#sister!winchesterXdean
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
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Matilda (Be The Young 3)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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Matilda
Matilda, you talk of the pain like it’s all alright but I know that you feel like a piece of you is dead inside
They had just worked a ghost gig in Colorado and she and Dean were getting ready to leave. The previous weeks had been weird: Sam and Dean had a fight, and the younger decided to leave. While Emily was not too keen on Sam, his presence made things between her and Dean a tiny bit better. Finally having someone who would stop their fights before one of them said something too mean or arrived on the verge of punching the other helped. He also was able to calm down Dean and to talk things out with him, which John could never do. While Sam was away, all the fights he had stopped resurfaced.
“If you wanted to die that much, you could have cut vertically.” was the sentence that finally made Emily snap and punch her brother. She probably hurt herself more than she hurt him, which triggered another fight about how she should be able to punch people without hurting herself.
Sam luckily came back the following day. 
“Can I ask you something?” He had asked once he had the chance to be alone with Emily. 
“Sure.” She didn’t raise her eyes from her laptop.
“What is going on with you and Dean?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean… What’s with the fights? Did something happen when dad was still here?”
“He’s an unaffectionate son of a bitch, that’s what happened.” 
They arrived in Hibbing and settled into a local motel. Emily had a friend there and so she made plans to meet him in a bar. 
“Don't wait for me tonight, okay? I'm going out.” She said, putting on a dress that was way too revealing to be going out with a friend. 
Dean looked at her from a corner of the room, an eyebrow slightly raised. “So this… friend, Mark, right? Is anybody else coming?” 
“Dean.” She said, smirking, pointing at her almost completely bare chest. “Does it look like I am going out with a friend…for friendly purposes?” He looked surprised for a second, then he answered. “Oh- I see.” 
“Yeah… you see, when two adults like each other-” 
“Alright, I got it, no need for the details.” He smirked, hiding behind his laptop.
She was supposed to meet her friend in a bar in the center of the town, but when she arrived in the parking lot, she felt something grabbing her ankle, making her fall and pass out without even having the chance to scream. 
When Emily opened her eyes, she felt worse than she had ever felt in a long time. She hit her head hard and she was also 90% sure she had a broken ankle. It took her a while to really put into focus the voices around her. 
One of them said something very familiar: “Don’t - call me - Sammy!” Sam sounded like he was struggling as something clanged, falling on the floor. Emily could not see any of that because his cage was positioned behind hers, a thin wall to divide them.
“I’ll be damned-” She muttered, resting her head in the bars behind her. “Sam, what are you doing here?” She said, in between annoyed and relieved. 
“I was hunting! What are you doing here?” 
“I was just walking in the parking lot.” She said, frustrated. “What about Dean?” 
“I don’t know…” A deep silence fell into the dark room. “Are you okay?”
“I think I have a broken ankle.”  She said, surprised by the sudden display of worry. “But I will be fine.”
With a clanky sound, one of the cages opened and a guy, which Sam called Jenkins, crawled out, trying to leave the building. Sam tried to warn him that it might be a trap, but he would not listen. The last thing he said before running out the door was a promise of sending help. However, it was not more than 10 seconds until they heard two gunshots, followed by silence.
“So…“ said Emily a couple of seconds later, scared. “Please, Sam, tell me you have a plan.” 
“Well…” he trailed off. She took it as a sign of him not having a plan. 
“Oh, we are so screwed. You know, all I wanted was one night to just have some sex and forget about how my life sucks for a moment, but no, I guess it was not in the cards, was it.” She said, bitter. “What is it that took us here, anyway?” 
“It’s people, Emily.” 
”...what?” She said, sure to have misheard him.
“Crazy, murderous, sure… but still regular human beings.” 
She did not answer. Never before, since she started hunting, she thought humans could play the antagonist part. If something had to ruin her hook up date, at least it could have been real monsters.
They waited in silence, until the door opened loudly and another prisoner was brought in. A woman. She got thrown in the cage Jenkins used to be in. She came back to her senses around half an hour later. 
“Are you alright?” Asked Sam’s voice behind Emily. The new prisoner groaned in pain.
“Are you Sam Winchester? Aren’t you?” She asked. He confirmed his identity and the woman told them Dean was looking for them. 
“And where is he now?” 
“I…” She hesitated. “I cuffed him to my car…“ There was a hint of regret in her voice as she realized that that small action could have set her up for not being rescued.
Emily let out a groan of anger and frustration, yanking at her chains in an attempt to set free. Just a second later, someone opened the door in front of her. It was Dean. 
When he saw her, Dean frowned for one second before turning back into his usual emotionless face. If Emily didn't know any better, she would have said he was worried.
“Emily, what the hell are you doing here?” He started messing with some buttons on the wall. She did not answer the question. “Where’s Sam?” Asked Dean, inspecting the lock on Emily’s cage. . 
“I’m here.” Answered Sam from his cage. The second Dean heard Sam’s voice, he moved away from Emily’s cage to move to his. “Have you seen them?” 
“Yeah. Dude, they’re just people.” 
“And they jumped you?” He smiled, making fun of him. “Must be getting a little rusty there… Now, Emily I can get it, but you?” 
“What is that supposed to mean?” Said Emily, offended after less than 5 minutes in Dean’s presence. 
“Now don’t get your pants all twisted, we gotta get you out of here.” He moved back to the entrance, where he started pushing random buttons on a dashboard. “This takes a key.” He said.. He looked around, waiting for one of the prisoners to suddenly take out a key. “Okay.” he said, not getting any responses. “I better go find it.” 
“Be careful.” said Sam, while Dean disappeared again behind the door. 
“This better be the fucking last time he underestimates me…“ Whispered Emily while struggling with the chains. 
Everything went pretty much silent until the door opened again, but this time, it was not Dean. It was a big, hairy and dirty looking guy. He had a key in hand.
He used it in the same slot Dean had pointed to earlier and he opened Sam’s cage. Then, he walked over to him, rifle in his hands. Emily shivered hearing the sound of the weapon cocking. “What are you doing?” Asked Sam, alarmed. 
She did not have a plan, Sam did not have a plan, and Dean was nowhere to be found. Emily knew that if they wanted to get out of there, they needed to get more time. And so she did what she did better: she acted like a bitch.
 “Hey, asshole, leave my brother alone!” She screamed, directed at the armed guy. There was a second of silence, complete stillness, before the man started walking towards her. 
She could hear his footsteps closer and closer. 
When he finally reached her, his smell also did. It was pungent and unpleasant, haven’t-showered-or-changed-my-pants-in -weeks unpleasant.
He pointed the rifle at her. “You really need a shower, man.” She said, trying to sound cocky. The man smiled evilly as he aimed at her head. 
She stayed silent and stared at the end of the rifle. What a stupid plan. 
All of a sudden, the man seemed taken by surprise by something, he lost his balance, hitting himself on the head with the back of the rifle. He hesitated for one second: enough for Emily to jump on top of him and hit him in the face, knocking him out and stealing his weapon. 
The noise eventually attracted more people: Emily threw the first guy’s helpless body onto them to slow them down and then backed up to Sam and the other woman, who had escaped out of their cages. Her ankle was screaming in pain and running in the extremely high heels she was wearing made things ten times harder, but she hardly had the time to think about that. 
They had to fight, but eventually they all got out of the house. Emily fell to the ground, her ankle refusing to hold her up any longer. . Dena and Sam looked at her from a distance and kept talking.
“So…“ said the woman who was with them in the cages, a little bit later. “State police and the FBI will be here in an hour. I suggest you guys start walking. Duck if you see a squad car.” 
Emily found a shovel on the ground and used it as a crutch to walk towards Dean. 
“By the way, don't worry about me. I am fine.” She said, sarcastically pointing to her ankle.
“Doesn't look like it.” He answered back, looking at her foot.
“Don't you even think about bringing me to the hospital. I am fine.” 
“Okay, tough one,“ he mocked. “Shall we go?” 
They started walking towards the motel. By the time they got back, her ankle had swollen up to become blue-ish, and she sat onto Sam's bed, too exhausted to get back to her own room. 
“Can I patch you up or am I not up to your standards?” Said Dean, challengingly, while sitting next to her. Her ankle bounced on the mattress, making her hiss in pain. She gestured at him to just go ahead and he passed her a bottle of alcohol. 
“What is this for?” She asked, reading the label. 
“The pain.“ answered Dean back. Sam, in the meantime, was coming back from the hallway with a whole bag of ice. ”...trust me, you will thank me later. Now chug it.” 
She was about to complain to him that there were pain meds that were invented for that, but she figured she was not exactly in a position where she could be a choosing beggar. So she went ahead and chugged it. 
Probably too much. 
By the time Dean had actually started bandaging her ankle, she didn't feel the pain, but she started giggling, drunk. When he was done, he laid the bag of ice on his ankle and stood up. 
“Dean, you are taking care of me!” Said Emily, heavy eyelids and alcohol pumping through her veins. “Come here!” She opened her arms wide, like a kid would do, waiting for Dean to hug her. 
He was taken by surprise by that gesture and laughed under his breath before he awkwardly hugged her. He patted her on her back a couple of times before letting go of her. Sam was looking at the scene, amused, from the other bed. 
“I guess it's better if you sleep a bit, okay? Tomorrow you'll feel more like yourself again.” Joked Dean, seeing Emily almost falling asleep.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
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Prom Dress (Be the Young 8)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-harm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of sex, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ . Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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Prom dress
I tend to handle things usually by myself And I can't ever seem to try and ask for help I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest Makeup is running down, feelings are all around [...] I guess I maybe had a couple expectations Thought I'd get to them, but no I didn't'
“So you guys have never hunted vampires before?” Asked Emily when they stopped at a gas station. Dean and Sam were going to swap places so that Dean could rest a bit while Sam drove. The eldest shook his head, confirming it was their first time. Emily could not help but get slightly anxious. She knew how good her brothers and John were, but she was also very worried that they would be outnumbered or taken by surprise by something.
The Sam and John situation didn’t help either.
Dean left the car to go pay for gas. Sam sat in the front, ready to drive. Emily stared at him through the rearview mirror. He looked angry and upset. Definitely not the mood she would have liked to go into hunting with. 
“Sam?” She called, tentatively. 
“Uh?” He looked in the rearview mirror, looking for her gaze.
“Listen… Can we, uh- press pause on this fight with dad for a second?” She said, he raised his eyebrows, surprised. “We do not know what to expect, we could be outnumbered. I don’t want-” She hesitated, trying to hide how unsafe she felt. A hint of mocking appeared on Sam’s lips. “I just don’t think we should be hunting while arguing like that.” He looked at her, then shrugged.
“Uh- sure? I can try.” he said. Emily wasn't too sure he was being serious, but Dean came back in the car just in that moment and so she was not able to investigate it. 
“So, get this.” Said Sam, starting the engine while looking at Dean. “Emily wants to pause the fight with dad.” 
Right, thought Emily, he was mocking her. She should have expected it. Dean raised his eyebrows as well, surprised. He looked back at her. 
“I do not believe it. Did some sense finally grow into that bitch brain you have?” Chuckled Dean with a quaint, sarcastic smile. 
“Shut up, Winchester.” she giggled back. Sam, however, looked very serious. Emily looked at him driving, unsure of why he would try to make fun of her for that.
It wasn't long until Dean's phone started to ring, their father calling. He spoke with him briefly, before hanging up and then reporting to Sam. “Pull off at the next exit.” 
Sam's knuckles whitened around the steering wheel. “Why?” 
“Because that's where dad thinks we should go.”
“How?” Asked back Sam, angrily. 
“He didn't say.” Sighed Dean. 
After that answer, Emily regretted not wearing her seatbelt for a couple of seconds. Sam dangerously overtook their father's truck and then cut him out, stopping the engine on the side of the street. John stopped right next to them. Sam stormed out of the car. Dean tried to stop him, but to no avail. 
When Emily got out of the Impala, she heard Dean trying to stop her as well, but decided to ignore him and instead, give way to her instincts who said that she should punch her brother. 
Hard. On the nose. Preferably causing damage.
He had not been the same since John was back. For a while, he was caring and he was nice to her, they had a good time together, especially being weird and geeking out of research and lore. But since John was back, he had gone back to being an unlikable son of a bitch, which was a concept Emily could not wrap her head around: okay, he didn’t like how John treated them, but what did she have to do with that? Why did she have to pay for the consequences? Mocking her for trying to keep everyone safe was really too much for her to keep shutting up about it. John was already walking towards Sam, angry. Before John could get there, Emily walked in front of her brother, cutting the way to their father. She pushed her brother from the shoulders, making him walk a couple of steps back for the excessive strength and pointing one finger at his chest, accusatively. “I asked you one. fucking. thing.” She spelled. “Only one. For safety. Since when are you too smart to listen to me?” She said, pushing him repeatedly. She soon felt her father's hand on her own shoulder. She rudely moved it away, determined to argue with Sam, who was however too busy staring at their father in anger to pay any attention to her. “God, you are an asshole.” She whispered, before snapping her fingers in front of his face aggressively and screaming “HEY!” Emily barely got his attention. “I’M TALKING TO YOU!”
“I just want some answers.” He finally said, staring at an indefinite point behind her.. 
“Oh, is that it, uh?” she said, sarcastic. “Sammy wants his answers? Sure, let’s put everyone in danger because he has no auto-control!” At that point, she was almost screaming at the top of her lungs.
Sam scoffed, finally looking at her. “You are one to talk about auto-control! How is it that you deal with your problems? Ah, right, you don’t! You cut yourself or have a nervous breakdown!” 
“What does that have to do with anything?” She said, exasperated, mimicking a big “anything.” in front of her. Emily then shut her fist, ready to strike Sam. Suddenly, Dean intervened. He moved in the middle of the two siblings, moving Sam away while John did the same with his daughter. “Now, that's enough! Both of you, calm the fuck down.” Said Dean, stern. Emily shrugged her dad's hold away and made a couple of steps sideways. “You don't tell me what to do.” She whispered, low but not low enough so that Dean wouldn’t hear her. Dean scowled at her and was about to start arguing back, when he was interrupted by John's voice. “Emily, what is Sam talking about?” He said, trying to mimic a parenthood feeling Emily doubted he had ever felt in her regards. 
“Great,“ she whispered, turning around, trying to gather some kind of patience. “Thanks, Sam.” She scowled at him. Then, she looked at her father. “When did everybody decide to suddenly care about how I deal with pain? It has never crossed your mind before, what happened now?” “It has been brought to my attention, that’s what.” 
“Ah, because I was not enough of a sign? Someone had to tell you?” She said, this time walking towards John, threateningly. “Holy shit dad, LOOK AT ME!” She pulled her sleeves up, aggressively showing her father all the scars she was covered with. “Does this look like I am alright to you? Someone had to FUCKING TELL YOU?” She yelled. “All the times you heard me cry myself to sleep and all the times I locked myself into bathrooms was not enough? Did Sam have to tell you I was not fine?” 
“You are a grown woman, I expect you to-”
“AND I EXPECTED YOU TO BE MY FAMILY!” She screamed, all her emotions finally topping out of her again in crying. “Goddammit, when- WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE THE TIME FOR YOU TO MEET MY EXPECTATIONS?!” She lashed out at him, who did not move an inch. Dean grabbed her arms and stopped her, holding her firmly away from their father. 
“Is that what you think?” Said John, still looking relatively calm opposed to Emily. “You better start paying me and your brothers some respect, young lady, or-” 
“So, now I am a young lady?” She said, bitterly. “I thought I was supposed to be a grown woman!” Not only was she furious, but his lack of any kind of interest towards the conversation, any kind of tone shift, made her even more angry. 
“Until you keep behaving like-”
“Like what?” She said, escaping Dean’s grasp just for one second and regaining her position in front of her father. “A child? Is that what you were about to say? Is having feelings so childish to you?” She had planned to stop, but the more she yelled, the more things came to her mind. “So what, I had a nervous breakdown! Boo-ooh.” she said, mimicking a child crying. “How I deal with my pain is my own business, not your unaffectionate asses’ for sure!” She pointed at the three men around her.
At that point, Dean was just looking at them, making sure the fight didn’t top off in the wrong direction. Sam was also looking, a little back, still looking extremely upset towards his father. 
“Enough now. We have work to do.” Said John, closing his jacket and starting to walk back to his car. 
Emily’s exasperated “Really? You son of-” was covered up from Sam’s voice: “We are not going anywhere.” Emily suddenly remembered who she was upset with in the first place.
“Sam, is there something you want to tell me?” Said John, reluctantly stopping again and turning around towards his sons again.
“That's an understatement.” Answered back Sam. 
“Oh God…“ Whispered Dean, who had clearly hoped for a break, now having to separate Sam and John. 
“Sammy, we should do this later.” He tried to intervene, but to no avail.
“I want answers.” Said Sam, ignoring Dean. “Last time we saw you…” He looked at John. “...you told us it was too dangerous to be together. Now you want our help? Why? There is obviously something big going on!” 
Emily let out a disgruntled sound, drying her face from all the tears. “How many times do I have to tell you that there is no fighting while on a hunt?” Said John, barely reacting to Sam's words. “Get back in the car.” 
“No.” Sam refused. 
“I said,“ Emily saw her father gather all of his patience. ”...get back in the damn car!” 
“And I said no.” 
That childish answer was what made Emily snap again. “I thought I was supposed to be the kid…“ she muttered, making way for herself between Dean and her father. She pointed at Sam again, looking at him sternly and cold and holding her breath to try and not let out any other sobs. “Drop the attitude, Sam, I am not going to let us all get killed because you can't stop trying to prove you are a tough guy.” 
“I am not going anywhere.” He answered. Emily's first instinct was to slap him, but she had to fight that urge back in order to prove a point. 
“It wasn't a request. This is over.” She stared at him, feeling her anger slowly turning into tears again. She tried to stay as serious as possible. She felt Dean and John’s stare on the back of her neck. Sam stared back at her until he could see the light of a small tear breaking through the dam. He smirked. 
“Damn, you really can’t keep a straight face for more than one second can you?” He mocked, cockingly walking away from her. “By the way,” he added, pointing at their father. “This is why I left in the first place.”John heard him and before Emily could do anything, the fight was back on. 
“It was your decision to leave!” 
“You are the one who said to not come back! You closed the door, dad, not me!”
While the two men discussed, Emily was standing next to Dean, nervously picking at her nails. All of a sudden, Dean spoke. “I hope you’re happy.” 
“What?” She turned, thinking she had misheard. 
“I said I hope you’re happy, this is what you wanted, right?” 
“What? Not at all! I was actually saying we should do the opposite!” 
“Yeah, right. But you’ve still been disrespectful to dad all this time, haven’t you?” 
Emily blinked in disbelief, barely holding it together. “You know what?” She said. “I’m done!” She raised her hands and started walking towards the car. “God, I am so done.” She repeated. Dean looked at her as she walked away. 
“What did you say?” He asked, following her while she opened the car door. 
“I SAID I AM DONE! DONE WITH YOU, WITH SAM, WITH DAD!” She screamed. Dean looked between her and her father fighting with Sam. He hesitated for a second and then kept walking towards her. “I AM DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!” She repeated.
“Emily, calm down.” Dean tried to approach her, still gazing between her and the other fight.
“Stop pretending that you care!” She said, pushing him away. “It’s clear- clear as hell that you don’t give a shit about me!” 
“Em-”
“Don’t you Emily me.” she mocked him, pretending to be him when he tried to calm her down. “Just admit it already! IF I KILLED MYSELF TOMORROW YOU WOULD NOT GIVE A SHIT!” He hit her. It wasn’t a punch. It was a slap. The kind parents give you when you cross that line. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!” She tried to answer with another slap but he was faster. He locked her arms crossed in front of her and pushed her on the car, locking her arms behind her. and preventing her from moving. "You need to calm the fuck down." Said Dean. Emily tried to squirm herself free, to no avail, but anger transformed into frustration, which made her break into sobs. 
The fight going on between Dean and Emily seemed to have attracted Sam’s and John’s attention, and when she managed to see shapes in a defined way again, they were both staring at her. John was the first one to break eye contact with Emily, whose eyes were screaming “you did this to me.”, and hopped back onto his truck turning on the engine. It was a clear sign he was waiting for them. Sam followed, a couple of seconds later, accurately avoiding her gaze. He reached for the front seat, but Dean stopped him. 
“Get in the back.” 
“What?! Dean, come on-”
“I said, get in the back!” Roared back Dean, still not letting go of Emily. He finally freed her only when Sam had taken place in the back seat. 
“You alright?” He asked, stretching his shoulder and assessing his jacket. She scoweld at him, meaning to get mad, but immediately felt her stomach contort and was forced to turn around in order to not puke on Dean. 
After she had vomited, however, she went back in the car and reluctantly sat in the front with Dean, arms crossed in front of her and coldly staring in front of her.
She spent the rest of the trip trying to not give away that she was crying by delaying her sniffing and repressing her sobbing.
Eventually, she calmed down, although all the problems she had raised with Sam and her father remained clear in her mind.
A while later, they were getting ready to get inside of the nest. Emily took a machete from the trunk and sat back, waiting for everyone else to be ready and tried to not attract any unnecessary attention that would have led to more fighting. She leaned on the side of the car and looked at the sharp blade, inspecting it, hoping Dean was not going to try and bench her for the thousandth times that month. He tried to intercept her at least 20 times to ask her if she was okay, but Emily pretended to not hear him or changed the subject every single time. Her attention was raised by her father finally revealing the story of the gun they were after, which was presumably made by Samuel Colt and was able to kill anything. 
John thought he could use it to kill the demon he had been looking for for the past 20 years. 
The hunt was messy, the vampires woke up while they were trying to break into the nest, but they were all able to run back to the motel. There, John nonchalantly sent Emily and Dean to steal some dead man's blood from the morgue of a nearby hospital. The first part of the journey was pretty much silent, only animated by Dean humming songs on the radio but eventually, he tried to make some conversation. “Are you-”
“I swear to god,“ she immediately snapped, shutting her book. ”...if you ask me if I am okay one more time I am going to punch you.” 
”...alright, change of subject then.” He looked around, searching for something to talk about. “What do you want to listen to?” He pointed at the box of cassette tapes lying on the ground next to Emily’s feet. She scoffed. 
“Dean, we don’t have to talk. It’s okay.” She tried to reopen her book. 
“But you see, that’s where you are wrong.” Said Dean. Emily closed her book back again, this time putting it on the dashboard, giving up on reading. “We are siblings, we should be able to talk.” 
“Dean, we are not real siblings. We are half of that. It does not mean we need to like each other, it just means we have to deal with each other.” 
“Half siblings are still siblings to me.” He gazed at her quickly. She stayed silent, trying to avoid answering. “So?” He asked a couple of minutes later. 
“Okay, you know what?” She said, assessing herself in her seat. “You want to talk, let’s talk.” She slapped her hands on her thighs. “What do you want to know?” 
“How are you doing? Really, I mean.” 
“How specific do you want me to be?”
“As specific as you want.” 
“Okay,“ she said. “but remember that you asked for it.” She sighed. “How do I put this lightly?” 
“No need to.” Said Dean. She completely ignored him. 
“I am tired. Not ‘go to sleep’ tired, but ‘i can’t take it anymore’ tired. My family is dead, my new family hates me, I tried to go out with a friend and I was kidnapped, Sam seems to hate me all of a sudden, dad doesn’t give a shit about anything that is not his crazy mission and you- well, you are just a pain in the ass!” She scoffed.
Dean didn’t answer. He kept driving and stared in front of him. Eventually Emily started reading again, shaking her head. 
Her brother only spoke again once he had parked. 
“By the way, we are worried. All of us, but especially Sam.” He said. “I don’t know what makes you think we don’t care, but we do.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean it.” She ignored him and stepped out of the vehicle.
When they arrived back at the motel, Dean gave their dad the blood they managed to collect and it was then time to dip dozens of arrows in it. Luckily it was a very repetitive task, so the time went by pretty quickly.
“Emily, have you ever used a crossbow before?” Asked her dad. The question took Emily by surprise. 
“Well, no, obviously.”
“Then I guess it’s better if you stay home tonight.” The moment had arrived. Emily had been waiting for it for a while: John was benching her. It was not surprising.
“Anything you want me to do while I am here?” Emily asked. She didn't even try to argue back: after all, she was not in the mood to hunt anyway. 
“You can be ready to hurry there if we need help.” Said her father. She shrugged and finished helping with the arrows. 
The moment her brothers and father left felt kind of apocalyptic. The tension was palpable as they approached an enemy they didn't know much of. Emily looked at the door shutting in front of her and then stared at it for a while.
She spent the night worried to her bones. She kept pacing back and forth, waiting for a call, the keys of her father's truck in her hand, ready to leave, ready to run to them in case of emergency, checking her phone over and over. The whole night passed and she got no news. She was just pacing, all by herself. No calls, no texts. 
One of them would have texted by now. After all, they were outnumbered and against something they had never fought before. 
Maybe they were-
The door opened just as the thought was fabricating itself into Emily's mind. In silence, John, Dean and Sam entered, seemingly all in one piece, but tired.
She couldn't help herself and hide the relief in seeing them, so she lept towards Dean and hugged him right in the middle of the door frame. “You were worried about us or something?” He asked, dropping the bag he had and awkwardly hugging her back. 
“You didn't call, I thought something bad happened.” She said, quickly letting go of him after realizing what she had done. 
“Well, actually, your brothers disobeyed a direct order.” Her dad immediately brought down the mood. Emily sat on the bed for the first time since her family had left and rested her chin on her knees. 
“We saved your ass.” Answered back Dean. Sam looked at him, taken by surprise by the sudden rebellion. John, instead, just looked a little bit angrier than usual. 
“You are right.” The answer surprised all of them. 
“I am?” Dean could not believe his own ears. Emily raised her head from her knees.
“It scares the hell out of me, but you are all I've got. I guess we are stronger together. I am sure if Emily was there, she would have been good too. We should go after that thing. As a family.” 
The siblings looked at each other for a second before resuming their normal activity. Emily was the first to speak, when Sam took away his shirt, exposing a deep cut on his left shoulder. “I'll help you with that.” She said, searching for the supplies she gathered earlier in her bag. She disinfected his wound and covered it, not much talking happening other than “pass me that.” or “stand still”. Emily was trying her hardest to look angry and serious. but she was relieved that they were all fine. In the meantime, Dean also took away his shirt and Emily saw he was also wounded. He started to try patching up by himself, but she immediately stopped him. “Dean, don't you dare touch that with your clumsy, butcher hands!” She threw a box of tissues at him. He smirked but kept going. “This clumsy butcher saved your ass last time you were injured and could not hold a single needle.” “Shut up, you might have saved my life but I will never be able to wear a bikini again.” She threw him another unidentified box. He finally stopped. Then she looked over to her dad. “Dad, how are you doing? Need some help?” He shook his head, lying down on the bed and looking at her doing what was once supposed to become her job in regular society. 
“I'm sorry about what I said earlier.” Said Sam to Emily while she was about to finish up. “I should have listened to you.” She did not acknowledge what he said. Instead, she stuck the last piece of tape way too aggressively and then announced that he was good to go. She heard Dean sighing in frustration behind her, but she was determined to not speak with Sam, as it looked like everytime she did she would find a new reason to punch him. She moved to Dean's bed. “Look at the mess you have made!” She said, taking a closer look at the wound. “There, pass me that bottle.” She pointed to a bottle resting to the night stand and started cleaning a small cut Dean had on his neck. “What on earth did you touch with those hands, dog shit?” She poured the content of the bottle on his cut, making him hiss in pain. “That's what you get for touching your cuts without washing your hands.” 
“You have no idea how much I hate your bitch face right now.” Said Dean, breathing to the sting of the disinfectant. 
“This bitch is making sure you don't get an ugly scar, so you should stay still.”
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
We don’t talk about Bruno (Be The Young 1)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
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MASTERLIST
We don’t talk about Bruno Sam
Give the truth and the whole truth, Bruno.
23rd of October 2002: 
When Emily was a kid, her mother sometimes called her “her miracle”. She had always thought it was warm, comforting. 
Emily always planned on getting it tattooed once she graduated college. She imagined herself, in her doctor vest, talking with her patients about how cute the story behind her tattoo was. And as she grew up, she realized it was a bit of a silly image. You don’t usually talk about your private tattoos with your patients, she knew that, but she held the tattoo idea in her heart.
Someone knocked on her door. Emily lifted her eyes off her computer. She was drafting an acceptance letter to Stanford. “Hey mom!” She smiled as her mother opened the door. 
“Are you busy honey? I made pizza for dinner.” The woman smiled. 
Emily closed her book and stretched her arms out. “I’m starving actually!” She stood up. 
When she arrived downstairs, Alex was in his crib, kicking and fisting the little toys that were dangling over his head. As Emily sat down, her mother served her some pizza. 
All was well. It had always been.
Until it wasn’t.
Halloween, 2005.
Dean parked in front of the apartment complex. For the standard Emily had gotten used to in the previous two years, it was almost a decent place. At least it didn’t have any weird men waiting on the hooker they had booked. “Alright, wait me here, okay little bitch?” Said Dean. Emily scoffed. She would have never ever dreamt of helping Dean convince their prodigal brother to come hunting with them. She had met enough Winchesters as it was. There was no need for a third one. 
In fact, she had been reluctant on the idea of even traveling to Stanford. 
John and Dean had told her the story of Sam a couple of times through the years. Emily understood why he had chosen to leave: living with the Winchester was a pain in the ass. That was enough of a reason.
However, she felt a hint of jealousy. He had a choice. He was able to get out. Her only alternative to living with Dean and John was to go live in foster families or under a bridge. 
When she first met him, John was incredibly upset about Sam’s departure. He barely spoke about him. Dean, instead, would speak about him. Possibly too much, but never getting into any emotional details. 
“Sam would have know how to do that.”
“Don’t touch that, it’s Sam’s.”
“My god, you sound like Sam, stop it!”
Dean didn’t like chick flicks, he made it very clear from the very beginning. 
So, who was Sam Winchester, based on how John and Dean had described him? 
Sam Winchester was Dean Winchester’s brother. Three years prior, he decided to leave his family and the hunting life behind, to study law. He was two years older than Emily and lived in Stanford. 
Emily looked at the building they were parked in front of and scoffed internally: she was supposed to leave there. She was supposed to be in Stanford medical school. 
And instead, she was stuck in the back of John Winchester’s crap car. 
Dean stared at the building for what felt like hours. Emily, annoyed, eventually stood out of the car to smoke a cigarette and started nervously clicking the hair tie she had on her wrist.
When Dean came back, a tall figure was next to him. Emily could only assume it was Sam: He had short, dark hair and was a few inches taller than Dean. He was not at all like she had imagined him. John didn’t have any recent pictures of him, which wasn’t surprising. The Winchesters sure weren’t the “make memories together” kind of family. 
Sam had a different light in his eyes, compared to Dean. He didn’t look as cocky. He did, however, look pissed. Very much so. 
When Sam opened the car door, he almost jumped back out of it, startled, alarmed by Emily’s presence. 
“Get in the back.” Ordered Dean from behind his brother, cold. Emily looked at him, raising her eyebrows. 
“Really?” 
“Really.” 
“But I was here first!” She complained. “Can’t he sit in the back?!”
“Wrong, he was here first.” He pointed to Sam. “You just fell into my lap and refused to leave.” 
“I didn’t- You know what? Nevermind, I’ll just move in the back.” She climbed out of the car and almost bumped into Sam. “I’m sorry-” She said, sarcastically showing him the fakest smile possible before pulling the lever on the side of the car seat and folding it, hitting Dean’s back and promptly ignoring his complaints. “Stupid piece of crap car- Couldn’t get a normal, modern, five door, could you?” 
Dean scowled at her as she settled in the back seat and ignored the taunt. Sam finally sat down. 
“Dean, want to introduce me to your friend?” He asked, putting a weird emphasis on the last word. 
Dean tried to answer, but Emily was quicker. “I know what you’re thinking, but no, I am not Dean’s last hookup.” She rolled her eyes and started rummaging through her bag. 
“I’m your sister.” She exhaled. “Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.”
“Wait.” Said Sam, taken aback. “Did you just say-” 
“Sister? Yeah, you heard me right. Dad’s a slut.” 
“Emily, come on.” Scolded Dean, starting the car. Then, he explained how she ended up with the Winchesters.
The same year Sam had left for college, Emily’s life had also changed irreparably. One night, while she was sleeping, a fire started in Alex’s room. Alex was her six month old brother. When she went to try and help him, she burned both her hands, which were permanently scarred. She was, however, able to bring her baby brother out of her nursery and into the street, just as the house began collapsing, eaten away by fire. She never saw her mother again. 
Emily spent several weeks alone in the hospital, even after she was well herself, to stay with her brother, but he was soon gone too.
Too young to get a job, she crashed on people’s couches for a while, and just as she was about to run out of options, the police finally gave her access to her house back. Not that there was much left, but she was able to retrieve some clothes from her room and some money that had survived the fire by being in the family safe. Together with the money, Emily found a weird envelope with her name on it.
Emily, if you read this, I am very sorry about how things went down. You might think my death was an accident, but I want you to know it is not. 
Just know that I have loved you and Alex my whole life, but I have made some bad decisions long before you were born and that has led us here. 
I know life might be hard right now, but you have someone you can turn to. 
After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. You will find his number in the back, alongside the name of other people you can call if you can’t get a hold of him immediately. 
He’s your real father. 
You’ve always wondered about him, now it’s time to meet him and for you to know the truth about what I used to do before you were born. He will explain that way better than I can by letter. 
He’s very dear to my heart and we shared a kind of bond I never found in anybody else. 
He will take you and Alex with him. He promised long ago.
About Alex, please take care of him. He deserves better than the life that expects you, but he does not deserve to be bounced around families and structures all his life. Keep him safe.
Love, 
mom.
Just for a brief moment, as she read John WInchester’s name, she thought she had another chance. 
College, a normal life, everything back to how it was. 
Sure, it was going to be hard, but she had never been the giving up type.
However, she soon realized her life was never going to be the same. That her hopes and dreams were long gone.
Her plan of becoming a surgeon, the career she had studied all her life for, became just a distant memory. She had little money, no more couches to crash on, just a name, John Winchester.
She reluctantly called him, asking herself what good could a stranger do. 
John agreed on taking her in. However, he was far from being a dad. He more like a sergeant. John never talked about Emily’s mother or how they met, how it happened that they had a baby. Usually, whenever Emily brought it up, John would silence her. 
That was how she ended up traveling with the Winchesters, who were supposed to be her family but behaved more like she was one of the monsters they were hunting. 
Monsters. 
That was a big thing her mother forgot to mention in the letter. Or ever, really.
What she did before Emily was born was hunt monsters. That was how she died. While she did not know precisely what and how, she was soon acquainted with the fact that whatever killed her mother, also killed Dean's mother, and that that something was a supernatural being.That, John Winchester was sure of. 
She found out about the “family business” pretty much immediately after meeting John and Dean. It was hard to miss, it was all they talked about.
Sergeant John Winchester, as Emily called him between her and herself, had made sure she was safe for the first few weeks, and then announced she had to start training if she wanted to live with them. That was it. Not many alternatives.
Saying that he was having trouble adjusting was an euphemism: she was used to her mother hugging her on a daily basis, asking how school was. But with the Winchesters, she had found herself in a pit of distance and emotional unavailability. She found out that the description her mother had always given Emily when she asked about her real dad was exaggerated to say the least. 
Emily’s mother had talked about a stern man that actually hid a lot of good. 
If the good was still there, Emily was struggling to find it.
Emily saw clearly how neither Dean or John weren’t on board with having a third person around and that her father had let her stay just to honor the pact he made with her mom. The terms of this pact were not ever mentioned. It was one of the many things John Winchester did not speak about.
Despite all that, Emily’s relationship with John was overall peaceful. He let her be as long as she didn’t mess up or put them in danger, and she didn’t complain about how he spoke to her or how he ordered her around during hunts. After all, she thought, he was her father, even if he showed that in very uncommon manners.
Dean and Emily, on the other hand, were unable to keep from going at each other’s throat for more than a day at times. 
He had always treated her distantly, barely speaking to her and not really giving her any chances of bonding. Emily tried. She tried several times. But it never really worked. He would dismiss her with a “none of your business.” or a joke about how it was “grown up stuff”. With time, most of the occasions they spoke, it was to fight. Whether they were real problems or small problems didn’t really matter. Regrettable words would be said and tv remotes would be thrown. 
And John never bothered to calm them down. 
He said they had to “learn to like each other”. So, it didn't matter if it was a hunt gone wrong or if they forgot something from the dinner order, the chances of them yelling at each other was very high.
Naturally, since John had left with no notice the previous week, their days were mostly silent. He had actually left the same night Emily and Dean had a fight which involved Dean calling his sister a “childish, bitter bitch” after she dared to remind him it did not matter how long they took to fight whatever killed their mothers, because they would both still be dead by then. 
She was actually very grateful John had not heard that line. 
Dean’s version of her story, however, was pretty much boiled down to “The thing that killed mom also killed her family”. Just as usual, Dean Winchester showed no regards towards her. Her story wasn’t worth telling to Sam.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
idontwannabeyouanymore (Be The Young 2)
TW: [suicidal thoughts, self h*rm, violence, s*xual assault]
Other tags: [sister fic, canon-level violence, dean is an asshole, angst]
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will occasionally break canon✨ .
Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. Little does she know, her life is about to change forever.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
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idontwannabeyouanymore
don’t be that way fall apart twice a day i just wish you could feel what you sayShe woke up in a gas station, lights so low she could barely see the pump, the car door slamming and Dean coming back inside. 
“Alright little bitch, I got you your favorite,” he said, handing her a paper cup. “Coffee, extra hot, extra bitter, just like life” he mocked. Sam, who was still sitting in the front, ignored them and just reminded Dean that he had to be home by monday. “Yeah, law school and such.” answered the oldest of the two, annoyed. “You got it.” 
Soon began the journey back to California: Sam was supposed to be back home in about 10 hours and Dean wasn’t even trying to hide how pissed he was about it. Emily didn’t really have the chance to get to know Sam, but he gave her a terrible first impression. Everything he did seemed forced: even talking to her, she felt like he was doing it out of pity and social conventions. Because he had to. He didn’t really care who she was nor where their father was. He just couldn’t say no to Dean. 
After dropping Sam off in front of the same apartment complex they picked him up from, Dean didn't seem too keen on starting traveling again. 
“Where we headed?” Emily asked, climbing in the front seat and earning a scowl from her brother from stepping on the leather. 
“I don't know, man, something doesn't feel right. I'll just wait here for a sec, okay?” Emily’s eyes turned to the top of the car. Dean had this annoying habit of calling her “dude” or “man” when he was distracted by something. Just as she was about to answer, a terribly familiar color reached the corner of her eye. She looked out the window and saw it: there was a fire.
It was just like last time. 
Just like when her mom died. 
Dean sprinted out of the car, but she froze in place. She knew she had to go with him, but she could not move... All those months being trained by Bobby were good to nothing in that scenario. That wasn't an actual monster. It was just her monster. Panic coursing its way through her body, she somehow managed to get out of the car and stand in front of the still open door. Her body was trembling so much it was hard to keep standing. She leaned on the vehicle. When she blinked, it was like reliving that night again. She felt her breath go short and her face, legs and hands go numb, a tingling sensation slowly pervading them.She saw Alex’s crib on fire again. She looked down at her hands, most of which were marked by the fire forever, and reflet the burning sensation, the stinging smell of her flesh bruning, alongside the sound of her little brother, desperately crying. His little body, irremediably inhaling more and more smoke as she could do nothing but hold him as the firefighters dragged her out. Then she saw herself in the hospital again, crying next to Alex’s crib, her hands loosely wrapped by bandages she had already tried to get rid of several times that day, as Alex slowly stopped breathing and the doctors could do nothing for him. His lungs are too damaged, they said. He would not be able to ever breathe by himself, they said. We suggest you let him go. All she could do was hold his tiny hand as he slowly died.
Next thing Emily knew was darkness and from the sounds around her she immediately recognized being in a hospital. She fought the heaviness of her eyelids to see Dean sitting next to her, bored and distracted by Sam, who paced restlessly just outside her room. Emily let out a groan and touched her head, in pain.
“Look who’s awake.” said Dean with a stern look. “How are you feeling?” 
“Well, good, I guess?” Emily gave him her default response and then paused for a second to look at Sam’s pace. “I am guessing Sam is not that worried because of me, right?” 
“Nah.“ Dean replied, cold.
“Yeah, I figured. Did you hear from dad?”
“Nope.” 
She sighed and sunk deeper into the pillow.
“So you’re good?” He repeated.
“Yeah Dean, really, I just had a panic att-”
“Cool, because I am about to get real mad at you and I want to make sure you can’t get out of it by passing out or something like that.” He turned and shut the blinds of the room. The monitor next to Emily got quicker in its beeps. Dean usually never had much to say to her, unless it was for tactical purposes or to start a fight. It was weird enough, even if justifiable, that he asked how she was doing, let alone the tone he was using: very weird. He was not about to pick up a fight, he actually sounded worried. Like some sort of weird, unexpert parent after their child scratches a knee. 
He slowly walked next to her bed, put both of his hands on the mattress and let his head dangle for a second before turning around. “You know-” he stopped talking, accusingly pointing to her. He let his words trail off and then started over. “When were you planning to tell me or dad about this?” 
“Dean wh-” 
“Shut up.” He said, cutting her off. “I knew you were not the happiest person on the planet, that much I can figure out about you, but this? This is on another level.” 
“Dean, what are you talking about?” She asked, legitimately confused.
“This tops the time I found you drunk in the back of the car after spending the whole night looking for you!” Emily raised an eyebrow and just waited for an explanation. “Oh, so you wanna play dumb?” He said. “This is what I am talking about.” He aggressively pulled up her sleeve, almost ripping away her IV line and revealing a long series of self-inflicted cuts, what Emily had been doing to deal with stress, pain and the continuous state of anger she was put in by her life, when hunting didn’t really do the trick. She tried to open her mouth to answer, but he immediately interrupted her: “You’re lucky dad doesn’t know about it, he would not be this nice about it.”. Silence fell into the room. “Emily, do you care to explain?” He was almost screaming. 
She shrugged, staring at the clock on the opposite side of the room. Dean kept staring at her, in complete silence, waiting for an answer. “Since when do you care?” Emily asked, bitter.
“Are you really about to give me the nobody loves me act?”
“That’s right.” She said. “John’s not here, Dean, you can stop pretending you care about me.” 
Dean looked at her with a hint of disgust on his lips. “Okay, you know what?” He said, walking back from the back. “You want to play tough? Be my guest. But I’m not letting suicidal people hunt. Get your shit together or I’ll leave you to rot in Sioux Falls.” 
He left the room, slamming the door behind him. 
A week had gone by. Neither Dean or Emily brought up what had happened in the hospital again. Not that they had the chance to: Sam was frantic, barely even capable of putting a logical sentence together: everything was too slow, they never put enough effort in looking for dad and let alone enough effort into avenging Jessica. That seemed to be the only thing he cared about.
He was growing more and more unlikable to Emily, who could barely stand the sound of his voice anymore, just after one week. 
When Dean announced to Emily she was going to stay in the motel for their next hunt, she didn’t complain. It was a long overdue break. She did some research and watched TV.
When they arrived in Winscosin, all she was allowed to do was sit with Lucas, a traumatized 6 years old. 
And that's where she was. Sitting on the ground, drawing a mermaid next to him, who refused to talk to her or anybody else. 
“You know Lucas, I know how you feel.” She said, passing him a red crayon. “My mom died some time ago, and I still feel bad about it. So bad, in fact, that my brother is mad at me.” The kid didn't even look at her. He just kept drawing. No reaction whatsoever. She looked over to Dean, who was flirting with the mother of the poor child. She could see it from the distance: the smug face, the smiling, his entire body gravitating towards the woman as if there was a magnet. A bit away, Sam stood, uncomfortable as always, nervously looking around like he was being followed.
After sitting with Lucas for what felt like hours, Dean finally signaled Emily to come back and so she stopped drawing, said goodbye to Lucas ruffling his hair, and walked back. 
“Are you done flirting with the traumatized mother?” She asked, frustrated. He completely ignored the joke and asked if she got anything from the kid. “No luck.” 
“Yeah, I didn't think so.” He said, bitter, walking away from her. 
“What is that supposed to mean?” She raised her voice, grabbing Sam’s and a couple of other people’s attention. Not Dean’s however. The man kept walking towards the car. She ran after him, overtook him and then pushed him back, already cursing at him. ”...you fucking asshole, I’m talking to you!” 
“I’m not doing this right here.” Said Dean, not a drop of emotions or reactions in him, checking behind his shoulder that they did not get too much attention. “Get in the car.” He walked past her. Sam had also caught up. He quickly gave her a sympathetic look but then went past her and sat in the car. 
Emily aggressively walked towards the car and sat in the back, making sure she slammed the door as hard as possible and that Dean saw her rolling her eyes.
“The kid is not talking to his own mother, how was I supposed to get anything out of him?” She scoffed, not willing to let the fight die. 
“What, you think I didn’t see you? You just sat there drawing like a 4 year old.” 
“I was trying to- You know what? Fine, have it your way.” She said, angry, crossing her feet on the seat without even bothering to take her shoes off. “I am absolutely useless.” 
Dean looked at her for a second in the rearview mirror and then started the engine. “Emily, stop putting your feet on the seat!” She ignored him. Emily stayed quiet for the rest of the journey, knowing full well it was not over yet. When it took too much time for her to get out of the car, he immediately pounded on the door, signaling her to hurry up. 
She reluctantly got out of the car and started walking towards the motel. She was just one step away from the door when she heard Dean mumble something among the lines of “giving me the attitude”. 
“What is wrong with you today?” Emily said, turning back towards Dean. She started walking aggressively towards him and taking off her backpack, ready to throw it at him. “Oh no-" she mocked. “My sister is sad because her world collapsed around her," said Emily in a childish tone. “That’s so not Winchester-like, we only get drunk and punch things!” She finally dropped the mocking tone, and threw the backpack at him. He caught it midfly. “Is that the problem?” She pushed him. She saw him clenching his jaw, but that was not the reaction she was expecting, which made her even more angry.
“Emily.” Dean warned, sternly. “Stop.”
“Give me a reason to.” She asked, aggressively, scowling at him. 
“Because I said so.” 
She looked at him for one more second, waiting for him to say something more. But he didn’t. 
“What a compelling argument you make.” She said, sarcastic. “I think you might want to see a therapist, maybe you can figure out what sort of issues led you to behave like this.” She turned her back, pretending to leave. She stopped and raised a finger. “Ah, right, mommy issues.” Emily finally hissed with a sarcastic smile. Dean stepped towards her, but Sam stopped him. Emily and Dean stared at each other angrily for a couple of seconds before he spoke: “Emily, get out of my face. I’m not in the mood.” He turned back towards his room’s door.
“Yeah, ignore me. That’s what you do best, isn’t it?” 
“Okay, Emily, enough now.” Intervened Sam.
“Yeah right, we got Jess to avenge.” She mocked, before shoving him out of her way and marching towards the street. 
Sam and Dean went back to their room, but she walked to the closest bar. She wasn’t in the mood for over-drinking, but she didn’t want to be around her brothers. 
Truth was, she knew that the Winchester family and her were completely incompatible. She liked the life she had before, she was forced into this new one. Dean, instead, never saw anything different. This was his normal and to him, Emily was just someone who had fallen into his life and made it a little more difficult.
And Sam, well, Emily could not even tell if he was still there. He behaved like nothing mattered anymore. All he wanted was to find whatever killed Jessica and to do it fast. She sat at the table with no intention of getting drunk, but when she returned to the motel it was almost dawn and she could barely walk.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
All that jazz (Be The Young 4)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
MASTERLIST
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All that jazz
Hold on hon, we're gonna bunny-hug I bought some aspirin down at United Drug In case you shake apart and want a brand new start
Later that week, she was in the motel’s bathroom, trying on a suite which was definitely too big to her. “Sam, where on earth did you get this? It’s twice my size.” She moaned, pulling the fabric around to see if there was a way to not make her look too much like a clown. 
“I’m sorry, man.” he said through the door “I got the first ones I could find.” 
“Did you rent this?” She asked, defeated. Limping out of the bathroom.
“No, I stole it, it needs to be realistic.” 
“So we are ditching this right after this case is over, right?” 
Sam nodded. Emily immediately opened her bag and took out a stapler. “What do you have that for?” Asked Dean, surprised as Emily started stripping out of the suite and sat in her underwear on the motel floor.
”...research?” She said, starting to staple the fabric to make it smaller. “I don’t like scattered paper.” 
“Well, there's no doubt you and Sam are siblings.” smiled Dean. 
“Shut up!“ Said Emily, putting the suit back on after stapling it in several places. “Let’s get a move on boys.” 
“You know…“ started Dean twenty minutes later, walking towards the crime scene, while adjusting his suit. “Me, dad and Emily did just fine without these stupid costumes. We look like high school drama nerds.” 
“At least the suit fits you…” Answered Emily, slightly bitter and trying her best to not show her limp. 
“Look, do you guys wanna pull this off?” Asked Sam, approaching the door. 
After speaking with the housekeeper, they were left alone in the house, which still smelled a little bit like blood and corpse.
 “This place smells like Dean does after a hunt…" joked Emily. He gave her a weird look, but smiled. The vibes were less tense than they had ever been in the last year. Emily and Dean managed to get a couple of days of normal interactions, following her drunken scene, but she suspected that Dean was just holding back for the sake of having a little peace.
It took her less than a minute to notice that the blood on the carpet looked weird. And even less to mentally put the shape together. She recognized it, but could not pinpoint what it was.
“Dean, come check this out.” she said, hitting his brother's chest with the back of her hand. He turned. “Can you see the shape?” 
“What shape?” He asked, visibly intrigued and confused. 
“That… and it goes like that…“ She gestured, leaving Dean more puzzled than before. “Whatever…“ She whispered, seeing Dean struggling to follow her. “Sam?” Her brother's head popped out from behind a wall. “Got some tape?” He nodded, disappeared behind the wall and threw her the tape a couple of seconds later.
She tracked the shape with the tape. 
“Man… I cannot figure out what this is… I saw it somewhere already.” She knew that info was somewhere in her brain. 
“Okay, we need to go now. Come on kid.” Said Dean, not paying too much attention to the symbol. She reluctantly walked away, but kept thinking about it. She drew it on her hand with a marker on their way home. 
Later that night, she was staring at the symbol, ignoring everything else going on in the room. 
“I am telling you, Dean, I know this symbol. I've seen it at Bobby's.”
“Then what is it?” 
“I don't know, I remember how the book looked like, not what it said. Give me a minute.” She took her phone and dialed Bobby's number. 
“Hello?” Said Bobby, his voice hard and raspy.
“Hey Bobby, it's Emily,“ She said, ready to take notes on Sam's laptop.
“Hey sweetheart, everything okay?” His voicetone changed immediately, softening a little. 
“All good, listen… I remember a book I read there, it was on the bookshelf on the left… Yes, the one next to the door, it was kind of a small format, lots of pages, umh… the cover was green!” She waited for the man to find the book. “Right, could you open it about halfway? I am looking for a round symbol, it kind of looks like the astrology symbol for cancer, but- you got it? Good. Yeah- yeah, wait, I'll put you on speaker.” 
“Hey Bobby.” said Dean once Emily put the phone on the table. 
“Hey boys. So, it looks like you got yourself a Daeva. It's a shadow demon. Nasty stuff.” 
“Any idea how to kill it?” 
“It is not mentioned in the lore. If you give me a few hours, I can see if it's mentioned anywhere else.” 
Later, they were getting ready. Nothing unusual for them. Sam had gone out to grab dinner and Emily and Dean sat there and were cleaning out guns and rifles, waiting for Bobby to call them back with news. 
“So…“ started out Dean. “How are you doing?” 
“Uh?” Emily glared up at him for a second, confused, and then just kept cleaning. “Good, I guess?” 
“I mean, your ankle, how's it?”
“Ah," She sighed. “Well it's alright, it's not healed yet but I can power through.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Dean, you've seen me walk today, I am fine.” 
“I was thinking-”
“Yeah, I am not coming with you tonight, I know the gist. Self harming and all that jazz.”
“Actually-”
“You know what?” She interrupted him again. “It's fine. I understand it: if I die because you were not careful enough, dad is going to kill you as well.” She said, bitter. “And then we would be stuck in hell together for eternity.”
She closed the weapon she had in her hands and put it aside, getting ready to go for another one. 
“I was actually planning on asking you to join us, but maybe it's better not to.” 
“I guess not, uh...” she said, still not looking at Dean and being focused on her weapon. He didn't answer her for a while. Only the clicking and spraying to be heard for a while. 
“So, you are doing fine? Everything else I mean.” He then asked.
“Why are you asking?” She scoffed.
“Because I want to talk- you know what? Forget about it.” 
 Emily finished working and then absentmindedly started clicking the rubber band she had on her wrist. 
“Stop.” Said Dean. She ignored him and kept going. “Emily, I said stop!”
She stopped, but stood up and left the desk they were sitting at. She looked at Dean. Even if she didn't answer him when he asked how she was doing, Emily still gave him the answer he wanted with that clicking gesture alone, giving him the chance of benching her again. Or at least, that's what she thought, until Dean talked again: “Would hunting help you feel any better?” She nodded. “Then you can come, but you stick with me, okay? I want to keep an eye on you.” 
“Whatever, boss.” said Emily, rolling her eyes.. 
The following night, Dean was flirting with the bartender while Emily, two stools to the left, ignored his presence for the sake of getting the info they needed. She had been twirling her whiskey in the glass for a while now, contemplating whether to drink it like a shot, like a kid trying to seem tough would do, or act like the adult she was supposed to be. On the other side of the bar, she noticed a man looking at her in a rather luxurious way. She reciprocated the gaze and suggestively sipped her whiskey. She then left the stool to go talk to the stranger, but was intercepted by Sam, who had just entered the bar and gently grabbed her by the arm, dragging her towards a table. Seeing her with another man, the guy she was walking towards lost all interest and went back to his drink. “Sam, I swear to god you and your brother are going to make my balls go blue one of these days.” Sam looked at her questioningly. “What?” She asked, sitting next to him. 
“You don’t have balls.” 
“Oh, come on! It’s an expression.” Said Emily, already distracted by the papers her brother was handing her. She took a pen out of her purse and started tapping it on the table, reading the files. She would occasionally underline something, but for the most part, it was just a continuous tapping.
“Dude.” Said Sam not longer than 3 minutes later, stopping her hand from tapping the table. 
“So I do have balls.” Whispered Emily, moving the tapping from the table to her forehead. Sam glared at her and tried to hide a smile.
A while later, Dean joined them. He sat down and gazed, in turn, to both of them. 
Emily still looked a little bitter from Sam preventing her from hooking up, nervously tapping the pen on her forehead. Sam, instead, was wrapped up in his file. 
“What’s going on?” Said Dean, grabbing one of the files. 
“Sam cockblocked me.” Commented the younger of the three, still tapping the pen.
“Welcome to the club…” sighed Dean, turning the pages of the file. 
“We didn’t come here to hook up, you realize that?” Answered Sam, looking up from his file, vaguely upset. “Did you get anything from the bartender? Apart from her phone number?” 
Dean gave him a slightly annoyed look. “I am a professional, dude. Of course I got something out of her.” He said, looking offended for just one second before taking out the napkin again and smirking. Emily smiled, amused.
“Do you think you can think with your upstairs brain for a while, Dean?” Said Sam shaking his head. 
“Well, understandably not if you always prevent us from having fun.” Whispered Emily. 
“I heard that.” 
“Bite me.” She looked up at Sam, who started pretending to bite her arm. She laughed. Sam had become much more likable after he had come back from his “break”. They were forced to be alone for a couple of hunts and found out to be much more similar that they could ever imagine. Being weird was one of those things that made them so similar.
“So, the vic worked here,” explained Dean after giving them a you weirdos look, “...she waited tables. Everyone here was her friend. Everyone said she was normal. She didn’t do anything weird before she died. What about the other victim, did you find anything?” 
“That’s what we were checking out, but as far as I can tell, there is no connection.” 
“The guy was found mutilated in his apartment. Same shit: locked door, alarm didn't sound. I also can’t find a connection. They didn’t even have a mutual friend or something.” Emily looked at Sam, waiting for him to finish the explanation. But he was distracted by something on the other side of the bar. 
“Sounds like the only successful intel we scored was the bartender’s number.” Joked Dean as Sam left the table mid-conversation and walked to a blonde girl. 
Emily and Dean exchanged a look: “So we have to strike out but he can leave us in the middle of a conversation to flirt with a blonde girl?” She stood up to walk over to Sam, put on a fake smile and approached him. Dean followed her.
“Hey Sammy, “ she said, patting him on the shoulder a little too aggressively. “Are you not going to introduce us to your friend?” The woman looked at her for a second, then shook her hand. 
“Hi, my name is Meg. How do you know Sam?” She chuckled. 
“I- Uh, I am his sister, Emily.” she said, keeping the fake smile on. “And this is Dean, our brother.” She pointed at the man at her left. 
“This is Dean?” Answered Meg, surprised, switching her attention away from Emily. 
Dean smiled. “So, you’ve heard of me?” He seemed fluttered.
“Oh, yeah. I did. Nice… the way you treat your brother like luggage.” To this answer, Dean’s expression changed. “Do you behave the same with Emily?” She continued. 
Emily had to stop herself from laughing, the situation starting to make sense: Sam was not trying to hook up with this girl, she was some sort of friend she complained about Dean with. 
“Meg, it’s alright.” 
Emily cleared her throat and grabbed Dean, the vibes getting tenser by the second.
“We should probably go.” Whispered Emily into Dean’s ear, giving an angry look at Meg, followed by a puzzled look at Sam. She then pushed her older brother lightly towards the bar counter. 
“What a nice encounter.” She said, sarcastic, gesturing to the bartender for a drink.
“What, are you jealous?” Smirked Dean. Emily hit him on the back of his head. 
“I mean, this is suspicious, Dean. We are not exactly the kind of people who casually run into the same people over and over.” 
Dean didn’t really answer her. In fact, he did not speak until they were outside with Sam again. They discussed the whereabouts of Meg, who she was and why she knew Dean in such a bad light.
“I think there’s something strange going on here, Dean.” Sam was visibly worried.
“Yeah, Emily thought the same. Why do you guys think that anyway?” 
“I don’t know, there’s something about her that just doesn’t seem right to me.” 
“Maybe you are both thinking too much with your upstairs brain…“ smirked Dean, walking towards the car.
“Emily, do me a favor…" started out the younger. “go and check if there really is a Meg Masters from Andover. Dean, go with her and give her a hand.” 
“What are you gonna do?” Questioned the girl, entering the car. 
“I am gonna watch Meg.” 
Dean and Emily exchanged a complicit look as they left. “Pervert.” Said Dean.
Hours later, they had confirmed Meg existed in the Massachusetts phone book, and Sam called them back. 
“I know who is summoning the Daeva,“ said Sam’s voice, alarmed, as Dean put him on speaker. “It’s Meg.” The younger sister and the older brother exchanged a worried look. 
“She was using some sort of altar to control it. She was talking into a bowl of blood, guys.”
“Do you think she was talking with the thing?” 
“No, it was different. Someone was giving her orders. Someone who is coming to this warehouse.” 
“Wait, wait- oh shit-" Emily’s eyes lit in realization. All that time looking at the files and she didn’t even realize until that moment.
“Quick, where were you born?” She asked Dean.
“Lawrence…“ 
“Kansas!” She concluded, almost yelling in excitement and she circled with a pen the city on both files. “They were both born there. Do you think it might have something to do with the demon?” She looked at Dean, a glisten of hope appearing in both their eyes. They might have been closer than ever. 
All three of them left a message to their dad. It was the same message, we think we found the demon, it’s here in Chicago, call me back. The usual thing for the Winchester family.
Sam had gathered all kinds of supplies. They didn't really know what they were getting themselves into and Bobby had not called back yet. 
“Big Night.” commented Emily in the middle of the silence. 
“Yeah. Are you nervous?” Asked Sam. 
“No.” Said Emily and Dean in unison. It was rare that they agreed on something, so it made her smile, even though it was a lie for Emily. 
“Why, are you?” Dean asked Sam.
“No, no way but…“ he briefly smiled before he continued: “could you imagine if we actually found the damn thing? the demon?” 
“Sam, don't get ahead of yourself.” Tried to say Emily. 
“I'd sleep for a week. Go back to school…“ But Sam kept going. He was already thinking it was over. When he mentioned school Emily rolled her eyes. She already knew a fight was about to break out. While they fought over what Sam had just said, Emily started thinking of what she would have done if the whole thing was to end the following day. It wasn’t like she didn't know what normal life meant. 
Did she like the life she was living before her mother's death? Kind of. 
But she also knew, nothing was ever going to be the same. 
She was not gonna be able to sleep again without keeping weapons in her reach. 
Never able to look at a dark room and think that there was no reason to be afraid. 
Emily looked around. She was cleaning a rifle in the most natural way, in a motel room she was going to call “home.” for 3 days tops. She cut ties with all her friends, leaving behind her boyfriend. Left school and all her dreams of being a doctor. Hunting was her new normal. 
Although it wasn’t like her old life was healthy: she was sleep deprived most of the time, running on way too much caffeine for days at the time, trying to keep up with the pace of finishing high school one year early and preparing for college.
It’s not like there was much left for her, where she came from. 
What would she go back to? 
“I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?” Said Sam to Dean. 
“It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be somethin’ to hunt.” Said Dean.
Sam scoffed. “Look, Dean, I’m sure Emily is with me here. There’s more to life than doing this.” He said, looking for support in his sister. 
Emily looked at him and sighed. She didn’t answer, but put her weapon away and laid back in her bed, looking to avoid the discussion.
A couple of hours later, John still had not contacted them or shown up, so they walked towards the abandoned warehouse Meg was hiding in. They were about to enter, when Dean hesitated. “Sam, wait.” Sam, who had been picking the door, raised his eyes from the lock.
“What?” Dean looked at Sam, then he looked at Emily. He seemed worried. “Oh god please don't tell me you are about to bench me again.” 
“I was just thinking your ankle is still not 100%“ 
“Dean we don't have time for this, what, you waited three years to start worrying about my wellbeing, you cannot wait three more hours?”
Dean tried to answer back, but it was too late: Sam had opened the door and Emily had already entered the building. 
They arrived on the second floor and hid behind some crates, seemingly unnoticed. 
They had their guns out and they were ready to fight, despite not knowing how to kill a Daeva. All they knew was that the altar Meg had was being used to control the creatures as so they hoped that destroying it would help. 
They hoped. 
“Guys.” said Meg’s voice from behind them. The siblings exchanged worried looks, but they all stayed put. “Hiding is a little childish, don’t you think?” The younger sister let out a sign of disappointment while the three of them stood up and came out of their hiding. 
“Sam” started out Meg with a smug smile “I have to say, this puts a real crimp in our relationship.” 
“Yeah, tell me about it.” 
Dean intervened: “Where’s your little Daeva friend?” 
“Around.” she said, chuckling “Those shotguns are not gonna do much, you know?”
“Oh don’t worry, sweetheart. The shotgun is not for the demon.” Answered Dean. 
“Enough chatting, who’s coming here tonight?” Said Emily, cutting to the chase. Meg looked at her suggestively for a couple of seconds, before raising her hand. 
Emily's body flew violently towards the wall and she passed out before she could feel anything.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
Sweet dreams (are made of this) (Be The Young 6)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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Sweet Dreams (are made of this)
Everybody's looking for something
Emily’s stomach dropped. She had not seen John in almost a year, but he somehow looked much older than she remembered. She did not move. Dean, instead, immediately lost any interest in the fight he and Emily were having and walked to hug his father. Emily glared over at Sam, who was also standing still, shocked. “Dad?” Was the only thing she could utter, still trying to process his presence. Every single question she had died in her throat together with the fight she was having with Dean. Sam dropped his duffel on the floor, making the weapons clank on each other. John walked past him and straight to Emily, who he drew into a hug. She frowned, surprised. John wasn’t a big hugger. Especially not with her. Sure, he had never been actively mean, but he surely had not shown any signs of treating her like a real daughter.
Dean spoke as the familiar beer and sweat scent made its way into Emily’s lungs from John’s clothes. “Dad, it was a trap. I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”
John let go of Emily. “It’s all right. I thought it might’ve been.” Emily, free from the hug, crossed her arms in front of her, nervous. 
“So… you were there?” Asked Dean. 
“Yeah, I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive.” John looked around. “She was the bad guy, right?”
Dean and Sam answered in unison. “Yes, sir.” When Sam didn’t hear Emily’s voice, he turned towards her. He gave her a worried look, but John started talking again, capturing his attention. 
“Good. Well, it doesn’t surprise me. It’s tried to stop me before.”
“The demon has?” Now Sam’s attention was undivided. For a second, Emily recognized the same anger he had seen in him the first weeks after Jessica had died. 
“It knows I’m close.” Explained John. “It knows I’m gonna kill it. Not just exorcize it or send it back to hell… actually kill it.” Emily’s attention was raised. She took a step forward, finally getting closer to the group. She exchanged a look with Sam, trying to figure out how their dad was planning on killing a demon. However, the only one who expressed all their doubts was Dean. 
“How?” To that question, John smiled. 
“I’m working on that.” 
“Let us come with you!” Said Sam. Dean sharply turned towards him, giving him a warning look. “We’ll help.”
“No, Sam, not yet.” Replied John. He paused for a second as if he was expecting an answer. “Try to understand: this demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don’t want you caught in the crossfire. I don’t want you hurt.” 
“Dad, you don't have to worry about us.” Insisted Sam. 
“Of course I do.” Sighed John. “I'm your father. Listen- Sammy, last time we were together, we had one hell of a fight.” Emily instinctively looked over at Dean who was staring at their father. “It's good to see you again. It's been a long time.” Sam and John hugged. Dean quickly looked back at Emily, who crossed her arms again, looking away. As soon as Sam and John separated, the Daevas were back. Emily lost track of what was happening immediately, her body being thrown through the bathroom door. Immediately, the shadow demon scratched her, leaving deep marks on her abdomen and arms and making her scream in pain. In the mess, she heard Sam say something and then, a bright light invaded her room. A hand grabbed her in the white and started dragging her out. Unable to see, she let the hand, which she recognized as being Dean's, lead her out of the house. The first person to talk as soon as they were out was Sam. “We don’t have much time, as soon as the flare runs out they’ll be back.” He looked at their father, probably expecting him to enter the car. As they discussed whether they should be joining forces or not, Emily started losing perception of her surroundings. Her heart was beating so fast she was almost able to hear it, and her hands were starting to go numb. She knew what was happening, it was a panic attack. She tried to get Sam's attention, but he was way too busy in his discussion and before she knew it, Emily was sitting in the back of the car. The argument kept going between Sam and Dean, but she lost pieces of it, occasionally losing consciousness in a combination of the panic attack and the wounds she had, which were bleeding all over the seat. The fight subsided and Emily, short of breath, was finally able to get Sam’s attention. He turned, seemingly calm. 
“Are you ok?” His face turned extremely worried as soon as he focused on her face. 
“Do I look like-” Dean hit a speed bump and Emily stopped talking, groaning in pain. “Do I look like I’m okay?!” Emily tried to lift a hand off her wound and saw it covered in blood. Her breath went even shorter, cutting off her air supply completely. She started coughing repeatedly. 
“Dean…“ Sam turned back towards the front of the car, finally realizing what was going on.
“What?” Exhaled Dean, nervously holding onto the steering wheel.
“I think we should stop.” 
“We need to get out of this town, I cannot stop now!” 
“Dean, she’s having a panic attack.” 
“Great,“ he groaned. “And what good is stopping going to do?” 
“It’s-It’s fine.” Emily was able to blurt, scowling at Dean. Soon, however, the disturbed breathing made her feel nauseous. She covered her mouth with her hand. 
Sam quickly picked up on that. 
“Dean, stop the car.”
“We are not far enough, we-” 
“Do you want her to puke in the car? Because that’s what’s about to happen.” Said Sam, raising his voice to overcome Dean’s. The car soon came to a stop. 
Sam rushed out to help Emily, who was able to keep her mouth shut just long enough to kneel on the ground and vomit. Sam helped her hair back. 
“It’s alright, we’re safe now.” He said, patiently waiting for her to recover. Dean kept the engine on, nervously looking around and tapping on the steering wheel.
While sick, Emily grabbed Sam’s wrist, looking for some contact. 
It was long due, Emily thought as she realized she was unable to open her hand, the tension in her nerves too much to let her do so.
“Sam, we need to go!” 
“Enough, Dean, she-” He tried to move away from her to go speak to Dean, but her grip was firm. She looked at him, her breathing and gagging still weirdly covering her sobbing. All Sam could see was a prayer to not leave her. Not then, not there. It felt like the whole world was crashing on her, she would have done anything to not be let go. Sam's arm felt like the only thing keeping her from falling in an enormous pit, from falling straight to hell.
”...Dean, your sister is sick, care to show some compassion?” He said, looking back at the car. 
“I’m trying to save her life, care to collaborate?” Dean signaled them to get back in the car.
”...She just vomited two days worth of food, she is bleeding-” 
“Yeah, and we’ll all be dead if we don’t leave! Look, there’s a motel one day from here, we can-” 
“YOU CAN GIVE ME FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!” Yelled Emily with a terribly distorted voice. Sam immediately stopped talking and took a step back, frightened. “Good god, Dean, when will you ever be worried about the right thing? When?!” She stood up and weakly threw a fistful of dirt and gravel in his direction, finally letting go of Sam’s wrist. He started massaging it immediately. Emily looked at him doing so, realizing he had hurt him, gagged and then turned around to vomit again. 
“Does she look like she can travel one day to you?” Sam whispered behind her. 
“What do you want me to do? We are not safe here!” 
“To stop behaving like a complete asshole!” 
Emily, who was hearing all of it, slowly turning the panic into anger, turned around, cleaning her face with the back of her sleeve. She felt dirt mixing with her tears, vomit and snot and spreading on her entire face, scratching her.
“Shut up!” She pointed to Dean. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” 
Sam looked at her, worried, while she fell back on the ground and kept crying. Unable to calm down, she started nervously slamming her hand on the floor, moving dirt and gravel and cement pieces around. Sam sat next to her and stopped her hand, which somehow made her cry even more. That was when she heard the engine of the car finally stopping. Dean appeared over her. 
“Alright, enough now-” he said, forcing her off the floor. She cleaned the back of her jacket with his hand and dragged her towards the car. “Sit down, let me see.” He forced on the car seat and crouched in front of her. Then, he lifted her shirt to see where she was wounded. He grimaced. “Yeah, you’ll survive.” He pulled the shirt back down. “Are you going to throw up again?” Emily scowled at him. 
“Dean, come on…” Sighed Sam. “Five minutes. Just five.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Five minutes, then I’ll leave, with or without you.” Dean walked around the car and sat on the hood. Sam, instead, helped Emily out of the car. 
“You see what I mean now?” She cried. “An unaffectionate son of a bitch.” Sam sighed. 
“Yeah. I see.” He quickly glared at Dean. “Sorry, come here…” 
The second she landed in Sam’s hug she realized how long it had been since someone had hugged her genuinely. Since she had last felt a hug. 
The hug was the last thing she felt before she woke up in a motel room. All the panic and the breakdown were gone, but were replaced by a horrible sense of hunger and thirst. She also had a terrible headache, and her nose, which she didn’t recall being painful, hurt. All the wounds the daeva inflicted also were painfully stinging for the sweat she was covered in. 
The first person she saw was Dean. He was sitting at the desk, looking at the opposite wall, and was reading an old-looking book. 
“Good morning.” Emily tried to say. All she was able to let out was a groan. But it was enough for Dean to notice her. He looked surprised. 
“Look who’s awake.” he said, standing up. He filled up a plastic cup with water and sat on the bed next to her. He handed her the cup. “Are you feeling better?” She took the cup and drank it.“Terribly thirsty…” Emily gestured to him to bring her more water.
“I bet, kid, you’ve been out two days.” She stopped the cup in front of her lips, raising her eyebrows. “Thought you were gone for good for a second.” Emily moved the cup away from her mouth. 
“I mean, if I am here it means my heart and lungs worked the whole time.”
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean dead, Emily, I meant gone gone, like Girls, Interrupted gone.” 
Emily squeezed her eyes, trying to recall the last minutes before she fell asleep. She kept drinking. “Well, while you are awake, it’s time to change that bandage.” He walked towards a duffel bag in the corner. “Those things got you good.”
“You’re the one who looked at it and said that I was going to survive.” She commented, bitter. 
“Well, I was right, wasn’t I? You’re here.”
“Yeah, no thanks to you.” She rolled her eyes. 
“Who do you think sewed you back? Because it was not Sam for sure. He was busy keeping you still.” 
“What the hell are you talking about?” 
“You put up quite a fight.” Dean grabbed his duffel.
“Dean, I was sleeping.” Emily scoffed. 
“Yeah, sure.” He said, sarcastic. “Not sure what you mean by sleeping but that was not sleeping. Look.” He rolled up his sleeve, showing what looked like claw marks on his forearm. “I had to punch you in the nose to stop you.” 
“Well, that explains the pain.” She said, touching her nose and grimacing in pain. “Sorry I hurt you.” She apologized. “But I would lie if I said you didn’t have it coming.”
“That’s true.” He said, coming back to her with a half empty bottle of whiskey and an old t-shirt. She looked down at her abdomen to see a winchester-style “dressing”, which consisted of dental floss and an old t-shirt.
“Good god, Dean, who did this? Frankenstein?” 
She commented, moving her brother’s hands away from her body. “No, put that stuff away.” She pointed at her backpack. “Go in my bag and take out actual medical supplies.” He did so and, surprised, took out some actual medical thread, disinfectant and bandages. 
“Where the hell did you get this?”
“The vet?” She said, bitter, trying to sit down. She groaned, in pain. “God, I never felt worse in my life.” Emily rubbed her face. 
Dean ignored and walked back to the bed, took away the t-shirt and slowly cut the dental floss away. She hissed in pain. 
“Okay, uh- pass me that bottle and a q-tip.” She cleaned her wounds, trying to hold back the pain and groans with the little strength she had. She then had him pass her the stichting supplies, but once she tried to hold the curved needle, she realized how weak she actually was. Holding the needle made all her nerves tingle and it felt as the heaviest thing she ever picked up. Dean raised an eyebrow.
“Do you want me to do it?” He asked. She nodded and gave him the supplies. 
Sam came back in the room while Emily was swearing at Dean, who was in the process of sewing her back together. 
“You are a fucking butcher, be more delicate, would you?” 
“Emily, you’re awake!” He said, smiling. “How are you feeling?” Asked Sam.
“Dean broke my nose-” She answered “...and then sewed my skin together using dental floss.” She reached for her cup on the nightstand. “So, I am probably about to die.” 
“As you can hear, Sammy, she’s back to being a bitch, which means she will be fine.” As he said that, he intercepted her arm trying to hit him behind the head. “Stand still, or the scar will be even worse.” He smirked as Emily could do nothing else but lay there. 
“So…“ Started out Dean a little later, almost done with his job. ”...pre-med, uh?” 
“Come on, do you really want to do this right now?” 
“I’m just curious, you know.” He handed her a bottle of water, which she drank almost all in one chug. “Never knew you wanted to do that.” 
“Never knew you were interested.“ she answered, staring at the ceiling while her brother started covering the stitches. He gave her a disappointed gaze, making it clear he did not appreciate the bitterness. Emily sighed. “I was trying to get into Stanford.” She blurted out. Sam turned towards her. 
“Really?” He asked. 
“Yep. Worked all my life for it.” 
“How was it?” Asked Dean, still busy medicating her.
“Well…” she started, thinking back to her previous life. “I was in the process of writing my acceptance letter when- Well, when it all went to shit.” She explained. 
They stayed silent for the following ten minutes while Dean finished patching her up. 
“Are you feeling better?” Asked him. She nodded and he helped her sit down properly. 
“Here-” he said, dropping a brown bag next to her leg. “Eat something.” The smell of cheap fast-food got to her and she quickly made her way in the bag and took out a hamburger. It was kind of soggy, but to her hungry stomach it looked like the most delicious thing ever.  
“Okay, I’ll go steal some meds for you, sit tight okay?” Said Dean as he left the room. Emily smiled as he left and absentmindedly looked at the door, still vaguely smiling even after it closed.
Dean left and she was left alone with Sam. 
“Are you okay?” He said, raising Emily from her trance.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She immediately stopped smiling. “Thank you for being on my side the other night.”
“It’s alright.” He smiled. “But to be fair, it was Dean who actually managed to patch you up.” 
“It doesn’t matter, Sam, you-” Emily sighed. “You stood up for me… nobody in this family had done it before.” 
“Yes, but… why?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean… if you and Dean solved whatever problem you have going on, you two could just… get along.” “Me and Dean don’t have a problem.” Said Emily, cleaning her face from the hamburger crumbles with her forearm.
“Then… What happened? I know I already asked you this, but I still did not get an answer from either of you.” 
“I am not sure I am following you.” Emily asked, surprised, taking another bite. 
“I mean, you always fight for the littlest things. And as far as I understood from dad, this has been going on forever.” He looked at her. 
“Ugh…“ She brought her hands to her face. ”...I guess there’s always been some tension, you know? He’s always been a dick.” Emily shook her head.
“So you're telling me… That there is no real reason?” 
“There’s plenty of reasons, Sam.” 
”...like what?” 
“Are you asking for a list?” She said, bitter. 
“No, just…why?” 
“I’ll give you one reason: Dean is an asshole.” 
Sam stayed silent for a while. 
“Do you want to know what the real problem is?” 
“How would you know?” 
“I know Dean, and I have been looking at you.” 
Emily was skeptical. “Go ahead I guess.” 
“You are just too similar.” 
“Shut up.” She said, scoffing. “Me and Dean are two different breeds.” 
“Not entirely, I mean, just think about how you deal with feelings.” 
“Which is…?” 
“You don’t. And that is part of the problem.”
“I deal with my feelings!” 
“Is that how you ended up sleeping for three days after having a nervous breakdown that had you throw punches around while sleeping?” 
She decided to let it go. She moved the covers away from her feet and sat there for a while, looking at the terrible stitching job Dean made on her abdomen and regretting ever letting him touch her with his butcher hands.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
You just didn’t like me that much (Be The Young 5)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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You just didn’t like me that much
you weren’t the right person at the wrong time you just didn’t like me that much you weren’t some evil mastermind you didn’t try to hurt me on purpose but i thought that you wanted to attempt and ruin my life and then i realized you just didn’t like me that much
When she came to her senses, she was tied up to a column. All the pain she didn’t feel when she passed out came back immediately. She groaned, trying to set herself free.
Emily looked around, trying to find a familiar face. It looked like Sam was awake, so she looked over at him, trying to not make any sounds. Her brother must have felt her stare, because she looked at her, almost startled. Dean, a column away from Sam, was still passed out.
“Sam, I have to say… I don’t like your new girlfriend.” She struggled to set herself free once more. He answered with a worried look, and at that moment Dean also woke up, letting out groans of pain. 
Meg walked over a couple of seconds later, not giving Emily the time to check on her older brother. The woman smiled at the sight of the three siblings tied up and helpless. “What a beautiful sight.” 
“It was all a trap, right?” Said Sam, angry. “Running into you at the bar, following you here. It was all a setup.” The woman laughed. “Did the Lawrence thing mean anything?” 
“How clever. No, it was just to draw the three of you here… that’s all.” 
“Well, good job girl, you got us. Now what?” Emily bit back. 
“Now…“ Said Meg, leaning towards Emily until they were a couple of centimeters apart. ”...we wait.” 
When Meg moved away, Emily looked over at Sam, begging him with her eyes to have some sort of plan. Despite not being able to look at Dean, she knew he did not have a plan: he was more on the improv side of things. 
It was, however, clear to Emily, from the second Meg said they would be waiting, who they were waiting for. Good lord, Sam, I hope you have some sort of plan. She thought.
Sam looked over at her again, this time, almost frightened, but Meg started talking again, this time, with Dean. 
“You dad is very good at hiding…“ She said, straddling the man’s legs. “But he has one, big weakness.” 
“Oh, yeah?” Answered back Dean. “What’s that?” 
“Damn, you are not as smart as everyone says you are.” She whispered in his ear. “You. And I happen to know for sure that he’s in town. I’m sure he won’t resist trying to save you.” She stood back up. “And when he will, the Daevas will kill everybody, nice, slow and messy.”
“Enough with the villain monologue, bitch.” declared Emily. “Why are you doing this? Who do you work for?” Her voice seemed to make Meg angry. She walked over to Emily, looked at her intensely and then slapped her. 
“Did your mother not teach you to be respectful when the grownups are talking?” 
“Don’t you dare mentioning my mother, you fuck-” She got slapped again. Frustrated and helpless, she tried to kick Meg, struggling against the post she was tied to. The woman walked back and enjoyed the scene, smiling.
“I am doing this…“ finally answered the blonde woman “because of the same reasons you do what you do. Loyalty. Love. Like the one you felt for little Alex.” She faked a sad face before regaining her cocky smile. 
“Go to hell.” Exclaimed Sam. But Meg had another idea. This time, she straddled Sam. 
“Oh baby, I’m already there.” She leaned in, almost kissing Sam. “You know… I saw you watching me, changing in my apartment… I know it turned you on.” 
“Ugh, that’s disgusting…” groaned Emily, trying to shake away that terrible image from her face. 
“Come on, Sammy, we can still have some fun.” While trying to avoid watching the terrible show Meg was putting on, Emily remembered the knife she had hidden in a little secret pocket in her sleeve. She did her best to be extra quiet, slowly starting to sew away the rope that was holding her tied. She was about halfway done, Meg still having her fun on Sam’s lap, when suddenly, with a metal sound, the room went quiet. Emily stopped, and slowly put away the knife, which she still had in her hand, in the sleeve pocket. Meg stood up and walked over to Dean, on the other side of the room. Emily saw Sam looking at her within her eye corner and looked at him. He nodded towards her hand, signaling her to keep going.
She did so, praying to God, her mother, the boys’ mother or whoever was watching over them to let her finish in time. 
“Were you trying to distract me while your brother cuts free?” Said Meg, angrily looking over Dean. She slid his knife away with her foot, throwing the tool away from him. 
In the meantime, Emily was trying her best to move as little as possible, while still cutting as fast as possible. She let the rope come almost completely loose, and she stopped. She put the knife away, leaving probably a quarter of an inch of rope to cut. She knew if she cut herself free, Meg would have been able to notice that. After checking on Dean, she walked in front of Sam and then reached Emily’s post. She leaned forward, like you would do for small children. “Oh, don’t be worried about me,“ smiled Emily, smug. “I am letting you grownups do the talking.” Meg smiled. “But if you don’t mind, while you talk, I’ll take action.” She set herself free, grabbed the woman by the shoulder and hit her head with her own. Meg fell onto the floor, giving Emily one second of advantage to stand up and leap towards the altar. Meg managed to grab the little Winchester’s ankle, the same one she had broken not too long before, and make her fall on her knees, but before the blonde woman could actually drag her back, Emily latched onto the black tablecloth, crashing everything that was on it on the floor. 
With the altar destroyed, the Daevas showed up, their shadows traveling on the walls and towards Meg. In pain, she let go of Emily’s ankle before being dragged across the floor and crashing through the window. 
The girl walked over to the now destroyed window to see Meg’s body sprawled on the sidewalk. She then emitted a long, exasperated sigh before sitting on a crate. 
“Em, do you mind…“ said Dean, struggling to set himself free. The younger sister stood up and walked over to the eldest of the trio, setting him free. She then laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. 
Dean set Sam free, but he kept gazing over to Emily. 
“Are you okay?” He asked when they were all finally free. 
“Yeah, sure.” From Emily’s view, she saw Dean’s head appear over her. 
“What are you doing on the floor?” 
She didn’t really answer. It was her first proper hunt in a while and it had been a stressing one. Meg was not exactly the kind of gigs they were used to having. She was used to lighter, less dramatic hunts. 
Ghosts, haunted houses, occasionally demonic possessions. Not being trapped and tied to a post as bait for her dad. 
Between that and all the fighting, all the mean words from Dean, her father still being missing… She was starting to feel at capacity. 
“I’m just waiting.” She finally said, pushing away Dean’s hand who was trying to help her up. 
“What?” 
“I said I am waiting!” She repeated, vaguely upset. 
“Okay but… for what?” 
“The tears. I know they’re gonna be here soon.” 
“What are you talking about? We have to go!” Dean tried to make her stand up, Sam tried to stop him, but it was already too late. The dam was broken and Emily started crying. 
At first, she tried to be silent. She kept staring at the ceiling, stubborn, while tears streamed down her face and she occasionally sniffed. 
“I’m not going to carry you to the car.” Said Dean, defeated. “Stand up.” Emily scowled at him, rolling on her stomach. In a wave of rage, she screamed. Than, she held her breath in, trying to control her sobbing. She angrily dried her face and started marching towards the door. “See? It wasn’t that hard.” Commented Dean. 
“Dean, come on.” Whispered Sam, nervously walking down the stairs.
They sneaked towards their car and Dean quickly started driving. Emily dried up her face and took her usual position in the back of the Impala, leaning on the door. She cleared her throat and sat there, arms crossed, cutting everyone out. She saw Dean looking at her in the rearview mirror, but the circumstances did not allow for many interactions as they quickly got out of that part of the city and went back to the motel, seemingly unnoticed. 
Nobody said anything until Dean turned off the engine in the parking lot in front of the room. 
“Good job today, Emily.” Said Dean, looking at her through the mirror. “Definitely saved our ass out there.” She reciprocated her gaze for a second, before grabbing her backpack. 
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” She whispered, sarcastic, her throat still sore and her ego damaged from crying in front of her brothers. Emily went out of the car, walking towards the room and rummaging in her pockets for the key. Her hands were slightly shaking, so she was having trouble.
“Are we really not gonna talk about it?” Said Dean, quickly following her. 
“There is nothing to talk about.” She aggressively shoved the key in the hole and opened the door. Dean stopped her in front of the door, while Sam rolled his eyes and overtook them, entering the room. 
“Look, I get it: it’s hard. But you can’t-” 
“You… get what?! You don’t get it! I had everything I ever wanted. I had a proper house, I had friends, I was getting into pre med, I had prom dates and I had sunset walks, I had lemon beer, until one day, I had nothing left.” She progressively raised her voice, slamming her hand against the door every time she mentioned something she had lost. “Suddenly, everything I owned fit into a backpack, my hands looked like this-“ she gestured her burnt hands in front of his face. “Every single person I loved was dead. And you were supposed to be my newfound family and look how that is working out! We can’t stay in the same room for more than 5 minutes without going at each other’s throat!” She shook her whole body in frustration. “I got drawn into this big, fucking mess of a life, for god knows what reason!” 
“Nobody ever asked you to stay, you know?” He answered back, raising his voice. 
“First of all, you don’t fucking raise your voice to me.” she said, pointing her index finger to his chest. “Second of all, our dad did. It’s not my fault if you are an unaffectionate son of a bitch!”
“What are you trying to say?” 
“I am saying that you don’t get it! You just don’t!” 
“Guys…“ Sam tried to intervene. 
“Shut up, Sam!” said both Emily and Dean together, before scowling at each other. 
“You don’t get to tell me that you understand what I am going through. You don't know how it feels when everything you have gets taken away from you and you can't stop it.”
“Of course I do!” 
“Do you, really? Because last time I checked you were four years old when it all went down and can barely remember it!” 
“Guys!” Said Sam again, more convinced than before. 
Emily closed her eyes, trying to recollect herself. She took a deep breath and turned around, dramatically looking at Sam with her I-hope-this-is-very-important face. “What?”
“I think we have company.” he whispered, finally being heard. He pointed at the other side of the room, where a figure was leaning, in the dark, on the wall. Emily reached for her gun and Dean turned on the light and a very familiar voice none of them had heard in a long time resounded in the room. 
“I see you two are still fighting your livers away…“ 
For a second, everything was still as Emily realized that finally, after months of searching, she was seeing John’s face again. They had found their dad.
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
Terry’s song (Be the young 10)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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Terry’s song
They say you can't take it with you, but I think that they're wrong 'Cause all I know is I woke up this morning, and something big was gone Gone into that dark ether where you're still young and hard and cold Just like when they built you, brother, they broke the mold
The first day, she slept. She had not had the chance to sleep longer than four hours a night in weeks. When she opened her eyes found herself alone, her mind was still foggy and her throat still raspy from all the screaming and crying, it didn't really occur to her why she was able to sleep that long or why she was alone. Her body urged her to rest more.
The second day was when she realized. Emily opened her eyes and it suddenly came to her that she was in the middle of something. That Yellow-eyes was still at large and that her family was fighting him, probably at that very moment. Then, finally, she remembered how she had ended up there. 
She missed. She had one shot at killing Azazel and putting an end to all the suffering that he had brought, and she missed. 
She punched Sam and she missed her shot. 
They trusted her with the gun, and she missed. 
She remembered how she freaked out and how she could not even stand up by herself, how her hands were so shaky it was difficult to get dressed. She remembered how Dean had to help her and how he was gone as soon as she fell asleep.
The third day, she finally got out of her room. Bobby greeted her with half a smile and a lunch based on canned spaghetti that were burned, but somehow still cold.
No wonder you can’t pull a trigger right, you don’t even have the strength to push me.
Sam's voice still resonated in her brain as her terrible supper made her feel slightly stronger. It wasn't the first time Sam turned his face to her like that. Maybe between him and Dean it was really him to not care about her at all. After all, it was Dean who had brought her back to Bobby's, it was Dean who had washed and dressed her. Not Sam.
She ate her meal and then stared at her phone. She had the sensation she had a horrible nightmare she could not remember and that she should check on her brothers. 
It was then the phone started ringing, showing Sam's contact name.
“Hello?” She said.
”Emily, something happened.” Said Sam’s voice. 
Two hours later, she was on the street, rushing through the city to reach her brothers and her father in the hospital. Her heart was racing, Sam was not clear about what happened, he just said there was a car crash and that Dean was hurt. Bobby had told her at least ten times to not go, that they would be fine and there was nothing she could do, but she was irremovable about it. She was going, she was going alone and she was going there and then. 
She entered the hospital running, ignoring all the nurses who told her not to run and wandered in the corridors until she recognized Sam’s jacket. As she approached him, she noticed his face was covered in cuts and his right eye was slightly swollen. She slowed down her pace as he noticed her and started approaching her. 
Emily knew she should have been mad at him, but fighting was the last thing she was thinking about. 
“Emily, I’m sorry, I-” He stopped her from going any further in the hallway, thus preventing her from seeing inside of Dean’s room, by grabbing her by the shoulders. 
“How- Sam, what happened?” 
“Dad was possessed, there- there was a fight, I-” Emily tried to go past him but he resisted. “Emily, wait-” 
“Are they dead?” She interrupted. “Just tell me if they’re dead, because if they are-” 
“They’re not, listen, hey-” He lightened his hold on her after noticing her eyes were filled with tears. “Dad is awake, the doctor just told me, he’s going to be okay.” 
”...but Dean?” 
“I’m sorry, kid, we’ll have to wait and see if he wakes up.” 
“Miss Reed, you should not be here!” Said the nurse, entering Alex’s room. 
“Give me a break, Tina, my brother is dying.” 
“It’s *nurse* Tina and no, I can’t give you a break! You need to go to your room to get your hands medicated.” 
“Can’t you do it here?” 
“Miss Reed, you know I can’t, now come.” The nurse tried to push her wheelchair away. Emily stopped her. 
“Can you at least tell me if he’s going to be okay?” 
“I’m sorry, honey, we’ll have to wait and see.”
”...about it.” Sam’s words were lost as Emily was thinking about how her brother, Alex, had died. They told her the exact same phrase: “We’ll have to wait and see.” Emily repeated the words out loud. 
“What?” Asked Sam. “Did you hear what I said?” 
“Uh?” Emily was like raised from a trance, suddenly realizing Sam was still holding her from the shoulders. 
“I said we should probably go see dad, maybe he knows-” Sam exhaled. “Maybe he knows what to do.” 
Still processing, Emily let Sam lead her to their father’s room. She walked in front of Dean’s room and froze: instinctively, she grabbed Sam’s jacket, just like a kid would, and stopped him. 
There was no one else in the room. Just Dean, laying perfectly still on the hospital bed. Emily could hear the sound of every single machine keeping him alive. She knew it, at that moment, that Dean was going to die. The doctors knew it, she knew it. She looked at Sam, who thightly smiled. Emily slowly let go of his sleeve as she stared at Dean.
He was going to die. 
“We’re gonna figure something out.” Said Sam. Emily quickly dried her face from a tear who slipped out of her eye. “Do you want to stay here a bit? I’ll go and talk with dad and then- maybe some coffee?” As she started crying more noticeably, Emily used both hands to dry her face and nodded. 
And just like that, her short span of normality was over. She stood in the middle of the doorway as Sam left her side and entered John’s room. 
“You-” she looked up, talking to a God she wasn’t sure she believed in. ”...sick son of a bitch. Was Alex not enough? Did you really have to-” 
What was the point? God had never helped her, why would he start then? If he cared about her, he would have saved her mother, he would have saved Alex. 
Emily had been in the hospital with Alex for three days. She was getting better, her hands were healing, but Alex wasn’t. Alex could not breathe on his own anymore and he was getting weaker and weaker by the hour. “Emily, are you here again? You know you’re not supposed to enter this room.” Tina, the nurse, had given up on her following the rules.
“I’m sorry Tina.” Exhaled Emily. “But he’s dying, what difference will it make?” 
“About that…“ 
“No, not yet.” 
“Emily, the only thing keeping him alive are the machines. At this point, we are prolonging the inevitable. I’m so sorry, darling.” 
“But he- he might still wake up, right?” 
“I’m afraid not, Emily.” 
She walked up to Dean’s body. “I really wish you would fight with me right now.” She said. “Fucking asshole. Of course you had to die after being a brother for three whole seconds.” Dean’s body didn’t move. She was almost expecting him to jump up and answer her with another insult, but he didn’t. He would not answer to her then and probably, he would not answer to her ever again. 
“I never even said thank you for bringing me back to Bobby's earlier. I was fully expecting you to just leave me a crying mess on that random road.” With a shiver, Emily realized she had been talking to herself: Dean could not hear her, he could not understand her.
She felt Sam’s presence behind her. 
“He wouldn’t do that.” He said. “None of us would.”
“Is this a weird way of saying ‘sorry’?” She quickly looked back at Sam as he made his way around the room and finally on the other side of Dean’s bed.
“I’m sorry kid, I-” 
“It’s fine, I- It doesn’t really matter right now.” She exhaled. 
“You’re right, it doesn’t. But I still need to apologize.” 
Emily didn’t answer, trying to keep the memories of Alex’s death out of her way. She wanted to believe that it was going to be different, that soon, Dean would have been up and everything was going to be back to normal.
“I can’t believe this is happening again.” She cried, a few minutes later. 
“It won’t. We’ll find a way.” Said Sam. Emily looked at him and grinned, sarcastic. 
“Sure, because luck is always in our favor, right?” 
“I mean it. Can I ask you something?” 
“I guess.” She sighed. 
“What did you do, when- when you were in the hospital with Alex?” 
“Tina, I’m sure, he- he closed his hand on my finger!” She cried. “That means hope, right? There’s still hope?” 
“Honey, that’s just… an automatic body reflex. He-” 
“No, no, I’m sure, Tina, Alex will be fine, you- just wait a little more.” 
“His body functions haven’t been autonomous for days, his brain, it’s… it’s dead, Emily. He’s gone.” 
“Tina, no, I’m n-I’m not ready, he can’t be dead!” 
“I’m sorry, darling. You should hold him while you can. I can buy you one more day with the doctors, not more.” 
“I… I sat by him, I held his little hand and-” 
“Well, do it.” 
Emily raised her eyebrows and stood up. “Uh-uh, no- Sam, Dean is not a six months old child.” She said.
“Wouldn’t you want someone to hold your hand if you were dying?” 
With another step back, Emily left the chair and leaned against the wall next to the door. 
“Well, if you think it would help so much, why don’t you do it? I’m gonna go talk with dad.”
She left and entered John’s room, knocking on the open door to announce her presence.
“Hey, Emily, you made it.” He smiled. She nodded. “You must be tired.” 
“I'll be fine…“ she lied. “Dad, Dean… he is…“ 
“I know.” He said, sitting a little bit straighter. “Listen, I spoke with the boys and they told me- They told me things got rough between you and them lately.” He continued. Emily closed the door and sat down next to John’s bed.
“It’s been… kind of difficult, yeah.”
“You know how I feel about it. It makes hunting more difficult. We had to wait for Dean for hours because of you.”
“Wow.” She exhaled. With her index fingers she traced the corner of her eyes and then pinched her nose. “Dad, I’m sorry my weak link brain is making your mission more difficult, but when I left- You realize I wasn’t even able to stand up, right? Dean had to dress me.”
“You’ve been hunting for two years now, you should have developed some strength of mind.”
“Dad, this is not about hunting. It’s about your damn sons who keep going out of their way to make me go crazy.” 
“It’s your brothers you’re talking about, you-” 
“I what?” Emily stood back up. “Dad, I get it: you are all strong and cold in the face of adversity, but- I’m not. And you, Sam, Dean, you- keep disappointing me.”
“What are you talking about?” 
“Is this your idea of being a family? Dean forcing me off the ground while I have a nervous breakdown? Sam breaking my trust? You, basically telling me to man up?”
“I told you thousands of times, you-” 
Emily let a sob through. “That we can’t afford to have any emotions? Dad, it doesn’t work like that.”
“It should, by now.” 
“Alright, you know what? I’m gonna go talk with Dean’s dead body.” She walked out the door. “He listens more than all of you ever did.” 
Without waiting for an answer, she left the room and saw Sam about to leave Dean’s room. His attention was caught by Emily’s sobs. 
“Hey, everything okay?” 
“Yes, it’s-” she exhaled and dried her face. “It’s the dad effect.” 
“Talking about dad, I… need to go grab some stuff for him. Do you want to come with me?” 
Emily looked inside Dean's room, hesitating. “We’re gonna be away for- twenty minutes. Thirty if we stop for lunch.” Emily pinched her nose and tried to force herself to stop crying. What was her alternative? Crying on Dean’s body or fighting with her dad. “Okay.” She muttered. They started walking towards the exit. “What should we grab?” 
“He asked for acacia and oil of Abramelin and a bunch of candles.” 
”...for?” Emily took the piece of paper out of Sam’s hands. 
“Protection, apparently.” 
“Mh.” Doubtful, she looked over at Sam, who seemed equally confused. “I never heard of it.”
“Me neither. Let’s hear what Bobby has to say.” 
In silence, they drove a stolen car to Bobby’s lot. He had recovered the Impala and had it in the salvage lot. 
“Bobby, we’ll just be in and out, can you- here…“ She passed him the piece of paper. ”...can you tell me where all this stuff is? It will be faster. Sam and you can sort this out.” She pointed to the destroyed car. Bobby looked at the recipe and raised his eyebrows. 
“What are you two on about?” He asked, worried. Bobby looked at Emily, confirming her suspicion.
“Sorry?” Asked Sam, taken by surprise. 
“Bobby, that’s not a warding spell, is it?” Asked Emily, who had smelled the shit from far away and just had visual confirmation of it. 
“Nope. This is a summoning spell.” Sam and Emily exchanged a quick glare before letting out a disappointed groan and preparing to go back to the hospital. 
“I swear to god, he-” Emily kicked the Impala. “WHY ARE YOU LOT LIKE THIS? ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THING!”
Later, in the hospital, Sam and Emily stormed into John's room. 
“Damn you, dad, what’s wrong with you?” 
“Did you think we wouldn't find out?” 
“You gotta know we’re more clever than this!” 
“What exactly are you th-” 
Emily and Sam’s voice overlapped with each other as they both cussed against their dad, who didn’t allow them to continue for very long.
“ENOUGH!” He screamed. “What are you talking about?” 
“The spell!” They both answered. After looking at each other, Emily signaled Sam to speak first, but then, when he took a millisecond too long, she cut him short and started yelling.
“It’s not protection, it’s a summoning! Are you seriously considering bringing the demon here for a dick-measuring contest!?” Sam, who had tried to speak, nervously paced behind her. 
“I have a plan.” John said, with his usual calm which made Emily even more furious.
“You’ve got a what? A plan?! Dad, Dean is one inch away from death, I’M NOT HAVING IT ANYMORE WITH YOUR HALF-EXPLAINED PLANS!”
“You don’t need to know, it would put you in danger.” 
Emily, exasperated, looked back at Sam, who had stopped pacing. “YOU KNOW WHAT?” He intervened. “YOU CARE MORE ABOUT KILLING THIS DEMON THAN YOU DO SAVING YOUR OWN SON!” He said. He moved closer to the bed, right next to Emily who had crossed her arms. 
“Do not tell me how I feel! I am doing this for Dean.” Answered John.
“How? How is revenge going to help him? YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF, IT'S THE SAME SELFISH OBSESSION!” Yelled Sam, losing his temper more and more. 
“You know, it's funny, I thought it was your obsession too!” John pointed to the siblings. Emily raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth, disdained and at a complete loss for words. At least, for kind ones. “This demon killed your mothers, killed your girlfriend and your brother. Sam, you begged me to be part of this hunt and you, Emily, should at least be grateful I didn’t leave you sleeping under a bridge. Now if you'd killed that damn thing when you had the chance, none of this would have happened.”
Sam tried to answer, but Emily took over again. “Oh really? I should be grateful? For what? FOR ALL THE INSOMNIA AND THE MENTAL BREAKDOWNS? OR FOR ALL THE NIGHTS I SPENT HURTING MYSELF BECAUSE YOU MADE SURE I KNEW I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH?!” 
“If you didn’t miss your shot and Sam didn’t hesitate, we wouldn’t be here talking! I should have never taken you along in the first place. I knew it was a mistake, I knew I was wrong-”
“YOU KNOW, WHAT, DAD?” She said, angrily. Sam looked at her in the brief pause she made: he knew something horrible was going to come out of her mouth. He knew she would have regretted that, but she never had the chance of saying it. The glass that John had placed on his side table fell on the ground, splashing water everywhere. Sam, Emily and John looked at each other, expecting someone’s hands to be next to the table. But they weren’t. In addition, the sounds of alarms coming from Dean’s rooms attracted their attention and the doctors’ as well. Emily glared at Sam before she ran out of the room. Doctors and nurses flew into Dean’s room as his heart stopped beating, trying to keep him alive.
“I’m sorry, darling. You should hold him while you can. I can buy you one more day with the doctors, not more.” 
She wasn’t going to get an extra day with Dean. He was about to die and she would never have the chance of saying thank you for helping her. She felt anger building up as she knew their dad knew what to do, but wouldn’t do it. He was too busy getting revenge. But revenge was not going to bring Dean back. Nor Alex. Nor her mother. 
She was still holding Sam's jacket. As she started crying, she moved her hold from the jacket to his wrist. She closed her eyes. “I can’t, Sam, I-” She turned around, unable to keep watching the scene of Dean not regaining any kind of vital sign, and was welcomed by Sam’s hug. Emily felt his body also being shaken by sobs, and tightened her hold on his wrist. 
Eventually, Dean’s heartbeat came back. At that exact moment, she could have sworn she had heard Dean’s voice curse. After a moment of silence, Emily stood back from Sam and looked at him. She convinced herself she must have imagined it. When she turned around, Dean was laying, as still as he previously was, on the white hospital bed. 
With the rush of adrenaline and sheer panic Dean’s close call brought her, Emily didn’t lose one more moment and marched back to John’s room.
“HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO WAIT, UH?!”
“You need to calm down.” Said John. Sam entered right after. “I’ve got it under control.”
“Under control?! DAD, FOR GOD’S SAKE, DEAN DIED FOR THIRTY SECONDS! What are you waiting for?!” 
“You just have to-” 
“NO! WHATEVER IT IS, NO!” She pointed at John’s chest. “You don’t want to save him? Fine, I’ll do it myself.” 
“Emily, you don’t know what you’re doing!” He yelled, but Emily was already long gone in the hallway. His voice, however, reached her and so she took it upon herself to walk back into his room just to shout “FUCK YOU!” and then leave again. She didn’t check if Sam was coming with her, because at that point she didn’t really care. 
John had gone too far. She was furious and was going to do something about Dean’s condition, with or without Sam’s help. 
When Sam found her, she was sitting on the floor of Dean’s room, nervously flicking through her dad’s journal. “You’re not gonna find anything there.” Said Sam, walking in front of her and offering a cup of coffee. 
“It’s better than just waiting for him to die like dad is doing.” 
“I think I found something.” Emily, who had just brought the coffee cup to her lips, froze. “It’s not a solution, but it’s a start.” He offered her his hand to stand up. She did and noticed he was bringing a paper bag with him. Using a finger, she lowered the paper to reveal the box to a Ouija board. 
“Really?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. 
“Hear me out, before, when he-” He exhaled. 
“Oh my god, so you heard it too?” Emily looked for Sam’s gaze, hoping for a positive answer. He nodded. 
They set up the board and Emily sat by Sam’s side as he did the talking: they were right, Dean was there. And he was chased by a reaper. 
“Emily, we need to speak with dad.” 
“No, Sam, let’s leave him out of this.” 
“Trust me, I would if I could…“ He stood up and started talking. “But we need an expert.” He stopped right in front of the closed door. “I know you’re mad, I’m too, but-” 
“Okay. I know. No fighting while we’re on the job.” She concluded. With a nod, Sam opened the door to John’s door. But nobody was in the bed. 
”...and of course he’s gone.” Said Emily, sarcastic. “Holy fuckING SHIT, HOW-” Emily closed her fists and groaned, frustrated. “Ugh, I- Okay. You know what, we don’t need dad. Now, we know Dean is hunting a reaper. Give me the journal.” She extended her hand and Sam gave her their dad’s journal. She flicked through it until she found a page entitled to reapers. 
“Sam, this doesn’t give me any good news. Not a single shred.” 
“Give me that.” Sam took the journal and read the pages as well. With a deep sigh, he slumped his shoulders. “You’re right. We’ve got nothing.” 
“Emily, you’ve been holding Alex for hours. He’s gone. You need to let go.” 
“NO! HE’S MY BROTHER, I-” 
“Emily, be strong. Everything will be okay.” 
“Tina, please, just- if you just give me five more minutes, he will wake up, Tina, I-” 
Sam convinced Emily to take a walk. “Let’s go grab some food. There’s- there’s not much we can do here.” Reluctantly, she stood up and started walking with him. Before she left Dean’s room, she turned back towards his body. “You son of a bitch better be still alive when I come back, okay?” She said. Sam smiled. 
“Hey, that’s my mom you’re talking about.” 
“Bite me, Samuel.” She pushed him jokingly and kept walking. He quickly went after her and pretended to bite her arm. For ten seconds, she forgot about everything happening and just playfully walked around with her brother. The second the elevator door closed, reality fell back on her as heavy as a rock. “I heard the cafeteria has very decent frozen lasagna.” Said Sam, also suddenly very serious.
“Whatever they have, it’s fine.” She sighed and pressed the button. She could not help but be annoyed by his voice and his pathetic attempt at getting her trust back. 
“We should have seen it coming time and time ago.” 
“Uh?” She said, confused. 
“That you would break like this. We should have seen it coming.”
“That’s what happens when everything else is always more important and urgent.” They got into the elevator. “It’s a bit late now.” They spent the rest of the ride in silence.
They walked to the cafeteria and got two sandwiches, which they started eating on their way back. “You know,“ said Sam while waiting for the elevator. “I think I finally realized why you and Dean fight so much.” 
“Oh did you?” She joked, stepping in the elevator. “Why is that?” They started going up. 
“It came to me while you were in his room earlier.” He said. “You are just afraid of getting attached.” They stepped out of the elevator and stopped a couple of steps before Dean’s room.
“That doesn’t make any sense. I tried to bond with him, he did-” She cut short, seeing a group of doctors entering Dean’s room. She quickly gazed at Sam as she once more ran to the room. That time, however, she let go of him very soon, as Dean was sitting in his bed.
“Dean?!” She questioned, almost dropping her sandwich. 
“Well if it isn’t a little bitch!” He said, smiling. Cutting through the doctors, she almost jumped on the bed to hug Dean, who was taken by surprise. “Damn, I thought you only did that while drunk!” He said, awkwardly patting her on the back. Then, she took a step back from the bed and bumped into Sam, who had also made his way through the doctors. 
As the medical staff dissipated, the siblings remained in the room alone. 
“So, you two made peace? I have been back half an hour and Emily hasn’t tried to punch any of us yet.” Smiled Dean. 
“Ah-ah.” Said Emily, ironically. “Very funny.”
“Dean, you really don’t remember anything? The reaper? The Ouija board?” Said Sam. 
“You guys used a Ouija board?” Asked Dean, a hint of mocking in his voice. “Why would you-” 
Someone knocked on the door. Emily’s smile quickly vanished as she saw her dad walk through the door. She took a step towards him. 
“Where the hell have you been?!” She asked. 
“I had some things to take care of.”
“Some- Dad, don’t make me ask again, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?!” Angry, she pushed him back. 
”...aaand she’s back.” commented Dean, behind her. “Come on, Emily, now’s not the time!” 
“Shut the fuck up!” She said, raising a finger in his direction. “You went after the demon, didn’t you?!” Emily pushed her father again. 
“I didn’t.” The lack of reaction made her even more angry, but with the second shove came Sam’s hands dragging her back. “Can we not fight?” Asked John. A moment of complete silence fell into the room. “You know, half the time we're fighting, you and Dean, me and Sam… I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. You know, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?” John’s words seemed to worry Sam and Dean. Sam walked in front of his sister, who rolled her eyes and paced right behind him, gathering John’s disappointed looks.
“Dad, are you okay?” Asked Dean. 
“Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired. Hey, son, would you, uh, maybe you and Emily could get me a cup of caffeine? I’m sure a walk would help her.”
Sam grabbed Emily’s shirt to drag her out of the room. After going out the door, he looked back in, worried.
“Did he seem weird to you too?” He asked to Emily. 
“Yeah, he- he reacted even colder than usual.”
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hahahahahangst · 2 years ago
Text
All or nothing (Be The Young 7)
GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault
All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .
Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.
"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."
MASTERLIST
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All or nothing
My heart is still recovering From the heartbreak of another kind I'm still drying my tears Getting over my own fears In my life So I want to make sure this time That I'm strong enough To give it my all .
“Please, please tell me you have a lead.” Said Emily, lightly banging her head on the table. They were at a cafe’, looking for a new gig to follow. Few weeks had passed and nobody had ever spoken about her going berserk after finding their dad. They had been cold on any leads for a while and Emily was anxious to get back to hunting.
Dean was reading the newspaper, Sam was at his laptop and Emily was at hers.
“Well, a woman fell 10 thousand feet and survived.” Said Dean, with an interrogative tone.
“Now, that’s lame.” Sighed his sister. 
“Maybe we could go back to New York, say hello to Sarah again?” Said the eldest, elbowing Sam and referring to a girl they had met a couple of gigs prior. Sam, however, looked distracted. 
“I think I got something worth checking out.” He said, not taking his eyes off the screen. “A man named Daniel Elkins, in Colorado, was mauled in his home. The police cannot figure it out.” 
Dean’s eyes lit at the name. He grabbed their dad’s journal and started flicking through it. About halfway through he stopped and slid it towards Sam and Emily. 
It said D Elkins, 970-555-0158. 
“Do you think it’s the same Elkins?” Asked Emily, pulling the journal closer. 
Later that day, they were traveling towards Colorado. Emily sat in the back of the Impala reading something on her laptop, while Sam was snoring lightly in the front-seat. Dean was driving and everything went pretty much silent, only the music and the sound of the engine echoing in the almost empty street. Emily looked outside the car and enjoyed the rare moment of total calm. There was no fighting, no picking at each other, no pain. There had not been for a while. Dean had been weirdly kind to her: she was unsure if out of pity or if he actually decided to be a decent human being to her. However, she enjoyed every second of finally being treated like a little sister. Dean had gone so far as to show her how to tap in the police radio and Sam would let her choose where they would eat, even if she always chose the worst fast food place in the town. Soon, it was night. Emily kept Dean company for the rest of the journey, occasionally commenting on what they would see on the road. 
When they arrived in Colorado, the three of them settled down in a motel. Sam fell asleep again right after touching the hard mattress, but Emily hung around, reading a book she got from a gas station. Dean was also awake, on the other side of the room. She felt itchy behind her neck, her body signaling her that someone was staring at her. 
“Stop staring at me.” She said, low enough to not wake up Sam. Dean cleared his voice and the tingling stopped, just to resume a couple of seconds later. “Dude.” Emily closed the book. 
Dean hesitated for a second, then stood up, threw her jacket to her, wore his and opened the door. “We need to talk.” He said. Emily looked at Dean, confused, as he hurriedly gestured towards the door. She followed him out. 
Dean leaned on his car. She did the same, but kept her distances. 
“So…“ she said, after a minute of sitting in silence. ”...what did you want to talk about?” 
“It's Sam. He started to have these… episodes.” Emily looked more confused than before, 
”...episodes? What do you mean?” she asked. 
“He's been… uh- dreaming. About things. People dying, usually in a violent way.” Emily let Dean speak. “These dreams, they… they seem to be predicting the future. We do not know why he's having them or what they mean, but they haven't been wrong yet.” The girl sat in silence and nodded. “I just thought you should know.” Concluded Dean. The both of them stayed on the hood of the car, in complete silence. 
“Why did I not know?” 
“Sam didn’t want to make you worry, but I figured it was better if you did.” 
“Thank you.” 
“Alright.” 
The following morning, she woke up to Dean snoring. Sun was shining through the motel rooms, drawing beams of light all over the place. Sam was not in his bed, but she heard the sound of a keyboard ticking, which meant he was already up and researching something. She indulged in the comfort of the bed for a few minutes before getting out of bed and at work.
Later in the day they drove to Elkins' cabin. Sam lockpicked the door while Dean and Emily looked around, making sure to not be watched. They all turned on their flashlights while entering. The cabin was messy, destroyed, as if someone was looking for something desperately. Windows and doors were protected with salt, which suggested to them that Elkins was trying to protect himself.
“Do you think this guy was a hunter?” Asked Emily, touching the salt and visibly confused.
“Well that is not an oops I spilled the popcorn amount of salt.” Said Dean, while taking a journal from the table. “Look what I got here.” 
The journal looked very similar to the one John used: it was old and made of leather, pages often with something glued or slightly ruined with time. It also dated way farther than John's. 
They took the journal and moved to another room, where more destruction was scattered. The roof had a hole in it. On the floor, there were several scratches, one of which immediately caught her eye. She tried to look at them closer, but even with the light she wasn't able to read them properly. She could swear, however, that they were letters. Dean joined her and he used a piece of paper to get the outline: it was a sequence of letters and numbers, just like their father did, indicating the coordinates to a post office.
“How do you think this guy knew dad?” Asked Emily while they were driving back towards the city. 
“Well the coordinates, the journal: maybe they both have a military past, maybe they ran the marines together.” Dean answered her, focused on the street. 
“If it were like that I would have expected to see dad around.” 
“Maybe he doesn't know or maybe they weren't that much of friends.” 
Emily answered with a sigh and looked at the snowy mountains in the distance. “Do you think we will see him again?” She said a while later. Sam, who for the entire conversation had been looking in front of him, absentminded, now looked at her. 
“Of course we will, Emily. I just hope he's got a good plan.” 
“Of course he has.” Argued Dean. 
When they got into the post office, Dean stayed in the car while Sam and Emily went and opened the box. They found a single item: an envelope, marked JW, as in John Winchester. “Or Johnatan Weiner. No way to tell for sure.” Joked Emily. “Do you think this is for dad?”
“That would be too much of a coincidence if it weren't.” 
They spoke while walking out of the post office, walking towards the car. Emily was just about to ask her brother if he thought they should open it, when they saw Dean speaking with a taller, larger man that they immediately recognized as their father. 
“Dad, what are you doing here, are you alright?” She sped up her pace to meet him.
“It’s okay, I read the news about Daniel and then I saw you at his place. Good job covering your tracks by the way.” Dean smiled proudly and was about to say something, but Emily interrupted him. 
“Dad, why did you come all over here for this guy?” She questioned, willing to know more, as she sat back in the backseat.
“He was a good man, he taught me a lot. We had a.. uh- a falling out years ago.” He explained, coldly. Then, he pointed at the letter Emily was still holding on her lap. “Give me that.” He opened the envelope and started reading, whispering comments here and there, until he stopped, looking surprised. “He had it all along.” 
The three siblings looked at each other. “What?” Said Sam and Emily. Their dad seemed to become more agitated. 
“When you were at his apartment, did you- uh- did you see a gun? A Colt revolver, very old.” They looked at each other. “Did you see it?” He repeated. 
“There was an old case that would have fit that kind of gun.” said Dean after pondering for a second “but it was empty.” 
John looked at Dean, Sam and Emily, one by one, as if he was expecting someone to come up and say that the gun had been there all along. However, nobody did. Mostly, Sam and Emily seemed confused, the more confused every word their dad said. 
“They have it.” He murmured before getting out of the car. “We gotta pick up the trail.” John continued, getting out of the car. Dean was the first one to follow him, but Emily and Sam quickly caught up, ready to question their father. 
“Why is this gun important?” Asked Emily. In the same exact moment, Sam also asked a question: “Do you really want us to come with you?” 
“Who are they?” She also asked.
Emily heard Dean sigh in frustration, probably missing the times where he only had to deal with one questioning sibling at the time. She looked at him sideways, taking in a glimpse of his mood. John, however, was very quick to cut it short. “It's important because I say so.” He said. 
“We don't even know what we are going after!” Continued Emily, trying to get at least clarity on what to expect. 
“You don't, I do. Vampires. Let's meet back at the motel.” John said, stern and cold. He then got onto his truck and started driving. Dean did the same. 
“You two really are siblings, uh?” Asked Dean, slightly bitter. “Can't take an order even if it costs your life.” 
“This is not about orders, Dean.” Answered back Emily. “It’s about safety. He wasn’t even going to tell us what we were after.” 
“That is the definition of order, Emily, they are not meant to be understood, they are meant to be followed. No discussions, no sarcasm. We already went over this I do not know how many times.” 
“Yeah, and we will keep doing it, as long as you are wrong and I am right.” Emily smiled sarcastically. She was not in the mood to fight about that and she was trying extremely hard to not get too upset about anything. She could still feel on her skin how much out of control she felt the last time. Sam, instead, was not happy to settle it with a joke. 
“Dean, Emily is not wrong, dad is just ordering us around as if we were children: do you really not think we deserve to know a little more?” Dean dismissed Sam with an annoyed gesture and by making the music louder. 
Back at the motel, nobody picked up the topic. In fact, nobody spoke. 
The following morning, Emily was the second one to wake up. Her dad was already (or still) awake, listening to the police radio. Since she was still half asleep, she could not elaborate what the radio said, but John woke her and her brothers up by calling them all urgently. He urged them to leave immediately and before Emily had the time to realize what was happening, they were already at a crime scene. John ordered them to stay in the car. Emily was about to get upset at him and try to fight, but she tried to rationalize it: there was no point in showing up in four people, risking to be caught as fake agents. 
“I don't understand why we have to stay in the car.” Argued Sam while looking at his dad talking with the policemen. 
Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh please, not again.” Emily was about to back up Sam’s words, but John was suddenly back with the info needed. “They are heading west, we should move.” 
“How do you know?” Asked Sam, angry. Dean sighed and tried to stop him. 
While Emily felt a little less weird knowing that someone else in the family was uncomfortable with the way John talked to them, she was also not on board with how Sam behaved. Before their father was back the previous day he had been the most empathetic, understanding human being, but after that he went back to being his old self: obsessed, nervous and kind of annoying.
“I just want to know if we are going in the right direction!” Sam kept discussing. 
“We are.” Said John. He then stayed silent, looking at Sam. “Any other questions?” None of the siblings answered, so he proceeded to get into his car and start driving. Dean followed him. 
While he was driving, he threw Emily the journal they had found at the cabin. “See what you can find on vampires.” He said. She started reading, until she found a paragraph that reminded her of the crime scene they just visited. She read it out loud. 
“Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent to hunt for food...Uh- Victims are taken to the nest, where the pack keeps them alive for weeks or days…“ She kept reading for a second. “That doesn't sound fun. I wonder if that’s what happened to the couple.”
Dean nodded, but Sam was still grumpy from the last discussion with his father. “Yeah, maybe dad thinks that too. Of course, it would be nice if he told us so.” 
“Oh god, so it's really going to be like this from now on?” Argued back Dean. “We've been looking for dad all year and you can't keep peace for two hours?” He looked at Sam, then at Emily. “I did not think I was ever going to say this, but for the first time ever Emily is causing me way less problems than you are.” 
“Dean, I am very happy that dad is back.” Said Sam. “But it's just the way he treats us, like we are children.” Dean scoffed. “Come on, all he does is bark orders, we are not even allowed to ask questions!” The eldest brother waited for Sam to finish. Then he looked back at Emily. 
“Well first of all: Emily is a child.” She tried to interrupt him to argue, but he kept going. “I don't care how old you are, Emily: it's how you act. Second of all: you know that there is no time to chat: we need to act and we need to act fast, without error. Because err-”
“Errors cost lives, yeah Dean, we know all of this.” Said Emily. “But look at everything we went through just to find him! We deserve to be treated a little bit better than this, don’t you think?”
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