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backinmyphase · 2 months ago

Text

Not the whole truth

Synopsis: You didn't know why, but Satoru Gojo was acting different than usual and not in a good way. Well, your husband was sure that you were lying to him.

Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.

Pairing: Gojo x reader, 3100 words

Series masterlist

Contains: arranged marriage, generational trauma, jujutsu clans and higher ups, much Angst, trowing up, mention of curses

I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit later than usual, I was feeling a bit sick and fitting with the chapter I threw up :') But I hope you enjoy and feel free to comment, I love to read your thoughts!

"Were you expecting a letter?"

Your husband Satoru Gojo doesn't even look at you as he speaks. Instead his face is expressionless, like a mask he was wearing. Almost like your mother.

He was acting so different from yesterday, it was scary. Did you cross a line?

"No, why? Did a letter come?"

His voice isn't heared a couple of seconds, until he spoke again. "Yeah, from your mother."

Your eyes couldn't help but widen as his words sunk in. She knew. She knew where you were. The house wasn't yours anymore, she knew. How? Since when? HOW?

Satoru's head rose and his eyes suddenly seemed so far away. Like an ocean you will never cross. Cold, like the icebergs in the Antarctica. Not like anytime you saw them before.

"Oh really?"

You kept your voice steady as you took a grape from the offered lunch of the hotel.

"Yeah, here." he slided the piece of paper across the small table to you. Your name written in the handwriting you knew so well. "Does she write you regularly?"

Your mind froze as you thought back. Yeah, she did. But not because of the reason he thought she did. Not because she was worried about her precious daughter. No, more like she worried about her hopefully grandson.

You just nodded and wanted to open the letter as his warm hand grabbed yours.

For a moment he seemed approachable. His eyes bigger than before he looked at you with almost desperation in those deep eyes.

"Are you really close with her?"

The piece of paper sank deep into your skin as you looked at him. What should you do? You couldn't let him know, your mother would kill you! But...

It was so hard when he looked at you like that.

Your hands fiddled with the piece of the paper and drew your whole attention. They were twitching. You wanted to rip them out.

"Yes, I am." the lie left your mouth like a rock falling down a mountain. Fast but not safe. "Didn't I tell you that already?"

His eyes and mind closed from you eight in front of your eyes. You could see his emotions being pushed down and his body sitting up straight.

"Well, then." he stood up to go to the bathroom. "Could you tell me later what was written inside?"

You just nodded as he left. What happened since yesterday? What did you do? How did you get in this situation?

+:★:+*━━━ A bit ago ━━━*+:★:+*

The bed was cold. So so cold. Your consciousness slowly grew as you shivered at the unexpected coldness under the covers of the big bed.

He wasn't here.

Did you wake up early than usual? Normally he would wake you by accidentally being a bit louder when he came back from his round around the town. But Satoru didn't seem in sight.

Your body had the usual heaviness it was yesterday freed from. It wasn't easy to leave the bed but you wanted to get up.

You felt terrible.

The tiredness became unreal. Why couldn't you just be well rested after that much sleep? It felt like a boulder pressed your body down and chained you to the bed. Your body seemed so lazy.

Legs heavy, you slowly made your way to the bathroom. The clock surprising you.

10:24?

That couldn't be right. No, Satoru should have showed up by that already! And you surely haven't slept that much! Right?

As you looked at your things you needed to get ready, you sighed. There it was like every morning. The hairpin of your mother, your wedding present.

Why did you even take it with you? Yes, it was pretty but the guilt that came with it was far more influence. And you didn't even use it!

It almost seemed to look at you disappointed.

Your exhaustion was really getting out of hand! Maybe you should talk to Hina's grandmother for advice against sleeping problems...

As you began to brush your teeth, you this feeling of uneasiness began to creep up your back. Slowly, like a someone was watching you. Like something will happen...

The sound of the door opening made you cough up your toothpaste.

"Er, phew! Satoru?" you called over your shoulder while washing your face.

"Yeah?"

"Did you have trouble?" you dried your face trying to get your eyes to open properly. "You're later than usual."

He kept quiet for a couple of seconds. Then he sighed. "Yeah, you could say that."

The silence after that wasn't like the silence yesterday. It was awkward, you didn't know what to say. You couldn't explain it, but he sounded different. He didn't sound like smiling.

"I'm going down to eat lunch." his voice got a bit more quiet and moved away. "I didn't get anything."

"Okay." you didn't know what was happening, but something was wrong. The comfort of yesterday wasn't seen in any corner, didn't matter how much you searched for it.

Oh, god you did something wrong, didn't you?

+:★:+*━━━ Now ━━━*+:★:+*

Your letter weighed heavy in your hand. And as you opened it, the weight only seemed to grow.

Dear daughter,

I hope this letter finds you enjoying yourself. Well, after all that's what you so desperately seem to want. You can count yourself lucky, your slip up is being forgiven. The higher ups seem to be of the opinion that you acted for the greater good and just didn't think. That you wanted to take action in the matter heir.

They expect that you will expect a child when you come back.

The luck really is on your side. They wouldn't be half as kind if they weren't aware of where you were. Your vacation isn't frowned upon, as long you don't forget why you took it.

Enjoy your days, Sincerely, your mother.

On the back was the date of your next meeting engraved. She didn't write you anything else. You felt like throwing up.

Taking action in the matter heir? Expecting a child? You weren't close to anything like that!

What would they do to you, if they find out? No, when they find out? What will your mother say?

The table full of things to eat was suddenly all grey. You didn't feel hungry anymore, even though you didn't eat much.

Tears began to form in your eyes. You couldn't help it. The reality of what you were supposed to do came crushing down on you, making no room for the lightness of yesterday.

You desperately rubbed your eyes, trying to stop the tears but it was no use.

You couldn't show yourself like this to Satoru.

Your room didn't have the thickest walls, he would hear you in the bathroom. So you moved to the bathroom for the guests that weren't staying over the night and tried to calm down.

What were you supposed to tell Satoru?

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

Satoru knew that he should have given you both letters. But there was this uneasiness in the room with all these questions.

Why did these old hags even write you?

He couldn't explain it to himself. And he wanted to open the letter so bad to find the answer. But...

He didn't want to open letters that were for you. That felt so wrong. Like he was using your trust and god he didn't want you to be mad at him again.

But did you even trust him?

If you did, why were you lying to him? You seemed to have anything but a good relationship with your mother. But when he asked you, you insisted that you did. Two times.

Your face as you looked at the letter wasn't screaming happiness. No, it was confusion and even something like fear.

Did you think you could fool him?

The mirror was fogged as he left the shower. He felt uneasy. Like he wasn't seeing something he should.

Sighing, he started to get ready. Maybe he was over thinking. Maybe you did have a good relationship with your mother. You did have meetings with her a couple of times.

Which were really long...

The meetings?

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

"You don't look well. Are you okay?"

In fact you looked like you had cried. But you didn't seem to show that to him, meaning you smiled at him like that would be a prove.

"Yeah, don't worry."

He couldn't stand this charade that you played now. But he decided to play along. "What did she write to you?"

"Oh, the usual. I should greet you from my mother. She wished us a good honeymoon and that we would enjoy our time." the laugh that followed was more than forced.

He felt his patience slipping away. "I thought she didn't like me?"

You looked at him like he was speaking another language. "I mean yeah-, but your still my husband which she respects." the fastness with wich you spoke gave you away.

You were nervous. Why were you this nervous in his presence?

"Ah."

"Are you okay?" you looked at him with a frown. "You seem on edge."

Oh and how he was on edge. Who wasn't, when they knew they were being lied to?

"Yeah, just a bit stressed." he couldn't help but look at the letter in your hands. "Have the feeling there is a curse nearby."

"A curse?" your eyes were grewing big. "Here?"

"I will look for it later." he was sure he needed some time alone after this. "We can go to the restaurant some other time, right?"

You nodded, a terrified look in your eyes. "Of course!" you stood up. "I should go to our room, I don't want to hinder your work."

"Wait."

Now or never.

"I wanted to ask you something."

You stopped. Your tense back to him. "What is it?"

"Did the higher-ups bother you with something? Regarding our marriage?" he cleared his throat. "Just curious."

You didn't look at him, just muttered a small 'No' and 'Is there anything else?'

He let you go upstairs. Now he was sure of it. You kept something from him. And this something was in those letters.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

Satoru was out for hours.

You were worried about him. He seemed so out of it this morning. And then these questions...

Was he onto something?

You couldn't afford his mistrust. Not when your whole purpose is making an heir!

That sounded so wrong.

You looked at the books on your night table he bought for you. They were all a bit different. Some a different genre. Like he wanted to make sure you had at least on book that you would like.

You hated yourself for lying to this man.

You sighed as the usual tiredness overcame you again. Grabbing a book you read. Just wanting to forget this morning.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

It was late. The moon was already up and as he went up the stairs he knew that you would already be in bed.

He canceled your reservation.

He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to ho there anymore. Not after he read what these douchbags were writing you.

Not after he knew what you kept from him.

He opened the door slowly and careful trying not to wake you. You were curled up on the bed, you seemed to shiver.

On the table next to you the second letter.

"Satoru, is that you?" your teeth were chattering.

"Yeah, it's just me."

He felt so dumb as he looked at you. So dumb for thinking you could just have a normal honeymoon, when you weren't even in love.

"Need your warmth." you sniffled. "Please?"

He was fighting with himself. He didn't want to invade your personal space, not after reading all of that. Not when you thought of it like it was your duty to-

He shivered just thinking about it.

But at the same time he didn't want you to be cold. And how could he deny his darling wife?

"I'm coming." very carefully he laid himself next to you, trying to avoid touching you, just carefully hugging you. "Is that better?"

You seemed to sleep already.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

It was so cold.

Your body felt like being pushed around, everything seemed to spin. Your hands felt frozen, like they didn't were under the covers.

Your throat was dry and something sticky seemed to make itself home in it. The force that held your eyes closed was so strong.

The spinning didn't seem to end.

Wait, a second... It didn't just feel like your body moved, it did!

With much willpower you forced your eyes to open and slowly turned around. And your blood seemed to freeze with your body.

There was Satoru sleeping but had a frown on his face. And a distance between you. But not because he moved, you were pushed back. By something you couldn't see. By infinity.

...

You forced yourself up, away from the bed. Everything started to make sense. He wasn't comfortable in your presence. After yesterday he searched for distance, even in his subconsciousness.

You were to pushy, god, why were you so pushy?!

Slowly you took steps back, trying to get away from the invisible wall that so clearly pushed you away. Almost stumbling you went into the bathroom.

01:24

Kinda ironic.

As you looked in the mirror you gasped. You looked like a corpse. Your fingers in the light even a bit blue. Panic started to rise and pushed you onte the ground.

Spit began to collect in your mouth and your stomach twisted. Your head was so heavy as you slided over to the toilet.

And then it just fell all out.

Your stomach twisting and turning, the pain slowly leaving but your eyes were burning even more.

It seemed to go for hours as you sat there. Defeated, so so powerless.

You felt disgusting.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

You didn't know how, but somehow you collected all your pieces and cleaned everything before falling onto the couch.

It was harder then the bed, but that didn't bother you anymore. The distance between you was far more important now.

He seemed to sleep so peaceful now.

He had moved since you stood up. God, now you were the one watching him sleep, you should get your act together.

But even though you were so so tired, you couldn't sleep.

Your surrounding seemed to watch you and the uneasy feeling from the morning came doubled back.

The luck really is on your side. They wouldn't be half as kind if they weren't aware of where you were.

They knew where you were. They could just come. Maybe even tomorrow. And even though you knew that would be unreasonable, the fear didn't leave.

You wanted to cry. But it was so cold.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

It was early than usual. Satoru was still sleeping as your eyes opened. Your body was heavy but the feeling of disgust with yourself made you move.

Normally you wouldn't go downstairs, you would hjust read. But you didn't want to be there when he woke up. No that would be unbearable.

So you went into the bathroom again, the crime scene of the night nowhere in sight. The hairpin waiting for you on the counter like it was ready to stab you.

A laugh escaped your lips.

Your mother really couldn't leave you alone, even now she stole herself into your thoughts.

Why were you even here?

Trying to get away from all of these curses in this hotel room, you hurried as you stepped the staircase down. You really needed a light chat with Hina's grandmother.

And some tips against bad sleeping.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

Satoru hadn't slept so bad in a long time. He turned and turned but couldn't get any good position. And he was sure that that couldn't be normal.

Normally he had a rhythm in his sleep. Get the minimum that you need and get up. He normally had to work after all.

But now his thoughts just couldn't shut up.

He woke up much later than usual. And he knew something was wrong when his six eyes were tired.

You weren't in the room.

The room was so coldly empty, his thoughts almost were silent. But only for a short time, they began to circle around the thing that was bugging him, even in his dreams.

Your lying.

And he knew he shouldn't, he knew that what he was doing was maybe much much worse than just lying but the letter from your mother was right next to him on the night table.

"Didn't I tell you that already?"

Fuck it. Maybe this was unreasonable, but he had to live with you for the rest of his life. And he hated secrets.

+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

"Oh, Mrs. Gojo you look like you didn't sleep well, is everything alright?" the sweet elderly woman looked concerned as you sat down in front of her.

"Just trouble with sleeping. Do you have any tips?"

Her concern only grew in her eyes. "Well I drink warm milk before sleeping, I can bring you a cup every evening, if you want?"

You smiled at her. "That would be lovely, thank you."

She just nodded, hesitant smiling back. "It's naturally."

She brought you a hot chocolate, while she handled the organization of the guests. Turning the pages in the guestlist she spoke again.

"Were you happy to receive the letters?"

"Oh yeah, my mother is always a surprise." you began to chuckle a bit, but it died down in your sticky throat as you realized what she has just said.

"Oh I can relate! I write Hina always a couple of letters at the same time!" the woman chuckled a bit. "But I thought the two letters were from different people?"

"Oh they were." you tried to keep your composure even though the panic mixed with lots of anger made it really hard for you.

Really Satoru?

Two letters?

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#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk satoru #jjk x reader #gojo angst #jjk #jjk gojo #arranged marriage #tw throwing up

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safetypinxtales · 1 year ago

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Together with you | Azriel

(Lonely with you pt. 2)

summary: heart break sucks. Missing your friend sucks even more. It is mind-blowing what a little open communication can do.

words: 4.1k

warnings: angst with happy ending, terrible communication at parts (sorry), mention of alcohol consumption, fluff, just general misery, neutrally described reader/no reader description, no use of y/n, dumb idiots in love

notes: so this got a lot more angsty than first anticipated, but here it is! Not sure how I feel about it, I like some parts, not so sure about others - feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

part 1

Cold. Your bed was freezing cold. And empty.

Like lying on a frozen slab of stone, utterly alone and undeniably pathetic. Just as alone and pathetic as yesterday, when you woke up on the couch in the living room. No Azriel in sight. Like he wasn’t the one to practically beg you not to leave him alone, and then he went and did that exact thing to you.

It was humiliating. You were humiliated.

And that was why you had avoided him like he was contagious for all of yesterday, burying yourself in paperwork or hiding away in the library. But your plan was far from foolproof, you’d barely made it through yesterday without seeing him, so today had to be different. If being close to you was so shameful he had to sneak away before you had a chance to wake, you would simply remove yourself from the situation and spare yourself some Gods damned dignity.

You had already written to Mor, your excuse of needing to get away from the happily mated couple for a few nights only a half lie. You were in desperate need of a good night’s rest, however that was not the most pressing issue at hand. But there was no need for her to know that. Yet. She would find out eventually, she always did, and you would be stupid to expect otherwise.

Two hours past sunrise should mean that the Valkyrie training would be full and well underway, and thus it would be safe for you to make your escape. You got the things you’d need and made your way up the stairs to one of the smaller balconies overlooking the training ring. You knew you really shouldn’t, because what good would it do? But you had to. Just a quick glance. Quietly you moved towards the railing, scanning the people below.

There he was, a thing of graceful, terrifying beauty. He seemed to be demonstrating a movement with a training sword for some of the priestesses. He moved with such fluidity, wielding the sword in his hand as if it was an extension of himself. He was like death on swift feet. A fallen angel, a dark prince.

He was beautiful.

You must have accidentally made a sound, because his head shot up and his eyes zeroed in on you. Oh Gods. The intensity in his gaze, and the increasing pressure in your chest was too much. He didn’t want you.

You staggered back, one little step and you had winnowed yourself down to the city streets. This was good, you needed to get away. He left you alone. He drew back first. You knew all of this, so why did it hurt such an unreasonable amount?

You rubbed your chest in hopes of getting rid of the tightness that seemed to have moved in there since yesterday morning, and then you set course towards the one stop you had to make before getting to Mor’s.

It had been three days since you arrived at Mor’s apartment with a paper bag filled with the sweetest, sugar-powdered pastries your favourite bakery had to offer. It had taken you both approximately 20 minutes to devour them all, after which you no longer had anything to distract your friend from digging up the truth behind your visit.

You were in love with someone who did not harbour the same feelings towards you. And you desperately needed to get away from him, to save what remained of your heart.

You had cried, drank some wine, and then cried a little more. You went back to the bakery for more pastries the next day, and the cycle repeated.

The crisp, early-spring wind was a menace today as you were on your, now daily, pastry run. You were trying to stop your hair from whipping around like a being possessed, cursing up a storm, when you heard him call your name.

You froze to the spot, like his voice was some primal command. That insufferable tightness in your chest was as present as ever as you forced yourself to put on your brave face and turned towards him.

There he was, jogging towards you, his brow furrowed.

“Hey,” Azriel breathed as he came to a stop in front of you. His shadows swirled out in your direction, but retracted before they had a chance to reach you.

“Hi,” you mumbled back, suddenly finding the cobbled street very interesting.

He cleared his throat and took a step closer. You took one backwards. The cobblestone looks different here than in the alley by the bakery.

“I haven’t seen you in a while… you haven’t been home – at the House, I mean,” he coughed lightly. I wonder if it was made with, like, a different technique? Or maybe the stones are just differently shaped or something?

“Yeah, no, I’ve been staying with Mor for a bit.” It’s definitely mossier on the smaller streets, maybe that’s why? It just shifts the perspecti–

“Angel, please look at me.”

You didn’t want to, Gods you didn’t want to. But alas, you seemed to have no power when it came to Azriel.

Any other day, the worry swimming in those hazel eyes would have melted your heart. Today, it just hurt. “Did I do something? Is that why you… haven’t been around?”

You scoff, “No, you didn’t do anything, Azriel. It’s fine.”

“It’s obviously not fine! I haven’t seen you in days, and now you can barely look at me?” He exclaimed, exasperation clear in his voice. “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped, or made you uncomfortable – but I miss my friend,” his hands twitched where they rested at his sides, shadows swirling around him with unease.

“Oh, please,” his brows furrowed further at the dry laugh that escaped you, “Are you being serious, Az? I fell asleep in your arms, after you pleaded with me to stay with you – and then I woke up alone.” His face fell. “How do you think that feels? I mean, you must know how I feel about you!” You cursed yourself for the way your voice quivered, and that damned burning feeling behind your eyes that you were so sick of.

“What– no, I didn’t– what do you��,” he stuttered. He actually stuttered. The spymaster of the Night court couldn’t even come up with an excuse for being an ass.

“Save it. I get it – you were lonely, we’ve all been there,” you muttered, wrapping your arms around yourself, “I have to go.”

You turned back in the direction of Mor’s apartment, pastries be damned. You just had to get away.

Azriel had other plans though. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, the cool wisps of shadows snaking up your forearm. You couldn’t help the way you recoiled from his touch, how it seemed to ignite every nerve in your arm.

“Wait–,”

“NO!” A sob wracked your body. “No, just leave me alone, Az. Can’t you tell that you’re hurting me?” His face twisted in time with your words, and tears pricked your eyes. “Being around you hurts!”

His shadows were whipping violently around him, but he was as still as death itself. Something like dread and confusion were clouding his eyes.

He called after you as you walked away. But he didn’t stop you, nor did he try to follow you. And you didn’t dare look over your shoulder, too scared you might run back and give him the rest of your heart, shattered as it may be. No, instead you carried the shards in your hands, tears rolling down your cheeks, one after the other.

You weren’t sure how you were ever going to be okay.

The bedroom door creaked open, and you pulled the duvet further over your head.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Mor said in a sing-song voice. You weren’t sleeping.

“I’m not asleep,” you muttered, huffing loudly at the giggle that escaped her.

“Yeah, well, calling you a crybaby would be insensitive so I went for the next best thing.”

Her comment made the corners of your lips twitch, and you silently cursed her for always knowing how to cheer you up. You had gotten quite comfortable in your misery.

You pulled the covers down and looked over at where she stood. Your chest grew uncomfortably tight when you saw what was in her hands.

“Another one?” You asked and rolled over to face the window. You had forgotten how stubborn he was. Competitive bastard.

“Yes, and they just seem to get bigger and bigger. I like the daffodils in this one though, very spring-esque. The other ones didn’t have any daffodils,” she mused as she walked in and headed towards the far end of the room, most likely towards the dresser. It was the only surface area not currently taken up by a bouquet.

This was the sixth bouquet he’d sent. In three days. He had turned Mor’s guest room into a damn flower shop. Just being in a ten feet proximity of this room would have sent Cassian into a sneezing frenzy.

“Remember that time in Elain’s garden, when you told me daffodils were your mom’s favourite flower? That she called you her little daffodil when she carried you in her womb? They are very beautiful – just like you.

“Yours, Azriel.” Mor read the note before carefully putting it back with the flowers.

Every set of flowers had come with its own handwritten note. He had apologised in the first one, the rest told you he missed you, recalling memories of moments you’d shared. Each one ended with a heartfelt compliment, one that brought tears to your eyes every time, without fail.

Mor let out a slight sigh. “I am fully on your side here, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but… are you sure you don’t want to talk to him? I know you’re hurt, and you have every right to be, but… he’s a good male and he likes you – a lot.”

She’s right. You figured that out two days ago. But your pride was wounded, and your trust had been betrayed, and it stung.

However, somewhere along when the initial pain had started to diminish it had slowly but surely gotten replaced by the agony of missing him. Now you didn’t know what part of the pain came from what, you only knew that it hurt.

But Gods, you really did miss him – more and more by the minute. You missed him in your bones; your best friend, your partner in crime, the male you loved.

“Alright, you don’t have to say anything. I have to visit Rhysand to go over some work though, and I won’t be home until late tonight, probably. There is food and tea in the kitchen, or you can go down to the pub downstairs and ask them to make you something. Just… make sure to go there earlier in the evening to avoid drunken idiots, okay?” You rolled over to look at your friend, who once again proved herself to be way better than you deserved. You nodded.

“Thank you,” you whispered and her lips curved upwards in a soft smile.

“Of course, take care of yourself,” she said, that warm smile still intact as she made her way out of the room, closing the door behind her.

After dragging out your stay in bed a few more minutes, the thought of a warm cup of tea became too enticing to ignore. Chucking on a thick sweater you dragged your feet out of the bedroom.

Once in the kitchen, you put the kettle on the stove and went in search of some tea. Where was the one Mor made you yesterday? The one that felt like drinking a warm, spiced hug – you needed that one right now. You found it in one of the cupboards just in time for the water to start boiling. So you made your cup of tea, drizzled in a little bit of honey, and walked out to the living room. You had just put your tea down and made your way over to the wall of bookshelves to pick out a new story to escape into when there was a knock on the door.

The way your entire body froze, yet seemed to come alive at the same time, signalled you knew who it was. How your body and soul could possibly know it was Azriel on the other side of that door, you weren’t sure. But alas, as you crossed the living room towards the entryway and tugged the front door open, there he was.

He looked tired. His eyes seemed uncharacteristically old, his skin dull and the bags under his eyes were undeniable. Despite this he still managed to look as breath-taking as always.

Those tired eyes met yours, and you swore you felt time stop. He was here. Your Azriel.

Except he wasn’t yours, was he? A truth that only stung worse when your name fell from his lips. But seeing him here, like this… you could live with never having him, you thought. As long as he was in your life, if only as a friend.

That’s why you breathed out a “hi,”, and opened the door wider, a silent invitation to step inside. His shoulders sagged in relief as he stepped over the threshold.

“Hey,” Azriel whispered on a shaky breath, as you closed the door behind him. You stood in silence for a minute, neither of you apparently knowing what to say.

Azriel was the first to break the silence, “so, uh– did you get the…”. Bouquets is what he didn’t say, but he didn’t have to.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” you mumbled, never really meeting his eyes. “Pretty.”

“Yeah? Okay,” you could see him nodding out of the corner of your eye. “Good.”

You raised your gaze to meet his, and your heart clenched. You just wanted things back to the way they were, you wanted your friend back. Because standing here in front of him, not knowing what to say was awful. So you did the only thing you could think of…

“I miss you.” Your voice wavered more than you’d ever care to admit, but there it was – the truth.

Azriel’s shoulders visibly shuddered at your confession. “Oh, angel,” it was your time to shudder. “I’ve missed you too, so much. I’m so sorry,” his eyes glazed over as he continued, “but please believe me when I say that I did not know – about how you felt. And maybe that makes me stupid, and blind, and oblivious–”

“No,” you interrupted him, “you’re not any of those things, Az.” His deprecating words wounded you so deeply, a heavy sadness filling your chest.

“I should have known. I never would have– I wouldn’t have been such a coward if I knew.” You swore you heard the remnants of your heart crack.

“Azzy…” You stepped towards him and reached up to cradle his face in your hands. His own hands flew up to your wrist and you prepared for him to reject your touch.

Only he didn’t.

Instead he gently held your hands in place and leaned into your touch in a manner so tender your breath hitched in your throat. His thumbs swiped across the backs of your wrists.

“I’m sorry, I got all up in my head and I–,” you didn’t let him finish.

“It’s okay Azriel, I forgive you.” His posture straightened a little as you continued, “I’m sorry too.”

You felt a tear roll down your cheek, and before you could even register it happening, Azriel had pulled you into a hug. He wrapped an arm around your waist, his other hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he held you against his chest. He was so warm, and comfortable, and safe, and one tear became two, became three. All the while, Azriel held you, wings enveloping you in a cocoon as he whispered sweet nothings into your hair.

After what felt like hours, but was merely just minutes, Azriel dropped his wings from around you and as you felt his arms ease their hold on you, you took half a step back. His hand that had cradled the back of your head now cupped your cheek, the other came to rest on your hip.

You dried your tears, ungracefully wiping snot from your nose, and you once again lifted your head in search of those hazel eyes you had grown so in love with. And as your gazes locked – that’s when you felt it.

Like the snap of a bowstring, dead center in the middle of your chest, that glowing, golden thread locked into place – forever connecting your soul with the male across from you.

The impact was so intense you staggered back, knocking into the end table behind you. Your hand flew up to your chest, fingers clutching the fabric of your sweater as you tried to make sense of what just happened.

Azriel is your mate.

Does he know? Does he even want you? A thousand thoughts swarmed your head, but they were all overpowered by one: mate. He was your mate.

Azriel stood, one arm still partially outstretched, eyes wide and brow furrowed. Something like bewilderment filled you to an overwhelming degree, and it took you a moment to realise that the feelings did not belong to you. They were all Azriel, unable to keep his emotions from bleeding across the bond to you.

“You’re my–,” you stuttered.

“Yes,” he breathed in response.

“I– I’m your–”

“Yes,”

“You knew?” His eyes shuttered at your question.

“Yes,”

You had to sit down.

You wobbled over to the couch and dropped down. You didn’t even realise he’d followed you until you felt the seat dip beside you.

He seemed to realise words were not something currently in your possession, and took it upon himself to start to explain.

“You were sleeping, had been for probably an hour at least, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I have–,” he swallowed and his whole body shook as he professed his next words. “I have been in love with you since the moment I saw you. When Rhysand introduced you to everyone and you were trying to sneak glances at all of us, thinking you were being discreet. You weren’t – quite the opposite actually.” You turned your head to look at him. One of those rare smiles decorated his face as he recalled the memory. “I think everyone noticed, but no one said anything. They were all probably as smitten by you as I was. Not only were you so adorable, you were the most divine female I had ever seen. Your eyes shone so brightly, and you radiated such calmness, such security – like every problem that had ever been wasn’t so bad after all. Like everything was always going to be fine, as long as you were around. You looked heavenly. Like an angel.” He whispered the last part and as his eyes met yours you sucked in a breath at the emotion swimming in them.

Angel. His dedicated pet name for you. What he had been calling you, and only you, since that very first day. Not only were you the only person with that specific pet name – you were the only one of Azriel’s friend to even have a pet name, you realised. Sure, he referred to Rhysand and Cassian as his brothers. But you were his angel.

“You love me?” You croaked, fresh tears filling your eyes.

“Yes, I do.” You hiccupped, face twisting as your chest filled to the brim with so many emotions you could not possibly name them all. He took your hands in his, and gave them a light squeeze as he continued, “When we were on that couch I was just… watching you. Holding you. Realising how perfectly you fit in my arms, when you moved. You snuggled deeper into my chest, like being close to me was an instinctual need, and then you sighed, and you smiled in your sleep – and I couldn’t breathe,” he took a deep breath, “that’s when the bond snapped.” You wanted to reach out and smooth out that crease between his eyebrows. Instead you just moved closer to him, pressed yourself into his side, and when he looked down at you, you gave it your best at pushing some of that endless love you held for him down that glittering bond.

A sharp exhale left his parted lips and he gave your still entwined hands another squeeze. When he looked at you his cheeks were tinged with pink, the tips of his ears flushed.

He loved you.

He was your mate and he loved you.

“I was so shocked. Why would it snap now and not earlier?” He shook his head, his eyes not once leaving yours. “Then I started to… doubt myself,” his brows furrowed deeper, “what if you didn’t want me? I didn’t even know if you knew. Knew and… and decided you didn’t want to be with me. The Gods know I don’t deserve you.”

You couldn’t help the broken whimper that escaped you as you listened to this wonderful male voice how lowly he thought of himself.

“Don’t say that Azriel,” you croaked, your voice thick from crying. “I love you so much. I look at you and my heart fills to a point where I genuinely think it might burst,” you coughed out an attempt at a laugh. “You are a good male, and I could not imagine a greater honour than the Mother choosing you as my mate.”

A single tear rolled down Azriel’s cheek at your confession. You untangled your hands from his, instead crawling into his lap. This wonderful male, and he was all yours. The love that filled your chest felt so secure, so safe. Like the warmth of the morning sun. Like the smell of freshly baked bread, and early morning bird song. It felt like the beginning of something great.

You raked your hands through his hair, and as you leaned in to kiss that lone tear away from his jaw, you watched his eyes shutter closed.

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips, your forehead coming to rest against his, “my mate.”

His hands found your hips and gripped them tightly, and the touch was more than welcomed. If it was up to you to decide, he would never let you go – forever in each other’s embrace.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered once more, breath hot against your lips. “I shouldn’t have–… please don’t leave me again.”

“Never,” you promised, and then, like waves crashing ashore, you leaned in that last bit and pressed your lips to his.

His entire body shook beneath you as he reciprocated the kiss, moulding his lips to yours and you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly right it felt. Like coming home. And as your lips moved together that glowing thread became a wild, real, physical thing between you. His hands gripped you tighter, like you were his lifeline. Pulling you impossibly closer, as if you were the air he needed to breathe. His tongue swiped over your bottom lip and your lips parted, letting your tongues meet in the most delicious of ways.

The kiss was claiming, overpowering and you could not help the whine that escaped you as his fingers dug into your sides. A primal growl rattled deep in his throat, alighting every nerve in your body.

This.

You wanted to stay right here, just like this, forever.

You didn’t know how long you actually did stay like that – the two of you seemed to, again, be able to defy the concept of time together. But you were now laying on the couch, Azriel’s heart drumming a steady beat in your ear, a warm, overwhelming comfort overtaking your body.

Slowly, you started to feel yourself drifting off to sleep, and with your head on his chest, his arms around you, the opening and closing of the front door and Mor’s voice that followed, felt so very far away. You almost didn’t apprehend what she said as her voice moved in closer.

“You better not leave her this time,” she ordered, and the rumble of Azriel’s voice, how very safe it made you feel, lulled you deeper and deeper into unconsciousness.

Your body was impossibly heavy, the words he mumbled into your hair the last thing you registered before sleep claimed you.

“I won't,” he pressed a kiss to your head, “never again.”

tags: @hnyclover @justdreamstars @historygeekqueen @sharknutz @icey--stars @mel-wcst @alysena2 @lewsnumerounofan

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel angst #azriel fluff #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #lonely with you

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thehistoriangirl · 6 months ago

Note

Hi!

Could you write something for Viktor in this Father's Day please??

Thank you so much, have a great day 🖤

Hi anon! For sure :3 I hope you like it

Little Genius

Viktor x Fem!Reader---1.4K----SFW

Tags: Established Relationship (they're married) | Pregnancy | Fluff | Viktor would be such a great dad yall can't change my mind | Happy Father's day to all who celebrate :3 | This is not proofread at all bc Father's Day is over in less than an hour i'm sorryyyy ;---; |

Viktor felt your head nudging against his side, making him lower the book he was reading since yesterday—since you had finished it without waiting for him to read it out loud. A small betrayal Viktor washed away with your extra long session of kisses after dinner.

He reached to turn off the lamp, your hand brushing his before he could pull the tiny rope. Golden eyes took in your alert face, body wiggling closer to him so Viktor could rest his right leg over your hip.

His hum reverberated in your whole body due to the closeness of your cheek and his chest, heart beating content as you melted against the soft touches, the nonsensical patterns he drew against the thin, worn-out fabric of your pajamas.

“Not tired yet?” he asked, looking at the clock hung on the wall almost reaching midnight.

“I want to show you something,” you said, fiddling with the loose threads of his favorite blanket, the one he packed from his house in Zaun and kept in Piltover, even now.

He mourned the sudden loss of your warmth once you incorporated in your elbows, reaching for the nightstand on your side of the bed. Though curiosity made his golden eyes twinkle as your fingers scouted the insides of the last drawer.

“What is it?” Viktor peeked over your shoulder, seeing your hand gently cradling a small, white box tied close with a golden ribbon. “Are you going to propose, my love? Because I’m sorry to tell you this, but I beat you to it around two years ago,” he chuckled, rubbing with his thumb over the golden band decorating a finger in your left hand. Soft, slightly dry lips kissing the reverse of your palm once you glared playfully at him.

“You’re not funny,” you said, thought your curved lips testified completely the opposite.

“I hate to argue with the love of my life, but I am. Otherwise I wouldn’t have win you over.”

“Well, what if I say that you win me over with your terrible jokes?”

Viktor feigned a deep betrayal just like they were represented in the Opera House; hand clutching his shirt over his heart, closing his eyes while his face twisted in a grimace of hurt. “Your words break my heart.” His hands enveloped your waist, pulling you against his chest. “You better have a plan to wound up my poor heart. Your devote lover is very sensible.”

You beamed at him, eyes crinkled in crescents. “I do have one.” Wriggling against his tangled hug, you sat with your legs crossed, settled right in front of Viktor, putting the box on his chest. “Open it.”

The mysterious object was covered with a layer of paper, and for a few moments all that it could be heard inside your shared room was the wrinkled paper being pushed away to reveal the gift.

“Huh?” Viktor frowned, his fingers brushing the softest fabric as he raised the clothing out the box to see it against the light of the bright, golden lamp.

A vivid, burnt yellow bib made of crochet in a pattern oddly familiar for his own baby clothes kept inside a bag under his mother’s bed back in Zaun. The lettering read: Papa’s Little Genius.

He gazed at you, founding your expression of pressed lips about to burst into giggles. “My love?”

“Do you know what day is today?” you said, brushing the empty box away to straddle his hips.

“Sunday?” He could barely articulate any words with your comfortable weight pressed against him.

You lowered over his chest, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck and nibbling on his ear just for the fun to see his pale skin flush deep crimson every time. “It’s Father’s Day,” your voice sent shivers down his spine, goosebumps traveling all over his body as his body torn between your allure making pool molten desire down his stomach, and his brain scrambling around by your shushed words.

“Father’s…” he said, holding your shoulders as he looked down toward you and over the bib resting on the pillow next to him. His golden eyes opened, a gasp hitching his already quickening breath. “Are you… you… I… we…”

You burst out laughing, your vision became blurry with the halo of tears pooling in your eyes. “Yes...,” you whispered, as if it were such a delicate thing, a dream, almost, that if talking too loud about it would make it disappear. “You’re going to be a Papa very soon.”

His teary eyes matched yours as he hugged him flush against him, taking in the smell of your hair, how perfectly he feels blessed at just basking in your presence. And now, not only had you given him your whole body and soul and heart. No, you were about to give him a legacy—a future carved in his blood and flesh.

A child.

His child.

His rough fingerpads caressed your cheeks, wishing to take in every little detail about this moment so he could treasure it for eternity.

“I thought I was the luckiest person in the whole world when you accepted to be my spouse, but now?” He laughed, wiping your tears away. “Now words can’t describe how I feel knowing that you’re carrying our baby.”

Viktor chuckled, his smile that one of a child’s that had just discovered the wonders of life for the first time. His hand cradling your belly.

“Hi, little one,” he muttered, almost afraid to cause a bad impression to his unborn baby. Fingers gently caressing the soft skin under your shirt. “I’m your Papa. Hi,” Viktor repeated, finding himself in a loss of words. “I… I promise I’m going to read a lot of books about parenting, and that I’m going to come up with pretty toys for you, and I promise that I will make daily time to play with you… and sing to you… and tucking you to bed,” his voice broke, a knot straining his throat. “I don’t know anything about being a father, but I promise you I will be the best for you, little one.”

With a groan, he sat on the bed, lowering his head to kiss your belly, hands interlocked in the small of your back. “Only the best for you and your stunning mother. I hope you look just like her,” he said with a chuckle. “Though I will struggle to ground if that occurs… hmm, just be easy on me, alright?”

He looked up at you, eyes full of wonder and pure, unfiltered adoration.

“I just know about them, but I already love them so,” Viktor confessed, caressing your hair, his hands pulling down your chin so his lips could encounter yours. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” He mumbled between kisses of all kind—as soft as the brush of a feather, bold ones with his teeth biting your bottom lip, his tongue exploring your mouth in a slow, sensual dance. “I love you. I love you both,” he corrected, patting your belly.

“Do you like the bib?” you hummed, and he laughed. “Your mother scold me a lot because I kept getting lost while knitting the pattern.

“I knew I recognized that style.” He scanned the bib, arching a playful eyebrow toward you. “Little Genius, eh? Pretty high standards, don’t you think?”

You roll your eyes, swatting his chest lightly. “You say that as if you won’t let them see all your blueprints and chalkboards full of equations the moment they’re born.”

Viktor’s heart fluttered at the thought. He would have to babyproof his studio—and for sure his child wouldn’t step inside the lab without a full-body protective uniform, but the thought of sharing with someone else besides you about his vision of the world and the place he had in it made him feel like he was inside paradise.

A personal goal to make this world much happier, and safer, and fairer.

His baby’s world.

“I love you,” he said, kissing your whole face with delicate kisses that poured out everything words could never express. His devotion. His love. Everything. “I will never be able to pay you back for this…this miracle.”

“I don’t want you to pay me back,” you said, hands resting over his quickly-beating heart. “I love you, too. And your love for both of us is more than enough.”

He smiled widely, showing you that grin you adored so much, that made you melt and wish you could, too, give him the whole world.

“How lucky I am,” he hummed, settling you against his chest. “To have my whole universe safely resting in my arms.”

#viktor x reader #arcane viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #arcane viktor x you #viktor arcane x you #viktor fanfic #viktor x you

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nemisisnemi · 16 days ago

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Happy Birthday Nemi!

Happy birthday to the most annoying and nuke-able sona ever!

This will function as his birthday post since I'm too busy with finals to properly celebrate </3

everyone's least favorite kitchen exploding mf is getting a full body design!

yes, Nemi will finally have one of those twst oc intros :O

can you believe that it's their 3rd official redesign already? It felt like just yesterday when Nemi became my blog's "face"/brand, and now I'm already improving upon the initial design :,)

nemi rambles ab old art + some unposted Nemi art below!

This was Nemi's first appearance on tumblr and also my pfp when first starting out! It was made in reference to something with @spookyavenuestreet's Augustino/ram ram!

I also think i drew this piece over a year ago? It's really shocking on how much my art style has changed since then

Nemi's first ever design! I like how you can immediately tell it's one of my older pieces from my art style-

I'm glad it changed since there's too many sparkles and kind of difficult to tell what they're looking at

ONTO THE NEXT PIECE!

These two pieces are references to how Nemi likes to break into Diasomnia (via the window) to visit Augustino! I'm pretty sure Spooks has a corresponding piece of art to this piece lmao

Oh past Nemi, you had no fear and just fought with Diasomnia students just for funsies :D and also Malleus too apparently-

Now this one! It's a reference to how before all the lore was really "coherent" and just fun shit, they didn't get along with Sebek despite being friends with Augustino!

The hands were originally an idea from spooks! something something mythology?

It got scrapped in the end tho. Was fun for the short bit it lasted!

Ah this one!! :D This was my pfp for the longest time before I changed it to the one I have right now! (That'll change whenever I finish making my 3.0 model)

It's the Nemi you're all probably familiar with! Purple hair, a mischievous smile, and with the iconic hand positioning lmaoo

My current pfp! (for now) The hair got more blue/indigo with pinkish tips :D

There's different versions, but i never ended up using them :(

Here are the different versions! I somehow lost the initial file and couldn't be bothered to put my eye moles back in

Now some art I don't think i ever posted!!

It's a traditional piece! I messed up on the hair since I didn't have the right colors :(

It's a cute simple piece of Nemi messing with Leona nui in class! As you can see on the pieces of paper, Nemi doesn't really pay attention in class...

You can typically find them in detention if they don't have any class or a shift at the Mostro Lounge!

More traditional art! and also more Leona nui bullying (affectionate)

It's a lot harder to draw on paper after only doing digital art for a while. This piece and the one before were pieces I drew during my senior yr of high school!

I think the only piece as of all the drawings so far that weren't made during high school is my current pfp! That piece was made during the summer after I graduated (well, more like skipped my graduation and just collected my diploma after but still-)

HI3RD AU!!!!

Here are some of my HI3rd Au Nemi pieces! Anything related to that au is just angst- I still don't feel like explaining the lore in detail so I'll just rapid fire it:

-Junqiao is a herscherr

-Junqiao possessed Nemi (via gem)

-Junqiao is a homewrecker bc he slowly made Leona fall for him while possessing Nemi's body

-Nemi got forced to become a valkyrie against their will after regaining a bit of control from Junqiao

-end game plan is for Nemi to give up their body and consciousness over to Junqiao since they no longer have anything to really "fight" for as Leona loves Junqiao now instead of them :D

-all Nemi wanted was a simple life, no valkyries, no honkai, just a simple life by Leona's side (but even that is a pipe dream eh?)

More Hi3rd au pieces :D

The first piece got worked on a bit more after I posted it originally! And I dont think I ever posted anything about the other one? I might make it into a fully rendered piece if I ever get the chance and motivation!

Spirit Animal AU! on RIOFY

this is by far the happiest Nemi has ever been in any Aus I put them in

whore era with those exposed shoulders and chest opening /j

rapid fire lore:

-something something pacts n shit with Leona & Junqiao

-learns to be more open with themselves in fashion choices via the whores (Leona & Junqiao)

-destructive trio poly qpr! (Nemi, Leona & Junqiao in this au)

-eventually gets forcibly "sibling'd" after meeting Viz & Yuhua ( @twistedwonderlandshenanigans & @distant-velleity 's ocs)

And this is my most recent drawing of Nemi! (besides the 3.0 model redesign) I never posted this bc I ended up hating how the full body looks. The body pose is just really awkward and stiff; a complete 180 from how it looked in the sketch phase

Sorry none of the pieces are really in order from oldest to most recent! :( It's kinda difficult to track down which ones came first for the older pieces, but I think you can kinda tell by the hair color, hair length and most obviously; my art style

Nemi's hair has been slowly shifting from purple to a more blue tone! It's also slowly getting longer, but I think it's going to settle around the shoulders!

MOOTS' ART!!

we start off strong with spooks' art!

.....THE JAR (sobs) it was a joking comment ab shaking or putting Augustino in a jar. Then spooks decided to literally draw it. ahaha....

another spooks art! this was for ram ram's birthday! and Nemi made an (uninvited but welcome-)appearance :D

This piece is an art req that got answered! The one who drew this is the very very lovely: @amatsuchan-eiliniel !!!!

THANK YOU AGAIN AMATSUUUUUUUU YOU COOKED AND AIUGHDGHJFGGKGBFHDHF NOM NOM NOM

thank you for not forgetting Nemi's eye moles despite the fact that i forgot to add them when drawing initially hgfdhbfhg-

Now onto some silly ones from the Leona simping serv- i mean The Prince's Uprising zine server :D

These are by soru from The Prince's Uprising zine server... hi @le-monchou

its still all very funny but also terrifying just thinking about how you drew Nemi dying in a fucking glue trap lmao

AND FINALLY: RATMI.

This is by the lovely @aprityormarj

something something nemi ratatouille and this was made

yes. this is Nemi as a rat. Ratmi at your service~

That finishes it off for Nemi's bday post!

Hopefully I remember to schedule this post for December 7th bc that's when my sona's birthday is!

Irl nemi's bday on the other hand isn't until the 26th! I'll hopefully be making a birthday piece for both Nemi and irl nemi by then!

#twst #twisted wonderland #art #sketch #twst fanart #twst sona #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twst wonderland #twst persona #persona #artist persona #old art #art dump #redesign #oc redesign #persona redesign

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zombiisong · 3 months ago

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Here's the Primo I drew yesterday! :D

I've been having a lot more fun with my sketchbook recently! I've been enjoying myself a lot shading stuff, since greyscale on paper feels a bit easier than digital :3

Hope you enjoy this as much as I did! 💕

#papa i #papa emeritus #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus primo #papa primo #ghost #ghost bc #the band ghost #my art #ghost fanart #fanart #traditional art #traditional sketch

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whatsnewalycat · 4 months ago

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No Strings Attached

Dieter Bravo x OFC Louella - Psychomanteum AU

[ psychomanteum masterlist ][ ao3 ]

WC: 2.7k+

Tags/Warnings: lua 2nd person pov, ghosts, psychomanteum au where they were together in spring, set after chapter 2, bickering, alcohol, drugs, addiction, ethan, anonymous sex mention, a boat load of sweeet sweet yearning folks

Notes: This is a doc I just found in my Psychomanteum folder. I think this is what I was originally writing for Chapter 3, but changed direction. Some of these conversations and prose proooobably got recycled into different chapters, but I can't remember. ANYWAY it's cute so I'm posting it as a Psychomanteum AU Snackie Poo (i'msosorryforsayingthatohmygod)

-----

Since Katie’s party, the two of you have hung out a handful of times, mostly with Parker, going out to a bar and having a few drinks. Between whatever actor things actors do while they’re in the city, he’ll sometimes text you to see what you’re doing, and what you’re usually doing is baking.

It surprises you a little every time he comes over. Why would an exciting guy like this want to hang out in your apartment while you work? Not that you mind. The company is nice. Most of the time he’ll chat with you while he sketches and happily disposes of any defective product. Sometimes it goes quiet while the two of you concentrate on your respective tasks, but it doesn’t feel awkward.

This is the modus operandi when Dieter slides his pencil it into the spine of his sketchbook and studies you, “Do you believe in ghosts?”

Out of breath from rolling out puff pastry dough, you look at him and pant, “What?”

“Ghosts,” he leans against the counter, pressing his thumbnails to his lips as he waits for your answer.

You huff, setting your rolling pin down, and remember the picture frame on the spare bedroom floor. The face you imagined you saw in the mirror. Sometimes you hear noises in that room, but can’t bring yourself to investigate. The only time you enter the room is to get supplies, and even then, you speed run and don’t dare look up at the mirrors.

“No,” you avert your gaze from his and turn around to wash your hands in the sink.

“Wow, you’re a terrible liar.”

You turn around and gape at him as you dry your hands, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“So you do believe in ghosts, got it,” he gives you a cheeky grin. You roll your eyes but don’t deny it. He leans forward onto his elbows again, “If I tell you something, will you think I’m crazy?”

“Dee, I texted you yesterday and asked if you think that Avril Lavigne is really herself or a body double. I don’t think I’m qualified to make any judgments on the sanity of other humans,” you toss the kitchen towel over your shoulder, then start folding the dough into layers.

He tilts his head and frowns, then points at you, “I think you might be onto something there,” then shakes his head, “Ok, well…”

His Adam’s apple bobs and his eyes flick to the spare bedroom door. You stop folding the pastry dough and stand up straight. A shiver runs down your spine. He gnashes his jaw back and forth, then takes a deep breath, “I see him sometimes.”

You shake your head and search his eyes. Not out of confusion. You just don’t want him to say it.

He slides his sketchbook across the counter, flipping it around so you can see what he drew. There, sketched in graphite on the creamy paper, is your husband. He’s standing in the open doorway of the spare room. The illustration is unruly, yet intricate. Your mouth falls open as you press your fingertips to his face, and you feel his sorrow. So much so, you flinch back and shake your head again, “Sorry, um, I–”

Dieter watches your eyes start to well with tears and his shoulders slump, “Fuck, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Is he still there now?” you whisper, meeting his big, sad, brown eyes.

They flick to the door and back to you, and he gives you a nod. Your stomach drops to the floor and the hair on the back of your neck stands up.

“I need to leave,” you announce, throwing the kitchen towel off your shoulder onto the counter, then take off your apron and drop it on the towel, “Right now. I have to leave.”

He stands up off the stool, pushing it out behind him, pointing to the puff pastry, “Should–I, uh, should I wrap that up?”

“Um, y-yeah, put it in the fridge, thanks,” you walk around the counter and past him to grab your purse, shove your feet into your boots, then walk out the door and wait for him in the hall.

He emerges while putting on his jacket, then you lock the door and start toward the elevator. The hall is silent except for the rustling of their clothes and footfalls. You slap the down button on the elevator and cross your arms.

“He was trying to talk to you,” Dieter explains.

You shake your head, “I don’t care.”

“You don’t care?” he challenges.

“Mhmm,” you nod, hitting the button again, harder this time.

“Terrible liar,” he mutters to himself, then stares forward at the elevator doors. And he probably thinks he’s being funny. But it’s not funny. You don’t react.

Once the elevator dings, you’re inside, pressing the doors closed button before they even open all the way. He steps onboard. They accordion shut.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out,” he tells you earnestly. In the foggy reflection of the stainless steel doors, you can tell that he’s looking at you.

“Well, you fucking did,” you snap, and wish you could take the words and shove them back into your mouth. He faces forward and his gaze drops to his feet.

The doors open and Dieter pushes out in front of you, storming out of the building. By the time you make it outside, he’s gone. A pang of guilt stabs through your chest. The cool, dewy air sticks to your skin and makes you shiver. You regret not grabbing a jacket, but start off towards your favorite hole-in-the-wall bar anyway.

O’Malley’s is a dingy dugout bar about a block away from your apartment. It’s so dimly lit in contrast to the bright afternoon sun, you have to squint and go off of muscle memory when you walk in the door. On a Tuesday, during daylight hours, when the temperature outside is finally warm enough to melt the gritty snowpiles that have been accumulating for months, the establishment is essentially empty. One sad sap sits at the bar, jacket hanging off the back of his stool, staring down at the lowball glass clutched in his fist. He’s leaning onto the bar with a ringed hand propping his head up.

You approach and pull out the barstool next to him, droning, “Hey there.”

Dieter casts a glance to you with a raised brow, then scoffs when he recognizes you. He lifts the glass to his lips and empties it into his mouth, then pushes his sweater sleeves up to his elbows.

Nick, the portly bartender you see here frequently during the week, approaches, “The usual?”

“Yeah,” you nod towards Dieter, “I’ll get his, too.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he sits back and pulls a wallet from his pocket, then throws some bills on the bar top, “I was just leaving.”

Fucking hell.

“Dee–” you reach out and touch his arm, and he turns towards you and stares expectantly. You chew on your bottom lip, dropping your gaze to the floor before sighing, “Please stay. I’m-“

Nick returns with a whiskey neat and vodka cranberry, sliding them in front of you and Dieter before asking you, “Tab?”

“Yes please,” you answer with a polite smile, then turn back to Dieter, whose scowl has softened, “C’mon.”

He sighs and his shoulders release, then he relaxes back into the barstool. Neither of you say anything as you take a sip of the drink, then you turn to him, “I know. Like, um. I know that he’s there sometimes. But I don’t—“ you shake your head, “I don’t want to know.”

He sits up and leans his elbows against the bar, turning to watch you. You chew on your bottom lip and watch the ice cubes clink together as you stir your drink.

“What was he trying to tell me?” you ask finally.

“I don’t know,” Dieter frowns, “I couldn’t tell.”

You saw Ethan cross into the threshold. Through some kind of an otherworldly osmosis, he was absorbed by the membrane that met the two of you at the end of the silent, iridescent wormhole.

“Why would he come back?” you whisper, mostly to yourself.

“Why do any spirits come back?” Dieter shrugs and takes a big sip of whiskey, “Unfinished business.”

All you can think is that it better be a fucking apology. He owes you that much. Ethan was so fucked up that night. Did he even know what he was doing? Or had he been planning it?

The man that woke you up in the middle of the night on Christmas and made you get into his car with the intention of totaling it… that wasn’t the man you married. You wonder how much coke he had really been doing in the weeks, maybe even months, leading up to the accident. Towards the end, it became commonplace for him to be out all night without explanation.

He would stumble in at 7am, talking a million miles a minute, a sharp sniff interrupting his monologue every 10 seconds, hands trembling like your grandma’s when she started showing symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. When he finally crashed, he’d go to bed and sleep until the sun went down, where he would isolate himself for a day or two. Then he would go out to run orders to your clients and not come back until 7am. Rinse, wash, repeat.

One night, when big, fat snowflakes were fluttering to the ground outside in big, he was standing in front of all the order boxes ready to go, making sure he had everything. You came up behind him and wrapped your arms around to his chest, laying your cheek against the back of his winter coat, “Can you come home tonight? I miss you.”

“Baby, I’m with you all the time,” he chuckled, placing a hand over yours, rubbing his thumb against you affectionately.

“That’s not what I mean,” you told him quietly. His thumb stopped undulating and his body tensed. Your heart was pounding in your chest when you finally admitted out loud, “I’m worried about you, Ethan. I think it’s becoming a problem again.”

You let go as he stirred beneath your embrace, turning around to face you. His body only became more rigid, shoulders tensed up to his ears, jaw gnashing, as he assured you, “It’s not a problem. I promise. I’ll come home after dropping these off, ok?”

He pressed his lips your forehead, sealing his promise with a kiss, and you mumbled, “Ok.”

He didn’t come home until the next morning. You weren’t surprised.

“You ok?” Dieter nudges you.

A lie waits, ready to roll off the tip of your tongue. Instead, what comes out is the truth.

“No. I don’t think so,” you take a sip and look down at your drink, “But, what can ya do?”

“Mmm, I think I have something that could help,” Dieter mutters in a suggestive tone. Your heart skips, then you look at him and realize he’s pressing a joint up between his lips, “Wanna go for a walk?”

This brings a smile to your face, but you protest, “I didn’t bring a coat, it’s still chilly outside.”

The joint bobs as he frowns and grabs his jacket, “Use mine. I’m fucking sweating, anyway.”

—

The passersby barely pay the two of you any attention as you stroll at a leisurely pace through the park, passing the joint back and forth. His sepia fleece jacket hangs down to your knees and keeps you almost too insulated.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, tasting the vapors of melting snow clinging close to the earth. The sunshine seems to melt away the foul mood you were in earlier. In your euphoria, you trip on a crack in the pavement, stumbling a bit. You steady yourself and giggle in embarrassment.

“So glad you don’t have anyone following you with a camera right now,” you comment.

Dieter plucks the roach from his lips, holds the intoxicating smoke captive in his lungs, and offers it up to you, “How do you know we don’t?”

You scrunch your face up and make a full 360, scanning for any potential paparazzi, and shoo the roach away. He exhales and shrugs, then tosses it into a disintegrating snow pile, “I’m just kidding, I think I’m off their radar for the time being.”

“Yeah? Have you been a good boy, Dee?” you giggle. The way his whole body seems to perk up at the question is not lost on you.

“Not so much that as I’m not the biggest shitheel in the media at the moment,” he smirks, looking you up and down through his sunglasses.

You hum and nod, although you have no idea what he’s referring to, “Ah, yes. That one guy did that one thing.”

He laughs, “There’s always another guy doing another thing. It never fails.”

“Ol’ reliable,” you respond, then tilt your head in curiosity, “How is your divorce going, then?”

“Boring, next,” he groans.

“No no no, sir, you told me my dead husband is haunting my home today. Even the scales.”

“Are you sure you’re not the press?” he raises an eyebrow at you.

And, of course, it’s a joke. But that side glance gnaws at your gut the same way that Ethan’s narrowed eyes did. Looking at you like you’re an informant.

‘I didn’t tell anyone about the ink, Lou.’

“What?” your shoulders slump. You come to a standstill, and stammer, “I wouldn’t–no, what?”

He stops, too, and turns to you, “I’m just kidding, Lua.”

“Oh,” you breathe a sigh of relief, “Ok. I’m not, um, trying to be snoopy.”

“You are way prettier than a cartoon beagle,” he smiles, then starts walking again. You catch up to him and try not to let the way your stomach flutters show on your face. It does. He smiles wider, then it fades to a frown as he shrugs and scratches his neck, “The divorce is going. Annie is staying at the house until it’s finalized, so I’ve been living out of hotels, which gets old,” a sly smile creeps across his face, “It is a little easier on the dating front, though. Living in hotels, that is.”

“Why’s that?”

“Sex is just better in a bed. A little more room to work with than the bathroom of a club or the backseat of a car, you know? Plus, then they don’t feel like they have to leave right away.”

“That’s probably why I prefer those places. Don’t have to stick around afterwards.”

He grins at you, “Is that right?”

Something sparks at the middle of you when you look over at him and shrug, then he licks his lips and nods, looking ahead.

“So you’re dating people?”

“I don’t think dating is the right term,” you frown, “More just, um… casual sex, I guess.”

He raises an eyebrow at you, “Since when?”

“Does it matter?” you tuck your hair behind your ear and look down.

“No, not at all,” he nudges you, so you look at him and see the good will on his face. “I just… Well, I’ll really kick myself if I could have been begging you to sleep with me this whole time.”

Your mouth is all of a sudden very dry. You blush and chuckle, then shake your head, “I’m looking for no-strings-attached situations.”

“I am all about no-strings-attached,” he touches his fingertips to his chest and grins, peaking his bloodshot eyes over the rim of his sunglasses.

“Mmm, no, see, we have strings,” you sigh, then count each of the following points on your hands, “I don’t fuck clients. Or friends. Or celebrities going through very public divorces.”

Or people I have a big, giant, throbbing crush on.

“My heart,” he clutches the front of his shirt theatrically.

You giggle at his reaction. The conversation dies momentarily, and the sounds of the city fill the cool air between you. You feel compelled to elaborate, “I’m not ready. With the dead husband and all that. I don’t want a pity fuck, or a goddamn significant other. I just want to get off, then I want it to be over. No strings.”

He nods, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his pants, “No judgment here, m’dear.”

#psychomanteum #psychomanteum au #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x ofc #dieter bravo x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic

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scribble-dribble-writes · 2 years ago

Note

Absolutely adored your last story!

If you don't mind, I'd like to request something too. What about Miguel's reaction to the reader telling him they are with child? 👀 Feel free to write this to your heart's content 🩷

Have a great day! x

I'm not usually a fan of writing pregnant scenes unless and until it is absolutely required. Given Miguel's backstory, it is definitely required haha. So hope I did your ask the due diligence.

Hope you like it 💖💖💖

---

Magic

The digits in the clock changed with a click. It was past midnight and somehow, you couldn’t sleep. You laid still, soaking in the silence and taking comfort in the soft pale light that filtered into the room.

Arguably with what you learnt yesterday, your mind should have been a warzone but instead it was a question paper staring back at you, waiting for you to choose the right answer. You preferred the battle field. You sighed, the warm hand that rested on the peak of your hip trailed up higher making your skin feel smooth as if you were made of butter.

He pulled you closer to him, even in his sleep he craved for you presence. You had been warned about him, to not marry him and yet you heeded to no one’s advice. Instead, only choosing him when any struggle arose. He was always the answer, you couldn’t be without him and with how he nuzzled into your neck seeking comfort, you knew you held some value in his life too.

So if you were going to choose him again, you were having to say goodbye to a different chapter in your life.

“You're still awake aren’t you?”, he asked you, his voice raspy as he stirred from his sleep.

“How could you tell?”, you asked still laying as you were.

“Reading you has always been a part of my reflex.”, he mumbled with pride as he placed a soft kiss on your exposed shoulder.

You let out a quiet chuckle, now turning towards him to hide deeper into the panes of his chest. Skin on skin, there was no telling where his limbs intertwined with yours. The steady rhythm of his heart only made your throat drier.

“A charmer, even in the dead of night.”, you traced your finger over his collarbone to tuck your hand beneath his arm in the end.

“My spells won’t work on anyone else.”, he spoke with his eyes closed, still caught in the in between.

You didn’t intend to wake him, he was tired as is and now you were keeping him up. It stung you, the one thought that had been on your mind since yesterday. You were failing, in being a wife and now, as a mother.

“Because you’re the magic.”, his words dripped like candle wax, beautiful and yet it burned your heart.

“Only you think so.”, you closed your eyes, hoping to fall asleep as his hand rubbed your back, the soft gesture easing you to relax.

“Puedo preguntarte algo?”, his words had a little slur to them as you hummed in response.

“Why did you hide you were sick this morning?”, the calm in his voice made your eyes pop open as you drew in a sharp breath, now with him holding you so close, he could read you like a book.

“There was nothing to hide, Miguel.”, you were digging a deeper hole.

“It wasn’t all too concerning to trouble you.”, you were now wide awake.

“Mi cielo.”, he murmured.

“Come to me with all your troubles, por favor.”, even as he spoke you could tell this had weighed him down.

You were still thinking it through when he prompted you again, “So?”, he was lulling you to give up the truth.

“Why did you then sneak off to the doctor’s?”, now he was awake too. There was a certain bite to his words, crisp with tension and worry.

You didn’t need to see his eyes to tell that he was afraid, you could feel it in the way his muscles stiffened. The thought propped up again. That you were failing, at being his lover and his wife by keeping things from him.

But was your guilt and fear more important than his feelings?

To have put him through the worry of fearing he was going to lose you too.

He was always the answer, he would give up everything for you if you asked and you would do the same. Selfless for eachother that it often put you in a spot to make decisions for him.

But what would he say?

Did you want to put him through the pain of his past by placing a child in his hands?

“Because,”, you looked up at him, to note his gaze was already on you, hooked on your every word.

“I’m carrying your child.”, you let the words slip from your tongue, like you were letting go out the helm of your ship towards what could be the point of it’s destruction.

You were sure, that having lost his daughter once, he wouldn’t want to put himself through that heartbreak again. You watched as he tensed up again, to slowly rise up to rest his back against the head board.

“Oh.”, he said, but you couldn’t tell from his sober tone.

“So nothing life threatening.”, he reached out to caress your cheek.

“No.”, you drew yourself close to him. Ironic, that many believed you lit up his world but he was the fire to your winter. You only found respite in his arms.

“When did you come to know?”, he rubbed his thumb over your cheekbone.

“Yesterday.”, you told him, to which he hummed taking in the information.

But his eyes slid to yours, “Why didn’t you tell me?”, the way his eyes looked pale in the dim light, you not confiding in him had hurt him.

“Miguel, you know the life I come from.”, you turned serious, that somehow in his presence you couldn’t continue to lie anymore.

“What if I’m not a good mother? What if instead of building this family, I wreck it instead?”, you asked, your blood turning cold with images of this fear manifesting in your mind.

“And it would result in you being heart broken, over the child you lost.”, you slumped into the cover like a little pebble, giving in to the pull of your panic.

“I love that you think of me always, mi ángel.”, he reached for your waist to pull you up over his torso such that you could meet his eyes.

“But in this circumstance, you’re wrong.”, his index finger smoothed the wrinkles on your forehead as you fought back tears.

“I can see it in your eyes, you will be an excellent mother. Your love is endless and patient, you made me believe in all this again.”, he gestured to the setting around you.

“So don’t let your fears destroy you.”, he wiped the tear as it landed on your cheek.

“As for me.”, he paused, his eyes turning distant for a second.

“As much as I loved Gabriella as my own,”, he ran his fingers through your long hair.

“She wasn’t.”, he pursed his lips.

“This variant of mine had everything I could only dream off. Replacing him meant I only enjoyed a life that was a lie.”, he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“Which hurt more when I lost it.”, you could see the sadness in his eyes.

“Nothing was real from the beginning.”, he gave you a lopsided frown, which broke your heart as you felt his pain as your own.

“Almost as close to a figment of my imagination.”, he inhaled deeply to sigh.

“But you.”, the sadness vanished and in it’s place happiness restored his features.

“Our home.”, he looked up at the ceiling.

“It’s all real.”, he smiled, his eyes slowly trailing back to you.

“So no, this wouldn’t hurt me.”, he nudged your nose with his as though this was all you had to remember, to never forget that he was sure of this.

“I’ve wanted this, I want this next chapter for us. It's time.”, he confided in you as he closed his eyes to pull you closer, to rest your forehead on his and when you did, the question paper in you mind vanished. It didn’t have the answer you wanted to choose, because in this second you had both chosen to choose eachother.

“You surprise me in the best ways.”, you told him as you reached up to take his other hand.

Holding onto his fingers, you guided his hand over to place it over your womb and when he opened his eyes, there was a new passion in it. A new fervent resolution that what he had now, he would protect with his life, that his entire life was right here in the confines of his arms.

With that burning desire, he caught your lips with his. It was a sleepy kiss that was my no means perfect as the ones in the morning were but it was surely more important. You and him weren't going to be the only ones in this house anymore.

“Like I said.”, he spoke over your lips.

“You are magic.”, he said as he trailed his fingers over your lower abdomen.

So you kissed him again, softly, your hands scaling the incline of his back to hold his neck.

But he pulled away to catch his breath.

“Vamos, mami. You need to have a good sleep.”, he placed you into the side of your bed with a sudden air of discipline, as he had remembered what time it was.

“I’ll make you fresh lemonade in the morning to combat the sickness and also –

“You need your sleep too, papi.”, you cut him off before he began to panic and pulled his hand over your waist as he chuckled to settle into your covers.

“Bien, bien.”, he calmed down settling into the same lazy rhythm with his hand slung over you that finally made sleep arrive sooner than what you both had expected.

#miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099

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fluentmoviequoter · 11 months ago

Note

Hey could you do fluff fic for David 'Deacon' Kay x wife reader where they spend their day together after hectic week? She's school teacher. Tag me later. Thanks!!

Of course! This was a fun one; thanks for the great request!! Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!🤍 @pear-1206

Hectic Relief

Warnings: reader is an elementary teacher (I didn't specify which grade, just implied younger kids), hectic week, lots of fluffy comfort, kissing.

Word Count: 2.2k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest (it goes with the end [and makes me smile😊])

“Yes, Drew?” you ask, smiling at the young boy as he lowers his hand.

“When is Sergeant Kay visiting again?” he inquires.

“Hmm… Well, he’s really busy this week, but I’ll ask him to come back soon.”

Drew nods with a bright smile. He loves your husband, Deacon, and asks about him often. Since Deacon came in for career day, Drew and several other students have become big fans of his.

“Can he come Friday?” Drew continues.

“Why Friday?”

“It’s my birthday!”

“Oh, I see. I’ll ask him, but remember what Sergeant Kay said last time? He’s really busy at work, so he may not be able to.”

“Can’t you make him?” someone else asks. “My mom makes my dad do stuff all the time.”

You chuckle at the implication that wives have control over their husbands before gesturing for everyone to pipe down.

“I’ll see what I can do, Drew,” you promise. “But either way, I’ll make sure you have a good birthday at school.”

Drew nods, and you think the day will be easier with the idea of Deacon coming in soon. It only takes an hour for that hope to be crushed, as the week takes a turn for the worse.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon sighs. It’s only Tuesday morning, and his week is already feeling long. He hasn’t seen you since Sunday night. Yesterday, a call ran long, and you were asleep before he came in. You moved closer to him in your sleep, but he had to leave before you woke up.

“Everyone ready for another night of overtime?” Rocker cheers before pretending to cry.

“I vote we just let the criminals take each other out this time,” someone mumbles.

“If my wife wasn’t working in this city, I’d agree,” Deacon says, surprising everyone.

✯✯✯✯✯

During your free hour, while your class is with another teacher, you drop your head to your desk and take a deep breath. The kids are restless, you’re tired, and each day this week seems longer than the last. You send Deacon a quick text to let him know you’re thinking of him and love him before turning your attention to the stack of papers on your desk.

Across town, Deacon is sitting in Black Betty, wondering when he’ll hear your voice again. It feels like the longest week of his life, and each passing minute makes him miss you more. His phone buzzes, and he smiles for the first time in hours as he reads your short message. Luca slams on the brakes and yells for backup before Deacon can answer, but he knows you understand. Even if it’s unfair to you and hard on him.

✯✯✯✯✯

By Friday morning, you feel part zombie, part teacher. The small gift you got for Drew and the card you signed from you and Deacon are sitting by your bag. You hope it’s enough to cheer Drew up even without Deacon stopping by to see his favorite of your students.

“Happy birthday, Drew,” you tell him when he enters the classroom. “This is from me and Sergeant Kay. He said to wish you a happy birthday and that he’ll come visit as soon as he can.”

It’s a lie; you haven’t even talked to Deacon in days, but you know he would be here if he could. He loves the kids and would do anything to help you out.

Drew’s smile falls just enough that you notice. He thanks you, anyway, even though he’s clearly disappointed his favorite SWAT sergeant won’t be dropping by today.

“Alright, class. Who’s ready for Fun Friday?” you ask, smiling as you pray for a nice day.

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon clenches his jaw as he slams back against a brick wall.

“30-David, shots fired on the 4 side,” he radios.

“Copy. Shooter on the 1 side,” Street replies.

“We’re going to be here for a while, aren’t we?” Deacon asks.

Hondo nods beside him, and Deacon prepares for another day of missing you.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Drew, buddy, I know it’s your birthday, but we need to finish this lesson before recess. Let’s sit down and focus, then we can play,” you say, struggling to stay calm.

Drew huffs and falls back in his seat. When you see tears gathering in his eyes, you feel like you’re right behind him. It’s only 9 a.m., and it is the perfect, overly hectic, and stressful end to the longest week of your career as a teacher.

“I promise we’ll do something fun this afternoon, but it’s still school.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Deacon answers the phone, suppressing a stressed yell when Hicks tells 20-David to meet 50-squad on the other side of the county to aid with a hostage situation. He leans his head against Black Betty, wondering if they’d really notice if he took the rest of the day off.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sends you a quick text, surprised when you answer almost immediately. He doesn’t know if he’ll be home tonight, and his heart breaks at your disappointed reply, even though you try to cover it as a caring and understanding message.

Deacon knows that being a cop’s wife is just as hard as being a cop, and he wants to find a way to make it easier on you.

“Guys, I need a favor,” he calls as he puts his phone away. “I need to be home for dinner. I haven’t heard my wife’s voice in almost 5 days, and if I don’t hear it today, you’re all going to know about it.”

Luca chuckles as Street’s eyes widen. “Yes, sir,” they all say together.

“She’s braver than any of us,” Hondo muses teasingly.

“Better looking, too,” Deacon replies.

✯✯✯✯✯

The final bell rings and your shoulders slump as you say goodbye to each passing student.

“Thank you,” Drew says quietly.

“You’re welcome, Drew. I’ll make sure Sergeant Kay visits soon, okay?”

He nods. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“It’s okay, Drew, thank you. Have a good rest of your birthday and enjoy your party tomorrow, bud.”

Drew smiles as he nods excitedly before rushing out. The stack of papers on your desk has dwindled slowly, and you carelessly push it into your bag, unwilling to stay in your classroom for a minute longer than you have to.

Sighing in relief as you start your car, you hope to see Deacon tonight, even if only long enough to kiss him and hear him say goodnight.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Told you we’d do it,” Hondo says, clapping Deacon’s back, “now please go home. Your desperation is wearing off on us.”

Deacon would reply if he had more energy or if Hondo was wrong. He has no shame in admitting that he misses you and needs your comfort after such a hectic week with seemingly pointless chases around Los Angeles County.

He’s back to the station and on his way home to you before Luca notices he left.

✯✯✯✯✯

When Deacon steps into the house, he immediately feels lighter and happier. You look up from a paper and smile, setting it aside. Beginning to stand, Deacon moves faster than you and practically falls on top of you, pinning you to the couch with a tight hug.

You move one arm across his shoulders as he buries his face between your neck and shoulder. Running your fingers through Deacon’s hair, you relax in his embrace, and the week away seems worth the wait.

“I missed you,” you tell him, scratching his scalp.

“Missed you more,” he mumbles, tightening his grip on you.

“We should order dinner then, right?”

Deacon nods, and you smile as you pull his phone out, typing in your birthday to unlock it. Once the food is ordered, you move your hands to Deacon’s tense back muscles.

“Seems like your week was as long as mine,” you muse, gently kneading a knot in his lat muscle.

He groans before sitting up, pulling himself close to you. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, kissing his cheek quickly before asking, “How are you?”

Deacon catches your chin, pulling you in for a real kiss as he replies, “Better now.”

Once your dinner is delivered, you sit with your thigh pressed against Deacon’s as he tells you about the string of robberies and hostage situations spanning the county this week. He’s more interested in hearing about your week, so he doesn’t go into much detail before asking about you.

“Well, today was Drew’s birthday and he was pretty grumpy,” you tell Deacon, moving your legs across his lap.

“Not Drew, he’s my favorite!” Deacon exclaims.

“I think he was upset that you couldn’t come to class on his big day,” you excuse, running a finger along Deacon’s cheekbone and down his jaw as you add, “and he was tired, like someone else I know.”

Deacon nods, leaning against you.

“We should go to bed,” you whisper.

Deacon shakes his head, making himself comfortable beside you, one arm wrapped firmly around your waist to keep you close.

“If we go get ready and get in the bed, we can cuddle easier,” you bribe.

Deacon’s eyes open as he asks, “Promise?”

Chuckling, you link your pinky with Deacon’s and promise. He holds you to it, pulling you into his arms when you’re changed and ready to relax. He hugs you tightly, refusing to let go even though you don’t try to fight him.

As you fall asleep in Deacon’s arms, you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you,” Deacon replies, entering into the best sleep all week.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you wake up, Deacon has moved you closer to him in your sleep. It’s as if he thought he’d wake up and you’d be gone. Brushing your finger over his facial features, you wish you could admire him all day, but you need to get up and get a glass of water.

As you try to move out of his grip, it tightens. You finally give up and decide to wake him up.

“Deac, baby, I need to get up,” you say gently.

“It’s been a week, you can’t leave,” he mumbles.

“I just need to get some water, handsome.”

Deacon seems to debate his options before unhooking his arms and saying, “Two minutes or I’m coming to find you.”

“I have no doubt.”

You return in less than two minutes, but when you offer to make breakfast and bring it back, Deacon rolls out of bed and sleepily follows you to the kitchen. Standing behind you, he keeps his arms around your waist as he helps you prepare breakfast, trailing kisses up your neck each time you turn your head.

“I’m glad we’re both home now,” you tell him, turning in his arms to kiss him.

“Me too,” he replies, pulling you in for another kiss.

✯✯✯✯✯

It takes hours, but you finally convince Deacon to talk about himself and his week at work. As you direct him to the patio, you find yourself in his lap, enjoying the sun after a week inside with your rambunctious class.

“You’re too good for me,” Deacon says, interrupting his story.

“You’re too good for me,” you repeat.

Deacon smiles at the challenging look on your face, aware that you will win any argument he tries to make. This conversation is practiced, and he knows how it ends: an agreement that you are soulmates, completing each other and perfect for one another.

“I think we need a vacation,” you tell him.

“Or a second honeymoon,” he suggests, kissing your jaw.

“But you have to come visit my class first or I’ll have a riot on my hands.”

“Technically, you’d have a better chance of getting me there for riot control.”

You laugh, leaning against Deacon’s chest as you kiss the corner of his mouth.

“I’ll see if I can make some time this week. For you and the kids.”

The sun dips below the hills, and you wonder where the day went, though you know time spent with Deacon always goes too fast.

“Same thing tomorrow?” you ask, pulling your legs up as Deacon nudges you to shift.

Lifting one of your legs so you’re sitting in his lap, your face just above his, Deacon smiles and answers, “Anything with you.”

You tilt your chin down, brushing your lips across Deacon’s. He sighs, raising his hands so one is on your waist and the other behind your neck. Settling on his thighs, you lean against Deacon’s chest as you kiss him, letting his love and comfort calm you from the inside out.

“I love you,” you say against his lips.

“Love you more.”

You push your hands against his chest, taking a deep breath before arguing, “Impossible.”

Deacon tilts his head, a bright smile making his eyes look deeper and darker than usual. He’s irresistible, and as you kiss him again, he promises himself not to let work get in the way like that again.

Pulling back, you suggest, “You should bring your whole squad next time, the kids would love it.”

“If we can spare the time.”

“'If'? You can't do it, not even for me?” you ask with a pout. “Your wife?”

Deacon nods, telling you he’ll find a way.

“It’s that easy,” you whisper, kissing his nose.

“Because you cheat,” Deacon accuses.

“Because you love me.”

Deacon can’t argue, so he pulls you down for a slower kiss, happy to spend another slow, lazy night in your arms before doing it all again tomorrow.

#david deacon kay x reader #david kay x reader #david deacon kay #deacon kay x reader #deacon kay #deacon kay fluff #fem!reader #requests #swat cbs

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circusinthewalls · 8 months ago

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- The Devil in Pink <3 Acrylic Ink, Highlighter + Colored Pencil on Paper ---------------------------------------------------- Drew my little take on Ghost's mask yesterday at the absolute crack of dawn since I couldn't sleep, but wanted to wait til the global strike was over to post.o7

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chubbygrape · 29 days ago

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I used to draw a lot when I was younger but i gave up on it very early on (my mothers heartbreak)

Since i got my commonplace notebook those I've gone back to sketching (key word: sketching) I refer to it as chicken scratching

I grab the thinnest black pen I got and go to town with it with the harshest lines I can produce and then mess it all up further with stabilos whenever I feel like it. I don't even try to make it look good, the messier and uglier it looks the more I love it, it's so unorthodox tbh but here we are.

Since I post mainly dorohedoro and dai dark here thought to share few of those sketches, which look quite tame compared to the oc stuff i got in other pages where its just BLANK ink and harsh lines identing the paper . Love them sm.

---

Anyways how absolutely freaky is that Avakian?? Every time I flip a page he's just there staring, idk how i made him look so creepy lol

That Hakamori (drhdr devil - pls tell me other ppl know the devils by name and its not only me being insane) I literally drew yesterday. I actually sketched him once on a mini journal, but as I was drawing i noticed how interesting the outfit is??? I literally need to peek into hayashida's brain or her inspo board or smth cause i can never make interesting details in my characters' outfits - like ever. So anyways i redrew him on the commonplace journal cause i wanted to draw more of his outfit (unfort not full body) and then coloured it (my interpretation but i just feel like hed be green ok) as well so theres that.

That yellow Chidaruma is my fav btw - with Black House. Notice how its also the ugliest lol.. but i love it noone can tell me anything.

Lastly -- anyone peep that little lamb? I just redrew this tattoo artists sketch - I dont have any tattoos neither care to get any , but if i ever come across Tattoo Tokki (@tattoo.tokki on ig) (whos in LA so fuck me) im 100% getting a tattoo -- pls check her out her stuff is so sick and so my style i wanttt itttt

#sketching #drawing #commonplace journal #commonplace book #drhdr #dorohedoro #chidaruma #devils dorohedoro #dai dark #tattoo tokki

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oddlyoddman · 2 months ago

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Got bored in class yesterday and drew Benrey (hlvrai)

It's not that good since I also had to focus on the subject

Also ignore the shitty ass paper will ya 😔😔

#art #drawing #doodle #fanart #hlvrai #benrey

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holdupjack · 1 year ago

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The Letter

——————

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader

WARNING: Mild Angst to Fluff

——————

Your P.O.V:

I've been friends with Hermione for years, from Hogwarts, to when she almost married Ron, to now where we share a two-bedroom apartment and where she watches me make dinner.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you how rude it is to stare at Granger?" I ask but her gaze doesn't let up, her eyes seem to be trying to tell me something.

"Can I ask you something Y/n?" She asks and I nod.

"Mione, we've been friends for years, of course you can" I laugh out as I cut the onions.

"Did you ever like Ron?" She asks and my eyes flick towards hers.

I like Ron now, granted I didn't like him when they got together but that's the typical thing, right?

You fall in love with your best friend only to watch someone get to love her the way you want to?

"Of course I do and did," I say but she narrows her eyes.

"You’re lying" she mumbles and I laugh.

"Granger it's not that serious," I say and she gets up from her seat on the island.

Her footsteps are near me as I stare at my now fully cut-up onion.

"I almost married him and you didn't tell me how you really felt," she says and I raise my head looking at her confusingly.

"Hermione, it wasn't my say. What did you want me to do? Tell you that I didn't think he was right for you?" I ask, getting slightly annoyed at the interrogation.

"Who do you think is right for me?" She asks and I groan, putting the cut-up pieces in the boiling pot.

As I set my hands down on the counter, my eyes turn to her hand. My breath gets caught in my throat at the old parchment paper, my mind flashes back to all those years ago.

My stomach flips as I drew closer to Hermione, she was sitting at her usual table at the library.

In my hand was a confession letter, she always told me that she would love it if someone would confess their feelings in a letter so she could keep it forever.

I stop in my tracks as Ron walks next to her and bends down to speak to her.

The way her smile shined and the blush on her cheeks grows, I knew that I hadn't been fast enough.

I quickly turned away and walk out of the library, hiding the paper in my belongings for the years to come.

Haven't seen that paper in a year, since we moved in together.

I'm pretty sure I hid it in my trunk with the rest of my memories from Hogwarts.

"Where did you find that?" I whisper as my eyes keep their gaze on the relic.

"I found it in your old trunk while I was searching for your old house scarf, I couldn't find mine yesterday" she whispers back and I look away, the feeling of embarrassment stabs my stomach.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks and I scoff, looking up at her and turning off the stove.

"How could I? I was a confused kid in love with the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen! I was too late by the time I got the courage, Hermione!" I laugh out, but the tears in my eyes told her how much this was hurting.

"You looked so happy with him...I couldn't do it" I whisper, a tear or two falling from my eyes.

She reaches up and wipes them away, a soft smile played on her lips.

"Y/n, you're so smart but so stupid at the same time" she mumbles and I look at her.

"Yeah, that's really helping at the moment Mione" I mumble back sarcastically and she laughs, pulling me into a hug.

A soft kiss is placed on the crown of my head, as she softly runs her fingertips against the skin of my back.

"I called the wedding off with Ron because I was still in love with you" she whispers and I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing.

"When you told me about your new girlfriend the months before my wedding, I couldn't take it" she whispers again and memories flash through my mind

"Granger! Guess what!" I say with a smile as I walk into the Weasley home.

Her smile shines beautifully as my presence seems to calm her at all the cakes that surround her and Ron.

"Yes?" She asks and I take a seat next to Ginny and her.

"I won't be the sad girl without a date at your wedding!" I say and her smile falls a little.

"What?" Hermione asks and I laugh.

"You know that girl I've been seeing?" I ask and she nods slowly.

"Were official! I asked her to be my girlfriend!" I smiled proudly.

I'm moving on for you.

That's what I thought.

Hermione stares at me dumbfounded but soon smiles.

"Uh...that's great! Yeah..." she mumbles looking down.

The feeling of another kiss planted on my head shakes me from thoughts.

"I hated the thought so much that I called off my own wedding so I wouldn't have to see it" she laughs and I snort.

"Hermione that's a little extreme" I laugh back and she shrugs.

"Okay maybe there was a few other things" she mumbles and I roll my eyes playfully.

Pulling away from her, I smile softly.

"Did you like Daphne?" I ask.

"No, I hated her" she admits and I laugh loudly.

"She was nice, and she understood when I broke it off with her," I say and she groans.

"She tried to get in your pants all the time, I almost used one of the unforgivable curses" she jokes and I roll my eyes.

Suddenly she takes my hands and pulls me to the couch, taking the seat next to me.

"I love the letter, I probably read it a hundred times" she whispers and I smile softly, giving her a chuckle.

"Knowing you, that's not a far probably" I mumble and she giggles, opening the letter.

"Oh, god don't read it to me" I laugh and her smile grows.

"Dear Hermione" she starts and I groan loudly, throwing the pillow over my face.

"I know we've been friends for years, and this is probably quite sudden but I feel like you deserve to know the truth." She continues as I try to suffocate myself from this moment.

"With the threat of war looming over the wizarding world, I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you if I don't make it." Hermione's voice goes soft, too soft for my liking.

"I love you"

"I've always thought my feelings for you would disappear but they only strengthen over the years."

"I know this might destroy our friendship, but at least I told you"

"I can die without regrets... -Y/n" she finishes, I take the pillow off my face and look over at her watery eyes.

"Hermione, don't cry" I whisper and she sniffles, looking back at me.

"Knowing that you almost DID die during the battle and I probably would have never found this...makes me thank whatever higher power for keeping you with me" she whispers back and I smile.

"Can I kiss you?" She asks as crimson overcasts my cheeks, I nod slowly.

Hermione blushes deeply, and leans towards me. I meet her halfway, a soft passionate kiss is shared between us.

The sparks of old feelings reignite between the two of us tenfold.

#harry potter #hermione granger #hermione granger x reader #lesbian #fanfic #angst #fluff

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iwanty0uu · 1 year ago

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“𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑃𝑢𝑚 𝑃𝑢𝑚 𝑁𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑆ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟“~𝓁ℯ𝓁ℯ ✧˚ · . ✧˚ · . ✧˚ · .

pt2…

A day had passed since you met connie in the auditorium of your physics class, and since you didnt have that class everyday, you decided it would be the best spend time in the library getting a head start on a paper. Your fingers quickly moved along your purple keyboard, eyes focused on the screen making sure to not accidentally delete the second page of your assignment. You were good at focusing but the bald boy wouldn’t stop crossing your mind. “hm” you thought to yourself while picking at the piece of paper with his number on it. It took everything in you to not give in and text him last night, but you stayed strong. Your focus shifted back on your paper determined to finish at least three pages as you thought of treating yourself to Starbucks and catching up on your favorite game, the Sims. “I wonder how he’s holding up in class without me” ..

~ he wasn’t holding up at all actually.

Connie grew restless shifting uncomfortably in his seat waiting for you to enter the large metal auditorium doors, he expected a brown head held up high, looking right at him with big eyes that could easily hypnotize anyone, but instead, he was met with the beady rat eyes of a bald, barley blonde old man. His grey tuxedo was made with that itchy string like material, and his black bow tie sat tightly around his fat red neck. He looked as old as time, and the wrinkles on his face made his lizard like face, made it no prettier. Disappointed, Connie continued to reminisce about yesterday. It was too soon to start missing someone he barley communicated with, he just met you and shared more words on paper with you than he did using his mouth. He couldn’t help but regret not searching you down like a hound yesterday when he had the chance.Not making his situation any better, his friends noticed how antsy Connie was and Connie could already smell their lame ass jokes. “Damn connie, you whipped over a girl you just met? You think you alecia keys or something” Jean asked, opening a Poland spring water bottle and putting it to his lips, when he was suddenly met with a fist in his stomach, causing him to choke. “Bro don’t piss me off, circus pony lookin ass, you just mad cus she noticed me and not your long headed ass.” he said mugging Jean who had tears running down his face, holding his stomach from from the pain now doubling over on his chair.” Well fuck you too” he said slapping the back of Connie’s head, the sound echoed through the room making the brunette girl laugh.

“Sasha i know your big ass not laughing” connie said turning around abruptly “my fault gang” a deadpan looked shot across her face as she put her hands up,“no need to be mean best friend” she said patting his shoulder gently. “Somebody pissed in his Henny this morning” Eren mumbled while finishing the last of his brownie. “You taking edibles at 10 in the morning…did you even drink tea?” “ why so sassy bro? we didn’t tell your girlfriend to skip class” A dark skin boy said putting his pre-rolled blunt in the Calvin Klein pouch that rested over his shoulder. “whatever man..” Connie was stressed, and school was no help, everything reminded him of you, he thought every girl with the same orange purse you had on yesterday could have been you, and scanned every room he entered for your black curls, the deep coconut infused scent of vanilla he noticed when you sat in front of him seemed to be everywhere, he smelled it so much that he thought he was going crazy. So when his friend group mentioned a kickback they were throwing, just for some close friends, he hoped desperately that you would be there. After all it was his life long best friend Sasha’s idea, and she did it because she hasn’t seen connie so strung on a girl in years..literally since his freshman year of high school, and what type of friend would she be if she didn’t use her stalking skills to get her friend the girl of his dreams?

She walked into the library holding her phone and computer, sitting next to a girl with grey leggings and a black essentials hoodie. Her nike socks were stretched a over her ankles,bringing out her Military style retro Jordans.

Her puff was slightly covered by her hoodie while the top still peeked out,and her head rested on her arms on the table, it would be awkward to sit directly next to a sleeping person, so she mindfully placed a chair across from her, began to work. “okay, so mystery girl probably lives in the dorms, imma check the residents list first” she mumbled to herself as the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla swarmed her nose. She furrowed her brows as she lowered the computer screen in front of her, which dimmed the light on her brightened face, the sleeping girl sat up and stretched, picking up the paper on the table and placing it into her pocket. “is that her?” Sasha didn’t have time to question herself, but she did question the girl. “Um excuse me?” she said softly, “I’m sorry if i woke you up but like..aren’t you the pretty girl from my physics class yesterday?” as you stopped packing yourself up and looked at her you remembered the brown haired girl who waved to you ,“you didn’t wake me up girl” you smiled, face stretching as a yawn crept out. “oh shit yea i remember youuu whats your insta i wanna be friends” you said pulling your phone out happily. “damn i love her already” Sasha thought to herself almost forgetting about the link up, “Oh! my friends and I are having a kickback later, and i wanted you to come, ill text you the details okay boo?” Your face lit up quickly and you mentally screamed, you had been waiting for this moment for what felt like your whole life, and trusted the girl even though you didn’t know her name, so it wasn’t a surprise that you showed up in your best “i put dat shit on” outfit.

Walking into the house, the heavy scent of weed filled your nose, “damn i hope i don’t smell like an eighth after i leave this shit” you texted your best friend Serenity who laughed at your remark. Your light blue jean skirt hugged your waist and barley covered your ass, as the tied black and white, printed baby tee revealed the curve in your back slightly. Your brand new dior converse glistened as it reflected against the light, your small silver Telfar stood pretty around your chest, separating your breasts. Your curly hair was in the same puff from earlier and silver jewelry adorned your ears,neck, nose, arms, and belly button, you love you some jewelry. Greeted by the brunette, which you now know as Sasha, the rest of the crew said their hellos and you made your way to Connie who was occupied talking to some dudes. Eyes looking up, tongue still on the half rolled blunt, a smile didn’t even creep on his face,it flew naturally into its rightful place. He stood up walking to you, spliff in hand and now all perfectly rolled up. His excitement got ahead of him, he didn’t want to seem desperate which he was, so he pretended to dust of his jeans and slow his pace. “Wassup y/n” he said giving you a side hug, “hey connie” you said taking in his scent, he smelled so sexy, your panties dropped right then and there. “i heard Sasha invited you?” he asked as he motioned for you to follow him,”you drink?” he asked pointing towards the Smirnoff pack resting in the cooler. You grabbed one and leaned on the kitchen counter, heart racing in your chest.

You both talked for what seemed like an hour, mingling with the main group and then finding your way back to connie, you weren’t wasted but felt a buzz from the alcohol and weed, making you a little more impulsive than usual. “hey connie, can i call you con?” you asked innocently, the look in your eye made his body stiffen “of course” he said softly, as soft as he possibly could, you looked so delicate and gentle, and was surprised when your staring contest was forced to an end as you stepped closer to him, tugging on his shirt slightly to reach his level, and kissed him. The taste or alcohol mixed with the sweet vanilla taste of your lipgloss, the kiss deepened as his tongue swiftly moved against your bottom lip asking for an entrance, you felt like only you two were in your own universe. Sasha nudged her friend Mikasa who looked up over the kitchen counter and at your make-out session. “Sasha you need to make this fucker pay you for your elite services” she giggles dapping Sasha up. You slyly pulled away from the kiss getting all shy, and stated quietly “ i want a little more privacy..can we do this somewhere else?” You hoped to go all the way for the first time with Connie, but the reminder of the pudge that sat in front of you almost made you change your mind. You simply decided that if he really liked you, he would deal with all of you, even the parts that you disliked. So as you hesitantly followed connie to an empty room, you sucked up all your fear and hoped for the best.

The night was everything but over.

#attack on titan #black reader #black coded reader #connie x black reader #fem reader #iwanty0uu #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot x black reader #aot connie #aot x you #connie x black y/n #connie springer

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