#sir y r u so white

[nyckie]

Pretty fly for a white guy why is this slug so WHITE do they shed their skin and turn white sometimes like other bugs??

[rumplereids]

shining light.

tags: spencer reid x fem!reader. dad!spencer reid. reader goes into early labor. childbirth complications, but nothing explicit or detailed. GIRL DAD SPENCER REID! a/n: girl dad spencer reid brain rot. im so consumed by thoughts of him that i havent edited this yet (i havent edited kiss kiss and wonderstruck yet either lol) i hope u like this as much as i liked writing it :) masterlist. requests are open !

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hello?”

“Hello, are you okay?”

“My mommy is in a lot of hurt,” a child sniffles from the other side of the line, “And dadda is away at work.”

“Oh, honey. How did your mommy get hurt?”

“She was in the ki-chen and I was reading. And then I think she fell.”

“Is your mommy with you? Is she awake?”

“Yeah. But mommy is crying,” the little girl’s voice turns faint, like she’s speaking away from the phone, “Mommy! Are you okay? Is bubba okay?!”

There’s an indistinct voice that answers back.

“Honey? Are you there? What’s your name?”

“I’m Ellie Reid. My dadda is Spencer. He works with aunt Penny and aunt JJ at ‘quanico’ to catch bad guys.”

“Okay, Ellie. Who’s bubba?”

“The bubba in mommy’s tummy?”

“Your mommy has a baby in her tummy?”

“It’s a baby sister.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful, Ellie.”

“Are you on your way now?” the sweet voice asks.

“Yes, Ellie. The paramedics are at your door. Can you let them in?”

“Okay.”

Spencer rushes through the hallway, JJ and Emily just a few steps behind him. As soon as the plane landed, an agent alerted the unit to a 911 call made by Spencer’s daughter. Words unneeded, Derek got into an SUV, immediately and silently offering to drive Spencer to the hospital. JJ and Emily got into the SUV with him, worry filling the blonde, though Spencer doesn’t have the mind to think about the others. His mind is solely focused on you.

Are you in pain? All he knew was that Ellie was the one to call for help. Said you fell in the kitchen. Were you hurt? Was your baby hurt?

“Spencer!” Penelope was waiting for him as he turns a corner.

“Where is she? Is she okay?”

“Mommy’s okay, dadda.” Ellie peeps up from behind Penelope’s skirts.

“Oh, my angel,” Spencer falls to his knees, arms opening to take his daughter in his arms. “You did so well. You remembered the emergency number, huh?”

“You said to press 911 in our phone if anything bad happens. Mommy got a big hurt.”

“I know. You were so good,” he presses a kiss on her soft, curly hair. His hands are rubbing up and down Ellie’s back. Whether he was soothing his daughter or himself didn’t matter.

“She’s in labor. Her contractions were bad bad. A nurse told me that the baby’s breeched.”

“Dadda, what does breech mean?” Ellie’s r’s still sounded like w’s, and Spencer’s heart completely melted.

He looks down at the little girl in his arms, her face still hidden against his chest.

“Do you remember the photo we showed you of bubba?”

“The weird black and white one?”

“Yeah,” he passes a hand against her hair, “A breech means that bubba’s standing up inside mommy’s belly. Not upside down how she’s supposed to be.”

“She’s so silly,” Ellie giggles. Spencer smiles back, he hears soft laughter from the three women surrounding them, “Yeah, bubba’s really silly.”

“Did she hurt mommy?”

“No, angel. She didn’t mean to.”

“Oh,” Ellie whispers. She looks up at her dad, “I knew you were gonna come.”

“Yeah? You did?”

“You’re a hero, of course you’re gonna save mommy when she’s hurt.”

Spencer wipes his thumb against his daughter’s soft cheek, “Of course. I’ll save you when you’re hurt too, Ellie-darling.”

“I know that,” she says matter-of-factly.

A nurse walks up to their group, “Are you the family of Y/N Reid?”

Spencer stands with Ellie on his hip, her little arms wrapped around his neck.

“Yes, I’m her husband.”

“Congratulations, sir. You have a healthy baby girl,” he feels the sigh of relief from everyone with him.

“How’s my wife?”

“How’s mommy?”

Spencer and Ellie were almost simultaneous in their concern for you.

“She’s fine. She’s sedated. The birth took a huge toll on her. You can enter her room, if you want.”

Derek finally arrives. He’s catching his breath from his run, his eyes meeting Spencer’s quickly before he exclaims, “Ellie-bean!”

“Uncle Derek!” Ellie wriggles in Spencer’s arms, he bends down to let her down.

Short legs run to her favorite uncle.

“We’re going to mommy and bubba now!”

Derek stands with Ellie in his arms. He looks to Spencer. “Yeah? Y/N’s okay?”

“We can visit her now,” JJ says with a small smile.

The group starts walking. On their way from the visitor’s lounge to your hospital room, Spencer overhears Ellie’s whispering; “Uncle Derek.”

“Yeah, Ellie-bean?” Derek whispers back.

“I want pretzels.”

“Salted? Cheese?”

“Um, salted. Please. And apple juice too.”

Spencer can’t fight the grin on his face.

“Alright, Ellie-bean. We’ll get pretzels and juice after we see your mom.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Derek shifts to bring Ellie higher against his hip.

“Pinky promise?”

“I pinky promise. On my badge and credentials.”

Ellie lets out a giggle, “Dadda!”

Spencer turns his head to give her a smile, “What’s up, angel?”

“What does cre-den-shals mean?”

Oh, his Eleanor. Always so bright.

taglist: @i-live-in-spite

[evilgwrl]

you're the person I send asks to the most so I have to entrust you with this one too because there's smth wrong with me. please just listen- PLEASE. and if not, maybe tag others that could write it instead? but you're dating price's son and end up breaking up with him cause he's too immature, but don't worry price can show you what a real man is- don't have to worry your pretty little head about a thing anymore.

UM HELLO? WHO R U AND HOW DO U HAVE RHE BEST IDEAS EVER? ILY?

His fingers were tantalising low, edging on the border of your panties as he sat you on the desk, plush thighs engraved into the wood. Your skirt was high, riding up your flesh with every passing second, a heavy blush working across your body as you averted your gaze, too focused on his thick fingers only just grazing your crotch, almost as if he was memorising the pattern of your panties.  

“Mr Price-“

“Sir. That’s what you used to call me, wasn’t it? When you were with my loser of a son?”

“Y-Yes, Sir.”

His digits were swift, pushing against the pudge of your heat, catching the hood of your clit through the fabric as a sultry groan found its way to your lips.

"Please-"

"Please, what?"

"Please do something, Sir."

You almost forgot to remember what pleasure felt like as your spine wracked against the table, crooked with every wicked lick your ex-boyfriend's Father laid against your cunt, his tongue slurping at your whining entrance with wanton.

It was a twisted sense of control he had over you, his beard drenched with juices as you rocked yourself against his moustache, the scratch against your thighs only adding to the desire that was building in the pit of your stomach. His tongue was lashing in between your folds, collecting your sweet nectar as though it was a prize, his teeth gently grazing against your throbbing bead.

The situation only fueled you as your hand gripped his hair, your hips bucking in desire as the forecast of your orgasm grew, soon bursting as your thighs shook, clutching the man's head between your thighs as he growled into your cunt. You were on fire, so over-worked and desperate that your ears began to ring, white-hot noise wracking your brain as your head clattered against the table below you.

The sound of the door opening only spurred you on, the familiar sound of your ex beginning a sentence sending a new wave of enjoyed sickness through you as your eyes looked back with a roll, taking in the shocked stature of the man you once knew.

[love-belle]

lo mein kayamat tak hua tera !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which everyone knows that they want each other, except for them and it's time that they change it.

or

for when you find out forever waala love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // f1 x platonic!reader // aditya roy kapur x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - this is for my desi f1 fans and desi f1 fans only ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by adityaroykapur, lilymhe, maxverstappen1 and 2,681,561 others

yourusername where is my munda kukkad kamaal da

11,986 comments

username the caption is so real like where u @

username SHE'S BACK IN INDIA LET'S GOOO

username Y'ALL PLEASE TELL ME U SAW HER IG STORY 😭😭

-> username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING

-> username not to mention aditya ALSO posted a girl on his story and she suspiciously looked like y/n ☝️☝️☝️☝️

-> username i'm going feral over this someone call the twitter detectives

username her being back in india means we shamelessly get adityay/n crumbs and im STARVING

username in love with u hello ma'am how r u real

username tere saath saath aisa koi noor aaya hai

-> yourusername don't test me i will cry and marry u on SPOT

username oh i am SO ready for the amount of content we're gonna get from her like winter break!y/n is actually my roman empire

username waiting for aditya and her to just be fucking oblivious in the comments 🙄☝️

landonorris giggling

-> yourusername i will giggle ur ass CHUP ( shut )

-> username 😭😭😭 please free my boy he has done nothing wrong

username 4ever giggling at the fact that aditya was the first person y/n hugged after her podium and they ALMOST kissed like 😭😭

-> username my roman empire fr like i genuinely felt like i was intruding on something

username no one understands her like i do we're the same people and i will make friendship bracelets by braiding our intestines together

-> username i am sorry was that extreme

-> yourusername a bit but i like your commitment

username daniel i expect u to give us updates EVERY HOUR i need to know if these bitches are hopeful or hopeless

danielricciardo i hope you know that adi is currently contemplating what to write and giggling

-> yourusername OH !

-> adityaroykapur this is why i said no to you being in a bollywood film

-> username PLEASE OMG 😭

username i love the fact that so many drivers accompany y/n to india simply bc 1) they want to annoy her 2) they want to annoy aditya 3) they want to star in a bollywood movie so BAD

-> username they're pure of dumbasses your honour

username f1 grid in india where the FUCK is my indian gp ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username howling bc girlie would have her munda kukkad kamaal da if she just became more social

-> yourusername i do not appreciate being called out like this excuse u

username cannot wait for y/n to bully the entire grid into wearing traditionals 🤞🤞🤞

adityaroykapur i love taking pictures of you 💗

adityaroykapur wdym someone prettier than yourusername exists

adityaroykapur wdym i can't keep staring at her posts forever

-> username DUDE GET UP 😭😭😭

adityaroykapur you look leng in a lehenga

-> yourusername thank u :))

-> sidmalhotra actually there's no "leng" in "lehenga"

-> adityaroykapur 😐😐

-> username someone lock away sid PLEASE

-> username my biggest concern is who the fuck taught aditya what leng means 😭😭😭

-> username my bet's on lando ☝️☝️☝️

adityaroykapur glad you liked the jhumkas ❤️

-> yourusername wore them the entire day ❤️

-> username and i'm gone

adityaroykapur chand theri roshni ka halka sa ek saya hai ( the moon is just a slivery shadow of your light )

-> yourusername hayeeee

-> charles_leclerc DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE

-> username omg

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, vickykaushal09, lewishamilton and 2,416,899 others

adityaroykapur black and white

10,729 comments

username i know who he did this for

username oh

username screaming sir why are u so

username OH MY GOD

username he posted this for y/n and y/n only y'all go home

username one chance ☝️☝️☝️

lewishamilton target audience reached 👍

-> adityaroykapur i owe you one 👍

-> username howling at this interaction

username i know that he got this idea off someone from the grid and i know exactly who he exactly got this from

-> username your case here 🎤🎤🎤 georgerussell63

-> username LMAO 😭😭

username giggling oh my god

username PLEASE I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH

georgerussell63 plagiarism

-> adityaroykapur you told me to post this ???

username screeching no one's doing it like him

username i love how his acc is just promos and stuff and then this thirst trap for y/n and y/n only likee

-> username my man's dedicated idgaf

username cannot wait to witness y/n have a mental breakdown in the comments over this 😭😭😭😭

sidmalhotra as y/n says "what's the square root of 64"

-> adityaroykapur 8

-> kiaraaliaadvani ATE !!!!!!!

-> username i love stupid men and their chronically offline selves

sidmalhotra this why you had to go to the beach itni subha ( early morning )

-> adityaroykapur i brought you breakfast chup ( shut )

-> username soulmates 🤞🤞🤞

usernsme live love laugh aditya roy kapur

yourusername woah

-> adityaroykapur thank you ???

yourusername you're sooooooo

-> adityaroykapur ???

-> yourusername hey bhagwan ( oh god )

yourusername be my munda kukkad kamaal da ???

-> adityaroykapur is this your way of asking me out

-> yourusername idk is it working

-> adityaroykapur absolutely, i'll see you at 7 meri jaan ❤️ ( my life )

-> maxverstappen1 what just happened

-> landonorris did they just

-> pierregasly oh my god

-> charles_leclerc it was that easy ?

-> georgerussell63 we just had to get him to post shirtless pictures. wow.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

yourusername added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

adityaroykapur added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by adityaroykapur, landonorris, kiaraaliaadvani and 2,528,915 others

yourusername he's my sataaye manaaye rulaaye hassaye all in one ( i don't know how to explain it, these are lyrics from a song "maahi ve" and basically it says that he troubles her, makes it up to her, makes her cry and makes her laugh, so like all in one )

tagged adityaroykapur

13,628 comments

username SCREECHING OH MY GOD

username im cryint i love tjem os mucj

username OHFJJSAJSJHHSS THIS IS INSANE I TELL U

username i prayed for this

username no bc i KNEW it the stories gave you AWAY y'all are not SLICK

username i saw them ask each other out that's crazy to think about actually

landonorris still mad i wasn't notified in advance

-> yourusername stay mad

-> landonorris you don't GET it i had to find out through COMMENTS

username in love with them oh my god

username they're my roman empire ur honour

username oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭

username the maahi ve reference imma SCREAM

username the way they're literally the it couple oh my god

sidmalhotra finally ‼️‼️‼️

-> yourusername no thanks to u

-> sidmalhotra badtameez ( disrespectful )

kiaraaliaadvani don't listen to sid, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES FOR YOU BOTH TO GET TOGETHER OMGGGGG

-> yourusername KI I LOVE U SO MUCH WE CAN FINALLY GO ON DOUBLE DATES LIKE WE PLANNED ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username sid and aditya on a double date obviously with kiara and y/n

-> username need to see this happen immediately for mental health purposes

username everyday i wake up and see some shit like this. why does the universe hate me

username i wish y'all blocked me before posting this (IM SO HAPPY FOR U OH MY GOD)

username me preparing to spot aditya at EVERY gp this year bc i know my boy is not strong enough to leave y/n for more than 27 mins

maxverstappen1 he breaks your heart, i'll nail gun his.

-> yourusername alright edge lord no more wednesday for u

-> username CRYING 😭😭😭

username im so HAPPY y'all don't GET it i've been waiting for this for YEARS

username i screeched and my baby cousin woke up y'all im NOT playing around

username since no one's gonna ask the important question here I WILL

-> username what the story behind aditya and the jhadu photo ( broom )

-> yourusername he was trying to make a point and said that if acting doesn't work out he can start a cleaning service

-> adityaroykapur gaadi waala aaya ghar se kachara nikaal

-> yourusername no we cannot get rid of lando and charles

-> landonorris fuck you

-> username NO BC WHY ARE THEY CATCHING STRAYS AT EVERY POINT

adityaroykapur PRETTY word is real and it belongs to her and her only

adityaroykapur a living angel

adityaroykapur making my pupils dilate

adityaroykapur prettiest 💗💗💗

adityaroykapur my phone just did a backflip

-> username lord when will it be me

adityaroykapur i have NEVER made you cry

-> yourusername false u called me a daayan yesterday when i had my hair down ( witch )

-> adityaroykapur BECAUSE YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE

-> yourusername WOOOOOOOW.

adityaroykapur we're cute together or whatever 🥰

-> yourusername whatever 🤨

-> adityaroykapur we're cute together 🥰 ****

-> yourusername perfect 🤞

adityaroykapur all i'm saying is, it would be a GOOD cleaning service

-> yourusername never quit your day job we'd go broke so FAST 😞

-> adityaroykapur what happened to "sheesh mahal na mujhko suhaye tujh sang sooki roti bhaaye" ( basically the hindi version of "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings" )

-> yourusername that's very rich coming from u considering ur roti looks like a different country every time

-> adityaroykapur wow.

username in love u don't get me

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, sidmalhotra, lewishamilton and 2,368,257 others

adityaroykapur i promise to take photos of you forever if it means i get to be by your side. lo mein kayamat tak hua tera ( i'm yours till the end of the world )

tagged yourusername

13,178 others

username im crying btw

username GOING FERAL OVER THE CAPTION WHAT THEBFUCK KK

username i audibly gasped i want what they have ‼️‼️‼️‼️

username THEY'RE MY PARENTS EVERYONE SHUT UP

username taylor swift writes songs about them btw

-> username ARIJIT SINGH writes songs about them more like 😭😭

username forever cackling bc sis really asked him out in the comments section

-> landonorris she got no game 😞❌

-> yourusername still pulled a bitch before u

-> landonorris she called you a BITCH adityaroykapur

-> yourusername WATCH UR BACK AT TURN 1 IN BAHRAIN I WILL ANNIHILATE U

-> adityaroykapur ...

username crying bc we're gonna get aditya at EVERY gp like im not even wrong bc that man's down BAD for her

-> username simply existing gf 🤝 obsessed bf

username god i see how kind u have to others

username alright y'all time to hug a tree 362 kmph

username O MAAHI LYRICS I AM DEAD I AM GONE I AM DECEASED I AM DECOMPOSING I AM SIX FEET UNDER

sidmalhotra happy for you both 🙄🙄🙄

-> sidmalhotra 🥰🥰🥰*****

-> yourusername stay mad bc i stole ur bf ☝️🙄

-> adityaroykapur did i unintentionally start another fight ⁉️

sidmalhotra finally no more talks about how much you want her 🥳🥳🥳

-> adityaroykapur that was CONFIDENTIAL

-> yourusername tell me more ☺️ sidmalhotra

username AND WE ALL CHEERED FINALLLLY

username the it couple of bollywood AND f1 i said what i said

username need me a guy who will post me like this or wtv 🙄🙄🙄🙄

yourusername bold of u to assume i'm leaving after the world ends 😕

-> adityaroykapur we'll haunt sid together 🤝

-> yourusername OMGGGGG YES

-> sidmalhotra MEINE KYA KIYA ( what did i do )

yourusername why do u always catch me off guard i look so bad 😭

-> adityaroykapur jhoothi you look perfect ❤️ ( liar )

yourusername i love u

-> adityaroykapur i love you so much more

-> oscarpiastri we get it MOVE ON

-> yourusername 😐😐😐

-> username LMAOOOOO

username i'm in awe WE'RE FINALLY HERE PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[svts-things]

Best friend?

Hoshi × femreader

Warnings:cheek kiss,light smacking,cursing

It was summer time.

You woke up got ready for your college wearing the uniform which was a white shirt with a gray skirt and a gray vest. You didn't bothered to wear the blazer and a leggings as it was hot. You wore your shoes,checked your bag and went downstairs to greet your mom.

"Good morning mom"you said

"Good morning baby.Come sit here and have your breakfast."

You had your breakfast and when you were done you gave your mom a kiss on her cheek and went out.

You were waiting for you bestie

"Hey y/n-ah!"

You looked ahead and saw soonyoung,ur bestie. You guys were in your first year but knew each other since when? Since diapers.

"Hey soonyoung-ah!"you replied back with the same energy.

"We are gonna get the test papers today"he said as u guys started walking

"Oh right hope we pass"u said

"Pass?damn u always score good ok being in top 10 of our class.....always"

"Not always tho"

"Yeah sure~"he said while pulling a face which made u smack him on his back

He stopped and smacked u lightly on ur head.

You lightly spanked his butt and ran away while laughing

"Yaaaaa u pervert!!!"he said while chasing you

You guys reached ur college and went to the class. Yes you guys were in the same class and bench mates too.

Soon the homeroom teacher came and started distributing the test papers.

He was a very kind teacher and always understood the children very well

"I'll be writing the correct options on the board so that u guys can check your papers and let me know if I made any mistake while checking" he said as he started writing on the board.

"How much did u get babe?" Soonyoung asked you

"45/50"

"Damn...I got 39"

"Not bad sweetie"you said gvg him a smile

Your friendship was platonic bur over the years u started hvg feelings for him but u couldn't tell abt it to anyone or confess it to him as u didn't know about his feelings.

While checking the paper you saw one of your answers were correct but sir had marked it wrong. You stood up and went to him.

"Yes y/n?"he asked politely

"Sir my answer is correct yet you have given it a cross"

"Oh show me pls"

"Y/N pls move aside a bit" said one of you classmates as you were blocking the board. You went to side which made it a bit difficult to peep in ur paper so u leaned on the desk .

This made an access to your back of ur upper thighs to be on a show.

Hoshi was waiting for u but saw the students who were passing by in the hallway looking at u strangely

Some boys also smirking and halting while looking at u.

He moved a bit and saw the situation.

He got up and went behind you covering your legs.

He pulled u back by ur arms

"Stand straight"he whispered in ur ears in a strict tone

You did as u were told to do

He glared at the boys in the hallway which made them go away

"Here I'm sorry"ur sir said handing u the paper.

"Oh it's alright sir no need to apologize" u said taking the paper.

"Oh soonyoung? Where is ur paper?"he asked him

"Oh no sir I just came to gv y/n a company u know best friend things"he said smiling sheepishly

Ur sir chuckled and said you guys to go back

It was break time and u guys went to the roof top. It was usual for u two to hv ur lunch on rooftop.

"What was it abt in the class down there?"

U asked as soon as u guys settled on a bench on the roof top

"Your skirt is too short buy a new one this one was only able to cover ur butt"he said while eating.

"Wtf"u said looking at him

"What?"he asked looking at u

"Why were u looking at my legs huh u pervert "

He scoffed leaning closer

"It wasn't me but some random boys who were enjoying the view" he said looking into ur eyes while forming a fist

"Why you getting so worked up tho"u just wanted to tease him a bit but u were grateful that he protected u from nasty stares

"Coz I love you" he said

"Huh?"

"Dumbass"he said and went towards the railing looking at the view

"No u r a dumbfuck" u spat back going beside him

He just smiled

"Since when?" U asked

"I guess Since 5-6 years ago"

U looked at him with wide eyes

"What about u?since when did u start loving me?"he asked u

"How r u so sure?"u asked

"I just know..but if u don't I'll make u fall for me"

"Well since 3 years"u answered

He chuckled "I won"

"Lol"u said chuckling back

You guys stood there enjoying the view

"Well then..."he said looking at you

"We date?"u asked

He nodded smiling

You went closer to him and gave him a smooch on his cheek holding his shoulders for support

He had a toothy grin when you pulled back making u frown

"I thought u would be disgusted"u said

"No not at all"he said

He leaned towards your face holding your waist and u closed ur eyes when his lips were close to urs

"Buy a new skirt I don't want anyone to see what's mine"he said backing away

"Heyyy"u whined.

He laughed

"This size is perfect for me coz a bigger size might be longer in length but bigger for my waist"

"You are tall so stich one accordingly "he said

The bell was about to ring

"Lesssgooo baby girl" he said smacking ur butt lightly and running away"

"Yaaaaa"you ran behind him

Your tiffins forgotten on the bench

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

@mythicalmagical-monkeyman asked me 4 my LMK headcanons & I have SO many it’s insane (most r 6EM bcz I have yet 2 stop hyperfixating on him in specific)

Six-Eared Macaque Headcanons:

I love the headcanon that he either used to have white fur or he glamours it away.

My headcanon for his “birth” is an amalgamation of several others I’ve seen (I forget their tags). Basically a piece of the moon broke off and hit the ground, the big ass flash caused a shit ton of shadows (hence shadow powers). The wind formed a mini hurricane around the moon-rock-egg and broke it, which is why 6EM can hear the wind.

6EM glamours a lot, everytime he dislikes something he glamours it away. This led to him hating how his glamored self looks (bcz it looks nun like him), but also hating how his unglamored self looks (bcz bad memories & imperfections & shit).

The shadows are semi-sentient, they’re also very picky with who they “serve” but extremely loyal. (Kinda like a dog.)

Rumble and Savage were 6EM’s first clones. (Their more sentient/have their own kinda personality bcz his 1st time w/ clones was a lot like MK’s.)

6EM & Chang’e are besties.

DBK introduced PIF 2 them all & PIF gave this guy 1 look & went “uhm, excuse me sir, but what r u doing here w/ these bozos?🤨 ur 2 smart 4 this, now come forward let us bond 😌”

The classic his ears are colored & they glow.

Purple blush.

He had to learn to cook bcz ✨homeless✨, but he sucks @ cooking so he learned, like, 2 dishes & cooked them until he perfected it.

Trans

Autistic

Was great w/ kids when he was younger and still is but he’s more awkward w/ them now (besties insecure, think he’ll taint them or sumthing emo like that🙄. CAN’T BELIEVE THE HEADCANON THAT THE FFM MONKIES LUV HIM IS CANON NOW)

I have an entire headcanon for his backstory (b4 he met SWK) but that’s,, long💀

Non-prehensile tail

Sun Wukong:

Gold blush.

Trans (THEYRE ALL SO TRANS CODED 2 ME OK??)

ADHD haver and probably autistic as well (no 1 in that show is neurotypical, u can’t convince me they r)

Wasn’t good w/ kids when he was younger but he’s great w/ them now

His fur used to be a gold color but it turned more brown after the mountain (permanently stained)

He’s extremely dense, not stupid. He’s also v selective w/ his knowledge (if he wants 2 know sum there won’t b a single piece of info he doesn’t learn, if he doesn’t want 2 know sum then he won’t know shit abt it)

He loves dresses, rarely wears them bcz he prefers his armor but he loves dresses

Headcanon that the armor he wears all the time is a comfort object & thats y it’s almost always on

The classic “can’t drink/eat hot shit” & red eyes come out when angry/flustered/ect

Will fight Erlang on sight. Literally won’t even listen 2 a word any1 says, it’s all over if he even catches a glance of this mf (Bonus: 6EM totally would 2 but he’s actually scared of Erlang, burning alive will do that 2 u)

He can sew & loves 2 do embroidery & shit

Others:

Sandy sumtimes acts like a mad scientist while making tea & Mei will join him

Nezha & 6EM bond thru the power of Mo & loving cats (also bcz 6EM destroyed the sea palace💀)

Red Son has vitiligo (BCZ COW SPOTS & I THINK IT WOULD B SO CUTE AND AND)

MK is trans (“ur making so many ppl trans-“ SHUT)

Nezha thinks gender is a scam but is fine w/ any pronouns, mainly uses he/him tho

Red Son is gender fluid (CANT BELIEVE THIS IS CANON, CRAZY BRO)

Ao Lie is a Demi-boy

Speed running through sexuality headcanons: SWK = panromantic/demisexual, 6EM bisexual/demiromantic, MK & Mei r both bisexual, Red Son is unlabeled, Tang is MLM & Pigsy is homoromantic but bisexual, Sandy is AroAce and Mo is Mo

Extra is Spider Queen being pansexual but aromantic, Scorpion Queen being AroAce (they’re in a QPR), the mayor being LBDromantic/j (guys prolly AroAce actually) (that’s all I have rn I think)

[sagstelliums]

(Top to bottom) what Disney villain are you?

Pile 1

I see that you’re not really a villain but if u had to be then you would be the pet of a villain like Lucifer the black and white cat from Cinderella or sir Hiss from Robin Hood, you are someone who’s honest and you aren’t afraid to be authentically you whether that’s good or bad. Sometimes your honesty cause problems but you do it because you like balance and you don’t like liars, you love hard and stick it out in tough times for the people u love, you’re fun to around and you’re generous. You take your time and you’re patient, you’re possessive over the things you love. Angel number 567/2244/234. Signs- libra,Aquarius, cancer. Initials- T, R, Z, V, H

Pile 2

I see that you’re like chernabog from fantasia or Scar from lion king or even cruella, I see that if you’re a villain that you would feel completely just for being evil. I see that when the time comes for you to give someone karma or act out u have no problem being a asshole to the max, you’re actually a very good friend, nurturing, generous and you love to laugh or have fun. You’re very strategical, smart and patient. You wait for your right time to strike like you kind of stalk ur prey, I see that you make people regret messing with u. Signs- Aquarius, Scorpio, sagittarius. Initials- B, W, I, U

Pile 3

I see that you would be Jafar from Aladdin, I see that you’re someone who’s very influential and you can make any situation go you’re way. I se that you’re good at manifesting, I also see that you love ur family or youre very defensive over your home and family. I see that you’re very stable and a great catch so people always regret fumbling u, I see that you’re great at arguing or fighting and you make people feel stuck when u tell them about themselves or when u leave their life. You’re detached and great at accepting change, angel number 111/123. Signs- Taurus, Scorpio, Sagittarius. Initials- X, J, K, Y

Pile 4

I see that you could be Jafar, the evil queen from Snow White or the evil mother from Cinderella. I see that of you were evil you would always have help because you have a good reason for not liking the people you do and usually multiple people don’t like the person either, you’re someone with a lot of passion and potential. I see that you work with karma or karma favors you a lot, I see that you’re usually karma for a lot of people. I see that you’re very attractive and alluring, you may be a good manipulator and you know how to use ur looks to ur advantage or you have pretty privilege, you have very strong feminine energy and a good intuition. Angel number 1111/231. Signs- libra/Pisces, Initials- K, U, W

Personal readings always available, please watch my 18+ pick a card reading

[cosmic-ships]

Had a dream about Anakin— he was being all cute and playful (Thanks to me seeing the two gifs undercut I think my brain was like ouh playful silly Anakin tho)

We were joking around and I off handedly said "Yeah, you're amazing with a lightsaber but without one? I could take ya!" I of course was kidding because this man is strong as hell.

He grins and goes "oh really? Well then I accept your challenge." And albeit very very hot, he motioned me over in a come hither with his finger while smiling. "Come here angel~"

I scoff and say "I'm not actually going to fight you, I was kidding!"

Anakin, not wanting to let it go looks to his side, he sees my journal laying on my night stand and grabs it, that gets me moving

"There we go~ get the journal from me and I'll declare you the winner!"

We ended up play fighting, till he manages to pin me down, he's long since tossed the journal away...

"Alright you win let me go now~!"

He grins and shakes his head "now why would I ever want to do that?"

He leans down, our noses are practically touching.

I can't contain my smile (or my ever darkening blush that's spreading across my face) "Because I said so?"

"You didn't say please~" he closes the little distance that was left and kisses me.

W O K E UP V E R Y F L U S T E R E D

Gifs in question that I have not been able to stop looking at. Sir you're actually taking up my entire brain. Stop it! /lh (we are NOT going to even BEGIN to talk about that black and white gif mnnopeeee)

So smiley~! So cute~! ♡ GRAH!

[firstprince-history-huh]

URL Song Titles!

Tagged by @paperstorm @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad ❤💕

Rules: Spell your url with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters.

F- Fruit (Red White & Royal Blue Version) by Oliver Sim

I- In My Veins by Andrew Belle

R- Ready To Run by One Direction

S- Steal My Girl by One Direction

T- Thats What I Want by Lil Nas X

P- Precious Love by James Morrison as sung by The Jazzagals in Schitt's Creek

R- Runnin' Home To You by Grant Gustin

I- If I Could Fly by One Direction

N- No Control by One Direction

C- Cool by Jonas Brothers

E- Emptiness/Tune Mere Jaana by Gajendra Verma

H- History by One Direction

I- I Want by One Direction

S- Simply The Best by Tina Turner as sung by Noah Reid in Schitt's Creek

T- The Night We Met by Lord Huron

O- One Thing by One Direction

R- Run Away With Me by Carly Rae Jepsen

Y- Your Song by Sir Elton John

H- How To Save A Life by The Fray

U- Underwater by Nights in Stereo

H- Hold On by Chord Overstreet

This was so much harder than I thought! For some of these I had multiple options to choose from & for some I simply could not think of an option until I went & opened my playlists on my phone & on Spotify!

I am late to doing this, so not sure who hasn't done this yet. No pressure tagging:

@just-inside-her @jordanshenessy @fangirlingintellectual @fangirl-paba @sanjuwrites @ladytessa74 @detective-giggles @kiloskywalker @goodways @beautifulhigh @rmd-writes @first-kanaphan @welcometololaland & anyone who wants to do it!

[starlightkun]

https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1706302164061262004?s=19

ASS HOLE KUN? KUN WITH ASS HOLE JEANS?! LOWER ASS CHEEK?!

i do think holes in jeans like right below the ass cheeks is really cute (especially on girls 🫣🤪) and thats what i thought this was gonna be cause i read the tweet before looking at the images but the way people are like SIR WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES when its just the back of his thigh is really funny to me. the gentle teasing reminds me of marks "not-ripped" white pants as well lmao

also NO we are not tired of the stargazing dates they're so romantic and sweet and genuine i feel very strongly about this

also i do agree now thinking about it that dryad hyuck would be so tired after strawbs sunday woo and pupsick jeno AND tdhea jisung that the moment y/n or sungchan even TRY pretending to be oblivious hyuck is pulling out a gun

also “there’s so little literature on half-werewolves, it’s a fascinating opportunity to get hands-on experience and research— hey taro why are you running away i haven’t even told you about my thesis question yet” has me CACKLING omg. theres so many opportunities with mcs student characters and their magic s/os for them to have the most uncomfortable conversations about their s/os "anatomy😏😏😏" under the guise of education with their friends. or for like drmagic, i just thought of renjun straight up sniffing reader to see if he can smell any salt or fishiness (like when renjun sniffed jeno and asked if he put on a new cologne and jeno went "its the scent of my flesh" or that other time renjun sniffed hyuck and asked if he had samgyeopsal) and reader being really fucking offended by it (cause rival dynamics yaknow) and slapping him for girlboss reasons

im also really excited for phantasmagorical now that youve been hyping it up! no hurry of course but i didnt know what to expect from the short description in your masterlist. that and the fact that ive buried myself face first into the strawbs sunday universe for the past 2 months

im so glad i made you laugh with my loserboy sungchan impression! i hope you're having a good day lovely!!!!!

-✨anon

not my mans whorin himself out out here and then being offended when we notice 😭😭 like bestie what did you expect when u posed like that in those pants and posted it for NCTZENS(WEISHENNIES). also my eye is twitching rn btw . having a not fine and so unchill time in my office at work currently looking at this pic. u send this to me and expect me to??? send emails after this??????

also ur "especially on girls 🤪" a fellow women enjoyer i see 😌💅

n there's somethin abt stargazing dates that just get me ok 🤧 like wanting to share the universe w someone 🤧🤧 makes me bawl like a baby idk what to say 🤧🤧🤧

and not renjun just sniffing all of his friends constantly 😭😭 he keeps track of the lunar cycle in his phone for jeno but one day pupsick mc is out of town so jeno was seeking out head scratches from other sources n renjun gets a sniff in and is like???? ur woodsy already?? but the full moon isnt for another week? and jeno is like "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK GET OFF ME" (in reality jeno was laying on renjun's lap but yknow) but rlly jeno was just angsty from missing pupsick mc so it was moving his pre-shift up (pupsick mc comes back in a couple days so the guys dont have to deal w a pupsick jeno again, thank god)

strawbsunday universe renjun confirmed weirdo but nobody is surprised. also. he would kind of be into it if dr.magic reader slapped him im not sorry that IS canon

and i DO need to update that description of phantasmagorical on my mlist now that i've got a better handle on the plot than before lmao

im having a great day, i hope u r too b <33

[astraves]

Fresh as Your Wound

Bleed on a bench among bright lights and warm colors.

The heart, ran through the hook of a crescent moon, beats deafening still.

The body slumped is draped sweetly in season’s blooms in offering to gods of sun and summer, pose poetic, nigh-ebon flesh framed in a writhing dark that only grants embellishment to dread gloom and bright gloam alike.

You won’t die. 

But you did this to yourself.

Devils sit beside you, crushing the signs of an apparition between needle fangs and lashing tongues. First the food, then the paper, fresh as they’ve gone. Fresh as...

The larger takes the wine and guzzles it, the smaller eats the cork.

Together they grind the glass and bleed from their mouths to send it down to sustain their wretched engines, burning hot like the weeping hearts of all those stars above.

They unveiled as you spoke to your fleeting ghost, haunted in turn by hers. And you sat so, and spoke so. Comfortably, easily, openly.

To an equal, in all the ways equivalence matters. True to self.

You’ve probably been replaced and forgotten ten times over.

You left, after all, and it’s been five long, long years.

Bodies never had to match, you realized. Eyes filled with wonder, and she made you feel like God, and you aspired to live that feeling.

Even then, you could always be real around this one, and she ate you up.

She’s where you got the idea for your house, after all.

You still remember the way to flick your tongue and make her leg twitch.

Maybe she recalls the tricks she did with her own?

You did this to yourself.

Consigned yourself to nightmares to banish hers. Sharp teeth that graze and tug, s m o o t h p a s s e s o v e r t h e l o n g - s t a n d i n g a c h e s a n d f i n a l l y s o m e t h i n g s h e s a y s s h e c o u l d s i n k h e r m o l a r s i n t o

“अमेध्य!”

The imps, eating the broken wine bottle and supping at the drops and tiny pools of wine still resting in the curved shards paused with a start and looked up, wide-eyed and fearful.

That was bad -

Eat, one said. He did say eat.

- And he never told us when to stop, no.

Volseth’s eyes narrowed to white slivers against the gloom beneath his brow and the lowering night in Silvermoon. At his bellowed curse, one of the city guards stopped in her route and gave the man a worried, sidelong glance.

He ignored the guard and looked between his feasting demons, hands raised in frustration. 

“Why in hell did you let me do that!?”

“...do wot?” Zaraat asked.

“Was we ta stop ya?” the other Zaraat asked as glass crunched at its back teeth.

The guard came up then, polite and professional, leaning on her twinblade like a quarterstaff with her shield lowered. “Sir?”

Astraves sighed and ran a hand down his face, fingers threading into his beard as he looked to the stars overhead for guidance, grace, or a timely end.

“I gave something away,” he mused quietly.

Magic enveloped the flagstones around his feet at first, quickly spreading into a grim rune of dancing conflicts - arcane and shadow, fel and fire, hues scintillating in all of their confused winds.

“Are you looking to report a theft-”

She grimaced and clenched her eyes as the power about the ground engulfed him in a flash. He was gone. All that remained were the imps, leering up at her as they fetched stray bits of glass from the ground.

“Gotsta keeps it clean,” the smaller hummed.

“Tidy tidy for the mastuuuuuuuuuuh,” the taller sang back. The guard took a step back from the imps and raised her shield as they began to eat the shards and stare at her. Their fangs weren’t meant for the work, and their mouths pulled wide and bled black into the road, their fel ichor sizzling and discorporating as soon as it met the earth. “By the Sun,” she started, and as soon as she raised her blade, one imp did a backflip and vanished, joined by the other.

This wasn’t about the madak he parted with.

Something with that potency was about all that could patch the gaping hole torn open between his ribs.

[lookingforhappy]

dont be sorry i love seeing things like this. makes me feel/act less like an idiot 😛 (at least a little bit anyways)

and yeah, i've come around to the irish five hc - still not happy that its blindly accepted as canon - but i'm okay with it. it's cool. i'll use it.

& yeah it was a bit childish to be like "hurr durr Efa's name is Welsh not Irish" as if names dont cross borders??

idk i just wanted a talking point & this was the simplest. childish, but simple. & i apologise for that.

HOWEVER

i fucking hate the suitcases. Mr King, with respect, wtf r u on about mate.

i dunno just hear me out i'll explain why this is so shit (if its considered canon).

TL;DR at the end.

FIRSTLY,

too. many. capital. cities. was the Marigold so uncreative that it picked the capital city of every country it could get its hands on??

Stockholm, capital of Sweden

Mexico?? no city given

Cape Town, one of 3 capital cities of South Africa, seat of the Parliament of South Africa

Pennsylvania, not a capital city but the only mother that we get any depth for. and the amish dont have capital cities to my knowledge.

Dublin, capital of Ireland

Seoul, capital of South Korea

Moscow, capital of Russia

SECONDLY,

r we serious abt making the minorities all come from their ethnic roots? the asian guy was born in korea, the latino guy was born in mexico, the black woman was born in africa, the white guys were from europe & the us.

r we serious? do we know that not everyone is born in the same country as their parents/ancestors??

u dont have to be black to be born in africa. u dont have to be white to be born in the u.s.

throw us a curveball, lets get creative. hell maybe five was born in africa that would be fun, maybe luther was born in south america. maybe allison is australian or american or european.

idk this just feels really shallow. white people from white countries & poc from poc countries.

the only one who breaks this pattern is lila & likely only bc her actress is british.

i... dont have anything else to say. i just think we can do better than this.

THIRDLY,

"WHich Of THesE THings Is NoT LikE The OtheRS"

🚨LILA'S SUITCASE IS WRONG🚨

this theory fundamentally DOES NOT WORK bc if this were all the kids' birthplaces then Lila would be German bc her suitcase says: Berlin.

"Locations of Birth" my ass good sir.

and worse, he acknowledged this and gave this wonderful insight:

SIR!! WHAT R U ON ABT!!! THIS IS A VALID QUESTION & U DONT HAVE AN ANSWER????????

just. jeffo my guy. dont spread false info.

but, anyway here's my theory as to what those stickers really mean, so,

FOURTH & FINALLY,

the suitcases are more likely a hint as to what was gonna happen in s3. these posters were released before s2 & were DESIGNED to engage with the audience & pique our interest in the season. if they truly were the birth locations for the umbrellas (which, they can't be, lila's doesn't match).

so:

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN.

this one is simple & my main evidence against the suitcase theory. its actually said, verbally, in the show itself:

idk man this just feels too on the nose. he has "stockholm syndrome" & he was born in stockholm?? too big of a coincidence.

i think the suitcase stickers were meant as hints for s3 & not as the birth locations. luther's relationship with sloane was a massive focus point this season. she literally kidnapped & held him hostage, this fits "stockholm syndrome" & it was 10x bigger than the mothers plot which was forgotten by the 5th ep.

also compared to the other stickers... hotel oblivion vs hotel obsidian. umbrellas vs sparrows. five & commission reveal.. the mothers had very little to do with this season.

im pretty convinced they only put the mothers in at all bc we wouldnt stop theorising abt them. this was kinda like their version of "here you go now shut up".

anyways,

MEXICO

no city given curiously. Diego embraces his latino roots this season, lots of spanish spoken by him & his ethnicity is actually mentioned this season yay! its crucial to his connection with allison, having both been targeted for their race during the 60s & fighting the racists in the bar etc etc.

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA

the civil rights movement was huge here. im not very well read on this subject but Nelson Mandela had a huge impact here, changing the government to humanely accommodate black people, end segregation etc

Allison's experience in the 60s had a huge impact on her this season. her ptsd rears its head, ray is gone, no one in her family (besides diego) appreciates how hard it was to exist as a black woman in 60s texas, everything shes struggling with is pushing her over the edge this season.

PENNSLYVANIA, USA

ok this one actually is abt the mothers but only bc Klaus actually cares abt the mothers (for 4 or 5 eps & no more). klaus drags five out to Pennsylvania to meet his mother & unlocks the kugelblitz plotline. revenge quest etc etc

DUBLIN, IRELAND

this one is a little tricky ill give you that. but consider. irish coffee. r u considering... the coffee. the coffee that has alcohol in it. the two main addictions of one five hargreeves... have u considered it? good. awesome. thats pretty much the extent of this one other than the irish (unfortunately) are known for their love of alcohol, which five drinks a fuckload of this season.

rotate an irish coffee in ur mind

MOSCOW, RUSSIA

vik has been associated with russia since s1. russian name (code name for a tsar bomb), presumed russian spy in s2, speaks russian. and yes admittedly born in moscow. that is confirmed.

honestly i dont have a very good arguement here but this is the exception not the rule.

BERLIN, GERMANY

say hello to the wrench in the suitcase theory. lila is british. enlgish. a londoner. not german.

lila goes to berlin. joins a rock band. steals a child. congratulations this is what this sticker means.

SO

jeff king. respectfully. wtf r u on abt m8.

idk was there even any communication between the prop department & the execs?? it doesnt feel like it.

the prop is the strongest piece of evidence to be fair. (tho there r issues with this, like the prop newspaper is very heavily american coded. calling the irish/celtic police "provincial police" & using a fake "county clark" and so forth)

but it doesnt confirm & thats mainly what im arguing here. that fanon goes too far with hc, declaring them canon despite the lack of evidence. idk im tired of the hivemind. i dont think i communicated it v well but that was my main gripe.

efa is unspecifified celtic & thats what im sticking to.

TL;DR

the suitcases, the origin of the dublin ireland theory, line up better as hints to s3 as whole rather than just the mothers countries.

anyone: Five is Irish! me, knowing that "Efa" is a Welsh name, and "Aoife" is the Irish variant:

[all-hail-the-witcher]

the absolute best quotes from bdylanhollis's vintage baking tiktoks

• "thought this was a joke. turns out im the joke."

• "you can use a mixer, i just do this to feel something"

• "fold in sauerkraut carefully. or what? im going to ruin your disaster?"

• "can a cake be tried for treason?"

• "either chocolate fixes everything or this is alchemy"

• *disgusted chewing noises* "DEMON BABY!!!"

• "before pumpkin pie became king people ate this....now they're dead."

• "combine all ingredients except for pie shell. were you rEALLY WORRIED I WAS GOING TO PUT A F U L L Y C O N S T R U C T E D PIE SHELL INTO THIS?"

• "im a fool, not an idiot."

• "its like reading directions to purgatory"

• "now we have carbonated mayonnaise lime water"

• "MARSHMALLOWS!! with the m a y o??"

• "chop up your dehydrated cow"

• "it tastes like it's insulting me"

• "and its not just a little bit. no. its a severe unauthorized CUP of mayonnaise."

• "honey you cant dilute a war crime"

• "you know its horrible now but i hope it turns out okay. like children."

• *beans boiling over in a pot* "ahhhhHH BEAN REBELLION!!"

• "eggie!! how many? i don't know. it just says EGGS."

• "did you just kill my blender?" *broken blender noises* "hello?" *insane maniacal laughter* "this is personal now. you swung first!!"

• "why are you good? yOU HAVE A BAG OF BEANS IN YOU!!"

• "one of the many questionable substances people experimented with in the 70s...pistachio pudding."

• "smells like a palm springs retirement home"

• "nixon wished it was this easy."

• "this was the cold war after all. fear of communist bananas was at an all time high."

• "the 70s. sponsored by the color beige."

• "its uncomfortably appetizing"

• "meat and desserts was quite common back then. so was botulism."

• "'honey would you like earl gray or pork?' 'ill take a divorce'"

• "sweet, bitter and meaty. like my ex."

• "don't say it dylan" *2 seconds later* "CIMMANIMM!!"

• "350 for two and a half hours! i suppose any less and it might gain consciousness."

• "its a little late in the century for war crimes."

• "are you just making things up? who are you??"

• *opening a can of spam* "you know ive never been particularly religious. but today might be the day."

• "a cup of evaporated milk?! have you lost the plot?!"

• "i feel like if i do this correctly im going to invoke the spirit of richard nixon"

• "this aint food honey this is a bioweapon"

• "sir your phone number is 4 digits"

• "well i don't have sorghum because i don't have a life expectancy of twelve"

• "thats the power of pine sol baby!"

• "bake to your liking. sweetie none of this is to my liking."

• "this is what id imagine a toilet brush to taste like"

• "this is why we don't perform lobotomies anymore."

• "should be a pale white." *holds butter up to arm for comparison*

• "i bet this recipe is just all the wrong answers on a baking test."

• "smells like dentures."

• "not bad dead people"

• "its incredible. and im mad about it."

• "sift your flour three times. lady your cake has tomato soup in it, this is thE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!!"

• "'911 whats your emergency?' 'yeah that lady carol is at the barbecue again.'"

• "careful not to over mix. sorry im just trying to kill it."

• "now i know this is going to be awful because it calls for soured milk. not buttermilk, not milk and vinegar, no honey sOURED B A D MILK!"

• "disgusting wasnt enough for you?!"

• "call the U.N."

• "bake until done. you're a piece of work."

• *plays accordion on his kitchen floor*

• "tastes like a shower drain or a bunion"

• "this recipe was sent to me by herbert hoover feet pics. theres something for everybody"

• "are you nine inches yet?? said 14 year old me."

• "i suppose its better than eating your offspring"

• "oh betty crocker WHAT ARE YOU UP TO??"

• "you could just use canned pineapple. if you were a communist."

• "can you bake a pie with four ingredients? yes! i could also eat my mattress."

• "add three gils of water. was this written for a fish?"

• "i think this qualifies as a preexisting condition"

• "unconstitutional!"

• "its a breast implant"

• *clunking from the cabinets* "i think ive summoned something"

• "it seems to have collapsed. like the south."

• "the slogan for this cookbook is 'it's digestible'"

• "remember kids the main ingredient in pie pastry is self doubt"

• "fry in two tablespoons of crisco. on this episode of dead white people."

• "i didnt know tuberculosis had a color scheme"

• "ive baked a toilet."

• "how am i supposed to know how big your teacups are, ira?"

• "why do dead people like dates?"

• "easy does it. wouldn't want to ruin a disaster."

• "'ira honey i'm going to war.' 'over what?' 'your cooking'"

• "tastes like a boot. like a size 10 boot."

• "why just live in the great depression when you could also have chronic diarrhea"

• "it wants me to plumpen my prunes in water. well i won't be plumping my prunes in just anything. buy me dinner first."

• "it looks like a failed grave robbery"

• "walnuts aint gonna save this recipe sweetie"

• "you know its not bad it just vaguely tastes like a felony."

• "'where you goin with that tuna dylan?' 'oh you know just making jello"

• "this recipe is making me cry, not the onions"

• "are we sure this recipe wasnt written by a cat?"

• "it already looks like the great depression"

• "bake in a moderate oven. no need to get political"

•"don't tell gordon ramsey"

• "it tastes like a question mark. but a good question mark"

[futuremrsreid]

Dangerous Fantasies [S.R.] - Chapter One

Masterlist

Summary: Y/N and Spencer are sent into a BDSM club for an undercover mission and y/n discovers something interesting about her coworker/ best friend.

Warnings: none

"This is gonna suck so hard", I said groaning, cringing at the outfit I'm wearing one last time.

"Looking good y/n", Morgan said, holding back a laugh. God, I hate him.

“You both ready?”, Hotch asked looking at Spencer and me as he walks into the office. Sure, Hotch totally ready to go undercover in a BDSM club, no big deal. 

“We are”, Spencer answered for me. 

We were currently on a Case in Boston where a serial killer is targeting young (y/ body type) women with (y/hair color) hair and (y/skin color). Which, of course, look just like me. Hence the undercover mission. Even tho I did not want to do this at all, there were women out there that are being brutally murdered so I didn't really have a choice did I? At least they let me pick which man I want to go undercover with me. Morgan was okay with doing it and even tho I like him very much, I knew I wouldn't feel as comfortable as I feel with spencer. We had been really close friends since I started working at the FBI. And to all our surprise, Spencer didn’t mind going.

The things we knew about the unsub currently are that he was a man in his 40s, white, fit and that he was choosing his victims in the local BDSM club. 

The team was going over the plan one last time before we all got in the cars, Spencer and me together in a normal car as to not raise any attention.

We go in, try to find the unsub, and when we do we go into one of the “playrooms” to inform the team. And then we wait till they arrest him. Sounded like an easy plan.

“Do you remember the rules”, Spencer asked, interrupting my thoughts. I groaned at the question.

“Unfortunately I do. 1st, always keep your head down. 2nd, do not speak until you are asked to and 3rd if you are asked to speak always address them as “sir”. I guess you're excited for me to call you that.” I rolled my eyes, already not feeling the degradation that was about to hit me. 

“You forgot one.”

“I did?”

“4th, never roll our eyes. Thats gonna get you in trouble.” I rolled my eyes at that again, looking over to him. That asshole was smirking. Little bitch.

“Yep, this is so gonna suck.” 

After a few more minutes we arrived at the club and it looked relatively normal. Inside Spencer told the man his fake name. We've had to put in a reservation beforehand because there was a show tonight.

After they found our reservation there was a man that's leading us to our seats. Spencer put a hand on my lower back while we followed him. On the way, I see something I really did not like. Every woman here, except the ones working, was kneeling at their dom's feet. 

"Spencer?", I whispered in his ear, trying to keep my head down so it would go unnoticed.

"What is it?", he asked, applying a little more pressure on my lower back for reassurance.

"I will not get on my knees." I saw him nod, affirming that he understood what I meant. I will not kneel like a dog in front of all these strange creepy men. I knew this was for a case and lives were at stake, but I just couldn't. The problem was, it’s kinda expected.

We reached our seats and I grew more and more nervous that I would have to do this nonetheless. Spencer sat down and, to my surprise, pulled me down with him so I was sitting on his lap. This earned us around a dozen stares. Maybe the extra attention is good. It might draw out the unsub faster.

I was grateful I didn’t have to get on the floor but my anxiety didn't get any better. In fact, it only got worse. Especially when I had several eyes on me. I was so on edge that I jumped a bit when I felt Spencer's hand on my thigh. I quickly looked at him and saw his concerned frown. His fingers were tracing patterns on my thigh and it took me a few seconds to realize they are letters and not random patterns. He was starting over again and I was finally able to make it out. R U OK

I was about to reply when the show started. The lights got darker and most people started focusing on the stage. I can’t even describe what was going on up there but I was hoping it would be over soon.

Spencer was still waiting for an answer, which he made clear by tightening his hand on my thigh. I gave him a quick nod, I didn’t dare to say anything. He looked away from me, scanning the room, but his hand remained on my thigh, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.

I know it was meant to calm me down and his hand was closer to my knee than anything else, but his touch made me even more nervous. Not the 'my life is currently in danger" nervous but the 'the man I've had a crush on since I met him is currently touching me in a way that passed the line of platonic" nervous.

The show had been over rather quickly, thank god, and the men either started to speak to some of the women or they took their sub to one of the rooms.

Spencer motioned for me to get up when a man stepped right in my line of sight.

"That’s a pretty little thing you have there. May I ask why she isn’t kneeling like she's supposed to?" The man’s voice was icy. I tried to get a good look without breaking my role. He fit the profile perfectly. Spencer’s grip on my back tightened, he probably noticed the same thing.

"I prefer having her close to me. And I wouldn't want her knees irritated before the real fun starts" before the real fun starts??? Well, he was oddly calm considering we were in a BDSM club and a serial killer was standing in front of us.

"Interesting", he looked me up and down, then he grinned and turned back to Spencer, "You mind if I take a turn?" I felt like i was going to throw up.

"Actually, I just wanted to go play with her." Spencer pushed me a bit so we can both stand up and attempted to walk me away when the man moved into our way, getting way closer to me than I'd like.

"It won't take long, I'll give her back to you in one piece." Liar, I would have been bound and gagged in the back of his car in less than 10 minutes

"Maybe when I am done with her", Spencer grabbed my arm and walked to one of the rooms, checking if it’s unoccupied before he pushed me inside.

I heared him talk to hotch, telling him who the unsub is, but I was far too focused on what just happened. This was all so terrible degrading but I wasn't able to help the excitement I felt when I heard Spencer say these things, his voice way darker than usual. And the way he had pushed me around, grabbed my thigh...

"Are you okay?", he interrupted my thoughts after he’s done talking to the others.

"Yeah, I'm fine", you could try to be a bit more convincing y/n... "How long do you think it will take for the others to arrest him?"

"10 minutes probably." He sat down on one of the sofas near the door. That was when I realized I didn't even look around the room yet. So I did and my eyes catched several things. What the hell even is all of this??

"So uh, BDSM huh?" I said, trying to be funny to ignore the very mixed feelings I had right now. I didn’t hear him react though, which made me look at him. He seemed way too relaxed considering we were in a fucking playroom. "How can you be so calm, Spencer." He didn’t immediately answer, which made me realize something. "Oh my god this is not your first time in a club like this is it?"

"What? Why would you say that?" The way his voice hitched made it very clear that I was right. And I was shocked. I had never thought he was a virgin or innocent, not like the rest of the team did, but this? I definitely did not expect that.

"You are way too calm for this to be your first time, Spencer." He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he knew I could tell when he was lying.

"Fine, you’re right." I wanted to say something but he didn’t give me a chance. "I've been to a few clubs before but it’s not my thing." Damn. Holy shit.

"But you tried it?" He just stared at me and I realized why. He was embarrassed. Maybe I had crossed a line.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer....And I’m not judging you, I just did not expect that."

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, especially Derek."

"I won't Spence, I promise... Though I would love to see his reaction when he finds out our seemingly innocent genius isn’t innocent at all." I laughed trying to lift the mood. But... I was interested now.

"Uh, sure."

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer though..." Great now I was getting nervous? Get yourself together y/n.

"You said it’s not your thing. What do you not like about it?" I really shouldn't have been asking this but I wasn't able to help myself and Spencer... he didn’t seem to mind questions considering he was still looking very calm. Or so I thought. He looked at me for a few seconds before sighing and shifting on the sofa.

“It is a bit too extreme for me sometimes. I don’t actually want to hurt someone.” He paused and just wanted to keep talking when his phone rang and Hotch told us it was done. “Come on let's get out of here.” And with that, he was getting up and opened the door for me.

Fine, Dr, Reid, but this conversation is not over…

[meltingpotimagines]

Husband!Hawks

this mans

is not husband material

but!

for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part

listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential

besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever

was very romantic when he proposed

managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero

decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals

considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy

set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food

sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works

and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating

or so he hoped

you wouldn’t say no right?

i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW

pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on

his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips

“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”

“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”

his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment

slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air

slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy

gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt

oh boy the wedding

when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding

but only those that were close to the two of you were invited

haha suckerrrs

somehow got all might to officiate

who knew all might could officiate weddings? 

certainly neither of you

no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so

he let you make all the decisions except for one

the flowers

he h a d to be involved in the flowers

he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied

teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)

not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too

just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each

i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me

dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement

best believe a few different cameras caught that

the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night

semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras

the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 

he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter

was it necessary? no

did it look good? heck yeah

the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses

tho

the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating

you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together

your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture

the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat

he gonna need stamina later *winky face*

you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken

like a whole buffet table of different flavors

but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him

everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece

instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off

your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got

he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o

it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife

heh

wife

he likes the sound of that

peppers your face with kisses on the ride home

yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)

scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold

gives you a soft kiss before putting you down

and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll

definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning

also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway

you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain

he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs

plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook

he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast

there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat

a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep

didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes

will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips

if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features

still can’t process that you’re married

someone actually loved him enough to marry him

there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk

didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero

you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless

if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up

you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much

it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for

loved

how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing

it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you

it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others

absolutely loves taking you on night flights

will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds

with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist

definitely dances with you during some of those flights

wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air

it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for

your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer

even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook

his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often

it feels like home

likes startling/scaring you a lot

will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 

the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk

will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss

if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair

no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes

he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest

he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once

absolutely flirts with you while at work

probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts

it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there

picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook

like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings

9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle

sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you

“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”

sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-

but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy

no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl

honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath

he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y

will keep a close watch on you for a while after that

asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home

definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones

he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious

although he certainly tried his best to hide it

he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself

he was just afraid to lose you

he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words

[takamishinko]

footprints and doubts

this is the longest piece we’ve written so far and it drained the living crap out of us :,D but hope u guys enjoy !

pronouns: gender neutral 

warnings: nothing really other than jealousy, angst, and crying, self thought cheating

a/n: r/n is region name btw

________________________________________________________________

honestly you found it hard to believe that little ol’ you from r/n could befriend let alone become someone important to ajax. the great tartaglia, 11th of the fatui harbingers, his name itself could strike fear into anyone. yet here you were, standing next to him with your hands intertwined with his at the lantern rite festival. you would give the world to him if you could, you loved him so much. he was so different from your last significant other who had been unfaithful towards you. 

‘you’re just too boring.’ they had told you apathetically. you frown thinking about it.

you felt ajax gave your hand a small tug, "hey y/n why don't we go over there? looks like chef mao is cooking up something good." he spoke with a cheery grin on his face.

you snap back into reality as you felt his hand pull you out of your thoughts. you gave him a terse nod and the two of you made your way to wanmin restaurant.

after waiting a while in line, the two of you were next. chef mao looked up and practically shat himself at the sight of the male next to you. 

“hello y/n! i hope you’ve been enjoying the festival, " chef mao spoke nervously, his eyes gliding to the male next to you, “y...you too sir childe.” he sputtered out. right, ajax was the one who tried to destroy liyue not too long ago after all. you shook your head, right now you were with ajax, not childe.

"woah woah woah. calm down chef, you know that’s history now. besides, i’m just here to enjoy the festival with y/n." ajax assured, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

you gave the chef a slight smile and spoke,"don’t worry chef. i’m sure he doesn’t have plans other than being with me tonight." you teased. 

the chef sighed in poorly concealed relief and returned to his usual self as he took your order. ajax ordered the specialty for today, the crystal shrimp. after a small wait, the two of you waved chef mao goodbye after he gave you two your food. the warm dish let out puffs of steam and glistened under all the light of the lanterns due to it's crystal clear skin, there were 4 in total, the wrapping for each was folded into the shape of a flower. they were so pretty, you almost felt bad for eating them. 

sitting down on a nearby bench, the two of you enjoyed the crystal shrimp while making small talk. the crystal shrimps were delicious themselves but it felt better to enjoy them with someone you loved. 

after finishing the food, you and ajax had a great time. you guys played a few rounds of theatre mechanics, ruijin was pleased at how skilled the two of you were and rewarded both of you with hefty prizes. upon bumping into zhongli, the three of you decided to enjoy some tea with him. after bidding farewell to the funeral consultant, the two of you released some xiao lanterns and watched as they floated into the night sky. 

feeling a bit tired, the two of you then decided to relax and take a walk instead of participating in games. as you and your boyfriend were strolling around the harbour, something, or someone caught his gaze. you look over to where his eyes were trailing to.

oh.

a beautiful young lady dressed in a white dress with a cecilia tucked into her golden blonde hair and a puffy companion floating by her side waved at ajax. her smile brighter than the sun and her movement as graceful as the moon. her honey glazed eyes shone with familiarity and glee at the sight of him.

of course you recognized this girl. she was none other than the otherworldly traveler, lumine. she fought alongside the liyue qixing and even the adepti to defeat the great osial. the people of liyue spoke about her often, everyone knew how she had also earned the title of honorary knight in mondstadt and defeated one of the four winds despite her young age. 

you were once again brought back into reality when ajax spoke, "hey babe ill be right back okay? i wanna catch up with lumine real quick." 

you felt his hand leave yours, the warmth dissipated with it. you felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble up as you watched your boyfriend run to someone else, leaving you alone by yourself to stand in the sea of lanterns and people. 

it didn't feel right.

you stayed in place with a dejected look for a while waiting for ajax to return but he was taking a while so you decided to go check what was going on with him.

"-but then teucer decided to do it anyway!” you hear ajax’s boyish voice ring out with amusement.

as the blond and the redhead laughed together. you couldn't help but think about the two looked enchanting with each other.

you shook your head and decided to make your presence known. "ajax-" 

ajax perked up, "oh! babe sorry to keep you waiting let me introduce you. lumine this is my partner y/n!" ajax exclaimed with a cute grin.

you gave lumine a small wave and spoke with a polite smile, "it's a pleasure to meet you lumine." 

"it’s nice to meet you too y/n.” lumine replied cheerfully.

now that you’ve got a better look at the blonde, she's so much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 

her velvety blonde hair fell gracefully, her porcelain skin was practically glowing without a single visible blemish, her golden eyes shone with beauty that rivaled cor lapis. to wrap it up, her short stature was presented with grace and poise. all in all, everything about the blonde was nothing less than perfection.

everyone loved her and you could understand the reason behind it very well. gorgeous, kind, and righteous, the hero of every region everyone respected. you couldn’t help but wish you were like her instead of your boring self, without a vision, without any standing out achievements either…

you started to space out while the two started up a conversation again, thinking about the feelings you were currently having. why were you feeling like this?

"hey babe we should get going! it's getting late." the voice of your lover broke you out of your thinking.

you were overthinking a lot today huh. "oh. we probably should get going then." 

"bye ajax! bye y/n! it was really nice meeting you." lumine said with a pearly smile gracing her features. she then walked off to find her floating companion who was near a food stall inhaling dish after dish of food.

wait.

ajax..? he wasn’t childe or tartaglia to her, but ajax. you didn't know how to feel upon hearing the real name of your boyfriend slip out of the blonde. you knew how secretive ajax could be when it came to his family and personal life so the fact that lumine knew his real name put a feeling of unease within you.

the way home was pretty quiet, you didn't want ajax to notice that you were feeling off. you felt so guilty for having these feelings about him and lumine but you couldn’t help it. your last relationship had practically trampled on your ability to trust others, you could never tell if someone was lying to you or being truthful. you contemplated telling him how you felt but you decided against it, you’ve never been great at expressing your feelings after all. however, after a while of him blabbing about random topics, you couldn’t curb your curiosity any longer and realized you wanted to know more about your lover's relationship between him and lumine.

after a while of peaceful silence, you let out a small breath, "hey ajax?"

“yes y/n?" 

"who is lumine… to you?"

ajax perked up at the sound of the blonde's name, "lumine? she's a good friend and a formidable opponent of course. it's been a while since i’ve fought with someone who could keep up with me on the battlefield!" ajax spoke with enthusiasm.

you felt a twinge of pain shoot into your heart at the tone that your lover used when speaking about the blonde. did he speak like that when he was talking about you? 

"oh… i see. she must be a very powerful person then." you replied with feigned glee.

ajax noticed that you were in low spirits, "why? is something wrong?" he questioned with slight worry.

"no! i'm alright. i was just curious because you two seemed… close." you lied. you weren't ok, but you didn't know how to tell him. probably because you didn't even know why you felt such-

envy 

that was what you were feeling. not petty jealousy or sadness, you were envious. envious of lumine. her beauty, her strength, her personality, everything. the feeling consumed every inch of your body and dyed you green. your insecurities swallowed you up and spit you out, rendering you vulnerable against the little demons that poked at your thoughts.

when the two of you got home and freshened up, ajax practically passed out the second he lied in bed with you. on the other hand, you stayed wide awake, stuck thinking about the way lumine and ajax interacted. the smiles, the laughter, the fond looks they gave each other plagued your mind, rendering you unable to sleep. after a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, you groaned and carefully lifted the sheets to not wake your lover and got out of bed to make yourself a cup of tea. you used the tea leaves you bought from pops kai, the calming properties of the tea always helped you when you felt down. 

"they're just friends, don't overthink it, just friends, just friends." you whispered to yourself, trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance. after finishing the tea you got back into bed,  it was hard but you eventually fell asleep next to your lover.

next morning, you were woken by the sound of your boyfriend walking around in the living room doing something. it was only around 7am so you were wondering why up so early as he usually woke up at 8. you groggily walked out of the bedroom.

ajax noticed you and smiled fondly at the cute sight of you rubbing your eyes. "good morning babe, did i wake you up? sorry about that, i was just getting ready to go train."

"oh. by yourself?" somehow, you had a feeling of where this conversation was headed.

"no, with lumine, we made a deal yesterday to go to yaoguang shore today to fight some ruin guards and hunters for materials!" he chuckled.

lumine. lumine

the name echoed in your mind like a mantra. you were aware of his weekly spars with the blonde but today would be the second day he went out with her this week. a part of your heart told you to stop him, another part told you to let him go. in this internal battle, you chose the latter and let him go. after all, who were you to stop him? it's not like you could be the one to satisfy his thirst for battle, only someone like lumine could.

you were having a day off due to the lantern rite festival, but to be honest it's not like you needed the money. with the amount of money ajax had he could probably support you and your next 4 generations. with your spare day, you decided to clean up the house because it was a bit messy due to teucer playing around the day before. 

while cleaning up you found a spare xiao lantern that teucer was supposed to release when he came over. since you had spare time you decided to set another lantern yourself, it would be a waste to not use it after all. as people say, during the lantern rites, put your wish into a lantern and set it into the sky for it to become true. 

"i wish to stay with ajax, till death does us apart." 

you only hoped he felt the same way about you.

you put the note in the xiao lantern and set it off into the sky, you watched with sentiment as it floated away towards the clear blue sky.

you had a hard time focusing on the task you were doing for the rest of your day so you decided to take your mind off things and go take a look around liyue harbour to see if there was anything worth checking out, or buying. 

liyue harbour contained the usual, the fragrance of grilled tiger fish wafting from the stand next to where you would usually buy your groceries, the kids messing around near the boats, and you even met xiangling who tried to offer you her new recipe of jade parcels but you kindly refused. 

after that you went to give the adorable little pharmacist, qiqi, a visit. she was under the  cashier stand like usual, you gave her a little pat on the head and asked for the usual medicine you buy for ajax. 

you then bumped into zhongli, who was also strolling around. the two of you chattered about the festival and other shenanigans before bidding each other farewell. the amount of history about liyue and its traditions the man was familiar with would never fail to surprise you.

there wasn’t really anything left for you to do in the harbour so you started to head back home. not far away from the liuli pavilion you saw a familiar redhead talking to the owner of mingxing jewelry with a shorter figure standing beside him. 

upon closer inspection, you noticed it was ajax with someone else at a jewelry shop looking at the items. it was none other than lumine standing next to him. you watched as lumine picked out a piece of jewelry from the stand that would look so well on her. the gem glowed it’s colour under her smile and looked more fitting than ever. weren’t they supposed to be at yaoguang shore?

without second thought ajax bought the jewelry in lumines hand and put it in a gift bag with a look of tenderness. your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, you felt as if the world was crashing down on you. your breathing quickened and your heart palpitated at alarming rates. every little insecurity that was planted in you had finally finished blooming. was this really going to happen to you a second time? was once not enough for the entertainment of the gods?

that was when he saw you, standing only a little bit away from him holding the items you purchased for him and the fresh groceries you were going to use to cook dinner for him.

ajax’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, “y/n!? why are you he-” he was tense, you noticed, just like your ex-lover when they were caught.

you tried to regulate your breathing and spoke, “stop.” you managed to say, cutting off ajax before he could finish his sentence. he flinched at your dull tone.

“y/n! i know what you’re thinking but i promise we were just-” ajax hurriedly tries to explain.

“don’t. i think i've seen enough childe.” he frowned at the use of his moniker. 

your lips trembled, water collecting at the bottom of your eyes. ‘don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you repeated in your head, you didn’t want to appear weak in front of the two. your ajax who you loved so much, who you cared for so much, who you were planning to spend the rest of your life with, is now buying jewelry for someone else after lying to you.

“i was foolish this entire time, of course. instead of someone like me, a visionless nobody you would choose her over me. you’re just like-” your voice cracked as you forced the words out of your tightened throat. 

“y/n it’s not like that! please just let me explain!” ajax pleaded urgently. he hated that you were talking bad about yourself.

after gaining a smidge of composure you decided you couldn’t be near the two, “no need childe, i understand. now if you’ll excuse me, i'll be on my way.” you muttered and brushed past the two. 

“wait y/n!-” he reached out to grab your arm before the blonde next to him stopped him.

lumine sighed and spoke up after staying silent, “let them go for now. leave them alone for a bit, they need some time to think. it’s understandable why someone would be upset if they saw their lover with someone else like this.” she comforted before patting him on the back.

“yeah. i guess you’re right...” ajax murmured with a crestfallen look. he regretted not communicating with you, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. he should’ve cleared up any suspicions you had and reassured you. he knew about how you weren’t confident due to your last relationship. gods, he felt like he was worse than your dirtbag of an ex.

you walked towards your home slowly trying to process what just happened. your tears already ran dry and you didn’t think more were able to escape from your eyes. the fading sunset seemed so blurry yet peaceful. somehow, instead of walking home, you ended up near yaoguang shore which happened to be the spot you and ajax would go to often. his name brought bitter feelings back as you remember the events that just happened but you took a deep breath and sat on the sand across from the shore. you listened to the sound of the ocean, the waves dousing the sand it touched. you took notice of the starconches laying on the sand. 

feelings of melancholy welled up inside you. these are ajax’s favourites. the blue shells reminded you of his eyes. his lovely eyes were the blue of the waves of the sea, they crashed into you and pulled you into them. you could spend all day swimming in the infinite hues until you drowned.

you buried your head onto your knees and let out a pained cry you’ve been holding in. here, where no one can find you, where no one can hear you. only the ocean will hear your troubles and worries, you hoped it could wash them away and you could forget about them forever. you sat there in peace by yourself for what felt like hours.

you sighed and decided that you should get going, but to where? you didn’t want to see ajax if he’s even going to be there at all. maybe you could crash at zhongli’s place…

 just as you were about to leave you heard a familiar voice behind your back. “y/n!” it was the man you loved, ajax, sprinting to you with the same gift bag he was holding in his hands at mingxing jewelry. 

you turned around to look at him. your hair was flowing in the wind with the sunset behind your back. to ajax it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. 

“i knew you’d be here.” ajax spoke with relief.

you looked away from him not knowing how to feel right now about your “lover” and stayed silent.

“y/n. i swear it wasn’t what it looked like, i would never do that to you. lumine and i really don’t have anything going on in between us, i chose you as my partner and i plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life. in fact,” ajax murmured while opening up the gift bag he was holding. it was a bracelet with a fine piece of noctilucous jade in the middle with cor lapis fragments decorating the border of the blue gem. the jewelry wafted with fragrances, the morning dew smell from a qingxin, the classical smell of the harbour from a silk flower and lastly the everlasting aroma of violet grass.  

“do you like it? lumine and i picked it out for you at mingxing jewelry for our upcoming anniversary. i just wanted her opinion on what to choose for you. this was one of the most beautiful pieces that they had. i heard it took a super long time to make, oh! the jade in the middle will also make the bracelet glow in the dark! pretty cool huh?” ajax smiled as he lifted your wrist to put it on you.

at a loss of words, you lifted your head up at the male and gave him a soft smile, “thank you ajax… i love it, it’s perfect in every way possible.”

“just like you.” the redhead spoke fondly with a grin on his face while softly stroking your hair.

“oh shut up you flirt.” you tried to hide your smile as you both giggled on the beach with the sunset dripping behind you two. 

after a while of being engulfed in ajax’s arms you spoke, “ajax, i want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and lumine. i..you know about how i find it hard to trust people sometimes but it was unfair for me to do that to you, i know you would never cheat on me.” you spoke, hugging him tighter as if he would leave if you get go. 

“y/n. don’t you dare think for a second that i’ll leave you for someone else ok? you’re the only one in this world that i want and it’s staying that way. i don’t care if you’re visionless, or if you don’t have any achievements whatsoever. i still love you so so much.” ajax exclaimed as he buried his head into the crook of your neck.

you felt a certain warmth as your face flushed. how did you end up with someone as perfect as ajax. you lifted his face with your hands and pressed your lips against his. he deepens the kiss and your heart melts.

“thank you ajax. i’ll always be by your side too, no matter what happens. my love for you has no ends.” you speak with pure affection as you nuzzled your face into ajax’s soft yet firm chest. 

ajax feels his face heat up and he quickly speaks, “c’mon now, let’s go home, i can’t wait to taste your cooking after running around all day today.”

the two of you walked together on the beach, hand in hand, leaving footprints and doubts in the sand.

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