x 9th member!Reader
Warnings: strong language, self-doubt, arguing, feelings of unworthiness (If I missed any warnings, please let me know)
The actions of the members in this story do not represent how they are in real life. This is all fictional and should not be taken seriously.
Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3
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Earlier That Day
Tensions were high. With comeback so close and so many concerts and events to prepare for, Stray Kids barely had any time to rest. Your days were filled with practices, recordings, and even more practices. Four hours of sleep was your new standard, and even that seemed like a blessing sometimes. That morning was no different. You had woken up at 6am for an early vocal lesson, wanting to do something in your area of comfort before going for your practice with Chan.
You had been given a duo part with the Chan: something you had never done before. It wasn't that you weren't comfortable dancing with Chan. It's just that you never had a solo dance, always preferring to stay in the back for dance breaks. Vocals were your strong suit and you were more than happy being mostly heard and somewhat seen. When you were given the duo part, you were shocked. Seeing your expression, he just smiled at you and patted your head. "You can do it. I know you can," he said. You felt proud that he believed in you enough to give a part like that to you, so you practiced as much as you could, focusing on not just the moves, but making sure they were as perfect as they could be.
For the past few days, you had reached a place where you could be quite proud, but that morning something felt off. You went to your vocal lesson feeling nervous and tense. Your coach noticed and walked you through exercises to expel some of the tension, but you still harbored a feeling of unease. Still, you shook it off and walked to the dance studio. In the end, what mattered was how well you'd be able to dance and follow through on the moves. The choreo this comeback was more intense, but you were also more determined.
The choreo you had with Chan was short, but detailed. And that was where you were having trouble. You weren't a bad dancer, but it didn't come as easily to you as it did for others. It took time for you to really nail some parts. And that day, no one had the patience.
"No, you need to move them together, y/n. Together," Chan stressed, moving his arms and legs together in formation. You huffed in frustration, tired of running this same part over and over. Still, you listened and replicated what Chan did in what you thought was the right way, but he just sighed heavily in frustration, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head.
"I don't get it, okay? Maybe we just stop for today," you groaned, leaning against the wall. Chan just glared at you from where he was sitting on the couch.
"We can't just stop, y/n. You should've had this perfected two days ago."
"Well I don't, and clearly it's not happening now. Maybe if I take a break-"
"We don't HAVE time for breaks!" he yelled, suddenly getting loud. You gawked at him, surprised by the sudden outburst. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to yell back.
"Yes, we do. At least I do. Hyunjin has the practice room reserved after us. I can just ask him to--"
"He has his own practice! He can't babysit-"
"Babysit!?!" You couldn't hold it anymore. You got off your spot on the wall, going to stand closer to Chan. "I am not some CHILD that needs to be watched or whose hand needs to be held!"
"You're sure about that? You can barely extend a leg-"
"I'm trying to--"
"You're not trying hard enough."
"Bullshit! You're just looking for things to criticize about me!" you yelled, having had enough. You were tired and frustrated. You muscles hurt. Your brain hurt, and Chan nitpicking every muscles movement was not helping in any way.
"It's not like I have to look too hard, yeah? You're floundering around!"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" you asked, taking a deep breathe and closing your eyes, calming yourself.
"YOU-"
"No"
"-IMPOSSIBLE TO-"
"Chan, we are-"
"-AND HOW CAN YOU-"
"THIS ISN'T GETTING US-"
"IF I KNEW YOU'D ACT LIKE THIS, I WOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOU TO BE IN THE GROUP!"
--a breathe--a hand on your arm--and silence
At the Studio with 3RACHA
Thanks to Hyunjin's text, Han and Changbin knew it was a no nonsense type of day. They both arrived at the studio early, having brought some snacks and drinks to get them through. They made sure to bring every essential they would need to make sure they had everything they would need and wouldn't need to take unnecessary pauses for anything. Han even brought heat packs and a blanket in case it got too cold.
The studio was tense. Chan was much more quiet during the session, only nodding or shaking his head for the most part. The track was complex. It was a ballad, but there were tons of small audio elements that helped it give off that "mala-taste genre" feel. Still, he wasn't satisfied.
Han and Changbin each took turns messing around with their soundboards and looking through their libraries, adding and taking away elements that were either too much or not enough. They even set up the mic so they could make more practical sounds, hitting couch cushions together or unlacing their shoelaces to get sounds that were unique and possibly get the sound-bites.
Chan was huffing more than usual, and as they separated to write lyrics, Han started texting Changbin:
Han: Channie-hyung sounds like a dragon Changbin: Don't you dare tell him that Han: I know! Just, do you know who he fought with? Changbin: I called Hyunjin and said it was y/n. Han: NO Changbin: Yeah, they're at the cuties dorm now Han: I wanna be at the cuties dorm Changbin: Han Jisung Han: yeah yeah I HEAR HIMJDBCJ Han: Nvm, false alarm ;)
When Chan walked into the hallway, he started pacing. Nothing was coming easy to him. Everything sounded wrong, looked wrong, felt wrong. His skin was itching and his hair felt so heavy he wanted to shave it off. He started pulling at his clothes lightly, trying to find a way to release this aching discomfort he felt in his abdomen.
And the fight
He didn't know why or how he could've said those words to you. With every step, he replayed that last moment over in his head: the words leaving his mouth, the way your face morphed to shock, Hyunjin pulling you away, your eyes filled with tears...
He had never seen that look on your face. It was betrayal. Pure, complete betrayal.
He remembers the first time he met you. You had entered the company just the day before, hope shining in your eyes. He had been a trainee for five years at that point. He knew the routine: new trainee's came in with hope, they practiced with all they had, and the with each passing month and each passing evaluation, the hoe drained. Each comment from staff or the teachers or even from the other trainee's left them tired. And in the end it either became too much and they left, or they debuted. And then the trials really began.
But you were a fighter. He met you on your second day at the company and you were filled wit so much excitement. You were in a group vocal lesson and your voice was far from mature. You needed work and the vocal coach did not hold back on their criticisms of you. But instead of letting it get to you, you pushed. You listened to the feedback nestled between their biting words and you implemented it. It had been a while since Chan saw that specific vocal coach nod their head in approval at someone they so brutally tore down only an hour ago.
You could've had a big head. Chan knew when he talked to you that you could have an ego the size Jupiter, but instead he was met with someone so incredibly sweet and such a joy to be around. You two had lunch together that day, and from then on, Chan knew he'd fight for you.
He couldn't have thought that he'd fight you like he did today. Sure, you've had your smaller arguments and your disagreements here and there, but it never got to the point where any of you said anything terribly hurtful. You loved each other, you were family. But the look in your eyes when he said the words that he knew would hurt you the most? His chest squeezed so tight he almost forgot how to breathe.
Chan shook his head, walking back to the studio with a bottle of cold water from the vending machine. He knew he needed to apologize, but he didn't know how. When he walked back in the studio, Han and Changbin looked at him with soft eyes. He could've cried.
He sat down and stared at his laptop. Next to him, Han and Changbin shared a look. They couldn't just sit and let this stew on any longer. Changbin had filled Han in on everything that happened, and they knew the sooner they addressed this, the better for everyone.
"Hyung," Han started, closing his laptop and leaning forward. Chan glanced up at him before looking back at his work.
"Yeah?" he answered, much softer then anyone expected. He was still looking down, but his hands had stilled.
"There's so much pressure on us to do well and there's so many deadlines to meet..." He paused, looking at Changbin, who got the hint.
"You snapped at y/n, and that was a dick move."
Chan's head snapped straight up at that. Changbin took that as a good sign and kept going.
"You need to apologize. And soon," he said, getting straight to the point. Chan just looked at him shocked, unable to get any words out. He knew he had to apologize, but did you even want to see him? Wasn't it too soon? Changbin and Han looked at him expectantly, wanting him to say something. Anything.
"I," he cleared his throat, rubbing a hand along his face. "I want to, but..." he stopped. But what? But they might not want to see me. But they might need some time alone. But they might want to take a break from everything but they might want to leave the group but they might want to disappear. Chan's thoughts fed him every scenario and conversation that might happen.
Finally, he looked down at his hands. "But they're with Hyunjin now, and probably with some others, and they might want time to cool off before seeing me," he said finally. He knew Hyunjin wouldn't leave you alone, so at least he knew you had someone with you.
"You don't have to talk to them now. Just apologize. And let them curse you out, it might make them feel better," Han said, giving Chan a small smile.
"Let them know you're here. And that you're sorry and didn't mean anything you said. You didn't mean it, right?"
"Of course I didn't mean it," Chan said. It was the one thing he was sure of all day. It didn't hit him immediately. But when he was watching you and Hyunjin walk away, it was like the words kept repeating in his head, mocking him.
If I knew you'd act like this, I wouldn't have fought for you to be in the group!
He shook his head, and he felt two hands on his back. Han and Changbin had moved right next to him and were looking at him with understanding and care. I don't deserve them, he thought. He laid his head on the table for a few seconds and took some deep breathes. He deserved to be punched and yelled at and told to go fuck himself, but instead he had two of his members comforting him.
"You can wait until tonight. The others are with y/n/n now. But you should apologize before they go to sleep," Changbin said softly. Chan nodded and smiled at the two. They patting his back and went to go sit down. He'd fix this. He had to.
At The Cuties Dorm
When you fell asleep on Felix's shoulder, he gently stroked your cheek with his finger, wiping away the faint tracks your tears left behind. You nuzzled into his finger and clutched onto his arm tighter. Cute he thought.
Minho and Hyunjin walked back to you all and, seeing your sleeping figure, lowered the volume of the TV and looked at your bedroom door. Looking at Felix, he just nodded and moved aside so Minho could pick you up and move you to your room. Felix went to your shared bathroom and took all of your skincare products to your room, setting on your bedside table.
"Besties don't let each other sleep with makeup on," he said quietly, balancing everything in his arms. It was something you would say whenever you all got back from a late-night schedule. You never let him go to bed with his makeup on. So if he was too tired to take it off, you'd finish your skincare routine before going to Felix and doing his. And so you two had a routine: if one was too tired to take their makeup off, the other would do it for them.
When Minho tried to lay you on your bed, you refused to let him go. Your arms stayed clutched around his neck, and your face nuzzled deeper into his chest.
"Okay," he whispered, crouching down to try and place you on the bed again. "I'll get in with you, okay? But I need to put you down first." He kept his voice low, not wanting to wake you any more than you already were. You groaned lightly but your grip loosened. As soon as you were on the bed, he got in next to you. He put arm around your head and you hummed in contentment.
As soon as Felix set everything down, he turned on the little bedside lamp and got to work, getting rid of any makeup still left. They thought you were still awake but that train of thought was interrupted by a small snore. Minho and Felix looked at each other and laughed quietly.
"Long day," Felix said. Minho nodded, just patting your hair and keeping it out of your face. Minho knew about the hate comments you were getting and how much they were actually bothering you. He walked in on you crying in a practice room and your phone had been open next to you. You put up a strong front in front of everyone, but it hurt.
Ever since, when things got bad, you would hand him your phone. It was a silent message: I need a break, I'll be practicing all day. And he'd just nod, give you a hug, and let you go. This time, a small hug wouldn't do. Comments from random strangers on the internet hurt, but comments from the inside burn.
He looked down at you now, peaceful expression on your face, and sighed. He knew Chan would come to apologize and that it would hurt again, but to heal a burn you have to let it sting first.
Almost like the very thought of him summoned him, the doorbell rang. Minho looked at you again, not wanting to let go. But he gently moved his arm from under your head, gave you a small kiss on your head, and went to the kitchen where he saw Chan standing in front of everyone.
Han and Changbin came with him. Minho couldn't see his face, but the grip Changbin had around Felix's shoulders seemed like he was trying to hold the younger member back. His suspicions were confirmed when he came closer and took one look at his face.
"y/n/n is asleep," Seungmin said, leaning against the counter. He didn't look mad, just tired. In fact, they all did (except Felix who was never able to hide his malice). It had been a long...this pressure had been building for too long.
Chan looked at your bedroom door, left slightly open by Minho. All the determination he had on the walk over had left him. All the anger and stress was gone and replaced with intense regret. "Can I?" he asked, nodding towards the door. Jeongin nodded at him, standing on the other side of Felix and putting a hand on his shoulder. He had dropped the glare but disapproval was coming off of him in waves. Chan understood the feeling.
Walking in, he took one look at you and took in a deep breathe. You were curled up on your side, clutching a pillow to your chest. Your breathing was even and every few seconds you'd let out a little snore that made him laugh. Chan put a hand on your cheek and you immediately nuzzled into it.
He teared up and took another breathe. "You are so talented," he started whispering. "You work so hard and try so hard in everything you do. Without you, we aren't Stray Kids. I am so so sorry I made you think something that wasn't true," he continued whispering, not wanting to wake you up but still wanting to get the words out.
But you were awake, having woken up but the sliver of light let in by the open door. You didn't open your eyes, afraid that you'd lose your courage the moment you looked at the person who was like your big brother.
"It hurt," you said quietly. Chan's voice caught in his throat and the pressure in his chest grew. "I know you were stressed and frustrated but it hurt. A lot."
"I know, y/n/n. I know, and I am so sorry. I never should have let my frustration hurt you like that," Chan choked out. He wanted to hug you but he held back. He leaned down, getting on his knees beside the bed so he could be at eye level with you. Your eyes were still closed but you could feel him looking at you, closer than before.
"I never meant to say it. I swear, fuck, I swear on everything that I am that I didn't mean those words for even a second." Chan was crying now, but he said every word as clear as he could. The thought that you thought of yourself as less-than deserving to be in the group and that you were hurting because of him made him feel like pulling his heart out. "This group wouldn't be compete without you. Every day I see you work I am so proud of the performer and the person you've become. I-" his voice caught again, and the tears came much harder. He turned his head away, wiping relentlessly under his eyes.
A few moments later he felt a hand on his arm. Looking over at you quickly, he saw you. Your eyes were open and tears were coming out at the same speed his was. Your lips were wobbling and when you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing that came out was a choked sob. Chan's own sob mirrored yours.
You jumped out of bed and crouched right next to Chan, hugging him tight. At your touch, Chan cried harder, pulling you close and holding a hand to your head.
"I didn't want to disappoint you but I-"
"There's no 'buts' y/n/n, you could never disappoint me. You did so well today and I was just too in my ass to see that," Chan said, holding you tighter.
"You really were an ass," you sobbed out, crying louder. "But I forgive you just please be patient with me."
"I will. I promise I will. I'll be patient and help you through whatever you need and we'll take breaks. And when it gets frustrating, we'll separate and come back after a few minutes and I promise to never, never, talk to you like that again."
The two of you stayed on the floor, crying and apologizing and making promises that you knew would be kept even when the sun rose.
Together
Felix had a real talent for baking. When the two of you emerged intact and together, they knew all was well. Felix was the first to break, giving you both a hug and punching Chan in the arm, holding back so it wouldn't hurt too much.
"We warmed up the cookies and brownies, and I added some sprinkle hearts on the cake," Felix said, walking back to the kitchen. You smiled, taking Chan's hand and following him.
"There's nothing late night sweets can't heal," Changbin said. Han just nodded along beside him, cheeks stuffed. You smiled, squishing one of his cheeks, unable to resist. He half-heartedly tried to bite your hand, making you laugh louder before sitting down next to him, putting a head on his shoulder. He responded in kind, putting his head on top of yours.
"Hey, is that a rat on the cake?" Han asked, trying to discern the shape Hyunjin drew. The artist in question gasped.
"Excuse you! A RAT?!? My cat is not a rat!"
"If you made Dori look like that I'd punch you," Minho added.
"Hyung!" Hyunjin whined.
You giggled and tried getting up to get some cookies but Han pulled you back. "Nuh-uh, you're not moving anywhere," Han said, putting a cookie to your mouth. You rolled your eyes, but chewed, sitting back contently. Chan put a plate of cake and brownies in front of you, ruffling Han's hair, earning him a bite too.
The next hour was filled with stories from the week, laughing until people started falling off chairs, and good food. When the night started catching up to you, you looked at the time and saw it was 4am. Everyone was laughing at a joke Changbin and Seungmin were telling and you smiled.
My members, you thought again, feeling warm inside.
You went off to your room, laying in your bed, letting the laughs lull you to wonderful dreams, but it wasn't long until suddenly Hyunjin yelled, "Where's y/n!" and suddenly you could hear eight pairs of feet running to your room. They rushed in, looking at you in bed, and you were smiling tiredly.
"I'm sorry, I was just tired," you said softly. Changbin cooed at you, coming over and flopping on top of you. You grunted, feeling squished, but it wasn't too bad.
Until the seven others followed, piling on top of you one by one. You sqeaked, surprised by the sudden added weight of eight guys. Everyone was moving around, trying to find a way to get comfortable until finally, they all settled down. Hums of contentment and happy sighs were heard all around.
Knowing it would be useless to fight it, you just relaxed and closed your eyes. And with your members wrapped around you like a warm blanket sleep and sweet dreams came easy.
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Thank you so much to everyone who has read this little series and showed it love. Every comment was so sweet and I am genuinely so thankful for everyone who read this! I hope you liked the finale as well! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. And as always, have a great morning, afternoon, evening, and night!
-Jini
Taglist: @armystay89 @lauraliisa @changbinisabigboy @lusimpss @laylasbunbunny @neyangi @hibs8 @lovelmh @viagiraffe @briqnne @unfwairs @silentreadersthings @strawberry31 @emily505 @beomgyu-stan-present
Divider made by: @cafekitsune
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slvt4felix ยท 11 months ago
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I Could Never Hate You (Part ||)
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Pairing -> ninth member!reader x Lee Minho WC -> ~2,700 words Includes -> lots of fluff, a little bit of angst, swearing, one small sexual innuendo, some Lee know tissue violence, arguing, Jeongin appearance, reader has anxiety but it's not mentioned as much in this part Summary -> Due to the late night revelations, you nearly forget all about your argument with Hyunjin. Will you be able to forgive him? Author's note -> I tried to make this one a little lighter to hopefully end this story on a much happier note. So donโ€™t mind my dreadful attempt of comedy. Let me know if you want part 3! I hope you have a happy new year!
โ™ก Masterlist // Previous // Next โ™ก
You gently begin to wake up feeling something soft move beneath your head. You groan lightly, not quite wanting to wake up just yet. This has to be some of the best sleep you have ever had in your life. It's warm and cozy, and you somehow feel thoroughly rested, which is often hard to come by when on tour in a different country. Some may say the day before had exhausted you, or maybe the hotel room was just really nice, but as soon as you manage to blink your eyes open, you know the true reason. You have finally found your way back home.
You shift slightly, the sun, peaking between the curtains and painting the room a beautiful golden color, was unfortunately shining right in your eyes. Now facing away from the window, you glance up at Minho, still clad in his basic white tee and sweatpants. Neither of you had even bothered to pull the blankets back up, rather seeking warmth from just each other. The blankets are still ruffled at the end of the bed from whatever Minho had been doing before you had entered the room yesterday, unbeknownst to the life-changing events that were about to occur. You slept all night laying on his chest with his arm wrapped tenderly around you, holding you close. This is definitely the reason you slept so well the night before. Who knew cuddling with your enemy could have such a positive effect?
Minho starts to grumble a bit underneath you and you begin to panic, not wanting him to wake up yet. You just want to cherish this sweet moment for as long as possible, too afraid of how his brain will react when he wakes up. There's always the chance he will regret it all, or maybe he was just joking, or maybe he was drunk. Okay, that last one might not make too much sense but you can't help but worry through all the possibilities. Your thoughts begin to race, forgetting the most important what if. That maybe, just maybe, he really did feel the same about you and everything he said last night was entirely true.
A hand caresses your cheek, breaking you from your destructive chain of thoughts. Your eyes fall upon Minho with his eyes cracked open and a gentle smile gracing his features. He must have woken up at some point while you were too lost in thought to notice.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" he asks, his eyes searching yours as if he could find all the answers to the universe within your gaze. You simply hum, not particularly fond of telling him the insecurities that were just previously running through your head. Although you love the man dearly, you are going to need a bit of time to learn to trust him again, but that's okay. Relationships need time, communication, and work to make them last.
You lean in to press a kiss to Minhoโ€™s cheek, his fluffy morning hair and groggy voice making your heart flutter. The two of you stare at each other, absorbing the moment. Despite the rough night four out of nine members had, there was still a lot of work to be done. In the life of an idol, there was no time for rest. But for now, you were going to appreciate the peaceful moment shared between the two of you. They hadnโ€™t released a set time to leave yesterday, but neither of you worried. Chan will come around knocking on the door eventually letting everyone know when to be ready by. Itโ€™s the same routine that has happened at every stop this tour. The only difference now being you and Minho holding each other while waiting for the eventual interruption to come.
Just as expected, a hesitant knocking sounds through the room. Minho instantly groans and closes his eyes again. You sigh exaggeratedly, realizing you're actually going to have to depart from the warm bed. As you pull away from Minho, he frowns and makes grabby hands towards you, as if he wasn't well aware of the reason you were leaving. You swat at his hands, letting a small giggle escape as you approach the door. You swing it open without bothering to look in the peephole, assuming it was simply Chan on the other side to let you know the schedule for the day. Instead you open the door to Hyunjin, who appears very surprised as if he had almost expected you to not answer at all. Honestly, you probably wouldn't have answered if it wasn't for you believing whole-heartedly that it was Chan. Surprisingly, the fight from last night with Hyunjin hadn't been the first thing on your mind when waking up this morning.
However, as you stare at the nervous boy in front of you, you're reminded of all the cruel, harsh words he said to you just the night before. The look of annoyance was now seared into your brain. How could your best friend do that to you? Your heart starts to ache as you think about all your favorite moments with him trying to decipher how it could have lead up to this.
He brings his eyes up from where they shot to the floor when you first came out. Upon making eye contact, it's clear just how nervous he really is. There is deep regret painted across his face and sincerity within his gaze. He looks like he came with something to say, his mouth opening and closing again as he tries to get the simple words out.
"Why are you here?" you ask him, not too unkindly. You simply want to give him a way into a conversation; he looks scared half to death that your just gonna slam the door in his face.
"I wanted to apologize, I am so so sorry," he says, emphasizing the last part heavily. Just hearing those words is almost enough to make you cave and forgive him again. He is your best friend after all. You're pretty sure he didn't mean any of it, especially after the reassurances provided by Minho the night before, but it doesnโ€™t take away all the harsh words that were spoken.
"Why would you say that to me?" you ask, hurt audible in your tone. "You know how insecure I am about that stuff."
"I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just really frustrated.โ€
โ€œWell you did and it seems like you donโ€™t even care how you made me feel.โ€
โ€œOf course I care,โ€ he says, offended at your accusation.
โ€œWell it sure as hell seemed like you couldnโ€™t give two shits last night.โ€
He simply stares back at you, regret running deep in his eyes. Thereโ€™s a slight sparkle to them, enough to tell that heโ€™s starting to tear up. He brings his hand up, scrunching the area between his eyes with his fingers. You almost remind him not to, telling him that itโ€™ll bring wrinkles to his perfect face, but you hold yourself back remembering the unfortunate situation. Things arenโ€™t okay between the two of you. Itโ€™s a weird felling considering itโ€™s something that hasnโ€™t really happened before.
Since the start of the band itโ€™s really been you and Hyunjin. You were one of the favorite friendships for the fans to obsess over, and you loved it just as much as they did. You were two peas in a pod, never leaving each other's side.
You wouldโ€™ve never expected for something like this to happen. Hyunjin wouldnโ€™t do that to you.
But you have to think rationally if you want to keep the friendship. You canโ€™t just throw all the years down the drain. Heโ€™s human, and he makes mistakes.
You hear Hyunjin inhale sharply from where he stands in front of you. You can tell heโ€™s desperately trying to hold his sobs in, not wanting to make this about himself.
โ€œFucking idiot,โ€ he whispers under his breath sending a pang through your chest. โ€œCould we sit down and talk about it? I really want to make it up to you,โ€ he says, regaining his composure. He straightens his back, his hands sliding into the pockets of his sweatpants. He nervously rocks forward a bit on his feet awaiting your answer.
As much as you want to talk it through, youโ€™re not exactly comfortable with him right now. The idea of sitting down with him and being alone is definitely not on your to-do list. You need some time to process before you can get to that point. Youโ€™re sure that if you were to try to talk it out, it would probably turn into another argument, which is something you are desperately trying to avoid.
You glance back into the room, feeling Hyunjinโ€™s eyes analyzing your movement. Minho is still in there, and itโ€™s not really the time or place to dig deep into what happened. Time may be the main healer in this situation. Heโ€™s just going to have to regain your trust.
โ€œListen, nowโ€™s not really the best time. Iโ€™m not really ready to forgive you yet, but Iโ€™m not mad at you, okay?โ€ He nods slowly, taking in your words. You can tell heโ€™s disappointed, but heโ€™s aware heโ€™s not in the position to argue.
His eyes suddenly widen, a realization occurring. His eyes shift back to the room behind you.
โ€œIs Minho in there? How did it go?โ€ he asks, a sneaky smile growing on his face, completely amused at the situation.
"It went fine," you say shortly, trying to get Hyunjin to take a hint. Instead, he gently pushes past you into the hotel room. You would've shut the door on him had it not been suspicious. You spin around as Hyunjin struts into the room. You stare at him, confused considering you had just told him you weren't willing to talk right now.
You simply watch in wonder as he looks around, stepping back slightly when he notices an intimidating Minho, staring back at him from one of the beds. You may agree to be civil with Hyunjin while he attempts to make up for everything, but that doesn't mean Minho will. You're sure his typically empty threats will finally start to hold true.
Minho is still laying on the bed right where you had left him. His phone is in his hand, as if he had been trying to distract himself from listening to your conversation. However, it seems like the phone was neglected upon Hyunjin abruptly entering the room. His eyebrows are raised in a slightly annoyed manner. He hadn't been expecting Hyunjin to actually come into the room. His eyes shift from Hyunjin to you, and you quickly look away, embarrassed to be caught staring.
Although you would never admit it to his face, damn did he look hot while he was annoyed.
"You two slept in the same bed," Hyunjin says matter of factly, bringing you out of your thoughts. Your mouth opens in shock, not understanding how he could've possibly figured that out. Minho, however, doesn't take the moment of pause.
He instantly fires back, "Yah, don't start making accusations." He sits up a bit on the bed, prepared to chase after Hyunjin, like their fights usually result in.
"So, you're telling me you two did not sleep in the same bed?" he asks with his eyebrows raised in challenge. He glances between both of you as you try to figure out what to say. You don't want to lie to your best friend, but also based off what happened last night, he doesn't really deserve to know.
Minho beats you to it answering, "That's none of your business." He says it casually followed by a shrug of his shoulders. You nearly face palm, already knowing Hyunjin's reaction.
He instantly lights up, believing his theory to now be confirmed. He makes eye contact with both you and Minho, before he makes a run for it. He spins around and rushes for the door.
"Guys I won. I won the bet!" he begins to yell as he makes it to the hallway. Luckily, this was one of the few hotels you have stayed at where you had a whole floor to yourselves. There was a close encounter with fans at your last hotel, and they wanted to be extra cautious.
Hyunjin takes advantage of this, although you're not quite sure if it's purposeful or if he's just too excited to care. He goes to yell again, wanting to let the rest of the boys know the exciting news, but he is instantly cut off with a hand to his mouth. He recognizes it as Minho's, remembering the taste of dry tissues all too well.
Hyunjin nearly stumbles as he is dragged back into the room by the shorter man. Minho isn't too rough though, completely aware of his limits. He doesn't want to hurt him, maybe just restrain him.
Minho pushes him into the desk chair standing behind it. Hyunjin spits out the tissues, frustrated at being the victim of Minho's crimes yet again. He goes to stand up, eager to spill about your relationship to everyone, but he is kept seated by firm hand on his shoulder.
โ€œMight as well tie him up while youโ€™re at itโ€ you say, giggling at Minho's antics.
โ€œHowโ€™d you know I was into that?โ€ Hyunjin retorts, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. In contrast, behind him Minho's face contorts into one of pure disgust. You canโ€™t help but laugh at the craziness of the scene in front of you. The silliness is refreshing after the dramatic night before.
โ€œY/n, hand me more tissues,โ€ Minho says, a look of determination growing on his face.
โ€œI donโ€™t know if thatโ€™s necessaryโ€ฆโ€
โ€œHeโ€™s asking for it at this point,โ€ he argues back, stretching his arm out obnoxiously. You shrug, unable to disagree with his point, emptying the last of the tissue box into his hand.
Panic fills Hyunjinโ€™s eyes as he stares at you with deep betrayal. You simply laugh, aware that he's not actually upset.
Suddenly, all three of your heads snap towards the cracked open door as it's pushed open the rest of the way. It had been left slightly open after Minho dragged Hyunjin back in. You're nervous to see who it is, scared for the teasing to come if they find out. It's not that you don't want them to know about you and Minho, you just don't want to give them the satisfaction of being right. They've been trying to get you guys to interact again for years, so they are definitely going to give you a rough teasing over it. Plus, it doesn't sound like a bad idea to keep Minho to yourself for a little bit longer.
The door lightly hits the wall and the person is revealed. Jeongin is staring at the scene before him with wide eyes. The room is a little trashed due to Hyunjin knocking over a few things in the process of the kidnapping, and he looks terrified as Minho is holding tissues. It's definitely not the most welcoming thing he's ever seen.
He had come running out of his room after hearing Hyunjin yell, unsure as to what he had said. He was staying in the room next to you two and had simply wanted to check on Hyunjin or maybe join in on the fun.
However, this was not something he wanted to be included in this early in the morning. Hyunjin gives him pleading eyes, practically begging Jeongin to stay. The maknae doesn't listen, rather breaking eye contact and leaving for his room, too scared to be on the recieving end of Minho's wrath. He hadn't even said anything, his simple observance enough to make him leave.
That wouldn't be the end of it though, he knows he'll learn all about what happened eventually. He leaves with a small smirk, wondering if they had finally managed to finally get you and Minho to make up.
Next part out now!
Taglist: @armystay89 @thisisnotjacinta @silentreadersthings @seungminsapuppy
776 notes ยท View notes
hippopotamusdreamer ยท 6 months ago
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SKZ Code: Behind the Scenes
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genre. A (heavy), F (eventually at the end)
warnings. Cheating, gaslighting, arguing, grabbing, cursing, swearing
additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids
pairing. Yoon Jeonghan x Reader, Platonic!Felix x Reader, ot8 x 9th member reader
w.c. 7.6K
synopsis. Things get heated as emotional problems follow Y/N on set after an overdue encounter with her boyfriend. So what happens when something happens to triggers that fresh memory?
a/n. This is my first ever "published" kpop fic...be nice to me LMAO After having watched SKZ CODE ep. 40, that scene between Hyunjin and Han really stuck with me and just would not get out of my head, thus, this is the result. Constructive criticism would be nice, I feel like I added a lot of detail and it could get muddled and just become a wall of text, let me know what you think.
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This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.
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Friday, 11:53 PM, unknown club in Hongdae
There were people all around you. Many of which were bumping and grinding on each other as they enjoyed themselves in all corners of the darkened building. The bass that reverberated throughout the entire club you were currently in was thumping so loud that you couldnโ€™t differentiate it from the wild beating of your heart. The thrumming in your body kept you grounded as you walked through the dense crowd. LEDs were blinking with multicolored filters and there were even a few fog machines that made the place more hip than clichรฉ. Unfortunately, the constant flashing of said lights made the oncoming headache you had, worse.
God, you wanted to leave.
You werenโ€™t even supposed to be there in the first place. But you had gotten a text from Nayeon an hour earlier that just had โ€œ???โ€ and then immediately after a photo of what looked like your boyfriend looking really fucking cozy with some girl for someone who had supposedly stayed late for practice at his company that night.
So there you were, in some random club in Hongdae, trying to keep yourself from turning into a mess. Dating ban be damned, you werenโ€™t the only idol that had tried to date in secret, and you certainly wouldnโ€™t be the last. Yet in this instance, as you made your way to the second floor VIP area, maybe you should have just followed the rules insteadโ€ฆ
Was sneaking out of your dorm at the risk of your reputation and that of your group to get some answers a good idea? Absolutely not. And having had left yours and Hyunjinโ€™s nightly skin care routine; claiming a, now very real, headache to go there didnโ€™t make it any better. Youโ€™d be in for the scolding of a lifetime if any of the guys were to find out you where you were.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Saturday, 12:45 AM, VIP lounge, unknown club in Hongdae
Moving past the bouncer of the VIP section, Nayeon walked up, having waited for you to come. One look at your distressed state and she quickly pulled you into a hug. Letting go and without another word she turned you to the left and you finally came face to face with what you had been hoping was misunderstanding until this very moment.
Just like it had been in the photo Nayeon had sent earlier, there he was. An overly relaxed looking Jeonghan manspreading in his seat as an unknown pretty girl, who looked far too comfortable for it to be their first time together like this, sat perched on his lap. You both watched as she leaned down to whisper in his ear, placing her hand none too subtly on his chest in the process. The grin he gave her as he wrapped his arm around her waist was what snapped you out of your stupor.
โ€œY/N, wait!โ€ Nayeon yelled after you as you finally found the will to move forward. Certain now that the thrumming you felt earlier was your heart and not the music.
You were practically in front of them and yet they paid you no mind. In their own little bubble, ignorant to the storm inside you. โ€œYahโ€ฆ Yoon Jeonghan, are you fucking kidding me?โ€
Jeonghan glanced at you slowly, like he hadnโ€™t a care in the world for whoever was interrupting him, only to sit up from his slouched position, eyes wide in shock. Instantly pulling away from the girl that had basically plastered herself onto him. โ€œY-Y/N! What are you doing here?โ€ He managed to stutter out, frantically looking around, unsure of how you got there.
โ€œI should be asking you the same thing. The PLEDIS building sure got a damn upgrade since the last time I was there,โ€ the venom in your voice apparent even over the loud music.
โ€œBaby, please, itโ€™s not what it looks like!โ€ He gets up from his seat to get into your personal bubble to be heard. You see from your peripheral that the girl he was with slink off to somewhere else. The booming of the music made it hard to hear him but itโ€™s easy to tell that he was trying to make excuses. Jeonghan probably felt the same way because in the next instance he was grabbing you by the arm and all but dragged you to the outside smoking balcony. You try to jerk free but heโ€™s stronger than you, though he is struggling.
โ€œLet me go!โ€
The balcony is empty of other people surprisingly and the music is still loud out there but at least youโ€™re able to hear each other better as he whorls around to face you.
โ€œNot until you hear me out!โ€
โ€œThereโ€™s nothing for me to hear! It looks like my boyfriend was about to get Real. Fucking. Personal. With. Someone. Else.โ€ You punctuate each word with a jab to his chest.
He grabs on to the appendage only to then forcefully let go as he steps away from you. The tick in his jaw letting you know he was already annoyed.
Good. So were you.
โ€œLook would you just chill the fuck out! We werenโ€™t even doing anything.โ€
โ€œโ€ฆShe was sitting on your lap and you werenโ€™t doing shit about itโ€ฆโ€
โ€œSo she was sitting on my lap, who the fuck cares?โ€
โ€œI do! And as my โ€œboyfriendโ€, you should have had some respect for your partner and not do shit like that! How do you think that makes me feel Jeong?โ€
โ€œOh my god babe, itโ€™s not that serious,โ€ he says as he rolls his eyes, as if exasperated. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his body language.
โ€œOk, so if you were to see me with some random guy in the position you were in just now, itโ€™d be fine? Is what youโ€™re telling me?โ€ You question hypothetically while aggressively gesturing to the building behind you.
โ€œBabeโ€ฆโ€
โ€œNo, I want to understand. Cause youโ€™re saying it wasnโ€™t that bad right? So I can just go inside and find some guy to get with and youโ€™ll be ok with it, right?โ€
โ€œโ€ฆYouโ€™re starting to piss me off.โ€
โ€œNews flash, Iโ€™m already pissed off. If Nayeon hadnโ€™tโ€”โ€
โ€œNayeon? Oh yeah,โ€ he spat out as he rolled his neck, โ€œnow it makes so much fucking sense. You know she fucking hates me babe, hasnโ€™t liked me since you introduced us eight months ago. I told you sheโ€™s not a good friend if she keeps trying to break us up.โ€
โ€œOh my god, not this again...,โ€ Now itโ€™s your turn to roll your eyes.
โ€œSheโ€™s always putting shit inside your head about us! Sheโ€™ll say anythingโ€”"
โ€œThatโ€™s not the fucking point right now! The point is that if youโ€™re willing to do this in front of people, what kind of things are you doing when no oneโ€™s a-fucking-round! I know what I saw Jeonghan!โ€
โ€œJesus fuck! I made out with someone one time at a party and now you hold it over my head!โ€
โ€œBecause if DK and I hadnโ€™tโ€™ve caught you you probably would have slept with her! You practically had your hand up her dress that time!โ€
โ€œShe literally means nothing to me!โ€
โ€œSo, youโ€™re willing to risk our relationship for nothing?โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re being so dramatic right now for no reason!โ€
โ€œNo reason?โ€ You were stunned.
โ€œItโ€™s not that big a deal! God, if I had known that you were going to be this insecure about our relationship, I wouldnโ€™t have even asked you out!โ€
โ€œIโ€™m only like this because of what you did!โ€
The both of you were far too into your heated argument to notice that the door to the balcony open and close.
Only a split second passed as Jeonghan latched onto your arm tightly again and got in your face. You whimper out at the sudden contact knowing full well youโ€™d most likely have a hand shaped bruise to cover up later.
You wince as pain radiates up your arm.
โ€œLetโ€™s get one thing fucking straightโ€”โ€
But he never got the chance to finish his sentence as he was forcefully yanked away from you. The familiar multicolored hair of you bandmember stands in front of you as Jeonghan nurses his now bruising cheek.
โ€œFelixโ€ฆ?โ€ You whisper in wonder. What was he doing there? How did he know where to find you? Your heart picks up from the adrenaline of this night.
โ€œDonโ€™t you ever put your hands on her again, do you hear me?โ€ Felix said evenly, glaring daggers at Jeonghan. Felix may have been shorter than him but in that moment, he was the most intimidating of the two.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Saturday, 2:19 AM, Felixโ€™s bedroom โ€“ VOCALRACHA dorm
You sat in the back of the blacked-out car that Felix has pulled up in. The driver giving the two of you a moment as Felix comforts your hunched over crying form.
You had learned that when you had first confronted Jeonghan, Nayeon had a feeling something would go wrong and immediately went to call Felix. He had been in the middle of playing one of his games when he got the call and proceeded to also sneak out if his dorm to meet her at the front of the club. From there, he got the gist of the information and made his way upstairs with the thought of being a mediator. Only with what he witnessed, it quickly put an end to that idea.
It was Felix who had opened the door to the balcony in the middle of your argument and lost it when Jeonghan put his hands on you.
After that was a bit of a blur for you as Nayeon and Felix maneuvered you through the club discreetly in case someone saw and the media get a hold of that information. All you knew is that Jeonghan tried to come at the two of you but the 63 taekwondo medal holder put him in his place. Felix eventually managed to get you out of there safely but not before letting you confirm out loud that it was officially over between you and Jeonghan.
Jeonghan was too busy writhing in pain to argue back.
So here you were, finally allowing yourself to feel all the emotions of the night, crying into Felix as he pats your hair soothingly, protective arm wrapped around you.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry you had to come out h-here,โ€ you hiccup.
โ€œItโ€™s alright Jellybean, Iโ€™m just glad I got there in time to stop him from doing anything more to you. Howโ€™s your arm?โ€
Sniffling, you pull back from him and shift your arm forward. He turns on the flashlight from his phone to see and the both of you come face to face with the repercussions of angry actions. As you thought, an outline of bruised digits were beginning to form like a bad tattoo on your bicep.
He sucks a breath between his teeth as he ghosts his fingers over the bruise. Heโ€™s silent as he tries to reel in his anger as he fights himself on going back inside and beating the shit out of the other idol.
But one look at your tear-stained face stops him.
โ€œIโ€™ll tell Chan and Lee Know-hyung that I called you over to our dorm later so they wonโ€™t go looking for you. That way you can just stay in my room.โ€
โ€œOh Lix, you donโ€™t haveโ€”โ€
โ€œNo itโ€™s ok, I donโ€™t think you should be alone right now and Iโ€™m pretty sure you donโ€™t want anyone to know about what happened.โ€
You stay quiet because you know heโ€™s right. Reluctantly, you nod at his offer, grateful for the angel of your group.
He gives you a small sad smile as he brings you back into his arms, placing a comforting kiss on your head. Doesnโ€™t say a word when you quietly start to cry again; just continues to pat your hair as the driver comes back into the car and takes the both of you back to Felixโ€™s dorm.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
You spent a total of 5 days in Felixโ€™s room, crying. You finally managed to explain to Felix that you and Jeonghan had been secretly dating for about 10 months until then but that he had already cheated one you at least once, that you know of, before at an after party of one of the award shows. One of Jeonghanโ€™s members had been with you when you caught him in the act and had gotten you out of there before a scene was caused.
Youโ€™d forgiven him after some heavy persuasion on his part but that left you feeling insecure about the relationship since it happened just about a month ago. Heโ€™d always had anger issues, but the night at the club was the first time he ever tried to grab you like that. When Nayeon eunnie messaged you that Friday night about seeing him with a different girl this time; you had to confront him before he had a chance to deny it.
You felt bad but Felix kept reassuring you that it was ok that you stayed there and that made you want to cry more. As he promised, he messaged the oldest members of your whereabouts. And with good timing too since according to Chan, Hyunjin had went into your room Saturday morning to wake you for the morning skin routine, but you were gone and he was about ready to freak out.
After that first night, Felix came up with the plan to say that you got hit with a weird bug and that itโ€™d be too much of a hassle to move you back to your room in the 3RACHA dorm (plus ย you and Hyunjin) so you might as well just stay in his room for the time being. Minho came to check on you that night, but Felix managed to convince him that it wasnโ€™t bad enough to go to the hospital; you just needed to rest and eat something not too heavy. It wasnโ€™t that far off from the truth honestly, and it was a good excuse to stop anyone else from checking up on you.
So Felixโ€™s room was now a designated โ€œquarantine zoneโ€ and no one was allowed to go in and bother you. Felix being the only one able to go in and out since it was his room after all. Your phone had been bombarded with texts from all your members trying to check up on you, pinging every few minutes with memes and well wishes. It wasnโ€™t until you kept getting back-to-back calls and texts from your now ex-boyfriend that you turned off your phone, not wanting to deal with him now or ever again.
Just like you thought, the bruise on your arm had gotten darker and it was easy to tell what had caused it. With just one glance at your arm, you knew that with how protective the guys were over you, that the entirety of Stray Kids would go looking for a fight with your ex and your group absolutely did not need any heat in the media right now. It was hard enough keeping Lix from going out there once he looked at your arm again and taking matters into his own hands. Let alone all eight of them if word got out.
No, you had just wanted to wallow in self-pity for now.
Currently, Felix sat next to you in bed as you lay curled up by his side. He was letting you know that Chan had stopped by again to check on you when you were asleep earlier and had left you your designated SKZOO, a bear cub named Gom-N/N-ie, to โ€œhelp you feel bettah.โ€ You felt guilty for lying to him, all of them really, after that while accepting your SKZOO from the sunshine man. Bringing it to your chest, you bury your face in the familiar feeling of your plushie.
โ€œYou know you donโ€™t have to go tomorrow, right? We can tell the managers that youโ€™re sick, too,โ€ Felixโ€™s deep voice broke through the quiet of the room from his spot next to you as he gently combed his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow all of you were to begin shooting for a special new episode of SKZ Code for Chuseok. Youโ€™d completely forgot about it until you overheard Minho and Innie talking about it outside of the door earlier.
You were quiet for a moment, contemplating on what you should say and do. You know you canโ€™t keep hiding out in Felixโ€™s room like this, itโ€™s not fair to him. He doesnโ€™t like lying to the other members either yet is doing it just for your sake. Heโ€™s been working hard to deflect any and all questions, comments and concerns about your wellbeing while also placating everyone else. Youโ€™ve definitely put your younger member in a difficult position.
You owe him a lot, your little sunshine.
โ€œโ€ฆIโ€™ll go.โ€
His hand stills in your hair, waiting to see if youโ€™ll say anything else.
โ€œIโ€™ll go with everyone tomorrow. Youโ€™re probably sick of me being in here anyways,โ€ you quietly laugh out.
โ€œNaur, what?โ€ His Aussie accent coming out as he switches from Korean to English and back again. โ€œIโ€™m not sick of you, I could never be. If anything, the others are jealous cause Iโ€™m the only one thatโ€™s gotten to see you!โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s such a lie, Lee Yongbok!โ€ you finally laugh out loud for the first time since Friday night while swatting him in the leg playfully.
โ€œItโ€™s true, noona! Binnie Hyung was about ready to tackle me to get inside the room yesterday!โ€
The image alone of your buff bun trying to tackle your sunshine lad had you in stitches. What you didnโ€™t see was the loving gaze of said sunshine, glad to see you at least somewhat happy again after everything thatโ€™s happened.
For this moment in time, thatโ€™s all he could ask for.
Felix gently grazes his fingers over your bruised arm, his smile slightly faltering at what he sees. Moving his hand back to your hair, he gently pulls a few strands just to get your attention.
โ€œItโ€™s gonna be ok, you know. Iโ€™ll be there to help you if you need it, alright? Youโ€™re not gonna be alone.โ€
โ€œI know Lixโ€ฆthank you. For everything.,โ€ you respond quietly.
His only action is to bend down and give you another comforting forehead kiss. The two of you remain quiet for the rest of the night until it was time for bed.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Thursday, 8:15 AM, VOCALRACHA dorm
As soon as you followed Felix out of the bedroom, you were accosted by the one and only ย maknae on top.
โ€œNoona!โ€ Jeongin yelled out, too loud for what time it was. โ€œAre you feeling better? Do you need more medicine, a doctor?โ€
โ€œYah! Let her breathe.โ€ The three of you jump in the middle of the hallway as the admonishing tone of Minho could be distinguished from the kitchen. Heโ€™d probably heard Innie from all the way over there.
Chuckling, you give him a small smile and a pat to his head to calm him down.
โ€œIโ€™m ok right now Innie, thank you for checking up on me.โ€
โ€œYou really had us worried noona, Lee Know-hyung was about to burst in there and take you to the hospital himself as soon as he found out you werenโ€™t feeling good if it werenโ€™t for Felix hyung.โ€
Youโ€™d figured something like that was bound to happen. You were even more grateful to Felix for all his efforts. You giggle at his comment and the three of you continue to the kitchen where Seungmin was also waiting.
โ€œMorning everyone,โ€ you greeted, sitting down next to the second youngest of you all.
โ€œAre you sure youโ€™re feeling ok enough to shoot today?โ€ Seungmin asks quietly while placing a cup of juice in front of you which you gratefully take. You nod in agreeance as a bowl of porridge is placed in front of you. Minho pats your head before walking away to get the other dishes for breakfast.
โ€œWeโ€™ll let the director-nim know that you should take it easier today at least,โ€ he says while serving the rest of the guys at the table. Before you can protest, he sends you a heated look that leaves no room for argument.
With a twitch to your lips, you canโ€™t help but to agree with him too. โ€œI understand, thank you for breakfast.โ€
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Thursday, 11:15 AM โ€“ SKZ Code shoot location, dressing room 1
Meeting the other half of your group went just about the same. Except more scolding from Hyunjin for skipping out on your daily routine. Although that was mostly an excuse because he was just so worried when he didnโ€™t see you in your room that first morning.
โ€œReally Y/N-ie, you should have messaged me first!โ€ the pout on his lips not hard to find as he tugs on your sleeve.
โ€œY/N-ah, you should have seen him!โ€ the boisterous voice of Changbin joins the two of you as you sit in your designated dressing room waiting for your leaderโ€™s return. The two of them immediately ambushing you, much like Jeongin this morning, upon your arrival. โ€œHe wouldnโ€™t stop bothering Channie hyung for information on how you were doing!โ€
That evokes the lankier one of the two to get flustered and from there the two start a playful argument of no-I-wasnโ€™tโ€™s and yes-you-wereโ€™s. Just being with them again really did set your mind and heart at easy after the past couple of days. Not to mention a good distraction.
A quiet โ€œnoonaโ€ catches your attention from the squabble in front of you and has you turning to face Han questioningly.
โ€œI brought you a red ginseng drink to keep your health up today.โ€
You wanted to cry again for an altogether different reason. Your members cared for you so much, each in their own different ways. You donโ€™t know what youโ€™d do without them.
โ€œAhh, thank you, Hannie. Iโ€™ll drink this right now.โ€ The initial taste of the ginger is gross but it had a hint of sweetness at the end so the overall drink wasnโ€™t too bad. Especially if you try to take it all in one go.
Han sits next to you on the couch, Felix following shortly after, as I.N and Minho join in on the fray to annoy the already hyped-up boys. Although they could all be loud and wild sometimes, it was just a part of their charm.
Chan comes back into the room about 5 minutes later gaining everyoneโ€™s attention.
โ€œAlright, I got everything squared away with the director and producers. Y/N, they know youโ€™re just getting better,โ€ he states, staring directly at you as if heโ€”, no there was no way, right? โ€œSo, youโ€™re going to be given more of the easier things to do alright?โ€
The panic in your head only allows you to nod at him as you grab Felixโ€™s hand for a quiet support. He doesnโ€™t skip a beat in intertwining your hands together.
โ€œGreat, weโ€™ve got 10 minutes before they want us to start going to make up and changing. Then weโ€™re all going to film an intro piece for the episode. Anyone have any questions or problems with that?
When no one responded, Chan just nods and heads to the far corner and sits with his phone for a bit. You canโ€™t help but think you feel his gaze every once in a while but brush it off as paranoia.
The time eventually comes to split off as the boys go to their own designated dressing room and you stay in the current one. The stylists helping you to get ready for what is surely to be an interesting shoot if the hanbok you have to wear is anything to go off of.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Thursday, 1:15 PM โ€“ SKZ Code shoot location
[I.N - Lee Know's younger sister, Yongbok and Y/N's aunt]
[Changbin - High school jock / Always steps up to keep his family together]
[HAN - A sweet but strict father (But somewhat seems polite)]
[Hyunjin - The sassy mother]
[Lee Know - A tough woman but a lenient mother to Yongbok and Y/N]
[Seungmin - Survives through the attacks by Lee Know, I.N, and daughterโ€™s Y/N and Yongbok]
[Yongbok - Sassy and brave like his mom, sister, and aunt]
[Bang Chan - The youngest son, loves his mom the most and hates his brother / Is always losing out to cousin Yongbok]
[Y/N โ€“ The exasperated oldest of the grandkids back from university/ Yongbokโ€™s sister]
One rainy Chuseok morning, the SKZ Family are gathering in a long while today CHUSEOK SPECIAL : SKZ Family Returns
You stand off to the side, waiting for your cue to join, with the rest of the group as Channie and Felix do the beginning of the intro skit. Itโ€™s hard to keep the giggles in with how cute the both of them look and act.
โ€œHi...,โ€ Chan started out shyly.
โ€œHi!โ€ Felix sassed out immediately in response.
โ€œHow old are you?โ€
Felix counts slowly with his fingers, โ€œโ€ฆThree. How about you?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m five. Iโ€™m older than you.โ€
Felix plucks out two more digits to make five on his hand.
โ€œYouโ€™re right.โ€
โ€œMmโ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t look older though.โ€
โ€œWhy are you talking down to me?โ€
โ€œMind your own business.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t talk down to me!โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t yell!โ€
โ€œOkayโ€ฆ,โ€ Chan whispers out. โ€œMommy!โ€
โ€œDaddy!โ€
They both start crying and thatโ€™s your you cue to walk into the frame behind them.
โ€œHey! Stop crying!โ€
โ€œNoona!โ€ โ€œEunnie!โ€
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Filming was going smoothly so far. It was just the beginning though so nothing too taxing had happened yet. Felix just finished introducing himself as three-year-old Yongbok who gets her good looks from her mom and wants to live with her mother after their divorce.
โ€œWaaah, my little sister is so cute,โ€ you say out loud with a smile, Felix sticking his tongue out at you in response.
โ€œYes, both of my daughters are so cute,โ€ Lee Know says while pinching your cheek since you sat beside him. There went your smile.
โ€œAhh! Mom!โ€
โ€œY/N-ie, itโ€™s your turn to introduce yourself,โ€ Seungmin, as your father, says not even bothering to help you out. You make a noncommittal sound as you fight with Lee Know to let go of your cheek still. More than half the guys laughing at your antics.
โ€œMom, please!โ€
โ€œOhh, but how can I let go of these cheeks huh,โ€ he says in a babying tone, as he does in fact, let you go.
You rub your cheek as you sit down on the stool and face the proper direction.
โ€œHello, Iโ€™m Yongbokโ€™s older sister, Y/N. Iโ€™m tirelessly working on maintaining my high marks in school but currently on break from university. So Iโ€™m glad to be home and able to spend this time with my family.โ€
โ€œYou get you book smarts from your dad,โ€ Han says chuckling.
โ€œAnd your street smarts from your mom,โ€ Seungmin joins in. Lee Know, jokingly takes the bubble gun blower in front of him and aims it at his โ€˜husbandโ€™.
โ€œThatโ€™s right, so you better watch what you say.โ€
Youโ€™re laughing at the scene before you as Hyunjin continues the skit, โ€œY/N-ie, what are you studying in college?โ€
โ€œUhh,โ€ you didnโ€™t really have a concept for this character, until you lock eyes with Chan and then the kiddie computer in front of him. โ€œIโ€™m studyingโ€ฆm-music producing?โ€ you get out before laughing since producing was certainly not your forte. And everyone in front of you knew that.
โ€œNoona is so cool,โ€ Chan says from his spot on the ground. โ€œBetter than my older brother.โ€
โ€œAww, thanks Channie,โ€ you beam at him as he beams back.
โ€œYah Bang Chan!โ€ Binnie yells from behind him before yelling in pain because Chan leaned back against his legs.
โ€œChangbin, donโ€™t yell at you brother,โ€ Hyunjin says as his mom.
โ€œMmm, my daughter is so talented. Getting in the best university of the country, getting good grades and look at her face, just like me,โ€ He strikes a little pose. โ€œMaybe next holiday sheโ€™ll bring home a boyfriend,โ€ Lee Know continues in character.
The smile on your face freezes as your heart zings in pain. Youโ€™ve become still in your seat as you feel Felixโ€™s eyes on you. He being the only ones to notice your hands balling into fists on your skirt.
โ€œโ€ฆMom,โ€ you start off slowly. Your hesitancy easily mistakable for your characterโ€™s young adult/college student love life being interrogated by their parent. โ€œThatโ€™sโ€ฆโ€
โ€œShe doesnโ€™t need to be dating in college,โ€ Seungmin cuts you off. โ€œWe met in college and now weโ€™re getting a divorce!โ€
โ€œYeah but she wonโ€™t meet a mistake like you and go through any hardships. So sheโ€™ll be fine .โ€
Grin faltering, you begin to bite the inside of your lip to stop your eyes from getting glossy. Your nose starting to sting, a tale tell sign that you wanted to cry. Your actual hardships flashing in your mind.
โ€œMommy, daddy, donโ€™t fight,โ€ Felix tries to distract them.
โ€œWeโ€™re not fighting,โ€ Lee Know quickly responds as you get up from your seat to switch places with him. Felix quickly looping his arm around yours, taking your hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze.
You give him one back as you stare at a spot by your feet.
.
.
.
Despite the earlier hiccup, everything was going fine. Both Lee Know and Seungmin went on to introduce themselves, which was a skit about how Lee Know got married for money and that they were in the process of getting a divorce more than anything. And then Innie looking out for his nieces because what was said in front of them.
It was then decided that Yongbok was going with Lee Know and you were going with Seungmin. Both kids pouting at this information for being separated.
. โ‹… หšฬฃ- : โœง : โ€“ โญ’ โŠน โญ’ โ€“ : โœง : -หšฬฃโ‹… .
Next up was Han, whoโ€™s outfit immediately got torn to pieces by everyone in the room. Him trying to explain that he got his style from his father caused everyone to derail in laughter.
He brings back everyoneโ€™s attention by restarting his introduction.
โ€œIโ€™m Yongbok and Y/N-ieโ€™s uncle, but I could be their new father.โ€
โ€œTheir new father?โ€ Lee Know questions immediately as you and Felix looked shocked at him.
โ€œI mean, Iโ€™ll be that much kinder to them.โ€
A few of the members understand what he means by that and Hyunjin speaks up in relief, โ€œI was worried.โ€
โ€œHey, just a few days ago,โ€ Seungmin speaks up from beside you asking a seemingly innocent question until it wasnโ€™t. โ€œDid you enjoy dinner with the friend I introduced to you?โ€
There was a pause in the room. Han looking a little shell-shocked as he responds.
โ€œWhy are you mentioning that now?โ€
Everyoneโ€™s quiet as Hyunjin gets up from his seated position. Your heartbeat picking up, flashes of your very recent tragedy of a relationship flashing in your mind. All the heartache came rushing back as the scene before you kept unfolding. Your heartbeat picking up in your chest as you look between the two.
โ€œWhat does that mean?โ€ Hyunjin asked cluelessly.
โ€œYou knew momโ€™s a jealous person!โ€ Changbin yells from his spot next to I.N.
You canโ€™t say anything as the ball of emotions in your throat gets bigger. Felix tries to comfort you but gets pulled away by Lee Know whoโ€™s trying to cover his eyes.
โ€œClose your eyes and open your nose,โ€ he says to Felix. If only you could shut out the blood rushing in your ears.
The deep breath that Hyunjin takes is something you felt from deep within your core. โ€œTry explaining yourself.โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œTry explaining.โ€
โ€œYou didnโ€™t tell her?โ€ Seungmin jumps in with a grin, making the situation worse. โ€œI thought you did.โ€
Itโ€™s a joke. Itโ€™s a joke. Itโ€™s a joke.
You repeat to yourself as you try to control your breathing. Itโ€™s not their fault that you basically went through something so distressingly similar not even a week ago and they didnโ€™t know about it. Staring at your lap, your hands begin to tremble and you can just feel your lips wobbling.
โ€œHoney,โ€ Han laughs out nervously.
โ€œWas she prettier than me?โ€
You bring your hands up to cover part of your face. That had been one of many questions that had been plaguing you since the first time Jeonghan had cheated on you. You never got a good look at the first girl and the second girl was definitely pretty to you. You close your eyes, eyebrows furrowing, to try to block out the scene. You hope they canโ€™t here you sniffling.
โ€œโ€ฆYaaahh,โ€ is all that Han can respond with, wanting to avoid answering the question.
Did he even feel guilty for what he did? Or did he just move on as if the last 10 months together didnโ€™t mean anything?
ย A warm hand on your knee makes you open your eyes and youโ€™re met with Chanโ€™s concerned gaze as your eyesight becomes blurry with the tears quickly gathering there. His concern quickly becomes full on worry as a single tear drops down your cheek.
You needed to get out of there, quickly. It was a wonder how the others havenโ€™t picked up on how upset youโ€™re getting.
โ€œMom, no oneโ€™s prettier than you,โ€ Changbin pipes up as he stands up next to Hyunjin.
โ€œThatโ€™s right!โ€
Did Jeonghan ask his members not to tell you anything? Were they in on everything?
ย โ€œLee Knowโ€ฆ?โ€ Han questions.
โ€œHuh?โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t tell them we met yesterday.โ€
Would they have told you if they knew? Or did they all laugh about you behind their backs? Did Jeonghan even like you, or did he just keep you around because you were convenient?
This endless cycle of negative questions kept spiraling in your mind as the skit the boys were doing continued to play out before you.
Lee Know, with a grin on his face, turns to look at Hyunjin whoโ€™s sat down next to Seungmin again. โ€œItโ€™s fine, I saw someone today too.โ€ Hyunjin says in retaliation as he grabs onto Seungmin.
โ€œWait a minuteโ€ฆโ€ Han starts but youโ€™ve had enough by this point. The sob you try to hide was heard throughout the group and everyone freezes.
You hurriedly get up from your spot between Seungmin and Felix and trip twice trying to get out of there. The chaos that ensues as the fabric of your hanbok getting caught under your foot was instantaneous as Chan, Changbin, and Felix immediately try to catch you. The small leg space not making it easy to leave quickly.
โ€œNoona?โ€ I.N asks fearfully, breaking character as he sees the state that youโ€™re in.
โ€œY/N-ah?โ€ Minho asks from his side of the couch starting to get up from his seat.
Han, Seungmin, and Hyunjin quiet in their shock of whatโ€™s happening.
โ€œSorryโ€”,ย  Iโ€”, Pleaseโ€ฆ,โ€ you sob out as you finally get out of the cramped space. Felix and Chan following right behind you as you run to the restroom to lock yourself in there. The door closing in both of their faces. The brief look at your expression, blotchy and covered in tears, breaking their hearts.
You hug yourself as you slide down against the door, finally allowing yourself to cry fully. Even through your sobs, you can hear the other members coming up to the other side of the door to check on you. You could faintly make out the deep timbre of Felixโ€™s voice most likely trying to diffuse the situation which makes you cry more. You werenโ€™t ready to face any of this, or them, now. Should have just stayed home instead of making a mess like this.
You werenโ€™t sure how much time had passed when you heard a gentle knock on the door behind you. Your tears still flowing slowly but at least you werenโ€™t full on sobbing now. Sniffling, youโ€™re hesitant as you look towards the locked doorknob.
โ€œY/N-ah, itโ€™s just me,โ€ Chan says from the other side. โ€œEveryone else went to go talk to the manager and director to give us a break right now.โ€
Not saying anything, he clears his throat before asking quietly, โ€œDo you think you can let me in?โ€
The double entendre isnโ€™t lost on you. Whether Chan knew what he said or not was unknown to you. With some tentativeness, you manage to wiggle to the wall to be able to unlock and open the door for him.
Chan slips into the restroom and closes the door swiftly behind him. You look small to him as you sat huddled into yourself on the ground. Not like your usual boisterous self. He doesnโ€™t say anything as he sits down next to you. Doesnโ€™t pressure you to say anything, either. Just sits with you, waiting patiently for you to be comfortable enough to tell him whatโ€™s wrong.
So you sit there in silence for a few moments more. Trying to gather the courage to lay yourself emotionally bare to your leader. You pick at the fabric you have on, sniffling every now and then until Chan gently places his hand over yours in comfort. And to probably stop you from tearing a hole in your clothesโ€ฆ
He lets you play with his hand until you manage to take a deep breath. For the second time since the whole fiasco happened, you find yourself confiding your problem with a member. Going into a bit more detail than what you did with Felix.
You told Chan everything while on the floor in that little restroom.
How you first met Jeonghan, how you kept bumping into him after the shows you all did, how you ended up exchanging numbers. To how you kept in touch after that, kept meeting up until he eventually asked you out. Occasionally sneaking out of the dorm to meet up with him at his insistence.
You thought Chan would get mad at that, but he didnโ€™t say anything. Just squeezed your hand to get you to continue with your story.
You told Chan how you caught Jeonghan cheating the first time, and how DK all but dragged you out of there but it didnโ€™t even matter because you saw everything. That messed you up mentally and was the reason why you had messed up a lot during dance practice the next day.
Chan remembers the day you were talking about. He thought something was wrong but kept it to himself, hoping youโ€™d come talk to him about it, but you never did.
You explained the fight that happened a week after catching him back then. How you eventually, and stupidly, ended up forgiving him and continuing the relationship only for him to go behind your back and do it again a couple of days ago.
โ€œSo you werenโ€™t sick?โ€ he cuts in, finally breaking his silence.
โ€œI meanโ€ฆnot in the contagious senseโ€ฆ,โ€ you explain while turning to him. He nods, letting you continue as he tries to wipe the dried tears off your face.
โ€œSo yeah, Nayeon called me up that Friday night and I had to sneak out to Hongdae. Sorryโ€ฆabout that by the wayโ€ฆ,โ€ you clear your throat, avoiding eye contact with him altogether. โ€œSo I saw him literally in the act again and had to confront him about it this time. We ended up going outside and basically just having an all-out screaming match with each other. Where, by the way, he tried to gaslight the shit out of me, but it didnโ€™t work. Thankfully, Felix showed up when he did though because Jeonghan ended up grabbing me really hard. Who knows what he could have done if Lix hadnโ€™t gotten there in time.โ€
You let go of Chanโ€™s hand, which was still intertwined with yours, to rub against your bruised shoulder.
โ€œWaitโ€ฆhe put his hands on you?โ€
You donโ€™t pick up on his tone as you nod and take off the jeogori jacket layer of your hanbok. Presenting your, now, heavily bruised arm, Chan takes it delicately in his hands.
โ€œI asked the stylist to try to use coverup on it, but it was just so dark and it still hurt so she couldnโ€™t do much about it in the end.โ€
Gently, he touches the colorfully marred skin not saying a word, his jaw ticking in anger at what heโ€™s seeing.
You donโ€™t even get a word out before heโ€™s up and bolting out of the restroom. Face clouded in rage.
โ€œCh-Chan!โ€ Scrambling, you grab the jeogori from the ground and run after him, not even bothering to put it back on. โ€œChannie, wait!โ€
The other members of your group had managed to clear the room of the staff and had been hovering close the door the entire time, waiting patiently for the two of you to come out. What they werenโ€™t expecting was an infuriated Chan and an anxious you to come out of there.
โ€œWhatโ€™s happening,โ€ Changbin asked, lowkey getting worked up just seeing his leader on edge.
โ€œIโ€™m gonna kill him,โ€ is all Chan says.
โ€œWho?โ€ Han asks, also getting anxious.
โ€œNoona, what happened to your arm?โ€ Innie asks from beside you, gently grabbing your bruised arm. That captures everyone elseโ€™s attention. Your face pales as you realize your mistake.
โ€œIs that a bruise?โ€ โ€œWhy does it look like a hand?โ€ โ€œWho the hell touched you?โ€ โ€œNoona, are you ok?โ€
โ€œIโ€” ,โ€ youโ€™re on the verge of panicking, not knowing what to do.
This catches Chanโ€™s attention and breaks the trance of rage heโ€™s in. He makes his way back to you and brings you into a big hug. He holds you in his arms as you try to hide away from everyoneโ€™s prying eyes.
But honestly, theyโ€™re just so worried about you.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Iโ€™m sorry,โ€ Channie whispers into your hair. Shaking your head, you understand everyoneโ€™s concerns, you just wish it wasnโ€™t revealed this way.
Keeping your face in Chanโ€™s chest to hide, your muffled response is heard. โ€œLong story short, I got into it with an ex a couple of days ago because he was cheating and heโ€ฆput his hands on meโ€ฆโ€
Just like you thought, they were all visibly upset for you.
โ€œThis happened to youโ€ฆand I wasโ€ฆโ€ Han became visibly pale compared to the others as his actions up until you ran out sprang to his mind. That prompted the other boys, besides Felix, to realize why you had gotten upset enough to leave the set in the first place. All of them immediately apologizing to you, getting upset with themselves and begging for your forgiveness.
โ€œWho is it?โ€ Seungmin asks menacingly from somewhere behind you, voice quivering with emotion. Guard dog mode being activated.
โ€œNo, guysโ€”โ€
โ€œHeโ€™s gonna wish he only got a bruised arm once Iโ€™m done with him,โ€ Changbin says while rolling his neck in annoyance now. Minho and Felix are taking off their own hanbokโ€™s as I.N and Hyunjin stretch out themselves, preparing for a beatdown.
โ€œNoona, seriously, who did this to you?โ€ Han asks you quietly next to you, mood sad yet protective.
โ€œGuys really, thereโ€™s nothing to forgive. You didnโ€™t know what was going on, you donโ€™t have to do anything,โ€ You pipe up, finally pulling away from Chan a little. His arms tighten around you slightly, not wanting to let you go fully.
โ€œY/N-ah, we have every right to want to have your back on this. Heโ€™s not gonna get away with putting his hands on you,โ€ Chan explains to you still upset about all the information that youโ€™ve shared with him.
โ€œNo, I get that, I swear,โ€ you rotate in his arms to face the others. โ€œI appreciate all of you wanting to go and kick his ass. But I swear itโ€™s not necessary. Felix already beat the shit out of him. His company put out a statement saying heโ€™s taking a break for a bit for โ€˜health reasonsโ€™.โ€
All of you turn to Felix, whoโ€™s now taking off his headband, cool expression on his face. โ€œIโ€™m not against kicking his ass again, Jellybean.โ€
You stare at him dumbfounded until you burst into laughter because of course he wouldnโ€™t. None of them would be. Because this is your family away from family. Theyโ€™re dead set in wanting to protect you, and each other, from any and everything that could be harmful.
The others stare at you as if youโ€™ve finally lost your mind which prompts you to just say, โ€œI love you guys.โ€
Felix, besides Chan who is still holding you, is the first to step up and give you a very much needed hug. A little confused, the rest of the guys follow suit and you all end up in one massive hug.
Until one of the younger boys starts fighting with Changbin and they all break away.
โ€œDonโ€™t think this lets you off the hook for sneaking out of the dorm, Y/N-ah,โ€ Chan says out loud from behind you as youโ€™re still wrapped in his arms.
โ€œYou did what?!โ€ Minho could be heard yelling, which causes you to groan.
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theysaidhush ยท 3 months ago
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hii its my first time req also i love love love ur writing ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป i was wondering if u could do an ot8 skz x fem reader poly and if not either seungmin or lee know where the reader has a severe panic attack during isac? the rest would be up to you and of course if you dont feel comfortable doing this dont feel pressured to
There's always light at the end of the tunnel
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โž YouCan'tSeeItButIt'sThere!OT8 x 9thMember!Reader โž You don't have panic attacks. Jisung does but you donโ€™t. Right..? โž angst, comfort? โž wc. 2k Hiii omg I'm your first !!! I'm so sorry that it took me such a long time to answer, hope you're still around !!
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Are panic attacks something that you fear, or have? Not at all. You know what they are, you can try to understand how people feel when they are having one. But since you've never been the one to have it, you don't really understand, you don't...feel it.
Sometimes, you're a witness - it's not something that one would willingly witness for it can create some awkward thoughts and clumsy actions. A thing that people don't tell you, it's how you feel when you actually get to witness a panic attack. It's like you're having one too, especially when the person having it is close to you. You don't know what to do, what to say - should you hold his hands or let him breathe? would it be weird ask him if they're alright - spoiler alert, it is. But it's not something that is taught in school, something that people are aware of - like how you should or shouldn't behave in front of a wild animal. Yet it should.
But you were fine standing in the side lines. The only person who ever had a panic attack in front of you was Jisung. Don't get me wrong, he is your Sweet Cheeks - no one should ever tell him that this is his nickname in your phone, he would get cocky - you partner in crime and your bud. But by fearing how he saw you, you never quite acted during one of his moments. Maybe you were worried - you can be quite something at time. Maybe you were too much, as one of the kids was always here for him, even if you were there before - are you jealous ? A bit.
But it never crossed anyone's mind that this would happen to you. The never ever sleeping little chipmunk high on life. You can congratulate, you've been hiding quite some things under the bed. Things that made the monster sympathize with you. And you thought it was fine, you really thought that someone else needed the attention and the care. It never crossed your mind that there was enough love in the eight's heart for two little anxious chipmunks high on life. But for you're defense - not that anyone blames you - you hadn't seen it coming.
Everything was fine, and then it wasn't. People tend to say that you never get used to the feeling. The overwhelming need to breathe. The first time is always the worse. You don't know what's happening. You are scared, you feel alone, breathless, and you can't hear nor see what's going on around you. And then in a brief moment of clarity it crosses your mind.
Me?
Because you always thought that you were not sad enough for that. And it's the worse that happens. Discovering that you are in fact not alright. That you're dealing with shit bigger than yourself, heavier than what your body can handle. And you fall.
It has never happened before.
Why me?
Why can't I breathe?
Am I dying?
What's wrong with people?
Why are they looking at me?
What's wrong with me?
Someone..?
One moment you're playing with gravels on the ground, the other you're staring blankly at the same spot, eyes unmoving and hands slightly trembling.
Kim Seungmin knows you quite well. Stays know that Sungmin knows you quite well - when you joined the group, a few years later after Stray Kids' debut, it took just a month or two for your ship to be one of the most popular in Stray Kids. It would have been weird, knowing that people were expecting you of fantasizing about a non-existent relationship with one of the youngest. But like it was meant to be, just a month later he was the one to look you in the eyes and tell you what you needed to hear. He was your emotional support. The anchor to your sailing and swaying ship. So yeah, Kim Seungmin might be the one who knows you the best among Stray Kids. And he knows that your eyes usually do not look like one of a dead fish.
He does't move. He stares at the screen displaying the score of each groups competing in the ISAC. Stray Kids' not bad - they're serving, like they usually do. His arms sway awkwardly and he shift his weigh on his right leg. He then looks at you for a brief moment. You're not moving. That's weird, you don't usually stay on the same spot for more than a good twenty seconds.
"What's got your panties in a twist?"
Seungmin hopes that Stay aren't that good at playing detectives and lip reading, because Changbin proved once more that he doesn't give a single fuck about his idol image.
"I'm not mad? What makes you think that I'm mad?"
"Well..." Changbin stops in front of the taller boy, one eyebrow raising as he takes the famous 'pregnant woman pose'. "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you know?"
For a second - one that dumb Jisung and dumber Hyunjin wouldn't have caught - the singer takes a look at his girl. A brief second. But Seo Changbin do not need more than a second - he is Seo Changbin after all. And what he sees, or understand, do not seem to please him.
"What's up with her?"
He says that with a frown in his face, abandoning his ridiculous posture for one which is more menacing, which could show everyone that something's changed. But Seungmin carefully catches the hem of his vest before the rapper goes toward their ninth member.
If you ask Changbin what he doesn't like about being a K-pop idol, he'd probably say "Nothing" with a smirk on his face. Because Seo Changbin does what he wants and eats what he craves. But if there's one thing that he hates, it's when he can't help people who needs it - especially their female member - because of the repercussion it could have on his group. And he knows it. Seungmin knows it. He is reckless, and they don't need that right. Especially not right now.
A few days later, what happened between them made Stayville go crazy with some clichรฉ videos and compilation of the two men standing close to each other. The famous Seungbin compilations. Little did they know that nothing romantic was happening between them - not at that time anyway.
"Is she..." Changbin's eyes narrowed, looking thoroughly at the young woman as a raw terror and uneasiness flooded his body, "even breathing?"
It was a valid question. To those who were surrounding her and looking close and carefully enough, it was clear that her face was getting paler. Now, it really was worrying.
As if walking into a shop, Seungmin's feet led his straight toward his member, light heartedly and without any sense of urgency. But inside, he felt like bile was rising up his throat, the pure terror hidden behind curtains of hair a unusual and unfitting expression on his girl.
It only seemed normal to crouch next to her and to comfort her with his warm touch - she usually craves it.
If the way you tense up and get slightly away from him is a sign, you clearly don't need it right now, don't even want it. And you have never denied him affection. You always came to him whenever something bothered you - or he would tease the answer out of you, it depends. Why couldn't you bear the mere idea of him touching you right now, when you clearly needed him the most? Why were you refusing the only sense of normalcy in this raging sea of cold water and prickly wreck?
You vaguely discerned the hurt on his face, above the other millions of emotions swimming in his eyes.
"It's okay Seungmin, I got it."
It was a just whisper. Like a siren's voice coming from beneath the surface. What a great parallel, you would have praised yourself in other circumstances. Among all the chaos happenings in and outside your head, you vaguely understood that you were taking somewhere else. It was dark, silent. The light wasn't blinding you anymore, your eyes could rest, the storm was now only raging in your head.
"I can do it... Please."
There's a brief movement that you can't even register in your haze before you feel warm hands engulfing yours. The feeling isn't disturbing, like Seungmin's hand was. You welcome it with a tight grip.
"It's okay to cry, don't hold it."
You really wanted to voice your confusion. Why would you cry? You just felt like you were dying, why would cry help.
"You just have to let it all out. This happens when you bottle up your emotions for too long, then you feel like you can't cry in front of other, or scream, because this is not socially acceptable, so you just hold it in."
The accuracy of the fact was almost scaring. Your eyes, unfocused, tried to identify the silhouettes before you, a choked sob escaping your lips as your legs failed you and you tumbled, your back hitting the cold wall behind you as the silhouettes carefully helped you towards the ground. It was cold. It was nice.
"And when you hold it in, you feel like you can't breathe. Like the world is closing up on you. Everyone is staring, but no one is looking. They can hear you, your thoughts, they can see your deepest secrets, feel how you feel... It's disturbing, isn't it?"
You try to nod, the memory from just a moment ago burning behind your eyelids, the hurt on Seungmin's face. It's not that you don't trust him...
"You just don't want them to see you like this. Vulnerable, pitiful...weird."
Another choked sob escape you, a puff of air leaving your lips, and you feel slightly better as you inhale. Only once, but it's better than zero.
"You don't want them to know that you lied when they asked you if you were okay. You don't want to fail them."
While the words utter by this person seems terribly accurate, it helps soothing the raging storm, which now seems to have been replaced by a grey clouds pouring down on you.
"But you're not failing anyone. They want to help you."
A ray of sunshine.
"It's not wrong to feel those emotions, to experience those episodes."
Another one. It's warm on your skin.
"You're not dying, noting's wrong with you, we're just here and we'll stay as long as you need us. We're not leaving."
Your breathing is back to normal, if not a little shaky, and you feel the ground you're sat on. You never really thought about it. But "There's always light at the end of the tunnel", right?
Your light is warm and comforting, leaving a tingly sensation in your head after each words spoken with care.
"It'll happen again. From now on, you'll have those panic attacks again, at random moments, whenever you feel overwhelmed, whenever you feel." the other silhouette says, his hands hovering over your cheek, not daring touching you. "It's not unusual to refuse help and shy away from the person whose opinion about us is the most important. Seungmin will understand."
And your light has a form and a name, and right now, two rays are shining brightly on you.
You bury your head in Jisung's neck as he wraps an arm around you and let your cry fill the room, Minho's presence on the other side comforting even if not touching you in any way.
"It's gonna be alright, we'll get through it together. You and I."
Jisung's words are not just that: words. It's a promise. At the moment, it doesn't even cross your mind that he sees himself in you, that he feels like it is his duty to help you. The way you're curled up into his chest, tears washing down your face, sobs escaping your lips without interruption. You look like a child. Scared.
But it's alright, because even if you don't know how you'll live with this, you'll manage. Jisung did, and you ought to be just as strong as him. Even if it means hiding from everyone but Minsung. It'll get better overtime, right?
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leeknowsyou ยท 7 months ago
Note
Hi!! I saw your profile I just wanted to know if your request are open?? If they are could you do a jeongin fic fluff like puppy love? Like everything is new and special and the hyungs constantly tease them about it ๐Ÿ’•
new kind of feelings
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pairing. jeongin x gn!reader genre. fluff wordcount. 579 summary. the request above authorโ€™s note. my first post! reblogs are appreciated!! masterlist.
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Love was something that you hadnโ€™t felt before. I mean, of course you had felt love, but not this kind of adoration for another human being. Everytime your eyes landed on Jeonginโ€™s features, it felt like you were floating in the clouds.
Your relationship was fresh, only a few months old. Yet it still felt like it was years old.
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You had scheduled a movie night at the boysโ€™ dorms today. Surprisingly, you got along with the other members very well, even though you hadnโ€™t known them for a long time. Jeongin thought it was cute how well you guys got along.
Standing behind the door, you and Jeongin impatiently waited for the door to open. Finally, after a few painfully long seconds, you were met with a welcoming Felix.
โ€œWhat are you waiting for, come on inโ€ Felix greeted, while gesturing to step inside the dorm. The planks on the floor were creaky, and the walls were old and the paint was worn out, but still it was comforting in some sort of way. Yellow sparks of lights left and right, the warmness from the heater, the salty scent of popcorn. It all felt so comfortable.
Suddenly you were woken from you trance and you entered the living room. There was a blanket put above the couch, making some type of tent. The so called tent was surrounded by pillows and numerous bowls of snacks. Laughter was heard inside the tent.
Eventually you settled on the couch and now the hardest part of the evening started: picking the movie.
โ€œCan we not watch a horror movie, I donโ€™t really like themโ€ you anxiously announced. A series of annoyed groans were heard across the room.
โ€œThis one?โ€ Leeknow, who was browsing through the movies asked. โ€œNoโ€ replied Seungmin sternly. โ€œThis?โ€ said Leeknow in a frustrated tone, clearly wanting to just pick any movie. โ€œNopeโ€ Seungmin answered, while make the โ€˜nopeโ€™ longer than usual. A sigh left Leeknow as he placed the remote down and gave up.
The remote was later picked up by Changbin, who requested all kinds of cartoons. The next holder of the remote was Han, who then requested any kind of anime he saw.
โ€œThis is never going to endโ€ mumbled Bangchan under his breath. Jeongin took that as a clue and picked up the remote.
โ€œBabe, whatโ€™s you favourite movie?โ€he asked, while staring into your eyes. Gosh, the way his hair fell perfectly on his face, and his beautiful smile was so intoxicating.
โ€œEarth to Y/n? Helloo?โ€ Jeongin waved his hand in front of your eyes. You realised you were in your thoughts again and your cheeks gained a slight pink blush from embarrassment.
โ€œOh sorry, itโ€™s (your favourite movie)โ€ you giggled while clinging onto Jeonginโ€™s shoulder. The way he looked at you was a clear indicator that he was seriously in love.
โ€œYah, Jeongin is whippedโ€ Hyunjin giggled while noticing his gaze upon you. His eyes looked like they had galaxies in them, sparkling with hearts.
Jeonginโ€™s cheeks flushed from embarrassment, as it was now his turn to hide behind your neck.
โ€œHyung, donโ€™t tease meโ€ He muttered quietly, thinking that only you would hear it.
โ€œOur baby bread is really grown up already, pulling girlsโ€ Seungmin said while patting on Jeonginโ€™s back, showing his proudness. That resulted in him hiding even more, being too embarrassed to show his blushed state to others, which would lead into even more teasing.
โ€œHaha, heโ€™s blushing!โ€ Changbin laughed while pointing his finger at Jeongin.
The rest of the night resulted in more teasing. Eventually it resulted that only you watched the movie, while the others were growing a conversation.
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authorโ€™s note. i hope this was alright ๐Ÿ˜ญ please reblog if you enjoyed !!
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yoonvvs ยท 5 months ago
Text
deserve someone like you. ( 2017 )
yoonah starts to feel like she doesnโ€™t deserve a spot in stray kids - but hyunjin is quick to reassure her.
takes place in late 2017, during the survival show.
now playing > sweet | cigarettes after s*x
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hyunjin couldnโ€™t find yoonah anywhere. he searched all of her usual spots โ€” her and jisungโ€™s usual recording studio, the small dance room she hides in from time to time, chanโ€™s recording studio, and he even peered into mark from got7โ€™s studio to see if the girl was talking to him, but to no avail.
as he walked around the walls of the company, he was starting to get worried. he noticed that yoonah wasnโ€™t acting like the positive and energetic girl she usually was recently - for the past few days, she just had this disconcerting feel around her, in her manners and in her looks. her eye bags were becoming more prominent, much like the other boys, her hair was starting to thin out, and she was getting tired at practice a lot quicker than normal. he knew that all of them were stressed out - but he missed the girlโ€™s sparkle, he missed her smile and her jokes. everyone did - and hyunjin couldnโ€™t stand going another day without yoonah being down. she was able to make the energy positive in her own way, and she just had this charm to her - that would make you instantly feel better, feel like everything will eventually work out.
but he knew, that even sunshine needed rest. the energetic girl who helped people smile, also needed someone to give her a reason to smile. and hyunjin knew, that everyone wasnโ€™t really giving her a reason to smile.
the company were being so harsh on her - giving her criticism left and right, to the point where chan was seething in anger watching them bully the young girl. the media was harassing the girl as well, disliking that she was even being considered to be a stray kid. and even if they wanted a girl - they kept saying they wished JYP chose someone prettier.
but hyunjin couldnโ€™t see how the media completely disregarded yoonahโ€™s beauty, because to him, she was the prettiest girl he knew. he loved her smile, the way her eyes crinkled when she watched the members antics, her nose scrunch when she laughed, and her whines when she was hungry - she would always beg him or chan to get her a snackโ€ฆbut then she ended up never eating it.
hyunjin thought he knew yoonah pretty well, but other times he felt like he didnโ€™t understand her at all.
he was about to give up on searching for her, but his ears perked up when he heard the backtrack of one of their songs for their survival show, YAYAYA. and he knew, it had to be yoonah behind that door, so, without thinking, he slid into the practice room, sighing when he saw yoonah dancing in the middle of the room, visibly tired. he could see her muscles tremor everytime she moved, and he knew the girl was one minute away from collapsing.
he stopped the music without even thinking, and couldnโ€™t help himself from chuckling when yoonah let out a small scream and jump.
โ€œwhy are you here so late?โ€ yoonah asked, taking her sinking ponytail out and flipping her head to put her hair up again.
โ€œi should be asking you why you are here still. practice ended hours ago.โ€ hyunjin pointed out, smirking when yoonah only rolled her eyes and tried to turn the music back on, letting out a small sigh when hyunjin only blocked her. โ€œyou need to take a break. whenโ€™s the last time you had water? something to eat?โ€
the silence was the answer hyunjin needed, yoonah just stood there, her eyes blank and tired - no spark inside them. hyunjin frowned, taking the girls hand in his own, and dragged her back towards the couch.
โ€œyouโ€™re going to drink water and eat something,โ€ hyunjin said, holding up a finger when yoonah attempted to protest, โ€œyou need to rest, yoonah. water and food isnโ€™t going to kill you.โ€
โ€œiโ€™ll take the water, but im on a diet.โ€ yoonah said, sighing when hyunjin narrowed his eyes. โ€œiโ€™ve already ate, im fine.โ€ yoonah said - which wasnโ€™t a lie. she had ate dinner after practice ended - but the food didnโ€™t necessarily stick with her.
hyunjin looked over at her like didnโ€™t believe her, but dropped the issue for now. he figured he would take the small wins first, not wanting to have yoonah shut down immediately. he dug in his bag, pulling out his own water bottle and handing it to her, smiling softly when she took and drank it, watching the color slowly return to her face.
โ€œthanks.โ€ yoonah muttered, returning the bottle and leaning back against the couch, bringing her legs to her chest. โ€œwere you looking for me?โ€
โ€œi was worried about you.โ€ hyunjin said, scooting closer to the girl. he couldnโ€™t quite read her, she looked like she was confused, yet relieved at the same time that he was next to her. he couldnโ€™t work out her emotions at the moment, so he kept talking, hoping to get her to open up. โ€œi know everyday is hard, itโ€™s hard for everyone - but i couldnโ€™t imagine the pressure you have right now.โ€
yoonah nodded, pursing her lips as she thought. she was under a lot of pressure - as everyone else was, but she couldnโ€™t help but feel isolated from the nine other boys. she knew none of them thought of her any different because she was a girl, but knew that none of them could relate to most of her struggles. it was hard being on the team as the only girl - and she couldnโ€™t help but find herself in rabbit hole of questioning why she was the one, out of all of the girl trainees, got chosen to join this team. to experiment this combination. she couldnโ€™t help but feel as if she wasnโ€™t good enough - there was so many other trainees that could have replaced her, who were prettier, who had strong vocals, stronger dance skills - but it was her that was on the survival show.
she couldnโ€™t help but feel like chan made the wrong choice in picking her. she felt like everytime she was made a mistake - she was letting him down. he had so much faith in her, and she felt sick to her stomach thinking that she wasnโ€™t what chan thought she was.
as the silence filled the room, yoonah couldnโ€™t help but to feel herself start to crumble under all of the heavy burdens placed on her heart - she was holding strong for so long, but the combination of sleep deprivation, muscle aches, and anxiety, she knew she couldnโ€™t hold it all in together.
โ€œhyunieโ€ฆโ€ yoonah started, sighing when she could feel her lip start to quiver, her warning sign that tears were about to fall. hyunjin was quick to react, sitting up and scooting closer to the girl, looking at the girlโ€™s face in such deep concern, it made yoonah regret all of her doubts on if she belonged in the group. regardless, she still knew she needed to ask, โ€œdo you think i deserve a spot in this group? and be honest, donโ€™t sugar coat anything.โ€
hyunjin frowned, cupping the girlโ€™s face in his hands, brushing stray hairs from her face. yoonah could immediately feel butterflies swarm in her stomach, heat starting to rise in her cheeks. she could swear she could hear her heart pounding as hyunjin held her face in his hands - she felt so protected in his hands.
โ€œof course i think you deserve a spot in this group.โ€ hyunjin responded, tears escaping his eyes and he looked at yoonah, the thought that yoonah was putting herself down all alone had hurt hyunjin to no end, he felt so guilty that he didnโ€™t help her, help her realize how important and essential she was to the group, he wished it never got to the point where she felt so isolated.
โ€œyou have such amazing talent, yoonah. you can do everything - youโ€™re singing, rapping, dancing, itโ€™s amazing. all the songs you create, their beautiful. theyโ€™re art, everything you create and do is so creative and inspiring, watching you dance and be in your elementโ€ฆitโ€™s breathtaking, yoonah.โ€ hyunjin says, sighing when yoonah started crying, hot tears running down her cheeks, pooling at hyunjinโ€™s thumbs. โ€œi know theyโ€™re harsh on you, but you need to keep going. theyโ€™re going to regret being so critical when they see what you are really made of. you can survive this, yoonah. you canโ€™t give up. you canโ€™t let them tell you where you can and canโ€™t grow, you canโ€™t let them limit you. never let go of that passion you have, yoonah, because i know, youโ€™ll continue to make great things.โ€
hyunjin wrapped the girl in his arms, letting the girl cry into his chest. โ€œyou are such a light to this team, yoonah. we all love you so much - i couldnโ€™t imagine being in this team without you. i donโ€™t think any of us could go on without you.โ€
and thatโ€™s all yoonah needed - she couldnโ€™t imagine leaving all of the members, but did they need her as much as she did? as she listened to hyunjin, she could feel her insecurities fade, she knew hyunjin was being genuine. his worried face, how delicate he was being, and the pain in his voice as he spokeโ€ฆyoonah had never felt so appreciated before. she thought no one thought much about her creations, she didnโ€™t expect them to.
yoonah slowly rose up from hyunjinโ€™s warm chest, frowning when the smell of roses from his cologne faded, she swore she could have started crying again from seeing the tears on hyunjinโ€™s face, his face red and puffy. as she stared at hyunjin in their silence, she realized how much hyunjin really meant to her - how strong her feelings for him really were.
hyunjin was different. she loved all of her membersโ€ฆbut hyunjin always lit a spark in yoonah that she never knew he had. she loved to admire him, watch how he moved, his mannerism, watch how he smiled at her even when he was tired, how he always opened doors for her, always made sure she was comfortable, and he always knew the right things to say. everything about himโ€ฆ.yoonah loved.
she cherished all of their late nights they had together - they were all platonic, they were either goofing off in the dance practice room, laying on the ground together and just talking, or sneaking out to get snacks, laughing at anything and everything due to their tiredness. but when it was just them, yoonah always felt a little more, like something else was there. she kept catching herself wanting to get closer to hyunjin, to feel his hand against her ownโ€ฆ.she wondered how his lips felt, how they tasted. everytime he hugged herโ€ฆshe wished he would never let go. she wished that hyunjin and yoonah would never have to leave their private hangouts, she wished that she could just stand there, feeling the moment forever.
yoonah could see that there was something else on hyunjinโ€™s face, too. he looked memorized, she could see him looking all around her face, analyzing every inch of her, like he would never get to see her again. he looked so innocent, so sweet, like he could never break a thing. she loved how his hair was slightly messed up, how comfortable he looked in his black sweatshirt - he looked cozy. safe. he looked like what yoonah would call home.
โ€œi canโ€™t do this anymore.โ€ hyunjin finally said, breaking the silence. disrupting the haze yoonah was in. before yoonah could ask hyunjin what he meant, he was grabbing her waist, pulling her in closer. he cupped his hands on her cheeks again, and his face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath. it was warm.
โ€œis this okay?โ€ hyunjin asked, searching yoonahโ€™s eyes for any uncertainty, any discomfort. yoonah could only nod, she couldnโ€™t think - this is what she wanted. her heart was pounding, she could hear the blood rushing in her ears as she started at the boyโ€™s lips, impatiently leaning forward and gently placing her lips against his, humming when she could feel them interlock.
it felt perfect - like their lips were the last two pieces to go together for the puzzle, mysterious yet satisfying. it was right, yoonah didnโ€™t doubt a thing as hyunjin kissed her, she could feel the boy trail his hands down her body, sending shivers through her spine. one hand landed on her waist, while another snuck up her back, his warm hand sending excitement through her.
hyunjinโ€™s lips were soft, they were delicate, he kissed her with such gentle passion, like if he was too rough, the whole moment would disappear. she never wanted to let him go, to take her lips away from him, she wanted to study his lips and his kisses forever.
she whined when she could feel the boy start to pull away, her hands jumping to cradle his head. hyunjin only laughed, giving her one last firm kiss, before removing his lips from her. his hands made their way back to her face, holding her cheeks one last time before he stood up.
โ€œyou need to go to sleep, miss.โ€ hyunjin spoke, offering a hand towards the girl. yoonah frowned - that was it? that was all that would happen? he kissed herโ€ฆ.yet he doesnโ€™t want to stay and talk?
hyunjin could tell that yoonah was starting to escalate things in her head - he saw the way she anxiously bit her lip, her brows furrowing in what seemed like regret.
โ€œiโ€™m happy that we kissed, yoon. i loved it. but itโ€™s two am, and we have practice tomorrow.โ€ hyunjin said, smiling when yoonah widened her eyes. she instantly got up, grabbing her bag and nervously grabbing onto hyunjinโ€™s hand.
โ€œis it okay if i could your hand?โ€ yoonah asked, smiling when the boy nodded. she never felt this way towards anyone in her life - all of the boys and the girls from her school were too boring, they were uninterested in anything yoonah loved, and were too busy with their other friends to really think to listen. hyunjin listened, though. he always listened. he stayed, he talked to her without judging.
he made her feel so lovesick, her brain was all fuzzy, and all she could think about was how his lips felt against hers. how just a minute ago, his hand was resting on her back, sending sparks throughout her body. she couldnโ€™t help but giggle when she looked up at him, admiring his features and his demeanor. everything about him felt unreal, he was perfect in her eyes.
hyunjin only smiled and looked infront of him, too shy to really say anything. their kissโ€ฆit was perfect to him. but now what? he really didnโ€™t know. he liked yoonah, he liked her ever since she joined the company, but would it be too dangerous? too risky? love was already a messy game, could they really afford adding it to their plates? hyunjin knew that all of the hardships would be worth it to kiss yoonah again, but the thoughts of all of the what ifs still scared him.
the pair eventually made it back to to the dorms, and hyunjin walked the girl back to her bedroom, giving her a warm hug before she left him.
โ€œthank you, for tonight. youโ€™re words mean a lot to me.โ€ yoonah said, smiling softly when hyunjin nodded. โ€œandโ€ฆthank youโ€ฆ for, you know.โ€ yoonah whispered, giggling when she could see a faint of pink on hyunjinโ€™s ears.
โ€œof course, yoonie.โ€ hyunjin whispered back softly, leaning down to place one more kiss on her lips. โ€œsleep tight.โ€
and with that, hyunjin left her, leaving her lovestruck and alone in her bedroom, too much excitement in her to allow herself to calm down.
when she went to sleep, all of her dreams consisted of was of hyunjin, and she just hoped, that one day she would get a chance for him to be hers again, just like he was tonight. it was so sweet, to finally piece together her feels and hyunjinโ€™s feelings together. he was so sweet. she could only hope the sweetness would never fade.
thank you for reading! please consider leaving a heart & reblog, i love to see and read feedback!!!!!
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lixie-phoria ยท 11 months ago
Text
summer sun forever (stray kids comforting their 9th member!reader)
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pairing : platonic stray kids x fem!9th member reader
requested : yes
warnings - mentions of blood, description of poor parenting (lmk if i've missed any!)
genre - angst to comfort
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jeongin thought it was normal, the way you would sit alone during group discussions giving your input only when asked directly.
seungmin though it was a habit, the way you would immediately pinch yourself if you made a mistake.
felix thought it was out of good nature that you would constantly appreciate his sunshine-like personality and inability to be mad for longer than a few moments.
han thought it was adorable, the way you would cover your smile while laughing at one of his jokes, trying to hold back any laugh that was louder than a giggle.
hyunjin thought it was just your strive for perfection that you would spend hours more than the other boys trying to perfect your choreographies, scared to mess up.
changbin thought it was a personal preference, the way you'd always dress up in lose clothing, rejecting anything that was too fitting.
lee know thought it was impressive, the way you could recognize any member just from his footsteps approaching your room or the way you always left one ear uncovered when using headphones.
but chan knew. or he thought he did, at least. maybe it was brotherly instincts kicking in, but he knew these habits weren't healthy. far from it. it concerned him, but he didn't know how to approach you either.
his concerns were triggered for the first time when you dropped a glass at the dorms, sharp shards scattering everywhere. you didn't notice him rush to help you as he stopped dead in the doorway of the kitchen, watching you pick up the broken pieces with bare hands. he saw the way your hands were trembling and how a particularly tricky piece sliced right through your skin, blood oozing out. you didn't even flinch, sparing the cut a small glance before you went back to cleaning the floor. you didn't bother trying to disinfect it, opting to only run it under the tap and wiping it away with a few tissues. then you crumpled them up, making sure the members wouldn't notice the red on the paper and went about your day as usual. chan waited, patiently, expecting you to bring up the injury to anyone, but you didn't, so he thought maybe it was just a small cut. maybe it was just a small wound, after all.
you would tell them if you were really hurt, right?
the second time chan notices something wrong is when you hit your upper arm at the edge of the table during dinner. it had hurt, that much he knew from the way you yelped and rubbed the sore spot. he had laughed at your clumsiness with the others as you smiled sheepishly, ducking your head and running away to your room to do who knows what. he thought he saw tears in your eyes, but you didn't mention the bruise again, so they all thought you were okay.
but chan's breaking point was when stays themselves noticed something was wrong. he was scrolling through instagram when a particular reel caught his attention. it was of their dance performance, and the fan had zoomed into your figure - specifically your upper arm - and the large reddish blue spot was so strikingly evident it took him three rewatches to make sure it was not an edit. how had any of them missed it? then another reel came up, and it was you wincing slightly as lee know jokingly shook your hand, the same one you had cut while cleaning the glass. and it's like the pieces immediately fall into place.
chan doesn't think twice. before he knows it he's out of his room and walking (more like storming) towards yours, and he doesn't bother knocking. but even then, you had been expecting him, because you're staring at the door with a small smile on your face.
"i heard you coming. is everything ok?"
it's the first time your keen observation skills concern him, but he doesn't answer, instead striding towards you and lifting your arm despite your complaints. when his eyes zero-in on the bruise that you had expertly been concealing, he sees red. he isn't sure why he's angry. it's not your fault. but he is mad, and he couldn't control it.
of course you could see it on his face, and it's like you go into auto pilot mode, snatching your arm back and immediately apologizing, making excuses that fly straight out of his ears. he tries to hold back, he really does, but he can't. and before he can stop, the damage is done.
"don't bother. you clearly don't trust us enough anymore."
in hindsight, that was probably the worst thing chan could have said to you. blaming you would only worsen things, but he's so confused and disappointed in himself. he didn't know what kept you on the edge so often, and it hurt him that you wouldn't open up.
and thus the apparent cold war began.
you weren't mad. no. far from that. you were terrified. you had disappointed chan, the one person who made you feel safe always. the one person you knew you could go to with anything. but you chose not to, and now maybe you never will be able to. and it was like you were a teenager again, crying yourself to sleep every night, cautious of every word you spoke, and jumping at the slightest raised voice.
chan wasn't mad either. he was confused. he was hurt, a little bit. and he regretted the words he had carelessly spat out. it clearly hadn't been the right approach and now it hurt him to see the way you would tense whenever he stepped into the room, not making eye-contact and apologizing profusely to everybody for the smallest mistakes.
he thought giving you space was the best option for now. but in hindsight, that was a terrible decision too. he didn't realize how angry he was coming off as. he didn't know that not just you but all the members thought he was giving you the silent treatment. and for you, that hit too close to home. literally.
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"ynnie, do you want some more soup?"
felix is met with a timid yes as he happily pours you another serving. but even his bubbly smile couldn't diffuse the obvious tension in the atmosphere. the other 7 didn't know the details of what had happened. chan knew you would want to tell them yourself if you told them at all, but they knew it was bad. because now you barely smiled and chan always seemed tense.
"and salt?"
again, you only nod, reaching towards the jar he was offering, when it happens. all of a sudden. jeongin's arm brushes yours, and as his elbow pushes into your bruise, you yelp, the lid falling to the floor with a loud shattering sound.
the silence that follows immediately after is loud, and everyone notices the way you go completely still. unnaturally still, as though waiting for someone to yell at you. lee know recovers first, and as he bends down to pick up the fallen object, you flinch, and their hearts collectively shatter.
what was the matter with you lately?
before they know it, you're gulping the steaming hot soup down, hurriedly apologizing and making a bee line for your room. but this time, everyone can see the tears brimming your waterline.
nobody gets up, but nobody eats anymore either. the silence only intensifies until chan groans, burring his face in his hands.
"hey lix, you mind checking up on her? i don't think she's doing very well."
the blonde boy doesn't need to be told twice. he's making his way towards your room and when he enters, the floor slides from beneath him. you're curled up in your bed, trying to muffle your sobs that wrack through your body.
when you see him come in, your first instinct is to hide. to not show. but it's too late, because he's rushing towards you, embracing you in the warmest hug. its comforting, in a way you have never felt before, and that only spirals your break down further.
felix doesn't know what to do or say. he doesn't know what happened. he doesn't know what could make you feel better, but it's so incredibly heart breaking the way you curl up into yourself as though trying to reject any help that it brings tears into his own eyes.
it isn't long before the others come following, and when chan sees you it's like a part of him dies. you look so small, so hurt, so breakable. and deep down, he knows this could have been avoided if he'd thought twice before lashing out at you.
"yn."
his voice is soft, and when you notice him you're scrambling out of felix's grasp, and he almost thinks you're trying to get way from him. but then you're throwing yourself into his arms with apologies tumbling out along with your sobs. he tries to calm you down, running a hand through your hair, but you're inconsolable. they have never seen you cry like this before.
"calm down, angel. please. talk to me."
it's the first time chan has spoken to you in more than a week, and you hadn't realized how much you had missed it. how much his silence had been affecting you.
"please don't be mad at me." you whimper as chan guides you sit on your bed, the other 7 hovering around unsure of what to do but concern reflecting in each of their eyes.
"mad? i'm not mad, ynnie. i'm concerned."
his words come as a shock.
he's concerned?
"but i'm crying."
"that's exactly why i'm concerned."
"oh."
you've never heard these words before. you never thought you would. growing up, showing emotions was a big no. crying was almost a taboo. showing emotions was for the weak, as your parents would say. they didn't wish to raise a weak daughter. nobody ever showed you concern. it was either anger or silence.
you've run out of tears, but dry sobs still shake your body every few seconds as chan holds you closer, motioning for the rest to sit down.
"do you want to talk about it?"
you shake your head. no. you were bad at talking about your feelings. they didn't have to know. it's not that important.
"you have to open up at some point, yn."
"i don't want to burden you guys."
"burden us?"
even seungmin, who usually stays expressionless during conflicts, seems appalled.
"yn, your emotions are not a burden."
"that's not what mum used to say."
you didn't mean to say it out loud, but it slips from your mouth and they all seem to have heard it.
chan's grip on you tightens. none of them knew much about your family. you didn't like talking about it. now it was slowly coming to them exactly why this preference could be.
"you can trust us, you know? we want to be there for you."
"i do trust you."
"then why won't you tell us what's wrong."
"don't want to annoy you any further."
the guilt gnaws at chan as felix pulls you away from his grasp, snuggling you into his side.
"yn, i wasn't mad. i was trying to give you space."
"i thought you were ignoring me." and in a smaller voice you reluctantly add "like my parents used to. everytime they were mad."
even han is somewhat misty eyed as felix runs calming circles against your upper arm.
"we would never give you the silent treatment."
"yeah! we love you way too much for that."
"is that why you're so closed off?"
"changbin! you can't just ask her that."
you giggle tiredly, earning a small smile from chan.
"it's alright. i'm glad you asked binnie. i think i'm ready to tell you guys."
they're all attentively waiting, and you shift uncomfortably. you never thought you would have this conversation.
"growing up, my parents didn't encourage me to express myself very much. i wasn't allowed to make mistakes, and if i did, they would give me the silent treatment for days on end. i hated it."
your voice is so small and fragile it breaks their hearts a little more.
"i've gone weeks trying to get my mother to speak to me normally. to act like she cared. but she'd always be so cold, insistent on punishing me for every little thing."
"and-" your voice broke, making hyunjin join felix in smothering you with cuddles.
"take your time, yn."
you hum, closing your eyes to stop the fresh wave of tears.
"and when chan stopped talking to me, i felt terrible. i thought i disappointed him too."
there was no more place, but chan joins the tangle of you, felix, and hyunjin as well, rubbing a soothing hand on your back.
"i'm so sorry i made you feel that way ynnie. i had no idea."
"it's not your fault," you admit, leaning into his chest.
"are we good now?"
"i hope so."
chan lets out that breathy laugh of his which you've grown to love over the years.
"don't ever hide your feelings from us, ynnie. you're a part of us. we don't want to see you hurting."
felix bops your nose as you smile, and it's all so corny and sweet, but it's also exactly what you need.
"now can we please have a movie night?"
"yah! jeongin. give her some time."
"no no, i'd actually love that. please?"
they're all ready to do whatever you want. it warms your heart and you almost cry again. nobody ever did this for you. you learned to think you didn't deserve it.
but here these 8 boys were, scrambling around trying to a build you a pillow fort and searching the shelves for snacks, yelling at each other across the house.
and as you're sitting there, you think that this could be your favorite site. they could be your favorite people. this could be your favorite memory. this feeling of being at home could be your favorite forever.
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ยฉlixie-phoria, 2023 taglist : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)
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skzstannie ยท 11 months ago
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"Did you know?"
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member! reader
genre: angst, hurt/comfort wc: ~4,500 cw: slight violence, swearing, reader has to go to the hospital
summary: some online rumors cause turmoil within the group, and it seems the membersโ€™ concerns were certainly not without reason
A/N: Here's another angsty 9th member fic for you guys, hope you enjoy! My requests are still open, so if you have any ideas, feel free to send them in!
Likes/reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!
Part 2 | Happy Scrolling! | Masterlist
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Today was the first date of your North American tour, landing you guys in the beautiful city of Los Angeles, California. Your managers allowed you the morning to explore the city, given you had constant security. They made you specifically promise to abide by these rules, as you had a habit of sneaking off to see fans on your own. What can you say? Security could be annoying, and your fans were always the sweetest.
This little habit of yours not only made management anxious, but also your members. They knew you could be innocent and credulous when it came to other people, always wanting to believe there was good in everyone. While this may be true, people's best intentions sometimes went out the window when confronted with their favorite Kpop idols.
"Ok, first the art museum for Hyunjin, then Griffith Park, and then the nice breakfast cafe down the street from the venue. Anything else?" Chan reads off your planned itinerary, glancing upwards at you guys.
"Yea, I said I wanted to go to the Santa Monica Pier. They have the cutest attractions there," you say, repeating yourself for what felt like the hundredth time that day. You were the only one wanting to go, all the other members not wanting to risk getting sick on fair food and carnival rides before the concert.
"Yes, and I already acknowledged the fact that we will not be going there today. And we, includes you, meaning you will also not be sneaking off to go by yourself," Chan pointedly looks to you, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
"What makes you think I'd ever do that?" you give him a cheeky smile, tilting your head ever so slightly.
"Don't look at me like that. You know exactly why I'd think that."
You drop your innocent act, giving him a bored look in return.
Chan gets notified that the vans have arrived, so you all pack up your things and head to the hotel elevator. The boys roughhouse in the hallway, Seungmin almost tackling Jeongin to the ground. This is quickly stopped by Minho, reminding them they can't get hurt before the concert tonight. They roll their eyes at him but oblige.
Leaving the hotel, you all jump in the cars, embarking on the short drive to the art museum. Your van consists of Seungmin and Felix sitting in the middle set of seats, while you're squished in the back between Chan and Minho. The air is weirdly tense and quiet, everyone seemingly too occupied with their phones. Besides Chan describing the itinerary this morning, everyone has been quiet all day.
You feel Chan's watchful gaze slide to your screen, and you pull away, leaning towards Minho. "Do you mind?" you sass.
"I do actually. What are you looking at on there, any cute boys?"
"Give me a break, we have a dating ban," you scoff, turning your phone back off and sliding it into your crossbody bag.
You continue to sit in silence until you arrive, not wanting to deal with Chan's wandering eyes on your Instagram feed.
Finally arriving at the art museum, everyone piles out of the vans. Fans line the sidewalk, and a grin spreads across your face. You step out of line quickly, wanting to go over to a particularly young fan. She looks around 8 or 9, and she has a poster of you in hand with a black Sharpie. What's the harm in giving this young girl a quick signature?
Within your first few steps, your arm is aggressively pulled backwards, and you stumble into Minho. He gives you a stern look, and you know, especially with this many people around, not to question him. You fall back in line, looking back to give the young girl a sympathetic smile as you're guided the rest of the way into the museum.
You guys walk through the entrance of the museum, officially out of sight from all the fans. Minho gives you another pointed look, finally releasing your arm from his grasp. "We told you, no funny business today. Tonight's important, and we need you in one piece for it."
Your eyes widen at his tone of voice, not appreciating the seriousness behind it. You know you tend to break some rules here and there, but it's always light-hearted. You'd never intentionally put yourself or anyone else in danger.
You guys explore the museum exhibits in peace, security doing an excellent job of keeping the fans outside. You, not having much of an interest in art, spend most of your time watching Hyunjin and the way he admires the artwork. He really is an artist at heart, and you love the way he can appreciate each individual piece.
While staring at Hyunjin, who's admiring an intensely beautiful painting of a riverbed with flowers, you suddenly feel eyes on you. You quickly spin around to be met with the stares of Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin. They quickly look away, busying themselves looking at the statues next to them.
You give them a squinted look, walking over to them. "What is wrong with you guys today? Why is everyone acting so funny?" you confront them, furrowing your brows.
Jisung stumbles over his words, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Felix jumps in, giving Jisung a strange look, "We were just talking about how beautiful you look today." He comes over to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
You don't stay there long, removing his arm from around you and walking away. "Weird," you mutter to yourself.
You guys finish up in the museum shortly after. Piling back into the cars, you're once again stuck between Minho and Chan. This time, however, Chan keeps constant conversation with you. He rambles on about the concert that night, what he had for dinner last night, practically anything to keep his mouth moving. While this is still strange behavior, you prefer this to radio silence.
Arriving at Griffith Park, you guys make your way up the hill terrain. All the guys want to take pictures, planning to post them to Instagram later that week. You think the perfect spot for pictures would be the Hollywood sign, so you start to make your way towards it.
You don't think to alert anyone, as it's within eyesight, and you prefer to take your own pictures, anyway. You came prepared, bringing your tripod in your backpack.
Before you make it very far, only walking about 25 feet away from the group, you hear your name being yelled. You turn back around, seeing an angry Minho storming towards you.
"What'd we say about going off on your own? Why are you being so difficult today?" he asks, his voice rising with every word he spits at you.
You don't know what's gotten everyone's panties in a bunch today, but you've just about had enough. The atmosphere has been tense all day, and you're officially sick of it.
"Why is everyone being so tense today? Gosh, I'm only going up to the sign!" You throw your arm behind, motioning to the spot only about 50 feet away from where you and Minho stand.
"No, you will not be going up there, especially not by yourself. Stay with the rest of the group and stop being stubborn!" Minho's overly-critical eyes stare you down. He steps toward you, grabbing you by the elbow for the second time that day.
You wretch yourself away from him. "I've had enough with being man-handled today. I'm done! I'm going to wait in the van. Have fun without me!" you yell at him, stalking off towards the parking lot.
You see everyone had stopped what they were doing upon hearing the loud yells, and they're all watching you as you hurriedly make your way back to the vans. Your face flushes, embarrassment taking over your features.
You pull on the door to the van, realizing it's locked. You stomp your foot and whip around, finding everyone still staring at you with varying expressions. "Someone please unlock this door before I have a mental breakdown," you beg, feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack taking over your body.
The driver, just feet away sitting on a bench, searches for the keys in his jacket, finally unlocking the door for you. You climb in, slamming the door behind you.
You stumble over the front row of seats, laying down in the back away from the concerned gazes of your members and the rest of the staff. Your chest feels constricted, the air in your lungs feeling limited in supply. Tears stream down your face at the unwanted advances of an anxiety attack.
The fight with Minho paired with the building tension all day, along with the nerves for tonight's concert mixed into a deadly concoction in your brain, all too much for you to handle.
You're not left alone with your thoughts for long, the door to the van opening only minutes later. Hyunjin crawls in, shutting the door behind him.
"Hey, hey, shhh. It's ok, everything will be ok," he coos, rubbing your back. He's squeezed himself down in between the middle row of seats, his elbows resting on the armrests beside him.
"I'm sick of today," tears slide down you cheeks, your voice audibly shaking. "Everyone is being so distant and mean. What'd I do?"
"No honey, you didn't do anything. Everyone's just a little stressed for tonight. There's been some stuff circulating around online putting everyone on edge, but it'll all be fine," he reassures you, trying to roll you onto your other side so he can see your face. Your mind is too pre-occupied to register his words, letting them travel in one ear and out the other.
You allow him to turn you around, uncomfortably shifting in the small space. Your glossy eyes meet his, and he's quick to wrap you up into a tight hug, your own arms squished against his chest.
"Everyone's finishing up out there, then we're going to head to the venue a little earlier than planned. Does that sound ok?" he asks, affectionately running his fingers through your hair.
"Yea," you sniffle, pressing your face firmly into his shoulder. "I don't want to sit by Minho. Please don't make me," you cry harder at the thought.
"Alright, alright, shhh. You're only working yourself up more. You know we have to stay in our assigned vehicles, but I'm sure Seungmin and Felix will switch spots with him and Chan."
After a few more minutes of consoling from Hyunjin, everyone else has finished their photoshoots. Hyunjin leaves, but not before giving you another firm squeeze. Seungmin and Felix pile into the van first, both of them coming to sit beside you. You telepathically thank Hyunjin for asking them in passing.
Felix rests a comforting hand on your knee throughout the ride to the venue. Chan and Minho are silent, completely engrossed in their phones once again.
Once at the venue, you stay far from Minho, not wanting to deal with his negativity. You notice the security is amped up a bit compared to last tour, guards standing at every door leading to your dressing rooms. You figure it's because your band has gotten so much bigger, the Stay Family always growing exponentially.
In your dressing room, Felix occupies the chair by the mirror, your stylists brushing shades of brown and pink across his eyelids. Changbin stands nearby, the hair stylist just finishing up with a couple extra spurts of hairspray. You lay on the couch while you wait, playing Among Us with Jeongin and Hyunjin who reside in the other dressing room.
Changbin and Felix offered to go with you to your dressing room, and you gladly accepted their offer. You explained to them you didn't necessarily want to be alone; you just didn't want to be by Minho.
The stylists start to work on you once they're done with the boys. They finish your hair and makeup just in time for soundcheck, applying some last minute powder to your nose before sending you off to the stage.
Rehearsals go by smoothly. You and Minho are able to put your issues behind you for now. Your fans are so important to you, and the last thing you want to do is ruin their night because of some petty argument.
Management sends you off to the dressing rooms once again, satisfied with the quality of the soundcheck. You follow your members off stage before departing down a separate hallway in search of the bathroom.
You walk for another few seconds, taking a few random turns before your met with the door to the ladies' restroom. You do your business and take your time getting back to the dressing room as you guys don't go on for another hour. The venue your playing is beautiful, so you take a slight detour, admiring all the nice architecture.
You're startled from your peaceful thoughts once again by a furious Minho. "I cannot believe you'd go off on your own again. After all we've told you today, how could you possibly think that's ok?" he throws his hands up in disbelief, his tone snarky.
"I had to use the restroom! You guys have never had a problem with me walking around the venues by myself, why now? You have been up my ass all day. Leave me the hell alone for awhile." You push him out of the way, ramming his shoulder with your own in the tight hallway.
"Do you think this is fun for me, huh? Yelling at you all day long? Did you ever stop to think for one second that there may be something bigger going on here?" His voice sounds exhausted, leaving you slightly concerned because you still have hours of performing to do. However, your anger gets the best of you, and your concern gets pushed deep below the surface.
"Well, I'm sorry that I can't read your damn mind. If there's something bigger going on, then why hasn't anyone told me? I'm a big girl, not some toddler. I am a part of this group the same as everyone else, so why are things being kept from me?"
Minho starts to speak, but you immediately cut him off, not wanting to hear the lame excuses you're sure he's come up with. "You know what, I don't even wanna hear it. My mental health has went to shit today because of you, and if I wanna be able to perform in 30 minutes, I need to be away from you. We can talk about this later," you finish, rushing off to your dressing room, leaving Minho standing alone in the hallway.
Everyone seems to have deemed your dressing room the hangout spot until the concert officially begins, as all the other boys have gathered around, making themselves comfortable amongst the laid out furniture in the room.
You all make conversation, laughing at Changbin's cringey jokes; you're happy for the distraction, allowing your mind to wander from the fight you had with Minho.
10 minutes before you go on, management comes to fetch you to get ready, providing you all with in-ears and microphones.
Your pre-performance jitters have made themselves known, but you've been doing this long enough that you can turn that nervous energy into excitement.
5 minutes before you go on, you and the boys gather in a circle. Chan leads, knowing exactly how to get everyone hype before going on.
You're all standing now just outside of view from the fans on the side of the stage, waiting for your cue from management. Once they give it, you all make your way out onto the stage, relishing in the sounds of the screaming Stay that form the crowd.
All is going smoothly as you finish your center part during the bridge of Lalala, and you make your way to the side of the stage, waiting for the part in the song where you re-enter the choreo. With all your attenton focused on the performance, you fail to notice the commotion coming from the crowd just a few feet from you.
Your attention is pulled away from the performance when you're tackled from behind. You scream in agony and fear, having landed painfully on your wrist. If the snap you felt is anything to go by, it's definitely broken. However, this isn't your main concern at the moment. You open your eyes, and theyโ€™re immediately drawn to the shiny pocket knife the man has in his hand. He's quick to slash a small cut into your forearm before he is aggressively pushed off of you. Your attacker is taken down by security; they immediately throw a pair of handcuffs on him, taking him off stage.
The crowd has broke out into panicked cries, all of Stay wondering what happened and if you're ok.
Your members are quick to rush over to you, abandoning the remainder of the Lalala choreo. While it's felt like an eternity since you were tackled, it really only took security a few seconds to get the situation under control, and only a few more seconds for your members to surround you.
"What hurts?" Chan panics, crouching down beside you.
"My wrist," you sob, totally overwhelmed from all the commotion. The crowd is still roaring and your wrist throbbing like crazy. The cut on your arm is no comparison to the pain radiating from your wrist.
"Alright, let's move her off stage," a paramedic pushes through the barricade your members have formed around you and helps you stand to your feet. You quickly move off stage, wanting to get out of the crowd's view as soon as possible.
Once off to the side, one paramedic inspects your wrist, gently grasping your forearm to hold you steady, while another wraps the cut on your other arm.
"It definitely looks broken. We should get you to the hospital to get it X-rayed and possibly casted," he explains.
Minho steps up next to you, your earlier arguments swept from your mind. "I'll go with her. You guys finish up here. Probably should cut the setlist short anyway; we're already behind schedule."
You follow behind the paramedics, them leading you outside to the ambulance. Minho walks beside you, providing you familiarity in this uncomfortable situation.
The ride to the hospital is silent except for the beeping of the machines the paramedics have you connected to. Minho holds your unbroken hand the whole ride, your disagreements on the backburner for the moment.
The more time that passes, the sorer your body becomes. Your arms feel heavy, and your back feels like it was beaten with a hammer. You realize you've probably been in shock this whole time, and the attacker did more damage than you originally thought.
You finally find yourself in a hospital room, Minho pulling the chair up beside you.
"Well," the doctor says, pulling your X-ray up onto the screen, "This cut doesn't require stitches, just keep it bandaged and medicated. We'll give you a Tetanus shot for it, though, since it was done with a knife. As for your wrist, it's definitely broken. The good news, though, is that it doesn't look like it will require surgery. What color cast do you want?"
You're expression appears dazed to Minho and the doctor, your mind completely preoccupied. "Black," you mumble, just loud enough for him to hear you.
The doctor nods his head, disappearing from the room to retrieve the supplies to apply your cast and the shot.
You look to Minho, finally feeling like you have processed everything that's happened. "What the hell happened? How did that guy get past security, and with a knife especially?"
"Honestly, we're not sure. Management and security are reviewing the camera footage now. We were trying to be cautious; there was so much extra security tonight. It should've been impossible for anyone to get to you."
You process his words, a realization forming in your mind. "Did you guys know something about this beforehand?" Your eyebrows furrow. If they knew something, they for sure would have told you, too, right? "Is this what you were talking about in the hallway before the concert?"
"Y/N," he sighs, giving you a look full of remorse.
"No. I don't want any bullshit," you snap, "Did you or did you not know something was wrong before the concert? Is that why you have been giving me a hard time all day?" You start to put the puzzle pieces together, the day replaying in your head.
The overprotectiveness, the extra security, them not wanting you to go on your phone- they knew.
Minho looks to the ground, his shoulders slumping. "Look, we find out about some rumors going around online this morning, but-"
"Get out," you say, your voice tense.
His head snaps up, his remorseful eyes meeting your fiery ones. "What?"
"I said, Get. Out." Your unbroken hand aggressively points to the door.
"I'm not leaving you here alone. Let's just talk about this-"
"You had all day to talk to me about this, but now that I'm injured and traumatized you want to talk about it?" Your incredibly angry, and your words are filled with venom. "Get out, get out, get out!"
"Do you really think it's the best idea to be by yourself right now?" His eyes are filled with sorrow, his hands in dire need to reach out to you.
"If you don't leave right now, I will scream."
His watchful gaze rests on you for a couple seconds, before he finally gives in, rising to his feet. He walks toward the door. "We'll send a car to come get you when you're ready. There's security out here waiting, and your manager is out in the hall. I'll see you when you get back to the hotel."
He disappears out the door, once again leaving you alone with your thoughts. How dare they not tell you? There are threats going around online about you, and you're the last one they tell? In what world does that make any sense?
The doctor comes back in the room just a few minutes later. He's quick with putting your cast on, and he sends you on your way, requesting you stop by the front desk to sign a few documents before you go.
You follow him out the door, meeting up with your manager and security right outside the room.
After signing the paperwork, your manager leads you outside to the car that has been called for you.
Fans must've found out which hotel they took to you, and the outside of the hotel is flooded with Stay. Normally, you'd be ecstatic to see so many of them. However, you're exhausted and hurt, so you bring your hood over your head and stare at the ground, thankful for the security that surrounds you.
You climb in the back of the car, your manager following suit. "Why was I not informed about the threats online?" you question, your eyebrows furrowing in anger.
"The concert was going to go on no matter what, so we figured it'd be easier to get you out there if you didn't know about them."
Your jaw drops at her statement. "That is not fair, how can you just assume that? I had a right to know about this," you argue.
"This isn't really up for discussion. It's the way we chose to handle it, and that's that."
You're in disbelief at her careless attitude. "How did the guys find out about it then?"
"Nosy little shits," she laughs, but you're not sure how she's finding any humor in this situation. "They saw them online themselves. We practically had to threaten their contracts to get them not to tell you."
Your heart constricts at this new information. Emotions flood your system, and you're suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for your interaction with Minho in the hospital room. All the arguments between the two of you flood your mind, and remorse rushes your body.
They have just been trying to keep you safe all day. Trying to keep you off your phone, not letting you wander by yourself, the whispers behind your back. It all makes sense now. And you realize you've been a royal bitch all day to the wrong people.
You turn to look out the window for the remainder of the drive, knowing it's useless to argue with your manager. What she says goes. This doesn't mean you're not angry with her and the rest of management, though. This conversation needs to be had in a professional setting, not in the backseat of a car when you're by yourself.
Once you arrive at the hotel, your quick to jump out of the car, wanting to be away from your careless manager. However, you stand directly outside the door, patiently waiting for security to escort you to your room.
They walk you all the way up to your shared room with Seungmin, and you're not surprised to find all of them waiting for you when you open the door.
They're conversations halt, all eyes snapping to you. You walk in and set your bag down on the bed. Your eyes well up with tears for what feels like the hundredth time that day. "I'm so sorry," you cry, afraid to meet their concerned gazes. "Today has just been so overwhelming, and my manager sucks, and my back hurts, and I have been so rude to you guys all day-," your words are cut short by another sob wracking through your sore body. You sniffle some more, bringing your sleeve up to wipe at your face. "Min, I'm so sorry for kicking you out. I should've just listened to what you had to say. I'm such a horrible person."
All the guys are quick to stand, not wanting you to rile yourself up anymore. Hyunjin comes over to you first, gently guiding you to sit on the bed. Everyone else follows, all of you now gathered on the queen sized bed. "Listen," Minho starts, comforting you, "Absolutely none of this is your fault, you hear?" He pulls you down next to him, his arm coming up around your shoulders. "Today has been an awful day, and you don't need to work yourself up about how you treated us."
"Yea, but-"
"No buts, you need to rest. We are not mad at you."
"Not one bit. We love you so much, and we're so sorry you had to go through that. Are you ok? How's your wrist?" Chan asks from the edge of the bed, placing a comforting hand on your ankle.
"It hurts, but the doctor gave me some painkillers to take for the next few days. My cut didn't need stitches, but I have to keep it bandaged until it heals," you explain, your words coming out steadier than before.
Your cries eventually calm down, leaving you sniffling every now and again. Felix notices you've calmed down, and he nudges your leg, opening his arms for you. You crawl into them, relaxing into his calm and comforting embrace. The rest of them are quick to follow, creating one big group hug.
You know this situation is certainly not over. I'm sure you guys will press charges, and you'll probably have to release a statement of some kind. It seems that management and you guys have come to a silent agreement to deal with everything in the morning, and you couldnโ€™t be more grateful for it.
~ ~ ~
Part 2
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jinnie-ret ยท 1 year ago
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9th member whos family is extremely unsupportive of their career choices, skz do their best to cheer them up after a loud argument that the boys overhear. their family is rude and downright mean to their 9th member and they cant let them be put down by their family so they remind her that theyre her family. love your writing.
family is complicated
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stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)
genre: angst, fluff
content warnings: emotionally abusive parents
word count: 1.6k
summary: after your troubling phone call is overhead by all of the boys, they comfort you and reassure you that they are your true family
Thank you sm for your request!! I hope you enjoy this one too :)))
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"Y/Nnie! Lunch is ready," Chan called the maknae into the kitchen, plating up some food for her. Although they lived in different dorms now, Y/N staying with 3RACHA and Hyunjin, and Lee Know and Felix staying with VocalRACHA, they decided to do a whole group meal today.
Everyone was sat waiting at the table, before a sluggish looking Y/N padded into the kitchen, wiping sleep away from her eyes.
"Aw bless her, she looks exhausted," Felix whispered and frowned to Han, who nodded along.
"It's her mum and dad again, don't mention them yeah?" Han quietly replied, offering a light smile to Y/N when she plonked herself down into the chair opposite him.
"Mmm, what's for breakfast?" Y/N blinked her eyes rapidly, where redness could be seen around the lids. After an endless streams of texts from her parents last night, she cried herself to sleep, the boys doing their best to comfort her before she allowed herself to break down.
"It's lunch time, silly," Hyunjin fondly giggled as he ruffled her hair and placed a cup of tea down in front of her. "Here, peppermint tea, I know it's your favourite."
"Thanks Jinnie," Y/N tilted her head upwards and he smiled and scrunched his nose at her in response.
"It's nice having lunch together like this, I feel like we haven't done it in a while," Jeongin commented, twirling some ramen with his chopsticks.
"We had fried chicken at the company like two days ago," Changbin pointed out and laughed.
"Yeah but it's different being sat around the table with a home cooked meal," Lee Know nodded and agreed with Jeongin.
"It's different now, like sometimes I get a facetime and just have Seungmin staring at me whilst he eats like," Han starts laughing, and mimics the face the puppy like member of the group would pull.
"What do you think about eating on your own, Seungmin? Now that we've split into different dorms," Chan asked curiously from one end of the table.
"I love it so much," Seungmin genuinely and joyfully says, causing everyone to break out into laugh, Hyunjin's iconic cackle sticking out amongst them all. Even Y/N, in a tired quiet mood, broke out into a smile.
But that happy mood, was torn in half by the ringtone that blared from Y/N's phone. She picked up her phone and sighed when she saw the contact name, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Are you ok, Y/N?" Minho queried gently from next to her, making his tone more caring and comforting like he always did when he spoke to her. She was similar to Felix in that she had a sensitive heart.
"I'm f-fine, umm, I've got to take this," Y/N scoots out of her chair from the dining table, and walks round the corner from the kitchen into the hallway that followed down to their individual bedrooms.
"I'm worried about her," Jeongin spoke up, a frown tugging on his features, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards.
"I swear if that's her parents-" Changbin gritted his teeth.
"When will you come home and leave that useless job behind you?"
"Mum, why do you always do this to me? I'm doing something that I truly love and you always dismiss it!"
"I don't care about what you enjoy doing. You're not thinking about your family. How could you leave us like this? It's disrespectful. You've betrayed us!"
"I send money to you every month! I support you! I do everything I can, mum!"
"Your everything isn't good enough, Y/N. You're an embarrassment to the whole family."
"Mum don't say that!"
Then there was the sound of the phone call being hung up on, and Y/N quickly dashed past the opening of the hallway to rush into the bathroom.
"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do, girl. I thought you may have changed your mind after my wise words last night, but I can see you're still as stupid and ignorant as ever."
"Y/N-" Han stood up to stop her and grab her attention, but she had already slammed the door.
"Have they always been that bad?" Seungmin questioned, appalled at the phone call they all overheard.
In her tired state, Y/N must have put the call on loudspeaker, and not realised that the boys had heard it too.
"I knew they were bad but... hearing her own mother yell at her like that... I thought the texts were bad," Chan sighed and shook his head. His hands rested on the table and he cracked his knuckles together.
"Why, what happened with the texts? Hannie said just to act normal but..." Felix brought up what he had said earlier.
"Yesterday she got some threatening texts from her dad, telling her he'd fly over to Seoul and personally drag her back home, and if she didn't 'comply and obey him' he'd make sure that she'd 'pay for it'," Hyunjin sighed, quoting the exact words he read from Y/N's phone himself.
"That bastard threatened violence?!" Lee Know exclaimed in disbelief, his fist clenched tightly around the edge of the table.
"We should check on her," Jeongin got up as he shook his head, walking round to the bathroom and knocking on the door. "Y/Nnie? Do you want to talk about what happened, love? We all heard," he added onto the end.
"No, it's fine, Innie. I'm ok, please don't come in," Y/N's voice cracked. "I just want some time to myself," she whimpered from the cold bathroom floor, rocking back and forth as she tried to process the words her own mother threw at her once more. Her mind was frantically pulling her in all sorts of different directions, saying 'what if' a thousand times.
"Sweetheart, please talk to us, we're worried about you," Felix's deep voice came from the other side of the door.
"I'm fine," Y/N sniffled, shakily standing up as her head pounded from all of the stress.
"You're not, we can hear it in your voice, Y/Nnie," Lee Know said firmly, a hint of frustration in his voice but only because he cared about her so much.
"Please open the door, Y/N," Jeongin tried again, hand resting against the door.
"She's not going to, mate," Bang Chan sighed, slumping down into the sofa, stretching out his neck and body. "She said she wants to be alone."
But then, the lock to the bathroom door clicked, revealing an exhausted looking Y/N who had tear streams down her face, as well as red eyes and a red nose.
"I don't want to talk about it," Y/N could barely look up at the three members that had been stood outside of the bathroom waiting for her.
"That's fine, just come sit with us, yeah?" Felix grabbed her hand gently.
"Don't shut us out, please," Lee Know ducked his head down to look into her eyes, and the girl nodded, still looking down at her feet. He rested his hand on her lower back as they encouraged her to head through to the lounge.
"Come here," Hyunjin opened his arms immediately as soon as she entered the room and just like that she was glued to his side.
"Y/N, I know you won't want to talk about it, but let us talk to you, ok?" Changbin started, "The way you have been treated by your parents, is by all means, not ok."
"And we want you to know, because we heard what your mum said, you are enough for us," Seungmin added on.
Their kind words caused her to let out a sob, and she heard coos and hushes around her of 'oh, Y/N!'.
"Darling, please don't get upset," Han crouched down in front of Y/N and wiped her tears away, and Hyunjin's arms tightened around her.
"I-it's just, it's-" Y/N couldn't get her words out before another sob ripped from her throat.
"Y/Nnie, breathe, it's ok love, take your time," Chan gently spoke up, causing her to listen to his words and actively take some deep breaths.
"We won't let you feel down ever again from the things they had said or done to you," Lee Know promised.
"We're your family, Y/Nnie," Jeongin cracked a small smile, eyes glistening with tears of his own.
"I wish you had been my family from the start. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life already," Y/N cried out, her hands digging into her legs.
"Oh, if we could have been a group from the start I'm sure we would have. Just think this, you've got us now. I know it's easier said then done, but don't worry about the past. Let's just think about our future, ok?" Changbin said from next to her on the sofa, gently pulling her hands away from her lap to prevent her from causing more harm.
"But what if-" Y/N stuttered and stopped herself from continuing once more.
"There are no what ifs with us, Y/N," Hyunjin rubbed circles into her shoulders.
"Yeah, you're stuck with us now," Han joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked.
For a few more moments you revelled in the comfort of being with your members, your family before going on with the rest of your day. And if anyone asked Chan if he blocked your mum and dad's phone numbers, he'd say no, of course. If they were really worried, they had other ways of getting in contact. It wouldn't hurt anyone. Just make your lives easier as a family.
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky
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