#skyjacks quarchive

[hgb94]

James: In life, things happen to people. Plans don’t always work out the way they should. You can have a truly massive amount of potential and sometimes fate just gets in the way. We don’t get to see the endings that we want to see because different ones find us along the way, but with his last act, Dref Wormwood chose to learn secret things. He has dedicated his entire life to the pursuit of knowledge. In order to gain it, he burned his name, Alistair Youngblood. He set aside his family, his comfort, and his safety, because he believed the world around him was deserving of a deeper mercy. He believed that if someone was willing to gaze into the abyss, that they might be able to use that knowledge to help people, and that the slings and arrows of a world that might never understand him were nothing in the face of that mission. We don’t get to choose our endings. We don’t get to say the goodbyes that would give us peace. But as we watch him cast this spell, we know that Dref Wormwood, a man who has devoted his life to questions, has found answers. And we know that the last experience he has as a living creature is that feeling of accomplishment.

The last chorus dwindles, an echoed refrain To those who won’t weather the wind and the rain Though our number may lessen, our memories remain As once more we’ll gather to speak every lost name

Health to strangers who’ve ever been kind And once for our friends ne’er to rise Twice to the dearest we’re leaving behind Who know we can never deny The call of the sky

[hgb94]

Announcer 2: Oh, and you hate to see that! It looks like the clever Caramel is treebound!

Announcer 1: You would think that he would do something else, but he has not done it!

Announcer 2: It appears that although Caramel is a very resourceful bird in certain situations, he is not very well at all prepared for this competition.

Announcer 1: No indeed, his trainer must be most sorrowful to see such a sorry sight.

Announcer 2: Put him up on the big screen!

James: And you see Orimar, unblinking on the screen, just this glassy eyed look.

Announcer 1: Terrifying!

Announcer 3: Absolutely nightmarish!

Announcer 2: There’s a man who can keep his composure for sure.

Announcer 1: I hope Caramel comes through! Or not!

Announcer 4: Not unlike the bird bound to the tree, I myself have been bound to the loo.

Announcer 2: Please, you must spare us no detail!

Announcer 3: I need to know!

Announcer 1: I’ll give you my job!

[hgb94]

The Broker: He [Tiberius] did not outbid me, I can assure you that he will find no information on you— well, well, [sniffs tearfully] I believed I could have assured you that, but now I don’t know!

Jonnit: Oh don’t start—

Travis: There, there. There, there.

Jonnit: Oh man, if you start crying then I might forgive you.

James: I always described the Broker as having this eye makeup, I kind of think you can see that there are tear streaks in his makeup.

Travis: Oh you poor, poor spooky man.

The Broker: I...am I spooky?

Travis: Well, I thought you were kind of going for it as your deal.

The Broker: I-I...that’s what I thought too! I thought this was intimidating.

Travis: Oh, you poor thing!

Johnny: Travis gets up and walks to someone who’s tied up and pulls a handkerchief out of their pocket and hands it to The Broker.

James: The Broker blots at his eyes.

The Broker: I just...you think you have the city quaking at the mention of your name. You dress like a big scary bird every day. And- and- and your STAFF betrays YOU! I don’t even know if I should keep being The Broker? What good is it if someone can just walk into my territory, show some gold around, and that matters more than my name, more than what I’ve accomplished!

Travis: No, no, no, you’re a great The Broker.

Jonnit: Everyone...slips up.

Liz: Gable turns to the both of you in astonishment.

[hgb94]

Dref: What happened? Just now, you lost consciousness and your eyes were un-mm-mm-responsive. 

Gable: I don't know. May I be frank?

Dref: Only if I'm still allowed to be--

Gable and Dref simultaneously: -- Dref.

Dref: I'm sorry, but I--no, I'm sorry.

Gable: We appreciate your jokes.

James: The captain holds up a hand for a high five.

Dref: This is not the time.

Travis: I cannot believe you trained him to do that.

[hgb94]

Dref: Um, Gable, uh, you would be useful to be there as a, uh, uh, your presence is, uh, uh, uh, somewhat c-c-commanding?

Gable: Say it.

Dref: And in-in-intimidating?

Gable: Intimidating?

Dref: Um...mmm

Gable: More.

Dref: I-I, mmm...mmm, yeah, uh, you’re, you’ve, uh--

Gable: Tall?

Dref: Tall, t-tall, or, uh, if you, I should be here--

Gable: Handsome?

Dref: Hand-han...uh, mmm--

Gable: Are you attracted to me?

Dref: I should be there as well, to maintain, uh, if anything does go--

Gable: I’ll take that as a yes

Dref: --uh, wrong, about the captain.

Travis: And now say good things about me!

Dref: Travis, I, I believe that we will need you because you have a, mmm, uh, certain knack for dealing with, uh, people.

Travis: Oh, me? (smug chuckle)

Gable: Are you attracted to Travis?

Dref: (stammers)

Travis: That’s not a no.

Gable: That’s not a no.

Dref: Um, and Jonnit, I believe that you--

Jonnit: And I’m a natural leader!

[hgb94]

James: There are dozens, maybe even over a hundred people who are getting into these various carts, and you just happen to be ushered into cart number three. Following just behind you, you can see the telltale blue and red coats of a Red Feather unit of soldiers. And Dref [...] I think you stifle your reaction, but you see, leading this contingent of soldiers onto the elevator, Tiberius Youngblood. … JPC: Dref kind of just shifts even further behind the captain and kind of buries his head into the back of the captain's hair. ... Tiberius: I'm sorry, friend. I'm afraid I must impose once more. May I have your name?

Travis: Matagot. Travis Matagot.

James: They shake hands.

Tiberius: A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Travis Matagot. I am Tiberius Youngblood.

[Travis, in true chaotic bastard man style, attempts to steal Tiberius’ watch and fails. Tiberius grabs him and pulls him in close.]

Tiberius: Seventeen. That is the number of corsair vessels that I have taken in: Seventeen. 

Travis: You'll find no outlaw vessels at this port.

Tiberius: I don't need to find them. I already know where they are.

[hgb94]

Hildred: Gable, if I could, if I could sit on that fucking bird, I would be in the sky tomorrow, I guarantee you. I, I actually tried. After they put me in a cast, I had them put me on a saddle in the room, and I couldn’t stay balanced. But if I could, I would. And I know it’s stupid, and I lean on medicine and healers.

Gable: I’ll do it. I’ll ride for your team.

Hildred: You can’t just ride for my team.

Gable: Yes I can! I’m seven foot tall, I can do whatever I want.

...

Hildred: You get me on that bird, I’ll give you the feather if I win. And I’ll win. Even if I have to beat you.

Gable: Aw, I don’t think so. We have to kill Tiberius first, then we have to do a head to head showdown and that’ll be very fun, and then we can, like, kiss at the end, and then you can-[cuts themself off]

Hildred, delighted: Let’s move back there.

[hgb94]

Travis: You couldn’t tell them I was doing something cooler than being drunk in a ditch?

Gable: What story sounds the most believable to you?

Travis: I don’t know. Doing a cool thing in a ditch.

Gable: Oh, I’m sorry, you were saving a child from dying in a well in a ditch.

Travis: I would never save a child. Present company excluded, you big tall baby.

Gable: You dumbass bird baby. Hollow bones, I could throw you against a wall right now.

Travis: Oh, I’d like to see you try.

Gable: I’ll do it!

Travis: Do it!

[Gable tries to throw Travis and he just flies away.]

Travis: Hmmm? Hmmm? Not so big now.

Gable: I am big.

Travis: You’re tall but I can fly higher!

[hgb94]

Travis: Okay, team. It’s you and me and you, the three of us. We’re gonna go out there, we’re gonna sign our names, we’re not gonna wear blinders, and we’re gonna win big, okay? We’ve got the prettiest duck and the prettiest peacock in town. Ain’t nobody gonna beat us here, okay? That’s the spirit. I love your bows. And just so we’re all clear, you both did read the rules and know the deal? I certainly did. So, I just want to make sure that you both also are aware.

[hgb94]

As Dref, having already noticed Gable's scars, is tending to their wounds...

Dref: I..think that you are extraordinary.

Gable: Hmm...no one’s called me that before.

Dref: I cannot believe that to be true.

Gable: Maybe a long time ago.

Dref: But you are not human.

Gable: Do you want to see ‘em?

Dref: Do you require medical attention that would necessi--yes, I would very much like to see them.

[hgb94]

Innkeeper: It is, I think, in the spirit of the hospitality that my city is famous for that I invite you all to get the hell out of my establishment.

Jonnit: That was pretty good. Thank you very much, sir. Bye.

Travis: We'll race you for it. Are you a trainer yourself?

Innkeeper: No. I'm a 50-year-old man with bad knees.

Gable: Well, you don't need to use your knees when you're racing on a bird.

Jonnit: How are your bird's knees?

Innkeeper: I don't own a bird. I own a bad motel that is likely to burn down.

Dref: Very likely to burn down.

Innkeeper: And you are desperate to stay in it.

Dref: I would say it's becoming more and more likely to burn down the more you don't give us the rooms that we're asking for. … Bouncer: If I see you cross this door again, I'll kill all of you.

Travis: The only thing you'll see us cross is the finish line, first.

Innkeeper laughs: Well, I will thank you for the good chuckle, but I wish you the best of luck.

Bouncer: We both do.

Jonnit: Can you please, uh, return that gun to your pocket or your holster, please?

Bouncer: As soon as your employers leave my establishment.

Travis: Well, I've only got one more question on our way out.

Johnny: Travis reaches into his jacket and says:

Travis: Is this your card?

Johnny: And then he just pulls out his hand and gives them a rude gesture.

Gable: All right, thank you, I'm so sorry, I really apologize.

Jonnit: There's a gun to my head, Travis!

[hgb94]

Gable: I could try and tell you more, but...when we, we lost so much when we fall, and it’s, it’s coming back together and...the people I’ve gathered around me have helped, and there’s one thing that I’ve learned from the people, from the person who I lost, that...it’s been hundreds of years where I’ve been running away from it. And I might as well start [fighting back tears] learning.

Hildred: This is crazy, you’re telling me that you’re going to learn? You’ve been around hundreds of years!

Gable: You can avoid a lot.

[...]

Hildred: I, I don’t know, I don’t think...here’s what I do know, and I can’t believe I’m about to give you advice. I spent a lot of my life running away from things and being under the control of other people. And I fucking hated it. I hated every minute of it. And I met someone last year who told me the one thing you never want to do is die with your arms bound. There are gonna be people who try and lock you down your whole life and as long as you’re not fighting them, you’re losing.

Gable: Hildred...that’s the most badass shit I’ve ever heard.

[hgb94]

Dref: Someone will need to implore the crew to assist us, and it cannot be the captain.

Travis: I think it should be the talking rabbit.

Dref: I don’t, I’m sorry, tone is not always readily apparent to me and I can’t tell if you’re--

Gable: He was being sarcastic because he knows that the crew does not know--

Dref: Okay, that’s been my understanding as well, but I, but again, I just, and I want to be clear that I don’t, mmm--

Gable: Are you throwing up? Don’t.

Dref: Now, I might.

Gable: No!

Dref: I don’t like that word.

Travis: Look, don’t throw up, we won’t tell the crew about my goopification.

[hgb94]

James: I think the thing that you are drawn to is a rabbit’s foot. You hear these nature sounds and this just calls out to you. You reach out and you pick it up and it’s warm. It reacts to your touch.

Snake: Ahhhh, I see you are a gentleman of taste. And one who needs luck.

Travis: Well, I don’t know that I need luck, I just think that it tends to follow me.

Snake: Something certainly does, perhaps it’s the curse that’s on you.

Travis [forced chuckle]: Curse?

Snake: Very few people are drawn into my tent without...a deep need. One that I am happy to help fill.

Travis: I’ll...I’ll take the foot.

Snake: Don’t you want to know what it is? Or were you able to figure it out instinctually.

Travis [quietly]: I know what it is.

Snake: How long have you been running? If you don’t mind my asking.

Travis: Long enough.

...

Travis: And you?

Snake: I have been in this form for ten years. One of the longest lived of our kind.

Travis: Hmm...well, best of luck to you.

Snake: Stay out of the woods.

[hgb94]

Gable meets Hildred Gastar while getting a tattoo. James: She rolls up her sleeve. And you can see that there are lines and lines of feathers that have an X through them across it.

Gable: Oh! Well, that's quite the design.

Hildred: I'm a jouster. It's a silly thing, but I get these every time I unseat someone from a bird.

Gable: Oh! Wow. I hope not to meet you in battle. [laughs a little awkwardly]

Hildred: Well, I hope I do meet you. You look like you'd be a challenge.

Johnny: Travis leans into Gable's ear.

Travis [whispers]: I'm a different bird. … Hildred: I fly a peregrine, which is not great for the joust normally, but I’m kinda small, so I try to take advantage of that.

Gable: I didn't want to comment, but joust requires a certain amount of power and thrust.

Hildred: Oh, I can generate a lot of power and thrust, I assure you.

Gable: I'm sure. Ohhhh...[clears throat]

Hildred: If you're not doing anything later, I could show you. Not to come on too strong. It's just, I only get to be around other jousters for so long.

Gable: Um...I...

Hildred: I'll let you think about it. But yeah, I'm fairly successful.

Gable [stammering slightly]: Yeah. I'm sure you are. It's a pleasure to meet you. Are we close to finished, here? Uh...

Hildred: Oh, I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable.

Gable: Oh, no, no, no, I just have been, uh, around just the same group of people for quite some time, and it's hard to talk to new people, you know?

Hildred: I didn't even tell you my name! I'm Hildred. Hildred Gastaur.

Gable: ...Pleasure to meet you.

[hgb94]

Dref: There are no such things as ghosts.

Spit: Well, there you have it. The creepiest man aboard the ship says there are no ghosts.

Dref: Wait, wait, wait. I'm not the creepiest man aboard the ship, am I?

Wendell: No, you do doctor stuff. That's real creepy.

Dref: Well, but what I...wait, who says that I'm the creepiest man aboard the ship?

Wilson: Nobody says it; it's just sort of what we all arrived at as a conclusion.