#siw raph

[truths33k3r4]

(Warnings for this chapter are at the bottom of the page to keep from giving away spoilers.)

CHAPTER 9 - Dreams of the Haunted

Raphael watched as Lotus finally stilled in Leo’s arms, her stuttered breaths and sniffles slowly descending into silence. Her panicked words twisted and pulled at his mind, deepening his growing concern for her. Frustration began building in his heart as he watched someone so frail and scared fight a horrific, inner battle.

And all he could do was watch.

It brought him no comfort that he was the one that possibly sparked such awful memories in the frightened girl. How she looked at him… It was as if he was the ghost inhabiting all of her nightmares. As if it were him that caused her to flail out of bed in sporadic jolts, wearing beads of sweat on her trembling brow.

 The familiar, sticky tentacles of guilt quickly slithered around his heart, constricting the limited air in his lungs, and filling his mind with useless reprimands.

You shoulda just left her to Leo.

It’s your fault she’s afraid all the time.

She’s scared of you.

Raph shook his head in an attempt to focus back to the matter at hand.

The “matter” that now laid limp in his oldest brother’s arms, softly sighing and nestling into his plastron. The fiery brother watched in silent adoration as Leo stroked the young girl’s shell, successfully calming her enough to make her fall back to sleep. Raph remembered seeing Leo do the same calming motion when they were kids, using it to settle a frightened youngest brother surrounded by darkness, or steady a stressed nerd with too much homework, or simmer down a heated temper with nowhere to go but out.

Raph had used it once or twice as well. The faint memory passed through his mind like a soft breeze as he remembered Leo’s shuttering body hidden fully in his shell after another nightmare. However awkward that night had begun, Raph still recalled it with a warm endearment, remembering all of his brothers combining forces to bring comfort to their newly titled “leader”. Yeah, it was cramped and full of mushy feelings and tears; Three things Raph himself normally hated more than Math homework, but it was all worth it to be there for Leo. 

It was all worth it to bring comfort to their comforter.

As Lotus let out one final, heavy exhale, Leo skillfully weaved out of her embrace, laying her down gently onto the pillow and carefully draping the blanket over her. She didn’t stir the slightest, seemingly sinking deeper and deeper into the cushion of the mattress and the grounding weight of the blanket. Leo sighed as he looked down at her, his shoulders and body falling as if another weight had landed atop them. Tenderly, he reached out and wiped away the last of her tears speckling her cheeks. 

And he wonders why he was the best pick for Team Medic. Stinkin’ show off.

As Leo pushed himself off the floor with a winced grunt, he patted the dirt and grime off his knees and legs. Raph’s eyes involuntarily widened at the dark patches of dirt littering his oldest brother’s body. Normally the brothers kept their room a bit more tidy than that, but…

…a lot had happened. And some things carried more priority than household chores. 

“Raph, come on!” Leo shout-whispered, knocking the fiery brother’s train of thought clean off its tracks. “She’s asleep. Let’s go.” 

Raph gave a slight nod and followed his brother into the hallway, the two siblings being as silent and swift as wind sweeping across snow.

 They walked side by side in the hall, remaining quiet even after they were far past the brothers’ bedroom. Raph couldn’t help but subtly peer his eyes across to Leo, gauging what was going through the leader’s head. It wasn’t abnormal for the eldest to go silent, far from it in fact. Especially after something big happening, Leo would normally not speak as he contemplated the next best course of action. This had actually formed into a problem when they were younger, with Raph and Don’s impatience being stretched to their limits as they had to just wait for their leader to find a solution without a single conversation being had. That had sparked many unneeded forest fires of fury between the twins and their leader. 

Raph couldn’t help but snicker to himself as he remembered how ticked off Don had gotten, spouting off facts and insults in tandem when he wasn’t kept in the know-how. 

“Raph- What was that?” Leo asked suspiciously as he turned his gaze towards the fiery brother. “... Why… are you laughing??” He asked with a slight tint of incredulous confusion in his tone.

With Leo’s frosty irises now locked onto him, Raph found it a little hard to open his mouth and make words come out. 

“Uh… I was…”

Just speak, it ain’t that hard!!

“...Um…”

Leo’s Mom Glare™ suddenly shot up to a “should I be worried??” expression.

JUST. FRIGGIN. TALK.

Raph forcefully rolled his shoulders to release some of the energy building in his body.

“Heheh I was… rememberin’ how ticked off Don got when you went quiet on our missions. You remember the crazy insults he called you?”

Leo’s interrogative gaze flickered and dissipated as he turned his face to the ceiling and sighed with a smile.

“Ahhh yes…” The eldest huffed as his grin grew in nostalgic amusement. “Dad caught him swearing so many times so he just decided to make up new insults…Ah man, which one had you and me cracking up that one time?”

“Ooof, dude. How could ya pick? There’s too many good ones HA!”

“... Was it “Lint Licker”? Or maybe “Shiitake Mushroom head”, HAHA!!!”

Hearing the past substituted insults ignited a warm, soothing flame to ignite in Raph’s heart, leaving him clutching his stomach with how hard he was now laughing alongside his brother.

“WAIT WAIT- HAHAHEEE- Do you remember the time he called you a “Mother Clucker”?! BROOO I couldn’t even breathe I was laughin’ so hard!!!”

“OH DANG- HAHA!!! I can’t believe I forgot that one!!!” Leo was now clutching at his side too, leaning his shell against the wall of the hallway for support as he cackled and sniffed away tears from his eyes. “Don was so mad his face was as red as your mask!!!”

Now Raph could barely breathe with how hard he was laughing.

“Heee… He just sat there- HAHA- With his arms crossed holdin’ his breath- HAHAHA!!! You were afraid he was gonna pass out!!”

“He almost did!!! You had to catch him!!!” Leo’s voice cracked and broke with the laughter erupting out of his throat. Without meaning to, some of his words shot to an extremely high pitch, only worsening Raph’s guffaws to the point where he collapsed to the floor, splayed out and pressing down onto his torso.

There the two brothers were, one propped against a wall, the other laying flat on the ground, laughing.

Despite all that they had been through.

Here they were.

Laughing.

As their chuckles petered out to sniffs and snickers, Leo pushed himself off the wall and walked up to Raph’s prone body. The eldest reached out his hand with a big, real smile gracing every inch of his face. Raph couldn’t help but return Leo’s kindness with his own grin, gratefully accepting his big brother’s hand and allowing himself to be helped off the floor.

“Come on…” Leo laughed again, gasping for air, “Let’s go check on the Clean Up Crew.”

Raph nodded with a knowing smile as the two continued down to the living room.

“MIKEY!!! DON!!” Raph called out with his hand cupping the side of his face. “WHERE YOU GUYS AT??” 

After being answered with silence, Leo and Raph ventured into the kitchen. Walking past the doorway, the first thing Raph noticed was the “used” trash bin propped near the sink. The second thing he noticed, or rather was SMACKED ACROSS THE FACE WITH, was the pungent smell of lavender fumes filling up the entire room. Both his and Leo’s eyes immediately sprung up with more tears as they began to flap their arms to wave out some of the potent aroma. It didn’t do much, and unfortunately, living in the sewers, there were no windows to open and let out the powerful scent. So they just stood there for a bit, waving their arms, until finally both of them gave up in between hacks and coughs and simply retreated to the couch instead.

Comparatively, hacking and choking on fumes was apparently a much more effective way to beckon for their little brother instead of just casually calling to him. 

“What the shell happened to you guys??” Mikey yelled as he ran through the lair’s entrance into the living room. He was out of breath and wearing far-too-big gloves on his hands.

“Us?? *COUGH COUGH*- What- a-about you?? WHY were you *HACK* up top?!” Leo sputtered indignantly as he turned his head to look at his thirteen year old brother that was apparently alone in the big, scary world that towered above them.

Raph chuckled as he watched Mikey roll his eyes and tsk at the eldest’s obvious concern.

“Leooo I’m fineeee. I literally just took out the trash, CHILL.” Mikey grumbled as he pulled off the oversized gloves from his fingers.

“I will NOT CHILL.” Leo retorted right back, now wearing his patented Mom Glare™ and speaking as if he were Mikey’s parent rather than his oldest sibling, “You, young mutant, are thirteen. You aren’t allowed up top by yourself, you know that.”

“Yeah~ I’m fully aware, Mom-o-nardo. But Don was busy trying to hold in his lunch, so I took care of it.” Mikey sluggishly declared, his words dripping with nonconchalance. “You’re welcome~.” He flicked his hands with the dramatic flair of a magician, tossing the gloves onto a nearby side table, effectively making them ‘disappear’ from his person. 

Raph let out a silent “Ooooh~” as he turned to see how Leo would react. And as always, the eldest did not disappoint.

“Do I need to tell Master Splinter of your little solo errand?” Leo asked in a tone that was as cold and sharp as an icicle’s tip. 

The youngest’s face fell immediately as Leo played his highest card:

“I’M GONNA TELL DAD.”

Classic oldest sib move, Raph thought to himself. Game set match.

With an offended pout only a youngest sibling could pull off, Mikey growled and stomped his way into the kitchen.

 He quickly regretted his decision.

Raph and Leo couldn’t help the satisfied grins crawling up their faces as they heard Mikey begin to cough violently, clapping his hands over his snout and hightailing it back into the living room. He unceremoniously crumpled to the floor in a hacking heap.

Raph leaned further into the couch cushions and rested his head over his crossed arms, while he watched his little brother writhe dramatically on the floor. With a quick glance, he saw that Leo was subtly checking if Mikey was actually okay or if he was just being dramatic. He obviously came to the same conclusion Raph did as the two oldest siblings sat back and watched, the smiles on their faces never leaving for a second.

“Yeah… seems Don did one shell of a job “decontaminating” the trash bin, huh lil bro?”

Mikey’s head lifted from the ground long enough for him to spit out, “I BET ASTRONAUTS COULD SMELL THAT.”

Leo shook his head as he rolled his eyes, allowing a faint smile to grow on his face. Raph couldn’t help but ask himself how long it had been since so much laughter and smiles had graced the rooms of his home. 

In order to keep the bright composure he was carrying on his face, he pushed aside that thought and just sat as he watched his brothers just be kids again.

. . .

Images flashed past Raphael’s eyes as his body was forcefully shoved through a long, grey hallway. Echoes of horrified and pained screams blared into his skull. Shadows peeled from the walls and engulfed him, slithering their arms into tight bands around his biceps and ankles. Despite the fear penetrating every cell of his body, his mind remained completely hollow, as if he didn’t carry enough strength to create a simple thought. 

The only voice that could be heard in his mind wasn’t his own.

It promised safety and warmth; an easy way out of this trap. Its gravely whispers poked and scratched inside his head, trying to tangle and pull apart any chords of willpower he had left. He could sense the bristling flame of his determination and spirit continue to flicker into nothing. With each seductive, hushed word, a vital part of his identity was extinguished, replaced with an empty husk of compliance.

He wanted to scream, to run, to fight. He longed to beat the shell out of the siren that continued to whisper and enchant his body to bend to its will. 

His mouth stayed shut. 

His legs remained still.

His hands hung limp at his sides, bristling the tipped edges of his sais.

Now watching as if a spectator in his own body, Raph’s legs began to move. They pressed forward with an unnatural uniformity, pulling him closer to a pair of doors leading into a frighteningly familiar room. Raph watched as a pair of crimson-tipped fingers unlocked the door, beckoning him to continue on his way inside. No matter how much Raph’s spirit bit and snarled and yanked, his body complied with the voice’s wishes.

His form climbed into a cushioned chair surrounded by heavy machinery littering every surface. The haunting shine of scalpels and saws glistened on trays set up near his head. His wrists and ankles were slid into metal cuffs as his body unnaturally relaxed into the reclining chair. Lights began flashing as the machinery around him began to glow in a sickly neon green.

“LET ME GO!!!”

Raph’s spirit froze at the sound of the new voice screeching at the doorway. It was a voice he could never forget; A voice of someone who drove him crazy, and pushed him to always do his best in everything he ever did. A scratchy tone that would sometimes pop into a high-pitched crack, leaving him dying laughing on the floor and dodging random office supplies being hurled at him.

His best friend.

“I SAID LET ME GO!!! WHERE’S MY BROTHER?” Don snarled as he was dragged into the room by two hulking jerks, twisting and yanking at the freckled mutant’s chains. He winced as they threw him into the similar chair positioned beside Raph.

NO!! PLEASE NO!!!

Raph’s pleads and screams never left his body’s lips. He could only watch as his twin was forced down into the chair, the two men not being gentle in the slightest as they tugged Don’s limbs through the cuffs with a loud *CLANG*.

“RAPH!!” Don yelled to the hollow husk of his twin in both concern and relief at the same time,”RAPH WAKE UP!! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!”

The fiery brother couldn’t look away as Don’s face fell when his twin didn’t even acknowledge his existence, nevermind his words.

“...R-Raph?... What did they do to you?!- WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!!!” Don ignited in a furious explosion of raw, protective instincts as masked doctors began filling the room.

Even with Don’s kicking and screaming, clawing and biting, and choice vocabulary that would send his father into a coma, the doctors still swiftly worked around him, preparing the machine that menacingly hovered above the two twins. Nurses began attaching small, metal nodes onto the sides of the brothers’ temples; Don’s on the left, and Raph’s on the right. The freckled brother didn’t stop squirming and fighting for one second, using all his energy to somehow escape his binds. But Raph remained still, his mind fully possessed by the siren that dwelled inside.

With a small *click* the machine began to operate. Raph watched as his twin began to scream, not in protest, but in pain. His body twisted and jolted as if he were being impaled by a lightning bolt. 

NO! 

Raphael’s spirit began to burn. 

NO…

His anger blazed in an uncontrollable pyre.

I… WILL NOT… 

His body’s hand twitched.

..LET…

His placid face began to sneer and snarl.

YOU…

His eyes burst open.

HURT HIM!!!!!

His spirit lunged through its prison, disintegrating the coils of control the siren once possessed. The chords of his identity and soul found their purchase in the core of his mind, planting themselves deeply, and never allowing such intrusion again. With the fury of a lion and the love of a protector he screamed,

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!”

Electricity sparked and stuttered through him in an instant, coursing through every muscle and fiber. It pulled his limbs taut, causing a deep ache to ignite in his bones. His skull rang with loud static, and his body twitched uncontrollably.

His body.

He fought against his binds, shattering the metal into pieces.

The lights on the machine flashed and popped, spraying the surrounding doctors with shards of glass. The panels of the contraption began to shake, as the device rapidly began to overload. 

The room was swallowed by the following explosion, bathed in an iridescent, blinding white.

Raphael and Donatello gasped simultaneously as they shot up, flinging their blankets off their chests.

Sweat beads trickled down Raph’s face as he shuddered and snatched onto his blanket. His fingers pressed deeply into the fibers, cushioning his nails instead of allowing them to penetrate skin. The thick, warm feel of the fabric pulled him back from fantasy, and planted him firmly in reality.

I’m home…

I’m safe…

I’m okay…

He chanted these words over and over in his mind until a cool, slurring voice broke his concentration.

“Raph?... You a’right, man?” Leo groggily whispered from his place on the spare mattress in the middle of the room. In the darkness the eldest’s frosty irises glowed as they locked onto Raph. 

Before the fiery brother could turn away from his sibling’s concerned gaze, Leo was already pulling away his sheets and blanket, tidily folding them over the edge of his bed, before silently crossing the room to Raph’s bedside.

CRUD CRUD CRUD-

NO- SHOO- GO AWAY- NOT NOW-

Raph immediately turned over, flopping to face the wall of his nook away from Leo.

“-I-I’m fine, Leo. Go back ta bed.” He subtly hissed through his fangs, hoping and praying that he was not about to get a big ol’ talk about feelings from the oldest. 

“Yeahhh, I’m not gonna buy that.” Leo yawned as he sat down on the floor beside Raph’s mattress. “A fighter you are. An actor you’re not. Now what’s going on?”

“I said I’m fine.” Raph curtly mumbled into his blanket.

“Still don’t believe you, try again.” Leo sighed as he rubbed at his eyes.

“I SAID I’M FINE.” Raph finally snapped a little too loudly, twisting his body to face his oldest brother. 

Leo winced at the volume of his brother’s expected outburst, then simply shook his head with an unimpressed frown. But before he could say another word, his expression changed as he noticed something about his fiery brother’s face. His mouth parted minisculely as he reached out his hand. 

Raph’s temper and pride demanded he swat it away, but his curiosity and love for his brother won out against his stubbornness. He remained still as Leo’s hand softly landed on the side of Raphael’s face, rubbing something wet off it.

Oh crap I’m crying.

DANG IT NOW HE’S NEVER GONNA LEAVE…

The concern over Leo’s face softened slightly, as he asked again, in a firmer “I am the oldest but I’m also your leader” tone, 

“What’s going on?”

Once again, Raph was completely trapped. Not by a psycho scientist, or by some evil, government organization, but by his perfectionistic, calm, and deeply concerned oldest brother.

There was no way he was going to get out of this one…

And that's it for this chapter! :) You all have been begging to see more of what happened to Don and Raph at the labs, so I present to you a nightmare~. This chapter was certainly tricky to figure out at first- with so many different scenes compiled together, it was hard to keep a steady flow for my reader, but I'm really happy with how it turned out! :) AAAAnd yes, I did say that I would only draw one panel for each chapter, but I COULDN'T HELP ITTTTTT!!!

Feel free to reblog and share this!

BIG THANK YOU to @poetique823 for helping me and encouraging me through this chapter!

@writer-in-wonder, @allyheart707, @oddartistl3, @risebabyx2, @joyjoygorl, @carrots-bear, @howtotrainyourdragonprince, @jasminegazer, @indieyuugure

If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, please comment down below! :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

(CW- Nightmares, past medical trauma, being held down, and mind control!!)

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[brightonstudios]

Guys please check out @truths33k3r4 comic it's absolutely amazing. The high quality art paired with an incredible and captivating story is just insane! That ending to book one had me on the edge of my seat! I can't wait to see what happens next!

[truths33k3r4]

CHAPTER 7 - Imprinted

(CW- Nightmares, trauma, vomiting, flashbacks)

Lotus woke with a thrashing gasp, the air in her lungs stolen by another nightmare. Her hand shakily rose to her plastron as she tried to calm her pounding heart. The echoes of the monster’s threats slowly faded from her mind, but the adrenaline and fear still loomed over her like an inescapable smaug. The dream still had its hold on her, morphing reality as it saw fit. Shadows seemed to come alive as their claws shot out from the darkness. Every wall sprouted eyes and began to close in on her. Her stomach twisted in discomfort as she fought to forget her dream, closing her eyes and reminding herself again and again that it was over. 

“I’m fine… It’s… It’s done..” She choked, still trying to regain her purloined breath.

Once the ghostly chorus of the phantom completely faded, she wearily opened her eyes. Everything had returned to normal, the shadows creeping back into their crevices awaiting the next time she would try to sleep. All the eyes had vanished from the walls. The room had stopped shrinking.

Before she could slump in relief her gut twisted again, making her wince as the discomfort only grew.

That’s weird… 

Lotus was fully aware of the repercussions of nightmares on her body. There were times she would wake drenched in sweat or shaking. Other nights she woke up so tense that her body physically ached, forcing her to stretch out her tight limbs and loosen up before attempting to sleep again. But this was different. Normally the discomfort would soften as she calmed herself down, the turbulence of her racing heart slowly returning to a steady beat. But this… this wasn’t normal.

The throb of discomfort only continued to grow, forcing Lotus to clutch her arms around her torso. Her stomach grew more and more tight, as the sharp pangs squeezed whimpers out of her lips. Nausea crept closer.

This isn’t good… This ISN’T GOOD.

She scrambled to think back to the last thing she ate, but came up empty. The last few days were a complete blur, smeared together in a mishmash of memories that left her with no decipherable answers. 

Seems this is becoming a recurring theme in my life.

Her bitter thoughts took a screeching halt as her stomach lurched.

Panic came flooding back into her heart in an instant as she shot her hand over her mouth in a feeble attempt to contain what she knew was coming.

No no nonononono!!!

With as much strength as she could muster, she frantically pulled herself upright. She could feel the acid quickly clawing its way up her throat, cutting off her gasping pleas for this new nightmare to cease. 

And as per usual, she quickly found that she had no control.

In a split second attempt to spare Leo’s mattress, Lotus jerked her entire body off the bed, landing hard onto the grainy tiles below. The impact of her fall sparked a terrible ache to ignite in her still healing leg, but the pain was quickly thrown to the back burner as the vile taste of acrid fumes filled Lotus’ mouth. Her head swayed as dizziness overtook her.

She closed her eyes in a tight wince as she shakily braced her hands onto the ground. Not a second later, her stomach’s contents disguised as stinging lava splattered over the floor, sealing her fate.

I’m sorry… I’m sorry! I’M SORRY!

The imprinted instinct to run and hide from her shame grew with each embarrassing second, but her limbs refused to carry her weight. In order to keep from landing face first into the mess, she used her swaying form to roll her body to the side. Once again, her head rang with the impact of hitting the floor, and her leg screamed at the rough treatment. Even with the remnants of acid burning her throat and nose, she couldn’t hold back crying out from the pain.

Her hands clutched onto her thigh, squeezing hard to hopefully stint the agony quickly spreading throughout the incision site. Tears began streaming down her cheeks as she pictured how pathetic she must have looked lying on the floor next to her own puke. The fact that she couldn’t listen to her instincts and hide made things so much worse. 

She was trapped, pinned down, and at the mercy of the first person through the doorway.

Her fears were made real as she heard the rush of footsteps come racing towards her. 

They can’t see this!! I… I can’t let them see this!!!

It’s just another mess for them to clean up! I’m being such a PAIN- They’ve been so nice and THIS is how I’m repaying that kindness?!? 

By becoming a hindrance?? A pest? 

What a way to say “thank you”, you charity case. 

Her bitter tears burned alongside her stinging throat as she hid her face into her shoulder.

Pathetic.

The racing footsteps finally made their way into the bedroom, and Lotus’ stomach squeezed as they raced towards her. 

Her mind was overtaken by the cold voices of her past.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??”

“UGH, DISGUSTING.”

“SEND IT TO DR O’NEIL, IT’S SICK AGAIN.”

More tears streamed down her cheeks as she braced for the same reprimands for what she had done. She tensed her body awaiting whatever punishment her captors saw fit.

“LOTUS! What happened?!?” Leo’s voice cried out as gentle hands were placed onto Lotus’ trembling shoulders. At the physical contact, her body let out an unavoidable flinch, bringing out a startled gasp from the oldest brother.

“Lotus.. What’s wrong?” He whispered as he drew back his hand.

“Are ya blind? She’s sick!” Raph yelled exasperatedly, but Lotus could sense little glints of concern hidden behind the fiery brother’s tone.

When she finally turned her face towards the brothers, she caught sight of Don frantically leaving the room. From what she could see of his expression, his face looked as though he was… afraid. Her sight was quickly brought back to Leo and Mikey leaning over her, asking her a multitude of questions that blurred into a cacophony of frantic voices. Once Leo caught on that she couldn’t understand what they were saying, the eldest slapped a hand over Mikey’s mouth. With the racket of panic silenced, Leo sighed and started over.

“What is going on? Are you in any pain?” He spoke as calmly as he could, though the facade wasn’t as effective thanks to the worry etched over his face and tense posture.

Lotus wanted to shrivel up and die. 

Before she could attempt to cover up the fact that she was indeed ill, her body once again reminded her of who was in charge. Another searing zing shot up her leg, and she had no choice but to cry out as she squeezed tighter to the offending limb. 

“Well, there’s your answer.” Raph flicked his hand gesturing to Lotus, “Come here, we’re gettin’ you off the floor.”

“Careful with her leg!” Leo warned, as Raph moved to pick Lotus up. “Hopefully she didn’t pull any of her stitches…”

Lotus’ stomach flipped at that horrifying thought. 

If she had pulled some of them, Leo would be forced to re-stitch her wound. That horrible experience was one she never wanted to relive. Her mind briskly reminded her of the pain she had felt at that moment in time, the prick and pull of the needle, and the fear that had forced her body to be sick.

Please, NOT AGAIN.

Another whimper squeaked out from her as Raph lifted her up, resulting in the fiery brother looking down at her in concern. He made sure to move extra slow so as to not reignite the pain in her leg. It somewhat worked. 

“Careful- Careful!” Leo hurriedly spoke as he ran to check on Lotus’ incision. “Alright Lotus, you need to hold still, okay? Don’t move- I just need to check something real quick.”

Swallowing down the urge to shudder at the familiar words, Lotus cried a silent prayer pleading for there to be no damage to her stitches.

Agonizingly slow seconds crept past as she waited for Leo to speak. To distract herself she tried looking around the room again, identifying the vast diversity of colors and textures strewn about the room; The dark crimson wall of Raph’s nook, the bright splotches of blues, yellows, and oranges on the wall underneath Mikey’s bunk bed, and the patterns adorning many articles of clothing haphazardly dropped and thrown across the room. 

The distraction helped a little. Her heart cautiously returned to a normal beat, and her mind began to empty out all the panic that had plagued it. She took a slow inhale and then let it out, allowing her head to carefully lean onto Raph’s plastron. She could hear his heart beating from under the hard, natural armor, and she leaned further as she let its steady rhythm overtake her anxieties. 

“Okay,” Leo began, making Lotus jolt out of her dazed stupor in an instant, “your stitches seem fine.”

If she could, Lotus would have jumped out of Raph’s arms and danced. But seeing how she was still weak and pathetic at the moment, she settled for just letting out a sigh of relief, dropping her head back down onto Raph’s chest.

“Now.. can you explain why you were sick?” Leo spoke as he gestured to the spot where Lotus had thrown up. Mikey was already finished cleaning the area on the floor with a slight grimace on his face. He gathered the used paper towels and threw them in the trash bin Don was holding.

Lotus’ brows creased as she noticed how pale Donatello looked. He held the trash bin an arms length away from himself, and his face twisted with way too many emotions all at the same time. His eyes remained strictly focused on the furthest wall as he was led by Mikey out of the room.

“Lotus? LOTUS!”

She twitched as her attention was yanked back to Leo, the eldest’s eyes drawn into tight, interrogative slits.

“Why. Were. You. Sick? Are you okay???” Leo asked with a hint of annoyance camouflaged under his calm tone.

Lotus shook her head to knock out all the interrupting thoughts clouding her mind, as Raph gently placed her onto Leo’s bed.

“S-sorry, Leo… I’m… I’m not sure why I’m sick.” Lotus’ voice was quiet and strained, trying to be careful of her still burning throat. It also didn’t help that her leg continued to pulse with deep aches, causing some words to cut off in sharp grunts or gasps. “My… NGH! My stomach h-hurts…”

“Alright- That’s okay!” Leo gently spoke, the annoyance quickly being forgotten as his question was finally somewhat answered. He held out his hands in a steadying gesture. “Do you think you were allergic to the crackers Mikey gave you earlier?”

Huh??

Lotus’ pained expression twisted again, not in discomfort but in confusion.

“W-What are you talking about? I didn’t eat any crackers.” She spoke in mild, whispered bewilderment, “At least… Not that I can remember…”

She turned her head to peer at the side table next to Leo’s bed. There was no plate or crumbs anywhere, so most likely she was never given a snack, right? Unless the dishes were taken away?.. But wouldn’t she have remembered that?

Am I missing something here????

She turned to face Leo again, but froze when she noticed his expression. His irises had shrunk to half their usual size, and his breathing caught in his throat. He joined his hands as if he were about to start praying, but his eyes remained wide open.

“...Are you telling me…You haven’t eaten anything all day?”

Lotus didn’t mean to shrink under Leo’s accidental scrutiny, but the eldest’s gaze was becoming more and more sharp by the second, and she could only withstand his “Mom glare”™ for so long.

“...Um…” Lotus squeaked under the growing pressure of Leo’s glare. She turned her gaze to Raphael in a desperate plea for support. The fiery brother refused to be helpful in the slightest, simply shrugging and holding his hands in mock surrender at Lotus’ pleading expression.

 She tried to gulp down the pebble stuck in her windpipe.

“...No?...”

Leo’s head instantly dropped onto the tips of his praying fingers with an exasperated sigh.

“Mikey…~” He groaned under his breath.

“Aw, come on, bro.” Raph mumbled to himself.

Confusion still twisting her features, Lotus was grateful to finally have Leo’s glacier glare off her, but she still had no idea what he was talking about. 

Her stomach twisted again, and all the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

“... I was supposed to eat before I took the pills, wasn’t I?”

Leo kept his face down as he groaned, “Yes.”

Lotus grit her teeth as she fought to keep her composure, her face scrunching into a barely contained snarl. Anger began to burn inside her, draping the shadows of doubt and bitterness over her heart once again. 

Here she was in the same situation as before; A victim of careless caretakers.

Nothing has changed.

I am such an IDIOT.

“That’s why I don’t feel right? It’s because of you? Again?!” Lotus’ voice grew in volume and venom with each accusation spat. “What is wrong with you?!?! WHAT WAS IN THOSE PILLS??” She yelled, as her hands whipped to point at the side table.

Leo’s head shot up as his hands separated, rising in placating surrender.

“N-no! It… it was an accident! Mikey was supposed to bring you something to eat so you could take the painkillers, but… he got… distracted. Something kinda…” Leo began to taper off as his shoulders rose stiffly. 

“...Came up.” Raph finished in a grumbling tone.

Lotus flung her arms in the air as an empty laugh erupted out of her snarling teeth. “Oh yes! A lot of something definitely came up.” She pointed to her aching stomach to prove her point.

Before Lotus could react, Raph had already stepped in between her and Leo, his arms tightly crossed, and his eyes in a piercing glare.

“HEY. You don’t know what happened back there.” Raph intervened, his low voice imitating a growl of warning, “Like Leo said, it was an accident. He’s not perfect, no matter how hard he tries to be.”

Leo’s whole body tensed after Raph’s words, the eldest’s expression flashing from fear to surprise to hurt.

Lotus unconsciously cowered at the sudden presence of Raphael’s towering form. His shadow looming over her brought back many unspeakable memories to light. She fought hard not to whimper or hide, but the fear lashing at her core stung and bled. The memories of a monster distorted her view of Raphael, smearing her reality with the darkness of her past. 

“Hold still, creature.” 

The searing anger burning her lungs and clouding her mind vanished as the ghost of Lotus’ past hissed all too familiar words.

“No. Get away!” Lotus cried out as she shielded her head with her arms. 

She had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere that was safe.

There was no haven that could protect her from the memories.

She was trapped all over again.

“I’m sorry! I’m s-s-sorry!” She whimpered into the crooks of her arms.

A beat passed as she waited for her punishment.

“Lotus… Is it alright if I touch you?” A kind voice asked, shining dim rays through the smaug of memories.

The voice was unlike any she had heard in the labs: Kind, soothing, gentle… But it wasn’t female like the good doctor. Its tones were lower, smooth like the facets of a diamond, and radiating with warmth.

Her instinct told her she could trust it.

Another beat passed as Lotus shakily nodded her head. Soon after, she felt the cool scales of a three-fingered hand land on her forearm. She winced, expecting the hand’s grip to tighten and yank her away. 

Instead, it delicately pulled down her arms.

 Her glistening eyes widened as the ghost before her vanished in the warm rays of the bedroom. As her last tears fell, the blurs of green, red, and blue morphed back into Raphael and Leonardo.

They looked so worried.

Leo’s face had fallen into a horrified frown, and Raph looked as though he had just accidentally ran over a puppy. Their expressions filled with concern brought a soothing confirmation to Lotus that they weren’t her old doctors. They couldn’t be.

Because they looked as though they cared.

She looked down to see Leo’s hand still placed on top of her forearm. There were no scratchy squeaks of latex, no icy grip, and not even five fingers. No one was tying her down. No one was cutting into her.

Instead, she felt a soft warmth emanate through the contact of Leo’s fingers on her skin. The grip wasn’t tight, yet it was still grounding. 

It felt so foreign and so right at the same time.

Emotions began to clash inside her, her past and present fighting in a mighty battle to gain control. Distrust and bitterness clawed at the growing rays of hope. Fear and trauma bit and scratched at the faded hands of peace.

Lotus took a leap of faith.

“I’m sorry. I-... I just… I h-h-hate feeling like… like t-this…” Lotus whimpered as all the fear drained from her body, taking her strength with it. “I’m.. I’m sorry, Leo.”

The corners of Leo’s mouth perked into a kind grin as his icy irises melted with compassion. Raph simply closed his eyes and nodded his head, his expression turning stoic, but not lacking sympathy. Lotus could still catch his concern peeking through as he stayed close to her bedside.

“It’s alright, I forgive you.” Leo spoke softly, as he delicately squeezed her arm. His smile grew the tiniest bit more when he saw that she didn’t flinch. “ And I… can’t blame you for being angry. I just should’ve brought you the snacks myself. It was my fau-”

Before Leo could finish his apology, his words were cut off by Raphael gripping the lip of the eldest’s shell, and yanking him forward so they were face-to-face. Leo let out an indignant yelp at the jarring motion. Raph poked an accusing finger into Leo’s plastron, rumbling in a tone that left no room for argument.

“-You say it’s your fault again and I’ll pelt you in the head with the back of my sai.”

Leo’s face flushed in an instant as he sputtered and squirmed in Raphael’s grip. 

“RAPH! Nghhh.. P-Put me DOWN!!”

As confused as Lotus was as to why the brothers were arguing, she made no attempt to ask. Even though she had gotten more than enough sleep in the last… Day? Days? Her body still ached, resulting in another large wave of exhaustion dragging her consciousness down further into the expectant darkness of sleep. 

Her eyelids began sinking…

Her thoughts fizzled out like the dying flames of a candle…

Just as her eyes closed and darkness filled her vision, a chilling presence emerged from the shadows, beckoning her to follow it deeper into the black of her nightmares once again. 

“-NO!” She gasped breathlessly as she forced her body to jerk upright.

Leo and Raph instantly stopped their tussling, whipping their heads in the direction of Lotus’ distress. Raph let go of Leo and they both drew closer to Lotus’ bedside, asking her what was wrong and why she was shaking.

 Her answer came in a frail voice drowning in terror and hopelessness.

“I’ll…I’ll never be free.”

Aaaand that's it for this chapter!! Now you're all finally seeing more of Lotus' perspective in this story. Some of her true colors revealed themselves in this chapter, as well as some answers about her past. And now we'll all see how the brothers will handle this broken girl. <3 This was one of my darker chapters, as you just read it focuses a good amount on Lotus' trauma, and how her captors created her view on the world and herself. This will be the base of her arc in this story.

Also, you probably noticed I only posted one illustration with this chapter. This was on purpose, cause I wanted to leave room for you guys to create your own picture of the scenes that occur in this chapter. :) Whether it be through your imagination or through fanart! This also helps me to not have as much work to do per chapter, so I can get more chapters finished and posted for you all faster! :)

Hope you enjoyed! Please feel free to reblog this!

BIG THANK YOU to @poetique823 for giving helpful critiques and suggestions with editing the chapter!! :)

@writer-in-wonder, @allyheart707, @oddartistl3, @risebabyx2, @joyjoygorl

(If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, just comment down below!) :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[truths33k3r4]

Day 9- Sibling's Voice Changes Overnight. (LOW) - SIW

I'm not sorry at all. Mikey is thirteen in my story- so of COURSE I had to have the highest pitched brother get the deepest of a voice. XD It was also super nice to draw Lotus interacting normally with the brothers too! (Yaknowinsteadofgettingchokedbyonefromanalternatereality) I also got to draw my turts in some clothes again!!! :) I don't do that enough it seems....hmm.

Anyways, enjoy! :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

~ TMNTember Prompts List ~

[truths33k3r4]

....... Imma need this..

Book Two is gonna get....

funnnn.. ;)

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[truths33k3r4]

This is what happens when me and @allyheart707 are chatting about how adorable her turtles are with tails- It made me wonder....

..What would my SIW turtles look like? How would they react to having tails when they've lived their whole lives without them?

Hehehehehe chaos ensued quickly after~

Ok- Now that I'm done this little fun project, I can actually get back to writing the next chapter of SIW! See you guys later! :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

CHAPTER 6 - Brotherly Intervention

Don woke with an undignified SHHHNRK screeching out of his nostrils. A lean thread of spit gracelessly hung from his mouth, pooling into a disgusting puddle around his cheek.

Ew- gross- no- WHY??

His brain sent a signal to his right arm to lift and wipe away the offending slimy fluid now adorning his face. 

Apparently his body had a bad wifi connection- cause his arm refused to move. Something heavy was pressed down on his upper bicep, making it impossible for his hand to reach his face. With a quick test, he found that his left arm had fallen to the same fate.

Before claustrophobia began to take its toll, the whispered snores of his brother swiftly brought him back to reality in an instant. His twin’s shell was still flopped lifelessly over Don’s body, crushing any and all of his vital organs, as well as smushing his face deeper into the mattress below him. The pressure uncomfortably pressed his glasses further into his face.

Ah, yes. How could I forget? I’m being held against my will. 

After shaking away the fogginess of sleep, he weaseled his hands and knees below Raph’s body and shoved as hard as he could. Raph’s more quiet snoring faltered in glitchy spurts as his body slowly rose with each push from his smothered twin. Finally, with one last heave, Raph came crashing down off the side of the bed, pulling off the red blanket with him, and releasing Don from his twin’s cuddly prison. The fiery brother let out a few unceremonious expletives as he rubbed the back of his head. 

“-GAhhhhhhh Don! What the actual shell????”

Don unapologetically smirked as he sat up at the edge of the bed looking down at his fallen brother. But before he could shoot back his own insult, something caught his eye. He leaned his head to the side to get a better view.

“Why did you DO THA-” 

Don shushed his twin by whipping up one of his fingers to his lips. At Raph’s questioning brow, Don pointed to what he had seen:

Lotus, sound asleep and snuggling Leo’s blanket into her beak. 

Don watched as every ounce of anger in his twin’s body evaporated into thin air. With a defeated huff, Raph yanked off his hoodie and gestured with his head to the doorway of the bedroom. Don nodded, and both twins ninja’d their way to the hall, making sure not to disturb their slumbering guest. 

. . .

“So… how was your nap?” Raph smirked knowingly as the two brothers walked through the hall.

Don rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Oh, just wonderful. I love sleeping with one hundred and fifty two pounds of dead weight crushing my organs.” He deadpanned.

Raph snickered at that, but then his face changed. Don ran through the different emotions in his head, trying to decipher what was going through his fiery twin’s mind. As his brain calculated, Raph eventually spoke up.

“...So um…Are you uh… Are ya doin’ better now?” 

Don’s brow rose at such a sincere question from his twin, until he remembered how he had found his way into the brother’s bedroom in the first place.

Oh…right… 

“I’m fine now, Raph. Promise.”

Don watched as his twin’s expression went from concerned to unimpressed. Raph’s single brow rose interrogatively. 

“Oh come on, I’m being honest. I swear I’m okay now. Just had a… moment, that’s all.” Don counteracted his twin’s scrutiny of his words. He wasn’t lying, of course. Raph would see right through any kind of badly disguised deception he could play out, so there was never a point to hiding the truth from him. 

“Yeahhhh I know what that’s like..” Raphael sighed to himself, and then turned back to Don. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Tis but a bump in the road.” Don stated sarcastically, “Guess it would have been wrong if we had come out of something like that unscathed.” 

Raph shuddered, a choked breath escaping his lungs, as he began to rub his shoulders. Don wished the icy fear in their hearts could be relinquished by a gesture so small.

The twins soon arrived just outside the living room, but were abruptly halted at the broken sounds of… weeping.

What in the world?

The twins froze in place. Don and Raph simultaneously turned toward each other with wide, pleading eyes. Heterochromatic irises searched the other’s for any answers, but found none. The sounds of their brother’s sniffles and tears only grew the awkwardness of the situation. What are you supposed to do in this kind of moment anyway? Just go and join those who are mourning? UH- NO THANKS.

Don and Raph leaned their heads in the hall’s archway, attempting to identify the tragedy unfolding in front of them.

Don had to hold back a thin gasp as his eyes fell on Leo and Mikey in a tight embrace on the couch. He would’ve expected Mikey to be crying- his littlest brother had always been more sensitive, and would be found countless times mourning over things like a dead mouse in the tunnels, to a fallen prey animal on the Nature Channel. The youngest’s tender heart had resulted in hundreds of meltdowns and crying sessions over the years. So yeah, that was to be expected.

But Leo was crying too. 

Leo doesn’t cry in front of anyone. Not if he can help it. If there ever were times in the past when his oldest brother had reached that kind of breaking point, he would go and run off into one of the forgotten tunnels of the sewer they call home. Don recalled a time years ago when Mikey had broken Leo’s special mug, ending with the oldest scrambling away in an emotional whirlwind. Raph had simply told him that Leo “just needed a break of whatever”, as his fiery twin pressed an ice pack to his swelling right eye. 

The point was- Leo doesn’t break easily. 

Therefore, something was seriously wrong.

Don knew his twin shared his thoughts on the matter, as he arched his neck to meet Raph’s gaze. The fiery brother shrugged with a helpless expression. Don sighed, then gestured with his head to go to their brothers. Raph’s shoulders rose in discomfort as he took a quick inhale, and steeled himself.

Let’sss get this over with.

Don grabbed Raph’s hand and led his slightly embarrassed twin to their whimpering brothers. Raph followed Don’s example by purposefully making their ninja-silent footsteps far more detectable, so as to not frighten their brothers. It worked, because with one single footstep of the twins onto the fluffy carpet, Leo’s head jerked up as he immediately began wiping away his tears.

Yeah, nice try oh perfect leader. 

“D-Don! Raph!” Mikey shouted in surprise, as he too began slowly wiping away what was left of his tears. 

“H-How… how long have you been-” Leo started.

“-Long enough.” Don finished.

The oldest’s face fell instantaneously at Don’s curtness.   

“What happened? I can expect this from Mikey, but not you, Leo. What is going on?” 

“Hey!” Mikey squawked, clearly offended.

“Can it, Mike,” Raphael added, “you’d hold a funeral for a ‘DEAD END’ sign on the road.“

The red hue left from Mikey’s tears quickly spread to his cheeks as he gasped dramatically. 

“That’s not true! Ugh! You sound just like when we found poor Mr.Parmesan- JUST CAUSE HE WAS A MOUSE DIDN’T MEAN HE DIDN’T MATTER, RAPH. That poor little thing probably had a family!! A wife, fifteen kids, and another on the way- AND THEN HE’S DEAD!!! Who would pay the mortgage?? Who would bring home little cheese wheels for dinner?? WHO, RAPH? WHO?!?!” Mikey mournfully bellowed in a burst of anger.

Oh BROTHER.

Before Don’s twin was given a chance to continue this fruitless argument of a mouse’s worth in the world, Don changed the subject to something that actually mattered.

“Enough of that, Mikey. Not the point.” Don scolded with a raised finger at the youngest, to which Mikey huffed and fell back into the cushions of the couch with his arms crossed. “Leo, spill. What’s going on?”

The oldest’s eyes widened as he quickly realized he wouldn’t be let out of this awkward situation so easily. He didn’t speak a word, only just finishing wiping away the remainder of his tears.

“Well??” Raph pressured.

“It’s fine. We’re uh.. We’re fine, right Mikey?” Leo asked, silently pleading with Mikey to support him in the obvious attempt at deceiving. 

“Leo, dude, it’s a sin to lie. You know that.” Mikey scolded the oldest with a finger of his own waving in the air. “Nice try, but this time you’re not gonna ninja your way outta this one.”

Leo’s face hardened from the treachery of the youngest, but his resolve slowly fell through his fingers as he came to the conclusion that he was, indeed, caught.

“We… we were just talking-”

“-About what?” Raph interrupted, knowing Leo was trying to evade his answer to the question.

“- I’m GETTING THERE, Raph!” Leo burst, slamming his fists down onto the cushions below him. With a strangled sigh, the anger on his face soon vanished and was replaced with something else. His fists slowly opened as he took a long exhale. He looked like he was thinking. Planning.

“... We were going over what… happened.” Leo's vobrato diminished with each word, eventually ending his sentence in a barely heard whisper.

“Are you allergic to being specific? Afraid that if you tell the absolute truth you’ll just combust??” Don shouted exasperatedly, waving his hands into the air.

“-IT WAS MY FAULT YOU GUYS WERE TAKEN, OKAY?!?” Leo screamed as he shot up from the couch, and jabbed a self-accusing thumb at his plastron. “You never would have been found if I hadn’t allowed you to go that night! You would have never gone th-through… through HELL if I HAD JUST MADE A BETTER CALL!”

Everyone in the room went deathly silent as Leo finally broke right in front of them. In a pained whisper, he spoke,

“It was… it was all my fault.”

Don didn’t know what to do. He legitimately had no clue how to handle this situation. Because… 

Leo was right.

Had the leader not given permission to him and his twin to go to the scrap yard, they would never have been attacked and sent to the labs. 

It was Leo’s fault.

But he can’t agree!! Even if it’s true, siding with the oldest would only break him more. But Don can’t lie! That won’t do anybody any good! - AND STAYING SILENT WILL ONLY CONFIRM LEO’S SUSPICIONS THAT HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT IT BEING HIS FAULT! 

WHAT THE SHELL DO I DO?!?!

“Leo, all you did was make a mistake.” 

Everyone’s heads turned towards the quiet voice of Mikey. The youngest’s eyes held a deeply-rooted concern in them that made Don realize he and Raph weren’t the only ones who were wounded during their time taken from their family. 

Leo must have been blaming himself this whole time… How could I be so stupid to think me and Raph were the only people affected by what happened? 

They must’ve been so worried…

“Guys, please back me up here! Tell him!” Mikey turned towards Raph and Don with his brilliant blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Tell him it’s not his fault!”

Don froze as he was mentally backed into a corner. 

Fact- It was Leo’s decision to allow us to go to the scrapyard. If he hadn’t, we never would have been captured.

Fact- Leo never would have expected our capture to occur that night, so technically, it was indeed an accident.

Fact- Accident or not, his decision is what led to the unfortunate outcome.

Fact- You are screwed and there’s no right answer here.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Don clenched his teeth and felt sweat begin to bead on his forehead as every single set of eyes in the room fell onto him. On top of the heavy layer of scrutiny, there also came another weight in the form of silence, seeping from the cold of the room into his brain, and eliminating every brain cell trying to coach him out of the situation. 

Panic forced his mouth to open before his brain could fight back.

“It is his fault, Mikey.” Don briskly stated, resulting in a shocked gasp from the youngest and a horrified expression to loom over Leo’s face. Even Raph’s scowl twisted in surprise. “In all accounts, if Leo had never allowed us to leave, we never would have been caught.”

Shame dragged the eldest’s gaze to the floor. 

“-BUT!” Don shouted with his hands held up in a calming motion towards Leo, “...You never could have known that would happen. We don’t-...”

Don turned towards Raph for a confirmation, and his fiery twin nodded supportingly. The freckled brother took a breath as he slowly walked up to his wounded leader. With a hand calloused from years of repairs and tools, Don firmly planted his palm onto Leo’s shoulder as he knelt down. The eldest slowly lifted his head to meet his little brother’s gaze. 

“...We do not blame you, Leo. I promise to God, we don’t.” Don spoke resolutely, as he gazed directly into Leo’s icy irises. He kept eye contact, however awkward, to instill in his oldest brother how sincerely he believed what he said. 

“This was your fault.” Raph added, joining his twin at Leo’s and Mikey’s side. His expression mirrored Don’s, full of confidence and sincerity, but Don noticed that Raph was refusing to look Leo in the eye. “Even the golden child screws up sometimes. We can’t hold it against ya that you’re only human. Er- well, sort of- YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.” Raph flushed almost as brightly as the hue of his mask, getting swallowed by all the emotions swirling around the room like an inescapable mist. The flustered brother’s attempt at condolence sparked a few warm smiles to alight on his brothers’ faces. 

Even Leo’s. Though his expression resembled confusion and surprise more than joy.

With a defeated sigh, Leo sat up straighter and looked at each of his brothers standing at his side. His gaze traveled over every one of them: Mikey, Don, and hesitantly Raph. When Don’s fiery twin eventually looked Leo in his eyes, the leader’s face warmed into a meek smile. Raph’s brows creased in thought, as well as shared hesitance, and eventually landed into a subtle returned grin.

“Th-thanks guys.” Leo spoke as he reached his hand to land gently onto Don’s arm. He gave it a firm squeeze as his voice hitched. “I’m.. I’m still so sorry it happened.” He let out in a strained whisper. “We…we searched for so long.. I’m so sorry.”

Don and Raph turned towards each other with concern carved into every line on their faces. Raph instinctively reached his hand to land on his right arm, massaging the scarred limb. Don automatically went to fix his glasses, quickly being reminded of how grateful he was to be able to see properly again. He could feel the rooted chill of their past stretching its clawed hands over him and his twin, and he recognized the stiffness in Raph’s posture, a sign that he was forcing himself not to shiver. A question so simple, and one he should’ve asked long ago, but somehow never thought to:

How long had we been captured?

Don had never really thought about it. He tried to count the times he had been “fed”, but the minutes and hours blurred together and he quickly lost track. The lack of windows kept them from ever seeing the sun fall or rise, so that was no help. And the little sadists called doctors made sure to not have any calendars in their hell holes. Once Leo and Sensei burst into the lab to save them, no questions were asked. There was just no time. And once they got home…

Flashes of Leo shouting at someone blurred past Don’s mind.

Blood and bruises.

Someone hurriedly pulling needles out of his skin.

Leo carrying Lotus’ still form into the Medbay.

Mikey telling him he had been asleep for two days.

…There had just been too much happening at once.

“Leo..” Don carefully spoke. “How…” He gulped as the weight of the question he was about to ask truly hit him. “How long were we gone?”

Leo looked into Don’s face, his shy smile falling once again, as the jaws of pain and guilt came crashing down on him. The sharpness of the question’s fangs pierced into Leo’s heart in horrendous agony to the point that he let out a faint whimper. The eldest’s head fell solemnly into his hands, and with a mournful tone, he whispered words that shook Don and Raph’s hearts.

“Eighteen days.”

GUESS WHO'S BACK HAHAHHAHA!!!!! It felt AMAZING to get to writing again! This chapter holds a lot of, as we call it in filmmaking, "build up". Many different plot points are being established of what's going to happen in this story. Let's see how many of you can catch where they'll lead. ;)

BIG THANK YOU to @poetique823 for proof-reading this, and helping me with great suggestions! :)

@writer-in-wonder, @allyheart707, @oddartistl3, @risebabyx2, @joyjoygorl, @

Thanks for reading! Feel free to reblog!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[truths33k3r4]

DAY 13- Realizing They’re Poisoned after the Battle is Long Over” - SIW

(Sketch form for now!)

(TW for stab wound, blood, poison, collapsing)

Nice to finally put the spotlight on my favorite tough guy, Raph. :) This comic took a WHILE to complete, but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out! (So far~) I may add or subtract panels once I finish these sketches digitally, but we’ll see. :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

Hey guys! Sorry it's been a bit since I've posted much- Things have been hectic and I got sick many times, so I've been doing a lot of resting lately. However~ BECAUSE I've been resting, I've been drawing a lot. :) So uh- enjoy!

With my SIW character Expression Sheets, I used references from this graph of expressions- I don't know who the original artist was, but I still wanted to clarify that I used their graph!

If you got any questions about any of my art, feel free to ask below, or send me an ask and I'll answer as soon as I can! :) Have a great day, guys!!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

CHAPTER 1 - BREATHE

Raph’s mind was drawing a gaping blank... Well, besides the panicked screaming echoing on repeat...

WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO???????!!

Today had already been full of uncomfortable situations. Enough tears had leaked through his eye sockets to rival those bad actors on one of Sensei’s tv shows. He became a stinkin’ breathing waterfall. Of..emotions. And now, here he was being clung to by a complete stranger. A stranger like him, but still a stranger. And now she’s crying TOO.

Raph lifted his eyes to the sky in a desperate plea.

Why did it have to be me?? Why couldn’t Mikey have done this?? Why do You enjoy stretchin’ me to my limit??? I’ve already been FEELING enough, now I got to deal with OTHER’S EMOTIONS???

Small hands continued to latch onto his. He didn’t try to pull away, but DANG IT ALL he was fighting against the constant urge not to.

I could text Mikey. Y-yeah, I could text him, he could come, do his little empathy magic, while I leave and sort things out… Ughhh but he doesn’t always carry his phone on ‘im. UNLESS OF COURSE HE NEEDS BLACKMAIL AGAINST ME- THEN IT MAGICALLY APPEARS IN HIS FLIPPIN’ HANDS.

The silence in the room amplified the awkwardness of his situation a staggering amount.

I could text Leo……

He wasn’t that desperate yet.

As he continued to try to make a plan of escape, a small sniffle pulled him out of his thoughts. He lowered his gaze back onto Lotus. However much of a complete stranger she was, she was still- well she looked just like a kid; So small and skinny.

And scared.

This… isn’t about me….right..

“Hey- hey, kid. It’s.. it’s ok. Ya need to calm down. At least take a breath.”

Lotus’ shoulders rose and fell as she forced a small puff of air into her lungs. It was pathetic, but at least she tried.

“I guess that’ll do for now.” Raph mumbled as he changed his position on the floor to something a bit more comfortable. “How about you do it again? In and out. Just try to hold it for three seconds.”

Lotus took another shaky breath in and was able to hold it for a little over two seconds, before she let it out again.

Still pathetic, but still progress.

“That’s it. Keep doin’ that. I know it’s been a bit.. scary comin’ here. Especially with my crackhead brother freakin’ you out… But uh- we may be freaks, but we don’t bite.”

Lotus finally looked up, and released some of her grip on Raph’s hand. It seemed that all of her tears had finally been spent, now replaced with a look of complete exhaustion.

It hadn’t been an easy day for anyone.

“Th- thank you, Rapha-…. Raph.” Lotus brokenly squeaked with a grateful smile. “You- you sound just like your brother.. The blue one- Um…Leo.”

Raph jolted in surprise as his brows creased in doubt.

“I’m nothin’ like him.” Raph offhandedly stated.

“Yeah sure,” Lotus scoffed, highlighting her exhausted complexion with a tinge of playful sarcasm, “ how could brothers ever act alike? My bad.”

Raph sat there with his mouth slightly ajar, blinking.

“I mean- YEAH, we’re brothers, but that doesn’t mean we’re all the same! This ain’t no cartoon where the only thing that defines us is our costume colors!”

“Huh. But you’re all soooo alike.. It’s probably a good thing you wear different colored masks, so people can tell you apart.” Lotus taunted, making Raph’s face burn in exasperation and a hint of embarrassment.

“N-NO, WE ARE NOT.” Raph sputtered indignantly, “I’M the tough guy, Don does machines, Leo’s the leader, and Mikey-” Raph takes a millisecond to think, “-We don’t know what Mikey is- But we are NOT ALL THE SAME.”

Raph looks back at Lotus and notices the gigantic, Mikey-Grade smile now shining on her face.

Little. Twerp.

Raph had to admit, it was funny. Clearly Lotus had enjoyed every second of tormenting him, but there was no way he was going to let her get away with it.

“Ya little brat! You’re trying to tick me off on purpose- what, did Mikey put you up to this???”

Raph playfully punched Lotus’ shoulder to congratulate her on a job well done. Though, going by her slightly pained expression after the hit, he realized he apparently punched her a little too hard..

“Heheh.. My bad..” He apologized as Lotus began rubbing her now sore arm.

“It’s fine..” Lotus snickered through a wince.

The room went silent.

Great. First emotions, now awkward silence. Just hittin’ all the marks today.

Raph used his unclutched hand to rub at his neck, as Lotus began looking around the room. Normally, during a moment of silence, a person would be contemplating what their next opener will be to a conversation, or even just taking in the scenery around them.

Not Raph.

No, he was too busy shriveling in the burning heat of awkwardness and feelings. He felt like a worm slowly getting cooked on the sidewalk.

Master Splinter had always taught Raph and his brothers the importance of caring for others; Putting their needs before your own and all that jazz. But just because he was taught that from a young age, didn’t make it any easier for him to do. He tried though! .. In his own way. A little jab to the arm here, a quick “good job” there… But that was the extent of his emotional capabilities.

And now here he is. The most emotionally-inept brother stuck with the impossible goal to comfort a weeping female turtle mutant. Fantastic.

The grating silence was disturbed by a prompt “SORRY!” from Lotus, as she finally released Raph from his prison her grip. Raph chuckled to himself as he began massaging his now freed wrist.

“It’s fine. You got a good grip on ya.” Raph was very grateful Lotus had decided to cling to his left arm.

“O-Oh.. Uh.. thanks.” Lotus shrugged, as she forced her hands back under the covers. She then tried to lay back down, but winced as she moved her recovering leg.

“O-ow!”

“Hey, you ok?” Raph turned to her, gripping his hand steadily on her shoulder to hopefully grant her more stability, “You shouldn’t be movin’ around too much. You still gotta heal.”

Lotus only nodded as a response, as Raph helped her lower her head back down to the pillow.

Ok- before things get quiet again- JUST SAY SOMETHING. Chat about the weather, favorite tv series- SOMETHING.

“Soo..Where’d you get those marks on your head and arms?”

REALLY?? THAT’S THE BEST YOU CAN DO??? Where do ya THINK SHE-

“..Um.. I was born with them?.. I think?” Lotus said in uncertainty as she looked over the star-like markings decorating her shoulders.

..She thinks?

“..How about you?” Lotus gestured to Raph’s arms.

“I was born with em’ too.”

“Even those scars?”

Raph’s pupils constricted as his eyes widened. His hand slowly raised to touch the deep green slash over his right eye, as his gaze lowered to peer at the lightning bolt scar imprinted into his skin at the tip of his plastron.

“N-nah. Didn’t get these until I got older.” His voice lowered almost to a whisper as memories replayed in his mind. He had to take a deep inhale to slow his brain down. He pointed up to the scar on his face. “This was an accident.”

Please change the subject.

“Oh..” Lotus nodded in understanding, “What about-”

Raph and Lotus both flinched as Don came staggering into the bedroom. His throat choked on every breath being squeezed out of his lungs, and his shoulders trembled.

“-DON?? What’s goin’ on? Are you oka-”

Raph looked into his twin’s eyes. He recognized the overwhelming fear plaguing his brother’s face. He knew it all too well. The silent link between the two connected in an instant, with message after message from Donatello.

( HELP. HELP. THEY WON’T STOP- I CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP. )

“Don, it’s ok! BREATHE.”

Raph watched as his twin’s gaze went from panicked to unfocused. He probably didn’t hear a word Raph had said.

The crimson-clad brother got off the floor and turned to Lotus.

“You good? I- I gotta take care of my brother-” He promptly asked, twisting his head from Lotus to Don with each word.

“Yeah, I’m fine-”

“-Kay. Rest up. Chill. Don’t move your leg. Take the two pills on the side table.”

And with that, Raph ran to his twin just in time to catch him before the purple-clad brother fell to the ground in a wheezing heap.

. . .

Donatello’s head pulsed with a deep ache as all his anxiety and fear combined into a tormenting storm in his body. Thunderbolts of adrenaline shot through his arms and legs forcing them to tremble. His instincts shouted for him to find help. GET HELP. GET HELP NOW.

Without his permission, his legs began moving towards the brothers’ bedroom. He didn’t register quite yet what he was doing, but it felt right to search for some semblance of comfort from one of his brothers. And by the fact that his heart rate and breathing were accelerating at a dangerous pace, he knew he needed to move as fast as he could before his low oxygen levels caught up.

HELP.

Donatello’s mind still thundered loudly with the echoes of his horrible memories, but then the sound of someone’s worried tone parted some of the clouds.

“-D-N?? W-’s goin’ on? - yo- oka-”

( HELP. HELP. THEY WON’T STOP- I CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP. )

The world remained a shadowed blur as he fought to gain back control of his body. The voice- Raphael’s voice, was telling him to breathe, which sounded like a wise thing to do. With each forced breath, Don’s vision slowly cleared. The red and green blur in front of him crystallized into the face of his worried twin. Don’s head continued to swim in the raging currents of adrenaline, but at least now he knew he was safe. The subtle waves of his brother’s comfort washed over him in a cool, refreshing tide. Fear and panic drained from his mind, leaving nothing but peaceful exhaustion. With a deep sigh, every ounce of adrenaline left him.

Quickly following his sigh, he all of a sudden felt the sensation of his brother’s arms wrapped around him, along with the coarse texture of grout and tiles scratching into his knees.

How did I get on the floor??..

Oh- right- Hyperventilation leads to low oxygen levels.. which leads to dizziness..

which leads to f- faaaain-

..I don’t feel so good…

“DUDE WHAT DID I JUST SAY!??! BREATHE GOSH DANG IT!!!!”

Ahhh my loving brother. So gentle. So polite.

“DON- Dude- DON’T MAKE ME SMACK YOU.”

Well that would be rude.

“I’M GIVIN YA TO THE COUNT OF THREE.”

..Why are we counting?

“ONE.”

Wait- what did he say again?

“TWO.”

Oh- he wants me to take a breath so my oxygen levels will return to normal leading to-

Don’s thought was literally smacked out of his head.

“H-heyyy!” Don coughed, after taking a big gasp after the blow, “Ow.”

“WELL- Ya wouldn’t BREATHE. I PANICKED.”

Raph’s smack wasn’t even that hard compared to those he’d given during one of their thousands of arguments. It was quite successful in clearing Don’s head..

Still though- ow.

And that's it for this chapter! :)

WE MADE IT GUYS!!! WE'RE OFFICIALLY IN BOOK TWO!!!!!! :) WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I have SO MANY PLANS for this book guys- I have a timeline, notes in my phone, in my notebook, AND on my computer!!!! THIS IS GONNA BE FUNNN~

I know my last book ended on a cliffhanger with the flashback, and TRUST ME- WE WILL CONTINUE WITH THAT- But first, I wanted to slowly bring you all back to the current story, where it's a bit more... calm, before I explain what happened to Don, Lotus, and Raph. Just take this little breath..

..cause you're gonna need it.

Anyways, hope you enjoy!! If you liked it, please feel free to reblog this!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[truths33k3r4]

Is Leo will be sick, and what will happend ?

Hmmm. Do you mean "If Leo got sick, who would take care of him and be the team medic"? If so, I think I got an answer for ya. :)

(SIW Spoilers below!)

So, it is canon in my universe of TMNT for Leonardo to be the medic of the team. This position matches well with his eldest sibling role and his caring and gentle heart. However, sometimes things will happen that will force him to bestow/pass on this role- one of the main ones being when he falls ill or gets hurt.

Now, I really had to think about who he would give the role of "medic" to out of his brothers. (assuming Splinter isn't home or around). I already KNOW it wouldn't be Donatello- going by this simple example below of how he usually reacts to any kind of germs in the lair:

...As you can see, he wouldn't fit that role all too well. XD Despite being the definition of "THOROUGH" when it comes to sanitation, and understanding everything about bacteria and germs and how to burn them into oblivion, Don has a very difficult time showing any kind of empathy or nurturing. Rattling off facts can only be so helpful when it comes to comforting a suffering patient- so Leo wouldn't be all that quick to choose his freckled brother if he could help it.

Then there's Raphael- He can be just as caring, (and sometimes even just as gentle) as Leo. He loves his family dearly, but doesn't handle medical supplies all that well ever since returning from his time in the labs with Don. He's also not the best at handling situations when he doesn't immediately know what to do, usually choosing fight or flight rather than thinking past his feelings and emotions and doing what needs to be done. These factors, mixed with his past medical-based trauma, proves to Leo that Raph couldn't handle the pressures and uncertainty of being medic.

Leo would NEVER subject Lotus to perform any kind of medical procedures if he could. Knowing of her haunting past, and how she's still fighting the urge to run and hide when she's in the Medbay, she would never be his first pick to take over as medic. It also doesn't help that some of her medical-based trauma was sparked because of him.

And then there's Michelangelo- Whom is the actual answer to this question. If Leo had to pick one of his bros to take the role, it would be him. And I'll explain why. :)

First off, Mikey is in the Medbay the most out of all Leo's brothers. He's constantly getting himself hurt by not being careful, and each time he injures himself, Leo subjects him to a long rant/lesson about how dumb he was being and how the oldest was going to treat it. Scolding quickly became basic teaching. Leo would take every opportunity he could to call Mikey over and show him how to treat different injuries. And because Mikey loves hanging out with his oldest bro, he would never refuse to hear a lesson, so he found great joy when Leo called him over to practice basic first aid or watch a video about certain medical procedures. Eventually, Mikey became excited to learn as well as hang out with Leo.

This wasn't that much of a problem until blood was involved.

Just at the mere sight of the crimson liquid, Mikey would lose either one of two things: his lunch or his consciousness. And Leo quickly realized that he had to help his little bro get over his phobia if he were ever chosen to be the next medic or expected to care for one of his injured brothers on missions.

The following weeks were spent trying to desensitize Mikey to the sight of blood, (which was not easy seeing how Leo's student would be fighting not to pass out or hurl his guts out during each lesson.) But eventually, Mikey would at least be able to stomach seeing it and carry out any and all medical needs to the best of his ability whenever Leo wasn't available.

Cause someday there would come a time when Leo might not be there.

Hope this answers your question! :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

Melissa has your character design for the turtles change like now vs your first drawing of the turtles?( Srry for bothering you at late hours)

No need to apologize, @notadorkygod! I was able to catch your message before I went to bed last night. :)

OKAY. Now to answer your question~

Ohhhhhohohohhhh yes. The overall designs of my characters haven't really changed, but the way of how I draw them definitely has!

For starters... Here are the first pieces of concept art I ever drew for my story.

Now let's compare. :)

Here's more recent drawings for SIW.

Comparing the two, there are some very clear differences: the shape of the head especially, as well as the markings on their carapaces, and the volume of their mask tails. There's also small details that have changed like the amount and size of Don's freckled markings on his arms and face, (before there were six markings on his arms, now there are five, and they're much bigger).

Overall, the biggest difference I see is how much my knowledge of the body and its structure has changed over time. XD Did you SEE the SIZE of those FIVE HEADS?!?! As I tell my family when we're reviewing old art or stories of ours, "If you cringe at it now, it just means that you've grown from that point". ;)

Thanks for the question!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

*notices everyone is putting pretty clothes on their turtles*

..THIS I CAN DO. :)

Here's another screenshot re-draw from 2003, but with all of my turtles in their fancy clothes. :) I've always loved drawing clothes and designing outfits, ( One of my first art jobs was a character designer in a LEGO themed tv show ), so this was A LOT OF FUN TO DO!! :) I based some of the brother's clothes on the 2003 versions, but still gave them their own unique twists. :) ( I seriously want Don's jacket- JDFHIKD )

Hope everyone's having a nice day today! :)

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

The Strength in Weakness Masterpost

Have you ever wondered why you were made the way you are? Why you were designed with nervous ticks, bad habits you can't break, or even.. a body you never wanted?

These are questions that plague the minds of 5 teenage mutant turtles.

" Why can't I be normal?? " " Why do I have unique physical limitations that no one else has to deal with? "

" .... WHY AM I LIKE THIS? "

Follow Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Lotus as they learn how to help each other through their quirks, trauma, and especially - their WEAKNESSES.

To God be the glory!!

How the story came to be~ 2023 TMNT Whumptober Art!

Bonus Sillies XD

~ CHAPTERS ~

~ BOOK ONE ~

A Stranger in Our Home

Always There to Catch You

Awake and CONFUSED

'Signs' of Life

Raph's Bad Student

The 'Subject' at Hand

Leo's Promise

Hidden Scars

Melodious Mirth

A Dangerous Game

A Steady Hand and a Racing Heart

Trying

A Prick and a Pull

Ghost of Her Past

A Leader's Nightmare

Facing Faults and Facts

IQ vs EQ

The Fight He Can't Win

Silent Connections

Concealed Concern

Lost Control

Make Him Make Sense

Laughter Doeth Good

Hard Words to Swallow

Grieving Cadence

Blurs and Pixels

Specter

An Un-Sound Mind

Beginning of Their Nightmares

A Chance

~ BOOK TWO COMING SOON!! ~

BREATHE

The Weight of Silence

Useless Protector

The Vibrance of Hope

The Stain of Guilt

Brotherly Intervention

Imprinted

Deceptive Answers

Dreams of the Haunted

[truths33k3r4]

What’s the worst thing the turtles ever got in trouble over

Hey, Anon!! :)

This is gonna be another long postttttt~ BUCKLE UP.

Alright- Like usual, I will go through each turtle at a time.

Mikey will normally get in trouble with Leo over not being careful enough with his tender right ankle. This occurs many times in his life and in the story. The worst punishment he ever had though, was when he was forced to stay behind and heal instead of going out and joining Leo in trying to find their lost brothers. It also didn't help that he did it to himself, attempting to show off and do a flip over the couch and hurting his dumb ankle in the process.

Leo would usually get in trouble with cheating in school, as well as later taking his role of leader too seriously. Splinter would fuss over him and demand he go and eat and rest. (Rather than sit in his room and re-play how training went and how he could've done better.) But the worst time he got in trouble was when he made the horrible decision to sneak into Sensei's room with his little brother and try out Splinter's katanas hung on his wall. Being only the ages of 11 and 10, the boys weren't yet allowed to use real weapons during training. But their curiosity got the better of them.

Leo is reminded of his past recklessness every time he looks at the slash across Raphael's eye.

Raph seemed to love getting into trouble, based solely on the fact that he was in "time out" or stuck with extra chores fairly often throughout his childhood. Sometimes the reason was he used that really cool new word from tv- or he mouthed off defended himself during school, but there was one specific instance that sticks out from the rest:

The day he saved Mikey.

Allllllll the way back in Chapter 2 of Book One, Mikey finds himself hanging upside down by his right ankle during training to climb up ropes. Raphael sees his little brother in distress and jumps in to help with no regards for his own safety. During Mikey's rescue, Raph loses his grip and they begin sliding down the rope at a faster and faster speed. Raph sacrifices his hands and grips down onto the rope, the fibers burning and slicing into his palms and fingers.

After all is said and done, he tries to hide his hands. (For fear of the first aid kit having to be taken out with that awful stinging liquid.) But once Don catches his twin wincing and trying to peel the skin flaking off his BLOODY hands, the freckled brother quickly yanks his twin over to Splinter. He didn't get in trouble per say, but it was one heck of a punishment for the boy to have his hands wrapped up for weeks. (No playing video games, no training except for basic katas, no SPARRING..)

Don and Lotus~ I can't say too much about what these two get in trouble for because.. heheh.. spoilers. Soooo here's a hint. ;)

Thanks for the question!!

To God be the glory! :)

~ Melissa

[truths33k3r4]

RIP Mr. Parmesan you would’ve loved the 99-Cheese Pizza from the TMNT Bayverse movies ✊😔🧀🧀🧀

REST IN PEACE, MR PARMESAN. Our deepest condolences to your wife and fifteen kids. (And one on the way.) <3

Adieu.

Adieu.

~ Melissa