#sirius is the only one james would've stopped showing off for!!!

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(i have no new offerings, so have an old offering, ft. one of my favorite bits of james potter from No Matter the Wreckage; for context, The Potters have given sirius a watch for his 17th and sirius is having some feelings about it)

“They bought that for you. It wasn’t something they just had lying around and thought might as well. They went out and bought it!”

“What?” Sirius asked

James nodded, “And you know I wouldn’t wear that.”

“Wanker.”

“Besides, I’ve been promised my great-great-grandfather's watch when I turn seventeen; he was wearing it when he got hit by a train--” across from James, Marlene, who had been vaguely tracking the conversation, choked on her juice, hitting her chest violently, “he was hit so hard, it cracked the diamond in the center of his watch and--”

“What the bleeding hell, Prongs…” Remus said through a laugh.

“What?! It’s history.”

“It’s fucking eight am,” Remus looked over at him, and Sirius snorted, a half smile on his face as James stared incredulously at his friends who weren’t quite so intrigued by the bit of Potter Family History as he was. 

“Okay, no, I think I told the story wrong. Allow me to start over, so years and years ago, on warm Wednesday in the middle of summer, not a cloud in the sky or breeze in sight, my great-great- grandfather was walking to the market and-”

Sirius put his hand over James’s mouth, gently, “Love, I think this is an afternoon story. Once Moony wakes up and can fully appreciate it.”

“Or never,” Marlene said, “Never works too.”

Sirius took his hand off James mouth, slowly, “I’ll hear it.”

“Thanks,” James grinned and nudged him, “But really.”

“I know, I know, I’ll send a second letter…” Sirius trailed off, “I just don’t get why.”

“Because we love you, and you’re seventeen.” James said and tapped the side of Sirius’s head, “How many times do I have to say that to you?”

“One more.” 

James stared at him directly in the eyes, grabbing both sides of Sirius’s face in his hand, smushing cheeks together, “We love you, and you’re seventeen.” 

[luveline]

so! we were talking about hockey!sirius a couple days ago soooooooo

i would love to request hockey!sirius flirting with a reader who is not yet his girlfriend. (bonus points if he does the lighting her cigarettes for her like i would die actually)

thank you for requesting! —hockey player!sirius asks you on a date. 1k

"Hey, you." 

You squeeze your box of cigarettes but manage to keep your flinch to yourself. "Sirius, you're like a ghost," you complain, letting your bag fall back behind you. 

"A fit one, at least?" he asks. "I've caught you, haven't I?" 

You fish your box of cigarettes from your bag guiltily. "Don't tell my coach and I'll give you one." 

"Give me two and I'll let you borrow my clipper."

"A clipper," you drawl, drawing two cigarettes from the box to pass him. "I didn't think you were rich." 

"You know, my parents are loaded." 

You put a cigarette between your lips and shove the box down the depths of your bag, your dirty little secret hidden once again. Sirius knows because he's the only other idiot sportsman at your rink stupid enough to smoke at practice. "Weird brag." 

"Well," —he bobs his head from left to right gently, inhaling sharply as he lights the end of his cigarette, breathing through it, "it would be if I spoke to them." 

"Oh, shit. Sorry." 

"Don't be sorry," he says, his cigarette held carelessly between his lips as he ushers you forward. He's much more careful about you, holding your arm in a gentle hand as he lights the end of your cigarette, and nodding encouragingly when you inhale, his eyes a stony grey where they meet yours. "I brought it up." His hand coasts briefly up to your shoulder before he takes a step back. "I like telling you things." 

You lean against the wall and Sirius leans beside you. The outside of the rink is boring, a huge parking lot full of cars going in and out. Sirius' car, a dark cherry red oldsmobile with more scratches than paint, is parked not too far from where you're standing, a dent the size of a sledgehammer head in the driver's side that wasn't there before. "What happened to the vampmobile?" you ask. 

"James. I bet you never would've guessed," he says sarcastically.  

"I wouldn't have. He's a sweetheart. I'd be much more tempted to think you did it doing doughnuts on the industrial–" 

Sirius cuts you off, flicking the tip of his cigarette with a put upon attitude, "I don't do doughnuts. You think so little of me, sweetpea." 

He says sweetpea like you're the cutest thing on earth. You nudge him mildly and stub your cigarette out on top of the square black bin, half-smoked. "I better go home."

"Working tonight?" 

"No, I finally have a night off. Got a ton of stuff I need to do, but it shouldn't take long." You lift your arms into the air and stretch your sore shoulders, angled away from him to avoid giving him a show of the world's ugliest yawn.  

"Wanna get something to eat?" 

You hurt your jaw trying to stop your yawn midway through, arms falling flat to your thighs. Sirius isn't looking at you, gaze on the vamp mobile, smoke curling like a ribbon between his fingers. He has nicely shaped hands, very boney in the sharp way but still rather inviting, when you think about it. 

"Now?" you ask. 

"Tonight. If you want to, I'll take you out." He takes another drag, eyes flaring in time with the ash. "Don't act like you don't know," he says through the exhale. 

"Know what, Black?" you ask. 

"That I'm mad for you." 

You're suddenly and deeply aware of how you look, a mess after practice, hair straggled from its styling, face without any make up. There's nothing wrong with the way you look, but when you picture someone on Sirius' arm, it's never you. You fiddle with your jacket zipper, voice low, "I didn't know that." 

"I don't believe you." He's not accusatory, simply stating a fact. Sirius stubs his cigarette out next to yours, black hair ruffled in the wind, the scent of him adrift. He smells like smoke, of course, but there's a nicer woodiness beneath it. "I'll take the way you're looking at me as a solid maybe. You can text me." 

"No, I mean. Yeah. I mean–" You stammer as Sirius laughs warmly. "I'll text you. If you really are mad for me." 

"Want me to prove it?" he asks. 

Your lips part of their own accord. You look like a deer-in-the-headlights for sure, completely stopped by the implication. Even the thought of a kiss from his has your pulse capering hard. His hands cold from the rink pressed gently to the warmer stretch of your collar, slipping into the hemline, curling behind your neck as he steps close. You can't summon the kiss itself, too close to bursting, because what would you do? Where would you put your hands? Is there a specific place? 

"Don't look so nervous," he murmurs, his eyebrows pinching ever so slightly together. "I'm not gonna jump you." 

"It's not like that, I just don't know…" 

"About us?" he asks. "That's why I'm trying to ask you on a date. You can make your mind up about us and I'll help you bulk for sectionals."

"I don't need bulking," you say. 

He laughs. "No, you're perfect. Beside your bad habit, that is. We have that in common." Sirius steps forward, pauses. "Can I kiss your cheek?" 

His asking is the last straw. You're melted like a slush curl. 

"Yeah," you say weakly. 

Sirius kisses your cheek gently, and then he tucks his face against the side of your head and gives you a hug. "Text me, yeah? If you want." He peels back to grin at you. "I have to go back in. Elite league won't win itself. Talk to you later, doll."

You watch him retreat back into the centre, not sure what you want to do first; text him, or smoke another cigarette. In the end, you decide against the cigarette. If he's really going to prove how mad he is for you, you don't want to taste like smoke. 

[severus-snaps]

so I was giving this a lot of thought at one stage, and another question i had was that SWM happened after their exams, on a summer afternoon. By the time Snape goes to see Lily, she's in her nightgown(?), and it was nighttime.

What did he do in between times?? That's a good few hours - I can't remember if it's morning or afternoon when the exam happens, but Harry's written exams are taken in the mornings. Even if SWM happened sometime before 4pm (assumption made since nobody headed straight to dinner or anything), it's certainly after 9pm by the time Snape shows up at the Gryffindor common room (it gets dark in June in the UK about 9, and she's already ready for bed - so I'd guess 10/11pm).

Personally I think Snape went somewhere to cry when he finally got away, perhaps waiting for everyone to leave the halls before he left his hiding place or the Slytherin common room, wherever he was. I definitely would.

I also think the rest of SWM must have escalated slightly. Like, Snape would be angry at Harry for entering the Pensieve, sure - those memories he's hidden are likely not only personal but dangerous if Voldemort sees them via Harry - but the only other times we see Snape lose it the same way is in PoA, where he's practically reliving the night he was almost murdered and thinks the same man, who also got Lily killed, is about to try again. And Snape loses it again only after he's killed Dumbledore. He was torn up about that, later crying alone at Grimmauld Place, but even killing doesn't make him 'lose it' - until Harry tries to use Levicorpus on him. But he starts to lose his composure at Sectumsempra: "He was no longer sneering or jeering; the blazing flames showed a face full of rage."

We know James/the Marauders aren't above using 'illegal hexes' in places where they can get caught, e.g. in the corridors. I also think that if James had (been) stopped, Sirius and Lupin would have said so when Harry confronted them - but instead, and perhaps assuming that Harry had seen the whole thing, they just skirted around it and made excuses; James was always showing off, especially in front of Lily; they 'sometimes got carried away'; they were only fifteen.

So the pants, I think, almost certainly came off - and perhaps a hex or two for good measure, if I'm feeling uncharitable with my characterisation of James/Sirius. After all, a "joke" or a "trick" is, by their standards, anything ranging from a hexing in the hallways to attempted murder/manslaughter by werewolf. (The fact they used an "illegal" hex on Bertram Aubrey is interesting - not sure whether it was illegal within a school rules context, or an actually illegal spell - looking through "illegal" on potter search, the word is typically used in the 'actually illegal' sense, and not just in a school sense - only one instance referred to 'illegal' Bludger tampering in a school Quidditch match, the rest were things like illegal/unforgivable curses, flying the enchanted car, underage magic, the dragon trade, etc).

And Snape also says that James used Snape's own spells against him - not just the one, but plural. Looking at his other spells, Muffliato would've been useless really; toenails might have been jinxed at some stage, true; might have been Langlock but unlikely - not really as dramatic as doubling someone's head or filling their mouth with soap or showing off in general; Liberacorpus, perhaps, but that wasn't so much being used against anyone as being used to free them.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that the spell Snape uses in SWM is Sectumsempra (otherwise why, narratively, include a cutting spell in SWM at all if it isn't Snape's spell?). But I also think that Remus knowing the incantation for Sectumsempra, apparently Snape's own spell that he could use nonverbally by the age of 15/16 and would have kept a careful guard over following Levicorpus getting out, means that the Marauders had also used it. (I actually managed to convince myself at one stage that Snape took this one spell from the Marauders, but even if that's unlikely, I do think they would have used it first; perhaps they stole his book or something and tried it without knowing what it did, like Harry did. Based on the post I just linked, I think that would be why Snape chose such a weak retaliation against James in that moment - it didn't slow him down, not even one bit, but perhaps Snape was trying to send a message rather than inflict real harm).

Anyway, James has already choked Snape with soap, to a laughing crowd, for the crimes of "[letting out] a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes" and "existing". James has now also been rejected and humiliated by Lily, publicly, and compared to someone who says "Mudblood". He's got to save face. Sirius has, so far, stuck primarily to insults about Snape's appearance/general greasiness, so I suspect more of that, but I think James - who was eager to hex Snape even before he got insulted and compared to him - probably went a bit further.

Now I don't think that they'd have used Sectumsempra here (boy, that would be dark). I was going to suggest a stinging hex, but Snape was very calm and collected when Harry accidentally used one on him in (earlier, I think) Occlumency lessons. Maybe some more silly ones, to make a spectacle and take the attention away from James' "misfortune", once Snape's underwear was off? (Looking up jinxes, there's some to make leeks spring from your ears, maybe a bat-bogey or similar).

I can't decide whether they'd have left Snape up there or whether they'd let him down so they could laugh as he ran away. I don't think anyone would have stood up for Snape and run the risk of being next, and like I think I said above, Sirius and Lupin probably would have said to Harry if they'd been stopped.

Anyway in those missing hours I 'prefer' to think that Snape went somewhere to hide, to get some peace, etc. A slightly darker interpretation is that he'd had to go to the hospital wing, and that's why he didn't seek Lily out until nighttime.

My Roman Empire:

What happened during SWM after Sev pulled Harry out of the pensive. Did James actually take off Sev's pant's or was he stopped?

If he was stopped, what made him stop? Was it another person or something else? Was it a teacher or another student?...

If he wasn't stopped, how far did he take it? For how long did he let him hang up there? Did he do anything else even more heinous and humiliating (I don't really want to think about this part)? How did it eventually end?...

There are so many more questions, some also concerning the following days/weeks. Like, did Lily ever apologize for making fun of Sev too (probably not)? Did Sev talk to anyone about it (probably also not) or what did he do to cope? When was the next time the marauders bullied Sev, and how far did they take it this time? Did the marauders ever take it this far or even further again?...

And most importantly: Why can't I just give Sev a big hug and make him feel OK again?

[ottogatto]

If the Marauders actually cared about Remus then Snape's life would be much better because (1) Sirius wouldn't have caused the werewolf prank (2) James would've done everything in his power to make sure Snape doesn't have a reason to tell Remus's secret after the prank and stopped bullying Snape (3-and I need to mention I don't condone Remus standing aside as Snape is being bullied) Remus would actually be comfortable enough with the marauders to tell them to stop bullying Snape.

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.

“Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “ ‘Give five signs that identify the werewolf.’ Excellent question.”

“D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern.

“Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin . . .”

Wormtail was the only one who didn’t laugh.

“I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail,” he said anxiously, “but I couldn’t think what else —”

“How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —”

“Keep your voice down,” implored Lupin.

Sirius' first idea of a joke was to insist on the fact the exams had questions about Lupin. Not only that, but the Marauders have taken the habit of calling Lupin "Moony", because he transforms every full moon. What's wrong with that? Well, here are some snaters accidentally good points:

Unconcerned that Lupin answers "briskly" and sarcastically, James asks in "mock concern" (=fake concern) if Lupin thinks he got all the signs. He should, he's the werewolf. Thanks to those remarks, Lupin goes on a self-loathing rant. James and Sirius laugh, not Lupin who was being pessimistic, nor Wormtail, but that's because he fears not having gotten all the points. James calls Wormtail stupid, and says in a high voice "You run round with a werewolf every month", putting not only Lupin but Wormtail at risk. Lupin has to implore them to keep their voices down.

Harry had the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.

Not Pettigrew, not Lupin, because they are inferiors. This collloborates what was said in PoA:

“Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang."

And

“You’d have thought Black and Potter were brothers!” chimed in Professor Flitwick. “Inseparable!”

It was all about Sirius and James. Pettigrew heroworships them, and you'll notice that nowhere in this conversation, they openly mention Lupin. Next:

“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.”

“You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book. “We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. . . . Here.”

He held out his book. Sirius snorted. “I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”

“This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,” said James quietly. “Look who it is. . . .”

Because Sirius is bored, he will assault Severus. But also because he's bored, he wishes it was full moon. He prioritizes his own fun over the fear and suffering Lupin has to undergo. Sirius does not even seem to realize how fucked up what he said is since it isn't his concern at all, he finds it normal, Lupin's feelings about the situation cannot be taken into account. Of course the Werewolf Prank happened. Lupin answers "darkly". Sirius mocks Lupin for thinking he even needs the Transfiguration book, taking the occasion to tell how "bright" he is, knowing all the lessons already. James doesn't care that Lupin just asked for help in Transfiguration, he wants to have fun--helping Lupin out is so uninteresting and boring. Sirius ignores Lupin to assault Snape. Both know that it puts Lupin in an uncomfortable position: he's a Prefect, he should intervene. But he doesn't. Guess why.

And as you said... the Werewolf Incident and the bullying of Snape wouldn't have continued if they actually cared about what could happen to Lupin.

Their relationship really was unequal. And here are displayed only part of the problems. Remember when Sirius left all his money for Harry, a rich boy, and not a penny for his friend Lupin?

[thegirlwhowrites642]

Can you write parallels between July and hinny?

The one that always knew

The similarities between James and Ginny are many but let's stick to the ones that have relevance in their dynamics with Lily and Harry.

These two are the romantics. In Snape's memories, we see James pretending to have a sword, talking about heroes and courage, and then we have Ginny who is really no different. Grown-up with the story of the boy who lived, completely fascinated by him and this legend.

So it's not surprising at all that they are the ones who knew long before their counterparts about their feelings. And they make it known, even if their approaches are quite different, and very gendered which is realistic.

James is bold, he right out asks Lily out, the way he does it is very questionable and difficult to be taken seriously but still. Ginny is shy and pretty much wants to kill herself for not being able to stop blushing, yet there's a boldness to her too with the poem. Technically it was meant to be anonymous but is still a very bold move.

Obviously, for the fandom James' approach needed to be praised while Ginny was a psychotic maniac because God forbid, a woman making a guy the object of her affections putting him in a passive position. What is this? Feminism???

James and Ginny are two awkward messes in this specific area, but they are very in touch with their feelings and were certain enough about them to not be able to fully get over Lily and Harry even if they had to wait a while. I'm sure they would both tell you that it was worth it.

The maturity

James and Ginny's behaviors when Lily and Harry were around needed to be changed for them to show their true selves to the objects of their affections.

I mean, the problem could have been solved by locking in a room the pairs, or Harry and Ginny going to the Yule Ball together, but that would've been too easy, no?

It's made very clear by Sirius that while for sure James had some things to improve about himself, his attitude when Lily was around wasn't his average one, he was, well, too James? A very exaggerated version of himself?

And with Ginny, well we know the story. Just like James, she had to stop letting her feelings take control of her actions.

When James and Ginny managed this, oh... how the tables turned...

The one that was clueless

Now it's time to talk about our resident green-eyed idiots.

It took a while for Lily and Harry to understand their feelings for James and Ginny but the pull, the attraction, the Je ne sais quoi, was always there.

Again, with Harry, we know the story. From the inability to take his eyes off Ginny at King's Cross to descriptions of setting suns to Ginny being the first person he looked at on the dance floor. The pull was always there but until Ginny didn't show her true self, Harry's subconscious really didn't know what to do with this attraction.

We know a lot less about James and Lily obviously and yet it's made quite clear that Lily was drawned to James. From the traitorous smile that escaped her lips even when she was angry at him to Sirius a bit too sure assurance that she never really hated James.

The external factors

The real obstacle for these two couples revolves around external factors.

For Harry and Ginny, we have traumatic life-altering events that include possessions, alleged murderers, mortal tournaments, dark lords, and other minor love interests to distract them.

With James and Lily, the obstacle has a name and it's Severus Snape. Lily's best friend and James archnemesis. Let's do a couple of calculations, shall we? James and Lily got married really young, we know that they started dating in their seventh year, so the most reasonable assumption is that they started dating at the start of the year. This means that things between them changed during their sixth year. Now if only something major happened at the end of their fifth year... oh, wait. The moment Lily gets rid of her friendship with Snape and his insistent attempts at putting James in a bad light in her eyes, Lily falls for James, what a coincidence.

The symbolism

Both pairings of Potters enter the soulmates' dynamic. Admittedly, Harry and Ginny a lot more because we have seven books about them and an inside point of view. But a major point of this type of dynamic is the fact that the characters need to be like two magnets drawned to each other so if you want to keep them apart you have to make it impossible for them to be together, and how do you do that? External factors, inability for a long time to be around the other, things like that. Just think about Amy and Laurie from Little Women.

Another important point for soulmates' dynamics is symbolism. The thing is, soulmates are not something that objectively exists. So unless you are writing a world-building where there are like soulmates marks or that kind of thing, the author has to rely on things like symbolism to make the reader understand.

With Harry and Ginny, we have Ginny's name, three hundred different metaphors, Ginny's association with light, Harry's death sequence, and so on...

With James and Lily again we have a lot less material but between the matching patroni and the fact that their love gave birth to the guy who saved the world with his ability to love, the message is pretty clear.

[There's a lot more to soulmates dynamics, and every author has some liberty for variations, but I'm keeping the elements of hinny that jily presents too. There's a lot more for hinny.]

[lovely-jily]

cruel summer

hi friends. i'm working on a cute fic based off of taylor swift's "cruel summer". it's a muggle au of best friends to lovers:)

here's a snippet of the first chapter and i'll link it below. if you have any suggestions please send them my way, i'm not really set on anything and would love your input. i love you all and your support means the most to me

read on ao3

wattpad

Lily was hot and bothered, and not in a way that she wanted. While it was only late May, it was already a record-breaking summer in terms of heat. Lucky for her, Lily had the opportunity to spend almost all day in the beating sun as she weeded a garden that wasn't even hers.

Her mother made her get a summer job with the lovely old lady down the street. Every day Lily went over to help keep the woman's house tidy and the garden in top shape. While Mrs Potter was very kind, there were many other things that Lily would rather be doing at that moment instead of pulling at stubborn weeds.

One of those things was Mrs Potter's grandson, James. They were decently inseparable. They grew up together, and Lily watched as he grew from a sweet little boy to someone who was quite handsome.

While James was quite good-looking, Lily never really thought of him as anything other than one of her best friends, despite what all her other friends might have said.

Well, maybe she had a little bit, but he wouldn't ever think about her in that way. They had a relationship where they could tell each other everything, even the all too personal stuff. "Personal stuff", as in all his adventures with girls. He was quite the charmer and knew precisely what to say to get into his next victim's pants.

Lily saw a familiar shadow fall over her dirt-stained hands and smirked slightly. She had been waiting for him to show up and at least sit with her while she worked. He made the time go by faster, and they both knew that.

"Are you going to help, or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at him.

She watched as he plopped himself down on the grass, resting on his side with one of his arms holding his head up. His fingers of the unused hand were gingerly holding a toothpick between the smirk plastered on his lips.

"Sit and look pretty? Isn't that what I do best?"

Lily rolled her eyes, dumping a pile of weeds into the bucket next to her and started over to the next section of weeds. She found that the weeds were stubbornly persistent, and it was hard for her to understand the point of ripping them all out if they were going to grow back in a manner of days.

But Mrs Potter paid her well, and so she just dealt with it.

"If your job is to sit and look pretty, then you've been doing a terrible job. Perhaps you should find a new one. Like weeding?" She held up a pile of weeds, smiling slightly.

James just shook his head, still smirking as he looked down to the grass, "I cut things off with Jane."

Lily stopped smiling slightly. He was always moving on quickly to the next girl. For the number of girls James went out with, you would be surprised with how picky the lad was, leaving many girls broken-hearted and crushed. The odd thing about it, though, is James was so likeable that no one resented him. Even his long list of scorned lovers.

"Why? I thought you liked her? Didn't you even say that she might even last until July?" She asked as she turned her body to face him all the way. The weeding could wait- she got paid by the hour anyway.

He sighed as he rolled flat onto his back. He was in a navy and red striped shirt, and it was hard to ignore the way the stripes accentuated his muscles.

James was an athlete, and while he played almost every sport imaginable at one point in his life, he excelled in football. His parents joked that he kicked so much in the womb, it would've been a waste not to have him play. And they were right.

He was the captain of their school's team, and he carried himself that way. He held himself high, walked with a purpose and spoke loud and cheery as if he'd just scored his team the winning goal. He was the perfect mix of disciplined and fun-loving, never failing to make Lily laugh or give her a shoulder to cry on.

"I did," He was looking up at the sky, hazel eyes showing signs of guilt that only Lily could notice. They both learned how to read each other in ways no one else could, "But I dunno, it just didn't feel right anymore. Like I was forcing something to happen that wasn't supposed to."

Lily moved back to the dirt, sighing. The one good thing about James and girls was that he never wasted time. James never led anyone on, never beat around the bush. If he liked you, you knew it. And if he didn't... Well, all Lily could say was that there were enough girls that James had hurt that she wouldn't be surprised if they formed a support group of some kind.

"How'd she take it?"

"Fine, I guess," He shrugged, taking the toothpick out of his mouth and resting his arms at his sides. Lily watched as he rolled it lightly between his fingers, "I'm sure she isn't happy about it, but at least she didn't cry so hard that she threw up all over my car."

That was Lane Maxwell. To soften the blow of being dumped, James took her to get frozen yoghurt before. Right after James ended it with her, she sobbed for roughly 15 minutes before throwing up all of her frozen yoghurt on the floor of his passenger seat. The Toyota Tacoma smelled like old milk and Lane Maxwell's vomit for days, serving as a reminder to James that the best way to break up with someone was to just get to the point.

"That's fair," Lily said, smiling at the memory. James called her right after it happened, and together, they tried their best to clean it, "So who's next? You still wanna take Becca Jenson out?"

James shook his head, "I heard that she was saying some stuff about Sirius and Rem, so I didn't want to bother."

"Fair," Lily was relieved. She never liked Becca Jensen. She found her snobby and pretentious, "You're in high demand, you know. Who doesn't want to go out with  the  James Potter?"

"You." He said, eyes meeting hers as he winked. Lily once told him that she'd instead be caught dead than go out with him, but that was before he grew up.

She realized that she had since changed her mind.

[mischief-marauders]

Modern Marauders: Halloween costume gone wrong

Sirius slammed his charms book down on his desk. “No! Do not ask me again! I am not risking your parent's wrath!"

James sat next to him and flashed him a grin. “Our parents. You don’t want to risk our parent's wrath.”

Sirius smiled softly with a blush creeping over his cheeks. “Our parents.”

James slapped his knee and Sirius gave him a smirk. ‘I’m still not risking it”

James flopped back on the bed and groaned. 

It was Halloween night and they were home, bored out of their minds. James would’ve gone out but Sirius was grounded due to an unfortunate mix of boredness, fireworks, Remus’ favorite sweater, and a Charms classroom. James didn’t want to leave Sirius by himself so he didn’t make plans. Until he checked Instagram and saw that Lily and Remus had gone to a muggle party in her neighborhood. It had all of his favorite things. An unsupervised house party, alcohol, and Lily. Oh and Remus.

James pouted at Sirius. “Please Sirius? Lily and Remus are having the time of their lives and you know how much I love Halloween parties. I promise we’ll sneak out and be back before mom and dad get home.”

Sirius snorted as he read his Charms book, doing the extra readings as part of his punishment.  “Your plans never work and we always end up getting in trouble. I don’t want to risk our parent's wra-”, Sirius paused as James looked at him with a puppy dog face. 

“I am not falling for that asshole,” Sirius said as he scowled at James.

James' eyes got bigger and his bottom lip protruded more.

Sirius groaned. “If I say yes, will you stop?”

James whooped and sprinted to their shared closet. “Yes. Now, what’re we going to wear? Oh! We can wear out Hogwarts robes!”

Sirius clapped sarcastically. “Great idea Jamie! Let's wear the uniform from our school of magic to a muggle party. Dumbledore would love that"

James groaned in frustration. What else could there be? He had a Mexican and Brazilian soccer jersey but that would be too basic. He needed something fresh. Original. Something that would impress Lily. He suddenly spotted a lone red hoodie and grabbed it with a triumphant smile on his face. He turned to Sirius, holding the hoodie above him like a prize.

Sirius raised his eyebrows as James asked “So, what are your opinions of paint on fur?”

Remus took a sip of his beer and surveyed the party with practiced disinterest. Lily’s neighbors who went to a muggle school in the area had invited them and while he wasn't too fond of Halloween and seeing people in werewolf costumes, he needed to get out a bit. Lily sidled up to him and let an exaggerated sigh of air. She was in the Scarlet Witch costume she had worn some time ago for his birthday party. He donned his Captain America costume to match with her. It was still the best birthday he had ever had and he loved having an excuse to put it on again

“Still haven’t talked to Sirius yet?”

Remus snorted and took a gulp of beer. He had been giving Sirius the cold shoulder. They all had plans to come to the party together but someone had the bright idea to set off fireworks during charms class. Which resulted in a furious Flitwick and Remus’ favorite sweater being charred. 

“I still need to ignore him for a couple more days to make sure he gets the message.” 

Suddenly, Remus yelped and dropped his beer on the grass as something nosed at his ass. Lily turned around, fist up and ready to pummel whoever decided to grab Remus when she dropped her fist and a grin overtook her face. James was standing there, grinning and dressed as Miguel from Coco and Sirius in dog form, painted to look like Dante. James was wearing jeans, a white shirt, a red hoodie over top, and his face was painted like a skull. Sirius the dog was covered in a rainbow of colors and patterns, looking exactly like one of the magical Alebrije’s from the movie. 

Lily laughed and asked “Are you serious?” at the same time that Remus bent down, scowling at the dog and asking, “Are you Sirius?”. 

Padfoot wagged his tail and barked at Remus.

James shrugged and said, “I was going to bring a guitar but that would’ve been too much.”

Remus ran his hands through Padfoot’s fur and scowled at James. “Do you know how long it’s going to take to get this paint out of his fur?”

James ruffled his hair in nervousness and tried not to make eye contact with the dog. 

“Oh come on, I looked it up. The paint will come off when he transforms back."

Remus narrowed his eyes in suspicion as Padfoot growled at him. James flashed him an overconfident grin, hoping it masked his lie. He had zero idea if the paint would come off. Sirius only agreed to be painted if it would come off immediately after.

Suddenly, Padfoot turned around and trotted into the house, full of blaring music and dancing teenagers. 

Lily traced her finger over the paint on James’ face.

“This looks amazing. I didn’t even think you knew what Coco was.”

James put his hand over hers and flashed her a small smile. 

“I heard you talking about how it's your favorite movie and it does have my people in it. I had to watch it. You have good taste by the way."

Remus was pretending to vomit at their flirting when a terrified girl in zombie makeup came out of the house, walking straight to them. 

“Um Lily?’, she started nervously, “Your friend's rainbow dog is drinking beer from a bowl in the kitchen. We tried to take it away but he growled and snapped at us”

Remus groaned and ran into the house, mumbling “Dumb dog”

Zombie girl drifted away as James grabbed Lily around the waist and put his hands gently on her hips. 

“By the way, I love the costume. You look amazing.”

Lily blushed and opened her mouth to flirt back when she was interrupted by Remus being dragged out of the house, his wrist clamped gently between Padfoots teeth. 

“Sirius, where are you taking me? I shouldn’t even be talking to you after what you just pulled. I don’t know how things worked at the noble and ancient house of incest, but dogs normally don't drink alcohol."

He paused as some of the people milling about outside of the house looked at him in confusion. 

“Can I fucking help you?”, he snarled at them. He glared at them until they all turned away awkwardly. Padfoot dragged him into the woods next to the house. 

All Lily and James could hear was Remus muttering “If you’re dragging me into the woods to try something, I hope you know I’m not turned on by the dog form”  

James looked down into Lily’s eyes. She looked ethereal under the moonlight. Her green eyes were alight and looked like shining emeralds. The look in her eyes and smirk on her lips drove him insane. He will always be amazed at the fact that she gave him a chance to show her that he's not a toerag. It's been months and every day it feels like a dream come true. He leaned his head down a little and she lifted her's to meet him halfway. Their lips were less than an inch away from each other when they heard screaming coming from the woods. James and Lily looked up startled as they saw Remus running out of the woods, bent over with laughter. A scream of frustration came from behind him along with the sound of pounding feet.  

“I’m going to fucking kill you James!’ Sirius roared as he ran straight at him from the woods, completely naked in human form, yet still covered in the paint he had on with his dog form. 

Lily screeched and covered her eyes as Sirius tackled a laughing James and knocked him over. 

Remus was bent over, gasping for air between his laughter. 

"You should've seen his face when he saw that he was still painted" Remus crowed, his face alight with mirth.

Sirius sat on top of a cackling James and pinned his arms behind his head. He struggling to hold him and let out a groan of frustration

“Stop laughing so I can kill you, asshole”

“You look so good though!” James wheezed between laughter and gasps of air as Sirius punched him in the stomach.

“You knew the paint wouldn't come off” Sirius hissed angrily.

James' eyes were watering with tears as he tried to break from Sirius’ hold. 

“I didn’t think you were going to transform back so soon! How was I going to know that you would try to get frisky with Remus during a Halloween party when you have zero clothes? C’mon, you wouldn’t have come with me otherwise and this costume needed a multicolored dog”

Sirius let out a huff of angry air as he punched James one last time and then stood up. He couldn't even be mad. It was a genius idea and something he probably would've done. This was going to be funny as hell if they somehow managed to get the paint off before their parents came home.

Remus wiped the tears from his eyes and struggled to stop laughing as Lily ran into the house and came back out with a tablecloth. She handed it to Sirius and helped a groaning James up as Remus helped tie it around him in toga style. 

Sirius was tying it in the front when he turned slightly and flashed a cheesy grin at Lily. “My eyes are up here Evans”

Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “You wish Black. I've seen enough of you tonight to last me several lifetimes. Do you have any shame at all? Are you not embarrassed to be naked in public? Is public nudity normal to you?”

Sirius shrugged and held Remus' hand. "What's there to be embarrassed by?"

Remus raised his eyebrows at Lily. "You should try sharing a dorm with him. He doesn't believe in doors, curtains, or privacy."

"He thinks he's God's gift to humanity", James said as he checked his abdomen for broken ribs. Once he was sure that nothing was broken, he held his bruised stomach and grinned at each of his best friends. He wrapped one hand around Lily's waist and he threw his other arm around Sirius's shoulders, making sure to squeeze his shoulder hard enough to bruise. 

“Now that thats over, let's party?'" James said as he led his friends back into the party, humming Proud Corazon under his breath. 

[poltoreveur]

Curse & Blessing

Pairing : James Potter x Reader

Summary : You were James' first love and the only person he had learn to love. But the love he felt was quickly washed away.

Warning : Just sad! James Potter.

Words count : 1000-ish, I didn't really counted.

A/N : The gif is mine.

James watched as you got called up to the front of the class to demonstrate the spell that Professor Flitwick just taught the entire class.

Feeling relief at the opportunity to unabashedly stare at you.

You nervously walked up to the front of the classroom. You were speaking on how, it was all in the flick of the hand. You continue to hold out your wand and explaining the process, whiles kept on chanting that it wasn't that hard as his eyes took in every millimeter of your appearance.

James kept staring, gawking as you continue to explain all about the spell that he has long forgotten. He notice every little small detail about your features that nobody else seem to notice or even care.

You sounded laid-back and you tried keeping together while you continue to explain. But James knew, even with that calm demeanor ━ or lack there of, you never liked to be in the center of attention to anyones eye.

He tried remembering the good times, when the two of you were together. He couldn't stop himself from kissing your cheek or even holding your hands at times. Or even after he won his quidditch match, he would run up to you in excitement and slowly kisses you on the field.

Though, you didn't like how he flaunted the relationship as if it was a show, you still appreciated that he was giving it his all and still doing the things the best he can. You knew he couldn't help himself from showing you off, practically saying to everyone that he was a lucky man to have you as his.

But now, he noticed more than just the way your hair bounced as you moved your head or the way your ears were painted red from the nerves of standing in front of the class, even the way you shifted from foot-to-foot.

He didn't know what has fully happening to him. And whatever it was, he couldn't really comprehend it.

Every little movement you did was permanently stamped into his head, whether he liked it or not.

The way your lips used to mold with his, how every little crevice in your hand fit in perfectly with his, how your laughs would synch with his at a funny joke-- everything. He remembered it all; it was a curse and a blessing.

He remembered the tears that rolled down your face when he told you that he wasn't in love with you anymore, the way you broke down in-front of him and looked him in the eyes.

You asked him if he really did fall out of love with you, you stared into his eyes looking for answers, and he did. But his answer wasn't what you were expecting. It had felt like his answer was coming from his head and not his heart.

He remembered those clear as day because it was the one moment in his life that he truly regretted something.

He wished that he talked things out with you, things like his insecurities, the uncertainty of the future, and way his heart pounded a little too fast for his liking around you, despite being in a relationship for a while at that point. Instead, he opted for keeping it all to himself and shutting himself off from you.

The first few weeks wasn't just a hell for him, but to the rest of the Marauders luck, they had to deal with James' sadness altogether as well.

They didn't like seeing their friend clearly upset and heartbroken. Most of the time he wouldn't come to eat and he would stayed in his dormitory until he had to be dragged to class.

But then when nightfall, it was the worse.

He would try convincing his friends that he was fine, telling them that it'd be best to leave him on his own. But none of them could because the first time they did, he finished a whole bottle of firewhisky alone and almost drank himself to death.

Sirius was the most worried out of the three. He couldn't see his friend in that state and he continued to give James an earful. After he told James that he couldn't stand seeing him like this, he knew that if his friend did the same, he wouldn't let them either.

So gradually, he started to pick himself back up again. His heartbreak still didn't stop then and there, but he knew he had to do it to stop the people who are still in his life from hurting much more.

And somehow, he accepted how the relationship had become. He gave himself an explanation on why it was the best to ended it all with you.

He came to the conclusion that ending things, would've hurt you both less in the long scheme of things.

Well, it was probably true for you, seeing as you were still happily going about your days, and on some occasion, your path would cross while you were walking down the hall, and you'd send a sad awkward smile to James' as you walk by.

For James, however, it was his biggest mistake.

He still kept on trying to convinced himself otherwise, but he knew he couldn't, not any longer.

His heart yearned for you the way a flower yearns for the sun, but his decisions took the sun away from him and bathed him in permanent moonlight. He'd have to live with his choices.

Until the day he could work up the courage to apologize to you, or until the day the moon gave way to a new sun, whatever that sun may be, James was content with watching you from afar.

At least, that's what he told himself.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

I recently discovered your blog, and i love it with all my heart, it makes me so happy (/gen) Can you write about after James finds out about The Prank™ Sirius played when he told Snape about Remus being a werewolf where James is mad at Sirius for a while, until he discovers Sirius alone in the dormitory crying or something? Just something with Angst and fluff in the end? I

James went pale. "You did what?"

"Relax, Prongs, it's not like he's going to do anything about it."

"What?" James could not believe that Sirius was being so blase about this. He just told Remus's biggest secret to someone that hated him, and he didn't think that he'd do anything about it? When had he gotten so bloody barmy, and where had James been for it?

"It's the full moon tonight! Moony's not going to be able to control himself."

"Snape isn't going to go anywhere near him," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "He's stupid, but he's not that stupid. He's not going to risk his life to get proof, and he can't do anything to get Moony in trouble without proof. D'you really think I would've told him how to get past the Whomping Willow if I thought that he'd actually be able to do anything about it?"

"You are unbelievable," James spit, then rushed past him. Someone had to stop Snape, and clearly it wasn't going to be Sirius.

Snape was definitely stupid enough to do that if he thought it would work. He hated them enough to not think it through, he'd just be thinking that he finally had something on them. It was kind of like how Sirius was so used to things going his way that he hadn't stopped to think what would happen if he told Snape about the Whomping Willow and what it was used for.

*

James loved Sirius. It was like a fact of the universe. Nothing would change it. James knew that, but it didn't mean that he was happy with Sirius right now. It had been a couple weeks, and he was still furious with him over what had happened with Moony. Even if Sirius had been right about what he thought would happen, James would still be mad at him, and that's not what had happened.

Sirius had been wrong. Snape had gone into the tunnel, on a full moon, and Remus had transformed. Snape not only heard proof of a werewolf, but he'd caught a glimpse of it. It was only because of Dumbledore's intervention that the whole school didn't know now, and three months of detention on Sirius's part didn't look like it effected him very much. Neither did getting kicked off the Quidditch team, which James tried and failed to not be offended by.

James thought that it might help a little if Sirius at least felt bad about it. He'd apologised to Moony, after the fact, when he was in the Hospital Wing. That's the most Sirius had done to show remorse. Around James, he acted like nothing had happened at all. Not that they were spending a lot of time together. Sirius did have detention every night except Saturday, which meant that any time he had outside of class was spent trying to do his homework.

It was a Saturday. Sirius didn't have detention, but James had Quidditch practice that Sirius was no longer a part of. Professor McGonagall came out and made them finish early-- something about school security, he hadn't really been listening to the specifics since it was such bollocks-- so James trudged up to Gryffindor Tower. He didn't know what he was going to say to Sirius when he got up there. Hell, maybe Sirius wouldn't even be there. He might be in the library, and Moony and Wormtail would be the ones in the dormitory.

He hoped Sirius was in the dormitory, though. Yes, he was still mad, but he also missed him. He'd get around to forgiving him, but it would speed up the process if they actually talked instead of dodging each other the way they had been.

He opened the door to their room, then froze.

Sirius, sat on his bed crying, also froze in place. It was almost impressive how quickly he managed to still. Between one second and the next, he stopped crying. His face went blank. If it weren't for the mess of tears and snot on his face, James would almost think that he'd imagined the sob that he'd heard.

Before James could say anything, Sirius transformed into Padfoot. He tilted sideways and laid down, legs kicked out and his head stretched up to his pillow. His tail, so often wagging with contentment, fell into line alongside his legs.

James stepped inside and shut the door. "McGonagall made us quit practice early. Not sure what that's about, but she's going to get an earful tomorrow."

Sirius didn't respond. Not so much as a snuffle from his snout.

"I think this is the first time you've ever ignored me," James said.

One of his paws twitched like he thought about getting up, and he glanced at James for a second before rolling his head into the duvet to get more comfortable.

James pulled his shoes off and tossed them carelessly in the direction of his bed, then walked over to where Padfoot was sprawled out. He sat on the bed and leaned back on one hand. With the other, he started petting Padfoot. "Your fur's getting a little tangled."

Sirius heaved a sigh.

Right. James was normally the one that brushed it for him, and they hadn't really been talking for the past few weeks. "You mind if I do that now?"

Sirius raised his head to look at him. There was a pause where, if he was human, he'd say something. He didn't transform back, just laid his head back down and shifted to get more comfortable.

"I'm going to take that as a yes."

Sirius didn't huff at him, so James took that as further agreement.

James had to get off the bed to grab the dog brush that was under Sirius's bed. Brush in hand, he climbed back on the bed, but this time it was at Padfoot's back instead of near his legs. He gave a quick rub to Padfoot's head, the fur there short and soft in comparison to the rest, then he started brushing. He'd gotten better at it the more they did it, so the motions at this point were soothing instead of consuming.

He worked in silence for a while. By the time he was halfway through, he stopped and said, "I do love you, you know. If that's what you were worried about, you shouldn't be."

Padfoot shifted uneasily.

"I was angry. That's all."

He transformed back and sat up. He didn't look at James. "I know it was stupid," he muttered. "It nearly got Moony hurt. It nearly got Snape killed. It was so bloody stupid, and I..." He let the sentence trail off and didn't bother to pick it back up.

"You did something stupid, and now you're sorry, yeah?"

"I wasn't sorry at the time."

"I remember. It's why I said that you're sorry now," James teased, bumping their shoulders together.

"Does this mean that you've forgiven me?" Sirius asked. He looked over at James, his eyes wide and vulnerable. He hadn't looked half this open as when James had walked in and caught him crying.

"Sirius, I forgave you the second you said that you thought nothing bad would come of it. I just needed to stop being angry, which." James thought about it for a second then sighed. "Yeah, I admit, I'm not sure I'm completely over it."

"I think you need a refresher on what forgiveness means," Sirius said.

"Oh come on, I'm angry in general, like at the situation."

"So you're saying that you're not mad at me?" Sirius asked skeptically.

James made a face. "I haven't thought about it much. Stop asking me questions I don't have the answers to."

"You're the one that wanted to talk."

"I know." James turned the brush over in his hands, just for something to do. "Look, whether I'm angry or not, whether I've completely forgiven you for it or not, I miss you. I've spent all this time feeling like time has stopped, and it's almost a month later. I keep putting the wrong date on my essays. I think Professor Flitwick is ready to beat me to death with a feather because of it."

Sirius snorted.

"I miss you. I'm tired of us being so awkward around each other. I want my boyfriend back. I want my best mate back. Can we at least try?"

"And what, forget about everything else?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of dealing with it when it comes up."

Sirius looked at him for a long moment, and James worried that he was going to say no. He didn't think that Sirius had any reason to say no, but it still made him anxious. But then he gave a small nod. "We can try that," he said quietly.

"Great," James said with a small smile. Then he shook the brush in Sirius's direction. "Now transform back, I wasn't done."

"So bossy," Sirius teased, then he transformed and laid back down. He turned so that he was on his stomach, feet tucked under him. It gave James a better angle.

James scratched behind his ears before resuming. "Love you."

Padfoot let out a small whine. James knew that it meant he loved him too.

[the-young-and-forgotten]

Happiness

| evermore masterlist |

A/N: this is my first fic for the collab with @just-a-belgian-girl! I hope you enjoy it! This honestly took too long to write lol

Honey, when I'm above the trees

I see this for what it is

But now I'm right down in it

All the years I've given

Is just shit we're dividing up

Showed you all of my hiding spots

I was dancing when the music stopped

And in the disbelief

I can't face reinvention

I haven't met the new me yet

It was a chilly Autumn night, Sirius was yet to return home from his latest mission, so you were stuck eating dinner alone… again.

You had come out of Hogwarts a year and a half ago. You were now living with your boyfriend. You were happy as one could be when your relationship starts feeling forced.

In all honesty, one side of you knew that he had fallen out of love. But your naive side won out whispering ‘it’ll be okay’ ‘he still loves you’ ‘his work is just taking a toll on him’ into your ear, preventing you from seeing the truth. So you continued on, stuck in the same routine as always.

Tears slid down your face as you stood to put your dishes away. Of course this happened to you. Nothing ever won out in your favour.

Hearing a knock on the door, you startle and drop the plate into the sink. You plaster on the smile you have been practicing for the past year.

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness

Past the blood and bruise

Past the curses and cries

Beyond the terror in the nightfall

Haunted by the look in my eyes

That would've loved you for a lifetime

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

You hadn’t noticed it was raining until you opened the door wide to let Sirius in. He was soaked through, looking like a drowned rat.

He shrugged off his cloak and threw it over the coat rack, tracking the water indoors. He bends down and kisses your cheek, lacking the warmth it used to have. He murmurs a hello before continuing to the kitchen.

“Dinner’s on the table” you pointlessly mutter, following him through. “I’m just gonna go to bed...” He barely acknowledges what you said, too busy helping himself to the food. You wrap your arms around your aching torso and go upstairs, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

You close the door behind you, enclosing yourself in the dark. You flop down onto the bed, tears flowing freely. What had happened to the beautiful romance the two of you used to have? Oh, how you miss it. Everything was so much simpler back then.

You curl in on yourself, as if trying to protect yourself from the hurtful truth. After a while, Sirius sneaks in, bending over to give you a goodnight kiss. If he notices your puffy eyes, he doesn’t say anything.

Tell me, when did your winning smile

Begin to look like a smirk?

When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?

I hope she'll be a beautiful fool

Who takes my spot next to you

No, I didn't mean that

Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury

You haven't met the new me yet

The sun isn’t even up by the time you both get out of bed. It’s quiet, something totally out of character for Sirius.

He was sitting at the table, head in his hands. You walk behind him and hug him from behind, sliding your hands down his chest. “What’s wrong beautiful?” He shrugs off your hands and stands up, chair cluttering down behind him.

“I’m just- I’m just not feeling the greatest right now.” He leans on the table, hair in his face. He was clearly exhausted. You place a tentative hand on his shoulder, slightly nervous to be touching him in this state. “Sirius if you want I can-” “Just stop.” He flings you hand off once more, turning to face you.

You blink owlishly up at him “What” “I just-” he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes “I need to be alone right now”

‘I need to be alone right now’

The words echo in your mind. For six months you have been hearing that one repeat. You were sick of it.

Barely registering what you were doing, you slap the top of the table in anger. “No.” He lowers his hand and stares at you incredulously. “No?” It comes in a whisper. The calm before the storm.

You nod feverishly “No. I have had it up to here with your excuses as to why you can’t hang out with me anymore. I didn’t come into this relationship only to be second guessing whether or not my boyfriend loves me.” He goes to interrupt but you plow on, refusing his input.

“Time and time again I have pushed down my anger and hurt saying ‘he’s just going through something’ but you’re not, you’re not. Just.. tell me what I’m doing wrong!”

The room feels more crowded as he moves toward you, eyes spitting fury. “What’s wrong?” He gestures to the two of you. “We are wrong. We can never agree, constant nit-picking at each other and so much anger!”

You throw your hands up in rage “I’m only angry because you neglect me! You slouch inside the house every. Single. Evening. So mopey and goddamn tired either demanding food or sleep and I can’t handle it! You are NOT the Sirius Black of Hogwarts.”

He freezes in anger stone cold. Impassive. Then, he erupts. “Open your eyes Y/n! THIS ISN’T HOGWARTS ANYMORE. We can’t run around like the kings and queens of the world anymore! You don’t think I want to go back? You don’t think-” he chokes, angrily wiping away tears. “You don’t think I want everything as it was?” His voice drops at this, letting the tears fall.

“I can’t take this new world! It’s big! It’s cold! It’s dog eat dog constantly. Someone like me can’t survive out here! I need life, love, I need warmth. But day in and day out I sit here slowly freezing from the inside out.”

He wraps his arms around his torso and bends over, screaming with so much hurt and anger that you start to cry as much as him.

“I’m sorry Y/n, I just can’t do this anymore.”

He walks away from you, fingers working at his hair. He stomps outside, front door slamming shut causing the whole house to shake.

There'll be happiness after me

But there was happiness because of me

Both of these things I believe

There is happiness

In our history

Across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

You hear the roar of his motorbike before you see him leave. You knew this was a long time coming. In a way you were sort of relieved. But damn you forgot how much it stung.

He was gonna come back soon. You just knew it. But he wasn’t going to stay.

This was the end.

The end of you and him. Him and you. Forever.

‘Oh well’ you think, but the tears in your eyes say otherwise. It just started really sinking in now.

You rub your eyes and stifle a yawn. It was way too early for this shit. You finally get up to make yourself a cup of coffee and go sit on your porch.

The sun was starting to rise but you had little appreciation for it. Content to sip your coffee and overthink. It wasn’t until the warm, golden rays of the early morning hit your face did you really start to appreciate it. Hell, you hadn’t seen the sun rise in forever. You slowly place the cup down and rest your arms upon your legs, leaning in. You close your eyes and feel the soft sun upon your face. For the first time in ages you feel whole again.

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

I guess it's the price I pay for seven years in heaven

And I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night now I get fake niceties

No one teaches you what to do

When a good man hurts you

And you know you hurt him too

He comes back near nighttime, significantly calmer than hours before. You were sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch and reading your book. “Did you come back to get your stuff?” You ask, idly flipping over the page. The only response was the sound of a suitcase being dragged across the floor.

He dragged it all the way to the front door, pausing. You stand up from your position, a little confused. “So are you gonna go or-?”

“I never meant for this to happen..” Sirius whispered, so quietly you had to strain to hear him. He turned around to face you, tear tracks staining his cheeks. “I thought we would last forever like James and Lily.”

Sighing you walk over to him resting a hand on his arm “James and Lily are one of a kind. We just weren’t meant for this type of long time relationship.” You smile gently at him, feeling unreasonably calm. “You said it yourself back in 5th year. Honestly we tried too hard didn’t we.” You feel your own eyes start to well up. Fuck, you had thought you were done with tears.

He drops his suitcase and pulls you in for a hug, resting his head on yours. In that hug you feel all the memories you shared and the countless deeds you had committed together pass through. All of those memories were now sitting in an old castle, shut away and partially forgotten.

The two of you pull away and you wave him off. The night quickly swallows him up, leaving where he was going to himself and the night only. The cold air bites at you but you can’t bring yourself to go in just yet, so you sit down and wait. Waiting for what, you don’t know. Finally you force yourself to go in, the house more quiet than you had ever heard it.

Honey, when I'm above the trees

I see it for what it is

But now my eyes leak acid rain

On the pillow where you used to lay your head

After giving you the best I had

Tell me what to give after that

All you want from me now

Is the green light of forgiveness

You haven't met the new me yet

And I think she'll give you that

If someone had told you that in 2 years time that Sirius would break up with you and you were gonna be sleeping alone you would've laughed in their face. But it wasn’t all that funny anymore.

Your body fluids must have gone down to 20% due to the amount of tears you were shedding. Did they ever end? Everytime you wiped your face, your hand came back damp with tears.

It was one of those nights where everything felt lonely. The house had been eerily quiet for days now and...deserted. You shift onto your side, unable to sleep. The left side of the bed remained untouched and cold. You reach over and lay your hand on the pillow. You can almost feel him there. But of course, it’s empty.

You throw yourself out of bed, stomping out to the front.

In the lamplight you see a young couple twirling their way along the sidewalk, their laughter rings around the street, so carefree and drunk on love. You smile softly at them, hoping to god that their relationship lasts.

But like everything in life, they pass by. Leaving the night silent and judging as before. You sigh and open your mouth feeling the need to vent your problems to the night.

“I know our relationship is done, and we won't ever get back together again. But god, I regret forcing it to work. Maybe if we had just let it be…we would’ve lasted longer.” You rest your cheek in your hand and close your eyes. “But that's just wishful thinking.”

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you too

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness

In our history

Across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight

Leave it all behind

Oh, leave it all behind

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

For the next few weeks your mind is surprisingly clear. You sell your old house and move into a little town on the edge of a forest. You explore the little village you landed yourself in, feeling more free than ever.

You walk back along the dirt path towards your house. You feel warmth on your hair and tilt it towards the setting sun, smiling softly for the first time in weeks.

Oh how you could stay here forever. And you will.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

sirius and potters is my fav trope ever. he's the potter wispherer and they in return are sirius black wispherer. the amount of love shared between all of them is insane and i love it. i love how sirius is often seen as this big larger than life one of the strongest characters in hp world and the elder potters and James took one look at him (literally James even on train was like Slytherin's suck but if you get sorted there I'm wearing a green scarf and supporting you even though it might kill me inside) and were like small bebe. protect. snuggle.

one thing I'm curious of your take on about how sirius would react when james and lily got together like would he give her a peptalk for how If she ever hurt james it wouldn't go very well or a peptalk on how amazing the potters are and while their love seems overwhelming just enjoy it

do you also have any sirius and the potters hc that you haven't really shared before?

uhh also one hc that i have in perticular is an an au world where sirius introduces regulus to james just to maybe show him the difference from how blacks operate and the meeting is classic grouchy cat reg and human puppy personified james.

reg: this is scary people are talking to me and telling me they love me and what is this wrapping their arms around me that makes me feel safe???

potters: should we stop?

reg: no do it more

okay, i love this ask. so much. sirius and the potters (all potters from all walks of life) is one of my favorite things to write about, despite how little i do so on here.

so alll your curiosities will be answered under the cut for my takes on this that only one person asked for. <3

how would sirius react when james/lily got together?

so, you'll see more of this in no matter the wreckage and i've written a holiday dribble on it before, but i HC sirius and lily as having been friends before james and lily started dating.

they bonded over their shifting family dynamics as early as first year and just...were friendly. and then got to be like actual friends around 4th year (sirius took arithmancy, lily took arithmancy, james did not. sirius is super good at magical numerology in my brain; also could unpack that sirius was top of the class in most things and him and lily had this on-going academic compeition (you're absolutely incorrect if you think The Blacks would've let Sirius just *skate by* it'd be THE BEST or nothing, especially since he was already a "dissapointment" by being sorted into gryffindor. i really dislike fics that make sirius...a slacker for this reason alone. like...You think Orion/Walburga Black would've let that happen? but also that sirius is smart, and if he keeps his grades up, guess who stays off his back???) ANYWHO. Lily and Sirius were friends! James and Sirius were ride or dies!

But, Sirius is James over everybody else in the world, right? i wrote a scene in NMTW where Lily hurts james feelings and sirius literally gets up from where he's sitting at the table to make a physical barrier between lily and james. and has remus and peter and marlene and everyone follow. I think Lily got a talk for sure. I actually think that James would've been like "Mm, you need to meet Sirius" and Lily would be like "...I've met him? We're friends? We're literally studying tonight" and James is like "Nah, it's different now that we're dating" and it'd be like this BIG CHARADE.

but YES to sirius being like lily just...let it happen. let him love you--you want another snippet from NMTW?

“James is a lot. He is...intense and too much and a handful, however you want to say it. But, when has having too much ever been a bad thing?” Sirius asked her, “Too much money? Too much candy? Too much fun? That’s not bad.”

“You get a stomach ache.”

“Yeah, if you keep all the candy to yourself like a selfish-tosspot. But James doesn’t. It’s like...he loves too much with his heart outside his body, which I realize sounds incredibly stupid but I don’t much care. Everything he loves is outside of his body and you’re a part of it.”

“I don’t want to date him.”

“Great. So don’t. But you don’t have to be a dick to him either. You don’t have to act like you hate him especially when you clearly don’t as evidenced by you’ve been talking about him for the past half-hour all because you think you might have hurt his feelings.”

“I--”

“His heart is on the outside of his body, Evans. He has really intense feelings all the time. And as annoying as it is sometimes, it’s...actually something spectacular if you just learn to let it happen. So let it happen, and stop being rude for no reason. He’s just trying to be your friend.”

sirius and the potters headcanons?

i haven't shared alot of my thoughts on them to be perfectly honest. here are a few though:

-the first summer sirius was there, sirius tested all the boundaries known to man to see what would happen.

-i know this is canonically false, but it's the way it has to work in my brain or else i can't do it, sirius runs away winter of fifth year. so that first short holiday really is just sirius being like "what the fuck is my life now" and kind of....uh, *searching for the word* oh, okay, damage control. it's damage control. the summer is when shit really kicked up. it took like a month for sirius to get comfortable talking at the dinner table with the potters so candidly (speak when your spoken to blahdeyblahdeyblah) and the first time he did sirius was so nervous but was just hyped up by all the potters.

-sirius is active, but james is a new level of active. sometimes i think sirius would go to work with Mr. Potter just for some like...quiet break.

-i think sirius and james relationship during this summer is like...one of the most poignant things for character development? and like deflating james's head because he finally got to see the dark and dirty shit sirius had tried to keep from him for so long. and sirius was finally held accountable in a way that was non-punitive/self-damaging. could probably write a whole fic about this summer alone.

-sunday afternoon tea.

-i think the potters (effie and monty) had FRIENDS. and hosted PARTIES all the time. that were so full of life and different people. and it was the best.

- the potters got a piano just for sirius because they knew he liked to play, even if he pretended he didn't.

- sirius cooking with Mrs. Potter. sirius gardening with Mrs. Potter.

regarding reg:

yes. 100% but i think what's important to note is sirius was ALSO like this? maybe not to the same extent regulus was (because dispositions are different) but sirius was absoluely like "this is really fucking weird" when he first got to the potters.

like, even james showing up to breakfast in his pajamas. and sirius was like ???? because if he ever did that at number 12, nope. nope. so sirius shows up to breakfast every day like dressed and ready to go. and james walking in shirtless is like what the heck.

[luveline]

when i tell you you’re literally my all time favorite writer on here. i love love love the way you write things. it’s so natural, it flows so well, it’s amazing.

i have a request if you don’t mind. james x plus sized!reader where she overhears him and his friends talking and they’re like talking bad abt her and she runs away before she can hear him defend her. so when he sees her later she tells him she wants to break up cause he deserves better. and he explains that he loves her only.

babe stop ily ily tysm 😭😭♥️♥️ thank u for requesting! hope this is okay! (insecure plus sized!reader x rugby player!james)

"Sweetheart?" James asks into the quiet flat, frowning down at his phone. He's already blocked half his old friends and he's trying his best to block the rest while explaining the situation to Sirius. 

Bunch of shallow losers 

was getting fucked off w mclaggen anyway mate. Good riddance. Is ur bird OK? 

She's fine. Well, technically haven't told her what they said. Maybe I shouldn't ? 

happy it's happening to u n not me 

James groans. Such a Sirius way to say he's empathetic. 

"Y/N?" he calls for you again, shoving his phone in his pocket. 

He's been berated with 'learn to take a joke' messages for the last half hour. He won't, though, because nobody jokes about his girl – not on his watch. He would've made it physical if it weren't for how upset it makes you.

His eyebrows pinch together. Where are you? He'd been expecting to see you for dinner and you'd never showed up, and now you weren't here? 

He's turned around to put his shoes back on when he hears it finally, your miserable, muffled sniffling. He finds you sitting at the end of his bed, a plastic bag in your hand full of clothes. 

"Going somewhere?" he asks lightly. 

You wince. "Going home," you murmur. 

"Home's right here." 

Your lips pucker, a wave of trembling. 

"What's the matter?" 

"It's nothing." 

"Your stuff is packed and you're crying a storm, so forgive me if I don't believe you," he says, a tension in his tone that he regrets but can't kick. 

"I think we should break up." 

James scowls. Then, after a moment to recompose himself, asks, "Why? You don't want to be with me?" 

"I always want to be with you," you say miserably, wiping your face with the back of your hand. James hovers in the doorway, wanting to comfort you, as if he isn't the one getting broken up with. 

"Then why do you want to break up?" 

You suck in a big breath and look up at him, and he wants to cry as soon as he gets a good look at your face, all blotchy and damp with tears. You squeeze the bag of clothes to your chest, hiding your body. 

"You're you, Jamie, and I'm me. It's just never going to work." 

"It's working right now." 

"Your friends-" 

A wave of relief and horror, because fuck, you'd heard them, their flippant, awful comments. But now he has an explanation for why you're crying and that means he can fix it. 

"You were there." 

You nod. "They're right. About everything." You sound gutted. His heart skips. "I- I'm not pretty enough, or skinny enough, or anything that you need. All the other guys have perfect cheerleader girlfriends and you could too, you could have any girl you want, and-" 

"I quit the rugby team."

You flinch. Maybe not quite the reaction he has in mind, but you stop your rant of self-hatred, and that's enough. 

Your eyes are wide and bright with a rush of tears. "You what?" 

"I quit. I'll join a different one." 

"James, you can't just quit. You've worked so hard-" 

"I know I have. And I'm not stopping, but I'm not staying on a team of fuckwad idiots who spew locker room poison about my girl." 

"But they're right, James." 

He drops his rucksack on the ground and approaches you slowly so you don't spook, pulling the bag of clothes from your reluctant fingers. "Sweetheart, they're not right. How can you think that?" 

"Of course they are. I'm exactly what they said." 

"You're beautiful." 

You hiccup. He brings a hand to your face slowly, sliding his fingers across your soft cheek to rest under your ear, thumbs pushed into your chin. He rubs the pad of one over your chin, back and forth and back again, waiting for some sign that you've been soothed. Sure enough, your shoulders fall, your eyebrows relax. 

"Don't quit the team," you whisper, looking up at him. He thinks your eyes are so pretty, even heavy with tears. 

"I already did. And after the things I said, I doubt they'd let me back." He scowls to himself. "Not that I ever want to go back," he adds hotly. 

"James," you whine. 

He brings his hands together, lightly squeezing your face as he leans down. "Please don't break up with me," he says pathetically. 

You cover one of his hands with your own. "I don't want to." Something in your voice tells him you're both gonna be alright, the seriousness of it. 

"Good. Please don't, angel. I genuinely think I would die. I'm not too masculine and sexy to admit that."

"Masculine and sexy," you repeat weakly. 

"So you agree." 

You grumble then, the sound you always make when he's getting his way and being a cornball about it. 

He can't take it anymore, pressing a firm, hot kiss to the crest of your hairline. His hands caress the back of your head, the nape of your neck. He pulls away, feels a spike of stress that he could possibly lose you, and presses a second right on top of the first. 

Your hands search for him, bumping over his arms, fingers finding the round hill of his bicep. 

"Alright, bring it in, sweet thing," he says, quick to pull you up by the armpits, wrapping you in a strong hug. 

Your arms slide over his shoulders and around his neck until you're chest to chest. 

"I'm sorry people are so fucking awful. That you can't just live without all this bullshit," he says. 

You pull him in impossibly tighter, face pushed into his neck. Your nose rubs a stripe up his neck, and your breath is hot on his skin. 

"M'sorry I can't be different." 

He pulls you back fast, startled, needing to see you eye to eye. "I love you exactly how you are. I love you right now, like this. I don't want you to be different. I just… want you," he emphasises, and hopes you can read every ounce of meaning. 

You look a little lost. He presses his forehead into yours and sighs. 

"I love you," you say. Your fingers twitch where they rub against his neck, tangling in the short hairs there. 

You share a breath, two, long minutes in the relief of an averted heartbreak he's not sure he would've survived. 

"Wanna have gooey make up sex?" he asks eventually, hoping to lift your mood. 

"We didn't really break up," you say, your giggling a mixture of nervous excitement. 

"Oh, right. Well, break up with me so I can give you crazy, ridiculous head."

"Jamie," you chide quietly. He's already moving down, hands probing the doughy flesh of your thighs. 

He kneels between your legs, looking up at your smiling, damp face.  

"I bet I look awful from down there," you murmur. 

He tilts his head to one side, assessing. "S'my favourite place in the whole world." 

[thou-crusty-batch-of-nature]

The rise and fall of our love

part one | part two

playlist: broken by jake bugg

no.1 party anthem by arctic monkeys

pairing: james x reader, james x lily 

warnings: language, angst, fluff 

A/N: sooo im back with part two!!! thank you for the fantastic feedback and appreciation you gave me on the first part, and i hope this lives up to your expectations!!!! sending all the love xoxo

masterlist

(moodboard made by me)

"How is he?" 

"Y/N…" Remus began, putting down his quill. Your gaze never left the essay in front of him, refusing to see the pity that his stare held. Because that - that glint in his eyes, the way the right corner of his mouth lifted in a poor attempt of a smile - that was pity. 

You shook your head softly. How did it get here? 

"Am I not allowed to know? He won't speak to me or look at me. I almost feel guilty even though I know I haven't done anything wrong." 

"James is…"

"A fool." 

You knew he was trying not to smile. "Yes, that is the obvious answer. But he is still with Lily." 

Of course he is. What he said that day - or rather what he smelt - has been the talk of the school for weeks. People were staring at you in the halls, pointing behind your back - so much that you stopped hanging out anywhere else besides your dorm and the library. 

And James - he never bothered to say anything to you. It hurt more than you expected to, but you didn't let it show. I am fine, you said every time one of your friends asked. Then, you would smile kindly and change the subject. You would see them exchange worried glances - you pretended you didn't notice. Soon they stopped asking, and you stopped pretending. 

"Do they love each other?" Something in your pathetic heart broke at the quiver in your voice. Love.

Love. Never in your life have you heard a more overrated word. So much loss, so much damage made for love. Was it really worth it? The way your stomach dropped and the slight tremble of your lip, the ache that would just not go away - were these the cost of love? 

You lifted your head, meeting his gaze. He watched you in awe - as if he read the truth in your eyes. You felt the tears roll on your cheeks, hitting the parchments sprawled on your desk. You let them fall. He opened his mouth, then closed it. 

"I understand." you whispered. 

You got up, but Remus caught your hand. 

"Do you…?" 

You smiled softly. "Does it matter anymore?" 

He let go of your hand and you walked away. 

×××

"Hogsmeade, today?" Sirius asked as he plopped down next to you. He took a big bite of your sandwich - and noticing your icy glare, he put his hand over your shoulder and pressed a sloppy kiss on your cheek. You pushed him off you and wiped your face. 

"Bloody hell! You even kiss like a dog!" you retorted. 

"No, I don't." 

"No, he doesn't." Marlene smirked and you rolled your eyes. 

"Hogsmeade, you were saying?" 

"Yes - Remus and Lily are busy with their important top-secret prefect duties and James has quidditch practice, so it'll be just us. I guess you don't mind third-wheeling for a bit." 

"Can't wait!" you feigned excitement. 

×××

It was freezing, to say the least. You were glad you had two pairs of socks on, otherwise you might have had to postpone the trip and pay a visit to the hospital wing instead. 

"I don't sound like that!" Sirius whined, handing you and Marlene your butterbeer - you've decided to stop at The Three Broomsticks. 

"Of course you do, darling. And may I add that you look ravishing." you purred in your best impression of Sirius' voice. Then, you turned to Marlene and winked. "You are the most gorgeous person in here."

"Careful, that's not true." a voice caught your attention. No, no no no.

"Oi - Prongs, mate! Thought you had quidditch practice!" Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Got cancelled because of the snow. Hello." he nodded and smiled towards you and Marlene, then pulled a chair at the table. It was the first time he's talked to you in weeks. 

You didn't bother to answer. In fact, you didn't even look at him. The rest of your stay at the pub passed in a haze, with careless answers and quick nods. 

×××

Before you knew it, you were left on a bench with James, waiting for the others to "buy some quills from Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop", as they were in big need of "quills" and "didn't have any left to write the Transfiguration essay we had due Wednesday". Oh, if only you had Transfiguration on Wednesdays! 

"So… how have you been?" James trailed off, rubbing his neck. Ah, so that's how he wanted to play this game.Too bad. 

"Why, James?" you ask, gazing at the shops in front of you. "Why did you ignore me? What happened that day?" 

He sighed. "I don't know. I- I made a mistake. You shouldn't have found out, not like that." 

"You have some guts, don't you?" you spat. 

"Excuse me?" You faced him. That face - the face you dreamt about, the one you kept telling yourself you hated - you missed that face, you missed him so much that you were glad you were sitting down, for you might as well have fallen to your knees. 

"Do you know how it is," you started, feeling the tears pooling in your eyes, "to feel so alone that you find yourself crying without a reason? Do you know how it feels to spend your nights wondering why you weren't enough - what you did to deserve this? Even if you did nothing wrong?"

"Do you know how it's like to watch the person you love drift away from you? To watch that person become a stranger? Do you know how it felt to know that you wouldn't even look at me?" You were now shouting. "Tell me, James! Look me in the eyes and tell me!" 

Silence. You watched him trying to find an answer and you silently begged him to say something. 

"Do you love me?" he whispered incredulously. Not that. 

"Would it change anything if I said I do?" 

"I don't know."

"Do you still love her?" You couldn't say her name. 

"I don't know." He let his head fall in his hands. For the first time in weeks, you laughed. You laughed until your vision went blurry, until you felt the salty taste of your tears. 

"You know nothing, James Potter." you sneered, then got up. 

You made your way back to the castle alone. 

×××

"Guys guys I have the most amazing idea." Sirius came rushing in the Great Hall, managing to trip and almost fall. He quickly regained his composure and continued running as if nothing had happened. 

"That's new." Remus said while reading the prophet. 

It's been weeks since that night in Hogsmeade, weeks in which you've avoided James at all costs, despite his numerous attempts at conversation. 

"I'll choose to ignore that." Sirius glared at his friend, then continued. "Don't you all want to go for a dip?" 

"I think I speak for all of us when I say that I do not intend to die in the freezing lake on a lovely day of winter." You scowl, munching on your pastries. You loved pastries. (mood) 

Sirius smirked. "I'm glad you are all so joyous so early in the morning, but for your knowledge, I wasn't talking about the lake. My dear, smartass friends, I was thinking of crashing the Prefects bathroom!" 

That got your attention. You looked at Remus full of hope and he shrugged. 

"And how exactly are we going to do that? "

"Well, this is where our prefect friends come in handy."

"Lily would never help you do this." James cuts in. 

"That's why I wasn't planning on inviting her." Much to your surprise James didn't object. "You forgot about our other prefect friend - and I'm looking at you, Moony." 

You all looked at Remus who seemed a tad bit uncomfortable. "I guess - alright? But if anyone catches us, it's your fault." he pointed his finger at Sirius. 

"I solemnly swear." He put his hand over his heart, then winked. 

×××

"Looks like your plan to ignore James isn't gonna last." Marlene said while stuffing all the towels she could find in her bag. 

"I'm aware of that." You really were. You've mentally prepared yourself to spend the night in the same room with him for the past week. "Ready? The boys are waiting." 

"Yeah, let's go." You were to go to the bathroom in groups of three using the cloak, then spend the night there. 

"Alright," Sirius' head popped from under the cloak "we'll go together - Remus, James and Peter are already there. Come on." he whispered. 

You got to the bathroom in no time and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach. You felt pathetic - you were all going to hang out as friends. 

Marlene's hand squeezed yours - everything will be alright. It was your thing; back in the day, you used to do this every time the other would be anxious about something. You looked at her and smiled, squeezing back twice - I know. 

You entered and your mouth flew open.  You've never seen a more luxurious bathroom before. The "bathtub" was easily the size of a medium sized pool. Greek caryatids held the archways, and the stained glass windows reflected their patterns on the marble floor tiles. 

"I suddenly feel bad for not working harder to be a prefect - if I had known this would be my bathroom, I would've gladly learnt the entire History of Magic coursebook by heart" Marlene said, with a small pout on her face and her arms crossed. 

"Same here." Your gaze followed the sculptures on the ceiling and slowly fell on him. He looked angelic - the way the coloured moonlight caressed his face, the faint blush on his cheeks - made him part of the setting. 

There was no point in lying to yourself. You liked him, despite everything he's done, everything he's said, you continued to like him. All those comforting lies you've said were trying to cover the inevitable truth, the truth which had been well hidden somewhere deep inside your soul. Until now. 

You stripped out of your clothes, fully aware of his impertinent stare. You stepped into the pool, sighing in pleasure at the warmth of the water. 

"Wanna play anything?" you asked no one in particular. 

"Oh, we should play shoulder wars!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.

"I think I'm gonna skip this!" Peter announced from his chair. 

You looked at James, then turned to Remus. You rose your eyebrows inquisitively, and he smiled kindly. 

"I guess imma skip this one as well." James said, slightly disappointed. 

"Come on, Marls, we gotta kick some ass."

And so did the games begin. 

×××

You were trying, and failing miserably to keep your balance on Remus' shoulders. 

"Haha- losers!" Marlene laughed. It was your sixth time losing.

"Y/N, I think I'll give up now, before this becomes too humiliating." Remus said while getting out of the water and pulling out his book. 

"No Remus, you can't give up now! I know we can do this!" you saw him sit comfortably in an armchair, and something clicked into your mind. "You ditch me to read? And sabotaged me? Remus John Lupin, I'm disappointed."

"Take Prongs instead, he's far more competitive than I am." he smiled innocently. So this was his plan. 

You turned to James, and he got up excitedly. You got on his shoulders, and his hands tentatively touched your legs. You saw Marlene and Sirius smirking and you glared at them. 

×××

The score was close. It was the match point. Marlene was desperately trying to push you when you came up with the winning idea. You splashed some water into her face, obstructing her vision. Then, you tickled her and she fell. 

"And that's how it's done!" you shout, raising your fist. Marlene's head appeared from under the water, clearly mad. 

"That was not fair!" 

"There's no such thing as fair!" Marlene smirked, as if she was saying oh, really? and pushed James with such brute strength that he fell, taking you with him. 

He caught you before your head could hit the bottom. He lifted you up bridal style and you put your left hand around his neck and moved the other one from your nose to his shoulder. You stayed in his arms, not wanting to let go. You were gazing into each other's eyes, breathing heavily, when it hit you. 

You loved him. 

And he was still with Lily. 

You pulled away from his embrace, breaking the stare. "It's not right - Lily…" you mutter, getting out of the water. 

The others seemed all deeply interested in Remus' book. You could even hear Sirius asking questions about the plot. You turned away; James was still in the pool, in the same place, trying to make out the meaning of what happened. 

It wasn't fair. 

Life wasn't fair. 

<3

stay tuned for the next part and lmk what you think❤️

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