#six always trusted that when she was caught; mono would come

[bravest]

i think i'm gonna write mono and six and POSSIBLY runaway kid . but mono and six are really on my brain right now because i'm thinking a lot about them .

[kusagrasskusa]

Thin Man X Lady - “An unwanted answer”

“I know it is not the answer you would have wanted. But, if it makes you feel better, seeing who you are is not what I wanted either.”

The night where the little boy had risked it all for the sake of his dear friend would be the night where his heart was broken for the last time. Although he was so young, he knew he was in love with the lovely girl he had saved twice before the tall, thin man would take her away. The pain he felt in his chest and the tears he shed just at the thought of what could have happened to her whenever the school children took her hurt enough- and a man much stronger, scarier, and mysterious hurt much worse. With a name like Mono, the boy was destined to be alone. Ironically, it was his biggest fear as well. It concerned him when his dear friend rushed ahead of him when the cursed world inside the Signal Tower began to falter, but how his smile grew and his body relax when she caught him on the bridge. Surely, he believed, that he would be pulled up and they would hold hands as they ran out the door.

But there was nothing in those eyes he saw as he looked up at her. It seemed the Tower had not only taken away his friend, his joy, but also his best friend. His young love. He couldn’t even feel his body as he began to fall into the endless depths of the disgusting world; and the blurry view of Six leaving the ledge replayed in his mind for years.

It was so unfair. It’s hard for anyone- even himself as he went through it- to imagine day after day being spent inside a hell. Sitting, waiting- hopping to starve to death. Biting his tongue to hopefully drown his blood before growing too weak to go through with it. Feeling his legs hurt as the growing pains set in, hoping it’s some God blessing him with any kind of death, only to watch himself grow old. How his eyes strained after years of not blinking; all while replying the image of his dear friend and young love betraying him.

He eventually had a new thought- regret. At first he regretted saving her from the Hunter before coming saddened. He was so happy he got to gain her trust. He regretted not leaving the school by himself. But then again, he felt sad because he saved her from whatever they would have done to her. Then, he realized that he regretted only one thing.

Mono had regretted what he did to himself. How he destroyed the thin man from trying to save him from his miserable fate.

The day that he felt the Signal Tower be used once more was the day that it was broadcasted that there was a voyage for people to take. They would be boarded on a ship and sent to a large ship called “The Maw.” These unsuspecting people would bring their televisions and others that carried the Signal with them, and he got to watch these free people succumb to a fate almost as terrible as his. These people would eat and eat until they just morphed so disgustingly. But Mono, this aged thin man, would simply ignore what the signals showed him as he had always done. Nothing seemed more important than to reply the betrayal in his mind a million more times.

The Signal is unlike a regular signal for it was capable of reaching whatever it affected and infesting it no matter where it went. Once a person is victim to the Signal, they can never truly escape it. Especially to those who believed they could escape; a child who had nothing good left inside her and had that emptiness filled with the infestation of the Signal. She had first arrived in the Maw as a child but grew to become the one to shape it into the disgusting place it became.

She was a beautiful lady who had grown up cursed since the day she left Pale City. Perhaps she could no longer see value in anything other than herself but she still carried the weight of her sins for each time she looked in the mirror, all she saw was the hideous person she truly was on the inside. She had worn a mask to conceal her inner ugliness but the sins of that fateful night seemed to burden her forever.

Something unlike anything she believed a god could have done would occur the day the Pale City people would board her Maw. She saw herself- Six, this little girl in a yellow raincoat- who came to the Maw with the same goal that the lady felt when she first arrived. Something so paranormal must be destroyed. But this girl took advantage of the Lady’s sins by revealing her inner ugliness via a mirror.

Her pained screamed were powerful in the ears of anyone unfortunate enough to be around. Anyone could detest to the pain she felt with how strongly it weighed down on the room- like anyone who was in it could just break down as if they were feeling what she was feeling. At last, the curse of the Lady’s sins would bring her to her knees and make her fall victim to the little girl’s hunger.

But, no one can ever escape the Signal. Even on The Maw, miles away from Pale City.

Despite everything that happened, the lady still didn’t feel sorrow at the sight of her pained friend even if he felt just as terrible as her. When she appeared in the cursed world of the Signal Tower, she was confused and almost scared. It was all too familiar and so sudden but seeing the tall, thin man in front of her in the chair seemed to bring her to her knees once more. But in utter shock instead.

“I don’t understand,” she mumbled, slowly taking off her mask. “Mono had killed you years ago.”

The thin man would stand up from his seat that he had waited on for decades, unable to register what he was seeing before him. His lips cracked as they opened- it had been a very long time since his last scream on the night of her betrayal- and he answered with, “I am Mono.”

With the Signal on his side, she knew he could do anything with her. Even if she was just a mere ghost- or something, whatever she was in the Signal Tower even though she must had been dead in the Maw- it was apparent she had no where left to run. She relieved now that seeing her child self and seeing the Thin Man decades prior must had been part of some sick time loop that forced the two to feel endless pain no matter what. But it remained that there truly was no good left inside her and no pity for her to feel for her dear old friend.

“I only did it because I knew you would be like a slave to me forever, and I can never trust someone who lacks free will. But, Mono, I do suffer as well thanks to that… incidence. You can look at me and see what you had done to me.”

Mono looked around the lady, unable to see a single problem with her. Her beautiful hair, soft facial features that were naturally perfect, body fit for a princess, and voice as lovely as a perfect note was all that he could observe.

“I am ugly,” she answered his confused expression. “Each day I shatter anything with a reflection. You made me like this, Mono. When you fell, you must have cursed me to be as ugly as those gluttonous, man-eating monsters.”

“You look beautiful,” Mono replied, “you always did. I never would have wished a single bad thing on you.” He reached up to grab his hat, taking it off and pressing it against his chest. His uncovered face looked nothing was sorrowfully as Six gazed upon it, making her sigh. “I always hoped you did it to me for a good reason. I always hoped you had a good reason that I just didn’t understand, Six. I even hoped it was at least because it would help you live longer; that maybe I was just in your way.”

Six stared blankly at the Mono, her straight face as lifeless as the day she betrayed him.

“Your reflection just shows how you are on the inside, dear friend. You are so ugly on the inside.”

Six just replied in silence, eventually staring at the ground before closing her eyes with a sigh. “I am, aren’t I,” she said, “well I won’t weep over it. I will never regret the day I left you behind; but, I regret that it didn’t kill you. You deserve to die, Mono.”

Mono had always been pushed aside and treated like something worth abusing. So while her words didn’t affect him much, it still hurt to just know why everything had happened. He was betrayed simply for protecting her- and that was something he had been thinking about nonstop. And yet the answer never relieved him from his pain. Perhaps his only relief would be to die- for he had suffered enough and it was time he was finally put to rest.

[quirkyhero]

My OchaCow headcanons

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BACKSTORY AND BACKGROUND:

Cow Ochaku: is a wild thang who is a strong heifer as well as adventurous. She was born and raised in an abusive habitat only ment to breed strong bulls for fighting rings. She's been through some shit, and learned to not take some shit because of it.

Cow Ochaku: this gal was raised and taught that she would breed with bulls when she was old enough to mate, she would be forced to submit to bulls for as long as she could and as long as they would need. She remembered being forced to "watch and learn" of what would be happening when she be came old enough to do the same thing. And them, doing things to her in order for her to get the "hands on process".

Cow Ochaku: by the age of 15 she had thankfully managed to escape thanks to her parents and the instructions they left her. Though sadly she was too weak and had no time to save any others. On her own she ran as far as she could, hiding in the city in always with a black hoodie and sweat pants she stolen from a box.

Cow Ochaku: thankfully enough she was found by a kind human who was kind enough to offer her home and shelter. Seeing as she was starving and cold and fucking exhausted, she took the humans offer, still suspicious of this person not sure weather to trust them or not.

Cow Ochaku: this was of course six years ago, and she had come to love her home with trees and forest surrounding the place. There was two male hybrids that lived beside her, their names are Monama, who's a bull and Kouda who'san ox. Monama, while a bit rude at first and Kouda who was pretty shy and skittish around her. Came to be protective of her over the years, now their all pretty close and good friends.

Cow Ochaku: after a long time of healing and bonding, she came to open up with her human farmers and two male friends. She even worked out and lifted logs and other such heavy things, which in turn gained her muscle. She also became quite the fan of martial arts due to the movies they'd watch together, learning new techniques along with the old farmer and their grandkid that was the same age as she.

Cow Ochaku: she had also come in contact with the internet. . .you can see where this is going. As she grew into a strong young lady, she came to also be comfortable with sex. . . That is to say with bottom boys. She absolutely loved her Monama and Kouda who she helped out with their ruts and explored new things (kinks) and the such together.

Cow Ochaku: threw a family doctor, who is a friend of the farmer had come to the conclusion that she may be infertile, and there was only a low chance of her having her own calf. This to her and the others was heartbreaking news, but nonetheless she still clung to hope that she would have her own calf one day. She was just relieved that the others didn't think less of her like the heifers back at the bad place would have done.

HOW SHE IS WHEN SHE GETS TO THE NEW FARM + WITH THE BULLS , HEIFERS , STAFF AND EVEN CALFS!?:

Cow Ochaku: was excited yet nervous to go on a trip to the new farm she, the bull and ox will be staying at for a year for her farmer friend that's going to be there for a study work trip.

Cow Ochaku: on one hand, she could finally make that bull harem she wanted. But on the other hand there would be thousands of new faces and in an environment thats a little similar to the bad place. In a sense that's there's quite alot of her kind there. But with the reasurement of the old farmer, the two boys and her calmed a bit.

Cow Ochaku: once on the farm and out of the moving vehicle. Ocha(Ochako), Mono(Monama) and Ko(Kouda) all went to explore once everything was signed in and registered. Only for Mono and Ocha to get whistled at and cat called by the bulls. Mono wasn't exactly the standard looking bull with him being smaller and more feminine looking with smaller horns, he was mistaken for a heifer quite alot. So them both being cat called was not a surprise.

Cow Ochaku: Kouda on the other hand, was being ogled at by the heifers that was curious about the newcomers. Kouda is pretty big, after all he is an ox, he's actually almost the same height as Kirishima, and poor baby was sticking very close behind his heifer and bull friend, not really liking the attention.

Cow Ochaku: meanwhile Ocha paid no mind to the ogling and cat calls, she was looking at the bulls that came to look at her and her friend. Debating and thinking of who she would start her "Bull Harem" plan on first.

Cow Ochaku: along they're walk they bump into a charming cowboy named Midoriya Izuku and a handsome bull named Kirishima, both kind and cute and sexy in they're own rights. . . Ocha came to terms with the idea of adding the cowboy to her bull harem plan, and let her mind run a little thinking of ways to ruin him for only a moment as to not be rude.

Cow Ochaku: after that meeting she came to see at one point, cute Little CALFS!!! OH MY GOODNESS! Ocha decided that this farm was fucking amazing. After all, it came with plenty of bulls and cute farmers for her Bull Harem plan. The staff were pretty great and there are even cute little Calfs here to watch and play with if she's aloud.

SOME EXTRA DETAILS ON COW OCHAKO:

Cow Ochaku: is a lover and fighter, this as I said came for her difficult past and trauma as well as her new beginning on her home land where she met her boys and humans. So she can be pretty intense, as well as straight forward.

Sometimes she scares the bulls with her strength and stamina, alot of them can't keep up with her during her exploration in the hay. The ones who can keep up with her are kiri and Bakugou, but even they sometimes fall victim to her brutal pace which earns her some heavy respect in their books.

Cow Ochaku: she absolutely adores sparring. At first the bulls wouldn't train with her because, "she's a heifer, she'll just get hurt" which seriously pissed her off. That is until a Bull who was messing with one of the heifers took things too far for her liking got take down by her just grabbing his horn with one hand and slamming the big bull down with just sweeping his leg out from under him and Basically making him face plant down onto the ground.

She Basically forced oversized "calf" to apologize to the heifer, and better not do that shit again. Bakugou who Basically went from not impressed and only intrigued to Having mad respect for her and now wants this woman in his harem, though he ain't the only one.

Cow Ochaku: poor baby still at times has nightmares about the bad place and will sneak into the living quarters of either of her boys or into her human friends room, or just brings all three of them to her own living quarters to cuddle and sleep together. If anything this is something her and Bakugou bond over, since he was a rescue bull from a pretty harsh place and she ran away from a bad place.

One night he just caught her awake early in the morning breathing in the cold air, with a melancholy look upon her usually smiling face. While it's a sad thing to bond about they do bond over it, and it brings them closer.

Cow Ochaku: she's love mochi treats, the kind that the old farmer made specially for hybrids. If you found a way to make them she will be your godamn best friend! Speaking of friends while she can make easy friends with any gendered human, she's not really good with other heifers for some reason. She just. . .feels nervous and a bit off around them

It could be because she has no idea on how to add the heifers in her bull harem plan, as well as the fact that she's not really. . . On the same wavelength of thinking as them at times??? Basically she wants to dominate the bulls while they want to be fucked submissive by them.

She wants to trust Said bull before EVER fucking them, while all it takes is the bull to show off how strong he is to get them wet and ready. She doesn't care for being treated frail and being taken care of while she can take care of her self. She would adore being taken care of twenty for seven by their strong bull. . .she just doesn't get them. . .at all really nonetheless she tries. . . She really tries.

Cow Ochaku: loves giving advice to the bulls about sex techniques and telling them about human sex toys. If she's close to a bull, she teach them some human tricks that she learned while surfing, "the web." She'll also be a babysitter for the heifers and bulls that want alone time at a specific moment so they can get they're grove on if you know what I mean?

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I did my own version of an Ochako Cow! I'm pretty proud of my drawings as well as how I made her! I based her on @miggiisdumb 's Bull/Cow AU cause I'm heavily obsessed with the godamn AU and her writing, please go check out her stuff as well as art cause it's fantastic.

I'm also gonna tag @headkandies in here cause they make pretty good headcanons as well as being a fellow lover of this AU!

But anyways that's all folks be safe and have a Heroic Day! Since it's not safe out there please take a mochi loving Ochacow on your way. 🥰

[bluesnow261]

Still having thoughts about You and I… WOOPS THIS TURNED INTO A FULL DRABBLE

They’re video calling after a long week of work maybe… they talk about their week and Mono makes sure she ate and took care of herself. And OUT OF NOWHERE Six goes “…someone tried to ask me out today”

Mono almost chokes hearing that and he’s like “s-so how did you respond”

Six goes “well. I said that I already have someone.”

Mono still remains silent, listening (internally he’s like. SHE SAID “SOMEONE.” SO ITS NOT ME????? ALL THIS TIME IVE BEEN TAKING THINGS THE WRONG WAY—) and she could hear him overthink and continues. “Someone who has always been by my side. Who would wait for me, drive hours for me… who I trust with my every fault and scars. Even I when didn’t care enough about myself, he always did. I don’t deserve him, but he… stayed. Despite the horrible things I’ve done to him… he stayed.”

Mono is completely stunned, gazing at her expression on his screen. He’s used to seeing her natural beauty, bed head mornings, and seething silence when she’s upset about something. But he wasn’t prepared for this rare, soft look she’s giving him. He swore rays of sunlight touched his heart, in this moment.

“…Mono?” She finally broke the quiet between them.

He blinked, snapping out of his stupor. Mono didn’t know how to react, so he tried to be lighthearted. “Well… whoever he is, he’s really lucky.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm.”

Six played along. “What about you? You must be swamped with DMs.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, tons.” (There wasn’t any.) “But one lady caught my eye in particular…”

“Oh?”

“We go way back.”

“Tell me more.” Six moved to lay on her side, cozy in her blankets.

“Ever since she showed up at my elementary school, she’s the only one I wanted to be around. She hardly noticed, but I would wait for her. At the playground, at her dorm’s parking lots, and halfway across the country. I think she’s starting to get the hint though...” Mono grinned like he was thinking of an inside joke, and lowered his voice. “You see… she can be a little dense sometimes.”

It was Six’s turn to be silent, hiding a shy smile behind her blanket. They shared a knowing glance before Mono resumed eating dinner at his kitchen counter. A few quick heartbeats passed before Six replied.

“…She better come to her senses soon, then. You’re in high demand.”

That earned a chuckle from him. “Exactly. I just hope she didn’t meet someone who’s more interesting and made her realize I’m far, far away from her now…”

“She won’t.” Six was fast to deny the thought. “She won’t find another idiot like you. Everytime she looks at someone, she wishes they were you—close and real and true.”

Eight hours be damned, he’d give anything to join her right now. Hold her, and never let go. “That’s… I never thought about it like that.”

Six wanted him here; replaying their touches before she moved wasn’t enough… She kept up the act. “Consider yourself enlightened. In fact… you should call her. Right now. She probably wants to hear from you.”

“Good idea!” After depositing his empty bowl into the sink, Mono perched the phone on his open laptop and sat down on a couch. “But… she’s probably sleepy so I’ll call her tomorrow. Plus I have to finish this presentation for my meeting tomorrow…”

“It’s been taking you an awful long time.” Her eyelids grew heavy.

“Yeah, the tedious details are making this harder than it needs to be.” Mono rubbed his temple and gave Six another soft gaze. “It’s late for you. Sleep well so you don’t almost faint at work… again.”

“Fine.”

“And don’t skip lunch this time.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Six lazily rolled her eyes. “You should try not to lose too much sleep.”

“I’ll try.” He nods, holding the phone closer. As much as he wanted to keep the call, he can’t have any distractions—especially in the form of the love of his life drifting to a comfortable sleep. He might just join her on his side of the screen. “Good night, Six.”

“Good night…” Six murmurs back.

They both pause, waiting to see who ends the call first. When suddenly…

“Mono… I love you.”

Her words took a different tone than before, but not because she was slowly giving to sleep. Her eyebrows furrowed saying them and she sounded as if she was on the verge of tears, trying to persuade him of the genuine feelings behind the phrase. It echoed in Mono’s mind and pulled at his heart.

“I love you so much too.” He said softly. “I miss you.”

Six nodded, closing and opening her eyes slowly. He didn’t need to hear it to know that she missed him back with the same longing.

“Sweet dreams, Six.”

With that, the call ended. Seconds later, he gets a text from her.

‘She better hear a good morning from you’

He smiled, replying.

‘I wouldn’t dare break a promise with her’

Mono stretched, preparing for the long night ahead of him as he went to work on his laptop. But his mind would keep wandering to her words, all of them, all the while.

[grim-faux]

07_A Small Echo

First

  The air was heavy and muffled, every step he took echoed. The reverberations strummed through the back of his thoughts, weighing on his senses. It was wading through deep water, the resistance heavy and he needed to be somewhere right now but no matter how much effort he put into each reaching step, the air itself restrained him. Confined his body in a tight coil, choking air from his lungs. His stride became heavier, he wasn’t sure how much further he could go, or if the next step would be the last he could endure.

 At the end of the gnarled corridor a door loomed tall, watching him. A lone and massive eye judged his progress, as if daring his resolve to reach the handle and trip the lock. Something awaited him. Answers, possibly. All the answers he could ever want.

 But the closer he came to the door, the harder his heart throbbed, the more intense the pressure of the everything around him. The colors became intense and their flavor palpable, tart and thin. If he reached the door though, it would be better. He was certain. It would be okay. Somehow, it would solve everything.

 A methodical chime crooned, tallying down the moments that he had left. Warning him that what is set in motion cannot be undone. A trick.

 __

 His eyes snapped open, and he had to confront the delightful truth that he was not dead. Wonderful.

 Out there somewhere, the rain drummed against the boards of a window. He was so tired of the rain, so weary of gasping on the mist and only being slightly damp, but never fully dried; of his clothing being an outer skin, rather a barrier against the vicious onslaught.

 He dragged an arm beneath the stiff cloth and smacked himself in the face. Mask still there. He didn’t normally take it off for rest, it was strange his first impulse was check for it, though he felt it crumpled around his face. He tried breathing calmly, but his sides buzzed. It could have been so much worse, he was sure, but being thankful for anything wouldn’t improve his mood.

 Should sleep? He had to find Her. The Six. Tower. She was there, he didn’t know if she was all right let alone alive, but he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t do anything until he found her. The thought stung his eyes, and he emitted a faint crooning. He wanted to be there, he so badly wanted to. But he was so lost, so hurt, and afraid they were both going to die. And he didn’t want to lose his friend. He let her down too many times. He let them all down.

 Drawing on some pathetic refuse of energy, he pushed himself up from the weighted fabric and edged forward. It was unbearable now, but this wasn’t unusual. Once he got moving and warmed up, he wouldn’t notice the tears or breaks. It didn’t stop the tremors in his arms. Slow first. Be careful.

 He was badly tangled up, and it took more effort than it was worth to just get his legs free. Where was he? He adjusted his mask and gave the area a look over.

 A room.

 Window. He heard that. Too high.

 Some furniture. Good. Not a lot of shadows, no visible spaces or notches, but furniture was good. At least it could be moved, with some force and a slice of lunacy. Furniture made noises.

 He was on a busted sofa, not his first choice. Absolute worst. A novice, idiot, suicidal choice. The sofa was not in the middle of the room, but it might as well have been. Across the room, a doorway. He took a deep breath and looked over to his side on the cushion. And tilted his head.

 Foods. Bits of what looked like meat and some wafer things, piled onto a napkin. Reflexively he cowered, but his lesser sense of self-preservation won out. Injuries forgotten, he tore into the foods. Half gobbling and choking as he sought to breathe and eat altogether. The whole choreography never worked well, since food was a rarity and having the chance to eat the food you did secure was rarest of all. It did enter his mind that this wasn’t quite right, and so kept his eyes cast off, barely paying mind to what he was shoving into his mouth.

 Until a creaking board sent him scuttling to the arm of the couch. He shoved the bag over his face and continued to gnaw, as he cast his eyes toward that doorway.

 The tall thin man in the hat entered, with a deep bow. Mono swallowed and swayed on the chair arm, already letting his eyes dip to the floor. It wouldn’t take long to tear the place apart searching for him, though he did already connect up who brought him here, who left the food.

 This was the worst situation. Horrible. He set another glare on the figure, as it positioned itself by the wall. Not near enough to warrant anxiety, but not far enough to be safe. Everything moved normally – the tall man was not alarmingly swift, and Mono was not crawling through the air. A plus there. Not likely to last, so he tensed up and watched.

 The Thin Man shifted closer, and Mono climbed to the back of the sofa. He strafed along the wall, rooting for a gap between furniture and plaster where he could get down. There was none—

 A harsh screech splint the room; intense and more punishing than thunder screams. He tumbled to the chair arm and clutched at his bag, the electrical pop whittled at his ears like a cold spike. No amount of huddling or defense was enough, he didn’t think he could stand much more….

 “C̸̖̟̖͖̻̼͆͋̋̕͝ạ̷̢͎̖̬͇̗̃̽n̴̦̝͔̲̎̿̆̀̍͑͜ ̴̬́̌̈̔̔̈́͋́̈́ý̸̙̜͕̯̟͓͉͇͚͇̈́́́́̒͐̍̒̉͝ơ̵̝͈̝̼̜͓̥̩̺͙̲͔̮̅̆̾͑̀͋͂̔̒͒̌̕͠ͅu̸͓̗̯̮̹͔͎͈͍̥̪̻̐͑͗͆̉͋̓́̽͌̊͗̚͝͝ understand me?”

 Mono perked and tilted his head. Yes he… could. The ideal that he could put connection to the speek, given that it was his speek, was most worrisome of all. It was altogether, and with the way the adult always seemed to know where he would appear, and set a trap. This was wrong and concerning, and told him how little his chance for escape was.

 He tumbled over the sofa arm to the nightstand and dropped to the floor, then, set himself beneath the piece of furniture. Now on the floor, he cast his eyes around searching for something more promising. If he could slip out of view for a few seconds….

 “You want help to your… ‘friend’. Yes?”

 Mono hissed in his throat but kept silent, instead opting to shake his head. The floorboards creaked with that terrible familiarity, and he poked his head up. No place to run. No place to hide. The man in the hat was thoroughly focused on him. Bad.

 “You could resist, but chose didn’t. No fight.” The child glanced his way, and then back to the floor, rooting for fresh cover. “You should be dead, do think?”

 Mono couldn’t stop his lips from twitching. Think he didn’t know that. Of course! This wasn’t fair. He pressed his head against the leg of the nightstand and crouched down. Should run? Floor open. No cover. Flee.

 “Twice over,” the Thin Man posed. As reply, the child scooted further around the table leg. “It’s not like you to give up. It’s not what you’re made of.”

 Mono tucked his head down. The Thin Man leaned over, peering under the table and trying to find the tell-tale mask.

 “What is it then? You’re running out of chances.” The child muttered a sound. “Come again?”

 “Want back,” he wheezed. “Want back her.” He coughed, more from shock than the discomfort of trying so hard to make words when it was not safe.

 “Well, that won’t do. She belongs to the tower now. As do I.” And an unspoken, as do you. “You forfeited your time for negotiations.”

 Mono poked his head up. “For-feet?”

 “Gave up.” He reached to the napkin on the sofa and picked out a piece of wafer, and held it out for the child. Mono skittered behind the table legs, pressing into the walls surface. His gaze darted up, inspecting the hand and the figure beyond it. “You will need your—”

 Faster than a whip, Mono snatched the bread and inhaled it. The Thin Man wondered if he was lucky to have kept his arm.

 “Why take? Why is her stole?” Mono continued to dip and paw at the wall beneath the furniture, distressed and unable to keep still. His flight instincts on overdrive, but he hadn’t the opening to safeguard his exit.

 “I’m not keeping you here,” the Thin Man offered. “But I won’t let you enter the tower.” He moved back from the table and gestured the room. “This place is on the outskirts of the city. You are miles and miles away from your goal.”

 Mono crept out from behind the nightstand, checking the tall thin man and then dropped his eyes to the floor level. There was only the one doorway. “Then have start again. So what?”

 This child…. “I said miles. Miles. Do you know how far a lone mile is? How much abuse and setbacks did you suffer, to come within a city block?”

 “Don’t care.” Mono shrugged. While the adult was turned away, he clambered up the sofa side and bounded across the cushions.  “She trapped. I’m not leave, especially friends.”

 This idiot child. “You single-minded, stubborn, relentless fool. You are going to destroy yourself.”

 Mono stood there and actually bristled, fists clutched by his hips. “So. WHAT? Hurt more in to leave! That desT-Roy me! S’not right!”

 But he did have a point. As their twisting paradox was uncontestable, so was this urge to… do something. Anything. Even if it was self-destructive. Children didn’t know any better.

 “I have an obligation to remove you,” the Thin Man cautioned as he wound back, the air vibrating with the sinister static. “If you insist on being a nuisance about it.”

 Mono climbed back over to the nightstand, the piece of furniture swayed under his weight. As if the floor might’ve shifted during his absence, he once more skimmed below. “You won’t though.”

 This tiresome child. “And what makes you so… assured?” In response, the child held up three fingers.

 “Caught, woke up.” He set down the third finger. “Gave foods.” He leaned backwards over the armchair, looking down at the scraps.

 The Thin Man tipped his head. “Is that really all it takes to gain your trust?”

 “No….” Mono plucked at the callouses on his finger with his teeth, removing splinters. “I get friend mine back, and you won’t work stop me.” He turned the bag, so that it lowered and the eye holes peered at the Thin Man. “You for-feit?”

 The Thin Man frowned. “No. I expected more from you. I anticipa— was prepared for the different outcome.” Mono’s response was lift his shoulders.

 “Let me go the tower.”

 Sighing, he tried once more. “It will destroy you. There will be nothing left of you, of who you are, strange child. You cease to exist, once you enter.”

 Mono looked away, and he could almost picture the concerned twitch of his eyebrows as the strange child examined the room over. “I think… would okay to that.”

 “ Wͪͩ̍̋Hͤ͛Y̆̊͆̊̈́͛͒!̵ͬͬ̌̆͂̍҉  ” His shout made the boy dive off the couch and flatten himself into the nearest corner of the room, where he huddled, his paper mask gawking. But given a moment and no action, the child calmed by a small amount. He continued to fidget and inch back. It took a minute longer for a response.

 “I don’t believe. You are lie. And I to have do myself.” He shoved his hand up under the bag and rubbed at his cheeks. “Have nothing… else. I, um….” He curled down into the corner, hugging scrawny knees to his chest and trying not to look at the Thin Man. There was probably more he could say, but he didn’t know how to convey it.

 It was painful. He didn’t do enough. It was his fault. He had to fix this. Was it fixable? She probably hated him, he was taking so long. She could be dead. He might never see her again. He did this. He should be dead. He could fix this. It should’ve been him, not her. This wasn’t fair.

 The Thin Man sighed through the static and brought a hand to his face. The action caused Mono to recoil a bit, though there was no longer space for him to creep into. “Very well. I admit, I am curious to witness how you go about this. If you so desire, I will escort you.”

 Quietly, Mono inquired, “You think can I stole back?”

 “No.” He spun away, moving to the doorway. “As stated, your life will end there, and that is the sum of it. But I am exhausted of this fantasy.” He turned back when Mono remained rooted. “Are you coming?”

 Mono tugged at his coat, gaping at the tall man in the hat, but unresponsive. At last he did uncoil, and bounded right over to the sofa cushion where the food was abandoned. He kept his shoulder to the Thin Man as he chewed on the remnants, then plucked up as many of the crumbs as possible until there was hardly any dust left. Cautiously, he climbed off the sofa, and gave his coat a shake off.

 “Any time now.”

 Mono finished checking his coat for snags or loose bits, then tentatively walked over to the Thin Man. Not getting too close, but near enough he could peer up and announce his preparedness with an unreadable expression. The Thin Man stooped and entered into the corridor. He was certain Mono was right behind him, though he couldn’t hear the footfalls at all. Children had ways of vanishing once a gaze was dropped. But he knew without a doubt the child would find his way to the Signal Tower, as he was initially instructed.

 If not for Mono’s retaliation in the first place, and in his inability to destroy his youth, that all along was the primary goal. That was all that mattered. Deliver him, replace himself. Either way, the events twisted in a manner the Tower demanded. But he was curious now to see how this hitch in the pathways worked, and what its finality would mean. It would be interesting nonetheless.

 Might as well bend the paradox further.

Next

[rantceratops]

Just gonna get some of my Little Nightmares 2 thoughts out and under a spoiler tag. Need to get it out of my system. SPOILERS BELOW CUT.

First, a Fun Fact: I went into Little Nightmares 2 fully expecting Mono to die. Yet I still got attached to him. I was expecting him to die, but I was NOT expecting him to get the fate that he did. I knew that Six was a morally questionable character from the first game, but tbh it never crossed my mind that she’d be responsible for his demise. At least, not until the bridge collapsed between Mono and Six in the Signal Tower. I immediately knew that either Mono was going down with the bridge, or that Six would drop him. But it still hurt like a bitch.

1) My least favorite theory is one of the more popular ones I keep seeing, which is that the Secret Ending somehow proves that Six dropped Mono because she “knew she was just going to eat him anyway”, so she dropped him to “save” him from herself.

This one is a big NO from me. That is not at all what I gathered from the Secret Ending. First of all, I’m not sure in what universe that dropping your friend into a flesh void to rot in hatred and betrayal for decades is somehow “saving” them, even if you were planning to cannibalize them. If you really wanted to “save” them, pull them up and then just run away from them or tell them to stay away from you, etc.

Secondly, it was clear that Six’s stomach growling at the end of the Secret Ending was meant to be the FIRST time she ever felt the Hunger. Six goes the entirety of Little Nightmares 2 without once feeling the Hunger, whereas in the first game she seems to barely be able to go a couple hours (or in game terms, she can’t go a single chapter without it happening) without having to eat, so I highly doubt she could go the entire second game without eating.

This theory is just not sound to me, and I refuse to subscribe to it. I obviously like to hear most theories because it’s always interesting, but this one straight up makes me roll my eyes every single time I read it.

2) I also don’t much like the theory that because Six saw Mono without his paper bag on for the first time when holding him on the edge, she was able to study his face for several seconds and realized that he was the Thin Man. Unfortunately, I as much as I don’t like the idea of this, I can’t exactly debunk it, as Six does indeed spend several seconds just holding him there for some reason or other. Whether it was in pure indecision, or pure malice as she relished his helpless state before she dropped him(I hope not), or whether she was absorbing his power to leave through the TV*, or whether it was in fact because she was somehow able to put two and two together... idk.

My main issue is that Mono and Six are like 9 years-old, how could she look at a 9 year-olds face and tell that it matched a man that appears to be in his 40s? Just seems a bit far-fetched. But again, as much as I’d like to, I cannot debunk this one.

*This is something that confuses me. Six was able to leave through the TV, but Six was never able to travel through TVs. That was Mono and the Thin Man’s power. Six was not there for the defeat of the Thin Man and so couldn’t have taken his powers, so was she absorbing Mono’s powers before she dropped him? Usually she seems to need to eat her victims to gain their powers. The lack of visual cue that she’s taking his power is also strange. I’m starting to think it was just a weird oversight on the Devs part. There is no logical reason Six should have been able to leave the Tower unless she somehow stole Mono’s powers. (earlier in the game we even see Six pressing against a TV trying to escape from the Thin Man, but she cannot, and it’s not until Mono reaches in and grabs her hands that she is able to start phasing through.

3) Mono = Thin Man = Hanging Man is also a strange theory. Though there is a certain uncanny resemblance with not only the door with the eye on it and the chair, but the pants and shoes and long-limbedness of the Hanged Man himself. However, as far as I recall there are several doors with eyes on The Maw(correct me if I’m wrong please!), so I don’t really consider the door that big of a deal unless I’m wrong. Eyes are kind of a big motif in these games.

My biggest question with this theory is why or how would Mono be on The Maw? How did he get there? Why was he there? Which version of Mono is this? I have so many fucking questions with this one it’s not funny.

4) Time-loop theory is the most popular. I’m on the fence. There is evidence to support it’s a Time-loop, but my initial reaction to the ending was that Mono was replacing the Thin Man, not that he was the Thin Man the entire time. I largely just accept Time-loop as it does seem more likely at this point... I’m not sure how Mono being a replacement would change the narrative... hrm.

5) I really just want Mono to be okay. :’(

6) I already reblogged another post and ranted about this but: People are overthinking why Six dropped Mono. There are one of two reasons that she dropped him, and imo it’s not hard to pick up on.

Reason One (Least Likely): Six was perhaps using Mono the entire time, and simply decided to drop him at the end once he’d served his purpose. To me, this seems less likely of the two, even though Six can be very selfish and sadistic, this just doesn’t add up to me. If this one is true, then the question becomes what was Six’s goal? What was her purpose, and what means to what end did Mono serve? Because imo I am not seeing a dark purpose here with Six... which leads me to the second and more likely reason Six dropped Mono--

Reason Two (Far More Likely): Six felt betrayed by Mono. This was my FIRST thought when I realized Six was going to drop Mono. My immediate thought was that it was out of pure spite from Mono not helping her when the Thin Man grabbed her. To me this is so painfully obviously her motive.

Six and Mono spend the majority of the game helping each other; opening doors, boosting each other, catching each other across gaps. There are so many times Six could have been selfish and left Mono to his fate, but she didn’t. She pulls him out of the TV again and again because she knows something is wrong.

Mono saves Six so many times; she gets captured or separated from him and every single time without fail, Mono comes back for her, he does everything in his power to save her. When Mono finally unintentionally lets the Thin Man lose, Six tries to get Mono to run with her. She stays next to him trying her damnedest to get him to grab her hand and run with her, before she runs off alone because Mono isn’t listening to her. Then, she trips and reaches out for Mono, but Mono is scared and cowering under the bed and does not grab Six in her most vital, vulnerable moment.

Six sees this as a betrayal of trust. Despite the fact that if Mono had come out to help her they might have likely both been caught, and despite the fact that the Thin Man’s presence generally seems to hurt and slow down Mono, and despite the fact that Mono STILL comes after her to save her. Mono tries to pull Six out through the TV, and even after he defeats the Thin Man, he goes to the Signal Tower to save her. He NEVER EVER gave up on her.

But for Six that obviously wasn’t good enough. Mono, however unfairly, lost her faith when he didn’t grab her hand in that room. And to add icing on that cake, Monster Six tries to let Mono play with her music box because she obviously has some memory that she trusted and liked him, and then he smashes it with a hammer. In her twisted state, that was another heinous betrayal stacked on top of the previous one, and I think even after she was reverted back to normal the resentment of Mono smashing her music box remained. Six began to see Mono as the cause for all her problems and a betrayer at that. Regardless of whether the theory that she also saw in his face that he was Thin Man before she dropped him, I still very much think the main catalyst here was the perceived trust betrayal.

Mono never really did anything wrong; in fact, he did everything right, but in the end he still got his undeserved fate.

There is no world or theory which makes Six dropping Mono justified in my eyes, but it is interesting to see how things got all twisted and dark for her to the point that she felt dropping him was in her interest.

I’ve never hated Six, but I’ve also never been fond of Six even before LN2. But I do honestly hate her in that moment that she lets go of Mono. It was fucked up. It was disgusting to be frank. Mono got one of the most horrible fates I’ve ever witnessed such a pure-hearted character get. It was fucking heartbreaking, I get sad all over again just listening to End of the Hall on the soundtrack and remembering the scene and what happened to him.

I teeter back and forth on whether or not Six is even meant to be a true protag or not. She certainly feels rather anti-hero. I also sometimes can’t decide whether she truly did care about Mono or not, but I do feel like there’s a lot of evidence pointing to the fact that she did at some point.

IDK. All I know is Mono was just a good boy and I really wish he could somehow get a happy ending at the end of all this. T_T

[brandyfields66-blog]

My CrossFit Transformation Was Much More Drastic Than I Expected–But Not for the Reason You'd Think

Most people start CrossFit because they're looking to lose weight, or get stronger, or get into the best shape of their life. Having played rugby in college, taught Zumba, finished a marathon, and taken up bodybuilding, for me, CrossFit wasn't about the physical promises. I joined a CrossFit box (as the gyms are called) because I needed a job.

I moved to New York for what was, at the time, my dream job. But six months in, I called my mother sobbing. I'd just been given notice that the company would be letting me go in two weeks' time. The eager post-grad haze had worn off, I was no longer certain I had chosen the right career field, and I was hit with a wave of loneliness.

After living in the city for half a year, I'd failed to make any friends. Late nights at the office had taken precedence over happy hours and girl-gang hangs. And because I'd often gotten off work late, instead of sampling New York's fitness class scene, I'd opted for a 24-hour big box gym. There, I'd do some bicep curls, walk on the stairmaster, and after about an hour, flex, take some mirror selfies, and leave.

RELATED: 25 Exercises You Can Do Anywhere

Now, here I was, bummed out, wishing for pals to vent to about my impending unemployment, and in serious need of pulling together work. So when I saw on Instagram that a Manhattan box, ICE NYC, was hiring a front desk social media manager, I applied.

I'd talked (or at least, thought) trash about CrossFit in the past, even though if I'm being totally honest with myself, I had no reason to. But I guess there was a part of me that was a little intrigued with the whole CrossFit phenomenon and the community it promised.

My first interview took place directly following a class. Having arrived super-early, I caught the tail end of the workout and watched as the athletes congratulated each other and brought it in for a cheer. The ethos of the group reminded me of my time playing rugby in college: The coach was treated with respect, the team was determined and focused, and the athletes followed an implicit "No One Left Behind" policy.

While the promise of barbells alone couldn't convince me to try CrossFit, watching a class and talking with the gym's owner about community, fitness, and joining the two could.

After my interview, the owner called to let me know that if I tried CrossFit and liked it, he'd hire me. So I signed up for a class the very next morning. I thought taking a CrossFit class would be like updating my LinkedIn, flossing my teeth, or eating greens: a necessary evil.

Turns out, CrossFit is not a thing you just walk in and out of every once in a while. If it sticks, it sticks real good.

I've changed plenty since I was originally hired at the box. For one, I switched to a part-time role so that I could pursue a fitness writing career, but I still work out there and consider the box my home. Twelve months since joining the ICE NYC CrossFit community I can safely say the sport has changed my life. Here's how.

RELATED: 7 Things to Know Before Trying CrossFit

It's cliché, but patience is a serious virtue

Most boxes have an on-ramp process that involves learning the ropes (and basic barbell lifts and bodyweight movements), but because I had weightlifting experience from my collegiate days I was allowed to pass over those sessions. (If you're thinking about joining a box, take advantage of these offerings; I regret missing the learning opportunity). Even though I had fitness experience, it still took a long time to figure out what the heck I was doing.

CrossFit defines itself as constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensities, and that constantly varied part... it's a lot. There's the snatch, and then there's the power snatch. There's also a hang power snatch, and a hang squat snatch.

This variety is part of what makes it fun; you get to try so. many. different. things! But that also means there's an unending stream of things to learn. The go-go-go New Yorker in me loved the exhaustive list of exercises, but the athlete in me felt overwhelmed by the variety.

I had to learn to be patient with myself and my body. If I forgot the difference between a hang, a squat, and a power clean, I had to learn to ask. If I couldn't string together more than a few pull-ups, I had to ask for drills that would help me be able to… eventually. I gave myself permission to not know what the heck I was doing, and then developed the patience necessary to be okay with the learning curve.

Winning isn't everything

My position in rugby was wing, which is the position that scores. Racking up points for my team was my job, and when I failed to do my job well, a loss for the team was usually the outcome. I love winning, and I brought that love of winning to CrossFit. “Finish first” was my motto.

And sometimes I did. Sometimes I'd take the top of the leaderboard on a bodyweight WOD (which stands for workout of the day), and I'd smile smugly, feeling proud. But then the next day, I'd have a workout with heavy barbells, and no amount of willpower would allow me to lift the barbell and lift it quickly while keeping good form.

A few conversations with my head coach helped me realize that my competitive spirit will help bring results for any goal, but that when it comes to heavy lifting, there's a cardinal rule: Technique first, consistency second, and intensity last. “I love how competitive you are and how eager you are to learn and get better,” she told me. “My advice to you: There's no rush. CrossFit isn't going anywhere. Take it slow, learn, work hard, trust the process. You'll end up where you're supposed to be.”

Rest days aren't a sign of weakness

When it comes to getting stronger, you need two things: First, you need to work your muscles, which causes little tears in the muscle fibers. Then, your muscles need to repair themselves, which is a process that requires rest.

Before CrossFit, I would go to the gym six to seven times a week. I stuck to that same schedule when I started CrossFit. I often went seven days a week because it was all so new and fun. My workouts lasted an hour, but sometimes I'd join some of the CrossFit vets for an additional workout afterward. Surprise, surprise: I got an overtraining injury.

Six days of heavy weights and intense intervals every week is too much, and I probably would have gotten stronger faster if I had stuck to just four or five days a week and actually given my body the time it needed to recover between sessions.

The mind is a muscle that needs to be trained

Anyone can do CrossFit: The workouts are scalable, which means that people of all fitness levels can come to a box and do the workout of the day. But CrossFit is no joke. When it comes to barbells, box jumps, and burpees, you need more than physical strength. You need mental toughness.

If you want to achieve your best performance on a workout, you must be willing to suffer–we call it “finding the pain cave.” When you're trying to snag a personal best, your body and mind work against you. But the pain cave is a place where I'm forced to ask myself just how much I'm willing to give to reach my goals.

Building the toughness necessary to endure the pain cave isn't as easy as dropping to the floor and cranking out 20 push-ups. It takes work to get your brain to a point where it is willing to push longer and harder than it ever has before–and to know when to tone down the intensity. During my first year of CrossFit, I had to train my brain every single day through practices like journaling, meditation, and breathing exercises.

You don't need to switch your eating habits to match your friends

Paleo. Whole30. IIFYM. Before these diets went mainstream, CrossFitters were jazzed on them. Until I started CrossFit, I didn't realize the nuances of these diets.

I've dipped my toes in the waters of all of these diets for anywhere from a week to a month, and I always come out thinking the same thing: They're just not worth it to me! Counting macros may work for certain goals, but it is hella time consuming, and it made me obsessed with food.

Similarly, while I liked the Paleo diet (and it's even stricter cousin Whole30) in theory–lots of veggies, protein, healthy fats, some fruit, and no grains or dairy sounded okay–in practice, I became a hangry monster. Basically, cutting out all grains and added sugars meant that I ate fewer carbs, and carbs are really important when you're exercising regularly.

While I thought trying out my friends' eating habits would be a fun bonding activity, it always just ends up making me grumpy.

Abs really are made in the kitchen

A month into my stunt as a CrossFitter, I had the flattest stomach I'd had up until that point. Which meant I had a new-found confidence to strut around the gym in my sports bra after every sweat sesh.

But while I looked good, I was getting tired four hours into my workday and didn't have the energy I used to. Could I have mono a second time? Why was this happening?

My coach guessed it: I was under-eating. My go-to meals and daily intake hadn't changed after I'd joined CrossFit, and I wasn't giving myself the fuel I needed to power through–and then recover from–the high-intensity workouts.

With a little guidance from the coaches in my gym and phone calls with a nutritionist, I revved up my breakfasts to include more protein and complex carbohydrates (wahoo for sweet and nutty overnight oats!) and made a point to have a snack between lunch and dinner. Suddenly my energy levels shot back up–and my abs have only gotten more defined.

RELATED: 11 Reasons Why You're Not Losing Belly Fat

CrossFitters make great friends

CrossFit isn't just special for its high intensity and unique lingo; there's also a surprising level of camaraderie. I used to think that made CrossFit a cult, but it's way more accurate to simply call it what it is: a community.

People usually work out at the same time every evening, so you end up spending five to seven hours a week with the same crew of 20 who are similarly interested in health and fitness.

While the concept of breaking a sweat with someone as relationship-building is not unique to CrossFit, in CrossFit “working out” really means something much more specific. It means changing your life and the lives of those you sweat alongside; it means being pushed physically harder than you've ever been pushed with a group; and it means calloused high fives, fist pumps, and even sweaty group hugs.

[foursprouthealth-blog]

My CrossFit Transformation Was Much More Drastic Than I Expected–But Not for the Reason You'd Think

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/my-crossfit-transformation-was-much-more-drastic-than-i-expectedndashbut-not-for-the-reason-youd-think/

My CrossFit Transformation Was Much More Drastic Than I Expected–But Not for the Reason You'd Think

Most people start CrossFit because they’re looking to lose weight, or get stronger, or get into the best shape of their life. Having played rugby in college, taught Zumba, finished a marathon, and taken up bodybuilding, for me, CrossFit wasn’t about the physical promises. I joined a CrossFit box (as the gyms are called) because I needed a job.

I moved to New York for what was, at the time, my dream job. But six months in, I called my mother sobbing. I’d just been given notice that the company would be letting me go in two weeks’ time. The eager post-grad haze had worn off, I was no longer certain I had chosen the right career field, and I was hit with a wave of loneliness.

After living in the city for half a year, I’d failed to make any friends. Late nights at the office had taken precedence over happy hours and girl-gang hangs. And because I’d often gotten off work late, instead of sampling New York’s fitness class scene, I’d opted for a 24-hour big box gym. There, I’d do some bicep curls, walk on the stairmaster, and after about an hour, flex, take some mirror selfies, and leave.

RELATED: 25 Exercises You Can Do Anywhere

Now, here I was, bummed out, wishing for pals to vent to about my impending unemployment, and in serious need of pulling together work. So when I saw on Instagram that a Manhattan box, ICE NYC, was hiring a front desk social media manager, I applied.

I’d talked (or at least, thought) trash about CrossFit in the past, even though if I’m being totally honest with myself, I had no reason to. But I guess there was a part of me that was a little intrigued with the whole CrossFit phenomenon and the community it promised.

My first interview took place directly following a class. Having arrived super-early, I caught the tail end of the workout and watched as the athletes congratulated each other and brought it in for a cheer. The ethos of the group reminded me of my time playing rugby in college: The coach was treated with respect, the team was determined and focused, and the athletes followed an implicit “No One Left Behind” policy.

While the promise of barbells alone couldn’t convince me to try CrossFit, watching a class and talking with the gym’s owner about community, fitness, and joining the two could.

After my interview, the owner called to let me know that if I tried CrossFit and liked it, he’d hire me. So I signed up for a class the very next morning. I thought taking a CrossFit class would be like updating my LinkedIn, flossing my teeth, or eating greens: a necessary evil.

Turns out, CrossFit is not a thing you just walk in and out of every once in a while. If it sticks, it sticks real good.

I’ve changed plenty since I was originally hired at the box. For one, I switched to a part-time role so that I could pursue a fitness writing career, but I still work out there and consider the box my home. Twelve months since joining the ICE NYC CrossFit community I can safely say the sport has changed my life. Here’s how.

RELATED: 7 Things to Know Before Trying CrossFit

It’s cliché, but patience is a serious virtue

Most boxes have an on-ramp process that involves learning the ropes (and basic barbell lifts and bodyweight movements), but because I had weightlifting experience from my collegiate days I was allowed to pass over those sessions. (If you’re thinking about joining a box, take advantage of these offerings; I regret missing the learning opportunity). Even though I had fitness experience, it still took a long time to figure out what the heck I was doing.

CrossFit defines itself as constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensities, and that constantly varied part… it’s a lot. There’s the snatch, and then there’s the power snatch. There’s also a hang power snatch, and a hang squat snatch.

This variety is part of what makes it fun; you get to try so. many. different. things! But that also means there’s an unending stream of things to learn. The go-go-go New Yorker in me loved the exhaustive list of exercises, but the athlete in me felt overwhelmed by the variety.

I had to learn to be patient with myself and my body. If I forgot the difference between a hang, a squat, and a power clean, I had to learn to ask. If I couldn’t string together more than a few pull-ups, I had to ask for drills that would help me be able to… eventually. I gave myself permission to not know what the heck I was doing, and then developed the patience necessary to be okay with the learning curve.

Winning isn’t everything

My position in rugby was wing, which is the position that scores. Racking up points for my team was my job, and when I failed to do my job well, a loss for the team was usually the outcome. I love winning, and I brought that love of winning to CrossFit. “Finish first” was my motto.

And sometimes I did. Sometimes I’d take the top of the leaderboard on a bodyweight WOD (which stands for workout of the day), and I’d smile smugly, feeling proud. But then the next day, I’d have a workout with heavy barbells, and no amount of willpower would allow me to lift the barbell and lift it quickly while keeping good form.

A few conversations with my head coach helped me realize that my competitive spirit will help bring results for any goal, but that when it comes to heavy lifting, there’s a cardinal rule: Technique first, consistency second, and intensity last. “I love how competitive you are and how eager you are to learn and get better,” she told me. “My advice to you: There’s no rush. CrossFit isn’t going anywhere. Take it slow, learn, work hard, trust the process. You’ll end up where you’re supposed to be.”

Rest days aren’t a sign of weakness

When it comes to getting stronger, you need two things: First, you need to work your muscles, which causes little tears in the muscle fibers. Then, your muscles need to repair themselves, which is a process that requires rest.

Before CrossFit, I would go to the gym six to seven times a week. I stuck to that same schedule when I started CrossFit. I often went seven days a week because it was all so new and fun. My workouts lasted an hour, but sometimes I’d join some of the CrossFit vets for an additional workout afterward. Surprise, surprise: I got an overtraining injury.

Six days of heavy weights and intense intervals every week is too much, and I probably would have gotten stronger faster if I had stuck to just four or five days a week and actually given my body the time it needed to recover between sessions.

The mind is a muscle that needs to be trained

Anyone can do CrossFit: The workouts are scalable, which means that people of all fitness levels can come to a box and do the workout of the day. But CrossFit is no joke. When it comes to barbells, box jumps, and burpees, you need more than physical strength. You need mental toughness.

If you want to achieve your best performance on a workout, you must be willing to suffer–we call it “finding the pain cave.” When you’re trying to snag a personal best, your body and mind work against you. But the pain cave is a place where I’m forced to ask myself just how much I’m willing to give to reach my goals.

Building the toughness necessary to endure the pain cave isn’t as easy as dropping to the floor and cranking out 20 push-ups. It takes work to get your brain to a point where it is willing to push longer and harder than it ever has before–and to know when to tone down the intensity. During my first year of CrossFit, I had to train my brain every single day through practices like journaling, meditation, and breathing exercises.

You don’t need to switch your eating habits to match your friends

Paleo. Whole30. IIFYM. Before these diets went mainstream, CrossFitters were jazzed on them. Until I started CrossFit, I didn’t realize the nuances of these diets.

I’ve dipped my toes in the waters of all of these diets for anywhere from a week to a month, and I always come out thinking the same thing: They’re just not worth it to me! Counting macros may work for certain goals, but it is hella time consuming, and it made me obsessed with food.

Similarly, while I liked the Paleo diet (and it’s even stricter cousin Whole30) in theory–lots of veggies, protein, healthy fats, some fruit, and no grains or dairy sounded okay–in practice, I became a hangry monster. Basically, cutting out all grains and added sugars meant that I ate fewer carbs, and carbs are really important when you’re exercising regularly.

While I thought trying out my friends’ eating habits would be a fun bonding activity, it always just ends up making me grumpy.

Abs really are made in the kitchen

A month into my stunt as a CrossFitter, I had the flattest stomach I’d had up until that point. Which meant I had a new-found confidence to strut around the gym in my sports bra after every sweat sesh.

But while I looked good, I was getting tired four hours into my workday and didn’t have the energy I used to. Could I have mono a second time? Why was this happening?

My coach guessed it: I was under-eating. My go-to meals and daily intake hadn’t changed after I’d joined CrossFit, and I wasn’t giving myself the fuel I needed to power through–and then recover from–the high-intensity workouts.

With a little guidance from the coaches in my gym and phone calls with a nutritionist, I revved up my breakfasts to include more protein and complex carbohydrates (wahoo for sweet and nutty overnight oats!) and made a point to have a snack between lunch and dinner. Suddenly my energy levels shot back up–and my abs have only gotten more defined.

RELATED: 11 Reasons Why You’re Not Losing Belly Fat

CrossFitters make great friends

CrossFit isn’t just special for its high intensity and unique lingo; there’s also a surprising level of camaraderie. I used to think that made CrossFit a cult, but it’s way more accurate to simply call it what it is: a community.

People usually work out at the same time every evening, so you end up spending five to seven hours a week with the same crew of 20 who are similarly interested in health and fitness.

While the concept of breaking a sweat with someone as relationship-building is not unique to CrossFit, in CrossFit “working out” really means something much more specific. It means changing your life and the lives of those you sweat alongside; it means being pushed physically harder than you’ve ever been pushed with a group; and it means calloused high fives, fist pumps, and even sweaty group hugs.

[grim-faux]

14_ The Glass Basket

 First

T W for graphic descriptions of injury and blood

 The other kids might be able to get out through the shattered staircase. A thin bridge of cracked timber linked the threshold to the remaining steps, further down on either side. If not, he could make a rope with spare clothing from the upper floor of the home. He didn’t venture to the upper floors, but there was a stable staircase leading to the second story. The light from the ground floor didn’t reach up there, and it was spooky. He opted for now, let it be.

 After some time of running around – how long he didn’t know, but it was growing dark outside the windows – the lights did come back on. Neat. That made things a little easier, given how pitch black the basement was without the glaring bulbs in the ceiling.

 Mono chose to enter down from the ruined steps, and climbed down the framework. Not all the lights came back on within the basement, but going off the burning smell and shorting out electricity in other rooms, he supposed something blew up.

When he reached the cardboard boxes and moldering crates, he slowed his swift pace and approached carefully. It was silent in the dark corner, all the noises from around the home placed the children on high alert. He climbed over one of the tall crates and peered down, nearly through the bars of the cage completely.

 All the kids clustered in the center of the cage, he couldn’t tell how many there were by a glance – too many heads and shoulders. Then there was one child a little to the side, face wrapped up. None of them noticed him immediately, though they were not shut off from their environment. He wondered when the last time they had foods was.

 A few faces turned his way when he slipped off the crate and moved over to the door of the cage, three pairs of glittering eyes gaped, impassive. The door was bigger than he was, with a crank lock. To reach it, Mono had to climb up a few links of the bars. He spared a moment to examine the children watching him now, searching through the gaunt cheeks for color and piercing eyes.

 No. It was unlikely Six would be here. She hated adults, and never let one get near here. She had no problem with other children or child like fakes, but adults… hated them. Wouldn’t let one near her, and was always so skittish when going through rooms. She would never let one get within reaching distance.

 Except the strange Thin Man in the hat. But the tall thin man cheated, and could pull you close when you didn’t expect that. He should remember that….

 The lock latch could flip easily, but pulling it aside to disconnect the door. Hard. Very hard. Mono pushed back the hood of his blanket and peered into the mechanism. There was a spring, it creaked when he applied force. It was stubborn and vile, smelled like… the kitchen. He rubbed the back of his head and tipped his brow. How to convince the lock to open? Maybe not open door, but break cage. Looking at the cage, it was too big and sturdy. If it were someplace high, that might be the option. But no, they shoved it in a corner among boxes. Crafty, devious, Snatchers.

 The kids within were becoming curious now. If they helped, was it possible? Did they try, or know how to convince the lock? None of them came to close, no one trusted him. That was fair, he didn’t know them and they didn’t know him. He was afraid if they saw him earlier, one might accidentally give his presence away. Adults sometimes saw right through children, saw lies and craft, whittled out the deceit. They had every right to be cautious.

 One of the kids braved reaching through the bars and touched the sleeve of his coat. Meanwhile, he retained focus on the lock. It strained and argued, but he didn’t have the strength to pull it all the way over. It needed a few more inches to clear the doorway. He dithered.

 The children had been focused on him. Now, their eyes slipped past his shoulders…..

 Mono wrenched his head around. Oh No! NO-NO!

 There behind the cardboard boxes, crept in one of the Snatcher s! Not the one from the kitchen, but the one that had fallen down the stairs. The face was ratty and gashed, the nose slits bled. It glared down on him, clearly aware of who had brought such misfortune to the duo.

 When Mono looked, it picked up the pace. Still shaken though, it’s movement swayed. He didn’t waste time to clamber up the top of the cage and proceeded to haul himself up the crates stacked there. One cardboard box he entrusted his weight to, collapsed. He recovered with haste, and continued to climb.

 In this the Snatcher lunged in and sprang upon the cage, it teetered there as it reached one long arm out to snatch at the figure scrambling higher and higher. Mono took a risk and leapt from a rickety box, and snagged one of the shelves. He continued climbing, all but missing as the Snatcher swung its arms out and collided with the shelf. His fingertips nearly lost grip with the slime and grime accumulated, but his toes locked into something solid beneath his perilous station and he was able to push up once more.

 He reached the top of the shelf case and clambered onto the solid surface. Below, the Snatcher gave a hiss and pummeled the side of the construct, causing it to sway dangerously. Mono dropped to his knees and hands, holding one side of the edge as it tipped far. Another snarl, the shelf thudded as the person drove their girth against the base. He had no choice but leap to the next series of shelves over, and nearly dropped in the process. He caught the midway point of plank, and began clawing his way back up.

 Through the winding aisles, the purposeful clop of boots charged toward his position. He hastened to haul his body up, feeling once more the dull throb in his side from injuries that were only beginning to feel less like injuries. He searched the gloom above for an access to the underside of the floor, though he knew his best bet. He didn’t think he could race all the way to the cord, if the Snatcher was intent on shattering the place entirely.

 For the time there is excitement in the cage, as the children cluster at the bars and spectate as the strange child races overhead. Their captor is noisy and clearly agitated, and clearly they were going to have a bad time following this incident. However, for a short while there is confusion, fear, and interest. There is something to distract from the place they reside.

 “Bet you,” one began to his brother, “two bites food, that one get smashed.”

 His brother shook his head. “Five,” he flashed his hand, “on the menu.”

 One of the children in the corner of the cage raised his head and scrutinized the shape darting out of sight. He only managed to get one eye visible, but being able to see a bit was better than seeing nothing. The cage was safety, until the door opened.

 The Snatcher tore into another shelf, this time fighting to haul its girth up the rotten planks of wood. This upset caused the frame to crumble entirely, and Mono at the top was forced to buckle down and hold tight as the entire construct folded beneath his shape. A board he had been racing to, which would have given him reach to the cord, flipped and twirled to the darkness below. He leapt and nearly shot through the gap between two shelves, if not for the weighted lamp on the slippery board.

 He shuffled behind the lamp, trying to hide from view. But the Snatcher had already seen him, and those intent glassy eyes gleamed in the dark as it roved around the aisles to reach this troublemaker. Mono braced his knees to the board and shoved the lamp, throwing it off the shelf and sending it against the misshapen face of the hostile creature.

 It groaned and whimpered with the glass shattered, the hard metal cutting its scalp. With a snort the Snatcher lunged at the shelves, reaching for the small figure darting out of sight.

 Mono kept running along the plank, shoving out archaic bits and artifacts forgotten from an era that remembered time but never existed. He shoved out moldy books, a rock, dozens of glass jars filled with thick goo and wretched colors.

 The Snatcher ducked around the projectiles, one or two at a time hitting its wounded face. It threw its whole body at the shelf and the thing pitched sideways.

 It was too late to climb the rest of the way up, so Mono hung on as the whole construct slammed into its neighbor. He tumbled out, skidding across the soaked floor – a hundred different artifacts shattered around him, one in particular was pungent and made his eyes water. Above, the Snatcher wrenched at the planks, trying to dig its way through the narrow space and reach the child cowering beneath. Crouched low, the boy scuttled just beneath the gnarled fingernails reaching.

 In the cage, one child struggled with the bandage coiled about his face. It was so tight, it cut into his scalp and numbed his ears. Worse was trying to fight it off, get the wraps unbound from his jaw. He pressed his fingers into his scalp and pried, coughing as the bind cut into the underside of his chin. It felt like his teeth would ooze out of his nose. Not only was it his face and skin, but a wad of cloth was shoved into his throat. Disturbing any of it was painful.

 For the time, Mono had fallen from view of the Snatcher and crept among the shattered pieces of decimated shelving. It was not safe, though, as the creature was tearing at whatever it laid hands on, and hauled apart the remaining wood of the collapsed shelves. It stepped back for a short spell and gave the area a short glimpse. He froze in place, hoping the shadows would be enough.

 It wasn’t. The Snatcher’s twitching movement came to a halt, and Mono debated if there was a way to drop a whole shelf on the adult. Before he could plot further on this, the Snatcher zipped around and sprang. Mono took a hard left and skidded under one of the lower shelves and braced himself against the stone wall behind it. He went right, and the Snatcher charged in at the shelf. It followed him along the base, poking at the items jammed onto the planks, seeking an opening to—

 A horrendous and grating shrill ignited on the air. For a second, Mono thought the lightening had fallen upon the home and would cut straight down through the floors. He fell to his knees clutching his head, the Snatcher and its intents forgotten. A disastrous reaction given circumstances.

 But the Snatcher too had whipped back, arms looped over its head and teeth grinding. Its eye flashed with lethal fury as it turned all its focus and hate on the  furthest corner of the basement. It disregarded Mono entirely and hurried away.

 It was time to get out of here. He wouldn’t get a second chance. This had been a bad idea from the start.

 He climbed through the ruble of wreckage, using the squealing as a guide to determine the direction. In all the destruction, he lost track of which way was where, and at this time there was only one other way to escape the basement. The cord might still be accessible, but he wasn’t sure where it was while on the floor.

 A grinding crash came from the other direction. Something pummeled metal, and the material creaked. The high pitched shrieking – dampened by the distance – persisted at periodic bursts. Other dins and wailing was intermixed, but always returning to that unrelenting screech.

 It was one of the children in the cage. They weren’t supposed to make sounds like that. It was a death sentence.

 He stood on a cracked plank of wood, in view of the staircase. He fumbled with his coat and plucked at the callouses on his fingernail. There was only one way to cease that cry.

 He climbed off the board and hurried.

 The noises became louder. Not only the screeching, but also the banging and crashing of metal against stone. And wood creaking.

 Once more, the Snatcher dumped the cage and while it was stationed on the floor, gave it a rigorous shake. Within, the children clung to each other or risked clinging to the bars. It was all they could do to keep themselves from being rattled apart. In the brief stints of calm, two or more risked clawing at the shrieking child, fighting to….

 SHUT HIM UP!

 There was punching, fumbling, kicking, some biting, clawing. Someone lost a baby tooth. But in all the chaos, it was hard to retain a firm hold.

 The Snatcher had enough! He hissed and flipped the cage over. Unlatching the door, he wrenched it open and shoved his arm in. He knew which one it was. It wasn’t hard to locate in the dark, all the others had propelled back from the target in a sweep. But the darn thing wouldn’t let go. Stubborn! He tugged harder, never mind how hard he gripped.

 Mono assessed the situation, and gave the area a look over. A metal tin full of thread and bobbins rested on the floor. He snatched a thick needle and charged.

 With a raspy gargle, the Snatcher hauled the shrieking nuisance free. He reached for the cage door, when something pinched his shin. He turned a heated glare down on Mono. Oh-ho, the troublemaker.

 Another ear-piercing shriek burst on the air.

 Mono dropped the needled in favor of capping his ears and staggered backwards. From the cage top leapt one, two… he lost count. There were at least five shapes that sprouted forth the unguarded opening and tore off into the shadows. He didn’t know how many there were, he had to retreat further as the wail became more intense, creaking into desperation.

 The Snatcher dumped the noise maker and went to the cage, but delayed. He snapped the door shut, only to glare. Mono could read that sort of aghast and irritation, even on that broken face. It lugged the whole container up and brought it down, the bars bent and wrapped outward. It did this again and again, growling in its throat. It swung the cage aside, then swept around.

 One eye fixed on Mono. It was so much worse than when the Teacher or Doctor looked at him. It was like the Hunter. It had blood and violence behind those hands, those eyes peered, uninterested by the things it pried out of warm bodies. It was angry, and likely didn’t have the right to be so.

 The Snatcher mistook Mono’s state of shock for surrender, and crept to the boy with one hand reaching far out. Mono raised his arms and had the immediate desire to mirror back that hate and pain, unleash on it his sorrow and agony. Throughout the entire building and the timber precariously perched above, a lamenting groan resonated forth. The lights throughout the basement doused, and a sloppy mess of dark collapsed into itself. Pillars and plaster came tumbling, wood creaked and splintered. Down-down-down, plaster, wood, sparks from snapped electrical cords. A dying groan expelled from the home, waves of soot expel from its ancient lungs. It was thunderous altogether, then in the same instant, as suddenly as the world ended, the noise ceased.

 Everything was decimated, from the walls to the floors. It becomes quiet, aside from the twittering of cement, the clatter of splintered wood.

 Somehow, in all of this, Mono is still alive. And relatively unhurt. He thought he was dreaming of something… important. A room, and a chair. And—

 The child bolted awake, and promptly winced as he choked on the air. Stifling the noise. He rolled over carefully and gave his area a tentative examination. There was no more artificial light, aside from the pale beam of dawn creeping in through where the roof should have been. Where and what everything jammed together was, remained a mystery

 A beam of wood dropped across his back, supported by a rock. His muddied and wet from all the soot, all the water pouring into the cracks unrestrained. At first he doesn’t know where he is let alone what happened – he has a vague sense. And shuddered. Through the haze of it all, he saw… it reminded him of that place. The Tower.

 He eased out from beneath the board. A strangled bark startled him, and he retreated back beneath the cracked pillar.

 The Snatcher was pinned beneath a mound of ruble, bricks, and dirt. It reached out toward the boy, hand still clenching and swiping despite the clear distance. With a parched wheeze its movements ceased altogether, and its head hung awkwardly.

 Tricked. A bad trick, but it was done. No matter what, it was not going to chase or hunt, ever, again.

 Studying his area over, Mono didn’t see a clear enough way out. Unless he wanted to chance the steadily growing pond, which now lay behind him. He was cautious all the through and through as he passed by the inert form of the Snatcher, and retained that paranoia even when the body was a ways behind him and he was having to squeeze through narrow and narrower gaps. The light came in at infrequent patches, but he could see enough to pick and choose what looked more stable to crawl through. The layers didn’t feel settled, and the crumbling hollow chittered warning of the sinister fickle ways. At times, a steady flat of wood shifted quite a bit as he crept across it.

 He shoved out a web of cloth to crawl through the next space, but stopped. The smell was strong. And there was a trail of red, on the muddy cement. He followed it, until he came upon the horrible cage. Beside it lay the one child. The one that screamed.

 Blood was everywhere. Where did it come from? He shuffled close to the kid’s side and reached a hand out, but timidly. There was no sign of life, not a sound – only the somber creak of the wood and the drum of water falling. He touched the frazzled hair.

 An eye slipped open and peered at him. It was eerie, the stillness. They weren’t really focused. Mono leaned back on his knees and gave the kid another look over, and was very uncertain what he was looking at.

 The pants were ratty torn things, most of the clothing consisted of rags. There was one leg, but the other… did they not have a second leg? That would explain why the child was a capture.

 No. The bottom of one pant leg was drenched through, the dull scent hung heavy with the mildew. He couldn’t really tell where the pants began and where the leg should be, everything was red or black. This was… it was the worst.

 He examined the cage beside the child, trying to determine where the rest of it was. Trying to decide what happened. Was there a way to fix this?

 He uncoiled the star blanket from his shoulders and tied it around the leg, just above the… where it ended. This coaxed the kid into moving, though Mono tried to keep them still. That didn’t work very well, and the kid sat up enough to look over and stare. Uncomprehending, dazed – baffled. Did legs grow back? He slanted his head and looked at Mono, but the expression was unreadable.

 Mono turned his gaze up, but it was impossible to see through the gloom and layers of timber. Did any of the children get out? Did he… bring the building down? He was so angry and… he was hurt. Or was it scared? He didn’t remember. It was like when he saw the Thin Man, and how futile it felt to be fighting and fighting.

 Only fighting, but never getting anywhere. It was hopeless. No matter what he did, nothing changed.

 He fixed the blanket a little tighter on the child’s leg. The kid hissed and pushed him away. Not roughly, but they cowered over the mess of the leg trembling. He could hardly move. If left here on his own, he wouldn’t manage to get out. At least, not through the turmoil that the building had become.

 Mono looped his arms around the kids torso. They were not as tall as Six, maybe younger. The kid lifted his head a bit, and Mono risked tightening his hold under the arms to lift him from the floor. He was able to haul them a few feet toward a cracked chunk of wood, but he was not allowed to hoist the kid onto the slope.

 The child gripped the edge of a board jutting from the ground and wouldn’t let go. Mono set them down and moved off the plank to face them, but the child crumpled to their side. Pain. He was in pain and couldn’t move. He set a hand on the kids shoulder and tried to gather their attention. That didn’t work.

 Mono crouched low and reached his hand to their head. The child’s hands curled against their chest and trembled. He set his hand on their head and stroked back some of the hair, and brushed his hand over their neck. He didn’t know what else to do. They were hurt. The kid couldn’t climb, couldn’t run. They were free of a cage, but the price. This… didn’t work out at all. It was all wrong.

 He ducked his head and curled his other arm over the nape of his neck. This wasn’t fair.

 The child shifted, and he felt their hand on his shin. He looked at them. The expression might’ve been indifference, or numbness. Mono took their wrist and tugged, gently. It was impossible to ask, it shouldn’t be like this.

 Still, the child tugged their arm away, and lay down on the glistening floor. Too hurt. Forfeit.

 Mono touched their head. Then, reached into his coat, and pried out a few of his ration bundles. The child turned their head a bit, looking at the offerings with a new note of wonder in their eye.

 There was nothing else he could leave them. Mono stood and backed away, stepping up onto the slope. He hesitated, conflicted by the madness he was to depart. It was too familiar, it was wrong. But… there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t fix this.

 Leave them. Run away. They’re not your responsibility.

 But shouldn’t he at least try?

 Without a backwards glance he fled up the shattered plank, the resonance of crinkling wood and shifting earth laughed at his cowardness. He found a gap in the shroud which engulfed him and climbed, clawed, or ran.

 The abandoned, lifted his head only to watch the retreat of the strange child. Once the faint footfalls pattered out completely, he shifted his body onto the surface of the cracked board and lay down. He shut his eyes and committed to a good long sleep, assured now, no interruptions would come.

 Despite everything, escaping the home this time was effortless. The whole construct had folded down to the basement level, and with every piece of wall or section of floor hauled into the subterranean, no shortages of pathways existed in the gloom to prevent him from finding his way out into the light. Or as lit and radiant as the Pale City was, given the abysmal weather patterns.

 Mono clambered out of what must have been an attic window at some point. It was nearly on level to the street and did not require him to find a safe alternative route down. On his short trek across the askew road, he finally and at last, cast his eyes back to examine the street block. It was only the one home which was decimated, the others situated flush to its walls – formerly sharing walls – sagged toward the crater.

 He didn’t understand what happened, let alone if he did have something to do with that tremor. What if that was all he could do now? Break things? He didn’t want that. He just wanted… to see Six. One more time.

 His heels scuffed roughly at the road and very nearly collapsed. On his way navigating through the precarious passages, he had not seen sign or… or… hair, of the other children. But it must have been hours since the house fell. They must have gotten out. He did

 Of course, they didn’t want anything to do with him. The strange one. First chance they got, every and each of them fled.

 He remained on his feet, hastening to the other side of the road and to the cover of eaves stretching out from the overhead ceiling of a gutted shopping mall. There was no telling what manner of horror might be awaiting within, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get out of the rain. Get out of the rain, dry his cloths, and wonder. Where was he to go now?

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