#siegrain

[thesirenwithnovoice]

Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done Now that I know the darkest side of me

Jesus Christ I struggled so much with this one. There's still so many things that I'm not happy about and that definitely could have been done better, but I will accept this is the best I can do for now and move on. xD At least, I could learn a lot about what works best for me in the drawing process.

[fairypanel]

Fairy tail anime

Loke was in Lucy's list of perfect boyfriends

(with Jellal as Siegrain right on top of Loke)

[celticcatgirl2]

So y’all gonna kiss or what

[fairytailaustories]

A high school trip (Modern AU)

A Fiore High School was on a trip and all the houses are on a trip.

-Fairy Tail Club -Sabertooth Club -Lamia Scale Club -Blue Peagus Club -Mermaid Heel Club -Crime Sorcere Club -Student Council Club

Each club was on the same trip but only certain members were allowed. On the trip there, Jellal, Erza, Ultear and Meredy were sitting together on one of the school's buses. Erza had fallen asleep during the way to their destination. Jellal had taken his blazer off and wrapped it on Erza's shoulders before Erza decided to use his shoulder as a pillow. Jellal spent the rest of the trip looking out the window, ignoring Meredy's and Ultear's comments and fliming.

[yamishika]

HCs about Jellal : Pre abduction / Jellal backstory

Since I am in a slump and have been struggling to find the motivation to write again and continue with my works, I thought I would just share my HCs regarding what I had thought about Jellal’s life Pre-Tower Of Zeref/canon events.

I am aware of the canon backstory that had come out about Jellal in 100YQ, but this is just my HCs/narrative that I had in mind and had been writing about way before the revelation. I wanted to share it just to see if anyone else likes the direction of it and just to get me back into the mindset of thinking about Jellal again since it's been some time.

I will mention though my HCs are more of a grittier, almost seinen like origin, so it can get pretty distressing, however with the darker themes of Fairy Tail I thought it could fit.  Just a heads up...This is a pretty long read so thank you to those who are patient with it, i'm sorry I write so much. I will however include some art alongside the HCs to show what the vision was for the narrative so it's more concisive! Note : Smaller bulletpoints/text in the the post are basically related to the parent bulletpoint or image above (I don't know how to format properly on this-) CW & TW : Darker subjects mentioned and discussed, possibly some distressing art beneath

Map of Almeta : Altaïr is the capital (The heart), there are smaller countries around it which are also not recognised by the main kingdoms (it looks big on the map but it's not THAT huge.)

First of all Jellal’s birth country (Almeta) is not on the main continents of Earthland (so neither Ishgar, Guilitina etc), rather it exists/existed as it’s own entity, completely detached from the known kingdoms due to a dark history that has caused the people as a whole to flee away from the influence of magic and in doing so, are not connected to the mainlands. 

Despite being detached to the forefront of civilization, Almeta is aware of the existence of the other continents/countries of Earthland, however the existence of Almeta is not apparent for those outside of it. To the point that it does not exist on maps (Of course this is because I wanted to be inline with the canonverse, but also there is a reason for the country being hidden which ties in with the lore of my HCs too)

Almeta actually demonises the use of magic, considers the use of it lawless and eventually leading to corruption, however in the same breath the country prides themselves as being the holders of Heavenly Body Magic - Only due to the fact this was the magic that was bestowed upon them by their gods after immense hardship and tyranny.

The only ones who can actually wield/use magic in Almeta are the protectors who are sworn in service to the nation. 7 bloodlines who are said to preserve the founder’s will, Fernandes being one of them.

That being said, now going into my HCs about Jellal directly…

Jellal (5-6yrs) seeking freedom beyond confinement

Jellal was born as an heir into nobility/priestly lineage

His mother (Kaileen) was a serving priestess (Heavenly Priestess), highly esteemed and revered in the nation alike to a goddess, whereas his father (Rais) was nothing of the sort and actually grew up as seen as a ‘threat’ to society. Regardless of the obvious mismatch, his parents married secretly in a said ‘love’ marriage and when Jellal was conceived a few years after, he was kept a secret from most of the nation who still wouldn’t approve of the marriage yet.

Jellal’s father was not in the country for his birth, he had gone on an expedition organised by the country to the continent for ishgar to take part in diplomatic matters between Almeta and the mainland, as Almeta was seeking to form bonds with Ishgar for the sake of creating new opportunities and gaining more knowledge for it’s people.

That being said there was an attack on Almeta a month before Jellal’s birth and that kept Jellal’s father from returning whilst also pushing back the said ‘reunion’ date until 8 months since the attack, it was uncovered that his father was deemed the orchestrator of the attack and was said to have fled the country through the expedition.

Due to Jellal’s mother’s connection to his father, she was immediately deemed as a co-conspirator and eventually the law of Almeta deemed her to be punished for her husband’s treason, which in turn stripped her from her noble rank entirely and with that, Jellal’s was too.

Almeta’s culture was very governed by their religion, one would even say the following/belief was similar to indoctrination, and any sin against the country and it’s people was considered unforgivable. So those who were tied to such sins (i.e. Jellal and his mother) were to be deemed outcasts, marked for their wicked connections and ‘devilry’.

This goes onto my HC of Jellal’s tattoo origin : (since Mashima never covers that)

Jellal (1 yr+) and his mother Kaileen in confinement

The tattoo on Jellal’s face was a marking put upon him and his mother to identify to the people that they were the ‘cursed’ and forsaken. So called ‘devil blood’ runs between them and they weren’t meant to be seen with the same status as other citizens due to their connection to someone (Jellal’s father) who was now proclaimed a devil by Almetian law.

To add, the design of the tattoo originates from the corrupt empire that had tormented/sieged and violated the citizens of Almeta before the founding of the country.  

The tyrant who had been behind all the suffering, before his death the insignia was carved into the right side of his face to mark him as the ‘first Devil’, which the tradition carried on by the people and by the ruling of the gods to mark those who follow in footsteps of the tyrant and those associated with the same.

Because of the condemnation Jellal and his mother Kaileen faced, he did not grow up as a normal child. Rather he grew up in captivity, his childhood years being wasted away by growing up in something barely short of a prison, completely deprived of freedom and he was always questioning as to why he was the one suffering like this, why his freedom was being stripped for sins of someone else.

^ This dynamic spurns into why Jellal has such a deep vying for freedom, the will for it is deep rooted beyond his time in the tower of heaven.

On top of being basically kept in confinement, Jellal and his mother faced horrific abuse for years, being the target for degradation, humiliation, cruelty, in Jellal’s case covert racism, and in his mother’s case objectification. The people were not kind to them at all, their gods had ordered the mistreatment of the ‘damned’ as it was seen as a symbol of ‘belief and submission’.

Now going onto where the canon bits of Jellal tie in with the narratives of this HC :

Jellal (5-6yrs) reading/looking at the book about the saint he idolises

Despite all the severe adversity and unfairness Jellal faced growing up, his way to cope was through a book that he somehow had that detailed the tale of a man who had faced similar adversity and was considered an outcast, who eventually went on to fight the tyrant and save everyone from great evil and be claimed as a hero.

The man in question is actually the founder of Almeta, Saint Siegrain, and Jellal idolised this man’s story to a fault. At first it was an innocent admiration, but as the world and it’s treatment becomes more clear to Jellal and his understanding of justice and himself becomes raw, Siegrain’s story became something he internalised and used to make sense of his own life and to give him hope too.

Saint Siegrain was actually the twin brother to the tyrant, and because of their likeness the facial tattoo that Jellal has, was carved onto his twin brother both as punishment and to differentiate the both of them.

Saint Siegrain was said to have been the one gifted with the destructive power of the heavens (Heavenly Body Magic) that the gods taught to him in his darkest moments under captivity by his own brother’s tyranny (I think you can tell what this is meant to parallel for Jellal)

However naturally as Jellal tried to cling to this idealistic ‘saint’ personality, the darker sides of his personality that started to grow naturally from the circumstances and injustice he grew up in became a fear for him. 

He always had a pretty black and white understanding of things, the conditions he grew up didn’t make it any better, but as a result Jellal’s darker side was something he denied on such a deeper level that he eventually went on to develop a split personality (Siegrain), who started to properly manifest when he was taken into slavery.  

His compartmentalization of his personality comes from not just wanting to align with his idol’s (Saint Siegrain) story, but also because he doesn’t want to acknowledge what it could mean if he does have these darker traits. As then he actually would be like the ‘first devil’, or the one he mostly despises, his father Rais - The one who gave him said ‘devil’ blood. And he wants to be the furthest thing away from either, because that would mean falling in line with the fate he wishes to reject.

Despite the narrative of the tale, Jellal is actually the ‘Saint’ persona, whilst ‘Siegrain’ is the ‘Devil’. (This can be explained in more detail later if wanted, but I wanted to stay true to canon here in some way).

Siegrain is the persona of Jellal who seeks freedom beyond everything and to rise beyond Jellal’s ‘damned’ fate, yet he’s a manifestation of all the traits/beliefs and ideals that Jellal denies due to his unhealthy idolisation and rejection of said ‘fate’ - He is a twisted persona that both wishes to protect Jellal yet also resents him, but Jellal’s denial of his darkness is so deep that he does not seem Siegrain as part of him at all - Rather Siegrain is his confidant, his friend, his closest, yet his destruction (Their dynamic I had in mind is very Jekyll and Hyde inspired - The extremes and absence of morality)

Because of how ingrained Jellal’s black and white thinking is, this trait of his doesn’t really ever go away even after post TOH events.

Jellal (7-8yrs) making prayers to the gods who he eventually finds out condemned him

Due to Jellal’s upbringing and the gods having basically fated his misery, it’s no surprise why he hates them. At first he prayed to them believing they would intervene for him like the Saint, but then he learned they condemned him for a sin which wasn’t his own and despised them there on out.

The only reason he eventually aligns with Zeref is because he sees his power as the thing that can break him out of his fate + ‘chosen one’ like the saint. 

Extra information about the canon info and how it ties into the HCs: 

How did Jellal get to the Tower Of Zeref? : He was abducted when the cultists of Zeref came to the Almeta and raided the country who were taking part in a huge festival for their gods, and seeking to sacrifice Jellal and his mother in order to earn the gods’s favour again…

Jellal’s personality when he arrived at the Tower Of Zeref? : Despite having been the abused ‘good boy’ in his home country, when arriving at the Tower of Zeref, Jellal takes the chance to reinvent himself. Trying to be confident, positive and everything that his past did not allow him to be.

Nirvana? : In my HCs Jellal actually knows the existence of Nirvana before he is abducted. He is told about it through his Grandfather in an innocent talk he was having about how he could ‘reverse’ his devil blood and be ‘good’ again. But that then spurns Jellal/Siegrain to actually search for Nirvana and information on it when he infiltrates the magic council.

Heavenly Body Magic (HBM)? - As established in the HCs that Almeta prides being the holders of Heavenly Body Magic, during the raid of the country the cultists steal their books and when Jellal rises to power in the tower he teaches himself the material + has a natural affinity towards the magic due to his bloodline having studied Heavenly Body Magic and being attuned towards celestial power. 

Survives being drowned in Ethernano? : Alongside being the heir of a bloodline powerful in magic ability (Fernandes), the Fernandes bloodline were known to take part in methods that would elevate their magical capacity and power + Jellal’s father had apparently been part of one of the countries underground experiments - Ethernano Absorption.

Ethernano absorption was a project done in order to increase the natural threshold for ethernano in the bodies of humans even in huge quantities, and to be able to filter out toxic potential so it could power said individual. 

Because his father underwent the experiment, Jellal being his child has also reaped the benefits of the experiment and has been able to absorb large amounts of ethernano to both draw power but also be able to survive incredulous circumstances such as being drowned in the pure substance since his body is capable of not succumbing (well better than the average human/wizard)

Scarlet? : Jellal’s favourite colour is red because it was the only colour that looked lively and caught his attention when living in confinement and everything was grey. He learned the name of the colour Scarlet when he learned of a flower that had it’s name in it’s description. 

Cats? : Because most people despised Jellal growing up, his friends were nature. He had cats that he considered friends and hence has a fondness for them.

Erza? : Jellal comes to the Tower of Zeref paranoid, despite trying to reinvent himself he feels that he is being seen through. He is wary of everyone around him. He names Erza in the midst of trying to be confident and doing something nice for someone (it's more explained in my fanfic), but it’s her kindness and her ability to see the good in him despite himself which really makes him fall for her.  

Origins? : Jellal never tells anyone about his true upbringing. He doesn’t outright lie as he is bad at it, but he is vague about what happened during the abduction so they can assume their own narrative and he seems more alike to the rest , as he is aware his childhood wasn’t anything normal, and he doesn’t want to tell anyone lest they discard him after finding out his truth.

Desire for Heaven? : As canon Jellal is obsessed with the idea of heaven and Zeref being the way to obtain it, in this narrative the reason why Jellal/Sieg is so adamant to achieve it is because he has been told Heaven is the perfect place. No misery, no pain. Everything will be peaceful and those who get there would not suffer anymore. (So tying it kind of into the abrahamic religions belief)

But. Because of Jellal being marked a 'devil', he is apparently not fit for heaven on his own and due to being outcasted, he wants to achieve heaven in his own means, defy his fate regardless what sacrifice it requires...Because it would all be worth it in the end.

It starts of as an innocent ideal, to combat the injustice of the world that he and many others have experienced, however then devolves into a controlling obsession, devotion in an attempt to spite the gods themselves and save him from his destined damnation

Extra information about HCs of Jellal and everything else : 

Almeta (pronounced - Al-me-tchi-a (it isn't pronounced how it's written, but this is only according to my HC-) : Means 'Ambitious' (in Latin)

Jellal’s surname comes from his mother’s side, whilst his forename comes from his father’s origins (who is considered a foreigner even in Almeta - Aramian/Azrakh (Equivalent of Arabian/Middle Eastern origin here).

When younger Jellal showed more resemblance to his mother (i.e in softness and colour), but growing older he resembles his father’s features more (and this is why the disgust and hate on him was so great in Almeta).

His father is the one who he gets the blue hair from (and growing up Jellal hated it and wished for something normal because his blue hair tied him to the ‘devil’). He started to appreciate it more because of Erza. (Unnatural coloured hair is actually not common in Almeta so Jellal stuck out like a sore thumb)

Jellal’s father is affiliated with the Tower of Zeref.  

One of the gods worshipped in Almeta is ‘Zerith’, but that being said he is not worshipped in a traditional sense. The other gods are worshipped in reverence and will, whereas Zerith has the reputation of chaos and destruction, so Zerith is worshipped out of fear.  

Because of Almeta’s connection to HBM, the country has a huge reverence for the stars and celestial wonder.  

There are subtypes of Heavenly Body Magic - Jellal’s one he studied is mainly offensive and somewhat all rounding. But the defenders of Almeta learned Heavenly magic that was extremely versatile - it could be performative, destructive, healing, defending etc.  

Jellal is actually not aware of what rank his family/mother or he could have had, he does learn Fernandes was an important people in the country but he is not aware to what extent.  

When Jellal’s mother was stripped of her rank, she was also stripped of her magic alongside and forced to live objectified and degraded for her ‘treason’ to a devil.  

His mother eventually went mad under the harsh persecution, abuse and from living in confinement. She began to hate Jellal and everything about him when she couldn’t separate him from his connection to the man who damned them.

Almeta’s inspiration is similar to the crusader period of the holy lands (hence emphasis of religion, mixed cultures, hierarchy etc). (was lowkey inspired by AC1 setting for this)

Ultear’s manipulation is a catalyst for something that was already afflicting Jellal rather than just completely brainwashing him.

Okay that was a really extensive post.

These HCs are based on a narrative I had created trying to do a character study on Jellal, trying to put more reason to his behaviours as a villain aside from Ultear’s manipulation. I wanted to really focus on the ideal of freedom for Jellal, the effect of sins and just building up his mentality from the ground and how it could have been moulded in the Tower of Zeref.

I didn’t want Ultear’s intervention to completely take away his accountability whilst in the same breath exploring what could actually turn someone to align with such ideals despite the circumstances. Especially since Jellal has so much potential.

I really love Jellal and just wanted to share my brain rot i’ve had on him, I know it’s of a darker and more philosophical/psychological angle and there are layers, but I just hope everything I have written has been cohesive and if there are any questions about it, I’d love to answer! I have a lot I could say on these HCs, but I don't want to exhaust it all in one post (the post is already so long to begin with ><)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this, truly.

Please do let me know your thoughts if you have any! ^^

PS : If anyone is interested in reading the fanfic I have been writing which implements the above HCs and narrative, i’ll link it below.

Also I will link the rest of the art I have been getting done related to this narrative for Jellal.

Thank you once again for reading all this 🤍

[usagirln120]

Jellal Fernandes: Hogwarts AU

Jellal Fernandes is a Half-Blood (believed Muggleborn) wizard that was born on the 5th of January 1978 and started attending Hogwarts on the 1st of September 1989, being sorted into Ravenclaw house.

His mother Esmeralda abandoned him at a muggle orphanage right before she was killed by Death Eaters, causing him to grow up without knowledge of magic.

He and a few other orphans were eventually kidnapped to be used as slaves to Purebloods due to their Muggleborn status but when they discovered that he was actually a Half-Blood, they put him under the Imperius Curse to raise him as a Death Eater.

When they started attending Hogwarts, he manipulated the other orphans to think that Erza had betrayed them which worked on the younger ones but his best friend Simon didn't believe him and still had complete faith in Erza.

He was eventually forced to take on the Death Eater Mark in his sixth year by his adopted parents and started working for Zeref during the Second Wizarding War during which he actually killed Simon.

Simon's younger sister Kagura wanted to kill him in revenge for it but when she realized that he actually was under the Imperius Curse, she reluctantly forgave him.

But he eventually broke out of the Imperius Curse and went into hiding with Ultear Milkovich and her daughter Meredy under the protection of the Order of the Phoenix.

He eventually participated in the Battle of Hogwarts which he survived but he, Meredy and a few others were later forced to go on the run since the Ministry of Magic didn't believe their claims that they were under the Imperius Curse.

Jellal was even declared to get the Dementor's Kiss if he was ever caught, which horrified Meredy while Jellal accepted it due to his grief over the apparent death of Erza.

He was eventually pardoned for his crimes around the time that Erza and the others returned after seven years with the two eventually entering a romantic relationship together.

After meeting his grandfather for the first time, he started working for the Ministry of Magic, married Erza and had two children with her.

He has a Beech wand with a Unicorn Hair Core.

His Patronus is a Dalmatians.

His favorite subjects are Charms and History of Magic.

His least favorite subjects are Potions and Herbology.

[watcher-ofthe-sky-art]

had to redraw his silly little grin.

[ravendavia]

Siegsonas doodle

[readtilyoudie]

Fairy Tail Vol 4

[toshiro-taichou]

The blue haired look-a-like family headcanon AU I have in my head.

Ever since seeing this, and learning about Sieghart and Justice, I have been getting this AU in my head.

Picture this.

Sieghart is the father

Mystogan, Jellal and Siegrain are triplets

Justice is the younger brother

Wendy is the baby sister we all need in our lives.

One blue family. But set it in a modern era.

The guilds are houses in Fiore School which serves as a Junior High School and a High School.

-Mystogan and Wendy belongs to Fairy Tail house.

-Jellal and Justice belongs to Crime Sorciere house.

-Siegrain is a part of the student council.

All uniforms are different. Fairy Tail is purple. Crime Sorciere is dark blue. Lamia Scales is green. Blue Peagus is light blue. Student council is white.

2/3 triplets aka Jellal and Siegrain are mischievous and they tend to swap uniforms. No one can tell who is who between the triplets. However, Wendy and Justice are always able to tell the triplets apart by their eye colour.

-Jellal has blue eyes

-Mystogan has green eyes

-Siegrain, Wendy and Justice has brown eyes.

The teachers have never noticed the eye colour difference so they usually pray that the boys are in their assigned classes and not mixed their classes by attending to the other's class. Jellal and Siegrain does that a lot. They tried getting Mystogan to join but he flatted out refused. It's mainly Jellal and Siegrain that the teachers get mixed up. Mystogan usually wears a face mask so it's easier for the teachers to know that it's him and not Siegrain or Jellal.

The siblings all have different hobbies and likes:

-Mystogan: Going out on walks, biking, reading in quiet places.

-Jellal: Hanging out with his friens, spending time with Erza and playing the father role to Meredy.

-Siegrain: Reading, pulling pranks and annoying the fuck out of Mystogan.

-Justice: Reading about space, making random DIY stuff and arguing with Elsie.

-Wendy: Gardening, looking after her kitten (Carla) and patching her brothers up after they get into fights.

They also hang out in their own groups

Mystogan: Edolas (Ezra, Coco, Sugar Boy and Hughes)

Jellal and Siegrain: Troublemakers (Ultear, Meredy, Cobra, Midnight, Angel, Racer and Richard)

Wendy: Natsu group (Natsu, Lucy, Erza, Gray, Juvia, Gajeel and Levy).

Ships

Sieghart is a single dad. Can't picture him being with anyone.

Mystogan with Ezra Knightwalker. Ezra is just Erza Knightwalker just spelt differently. Erza and Ezra are cousins and it was after the offical documents were placed that the two cousins share the same name

Jellal with Erza Scarlet. I swear if I could punch this man, I would. Jerza for life.

Siegrain with Ultear. I think they'll be quite cute together.

Justice with Elsie Crimson. It's canon, they deserve a happy ending (even if they fight all the time).

Wendy with Romeo. They're cute together.

I really want to find some bases and draw them as a father now. I'm doing it.

[fairy-edits]

💙 MOTHER & SON 💙

-Fairy Tail: 100 Years Quest-

(#Manga Coloring)

Credits: H.Mashima & A.Ueda's Arts.

Color by me.

A/N: My sweet little boy, you break ny heart, your heart and soul are too pure, you deserved happiness & love.

[nocentis]

Black Arum ┆ Siegrain

Content warning: main character death, cannibalism, gore, toxic/unreliable narrator, highly canon divergent character portrayal. Read at your own risk. You will probably take psychic damage from this.

╳┆A lure was stuck in the soot between his lungs. Many times he'd felt the tug — enough that the wire fray had worn a rut where his ribs met — and many times he'd found her on the other end, reeling for remnants of him that no longer existed. She would aim to break him open, sift around in the cinders for those specks of him she wanted to confiscate, keep for herself, so that she could finally be rid of him. Once those flecks were washed and panned, the remains would reek like plough mud closure. For that reason he would come to her whole, every whit of ash accounted for.

A cherry little game they'd play. Her with flint and steel, eager to reignite that paltry spark of "good" that flickered freely for a lapse before he remembered himself. Him with tinder and kindling, letting it light only to call on the rain again. Her with just enough hope. Him with just enough time.

That resolve was so very compelling. More than her beauty, her candor, and even that glow he so loved to bask in — that luster he wanted to hold between his teeth and bury under his nails — more than that, her tenacity was a toothsome temptation, and he wasn't keen to deny himself anything.

So when he felt the pull, he caved to the beck and spooled the lisle. That day, the line seemed lighter, thinner, than it ever had. It should've been strong. Tensile. Instead it felt gossamer fine and just as frail, poised to tear at an ill touch, and he wasn’t exactly renowned for his gentle hands. Still, he gathered it with both palms and wrapped it proudly around himself like a ceremonial sash, grin scrawled across his face something devilish.

╳┆He found her lying in the shade beneath a long-lived magnolia, still and silent as she never was, with the color of her namesake spread around her head in halo streaks. Battle-torn, as she so often was, and yet uncannily... passive.

Anything he'd planned to say went out the airlock. Instead, he stood there with an anchor in his stomach, reaping the benefit of doubt.

Not a frown nor a sigh when he darkened her sanctum, only heavenward eyes tearless and unblinking and a resigned breath just short of peaceful. That worn tether waned phantom thin, light as helium, and the tension in his chest went slack.

There was no definite snap. No dramatic severing or ear-popping moment of clarity. Only the vague sense of loss so fresh a wound that denial was a numbing salve.

“Get up,” his voice a command, sandgrit against whetstone, thickened by an unnamed antigen.

The silence felt like mockery. A placid scene void of chittering fauna, clouds' drum, or even the most timid breeze. It wanted him to hear the absence of her breath and the stillness of her chest. It wanted him to hear the hollow. The empty. The nothing. Wanted it to resonate; to find the furthest reaches of his mind and clean them out until all that was left was this icy, clarifying silence.

He knew the end when he saw it. This was something much worse. It was robbery.

Her life wasn’t for the world to take. It was for him to hold in his hands. 

Something wet and pathetic slicked his tongue — some whiny, pleading thing — and it was stubborn as oil. The authority slid to the back of his throat and left him choking, “You are the indomitable Titania. You’ve laced fingers with Death time and again only to rise and slay and conquer, so get up.”

Her warmth was set to a slow drip, spilling from her in tired beads and seeping soundlessly into her chosen ground. Little whispers of her lost to greedy loam, sullied, never to be returned.

A waste of precious love. The sod won’t drink of her as he will. It will take of her and give back what? New “life” so fragile and fleeting? A feeble weed will take root, bloom its days few, and curl itself inside out? Pathetic. An insult to her legacy. An insult to the diamond-split sharp of her bladesoul.

His heart boiled over — popping, sticking, simmering sicksweet saccharine. It colored him cloying, flooded his mouth, and forced him to kneel at her altar.

"Please," he keened, hollow and morose, and his own pleading sickened him, “Say something.”

The sun trickled through the leaves like ichor, lighting up her black-blown eyes and the thin ring of honey surrounding them. Dim, distant, and dead as the moon.

His hand carved a path to her face, fingers featherlight against her fading flush. He brushed her bangs from her eyes and forced an unbroken breath through his quavering mouth. He traced each scar too faint to see and the parts of her skin their star kissed. Memorized the map of her face — each curve and crease, each fine hair, and every eyelash. He would carve out a space in his mind in her shape and fill it with the thousand sweet nothings he kept in his pockets.

He gathered her hand and threaded it with his own. When he opened his mouth, a rickety twine escaped from the deepest point of his chest, so he forced his jaws shut to keep the grief corked. He uncurled her fingers and pressed his cheek into her palm, trapping her there against his own scarred skin. His eyes fell shut as he breathed in this borrowed touch — this moment fated, stolen from him by this world's insatiable avarice.

He kissed her palm directly in the center; held it against his mouth and felt his own ruined breath echo back to him from the deepest grooves of her skin. Again, he begged, “Please, Erza.”

Of the armors innumerable now haunting this hallowed ground, this one least befit her. 

He revered Death. If there was a god, surely it was Death, he thought, for Death asks for nothing but life. The dead don’t know that they’re dead. They know a split second of euphoria and then a sharp, definite end. Isn’t that the work of a gracious god? One last stroke of color whether in peace or peril, and then eternal rest. Back to the dust you sprouted from.

But now he couldn’t see any of that beauty he often waxed poetic about. All he could see was change yet to come. All he could see was her, and he wanted her back.

He wanted her back, yet he knew better than anyone that there was no such thing as resurrection. While Death might be gracious, it was not generous, and it was not to be reasoned with.

The thought of her buried deep, bathed by the dark and abandoned to rot — it washed his mouth acid sour. It ate straight through his tongue and lingered in the roots of his teeth, burning, raging redhot in his jaws’ marrow.  A grave didn't suit her anymore than a pyre.

Soon she would be cold. Stiff. A feast for flies and their insatiable young. In the days to come, she would bubble and bloat and sallow. Her skin would loosen and slough off. The sun would bleach her bones. The meat of her would melt into oil and fat and bogspit. She would mix in with the soil, the groundwater, and this thankless magnolia would thrive.

It was tall, thick, with branches spread in all directions. The lowest of its limbs showed off the varied deep greens of its large waxy leaves, their undersides a chalky brown. A few white flowers bloomed, palm-shaped petals open in praise like they'd come to witness and worship. There was no question why she'd chosen to crawl here. It must've reminded her of home.

Despite its beauty, it was hardly worthy of her. Nothing in this ravenous world was. Her grave should be carved within his chest. There, he could keep her warm. He could host her in his veins. One day, they would wade the waters of woe together. Until then she could live under his skin.

He wouldn’t allow her to spoil. Wouldn’t place her gently into time’s whittlesome hands only to lose her peel by peel by rotting peel.

This world has taken much from you. Do not allow it to take her too.

A carnal ache etched itself into bone, a depth of passion he hadn't felt since he wrought for a false Heaven.

She is a fruit, ripe as a plum and twice the taste. Peel her open. There is a seed at her core. Plant it in your soot-field chest and watch her bloom anew.

What are these hands for if not this?

Flesh like sheets of silk. Muscle like rope. Blood like honey. Bone like an ivory trove. The splitting, the squelching, the straining, ripping, snapping; it burrowed marrow-deep and lingered there. Her chest peeled apart like jagged teeth, jaws croaking their rusted tune, and inside that redslick maw was the center of the universe.

The heart upon its throne, still as she, shielded by her precious lungs. It slid into his palm like it was always meant to be there. Raw, rich, and so very scarlet. Its sinews strained against his pull — those hollow vines that fed even the furthest parts of her — so he wrenched them free and draped himself in them like matchless finery.

Eat. Eat ‘til you’re sick. There’s a hole the size of her in the pit of your stomach. Eat until you fill it. 

What are these teeth for if not this?

Tough as leather; smooth as rubber. His teeth slid right off the rind and clicked together with nothing but metallic sheen between them. He gnashed at that ink-dripping muscle until he found a spot weak enough to tear apart. It tasted of rare meat and iron; a heady gore thick enough to drown in. He swallowed, gasped, and that first new breath felt like a blade.

The child inside him saw her split-open ribs as his cradle. He wanted to crawl inside, curl up, and die. He wanted to paint himself her color.

He lost his vision to the hot, angry wash. His own sobs were a distant sound, muffled by meat and blood and his own desperate fingers. He was numb in the mouth and in the shake of his hands, but he forced himself to eat, eat despite the choking, the gagging, the wet, weeping remorse.

Don’t you dare throw her up. Be grateful. Swallow and say thank you and finish what you’ve started.

He bit into his own palm, indistinguishable from her core, and he cried out in sour relief. His hands spread raw grief over his face, through his hair, and down his neck.

You’re no better than this starving world.

He curled into himself, hands clutching his own aching chest, and despite the cloudless sky, he called upon the rain.

[fairypanel]

[celticcatgirl2]

“…and then there’s the matter of my sadboi boytoy malewife…”

-ACHOO-

“Someone must be talking about me….”

[fairytailaustories]

"Do not speak of a certain subject to the old geezers"

I couldn't help myself. I do love this scene. Enjoy people.

[yamishika]

100YQ Rant/Criticism

SPOILERS FOR FT 100YQ INCLUDED

I have been following FT 100YQ and have seen a lot of moments that just made me go ‘hmm okay, doesn’t make sense but alright’, and there have been a lot of moments of just the plot/narrative being broken for convenience sake. It has gotten under my skin many times, but as a Jellal fan, one of the biggest offenses and one that makes me scratch my head a lot is from chapter 144.  Don't read ahead if you don't want to be spoiled about a big reveal on his character or on 100YQ.

144 : Beyond Sins.

Now initially when this chapter came out, I really loved it since it was the first time we had a backstory in ages and it being Jellal’s, I ate it all up.

But there was something in this chapter that made absolutely no sense narrative wise when I looked back with fresh eyes and wasn’t riding the high of getting Jellal’s backstory/anything Jellal related.

That being.

This panel.

We’re told not even a page into the chapter, Jellal’s real name is ‘Siegrain’, a name which we know from the previous narrative and was hinted throughout arcs to be like an alter persona for Jellal. 

This chapter goes on to basically confirm that Jellal canonically has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), a trauma response that must have manifested given all the stress and changes that happened in his life from losing his father young, watching his mother die by the slavers and then being taken into slavery, having his whole trajectory he planned for his life ruined etc. 

This is an understandable trauma response, and I would love to have seen it properly explored with understanding in regards to Jellal/Sieg’s character. It would have been so interesting to see how Jellal’s trauma at the tower manifested in a split personality and how he coped with the situation as he was cited to be notably different to all those around him 

‘A Leader’

‘One who doesn’t cry’

‘The strong boy’. 

This chapter basically confirms that this character he created was a way to mask his own insecurities and cope in the unknown environment.

However, that’s not where my gripe is.

Because as much as I was interested in the idea of Jellal’s trauma manifesting as DID, it’s the way that the narrative has gone about it which butchers everything else and makes no sense in a narration sense.

The man who we are told his name has always been ‘Jellal’ is now revealed to us by this flashback chapter to have actually had the name ‘Siegrain’ as his birth name. 

This on it’s own is boggling but wouldn’t have caused such breaks in the narrative, but the fact that this very chapter contradicts a chapter in a previous arc with Jellal in the Gears fight, this is where it just stops making sense.

In order to beat Gears in chapter 57, Jellal takes out ‘Siegrain’, the man whom he claims is the carrier of his sins, which in accordance to other arcs of Fairy Tail makes sense since we see the Siegrain persona being the most active in regards to infiltrating the magic council, getting the etherion fired etc.

But now we have in not even 100 chapters after this, it’s revealed to us that Jellal’s name isn’t Jellal at all, but ‘Siegrain’. How can Siegrain be the one carrying Jellal’s sins, when Siegrain is the main identity/person  that Jellal was created from? 

It just doesn’t add up.

And if that isn’t narrative breaking enough, Jellal’s name actually being ‘Siegrain’ causes a whole other narrative hole too.

This guy.

Mystogan.

Mystogan’s real name is Jellal, just like if not all Edolan counterparts share the same first name of their earthland counterparts (e.g. Natsu Dragion, Lucy Ashely, Erza Knightwalker, Gray Surge etc). But being told now all of a sudden that Jellal changed his birth name doesn't work for Mystogan, as are we meant to believe that Mystogan conveniently changed his name to be ‘Jellal’ to match his earthland counterpart who was going through a mental crisis?

Mystogan, the one who’s whole thing was to keep his identity hidden and it’s Faust, the one who calls him out the name as Jellal. The one who is meant to be his father/father figure? Mystogan, who somehow has the name Jellal, a name Erza wasn’t even allowed to mention out of the Tower, which makes sense for him to have it if his counterpart had that birth name, but apparently that’s not the case?

I know I am probably just beating a dead horse now and I should get over it, but I just needed to write something since my head was struggling to make sense of the reveal for a long time. I don’t know what exactly is added to the story by Jellal’s birth name being ‘Siegrain’ other than shock value. Like what does this plot twist actually do? Nothing.

Other than it just makes the whole narrative so messy now and I don’t like it. If the aspect of DID was to be introduced for Jellal’s character, then what was wrong with Jellal being the host? And Siegrain being the alter that manifested as a trauma response?

It could have been something intriguing and insightful to explore, bring awareness about different trauma responses and also add a new layer to his character beyond just extremes of misguidance and the need for redemption.

But no.

God this just makes no sense.

I’m sorry for ranting, after seeing the Gears fight animated, it reminded me of THAT reveal and I just saw glaring plot holes which I completely blindsided the first time I read the chapter.  And what makes me even more annoyed is the DID aspect is probably just another plot convenience that is most likely never going to be brought up again ever.

And I’ve already said how I don’t like something serious such as trauma being used as a plot device.

Which it clearly is in this case.

The only way I can make sense of both events existing, is that it shows that Siegrain is so disassociated from his sense of self, that he has decided to adopt the identity of Jellal completely, killing his born self for the sake of the present and going as far to believe that Siegrain is the made one and not 'Jellal'.

However then that opens up a whole new discussion...One I might cover another day, but i'm afraid this is getting long enough as it is.

But yeah, thank you for listening to my ramblings if you’ve stayed this long.

I wonder if anyone else felt the same about the reveal as someone who likes Jellal's character? Or just has been following the story? I'd love to hear your thoughts.