#sighs. a hopeless bean lives here. tiny and sensitive. do not step on pls ._. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

autisticlee · 2 months ago

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why is it easier to get my stubborn cat that never listens to do things than it is to get people to do things with me? I don't get it. 😭 but everyone I ask does things with other people all the time. it's just me they ignore/say no to? so it has to be me and not them right? so what is wrong with me that keeps people away? 😭😭😭😭😭 is it my lack of personality? inability to speak enough/properly? being autistic in general? People say "it's not your problem if they don't like you for those reasons" but if I KNOW it's for those reasons, then I'll know to give up sooner instead of wasting time and energy for nothing. does that make sense?

#lee rants #people are hard #humaning is hard #social interaction is hard #friends are hard #idk what to do about it 😭#im trying my best. its discouraging that it takes so much effort for no return 😭😭😭#it's not a im-blaming-myelf thing. it's a i-need-to-know-their-reaons-to-inform-my-future-actions thing.#telling me not my fault doesnt help at all if me being autistic and weird and boring and bad at talking is the reason i struggle #because then the fault of my struggle IS THOSE THINGS #so hard to explain. toxic posivity doesnt help me. makes me feel worse because cant change things by waiting and hoping #but dont have way to change anything if i cant change myself......#sighs. a hopeless bean lives here. tiny and sensitive. do not step on pls ._.

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