#since that one post of mine blew up here's this one :)

[orpheusismefr]

[archaeren]

Hello!! I hope you're having a good day ^^ I came across your post about writing non-linearly on Notion and I'm excited to try it out because the advice resonated with me! Though, I'm really new to using the app and, if possible, need help with how to do this part: 'where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry.' ;v;

Hello! Thank you so much for messaging!!! Since that post about writing non-linearly (linked for context) blew up roughly ten thousand times as much as anything I've ever posted, I've been kind of meaning to make a followup post explaining more about how I use Notion for writing non-linearly, but, you know, ADHD, so I haven't done it yet. XD In the meantime, I'll post a couple screenshots of my current long fic with some explanations! I'd make this post shorter, but I'm unable to not be Chatty. XD (just ask my poor readers how long my author notes are...) (There is a phone app as well which syncs with the desktop/browser versions, but I work predominantly in the desktop app so that's what I'm gonna be showing)

(the table keeps going off the right side of the image but it's a bunch of unimportant stuff tbh) So this is more complicated than what you'll probably start with because I'm Normal and add a bunch of details that you might not need depending on what you're doing. For example, my fic switches POVs so I have a column for tracking that, and my fic follows a canon timeline so I have a column for dates so I can keep track of them, and I also made columns for things like if a scene had spoilers or certain content readers may want to avoid, which they can access in my spoiler and content guide for the fic. (As I said, I'm Normal.) I also do some complicated stuff using Status and estimated wordcount stuff to get an idea of how long I predict the content to be, but again, not necessary. Anyway, you don't need any of that. For the purposes of this explanation, we're just gonna look at the columns I have called Name, Order, and Status. (And one called Part, but we'll get into that later) Columns in Notion have different types, such as Text, Numbers, Select, Date, etc, so make sure to use the type that works best for the purpose of each column! For example, here I'm using Select for Character POVs, Number for Order and WC (wordcount), and Text for the In-Game Date. Okay let's get into it! Name is a column that comes in a Notion table by default, and you can't get rid of it (which drives me up the wall for some purposes but works totally fine for what we're doing here). As you can see on the scene I've labeled 'roll call', if you hover over a Name entry, a little button called 'Open' appears, which you click on to open the document that's inside the table. That's all default, you don't have to set anything up for it. Here's a screenshot of what it looks like when I click the one titled 'I will be anything for you' (I've scrolled down in the screenshot so you can see the text, but all the data fields also appear at the top of the page)

(This view is called 'side peek' meaning the document opens on one side and you can still see the table under it on the left, which is what mine defaults to. But you can set it to 'center peek' or 'full page' as well.) All my scenes have their own entry like this! Note that I've said scenes, not chapters. I decide the chapters later by combining the scenes in whatever combination feels right, which means I can often decide in advance where my chapter endings will be. This helps me consciously give most of my endings more impact than I was usually able to do when I tried to write linearly. So hopefully that gives you an idea of what I mean by writing inside the table and treating the table as a living outline. The 'Status' column is also pretty straightforward, and might require a little setup for whatever your needs are. This is another default column type Notion has which is similar to a Select but has a few more specialized features. This is how mine is set up:

(I don't actually use 'Done', idk why I left it there. Probably I should replace it with 'Posted' and use that instead of the checkmark on the far left? whatever, don't let anyone tell you I'm organized. XDD)

Pretty straightforward, it just lets me see easily what's complete and what still needs work. (You'll notice there's no status for editing, because like I mentioned in my other post, I don't ever sit down to consciously edit, I just let it happen as I reread) Obviously tailor this to your own needs! The Order column is sneakily important, because this is what makes it easy for me to keep the scenes organized. I set the Sort on the table to use the Order to keep the scene ordered chronologically. When I make the initial list of scenes I know the fic will have, I give all of them a whole number to put them in order of events. Then as I write and come up with new scene ideas, the new scenes get a number with a decimal point to put them in the spot they fit in the timeline. (you can't see it here, but some of them have a decimal three or four digits deep, lol). Technically you can drag them to the correct spot manually, but if you ever create another View in your table (you can see I have eight Views in this one, they're right under the title) it won't keep your sorting in the new View and you'll hate yourself when it jumbles all your scenes. XD (And if you get more comfortable with Notion, you probably will at some point desire to make more Views) The Part column isn't necessary, but I found that as the fic grew longer, I was naturally separating the scenes into different points along the timeline by changes in status quo, etc. (ex. "this is before they go overseas" "this is after they speak for the first time", stuff like that) in my mind. To make it easier to decide where to place new scenes in the timeline, I formalized this into Parts, which initially I named with short summaries of the current status quo, and later changed to actual titles because I decided it would be cool to actually use them in the fic itself. Since it's not in the screenshots above, here's what the dropdown for it looks like:

(I've blocked some of the titles out for spoiler reasons)

Basically I only mention the Parts thing because I found it was a useful organizational tool for me and I was naturally doing it in my head anyway. Anyway, I could keep talking about this for a really long time because I love Notion (don't get me started on how I use toggle blocks for hiding content I've edited out without deleting it) but that should be enough to get started and I should really, you know, not make this another insanely long post. XDD And if anybody is curious about how the final results look, the fic can be found here.

[kamotecue]

you make me crazier ꕥ a. russo

pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: when the arsenal team gets invited to attend an international artist’s show, little did they know—one of their recent signings is secretly dating them. pop star!reader

you hummed playing with the strings of your guitar, a habit you always had ever since you were a child. currently, sound check was going on and you were waiting for the lucky ones, the arsenal women’s team—you’re a fan of football.

you noticed your manager who was monitoring you with a few of your tour staff. a small chuckle escaped your lips when you saw the way your manager looked at her watch frantically.

“it seems like the arsenal women’s team has arrived.” jenny said, as you hummed—giving her a small nod. as she scurried to greet them.

you strummed the strings of the guitar playing one of your favorite songs, crazier by taylor swift. not knowing that the team had entered already, nor how your favorite person watched with a small smile on her face.

“you lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around.” you sang as you thought about the time where you agreed to be alessia’s girlfriend. the wide smile she had, it was something you had fallen for.

“would you be mine, y/n?” alessia asked, as you gave her a shy soft smile. you gave her a nod, as she lifted you up from the ground—gently spinning you around in happiness.

“you make me crazier, crazier. feels like i’m falling and i—i’m lost in your eyes.” you opened your eyes, as you noticed the team watching you with a smile, some looked starstrucked, and some admired the way you sang. but one—was totally in love with you, and they didn’t know that.

“you make me crazier, crazier—crazier.” you stood up before giving them a small bow, as they had clapped when the song had ended. jenny giving you a knowing look, as she knew about the private relationship.

of course, she knew—your childhood bestfriend turned manager. a chaotic bunch the two of you were.

“did you guys like it?” you asked, giving a small hum. as leah, the team’s co-captain gave you a nod. alessia watched as you came closer, greeting the team.

the sound check was exactly how you wanted it to be, the team enjoyed it. but it’s not over yet, is it? there’s still the actual concert, the team had the closest view to you—as they had the front row.

the set list was simple, you were playing the second album you released—it truly was a hit. you watched as the crowd cheered the loudest, but you kept your eyes on a certain blonde.

it was the way her eyes shined when she watched you sang. the way she’d look at you with pure adoration, and would get a bit teary eyed as she acknowledges what you accomplished and is proud to have you as her lover.

when the last song ended, you stood up—the tour staff quickly entering the stage to grab your guitar, and other things.

“that was a great show, london. i’m glad to have come out here for my tour, and i really can’t wait to come back.” you said, as the crowd cheered. you blew a kiss, as you entered the backstage—knowing that the arsenal team already had passes.

henry, your bodyguard let the team pass as they waited outside of your dressing room. chatter was heard, as the door swung open—revealing you in a simple white long sleeved polo shirt, black pleated wide leg dressy trousers, white trainers and plaid pattern argyle print pocket v-sweater.

“hi, i’m y/n.” you softly said, as the team chuckled at your awkwardness—even jenny gave you a pointed look, snickering at you.

you chatted with the whole team, not minding how you held onto alessia’s pinky—it was covered by a jacket she had placed over her leg.

a simple post is what broke the internet, it also had the arsenal group chat blowing up.

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ ┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

pretend you’re the one alessia is hugging. an iconic photo this is.

liked by alessiarusso99, katie_mccabe11, leahwilliamsonn, and 12,253,042 others.

y/nl/n23: as a queen once said, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. @alessiarusso99

⤷ alessiarusso99: likewise, love. you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine as well.

leahwilliamsonn: can’t believe you didn’t tell us, less.

⤷ alessiarusso99: sorry, cap. at least you know now

name1: no way, an arsenal and y/n l/n crossover.

name2: breaking the internet like it’s preath.

[huggybearhughes43]

Country singer reader that’s Canada’s sweetheart reconnecting with her childhood best friend Ethan Edwards after her performance at the Calgary Stampede (since he was there tonight) leading to fluff and smut please

Worth the wait

Ethan Edwards x Fem! Reader

Warnings- smut, raw dawgin, oral (fem receiving), semi public, creampie

Summary- in the ask

Word count- 2.2k

My jaw was slacked as I stared at the phone in my hand, looking at Ethan Edwards instagram story. Ethan was in the crowd that I was to preform to in less than half an hour. The fame was random, I had posted a song that I had written years and years ago on TikTok and it blew up. My heart ached remembering the song, it was one I wrote about Ethan, my little self was head over heels for him. We never had an argument or disagreement that was the end of the friendship. Really, it was him going off to college that ended it. I couldn’t be mad at him, never. Because he was following his dreams of making it big in hockey and who was I to be selfish and stop him? Ethan and I met when we were eight, I was the new kid to school and as Ethan is, he was the first to greet me. We were inseparable ever since, his family like mine and mine like his. Well until he got into college that is. We kept in contact for months until one message a day turned to none. I couldn’t be mad because I never built up the courage to text him either, I guess we both had the same idea.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I heard my name announced. I put my phone down and make my way to the stage, trying my ever most best to shut out the nerves. I waved at the crowd as they cheered, smiling as I walk up to the microphone. My breath was shaky and my eyes scanned over the part of the crowd where I knew Ethan was. I cleared my throat and began my introduction. “How are we doing tonight, Alberta?” The crowd cheers and I smile. I sigh into the microphone which is followed by a laugh. “Being on tour… it’s so great to be back in my home town.” I grab the microphone of the stand and hold it to myself, “let’s make this concert one to remember, hm?” The crowd cheers again and the lights dim as my band starts their instruments.

The concert was amazing to say the least. My eyes couldn’t break contact with the area he posted the photo from. My eyes scanned along the group, wanting so bad to find the face I missed the most. My singing came to a close and the crowd cheered. My breath was shaky knowing exactly what song was next. It was my last song of the night, the one that made me famous… the one I wrote about Ethan. I contemplated admitting the truth on who the songs about. I take a deep breath and make my decision. I step back and ask my band to play the rhythm of the song slowly as I spoke and they agreed. The crowd cheered at the realization of the song and I began to confess.

“Have any of you had a person in your childhood that no matter how hard you tried you can’t forget about?” I smile and shake my head, “being back in my hometown… made me want to share this story with you all. The story behind this very song. As you’ve all probably guessed, the songs about a boy I was in love with.” I tap my foot rhythmically to the beat of the song in the background. “This wasn’t a random boy, he was my best friend for ten years. Some of you may know him, kind of a town legend for making it big on hockey.” I smile, eyes still scanning the crowd. Until my eyes met with his. I took a deep breath, he was smiling the same smile I remembered from my childhood. “So you, my hometown, heard it here first. This song is about Ethan Edwards.” The sight of his huge smile and his friends drunkenly cheering him on next to him was a sight I never wanted to forget. I forced my eyes to recognize the rest of the crowd as I began the song.

The song was slow and emotion baring. The crowd sung along, staring a theme of putting their flashlights in the air, waving the phones to the song. This was a common thing for fans to do during this song but knowing that the very reason it existed was in the crowd as well, made my eyes swell with tears. My voice grew shaky and I take myself away from the mic to compose myself, the crowd continuing the song without me. My heart swelled harshly when my eyes were brought back to where Ethan was standing. His arms were crossed with a drink in his hand. He smiled hard, like it was the only expression he knew to make. I took a deep breath and sung the song to a closing. The crowd cheered louder than I’d heard before, the bright lights turning back on the help the crowd to leave.

I thanked everyone and made my way off stage. My band cheered me on and patted my back as they walked past me. I grabbed my phone and stared at it, my thumb hovering over it as I contemplated texting Ethan. I sighed and decided against it, placing the phone in my back pocket before making my way to the dressing room where my bag was. I walked in, closing the door behind me. I stared at myself in the mirror, contemplating my decisions. My thoughts are startled by a knock at the door, my bones practically jumping out of my skin at how hard I jumped. I shake my head and open the door, my eyes going wide and my mouth drying as I stare up at the tall man. I felt like I was going to faint.

“Ethan?!” I grasp at my heart. It was a habit I’d done since I was younger. “In the flesh.” He smiles and pulls me into a tight hug. So tight that in any other circumstances I’d be fighting my way out of his grasp. But instead I hug him back, nestling my head into his shoulder. I gain my composure and pull away with a huge smile on my face. “How’d you manage to get back here?” He laughs and rubs his jaw that I noticed he was growing stubble on. “Was trying to convince a security guy to let me in but he wouldn’t budge. I guess one of your band mates heard me say my name and he asked the guy to let me through.” He paused for a moment, “is the song really about me?” My face goes pale and I sigh with a nod, “yeah.” “I thought it was about Zach” he shoves his hands in his pockets at the mention of my ex.

I smile at his bleak words but follow with a shake of my head. “I made it in the treehouse.” I take a deep breath, remembering the designated hang out spot of ours. Everyday after school we’d go to that treehouse. One day his mom wanted him home before he met me there. Waiting, I wrote the famous song. That’s exactly what I told him as well. When I rushed to close that notebook as he climbed into the treehouse, he assumed I was just writing in a diary. In a way I was, but when I told him I didn’t want to talk about it he didn’t peep another word. It was a quality of his that I was very fond of.

He stepped into the room and closed the door before slumping on the couch on the back wall of the room. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks up with a defeated expression. I tilt my head and sit next to him. “Scared of rejection I guess.” He cracked I smile. “Y/n, I’ve been in love with you since our first conversation. My friends forced me to come today because I wouldn’t shut up about how my childhood best friend is famous now.” He pauses, “congratulations by the way.” I rub my neck and laugh, “congratulations for making it national.” We sit in silence for a moment. “Was the confession too late?” I manage to squeak out.

He stares at me silently before cupping my face. My heart was beating so fast I was scared it would pop out of my chest and land right on his lap. When he saw no sign of protest he leaned in and connected our lips. It was soft, too soft. He pulls away to say something but I pull him back in before he has a chance. The smirk I felt against my lips urged me to deepen the kiss. The wait of near fifteen years poured itself into the harsh kiss. What was a soft kiss was now sloppy and heated, hands wondering all over each other. His hands land on my waist, pulling me straight on top of his lap. I pull away to catch my breath and his lips find their way to my jaw and soon my neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He mumbles against my throat. “Ethan, the door doesn’t lock…” I warned him through breathy moans. He looks at the door, his lips still attached to my neck. His hands wandered under my denim skirt, his thumb brushing against my core which elicits a moan from my lips. “I’ll make sure if anyone walks in they won’t be able to see you.” He looks up at me for consent to continue. I think for a second then nod eagerly. He smiles then presses his lips to back to mine. His fingers pull my panties to the side, following up with running through my slit. I breathe out harshly against his lips, fueling his ego.

He moves to lay me down on the couch, crawling on top of me. He smiles down at me before pressing a soft kiss to my lips and moving himself at the end of the couch. He leans down to put a kiss on each of my thighs before bunching up the skirt at my waist. He pauses for a moment to look up at me, waiting for any protest. When he doesn’t hear one he loops his fingers in my panties and pulls them down my legs. I stare down at him with my mouth agape, one of my hands finding home in his soft hair. He kisses up my thighs softly before getting to my dripping core. His eyes don’t leave mine as he licks a stripe from my hole to my clit. I gnaw at my bottom lip in attempt to stay quiet.

He pulls away unexpectedly which forces a deep whine from my throat. “Don’t hide your noises from me. I’ve waited too long for this for you to hold back.” Before I can respond his mouth is back on my core. I throw my head back, moaning out his name repeatedly. His tongue plunges deep into my core before moving to tug my clit with his teeth. His tongue laps sloppily, savoring the taste of my cunt. Another whine falls from my lips when he pulls away. “Do you wanna have me in you?” He asks softly as he crawls back up to hover over me once again.

“Yes please” I cry out, my hands moving to his back. Ethan smiles down at me, reconnecting our lips as he unbuttons his pants. He lines himself up with my core, pushing in slowly. He doesn’t want to risk any chance of hurting me. He swallows down my moans with his kiss. He sits still for a moment to let me get used to his size. I pull away for a moment to ask him to move and he doesn’t hesitate. He pulls away almost fully before pushing back into me. My head is thrown back the second he finds a rhythm moving in and out of me. I was sure there would be crescent shapes in his back due to my nails puncturing.

He sits up without a fault in his paste. His rough hands moving my legs to rest on his shoulders. His abuse on my cunt doesn’t stop as he presses soft kisses on my ankles. My hands anchor themselves onto the couch as I arch my back in pleasure. His thumb moves to rub circles on my clit, throwing me over the edge in pleasure. My orgasm ripples through me as I moan out loudly, not caring to keep quiet through my euphoria. The clenching of my cunt pushes him over the edge as well. “Where do you want it.” “In me” I whine, “please, I’m on the pill-“ the second I say the last word he spills his warm ropes deep into me. He snaps his hips into me a few more times before collapsing on top of me.

I laugh and wrap my arms around him. “The wait-“ I laugh “was worth it.” Ethan laughs and nods, “more than worth it.” He presses another kiss onto my lips before smiling at me. “Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to ask but… well, will you be my girlfriend?” I bite my lip and nod. “Yeah, I will.”

[astraxxei]

thinking about lovesick corrupted yan venti 🤤

he was nice enough to give his darling their own room to “be nice” but they have a chain attached from thier ankle to the bed and its only long enough to go to the four corners of the room

thinkign ab how he doesnt think its noncon because it brings them clsoer together

thinking ab darling who just gor kidnapped and gets their ass punished for biting his dick mid bj

he would punish them by hurting them back lol

u should totally write ab reader biting his dick ( like as a way of attacking him ) and getting punished for it

yes this is a noncon request 😞

gn!reader possibly?

- :3

Hi :3 anon! OF COURSE I'LL DO TS. THE BITING IS SO FUNNY HELP ME.

✧.° - You belong to me, darling...~ ♡

ft VENTI from Genshin Impact.

WARNINGS : NSFW: SEXUAL THEMES. INTERACT AT YOUR OWN RISK. DARK CONTENT. ( :NONCON. Sadism/Masochism. Slight blood. Violence. Yandere themes. Character is a yandere. Reader is a victim. Degradation.)

Yandere! Corrupted! Venti. Reader uses they/them pronouns. Reader is gn. AU where corrupted Venti is the ruler of Mondstadt and reader is an innocent citizen. Oneshot: requested.

This is a dark content post. If you do not wish to see this type of content, please block the corresponding tags. I am not responsible for any person reading this. Reader discretion is advised. Any hate will not be tolerated. By proceeding under the cut, you confirm that you wish to see this type of content and you have FULL responsibility of what you're about to read and interact with.

~ ♡ ~

Even ever since you knew about what Barbatos has become, you did not wish to leave your birth nation. Strange, yet endearing, that you had such a strong connection to your homeland that you didn't want to leave even while you knew that your archon had been corrupted with a mind full of malice and power and then... nothing. Destruction and despair, but you preferred to endure than run away. Scared and stunned, you ran and ran like a chased criminal from the wind. You had went out to buy some apples, but suddenly you felt like the breeze has been after you. You felt like this for a while, every single time you stepped foot out of your home, like something was chasing you, a strong desire to make you it's possession filling in it's blood.

But the wind blew so hard this time, it knocked you on a tree and you passed out. About time, because you've been losing sleep lately, you though before blackening out. You suddenly wake up and... You feel strange. Your head hurts, but you're on a soft bed. But you try to get up and...what is that you feel? Restraints? Chains locked in your ankle on the bed.

You realized you could only move to reach the corners of the small room. The chain attached to your ankle was starting to hurt, but you didn't notice that. More importantly, you were scared. You didn't know what was going on. Who was the one that chained you, restrained you, in a place you've never been before? You hear a faint laugh in the distance. Malicious laugh... sending shivers of terror down your spine.

The one climbing up the stairs to the little room you were currently in was no one other than the Anemo archon himself. Your eyes widen. You can't believe you got into this situation.

"B- Barbatos?!"

"Call me Venti, dear~"

His voice is sweet like sugar cubes, but it's scary and intimidating at the same time. He is average heighted, his glowing, pink eyes are staring into yours. His huge smile is spread across his face, and you swear that even in your weak vision you can see blood staining his delicate clothes.

"Look darling. You're mine from now on~ I gave you your own room~ I should be getting rewarded for being so kind and sweet...to my lover. Come here, and I will teach you how to show me your appreciation all day~"

Terrified, you shake your head as he walks towards you. You were scared, so scared, oh, what a monster...

You almost don't notice how swiftly you're being pulled towards him. You try to protest and squirm but his hand is grabbing your hair so hard it hurts and you almost cry out in pain. A malicious laugh is the response you're getting.

"Ahahaha! Look at you, trying to get away from the Anemo archon! This is a way for both of us to bond, you know...you should want it...You should be good to me...or else... I might do something you won't really like...my lovely dearie~"

You stop protesting as his hand on your hair is hurting you too much to handle. Before you realize it you're lowered down to his crotch and as he throws his clothing to the side you see his erection pent up proudly right in front of your face. Your eyes widen at the sudden realization of his size, but you remember, he's a god, so you're not anymore surprised. He looks down at you mischievously and smiles widely as he runs his hand through your hair.

"See that? Well, you better take care of it. I don't have all day."

You sigh in despair of how you got yourself into this situation. You part your lips and start taking it slowly inside your mouth, sucking slowly and looking up at him with a slightly indifferent look. You see his flushed face as he grabs your hair tighter and pulls your head towards himself roughly, the sounds of pleasure escaping his mouth as soon as he feels yours around him.

"Aaah~ Mmph~ Haah~"

He tastes so good. You don't want to admit it to yourself, but you like it. You really like the sensation. But at the same time...you get slightly annoyed. You've been denied freedom and a good life because of this faulty archon, and now he's forcing you to suck on his dick? You feel absolutely degraded. You decide you can't tolerate this, no, for your nation, and your own sake, you can't.

Without even thinking you bring your teeth to bite down. Not too hard, but enough to cause pain. You see Venti's eyes widen and tear up slightly as he lets out a pained squeal and pulls back from you immediately.

You pant and breathe heavily, looking at him as your saliva is connecting your mouth with his tip. Suddenly he looks down at you with a very angry expression and before you know it a hard, sudden slap makes it's way across your face.

"That hurt, you fucking whore!"

Your vision goes foggy. You whimper and place your trembling hand on your cheek. The chain is still tied to your ankle. You look up at him, shaking. He looks down at you, breathing heavily, but seemingly less angry than before. He kneels down and his hand quickly wraps around your neck. It's really hard, and it hurts. You try to whimper out your words.

"..'m sorry..sor- hnn..."

He lets go of your neck and smiles. "This is what you get for being a disobedient slut. Don't worry, I still love you though~ disobedient or not, you're just my adorable little toy..."

He looks down at you with a wide, mischievous smile and caresses your cheek.

"...and I'm going to do anything in my power to make sure you understand that you're mine and mine only. The feeling of me will be implanted in your brain forever. You belong to me, darling...~ "

~ ♡ ~

A/n: I have never written anything more toe curling in my whole life. Also I managed to not laugh while writting the biting part. I did not expect this to happen.

[koolades-world]

this piece is established relationship! with the nature of it anyways it probably would have been if i wanted it to or not lol. here's the post the idea came from and thank you to a wonderful mutual of mine for the inspo :)

Sharing is Caring

"Satan? You in here?" You pushed open the doors to the library in search of the knowledgeable demon. It was almost totally silent, minus the sound of a gentle, crackling fire.

"Yes. I'm by the fireplace." Satan's voiced echoed through the large room. You shut the door behind you and made your way over to where you'd heard him. "Hello, Mc. How was RAD today?" You quickly made yourself comfortable next to him. You threw your bag down onto the table in front of you and stretched out your limbs. He was reading, as usual.

"Tiring. But not too bad. Baking club was fun. Barbatos taught us how to make a bread that has candy hearts in it. We'll bake it tomorrow. He told us to think of a certain someone while making it for the most desirable outcome taste wise. Guess who I thought of?" You playfully elbowed Satan.

"Was it Cerberus?" He knew how much you cared for that dog, but you also knew he must've been messing with you.

"Noooo. Guess again, silly billy." You loved his tongue-in-cheek antics. Most weren't granted the chance to see that side of him, which was something you were eternally grateful for. He was much more than just the Avatar of Wrath, and it was a real shame others didn't take the time to learn the rest of him.

"Solomon, mayhaps?" You could see the hints of a smile begin to light up his face. You began to laugh as he tried harder to conceal his growing emotion.

"No! I'll give you a hint. He's blond, very helpful, and a genius." You poked his cheeks. He finally put the book down and allowed the joy to overtake his still features.

"So it's Luke then." He himself was beginning to chuckle.

"Wrong again. It's you! You're not very good at guessing games." You swatted at his arms as he put them around you to pull you into his side.

"Thank you, Mc. That's very thoughtful of you." He pressed a kiss on top of your head and into your hair.

"It's going to be delicious, I just know it. Even if the bread is awful, you'll still taste the heart and soul I put into it." You hugged him back, and savored the moment.

"You're so sweet. I'll make sure to enjoy it, just for you." The both of you eventually went back to being productive after you'd exchanged more sweet talk. You had homework to get done and he had a book to finish.

While digging through your bag for your supplies, you inevitably pulled out your pencil case. It contained what was arguably one of the most important tools for completing homework. You tried to fish out your favorite pen and instead found some sort of hard candy you'd been given by a professor earlier that day. You'd personally confirmed it was safe for human consumption, and decided to save it for while you were doing work later. Since it was Satan, despite the fact that he was enthralled in his book, he noticed almost immediately that you'd put something in your mouth. Maybe it was the scent, or the sudden movement, but you caught his attention.

"What's that?" He peeked over the top of his book, intrigued.

"A cinnamon hard candy. It's probably the most normal candy I've had in a long time. Got it for answering a question correctly in Devildom History." You gently blew on Satan's face so he could really smell the cinnamon.

"Where's mine?" He asked. You couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not, but at that point it was too late to give it to him since it was already in your mouth.

"Didn't you have Devildom History today too? You should've gotten your own, babe." You stuck your tongue out at him with the candy right in the center. He lightheartedly rolled his eyes back at you. You thought that was the end of that conversation as he turned his attention back to the book. Little did you know, he was in the middle of devising a plan to 'borrow' the candy from you.

He started by speaking up whenever he could when you were doing your homework. Whenever he saw you hesitate on something, he’d reassure you or help guide you to the correct answer. From there, he would also start to read romantic quotes from what he happened to be reading. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him. On the contrary, it would be more odd if he didn't.

"I need a break." You put the book you were holding back onto the table. To mentally relax, you decided to scroll on Devilgram. As you did though, Satan vied for you attention more than usual. Rather than directly asking or whining, he was subtle in his pleading. It didn't take you long to cave.

"You're planning something, aren't you?" You knew him well.

"Is it a crime for a demon to want attention from his amazing, gorgeous partner?" He tried to dodge the question, but unfortunately for him, you saw right him.

"I expect this kind of behavior from Mammon." Satan went silent, but met your gaze. "Do you want a kiss?" You could see the way his features lit up. You planted kisses all over his face, and he returned the favor. When your little exchange was over, you realized something was missing.

Looking over at Satan told the whole story. With a misevious grin, you saw him roll around the same candy while focusing on readiing again. "Satan. Is that my candy?" You knew the answer to that question.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." You could hear the laughter in his voice.

"You win this time. You earned that. Just you wait thought. I'll get you back." You hugged him and began your own scheming. You'd get him in some fun way later that evening. But for now, you planned to just enjoy snuggling with him. He might be a little shit sometimes, but he was your little shit.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Tumblr WILL NOT let me post the fic and this ask at the same time and I've tried legit five times. So THANK YOU anon for the request and I'm sorry for the weirdness in uploading. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this!

My Ghost.

Billy x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: You don't know what happened that night. Things were fine, life was good, then your partner is on the news for all sorts of shit you never would've thought him capable of the day prior. He was dead, he was evil, and you were trying to move on. But what's the proper etiquette when the dead show up on your door unannounced?

Tags: No use of Y/N, hurt/comfort, fake death, mentions of drinking, drug use/dealing, grieving, arguing, cursing, flashbacks, brief suggestive scenes, suicidal thoughts.

Other Works in This Series: 'Repentance' (Prequel to 'My Ghost') • 'Lapses' (Sequel to 'My Ghost')

Notes: The way I've been trying to upload this for two hours. Oh my fucking God. Anyways, everyone say thank you to anon for getting me to write something that doesn't make God cry.

-¤°》◇《°¤-

I'm not hard to please, but I'm not desperate despite what the rumors may say.

People enjoy gossip. People who don't know fuck all about you. And my standards are fine. Were fine. And I don't mean standards such as 'buys me flowers everyday' or 'doesn't deal coke.' I mean standards such as 'is a decent fucking person.'

"That's what I thought you were up until all of this fucking... disappearing for months!" I scream, anger fueling me. I don't let the other emotions win out, don't let them have a say. Because if I do, I'll be too conflicted and overwhelmed and then I'm gonna cry, and that's not fair.

People had warned me he was trouble. Terms such as 'wannabe cowboy,' 'rebel without a cause' were tossed around in warning. But to me, he was just Billy.

Then he was dead.

Now, he was here. He showed up at my door nine months after leaving me with a small little keychain on the kitchen table and a soft kiss on my forehead, saying he had some plans for that evening. But he'll be back soon.

Then he was on the news. And a gas station blew up. Gangs, stolen vehicles. He was probably dead. Things would be easier if he was dead.

Fine. Maybe I initially ignored warning signs. Maybe I was distracted by his handsome side profile, too busy admiring his nose to notice the occasions it was dusted with the trace of a fine powder. Maybe his hands were too beautiful for me to realize they were slipping money to men in dark jackets when we went out to the rougher parts of town. But he was mine and I was his, and overall he was a good person.

He was alive. He was alive and I was mad because if he was dead then at least it would be valid that for nine months I have had to deal with the accusatory stares of our neighbors assuming I knew, the pity from my loved ones, and the betrayel that kept me awake at night. It would mean he hadn't left me to deal with his repercussions, that maybe there was a valid excuse. An undiagnosed brain tumor that finally gave way to insanity, a gun to his head. Something that was not the worst case scenario of just... being an awful person. I could let his things rest around the house undisturbed, hiding from the world and waiting to find the courage to join him one day and living in denial in the meantime. What the fuck was all of this?

"I couldn't tell you," he keeps saying. "It was better if you knew nothing until I was sure I could come get you."

"Why didn't you just take me with you from the start?" I ask. I've been pacing the floor for the past twenty minutes ever since he showed up. It was better than throwing every breakable object in the cheap, worn down shack of a house at him, which was my second instinct. My first was to pull him into my arms, draw the curtains shut and hide him away so that he'll never leave again. Like an idiot.

He laughs bitterly. "You would not be asking that if you knew what the fuck I went through," he says. His words sound like they should be angry, but there's this lightness to them like he can't let himself think too much about it. It just makes me angrier.

"Don't fucking laugh!" I snap. "Do you think any of this is funny?"

"I think you're funny when you're mad," he deflects, smiling. "You got this whole routine. Pacing, nose twitching. I like the Shirley Temple stomps, like you're a kid."

I groan loudly, the noise almost sounding like a low scream in my throat.

"You owed money to fucking- who?" I yell.

"The details don't matter-"

"When I have been grieving your death for nine months, they fucking matter!" I snap. His brows furrow, his hands mid air as if to say 'the fuck did I do?'

"You know me, okay? I don't get caught," he says as though it were obvious.

"I know fucking nothing!" I practically scream.

When we met he was just a guy at a bar, handsome, wearing that same ridiculous jacket that I couldn't help but stroke the white fluff on, tequila running through my veins.

"Can I help you?" He asked, smirking.

"Just wanted to see what it felt like," I said.

"Wanna feel something else?" He asked, his chin resting on his head.

"Oh, fucking gross. Fuck o-"

"I was talking about this," he said, whipping out his keys to show off an odd, weirdly shaped keychain with short, stiff fuzz. "Don't call me a pervert just cause you're one."

He was smiling. It was an easy smile. Careless, happy with life. I loved that smile. It meant things were always alright as long as he was smiling.

He was smiling on the photo they used for the manhunt.

We'd danced the whole night. He didn't know hardly any of the songs, causing him to be off beat. I was too drunk to keep time, so I stepped on his leather boots enough times there was a visible scuff on the top of one by the end of the night. I always felt bad, offering to replace or help pay to fix it. He wouldn't let me.

"They're a keepsake," he'd insist. "A living memory." He wore them everyday.

He's wearing sneakers, today.

At the end of the night, I stumbled out of the bar with a note in my coat pocket. It took two weeks for me to wear that coat again, and when I found the slip I'd almost thrown it away, assuming it was something dumb. But when I saw the worst handwriting in the world displaying a number belonging to someone named 'Keychain Guy,' I almost couldn't wait to call.

"Bullshit," Billy snaps. "You know me better than anyone."

"Don't say that," I say, putting a hand out protectively to keep him away. "That's exactly why everyone thinks I was just fine with that whole- fucked up thing!"

A gas station burned. A stolen vehicle. People were dead. People were dead.

Billy was presumed dead.

There was no funeral. He had no family, and none of mine wanted to put money into something that would be protested by the whole town anyways. No body to bury, nothing to do but gather up his things and smoke what remained in his stash until people came to nurse me back to life. By that point there wasn't even relief in drugs. The taste simply reminded me of better times cooking in the kitchen as we blew the smoke into each others faces, or worse. Better. Whatever.

I never questioned when Billy went out of town. I knew his work had details I didn't want nor need to know. Money was tight. But Billy always came home with little things whenever he went on unexpected trips. Knick knacks, snacks, some item I'd seen at the store and picked up to make a comment about. Had he been particularly forthcoming about his dealing when we started dating? No. He said he worked for a local small business, which technically isn't untrue. But about six months in, he was the one who approached me and sat me down at the small, rickty round table to tell me the truth. And that's what mattered to me. The economy is shit and it's not like it was meth, so who am I to judge?

About a year into it, I was begging for him to do something else.

"I don't like you disappearing," I told him. "I'm scared one day you're gonna piss someone off and that'll be the end. Then what am I gonna do?"

"Then you're gonna make sure they don't fuck up my face during the embalming process for the funeral," Billy said around his hand rolled cigarette. I whip the small dish towel at him, making him laugh and protect his small ashtray that I made him for Christmas the year prior. It was shitty, uneven, and I'm 99% sure a fire hazard. But he wouldn't use any other ones unless I was the one who bought them for him, and even then he favored this one. 'When this place goes up in flames,' I thought, 'I'll regret that gift.'

I'd kept it by the kitchen window every day since he'd died. "Died." It was his spot.

He moves to sit there now, looking in his pockets for the small box of prerolled cigarettes.

"People know you weren't involved," he says dismissively.

"Your friends know. What about the old ladies at church? The checkout clerks at the store? How about the fucking mailman?" I shout, convinced I'm still talking to the dead. "You think they know the ins and outs of the local psychos support group?" I ask, gesturing and stepping closer.

I was the local outcast now. Not to be trusted, not worth kindness. Shame was my title, and when Billy appeared on my doorstep at an hour where only I was awake I was sure I'd caught the same awful disease that must have been what sent him spiraling that winter day. It wasn't until he pushed the door open fully, taking me into his arms and pressing a warm kiss to my lips that I knew he was real. It was a feeling I was in the early stages of forgetting, blurry and cold. But here he was, the stubble on his chin a bit longer and his ears missing the small hoops that had glittered in the sunlight when he walked out the door.

Then I'd pushed him away. And the fight began.

"I'm not a fucking psycho," he argues. His hands pat around his outfit, searching. "You got a lighter?"

"Fuck off." I kept his favorite in my left pocket. I had to be careful what things of his I wore or kept on my person. People close to me knew I would have never condoned his actions, but even they had glared at me in the early wake of Billy's death when I dared to wear one of his shirts out of the house, or more commonly one of his thick leather jackets. But a lighter can be hidden, and unless you had borrowed it you wouldn't know it had specifically been his. So I kept it with me all the time, just feeling it next to my skin with the only barrier being the fabric of my pocket. Without a thought, I cover the small item as though he can see right through me. Picking up on the hint, he's rises from the table and begins walking over to me.

"Don't be a dick, just let me borrow it," he says, holding out his hand.

"Fuck off," I snap.

"You've said that. I just need it for two seconds," he says as his hands begin to gently grab at me, one on my shoulder and the other dipping into my pocket.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell, slapping at him.

"Just let me have-"

He cuts himself off as he pulls out the lighter from my pocket, his thumb grazing over the printed picture. The Statue of David. He'd bought because it made us laugh. One side was the regular statue, the other a close up of its small genitals with cursive writing underneath spelling the art piece's name.

"Oh," Billy says quietly.

We stand for a moment, silent. He doesn't seem sure what to do. My lungs burn with unheaved sobs. I fucking hate this.

"You were gonna come back," I finally say quietly. I hate how my voice sounds when I'm upset. I hate that I'm wearing his dogtag, an item he'd bought at a World War II museum in middle school that he gave me for our first Christmas because we were both too broke to actually buy each other anything, hence the poorly made ashtray. I hate that when I sleep at night it's in his clothes that I rarely wash because the idea of losing his smell makes me want to scream. I hate that his scent is different from the bottle of cologne he kept next to my makeup, one time spilling all over the entire bathroom counter because we'd gotten too wrapped up in each other, dragging our nails down each others backs and watching ourselves in the mirror until one wrong move of my hand revealed he'd been a bit too careless about screwing the lid back on earlier in the day. I'd always warned him about that.

I'd been in the bathroom putting on my permanently scented blush when I got the text.

"I was going to," he said softly. "Then I couldn't."

"So what?" I say, not daring to turn and face him, choosing instead to stare at where the cheap, old wood paneling of the wall meets the shaggy, stained carpet that you have to wear shoes on due to the staples that have begun sticking out of it. "You just propose to someone and then pretend to die?"

Valentines Day was an awfully cheesy day to do it. So it's a good thing it was a technicality.

The day had been lovely. Billy had saved up a little to take me to a local hibachi place, telling me to wear my best outfit and jewelry. It was slightly overkill, but it's the small things in life, isn't it?

We'd come home with a bottle of wine, a low budget movie to ignore and hands searching desperately for each other.

"I love you," he'd said between pants. "You're mine."

"Buy a ring," I'd dared. Our minds were buzzed, the bottle half empty and our clothes thrown away without care. Took me weeks to find his both of his socks.

I hadn't meant for him to take it seriously. But I guess he decided it was time.

Two days later I thought it was odd when he walked into the house with my favorite lunch. It wasn't expensive really, we just usually got it for special occasions or days that had been mentally harder for me. And things were normal that day. I was getting ready for my shift, running around like I always do trying to make sure I've got everything.

"Your coffee's in the cup, will you just sit down?" He laughed, watching me. I quickly collected the take out box, sipping my coffee and wincing over its temperature.

"Fuck, that burns," I cursed. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to get me to sit at the table. "Baby, I can't," I protested softly, but I was laughing. He was peppering me in kisses, giving me those big puppy dog eyes everyone knew were my weakness. He wanted for nothing so long as he looked at me just like that.

"Just this once," he asked, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I couldn't help the blush and giggle that rose from me, but I also couldn't be late.

"I'll make up for it," I promised, slipping away and running into the bedroom to get my shoes. When I ran back in, pulling them on and coming to kiss him goodbye, I nearly fell over when I saw him on one knee, smiling and looking at me like 'I told you so.'

I don't like how itchy the ring feels on my middle finger as I twirl it in thought.

"You don't know what happened," he pleaded, his hands still on me. "If you would just listen to me-"

"The news gave a pretty good description, William. I don't think there's missing pieces in my head, unlike you," I say coldly, detaching from myself so to not have to deal with my emotions. This makes him stiffen, pulling away and resuming his place at the kitchen table, lighting his cigarette and placing the ashtray in front of him like nothing has changed when everything has.

It feels like I'm out of time. Like I've been shoved into a picture of what my life looked like before. Except the house was never this clean, clothes always scattered about. Not just in a fit of passion, we just had bad habits when it came to picking up. Billy would always say the chairs are more decorations then they are seats, anyways. "Why would you use those when you have such a nice seat here?" He'd ask, wiggling his hips and placing his hands behind his head, making me laugh.

Billy never looked so well put together in the house, usually in a wife beater and his hair framing his face. He'd always joked he looked like a dirty hippie around me, and I'd always show him how much I liked that. Not that he looked fantastic now. When we went out he was known for putting in effort. He always had more hair products than me, which I found funny. Though he refused makeup. Once I'd managed to talk him into eyeliner. 'Guyliner' I'd teased. He liked it, but said it should stay between us with a wink before asking where to get dinner. Now he sits before me in clothes obviously stolen to help him look unremarkable, his hair shaggy and uncut, so different from the man I loved.

"Who are you?" I asked him. That man didn't shrink away from accountability.

He sighed, smoke swirling around him as he wipes his face with his hand.

"I don't know. Can't tell if I'm better or worse, to be honest," he admits softly. His eyes look haunted, heavy bags underneath. It's the way his shoulders sag as though his will to go on is slowly draining from him in this very moment that makes me want to break now. Like whatever reason he had for still going was fruitless.

I didn't like the way we mirrored each other like this.

I slowly scuff my feet towards him, tapping my fingers against the back of the wooden chair before pulling it out to sit across from him. It's a start.

"So if you tell me," I say slowly. "Am I going to wish you were dead?"

He doesn't look at me. "I don't know."

Great.

The night is long. Morning comes without an invitation, the blue sky beginning to glow through the shitty blinders I always told Billy we should replace one day. I understand less than when we started, we've both cried more than once, and between our fingers is cigarette stubs and the feeling of each others skin, hands laced together as though another click of an old remote to an outdated TV with batteries you had to rub against your shirt to make work would reveal the smouldering remains of a gas station, displaying the estimated body count and deeming one of us as a devil of the worst kind, ripping us apart.

"Jesus," I say when it's over.

"Yeah," he says. "So, needless to say, my anxiety is shit now."

It isn't funny. It's a tragic statement. But when we both glance into the others eyes, it's his small little smirk that makes me laugh like I haven't since my mother sent me the local news report with his picture covering the front page. The same one that shows everything is still okay.

"I'm sorry," I say. Then the laughing turns into sobbing, and then I can't breathe. And I really am sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't help him. I'm sorry he went out on a romantic whim and borrowed money he shouldn't have for the ring I was too ashamed to wear on the proper finger. I'm sorry he couldn't come back for me. And I'm sorry for hating him when he showed up unannounced at my door.

"Hey," he says gently, standing and crossing to me, removing his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders to comfort me. It's unfamiliar, evidence of a life he wouldn't have led if he had just stayed by me and it upsets me, but his lips against my wet cheeks ground me, familiar and soothing me, coaxing me into wrapping my arms around him, clawing my trembling fingers through his hair. Still soft. Still combed.

"You can't stay here," I choke out.

"I know," he says quietly. There's nothing for a long time, our bodies shaking as we cling to each other. In our arms are the unspoken months of grief. Of his longing for our home, of my insanity. Death looms over the furniture, light hidden away lest it take away my sacred treasures I'd used to keep his spirit close to me.

"I can't lose you again," I say.

"I know," he says, smelling my hair and placing a soft kiss on top of my head. "But I can't promise stability if you follow me."

My brows furrow, my mind racing in confusion, my hopes rising. Follow?

"I know a guy," he says quickly, his arms tighter as if scared I'll turn away. "Says he can get me a new identity and a one way ticket to somewhere. I don't know where yet, but it's worth a try."

My fingers trace his back, swirling invisible patterns over his shirt. He'd always liked that after a rough day. I can feel the tension begin to slowly fall away from him at the contact, his breathing growing deeper and more steady. "And you want me to come?"

"Need," he corrects. "I don't regret leaving you, but I can't stay away. Even if it's more kind to let you mourn and find a better life."

A new life. A new identity. New name, new everything.

Maybe I am insane. Maybe this exactly the kind of mental break Billy had that day. Maybe I was doomed to follow his spirit no matter what. Maybe this is a second chance. Maybe God had granted me a mercy I'll never be able to repay, no matter how many night I spend in worship at a church or between this man's legs. Maybe I'd spend every day looking over my shoulder, paranoid and eventually turning cruel to strangers so to keep this one person everyone told me to let go of from the very beginning.

But the same Billy.

"Can he do a marriage license?" I ask after a long silence. I can hear him laugh, pulling away to look at me.

"That eager?" He asks softly, his eyes gentle, thumb stroking my cheek. I lean into his touch, softly placing a kiss on his palm.

▪︎》◇《▪︎

"Well," I say, "I already have the ring."

Masterlist

As cute as this was, please have better standards than the Reader I wrote in this fic. No man is worth that. I am DEADASS. Anyways, love y'all <3

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics where the characters miss an opportunity to be together but reconnect at a later time as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

🩵 Next to your Heartbeat (where I should be) by jaded25

(M, 130k, cheating) All it takes for them to fall in love is one night. All they have to do is wait one year to see each other again.

🩵 I'll Fly Away by @juliusschmidt

(E, 122k, friends to lovers) Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road. But after high school, Louis stuck around and Harry did not

🩵 Home To You by Crowsonthewire / @crows-onthewire

(E, 54k, friends to lovers) At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.

🩵 Late Night Talking by @kingsofeverything

(E, 53k, famous/famous) Promo season gets underway with a stop at Late Night Talking, the late night show hosted by Harry Styles, and Harry Styles just happens to be the man who blew a chance to date Louis a decade ago.

🩵 It Had To Be You by @kingsofeverything

(M, 45k, When Harry Met Sally au) Ten years after their post-college road trip, Louis and Harry meet once again, but this time they become friends. Eventually, things get complicated.

🩵 Runner on Third by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo

(M, 39k, friends to lovers) the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

🩵 Heart Beat by @allwaswell16

(E, 33k, kid fic) When Harry returns to start a music academy in his hometown, he finds himself face to face with his high school crush—and his charming daughter who wants to learn to play the drums.

🩵 With the Rising Sun by Tomlinsontoes

(M, 33k, sister's best friend) Louis had been living in NYC for two years now while studying at NYU, and was probably the least social 21-year-old ever. Somehow he got roped into his sister's brilliant idea of getting her college best friend to help him branch out and meet people. 

🩵 It's Been So Long by elsi_bee / @elsi-bee

(T, 31k, crush) Harry Styles' first crush was one of his sister's best friends, a certain someone named Louis Tomlinson. And Louis? He just vaguely remembers Gemma's younger brother from back in the day. A lot can change in ten years.

🩵 The Melody You Never Heard by bananasandboots

(E, 30k, camping) the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

🩵 once bitten and twice shy by @pinkcords

(M, 19k, Christmas) in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. 

🩵 What do you mean he's coming? by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics

(G, 15k, wedding) Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance. 

🩵 through the jungle through the dark by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(E, 15k, ex-friends) Louis and Harry were best friends, until they weren’t. Five years after they last spoke they’re forced to drive cross-country to visit an injured friend. If they can’t get over the past, it will be a very long week together.

🩵 You Turned Up (Like a Friend of Mine) by @lululawrence

(NR, 10k, parallel universes) the one where Harry disappears on graduation day only to show up on Louis' door looking exactly the same ten years later. 

🩵 Read My Lips by superglass / @gaymoustache

(NR, 6k, friends to lovers) Old Uni friends Harry and Louis reconcile for the holidays after Louis’ early success as an indie singer. NYE 1999/Y2K scare au.

🩵 We're Getting Better With Time by @haztobegood

(T, 5k, social media) the one where Louis is single, Harry is recently divorced, and they reconnect on Facebook forty years after they first met.

🩵 Any Man of Mine by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(T, 5k, childhood friends) Harry goes to visit his old friend Louis at his ranch in Texas after they reconnect during the pandemic. He learns a thing or two about cowboy hat etiquette.

🩵 Seems You Cannot Be Replaced by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(M, 5k, swimming) Harry and the popular boy in school, Louis Tomlinson, share a tension-filled night together when they're young. Fifteen years later they see each other again.

🩵 Time will tell, I suppose, or at least, these pages will. by Spiralblissx

(G, 5k, pen pals) Harry goes to a public diary reading thing at his local coffee shop and gets more than he bargained for

🩵 On a Day Like This You Know It's Meant to Be by @allwaswell16

(T, 2k, fate) Harry is certain he'll never see him again, even if they did make a pact to reunite should the Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

- Rare Pairs -

🩵 It’s About A Boy by @missrefridgefreetorator / mynameispiaivy 

(G, 4k, Louis/Luke Malak) when a mysterious boy turns your birthday celebration into a night you will never forget, or when it's like, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas unless someone asks for your number and you just don't want the night to end.

🩵 Costumes Must Be Sexy, Slutty and/or Stupid by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 4k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) It's a bit of a blast from the past to get an invite to Nick Grimshaw's fancy dress housewarming.

[cookinguptales]

So… last week I made a vent post about an accessibility issue I’d had with some podcasters. I really only meant for the post to be read by my followers (who to my knowledge aren’t familiar with the podcast in question) which is why I put minimal tags on it and didn’t name the show.

But… the post got legs that I wasn’t expecting, and eventually a lot of people asked for the name of the show. I hadn’t intended on creating a whole big thing, so I was kind of reluctant, but I did see the logic in what they were saying — as a disabled woman myself, I would also want to know if I were supporting podcasters whose values did not align with mine. So I told people quietly in the notes that the show had been Old Gods of Appalachia.

Things… did not stay quiet.

Frankly speaking, one of the reasons why I don’t write as many posts about disability and ableism these days is because I got tired of people writing to me and telling me that people like me should be dead. So you can imagine what kind of fucking week I’ve been having since all that blew up. It’s been a very high symptom week, too, so I’m just. Very tired and stressed rn.

Personally, I’d be happy to never talk about it again and try to get back to my everyday life, but I did think it was important to note that the creators of OGOA must have gotten wind of the post, and they did contact me.

I won’t post the whole email here, but it was a good response. Since seeing my post, they’d tried getting in contact with the venue and realized very quickly why I’d been so frustrated. They ended up needing to go through their booking agent to get any kind of answers — so like, to the people who sent me a thousand messages telling me I was an entitled idiot who just needed to contact the venue, please know that none of you were remotely helpful.

Again, I’m not going to post the entire email, but I did think it was important to be fair and use the same platform that I used to vent to tell people that they seem committed to doing better in the future. They told me that they would be making sure that they have all this information going forward and that they would no longer allow it to be such a barrier to entry for disabled fans.

They invited me back to the show and… god, I’ll admit it. I really had to think about my answer. Not to sound ungrateful, but after the week I’ve had, even thinking about the podcast, the podcasters, and that damn live show has me stressed af. I had to really consider whether I even wanted to go.

But in the months since I first contacted them, they added a show that’s a lot closer to where I live, so rather than a weekend trip, I could just take a single bus. And it’s near one of my favorite Japanese restaurants in the city, so if all else fails, I can at least have some good katsudon. So I will be going to the Philadelphia show.

(Though for fellow disabled fans, Terakawa Ramen is not wheelchair accessible. 🙃 Most days I can do the two steps into the restaurant, but not always. Philly, I love and loathe you.)

Anyway, I wanted to reply to them before I made a post here, but… yeah. We’ve worked things out, I think. Only the future can tell what they'll do going forward but they do seem committed to doing better.

To me, there are always two goals when I write about disability and ableism. The first is that disabled people will feel seen. That is always, always my primary goal. It’s so easy for us to feel invisible and unimportant, and I always want to make you all feel seen, just like I want to feel seen. The second is that able-bodied folks will listen and learn and do their best to support their disabled peers in the future.

So… I think that my post managed to fulfill both of those goals. A lot of disabled people have reblogged that post and have talked about their own experiences, and a lot of them have explicitly said how much that post makes them feel seen. And the podcasters in question seem to have really reflected on their actions and seem to want to do better going forward.

So as incredibly fucking stressed out as I’ve been, I guess I can’t regret making the post. It’s always good to know that your words can have impact. The post has long since moved out of my friends circle so I assume it’ll just keep circulating and I’ll keep getting shitty anons and chat messages, but I’m just gonna focus on what good has come from it. I’m hopeful that my post will make life tangibly better for at least a few disabled people, and I’m encouraged by the fact that podcasters who I’d formerly liked do actually seem to want to do the work needed to improve.

And uh I’m not answering any more messages from people who just wanna swear at me. I’m tired. Leave me alone.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 3

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: None really. Angst. Dean being a bit of an asshole. A brief, near sexual encounter. Smidge of fluff.

Word Count: 3,654

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: So, here I am with chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for all the very kind comments that this series has received so far. You're all fabulous.

Series Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

The next morning Dean was sitting at the table in his tent, listening to the camp waking up around him, when his tent flap opened and Cas strolled in. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Jesus, we gotta put up a piece of wood on the tent poles or something so people can knock.” He said in a surly and growly, early morning voice. When Cas didn’t respond, he challenged him with an even surlier tone. “What? Why are you here?”

Cas walked further into the tent. “I saw you gave Y/N back her daughter.” Dean raised his hand and then dropped it, conceding the point. “And,” Cas continued, raising his hand in the air and waving it slightly, “no more manacles.”

Dean spread his arms wide. “These are all things I already know, Cas; why are you telling me this?”

Cas shrugged slightly. “So, can I assume this means you no longer think she’s going to turn into a monster at any minute?”

Dean blew out a puff of air. “It means, she’s been here a week, and hasn’t turned yet. And since that isn’t really something that happens to people who get bit, I think I can be reasonably certain she won’t turn, randomly, out of the blue one day. And I gave her back her kid so she can look after her, and I can get Risa back as a soldier instead of a nanny.”

Cas wore a very enthusiastic expression as he moved closer. “Come on, even you have to admit that this is exciting.”

Dean arched a brow. “Exciting?”

Cas’ voice became awestruck. “Dean, this is the most hopeful sign we’ve had in…years!”

“Aw, don’t come at me with that hopeful bullshit!” Dean’s scowl and fierce countenance was immediate and slightly intimidating, even to the angel. 

“Hope is nothing but a fucking lie, okay? We know it. We HOPED we could stop Lilith breaking seals and we didn’t, we HOPED we could stop the apocalypse, but we failed at that too. We HOPED we could save everyone, and well, we’re doing a pretty piss poor job of that, aren’t we? Every single time we go out on a raid, I hope we come back with the same number of people we left with, but it doesn’t happen very often, does it? We hoped -” 

Dean cut himself short and swallowed hard, lowering his voice. “We hoped that Sam would be strong enough to say no, but…he wasn’t. I hoped I could save him. And-” He cut himself off again and rubbed a hand hard across his face. 

“So just don’t come at me with ‘hopeful’.” Dean said, sneering the word.

He tapped his fingers against his chest. “Cause I gotta live in the reality of this situation. And look, if you wanna hide away from that reality, you wanna get blitzed and bombed every day, and pretend like you’re some kind of sexual guru, fuck around with dozens of girls, I don’t really give a shit. Okay? Do it. But I,” he banged his chest with his whole fist this time, “I have to live in the reality of our lives.”

Dean stood up and stepped closer to Cas, swinging his arm out sideways. “And the reality is I have no fucking clue why that woman hasn’t turned.” He shrugged dismissively. “Maybe the person who bit her wasn’t fully turned themselves, or maybe they didn’t fully break the skin so it didn’t take completely. Who knows. All I know is that she’s probably not gonna turn and so now we’ve got one more mouth to feed. Two, actually.” He said holding up two fingers. “And two more people draining our resources.”

He stepped back and turned away, giving Cas his profile. “That’s the reality. So you wanna join me in it, great. If not,” He turned his head to look at him, lifting his hand towards the entrance, “there’s the door. Or, you know, the tent flap.”

He dropped down onto the chair he’d vacated and rubbed a hand across his lips. He looked up when Cas spoke softly. 

“I don’t wanna live in this reality, Dean. I just can’t anymore. So I choose hope, I choose to be hopeful that maybe she marks a change, maybe things can be different. I’m telling you, this reality isn’t the only option.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s my only option. I learned a long time ago, and you should’ve too - hope is dangerous. Reality can’t hurt you like hope can.”

Cas’ expression was discouraged and disappointed as he nodded, looking away from Dean. He said nothing more as he turned and walked away.

***

A little while after Cas left, Dean moved out to his campfire and cooked and ate his ration of eggs and potatoes. As he drank his coffee, he was actively trying to push the argument with Cas out of his head. He had a camp to lead, he didn't need this crap clouding his judgment.

It was ridiculous to think the woman represented some kind of new hope for mankind. He rolled his eyes at the very notion.

Still, he found himself calling out to Johnston as the soldier walked by. The man stopped abruptly and turned fearful eyes on Dean. It drove Dean a little crazy that after more than two years of Johnston serving the camp, of protecting it and helping to run the day-to-day work and activities there, he still seemed petrified of Dean. 

I can't possibly be that scary, Dean thought with a deep scowl. Not like I've had him flogged for looking at me wrong or something.

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the fear radiating from the other man.

“You settled Y/N and her daughter?” He asked.

Johnston's blue eyes were slightly bulging and his prominent Adam's apple moved up and down as he swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

Dean waited a minute for him to elaborate before prodding him gruffly. “And?”

The other man seemed at a loss and Dean snapped his fingers impatiently. “And where did you put them?”

Understanding finally lit in Johnston's eyes and he began nodding. “Oh, yes sir. I put them in the southwest corner. Fourth row, the tent on the end.” He seemed proud to get that much out. But then he raised a finger. “Oh, the tent is red.”

Dean nodded and waved at him. “As you were.” 

Johnston saluted (even though Dean had told him a million times not to) and hurried on. Dean sighed deeply and without thinking about it too much, he headed in the direction of the red tent. 

When he got there he shouted out a hello, feeling slightly foolish and vowing then and there to make it a project to put some kind of wood near tents’ openings so people could knock.

The flap opened and Y/N's face lit up with a beaming smile when she saw him. “Hi!” 

Not knowing what to do with her enthusiasm, he just nodded. There was a slightly awkward moment and then Emma, her big blue eyes staring up at Dean, poked her head out from behind her mom, keeping her arms tightly wrapped around her hips and leaning her head into her side.

Y/N lifted her arm a little so Emma could shuffle out from behind her a bit more. She combed down Emma's slightly flyaway curls with her fingers and then settled her hand on the little girl's thin shoulders.

She gestured to Dean. “Say hi to Mr. Winchester.”

The little one just pressed closer and looked away from Dean to bury her face in her mother's side.

Y/N gave him a slightly chagrined look. “She isn't usually this shy.” She said by way of apology. 

But Dean simply shook his head. Unlike Johnston, he understood all too well why this blue-eyed moppet was scared of him. She'd watched him nearly end her mother's life - not something she was ever likely to forget.

Dean hated that that realization came with a trace of guilt. Feeling very annoyed with himself, he straightened up and nodded curtly.

“Good.” He said succinctly, responding to nothing. “I just wanted to make sure you were settled properly.”

He turned in an abrupt about face and started walking away. 

“Dean, wait!” Y/N called out to him. He turned back to see her wave Emma back into the tent and head towards him. When she reached him she wore her bright smile again, and he frowned deeper as a result.

“I wanted to ask you about something.”

Dean said nothing, waiting for her to continue. She seemed to be a little nervous, fiddling with her hair. She finally clasped her hands in front of her and continued. 

“So, I was talking to Eric?” She said as though it was a question. Dean did give her a puzzled look.

“Eric?” He asked.

Y/N had opened her mouth to continue talking, but then closed it and gave her head a shake, pointing to the side at nothing in particular. 

“Eric Johnston? The…soldier that brought us to this tent and helped us set it up.”

Dean nodded in recognition. Yes, he remembered now, that was his first name. He never used it. “Right.” He waved her on. 

“And I was asking about school for Emma, but he said there isn't one.”

Dean shook his head. “No, the parents, guardians, they look after that themselves.”

Y/N nodded. “Yes, but I was thinking…well, I was a third grade teacher in the…before.” She thumbed behind her as though their former, normal lives were just right behind them, around the corner, instead of existing eons ago.

She shrugged. “So, I was thinking that maybe I could start a kind of school for the kids here. Eric figured there were about 35 or 40 of them. So I thought we could hold lessons somewhere outside most days, but if the weather's bad, maybe we could use the main cabin.”

Dean was scowling harder now, so she rushed on. “It would only be for a few hours a day. Wouldn't be anything spectacular, but it could help them with reading and math, and just some basics. Keep the kids' minds occupied and give their parents a couple of hours on their own.”

She shrugged. “It's nothing much, but it might help people feel a little more hopeful about the future.” She finished with another bright smile.

Dean felt his ire rise with that word again - hopeful. This woman was going to upset everything, tip the precarious balance of the camp on its head. 

He shook his head angrily. “We don't do shit like that. This isn't a fucking gated community, okay? These are survivors who get by together. That's it.”

Y/N's eyes were so earnest it almost hurt to look at her. “But, don't you see, it could be a community. Not gated, but open. We could do more for each other than just survive.”

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, if you're unhappy with being here, we can happily help you on your way.”

Y/N raised her hands. “No, of course not, that's not what-”

Dean cut her off with a cold, hard voice. “And you can't teach kids like this.” He waved a hand towards the red rings encircling her irises. “You'd scare the shit outta them. Take one look at you and freak out, thinking you're gonna turn into a monster any minute.”

That pulled Y/N up short and Dean could see by her slight flinch that his words had hit home. She was quiet a minute and her smile was dimmed as she nodded.

“Right. That's…no, you're right.” She gave an imitation of a chuckle. “There aren't many mirrors around, so I…sometimes I forget about…” she gestured to her eyes.

She shook her head. “I was just trying to find a way to be helpful, you know.” She shrugged. “But yeah…” She trailed off and Dean felt a sick gnawing sensation in his stomach as she gave a final dull smile. 

“Okay, well thanks.” She said as she turned away. Though what she could have possibly been thanking him for, he had no idea.

He thought about Cas’ disappointed expression, and Y/N's bent smile and he gritted his teeth. This morning was not going well for him.

The day didn’t get much better from there. He spent most of it planning their next raid for canned goods. They were running low, and it was September already. Over the next couple of months they’d have to make sure they had whatever they needed for the winter. Once the snow hit, the winter roads were sometimes impassable for weeks at a time. 

They were having to go further and further out from the camp to find supplies. The area was becoming picked clean. There were four or five other, smaller, groups of survivors within about a hundred square miles of their camp. For the most part they all rubbed along together alright, pretty much just leaving a big buffer of space between the camps, and leaving each other alone.

However, Dean was starting to worry about what would happen now that resources and supplies around them were starting to run out. In this last year, they’d started having to drive hours and hours away from camp to find un-ransacked grocery stores and restaurants in the abandoned cities. They could manage it because of their size, but some of the smaller groups had very few working vehicles, making it harder for them to travel. Dean worried what would happen when they got desperate. 

He wanted to be ready for winter.

So, he tried to spend the day planning the best route to hit as many cities as they could without hitting too many known Croat hives, or cleaned out cities. But he kept getting interrupted by his soldiers. The concerns of the camp were unending, and sometimes felt completely overwhelming. 

The morning kept being interrupted by issues and grievances his soldiers brought him from some of the camp inhabitants. He tried to put out as many fires as he could, while continuing to plan the raid.

Then he ended up spending far too much of the afternoon talking about drainage and irrigation with the young guy who used to be an engineering student, and an old farmer who’d spent his whole life in the fields. The two very different men were teaming up to try and see about making bigger winter crop plots this year. They’d grown some winter vegetables last fall and winter, and even that small amount of fresh food had made a big difference in the health of the campers. So this year they were hoping for more. 

Finally the men went off to plan some more and Dean folded up his maps. He hadn’t made much headway into the raid route, but the light was getting low; he’d have to come back to it. He fried up some spam and a few of the cooked, frozen potatoes they’d put up in the spring and sat beside his fire for a while before tossing water on it and going inside his tent. He lit a lantern and started to try and look at the maps again, but he was interrupted by Risa.

Dean lifted his chin towards her by way of greeting. She came forward and dropped a small piece of machinery on his table. “Here’s the piston for that Ford we towed back last week.” She said, referring to the truck they’d found abandoned on the side of the road with no owners in sight. “Should work.”

Dean nodded. “Great.”

Risa lingered a moment and then walked closer to him. “How are you?”

Dean shrugged. “Fine.”

She moved forward to stand between his legs and then reached out to run her hands over his cheeks and down his neck. She bent over and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.

“I miss you.” She said, her voice softer and more intimate than it ever was when they were soldier and commander. “You haven’t been to see me in weeks.”

“Sorry.” Dean said gruffly and then let her kiss him again, kissing her back for a moment before pulling away. 

Not willing to give up, Risa straddled his outstretched thighs and reached for his zipper. “It’s okay, I bet I can find ways to entice you back.” She said, dark brown eyes flashing with heat.

But Dean grabbed her hands and pulled them away. He kissed her briefly to try and ease the sting of his rejection. “Sorry, not tonight.” He nodded towards the maps on his table. “I’ve got shit I gotta finish.”

Risa bit into her lip, looking down at their hands entwined in his lap, and then nodding before she stood up. She lifted her mouth in a smile. “Yeah, sure. ‘Kay.” She nodded again and pointed to the piston as she left. “Let me know if that works.”

Dean sighed as his tent flap fell back into place. And that was the third person he’d disappointed today. Without his permission Y/N’s face floated into his mind. Despite what he’d said to her, he couldn’t deny how beautiful that face actually was. The red pigment in her eyes made no difference to that beauty.

He couldn’t erase the image of her crestfallen expression when he told her she’d scare the kids. That was complete bullshit and he knew it. Five seconds in her shiny presence and the kids would be eating out of her hand.

He growled slightly as he could feel himself caving. But would it really be so bad to let her teach the kids somewhere? They’d have to stay out of the way, and she’d have to keep them all quiet when they were together in a mob. But it might actually free their parents up for more of the endless tasks it took to maintain the camp.

If he let her do it, he’d have to make sure she knew he was only saying yes so that they could have the kids out of the way for a while. This wasn’t some hopeful mission for the future. It was just a practical solution for improving the camp.

He nodded. Yeah, I'll tell her tomorrow. 

But even as he though it, he got up and walked out of his tent, moving towards the southwest corner of the camp. Within a couple minutes he was standing in front of the red tent and again found himself clearing his throat and embarrassingly calling out a hello, like he was the Avon lady.

Y/N poked her head out of the tent and smiled. But she lowered her eyes a little and wouldn’t look directly at him. He wanted to punch himself.

“Hi.” She said softly, and then stepped out of the tent into the cool, late evening breeze. She waved towards the tent. “Emma’s sleeping.”

He nodded. She rubbed her arms and he frowned. “Didn’t they give you a jacket?” Then he noticed she was still wearing the grubby clothes she’d been wearing when she came. “And clean clothes?”

Y/N nodded and even in the dusky twilight Dean could see her blush. “Yes, but I realized…I’m all dirty.” She shrugged. “Nothing but basin baths for weeks. I’d like to get cleaner before I put on the clean clothes. One of your soldiers said there was a place where people went to bathe nearby. But he didn’t have time to take me.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, there’s a river about four miles south of camp. It does the trick. I’ll take you tomorrow.” 

He scowled; he didn’t know where that offer had come from. He could have had one of his soldiers, or any other camper really, take her out to the river. But he didn’t rescind the offer and Y/N nodded happily.

“That would be wonderful.” She said rapturously. 

Dean nodded curtly again. “Yeah. And uh…you can do the school.” Y/N looked directly at him now and her face was surprised, but clearly thrilled. 

“Really?” 

He nodded and scowled. “Yeah, the kids'll get over it." He said with a nod to her red eyes. "But just make sure you all stay out of the way of the work in the camp. And let the parents know we’ll have some work for them during the hours their kids are gone. We can use the extra hands.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m sure they’ll be happy to help out where they can.”

Impulsively it seemed, she threw her arms around him, squeezing his arms tight to his sides as she hugged him. Shock coursed through him and he didn’t know how to move. Thankfully it was a brief hug and she was soon pulling away.

“Thank you so much, Dean. I’m so excited. I think it’s going to make a real difference. Just wait.”

As she bid him goodnight and bounced back into her tent, he shook his head, frowning deeply. 

Fuck, he thought, everything is too different already.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @deangirl96

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

[sanctum-of-ramshackle]

“I am…You know who I am”

[TWST AU]: What if MC/Yuu was an Iron Man fan and a genius engineer who created their own iron suit?

[Gender Neutral MC/Yuu]

[Synopsis]: In this timeline, MC/Yuu is this variant of Iron Man and they are titled as “Iron Force” in Twisted Wonderland.

[TW]: Some cursing

[(A/N)]: Hi everyone. It’s been quite some time since I posted TWST magic. I have been busy with IRL stuff and working on non-TWST ideas on my main blog (@swiftyangx12). I unexpectedly took a break from the fandom, but slowly getting back into business and honestly, I miss my boys...

[AC/DC - Back in Black]

Alright, let’s see how this goes…

MC/Yuu was a huge fan of Iron Man and an aspiring genius engineer back in their home world.

After hearing about Stark’s sacrifice, they felt devastated that their idol passed on.

They coped by studying and building inventions, motivating themselves to honor their role model.

Then one day as they were walking to school in New York, something happened.

At first, they were exiting from their usual coffee shop and the next thing you know, they’re confined into darkness.

MC/Yuu: Alright. Not the weirdest thing since being dusted away for five years.

After feeling their surroundings to escape from their imprisonment, they heard somebody chatting about how heavy the door is to open up.

Then after blazing fire hued in blue, blew up the the door and this triggers MC/Yuu’s iron suit (with the latest nanotechnology) to encase them, activated to confront what was a danger to their safety.

When they’re revealed to Grim, he got scared. Because it’s not everyday to see someone in an iron suit and he just screamed as a reaction.

MC/Yuu holds out their hand ready to blast away whatever that creature was.

MC/Yuu: What the hell are you? A talking cat? Raccoon? A demonic alien from another dimension?

Grim: I’m neither of those! I am “The Great Grim”!

MC/Yuu: Who? Look, buddy. I think I got kidnapped and was somehow dragged here. I need to find my way out. *Activates their boosters and flies out of the room*

Grim: Hey wait! *Chases after them*

They basically flew out of the academy and toured around the whole world having to realize they’re not on their Earth anymore.

Then MC/Yuu return back to NRC, clumsily landed in during the Dorm Sorting Ceremony.

Every student was startled by a stranger in an iron suit.

Grim unceremoniously barged into the room.

Grim: You’ll never escape from The Great Grim!

MC/Yuu: Okay. *Holds their blaster up aiming at the menace*

Then Crowley came rushing in, putting a stop to the whole mess.

Crowley: Seize your fighting!

MC/Yuu: Uhh…Who are you? *Powering down their blaster and opens up their mask*

Crowley: I am Dire Crowley, Headmaster of Night Raven College.

MC/Yuu: …J.A.R.V.I.S., scan him.

Crowley: What-

After the chaos was settled, Crowley dragged MC/Yuu to his office for them to explain their dilemma. They also explained what they can offer for NRC with upgrades around the area.

Oh! Grim is still with MC/Yuu because after he listened to what they can do, he decided to be the greatest mage with technological advances.

Grim: MC/Yuu, who are you always talking to?

MC/Yuu: My A.I. assistant. They’re called J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0, “Just A Really Very Intelligent System, but as my own version.” He helps me hypothesize possible outcomes when testing my inventions, and assist fighting bad guys by my side.

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: I’m also their assistant for daily tasks and reminders. Grim, you and MC/Yuu are scheduled by Headmaster Crowley to pick up supplies for the upcoming NRC’s annual Magift Games at 7 p.m.

Grim: No way! I don’t wanna do chores.

MC/Yuu: You get to ride with me in my iron suit.

Grim: Oh yeah, I forgot. Let’s go!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

MC/Yuu: What kind of power source I can use around this world? *Snaps their fingers* A Mage Stone. Crowley, by any chance, are there other magical crystals back in that Dwarf Mine?

Crowley: There are, but I mustn’t let you go there since it was closed due to a “monster” you fought last time.

MC/Yuu: Alright. I’m still getting that power source.

[5 hours later]

MC/Yuu: *Inserts the mage stone in their suit* There. My very own Arc Reactor.

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: Congratulations, MC/Yuu. You discovered a new element.

MC/Yuu: Definitely. Sourced a new element as this is my first.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Vil: MC/Yuu, explain this. *Shows them an online article*

MC/Yuu: *Reads the article* Oh yeah. I had an interview and became a philanthropist.

Vil: You’re basically a celebrity by this point. What did you do to become this well-known?

MC/Yuu: I just helped some people. Carrying thousands of construction materials, assist upcoming tech companies with my knowledge from my experience and gave children the best rides of their lives…Oh my god, I’m becoming like my idol. Except the rich and player parts.

Vil: You’re a celebrity, MC/Yuu. You would have plenty of Madol from all this exposure.

MC/Yuu: Okay, I’m becoming rich, but I can’t pull no bitches.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[During Chapter 2]

Iron Force: *Charges at Overblot!Leona and kicks him mid-air*

OB!Leona: *Knocked the wind out of his lungs*

Iron Force: Okay J.A.R.V.I.S., any chances?

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: 90% success rate of subduing the target.

Iron Force: Then 10% avoiding this mess. *Knocks him to the ground*

OB!Leona: Why that little- *Punched in the face*

Iron Force: *Repeatedly punching him* Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

MC/Yuu: *Wearing glasses*

Azul: I didn’t know you wear glasses. Trying to appear as an intellectual?

MC/Yuu: Hm? Oh, no. My sight is fine. I just transferred J.A.R.V.I.S. in these modified frames.

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: Scan completed. You have a slight iron deficiency and recommend a salad in your diet, MC/Yuu.

Azul: Did it just talked?

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: Yes. I also scanned your physiology and it reveals you’re 95% suspicious of my existence and 5% envious of me for being MC/Yuu’s A.I. assistant.

Azul: I certainly do not envy your virtual assistant.

J.A.R.V.I.S. 2.0: Oddly enough, your biology categorized as relations of Cephalopod.

Azul: …

MC/Yuu: You’re an octopus?

Azul: May we change the subject?

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Iron Force: *Flying around the island*

Ortho: *Flying beside them* Hi MC/Yuu!

Iron Force: What the f-?! *Halts their flight and hovers with Ortho* I didn’t know somebody else created an iron suit in this world.

Ortho: Iron suit? Oh! You mean my structure. Nii-san helped with my upgrades.

Iron Force: You’re not wearing a suit? You’re an android with highly advanced artificial intelligence?

Ortho: Yes!

MC/Yuu: …Whose your brother?

[An hour later]

Idia: *Finishing a difficult level*

MC/Yuu: *Hacks into his door as it slides open* You didn’t tell me you’re a tech genius!

Idia: *Startled* AHH! Who let you in?!

MC/Yuu: I let myself in. Buddy, we need to collaborate-

[That’s how a friendship was made.]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[Imagine H.Y.D.R.A. somehow created a portal and enter into TWST]

Iron Force: Oh boy. Thank god I made spare suits. *Activates the other suits*

Jack: You’re fighting alone?

Iron Force: Not alone. I made some for you guys to help everyone. *Closes their mask*

[The First Years enter into their respective suits.]

Ace: *In his suit* How do you work in this thing?

Iron Force: There’s an automated mode to help control your suit. You even get your own A.I. assistants I programmed in each of your suits.

J.E.R.K.: Hello, I am J.E.R.K. Your A.I. assistant, Mr. Trappola.

Ace: Really? Jerk?

Iron Force: The words behind the acronym are better.

✨[Reblogs are appreciated and helps create more content]✨

[heavenlycloud]

quit: park sooyoung x fem! reader

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

cw// toxic relationships, HEAVY smut, swearing, situationships / fwb, manipulation, crying, NSFW again

men and minors dni!

a/n: i saw this pic of joy while looking for new layout pics and i couldn't help but let my mind wander...plus i've been dying to write something for this song. i'm still getting used to writing nsfw so pls be nice :) feedback would be greatly appreciated since this is my first time posting nsfw on my blog

and you say that i'm the devil you know and i don't disagree. no, i don't see the harm...they say, "you crazy, just leave him, he'll suffocate you" but i wanna be in your arms...

everyone in your friend circle warned you about her. they told you she would do more harm than good. they said she's not genuine, that she's only after one thing, sex. it'd be a lie if you said you didn't believe them because you knew getting involved with her was a disaster waiting to happen. however, there was something about her that was so addicting and you weren't ready to give up the drug that she was...you probably never will be. she's just that damn good.

they say, "no, don't pick up the phone, let them think there's nobody home" but i'm under your spell... 'cause when you call my heart starts to roll, i always want more, it's my heaven, my hell...

your bedroom window blew cool, night air into your apartment as you sat on your bed. you mindlessly ran your fingers along the cords of your electric guitar playing the first song that came to mind. surely the residents in the floors above and below you would complain about being woken up to kiss it better by rihanna, but you didn't care. it was well past one in the morning and you should've been asleep but here you were.

right as you finished the end of the chorus a muffled humming sound came from between your bed and pillows. you didn't even have to check to know who it was, and you definitely knew you shouldn't answer. all of your friends told you to ignore her calls, let her think you're not around so you ignored it. instead of calling again, you heard a loud knock at the front door of your apartment. ignoring the advice of everyone else and your own intuition, you got up and answered the door.

we're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet. but i can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine...

sooyoung stood in the doorway looking like an abandoned puppy with her hair damp and wearing a sullen face. her eyes were red with her tearstained cheeks and swollen lips, "h-he broke up with me..." her voice cracked and she hiccupped between her words, the same ones you heard at least twice a month.

the opportunity to turn her away was still there but when she looked up at you with that same damn pout, it was over. without missing a beat you pulled her into your apartment and closed and locked the door behind you both. you led her to your room where your guitar and amp had been pushed off to a corner, leaving your bed open.

she walked into your arms and gripped onto the back of your shirt as she sobbed, "i-i hate him so much." you pulled her into your chest and agreed, "i do too." sooyoung pulled away from you and bunched her hands in the hem of your oversized t shirt, "i need you, y/n. please... "

i can't quit you, i can't quit you...yeah, i'm gonna regret it... know I'm gonna regret it.

god does she know exactly what to say especially with that stupid pout you always give into. you bring your hands up to hold her face, and gently wipe her tears away with your thumbs. sooyoung leaned into your touch and kissed the inside of one of your palms sweetly. you swiped your thumb across her lip slowly dragging the motion out and she sucked your finger into her mouth. her soft tongue swirled around your skin and you affirmed, "i'll make you feel better i promise. let me take care of you, baby."

when you said, "baby, i just want you to lay me down and we'll fuck the pain away" 'cause skin on skin, i feel nothing but the burning of desire and that's just foreplay...

you pressed your lips against sooyoung's and she melted into your touch with ease. her arms slipped from inside her jacket and you tossed it aside. you found the zipper on the back of her dress and unzipped it slowly, letting the material hang from her body before completely dropping to the floor. she stepped out of the skirt and kicked it aside to another spot on your floor. your lips pressed against her neck until you reached her collarbone where you stopped.

sooyoung whined at the loss of contact and you smirked to yourself in satisfaction. you stood behind her and lifted her chin with your finger to angle her gaze to your wall length mirror. sooyoung stared at herself right as you unclipped her bra and let it fall away. one hand rested on her waist while another on her shoulder. you ran your fingertips down her arm and she let out a soft gasp.

your breath ghosted her neck as you said, "look at how pretty you are." she shyly turned her face into your neck and one hand found your wrist as you moved your other one to her panties. the hand on her chest teased her breast, tugging at one of her nipples eliciting a high pitched sound from her, "a-aah." you smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, before holding her head up so she could see herself. your free hand slipped into her panties and with the lightest of touches, ghosted her dampened folds.

sooyoung squeezed her eyes shut and you clicked your tongue, "ah ah, look at your reflection. see how pretty you look?" her eyes slowly opened and you began rubbing slow circles around her heated center, ignoring where she needed it that most. sooyoung pleaded softly, "y/n...please." you hummed and dragged your thumb against her clit, making her knees buckle underneath her.

her weight rested on you and you smiled, "so needy and i haven't even done anything....do you know how much i love seeing you like this?" she didn't reply as you continued drawing patterns against her soaked pussy. she looked at you in the mirror and said, "y/n please." you slipped your hands from her panties and admired the sheen of slick. teasingly you brought them up to sooyoung's lips and watched her mouth fall open, just for you to lightly swipe her bottom lip and put your fingers in your own mouth.

you sucked her essence off of your fingers and hummed in satisfaction. watching as sooyoung pathetically licked her bottom lip for the smallest taste of herself, and feeling her sigh in relief against you. gently, you backed her against your bed and let her fall into the plush warmth. she was completely engulfed in your scent making her yearn for your touch even more. she looked up at you with those same doe eyes, searching for any signs of continuing your ministrations.

an airy gasp left her lips as you pressed the softest of kisses along her chest. you brushed your lips across one of her breasts and gently kissed one of her nipples while you free hand traced around the other. sooyoung let out a frustrated grunt as her chest pushed up for her hardened bud to meet your lips which only made you laugh. she breathed out, "please i need you..." you kissed the side of her breast and smiled, "you have me." she shook her head and repeated with more want, "no i need you to touch me."

looking up at her you pressed more kisses along her breast, swapping to the other before you asked, "where do you need me, baby?" sooyoung bit her lip as you sucked on her nipple and tugged on it with your teeth. when she didn't reply, you pulled away and started to move from atop her. in a panicked effort of desperation she snatched your hand into her own, and lowered it to her soaked heat, "here, i need you here." only then did you climb back over her and kiss down her toned abdomen, suckling marks and bites into her plush skin.

sooyoung spread her legs and let you settle between them, flinching slightly when your hand palmed her inner thighs. you ran your thumb over her heated flesh and nicked the surface with your teeth. by now you could smell how bad she wanted you and she was nearly shaking with desperation. just to put her on edge further, you kissed right against her folds, just missing where she wanted you most.

you coaxed smoothly, "tell me what you want, use your words, angel." sooyoung's voice came out just above a whisper as she said, "your mouth, please." heat flushed over her face when she looked down at you between her legs just in time to see you place a kiss to her clit. her hands flew to the top of your head just for you to slip one of your hands into her own.

the heat of your tongue against her molten center sent her eyes rolling to the back of her head. you laved through her folds hungrily tasting her as if she were the forbidden fruit from the heavenly garden. sooyoung breathily gasped and whined beneath you which sent a wave of confidence through your body. you let out a low moan, "you taste so good..." and it took everything in her to not let go right then and there. one of her hands fisted you soft bedsheets while the other squeezed onto yours, fingers intertwined with your own. when you gave her swollen bud another light suck she held her breath until she couldn't anymore. her body stuttered for a moment and a high pitched moan fell past her lips.

your fingers slipped into her heated core, helping her ride through her high before slowly kissing up her body to meet her lips. the taste of herself lingered on your tongue and filled her mouth, making her moan weakly. you brushed a piece of hair from her face and smiled softly, "my pretty girl." sooyoung's face twisted up at the nickname and she mumbled, "that's what he called me too..." immediately a pit of aggravation filled your stomach and you leaned closer to her, lips barely touching hers, "you're thinking of him when i'm right here?"

out of pure frustration you pushed her lightly away from you and started to get up, not knowing why you even bothered because she was always like this. no matter what you'd done in the past she always ran back to that bum ass man of hers. sooyoung grabbed your hand and pleaded, "no wait- please. y/n i'm sorry i just want you...it's always been you." she was too damn good at saying what you wanted to hear because no part of you genuinely believed her last words, yet you found yourself crawling back over her ready to make her mean what she said.

this time will be different.

we're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet. but i can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine

you kissed her on her lips again and pushed her back down into your bed as she stared up at you. there was a specific hunger in your gaze that she'd never seen before that had her more excited than before.

i can't quit you, i can't quit you. yeah i'm gonna regret it, i know i'm gonna regret it

sooyoung's legs fell back open as you made your way back into the same spot before, kissing her swollen bud and laughing when she jumped. she rolled her head to rest on her shoulder and whined, "n-ngh i- wait i'm still sensitive..." you looked up at her through a hooded gaze, "i don't care. you look so beautiful under me." you connected your lips to her heated core and sucked harshly. her thighs closed around your head and you pushed them back open with enough force to make her whimper.

your fingers prodded at her entrance, your tongue dragging from her slit up to her engorged clit. sooyoung's hands violently fisted the sheets as she tried to hold out longer. but you were no match for her as you knew her body like the back of your hand. her second climax came and her sweet honey oozed from her center and onto your tongue. you sucked more into your mouth without wasting a drop before holding it there. she watched in near horror as you made your way up to her, tapping on her chin wordlessly.

sooyoung's lips parted and you stuck your sopping wet fingers into her mouth, drool running down her lips. when you withdrew them, you held her chin and tipped her head back slightly before spitting into her mouth. the mixture of your saliva and her slick filled her mouth, and she swallowed it without hesitation. your fingers massaged her soft pussy, making her begin to close her legs again. you looked down at her and said, "be good for me, open your legs." she followed your orders and squeezed her mouth shut as her thighs began to shake.

you looked at the tears that began to fill her eyes, only smiling and rubbing her center harder until her tears fell. she craned her neck up to meet her lips as you began to lean down, but instead you dragged your tongue along her smooth cheek, licking the trail of tears from her face. you laughed as she began to squirm more, beginning to beg, "i- y/n i- something is...i can't please-" you pushed your fingers further into her heated center, letting your thumb lightly bump her clit.

she began to close her legs and you pulled out of her and quickly reached forward. you laughed in her face as tears fell from her eyes and she nearly screamed, her swollen nub squeezed harshly between your thumb and pointer finger. sooyoung begged you, "ah- i- y/n-" you silenced her with a kiss and let her go, watching her sigh of relief only briefly until you pushed back into her.

you looked her in the eyes and told her firmly, "you can take it sooyoungie." her swollen pout and pleading eyes found yours and she repeated to herself pitifully, "i can take it. i-i can take it." you kissed her lips and cheek as you drew her only seconds from her third orgasm, "such a good girl for me huh?" she nodded eagerly as tears fell from her eyes and you kissed them away, "such a pretty girl when you cry for me. my pretty angel, my sooyoung." that moment the last name fell from your lips you felt her walls squeeze your fingers and push them out.

a stream of clear liquid leaked from her pussy as she shook beneath you, her own hand finding her clit and massaging it through her orgasm. you didn't hesitate to go down and lick up her mess, humming at the salty taste that was so uniquely hers. a taste you'd found yourself addicted to, always craving for more.

i can't quit you, i can't quit you, oh baby. i can't quit you, i can't quit you, oh babe

sooyoung pushed your head away and you kissed her inner thighs that were still slightly shaking. she had her eyes closed in a fucked out bliss that only you'd ever given her. you smirked to yourself and asked her sweetly, "who's on your mind now, angel?" sooyoung's eyes opened weakly and she hummed, "hmmm? s' you....only y/n. only want y/n." you placed a kiss on her cheek and laid beside her before she curled into your arms, tucking her head into your side. as you thought you'd finally won, sooyoung was beside you smiling to herself because she was the only winner, she always was.

you were only a pawn in her little game but she'd be lying if she said you weren't her favorite player. all this time people told you that she was obsessed with you, the idea of you. but in reality you were addicted to all of her, just another person hooked on the thought of winning the game. always under the impression that you were closer and closer to winning the grand prize, winning her over. but in reality you were just another piece in her puzzle. nevertheless, you'd never quit all that was park sooyoung.

i'm gonna regret it babe, babe, babe, gonna regret it, yeah, i'm gonna regret it...

[wildlife4life]

Seven (+) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by super amazing @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @glorious-spoon @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz @devirnis @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks and @diazsdimples. Thank you all so much!

Alright, so I know haven't been as active since dropping the first chapter of NFL Buck. I've just been sort of down because that same day, the Super Bowl Champs had their parade and rally, and just after it ended there was a mass shooting. My younger sister was there with some friends and they got away unharmed, but when she didn't answer my message for a long 30 minutes, I truly thought the worst. I've just been so sad and angry for Kansas City, for the US really and I just couldn't get into the spirit of writing. I'm not getting into the politics of it all today and my sister is coming for a visit soon, so I'm feeling marginally better. KC Strong.

First chapter of NFL Buck has been dropped, but everything else I've posted for this fic can be found here. Here is a snippet from the Eddie Begin's arc of NFL Buck.

Hurricane Harvey was relentless for almost four days, bullying southern Texas with unforgiving wind and an exurbanite amount of rain. Houston fire department and so many others worked day and night to help those who had not evacuated.  It was absolute chaos, and it blew through Eddie’s entire life. The storms had wreaked havoc on the cell towers, which meant service was spotty to none and radios became the main source of communication for rescuers. By some miracle, though, the internet connection at the firehouse held strong. It was slow and glitched out here and there, reminding Eddie too much of his time in Afghanistan. He watched his infant son grow up through a screen, with his very upset wife barely holding on and his parents hovering nearby, souring the video calls even further. Christopher was no longer a whimpering baby in his mother’s lap but looking at his saddened son on a glitching iPad screen with a tense Maddie sitting beside him, was too familiar.  Add in the argument he had with Buck just before, and the threat of danger just outside the firehouse, Eddie was back to being a scared 19-year-old in war riddled country. “Dad, grandma said we’re not going to visit Buck anymore. That he’s too busy. And Maddie tried to call him, but he didn’t answer and…” The eight-year old’s voice trails off, his lips trembling. Eddie bites his inner cheek hard. This was on him. He gave into his mother’s worries and demands about traveling through Texas during the hurricane.  Helena was too stubborn and being his mother, she knew every damn button to push, and Eddie was tired of fighting.  So, he reluctantly agreed to cancel the visit and his mother grinned a little too sharply before stating, “I’m sure Maddie will enjoy having her brother to herself.” Another ploy to take Christopher and Eddie fucking fell for it. Then his mother took it a step further by graciously telling Buck and Maddie herself, that Christopher would no longer be joining them in Dallas and to enjoy their time together for as long as they need it. Eddie knew his mother didn’t approve of his relationship with Buck, more so than his previous one with Shannon. The only reason she kept her mouth shut was the potential back lash of upsetting Christopher. But she already succeeded in having a hand in driving away Shannon and she probably believed she could do the same with Evan.

With this fic, there are a lot of canon events with twists. The usual timeline does not exists. But I hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @bekkachaos @theotherbuckley @lover-of-mine @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @aroeddiediaz @giddyupbuck @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @buck-coded @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @gayedmundodiaz @transboybuckley @nmcggg

[hwashotcheeto]

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑴𝒆, 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏

NightPrince!Park Seonghwa X DawnPrincess!Reader

Summary: The Night Prince disappeared into thin air. No one knows where he is or why he left. You, his wife, send a desperate prayer to the moon to return him to you.

WC: 735

CW: First person POV, angst, fluff

AN: Boo, surprise angst.

Yeah this one is different. Born of a bout of depression and guilt, and an idea @malldreamprincess and I thought of during Paradigm era (wdym it's been over a year since then). But I really wanted to post it, so...here you go.

Named after and heavily inspired by "From Me, The Moon" by Lav, please go listen to it, it's beautiful.

Tag List: @cherrycel @mxnsxngie @malldreamprincess

“Is the moon still in love with the sun?” I whispered into the empty room, the tears on my face running onto the pillow.

The moonlight splayed itself across the floor of my bedroom from my balcony. The sheer curtains gladly let it pass by, welcoming it in, even.

I'd wondered about it for years. Did he love me as much as he vowed he did, on that wonderful day we were joined in holy matrimony? Did he lie to me? Was it all a lie?

Was I ever truly his sunrise? His dawn? His sun?

The daylight to his moonlight?

If I was, then why had he disappeared? Why did he vanish without a trace? Why did he leave me?

Two years, and I wasn't the same as I used to be.

Two years after having returned to my home kingdom. A disgraced princess. An “almost queen.”

They could throw all the names they wanted at me. They could call me whatever they wanted. I knew in my heart that I loved him. That I was faithful. That I never would've abandoned him.

And he still disappeared. He still left. No one knew what happened to him.

I rose from my bed and crossed the room, unlocking the doors to the balcony and pulling them open to step out onto it.

The night air was biting, and seeped in through my thin nightgown. I braved the chill and laid my hands on the cold stone barrier, leaning against it, looking up at the moon.

The moon. Where my prince had believed to had come from. That he was a moondrop, a gift from the gods.

“My dear moonlight,” I whispered, “Please return to me. I want nothing more than to be in your arms again.”

The tears flowed down my cheeks again. The wind blew against my face and made me shiver.

“I don't know where or why you've gone. Most days, I don't care. All I want is for you to come home safe. For my husband to return to me.”

“I'm so sorry, my sunrise.”

I whirl around and my eyes meet his. My love. My husband. I heard his voice, I saw his face.

A hallucination? I blinked, and he remained. He remained, standing as he always did. Like a royal, proper prince would.

With not a scratch on him.

I ran forward and threw myself into his arms, hugging him tighter than I ever had before. He held me tight, and I never felt so safe.

My husband. My love. My moonlight.

“You're here,” I sobbed. I could hear him whimper.

“I'm here,” he repeated.

He was here. He'd returned to me. After so long, he'd returned to me when I needed him most. When I was beginning to think he never would. When I was wondering if he ever loved me.

I lifted my head and held his cheek. Again, not a single scratch on him. No scars, no markings. His skin was as clear as it could've been.

“My moonlight, where have you been?” I wiped his tears with my thumb, and he held my hand as he leaned against it.

Normally, I'd be demanding answers and making him tell me who the hell he thought he was disappearing for two years without a word to anyone. To me, his family, his kingdom.

But when he closed his gorgeous moonlit eyes and kissed my hand, his face crumpling in another sob, I couldn't bring myself to demand anything of him.

I pulled him closer as I reached up, and he met me in the middle in a sweet, loving kiss. Euphoria bloomed in my veins as his lips pressed against mine, stars exploded behind my eyes. I realized then how bad I craved his touch.

When he pulled back, his lips hovered above mine, and his eyes looked into mine. He reached out to hold my face as well, cradling the back of my head and side of my face. I gratefully leaned into it.

“I'm so sorry I left you, my dawn,” he whispered. “I won't ever leave without telling you.”

“Why did you leave at all?” I croaked out, my throat closing up.

Grief washed over his face. Dread rolled around in the pit of my stomach.

I wasn't prepared for any of the words he said next.

“I returned to the moon.”

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[lackofbrains]

i dont really know how to work tumblr posts and im not really a good writer but i wanted to write a velvet x reader story since theres hardly any on here

story info:

its kind of angst but like ends with fluff or whatever its called

so basically you’re like a pop artists along with velvet an veneer, and you’re like almost more famous than them and velvet gets really jealous and starts to hate you, but in the end she realizes she doesnt.

—————————————————————————-

y/n's POV

"so y/n your new song is at the top of the charts!" the interviewer fred or whatever his name was said, i honestly couldnt care to remember his name. "yeah. im so greatful for everyone who listens to my songs i wouldn't be here without all of you!" i replied directing the last part towards the audience in front of me. they all cheered in response and i smiled a bit, loving the attention and thankful for the fans. "awww, thats so sweet! so we need to know, is there any new songs in the making?" he asked me really prominently on the need part. "welllllll" i drug out my word trying to thing of a good response. i get really awkward and anxious around huge crowds, kind of a bad thing for a pop star but. "i may be working on a new song, look out for teasers on my instagram." im so excited for the new song to release its definitely gonna be one of my best songs yet "okay we'll make sure to check!" he glanced down at his watch, i guess the interview was finally over thank goodness. "well, y/n. looks like our interview is sadly over, it was great having you thanks so much for coming" he said "no, thank you! this was great-" i stood from the comfy sofa i was on "and thank you all for coming!" as i said that the crowd went crazy, mount rageons screaming all over the place. it was kind of overwhelming so i probably walked faster than i needed to off stage, as i got backstage i blew out a sigh of relief, thankful for the opportunity to spread my music but also thankful it was over.

                                velvets POV

"ughhhhhhh" i groaned "i cant stand her and her goody two shoes self, shes so annoyinggggg" i complained to my brother, veneer. "shes not annoying velvet, she seems really nice." he replied to me, i abruptly took my feet off the coffee table they were on and turned to him. did he really just say that to me. "why are you defending our competition!" i basically screached at him, "sorry, velvet. i wasnt lying though, you just like to see the bad in people" he sighed, crossing his arms like the sassy twink he is. "i cant stand you sometimes! its like you want us to be second best." i really did not understand why he was defending someone thats trying to take MY crown. i got up off the couch and walked away from him, i mean yeah she may be nice and pretty but shes trying to take whats mine and that cannot happen."

(time skip to some award show thingy that i just made up bc it helps the plot)

                                y/n's POV

looking around i see so many different singers, some well known, some not as much and probably werent even invited in the first place. as my eyes scan the crowd of celebrities, looking for my friend, f/n, they land on no other than veneer himself, standing with my mortal enemy, velvet. the green haired twins were my competition and i had to beat them. i honestly didnt mind veneer too much, he seemed like a nice guy. velvet on the other hand, i had a totally different opinion on. ever since she basically said my music sucked in an interview of hers, and no i don't just watch all her interviews(yes you do dont lie), i havent liked her, thats an understatement. i cannot STAND velvet.

as i was in my own little word of dislike towards the prettier twin, i didnt notice someone standing right in front of me. i looked up expecting the brown caring eyes of f/n, only to be met with cold blue eyes. i sharply inhaled, to be honest scared out of my mind "y/n!" "what are you doing here?!" the green haired girl shriecked, "i was... invited..?" i replied in a hushed tone, not being able to find my voice. "well you shouldnt of been, your music sucks, and overall you dont deserve any award." she replied, flipping her hair asif i wasnt even there? "okay... well my song on top of the months best pop song chart says otherwise" i said turning around and walking away before she could hear the last part of that, she had really pretty eyes..

"y/n!" i hear from behind me, this time from a more scruffier voice. i turned around recognizing the voice was coming from f/n. "there you are! i was looking for you everywhere." "i saw.. i also saw your run in with the twins. tell me everything!" i groaned at that last bit "no f/n it was scary enough i dont need to repeat it." i replied also turning away from him "attention! all invited pop singers, please make your way to the stage!" 'finally' i thought to myself, ive had to wait an hour and a half through the rock, country andddd rap awards.

im going absolutely insane, why did i have to be seated RIGHT NEXT TO VELVET. its like torture, i could feel her eyes on me for the whole 10 minutes it took to introduce everyone, it was awful, but sort of nice in a way.

(time skip to the actual awards bc im a horrible writer and cannot care enough to try and fill the gap with sappyness)

"andddd the award goes to-" his eyes widened as he read the slip of paper with the award winners name on it "velvet and veneer-" he was interrupted once again only this time not by himself, but by the crowd behind him going crazy "wait!" he said and they all quieted down just enough to hear him, i looked beside me and velvets smile dropped hearing him say that "AND y/n y/ln!" the crowd went even louder this time, i gasped hearing my name "well dont just sit here come get the award..s?" all three of us walked torwards him, i looked to my left towards velvet and she actually smiled at me, and not even a condescending one! we both took the awards, as we walked back to our seats, velvets arm brushed against mine, i got so flustered i had to turn away so she didnt see me blushing. i dont know why i was acting so weird i hated her... right? "congratulations to the winners of this months most amazing pop stars!!" the crowd hadnt stopped yelling yet, i was fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat, picking at my hands, feeling a panic attack coming along, when suddenly i felt a hand on top of my own, locking fingers with me. i was so shocked i didnt even wanna look because i knew the amazingly pink painted nailed hands belonged to.... velvet.

she had held my hand the rest of the show, which in reality was about 10 minutes but felt like hours with her hand in mine, her hands were so soft.

(time skip to like after the show but like not left yet bc thats so unsexy an doesnt fit my amazing plot)

i was standing around the desert table talking to f/n, well it was really him talking about how much i deserved the award and how great my music is. he really knows how to make someone feel special. i looked around for velvet spotting her talking to her brother, i really wanted to speak to her, my "hatred" for her had turned to love in less than 3 hours.

"yeah you were obviously winning the awar-" f/n was cut off mid sentence by the green haired girl that i couldnt get out of my mind "hey y/n can i talk to you?" she asked me, her cold demeanor still up but i felt like there was something under her coldness, i followed her after muttering a quick "sorry" in f/n's direction.

we finally got to a deserted hallway when she finally spoke "are you okay?" she asked, cold demeanor slipping as soon as we were alone "y-yeah why wouldnt i be?" i asked stumbling over my words abit because of the close proximity between us..

velvets POV

her stuttering was kinda cute. "because you seemed like you were gonna pass out, babe" i couldn't catch myself before the pet name slipped out, i guess its out there that i dont reslly hate y/n now. i guess i just didnt like the idea of not being on top, but now that we're both on top its kinda nice. "oh yeah that..." she trailed off, blushing a bit, either from embarrassment or the pet name, probably the latter if we're being honest. "sorry, i just get a bit overwhelmed with thr crowds and loud screaming, which i know is weird since im a pop star- so i basically signed up for this-"y/n" "and they probably saw me too and they think i hate them now- and im gonna lose the award-"y/n" "and im not gonna be able to write music anymore because everyones gonna hate me, and ill have no money- and ill be homeless and-"y/n!" i finally got her attention finally silencing the rambling girl "sorry.." she looked really upset "its okay y/n, you dont need to apologize. you did nothing wrong i promise." i replied tucking a loose strand of hair behind her hair, finally noticing how close we were. "velvet" y/n whispered, as i cupped her cheek "hm?" i hummed leaning in a bit waiting for her to initiate what was about to happen(consent is sexy) "are you sure" she muttered "mhm" and with that she finally closed the gap, her soft lips meeting mine. when we finally seperated we were both panting from the lack of air. "that was..." "great" i finished her sentence. "would you wanna maybe, you know. go out tomorrow?" i asked, still a bit flustered from the kiss. "like a date?" she said teasingly "y-yeah. a date." "of course, what time are you picking me up" she said with a smirk "is 8 good?" "see you at 8 velvs" and with that she gave me one more peck and walked away.

[khytal]

ok gamers I rewatched tristamp one more time in order to write a post about the soundtrack, and some of the stuff I found blew my socks off (even though I've seen every episode like 6 times) so buckle up because oh my god. oh my god

this will cover most of both volumes of the OST (which you can find on spotify), with a focus on wolfwood, and a little bit of vash, meryl, and the eye of michael

...and a very thorough breakdown of "drain arm" :)

notes before I get into it: -I won't be analyzing the plant song because I. already wrote an entire separate thing about that haha (a link to that doc will be in the replies section of the notes if you're interested)

-you won't need to know anything about music theory, because I'm just pointing out where certain themes come up (with the exception of "duet", but I'll explain terminology there). timestamps will be included so you can listen for them as you read

-if you're obsessed with the OST like I am, most of this probably won't be anything new x) but I hope it's enjoyable regardless

-my credentials: I was a pianist for 10 years and an oboist for 7.5 years and I only had 1 semester of intermediate music theory but I got to analyze the 1st mvt of tchaik 5 and I think that permanently altered my brain chemistry

-the tracks I recommend being familiar with to have a better grasp on this post are: -> "whistling/blues harp in the wasteland" (vash's leitmotif) -> "reality" -> "childhood memories" -> "duet" -> "human subject" (eye of michael, or EoM, leitmotif) -> "drain arm" (technically optional)

-please don't take any of my interpretations/speculation as fact! you are absolutely free to come to your own conclusions I just have a lot of thoughts about the soundtrack lol 👍

here we go :]

EP1: -you can hear a variation of the plant song in "immigrant space explorer" (0:36-1:00)

-vash's leitmotif is first heard in "no man's land" (0:41-0:48)

-only about half of "mystery man" plays, and his leitmotif (0:38-0:51) is actually cut from the scene so it's not heard at all

EP2: -"escape" has vash's leitmotif from 0:18-0:31. they also took out the lyrics in the episode's version of the track x)

-it's possible that we'll hear "might is right" or a new arrangement of it if we get to see the rest of the nebraska family in future episodes, since there were posters of marilyn. I think people largely associate the song with EG the Mine but due to the track title and the fact that it first played in this episode, I feel like it's more about the nebraskas

-I'll talk about "childhood memories" in ep12 because it's related to rem's themes

EP3: -the plant song can be heard in "compatriots" (1:01-1:11)

-"reality" is first heard here, right before the episode in which wolfwood is introduced. keep this in mind for later :')

EP4: -"undertaker" has a dissonant sax part (0:48-0:54) that's similar to the one found in "irritation" (1:05-1:11), but it's an ascending passage rather than descending. it doesn't show up anywhere else so it might become a motif we'll hear in the future, but there's no way to know until the next part is released

-"planet zaji", from 0:55-1:04, has that one part from "time left" (1:02-1:09). it's heard while wolfwood's spinning the punisher around but I think it's just something that sounds cool, and you can't really hear it anyway because of the sound effects/dialogue. if zazie gets any additional themes in the future I might have more to say on this

-vash's leitmotif kicks in in "hungry !" (0:21-0:43) when wolfwood introduces himself at the end of the episode. I really like this track I hope we'll get to hear it again x)

EP5: -I don't think there's any meaning behind "shadow" borrowing from "worms network". I'm pretty sure it was just for mood (and to be fair it is a cool track)

-you can hear vash's leitmotif at the beginning of "boy and vash". this is the part where vash is escorting rollo back to the village

-"cyborg" introduces a new 4-note pattern (0:07-0:14) that I'm calling the eye of michael leitmotif. if hearing this reminds you of episode 6 then you already understand what I mean

-"dud" has vash's leitmotif as well (2:20-2:59), which starts playing when vash is begging rollo to wake up after wolfwood kills him

-only a small part of "human subject" (0:25-0:35) is used for the final scene, right when the windmills start turning. using the EoM leitmotif as a sendoff to the empty village is. really haunting

EP6 (this is a long one I'm sorry): -the EoM leitmotif can be heard in "reborn" (0:09-0:14, but it's easier to hear in 0:26-0:30). this is the opening scene where wolfwood guns down the deserter

-they do reuse "worms network" when livio first opens fire on vash but that's more for mood in my opinion. you could say it hints at zazie monitoring the sand steamer though

-we're probably going to hear "the desert rogue" again when the bad lads gang shows up in a future episode, possibly with a new arrangement for brilliant dynamites neon (this is one of my personal favorite tracks actually. it's a shame they didn't get to use the whole thing because 0:45 to the end is really cool)

-"boyhood" contains the EoM leitmotif and it's very in-your-face in this song (1:15-2:19). in the episode itself the track gets cut at around 2:10, but in the OST the piano motif from "orphanage" can be heard one more time right at the end of the song at 2:18-2:20. which is an evil thing to do. anyway

-"nicholas the punisher" is an arrangement of "reality". let that sit for a second, maybe go listen to those two tracks or something.

okay so we can look at this in a few different ways:

-> the end of episode 3 is of course a reality check, supported by the corresponding track being titled "reality" (even though it's fabricated by nai: to suggest and then prove to the people of no man's land that vash is indeed deserving of the $$6mil bounty; and to tell vash that his presence will pose a threat to humans). you know who else is supposed to be* grounded in reality? the pragmatic nicholas d wolfwood, who's introduced at the start of episode 4 *tristamp wolfwood hasn't quite found his resolve yet, as shown by his hesitation when livio appears

-> in the scene where "nicholas the punisher" is heard, vash is insistent on rescuing livio while wolfwood pushes back and says it's too late for him. he's clearly wishing he wouldn't have to eliminate livio though, and with "reality" as the foundation of this song, it presents wolfwood's inner turmoil in a new way for the audience: vash, who is physically right there trying to persuade him that there's still hope for his brother, vs his role as "nicholas the punisher" in sound, in his mind, and the "reality" that developed along with it (death is/can be a mercy, and sometimes it's necessary to sacrifice one life to save many)

(I also want to add that while legato's dialogue shows he intended for the orphanage to be eliminated through livio's death, it seems wolfwood didn't even realize that killing livio would mean more kids would be taken by the EoM for experimentation. he thought he had to choose between livio or the children, but it was a "test" of loyalty; and legato was attempting to obtain said loyalty by force)

-> outside of the episode, if you were to just listen to this track within the OST it's very representative of his character. contrary to "undertaker", which is fairly laid-back and....honestly kind of playful (and equally reflective of wolfwood's personality, when he's relaxed), "nicholas the punisher" is a more somber and contemplative piece. the fact that it's built on "reality" already suggests that he's someone whose beliefs conflict with vash's; and even without knowing that, both of wolfwood's themes contrast with the energy of "vash the stampede" quite clearly (even if I personally don't consider that track to be vash's official theme, it's still associated with him). I think it's really interesting that vash, the quieter one, has more raucous songs while wolfwood, the one with a sharp tongue, has calmer tracks :)

you might be wondering if "orphanage" is in "nicholas the punisher" and the answer is......yes, but actually, no. but kinda if you're delusional like me. this little pattern from 0:29-0:42 in "orphanage" is found in the low brass from 0:57-1:11 in "nicholas the punisher" (although it's in a different key and has a slight variation in the 2nd half). it's not quite the same, but both phrases start by going down a half step, then down a P5 interval (D->C#->F# for "orphanage", F->E->A for "nicholas the punisher"). lastly the sand steamer's leitmotif (I guess) is also present but that's. obviously because this is happening on the sand steamer lol

-"whom to kill, whom to let live" is just a faster/more tense arrangement of "orphanage" with saxophone over it. starting at 1:07 you can hear the worms leitmotif (1:31-1:34 in "worms network")

I can't say whether or not legato is already represented in the OST because he's currently not associated with any unique tracks, but they might tie the dissonant saxophone passage from "irritation" to him. it's first heard when legato stops wolfwood from escaping the facility, and as far as I can remember it's not played anywhere else. if he plays a bigger role in the next season, which I'm sure he will, I'll be keeping an ear out for this x) (I only mention the sax thing because I don't think he's represented by the sax solo that plays in "whom to kill, whom to let live")

EP7: -a little more of "the desert rogue" is heard when the bad lads make their way onto the sand steamer but it's very hard to make out over the gang yelling in the background lmao

-we're treated to the entirety of "human subject", for the scene where livio briefly returns to himself. if you somehow weren't convinced that those repeated 4 notes had anything to do with the eye of michael, this is the last instance where it's heard: the moment livio's overcome by whatever brainwashing was used on him by the EoM

-I think most people associate "time left" with ep12 but it's first played in this episode and I believe that it was primarily composed with the ion cannon sequence in mind (though a majority of the tracks in the OST only play once for specific scenes, with some songs being cut short and getting different parts played across 2+ episodes. "irritation" and "human subject" are examples of this)

EP8: -this one's a little hard to hear because the 1st note is implied in the C drone but vash's leitmotif starts at around 0:09 in "complicity" and runs all the way to 1:06

-it's also in "home" (1:38-1:57), playing at the moment luida hands vash the red coat :)

EP9: -I've talked about this before but I really like that there's 4(?) measures of polyrhythm (2 or more differing rhythmic lines that are played within the same time signature) when vash joins in, before the brothers come together on the same even rhythm. you can see how vash's quarter-note pattern doesn't line up with nai's quarter-note triplets, and in fact, neither of them ever land or start together:

(for the sake of comprehension I wrote it out with a faster tempo to stretch the polyrhythm part over 8 bars instead of the slow tempo/4 bars. I'm not sure what the official tempo is. I think a sane person would write it at a faster tempo so that the part doesn't look stupidly cluttered but a good musician would be able to play it regardless. anyway-)

it sounds even more stilted because vash is playing on the offbeat. polyrhythm's such a great way to represent the brothers' relationship because it seems so chaotic but both lines are still in time together, following the same beats. they're so different but in the end they're still brothers who (are trying to) understand each other. and I love that vash is playing secondo, a more harmonic/supportive part, while knives has primo, where the melody/ornaments are. it says a lot about their personalities :')

since I don't know what the original sheet music looks like I can't say if this is true but you can hear that the plant song at 1:03 is played in octaves (2 notes that're the same pitch with one higher than the other). because of the nature of a duet, and the fact that this was played by the twins when they were little, the octaves were probably split between the parts. so vash was playing the lower octave of the plant song with his right hand, and nai played the upper octave with his left hand (we don't get to see this because it cuts to nai playing the song alone at that point). also: vash favors his right hand while nai favors his left

-now for something far less interesting: "last run" is a medley combining "ethics and morality", "compatriots", and "millions knives"

EP10: -"a cruel sight" seems to be unused. it was probably intended to lead into "bio-power reactor" in the scene where meryl and roberto meet elendira in the tank (given that it ends the same way "bio-power reactor" starts), but they cut it and just played a version of "bio-power reactor" without the melody

-elendira's themes ("elendira the crimsonnail" and "which is the monster?") seem to have some lyrics that're most audible in the beginning of the tracks but they're almost impossible to make out without some kind of editing software, which I don't have lol. they're already very quiet in the background and they echo, on top of sounding like they were put through autotune

also this is entering speculation territory but it makes me wonder if elendira's theme is going to evolve with her. we've seen some concept art with her having a more teenage appearance, so I think it'd be really cool if the vocals also changed accordingly

additionally she doesn't have the EoM leitmotif anywhere but she DOES have a proper 4-note chromatic pattern that descends from D in "which is the monster?" (1:32-1:35), which is the same note that the EoM leitmotif starts on. if we consider EoM's broken chromatic passage to represent the failed experiments, then elendira, with an actual chromatic passage in her theme, is a success

-"meryl's regrets" is ALSO an arrangement of "reality" :') this is the track that plays during roberto's final moment, which was. you know. the consequence of meryl running off in pursuit of the truth. the "reality" roberto had warned her about several times prior to episode 10. interestingly, while "nicholas the punisher" expands on the original track, "meryl's regrets" is a reduction--it's mostly just the baseline with some notes here and there. she doesn't have a theme yet, but 1:23-1:33 might be something we hear again if/when she gets a track associated with her

EP11: -"nicholas and meryl" is an arrangement of "boy and vash", with erhu echoing vash's leitmotif. I think it's a neat way to show through music that both of them are here because of vash :]

-the tracklist goes slightly out of order at this point for some reason. after "memory retrieval", "memory of geranium" is what plays in the final memory, when nai decapitates rem

EP12: -"memory of rem" is a combination of "childhood memories" and "memory of geranium". "childhood memories" is also found in "knives's piano", which is based on "duet". one fun way of interpreting this is that the "childhood memories" part of the duet is actually from rem, if she was the one who taught the twins how to play piano, which would make "duet" a musical representation of vash and nai's roots (pun intended. sorry). this also suggests nai misses rem, with how often he plays the piano, even if he thinks he hates her.

but "childhood memories" can also simply be seen as a theme that's associated with rem, nai, and vash's brief time together x)

-okay this is the part where I get to rant about "drain arm" because THIS SONG was literally the reason I decided I needed to rewatch stampede. I was listening to "drain arm" a couple weeks after the finale aired and I heard vash's leitmotif near the end and I was like "NO WAY!!!! HOW DID I MISS THAT"

as it turns out, it was cut from episode 12.

:)

not to worry though, I still have plenty to say about it. even if I'm a little disappointed. just. a little.

-> from 1:13-1:25, you can hear vash's leitmotif in the cello. this DID make it into the scene, and it plays when vash rises through the clouds

-> 2:44-3:10 is where some of the lyrics from vocal version of "millions knives" play: "remember how / we used to be / no turning back / sky's (skies??) falling down". although you can't actually hear the "remember how" in "drain arm" (at least not without blasting the song into your ears, which I don't recommend), it starts right when the image of vash and nai sitting in the geodome appears

-> we finally get the plant song at 3:36, when the condensed energy starts to leak out/charge. and then after it fires, but before nai dives into the beam, we hear "I still care for you" (3:44-3:52). and while it's originally from the vocal version of "millions knives", in the context of the scene I think it's a sentiment from both brothers: vash, who pleads for nai to let go and releases the energy away from him; and then knives, desperately reaching for the cube because he believes the success of his plan will ensure his family's (and especially his brother's) safety, the only ones he's ever cared about

in other words: plant song in cello = vash -> "I still care for you" -> continuation of plant song in low brass = knives. they're connected by this single sentence

-> knives's leitmotif (I didn't talk about it because it's only found in songs that signal his appearance, so it's really obvious, but yes he's got one of those) plays at 4:03 for the "nai is dead. you killed him" exchange

-> it goes back to a variation of the plant song at 4:29 (I LOVE the piano at 4:40-4:49 btw. it's so good. I could cry about it. probably)

if you've read my plant song analysis you might be wondering how to tell when it's being associated with the name millions knives instead of the plant race. since we know that a good chunk of the songs in the OST were written like a film score, the visual context (and/or the song titles themselves) can clue you in. "drain arm"'s use of the plant song is meant to highlight that vash and nai aren't human, so it's the latter

-> now here's the part that was removed, probably due to the runtime: vash's leitmotif in the cello again, from 5:03-5:09. if you revisit the part right before nai lets go of the cube, you'll hear that it skips these 6 seconds and goes straight to knives's theme ("but that's the plant song!" yes. we'll get to that in a sec). this missing bit right here?? fucks me up EVERY time. it's the most mournful his leitmotif has ever sounded, appropriately so, and it's absolutely criminal that it wasn't included. especially because knives's theme, the plant song melody, follows it up on violin as the cello continues to play a line in harmony.

and it's knives's theme because in this moment it's about him dying, not the plants. they spent a whole season tricking us into thinking that the plant song was knives's theme, and then they used it to send him off.

-> and then july city explodes o7

as much as I'd love to hear "drain arm" again for another chance to let the weight of vash's motif come through, I think it's too intertwined with this scene to be recycled. like. maaaaaaaybe they could use it for fifth moon if that's supposed to be the climax of the next part but they kinda?? already did the "fire a really big laser at the sky" thing? anyway yeah I'm totally normal about "drain arm". so normal

Extras: -the punisher and the double fangs have these cool sound effects when they transform and it kinda makes me think that their guns are built from lost tech, if the punisher's laser cannon wasn't evidence enough of this

-there's no equivalent of "sound life" in stampede, and I don't think there's going to be one. however, I do think that it would make a lot of sense if rem taught the boys how to play piano, because we could get something like:

-> rem asks vash about the plant song (the memory in ep12) -> she gives the boys piano lessons -> she helps them compose "duet"

-they didn't use "stampede out" for this season but I really hope we'll hear it in the next part. I know it's just a longer version of "escape" but it's a fun song :]

-this is. obvious but you can hear "gate" in "millions knives". no idea if they'll put "gate" into more songs, especially for vash now that he seems to have some control over it

-there's also something kinda fun with key signatures too: -> "millions knives" is in b minor -> vash's leitmotif is in d dorian (of course this changes depending on the key signature of whatever track it's used in) -> "undertaker" is also in d dorian -> I think songs associated with no man's land/humanity are usually in some dorian scale or specifically the key of a minor but this is solely based on jeneora rock since july city had its own unique theme so I'm not totally sure yet. "duet" is in a minor by the way -> "nicholas the punisher" is in d minor. if "undertaker" is tied to humanity (which is tied to vash) then "nicholas the punisher" is linked to the other side: knives, through the EoM. it adds another interesting layer to the contrast between wolfwood's two themes, but I don't consider this to hold any meaning lol -> I WILL say that b minor is the relative minor of D Major, so having knives and vash's songs be written in those keys was likely deliberate. and what makes it really interesting is that to get d dorian, you take a D Major scale and lower the 3rd and 7th notes by a half step

-I'm not 100% sure but I think plucked piano strings were used to create the low, scratchy string sound effect in some of the songs (one example is literally at the beginning of "irritation"). I think it's really cool that piano is everywhere in the soundtrack, but not necessarily by hitting the keys

-I am unbelievably excited for livio's/razlo's themes because they have the opportunity to do some REALLY COOL things with the music for them. we might not get them in part 2 (though I think we will) but whenever it happens I'll be so ready for it >:)

and that's all!! o(-< thank you for reading! if you actually took the time to go through all of this with the soundtrack pulled up, I'm. impressed. i think. anyway I'm a big fan of OSTs with strong storytelling and tristamp's OST is no exception :]

if you've got questions, feel free to ask ^^ I definitely didn't cover everything I just picked out whatever I thought was worth mentioning. which was uhhhh quite a bit x)

(also again if you're interested in reading the plant song analysis I did it's in the replies section of the notes 👍 I recommend reading it on a computer though)