#since i dont draw so it doesnt get as much attention

[firefighting-idiot]

Work is so boring I might actually revamp the lil bio I have for my saniwa oc and post it ✌️

[halfway-house-in-hell]

vaggie valtiel redesign!!

(two alternate versions of her angelic weapon)

+ramblings under cut

-valtiel is a fallen angel who fell from heaven around the 1950s. she was heaven-born and enlisted in the angelic "army" (the one that mainly focuses in killing demons) and was an active member she failed to kill a demon she had been assigned, resulting in the death of an angel, and she was kicked out and stripped of her angelic status(including wings and also eye i guess) (i dont really have too specific of a reason why she was kicked out might change it later but all that matters is she was forcibly exiled to hell).

-she managed to sneak an angelic weapon with her to hell before she was exiled (maybw there was a trial which gave her time to prepare?? im still figuring this shit out)

-initially she was extremely distrustful of the demons, and lied about being a sinner sent to hell as she did not want to attract attention to herself (being a fallen angel in hell will guarantee you a reputation) but she began to open up when she met charlie.

-she is very closed off and a very stubborn person. after falling from heaven she took an oath to become a pacifist, something she will inevitably have to break.

-her loyalty lies first and foremost in the hotel. despite being rejected by heaven she still believes that it is a better fate and that charlie's plan is ultimately helpful

-charlie is the only person she can really open up to. they just click. when they met valtiel was hostile towards charlie, but her optimism made valtiel realise that demons weren't inherently evil and gave her hope for the future

-charlie does not know valtiel is a fallen angel

-valtiel does not plan to tell her

-charlie finds out anyways

-it starts with valtiels spear that she is forced to use to protect charlie (maybe its like,, demons often try and kidnap or harm charlie as they wish to threaten lucifer/lilith and she is an easy target)

-"hey where did you get that angelic weapon v"

-"dont worry abt it kitten"

-"ok❤️ yay❤️ wanna cover it over so it doesnt draw attention to you"

-i dont know exactly how charlie finds out valtiel is a fallen angel but i will have it soon

-if im pretending this is an animated show jtst like the real version then comedy would come from how edgy valtiel is all of the time deviantart oc ass girl (affectionate)

-her design went through the most changes since i drew it up originally she had white shorts and no red ribbons (i had to add the red from her canon design back in bc the purple was too much. v*vsiepop redesign improved by adding the red back in ..... truly shocking)

- i really hope this is all readable

[opiopal]

yall wanna know something I think abt a lot? teenage/ little sibling mc au's. Mc gets brought down to the devildom at like 15-16 yr, obviously there is zero romance and instead they just get kinned as the 8th sibling in the HOL.

you guys wanna know what else I think of a lot? little sibling Mc being an agent of chaos when their found family trope isnt paying attention.

I can't help but imagine that once mc is kinned they get crazy spoiled. not spoiled rotten but they know they can get away with a LOT because they're now seen as the cute youngest that doesnt know any better. but obviously they do since they are a teenager who knows how the world works.

and I mention the agent of chaos thing is because they were already attending highschool before hand, so they quickly notice how highschoolish RAD feels, so they were able to jump into the social ring a lot faster then regular Mc. and thus have the ability to get information from people who trust them/like them. so it ends up being useful to them. and now to my leading point: imagine a sort of friendship with Mephisto. its really more like, a symbiotic relationship. they are around each other for a reason. and that reason is RADs newpaper club.

it first started out with Mc staying after at RAD with lucifer to help with a few things, eventually Mc was put in a random room to hang out in after they did all that they could. which turned out to be the room for the newspaper club. after a while they get bored because their D.D.D died and they snagged a paper that was meant for the next day. eventually Mephisto enters the room, goes to tell them to leave which quickly they say "Dia told me I can be in here, if you have a problem with what the lord wants you could always go tell him that!" which shut him up fast. a good couple of minutes go by before the silence is broken by Mc speaking up and going, "You know, this is kinda boring." offended, he whips around, "excuse me?"

"theres nothing interesting here. interviews.. talking about things that everyone already knows about.. like, I could google half this junk." "I- well what would you know!?" "a lot actually. you dont appeal to any of the students here."

he glares for second before inhaling slowly, remembering that diavolo might be nearby.

"oh yeah? as if you could do better." "I could actually," "well i would love to hear it then."

he says sarcastically. though Mc speaks anyways.

mc adjusts how they were sitting and scans over the paper for a second.

"a gossip section would do it good." "what?" "come on dude, its non-sports club 101, if you want people to pay attention to you, you need to appeal to them. I was in theater for a while and we'd bribe people with free food if they sat through the whole show. this place loves drama. and lucifer being drawn riding on a unicorn isn't funny enough to get more then one person to buy it."

slowly they start talking a bit more casually and stop being so hostile. eventually Mc says that they could tell him the gossip they hear if he wants to make a part in the paper for said gossip. so, from then on they slip notes to him about student drama. which does indeed get more papers told!

though one day, someone pisses Mc off. not really that they were the one insulted, but they heard a few demons talking shit about their older brothers. so for the next week Mc takes a good amount of notes on those demons. which eventually they go to Mephisto with their notes and gave them to him. when he questions why these particular demons, he's met with a very angry "if those cunts want to talk shit and not mind their business then why shouldn't their own business get talked about." for a moment he wants to press further... but unfortunately for him he found himself actually caring about this human very much so he couldn't help but just want to make them feel better... and this much of a consititant story would draw people in so its totally not that he kinned this kid as well, totally!! so for about two weeks the gossip section has an ongoing story that causes nearly the whole school to get a paper to stay updated.

of course every bit of gossip uses code names to keep people from being outed on anything. and honestly some of the gossip might end up being people bringing it to the newspaper club themselves, so maybe a small confessions page ends up being opened.

obviously this is something a little cracked, and just a not very thought out thing that exists bc it makes me giggle when I'm daydreaming before I fall asleep<3 and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if there was already a gossip section in the school papers, but unfortunately I was never ever able to make it past the first few lessons of session 2 of obey me, which sucks:/

[enden-k]

btw sry to the ppl who came for fanart and get blasted w all the oc stuff LMAOOO

its nothing new but i fell out of a few fandoms, gnshn mainly. due to all the ongoing drama w hoyogames caused by the fandom over the stupidest things (im not involved or get involved in any of that but it always happened i saw stuff here and there on my tl and its just wow), then all the stupid shit hyv pulled in the past months and get away with constantly, then how extremely time consuming and demanding and repetitive everything became etcetcetc i kinda have issues with playing their games. theres jsut no energy or interest left bc all this above is kinda outweighing anything that made me enjoy it before?

(i still adore a bunch of characters and might draw some again but i really am not sure if i will get into the game itself again. im just tired and nothing keeps me there anymore tbh)

zzz is enjoyable as its v chill on time and the team behind it is a new one so the game is sm more different it rlly doesnt feel like a hoyo game anymore. hsr is also ok tho i dont always keep track w it lately, sometimes i just get a bit bored of it when theres nothing interesting baiting me into finishing story stuff lol

whaaat i mean to say is thats kinda why im not rlly doing much fanart lately??? since there was no major thing that had my constant attention and kept me drawing 1000 things at a time lately. i jump from interest to interest rn when it comes to fandom stuff and draw whenever inspo strikes i guess

rn im going back to old fandoms again and rewatching/rereading/replaying all my most favorite things for some happiness. im currently hyperfixating real bad on my fav animanga once again so i might post some doodles of that or other shows i rlly enjoyed and rewatched, maybe even fate or FF stuff again

i rlly have to say since i stopped actively playing gnshn/spending so much time with keeping up with hoyogames and do all my stuff there every single day, i feel mentally SO MUCH better and suddenly have sm good time to use for other things (also ngl i feel like having to keep up daily w those type of games/playing sm gacha turned me really stupid and impatient over the years)

i even got back to draw OCs and create a new comic again after almost 6 YEARSSSSS of not working on my own stories. im feeling really happy rn, drawing stuff that is not gnshn/hyv related be it my OCs or other things i rlly enjoy like alnst etc (its prolly also another reason why im going back to old, favorite things rn bc i wanna create for everything that is dear to me and i didnt do before bc i didnt have my artblog back then yet)

anw sorry for rambling sm LMAO i guess you can consider this some kind of an update/explanation!! OC art and mixture of hyperfixations, favorite things and whatever im into atm, NOT a gnshn only artist

[yanteetle]

hello hello there ! love your blog , your drawings are really pretty ^_^

i dont really know what to request so can i get darling finding idk donnies secret camara room that has his camera implants in their room ? srry if it doesnt make since

After discovering their dear friend-turned-maniacal-stalker's monitoring room, y/n now faces a very unexpected and unwanted confrontation...

Sorry for taking so long! Here you go, and thank you for being so patient with me! I had a little trouble getting the composition to work, but I managed to pull through for you thankfully :)) I also tried something new in here, and I hope you like it! Please do let me know if you prefer my old style over this one, I'm still quite unsure if I should stick with this since I diverted from my usual style so much for this one! Aside from that, I won't be taking anymore Donnie requests for the time being so that I can pay attention to the others! Unless it's a request I can't refuse, I will be focusing and finishing up my other requests :)

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ooooooh you got Baal and Aym now? Can you try a multi head cannon of followers Narinder, Baal and Aym reacting to the reader giving them a kiss on the lips for the first time please. The reader gn.

Kissing Baal, Aym, and Narinder for the first time

short post again since im still trying to figure out how i wanna write baal and aym... hisshiss... theres not that much on them and their dialogue is limited hisshiss side note i wanna replay cotl but i think imma wait until the update comes out and make a new save- idk we shall see!! notes: reader is gn, youre all followers, post game stuff ykyk cws: none

NARINDER

hes still warming up to affection, so he likes to be the one initiating it most of the time... so you really catch him off guard when you kiss him on the lips after returning from your mission

looks like hes blue screened as he stares at you with an intense stare, he doesnt look angry... he doesnt even look surprised.. he kind of just... stares at you with a blank look

small tail twitches let you know that you didnt break him or that he totally hated it

the scenario would be a lot different if he was the one who kissed you, likely taking advantage of any shock you show that he took the next step- teasing you for being so... silly...

yet here he is! frozen as you try to get his attention again

2/10 affection is so foreign to him and he needs to get used to it :(

BAAL

his eyes widen for a moment after you kiss him before a smile pulls itself across his face

takes it the best, may even kiss you back though i dont think he would escalate it- wont get rougher than a basic peck or use tongue, wont grab you and tug you to him... keeps it very sweet and innocent, quick and light

low purrs in his chest at his ear flicks in the air

not exactly a "goofy lover" but hes a lot more open to being.. relaxed around you and casual with affection compared to the other two cats in this post, at least when it comes to his partner

AYM

similar to narinder he stares at you, but with his eyes wide before they relax

kisses you back albeit with enough force that he might knock your teeth together... not enough to do any damage or real pain but it does take you back a bit- hes simply trying to match your energy, even if hes overdoing it a bit

might accidentally bite you too, doesnt mean to and will feel bad if he draws blood...

despite that he does fill the kiss with passion because you mean so much to him, hes not all that good with his words or being soft and tender... its a learning process and he only hopes he can get the point across to you with the kiss

[tinykonig]

König x Reader Headcanons

this is my first post!!!! im so excited!! i have had an extremely annoying day and just wanted to write these down to cheer me up a bit- hope you guys like them as well :) some of these are self indulgent so forgive me. im writing my könig fic but its taking a while since finals are upon me :/ Warnings: NSFW at the bottom, I put an indicator before :)

He is an extremely active listener. If he’s standing and you are talking to him, he has his feet pointed towards you and his head ducked down a bit so he can hear you better since he’s so tall. Nods along to whatever you say and generally has attentive body language

Remembers the smallest details from any conversation. You tell him a story about your childhood pet and months later he will casually say the pet’s name in another conversation. It always takes you off guard a little

When he realizes he likes you, he panics. Writes frantically in his journal for about 3 hours about it.

You catch on to his little crush pretty quickly, given how he lingers near you more than anyone else and gets shy at the smallest interactions

When you finally confess to him that you feel similarly he is so incredibly happy but flustered. Had to take a cold shower that night to calm himself down

Gives you little gifts all the time (one of his love languages for sure). A drawing he did, a flower he saw on the side of the road, some candy he brought from home, etc

Also collects anything you may gift him. Hoards them and protects them like they are living and breathing

Goes through them on nights when you two have to be apart. He can be extremely sentimental

If you are an artist in anyway, he is your HYPE MAN. Hangs up your drawings/poems/photographs, whatever it may be, in his little dorm room

He melts if you cook/bake him something homemade. Like seriously might get choked up. He loves the smell of baked goods, it always makes him feel right at home. You always try to bake him something on his birthday and he is over the moon about it

Protective but knows you can handle yourself most of the time. Despite his introverted nature he will defend you loudly and aggressively if he senses that it’s necessary

He loves any little weird quirks you may have. You love the smell of clean laundry? He thought it was so cute when you would sniff the shirts coming out of the dryer

OH OH OH LOVES THE THING WHERE YOU HAVE ONE HEADPHONE AND HE HAS THE OTHER AND YOU LISTEN TO THE SAME MUSIC AND JUST HANG OUT. oh man

Accidentally bumps into/knocks you with his hands or arms soooo often. He’s a big boy who doesnt quite have spatial awareness sometimes

He feels so bad everytime it happens and just cradles your face in his hands and apologizing so rapidly (it never really hurts but you like the attention so)

If you dont know german he will give you a “german word of the day” and will say it to you the entire day in context until you guess what it means

Is so excited when you guess right

Not gonna be into PDA it’s too much for him. He’s just constantly your shadow 24/7 in public. The most is having a hand on your back or shoulder so you don’t get lost in a crowd

In private however. Clingiest boy alive (his other love language is physical touch)

Lives for you laying your head on his lap. Plays with your hair or traces your features while he talks to you about his day or a book he started reading

Has the most expressive eyes in the world

I headcannon him as ginger, his hair slightly shaggy (haircuts give him anxiety so he does it himself when it starts to get in his eyes) and wavy

light freckles on his cheeks and across his nose!!!

With his blue eyes he is truly such a picture of beauty

He isn’t super weird about showing his face to you. When you start hanging out outside of work duties he doesn’t wear it, and appreciates that you dont bring attention to it

Sometimes you make a little comment about him being pretty and his face is on FIRE but he just quietly says thank you and has a little smile on his face

Compliments you shyly but often, will not make eye contact with you when he says it

Writes you super heartfelt notes that he will leave you to find because he can better express himself that way

Don’t get me wrong though he has his moments where he can be very very cocky!!

For example: right after a successful mission when he is still riding the adrenaline rush, he is much touchier with you even in front of others

If you need him to reach something he loves that and gets a little power trip. Teases you and makes you jump to get it from him a bit

If he notices that he made YOU blush, wooo boy he loves to tease you. “Did you like that, hmm?”, with a sickly sweet smile

NSFW BELOW

The first time was extremely soft and slow and sweet. He was very eager but very unsure of himself. Didn’t know where to put his hands. You had to guide him and reassure him and he didn’t last very long but it was sweet

He whimpered the entire time

After that, he slowly gains confidence and learns what works for you two

Still likes for you to be in control mostly, with rare soft dom moments

Will try almost anything once!!

Loves praise. Too insecure for degradation and absolutely can’t degrade you either

Loves to eat pussy sooooo much… You have a bad day? He’s on his knees in the shower with one of you thighs on his shoulder. Its your birthday? He got you like 9 presents but the finale is cumming on his tongue 4 times

He fucking growls sometimes when he’s overstimulated and its the greatest thing to grace your ears

Says “I love you” like a chant when he’s cumming in you

Wants to see your face the whole time

Ironically he is great at making eye contact in the bedroom

He has the sexiest thighs in the world

[jubiilee13]

I am begging for jealous Mike either angsty or fluff

But just imagine him pouting because we are focused on Abby and he wants our attention

But angst hes suddenly back to when the house was hollow and his parents barely uttered a word to him

YEA YEA YEA YEA NOW WERE TALKING OMG

this literally made me emotional writing it my poor pookie bear hes so wifey he doesnt deserve that

this is not proof read so it may be a bit ass so sorry

love you anon 😍

—

It was summer break for Abby, and by this point you and Mike had been dating for a few months.

Mike was… clingy to say the very least.

Not that you minded of course, you thought it was quite cute when he clung to your side at every oppurtunity.

It did interfere at times however...

Now was one of those times.

You sat beside abby at her desk, listening carefully as she explained each little bit of her drawing which was currently in progress.

A gentle smile formed on your lips, and you watched her carefully, your hand combing through her hair as she works.

She continued her rambles, and you cant help but chuckle at her eagerness.

A knock on abbys door tears you from your thoughts, yet abby doesn't flinch, continuing her work as you gently pat her back, telling her you'll be back in a moment.

When you open the door, you meet mikes tired gaze, and you frown a bit, stepping out and closing the door behind you. (to ensure abby's masterpiece making isnt disturbed)

"You ok my darling?" your voice asks, concern evident in your tone.

Mike nods, but it is hesitant, and he immediately begins to ramble nervously "it-its stupid nevermind" he whispers, sounding almost embarrassed as he turns on his heel to leave.

Your gentle hand reaches out to grab his own, eyebrows furrowing with concern.

"Its not stupid, talk to me mike, im here to listen" You say, your grasp on his arm gentle, yet enough to cause him to break.

He lets out a quiet sob, and you dont hesitate to pull him into your arms.

"Hey hey hey im here mike, im here, talk to me, ive got you" you say gently, one hand combing through his hair as he cries into your shoulder.

You let him cry, leading him to the living room couch where he rests his head on your shoulder as he sniffles.

"You wanna talk about it" you mumble, still caressing his hair

He nods softly, taking a few deep breaths to compose himself before he begins to speak.

"I-i- i wasnt g-given much attention as a kid... after garret a-after all my... my mom and d-dad were too wrapped u-up in their grief to... to care... there were nights w-when i had to cook my o-own dinner... i-i i didnt even know how... but burnt food was b-better than starving. even before the w-whole garret thing, he was t-their golden child" he says, taking in another shaky breath as he continues.

"Ever... ever since i started dating y-you... i felt... i felt loved... cared for... but s-sometimes i get... scared that... one day you'll just... stop caring. I-i mean you love abby s-so much- and i d-do too dont get m-me wrong... its s-stupid i know but s-some days i get scared abby w-will be just like garret... and you'll leave me like they did" he whispers, a bit embarassed by his jealousy of his younger sister.

Your face softens, and you pull away to cup his face with your gentle hands.

"Your problems are not stupid, and i love you so much mike, more than i think words can even portray, i will never, and i mean NEVER stop caring about you, you are my sun, moon, and stars, you know that?" you say gently, a smile on your face as you wipe any stray tears that escape his beautiful eyes.

"Im sorry it seems like ive been neglecting you for abby, that girl is just the sweetest and shes like a daughter to me, but never will i ever stop caring for you over her" you say eyes never leaving his own

he sniffles again, and another wave of tears takes over him as he engulfs you in his arms now, body shaking as you comfort him.

The two of you would be ok

It takes time to heal, but deep down mike knew that he had found a keeper, and he wouldnt want to heal with anyone else but you

[theresivy]

PLEASE HELP: SIGNAL B*OST, D*NATE, OR C*MMISSION ME!!

Listed below are the TL;DR, How to Help, and Full story/Context. I’m sorry I had to resort to this but i have no other choice.

TL;DR version

Please help a mentally disabled fan artist’s family to pay for medical debts for c*ncer, insulin, maintenance meds (for depression, anxiety, etc), and cat food

How to Help

D*nations!!! - I only have P*yPal (also thru K*-fi) and GC*sh! Please dm me for the link or QR code

C*mmission me!!! - I really hate asking for help with nothing to give in return, so preferably please c*mmission me. I havent updated my new set of c*mmission sheet samples BUT heres a short, quick version attached on my post as a pic.

B*y my let-go collection of merchandise!!! (PH-based only please and sorry) - In order to try and make up for the em*tional ab*se me and my mom have to go thru on a daily basis just by living with dad, I ended up in a downward spiral and tried to buy things impulsively since 2020. So, now, we’re paying the price and I have been deeply regretting it ever since. So, plsase please please help buy my palugi (selling for a loss) let-go merchandise, theyre mostly official and am selling for a loss, we badly need the space and especially the funds. Weve only sold less than a half of my stock and it doesnt help that my dad keeps mocking me about it.

Share and S*gnal boost!!! - Tumblr is the only site where i have somewhat of an audience. Please please please help reblog, share, and signal boost.

Full Story/Context

Hi, I’m Theresivy (Teh-reese-ivy), I have been depressed and mentally impaired (among other things) who draws art as a multifandom self-taught fan artist, As of 2020 my mom’s tumor has turned into cancer that has only been given medical attention to in 2022 onwards. And as of then, i have indefinitely become a N,E.E.T for my mom and our finance’s sake while being there by her side. As of now she has gone through FOUR surgeries because more and more unexpected complications keep popping up. She doesnt deserve this, why couldnt it have been me,

We live with my emotionally abusive and manipulative dad (her husband) and our two fur daughters Pancake and Waffles (of which my cats and mom mean more than the world to me) while being forced to live in one of the countless apartment complexes my equally abuse maternal uncle (and his wife, my maternal A-I-L) as we have no other choice. And as such, my dad has been kissing their asses since we were forced to move here more than five years ago.

Both my uncle and my A-I-L took it upon themselves to become the defacto head of my maternal family ever since my maternal grandmother passed just because he became rich thru the means of evil entrepreneur practices. We cant do anything lest we want to get kicked and live on the streets. He is a real-life mastermind as he is always a few steps ahead of us, even making it so that his eldest daughter became his perfect pawn of being his personal lawyer. He always has connections and to them we are merely insects.

My parents and the rest of our family dont really see “artist” as anything that could get money rolling in (and day by day my failed attemptes have been proving them right), and on top of that, they see me being depressed and such as being the “freeloading couch potato”. So they keep bringing up how much of a failure I am. Weve been living in such toxic conditions that my mom has developed this sort of stockholm syndrome type relationship with my dad, and her younger brother (my uncle), and his wife (my A-I-L, her S-I-L). At first i thought i could try and save mom but shes too far gone that she strictly forbids me from fending for myself whenever either of the three try to berate me and drive me to tears and breaking down for the fifth time every week.

All i wish now is to be able to pay back at least some of the debt, for my mom and my fur daughters’ sake, and hopefully my own. I have been in a downwards spiral ever since i have been tolerating being the “odd one out” kid from school. in general, and even in the family, its been literal years and my entire life, im tired of being used and tossed to the side, im tired of being the punching bag of a cosmic joke, and im tired of my disabilities. im tired of being useless to the people i care for the most. so please. help us.

My wish now is to be able to help mom and our fur daughters move away from our domestic ab*sers. everything is an endless spiral of dead ends and im sick of it. ive been self sabotaging for years but a small part of me still has hope, please. i dont want to believe that this is where it ends for us. in this world of darkness and cruelty that spits on our faces, only my mom and our fur daughters have shown me the smallest glimpse of happiness. and even then ive failed them by becoming a barely functioning patient of depression. so, please, dont take my sunshines away.

[ilovejoll]

I have had no thoughts but Joll in my head for the last few days, and your art of them is so good its blowing my mind. Do you have any ideas about them you'd like to share?

YEYEYYESS MY DISEASE IS SPREADDINGGG they and another ship that’s oc x canon has ALL I’ve been able to think about these past 2 months omggggg. I’m glad u like my art btw… I LOVEE drawing them so much… I have a bunch of wips and ideas that I haven’t finished drawing yet but them both being secondary antagonists (and also kinda … throw away characters…………) makes them a good pair……… heh…… anyway uh I steer away from canon kind of when thinking of these two cus like realistically (and sadly) they’ve only interacted like once but haven’t spoken to one another BUT YK IDC. I believe that they’re both probably extremely touch deprived.like. EXTREMELY. And doll probably feels like she’s allergic to any kind of physical affection that’s too touchy while J acts like she doesn’t like it while also YEARNING for some. Their main way to show affection is probably handholding or bumping foreheads… I like to think J holds dolls face a lot.like cradling her face in her hands and pressing her forehead against the others. I ALSO THINK DOLL WOULD PICK AT HER MISSING EYE WHENEVER SHE DOESNT HAVE THE EYEPATCH ON and j doesn’t like that she’d stop her immediately. I have this hc that j feels most safe sleeping like a bat with her wings cocooned around her, she’d hold doll against her chest while they both sleep DOLL WOULDNT LIKE BEING UPSIDE DOWN LIKE THAT but since j feels safest in that position she wouldn’t protest much. Also. J. Definitely. DEFINITELY. Likes stuffed animals. And I like to think doll’s parents (before they died) would give her a bunch of dolls ans stuffed toys that she really doesn’t feel the need to have anymore so once she finds out J likes toys she’d let her hold them or even keep some if she wants them that bad. J in my mind is a goddamn cuddle bug she will put her face in dolls head and have her arms around her waist just because she wants to feel closer and of course she’d want to cuddle and stuff.if doll pays attention to anything that’s not her during a cuddle session or wants to get up j’ll het irritated “WE’RE NOT DONEEE lie down” or “why’s that book more important than me” type stuff. J IS ALWAYS TRYING TO WORK and doll is sometimes always tense so she’d take advantage of these opportunities to relax.doll finds it cute on how j always acts like she doesn’t like or want the affection and would hug or hold her hand randomly just to fluster her it always works.s i like to also think j is kinda protective . I DONT WANT THISTO GET TOO LONGSOS THATS IT FOR NOW WWOMA

[emmetofthestars]

ok lets see how far i can go. im gonna startt. kim just gonna start.

fair warning this will either seem like incoherent rambling because my thoughts are hard to formulate or just me wanting to be rude about the sequels past we love katamari despite never playing them (i wrote this line after i finished the whole post)

anyways im about to list alot of king's outfits over the games and then rate them on 1) whether i like them personally (partly removed from context), and 2) whether i think they actually fit king. im doing this for absolutely no fucking reason and honestly im scared ill be very wrong or biased but im mnot being paid to do this for gods sakes im writign a tumblr post. i wont get cancelled for getting king incorrect. anyways

katamari damacy

(im probably going to switch between using game screenshots and transparent images)

1#: yeah i like it. he looks stupid and i like it. the cape and whatever the collar is called, in combo with the chain and gold accessories looks so silly. he doesnt look like a king besides the crown. he looks like he wants to be cool but doesnt know what that means but he knows nobody will question it cuz hes the king after all.

headdress: perfectly over-loaded. you have way too much going on. you dont need those blinking lights. and you really dont need those patterns and colors. can i try it on

2#: well its hard to say since this is the first one. and of course the first one fits him cuz. its the first one. but i think it gets his impression off very well. its a prussian blue v neck and a golden chain, with sort of maroon tights and a golden belt with the face of a lioness. bracelets and rings, and of course the triangle ruffle collar and purple flower pattern cape. its a mixed warddrobe, kind of silly, i think it works well with how you cant really take him seriously, too. rude and hurtful, yet also he. dresses like this. a kings crown, cape and collar, but his personal style underneath it. also expresses how he may be king, but hes not really taking that as being his role - rather, being himself means to be king. or being king is like, a side thing, not as important as just doing what he wants. maybe a bit of a reach, dont know if i managed to explain what im feeling properly... also, his actual clothing besides his headress isnt actually complicated, which is an interesting contrast. you would think he wants you to pay attention to his face, and not his body. he is egotistical, it makes sense that he wants you to look at him and pay attention to him in general, but the emphasis on his face is interesting.

headdress: absolutely fits. very extravagant in a way that works. the colors arent bright as hell either, which im glad they did because if they were neon and too flashy itd look too obnoxious. well itd look bad but also hes not about exactly "standing out". he loves attention, but he still has his style, and that style IS colorful, but not neon. i think it fits him well, it teeters on being over the top and subtle at the same time, like complex embroideries perhaps

we love katamari

1#: also like it. has the same color scheme of blue top and magenta purplish bottoms. though here its a bit less saturated and lighter in color. the flowers on the sleeves are a nice touch since hes no longer wearing his flower cape, and the golden ankle ring, as hes wearing nothing on his hands but his wedding ring.

headdress: neat!! i like this more than katamari damacy, but just because its kind of cute. well i like them both, but this one is easier to draw (lol) and the color scheme is nice. the lights are now flashing from the spaces of color, instead of looking like round lightbulbs, if that makes sense, and it seems more casual this way, somehow.

2#: it kinda fucks me up. but judging king in we love katamari, from how different he is compared to katamari damacy, this outfit seems kind of perfect to showcase how (almost eerily) laid back he seems to be in we love. his ruffle collar is now smoothed out, its wiggly instead of sharp. hes wearing a very wide sleeve light cyan top, a purplish flower on each sleeve, with a squiggly cut on the lapel, open to reveal his chest and a golden chain, with a piece that looks perhaps like a flower attached to it. he now has a band wrapped around his waist instead of the golden belt, with a golden lioness head piece holding it in place. lighter wine color tights. its so- i dont know. king starts off obviously excited at the fanbase and attention hes getting, so its curious he puts down the iconic outfit and gets into something so comfortable. he wants to stand out less, all of a sudden. its still very much a king outfit, but he dropped so much, i wonder why. hes laying back as usual to let prince do his work but hes really leaning into it now. not just that, but he seems almost less hurtful than katamari damacy. more open. hes still full of himself, but its toned down, muted. his occasional interjections talking about his childhood and papa are offputting in the sense that its unusual. and this outfit is unusual, too, in comparison. katamari damacys impression is that hes pompous but a bit silly (and also just a dick), we love katamaris impression is that hes egoistic- but aimless. he seems more forgetful and more lost in thought. the cape missing could also be symbolic of his openness, even if a bit cheesy. i noted that his cape might also hold some emotional weight similar to the crown, but thats based on my feelings.

headdress: reflects the casuality. its got a smaller color palette now, less patterns, and more flat spaces of color. reminds more of his headdress patterns in his childhood. its also longer now, but i dont have anything to add for that.

me & my katamari

this is where i start to get a bit iffy in general. the games are no longer directed by keita, and king doesnt actually progress any. he stays the same or changes purely because different people are writing his dialouge. me & my katamari seems to have no story otherwise, or cutscenes, even - so from here on i suppose i do get biased but there isnt much character to go off of. however- i did not play any of the games besides the first two, so i am watching gameplays.

1#: i think its alright. i dont really like the combo of colors, it feels weird with the super yellow thin cape, but it is a swimsuit style thing. i wish they changed the collar, though, or outright removed it. it feels wrong to be in there.

headdress: ehh too neon, doesnt help with colors.

2#: this is. alright, its ok. the swimsuit is relatively simple too, thought the yellow cape doesnt seem like something hed wear, especially since its supposed to be a swimsuit- a cape would make it very hard to swim, though kings zaniness could get him to wear a cape if it means looks over functionality. it isnt his normal cape of course, though im a bit sad the flower pattern is entirely missing here, or even a hint of it. instead its a swimsuit.. something... with wine and orange, and what looks like a necklace. its not a necklace exactly, but i dont know the name for this. its also got a lioness head. i dont really get the golden armband around his left arm, but eh. i think its passable overall but straying further from kings personality, though given he is just like. having a splash and having fun. and it is skin tight, which isnt really that important, but its not swimming boxers or something. swimming suit still with a touch of decency. i guess it wouldve been repetitive if this one also had a v cut, but to continue onward from we love katamari, if it had to be real casual and open as a sort of conclusion to we love katamari, i could imagine something similar to this swimsuit, but its a one-piece that covers his legs and chest but leaves his arms free. idk though. i also added this bit in an edit, so now im starting to think about actually sitting down and redesigning it, but im uh. not able to rn. and you cant save edits as drafts. oh well.

beautiful katamari

1#: really very stupid looking. i think the sleeves and puffy pants are very funny but boy i dont like this. dont really like the colors. id try it on myself tho. again, with the wiggly collar- this straight up just doesnt change in all games after we love katamari.

headdress: meh. not a big fan. its getting a bit boring now.

2#: not sure what to say. king wouldnt wear this. its really not his style. it looks more like a jesters outfit, and the lack of shoes makes it look even stranger. the weird random opening that shows a bit of his stomach is also a bit nonsensical, alone in terms of how the hell this piece of clothing works. the pants are too puffy- stripes arent something that make sense as a pattern for him. and the whole theatrics thing, with king talking to you from behind curtains he opens up, on a stage like background, feels out of character. hes not one for theatrics (literal). he likes admiration but he performs by showing off what he can do physically, not through theater or a play. not that its said he does, but the theater bit is just weird. doesnt fit him as a character.

headdress: in combo with the outfit it just doesnt make much sense, it doesnt really harmonize. its alot of shapes and colors, but not with much consideration. the colors seem to be random. the headdress and outfit are kind of at equilibrium with how much they catch your attention. obviously the headdress is more saturated and in game it has blinking lights, but you do have to look longer at the outfit, and it kind of sticks out with how it seems like such a weird pick for him. also it is just kind of a silly looking thing. maybe im just looking too hard though.

also ill b real im just getting more mad at the gameplay. the physics are missing and the katamari feels way too fast and responsive, which is frustrating me, and the game is basically back to basics with you and king and nobody else, which makes kings lines disappointing, but once again, i handle watching a game and playing it differently, and i already have bad feelings about the sequels besides we love katamari as they arent directed by keita, and king is such a specific character. the gameplay part is irrelevant though but it is making me want to watch it less. lol.

katamari forever

1#: curious! i like this outfit, removed from context. i cant say i like it as a king outfit at all, but i just like this type of outfit. fucking. no idea what that thing hes wearing at his collar is called but i have a little soft spot for that thing. hehe. dont care that its a king outfit though.

headdress: i like the colors! its mainly blues, purples and greens, but i like it. the patterns work fine for me. still boring though.

2#: this is hard. katamari forever has a bit more substance, but the whole plot literally is that king loses his memories. though he IS wearing this before he loses his memories. he has dialouge as he has levels, but technically, roboking is the main character in this. doesnt really matter, you can choose between either of their levels at free will i believe. thissss outfit is. sssssss. i dont know. the direction its taking with the fancy dandiness isnt out of place for *a* king, but it is out of place for *the* king of all cosmos. his suit and whole shebang being so bright is incredibly juxtaposed to his comfy darker pallette of katamari damacy and we love katamari - yet hes still the same character? hes not changed. he still belittles prince for low scores and small katamaris, still pretty egotistical. his outfit doesnt reflect anything on a deeper level. if anything just reflects a change in taste, but thats really not that interesting. theres cutscenes (finally) but these say nothing as hes asleep in those cutscenes. so theres nothing more to pull out of that. his responses to low or high scores seem to be mostly the same, and rather short, to be honest. when he requests something, its also pretty short. theres not alot to take out of that.

touch my katamari

1#: scared. scared of touch my katamari. i dont like this outfit but also i just dont like kings 3d model. like i dont need to tell you his face his scary and uncanny looking. its not that bad in this image but if you see even one closeup of his face its just. uncomfortable. his collar is sharp and triangle-y again, though.

headdress: i like the hearts hehe. thats about it though. dont like the fabric overlay over the texture, was kind of unnecessary. i want to spare you from looking at a closeup of the kings face though.

2#: man i dont know bro

im also getting tired and Hooo shit look at the time. i know i shouldnt do these things but you know how it is. i dont know why i did this, to be honest, but i just felt like talking a bit. my mind is a little too full on things around the cosmic family(s) and im already thinking more about queens family. oh well. i have no idea whether to tag this. i suppose i would conclude it here, despite the indeed dry touch my katamari review... this is just my little thing for me. im sure if i tag it with the katamari tag Nothing bad will happen. im going to sleep.

extra:

THIS IS AMAZING KATAMARI not tap my katamari. you can see the edge of the title literally right there in the image but i was too distracted by their whismy.

queen ❤️

amazing katamari is just a mobile endless runner so theres no story but i will say: i like this! its cute! its simple, and a combo of the katamari damacy and we love katamari outfits. yea its not special, but its ok! though again with the collar... would've liked if they kept either one or the other collar piece. but thats about it, no deep analysis. i just think this render and art style is cute in general, so exclude this from the review. headdress is neat too. again nothing special but atleast it isnt so neon, mainly pinks purples and blues. completely taking it as being cute art though.

bonus AGAIN:

roboking. there will be no outfit review its just king but robo. hes also an entirely different character anyway so an analysis doesnt make sense. but i like that his belt looks stupid and his colors go pretty well, purple yellow blue. and that his eyes are always angled down. i just like robots. all im putting him here for is to say i think his pathetic self is entertaining and i kinda wish katamari forever was better. it couldve been good. but yeah ending this off with sad little roboking. thanks for reading. bye bye

[lizaluvsthis]

SMG4: CEO OF RIZZ

To where you needed an alternative title, "Boopkins needs some Rizz"

Person: Hey L- *gets crushed by a piano*

HGG OKAY.... SO... first off I just WOKE up. And our usual spot again is that the coffee shop keeps appearing in the episodes.

(Cough- Brewing Romance is still on the line so when you keep seeing the coffee shop getting shown by the episodes, you'll be darned to not stop thinking about Brewing Romance...)

Three and kaizo are shown, which made it very clear that some of us headcanon three as an uncle and kaizo as the nephew XD

So boopkins has a date with this famous girl and three helps boopkins get his rizz in order to achieve his restaurant getting popular.

No... NO... NOOOOOOOO PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE... PLEASE DEAR GOD- I JUST REDREW THIS MORDETWI MEME... IS THIS A F-CKING MESSAGE?

TELL ME THIS IS A COINCIDENCEEEEE *shakes the person who put it there on purpose*

I noticed the igloo...

... LUKE- LUKEEEEEEE????????????

HOW THE HELL DID I PREDICT THIS JUST BY DRAWING THREE WEARING THE CASINO OUTFIT-

There is just no way... @shygirl4991 SHAY... SHAYYYYYYY?????? THEY KNOW.... THEY'VE SEEN...

Thus... the western hat worn by four still remains there...

I somehow found this one very interesting, I mean- I wouldnt be a shock if it's miku already. Since somehow it's boopkins, and the girl he'd been the one to date are something from fictional stuffs. I never guessed miku but I guessed that it was some anime related.

Then we get- to see this...its a side to side comparisson of how four and three act alot like this when they needed something.

Here comes the begging strategy... so if you put two and two together, they ended up giving them what they wanted with the same "fine" to make that person shut up.

This also leads to how three is never that much aware that his actions in public is drawn attention that he is less destructful and is in his soft side.

Like how he did the same in SMG4 during that time before they both got stuck on an elevator? Three gave him a chance to stop his whining ass. Like he didn't even argue or straight up complained to the blue man, he just basically gave him what he wanted.

This portrays the same thing Miku does as she goes back and returns to the date she has with boopkins.

It'd be a shock if I were to say I weren't that much very cultured on anime stuff but Umaru used to be my favorite childhood show.

Its funny that miku has interests on being a fan of other animes since again- miku is a vocaloid character who sings songs out on public.

When boopkins gave out his moral lesson about "just you being you" and "you dont have to change who you are even tho you're not that much of a gigachad" or sh-t

Because we have three- WHO IS DEFINITELY DONE WITH HIS CRAP- I wouldn't be suprised to this honestly- we already know how SMG3 reacts when boopkins is there, and even with those comments about how he has beef with him about "boopkins bein a loser, he really thinks he's part of the crew"

We pretty much understand how Three isn't a much fan on fiction anime stuff or is even a weeb. Just by looks of Boopkins, he's the one who shows as an openly hearted and a very generous, loyal, kindest creature to have.

But three thinks it's a sh-t because no one else is perfect and that this doesnt matter too much at all to him since EVERYONE is broken enough already.

Which defines him as the emo person in question:

"What the hell is the meaning of life, when you know nothing ever changes shit with where we all still suffered?"

Three is just so desparate enough to run his business and would literally want its popularity get expanded for newcomers to try and welcome themselves from the cafe, mostly enough he'd do anything and EVERYTHING with this power.

That calls out for another hyperfixation.

I never have much to say in this but I somehow found the episode a bit on the neutral side between good or bad-

The episode is... well.... i dunno- interesting, but somehow with attempts on making boopkins "uncharacterize" himself to be a rizzler is weird, but this definitely shows why boopkins doesnt have that kind of rizz SMG3 has.

... *suddenly remembers SMG4 singing that gyatt to rizzler song*

AH-AHEHE-M UHH...

A-anyway- again- my point stands out that Three definitely haz rizz, and Four definitely is lying to the fact that he says he 'doesnt' during the elevator episode.

I'd think about wanting to put Three on a rizz attempt on four still XD (people are gonna go crazy on this)

[stardustedseas]

sfw lemurian form rafayel hcs, mainly about his aquarium thing under his home

i think i wanna draw a vuage blueprint of his water area as well as his size compared to a person and add it in a reblog so i can keep track of my hcs because i have the memory of a goldfish. this is also pretty canon divergent, youre referenced to be his bodyguard still once and a vuage comment that he knew you in the past and shit happened but otherwise its pretty open ended and you can imagine any backstory if anyone reads this and would like lmao

-------------<3

-he has a huge ass tank of water with sand, rocks and shit at the bottom like the ocean where he can rest under his home while in his merform if he cant/doesnt want to go to the open sea. its almost the size of his entire mansion with the water almost to the top of the ceiling, just enough room for you to go up the stairs leading to a platform where you get in. it has state of the art equipment to keep the water flowing, clean, and the perfect temp too as well as low lighting, theres also a litte area where you can look through the glass wall like an aquarium, he loves when you come over and press your hands and face to the glass like an excited kid hoping to get a glimps of him, he thinks its the cutest shit ever and will tease you for it but will be devastated if you stop

-speaking of, he likes to show off while you watch either though the glass or from the platform, doing pretty swim tricks and moves, especially if it shows how beautiful and strong his tail is. he says youre like an excited little kid seeing him (you are) but hes the one going 'bodyguard, look at this!' and doing a spin in the water LMFAO he so lame i love him sm

-he loves when you join him in the tank so much, just cuddling in the soft sand or on a smooth rock, your body resting on his bigger ones chest as he wraps his arms around you to keep you from falling/floating off with the man-made current inside. he will also curl his tail up to wrap around you sometimes. you two usually just cuddle or sleep in there since you cant swim fast enough to keep up with him or anything, but he does enjoy when you lay on his chest again and he slowly floats with the current, talking about your days or bullying eachother

-he used to have other aquatic animals in there with him but cut back when you kept paying attention to them instead of him lmao he got jealous and tossed(gently and properly released) them back into the ocean. now theres a lot fewer animals, mainly ones that help keep the waters ecosystem healthy. there are two bonded turtles that you named after rafayel and yourself (raffy jr and y/n jr) that he just cant bring himself to get rid of tho lmao you called them yalls kids and now he finds himself bringing them special snacks and making sure theyre perfectly healthy and happy, the big sap

-idk about yall but if that was me i would also take the opportunity to bully him, bringing like an apple or something and when he comes to the surface to greet you, hold out the slices and tell him to do a trick like you would a dolphin or seal. he grabs you by the leg and yanks you into the water for this. (never keep any non waterproof items on you when near the tank btw) he says that he should drown you like sirens in tales of old for this too, he is a mighty lemurian, not some stupid fish at a zoo for you to make do tricks (he is all bark and no bite, just huffy you teased him like that)

-if you dont feel like fully getting in the water, you can just sit on the platform while he rests his arms on it to keep his upper body out of the water so you can chat and kiss. be warned that if you have your legs in the water he will grab them to scare you lmfao but he will also lay his head on your lap, not caring if he gets your pants wet, just pet his hair dammit. he likes when you dont wear clothes when you visit, not even just for a sexual reasons but so when he lays his head on your legs, he can feel your skin against his cheek plus they dont get wet

-he also likes it because it feels more natural, yk? you dont wear lots of thick clothes underwater after all. if you are fully naked he would be over the moon (and flustered) but if you just have swim clothes on hes happy too, especially if you model them to look like lemurians did </3

-he def makes you traditional lemurian jewlery with sea shells and rocks and such, as well as ones that fit your style/culture :3 and you have to wear them at least everytime youre in the water with him! or he will die! even better if you wear them all the time tho

-sometimes he gets kinda melancholic, it reminds him of when you first met all those years ago and everything that has transpired since...but he tries not to dwell on it long, just glad that you two are together again now and happy. if you see him seem mopey for seemingly no reason, pls wrap yourself around his tail and bite him, it will help draw him from his sadder thoughts and into the present moment

-when he does go into the ocean he is a lot more cautious bringing you, especially if you arent the strongest swimmer(yes he bullies you for that too) he makes sure to always keep you close, preferably holding you at all times. he loves to show you his favorite things underwater though, like a group of pretty coral, some cool fish he saw hanging around, or even a cave he has claimed as his hideout

-since the ocean isnt as controlled as his tank, he makes sure you don't spend too long in there and have the proper equipment like swimming shoes and protective glasses, even if you can breath underwater, that doesnt mean the salt wont burn your eyes or you wont cut your foot on a sharp rock

-all in all he loves to be in his natural form and be with you :)

--------------<3

im probs gonna do another post where i go more into depth on what he looks like and shit, but for now i will just put the height thing and then add it again to the next post later. if you read this far, thank you! i hope you enjoyed :) im really just throwing my ideas out there to get them off my brain but if someone else can enjoy it, im happy!

[ganondoodle]

I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

[the-s1lly-corner]

hi!! Can you do slenderman hc ?? Just anything silly :33

General slenderman headcanons

Currently writing this at 5am, HOORAY! At the time of writing this we'll be driving back tomorrow.. I am NOT looking forward to an 11 hour ride- but I do wanna get home and draw since I've left my tablet behind

Notes: reader is GN, mixed post of general slenderman hcs as well as romantic stuff

CWs: canon typical violence

Standard "force of nature" creature, he exists simply because of the rules of the universe at least in my headcanon for the whole.. creepypasta thing I'm cooking. He simply is

Feeds off of fear primarily, hence why he tends to stalk before attacking

Rarely actually needs to eat, in terms of "actual physical sustenance" (which.. is flesh!), but that doesnt stop him from stringing bodies up to send the message that he wants to be left alone

He is pretty much a recluse, hardly interacts with anyone and a lot of times they dont live for long after

Can manipulate his height!

Romantically, I always imagine him being a blend of.. devoted old lover and inexperienced

Hes never dated before and hardly ever gotten close with anyone, but then way he treats you reflects how people romanticize vampires. Devoted and "fancy", for lack of better wording

OOOOOOH before I forget he occasionally indulges you, definitely a weird sight to see THE slenderman lean into something casual or even something vaguely sweet or silly

Waves at you with his tentacles to get your attention

Doesnt speak much- though he can communicate telepathically! Only "normally" speaks if hes doing the thing where he rips his face open

"Normal" voice sounds more raw and guttural compared to the telepathic one

Clingy in the sense that hes always keeping eyes on you, making sure you're doing fine and not doing anything you're not supposed to- or at least what he thinks you shouldn't do

Oddly enough it takes a lot to get him jealous- he has so much patience and hes confident that you're his

That being said it's not wise to find out what DOES get him riled up

On days where he himself cant keep an eye on you, you might see a proxy in the distance- however really they're only sent if absolutely necessary and if for some reason you cant be trusted alone (distrust, needing extra assistance, ect ect, couple of reasons)

Acts of service and words of affirmation over physical touch, hes not much of a toucher a majority of the time

No lips so kisses is just him lightly bumping where his mouth would be into your lips/cheek

You can visibly see his cheekbones raise when you get him in a good mood- hes smiling :)!

[thehopelessexception]

how can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22 (almost 24)

warning: im writing this while im on my period and eating ice cream.

i've been dissociating for what now? half a year maybe more. i dont recognize reality. i feel im floating in this sea we call society and i've been feeling the wilson of the story here. i assume everything that's happening around me is real, ofc. but that doesnt make it any less a convenient arrangement i build for myself to try to act like a real person and not freak out. i am feeling out of reality. like the part of the game where you let the sim on auto-mode. i am the sim on auto-mode. and i don't know how to stop this stage of oblivion.

to make a vague introduction, the thing with me is that im a living paradox of a full time contradiction. i am flamboyant but i hate being perceived. i like to speak up for myself but i hate people thinking about me because of it. i have my own process of how i understand things. i trust logic and i question everything. im quite skeptical over things when there's no empirical evidence. i seek for knowledge. critical thinking, data analysis and the whole stuff. i know myself. i sometimes look like i am too obnoxious, frivolous, morally corrupted (people have told me that), when i obsess over something —because i sometimes treat people like they are stupid (not my intention really)—; but probably the only thing im completely sure of is myself. i tend to be a confident person, to have an ego, to not let the guard down, to calculate every single move. and lately i am noticing myself being impulsive, insecure, nervous, weird, saying stupid shit, nonsenses, feeling small. and i don't know how to make it stop. the thing is i put my whole self-esteem backed up by my intelligence, however im not sure of anything anymore. i don't know if the reason behind not recognising myself lately is the fact i have somehow a new crush —or a new hyperfixation for that matter— or just the natural act of growing, also known as the quarter life crisis.

i have this thing where i hyperfix on random stuff, i've been like this my whole life. one of my friends even made a powerpoint of all the things i've been obsessed with over the years. and the issue here is that this things never last that much, or maybe they do? i actually never though about it. the most random ones i remember are probably me buying ice-cream cakes of this specific brand every week for two months. i also got obsessed with eating too many scrambled eggs all day every day for a very long time. then it was that turkish telenovela on an airing channel. then ofc succession, and it grew into watching every single movie kieran culkin was part of. the world cup. mbti —im intj by the way—. red white and royal blue (i watched it five times in a day), then nicholas galitzine —did yk he has a lineage that comes all the way from the romanovs?— and his entire filmography. and also politics, i got way into politics; election campaigns, follow up candidates, history, economy, the law, etc (my candidate lost tho) (we're succumbing to disgrace) (like literally we collectively, as a country, haven't had any kind of good news since then) (please help me). and etc etc. but the thing is, i also hyperfix on random people, or not so random i guess. it doesnt happen very often tho, im quite picky, but the procedure is this: i meet someone, they draw somehow my attention, i want to know everything about this person, i talk to this person a lot (medium to long term) (week to months), and then this person becomes my friend or i get bored and completely ignore them for the rest of my life and move on.

but this time is different, or im feeling it different. i find myself questioning everything i know and i was convinced of. i dont know if it has something to do with the fact that i met someone, probably the first person wise enough to make me question if i was ever correct about anything. maybe i am hyperfixating on this person, idealizing them. but it's truly amazing how much more data this person has about everything i know of. and right now i feel way too insecure, because even if this person told me they find me smart and they enjoy talking to me, i am always thinking that if i say something not completely fact-checked they'll think im stupid. it's absurd. it's a boohoo situation, i know. and it's a process im having about who am i, or what am i supposed to be. some months ago the whole context around my life changed or i think it changed? i dont know how to explain it, —i mean i know how but i would have to talk about other things not related to this (politics stuff, things happening in my country, etc). i'll probably will make a new post about it someday—. but the whole issue is, i dont know myself anymore. and everything is crumbling.

im afraid the person i build for myself it's a fraud. or doesnt exist anymore.

i remember myself at 18, and i was this marvellous whole person. independent, smart, focused, driven. that girl spent their whole days outside her house. did everything she wanted to. wasnt scared of anything. and i look at myself now and think how? the pandemic has a lot to do with it i guess, but when i first heard taylor saying that in nothing new i thought "that wont happen to me". guess what, i was wrong.

for my fellow girlies being 23 —in my experience— is exactly how they say it will be. the worst age of your life.

next month is my birthday and im pushing 24. and i have to say my life is a mess. but i dont know if i can call it a mess because it is truly a mess or because i am a complete drama queen. because people probably have worse problems than mine, and i am what you call a white girl, only poorer —and a third world country citizen—. the issue is, i am almost 24, almost 25. almost 27. ALMOST 30. and i did nothing with my life. absolutely nothing. my mom had me at 29 for god's sake.

and by nothing i mean everything i do is not enough to feel it worthy of a life well-lived. should i look for a job and work while studying just to say i am extremely occupied because i have somehow a life? just to feel something? even if that makes my stress situation and anxiety even worse? should i somehow save enough money so i can move from my parents house? even if for my whole generation it's close to impossible? is studying something i (kinda) like enough to not feel like shit about myself? i've never had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend. shoud i look for one? get myself one? even if i dont think any of that would make me happy? i dont think i know happiness as a state of mind, nor the concept of it.

i dont feel like i have many anecdotes to tell in my future. should i measure the life-worth by anecdotes? my friends feel the same way i do, but they have a more organized life. jobs, boyfriends, careers, plans for the future, one of my closest friends move to the other side of the world with her boyfriend (!) in the blink of an eye. but they aren't much happy nor they have many anecdotes either. and i dont have the money or the guts or the available friends to create any.

every day i understand fleabag a bit more.

my favourite anecdotes about my life are from when i was about 13 and 15 years, also known as the worst time of my life. i didnt appreciated it back then, probably none of us did. but when we were teens everything was possible and we didnt have a care on anything other than mundane stuff or rebellious stuff but nothing more than yelling at people, drinking and smoking weird shit (i never had weed tho). not a real responsibility. being careless, free, avoiding consequences that mattered. i think that girl hates me right now. and i am not sure if that's the feeling i should have or if it's just utterly pathetic.