#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do
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the-aviary-system · 1 year ago
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Mood. We've had to stop playing games like this because we'd get unhealthily addicted to "number go up"
Like we'd get a withdrawal like effect, we'd get anxious about missing out on potential number going up if we didn't have whatever idle game we were obsessing over running in the background of our computer 24/7. Doing schoolwork? Keep it in the background and tab in like every 5 minutes to check in on it and buy upgrades. Planning D&D? Same thing.
Other games that use the "number go up" formula often got greedy with their players and kept trying to exploit their addiction to make them spend money, they made it more and more grindy until it was impossible for free-to-play people like us to keep up. (We didn't have a job, so no consistent money, so that's a reason why we were FTP. I dunno if we would've fallen into the trap of spending tons of money on games like these if we had a consistent income)
After getting disillusioned with our latest "number go up" simulator, I decided to try cookie clicker because I heard it wasn't pay to win. Yeah, I used an autoclicker too. And CC was pretty neat and all, it wasn't exploitative, which I appreciate- it was a grindy game in its purest state, grinding for the sake of grinding, gaining numbers for the hell of it, instead of trying to make money off of players- but since it wasn't actively trying to exploit us with FOMO it let us stop and think, and we realized we don't even enjoy these kinds of games that have taken up hours and hours of our lives.
So we made a rule for ourselves. No more of these games. From now on, we only play games if we're actually enjoying them, not just playing it out of obligation to make the number go higher. And it was really hard to stop playing since we got that same kind of withdrawal effect, the little itch in the back of the head that "I could be more productive right now, if I just had one of those games open in the background while I write I would be more productive" but we had to just fight that.
Anyway, that's not to say nobody should play these games. I'm not writing this to shame anyone for playing them, I'm not trying to sound preachy and hope that it doesn't come off that way- this comic just reminded me of our experience with these types of games and I felt like talking about it since we were addicted to these kinds of games for a good while. Some people will definitely be able to handle the addicting nature of these games better than we can. Some people genuinely enjoy the grind because it lets them just turn off their brain for a little while or not have to focus too much on something. Just be mindful to not let it become an addiction, is all.
So yeah that's the story of how we had an addiction to really grindy idle games
-Emyr (he/it)
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#video game addiction#game addiction#emyr post#we used to play idle champions of the forgotten realms an unhealthy amount since we really like D&D#to be fair that game taught us about a lot of important D&D figures we otherwise wouldn't recognize so we're grateful for that#Like Jarlaxle. we wouldn't have known who the hell he was while prepping our out of the abyss campaign without that game having him#and that game gave us an idea for his personality which will be really useful for playing him as an npc#and it also made him grow on us#idk how accurate the game's personality was of him but still we started out indifferent and ended up liking him#as much as we'd like to our adhd prevents us from reading the books with the big famous characters like him and drizzt and bruenor#so we would've had very little exposure to characters like these otherwise#maybe we should listen to audiobooks more. but i digress#they ended up introducing a battle pass thingy and we dipped#because the entire point of season pass battle pass whatever they're called is to exploit FOMO to get you to pay money and we have no money#So we got disillusioned and moved onto the next game#We also played creatures of sonaria on roblox for a very long time#it's not really an idle game in the traditional sense it's supposed to be a creature survival game#honestly the creature designs are awesome and the flight mechanics in that game really feels satisfying to use#like there's flapping and gliding and soaring and wind currents and you have to manage your stamina and aiming downwards makes you faster#really pleasing for me since i'm otherkin#most games just make flight like creative mode minecraft and it's boring#unfortunately it has a gacha system for getting new creatures and the only reliable way to get currency is to afk and check in now and then#so you don't get kicked for afk or die of hunger or thirst#the intention is that you get currency for playing the game more but there's nothing to do as long as you keep your creature fed and watere#the missions system helped this problem a little bit but not a huge amount in our experience#so that's why it becomes afk hell unless you want to hunt other players for sport but killing for fun is generally frowned on by many#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do#so if you kill them it's really inconvenient for their grind but it's also the only form of entertainment unless a seasonal event is on#and if the seasonal event is on then you feel rushed to grind for event currency to get the cool new creatures#oh today i learned there's a maximum tag cap oops
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diovstheworld · 2 years ago
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La Squadra and What Kind of Genshin Impact Player They Are
i don’t know why i made this or put so much effort into this or why i even thought about this omg anyway this is the result of my shower thoughts and severe genshin impact brain rot lmao
୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑
Formaggio:
introduced them all to the game
doesn’t really have a set main that he uses but he does use zhongli in most of his team compositions
has good character builds and normally does like 100-200k with his dps character
carries the team when they co-op together
actually understands artifacts and what stats are good and what each character needs
is probably the only one that actually knows what’s going on
also always wins his 50/50s (and it pisses illuso and ghiaccio off so bad)
desperate to lose his 50/50 to qiqi someday so he can finally have all the characters
has definitely spent some money on this game for sure and probably has c6’d most of the characters lmao
Illuso:
only plays if formaggio co-ops with him (so formaggio can do everything for him)
probably mains ningguang or something. or maybe keqing or mona because he refuses to admit he’s angry he lost the 50/50 (he was pulling for raiden shogun) and calls her his favourite character
has pretty decent builds because formaggio helps him figure out what artifacts are good and bad and helps teach him what all the stats mean
even though illuso probably claims he knows what they all mean despite not having any understanding on crit rate and crit damage until formaggio explained it
lazy player in co-op. probably afk most of the time unless he’s physically beside another member playing the game with him and has no choice but to sit there and do something
still probably does nothing though. especially in boss fights and makes sure he’s locked out of a domain when he’s in someone else’s world
Ghiaccio:
cryo only team for sure
probably a ganyu or ayaka main
joins random people on co-op just to make fun of their character builds
even though his builds are probably worse
likes to think his builds are the best out of the whole team but they’re probably one of the worst
probably rage quits the spiral abyss whenever he loses a star
honestly is probably a menace to play with and none of the team want to co-op with him because he knows his anger will get the better of him when his character doesn’t crit
loses his 50/50s. always.
spent too much money on this game to count at this point (he just wanted to c6 his cryo characters! give him a break!)
he seems like the type of guy to use primogems to refresh his resin lmao (i would never omg that would hurt my soul)
Pesci:
is actually pretty good at the game!
at the start, everyone cheered him on when he hit 1k (and it probably annoyed ghiaccio so bad. why does pesci get the praise for hitting 1k when he’s just hit 50k!)
when he finally learned about artifacts, he got much better at the game
but he just plays for fun and doesn’t really care about his damage. as long as his characters are strong enough to clear the game content!
struggles with getting 36 stars on the abyss but he doesn’t mind
is really good with saving his primogems for characters he wants and hasn’t spent much money on the game at all
average luck on banners. normally gets jean when he does lose his 50/50 and has become a jean main
Prosciutto:
probably didn’t play at first but soon got bullied into it by the rest of the gang (and secretly he wanted to know what all the fuss was about)
he started by watching pesci and eventually downloaded it on his ipad
probably couldn’t get into the game at first but then somehow became good at it without even trying
ghiaccio hates this, especially since prosciutto doesn’t use artifact sets properly or even put them on characters that they’re useful for
i feel like he would be a zhongli main (old men in suits stick together)
doesn’t have specific roles for each character for his team. doesn’t even understand what that means. everyone does big damage or they’re off the team
doesn’t spend money on the game because he doesn’t care enough about it to spend on it but has definitely spent money on it here or there for pesci when he’s been sad he’s lost a 50/50
Risotto:
diluc main for sure. fishcl is also probably on his team
doesn’t understand builds and struggles to know what each character scales off of
googles for best builds etc (he doesn’t want to ask formaggio in case he laughs at him
average character builds, good enough to do all 12 floors of the spiral abyss (but not 36 star it)
i feel like he wouldn’t play the game that much so his resin would probably be wasted most of the time (which i feel like ghiaccio would hate lmao)
i feel like he wouldn’t really spend money on the game unless there was some character he really really REALLY liked and wanted
also probably gets really happy when he loses his 50/50 to diluc since he’s a diluc main
Melone:
i think he would definitely have an all female character team for sure lmao
maybe a yae miko main? or maybe a raiden shogun main
very good builds even though they may not be the most popular builds and he definitely gets some big numbers with those builds (his highest was 100k)
focuses on one character at a time
also knows what characters he wants and saves up for them. sometimes he’s lucky even to get some constellations for them (i feel like he would have c2 raiden shogun or something by accident)
spends a little money on the game but mainly on the welkin moon pack to help him save up more primogems for his favourite characters!
absolutely can 36 star the spiral abyss if he puts his mind to it. i feel like he would have some good tactics in completing the spiral abyss and doesn’t just button mash unlike ghiaccio
Sorbet and Gelato:
i feel like they either have a joint account or if they don’t, they only ever play together in co-op and don’t really play alone
i also feel like they would be fairly good at the game. or if they had a joint account, one would be really good and the other just makes the best of what’s on the account
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ilvatu · 7 years ago
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Blizzard is dead.
Hopefully this will be my first and last Blizzard post. At least until they release and/or publish another dumpster fire of a game, gift wrapped and adored by their fanboys. 
Blizzard is the undisputed king of MMOs. Or at least their Daddy. Not grandfather, Daddy. The aged, drunk, smoked 2 packs a day step father that beats their children daddy of a company. A company that is the smoking shadow of its former self. 
Blizzard hasn’t made a good game since Starcraft 2. There. I said it.  And even then it only really enjoyed as much success as it did because it was Starcraft and published by Blizzard. I really only enjoyed it because I was trying to relive the days of yore. Maybe it wasn’t good either. 
Blizzard has survived because of their brand alone. Their fans believe the publisher is incapable of releasing a bad game. The problem is that Blizzard is still able to sell them bad games because it seems to me like their fans haven’t played much else. They are still clinging to titles like Final Fantasy 14, which is just a WoW clone. While they wait for the next big Blizzard MMO or WoW expansion to come out. They keep playing dead genres and IPs because it’s what is familiar. What they fell in love with but are too stuck up to divorce. 
What about Diablo 3? I hated it. Maybe it’s because I never played Diablo 2. But this game has very little content, like. I played through the story. Then I played through it again. Upgraded some gear here and there. Kill some monsters. Play through the story again. Keep grinding. It just seems like a grindfest loot festival of a shitshow. I don’t get it and I probably never will. If you enjoy this game I hope you never complain about any game being either too grindy or not having enough content. I hated D3 and I will never understand the people who don’t. 
Overwatch? It’s TF2 if it were published in 2016 using assets from the failed creation of a new IP “Titan.” The gameplay was stripped straight away from TF2 and in traditional Blizzard fashion the game has no semblance of balance. Anything that seems too fun gets the axe. I put an embarrassing number of hours into Overwatch, mostly because my friends were playing it, and at this point I don’t see a reason to put any more. It’s stale, boring, and barely still under post-release development.  
Blizzard decided that they would also include lootboxes, another idea they stole from Valve. This time, a big middle finger to their fans. While the rewards are purely cosmetic, it doesn’t stop the fanboys from spending hundreds of dollars on events. Reinforcing the idea that giving your fans a way to give you money is good. Loot boxes are a cheap cash grab from a company that already wipes it’s ass with $100 bills. 
$100 bills earned from WoW. WoW was a good game for 2004. It is not a good game for 2017. We expect more than a level cap increase, a few zones we’ll never visit again after we finish leveling, and a grind fest of a dungeon queue and a raid dungeon. The last three expansions have been so lackluster that the only reason it makes sense to me that Blizzard is still supporting the game at this point is because it just makes economic sense to do so. WoW may have been a great game in it’s past, but for 2017 it isn’t graphically good enough, nor is the gameplay they’ve padded around their dungeons and boss fights enough to keep an adult interested. 
Maybe after playing Eve for several years after WoW I was disillusioned. An MMO with a design philosophy so inherently different from WoW I am surprised people consider them the same genre. I am not saying Eve is good and WoW is not, especially in 2017. But Eve was such a different design that to me that I can’t really go back to another WoW-esque MMO. I can’t really go back to Eve either, but I now expect something else from my games. Maybe it’s why I am so obsessed with the development of Star Citizen. I digress. 
Heroes of the Storm was DOA as far as I’m concerned. It was a MOBA aimed at a casual audience after MOBAs were going out of style. And the games still take 20-30 minutes to complete. Mechanically the game was interesting on it’s own, but it was just a game you played a few times, shrugged, and moved on with. They keep forcing promotions with their other games to keep people coming back, and even had to give away 50 heroes just for logging in just to keep their shit MOBA with enough players. Too little, too late here Blizzard. 
Hearthstone? It’s just watered down Magic: The Gathering. Was it for people who don’t understand the concept of the stack? Maybe I didn’t play it long enough to “get it” like with Diablo. I didn’t feel like there was too much strategy to it. I can’t declare blockers. I can’t play spells on my opponent’s turn. Half the people you play are AFK or just taking the full amount of time to piss you off. “Well Played” Blizzard. I can’t say enough bad things about Hearthstone. 
Blizzard keeps trying to shove the competitive gaming down our throats for all their games. I don’t give a shit about what “professional” Overwatch team comps are. No, I don’t care what the top guild in WoW does in this fight. No, I don’t care about the new season of Diablo 3. No, I don’t want to watch Korean Starcraft. Are there competitive HOTS players? Probably, I wouldn’t doubt it. I am of the opinion not every game needs a competitive or professional scene. Blizzard creates casual games and then tries to develop a competitive scene around it. It’s the most backwards of logic.Or creates their patented bronze -> silver -> gold -> platinum -> diamond -> master rankings, and then wonders why their game has such a toxic atmosphere to new or casual players. 
I won’t talk about MMR here, this blog is too fresh at this point to get that dirty. 
In the past few years Blizzard has pulled every cheap trick to retain players and strip them of their cash. Lootboxes, Seasons in D3. HOTS gave away 50 free heroes for logging in their dead, shit MOBA. Gametime for gold in WoW. Then you can use the WoW gold money to buy the other games of theirs you don’t give a shit about. 
I half expect to find a Blizzard game at the arcade. Begging me to put a quarter in every time I die in Overwatch. Giving us minerals in Starcraft in exchange for dollars. To find Jeff Kaplan at the local strip joint busting open lootboxes for singles. Showering his fans in glitter and cheap skins. At this point their games feel and look so cheap, and have had every marketing gimmick pulled.Every time someone plays it’s like they keep trying to capitalize on that hype by offering to let you buy cosmetics.  I can’t help but think that they are just searching for a way to nickel and dime us but can’t figure out how do do that in a free-to-play model that includes a grindfest, gear progression, and premium skins. The Blizzard wet-dream. 
Overwatch, at least, demonstrates that there still may be some hope for Blizzard in the future. It was their first FPS and a new IP. I think this shows that they may  try to create something new and different in the future. Or at least that they might have the courage to. I hope it shows more promise and originality than Overwatch did. But then again Overwatch was a failed game called “Titan.” I have no idea what they thought it would be, but I would guess that it was extremely bad, even by Blizzard’s standards, so they decided to take their assets, cut their losses and create Overwatch.  
Was Overwatch a success? Yes. Was it good? I don’t think so. It expanded on TF2′s class based system slightly, but also incorporated nothing new about TF2′s gameplay. I mean, half the characters were cheap ripoffs of TF2 classes. It isn’t hard to see a similarity between Demo and Junkrat. Sniper and Widow. Mercy and the Medic. Pyro and ... you get the idea. Throw in some originals as well and there’s enough that it isn’t a total clone. The ultimates varied wildly from gamebreaking to minor annoyance. And don’t give me that “situationally good” argument, but that’s a topic for an entire separate post. 
Furthermore, Overwatch has had very little implemented into it since launch. Seriously, 3 new playable characters since launch? A map or two? Nobody really gave a shit about your co-op events, Mei’s snowball adventure, or Capture the Flag. They still haven’t admitted that CTF is a valid game mode. I guess they just can’t figure out how to balance the game around it because they would have to actually fix some of their horseshit characters or disable half of them just to make it fun. 
And with the release of Starcraft Remastered we have completely regressed any of the progress made with Overwatch. I mean, you re-skinned your most popular game ever released. Did you get tired of seeing decades old assets on GOM TV? Did you think it would get people to use the Blizzard launcher or try HOTS? I don’t know why they did this, honestly. Unless there is a UMS that is literally sex I won’t even bother. It’s Starcraft. The same shit you played when you were home from school sick in the 2000′s. 
And I guess this brings us to Destiny. Why am I talking about Destiny? Because Blizzard is the publisher. Does that mean it’s a Blizzard game? Kinda. It is going to be on b.net. I never played the first Destiny, and I won’t play this one either. It does give us a clue where Blizzard is on the spectrum though. Destiny may be a proof-of-concept to other outside developers that want to publish their game, don’t have the infrastructure to do so and don’t want to deal with Valve (Steam), EA (Origin) or GoG. It could also be that Activision is evaluating their options with Blizzard’s brand. A sign that while they aren’t desperate yet, their cash cow (WoW) is dying of old age and they are looking for other sources of income to continue development. Hopefully that development isn’t into dead IP’s and games that cling to cultural relevance in an era that has moved beyond Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo. 
Why do I say Blizzard is dead? Because they can’t create something that isn’t in one of their dead old IPs. Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo are living history. They shouldn’t be getting used as much as they are. WoW is a living relic of the past. Go ahead, log in. All your old shit is still there. It’s like an old photo album of shame, except the last few pages are blank, and you can still fill them in ... for a price. 
I think choosing to publish Destiny is a glimpse into Blizzard’s future. Perhaps they will continue to develop some games under their dead IP’s and choose to publish premium games from other developers. I think the future of Blizzard is in publishing, and I see them to be more like Valve in the future, but expecting a higher quality from developers.  
In any case, I won’t be buying or playing anything Blizzard develops or publishes for quite some time. I think that they are in a rut as a company and they haven’t created anything that appeals to me for a long time. I think my best memories of Blizzard are in the past. 
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ruzhansky · 7 years ago
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i pray this will never end, i have my heart open wide
This report is not going to cover my teams, spreads and so on, as it was in 2015. I even don’t know if I should call it a ‘report’, I just want to slop down some thoughts about 2017. Have a nice read.
Why did I return to vgc? I DONT KNOW. As you might remember, I was a tryharder in 2015, but Nats loss and Autumn Series event loss completely broke me. 2016 season wasn’t a thing I’d like to try out (especially with the 2015 wounds) and I got some serious mental health problems in 2016. New pokemon game was a thing that could possibly make my days a bit brighter, and yea, I liked the game, the tapus, the ultra beasts and I became curious about the new format. The first russian tournament was announced to be held in late December, but I was busy with exams prep and haven’t even completed the main story. Though the tournament was tempting. I tested my first ideas on PS which included Instruct spam xd, but Nihilego with proper support showed a real potential at our early days of metagame. I could make it to the tournament (MSS Q1, wow Russia got midseasons...) and somehow won it. It’s like WHATTT how could i... but still. This thing lit something inside me and I decided to give that season a chance.
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this is a very bad and old drawing of my mss q1 team xd sorry
January brought the first meta shift, and I started struggling with the team I had. I accidentally joined a random coversation on twitter and then I texted PephanVGC something like hey, did you remember we wanted to talk about teams. And he was very nice to me right from the start, he helped me out with the team and then we started to chat about everything. About friends, life, our past, loneliness and other troubles, and I thought I’ve found a real soulmate. We started to chat every day, but some days ago we were complete strangers to each other. This is so great.
Pephan shared a team with me I instantly fell in love with. It was Winter, so yeah Hail was cool to use, and that was the warmest winter I have :3 though Arcanines already were everywhere, and I removed Life Orb from his Koko to make it Electrium Z Koko AND IT BECAME MY MASCOT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON (i thought so before specs has come to mind...)  Also I played the same team with Pephan at Melbourne Challenge, and I got paired with him on r2... I lost in a close set and got broken so much, but he still helped me a lot with that and taught me how to treat losses less painfully. I love Pephan.
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February IC poster with @Elveman yeah we had fun once
Then I built an AFK team too but with fucked item choices (firium arcanine just why), but I also had Scarf Porygon-Z and it was amazing to use. 
I brought Hail team to St Peter (yeah I travelled to St Petersburg) and Moscow PCs, got 1st and 2nd, AFK PZ team - to MSS Q2 AND I WON AGAIN. I was wondering why my enemies rivals didn’t visit our events, but ok, it was not my problem. Especially when our 2016 nats champion became my main enemy.
This was my season flow. I traveled, I played, I was studying at university and it was my graduation year, I had a job and tried to combine it with studying and pokemon, sometimes it affected my results. I was invited to represent Pokemon at Hinode 2017, the huge annual Japanese event in Moscow, with my main rival, famous russian pokemon community moderator and some TCG guys. It was definitely a nice experience. I got money from that just because I told people how amazing pokemon is, I teached them how to battle and showed that there’s much more than Pokemon Go. Yes, I don’t like Go. All pokemon players don’t like Go here.
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b-but they’re so young!!! pic from Hinode.
Well, I thought season should have something else besides MSS and PCs, and hell yes, 8 Russian Special Events at 8 different cities were announced in May. Moar travelling! We(my rival, me and our tcg frens) decided to go to St Peter (again), Perm, Astrakhan and Ufa. Someone decided to go to all 8 SE because he wanted to.
The big-big drama started at our community but I don’t wanna share it here.
I graduated, traveled and played, and since my rival missed 2 Specials due to his own graduation and some other issues, my invite made a bit more real. Wait. THE DREAM OF MAKING WORLDS BECAME REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I still needed to put a lot ot work into it. Top 1 vgc gets paid invite, I was 1st, but tcg guy with a good amount of vgc points was second (because he always played vgc after tcg at special events). I thought he will play TCG after all and he won’t interfere with my road to worlds, but I found out that he is going to the city we’re all decided not to go, to grind some tcg AND vgc points. I got angry as a rival and made an impulsive decision to go to Irkutsk Special before Moscow Special. And I went. And got some important points. And pretty locked up my invite. But I said to myself that I shouldn’t sсream it out loud and dance in the shower before the official ceremony in the end of the season. I still had Moscow event.
Huh. Our system this year allowed travelling, and 8 Special Events were held in June and July. Because I had the will and money to travel, because I got a job and combined it with studying at university and somehow haven’t lost it, I visited 6 Special Events. People started to shittalk me. I am wallet warrior, I am noob, I am not worlds caliber, I bought an invite and so on. I even partly agree. At that point winning russian events isn’t close to winning or doing well at EU/US events. Not every SE at regions gave us a strong competition. I am deadly far from WolfeyNails/Markus/etc level. But even with that, should I leave my spot and act like a fucking noble idiot? ‘Oh I am bad and not worlds caliber, guess I should give up now’. Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I have a game I love, a desire to travel, a job and money for that, so why not. If you don’t play and try, you can never ‘get good’. Sitting on a sofa and thinking ‘oh I will never be good enough so I better don’t play’ is a shitty mindset as well. And then twitter drama about ‘free worlds not being elitist’ happened, I’ve become so sick of that.  
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Moscow Special. The long-awaited end of the season. Really long-awaited because I felt like every day had 48 hours. I didn’t have special plans for Moscow. I didn’t want win it out as hell, I just wanted everything to end. And it ended. 
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the event
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party after d1
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i remember how to draw
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the main scene
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turn your main enemies to judges lol
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#lifegoals
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<3
Despite tons of personal shit happened to me this season, apparently I found myself a better person. i don’t know if this is growing up, I am already 21 and difference between 19 and 21 doesn’t seem too big, though my mind and attitude to some things have noticeably changed.
Got rid of fake elitism, as it was in my early days of competitive and my -most famous year- (2015). I can’t even imagine now but then I thought that competitive is the BEST part we can have about pokemon, and everyone else who likes casual playing or anime are absolute losers and can never be as cool as us. Your dream is completing dex? Breeding a shiny? You love some anime characters and wanna watch fuckin dummies’ anime forever? Uh, dream of becoming a xXxWORLDCHAMPIONxXx just disparages your shitty life goals. I laughed at people i don’t know in person and who didn’t do anything bad to me.
I don’t know what changed my mind in particular. It’s like I just woke up with thoughts “why should I do this”. I saw that people who are not only about competitive can have and reach their own pokemon dreams, they’re valuable too. They can travel not only for competitive. For love to the franchise all of us are fond of. I am sorry for being an asshole :)
Got some skills of loving myself. Yup, y’all might know it was a big problem. Tl,dr: I haven’t a reason to. My only ray of light was being successful enough in vgc and when I wasn’t it became a catastrophe. Bad runs at IC, losses at regionals stages, bad BS sessions? Oh god, i am so shitty, i hate myself - and it was the softest thing I said. It was a mix of hatred and sadness and absolutely wasn’t a great thing to feel.  It cost me a real depression in 2016 - though I didn’t even play that season, it hit me hard. I let it happen, I let myself think and treat the game that way. Now it is slightly better, and it also feels so new. It’s like WOAH you actually may not hate yourself for a loss? In 2015 I had my Nats spot already reserved, but every mediocre regionals stage run made me feel terrible. This season I was fighting for the Worlds (Worlds > Rus Nats) right from the start with no ‘safe options’, I was losing too, but I could cope with that. Though losing is always sad. The difference is in being frustrated and hating yourself for days or week and being frustrated and hating yourself for an evening, and then you’re saying something like enough, it won’t make me better, learning and practice will make me better, so let’s play tomorrow. Pephan helped me out a lot with this. Tons of love to Pephan.
Well, also I reached a dream. When I was 17, I watched 2013 Worlds with excitement, though I understood nothing because I was an OU child. New format? Big event? That was very unfamiliar but holy crap so breathtaking! Two guys were fighting for the honourable title with some beautiful teams and strategies, I felt their drive even when I was so far away. That blew my mind. I told myself that I want to visit Pokemon World Championships too. The long way of getting better started in 2013 and will never end. I won Russian VGC 2014 big event and got closer to my dream. I qualified to Russian National Championships in 2015 and almost made my dream real, finishing 2nd. I got broken and gave up because sometimes it was too hard to keep up. I remembered how I sang lyrics from “Wavin Flag”: ‘when I get older, I will be stronger’. The dream wasn’t dead.  And I tried again. And I did it. The most trivial thing I can say now is do not give up and fight for your dreams, but this is really true!
Every Trainer has a choice To listen to that voice inside. I know the battle may be long, Winners may have come and gone I will carry on! Yeah, this dream will last forever, And this dream will never die, We will rise to meet the challenge every time. (Advanced Challenge) Yeah, this dream keeps us together, This shows that you and I Will be the best that the world's ever seen, Cause we always will follow this dream!
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Nothing can be perfect in one second. I still have issues with rivalry and with the community, though I wonder how we will do in 2018.
Thanks for reading and, finally I can say it, see you at Worlds!
Shout-outs to: PurpurVGC, Loui, PephanVGC, Elveman, Sergey, Annet Ilvers, unhealthy rivalry and Havkai for making this season amazing.
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