#sighh life is tough ���

[wishchip106]

i’m craving cherik in the apocalypse again….

post nuclear-apocalypse lets go 🫡

lets say Shaw manages to start the cold war and now most of the planet is destroyed and nearly everyone is dead except for a select few (cherik)

it’s been a year since they all started living in the mansion’s bunker and things are not going well 🙁❌❌

food and water are getting low, people are having fights, two people died while going outside and cherik are not talking to eachother because they had a really bad fight or something (idk i need some form of tension for them to overcome)

lets say for story sake, Charles needs to go on a quest to find a missing item for Hank’s new invention that’s probably important and Erik decides to go with him

and then yadda yadda yadda, they traverse through the wastelands, meet new societies, nearly die a few times, get over themselves and makeup/out, find the item they were looking for and somehow make it back to the bunker faster than how they left

uhh happily ever after except you can still barely breath the air

very fun 😁 if anyone wants to write this feel free to do so i will gladly read it 🫡🫡

[jeffthekillerzblog]

HII what’s your creepypasta au like =3?

What’s Jeff’s relationship to the other pastas does he get along?

I Know it’s a one sided anon that clockwork sees Jeff and brother figure so that’s very cool

Also is your Jeff evil or silly

hi tulip ily

OKAY so hehhehehe jeffs whole character in my au is super like....conflicting I guess he has tons of depth to him and one of the only creeps whose character I have fully fleshed out LOLL

a lot of the creeps mildly tolerate him, his closets and tbh prob only actual friends are nina and ben. ben and jeff were each others true actual friends. in my auu jeff wanders slender's forest after the incident occurs, and ben finds him roaming snd they hang out for the day. it's jeffs first interaction ever since he ran away and bens first interaction with anyone besides sally and toby. so ya they hit it off and are besties. nina and jeffs relationship was super rocky at the beginning, but after 2 years of their conflict rising and resolving their able to become better friends and later best friends. Nina and Jeff kinda just understand each other, both getting bullied for just being themselves and existing. both nina and ben understand jeff and how his brain works and like...idk out of everyone just know how he really just is a sad and miserable guy.. they understand how tough he's had it and are able to put up with his breakdowns or like ermm melt downs or whatever u know. the difference between ben and nina tho is that ben isn't afraid of jeff. he's seen him at his most vulnerable state that whenever jeff breaks down all ben can see us that sad 15 year old when he first met him, he just feels bad for Jeff and understands him n stuff. Nina isn't too afraid of him but she definitely knows Jeff's scary and he could possibly hurt her again.

with all the other creeps id say they tolerate him enough. People like clockwork, jane, toby, ej etc know he's an asshole and lowkey freaky LOL but they don't really see him the way nina and ben does, and only see him as his narcissistic asshole personality. ESPECIALLY Jane she hates him so bad. But for jeff's character arc I'm thinkin the other creeps will def come around and understand him on a better level.

ANDDD LASTLY jeff is kinda...idk id say in between evil and silly since he CAN be evil. He can be an asshole towards everyone and shut them all out for no reason, but he can also be silly and have fun with them and stuff. but honestly he's mostly just really...really sad... he's miserable he feels lonely even with ben and nina bc idk he just thinks about the life he could've had if none of this had ever happened. he feels terrible about everything and KNOWS he's an asshole, he knows people are scared of him and he pretends that he likes being scary, that he likes doing the stuff he does but really he just sees himself as a monster, and doesn't think he can be anything other than that. He's just given up tbh, wallowing in self pity.

JEFFS CHARACTER MAKES ME SOOO RUIGGHHBB I could literally ramble about him forever. I love him sooo so much guyss....sighh...

but YEAHH ty for the ask tulip WOOHOO :3

[tsunonotarou]

"[...] what do you like about him (Cheka)?" "his uncle"

HELP— I absolutely did not almost laugh out loud. I should've expected that but I didn't? And I'm not surprised but I was still taken aback? Does that make sense??

ALSO! Hello Sem ! Sem the beloved, Sem my beloved ! I hope you're faring well in terms of everything 🥰🥰 I know someone who misses you, and she's decided that every hour is wishing the best for Sem hours—

Hehe ♡♡♡, know that I'm sending you all the love and positive energy to get through whatever ( ^◡^)っ✨✨✨

-Ly <3

referring to this

HHHNHNGNGNGNG BUT ITS THE TRUTH AINT IT??? ITS THE TRUTH AINT IT????

B-But wait…did you just say….did you just say that y-you laughed- you laughed? Because of me? I made you laugh? ARRRRR ARF ARF ARF ARF WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO BE ABLE TO HEAR LY’S LAUGH PLEASE IM GONNA CRY

Life is not good. Life is unfair. To think that I won’t be able to hear Ly’s laugh is already stripping off all my will to live. /hj

YOUR BELOVED ARARARARARARARARARARA ARF ARFA TAFATAF BARK BAKR CRIES ARF ARGH FJSIDYUEYEYEUEUEUEU you can’t do this to my heart Ly wtf 😞💔 you’re killing your own lover Ly do you understand you’re killing me now pay the consequences my love

But I’m doing well 🥺 it’s been tough these few days but everything’s all better now and I’m super grateful for it :D must be because of Ly’s sweet wishes <3 I know someone who misses you too and is dying to talk more with you her name consists of the letters s, e, and m sighh she’s down bad for you I hope you don’t mind her clown ass smh I apologize on behalf of her

EVERY HOUR IS WISHING THE BEST FOR LY HOURS TOO 🗣🗣🗣

Thank you, love 🥺🧡 I am also sending back all the love and positive energy~ it’s going to you, there’s nothing you can stop them now. Heh.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge. 

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can.  I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan:  aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians  wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^

[24jnxh]

Life Story #364

Last night, there is this precious and biggest lesson, I have learnt something new. Sometimes hiding for temporary is okay, but will not be able to hide forever. When someone tells you that “I know everything, dear. I know all things. I just don’t want to say.” – You know it is a sign for you that you should pour it all out already, but you just tank and tank and tank, and probably the person also not sure what to do then you will share. But I shared, though the reply is tough to process, and I did not wrong in the term of processing, and in the end, I got you ignore me because of my character that I have. Last night, I’m asking myself “Joey, is this what you want? If not, work it out on your side. She is not wrong, but you think what mistakes you make to end up yourself at this state of depressive mood? Think about it, if you start sharing with her and not just tell her you taking break, and drawing away from things in life, but share with her what you going through, will you come to this stage of your life?” – I think through, it is so true. If I start sharing with you from the beginning, this will not happen but because I choose to run away from people, choose to hide away from you, I need to bear these consequences. But, right that moment I told myself “Joey, this cannot carry on. Need to change how you always do things. And stop hiding from her. What are the fears you have? Fear she will be like Jaelle and Holly? No, she is totally different. Jaelle and Holly they are soft-hearted, patient with love, thought through their words make sure you not hurt, but what you need? Someone knock your mind, to really break you down till there is nothing to hide, and that someone you can be real and vulnerable to. So, Joey, what you can do now is.. everything be accountable to her, tell her everything and not hide. And she is just a text away, not that she has showed you that she doesn’t care about you, in fact she cares so much and always waiting so patiently. You are the one that make her felt disheartened, you are the one made her felt that she is not a good friend, what you can do now? Mend it back, and share with her everything. Just be real and true to her.” – After speaking that to myself, I woke up myself. Here I want to say, I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I should not hide from you what I’m going through, in fact I should be true and just share with you about it. I’m sorry for not standing in your position to see how you would be feeling. Forgive me. I hope it’s not too late to do what I should be doing. I’ve stopped my ministry, taking a break from everything in my life, but I’ve never stop serving God in my CG. My GPA dropped to 2.5, I was so stress because my exam failed, then retest even you get the highest in the retest they will take the just passed that marks only. Then I’ve a project that I submitted one month later, because I cannot focus my school works, as my mum always been making me stress. Right now, she is storing into my mind that my dad doesn’t care about me, don’t care about this family anymore, don’t love me anymore, and don’t treat me as his daughter anymore. All of these, in the end I’ve been shaken, is it true of what my mum have said? Every night has to see her attitude towards me, need to see her black face, need to see her temper that is thrown towards me, I’m stress and yet I’m tired. I’m a child, why parents issue they want to involve me in? Parent divorce, the child always is the innocence want, but for me.. I’m the child that get involve and pressure with everything. Now, my grandma has passed on. I’m just like “What can I do?” – I’m weak, but how weak am I? Very weak. Why? Because I’m afraid of losing. I don’t want to lose my friends(physical leaving or because of death that leaving) both I also don’t want. That same as my family, but because I know it is part of life parcel. I’m busy all the time, did not have anytime for my grandma, not even finding her for lunch because my school work I cannot catch up already, I really no time, and some more I have work, as well. With all of these, I more pressure. Times, I’m asking “Who can I talk to,” even God told me “Go to her. She is waiting.” Though I know who He is referring to, I never because I’m afraid I will trouble you. But right now, I’m going to put that kind of thought at the back of my mind, and I’m not going to always have that thought anymore. I will make that changes, I will share every single thing with you that is happening in my life. I will not hide from you any single more. All I need is, your trust towards me. I will change till you think I’m okay. If there is any day, I’m not doing good enough, I will improve it and be good. As I will come to you all the times, and I will not hide. I will not even run away if I did anything to make you angry with me, but in fact I will stop doing things that will make you angry. Even if I make you angry and you scold me, I’m not going talkback to you, but I will just listen to what you say and make that change of it. This is what I can assure you, and this is what I can tell you as well. If I go drinking, if I never eat, or when I sick eat unhealthy food, you scold me or smack me, I’ll just keep quiet because I know I’m wrong, I’ve no rights to talk back or defend myself in anyways. I know, right now I have no rights to give you any promise, but I hope you can trust that I really mean it, with this promise I made to you. I guess, I should be the one stepping back. I truly not sure are you okay, are you still angry with me, but that feel I have from you is, you did not want to talk to me. I’m sorry for causing you irritation. I’m sorry for being so annoying. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a trouble. I’m sorry for doing what I've done, and now want to do something about it, become a place where sense it was you did not want to talk anymore. I cannot blame you, I cannot blame anyone, all I can blame is myself. Even the heart is breaking, even it is cracking to pieces, feeling that you did not want to talk to me, holly not even replying me anything, everything come to me, I only can do is let it break, and just cry by myself. I’m sorry, not you break me down, I'm the one that broke myself.. I’m wondering, what kind of friend am I.. 4 hours, not a single word I could type it out for my report. What did I done? I done nothing for my project report. What can I do? Text my lecturer and tell him I will submit a little later despite knowing it will affects my GPA. I loss my grandma, a friend not replying me, a friend don’t seem like wanna talk. For quite awhile already that my grandfather is in coma, my mum just everyday attitude me, my grandma just everyday command me to do things despite my busyness, I felt I'm a robot, learning to deal but to press it in. I remembered there is a night, I could not take it, I take my bicycle key and I change my clothes and cycled out to a park, sit down there I started crying. Who can I looked for? I know I can look for you, but that is middle of night 1am, which idiot will call someone at that point of time? That day, I just looked at the sky, talking to my great-grandparents and my uncle. I cried like there is no tomorrow, I cried like a kid. Got one day before service, my mum argued me with so badly as well, that is mother’s day weekend, I cried throughout the entire service.  Probably.. in this season of my life, I cannot be a friend anyone of you want me to be like in the past, because I continue give, I'm draining myself more and more. I’m not a robot, I've my own emotions and feelings, I will feel hurt and pain as well, why people just like to treat me as a robot? I guess, my heart is just breaking and all of these comes out bah. I’m sorry for not being a good friend, not being a good daughter and grand-daughter to everyone bah, but this season I need is understanding and not treat me as a robot, scold and command me to do things. I’m tired as well, I need my rest as well. Stop imparting that thoughts of my dad don’t care about me, don’t love me all these thoughts into my mind anymore, can! One day, not you gone crazy first, but you will drive me crazy in mind. I want my peaceful life back, can you stop doing this to me? I don’t want to care what’s between you and dad, I just want to go my own life, do what I want. You always do all these to me, tell me don’t share, don’t share.. I'm not like you can tank and tank, I will break down want. It’s my life, can just let me do what I want? I share my problem, not yours. Stop telling me to hide all my thoughts and emotions to myself, don’t train me to be like this, because I'm already in that thoughts of depression, and you are already driving me crazy as well. Is this what a mum should do? For my buddy, I'm sorry if I cause you did not want to talk to me, or did not want to reply me. I really no idea why I have such feels that you guys don’t want to talk to me, but I will learn to take a step back as well. I’m sorry that my family have drives me crazy already. I want to get my mind back on track, but each day all these happens, my mind is already crazy. I’m sorry for not earlier come to you, buddy. But, whatever things I did, I need to bear the consequences.. it’s hurting and pain, I felt that you did not want to talk to me, but I guess if I step back helps you, I will do so. I’m deeply sorry, buddy.  For my friend, I guess I have no words for you because you always don’t want to reply me. Towards you, I'm seasoned. I guess this is one good thing about you not being my buddy, because I will always get hurt by you, not break the wall that I build, but the hurt you always giving to me.. never mind, I accept it because this is what I have to do to accomplish my mission from God. You can ignore all you want bah, that is just you being you. Sighh.. Life Story World – XH Ng Time Check: 23 July 2019/137pm

[buck-askbox]

Gray hair + Red eyes + Dark skin + Quad horns 👌👌👌👌 Leila is amazing, gurl. Also, sorry to hear about the keys. I know what it feels like to live in a place where you think someone would actually pick them up and use them for sinister shit. As for the keychain, your memories are what matter. The object was just a way for you to access those memories, but they're still there. You haven't lost them. :^(

Leila is amazing I love her so much. She is a sweetie into gentle femdom and leather. So sweet and gentle but can be tough at times. Her favorite food are chocolates and her favorite drink is Rose champagne. I wanna draw her so much more already! Andbyeah truly it gives u a shitty feeling to lose those memory linked things. But yeah my mom and her boyfriend were telling me too that what matters are the memories and life lessons he left us. We also have everal more keychains cause he loved keychains but sill.Aaaaaa. Sighh thank u so much friend. I guess i will draw more succubi and demons to soothe my distress. ♡

[fairygal11]

Message to Dickweeds Rioting and the World

Can we just have ONE DAY or a WHOLE WEEK without seeing post after post about those stupid protests and riots!? I mean-and pardon my french for saying this and I apologize in advance to everyone reading this-BUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE!?

Destroying businesses, dishonoring and destroying historical landmarks/sites, rioting and setting stuff on fire, looting stores-HELL! SOMEBODY LOOTED FROM A GAMESTOP AND ALSO LOOTED FROM A DAMN CHEESECAKE FACTORY! THe guy came out with a WHOLE CHEESECAKE IN BOTH HANDS I saw on a picture! A WHOLE CHEESECAKE PEOPLE!

Ya know there are good kinds of protests and BAD KINDS-Good ones are peaceful, quiet and silent protests that are safe, secure and NOBODY IS acting like jackasses! NOW THE BAD KIND WHICH were seeing this weekend-its just sickening-just sooo damn sickening!

Is this any way to honor a fallen human being? BY ACTING LIke Neanderthals!? Like acting live savages and feral humans getting into fights, climbing onto cars and buses and swinging your weapons in the air like you just don't care!? Uh uh! THAT IS NO WAY TO HONOR A MAN! That is no way to honor any human being!?

You think the guy's family and friends find your riots and violent protests "honorable" or a way to show "respect"-NO! YOUR JUST MAKING THEM EMBARASSED AND ASHAMED! YOUR MAKING THEM CRY IN DISAPPOINTMENT! YOUR making their hearts break! This is no way to honor somebody by going into "FERAL MODE" and destroying property! DESTROYING POLICE STATIONS or any place!

I mean what is wrong with you all?! And oh-before you say anything-what'cha gonna do!? TROLL ME!? BASH ME!? CYBER BULLY ME! I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT YOU THINK! I AM SAYING WHAT I WANT TO SAY! IT IS MY FREEDOM! FREEDOM OF SPEECH THE FIRST AMENDMENT! AND I am just trying to knock some sense into your dull, little skulls of what your actions are doing! Actions have consequences!

And think about your families and friends-you think their proud of you for going out and protesting like that, acting all dumbassery and destroying shit?! NO! THEIR DISAPPOINTED AND ASHAMED is what they are feeling right now! HELL-AMERICA IS DISAPPOINTED AND ASHAMED! THE AMERICA THAT STILL HAVE common sense and "upright citizens" and civilized folk who see all of this chaos as just sickening and wrong.

Not only that-but your all setting a BAD EXAMPLE FOR KIDS AND TEENAGERS?! YOU WANT THEM TO THINK ITS "COOL" AND "ALRIGHT" TO BURN STUFF, TO DESTROY PROPERTY, TO TAKE A FIGHT WITH THE POLICE!? HELL NO! YOUR ALL BEING BAD ROLE MODELS TO THE NEXT GENERATION YOU DICKWEEDS!

And is Trump or anyone doing ANYTHING TO STOP THIS? TO TELL THE PEOOPLE THIS IS WRONG? NO! HE CARES NOT FOR US! HE CARES NOT FOR THIS COUNTRY! HE CARES ABOUT HIMSELF! HE CARES ABOUT HIS DAMN GOLF! HE CARES ABOUT HIS ratings and he thinks america is a business?! DAMN NO! AMERICA ISN'T A BUSINESS OR ANYTHING! IT IS A COUNTRY! IT IS OUR HOME! It is the land our founding fathers worked and fought so hard to protect from the British-if they didn't have the American Revolution-we'd be in a British America like in Futurama!

Trump and his Court of the Corrupted have turned the United States into the Divided States of America and I for one am SICK OF HOW THIS HAS BEEN GOING! There are people struggling to survive and live! There are those fighting for their lives against the virus! There are those struggling to keep the country together as their on the front lines to shelve items in the grocery stores, curbside pickup at restaurants and local libraries and families doing their best to help their children and find a way to keep occupied and working during the crisis.

There are MILLIONS suffering right now and these riots are just gonna skyrocket the virus in each state that is rioting! There are people who don't follow the rules or show consideration of the rules-Whatever happened to the America I knew January and February before all this happened? What happened to everyone living their lives normally, working at their jobs, going to the library to check out books, go shopping of all kinds to get what they need or get a new set of clothes, going to a hair cut salon for a new do. What happened to everyone having fun at conventions, social events, bars, movies-anywhere? What happened to the people with birthdays who looked forward to having fun with their friends and make memories. What happened to the students who would go to school each day and bond with their pals and complain about how much homework the teacher gave?

What happened to my life? Going about my usual routine, get ready for work be it in the afternoon or a Saturday Morning waking up early, prepping and having breakfast before heading out? What happened to seeing my coworkers and wishing them a Hello or good night? What happened to shelving lots of books and checking in tons of books along with a busy Sunday getting a hundred or less holds! What happened to picking up the newest holds from the library or others? Sighh~I miss that and there isn't a day that goes by that I think about my life and how I stuck to a routine while on my days off I spiced things up or planned something nice like bike ride to some of my favorite places or seeing a movie. The last movie I saw was My Hero Academia Heroes Rising back at the end of february in the afternoon because it was busy in the evening. The last event i ever went to was Anime Milwaukee-BEST WEEKEND ever because it was tons of fun and I still got pictures to upload along with video footage.   :)

Right now, I don't know how long it'll be until I see my library again, when I'll see my coworkers again, when I'll be able to get holds, shelf, and check in items. I don't know when it'll be safe to get a hair cut without finding out the salonist has COVID19 (I am waiting til the end of June because it might be coast clear for hair salons by then maybe). When will I ever see a movie in theaters and dealing with the changes their doing with contact-less interaction for tickets and food. When will I ever step inside a book store like half price or the mall to check out my favorite stores and arcade? When will things ever get back to the normal I once knew even if it'll be different.

As someone with Mild Autism (Aspergers), it can take awhile to get used to changes or to memorize things until you know exactly what you have to do and I always write stuff down to keep track and look back on especially where I left off in a book. I know there is gonna be much to adjust to when I get back to work and to a semi-normal life once this virus tries to die down.

I know everyone of us is going to have a tough time adjusting to these changes in our lives, trying to find a way to steer clear path on how to guide through the bumps and obstacles that lay before us. I know right now there is a lot of confusion, uncertainty, chaos, and worry-but we shouldn't lose hope. We should not give up-not on ourselves or our country. America is our home, its where we grew up, its where we came to start anew, its where we started from the ground up, its where we found ourselves, its where we found true love, its where we made a family, its where memories begin and dreams take flight.

The United in America stands for being united, strong, together as one...yet these days it seems Divided, loner, solo, out for yourselves. We need to restore the United in America. We need to take back our home from the corruption that resides in the White House. We need to take back what is ours. We need to make sure that Trump is out of that office be it November or Sooner. It doesn't matter who we are, where we came from, what we look like-WE ALL HAVE SOULS, we all have hearts, we all bleed the same red blood, we all have dreams, we all have doubts, we all have loved ones and families, we all have role models, but most of all deep down.....we all have hope.

Each bit of hope is a little ember that warms your heart, that keeps you fueled to keep going....but combine those embers together into a metaphoric mighty inferno flame-Hope's light will pierce through the darkness of Despair that we find ourselves in. Never let your Ember of Hope burn out, never let despair engulf you.