#since their romance of getting a hot dude or sexy wife in the end kind of make sense in reality

[catmaid-san]

The Story of a Fat or a Nerd

It is sad how many stories or movies about "fat girl or fat boy finding happiness" Are filled with the ending for the said fat boy/girl becoming thin and turn into a pretty maiden or a handsome lad.

... As if when they aren't thin and look handsome or pretty, they wouldn't find happiness or find love.

Look, being fat due to uncontrollable consumptions on junk foods and due to being lazy to even just walk around campus or neighborhood is not good, and should be fixed. You have to eat a better diet, and you have to exercise even just walking around the house a little, not for appearance, but for your health.

But some people are also fat due to genes, stress, post childbirth, etc. It is sometime are inevitable cases. And the journey of losing weight is not a matter of one day or two days. In reality it could even be years. So, during those years when you haven't lost your weight and still being fat, are you not worthy of happiness in that case, when the standard of achieving happiness is put on the time when you finally being thin and slim?

I think stories about fatties finding happiness should have been more focused on the journey of how they perceived themselves, finding their value within themselves, being confident and accept who they are, finding their passion and meeting truly sincere people who don't judge others by appearance---rather than telling how they spent a month or so fervently running/jogging or dieting in extreme to lose weight and "finally being accepted" By the society and finally meeting a loved one after losing the weight.

Those kind of mainstream stories or movies about the change of a fatty are just straight up telling "unless you are slim and thin you won't be happy".

This is just sad. Those won't make the people with extra weight gain their confidence but just trampling on their self-worth instead.

It is similar to how stories about a nerd glow up. As if when you aren't dressed fashionably, as if when you wore glasses instead of lenses, as if when you just have a normal haircut instead of fashionably styled---you won't get happiness unless you get a glow up.

But the thing is, you can just have a presentable clothes on the right occasion (don't wear jersey on formal occasions bitches), properly comb or tie your hair, ironed your shirt (getting your clothes all wrinkled will affect first impression, human naturally love tidy things instead of messy ones), wash your face and body (get that dirt and body odor away, even if you aren't good looking at least you won't make people uncomfortable by being near you) , and most importantly, has your confidence---you don't need to glow up to find happiness, it is okay to live like an average normal people. You can still function perfectly in society without having to glow up. The most important thing is to present yourself properly and have your confidence.

Sadly, movies and literature are also filled with how this one nerd glow up by wearing trendy clothes, cast away their glasses, get a stylish hairdo, and put on a pretty make up---for this nerd to finally be noticed and accepted by the society.

Not all people have a good senses of fashion to continuously wear fashionable clothes. Just let these people wear something basic as long as they match with the occasions.

Not all people like wearing all kinds of accessories or putting on complicated fashion sets. Just let these people wear classic suit and pants/skirt.

Not all people have the time or patient putting on complete make up with the eyelashes, shadows and the likes. Just let these people wear sunscreen and light make up to protect their skin.

What a nerd in reality need the most is never a glow up. They need a chance to find confidence to accept themselves. And the hopes to meet sincere people who aren't being a dick by trolling and bullying others when they have nothing to do. This is what they need, and should have been the focus in movies or literature to encourage them.

This is also what I, and other people who aren't fat or nerdy, need. So that we, the masses, will realize that fat or nerd people are just normal people in the end, each with their own value and goodness.

We don't have to wait for them to lose their weight or get a glow up for us to change our view and change the way we treat them!

That should be the target, the goal of every fatty or nerdy journey to change-movies or stories...

[keishajay]

I meant for this whole review to go in one post, but damn, I had a lot of complaints, way more than I thought once I started writing them down.  Some are nitpicky; most are related to characters and writing choices.  For the fans of this series, I did enjoy this series for what it is, but I’ll never defend it as great literature.  It’s Sharknado levels of fun, and I live for stupid shit like that.  For the haters, enjoy.  Oh, and spoilers ahead.

Now, on to the cons, and hoo boy, are there a lot of them.  First, I was shocked to see this was labeled book 7 and not 6.  I had no interest in reading Tower of Dawn, as it was marketed as a side story novella.  Kingdom of Ash expects you to have read it and spends little to no time explaining who all these new characters are.  It’s not confusing, just annoying for those of us not invested in Chaol’s story enough to read the novella.  If you like Chaol, more power to you.  I just didn’t care enough about what was a sure outcome to waste my time reading a novella about him and only him.  Nesryn goes with him as well, but she was barely a character in the fifth (fourth? I don’t know anymore) book, more a cool background piece than a real person.  That’s not nearly enough for me to pick up an entire book.

Maas brings in four new “personalities” from Tower of Dawn that really just take up space and fawn over Aelin, just like everyone else.  Hasar is just a crabbier version of Aelin; Sartaq loves Nesryn and that’s it; Yrene is Chaol’s wife who’s a healer and that’s it; and Borte likes arguing with her fiance.  They might be more interesting in ToD, but here, they just read like cardboard cutouts.  They’re unnecessary and boring.

And speaking of unnecessary, there are WAY too many POV characters in these books.  What started with a handful of mostly essential characters has now become a library’s worth of them.  Even Lysandra’s ward, Evangeline, gets a couple POV bits to herself. Why?  They added nothing to the story aside from remind us that she was there and still alive.  More POVs should only ever be added to further the story or themes.  I kid you not, Elide and Lorchan are together for 90% of the last two books, and for some reason, they both have POV chapters.  Elide was already established and should’ve been the only one necessary, but you know, Lorchan’s hot so we should hear him angst too.  And that is all he does, by the way, angsts over Elide.  Hell, by the end, I was a little surprised Abraxos didn’t have his own POV chapter.

Maas also adds nonsensical things in to ramp up the drama.  The worst offender is the character Darrow.  He and TWO other old men boss Aedion around throughout this entire book, because... reasons, I guess.  They don’t recognize Aelin as queen, fine.  But they’re three old dudes against Aedion, who literally commands their entire army and the fire-bringer all the people in their whole country rally to.  If anyone can give me a logical reason why Aedion didn’t just ignore every order they attempted to give him, I’m all ears.  Instead, he tiptoes around them constantly and outright steals his own army from under their noses to do what he wants anyway.  Why?  They all know damn well Aelin is the rightful queen and they wouldn’t even have an army without her and Aedion.  She could crush them under her thumb, and they all know that too.  Hell, Aedion’s treason would even be forgiven in moments when she took her throne back from... no one.  Darrow isn’t even trying to be king of Terrasen.  He just doesn’t like the idea of this bratty teenager being his queen, and who can blame him?  Yeah, I know she wants her country to be different, but she can’t change anything from the sidelines when the old rules are the only things keeping those men in power over her.  There is no good reason for Aedion to obey any of their orders.  They can do nothing to stop him, and they all know it.  They are literally only there so Aedion has someone besides Lysandra to be pissed off at.

Speaking of Aedion being pissed off at Lysandra.  For the haters out there, yes, he has every right to be mad at her.  She may not have been the one to come up with this insanity, sure, but she knew Aelin suspected it might be necessary.  Telling the one person who foams at the mouth anytime someone gets within spitting distance of his cousin that maybe something terrible could happen to her, making this plan necessary, should be at the top of your to-do list.  She knew damn well what she was doing and how he would react the entire time Aelin was teaching her to play pretend.  He should be angry with her for not telling him what was going through Aelin’s head, not for following the orders of their queen.  Yes, him throwing he naked out in the snow was a major dick move, and I’m glad that she didn’t let him forget it.  What I don’t condone is his reaction to seeing Aelin again.  He just hugs her like nothing ever happened.  He’s an asshole to Lysandra for months, but he just forgives Aelin for everything as soon as he sees her.  I’m sorry but no.  I would’ve forgiven the entire conflict between him and Lysandra being tedious if he had just punched her in the face before he hugged her.  God knows she deserves it for all the shit she’s pulled over the course of six books.

So, I hate Aelin Galathynius.  Like straight up hate her.  She went from being a brat in the first few books to being the worst case of Mary Sueitis I have ever seen outside of self-insert fanfiction.  First, she’s a secret princess, a “twist” anyone with a brain could see coming.  She’s also somehow the best at everything she does, even though she shows no evidence of any of it.  How does the country’s best assassin get caught?  On top of that, how does anyone even know who the country’s best assassin is?  Shouldn’t hiding your identity be rule number one in the assassin handbook?  This shit-licker could’ve been any happy-ass teenager with a knife pretending to be this famous assassin when they caught her.  How would they know?  Answer, they shouldn’t have any idea (that would’ve also made for a much more interesting story).  So, not only is she the best at everything she tries for reasons, she’s also the only one in the whole damn world with fire magic, the only thing that can hurt the demons for a majority of the series.  And she doesn’t just have regular old everyday fire magic.  No, she has fire to rival fifteen suns going supernova at the same time.  She’s also the prettiest and smartest and nicest and snarkiest and funniest girl in the world.  She outsmarts someone thousands of years old who could’ve snapped her neck or dropped her in to a literal Hell with a flick of her wrist.  But no, Princess Mary Sue wants her new boytoy free, so the villainess has to get tricked into letting him go.  Now, let’s not forget she’s also the Chosen One who deus ex machinas her way out of sacrificing herself because no one can do anything without her there to save the day.  Seriously, no one ever wins anything unless she’s there.  It happens more than once in this book.  Her boytoy and company show up to rescue her from aforementioned villainess just as she’s breaking herself out, and they can’t get her chains off until she somehow shows them how to unlock them.  She then proceeds to get them out of the country through her magic of summoning deus ex machinas whenever she needs one, and they arrive just in time to rescue Chaol and Nesryn from certain doom.  She stops a cascading river with fire because science, and when all hope is lost back home, she shows up on a magical white deer with the Rohir- oops, I mean her army.  She also somehow holds off two of the most powerful creatures in the world with her assassin skills and barely any magic, because... villains have to lose, I guess.  You know what Aelin loses by the end of the book?  Her humanity, which she suddenly cares about ten pages before it’s gone.  Aedion lost his father and at least half an army at his command.  Manon lost the only people she really cared about in the whole world, and she could do nothing but watch them sacrifice themselves.  And Aelin lost her humanity when she’s already been living as a fae since book 3.  Oh God, how will she ever survive such a loss?  She is actually the worst.

These books, this one in particular, are clearly written with a younger audience in mind (much younger than me at least, and I’m 30), and I strongly believe the target audience is girls.  There is so much description of how beautiful the men in this series are that it almost borders on obscene.  I do appreciate having a clear picture of what characters look like, but I do not need to know about all the rippling muscles and long fingers that all the men in this series seem to have.  Even bookworm Dorian is described as being oh-so-sexy even though he doesn’t appear to have ever handled a weapon in his life.  There is a lot of pandering to the female audience, especially with the sex scenes.  In a YA novel, these are pretty inappropriate.  She started with sex scenes being a fade-to-black kind of event, and now, almost every single one is described in disgusting detail.  I like romance as much as the next girl, but if I wanted soft-core porn, I’d read romance novels.  To top that shift off, she still insists on using “rutting” as a substitute for “fucking,” and I think that’s what bothers me the most about the whole change here.  They are completely interchangeable in every context, to the point where I just read “rutting” as “fucking” every single time.  This isn’t Brandon Sanderson’s silly but story-appropriate swearing.  It’s just lazy writing.  And detailed descriptions of sex are okay, but swearing?  Someone call Takamata.  We need to start the Inquisition. (History of the World reference for anyone confused.)

This story ends exactly as you should expect it to, with a happily ever after.  None of the main characters die, and those with names go out as sacrifices, which is honestly consistent with the rest of the deaths in this series.  The deaths we do get are mostly to make the main characters feel bad for no real reason.  Aedion even flat-out states that Gavriel could’ve stayed inside the walls, and there is no argument, author or characters, as to why he had to go outside.  At least the Thirteen’s sacrifice makes more sense.  It was still pretty dumb to have them go out at all, but I don’t know if I could come up with a better way to destroy those witch towers.  What they did was noble and understandable in context, though there were probably any number of ways it could’ve been avoided.  I’ve seen Desolation of Smaug.  Just drop a dragon/whale/elephant-Lysandra on top of the tower before they even get it fixed up to move again.

One last complaint that I have regarding the ending is largely the villains.  There are three of them, and all three kind of go out like bitches.  Erawan, the dickhead pulling the strings since book 1, gets tricked and healed to death.  There are a lot of millennia-old creatures getting tricked into doing stupid things in these books.  Manon’s grandmother (who never gets a name by the way) gets blown up by Asterin.  Honestly, hers was probably the most satisfying end of the three because Asterin got the vengeance she deserved for her hunter and child.  Maeve somehow became the biggest threat halfway through the series, and she meets her end in the most extravagant fashion, impaled by Fenrys and then decapitated by Aelin and burned to ash.  What irritates me most about Maeve is she could’ve been great.  If anyone has read the manga, Magi, you know what I’m talking about.  Maeve is discount Gyokuen with half the threat and less than a quarter the sense.  Where Gyokuen is highly capable, both as a fighter and a politician, Maeve is kind of a pushover who gets tricked by our “heroes” numerous times.  She’s shown preparing for all sorts of unlikely eventualities, but she somehow can’t handle the plucky teenagers.  Give me a break.  From the moment you meet her, you know Gyokuen is going to be one of those bad guys that will require some clever thinking to defeat.  I felt like Maeve could just be snuck up on and murdered by anyone who knew her schedule.  Her last ditch effort against Aelin was clever, but other than that, she barely puts up a fight despite all the fear and hype she gets from almost every character in the book.

Now, like I said above, I did enjoy these books.  I don’t feel like my time was wasted or that I was manipulated by them at all.  I had fun with them the same way that I have fun with SyFy channel original movies.  The characters and story had so much more potential than what this amounted to, but I don’t hate this series at all.  Yes, the subplot with the gods was idiotic and unnecessary, but the valg were interesting as an enemy type.  Yes, the romance shoved down my throat could be awful at times, but some of the relationships were genuinely sweet.  Chaol and Dorian are the best bros, and I love Lysandra taking it upon herself to protect this little girl when she could’ve looked the other way.  Manon’s relationship with Asterin was great as well.  Do I wish it was better?  Absolutely.  Should it be boycotted by everyone?  Of course not.  Despite their problems, these books are fun, fluffy, popcorn movie fun, and sometimes, that’s just fine.

[mythicalmodernity-blog]

OK so since @tom-hiddleston-god-of-mischief and other people showed interest, I bumped up my schedule and so... Here is my ‘Craig is totally gay and was in love with the MC in college’ post! So, first off- this is Craig Cahn and the thing that made me first think that he was gay instead of bi. (And fyi I am a Bi myself, so this is more headcanoning and exploring character and not trying to stomp on other headcanons, jsyk.)

Yeah the very first time we met. But look- divorces do happen, and do happen in a chill manner. But... let us note a couple things. One, the divorce literally only happened ‘last year’. Which could mean anywhere from (assuming this is the spring due to college letters and school timetables) 12+ to only 3-ish months ago depending on what counts as ‘last year’. You only get a SECOND of him being uncomfortable while breaking the news before he is on even ground and is like ‘yeah it’s old news and everything is in perfect order now’. AND THE DIVORCE HAPPENED EITHER WHILE SMASHLEY WAS PREGNANT OR JUST HAD RIVER. Now, this could be a him lying, except... it’s never really brought up again as a thing? Like, we deal with Mat’s feelings for his dead wife, Joseph’s failing marriage, and etc but despite how recent it was we are lead to believe their divorce was perfectly amicable despite the timing.  (Now placing a cut here because this gets long and has more pics.)

My theory is that it’s because Craig, who emphasizes the Romance in bromance, was open to Smashley when he started going ‘wait... I think... I’m not attracted to women???? At all???’, but that is a lot to unpack and Craig is the overachiever who is desperate to be great and responsible on all levels, so I imagine it was a long process of discussions and figuring stuff out and recognizing their marriage was failing, and maybe a couple final sexy times to confirm whether or not he really WAS attracted to women, because if Smashley isn’t just as much of a bro as her name implies I Will Be Disappointed (and I mean, not just doing it for Craig, but also sex is fun and he’s sexy and she loves the dude who is her bro and husband). River was the result of that near the tail end of their marriage. That also explains the age gap between River and the twins, if she was the result of years of sex just never happening, and then it suddenly WAS happening because Confusion and Confirming if the Marriage is Really Dead And I’m Gay. Not to mention Ok she goes by Smashley (while in her late 30′s/early 40′s), was the kind of cool person who probably hung out with the MC who has the possibility of being a trans gay man- so she’s probably not bigoted and to a degree Gets It, and so really when the marriage ended it was fine. Now, we’re gonna put a bookmark into this and come back to it near the end for a finishing move, but now we are gonna lay down the ‘...and Craig was in love with you in college’ bit.

This is how we get re-intro’ed to Craig. Doooooeees anyone remember the ‘so I was kinda plain back when we knew each other in school but now we are meeting again years later and I got hot and suddenly you’re noticing me and I had a crush on you years ago and I’m suddenly realizing I never really got over it holy shit’ cliche? From Craig’s perspective, this is what this is. Look at how happy he is by you complimenting how he looks. And before you go ‘well... it’s a compliment!’, think about all the compliments he gets in his first date from other people and how he reacts to THAT. Yeah. And it should be noted that, out of all the Bachelors, he is the only one who asks you to go out with him first. To ‘catch up on old times’, yeah, but it’s a break from the narrative with the others. Joseph invites you to the neighborhood grill event and possible counseling, but other than that? Craig is literally the exception here. And not only does he go ‘Hey you should come jogging with me!’, he then FOLLOWS UP BY BADGERING YOU WITH MULTIPLE TEXTS LITERALLY THE NEXT MORNING AFTER YOU MOVED HOUSES. THE BLESSED THIRST OF THIS MAN.

And what does he do the first time you meet up? He tells a story from your college days. But the funny thing is, the first thing he recalls about it is not some epic stunt they did together but... how you vowed to make him feel better. This is what Craig remembers about you. Not so much the epic bro who did epic things with him- nah, we know from some other stories you/the MC was often on the sidelines watching and worrying at times. But he remembers that you CARED and did something utterly ridiculous for him to make him feel better. And the way he tells it, it’s not ‘hahaha remember that time you stole a fish for me in the most stupid fashion possible’ (which is how the MC remembers it). Nah, he tells it like it’s the Best Story Ever, a Tribute to Your Bro-hood And Why You Are Awesome. And the thing is, I’m not sure if Craig has had someone be there for him like that for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, my headcanon is that Smashley was awesome, but she was busy too. And a chunk of Craig’s romance revolves around needing someone looking out for his emotional wellbeing, which you always had his back on. And then, the first official date happens.

Look. In most other dates you are only get a kiss on the final date. Some have some hand holding by the second, but you go straight to flirting and forehead kissing on the first here, leading to a very Unimpressed River. (I love her.) And LOOK HOW MANY POINTS YOU SCORE WITH THAT. Like. LOOK AT ALL THOSE EGGPLANTS, SWEAT, AND HEARTS? THAT IS A LOT. And that is AFTER he turns down a bunch of moms, after he talks about being ‘too busy’ to find someone. But the MOMENT you hint at him giving you a kiss, even ‘teasingly’ he does and is all. over. it. First date after roughly 17-ish years of not seeing each other. Oh, and earlier in the date, when you go ‘I’m sure someone will come along for you and fit right in?’ That was another big scorer. Because he hopes you mean yourself. And earlier on he kept on apologizing for not being able to be alone with you, and actively takes you back to the empty baseball field where he knows literally NO ONE will be. That’s not a ‘maybe we should go to a coffee shop and be by ourselves’, that’s... setting up a atmosphere man. That’s a hopeful move. That’s a ‘I just want it to be the two of us, even if it’s just for a second’.

This leads us to the second date, where you display you are a good dad to his baby and are not a dick about inconveniences. (Important in Craig’s route, man.) But here I want to bring up Why I Think He’s Gay. Because even when the Waitress is not hitting on him before this, he kinda just... wants it to be the two of you again. He kinda ignores her a bit. And then when she interrupts you/the MC and hits on him... man he gets super sad/uncomfortable really fast. And he gets uncomfortable ALL THE TIME when women hit on him. Now- many of these women are nice, motherly types. The Waitress was hilarious with River before hitting on him.  But he shows less than 0 interest. It legit bothers him. Because he just recently is slowly accepting he’s gay, then you just happen to come back into his life after he moved back and the divorce was finalized (though I wonder if his reasons for moving back to Maple Bay didn’t happen to include a vague hope or two there), and he can’t get a moment with you without a woman hitting on him and making him feel weird and kinda guilty and heeeey doesn’t dealing with internalized homophobia suck ass. And then, the third date. Which is aaalllll about you two being Alone, with a capital A. Now, here I want to briefly touch on my bookmarked Smashley bit, because she is totally cool with taking the kids in for a couple days (which, good since she is their mom), when if all of the above is a correct interpretation she KNOWS they are gonna bang. Like. I’m just saying. (Let us take a moment to picture Smashley talking Craig through things and being like ‘Bro, you can do it. You can make this move. Just first swimming opportunity? Strip, your butt will call to him.’) And ok even if this DIDN’T happen, if Craig was going on a overnight vacation with a guy when I knew he was attracted to men, and this is a friend he gushes about and kinda adores? Yeah she knew. And was cool with it. But my final piece of evidence your honor in the ‘Craig was in love with you back in the day’ is this lil’ series here.

HE. MAKES. THE. FIRST. MOVE. AND PROGRESSES IT HELLA FAST. You move closer? Oh he turns over towards you immediately with his head close enough to breath on your neck. You turn over? His eyes are opening and his hand goes to your waist. You both go in for the kiss, but immediately after he confesses to you. And here’s the thing... this happens whether or not you end up together. And while the other bachelors have emotional moments leading up to the confession/kiss which might overrule their ‘Oh I don’t actually want to end up with this guy’ brain, this is a chill, quiet moment. A chill quiet moment which IMMEDIATELY leads to sex if you interpret the final lines of the night that way. The only 2 other bachelors you are implied to immediately have sexy times with on the 3rd date is Joseph because of high emotions, hopes, and a failing marriage and cheating, and Mat who is on a high of playing for the first time in forever and realizing you enable him to do it and WOW. oH, And Hugo I think? Need to replay but once again- he just went to a wrestling show, met his hero, slammed his horrible student in glorious fashion, and wrestled you. I’m just saying, emotions high in every case... except Craig’s. So, on the ‘bad end’, why would Craig do all this if it turns out he ‘didn’t mean to lead you on’? Maybe it’s because it’s something he’s been thinking about off and on since college, and then it was ALL HAPPENING, and then... it happened, and it wasn’t like he thought, and he realized you weren’t what he thought anymore. In the bad end, he still gets some kind of closure on his feelings. But in the good end, let’s think about this. ‘Feelings I can’t deny anymore’. How long has he had those feelings? How long has he DENIED them? If in the very first date, after not seeing you for 17 years, he was desperate to spend alone time with you and leaped at the chance to give you a forehead kiss.... I say it’s been a long ass time he’s had those feelings. And that is my ‘Craig Cahn is hella gay and was in love with you in College’ post. Thanks for reading.

[wtffundiefamilies]

What Would Jesus Watch?: Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

I wasn’t expecting this to be fundie blog material (I’m not sure why I didn’t see it coming, though) so I don’t have material for a proper review, but I couldn’t just let it pass on by.

Okay, first of all, the reason I saw this?  My mother saw it and immediately said “It’s the worst movie I’ve ever seen; you have to see it.”  Now, we’re talking about the person who watched Birdemic with me.  And she demanded to watch this with me when I finally got around to it, because she needed to see it again. 

My mother isn’t generally a “so bad it’s good” person (unless it’s airing on SyFy), so I figured this movie had to be something.  I HAD NO IDEA.

I don’t know where to start with this.  So I guess the beginning?  There will be spoilers, but, uh, I don’t think being spoiled will ruin it for you.  You’re not gonna be watching for the brilliant plot.

- Tyler Perry is clearly in awe of his brilliance using the “someone telling a story” framing device.  We can tell because the woman hearing the story weepily asks “So how does the story end?” and the one telling it says, attempting to convey great depth, “It’s still being written.”  Mind.  Blown.

- The person telling this story IS A GODDAMN MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.  SHE USES THE ENTIRE SESSION TELLING THIS UNHAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN HER “SISTER’S” LIFE STORY.  That is some fucking unprofessional shit.

- Yeah it’s obvious from the TITLE that her “sister” is actually her.  You ruined your own attempt at Shyamalaning us, Perry. 

- I’ve already forgotten the main character’s name, so let’s just call her Jurnee Smollett because MICHELLE’S SASSY BLACK FRIEND FROM FULL HOUSE IS THE LEAD IN THIS.  Fellow 80s-borns, she still makes certain faces where she looks exactly like she did as a kid and it is WEIRD.  (She’s absolutely gorgeous though.  Most of the movie is spent trying to make her look “frumpy” or “negatively slutty,” but neither is all that convincing.) 

- The long and short of the story:

1) Jurnee Smollett is married to a guy she’s known since they were kids.  He’s nice and reliable but dorky (he tries to seduce her with a guitar and a cowboy hat.  I guess it’s supposed to be funny but I’ve never felt so embarrassed for an actor in my life), dull (sex is to only take place in the bedroom!) and a little insensitive (he forgets her birthday two years in a row!).  And his dream in life is to own a pharmacy, which I can only assume was so the final scene would work.  Because that’s a weird dream for a movie character.

2) Jurnee Smollett’s mom is a preacher, naturally.  She loves Boring Guy, and he loves her.  To the point where it’s getting a little Oedipal.  She drops a bunch of lines about how Jurnee Smollett doesn’t call her to join in on morning prayers any more.  This, of course, will be important later. 

3) Jurnee Smollett ends up working with a super-rich, super-handsome, super-sexy dude and they do the thing.  On his private plane.  It’s kinda rape but kinda not because she’s telling him no but she’s also into it? 

4) They end up having an affair.  Rich Dude shows a million red flags but she ignores them because women are stupid and he buys her a lot of stuff which is all women care about right?

5) BTW Jurnee Smollett’s boss is played by Kim Kardashian.  Let this sink in a little bit: Kim Kardashian gives the best performance in this film. 

6) Things come to a head when Nice Guy confronts a drunk and high Jurnee Smollett at a bar.  She tells him he’s a good man but she needs an extraordinary man (ouch), he begs her to come home, she wants a divorce.  He has a fit of “intense acting” that’s incredibly funny and storms off in his truck.

7) Jurnee Smollett’s mom invades her apartment with a gaggle of church ladies and they all pray for Jurnee Smollett’s soul.  Jurnee Smollett comes home to reclaim her laptop (Rich Dude is going to replace all her other stuff).  Her mother wails and sobs and begs her to reconsider.  Rich Dude shoves her mother down so they can leave, and is then outraged when Jurnee Smollett “takes her side” - to her credit she is fucking furious with him, but for some reason still goes home with him.  She says she’s going out to give him space to cool down; he beats her into hamburger instead.

8) Nice Guy is it his friend/coworker’s apartment (she’s played by Brandy, btw; remember Brandy?) and tries to kiss her; she has the sense to tell him no, they’re not into each other and he’s just sad.  WHY ISN’T SHE THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?  She’s the only person in this movie who has any damn sense.

9) It’s revealed that Brandy is HIV+ positive, but she’s owning “her part in it” because she knew her abusive ex-husband was cheating on her and she slept with him anyway.  Because your husband’s infidelities are somehow your own fault, I guess.

10) Shocking twist #1 time: RICH DUDE IS BRANDY’S EX.  Nice Guy freaks out and runs off to let Jurnee Smollett know what’s up.  When he shows up at Rich Dude’s place, she’s barely conscious but still begs him to take her back.  He’s like “LOL no.” 

That’s about where the story fades out and the woman in the counselor’s office is moved to tears.  She’s going to stay with her own boring “roommate” husband now, because she sees what happens when you don’t Do the Right Thing.  Oh, and Jurnee Smollett totally did get HIV from that guy.

The marriage counselor goes off to a pharmacy and OMFG IT’S NICE GUY!  HE HAS HER HIV MEDS FOR HER!  Because yeah her sister was actually her, in what would be shocking twist #2 if not for the movie’s title.  Nice Guy, because he may have been kind of a crappy husband but at least he didn’t hit her or give her HIV, has a hot wife, an adorable son and his own pharmacy.  Jurnee Smollett, meanwhile, looks half-dead (I don’t think Tyler Perry knows a lot about modern HIV treatments; I guess you could argue that this movie was set in the 80s, but there’s NOTHING to suggest that it isn’t contemporary except we see Jurnee Smollett using a wall phone once, and plenty of people still have landlines, and most people know that cell phones show affair tracks like crazy; plus Brandy is totally fine and healthy throughout the film) and is Forever Alone.  But she’s calling her mom for prayer time and going to church again, so Everything Happens for a Reason! 

So, moral of the story, stay in an unhappy marriage or otherwise you’ll be beaten up and get HIV.  And you’ll deserve it!  If you’re a bad person, HIV will make you much sicker than if you’re a good person who owns their responsibility for their husband giving them HIV while they were still married.  But if HIV brings you back to Jesus, it’s all worth it.  And if you don’t beat or cheat on your wife, you’re automatically a great husband who deserves the world.

I’m like 99% sure that Tyler Perry wrote this to convince himself that it’s okay that he’s kind of a shitty husband who takes his wife for granted because he hasn’t given her HIV.  Like.  The whole tone comes across as really defensive.

There are nonstop shots of DC at night, which would be nice except he uses the same three shots over and over.  It’s some Hanna-Barbera shit.  None of the actors give passable performances except for Kim Kardashian, and I assume it’s because of how they’re directed, because I’ve seen Jurnee Smollett in other things and she was perfectly good . The music is tailored to narrate the story.  Literally.  The lyrics spell out what been happening over the course of the film.  It’s every bad Lifetime movie and romance novel cliche.  Overall, it’s fitting that Tyler Perry’s studio logo is a giant TP, because this movie is barely fit to wipe your ass with.  */*****, one out of five Tater Tots.

But definitely see it, because it’s entertaining as fuck.

[32flavasshoetique]

Swedish mail order brides have been attracting males from the western

Swedish mail order brides have been attracting males from the western

Gorgeous girls that are scandinavian and draw attention effortlessly. Those blond gorgeous have big appeal among males through the United States. A look that is different the very first thing that guys notice. There is pictures of stunning mail-order that is swedish at internet dating sites and even attempt to talk to a few of the girls.

Attempting to get yourself a mail that is swedish bride is a desire of plenty of contemporary males. You may already know Russian, Polish single adutch brides and Ukrainian brides may also be quite popular, nevertheless, “free” in the head Westerners, those girls are way too old-fashioned. In the event that you nevertheless wish to marry a international girl, gorgeous Swedish females can tick all of the boxes. Swedish Brides are appealing, they choose equality in marriage, it works and supply when it comes to family members and are hot.

Getting A swedish bride is like finding a fantastic lover and a closest friend. Should this be what you are searching for, then wedding with a female from Sweden can perhaps work away completely for your needs.

Continue reading this article in order to find reasons why Swedish singles become perfect brides for males through the United States, just how to date them and exactly what mail purchase bride solutions to utilize to meet up with those blondes that are cute.

Why Many Westerners Want Dating Swedish Women?

Swedish brides are sexy and charming, there’s no question about any of it. But, it can’t end up being the only reasons why Westerners wish to date them a great deal. Along with our worldwide relationship professionals, we discovered 5 reasoned explanations why girls that are scandinavian popular among Westerners:

They Will Have Natural Splendor

Swedish ladies for marriage are of this most well known since they look stunning. You may already know, many girls listed here are blinded, face blue eyes and light color epidermis. But, you are able to meet women with dark locks too. A number that is big of girls are fit and also great figures, still, you can view pictures of curvy women. Swedish may be petite also high. Frequently, their height is approximately 160-175 cm. Those Westerners whom see Sweden when it comes to first-time, genuinely believe that all of the girls from the roads are models. You should have the impression that is same you begin using a relationship platform and view pictures of single feminine Swedes.

Swedish Brides Select Equality in Wedding

While you are working if you want to get a Swedish wife, don’t expect her to clean the house, cook Neal’s three times a day, and sit at home with kids. Swedish women enjoy working and can’t imagine their life without one. Swedish Brides hate whenever men let them know how to proceed once they dominate and believe that their spouses don’t well worth to obtain salaries that are high. An effective Swedish bride is a girl who would like to have a similar legal rights as a person. She works, she spends free fine to you or her buddies, she does sport and she enjoys traveling. In the event that you take to to create a housewife of the Swedish partner, your wedding will unlikely work down.

They Value Family

Pretty girls that are swedish maybe perhaps not in a hurry to have hitched and also young ones. Unlike Russian and Ukrainian girls who attempt to get hitched and also have young ones by the chronilogical age of 25-30, Swedish brides don’t put age structures. Swedish Brides research, work, enjoy their life by traveling, investing great deal of the time using their friends, etc. Nevertheless, it does not signify they don’t value family members. Swedish individuals are family-oriented in addition they reside young ones however they frequently have hitched and start to become parents nearer to their 40s.

They truly are Keen On Traveling

Swedish females get one hobby-they want to travel. They arrive from the developed and country that is rich the values for located in Sweden are extremely high. Therefore, Swedes can effortlessly manage to travel around the globe. When you yourself have the exact same pastime, then chances are you have actually a really high opportunity to develop an enchanting relationship fast and discover a lot in accordance. By sharing the exact same pastime, you and your Swedish gf will end up a family members considerably faster.

Swedish Ladies Are Particularly Intimate

Lots of males see Swedish brides as arrogant and cold, nevertheless, all of it goes when you are getting to learn a woman closer. Swedish individuals are shy and reserved however they are open-minded, chatty and funny once you become people they know. Swedish spouses are romantic, passionate, hot and sensual. Simply offer it some time become familiar with A swedish woman who you love better. Swedish Brides love plants, intimate times, and gift suggestions, therefore keep this at heart whenever dating a lady out of this nation.

Therefore now you understand 5 information about Swedish girls for wedding and certainly will realize why a lot of Westerners want up to now and marry them. It’s time and energy to discover exactly exactly what mail purchase bride solutions will help you get knowledgeable about stunning girls from Sweden.

Top 5 Mail Order Bride that is swedish services

These websites are opted for with subjective standpoint but taking under consideration their intriguing and appealing features that can certainly make your remain on these websites enjoyable. There are numerous good websites to go to, however these web web sites can be worth your attention, yet always be careful and vigilant when using any web web site whenever you want.

VictoriaHearts.com

Signup at Victoriahearts.com mail purchase bride service and date girls that are beautiful Stockholm, Malmo, Gothenburg. Seek out hot brides from around whole Sweden and talk to as much girls have you been want without leaving your house. Find your perfect and hot bride from abroad and develop a significant relationship online. You shall enjoy fulfilling sweet Sweden females, communicating with them and viewing their pictures.

MatchTruly.com

Another amazing relationship platform that may provide you with meaningful connections which help you to get familiar with a big wide range of solitary Swedish women for wedding is MatchTruly.com. Sign up for free, produce a free account, include your pictures and flick through informative pages with pictures and videos. Buy credits to deliver girls text and vocals messages, make movie calls, purchase presents distribution, request their email address and see their photos that are private. You are likely to enjoy spending your spare time here.

ValenTime.com

Velentime.com dating internet site is yet another legit and affordable in terms of dating that is international. This platform possesses much larger choice of Swedish ladies than neighborhood sites that are dating Sweden. Signup for free and seek out your personal future wife that is scandinavian the town, age, marital status, kiddies, degree of training, career, faith, ingesting and cigarette smoking practices, plus the relationship kind that you will be interested in. The website shall enable you to find matching brides by learning your profile. Therefore, don’t delay filling and registering in your profile with information regarding your self.

JollyRomance.com

The following dating website that will assist you to find your own future Swedish bride is named JollyRomance. The key top features of this relationship platform are advanced interaction tools, in-depth search and algorithm that is matching. It gives an amiable user interface and effortless navigation. Jolly Romance mail purchase bride solution will see you appropriate brides so you won’t need to flick through a huge selection of pages, viewing pictures and delivering messages to women that may well not search for exactly the same things as you. Start conference sexy Sweden babes now by registering inside a clicks that are few.

RomanceTale.com

The very last dating internet site that one may join 100% free today and discover exactly how good it really works is named Romance Tale. This international dating internet site has an enormous experience and a huge selection of success tales to fairly share with brand brand brand new people. Get familiar with pretty ladies from big and cities that are small Sweden whom look for international dudes up to now and acquire hitched to. Enroll, offer your information that is personal and your needs to your prospective bride. If you’re looking for a female for wedding, choose “marriage” as being a relationship objective and satisfy brides who will be interested in exactly the same. Have actually a great time fulfilling charming young and mature brides from Sweden, talk and establish relationship that is romantic.

Just exactly What you think about these five dating platforms? Select a Swedish spouse finder that suits your needs perfectly. See each one of these mail purchase bride solutions and test them. Each provides free enrollment, in order to do an effort period and select the platform that really works the most effective for you personally.

Conclusion

Swedish ladies are wonderful. They combine independence and romance. It works difficult but they could be gentle and soft. Then you will enjoy browsing through profiles that belong to hot Swedes if you dance blonde women. These women have lots of attention from Westerners, therefore should always be persistent if you would like obtain A swedish girlfriend. These ladies might appear bashful and reserved once we have mentioned when you look at the article however it shouldn’t stop you.

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