#side note: the coloring reminds me a lot of my first digital drawings about a decade ago :')

[murderous-coffeebean]

One Rawking Ghoul :D

This one’s for Tumblr Ghoul (@thebandghostofficial) - thank you for rawking so much! 💜

I had a bit of an art block after my last digital drawing and I am still stuck drawing left-handed for a little while longer, but Fanart Friday gave me a good reason to draw something fun and to say thanks, as well ^^

[zulivaris]

Art Block tips that helped me

 I’ve recently experienced art block after 3 or so months of overcoming my last one. Thankfully this block only lasted a few days thanks to some things I’ve observed and noted down from the previous time. So I’m sharing these few tips in hopes that it might help someone get unstuck :D!

First and foremost if you’re tired, sad or anxious don’t be surprised that you can’t make art, go and take care of yourself by treating yourself with kindness and patience, the sketchbooks and canvases will wait for you :)

The tips are under here:

Separate art studies from the creative time:  When you do art studies you’re there to focus on specific things, learn and understand how things work so you can apply them later in your art. Studies take a lot of energy and focus and are the opposite of the creative "flow” of making your own pieces. If you combine the two the results are either unfocused studies or stiff drawings. When you sit down at your desk ask yourself “Do I want to learn something new or do I want to create something of my own?”

When you have an idea don’t be afraid of being messy: Let’s say you want to make a picture of several cats kolo dancing in the moonlight. How do you go about doing this? Well since you came up with the idea you already have a vague image in your mind, sketch it out with simple shapes, stick figures, circle and spheres etc Don’t worry about cat anatomy, or the dancer’s moves, sketch out the essence of it. This method removes the need to be perfect or accurate. 

Ok after the messy sketch then what? Well now that you have sketched out the essence of your idea (and hopefully had fun doing so) now you go on to look for references! You put the creative process on pause and you can do a few brief studies if you need to: anatomy, color schemes, values, poses. Pick out a few of your favorites but don't obsess over them, they are a guide, a tool.

You know much more than you think. You’ve probably been drawing for a few years now. You’ve probably done some studies and drawn more than one type of subject. Then you have already internalized some of that information. I used to be obsessed with capturing the minute detail of the subject, and not be able to draw ANYTHING without reference. Instead of a useful tool, references became another obstacle to my creativity. That’s perfectionism my friend, and that’s no good. Here is an exercise a good friend of mine offered: Draw a few characters, animals and objects from imagination. Make sure that the subjects have no personal value to you (no ocs for example) so that if you make a mistake you won’t feel bad about it. Make the process relaxed and comfortable, pour a nice cup of joe, listen to your favorite music ... You will notice that you do indeed know how to draw some things without reference, and it’ll help with your confidence. 

The more you do studies the more you understand This seems evident but the more you understand your subject the freer you can be and the easier it’ll be to draw it from imagination in the future. If you really struggle with something to the point of frustration (as in you can’t get it right even with reference) It means you have to study it. Have a study list, for example: hands, perspective, color theory etc. And one of those days you want to study pick something from the list, and look for videos on youtube or useful sites like line of action etc. Only study one thing at the time. You can go from studying hands to studying arms since they’re more immediately connected, but you can’t study hands and then jump to learning perspective right after. Trust me you can learn perfectly fine with the resources online, and I’m sure you’re clever enough to do it :D

Mistakes don’t mean you “suck”  I’ve noticed that the two most common causes for art block are perfectionism and lack of self-confidence.  The two can often go in tandem which is worse :’D But let me remind you of something, you can fix your piece along the whole process. Use erasers, lasso tools, liquify , select, paint it all over etc If something looks off to you then you also know deep inside how to fix it. Useful ways to see what clunks: flip canvas horizontally (helps with placement, proportions), turn the image to grayscale (helps to check values and where your eye tends to look), look at your image in thumbnail size and ask yourself if it’s clear, see the pose’s silhouette and ask yourself if you can tell what the character is doing etc. Don’t fret, everything can always be fixed :)

Perfectionism, sometimes it stops you before you begin Perfectionism causes you to overwork a piece, it makes you draw less, it makes art stressful, it brings insecurity. Let’s remove it with a simple exercise. It can be combined with the “draw things from imagination” once you’ve drawn something you like: dont do line art, don’t shade it, keep it as simple and crude as possible and then...post it. Yes, post it. You’re not at your best? You’re only human, this will help you embrace that very human side of you. You make mistakes. So what? The more mistakes you make the more you know what you need to study and the better at art you become. Mistakes are there to show us what we need to learn. See them as another tool and not a sign of failure.

Make the process as enjoyable as possible: You like art. You love drawing. Never forget this. Otherwise why are you drawing if you don’t enjoy it? It’s easy to fall prey to the mentality of those relatable memes that “art= suffering” or “I can’t even draw the other eye”. No no no my friends, these messages are fueling your insecurities instead of overcoming them. Let me tell you what, art is fun. It is. Art is fun, because I decided to make it fun again. And you should decide on that too. Personally I adore lineart but my hand-eye coordination is lacking to do it digitally, so....I just skipped it. Yes. I skipped it. I do the sketch, I clean it up a bit and then jump onto color which I adore. It allowed me to draw more and more freely. When I draw I listen to music, make strokes with the rhythm, I take breaks often and I drink my favorite iced teas. If you don’t like coloring do it in grayscale, if you love lineart then do that etc It doesn’t mean you won’t learn your weak points in the future with studies and practice, but you won’t let your weaknesses prevent you from drawing at all. No no, you won’t let them. You draw because you want to, despite of them.

Don’t wait for inspiration, provoke it  Inspiration is not a divine and capricious muse. You make inspiration. It’s easy just collect all the things you like, music, artists, objects, characters, animals, patterns, plants etc Make boards on pinterest or similar sites, combine things you like. You like suits? You like birds? You can draw a bird in a suit, or a bird-inspired suit design, there is frankly a lot of ideas that can spring up from little things like these.

When a project stops being enjoyable either pause it for now or move on to the next thing. Pieces aren’t precious. They’re not “the one time I got x right” they are one of many. This advice goes mainly to hobbyists who can afford the luxury of passing to a new project. I have a WIP of a character who is overly complicated (I enjoy a challenge from time to time) sitting for half a month. I sometimes come back to it and add something... but as soon as it starts to create discomfort and insecurity instead of enjoyment I move onto something else. In the meantime I created 3 or 4 new pieces. If I had waited on finishing that piece I would have been severely creatively and physically exhausted. The art comes from you, not inspiration. The more art you make the better you become.

That’s about it :D I know it’s long but I prefer to be thorough and cover all the possibilities. If you have read of this: Thank you so much I hope this helps you at least a bit, if it helps only 1 other person I’d still be very happy. Have a nice one, and kick art block’s butt!

[cindersandroses]

Digital Get Down, Chapter 5

AUTHORS: cindersandroses ( losille2000 and cinderella1181)

CHAPTERS: 5/?

PAIRING: Actor!Henry Cavill/ Plus-Size OFC

GENRE: Romance/Fluff/HUMOR

FIC SUMMARY: When SuperHank met OrcPrincessPeach on the World of Warcraft message boards, it was love at first raid. Now, almost a year later, they’re ready to take the next step and meet in person. Half a world away from each other, both decide to meet in Atlanta for DragonCon, since she was already going to be there for her work as a game designer at Blizzard… never mind that she is a devout nerd. They both have to face the fact that reality is very different from a digital world.

RATING: Mature

WARNING: Mentions of assault.

AUTHORS NOTES: Love you all!

Also on AO3!

Chapter 5

Opal turned to the side as she looked at herself in the full length mirror on the back of the closet door. She smoothed the front of her dress over her rounded belly and picked at the slight ruching that was meant to help hide her imperfections along with the black color of the dress, but it did neither. There’d be no hiding anything. This was about as bodycon as one could get, and indeed she bought it a long time ago because she thought she looked hot in the form fitting silk. As soon as she got it home, though, and really looked at herself wearing it in the harsh light of day, she put it away, in the back of her closet with the other beautiful clothes she’d bought but never found the courage to wear.  

That was changing. Now. Today. Okay, not today. But as soon as she walked back into her house. She planned to go straight to her closet and pull them all out and wear each of them as soon as she had the right opportunity or occasion. Considering that most of them were on the fancier side of things, meant for dates, she figured she’d have more chances to wear them now, anyway.

Even though she and Henry would literally be halfway across the globe from each other after this weekend. She couldn’t dwell on that fact, though. If she did, then the sadness set in. She refused to let that particular emotion claw its way back. They’d make it work if it was going to work. It wasn’t like she couldn’t just take her computer places and work there.

If she could convince her boss to allow frequent trips.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t also spend part of his time in Los Angeles. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Henry walked by behind her, drawing her attention away from those troubling thoughts. He fumbled with the cufflink on his left shirt cuff. She was going to make a quip about it, but the words died on her lips when she noticed he looked at her like a fat kid looked at cake. He licked his lips, smiled, and walked into the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but blush. She never would’ve believed he was truly stealing glances at her, but that notion had been squashed earlier at the spa. In fact, now she was hyper aware of his long, molten stares. 

And it was all because of the wonderful esthetician who completed her facial after their massage. What had started out as a traumatic experience ended up making her feel the most confident she’d ever felt in her own skin, thanks in part to Jessa the esthetician’s enlightening conversation. 

“He’s looking at you like you are the purest water and he’s just had some hot sauce.” 

Opal giggled, and blushed, looking at the woman.  “I just keep thinking he’s going to be like, ‘Ugh, not my type’ and leave, Jessa.” 

“Girl, please. You got one of those peach bottoms that men love to get a handful of. You already got him eating out of your hand, he’s not stopped glancing over here this whole time,” Jessa said, putting her hand on her hip. “And if he does do that, I got a handful of fine brothers who would eat that peach bottom up. So you just let Jessa know and I’ll hook you up.”

The comment made Opal laugh loudly, disturbing the serenity of the spa and resulted in a few perturbed glares from other clients. Henry had glanced up, one eyebrow raised in interest. She smiled at him sweetly and he went back to his shave. Opal smiled. “Thank you, Jessa. I’ll keep you updated.”  

Opal had made sure to slip Jessa an extra tip, even though she was sure Henry had tipped everyone well. Stingy wasn’t really a word she would use to describe this man, not materially or emotionally. 

Or physically.

Definitely not physically. He liked touching. Being affectionate.

She did not; or, more aptly, she was not used to it in the romantic sense. But she wasn’t even that affectionate with her family. There were a few hugs here and there as a child, but they weren’t overly huggy. And then there was the other thing he didn’t know about, because she never talked about it, that prevented her from initially enjoying his touches.

It was getting easier, though, the more he touched her. She found, with some relief, that she actually quite liked being close to him in that way. Perhaps there was hope for her, after all.

Opal moved away from the mirror and followed his trail to the bathroom. She rested a hip on the door jamb and watched him finish his grooming. He saw her in the mirror and smiled. 

“Like what you see?” he asked, that insidious brow raised.

“Nah,” she said with a grin. “I was just thinking about how you use twice the product I do.”

Henry rubbed his hands on a hand towel to remove the remnants of whatever moisturizer he’d used on his freshly shaved jaw. “That’s because it takes a lot to make me look this good. You’re already bloody gorgeous, so you don’t need it.”

Her cheeks heated and she shifted her weight awkwardly on her bare feet. Why were compliments so difficult to take? 

“And as an answer to your question, I do like what I see,” she replied. “I appreciate your efforts. But I also love getting to just observe each other. That’s what we were missing over the last year.”

Henry stopped and smiled at her. “I watched you getting ready, and that’s why I’m so behind. I couldn’t stop watching you. You are enchanting,” he whispered. 

The air caught in her lungs upon hearing the deep gravelliness of his sentiment. He closed the distance between them. The hunger, the lust, the pain, the joy, the need, all passed across his face. He leaned down and brushed his lips across her temple.  “We’re going to make a hell of a couple tonight, Princess.”

“Yes, we are,” she replied breathlessly. 

“Let me finish getting ready. You are distracting.” 

Opal giggled. “Pot, kettle.” 

She moved away from the door and went back to the bed to struggle into the sky high heels she had thought would be great to wear, but now she regretted the decision to pack them. Her feet were going to ache by the end of the night. But--the minx inside her reminded--that could possibly lead to another massage. This time, just with Henry. 

As she finished up the last buckle on the strappy things and stretched her legs out to check how they looked, she noticed Henry watching from across the room with a glazed look in his eyes. She laughed at him, because it was the exact same look she’d had as he secured the waistcoat around his trim torso.  “This… me putting on shoes shut you down?”

Henry reanimated with a shrug. “I have a thing for really high strappy, almost slutty, heels. Nothing like…” He stopped and blushed slightly. “Uh, never mind.”

Opal stood up and went over to him, just barely shorter than him now, and grinned. “I will have to remember that for later,” she replied. 

“Oh, god, please do. Bonus points for silk stockings and the whole belt contraption,” he murmured.

She giggled. “You know, men and women are so different. You want the littlest piece of clothing on me, but I’d rather see you in a three piece suit.”

“I can fuck in a three piece suit just as well as I can without,” he teased.

His comment, and the harsh word, caught her off guard. Taking the opportunity, he went over to grab his cell phone. He beckoned her with a crooked finger. “Come here.” 

She didn’t ask for clarification or even think about it; her feet in their dangerous footwear moved of their volition. When she reached him, he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her head, all while snapping a quick picture. He looked at it, smiled, and turned it around for her to view.

Her cheeks were high with color. Her skin glowed; her eyes sparkled. Her smile showed almost every one of her teeth. Everything about it made her seem so vital, so alive, so… beautiful. She had never seen herself so happy. Simply being near him made her want to beam from ear to ear. 

He smiled softly. “Now you see what I see when I look at you.”

“I don’t always look like this,” she protested.

“You do,” he replied. “Let me send this to you so you can send it to Amber.”

Opal shifted uncomfortably. She’d completely forgotten about sending Amber a picture. What kind of friend was she, anyway? 

“We can’t bring our phones tonight,” he explained. “Something about making sure nothing unflattering gets out.” 

Opal looked up at him and nodded. “Okay. Let me just send Amber a text telling her I’m going out for the night.” 

She saved the picture to her phone and opened up the text stream with her friend. She took the picture, sent it, and wrote, “I don’t think I ever expected my Hank to be this real. Going out for the night. Talk to you in the morning.”

She plugged her phone in, stood up, and took Henry’s hand. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

 ~~~

Opal stood in the atrium of the Georgia Aquarium and sighed. She was enchanted. She’d been here a ton of times before at previous cons, but never on a night specifically designed to be an intimate cocktail party with all of the con’s celebrity guests.  

What actually was her life right now? 

Henry talked to Dany and Dwayne, and she couldn’t get over the fact that she was standing next to The Rock. How many times had she sat next to her brothers while they watched this giant man wrestle? If someone had told her this was going to be her life when she left Los Angeles the night before, she’d have told them they were lying. It was all a little surreal.

Dany smiled at her, obviously picking up on the fact that she had zoned out and had literal stars in her eyes.  “So, Opal, what do you do?” 

Opal hummed and blinked at her. “Yeah, sorry. I’m a designer and programmer for Blizzard. I have been there, oh gosh, almost ten years now. Best job I have ever had.”

“And you live with?” Dany inquired. 

Opal understood Dany’s reticence to accept her into the group. Dany didn’t want anything to harm the business, and even though she seemed tough, she clearly cared deeply for both men as friends. Still, though, Opal didn’t think she gave off a crazy fan vibe.

“My best friend, from like middle school,” Opal said, moving to stand closer to Dany. She leaned in to speak quietly.  “I know you’re worried about me using him, I get that, trust me. If I was in your position I would, too. But honestly, Dany, I didn’t even know he was him… until this morning when I arrived. I just thought he was a dorky British guy named Hank. That was it. In the months leading up to this I just got to know his heart and who he is, not Henry Cavill, God’s gift to women. I knew SuperHank, the cleric who runs around healing people, because he is that guy. I got to know the Hank who was shy and loved to cook and gets excited about Warhammer and new fantasy novels. Who tells me constantly that I am worthy and beautiful.” 

Dany beamed at her. “That’s just what I wanted to hear.” 

“And frankly, you scare me a little bit, so I won’t do anything untoward,” Opal said.

Dany laughed and flexed a bicep. “Don’t you forget it.”

“I won’t.”

“But seriously, Opal,” she said and grabbed Opal’s hand. “He needs someone he can love with his whole being, and I’ve never seen him happier than when he has spoken to me about you.” She squeezed her hand. “It’s not going to be easy, but I promise to make sure you’re okay and safe, and that you can be with him.”

Opal grinned. “He is pretty special.” She looked beside her, expecting to find him there.  “And... gone, apparently.”

Lauren smiled at her.  “He and Dwayne went to get some drinks.” 

Opal felt her stomach clench. She tried to smile, but before she could muster one, Henry was back by her side. He handed her a flute of champagne. “Here, Princess.” 

Opal took the glass from him and didn’t say a word. Her jaw clenched and it took everything in her to stop her hand from shaking. 

Henry frowned. “Is that okay? Do you want something else?”

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s fine,” she replied and tried to smile again. Even though she couldn’t see it, she knew it came off as more of a grimace because of the expression Henry returned. He knew something was wrong, but the words to explain it to him failed to form on her tongue.

Not that she really had the chance to say anything, anyway. A loud, booming voice rang out across the atrium, “LITTLE BRUDDA!!!”

Opal spun around and watched in abject horror as two grown men raced towards each other and chest bumped each other like drunken frat boys.

Dwayne shook his head.  “Seriously, you two? We’re in public.” 

Henry came back and smiled.  “Jason, my man, this… is Opal.” 

Jason looked at her, his eyebrow raised.  “Well, hello there, beautiful. I’m Jason…” He took her free hand and kissed the back of it. “If he gives you any trouble, let me know.”

Opal blushed. “Thank you. I will.”

Dazzled once more by the Man Also Known As Khal Drogo, Henry startled her with a hand on the small of her back. She looked up at him, still holding the flute from which she had not yet had a drop of champagne.

Henry leaned down into her ear. “Do you want me to get something else for you?”

She shook her head.  “No, I just, uh… I’m going to get my own drink.” 

She excused herself and headed over to the bar, trying to convince herself that she wasn’t running away from him and running away from the conversation she should have already had with him, even before they both decided to meet here in Atlanta. 

She wasn’t in line long when she felt his presence behind her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked again, concern written all over his face.

“I am, honestly. I just… well… it’s stupid. I don’t drink anything that I don’t see poured myself, and I very rarely drink alcohol in public. I should have told you. It’s just my hang up and, gah... I’m sorry I freaked out a little bit.”

Henry’s eyebrows knit together. He nodded, but he clearly wanted more. 

“Let me get my drink and we’ll take a walk and talk, okay?” she asked, hoping to smooth things over.

He nodded and stood quietly with her. Even though he was clearly confused and maybe a little angry, his presence was still one that calmed her and she found herself resting against his sturdy bulk as they waited. Opal ordered her cranberry juice in a martini glass. To anyone other than herself and Henry, it looked like a Cosmo. It was her fallback when she wanted to hang out with the cool kids but didn’t want to do what the cool kids were doing. Because that one time she did what the cool kids were doing? She lived to regret it.

She took his hand and started to walk through the first exhibit. Opal paused at a tube enclosure in the middle of the room full of jellies. A black light shone down into the water, illuminating the sea creatures as they performed a graceful, haunting dance around their tank. She stood quietly, Henry standing next to her, silent, thinking. 

Finally, she cleared her throat from the heavy emotion making it difficult to breathe. “I was drugged.”

Henry’s fingers curled into her back. Though he tried to mask the sharp intake of air, his gasp was still audible. “Opal, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because,” she said, just barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t just that. Amber and I were freshmen in college and I wanted to fit in. We went to a frat party. A guy we had art history with invited us.”

His anger was palpable; it wasn’t anger directed at her, though. Somehow, she knew that, as she stared at the gelatinous orbs bobbing through the water. She took a sip of the cranberry juice before moving on.

“I woke up the next morning, head fuzzy, in a room I had never seen before, and my panties around my ankles.” She braved a look up at Henry, to gauge his reaction. The sharp line of his jaw was set, his rage evident.

For some reason, it was cathartic to share this secret with another human. Amber knew, of course. Amber had nursed her back from the brink after they got home from the hospital.

“It’s the reason I pull away sometimes when you touch me, and the reason I am so unsure of myself. I’m sorry I never told you before, but you have a right to know.”

Henry didn’t speak; he looked at a point beyond her, staring in stony silence for the longest time. He finally tore his focus away from that point and gazed down at her. His face spoke volumes, even before his words did. He rested his chin on her head and wrapped her in his arms. “You know I would never, ever do that.”

“Oh, no, I do! I just… I want so badly for you to touch me, to be yours, I just need… time,” she said. “I don’t even know if I’m actually a virgin or not. I don’t know what they did to me. The next morning, Amber took me to the ER and a rape kit was done, but it was inconclusive. I’m sorry if this changes the way you feel about being with me.”

Henry pulled away from her and put his drink on the floor. He took her face gently in his hands. “I never, ever would feel any different about you. I just… I understand now.” He kissed her forehead, but didn’t move his lips from the spot they’d touched. His next words were muffled, but the meaning behind them was everything. “My promise to you is that I will not hurt you, and it’s all going to be at your pace.”

She smiled and pushed his hands away from her face. With her free hand, she reached up and let her hand rest on the nape of his neck. “Well, then, we can do this, cause I’m very ready for it.” 

With little strength, she pulled him down to her and kissed him. It wasn’t passionate or chaste; it was somewhere in the middle. A reassurance. A promise. Her promise to be as open with him as possible. His cue that she was okay with him pushing her boundaries. And she loved him for it.

[collisiondiscourse]

YOUR NEW ART PIECE IS MWAH. CHEFS KISS

Also for the question: do you have a specific method for choosing your colors?? I’m rlly bad at picking colors that work well with one another 😔

!!! HI AUSSIE MWAH I LOVE U N KISSA U ON THE CHEEK

i dont really have a specific method per se on choosing my colors? except i tend to stay on the warmer parts of the color spectrum!! i use a LOT of subtle gradients and overlay layers on all of my art, and i tend to stick to complementary colors for lighting!! (specifically yellow and purple)

now, just a reminder that i am FULLY self-taught with the exception of some online tutorial videos, so take my words with a grain of salt since im not a professional :D coloring guide under the cut !

the thing with coloring things digitally is that you rarely ever actually stick with the colors you first put down! its important to keep note that the best thing about digital coloring is that nothing is ever uneditable and you can always adjust the hue, saturation, and brightness of any layer. (for reference, i use FireAlpaca to do art :3 )

now, if youre familiar with my art, my drawings tend to be on the more vibrant colored side! i like colorful and light looking drawings for the most part and all my lighting/shading tends to be either very soft or colored.

one thing i almost NEVER do is shade with direct black.

Now, why is this so? Black is the color of shadows in real life anyway, and its much easier to just shade everything with black and fiddle with the opacity! by all means, black as shading makes the most logical sense.

But the reason i don’t shade things in black or even just move the color of the flat towards the darker end of the spectrum is because the tendency of the shading is that it ends up looking very... dirty. and grimy. and i dont really like that/have the ability to pull it off. so what i do is i use color theory (or, well, a butchered version of it.)

now, before we get into that--on the point of black shading looking grimy & dirty, im certain that there are some styles that can pull it off (like julia lepetit, a drawfee host and a content creator i absolutely adore!). but it really all depends on what kind of mood you want your drawing to evoke. If youre like me and use coloring to express the emotions of a piece and like very eye catching coloring methods, then its important to know that RGB SUCKS.

(For me at least.)

using rgb as your coloring reference tends to create a lot darker or muddier pieces which can be nice depending on your target/intention, but for the most part is terribly annoying. The solution to this (again, which works for me but not everyone) is that i choose to color with CMYK aka Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, Black. THIS is the color model i work with when coloring my flats.

Now theres a whole explanation for why CMYK and RGB are different and why CMYK appears better digitally and for printing things, but im a stem student and im tired as hell of hearing about waves and optics so yall can google that if youd like.

But basically! Yes. I use CMYK in most circumstances to make sense of coloring. Going further from there however, the way i choose what colors to shade/highlight with has everything to do with contrast and color theory. The common understanding i have is that yellow tends to be more adjacent to light while purple is closer to shadows.

NOW.

the basic system i have for coloring goes like this:

if the flats are warm, the shading and the highlighting is cooler. if the flats are cool, the shading and the highlighting is warmer.

for example: (flat color - shading - highlighting)

orange/skin tone - purple - yellow

green - blue - pink

yellow - orange - light blue

THEN i go a little more complex with midtones and what not in order to blend colors!! like with skin for example, i shade it with purple and ease the transition with red midtones. sometimes for fun i add some (subtle) cooler shades for a more painter-like effect.

Colors tend to reflect off of one another too, so i add soft gradients and airbrush very subtle colors unto different components. When im drawing a person for example, i airbrush some of the skintone very lightly unto the hair that frames the face to bring the piece together a little bit more!!

for final touches, i add things like yellow to purple gradients, the side of the light source being where the yellow begins. I also love fiddling with layer settings and setting things to overlay etc. because it unites all the colors a little bit more. I try to also adjust the colored layers to have less contrast between them so that its less of a rainbow eyesore lol

hope this answers a lot of questions!! if anyone wants a more detailed explanation ig, you can always hit up my kofi ;)

[miomediator]

Homestuck - Heart and Mind

Inner self and outer self

Content/trigger warnings: Heart: blood, decapitated heads, flashing colors, eye strain

Mind: flashing lights, repetitive looped gif

Very veeeery long thread!

Heart

I’m going to be honest, this is the more head-scratching (ha!) symbol of the 12, in my opinion. While the others immediately (or take a moment to) make sense, this one confuse me. Sure, it’s a cartoonish representation of a pink human heart.

The problem isn’t the main shape, but the right side of it. Beside the fact that it’s more original and eye-catching than a filled heart, why this gap, this wiggling line? But let’s proceed in order and take a more general approach first.

It’s a pink heart on a darker purple/pink background. The left side is filled, while the right side looks like a tail that coming in or out the shape. We’ll get into it a bit down below.

In pop and universal culture, people has always been show this embodiment of the heart. While many theorise about when and where it came from, a stable origin was registered during the Middle Age, as a pear.

Here’s an exempt of the theory:

“Historically speaking, the first known depiction of a heart shape, which can be vaguely considered as a symbol of love, was made in the 1250s. It appeared in a decoration of a capital letter “S” in a manuscript of a French romance called “Roman de la Poire” (Romance of the Pear). 

This miniature depicts a kneeling lover who offers his heart to a lady. This heart shape is similar to a pine cone, and it is held upside down (not in the usual position of the heart shape that we know today). Researchers only assume that the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden. The name of this novel is “Romance of the Pear,” so the object may also be a pear.”

The earliest depiction of a heart symbol as a symbol of love in a manuscript of the “Roman de la Poire.”

[Mio’s note: Roman actually means novel in french, and isn’t necessarily romantic. Though I guess it is in this context.]

It is interesting, in this paragraph the heart is both referred as pine cone-shaped and pear-shaped. The latter is extremely funny, has it reminds me of a famous fanon HS meme “Well this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped”, attributed to Dirk and the decapitation joke. He, in fact, never really said it in Canon.

If we indulge this banter, the pear-shaped heart would symbolise things that took a disastrous turn, and so negative and stressful elements such as anxiety, adrenaline (negative in this case, positive in others), heart pounding, leaving a weird and unpleasant sandy taste on your tongue.

But I digress.

What we actually need to focus on is that:

A fruit, the pear, has been associated to a love gesture, like a gift to express romantic affection to someone.

The pear is upside-down, as the text point out. Which is curious and worth mentioning.

“the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden”. So what is important it’s what is inside it, and so inside your heart. Which perfectly echoes with my subhead: Inner self.

The article continues, with Guido whom also depicted his version of a heart:

“Guido da Vigevano, a 14th-century Italian physicist, made some anatomical drawings of a heart that are very similar to the descriptions made by Aristotle. These depictions, along with the presumption that the human heart is connected with emotion and pleasure, transformed the heart shape into a symbol of medieval love.”

After this, a picture shows Charity incarnated as a woman, giving her heart to Jesus. While I won’t dwell on the religious implications, it is a metaphor of showing care and compassion to someone. Giving them a bit of your time, patience, and heart. In an extreme case, being completely devoted to someone in a strong way. 

Heart-bound fellows, despite the fact that they are concerned about themselves, are very people-oriented. They deeply want others to feel well and happy. Hence the expression being ‘kind-hearted/big-hearted’, and ‘work you heart out’. They put a lot of themselves into their hobbies, which they are passionate about.

After this, the article introduce the playing cards, implying that Guido had an influence on the decision to show a heart among the symbols:

The playing cards are even more relevant to this analysis, as their modern symbol are present in Troll romance. Here, the ‘clover’ is an acorn, the ‘spade’ a leaf, perhaps ivy, the heart is even more like the one we know nowadays, and the ‘diamond’ surprisingly is a small metallic bell. This set is dated from ~1540.

[Sources: this site about the origins of the red heart]

That was a (very) quick look at the evolution of the heart symbol.

I could go on and talk about Valentine’s Day, but it would be paraphrasing the site, and we have much more content to focus on. I invite you to take a look at said site and do some research of your own if you are interested about this peculiar bit.

Let’s go into more direct Homestuck content.

During the adventure, we are introduced to three Heart-players. Nepeta Leijon, Dirk Strider, and Meulin Leijon, in appearance order.

They all have interests related to feelings and love.

Nepeta has a shipping grid of her own friends on her cave’s walls and seems to be proficient in moirallegiance, a quadrant that require to be invested and devoted to their partner feelings. She had a crush on Karkat that she never confessed. Karkat knew but never worked the nerve to do something about it.

Dirk is engrossed by romance and smut, unashamedly draw his friends getting frisky (in a borderline-obscene way), is passionate about the projects he works on (work his heart out, sometimes literally). He was (and still is) madly in love with Jake. But by being overbearing and socially inept their relationship crumbled (while not being the only reason it didn’t work out).

[I love talking about Dirk, but I’ll do my best in this analysis to properly and equally split the content between Nepeta, Meulin and him] 

Meulin not only love shipping, she also gives directly advises to her friends, and acted as a matchmaker. She shipped several of the alpha trolls but according to Aranea, she focused on how cute a couple would be, instead on how and if their dynamic would work out. Her matespritship with Kurloz was cut short when he yelled in his sleep, deafening Meulin in the process.

Meulin talking about shipping the human teens, transcript from the Openbound game, part 2

The most obvious element they share is that they are zealous and unlucky in love. One would say it depends on the class, personality or aspect. They seem all correct assumptions to me.

Nepeta was the first to be presented as a Heart-bound character, the Rogue of Heart. So, logically, the design of the Heart symbol could be inspired by her.

How, you ask. Let’s take a look to Nepeta’s sign.

The ‘Leo’ sign, in human culture represents the constellation of the lion, with the circle as their head, and the loop as the body and tail.

Now looking back and forth to Leo and Heart: Heeeey! It’s quite similar. Can you see it?

Alright, that’s a good start. So the right side is like a tail. Let’s dig and look around Heart/heart. Heart is synonym of soul. Its symbol is a pink blood pusher. For humans it represent romantic love, our only ‘official’ quadrant. A red lover for trolls is called a matesprit. Sprit comes from esprit, which is the french word for spirit. So matesprit is a soul mate. But this term is used for another concept in Homestuck. A spiritual guide during the player journey: a sprite.

The link between the Leo and Heart sign is getting stronger. The circle as the head, the wiggling line as the body and tail. The sprite is a living spirit, a floating soul present in the physical plane. So the right side, the tail, is bound to the left side, the head. Meaning the soul is bound to the body. Oh. But what if it was detached from it? Yeeep, you know, I know, they know. This is why and how decapitation come into the picture.

Beheaded Dirk and Roxy hit in the stomach, from the [S] Dirk: synchronize

Jasperosesprite^2 prototyping Nepeta’s decapitated head in Jake’s kernelsprite

A kiss on the lips, which is seen often as a romantic gesture, is one of the resurrecting mechanism within SBURB/SGRUB. It transfers the soul from the ‘original’ body to the dream self, turning the latter into the main body. Separating the head from the rest of the body amounts to take away the soul, while throwing the head back (or any part of the corpse) into a kernelsprite recreate the link between the two. 

 A kernel is: 

“ a computer program at the core of a computer's operation system with complete control over everything in the system. It is an integral part of any operating system. It is the "portion of the operating system code that is always resident in memory". It facilitates interactions between hardware and software components.””

Source: Wikipedia

It’s a brain that bound the soul to the body, and is the core of the system, controlling it. So basically, the digital mind made in SBURB. One display among the several ones of the Heart/Mind duality.

So wait, if the head in this case is the soul, and looking back at medieval picture at the beginning (dude kneeling in front of a lady offering a heart) then Dirk sendificating his head in [S] Dirk Synchronize/Unite is really a romantic overture toward Jake (sacrificing a part of his self then Hal prompting him to kiss Dirk’s lips). Same for Jasperose resurrecting Nepeta by using her head. Damn. You two are smooth operators in the most disturbing way.

Another personal theory in my mind, is that pink ‘tail’ could represent how a person use and interact with their aspect.

Nepeta, as a Rogue, remove or give personality, passion and feelings to someone. 

For example she could appease a friend by removing their frustration. In contrary she could also give passionate feelings to someone who needs them. Such as in Ni no Kuni! In which the protagonist Oliver takes a piece of somebody’s soul (what is called emotion or virtue) to give it to someone who needs it. Those people are referred to “brokenhearted”.

So the wiggling tail would be something introduced or take away from the soul.

Dirk, as a Prince, has shown having the power to completely remove someone’s soul from their body. 

And for that, he doesn’t like his abilities, exhibiting him as a ‘cartoonish villain’ like Voldemort (splintering his soul into horcruxes) or Xehanort (putting part of himself in the Organization members). Though he could remove and grab one of his friend’s soul to save them from a close death. See the fan comic Double Death of the Author by The Lifetime Channel on MSPFA, and the fan fiction Defragmentation by Katreal on Ao3.

In this case, the tail would represent the soul being slowly removed.

Meulin, as a Mage, have an understanding of people’s strong feelings, especially romantic ones. 

Her ability is to read, feel and use her knowledge to help her friends figure out who is better suited for them. Meulin’s powers are similar to a diviner, allowing to form or break a couple. Perhaps with practice and reaching the God Tiers, she could even perceive red threads of fate which bound two lovers regardless of the location and time. The manga Bound Beauty (sorry, no english Wikipedia page) features a young lady with the ability to see those strings, usually invisible to the eye. She uses it at her advantage to coach her classmates, in exchange of money.

In this case, the tail would represent the red/pink thread of fate, coming not from the pinkie, but directly from the soul.

Heart-bound recommended Lyricstuck: What do you want from me by Pink Floyd

Mind

Watch as I make as much Mind puns as possible :p

This one is easier to read, which is also why it will be difficult for me to write a substantial section about it. Let’s start with the obvious.

It’s a vivid teal on a bit darker green background. Same as the Heart aspect, it’s more likely that the palette has been inspired by the first revealed character related to Mind: Terezi Pyrope, from the Teal caste. The shape is composed of an orb surrounded by three hook-like tails connected to the center. What effortlessly come to mind (ha!) is an organic cell, from the brain.

Picture source: https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/784048616363923971/

Neurons allow and facilitate informations to navigate in the brain. 

It’s:

an electrically excitable cell that communicates with other cells via specialized connections called synapses.

Source: Wikipedia

Information goes from a neuron, through a synapse to another neuron. An idea leads to another, connecting bits that turns into the big picture. The Mind aspect seems to share the concept of data with the Light aspect. The differences are that Light focuses on the most fructuous parts, ones that lead them to victory, while the Mind-bound works with choices and a mindset, in a more wide range, then narrowing the paths.

Terezi using her vision to s33 what action leads to which outcome, searching for the most fitting one.

Rose insisting that Kanaya come along the 3 years ride, while explaining and guiding Kanaya to make her narrowing her vision of “victory”.

So both Seer treat information, just not in the same way. 

The outcome still remains ”I want to advance toward a certain reality and I help others to reach it as long as they follow my instructions”. The inconvenient blind spot (sorry for the involuntary pun) is that they hardly can use those abilities for themselves. Either we don’t witness it on-screen, or they barely do it in the first place (a good example is the retroactive continuity during the GO timeline).

But let’s end the Seer detour here. Back to the Mind aspect itself.

We have a whole system going on in our own head. When I try to look for something, if I don’t find it directly, then I turn to something related to said information. Like an indirect research on the internet. If we don’t pay attention and don’t try to understanding our mind, as well as others’, we just end up being frustrated and lost.

The thing is you make your own world, with every action, decision, it creates a new path full of possibilities. The words you say or keep to yourself, acting or staying put, it all matter. Grasping and managing to own it, and you’ll have a better grip on your reality. It’s not my Aspect, I do have trouble making decisions and take responsibilities, however everybody needs to go through it.

The within interacts with the without, the mind to the outside word. We are always worried about how others perceive us, what kind of depiction of the self we convey. So we desperately put filters to the point of exhibiting falsehood of a personality. While introspection is observing ourselves, extraspection is perceiving things that are outside our mind. Hence the outer self, complementary to the inner self.

Terezi perfectly get how people work, and can manipulate them with ease, in contrary to Vriska whom doesn’t want to and go for mind-controlling them. Joke’s on her, her ‘mind’-control is proof that she fails in this peculiar category, since Terezi doesn’t need any psychic powers to convince someone to do and give the info she desires.

The big contrast contrast between Vriska and her, is that Terezi looks and determine what matters or not, while Vriska force the odds to be in her favor, shamelessly stealing fortune from others. She doesn’t even want to understand or try, she is a cheater and proud of it.

That was the link and differences between Mind and Light.

Let’s take a look at the Heart/Mind duality again. Both seem to share a connection with electricity.

Terezi gazing at the sky of her planet, the Land of Thought and Flow

It’s no secret that the connection between neurons are often compared to electronic chips. Cables canalize and facilitate electricity’s flow, to power devices, to link ideas and data. Or just used as raw energy.

Brain-not-so-ghost-anymore Dirk trying to rip Aranea’s soul

Lightning seen from a building roof on Dirk’s land

While the electricity for the Mind symbol refer to synapses, for the Heart/heart, also called blood pusher, would allude to cardiac nerves.

Bec Noir preparing the Red Miles to be thrown at the Genesis Frog

Instead of thoughts, it’s blood that navigates in the ‘roads’.

For the Heart-bound, the lightning represents the chaos that are emotions and sensitive intuition. While for the Mind-bound the lightning is order, reasoning and cold logic that strikes to bring justice, whether said justice is deem fair or not.

Let’s talk about a famous movies series in which among the core themes resolve around the Mind/Heart duality: The Matrix

Each building, tree, person are made with an inimaginable amount of lines of code

The Matrix spoilers ahead!!

If you’re not familiar with this trilogy (or haven’t watch it in a while), here’s the plot:

//Thomas A. Anderson is a programmer for a big software company, and in parallel is Neo, a hacker that illegally provides contraband programming. Agents in black suits caught up with his activities, but in truth approached Neo because a renowned hacker, Morpheus, enemy number one according to Agent Smith, contacted the programmer. After offering to clean his criminal record in exchange of helping catching Morpheus, which Neo refuses, the agents violently implant a snitch in our protagonist.

Neo wake up in his bed, believing it was all but an awful nightmare. Appearances are deceiving, as ‘dream sequences’ are layers on layers on reality. The resistance group calls him again, setting a rendez-vous under a bridge to help him and answer his questions, if he is willing to cooperate.

After a lot of hesitation, snitch removal, and the insistence of one of the member, Trinity, he finally accept and follow the group to go meet Morpheus.

There, Neo is given a choice, The Choice if we’re going with Homestuck comparisons: 

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Morpheus, Matrix (1st movie)

By choosing the take the red pill, Neo accepts to unplug himself (literally) from his ‘reality’ and see the truth: the world he lives in is all but an illusion, a huge program that is the Matrix, blinding humans to a make-believe 1999 year, used as living batteries, harvested and enslaved by the machines. Humanity is in ruins, and a war between people and machines has gone for a whole century.

Morpheus tells him that they believe he’s ‘The One’ and he has the power to stop the war. From the real world, Neo will train to reinforce his mind, going back into the Matrix and fight different enemy programs. While constantly being undergo introspection, looking for what to believe, who he is, questioning his values and acts.\\

From there I’ll go back and worth to Homestuck and the movies to point out the similarities and support my choice.

I’ll begin with the Mind aspect first:

Millions of human beings are plugged, treated as programs that have a function, along with providing a great amount of energy to the machines. Stuck and having their body atrophied, their brain is connected to the Matrix. The program control everything of their life and vision, from their status in society, to their physical sensations.

"What is real? How do you define real?" asks Morpheus to Neo. “If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." As I quote farther above, reality is something that isn’t there, but rather something you make. With Morpheus’ quote, my interpretation of the Mind symbol being neutrons and synapses is consolidated.

After being blinded by Vriska, Terezi way of ‘seeing’ shifted. Slowly, her perception of things changed and she grasped on a new light her reality.

She didn’t need eyes, but expanding her mind and freeing herself from the vision that clouded her. Navigating inward and outward, understanding what she felt, her inner self and outer self, back and forth. But it wasn’t perfect, no, she had and still is working on it, as she can be blinded by either cold logic or passionate feelings. Neo and her have the same weakness, they both are in love and it obstructs their mission. The dilemma is exhibited in [S]: Flip, where she has to choose between letting Vriska go, exposing the whole team to Jack, or killing her to protect her friends.

Terezi, on the path she let Vriska go

Vriska in her ancestor outfit, fitting Jack in one reality

A painful sacrifice is needed to be able to go forward, a reality in which most of them survive and has a chance of winning the game. A necessarily path that she regretted.

Neo with the Architect in the secret room, the screens displaying the different paths his reactions could take (Matrix: Reloaded, second movie)

In Matrix, Neo has to reach the source of all the program to reinstall the previous version of the code. The first time, he has a small range of opportunity, only a few minutes gap to access a secret room that would allow him to reach the source, among the city of machines. There, he encounters the Architect, a program whom function and personality is based on the creator of the Matrix, and have a chat with him.

Six others chosen ones preceded him, and all failed to accomplished this mission.

Why? “Choice. The problem is choice” answers Neo. Because unlike the Architect, Neo is a flawed human being. He can’t just brush off his feelings, he’s in love with Trinity. The latter despite asked not to join him plugged herself back into the Matrix allowing him to get safely into the secret room. With that, she exposed herself to an inevitable death. And so Neo took the door that lead to his lover, enabling within him a miracle that resurrected Trinity. 

Here was a couple of paragraphs about the dance between duty and love, cold logic and passion.

I’ll continue with the Heart aspect:

I talked about love and romance until now, but let’s take a look at another side of the Heart. The identity.

After taking the red pill- Neo turns his head and gaze at a mirror.

It’s shattered. The symbolism here shows that he’s lacking a part of himself, something that scratch him without being able to put his finger on it. Soon, right before his eyes, the mirror mends itself. Because he chosen the truth, the path that would lead him to understand and find himself.

The mirror is of course, a reference and call back to Alice, mentioned shortly before by Morpheus. No no, please forget about any cartoon, especially Disney’s version of the story. And focus about the sequel book: “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There”. It’s a curious, deep and tricky book. I would know, I read it twice and I’m still confused.

But I’m sure of one thing, the adventures of Alice has always been about introspection. First in chapter 1, Alice imagines for fun that the mirror in the living room lead to a parallel world. Like Neo, she touches the mirror and engages into a journey. In chapter 3, in order to cross a giant life-sized chess board (UH HMMMM UNCANNY!) she takes a train. 

“There she forgets all nouns, including her own name. With the help of a fawn who has also forgotten his identity, she makes it to the other side, where they both remember everything. Realizing that he is a fawn, she is a human, and that fawns are afraid of humans, it runs off (to Alice's frustration).”

Source: Through the Looking-glass (wikipedia)

[going through the book itself would have been too long]

The train might symbolize the course of life, or a part of it, in which an identity crisis occurs for Alice and question what is and what does it means. I’ll even say that this temporary memory loss put aside all differences and precedences, perhaps reflecting a class hierarchy, between Alice the human and the fawn, or the rich lady and the poor.

Back to Matrix.

Later in the movie, our programmer encounters a woman called the Oracle. She can see some events according to her grasp on human psychology, but never beyond a choice that she cannot understand, not even hers. The Oracle isn’t here to predict the future (even if she can), but to assist and guide those who picked the red pill. She does sound like a Seer of Mind :]

Upon meeting her, she asks him “do you think you are the one?” to what he respond “honestly I don’t know”. She then point behind him, toward a mantra hanged above the threshold: Temet nosce, which means “know thyself”.

The introspection will continue through all three movies, a wild tango between certitude and doubts, self that leads to a choice, from a choice which leads to who he is, the two are intertwined and indivisible.

In Matrix: Revolution (third movie), the final battle between our protagonist and his alter ego take place. Rain is pouring, thousand and thousand of copies looking down at him, the sky is dark, and Agent Smith step away from the crowd, so the fight begins.

Remember the paragraph about the lightning? The sky in this scene is quite reminiscent to Terezi Land’s electric atmosphere, and even more Dirk’s, has his planet is covered be countless empty green buildings in ruins.

The scene portraits perfectly the confrontation between order and chaos, good and evil, selfless and selfish. I could go on and on but I think y’all got the concept, and I nicely fill an even bigger word quota, with the two aspects balanced.

Source for the screenshots: Fancaps.net, here and here

Mind-bound recommended Lyricstuck: Dog days are over by Florence and the Machine

[skepticalcatfrog]

Among The Stars Chapter 4

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Summary: Logan Watts is a famous scientist, known by almost everyone in the galaxy. His most famous invention is his friend and assistant, a healthcare android named Patton. When they are called to another planet for a meeting with the local ruler, they're expecting a completely normal trip. Little did they know, this trip would send them into a daring adventure to protect their galaxy and stop a war. Teamed up with unlikely friends, including a runaway gladiator and an infamous crime trio, Logan and Patton have to figure out how to make peace and save their universe (and beyond) from being destroyed.

Pairings: (Eventual) Logicality, Prinxiety, and Demus

Word count: 3,068

Author's Notes: The last three chapters were mostly introductory, but in this one things are finally starting to come together!

Logan stared at the sky, dumbfounded. His last chance of escape was gone. Patton was gone. He had to do something, to figure out how to get off of this planet. He speed walked out of the parking lot, not wanting to run so he didn't draw too much attention to himself. He walked up to the first person he saw, a woman with purple crystals around her eyes.

"Excuse me, does this planet have any type of public interplanetary transportation?" He asked. 

The woman glanced at him and walked away. He figured that there wouldn't be any point in following her, because if she didn't answer the first time then she wouldn't answer if he asked a second time. He approached a second person, a man whose eye color shifted through different shades of pastels and had round glasses resting on his nose. He kind of reminded Logan of Patton.

"Hello, I apologise for the interruption, but is there any public transportation on this planet?" He asked.

"You're Logan Watts, right?" The man asked. Logan nodded. "I'm sorry, but we're not supposed to talk to you."

"What? Why?" Logan furrowed his brow.

"None of us know, if I'm being honest with you." The man shrugged. "The president broadcasted a city-wide announcement a few minutes ago, he told us not to talk to you."

Logan let out a cry of frustration, which caused the other man's eyes to widen. "Of course! Of course this is his fault."

"O...kay?" The stranger raised one eyebrow. That also made Logan think of Patton, because the android would always make fun of him for his inability to raise only one eyebrow. "I have to leave, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you right now."

The man took a few steps backwards before turning around and speed-walking away. Logan couldn't blame him. He looked around at the surrounding buildings. A library, a supermarket, the presidential building, the arena… a mechanic. He sprinted down the street towards the shop. He burst through the front door to find the mechanic inside, with no other customers.

"Can you get me a ship?" Logan said, trying to catch his breath.

"Who's asking?" The mechanic crossed his arms. Apparently this guy didn't recognize him.

"Logan Watts." He answered. The mechanic started to say something, but Logan held up one finger to stop him. "I know what you're about to say. You aren't supposed to be talking to me. But I really need your help, and if you just give me a ship then I'll be out of your hair in five minutes. I promise that no one will ever find out."

"I don't sell ships, but chances are I can get you the parts to build one." The mechanic told him. "That is, if you have the money."

"I do, and I'll pay in full as soon as I get what I need." Logan shot back. He knew how to build a ship, he just needed supplies.

"I have a shipment of parts coming in next week. Think you can wait until then?" The mechanic asked.

"Alright." Logan nodded. The circuits on his face started glowing, and he made a digital note on the mechanic's computer. It was the code for his phone. "Contact me when it gets here."

He turned around and walked out the door. Everyone seemed to be ignoring him, which was actually very helpful. It would make it easier for him to keep a low profile that way. He went to a few stores to buy supplies, then to the edge of the city. He walked far enough away that he'd go unnoticed, but close enough that he could still see the city. Then he used his supplies to build a small shelter. That would probably last him a while.

Sure enough, a week later he got a notification on his phone. The message was an unknown number, saying that the parts for the ship had arrived. He went back into town and back to the shop. There were two large boxes next to the front desk that hadn't been there last time.

"Welcome back." The mechanic said. "Everything's here, and there's a blueprint in the box."

"Thank you." Logan nodded. "How much will it cost?"

"6,000." The mechanic answered. "Plus an extra 100 if you want something to carry the boxes with."

"Done." Logan's face began to glow again. A little machine on the desk beeped, and the parts had been paid for. He left with the boxes, which were sitting on a metal plate floating behind him. He brought them back to the shelter he'd built and got to work.

~2 months later~

Logan wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. He stood up and looked at the ship. It wasn't anything special, but it was done. There wasn't even a second seat. Hopefully it would start. He opened the door on the side, sitting down and hanging his jacket on the back of the seat. Then he shut the door. He took out his phone and made it track his ship. Not the pod that had been stolen, but the main ship where his lab was. He balanced his phone on the steering mechanism. He pressed the button next to it, and he heard the engine start up. A rare smile crossed his face. The ship lifted off of the ground and he travelled out of the planet's atmosphere. Finally, he was on his way back home.

It didn't take long to get back to his ship, only as much time as it had taken to get to Xialea VII in the first place. He was lucky that his ship was stationary most of the time. He parked the new pod in the space where the old one had been previously. The second he was safely inside the ship, he practically tripped out of the pod and bolted to the stairs up to his lab. He fell into his desk chair in front of his computer and began typing frantically. He had given Patton a built-in tracking device a long time ago, if he could just get the signal then he'd be able to find him. And Logan knew how to get the signal in under a minute. A map appeared on a screen, with a tiny blue dot in the middle. That dot was Patton. Logan never knew why he decided to make it blue despite the fact that Patton was gold, it just felt like it should've been blue.

Based on the location displayed on the screen, Patton was currently located on Planet #739049287193. It didn't have a proper name because of the non-existent population. But now Patton was there, which meant that other people must've been there as well. However terrible the situation was, it was admittedly smart of Patton's captors to bring him to such an isolated planet. The trip would take two days, but he didn't have that kind of time. He would have to take the whole ship, that way he could travel using hyperspeed. Plus Patton would have a home to come back to right away. It was a flawless plan, in Logan's opinion. He transferred the data of Patton's location to the monitor in the pilot's bay. 

Once he got there, he sat in the chair at the front of the room. He turned on Autopilot and typed his desired location into the search bar. He switched the ship into hyperspeed. The surrounding landscape became blurry as the ship began moving faster. Within minutes, everything returned to normal. He looked at the surface of the planet below him. It could only really be described as unpleasant. A shroud of gray storm clouds covered the sky above him. The ground below appeared to be solid rock, stalagmites rising from the ground. Some of them were taller than others, some even looking like mountains.

Logan opened up a screen that would give him a closer view of the ground. It was the same all around, and it was so boring that if he wasn't doing something important then he might've fallen asleep. It took a while to find anything. And when he finally saw something, it wasn't what he expected. Near the base of one of the taller stalagmites, he saw what looked like a person cleaning a motorcycle. He stopped the ship, and the person looked up at him with wide eyes. Apparently a giant ship being parked above you is easy to notice. He opened the trapdoor that was behind his chair and climbed on to a ladder as it was being lowered to the ground.

When his feet touched the ground, he started walking. The stranger in front of him stood up from where they'd been kneeling next to the motorcycle. Upon closer examination, Logan noticed that this person had scales. But only on half of their face. Logan approached them and held out his hand.

"Hello. My name is Logan Watts. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?" He requested, waiting for a handshake and an introduction.

"Dalton Sanders. Sure, shoot." The stranger answered. Logan quickly drew back his hand. He was talking to Dalton Sanders, the infamous thief. He narrowed his eyes.

"Have you seen an android around here recently?" Logan asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Took you long enough." Dalton snickered. Logan tensed up at the sight of his fangs. "Come inside, he hasn't stopped talking about you for two months."

"Are you serious? No protest or anything?" Logan raised his eyebrows. That only made Dalton laugh even more. Logan was already starting to get tired of this guy.

"Not at all. We'll give him back, we just needed you for something. He was actually really nice to have around, he's good company." Dalton turned around and started walking away. Logan followed him through a door that he hadn't noticed before, into a large cavern.

"Logan!" He heard Patton's voice from the back of the room and saw him jump up. The android ran towards him and tackled him in a hug, holding on tight. Logan was surprised at first, but soon settled into it. "I missed you."

"I can tell." Logan said, a hint of happiness in his voice. "I came to bring you back."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Patton pulled back with a smile, which quickly shifted into a frown. "But… there's just one thing I need to talk to you about. I-"

"Hey, hi, I'm Remus. Sorry for the interruption, but I have a question for you Mr. Scientist." A new person said, his tone revealing that he wasn't actually sorry. "Why do you not have an accent, but the android that you build does?"

"What? He doesn't have an accent, I would know, I programmed him that way." Logan frowned.

"Okay here, we just listened to you talking, now listen to him talking." Remus gestured to Patton.

"I don't have an accent. At least, I didn't think I did." Patton said. Turns out Remus was right, Patton had a very light Southern accent.

"How is that possible?" Logan muttered, talking to himself. "He developed feelings a long time ago, but I never expected this many changes to his programming…"

"I'm sure it's not that big a deal, Logan. Everything that's happened so far is minor." Patton reminded him.

"I suppose you're correct." Logan nodded. "There isn't a point in dwelling on minor issues."

"Speaking of issues, can we go back to what I was talking about before? Even though this is kind of a big issue." Patton requested.

"Of course, what is it?" Logan regained his focus.

"So, you know how a while ago I was talking about wishing I could meet another android? Well, it happened. But he really needs our help." Patton told him. 

He brought Logan further into the cavern, stopping in front of someone sitting in a desk chair. Logan could tell immediately that he was looking at an android. A very damaged one, from the looks of it.

"Can he speak?" Logan asked. The android's eyes began to glow purple. Patton pointed to the computer.

"No I can't. But I can do this if you want." Words appeared on the screen.

"He can connect to the computer." Patton explained quickly. Logan nodded.

"Alright. Firstly, what is your name?" He asked.

"I don't have one. They call me Anxiety, but I have a number too." Anxiety told him.

"And what is that number? It could be a code for something." Logan looked at the computer screen as numbers started appearing.

"229187912."

"Okay." You could tell Logan was concentrating. "If you split that up into sections, it could be letters. 22-9-18-7-9-12. If this is intentional then those numbers could turn into a name. The 22nd letter in the alphabet is… V. 9 is I, and that appears twice. 18 is R. 7 is G. 12 is L. So when you put those together in order, it becomes V-I-R-G-I-L. Virgil."

"Virgil." Anxiety smiled widely. He'd never had a real name, only ever his nickname.

"Do you want us to call you that now?" Dalton asked.

"Definitely." Anxiety (or Virgil, rather) smiled even wider. Dalton's heart soared seeing him so happy.

"Now, on to the next order of business." Logan brought them back to the current task. "What specifically is wrong with you?"

"I can't talk, or move. I have a glitch in my programming, but I don't think that's fixable." Virgil told him. "Basically, what I was built to do is predict outcomes. But the glitch makes it so that I can only see the bad ones."

"And how long have you had that glitch?"

"I've always had it. That's why I was a prototype."

"So, can you fix him?" Remus asked, a hint of hope appearing in his voice. Logan realized that all eyes were on him.

"Yes, yes I can." Logan sighed. "Patton, the ship is outside. Can you bring them to my lab, and make sure they don't cause any trouble?"

Patton nodded. "Come on, guys. We can take the motorcycle up to the ship, that'll make it easier."

As they left the cavern, Logan couldn't help but wonder why Patton was being so nice to them. They were criminals, not to mention the fact that they'd literally kidnapped him. It was just like Patton to remain optimistic in the face of danger.

Once everyone else had gotten to the ship, Logan took out his phone. He'd gotten to Patton, but he still had one more thing to find. The stolen escape pod. When he got the tracking signal, he couldn't believe what he saw. For one thing, the escape pod was on the very same planet. But the dot that showed its location was jumping around the screen. It didn't seem to be going in any sort of pattern, but it would occasionally come back to the same spot. Logan decided that must've been where it was. It wasn't even that far away, only a couple of minutes of walking. Once he got to the ship, he saw it right away. That was one thing he expected. One thing he didn't expect was to have a sword pointed at him right away.

"Who are you and why are you here?" The stranger asked. Based on his appearance, he was from Xialea VII.

"My name is Logan Watts. I believe you stole my ship." Logan answered. The stranger's eyes widened, and he lowered his sword.

"I did, and I'm really sorry about that, but I promise I had a good reason." The stranger explained.

"And what exactly is that reason?" Logan said skeptically.

"I… needed it." The Xialean said. Logan rolled his eyes. "It's true! It was a matter of life and death. You see, I'm… a prince! And I really needed to leave the planet, because I didn't like it there at all."

"But you're Xialean. They don't have royalty, they have a president."

"But you see, that's the thing. I'm not from Xialea VII, I'm from Xialea VI." He lied, hoping Logan wouldn't catch on. "That was the original kingdom, then some of the citizens broke away and made the city that became famous. I recently took a trip there, but apparently they still have some sort of grudge against us. I'm Roman Northbrook."

Roman was telling so many lies, and he knew it. But it wasn't like he was ever going to see this guy again. This was his chance to be who he'd always wanted to be, even just for a few minutes. At least he'd told the truth about his name.

Logan didn't acknowledge the introduction, simply moving on to examine the escape pod. It was completely broken, and had clearly been crashed. No wonder the tracking device hadn't been working.

"Okay, you know what?" Logan turned back around to face Roman. "Come to my ship with me. I'll bring you home, and you clearly need supervision anyway."

"Please don't take me home! I can't go back, they'd probably kill me for running away in the first place." Roman told him. At least that last part was true. "I can be useful, I'll be like a security guard or something!"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Logan began walking back towards the main ship. Roman followed him, not really knowing what else to do. The moment they got back to the ship, everyone was staring at them.

"Who's the new guy?" Dalton raised his eyebrow, pointing to Roman.

"This is Roman Northbrook, he is the person who stole my ship. He'll be staying here for a while." Logan explained. Roman waved awkwardly.

"Cool." Remus smiled. "Don't worry, some of us steal things too."

Virgil didn't have a computer to connect to, but he would've been to busy staring to say anything anyway. It was quite possible that this was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. He looked away quickly. If androids could blush, he'd be as red as the streaks in Roman's hair.

Logan looked around at the group in front of him. He'd come to this planet expecting to get Patton and be on his way. Instead he'd gotten Patton, two thieves, a broken android, and a runaway prince. What was he getting himself into.

Taglist: @idkwhyimhere0o0 @icequeenoriginal @mostpeopleannoyne @007ardra @logan-is-my-spirit-animal

[twilightvolt]

And so, another year has come to pass.....almost. ^  ^

Remember when i said i was branching away from Digimon back when i drew up Venom fanart? y’know, “I wanted to be more than what i used to be.” that being “a Digimon artist.”

2019 was basically just that. lots and lots and LOTS of fandom hopping.

If last year was me recovering from the pain and crippling anxiety of 2017, then this year was me finally getting up again, learning to stand up and live for myself rather than in fear of those i shouldn’t care about anymore. life still hasn’t been too kind to me even though, compared to last year, we’re in a better space. but i’ll get into more detail about that while i go through everything month by month on the clock.

Before we begin, if you’d like to see the previous years, here’s the links!

2018:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/181732950569/i-kinda-was-saving-this-for-when-i-had-the-time-to

2017:https://twilightvolt.tumblr.com/post/171806337539/a-3-month-late-art-summary-featuring-art-that-i

Might wanna grab your popcorn, my dudes. this is a long one.

January: On the Web

Coming out of 2018, things were pretty ok if i remember. i don’t remember much from this month aside from a few doodles i did like this one from when Spiderverse was the hottest thing. this was one of the last things i drew in my old style. before i decided to officially change things up in the next month.

February: Gotta Kick it Up

Pokemon Sword & Shield were announced and things were hype! oh, how things soured as the months went by. lol

But yeah, this was me taking that experimental sketchy pencil style from that Smash Bros. drawing and rolling with it all the way! it’s become my new go-to style and even though it’s still hella sketchy at times, i feel like it looks better in comparison to my old ink outlined drawings.

March: The Overdrive Dweebanoids

Oh right. my old Ben 10 phase that lasted for a millisecond in 2016 returned with a vengeance. and it was glorious. lmao

It spawned an AU that i didn’t delve into much, but if i ever get that spark for my favorite alien watch bearer, i’ll get back to it.

April: True Blue Lizard Bois

My Ben 10 streak continues and i was crankin’ out art left and right for it. i luved all the “doodle dumps” i made, but this drawing was wholesome and i picked it because of that.

To some extent, this could be a comparison between my past and my present. that being Overdrive!Ben being what, at the time, was my current obsession while Digimon!Vivi was a representation of where i used to be, back when i was starting out and entering Digimon OCTs on Deviantart.

May: Return to the Realm of Sleep ~HD ReMIX

Now THIS i feel was one of the grandest drawings i’ve done this year. hell, i even made a wallpaper out of it.

like, it was just a redraw of an old drawing from 2017. but to me, it was a way to tell me just how far i’ve come since then. and i couldn’t be happier.

This was also the month i rebooted my DA after a long time of inactivity!

....Iiiit didn’t really work much, but i’m still working on it. though i highly doubt it’s worth it considering most of the ones i used to hang with there are either people i don’t wanna associate with or people who left while i was gone. seriously, it’s a ghost town there.

June: Art Fight 2019 ~Dreams Vs. Nightmares~

Ahh, my second year of Art Fight. for this year’s event, i wanted to be a tad more grandiose. like drawing up this banner. i like being extra and stuff even if it kills my drawing hand, so yeah. lmao

...

Florida thunderstorms are friggin’ terrifying. idk HOW anyone can get used to that.

July: - BREAK DOWN -

Oookay, it was hard picking my favorite attack this year cuz i pretty much was satisfied with all of them. but i had to go with this attack because the artist i drew it for was someone i really admired for years and i’m just happy i could finally have an opportunity to draw them something. like, i luv how it came out, so yeah.

This was also the month i forced myself to finally do the thing and let go of the constant fear i felt towards certain people i used to hang with. while remembering 2017 will never NOT hurt, i can’t let that fear rule over me forever. i have to take control and not let it stop me from doing what i want. and that’s exactly what i did.

August: Ricky ~Sapphire, Emerald and AlphaSapphire

Oh yeah! after Art Fight ended, i returned to Pokemon randomly cuz i wanted to go back to my roots for a moment. revamping Ricky, formerly Ragna, and Yagami was something i’ve been meaning to do for awhile and it reignited a waning love for a series i started growing distant towards since Gen VII.

I used to really like Ricky’s old design even though i barely ever used him. but i guess this just shows how much more original i’ve gotten in terms of character design. ^  ^

September: Heartbeat Inferno

Now, i haven’t really talked much about what’s been going on life wise for most of this post, but trust me when i say irl, things weren’t really.....happening. like, it’s hard when you live (or rather, lived now) in a place with little job opportunity and you have NO experience whatsoever. the lack of progression must’ve hit something in me, so the week i drew this was me just....shifting moods, feeling everything at once. one day i’d be agitated as hell, the next i’d be so depressed i took a some odd hour nap and didn’t wanna get out of bed. like, for most of this year, i haven’t felt this stressed out and frustrated with myself. so this sudden crash was kind of....unwelcome.

But this drawing was a fresh change though, if i’m being honest. i’m not usually this uncaring about how clean the coloring job is, but i like it! i’d choose that other drawing i did for my friends’ birthdays, Skirmish at the Cable Club, but this one had a more personal drive behind it.

October: - PAPERMOON -

beastarsbeastarsbeASTARSBEASTARS--*COUGH COUGH AHEM* I MEAN....hai. :D

Continuing with my Pokemon shenanigans, i drew this big piece which was something i had in my head for years now, but never actually acted upon it cuz i always felt it was too big of an idea to work on. i’m happy i’ve managed to capture what i envisioned originally.

As for interests, i’m sure most of my current followers can deduce that i quickly shifted gears to Beastars as soon as the anime was released and so far, i regret nothing. it’s spawned a metric butt ton of new art from me and the way i see it, this phase ain’t stopping as long as this series continues. brace yourselves fam, i believe i’ve finally found the successor to my Digimon phase. lmao

Like, damn, i had a tough time choosing art for this month. i was stuck between this, - SMILE/WILD SIDE - and Slip Into Madness. so many good drawings i was satisfied with, y’know?

November: The Future is Now

I was SO planning on putting something else here, but then suddenly i just kinda had this urge to redraw that uggo gouache painting of Miyagi from highschool. and it turned out so good that i had to. like, really. lmao

As with the redraw of Dream Drop Digital’s key art, it was a reminder of how far i’ve come since then art wise. and i feel like i’ve accomplished so much this year because of it. ;w;

December: Winter Lights

And now we’re back to the present time. after over a year or so of living in Florida, we’ve moved once again back up north a bit. yet another clean slate, but things seem to be looking up despite the rather large bumps in the road the past week or so. lately i’ve been feeling that seasonal depression starting to set in, but i think i’ll be fine as long as i stay positive. cuz y’know, it’s not being happy all the time. it’s just knowing that things will get better someday.

One of the other reasons i drew this drawing was cuz i REALLY wanted to have something Beastars related on this clock. this series (and Legoshi in particular) really inspired me, so i had to leave a wedge open for my boi.

Looking back at the beginning of this decade (as 2020 would mark the next one), i realized that the 2010′s were basically me becoming more artsy. finding enjoyment for a new hobby that quickly became something i’m now more passionate about than video games which i didn’t think would EVER be the case.

Funny enough, it all started in the RP section of a little forum for an MMO called Wizard101. i was only in middle school at the time and, to tell you the truth, i had no idea i’d be going at it for this long. thought i’d just do it on the side but not really delve into the art world more.

But despite all the trips and falls, fandom drama or otherwise, i wouldn’t change anything if it meant i wouldn’t have the friends who’ve stuck by me in the aftermath of those times.

I may not be really succeeding in much, but it’s the small steps in life that matter most in the end. these past few months in particular was me getting fed up with feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things i was interested in in the past, getting over my regret and making plans for starting something new even though i know i’ll suck at first and not worrying so much about how others might perceive me.

And just like how life was changing for our resident grey wolf this first season, mine seems to be doing the same. and i believe this decade ended on a better note than i thought it would during the past couple years leading up to this.

Here’s to a new decade! ^  ^

~ For a future I want to believe in. ~

[rolypolywl]

Welcome to day 15!

So, earlier this week I’ve been talking about motivation. And now I’m going to help you with all those steps that we established.

So one of the things the experts recommend is to make a plan and another is to track your progress. It might seem like working out or eating better is all you need to lose weight, but it turns out that there is a lot of prep and continuing… paperwork, for lack of a better word. If you really want to commit to losing weight and getting healthier, and you want your best shot at succeeding, then the “paperwork” is kind of important.

You’ll want to spend a little time journaling in advance, and then some kind of tracking throughout. You might also need/want to return to the journaling as you progress.

So, basically, there are two ways to do these things; analog and digital.

I’ll start with analog. So if you’re more inclined to this, get yourself a journal and/or calendar and/or planner.

I like journaling for the “why” kind of things. You can find all kinds of journals with blank, lined, or dotted pages on Amazon or in any book store. I also keep finding gorgeous journals in places like Michaels. There are even ones with motivational or fitness-related covers, if you want a little extra inspiration.

Another great thing is that you can get them in different sizes and thicknesses. Do you want an index card sized one that fits in your pocket, or a large paperback sized one that fits in your purse? Or a full on notebook sized one that’s in the 8.5 x 11 range? What will you actually keep track of, keep handy, and return to?

So that’s for the journalling side. For the tracking kind of things, I really like a school planner. Even when I was in school I had trouble finding the kind I liked. The kind where you’ve got the month at a glance and then the week breakdown, so you can track in multiple ways. I could always find one or the other, but it was tricky to find both. For this, I like Mead, especially their tropical beaches version. And you can find it both in the printer paper size, small size, and the pocket sized.

As it happens, Roly Mama and I are doing a variation on this right now. We got a big desk calendar

which we’ve hung on the wall, and some great ridiculous stickers from the dollar store. So we’re tracking our workouts on this by adding stickers when we do something.

Now, this is just for our workouts and activity, not for food or anything else that we should be or are tracking. But if you’re an analog person, seeing a calendar full of stickers can be really motivating.

You can also combine these things into something like a bullet journal. And I’m going to sorry - not sorry - link you to buzzfeed and these two great articles on bullet journals.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/how-to-start-a-bullet-journal

https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges/all-the-bullet-journal-ideas?bfsource=relatedmanual

Bullet journals, if you don’t know, are a way of kind of combining calendar, list, and journal into one gorgeous hybrid by people with way more time and way better penmanship than me. They are inspiring to look at, even if I can’t imagine crafting one half as well.

I will, however, recommend my favorite pen: the PaperMate InkJoy. I’m normally not a fan of ink pens instead of ballpoint because they can bleed through, but these don’t bleed as badly as many I’ve tried. And they come in lovely colors. And they have decently soft tubes, so they don’t hurt your fingers. I love them!

Now, personally, I have switched to digital for my scheduling needs, because I do way too much rearranging and copy/pasting, and it made my physical schedules look all messy. I tend to vacillate between two options.

The first is Evernote. I love the way I can do tick boxes, and I can color code the text.

I also love the way I can sort notes into folders and give them tags. Plus I can clip things from online, draw on it, and/or add pictures! Downsides are that columns are non-existent, and that it can get a bit hard to find notes if you have a ton in a single folder or tag.

The other one is Google Drive, which I love because I can access it anywhere. And for that I tend to use Google Sheets, because I can rearrange it really easily. I can also color code both the text and the boxes. I also can see a bit more at a glance than I can with evernote. (Because of the aforementioned lack of columns)

There is also apparently a digital version of bullet journalling, called Good Notes, which I just discovered and have yet to try out. If you have, let me know what you think!

Another thing that can help with our weight loss and health goals is tracking our habits. Again, this is the kind of thing that you can track on a calendar or journal, but you can also go digital.

Now, there are also some great apps for this kind of thing. I currently use Habit List.

I love that you can reorder the habits, and you can set them to be daily, on a certain day of the week, or so many times a week. You can also backtrack to fill them in, and look at a month-at-a-glance. If you are on top of your habit, the little bubble is green. If you missed yesterday, it is yellow, and if you are more out of date it is red. Oh, and ones that are optional, like “once a week” are grey. You can even have it send you a reminder at a specific time for a habit. The only downside I have for it is that you can’t archive a habit. You can either change it, or delete it and all of your past check ins.

Another one is Habitica.

Habitica takes your daily chores and turns them into points in an RPG. It isn’t as customizable as I’d like, but if you’re into sprite era gaming, RPGs, and rewards you might love this one.

Atracker lets you color code your habits, and it will show you your habits on a daily calendar or a pie chart. It has an interesting twist wherein you actually can “start” a habit. And then stop it when you’re done. So you can see how much time you spend on something. But, for habits that aren’t really time specific, or things like meditating as you fall asleep, which you can’t “stop”, this might be less useful. And if you forget to turn it off, it can screw up your numbers. But I do like the daily calendar breakdown aspect of it.

Productive seems to have the best of Atracker and Habit List, with color coding and month-at-a-glance calendars, but you have to pay $30 a year to use it.

There are lots of other habit tracking apps, like Coach Me, Noom, and Any List, so check them out and see what works best for you!

So, these are general habit trackers. But there are also more specific tasks. Now, I’ve already talked about tracking your water specifically, and tracking your exercise and activity as it ties to a fitness tracker.

There are also exercise and diet specific apps, which I am doing a whole episode on as I get to food. But there are a bunch of them. So you can keep track of all of those things to keep yourself motivated.

Again, this is if you want to do it with apps. You can always put all of these things in a physical journal or calendar too.

Finally, one of the recommendations was to celebrate successes, and to have a positive attitude. I have two apps I recommend here, for different reasons. One is Happier.

This is great for posting basically short tweets to the Happier app about things that make you happy that day. You get a little toss of confetti when you post it, and others can smile and comment. The whole app is geared towards positivity and supporting each other.

Now, that’s not to say you can’t post something emotional, or if you’re having a bad day or something. In fact, you can, and you get great support from the community. You can post multiple times a day if you want, and some people seem to post a dozen times every day! You can follow people whose posts you like or find inspiring, and they can follow you.

The second app I like for this is HappyFeed.

The goal of this app is to basically make a 3 item gratitude list (or happy list) every day. It is private, so no one else sees your posts, and there’s no social aspect. But it helps you build a habit of looking for the positivity and gratitude in life.

I had actually made a goal, because I had been told to in self help books, to note three things I was grateful for every day. And I was doing that in my daily “to do” list or my note app. Then I found HappyFeed, and it fit that goal perfectly!

So these are both great apps for celebrating your successes and for keeping a positive attitude. Check them out!

This is also the kind of thing that can be fun to put on a calendar or journal that you can look back at, if you prefer more analog. Again, I really like making it pretty with colorful pens and stickers and things. It should be something that you can look back at when you’re in need of some extra motivation, so pick something that will motivate you!

So, that is it for today.

This has been Roly Poly Weight loss. As always, I am your host, Roly Poly. Please share your motivations, and your roadblock plans, with the hashtag, #Motivation. And join my social group for support and maybe a little friendly competition by @-ing me!

And please join me next time!

[soysaucevictim]

Let’s just say it’s been kind of a roller-coaster...

-

May 14

I got up at around 7:30 AM.

One of the first things I did while at the facility was checking in with my case manager about the job offer (and tuning up my resume).

Seeking Safety Group went okay. And I spent much of the rest of my time there drawing and socializing.

Once I got home, I spent some time gaming, watching YouTube, poking Twitter, and fretted about the job app. Mostly was getting hung up about the company webmaster switching app versions [to what looks like an older version] when I wanted to refill it out with better penmanship. Only difference was the header’s logo, typeface, and slogan were different (same company name & requested info).

As far as exercise went, all I managed to get done was the DD... and it was pretty late. 2′ raised leg elbow plank with EC (1′/1′). I got through this by the skin of my teeth. Not having enough sleep beforehand didn't help matters. I'm just glad I got through it at all. orz

I also spent some more time drawing, alongside aforementioned non-productive stuff before getting to bed.

-

May 15

I got up at about 10AM today.

I poked YouTube and gamed while I waited for a call by my case manager to pick up my physical app and resume. But after awhile, thinking he was hung up with something... I just decided I would submit it all digitally (and tell him not to come).

I was then roped into playing some more rummy with the family, which ended in a sour note. (I’ll just say it involved alcohol being mentioned.)

After a few hours of the usual and partially filling out a paratransit app, I then did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 lunges with a twist with EC. I technically did this one twice, since I was twisting in the wrong direction. Head's been a bit scrambled, today. Anyways, I'm not big on lunges but I do like twists. :,D

Second, Day 16 of the YCal. Today’s video was “Yoga for Mood Swings“. This was a lovely practice with some enjoyable twists and stretches. The meditations are with revisiting... what with the tumult lately. I’ve been having a lot of off days, recently...

Third, Day 17 of the YCal. Today’s video was “Rainbow Yoga“. This was fun in a sort of child-like way - as it was one geared “for all ages”. I very much enjoyed the sequence as a whole (hips enjoyed it)! I visualized the colorful butterfly being green and purple, and kind of chuckled about the prompt. :,D

Fourth, Days 16+17 of the PWC. 6′30″+2′ of march steps. I counted 655 and 205 steps taken for the respective segments. A bit distracted, but alright.

Last, Day 16+17 of the 1′MC. Reasonably relaxing.

One of the last “productive“ things I managed to get done for the day was doing some dental research. Sparked by a surge of distress after the right side of my jaw popped really loud. Had me think of how long I’ve had been having to chew anything remotely crunchy with my left, ever since that filling I had.

I wound up staying up too late to get to bed at a reasonable hour, but I hope to ask around about the dentists others have had experiences with (and follow-up on that job app.)

-

May 16

I only woke up early to say I wasn’t coming to the facility. Too tired and it was getting too late to get everything ready to go.

I got up proper at about noon.

Was up to the usual stuff. Completely forgot about the new episode of iZombie again and got really mad at myself for it. I really wanted to catch it, but was reminded of my feeling overwhelmed and stressed probably being the main reason... even wound up looking at an article to gain perspective over it.

All I really managed to get around to doing as far as exercise went was the DD. 100 flutter kicks with EC. Later than intended. Dealing with a lot of things lately and frazzled to say the least. Making myself do this is helping a bit. Very manageable load. orz

With a clearer head, after some dishes, I decided to see if the CW website had the new episodes I missed available... and they were! And it did cheer me up to be able stay up to speed. (Was a bit scared that there would be a paywall or just teasers. A lot of channels seem to pull that kind of nonsense.)

-

May 17

I got up just before 1PM.

I’ve been spending most of my day with the usual noise. But I did also make dinner & catch up on my exercise (even though Fridays are supposed to be “active rest” days).

First today’s DD. 3′ leg raise with EC (lat. decubitis, 1′30″/1′30″). Was only starting to get tough in the last few seconds per side, but I found it enjoyable and fun.

Second, Day 18 of the YCal. Today’s video was “Let it Go Yoga Flow“. I also found a good deal of enjoyment in this sequence and also probably should work on letting a lot of shit go, in all honesty. I think one of my favorite little exercises in here was swinging the arms side-to-side - it’s great to get some kinks out of the back. Definitely a video worth revisiting. =w=

(After largely getting distracted by MH research... and poking around this website wrt the whole dental thing... it looks really promising.)

Fourth, Day 18 of the PWC. 7′ march steps. I counted 707 steps... and I wince at how late I wound up doing this (past 4AM... damn).

Last, Day 18 of the 1′MC. Was pretty fidgety... because of the late hour. But 1′  of meditation is never a bad use of time (for me).

With this, I really need to wind down and get to bed. Pronto.

[universal-kitty]

Aki’s Commissions- OPEN

   You know, it’s been forever since I’ve ever brought up the fact I do commissions? And that they’re open? And have been open since I first wanted to do them, but have never had the offer taken up?       (I also added my Ko-Fi on my page, too. Apparently, I never did that here.)

   So here’s a reminder that I do commissions~ Read all about what I can make for you under the cut!!

.: Art :.   Sketches [ Example (BLOOD WARNING) ]   Pencil [ Example ]   Lineart [ Example ]   Colored [ Digital/Traditional ] { Traditional || Digital }       -Bust       -To Waist       -Full Body   Icon [ Example ]   Character Design [ Example 1/Traditional || Example 2/Digital (NSFW warning!! Kinda? Nothing too graphic, really) ]   Music Comics [ Example ]   Animation [via Flipnote Studio] { Example }       -Simple       -Complex .: Stories :.   One-Shots   Chapters   Scripts   Character Bios .: Will Do… :.   -Writing~NSFW (both smut and gore, though I am unsure how good my violence writing is)   -Couples/Pairings [ OC/OC, Canon/Canon, OC/Canon, Self Insert/Canon, etc. ]   -Animals/Furries   -Robots (Art-Selective; Writing-OK!)   -Selective kinks (Art-Depends; Writing-Probably, please ask me via message first)   -Writing~Reader Insert   -Art-Bases (I can create bases for you; I won’t use em, though!) .: Won’t Do… :.   -Art~NSFW (actually this is more of an ASK ME kinda thing; I might, I might not)   -Incest   -Triggering topics in general (by that, most awful things like rape)   -Art~Drawing complex robotics   -In general, just ask about what I will and won’t do

.: Prices :.    Now prices all depend on what you’re requesting of me and what it involves. At the moment, art costs more than writing, for example; so that commission of your character with their significant other will cost you more as a drawing than if I had written a story about them. This is mainly because on a good day, writing for me is a lot easier than drawing, since I can focus on writing more without tiring, as on the other side… It goes on and on, so it’s easy for my attention to scatter.    A full, traditional art piece will most likely go from $20-25, with sketches being $10, pencils being about $15, and lineart settling at a price most likely around $17. Though again, this depends on the commission placed. A pencil drawing of Wheatley from Portal 2 isn’t going to be the same price as say, a Zora from Ocarina of Time, also done by pencil.    Animations also work on this basis, though with the added element of how complex or simple you want it to be. Simple is limited movement; hair in the wind, blinking and smiling, blink-and-blush, etc. Complex delves into wider movement, like a turn of the head to the viewer to make a facial expression, smiling and waving, drawing a sword, etc. Anything that draws out body movement will probably be considered complex. Since this will be done on Flipnote Studio and not an animation program, coloring is unlikely, but open to request. However, I will hold my right to notch up the price for a request for proper, digital coloring and not the FS color palette. (Mainly because the latter is a lot easier to use than the former.)    There’s also now an option I recently added called "Music Comics". Depending on tune and break, they’re usually about 70+ pages, but… You know, that varies. Seeing as these projects will take awhile and shift in price with the complexity of your character… I might shoot these up to at least $35 ~ $45+ at a base price. It’s going to vary a lot depending on page numbers, if you want animation parts done (only parts, it’s a ��comic” for a reason!), complexity of the character(s), how many characters, and way of coloring. (These will be made on Flipnote Studio, most likely, so price is lower if you use FS coloring or slightly higher if you want me to use Photoshop colors.)    Character design will likely stay in the $20-25 range, as they will have full body shots and colors to go with them, which can be edited slightly by the owner, of course.       These also can apply to customs! I will gladly make you an OC- fandom related or not- as long as you specify you want this and a custom character! Outline as many or as little details as you want and I'll get right on it!!    Digital art is also an option, as I own a tablet now! However, my personal laptop is down, so while I can still complete these commissions, they will take longer than others, due to not having use of my personal laptop. The prices will probably stay in the $15-20 range as well, as I feel I am not up to standard with my art in that area as of right now. Icons are about $5 at the least! Might alter a bit depending on complexity. –    Story writing! As with the above, prices vary on subject matter and length.

One-shots will likely be placed at $10-15 at most, seeing as how it’s a straight plow-through to an end goal. 

Chapters will hover at $10-15, though may jump depending on what you need me to write and for how many chapters. 

Scripts (often for voice acting) may drop to $5 or even hop up to $15, again, depending on length and details needed. 

Character sheets would go up to the $10-20 mark, as it raises the question of what character, for what, and if any templates I already use would suffice. Like the reference sheets for art, they are welcome to slight alterations by their owners if my choices don’t suit the character they envisioned. (Just don’t go nuts on me, here.)

–

   Also… I do voice commissions! If you ever need me to voice something, I am up for just about anything! Check this tag on my Tumblr for the voices I have done in the past or this list of voices I can do for easier browsing. Voices vary depending on request, with the most basic sitting at $5-10. I can’t image that they’d get any higher than $15, but… I am also open to being hired, as well! Just ask about that, my Ghosties~!

–

   On a final note, I am also open for being hired for writing solely. If you feel my writing is good enough for a story you envision, but have trouble expressing? I’d love to write it for you! Need a BETA reader for a chapter coming out? I’d love to read it over! I’m also open to helping with plot details from books to gaming and, on the latter note, am also open to writing things as a script for games as well.

   (What separates this from commissions is commissions being a one or two-shot thing; I do the work you ask of me, done! Being hired by you is me sticking with you on a project until it’s hit completion and we all go out for a celebratory drink…whatever you fancy, LOL.)

–

   On the last note I shall give you all before you can either stop reading and run away (or maybe actually stay and commission; that’d be rad as heck), a format kind of like the one I’m about to lay down when asking for commissions from me would be awesome! It saves me from questioning everything and dragging out the order longer than it should be.

   What you want (art/story), with what/from what (your OCs/a fandom/a canon), with details of commission, followed by specifics, reference, and then a send off. Feel free to add more/less, depending on the commission you’re asking of me. Alter to suit your needs!

EXAMPLE

“Hey, Aki! I wanted to commission you for a drawing of my proxy OC! I wanted it to be a bust drawing in digital, with color and transparent background. Nothing special, but maybe have them give an intimidating look would be nice? You can find her reference here! [LINK] Please message me back with a price when you can, thank you!”

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #29

That’s almost a hundred.

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

The Times They Remembered Pidge Was a Girl by MagmaWrites Words:  1,639 (WIP 1/?) Author’s Summary:  The stuff you have to deal with while being a girl doesn't change just because you're up in space. At least you have four guys, five lions, and two aliens on your side. My Comments: Super cute space family being super cute.

Reach out for you (break these walls) by Utsukushin (UserFromPluto) Words: 9,139 Author’s Summary: Keith is trying to make himself smaller, to bury his head deeper in his knees, and Lance’s heart freezes in his chest. Anger dissipating like an exploded firework, Lance lets his hand fall limply to his side, mind blurring with static. When he tries to speak, nothing comes out but a choked noise, so he tries again.“Keith,” he breathes. “Keith I’m not going to hurt you.” (Keith has an abusive past, but with time and care Lance helps him become accustomed to positive touch.) My Comments: Klance, but reads mostly platonic. Lance just cares a whole, whole lot, and he’s very gentle and very careful and sweet, and the way Keith just sort of BLOSSOMS under the sunlight of his regard is beautiful to watch.

Garrison Days by castlestormed Words: 4,093 Author’s Summary: Snippets of the kids' Galaxy Garrison days: Hunk keeps things together, Pidge plods on with a purpose, and Lance tears through life with the audacity of a trainwreck. Fic 1: We were only talking. (Lance) Fic 2: Are you done ranting? (Pidge) Fic 3: We had a reason that day. (Hunk) My Comments: Great interpretation of my favorite trio. Just a joy to read.

The Machinations of Perception by HapaxLegomenon Words: 11,518 (WIP 5/23) Author’s Summary: Matt Holt has been a Galran captive for... he doesn't remember how long. He's starting to lose hope of ever escaping, and is well past the starting point of losing his sanity. My Comments: This one is intense and brutal. The rating is deserved, though it’s delicately handled. Take care if you have psychological triggers. That said, I’m very compelled by this version of Matt and his struggles to hold himself together so he can TRY to take care of his new cellmate.

Tell Me Something, Anything by wingedflower Words: 1,875 Author’s Summary: Shiro wakes up from a nightmare with his Galra arm hurting like hell. He is ready to handle this alone, like always, but this time comfort comes from an unexpected source. My Comments: I love it when Lance is out of his depth but still tries really, really hard, because he just cares so much and he can’t not try. He does succeed in helping in the end, and Shiro is grateful.

Ache by Zurela Words: 3,790 Author’s Summary: Lance's knee gets dislocated during a fight with a new robeast. He decides to ignore that for the sake of protecting his teammates, but Shiro doesn't seem to agree with that idea. My Comments: Here, have some more Lance whump. I never really get tired of it.

A Bright Light by Bandity Words: 9,412 Author’s Summary: Lance gets injured on a mission gone wrong, but that was really only the beginning of his problems. My Comments: Possibly my new favorite fic of all time, definitely my favorite of this list. Lance just deteriorates so FAST, and the scenario is so creative and cool, and the support of everyone else as they try to figure out the problem and fix it and help Lance through it is wonderfully steady and strong. Great Hunk, great Shiro, great everyone, and there are several images in this story that are gonna stick with me for a long time. Powerful stuff.

Everything You Are by Bandity Words: 5,508 (WIP 1/2) Author’s Summary: Follow up to Disappear Completely. Spoilers for Season 2. Lance was getting better, he really was. But when faced with losing another team member, he might just end up back where he was before. My Comments: Sequel to my PREVIOUS favorite fic of the list, and this one is so good, too. I loved the levity in parts and the way Lance at the end draws Keith into his world. But in the middle is a whole lot of pain and grief from missing Shiro. Absolutely heartwrenching.

let my roots take flight by BathosBardess Words: 3,362 Author’s Summary: “Katie, you're fourteen.” “Pidge Gunderson is seventeen. He has no family. He graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I'll be fine, Mom.” // Katie Holt never meant to be a problem child. My Comments: Great Pidge backstory with some really powerful language and touching scenes.

For The Love of Quiznak, Just Let Us Take Care of You by inkbadger Words: 2,876 Author’s Summary: Shiro gets sick. Of course, he doesn't realize that he's sick until it hits him like a truck.Or: Space Dad gets taken care of by his worried kids.Who sometimes want to throttle him for not sharing these things. My Comments: Super cute space family being super cute, this time featuring sick Shiro.

Heirlooms by mackerelmademedoit Words: 6,333 Author’s Summary: Something is wrong with Red and Keith just can't figure it out. As her consciousness bounces backwards and forwards through time, Keith does a little time travelling of his own and remembers his father. My Comments: Great Keith backstory, but I also love this one for the Keith and Coran interaction.

Deep Breath by Vialana Words: 1,164 Author’s Summary: Envy is an ugly emotion. Lance hates it. Shooting things helps him deal with it. My Comments: Really lovely Lance and Blue. I love them so much.

Constellation by WildWolf25 Words: 4,109 Author’s Summary: Each of them are like stars in the vast, cold, darkness of space. But when they come together, they form a constellation, and suddenly the world doesn't seem quite so dark anymore. My Comments: Paladin cuddle pile! Always good.

Disturbance by buttered_onions Words: 18,915 Author’s Summary: Shiro is missing. Lance is determined to find him, but first he has to figure out how to work with Keith.Direct sequel to First Steps. My Comments: HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS MORE OF ONIONS’S STAR WARS FUSION. It’s so so so so so good, ahhh, SO GOOD. I love the way the Force is practically a character, communicating with and connecting the others. I love how Pidge is introduced. I love Hunk and Coran. I love Lance’s perspective and how he tries to mend fences with prickly, hurting Keith. I love all the premonitions of much more dangerous and weighty events in the future. I love the internal journeys, GOLLY, I love internal mindscape journeys so much, used to write them al the time. ANYWAY, it is a good fic, you should read it, and everything else in the series so far.

Why do You Always Flirt with Me? by xSomedayxSoonx Words: 5,279 Author’s Summary: The Voltron team is learning how to get along with each other in the Castle of Lions, but Allura can't figure out why a certain paladin won't stop flirting with her. She doesn't mean to snap at him, but Lance stopping his flirtatious behavior affects the whole team. My Comments: Oh man, I love fics where Allura and Lance become friends. I love how this one is more about cultural misunderstandings than anything else. Good stuff.

Midnight Sneaks by windscryer Words: 2,809 Author’s Summary: Hunk and Lance just happen to be awake when Pidge wanders into the kitchen at oh-dark-thirty. And they have delicious mousse and freshly whipped cream.If she weren't so tired, she'd have definitely caught onto their plot sooner. My Comments: I love love love Hunk and Lance teaming up to take care of Pidge, even against her will.

The Stars Are Underground by lady_ymmik Words: 2,452 Author’s Summary: A short drabble in which Lance misses home and rambles about Space a lot. My Comments: Sweet emotional h/c featuring Lance and Shiro. What’s not to love?

All the things I can't change by WonderBoy Words: 1,186 Author’s Summary: voicemail (n): 1. a system in which callers can record and leave a digitized voice message 2. a message left using this system 3. a reminder My Comments: This one hurts a lot.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

As Color Fades Away by IcyPanther A Dream Away by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Stardust, Silk and Steel by CalicoTomcat Truce by kyanve Shifting Sands by Cardigan_Quincy Someplace Like Home by squirenonny Secret of the Blood by exclamation Masks by TiedyedTrickster The Garden of Heaven by Genesister (papirini) Lost in the Stars by WingedChickadee Coming Undone by Emerald_Ashes Playing Catch-Up by 5557 Love and Other Questions by squirenonny The Color Of Our Planet From Far Far Away by LonelyGirlInSpace

[golshxd-blog]

Welcome to the results of this month’s “Loved Ones” challenge. The idea was to send in photographs of things, objects, ideas, places … we love and fear might one day disappear out of our lives. Or about loss and disappearance themselves. Not only that, but photographs made in such a way that the love would shine through the photographs to the readers viewing them, even those who feel nothing about the subject.

  Incy Wincy

  Once again, this was very difficult. Not only because you were asked to reveal something about yourself, something intimate, but also because it is so hard to convey an emotion to someone else when we are ourselves locked into it and lack the objectivity to think formally.

I love those practical exercises. They are infuriatingly hard but so efficient to push us upwards. Always the educator at heart, right 😉 Kinda strange, coming from someone so bad at being educated himself 😀

Anyway, as always, I am blown away by what some of you have sent in. To me, the ability to convey a variety of emotions while retaining a consistent style is the hallmark of a great photographer and that’s what I’ve been observing in many of your contributions over the months. Some are moving, others are thought provoking. Great work.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to create/find images and sending them in for us to enjoy. Since the photographs on this page are very personal I will refrain from any commentary and simply publish whatever texts authors agreed to link to the images. On with the show.

(as always, I’m stressed out about forgetting someone’s work. Last time it was Kristian and this time, I have the feeling someone sent in just one photo, and can’t find it, and it’s nagging me. Please accept my apologies if your contribution isn’t in here and just drop me a line in the comments so I can correct my mistake …)

  Philippe Berend

  Philippe writes : “Here are my first pictures. They embody or symbolize, or represent nature. The unbelievable, almost painful, unbearable beauty of it. I worry that, one day, most probably through man’s folly, it will be gone like the dodo bird…

    The second theme is Paris. The song says, “Paris sera toujours Paris”. But if Notre-Dame can burn, what is really safe, really there “forever”?

    The third theme is: beautiful fast cars. Could it be that, in order to perserve what is left of our planet, we have to give up these extraordinary objects of beauty, desire, thrill and freedom? Could it be that I have been part of the last generation to have ridden a Ferrari at 265kmh on a motorway?

    The fourth theme, of course, and it ought to be the first, is my mother, who will in just over a week turn 98, God willing. I love her, and, know for a fact that she won’t be there forever. I hope you will forgive me fo not putting up her picture, which I consider private. Nah, the real reason is, the years are not always kind to faces of loved ones. And she, for sure, would not forgive me, for putting up a picture of her in her old age, when she was once so radiantly beautiful… And the Bard said “hell hath no fury like a woman posted on DS against her will….

  Michael Fleischer

  Michael writes: “a photo of a place dear to me – the lake close by where I grew up I Denmark – where I spent my youth fishing, swimming, kissing and more…”

  Jean Pierre Guaron

  Jean Pierre writes “The first was taken with my Pentax, c. 2002 – my second Dobermann, Chloe. I’ve always adored this photo, and in fact it’s my screen saver, in front of me every day. It’s not 100% SOOC, but it hasn’t had much post processing, because in those days I had limited access to post processing software (ONLY PS Elements, in one of its early iterations) and very little knowledge or experience with digital processing. Actually it was scanned onto the computer, from AGFA color negative film and given a bit of a touch up from there. I love the colours, the bokeh, the typical expression on her face – and she was my best friend, except for all the others.

    The second was one of many, taken at a time when my friend Kath’s older Dachshund Bella seemed to me to be nearing the end of her life.  Without wanting to alarm Kath, I started taking photos of Bella on a regular basis, so that when the inevitable happened, at least she would have some decent photos of her little girl, to remember her by and to ease the pain of losing her. 

    My present Dobermann, Cris – taken with the D500 and a zoom AF lens (AF is an overwhelming reason for not going with the larger gear, like the D850 and the Otus’s)”

    Brian Nicol

  Brian Writes: “I have always wanted one of the classic thunderbirds. We lived in California around 2000 for about 5 years. I was driving my wife’s car by myself and say a late fifties red thunderbird convertible approaching in the opposite direction. It was like a scene out of American Graffiti. I did not notice traffic has stopped and I drove into the back of a 70’s Volvo with the giant bumper that wiped out the grill and rad of my wife’s car. I have even more emotion now when I see a pristine thunderbird.”

  Pascal Jappy

  I suppose starting with the most endangered is probably the most in line with the challenge.

So wildlife it is. I love wildlife and the outdoors. My life is largely indoors, these days, but recent hiking photographs by my son reminded me just how much I miss it. Anytime something is wrong, being out with (friendly) wildlife just makes it all go away.

    Art. Probably not at any risk of disappearing. Our societies are crumbling faster than sand castles at high tide at the hands of populist devils. It’s sad and will only get sadder as the years pass.

But the great news is that art thrives in those conditions. Not paintings made for oligarch wives (although the concentration of money in the hands of a few does make that market happy as well). Real Art, made by people freed of their smartphones and tired of Facebook. People willing to think about life’s meaning from up close.

    I love London. It’s a ridiculous city, architecturally, with stuff sticking out of other stuff in every which direction. “A man tired of London is tired of life” wrote Samuel Johnson and that’s certainly true from a photographic perspective. A hundred times or more, I’ve visited, never have I made the same photographs twice.

    Traveling. I love it. Particularly with family. Environmental concerns make it a little harder to enjoy without feeling some guilt these days, but it is probably the last luxury I would like to give up 😉

    Astronomy made it easy for me to cruise through school. Whether we had a lesson about some murderous hero of the past or about the damping of springs or about some really important protein that makes monkeys fart (I wish) or about the dative of comounds, my note books were full of drawings of telescopes, and buildings, and telescopes and planets, and telescopes and stars …

To me today, astronomy symbolises time. The time I’m no longer making to observe and read about the heavens is time stolen from thinking about the deeper meaning of things, stolen by the mundane and unimportant. Life slipping away.

    Oh, and what’s life without a cat? Why not forfeit cookies and milk while we’re being barbaric. I mean …

    Bob Kruger

  Bob writes : “The sarcophagi in Key West, FL are not buried, as the water table is too high. So the burial chambers are stacked like cord wood so they will not float off. A weathered flag keeps watch.

    Jim used to rent a “villa” every winter in the Conch Republic, aka Key West, Fl. I memorialized his veranda during his last visit.

    I took this picture of an abandoned fish house from around the corner where I once lived in Pamlico County, NC, an un-destination if ever there was one.

    How many childrenonce traveled to school on this relic, now forgotten,in Florence, NC.

    Family cemeteries tell their own stories.”

    Paul Perton

  Paul sends this series of portraits without words of this wonderful land he has to leave behind for a while. No words are needed.

    Nancee Rostad

  Nancee sends those 3 gripping images of desolation.

    Lad Sessions

  Lad writes: “The Chessie Trail lies below our property, and I walk it frequently.  It’s a converted rail line (the “Chessie” was short for “Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad”) and winds along the Maury River, a tributary of the James River.  Here are four shots taken at different times and places that express my affection for this “nature trail.”  There are many more…

Hope one of these strikes cords of affection in your heart too.”

They sure do …

    Kristian Wannebo

  Kristian’s series is entitled “Forest, left alone”.

  Shot with DxO ONE

  John Wilson

  John writes: “They are all shooting locations and will need some explanation. The Richmond Night Market was a Street Photographers wet dream. Lots of action in a limited space, great lighting exotic atmosphere and great street food. One of my all time favourite shooting locations. The old parking lot had a fantastic mural along the length of one side and a poster covered wall at the end. The wall behind the poster wall was covered in graffiti and vivid paint. After a rain there would be pools in the parking lot to reflect the mural and there was always lots of reflections in the car windows and metal surfaces. A fabulous place to shoot. The umbrella shop was one of only two stores I’ve ever seen that specialized in umbrellas. Their window was always colourful and being under a bridge the light was always soft and even … perfect for catching the reflections of passing cars and pedestrians. Another much loved location. Sadly they are now all gone … “

    June Challenge: and now for something completely different

  Nope, that is not the name of a contributor. April Flowers, Theresa May, June Challenge, July Andrews … ya know …

No, this is the RFP (fancy!) for your photographs for the new DS challenge for the month of June. Just sounds better the short way. June agrees.

Now, in the past months, we’ve explored serious, almost heavy, topics such as things we love and fear to lose (not the city, Paris and London are enough for one page), Haiku, vital energy … I’d like to do a fun and silly one for a change.

  Carter and June

  Antropomorphism would be the appropriate name for what I have in mind, but it feels a bit too serious for the fun mood of the challenge. How often have you seen objects or shadows or plants or … that look like human faces? Sometimes funny, sometimes spooky, sometime interesting … if you’ve made pictures of those, please send them to me (pascal dot japppy at gmail dot com). In the example above, the box on the left, the guy with the 66 bow-tie eying pretty pink June, actually seems more interesting than the overly obvious one on the right.

So bring it, or bring them. Juno, I can’t wait to see what you found 🙂

  Posted on DearSusan by pascaljappy.

[fiercereadsya]

The Love Interest Behind the Scenes: Interview with the Designer

The following is a Q&A between Cale Dietrich, author of The Love Interest and April Ward, the cover designer for The Love Interest. Are you ready to find out what went into the cover design for The Love Interest? Keep reading! 

Cale asks April:

Hi April! I'm so, so thrilled to be interviewing you. I'm totally in love with the cover you made for The Love Interest, and I'm so excited to hear some behind the scenes info about the process of creating it. 1) What was your first idea for the cover? Did you start thinking up concepts from the pitch letter, or did you read some of the book?

I love to read the manuscripts before I start in on cover design and in the case of The Love Interest it was such an absolute page-turner that I couldn’t stop! I had to know what happened between Dylan and Caden! I read manuscripts on my phone during my commute, and as I’m reading I’ll write little notes to myself on character, settings, and possible graphic imagery. Next, I’ll jot down a list of concepts and do thumbnail sketches so I can start thinking about compositions and color combinations.

For The Love Interest, there was so much good material to work with! The overlapping heads with the girl walking through was one of the first thumbnails I came up with, but I also started with some good guy vs. bad boy iconography, like horns vs. halo and polo shirt vs. leather jacket. I also knew I wanted to play around with the idea of the guys strapped down to an operating table sort of like Nip Tuck or Botched. Oh, and the red laser that separated Caden and Dylan the first time they met also seemed like a great visual to try. I also kept thinking about the competition aspect of the story, and how to show it in a more graphic way. The best I could come up with for that direction was an arm wrestle concept, but it didn’t really pan out visually. 

Once the thumbnail drawings are done and I know I have a good amount of directions to explore I start putting them together digitally and playing with color and type. From there some concepts tend to stand out and others fall to the side depending on what kind of imagery I find for the early designs.

2) Were there any elements in The Love Interest that you knew you wanted to represent on the cover? And how does one chose what parts to represent on a cover?

Actually, the hardest part in the case of The Love Interest was narrowing it down! I really wanted to get across the good guy vs. bad boy element because we all know that both are incredibly appealing in their own way. In terms of choosing which parts to represent I really like to show a good amount of variation in the early stage so I can feel confident that we’re exploring enough and choosing the best one. From the larger bunch of early cover designs (8 or 9?) it was narrowed down to four covers that were approved by the editor and creative director to show to sales. I brought those four to an art meeting and I was so happy that the sales group opted for the graphic cover! That was my favorite direction because I think it lets the reader really imagine the characters in a way that feels more personal.

3) I've had a lot of people tell me the cover looks like a badass spy movie poster, which I think is the most awesome thing ever. Were you inspired by those? Or if not, can you share any visual inspirations you had for the cover?

YES! I love the James Bond type poster design with that classic yet deadly appeal, I definitely used that style as inspiration for the look of The Love Interest. Once I start mocking up cover ideas I do some visual inspiration searching, usually on Pinterest. Early on I wasn’t sure if the cover would be graphic or photographic so I was gathering a bunch of varied visuals. One was a poster of From Russia With Love, and another showed a totally different direction with this shirtless guy just staring at the viewer with his body cut in half by type that said “Love to Hate.” I loved that and was very inspired by the direct pull of that eye contact. Though in the end, the cover had no eyes, it did inspire the idea of the bullseye used around your name!

4) I think the color combo of red, white and black is incredibly striking. How early on did you decide on this color scheme? Did you ever try out alternate colors once you'd locked in the final idea?

Originally I really wanted to do something with red, blue, and cream! I love red and blue together, it makes me think of those 3D glasses and a mix of hot and cold that’s really appealing to me. When the concept went to our art meeting the worry from sales was that the color palette was reading retro. I tried a good amount of variation on that, and the red and black idea came from my boss, Rich Deas. I was hesitant about it actually because I feel like he owns red and black but he was right!

5) Do you have any favorites from the covers that didn't end up getting picked? What about the design made it a favorite?

My favorite besides the winning cover was the first one from the very early comps, the one with the polo shirt and leather jacket that didn’t make it to the art meeting. I loved that it sort of seemed like they were facing each other and that the “V” and the “S” stood out subtly in white from the blue letters. It’s easy to get attached to early ideas. But it’s also a good reminder for me that sometimes you have to move on and just trust the process.

April asks Cale: 

Hi Cale! So excited to interview you as well! 

1) What was your first reaction when you saw the cover of The Love Interest? Who was the first person you showed this cover when you got the chance?

I FREAKED OUT! I’d been on what felt like cover-alert for months, where I was constantly checking my inbox for any word about the cover. Because of the time difference, I usually get all of my publishing related emails when I wake up. So one morning I remember waking up and immediately checking my inbox, like always. It was empty, so I just went about my day. I’d been awake for maybe half an hour, so I was still kinda sleepy when I saw that the tab in my browser had a (1), and I just knew that was it. And it was! 

Honestly, I loved it from the first second I saw it. I didn’t have like a crystal clear image of the cover I was expecting (other than I thought it’d be blue, for some reason) but as soon as I saw it I knew it was the most perfect cover. It was so cool and striking and badass and yeah, perfect is the word that comes to mind. The first person I showed was my housemate, who freaked out about it as much as I did. And then I emailed it to family/friends and I had them open it while I was on the phone with them so I could hear their live reactions. It was a super fun day. 

2) What has been your favorite fan reaction to the cover art of The Love Interest? 

Ohhh good question! Someone once called The Love Interest cover the most badass cover in the YA game, which I thought was pretty freaking cool! A lot of people have taken some amazing Instagram photos of it, and it always looks so great. I also get a massive kick out of people saying it looks like a super stylish spy movie poster.

3) Aside from the final cover, do you have any favorites among the other covers that were not chosen? (Don’t worry, no covers were incinerated or otherwise harmed throughout the selection process). What do you like about some of the alternate covers? 

Haha I’m glad no covers were harmed! And I actually really love them all! I’m such a sucker for covers and I think they’re all really amazing in their own ways. I love how bold and colorful the red ‘two spies, one girl’ cover and the yellow and blue one are. They both feel really punk-y to me and I love them for that.

If I had to pick a favorite, though, it’d be the one that shows Caden and the alterations the LIC is going to make to turn him into a Nice. I think it’s super stylish and it reflects The Love Interest so freaking well. It’s hard to explain, but I feel like there’s something special about that one. But I feel so lucky with all of them—like, I’d read all of those books. And for the record, my absolute favorite is the one you picked, so yay!

4) Just out of curiosity, if you had to pick, which do you think you are—a Nice or a Bad? 

Oh, I’m a Nice for sure! I’d be the WORST Bad, I can’t brood at all. 

The Love Interest by Cale Dietrich is in stores now. Get your copy today!

[art124spring2019]

Week 3 - History of Design

Week 3 – History of Design

 Example 1:  Madison house with Art Nouveau details (Sketch)

I discovered this house near the UW Madison campus by searching the term “Art Nouveau” on the Wisconsin Historical Society Web site.  My search result was an archival photo of two porch pillars on a house located at 626 N Henry Street (Potter, n.d.). When I looked at the house itself, I was surprised to see geometric details in the masonry that I would normally associate with Art Deco.  A window on the third story is also trimmed out in an Art Deco style, but that could be a late addition.   Zillow.com (2019) describes the year of construction as 1904, still within the Art Nouveau period, but the building is showing some of the influences of future trends in architecture.

 Example 2 – Chariot on an antique carousel in Waterloo, WI (Sketch)

I am a member of the Friends of the Waterloo Carousel, and I have operated and helped maintain it since 2000.  The carousel was purchased from the C.W. Parker amusement company in 1911, but friends group members that study carousel art believe the two serpent chariots are older and probably salvaged from an earlier carousel.  The horses, rounding boards and other decorations feature a patriotic theme, while the chariots are unrelated in color and show an Art Nouveau influence.

 Example 3 – Advertising mural in Watertown WI (photo)

This advertising mural has been visible on the side of a tavern on Highway 19 in Watertown Wisconsin for as long as I can remember.  I can guess it is about 50 years old, because I remember seeing a lot of these murals when I was a preschooler.  They are not Art Nouveau, but I think they are the descendants of advertising posters from the Victorian era.  The use of large-scale sans serif fonts makes the advertisement highly readable, and the minimal text and prominent image of a pack of gum make the message consumable for motorists passing at driving speed, much as those same techniques made Victorian posters understandable for the illiterate (Eskilson, 2007 p. 46).

Example 4 – Advertising and decorative murals in Watertown, WI (photo)

There are two murals painted on the parking side of Mullens Dairy bar in Watertown WI.  The upper mural in this photo may date back to 1932 when Mullens first opened, but it has been repainted at least once in that time.  It is a simple example of another successor to the Victorian advertising poster.  Below is a more recent mural.  This one has a realistic style and an agricultural theme. The composition reminds me of the Theophile Steinlein poster example in our text, La Rue Affiches Charles Verneau.  The mural has a relationship to ice cream but strikes me as an image intended to beautify the downtown area as Victorian activists sought to dilute the urban ugliness that followed the industrial revolution. They “hoped that the art of the poster would enliven the often grim streets.” (Eskilson, 2007 p. 68)

 Example 5 – Photo albums spanning two centuries (photo)

In our lecture for Week 3, Instructor Stroeh gives us some information about the history and progression of photography.  I recently received a Civil War-era photo album that belonged to my grandmother which contains several cartes de vistes, and the first photo album my mother started after she and my father married. My mother’s album transitions from early black and white photos to Polaroid Instant Color photos.  I also tracked down my first family photo album, and somewhat sadly included my daughter’s which was an early smart phone. Unless she is motivated to preserve her digital photos in some accessible way, our family’s photographic record will stop at the advent of digital photos.

 Example 6 – Books from the Art Nouveau Period (photo)

Sun Prairie Public Library accepts book donations from the public.  These two books had been put aside for potential sale to collectors due to their obvious age.  The undulating Art Nouveau decoration on the covers first caught my eye. When I opened the copy of Robert Falconer, I saw that it was published by George Routledge and Sons, Ltd., a publisher mentioned in our assigned reading (Eskilson, 2007, p. 38)

 Example 7: - Excerpts for The Sun Prairie Countryman published May 11, 1893 (Photo)

There are ties between the British Arts and Crafts movement and the Art Nouveau period in the United States.  Louis Sullivan, an American architect, designed the façade of the Transportation Building at the World’s Columbian Exposition (Chicago, IL, 1893) in the Art Nouveau style.  I looked for the issue of the Sun Prairie WI newspaper, The Countryman that was published closest to the opening of the exposition (May 11, 1893) and found an offer from the Chicago Inter Ocean (a Chicago newspaper) to arrange lodging and introductions for visitors to the Exposition.  Also noteworthy in the Countryman is the Blackletter title, and the small, tightly packed 5-column arrangement featuring left-justified test and lacking any photographs.

 Example 8 – Franklin treadle sewing machine with Egyptian motif (Photo)

I don’t have authoritative any information on my Franklin treadle sewing machine, but it probably dates between 1850 and 1900 (Miller-Wilson, 2019).  I have always loved the decoration of Egyptian motifs.  Eskilson explains the emergence of European Egyptomania in the early eighteenth century (2007, p. 47), but my sewing machine decoration is much later. It is a revival of Egyptomania.

 Example 9 – Notes from the Eskilson Text

The pattern created when an age of social repression is followed by a backlash of social non-conformity must be endlessly reprinting itself across the centuries. My own experience was been being born into the Bohemian 1960s which followed on the tight conventionality of the 1950s.  I see the same pattern in Eskilson (2007, p.79-80) as he relates how the Aestheticism Movement formed as a new generation of creatives rejected the mores of the Victorian era.  In both cases provocative sexuality, emotional responses and fascination with supernatural mysteries were revered over responsibility and conformity.

 Example 10 – Notes from the Eskilson Text

Photography, “drawings with light”.  Eskilson (2007, p. 31) describes how photography was regarded as more credible than drawings that could be manipulated and provided the viewer with a sense of presence in exotic places or world events.  I find some sadness in the way that digital photography has cast a shadow over that credibility and makes it necessary to question the authenticity of digital photographs and images.  I wonder if a new technology might emerge to reestablish that trust.

 Resources

Eskilson, S. (2007). Graphic design: A new history. New Haven: Yale University Press.

Miller-Wilson, K. (2019). History of Treadle Sewing Machines. [online] Antiques.lovetoknow.com. Available at: https://antiques.lovetoknow.com/Antique_Singer_Sewing_Machines [Accessed 9 Feb. 2019].

 Potter, J. (n.d.). Art Nouveau House Detail | Photograph | Wisconsin Historical Society. [online] Wisconsin Historical Society. Available at: https://www.wisconsinhistory.org/Records/Image/IM36197 [Accessed 9 Feb. 2019].

Zillow.com. (2019). 626 N Henry St APT 1 Madison WI 53703. [online] Available at: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/626-N-Henry-St-APT-1-Madison-WI-53703/55398369_zpid/ [Accessed 9 Feb. 2019].

[labeckinator]

Snow Boarding Hitomi - A Progression Series

This is just to showcase what I was doing and how I was recreating this redraw. I’m something of a ham and enjoy talking about what I do and how I do it.

Long winded post under cut.

Lately I had realized I had fallen into a bad habit with drawing in that I wasn’t drawing very loose. I noticed in previous pictures I had a tendency to try and lock things down too early on. For this picture I took it as an opportunity to practice loosening up.  There’s a post about that here.

Probably not totally successful with the “looseness” bit but I still established a nicely drawn pose by which to work from.

For this picture I also was busy scouting the world wide web for reference pictures. 

Reference is probably the main thing I don’t use often enough, but it really does make things easier and poses more believable when I do.  Another good habit I need to work on forming.

Below I turned the opacity down on the initial sketch and went on a new layer to clean it up a bit and add some detail.

I also took it as an opportunity to correct some proportions (mainly in the shoulder).  My original reference was male, but the character I’m drawing is female.  Women tend to have smaller shoulders than men (with some exceptions to that rule), and Hitomi, while athletic, still has a smaller build compared to a man.

I don’t like to have my characters hanging out in space.  So I dropped in a quick background sketch.  At this stage I can still make adjustments to either bg or character pretty easily with minimal effort.

One thing that I have learned since 2002 is that it doesn’t hurt to really scrutinize your drawing at this stage before you start really laying down all the finer details and polish.  I’ve done drawings where I have to change stuff when I’m almost done and that sucks (sometimes I still make that mistake).

Turned off the loose sketch layer to take a look at what I have.  

Made some minor adjustments to the legs and some small pattern changes.  Threw a design on the board.  Since this is Escaflowne-inspired, I felt it would be cool to give a nod to the Fanelian crest.  

Overall at this point I’m happy with the way it’s working.  This could change and I may want to change it later (or find more things to fix) - but while I mull that over, I think it’s time to go back to the background.

I frequently make note layers in my psd or clip files just to keep track of things I think of or need to change, but can’t execute on it at the moment.

I dropped the opacity on Hitomi and the background sketch so I can focus on detailing the background without losing the central figure.

For the background I went back over adding some detail to where I wanted things so they would be more pronounced when I made my next pass, which will be to block it out in color.  I had some trees in the background you could see so I better detailed those, and for the trees further back, I just scribbled in some indications as to where those would be.  I also wanted to pronounce some of the detail of the valley as well as cement the mountain peaks in.  I also wanted to ensure that if I didn’t have to, I didn’t draw anything where Hitomi is.

I usually drop in a layer for the sky.  

Using the lasso tool I traced around elements within the background I had drawn to fill with a base color.  The lasso tool is good for creating the hard edges for mountains, rocks, etc.  It’s also something I noticed quite a few artists who paint these beautiful landscapes do. Example of a very talented artist demonstrating that here.

Throwing some clouds in.  Mostly done in Clip Studio with the Smooth Watercolor brush, just layering color on top and then using the same brush to blur out the hard edges. You can do some similar effects with the basic photoshop brushes (I used photoshop for years and had to find a way to make clouds), just reduce the opacity and hardness of the brush to your preference.  I never found custom cloud brushes for ps for my liking (that were free anyway), so I can’t recommend any.

I turned off the bg sketch to get a better look at the background. I tilted Hitomi a bit to make it look more like she is coming off the hill side on the left.  I also realized a few things: 

Need some more variation in the peaks and also to bring them lower to give a better impression for being up high. 

The central figure is a bit too large.  I scaled down Hitomi and tilted the sketch slightly.  Still not quite working for me.  I think I’ll probably move her up a bit as well.

The nice thing about working digitally is that you can deviate from your original sketch pretty easily.  I usually take an opportunity each project to experiment a little.

Example:

The original blocked out background took less than 10 min to throw together (even with the clouds).  Wanted to see what different mountains and clouds would look like.

It’s important to remember when working from a sketch (especially in the digital medium):

Anyway, back to my redraw.

Having sorted out some of the background I went back to ink Hitomi.

I then went ahead and added some color to Hitomi. 

You may have also noticed in the second picture that Hitomi has some added details to her outfit not seen previously in the inked w/o color pic.  And that was because I wanted to make the outfit a bit more interesting.

Having colored the character, I bounced back over to the background to give it some more details.

I also felt it was time to revisit my notes layer.  I wanted to add some more things as well as remind myself of what I needed to do.

While I meander a lot between figure and background, I tend to leave any and all effects until last.  This is due to how I want the layering to work and makes it easier for me to work in that way.

Added some shadows and some details to the valley below.

The treeline needs more polish for the area nearest to the viewer, but it’s starting to look more like the valley instead of a greenish blob in the picture before.

Highlights and goggles applied.

It’s very bright and colorful, but I don’t know that I like this look.  I can still keep the base colors I gave Hitomi and try an under painting approach.  I can still keep all those colors I painted earlier, but for now I’ll turn that layer off.

To start I drop in a base color.  The whole painting is very blue, so I went with a blue/gray case color.

Then I created a new layer to put highlights and shadows on (which is me just applying either white or black wherever I think there is a highlight or shadow).

I turned back on color layer and changed it from normal to overlay.  It feels like it’s headed in the right direction to me, but the whole thing looks a little too blue, particularly for the shadows.  I can change that by changing the base color of the under painting.

Color wise this feels a bit too warm.  The nice thing about working in layers like this with an under painting is how easy it is to change it.

After squaring away the under painting, I added the snow effect coming off of the snowboard.  It’s on two layers.  The first layer just some yellow/white/blue to give the snow some light and shade, then hit with a motion blur.  The second layer are the visible chunks of snow that would trail and fall off.

This is almost done.  Need to add some atmospheric effects and some lighting to the goggles.

And done.  Sky needed a little something, so I added Gaea and the Moon.  I sort like to think that those who come back to Earth from Gaea can see it whenever they wish (probably also due to Hitomi’s connection to Van?)  But if you, the viewer, really want, Hitomi could be snowboarding on Gaea instead.

The original redraw post (with the original 2002 pic) here.

[imaginingcriminalminds]

Just Another Tiny Secret

HEADER FORM (General) Title: Just Another Tiny Secret Author: souloutside-xx Rating: T  Prompt/Summary: Imagine Prentiss informing Hotch that she’s pregnant. Main Character(s): Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss Trigger Warning: Nope. Word Count: 1,588 Beta/Editor: me Multishot: I don’t know, it may have a follow up but i’m not quite sure yet Author’s Notes: so this got a bit out of control bc i really wanted to tell a story, solid stuff. i hope you enjoy it anyway :) there’s a bit of sexual content but very very slightly (bc i was trying to keep this fluffy)  Any spoilers for either S11 or S12?: No, it’s s7 (Painless - 07x04)

 Although her smile was sincere and so was his, both of them knew there was something else behind her sudden approach. Hotch could almost sense a nervous tinge with her every word, like they were precisely measured to don’t give too much away. If he had to be honest with himself, the Unit Chief had a clue – alright, he was sure - of what was the matter with his dearest subordinate. Still, he didn’t want to push. Rebuilding bridges – especially between the two of them – was something he was more than willing to help her, but sometimes one needs to let other reach for.

 And Prentiss pleaded them without a single word to don’t make it easy. She wanted to prove she was herself that she could fight for them. Whether they agreed with it or not, the team promptly complied - some more than others, matter of factly.

 Since the whole situation with Doyle, her exile in Paris and her come back from ashes, the dark-haired man gave his feelings a great deal of thought. It was a dim night, shortly after he made up his mind about his mission in Pakistan. His daydreams drifted as Dave’s voice played on repeat in the back of his mind.

“Emily and Haley”

 Reality hit him brutally, shoved in those damn shades of black he used to fairly admire from his office window – and it was quite what he got stuck at. From the color of doe eyes to that perfect silky hair he’d often dreamed to run his fingers through, trailing her shirts and jeans and all the last details he could recollect.

 He was falling. Hard. And there was one single problem.

 Emily Prentiss was dead and miles away, somewhere in Europe.

 When she returned, visibly tired, different and with that excruciating doubt if she indeed belonged there, the father of one knew it was his time to step in. He wanted to build something with her, he wanted to have a chance, and he was more than done waiting to act on it.

 Dave eventually endorsed his plans. The dinner, the house, the opportunity he dreaded for. She’d need a lift, he’d have a car, they could talk, finally be able to speak what they ever wanted to, put an end to that profound connection they unconsciously constructed between them. It was a long time coming for any bystander.

 However, Hotch’s expectations were overcome – as much as her own - and, by the end of that same night, he’d hold her draped against his body, drowned in that post-coital haze that both of them found to be a much better heal than any therapy could do. They’d felt complete, each of the three times they succumbed to the unique warmth they found in there. It was moment out of time.

 Morning arrived as a reminder that the brunette pair had a choice to make. Albeit Emily’s dark orbs matched a shade of tenderness she read on his hazel eyes, the younger agent wasn’t ready to take the risks. Not yet.

 Just weeks later – one or two, both couldn’t quite remember – there was a get together at a local restaurant. Emily realized Hotch was trying to compensate her for what she’d been through the last months and, regardless most of her hated the extra attention, deep down she was thankful.

 That night, after declining Morgan’s offer to join him and PG in their post-dinner drinks, the ambassador’s daughter made up her mind about them. He deserved happiness and so did she. And if they were supposed to have this together – for she swore to God she never saw the man with such wide smile than while he nuzzled her forehead -, then let it be.

 It was a grip on his forearm, gentle and unsteady and anxious and all at once. It was a smile, inviting and calm and anticipating. Then it was his lips on hers, his fingers entwining her hair, their hands drawing patterns in a desperate need-driven minute.

 Emily woke up to his sleepy tousled hair, his slender frame covering hers in such a way she couldn’t gather words to describe. For the first time in long while – she knew this phrase was a damn cliché – she felt safe, protected.

 Only now she sat across him with a tiny piece of them growing within her, small, unnoticed, and ready to shake their lives upside down. Although Hotch made clear throughout the years he was definitely a family guy, the brunette woman wondered idly if he would take this well. Part of her blamed them for not doubling birth control, part of her fantasized about a small child of them in her arms – dark hair, dark eyes, the father’s dimples and the mother’s lips.

 Yes, definitely a sight she was looking forward to. Emily fidgeted slightly under the table that separated them. She introduced their conversation with a family subject – Jack, who she needn’t to know further to understand there was something just odd about the little boy these last weeks – and then he quickly turned to her stay in Paris.

 Almost, but very much so, she chickened in the last second. With a breath kept in her lungs, the soon-to-be mother softened her natural smile, used his disarmed posture to bring up her real intentions.

“There’s something we need to discuss” it was barely a whisper, a tone above it or something.

“Go ahead” the older agent encouraged her for he always had an unbelievable knowledge of her behavior.

“Hotch…” she blew some air, averted his infinite gaze, an unsuccessful attempt to ease the tension on her shoulders “I don’t know how to say this”

 The Unit Chief eyed her tell carefully, pondering whether this was the time to ignore professional boundaries and interlace her feminine fingers to his gun calloused digits. He had to, he just had to.

“Sweetheart” they came in touch, skin on skin above the surface, right where anyone with a pair of eyes could see. He didn’t miss how she shifted on her seat, probably startled by his gesture. “It’s…”

“No, Hotch, I need to tell you” she looked down at their hands, mingled so casually, like they have been doing this for a lifetime “Hotch, I-I’m… God, why this is so difficult?” he squeezed her hand, softly, enough to reassure her “I’m… pregnant”

 Notwithstanding he was plenty aware of her announcement, the father of one – two – rarely restrained his emotions to flow wildly, painting every line on his face whilst he gave her a bright grin. Heartfelt, kind, hopeful. All of the walls she had built to seclude herself from feelings, crumbled with silent grace, opened up to what he was offering right in front of her. She could read it from his posture to his eyes, every curve longing to tuck her into his arms and hold on for dear life.

“Are you sure?” he was about to explode, she was too, but he maintained enough rationality to assure that this was not another dream – the man was whipped, goddamn he was.

“Yes, I mean, my practitioner confirmed before this case” her gasp was contented and his chuckle formed as a mere outburst of how gleeful he was, perhaps the dark haired man wasn’t even aware he actually did that.

“This is…” he leaned back on his seat, creating more space between them therefore he could slip his free hand through his hair, dimples never leaving as he shook his head in amusement.

“Scary, but awesome” her eyes lingered on the interactions of their team, each one apparently lost there and none minding the unprofessional moment on the back of the jet – that’s what she supposed, at least.

“Hey” a hint, tiny one, gave away what she was seeking with that conversation: reassurance. Emily Prentiss was a strong, independent woman - Hotch would never doubt that for minute. But he could tell what days hiding it from him brought her. A bit of anxiety, a bit of second guessing… he was feeling it himself if he had to be honest. “We’ll work this out as soon as we land”

“It’s not gonna be easy, you know, there’re a lot of people into this” looking down at her – still – flat stomach, his dearest subordinate cupped where their baby probably rested, before she finally glanced up at him “And I just came back… I don’t know”

“I wish I could tell you everything will be fine and perfect, and we’ll be happy-go-lucky whole way through it, but…” he sighed, intense stare proving his point and the veracity of his sentence “I’m willing to go through it, Emily, if you want me to.”

 His eyebrows raised the slightest, hazel eyes glowing as they opened a quarter more, allowing the younger agent to fix his sight on him. She was aware Strauss would use this against them, also the possible intercurrences still to come and what other agents would gossip about her. Put aside she’d be grounded until she came back from maternal leave. Over one year without field activities. And though such idea enraged her, it was necessary to keep that little piece of them secure.

 She could do that – they could – and Prentiss knew that’s what she intended from the very beginning. Closure.

 Thus, her answer was bit sheepish, mouthed while she caught a glimpse of JJ approaching to take a seat on the other side, but he saw truth therein, and that’s what he accepted as meaningful, “I do”.