#skinny potion

[n1nthrule]

arnold rimmer would 100% join fight club btw

[nott-another-sideblog]

i don’t know why but it irks me deeply it’s not even that big of a deal but it still pains me. like no he’s real pls guys he’s in the books i promise he’s mentioned like twice but he’s there please-

edit: by put him with the ocs i mean in those posts where it’s like ‘grr x wasn’t in the canon why r they everywhere’ HE WAS IN THE CANON PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. ocs r cool as fuck btw this is not anti-oc im just pedantic

[prawns-potion-brews]

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a while..burnout is kicking my ass as of lately, and you can kind of tell here where I just feel like sketching stuff and not bothering to clean it up.

but hey, I managed to push something out, and that’s what matters..!

Sooo, I’ve been seeing a lot of flash game horror animations lately, and obviously I felt inspired. (ignore that i forgot he had a prosthetic leg. 🌝)

obviously I don’t have the programs nor the motivations to make an actual animation, but I do want to draw and write things like this here and there..like mine and possibly others’ characters in a flash game? Thatd be so fun.

[cyancherub]

taking aki, turning him over sweeping the floor with his broom top knot

HE IS SO SKINTY THAT his body already has the circumference of a broomstick. broomstick!aki.. i dress up as a witch and mount him to ride him like a broomstick thru the sky as i cackle`

[this-doesnt-endd]

The vibe had been so off like hello its my last part of summer i shoulf be engaing im tomfoolery, going to the pool, seeing movies, having fun and im here in my house applying to like 20 scholarships a day then scrolling im bed for the rest of the day

[goddessesgemstemufinds]

Love Potion Number 9 Tumbler

Love Potion Number 9 Tumbler

This is a 20 ounce stainless steel sublimated skinny tumbler with a wrap around design, clear plastic lid and straw.

$25.00

[d3stinyist1red]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴄ ᴅᴏɴᴀʟᴅs ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇʀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yandere mc donalds worker who first sees you when you ordered some food as he cooking some patties

yandere mc donalds worker who got called and caught out of his gaze, shaking his head and finally focusing on the patties that were now burnt bc he was paying more attention to you than them

yandere mc donalds worker who the next day, he got the cashier shift

yandere mc donalds worker who hopes you come back

yandere mc donalds worker who perks up when he notices your pretty face walk through the door, opening it

yandere mc donalds worker who immediately fixed his appearance, fixing his messy hair somehow and dusting off his clothes

yandere mc donalds worker who acts as if he's the main character suddenly, flipping his hair and everything while taking your order, making sure the light is hitting the right places in his face

yandere mc donalds worker who literally is fighting his urges to put a fucking love potion in your food

yandere mc donalds worker who suddenly puts his working shirt into a tiny shirt, rolling it up to his waist like damn hoe we get it ur a skinny legend🙄

yandere mc donalds worker who literally tries seducing you in front of his boss, not giving af

yandere mc donalds worker who acts as if his job was his dream job now, waiting for you patiently so you could come back to MC donalds

yandere mc donalds worker who literally cums in ur MC flurry, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he yanks on his dick, biting his lip to hold in his quiet whimpers

yandere mc donalds worker who adds a lil extra flavour in ur MC flurry

yandere mc donalds worker who literally pays for it food despite he is literally a broke ass mf

yandere mc donalds worker who wants to give you head in the Mc donalds bathroom so bad

yandere mc donalds worker who gives you origami made flowers and hearts because he's too broke to buy real gifts

yandere mc donalds worker who luvs being ur cook and cashier<333

[lesbojournals]

Poly!Marauders x Slytherin!Reader

part two here three here four here five

“Tell me why I have to go to this godforsaken Gryffindor party again?” You bugged Regulus.

He sighed in annoyance as you two roamed the halls. “Because my godforsaken Gryffindor brother is forcing me to. And if I have to go you do too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Because that’s what best friends do. Torture each other.”

You were dressed casually, black sweater hanging off of your shoulder. You wore a green crystal necklace, as well as various rings and earrings. The walk to the Gryffindor commonroom was quiet, the halls empty as you and Regulus reluctantly made your way.

“Aren’t you worried we’re going to get caught?” You continued to pester Regulus.

“No.” He answered shortly. “Sirius has got Filch’s monitoring down to a perfect science. Well, maybe not perfect, but a science nonetheless.”

You arrived to the Fat Lady’s portrait, huffing as Regulus gave the password.

As you walked inside, your sensed were overwhelmed by the bright strobe lights, loud music, and lingering scent of weed.

“Reggie!” You heard a voice call out, and you looked around to spot no one else other than Sirius Black. 

He was dressed in tight black skinny jeans and a band shirt, eyeliner smudged with a wicked smile on his face. He had his arms around his boyfriends, Remus Lupin and James Potter. Remus was dressed in his Hogwarts uniform, his white button up unbuttoned a few at the top, revealing his chest. His tie hung loosely around his neck. James was dressed in ripped jeans and a Gryffindor Quidditch sweater. All three boys had smiles on their faces, each paying attention to different things. Sirius was beckoning Regulus over, James was chugging a drink, and Remus was in a heated conversation with Lily Evans.

You tried not to grimace. Egh, Gryffindors. 

Regulus grabbed your arm as he weaved the two of you through the crowd towards his brother.

Sirius flashed you a cheeky smile as you made eye contact. “Brought another snake with you?”

“Not willingly.” You retorted. 

Regulus sighed. “You’ll get over it.” 

���Hey!” James announced rather drunkenly. “You’re in my Transfiguration class.”

You nodded, crossing your arms. “And Potions.”

That perked up Remus’ attention. “You have Potions with us?”

Before you could answer, Sirius answered. “Yea, she sits next to Snivilus.”

You let out a chuckle at the nickname for your classmate. Remus also let out a small laugh as he got up from his seat.

“She laughs?” Sirius quipped.

“On occasion.” Regulus answered before you could snap back at him.

You glanced around the party, letting the brothers bicker between each other. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to find Remus Lupin. His hair wisped over his eyes as if just swept by the wind, and his honey eyes seemed to glow under the different lights the common room had shining. You blinked a few times. 

He smiled at you, holding up a cup. “Care for a drink?”

You took the cup from him, not letting yourself smile as big as you wanted to. “What is it?”

He seemed to be looking at you in adoration. Before he could tell you, Sirius interrupted. “Think we’re trying to poison you, darling?”

Regulus quipped back. “Don’t hit on my friend, Sirius!”

“You think that was hitting on her? Please, I-”

“I think that’s enough, honey.” Remus walked forward to put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. He huffed and leaned into Remus’ touch. You felt fire light in your chest. Were you jealous?

You took a large swig of your drink, ignoring the harsh aftertaste it left in your throat. Remus looked at you in amusement, while James looked at you impressed.

He got up and grabbed your wrist, looking into your eyes. His eyes were brown like melted chocolate. He pushed up his glasses and spoke excitedly. “Wanna do shots?”

Before you could answer, he dragged you away from the group and towards a table that had an assortment of drinks on it. The drink Remus gave you must’ve been pretty strong, because your mind had no qualms with taking shots with Gryffindor Quidditch coach James Potter. Your body was starting to feel it after two or three shots, and you allowed James to put his arm around you as he guided you back to the group.

You felt heat in your face as James proudly announced, “Little snake took shots with me!”

Regulus looked at you in shock. “I am not dragging her drunk ass back to the dungeons.”

“I’m not,” You hiccuped. “I’m not drunk, Reggie.”

He sighed and pinched his nose, then glared at Sirius for introducing you to the nickname. 

“Don’t worry, she can stay with us.” Remus suggested, taking note of how you clung to James.

Regulus nodded. “I’m out of here.”

He looked at you, grabbing your head with both of his hands to force you to make eye contact with him. “Don’t drink anymore.”

James pssh’ed and held you tighter. “Dolly can do what she wants, even if that’s more shots.”

Regulus looked at Remus for help. Remus waved him off.

“I heard that Sirius is stashing some drinks up in the dorm,” He raised his eyebrows.

“I am?” Sirius asked, getting a nudge from Remus. “Right, yea, I may or may not be.”

“Upstairs!” You demanded. “The lion’s den!!”

James snorted as he stumbled with you. “This way little snake!!”

[deadmandead10845]

Brady - Fat2Fit2Fat

(243lbs) Brady works at an insurance agency in Kansas City. He’s far away from everything, and hates his job. He hates commuting and has two acquaintances and no real friends. He’s let himself go pretty badly, but he doesn’t have the will power to hit the gym or change any part of his life. Thankfully, he’s been at his company for 10 years and earns a 3 month sabbatical with full pay to use.

(243lbs) Brady took the first part of his sabbatical to hike in the mountains solo. He stumbled upon what looked like an abandoned shack with smoke coming out of the chimney. He knew nightfall would be soon so he wanted to ask the local if he could crash at their place for the night. He knocked on the door and it opened itself. He let himself in and called.

BRADY: Hello!!!

(243lbs) A mysterious figure appeared around the corner. The woman introduced herself as Cora.

CORA: I’ve been practicing witchcraft in the mountains since I was little and now I am the only one left. Some witch will reveal too much about herself and then she’s hunted by the locals. I chose to reveal my house and myself to you because I can tell you’re not from here and you have an open mind.

BRADY: I definitely have an open mind. I came here to the mountains to find myself. I am on a sabbatical trying to find some sort of motivation.

CORA: What is one thing you don’t have control over that you wish to have infinite control of?

BRADY: *looks down at his soft out of shape body and looks up*

His body has always been a sense of insecurity that made him feel inadequate and less than because he wishes he was fit.

CORA: Nothing with power, career, money?

BRADY: I just want to like how I look and control what I look like.

CORA: *rummages through the cabinet and throws some leaves into what looks like a brewing potion. Once all the ingredients were stirred in, the liquid began to glow a pale orange color.*

BRADY: Is this legit going to help me?

CORA: You drink and find out. Or you can go beg your doctor for Ozempic and forget you came here. At least this is free!

BRADY: I’m not being drugged right now?

CORA: You are, just not a bad kind.

BRADY: *takes the vial of orange liquid and drinks it*

CORA: How do you wish to look?

BRADY: I just want to lose like 75 pounds.

(165lbs) Brady’s pants fell down immediately and his blue polo shirt wore him like a dress.

BRADY: Holy shit I must be hallucinating.

CORA: You’re not but I figured you’d have this reaction. Sleep it off.

Cora snapped her fingers and Brady’s vision blacked out.

—

Brady woke up in his hotel room down at the base of the mountain. He walked to the bathroom and sure enough he was completely thin. He went to put on an outfit and quickly realized nothing in his suitcase would fit him. Everything he had was a 40” waist and all his shirts were XL. He ran through the closest Walmart holding his shorts bunched up in his hand hoping he wouldn’t drop them and bought a new pair of 30” waist shorts. He was so happy.

After his 3 months concluded, he returned to Missouri and submitted his 2 week notice. He wanted a fresh start where he could show off his new skinny body and get laid for once. He was a gay man living in the Midwest with approximately 5 blank Grindr profiles within a 25 mile radius.

(149lbs) Brady packed up all his belongings and moved to Miami. He looked in the mirror and audibly said “I wish I was a twink.” And in the blink of an eye another 15 pounds disappeared off his body. He met Javi at Twist, the local gay club near his apartment. After almost 2 years, the two fell in love and became inseparable and lived together. Javi told Brady he should start going to the gym and getting big arms and a six pack because he wasn’t super into twinks. Brady quietly looked at himself in the bathroom mirror once or twice a week asking for just 1 pound more trying to subtly get larger for Javi without alerting him to his powers given to him by the witch.

(195lbs) Brady had gotten extremely fit and did no work for it. The potion he took two years ago was unbelievable. Javi loved Brady’s new extremely fit body and Brady loved the attention. Brady however, wasn’t sure he loved how he looked. Javi was going away on business to Houston for a month, so Brady booked himself a trip to Hawaii by himself to hopefully ground himself.

(210lbs) Brady wished another 15 pounds of muscle onto his body before he left for Hawaii. He wanted to look his best for the beach so he could post photos of his body online for attention. He wasn’t the happiest, so the online attention helped. Once he landed in Hawaii he took the private boat to the small isolated island resort he had booked.

(175lbs) Brady hated how he looked so he wished 30 pounds off his body because he thought a leaner look would suit him and he tried to walk around the beach and feel comfortable but he really wasn’t sure why he wasn’t comfortable with himself. Brady had an idea, he went to the surf shop in the lobby and bought himself a pair of 2XL swim trunks and went up to his room. He bought himself a case of beers and drank away. He got in the mirror looked at himself and asked for a dad bod.

(280lbs) Brady, still very much in shape but much larger (100lbs larger to be exact) walked down the beach with his beer gut and massive arms. He was happy. He actually liked how he looked. No one recognized him from earlier and all the other guests just thought he was a new arrival to the resort. Brady went back to the surf shop and bought a 2XL Hawaiian shirt before returning home to Florida.

(305lbs) Brady was a huge guy. He wished himself even bigger and squeezed himself into the premium economy seat he booked on points and flew home to Florida. He spent nearly 12 hours total on the plane and when he walked in the door felt like everything was all wrong. He was skinny Brady in Florida, not big and beefy. Javi was due to arrive at any minute. When Brady heard the lock turning, he ran to the bathroom and wished his body back to his 195lb self.

Javi found the 2XL shirts and asked and Brady told him he was trying oversized fashion and didn’t like it, so he threw the shirt away. Brady couldn’t stop thinking about his little escape he had in Hawaii and after a few months went back to the bathroom and wished to be a bit bigger. Javi hated it so much. Javi kept telling Brady to hit the treadmill and to eat less.

(243lbs) Brady was back at the same weight he was before he met Cora the witch. However, he had so much muscle on his body he was a lot smaller than Javi still hated it. Brady loved his small belly and missed playing with the belly he once had when he was an insurance agent back in Missouri. The two attended couple’s therapy to no avail. Ultimately, it let to Brady and Javi breaking up. Javi kicked Brady out of the apartment. Just to get back at Javi, Brady lost all the weight before coming to the apartment to collect his belongings.

Brady needed a new start so he called one of his buddies in New York who was starting a boutique insurance agency and cofounded it with him.

(327lbs) Brady wanted a fresh start in New York so he bought a 3XL hoodie and sweat at the last Walmart before the Holland tunnel, and sat in traffic looking in the mirror and wished to be fat. He’d never been as big as he was now. He watched his body tighten the dress of a hoodie he had put on and fill it out. Compared to last week in Miami, he was completely unrecognizable. He was truly starting over. Once he showered in his apartment he got a look at his new fat body covered in stretch marks and rolls. Brady was generally happy with his size. The only drawback and he couldn’t find much clothing in the city stores that fit him well so he was barely able to dress well.

(327lbs) Four years went by and Brady’s joint venture had taken off. He was able to buy an apartment and afford more than ever. He seemed very content. He was overworked. One fateful day on the train he dozed off. In his dream he was even fatter than he is now. The dream was so vivid he could feel his body sloshing with every step.. when in reality the jerky subway train was sloshing him around. He missed his stop and rode the train to the end asleep. In the dream, Brady said he wanted to get fatter and…

(415lbs) He woke up. His shirt had ridden up his entire belly and his pants completely ripped. He was huge. Brady embarrassed walked to the next departing train that would get him home attracting the stares of everyone for the lack of clothing he had one, especially for his size. Brady decided to take several months remote from work after that, to give his business partner a believable timeline for his nearly 100lb weight gain.

(415lbs) Brady went to Industry, a New York gay bar and opened up his shirt in hopes he would find a chub chaser. Unfortunately he just got stares.

(451lbs) Brady had to get an entire new suit made for him because of his sheer girth. His seamstress couldn’t believe the size of him. She had made him his suit four years ago when he weighed more than a hundred pounds less. Brady knew it wasn’t going to last long because he planned to put a little more weight on. His business partner couldn’t believe the size of him either. Brady needed to remove the armrests on his desk chair so he could fit.

(485lbs) By the summer, Brady had willed another 35lbs onto his body. He attended a big party on Fire Island having fun with his friends. All of the sudden he saw a familiar face.

Javi.

BRADY: Javi???

JAVI: Hiiii…. Have we met?

BRADY: Javi it’s me

JAVI: Where have we met you look so familiar??

BRADY: It’s me, Brady

JAVI: Brady who?

BRADY: Your ex boyfriend.

JAVI: There is just no way. I thought you lost all the weight you put on.

BRADY: Then I gained it back, and then some

JAVI: Holy shit Brady you look awful, do you need me to get you a nutritionist? I am worried.

BRADY: No not at all. I am super happy the way I look.

JAVI: Weren’t you happy when half of Miami wanted to f*ck you?

BRADY: No, but I am happy now.

JAVI: Can I ask how much…

BRADY: How much I weigh?

JAVI: ….

BRADY: Four Hundred Eighty Five pounds last I checked. I don’t really fluctuate.

JAVI: God, this is just insane to me..

Javi walked away.

About 10 minutes later, Javi’s friend Andres walked by and…

ANDRES: Brady?

BRADY: Andres long time no see

ANDRES: I’m sorry Javi said all that… he’s just insecure and projecting on you.

BRADY: Yeah that’s why we broke up all those years ago.

ANDRES: Well, let me tell you. I like the change

Andres grabbed Brady’s belly from underneath and leaned in and kissed Brady on the cheek. He began to walk away.

BRADY: Wait a second, Andres!

Brady grabbed Andres’s hand and pulled him back for a real kiss. Andres’s hand found its way back to under Brady’s belly jiggling it while the pair made out.

Javi watched from a distance fuming with anger.

BRADY: Does a guy like me get to ask you for your number?

ANDRES: Definitely.

Javi walked over

JAVI: Wow Andres making out with my fat ex in front of me is really classy.

ANDRES: Sorry you’re too superficial to understand what a big guy can give you.

(508lbs) After texting for weeks, Andres invited Brady to go golfing with his friend.

ANDRES: Hey big fella.

BRADY: Hey handsome, ready to play?

ANDRES: Yes it’s been a while.

BRADY: It’s been too long for me too.

ANDRES: Shirt’s a bit small Brady…

Brady, embarrassed tried to pull the shirt down over his belly. He knew it was way too small but wanted to test Andres.

BRADY: Wow, I seem to have grown out of it…

ANDRES: Been a while since you wore it?

BRADY: I think this fit me when we met a few weeks ago.

ANDRES: Are you going to try to tell me it shrunk in the wash then?

BRADY: No, I just have put on about 25 pounds since that pool party and haven’t bothered to go shopping.

ANDRES: Wha— … how?

BRADY: Guess I’ve been hungry

Andres knew that Brady was the man for him in that moment. The two began dating.

(528lbs) Brady had gotten into the bad habit of putting 15lbs on every time he was going to be seen at an event to show that he was a growing man. He attended one of his friend’s backyard weddings and knocked over one of the displays with his huge belly.

Everyone who saw him at this point was asked if he was doing ok or if he needed anything. Some of the attendees even offering to give him a doctor referral for weight loss drugs. He assured them he was perfectly ok.

(600lbs) Brady admittedly took it too far. Brady had weighed in at 551lbs this morning. He had some room in his suit and had a big event for his company. He and his business partner were announcing the sale of their company to a big insurance company. He stood on the scale and watched the number go up until he hit 600lbs on the dot.

He was now basically 75lbs heavier than he was 4 months ago. After the sale of his company, Brady was to retire with enough money for him and his grandchildren (if he ever had any) to live comfortably.

When he got home, he totally forgot he would be facing Andres.

ANDRES: Brady…

BRADY: Hey honey.

ANDRES: Something is different

BRADY: What happened.

ANDRES: You look different. Something is just off.

BRADY: I am not sure what you are talking about.

ANDRES: Wait. Is that the suit you had made last week?

BRADY: Yes

ANDRES: Then why does it look like it’s about to pop.

BRADY: Oh yes something is different.

ANDRES: What.

BRADY: I got fatter.

ANDRES: Since this morning?

BRADY: Babe I think it’s time I tell you something.

Brady explained to Andres the whole story about his past life in Missouri. His sabbatical, meeting Cora the witch. He explained how he lost all the weight for Javi. Went to Hawaii and experimented with his body in different sizes.

ANDRES: What do you expect me to believe you have powers or something?

BRADY: Watch this

Brady walked into the bathroom, and willed himself to be a twink again. He walked out weighing 150lbs adorned with abs.

Andres walked to the kitchen and splashed cold water in his face. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

BRADY: I would never tell anyone about this.

ANDRES: You chose to be fat?

BRADY: If I didn’t I wouldn’t be living with the man of my dreams so let’s not.

ANDRES: Ok you’re scaring me you look emaciated.

BRADY: Oh yeah.

The two started to make out while Brady’s body slowly inflated back to 600lbs. Brady’s face filled out and his abs disappeared. Slowly a belly started to form along with soft supple moobs. His love handles expanded outward and his body started to widen. His thighs began to push against each other as they filled with fat.

Andres was so horny watching his boyfriend blow up to such a massive size and came hands free when he watched the fat pad swallow up Brady’s dick.

ANDRES: So how much do you weigh now?

BRADY: Let’s go see

The scale read 600 pounds.

Brady maintained 600 pounds for a while and about a year and a half into dating Andres, knew it was time. He popped the question getting down on one knee.

He couldn’t get back up after getting down which was very hot to Andres, who eagerly said yes.

(705lbs) Brady returned to the mountains. He bought three aur plane seats and filled them up with his girth. He struggled but he hiked his way all the way up to Cora’s hut wearing a suit to thank her for her potion that changed his life.

Brady knocked on the door which immediately opened. His belly knocked over a beaker off the table which led to Cora running into the room.

CORA: How did you get in here??

BRADY: I opened the door.

CORA: How did you find my house?

BRADY: I’ve been here before.

CORA: Who are you??

BRADY: Do you not remember me?

CORA: No, and I would.

She looked down at Brady’s belly.

BRADY: Oh right would this help?

Brady pulled out his phone and showed her a photo of him from about 10 years before. A photo of him and Javi together where he was less than 200lbs.

CORA: What was your name.. Bradley?

BRADY: Brady, close enough.

CORA: Did I do something wrong with the potion, brew it wrong?? I am so sorry!! Let me help you slim down.

BRADY: No, I am this big by choice. I could get down to this weight again any time.

CORA: Why?

BRADY: I was skinny for a while and I just didn’t like it. I was constantly making adjustments to my body so other men would see me as hot. My boyfriend left me when I decided to try out a *very slight* dad bod.

CORA: So you did this? You could’ve been half the size and still been fat.

BRADY: Well some days it just doesn’t feel like enough.

CORA: I never expected you to look like this. I expected you to have gotten massively jacked and been narcissistic.

BRADY: You were wrong

CORA: Very.

BRADY: I came here to thank you. It took me a long time to get up the mountain, but I knew that before long it would not be possible with my size.

CORA: You could’ve shrunken down to climb up here…

BRADY: But that isn’t me

CORA: Well I am happy.

BRADY: Being confident with my size and my body found me the best fiance ever.

CORA: You mean a chub chaser?

BRADY: —

CORA: Right.

BRADY: Well I mean you would have to be to like me at this size anyways. People stare.

CORA: I am staring.

BRADY: Well thank you for doing this for me.

CORA: Any time. Here, let me get you something.

Cora made a green cocktail of ingredients. She bottled them up.

CORA: You two are getting married?

She said looking at the Lock Screen on Brady’s phone.

BRADY: Yes

CORA: Wait until your wedding night to drink this. You both need to drink it for it to work.

BRADY: What is it?

CORA: You two will never break up or fight.

BRADY: This is perfect.

CORA: You also will never get health issues from your weight because you look like a heart attack waiting to happen.

BRADY: Hey!

CORA: So don’t have one before your wedding!

(750lbs) Brady and Andres had a lovely wedding.

The two got married and after the reception concluded, drank the potions together.

(785lbs) Brady loved going out and seeing the reactions on everyone’s faces seeing his size. He would eat for hours just for show and go home stuffed.

(830lbs) Brady was walking through Central Park. Let’s be real, he was barely moving and barely waddling. Suddenly he saw a familiar face again.

BRADY: Javi!!

JAVI: Holy fuck Brady you are huge.

BRADY: I know. Why are you here?

JAVI: I moved here for work. I got a job at an insurance company.

BRADY: You mean the one named after my last name that I just sold?

JAVI: Oh my god..

BRADY: Yup!

JAVI: What's new with you. I haven't seen you since you hooked up with my best friend at a pool party. I haven't seen him either that was so messy and rude of you.

BRADY: We got married.

JAVI: What…

BRADY: Yes we've been married for just about a year.

JAVI: Bet he didn't expect you to get fatter than you already were.

BRADY: He probably didn't but he loves it. He takes care of me and all the things I can't do anymore.

JAVI: I am so glad I left you before this happened.

BRADY: Me too. Next time you see me, I'm sure I'll be even bigger.

Andres walked up between the two of them.

ANDRES: Javi?

JAVI: This is insane. You married him??

ANDRES: Yes.. of course

JAVI: Why did you let him get this big

BRADY: I’ll answer that. He likes his men big, and I wanted to get big.

JAVI: Is that why you tried to get a dad bod all those years ago?

BRADY: Yes, and now I weigh more than eight hundred pounds.

ANDRES: 830 to be exact.

Javi stormed away.

The end.

[sideprince]

Eileen Prince

I'm relentlessly curious about how a witch from Slytherin, a house that values cunning and ambition on paper, and bloodlines/nobility in its culture, ended up living in a muggle slum.

Unfortunately for me, she's a barely mentioned character written by an author who consistently fails to portray female characters with depth or dimension. The women in Harry Potter are portrayed as either maternal or villains, or, in Ginny Weasley's case, as redeemed by their masculine traits (because Rowling's Thatcher era feminism dictates that equality for women = emulating patriarchal ideas of manhood). About as much as you can expect from an author who's as unable to acknowledge the personhood of trans women as she is to write women as actual people. This leaves a lot of room for interpreting or delving into what Eileen Prince's life may have looked like, and how that would have affected her son's development.

There are three direct mentions of Eileen in the text :

“The picture showed a skinny girl of around fifteen. She was not pretty; she looked simultaneously cross and sullen, with heavy brows and a long, pallid face. Underneath the photograph was the caption: Eileen Prince, Captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones Team.”

HBP Ch. 25

“I was going through the rest of the old Prophets and there was a tiny announcement about Eileen Prince marrying a man called Tobias Snape, and then later an announcement saying that she’d given birth to a" “ — murderer,” spat Harry.

HBP ch. 30

“Harry looked around: he was on platform nine and three-quarters, and Snape stood beside him, slightly hunched, next to a thin, sallow-faced, sour-looking woman who greatly resembled him.”

DH Ch. 33

(Shoutout to Harry James Potter, who didn't recognize Eileen's fifth year photo despite her resemblance to Snape, the teacher whose classroom he got his used Potions book from. Shoutout also to Harry James Potter who didn't connect the dots between the Prince's handwriting and Snape's, a teacher who regularly wrote instructions on the board. "I needed to make the plot work, ok?" - JK Rowling, probably.)

Other relevant excerpts:

“Snape staggered - his wand flew upwards, away from Harry - and suddenly Harry’s mind was teeming with memories that were not his: a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner ”

OoTP Ch. 26

“Harry delved into his trunk and pulled out his copy of Advanced Potion-Making before getting into bed. There he turned its pages, searching, until he finally found, at the front of the book, the date that it had been published. It was nearly fifty years old.”

HBP Ch. 16

Supplemental material re: Gobstones from JK Rowling:

"...it remains a minority sport within the wizarding world, and does not enjoy a very ‘cool’ reputation, something its devotees tend to resent. Gobstones is most popular among very young wizards and witches, but they generally ‘grow out’ of the game, becoming more interested in Quidditch as they grow older.  ... Gobstones enjoys limited popularity at Hogwarts, ranking low among recreational activities, way behind Quidditch and even Wizarding Chess." [There's an additional sentence on the Harry Potter wiki's Gobstones page: "...it is also known as 'the thinking wizard's Quidditch.'"]

A few conclusions can be drawn from what little information we're given about Eileen:

She's described as "cross and sullen" around the age of 15, and as "sallow-faced, sour-looking" when she's older.

She's captain of the Gobstones club around her fifth year, so she likely marched to the beat of her own drum - given that Gobstones isn't particularly popular - and owns it proudly enough to take, or even seek out, a leadership role.

The sport is described as "the thinking wizard's Quidditch" which would imply Eileen was more interested in intellectual challenges and was clever (and can be paralleled with a young Severus' comment about "if you'd rather be brawny than brainy" to James Potter when they first meet on the Hogwarts Express).

Her marriage and the birth of her son are both announced in the paper, which might mean the family she came from was of some importance or note, or perhaps something else... but we'll get to that.

If we assume that Severus' secondhand copy of Advanced Potion Making was originally Eileen's (reasonable, though there is no textual evidence) then its publication date is likely around the time she was a sixth year, given that this particular text was specific to students beginning to prep for N.E.W.T. exams. Harry begins his sixth year in 1996 when the book is "nearly fifty years old," so we can assume Eileen was 16 years old sometime not long after 1946. Severus was born in 1960, which would mean Eileen was in her mid-late 20s at the time.

Her marriage was dysfunctional at best, abusive at worst. As per a Pottermore post that is still up on WizardingWorld.com: "...the desperately lonely and unhappy childhood [Severus] had with a harsh father who didn’t hold back when it came to the whip." Based on this, we can assume Tobias was abusive, and given Eileen's cowering as he shouted at her, she presumably feared him.

From these bits of information emerges the image of a woman who either had a surly personality, or at the very least was guarded, though perhaps just formal. There isn't really any difference in how her face is set when she's in an everyday setting like King's Cross, or when she's having her picture taken for the Gobstones Club. It's possible she was a stern, unsmiling person, but it's also possible - given that her wedding and child were announced in the paper - that she came from a family of some standing and was raised to conduct herself with hallmarks of British class, such as dignity and unaffectedness. After all, there are several wizarding families - such as the Potters - who are wealthy purebloods with social standing but are not part of the Sacred 28. Additionally, the Gobstones Club portrait would have been taken around the mid-1940s, when portraits were formal and their subjects did not often smile, and given that we see only a snippet of Eileen, we don't have enough information that she was unhappy or sour. It's also important to remember that we see her portrait and Snape's memory of her through Harry's perspective and, like his perception of Snape himself, this may convey Harry's biases.

We also know from the text that Snape had a house in a deserted part of Cokeworth, a fictional Midlands town that presumably had a collapsed milling industry, at the end of a street called Spinner's End. There's a great thread that goes into details about the kind of 2 up 2 down house it would have been, and we can assume that this is Snape's family home given that we know he and Lily grew up in Cokeworth. For all intents and purposes, the conclusion we can draw from this being the Snape family's home in the 60s is that they were working class and cripplingly poor. Most estates like this had been cleared by the 60s, and no longer exist today.

This begs the question: how did a witch from a possibly well-off family end up in an abusive marriage in an irrelevant slum?

Buckle up kids, we're leaving the world of textual references and veering into deep meta territory now. I won't label any of this as head canon because I'm not set on these interpretations, and am just drawing conclusions from the text, but some of it may be a bit loose even for meta.

If Eileen was 16 years old not long after 1946, then she would have finished school in the late 40s, possibly even 1950. While some people (including past me) posit the theory that Tobias may have been injured in WWII and his injuries debilitated him, forcing him to go on the dole and affecting his mental health, I'm increasingly skeptical of this theory. It would make more sense if Eileen had known him before he was drafted/enlisted and had committed to a relationship with him, which would then have changed when he came back from the war and was altered. If we assume Eileen's age based on the idea that it was her own copy of Advanced Potion Making Severus used, then she would still have been at school during WWII (which makes an interesting parallel with Severus' own experience of spending the bulk of the first wizarding war against Voldemort as a student at school).

I do think, however, that there's merit in the theory that Tobias suffered some kind of altering injury and that he wasn't necessarily abusive before Eileen committed herself to him. It makes little sense for a Slytherin graduate who was confident and self-posessed enough to be the face of an unpopular club to be drawn to a partner so abusive his shouts caused her to cower and who whipped his child freely. If, however, he was a charming, happy man when they met who suffered a life-altering injury, the trauma of which left him a shell of his former self, then someone like Eileen might stick around for the sake of the parts of his old self she can still see in him.

It's interesting that she didn't seem to use her magic to protect herself or her son, or even to dress her son in clothing that fit, but we know from the text that depression can cause a wizard's powers to wane:

“...it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen”

HBP Ch. 13 (Dumbledore talking about Merope Gaunt)

The fact that the Snapes retained the house in Spinner's End seems to indicate that they continued to live there even when the local industry dried up and the slum was cleared as workers were moved to other parts of the country where they were needed (presumably what happened given *gestures at British history*). The most likely explanation for this would be that Tobias wasn't able to work, and perhaps did suffer an injury, only it was at work, and not during the war. This would mean the family lived on the dole (ie. welfare) and also that he would have spent a lot more time at home. It would also explain his anger and frustration that led to abusive behavior (which isn't to say that disabled people are abusive by any means, but it would have been emasculating for a man who considered himself the breadwinner in the 60s, and chronic pain coupled with limited abilities would give anyone a short fuse).

Moreover, this living situation seems to indicate that there is no additional support coming from anywhere. Where is Eileen's family? Why were they not helping? There's no indication in the text that there is any connection with them at all. We can infer from Snape's memories that, as a child, he learned what he knew about the magical world from his mother. This implies that she talked to him about it a fair amount, and his conviction that he and Lily were going to Hogwarts well before they got their letters also implies that Eileen expected him to go there and was set on her son having a magical education, despite how little she seemed to use her own powers.

Severus knows a lot about the wizarding world as a child, including that prisoners are sent to Azkaban and that it's guarded by Dementors, Hogwarts' house structure and what to expect when he and Lily get there, and about the Statute of Secrecy and the laws around it. When Lily asks him if it makes a difference being Muggleborn, Severus hesitates before replying no, presumably because he's aware of pureblood bias being a part of wizarding culture.

Perhaps that's the reason Eileen's family doesn't seem to be in the picture. My own theory is that Eileen hadn't planned to commit herself to Tobias long-term, and Severus was an accidental outcome of an innocent tryst in which a young Eileen, an educated witch from a well to do pureblood family, was having fun slumming it with a working class muggle and ended up pregnant. While we don't know the wizarding world's attitude around pregnancy and abortion, we do know it's a conservative and classist society that parallels muggle British culture fairly closely, and that the late 50s/early 60s were a time when an out of wedlock baby would have been considered a disgrace.

Add to that the anti-muggle bias of a pureblood family and it sounds like Eileen was disowned her for her mistake (and don't @ me, but even though I know that not all Slytherins are purebloods, it does seem to be a persistent cultural value of the house reaching back to Salazar Slytherin himself, so Eileen's being sorted into it can reasonably be taken as an indication of her blood status). Perhaps the marriage and birth announcements in the Daily Prophet were put in by Eileen herself, if she was a woman from a family where this was customary. It may have been her way of letting her family know of the events, or even of asserting herself and even deliberately defying them, announcing to the whole wizarding world that a Prince married and had a child with a muggle. It makes sense that the girl who wasn't just in the Gobstones club, but became captain, would also say to herself, why shouldn't I have my marriage announced in the paper like everyone else in the family?

It's worth noting that mid-late 20s is pretty young to have a baby in the wizarding world, where the life expectancy and child bearing years are much longer than they are for a muggle. According to the Harry Potter wiki:

"Wizard life expectancy in Britain reached an average 137¾ years in the mid-1990s, according to the Ministry of Divine Health ... Wizards in general have a much longer life expectancy than Muggles, usually living two or three times as long as their non magical counterparts, some living even longer than that depending on circumstances. In addition, seeing as James Potter's parents had him "late in life,” witches likely have significantly longer childbearing years than Muggle women."

Although we see several characters in Severus' generation getting married and having kids not long after leaving school, there's a mention in the text that a lot of people were doing this during Voldemort's reign, as the fear he inspired made people more eager to get a move on with life since they thought they might die any day (I think Mrs. Weasley says this but I can't find the quote, @ me if you do). It's clear this wasn't the norm in the wizarding world. Eileen was a Slytherin, a house that values cunning, ambition, and strong wizarding heritage. Something must have gone very wrong in Eileen's life for her to end up having a child so young and living in a muggle slum.

And so it's possible Eileen Prince found herself pregnant and alone, having been disowned by her family to save face in light of her disgrace, and dependent on the only person she was still close to, the father of her child. It's the kind of storyline that Rowling would write, and it would parallel fairly closely the story of Voldemort's mother, thus adding another to the long list of similarities between Voldemort and Snape.

Lorrie Kim makes an interesting point when she talks about how Snape has a strong reaction to other people having a love life or romantic experiences (the context being Rowling's intention of his love for Lily being romantic and unrequited), but doesn't react particularly strongly to mothers sacrificing themselves for their children, whereas Voldemort does. Her insight, and I think it's a reasonable one, is that Severus accepts the idea of mothers making sacrifices for their children, whether it's Lily giving her life for Harry or Narcissa risking all she did to ask for his help in protecting Draco, because his own mother protected him from his father as much as she could.

There's a lot of room for interpretation on what Eileen's relationship with her son looked like, and what it says about her own state. She may have prioritized not angering Tobias to protect Severus, who as a child might have perceived her actions as a form of rejection. At the same time, she seems to have prepared him thoroughly for life in the magical world, perhaps in the hope that he would find his place in it and escape home. Perhaps she missed it and told him so much about it so she could live through her own memories.

The only time we see her argue with Tobias, in Severus' memory, she's cowering as he shouts. We know from JK Rowling that Tobias used corporal punishment liberally, which implies Eileen didn't stop him despite her magical abilities. We also see in the text, however, that while at school Severus stood up for himself against bullies and fought back, and that he was an exceptionally clever and powerful wizard. As an adult he was brave enough to face Dumbledore when he betrayed Voldemort, and later fought against Voldemort right under his nose (or lack thereof). So it stands to reason that at some point Severus began to stand up against Tobias too.

How much of that was Eileen's influence, or the result of Severus seeing her acceptance of her fate and rejecting it for himself, is hard to say. As for what happened to Tobias and Eileen that their house was Severus' by the mid-90s and they were nowhere in sight, I don't think there's enough information in the text to infer.

[wolfpants]

come in, the water's lovely | a drarry fic

Happy (early) birthday, dearest @getawayfox! I wrote this little fic for you, knowing how much you love established relationship smut. Thank you so much for being a most wonderful friend, for all our laughs over DMs and our adventures past and in the future!

Come In, the Water's Lovely | 3.5k

Tags: EWE, post-Hogwarts, POV Harry, established relationship, married couple, researcher!Draco, potioneer!Draco, field trip, Madeira, forests, rain, swimming, skinny dipping, waterfalls, bathing/washing, shower sex, hiking, tent sex, fluff and smut, flashes of a domestic life, hand jobs, anal fingering, blow jobs, brief mention of rimming, anal sex, flip fuck, switching, hung!Harry

In the lush wilderness of Madeira, Harry and Draco reunite.

“I’ve missed you,” he says again, kissing Draco’s ear, wrapping his arms around him in a fierce hug. “Like you wouldn’t even believe.” “I believe it,” Draco says. “I’ve had far too many lonely, clinical wanks in this shower.” Harry laughs against Draco’s wet, soap-sweet skin and lets his hands fall to his waist. He steals another soft kiss. “Want me to help with that? Reviews say I’m not very clinical at all. I’m positively… extravagant.” Draco bends his head forward again and nips Harry’s lip, then soothes it with a slow swipe of his tongue. “A giver of deluxe wanks.”

read on ao3

[lyralit]

writers' game:

random number generator from 1 - 20. whatever it lands on, add that character to your plotline

fairy that collects vintage fingernails

space guard orc with a soft spot for teen flicks

overzealous evil senator

twins that start conversations out loud and end them in their heads

found family between a space barbarian grandparent and a polygot chicken

a baker who only speaks in riddles

dogman

a mute writer

enemies linked to each other (one gets hurt, so does the other)

a companion turtle whose only vowel is "o" (most of their vocabulary is "oh no!")

pixie backseat driver

sunglasses + flipflops wearing ancient wizard

magistrate who is able to talk out of any situation

witch who treats every potion like a chemistry class (counts the molecules in each bottle)

witch who throws in a random ingredient every time (think "george's marvellous medicine")

child who has never seen a narwhal before, only heard of them in stories (lots of pointing and "oh, it's that! isn't it!")

skinny quarterback who can take down a whole team

human-alien alien translator who only knows Ancient Greek

guy who breaks into houses, steals their items, and replaces them with nicer ones

police chief who is head of the local mafia

[lavylu]

Hermione is dating male Slytherin, reader who for a year, he brings her to the woods or lake for a their date and maybe fuck

You need to Relax

I’m going to give the male reader the last name Barnaby.

Your eyes slowly looked Hermione up and down as she studied. She was biting her lower lip and her eyebrows were furrowed. She leaned forward exposing her cleavage in the low cut shirt she was wearing.

You gently set down the quill you were writing with to watch Hermione. She was frantically studying for her potions exam the next day. She was completely frazzled and it made you horny.

The way she was sucking on the end of her pen when she studied drove you up a wall. Her leg moved slightly drawing your attention. She was wearing her knee high socks. The soft material seemed to inviting.

Before you could stop yourself you placed a hand on her thigh, palming her warm skin. She squirmed under you as you teased the top of her stockings. Your hand trailed upward and soon you were gently rubbing her core.

She mewled at you as she set down her book. “Barnaby, we cant. Not right here.”

She gestured around to everyone else that was studying in the courtyard. You rolled your eyes but stopped. However, as soon as you did Hermione whined. Oh this was going to be fun.

“Baby how about I quiz you? Everyone you get right earns you a kiss.”

She nodded her head eagerly as she passed the book to you. You started with easy questions earning several kisses from your girlfriend.

The more times you kissed her the more hot and bothered she appeared to be getting. You smirked to yourself as you started to ask her harder questions. When she got these correct you swirled your tongue inside her mouth. She moaned when you pulled away.

You continued to ask her questions rewarding her with kisses that made her moan frantically rub her things together. You chuckled at her neediness.

“Now baby as far as I remember you said we couldn’t do anything here where people might see.”

She frowned at you. “Barnaby!”

You laughed as you pulled away leaving her book on the stone slab. “You seem in good shape anyway.”

. . .

You were walking out late at night. The perks of being a prefect. You decided to make your ways towards the Black Lake. It was your favorite midnight spot. And it totally wasn’t because you would skinny dip with your girlfriend in the nice cool waters.

As you approached the deck you saw a faint glow. Hermione was sitting there cross legged as she was looking over her potions book again. You chuckled as you sat down beside her.

Her eyebrows were furrowed again. Her eyes were crossing. She clearly had been studying for hours. You took the book out of her hands much to her dismay.

“Barnaby! Give me back my book!”

You just tutted as you held it out of her reach. “Now you need to relax. You got your panties all in a twist.”

She huffed at you and pouted her pretty little lips. Wow. You got distracted as you imagined them being around your cock. You were broken out of your daze as you felt Hermione climb into your lap.

She straddled you to try and get the book. You laughed as you threw it behind you. She scrunched her nose in anger.

“Baby girl,” your hands went to her blouse and pulled the shirt open. “You need to relax.”

Hermione gasped as your lips made contact with her perky breast. Your teeth grazed her collarbone before pulling her bra off with your teeth.

She shuddered in your lap. You smirked as you discarded her blouse and top on the deck. She threw her arms around you and pushed her boobs into your chest. She moved her hips moaning at the friction. She wasn’t wearing any panties so you felt her slickness coat your pant leg.

“You little whore. I bet you love this. Not wearing any panties and getting your boyfriends leg all wet.”

She mewled as you bucked your hips up into hers. Her hands went to pull your tie off and she threw it to the side.

You smirked as she practically ripped your shirt off. You pushed her off and she immediately took her skirt off. She kicked off her shoes and socks and then she was standing completely nude in front of you.

You undid your belt and slowly undid your zipper. She was bouncing from foot to foot as your cock sprang free. It’s tip was swollen and red. She quickly got down on her knees and stuck her tongue out.You were getting your submissive girl tonight.

She licked her lips as you took a step towards her. You took your cock in one hand and pressed the tip to her pouty lips. She gladly sucked. You moaned as she pulled your entire length into her mouth. She moaned around you as she ran her tongue up the vein on the underside.

Your hands went into her hair moving her face back and forth. Her eyes rolled back as your tip reached the back of her throat. She had slobber rolling down her chin. She brought her hands up to your balls and fondled them in her hands. She caressed the sensitive skin and gave a gentle tug.

You leaned your head back as your duck began to twitch. You pulled out hearing a pop from her swollen lips. She frowned up at you as you took your cock in your hands.

You brought your cock up and aimed at her face. She gladly stuck her tongue out as you cummed all over her face. Your cum dripped down her mouth and onto her chin. She moaned as she swallowed the cum on her tongue.

You smirked to yourself when you saw your masterpiece. Her breasts reflected the moonlight and she had made a mess on the deck with her arousal. Your smirk only increased when you saw her lick your cum off her fingers.

You checked your watch and saw you still had an hour left of your guys’ patrol. It was going to be long night.

[bokunoheros]

ཐིཋྀ KINKTOBER - day 12 squirting : shouta aizawa/eraserhead

warnings : afab reader, reader and aizawa are married, y’all have a cat, pussy slapping (pun probably intended), this is doo-doo dog shit, like this actually sucks, doo doo fart ass, dookie, poo poo fart, smegma, this fic reads like what sharting yourself feels like, this fic smells like the family bathroom at walmart, we’re fucking twelve (not literally), don’t expect anything else genuinely, butt, pretend this was never posted, PLEASE, day 12 is NOT REAL, THEY HIT THE PENTAGON— MR PRESIDENT GET DOW— bill gates did it, bill cypher is canon, squirting, fingering idk, eating ass, butthole rimming, 2024 election, ellen digestive did 9/11, Trump x Biden, 9/11, hilary emails included, proof of aliens existence, video footage of the area 51 raid, UFOs, alien butt sex, wrong usage of condoms, anal probing, biological dna harboring, sickle cell anemia, KLANCE is canon, Steven universe, major character death, gem fusions, love children, feel like cinderella naega byeonhae, NETFLIX ORIGIONAL, only on Hulu, Elsa x Jackfrost smut, playdough, me x YOU, tiana x nanami au, your mom x me, sarcamouche x kazuha, xiao x venti, improper use of crack cocaine, making herion, mentions of drug mules, dead dove: do eat, improper use of magic, meth making, cocaine balloons bursting, Harry Potter x Snape, hermoine x the whomping willow, herobrine x steve, unfortunate uses of pixels, bakudeku slime, hnnng harder daddy, mmhppgh— yeah yeah right there, cum consumption, cumflation, feeder fetish, oh yeah, koolaid man x me, very improper use of koolaid packets, nickacaco avocado weight loss journey, apology videos (tears included), , banjos, jake paul dcead body in forest footage (NOT CLICKBAIT), live leak posts, webtoon origional, anal stretching, did you know the human anus can stretch to the size of a raccoon?, now you know that, and also, the sun will explode June 17th, 3028, character flaws, bodily anatomy, your balls will explode on october 21st at 7:99am, my gleeby deeby ass, futurama, Micheal Angelo, improper use of abortions, medical surgery on a grape, plastic surgery, baby killing, tampon usage, description of endangered animal poaching, Mario Kart, tuberculosis, ima get it donnnne oh aye oh aye oh, butt stuff, dazai x chuuya, atsushi x akutagawa, mpreg, mad cow disease, omegaverse, ranpo x me, Dream SMP, matpat x scott cowthan, michael afton x freddy fazbear, aggressive typing, bath salts, bath salt inhalation, whippets, galaxy gas, all might is a bottom, skinny men, carrington x shigaraki, anorexia anorexia anorexia, afo x nana shimura, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, TW gun law debates, tenko x mon, Amazon delivery, school shootings, talk of gun laws, bad dragon toys, silicon, aoyama belly button leaking, lego ninjago r34, ninja turtles r34, bloody mary r34, kamala harris r34, tenya iida x tensei iida, jesus x judas, luigi x bowser, sonic and shadow makeout sesh, i fuck your dad, suck his dick reallll nice, penis sounding with dirty twig, orgasm denial, overstimulation, xenotransplants, oviposition, diaper Taco Bell, people die, revival, dark magic, ecoterrorism, global warming, chemical warfare, wanda x the winter soldier, haruhi x tamaki suoh, cosmo x wanda, comicon, bronies, pegasisters, mentions of twilight sparkle dying, twiilight sparkle x mordecai, air planes, shootings stars, night skies, NLE Choppa, we could really use a wish bro, TuPac is back, floppa carts: plompy haze, death of a platform known as tumblr, twitter referred to as X, elon musk creates sex robot that specializes in butthole sex, Tesla sex robot, androids that FUCK, necrophilia, android phone usage, pheromones, premonitions and words of Jesus, divine intution, potion making, heavenly visions, satan, satanic visions, the heavenly principles, celestia is above mondstadt, spiritual healing, veganism, white washing, canon hispanic hanta sero, futanari, blasian mina ashido, bovine spongiforms, Tenya Iida virginity loss, bakugo is a fucking faggot, handjobs, footjobs, peaceful protests, the government is controlling you through vaccines, asian fishing,

vaccines might cause autism, freshwater fishing, they will, xenophobia, hentai hucows, incest, usage of slurs, starbucks coffee, lizards run the world, obama might be a lizard, inappropriate use of baby oil, gojo x getou, day twelve never existed and it was all a lie.

word count : 420k words and 69 pages

🐙 note : we are not locked in we are as loose as a ran through sorority president

🦊 note : i am. i have no words. idek what happened. we ran out of time so we went with the option we thought might make people giggle (no we didnt we did this bullshit for ourselves)(your regularly scheduled content will resume tmr!)

🪲 note : i ain’t fucking sorry

you adored your husband—shouta aizawa—so much so, that you were his dedicated housewife. he made plenty of money as a pro hero and… enough… as a teacher, so that left you to take care of the house and your shared cat. though when he did come home he was way different than he was at work, usually at work he was all nonchalant and cold but at home he was sweet and caring, sometimes even a bit rough. his students would definitely describe him as laid back and uninterested, yet when you were around they were in awe of his personality shift.

[hirokkixxx]

James didn’t fall in love with Severus when he met him a few years after graduation at the Potions Masters' conference, nor when he invited him to dinner after a successful mission to celebrate a new patent. No, it happened much earlier—back before their first year at Hogwarts, when he saw that skinny, odd boy in a shabby, oversized robe with those large raven-black eyes in the train compartment.

Little James, who had always gotten whatever he wanted with just a point of his finger, didn’t expect rejection or the disdain in those black eyes. He couldn’t understand why—he had only told the boy the truth about the House of snakes. He thought it would be better if he ended up with them, the brave and honest lions.

Years later, James often wondered how things might have turned out if he had been more polite, and Severus a little less stubborn.

[gassyandnasty]

The Jock Formula

Andrew was a nerd with all the stereotypes: glasses, slicked back hair, and looked like his mother dressed him everyday. He wanted to change but his arms were to frail to heavy lift, and his chicken legs barely supported his weight.

His friends shared the same problem, since they were the only guys Andrew could hang out. The jocks, popular girls, even the 'woke' group ignored them, they were sick and tired that the high grades and even helping people with exams wasn't paying off.

"What I like to call the "Jock Formula" is ready. I had to sneak into the locker room after P.E yesterday to collect the last ingredient: a drop of the nastiest sweat. I almost got beaten off by Josh, but I managed to collect one." Said George.

Andrew wasn't a top tier nerd cause George existed. Slicked back hair, glasses, braces, and his mother ACTUALLY dressed him. But Andrew was very interested in the topic this time.

"The only thing is that I didn't test yet" George states.

"We can clearly see." Jokes Andrew, getting some laugh by his other friends.

"Always making jokes, Andrew, but this time I think we can get some real results, the only thing is that this flasc contains the amount of ingredients needed only for one person. But its too risky." George says calculating.

"I see, well... you should stop with those experiments, I can only see that flasc giving you explosive diarrhea." Andrew states, getting more laugh.

"Give me some credit, Andrew, what if it works?" George ignores the joke and continues "This experiment could change lives."

"I believe in your potions, only that I don't want anyone turning into frogs. Leave that here so I can help you with the research, so that we don't leave any risk." Andrew says.

"You are right, two heads think better than one." George says, leaving the flasc with Andrew.

All came to plan. Andrew knew that George was brilliant enough to create something like that, but only for one person? He couldn't lose the chance, the ingredients were too hard to find, and what could ensure him that George would drink that first and leave them alone after? The first test should be him, and ignoring all risks, Andrew chugged it down with no remorse, nothing could be worse as being doomed as a whimp his whole life.

Indeed, that flasc got him feeling ill, and he passed out.

Waking up the next day, Andrew thought that all was a fevre dream, and felt guilty of ruining George's work by drinking it, but when he looked in the mirror, shock covered his face:

He got taller, stronger and manlier. Big biceps pumped as he flexed, his pectorals were now defined, his abs covered his ex-skinny tummy, followed by huge muscular thighs, and when he turned around: BAM! A toned and plump ass to go with it.

"Wow... it worked!" Andrew exclaimed and got surprised that even his voice was deeper now, he couldn't wait to get to the campus and show the results!

His clothes weren't fitting now, but all he needed was his pair of large blue shirts he had, that were not so large right now, since it outlined every curve of his legs now. Now that any shirt fit him, he decided to go without it, and display his huge pecs to everyone.

This time, everybody was looking at him, people that never glanced an eye before were now oogling at his muscles, and the first guys to greet him today were not his group of nerds, but the members of the manliest frat on the campus.

"Hey, dude, are you new here?" asked Josh, while Andre was too stunned to speak.

"Y-yeah...I" Andrew was about to answer when he was cut by George exclaming: "ANDREW?"

"Andrew? Why is that guy referring to you? Are you going to hang out with those losers?" Josh asks.

And something shifted on Andrew, now he had a reputation, the team's captain greeting him, chicks trying to sneak their numbers on his backpack. Josh was right, he couldn't hang out with those losers anymore.

"Who the hell is Andrew, whimp?" he asks with his now booming and intimidating voice.

George shakes and say "It worked, Andrew! Why don't you-"

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRPRRPRPRPPPPPPPP

As George was speaking, Andrew decided to cut him with a nasty and loud belch, it roared out of his mouth, right on George's face.

Josh and his friend high-fived Andrew, while George gagged with the manly smell.

"It's Drew now, loser" the new jock worked up a huge wad of spit and fired on George's face, while he looked up at him with betrayal on his eyes, almost crying.

"Nice, dude! You owned him" Josh says. "Don't you want to sign up to the frat?"

"Damn right" Drew said as his belly rumbled. "Wait, one more thing." He grabbed the back of George's head and shoved into his ass, he lifted one leg to put on a show, and managed to rip a loud and very deep fart on his face.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

That made everyone around laugh and clap to the new 'alpha' of the campus, as they left the nerd there gagging for fresh air.