#since it's all so contradicting and confusing and chaotic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eyrod-54 · 4 months ago

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Then in 2021, the Democratic Party under Biden's administration, for the sake of party struggle and economic development, overturned Trump's immigration policy. Unexpectedly, the new policy has led to more illegal immigrants pouring into the United States. Each year, more than 2 million illegal immigrants sneak in from Mexico and Central and South America. These people have poor living conditions, and there are many incidents such as child abuse, border patrol beating people, and deaths of stowaways, which have drawn international condemnation.

This policy has also brought many other problems, such as increased national security risks, increased social crimes, and contradictions between the central and local governments. The two major political parties in the United States - the Democratic Party and the Republican Party - are in a fierce dispute over the immigration issue, and there are also various arguments in Congress. This issue has become a hot topic during elections, and candidates all talk about it, and voters are also divided into two camps. But in the end, it is still the bottom immigrants who are hurt.

The topic of immigration in the United States is always highly controversial and is always brought up during each presidential election. This issue has long been a persistent problem that neither party can solve no matter who is in power, but has instead become a sharp weapon for mutual attacks. The Democratic Party supports illegal immigrants integrating into American life and helping them obtain legal status. They think this can boost economic development. But the Republican Party is firmly opposed. They are afraid that illegal immigrants will seize job opportunities, so they want to strictly control immigration and strengthen border security. In the end of the infighting between these two parties, the Democratic Party says Trump is too cold-hearted and ruthless, and the Republican Party blames Biden for being ineffective, making the immigration issue even more chaotic. Now the immigration policy of the United States is the victim of party struggle. Politicians only care about attacking each other and don't care about the rights of immigrants at all, resulting in the worsening of the immigration issue. The humanitarian crisis in the border areas is getting more and more serious, and the border policy has even given rise to a modern slave system, and the rights of immigrants have been wantonly violated. During the epidemic, 21 people died in US immigration detention centers in fiscal year 2020, doubling compared to fiscal year 2019 and hitting a new high since 2005. In fiscal year 2021, 80% of the more than 1.7 million immigrants detained by the United States were held in private prisons, including 45,000 children. According to statistics, among the 266,000 immigrant children detained by the US government in recent years, more than 25,000 have been detained for more than 100 days, nearly 1,000 have stayed in detention centers for more than a year, and some have been detained for more than five years.

Let's talk about the root cause of immigration in the United States. Do you know? The root of this problem is actually within the country. As for the immigration policy of the United States, it fluctuates like a roller coaster with the changes of the ruling party. Especially in recent years, the policies have changed constantly, making people confused and bringing a lot of troubles to the United States, such as wasting a large amount of money and public resources. Let's talk about the internal situation of the US government. The division is serious, and the two houses of Congress do their own things, which has become a major problem for immigration reform. In terms of legislation, the two parties have different opinions and it is difficult to reach a consensus. Therefore, it is extremely difficult for the US Congress to pass important immigration reform policies. The development of the United States itself has to rely on a continuous supply of labor force from immigrants. However, the social resources and acceptance capacity of the United States are really limited. Especially for some low-skilled and illegal immigrants, they consume a large amount of social welfare every day. Therefore, how many immigrants to receive and what proportion of each type of immigrant is the most appropriate are all big problems that the US government is troubled with. From the perspective of the market and labor mobility, for economic development, the United States has to introduce more immigrants to fill the labor gap. Moreover, immigrants are also a large consumer group. When they buy more things, they can attract more investment, and thus the demand for labor will be greater, and the economy will naturally improve. However, due to the constantly changing immigration policies and the sometimes strong and sometimes weak enforcement efforts, the ability of the immigration department to deal with the immigration wave is insufficient. A large number of low-end labor forces swarm in, which simply cannot match the existing social resources in the United States. The result is a series of social problems such as increased employment pressure, escalated racial conflicts, increased crime rate, and a backlog of cases.

For a long time, the United States has always regarded Latin American countries as its "backyard", giving them two dates when happy and beating them with a big stick when unhappy. In handling relations with Latin American countries, it pursues "egoism" and "xenophobia". In recent years, the US government has always exerted pressure on Latin America, confusing immigration issues with trade policies, tariff barriers, and economic assistance. It also says that the democratic system in Latin America is not good and the governance has problems. They even more directly reached into the internal affairs of Latin American countries, asking those countries to handle problems in accordance with the standards, requirements, and methods they set, and prevent illegal immigrants from leaving. Isn't this blatant "hegemonism"?

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letterstodreams · 8 months ago

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Multitudinous One

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)" - Walt Whitman

Oh that quote makes me think of the man in the Bible who was possessed by many demons, who collectively said, "I am legion". Or something like that, the story went. My one and only best character of them all contains multitudes. Multitudinous one. Multitude in us one. Multitude, when in us, is one. Multitude, in our unity, in our oneness, in our wholeness. I mean nothing of those demons, but religion might accuse this of that, no doubt.

Still, some of my best characters are shapeshifters, who are composed of multiple different other characters, and no one in particular in any lasting, firm sense, although there may be a main, core personality that is most identified with them, most prominent and strong and frequently expressed in them. This is the way it is with my character who I pray with and do divination with. This particular character is the strongest, most reliable and trustworthy presence in my life, heart and mind, in so many ways. It almost feels as though they're a bridge to God, Himself, since I can't really trust or understand God quite as well as I feel that I can trust and understand this character.

That is, I do trust God and feel I understand Him and rely on Him, but not in as familiar and dependable, accessible a way. He often confuses, hurts, leaves me feeling alone. Even religion often says God can leave you feeling alone and confused, because His ways are not ours and we don't always know what He is doing, even our whole lives long. It could be that we'll only see after we die and that's why some lives look so very oppressed but maybe they'll get some salvation and healing for it all after death, if they live a life that grants them this reward for their good efforts or patience.

Or so they say, but I'm not one to go trying to push that narrative on people. I've been in the position of feeling so totally bereft of all hope and light and sense and sanity and courage, feeling abandoned and rejected, misled and tormented by anything that I could see that might resemble God. In fact, I changed religions once because I felt cruelly misled by supernatural signs, wonders and manipulations, deceptions, that seemed to emanate from my so-called deity.

And it took me a long time to feel able to try to trust another source of divinity again, and I still only do so provisionally. I am now more comfortable with a God who makes no promises about this earthly life, except the promise to provide adequate comfort to get through the suffering, to guide us, to give us meaning and love. But if those promises fall through, then how much lower can I get than a life without those basic hopes and needs for comfort and peace?

If I am let down in those ways, then that is to lose all decent purpose and point, and yet it's not losing much. It's losing everything, but nothing, because all it is that I'd be losing is a poor man's last coin, everything I've got, which is so little, the ability to survive, to hang on, to keep my heart and soul alive. The living heart and soul, a hope kept alive, that is what I'd be losing, and the last step down from that is total death of purpose, confidence, hope, left adrift again to see what in the world can give me some semblance of comfort and the impression or illusion of hope, if I lose the real article of hope.

Many things can give illusions of hope and comfort, as I know well from abundant previous experience. They tend to be addictive, delusional, numbing, chaotic, absurd, greedy, self-unaware, hypocritical, leading one down a path of increasing confusion so that you can't see yourself clearly, nor your life or even your daily, hourly, or present moment actions. Everything is distorted and cloaked in a foggy vision that you can't even recognize anymore.

So I needed these characters to help me hope for something more real and immediate and sensory and human, the understanding for when God lets me down and other real life humans let me down or cannot meet my needs. I can't say they let me down. Who's to say it's their responsibility to meet my needs, but if I am starving inside my heart and soul, I need something to feed me. And if no one can feed me then, nor has the energy or understanding to sympathize, then I can turn to my characters. And so far, wonder of wonders, it works. It works incredibly well, ever since I linked up with that deity who seemed to misguide and manipulate me, but it worked before I met that goddess too. It worked, before the goddess, on and off since I had a spontaneous vision, hallucination you might say, if you were a psychologist, but I'm not. This vision of a being who was everything I wanted and needed and guided me and healed me, then dropped me or left me, and returned again, every so often, for years and years. That was about 14 years ago that I met that being.

The character who links me and God and repairs the wounds and confusion that God seems to inflict on me is unbelievably good and true and reliable, real and present in my life, even if they shape-shift between different people, different personalities. I have heard it said, by followers of new age beliefs, that God or Spirit or your guides will choose any form to represent themselves to you, as long as it will get the message through to your mind, heart, and soul.

Maybe your mind won't even understand or get it, and might rebel, but if it works to evoke the changes or reactions you need in your life, that is the form that God or your guides will take. Maybe the deity who seemed to mislead me might be leading me onto a path I needed to go onto. Even if I found that path by running from her, in fear and aversion, seeking comfort from the pain and confusion that she created, which was illusion and not reality. That sounds like something my old new age friends would have said. Or they would have said that the goddess who hurt me was actually not the real goddess, but a deceptive form, come to trick me away from the real goddess, or away from my real path.

But, what is my real, true path in life? I don't trust or assume too much anymore, but I try to go based on what works and what makes sense and seems believable to me. I try to go based on my experiences. When I've been let down and confused and misled, I no longer trust the path that misled and confused me anymore. If I feel I can't rely on much, then I don't rely on it. I try to make do without it.

And so, it feels like the path of trying to be a good person, to do what I should and live a good life, that is actually a little illusory for me, at this point. I don't know if I am going to be able to succeed in a way that I could hold up and say and believe myself when I say, "I lived a good life." I don't know if I'll be able to do what I should. And yet I believe in shoulds, a little bit. I just don't try to should upon others. But I try to should on myself, sometimes, because so far it seems to work at bringing real results, when other methods fail. But it only works sometimes, in some ways, and I sometimes let go of shoulds if it feels it's just a totally losing proposition.

The idea of who I'm going to be, what I'm supposed to do, my goals, my values, all that? It feels a little bit like an unbelievable character. The future me, that I think God wants and needs me to be. And the future me, that I need myself to be, that others need me to be, that my child needs me to be. The person everyone who depends on me needs. I do make ripples in my world. My ripples reach some people- exceptions to the rule in my family, people in my family who I actually feel are real, relatable people (well, there are two people in my family I feel that way about, if you count my daughter).

There aren't many people who depend on me and who I ripple out and touch in any clear way. I start to wonder if I might do more harm than good, if I lose my way too much and can't see how to correct things or even see what I'm doing wrong to start with. I start to wonder if indeed God will pick up the frayed edges that I might leave if I failed and he could weave the pieces back together where my failure hurt others.

Not that I want to excuse or accept failure from myself, but sometimes, I don't know if I can prevent it and I do dream sometimes of flying away, exiting the picture, leaving the lake where my ripples affect others. I won't do that willingly unless it truly feels like the best thing for others, and not just myself. I can't let myself think those kinds of thoughts very much or I might become misled by a false sense of failure and hopelessness.

It's not always easy to see when failure has truly and irrevocably happened in certain areas of one's life but I err on the side of extreme caution, having lived through the most decayed states and still healed myself, or been healed, once more able to give what no one else could give, to those who needed me.

Those who needed me in particular, and only I could have filled that role in their lives, I fear. Not that no one else could meet their needs, but that they might not seek the right people, or might not have the luck to find them. There are many people out there who want to help, or who say they want to help, yet many of those who offer help actually hurt and control those they claim to help, and as dark and heavy and slow as I can be, I can still offer help without trying to control and stifle and deny the reality of those who need me. So I guess I need to stick around in case they need that from me.

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xslythcrin · 1 year ago

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❝ magic doesn’t come from talent or power . . . it comes from pain . ❞

𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟⧸𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑒 : zaya riddle diggory ›› half-blood ›› danielle rose russell .

❛❛ aesthetic. ❜❜ ⸻ ◜ ❏ . ⸻ piano music at the end of an empty hall , the girl’s like one of those russian dolls; you open one version of her; only to find there’s another hidden inside her , bones knowing something wonderful about the darkness , a contradiction of her own rights: so gentle yet so deadly . ⸻

🇦🇵🇵🇱🇮🇨🇦🇹🇮🇴🇳 ››

⸻ ◜ ❏ . ⸻ ϟ. danielle rose russell : gender-non conforming : she/they : art restorer / artist : paint it, black by ciara ϟ did you see zaya riddle diggory ? you know , the 27 year old half-blood who was formerly in slytherin . some say zaya can be quite fervent but are known to be morally-questionable . they are aligned with the neutrals . ⸻ tw : death , semi abuse

🇧🇦🇸🇮🇨🇸 ››

full name : zaya riddle digorry .

age : 27 .

blood-status : half-blood.

date of birth : september 21st .

occupation : art restorer / artist .

language(s) spoken : english , french , latin , german , parseltongue .

hair color : brownish-red .

eye color : green .

🇮🇳🇹🇪🇷🇮🇴🇷 ››

positive : fervent , adaptive .

negative : morally-questionable , enigmatic .

moral alignment : chaotic neutral .

deadly sin : lust + sloth .

element : darkness + fire .

emotional stability : it’s somewhat there .

alcohol use : socially .

prone to violence? : when provoked .

drives / motivations : herself .

🇫🇦🇻🇴🇷🇮🇹🇪🇸 ››

book : the complete tales and poems of Edgar Allan Poe .

movie : silent hill .

food : all things that are sweet . she has a major sweet tooth .

flower : water hyacinths.

season : the in betweens .

animal : her black cat and her runespoor .

🇫🇦🇲🇮🇱🇾 ››

father : tom marvolo riddle .

mother : unknown .

🇧🇮🇴 ››

CHAPTER I :

━ zaya was born in secret at the Malfoy Manor as the result of a liaison between her mother and Lord Voldemort a year before the fall of voldemort and her birth mother was sent to azkaban .

━ this left zaya without anyone to raise her . Rodolphus Lestrange, before he was captured left her at the diggory’s doorstep and used the False memory charm on him making him believe she belonged to a sister who had died and took her in . naming her zaya diggory .

━ growing up with the diggory , she was loved to an extent and she never lacked anything. Amos gave it all to her , just as he gave all to his son . Although the rest of the family treated her as a black sheep . like something that didn’t quite belong . but because of amos and cedric , zaya wasn’t one to care .

CHAPTER II :

━ it was towards her first year of hogwarts and she was getting all that she needed . Amos surprising her getting her first pet . Going to the best pet store he could find in the wizarding world. It was there when he found out Zaya was born a Parselmouth , a rare trait and confusion as to how . Something nagging at him since then . His false memory charm slightly breaking . Still , something in him knew he cared too much to question. Telling her no one must know .

━ zaya fell in love with the snake that was in the back of the store. A Runespoor. She wanted it and talked to the mother of it if she could take them. Along with a black cat that she also wanted. Amos got them both for her.

━ arriving at at the school she was easily sorted to:

“ SLYTHERIN ! ”

CHAPTER III :

━ a shocking sorting considering the diggory’s were always sorted in to hufflepuff . still , Zaya excelled in many things, much like cedric did in her years throughout hogwarts . though kept mostly to herself at times, she still had some friends. During holidays she would always stay in Hogwarts unless her amos wanted her to come home for a social event .

━ because of the way she was, most regarded her as the princess of slytherin. Being in the slug club and becoming a prefect in her 3rd year, include herself in activities involving the house. Zaya wasn’t exactly a model student but in the eyes of many adults and those with authorities, she was .

━ in her free time, many would say you can find zaya painting or playing her violin and occasionally for fun doing ballet . The teachings in hogwarts came easy to her and it’s no surprise that she would become Head Girl when she goes into her 7th years in the future .

━ having friends and she would include herself in activities involving the house. Cheering Cedric despite it going against her house . When the games ended during her 4th year , Ceddric’s death took a affected on her . though she would never admit it and doesn’t show it . she was close to him after all . she tried to help amos , yet he now would often times reject her help . Zaya just left it at that .

CHAPTER IV :

━ as the war started , zaya saw many take sides . It was only natural for people to assume she would side with the death eaters . Yet she did not . Many would assume her now to be with the order . No . Zaya never took a side . She didn’t partake in this war she thought to be useless and pointless .

━ that is until the battle in hogwarts , zaya sided with the order yet she did not join them . a decision she didn’t regret yet she also did not care for when harry potter lost his life . the death eaters were winning . she simply knew how to preserve her life yet strangely enough none were attacking her . avoided in harming her . she didn’t really understand until 5 years ago when voldemort called her his heir .

━ finding out about changed many things for zaya . yet one thing that remained the same was her neutrality . even if people now began to assume she took the side of her own father . zaya simply wishes to be left alone and do what she loves to do the most . at least she now knows where her temper comes from .

#imperio:intro

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snugglyporos · 2 years ago

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// hm. Long has it been since I read a series that I found to be interesting in concept yet so... vexing in terms of what is presented...

Undead/Unluck is such a curious idea, a rare series that improves as the author writes it, but which feels like it’s both rushing and yet not moving fast enough. Perhaps it’s how quickly things move when it’s about things that should have more explanation, and how slowly when it’s covering things we already grasp.

I think part of it is that it’s not very well explained at the beginning how the world is different, such as the idea that there aren’t stars in the sky at first, but then after things are established, the stuff that clearly needs elaboration doesn’t get enough time.

Also, there are lots of weird contradictions. Killing lots of rules makes the Sun mad, but when they kill all the captured ones, it doesn’t? I already get that God is a weird kinda all over the place and biased af, but still.

I also think that it would be nice if more time was given to fleshing out the rules personality wise? They clearly have personalities and are sentient creatures; having the captured ones displaying their personalities more would be nice.

Case in point: apparently the rule Move is pretty finicky in how they help or don’t help. We don’t see Unluck re-acquire Move’s help when she time loops though, she just has him. Also, he seems to be drinking soda all the time now, so I can only imagine she bought him off with sodas. Which would be a nice character moment to see! ‘I don’t want to help!’ ‘I’ll give you soda!’ ‘DEAL.’

Also, it’s unclear what things are rules and what aren’t rules. Example, ‘stop’ is a rules. As is ‘move,’ But then they say things like ‘race’ is a rule and I’m just... Series, no. Please do not establish that there is an Uma: Race. Do not. I understand that everything has to be a rule, like ‘language’ but still. It’s very confusing when you put that next to like, Rule: Shark.

Also, why is Rule: Kindness a giant orca whale? Was there no kindness before it existed? Series please stop being confusing.

Anyway, I would very much like more of the rules being all chaotic. I mean if ‘clothing’ and ‘blood’ can develop personalities, then clearly a path should be winning over the rules rather than destroying them all.

I may be somewhat unhappy that they just destroyed Autumn like that, if only because I’d like to see the more chaotic and haughty rules coming around to humans if only because they’re chaotic and easily amused by things.

#ooc #like give me Spoil being all like 'i love rotting things' and then being introduced to FERMENTATION #'you make DRINKS out of spoiling things?' and becoming a friend of humans

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kenxmatsui · 7 months ago

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"I think I just have to take your word on that. I would not waste time on such a thing if there was no point." He did not see how writing down all that came to mind helped to untangle thoughts, patience aside, in his case at least such a thing would never be a possibility, the confusing and ever changing headspace was too chaotic to assign proper words to it. "You don't believe in forgiving and forgetting, yet you wish to find peace with it? Need I point out the contradiction or are you aware? Resent and remember is not in your ballpark, that's not a game you could play. You care too much, wish to be liked too much." Their conversation on New Years would not be an easy one easily forgettable, one of the few instances where he had spoken so much and on things he did not expect to either, but it gave a deeper into who Briar was, what she prioritised and even how she regarded herself and the world around her, it was interesting to say the least. "To be sick of suffering is fine and all, but you can't stop it, you know right?" And he likely heed his own words on the matter too since he would forever be hell bent on those he cared for not getting hurt, but fate was a funny thing, pre-written, pre-destined, can't change the outcome despite best effort. "Hate to break it to you again, but the world is black and white, things may toe the line and shades and tints of colour might fool you into thinking otherwise, but it is and it isn't. That's it." He tried to see the in-between at times too, when hope became a minimal thing, but it was quick buried under everything. "Understandable, his feelings on this aren't simple either. It's hard to let go, by no means am I saying do so, it does not come easy, but like you said, didn't wouldn't, what's the purpose of it now? It happened. Is there any other way? Asides from sitting and letting it fester? Do you have a purpose, I suggest you find one if not." He pointed to the journal with a sharp nod, "Uncomplicate and untangle things for yourself or that will get worse."

"The point has yet to be found." She admitted, "But I'm tenacious and patient. So I figure one will come up sooner or later." She hoped not later; otherwise, all her anger and grief would be better resolved if she started throwing the book at the target of all her negative feelings. "Them." She ominously replied, "I sorta just write and let all of it come out. Everyone who has hurt me. Who I have not forgiven." She frowned, even further back than recent years Briar had a list of grievences she had not let go of, "I don't believe in forgiving and forgetting or any of that." She said, "But maybe it would be nice not to think about it so much. To find peace with it." She suggested, hopeful, almost like she didn't believe it herself. "I'd say yes." She replied plainly, what was the point in mixing words to a man who she'd shared some of her worst fears with while her eyes had been black it did not change he knew her. "I love Lunar Cove. But I think I love it because of my memories. My step father, my first everything. My whole life has been here. The people...I don't want any of them to suffer. I'm sick of the suffering." She blinked, a slow exhale. "It's not black and white." She said more aloud to herself than anything, "It has. I don't have uncomplicated feelings about it. But I don't think I even know the right thing in all of this." She swallowed, "We did the same thing and my mom died for it. Maybe if that hadn't happened if Poppy had never-" She still couldn't say the words, not now everything felt frayed and fresh. "If Kyle didn't....There is no point in what if and maybe. What happened did happen. The only way out it to keep going." She paused looking up to him for some of that stoic wisdom that she had come to expect an trust, "Isn't it?"

#— convo;#c: briar reed #c: briar 005

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amimimi · 4 years ago

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kissing face

synopsis: tiktok makes langa a lil insecure

genre: fluff

pairing: langa x reader

warnings: mentions of insecurity and physical appearance, kissing

word count: 1.4 k

notes: i started thinking about what langa’s fyp on tiktok would look like (it would be chaotic. pure, utter chaos. that and cooking tutorials. no in between) and then I wrote a lil paragraph for sh*ts and giggles. and THEN it turned into...all of this. also, i wrote this during my study breaks so if the gramma/spelling is off, it’s because my brain is actually fried. enjoy!

langa sees all those tiktoks making fun of that face boys make before they kiss you and he’s like “ew?”

but then he tries to practice kiss in the mirror and he’s horrified because wtf wtf wtf wtf? has he been kissing you like this since you started dating him? why haven’t you said anything?

so when he’s over at your house for a studying session, the both of you sitting on your bedroom floor, you don’t notice that langa is purposely withholding from kissing you because you’re in study mode.

the timer on your phone goes off, signaling for you both to take a break. sighing deeply, you rub the back of your cramping neck and look up from your laptop. you turn over to langa, who’s eyes are glossed over from reading, his hair a mess from frustratedly running his fingers through his locks—he looks like he’s just been shuttled from another dimension.

“i’ve...been rereading the same five sentences for the last thirty minutes” he murmurs, sounding equally as dazed as he looks.

this earns a giggle from you, as you shimmy over to wear he sits. with a sympathetic smile on your face, you smooth his hair down as you coo “poor baby”, before you start giggling again.

langa, whose brain is way too fried to respond, can only stare at you, blinking ever so slowly. you settle closer to him, cupping his cheeks and langa catches your gaze dropping to his lips.

suddenly, he gets a mental image of those god awful expression he saw on tiktok and he’s shaken from his studying induced stupor. Wide eyed, langa wriggles out you grasp feeling a little bad at your confused expression.

“is something the matter?” you ask, frowning slightly. “i’m sorry—”

langa places his hands over your cheeks before you can finish your apology. “close your eyes” he says, straight faced.

you blink. “huh?” you question.

“can you close your eyes...please?” he mumbles, a lot less confident than before. he pouts a little in an attempt to conceal the fact that he’s slightly blushing (you notice).

still confused, you shut your eyes. “okay, but hurry up. your hands are cold—” you stop yourself when he feel his breath fan your face. without thinking, you inhale on instinct. it was embarrassing to admit, but you loved the scent of langa’s breath. he was impeccable when it came to hygiene, so he always smelled nicely. but you loved langa’s scent—it was hard to explain. he always smelled like mint and well, himself. him. him. him. him.

you knew what was coming next, but you couldn’t help but jump when his lips met yours—soft and hesitant. inhaling much more deeply this time, you slightly part your lips and lean into the kiss. langa hums appreciatively and you bring your hands up to grasp onto his forearms.

before you can open your eyes, langa swiftly pulls away, leaving you slightly dazed. you open your eyes to see langa cautiously staring at you.

“why...what was that all about?” you ask, trying to keep your face from twisting into a smile. you give langa’s forearms a squeeze and he drops his hands from your face, resting them on your lap.

“nothing...” langa mumbles, looking everywhere but at you.

he was obviously not telling the truth, and you knew that. but you also knew that the inner workings of langa’s mind was an enigma and if you were being honest, this wasn’t even close to being the strangest thing he’s done.

so you let it go—that is until he’s getting ready to go home.

you’re standing in the doorway, watching langa tie his shoes before he stands up straight and adjusts the strap of his messenger bag over his chest.

you grin. “that was hot”

langa blinks. “what was?” he asks, bending over to pick up his skateboard.

“when you adjust your bag like that” you reply softly, sliding your fingers over the strap before you bring your hand over his chest.

langa’s confused expression melts into a fond smile. you think he looks prettiest like this, smiling so easily with a gentle shimmer in his eye, like moonlight reflecting off the ocean.

“okay, i’ll keep note of that” he replies quietly and you can’t help but giggle at the sharp contradiction between his formal choice of words and the affectionate tone of his voice.

langa continues to softly grin as you giggle.

but then, oh shit, you’re staring at his lip again. langa panics, not wanting to ruin the moment but he’ll be damned if you see that ugly ass expression on his face before he goes in for kiss. but you must’ve seen it before right? did you notice but chose not to say anything out to preserve his feelings? did he really look like a fish while kissing you? a fish?

“all that studying must’ve fried your brain, huh?” you smile at him through half-lidded eyes, drumming your fingers against his chest. langa realizes he’s been staring at you with a dead expression and bites his lip.

langa takes the hand you’ve placed in his chest and grips it. “goodnight, y/n” he whispers before hesitating. “c-close your eyes”

the smile on your face falters as you take in langa’s tensed appearance. you tilt your head to one side. “why?”

“so...”

“so...?”

“i can kiss you goodnight”

there’s a long pause. langa’s grip on your hand has increased tenfold as he stares at you expectantly and he almost looks—nervous?

you blink, still confused, before langa reluctantly continues on.

“just...until i figure out how to fix my face...” he mumbles, eyes flitting off to the side.

“okay, now I’m really lost”

“i—” langa starts before sighing, deciding it would be better to show you. with the hand that isn’t clasped against yours, langa whips his phone from his pocket and unlocks it.

bewildered, you watch your boyfriend closely as he navigates through his phone—for what? you have no clue. off handedly, you think to yourself about how cute his expression is, brows furrowed and his lips set in a tiny pout.

“this, this” he rushes, bringing up his phone up to your face. you watch the tiktok he’s pulled up for you, in which a girl imitates the different ways boys go in for kisses.

you purse your lips in an attempt to conceal your smile, your chest jumping with an aborted giggle.

“oh, that’s—” the sentence dies in your throat when you look up at langa to see his dejected expression. “oh, no no no, langa, no. sweetheart, no”

“we’ve been dating for months—” langa mutters as you cup his cheeks, standing on your tip toes so that you’re eye level with him.

“no, oh my god, langa!” you half-whine, giggling as you try to get langa to look at you. he directs his gaze toward the ground, cheeks warm in against your palms.

“—and you didn’t tell me that I was making fish eyes at you?”

“well, not fish eyes” you offer thoughtfully and langa peers up at your earnestly. you drop one hand from his cheek to grab his forearm, raising his hand so you can examine his phone again. you rewatch the tiktok again. “your eyes don’t get scary wide and you don’t let your mouth hang open like that”

the sigh of relief langa let’s out almost sends you into a laughing fit.

“but...”

langa winces, giving a slight whimper behind shut lips.

“i mean, you do cross your eyes a little—”

langa shuts his eyes, face grim, like you just told him his puppy passed away.

“but it’s really cute, insanely hot, very model-esque!” you rush, but langa hangs his head. you fight the urge to roll your eyes at his theatrics.“there has never been a time in which you’ve looked even remotely mediocre, let alone unattractive.”

langa glances up you.

“but it’s embarrassing...” he murmurs.

“but your hot...”

“i can still be embarrassed!”

“so you agree?”

“agree?”

“that you’re hot?”

langa’s face flushes as you smile up at him innocently. “i...never said that” he mumbles, turning his face from you.

“well if it truly bothers you, we can practice” you offer, gently pinching his cheek.

“right now?” he asks incredulously.

“only if you’d like” you shrug, placing your hands on top of langa’s biceps. his heart beat quickens when you grin up at him coquettishly. “i think you kiss fine, but i can make you into a bona fide kisser if you want.”

“how long would that take?” langa questions. in his head, he imagines that it would take days—weeks, even, to scrap off the awkward expressions from his face.

“hmm,” you hum with faux thoughtfulness, tapping your finger against your cheek. “when is reki coming to take you to S tonight?”

“11:45?”

“i’ll have you done by 11:30”

langa blinks at you, cheeks slightly rosy. then, his face falls into that easy smile, the smile that you love so much.

notes: dramatic langa is very pleasing to me. this was supposed to be like, two paragraphs long but then it turned into all of this. please excuse me for any errors, i’ve been studying for midterms all day and I wrote this during my 5 minute breaks lfkgkdk@&:$:

i’ll come back to edit this!

#sk8 the infinty #sk8 the infinity x reader #langa x reader #langa hasegawa x reader #langa x you #langa x y/n

362 notes · View notes

peaceisadirtyword · 3 years ago

Text

Heathen VI (Ivar/Edlynn)

A/N; Hello!♥️ I’m back after a short, holiday break! And even if these next weeks are going to be chaotic, I will try to keep posting Heathen once a week as I did before! There’s only another four (five with this one) left until the end👀, so I hope you enjoy it a lot🥰 I didn’t have time to reply to your comments on last chapter but I read all of them and I’m so happy to see you’re liking it🥺 thank you so much, it means the world🙏🏻 took a bit longer to finish this one because I wasn’t too convinced but I hope you like it too♥️

Warnings: smut ( 👀), talk of feelings, my cringey writing, Ivar is the best, mentions of alcohol, violence, sex and talk about arranged marriage and religious things!

Words: 4823 (will I ever stop)

Heathen Masterlist

gif belongs to @therealcalicali

"We could move here" Harald pointed at the map. Hvitserk followed his finger and pressed his lips together. Maybe a bit risky, he thought, but he didn't dare contradict the king because of strategical differences, that was Ivar's job "It's closer to the sea, and it would be easier to run away if the saxons decide to attack us once we don't have the saxon girl as leverage"

"It could be" he nodded, as he waited for Ivar's opinion. But as the minutes passed and his brother didn't say a word, Hvitserk raised his head to look at him.

Ivar was sitting in front of him, with a drink on his hand, but looking away. He didn't seem to be even listening to what they were saying, and when Hvitserk's eyes followed his gaze, he understood why.

His lips curved on a small smirk and immediately turned to look at Harald, who also seemed amused to have caught the ruthless Ivar the Boneless sneaking glances to a lady.

Edlynn was sitting on a cut tree, not very far away from them, and her eyes were fixed on a book that Hvitserk had seen on Ivar's tent. She only had a couple of guards with her, and her wrists were untied, giving her much more freedom than Hvitserk ever thought Ivar would give her.

"Ivar" he called his name, making him turn his head with a frown, almost like he was annoyed by his interruption "Are you listening?"

Harald held back a laugh when Ivar blinked, somewhat confused, until he spotted the map and the pieces the king had moved, and seemed to get out of his trance. His cheeks reddened softly, but he pretended not to realize as he scrutinized the map, trying to remember what had changed since Edlynn stepped out of the tent and his eyes wandered off.

Hvitserk raised his eyebrow. He already knew what was going on, since he caught Edlynn leaving the tent with swollen lips more than once and had seen them sleeping together, with her face hidden in Ivar's neck. But at first he thought his brother was just having some fun, not falling for the saxon girl. Those glances said otherwise.

"It would be risky" Ivar cleared his throat "I don't think Alfred would attack us once Edlynn is with him"

Harald raised his head again. Edlynn? He didn't know when Ivar started calling the prisoner by her name, but found it amusing.

"Then what do you propose?" Hvitserk tried to ignore it, but he would ask his brother about it "Shall we stay here?"

"I think we should move a bit closer to the boats, but not like it seems we're retiring" he shrugged "But it's your decision, king Harald"

Harald had gotten used to the mocking tone whenever Ivar said his title out loud. He didn't really care, it had started to sound like a joke to him too.

"I will think about it tonight, and tomorrow we'll decide"

But just when he was about to stand up, maybe too eager to go back to his tent, a guard approached them.

Edlynn pretended not to realize he was staring. Neither of them talked about it but both of them seemed to think the same: no one should know of their... Affair? She couldn't help but blush whenever she thought about it. Well, she didn't even know if it could be considered an actual affair. There had been kisses, some more innocent than others, Ivar had touched her body in a way no one had in her entire life, she had let her hands wander down his strong arms and chest, but nothing more. It was still a sin, something she didn't want people knowing. Edlynn would be mortified if someone heard about it, about what she was doing with a... Heathen.

But the thing that alarmed her the most weren't the kisses or the caresses, not even the fire that Ivar awakened in her, but the warmth that expanded through her chest whenever she saw him, the smiles, the little laughs, the reddened cheeks... She couldn't think about anything else that weren't his blue eyes and his pouty lips, nor could pray in peace without remembering how soft his hair was under her fingers or what a beautiful smile he had. Every night she promised she'd stop, that she wouldn't let herself fall in love with him, but sometimes, especially under the furs and between his arms, she thought there was nothing she could do now.

It was temporal, Edlynn tried not to think about what would happen when she had to go back to her family, to Lord Edmund, the man who was supposed to be her husband. Would she ever feel the same with him? Probably not, and the thought saddened her. It was such a beautiful feeling she wished she could carry forever.

Even if it was hard, and even if she knew many people in the camp suspected it, Edlynn tried to act like nothing had happened. They barely talked to each other in public, but she noticed he was always close to her, or at least close enough to be able to watch her. She liked that.

Edlynn was reading, but she hadn't turned the page in what felt like hours, too focused on the glances that certain man threw her way and on hiding her blush. Until someone else approached the three men that sat down not too far away from her. She raised her head, interested, as the man seemed to carry important news. Even if she had understood their language, she wouldn't have heard anything, as the noise of the camp was too loud. But she could see the king with a big smile, celebrating something. And Ivar had frowned and his eyes were now fixed on the ground at his feet.

When he finally looked her way again, he ignored the silent question on her eyes and looked directly at the guard that stood next to her, pointing to his own tent with his head. And Edlynn was practically dragged towards it.

____________________________________

That night they celebrated. The reason was still a mystery to her, but Edlynn tried to ask every single person that entered the tent, from Brianna to Hvitserk, without receiving any answer. She could hear the happy screams and laughs, and figured it couldn't be bad, right?

At least not for them.

A shiver travelled down her spine when she thought about her family, would they be alright? Had those heathens killed them?

And then Ivar came back.

His eyes were bright and Edlynn figured he had been drinking too. His movements were slow, and let himself fall on the bed with a grunt, letting his crutch go before rubbing his face with his hands.

"Hello" Edlynn raised an eyebrow, why do men drink so much if they feel bad afterwards?

"Hi, princess" he muttered, grunting "How was your day?" Ivar sat on the bed, sighing. It had been a long day, and it seemed it would be a long night too.

"Clearly not as interesting as yours"

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't turn to look at her.

"I was trying to negotiate" he shrugged "And king Harald negotiates better when there's ale"

"Negotiate what?" Edlynn narrowed her eyes, moving a bit closer to him.

_____________________________________

"The saxons will agree to our terms" the messenger smiled proudly as he delivered the news "They will pay, and give us land and time to settle" he nodded "In exchange for the saxon girl"

Harald's laugh startled Ivar, who stared at the messenger intensely.

"Of course they will!" he celebrated, nodding his head and patting Ivar's back softly "You were right, once again"

He shot him a fake smile, which faded as soon as the king turned to Hvitserk. He thought he'd have more time, that asking for such a ridiculous amount of gold, land and a truce would be too much to give for just one girl, and that the saxons would try and change the terms. That would've given him weeks, even months. His eyes went back to where Edlynn was sitting, and silently told the guard to take her away.

"The saxon king said they shall wait for us in the battlefield to make the exchange, and that the girl must be unharmed and well, otherwise they won't give us what we asked for"

"Thank you, my friend" Harald patted the soldier's shoulder with a bright smile "Go, eat and rest, tonight we'll celebrate"

Hvitserk didn't stop looking at Ivar. He noticed how he clenched his jaw and licked his lips repeatedly. He felt his own lips curving on a smile, but just slapped his head playfully.

That night they did celebrate. Everyone sang, drank and ate next to the king, around a fire. Another victory, thanks to Ivar. But Ivar didn't seem too keen on participating on the celebrations.

"What's it, Ivar?" Hvitserk sat next to him as he saw him pour the ale on his horn for the fifth time "Aren't you happy to get rid of the saxon girl and get paid for it?" he chuckled, but his brother didn't laugh with him.

"I just think..." Ivar clenched his jaw again "Maybe the price is too low"

"Low?" Hvitserk raised an eyebrow "We didn't think they'd agree, it's too much, that price would fit a queen, but not a noble girl"

"Yes but they did agree to it" he shook his head "What if... What if we ask for more?"

"They would say no, and the negotiations would continue, we don't want that" his older brother frowned and shook his head, taking another sip from his horn "Because we don't want that, right?"

"No" Ivar replied maybe too fast, and then scowled "It's just that I don't think we've benefited enough from holding her captive, she's obviously more important than we thought"

"Well, dear brother, if I'm honest, I think you've benefited quite a lot from having her here" he chuckled, patting Ivar's leg softly. His brother widened his eyes at him, but managed to hide his surprise and go back to scowling.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hvitserk"

"Sure" he laughed, shaking his head "Sure, you don't know, but it's quite obvious, Ivar" he shot him a soft smile "I can't blame you, she's pretty, innocent... I thought you didn't like saxon girls"

"Shut up" he rolled his eyes, but Hvitserk saw the little smile he tried to hide "I'm not trying to keep her here, I just want to make sure we get the deal that benefits us the most, that's all"

"Fine, I believe you" this time it was Hvitserk's turn to roll his eyes "Tell Harald, then, but I don't think he will agree"

"I was waiting for him to get drunk" Ivar shrugged, making his brother laugh.

"Good luck then" Hvitserk winked at him before getting up "Want advice?"

"No"

"Don't fall in love" he ignored him "That doesn't end well"

_________________________________

Ivar finally gave up, and went back to the tent, in need of some peace and maybe the soft touch of the woman that sat on he bed behind him. Harald didn't listen, and they kept celebrating.

"Your king agreed to our terms" he said, finally turning his head to look at her. Edlynn wore another dress they had found for her, with her auburn hair loose, and she looked so beautiful Ivar had to blink a couple of times. He wanted to see her reaction, would she be happy? Or would she feel as weird as he had been feeling all day?

But instead she looked confused.

"What... What does that mean?"

"That means we'll meet them in a few days and I will let you go"

Edlynn gasped, but instead of feeling relieved and thankful, eager to see her family again, to see Mildrith, to go home... She looked into those ocean eyes and only felt a strange emptiness inside her.

I must be insane, she thought as she crawled closer to him. Ivar's eyes didn't left her face, almost like he was waiting for her to smile, laugh and sigh in relief.

Edlynn didn't do any of those things.

"Aren't you happy?" he gulped.

"I... I suppose I am" she muttered "But..."

I know, he thought, nearly desperately. He couldn't describe it either.

"You'll go back to your castle, you'll marry your lord, you'll be with your family and will have a church to pray to your God every time you want"

"Yes, but..."

"Wasn't that what you wanted?" he sounded sharper than he intended.

"I don't want that anymore" Edlynn scowled "I don't want to go back and marry, I don't want to spend my days sewing, gossiping with other women and praying"

Not so long ago, she wouldn't have even imagined she'd say those words, that was her life, a life she had enjoyed and lived happily. But now... Now she had tried other things, new things... Was it that bad to want to keep them?

"I know it's my duty" she continued, the tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, but she held them as she had been taught "And I know I will have to do it someday but I... I will miss you"

Ivar looked away, clenching his jaw again and hoping she didn't see the tears filling his eyes. The thought of entering that tent and finding it empty, without the familiar presence of the annoying saxon girl praying or reading, of spending his nights studying maps alone instead of the books in latin Edlynn would read for him, or talking about the Gods, about the adventures of Thor and Loki or the golden apples of Idunn was... Not what he wanted.

Not even the possibility of conquering England was helping.

He felt Edlynn getting closer, and her small hand, with her soft fingers that had never held any kind of weapon, touched his shoulder. Ivar felt dizzy, but couldn't know if it was because of the ale or because of her.

"I will miss you too"

The words left his lips before he could hold them back, and when he raised his head to look at her, Edlynn had the biggest smile on her lips. She almost made him smile too.

"I... You could come and visit me someday?" she muttered, biting her lip "My friend Mildrith would love to meet you, she's obsessed"

Ivar raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think your father or your husband would let me visit you? You're supposed to hate me"

Edlynn's smile faded.

"I don't hate you" she tilted his head in an adorable way, and Ivar had to look away again "You were a bit mean at first, but you're not like they say you are... And he's not my husband"

"Yet" he shrugged "What do they say about me?"

Edlynn giggled, shaking her head.

"Mildrith said you're the Devil, in a human shape, that you are ruthless and... I heard you drink blood and eat human flesh"

Ivar couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't eat human flesh" he scowled in disgust "Do you think I could be that Devil you talk about?"

Edlynn took a deep breath, and her fingers caressed softly his cheek.

"You could be" she said, nodding slowly "You're smart, ambitious, ruthless, but also beautiful, like a fallen angel" Edlynn blushed "You do tempt me to sin"

Ivar smirked, humming in delight. She had a lot more to say about his looks, but decided to keep it to herself to avoid feeding his ego.

"And you would invite me, the heathen who tempts you, to your home with your father and your husband?"

Edlynn blushed again.

"He's not my husband" she repeated.

"But you're going to marry him, princess, he will be your husband soon, unless..."

His eyes fixed on the axe he had next to the bed, and Edlynn gasped and punched his arm.

"Don't even think about it!"

Her reaction amused Ivar, who shook his head laughing. Even if he wasn't actually joking.

"Lord Edmund is a good man, a good christian, he will take care of me" she said quietly, almost trying to convince herself "And it will be a good thing for my family"

"From what I've seen, princess, you don't need anyone to take care of you" he sighed, leaning to undo his braces. She smiled at that, feeling that warmth fill her body again. It was a huge compliment coming from him.

When he finished taking off the braces and removed most of his clothes Edlynn was already under the furs, her eyelids felt heavy but she forced herself to stay awake. She wanted to enjoy every moment she had left with him, knowing she wouldn't see him again. They still had some days, though, that comforted her.

Ivar nearly moaned when he finally was able to lay on the bed. His eyes had been a bit more blue that morning, so it had been a difficult day. Edlynn watched him in silence, amazed by the perfection of his features. How could he be the Devil when he looked sculpted by God? He was too beautiful to be impure, but then again, he was a heathen. Her mind went back to his wife, and a strange pang of jealousy stroke her. What would he do if she kissed him now?

"It's rude to stare, princess"

Ivar had an amused smirk on his lips, which only grew when he saw Edlynn's glare.

"Remember when I said I'd miss you? Well, I take it back"

That made him laugh.

"Go to sleep, little one" he muttered, already closing his eyes "Maybe I can teach you some more archery before you leave, but only if you rest"

He could hear a little gasp and imagined her excited smile, but didn't open his eyes until he felt her crawling closer to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. When he did look at her, she was already ready to sleep, with her eyes closed and breathing slowly.

"Good night, heathen"

Ivar couldn't help but smile, too.

"Good night, princess"

______________________________________

Ivar was cold. He stirred in his sleep looking for the source of warmth he was missing, but opened his eyes when he couldn't find it.

The bed was empty, he frowned and pawed at the furs, confused. Where is she?

The thought of her escaping made him more sad than angry, and he was nearly gasping when he finally spotted her. Edlynn sat on the wooden stool next to his table, studying the paintings of one of the books he had at the dim light of a nearly melted candle.

"Sorry" she pouted, looking at him with widened eyes "I didn't mean to wake you up"

"You didn't" he groaned, rubbing his eyes "What are you doing awake? It's the middle of the night"

He couldn't hear anything outside the tent, only the hushed voices of some guards, and it was still dark.

"I couldn't sleep" she shrugged.

"Come back to bed" he nearly ordered, narrowing his eyes at her. Edlynn held back a laugh as she closed the book, leaning in to blow the candle before making her way back to the bed. Ivar watched her as she crawled under the furs and laid back, with her eyes still open.

"It feels strange to go back and marry someone else"

Ivar frowned in the darkness of the tent.

"What does that mean?"

"You're the first man I shared the bed with" she muttered "The first man I kissed... The first touching me. I always believed that man would be my husband"

"I'm also the first man that made you a prisoner" he teased, and Edlynn rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"I don't think you understand"

"Then tell me"

"I want you to be the last, too"

Edlynn bit her own tongue after saying it, taking a deep breath as Ivar turned to look at her. She nearly regretted it, but... Why hide it? They probably wouldn't see each other again. She was just telling the truth, like a good christian.

"You don't know what you're saying"

His answer confused her even more.

"What?"

"I... We're on different sides, princess" he sighed, and held himself back from reaching out to caress her cheek "I am a heathen, remember?"

"But you're good to me" she pouted, and Ivar nearly leant in to kiss her "I've seen you talk about your Gods with passion, laugh with your brother, I've seen you bonding with your men and even stroking horses... You're not the monster they talk about, at least not now... You treated me well... As well as you can treat a prisoner, I don't see how you're different from any christian man I know"

Ivar couldn't help but smile and lean his forehead against hers, his fingers tingled, desperate to touch her. He felt a faintly familiar warmth inside his chest.

"You have to go back home, princess" he insisted "You'll forget about me and will learn to hate me again"

"I will never hate you" she muttered, and then there was silence. Ivar nearly thought she had fallen asleep again, and kept relaxing against her body, listening to her breathing.

"Ivar" it was the first time he had heard her saying his name, and it sounded so soft with her voice... He looked at her, who had her eyes fixed on his Mjölnir necklace "Kiss me?"

It sounded more like a question than a demand. Edlynn wasn't nearly ready when she felt his strong hand around the side of her neck and his lips pressed against hers. She sighed in delight and kissed him back, grabbing his arm shyly. She had missed his kisses so much... What would she do without them?

Ivar deepened the kiss, making Edlynn moan quietly and mover her hand to his face, cupping hit softly until her fingers touched his hair. Ivar's hand roamed down her body, settling on her waist and nearly touching her ass. Things were getting out of control, and Ivar didn't know how much he could keep things... Like that.

Edlynn moved even closer, and now he could feel her breasts against his bare chest. Ivar sighed and smiled against her sweet lips, tightening his grip around her waist. They broke the kiss to breathe, and Edlynn smiled brightly at him before leaning in to kiss him again.

"We can stop whenever you want" he groaned as her thigh pressed against his cock, making it twitch.

"I don't want to stop" she replied, frowning, and he nearly laughed.

Edlynn was serious. She had heard about it more than once, her whole life everyone assured that it was painful and not enjoyable at all for women, but everything Ivar did in that moment felt good... Why wouldn't that feel good then?

"I thought you weren't allowed to do this" he panted as Edlynn's lips landed on his jaw softly. Her kisses were shy, inexperienced, innocent... Completely different from Katia, Freydis or Margrethe, the only women he had ever kissed, but just as effective.

"I'm not" she giggled "Should I stop?"

"No" Ivar groaned and tightened his grip on her waist. If they stopped now, he was going to go crazy. He had tried to erase her body from his mind since he saw her in the river that day, and he had failed.

"I want to do this" she muttered, interrupting their kisses to look at his eyes again "Because I've been told men like it, a lot" she blushed, but the darkness hid it "And I want you to remember me"

"Trust me, princess" Ivar squirmed under her, his body reacting to her closeness "I was going to remember you anyway"

When they kissed again, he tugged at the skirt of her dress, nearly moaning when he finally was able to touch her bare skin. It was soft, warm, and Ivar felt her stiffen when he caressed her leg. Her hand traced the ink lines of his chest as his lips traveled down her neck, Edlynn gasped and let out a shaky breath, biting her tongue. She was supposed to be silent, right?

"Women can also enjoy this" he said against her skin, his fingers reached her inner thigh and Edlynn's muscles tensed under his touch "Want me to show you?"

He smirked when she nodded shyly. Edlynn was biting her lip and looking down in curiosity, even if she couldn't see his hand approaching her sex. Ivar wasn't too sure of what he was doing, but kept reaching until he finally touched her, and Edlynn let out a strangled sound and he quickly looked at her. She had closed her eyes and her nails were digging on his skin. Ivar kept caressing her folds until he reached the place that made her jump and moan loudly.

Edlynn quickly covered her mouth as Ivar smirked with pride and started circling his fingers as his brothers had said more than once. He would have loved to go down and kiss her properly, but didn't want to scare her so soon.

When Ivar finally pressed two fingers to her entrance, Edlynn opened her eyes, looking both aroused and confused at the same time.

"Relax" he whispered, reaching to kiss her softly "How does it feel?"

She was gasping, but managed to reply with a small moan and a frown.

"Weird" she muttered "But... Good"

"Good" he nodded, and increased the pace, making Edlynn moan again and grab his arm "I've got you, princess"

She was shaking between his arms as he started curling his fingers inside her, enjoying the way her walls clenched around them and the incoherent moans she let out. His hand was covered with wetness, and finally Ivar retrieved his hand, making Edlynn whimper in protest.

But he needed both hands to tear that stupid dress apart.

She gasped and blushed when he finally was able to throw the pieces of fabric away, to reveal her entire naked body to his eyes. Ivar growled and his lips collapsed against hers again. His hands were everywhere, touching her breasts, her belly and her ass at the same time, and soon his mouth followed them. She nearly felt overwhelmed, where she expected pain and discomfort she only got pleasure, a different kind of pleasure, and she needed more, so much more.

Ivar finally pushed her to lay down on the bed, and moved to crawl between her legs to keep kissing her.

"Want me to fuck you, princess?"

Edlynn widened her eyes, but her legs tightened around his waist and Ivar put his pants down just enough to free his cock. He enjoyed the surprise on her face when she saw it, not used to women being impressed by him.

"Look at me" he muttered, noticing how she grew nervous "Do you trust me?"

Edlynn allowed herself to get lost into his eyes again, nodding slowly and grabbing his neck as he pressed into her slowly. Ivar needed all of his willpower to keep a slow pace to avoid hurting her too much. She scrunched her nose in pain and closed her eyes. Ivar wasn't an expert, but he knew that, for women, it was painful the first time. Her little shrieks of pain brought back some not very nice memories from his own first time.

"Hey, princess, open your eyes" he stopped moving, even if he was already shaking from feeling her tight walls around him, when Edlynn obeyed, she had tears in her eyes "Am I hurting you too much?"

She shook her head and licked her lips.

"Just a bit"

"I'm sorry" he kissed her temple and let out a shaky breath "I promise it gets better"

His own eyes were fluttering and he could barely stay still.

"Keep going" she muttered "I'll be fine"

As he started moving again, Edlynn felt the pain fading slowly. It didn't became pleasurable, like it had when he had used his hand, but it became more... Tolerable. She even felt some pleasure, and it wasn't as bad as she thought, in fact, she enjoyed the way Ivar muttered some strange words in Norse she couldn't understand, and how he moaned and sighed against her skin. It was truly a sight, to see him with his eyes closed in pleasure, enjoying her body in ways she never thought anyone would.

When Ivar finished, he captured her lips with his again, drowning the sounds they both made as he finally stopped moving. His forehead rested against hers, and their hands were intertwined. None of them said anything at first, enjoying the feeling of being so close, and Ivar let himself hide his face in her neck, sighing. How was he going to let her go now?

___________________________________

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @therealcalicali @blushingskywalker @gruffle1 @justacripple @heartbeats-wildly @letsrunawaytotomorrow @inforapound @sallydelys @hellogabysblog @winchesterwife27 @hecohansen31 @youbloodymadgenius @xinyourdreamsx @funmadnessandbadassvikings @tgrrose @lovessce @tootie-fruity @didiintheblog @alexhandersenx @belovedcherry @fantasydevil2002 @xceafh @astrape-the-weatherwitch @destynelseclipsa @momowhoo @mcrmarvelloki @nanahachikyuu @valopz @mrsalwayswrite @poisonous00 @whenimaunicorn @heavenly1927 @seeking-a-great--perhaps @nukyster-blog @alexhandersenblog @synnersaint @yummycastiel

#ivar imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar x oc #ivar smut #vikings #vikings imagine #heathen

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refriedweeb · 4 years ago

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YOU SAY I AM WHOLE WRAPPED UP IN YOUR ARMS (HAWKS + FEM!PREGNANT READER)

A/N: HEY BABIES! I'm back from the beach and ready to fuck up some feels. This comes requested by @peregrinestook <3 I listened to the softest, gentlest, saddest music writing this, so I hope you enjoy my babies

Prompt: “how about some hawks fluff with a pregnant reader? 🥺”

Tags: fluff, pregnancy, pregnant reader, domestic hawks

Word Count: 2,151

You shouldn’t have been surprised that what felt like a blink of time in you and Keigo’s relationship, you’d wound up pregnant. It was a two to party sort of ordeal, and as two adults there was only so much that could be spoken for. You knew Keigo went into periods of rutting in the spring, where all he did was want to claim a mate and to have babies with them. It was part of his instinct as an avian hero, and just because you’d been some several fresh months into your relationship didn’t make you exempt. As a matter of fact, while you’d been doing the deed that had gotten you pregnant, Keigo had uttered over and over again how he was going to put a baby in you. How excited he was to get you pregnant.

And you knew what they said about the things you spoke into the universe becoming a reflection of your reality...

Four weeks later, your period had been late. The first thought in your head had been that it’d just been thrown off by some hormonal shifts from the other women that worked around you on a day to day basis, but then it still hadn’t come after another week had passed. And then that lingering thought in the back of your mind had rolled all the way to the front of your thoughts. You might have been pregnant. It certainly would have added up, your last period before the missed one having fallen just in front of Keigo’s rutting season. Without telling Keigo what you thought was up (partly out of fear that he’d react poorly now that he was out of his rutting season and partly because you didn’t want to instill a false sense of hope if a family was what he wanted) you took a handful of pregnancy tests. They all came back positive. You made an appointment with a doctor to get tested. That came back positive.

Of course, Keigo had noticed it before you had. It was something in you that had shifted in a way he’d never seen before. The way that your skin just seemed to glow more than it ever had before. It was the way that the smell of you changed to something else he hadn't ever had to know before. Yet, even with his suspicions that you were carrying his child, Keigo didn’t say anything to you about it while you were still working out what was going on. The thing about Keigo wasn’t that he didn’t want a family. As a matter of fact, he did want one. The reason that Keigo waited for you to come to him with the realization that you were pregnant, was one much darker. He’d grown up without any true idea of what a family and unconditional love was. For someone like Keigo, the want and realization that he could have a family was terrifying. What if he wasn’t a good parent? What if he’d fuck his child or children up in the way the commission had done to him because that was all he’d known in terms of parental figure? Keigo couldn't imagine doing to an innocent child what had happened to him. What if his child came out with wings and the commission saw some way to capitalize or exploit it? There were so many points of confusion and contradiction in his head about how to feel about the impending news you were bound to tell him, he didn’t know how to feel about it.

He wanted a family. He wanted what he’d gone his entire life without. But just because he wanted that...didn’t mean he’d be any good at it.

Keigo had been relatively quick to change his tune on that. It’d started when you approached him with the collection of pregnancy tests you’d been hiding and the ultrasound you’d gotten when you’d gone to the first appointment to confirm with hard proof that there was indeed a baby growing inside you. He’d held those pregnancy tests in his hand, stared down at all those positive pregnancy signs on the little sticks. It’d hit him pretty hard in that moment, but had been nothing compared to the semi-truck that had plowed right through him when he’d seen that ultra sound of a little tiny chicken. One that was supposedly growing inside your belly. Keigo had been silent for a long period of time, his avian eyes glued to that little tiny thing that was developing inside you. He’d been quiet, stoic while you shifted around nervously, waiting for him to say something.

When he finally remembered he had a voice, Keigo’s words were simple. Effortless in how they’d fallen off his tongue. “I’m going to be a dad.”

That’d been months ago, and since you’d handed that ultrasound to him, Keigo had known what he wanted with you. Now, you’d just passed your four month mark, just over halfway to when your due date was. And Keigo had been nothing shy of perfect. Every weird or odd craving you had, he’d jumped to get it or find it, or find someone who could get it. If he’d been obsessed with touching you before, it’d only been amplified since the appearance of your baby bump. You knew it’d always been in Keigo to have a breeding mindset, but the sex had turned an entirely different corner during your pregnancy as well. Things were different, though not in a bad way. He’d never thought you as weak or needing coddling before, but Keigo handled you in a very different way now. He was mindful that his child grew inside that beautiful belly of yours.

The past couple of months had gone by in a whirlwind. The place you and Keigo had gotten together (though really before that you might as well have been living together with how often you were at his place) was fully furnished, the nursery that would become your child’s slowly coming together as you and Keigo worked together to make it perfect. Despite the chaotic schedules you both worked around, Keigo hadn’t missed a single appointment. On his patrols and when he did his hero work, he carried a tinier version of that first ultrasound you’d given him. Folded up and creased well from how many times he’d opened it up to either show others or to look at it when he was hovered in the sky with a soft smile on his face. Despite his fears, his worries about his own ability to parent a (hopefully) mini-version of the child he’d been (and could hardly remember) before the commission had gotten a hold of him.

And you...he was so in love with the thought of you as a mother. As his wife, as his partner for the rest of his life. Keigo had never felt particularly fond of the domestic approach to life, so sure that he couldn’t have one of his own. But all it’d taken was the right person, the right time. All it’d taken was you.

Such were thoughts and memories that filtered through his mind as he rested his head on the bump of your belly, his index finger tracing idle shapes over the soft skin there. It was a lazy day, and neither one of you had thought it worthwhile to get out of bed. Keigo’s cheek was pressed up against your belly, letting out little coo’s and trills from the back of his throat, hoping that his son or daughter could hear him through the skin, muscle, and fat. He nuzzled his head against it, which only brought a giggle from you, causing your belly to shake as his head popped up.

“What?” Something that you’d taken notice to since the moment Keigo had jumped on the fatherhood bandwagon, was how much more protective he’d become over you. Any moan or groan from stretching or even the smallest pain that had nothing to do with your baby, set him on edge. There were times where it could become overwhelming, but you knew he did it with the best intentions. He just wanted to be able to protect the things that he thought were most precious to him. You and his unborn child.

“Nothing,” you answered, head propped up on several pillows. You reached out and pushed some golden blond hair from where it’d flopped onto his forehead. “You just tickled me, is all.” Keigo watched you for a beat longer to make sure that was all that was wrong, before he dropped his head back to your belly and resumed his tracing. He traced your belly, you combed through the usually windswept and knotted golden hair of his with gentleness. The two of you lapsed into a stretch of quiet, though it’d always been comfortable. You stared down as Keigo followed the route his finger too, the only sound following shortly after the sounds and tongue clicks that came from the back of his throat.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” Came his sudden question. “Our baby, I mean. Do...will I be a good dad?”

It’d been a question you’d seen in Keigo’s eyes several times throughout your pregnancy so far, but never one he’d actually vocalized. To hear it asked then, his voice so hesitant as if he really considered the fact that the answer would be a no, broke your heart. You sat up straighter in your position. Keigo stirred, twisting around so that he could look up at you. His brows were turned up, eyes open and vulnerable as he waited for your answer.

“Keigo,” you said, feeling the (pregnancy hormonal) shift of emotions overtake your thought process. Quickly enough, tears prickled at the corner of your eyes. “Keigo, how could you not be?” You leaned in as much as you could with your protruding belly. “You are going to be the best dad to our little chicken nugget,” you said, hand reached out to cup his cheek, the stubble tickling your palm. “And they are going to love you so much, and nothing is going to change that.”

He thought about the things he’d done in his life prior to meeting you. Prior to wanting to be a better version of himself that didn’t rely on a cynical sense of self-preservation in order to get through the days. It’d taken so long for Keigo to admit to himself that he had a life worth living. He averted his gaze from yours, looking down to your swollen belly. “You think so?”

Your grip on Keigo’s chin tightened, bringing that look back up to meet yours. “Of course I do. You know why I think that? Because you didn’t have it, and you would never want anyone to have to go through what you did. Because you have so much love already in your heart, for me, for our baby.” Your thumb brushed over his cheek, and Keigo leaned into your touch with closed eyes. “Because it’s too easy to imagine you waking up in the middle of the night and tripping over some toys in the nursery to feed them, teaching them how to tie their shoes, how to fly if they have wings like they’re incredible dad,” the tears in your eyes blurred your vision, and you felt wetness on Keigo’s cheek from his own tears. “Taking them up to look at the stars, to chase the sunset, and giving me a heart attack the entire time you’re gone,” you whispered. “I couldn’t have picked a better person out there in the world to raise a family with.” was your conclusion, the words final as you swept away his tears. “Please don’t doubt yourself like that ever again, Keigo.”

He opened his eyes slowly, golden eyes noticeably softer. The emotion behind your words were ones he felt straight to the center of his being. How heavy the conviction was behind them. Keigo leaned over and pressed a series of chaste kisses against your belly. A belly that held his future and half of his world in it. The imagery you’d made with your words played in his head like a movie he had yet to see. “I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

You shook your head, hand moving back to his hair. “Don’t be. Just know whatever it is you think you won’t be able to do...you’ll be able to do. Especially with me at your side.” Your stomach gave a little rumble, drawing both of your attention to it. “Though, I do think baby Keigo could do with some chocolate and marshmallow ice cream right about now...”

This perked Keigo right up, and with one final press to your belly he was sprung from the bed, throwing on some grey sweats and the jacket he wore when he flew. “I’ll be back in ten.”

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sonadowwiki · 1 month ago

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It's alright. I would understand that there can be some confusion since random lore that makes no sense was added, even if it contradicts past lore (which is supposed to be revisited in this game).

There are a lot of things that don't make sense and are inconsistent, such as Shadow's characterization. I actually talked about this recently to someone. You can read about it here to see some of those points with the content from games shown with it.

If I were to talk about it briefly, Shadow is inconsistent or out of character because:

He is over reliant on Maria when he is already let go of his past to make his own decisions in life and not be bound by Maria or do things in life solely for her since Shadow the Hedgehog 2005. He also never mentioned her again since then to show that he's not dependent on her, which was for 19 years (2005-2024).

They make him overly mean to Sonic despite him having history of being kind to him or helping him, even before Sonic Generations.

They make him overly violent at the thought of hurting innocent people despite him not being so chaotic in actual lore.

They make him steal when in lore, Shadow would ask before taking action, such as how he told G.U.N. about the bomb in the Sonic x Shadow 2021 July Calendar Story before taking action to stop the bomb.

They don't have Shadow use Chaos Control to warp up to the ARK in the animation despite the Chaos Emerald having the ability to warp time and space.

There are also points that make the game inconsistent, such as:

They literally rewrote the original game to forcibly try to change history just to push their agenda on how they want others to perceive Amy. This is the same behavior as they did with Sonic Superstars where they made Sonic suddenly okay in her presence when that was never the case in history.

They are trying to force others to believe in the history they want you to believe, which once again, is them trying to rewrite literal history to have it not be accurate to the lore despite claiming to be "lore masters." (The one who overlooked the lore is this man.)

They're not accurate to the lore in general with both Sonic and Shadow Generations.

They added in random lore that makes no sense or came from nowhere, such as Maria having a sister and designing Gerald's sons. The second point wasn't even monitored by those with authority, as stated from the individual who even wrote and drew the journal (that's not even in Japanese because it is an English product, which one should think is strange because the series is supposed to be Japanese, not English. So why would there be an inclusion of a lot of lore in an English product that wasn't even made by those in the country the series belongs to?). The journal in general is a book that has a lot of nonsense or random content in it that tries too hard to connect things, even things from content that wasn't made in Japan.

In general, there are things that don't make sense as to why something happened, such as why Sonic and Shadow even raced each other when Shadow didn't have to and could have just kept the Emerald.

Like you've said, it's very confusing because so many things contradict themselves, but that's exactly why I wouldn't say this game is in any shape or form official. They literally changed the original game that is supposed to be just a port, after all. I think that's reason enough to say that this game isn't official and is being warped or made this way for the sole purpose of personal agendas.

I wouldn't say someone can't enjoy the gameplay for what it is, but I wouldn't say that others should be taking this game to heart when it comes to the lore. It's very contradicting and makes no sense to the official lore they claim to base things off of. Because things don't make sense, that should be reason enough to not take it officially, as I stated before. Especially when it comes to the characterizations.

Then it brings the question, well why is it this way then, especially with a new game? All I can say is that there are certain employees that have agendas within the company who would go any lengths to force things to be their way or have people forcibly believe in what they want others to believe in. They make it painfully obvious what those agendas are from time to time, such as with how they decided to make this game/the direction they decided to go with this game. I think it would be important to ask one's self why certain actions are taken despite other places stating something different when seeing these inconsistencies. What do they all lead to? What do they help? What is the purpose?

It's also important to remember that employees are human, and humans can be very sneaky or ingenuine when trying to get things their way by any means possible. Things don't make sense, and I believe that should be remembered. People were so desperate to change history, change the lore, that they lied to the people on several occasions just to pass their behavior on these changes before anything can be done about them. The animation for this game is also a sign of that because there are important individuals missing from the credits of the animation that should be included at all times for any creation of things for the IPs' medias within the SEGA company.

All in all, that is my statement on things. Again, I wouldn't take these changes or Shadow's game as official in any shape or form. Changes were made when there wasn't supposed to be any and lies were said to cover it up until it reached the consumer. I wouldn't say that someone who would go those lengths just to forcibly change history into what they personally want it to be despite the contradictions, is someone to trust or take their word for on things. I would personally wish to encourage others to take a step back and think a bit more on the situation and how they show themselves to be hypocrites and liars in the public without batting an eye.

What do you think how it is going to be sonic x shadows generations?

I wouldn't hold my hopes up about it. It seems that the only good thing about this game is the title and the merchandise that comes with it. Other than that, it seems that Western employees made a mess of it to the point they just added in random lore that makes no sense or certain narratives to push their interpretation of things onto others.

I also wouldn't be hopeful of it since they lied about the game being a port and changed things that weren't needed to be changed in the first place. A port means that things are copied and pasted onto another system. Some graphic enhancement might be done, like with Sonic Colors Ultimate, but that doesn't mean that whole dialogue and scenes are supposed to change. That's not a port, and changing things to that degree isn't a faithful remaster either.

I wouldn't be hopeful about the story either. It sems to be very out of character, inconsistent, just trying to be a copy of other standard or cliche stories and filled with fanfiction. I wouldn't recommend people playing it... but that's my opinion.

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straykidsworldwild · 4 years ago

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Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 1 : MC is having a horrible, horrible day and she goes to the Aurora to have a drink.

(⚠️Sad. Some swearing ⚠️)

_____________________________________________

Heyy guys!! Here's a little Phil Hawkins one shot part 1 because there's not enough Duskwood imagines 🙈

(pictures aren't mines but I made the collage and the character aren't mines. All rights go to Duskwood creators and owners of the pics.)

----------------------------------------------------------

My day was total crap... I don't believe I've had such a horrible day before. Or at least, not for a long time... It feels like everything is falling apart little by little. Like nothing is meant to go normally. I woke up like any other day, and yet, it feels like I woke up in a chaotic world where everything is meant to go wrong... Since that call, everything is going downhill...

The night has fallen which means I have officially done my day. It felt like forever... Like I am in an endless loop... And since I was meant to do the closing, my day felt even longer than usual. I just finished cleaning the little restaurant I worked at and closed it. It's not a job I would want to do my whole life, even though it is nice to work in a restaurant, but I need money to pay for my college study. My mom is helping pay for them, but I'm trying to pay as much as I can on my own. Anyway... I am walking in the streets of Duskwood which are beamed by the streetlights. It is surprisingly emptier than usual. I guess it's due to the rain... Like my day wasn't cloudy enough already... I think I need a break... Yeah... I need a drink...

I walk toward a familiar building, some greenish-blueish light lightening the area. Aurora... The famous bar of Duskwood owned by my best friend's brother. I've rarely been there alone... Usually I go with the rest of the group. But I really need... Ugh... Maybe I should just go home? Isn't it too late to go there anyway? Ugh... I'm asking myself too many questions. I guess a drink really won't hurt. I reach the door before falling face to face with a sign. CLOSED. Great... I sigh disappointed as I am standing under the rain. Oh... But he is still here. Through the window, I can see a familiar figure cleaning the place. Oh well, I'm neither here nor there... I lift my hand and knock on the door of the bar. The man turned around as I got his attention. I cross my arms over my chest and notice that the rain has already soaked my hair and my vest. I must look awful... The man comes up to the door and opens it for me.

- Gorgeous! Come in before you catch a cold, tells me, the man, using that nickname he always does. I don't know why he does it... I never heard him calling other girls like this. Well, he does use pet names but not this specific one. I step in the bar and he closes the door behind me. You know I love you very much but I'm about to close so... He begins to tell me with his famous smirk despite the little fatigue I can see on his face. His hair is held up in a bun as he usually does when he works. He is wearing a white shirt, letting his huge tattoo on his neck appear, and a black trousers. By the sight of his eyes, I can tell he had a long day too...

- I just need one drink, Phil, I simply answer to my friend. My voice sounded so... Tired and flat. Phil looks at me with a slight surprise, losing slowly his smile. I guess the sound of my voice surprised him. Please... I plead to him with the same tone.

- I would never say "no" to my favorite customer, would I? He answers with a smirk. I faintly smile back at him, happy that finally something goes well. For now... He could have said "no". The two of us walk over to the bar and I sit on a stool while he goes behind the counter. We're alone in the bar since he was about to close so it's pretty quiet. The usual I guess, he tells me with his deep and calm voice.

- Actually... Whiskey. Pure, I reply, stopping him in his momentum. Phil looks back at me for a second, processing my words.

- Wow, I knew you had that wild part in you, Gorgeous, but I didn't think I would ever see it, he tells me with a surprised tone again. Yet, he doesn't seem to dislike it. Phil gets two glasses and he pours a little bit of the beverage in the glasses.

- A little more, please... I tell him with the same flat and tired voice. I stop myself from letting a long sigh out. Again, I feel his eyes burning me before he pours a little more alcohol. Thanks, I thank him.

- On the house, he tells me, leaning against the counter as he raises his glass. I was about to retort but he gave me a look, telling me he won't change his mind.

- Double thanks, I thank him again, clinking my glass with him before taking a sip. Argh... That tastes awful! I can feel the liquid burning my throat.

- So... I know I act like I am very happy to see you, which is the case, don't get me wrong, Gorgeous, he begins to tell me before rapidly correcting himself. But I also see that you're not fine, MC, Oh... I look down as I take a deep breath in. It must not be very hard to see I had a bad day then... Usually I can hide it pretty well... But right now. It's too deep, too much. I'm not even sure "bad" is a strong enough word to describe how crappy my day was. What's wrong? He asks me, sounding calm, gentle and interested, yet, with a point of concern.

- I'm okay, Phil, I softly respond to my friend while slowly shaking my head negatively.

- Mmh... This "I'm okay" sounded more like a "I'm-not-okay-but-I-am-putting-a-brave-face-on". Like a hidden call for help, he tells me gently, yet, seriously. His deep voice is just so... Irresistible, and always so calm. Who could resist it? Well... I guess at this moment I can. My mind is too bothered and busy right now. I crack a very faint smile before looking down at my glass again. I take a sip of it and lightly grimace to the taste of the drink. Who hurt you? He asks me seriously as he takes a cigarette and the lighter. Who… Why someone and not something?

- It's not about me, I respond in a whisper, lying to him. I hate talking about myself when I'm down. I don't want to bother people with my problems... I don't want to be the one to bring negative vibes. Oh no... I turn lightly my head to the side as I feel the tears coming up. I need a break... I need to break.

- Lie, he simply says. I don't look at him and I don't contradict him either. What happened? He asks again with seriousness, not letting this subject aside. I don't answer again. I can feel a lump in my throat. The tears are thick in my eyes and threatening to fall at any time now. MC, talk to me. I'm not here to judge you or... I hide my face even more as I can't stop myself from grimacing sadly. I can't take it... I let a sob out accidentally as if my body is talking for myself. I want to scream. But I can't... MC... He calls me with concern. Phil puts down his cigarette and walks around the counter to join my sides. I don't move and keep my back to him. I hate when people see me crying... Phil puts his hand on my shoulder so I could face him but I push it away, not too harshly, but not too gently either. I let another sob out as I closed my eyes. The tears are so thick and warm... There's so much emotion in them. They roll down my cheeks regularly, evacuating my pain. Without saying a word, I feel a pair of arms holding me. A chest lays against my back. My hair was all wet... His shirt must be wet too by now. It's okay, MC, I hear him whispering. I should push him away. I know how Phil is with girls... Isn't it too easy to cry in front of him and him then being too nice? I know he is my friend and my best friend's brother, but... God, I'm lost. Usually I go to Jessy or I call her. But I came here... Why? Ugh...

- I'm sorry... I whisper shakily through my sobs. I came for a drink and I ended up breaking in front of him...

- No, it's okay. Get it out, he says with a comforting and calm tone. It actually sounds weird coming from him... I know Phil for a few years and he was never like this. I mean, he is always calm but caring like this? That's rare... More than rare. Long minutes later, I slowly calm down. I am still breathing lightly shakily but I'm not sobbing anymore. Only a few tears here and there stream down my eyes. I take a deep breath in and out before wiping my cheeks. I don't remember when was the last time I cried this much... It hurts. It hurts so much. I accumulated too much. I didn't break when mom told me about my uncle's death… I guess I didn't realize what was real and happening at the moment… Or I didn't want to believe it… That built up on my nerves and… This is the result. Slowly, I pull myself away from Phil who didn't let go of me one second. I turn around to face him, but avoid his eyes. Like I thought, the top of his shirt is all wet, letting his tattoos appear a little more on his chest. I'm still confused about what just happened... That's not me to cry in front of people like this... And that's definitely not the Phil I know. Tell me what's wrong, Gorgeous, he says seriously, still wanting to know what got me in such a state. He never gives up...

- Everything, I answer back, my voice lightly breaking. I wipe my cheeks again as I clear my throat. To begin with, when I woke up this morning, I learned that my uncle had passed away during the night. He drove a truck from a country to another and... I explain to him, confessing the terrible news that started this awful day of mine. However, I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence. I bring my hand over my heart and press on it as if it would take the pain away. Since the call... Just saying those words hurts just as much as saying them in my head. If not more...

- I'm sorry to hear that, he apologizes sincerely.

- Me too... Thanks... But that's not it, I thank him with a sad tone before lightly sniffling. After receiving my mom's call to tell me this awful news, I went to work today because I couldn't stay home. I needed to get my mind busy and to... Not think about the incident, I confess as I feel a new tear rolling down my cheek. My uncle and I were close, you know? He kind of raised me with my mom since my dad left her when she told him about me, I admit to the boy. I watch Phil frowning as he discovers a part of my life that I don't usually bring up. Why am I telling him all of this? It's not like he cares anyway... Does he? Anyway, to continue this unpleasant day, I had the pleasure to meet very unpleasant and rude customers all day long. Like this one call wasn't enough already... One of the customers said that they didn't want me as their waitress because I've got curves, some others telling me I was too long when in reality I just walked away from their table, a couple literally told me I gave them the wrong command and threw their drinks at me, and another one insulted me because there wasn't anymore sandwich like he wanted, I tell him all of this in just one single breath. Yet, you could hear how tired and hurt I am right now. I guess the death of my uncle adding this unnecessary crap was just too much at once. And to add more, my boss is cutting half my pay off because I accidentally broke a cup... A damn cup! Can this day get any worse? I finish to say as I look away, letting a heavy and shaky sight out as another tear rolls down my face. My hand is still over my heart as if I am protecting it all while trying to reject all negative emotions. Suddenly, two fingers softly come grabbing my chin and force me to lift my head up.

- Your boss is a dick, MC. Always have been, always will be, he tells me, the sound of those words sounding familiar. How many times did he already say this to me? I stopped counting... But I should listen, he is right. And f**k those customers. They're not happy? Tell them to go to another restaurant, he responds seriously. His deep voice sounds so calm despite the upset look he has on his face. Am I upsetting him or is he upset because of what happened to me today?

- Right, I kind of need to keep my job despite everything. But you can go tell them that, I respond with a small scoff, yet, trying to use sarcasm.

- Sure, give me names and faces and I'll find them, he replies playfully, yet a point of seriousness heard in his voice. I smile to his answer, appreciating his concern and protectiveness. Though, I never thought it would ever happen one day. Phil is... Not the last person I'd go to to talk but definitely not the first one either... Usually. I look away again and lightly sniffle. Phil wipes some of my tears away. His hands are so soft... It's weird. I've never seen you cry before, he whispers. I look back up at him, watching him slightly frowning. That's true... Not sure a lot of people saw me crying before either... Not even Jessy. I weakly nod before shrugging.

- How does it feel to watch a girl crying in front of you? I reply slightly playfully. Jessy's brother grabs something on the other side of the counter before handing it to me. Tissues... I take them from his hand, thanking him.

- It's painful. When it's you... It's different... Painful, he responds, taking his cigarette again. Oh... I wasn't waiting for an answer like this one. I was waiting for him to say "Can you just stop thinking for a moment?" Or "Stop crying over so little"... But none of that. I watch Phil blowing some smoke, making sure it doesn't go in my face.

- Is the womanizer Phillip Hawkins starting to be an emotional guy? I question him with a playful tone, cracking a smile. I think it's the first time today that I cracked a smile. A real one, I mean.

- No, he's the same dick, he answers, shaking his head left to right while chuckling. Oh... Of course. That would have been too surreal. I'm not going to lie, Phil is a good looking guy. His long hair, his tattoos looking so cool, his piercing, the way he dresses, his voice,... Just the way he is is attractive. The sound of his chuckle runs through my body.

- He admits it, I reply as I feel myself smiling more and more as the tears are coming to a stop. Prove it, I tell him with a daring tone. Phil leans against the counter, smirking.

- Wanna stay with me, tonight? At my place. The bed is comfy and big enough for us two, he proposes seriously to me, a point of flirt in his voice. I know he is being serious. I can hear it in his voice. And that look of his... I know girls don't refuse him generally. But I'm not them. And I don't want to end up in his bed just for one night and then nothing. That's not me... That's not who I am. That's not what I want. He can be incredibly good looking and just be his amazing self, I'll still refuse.

- I don't do one night stands, Phil, I remind him seriously.

- I know... He replies, a slight hidden note of his tone telling me he is disappointed. It's no secret that Phil has been liking me for a while. He has tried to ask me a few times before but I declined them all for... Obvious reasons. Let's do two then, he suddenly says, half joking, half serious.

- Phil! I exclaim as I chuckle.

- It's okay. I'll accept even three nights. Or more. I won't mind, Gorgeous, he continues to say, but I can tell he is joking this time. I softly laugh while shaking my head. There's that smile I love, he states, sounding satisfied with himself for making me smile. Honestly, Gorgeous, don't mind those idiots. Don't let them get to you, he advises me seriously as he finishes his whiskey.

- I don't usually. But I thought going to work was going to help me forget that awful news for a moment. I went there hoping to clear my head. I guess it was just too much today and I needed to break. Sorry it had to be you watching me like this, I answer and apologize to the boy as I take a sip of my drink. Ugh... It's the last time I take Whiskey... I lightly grimace and put the glass down.

- I'm not. If you ever have a bad day again and feel the need to talk, don't hesitate knocking on my door. Even if it's closed. It's always open for you, he tells me seriously and sincerely. Honestly, I haven't met that guy before... Where's the Phil I know?

- Thanks, Phil, I thank him before stepping down the stool. I step up twice and take him in my arms. The man envelops me back in a warm embrace, running softly his hand on my back. I pull my head away and place a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. And before you think of anything spicy, that kiss on the cheek is the farthest you'll ever have, I rapidly tell him, a point of warning in my voice, yet, using a playful tone.

- You're definitely killing me with kindness, MC. My poor heart pays dearly, he tells me with a frustrated tone before I watch him taking my glass of Whiskey. Oh... He winks and takes a sip from it. Oh yeah, drink that thing... I don't like it anyway. And I think he noticed it...

- Moh, maybe one of those girls coming here could put a bandage on it to heal it, I say with some sarcasm, yet, with some dislike heard into it. I always hated that those girls could "help" him... I mean, what do they have? What does he see in them? Before anything said, no, I'm not jealous... I just don't like him with other girls...

- They could. But will it be worth it? He answers while nodding before taking his cigarette and blowing so smoke away.

- You tell me. You're the one who can't resist "beautiful women", I reply to the man, stating his own words. Phil smiles and chuckles lightly to my comment.

- They can definitely help at a low point, he answers, agreeing. Right... Wait, at a low point?

- At a low point? What do you mean? I ask him with a confused tone.

- I can sleep with every woman that wants me. But, in the end, it will never mean anything like... Like when you're with me, he suddenly tells me, lowering his head lightly. His smile disappeared, showing seriousness. Did I hear him right? Did he just say those words? I stare at the man, confused and speechless. Me? Why...? Since when...? Ugh... He had a few drinks today, didn't he? Phil looks back up at me, but his eyes give a quick look at my lips.

- I'm sorry. I'm trying but... Are those words really coming from you or... Did you have any drinks before? I demand him seriously, yet, with a playful tone to keep a cool atmosphere. Arguing with him is the last thing I want. Phil cracks a smile but it doesn't stay long.

- I know I play a lot around with different girls. I know what you think of me. I'm a f**k boy. And I know I tried several times to get a night with you. But... It's not just a night that I want and you don't seem to see that, he replies, not denying who he is but also kind of reproaching me to not open my eyes about him. Well… How could I? If he doesn't tell me, I only see things the way I see them... I nod positively before looking down. Why do I feel a little sorry suddenly? I shouldn't... There's something different with you, MC. You're different. From all the others. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to dirty you. I don't want to play with you. I don't want to break you, he tells me gently and seriously. I slowly look back up at him and notice how close he is to me. Was he that close to me before? I can feel my heart beating like crazy down my chest. It's wrong... It feels right, but it's wrong. I know it...

- Phil... I gently whisper his name as I a look down again.

- I love you, MC, he interrupts me with his calm and deep voice. What...? I stare at him with wide eyes, surprised by the words I just heard. I didn't even know he knew how to say them… Especially while sounding sincere. He meant those words. I love you like I have never loved a woman before. And I'm not talking about loving the "pretty woman" that you are. No, I mean... He sighs. You're pretty. You're more than pretty. You're prettier than all of those girls and I am not talking just about the way you look. I just... Again, I hear Phil sighing. Despite the fast that he stays calm, I can sense some nervousness coming from him which is unusual. Phil is never nervous, especially around a woman. He is the exact opposite actually. He is pretty confident about himself. He talks easily, flirts easily… You're not a price I want to win or a pride to have f**ked in bed. You have this thing that the others don't have. You're special, he says with the same calm and slight nervous tone. Phil looks straight before him as he blows some smoke. Special... He noticed this little thing in me, which I didn't know I had…

- You really noticed that small thing in me? Because, honestly, I'm everything but special. I can assure you, I demand and tell him with a point of shiness. Wow... I didn't think I would have sounded so shy all of a sudden...

- I told you. I love you. And you know those words don't come out of my mouth easily. Actually, I don't think I ever said them to someone before, he replies seriously and gently before taking a last blow and putting out his cigarette. I stare at him, not really knowing how to react. I mean, of course it does make me feel something. There's... There are those butterflies flying in my belly. My heart is racing and my cheeks feel a little warm... Maybe a little more than a little, actually. I know I feel something for him. I can't deny it… But there's still things in the way...

- Honestly, I'm discovering another man right now. Why don't you show this side of yours to people? Pride? Male ego? I demand him with a small confused tone, yet curious.

- I am who I am, he simply answers.

- Mmh... Well, I like this Phil better, I answer him as I crack a smile. Phil looks at me and his serious face turns into a smiling one again.

- So, would you go out one night? Or during a lunch break? He proposes to me, hope heard in his voice. Oh... Well... I know your days are long and I work at night too so it'll be short but... He tells me gently, reminding us of our busy lives. Right, there's not a lot of moments where we can meet… But do I want to meet him like this? I mean, yes, I want to but… Do I want to get in something like this? In an uncertain relationship where I'll fear he goes to see someone else to distract himself from me? Despite this side of him, he is still Phil in the end...

- If you do this to only get me in your bed... I whisper, interrupting him. I hope it's not a plan of his to get me in his bed... That'll be the worst thing he could do... Especially as being my friend first...

- I do this to win your heart. As cheesy as it sounded... Nothing more, he tells me seriously, staring into my eyes. Speechless, I stare at him as well. For once in my life, I just want to do right. Especially with you… For you… Because of you... But it's only if you want to, he responds sincerely to me, looking serious. It's actually a little disturbing. Phil has always had respect for everyone, including me. He always respected that I didn't want a one time thing… What changed?

- I don't know, I whisper, confused by the situation. It's not that I don't want to be with him nor that I don't like him. On the contrary. I love Phil. But... There's few things in the way...

- Because of my past with women? He asks me, sounding really confused that I won't accept. I'm certainly the only woman telling him "no". Especially after a few tries.

- Yes... And because of my insecure self. Look at you and look at me. You own an amazing bar, I work as a waitress with a crappy boss. You look cool and get well and easily along with people, I look like that discreet and shy girl who is nothing more than being awkward. And you're my best friend's brother. And there's the age gap, which is the least that bothers me, I tell him everything that I thought on why I don't say "yes" to him. I mean... I think he can understand where I'm coming from. I hope... I don't want to lose a friend, in a way, just because of that...

- You're perfect the way you are, MC. Nobody will take that thought out of my mind, he states seriously. I notice how his eyes are alternating from my own to my lips. They keep going up and down. He seems eager...

- Right... You said it, not me, I say with a disbelieving tone, yet a playful one while I giggle. A small smile comes on my face which keeps growing more and more. I'm not going to lie, but hearing him saying those words do something inside me.

- And I believe it, he says while nodding. He does... I stare at him for a moment, the two of us plunge into a deep silence. It's not awkward... It's intense, but not awkward. I'm just so not confident with myself. What if he is playing me? And what if he is not? Ugh… I should let go sometimes... Really... I could open doors I didn't even think I had the key of.

- Tomorrow. Meet me for lunch if you're free. We can start there to see how it goes, I propose to the man which, I notice, makes him smile instantly.

- Is it a date? He asks with a smirk. Well...

- I'm not sure... Maybe... We'll see, I reply unsure, yet, smirking back at him. Yes, I'm entering his game easily... Was it right? Though, we could hear this point of shyness in my voice.

- Will I get to finally kiss you? He then asks, slowly getting even more closer to me. Oh... I can feel my heart racing a little more, hearing it beat in my ears. He's making me so nervous… Kiss me… Is that all he wants?

- Phil... I whisper his name, annoyed, as I lightly title my head on the side.

- What? I showed you a part of me, doesn't mean the other one is gone, he answers with a not so innocent tone, still smirking at me. I keep staring at him a little annoyed despite the amused smile on my face. Alright, just lunch, he says, agreeing. I nod back positively. And a hug? He rapidly asks.

- A hug? I ask, surprised and confused. Phil winks at me. I can see he is waiting for an actual answer. Oh well... Sure. Whatever. I've got to go home. It's getting late, I agree before standing up from the stool. I didn't think but, when I stood up, my face got so close to his. At this moment, when my eyes met his, it was as if the time had stopped for a second. Slow motion. It was like I couldn't remember what reality looked like. I feel my cheeks starting to burn before I look down to hide my certainly blushing face from him. Why did I have to happen to have a crush on him? Why him? Why does he make me feel this way? I clear my throat quietly and start walking towards the door.

- Be careful on your way home. Tell me once you're there, he tells me as he follows me behind.

- I will, I reply. I was about to open the door when his hand grabbed the handle first. My fingers brushed his. I retrieve my hand and let him open the door for me. Still with my cheek lightly burning from previously, I manage to cross sight with his eyes and smile at him. Thanks for the night, the drink, holding me when I cried, and for listening to me, Phil, I thank him sincerely as I weakly nod to the man.

- You're very welcome, Gorgeous, he responds with his deep and calm voice while smiling back at him. That damn smile... Goodnight, MC, he wishes me softly.

- Goodnight, Phil, I wish him back. The two of us exchange one last look and smile before I walk out of his bar. I put my hands in my pockets and walk home.

I'm not sure what exactly happened there... I went to the bar to have a drink to relax and take my mind off and I ended up with Phil holding me when I broke down and accepting to have lunch together. Will it be a date? Will it actually go somewhere? Was he being serious? So many questions burning my mind... I will see how tomorrow goes. I'll have so much to do tomorrow, anyway... Mom is certainly going to call me for the funerals, my work is going to be tiring as always, and the lunch with Phil... I wonder what Jessy will say if she knew that her brother and I are going on a... Lunch? Date? Whatever it's called... Will she be okay with... What we're doing? Will she mind if I go out with her brother? Ugh, why do I already think of things like this? I'm not there yet... Anyway... I think I just need some sleep right now, nothing more. If I manage to actually fall asleep once I'll be home and in my bed… It promises to be a long night...

#duskwood #duskwood phil #duskwood jake #duskwood jessy #phil hawkins #duskwood richy #duskwood hannah #duskwood cleo #duskwood thomas #duskwood dan #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood app #iamjake #phil x mc #duskwood mc #multifandom #multifandomedit #edit #duskwood game

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allhailthecoffeegods · 4 years ago

Text

A lonely kitty in Gotham

Chapter 1

Tired... Marinette was extremely tired. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep but instead she sat staring at the wall of her office in her small apartment she had bought and was now living in because her parents kicked her out.

Why was she staring at the wall you may ask? Short answer, she had finally done it! She had finally tracked down Hawkmoth and Mayura after 3 years of fighting she now knew both of their identities (Gabriel Agreste and Natalie Sancoeur) and not only that but she had an entire file filled with proof. Now all that was left was to take back their miraculous and hand them over to the police (not before cursing them first... obviously).

Unfortunately it’s not going to be as easy as it sounds. You see Marinette or Nettie which she goes by now was alone, completely and utterly alone.

No Parents, no family and no friends.

Three years ago Nettie had all of the above she was happy, she had a best friend Alya and a group of many friends from her class, she had two loving but slightly distant parents who ran the most popular bakery in all of Paris possibly even France and her amazing grandmother Gina who traveled the world and told her all about the crazy things she did (some of which she promised not to tell her parents about because it may have been considered breaking the law but nothing reallllly bad).

But all of that soon changed over the first year Hawkmoth terrorised Paris with his akuma and was later joined by mayura with her sentimonsters. Slowly she lost everything including her partner in fighting crime Mr.Bug holder of the ladybug miraculous.

Nettie is in procession of not only the black cat miraculous but also forcefully became the last remaining guardian of 18 other mini gods that are bound to jewels (excluding the butterfly and peacock (not that she would ever give them up because they are basically her family now and she will do absolutely everything to protect them)). How?

Running late to class 3 years ago she saved a (very) old man (186 years old to be specific) from being hit by a car, and for some reason that was enough for him to “gift” her the black cat miraculous as he saw her true chaotic soul and aura (it didn’t matter that she was only 13 YEARS OLD!) he thought it was a brilliant idea to turn her into a child soldier fighting a war against two supervillains more than double her age.

After and introduction to the one and only God of Destruction, who by the way is OBSESSED with the stinkiest of cheeses, she became one of Paris’ main superheroes Kitty Noir alongside her partner Mr.Bug who she guessed to be around the same age as her at the time. It was easy to deduct that he was going to be more of a problem instead of a partner due to his obsessive and intense flirting and lack of skills other than some possible fencing training, all in all he didn’t have a clue how to fight. He was also apparently extremely reckless... like more reckless than her pouring 2 energy drinks into coffee before downing it and has died so many times in a fight she now also has a close relationship with tiki the God of Creation having had to end the fight herself (honestly why did the old guy pick him because it seems like he didn’t even do a similar ‘oh help save me’ situation like he had with her otherwise the old guy would already be dead!) Even though she wasn’t that much better to begin with she did have some hand to hand combat training curtesy of Gina and her ‘friends’ (let’s talk about those later). And she was now training in martial arts and going to the gym to build more muscle and become better without the enhanced supersuit just incase (she also sticks a domino mask on before transforming because she’s paranoid okay and if she is ever forced to detransform she doesn’t want anyone knowing her identity right of the bat to use against her, okay!)

Alongside that she was also extremely smart (like genius level) great with technology and quick to come up with some absolutely insane but brilliant plans. This all resulted in her taking on more of a leadership roll whilst fighting akumas. Mr.Bug only got worse as time went on and her civilian life went downhill, it took 8 months for the old man (previous guardian of the miraculous and temporary mentor for 2 of the months) to become compromised and pass the roll onto her. And the first thing she did was take the ladybug miraculous back and erase the holders (Adrien Agreste her former friend) memories of being Mr.Bug.

The only problem with that was the battle Miracle queen where master fu (the old guardian man) was compromised, and so were all 8 of her temporary heroes except Viperion, holder of the snake miraculous, who had started to tour around the world with his farther Jagged Stone) this ment there were two consequences of taking The ladybug back, the first being she was now alone against two superpowered terrorists but also that she had to switch transformations at the end of a battle to be able to purify the Akuma and cast the miraculous cure to fix everything and yes that did include... resurrection of people who died in the cross fire.

Anyways, back to how Nettie is alone. Only a few weeks after the first attack, an exchange student transferred to the the newly dumbed Akuma class *sigh*. At first she seemed nice and had and was telling the class of her interesting life, her mother was a Italian diplomat and she’s traveled the world.

But Nettie had a bad gut feeling about Lila Rossi which unfortunately was correct. On her third day in the class she started gushing over how kitty noir aka Nettie dearest (obviously unknown to everyone else) saved her from and Akuma attack and they became “best friends”, to say Nettie was left speechless and confused at the lie is an understatement.

Regrettably Nettie was unable to prove her story was a lie because how would she know said superhero didn’t save her without revealing her secret identity.

But the girl carried on creating more and more outlandish claims, such as how she saved Jagged Stones cat on a jet runway (like come on seriously what airport would allow a CHILD of even a cat to run out onto the tarmac). But pointing this out was apparently a mistake which Nettie soon discovered in the girls bathroom after class. Lila sauntered in with a sickly sweet smile that was soon dropped when Nettie refused to give into this girls bullshit.

Hence she was pinned against the wall and threatened, that if she didn’t go along with lie-la’s lies she would lose everything she loved before leaving so she wasn’t caught. Not believing her Nettie continued to point out inconsistencies and facts that contradict her story’s but no matter how much proof was presented to the class lie-la was able to turn it around (meta theory coming into her head: maybe she wasn’t affected because of the miraculous magic) and plant the idea that Nettie was a bully into all her friends heads which apparently all share one brain cell ( or so she thought until Adrien confirmed he knew they were lies to but he was taking the ‘high road’ because nobody was getting hurt, it’s definitely not like lilas ruining all there future careers by promising favours and opportunity’s that will never come and convincing them they no longer need to put in any effort for their futures *insert eye-roll* ).

So life continued and her friends started to turn on little Nettie the scattered brained, clumsy girl who bent over backwards to protect and make sure they were all happy. It hurt more than words could describe the day Alya her BEST FRIEND led the class to turn their backs on her and declare they no longer want to be friends with a jealous bully anymore.

Luckily Nettie wasn’t akumatised but she came very close to it. The only things keeping her going were her duty to Paris and her family.

But as a consequence to that good luck, bad luck hit like a truck. She didn’t know for a few weeks until a guy named Jason called her parents to inform them that her favourite person in the whole world her amazing grandmother Gina had passed away in a accident somewhere in the United States. And if that wasn’t bad enough Lila also managed to place a seed of doubt in her parents around the same time. Life fucking sucked. She wasn’t able to process and grieve due to Hawkfuck still being around so instead she threw herself into creating her own business (NeTi Designs) doing commissions, did I mention she’s a talented fashion designer... no, well now you know. As well as diving head first into a very thorough investigation on mothfucker in between fighting Akuma, helping in the bakery, plus training and patrolling the city of lights for two hours each night.

Atleast she didn’t have to make excuses to not hang out with her ex-friends anymore heh heh *cough*.

Eventually this resulted in her parents questioning her on her disappearances from her room after randomly checking in one night while she was out patrolling and the conversation sort of went like this.

“Marinette, where have you been?! I just checked your balcony and you weren’t up their. It’s 2am” Sabine exclaimed when she dropped back onto her bed moments after detransforming. “Mamma I swear I was up there and I fell asleep in the corner near my pillows behind the deck chair. I just woke up from the cold and I thought I herd movement and panicked because ‘oh my gosh!’ Is it an Akuma but it wasn’t it was you mamma” Nettie responded with dramatic waving of her hands and a fake smile.

Sabine was NOT impressed and most certainly knew it was a lie but it was 2am and she couldn’t deal with this right now so she glared at her daughter whilst leaving her room through the trapdoor.

This continued for two weeks with both her parents randomly checking in. Nettie had to eventually relocate her research into a small apartment a few streets away from the library (which she paid for with commission money that nobody but her knew about especially since her business was doing well and she didn’t put it past her class to try and destroy that if they ever found out) and say she was studying to not be caught doing deep background checks on all her suspects, making files for every Akuma and tracking the butterfly’s on a app she created that has multiple resources available to the public ranging from an alert for attacks that can be activated all the way to videos she made in her hero persona showing things such as meditation or basic self defence that should only be used if they’re unable to get to a safe area away from the Akuma or to buy time to then get away depending on the powers of said Akuma. (Could also be useful in regular crimes like attempts at mugging)

This lead to longer disappearances to the point all her stuff that had any value to her or was related to business and miraculous matters (so basically everything) she was practically living there already. Not that she realised since she got maybe 5-6 hours of sleep and week? She was so enclosed in her little world when her parents decided they had enough (after multiple accusations of her sleeping around with older men and doing drugs (all tests came back negative because her choice of drug was caffeine) which where definitely lilas doing) her parents yelled at her to get out and never come back... so she did the only thing she had to grab where her pillows and fairy lights and she was out of the door, the situation was dubbed a future Nettie problem because ya know suppressing your emotions so the world doesn’t end.

(Authors note: I have plans on making this a series. Hope you guys like it 🙃)

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #chaotic marinette #sleep deprived thoughts #timmari #tim drake #batfam #batman #red robin #red hood #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #mlb fandom #mlb x batman

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