#skeleton jokes

[sans-the-pun-king]

What do you call a skeleton who’s a comedian? Funny bones. 

[popcorn-plots]

guys guys guys guys

what do you call a gay skeleton who hasn't come out yet?

a skeleton in the closet

what do you call a horny skeleton?

boney

what do you call James Bond after he dies?

Bone. James Bone.

[dragonpressgraphics]

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Hey bartender, I'll have one beer and a mop!"

Bone Joke!

hehe, i love it :D thank you - i have a huge headache so it was nice to get a laugh

[rainyclouds64]

Imagine being a skeleton with no flesh and only bones yet still living life normally as if you were an average human. If it were me, I'd make as many skeleton jokes as possible. This post also works as a writing prompt. Go write a slice-of-life story about a skelly.

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

@lixxieslatte

Got Bones? (Printable)

Hey, I made a printable .PNG version of that “got bones” flyer if anyone wants to make a few copies to hang up in real life and cause some minor chaos around their town. Have fun, feel free to send me pics if you stick it up anywhere

[420kleiner]

(looking at a hot skeleton) damn she bad to the bone

[sosoribro]

the skeleton appreciation day fanbase is dying reblog if you're a true boner

[beardedhandstoadshark]

What would you do if a skeleton holding a gun comes out of a closet and shoots at every direction screaming "I have a BONE to pick with you!!"?

I‘d defeat it by throwing a trombone at it, or maybe also make some spare ribs for us both to eat as a peace offering though I doubt I’ve got the guts to pull that one

[timethehobo]

Manfred when [fill in your own scenario].

[civetside]

i was gonna draw the pool scene TM for real but then i remembered i hate drawing water so i did this instead

[ajcrawly]

Here's the thing about all the memes John uses in TLT. Sure, Jod is horny for the 2010s, but I can't believe that after 10,000 years he hasn't bothered to get down with any fresh new material. Never mind a myriad of human culture developing its own linguistic quirks - I'm betting the original Canaan House 16 had plenty of time to come up with some of their own. For example:

Skeleton construct #230 (Scotty Boneman) and skeleton construct #39 (Grunkulous Prime) and their long-running feud

Excessively anatomical descriptions for normal actions e.g 'don't you elevate your supercilium at me, Valancy. Stop oscillating your cephalon in my direction.'

Responding to one of John's unfathomable inside-joke references with a solemn nod and intoning the words 'glumpus glumpus' to acknowledge Divine and Unknowable Wisdom

Forgotten objects that may or may not have been sex toys (Cyrus and Valancy's nude portraits are a continuation of this)

[pointing at a picture of any animal that no longer exists] 'What kind of dog was this?'

Necromantically juicing up your muscles to insane proportions before e.g opening a jar, turning a key, writing down a note

Referring to any distasteful outfit as a 'sex ward'

'or as they say on the Eighth: if in doubt, slut it up' (Mercy and Cristabel do not approve of this one)

Tendon loving care

Convincing one another of fictitious new slang from the other Houses.

[after summoning a bone construct/flesh monster/skeleton army] I can never get the nose right

How many of your own joints can you dislocate mid-conversation before somebody notices

Wearing your lyctoral cape any way except in the way that it was intended to be worn

And, of course:

Lyctor? I hardly know 'er!

[swiftmitsu]

overprotective Killer anyone?

[minthy]

Skelebros, woo

(a irl convo w me and my younger sibling actually)

[sui-imi]

day 3: pranks | day 2: ACT to Flirt

* YOU have a feeling he's just toying with you...

PNG!sans belongs to me (@/sui-imi)

transparent / anomaly!reader belongs to @htsan

@sansxyouweek

[cupids-stimboards]

exploding hammers and cars stimboard

🚗 🔨 💥 | 🔨 🖕 💥 | 💥 🔨 🚗

[felassan]

rn i'm gonna headcanon that these are manfred's gigantic parents