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herlifethewayitis · 1 year ago

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You changed me. ❤️

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my growth and how this man has played a role in it. We've been together for almost 2 years now (December 16th will be 2 years) and it's been the greatest surprise of my life.

You don't consider how one person can be the game changer for your entire life.

You're entire being.

During the days that I'm struggling, I have to look back at how I've grown. Here's the timeline of our love, our journey... the love for myself, and my journey.

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ACQUAINTANCES - The first contact

November 08, 2021 - 9:17AM.

This was a very special day, even though we were only friends. We discussed our love for music, which we both had no idea, that today, we'd be doing together.

We spent lots of time talking about music for a couple days. He sent me video files of his music. At the time I was still married and we never saw eachother as a potential love partner.

Silence, for a month.

December 2021.

The beginning of this month, I was newly single.

Heart-broken.

A mess.

Defeated.

Unhealthy.

Toxic.

Ugly.

Longing for love.

And there you were. In a Discord voice channel with me and a group of our friends. I didn't want to be alone. I had to be around others. I was scared. I was lonely. I hated myself. I hated my circumstances. I felt like a disappointment.

But... you were there.

Every person in the call was kind... we laughed a lot, played games... and you had to go to bed because you had work early. But you had noticed I looked sad and you asked if I was okay before you left. I nodded yes, with tears in my eyes; we all said goodnight and off you went.

I was too broken to even share what was going on, but the next afternoon, I messaged you while we were all in Discord again hanging out. I shared that I was newly single and hurting.

You had nothing but kind and supportive words. There was no flirtation, but in two instances, you were there for me and showed care more than any person had in our friend group.

We often played games on each of the nights we all spent together. But this night... this one was special.

This is the night we knew we truly knew we had a friendship building... but felt something more. Was it too soon? Absolutely. But my heart was longing for yours and I didn't even realize it.

We played Golf With Your Friends. Purposely, I would forget my turn just so I could hear you say my name.

"Mandii, it's your turn."

and with each time I heard you say my name, I felt my heart beat a little faster.

It was in those moments, we kept locking eyes with one another and then starts the private messaging, again.

BUILDING A STRONGER CONNECTION.

We messaged a lot for a few days, and then we exchanged numbers. We had to talk through WhatsApp, as he was overseas and that would have been really expensive had we texted through our phone services.

Through the course of 10 days, we shared our stories, he heard my pain, he encouraged me, he loved on me in a very friendly way. But, then we started connecting so closely that we started to compliment each other's looks. I couldn't not tell him how handsome he was and every time... his response melted my soul.

"You're gorgeous."

I knew that getting out of a marriage half a month ago and jumping into a new relationship immediately is very frowned upon, but I couldn't help how I felt about him.

We had a conversation about dating and of course, being overseas in a long-distance relationship is never ideal, because, will we ever meet?

December 16, 2021.

During the morning of this day, I woke up still feeling so broken, but I also was so excited to wake up to a message from him. I knew that he was off around 8am my time, which was 2pm his time.

He had said "Good morning, Mandii. I hope you slept well." There was an instant smile. I messaged back wishing him a good day, with full hearts in my eyes.

He had told me about how he was out shopping with his mom and she had bought him a new mouse and keyboard for his computer. He talked about how they went to Burger King and he sent me a picture of the two of them together.

I melted.

To see a man love his mother so deeply and have a close relationship with her is so heart-warming.

He got back home, and we texted more. He sent me pictures of his new keyboard and mouse, and I told him that I really liked him.

We opened the discussion about dating again because I had asked if he'd thought about it.

He told me that he could see that I do care about him and that I am very invested...and he said he wanted to start dating me.

I felt... so happy, but yet, still broken.

He made me feel alive. Wanted. Needed. We sent selfies to one another throughout the days and I felt so alive and seen, that I did my makeup for him because I knew he'd actually appreciate me for wanting to look pretty for him.

That was something I'd never experienced with anyone before.

And this was the start of us. ❤️

New Years Eve.

New Years Eve was rocky. Rocky is even an understatement.

It started with fun, love, friends and wine. We hung out with our friends, laughed, listened to music and drank to ring in the New Year, and for me, alcohol can be my biggest enemy.

I was separated from my ex-husband but still living in the house. It was turmoil. He knew I was dating someone and he was angry, rightfully, so we fought a lot, daily.

As we laughed, I drank another glass. With each glass, I laughed more, opened up more to my friends and also, expressed more of the feelings I had for Tobi.

And another glass.

And another.

Another one.

1st wine bottle, empty.

Then comes the danger. I'm still conscious enough of what I'm doing and saying, but another bottle is opened.

Tobi warns me to be careful and expresses his concern for me as he can see me unraveling like a ball of yarn that is unwoven enough that if you drop it out of your hand, it will become entangled and a mess.

...and a mess I was.

The second bottle opens and within 20 minutes, that bottle was about polished off.

I was in tears, I was having anxiety attacks, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Where it was just the friend group, it turned into my mom, my best friend and others I needed there for support to get through it.

Where I dig deeper on this, with every pour, it was as if every emotion hidden deeply in my heart, was being poured out of me. Alcohol seems to push everything out of me in the worst ways.

I didn't know how I was going to get through a divorce, manage a new relationship, figure out how to be a single mom, live on my own and just... live... be alive.

2022.

This entire year was filled with so much pain, but also, so much love.

I started a new job where I was making more than enough money to sustain myself, but my self-confidence was still so slim-to-none that I couldn't even bring myself to find success there. I failed my state exams and I continued to sink.

The income sustained me enough for me to find an apartment and move into the place that would be so cold and empty for the next year and a half.

Just me, my desk and empty rooms with some boxes.

This was the most painful of every moment since the separation between my ex-husband and I, up until this point.

This is where it gets dark.

MY LITTLE GIRLS.

For little girls, they should see the a world of magic. They have an innocence about them at 6 and 3 (at the time). They just want Barbie's and juice boxes.

Unfortunately for my little girls, they didn't just have those things. They also gained a broken family, moreover, a broken mom and dad.

Separate homes.

New rooms.

New schedules.

A lack of normalcy.

Anger.

Hurt.

Confusion.

All of the back and forth was the worst. For them, confusing, for me, lonely and pain-filled.

I hated the thought that I wouldn't see my girls but select days of the week and I hated more that it was actually happening.

I know a lot of this middle text is mostly about myself and doesn't show a lot of the man I love and how he impacted me this time, but that will come soon.

I moved into this apartment with $100 to my name. I had to choose what that was going toward, and the easy answer, my kids.

I bought them beds, pillows and blankets. That's all I could afford.

On the nights I didn't have them, I slept on these beds.

On the nights I had them, I slept on the wood floor and they slept in their beds.

I had never cried more tears in my life than the nights I slept alone. I had Tobi on video calls with me day and night because I couldn't sit alone otherwise I'd really break.

Without him and my daughters, I'd be dead.

LOOKING UP? NOT. A. CHANCE.

I started working at Domino's Pizza as a delivery driver, and within a month, I was a manager of the store.

I loved the job. I thrived. I was happy, my bills were paid and this brought me some sort of normalcy.

I finally had made friends, and I call them family now.

During this time, I was proud of myself, Tobi was proud, and my family was proud. I worked so hard. Double shifts, I took deliveries and managed the store.

and then came August... 💔

THE BREAKUP.

During the previous 6 months that Tobi and I were together, we made plans for him to move from Germany to Michigan.

We were ecstatic.

We booked his plane ticket, he emptied and gave up his apartment, quit his job... we counted down the days.

He hopped on his first flight, got off, and went to get on his second flight and he was denied entry into the USA.

I cried.

When I say that I cried...

I sobbed.

My heart was so completely shattered that I couldn't breathe. I thought that this was the end and that he would never get here. I thought that our relationship wasn't meant to happen, that he was just a season in my life.

I also realized in this moment that I was so broken that I needed to get help for myself because if I didn't, I definitely wasn't going to be okay.

We sat on a call and we discussed what this meant for us. I cried for weeks, and weeks. Until, a month and a half later, I decided I could not handle being apart, the distance was just too much for my broken heart to handle.

We broke up.

He begged me to stay because I am the love of his life and he knew that I was the woman he wanted to marry and that I was breaking his heart.

and this is where I break even more.

END OF AUGUST 2022 - I LOST ME.

Being without the love of my life, I didn't know who I was anymore. Because I didn't know who I was, I became someone that I wasn't.

I posted revealing photos of myself online, I dated someone briefly who was just as broken as I was for one simple reason...

To cope with the fact that I was trash for leaving the one person who brought me to life.

...and because I left the love of my life, I died inside, all over again.

While I was co-existing with the world, I wanted to die on the outside too.

I received all of the WORST attention and died more.

I received messages from Tobi, who was furious because he knew this was not me and it certainly wasn't my heart.

Tobi and I went back and forth for weeks about what I was doing. My heart was in and out of the conversations.

One moment I was sure I wanted to be with him, then the next I was terrified of the distance.

I made him an option when I knew he was not, he was my person and that was all.

I played with his heart and his feelings. I was so mentally unstable that I couldn't think clearly for one second during this time.

We fought on a phone call and I begged him to take me back because I was afraid I would really kill myself.

He thought I was being manipulative, but in that moment, he didn't see that my pain was so real without him that I didn't want to be alive.

Some call that an unhealthy addiction to a person, I call that the realization that you've made such a deep wound within yourself for no good reason that you feel there's no other way out of the pain.

End of the phone call, the end of us, for now.

END OF NOVEMBER 2022.

I quit my job.

I broke things off with the guy I was dating.

I was done with life.

I called my kids, I told them I loved them.

I went to bed.

I laid in bed. I sobbed. I called Tobi on a video call and we fought. I told him that I was done with life. I told him that I was gonna kill myself.

All I wanted was to be with the love of my life because I knew that night that I made a grave mistake.

He sat in silence watching me grip onto my pillow and crying every tear I had left in me.

All I could say over and over was...

I love you.

I'm so sorry.

...and he looked at me and said...

I love you too.

I want you back.

We got back together. For 1 day.

TERMS OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

We set boundaries with one another and he listed out some terms for our relationship to be able to work.

Block the guy I was with.

File the Divorce papers with my ex-husband.

Seek therapy.

I agreed to these terms. I would have done anything to be with him.

BREAKING UP...AGAIN.

But after a day, his heart was conflicted. He realized everything that had happened that had lead to this and decided he didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve it.

So there, I then cried, begged him to stay with me, told him he was the love of my life and I knew that he was who I wanted to marry one day... just as he said to me when I broke things off initially.

A week went by and again, I broke more.

I was done with life at this point.

I paced around my house, I looked in my medicine cabinet for pills I could take.

I looked for something that could end my life, for good.

I couldn't find anything.

I threw things at the walls, screamed into my pillows, called one of my close girl friends and cried. I told her about how badly I messed up and how badly I wanted him.

I had to be patient and allow his heart to heal if we were ever going to have a chance again.

Tobi and I messaged back and forth for the week and I apologized over and over for breaking his heart.

He told me he didn't love my anymore, that he didn't feel anything for me anymore.

Slowly I was falling into acceptance of what I had done. I accepted that I was trash, that I was a mistake to the world, that I was a horrible girlfriend for what I did, that there was no point in me trying to beg him anymore.

I sent him a long letter thanking him for the love he'd given me in the 6 months we were together and left him be.

I laid in bed the entire day in tears and prayed that God would send him back to me.

He called me that night, we talked, and we got back together, for good.

THE SPIRAL.

We got back together like nothing had ever changed and for a month every thing was good between us. He forgave me and we moved on.

There was still hurt, long discussions and trust was rebuilding.

While we rebuilt, I was still hurting so deeply inside from the beginning of the split from my ex-husband up until this point.

It felt as though my heart was taking hit after hit after hit.

It was almost as if every day to every other day that I was telling Tobi that my dark thoughts weren't going away.

I had the love of my life but I still wanted to die.

I found another job, and shortly after, I got extremely sick with pneumonia.

I couldn't work for almost a month. I couldn't pay my bills. I couldn't even afford the medication I needed to heal physically.

Tobi took care of me as best as he could emotionally and financially, but I needed help.

I felt extremely alone and exhausted in every way.

I started therapy, but it was just the beginning of my journey of healing.

My parents wanted to help, but I never asked because of my own pride. I assumed they wouldn't help.

THE CALL.

I called my ex-husband to say goodnight to my kids and that I loved them. Then I had a conversation with my sister to be transparent about how I was feeling, and she told my parents. I was beyond furious that she did, but I didn't know she did, until I heard Tobi yelling at me to wake up while we were on a video call.

I had fallen asleep because I had been coughing so badly for weeks that my sleep was extremely broken.

I woke up to him saying my Dad was on his way to my apartment.

I saw phone calls and text messages from my parents and siblings asking if I was okay and that they were on their way to me.

Not even 2 minutes after I woke up, I heard banging on my door.

I ran to the door, trying to breathe, opened the door, to see a cop with my parents and brother.

All I could say is "What the fuck is going on... what are you doing here? Why is there a cop at my door!"

I was furious.

My parents looked relieved but my Dad looked like he was going to die because he didn't know if I was going to answer the door and be alive, or if the cop was going to kick the door down and find me dead.

I was very much alive outwardly, but not on the inside.

The cop came in, sat with me and I cried.

He showed so much compassion because visually, with my apartment looking how it did, he could see the depression everywhere. With my tears, he could see my pain.

He had to ask if I needed any medical attention or psychiatric care.

I explained that I was very depressed and hurting, but I wasn't going to kill myself, I was just asleep.

The cop left after telling my parents I was okay, and then I went to the door to talk to my parents.

My dad was angry at Tobi, thinking that he was purposely ignoring his messages and thought that my mom was with holding information from him.

This was farthest from the truth.

This time, I was truly just sleeping and very sick.

Needless to say, I was very angry at my family. More than I was for feeling like they wouldn't support me in a time of desperate and real need.

I provided my parents with Tobi's information so they could easily contact him.

My parents went back home, and I got into bed and cried. I was so upset by the situation, and then went back to sleep.

Looking back, I know this was the right move, because really, I was suicidal. I just hadn't acted on it and I certainly wasn't going to tell my therapist this at the time.

I had fears of just being locked up in a hospital where I wouldn't truly get the help and healing I needed because the only way I'd get that is if I really made the effort to make changes in my life.

2023.

It's the start of 2023 and I'm starting to heal.

Therapy has been life changing just after a couple of months, I wasn't sick anymore, I started a new job, everything was amazing.

I thrived at my new job, got promoted 3 times within a month, my relationship with Tobi was blossoming.

This year we had plans to finally meet in person.

Plane ticket booked.

Got my Covid Shot.

Got my Passport.

I was so. ready. to. meet. my. man.

For the first time.

We were absolutely over the moon about the fact that we could actually be together and solidify us.

I struggled mentally still for the first 4 months of the year. Therapy was helping me process through everything I was going through inside so I wasn't internalizing it, but I knew I still needed more help.

LIFE CHANGING.

In May of 2023, I finally saw a psychiatrist. I got the answers I have been longing for my entire life.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder and was put on medication.

The medication was the immediate game changer that I needed so I could truly find me again.

All of the highs and lows made sense for once.

What I was experiencing was Mania and Depressive lows. When I was in a high, I was in a really bad high. When I was in a low, I was in a really bad low.

I would be up for 15-24 hours at a time, not sleeping and then I would crash hard. I went from being super loud, to crying so badly I wanted to die.

The anxiety attacks were paralyzing and made the depressive states so much worse.

But... with the medication, I feel more normal than I ever have.

Whatever normal is...

While I was feeling better, I dipped into a really bad low between April and July, even being on medication.

My job was giving me no more than 10 hours a week, if that because tax season was so slow.

I couldn't pay my bills. I couldn't live.

My parents had helped me once, and when I asked again out of shame, they gave again, but as a final helping with knowing that I would find financial security after that.

It helped a ton.

But a month later, I was still stuck. I ran a fundraiser, and only came up with half of my rent. I had to ask my parents for help again and they said no.

I explained my situation and told them I understood and didn't hold any resentment because they'd helped so much previously.

I ran the fundraiser for another week, praying that someone would help. My Dad called and told me that I was his daughter and he didn't want to see me struggling, so he helped me pay my rent again.

I was more thankful at this point that I was in tears. God provided, through my parents.

I still carry a ton of guilt because as an adult, I feel I shouldn't have to ask my Dad for help at 29 years old.

JULY 31, 2023.

This is the day that I hopped on a plane to meet the love of my life for the first time. This month was filled with fears, preparing, tears, laughs, excitement and love.

I had no idea what I was I was in for. I had so many fears that it was covering up the excitement.

What if I'm not who he thinks I am?

What if I'm not pretty enough?

What if he thinks I'm fat and hates my body?

What if we don't connect the same?

What if he really is catfishing me?

What if the rumors are true about him using me?

What if we absolutely despise one another?

Boy, were these lies above exactly what they are: lies.

I sat on a plane for 9 hours, traveling to meet my love.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I arrived in Germany, and we walked around eachother at the airport, trying to find eachother.

He texted me.

"Do you see a Subway?"

I was right next to it. I turned to my right and saw him. My body went cold. I couldn't believe it.

I had two thoughts in my mind:

He's so short. 🤣

He's so perfect. 🥰

and after asking him his first thoughts:

She's so tiny. 🤣

She's so pretty. 🥰

We looked at each other and smiled. He hugged me and immediately kissed me.

3 WEEKS OF BLISS. PURE. BLISS.

Every thought, every fear we had, was so unnecessary.

We connected instantly, I gained a new family, and we built beautiful memories together.

We spent time eating at different places, sight seeing, talking, snuggling, making love and moments I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

He made me feel special every second of every day.

While I loved going to the zoo, walking around his town, spending time with his family, trying all of the good foods of Germany... my favorite moments were the quiet moments when we were alone.

Whether that be at 3 in the morning sitting on a bench talking, or snuggling up in bed and just staring at one another. Memorizing every feature of his face, hearing his voice, remembering how his skin feels and how safe I felt just being with him.

We talked about our goals and dreams individually and what we wanted for us. Those were the times that I cherished the most. The quality time.

Every day that went by, what I thought I wanted became what I knew I want for us. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

THE PROPOSAL.

There's a million more things I could say that made this trip so special... but the day this day... is tattooed on my heart.

We woke up in the morning, he made me breakfast, I cried knowing that I had 2 days left before I had to go back home.

I spent those two days in tears and all I could say...

I don't want to leave.

But this day, I got dressed, did my makeup and decided to just embrace these final moments with him. It wasn't the end, it was just the beginning of our forever together.

We took a walk to the castle by his home like we did multiple times during this trip trip to just talk and spend more time together.

He took me to a beautiful part of the castle overlooking the river, and he proposed.

I cried like a baby. This moment was bliss. It was a dream. I couldn't believe that 2 years ago I was a broken mess and here I am this day so happy, so in love, so healthy mentally AND ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED.

WHAT!?

SEE YOU SOON, MY LOVE.

This was not a goodbye, but an emotional see you soon.

To spend a beautiful vacation with this man and then have to go back home was beyond heart-wrenching.

I felt like I was leaving the love of my life for good, even though it's not forever.

I could write a novel about those 3 weeks in detail and I truly believe that it's the most beautiful story anyone would ever read.

I slept on the entire plane ride home and every moment I was awake, I was filled with anxiety and crying my eyes out.

To think that I went from being so heart broken and believing I would never find love again, to finding my best friend and my soul mate still blows my mind.

While the first week back home was so, SO hard, We are now making plans for him to be here permanently. We are wedding planning and doing all the research possible so that he can be here.

HOW YOU HEALED MY HEART.

In our 2 year journey so far, it's been filled with pain, heart-ache, tears, darkness, laughs, love, hope and joy.

While much of this was a very personal journey, you made my heart whole.

You stuck around when no one else would. You showed me true love, compassion, empathy, grace, forgiveness, encouragement, and what it's like to have a genuine best friend. You've shown me that even though I'm a mother of two beautiful daughters, you are willing to take on the role of step father and take them as your own.

When you find the right person, they change the way you see the world. You see colors in your life that you'd never expect. Everything is brighter, and even when it's dark, that person provides a light for you and lifts you up even when you feel empty.

To say that I am the luckiest girl in the world is the biggest understatement I have ever heard.

Thank you, my love. I cannot wait to spend my life with you, build a family, buy a home with you and make more memories that we will cherish forever.

#love #long distance #love story #mental health

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techinfofacts · 2 years ago

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Whatsapp Announces For Launching This New Feature Yourself’ Feature – Report

Have you ever created a group with only “you” as a member? It was a painstaking task back then to send yourself documents, videos, and other media. The process is now super-easy. We are grateful to the Meta-owned messaging platform WhatsApp for launching this new feature! Thousands of users around the world have been eagerly awaiting this feature for a long time, and the company finally listened. Want to send a blank WhatsApp message? Have you ever wondered how to make a fake WhatsApp account? The purpose of this article is to provide all the information you need about this long-awaited feature. It’s time to get started, so let’s begin.

With WhatsApp “yourself”, you can do whatever you want!

Whatsapp Announces For Launching

A much-anticipated feature has finally been added to WhatsApp’s foster child, Meta, which lets you message yourself. This feature has been rolled out in beta form several weeks ago and has only been available for Android and iOS users worldwide recently. Chats on the platform work just like they do on other platforms. Your reminders and important notes will be sent to you so you will always have access to them. Your sister’s birthday collage, your mom’s shopping list, your to-do list, or the birthday of your neighbor Ben may all be on your list. Let’s now delete the “personal” WhatsApp groups you created to keep a record of important things or send media to yourself. It is as simple as that. Interested in finding out how? You will find out.

How can I message myself on WhatsApp?

According to WaBetaInfo, the feature lets you share shopping lists, notes, and reminders with yourself on WhatsApp. While sending a message on the platform, your mobile number will appear at the top of the contact list. Your messages will be stored in the chat screen that opens when you tap the contact. Having trouble understanding? Message yourself on WhatsApp with this lucid step-by-step guide:

Step 1: Open WhatsApp.

Step 2: To proceed, click the action button in the lower right corner of the screen.

Step 3: Under the contact list, you can find your contact number with a bracket that says “You ”.

Step 4: Click on the contact to start a message.

Are you interested in opening the “message yourself” chat window on your browser? We have addressed this very concern of your concern well.

You can access Wa.me in any browser by typing https://wa.me/ into the URL bar.

Adding your phone number in international format next to it is the next step. As an example: if your phone number is 91 in India, you should type that. The result will look like this:

https://wa.me/+91-(XXX)XXXXXXX

Make sure there are no zeros, brackets, dashes, or other special symbols. Simply omit them if you find any. The final entry should be as follows:

https://wa.me/91XXXXXXXXXX

WhatsApp displays a message window on your screen called “message yourself”. I wish you happy messaging!

With this new feature, users will be able to accomplish a number of things. It allows users to store links for later use and make notes without having to download a dedicated app. Due to WhatsApp’s multi-device compatibility, it can also be used to transfer media, documents, contacts, and more between devices.

Does this feature provide any benefits?

The feature can be useful if you want to send yourself critical information that would otherwise go unnoticed. Users are able to message themselves using the “click to chat” feature or by creating a single-person group.

In addition to messaging yourself, Meta-owned company Communities launched group messaging this month. Multiple groups can now be connected to organize group chats on WhatsApp, such as neighborhoods, parents at schools, and workplaces.

Admins can send notifications and updates to everyone in the community once they are in a community and you can switch between available groups. Additionally, WhatsApp now offers in-chat polls, 32-person video calls, and groups with up to 1,024 users. These features are available in any group but will be especially useful to Communities since they enable emoji reactions, file sharing, and admin deletion.

In India, WhatsApp has around 390 million active users, making it one of the biggest markets. During the coming months, we’ll be adding a lot more features, but for now, we’re excited to get this into the hands of more people.

Source:- https://techinfofacts.com/whatsapp-announces-for-launching-this-new-feature-yourself-feature-report/

#WhatsApp for launching this new feature

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zuckerloeffel · 2 years ago

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fluttershys-lament · 4 years ago

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hhhhhhhhghgghs teachers

#// negative and delete later #IM GOING TO FRICKING LOSE IT. AAAAAAAAA #it wasn't one it was THREE #three homework #now the um. in spanish is preceptora #now she will offer us some kinda apology or solution tomorrow idk #almost all of them do what they want there #almost all teachers don't know how to write their native language. except the one that teaches us spanish ofc #cmon it isnt hard to put a single tilde. or a comma #there are some questions in the hw that look like ?'?????¿¿¿¿ what the frick????#we're ending the school year and now they are. nos están apurando. that.#but ohhh they keep sending work #and do zoom classes when they want #AND the preceptora messages me important shit to pass the year to my number only. instead of my mom's #context for that last one: we are all using whatsapp for this thing. and there it can be clearly read when was someone last online #almost always i don't have internet in my phone. therefore i dont use wp #but my mom DOES have internet and she DOES answer the school group messages #but what does the preceptora do?#message me. because why fucking not #i dont even know if im gonna pass math now #fuck

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avoidthezoid · 3 years ago

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Chronic Winker Rates Wink Emojis

In all these years of emoji reviews, nobody has had the moxie to rate the ever-enigmatic wink emoji? As someone who winks in real life way more than I probably should, I shall apply my winking expertise

Apple: 6/10

A fine, if somewhat cheeky little number. The mouth is much too pointy for my taste though. This wink definitely has the lecherous feel that many intend for it to have.

Google: 7/10

Cute! But the single eyebrow is a major distraction. This is definitely a little kid winking after saying they didn't eat all the cookies. Sweet and rather innocent face, but the one eyebrow keeps me from rating it anything higher.

Samsung: 5/10

The eyebrows are WAY too far off to resemble anything that will help with this expression. And the mouth is too wide, this guy means trouble. This is an old man's wink. And not a cute one.

Microsoft: 5/10

What is this, a corporate logo? It looks like something you'd see on like, a Skittles bag. The disparity of outline thickness and straight lines do not work here. Winks are supposed to be ORGANIC. But he's not a creep, which is more than I can say for some of these.

WhatsApp: 11/10

Ah, a right-eye! My favorite expression so far. The eyebrows are top notch, and the slight smirk is just the touch of asymmetry that makes this wink human. This is a dad wink to the highest degree. You can almost see the smile lines.

Twitter: -10/10

Basically an unshaded Apple, but with a disgusting thick eyelid and a mouth that makes it look like a third eye. This is someone who's so desperate for a bribe, they'll flirt for it. Lowlife. I really don't like looking at this one.

Facebook: 5/10

We got a marker stroke for an eye and a smirk that's TOO much of a smirk. There is no emotion behind those eyes. This looks like an illustration from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It's what Greg would look like if he ever succeeded at anything.

Messenger: 8/10

Again, I'm not loving the lack of eyebrows (THE EYEBROWS MAKE THE WINK, PEOPLE!!!) but this is such a sweet face that I'll allow it. This looks like Oswald the Octopus but yellow. Reassuring, and has no hate in his heart. I'd invite him over for tea and warm smiles.

LG: 10/10

Another beautiful little smirk! He's a little flustered, but damn if he isn't being a cutie while he is. This is WhatsApp's brother who is also a dad. He definitely just spilled beer on the kitchen counter and is winking at his kids as if to say don't tell mom.

Mozilla: 4/10

This is just Stewie Griffin. And also this boy can't wink. He's trying so hard, but he's closing one eye and half squinting the other. However, people who can't wink that try to do it anyway are funny to me, so I won't give him a lower score.

#wink #emoji #emoji review #wink emoji #rating emojis #reviewing emojis #winking #😉

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purple-babygirl · 3 years ago

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Here's a little diary thing:

A few weeks ago a girl from my Gothic literature class came to me and acted like she wanted to be friends and insisted that she takes my number all because I let her use my phone to call her mom 'cause she had no credit. I was like okay she seems nice maybe she actually likes me. We talk a bit, she takes the number, we leave and she doesn't talk to me again after.

Last week, however, was midterms week, so our girl from up there comes and messages me about wanting me to give her my notes for the class AND she misspells my name even though it's not hard to write (that's how much she doesn't know me but still wants me to hand over my notes). So anyway, i was really hurt because she only saw a nerd and wanted to keep her number because she might come in handy some time. She never wanted to be friends. She just wanted my notes. And like, she literally attends every single lecture and she sits in the front as well so why the fuck not jot down your own notes?!!! Why expect me to give you my effort?! Why convince me that you wanted to be my friend??!!! Like wtf honestly. You're not sick and both of your hands are just fine and you have ears just like everyone else! Why the fuck not use them!!

Moving on because I'm gonna get real angry if I continue 😂 I go "oops sorry I don't give my notes to anyone, but you can check the class' WhatsApp group" so she's like "i already have notes and other friends' notes and last year's exam as an example so thank you" and I'm like lolllll bitch you got nothingggg😂

Two days later when it's time for the exam she keeps eyeing me, throwing invisible daggers but I act like I don't see her because she's not worth my time.

And that was the story no one asked for about how I turned down someone trying to use me instead of handing over all my work just to feel like I have friends like I used to do as a kid. Don't give your work and effort to anyone. If they want something, they work for it themselves.

Thank you, bye.

#don't let anyone use you #don't let anyone take you for granted #and no she really didn't wanna be friends i didn't get her wrong #purple rambles

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whythewords · 2 years ago

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Days 227 - 266: Oh, to be in your care

These are getting fewer and further between huh? There's also no point mentioning that every single time, huh?

Well, I started school again.

It sucks.

I had a sinking feeling that this final semester was all of a sudden going to be unlike the other three and crawl by slowly...but looking at the last three weeks from a distance, I'm pretty amazed that there were three of them. It doesn't seem like it'll be too difficult but also doesn't seem like it'll be a cakewalk. I think I mentioned it before but at this point I'm just antsy because I'm over it, I'm ready to work now. I've done the co-op thing...twice...essentially doing the same thing I would do if I was hired to work there as a regular employee. Speaking of which, co-op ended and prospects at the city seem good based on what was said to me and about me. I'm still not sure if that's where I wanna end up but it also may be one of the best spots I can be while I figure out what's next. So that's pretty cool.

So yeah, I finished that, started school, caught COVID....

Yeah.

Fucking shit caught up to me.

I had been on a college campus for a couple of weeks, trying to mask up and be safe obviously but that'll only get you so far. Unclear if I was patient zero in my household as my dad got it a day or two before I did but I could have brought it back and not shown any symptoms. So the whole Chammas clan here in the apartment got infected. Luckily, mom and dad are both double-vaxxed, double-boosted and the worst of it seemed to only last about two or three days for them. Mine has been lingering though. I missed all my classes this week but luckily all of the material (aside from the live lecture) is still online, I have at least one class that was already fully virtual and a friend from older classes and my last co-op who was kind enough to talk me through today's coding lecture over WhatsApp as it was happening. I daresay I was more productive this week while sick at home than I was the last two while I was on campus. It's almost as if there's no actual reason for any of us to be there except for the fact the college wants us buy their shitty food and pay exorbitant parking fees on top of the already ridiculous tuition costs. Capitalism gon' capital. But let's move on from that since I've ranted and raved about it to family and friends over a voice chat between coughs enough this week.

Well, come to think of it, there's not much else. Oh...I guess I filed for divorce since the last post. Yeah. Fuck. That happened. We met at the courthouse. Filled out some paper work. Got some stuff notarized. Went back to her house...shit, okay. Pause. It IS her house. Why did I debate whether to refer to it as my OLD house? I guess technically both are true. *sigh* See how psychologically fun this whole process is? Anyway, yeah we went back to her house and re-signed and dated any of the paper work we had looked over a few weeks before and then I took it all home and filed. The process supposedly takes about 6-8 weeks (it's been 5) and that's assuming that we did everything correctly. At this point, I'm just praying I don't get an email back from the superior court saying "sorry try again" or I will lose my god damn shit. The process shouldn't be this hard....it's already hard enough emotionally.

Okay...fuck it here it is.

So she was late to the courthouse. We had to queue up and take another number after I had already been there for close to an hour. I was furious. I did my best to remain calm. She was apologetic. But god it was just...a microcosm of the worst parts of our relationship. I spent the whole rest of the time thinking how glad I was going to be when this process was all over, how this time might ACTUALLY be the last time I had to deal with this shit...and I just....couldn't fucking hold onto it. Maybe my heart knew it wasn't worth it. Maybe I'm past the point of caring, of investing too much of myself in it, and that's probably the healthier thing.

Before I left, I stood at the doorway awkwardly, said goodbye and then gave her a hug, and instinctively gave her a kiss on head. We just froze there for a second in a fucking depressing tableau.

I've said time and time again that this was all meant to happen, and I still believe that. I've said we're both gonna move on from this and do so much better for ourselves and by ourselves, and fuck I believe that with all my heart. But as has happened numerous times this year, and will certainly happen a few more before the year is through, loneliness has tendency to kick you right in rose-coloured nostalgia. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about giving her a shout when I got COVID just to hear her sympathize and remember what it was like when someone other than mommy and daddy were taking care of me.

It's funny, I started this series of sort of journal entries at the beginning of the year, to document my progress, the first new year since leaving my marriage and my home. And moreso than "look at all the progress I've made," I Iook back on everything so far and say "look how it's still hard, but I'm still moving forward." "Look how it's still hard but I'm still here."

I don't remember where I heard it recently but "two steps forward, one step back is STILL one step forward." So that's it. This is gonna be the pattern. Slow progress forward, but mostly more of the same. More of the same until it's different.

#life of joe #not so daily journal

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jungkookieyaaa · 3 years ago

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Faith In Excistence

This is my first ff ever. Please ignore if I made any mistakes as I am very new here. I think the story is pretty dragging and boring but trust me the story will take a huge turn once it reach 3rd chapter. I will only upload something once in a week as I am very busy. Idk how I even came up with this story. I randomly edited and edited this and now I am posting this.... Anyways please like this to support me and hope you all enjoy this!!

Genre : Thriller, suspense, murder, romance, action, violence, slight smut (Please not that none of this is included in this chapter as this is the very beginning)

Pairing : Jungkook X Reader

Warning : None (This implies In this chapter only)

Please note that this ff is purely fictional, the characters have nothing to do with this ff in their real life.

Rating : For all

Chapter 1 : Job hunt finished

Y/N was a curious girl. Her parents were really wealthy and supportive of her dreams. She aspires to be a truthful Dectetive. It was her childhood dream to be one. She has the potential for this hard job. She is really smart for this job too. She is a single child for her parents. She just finished the special course for this specific job. She is now trying to get a good job with her outstanding marks. She had already took a interview in a big company.

•Y/N's house•

*Y/N woke up early as usual. Went to bathroom, did normal routine, exercised and finally baths*

She went downstairs to eat something.

Her mother had prepared delicious breakfast. She quickly sat down and ate everything. Y/N's mom was already getting late for her work. She rushed to Y/N and gave her a letter and said bye by running for her work. She didn't even got enough time to tell her what was in that letter.

Y/N read the address and was shocked. It was a letter for herself. She opened the letter with anxiety and found out that she was selected for the interview.

Y/N : OMG I can't even believe it!!!!!!!

She had a pet cat. It's name was Ouka. Even the cat got scared after hearing her scream.

Y/N quickly took her phone right away and typed about this to her mother and father. Her father went to a business trip so he was not at home. She was still in the shock and can't believe her own eyes. She literally jumped up and down in joy like a 5 year old who got chocolate bar.

Then she suddenly remembered that the letter had asked her to contact a number. She saved that phone number quickly but was unsure when to call them. Fortunately her mother called her at the same time.

Y/N's mom : Congratulations my dear daughter. I am so proud of you sweetheart!!

Y/N : Thank you mom, if it wasn't you I maybe wouldn't have even gave this interview a chance. So they have asked me to contact a number.....

Y/N's mom : OK good to hear, just call that number right now. OK??

Bye!!!!!

*Call ended*

Y/N : Guess I will call them......

She gathered up some confidence and made a call to that number.

??? : Hello, this is Aufsty Agency, How may I help you?

Y/N : Well this is Y/N. I just applied for a job interview at this company. I received a letter saying that I was selected for the job.

??? : OK so I am Denise, glad to know that you received the letter. Can you tell me the code on the letter which is marked with highlighter

Y/N : Hmmmmm.......

The director 57

Denise : This number which you currently talking has whatsapp right??

Y/N : Of course.....

Denise: Thank you for calling us. Further information would be passed through whatsapp. Bye!!

Have a great day

Y/N : Well bye, You too have a great day

*The conversation ends*

Y/N quickly passed this information to her bestie, Lia

Lia was online at that time and quickly called Y/N

Lia: Hello Y/N, How are you?

Y/N : Hi, I am fine. You??

Lia : I am also good, you got that job??

Y/N : Yeah I did.....

Lia : Congratulations, see I told you, that your hard work would totally pay off...

Y/N : Thank you so much Lia.....

Lia : So I am kind of like busy right now....

I will come to your house at 5 Pm today

Y/N : OK bye

Lia : Well bye......

*They hung up their phones*

Y/N was a good artist. Whenever she was happy she would draw something incredibly with her art supplies. This usually made her a lot happy. So she was about to go upstairs, that's when she suddenly remembered that she forgot to feed her pet, Ouka. She straight went to the kitchen, poured cat food and served the food to Ouka. Patted her head and went upstairs with her phone.

She took all her art supplies. She has a lot of them. Most of these were gift from her relatives as they knew she wouldn't waste any of these and would use it properly to draw magnificent drawings.

*2 hours passed quickly*

She drew a beautiful masterpiece :

She took a photo of her drawing and moved to drawing gallery.

She went downstairs exhausted from drawing. She watered all the interior plants and the time flew really fastly. It was the time to eat lunch. She went into kitchen and served herself adequate food and started eating.

She finished the lunch and washed the plate.

Y/N's mom returned from her work.

Mom : Y/N, Look what I brought for you!!!

Y/N : What is it mom??

Mom : Close your eyes.....

Y/N : Okay......

*Y/N Closes her eyes*

Mom : Okay now open.....

*Y/N slowly open her eyes*

It was a virtual portable drawing set•9

(Authors note: Virtual portable drawing set•9 is a special drawing set. You don't need any tools, only your hand and just a digital screen. It will open up a blue sheet on the air and if you move your hands. It will identify the strokes and draw lines according your hand movements. It's really costly... And that too version 9 which is the best model out of all the others. This thing doesn't exist, I made it....)

Mom : Isn't this what you wanted for a long time?

Y/N : Yeah mom. You are extremely right. Infinite thanks Mom.

Mom : You do actually deserve to get such an amazing prize. I am really happy that you got this amazing job in first try and you are really young too.

Y/N : I couldn't have made it to this far if you cared about me so much.

Mom : If you need anything please tell me. I am ready to buy you anything you want.

Y/N : Thanks so much mom

*Mom hugs Y/N really tightly*

~Y/N really loves her mother's caring warmth hug always~

Mom : I guess we should throw a big party because you got a job.

Y/N : No mom. Not now. First let me join the job and once we confirm we can throw a party.

Mom : Okay sweetheart whatever you say....

*Y/N gives a lovely smile to her mom*

Y/N : So does dad know about this?.

Mom : IDK, I actually sent a message to him about this but he still wasn't even online just 1 hour before too. He must be really busy.

Y/N : Hmm.... He will call us once he is free so I can tell him about this.....

Mom : Yeah, let me go and freshen up myself...

Y/N : Ok mom...

*Y/N goes back to her room and mother goes to freshen up herself*

~105 kms away~

Jungkook : Ah yes!! I won I won.... Finally!!!

Dad : Come on Jungkook, Let's eat...

Jungkook : OK I will come....

*Jungkook gets up from his gaming chair and goes downstairs*

Mom : Come sit here Jungkook

Jungkook : OK Mom...

*After 15 Minutes all of them finishes their breakfast*

Jungkook walks towards the main door and inhale sharply

Jungkook : Today's climate is very much pleasant. I love this type of weather very much

*Their front gate opens and mail man walk towards Jungkook*

Mail man : Hello Jungkook!

Jungkook : Hello uncle!!

Mail man : Here is a letter for you....

Jungkook : Oh wait it could be about my job

*Mail man hands the letter to Jungkook and Jungkook opens it in such a rush, proceeds to read the letter*

*His doe eyes started to expand so much that it looks like his eyes would pop out of his eye socket*

Mail man : Are you ok Jungkook?

Jungkook : Yes uncle it's it's... Just that I got the job....

Mail man : Wow Jungkook I am pretty much sure you have worked very hard in order to get that job. Congratulations Jungkook!!

Jungkook : Yes uncle I worked pretty hard to get my dream job. Thank you so much!

Mail man : Anyways I should go to deliver the rest of the letters and parcels to everyone. So bye see you later!

Jungkook : Ok uncle get going. Bye

*Jungkook opens the door and run towards the front hall*

Mom : You look really happy. What happened?

Jungkook : Mom and Dad you just won't believe what just happened. I got that job...

~OoOh PaRtY pArTy YeAh~

Dad : Yes I knew you would surely get that job. I am so proud of you my son....

Mom : Yes Jungkook you deserve the job coz you worked really hard for that. I am also very much proud of you too my son....

Jungkook : I should thank both of you for helping me reach where I am right now. If weren't both if you I wouldn't have reached here...

*Jungkook shows his cute bunny smile and tightly hugs both his parents happily. Meanwhile Hyun comes out of his room furious holding a phone*

Hyun : Why are you all so noisy? Let me just talk to my friend peacefully

Jungkook : I was so happy that the fact that I got my job...

Hyun : It doesn't matter me at all. Just shut up and don't make any noise

Dad : Why are you always so rude to everyone? Jungkook is always ready to do anything to keep up with both of your sibling relationship but you still doesn't care about him. You should never forget that Jungkook is your younger brother and he could help you out in some crucial times.

Mom : If you wanna talk so much just go to your room and talk why bother us when the problem has such an easy solution?

*Hyun becomes angry and walks to his room and closes the door loudly*

Dad : Omg it's already 7 : 15, I am gonna be late for work so bye. See you later!

Mom : Let me also go quickly. I will be late for work too...

Jungkook : Bye mom and dad....

* Both mom and dad leaves for work*

~The end~

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 2 coming soon!

#bts #fanfictions #jungkook #chapter1 #kpopfiction #jungkookxreader #thriller #murder #suspense #action #likethisplease

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sadaboutniall · 4 years ago

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Without Fear

masterlist | tag | wattpad

hiya! since tomorrow is thanksgiving I thought it would be better for everyone if I posted this week’s chapter today! hope you like!

Chapter Two. February

give me moonlight, and a smile from you that I can // that I can barely believe — dancing under red skies, dermot kennedy

It comes on slow, the way waves lap up against the shore late at night, when there aren’t many boats out to disrupt them. Over and over, bit by bit, it settles in. The first wave of it bites at Lu’s ankles when her toilet overflows at 6am, leaving her standing in her socks in the bathroom, soaking wet, worrying about the water leaking into the shop below, while Ruairí meows in concern from his spot atop the sink. Frantic, Lu calls her dad, and it goes to voicemail twice before she remembers it’s 1am in New York.

Accompanied only by a YouTube tutorial and the rising sun, Lu manages to fix the mess, shower, and start the day all on her own. Her dad calls back five hours later, and Lu feels like she’s lived a whole lifetime between then and now.

The second wave of it has more venom. She sleeps in on a Sunday—the only day the shop is closed—stirring around 10 because Ruairí is relentless, screeching in her ear, kneading at her belly, desperate for something to eat. Mindless, she feeds him, freshens up his water, makes herself a cup of coffee, pulls out a pastry leftover from Siobhan’s bake the day before, and settles into a spot by the window of her flat, overlooking the sea, all before thinking to take a look at her phone.

Even if she goes 12 hours without looking at her phone, Lu finds she doesn’t miss much these days—she left home on a whim, without a ton of fanfare, and knows full well that she isn’t putting in the effort she should to keep in touch with friends from home. She also knows that’s why she left.

So, most mornings, she wakes up to a few messages in the family group chat, a message or two from her best friend Georgia, and not much else. This morning, it’s different.

208 texts. 12 missed calls.

Lu’s stomach sinks like a stone. Her whole body heats up at once. Her hands start shaking and her heart starts hammering, all before she even manages to swipe open a single notification.

She doesn’t even have the wherewithal to cycle through possibilities. Her brain, hitting overdrive from the start, has no question that it’s bad.

In WhatsApp, Lu finds that her family group chat has 206 messages. She has one separate text from her dad, and a final separate text from her brother. Nothing from her mom.

Shaking, she swipes open her dad’s first. On the counter, Ruairí is sniffing at a banana.

Hi, love, his message says. Figured the number of messages in the group chat is overwhelming. We’re at the hospital with Sam now. All is well, the appendix is out and he’s resting. Mary’s with us, she got back from Honduras yesterday. Good timing. Give us a call when you get a chance.

From her brother, Lu finds a selfie. He’s in a hospital bed, gown around his shoulders. He looks pale, dark circles around his eyes, but he’s okay—he’s smiling, giving the camera a thumbs up. Underneath, the message says I lived, bitch.

Relief coursing through her, Lu lets out a shaky laugh. It’s scarily on-brand for Sam to pull out a meme at a moment like this.

Slowly but surely, Lu’s heartbeat slows to its normal rate. As it does, she scrolls back through the messages from the night before: her brother raising the alarm that he had a pesky pain in his side, their mother, a doctor herself, urging him to get it checked out. There’s a moment where Sam says the doctor is sending him home, and another where their mom urges him to demand an ultrasound, just in case. He does, and they find the appendicitis. Lu shudders to think what would’ve happened had her mother been the one sleeping soundlessly an ocean away.

It’s five am in New York. Lu figures they’re all shattered. Rather than call and risk waking everyone up after what was surely a late, long night, Lu shoots off a text to her dad, asking him to call her when they wake up and sending lots of love. She turns her ringer up all the way so she won’t miss anything else. She feels a million miles away.

####

On February first, Lu wakes up in a cold sweat. It’s still dark outside, but that doesn’t mean much in a place where the sun doesn’t rise until nearly 9am. Still, Lu doesn’t even need to look at a clock to know it must be early: perched on the pillow next to her head, Ruairí is snoring gently, dead to the world, not yet ready to demand breakfast.

Heart hammering, Lu gropes around the bed until her hand closes around her phone, cold. She squints, then sighs, as she checks the time.

4:45am.

Lu is no stranger to waking up mid-panic attack. Sometimes, it feels like choking—like she can’t get a breath down deep enough, to pool in the bottom of her lungs. Other times, it feels like an unavoidable urge to get up, move, get as far away from the space she woke up in as physically possible. Right now, it feels like a stomach ache, period pains, itchy skin, her body trying to tell her that something, somewhere, is going terribly wrong.

Logically, she knows it’s not. She holds her breath, five, four, three, two, one, and checks her phone as her heart jackrabbits away. Nothing out of the ordinary: her mom texted a picture of her glass of wine with dinner to the family group chat, her dad reported the score of a soccer game, her brother sent that he’d managed to run a full two miles today, his furthest since the appendectomy. Everything is fine.

Except for Lu.

There’s no use trying to go back to sleep; Lu knows herself better than that. Heart still working overtime despite reassurance, she slips out of bed as gently as she can, praying that she won’t wake Ruairí. She’s silent as she gets dressed and silent as she tiptoes out of her bedroom, out of the apartment, and down the stairs. The morning is still and dark, but you can hear for miles and miles on Inis Mór, and as she begins her walk the soft, familiar sounds of tractors roaring to life, cows mooing for their breakfast, sheep and goats bleating, remind Lu that she’s not the only one—that others are here too, alive, beginning their day, pushing on. Home. And underneath it all, there is, always, the sound of the waves, constant, crashing against the shore.

####

Lu doesn’t get a chance to nap. She walks, balancing on the edge of the cliffs that overlook the Atlantic, breathing in the sea air and thinking about how the water here, crashing, violent against the cliffs below her is the same water that once lapped up on the shores of Long Island, of Coney Island, of the Rockaways, of home. Seagulls swoop, low and graceful, over her head, over the ocean, and Lu thinks that if she asked her dad to drop a floatie into the Atlantic for her it just might make it—just might wash up here, on the edge of the Earth, the way she has.

She walks and walks—you can walk all the way around Inis Mór and back in under five hours, but she doesn’t have that kind of time. She walks along the cliffs, the white, blinding, otherworldly geology of the Burren, through the grass and the mud and the cow shit, until she’s back at the cafe, windows glowing golden against the rising sun, condensation clinging to them from the inside. Siobhan is pulling pastries out of the oven when she opens the door around 6:30, and Ruairí, curled up on the counter, looks at her, bitter.

Siobhan smiles, “There you are. No worries, pet, I’ve fed him his breakfast.”

She wobbles through the day, exhausted from the panic, the walk, the lack of sleep. She messes up at least two orders—gives Mrs. Duffy whole milk instead of skim, drops Mr. Kennedy’s sandwich on the floor while she’s bringing it over to him—but, as always, no one bats an eye. They touch her arm gently, lull “oh, it’s no bother, darling, we’ll make it right, now,” and the cadence of their laughter carries as she does exactly that. There’s no venom, no rush, nothing to give Lu the adrenaline she so badly needs to make it through the day.

Somehow, she almost forgets that it’s Niall’s first day. But all of a sudden it’s twelve hours later and he’s bustling inside, bringing a rush of cold air with him. The door swings shut behind him and Lu, who had been curled up at the cushioned window seat with Ruairí on top of her in a moment of quiet, jumps. The cat’s only just forgiven her for this morning, and her movement causes him to stalk off in anger. She sighs after him.

“Oh, no,” Niall laughs a little, “sorry, did I interrupt something?” He looks soft and sweet in his dark jeans, his hat pulled low over his forehead. He’s shedding his puffer jacket to reveal a navy blue cable knit sweater and his cheeks are flushed from the cold. His eyes, bright and blue as Lu remembers them, find hers. He smiles.

“Yeah,” Lu just about manages. “He just forgave me, you totally ruined it.”

Niall barks out a laugh, head thrown back, shoulders hunching up. “What did you do?”

“Forgot to feed him breakfast this morning,” Lu sighs. “Siobhan did it, but he held it against me anyway.”

“Ah, well,” Niall shrugs. “I’d be mad too, if I were a cat.”

“S’a good thing you’re not, then,” Lu smiles. “I’m not here to feed you.”

Niall’s still giggling. Lu wonders if he ever stops.

“I’m thinking I might make him pupcakes or something as an apology…” Lu is rambling a bit now, but she’s so tired, and Niall’s so cute, and nothing is real here, anyway. “I know they’re for dogs but I can’t imagine they’re bad for cats? I bet he’ll like those—honestly, I bet he’ll just like knowing I slaved over a hot stove for him. It’s like he can tell, you know?”

It wasn’t meant to be that funny, but Niall is fully cackling, crinkles by his eyes on full display, one hand clutching his tummy. “You’re funny,” he says between laughs. “A bit looney, me da would say—hey, Lu, looney, Looney Tunes. It all makes sense.”

“Isn’t ‘looney’ offensive?” The banter with him comes so easily, Lu doesn’t let herself overthink it. “Think we’re supposed to stop using it.”

“Ah, well,” Niall’s pulling his guitar out to tune, now, “You’re in Ireland now, love. All good nicknames are a little offensive.”

####

The night is mostly quiet, a dozen customers at the most, which Lu thinks is probably good for Niall’s nerves. He’s just as stunning as he was the night Lu first met him, pulling out an arsenal of covers ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Post Malone, somehow making them all work for his voice, for the vibe, for everyone, but he’s shaking—she can see it when he pushes his hair off his forehead, or when he drops his pick on the floor between songs, laughing awkwardly as he bends to grab it. Even with the mistakes, the dropped pick, the few stumbles over lyrics, he’s endearing, engaging, all-consuming. Lu’s meant to be working, but she can’t find it in her to look away.

From her spot at the counter, Lu watches how Niall keeps his eyes trained on the window across from him. He doesn’t seem to be looking for anyone or anything, but Lu suspects it’s easier than looking his audience in the eye—despite the fact that she can see for herself just how captivated they are. It shouldn’t take an hour and a half to drink one coffee and eat one slice of chocolate cake, but that’s how long old Mr. Kane spends in the shop anyway, eyes closed, listening to Niall play.

For two full hours, Niall keeps the shop warm and alive. Everyone is so captivated that Lu barely has to work after all; she leans up against the counter instead, cradling the mug of hot chocolate that Siobhan made her before she left for the night, and taking him in. She barely knows him, and yet.

Lu has seen plenty of nervous first-timers performing in front of apathetic crowds—it was practically her job, after all. She’s also seen more than her fair share of world class performers stunning crowds that want to eat them up, keep them on stage forever, bottle their energy and carry it through the rest of their lives. Working in the music industry, even just as an assistant, for five years turned her hard and jaded, made her feel like she’s seen the seedy, rough, rude underbelly of it all—but she’s never seen anyone perform like Niall before. His unadulterated, all consuming love for music is tangible, even from across the room. This is now Niall communicates. This is how he understands the world. This is how he sees life. Half of Lu feels lucky to hear it—the other half feels sick knowing that his talent is wasted here.

It almost makes her sad to have to close up at 9. Niall’s good about it—he’s designed his set to last exactly two hours, finds a climax in the middle with “Dancing in the Dark” and tapers his song choices toward a slow but steady ending, letting everyone know, without having to say it, that it’s time to head home. Lu doesn’t even have to ask him if he knows how to play “Closing Time.”

Mr. Kane is the last to leave, sticking around a little after nine to shake Niall’s hand and tell him he had no idea how talented Maura’s son is. He talks about Maura—Lu assumes she must be Niall’s mom—while Lu slowly, quietly begins putting dishes away. She likes the routine of this already, Niall’s quiet voice, his booming laugh, his warm presence keeping her company while she settles down for the night. It’s something she could get used to. It’s something, the first thing, she thinks she could miss, if she left.

Niall masterfully leads his conversation with Mr. Kane toward goodbyes, shaking his hand again as he shuts the door behind him. Lu looks up from where she was rinsing a cup to watch as Niall watches through the window to make sure Mr. Kane gets in his car. He waits for the car to start before turning around, leaning his back up against the door, dragging a hand through his hair, and letting out a long sigh.

“Alright?” Lu asks, gentle. Niall’s got his eyes closed, his head back, neck exposed to her. It’s thick and littered with freckles, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. In her chest, Lu’s heart does something funny. She presses her thighs together, tight.

Niall opens his eyes halfway, exhaling a little laugh as he meets Lu’s gaze. She hopes he can’t tell—how could he?

“Yeah,” he says then, standing all the way up and shaking his head. “That was mad.”

“It was amazing,” Lu counters. She gently places the mug back into the sink, bracing her hands against the edge. Part of her is afraid of what she’ll do without something between him and her. “They were so into it. No one could look away from you.”

Her cheeks flush, and Niall catches it. The corner of his mouth pulls up in half a smile as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Ya think so?”

“I know so,” Lu presses her lips together, but it doesn’t do much to prevent her smile. “‘Dancing In The Dark’ was my favorite one; it’s perfect for your voice.”

“Thanks, Looney Tunes,” Niall hums, making his way back over toward her. “Can I help ya clean up? I wash, you dry?”

“Oh,” Lu stills. She’d half forgotten about the dishes still left to clean, the floor to sweep, the leftovers to toss, the counters to wipe down. Her mind stumbles over the best way to go about this: it would be rude to keep him, but, God, she wants his company. She realizes, with a slight swoop in her belly, that she hasn’t felt homesick in two hours. She needs him to stay. “I actually—I have a dishwasher. I just like to rinse everything before I put it in.”

Niall smiles. He comes around the counter to stand next to Lu at the sink, knocking his hip against hers. “Sensible,” he says. It’s quiet. Just for her. “I’ll rinse and put ‘em in. You’ve been stood here all night. What else do you have to do?”

“Uh,” Lu feels like her whole body is vibrating. Her mind turns over itself like an engine that won’t start. “Sweep the floors, wipe down the counters, lock up.”

“Alright,” Niall is so close that Lu can smell his aftershave. Warm, soft, mixed with sweat from his nerves and the smell of his skin. “Let’s do it.”

####

taglist: @missy14us @antisocialsocialclub5 @coconutdawn @ficnarry @bopbopstyles @okaaayniall @theresnooneheretosave @niallgolden @tinyfelthat @adoremp3 @thelifeofbo @crocodileniall @niallsguitarthings @kara-246

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#one direction #1dff #one direction fan fiction #niall horan #niall horan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan imagine #niall #without fear

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qtyanan · 5 years ago

Text

Flashback

Summary: “You and Mark hadn’t seen each other in years. Now he’s famous, and you didn’t think he’d recognize you.”

Pairing&Rating: NCT Mark Lee + female reader ; FLUFF, slight angst

a/n: this is longer than expected, and super sappy, and it took me forever to finish it... but wow, soft mark hours are REAL and im gonna cry over him gn

“Where do you think we’ll be in five years?”

“Mark, it’s like 3am, I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, you’re not asleep.”

You blindly reach towards Mark in the darkness, trying to hit him with a stuffed animal, causing him to snicker. Weekend sleepovers together were pretty normal, sleeping in the same bed wasn’t a worry from your parents since you’ve known each other for so long. Mark randomly saying things and asking questions about the past or future in the middle of the night was more common than sleeping

“Really, though. Do you think we’ll still be friends in five years?”

“I don’t know, probably,” you weren’t really sure on the answer, but you didn’t really have doubts. You two had been friends are as long as you can remember - classes, clubs, and sports were taken on as an unstoppable duo. Now you’re in eighth grade, half a year away from high school, and you’re closer than ever. It seems like nothing could tear you apart - and you liked it that way.

“I bet we will. I hope so, at least,” his voice sounds so sincere, it seems as if he had been thinking deeply on it for a while before he spoke of it.

“Yeah, me too.” With that, he let out a delighted chuckle, and you both fell asleep.

It had been six years. Six years and that conversation still plays in your mind late at night when you can’t sleep, painfully missing your favorite childhood friend.

Not even a month after that sleepover, he moved away, seemingly never to be heard from again. All of your friends in class pestered you about where he went, and it only upset you more - because he didn’t tell you he was leaving.

Him becoming a kpop star was probably the last thing you thought would happen to him; it was quite a slap in the face. BTS got you into kpop, then EXO, GOT7, now you’re into many different groups, including NCT. When you found them, and saw your prepubescent best friend, all grown up, dancing and rapping, you thought it was a dream.

Now they’re on a world tour, and Canada is one of the stops. You could never pay for a fansign ticket, but finally, you managed to save the money to be able to attend.

There were so many people around you. Many had some kind of merch, a lightstick or a sign. You could even count maybe 5 girls crying about meeting NCT.

Your hand was in your pocket, nervously sweating and gripping your ticket - second row, 5th seat. In your other hand, was a baby pink gift bag with a little stuffed animal in it. Years ago, Mark had left the little bear at your house, and it seemed like a nice time to give it back to him. The wait in line outside seemed to take forever, and it added to your anxiety.

You couldn’t understand why you were so anxious. He was your best friend, shouldn’t you be happy to see him? But you were so scared - what if he didn’t remember you? What if you went up to meet him, and he doesn’t even look twice? If you told someone, would they believe you? Of course not. The negatives in this situation made it hard for you to breathe.

The girls sitting next to you on either side both shifted excitedly. One had a mask on and didn’t turn your way, but the other smiled at you.

“Who’s your bias?” She asks, and you couldn’t control your smile. “Mark,” you say, and she smiles and nods. It was hard not to bias him, since you knew how he was off camera.

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’s my bias too, he seems like such a sweetheart!” She squealed in delight, causing you to blush a little bit.

This is it. As your row stood up and walked towards the fansign table, you felt like you could pass out. Yes, you were so excited to say hello to the other members, but it was almost the moment of truth - and you could only think of the bad.

As you took the seat in front of Mark, he didn’t look up at you at first. For that half second, you really admired him. He looked so grown up, you realized just how long it’s been. You suddenly felt a wave of so many emotions wash over you.

“Hi! What’s your name?”

“Y/N”

He had his sharpie in his hand, your album in the other, ready to sign it like everyone else - but he obviously froze. Your stomach dropped, gulping hard. He slowly looked up at you, his eyes wide and mouth open. You almost really did cry, but then,

“Y/n... [your full name]..?” He went quiet, and you smile, nodding at him, trying to hold back your tears.

“Hey, Mark, long time no see,” You chuckle, trying to joke so you don’t actually cry.

“Wow, yeah, oh my gosh, how have you been!?” He said quickly then started scribbling something on the inside of the album cover. You laugh at his awkwardness, shrugging at the question with a little “eh.”

“Here, I brought this for you.” You put the gift bag on the table, causing him to raise a brow at you. “It’s actually yours, from forever ago..” He looked inside the bag, and you noticed him take a big breath. He looked at you with big, glassy eyes - he felt this emotion too, he never thought he would see you again, or if you would even know where he was.

“Y/n... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-” He spoke quietly, but you were being pushed along to the next member by the manager and the girl next to you. You gave Mark a small smile, then shifted over to Johnny.

“Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.” Johnny gives you a little smile, causing you to blush madly. You glance over at Mark, who’s blushing as well, and he gave you a quick glance with a happy smile.

When you finally arrive home, the day seemed like a dream. It was late at night, the drive home was only an hour, but you were tired. You kept playing the day in your head - he recognized you. Right away. That alone made you happy, but what you wouldn’t give to spend more time with him.

Oh yeah, he signed your album, but you didn’t look at it yet. When you opened it, you knew his writing - his signature, and then... a number? He wrote ‘Whatsapp’ in messy letters. Of course, you message him right away, hoping at this hour, he’d answer.

And he did. All you said was ‘hey.’

‘you still live in the same house, right?’

‘yeah, why??’

‘go to the park, i want to see you’

Your heart was beating in your ears. You didn’t think it would lead to that, but at the same time you expected it. It was late, yes, but you hurriedly slip your sneakers back on and go back out to your car.

You remember the park of course. It was mostly fields and trees, but you two would sneak out and play on the swings when you were younger. The last time you two went, Mark fell off his bike and hurt his ankle, so you had to call your mom and you two got in trouble. As you were driving, you snickered thinking about it.

But... You couldn’t help but to feel nervous. It had been years, you didn’t think at all that you were ever on his mind.

There wasn’t a single car on the road. The air was a bitter cold, it had snowed when you were on your way home, but none of it stayed on the ground. Every time you stopped at a red light, your stomach would turn again. You tried to calm yourself, but for some reason, it was just hard. You didn’t realize that you missed him this much. Now he had asked you to meet up at your childhood hangout place, and none of it seemed real.

The gates to the park were closed, and a padlock kept them shut. You knew it would be like that, so you parked down the street and cut through the trees to the lonely swing set. You looked around, you didn’t see anyone. But, sitting alone on a swing, was a single person. In the bright moonlight, you could just barely make out that it was Mark. His back was turned to you, and you could see that his head was hung low, and he was holding himself from the cold.

“Hey, Mark Lee,” Your voice startled him, but he stood and turned to face you. You couldn’t read his expression in the dim light. Neither of you walked closer for a moment, and the tension in the air made your shoulders go rigid. He didn’t say anything for a bit, he just stared at you.

“You look exactly the same.” He finally said, taking slow steps towards you. You look away, afraid to see the look in his eyes now that he’s close enough to see it. His words oddly made you feel warmer, but you still shivered when the wind blew.

“That’s surprising, it’s been six years.” You didn’t mean for your words to sound bitter, but they did. You hear him take in a heavy breath, and when he says nothing, you finally look up at him. His brown eyes glistened in the moonlight, and the shadows on his face made him look mature and defined. “You look different, though.” You say, a dry laugh following. “Older.”

“Well, it’s been six years.” He mocks you in the joking way, and you couldn’t hide your smile. This makes him smile as well, and while you looked away again, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“It’s been... six years...” He sounds breathless this time, like it finally settled on him how long it’s been. This forces you to look back up, and he now has a sad smile. His eyes are apologetic, same as when he tried to speak to you at the event. In a way it hurt you. His face holds pain in the situation, but in a way, this was his doing. He was the one that left to be an idol. You didn’t hold that against him, but you were still upset that he left without telling you. You didn’t think that you two were ever going to part, and you still can’t believe that now his life has gone so differently from yours. He seems to be having an amazing life, but you’re lonely without him, and for some reason... mad.

But the way he looked at you, you didn’t show your anger - it melted away when he put his hand on your arm.

“I’ve missed you, Y/n. You don’t have to believe me, but I think about you all the time.” You wouldn’t believe him normally, but even Johnny said it. “Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.”

You chew on your lip nervously, you have no idea what to say to him. What does a person do in a situation like this? You just stare at him for a moment. He’s closer to you now, and you see just how tired he is. His blonde hair is messy, different from how you saw him earlier.

“Are you okay, Mark? You look... so tired.”

“Mark, please, calm down.” Johnny tries to make Mark sit down, but the younger is pacing across the hotel room, almost pulling out his own hair. “I am so stupid!! How could I not have said more?! It’s been years and I barely said anything!! She probably hates me for leaving...” Mark’s almost on the verge of tears as he speaks frantically, and all he wants to do is scream.

“She came today, so she doesn’t hate you. Just talk to her some more-”

There’s a ding from Mark’s phone. He quickly picks it up, then looks at Johnny.

“It’s Y/n. Oh god, what do I say?!”

“Maybe you should go and see her. You said we’re pretty close to your hometown right?”

“Yeah...yeah! But how will I meet her anywhere?”

“I’ll drive you, just tell her to meet you somewhere.”

The moments that happened before he came here played in his head, but he said nothing to you about it. He just gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“I just haven’t been sleeping well. Surprise, surprise, right?” You just give him an awkward smile. This made you chuckle. He’s always had trouble sleeping, he used to tell you how his mind was moving too fast for him to fall asleep. He always wanted to listen to soft songs to sleep, or he would ask you to sing along to a song you knew well.

“I guess things like that will never change.” You say, and for some reason, your words lingered in the cold air for a moment. Without any thought, you put your hand over Mark’s, feeling how cold his fingers are. You took both of his hands into your jacket sleeves, something you used to do as you two waited for the school bus during winter.

He feels another wave of emotion flood over him, and this time, he can’t seem to keep the tears away. He sucks in a shaky breath, looking down at your hands.

“Mark...” You feel this aching pain in your chest at seeing him like this.

“I-I’m sorry, Y/n...” His voice cracks, and he can’t bring himself to look up at you.

“Mark, look at me.” Your voice is soft but stern enough for him to obey, his body relaxing slightly at the sweet look in your eyes. “I’m not mad at you. I never was.” You tell him, holding on tightly to his hands now.

“R-really?”

You can see his tears glistening in the moonlight, and you release one of your hands to wipe his cheeks. He flutters his eyes closed, resting his face against your hand.

“Really, Mark. I’m so proud of you. I just want you to be happy.”

His lip quivers at your words, and he closes his eyes tightly. “I’m not happy. Not without you being my best friend.”

The feeling his words gave you made you want to burst into tears, but instead, you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you, gripping your jacket with a death grip, as if he knows you’ll disappear any second. You stand in silence for what feels like forever. His embrace doesn’t loosen at all, and you’re okay with it. You miss his hugs, his smell and his warmth. He’s taller and more muscular now, making the way he holds you make you feel even warmer.

“Please... keep contact with me, okay? Please...” You say into his shoulder, feeling a little ridiculous that you begged him like that. He takes a deep breath into your hair as if imprinting your smell into his soul.

“I promise, Y/n. I don’t want to leave you again. God, I’ve missed you so much...” He loosens his arms around you just enough to be able to look you in the eye, watching how the moon and stars seemed to be held in your eyes.

The thought of being able to see and talk to him more made a weight lift off your shoulders. A happy smile forms on your face as you nod at him, and he nods back.

“So, uh... I had to sneak out to see you... I should probably get back before my manager kills me.” He awkwardly chuckles, but even with saying that, he doesn’t let you go - God please, not yet, just a little longer.

“Yeah... My mom might kill me if she finds out I’ve stayed out so late.” You giggle, making his chest warm up. You wouldn’t believe how much he has missed your laugh.

“I’ll text you, okay?” He finally lets go of you, and you shiver from the cold air once again. He nod at him, waving goodbye to him as he runs to Johnny’s car. You stand there for a moment, watching as they pull away. It takes a moment for you to actually comprehend what just happened, and you ended up standing there for almost 5 minutes. Your phone chimes, and you look down to see another message from Mark.

‘get home safe. I love you, dork.’

bitch im so fkin soft

#mark lee #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #nct #superm #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct one shot #kpop #mark lee au #nct dream #nct u #nct 127 #kpop writing

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weeklyhumorist · 4 years ago

Text

Bill Lumbergh Leads a Zoom Meeting

Okay, let’s see here. ‘Join Meeting.’ Yes.

Is…hello? Is everyone on? Peg, how many do we have here, it should be…18 today. I see Samir, there’s Tom. Peter, nice of you to join us.

Okay everyone, this shouldn’t take more than a few minutes or so. I wrote in my email this morning why I have to get going early. Did everyone get it? Stephen has lacrosse in Derryfield and it’s the season opener, yada yada, have to schmooze with the moms, that sort of thing.

Anyway, first I want to point out what an outstanding job some of you are doing when it comes to putting the new watermark on your Google Slides. Dom and I have been working through all the kinks, a little of this, a little of that, and we finally got it where it needs to be so that you can use it. So, if you all could go ahead and, uh, use it, that would be fantastic.

Now, about Slack. It seems there have been some problems lately when it comes to people not responding to messages – how should I say this – quickly. I’ve talked with Bob and Bob about this and we feel like this is a good sign of whether or not someone is a team player. We’re going on month eight of working from home, so by now you should be treating this as if you’re at your desk or otherwise within my line of sight.

If you really are having a browser issue, you can’t go wrong with Internet Explorer. Those other ones are a little too…a little too flashy for my taste. And if it’s an app issue, well, reinstalling it usually helps. Like I’ve always said, your smartphone is only as smart as the person using it. So, if there’s no technical problem – and I won’t single anyone out, Michael – if you could save the Netflix and the Hulu for after hours, that would be fantastic.

Which reminds me, actually: even though we’re not in the office, and that’s really, really too bad, we do still have a dress code. What it comes down to is that we feel it improves employee morale, and therefore company productivity. But I’ve been doing some, you know, thinking, about this, and since these are such stressful times, I’ve decided that from now on, Fridays will be Hawaiian shirt day or t-shirt with animals day. So, if you want to, you may participate accordingly. I think Nina in Accounts may have a few top-of-the-line items for just this occasion!

But on a serious note, we will be doing a bit of – how do you say – restructuring in the coming months. Weeks, actually, if the timeline holds. You see, Payroll informed me that we really needed to clamp down on overtime, and Bob and Bob and I thought, “Hey, why don’t we just cut off a few branches instead of, you know, having to rake up a bunch of leaves every weekend,” so to speak. Yeah.

Oh, I almost forgot: a reminder to fill out the Personnel Contact Form so you can be reached if Slack is down or if there’s…another issue there. All we need is your cell, two personal emails, your Instagram and Twitter handles, your LinkedIn, Facebook and any dating site profiles, your Snapchat and Skype username, your Signal, GroupMe, WeChat and WhatsApp number (if different than your cell), your YouTube channel and your TikTok account. Tumblr is optional.

That about does it, so I’m going to go ahead and let you go now. Stephen’s birthday is on Thursday, and since normally I know you all would sign a big, big card for him, instead I’m going to record his game this afternoon so you all can watch it tomorrow morning before work. Shouldn’t take longer than an hour and a half. I’ll be going live on Periscope at 4, actually, if anyone on the 8 to 4 schedule wants to catch it then. Either way, please use a work device so that I can confirm on Hubstaff that you’ve seen it all the way through. Anyway, that would just be fantastic, I know he’d really, really appreciate it.

Alright, I will see you all soon, hopefully in person. But I do have this…feeling that with our luck this year, and with everything that’s been going on, the office would probably, I don’t know, burn down on our first day back or something. Imagine that, yikes!

Okay, thanks for your input, Initech Initiators. Be well.

‘Leave Meeting.’ Yes.

Bill Lumbergh Leads a Zoom Meeting was originally published on Weekly Humorist

#Bill Lumbergh #bob #funny #humor #initech #office space #other bob #slack #WFH #zoom

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sirene312 · 5 years ago

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oh GOD guys…. You have no idea the crusade i had to went through just to be sitting here, with my dear computer working again, and enjoying the joy of 1.9 Mbps internet connection speed. First thing on the front page of my dash was three shitposts on a row, new niche memes, and good ‘ol fandom drama. god how I missed this hell site.

In case anyone wants to know what happened, I will put behind a ‘read more’ the story of a missing computer part that quickly become a detective mission, that dragged me unwillingly into the wild ride I didn’t signed for when pressing ‘buy’ on an online store.

TL;DR at the end bc this is very long. English is not my first language so please bear with me!

Okay, some of you may know a bit about me since apparently i don’t have a “dude shut up! Stop oversharing your woes!!!” button on me but hey here are some things to know about me in case you are curious: I live in Venezuela and not having internet is my personality trait, living in my country is very hard, hard like trying to play the Rainbow Road of Mario Kart but you have butter on your hands, your eyes are closed and you are running on the rain while there is a 8.0 earthquake happening. That hard. I work as a freelance graphic designer and make art commissions so me and my family can survive the economic crisis on my country, having internet and a working computer is a really big deal, like literally we eat thanks to it. Now you see how that would led me to spend a whole month chasing and stressing over a stupid part my computer needed.

Back in December, remember last season of “what’s troubling Sirene now?” where i spend almost a month without internet and then yay internet is back! for like two days? well, after Christmas there was a sudden power cut one night and i was on my computer working on a commission but since this is now a common occurrence i didn't think anything of it …until next day when i tried to switch my computer ON it didn't. I tried everything to revive it, grabbing anxiously my hair, walking on circles, and pressing continuously the power button, you know everything, but it was in vain. It’s dead, Jim. As you can imagine i had a breakdown when i realized i won’t be able to work anymore and needed to buy a new power supply since this one was toast…and was without internet friggin again. AGAIN. I survived till now using my crappy phone data but heavy apps hardly load, tumblr/ao3/twitter sometimes loaded if i refreshed them like a madman.

My computer is a tiny model and has a power supply that apparently is made by beavers in Narnia, because is so uncommon that the only stores that sell them are on my Capital city two states away from where i live. Knowing this, there is not other alternative for me but to use a online store and shipping the package here, in theory sounds simple right? a reminder that this is a third world country, where everything is falling apart and barely holding it together with chewing gum and prayers, what are the odds of something going wrong hmm….

Okay, this happened in the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve, so of course all stores in my country decided to go on vacation and return on January. I impatiently waited for two online stores to be back on business that have the power supply i need, they were physical stores too so i thought i would be safe. i liked one more than the other and, as i told my friends, i felt like a telenovela protagonist that was on a love triangle with two galanes but the hotter one was in coma and the other just had 3 episodes in, meaning that the better rated store was still offline and the other was online but only had like 3 products sold …not very reassuring but i desperately needed to start working again so i went with that one. Big mistake.

Everything started on Tuesday, January 14.

Mercado Libre is a page where people sell things like Amazon, this is where the seller of the power supply was, after you click on buy, you can see the seller info and a chat to talk to them, i wrote but there was not immediate response so i called, i spoke to a woman and she told me to text her on WhatsApp, that should have been my first red flag, if the app had a perfect chat option there why text outside of it??

whatever, i went and text her, asked when would she send the package and she told me “tomorrow” the shipping company she was going to use is called “Zoom” (remember that name bc it will be mentioned a lot) when you send something they give the sender (the store) a tracking number the sender should give YOU in order for the shipping office (Zoom) in your city to give you the package. (this number is important)

this was my first time buying anything online so i didn’t know any of that just vaguely knew how it worked, so i asked her if she the next day would give me the tracking number or the shipping company would call me when my package was on the shipping center? and she told me “both, i will give you the number and they are going to call you” I said perfect, thank you very much and thought ‘hey that went well!’

Unknown to me, for the next 10 days i was going suffer a weird and painful skin reaction on both hands, and man…it was bad (tw graphic description of a skin condition ahead) the skin on the palm of my hands completely fell off, and it burned like i had scraped my hands on the sidewalk and someone was pouring lemon juice on them. Ouch. as you can imagine all my attention was on what was going on with my hands. I still don’t know what could have caused that severe reaction.

With difficulty texted the woman on Monday 20 i asked again for the tracking number but she said “i’m waiting for the bike delivery guy to give me the number but your package was sent” so she -the store seller- dont go personally to Zoom to send the packages and some else does, i tell the woman again to give me the number as soon as she has it, bc Zoom has an app you can check your package rute and status with that number, she said “okey amiga”.

That week, i could barely lift a fork i was suffering from whatever it was that happened to my hands until my mom found an Aloe Vera plant and i started to rub that gooey, viscose gel thingy on my hands and was slowly getting better, (seriously guys, Aloe Vera plants are a godsend keep one or 10 at home) by the time i suddenly remembered about the package it was Friday 24 the woman didn’t text me anything like she said would do and i didn’t receive any calls either all week, so friday i text her asking again for the tracking number and oh yes finally she has it! My happiness was short lived because……THE PACKAGE WAS RETURNED.

Something occurred and there was an error on the address or something (I triple checked all my personal info was in order before i gave it to her -thanks anxiety!- so i know it was not on me) i was so furious if only the woman had given me the friggin number sooner that week, i would have realized there was something wrong and would have gone to the Zoom on my city where the package was being held before it was returned to the capital. She told me she would send again my package that Friday BUT Zoom only works mon-fri not weekends. Now I need to wait till monday to receive my thing. great.

Monday 27 rolls in and that week i proceeded to text the woman EVERY SINGLE DAY asking if she had sent my package, i hated being a nuisance texting so much but it was necessary, money is getting short and we need food.

On Wed 29 I even texted her a desperate plea, i told her please i need my power supply to start working again! and you know how she responded? BY LEAVING ME ON SEEN. i called her until she answered and she told me “oh i sent it today” she assured me, in the most unsure voice she could muster, that she totally did it.

So I went the next day to the Zoom office and surprise! it was a lie, she didn’t send anything, nada! again asked her for the new track.num. and she told me “amiga the thing is that …the package has not arrived here. is still in your State.“ [*record scratch*] hmm whAT?

I immediately called Zoom and asked them to tell me where my package is? Where is it!?, it’s still in my city or in the Capital?? So they gave me a number for the returned package to check on the app and…said it arrived at the Capital Fri. 24. Not only that but it was marked as "given to the client” aka the sender.

Now I realize this woman has been lying to me. For a whole week. I text her screenshots of where the package was and she tells me that supposedly the package is not on Zoom there and insists it is here in my State. A friend knows someone that works on Zoom that checks their database and confirms that no, is not here anywhere and that definitely arrived in the Capital. even shows that a man named A. Rodriguez was the one that picked up the package. Who is this man?? what's going on?

here's a meme i sent my friends in the group chat while i was trying not to freak out about all this.

This has become a "she-said, he-said" situation because the woman keeps insisting Zoom is the one at fault about the whereabouts of my missing package but Zoom says Hold it! And slaps continuous evidence that shows the places where the package has been at all times.

Meanwhile I’m like “where the hell is my power supply??? All I want is to work. Why is this happening to me?” ;_;

So far what we know:

Package arrived in my city but was returned to the city of origin (the Capital) on Friday 24.

The following week the store seller lied to me and would everyday promise to send the package again to me. and never did.

On Thursday 30 the woman tells me that the package never arrived from my city and she’s waiting for it to “arrive” but the shipping office tells me the package was returned a week ago on Fri. 24 so it’s impossible that it has not arrived. not for nothing they are called ZOOM they deliver fast.

the app even says “given to the client”, and one thing I know for a fact, is that it is near impossible to pick up a package from there without the friggin tracking number, they won’t even give you info about it without it. so it’s very unlikely that a random person just walked away with it.

so we have two possibilities:

1. Someone from Zoom stole it. Ok, feasible. Corrupt people working on this kind of service in my country steal things of value all the time. still i doubt this was the case, the company seemed really concerned and would try their best to help me find my package giving me all the info i requested, even the name of the person who took it.

2. the store seller lied again and the man who took the package is the same bike delivery guy that transported it there in the first place. That's how they were able to take it from there so easily. She denied knowing anyone named A. Rodriguez but she has lied before so i don’t trust her word. To me, this is the more likely scenario for what happened to the package.

February comes and still I have no idea where is my package and the woman keeps making excuses as to why she “hasn’t found it” she again leaves me on seen after I asked for information, next day I called her non stop because now I’m pissed and i want answers, she finally text me that she will send another power supply since she “couldn’t find the first one” no further explanation whatsoever, and tells me will send it on Friday, but remember that Zoom don’t work on weekends so the new package will be staying on the Zoom office until Monday, my friend tells me that is not good what if the thief works there and steals it again? so I asked the woman to send it on Monday and she tells me that only Tuesdays they send all their stuff to be delivered….now she tells me the store have a specific delivery day? Now?

I’m not happy about waiting for more days but there is nothing i can do about it so February 11 is here and I send the woman a text telling her to take a photo of the receipt with the tracking number so the story of the first package won’t repeat, and guess what? The woman left me on seen!! you don’t know how that blue seen mark got me shook. that stressed me so bad that finally I had enough, my friends encouraged me to cancel the order and ask for a refund, I stopped texting her on WhatsApp and left a ultimatum on the Mercado Libre chat, that way I had proof on that page of the fraud this woman was pulling on me and could get her banned there. I should have done that before but the need to repair my computer blinded me and was what kept me trying so hard to get my power supply. Desperation can drive you to make foolish decisions.

After my ultimatum, the woman changed her tune and was very solicitous, and replied super fast, even said on the chat “let it be noted we are a serious company and always answered all your messages” yes, she said THAT, can you believe the audacity, the nerve? I immediately reply “since you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday, can’t fault me for expressing here my concern about my purchase.” Then I said very politely but with finality that if she did not send me the photo of the receipt with the tracking number the next day I would not hesitate bitch to ask for a refund. And what do you know? Worked like a charm. The next day the first thing in the morning on my phone was a photo of the receipt.

SO yes this unnecessary long story has an anticlimactic but happy end after all! Next morning I happily went to the Zoom office and after a whole month of countless lies, unanswered texts, blood, sweat, and tears, I picked up mypower supply. Reunited at long last! This happened on February 14. Valentine’s Day. Love -and being persistent af- always wins!

TL;DR I bought online a new power supply, the seller tried to scam me or something bc lied about how my purchase was “lost” saying the shipping company was the culprit. Sending me on a wild goose chase trying to find my package. i had to threaten her with a refund to get her to send me finally my power supply.

#this is why i disappeared for a while #can't believe this drama lasted for a whole month #but im glad its finally over

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demaury · 5 years ago

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boys online. chapter 1. (social media influencers au)

7916. 124. 10. These are the numbers that define Eliott and Lucas’ relationship, either they want it or not. 7916 kilometers between them, from Paris to Vancouver. 124 days since they first said ‘I love you’ last spring. And nearly 10 hours, until… well, until they meet for the first time. (ao3)

It’s around 8 at night, and Lucas is already halfway done packing when the truth hits him square in the face with the strength of a truck launched at full speed. “I’m going to be sick,” he stammers, wide eyes falling on the two folded pairs of boxers he’s holding.

Oh boy. He’s so going to be sick. He can feel it, the way his stomach is churning painfully and his eyes are flickering from one corner of his vision field to the other. The worst part is that he has no idea why it’s hitting him now, but all of a sudden there’s a fucking precipice opening in the middle of his bedroom and threatening to swallow him for good.

From the bed, Manon peers above her phone. She’s sitting on a pile of wrinkled clothes that he was absolutely sure he had already packed up. “I already told you there’s nothing to worry about taking a plane. You’ve done it before.”

Lucas’ eyes snap up at her. “I’m not scared about taking a plane,” he huffs, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat is suddenly thrumming behind his ribcage. He’s taken tons of planes before, and he never gave it so much as a second thought. “I’m scared shitless about Eliott.”

Manon quirks a brow. “Eliott,” she repeats flatly, almost in a deadpan, “the guy you’ve been in love with for at least six months and that you’ve been dating for three of them.”

Lucas glares, throwing his pair of boxers in the mess that is already his suitcase. “Eliott, the guy who’s seen me in person only fucking once.”

Fuck he thought he was handling it well, the whole ‘I’m meeting my boyfriend for the first time’ thing, but apparently he isn’t, and it had to dawn on him the night before he’s set to leave for the other side of the ocean to spend two amazing weeks with the one person on Earth he’s been dying to touch and kiss and hug for six fucking months.

“You’re facetiming like, six times a day, and you guys met once already, as you said,” Manon waves. “He knows what you look like, relax.”

“It’s not about-,” he snorts, but his voice trails off.

It isn’t about what he looks like. He’s not self-conscious, he knows he’s cute and he knows he can be hot when he sets his mind to it — even back when he was in the closet he had more game with girls than his straight friends. It’s just that he’s suddenly terrified. Terrified that maybe, justmaybe, they might not be as compatible as they think they are.

“What if I’m a bad lay,” he blurts out, hands falling to his hips.

“Did you ever get any complaint?” Manon asks bluntly.

“No,” he scoffs.

“Then you’re not a bad lay,” she shrugs. It’s a fucked-up logic and he’s dying to speak his mind about it, but she’s already leaning forward to glance at the content of his suitcase, her phone dropping between her crossed legs. “Honestly, it sounds like you’re just trying to find excuses to worry at this point.”

“Like you weren’t a mess when you met Charles after IFYE last year,” Lucas retorted, “and you guys were just hanging out back then.”

Their manager had shipped him and Manon to Toronto the year before to attend IFYE (the International Forum for Young Entrepreneurs) and they had met a bunch of people there, including Charles and his buddy Alex who had launched an app putting together companies and students looking for summer jobs. Manon had immediately awarded Charles the ‘biggest self-entitled jerk’ title, only for them to start dating six months later — something that Lucas isn’t anywhere near to let die down.

Manon squints her eyes at him but doesn’t bother replying, settling for rummaging through his suitcase instead. She exhumes one of the pair of boxers he stashed there two minutes before, a camouflage-patterned one he hasn’t even meant to take with him in the first place. “I don’t think there will be any problem with him peeling the clothes off you,” she says, “but let’s put all chances on our side.”

Lucas gives her a look and snatches the underwear from her hands, before shoving it back in the safety of his underwear drawer. “You’re not helping,” he grits out, scowling, as Manon laughs entirely too long at her own joke. “I’m freaking out because, like, what if he doesn’t like who I am? Or what it’s like being with me? What if he’s just too cool for me?”

Manon rests her elbows on the edge of his suitcase. “It’s going to be just fine. You’re freaking out, and it’s okay, but I can assure you it’s going to be alright. Eliott loves you, the real you, and you’ve been sharing stuff and caring for each other for months now.” She tilts her head. “So what if you two never kissed yet? You guys want to be with each other, and trust me, plenty of people who do kiss and do tons of other stuff beside kissing don’t want to be in a relationship nearly as much as you.”

Lucas purses his lips, running a hand through his hair. “Damn, what is it like when you don’t take it seriously,” he mutters.

Manon huffs a laugh. “Alright. You know what? You’ll want to do a lot of things when you’re there and none of them is ironing your wrinkled clothes,” she says, frowning at the amount of clothes he shoved haphazardly in his luggage. “Bring me something to drink and I’ll see what I can do with your pathological inability to fold clothing items.”

It takes him a second to nod and decipher whether he can trust her with his stuff, then he goes to the kitchen. It’s not like he’s got something to hide from her, they’ve known each other for four years now — as long as he’s been in Vancouver, give or take three months — but he blames it on the everlasting side-effect of being in the closet for a bunch of time and having to watch his every move even at home. To this day he still isn’t sure if his dad is okay with his sexuality and just doesn’t speak about it with him because they are an emotionally constipated single-parent home, or if he’s just acting like nothing happened — like Lucas never came out to him — out of sheer denial. Even the fact that his dad’s the reason he hasn’t been able to fly to France sooner doesn’t quite provide a defined answer.

“You’re not flying to the other side of the world just because you met someone on the internet a month ago,” his dad had decreed when Lucas had first brought it up, last spring, and that’s when Lucas had been reminded how bad being 17 sucks. He’d been making money, meeting people, flying for business purposes, signing contracts, and yet up until last July and his 18th birthday he was unable to meet with his very own boyfriend simply because his dad wasn’t willing to allow him to leave the fucking country.

No need to say he wasn’t thrilled when Lucas told him he was leaving a few days ago, but he didn’t make an attempt to prevent it either. “Just promise me you won’t see your mother without me,” he had said. “If you want to go, I’ll go with you, but I’ve got too much work right now to leave everyone hanging, so we’ll see about that next Christmas.”

Lucas had shrugged, because going to see his mom wasn’t really a part of the plan, but he had promised anyway and that was left to that. His dad is a notoriously very busy man and so the amount of time Lucas is spending with him in a week is generally narrowed down to a quick hello and a quick goodbye every now and then, so he can’t say living with him is terrible by any means. He mostly lets him do the things Lucas wants to do, and in exchange Lucas doesn’t ask him too many stuff and certainly not to be overly present at home — it’s a good compromise, and certainly better than Manon’s parents not giving two shits about her.

Since he’s good at multitasking, he dedicates his right hand to opening the fridge and picking up a soda can for Manon, while the left one automatically reaches up in his back pocket to retrieve his phone. There are loads of notifications from Instagram and several from YouTube, but he ignores them and goes for the whatsapp conversation he has with his boyfriend instead. Eliott went to bed about an hour ago and up until now he wasn’t even angry at their six-hour time difference (like he usually is), because for once it allowed him to focus on the matter at hand (packing everything), and not on his (incredible, amazing, adorable) boyfriend.

Yeah. That was ten minutes ago, before he started getting fucking anxious. He sets the soda can on the kitchen island and starts typing.

you're just going to make fun of me, but, like, i’m panicking

He looks up and nibbles on his bottom lip, eyes trailing around in the kitchen as if the pieces of furniture could give him answers. All of a sudden he’s glad he didn’t start packing up before, because otherwise the freak-out would have happened much sooner and the last thing he wants is to make Eliott feel guilty or concerned or whatever emotion that is not happy for too long at a time. Maintaining their relationship through the last couple of months wasn’t the easiest thing to manage, but they resolved early on to be honest towards each other. Is that something that is worth getting Eliott concerned about?

Nah, he decides as he erases the text. Instead he sends a few heart emojis, because that’s something Eliott deserves to wake up to — and certainly not his boyfriend freaking out —, grabs Manon’s drink and goes back to his bedroom.

Fifteen more hours.

He’s got this.

Thirty minutes already.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

It’s not like Eliott is throwing the words at any given opportunity, but he’s literally running in the airport like a lunatic, slowing down and slightly ducking his head every time a member of the security or the staff is squinting at him a little weirdly. It takes forever to make his way through the crowds of people coming back from vacation, and he nearly loses his calm behind an old lady babbling with her husband after she stops for the third time to fish god knows what in her purse.

It all started wrong, in complete honesty.

Thing is, he’s had trouble sleeping for weeks now, mostly because his mind is constantly racing with project ideas, and editing has been taking so much time lately that he always ends up going to sleep at ungodly hours. It’s already a problem in itself most days because he’s getting up at 6.30 to get to work at 7.30 — not to mention that he’s been trying to hide it from Lucas not to worry him —, but when he ends up oversleeping because he forgot to plug his phone in before falling asleep, it’s an even bigger mess.

Truly, waking up to Idriss slamming his flat hand on his front door until he wakes up isn’t how he envisioned one of the most exciting days of his life to begin — not that the follow-up has been any more exciting so far. Six hours a day, five days a week, for four months now, he’s been selling frozen yoghurts in the same restaurant where Idriss is waiting tables, and after a few weeks of freezing cold AC and rude people, word spread out that Eliott, aka srodulv on YouTube, was apparently available for a chat during his work hours — after that it had been three more months of tiny skirts and cheeky doe-eyed customers refusing to take no for an answer, Idriss making too many jokes and his boss being entirely too satisfied with the idea of whoring him out in order to get more customers.

His contract ended two hours ago, and the prospect of being able to squeeze in two weeks between that moment and the schoolyear starting off at the Fémis school, two weeks with his long-distance boyfriend, has been enough to survive one last day selling stupid banana flavored frozen yoghurts —until Idriss whined enough to drag him home to celebrate with a beer, that is.

“No plane ever landed on time, relax,” Idriss huffed when he said that Lucas’ flight was supposed to land in two hours.

Well, Idriss would fucking hear from him, because not only Lucas’ flight is on time, but the asshole who refused to buy a fucking bus ticket and insisted on walking by the front door anyway well and truly delayed Eliott more than what his nerves could handle at the moment. Hence the running. You’d think that reaching the airport would be the end of the nightmare, but no, he found out exactly five minutes ago that he can’t get a wifi signal for the life of him, and that the flickering crumbs of 3G (3G for god’s sake!) aren’t enough to send Lucas a whatsapp text to tell him he’s on his way.

He stops running as soon as his phone dings, relief washing over him when he reads Lucas’ name on the notification.

i'm waiting at starbucks 💖💗

Eliott looks around. He’s in the hall K. If he’s guessing right, Lucas is probably not gone wandering in another hall just for the sake of it, so he scrupulously follows the signs indicating various newsstands and airport shops until he spots the familiar logo, in all its green glory. There are a few customers waiting in line and others spread out, sitting at small tables. His eyes are trailing over the unknown faces a couple of times before he has to admit Lucas isn’t one of them.

It’s a mess. Last time, when Eliott went to Vancouver, Lucas had been waiting for him right after the customs area and they didn’t even have to text each other — it was literally that simple. And, alright, he indeed was pretty excited to meet Lucas for the first time back then, even though they were just friends, but it wasn’t anywhere near as exciting and stressful as it is now. He turns around, ready to get worried and upset, and starts searching the crowd of passing strangers. A family of four eventually leaves his visual field at a snail’s pace, and that’s when his eyes stumble on him, almost on accident.

Him.

Lucas.

Eliott’s left paralyzed for a solid minute, drinking in the sight of his boyfriend, his Levi’s shirt, his skinny-jeans, his messy hair, and he feels shy, almost too shy, to make the four or five steps separating them. Too shy, to get over the way his heart is beating and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip long enough to call out the only name he thought about for the last few months, to everyone else’s dismay.

Turns out, he doesn’t need to. Lucas looks up, a little blankly at first, then they make eye contact, and his eyes widen comically, and fuck if they aren’t the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen-

Before he can even think about it his feet are surging forward, without a single care if he bumps into other people on the way. Lucas’ jacket drops from his hands, falling half on the ground and half on his suitcase, and it lasts a second, barely, between the moment Eliott finally started moving and the moment Lucas jumps in his arms, but it’s both the shortest and the longest second of his life. Lucas throws his arms around his neck, and Eliott lets out small laugh as he’s forced to take a step backwards not to drag them both to the ground, hunching a little forward so that Lucas can stop tiptoeing despite it being the most endearing thing in the world.

He can’t even remember how many times he’s been thinking about this, the simple feeling of Lucas’ weight in his arms, and he isn’t sure if he’s ever going to find the right words for that — but he doesn’t care, Eliott decides as he buries his face in Lucas’ neck, not when his boyfriend is here. He allows himself one last sniff of his new favorite drug, taking one more second to breathe Lucas in, before he pulls away, and reaches up to cup Lucas’ face with his hand — he’s not sure, but he thinks Lucas’ eyes are suspiciously bright.

“Damn,” Lucas whispers, voice rough, letting his hands rest on his chest as he relapses his embrace, “I forgot you’re so tall.”

Eliott smiles, chuckling a little, and lets his thumb graze over the sharp edge of his cheekbone. “And I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”

“Aren’t you the cheesiest,” Lucas huffs, grinning.

A few months ago, when Lucas started planning this trip to Paris, they briefly discussed the fact that plenty of influencers took opportunities like these to make some views out of meeting their loved ones in tearful reunions. Frankly, putting himself out there wasn’t Eliott’s strong-suit and he was relieved when Lucas said he wasn’t planning on making someone film them.

“You aren’t going to regret it, right?” he had asked, a bit nervous.

“Nothing about it is worth making you feel uncomfortable,” Lucas had replied with a casual shrug.

Yeah. Now he regrets it though. He wishes he could have recorded it somewhere, just to replay it whenever the distance gets too much. He, the cinema student, in the most prestigious cinema school in France, didn’t think one second to put his embarrassment aside for the sake of filming.

The irony.

Lucas is staring up at him, blue eyes a shade as deep and dark as the ocean, and Eliott feels his heart swell. He doesn’t quite know who leans in first, and if they both did, how on Earth they knew it was the right moment, the perfect second even, but they do. They lean in and Lucas’ lips meet his own in the softest manner, gentle and warm, somewhat cautious in the pressure he puts into them, but it’s more than enough to make Eliott’s heart burst and the last couple of months seem more bearable.

He’s right.

He’s in love, and he’s right, and nothing else matters — not even the sick pleasure of knowing how fucking wrong they all are.

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