#silence gavin

[huntingtonwestvirginia]

Anya Mouthwashing….. my beloved…..

[damnbtway]

instrumentalforcegivenpurpose save me..... save me instrumentalforcegivenpurpose

[redactedbloop]

So we’re all voting for 20 minutes of silence right?

[takethatball]

Gavin Lux | NL Player of the Week [20240722]

[betta-phish]

this video killed me I can’t even pick a favorite part 😭

[stinkrascal]

that one post thats going around thats like “What hobbies do you have that ARENT related to media consumption!” and everyone’s replies are like “i love writing and creating art!” because those things are completely separated from the media you consume im sure. it just so happens that youve had the most original idea ever that wasnt influenced by the media you consume at all in the slightest. god whispered the idea into your ear in a dream

[mutxnts]

sometimes when kristoph picks phoenix up for their weekly dinners, the song cat's in the cradle "coincidentally" plays in the car bc he knows how much phoenix doesn't like being away from trucy

kristoph starts the car again once phoenix gets in and the song starts playing and he's like, "oh, apologies for the music, wright, i must have accidentally left it playing." and then he just doesn't turn the music off until the song is over, not even bothering to try and hide his smirk

[depravednotdeprived]

Louder Than Life 2023

[outsideratheart]

Blind To The Signs (Leah Williamson x reader)

A/N: Fun fact, I started this in 2022 and a line in the Gavin & Stacey finale inspired me to finished it.

You were sure that Leah Williamson was the person for you but the timing never seemed right. You had met her at the Arsenal academy when you were 13 years old and since then you were inseparable but the line between friends and something more never got crossed.

There was one night when you almost kissed. It was after the world cup in Paris, you were heartbroken having felt like you let the team down and Leah refused to leave your side. It was how you found yourself walking the streets of the French capital in comfortable silence with your best friend. It was your first time visiting the city and after a few days you realised why it was called the city of love. You wouldn’t be able to say for sure what it was but there was something in the air, something that made you want to be in love, to be in Paris with the woman you love. When you and Leah stopped at bench overlooking the river Seine you realised that you were. With your mind free of football it allowed your heart to tell you how you truly felt about your best friend.

The bench was small, in fact in barely held the two of you. Leah was sitting close to you and when she turned to talk to you she was inches away from you. In that moment you knew your mind was consumed by one thought, you wanted to kiss her. You leaned in but then ducked to the side at the last minute. You covered your true intention by saying that Leah had an eye lash on her cheek, this of course was a lie.

It did get you thinking though. If you were to have gone through with it, would she have kissed you back? Was she having the same thoughts as you? These questions freaked you out. How could you be thinking about Leah in this way, you had been friends for what felt like forever, this couldn’t happen. 

That was the last night you allowed yourself to see Leah in this light. 

A couple of months later Leah had told you that she starting dating Jordan and it was enough for you to know that Leah had your heart whilst Jordan had hers.

As time went on more people learned about your feelings for Leah. You never denied them but you refused to confess. There was too much on the line and you wouldn’t let your friendship be ruined should Leah not feel the same way. 

Then Jordan and Leah broke up leading your best friend to move in with you. Even though you didn’t think it possible, the two of you got closer. You would spend your nights cuddled up on the sofa watching whatever caught your fancy on the TV but your attention very rarely stayed on the screen for the blonde next to you had your attention. This caused the feelings you buried to soon come rising to the surface only they were stronger than before. 

You knew you were tormenting yourself with the what ifs so you told yourself that when you went back to London after Christmas break that you would tell her how you feel. Only thing is Leah never came home, she only texted you saying she would meet you at training and that she had something she wanted to talk to you about. Your stomach filled with butterflies at her response.

The next day you arrived at training earlier than usual. When you see Leah your body pulls you towards her. The hope in your heart soon fades when Jordan appears by her side, your gaze lowering when she reaches for Leah’s hand.

“Before training, we have something to tell you” Leah says as the rest of the team gathers around.

“£50 says they’re back together” Beth says from the side of you.

Deep down you knew she was right yet you choose to hold onto the hope that she was wrong so you agreed to her bet.

“We’re getting married!” 

Suddenly the £50 loss was the last of your worries. 

The two of them approached each player handing them an invite. Leah stops at you and you can tell she is trying to read your face.

“Congratulations Leah” you are numb. You don’t feel sad and you definitely don’t feel happy. In fact you feel nothing at all.

The white envelope felt heavy in your hands, almost as heavy as your heart.

Holding the invite you realise that you are too late.

The next few months both tested you and teared you down in the process. Leah wanted you to be involved in the wedding planning because she claimed that you knew her better than anyone including herself. You wanted to argue and say that Jordan should know her best but you knew it wouldn’t lead to anything good so you bit your tongue. 

When she asked you to be Maid of Honour you politely declined. You wanted Leah to happy, in fact that was the thing that meant most to you in this world. That being said you knew you couldn’t stand there and watch her marry someone when you truly believed it was you who should be standing opposite her at the altar.

The thought of losing Leah became too big of a burden to bare and as the big day got closer you began to shut off. The only way to cope was to ignore the wedding completely and hope that you would wake up to find that it was all a nightmare.

You never did send back the r.s.v.p. From the moment you received the invitation you never intended on going. Yes she was your best friend but sometimes there are moments that will destroy you into millions of pieces and you have to make the decision to put your wellbeing over doing what everyone else things you should do.

‘Y/N” Leah ran after you as you left St George’s park. It was the last camp before the summer break and her wedding. It was the last moment Leah would see you before she would say I do.

“Leah, whatever it is will have to wait. I have to be back in London for a meeting” it wasn’t a lie but you also didn’t share that the meeting was a evening meeting and it was only 11am.

It might have been small but Leah noticed how you called her by her full birth name. You never called her Leah, only Lee. Well you did call her Leah Catherine whenever she was in trouble but you hadn’t even called her that recently.

“I heard you talking to the girls. Can you really not come to my wedding?” 

Her tone broke your heart even more. You swallow deeply. You didn’t want to have this conversation with her but here you stand. Words failed you in that moment so you shook your head. It was the only way you could respond to the question.

“Are you sure?” Leah hoped that you would be able to change whatever event or meeting that was stopping you from attending. 

“I’m sure” two words, you could handle saying two words. 

“You know there will be a place for you if your plans change” Your best friend still remained hopeful that you would be there on her big day. That hope however was shattered into smithereens with your next sentence and it left her wondering what you truly meant.

“We both know I don’t have any plans” there’s no way that Leah could think you would miss her wedding if not for a very good reason. She had to have felt the connection you both had and you knew that if the roles were reversed then she would do the exact same thing.

With that being said you got into your car and Leah watched you drive away. Yes, you were leaving St George’s park but she couldn’t help but think if you were driving away from her as well. 

We both know I don’t have plans.

For weeks those 7 words played on a loop in Leah’s head. What did you mean by them? She was confused.

The night before the wedding you contemplated texting or calling her to tell her that you’re madly in love with her. You had seen the movies and this is one of the ways to get the girl. When you meet up with Jill a couple of days ago she made a joke that you should stand up and profess your love for Leah when the vicar asks if anyone has a reason why her and Jordan shouldn’t get married. You thought about it but ultimately the fear of rejection made your decision for you.

You buried your feeling in the bottle of whiskey that you opened the night you found out about the pending nuptials. It seemed fitting that you would finish the bottle the night before the ceremony.

With a freshly poured glass of the burning liquor, you make you way out to the balcony that looked out over the city of london. Even though it was late there were several people walking the streets. You thought for moment if one of them could be your person but you knew that there would never be anyone that compared to Leah. She was it for you. She might be your person but Jordan was hers or was she?

Your phone went off signalling you had received a text message.

I’m at your door.

The text message was from Leah.

You re-read it a couple of times as your mind tried to figure out what the best thing to do was. Your head was telling you to let her in and say nothing but you heart wanted to scream ‘I love you’.

The sight on the other side of the threshold took your breathe away. Leah was wearing a dress which was a rare sight in itself but then you remember that she had a meal with her and Jordan’s families.

You move aside so she can enter your home.

“I’m making a mistake aren’t I?” Her question is asked before you can shut the door. It has been a question that had been on her mind for most of the evening.

A couple of hours ago Leah found herself at a posh restaurant with her parents, her soon to be wife and future in-laws. Her father had off handedly mentioned your name and from that moment on you were the only person Leah could think about. It all became a bit much so she politely excused herself from the table. Jordan stood up prepared to go after her but Leah’s mum said she would go see if everything was ok. 

“Leah…”

“I’m getting married mum. Why aren’t I excited? Why don’t I feel the butterflies? You told me how you were the night before you married dad and this isn’t that” 

Amanda knew why and deep down she knew her daughter knew why as well. The only difference is that the older woman could see what was right in front of her and Leah, for some reason, was blind to it. Leah’s mum saw the way Leah had been with you for years and then she saw the way she was with Jordan. Sure it was love but it wasn’t true love. No, true love was the way Leah would talk about you and how her face would light up at the mention of your name.

“Why do you think? Sweetie, I cannot tell you why. You have the figure this out for yourself”

“That’s not helpful mum” Leah was growing frustrated. For the last couple of weeks she kept feeling overwhelmed and not in the way she should be. The excitement she once felt for getting married had died down.

“Leah you know why. You have told me that you’ve loved two women. Now is the time to figure out which one you want to spend your life with”

“You’re talking about Y/N? We aren’t really talking at the minute”

“And why do you think that is?”

“She’s really busy. She has taken more responsibility on lately”

“and when did this start?” Amanda knew when you had taken on all this work and she knew it had been a distraction.

“I don’t….” Leah thought about it for a brief moment “it was after me and Jordan got engaged” her mother nodded her head. Her daughter was a smart girl and she was getting close.

Just as Leah was about to say something else Jordan interrupted saying that their main course had arrived. Only now Leah had no appetite, nor did she want to back into the restaurant. 

This was your chance, she is giving you the perfect opportunity. All you had to do was be honest with her.

“What do you think is a mistake?” You were a coward.

“Marrying Jordan” She goes straight to your freezer as she takes the bottle of Vodka out and pours herself a glass. 

“Do you love her? Are you in love with her?” You asked her the questions hoping that she would answer the way you wanted.

“I do” 

For a split second you mind wanders. You are in the church with Leah standing opposite you, she says those same words before you kiss your bride. You quickly shake the thoughts from your head. 

“Then no, it isn’t a mistake” 

You couldn’t blame Leah for the way you were feeling, you were breaking your own heart.

“You think it is though? That’s why you have barely talked to me since I told I was getting married” 

Leah continued to push you. It felt like she wanted to you to tell her not to get married but you couldn’t do that.

“I won’t lie, it’s been hard. It has been me and you for the longest time, now it will be you and her”

This was another thing. You wasn’t only losing your one true love, you were losing your best friend. 

“It will still be me and you” 

“No it won’t. It hasn’t been for a while now”

“That’s not on me Y/N”

Leah was right, it wasn’t but it didn’t make it easier. The tension between the two of you was building and you knew it wouldn’t end well if the conversation continued so you decided to change the subject. You mind says something before you heart can stop it.

“What if I come tomorrow?” Why were you asking this? It wasn’t something you wanted.

“You had pla-“ Leah stops herself as she remembers what you said in the car park “You don’t have plans so why are you suddenly saying you’ll come”

“Do you want me there?” You pull the oldest trick in the avoidance book and answer her question with a question of your own.

Leah nods. Everything felt right when you were with her and she knew that she was getting cold feet although the reason why was lost on her. In that moment you do what you haven’t done this entire time and you put Leah’s wants and needs ahead of your own. 

“Do you want to come?” 

“What I want doesn’t matter” for the first time since she stepped foot in your apartment you look her in the eye. Oh those blue eyes. You see the ocean in her eyes but she sees pain and heartbreak in yours. In that moment, for the first time, she hears a small voice in her head telling her ‘you’re hurting her Leah’.

“Do you promise to come to my wedding?” Leah asks selfishly.

You hold your pinky out. Never in all the years of knowing Leah had you broken at pinky promise. 

You hold out your little finger but you don’t say the words, you can’t. You know that the night needs to end before you say something you cannot take back so you go to the door and hold it open for Leah.

For the first since you moved into your apartment, she doesn’t feel welcome.

“Y/N” she grabs your hand “What is wrong? You can tell me, we don’t keep secrets”

“Things change Leah” you pull away from her touch. Never have you spoken a sentence that held so many meanings. 

You watch Leah as she enters the elevator. Once she is out of sight you close your door. A mighty weight comes crashing down on you. This was actually happening, Leah was going to marry Jordan. She gave you the chance to stop and you didn’t take it. 

The next day you found yourself standing in the mirror. You had your emergency event suit on and you remember the irony that is that Leah helped pick it out. In that moment neither of you thought you would be wearing it to her wedding. 

The ceremony was at a small church in Milton Keynes. You thought about asking Millie if she wanted to carpool but ultimately decide against it. This way if you changed your mind at the last minute nobody would know. So far everyone in attendance thought you weren’t coming and you chose to keep it that way.

It felt as if you heart was shaking as you entered the church. All heads turned to face you and you could tell that they were all wondering why you were there. You took a place next to Jill and Viv and sat on the aisle. The two Dutchies were close friends of yours, they knew your feeling towards the bride to be but you also knew they would ask no questions. What you didn’t notice is that some of your England team mates sat in front of you.

“I knew you would come. You’re going to stop it, right?” Lucy asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m here to support Leah on her big day just as you all are” support was a strong word but it sounded like the right thing to say. What you didn’t expect was for those who were looking at you to do so with pity in their eyes. 

“Guys, it’s ok, really” it was delusion talking and that was confirmed when you locked eyes with Amanda who was sitting on the front row. She looked at you with an expression you did not recognise before proceeding to shake her head. What was she trying to tell you? Was she saying no? No to you being there? No to Leah not wanting to get married? You didn’t have a clue. 

The church grew silent and you know the wedding was starting. Jordan came down the aisle first and she looked beautiful then came Leah. You were on your feet and when you saw her you wanted to sit back down as it hit you that you shouldn’t be here. If not for Jill then you would have sunk into your seat for the Dutch had held you up. When you looked back at her she saw that your eyes had glassed over. 

“You’ve got this” she tried to reassure you and she was wrong but you didn’t have much of a choice. When Leah walk past you she smiled, she was happy. That made you return the smile. You kept telling yourself that if Leah was happy then you could be happy for her.

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Jordan spoke about Leah as if she hung the stars but there was something about the way Leah spoke. You had been there for the highs and lows of her and Jordan’s relationship. Time and time again you heard Leah speak about how Jordan made her feel and all the memories they had shared yet when it came down to the vows her voice was shaky. Something was wrong and once again Amanda looked your way. This time round the reason why she was shaking her head was clear. Leah didn’t want this. 

When the vicar asked if anyone had any objections you felt eyes on you from your left, right and some burning holes into the back on your head but no gaze felt as strong as your best friend. She was looking at you, she was begging you to say something but you couldn’t. 

What happened next was unexpected. Jordan leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Jordan didn’t care for the church full of people. She wanted to know what was going on in Leah’s head. 

“I can’t marry you Jordan” whilst Jordan’s words were a whisper, Leah’s were loud enough for everyone to hear, yourself included.

With that being said Leah ran down the aisle and out of the church. Nobody knew what to do or so you thought. Turns out the mother of the bride knew exactly what needed to happen.

“Go after her” Amanda says. You look at Jordan wondering what is taking so long to go after Leah only that isn’t who she is talking to. “Y/N, go” 

Suddenly all eyes were on you. You didn’t know what to do. 

“Y/N” you turn to face Jill “this is your chance. You told me that you have loved Leah for years and now is your chance to tell her” 

You look at Jordan who still stood at the front of the alter and mouth I’m sorry.

Leah was almost at the car she came in by the time you reach the doors of the church. 

“Leah!!” You shout as you run after her.

“Why did you tell me to marry her?” Leah was angry at you but you didn’t understand why. In your eyes you were doing the right thing.

“Because you said you loved her. I can’t stand in the middle of that Leah”

“What if I love someone else more? I am going to ask you one more time and I want you to tell me the truth. No avoiding and no lies. Why didn’t want to come today?” 

Now is your chance. That is what Jill told you. Now, right now in this very moment, is the chance for you to tell Leah exactly how you felt. 

“Because I couldn’t stand there and watch you marry Jordan. I didn’t want to be in the audience as you vow to love someone for the rest of your life when that someone isn’t me. I love you Leah and knowing you were going to marry someone else destroyed me. I have been working myself to the bone to stay distracted so that I don’t think about it and about you. My heart has been in pieces since the day you told me you were engaged. I hoped that I could make myself get over you but it was impossible. I should have known that I couldn’t get over you in a matter of months when I hadn’t been able to do so in years. You’re all I’ve ever wanted Leah”

“You should have said something. The vicar gave you a chance to say something” 

“Oh you sound like Jill”

“Jill knows?”

“Lee, everyone knows I love you. It was only you that couldn’t see it”

There it was. No more Leah, it was back to Lee. Being with you in this very moment lifted a weight off of Leah that she didn’t know was suffocating her. Then again everything did feel right when she was with you. All of a sudden she notices the signs. There has been plenty over the years but you were right, Leah was blind to them all. How could she has missed something that has been standing right in front of her.

Silence grew between you. You could tell Leah was thinking and given every thing that had happened in the last ten minutes you gave her space. She has just ran out of her wedding leaving the woman she thought she loved behind. 

“I’ve made a mistake” 

You felt your heart drop as she finished her sentence. 

“I understand. It’s not too late to go back in there. We can say you got overwhelmed but you do want to marry Jordan” even now, after you have just confessed your love, you were willing to follow your best friend’s lead. 

“No, I made a mistake with Jordan. I knew I had feelings for you when I started dating her. She was a distraction but then I started to care for her. When she proposed it seemed like the right thing to do” 

“That’s not what you should feel when someone proposes to you” 

This is something she knew but when you have someone down on one knee in front of you it is hard to differentiate between what you actually want and what you think you want. 

“What do you want Leah?” You asked hoping she would be honest not just with you but also with herself.

“I don’t want to marry Jordan” confession number one.

“I don’t want to wear this dress anymore” confession number two.

Then came what she did want.

“I want to be with the girl that I love, truly and deeply love. I want to be with you”

You nodded your head with a huge smile on your face. Now it was time to act on what Leah has just told you. The blonde watched you dial a number in your phone.

“What are you doing?” 

“Rectifying the situation” you playfully wink at her.

You paced forwards and backwards as you wait for the person on the other end of the line to answer.

“Hi. Yes, Leah is with me. I think she is ok, Leah are you ok?” Leah nods “yeah, she is ok. There isn’t going to be a wedding Amanda. Leah doesn’t want to marry Jordan. You will? Thank you. Of course I will look after her”

Confession one, dealt with. Confession two might be a bit hard right now so you skip to confession three.

“Do you really love me? I know I just layed a lot on you and you are probably very overwhelmed right now”

In less than a second you feel Leah’s lips on yours. This act of intimacy was her way of answering your question and it couldn’t have been clearer. You didn’t want to take advantage of the situation but everything in you was screaming, begging, for you to deepen the kiss so that is exactly what you do.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since Paris” you remember the moment vividly and wonder if it would have felt this way back then or if it would feel different.

“Maybe if you did then it could have been us in that church today. We wouldn’t have wasted years being apart”

“Don’t worry Lee, I don’t plan on wasting another second” and with that you kiss her again but this time you kiss her with all the pent up love that you had buried deep down. 

[bookwormjust]

An impromptu nap (established relationship, Azriel’s mate, babysitting Nyx)

The afternoon with Nyx had been nothing short of delightful, but now, as the soft evening light filtered through the curtains, you were completely worn out. The day had been filled with laughter and play—an early morning trip to the market, baking cookies, painting, and running around in the garden. Nyx had insisted on doing everything with you, his tiny hands tugging on your sleeve, his bright violet eyes filled with excitement and endless energy. He adored you, and by the time evening rolled around, the both of you were exhausted.

Now, the little boy slept peacefully in your arms, his head nestled against your chest as you both lay stretched out on the sofa, the warmth of his small body a comforting weight. You had fallen asleep without even realizing it, cradling Nyx as if he were your own. The soft rise and fall of his chest matched your slow breathing, and a peaceful silence filled the room.

Azriel had returned home just a short while ago, quietly entering the room. He paused when he saw the two of you curled up together on the sofa, a soft smile spreading across his face. His shadows swirled lazily at his feet, reflecting the calm he felt at the sight. You looked so serene, with Nyx held close to you, and he couldn’t help but feel a swell of love in his chest. He adored how naturally you took to the little boy, and it warmed his heart to see you like this, nurturing and gentle.

Not wanting to disturb either of you, Azriel grabbed a book from the shelf and settled into an armchair across the room. He glanced over at you now and then, his sharp hazel eyes filled with affection as he read quietly, keeping a watchful eye on both you and Nyx.

When Rhysand and Feyre finally arrived to pick up their son, Azriel met them at the door, a finger pressed to his lips in a silent gesture. “They’re both asleep,” he whispered, his wings tucked tightly behind him as he led them into the room.

Rhysand smiled at the sight of you and Nyx, his eyes soft with gratitude. Feyre looked equally touched, her gaze lingering on her sleeping son. Azriel nodded toward the sofa, silently telling them not to wake you. Feyre moved with practiced ease, carefully lifting Nyx from your arms without so much as a murmur from the little boy.

Rhysand, ever graceful, whispered his thanks to Azriel, who merely nodded, his shadows flickering softly around the room. Feyre cradled Nyx against her chest, and they quietly made their way to the door, leaving you undisturbed.

Azriel watched them go, then returned to his seat, his eyes falling back on you. He could’ve woken you, could’ve said something, but he decided to let you rest. The day had been long, and you deserved the peace of sleep after keeping up with Nyx’s boundless energy. As he sat back down with his book, his shadows wrapped themselves protectively around you, ensuring that you slept soundly under their watch.

For now, he was content to let you rest, knowing that when you woke, he'd be there waiting, as always.

[huntingtonwestvirginia]

[butchdiaz]

@treasurehuntbuck well if u insist

kenneth

angela

jlh / aisha (we are split on this one)

tracie

peter

oliver

ryan

jenna and i's ranking of the actors on 911 would get us cancelled i fear........

[speakergame]

Progress Update - 3/4/24

Hello and happy March!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 😅 Well, I finally have some good news for you this time: I have some actual news!

I'm happy to be able to announce at last that an update is on its way! I’ve still got some assets to make and code cleanup and testing to finish, but I should finally have something to show you soon.

I’ll put a cut at the end of this and go into more detail about the what and why of what I’ve been working on during this long and unintended hiatus, but the tl;dr is that I hope to have an update out by the end of the month, and that said update will break any saves made in Chapter 4. Unfortunate, but unavoidable, since Chapter 4 had to be recoded from the beginning 😞

I just want to thank all of you once again for sticking with me through my extended silence! Especially to my patrons who’ve put up with me putting everything on pause month after month while I dealt with my real life shit, and to everyone who’s sent me kind and supportive messages to let me know Speaker hasn’t been forgotten. It really means a lot to me.

Okay, enough of that sappy shit! I’m gonna get back to work finishing this up 😁 I’ll put out another update later this month once I have a more definite release date.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you’re having a fantastic 2024 so far, and that the rest of the week treats you kindly. See y’all soon! 💙💙💙

(For those who want a more detailed breakdown on what’s been happening and what to expect, hit the readmore)

I won’t go into the personal life stuff I’ve been dealing with this past year that has slowed down my work, but as far as the actual game goes: 

To put it simply, I just wasn’t happy with it. Some of it could be because of how many times I had to reread the same section while I was coding the scenes that would’ve taken place after the last update, but no matter how much I edited or rearranged it, I didn’t like how that scene turned out. There was something… formulaic that had been happening with the way I always laid out scenes, and a bit of stagnation in the story, character, and relationship development that bothered me.

So I rewrote it. And when I still didn’t like it, I rewrote it again. And I still didn’t like it. I thought about scrapping the whole thing on more than one occasion as I struggled to get out of the corner I’d written myself into.

Inspiration finally struck at the beginning of this year, thanks in part to another interactive novel I follow, and I really like the direction I’ve taken it now. 

Instead of the RO split scenes happening where the last one left off, Speaker, Seer, and Gavin are gonna have a chat about Things™ to move the next story arc forward. Then Speaker will get some downtime, by themself at first and then in an extended scene split with the RO of their choosing. 

All the Big Plot Things that were going to happen in Chapter 4 will be moved to Chapter 5 instead, and 4 will be a bit more of a filler episode. A deep breath before the plunge, as it were.

This split won’t just be a quick conversation/reaction from the RO, but a full on different direction for the rest of the chapter based on who you choose. Most of them will involve leaving the house; all of them will involve actual one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, as the case may be) away from the others. And though romance isn’t required, all of them will have the potential to really move the romance forward if you so choose. One or two might even have a lock-in choice (maybe. I’m not 100 percent on that, so don’t hold me to it) 

These scenes won’t be in the next update, because they’re all very complex, but the update will definitely have the Seer chat and at least some of the by-yourself stuff. The update after will have the rest of the alone time stuff (including the clothes/body CC you’ve all been waiting for), and then the one after will start the RO scenes. I think.

I may actually split the RO scenes into separate updates, and let my darlings over at Patreon vote for the order they’re released. That way I can focus on one at a time instead of trying to split my attention six ways at once.

Okay, that’s enough rambling for me today. Time to get back to work! Still got a lot to get done before this is ready, but it’s so close now.

[noisydelusionlove]

Chapter 1: We Need a Medic

Not edited or beta read or anything, just getting my idea out I guess.

Pairing: Poly141xOriginal Character (I might turn it into a reader but I don’t know)

Warnings: military inaccuracies, medical inaccuracies, COD inaccuracies, A/B/O dynamics

John Price looks up from his stack of papers as a frantic knock sounds on his door. “Enter” he calls out, the door flying open almost immediately. Gavin, the most recent Beta medic comes in, his moves frantic as he stares at the head Alpha of Pack 141. “I quit, I’m done. I’ve met a lot of crazy Alpha’s but he tried to rip my throat out!” Gavin yells as he stares at John. John gives a sigh as he nods.

“I’ll have your papers sent by the end of day.” He says as the Beta leaves quickly, the scent of fear and panic permeates the office causing John to crinkle his nose.

John stands from his desk with a groan as he makes his way to the side of the barracks that houses the medical office.

When he enters the medical office the smell of burning rubber hits his nose, angry Alpha. John’s nose crinkles as he breathes it in, followed by a calming smell of rain. When he enters the room completely he sees Simon sitting on the medical bed with Johnny pressed to his chest, in an attempt to calm him.

“Scared another one away huh Ghost?” John sighs as he meets the angry eyes of Simon behind his black balaclava. “Trying to poke around when I told him I was fine.” Simon grunts out, causing John to shake his head. “How copy?” John sighs as he runs a hand through his beard. “Solid cap, it was just a scratch.” Simon responds as he motions with his chin to the wound on his arm where a bullet grazed him on the last mission. John nods as he turns and heads back to his office. John shuts the door behind him and sits at his desk with a sigh. He reaches for the cigar box on his desk, quick to light one to attempt to calm his nerves.

The shrill sound of his office phone takes his attention as he sighs again and reaches for it. “Price” he says only as he places the receiver to his ear. “Trouble in paradise I see.” A female voice comes from the other end. “Hi Kate” John grunts as he leans back in his chair. “Ghost chased away another medic I see.” Kate sighs as John grunts in affirmation. “Word travels fast, poor pup just quit.” John says as he ashes the cigar into the tray on his desk. “I have a suggestion.” Kate says, her tone serious. “and that would be?” John groans as he rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “You’ll see when I land ETA 15 minutes.” Kate simply says before the line goes silent. John places the phone back on the receiver and lets out a loud huff.

John sighs as he stands at the hangar watching at the helicopter descends to the landing pad. Once the helicopter is stopped the door open and out steps Kate Laswell. “Good to see you old man.” Kate calls, causing John to roll his eyes as he takes her hand in greeting. The two of them head off of the air field and into the cart to take them to his office. “I hope this suggestion of yours is going to solve my medic problem.” John states as he glances at Kate. Kate gives a small nod as the cart stops and they step out, heading to his office.

Once the door is closed Kate pulls a file out and drops it on John’s desk. “Former sniper, marine trained medic, more than capable of handling all of your men especially Simon. Feral gives just as much as they take. I guarantee they’ll survive here.” Kate says matter of factly. John eyes the file suspiciously. He opens it and notices the first page, the profile page is missing. “Kate-“ he starts but is silenced as Kate shakes her head. “Read it first before I give you the profile. Make your decision based on skill before anything else.” Kate says, her tone shifting, her inner Alpha coming out. John sighs as he reads through the file, his eyebrows raising at the scores and recommendations this medic has received.

“Sniper to medic huh?” John says as he eyes Kate curiously. “Wanted a change of pace.” Kate says, but it’s obvious there’s something she isn’t saying. “Look, this medic seems great but I know there’s more to it. I can’t have another Alpha here. It’s already difficult with me and Ghost. Ghost is an apex, his instincts are stronger than even mine, a third Alpha could be dangerous.” John says as he stares at her. Kate shakes her head. “Not an Alpha, I promise.” She responds. “Would you hire them?” Kate watches as John nods. “They look like a dream come true but I know you’re not telling me the whole story.” John leans back as Kate nods. “So, feral, Sargent Lee, will be here tomorrow to start her new job.” Kate says, causing John to nod. “Here’s the profile.” Kate smirks as she tosses a paper down causing John’s eyes to widen. The profile shows a young woman, barely 30, the name Aurora Lee underneath and in bold letters it states ‘Classification : OMEGA’. John’s eyes shoot to Kate as she stands there smirking. “Your new medic is an Omega and I promise you she isn’t like an Omega you have met before.” Kate states, causing John to growl slightly. “This won’t end well.” He says as he shakes his head. “I think it will end perfectly.” Kate smiles as she turns to leave his office. “I’ll see you tomorrow when she arrives.” Kate calls as the door shuts. John stares at the picture of his new medic, his new omega medic with a sigh. “The boys are going to flip.” He mutters to himself.

Next Chapter>>>

Masterlist>>>

Silver heart knot divider by @tsunami-of-tears

MDNI divider by @arlerts-angel

Header by me

[bananafiction]

The Weight of Silence Part 1

Olivia Benson x Genderless Reader

2k words

The precinct hummed with the low buzz of voices, the rhythmic clicking of keyboards, and the shuffling of files as the Special Victims Unit delved into another case. You leaned back in your chair, stretching your tired arms over your head, stealing a glance at Captain Olivia Benson’s office. The glass walls of her office provided a clear view of her, head bent over a pile of files, her brow furrowed in concentration. Her desk lamp cast a soft glow that framed her in shadows, giving her an aura of authority and elegance.

You had been Olivia’s lieutenant for years now. Together, you’d seen more horrors than you cared to remember, stood in the thick of crimes that shook the city to its core, and brought justice to those who couldn’t fight for themselves. But through it all, you had stood by Olivia’s side. It wasn’t just a professional relationship—it was a bond forged in fire, through trust, respect, and something more, something neither of you dared to acknowledge.

There was an undeniable chemistry between you, something you could feel in every shared glance, every brush of her hand against yours, and every quiet moment spent side by side, piecing together the details of a case. It lingered like a shadow between you, this unspoken tension that crackled in the air, and though you both pretended it wasn’t there, everyone in the precinct knew.

“Lieutenant, we got something.” Fin’s voice broke you from your thoughts.

You turned toward him, grateful for the distraction. He held a tablet out to you, a frown pulling at his lips. “Take a look at this.”

You took the tablet, your eyes narrowing as you read over the autopsy report. The victim, a 16-year-old girl named Lily Sampson, had been found three days earlier in a dilapidated apartment building on the outskirts of Manhattan. Bruises covered her body, and the evidence pointed to a particularly violent sexual assault. The medical examiner had just confirmed that the DNA found at the scene was a match for a known predator—a man by the name of Gavin Ross, who had slipped through the cracks of the justice system more than once. A chill ran down your spine. Ross was bad news, and if he was involved, this case was far from over.

Olivia emerged from her office, her sharp gaze landing on you. She seemed to sense the change in the room, her posture immediately shifting to one of alertness. “What do we have?”

You passed her the tablet. “It’s worse than we thought. DNA came back, and it’s a match for Gavin Ross.”

Her eyes darkened as she skimmed through the report. “Ross… Damn it. I thought we’d locked him up two years ago.”

“We did. He got out on a technicality. Bad evidence collection on a prior case,” you said, your voice laced with frustration. “And now we’ve got a dead teenager on our hands.”

Olivia clenched her jaw, her eyes flashing with anger and determination. “We’re not letting him slip through again. Not this time.”

Her resolve was one of the things you admired most about her. No matter how dark or twisted a case got, she never gave up. But with cases like this, you knew it took a toll. She bore the weight of every victim, carried the burden of every injustice like a cross. You saw it in the way her shoulders tensed at every new revelation, in the tired lines that had begun to crease her face.

“Let’s bring him in,” Olivia said, her voice firm. “Fin, Rollins, see if you can get an address on Ross. He’s slippery, but he’s got a pattern. Check the usual haunts.”

As the team dispersed, you caught up to Olivia. “Do you think we’ll get him this time?”

Her expression softened for just a moment, a fleeting crack in her armor. “We have to.”

Hours passed in a blur of dead ends and frustration. Ross had gone underground. Fin and Rollins had come up empty at every location they searched. You could see the tension building in Olivia’s shoulders, the weight of the case pressing down on her. As the clock ticked closer to midnight, the squad room began to empty out, officers heading home or grabbing a few hours of sleep before the next shift. But you and Olivia remained, as always, locked in the hunt.

You sat across from her at her desk, the two of you going over case notes, when Olivia suddenly slammed a file shut, frustration bubbling over. “We’re missing something,” she muttered, rubbing her temples.

You watched her carefully. “We’ll find him, Liv. We always do.”

She looked up at you, her eyes softening at the sound of your voice. There it was again, that unspoken connection—just beneath the surface, always there, always waiting. “You should go home. Get some rest. We’ll pick this up tomorrow.”

“I’ll go when you go,” you said, your voice gentle but firm.

A small smile tugged at her lips, the first one you’d seen all day. “Stubborn as ever, huh?”

You shrugged, leaning back in your chair. “It’s one of my many talents.”

The brief flicker of amusement in her eyes warmed your chest, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come, replaced by the heavy burden of the case. Olivia’s hand moved to the file in front of her, fingers tracing the edge of a photograph of the victim, her eyes distant. “She was so young,” she whispered, more to herself than to you. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

You stood and moved around her desk, standing beside her. You didn’t say anything—there was nothing to say that would make it better. But you placed a hand on her shoulder, offering silent support. She glanced up at you, and for a moment, something passed between you, something raw and unguarded.

Her gaze flicked to your hand on her shoulder, and you quickly pulled away, clearing your throat. The tension crackled in the air like static electricity, the pull between you undeniable. But, like always, it was left unsaid.

Before either of you could say anything more, Rollins burst through the doors of the squad room, her face flushed with urgency. “We’ve got something. A tip came in—Ross was spotted at a motel down in Hell’s Kitchen. We’ve got units headed there now.”

Olivia shot to her feet, all traces of fatigue gone. “Let’s go.”

You were already moving, adrenaline pumping through your veins as the three of you rushed out of the precinct, sirens blaring as you sped through the darkened streets of Manhattan.

The motel was a run-down, seedy place tucked away in the shadows of Hell’s Kitchen. The kind of place where people disappeared. As you approached, your heart pounded in your chest. This was it—your chance to bring Ross in before he slipped away again.

“Units have the perimeter secured,” Rollins reported, her voice low as the three of you approached the motel doors, weapons drawn. “He’s holed up in room 214.”

Olivia nodded, her face a mask of focus. “Let’s do this.”

You took position beside her, exchanging a quick glance. In that brief second, the rest of the world fell away. It was just you and her, two parts of the same machine, moving together without needing to speak. The trust between you was absolute.

Olivia knocked on the door, her voice authoritative. “NYPD! Gavin Ross, open up!”

Silence.

Your grip tightened on your weapon, your pulse quickening. Every second felt like an eternity. Then, suddenly, the door flew open, and Ross bolted.

“Stop!” Olivia shouted, but Ross didn’t listen.

You sprang into action, chasing him down a narrow alley behind the motel. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the confined space as you closed the distance between you. You could hear Olivia right behind you, her breath labored but determined.

Ross darted around a corner, but you were faster. You lunged forward, tackling him to the ground. He struggled, but you pinned him down, twisting his arm behind his back as you slapped the cuffs on him.

Olivia was beside you in an instant, her eyes blazing with triumph. “You’re done, Ross. You’re not getting away this time.”

Ross spat at her feet, but Olivia didn’t flinch. She stood tall, her presence commanding as always, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. This was what you did, what you both did—together.

Back at the precinct, the team was abuzz with the victory. Ross was in custody, the case was wrapped, and Lily Sampson’s family would finally have justice. It was a rare moment of celebration in a job that so often ended in heartbreak.

As the adrenaline began to wear off, you found yourself back at Olivia’s office. She was sitting at her desk, her expression thoughtful, but there was a quiet satisfaction in her eyes.

You knocked softly on the doorframe. “Mind if I come in?”

She looked up, a small smile playing on her lips. “Always.”

You stepped inside, closing the door behind you. There was a comfortable silence between you, the weight of the case finally lifting. But just as you began to settle into that brief moment of reprieve, your phone buzzed. The precinct’s alert system flashed across the screen—a new development. Something big.

Olivia’s phone buzzed at the same time. She looked at you, her brow furrowing. “What is it?”

You glanced at your phone. “Ross’s prints came up on another crime scene. It just came in.”

Olivia’s face darkened, the weariness of the day replaced by a sharp edge of concern. “Another crime scene? When?”

You scrolled through the alert. “Two days ago. The body of a woman found in a park in Queens. Her face wasn’t recognizable, but the prints match Ross.”

A heavy silence settled between you. You thought you had him, thought this was finally over, but it seemed Ross had been busy before you caught him. Another victim. Another life lost.

Olivia rubbed her temples, her voice low but full of resolve. “We need to talk to him again. If there’s another victim, we can’t afford to wait.”

You nodded, already standing up. “I’ll grab the case file on the new victim. Let’s go make sure he doesn’t slither out of this one.”

The precinct was quieter now, the late hour thinning out most of the officers and detectives, but as you and Olivia moved with purpose toward the holding cells, it felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. Cases like this were never clean, never simple. They stuck to you, left scars that couldn’t be healed.

When you reached the interrogation room, Ross was slouched in his chair, his wrists shackled to the table, his face twisted into a smug smile that made your stomach turn. The guy had no remorse—he never had. He glanced up lazily as you and Olivia entered, his expression daring you to do something.

Olivia didn’t waste any time. “We found your prints at a second crime scene, Gavin. Two days ago. Another woman dead. You think this is over?”

He shrugged. “You got me on one, Benson. But two? You sure about that?”

You exchanged a quick glance with Olivia. This was typical of predators like Ross—never give anything up unless they had to. His cocky demeanor only made the tension between you and Olivia grow thicker, the unspoken frustration of dealing with another monster who thought he could outsmart the system.

Olivia stepped closer, her voice low and dangerous. “We’re sure, Gavin. And so is the DA. This isn’t just about Lily anymore. You’re going down for both, and we’ll make sure you rot in a cell for the rest of your miserable life.”

Ross’s smirk faltered slightly, but he leaned forward, his eyes glittering with something dark and twisted. “You really think you know me, Benson? You think you know everything I’ve done?” He chuckled, a sound that made your blood boil. “There’s more. And you won’t even scratch the surface.”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed, her jaw clenched. You could feel the anger radiating off her in waves, but she didn’t give in to his provocation. Instead, she motioned for you to step outside with her.

Once in the hallway, you could see the tension in her posture, the way her fingers drummed against her side. You knew what she was thinking—this case was spiraling, and the more you learned, the darker it became.

“He’s taunting us,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, but her frustration clear.

You nodded, your mind racing. “He’s hiding something. We need to dig deeper—check for other unsolved cases, anything that fits his MO.”

Olivia turned to you, her eyes intense, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to slow. You were standing closer than usual, the small space between you filled with that ever-present tension. Her eyes flicked over your face, lingering for just a moment too long.

You swallowed, feeling the pull, that undeniable chemistry that had been simmering for years. “We’ll get him,” you said, your voice softer than intended.

Olivia held your gaze for a second longer before nodding, her expression softening just a fraction. “We always do.”

The next day passed in a blur of information gathering and connecting dots. You worked tirelessly alongside Olivia, poring over files, cross-referencing old cases, and piecing together Ross’s movements. What you uncovered was chilling.

There were at least three other unsolved cases over the past year that matched Ross’s MO—each victim a young woman, each one lured to an isolated location and murdered brutally. The cases had slipped through the cracks, but now, with Ross in custody, it was clear he had been hunting for far longer than anyone had realized.

You and Olivia sat across from one another at a table covered in photos, maps, and reports. Your shoulders brushed occasionally as you leaned in to point out connections, the closeness sending small shocks through you. It was nothing new—this proximity—but lately, it felt heavier, more charged.

As you pointed to a spot on the map, showing where one of the victims had been found, Olivia’s hand brushed yours. Neither of you pulled away immediately, and your eyes met, lingering just a beat too long. There it was again—that unspoken electricity that had crackled between you for years.

You cleared your throat, pulling your hand back and trying to refocus. “If we push the DA, we might be able to tie Ross to these other cases. Build a stronger profile.”

Olivia nodded, her voice a little quieter than before. “You’re right. Let’s get the detectives on it.”

But even as you both continued to talk strategy, the air between you felt different. Something had shifted in that moment of accidental touch, something that neither of you wanted to fully acknowledge.

It was late again, the precinct emptying out as you and Olivia prepared for one final push. Ross had been formally charged for Lily’s murder and the second victim, but the investigation was far from over. You both knew there were more victims, more pieces to the puzzle that needed to be solved.

You found yourself sitting on the edge of Olivia’s desk as she reviewed the updated case files, the soft light from her desk lamp casting a warm glow over the room. There was a comfortable silence between you, the weight of the day’s work settling into your bones, but there was also something else—something that made your chest tighten every time you looked at her.

Olivia glanced up at you, her lips curving into a small, tired smile. “You’re still here.”

You shrugged, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. “I said I’d go when you go.”

She tilted her head slightly, her gaze holding yours for a moment before she spoke again. “You always have my back, don’t you?”

There was something in her voice—something softer, more vulnerable. It caught you off guard.

“Always,” you replied, your voice equally soft. The word felt heavier than usual, like it carried more than just professional loyalty.

Olivia leaned back in her chair, exhaling slowly. The tension that usually held her so tightly seemed to slip away, and for the first time that night, she looked almost relaxed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you here.”

Your breath caught in your throat, the intensity of her words hanging between you. For a moment, the case, the precinct, the entire world seemed to fade away. All that remained was the two of you, the unspoken bond that had always been there but had never been acknowledged.

You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but before the words could come, the sound of your phone buzzing on the desk shattered the moment.

You both blinked, the spell broken. Olivia sat up straighter, her usual mask of composure slipping back into place as she glanced at your phone. “Looks like you’ve got a message.”

You grabbed the phone, glancing down at the screen. It was a notification from Fin—Ross’s lawyer had arrived at the precinct, and they were prepping for another round of questioning in the morning.

Olivia stood, her expression shifting back to business as usual. “Looks like tomorrow’s going to be another long day.”

You nodded, slipping your phone into your pocket. “Yeah. Guess we should call it a night.”

As you both gathered your things, the tension between you returned, heavier than ever. But just like always, it remained unspoken.

As you walked out of the precinct together, the cool night air hitting your skin, you stole one last glance at Olivia. There was something in her eyes, something you couldn’t quite read, but before you could dwell on it, she gave you a small smile.

“Good night,” she said softly.

“Good night, Olivia,” you replied, your heart aching with everything you couldn’t say.

And as you both went your separate ways, the weight of silence followed you, lingering in the air like a promise waiting to be fulfilled.

[bigboy-lovers-unite-writes]

Where/how I feel like they would take you out on a first date!!!

Connor; he did alot of research on your favorite things and what humans usually liked to do, especially on a first date. He figured it would be nice to just talk with you and bring you out to a park for a walk, maybe sit down and hold hands or something. He's definitely very vanilla when it comes to dates, but he's still trying!!

Markus; definitely takes you to somewhere fun. Wether that be an arcade, a carnival or fair, he just wants the both of you to have fun together. He likes seeing you happy, plus he would like to try stuff like games and fun things with you <3

Kara; would probably prefer to stay somewhere safer like inside, but you could convince her to go out if you really tried. She just wants the both of you to be okay and safe. Would make some food for you and watch TV and cuddle sm 😭

Simon; sweet boy oml. Would do probably anything for you, would stay inside, take you out, buy you stuff, anything!! Being a domestic model for kids, he probably knows how to cook decently too. Asks for a hug and maybe a kiss after the date 🤭

Gavin; Prick, but he does semi care. Might take you out to get a burger or a coffee if he's feeling generous, but would actually care about what you want. Would share his food or drink with you, it's like a love language for him at this point. Basically demands you two hold hands or lock arms

Hank; he thinks he's too old for dating anymore, so he would let you pick and drag him around to a store or around town. Like gavin, would definitely appreciate it if you two stopper and got some lunch while out. Giving Sumo a bath is like a date for you two, he really needs help washing the big dog 😭

North; she might act like she doesn't care, she kinda does. She wants to do what she mostly wants to do, but also takes your thoughts into consideration. You two will probably cause some trouble around town or mess with some of the other androids in Jericho or town. She loves getting closer to someone while having fun <3

Ralph; LET HIM DO IT FOR YOU 😭 he will be so sad if you try to plan against his plans. If he's going out with you, you already have him trusting you alot. Will accidentally rant about plants the entire time since he feels like he can share it to you. Definitely wants to garden with you, and will try to cook (he really does try his best)

Elijah; he's rich, he's gonna treat you like royalty (probably). Honestly I think he knows how to cook, but be might make one of his other androids cook something for the two of you. Would probably build an android just for you as a sign of affection or some shi 😭 let's you run his credit card up

Daniel; he really, really cares about everything. If it's an at home date, he will clean the entire place and made it look amazing and set up a little area for a date. Probably wants to build a pillow fort. If you two go out, he will be a little anxious and holding his hand makes him feel alot better <3

Nines; honestly probably doesn't like dates too much, will complain the entire time but does go with you if you go out, wants to make sure you're not being stupid. Will want to have a long conversation about anything, and will more than likely want to be next to you no matter what during/after the date wherever yall went

Luther; huge sweetheart fr 😭 would love to stay home and cuddle or just take care of anything you need. He loves to make sure you're alright. He will probably go out to a small quiet area with you and just sit in silence and hold hands, maybe say he loves you

Jerry/s; obviously gonna take you to an amusement park, maybe their own amusement park since they miss having visitors 😔 they're always cheery and happy so they would love to do anything, play in the snow, play games, talk, anything!