#skywarp i’m so sorry this is how you look the first time i draw you…not 🤣

[kaontic]

Prob what’s gonna happen to Star, if he can’t move his H.I.S.S. Tank aft out the way in time:

PS: Skywarp got so excited that he tore himself away from the Ark to bear witness to the cringe.

(Yes, blind individuals can be witnesses in court)

(Wait, is he blind too or “just” lobotomized? 🤔

Cuz I was thinkin’ of schedulin’ a lobotomy for Megs, esp since I now realize that Skywarp prob got desensitized to violence the same way Star did)

Reflector, ur ded.

Cope harder lmao.

[kagebros]

Home (A Marissacracker Fic)

Summary: Thundercracker’s been stranded on Earth for quite a bit now with Marissa. But it turns out he doesn’t exactly mind that. Especially when it’s with her and Buster. Warnings: N/A Word Count: 2066

Location: Keystone, Colorado

“Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? You are!” Thundercracker’s voice sang in the barn. Buster gave a hearty bark back to him and licked at his servos. “Oh, you’ve gotten to be such a big girl, haven’t you,” he said, rubbing her belly with a digit. The barn door creaked open as Marissa came in with her hands full, carrying two full gas cans. Buster got up from the ground and bound towards Marissa with a cheerful bark.

“Looks like you two’ve been hanging out again,” Marissa teased. She drew near Thundercracker to set the gas cans down, carefully maneuvering around Buster’s every attempt to get in between her legs and give her what Buster considered a hug. “Buster, lemme set these down first then you can give me a hug!” It was a routine the two were used to. It had been three years after all since Thundercracker and Marissa had first met. Now the two had settled into a routine Thundercracker and Marissa enjoyed. Most days he was left alone, Marissa off at work and Thundercracker being left to watch Buster. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, he loved Buster with all his spark and would do anything for his dog (Marissa had told him a year into him being here that Buster was his and hers, his time spent with Buster and, specifically her trust, in Thundercracker being enough for her to let him say that Buster was his dog too.) When Marissa set down the gas cans in front of Thundercracker, his frame huddled to accommodate the small space of the barn (it was enough for him to stand up fully but then it would feel even more cramped with the roof less than a metre above his helm), he reached out for the gas cans. Buster took no time in forcing herself between Marissa’s legs as she stood and Marissa let out a laugh as Buster hugged her. 

“Thank you for getting this for me again,” Thundercracker said, picking up one of the gas cans and beginning to drink from the nozzle. It was a necessity at this point. Thundercracker had no way of getting energon without overexerting himself and putting himself in danger, knowing what was happening out there. The government was hunting down Decepticons. And as much as Thundercracker was an ex-Decepticon, they wouldn’t know that. Gasoline had an acrid taste but it was something he quickly grew used to since he needed it to survive and avoid rusting. It sucked to be stuck on a planet that wanted to kill him but he didn’t mind it as much with Marissa and Buster by his side. Marissa was understanding and kind, she didn’t seem to hold any malice or hatred towards him despite hearing all the awful events that went down because of the Decepticons. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Thundercracker didn’t kill her the moment they first met. Or because Marissa didn’t run off screaming and trying to call the authorities to come and get him killed. She ran but. She came back. 

During the time they spent together, Thundercracker learned a few things about her. She was 29 years of age, soon to be 30 this year, coming from a family in Scotland, far from where Colorado was. Working as a manager at a hospital, she oversaw various operations and decisions that led to people’s lives being saved. When she wasn’t at work, she would spend as much time with Thundercracker as possible. She was curious about him after all and she genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. There were nights where Marissa would show Thundercracker movies, trying to get him familiar with Earth culture. Thundercracker was immediately hooked as he grew more and more interested with things such as cinematography, director’s decisions on how a scene should be played out, dialogue and setting. Marissa would often fall asleep to the movies, huddled up against Buster, who was also asleep as she’d fall asleep on Marissa as soon as they were both comfortable, a warm blanket over her as she would lean against Thundercracker’s leg. It was nights like those where his optics would dart over to her and watch her fondly before going back to the movie. One night he’d set his servos down to provide Marissa with some extra comfort and when she reached out and hugged one of his digits close, his spark jumped. He’d never felt this way with anyone before. It was a conflicting feeling. Being attracted to a human when he was a Cybertronian. He wasn’t disgusted but he felt that it was wrong. Looks like years of being part of the Decepticons who had dismissed anything organic as inferior or useless were still affecting him. 

“You alright?” Marissa’s voice called out, snapping Thundercracker back to reality. Thundercracker stopped trying to drink from the empty gas can, having finished it while he was thinking and blinked, looking down at her. 

“Sorry,” he said. “Distracted. Was thinking about something.”

“Something you need to talk about?” she then asked. Thundercracker shook his head. 

“I’m just grateful that you’ve been doing this for me for so long, I know it’s a bit inconvenient and I’d honestly go try to look for the energon if I could but… well, you know what they’d do to me if they found me.” Thundercracker neglected to add that he also didn’t want to leave Marissa or Buster at all. He’d have to admit that he’d grown very attached to them over the years of living in her barn. He just only hoped that Marissa felt the same.

“Well, I’m not too keen on them taking you to Cheyenne Mountain anytime,” Marissa replied. “Besides, I’m too used to having you here now,” she then said. “It’d be weird to not have you here. Buster especially would miss you,” she said, patting Buster’s head. “Have you been paying attention to the news lately? It looks like they’re hunting your buddies down.”

“I’ve noticed,” Thundercracker sighed. “I almost was tempted to stop watching altogether. It’s too depressing for me to watch.” Marissa laughed.

“I completely feel you on that, TC,” Marissa chuckled. “They said that the Autobots were safe from all this but I’m not too sure on that,” she said. 

“You think they’re hunting the Autobots down too?”

“Just a hunch, I just haven’t… seen much news of them, y’know?”

“Hmm,” Thundercracker hummed in thought. “The Autobots are just as trapped here as the Decepticons.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad they haven’t found you yet. I know there’s this whole ‘Call a Transformer in to report them’ they started wanting us to do a year ago but I’ve never had a need to report you at all,” Marissa said. 

“I hope that need never comes, if I’m being honest,” Thundercracker huffed. “Again, thank you for your hospitality.”

“We’re friends, TC, you can stay here as long as you want, I know Buster would love that,” she said. “I mean, me too as well,” Marissa then added quietly, looking away for a moment in embarrassment. “Anyway, you been up to anything today?” Marissa then asked, changing the topic. 

“I’ve been working more on my screenplay,” Thundercracker replied. “It’s about a Seeker, who’s out there looking for love in the vast emptiness of space,” he gestured with his servo.

“Oh?” Marissa said, propping her head up. “And what’s this Seeker’s name?”

“Her name is Cadet. A Seeker that defected from the Decepticons early in the war to find herself. And she’s a Cityspeaker.”

“A Cityspeaker? What’s that?”

“Well, a Cityspeaker is a rare type of Cybertronian. If I remember correctly they’re the type of outlier that can actually communicate with our cities. The cities back on Cybertron really were giant Cybertronians as well. But they mainly slumbered. It’s said that the Cityspeakers could wake them up and they’d ally with the speakers. I’ve never seen a Seeker be a Cityspeaker. I was told they only come from Caminus but it’d be nice to see the representation I guess,” Thundercracker said. 

“Is Caminus different from Cybertron?”

“Yeah, I can’t tell you too much about Caminus though, I’ve never really. Been there,” Thundercracker confessed. “I’ve been to a lot of places on Cybertron though! Although at this point a lot of the cities are destroyed.”

“What happened to the cities?”

“The Titans?” Thundercracker then clarified. “I. I’m not too sure,” he said. “I just know that. We… destroyed our planet. I think we killed some of the Titans. Some of the cities… they’re in ruins.” He looked away with some guilt. He then felt a hand placed on his pede and he looked down to see Marissa. 

“Hey, listen,” she said. “I know you feel guilty for what happened to your home… but is it really your fault? It’s war, you were just following orders.”

“Yeah, well… I should have defected earlier,” Thundercracker then sighed, drawing himself closer in.

“Why’d you stay?”

“My… family,” he said, the human term slightly unfamiliar. “On our planet though, we’d call it a trine, at least in Seeker terms.” Thundercracker frowned. “I stayed for my family, because I wanted to protect them and be there when they needed it. I mean. We bonded for a reason.”

“Can you tell me about them?” Marissa then asked, trying to bring him some comfort. 

“Well, there’s Starscream and there’s Skywarp. Starscream’s a little bit older than the two of us since Skywarp and I met him only after leaving the academy. He was already a senator at the time.”

“Academy?” Thundercracker nodded. 

“Skywarp and I grew up in an academy. Both of us are outliers, and on Cybertron, outliers were kinda considered outcasts, they didn’t like people like us. But Shockwave, Shockwave saw greatness in us, a lot of us outliers actually. They were like. Our dad, I think that’s the word. Anyway, at some point Shockwave had us live with Starscream, he’d expressed interest in us as not only body doubles but for our powers. Eventually, he started seeing us as family and we got a lot closer than someone would with body doubles,” Thundercracker said fondly. “He’s like Skywarp and I’s big brother,” he translated. “Starscream,” he then laughed. “Can be the most annoying jerk, he always wants to be right and thinks he’s the best looking, always obsessed with his image. But he never belittled us or made fun of us, it was just with other people. I think if someone messed with us, Starscream would be the one to really take care of it and make sure that person never messed with us again. And then there’s Skywarp. She. Well, she’s on the more serious side. They always wanted to be the best and she had a bit of a temper,” Thundercracker said, switching between they and she pronouns for Skywarp. “They’re stubborn too, but stubborn in the best way. She never let us get ourselves down. I guess. I was the dreamer of the trine,” he said, scratching at his helm. He then sighed and dropped his helm. “I hope they don’t hate me for what I did.”

“What did you do?” Marissa asked. 

“I defected, I betrayed them,” Thundercracker said. “Instead of going back to Cybertron with them, I. I left them.”

“Thundercracker,” Marissa then called out. “I don’t think they’d hate you,” she said. “They’re probably hurting though because you are their family. And from what it seems like they miss you and hope you’re alright more than anything. I can hear how much love you have for both of them.”

“Yeah, well… I can’t go back to them anytime now, especially with what’s going on out there.”

“It’ll be over sooner or later,” Marissa assured. “And I’ll do anything and everything to try and help you, Thundercracker,” she said. Thundercracker blinked and looked down towards her this time. She was looking away in embarrassment and if Thundercracker’s optics didn’t betray them, her cheeks were dusted pink. “Anyway,” she said, clearing her throat. “I think it’s Buster’s feeding time, huh?” she said. Buster let out an excited bark, her butt wiggling from how much her tail was wagging as she followed Marissa out of the barn. He couldn’t help but cover his face in embarrassment as the energon rushed to his cheeks. 

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Cyberverse watch! Episodes 1-10

EPISODE 1

Bee you are ADORABLE

The cartoons always seem to start off in the middle of a desert huh

Lmao this is mean but imagine if bee missed the ju-- OH NO I WAS JUST KIDDING BEE

BUMBLEBEE IM SO SORRY I WAS JUST KIDDING, I SHOULDN”T HAVE MADE THAT JOKE

Gosh I’m so glad Windblade seems like one of the main three, like, she’s one of the main people in the intro and everything

Oh man we’re getting right into the bakstory huh

THERE”S TINY PERCY

“We couldn’t be sure if it’d actually work” Windblade says as she jumps through it without any concern or sense of self-preservation

AW SHE HUGGED BEE Windblade is so cute

IS THAT...SKYWARP

It’s so hard to tell the seekers apart

AW MAN I LOVE WINDBLADE’S SWORD And I love that her wings are retractable that’s so cool

STINGER that’s a new ability for ol’ Bee

OH THAT”S THUNDERCRACKER alrighty, sorry bud, I always think you should be green for some reason

JEEZ LOUISE WINDBLADE THAT CORTICAL PSYCHIC PATCH

I wonder if Windblade is still a Cityspeaker in this show :O

oh ANNNND THAT”S THE END OF THAT EPISODE man I forgot they were only 11 minutes. Alright, what the heck, let’s do some more

EPISODE 2

Alright I’m pretty sure that pretty purple seeker isn’t Skywarp but  idk what her name is yet

Aw grumpy Bee is cute

HER FANS JUST FLEW OFF???? WE’RE JUST PLAYING FAST AND LOOSE WITH THESE DESIGNS HUH I gotta say I’m a fan

“I’m going to create a distraction while you--” *camera zooms out to show Bee’s wandered off* I LOVE THEM

Yeah Windblade may not be a Cityspeaker in this series but she’s definitely a babysitter lmao, poor gal

OH SHE IS A CITYSPEAKER THAT”S AWESOME I wasn’t sure if they’d keep that part of her backstory :’) I’m so glad

Awww they hugged again :’)))) Windblade and Bee’s friendship is so cute!!

AAWW AND AGAIN!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM “We were friends once” “We still are” WEEPS!!!!

EPISODE 3

Windblade: BUMBLEBEE STOP DRIVING SO BADLY IM TRYING TO MONOLOGUE

Windblade: I’m going to plug into your brain with this cortical psychic patch and access your memories Bumblebee: I don’t believe this woman’s ever gone to medical school

Lmao way to sum things up Bee

TRIFORCE CUBE ALLSPARK

I wonder if the Allspark swallowed up / locked away his memories AH and as soon as I started typing that some weird glowing stuff started happening lmao

Ah and there’s Starscream, the dork

Man had Saling not warned me about Peter Cullen not voicing Optimus I would’ve been totally caught off-guard by that. Man, I hope Mr. Cullen is doing ok

I DON”T KNOW WHY BUT MEGATRON SAYING “AHAHA OPTIMUS PRIME” MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD

STARSCREAM TOOK OFF HIS WINGS AND THREW THEM WTF

LMAO SHE JUST TRIPPED HIM OFF A LEDGE #Get rekt Starscream

SCARY LADY WHO THE HECK IS THAT

SOUNDWAVE

MY BOY!!! IT”S HIM THERE HE IS!!! I JUST GASPED

SOUNDWAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU”RE DOING SO GOOD

OH MAN AND HE CAN TALK???? SOUNDWAVE BABY BOY!!!!!

OUCH poor Optimus

Optimus: Good thing I was a pitcher in my middle school’s football league *chucks Allspark through the space bridge*

EPISODE 4

That Allspark looks so much like a dice....I wonder what would happen if they rolled a nat 20 on it lmao

GRIMLOCK??????

WHEELJACK?????

lmao wheeljack looks like such a dork I love him

OH MY GOSH IS THAT CHROMIA??? SCREW THESE GUYS, THERE”S MY GIRL!!!!

Lmao I love that Windblade’s essentially “Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories”-ing Bee’s memories

Optimus: Meet back here in 20 astrocycles Grimlock: Sure thing! *whispers to bee* What the heck is an astrocycle Bee: *Shrugs*

Bee: I don’t know, but this place is the pits I LOVE HIM?????

It’s so weird hearing “intellectual” Grimlock lmaooo

Bee: *grumbles* Optimus would’ve thought that was a funny joke YOU ARE PRECIOUS

Optimus: Bee, watch your footing, the ground is starting to shake Bee: Thank you for that wonderful observation, Captain Obvious

Those bugs are making such cute sounds as they attack them that’s so cute

Aw Optimus, you’re such a good guy, what a sweetheart

Dang, they have a lot of autobots on that ship

UH THEY SHOULD LEAVE AT LEAST ONE PERSON AWAKE

EPISODE 5

Aw man the snow and mountain background in this episode look so pretty

WHY IS BEE HOLDING A GOAT SO CUTE

Bee: They were very kind. They took me in as one of their own WHY! ARE! YOU! SO! PRECIOUS!!!!!

Windblade: You want a what? What is a food processor? THEY”RE SO CUTE!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM 

oh man the backgrounds on this show are absolutely beautiful

Man, you know what it’s so frickin cool that Windblade’s essentially the main character of the show (plus Bee, but mostly her) :’)

“I thought they left all the useless bots on Cybertron” “Clearly not, if you’re here” OH SNAP

Bee’s just sitting on the ship watching bad human TV while Windblade’s off risking her life lmao, I love him

Slipstream is such a moron, why would you throw a flier off a CLIFF

SHE”S A FLIER

I love how Windblade says “Ugh, I was attacked” as if it’s just an inconvenience and not a huge deal

EPISODE 6

OHHH IS THIS GLADIATOR MEGATRON

YEAHHHH IT IS

AHHHHHH BEE HIGH-FIVED SHOCKWAVE, THAT”S SO CUTE I was wondering what the context was behind that

OH MAN THERE’S ARCEE AND RATCHET

AHHH AND THERE”S SOUNDWAVE They’re all standing beside him!

MEGATRON JUST SAID “TIL ALL ARE ONE” IM CRACKING UP

Optimus: I do not intend to start a fight Bee: What if he doesn’t listen? Optimus: He will listen to me 8′((((( and so it begins </3

Lmao also:  Optimus: I don’t intend to start a fight Optimus two seconds later: *chucks a bot*

OH MAN SHOCKWAVE LOOKS SO INTIMIDATING I LOVE THAT

“The file clerk is here to air his grievances” OHH it’s interesting to see what sort of backstory they’re giving Optimus in this universe

Megatron: You are wasting your time Optimus: It is never a waste of time to speak to an old friend I AM CLUTCHING MY CHEST,  YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME RN

GOSH THIS IS THE MOST DRAMATIC BREAKUP EVER THIS IS KILLING ME IM SO SAD

That one lady Decepticon: *grabs onto Bee and flips him over her head* Me: *CONFLICTED HEART EYE EMOJI????*

SOUNDWAVE!!! IM LOVE YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

GOSH I AM RENDERED INCAPABLE OF COHERENT THOUGHT OR SPEECH WHEN HE COMES ONSCREEN

Bee: Megatron may have torn out my voicebox, but he can’t keep me from talking. I love to talk! Talk talk talk talk.... Windblade: *laughs* Shut up! *weeps into my hands* This friendship is so wholesome

EPISODE 7

AW Decepticon ships have pong on their ships that’s adorable

What is the deal with this cube...is it a person....

AW IS THIS THEIR FIRST MEETING, THAT”S SO ADORABLE, gosh, what a dorky way for Windblade and Bee to meet

IT”S A SPORT OH MY GOSHHHH that’s amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any sort of Cybertronian sports, that’s so cool! I always wondered what kind of sports / games they’d be into

lmao Starscream is so unimpressed with Windblade for liking the game

Ahh Windblade’s taller than him! That’s so cool!

LMAO Bee: You seem different. You’re not like other jets

GOSH THIS EPISODE IS LITERALLY MEAN GIRLS BUT WITH GIANT ROBOTS THIS IS HILARIOUS

Lmao yeah Starsream, because no one’s going to notice the cube is suddenly red instead of blue

AW NEITHER OF THEM REMEMBER HOW TO PLAY CUBE that’s adorable

EPISODE 8

Ugh, there really aren’t any good places to watch episode 8 so I’m watching it all broken up

YO VELOCITRON EXISTS IN THIS UNIVERSE NICEEEE It’s so cool seeing the colony planets!!

YO VELOCITRON LOOKS SO C

OH MY GOSH THERE’S HOT ROD!!!! I LOVE HIM OH MY GOSH BLURR IS HERE TOO!!!!

HOT ROD!!!! RODDY!!! YOU SOUND SO CUTE I LOVE YOU!!!!

Wait wtf is that evil wheeljack??? WHO IS THAT oh wait Plague of Rust??? that doesn’t sound great

“HOT DOG”

I really like Bee’s voice ahhhh he got such a great voice actor

Hot Rod and Blurr’s banter is so fun, that’s really great, and Bee’s like an excitable little kid!!! I love him!!!!

Blurr you stupid twunk, you gotta get out of there THAT RUST IS SPREADING SO FAST

OH NO HIS WHEEL GOT SOME RUST ON IT

OH SHOOT THEY’RE REALLY GONNA KILL BLURR HUH

DANG DUDE WELL OK THEN

EPISODE 9

Nicccce good friends sparring

WHO IS THIS CREEPY MULTIPLE EYED GIRL oh her name is Shadow Striker

*MEANINGFUL SILENCE AT THE WAY THEY STRUNG OPTIMUS UP*

“Ugh, I don’t even like being alone in the room with him” “I don’t like being left alone with you!” LMAO

Bee is so cute, he’s trying to psych himself up

LMAO THE GUARDS ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR PREFERENCES AND THEIR BOSS that’s so cute what losers

AW MAN I thought Bumblebee was gonna hug Optimus that would’ve been cute

There’s so many seekers in this series!

Man I wasn’t sure what I’d think of Cyberverse but I’m really enjoying myself! It’s such a cute heartwarming show!

...I say, right as Shadow Striker attempts to do a murder / suicide thing with Bumblebee

“What’s your problem with me?!” I MEAN YOU DID BLOW HER UP BUMBLEBEE, CAN YOU BLAME HER FOR BEING MAD

EPISODE 10

Epic space battle! 

BEE YOU DON”T HAVE A SPACE-FARING ALT MODE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

MACCADAMS

THAT”S...DEFINITELY NOT HOW I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRONOUNCED

RIP buff Rung theory, you will be sorely missed

RATCHET!!! GOSH HE DOES SOUND LIKE A WEIRD NEW YORKER that’s an interesting take on his voice! I wonder how they decided on that

SOUNDWAVE!!! SOUNDWAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!!! AND HE EVEN HAS BACKUP DANCERS!!! Of course the crowd is going wild for him

AW MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS *whispers* datenight

WHEELJACK AND SHOCKWAVE AW THAT”S SO CUTE They’re both dorky science nerds / proud papas to the shocklets and OH MY GOSH DID SHOCKWAVE JUST LAUGH THAT”S SO CUTE

Gosh I love seeing the bots talking about sports that’s adorable

MACCADAM IS TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE goshhh. I still see buff Rung but actually getting to meet Maccadam is pretty neat

DEADLOCK AHHH aw he’s so timid!! I love him :’) 

CHROMIA!!! I LOVE HER!!! And aww she’s making the same argument she does in the comic

OH NO DEADLOCK POOR GUY what a sweetheart, he’s just out here doing his best 

YOOOO MACCADAM THAT”S SICK AS HELL, IM SCREAMING

THIS DUDE DEFINITELY TAKES AFTER HIS PAPA RUNG

I need to draw Mac and Rung together, I NEED to see them hanging out

“To friendship” AW THAT”S SO PRECIOUS GOSHHHH

I CAN”T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF THIS SHOW I LOVE IT

[ckret2]

Here’s my @secretsolenoid​ gift for Kiwii! The prompt was “[IDW] Megastar: dancing”! (You also made a reference in your wishlist to drawing and i spent all december like “o shit are you hoping for fanart” i hope you’re okay with fanfic i am sorry im but a humble ficwriter.)

Also posted on AO3 here.

About 3k words of Starscream talking Megatron into learning to dance as Iacon burns.

“Lead Me”

For the first time since Optimus took control of the Autobots, the Decepticons held part of Iacon.

Just a small corner of it, west of the Septentrio Expressway, not quite reaching all the way north to the warehouse district—far from where Metroplex had squatted down over the Citadel. But it was several square miles—most of which they’d already gleefully bombed to rubble the day before, and tonight were very personally finishing the job of flattening—and it included a massive convention hall with underground hotel facilities that had been once used by the Senate and those few elites who had been rich enough to move in the senators’ circle.

Now, the hotel facilities were Decepticon bunkers—even with six to the average room, it was far more luxurious than anything they'd had in Kaon—and the convention center on top was filled with weapons and makeshift medical facilities. Most of which were currently empty, except for a couple of stragglers getting outfitted with weapons; everyone else was in the streets, slaughtering the cowardly neutrals who had failed to evacuate the blocks that the Decepticons now controlled—making an example of those who didn't either bow down to the Decepticons or get out of their way.

Megatron had elected to spend this battle—if it could really be called that—back in their headquarters. This close to Metroplex, if he showed his face outside, it would invariably lure Optimus into battle, and he felt his troops deserved an opportunity to slaughter the civilians in peace without having to worry about Autobot retribution. Shockwave had stayed behind as well and was somewhere in the armories, no doubt scavenging parts from the choice weapons for some unsanctioned experiment. Soundwave was out with the troops, going street by street and building by building, telepathically scanning them one by one for survivors hiding in the dark, and sending his friends in to kill them.

Which left one question.

Where was Starscream?

Megatron hadn't seen or heard him anywhere in the convention center-turned-base of operations. His comm unit was off. A call to Thundercracker, out dropping bombs on tall buildings with Skywarp, confirmed that Starscream wasn't with them, although Megatron commanded Thundercracker to report if they found Starscream. Where was he? Starscream wasn't the type to vanish quietly into the shadows, especially when there was a victory to revel in—and if the victory was too boring for his tastes, he was eager to let Megatron know. So what in the world...?

He was trying to decide whether he should be irritated or start suspecting foul play when he got a comm from Skywarp. "Found him! Sir."

"He's with you?"

"No, sir!" Skywarp sounded far too chipper for Megatron to like where this was going. "He's back at the command center."

"Where?"

"In that big room, near the top, with the giant window wall."

Megatron had surveyed this building top to bottom, and there was only one room that met that description. "The ballroom?"

"Yep!" And Skywarp promptly hung up—Megatron would have Starscream chew him out for that later—before Megatron could ask what, exactly, Starscream was doing there.

One way to find out. He found the stairs and headed up.

Megatron found the entrance to the ballroom—entrances, really, an absurd bit of ostentation, three broad double doors right next to each other, each tall enough to accommodate a shuttle with a car standing on each shoulder—and pushed wide the door that Starscream, evidently, had left ajar. And stopped dead in the doorway. "What on Cybertron are you doing?"

Starscream stumbled, but didn't stop. "I suppose you talked to Skywarp?" Which didn't answer Megatron's question, but really, it didn't need answering; Megatron might not have been terribly acquainted with the high arts, but he knew dancing when he saw it. "He was waving at me from the window." Starscream gestured toward the massive floor-to-ceiling window that covered the long wall of the empty ballroom, from which in the day time there could have been an excellent view of the one-sided battle below—but in the dark, only the fires and occasional tiny flashes of lasers were clearly visible.

Starscream turned the gesture toward the window into a twirl as he glided across the floor. If he was at all self-conscious about having been caught dancing alone by Megatron—and Megatron had little doubt he must be—he was doing an excellent job of hiding it by carrying right on with what he'd been doing. That, Megatron thought, deserved a little admiration.

But only a little. "You're not going out to raze the city?"

"Is it an order?"

"No. But I thought you'd be able to appreciate the value of helping."

"Hah! We're bombing empty buildings and civilians." He twisted his wings as he spun, and Megatron could feel the breeze from the air they displaced. "They don't need my help."

"It's not about whether help is needed. There's no serious resistance out there, and that's precisely why we're fighting them—to give the troops a chance to celebrate, and to assert the superiority of the Decepticons. To show how easily their city crumbles and their people fall. We're dominating Iacon."

"Hmm." Starscream twirled across the floor, and in the split second that Megatron's gaze was captured by Starecream's arms and shoulders rather than his legs, he could have sworn Starscream was gliding, his motions were so effortlessly smooth. "You're not going to dominate anything until you take out Metroplex."

Starscream was, regrettably, right. Megatron looked past him and out the massive windows at Iacon. Even from here, even with the fires and intermittent explosions occasionally overtaking the dark, even with the reflection of the ballroom making it hard to see through the window—he could see the dull red light, the one atop Metroplex's tallest tower, flashing on and off like a single optic winking tauntingly at Megatron: here I am, here I still am.

They could crush all of Iacon to dust, but until they conquered the Autobots' stronghold, they'd dominated nothing.

"It's psychological warfare," Megatron said crankily. "To terrify and intimidate the opposition, and make them easier to crush. Not your area of speciality, I know."

Starscream snorted. "You're only terrifying neutrals, and they're already terrified. The Autobots aren't going to be impressed at seeing we can kill unarmed, defenseless civilians. If anything, they'll be inspired to revenge on the civilians' behalf."

Revenge they wouldn't be able to get, because they were too weak to do anything but hide behind Metroplex's walls, and the Decepticons had just seized control of the main route by which they were bringing in supplies; but Megatron couldn't make that point without first conceding that this wasn't about intimidating the opposition, and he wasn't ready to surrender that point yet.

He was still contemplating his next argument when Starscream continued: "Besides, if you're going for psychological warfare, a fighter jet dancing in a ballroom used by senators is far more terrifying than a pack of fighter jets dropping bombs."

Megatron could see what Starscream was getting at—oh, the existential horror that would inspire in Functionists—but he was going to make Starscream work for the point before he awarded it. "And how is that more terrifying?" Go on, Starscream, elucidate your argument. Megatron started a global resistance movement with a couple of essays; he grades hard.

Starscream arched back, lifting one leg into the air—could he lift it as high as his head? Primus below—and wrapped a hand under his knee to help keep it lifted. "Thrusters," he said, kicking his lower leg demonstratively. "I'm going to leave horrifying scrapes and exhaust stains all over their pretty marble floor."

"HAH!" Megatron hadn't expected that answer. He didn't mean to laugh. Starscream obviously knew that, if the smug smirk he favored Megatron with as he lowered his leg was anything to judge by. All right. Megatron conceded the argument to Starscream. He was more productively serving the Cause by dancing than he would be by bombing Iacon.

And not just by scratching the marble. A fighter jet dancing in a senators' ballroom was equivalent to flashing one's tail lights at the entire lineage of Primes and the Functionist Council all at once.

Megatron had often wondered: if he were to ever write another essay, what would it be about? It seemed unlikely that he would. Right now, he was far too busy waging war to focus his thoughts on writing—if there was one thing that could be said for mining, it was that it was mindless enough that he could turn his mental faculties to writing in his head as he worked. And ideally, once the war was over, there'd be nothing he lacked the power to fix through direct action and so he’d have no need to try to change it through polemics. But, if he did write again...

He had already decided that his next treatise would be on Starscream: a case study on the mistake of Functionism. Because of the shape of his wings, the density of his armor, and the power of his thrusters, he was relegated to the position of common soldier. The highest rank he could ever hope to achieve in life was cannon fodder for the Primal Vanguard. Anyone who ever met him could easily see what a waste to Cybertron it would be to force him to serve as a flying gun.

Within moments of meeting Starscream, even as he was still gushing enthusiasm at meeting his gladiatorial idol, Megatron could see how his entire personality sparkled with charisma. And it didn't take another half hour, as Starscream introduced himself to the growing Decepticon movement and struck up small conversations, for it to become obvious how intrinsically brilliant he was and what a keen observer he was of his surroundings. After making a single circuit of the Decepticon headquarters and returning to Megatron, the first thing he’d asked was "So where do you keep the big guy who splits into two vehicles locked up when he's not terrorizing gladiators?"—based on nothing but what he'd seen of Overlord in combat against Megatron, Starscream had concluded that he was 1) part of the Decepticons, even though he wasn't currently visible, and 2) too dangerous to be allowed out by himself. Astoundingly astute.

Starscream brought in recruits in droves—he knew just what to say to inspire devotion to the Decepticon Cause, when even Megatron's own words could not. He made himself welcome and indispensable everywhere, smiling and and simpering for the Senators until they let him into their confidences, smirking and swaggering for the laborers and gutter trash who needed to see someone from their end of the social ladder who could carry himself like a king. He had the benefit of no education but a fighter jet's standard boot camp training. And yet, he had the mind, the wit, the cunning, the acumen of any of the most highly-trained military minds he had been pitted against so far. He should have been—and Megatron would never use this as a compliment for anyone else—he should have been a politician.

He was cannon fodder. Had he been shipped out with the Primal Vanguard and died on an alien world, the Vanguard wouldn't have considered his body important enough to carry home.

Starscream alone was reason enough to justify this war.

If Megatron ever wrote that treatise—he didn't think it was necessary, now, but if he did—this would be how Megatron introduced it: with Starscream dancing, arms outstretched, wings upraised, legs gliding across the floor. Mechs with Starscream's frame—mechs with any warrior frame at all who hadn't been promoted to the position of global hero—were described as heavy, burly, graceless, thuggish, clomping. Starscream was twice as graceful as mechs with half his armor.

Starscream pirouetted on the tip of one foot, wobbled, stumbled to catch himself, and abruptly turned to face Megatron. "You know what would be even more horrifying than watching a fighter jet dance."

"What?"

"A miner."

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on." Starscream kicked the floor where he'd failed his pirouette; he'd left a nasty scratch in the marble. "Don't think you can top that?"

"I have no interest in trying," Megatron said stiffly. "Dancing is a waste of time. The idle pursuit of alt-mode exempt mechs who want to gloat about the leisure that being freed from a function affords them."

"All the more reason to do it! Since everyone should be alt-mode exempt, right?"

"Wrong. It's a hobby that's been claimed by mechs at the peak of a hierarchy that should never have existed. Imitating them would make it look like I'm aspiring to be like them. My goal is to tear them down, not to seat myself among them."

"Believe me, Megatron, there's no one left alive who would mistake you for an aspiring idle aesthete. I don't think your reputation would be irrevocably damaged if you whirled around the dance floor a couple of times." Starscream planted a hand on his hip and—his optics glittering in challenge—said, oh so very casually, "Anyway, the rest of High Command has been taught how to dance, who could hold it against you if you learned too?" A double insult: the suggestion (accurate) that Megatron not only chose not to dance but also didn't even know how; and the suggestion that, by not doing so, he lacked a skill that all of his commanders had. It was a low blow and an elitist accusation, and one that Megatron couldn't pay Starscream back for without making it look like he'd been insulted. And Starscream knew it, if his smirk was anything to go by.

Megatron would make him regret the jab later. For now, he could only challenge the validity of it. "You? Have been taught how to dance? I would think this,” he made a vague gesture that was supposed to be indicative of Starscream's graceful-but-unstructured glides across the floor, "this prancing wouldn’t be considered ballroom appropriate."

"Oh, of course not! That, I'm making up as I go. But I've been taught to dance properly." He snapped his heels together, raised his arms as if to support an invisible partner, and started dancing neatly, his steps forming smooth, uniform squares across the floor. "Taught by a superior who'd been to officer school—they learn in case they go to any Senate functions; anyone who moves in senators' circles is expected to know how. It might not be formal classroom training, but it's good enough that Zeta Prime never questioned my credentials as a delegate to the Senate." Starscream flashed a wink as he turned his invisible partner around a ninety-degree corner. Megatron scowled. The thought of Zeta with his filthy hands, gilded in fake armor, clutching at Starscream's waist...

"That hardly means the rest of High Command knows how."

"Shockwave was a senator. He knows, of course."

Wasn't that a wild mental image—Shockwave, dancing. "He would never."

"No, but he knows."

"Soundwave doesn't. His background is no higher than yours or mine." Megatron still didn't know Soundwave's exact origins—Megatron didn't even know Soundwave's full name—but Ravage had made passing comments to taking Soundwave in, which meant whatever his background, it had started lower than a cold constructed beastformer with no bipedal mode.

"Do you think Ratbat let his top agent get away with not learning how to dance? Even secret Senate messengers must represent their bosses well."

"At what? Black market business meetings?"

"Even black marketeers have balls."

Megatron laughed derisively.

"I'm serious! Ask Soundwave. Or Ratbat himself, if you want all the greasy details," Starscream said. "Should I go on? You wouldn't believe what Scorponok—"

"That's enough." Megatron had watched Scorponok cave Grimlock's face in, he didn't want to hear that he could dance too.

Starscream finally danced around to facing Megatron again, and favored him with a deceptively sweet little smile. "Well?"

"... All right." Starscream knew Megatron too well. Megatron couldn't abide the thought of being unable to do something his subordinates could. He walked onto the dance floor, head high and feet planted wide, as though proudly stepping into the gladiatorial ring. "Show me."

Starscream broke off his dance with his invisible partner, his little smile spreading into a wide grin. "Since this is your first lesson, and I'm going to be teaching you…” There was something subtly menacing behind his words as he said, "I will lead."

"For now," Megatron said, with what he thought was more indulgence than the look in Starscream's optics warranted. "Show me where to put my hands."

One hand in Starscream's hand, the other on his shoulder. Starscream's free hand settled on the corner under Megatron's arm, and Megatron immediately tensed, battle protocols quietly activating and rearranging his HUD, hyper-aware of the palm pressed to his side and the fingers against his back. And it occurred to him that, since he had left the mines, the only people who had touched his torso were either medics or enemies determined to kill him. The hand felt wrong. It felt dangerous.

Megatron's apprehension must have shown on his face—and an apprehensive-looking Megatron was a deadly-looking Megatron—because Starecream's smirk quickly shrank to nothing and he now looked rather like he was reconsidering this entire conversation. He could probably feel the heat of Megatron's cannon warm up next to his head. "... Sir?" He loosened his grip on Megatron's back.

Megatron tightened his grip on Starscream's shoulder, pulling him close enough that their chests nearly touched and the EM fields orbiting their sparks could brush against each other.

Perhaps Starscream had the body of a soldier, but he had the mind and spark of a politician—and a good politician, at that. If he ever decided he wanted to defeat Megatron, he wouldn't be doing it in single combat. Even a knife in the back mid-dance was too brazen an assault. Megatron had nothing to fear from the hand on his back.

It was the clever, smirking little mouth he had to watch out for. The mouth that turned day laborers into terrorist soldiers, that let cannon fodder walk confidently among senators, and that convinced miners to dance.

"You said you'll lead?" Megatron asked. "Then lead me."

Starscream's optics brightened. His grip tightened again. "As you command." He leaned forward, pressing his right knee into Megatron's left. "Everything I do, you do in reverse." Megatron stepped back with his left foot; Starscream's foot followed. "Just like that."

Megatron wasn't nearly as graceful as Starscream. But by the time the guns fell silent and the fires began to die down, Megatron had successfully learned how to dance from one side of the ballroom to the other.

He was far prouder of the ugly scuffs they left across the ballroom floor.

[keaalu]

Remember Me, chapter three

Title (chapter): Remember Me (03)

Series: Transformers, G1-based “Blue” AU

Rating: PG-13

Notes: In which Skywarp has to deal with a meltdown, and Screamer, what are you even doing still out in Vos, you ignorant glitch.

Down in the small station infirmary, Longbeam cut a particularly pathetic figure on the oversized berth. Her optics were back online, but dim, and her angular features looked strangely gaunt. An external pump fed a slow, steady drip of energon into her damaged primary circulation via a line just under the surface of her neck. At least she wasn’t bleeding any more – the place didn’t need to be covered in any more tiny bright purple crystals. Someone had found a coolant mantle to support her shattered fans, but it looked like it had been designed with Hardline in mind, covering her whole upper body like a poncho – and even that couldn’t quite hide the big carbonised semicircle of missing superstructure. It looked as if someone had taken a huge bite out of her midsection.

Vector sat beside her, her bike’s one remaining hand enclosed in both her own big ones. She looked torn between furious and terrified, optics blazing a vivid cyan. Her discordant field left the room feeling heavy, as though a thunderstorm were brewing somewhere close by.

Probably not too far off the mark, Skywarp figured, keeping back just enough to let the duty medic move around him. He stood quietly at the foot of the berth, arms folded tight over his emotions, still wearing his shields and covered in scuffs of someone else’s paint. Wouldn’t want to be a Conehead if the riotbot latched her claws into them.

Frag. Wouldn’t want to be a Conehead if I get my claws into them.

He’d been mid-arrest when the sudden cacophony of frightened messages on the police waveband turned Deixar’s atmosphere an electric blue. Knowing he was going to be more important here, he’d completely bypassed the custody sergeant and dumped his prisoner straight off in cells. (He knew he’d get flack for it later, but couldn’t bring himself to care, right now.)

Damage control was definitely not his forte, but maybe he could soften the blow a little when his wingmate finally made it back from Vos. The idea Thundercracker somehow hadn’t heard about the attack and Seem’s abduction, and hadn’t automatically extrapolated out to perhaps that would have meant Dash would have also gone missing…?

He just wasn’t sure what he was actually going to say. It was taking most of his limited brainpower to keep from storming the spacebridge and trying to fetch Slipstream back. Concentrating on being official and efficient was using enough processing power to keep him stable, and distract him from thinking too hard about what condition the youngling would be in when they finally tracked him down.

Spotweld was already hard at work, divided down the middle; while Weld was working on stabilising the bike, crimping off the final few lines still oozing fluids, it left Spot free to talk to the assembled crowd that had packed into the infirmary like mechanical sardines.

“We’ve got her stabilised, out of immediate danger. She’s crystallised off most of the damaged lines herself?” the polymorph confirmed. “But she’ll need to be moved to hospital as soon as we can get her there? We’re just waiting on Flatliner for transport. He should be here soon?”

“I’m sorry,” Longbeam wheezed, faintly, unable to manage much more than a few words at a time from her broken vocaliser. “I tried to get her away. They were quicker. I told her to hide but-… I couldn’t see her. I don’t know if they-… if they took her. Too damaged to look. I had to get back here. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay, Beemer,” Skywarp counselled, sitting on the urge to shout and vent frustrated heat. “Don’t stress out about it, right now. Don’t want you blowing any more fuses before you get the chance to give us your scan data, all right?”

“Sure, boss.” She squeezed out a huff of laughter that turned into a groan of pain. “Give you my scan data now. If you want it? Not like I can do-… much else, right now.”

“No you can’t,” Spot cut in, waggling a chastising finger. “I’m not having anyone go hunting for your upload connectors, you’re quite damaged enough already?”

“We need her data, Spots,” Skywarp reminded, leaning closer, wings pulled high and stiff. “We need to know how they got in, how they got out, and what other fraggery they might have got up to while our wings were turned.”

Spot failed to react to the implied threat in the jet’s pose, far too habituated to Seeker posturing to know the threat was mostly empty. “Well, you can wait for it? Like on any other case?”

“This isn’t any other case, Spots-!” Skywarp threw his hands up, frustrated, then caught the medic’s shoulder and forced the mech to turn and face him. “Did you miss the part where three fraggin’ Decepticons got into our airspace, totally unchallenged, managed to cause chaos then escape – with two victims! – before we could do a slagging thing about it?”

“No.” Spot refused to meet the hot crimson glare. “I also didn’t miss the part where Beemer is laying here in pieces because of a squabble over territory she didn’t need to be dragged into.”

The chastisement stung. Skywarp leaned in closer. “They’ve got Seem, in case you forgot,” he said, unable to keep the growl from his voice. “And probably Dash, too.”

“I know. Don’t try and act like you think I’m not worried about them?” Spot ducked under Skywarp’s arm, out of the way, to rejoin Weld; his two halves zipped carefully together, returning him into a mech that looked somewhat normal. “But it won’t help anyone if Beemer greys out on this table while we argue about what not she should be doing to help, right now?”

“Won’t be at hospital long,” Longbeam spoke up. “Gimme an orn or two. Back on my feet. I’ll help you hunt.”

Anyone with two cortical relays to rub together knew that was far from the truth – she’d be in hospital for a while, assuming the medical team didn’t decide it was safer and more straightforward to simply decant her spark into a completely new frame.

“Appreciate it.” Skywarp sighed, forced a smile, and patted her foot. “But I guess Spots is right. We need to get you fully repaired before you can do anything. Can’t have you chasing Coneheads if you’re still on the point of snapping in half.”

“They’re targeting you,” she said, softly. “Thought I was Pulse. Said to say ‘thanks’.”

“…did they tell you what they were up to-?”

“Hey.” Spotweld waved a daring finger in his face. “Not now.”

Skywarp batted the finger away, and opened his mouth to argue, but a ripple of disturbance out in the corridor (and approaching fast) preceded Thundercracker’s arrival.

Great.

The blue jet barged his way to the front of the room, fairly radiating alarm, knocking people out of the way with his wings. “Where’s Skydash?!”

Skywarp stepped in front of him, hands up, wings flaring subtly in an attempt to shield Spotweld’s patient from view. “It’s not a good idea for you to be here right now, TC. Come on, let’s go talk out there-”

Thundercracker tried to push past him, peering over his wings. “I-I heard we’d had- Ramjet? What were they doing here? And where is Dash?!” Then he clocked Longbeam. His optics visibly widened and his fans kicked into a higher gear. “What-what happened here…?”

Skywarp saw his wingmate’s legs wobbling and steered him hastily into a chair before he could end up in an unbecoming heap on his aft on the floor. For several seconds, Thundercracker could only cling to him, hands tight on his shoulders, concentrating on drawing cold air through his core.

“Coneheads?” he managed, at last. “Did-did they-… to Longbeam…?”

“Yeah, and yeah.” Skywarp stayed in a crouch, so his brother had something to lean against, and watched his gaze flash around the room, trying to take it all in. He underlaid his words with a soothing harmonic, hoping it might help keep Thundercracker stable. “We’re not sure what they came for, yet, except to cause trouble. We know they’ve got Seem.”

“And Dash?” Thundercracker finally looked down at him.

Skywarp kept up the subtle harmonic. No avoiding it now. “Yeah. We figure maybe they have Dash as well. Pulsar and her sibs are out checking where they were last seen, just to be sure she hasn’t hidden up in a crevice.”

“And you’re all just sitting here?” A flash of something ugly – a mixture of alarm and fear and outrage, and not all of it directed against the invaders – passed through the pale features, brightening the crimson optics. Thundercracker staggered halfway back to his thrusters. “We’ve got to get after them-! Why aren’t you chasing them?”

“Mech, they’re already through the spacebridge! What do you think you’re gonna be able to do except stroll into an ambush-?”

Skywarp leaned his weight back in a futile attempt to weigh Thundercracker down, but it didn’t have quite the desired effect; the blue jet pushed against him, unbalancing him, and used Skywarp’s inertia to vault himself over the teleport’s head. He lurched for the door, leaving his wingmate flat on his wings.

“Ah, slag.” Skywarp scrambled inelegantly back to his thrusters. Knowing he’d never catch him in a straight footrace, he teleported to just out past the doors, already bracing for the impact.

Thundercracker collided with him with such a crunch, it was a miracle neither broke anything. Both went sprawling on the floor of the foyer. “What the Pit, Skywarp-!”

Skywarp was back up first, arms open, ready to tackle his wingmate again if needed. Times like this made him appreciate the marginally increased physical capabilities that came with his riot gear. “Will you just… stop, for a second? Take it from the expert; you can’t go blundering off like this! Or do you want your head kicked in?”

“Since when do you tell me what I can and can’t do-?” Thundercracker rounded on him, fists swinging. “Just because you’re too pitfragged stupid to think up a plan doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around and wait for them to call all the shots-! Now get out of my way!”

Skywarp caught the oncoming fist easily, caging it in his own hand. “Fragging Primus, TC.” He used his bulk to force the blue Seeker back into the wall, and carefully pinned him there. “Can you even hear yourself, right now? This is exactly what they want us doing. Fighting each other, charging straight off into danger. They’re probably sat there on the other side of the bridge with a big fragging net, waiting for you.”

Thundercracker thrashed against the teleport’s superior strength, unable to get free. “At least I’m doing something, instead of sitting on my lazy aft waiting for someone else to come along and fix it for me, like always-!”

Skywarp had heard all the insults before – but it didn’t make them easier to hear coming from his brother. He pursed his lips, hurt, and leaned harder until Thundercracker finally stopped struggling.

For a few seconds, the only sound was the ragged cycling of two sets of fans. Even the little crowd of curious onlookers that had gathered, alarmed to see the district chief of police brawling with his wingmate in the foyer, had fallen silent.

“I’m not sitting on my aft,” Skywarp corrected, quietly. “I didn’t get here much before you. And I’m actually using my processors, for once. Which you seem to have forgotten you have, and in far greater quantity than me.”

Scorching air continued to vent from Thundercracker’s core, but the heat had begun to die out of his optics.

“D’you seriously think I’m still here for the fun of it?” Skywarp pushed his advantage. “They’ve got Seem. You’ve seen what they did to Longbeam, and she was only in their way. I can’t even imagine what they’re doing to the poor brat, right now. The frag will he look like when we get him back?”

“…let me go, Skywarp. You made your point.”

“You gonna leg it again, if I do? Because I don’t care what message it sends to the grunts, dude, I will cuff you to a chair if I have to.”

Thundercracker’s features tightened in a small, subtly humiliated glare, but he shook his head. “I have control. You can let me go. Thank you.”

Warily, senses still on high alert, Skywarp carefully unpeeled his fingers from around his wingmate’s wrists, and stepped back from him.

Good to his word – and knowing Skywarp wasn’t a mech prone to false promises – Thundercracker didn’t immediately bolt. “You better have a good plan.”

Skywarp visibly sagged. “Primus, I wish. You were right on one count; I’m not smart enough to come up with something on my own.” He spread his arms and half-shooed Thundercracker back towards the privacy of the medical suite. “I’m stuck on whether we’ve got any course of action that doesn’t involve probable suicide. Or having to beg help off the Autobots, which we seriously need to avoid because Primus, it’ll all go direct to the smelter if we get them involved.”

Spotweld had finished preparing Longbeam for her trip to the hospital; the clear plastic sheath protected the injury from dust, but not prying optics. Finally getting a good look, Thundercracker winced and looked away.

Longbeam finally let the mask slip; her carefully-stoic features creased and her fingers began to tremble. “I’m sorry, sir. It was my fault. I thought I was fast enough.” A flicker of static crept into her voice. “I’m sorry-!”

Still silent, Vector gathered her up off the berth, and tucked her up against her broad chassis. She cast a frustrated/pleading look to the two Seekers, although Skywarp couldn’t quite tell if it was meant to say catch the slaggers that did this or please don’t be angry with her.

“Don’t,” Thundercracker said, simply. “Going against those three, I don’t-… Thank you for making the effort.” He managed to drag his gaze away from the bike’s sickening injury, and made an effort to straighten up and look professional. “What about you, anyway, Warp? Holding up all right?”

The teleport forced a grin. “Seem’s a survivor. He's got out of worse scrapes.”

Thundercracker clapped him on the shoulder. “If there was anyone I'd trust to be kidnapped with her...” His words broke. “Primus.” He covered his face with one shaking hand.

Skywarp guided him back into the same chair that had saved his dignity a breem or two before, and crouched next to it, offering his wings for Thundercracker to lean against; the blue jet didn’t need to be invited twice, sagging into him. “It’ll be fine,” he murmured, folding his brother’s hand into his own. “They'll be too busy wrangling my brat to hurt Dashie.”

“She wanted to come, I-I should have taken her-”

“Hey, quit that. Don’t you even start trying to blame yourself for this, I mean Primus.”

From somewhere outside came the questioning uuu-whup? of Flatliner’s siren; Spotweld went out to meet him.

Unfortunately the duty medic wasn’t the only one to have spotted the ambulance’s arrival.

“Hey, Flatso? What are you doing here?”

Skywarp groaned inwardly at hearing his sparkling’s voice, out in the hallway.

“Ah, Footsie. Right on time. Officer injured on duty, I’m taking them to hospital. I could do with a hand, if you’re free.”

“Really? I hope it’s not Seem, haha.” Footloose voiced a nervous giggle, following him in. “Useless glitch vanished off-district without telling me he was going anywhere, and he was meant to be sparksitting.”

“Not to my knowledge, no. Patient is a bike.”

The small flier stopped in the doorway, looking baffled for an instant, confused by why half her family were already crowded into the room. “Oh, hey? Does anyone here know why my idiot twin just fell off the registroh slag!” Finally spotting her aunt, Footloose leaped backwards and collided with the wall, covering her mouth with both hands. “Onnie?! What-what-”

Giving Thundercracker one last quick wingbump and a hasty apology, Skywarp turned to his sparkling with his hands out. “Hey, spark. You really didn’t ought to be here.” Right, because that worked so well on TC.

Her shaking thrusters skittered across the floor, scooting out from under her and dropping her gracelessly to her aft. “What hap-happened? Primus! Where’s Seem? Is-is he hurt as-as well?” Her vocaliser skipped. “Primus-! Is this why I can’t see-see him any more? Where is he?!”

“We don’t know exactly where he is, but we’re pretty sure he’s all right.” Skywarp took both her hands into his own and wasn’t entirely surprised when Footloose launched herself bodily into his arms, vibrating in distress. “We think he’s been taken to Earth-”

“Take-taken? Taken by who?”

“By Ramjet’s trine.”

“C-coneheads?” Her fans stuttered harder. “Like-… you mean Dirge?”

“Yeah. Exactly like Dirge. They’ve got your bro, and we think they’ve got Dash. We’re figuring out what to do. But it’ll be fine. We’ll sort it out. All right?”

“But-but-… Dash? I was meant to take-… I swapped with Seem. We swapped! I had-… emergency, I couldn’t-…” She spotted Thundercracker in the chair; her fans hitched and her words got even more disjointed. “I’m sorry-… oh, Primus, I’m sorry! It’s my fault. I swapped with him!”

She hurled herself across the room and into the blue Seeker’s lap like a miniature freightliner, sobbing staticky apologies. After a second of startled immobility, he opened his arms and let her hug him.

Skywarp vented a sigh and folded his arms. Trust Footloose – now she’d started bawling, it was setting everyone else off, including TC. (The poor mech had had a decent grip on his emotions until the wee spark had shown up, but now both of them were incoherent. Primus.)

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Leaving his family self-destructing in the infirmary, Skywarp teleported up to the roof, where it didn’t feel like the full weight of every machine in there was packed on top of his wings.

Now what, world?

Never a good sign when he was expected to be the emotionally-responsible one.

And where the Pit was his fragheaded wingleader, anyway?!

-screamer, where are you-

-in vos. why?-

-vos? still?- Skywarp covered his face with both hands and allowed himself the luxury of a long, hot sigh of stressed exhaust. It didn’t make him feel remotely better. -so, you deaf or just stupid?-

A stinging, wordless obscenity immediately came back, followed in short order by the sort of scathing remark that usually signalled a communications shutdown. -figures you wouldn’t understand the importance of this-

-did you not hear what’s going on back here-

-evidently not. what is going on-

He realised Starscream probably actually didn’t know. Thundercracker would have got the signal by merit of being chief of police, but if he hadn’t said anything before racing back to Deixar?

-coneheads, star. they attacked beemer, took seem and dash. already back through spacebridge-

There was a long pause. -on my way. don’t let anyone get near comms-

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 13: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And uh, you're wearing my corpse which is you know, horrifying.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs.

O: Today we're gonna be talking about episode number 13: The Ultimate Doom, part 3.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yup, yup, yup.

O: So, last time on the Transformers--evil Shaggy has amassed an army of evil mind controlled slaves, Megatron succeeded in bringing Cybertron into Earth's orbit and Sparkplug has betrayed his own son.

S: We open as we closed last time with a Spike, Bumblebee, and Brawn on Cybertron confronting a mind-controlled Sparkplug...who has alerted the Decepticons to their presence.

O: They attempt an escape.

S: Badly!  Super fucking badly!

O: [laughter] With Bumblebee running headfirst into Shockwave’s knees.

S: This poor boy does not look before he leaps!

O: No, no that's Cliffjumper’s job!

S: True.

O: Anyway, Brawn gets the brilliant idea to try to escape this using the oldest trick in the book.

S: Pretending to be peddlin’ some shit.

O: To Shockwave!

S: Yeah, magazines I think?  I don’t know.

O: Something like that.

S: Soundwave, Thundercracker, and Skywarp also enter the room.

O: Brawn further earns my ire by shooting Soundwave at point-blank range and calling him tall, dark, and gruesome.  How dare you insult my Big Blue Boy you bastard!?!

S: Sparkplug blocks the oddly tiny door to keep them from escaping.  I mean...okay?

O: But seriously--I'm pretty sure Shockwave would have to crawl to be able to use this exit!

S: I'm just gonna go with they're probably--they probably just fucked up perspective.

O: Probably, but that’s not what it looked like.  Like--it looked like it was about like um, Sparkplug’s height or something or not that much taller than him?

S: Yeah, well this show makes no sense sometimes so let's--let's ignore that for now.  Shockwave shoots Brawn.

O: YAY!

S: But then Skyfire, Trailbreaker and Wheeljack show up to save their sorry butts.

O: I mean also yay, but mostly just because Wheeljack and Skyfire are there now.

S: And they’re cool dudes.

O: I like them both.

S: The tiny door is apparently a bother to no one but Skyfire, so I'm going with yeah, probably stupid perspective stuff.  Uh, Shockwave unintentionally provides him with a hole big enough to escape through by shooting at him and then blowing up the wall instead because they all went to the goddamn stormtrooper school of shooting.

O: Well that the poor guy only has one optic.  I mean are we gonna pull a Futurama here and say he's got no depth perception and can't shoot worth shit?

S: Yes, but the thing is it's easier to--actually no, let’s just not get into that.

O: No, no let's not go into that.  The Autobots escape, exploding Thundercracker and Starscream in the process, apparently.  I'm pretty sure both of them are on Earth and that these are just random other seekers but whatever.

S: Probably random--random dudes, just reused color schemes, yeah.  They regroup at Wheeljack’s old lab, which the Decepticons--uh, the Decepticons miss this and like, drive right past.

O: So it turns out that Bumblebee picked up a giant ass CD while in the Decepticon headquarters that just so happens to show the chip behind Sparkplug’s ear.

S: And cut to more robots...surfing.

O: ROBOTS SURFING ON SURFBOARDS!

S: And Optimus is just bracketed on both sides by Ironhide and Ratchet.  Cuz, of course he's gotta have the two matching dudes like--

O: Of course!

S: --like, ugh, I forget the word...flanking him!

O: A giant tidal wave comes up from behind and Bluestreak (somehow) pulls ahead of the group while freaking out about its eminent arrival.

S: Of course he does.  I don't know, he's got super panic powers.

O: [laughs] The powers of panic!  So clearly what you're telling me is Bluestreak and Shaggy run on the same ability.

S: I guess, yeah.  Optimus says to maintain speed and if they stay out in front of the wave they'll get there faster?

O: I don't see thrusters on those surfboards. Optimus, this is not how surfboards work, thank you!

S: I mean maybe there's something underwater that we don't see, but who the hell knows.

O: I still don't think that's how this works.

S: I don't know!  Evil Shaggy has got his slaves working on a “sea funnel,” to route the tidal wave’s energy and create Energon.  He warns Starscream that the structure isn't strong enough and that the humans will die.  Do the robots care?

O: [laughs] Apparently not. Anyway, Megatron throws a generator at Starscream, like, after this conversation and orders him to install it.  And this thing definitely changes sizes between shots, uh, cuz when Megatron's holding it it looks huge and then it is much smaller when Starscream catches it.

S: They're just...they're--they’re dumb magic robots.

O: I--clearly sigh--like, I didn't know Megatron's mass shifting abilities, uh, affected the things he was holding but apparently they do!

S: Apparently.

O: Megatron looks really off in the scene?

S: It looks like there were smaller drawings that were enlarged and Xeroxed to shit, because yeah--the--the line quality is kind of terrible

O: Yeah, like think--you know, you--if you've seen a Disney movie you have seen Xerox, uh, a lot of the ones that did this were 101 Dalmatians and like, Sword in the Stone.  Um, they don't look terrible but there's definitely a noticeable quality drop and if you do it and you take a really small image and make it really big you get a lot of noise in the lines which is exactly what happened here.  Megatron tells Dr. Evil to stay away from Starscream.  He proceeds to ignore this.

S: Megatron actually gave you some good damn advice and you ignore it and still pursue the two-bit hussy another Starscream.

O: He is. [laughter]

S: He really is.

O: Apparently Rumble’s visor can freaking pop out and work like binoculars!?!

S: It's like Bender’s eyes--his--

O: Yeah.  Yeah.

S: His x-ray vision.

O: [laughter] “I'll use my robot x-ray vision look in this box!” [sound effect]

S: Yeah, [sighs] and the first time a wave hits and works as expected generating Energon.

O: Then the second tidal wave, the one the Autobots are actually in front of approaches.  Megatron seems nonplussed by this as he expects the Autobots will likely be crushed.  Uh, “This is bad!,” yeah, no shit Optimus!

S: Understatement of the century!

O: The Autobots however are perfectly fine despite being slammed in this of the sea tunnel.

S: Funnel.

O: Funnel, whoops! [laughter]

S: Most of the humans are also perfectly fine even though the sea funnel was destroyed on impact and it's like--

O: Everybody’s just sort of lying around I think the Autobots are like, gathering people up or something?

S: Maybe, like, there's a lot of wreckage.

O: I don't think they should be alive!

S: Yeah.  Uh, evil Shaggy was apparently also there when this happened, or here when it happened and is now holding on to a girder for dear life dangling over the water.

O: He is screaming for Megatron the entire time he's dangling by the way. [laughter]

S: Yeah...Starscream does his best Kraken impression as he arises from the depths and grabs Dr. Evil, sort of rescuing him but I don't really feel like it was much of a rescue.

O: It’s Starscream, are you really safe when you’re with Starscream?  The answer is no.  We see the other Decepticons escape and yet another spaceship.

S: When did they even have time to build this? Where do they get the resources?

O: Your guess is as good as mine.  So once on the ship they say they've gathered enough Energon to revitalize Cybertron according to Reflector, or one of the Reflectors.  A Reflector of some sort.

S: Yeah, back on Cybertron Wheeljack reports to Optimus about their progress.

O: We see Spike attempting to sneak into the Decepticon base again and then he's caught in Shockwave’s spotlight?

S: His monoboob spotlight.

O: It’s purple!

S: [sighs] The Decepticons just fucking love purple.

O: [snorts]

S: I mean it’s, yeah.  He’s also flanked by what appears to be two Skywarps.

O: One of them will mysteriously turn green and a later shot though.

S: Yaaaaay, for inconsistent coloring.  Spike is captured and Sparkplug yet again tells him to join the dark side.

O: “Spike, I am your father!” [laughter]

S: Shockwave orders Sparkplug to kill Spike but Sparkplug fights his mind control.

O: The Autobots show up and Wheeljack uses his new super secret special machine to break the control on Sparkplug.

S: And it's time for hugging and making up and then more escape attempts ensue in the firefight.

O: I would like to take the time to remind you that Spike is voiced by Corey Burton.  Shockwave is also voiced by Corey Burton.  So in this scene Corey Burton is yelling at Corey Burton--a recursive loop of Corey Burton, if you will.

S: Wheeljack calls for um, air support and then Skyfire drops the fuck in to pick the Autobots and their humans up to go back to Earth.

O: Sparkplug thanks all the Autobots for their help, now that you know, he's no longer evil.

S: Yay for not being evil.  We cut to Earth and oh no, it’s...Cliffjumper time.  Cliffjumper is here again.

O: However, apparently Optimus’s authority is enough to hold off the little idiot from doing something stupid immediately.

S: Which is kind of a refreshing change.

O: Yeah, right?  Normally it's--I'm gonna do something real stupid, I'm gonna punch Megatron in nads, I'm gonna--what else did he do?  Oh!  I'm gonna shoot Megatron over here from cover where I'm protected this is fine.

S: I'm going to shoot this rock formation that sort of looks like a Decepticon but it is definitely not actually a Decepticon and cause a rockslide.

O: Uh-huh, and almost kill Optimus or Ironhide or whoever was standing there.

S: Yeah, and then whatever the heck he and-- well no he's not the one that uh, rode Soundwave for a while that was Brawn.

O: That was Brawn.  Brawn's already on my shit list but for completely different reasons.

S: [laughter] Okay, um, let's get back to--to business.  Mirage uses his invisibility to sneak closer.  Elsewhere, Starscream is not even attempting to be subtle--complaining that he'll never be able to take over the Decepticons without his own Energon source to Dr. Evil.

O: Starscream, has absolutely no situational awareness.  Megatron is literally standing right behind him. [Questionable Megatron impression] “That's mutiny Starscream!”  Yeah, no shit my good dude.

S:Megatron was apparently going to blast Starscream but is called away by an emergency.  Starscream takes this moment to retreat.

O: Never retreat my ass Screamer, you retreated so many times--yet you keep saying that, in battle, that you never retreat.

S: Maybe he only considers it retreat if he's actually fighting the Decepticons, who know--

O: You mean Autobots?

S: Autobots, oh god, yes.

O: I mean…possibly?

S: Who the hell knows?  The writing’s inconsistent and no one does anything that makes sense.  Back with the ship Mirage reveals himself after doing exactly nothing, [suppressed laughter] by sneaking on board the ship as Optimus and the rest reveal themselves immediately after.

O: He couldn’t have, I don't know--shot Megatron at close range or something!?!  I am aware Megatron clearly has pretty thick armor but he didn't do anything!

S: The jets attack the Autobots, it's really not effective, at all.

O: The Autobots and Decepticons then return fire at each other with Prowl suggesting a retreat but--as they are outnumbered.

S: But, lo!  Skyfire descends from on high to deliver reinforcements.

O: And I swear Wheeljack does some sexy poses as he shoots his anti mind control beam from above.

S: We got--we got photo evidence.

O: Yes, yes we do.

S: Yeah.  The remaining humans flee as their control is broken.  There's some like, weird perspective stuff here again and it just looks really silly.

O: Megs is pissed about losing his prisoners with jobs.

S: Oh, those prisoners my jobs.

O: [laughter]

S: I feel like Megatron would get along well with that dude [the Grandmaster].

O: I don't know if he would, actually.

S: Actually, yeah you're right you probably wouldn't but he'd probably be really...I don't know.

O: I feel like you would be ok with him for precisely two seconds until Jeff Goldblum opened his mouth.

S: I could, I could see that.  Though Starscream and Loki would probably--

O: Oh, Starscream when Loki would get along like a house on fire!  Definitely!

S: Lots of screaming and flames and backstabbing.  Then he um, then transforms and fires at Skyfire.

O: You know what? I stand corrected.  I think this entire time I have been under the impression he could not fire himself.  Please insert your own joke--something, something, jerking off, something.

S: Skyfire lands and transforms to join the fray.

O: He says to, “Save Megatron for me!”

S: Why are you so damn gung-ho about this, you're a scientist!?!  You declared you're a scientist multiple times!

O: [laughter] I like fanfic where he’s a pacifist, cause that makes so much more sense in my head.  We cut to Rumble who is pulling his normal stunt of EARTHQUAKES!  In an attempt to attack Bee.

S: Bee takes one look at the crevice that appears and says, “Not again!”

O: Not unlike a pot full of petunias.

S: He then proceeds to grab a vine and Tarzan the shit out of Rumble into the ravine of his own creation.

O: Back with the sexual tension! I mean back with Megatron and Optimus.  They exchange words but Megs boards his ship and flees, leaving everyone else to die in the approaching tidal wave...another approaching tidal wave, apparently.

S: There are many of this--there are many in this show, everything's just super fucked up.  And Spike gives the bots a pep talk as he grabs yet another Cybertronian weapon.  So gung-ho to help--this kid grabs so many weapons.

O: He does.

S: He must have incredible upper-body strength cuz these are like, as big as he is.

O: I'm convinced that’s why Carly married him.  There is no other reason why she shoulda hit that.

S: The fact that she’s--we'll get into it--

O: We'll get into Carly later, Carly is lovely.

S: Yeah.  Carly is great.  Prowl reaches the conclusion that it would take an explosion equivalent to ten billion astro liters to knock Cybertron out of Earth’s orbit.

O: What the fuck is an astro liter!?!  I hate all of you.  Hate, I say!

S: The thing is astro liter doesn't even make sense as...like, a measurement for an explosion because people don't measure explosions in fucking liters.

O: I don’t know, man!  [laughter]

S: [sighs] God... the Autobots get a brilliant idea to blow up Megatron’s starship to cause said explosion because apparently that--okay?

O: They do this, and it does indeed knock Cybertron out of Earth's orbit.

S: It just fucking yeets it out of the orbit.

O: Pretty much.  This makes the huge incoming tidal wave disappear immediately.

S: That’s not how those work.  That’s not how those WORKKK!  [groans]

O:  None of the tidal waves in  this episode have worked properly.  I think we can safely say that.  So Specs, you remember that huge, huge explosion, the one that knocked Cybertron out of orbit?  Megatron lived through that!  You know what?  That's it, I yield, you clearly are invincible, sir!

S: Yep, he's just floating around in space a bit dinged up, but otherwise perfectly fine looking.

O: He flies home even!  [laughter] He’s perfectly fine!  Anyway--

S: He’s the goddamn Terminator.

O: He is the goddamn Terminator!  Join us next time for, “Countdown to Extinction!”  Starscream attempts to blow up Earth, destroy Megatron, and take over Cybertron--all in one day!

S: He's an ambitious little fucker I'll give him that.

O: Indeed! So Specs, what is our fanfic for today?

S: Okay, today we have two selections.  The first is, “And There Was Much to Learn,” by ilyena_sylph and Merfilly.  Continuity-wise, this one is G1 cartoon, it's rated G, uh, it is slash fiction.  Our pairings here are Skyfire and Starscream and our characters are Skyfire and Starscream.  It's very Skyfire and Starscream.

O: Yes.

S: I think you've noticed.

O: [laughter]

S: And so, in summary:  Five moments from Skyfire’s ever puzzling relationship with Starscream.  And basically the character theme rec for this episode--or this piece of fan fiction is, Starscream and science because science…

O: [laughter] Science!  Do you need another reason?  No, you don't--it's science!

S: Well, science is the I guess, the common thread between the two of them that I have for today, so science, lots of science.  And to move on to our second recommendation, uh, “Faith in Science.”  I said there was science!

O: There is indeed more science.

S: The author here for, “Faith in Science,” is Merfilly.  Continuity-wise this one is also G1 cartoon, it's rated G, it's gen.  Pairings--there aren't any.  Characters: Wheeljack, Ratchet, Megatron, Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Perceptor, Prowl, and Beachcomber--more or less in order of their appearance.

O: Fair.

S: And so in summary, “ Wheeljack began in a laboratory but the Autobots need him for his unique scientific bent.”

O: Which I’m assu--I'm assuming is explosions.

S: Yes.

O: The answer is yes.

S: At least from what I remember?  I read this a few weeks back and it's like, yes there's explosions involved and like, yeah, blowing shit up and making weapons.  Uh, so yeah, this one theme for it is again, science, lots of science!

O: But with Wheeljack!

S: Yes, and that's it for fanfiction recommendations.  Do we have fanart recommendations?

O: Yes, we do!  Alright, so today's fanart recommendation is--so they do not appear to have any other accounts than their Tumblr which is what I'm going to use, which is Se--

S:  sekitei88?

O: We’ll go with that.

S: Is at least how I would guess?

O: That's what I'm gonna go with, um, you can find them on tumblr I am not aware of other accounts, if I find them before we post this I will post that as well.  They tend to do a variety of things but I picked all of their Beast Wars stuff because I love Beast Wars and this one in fact, has a lot of Dinobot!  Yay!  So some of my--they actually have done some of my favorite Beast Wars fanart particularly fluffy feathered Megatron and Dinobot, yes!

Ah, so the three that I have picked as recommendations are quite literally fluffy Dinobot and Megatron, which is--it is, it's delightful. Uh, they also did--okay, so there’s an episode later in the series where Grimlock is in an apron and a bowtie serving drinks.  This hap--is a thing that will happen and it is literally adorable and they basically, the next two pieces of fan art they did that silly apron thing with uh, Megatron and Dinobot II for Beast Wars and then in the third piece they did it with a Grimlock from Robots in Disguise.  It is delightful, I recommend it, and I have a lot of fun with their art. [laughter]

S: Is it fluffy as in pairing fluffy or they are fluffy as in they are fluffy dinosaurs?

O: Oh, no, no, no, they actually have feathers like, they are--they're physically fluffy. not that they’re--it's not relationship-esque stuff, though you probably could read it that way.

S: Feathery Dinobot looks very nice.

O: it's just a really nice fanart of it honestly.

S: Like, I think you threw pictures--I think you threw the pictures at me.

O: I probably sent you the pictures--I actually have them.

S: Yes, yes, you tossed that at me!  You literally linked those to me.

O: I know I did because I was just like these are amazing! But that’s--

S: [laughter]

O: Oh, I’m sorry he's a dragon. I don't know if I said T-Rex or not um, in that?

S: Aw, I like it.

O: I like it too.  Eh, I like Grim--Grimsy’s probably my favorite character in Robots in Disguise even though it makes no sense because there's literally two Grimlocks running around in Aligned, but I’m not gonna get into that right now.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark[-]Podcast for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and  Youtube just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

[verdigrisprowl]

Feb 7 CAH @ Soundwave's Bar

Primus came, and proved he was Primus. Everyone flipped out a little. Several people were very angry. It probably didn't help that Primus kept making out with Astrotrain.

Prowl actually handled it pretty well. He completely skipped past all questions of theology and morality and started questioning the thermodynamics of spark production.

Soundwave won the first game; Primus won the second game; Prowl won the third game.

[7:42:29 PM] You have joined the game. [7:44:01 PM] thenightetc has joined the game. [7:44:16 PM] Shockbox has joined the game. [7:44:39 PM] *well, the group WAS great. and then shockwave showed up.* [7:44:47 PM] ((Hello, hello. Will start in another 6-11 minutes.)) [7:45:07 PM] Airachnid has joined the game. [7:45:31 PM] *In the meantime, Soundwave is still pulling things out from under the bar and placing them up top with his feelers while still adding chairs with his hands.* [7:45:32 PM] ((Is this, how do I put it, strictly IC, or can anyone join?)) [7:45:37 PM] *don't worry dad he'll protect you* [7:45:43 PM] *He just came out here to have a good time* [7:45:59 PM] ((TheNight, consider yourself here by holo with Frenzy as helper.)) [7:46:09 PM] ((Awesome, thanks!)) [7:46:36 PM] ((its IC but relatively for-fun yeah, all are welcome)) [7:47:02 PM] [Almost debated dragging my warbird in here. ouo] [7:47:20 PM] BetterStarscream has joined the game. [7:47:32 PM] ((Cool, I just didn't want to step on any toes by ignoring the etiquette.)) [7:47:48 PM] *Pings all around for those joining so far* [7:48:08 PM] *Except you, Getaway.* [7:48:17 PM] *didnt want your stinky ping anyway~* [7:48:21 PM] [sneaking in quietly] [7:48:45 PM] *Small chuckle from the wall where he was relaxing until the game started* [7:48:45 PM] *FLOUNCES in* [7:48:47 PM] *ooh, does tara get a ping too? he's faintly giggling at the wall he graffiti'd a while back* [7:49:05 PM] *ew, why Starscream AND Shockwave. gross.* [7:49:12 PM] *Flounces is a good word.* [7:49:14 PM] *waves and eye-smiles at the Boss* [7:49:20 PM] *but Prowl is here! that's good.* [7:49:26 PM] *To be fair, the /host/ is a soundwave.* [7:49:28 PM] Heya, Prowl! [7:49:30 PM] *Soundwave glances at the Starscream. That's... is that the one from-- okay, Ravage is nodding.* [7:50:09 PM] [she expected Shockwave, but still not happy about it] [7:50:19 PM] *nods to everyone who's greeted him. it's a very versatile nod.* [7:50:20 PM] And Soundwave, Bug, Getaway. [7:50:39 PM] *the host may be a Soundwave but he's not a DECEPTICON gosh* [7:51:01 PM] #hello! [7:51:14 PM] *Glances at Prowl. Will try to not get into arguments this time around. Will probably fail* [7:51:27 PM] *glances at Starscream* ... If I'd known YOU were going to be here, I would have asked for a ride. [7:51:48 PM] Hey, Ratchet. *casual wave without straightening in his seat* [7:51:57 PM] (( Ah, crap, actually...I should be doing some homework I forgot. Maybe I'll join a later game. )) [7:52:04 PM] (( Brb, in the case that I rejoin at some point. )) [7:52:08 PM] ((Ah! Okay. Good luck with homework.)) [7:52:11 PM] ((ok, good luck dude)) [7:52:25 PM] ((ARE WE READY?)) [7:52:28 PM] ((good luck. homework fast.)) [7:52:33 PM] ((I am so ready.)) [7:52:38 PM] ye)) [7:53:00 PM] *takes seat. with helper card-wrangler Rumble.* [7:53:28 PM] Oh? [7:53:42 PM] ...ah, yes, this IS your strange club, isn't it? [7:53:48 PM] Shockbox has left the game. [7:53:56 PM] *Does Soundwave need anything he could provide before the game begins?* [7:54:02 PM] *on the periphery, playing it as lowkey as he can. i.e. not very* [7:54:11 PM] "Strange club"? [7:54:28 PM] *gestures at the collection of people* What else do you call this motley assortment? [7:54:31 PM] *Soundwave doesn't need anything, but he might silently request the spot next to Prophet.* [7:54:34 PM] [[His guests.]] [7:54:45 PM] *there's a seat next to prowl, Tarantulas. hint. hint hint.* [7:54:54 PM] *TAKEN.* [7:55:00 PM] *Of course* [7:55:01 PM] Until the games are over, *I* call them the enemy. [7:55:07 PM] *well now where is Ratchet going to sit* [7:55:18 PM] All right, everyone. Impress me. [7:55:41 PM] *prowl has two neighboring seats. has the other one been claimed?* [7:55:45 PM] Bruin has joined the game. [7:55:52 PM] *there's probably a spot next to the spide, ratch~* [7:55:55 PM] ((getaway mightve taken it but nbd)) [7:55:56 PM] *If not, Soundwave's taking it before Getaway can.* [7:56:06 PM] *that's not going to happen, spide* [7:56:14 PM] [at this point she'll take whatever spot's available] [7:56:26 PM] Heh. [7:56:28 PM] *god damn it, Soundwave NOW where is Ratchet going to sit* [7:56:30 PM] ((fight for the honor of sitting next to prowl \o/)) [7:56:35 PM] *snrk* How dramatic. And you always attend these.. gatherings while incorporeal? [7:56:42 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:56:48 PM] I certainly don't attend them corporeally. [7:57:12 PM] Error: Error communicating with server. Will try again in 0.5 seconds. [7:57:41 PM] Used to. [7:57:41 PM] *Already silently laughing. Also, Ravage parks himself behind Airachnid.* [7:57:42 PM] *and YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIS DAD* [7:57:48 PM] *BACK WHEN PROWL COULD GO PLACES* [7:57:51 PM] Hurry up! You have less than 10 seconds to decide, or you will be skipped. [7:58:00 PM] *hey, Starscream didn't arrest him.* [7:58:04 PM] Prowl was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [7:58:05 PM] ((the game froze ;;)) [7:58:05 PM] *Takes a seat that may of may not of existed near Prowl beforehand to let Soundwave have the middle one* [7:58:07 PM] *he just keeps him in jail* [7:58:17 PM] ((his avatar glitched)) [7:58:27 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [7:58:28 PM] *PROWL'S AVATAR GLITCHED. who is at fault* [7:58:36 PM] Play 3 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:58:38 PM] *blames soundwave* [7:58:45 PM] D: {{Sorry! Sorry. Bird bumped projector.}} [7:59:38 PM] :T If I didn't know better, I'd suspect you're trying to prevent me from gaining an early lead. [7:59:42 PM] Pffft. I wonder why I haven't been petitioned to let you slip your leash, then. [7:59:46 PM] *silently judges soundwave's avatar projection system if it can be bumped like that* [8:00:02 PM] Because I'm a model prisoner, obviously. [8:00:27 PM] *It's spread across the club and mobile so it can serve other purposes, thank you. She just hit one of them.* [8:00:52 PM] *Snerks at the cards* [8:01:22 PM] Error: Error communicating with server. Will try again in 0.5 seconds. [8:01:39 PM] Getaway wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:01:52 PM] One for me~ [8:01:56 PM] You [8:02:03 PM] 're welcome [8:02:06 PM] *meh* [8:02:25 PM] *right back at you, weirdo* [8:02:25 PM] [[Three of these are very deadly.]] [8:02:28 PM] *snorts at the Metrotitan card* [8:02:37 PM] *Is so going to be judged for this* [8:02:37 PM] [squints at the card] [8:02:57 PM] Airachnid wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:03:07 PM] *Covers his face with a wing* [8:03:15 PM] *Amused bob* [8:03:23 PM] *would have chosen death by metrotitan sex as well* [8:03:36 PM] [she doesn't care, she got a point] [8:03:57 PM] ... Admittedly, it's only fatal if you don't adequately prepare first. [8:04:07 PM] Error: Error communicating with server. Will try again in 0.5 seconds. [8:04:25 PM] *snorts out of his cheek vents* [8:04:25 PM] [chuckles at the thought of the Ratchet card] [8:04:25 PM] [[What is wrong with his seldom used shoulder cannon?]] [8:04:25 PM] That'd be a cute halloween costume. [8:04:25 PM] ..... [8:04:27 PM] *You played that, didn't you.* [8:04:29 PM] ((i keep getting server communication errors)) [8:04:30 PM] *Lowers his wing back down and gets comfortable in his chair* [8:04:41 PM] (( 8( )) [8:04:51 PM] ((Try hopping out and back in?)) [8:04:53 PM] Getaway wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:04:54 PM] ..so many of them are mechs. [8:05:07 PM] ((I think it's my internet)) [8:05:24 PM] ((and yeah we've got a lot of name cards. maybe next time mix in some more normal decks?)) [8:05:25 PM] Thanks, Boss. *winks and takes his card* [8:05:25 PM] ((Aww...)) [8:05:25 PM] [[ ugh, my cards are staying in my hand after i play them... ]] [8:05:39 PM] ...*salty about being card czar for THIS card of all cards :')* [8:05:49 PM] ((I added more normal decks ;; I'll find tack in a few more on the game after this)) [8:06:22 PM] ((rn every single card except one is a TF card. and I'm not sure about the one.)) [8:06:33 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:06:34 PM] ((could just be an unlucky draw)) [8:06:49 PM] ((that's been consistent for the new cards I'm getting too.)) [8:06:53 PM] *ugh. froid.* [8:06:55 PM] Skywarp has joined the game. [8:07:08 PM] (i have some names but some not...) [8:07:30 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:07:38 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:07:42 PM] *chokes* [8:07:43 PM] *Glances at Soundwave* [8:07:52 PM] *that was just a lucky draw* [8:07:53 PM] [[...What.]] [8:07:57 PM] ((im dying save me) [8:07:59 PM] *It was a blank~* [8:08:11 PM] ((...are there decks specifically from our rps here lmao i saw flobsters)) [8:08:18 PM] [you should look at her, she picked it] [8:08:22 PM] ((flobsters are actually a thing! [8:08:23 PM] ((flobsters are canon)) [8:08:40 PM] ((WHAT)) [8:08:41 PM] [Yup!] [8:08:46 PM] ((we stole them from Rescue Bots)) [8:08:51 PM] in REscue Bots friendo)) [8:08:52 PM] ((oh thats right)) [8:08:53 PM] [Dude even has a pet Flobster in Rescue Bots. :3] [8:09:12 PM] thenightetc was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [8:10:01 PM] ((oh gosh [8:10:12 PM] There's a lot of cards here about Orion Pax, huh. [8:10:12 PM] (( these are beautiful [8:10:15 PM] ((you have TWO starscream cards to choose from)) [8:10:21 PM] Ratchet wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:10:21 PM] ((of course screamy gets this black card )) [8:10:24 PM] *immediately claps hand over mouth. gdi ratchet* [8:10:27 PM] I expected trine loyalty, Screamer. [8:10:39 PM] :3c [8:10:46 PM] *None of these make sense* [8:10:54 PM] Anonimity levels the playing feild for poor humor choices. [8:11:04 PM] ((sorry the super long desc of Orion Pax got me. I had to)) [8:11:15 PM] -grumbles- [8:11:37 PM] [[But then NOTHING.]] [8:11:51 PM] ... I am glad I'm not drinking anything right now. [8:11:59 PM] Oh oh dear [8:12:11 PM] All of these sound plausible to me. [8:12:13 PM] Getaway wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:12:13 PM] The second to last one... what. [8:12:16 PM] Heh. Problem, Soundwave? [8:12:26 PM] *how does one feed a breast* [8:12:31 PM] [[Yes. But you haven't done anything worth phasing you into the wall over yet.]] [8:12:38 PM] *making a comeback* [8:12:42 PM] spacebus has joined the game. [8:12:52 PM] ((By asking shockwave to come over and demonstrate)) [8:13:02 PM] ! [8:13:03 PM] [chirrup at new guest] [8:13:04 PM] *not sure how to appeal to czar skywarp. chose the dumbest card possible.* [8:13:08 PM] *A choochoo has joined* [8:13:23 PM] *While holding Prowl's cards* //Damn right I'm blue.// [8:13:26 PM] [[ i'm gonna have to refresh at some point gdi it's getting hard to keep track of which cards i've already played. also, i can't read my cards. ]] [8:13:30 PM] *too many cons here for his liking* [8:13:31 PM] Prowl wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:13:35 PM] *it worked* [8:13:37 PM] ((might as well do it now)) [8:13:40 PM] Play 3 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:13:47 PM] They are very stupid hats! [8:13:59 PM] do i get a stupid hat [8:13:59 PM] i'm the card king [8:14:15 PM] [[Greetings, Astrotrain.]] [8:14:32 PM] All hats are only symbolic. [8:14:42 PM] You're a CZAR actually. [8:14:58 PM] ... No wait, actually. Hold on. [8:15:12 PM] Error: Error communicating with server. Will try again in 0.5 seconds. [8:15:20 PM] *a hologram of a Cubs baseball cap appears on Astrotrain's head.* You're welcome. [8:15:25 PM] [[We do not have rules against Czar hats. Or crowns.]] [8:15:35 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:15:43 PM] Play 3 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:15:47 PM] Hey, I didn't get a czar hat so you guys can't have any either! [8:15:50 PM] Heh [8:15:52 PM] shhh my head is cooler than yours [8:15:56 PM] You didn't ask. [8:16:14 PM] *prowl doesn't know if Soundwave wants the hat. so it just floats over him.* [8:16:26 PM] ........ [8:16:33 PM] *...Slowly lifts the radar dish behind his head.* [8:16:44 PM] [she has some words, but she's not going to say them out loud] [8:16:45 PM] *settles hat on dish* [8:16:52 PM] -mopes- [8:16:55 PM] !!! *what is this radar dish* [8:17:06 PM] *puts an energon cube on warp's head* [8:17:09 PM] *He has a sense of humor about it - oh! A hat hat. How novel.* [8:17:13 PM] -!! :D [8:17:18 PM] *does not have a crown for the queen tho* [8:17:24 PM] *only has lap space* [8:18:04 PM] *for some reason starts sniggering at 'stars creams'* [8:18:04 PM] Heh. One of you's got a good hand. [8:18:24 PM] *Leans back into his chair. Waves one of his wings at Astro* [8:18:26 PM] *they all look terrible to prowl* [8:18:30 PM] *had no cards that made sense so just took the opportunity to cull a little* [8:18:36 PM] *did the same* [8:18:37 PM] Primus wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:18:43 PM] Bruin has left the game. [8:18:45 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:18:45 PM] *same* [8:18:49 PM] ...I was rather hoping you'd pick that one, actually [8:18:51 PM] *chirrup at primus.. prophet... can u cuddle w/ god tho* [8:19:04 PM] ....*laughs* [8:19:05 PM] Thebes has joined the game. [8:19:05 PM] *Somehow won... And yes, yes you can* [8:19:15 PM] This card feels kinda familiar. [8:19:35 PM] There was a similar one before. [8:19:40 PM] -giggle-snorting into his cards- [8:19:40 PM] Hello! [8:19:47 PM] *yes. he was making a joke about it* [8:19:51 PM] [[Greetings.]] [8:20:06 PM] hello do you have a hat [8:20:08 PM] *Technically is in 'bot form, so, cuddles, Train* [8:20:09 PM] *Getaway is Czar. He must have a hat.* [8:20:14 PM] *Laserbeak swoops down and perches on his head.* [8:20:15 PM] *RIGHT. hat. moves hat.* Sorry. [8:20:24 PM] breastmasters... [8:20:35 PM] *waves hand. s'fine. hes too busy being determined not to pick soundwaves card* [8:20:39 PM] [squints @ that one card] [8:20:49 PM] They're a thing, Astro. [8:20:52 PM] ROTFcopter? [8:21:05 PM] What is the Yeager program? [8:21:14 PM] BetterStarscream wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:21:16 PM] Something human no doubt. [8:21:16 PM] I believe that's a human acronym meant to convey amusement. [8:21:19 PM] *will sit on god if the space is available. will also beckon for spide ...... er, queen spide* [8:21:21 PM] It's funny because you aren't supposed to say breasts. [8:21:22 PM] It stands for "Rolling On The Floor." [8:21:23 PM] *all spide??* [8:21:23 PM] *shrugs* [8:21:27 PM] *so close, prowl* [8:21:40 PM] *this time Prowl dutifully moves the hat to Ratchet* [8:22:08 PM] is it normal to get completely garbage cards [8:22:11 PM] can i trade [8:22:13 PM] *accept the hat with dignity and aplomb* [8:22:18 PM] No card trading. [8:22:19 PM] *heh, this spide declines politely* [8:22:26 PM] *Has an Astro on his lap. Nuzzles him* [8:22:41 PM] can i make a team and pool my cards with astro's [8:22:44 PM] because i'm curious now [8:22:59 PM] [[Optimus Prime being attacked by trees IS entertaining.]] [8:23:06 PM] Indeed. [8:23:13 PM] You shut your mouth. Or whatever. [8:23:16 PM] garbage plus garbage is still garbage though [8:23:17 PM] You know what I mean. [8:23:20 PM] prime doing the attacking is even better [8:23:23 PM] *nuzzles primus* [8:23:26 PM] because he still loses [8:23:31 PM] Noodles wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. [8:23:46 PM] *gdi* [8:23:57 PM] *Ha.* [8:24:14 PM] *transfers hat to Tarantulas.* [8:24:24 PM] *Purrs happily* [8:24:24 PM] *sincerest apologies honestly it was an accident* [8:24:33 PM] ((im screaming at #2)) [8:24:38 PM] [*Chokes on the rewind card*] [8:24:44 PM]

[keaalu]

Keeping it

Setting – Deixar, Cybertron. “Blue” AU. Probably about 8 years (deci-vorn?) before the missing Skywarp finally reappears. TC gets a cameo here but this is mostly OCs. (Whitesides and Pulsar)

--------

It was getting late. Not that you could really tell.

Most of the day had already drained out of the sky, leaving only a thin rind of surly orange at the horizon, but lurid night-cycle advertisements bled unreasonable colours up into the dark and turned everything confusing shades of pink and cyan.

That was one of the drawbacks of this whole ‘urban renewal’ thing. Pulsar preferred it when the dark cycle was… well, dark.

Deixar central police station was quiet and calm; a little island that the vivid neon hadn’t quite invaded yet. The grav-bike traipsed heavily past the front desk, dragging her feet and leaving dirty scuffmarks on the tiles of the foyer. She’d pulled a double, as a favour to her sister, and now had a head full of data and no space to think.

“Hey, Pulse?”

A voice bumped into her thoughts; she glanced up to see the desk sergeant watching her.

“You’re late back, tonight. Problem shift?” he prompted.

She realised she was trying to get into a storage cupboard instead of the lift, and vented a small sigh at herself. Maybe she was more depleted than she’d thought. “S’fine.” She found a smile for him. “Just need to defrag. Pulled a double, covering for Beemer.”

He bobbed his head in a single nod. “That's the second time in ten orns. You know you can say ‘no’ when she asks you?”

Pulsar spread her hands, and offered a little shrug, smile and roll of the eyes before stepping onto the lift. The instant the doors sliced him away from view, she sagged back against the wall, and let her head bonk down onto the mirrored surface.

That’s what siblings were for, right? Bailing you out if you got in a jam. So why was it always her that seeming to do the bailing?

’Cause you’re a fragging doormat, Pulse; that’s why.

She covered her face with both hands and sighed into her palms. There was a difference between bailing someone out because they were a mate, and shamelessly preying on a femme’s good nature because you knew she was a mug who’d always cave if you laid it on thick enough.

The lift ding!ed softly and the doors opened on the office. She stared out at the first row of desks, with their high partitions and banks of computer terminals, and for the count of ten thousand, wondered whether she’d end up on disciplinary proceedings if she just… turned around and went home, scan data be damned?

No. She had to upload it all at some point. Better to get a clear head than attempt to defragment this almighty mess. She slipped out between the lift doors just as they began to close, and headed into the maze of untidy workstations.

The upper floor offices were quiet; this time of night, no-one really wanted to head all the way to the top of the station just to upload their sensor data. A handful of officers were spread among the desks, but she didn’t know any of them very well, and none of them acknowledged her. Suited her just fine.

She made her way over to the corner, and her favourite terminal, furthest from the dirty white street-lighting pooling in from outside. It was a glitchy piece of slag that really needed replacing, but it was also the most comfortable, being closest to both a decent air conditioner and the tower’s main ground rod, and she’d got the hang of exactly how to get its flaky connectors to respond. She scrambled inelegantly up onto one of the high desk chairs, and delivered a single sharp blow to the top left of the terminal screen.

After a second or two where the screen just flickered, ominously… it hummed to life and chirped a saccharine greeting that made her want to punch it for real. It extended a cable for her to hook up with.

Next time, she told herself, accepting the handshake and slumping back in her chair, one of her sibs could do it.

If she could actually find either of the lazy fraggers. Her two siblings must have precognition in their skillsets, because they always managed to slope off right before Longbeam came along, pleading for cover. Surefire had conveniently been called back to Earth, ostensibly to work. Whitesides had gone completely off the grid, unannounced as ever; she was trying not to worry about him. You know the mech’s in a relationship, Pulse, because the whole station is abuzz trying to work out who with.

-you owe me- she pinged Longbeam, and glared when the only response was a smiley face.

Trying to swallow her irritation, Pulsar turned her attention onto the deliciously cool air pouring down from the venting, leaning her stool back into it. Maybe she could get a few minutes defragment while it was quiet? She shut off her optics, relaxed back in her chair, and let her free arm dangle.

Pit, it was nice to just ground for a while. It didn’t take long to ease into a pleasant doze, letting her higher awareness slip into idle while her head-full of data slowly cleared.

Something small and light bounced off one of her antennae. She rebooted her optics and watched as a scrunched-up candy wrapper rolled to a halt next to her outstretched hand.

She frowned. Why was someone throwing things at her when they (presumably) had a perfectly functioning communications array – or vocaliser, for that matter – that they could use to get her attention?

She stretched up to peer over her terminal, trying to spot whoever had thrown it, but no-one looked back. Instead, she leaned forwards and picked up the ball of glittery cellophane, and smoothed it out between her thumbs. It was disappointingly blank.

“Psst!”

The voice came from one side. She turned to look, and in the gloom of an unlit storage alcove, finally spotted two dim blue lights; the optics of someone trying very hard not to draw attention to himself. A small yellow hand emerged briefly from the shadow to wave her over.

“Whitesides?” She frowned at her sibling. “Where have you-”

He interrupted with an urgent little ssh! and beckoned more emphatically.

Her frown deepened, but she obediently unplugged from the terminal, and made her way over to him. She’d uploaded enough data to have regained a clear head – the rest of her scans would have to wait.

“So you’re not too good to be seen with us, now?” she challenged, arms folded.

Whitesides managed a nervous giggle and shooed her behind a shelving unit.

“Where have you been?” Pulsar had to fight off the urge to shake him. “You couldn’t even ping us a hello to let us know you weren’t stuffed in a dumpster in a back alley somewhere?”

“Sorry.” For someone who’d made a name for himself as the master of the gossip around the station, his voice was unusually soft. Shaky. He met her gaze for only a few uneasy seconds. “I-I would have, but-… I wanted to skate under the radar, for a breem or two. Didn’t want anyone else spotting my signal just yet.” He shifted from one foot to the other, brought one hand up to rub the opposing arm. “I sneaked in through custody.”

Pulsar had heard the babble about Skyshout wanting extra hands to help quell a riot in the cell block, at the rear of the station, and could imagine one little bike managing to slip past the ruckus without attracting much attention.

He twisted his hands together and drew a short, steadying intake of cold air through his core. “Listen, I’m in a spot of bother. Could I-… could I ask a tiny favour off you?”

“A favour.” She tried to swallow it, but the sigh slipped out anyway. “Sure.” She threw up her hands. “Why not. Why should Beemer be the only one allowed to monopolise every last astro-second of my spare time.”

Whitesides almost flinched, and shrank back on himself. “Sorry! Sorry. I-… I mean, it’s-… All right. Never mind! It doesn’t matter.” He cast a furtive glance around the alcove, as if hopeful of finding a helpful person among the cluttered shelves. Or maybe looking for an exit. “Sorry. I knew you were busy, I shouldn’t have barged in. I’ll, I’ll… think of something-”

Pulsar vented a sigh of stuffy air through her pursed lips and put out an arm to stop him slinking away. “No, no. It’s all right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just… feeling a little taken for granted, right now. And not by you. It’s made me fractious.” She managed to find a tired half-smile for him that didn’t come across as a complete snarl. “What kind of favour.”

He shifted his weight back onto the other foot, unable to keep from fidgeting. “Maybe I should start over. Could we go and, um. Talk in private somewhere?”

“How bad is the trouble you’re in?” she intuited.

He gave another of those funny nervous little laughs that wasn’t mirrored in his expression. “…I try not to make it too obvious, and I might as well just paint it across my chassis. It’s… complicated.”

“It’s always complicated, with you. Who was it this time?”

“It’s not that. Or rather it is that as well, but it’s more than just that.” He laced both hands over the back of his neck. “Primus. I practiced what I was going to say the whole way up here and then you asked something I wasn’t expecting and the words are escaping me and-… I’m just making myself look an idiot. Give me a moment?”

“Sure.” She stood and quietly took in how scruffy the mech was – dusty, dirty, with little dents and flecks of someone else’s paint scuffed into his pale enamel, and such a dramatic kink in one of his antennae, the whole unit would probably need replacing. He rarely got so bumped around when he was actually on duty.

Must have been a pretty sustained attack. “Was it them that roughed you up?” She reached out a hand to see if she could straighten the bent aerial somewhat, but he ducked back out of reach.

“Oh, that – no, it was my fault.” He covered the long silver stems spreading from behind his audio venting with both palms. “Wasn’t watching where I was going. Took a wrong turn somewhere. You’ve ended up in districts that aren’t friendly towards police; you know what it’s like?”

It wasn’t remotely convincing, but Pulsar didn’t push. “...right.”

His unusually-shifty manner was setting off a whole cacophony of alarm bells in the back of her head. Whitesides’ lack of guile – and inability to lie convincingly – was what tended to get him in trouble in the first place. Who had he lied to? And – mercy – what had they done when they’d seen through it? A hundred terrible scenarios had already invaded her thoughts.

“So, um.” Whitesides twisted his hands together and took another long stabilising draught of cold air. “I have to go to the hospital. Would-… would you come with me? I’ve got an appointment, and, um-” His voice stuck, briefly. “I’m scared to go.”

The terrible scenarios all immediately stopped, only to be replaced by terrible scenarios of a slightly different flavour. He didn’t look badly hurt. Maybe that was the problem. “…Was that the favour?”

He nodded, silently, just once.

“Of course I will. But why don’t you wait until you feel better, though?” She held out a hand for him, but he declined to take it. “Give yourself a chance to stop and think. You might decide you don’t want me there, after all.”

She almost added, because you don’t look that bad, you vain little mech, but swallowed the words at the last moment. At least nothing looked life-threatening. He was a bit bashed around, but a trip through the washracks would deal with the dirt, and the bent antenna might be distracting but it wouldn’t hurt.

She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, although she couldn’t quite shed the frown tightening her brows. She gestured an arm towards the office. “Or, if it’s easier, we could just go see Spotweld? He’s on duty downstairs and he’s pretty good at being diplomati-”

Whitesides jumped as though stung. “No-! No, uh.”

Pulsar gave him a funny look.

“I-I mean. I’ve already got an appointment. Uh. Out in Tysta.”

“Tysta? That’s a whole district over! Why ever did you want to go all the way out there?”

“Privacy. No-one knows me, over there. Plus, uh, this is the second time I’ve made the appointment.” His voice was little more than a whisper; so unlike him. “I don’t want to annoy them by cancelling again. I went once already, but, uh…” He shrugged. “I got spooked and came home, instead.”

“What’s wrong, Whites?” She took both of his hands and refused to let them go, leaning closer to meet his gaze. “Please. You’re scaring me. Is someone threatening you? Has someone hurt you?” She strained to catch any flicker in his expression that might betray his confidence. “Is someone trying to blackmail you? If they’ve tried to embarrass you, or something… Look, we’ll sort something out, it’ll be fine-”

He jerked his hands free, and choked the words out: “I’m sparked, Pulse.”

Silence yawned up between them like a monstrous black hole. He looked like he wanted to suck the words back in, or have the ground swallow him, or perhaps both.

For several seconds, all she could do was stare at him.

“Yeah. I’m-… I’m sparked,” he repeated, shakily.

“Sparked?” she finally managed, and he flapped his hands, frantically shush!-ing her. “How?”

He spread his palms. “Well, see, when two people love each other very much…” His voice broke and the words strangled off, and he forced out a laugh or maybe a sob or something to cover it. “Careless, I guess? An accident? Maybe my baffle slipped, I don’t know." He gave her a loaded glance. "You know better than me that accidents happen."

Her optics narrowed and he looked away.

She gave him a long, wary look. “…this… is a good thing… isn’t it?” She tried for a small smile; the mech always got a funny wistful look about him when the idea of children came up. So why doesn’t it look it? “Have you told your partner?”

This time, the noise was definitely more of a sob. “Yeah. I’ve… explained. I think.”

Okay; it definitely hadn’t been a good thing. She squeezed his hands. "I've been worried spare about you, mech. Why did it take you so long to come talk to me?”

“Needed a few orns to myself. To-to… brace myself for the gossip, I guess?”

Whitesides’ loose plating wasn’t precisely a secret. Making his way up the chain of command, one berth at a time. It never took much to win his affection, and he might not be too fussy who he shared sparks with – or where, or how often… -- and current opinion held that it was a miracle he hadn’t got himself in this kind of a mess three times already.

But he’d always been a bright, passionate, generous little mech, too, who never asked for much except to be loved back, and it made her furious to see him so shaky and broken.

“Did they do this to you?” She ran her thumb over the kink in his aerial and gently tried to press it out.

“No!” Too fast; he hastily added an ineffectual lie that the expression in his optics said he knew she didn’t believe. “No. Just-… ended up in a rougher part of the district, where policebikes don’t usually go on their own and certainly not in uniform.” Another of those horrible little attempts at a self-deprecating laugh.

“Through your own choice?”

“Of-… of course through my own choice. Why else would it have been?”

“Nobody perhaps encouraged you to go, to make sure you knew to keep your vocaliser offline?”

“Of-of course not. It’s not like I’d have said anything unless they wanted-… I wasn’t trying to blackmail anyone-!”

“…When did I ever mention blackmail, Whites?”

He shook his hands free of her grip, but she’d already felt him trembling. “I’m sorry. Primus, I’m sorry. What a mess.” He paced out a tight circle in the alcove’s limited floorspace. Heat already made the air around him shimmer. “I should have made sure I could get under control before talking to you. What a mess.” He groaned and clutched at the shelves for support. “Primus. Is it meant to always hurt like this?” His knees wobbled underneath him.

“Shh, shh, it’s only feedback,” she soothed, holding his shoulders and supporting him while he shook. “You’ve got hot and stressed and your core pressure has gone up.” She straightened and looked briefly out into the office; the few officers still around didn’t even spare her a glance. “Let’s not hide in a cupboard, eh? We’ll go and find somewhere nice and cool. The mess down the corridor should be empty this time of the orn.”

She shepherded him through the empty washracks, to rinse off the worst of the dust and maybe cool him down a little, then retreated to the quiet staff break-room next to the Superintendent’s office. Officers of her grade weren’t strictly allowed access, but she knew a few strings she could pull if anyone gave her a hard time.

Not as if two bikes quietly huddled up together in the slouchy cushions in the corner by the big window would raise many eyebrows. They gazed out over the city together; watching life go on under the intense dark of a sky turned starless by the riot of colour in the streets below.

“Come on.” Pulsar let him snuggle closer, curling an arm around his shoulders and trying to extend her electric field enough to support him. He felt so prickly, it was like trying to comfort a small magnetic storm. “You’ve got to give me the details, now. How long have you known?”

The words were still quiet, but Whitesides didn’t sound quite so shellshocked as he had. “About… five orns, give or take. It started to hurt, but I wasn’t injured, and-… I remembered what you said happened with yours. Why you went to speak to Sepp that time.” He let his helm rest against the front of her shoulder. “I went to a doctor in Tysta. Somewhere no-one knows me, just in case. He says it’s not very old yet, probably only about twenty orns.”

“You’ve already got it checked out? Why do you need me, then?”

“Because I’m a coward.” He laughed, miserably. “It all seemed so big. I didn’t- didn’t want to rush into something I hadn’t really thought about and couldn’t undo.” He gave her a hopeful glance, although he still couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “You don’t have to actually do anything. I-I’ve got the appointment, I just…” His voice dwindled, fracturing into a whisper that she struggled to hear. “Need someone with me. Don’t want to go and… stare at the door for half an orn then run away, again.”

She managed a small smile. “I never said I’d changed my mind. You’re still going to have to put up with me tagging along behind you.” She stroked his antennae, gently. “Just wondered why you needed to go back.”

“To, uh.” He couldn’t force the words out, and had to reboot his vocaliser. “To get rid of it.”

She stayed silent, to let the words sink in.

He struggled on, in the silence. “It’s. The doctor said, uh. Not very stable yet. Uh. If-if… I wanted to get rid of it, it won’t… it’ll be quite straight-forward-”

“Why?”

“Might forgive me, if I dissolve it.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Might even want me back.”

Anger surged inside her, and Pulsar had to work surprisingly hard to keep her field even. “Oh, Whites. Primus. Look. Whatever you want to do,” she said, in a soft, stilted voice. “You have my support. All right?”

She felt him nod against her shoulder.

“But it’s got to be what you want, Whites. Primus, please.” She cupped his cheek and forced him to look her in the optic. “This has to be your decision, spark! Don’t you dare do this just because some overbearing, jealous… slagmunch… doesn’t want to take responsibility for their actions. They gave up their chance to have any input on your decision when they left you feeling like you didn’t.”

He actually flinched and averted his gaze. “It’s not about what I want, though, is it? It’s something I don’t have any choice about. I’ve got to be sensible about this. P-practical. I can’t just be… selfish. I-I… have no idea how I’d even afford to look after it.”

It didn’t take a psychologist to work out exactly what must be going on. Someone was embarrassed; probably someone much more important than a lowly policebike.

Well if they hadn’t wanted to feel ashamed of sparking up one of the juniors, they shouldn’t have led the poor spark on in the first place!

She could feel her field starting to bristle, angry – furious – on his behalf.

He could feel it, too, and was actually cringing away from her. “Please don’t do anything stupid, Pulse. Please please-… I can’t lose this job, I can’t-!”

“Is that what they said to you?” Her spark hurt, hot and constricted.

“Is-… is what?”

“Keep your mouth shut or you’re on the streets. Get rid of it or you’re out of a job.”

“N-no. No! I just-… I didn’t do it on purpose. I thought they’d be happy-! I-I-… I don’t know what to do, Pulse.” His words dissolved into static.

Pulsar curled tighter around him and pressed her cheek against the top of his helm. “It’s all right,” she whispered, humming softly. “It’ll be fine, we’ll think of something.”

For someone who never normally needed an excuse to snuggle, Whitesides clung to her like a mech who’d been starved of friendly contact for millennia, arms so tight around her chassis she thought her plating might actually buckle. She tried not to fantasize about what she’d do if she ever caught up with the sparkless scrapheap that put her friend in such a state.

“S-said-… thought I was t-trying to blackmail,” he tried to explain. His vocaliser was hitchy and discordant; most of the words came in fits and starts between the static. “Poisonous, treacherous little whore-”

“Oh, Whites-… who cares what they think, when they clearly can’t even see what’s right in front of them?”

He made a funny strangled little noise, and shut his vocaliser off altogether.

She swallowed any further words, and just hummed softly for him instead.

After what felt like a very long time, he finally began to calm – his deathgrip began to ease, his field began to smooth out, his shaking began to ease. “Thanks,” he croaked, faintly, sitting forwards and wiping his face with one hand. “Sorry for dragging you into this.”

“Don’t apologise, mech. Who else could you have got involved?” she chastised, gently, and he finally found a more genuine flicker of a smile for her. “So. What do you want to do? I’ll still come with you to the hospital, if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

He remained silent, for a few moments; lifted his hand and flattened the palm over his spark, almost absent-minded. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do.” She set her own hand over the top. “It’s why you didn’t just go and do it in the first place.”

He let his hand slip back to his lap. “How will I afford it? My salary doesn’t precisely make me affluent on a normal day, let alone looking after a newspark.”

“You afford it the same way that I afforded it – and I had two hungry monsters to keep in fuel.” She offered a small, sheepish smile. “You’re not the only one to have ever had an affair, you know? Or an accident. Besides, you helped me drag my twins up to be mostly-responsible adults without even being asked, it’s only fair for me to return the favour. You know the rest of the guys will help out.”

“I can’t take you all for granted like that-”

“It’s not taking someone for granted if they offer to help in the first place.” She watched as he scrubbed a palm over his antennae, trying to wake himself up a little. Poor mech looked exhausted. “You need to get some rest, because you look almost flat. When’s your next shift?”

“Uh.” He had to think about it for a full few seconds. “Not for an orn and a half?”

“Good. That means you can come home with me and get some proper down time. Infinitely more comfortable than dealing with that flock of gossips down in dorms.” She grasped both his hands in both of hers, and leaned backwards, encouraging him to his feet. He responded heavily, but at least he was still responding.

Large families were mixed blessings. Pulsar had never quite got used to the noise… but the benefits vastly outweighed the annoyances.

She pinged Footloose, asking her sparkling to meet them on the roof, then boldly marched through the superintendent’s empty office and up the short flight of stairs to the air gate. Whitesides followed, clinging to her hand, looking like a lost turbopuppy – small, silent, emotionally exhausted.

Footloose scooped them both up and gave them a lift to Pulsar’s suburban home, and although you could see the worry in her optics, she didn’t push; just wrapped her uncle in a hug and held him for a few moments before whirling away to attend her next trauma case.

The house was empty and dark; thank Primus for small mercies. It meant she didn’t have to figure out how to explain with Whitesides and his frazzled emotions right there, listening in.

By the time Pulsar had got her brother settled in her room and ensured he was recharging, and gone down to the storage unit to fetch a flask of something well-filtered and ice-cold, she felt half-grey already; dead on her feet. Making it back upstairs to her room just wasn’t going to happen.

She folded a thermal foil around her shoulders and plopped down on the enormous couch at the rear of the atrium, then pressed the heels of her hands against her optics. “Ugh.” So much for that downtime she’d been looking forwards to. Wasn’t that long until her next shift was due to start. She hoped she’d get the chance to finish her upload before then, or she’d be the one conked out in a back alley.

She glared briefly at her flask, and drained it in one single long gulp. It didn’t make her feel even remotely better.

It felt like she’d stared at the reflection of her own optics for a very long time before the thunder of jet engines shaded subtly into her awareness. Sounded like her housemates were on the way home, at last; she’d not seen either since yesterday, when they’d headed out to New Vos, to discuss the ongoing rebuild-…

She caught herself scanning the sky for the familiar pinpoints of paired running lights, and realised just how much she was looking forwards to having a trustworthy audio to unload on. (Assuming she could stay awake long enough to do so. Or figure out how to even start the conversation.)

The two jets touched down in their comparatively-luxurious front yard. Leaving his wingmate outside, discussing something with Nightsun, Starscream was first through the door in the huge glass front wall, his arms loaded with plant samples. He did a brief double-take at seeing Pulsar on the couch… then stood and stared more suspiciously at her, as if to ask why she was on the couch and not in the chaos of her own room. When she failed to volunteer anything, he muttered something she didn’t catch and carried on his way without further challenging her.

Thundercracker was more forthcoming. He hesitated in the centre of the atrium, and just frowned at her, for a few seconds, waiting for her to speak. “Everything all right?” he coaxed, when she didn’t take the invitation.

She opened her mouth to speak, and realised that she didn’t actually know how to broach the subject. After a few seconds where his brows perked higher and she felt like even more of an idiot, she finally managed to clarify; “there’s going to be a new addition to the family.”

He… froze… for just long enough that she realised the implications of her words.

“Not me,” she hastily added, sitting straighter in alarm. “Primus! Haha, no, Primus, not me.”

The dark head perked briefly to one side. “Whitesides?” he guessed. She figured he must have picked up the mech’s frequency, and added the two together. He lowered his bulk to perch elegantly on the arm of the couch. “…is he all right?”

“No.” She laughed, sourly. “And for once he’s not even trying to pretend everything’s fine.” She covered her optics with one hands and vented a huff of hot air in a short, frustrated sigh. “I swear, if I ever find out who’s been treating that poor mech like a dirty little secret?” She stabbed a finger at him, as if to drive home the point. “I will yank their spark out, through their damn exhaust.”

“All right, firecracker.” He rested a giant hand on her shoulder. “I’ll even hold ’em down for you. But maybe you should wait until you’ve got some rest, eh?”

“Rest! Pit. That’d be nice,” she groaned, and let her arms flop out to either side. “But I’ve got to be back at work at any time. Talk about Beemer’s bad timing.”

“No you don’t. I’ve already organised cover for you.”

She looked up at him and frowned.

“Why do you think I was talking to Nightsun? Nice though it is to actually get the chance to talk to my deputy every now and then…” The blue mech smiled in a way that Pulsar took to be a subtle telling-off. “When the junior officers invite themselves into the senior lounge, then leave the building via the superintendent’s private air-gate, people take notice.”

“…oh.” She hunched her shoulders and glanced away. “Iiii didn’t think anyone had spotted us.”

“That much was obvious.” He flicked a finger gently across her antennae. “Get some rest, eh? I think we’re all going to need it…!”

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Crossposted to http://keaalu.dreamwidth.org/33224.html and http://keaalu.livejournal.com/470242.html for people who prefer those platforms...