#silly awful man fun to mess with hehe

[artnerd1123]

it sounded like you have some solid thoughts on dimentio then! may u let me in on da secret knowledge that is ur interpretation of him?

hehe of course!!! >:3

dimentio... listen, this is the guy that shaped my ENTIRE taste in villains. dramatic? theatrical? over the top and a little bit off their rocker? mastermind pulling strings behind the scenes???

... and also kind of a pathetic failboss?

delightful 11/10 i love everything abt them

with this guy specifically, i like to think he's very skilled as a magician! dimension magics are complicated, yet he manages to transport not only himself but objects and OTHER PEOPLE on the regular??? that speaks to a lot of study and honing of skill! evidently he's made himself a large enough asset that bleck keeps him around despite how annoying and nosy he can be. there's respect there that he's garnered.

also! mans knows how to weasel his way into people's good graces! of course, if he doesn't watch himself, he falls out just as easily. his silver tongue is a double edged sword which he often stabs himself with on accident. he just doesn't know how to handle his own wit and can't hold back a comment for the life of him LKSDJF. wordplay is a must and a favorite and if he wasn't in the magic field he would be off writing riddles and poetry for sure >:3

he's EXTREMELY sharp, but sometimes his focus can zero in so completely he misses the obvious. it's not like he forgets other paths exist??? they just fall away completely if he's chosen one. got them blinders on mentally. if he's got an idea in his head there's very little (if anything) that can change it. he needs a very clear cut and LOUD wakeup call to get him to knock off whatever plot he's hatched, or drop whatever subject has snagged his interest.

despite how powerful and clever all this makes him, he's still not the best at casual socializing. mans doesnt know how to NOT be a drama king and if a situation calls for a delicate touch (and not a magical one- an emotional one) he has no clue how to handle it. fumbles that ball all the time, has no clue how to let people get close to him with how tightly he's woven his theatrical appearance. is there even anything left under that mask of his? who knows! not dimentio! don't worry about it go look at this shiny thing and leave him alone :)

[bbokicidal]

Slashers - OT8 [SKZ]

Disclaimers : Just a small post I thought would be fun to make. Also - this is all just for GOOD FUN for the month of October and spooky season. These killers are nasty and awful and we all know that - I am in no way saying the Stray Kids members are represented by these slashers (who are fictional characters remember) and I do not mean to say 'they're exactly like these awful people.' because that's just dumb. Don't go thinking that now. C'mon. Common sense.

Warnings : None really, just horror movie slashers included

If you want a part two of the members as other horror movie characters (maybe finals girls/guys or more recent characters?) lmk!

Bangchan : Michael Myers [Halloween]

Honestly mostly just picked this because of his physique and the way I am so wildly attracted to both of them. But I also just think Chan's got that Lowkey scary dad stance down. Also the way he stands back to watch others. Yes, I know it's lovey dovey towards the group but imagine him as Michael just stalking the others?????? (Why's it kinda hot,,,)

He'd spent months planning his first attack. Hours standing, staring, figuring out the habits and movements of his younger friends until he had all of their mannerisms in his head - memorized like the veins in the back of his hand. He knew who was the weakest link. Who he shouldn't target. Who would be easy to mark off the list. Jisung just had back luck being the first name he put down on his notepad.

Chan as Michael Myers, my beloved.

Lee Know : Billy 'Ghostface' Loomis [Scream]

The actually scary one who's full of determination and purpose. The one who actually gets the job done. The one who does it and does it well. Also, wildly sexy. So. I think Minho fits Billy Loomis best because he can be cunning, secretive, but also charming and wild at the same time. We love him.

Minho wasn't stupid - not like his accomplice. He let Jisung distract people - be the life of the party while he himself lured Felix out to the garage to get a beer or two. He dismissed himself, saying he forgot something in the house, before coming back only to find Felix frightened at first sight and scrambling to escape the outer part of the home. And he felt little remorse as he watched Felix try to squirm out through the doggy door - his thumb clicking the switch to make the garage door slowly raise.

Minho as Billy Loomis, hehe.

Changbin : Pyramid Head [Silent Hill]

Not a 'classic slasher' because he's not the main villain of the story but EASILY the best pic for Changbin because WHEWIE those arms. Also?? Changbin dragging around a giant knife and just picking people up by their necks? Good GAWD. Pyramid Head Binnie (shirtless,, Binnie,,,,,) is a need for me.

He was just there - existing. Wandering. Dragging his knife around until the ground cracked and broke under the weight as he walked. He was just... there. Until someone appeared - a pretty boy with long brunette hair that fought for his life in this hellhole of a place. Someone for him to wander after. Someone for him to target.

Changbin as Pyramid Head <3

Hyunjin : Chucky [Chucky]

Honestly mainly just picked this one because 1) Hyunjin as a doll would be wild lol, and 2) Hyunjin who looks so cute and precious and like a normal man at first but ends up being a wild fucking mass murderer?? That would be,, actually so fitting because he's such a cutie at first and then gets on stage and it's like WHOHOAH--

Finding his soul trapped in the body of a doll was the last thing he wanted to happen after his death - but Hyunjin found that this doll was a lot more flexible than he expected. He could curl his fingers, move his eyes, talk even. It was just like his body before - only harder to break, and a lot... smaller.

Anyway, Hyunjin as Chucky. Also red hair Hyunjin supremacy, I said what I said.

Han : Stu "Ghostface" Macher [Scream]

The silly one that keeps messing up. The one who works hard but still somehow fumbles it. The one that needs help. The one who really got roped into it just because he's massively gay for his best friend.

After botching another murder and making a pact with his friend to frame the girl for their killings, Jisung dug the blade into his friend before Minho did the same. He clutched his stomach and fell to the counter, only moving to grip the phone as it rang just beside his head. He sobbed out another gasp that his parents would be so disappointed in him - another babble from Jisung that Minho didn't have time to deal with.

Jisung as Stu Macher, aka the gay icon of the scream series, everyone.

Felix : Tiffany Valentine [Chucky]

Definitely did not pick this bc of his hair. (oops) Anyway. Just there for the shits n giggles, does it for the person he loves and adores so dearly. Didn't even initially mean to be a part of it but got pulled into it somehow anyway lol. Also an absolute baddie.

How'd he get here? He wasn't too sure. What he did know was that he was glued to his best friend for the rest of his life now, trapped in the small but definitely not fragile bodies of dolls for eternity. He was happy to be there, if he was honest, just enjoying being everlasting with someone he adored. Even if he was put into the body of a ... woman? Well. Doll-Woman.

Felix as Tiffany Valentine. ~

Seungmin : Jason Voorhees [Friday The 13th]

Seungmin as a reoccurring character who experienced nothing but tragedy in his past and now comes back to his place of 'death' every year to haunt people who get so much as a fucking mile from him. LOOOOVE this idea. Love the image of Seungmin just hovering around a Summer Camp and lurking like a little creeper. Also Seungmin with a machete is too much for me, cannot. I gotta go.

Seungmin enjoyed lurking around the camp if he was honest. He found himself feeling joy in watching the camp-goers wander around so clueless as to the tragedy that occurred in the waters they swam in, playing and having too much for his liking. No - He didn't feel joy in watching them have fun. He felt joy in hearing their screams the following night when he made them aware of his presence; when he showed them the truth that lay in the grounds of that poor Summer Camp.

Seungmin as Jason Voorhees. ;))

I.N : Pennywise [IT]

Not a classic slasher yet again BUT one of the best in my personal opinion. (It's one of my fav horror movies so.) I think Jeongin fits Pennywise because of his teasing nature, the way he finds it funny when he irks his hyungs, etc. I also think he has a relatively short -- temper? Temper might not be the right word. Maybe patience is right. He's impatient and if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll snap. Also the idea of shapeshifter Jeongin?? Torturing people by showing up as their literal living nightmares? Yum yum yum.

Jeongin was hungry. Starved, even. Twenty seven years after falling into a slumber, he'd awoke under a quaint town that offered up so many delicious meal options - which included a very pretty man more muscular than the others - who, conveniently, was a bit of a scaredy cat.

Jeongin as Pennywise !!

-

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren

[itjazzbicch]

Giving in

Pairing:  Smoker x Lieutenant!Fem Reader 

First time writing for Smoker, so I hope I did well! 

Summary: Returning to the Marines after an injury and reuniting with her vice admiral, Smoker, the reader convinces him to have a fun night where they both give in to some hidden thoughts...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Swearing, drinking/drunk sex, unprotected sex, use of devil fruit powers (in a good way *wink*), oral M receiving

Word Count: 1.5k 

“Where do you think you’re going, huh?!”

Awe, poor Smokey didn’t catch these pirates in one swoop? He must’ve lost his touch a little while I was gone.

His footsteps seized in the dark alley, taking guard and thinking he was facing another threat as I fell from a balcony, giving a quick pound to those bandits, my voice making him ease up:

“There’s no point in running. So, quit your squirming!”

“Y/N?” Guess Smokey needed to see me to believe it, getting just that as I showed my face in the sunlight, smiling at him:

“Hey, Smokey! Did ya miss me? Hehe!”

“When did you get out of the infirmary?” A couple of weeks back, I got tangled in a mess with some big-time pirates; I got shot in the process, so I was out of commission, but I was back and happy to see Smokey, keeping my explanation short:

“Yesterday!”

“Are you fully recovered?” Of course, he had more questions, playing off with a swat of my hand:

“I’m like new. Don’t worry about me. Let’s worry about these punks, huh? Looks like you lost your touch while I was gone.”

“Yeah, right,” He rolled his eyes at me, blowing smoke from his cigars, coming and helping me take in the bandits I caught.

It took some persuasion, but we had nothing important on our agenda when we were done, so I talked him into going and getting some drinks.

Believe it or not, Smokey knew how to have some fun. We lost track of time in the bar, having more rounds than I probably should have, but I was all smiles.

“Oh man, Smokey!” I laughed while he told me some things that happened while I was gone, holding his knee from wheezing but smiling at him, “I missed you! I’m so happy I’m out of that damn infirmary. It was starting to drive me mad.”

“Missed you too, you silly drunk,” He teased, standing up and wrapping one of my arms around him.

“Awe, we’re ending the party already?!” I pouted but followed, pouting more at his words:

“You’ll live. We got work to do tomorrow, and the last thing I need is a hung-over lieutenant.”

“Okay, okay,” I sighed, heading back to our temporary headquarters, resting against his chest, picking my head up to smile, “I had fun tonight, and I promise you, I’m better than ever. You won’t have to worry about me, alright?”

I knew that the news of me getting fatally wounded worried him when he first learned about it, but that was in the past. Wanting it to stay there and look forward to the future, kissing his cheek as I cooed softly:

“Goodnight, Vice-admiral.”

Just when I thought it was time to call it a night, things took a wild turn that I didn’t see coming, his lips finding mine before I could turn away.

Despite the bitter taste of lingering liquor and cigars, just that tiny kiss made my blood run hot, and I was surprised by the softness of his lips.

Pulling back and standing up straight, I kept blinking, trying to process that he just kissed me. He was doing the same. It was clear that he subconsciously gave in to some thoughts.

“Y/N, I-“

“Wrong or right,” I whispered, needing a breath, hands gripping his jacket, the desire for more settling into my eyes and voice, “You should do that again. What harm would it do?”

“Ugh,” He sighed, debating before giving into his thoughts, mumbling while returning to my lips, “Screw it.”

He was always so uptight and liked to stay professional, but the way he kissed me and gripped my hips showed that he couldn’t fight it, backing me into my room, koala hugging him with my tongue roaming his mouth, the groan he let out with a tight squeeze of my thighs making me giggle:

“Relax a little, Smokey. You did kiss me first, by the way.”

“You know something?” Clinging to the back of his neck while he threw off his jacket, I only cocked my eyebrow at him, suddenly sunk into the mattress from his weight, a little hard to breathe as he kissed, “You talk too much.”

His kiss was so hot, our hips started to grind against one another. It only took moments for me to lose any damns that I gave.

“Oh, it’s like that?” I panted, finding room between kisses to start throwing off my clothes, hands roaming over his muscles and down to his belt buckle, just for my wrists to be taken by smoke and pinned above my head.

All he did was chuckle at me, his devil fruit powers keeping me still, only able to watch the little show presented to me as his pants and briefs disappeared, the sight of him fully nude making me pant again:

“You’re lucky that you’re so hot.”

“That right?” He chuckled, fixing himself between my legs, gasping at his cock, stretching me, bodies radiating massive heat.

“So hot!” I whined, responding to his actions rather than his words, shaking just from being fed his tip, hips working to give me more.

“Lost that sass of yours pretty quick,” Taunting me put a giant smirk on his face, never seeing me so submissive to anything, hand squeezing and fondling my breasts as they bounced from his thrusts, my back arching from the nudges against my sweet spot, lips glistening as I babbled out:

“A-Alright! I get it! Jus-; Ugh, keep makin’ me feel g-good!”

At that moment, our little teasing game ended, his smoke disappearing and freeing my hands, coming closer and letting me get the contact I needed, having my knees almost touch my shoulders, thrusting his cock deeper, and quickly learning why I gave up the attitude.

“You’re so fucking good, Smokey-y, uh! Ahh!”

Not having my needs fulfilled in such a long time just to be rammed by these sudden bursts of pleasure had my ears ringing, all those drinks from earlier catching up to me and making me feel as if I were on a different planet or something.

Hearing a gush before feeling such a wet mess down my thighs and ass, Smokey showed some care as he slowed his pace, leaving some kisses on my neck as he asked:

“Still feeling good?”

“Mhm,” I huffed before looking to meet his gaze with my puppy dog eyes, “One more time?”

“Sure you can handle it?”

“Want me to prove myself or something?” There was no denying that he had me down pretty good at that moment, but if I had to hop into the driver seat, I’d be more than happy to, taken off guard by his tender whisper:

“That’s okay, sweetheart. You’re gonna get one more round.”

“O-Oh! Oh shi-“ Wrapping around and clinging to him again, I didn’t realize how hard I was squeezing his cock till he lifted me in a hug, throwing his hips upward, and the friction along with the blow I felt in the pit of my stomach nearly took me out.

“Literally fucking you senseless, huh?” Seeing that I was practically drooling on his shoulder, only up and still to his strength, his words gave me some energy, another rush that would lead me to another great mountain of bliss.

Getting a hold of myself to the best of my abilities, I held his face, kissing while slipping off my tongue:

“Don’t count me out just yet.”

Kissing was barely holding back my moans while throwing myself down onto his cock and meeting his thrusts, feeling a pinch as both made him go deeper, but not daring to stop as I felt pressure building up heavily.

Even he couldn’t hold back the groans and rumbles in his chest, feeling his biceps tense up, fingertips nearly digging into the meat of my ass, cock slightly throbbing.

“Just a little more,” I moaned like an Angel in his ear, hugging his head and pushing my aching hips through this one last crusade, “I’m cuming again!”

The moan coming out of me was cut to silence the second my orgasm released with a tight clench around his cock, even messier than the first time; not sure if I was even breathing while becoming limp against him.

“Damn it, Y/N,” I heard him whisper with a rumble, placing me off his cock carefully, his hand quickly holding himself just for me to take it, putting it on my head.

On my stomach, I still had it in me to wrap my lips around the tip of his cock, pumping his shaft with a faint wrist, but still had enough to make his cock throb hard, mouth flooded with his seed, looking up to show I swallowed without a drop missed, kissing his tip and licking up what little oozed from his slit.

“F-Fuck,” His heavy breaths fell onto me with his hand forming a fist in my hair; I batted my eyelashes at him, being a little sassy again:

“It’s the least I can do.” 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome 

[mermaid--bride]

Diabolik Lovers || Dark Waters - Maria Maniac Route [Maniac 3]

--Scene starts in the school’s library

Maria: Haah... I can’t concentrate...

(No matter what I try, my mind keeps going back to Laito-kun.)

(This is so messed up... What has he done to me...)

???: Eeeh? Why are you crying, M-Kurage-chan~?

Maria: Hm? Kou-kun?

--Kou appears

Kou: You look so silly over there in tears... What happened to you?

Maria: It’s... nothing important, really...

Kou: Eeeh that’s no good, M-Kurage-chan~

Come on, don’t lie. It’s about Laito-kun, isn’t it?

Maria: ...!?

Kou: Hehe did I get it right? I knew it.

Honestly, I’m not surprised. The way he treats you always looks like you’re nothing but a toy to him.

Maria: ... Yeah...

(I didn’t think it was that obvious... I wonder if more people noticed it...)

Kou: Aw come on, there’s no need to look so gloomy!

Here, I have an idea! Why don’t you come live with us instead?

Maria: With you...?

Kou: Yeah! We are much better company than those Sakamaki guys!

Maria: ... ...

(Am I allowed to do that...? But then I’d be leaving Laito-kun behind...)

(That should be good right? After all he’s the reason I’ve been crying so much ever since I arrived to Japan.)

Maria: Well... I don’t know... I’d have to talk to Sakamaki-san first, since he’s the one who sent me there.

Kou: Oh you mean that man? Don’t worry about it. Me and my brothers can communicate to him about it as soon as you move. I’m sure it would be ok.

Maria: Ah... well...

(Why is my heart so heavy right now...?)

... I’m sorry... I need to think about it.

Kou: Eh? Do you really? I thought you’d take the offer right on the spot!

Could it be you actually enjoy being toyed with?

Maria: No I don’t...!

Kou: Are you sure? Do you like it when Laito-kun bites you~?

Maria: I... don’t...

(I dislike it less than I used to, but...)

Kou: Don’t lie to me, M-Kurage-chan~?

Maria: (Is his eye glowing...?)

I’m not lying!

Kou: Then you should have no problem moving in with us, right? That way you wouldn’t have to worry about Laito-kun anymore!

That’s what you want... right~?

Maria: I... ... Excuse me.

--Maria runs out of the library

Kou: My my... Fufu she’s more fun than I expected.

*Timeskip*

--In the school hallway

Kou: Haaaah~ Today was so exhausting...

Ruki: Kou, how did it go?

Kou: Hm? Ah you mean the thing with M-Kurage-chan?

Well, she seems more tamed than we thought. She was very hesitant to take my offer, even after  mentioned that man.

Ruki: Good grief... He did tell us that could be the case...

We must do everything in our power to separate those two.

Every second they spend together is a risk for that man’s wish to possess the woman.

Kou: I wonder though... why would he choose someone like her? She looks like any other nerdy human to me.

Ruki: His reasons are none of our concern. Simply focus on our mission and convince her to come with us.

Kou: Right~ Don’t worry about it.

She will soon belong to that man, rather she wants it or not. I will make sure of it.

--End of Maniac 3

[ptergwen]

heartbreaker

warnings: angst, swearing, drinking, and smut OK WOW

summary: never have i ever with your ex and current boyfriends is an interesting experience

a/n: excuse me for taking such a long ass time on this but super big shoutout to whoever requested it for being patient <3 i’ve been trying to write what y’all would actually be interested in so don’t be shy tell me what you want to read!! also italics are flashbacks and as always i hope everyone enjoys hehe

-

“never have i ever...” harry purses his lips and looks around at your table, “cheated on schoolwork. successfully.” everyone easily takes a sip of their beers, except harrison. you snort and tilt your bottle to where he’s sitting across from you.

“haz, how are you the only one?” “because this div used to copy all my shit in year eleven, and i’d be the one to get in trouble for it.” he elbows tom’s side, tom nudging him back. “should’ve turned yours in first, bro.” rolling his eyes, harrison bends the rules of the game by sipping his drink.

their silly bickering makes you realize how much you’ve missed hanging out with the boys like this. it makes you realize you how much you’ve missed the boys in general. the last time you even saw tom, really saw him, was for a catch up lunch. you had to rush it because he was in between onward press junkets.

before that was the day he left to film cherry, almost a year ago. it’s not at all something you like to remember. dwelling will just set you back, and you’ve come too far to let that happen. as far as one can go when the person they gave their whole heart to breaks it.

now you have luke, and tom has anyone in the world he wants. it’s a new relationship. you’ve only been seeing luke for about three months. you met him while buying some post-breakup ice cream. he randomly started a conversation with you on the line. you bonded over your hatred for chocolate and ended up trading numbers. since you’re slowly getting more serious, you invited luke to the pub tonight.

the meet the friends stage is an important one, and it’s not often that one of your closest would be available for it. tom’s thoughts and opinions still mean a lot to you. you’ll always love him, even if it’s not in the same way you once did. you know he’ll always love you right back. that’s why he did what he did in the first place. that’s what he told you, at least.

you spot luke searching for your table in the pub not too much later. sitting up straighter for him to see you, you wave him over. none of the boys knew that he was coming tonight, so you’re a bit nervous about what they might say. you just hope they’ll like each other as much as you like all of them.

“hey, y/n.” luke leans down and kisses your cheek. you smile up at him, scooting over in the booth to give him room to sit. you’re in between him and tom now. it’s pretty metaphorical if you think about it. “hi. good day?” “yeah, and super busy. i’m luke,” he reaches out his hand for any of the boys. harrison gives him a friendly shake. you haven’t noticed the way tom has been looking at you this whole time.

it’s like he wants to say something, but he’s biting his tongue.

harry shakes luke’s hand, then tom. he uses a firm grip paired with his signature lips pressed together smile. “good to meet you, man. what do you do again?” “i’m in journalism, so mostly chase people around all day.” tom clicks his tongue in a way that sounds like he approves. you’re not exactly sure what’s going through his head at the moment, but it seems to be good things so far.

“he’s just taking the piss. your writing is seriously amazing, luke. don’t downplay it.” you lean into the arm he outstretches across the back of the booth. he lets his hand move to your shoulder and pulls you in closer.

tom stares down at the floor. his leg bounces next to yours, one of his nervous habits you’ve become familiar with. picking up on his brother’s mood change, harry clears his throat to change the subject.

“let’s keep playing never have i ever. we were enjoying that earlier.” “great, i’ll go get everyone another round,” harrison volunteers himself and takes off for the bar. that was obviously his way of escaping the sudden awkwardness that came about.

you tap tom’s foot lightly with your own, making him look up at you. “doing okay over there?” “‘’m fine. my jetlag picked a bad time to act up, is all,” he lamely excuses himself and shifts the tiniest bit away from you.

you’ve seen jetlagged tom plenty of times, and this isn’t him. something else is clearly on his mind. you’d call him out on it and have a heart to heart, but it isn’t your place to do that anymore. you’re both still adjusting to the whole friends thing. it’s going to take time to get back to how close you were, especially with different boundaries in place.

harrison comes back with fresh beers and sets them down on the table. each of you grab one. tom immediately chugs half of his without bothering to wait for the game to continue. you’re not in the mood to watch him act like this, so you turn to face luke. that only encourages him to drink some more. harry is the one who steps in and pulls his bottle away.

“easy there, alcoholland. you gotta save some for when we play.” “right.” tom wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes already glossy. this isn’t how tonight was supposed to go.

“speaking of,” harrison starts, overly cheerful to make up for the way his friend is behaving. “it’s my turn.” “go for it,” you force a smile at him and swish the beer around in your glass. “this’ll definitely be good. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.”

the heat that rises to your cheeks gives you away before you can take a sip. with a shit-eating grin, tom snatches his beer out of harry’s hand. “gonna need this back, baby bro.” you shyly pick up your drink, tom and harrison being the only others who are guilty. harrison clinks his glass with yours, then you’re both gulping down your poison.

luke playfully raises his eyebrows at you when you’re finished. “i’m sorry, y/n, but i have to hear this story. you went skinny dipping?” cockiness absolutely oozing out of him, tom cuts in. “we went together, actually. i can help her tell this one.”

you spare everybody the explicit details of what happened, but it isn’t hard to guess them. tom is thankfully mature enough in the moment to not reveal much. now that luke knows the story, it feels like there’s tension between him and tom. he’s just too nice to let it show.

taking notes from tom, you impulsively finish off the rest of your drink in hopes of clearing your mind. you earn looks of concern from everyone except the man of the hour. he’s enjoying messing with you.

“that was a fun night, huh?” tom smirks at you. you close your eyes and rub your temples. sensing how off everything is, harrison leaves the table again to get you another drink. he sure has a talent for that.

you’re not sure why tom has to be such an ass tonight of all nights. you’ve already told him about you and luke before, actually he was the first person to know. he should’ve expected to meet him at some point. maybe then, his coping mechanism wouldn’t be getting drunk and making both of you look stupid.

“you okay?” luke nudges your shoulder with his hand. you give him a tight lipped smile. “yeah. sorry about all of that.” “no, it’s fine. i’m a big boy.” he glances over at tom, who’s poking harry’s cheek with a spoon. jesus christ.

harrison brings over another beer for you and a water for tom. you take your drink and push tom’s over to him. he decides to be immature and drops the spoon to switch your glasses. drunk tom is a child.

“are you serious right now? you need to learn when to cut yourself off.” you switch them again, taking a sip of your beer before tom can take it from you. he huffs and drinks his water like you said. you’re only doing this because you care about him. he’s probably too gone at the moment to understand that. if he’s going to think you’re a buzzkill for helping him out, oh well.

“so, babe,” luke makes a point to stress the word, “how about you do the next round of the game?” he leans into you again. you still haven’t taken your eyes off of tom.

“sure,” you agree absentmindedly. “um, never have i ever...” tom smiles lazily at you when he notices you’re looking at him. you forgot that drunk tom is also cute, but you’re not supposed to think that way anymore. not about him. you clear your throat. “never have i ever given myself a really bad hairstyle?”

everybody takes a drink this time, tom finishing his water. you’ve styled your hair in so many awful ways so many times, but only one comes to mind. it’s technically tom’s fault.

-

“come on, y/n/n, let me do it. i’ll even say please. please?” tom all but begs you for the third time. you look up at him from your phone to see him making puppy eyes at you. saying no to those is physically impossible.

you’ve been on hold with your hair salon for almost half an hour trying to make an appointment. they’re normally never this busy, but you really need to go. a person can only let their ends become so split.

for some reason, tom decided he wants to be a hairdresser today. he keeps offering to cut your hair for you instead. you’re not so sure you trust him with scissors, but he won’t stop asking about it unless you let him try. plus, this could be interesting.

you end the call with a sigh. perking up, tom grabs your hands. “so? that’s a yes?” “don’t make me regret this, tom.” he pulls you off the couch by your hands and leads you straight to the bathroom.

“should we wash it first? i think that’s what they do.” he turns on the sink, then goes into the shower to get your hair products. you lean back against the counter and watch him set up. you’re starting to feel kind of nervous about this. tom is usually good at everything he attempts, but something as permanent as a haircut, you’re not sure about.

“relax a bit, darling. you’ll be fine.” tom ruffles your hair with his fingers, making you crinkle your nose. “if it looks bad, no i won’t.” “it’s just hair.” he gets a towel off the rack and drapes it around your shoulders. you look at your hair in the mirror one more time, then lean back so your head is under the faucet. “you’re the one who uses a bottle of hair gel every day.”

“anyways,” you can hear the eye roll in tom’s voice. “let me know if the water’s too hot or too cold.” “nah, it’s good.” he opens your shampoo and squirts some into his hand. “see, i know what i’m doing.” you hum in response, tom’s fingers combing through your hair to make sure it’s wet enough.

you lift your head up from the water so tom can do the shampoo. it feels good, like you’re getting a massage but on your scalp. tom notices your small smile as he eases you down to rinse it out. “enjoying yourself?” you open an eye to see a smug look on his face. “for now, yeah.”

after all the shampoo is gone, tom starts with conditioner. he pulls all your hair to one side and runs through it with a brush a few times. you’re honestly impressed he knows what he’s doing. he must have learned from watching you do your own hair. he puts in the conditioner and twirls a loose strand of hair around his finger, letting it sit for a bit.

“i’ll admit it, you’re actually good at this,” you reach up and poke at his chest. tom pokes your cheek back, then gathers all of your hair again. “mm, thanks. you should let me do your hair for you more often.” “that’ll depend on if you can cut it.” with a chuckle, he lets the ends of your hair fall under the water again.

your hair all washed, tom helps you stand back up. he takes the towel from over your shoulders and uses it to scrunch your hair up. it falls over your face. you know he’s trying to do it so it stays in place, but that’s not what’s happening.

“i’ll do this part, babe,” you laugh to yourself and flip your head over. “pfft, yeah, i was totally gonna try that next,” tom jokes, searching through a drawer for scissors while you wrap your hair. he opens and closes them before dropping them on the counter.

“wanna sit? i don’t know how long this’ll take.” “oh, god. sure.” tom easily lifts you up by your waist and sits you on the counter. you giggle a little at the gesture. he’s full of surprises today. “there you are, m’lady. let’s get started.” he takes the towel off your head and squeezes your hair out with it one more time. pouting, you grab a few strands. “i’ll miss you guys so much.”

��stop it, i’m not even cutting that much off,” tom groans and stands in between your legs. you put your hands on his shoulders. “that’s the plan, but knowing you, you’ll end up giving me, like, a mohawk.” “you think i know how to do that?” your legs wrap around his waist, scooting yourself closer to the edge of the counter. “i hope not.”

tom wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a wicked smile. you probably should’ve asked him to section off your hair so he could cut it evenly, but it slipped your mind. he splits your hair in half the best he can and picks up the scissors. you’re facing him, so you can’t see what he’s about to do in the mirror.

“i’m gonna count to three, okay? one, two, three.” tom takes half of your hair and starts cutting it in a straight line, which is already a problem. it ends up creating this weird zigzag look that can’t be saved by just him. he realizes his mistake after he’s already holding your hair. “oh, shit..” he puts down the scissors and covers his mouth with his free hand. your eyes go wide. “what? what did you do?”

“i- i, um, we can fix it,” he tries, backing away before you freak out. you hop off the counter and turn around to see what happened. it’s long in the back and too short in the front. how did he mess up this bad in not even two minutes? you gasp and touch your disaster of a haircut.

“tom, what is this? it looks... i don’t even know what to say!” you spin back around, pointing at your half cut hair. he winces when he sees it again. “i’m so sorry, y/n/n. i thought-“ “no, you didn’t! you thought nothing! your mind literally must have been empty.” you sit on the floor with your head in your hands, tom crouching down in front of you.

“look at me, darling.” he puts a hand on your back. you scowl up at him. “it’s really not that bad. you’ll figure out a way to make this work.” “you’re so helpful,” you mumble, leaning your head forward so it’s resting on his chest. you’re being dramatic. he was trying to do something nice for you, and it’s not like this was on purpose. tom rubs circles on your back, you nuzzling your cheek into his shirt.

“should i leave the other side, or would that be worse?” “i can do it for you.” “absolutely not.”

-

“i could only wear my hair up for months because of you,” you laugh to tom, warming up to him again from the memory. he puffs some air out of his cheeks with a smile. “be happy you didn’t ask for bangs.” “that’s because i’d never be able to pull them off.” tom messes with your hair so it’s over your eyes, you pushing his hands away with a breathy laugh. “not true.”

luke shifts in his spot next to you to remind you he still exists. you glance over at him and move your hair out of your face. “um, what was yours?” “i dyed my hair orange once. ginger definitely isn’t my look,” he jokes. it seems like he’s just trying to compete with tom now. you muster up a small chuckle for him anyway.

“tom, you haven’t gone yet,” harry points out, picking up his glass. tom considers the fact for a second. “true, but it’s not much fun if i don’t get to drink. can i get another since i’m behaving?” he juts his bottom lip out at his brother. harrison lets out a long sigh. “mate, i really don’t feel like getting up again. take a break.”

you slide your beer over to tom without a second thought. “you can share mine.” he looks at you like you said something wild. “are you sure we should do that?” he’s clearly referring to luke and how he might take it. at this point, it doesn’t matter to you. luke has been acting off since you started playing, and you’re not going to let him ruin your time with your friends.

you shrug your shoulders and tap the glass. “i’m the one who suggested it. drink up.” he hesitates, but takes it.

“ok, never have i ever gotten kicked out of somewhere.” harrison shakes his head and harry rests his chin in his hand, bummed he can’t drink. luke raises his hands up in surrender. that leaves you and tom. you know exactly what he’s thinking about right now. he takes a sip of your beer and hands it back to you, you finishing off the rest of it.

-

tom brought you to a super fancy restaurant for date night. it’s one of those places that has their own dress code and mood lighting. here you are, sat across from him in your most uncomfortable pair of heels and picking at course three of your meal; a bland salad. tom isn’t thrilled with it either, so you don’t feel too bad.

you rarely get the chance to go out for dinners like this because of tom’s ever-growing schedule, so you’re giving this place a try to make up for it.

“i wanna ask if they have dressing, but i’m scared i’ll get yelled at,” you murmur to tom, stabbing a piece of lettuce with your fork. he bites his cheek. your look of disgust makes a giggle slip out of him. “try holding your breath so you don’t taste it,” tom suggests, fiddling with a button on his jacket to stall from eating.

you take a big gulp of water in hopes of cleansing your tastebuds. tom looks at you from over his cup, doing the same. it’s so hard to take this seriously. “i know you wanted to take me somewhere nice, baby, but this kinda sucks.” you whisper the last part. “you’re right. i’ve heard great things about their dessert, though.”

“we’d find out if they didn’t take five years to serve us every course,” you laugh a little too loud at your own joke. an older woman with diamonds around her neck shoots you a glare. tom finally cracks, joining in your laughter over the situation. your waiter comes back at that moment, and he’s less than pleased by the behavior from both of you.

“is everything okay over here?” he asks sharply. “we’re, uh, we’re fine. thank you,” tom hides his laugh with a cough and makes an overly serious face. your waiter places a check on the table. “we didn’t ask for this yet,” you tell him politely. “i’ve heard several complaints about you two throughout your meal, so i’m going to have to ask you to leave.” he explains, handing you a pen to sign the check.

tom’s fake serious face is now a real serious face.

“you can’t-“ “let us pay for what we had, and we’ll be on our way.” you take tom’s arm from across the table. he would’ve pulled the ‘do you know who i am?’ card without you stopping him. your waiter walks away and goes to serve someone else.

“i can’t believe they’re kicking us out. this is so unfair,” tom complains, but gets out his wallet. he grabs the pen from you to take care of everything. “to be fair, we were being pretty annoying. we didn’t even like our food,” you try to reason.

tom does his signature and leaves money on the table. he’s going to be sulking about this the rest of the night. you stand up with your arm still linked in his and walk him over to the exit. he squeezes you closer to him on your way to the car.

“that was disappointing,” tom speaks again once you’re in the car. he rests a hand on your thigh. you put yours on top of his. “and funny. the only thing is, i’m still hungry.” “yeah? how about we go for burgers?”

you’re in the mcdonald’s parking lot eating your second dinner not too much later. it’s a lot better than your first. your heels are kicked off, your feet on the dashboard while you and tom eat and listen to your favorite songs.

tom steals one of your fries and shoves it in his mouth, sticking his tongue out at you after. that earns him a flick from you. “you have your own fries, weirdo!” “yours taste better somehow. here, i’ll trade you.” he lifts the bun off his burger so you can have his pickles. he knows you so well.

“can i tell you something?” tom asks all of a sudden. you stop eating and turn down the radio with a nod. “i know this isn’t as cool as fine dining, but i’m happy we get to have these moments together. wish they could last a little longer,” tom admits to you while staring out the window. you bring his hand up to your lips and kiss it.

“i’ve had so much fun tonight, and every night i spend with you. i don’t care about some gross rich people food. the only thing that matters is is being together, okay?” tom grins at your words, then leans forward and presses his lips to yours. it’s a short but sweet kiss. it’s a kiss that says the words he doesn’t have. “love you, y/n. thank you.” “i love you.”

-

you and tom are doubled over, giggling like kids with your heads bent together. you’re both pretty buzzed from your drink. you try to get yourself together, but he makes eye contact with you and you bust into another fit of laughter. even harry and harrison join in. it’s nice to finally have all of you getting along.

“i think it’s time to head out,” luke announces, moving to get up from the booth. you turn to him and wipe under your eyes. “oh, ok. i’ll text you later?” “you’re not coming?” he sounds more bitter than surprised. “i’m gonna get a ride back with tom when he’s ready to drive. it’s too early for me.”

luke fully sits himself back down and places his almost full glass in front of tom. all the boys are looking at you, but you have no idea what‘s happening. “why’d you do that?” you ask just to him. “i’ve changed my mind. i’m staying for another round of the game.”

you have a bad feeling about whatever he’s going to say. he’s been salty about you and tom all night, as if he didn’t know you’re still friends. it’s not like him at all. not the him you thought you knew, anyway.

“never have i ever,” luke intentionally directs the question at tom, “broken up with the most amazing girl so i could make shitty movies and fuck models. i wonder who’s done that.”

everyone stays silent. you could swear you’ve just been knocked sober. tom gets up from the table without a word, not bothering to wait for harry and harrison to move. he ignores them telling him not to go and steps over them. he’s out the nearest exit of the pub before anyone can stop him. you want to go after him, but you’re stuck in the middle of the booth.

your ‘boyfriend’ put his jealousy before your feelings for the last time tonight.

“what the fuck, luke?”

-

“are you sure you have everything? you remembered all your stuff from security?” you hold tom’s hand impossibly tighter as you get close to his gate.

he leaves today to film cherry in the states. you’re dropping him off at the airport like you always do, but something feels different about this time. it seems like a more permanent goodbye.

“mhm, it’s all here.” tom squeezes your hand back. you stop walking when you reach the sign that has his gate number on it. this is it. the last time you’ll see him for who knows how long? he stands his suitcase up off to the side and moves so he’s in front of you.

his arms are around your neck now, hugging you so close. you wind your arms around him so there’s no space between you two. he rests his chin on your shoulder, letting out a breath. “gonna miss you so much, baby. fuck, i hate this.” “it’s okay, tom. we’ve done it before. we’ll be okay.” you’re trying to convince yourself and him.

he pulls back from you and holds you by your waist. you stay flush against his chest, grabbing on to his hoodie. you don’t trust yourself to look at him right now.

“y/n, i can’t keep doing this to you,” tom says into your ear, his voice oddly steady for such a big thing to say. “doing what? you mean your job?” your fingers play with his hoodie strings. “i’ll be fine. i always am.” “that’s the thing. i don’t want you to just be fine all the time.” he can’t be saying what you think he is. you shake your head against him.

“you should be happy. it’s not fair that i make you settle for less.” “tom, stop.” you move off of him completely, your throat getting tight. “we’ve already talked about this. you do make me happy, even if it’s from another country sometimes. i don’t care.” he takes your hand again.

“this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while, honestly. it’ll be good for both of us.” “i- what are you trying to say?” tears are already clouding your vision. tom lets go of you. “we need to break up, y/n.”

you can feel your entire heart shatter into millions of tiny little pieces. this isn’t happening. not now. not ever. he’s not leaving you so easy.

you’re crying in the middle of the airport for everyone to see, and tom isn’t too far behind you. “i thought you loved me,” you manage to get out. tom chokes back his tears and wipes yours instead, his thumbs running over your cheeks. “i do, angel. i love you so much that it’s hurting me to say goodbye.” “then why can’t we make it work? please,” you lean into his touch for probably the last time.

“because you deserve more. i’m away all the time, and there are things i can’t give you. you deserve someone who’s here for everything.” tom’s fingers trail down to grab your chin gently, you looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

“i want more for you, y/n.” “i have you. that’s all i want, tom.” neither of you say anything for a good minute. tom almost gives in, you can see it. you whimper when he grabs the handle of his suitcase instead.

“this is because i love you. i... i need you to understand that.” his voice is soft. you wish he could’ve done this way earlier since he was planning on it. “it’s all happening so fast.” tears are dripping down your cheeks and chin. you want to reach for tom, but there’s no point. his mind is made up. an announcement plays through the airport that tom’s flight is boarding.

“i really don’t wanna leave you like this, but i have to go. i’ll call you after i land, okay?” who are you to stop him now? “o- okay. be safe.” tom presses a kiss to your forehead, letting it linger for a few seconds. he puts his hood up and turns around. you watch him walk to his gate. this is the first time he’s left you without looking back.

you start making your way to the parking lot as soon as he’s gone. it takes everything in you not to scream and sob the whole way back. none of this feels right. if you both still love each other, you should be together.

after the longest walk of your life, you get back to your car. you break down all over again.

-

“i’m trying to help you, y/n. it seems like you forgot what he put you through,” luke scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. you can’t believe how he’s acting. “let’s talk about this somewhere else. sorry, guys,” you smile awkwardly at harrison and harry. harry waves you off. “it’s okay. we understand.”

luke gets out of the booth, you following behind and leading him over to an empty corner in the pub. your smile fades. “that was fucked up, luke. we didn’t end things for his career. you know that.” “not officially, but it definitely helped.” does he not realize how crappy that sounds? like you were holding him back?

“you’re wrong. i told you exactly what happened. everything you’re saying is some weird story you made up in your head.” “then he should’ve said that for himself.” you throw your hands up in the air. “you made him fucking uncomfortable! i would’ve left, too.” luke laughs bitterly. “he’s really good at that, you know. leaving.”

“he did it because he loves me. fuck you for joking about it, like it wasn’t something that took me a really long time to get over. it’s sad that my past makes you jealous.” there’s a beat of silence before luke says anything. “do you still love him, y/n?” you both already know the answer. “well?” “yeah. yeah, i do.” you push past him and go out the door tom left from. luke doesn’t bother following.

you’re ready to start searching for tom, but he ends up being right outside. he’s leaning against the side of the building. his head snaps up when the door opens. “didn’t mean to scare you.” you walk over to him. he sniffles and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “‘s alright. rather you than someone else.” “tom, i’m-“ “don’t apologize.”

“i have to. the things luke said to you were really gross, and i hate that i didn’t stop him.” you take a step closer to him. “you couldn’t have predicted anything he said.” tom gives you a tight lipped smile. “he’s... not the kind of person i thought he was.” “he’s a bit of a dick, to be honest.” you giggle a little at that. you’re just relieved tom isn’t taking this too hard.

“so, he didn’t pass the friends test. i guess that’s okay since things are kind of over between us.” tom finally meets your eyes, furrowing an eyebrow. “why? what happened?” “i cursed him out. said some pretty mean stuff.” he holds out an arm for you. you let him put it around you, instantly settling into his warmth. you’ve needed this.

“you can do better. he seemed too boring for you, anyway.” you shrug your shoulders with a small smile. “i wanted to talk to you about that. i’m not really sure how to say this, so i’ll just... say it.” tom’s heart is beating so fast you can feel it next to you. “yeah?”

you turn to face him, his arm still around you. “i haven’t stopped loving you. this is bad timing because you’re about to go film uncharted, and it’s out of no where, but i thought i should tell you. it might not mean anything now-“ “come with me.” you’re both shocked by each other’s words. you laugh in disbelief, tom nodding to urge you to say yes.

“for real? you want me to go?” “i wanna work on us, and i’m not making you wait any longer. i was stupid for ever giving up. we can figure everything out, and it would only be for the summer-“ now it’s your turn to cut him off, your lips crashing into his. his eyes flutter closed as he kisses you back. he grabs your arms and both of you pull back to catch your breath.

tom kisses you again, this time softer. you smile against his lips. “god, i’ve missed doing that. i really, really love you, y/n.” “i really love you, tom.”

and just like that, he put the pieces of your heart back together.

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[defeatedbyamerechild]

Lusamine and Guzma what do you think of the Galarian forms? And Piers and Rose what do you think of the Alolan forms?

This here will be a long ask, so I added the expand button.

Galarian forms:

Lusamine: It looks like a yarn... Fluffy... But it’s much heavier. It’s like a yarn of steel... With claws...

Guzma: Yo, I like that little dude! It’s funny! Look at that, look at that beard! Hehehe! It kinda looks like a Dark Type, but Rose said it’s a Steel Type, so like... OK then, I believe him!

Lusamine: That’s a colorful little Ponita. It’s made of cotton candy...

Guzma: Aw, man... I’ll have to admit it, this guy’s cute. It’s not my type, like... literally! haha! I like the bugs more, but it’s nice enough.

Lusamine: Stylish... Like a model... But it’s an equine. The horn is deadly...

Guzma: Yeah, man... That’s kinda too much fluff and glitter for my taste. 

Lusamine: I think this one is smart. It just doesn’t know it yet...

Guzma: I mean, that’s just a slowpoke that got hit on the head by a bucket of yellow paint, man.

Lusamine: It has the shell on the wrong place. Now it’s stuck there forever... and ever... and ever...

Guzma: Well, all right. Purple paint this time... And it has like... a shell on its arm. I mean, all right, that’s better than the Slowpoke, I give you that. 

Lusamine: Oh! A brave warrior! You can see by its expression that it has fought many battles... It is not satisfied yet, though... It wants more. It craves violence...

Guzma: Dude, like, what the heck is that? What the heck is that Pokémon? I’ve never seen that thing before! That ain’t a “regional form”, there’s no other Pokémon like this! ... What is the normal form, eh? ... Far-what? ...Farfesht? Tsc, you made that up! That thing doesn’ exist!

Lusamine: I think this one looks funny.

Guzma: Hahahaha! Look at that! That’s so stupid! Hahahaha! It looks like... I don’t know, it owns a bank or something! Hahaha! It has a huge top hat! Hahahahaha! That’s great!

Lusamine: This Pokémon was crafted by Arceus from the fear and desperation of the innocent.

Guzma: I don’t know what to think of that dude... It has a charm to it, but it’s a Mr. Mime and... Mr. Mimes are kinda weird. Also what’s up with those tiny mitten hands eh? That’s so small!

Lusamine: It’s a legendary... And it’s a bird.

Guzma: Hey, that looks cool! Purple Articuno, I dig that! Nice!

Lusamine: Fighting Torchic...

Guzma: Hey, that’s cool! I mean, Zapdos is kind of a silly Pokémon normally, with all them spiky feathers and stuff... but this version has a dinosaur vibe or something, it looks cool!

Lusamine: It has black and pink flames. It’s fashionable.

Guzma: Well, it’s better than the normal version, but it’s the worst one in the trio. Hey I got a question, like... Why are like... ARTICuno, ZAPdos and MOLTres not Ice, Electric and Fire types there in Galar? I mean, what about the puns on the names?

Lusamine: Baby...

Guzma: Is that a Corsola? Man, what happened to that little buddy?... Man, it looks kinda sad... and sick... it’s... Wait, it’s a Ghost Type? Holy cow!

Lusamine: Oh, that’s Piers. He lives with us.

Guzma: Hehe, that’s neat! I like black and white! Like my hair! And Piers’ hair too... Hey, wait a second...

Lusamine: Long boy...

Guzma: Yo, these folks really look like they are ready to play some glam rock or somethin’, eh? No wonder Piers chose that as his signature!

Lusamine: It’s a walking snowball! I bet we can stack them up and make a snowman...

Guzma: Hehehehehe... That’s so cute! Look at it! Hehe it looks like a lil’ marshmallow!

Lusamine: There it is... The snowman...

Guzma: I don’t know, I don’t like that giant ball on this dude’s head. It was better before...

Lusamine: It’s a little cursed friend. It’s bound to the cursed chunk of clay it carries... But it’s cute.

Guzma: I don’t know what’s goin’ on there but can’t be worse than the Unovan form, I mean... This Pokémon is creepy as heck. You look at it and you’re like... Oh that’s cute, eh? Yeah. Right. Read its Pokédex entry and tell me how cute that is! Yikes...

Lusamine: I think it wants to bite me... Bad Stunfisk! Bad!

Guzma: It’s a trap!!! Cool! I bet stepping on one of these guys must hurt more than stepping on a lego, man! I could use it for some pranks... hehe...

Alolan forms:

Rose: Oh, well, that’s a nice mustache it has!

Piers: Sick color scheme... Now I want one of those!

Rose: Hehe! It has some silly cheeks! I miss the mustache, though... I liked it.

Piers: I’ll be honest ‘ere, this thing ain’t beautiful... But it’s cool! I’m definitely catchin’ an Alolan Rattata if I ever go to Alola!

Rose: Aww... Look at that little face! Adorable! I want to give it a hug!

Piers: That’s a weird-lookin’ Raichu... I think it’s the eyes...

Rose: Oh, look! It looks like an igloo! Hahaha how clever!

Piers: Didn’ expect to see an Ice Type in Alola... I didn’ even know they had snow there!

Rose: I like this one, it’s very.... Well... pointy! Must be pretty dangerous, though. I mean, I wouldn’t want to bump into one of these haha!

Piers: I like the huge idicles it has... That’s cool. But I gotta say I’m not a fan of the colors.

Rose: Aw!!! This is so adorable!!! It’s even cuter than the Kantonian Vulpix, and that’s not easy! I absolutely love it! Oh, Melony would adore it so much!

Piers: Another Ice Type? Are you freakin’ kiddin’ me? Where is Alola? Isn’ Alola a tropical paradise and whatev’r? 

Rose: That’s pretty impressive... I mean, Ninetails is a very noble Pokémon, very elegant! But this one took it to another level! I really like it!

Piers: Yeah, that’s... That’s a thing. I don’t know, man, I’m not a fan of this kind of Pokémon. Give it to Opal or that brat she’s trainin’, they should like it.

Rose: Oh, well, I like that it’s a steel type. It’s not much different from the Kantonian Diglett though.

Piers: That’s just a diglett with three freakin’ strands of hair. Why?

Rose: Oh! Hahaha! Now I see a huge difference! Hahaha! It has a lot of hair, eh?

Piers: What the actual Flaaffywool is that...? That looks like it came straight from the 80′s... Cool!

Rose: Well, it’s very different from the Meowth we have in Galar, that’s for sure... It’s nice, but I think I prefer the good old Galarian one!

Piers: That’s just a cat.

Rose: Oh... That’s... That’s a huge head...

Piers: That’s a heck of an ugly Perrserker... What do you mean it’s not a Perrserker, desn’ it evolve from Meowth? ... Persian? What’s a Persian?

Rose: Oh!! I love this one! Is it a Steel Type?! .... Oh... No? Well, OK! It’s still really lovely! I would love to catch one!

Piers: That’s a cool lookin’ one! I like it. I like the things on its head.

Rose: It keps getting better! Look at that, it’s great! Oh, if only it were a Steel Type...

Piers: All right, that’s a bit worse... I was expetin’ it to have more of those spikes on the head of whatever it is...

Rose: It has a mustache AND a beard! I love this Pokémon! I absolutely have to catch one of these and evolve it! THE BEARD IS MADE OF IRONSAND? That’s absolutely perfect!

Piers: Nah! No! Nope! Go back! Back to the Geodude, please! That sucks! I hate it!

Rose: Oh, that’s a very bright color for a Grimer... I don’t know, I think I prefer the Kantonian one, to be honest. But the little teeth are very cute.

Piers: That looks like the slime I made with Marnie when she was younger... Watched some tutorials in Pokétube... It was fun.

Rose: Oh, wow! It got very colorful... I don’t know, I prefer to keep things simple in terms of colors, so I still like the Kantonian one better. My personal taste.

Piers: Heh. Look at that mess! Sick... I like it... It’s a Dark Type, eh? Well, that’s even better!

Rose: Wow. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought this was a Dynamaxed Exeggutor! Good to know it’s not that big, though.

Piers: It’s kinda ridiculous... And what’s with that weird face on its tail? The more I look at it, the weirder ir gets... What? That’s a Dragon Type? But... Well, OK then...

Rose: That’s interesting,it’s a Ghost Type Marowak... A DANCING Ghost Type Marowak! Oh, it can dance pretty well, it’s very talented. That’s nice.

Piers: Hey, that’s cool... I mean, I think it’s an improvement! I like that mark on the skull... And the blue fire... I’m not super fond of blue, but like... Blue fire is always cool.

[butterfly--empress]

VanQua Week Day III: Merge...

This is a small part from my VanQua Vampire/Fairy AU Story. Those in the Vanqua discord server already read this weeks ago. But I wanted to share this for VanQua week so I would have something to submit for the occasion. Happy reading!?...maybe...*throws long ass one-shot at tags and runs away!!

Story under cut!

“Can’t you find some idiot Fae to create an unbreakable bond with?”

The question caught her off guard, “An unbreakable bond?”

There was a sigh and she was sure, Vanitas rolled his eyes as he turned around to face her, “And you say I’m the uncouth one! An unbreakable bond, Duchess! Well I suppose you Fae call it something else? That ancient magic where two people merge their souls as one?”

Recognition lit up in her eyes, “The ribbon of fate?”

“Ugh, even your naming conventions are saccharine! Yea, that! No lucky sap to come to your rescue?”

If she had someone, she wouldn’t be in this mess, desperate for a way out of it that didn’t involve her taking Vanitas’ suggestion seriously, if only as wishful thinking, “That magic isn’t something a lot of people can do just willingly Vanitas. There’s a reason why that spell is forbidden, it has consequences. I can’t just magically wish all my problems away with a spell that’s not guaranteed to work!”

He smirked, amused by Aqua’s plight and he couldn’t help jabbing at it, “Ah, that’s the problem with you Seelie, you don’t know how to just take what you want. All this worry over complications of the heart, it’s pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic!” She yelled this time, he shouldn’t grin, but he couldn’t help it. He struck a nerve and he felt some sort of sick glee getting Aqua all riled up. Something about the way her face made all those expressions, fascinates him. The spicy tinge to the scent of her sweet blood also made him feel heady with hunger.

“It’s not pathetic to want to be in love! To be married to someone who loves me, truly! Even if I did create that spell with someone willing to help me, all I would do is condemn myself to a fate worse than death! Only true love can cast that spell without bringing any harm to the casters.”

He didn’t know jack about love and joy, most of the time, he felt Aqua would be so much better without all her positive emotional baggage. What was the point of love if it was no different from hate or pain or sadness? Girl stuck to her principles, Vanitas guess that must count for something.

“That’s a Fae problem, if you knew any Vampires you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing,” and now he was helping her when he had no reasons to care. He had no reason to even sit and entertain her inserting herself into his life, and after a few months? He hasn’t tried to stop her yet.

“Vampires haven’t been around in ages, not after the wars,” he’s not surprised she doesn’t believe him. Her face is questioning him but there’s also hope? Some form of curiosity mixed with wishful thinking?

“And what is different about performing a ribbon of fate spell with a Vampire? Is that even possible?” Aqua was skeptical, what were the odds that she would meet a true Vampire? And what were the odds that Vampire would even deign to help her?

“Unbreakable bond and yea, it’s possible…if you don’t mind the consequences of course and unlike your weak true love bond you can always break the contract, no harm, no foul.”

“I suppose you know actual Vampires that lowered themselves to help a fairy in need?”

“I don’t know about all that, but I know things,” he got quiet after that. He glanced at her as she stared out in space before looking his way. Her energy had spiked, “Spit it out, I can almost smell that curiosity burning in your aura.”

“How does a ribbon of fate-”

“Unbreakable bond.”

She rolled her eyes, a little annoyed at being interrupted, “Whatever, how does it work between Vampires?”

“Between Vampires, it’s usually about forming temporary truces, not to invade another vamp’s territory. Sometimes clans are formed to strengthen the bloodline but there’s always an order of the masters and the servants, no different than you Fae’s silly attempts of playing at polite society.”

He continued, gold eyes looking up at the full moon, “As for anyone else? It depends on what you’re creating the bond for in the first place. Asking a vamp to sully a part of their soul usually requires an equal exchange, if the vamp in question even finds you worthy,” Vanitas moved close to Aqua, invading her personal space, he smirked, “That can be your submission, your blood…your life.”

“You’re just making that up!” She got up off the satin alcove seat, putting some distance between them and wondering why her face suddenly burned at his proximity.

He shrugged, “Fine, don’t believe me, I don’t really care, it’s not me who’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m lucky, I don’t have to ever worry about following along to society’s strict obligations.”

She glared at him, “Are you making fun of me?” Vanitas could be callous, she knew that, and she learned to ignore it, most of the time but sometimes, she really wished he learned to tone it down.

“You are very entertaining; I’ll give you that.”

“This isn’t funny! I don’t!” The smirk left his face and he didn’t know why he was feeling shame. Aqua looked sad, like she was on the verge of crying, “I don’t want to be stuck in a loveless marriage…I love Terra, but I don’t want to marry someone in love with someone else and I don’t want to be given away to…to that man!”

Fury slowly crept into him at the mention of Aqua being with someone else. He was not in the mood to question his reactions to Aqua’s resistance to being tied to someone she didn’t love, “You know, the reverse works too.”

Why am I doing this? Why am I telling her this? I don’t even care about her problems! He had his own issues, none he was ever willing to share with Aqua. Making the excuse that he was hoping she’ll take his bait and be smart enough to figure out what he was, just so he could have free reign to her blood, wasn’t his only reason for doing this. He didn’t know the reasons, just that he felt this instinct, that wanted to have Aqua, “Hehe, if a vamp asked you to create the bond, they become subservient to your every command, but you have to offer something they would want to keep them in the contract.”

A smirk graced her face and something about that, made his heart stir, “What if I were to take what I wanted?”

“Hmm?” Oh, the Duchess had his apt attention now.

She sat back down next to him, looking him in the eyes, “You told me, us Seelie fairy don’t know how to just take what we wanted, well, what happens if I were to just take what I wanted from a Vampire? What then?”

“I dunno, other than they’ll be a loser for becoming subservient to a fairy without getting something in return.”

“What if I were to offer to give up a part of myself before that?”

“Well the possibilities are endless, you might actually chain your souls together and that sounds too much like your pathetic ribbon of fate magic, Fae.” Being eternally chained to someone didn’t sound like his idea of a fun time, being under dear old dad’s household was torture enough.

Didn’t stop the thump, thump of his heart wondering what would that be like, being merged with someone like Aqua, “Why? Know any losers you can chain down? Here I was, thinking you were wholesome and everything I hate about the light, I recall your plan was to form a temporary bond with some poor sap to get your pops off your back, and then voiding the contract while making a break for it far away from your controlling father.”

“Would it be uncanny of me to say, it sounds delightfully tempting?” It sounded too good to be true but Aqua wasn’t going to even fancy all she was told. She still didn’t believe anything Vanitas said but she appreciated his roundabout way to make her feel better.

“Would it be bizarre of me to say; I’m almost scared.”

She laughed, smiling at Vanitas with a soft expression, “Thank you Vanitas, you’re very sweet to make me feel better.”

His face got hot for a quick second, “Now hold on! Who said anything about making you feel better? I’m just telling you how it is,” what was up with her and her incessant need to think he was being, ‘nice’. Everything he said, carried a selfish motive, he didn’t know how to be nice, to be kind or any of that other junk if it didn’t serve him some gain in return.

“Of course you are.”

Silence reigned between them that night, a slight breeze blowing about as they sat together inside the balcony hidden from the rest of the world. As she watched the young man take a relaxed pose upon the old red satin alcove, she wondered not for the first time about what he actually was.

The thought of him being a real Vampire crossed her mind but that had to be unlikely. True those beings were still around but after the wars, they kept to themselves, opting that the best way to keep peace was to remain far away from cities dominated by Fae folk and those in league with the Fae. Many generations later and people talk about the Vampires like they never existed. Whole information about them, gone within the quiet of one night.

Vanitas wasn’t of the Fae, he didn’t carry the dark aura of a Spriggan, she was certain. But he was not of the Werewolves nor of Kitsune, neither a Serpent of some kind or an elemental. He didn’t fit the description of any known supernatural beings and that, made him quite dangerous. He did talk like he knew an awful lot about Vampires even if he was only doing it in jest.

I’m sure he was told that by someone or read some tale about it to try to ease my worries in his own odd way. There’s no way, a boy younger than me was able to find actual insight about Vampires. Especially when that information is rare to come by.

“You’re staring.”

“I’m thinking.”

“You’re always thinking, if you’re that worry, can’t you just tell your old man no?”

“I wish it were that simple.”

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral…”

In the silence that stirred between them, Aqua’s eyes widened at a sudden epiphany. She had her suspicions for weeks now but there was nothing conclusive about Vanitas’ origins other than a sprinkle of hints that he was vastly different from other folks.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

None of which had to do with his darkness. On the surface, the aura of his essence felt just as dark as any Sprig or other being of the dark arts.

Albeit carrying a more dangerous and volatile undertone, he hid from her. The boy was haughty and was not shy about showing off how strong he was whenever she teased or mocked his strength and power.

So, realizing this whole time, Vanitas was holding a lot of his true power back surprised her. She had to admit to herself, it did unnerve her. Beings of darkness naturally had that effect on creatures of light and every instinct in her body told her to run! To get away because she hated to admit she was at a lost to gauge how truly strong he was!

The not knowing part made her nervous and still, she remained, sitting here in this same deserted balcony hidden from the rest of the world, by his side as they take in the approaching twilight. Their own little sanctuary, the only thing that made coming to the balls held at Disney Castle fun.

Aqua wasn’t sure what was going on, but it seemed to her, the king and queen’s adopted son, was having his own rebellious stage of refusing to accept any marriage proposal his parents picked for him by accepting them all and throwing huge extravagant parties for every maiden that was chosen.

Crowned prince Sora was known to be a good child and never gave the king and queen any real worries. Aqua felt almost bad for king Mickey, Sora was working hard on turning that man’s ebony hair gray. She also wondered was their treasury safe from Sora’s wrath? Five, sometimes eight balls within a month or two was the norm, when trying to gain a prospect for marriage but twenty was excessive.

I’m rooting for your happiness Sora. While Aqua silently cheered on a mutual comrade in arms for the right to freely fall in love, Vanitas just thought the whole thing was hilarious.

“Who would’ve thought that goody two shoes had it in him?”

“Even the strongest willed have their limits.”

“All this noise over love, hmph.”

“I commend him, he’s never strayed away, always did what his parents asked of him and all he wants is to have just one thing and he’s fighting for it. I think it’s honorable.”

“I forgot, I’m speaking to the choir.”

She glared at him, not liking his sarcasm. She was already on edge since her unpleasant spat with her father, feeling hopeless about her situation. The last thing she needed was Vanitas telling her how foolish she was to still believe in love when everything about her predicament screamed the opposite, “What is your problem? You’re always talking down on people who feel and want love! You make it sound like I should feel ashamed of feeling love! Of wanting it!”

“My problem is I think love is weak!” he glared at her, love this and love that. What was so special about that feeling anyway? All he saw was how much Aqua was hurting from it, her love for her father, her love for Terra, what has it gotten her? “You talk about this love and how great it is but it’s also the thing holding you back! It’s also the thing hurting you.”

She would be better off just telling everyone to go to hell and doing what she pleased. But she wasn’t like that, Aqua didn’t know how to just say no to people and that’s why she was stressing herself near illness because she feels it’s her duty to please her father even if she didn’t want to be tied down with some stranger.

The thought of that just pisses him off and it truly was a testament of him, being around Aqua that he was learning how to hold back his anger. Strong feelings of resentment coiled down to his core, “I don’t get it, you Fae speak so highly about your love and all those positive feelings of light, but you live in a world of set rules and obligations that make you unhappy. If love is so great, then why are you so determined to allow yourself to be basically handed over as some noble’s plaything?!”

She held herself back from smacking him for being callous. Glaring at sunshine gold eyes that glared back, she took in his posture. He was almost snarling, shoulders hunched like a wild animal, like a cat, his palms balled into tight fists and she couldn’t mistake the slight glint of very sharp pointed fangs being bared at her. The bite of his words stung but it was almost like he was angry for her, though she could tell he was angry with her.

For some reason, Aqua couldn’t fathom, that made her feel suddenly ashamed and that shame wanted her to soothe away Vanitas’ anger. It wasn’t her fault she was being forced against her own wishes, into a political marriage and somehow, hearing those words from Vanitas…he was acting like it was a betrayal. She shook her head, noticing he started talking again.

“Is it because of your love for your father that you have to sacrifice what you want? Is that how it works Aqua?”

She could still feel the waves of anger, perhaps a bit of bitterness there as well but what would he be bitter about. He talked as if he knew it all, as if he knew her and her relationship with her father when in reality, he didn’t know anything at all, “Have you really never felt love before Vanitas?”

She couldn’t conceive the idea that no one had ever known of love and happiness, even Spriggan knew joy. An unreadable expression passed over his face before he cruelly smirked at her, turning his back towards her, “Hmph, there isn’t a memory in time that I ever felt this love. And if there was? I don’t want to remember because I don’t need it. I refuse to give up what I want or sacrifice my needs for others. I don’t want to feel weak and foolish.”

Their little area filled with tense silence and Aqua decided to sit across from Vanitas who seemed to be brooding. She exhaled, deciding to let it go and not let his words get to her. So what if she was foolish, so what if she sacrificed her wants to make someone else happy? It’s not for a lack of trying that she tried to beat her odds no matter how futile.

She was tired of fighting, tired of fighting with her father, tired of fighting with a boy who didn’t understand. Aqua balled the fabric of her blue silk dress in her hands. I don’t want this! I don’t want to marry that man or any man I don’t love!

Physically the fight left her, but mentally, Aqua was determined to find a way out.  

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

At that thought, she looked over towards him, really taking him in as she remembered every conversation, every little spar, every little quirk that made Vanitas, Vanitas. And the wheels in her mind began turning, that sentence from their last meeting pulling her into a downward spiral of hopeless wishing and hopeless want…

Aqua had to bite back the grin on her face, it wasn’t everyday she saw Vanitas’  face look adorably innocent and she didn’t want to tell him that, having a feeling he’ll find it as an insult, but watching him sniff the air for a scent only he could smell and looking like a curious cat had her internally squealing.  

He blinked before a smirk spread across his face, “This is a first.”

The statement had caught her off guard, “What?”

He bared his teeth at her, the innocent face, turning menacing while stirring fear and excitement in her, “You’re the first Fae whose blood I tolerate smelling…”

The last time she met the Earl when he came to her home.

“Ah the pretty little bluebird came to greet me, such a surprise.”

She returned his bow with a curtsey and a false smile. She already didn’t like the way, he came strutting in, like he owned the place. She didn’t like Braig at all, he always looked like he had ulterior motives. It was hard to believe sometimes that he was a Seelie and not of the Spriggan.

“Father always said to treat our guests with upmost respect, even if they don’t deserve it.”

He stepped closer to her and she took a step back, not liking him invading her personal space. He grinned, his stare, looking her over with interest, “Beautiful and a spitfire, your future husband is going to have a handful with you.”

Refusing to cower, Aqua met his eyes head on, straightening her back, “Well, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about, since it’s a problem for my husband in the far, far future.”

She was dismayed to know he wasn’t fazed, in fact his whole demeanor looked downright gleeful at her defiance, “Then I guess we’ll have to work on that now won’t we bluebird?”

Aqua quickly backed away from him at that confession. There was no way Eraqus agreed to this? He had to be playing with her. She knew her father had become like a madman, desperate to get her married but he had promised after the situation with Terra he would give her time.

Her back pressed into a wall in the corner near the steps leading upstairs and the Earl, stepped close enough to disrupt her personal space, he reached up with a white gloved hand, curling a wisp of her blue hair between his fingers, “Aww, don’t look so shocked, you’ll break my heart, your father thinks we could be a good match.”

At those words, Aqua pushed Braig away with enough force to make him stumble but not fall. She started running to her father’s office, trying to ignore the Lord’s mocking laughter at her plight.

“You made a match for me with him?!” Eraqus stood up, startled from Aqua bursting through his doors. Angry and hurt blue eyes stared up at him, wanting answers.

“Aqua, the Earl has a clean reputation, is a veteran war hero and is Lord Xehanort’s most trusted second in command. There’s no other man other than Terra that I trust to keep you safe.”

“You hardly know him!” Keep her safe? Keep her safe from what? She didn’t understand Eraqus’ sudden need to constantly insist on keeping her safe. He mentored her to be an exceptional warrior, she was on equal footing with Terra and can hold her own.

Eraqus himself deemed her better suited to take his place as Duchess when he retired and aside from small disturbances here and there, things were peaceful. No one heard any rumors of war and Lady Maleficent hadn’t made a peep for years since living under house arrest in Radiant Garden.

“But I do know my dear friend and I trust him.”

“You trust Lord Xehanort but not me? Do I even get a say in this?” She met the Duke sparingly, but she had no real impressions of him, other than she knew him as her father’s closet friend. He seemed to be a halfling, part Seelie, part Spriggan and looked like he had a lust for the darkness.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this?” She lived with her father all her life and she never gave him any reasons to doubt her or find her distrustful. Aqua tried to search her mind for anything she’s ever done to upset Eraqus that he would push for this, “Why are you suddenly possessed with marrying me off? I knew that sooner or later you would push for a marriage for me, but I thought you would have given me time to get to know my betrothed.”

“I just will feel better if you were already married, I’m sure with time you would change your mind about Lord Braig.”

She didn’t want to marry him, she didn’t want to get to know him, that man made her queasy. She didn’t trust him at all, and she didn’t trust Lord Xehanort, but her father wouldn’t listen to her concerns about the Duke, “What have I done to upset you?”

“Aqua, please-”

“You’re not treating Terra or Ven this way, why me!” She would be lying if she said it didn’t irritate her at times, how the boys were able to get away with certain things, while Eraqus treated her almost with kid gloves, especially when she was the responsible one and had to keep Terra and Ventus out of trouble.

“Is it about the accident I had when I was twelve?” he had been more overprotective since that day, hardly ever letting her have room to breathe. If she wasn’t going on missions or being invited to keep the young princess of Radiant Garden company, Aqua was made to stay at home. In all that time, not once had she ever argued or rebelled against any of his wishes.  

“You started to treat me different from before. I thought it was because you were just worried about me since my recovery took a long time but now…I don’t want to marry Lord Braig.”

“I let it go when you told me you did not want to marry Terra because he found someone else. I will not this time, you will marry him as I ordained it.”

“But-”

“That is the end of the discussion, please leave.”

Looking at her father as he closed and locked his doors, she glared, determination fueling her resolve.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral…”

After that, Aqua made a visit to Lady Belle, looking for a solution to a hopeless wish…

The odd fascination with her blood…

She grabbed Vanitas as he walked away from her and he quickly snatched her wrist in his hand. She could see he was struggling to keep it together, they had been talking like always and she thought she said something to offend him. Not wanting him to leave, she reached for him but now she didn’t know how to read him, he snarled at her, “If I were you, I’ll stay away.”

“Is that a threat?” This push and pull between her and Vanitas, this impulse she had that wanted to challenge him, see what he would do, scared her and made her blood pulse in her veins.

“Yes.”

“What? You’ll drain me dry of my blood?”

That ominous smirk returned before he schooled his face, staring at her so fiercely, “I just might if you keep teasing me, trying to be on my best behavior or is it that you want to tempt me to sate your curiosity?”

Her heart sped up because that is exactly what she wanted, to see if his talk of drinking blood was true or if he just loved putting on a façade of the demonic vampire.

His fingers caress her wrist and he brought her arm to rest on his warm cheek, pressing his ear to her wrist, “I can hear your life blood singing, calling to me Aqua, should I dine to take a taste?”

She was positive if she told him yes, she would be a goner…

His distaste for the sun even though his skin is naturally sun kissed and he has no problems walking under the sunshine. His body warm that it almost was hot to the touch, even though the presumption was Vampires were supposed to be cold, like touching death. The way he shies away from silver, the way his already eerie gold eyes seem to flash red at times. The merciless way she saw him kill a wayward spirit. There had been glee and a rush of anger and then a chilling, detached sense of emptiness, no remorse or guilt.  

All these things scared her, but in these few months, Aqua got a little glimpse into Vanitas and how he worked. He was a familiar constant in her life and for all the cons and few of the pros she could easily list for why she shouldn’t be so near, why she should stay away from him, she stayed.

Aqua felt herself being naturally drawn to him, Vanitas was familiar and unchanging, even if he was hostile and crude most days, he hadn’t ever truly done anything to drive her away. He humored her by listening to her rants, her wants and wishes by pretending he cared and wanting to help. It was those little things he did that Aqua appreciated, he didn’t have to listen to her prattle. He was well within his right to leave her alone to deal with her own problems, but he didn’t. There was no mistaken, he did things for his own amusement, his own selfishness, but even in all of that; she wanted to believe there was more to him than what he showed the world.

“Vanitas?”

“And after staring at me for ten minutes she finally decides to ask me a question, would wonders never cease to amaze?” He had his eyes closed as he laid back and she had to wonder how he always knew when she was looking at him.

“Don’t be a wisecrack, I just have one question and I’ll leave you to continue sulking in your alcove.”

“I’m not sulking but ask away oh mighty empress.”

“Vampires, do you know how they make the unbreakable bond contract?”

He opened one gold eye, smirking at her, “Back to this are we? I thought you didn’t believe me?”

“Can you just humor me? Please?”

He sat up, turning to face her, “Alright, it can be done any number of ways but if you’re looking for the fastest and easiest way to undo the contract, you simply do a blood oath. Prick a finger, cut your hand, shake it on.”

“I see…”

She looked away from him, she was thinking and somehow that made him nervous, “What is it now?”

“Is there any reason other than maybe having access to someone’s blood that a Vampire would willingly enter into a contract?”

Silence, Vanitas looked at Aqua with a frown than looked away, shrugging.

“Well, I guess you better start looking for a Vampire, Duchess or it’s your funeral.”

Vanitas was familiar and at times he scared her, but she feared the Earl more. Vanitas didn’t try to butter her up or use fancy words to try to deceive her, he didn’t call her pet names and give her sly smirks that had underlining meanings.

What you saw is what you got. She walked over towards him, standing in front of him, watching him look up at her with unease but also questioning what she was going to do next.

“Do you still crave it? My blood?”

Vanitas glared, getting up to walk away from her, on reflex, Aqua grabbed his arm and he paused staring at her like a cornered animal. “What are you getting at?” he shoved her off, feeling his hackles rise.

A sane person would try their luck at running away. A sane person wouldn’t try to find a reason why a Vampire would divulge information that could trap them with someone, selfishly wanting to break free of their own prison.

“I grant you permission Vanitas to partake of my blood when you need it,” she stepped closer to him as he moved back, she could feel his darkness, feel his anxiety and his fear, feel rage and uncertainty.

A smirk and then that crazy laughter she only heard but once seeped out of him, “Bravo Duchess! I can’t believe you actually fell for that! You actually believed me about Vampires and now you think I’m one? Okay Aqua you got me good!”

Aqua wasn’t sane, she was desperate and determined and if she had to be confined into marrying someone she didn’t love, she would do it her way.

“Ah, that’s the problem with you Seelie, you don’t know how to just take what you want. All this worry over complications of the heart, it’s pathetic.”

He wasn’t good at masking his negative emotions at all, when he was in a state of true fear and she hated herself for what she was about to do.

“You can hate me for all time, and I wouldn’t resent you if you do but please, help me and for as long as I’m alive I won’t ask you of anything else!”

She had grabbed his face, the softness of her hands, stunning him before he felt her warms lips pressed hard to his. His eyes widened in shock, while hers were shut tight in a frowned grimace, tears cascading down her face. Trying to get a bearing on his senses, Vanitas moved to push Aqua away, but it was futile, the magic of that accursed bond had already began. A wave of so many negative emotions burst from him, suffocating him, all because of this foolish girl! It intermingled with her own aura of light, surrounding them both in a sphere of fluorescent colored lights that reminded him of the sky during the hours of dawn and twilight.

A grand magic circle glowed, pulsing like a heartbeat beneath them and chains made of gold ascended, wrapping around them, twisting and turning to form around their bodies until the chains eventually stopped to gather around their chest area where their hearts lay and while the chains had gathered and melded into Aqua’s left arm, they did the same in Vanitas’ right arm. A lock with no discernable keyhole manifested, keeping the chains that locked him with Aqua together.

When it was over, the chains disappeared, the magic circle vanished and Vanitas stood there in bubbling rage as he glared at Aqua who fell to her knees on the ground, head bowed in shame.

Tonight, was the first real night he had wanted to harm her. He had tolerated Aqua and all she was out of boredom and later on, out of genuine curiosity. There were times she pissed him off, like a lot but he was always surprised by how much his anger and annoyance with her, never had amounted to the point of wanting to physically hurt her. Yes, in the very beginning he thought of what it would be like to just drain her blood for her power, it wasn’t everyday he had an actual taste for a Fae’s blood. They smelled either too sour, salty or carried an unpleasant odor but Aqua? Just a sniff of her blood, had his fangs elongating for a bite.

She had sort of become a familiar fixture in his life in such a short time that after a while he didn’t care about if it was her tolerating him or him, tolerating her.

But tonight? He was beyond angry at what she done, and he couldn’t even lift a finger to carry out his impulse to maim her! Not because he was weak, not because she was his friend but because she had successfully done the impossible. She merged their souls together, they were bonded for the rest of their living lives and pain to Aqua, also meant he would feel that pain

Everything was just fucking great!

“Congratulations are in order! You’re the first Fae to outsmart a damn vamp! I hope you’re ecstatic!” Vanitas watched with no small feeling of victory as she continued to sit and sob. He just felt…sad, hopeless and annoyed.

“Tch, you really have no idea of what you’ve done do you?”

At that, Aqua quiet her crying, sapphire eyes looking up at him with guilt, “I can’t go back on my word, this bond I’ve created won’t allow me. Even though I know your subservient to me, I too am to you, I can’t take advantage of you so don’t worry Vanitas.”

Aqua finally lifted herself up off the cold marble floor, “But I don’t understand one thing?”

“And that is?”

“Why didn’t you stop me? You could have stopped me, and you didn’t have to tell me how to trap you. I think I never outsmarted you at all.”

He frowned, “I don’t know! I just know I’m very pissed off for letting it happen anyway!”

He could feel everything, not just his own emotions, her feelings as well were coming through loud and clear through their newly shared bond. And her aura, he couldn’t discern his own from hers anymore, her soul was literally chained to his and even if Aqua decided tomorrow or a week from now that she wanted out of this, she was shit out of luck unless she wanted death.

And because he’s a selfish bastard he wasn’t going to oblige her, if he had to deal with getting the short end of this merge, he was going to make her suffer too.

“I know…thank you will never be enough, and I apologize for involving you into my mess.”

“As long as I can have a taste of you whenever I want, we’re even.”

A slight blushed colored her face, she knows he meant her blood but still, why did he have to word it that way? Vanitas stared at her with an inquisitive look before looking away.

Embarrassment? I definitely felt that and something else? Man oh man, this feeling her feelings along with mines is going to give me a headache. He turned to Aqua with a smirk, walking by her to go back inside, “Well come on, no time like the present to give your old man a heart attack, I’m just itching to see the face he makes when he founds out his precious daughter sold her soul to the devil!”

Better to find humor in other’s suffering, that was the only way he was going to cope with what just happened. She sighed, hearing Vanitas’ manic laughter get further away. Fighting Eraqus was not going to be pleasant at all but at least now, he couldn’t make her marry that awful man. Aqua was nervous, worried and still feeling a little bit guilty. A prick of a finger or a small cut in the hand if she had just only asked might have sufficed but fear and the urge to do what she did, felt it was better this way. She sealed her fate to a hostile Vampire to get out of an arranged marriage. She smiled, the irony not lost on her that she just married herself to Vanitas and there was no love to be had between them at all.

As she walked to catch up with her little husband whose face seemed permanently set in a constant frown or menacing smirk, her heart felt lighter. She wouldn’t ask Vanitas of anything and she would never expect him to love her but in time, perhaps she could do things to show him how much she appreciates his sacrifice.

[xxreadersxx]

Oh that's alright. Could I get a match up than with Black Butler and Bleach? :)

{I can do these hehe, thanks! ALSO: please remember that I didn’t continue after the Aizen/espada arch in Bleach, so if the information I have is skewed, that’s why! Also, also: I understand. People die in Black Butler…yeah, but are they really dead? hehe Not in the fandom, right?}

Your Black Butler Match: Dagger!

His charismatic nature is a good mix with your, more serious, personality. He enjoys taking you on adventures to help get your mind off of all the stress of life, even if it’s only for a little while. You’re a good partner to him as well. With your observation techniques and his precise dagger throws, even Sebastian would have a hard time fighting you. When the two of you first met, he was performing, his skills impressing you to no end, and you had even worn your best. When he looked into the crowd and made eye contact with you, he almost missed his mark. He quickly finished his act, and ran into the crowd after the circus acts were over. He found you and tried his best to act casual and cool, but he just came off as goofy and constantly smiling. You giggled at his awful acting skills and asked him to be himself. He was surprised that you noticed, but dropped the act and the two of you enjoyed a fun night of the unordinary: exploring the circus while he told you all kinds of interesting stories and facts. He showed you everything, and then asked you to come back again. You agreed, but something didn’t sit right with you, there was something about that tall dark fellow that really grated on your nerves. You decided to ask Dagger to come to your estate if he ever ran into problems at the circus. In the middle of the night, a week after he met you, he was pulled into your front yard by a beautiful woman, whose name you never got, and she dropped Dagger off in your front parlor. You talked your family into taking him in, and because your family was no stranger to money, they allowed the stranger to live there. They quickly came to love the man as much as you did, and they asked him to watch over you. He happily agreed and changed his life to serve you. Although, he wouldn’t say ‘no’ to having your hand in marriage.

*He is kinda a mess of a suitor. He is always happy and constantly by your side (unless you tell him to go away) he like a puppy

*he likes to hold your hand, and does it almost on reflex. Sometimes he gets a really sad look on his face, but you say his name and he’s back to normal

*he likes to hear your voice, and your laugh! He will do silly things in the middle of awkward silences to make you laugh at him! He also like to bring you little trinkets and beautiful flowers

*Will do anything for your happiness. Anything.

Your Bleach Matchup: Yasutora Sado!

When he first saw you, he actually talked first. The two of you happened to be in the same class for your last year of high school, and he was really falling behind in his studies for reasons unknown to you. He asked that you tutor him since you had gotten high marks on your most recent science exams. You agreed, but found that he already knew a lot of the material covered in class. You asked why he lied, and told him he knew it all. He became deathly quiet, and refused to look up into your eyes. He told you that he didn’t actually need tutoring, that he was actually doing well in all of his classes. You became mad at him for wasting time. He apologized, but being the stubborn woman you were, you kept telling him that he needs to work harder for the things he wants. You were suddenly caught off guard when he pushed you against the wall and agreed with you. He did need to push harder for the things he wants. He told you right then and there that he liked you, and that he would do anything to make you notice him. Your face flushed red and you couldn’t speak. He released the hold he had on you and left, saying that he would see you tomorrow. The next couple of days were completely different than the days before. Sado would come up to you and speak clearly, and would tell you he likes you everyday. You eventually came to like him back, and one day you hinted that you wouldn’t oppose if he asked you on a date. And he did. 

*Can you say…cuddles??? His big body makes him the best cuddle partner!

*He is pretty secretive about certain things. He once left for almost a month without telling you anything. You were really worried when he came back with cuts and bruises

*He likes hugs more than anything else! When he hugs you, it sometimes feels like he’s sad or worried, but you hug him back just as snuggly and he relaxes