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Gabriel (/ˈɡeɪbriəl/) - “Strength of God”, more accurately “God is my strength” (or, what does it mean to be the righteous hand without a body?)
#ultrakill#v1#gabriel#THINKING about angelic names tonight#specifically gabriel having no proper sense of self due to his very name being an extension of god#it is his position. it is his job. not so much a name as it is a role#to fail is to lose himself because he is what he is made to do and nothing else#and he is dedicated to it. if he fails he can protect no one save no one#gabriel is said to have a radiant personality and i think he truly cares#it's part of his conflict in carrying out the terrible orders that he does#but he must because he is made to be strong and to obey orders#and when he finally loses he is not just abandoned by god but by what he was#ALL OBVIOUS i know but how his name relates to his core identity made me go insane IG...#ANYWAY i could say a lot more about this comic but. whew!!!#doodle tag#blood cw#injury cw#most importantly just know i'm a 'that's just his skin' truther#so he gets lots and lots of scars
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JUST READ EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE ZOMBIE AU !!!!! LOVE THIS SO MUCH WAAAA
you mentioned that ritsu, by the end of the story, is broken and practically insane. once shigeo is cured and "back to normal," i'm guessing that ritsu doesn't exactly go back to "being normal" either :( he'd gone through too much to be the same after everything... do you think he ever goes back to old habits and treats mob like he's still a zombie, only to be shellshocked at the fact that it's all over?
also this au is very reminiscent of this post (grieving the undead) https://www.tumblr.com/applejuicewerewolf/735120232698593280/no-need-to-keep-this-in-the-tags-youre
WEEEE IMSO GLAD U LIKE IT it's the direct result of my brainworms
yes ritsu is definitely Not Normal by the end and he should be put into therapy immediately. poor kid's seen way too much at way too young of an age, and he's been put through unreal amounts of stress that is definitely not good for a growing brain. he most certainly does not go back to "normal" when mob is cured, and much like his brother, he's never quite the same as he was before
he Absolutely has trouble squashing old habits, yes. he tends to just Do Shit for mob that he's fully capable of doing now, no matter how simple, bc as a zombie mob couldn't rly do all that. he opens food packages for him automatically, he unlatches doors even though mob is perfectly capable of Figuring Out a Lock. sometimes when it's raining ritsu will even pull mob's hood over his head—he used to do that for him when he was a zombie, to keep the rain off him, even if zombie mob didn't rly give a damn if it was raining or not
if mob were anybody else, he'd prolly find it a bit insulting, but instead he finds it kind of amusing most of the time
sometimes he grabs mob's hand and leads him around and it's only when they're like halfway there that he realizes what he's doing. mob doesn't particularly mind, but when his goal is elsewhere and they're aiming for different places he has to go "ritsu ..." and it's this awkward blinking session like . oh .right. yes.ofc
i think mob would ? maybe get a little annoyed at the hovering that ritsu totally unintentionally does. he hovers so closely bc zombie mob never rly minded, or ,, noticed. so now that he's back to "human" levels of awareness it is . extremely obvious. and it's not even that ritsu is Worried, it's just like he's spent so long Hovering and Fretting that it's just kinda second nature to him now
it's a strange role-reversal—it's very weird for mob to wake up and have scattered memories of the last two years, and suddenly feel like he's the younger brother instead. ritsu is now the caretaker, and it's... strange. and honestly, the first real goal mob has in mind after waking up and recovering for a while is settling back into the role of older brother. it's important to him
but much like how reigen now has trouble corralling that kid, mob has some difficulty getting ritsu to settle back into it too. he's too high-strung and stressed and permanently scarred to rest and let people take care of him, too used to being the caretaker himself. for the longest time he was forced into the mindset of, "you stop, you die," so ritsu keeps going bc his instincts r shot and he feels like he's in danger all the time
after a while of gentle nudging, mob gets the hang of convincing ritsu to lean on people, to lean on him, but mob is quietly distraught at the overall state of ritsu's mental well-being. it takes him a while to rly get a grasp of how bad it truly is, but once he realizes the damage, he's .. so fuckin upset w himself for letting this happen to his brother
as if it's rly his fault at all, but he regrets being slow and getting overrun by that zombie horde to begin with. maybe if he hadn't turned, ritsu would be a lot better off now—they woulda been able to join a settlement, and live in a place where there is supplies and food and clothing and other people to talk to other than your mumbling brother who no longer fully understands you. it likely would've spared him a lot of trauma
and alsoYES that post is EXACTLY it the concept of mourning a person u still see every day is ougougouhoguhg ,., .,witsu ..................
#qktalks#kriber#zombie au#ritsu is so fuckin elated when mob wakes up and shows all the good signs of progress#and it sorta all catches up to him those first couple of days of mob being awake#the entire time he's out and letting the cure undo most of the damage#ritsu‚ mentally‚ is like.on pause#he's just Waiting.and waiting. and not letting himself get his hopes up and not letting himself lose all hope either#he's cultivated a careful middle ground that he stands on with trembling legs but he stands on it nonetheless#and the first time mob actually speaks to him with real words that make sense in the order they are spoken ritsu loses that middle ground#and he's.a bit emotional for a while. and who can blame him yaknow. kid's been through hell.kid's Going through hell#he tears up and cries at a lot of little things. like mob giggling#or finally seeing those eye bags fade a bit and noticing color in his skin again#or lying his head on his chest and noticing his heartbeat is faster now. it was slower as a zombie#a change like this‚ one he's waited and worked for for 2 long years‚ is smth he has trouble adjusting to again#sometimes he rly still can't believe mob is back and then he gets happy and emotional all over again when it hits him that it's over
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I cant wait to take care of my hair / skin better again <3 I need to lock in and since school is coming up, better late than never🥺✌🏽🤭 also thx for the likes on my posts and reblogs 💗💗💗💗💗
#ordered from sephora#cerave#mielle#cantu#hair products#my hair#new hairstyle#better skin#sensitive skin#self care#self love#treating tumblr like a diary#taking care of myself#confession#babygirl things#girlblog ♡#dollie#girlcore#girl hysteria#kawaiicore#cutecore#♡♡♡#pinkcore#mine
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It's honestly crazy how badly I (we) need human connection and intimacy.
#I decide to go on ONE date with one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen after weeks of ignoring him#and I even tell him straight up that I'm going through things and not tryna do NOTHIN#and even with all that#he's so lovely#surprises me with roses#keeps forgetting to order because kept being “lost in [my] eyes”#stays totally respectful and doesn't try to push any boundaries#and today I'm like wow#in such a good mood#even doing my hair and skin care#dancing around while cleaning my house#finally understanding this self care shit#all because had a moment of human connection#no fucking wonder I've been STRUGGLING#it's wild
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May I introduce you to my first demon pillar oc, Valefor
#he is pathetic and loves to collect red things 😔#despite being an asshole he is kind of the ‘weird uncle’ type#not the Alabama kind of weird but he is old and needs his beauty sleep and his 72 step skin care routine#I actually have a ton of shitpost with him but I think that should go to different post#anyways you have questions pls ask 🙏😔#I would be more than happy to answer them#fgo#Valefor#oc#fate grand order#demon pillar
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Moodboard for my Noble human mage rook summit he/his/lords of fortune.
#spoiled rich arrogant cunning#thinks the sun should revolve around him#father is both cruel and tyrannical#once chained him with magic nullification cuffs to punish him for not completing a mission his father ordered him to do#let’s just say he was bed ridden for a month#is the only child/heir so was expected to be the best in EVERYTHING#was made into a human weapon for his fathers plan to take over orlais#mother doesn’t really care to busy entertaining her lovers#tho he is arrogant he doesn’t want to be like his father#baby just wants love even tho he sometimes repels it#LI is lucanis#loves to get under lucanis skin#likes to talk to spite hell sometimes indulges spite when lucanis won’t#makes I wanna f*** eyes at lucanis poor man doesn’t know what to do#his father tried to make him tranquil cause he didn’t approve of his life choices#in the end enough was enough and ended up killing his family faking his own death taking what he could of the wealth and fled.#his family is the oldest and most influential family of orlais#best friends with bellara adores her really.#intrigued about solas#lucanis is on edge with summit sometimes because he sees the hunger in his eyes for more power#powerful mage#his father conducted a ritual that would enhance his magic more#it worked but summits body sometimes can handle the magic which causes him immense pain from time to time#has to take medicinal potions to relieve him of the pains#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#da4#da4 rook
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it’s just like, the more i think about post-chapter 5 fortnite the more i get pissed off
#like Cool now it takes 3x the work for a skin to be made because they need to make 2 different varients for it and Cool now the battle pass#has less vbucks because they have to fit in rocket racing lego and festival cosmetics that nobody cares about and Cool now cars can’t be#unique anymore because they all need to have a specific set of features (like the boost) in order to make up for all the different types of#cosmetics they’re forcing you to buy instead of each type of car having its own uses#hayden.txt
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i should be allowed to murder people
i want to cover their homes in their own viscera this isn't directed at anyone in particular but i think i should be allowed to do this
#jkkk its directed @ that one bitch in enst*rs the gatekeeper dude#censorcing cuase i odnt want things in tags#i genuinely dont care about the ss shit really its boring and frustrating#but i read the kinda translation of an interview about it#cause i was curious about the orders thing and the punishments for the secret ones are hm#i think i wanna tear his arteries out of his skin and hang him with them#anyways im normal right these are okay thoughts to have
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thinking about yancey and his people pleaser attitude
#personal#he's such a sweetheart and he wants to help out everywhere with everything it comes so naturally to him#to the point it's so easy to tell someone treated him so fucking bad in the past#playing 5d chess with himself to prevent the possibility of conflict 10 steps further down the line#taking on tasks at the diner that aren't his responsibility at all just to make someone else's job easier#but at the same time doesn't let anyone do that for him because well it's His job so why would someone else have to do that for him#offering to help freddy out with garage stuff the second he hears the guy is having trouble with some things despite not knowing him#nearly jumping out of his skin from being overwhelmed when freddy gives him an old skateboard he can use to get to work#so he doesn't have to spend money that he doesn't have on a bike that'll probably end up breaking after like a month#he wants people to love him back so bad. he loves so so intensely and deeply and he wants people to want him#and he feels like he has to be useful in order to be worthy of their time and their love. he feels like he has to work for it#at some point along the way his ex gf stopped loving him in the way he needed to be loved#so he just. did anything and everything for her to just at least be close to her again so he could get like#fleeting moments of the kind of affection that he was craving. and it's so ouhhhghbbh because that's just the standard for him now#too afraid to ask people to love him in a certain way so he does everything for them in hopes they'll then allow him to get closer#while they already want him to be close!!! they care so much about him he's their friend!!!!! he doesn't need to do any of that!!!!!!!!!#anyway. i'm fucking insane. this doesn't say anything about me btw
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I vent or breakdown so often, I know I get told it's fine and talk when I need to but geez it feels so excessive, like I'm overly sensitive or just really really easily triggered over things that shouldn't even relate to my trauma
We come to solutions or we distract from it, or we cuddle, but it's just always there.
I can almost always feel the dumb anxiety or depression feelings, I don't want to
I wish my brain understood that
#im tired of only feeling safe when im overly babied and small. i know at this current time point certain traumas are still really fresh#and i need to let myself acknowledge that and relax and maybe be taken care of on a higher level but#i feel so clingy and embarrassed#and i really wish i wasn't still reminded of things from the past. i hate getting anxious over things from high school or college#that doesn't matter anymore#i don't wanna be so vulnerable and scared all the time#but i think i need to#i just want to be held. feel skin to skin. get kissed and called sweet names#i wanna feel his nails through my hair. hear that hushed voice he does when being soft. i wanna be closer#i wanna be safe and told its not scary. its not bad. instead of how we've been going about things..#cant i just feel secluded and loved? feel protected and small#i wanna be told that my ptsd is a normal reaction and that i dont have to be like i was before. i can take a while to gather myself#to mourn and exist. to just.. be#be however my brain is needing to be in order to relax#i wanna be intimate and romantic and loving and gentle#i feel so guilty over these wants and needs#i wish i didn't have them. i wish i understood that its safe to have them.#i wish i was different#i wish i was me. but me before#when i was stable and felt nice and independent but i still had little moments of softness and needing help. i miss my early early twenties#but. i also miss the feeling of being held tight by him and told nothing could hurt me anymore. that he was gonna keep the bad away#like middle school. keeping the mean kids away#i love him. i want to feel loved#i am loved. i don't doubt that. but i wish i could capture every soft second and live in it forever#and i feel so guilty#trav.txt
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🖤 for Kit please <3
unhinged ginger @ unhinged ginger lives on>:3
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy (she loves a good kubrick stare herself) / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered ( like she has a right to say —) / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / i’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals (more like technical allies who annoy the hell out of each other while kit’s resistance?? closest option) / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me (more like. she would want to annoy the hell out of kit. for fun.) / they’re weird / i’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / i think i like them / i like them / i’m not sure if i trust them / i trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / i think we’re going to get along / i really like them / i think i’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / i love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me (or: becomes more determined to annoy her.) / they’re weird (affectionate) / i’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / i think i like them / i like them / i’m not sure if i trust them / i trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / i think we’re going to get along / i really like them / i think i’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / i love them.
#seriously i think jestiny would want to get under kit’s skin and annoy her SO bad. carnally.#like. she would definitely find kit irritating first impression because she assumes everyone who isn’t Like Her is too uptight.#also she’s too collected and jessie has A Thing about people trying to give her orders.#no she doesn’t care about the actual military experience don’t talk to her like that.#so she would try to be kit’s final breaking point fr#alignment shift aside vibes with her more the more unhinge she gets. oh good you’re finally loosening up (doing atrocities)#but that being said yeah. would.
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one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.
#like yeah five is an edgy game and the darkest in the series and gloomier than all of its predecessors but. i lack the words for it now but#there are important little moments in five where light shines through the carpet haphazardly thrown over a pile of garbage that oft get#ignored in favor of pushing the agenda that everyone in five is filth down to the core and that's just not true#i just- deeeeeeep sigh. people are so shallow sometimes man#this is how we get those characters that do not resemble the original in the slightest that either take one trait of the given character an#then bloat and exagerrate it until the character is a caricature of themselves OR projections of what the people would like these character#to BE in order to... be able to wrap their heads around them and their motivations more easily‚ i guess??#i don't know it feels to me like people just don't want to bother with the intricacies of complex characters and that's how the wood plank#versions of characters get created and then passed around ad infinitum#sweet grouchy baby boy who never did anything wrong ever. man who is either an innocent little big guy or satan himself. guy who is#objectively one of the most flawed individuals in the series being worshipped as a hero (griffith syndrome). guy who is either depicted as#an obnoxious playboy who only cares about getting laid and having as much skin exposed as possible at all times or the most vile man on#planet earth while being neither. the fucking. masochist cyborg thing. i'm gonna explode#oh and if you point out that there needs to be depth to any analysis of these characters if you are to do them justice you end up with a#gaggle of people saying oh yeah of course everyone in here is awful and they all have pig hearts#and i'm just wondering why this is the default conclusion most come to and not‚ you know‚ the thought that complexity does not inherently#imply rottenness but rather that even in the most horrible of situations you can find something good#i'm not the happiest or the most fortunate of individuals but i still refuse to believe in the idea of inherent evil that's being sold for#cheaper than a copy paper pack these days#but that has nothing to do with this my point is if you're trying to do media analysis you've got to look beyond... i don't have a word for#this... i guess you could call them fanmade stereotypes? no that's not it‚ my point is that people need to open their eyes to how complex#motivations and circumstances and human connection are and face that complexity head on instead of rubbing the story with sandpaper until#it's satisfiable to them#logs
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more tag drops // dynamics & people
@danversiism -> DANVERSIISM -> More than blood it takes heart and courage to be a sparkly badass // DYNAMICS -> DANVERSIISM -> Family is the people who you fight for and complain to
@darehearts -> DAREHEARTS -> Men go abroad to wonder at the circular motions of the stars and they pass by themselves without wondering // DYNAMICS -> DAREHEARTS -> From where I come from we take care of our own
@prcspcr -> DYNAMICS -> PRCSPCR -> If you are human you might as well face it you are going rub people the wrong way
@nyhura -> DYNAMICS -> NYHURA -> She is order and I am chaos we get lunch sometimes
@blindbastard -> SHIPS -> BLINDBASTARD -> A leap of faith is both blind and deaf
@mr-tony-stark -> SHIPS -> MRTONYSTARK -> Will you wait for me the way birds wait for the sun to rise? Will you kiss me as the sun rises?
@biitchcakes -> SHIPS -> BIITCHCAKES -> And her kisses on his skin felt like wisps of butterfly wings turn to a slow inferno
@amethystarrows -> DYNAMICS -> AMETHYSTARROWS -> When I am with you there is no place I'd rather be
@gammaragee -> SHIPS -> GAMMARAGEE -> It's in the eyes always in his eyes that danger and trust are held
#DANVERSIISM -> More than blood it takes heart and courage to be a sparkly badass#DAREHEARTS -> Men go abroad to wonder at the circular motions of the stars and they pass by themselves without wondering#DYNAMICS -> DAREHEARTS -> From where I come from we take care of our own#DYNAMICS -> PRCSPCR -> If you are human you might as well face it you are going rub people the wrong way#DYNAMICS -> NYHURA -> She is order and I am chaos we get lunch sometimes#SHIPS -> BLINDBASTARD -> A leap of faith is both blind and deaf#SHIPS -> MRTONYSTARK -> Will you wait for me the way birds wait for the sun to rise? Will you kiss me as the sun rises?#SHIPS -> BIITCHCAKES -> And her kisses on his skin felt like wisps of butterfly wings turn to a slow inferno#DYNAMICS -> AMETHYSTARROWS -> When I am with you there is no place I'd rather be#SHIPS -> GAMMARAGEE -> It's in the eyes always in his eyes that danger and trust are held#OOC -> Blog Upkeep#[ DYN; danversiism ] We ain't perfect we get on each other's nerves yet end of the day there is no one better I'd chose to be my sister
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tagged by darling @gremlin-soup for my top five songs Right Now !!
✿ Here with Me by d4vd
❀ Sea of Love by Cat Power
✿ Hardlight by Spacey Jane
❀ Blood cover by Gang of Youths
✿ Running Up That Hill cover by The Wombats
taggin @not-nervous-jester @chupacactus @blackbeardskneebrace @blakbonnet @nofeelingisfinall @eye-scream-girls @couriander @skysofrey @smoothedsmoothie @enbiosaur @turtles-on-turts (won’t let me tag u I hope u see this ����) and @creepycute-puppy-gf if y’all wanna play because I am Full Of Love and interaction is!!! scary but fun!!!!
#bonus mention to groceries by mallrat It’s Fun It’s Cute It’s The Vibe it’s been stuck in my head on and off for hours#okay I’m gonna ramble abt my choices here bc I love oversharing#they’re in no particular order of Priority#here with me. god. GODDDDDD. ugh. the sounds are gorgeous the best and the tones and the vibes are immaculate I can’t help but move and flow#it’s seeping and saturated with love it’s dozey it’s dazey it’s thick with heady sunlight and it tastes sweet and citrusy and it feels like#sharing a melting ice lolly with someone you love and holding hands and watching the sunset and leaning against each other and wandering#hands and lazy kisses and ughhghghhhhh#like when your skins a lil pink and prickly from being out in the sun too long and your lips are a lil dry and tender but kissing still just#feels so soft and thick and heavy and sweet and safe#and feeling the textures of skin and clothes and warm sun and cooler breeze and the smell of each other after being out in the day together#just. together together together here with me#the suns setting and we’re heading home a little achey but it’ll be okay#I don’t care how long it takes. as long as I’m with you I’ve got a smile on my face#sea of love. ugh. it’s sweet. it’s cute. it’s a lil rough round the edges like holding hands with soft but slightly calloused skin. its Love#it feels. real. how it is. like snuggling up together and just dozing in the comfort of having each other#I love her voice I love how it’s a bit rough and imperfect it’s like singing something just for each other#and the tinny twangs and the different layers of sound and underlying sultry indulgence#it feels like being smug and in love and knowing how good you’ve got it even if it’s not your usual superficial visually Perfect#it feels like having you and Living and the quiet confident comfort#hardlight. need I say more#it’s upbeat but it’s fuckin heartbreaking#can you see the weight I’m wearing on my shoulders? each ones worse and stays a little longer#fucked it up again— I’m looking alive and I’m feeling fine#and I love I’m gonna start a fight— give me a reason; give me something to bite#blood? the building crescendo and the layers and the twinkling and the hhhhhh#and there is nothing you can do about it now. and the RAWNESS the EMOTION the STUBBORNNESS#do not let your fucking spirit wane. fuck.#I’ve run out of tags HELP I have so much to say!! wombats cover best cover I’ll ramble sometime if anyone asks OKAY BYE#tag game#mercury moments
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#buy ayurvedic products#buy ayurvedic products for hair#buy ayurvedic products for skin#buy ayurvedic products for body care#order ayurvedic products online#ayurvedic products for hair loss#skin care#hair treatment#hair loss#beauty products#lip care#body care#Vedic Aura
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starting this new years on a high
#back to the gym tomorrow!!!#taking a few weeks off has done me wonders#got a job interview lined up looks v promising!!#finally ordered my nuptse puffer and ordered a few bits n bobs for my skin care n makeup collection#argghhhh#happy happy gal
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