#sigh drawing is just coping at this point

[splankie]

i miss these guys already

[moonstruckme]

pls hear me out 🙏🙏 vampire!james is recently turned and doesn’t feed cause he’s such a sweetheart he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

reader notices how weak he is and finds out he hasn’t been feeding and basically offers herself to him and it’s just really comforting and cute

Babe I hear you !!! I hear you soooooo clear (the voices omg, I was so excited to write this). Thank you for requesting!

cw: blood mention

vampire!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.7k words

James never had a problem with eating animals before he became a vampire. You pointed this out to him, once, but he only said it’s different. You suppose it is. The chicken nuggets he used to devour came to him cooked, fried, and with sauces, utterly unrecognizable from what they’d once been. There’s no separating the live-ness from what James has to eat now. 

You spy on him over the top of your book. He’s sitting on the other end of the loveseat with your feet in his lap, massaging your arches through your thick socks while he watches a football match on the telly. His dusky skin had paled after he was turned a few weeks back, but he looks even paler than that now. If he were still human you’d think he was anemic. It’s four in the afternoon, and your ball-of-energy boyfriend looks as tired as if he’s ready for bed. 

“Jamie,” you say, and he squeezes your heel to indicate he’s listening, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can, lovely, yeah.” 

“Have you been feeding?” 

James stiffens at the term. “Mm, why do you ask?” 

It’s as close as he thinks he can get to a non-answer, and it’s an answer for you anyways. James can never stand to lie to you. It’s terribly endearing. 

You turn your foot to poke his abdomen. “I can hear your stomach growling.” 

His lips curve. He glances at you. “I’m not sure that’s how it works.” 

“Really? How does it work?” 

“I don’t actually have a clue.” James smiles, which was your aim. He’s been far too downcast for your liking, his new condition entirely to blame. 

“Well, you’re looking pale.” 

“I’ve been pale.” 

“Paler than pale.” You set your book on the side table, moving closer to him. You sit with your feet folded under you. “Also, you haven’t been going out to feed like you used to.” 

James finally looks a bit sheepish. You smile and cup his face in your hand. Though he knows you know, James has still been a tad secretive about the vampire business around you. He sneaks out after he thinks you’re asleep. You’ll hear the front door open and shut when he leaves and then again when he comes back, the kitchen tap running as he cleans himself up. You wish he’d just use the shower. You don’t mind him walking through your bedroom with blood and dirt on him if it means he gets to feel clean when he slips back into bed with you. 

You rub your thumb over his cheek. “What’s keeping you?” 

He sighs. His face weighs a bit heavier in your palm. You think this must be progress, and you repeat your ministrations to his cheek to encourage it. 

“Everything’s hibernating,” says James, a quiet shame underlying his tone. “The…things I used to feed from are gone, and I’m not left with a lot of choices.” 

You hum. “Well, you’ve gotta eat, Jamie.” 

He hesitates, and you give him your sternest look. 

“You do. What about the deer?” 

“They’re harder to catch. And…I…I just feel bad, you know?”

You nod. Take his hand and press a kiss to his palm. Your poor sweetheart. You know James hasn’t killed anything he’s fed from, but even scaring them and potentially hurting them for the time it takes him to feed rattles him terribly. He’s too good, good and kind down to his core, but you know he’s going to have to find some way to cope other than starving himself. 

“What about people?” 

James’ eyes round behind his glasses. “Wha—no, I—”

“I wouldn’t mind you using me.” 

He seems to falter for a moment. His thick brows draw together in stages, from disbelief to confusion and back again. “Angel,” he says, “I couldn’t do that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because, it’s—it would be—” 

“Or maybe we could try someone else. Someone bad, like a corrupt politician or one of those people who siphons money away from charities.” 

“No.” 

“Then we’re back to me.” You smile at him, one part teasing and two parts genuine. “James, I want to. I don’t like seeing you like this, and I really don’t think I’d mind it.” 

James looks like he’s still having trouble processing. “You don’t think you’d mind?” 

“I don’t,” you repeat patiently. “I’m sort of curious, actually. It could be fun.” 

He looks, to your surprise, like he might actually be considering it. He’s gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know if it’d be fun, angel.” 

“That’s okay,” you promise him. “I want to do it for you. You’re hungry, yeah?” You try to make your voice serene and persuasive, your hand coasting up and down his arm. “Let me help.” 

James looks you in your eyes. You hold his gaze. After a while, the fight seems to go out of him. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says. 

“Oh, baby.” You kiss him on his cheek, your heart bulging. “You won’t. It’ll be fine. How do you want me? Hair up?” 

He shakes his head. “It’s good the way it is. I think, um, it might be easier if you were in my lap.” 

“Okay.” You grin, lifting your thigh over his so you’re straddling him. His hands settle on your hips. “Are you romancing me? Is this part of it?” 

James lifts the corners of his mouth, but you can see the trepidation lingering beneath his smile. You do your best to soothe it away with your hands on his shoulders. 

“I want to be gentle with you,” he says.

“I bet you say that to all your victims.” 

“Sweetheart…”

“Sorry, sorry.” You’re nervous. You kiss his nose in apology. 

“If I hurt you—if you don’t like it for any reason, I want you to squeeze my shoulder. Okay?” 

“Okay.” You nod, trying to look certain. “Does it usually hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” James admits. “With animals, they don’t usually…move much after I’ve bitten them. I’m not sure if it stuns them or what.” 

“I’ll report back,” you say seriously. You glance down at the couch cushions. “Will it be messy? Should we go to the bathroom or something?” 

“No, I’m—I’ve gotten better at it. We should be fine here.” 

You smile at him, your pride genuine. “Sounds good.” 

James is starting to look worried again, so you kiss him. On the lips, as sweet as you can muster, and imagine all your love pouring through it. Then, you pull your hair to one side and bear your neck. 

His pupils splay out.

“Remember to squeeze my shoulder.” He sounds hoarse. One of his hands slips up your back to steady you beneath your shoulder blades. 

“I will,” you vow. 

James looks dazed, almost reverent. He wets his lips, and when he opens his mouth you see his tongue skim over pointed teeth. Some prey animal’s instinct sends a shiver of fear through you. Your blood hums with anticipation. But just before James’ teeth skim your neck, he pauses. 

“Jamie.” It’s soft, a murmur, a plea. “It’s okay. Do whatever you want with me.” 

He makes a quiet sound, like a sigh or a whine, and closes the gap. 

At first, it’s only like he’s kissing you. He’s exceedingly sweet about it, lips opening warmly over your skin, his tongue pressing over your artery as though testing the waters. He splays his palm wide over your back in silent warning before his teeth sink into you. 

There’s a sting, but you were ready for it. You keep yourself from wincing, from doing anything that would make James move away, and after a second the pain dulls. Everything does, except for the extraordinary feel of James’ mouth on you. 

“Oh.” Your mouth opens of its own accord, head lolling further to the side to give him better access. You want more, more of this, more of him. Your brain fuzzes and your heart pounds, every nerve in your body narrowing its focus to where James is sucking at your neck, lapping you up. 

You wind your arms around his neck, wanting to be closer to him, and his palm coasts up your back comfortingly. You feel molten, spectacularly, transcendently languid, like you could press your fingertips to his shoulders and they’d melt right in. You don’t, not wanting him to misinterpret it as your signal and stop, but after a while James’ arms are the only thing keeping you from tipping sideways onto the couch, and he stops anyway. 

He finishes with a few chaste kisses, and you think giddily that you weren’t too far off about the romancing. 

“Y’okay, lovie?” he mumbles into your skin. 

You hum in reply. 

James presses one more sweet kiss to your neck, almost a thank-you. He seals the wound with his tongue. A giggle bubbles out of you, one shoulder coming up to ward him off. 

“Sorry,” you say to James’ surprised look. Your head is starting to clear. “That part tickled.” 

His grin splits his face, one part tentative and two parts relieved. “Yeah? Are you really okay?” 

“Super okay,” you promise him. You can’t help grinning. “You were right, it didn’t hurt. That was nice.”

James’ expression eases, some mix of relief and interest in his gaze. “Was it actually?” 

“Mhm. I would be your blood donor any time, really.” 

James scoffs, but he’s clearly elated. He strokes from your hip to your ribs with a big hand, trailing tender kisses up to your cheek. You’re thrilled to see how much more energy he already has. 

“I don’t know about that,” he says in between kisses. “I’d still rather not make you my victim if I can help it.” 

“I didn’t feel like a victim, if that helps.” Your words go mushy as he reaches your lips, but you keep talking, wanting to make your point. “I just mean, I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Maybe when you’re lacking in other options.” 

“Mm, maybe. What was it like?” 

“Like a really good kiss.” 

James backs up from you to give you a dubious look. “Better than the ones I give you normally?” 

You grin. “Maybe a little.” 

His eyebrows shoot up and his mouth drops open, curving on one side. “Oh, yeah? Bold claims.” 

“I don’t know if you can compete with whatever vampire magic that was, Jamie.”

“My kisses are very magical. It seems like I may have to remind you how good they really are, though.” 

You shrug coyly. “If you think you can top that, you’re welcome to try. I mean, you’re really only competing with your—”

James is on you before you can finish.

[squinch-depraved]

more slimecicle for you little freaks he's so fun to write

"i swear you won't even know i'm there," charlie pleaded with you from the bed. he watched as you sat at your desk, working on a project you needed to finish before the night was over.

"between my thighs? yeah, charlie, i'm sure," you said with a roll of your eyes.

"please," he asked again. his voice was dripping with desperation, making it hard to say no.

but you were strong, determined to finish your tasks on time. "baby, you know i love when you get like this, and ordinarily i'd let you, but i need to stay focused," you replied sweetly. you heard him get off the bed and listened as his footsteps led him to kneel down next to you in your chair.

he looked up at you with wide, lustful eyes and took your hand gently. "please," he begged. he looked pathetic. the fact that it was you he was craving, you he wanted to taste so bad? it overrode any shred of reason and made your brain short circuit.

"charlie, baby," you sighed, taking back your hand and using it to cup his face. "can you give me, like, twenty minutes? to be productive? and then you can sit under my desk while i wrap it up, how does that sound?"

his face lit up as he nodded fervently, his eagerness to please you apparently more consuming than his desire to devour you. you patted his head, smiling softly at him before turning back to work on your task. "gonna set a timer?" he asked quietly after a moment.

you huffed, feigning annoyance, and pulled out your phone, setting and showing him a timer. he nodded again and adjusted himself, shifting on his legs as he waited patiently for the time to run out.

five minutes in, he was fiddling with a hair tie you lent him months ago. he wore it every day, it reminded him of you and how infatuating you were. it had become such a staple in his everyday wardrobe that he felt naked whenever he was without it. you glanced at him, noticing how he wrapped the elastic around his fingers again and again until unraveling it and repeating the process. you guessed it was helping him cope with not being located between your soft thighs.

halfway through, you softly let him know how much longer he had to go. he hummed quietly in response, moving to sit in a different position. he tried not to draw attention to himself as he squeezed his thighs together, embarrassingly desperate for your touch, but you noticed out of the corner of your eye and smiled. he was already making it hard to concentrate on this, and he wasn't even doing anything.

fifteen minutes down, he was leaning against your desk, head tilted back ever so slightly. you tried so hard not to stare at the tent between his legs; you only had five minutes left to get as much done as possible. he was surely daydreaming about you at this point, whimpers leaving his mouth whenever his groin twitched. he always looked downright pitiful when he got like this, and you adored how bad he wanted you. nothing ever made you feel as desired as charlie did.

when the timer went off, you still had a sizeable chunk of work that needed to get done. but, you had made a promise, and he jumped up at the alarm. pawing at the chair you were in, he mumbled, "please, please," until you sighed and gave in, scooting back to let him crawl under the desk. he shuffled in excitedly, not even grunting in pain when he hit his head on the underside.

you gasped softly as he pulled your bottoms off, leaving you bare for all of two seconds before he planted a sloppy, open mouthed kiss to your core. he spread your thighs open a bit more and shoved his face in, burying his tongue deep in you while his nose brushed up against your clit repeatedly.

you closed your eyes and let the noises spill from your lips, forgetting momentarily about the work that needed to be done. he just kept going, licking and sucking, and after a while of constant stimulation, you wondered if he was even breathing. a bit later, you remembered you weren't done, and you tried to get back to doing work, but the never-ending barrage of kisses to your dripping cunt made that impossible.

"god, fuck, charlie, this is why i said no," you grumbled. "need to finish this shit so bad and i just can't with you doing this."

he made a noise into your pussy, sending vibrations rippling through your body. your hips stuttered forward, thighs closing against his face and trapping him there. he moaned again, apparently enjoying the suffocation, and wrapped his arms around your legs, pushing them closer against him.

you were loud at this point, work long forgotten as you squeezed your legs against his head, cooing out praises. "ohhh, good boy, charlie," you sang. "fuck, you make me feel so fuckin' good. what a good boy f'me." he somehow became more ravenous and pushed you closer towards the edge, moaning and whimpering into your heat as he worked tirelessly to make you cum. it was all for you, always, every time. he loved making you feel good, he felt sometimes it was the very reason he existed.

when you came, you tangled your hands in his hair, pulling tightly and bringing him impossibly closer. he relished in your screams, savoring the "good boy!" you let out one last time before releasing all over his face. he kept going for a bit, testing you, seeing how much overstimulation you could take, before finally pulling away when you told him to.

you scooted back to let him out from under the desk, but he didn't emerge until a few minutes later, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. when he finally stood up, a dark stain stood out on his clothed crotch, evidence that he had enjoyed this just as much as you. you teased him for it, offering to help, but he just shook his head.

"all i needed was to taste you," he panted before leaning down to kiss you. the taste of yourself on his lips was intoxicating, and you hopped up to start a shower for the both of you so you could have a cozy night in bed, the work you so desperately needed to finish sitting abandoned still on the monitor.

[tommyshelbysgoodgirl]

[Anonymous asked: a fluff ,gentle smut of tommy knocking at your door in the middle of the night hurt and upset,you let him come in and..feel better. ]

Make me forget about the pain❤️‍🩹

Warning: soft smut, sad Tommy, fluff, 18+, mention of death

Thomas Shelby sat in his study listening to the ticking of the clock, the noise irritated him. The gangster sighed heavily as he poured himself another drink and gazed sadly at the photo of his late wife; Grace on his desk. Tommy had lost his wife almost six months ago after she was shot, when Grace died so did Tommy. He stayed awake every night for weeks blaming himself for her tragedy. He got in the habit of taking opium and drinking more, about two months later after her death Tommy had started to seek out different whores and use sex as a coping strategy.

That’s when he met her; a sweet girl working on the street, her name was Y/N. She wasn’t like all the other prostitutes he would see, most of the girls were confident and eager. Not her though, at first, she was quite shy and nervous but as Tommy and her met up more often she got more comfortable with him.

Then Tommy was struggling when he realized how comfortable and relaxed the girl made him feel when they were together, usually Tommy would take his whores fast and rough, but with Y/N he took his time, because she made him comfortable, she helped him truly forget about his grief. When he would fuck her slowly, shoving his cock deep into her cunt she would hold him tightly and make him feel cared for, just for a moment. She would give him kisses and nuzzle him when Tommy seemed upset or stressed.

So, Tommy eventually asked her to come stay with him for a while. She was surprised at first; “You want me to come live with you, Thomas?” She asked quietly while sitting in his office. “Yes dear, just for a little bit, you’ll stay here in Arrow house and be there for all of my needs when I need you, love. You’ll have your own bed, food and a luxurious place to stay, but you’ll need to be ready when I need your help to relieve some stress, understand sweetheart?” She nodded slowly and smiled softly, “yes sir, thank you.” He smiled and walked over to caress her cheek, “darling I would never usually do this for the other girls I’ve been seeing…but with you..” He sighed softly, “You make me feel a bit more comfortable and relaxed, and that’s very rare for a cold bastard like me.” He leaned down and kissed her deeply and groaned softly.

So, about a week later Y/N was all moved in (not that she had many belongings; clothes, shoes, books and some family photos.) Tommy had the maids make up her room and he was relieved that she liked it.

Tommy gave her a few days to get comfortable in the house, then one night he finally asked her to come into his study and she gave him a blowjob quickly. Thomas would enter her room late at night and she would let him take her eagerly. Some nights he’d be quick about it, especially if he needed to get work finished up but sometimes if he was numb to a point he couldn’t think straight he would take his time while letting his guard down even for a little bit, because he didn’t want to go back into his study and be left alone with his cruel thoughts, he would draw out his orgasm as long as he could to not make that moment end.

But no matter how many times Tommy would sleep with her, there was always those times when Tommy was alone in his study as he tried to get paperwork done, but he just couldn’t. His mind kept replaying that cruel event, it was his fault after all that his beloved Grace was gone now.

Now he sat in his study, drinking glass after glass of whiskey. When he finally got up out of his chair, he stumbled as he walked out of the study and down the dark hallway. His mind was so foggy, he clenched his fists tightly and gritted his teeth as he heard that unsettling heavy breathing from the ghost of Grace that had been haunting his mind for weeks now. That damn breathing had him going insane.

When Tommy reached the bedroom door and knocked gently, It opened and his eyes traveled up and down at the nightgown Y/N was wearing. When she opened the door, rubbing her eyes tiredly, she looked up at Thomas and frowned with concern. Tommy looked so drained and tired, “are you okay, Tommy?” She asked, he just looked at her sadly and cleared his throat. “I just..uh.. I just really need you right now love… I’m not having a good night.”

Y/N hesitated and slowly reached out to grab his shaking hand, as Tommy entered the room he sat down and lit a cigarette to calm himself down. Y/N sat close beside him and stroked his thigh gently, “what’s wrong..?” She asked softly, Tommy sighed deeply as he took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled the smoke. “I was just..having bad memories about my past and need a moment to forget about it all, you think you can help me with that darling?” She nodded slowly, “yes..yes of course Tommy I’ll help you.”

She stood up and slowly stripped off her nightgown and undergarments, but Tommy kept his emotionless gaze to his feet. Y/N felt so bad, he looked so depressed and vulnerable. She slowly approached him and reached down to cup his face and she raised his head to look up at her. “Oh Tommy.. I’m sorry you’re in such pain..” he sighed heavily as he put his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray, he rubbed his face in exhaustion. “I just miss her so fucking much, love.”

He took a shaky breath, Y/N figured he was talking about his late wife, he had mentioned her here and there before. But Y/N didn’t know how badly it was affecting him, slowly she placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down to her bed. Thomas looked up at her with curiosity, gently, she unbuckled his trousers and pulled his semi hard cock out. “I’ll make you feel better, it’s okay Tommy.” She was surprised to feel his legs shaking, Tommy groaned softly as she slowly started to stroke him. “Fuck..please..” he laid his head back and closed his eyes tightly when she got on top of him and aligned his hard cock with her wet core.

Tommy drew in a sharp breath as Y/N slowly sank her warm heat down on him, his hips were struggling to not thrust up into her. She placed her hands on his chest as she moved her wet pussy up and down his cock, he groaned loudly as she fucked him slowly. When Tommy went to go place his hands on her hips and guide her, she lightly smacked his hands away. Tommy furrowed his eyebrows as she bounced up and down faster, she shook her head slowly. “No Tommy..” she was breathing deeply, “you came to me and wanted my help to make you feel better so just relax and let me take care of you, okay love?” Tommy felt a wave of emotions wash over him as he threw his head back and moaned softly.

He whimpered softly as his hips thrust up causing Y/N to moan loudly. She looked down at him and frowned his eyes looked so sad and desperate, she leaned down and kissed him gently. “Shh it’s okay Tommy, just let go,” her heart sank as the tough gangster began to let out a choked out sob. Y/N cradled his face as she slowed down her movements, her wet hole moving smoothly up and down. She moaned softly when Tommy’s cock throbbed inside of her.

She continued to kiss and caress Thomas while he let out his emotions and enjoyed the sweet pleasure that he was feeling. He sobbed softly then threw his head back and groaned as her pussy clenched around him. Y/N sped up her movements, the room filling with their moans and slapping wetness of Y/N’s pussy taking him. Tommy was breathing heavily, his face was streaked with tears and he was shaking as his thighs tensed up. He quickly reached up and grabbed Y/N’s bouncing breasts when she moaned and whined he fluttered his eyes closed. Suddenly as she took him faster he grunted and groaned, his thighs tensed up, “come on Tommy let it out!” Y/N moaned, He closed his eyes tightly when her pussy tightened and his cock twitched and spurted out ropes of his hot cum inside of her. She whimpered as her orgasm washed over her, Tommy’s hips thrusted up into her as he fucked his cum into her. His whole body was shaking and he rolled his eyes back as they both finally caught their breath.

After, Y/N laid down still naked and Tommy laid on top of her. She smiled softly as he rested his head on her breast and closed his eyes still breathing deeply. “Tommy, are you feeling better?” Thomas tightened his arms around her and let out a shaky breath, “yes dear.. I know it won’t last long but for now.. I just need you to hold me.”

She slowly wrapped her arms around him and cradled his head against her chest, “thank you for this.” He nuzzled his face deeper against her warm breasts. As Y/N held him and stroked his dark hair he finally sighed as he fell asleep in her embrace.

(Hope you enjoyed if you have any more requests please ask me!🎀)

[dyk3tastic]

can’t have both

victoria neuman (the boys) x reader

genre: angst, tension

summary: set during 4x07 of the boys. you, a member of the boys, run into victoria at tek-nights whilst looking for hughie. danger leads to a brief moment of vulnerability between you two.

warnings: blood, violence, canon-typical threats of violence, language, non-con touching

a/n: my first post on my new blog :p. been obsessed with her and needed somewhere to dump this sexy headpopper brainrot. lmk if you’d like me to write more of her or any other hot ‘evil’ women (shes not evil, just misunderstood (ignore all the homocide)). haven’t posted ff in years lol im being sucked back in. written off an edible at 4am excuse any spag errors. (heya, this is shy from the future, you can now read part 2 & part 3 of this if u fancy :p )

she has you pinned, strong lithe fingers wrapped around your neck, squeezing. the other gripping firm across your jaw, sure to leave a bruise, keeping you quiet. you think all this is unnecessary, you don’t have a death wish; screaming, drawing any attention to yourself, in a house full of supes and nazis wasn’t exactly high on your wishlist. you glared up at her deep brown eyes, they were as collected as she always so desperately tried to appear, the only hint of panic setting along her tight jaw. looming over you in her heels you loved so much, you’re eyes see her mouth moving but no words register. you wonder how she can even cope at things like this, how she can stomach this disgusting parade of privilege and abuse. the victoria you knew would fucking hate this, but you didn’t know her, not really.

its only her tightening grip on your jaw, making your teeth scrape against each other, pain shooting through your skull that brings you back.

“you’re a fucking idiot” she gritted through a clenched jaw. she took a deep, shaky breath. if you didn’t know better you’d think she was nervous. “pull any of your usual shit on me right now and i swear to god i will paint that pretty face of yours across the room”. her voice was barely above a whisper, inches away from your face her warm breath prickled against your skin, stray strands of her soft dark hair brushing against your cheek. you don’t think you’ve been this close to her since you found out, your heart pounded in your chest, body thrumming with nerves and tension. she released her hand from over your mouth, “what are you doing here?” she spat out, with that familiar patronising yet pitiful victoria stare that tells you you’ve once again made a bad decision, the wrong decision. you gasp for breath, she loosens her grip on your neck, but still keeps her fingers settled over your pulse point, a reminder of who’s in charge.

you try to keep your voice even as you rasp out a “hughie”, throat still throbbing from her grip. “your pal tek-night has got him locked up here somewhere”. continuing to cough out you snarl “you remember hughie right? your friend who you lied to and manipulated for years?”. hot piercing anger was rising through your body whilst something deep sunk in your stomach, settling in a twisted concoction of desire and disgust, a needy pit of betrayal. overwhelmed and once again underprepared, you fingers inch towards the syringe in your back pocket. before you can even swing for her neck your arm is pinned, blood running from both your nostrils, dripping over your lips, down your chin and neck, her grip around your neck tight.

“what did i fucking say?” she sighed, disappointed.

“i thought we were-“ your voice fails you, your anger clouding any chance of vulnerability, of reconciliation.

“i wanted to tell you” a beat of silence. “i did. and hughie. i wanted to tell you both.” she lets out a sad, tired half-laugh, grip not faltering from your neck. “i wanted to trust you but i didn’t want to lose you.” she swallows. “and i didn’t think i could have both, i’ve never been able to have both”. the slip in her mask of cool confidence, the crack of vulnerability, makes you feel slightly sick as you are unable to squash the warmth of empathy in your chest. you flinch at the melancholy that swims below her beautiful features, that deep sadness painting her eyes that made her so fucking irresistible. you felt sick again.

“just get it over with vic.” you choked out, mouth filling with blood. she frowned in response, taking a moment as she felt your heart beat, blood pumping fast and heavy through your body, she could tell you were scared. feeling the heat from your skin, she knew her closeness was having an effect on you, she let a smirk tug at the corners of her full lips.

“i’m not going to fucking kill you.” she dryly chuckled. letting go of her grip on your neck and wrist, she swiped the pad of her thumb over your lips, dragging down across your chin. as she stepped back from you your traitor body instantly missed her presence looming over you. you were free to make a run for it, yet there you remained, paralysed before her knowing stare. she raised her thumb to her mouth, licking off your blood in what can only be described as a terrifyingly erotic gesture that was perfectly victoria. both a display of power and some twisted form of tenderness. your breath hitched as you broke eye contact, not daring to say a word for fear of what might come out. she smiled again, this time without that signature smugness, but with a softer expression that she reserved, rarely, for very few, desperately sincere. before you could even allow your seriously lagging brain to formulate a response victoria was striding out of the room without looking back, leaving your blood to dry across your face.

[27spoons]

Wintering | Yellowjackets

summary: Late S2, you decide that the team could use some Christmas spirit. So, you do what you can to bring them some.

pairing: just general platonic yj/reader

warnings: n/a

wc: 1560

ao3

Snow falls delicately around the cabin as the fire crackles before you. Van adds another log as she takes a seat beside you, the orange glow flickering across her face.

"We'll need more wood soon." As the flames consume the log, she asks, "Didn't you draw the card?"

"Yeah," You nod, taking a quick glance outside. "Guess I just hoped it would stop snowing before I went out." The snow isn't falling harshly, just large snowflakes slowly descending to the ground. "Looks like I might have been hoping for too much." You sigh as you look back to the fire.

"Yeah, well, everyone has to play their roles." Van remarks flatly, "Everyone draws cards for chores. Yours just happens to be gathering wood today. Don't see Nat and Travis complaining about hunts."

You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it." You push yourself to a standing position, "I'll go get started before it gets dark out." In response, Van makes some sarcastic half-comment, but you choose to ignore it.

Tensions have been high since Javi. Everyone copes differently, you suppose. And she does have a point. You guys do need firewood, and everyone does have a role to play.

You throw on another hoodie, and if you had known you'd end up stuck out in the middle of fucking nowhere, Canada, you would have packed gloves. You miss having warm fingers sometimes. You miss a lot of things, actually. But warm fingers are the most significant thing you miss right now.

Grabbing the axe from the wall, you pause before you leave, overhearing a conversation between Mari and Gen. Christmas. They're talking about when Christmas could be. Has to be soon, right? Or maybe it already passed?

Now, that's an idea.

You grab the rope as well and make a mental plan. Will you chop down some trees for wood? Yes. But you're also surrounded by pine trees. There has to be one out here that would fit inside the cabin.

It's not the first tree you cut. Or the second. Or even the third. Those are for firewood. God knows if you showed up with a pine tree, talking about Christmas, with nothing to keep the fire fed, none of the girls would be all that eager.

Well, maybe Misty. But Misty is… Misty.

It's nearing sunset by the time you find the perfect tree. Well, perfect is an overstatement, considering it's bald in a few spots, and you accidentally slipped while cutting it, so now there's a giant gash in the trunk, but whatever.

A tree, anyway.

When you drag it back to the cabin, it takes a little more effort than usual. Typically, you'd debranch it before moving it, but that's hard to do when you plan on using this tree as a Christmas tree. Doesn't help that by the time you get the tree down, it's almost pitch dark out.

Damn Canadians and their winters with their lack of sunlight.

"Need a hand?" Nat leans against a post outside the cabin with her arms crossed as you approach, dragging the tree behind you with exertion. "Surprised you brought another tree back. Seemed like the ones you got were enough for now."

You shake your head as you drop the rope onto the snow out front, "Not for firewood." You stretch your back, groaning as you feel something pop into, or out of, place. "Thought we could, uh, maybe… Christmas." You gesture to the pine.

"Seriously? Christmas?" The hunter scoffs, "Yeah, nothing like thanking Santa Claus for our dead friends." She then sighs and shakes her head, "Sorry. Just… yeah. You want a hand?" She takes a step off the porch and into the snow, joining you at your side. "I can help you bring it in."

"God, please." You murmur as you unwrap the rope from the trunk, "If I try to move it again, I'll probably throw my back out or something." A tense laugh follows the statement as you rub the back of your neck. "C'mon, let's, uh…" You move to one end of the tree as Nat takes the other, and you two hoist it off the ground with simultaneous grunts.

"Is that a Christmas tree?!" Misty is the first to speak up, because of course she is, when Nat kicks the door open as you two move the tree inside.

You find yourself smiling all the same. "Yep." You and Nat move the tree to the corner of the main area, setting it down with a thud. "Dunno when Christmas actually is, but… we had a prom, had a baby shower. Why can't we… do something else, y'know? Make things slightly more tolerable for a little while." You walk over to the fire and warm your hands in front of it as the others glance over at the tree with mixed expressions. 

"This is stupid." A voice cuts through, "Hardly anything, or any reason, to get into the… "holiday spirit."" Shauna scowls as she appraises the tree.

"Could be fun." Van shrugs with a grin, "Sing Christmas carols." She laughs at that as if finding the idea itself funny.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Misty chimes in, "I could-"

"No." Mari cuts her off with a scoff, "We’d be better off listening to wolves howl."

"But it isn't the worst idea." Taissa nods, "The tree. Not the… carols." She adds for clarification, waving a hand dismissively in Misty's direction.

"We need something to distract us right now." Lottie offers quietly, "Something more than this. We could… use it as a way to honour the ones we've lost. It doesn't have to be for no reason."

"We could carve some ornaments! Or use some paper to make some paper snowflakes! Decorate the tree properly!" Misty is practically bouncing on her heels at this point. And… yeah, you saw that coming. Hardly surprising she's the most excited about the idea. "We don't need presents for it to be Christmas!" She adds, "Just each other!" 

The last statement earns a collective groan from the group and a scowl from Shauna.

"Could use some paper from my SAT book." Akaliah says as she rummages through her bag, "More useful as snowflakes than study material at this point…"

"And someone," Van shoots you a grin, "Just chopped down a few trees, so we've got the wood to make some shitty ornaments. We could do this."

"This is stupid," Shauna repeats louder this time. 

"Yeah," Nat snorts, "But… Lottie is right. We could use a distraction. What's the harm?" She shrugs and leans back against a wall. "Not like we really have much to lose by spending half a day doing… this." She gestures to the tree with one of her hands before crossing them again. 

Silence falls over the groups as everyone considers this. No one seems to have any strong complaints or actual reasons not to do it.

"Great!" Misty says finally, cutting through the silence and clapping her hands. "It's settled! We'll have Christmas in a few days!" And, since no one is arguing with her, it gets added to everyone's mental calendar.

The next few days are spent mostly the same, except for the people carving ornaments and cutting snowflakes to decorate the tree. Not everyone partakes, but those that do have a noticeable morale boost.

By the time "Christmas" comes around, the tree is looking… more like a Christmas tree and less like a regular pine tree.

"Someone call Charlie Brown and tell him we stole his tree." Van snorts as the group takes in sight of the tree.

"Hey, at least we have more than one ornament." Tai chimes in with a grin from Van's side. "And it's got…" She gestures to the tree, "Less bald spots. And it's taller."

"Gee," Van replies, "Talk about the bare minimum."

"Well, I think that it's great." Misty says with a little too much cheer in her voice, "Now all we need is hot chocolate." She practically skips over to the base of the tree and takes a seat, very obviously expecting everyone to follow suit. When no one does, she pouts.

Then, an idea comes to her mind. "Van!" Misty says, turning to face the redhead. "Would you be able to tell us a Christmas story?"

Van perks up slightly, "That I can do." She grins lazily and takes a seat on a chair, and eventually, you and the others find their seats around Van. Like kids listening to their grandpa spin a tale.

"Alright." Van grins, slapping her thighs as she glances around, "Alright. Let's set the scene. Suburbs of Chicago, right around Christmas time. We're following the McCallister family, specifically, Kevin McCallister…" 

As Van starts retelling Home Alone to the best of her abilities, the fire crackles in the background, the tree stands (mostly) proud in the corner of the cabin, and things are okay for the first time in a while. You can pretend to be teenagers listening to a Christmas tale and not worry about what tomorrow brings. That's a tomorrow you problem.

"I still think it's stupid that they forgot a whole child," Shauna grumbles at some point during the story, earning a laugh from some of the girls.

"Five kids?" Tai rolls her eyes, "I'd probably forget one, too."

a/n: i have yellowjackets brainrot and i love christmas so much its not even funny bro

i also havent written fanfics since i was 16 but yk theres always time to start again

[disneyprincemuke]

my reputation's never been worse * fem!driver

her boyfriend's not made for her anger

pairings: matt x rocky (hehe)

notes: let rocky be happy challenge (impossible) LOL

(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)

(prev)

she whines tiredly, throwing her head back. “draw of the luck.”

matt smiles slightly and drops himself into the vacant seat next to her, popping her pepsi can open. “you probably don’t wanna be sitting next to me right now.”

“what?” the girl snorts, snapping her head to him with furrowed eyebrows. “bub, why would you even say that?”

“because you’re sitting here instead of being on the track racing with everyone else, duh,” matt chuckles, offering her the soda can. he sits back in the chair and rests his arm on the back of hers. “i’d totally understand if you’re upset about being here.”

she sighs shakily, craning her neck to look at the small tv hanging in the garage. liam’s car is on the screen, just making the sinking feeling in her chest worse.

truthfully, what a shit start to the year.

the churning in her stomach makes her want to tear the walls of her garage down, but it’s simply too early to say. at least that’s what she’s been telling herself all day since sebastian had broken the news to her.

it’s just one race.

though, the devil on her shoulder is insisting that it’s not as simple as that.

she shakes her head, lips pressed into a thin line. “it was shocking,” she whispers with a firm nod. “but i’ll be back next week.” she leans against his arm, cheek resting on his shoulder and reaches over to take his hand into hers. “i’ll be okay.”

“i know you will be,” matt mutters, putting a hand on her knee. he glances at her. “but you don’t have to keep saying that to me — i’ll be here for you.”

“you’re really okay?” matt asks softly, bending to his side to try and get a look at the girl’s face.

the girl hums with a small grin, darting all over the room to shove everything into her backpack. “why do you keep asking that?”

he sighs, sinking further into his beanbag. “because you finished outside of the points today and you didn’t race last weekend. you haven’t lashed out yet, you haven’t cried… you haven’t even said anything about it yet.”

“it’s only been 2 races,” she shrugs with a small grin, standing up straight to look over at him. “bub, i’m okay.”

“i don’t wanna go there,” he frowns, “please don’t make me go there.”

she tilts her head, “what do you mean?”

“your only crash of last year, you got into a fight severe enough that it almost shattered your entire world,” matt points out softly, truly unsure if it’s even a wise decision to bring up one of her lowest points of the previous season. “you have to at least be feeling some type of way about this all.”

she sucks in a deep breath, tearing her eyes off of him. and he has a point.

right now, it seems like throwing a tantrum over mishaps from 2 races into the season just sounds like behaviour that she could easily get lost in. that’s not how she was raised, after all.

she just takes what she can get and she’ll remain grateful even though these past 2 weeks have arguably been getting harder to cope with. not starting the race felt like the end of the world a week ago — she’s just glad she got to race this weekend.

though she swore, stepping into the paddocks with her chest feeling tighter, that she wanted to cry into matt’s shirt. but when she opened the door to her room and saw him looking at her with sorry eyes and open arms, the anger and frustration seemed to be pushed away.

she shrugs again. “it’s just simply too early to tell.”

she can’t seem to say anything else that’s not an utter lie.

it’s unusual to be woken up by the heaviest sleeper he knows. matt had been woken by snuffling and he initially assumed it to be kidnapper sniffing either of them, waiting to wake them up for some snacks in the middle of the night.

until it hits him that they’re not even in her apartment in london right now — they’re in a hotel for the race weekend. his eyes fly open as he scrambles to sit up. he finds her sitting in a chair, face illuminated by her phone screen as she bites down on her nails.

“bub, what are you doing up so late?” he whispers so as not to startle the girl. “you have a race tomorrow.”

the room goes dark when she immediately shuts her phone. “nothing, i,” her voice quivers, “it’s nothing. i just woke up to use the toilet 10 minutes ago.”

he can’t help but notice the way her voice shakes. “is everything okay? what’s wrong? feeling sick?”

she sighs and shakes her head before she realises that matt can’t see her. “it’s really nothing,” she whispers, starting to climb into bed again. she sniffles and rubs her nose on the sleeve of her pyjamas. “i’m fine. let’s just go back to bed.”

matt scrambles to sit up, swiftly reaching over to turn the lamp on before he turns back to her before she can drop herself on the bed again.

“what are you doing?” he mutters, grabbing her arm and yanking her into his body. she doesn’t do much to fight it; just softens herself up as she lands in his lap, head buried in his chest. “why do you keep saying it’s nothing? i know something’s bothering you.”

“i just–” she grabs at the material of his shirt and bunches it up in her hand. she squeezes her eyes closed as another lump in her throat forms. “i hate feeling this way. you should see the things people are saying about me right now. it’s not fair; they don’t say any of that about liam.”

“rocky.” truthfully, he doesn’t really know what to say. how would he? he rests his cheeks on the top of her head as her soft cries fill the silence of the hotel room. “you really shouldn’t be reading that. didn’t seb tell you off on that?”

“he did,” she choked, shaking her head, “but after my performance in qualifying today… i had to see what everyone’s saying about me.”

he tightens his arms around her, hoping slightly that this would help her feel better. “i’m sorry.”

“it’s not your fault my life’s like this.”

so it seems that matt’s unlocked a part of her that she hasn’t shown anybody else. there’s a certain level of vulnerability now that not a lot of people have had the pleasure, or unluckiness, of experiencing firsthand in recent years.

once upon a time, she had people to turn to when her racing had gone to shit. but realistically, she hasn’t experienced many mishaps with machinery as a driver, which is probably what’s making it so difficult to cope with her current situation.

nonetheless, her only support system seems to have taken a life of their own that can no longer accommodate her. that’s what she tells herself: oscar and logan have lives and are building relationships and there’s no more space for her in their immediate lives.

she dreaded the media pen after another finish, barely making points out of the race in p9.

to her dismay, her predictions were absolutely right. her first question after stepping up to the mic and camera was something about her ending up behind logan in the placings after spending her entire racing career typically ahead of him.

she wouldn’t have noticed if they hadn’t pointed it out and now the resentment grows as the clock ticks.

matt sighs, “you don’t really mean that; they’re your friends.”

“but i do!” the young girl shrieks, throwing her arms in the air. she paces around the room as she heaves, hands tangled in her hair as she finally sighs about her frustrations. “it’s not fair! nobody cared that logan wasn’t producing results when oscar and i were! suddenly, they’re comparing me to him? i have every right to feel like this, matthew!”

“i know.” he grabs her shoulders to stop her in place then cups her cheeks to force her to look him in the eye. “and you do. i’m not saying you don’t have the right to feel this way, but–”

“you are, though!” she shrieks, stepping back and removing his hands from her. “you don’t get it. i spent my whole life better than logan and suddenly now i’m incompetent just because he’s scoring points? give me his teammate’s car — i’ll still beat him in a race by a margin.”

“i never said that,” he argues, throwing his arms in the air. “you grew up with these guys and i understand that you’re frustrated… it’s okay, but take it easy.”

“i can’t believe you’re taking their side right now, matt,” she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. she throws her arms in the air. “everyone’s already on their side! i need you to be on mine!”

“and i am!” matt huffs. “i am on your side — i just don’t want you to burn bridges like this! it’s okay to be angry, it’s just me here anyway. but these are your best friends!”

“you’re the only one i can be this open to! i need you to be with me!” she stomps her foot on the ground with her hands balled into fists by her side. “i can’t run to my friends and say that that should’ve been me. do you realise how fucked up that sounds?”

“i do!”

“then let me have this one! let me hate them for a couple of minutes before i have to swallow it down and pretend like i’m not fucking jealous of the success they’re all finding this year!” she opens her mouth again to say something, choking up as she tries to speak again.

she pinches the bridge of her nose as a lump forms in her throat. “i can’t say that to them, they’ve worked so hard to be there. and it’s not their fault that i’m not up there with them.”

“you’re right,” matt whispers, taking a step forward and enveloping her in his arms. “you’re right — i’m sorry. it’s just all pent up right now, isn’t it?”

“they’ve been supportive when i’m doing well. i feel like shit feeling like this towards them,” she whispers. “it’s not fair to them, you know? i have to show up for them like they did for me.”

matt calls out her name and the girl simply holds a hand out to him and walks past him in the garage. she pulls the balaclava off her head and shoves the door towards the paddocks to leave him behind.

“hey, talk to me!”

she snatches her arm back just as he grabs it, a bewildered stare on her face. her eyes are teary as she scowls at him. “just leave me alone. not now, matt, god!”

he sucks in a deep breath watching the girl storm further from him. he clenches his jaw and turns on his heel to make his way back to her garage, only to be met by a familiar face.

oscar looks over matt’s shoulder where the girl had strayed off to. “is she okay?”

“she’ll be okay,” matt grins, trying to ignore the pang of pain growing in his chest. “just needs a while to recuperate by herself.”

“are you okay?” oscar asks slowly, flashing him a knowing stare with a comforting smile. “she can get a little angry sometimes, but i promise she’s not always like this.”

“i know.” he forces a chuckle out. “she’s great. but she’ll be okay — just wants to have time to herself right now.”

every week brought around a certain form of unknowing. it’s hard to keep sane when you keep having to adapt to survive.

perhaps that’s the problem: she’s finding it too difficult to adapt.

when she gets out of the car, there’s only ever one consistent thing. it’s always meeting the same pair of warm green eyes in the garage and his arms wide open waiting to receive her.

she crashes into his body, stumbling back a couple of steps from the impact. “i can always expect one thing out of a race,” she sighs, eyes fluttering closed when she feels his hands wrap around her. “and it’s the fact your face will always be here in my garage.”

she feels a hand resting on her back. “well, i want to be here for my girlfriend, you know? she deserves that much.”

“haha, very sweet,” she giggles, pulling away with a small grin. “let’s head out to dinner tonight?” he nods excitedly. “it’s a date.”

perhaps she’s pulled the gun a little too early on that one. the evening had seemed like it was off to a great start with her feeling uplifted from the way she made it to the third round of qualifiers. the interviews and her team meeting hadn’t gone as well as she initially expected.

she leans forward on the table, cheek resting in her palms as she pushes the sole piece of carrot left on her plate. sat across her is matt, talking about something from his audition a couple of days ago.

he stops himself, tilting his head at his seemingly unresponsive girlfriend. “is everything okay?”

she lifts her eyes, lips parted with an empty stare. “yes. sorry, you were saying about your audition?”

“right,” he smiles, “i was saying that i think my audition went great. it’s a good show so if i get the part, it’s going to be–” but the lack of reaction and enthusiasm from the girl makes him stop midsentence again. he lets out a shaky breath, “nevermind. maybe another time.”

“no, matt,” she sighs looking up slightly more aware and attentive than before. “i’m sorry. i just have so much on my mind right now. please keep telling me how the audition.”

he shakes his head and drops his head to continue his meal. he would have asked what’s bothering her, but he’s since learned that she would tell him if he really wanted to, especially after he’d already asked her seconds ago. “it’s alright, bub. when you’re feeling better. what’s on your mind?”

“okay, wait up.”

matt struggles to catch up to the girl after having stormed out of the garage after briefly stepping into it for a mere second. he’d barely gotten a glimpse of her before she started stomping towards the small exit door in the back of her garage.

the girl had stormed through the semi busy paddocks with tunnel vision to the racing home, ignoring anyone and anything that tried to get between that. he had even followed up with soft apologies as she blatantly continued to ignore bigger names.

realistically, they should have taken the look of fury on her face as a clear sign. with her race, she didn’t have the energy to stop and feign a smile to make small talk.

no, because she genuinely feels the world spinning underneath her feet.

the door to her driver’s room flies open with a loud thud as it comes into contact with the wall.

and at the comfort of her floral-scented room, she stands in the middle of it, hands fisted by her side. she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes as she does so.

surely the 30 second pit stop that caused her a points finish warrants this, right?

to some degree perhaps, she tries to reason with herself.

she opens her eyes and starts to look around her room for something **— anything — to keep her from tearing the walls down of the building of the team that keeps screwing her over. she keeps her eyes on the picture frame on the wall of her and sebastian from the year before in miami, champagne drenched with her trophy in hand.

at the call of her name, she feels something snap inside her.

her scream pierces through the silence of her driver’s room, followed by the loud thud of her helmet clashing against the wall decorated with a singular picture frame. the helmet falls to the ground followed by the framed picture on her wall.

she drops to her knees with another scream, quickly transitioning into a sob as her fisted hand comes into contact with the carpeted ground of her room with every word she screams. “that’s not fucking fair!”

“rocky–”

“don’t!” she pushes away the hand that hovers over her shoulder, desperate to console her. “don’t touch me!”

she’s been holding it in since the race had started — something felt wrong. every weekend she walks into the paddocks feels like a chore; the only thing constantly in her head is the question of how another race could possibly go wrong for her.

every single passing weekend seems to outdo the previous and there is only so much she can do as a driver with a car that’s uncooperative.

the man behind her can only watch, in agony, as the girl kneels on the ground. she slowly hunches forward, elbows on the ground with her sobs echoing in the empty room. her fisted hands hit the ground with a soft thud as she cries. “i’m not any better than i was every moment before this. maybe i’m not even as good of a driver as i’d thought.”

she throws her head back as she sucks in a deep breath. she breathes out, “i don’t wanna do this anymore.” she twists her body, eyes stinging from her tears and her cheeks stained. a soft sigh passes her lips as the initial bout of anger and frustration finally leaves her. “can we just go home?”

“you still have the debrief to attend,” he says softly and hesitantly. “that might really make you feel better, you know? maybe if you talked to your team about it, they could address what your concerns are and even come up with a solution?”

“please,” she whines with a heavy sigh. “i don’t want to stay here. fuck the team.”

and so he does what he can to help, against his better judgment and the image that he tries to keep around here for her. he helps her pack her bags, wraps his jacket around her and brings her back to the hotel. he’ll just call sebastian later and explain.

she lies on her side, kidnapper nuzzled into her chest as she taps away on her phone. on the other side of the bed is matt, on the phone with his agent, talking about something regarding the audition he had gone to a couple of weeks ago.

she shuts her eyes at the constant chatter filling the silence of her bedroom, irritability growing in her chest. the peace and quiet she’d been hoping for is now gone.

she scrambles up with a soft huff before quickly leaving the room, the door slamming behind her as she leaves. she grabs the throw on the couch and wrapping her body with it. she lies back down on the couch and closes her eyes, desperate to get a nap in before their flight later in the evening.

the door creaks open, matt’s head popping out with the phone against his chest. “is everything okay? you left without saying anything.”

“i’m fine,” she mutters, voice muffled by the pillow she’s pressed her face into. “i just need time to myself right now.”

she hears him sigh. “bub, i’m on the phone with my agent. i can’t do this right now.”

“we’re not doing anything,” she scoffs, lifting her head momentarily to glare at him before lowering her head again. “just leave me alone. i want to be by myself.”

“okay,” he answers, the door slamming closed.

she wasn’t going to cry, at least not until now. all day she’d been dreading leaving for the airport to fly off for another race weekend — there are only so many misfortune a person can take in an underperforming car before it takes a toll on their confidence.

but she does and wraps it up the minute she hears the bedroom door open again.

she urges matt towards the door. “please, please. you have to come up with some lie why i can’t make it out tonight,” she whines, squeezing matt’s arm.

“what?” matt shrieks, turning around to stop her from opening the door. “they’re your friends. you should be the one to tell them why we’re cancelling on them tonight.”

“i can’t face them right now, bub,” she sighs, shaking her head. “i miss them, but i also kinda hate them right now. please?”

she’d agreed to head out to grab a couple of drinks with oscar and logan tonight, especially since it’s one of the rare times that they’re all in london together. but as the clocked would down to the time that they’re supposed to pick her up from her apartment, she abruptly changed her mind.

she just didn’t have the energy to go.

“tell them i’m sick or something or that i fell, i don’t know,” she whispers. “please, do me this favour.”

“i’m back from the store!”

matt furrows his eyebrows at the empty living room. he’s only greeted by kidnapper sitting in front of her bedroom door, mewing softly. the cat turns its head to glance at him, meowing again before turning to the door.

“is rocky in there?” he asks softly, bending down to pet the cat on the head. “and you’re mad she’s not letting you in?”

as if the cat understood what he said, he meows back again with a slow blink. he hums and puts the paper bag down next to the door.

he pushes it open, greeted by a dimly lit room. he flinches back at the figure sitting at the edge of the bed, hunched over with soft sobs filling the room.

“sorry,” she mutters, rubbing her nose on the sleeve of her sweater. “i fell down a rabbit hole. i know we said i shouldn’t but i couldn’t help it.”

“hey, what’s wrong?” he coos, walking around the black cat that’s pouring into the room with him. “what happened?”

she keeps her back facing him, yanking her phone towards the top of her bed. “i read the stupid articles again,” she cries, covering her face with her palms, “i had to know what they were saying about me.”

he sighs her name, a comforting hand on her shoulder. “why did you do that? you know that isn’t good for you.”

“because it’s not fair!” she shrieks, pushing herself off the bed to stand. “i worked so hard the past 2 years to prove that i belong in formula 1 — that i worked harder than anybody else to make it here and be the first woman in the grid in decades. but that doesn’t matter anymore, no, because i’m washed. i’m a fluke; sebastian took the chance on the wrong girl.”

“that’s why i’d said–”

“that kimi raikkonen and fucking jenson button are starting to eat their words about the girl that their friend had taken a gamble on to put in a race car alongside 21 other men on the grid,” she rambles on. she throws her arms into the air. “you don’t fucking get it, matt! and consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to because this shit is fucking exhausting!”

matt sighs, putting his hands on his knees as he takes her spot at the edge of the bed. he watches her intently as she continues her rampage.

“this shit sucks! do you have any idea how i feel? i’ve fallen so far from grace — there’s no saving my career!” she shrieks, turning her back on him to look out the window of her bedroom. “nobody’s ever going to take a chance on another woman if my results keep ending up like that.”

he closes his eyes and takes another deep breath, trying to ignore the way his patience was slowly escaping his grasp. while he likes letting her speak her mind, lately, it just seems like nothing is ever going through her head.

she listens, but nothing ever actually takes effect.

“let’s go get ice cream,” matt mutters, standing up from his spot on the bed. he only has so much self-control. “would make you feel better.”

she whirls around, eyebrows furrowed. “what?”

“come on,” matt beckons her towards her bedroom door. “let’s go. and then let’s pick stubby up from logan’s and go for a walk in the park. how’s that sound?”

“kinda nice actually,” she says softly. “okay, just let me get dressed.”

it’s happened again. she got mad at something minuscule again. if you asked matt, he wasn’t even sure what had happened. he simply asked her if she needed his help, cleaning off the contents of the vase that previously sat on the dining table as decoration.

then she just lashed out.

“yes, fuck’s sake,” she mutters after he’d asked. she lifts her head to look at the black cat sitting in the seat of the dining table, head hung low at her. “and god, kid! i told you to keep off the fucking table! that’s exactly why i keep telling you that!”

“hey! that’s a cat you’re screaming at!” matt stands up from his position on the ground, previously helping her collect the water beads that she’d thrown into the vase for the flowers. “it was a mistake — it’s a one-off thing! what’s your problem?”

“i’ve got bigger things to worry about, matt.”

“oh, my god, rocky!” he puts the vase down on the table and looks at her. “do you even hear yourself right? actually, have you taken a step back and listened to yourself lately? you’re screaming at a cat for doing cat things. your cat.”

she clenches her jaw, tilting her head. they’ve never really fought before. “there’s a reason he’s trained to not be on the table!”

“he’s a cat!” matt emphasises, pointing at the cat that’s now run off towards the balcony of the apartment. “listen, okay? there are two people in this relationship. you can’t always fucking expect me to baby you like this.”

she squints her eyes. “what are you talking about?”

“have you really even tried to look at the bigger picture lately? there’s more to life than your time and results in a race car,” he states. he hadn’t expected to break now. initially, he’d been planning to sit her down and have a serious chat about her mental state. but hearing her lash out again over something that typically wouldn’t be an issue broke him. “everyone’s telling you the same thing. it’s the car. it’s. not. you.”

“yeah, but–”

“and if you’re just going to nod your head and then drag your feet to lock yourself away from everyone else, it’s not going to make you feel any better! you actually have to believe the words that we’re saying to you. you know that, don't you?”

he takes a deep breath to collect himself. he doesn’t even really shout often. he’s more on the reserved side. “if you don’t want my help, fine. but if you need me… when you decide that you finally want my help — when you’re really ready to listen and willing to get some perspective — call me. please.”

matt finally gets a good look at her, hands clasped in front of her, now standing with her head hung low. if he’d taken a second longer to scan her, he’d have noticed the way her lips quivered and the tears that filled her eyes to the brim. “i don’t like seeing you like this,” he says softly, “but i also don’t like being treated like a fucking doormat. and i tried to be there for you, bub, but you’re unreceptive.

“i keep giving you my hand to hold and you just keep fucking ignoring it. when are you going to get in your head that shutting down and keeping to yourself isn’t going to be a viable way around this?”

“matt,” she says softly, her hand reaching out to grab his.

he takes a step back before she can touch him. “this always happens, rocky. you lash out, you hurt my feelings, you apologise then i forgive you. it’s good for a couple of days and then something happens and we’re just stuck in this loop — it’s exhausting. and i love you.

“god, i love you. and i want to keep liking you too, but love just won’t cut it,” he sighs, slouching his shoulders. “i don’t want to get tired of loving you, okay?” he sucks in a deep breath and he knows that he will probably regret uttering these words to her. “i’m sorry, rocky, but i can’t keep doing this cycle with you. i need a break.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @mclarengf @xoscar03 @nomie-11 @green-thots @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

[lvnleah]

Pumpkin carving chaos.

a cute one about the chaos that comes with pumpkin carving and three kids!

As always thank you to @scribblesofagoonerr for the help on this one! Also features everyone’s two favourites Buddy and monkey!

“I wan’ this pumpkin please!” You told Beth, pointing at the pumpkin that she had just placed on the table. 

“That one?” Beth asked, getting a nod from you as you sat on the dining table chair. “You sure? You want me to put it in front of you?”

You nodded, “Yeah! My pumpkin, when is Buddy gon’ be here?”

“Soon munchkin,” Beth laughed, “Are you excited to do pumpkin carving?”

“Yeah! Mines gon’ be a silly face, not scary!” You declared proudly as Beth set up the table with newspaper and pumpkins at every seat. 

Ever since doing pumpkin carving with Beth and Viv a couple of days ago, you had been begging them to let you do it with your little bestie Buddy. You’d been talking about it non-stop and eventually Beth gave in and arranged something with Leah. 

Halloween wasn’t for a few days yet and Viv was currently in the hospital having another operation on her knee so Beth was using it as something to distract you with. You watched as Beth set up the table with newspaper, carving tools and pumpkins, you sat with Twix happily on your lap as you waited for your best friend to arrive. 

Moments later, the familiar sound of the doorbell rang. You jumped down from the chair and ran towards the door with Myle and Beth following close behind, “Buddy’s here!” 

“Wait a second Roo,” Beth called out as she walked behind you, “Wait for me to open the door please.”

“Hurry up, Mummy!” you urged, bouncing on your toes as you waited by the door with Twix tucked tightly under your arm. 

Beth laughed, taking her time as she reached the door. “What happened to patience, little miss?”

You let out a huff. “I wanna see Buddy though!”

Beth chuckled at your impatience, “What about Auntie Le and Monkey?”

You scrunched up your nose, shrugging a bit. “Well, them as well,” you admitted with a grin, “but me and Buddy gon’ carve pumpkins like you promised! Hurry up, Mummy!”

“Alright, alright, I’m opening the door now!” Beth said, unable to hide her grin as she finally pulled it open.

“Roo!” Buddy’s voice rang out in delight as she launched herself forward, the two of you colliding in an enthusiastic hug.

“Buddy!” you squealed, wrapping your arms around her tightly.

“I’m here as well, remember?” Monkey murmured as she stepped inside. “Honestly, guess I've just been forgotten about now. That’s the harsh reality…”

Leah rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Oh, how will you cope?”

“She seems excited,” Beth said sarcastically, “What’s got you in a grump eh?”

“Malfoy here won’t let me hang out with Kyra alone,” Monkey huffed as Leah shut the door behind her. “Apparently we can’t be trusted alone!”

Leah sighed, shaking her head, “It’s for your own safety! Them two seem happy,” Leah said, nodding towards you and Buddy as you talked amongst yourselves about the pumpkins.

Beth nodded, chuckling. “She hasn’t stopped talking about Buddy coming round to carve pumpkins with her all morning,” she replied, her smile warm as she watched the two of you.

Leah shook her head, grinning. “Buddy has been the same, she’s been more of a chatterbox than usual.”

Beth raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Is that even possible?”

“Oh, okay, I see how it is!” Leah laughed, pretending to be offended. “That’s where Buddy’s got it from, huh? And here I thought it was just Keira telling her that.”

“Like mother, like daughter,” Beth teased as they made their way into the kitchen. “She definitely doesn’t get it from Jordy, that’s for sure.”

“Ha, good one, Beef!” Monkey piped up, appearing behind Leah and holding out her hand for a high-five with Beth, which Beth eagerly slapped. “Guess I should go and help the little rugrats with the drawing side of it?”

Beth smirked, crossing her arms. “Sure you don’t mind the gunk?”

“If they try to get me with the gunk like Buddy did last year, then I’m running…” Monkey said, “Well, okay, maybe not running, but you know—quick walk and all that.”

“Sure, we get you. I’m sure you’ll be fine, Menace,” Leah teased, giving Monkey an amused smile.

You and Buddy were already in your seats, pumpkins in front of you, eager to start. 

“Mummy! Hurry up,” you huffed, swinging your legs back and forth. “We wan’ carve them!”

“Yeah! Hurry up,” Buddy echoed like a little parrot, “We need to carve scary faces to scare people!”

Beth chuckled, “Alright, since when did you two become such little monsters huh?”

Monkey took her spot next to you, grabbing a marker and handing one to Buddy. “Alright, rugrats, before you can carve, you gotta draw the face you want. What’s it gonna be?”

You gave Monkey a determined nod. “I’m making a silly face. Not scary. But maybe a little spooky, like… spooky-funny!”

Buddy scrunched up her nose, clearly deep in thought. “Mine’s gon’ be super scary! Have big smile cos’ then it’ll be friendly too. Like a monster that makes people laugh!”

Beth shook her head, trying to hold back her laughter as she pulled up a chair to help. “So, we’ve got spooky-funny and scary-friendly. I think these pumpkins are in good hands.”

Leah sat down next to Beth, grabbing a carving tool and showing Buddy how to use it safely. “Alright, little monster, remember, we’re just drawing faces right now, no cutting yet. Once you’re happy, then we’ll help with the carving.”

Buddy nodded, her eyes wide as she carefully started drawing. You, meanwhile, had already sketched out two big eyes and a wobbly, goofy smile on your pumpkin, giggling at your own masterpiece.

Monkey leaned over to check it out, chuckling. “Looks like a little pumpkin with attitude! Alright, Miss Spooky-Funny, I’ll help with the mouth. You want teeth?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Pointy ones, but not too pointy. I don’t want it to be scary-scary.”

As the drawing finished, Leah helped Buddy with her pumpkin design while Beth handed you and Buddy some tools for carving.

Beth took a deep breath as she held a small knife over the top of your pumpkin. “Alright, here we go,” she said, carefully cutting a circle around the stem. Once the lid was free, she lifted it with a triumphant smile. “Pumpkin top off—ta-da!”

Buddy peered into her pumpkin that Leah had just cut, practically bouncing in her seat. “Look at da’ guts!” she squealed, reaching in without hesitation to grab a handful of the sticky, stringy mess.

You, on the other hand, wrinkled your nose in disgust, leaning away from your pumpkin. “Eww! Mummy, it’s slimy and gross! It’s stinky!”

Monkey pulled a face of her own. “I’m with you, Roo. That stuff is just… rank.” She shivered dramatically. “Keep yer’ pumpkin guts away from me, Buddy!”

But Buddy was unfazed, squishing the pumpkin innards between her fingers. “It feel funny! Look, it all gooey!” She held up her handful of pumpkin guts, grinning from ear to ear.

Leah chuckled as she helped Buddy scoop out more of the insides. “Quite the little pumpkin enthusiast you are, aren’t ya bubba?”

Beth smiled, shaking her head. “She’s fearless, that’s for sure. Unlike these two wimps,” she teased, nodding toward you and Monkey, who were huddled away from the pumpkin mess with matching looks of horror.

You watched Buddy giggle as she played with the guts, looking both fascinated and appalled. “It stinks!”

Buddy just laughed, tossing some of the pumpkin seeds onto the newspaper in front of her. “It not bad! You try, Roo?”

You shook your head firmly. “No thank you!”

Beth grinned, handing you a spoon. “Here, use this instead, alright? No slimy fingers then.”

Monkey watched her with a raised eyebrow. “You’re really going all in there, aren’t you, Buddy?”

Buddy beamed, holding up a little clump of guts. “Look! Pumpkin monster!”

She wiggled the gooey mess in front of you, pretending it was alive, and you squealed, laughing, “Ewww, Buddy, no! 

Leah rolled her eyes playfully and set down Buddy’s pumpkin scooper. “Alright, alright, I think Roo’s had enough of the pumpkin monster. Let’s get back to making those silly and spooky faces, huh?”

You nodded with a big grin, now brandishing your spoon proudly as your tool of choice. Carefully, you started scraping out the inside of your pumpkin, occasionally glancing at Buddy, who was still digging in with her hands like a pro.

“Monks, look! Pumpkin guts,” Buddy smiled, holding up her messy hand that was covered in the pumpkin guts. “For ‘ou!”

Monkey shrieked, pulling away from Buddy, “No way, get that stuff away from me!”

You and Buddy giggled at Monkey’s reaction, both of you clearly entertained by her dramatics. Beth chuckled, shaking her head, “Alright, let’s keep the pumpkin guts to ourselves, yeah?”

Buddy pouted a little, wiping her hands on the newspaper, but quickly turned her attention back to her pumpkin. “Fine. ‘Ou missing out monks!”

Leah handed Buddy a napkin with a grin. “Okay, pumpkin monster, let’s make this masterpiece even scarier, yeah?”

Buddy nodded eagerly, going back to her drawing. “He’s gon’ have big teeth” she announced, adding exaggerated fangs to her pumpkin’s smile.

Meanwhile, you had finally scooped out enough to start carving. Beth sat beside you, guiding your hand carefully. “Alright, here’s the tool, but remember, just take it slow, yeah?”

You nodded, biting your lip in concentration as you began to carve the first eye. “It’s gonna look soooo funny,” you whispered. 

Monkey leaned over, watching your progress. “I don’t know, Roo. He looks pretty scary to me!”

You giggled, adding a wobbly eyebrow above one eye, “He no scary! He’s friendly!”

Beth stifled a laugh beside you. “Definitely unique looking!” she said proudly.

As you carved your pumpkin’s second eye, you glanced over at Buddy’s pumpkin, which now had exaggerated fangs and wild eyebrows that looked both terrifying and a little goofy.

Buddy looked over at your pumpkin and gasped dramatically. “Roo! ‘Our pumpkin is silly!”

You grinned, “Silly but friendly, like me!”

Leah smirked, watching you both. “These pumpkins are a sight to behold. I think they’re the best girls I've ever seen, girls!”

Monkey leaned over and snickered, “Oh yeah, they’re definitely original that’s for sure,” she, being on the recieving end of a glare from Leah while she held her hands up, “Geesh, alright, I was jokin’. I’m sorry!”

Leah contninued to eye Monkey before she turned to lean towards Buddy, “So, what’re we callin’ this pumpkin then, bubba?”

Buddy looked deep in thought for a few seconds before cracking a smile, “I know! His’ name gon’ be Freddie! Cos’ he’s scary!”

You looked at your pumpkin thoughtfully. “Mine’s Steve. He’s funny, like me!”

Beth slowly nodded her head, “Unique names…but they suit them!”

“Oh yeah, like from the movie… Shit,” Monkey’s eyes widened in realisation before quickly clamping her mouth shut within seconds, her eyes darted towards Leah in her realisation of her slip up, “Uhm, yeah, forget I said out about whatever I just said then!”

“That’s a cute name… Wait, what?” Leah crossed her arms, giving Monkey a disapproving look. “Are you kidding me?”

“I swear, Le, it’s not as bad as it sounds, honestly,” Monkey murmured, scracthing the back of her neck awkwardly, wondering to herself how she planned to get out of this one.

“Explain. Now,” Leah continued to look a mixture of intrigued and annoyed at the current situation, “You hadn’t better be about to say what I think you’re about to say, Menace.”

“Well, uh… So, well me and Kyra wanted to watch a film and uh… Buddy may or may not have happened to walk in at the wrong time,” Monkey mumbled, hoping Leah hadn’t caught onto it right at that moment, “See? It’s really not that bad!”

Beth grinned, “Oh really? And what movie might that be, Menace?”

“It was just a Halloween one, you know, only a smidge bit scary but there was well, there was a lot of toys in it, and uh she loved it!” Monkey continued to fidget nervously, “Didn’t you, Buddy?”

“Uh huh, it was fun!” Buddy nodded in agreement, “Five nights at Freddies!”

Leah’s eyes widened at the title of the movie, “Are you kidding me, Monkey?! What the hell is wrong with you– You let a 3 year old watch a horror film with you. I honestly can’t even fathom the words right now… How could you let this happen!?” she ranted right there and then on the spot, and Monkey knew she was done for.

“I know, I messed up and I’m sorry, but she honestly did love it though!” Monkey tried to clarify and make it better than it seemed.

“That doesn’t make it okay!” Leah was seething with the younger girl, shaking her head, “We will be talking about this later, lets’ just finish these pumpkins for now.” She declared.

After a bit more carving and laughter, the pumpkins were finally finished. You and Buddy proudly held them up for everyone to see.

“Alright, who’s ready to take these outside and light them up?” Beth asked, clapping her hands.

You and Buddy’s faces lit up in excitement. “Me! Me!”

As Beth and Leah carefully lifted the pumpkins to carry them outside, “Mummy, I wanna carry Steve!” you said, reaching out with both arms.

“Me too! I wan’ carry Freddie!” Buddy added, crossing her arms and looking up at Leah with a pout.

Leah chuckled, bending down to meet Buddy’s eyes. “Fred’s a bit heavy, but you can help me, okay?”

Buddy’s shoulders slumped slightly, clearly wishing she could manage it on her own. “I big enough to carry him myself,”she muttered, looking a little disappointed.

Beth glanced at you, amused. “Same with you, little miss. Steve might not be as heavy as Freddie, but he’s still a bit much for you, yeah?”

You crossed your arms stubbornly. “I’m strong! I can carry him,” you protested, looking at Beth with your best “I’m serious” face.

Beth softened, giving you a warm smile. “I know you’re strong, Roo, but pumpkins like these need two strong people to carry them.” 

You let out a tiny huff but nodded. “Why don’t you girls carry the lights, yeah? That’s the most important thing!” Leah suggested. 

“Yeah!” You nodded, taking a packet of LED candles from Beth. 

Outside, Beth and Leah set the pumpkins down, and you and Buddy immediately crouched in front of them, faces glowing with excitement as Beth switched on the LED candles inside.

“Look at him!” you said proudly, reaching out to pat Steve’s carved face.

Leah nodded, watching you both bask in pride. “I’d say Steve and Freddie are the best pumpkins ever!”

[roguelov]

So it came to me that both Hob and Morpheus are Dilfs.

I wonder do they know they constitute Dilfs? I feel like if their s/o (either together or separate) learned they had past children at one point they'd call them a dilf (because they are).

But I imagine hob and Morpheus would have Different Reactions to learning what a dilf is. Like hob has had time, healing, maybe went to therapy like he'd take it in good humor I'd imagine.

Morpheus on the other hand? I feel like He's still neck deep in the agonies from all that due to no therapy and no socialization so I don't think he'd take it as well 😅

Panini 😘 (hydrate, be healthy, eat a snacky snack, and stay demure, cutesy, and mindful)

They are dilfs and they need to know this!!!!!!

“I beg your pardon?” Morpheus asked incredulously.

“Dilf,” you repeated yourself, unbothered by his tone. “You know a dad you would like to fuck, a dilf.”

Hob chuckled, while Morpheus steeled his emotions. In fact, the Endless wasn’t quite sure how he feels on the matter. A dilf? The world of the waking and mortals was truly a strange one.

Morpheus muttered under his breath, “I don’t see how it is relevant if I am or am not a father, we already have a physical relationship.”

Laughing, Hob clapped Morpheus’s back. “You may be right, love, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

Morpheus rolled his eyes.

You smiled at the pair, shrugging. “I thought you would at least like to know.”

Hob beamed, then threw you a sly wink. “And I appreciate the compliment, love.”

Morpheus’s eyes narrowed slightly. This was a compliment? Ridiculous.

“Morpheus?” He looked over at you. You wore a concerned look. It seemed he wasn’t … coping well with your joking compliment. “I’m sorry if I caused you some discomfort.”

He sighed, “It’s fine, my dear.”

Is it? In Morpheus’s mind, he wasn’t a father at least not anymore. So, how could he be this ‘dilf’?

“Morpheus,” Hob calmly stated. He rubbed the Endless’s back as if to draw him out of his spiral throes. “Are you -“

“I said I am fine.” He paused, thinking his words carefully. “I am simply confused, I am not a father.”

Not anymore.

The unspoken words hung in the space between the three of you.

You winced internally. Why did you even say it? Damn it, it was just a silly joke. You hadn’t mean to cause him any misery. How could you fix this? How - how - how -

You blurted out, “Well I could always give you a kid to make you a dad!”

Hob’s and Morpheus’s eyes widened. You clamped your mouth, and internally berated yourself for saying such a thing. A heat licked at your cheeks, threatening to burn you from the inside out.

“I’m sorry!” You shouted before scrambling away. It was the best move given your mouth was only digging yourself further into a hole.

Hob blinked snapping himself out of his stupor. He turned to Morpheus seeing his shocked expression. Morpheus then sighed, shaking his head.

“Are you okay?” Hob asked quietly, making sure he didn’t overstep or push Morpheus too far.

Morpheus glanced to Hob. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips. “A bit … it is certainly never a dull moment around here.”

Hob smiled. “Never, isn’t it fantastic?”

Morpheus nodded, letting the smile completely curl over his lips.

[gamblersdoll]

Thankyou for answering my question!

This week is 2 years since my best friend was killed, grief sucks ass and not in the fun way.

I’d love to request a Katsuki x fem!reader who’s best friend passed away suddenly and how he helps them cope with it

Thanks DV! <3

first off, my condolences. angst turned to fluff

an: i hope this was satisfactory, added some things a bit.

two years since they died, and it still feels like yesterday since it all happened. the memories of the constant confusion, the fact they weren’t answering the phone, to getting the call that they had perished in the worse way possible.

you remember feeling your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, the other person on the line barely giving any answers, a reason, nor comfort to the sobs that you choked out and feeling the world starting to spin.

luckily, katsuki was there just ready to help. he knew what death felt like, experiencing it briefly himself when he was merely sixteen in a war he shouldn’t have been in. he held you until you couldnt cry anymore, only rubbing circles in your back and stay quiet, warming his palm and reach over in the mini fridge to grab you water.

but yet, it was two years ago when they had perished. and here were you, stuck in bed and have yet to get up. along the lines of nightmares, the days that led up to their death, the last phone call from them, all just to everyone not even answering your questions.. you hated how depression and grief got to you. especially just doing motor functions or basics of life.

your job had given you the week off, knowing how it was and they graciously believed in mental health. and you needed the week anyway..

yet, you still feel stuck, your mind still in and out of the black waves of your pain and emptiness that you felt without having them here. you couldnt be social after that, feeling like it would be wrong to have a new best friend or just have a associate. your head hurt, becoming dehydrated from the lack of water you consumed. and somehow though? even if you didnt drink anything, you had to pee. yet, you physically can’t move.

everything felt way too heavy to even get up, costing your skin to become dry and scaly, your bladder becoming full and kidneys starting to hurt from the back up. you started to lose some pounds due to everything.. and you felt like you were going crazy—

“bad day, huh?” katsuki enters, kicking off his boots and taking off his gauntlets. he struts over, a gloved hand wiping tears and hair from your face. “you eat yet?”

you shook your head no, him nodding and scooping you up.

“can tell youve been in bed all day, dragon breath.” he mumbles, hearing your distasteful groans and plopping you onto the porcelain seat. “youve gotta piss though, cant fuck up your kidneys.” he reminds, the water faucet running and he dobbles a dip of toothpaste on the bristles, pressing your lip up and drawing circles on your teeth with the toothbrush.

“you dont have to baby me, katsuki.” you mumble, him snapping his fingers and quietly telling you to stick your tongue out so he can use the tongue scraper on you. “this is embarrassing” you say with your mouth open.

“try again?” he asks, pulling the scrapper away.

“it’s embarrassing you have to do this..” you say, him flicking your forehead. “ow!”

“yer my gahdamn girl, ain’t nothin’ embarrassing about me takin’ care of you.” he says, pointing at the mouthwash cup next to you. “now swish. im going to go get dinner started and get some clothes for your bath.”

you sigh, nodding your head, no strength in fighting with him. you hear the bath faucet start up, the strong current of water flooding into the tub and watching the stream go in.

“arms up.” he says, pulling your shirt over your head and tying your hair up. your pants were already off, due to him forcing you to express your bladder. he scoops you up again, gently sitting you into the bath and turning the water off. “stay here, ill bring you everything.”

maybe about fifteen, twenty minutes had passed? you don’t remember, the concept of time was little to non existent right now. but you hear him come in with some pasta, had cajun in it. and luckily, just a shirt and shorts to keep you in.

“you didnt have to do all of this.” you say, rubbing your eyes from exhaustion and potential tears bubbling down your face. “i should be able to do all of these things, im a grown woman.”

he only sits and listens, him picking up a rag and gently scrubbing your back, neck and shoulders. “let me tell you something,”

your ears perk up, slowly lifting the fork and eating the portion of pasta.

“when izuku lost his quirk, i was like this too a bit.” he says, recalling the day that allmight and izuku told katsuki after everything they had went through, he had been back to quirkless. “it was like a piece of me had died, and it felt like i had nothing to rely on, or anything.”

“yet, the only things that really helped me were a goal, and the extras around me that were in my ear everyday.” he says, watching your face light up just a little bit, turning up to look at him. “the memories of izuku being quirkless didnt die, we just.. made him a suit that did everything he did.”

“their memories dont have to die either, all you just have to figure out or remember is what they always told you.” he squishes your cheeks together with his fingers, and he watches your nose scrunch. “i know they arent the same, definitely not, but im trying.”

“it.. it helps, since youre here feeding me and washing my ass.” you chuckled, him rolling his eyes and scoffing in a joking manner. “thank you, katsuki.”

“you want me to shave yer pits too?” he asks, water being splashed at him and he growls. “cut the shit, forest fire.”

“choke on my smoke.” you say, doing the great lord explosion god dynamights impression.

they always told you several different things, being along the lines of them loving you, about how close they were to you, or about their obsession with bumblebees.

bumblebees? like.. the transformer or the actual insect? no, definitely the insect.

and with the turn of your head, finishing up putting on your clothes and hearing katsuki go down the stairs with the bowls of the eaten pasta , you saw them.

the biggest bumblebee that they raved about.

[elsgooglyeyes]

long distance situationships are hard. so here’s cute little drabbles about the random domestic things you and ellie would do for me to cope.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟﾟ☾

first off, ellie will do anything with you, and i mean anything. you’ve gotta go drop off a box at the post office? ellie is right by your side. you’ve gotta run to cvs for a new charging cord? ellie is walking up and down the aisles with you because she insisted you get snacks while you’re there.

“i dunno babe…you never know when you’re gonna need snacks. you especially need some when someone wants to come over and like…watch a movie or some shit…” ellie mumbles and shrugs her shoulders. you smile softly and pause, “is that you saying you want to come over and watch a move?” ellie eyes you from the side and bites back a small smile, “i mean if you’re suggesting it, babe. i’d fuckin’ love to. thanks! let’s get these and these…oh! and these…” she starts piling different chips and candy into your basket on top of your charging cord, burying it in the bottom. later that night, you’re both cuddled up in bed, the laptop propped onto of your legs and whirring ever-so dramatically as if it’s a plane about to take off. ellie’s arm and hand is intertwined with your own, your head resting on her shoulder. her thumb draws slow circles on your hand and you hum at the feeling.

“i can’t believe you’re getting me to watch this fuckin’ movie…” she mumbles and you laugh. “it’s my favorite! you’re gonna have to learn to love it,” you state matter-of-factly as the universal intro begins, sung by a bunch of men a capella. you immediately start singing along to the first song, and ellie just chuckles and shakes her head. she sighs softly and gets more comfortable, knowing it’s gonna be something she’ll have to like just because you like it. by the end of the movie, however, she’s engrossed; watching you sing the final songs with enthusiasm and marking the choreography while still seated next to her. you laugh along and ellie pipes up, “i feel like they should’ve revealed benji is a good singer at the end during his solo. that would’ve been a crazy reveal! they should get me to write and direct these,” and then another with “beca and chloe aren’t endgame? what the fuck?” you both end the night in each others arms, a comfortable silence washed over you. your head is buried in her side, trying to engrave her scent into your mind. “can we watch the second one tomorrow…?” ellie whispers and you giggle, nodding your head. “i knew you’d like it” you whisper back. “shut up.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟﾟ☾

ellie would sit on the counter as you cook her breakfast, her boxers hung low and hair running rampant. you hum softly as you cook the eggs and begin the bacon. ellie watches you intently, mesmerized by every little thing you do. how can someone make peeling raw meat look so hot? okay, kind of gross. but you make it attractive. her eyes wander down your body, soaking it in like the first and last time she’s ever gonna see it. taking in your marks, scars, wrinkles, and anything else she can make note of like she would need to draw a map of your body. her eyes wander back up to your face, and she smiles softly. “jesus…” she mumbles and your eyes widen a bit as you look at her. “what’s wrong?”

“you’re just…too fucking perfect…everything about you…” she draws on as she continues looking at you. you feel heat rise to your cheeks and you return your attention to the food. “thank you babe…but i’m not all that.”

“ohhh but you are,” ellie mumbles as she slowly gets off the counter and comes up behind you, hands resting on your hips, goosebumps following in their wake. she places a soft, lazy kiss on the spot between your shoulder and neck. her hands roam to your stomach and you swat them away softly, giving her a pointed look with your eyebrows raised. ellie chuckles and places her hands back on your hips and places another kiss, and then another. in between each one she whispers praises to you, “you’re so beautiful,” kiss “and kind,” kiss “and you make me laugh like no one else can,” kiss “i think you’re even funnier than me,” kiss and smirk. your face continues to heat up as she does this. fortunately, the food is done before she can continue and you turn around abruptly in her arms. “food is ready, but we can continue this later, yeah?” you smirk and place a soft kiss on her lips to which she happily accepts. your lips slot together and ellie sighs softly, but you pull away too soon and ellie is left chasing you with her lips. she sighs and grabs a plate to begin eating. “this better be the fastest we’ve ever eaten, babe…” she states as she eats her food quickly, “i’ve gotta show you all the ways you’re perfect to me…” she smirks and puts her attention back to her food as you bite back a smile and begin eating as well.

[konigsblog]

for angst, him comforting you with mental health issues (depression, anxiety, eating, bad coping skills, maybe he notices signs of mania?) things like that could be triggering but sometimes it’s just nice to feel like theres someone there for you, even if it’s not real :(

tw; mentions of eating disorders (bulimia)

whenever he came back from your deployment, you always looked different. your weight fluctuating, you jaw swollen and your eyebags growing. some days he came back and you had red marks and scars on your knuckles, your teeth grazing against your skin causing cuts to form.

you always smiled, even if you were really struggling, and he always grew worried. he didn't want tto find you leaning over the toilet, your stomach swollen with food, ruptured and deceased. he hates the way your tears would well up with tears when you brushes through your hair - chunks of hair falling from your scalp, losing your sex drive due to insecurities and your struggles.

whenever you slept, he'd hold you hand. noticing your purple and blue nails, freezing cold palms. you were so cold that he worried if you'd died, feeling like a corpse in his arms. gazing down at the redness on your knuckles, sighing deeply before kissing your forehead, removing the body scale in the bathroom and throwing away the food scales that rested in the cupboard draws.

simon despised the way you'd play around with your food, cutting them into small pieces and attempting to distract him with questions about his day or work. how was your day? what did you do on your missions this time? how's johnny? eventually, he couldn't take the fear forming in his gut everytime he looked at you, dropping his utensils onto the table and grabbing your hand tenderly. “sweetheart, speak to me, please.”

you were hesitant, knowing how much you hated your body, you didn't want to get help. the compliments you got from your friends whenever you lost a couple kilos encouraged you further, taking sips of water and repressing your hunger. the muscle inside you wore away, nutrients lacked, standing up too fast and fainting.

he made sure not to force you into eating disorder recovery, but acknowledging your problems and working on helping your slowly. he placed more food on your plate everyday, talked your through your meals and held you for however long you needed.

you both stood naked infront of the mirror, sat on his lap as he pointed out everything he loved about you (spoiler alert, it was everything) wiping your tears away while cradling you in his arms. “my love, i love you, baby.. you're so gorgeous, i don't understand how you can't see that.”

“you'll always be my sweet girl, you're so perfect - every inch of you, regardless of body weight, measurements and height, you're stunning to me, i can't imagine you any other way apart from with me, i need you, let me help you.”

[archangelarch]

Love Potion

Arthur is depressed and frustrated with yearning and Merlin is fed up with it being taken out on him. So, he decides to use a spell to bring Arthur perfect bliss—which works all too well.

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (& background Gwen/Arthur Pendragon) || Wordcount: 7,034 || Contains: Fluff and Angst, Enchanted Arthur Pendragon, Sexual tension, Unresolved sexual tension, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Pining, Set in series 2

(Part 1 of Tryst)

———

Merlin’s supper was very cold by the time he slugged his way through Gaius’ door. With one look up from his work bench, the physician could guess what had kept him. Merlin was covered head-to-toe in dark soot, his hair sticking up in wild spires and his eyes half-closed. He looked like he might fall dead as he shuffled his way past his cooled stew over to the wash basin. 

“Rough day at work?” Gaius inquired, continuing to pluck dried leaves from a small herb bushel and place them into his mortar. 

Merlin hummed a half-groan in response. He stopped at the basin, and with a beat of pause preceding, he fell forward like a rag-doll into the water with a splash, dunking his entire head. Gaius startled, hopping to his feet with fear he may have to save the boy from drowning, but Merlin quickly shocked and shivered upright, his hair now plastered flat to his head and his top-half dripping wet all over the floor.

“Oh, Merlin, really—” Gaius began to scold, but Merlin barely seemed to notice. He just shook as much water from himself back into the basin with his hands, an ill-achieved target, and huffed in great breaths, no doubt brought a little back to life by the chill. Gaius pursed his lips as Merlin braced himself on the edges of the tub and stared at his own warbling reflection in the now-blackened water. “You look like you’ve had a run in with an angry dragon,” Gaius commented. He set his ingredients down and slowly rounded the table. “Or a forest fire.”

Merlin turned to glance over his shoulder, still not meeting Gaius’ eye, but looking for the first time like he really registered his presence. “I feel it as well,” he croaked.

“Are you alright?”

“Arthur had me sweep out the flue and chimney in his chambers,” Merlin reported sourly instead of answering the question. “He’s never had me do that before, ever. The castle has a chimney sweep.”

“I know, I’ve met him. I had to help unstuck him from one of the flues on his first day.” Gaius leaned to half-sit on the closer edge of the table, watching Merlin's attempts to wash off his face and neck. “Your supper’s on the table.”

“I’m not hungry,” Merlin said in an empty voice, and still leaving a small trail of drips, he sulked off to his room. 

Gaius decided to allow him some space, and with a heave of a sigh, he left his unground herbs as they were and collected up the final medicine deliveries he had for that day, which he had originally intended to have Merlin distribute. Luckily, the walk around the castle and the night air in the courtyard was pleasant and mild, and despite the hour the sun still hadn’t fully nestled below the horizon, its last light drawing tall blue shadows across Camelot. It was then that Gaius realized just how long Merlin had been working that day—dusk til dawn was a lot more substantial in late summer. When Gaius set back to the tower it was with a bit of pity in his heart for his son. 

When he was alone in his room, Merlin kicked out of his boots and shucked off his soot-stained clothes, internally grumbling over how long they would take to clean and how his struggle with his shirt re-smeared his cheeks with ash. Slender as he was, he was far too big and tall to be cleaning a chimney of the size in Arthur’s antechamber, a task made maddeningly more frustrating by constant critique and badgering by the prince, who seemed miraculously to have nothing better to do. He had been buzzing around Merlin like an incessant fly for shy over two weeks by that point, finding plentiful more and worse work to pile onto Merlin’s usual unpleasant load. Worst of all, he never seemed to get any sort of fill from his spectating—normally if Arthur had some particularly unagreeable task for him, whether that simply needed doing or that he had fashioned as some sort of punishment for being annoyed, he would stay by for a round of gloating and then be on his amused way. Merlin hadn’t heard Arthur stifle a chuckle, hadn’t seen his arrogant prattish smile, hadn’t even caught him grinning ever since they’d returned Gwen home safe from Hengist’s capture. Nothing at all seemed to lighten his perpetual rotten mood, and Merlin bore the exhausting, unrelenting brunt of it. 

Giving up with trying to get clean and simply throwing on his nightclothes, Merlin seethed his way over to the loose floorboard by his bedside and pried it violently off, plucking from it the spellbook Gaius had given him. He thumped himself down on the edge of the bed, tempted for only just a second by its soft give to collapse all the way and be done with the day, but fuelled enough by indignance to keep on task. He creaked the heavy cover open and began to leaf through the myriad pages, resolving to hold the book in both hands and magically flip through as with a gust of wind, eyes quickly flitting over each one. He incanted the flutter to a stop when he found the page he was looking for, and began poring over its every detail. 

There were two illustrations on the top of the page: one of a glass vial full of an orangey liquid drawn glowing with gilded radiating lines, and the other of a man dressed in finery carrying a woman in a peasant dress in his arms, both wearing great big smiles and flushed cheeks. The page read: Elixir of bliss. Enchants a subject with feelings of perfect happiness and contentment. It required a few ingredients be distilled in water, most of which he recognized from Gaius’ stores of herbs and medicinal plants, and an enchantment via incantation. Merlin began mumbling the incantation to himself, mouth learning its sounds, as he tried to memorize the list of ingredients. Holy basil, saffron, klamath weed—

Gaius pushed into the room without knocking, making Merlin jump. He was holding the bowl of stew from the table on a tray next to a chunk of bread.

“I know you’re probably tired, Merlin, but you must eat something,” Gaius insisted, pausing once he had steadied himself and the tray enough in the opened door. Merlin had hastily tucked the book behind him on the bed, poorly hidden from Gaius’ keen eye. “What’re you reading?” He noticed the pried up floorboard just after his words left him.

“Nothing,” Merlin replied quickly. “Thank you, Gaius, you can just set the tray there.”

The physician obliged and placed the tray down on the foot of Merlin’s bed as instructed, using the proximity to get an angle on the book. “Learning a spell?”

“No,” Merlin said automatically, then, taking up the book into his lap again in a better attempt to shield it, doubled back. “I mean, yes. Not a particular one, though. Just going through them all, you know, learning in general.”

“That would be awfully studious of you, Merlin,” Gaius offered suspiciously, hovering closer still, and as Merlin tried to discreetly flip to a new page, he quickly shot out a finger to hold the one he’d had open to before, another of his surprising bits of spryness for a man of his age. Gaius shot Merlin a warning look, and defeated, Merlin didn’t fight as Gaius flipped the pages back and scanned the one that he’d been on. 

“A love spell?” Gaius gawked, brows shooting up and then quickly back down into a disappointed furrow. “Oh, Merlin—”

“It isn’t a love spell, it’s a happiness spell,” Merlin countered. “See? ‘Elixir of bliss—’”

“Love spells go by many names, Merlin, and all of them are very bad news. They have nothing to do with real love or genuine emotion—they turn people into pleasant puppets who are too far from their right mind to know better. You have as little right as anybody to use magic to tamper with people’s emotions. Not only is it a completely unnecessary use of magic, it’s entirely inhumane—”

“You have no idea what it’s like with him!” Merlin snapped suddenly, shocked to pause by his own volume and the near sob in his voice. His eyelids fluttered as he gazed into the emptiness of the missing floorboard, and he saw Gaius’ sympathetic exhale in his posture from the corner of his eye more than heard it. The physician clasped his hands in front of him, plucking his words carefully.

“I know your situation with Arthur is difficult in ways I can’t imagine,” Gaius said, a balance of softness and firmness in his tone. “To be underappreciated” —Merlin snorted a bitter laugh at that— “and unseen... it must be torturous at times. But magic is not a tool for moulding others to one’s liking, nor is it fair to Arthur to try and manipulate his feelings. Being his protector comes with—”

“I’m trying to help him!” Merlin insisted, finding his voice again and breaking into a ramble. “He’s been so depressed since he found out about Gwen and Lancelot, and he’s been neglecting himself and his duties and taking out his frustration on everyone else, especially me. He’s been completely ignoring Gwen, which is entirely cruel if you ask me, he nearly got himself killed twice in training with the other knights because he’s been so distracted, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to cover for him to Uther so he can continue moping in his chambers—and despite everything I do for him, the extra lengths I’ve taken to try to cheer him up and be there for him, he’s treated me like a dog! I’m tired of it, Gaius, I’m exhausted, and I’ve tried everything else to lift his spirits. He deserves some relief from his torment as much as I do. I mean—you brew draughts to help Morgana sleep and to help Uther with his shoulder pain, right? How is this really any different?”

Gaius looked very displeased, but he listened patiently before he spoke again. “This is plenty different, and I highly suspect you’re aware of it, despite how you may be trying to convince yourself otherwise. Merlin, I gave you that spell book because I trusted that you would be responsible with it, that you would only use your powers when absolutely necessary and only for the right reasons. Now, while I do trust you have a good heart, you have shown me more than once that you require some guidance, and I am telling you, this is not the way to handle things. I understand you’re feeling frustrated and desperate, but I know how strong you are, and I know you can overcome any challenge without enacting such enchantments on people you care about.” Gaius paused for a few beats, looking down at his feet, before peering up to add, “Have you tried talking with Arthur about his feelings?” 

“Only a thousand times,” Merlin muttered bitterly. “He’s never been exactly forthright with his feelings but now it’s a hundred times worse. Each time I’ve tried he’s shut me down and had me re-wash his laundry or scrub his floors. It seems all he wants is to stare out his bedroom window and think up some new chore for me to do so he can stand by and insult me while I do it.” 

Gaius thought for a moment. “Sounds to me like he’s looking for any excuse to keep your close company.”

Merlin scoffed. “He loathes my company, he tells me that all the time.” 

“If that were really true, Merlin, I think you would have been relieved of your position long ago,” Gaius shifted the supper tray out of the way so he could sit on Merlin’s bed beside him, joining him in staring down into the hole in the floor. “I know Arthur can be prickly with you, but I believe that’s precisely because he feels comfortable with you in a way he feels with no one else. He feels vulnerable with you, and maybe that makes him a bit more hostile on the surface, but he needs someone like that, someone he can be truly emotional with. He needs you, Merlin.”

“He certainly has a funny way of showing it,” Merlin mumbled, setting the spell book aside and pulling his knees up to his chest. Gaius gingerly pushed the book closed and stole a glance at Merlin, seeing plain the great well of jumbled emotions written on his face. In that instant, he perhaps understood why a person would be driven to the use of magic to ease the mental anguish of a loved one in such a way, but still he held fast in his position. 

“If you keep showing Arthur the care you do, one day he will feel secure enough to accept it, and he will be able to see it for what it is,” Gaius said vaguely. Merlin rolled his gaze slowly towards him, brow furrowed, but didn’t say anything. “He’s had his heart broken. Like any injury, it needs time to heal. This irritability of his will pass, and he will be thankful he had a friend at his side as he recovered.” Gaius rested a palm atop the spell book’s cover. “Promise me you won’t use any spell in this book to tamper with anyone’s feelings,” he instructed with a tip of his head and a serious look.

Merlin took a long breath through his nose. “...I promise.” 

“Good.” Gaius patted Merlin affectionately on the shoulder before standing up. “Now eat your supper before it gets cold again.” 

With that, the physician left, and Merlin stayed curled up in a ball of knotted feelings on his bed. When the door was closed between, Merlin incanted to open the book again, directly to the page with the Elixir of Bliss. After a moment of pondering, he went to close the book by hand, only to have his eye caught by his pile of ash-crusted clothes that he would have to wash before he could go to bed. Then, before he closed it, he very swiftly and carefully tore the page out.

“No spell in the book...” he whispered to himself, then returned the volume to its place under the floor, replaced the board, and folded the torn page to tuck it into his sock, once again leaving his food untouched.

The next day was as gruelling as the last. Merlin, despite his bone-tiredness, reported early to Arthur, and even though he was there and already laying out his clothes and re-polishing his chainmail when Arthur woke up, he immediately bit into him about his sword not being sharpened, despite having not used it since Merlin had done so the week prior. He did his best to grin and bear it through two meals, lots of Arthur moping about his chambers with brief breaks to wander the castle halls like a ghost, during one of which he had to lie to Sir Leon when he came to fetch him for training, and countless poison-soaked jabs. 

Merlin had found a spare moment to sneak the last few ingredients for the elixir from the kitchens and waited until suppertime to deploy it, knowing he would need wine to mask the taste and colour of it in order to get Arthur to drink it. He thanked the kitchen maid who came to deliver Arthur’s supper to his chambers, taking it and serving it at Arthur’s dining table by the fire. One glance at the flue had him more decided than ever about his plan as he felt the weight of the vial hidden in his pocket. 

“Oh, surprise surprise, chicken again,” Arthur fussed, peering at the food with narrowed eyes, having roused himself from his window-gazing stupor. “Bet it’s as dry as ever as well.” 

“I can go ask the kitchen for something else, if you like, sire,” Merlin offered, his chipperness coming more easily as his plan came together, standing attentively by. Arthur waved off the suggestion as he trudged over to the table and deposited himself in the chair, head hung. He looked over the contents of the plate, eyes glazed. His cheeks held a bit of golden scruff that shone amber in the candlelight, shaving a neglected one of his daily tasks that Arthur had never allowed Merlin to take up, citing his clumsiness. It was remarkable to Merlin how much older a bit of beard made him look, and how it might’ve even made him look more distinguished, if the rest of him wasn’t so rumpled and miserable. 

“Are you going to pour me a glass of wine, or would you rather have me choke on this brittle excuse for meat?” Arthur asked venomously, glaring up at Merlin without picking up his head.

“Of course, sire,” Merlin chimed, reaching for Arthur’s goblet, only to have it slip from his grasp just when it crossed the boundary of the table, clattering loudly on the floor. “Oops,” Merlin feigned, and stooped down to retrieve it.

“Good Lord, Merlin, I’d say you’d be fit to be a horse for all your frequent dropping, but at least a horse is good for something.” Arthur chided, and as he did, Merlin discreetly took out the vial from his pocket.

“I don’t think I have the legs to be a horse, my lord,” Merlin replied, swirling the vial a little. Then, as discreetly as he could, he whispered the incantation. He had to shield the vial with his hand as it began to glow orange like the setting sun, praying Arthur wouldn’t notice.

“No, you don’t. I’ve seen foals steadier on their feet than you. And what the hell are you doing down there?” 

Quickly Merlin poured the elixir, marvelling a little at how the glow left it and the liquid returned to clear as it filled the bottom of the goblet. He rose hastily back to his feet before Arthur could duck his head below the table, goblet in hand. “Sorry.” 

Arthur grumbled wordlessly and set to squashing his peas and potatoes into a grey-green slurry as Merlin took up the decanter and poured the gobletful of wine. He slid it across the table to Arthur with a little bow of the head, which the prince met with a sneer. Merlin watched intently as he went to take a sip, only to pause with the cup held in mid-air.

“Perhaps I’ll go hunting tomorrow. Bring home something better to eat than chicken.” 

Merlin was genuinely taken aback, lips stuck parted. That was the first bit of motivated talk he had spoken in weeks, and something genuine returned to the fever of despondency that had settled over him like cobwebs. Merlin felt a hopeful chord struck in his heart at that, and right next to it a guilty one. A sinking feeling came over him like the pitch of looking down a great height, and the memory of hedges and a cold beach and Arthur holding a very similar cup squeezed all the air out of him. As Arthur brought the drink to his lips, Merlin began to panic, and nearly lunged across the table to swat the goblet from his hand, but was stopped at a mere flinch when Arthur drew it away again to speak. 

“Then again, perhaps not. Toting a clumsy idiot like you, I doubt we’d catch a thing. Honestly, Merlin, sometimes I believe you’d die if left to your own devices without my help.” 

Your help? Merlin scorned behind pressed lips, wishing by a very quick heel turn for the relief of shouted outrage, but held his tongue. Because of that, the conflict drained from him, and he continued holding it while Arthur drank deep of his wine. After a moment, the prince smacked his lips, narrowing his gaze as he inspected the drink.

“This wine tastes different,” he commented, swirling it around some and giving it a sniff, peering around into nothing as he considered it.

“It’s from a new batch,” Merlin bluffed, barely keeping his temper, but managing in his curiosity as he watched Arthur’s every move carefully. With an exaggerated frown and another deep sniff, Arthur took a very short sip, keeping it in his mouth. Merlin held his breath. Arthur swallowed.

“It’s quite good,” Arthur said, following with another long sip, humming his satisfaction into the cup. 

Merlin blinked. “You think so?” 

Arthur made a loud refreshed gasp. “Very much so.” When he turned his gaze again on his servant, his posture was looser, no longer hunched, facing him fully, and he even smiled at Merlin, pleasant as sunlight. “You should try some,” Arthur encouraged, and then further to Merlin’s surprise, he held his goblet out towards him with a little nod.

Merlin hiccuped a nervous laugh and held up his hands, a little warm in his surprise. “Oh, no, sire, I—I couldn’t. Please, drink up.” 

Arthur gave a small shrug and brought the cup back to drain it, again letting out a little contented moan and grinning. Merlin grinned along with him, relief and pride in himself opening like a flower. It had been so long since he had seen Arthur smile. 

“You know, on second thought, maybe I will go hunting tomorrow,” Arthur said, taking up his fork and digging into his supper, taking a hearty chunk of chicken along with his slurry and stuffing his mouth full. “The knights always love a good hunt. And some of the smaller forest boars are slow and dumb, we should have a decent chance to haul one in.”

Merlin waited for the inevitable comparison as the invocation of dumb, but none came. Arthur continued chewing, digging up another bite, without any complaints about the food or the temperature of the room or Merlin’s idle presence at all. It was a genuine marvel, and Merlin couldn’t help but stare. When Arthur noticed him he slowed his chew, raising his eyebrows and cocking his head a bit to the side. 

“What?” he inquired. “Do I have something on my face?” 

“No,” Merlin huffed through a smile. “No, it’s just... well, you seem in better spirits all of a sudden.” 

“I feel in better spirits,” Arthur replied, eyelids fluttering a little with a look as satisfaction passed over his face as savoured another bite. “You’ll have to give my highest compliments to the cooks, because this is just delightful.”

Merlin couldn’t recall Arthur ever enjoying food beyond simple approval, or ever describing something as delightful, but his tone sounded to Merlin’s ear entirely sincere. 

“I’ll be sure to,” Merlin assured. 

The difference was like night and day. To everyone else, it seemed the next day that Arthur had just woken up on the right side of the bed, and they were all too relieved to question his sudden change of heart. Despite Merlin’s valiant attempts to cover for him, Uther had taken notice of Arthur’s gloom, and none were happier than he to see the prince invigorated and back to his usual duties. Merlin even watched Arthur say good morning to Gwen, who looked for a moment like she was seeing a ghost, but managed a pleasant return before they passed each other in the corridor. Catching Gwen’s smile was nearly better than having Arthur perfectly content, and Merlin grinned back at her with a little thumbs up. The only regret he carried was not thinking to use the spell sooner. 

While Merlin still would rather be doing nearly anything but hunting, it was like a vacation compared to the last weeks. Arthur joked with the knights, and while they only managed to snare a few rabbits, the prince’s mood was dampened none. And through it all, not a single insult or bully or tease to amuse himself or the knights. In Merlin’s wildest dreams, he never imagined hunting with Arthur could be pleasant.

He was so caught up in this euphoria that he barely noticed Arthur fall off his horse until one of the knights gave a shout. He hopped off his own with Sir Leon and rushed to his side, immediately dreading he’d been struck by some unseen archer, but when they reached him, Arthur was chuckling, half crushing a shrub. 

“I fell,” he laughed. Leon had reached him first and helped him back to his feet. 

Merlin sighed his relief. “Seems you did. Are you alright?” 

“Right as rain,” chimed Arthur. Before Leon let go of his arm, he frowned and reached up a gloved hand to Arthur’s shoulder, pulling his hand back to inspect it.

“You’re bleeding, sire,” informed Leon. 

“Let me see,” said Merlin, drawing close and all but pushing Leon out of the way. Arthur moved pliantly as Merlin angled him towards the sunlight to inspect his shoulder. There were some thin limbs from the crushed shrub stuck into his chainmail and pauldron, and as Merlin picked them out in search of a wound, one of them offered resistance. Arthur hissed in sharp pain before dissolving back to giggles. 

“I think that one’s in me,” he said, grinning. Merlin frowned, worry chewing on him. 

“I should get him back to Gaius,” insisted Merlin, glancing at Leon. 

“I feel fine,” said Arthur, but there was no argument in his words, just a simple fact.

“He may have hit his head on the way down,” continued Merlin, guiding Arthur back to his horse. Leon nodded and assured he’d finish up with the party and Merlin helped Arthur mount and instructed him to follow back to the citadel, which Arthur did without a word of protest. 

Merlin stood nervously by while Gaius performed some tests on the patched-up prince. The limb that had stabbed into his shoulder luckily hadn’t gone deep, just at a tricky angle, but Gaius warned that it could have just as easily pierced his neck, as Merlin already well knew. Arthur seemed entirely unbothered by the whole ordeal, following instructions and meeting Merlin’s every worried glance with a cheerful grin. 

Though he didn’t show it, Merlin knew Gaius knew practically from the moment they walked in the door. 

Gaius could find no evidence of a head injury, and though he told him to take it easy on the shoulder for a few days while his injury healed, gave him a clean bill of health. Arthur thanked him and hopped up from his stool and made his way towards the door out of Gaius’ chambers. Merlin tried to discreetly follow him, but Gaius stopped him with a look that made Merlin’s heave in a breath. 

“He’s very lucky,” Gaius told Merlin in a low voice. “It’s a small but painful wound, no doubt. And still, he seems rather blissful about the whole ordeal.” 

Merlin shrugged. “Arthur’s a tough guy.” 

“He could have been much more seriously hurt. He’s been riding since he was a child—he isn’t the type to just fall off his horse. There’s nothing medically wrong with him, but—” 

“Guess we’ll have to count our blessings then,” Merlin cut in. Gaius looked utterly disappointed, and his small sigh was like a sack of flour on each of Merlin’s shoulders. Before either of them could say another word, a singsong voice drifted down the corridor. 

“Mer-lin!” called Arthur, filling the syllables with more delight than the warlock had ever heard him put into them. With a sheepish smile, Merlin sidled past Gaius and hurried after the prince. 

Merlin couldn’t help but indulge in Arthur’s good mood, despite his lingering guilt. The next days were like a dream, one that was interrupted by the tension when he came home in the evening. Gaius barely spoke to him, and that alone was enough to keep Merlin awake at night, near sick with doubt. But the time the sun rose and Arthur bid him good morning, though, all of that was washed from him, and he found an unmatched solace basking in Arthur’s happiness. 

When Merlin was drawing a bath, Arthur was lingering by his chamber window, quieter than he had been all day. Merlin spied him curiously.

“Something on your mind, sire?” 

Arthur turned to him, arms crossed and stance wide. “There is, now that you mention it.” 

“Anything you’d like to talk about?” asked Merlin.

“Alright,” said Arthur, without a scrap of hesitation. “I’ve been thinking about Guinevere.” 

Merlin couldn’t suppress his smile. “What about her?” 

“She’s just so dreamy.” Hearing Arthur use the word dreamy was as jarring as hearing him say delightful and sublime , all words Merlin hadn’t known were in Arthur’s vocabulary, but Merlin refused to let that distract him. “She’s sweet, and brilliant, and she smells wonderful, and she might very well be the most gorgeous woman in all of Camelot.” 

Arthur had never been so forthcoming with his feelings about Gwen, and Merlin was nearly beaming with excitement as he finished filling the bath and checked the temperature. “You think so?” he encouraged.

“Indeed I do,” Arthur said, cocking his head to the side. 

Merlin took a bolder step. “Do you think you’ll tell her that?” 

Arthur considered for a short pause. “Yes, I think I will.” 

“Wait, Arthur—” Merlin started, then cleared his throat as Arthur turned back from his path to the door, catching himself and reining in his surprise. “Sire, perhaps you should bathe before going to talk with Gwen.” 

Arthur nodded and smiled. “Good thinking, Merlin,” he said, and Merlin melted at the praise—another of the recent treats Merlin had become a glutton for. 

While he was basking, he hardly noticed Arthur beginning to strip for his bath right where he stood, not bothering with his changing screen, and only just looked away before Arthur pulled his breeches off, sweet warmth boiling to abashed heat. He went so far as to shield his face with a hand to avoid stealing a glance at the prince. Arthur had allowed a lot of little things he wouldn’t have before over the past few days—letting Merlin take breaks throughout the day, carrying his own pack, even giving him an evening off—but Arthur had always been strict with bathing etiquette, and Merlin dared not approach the crossing of that line. 

Merlin kept his gaze on the floor as Arthur strode uncovered over to the bath and settled into it, not a lick of discomfort or shame about him, standing and bowing a little.

“Sire,” he dismissed, then hastily turned to take up his place in Arthur’s antechamber and wait for him to be done washing to dress him and empty the bath, as he always did. 

He froze when Arthur called him back.

“Merlin,” he beckoned, as easy and natural as a scrap of birdsong. As he relaxed in the warm bath waters, his voice was looser, and his name came out almost like a moan on Arthur’s breath. Merlin could feel all the heat in his body rushing to a single point and felt a little dizzy. 

“Yes, my lord?” Merlin asked, suddenly shy, without turning around. He reprimanded himself for the way the grunt of pain he heard accompanying a stir of the bathwater behind him made his heart flutter with something other than concern. “Is it your shoulder?” 

“I’m not sure,” said Arthur, sounding puzzled as he shifted again with a melody of little splashes. “I know this may sound strange, but that part of me feels... not entirely good. Is that mad?” 

Guilt prickled in Merlin’s belly. “You’re injured, sire. It’s normal for it to hurt.” Arthur didn’t respond, and Merlin grew worried. “Can... may I inspect it for you, to ensure it’s healing properly?” 

“Of course, Merlin.” 

Trying not to think about how Arthur had never sounded so compliant and how he was nude in the bath and seemingly unfazed by either thing, Merlin knelt at the side of the bath. He was careful to stay positioned just so at Arthur’s back to keep his eyes and his intimate areas blocked, which was hard with how Arthur was lounging with his arms and knees wide.

“Sit up,” said Merlin, a thoughtless instruction, but was taken aback again by how quickly Arthur followed his order. He looked over the series of small scratches and bruises mottling Arthur’s left shoulder, all scabbed by that point, even the nastier centrepiece where he had been pierced. 

“Nothing looks infected and it’s healing well,” mumbled Merlin, his gaze slipping a little down the hard swells and curves of Arthur’s back, connecting the other marks on his skin, old and fresh scars, like constellations. “You should be back to training in a few more days.” 

“Lovely,” Arthur said happily. “Thank you, Merlin.” 

That turned Merlin to a statue in place. All the confused feelings in him were swirled around as he was flooded with something that made his whole body feel impossibly light and heavy all at once. He swallowed hard.

“You’re welcome, Arthur.”  

When Arthur said nothing further, Merlin got unsteadily to his feet and hurried out of the room with a bow Arthur didn’t see. In the antechamber, he held his burning face in his hands and tried to calm down the various excited parts of his body. 

It wasn’t just falling off the horse. Merlin had kept a closer eye on Arthur after that, and though he convinced himself it was just the run-of-the-mill saving of Arthur’s life he always did, there were undoubtedly more close calls. When Arthur was nearly trampled by a runaway horse and cart while he and Merlin were passing through the Lower Towns, waving it off with a chuckle, Merlin’s worry began to tip his internal scales. He’d been sure to learn the counter-spell to undo the effects of the Elixir of Bliss, but he had continually convinced himself to allow just one more day before he used it, just a few more moments of this pleasant dream of an Arthur who never yelled or insulted him and even thanked him. But this Arthur felt increasingly like a stranger to him, and Merlin knew more and more surely that Gaius had been right. As sweet as it was, all dreams had to end. 

It was after Gwen had pulled Merlin aside to ask if he’d noticed Arthur acting off that he made the decision to undo the spell. She was more than a little worried, but she was also clearly uncomfortable, and confided in Merlin that while she appreciated that Arthur had stopped giving her the cold shoulder, his bold compliments and little gifts (which she had assumed were meant as compensation) were becoming too much, and when she tried to explain to him why he had to stop, he just didn’t seem to understand. 

“It’s like he’s forgotten he’s the prince of Camelot,” she had told him, chewing on her lip. “He was never like this before—he was always so respectful and careful. He knows why we can’t be together, not like that, but now... he just smiles and tells me that there’s nothing to worry about. I’m afraid he’s going to try something really stupid. Please, Merlin, can you try to talk some sense into him?” 

Merlin assured her he would and got to work right away on the potion for the counter-spell. 

That night at dinner, it was entirely too easy to distract Arthur by telling him there was an interesting bird on the windowsill for Merlin’s liking, and he was resigned to the fact that it was good he was the one sneaking something into Arthur’s wine and not someone who actually wanted to do him harm. As he mumbled the incantation and discreetly poured the counter-elixir while Arthur was still leaning and staring at the window, he marinated in his guilt. In the back of his mind, he thought about how he would have to find some way to make it up to Gaius for being right from the start.

“I don’t see it,” said Arthur, squinting hard and beginning to rise from his chair. “It’s really purple?”

“It, uh, might’ve been a trick of the light,” fibbed Merlin, settling Arthur back down into his chair. “Either way, it must’ve flown off. Here, sire—drink up.” 

Arthur shrugged and did as he was told, taking up the goblet. Merlin was going to miss that obedience, but he knew it was a purely selfish indulgence. Their fingers brushed as Arthur took the cup from him and Merlin shivered, rising a tint warmer. Arthur tipped the goblet and his head to Merlin with a big smile that showed off his teeth—a feature Merlin had also selfishly taken to admiring as Arthur had shown them off more.

“Cheers,” he said, and put the goblet to his lips.

Merlin sighed a heavy breath, allowing a moment to wallow in his disappointment, but was interrupted by Arthur drawing the cup away again to speak.

“You know, Merlin,” he started, drumming his fingers once on the table and holding the warlock fast in with his calm blue gaze. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever known before. While I can’t imagine my life being anything other than perfect, I think you’re one of the things that makes it as good as it is.” Arthur blinked slowly, eyes crinkled with a fond grin as he pored over Merlin’s face. “I’ve always thought very highly of you. I’m glad to have a friend like you.” 

As Arthur went to take a sip, Merlin shot out a hand and covered the top of the goblet, and his lips connected with Merlin’s knuckle. Unbothered but curious, Arthur looked back up as his servant, whose shoulders were heaving and who was flushed down into his neckerchief. 

“What is it?” asked Arthur with no alarm at all. Merlin felt like he was tumbling down a hill, unable to stop himself as the feeling of Arthur’s lips lingered on his skin like a hot iron brand. “What is it, Merlin?” 

With throat suddenly dry, Merlin could barely speak, his words creaking out of him. “Is... there... anything else?” 

“What do you mean?”

Merlin bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. He knew it was selfish. He knew it wasn’t right. He couldn’t be sure they were even Arthur’s words, they could well be nothing more than the enchantment talking, but they had sounded so genuine. Merlin couldn’t bear the thought of the opportunity slipping through his hands if there was any chance that Arthur might be offering him some as yet unspoken truth. 

“Is there anything else you want to say to me?” asked Merlin, almost whispering. 

Arthur slowly set his goblet down on the table and Merlin withdrew his hand. The prince narrowed his eyes. “Are you alright?” he asked, confused but not sounding worried. “You don’t look happy.” 

That nearly took Merlin’s knees out. He wanted so badly to tell him he wasn’t and all of the reasons why, unburden every tremendous pain and secret he toted each and every day as he followed Arthur around, but he knew he couldn’t. 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” assured Merlin, forcing a smile to cover up the quiet sob in his tone. “Sorry. It’s nothing—I’m fine. Eat your dinner.” 

Arthur watched him for a moment longer, shrugged, and dug into his food. Merlin watched him, standing dutifully at his side as he always did, and blinked away a mist of tears. Arthur washed down a large and rather unprincely bite with a big swig of wine, and once he had he blinked a little, going back for another sip. He tilted his jaw from side to side as he held it in his mouth, considering. 

“Is this another new batch of wine?” he asked.

“Yeah,” muttered Merlin, and then remembering himself and standing up straighter, amended, “yes, sire.” 

Arthur’s face slowly twisted and he wrinkled his nose. “A real step down from the last one. And why’s the wine being changed so much? I like our usual stuff.” 

Merlin made himself take a deep breath before answering. “I don’t know, my lord.” 

“Well, next time, Merlin, be sure to get the good wine, alright?” 

Merlin nodded and Arthur went on eating without further comment. When he picked up his drumstick, he took a glance Merlin’s way, but didn’t linger. “You can go.” 

Merlin faltered. “I... can?” 

“We’ll you’ve finished all of today’s work, haven’t you?” said Arthur, the draw of his brow pulling tighter as he rolled his neck and rubbed at his shoulder with a little wince. 

“Don’t touch it,” Merlin reprimanded lightly, a reflex. “It’s still healing.”

“I know that, Mer lin, I’m not a child,” snapped Arthur. The pain seemed to have crept back into his awareness, and as he tried to hide it he looked much more like himself than he had before. That gave Merlin a strange sort of relief, and all he could do for a moment was watch Arthur settle back into himself. Without looking up again as he picked at his food, Arthur added, “If you’re so eager to stick around, though, you can clean my boots—seems you’ve been slacking on that this week.”  

Merlin pressed his lips for a moment and piped up when Arthur looked at him again with eyebrows raised and mouth curled in a little confused sneer. “Sire, about these past few days...”

“What about them?” 

Merlin looked into Arthur’s eyes and saw the countless layers there, the reservation and poise in his little movements, the emotion he could never fully hide from anyone (least of all from Merlin), and his question was answered without him having to ask it. “Nothing. Nevermind.” 

Arthur frowned before returning to his dinner. “You’re acting very strange, Merlin. Are you sure you’re alright?” 

There was just a touch of worry there, a single leaf upsetting a rippled through a pond of other things, one that Arthur hadn’t shown in weeks in both his hazes of sulk or bliss—concern for Merlin. That made him smile ever-so-gently. 

“Yeah. Everything’s alright.” 

[theagstd]

One Night Stand ; 29

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to overs | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter twenty nine ; wc | 5.5 k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

Jungkook deeply exhales when he sees you flinch at his loud tone, he didn't mean to yell at you. he practiced breathing to calm him down before he knocked on your door so he wouldn't let any of his anger get on you. he was concerned for you, you're not supposed to lift any heavy weight but you didn't pay heed to his words.

he sighs, his fingers rub the wrinkles off his forehead so he wouldn't look any scarier than he already sounded. he could see your view from the corner of his eyes, how you frowned at him with a growing pout on your lips. you pushed the suitcase away slowly then proceeded to speak lowly, "You did not have to yell at me.."

your voice trailed when you murmured under your breath, Jungkook felt guilty, he'd never yelled at you in a long time and not lately, considering how close you two have gotten. "I know..." he reaches you and looks at your face, while your eyes look down at the ground. "I know, I know, I know. I- I didn't mean to raise my voice at you, it was an accident."

he tries to look for any signs in your expressions if things have gotten worse or he messed up but then your eyes flicker to his and then your fingers, which play with his. "well then apologize to us." he frowns and tilts his head at the word 'us' and looks around the room. "is... there someone else here?" his eyes desperately look for a person, who he wasn't aware of. 'who could be here with you?' "of course. it's not just the two of us here."

you watch how he looks super confused, his curious eyes search in yours only for you to point at your bump. "apologies to us." you mutter and he breaks into a small smile before his bunny teeth flash out. 'oh, he looks adorable!' you think.

"right... I'm sorry you two. I didn't mean to raise my voice or use those words. it was a mistake." he tightened his lips together, bringing out his little dimples that you're completely in love with. "we forgive you although the apology was too basic and could be upgraded with a Nutella souffle that I saw on TikTok, I still accept it."

your hands reach his neck, as they wrap around him while he reaches your waist. "since when do you talk on behalf of two?" "Since...now?" your fingers push the hair that's on his forehead away, they're pretty long and you love it. there's a lot in him that you love and you're waiting for a good day to let him know about it, in detail with not just your words but your actions too.

"yeah?" his fingers draw circles on your waist, he likes this outfit. The pretty little pink dress that stops above your knees. "you look cute today."

he takes this as an opportunity to compliment you, you're close to him, both of you watching each other's eyes, it's too good to be true. "today? don't I look cute every day?" there, he thinks. you're confident and have always been, it's a part of your personality that makes you who you are and it's the best about you too.

you rarely feel insecure and even if you do, you always make sure to not show it. you find ways to cope with it and then overcome it. being pregnant makes you question yourself sometimes, with all the changes in your body but you're looking gorgeous, you carry that bump like a queen. being confident is a lifestyle and you've adapted it years ago.

"you don't." he says, that lets you raise an eyebrow, almost like a threat. like, 'Say that again.' he giggles. he admires your arrogance when it comes to your looks. he'd been with many girls and he knew that if he said these exact words to them, they would pout and show how sad they were, be a pick-me and question him with that annoying child voice. but the girl boss in you, you don't show a little bit of that to him.

"you're hot, darling." you smirk and nod like you knew it before. "I'd like to stay that way." "Nah, I prefer you-" he bops your nose and pinches your cheek before he continues. "cute" his hands leave your waist as yours leave his neck, and Jungkook gets back to collect your suitcases and takes them out at the door.

"got everything you need?" you look around again and nod in eager. "wait here, I'll check around." "don't trust me?" "just to be sure." he walks inside and checks each room, and he returns with an unsealed back of trail mix. "and she said she got everything."

"Hey, I forgot about this." you grab it from his hand and pop a few dried cranberries into your mouth as you walk beside him to the elevator. you're excited to see Bam, to go back to that house. it was empty, you agree but it's still his home and it's got bits and pieces of him that make you feel closer to Jungkook.

back a month ago when you stayed at his place it was just a sort of security to you, it wasn't anything like now. now it's different, there's a feeling to it, emotions are involving now. Being in his personal space and seeing him in his natural environment is both exciting and calming.

you're finally gonna see him in his casuals and it just gives you a feeling of.. something you can't describe yet. he loads the bags into the car and then takes the driver's while you sit beside him. "wanna take control of the music?"

he asks you with sparkling eyes. you nod and connect your Spotify. the drive is quiet, you look out the window while he focuses on the road, and the both of you take secret glances at each other and hide the smile.

however, Jungkook still can't get his mind off from how his day passed. it was a mess, with Yoongi and the almost hassle at your place. but what irritates him more is the whole matter with the older he had at his office. he doesn't want to refer to him as Hyung anymore, he'd stopped doing that years ago and refers to the man as Mr Min.

but everything that he said is taking a huge part of Jungkook's head and it's reluctantly showing on his face, which you grasped when you glanced over at him. "is something troubling your mind?" his eyes flick to yours and then the busy road, he puts on a smile with a shake of his head.

"nothing at all. maybe what happened at your place." you know that it can't be that silly, he never yelled at you before too so it has to be something else that's bothering him. you wanted him to be open to you, you would love to be part of his thoughts, so he can share and not devour them.

but you're also afraid of coming across as pressuring or too nosy about his business. so you let it slide away, Maybe once you two have reached a more solid stage, you could ask him to share his thoughts with you.

-

Hoseok has had enough of keeping things in his mind, he's been feeling down the past few months and if that wasn't enough, overhearing the gossip of the ladies had successfully managed to leave an imprint in his mind.

he'd been feeling worse than he did before. he paces back and forth in the middle of his living room trying to find ways to contact you, you don't respond to his texts, you barely open them but calling you would be too intrusive. he'd got his phone in hand, staring at the screen as the clock ticks by each second.

it's troubling his mind and he just wants to know if any of them were speaking the truth. He doesn't know what to believe anymore. His eyes or his ears? He finds both of them unrealistic, or maybe he just doesn't want to think it's possible. The conflicting information swirls in his mind, making him question his reality.

his doubtful mind needs some relief but why does he feel this way? he doesn't think it's right to feel this- he shouldn't be feeling anything at all in fact. You're just his colleague, that's it. the line was drawn long ago.

poor Hoseok manages to take a seat on the couch as he looks out the window, the darkness of the streets and the dimness of the moonlight, allow him to deeply sigh. he knows this isn't a good sign. this isn't like him, he knows himself and he knows that he's making a big mistake but just feeling...

-

"the house is too quiet.. is Bam asleep?" you whisper asking Jungkook as he pushes the entrance door and turns to face you. "he just didn't hear your voice yet." "Can I call his name out?" you ask, curiously.

your eyes wait for a reaction of approval which Jungkook gives with a smile. "I never stopped you." he says as he waits for you to take out his puppy's name. "Bam-i?" you say his name out louder and immediately a bark follows, the pup runs towards you and begins dancing around, showing his moves that speak his happiness and welcome for you.

"aww, hi Bam-i, it's been long." you bend down to carry the little one in your arms, he's getting bigger and heavier since the first time you met him. the little boy's eyes were large, perfectly round and wide. he had innocence in them, love in depth and it would melt your heart whenever you meet his gaze.

now the pup is bigger, his eyes hold courage, confidence and bravery in them. Jungkook takes his time as he watches his favorite two have their little welcoming session that is too endearing to him. "if you two are done, y/n shall we get you to your room? it's quite late." you nod at his words and put Bam down after peppering him with kisses and lovely compliments.

Jungkook helps with the luggage and guides you to the room like it's your first time being here. It's the first time being here since things have become more intimate and comfortable. You walked out during a heated argument when you were both in a phase of strong dislike, but things have improved significantly since then.

which was something neither of you had ever imagined. "there there, back to your room huh." Jungkook says as he places the suitcases near your bed and dusts his pants before turning to face you. you look at him confusedly with a tilt in your head.

"back to my room?" "yeah, this became your room the first day you entered here. in fact, I didn't make any changes to it. I left it the way you did." he says, since you rearranged the furniture to make the place more comfortable when you moved in a few months ago. a soft smile decorates your place as you grow closer to him.

"thanks Jungkook." you whisper and he frowns, he feels slightly surprised at your thanks and doesn't want you to feel like he's doing this as a part of his duties. "for not changing the furniture back to its original place, I didn't like the couch being too close to the bed."

you say and he chuckles nervously, he'd assumed you were gonna go into a different direction but it was about the couch. He didn't think you had good humor. "you're a good actress huh." he mutters when your fake pout changes into a devil smile after you catch him looking worried about your thank you. he takes two steps forward, leaving just a few inches between the two of you. "I'm good at everything."

you whisper, your eyes looking everywhere except his, just to tease him. "yeah?" he grabs your hand and pulls you to cut the inches, your eyes gaze at him so does he, a smirk pasted on his face. his face leans towards yours just to place a kiss on your forehead. your eyes close at the warmth of his pretty lips on your skin as you breathe in his scent.

he looks down at you with a gentle smile and asks, "What would you like for dinner?" you press your lips together, biting your inner cheek as you think. "mmmm." "mmm." he repeats as he waits for your answer. "your pasta."

"pasta again?" his eyebrows raise, and he thinks how you could eat the same food over and over again. "yeah... it's all I can think of!" "you know that I can make anything, don't hesitate." you look down and twirl side to side slowly with a pout. "I know but... I really wanna eat your handmade one." he smiles and nods.

"alright, I'll get started on it. meanwhile, change into your PJs. I'll bring the food up to your room-" "But you said no eating inside the bedroom." you remember what the man said the very first few days when he'd prepared dinner for you.

he chuckles and cups your face. 'oh he's so warm!' you think. "that was way before, things have changed okay. I just want you to be comfortable." he murmurs and you giggle like a child. he can't take it anymore, the sound of it is just everything he wants to hear every day.

he can feel your cheeks in his palms, he's so happy that you're all healthy now unlike the time you found out about your pregnancy. now he can feel the puffiness of your cheeks yet your features remain slim like your nose. he'd heard about the pregnancy nose before but he doesn't see it in you.

all you've got is some beautiful apple cheeks that grow when you smile and bring this glow to your face that makes him go crazy. you look the same as the first night he met you, just with a bump and some cheeks decorating you, it's only made you look cuter.

"okay!" your voice gets high pitched and childish, he bites back another cheeky smile so he could leave and make your dinner, you've got this effect on him. he just wants to stay around you and be beside you as much as he can.

-

"you never pick up my calls y/n, what's keeping you this busy? this isn't like you." your mother has been whining for the past 10 minutes and all you've been doing is keeping quiet. you're at fault, you won't deny that. it's been weeks since you last answered your mother's phone calls and you're fully aware that she worries a lot;

you've just been adding to her already anxious state. "Mom... but I'm okay-" you speak softly, feeling guilty for keeping her in the dark about all the new additions in your life, which your parents have to know, they have all the right to know what's going on with your life especially since you're not alone now, you carry their grandchild.

"okay? you can be okay but I'm not. I won't tolerate this behavior from you anymore! I've always given you personal space but when you don't care about your parents, I might have to interfere." you can hear the urgency and panic in her voice, your sweet mother is furious at you and she has to be, you never responded to her in weeks, she's bound to feel mad.

"all you have to do is answer my calls, I only call you once a week y/n. if you don't have the time for your mother... I don't know-" her voice trails, it carries disappointment. your poor mother is always filled with emotions, she's your sun and moon, and her voice carries happiness, joy, pride and care for you but today, she's null.

"hey Mom... I'm sorry. I really am." your tone gets low with your speech slow. she doesn't deserve this treatment, you're her only child. Jungkook raises his palm to knock on your door but then sees you seated on the bed changed into a pretty pink pajama, but with a change in expression. this wasn't how he'd left your room, you were cheery and excited in each feature of your face.

but now, your fingers draw invisible patterns on the bedsheets, and a tiny sulk decorates your features as you look blankly at your unseen drawings. he notices the phone near your ear and doesn't want to intrude so he walks towards your nightstand so he can place your bowl of pasta. it distracts you as your eyes meet his,

he shows you a palm as a sign to go on with your conversation and he attempts to leave your room but your palm catches his wrists stopping his further tracks. he turns to you and sees you mouthing 'stay.' he nods and takes a seat on the edge of the bed, a distance between the two of you since he wanted to give you space until you've done speaking to the unknown.

"how's dad?" you question and receive no response from the other line, which makes you sadder. your fingers now move to cradle your bump, and you sit cross-legged so your bump fits perfectly under the sheets. Jungkook is now aware that you're speaking to your parents so he grabs his phone from his sweatpants and scrolls through his emails until you're done.

he's glad that he fed Bam and cleaned the kitchen before coming to your room, he had his share of pasta while he was cooking so he's sufficiently full. "Mom...just tell me." you whine and she huffs before you hear your father's voice. "I'm fine Honey, was worried about you."

the sound of your father's disheartened tone makes your day worse, you hum instead and then hear your mom say. "if you're sorry, will you call me at least once a week?" "yes Mom, I will! - I will call you tomorrow. I'm sorry." You mutter quickly, feeling relieved that you've been allowed to apologize. "I'll talk to you tomorrow Mom."

you linger for sometime until you hear her say a soft "okay..." you decline the call and keep the phone away, cradling your bump as you watch it. "everything okay?" Jungkook asks as he places his phone back inside the pocket of his grey sweatpants. you meet his curious gaze and nod, giving him a half smile. he gets closer and bends his head to see your face that's been looking down for quite some time now.

"hey? you can talk to me yeah." he says and takes your hand to caress it with his thumb. "what's wrong?" you see him looking at you with those eyes that make you want to give in. "it's just mom, I don't wanna talk about it." you murmur and he picks up the quiver in your voice, so he doesn't force it from you. "okay." he huffs and tugs your palm gently.

"wanna have some pasta?" your quick nod makes him chuckle so he grabs the bowl and brings it closer to you. "there you go! Pesto alla Genovese." you grab the fork and place a few penne into your mouth. they burst from flavors of meat and onions, just the way you like them. you moan at the taste of it, which brings out a little smile from him.

"you like that?" "Mm-hmm." you mumble and poke more penne from the fork to fill your mouth with it. Jungkook passes the bowl to you and gestures for you to wait, with his index finger. he gets on his feet and walks out of your room only to come back with another serving bowl. your forehead creases and your chewing slows down as he grows closer to you with the bowl hidden behind him.

"I may have experimented and I hope you like it." he begins as he sits beside you and hands you a bowl of Nutella souffle. your eyes light up and you gulp down the pasta in two bites. "hey hey, this won't fly away. calm down bear."

"you don't understand, it's a souffle!" you try to swallow the rest of the food that's filled up inside your mouth. he tries hard to not laugh at your antics but eventually gives in when you open your palms for the mini casserole dish that he'd made it in. "I didn't have a Ramekin so I had to find a substitute and this dish was the closest to it."

he says as he passes you the gold spoon to crack the top of the dessert. "you've got to have a souffle when it's warm, it doesn't taste the best after a few minutes." you educate him and his lips form an 'o' shape, his thoughts tell him that he surely messed this up since he prepared it a while ago. "i- don't think you should have this then. I'll make you a fresh one, I've got some batter left-"

he tries to stop you from trying it, attempting to get back the dish before you poke in and let you taste it. "hey, don't worry about it. I'm sure it tastes fine. let me try it!" he lets you poke inside but he's got a slightly worried look on his face, he didn't know that you had to eat it as soon as it's taken out of the oven.

your lips close around the spoon which scooped the airy bake. your eyes meet his curious ones as he raises an eyebrow in question. "mmm, it's delicious Jungkook!" he lets out a relieved sigh but still feels disappointed. you notice it and feel guilty for telling him about it.

"Hey." your palm grabs him and he glances at you with a tight smile before he looks around the room. "you said this was an experiment. and it's amazing for a first try in fact.....you said there's more batter right?" he nods and frowns when you get out of bed. your hand still wrapped around his. "come on." "Where to?"

"let's bake a fresh one." you take the bowl with the pasta but he stops you and tells you that he's taking both of them downstairs. you both walk to the kitchen, he looks at you confusedly when you take the batter out of the refrigerator. "What are you up to?" "I'm in the middle of making a soufflé, obviously." he whines and takes it from you.

"Hold on, you can't make it. It was for you as my way to say sorry about earlier." he mutters with a hint of irritation lingering in his tone. "Hey, I've already forgiven you, and I was the one who mentioned the soufflé just for fun." "no, I'll do it."

he's hesitant in allowing you to make it. "hey Jungkook.." you place the bowl on the cabinet and meet his eyes. "it tasted great okay, it was an experiment and it was successful. don't feel upset about it. now... you and I can make another one and I'll show you when you should take it out of the oven so we both can enjoy one together okay?"

you murmur, your voice soft and understanding, it makes him agree within a few seconds. "but I'll handle everything, I want you to sit right there and give me instructions, yeah?" "sure Mr. Jeon, that will do!" you giggle and sit on one of the bar chairs as you begin to pass instructions over to him. you tell him to grease it well and dust it with a fair amount of sugar because you love it when it's sweeter.

you also let him know that he could use flour as a substitute, he gathers all this knowledge and keeps it in his mind. he now knows he needs to grease it with sugar or flour but his ears pass the flour because all he has to store is what you like and it's sugar so he doesn't need anymore information. you instruct him to fill the cups, leave some space so it can rise well and gently tap the mini casseroles on the counter so the surface will be smoothened.

"you missed out about the air bubbles being released." he says which makes you roll your eyes at him. "yeah yeah whatever Chef Jeon." he sniggers at the way you speak and the chef Jeon, he likes the sound of that. he brings over the cups to you and you see how it looks show him a thumbs up and tell him to now put it in the oven.

he gestures to you with his index finger grabs a paper towel and wipes the rim of the dishes like a professional chef, making you laugh at his actions. he puts them to bake like he did before and cleans up the little mess. you tried to help him but he forbade you so you didn't complain. "thought you didn't know how to cook."

he mutters as he wipes his hands with a towel while growing closer to you. you've almost done eating your pasta and when he places his hands on the counter and leans towards you, you attempt to feed him but he says he's had his share. you feel a tinge of embarrassment as if you'd become a little too intimate by feeding him, you're hoping he doesn't catch up on it and luckily he doesn't.

"I have no idea about cooking but this... I saw a TikTok today and it was just easy to remember." he hums and watches the bowl as you stir the balance of the penne. "you didn't have to do all this, you know. I was just teasing you bout it. I wasn't serious."

he gives you a side smile and looks at his fingers. "I know but I just wanted to try it for you. and you need a dessert after a good meal." he smirks and you nod at his words as you eat up the last of the pasta, clearing the bowl. "I agree!" he's quick to grab the bowl from you before you step down the chair to wash it up.

you sit back and cradle your bump as he offers a glass of water, you're overfed but you still manage to keep some space for the dessert because there's no way you're not gonna have Nutella souffle that looks bomb and is also made by Jungkook so it's just one more reason to have it. He takes his phone for some time and gets notified by an unknown number for the fourth time of the day.

the messages says;

'Jungkook you can't ignore me. we need to talk just once. I need to clear things up. - Taehyung.'

'kookie I'm sorry about today, can we please make up for it? at your office? a cafe? your place? anything. - yoongi. '

it frustrates him that everyone is on a mission to talk to him and he doesn't want to keep any connections with them but they still attempt and it only gets on his nerves. it's too late and he does not want to get irritated by these texts so he chooses to leave his phone on silent. "what do you think about a visit to your parents?"

he asks out of the blue and that makes you choke on the liquid. "hey, careful." he pats on your back a few times and looks at your face for any sign. "my parents?" "yeah?" your eyes search his face and then around the kitchen because you feel slightly uncomfortable.

"what makes you want to visit my parents?" you feel your heart at your mouth and it makes you think of various scenarios of why he would want to meet your parents. "no, I didn't mean it like that." "then what?" he chuckles and grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge. "I meant to ask if you would want to visit your parents, not me."

you hum and bite the inner corners of your lips to think for a bit. it would be out of the thought to meet your parents, you hadn't even informed them about your pregnancy yet. "no, it's fine..." Jungkook catches on the uneasiness of your tone and fiddling of your fingers.

"they know about the pregnancy, right?" he asks you, your eyes flicker to his sideways glance and then back to the ground, which makes him deeply sigh. he didn't expect this from you. "y/n, I think it's best if they know now. it's already too late." "I need time, I'm not ready." you say and shift in your seat uncomfortably.

he walks to you and leans on the counter to stop your fingers from twiddling. he sighs again and looks at you, he sees the disappointment and sadness in your eyes and knows that this is a difficult topic. "hey, look at me." he whispers and you gulp as you continue to look at his hands that wrap around yours. "darling, eyes at me."

he tilts your chin to meet his eyes and sees yours as your hesitant but you still chose to look at him. "I know this is difficult and requires courage but your parents have the right to know. how long will you keep them in the dark? don't they deserve to know?"

he asks you as your eyes linger on his, you give him a slow nod and he smiles, his fingers caressing the back of your hand to comfort you and tell you that it's okay. "not now but soon, you need to inform them okay. they are your family and they need to know." he murmurs and you whisper an 'okay' with a tight smile on your lips.

"good! now the souffle is ready and is waiting to be taken out." he speaks in a cheery tone as he wears the black gloves and pulls out the two cups. a smile decorates your face as you push away the thoughts about how you're gonna inform your parents about the pregnancy. Jungkook dusts some icing sugar on top of the surface and lets you poke into it.

the spoon now smoothly pushes inside the airy bake and as you take it out, the Nutella drips from the edges and drops fall onto your finger. "ouch-" you flinch when you feel the burning drop slipping inside your sick, burning your thumb.

Jungkook was quick to put your finger inside his mouth, licking the hot Nutella off your thumb and providing a cooling sensation from his salvia. his tongue wraps itself around your finger as he looks focused on managing to give you quick relief so the burning won't feel worse on your skin.

your movements halt when you feel him sucking your finger and how soft his lips are around your fingers and how cold his tongue feels. he removes your thumb and looks at you worriedly, "does it still burn? You okay? do we need to use some ointment?"

he questions faster and puts your thumb inside his mouth again giving you tingles and making goosebumps rise your little hairs as shivers run down your spine. "I'm fine. you look good wrapped around my finger."

you whisper as his eyes flicker to yours and realize what he's been doing. your thumb still inside his mouth, his eyes looking up at yours while you look down at him with a smirk on your face as you bite your lip so teasingly.

you drop the spoon back into the cup and place your hand under your chin to watch him look like this. he looks like such a tease as he intentionally now sucks on your finger slowly. so...slowly. you bite your lip and look at him with siren eyes, a stupid yet tempting smile sits on your face. he pulls his lips off your fingers with a pop! sound, seductively.

"you know what looks better?" he questions, his eyes now droopy as he licks his bottom lips. he knows what you're doing to him, he'd seen this 6 months ago. "what?" you ask in a whisper getting closer to his face. his eyes move from yours left to right before he glances at your lips.

"your lips wrapped around me........."

next chapter ⇢

[curses-of-the-void]

Where The Shadow Ends

Fandom(s): Teen Wolf

Wordcount: 1074

Warning(s): Age gap, mentions of abuse/neglect, sacrifices mentioned, spoilers

Summary: Derek comes to check on her after the events that unfolded.

The scent of petrichor and decay surround her as she lay among crip leafs, her breath visible puffs in the air as she stares at the sky above her, stars twinkling in the dead of night, blurred by tears that are drying, sticky on her face. Deucalion was finally defeated, Jennifer was gone, Noah was safe, Chris was safe, Melissa was safe, her mom was safe- things were good. But, Gods and Goddesses above was she tired. She sacrificed herself with Scott, Allison, and Stiles, to save all four of their parents, leaving her feeling this darkness staining her soul, at every moment of every day, and if it wasn't for her friends, it would cripple her.

The crunch of footsteps make her suck in a sharp breath, reaching up to wipe her face as she sits up, pausing at the sight of the Beta standing a few feet from where she lay, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. His green gaze is piercing in the light of the moon, not quite full but reaching it, lips set in a firm line as she brushes some hair from her face. As if her movement spurns him into moving, he crosses to her, settling on the ground beside her, one arm thrown over his knee as he looks out at the forest that lines the back of her house.

"Why?" He asks, and she swallows thickly, looking away, already knowing the question he's referring to.

"Because... if I could help, then I should. She's my mother." Derek sighs at that, turning his head to look at her as she shrugs. "It's not like she abused me... she just ignored me. She didn't know how to cope after my dad's death." She pauses, looking up at the stars again. "I think she blamed more for it, because I survived the crash, and he didn't." She wraps her arms around her knees, drawing them to her chest.

"You corrupted your soul for her, only for her to act like she's terrified of you." She snorts, reaching up to palm her eye.

"I use magic Derek."

"And I have fangs and claws. Which of these do you think should cause her more concern?" He pauses, shaking his head. "Nevermind... I didn't come to fight." He looks at her. "How're you doing? How're... How are we doing?" The reference to the unspoken tension between the two of them makes her cheeks flood with heat, looking away as her heart skips in her chest.

"I dunno." She admits, and Derek frowns, looking away as he clenches his jaw, flexing it back and forth as he grinds his teeth. "Look, Derek, we both knew things wouldn't- couldn't- progress between us, at not while I'm still in school. But, you kinda slept with and sided with a murderer." She points out. "Again."

"You can't hold Kate against me. I didn't do that as an adult." He states, looking over at her. "I was a kid." She raises a hand and his brow furrows. "You're 18, about to be 19."

"Just because I'm a year older than Scott and Stiles, doesn't make me not a kid."

"Stop. Just stop." Derek reaches out to grab her hand. "You've made your point. I just... it's different. We're different." Silence lingers between them as she stares at him, at his hand, holding her own, warm and callused, and it makes her feel so much more than if Scott or Stiles or Isaac had grabbed it.

"I-I-" Derek seems to notice, because he pulls her to him, and she shifts to her knees, letting him all but pull her into his lap as he trails his other hand up to cup her face, thumb stroking her cheek.

"You were crying." A surprised laugh echoes in the clearing, escaping her as she nods, his brow furrowing again.

"Tends to happen when emotions come to a head. I needed a good cry." She admits, and Derek knows how hard that is for her to admit, to him, to herself, to anyone. She doesn't like to admit needing to be vulnerable, to anyone. "Can I have my arm back?" She asks, still stretched out with her wrist caught in his hand, pulled over his lap, straddling one of his legs. He releases her as she brings her arm to her chest, cradling it as she feels the burn of his touch lingering on her skin, his other hand is still stroking her cheek as she looks down, rocking back to sit back on her knees. "What're you gonna do now?" She asks quietly, and Derek looks down as he drops his hand from her cheek.

"Take Cora back to South America. That's where the rest of our remaining family is."

"Oh." She shifts, scooting further away as he flexes his hand, like he's trying to prevent himself from reaching for her again, to pull her back in his close proximity. "I-I see." She rubs her cheeks, as though trying to get heat back into them, but secretly trying, in vain, to wipe his touch from her skin. His touch still on her skin, seared into her cheek like a burn, a matching sensation gripping her chest. "W-Will you come back?"

"No." He visibly hesitates. "I... I don't know. Maybe? I have things that I have to do. Things that I need to do." He admits, and she bites her bottom lip, tugging at the chapped skin as he reaches out, lifting her face to look in her eyes, thumb tracing her lip to pull it from between her teeth. "Yes." He finally says, determination in his voice. "Yes. I will come back." He brushes a stray hair from her face, leaning closer as her breathing hitches. "I'll be back for you." His promise makes her heart skip another beat, before he presses a kiss to her lips, making her hum in surprise, leaning in to kiss him in return. "I'll come back for you." He promises again.

"You better." She murmurs, and then he's gone, the cold air surrounding her burns, the lingering touch and taste of his lips makes her skin sting blissfully. "Don't forget about me." She whispers into the air.

[norrisscented]

A Little Help

Daniel Ricciardo x Autistic!Fem!Reader

warnings:: ~shutdowns and meltdowns~, reader has a hard time communicating verbally. mentions of harm during a meltdown, talks sensory overload, ngl this is very self indulgent-

(a/n):: ANOTHER BLURB <3 motivation was poopy but i’m back i think!!!

You could feel your own skin, taste your saliva, and hear yourself blink. The comforter that you and Daniel had to search for in stores now felt too much, even though you couldn’t feel it on your skin. He wasn’t home, yet. He hasn’t seen you like this in a while.

By this you mean, the aftermath of a meltdown. You were hyper aware of it all. Your face red from your emotions and feelings. It all felt as though you only understood it fully but you knew if Daniel were to walk in, there’s no way to tell him how it felt.

You really tried to calm down, use the coping skills you have learned. You couldn’t though. Nothing was going right and you had reached your breaking point when you opened up a package that contained your safe food, it is what you are used to. Except it wasn’t, you are certain they changed the recipe. It all came crashing down on you then.

Other people would call it childish but you have few things you can rely on as a normal thing. This includes packaged foods that usually always taste the same, movies you’ve seen 50 times, and Daniel’s love and support. You could really use the last two things right about now.

Click.

Speak of the devil- or angel? You don’t know at the moment.

“Hun? You in the bedroom?” Daniels voice echoes throughout the home. You can’t find it in yourself to reply just yet, you know you should but the words are stuck in your chest.

You know he’s taken off his shoes by the softness of his footsteps, memorizing footsteps and the emotions or actions behind them was easy for you. The footsteps grow closer. You watch him slowly fully open the bedroom door, it being almost closed.

“Hey, you okay?” You notice the little things in his voice, how his voice lowers and softens when he sees the state you’re in. You don’t have enough energy to hide the fact that you had a meltdown just some time ago. You just don’t have energy now.

He sits on the edge of the bed, near you. Pressure, you need pressure on you. That’s all you can think, but once again you can’t verbalize it.

“Is there anything I can do for you right now, hun?” He keeps his voice calm, you nod.

“Are you able to tell me right now?” He’s so understanding you could cry if you weren’t dehydrated right now.

“Pressure.” He smiles at your reply, happy to help.

“Ok,” He scoots over to you and pulls you into his chest. Fully wrapping his arms around you and squeezing just the right amount.

“Might have to get you one of those weighted blankets, ey?” He laughs but you know it’s a real suggestion. You’ve talked about it of course, for when he’s gone. You just nod in his chest.

“When you're able to, wanna tell me what happened?” You sigh, the words stuck in your chest start moving upward.

“Built up. They changed the recipe in (your safe food) and that’s what threw me overboard.” Short and sweet, that’s the only way you know how to communicate after anything that has drained you.

“I know how much you liked that.” He draws light circles on your back. He takes a deep breath before continuing “You gotta let me know if you hurt yourself, I know how hard it can be to express your emotions especially when you're by yourself.”

A quick shake of the head is good enough for Daniel. He knows that you would’ve told him if you did harm yourself, accidentally or on purpose to try to soothe yourself.

“Can we watch (your favorite movie).” You ask.

“Of course.”