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littlesoka7567 · 2 years ago

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Five + One Times Hunter Had a Migraine

Chapter Three: 3 - Crosshair

Summary: After a mission, Hunter gets one of his worst migraines yet. Crosshair wants to help.

Notes: Halfway through! I hope you guys like this one, I changed how it went about ten times lol.

WC: 2344

Tech rolls his eyes at his brothers’ complaining, face practically buried in his datapad as he walks off their ship. His helmet is still firmly in place, even though he usually takes it off on the flight home. “For your information, that move was perfectly safe. I passed my flying exams with perfect scores.”

Crosshair takes his bucket off as he exits the ship, and rolls his eyes right back, toothpick sliding between his teeth. “Doesn’t mean it was enjoyable.”

Hunter can’t help but agree. The erratic flying from Tech normally doesn’t bother him, but the unnecessary turn to fly upside down for a few seconds had rattled his brain around his skull uncomfortably. He crosses his arms over his chest, having turned to watch his crew exit the ship.

Wrecker laughs loudly, and Hunter’s eye twitches in the effort to not flinch. “I thought it was fun!” He doesn’t take his helmet all the way off, merely shoving it up so it rests on top of his head. He stomps happily down the ramp, shoving Crosshair’s shoulder playfully before throwing an arm over Tech’s shoulders.

Hunter takes his bucket off, taking a deep breath. The high of yet another successful mission never lasts long, and the migraine is always quick to follow. But it’s already starting to appear due to the flying.

Tech smiles at Wrecker, after taking his own bucket off. “Well I’m starving,” he announces. “I’m going straight to the mess hall.”

Wrecker gasps, shoving his gear into Crosshair’s chest. “You don’t mind, do you?” His lips twist up into a mean smile, eyes glinting with mischief.

Crosshair opens his mouth, likely to say that he does mind in a lot more words, but Hunter cuts him off. “Nah, you two go ahead. Me and Cross will catch up.”

Tech smirks at Crosshair, before handing his gear to Hunter. “Thank you. We will save you a seat,” he jokes. As if anyone would take their seats.

Tech and Wrecker make their way to the mess hall, and Hunter and Crosshair turn down the other way. “I was hungry too, you know,” Crosshair complains halfheartedly.

Hunter hums, leading them to their private barracks. Their private barracks…he’ll never get tired of thinking that. His squad worked very hard for their position as a special ops team, for their reputation. They earned it; they’re superior to the batches around the same age. Most of them are still shinies, waiting for their chance to even see a frontline. Not his team.

“I know,” Hunter says, shaking his head a bit. His migraine is growing quickly. “Just help me carry it back and you can go down.”

“You won’t be joining me?” Crosshair asks, toothpick rolling from one side of his mouth to the other.

“No,” Hunter says, and he clenches his jaw. He suddenly feels nauseous; the sign of a really bad migraine. It doesn’t happen often, only his worst headaches affect him this badly.

“Are you…alright?” Crosshair asks, opening their door. Hunter lays Tech’s gear down, and starts stripping himself of his own armor. Usually he leaves it on for a bit; right now, the sound it makes as it rubs against the other pieces is making his teeth hurt.

“Sure,” Hunter lies, turning to Crosshair and forcing a smile. Crosshair has never, not even once, believed Hunter when the older clone attempts to downplay his pain.

Crosshair bites the toothpick, narrowing his eyes. He puts Wrecker’s stuff down, and starts taking his own armor off. “How bad is it?” Crosshair asks softly.

Hunter sighs, sitting on his bunk in just his blacks and digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Bad,” he says. Then another wave of nausea hits him, and he clenches his teeth tightly together.

“Are you going to be sick?” Crosshair asks, and the toothpick lands somewhere to Hunter’s right. The other clone shifts his weight, staring at Hunter.

“I hope not,” Hunter gasps out after a beat, looking up again. He winces at the bright fluorescent light, covering his entire face with his hands almost immediately.

There’s a few heartbeats where Crosshair just stares, slowly taking off his own armor in order to be quiet. Then the door opens and closes, and Hunter groans loudly.

Normally he tries to hide his pain as best he can, but when he’s alone, he allows himself to vent. “Oh no,” he groans, mashing his teeth together. He briefly considers making a run for the fresher, but the thought of going back into the hall with all those blindingly white walls makes him hesitate.

Hunter doesn’t even notice when Crosshair comes back in, a testament to how much pain he’s in. He doesn’t notice until Crosshair’s finger digs into Hunter’s jaw joint, making Hunter gasp and look up, betrayed.

Crosshair rolls his eyes, waving the towel he retrieved around. “Don’t clench your jaw. Tech says it makes it worse.”

“I’m going to throw up if I don’t,” Hunter argues, reaching for the towel. He’s right, though; Tech has made it very clear that tension in his jaw makes the headaches worse. It’s why he hates eating when he gets a migraine, even if he isn’t nauseous. Not only does the sound of himself chewing grate him, but the way his teeth press together to chew hurts.

Crosshair holds it just out of reach, a smirk on his lips. Hunter would roll his own eyes if it didn’t feel like they would pop out. “Let me help you,” Crosshair asks. Even though he’s pretending he wants to be annoying, the eyes always give Crosshair away. He can morph the rest of his face into a cocky, careless expression; but his eyes always betray his worry.

Crosshair has always been the first one to volunteer to help Hunter, and he does it whenever he notices Hunter in pain. When they were younger, he would cuddle with Hunter in his pod. When they got too big to share a pod, he would keep watch and hush any rowdy boy who walked by. Once Tech found out how to best help Hunter, though, it’s always been more hands-on; Crosshair is always ready to get the towel or caf or whatever Hunter needs; always ready to massage Hunter’s temples or do whatever else Hunter could possibly want.

Hunter doesn’t like accepting help, though. He’s the Sargent, he’s their leader, he’s the big brother. Hunter is supposed to protect and help his brothers, not the other way around. That’s been drilled into him basically since he was decanted. But sometimes, when Hunter’s headaches are really bad…he can’t find it in himself to put up a fight.

Hunter hesitates, but he nods slowly. “Alright. You can help.”

Crosshair steps closer, his knees almost touching Hunter’s, and hands Hunter the towel. He reaches out and carefully unties Hunter’s bandana. He lays it next to Hunter’s helmet, before he sits at the top of Hunter’s bed, moving the pillow behind his back.

Hunter lays himself down on the bed, letting his neck rest on Crosshair’s thigh and his head take up the space left by his brother’s crossed legs. Even though he doesn’t allow his brother to do this often, the position is very familiar and comforting already.

He hands the towel back to Crosshair, looking up at him once more before closing his eyes.

Crosshair hums softly in encouragement, and carefully lays the towel over Hunter’s eyes. The relief is subtle but immediate, and Hunter releases a soft sigh. “Better?” Crosshair drawls, a teasing lilt to his voice. He knows Hunter feels better when he allows himself to be taken care of. He never takes as good care of himself as one of his brothers does. Hunter usually tries to ignore it if he can, forcing on a brave face around his squad. If he can’t, he’s more likely to lay down by himself and tell his brothers he’ll be fine than he is to accept help. His pride is a beast of its own; something his squad are well aware of by now.

Hunter gives a thumbs up, scared that he might be sick if he opens his mouth.

Crosshair starts by gently rolling his thumbs over Hunter’s temples, creating small circles. The angle makes it a bit awkward, but Crosshair always manages.

They sit in silence for several minutes, and Hunter feels slightly better with each deep breath. His hands rest crossed over his stomach, and he tries to focus on his deep breathing like Tech taught him. The nausea slowly fades, but the headache is still killing him.

Crosshair’s thumbs still, and he just stares down at Hunter for a moment.

Hunter huffs, the pain already returning. “Cross?” He whispers, tensing up.

Crosshair doesn’t answer at first. Hunter starts to reach up for the towel, but Crosshair pushes his hand away gently. “Let me try something,” he demands softly.

Hunter is confused, but he shrugs against Crosshair’s thigh. He hurts too much to be suspicious. “Alright,” Hunter agrees.

The fingers of Crosshair’s left hand gently card through Hunter’s hair, and the sensation is surprisingly nice. Hunter melts into it immediately, a surprised gasp escaping his lips.

Crosshair chuckles deeply, and Hunter will never get over how unique the laugh is. Even though Crosshair is a clone, his voice is so distinct and different from any other Hunter has ever heard.

His fingers go all the way to the ends of Hunter’s strands, before the slight tug ends and the hair falls loose again. Then he starts again, at Hunter’s hairline, and cards his fingers all the way to the ends again, before letting them fall.

The experience is unlike anything Hunter has ever felt before. The sound of Crosshair’s fingers gliding through the thick locks. The feel of Crosshair’s short nails scratching at his scalp for just a second at every pass. The surge of relief as the barely-there tug releases. He never even notices the pressure is there until it’s gone.

“Oh,” Hunter whispers, his entire body melting into the mattress below him. Crosshair hums, a pleased sound, his right hand gently tapping a rhythm into the thigh Hunter’s neck isn’t cushioned against.

He never wants for Crosshair to stop. The pain isn’t gone, but it fades into the background, almost unnoticeable. His nausea is completely gone, and it’s almost bliss.

Crosshair keeps it up for several minutes, his fingers starting at different areas on his scalp and working slowly through the locks. His right hand eventually joins as well, and the doubled sensation nearly puts Hunter to sleep.

Hunter sighs deeply, fingers flexing where they’re crossed over his stomach. Crosshair gives a contented sigh in response, obviously pleased at being allowed to help his older brother.

Hunter’s so relaxed and out of it, that he doesn't hear anyone approaching until the door slides open and Wrecker’s booming voice fills the room. “You guys have been in here for ages, what’s taking-oh.”

Crosshair’s fingers still in Hunter’s hair, and Hunter fights back a whine. “Shut it, Wrecker,” Crosshair hisses, his left hand resuming the slow movements and the right gesturing.

“Sorry,” Wrecker whisper-yells, tiptoeing over to his bunk. It always makes Hunter want to laugh, at how Wrecker can try so hard to be quiet and fail so miserably. It’s endearing, really. There’s a bit of shuffling for a moment, and then the soft footfalls are making their way back to Hunter’s bunk.

Hunter opens his hands, and Lula is carefully placed inside of them. Hunter can’t help but smile, crossing his fingers over her stomach instead.

Wrecker moves back to the couch by the window, and it sinks under his weight as he sits.

“Anything I might do to help?” Tech asks in a low voice. He’s still by the door, and he must be looking at them because the sounds of his fingers typing on the datapad are absent.

“I got it,” Crosshair says, his right hand moving back down. His thumb starts to rub circles into Hunter’s temple again, and that combined with the fingers carding through his hair makes a contented sigh escape Hunter’s lips.

“Are you sure?” Tech whispers, stepping closer. “You have not eaten yet,” he reminds the silver-haired clone.

Crosshair makes an annoyed sound in the back of his throat, but he doesn’t stop his movements again. “I’ll have a ration bar when he falls asleep.”

The fact that Hunter knows Crosshair is hungry, but he’ll settle for a ration bar from their supplies instead of going down to the mess hall before it closes makes Hunter squirm. He already hates accepting help; allowing them to put himself before their own needs messes with Hunter’s sense of duty. “No, Cross, it’s-”

“Shh,” Crosshair shushes him, gently moving the cloth over Hunter’s eyes to line up more with his eyebrows. “You already said you would let me take care of you. Can’t take it back now.”

“I can take over,” Tech suggests matter-of-factly.

“You know how you can help?” Crosshair says, not hiding the annoyance from his voice. “Hunter’s report will be due in less than 24 hours. Why don’t you do it for him, so he doesn’t have to worry about it?”

Hunter frowns deeply, reaching up for the towel. His hand is slapped away again, and he huffs. “No, no. I’m feeling so much better, Cross. I can do my own reports.”

Tech tsks softly. “I will do it better than you, anyway,” he says. He moves to grab Hunter’s datapad, and sits at his workbench.

Hunter scoffs. “Okay, unnecessary jab,” he accuses.

Crosshair chuckles softly, his fingers scratching at Hunter’s scalp. “Relax. You were almost asleep before.”

Hunter sighs in defeat, forcing himself to relax back into the bed again. “Fine. Just this once.”

Crosshair snickers almost silently, and pulls a toothpick out of his pack before getting back into the rhythm of combing his fingers through Hunter’s hair with one hand and rubbing his temple with the other. “Just this once,” he echoes the lie.

#my writing #clone trooper crosshair #crosshair the bad batch #clone trooper hunter #hunter the bad batch #the bad batch #fanfic

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maybeimamuppet · 2 years ago

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picking teams - chapter 12: cady

hello everyone!! happy wednesday welcome back it’s been a while lol oops

hope you’re having a great day!! also pretty please read the end note for this one i got Stuff To Say™!!

anyway!!

tw for

aftermath of SA

panic attacks

mild gore kinda??

and as always if i’ve missed something please let me know!!

enjoy!

—————

Cady feels like she's glowing as she walks through her front door. She pauses to look at her hands and double check that she isn't as she calls to her parents, "I'm home!"

"Kitchen!" her mother calls back. Cady drops her bag off in the laundry room so she remembers to wash her things before she heads to find her parents.

She freezes when she sees them sitting at the table with matching grim looks on their faces. "What's going on?"

"Sit down, binti," her father says gently. Cady eyes them oddly as she pulls out another chair and plops herself into it.

She tries not to worry too much when she sees just how hard her mother is gripping her father's hand. Her parents love each other, but they aren't the most physically affectionate couple. Whatever this is about is clearly weighing on them. Literally, as they seem to slouch under the pressure of their thoughts.

"We need you to decide what you want to do about Shane," her mother explains quietly. "I know it's not something you want to think about, but we're running out of time for you to make your decision."

Cady freezes. She feels like a bucket of ice water has been tossed over her, chilling her to her bones. Just the mention of his name is enough to do that to her, even after almost four months.

Her parents are right. She doesn't want to think about this. She doesn't ever want him or that or anything about that night to cross her mind ever again. She wants it buried as deep as it can go, locked as tight as it can get, somewhere, anywhere she can't find it. She's done everything she can to not think about it over the months since she was released from the hospital.

But they're also right in that she's running out of time. If she chooses to make a police report, they won't be able to do anything if she waits too long. That's if they even believe her. If it isn't already too late.

"Cady?" her dad asks softly. Cady looks up and blinks back hot tears burning her eyes. "Do you want to press charges?"

"I don't know," Cady hisses, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes. All it does is make the burning worse, but she relishes in the peaceful dark behind her eyes for a moment.

"We have to know how to move forward, binti," her mother reminds her gently. "It's up to you. Whatever you want to do, we'll support you. But we have to know what you-"

"I said I don't know!" Cady sobs, slamming her hands on the wood of the table with such force that her palms burn and her fingers tingle. "I can't... I..."

She doesn't finish her thought before she's running upstairs and locking herself in her room. She heaves sobs so heavy it makes her chest ache as she wrenches her phone out of her pocket and opens her messages. Tears blur her vision as she taps Janis' contact and desperately types out a message, willing her fingers to just do this one thing for her before everything inside her shatters beyond repair.

caddycat: Can yoi come over

caddycat: Please

She lets out a desperate, relieved sob when the little dots start bouncing in the corner almost immediately, signaling that Janis is typing.

jay: lol we just got home

Cady slides down the wall and curls in on herself, leaving her phone to her side. She's crying so hard, so heavy, so loud, that she can't hear the flurry of messages Janis has sent in the meantime.

jay: caddy?

jay: are you okay ??

A minute passes.

jay: i'll be over in ten

jay: hang in there, peanut

Cady's phone shut off just before the last one, so she finally hears her text notification sound. She cries harder and clutches her phone to her chest when she sees her girlfriend is coming to her rescue.

She tries to stand, tries to calm herself, make herself presentable, but she just... can't. Every deep breath she tries to take is chased by another burst of heavy sobs. Her legs buckle beneath her as she tries to get up, her arms as she tries to crawl. She makes it to her dresser before she decides to give up and let herself cry.

She starts hyperventilating when she hears the doorbell ring. She and Janis have literally only been together for a day. Less than twenty-four hours. Janis shouldn't see her like this yet. She can't see her like this yet. She shouldn't have to. Cady never should've texted her, never should have asked her to come over, never should've-

She did. Janis is here. It's too late. Cady listens as her mother greets her at the door, can hear the concern lacing both their muffled voices as they echo through her vent. Cady barely manages to crawl under her bed in a final attempt to hide and save everyone here the trouble.

Janis knocks on Cady's door. "Caddy?" Cady doesn't answer. "I'm coming in, okay?"

Cady listens and tries to keep herself quiet as she hears the door creak open and click shut again. She watches Janis' socks wander around the room for a second before Cady finally can't contain a sniffle anymore and reveals her hiding spot. Janis' knees suddenly become visible. Her hands. Then, finally, her face.

"Hey, Peanut," she murmurs, concern brimming in her ice blue eyes. "Whatcha doing?"

Cady tries to answer, to apologize, tell her to leave, scream, yell, beg for help, but all that comes out is more sobbing. Janis pouts and watches as Cady buries her face in her hands and shrinks away even further beneath her bed. Cady hates that she made Janis look like that. Look at her like that. Like she's some kind of skittish animal she's trying to coax out from its den.

Janis scoots back a little bit. Cady listens to the rustle her body makes against the carpet. She imagines Janis' face as she folds her arms and rests her chin on her hands.

Cady gradually dares to peek up again and finds that face watching her closely. She can tell Janis is concerned and sad, and probably a little confused at finding her girlfriend hiding under the bed like a child frightened by a storm. Janis gently reaches out for her. Cady takes her hand, but makes no effort to leave her hidey hole.

Instead, Janis crawls in to join her. She's much larger than Cady, so it takes some effort, but eventually she manages and peeks sideways at Cady in the relative darkness. "Cozy down here."

Cady feels her face crumble as a new wave of tears starts streaming down her cheeks. Janis doesn't say anything else, doesn't force her to do anything, she's just... there.

"I'm sorry," Cady spits out in between a few sobs. "I-I shouldn't have... we-we-we only... you don't..."

"Hey, shh," Janis soothes quietly. "It's okay, Cads."

"I didn't know who else to ask," Cady says desperately.

"I'm glad you asked me," Janis murmurs. "It's okay, Peanut."

Just hearing her voice helps some of the burning tension and panic swirling in Cady's chest dissipate. I don't deserve her.

They don't have much room, but Cady inches as close to her girlfriend as she can get. Janis does the same and blinks at her in the darkness.

"Can we get on the proper side of your bed, d'you think?" Janis whispers after a minute. Cady sobs a couple times and nods, inchworming her way out. Janis follows and holds a hand to help her up. Cady takes it and curls into a ball underneath her covers. She can hear Janis sigh as she's just lured Cady out of one hiding spot and into another.

Regardless, this one is more comfy, and she crawls in to join her. Cady wails quietly as she presses the gentlest of kisses to her forehead.

"Shh, Cads," she murmurs, gently scratching her dull fingernails against the side of Cady's scalp. "I'm here, it'll be okay."

"No," Cady manages to whimper desperately. Janis inches herself closer and pulls Cady to her chest. Cady somehow manages to cry harder at the warmth and comfort radiating off her. Part of her doesn't even want to be comforted, part of her feels she doesn't deserve comfort in the first place.

But most of her is so, so desperate for it. She leans into Janis' chest and lets herself cry. She can hardly feel Janis pressing her closer to herself, the gentle strokes she gives through her hair, the soft press of lips against her face from time to time.

Eventually, finally, Cady exhausts herself. Her mind is still whirling sadistic circles around itself, like a whirling dervish spiraling slowly into a tornado. But her body aches and her nose is congested and her eyes burn and... and Janis is right there.

"Dang," she jokes weakly. Cady sniffs and winces a bit at the wetness on Janis' soft shirt.

"Sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Janis says, looking at her with such tenderness. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I... I-I-I..." Cady says, trying desperately to force her mouth to move the way she needs it to. It refuses for a second, making her growl in frustration. "Shane."

"What about him?" Janis asks softly.

"I..." Cady takes a breath to steady herself. "I have to-to choose what to do. About the... about the party."

"Oh," Janis hums, her brilliant blue eyes flashing with understanding and something... threatening.

"I don't want to," Cady says, her voice trembling again.

"Don't want to what?" Janis asks, tipping Cady's chin up so she can't look away.

"Everything," Cady chokes. "I don't wanna choose. I don't wanna think about it."

"I know," Janis comforts. She shifts her hand to rest gently on the side of Cady's head, fingers in her hair and palm on her face. "You shouldn't have to. You've been through enough."

Cady inhales heavily and sniffs again. Janis uses her thumb to swipe some tears from beneath her eye and gently massage circles into Cady's aching temple. "...Do you think I should press charges?"

Janis is quiet for a while. So long that Cady looks up into her eyes, searching for the response Janis is mulling over behind them. Eventually, Cady can hear the slight smack as her lips part and she says, "I think... I think you're the only person who can answer that."

"I know," Cady says morosely. "But... what do you think I should do?"

"I think that even if you choose not to press charges, you should file something with the police," Janis says. "I've known Shane since fourth grade. You can't be the first girl he's done this to, and... you... probably won't be the last, unfortunately. Even if you don't do anything else, if you file a report, there's a paper trail. If he does it again, someone else might press charges and you'll have made it that much easier on them. If he's done it before, you doing that might make someone else feel comfortable enough to step forward too. You don't have to be the hurricane here, if you're not ready. Just be the butterfly."

"The butterfly?"

"Flap your wings," Janis says. "It'll be small, but it could spark something huge. You never know."

"Okay," Cady says shakily. "I... I'll do that."

"Good," Janis whispers. She presses a gentle kiss to the corner of Cady's lips. "Are you gonna press charges?"

"I don't think so," Cady mumbles. "I don't... I'm tired of thinking about it. I don't wanna drag out all of this. And it's expensive, to go to court and stuff. I just wanna be done with it."

"Okay," Janis says. "I think a police report will be plenty."

"You don't think I should do more?"

"That's completely up to you," Janis says. "What I think doesn't matter anyway. But if just... having to make this choice made you cry the way you were when I got here, then... I think you've made the right call."

"I guess you're right," Cady agrees. "I'm sorry I made you come when you just got home."

"Don't be sorry," Janis says softly. "I'll be here whenever you need me."

"I just... I... I needed to talk to someone, and I was scared, I didn't know who else I could ask," Cady continues.

"Caddy, it's okay," Janis says with the slightest of chuckles. "I promise. This was a... special circumstance. You needed help, you don't have to apologize for that."

"...Thank you."

"You're welcome," Janis says softly, brushing Cady's hair behind her ear and gently scratching her scalp again. Cady shudders happily at the sensation of her dull nails against her sensitive skin.

Before she knows it, her eyes begin fluttering, and she's off to sleep.

—-

Cady wakes up when she has trouble breathing. She pulls as far away as she can from the obstruction and yawns quietly, finding that she's had her entire face pressed firmly against Janis' neck like she's trying to inhale her. No wonder she couldn't breathe.

It was comfy, though. She cuddles back in at a better angle and takes some time to ponder.

Janis drifted off at some point, too, and has yet to wake up. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps.

Cady still feels bad. The guilt and the worry and the heartache slither through her like snakes, so real she can almost feel them squirming in her gut. The pain, the memories still strong enough to give her heart palpitations even though she still can't really remember what happened to her. The panic.

And Janis. Poor, sweet, Janis. Had to come to her rescue once again. Had to hide under Cady's bed with her like a child. Had to hold her while she cried and panicked and argued.

You don't fucking deserve her, the sadistic part of her brain growls at her. She deserves better. Better than you. Better than you could be. Could ever be.

Stop it, the other part of her pleads with herself. Janis is already here. She came because she wanted to. She chose me.

She can hear the other part rearing up to respond, and plugs her ears with her fingers so she doesn't have to listen. But the call is coming from inside the house.

Janis wakes up just in the nick of time to save Cady from another whirlwind. She makes a precious little noise in the back of her throat and opens her eyes like she's just been shocked. She blinks as she realizes where she is and smiles when her icy blue eyes lock onto Cady. "Hi."

"Hi," Cady echoes, missing her warmth as Janis pulls away to stretch. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"It's fine," Janis replies. "I did too."

"What time is it?" Cady asks softly. Janis grabs her phone and holds it behind Cady's head to check the time.

"Only two. We're still good," she says, yawning again. They only slept for about an hour, miraculously.

"I should go... I mean, you can... if you want to... leave, now," Cady mumbles awkwardly, tripping over her words. "I have... uh..."

"Do you want me to go?" Janis asks with such incredible gentleness.

"No," Cady says. "But... you... probably should. Not, like- just... y'know. Bleh."

"Bleh?" Janis giggles. Cady whines and rolls to hide her face in her pillow.

"Shut up."

"Nah," Janis teases, gently poking a finger into Cady's side. Cady squeals and leans away from it. "Are you gonna be okay if I leave?"

"Yeah," Cady agrees, poking her face out to see her girlfriend. "I'll be fine. I'll text you?"

"Sounds tits," Janis says. Cady rolls her eyes, but she does laugh. They both get up so Cady can show Janis out.

Janis sits on the second-to-last stair to tug her boots back on and lace them up. Cady hesitates against the door, wondering what the proper protocol for a goodbye is between them now.

Janis stands once she has the bow in her bootlaces securely double knotted. She trips over the thick rubber toe for a second and just barely catches herself to avoid face-planting into the wall. She brushes herself off and pretends like Cady didn't just see that whole thing go down, swaggering up to her and gently resting her hands on Cady's hips.

"Bye, Peanut."

"Bye," Cady says softly. She looks up into Janis' eyes for a second, looks between them and Janis' lips a couple times before she leans in. It's awkward, as they fumble into a gentle press of lips, but it's still nice. Cady sneaks one more smooch onto the corner of Janis' lips before she drops back onto the flats of her feet and lets Janis go. She watches to make sure she gets into her car okay before she shuts and locks the door again.

Cady sighs quietly, already missing the warm, comforting touch of her girlfriend. She wipes her still-snotty nose off on her sleeve and sheepishly heads to find her parents.

She finds them side by side on the sofa, both independently doing some work. They look up at exactly the same time when they hear her footsteps on the wood floor. She feels tears welling in her eyes again just at the concern and hurt in their eyes.

"Sorry for freaking out," Cady mumbles quietly.

"It's alright, Monkey. Come here," her father says in that comforting low rumble. Cady pads over and plops herself on the coffee table across from them. "Have you decided?"

Cady nods, fiddling with a loose thread on her pants and staring at her feet. "I don't wanna press charges."

She can almost hear the disappointment in the way her parents inhale. Neither of them speak. Cady doesn't look up, but she can tell they're looking at each other, discussing what to do with her without speaking audibly. Her dad inhales, exhales again. His voice is strained the slightest bit when he says, "Okay."

"I just... I do want to file something. With the police. Janis said she doesn't think I'm the first... the first girl he did this to. And she doesn't think I'll be the last, either. So... if I do that, then there's... there's something already in the system, so if he- if he does, then... it'll make it easier for the next person."

"That's a good start," her mother says quietly. "Are you sure you don't want to take this to court?"

"I'm sure," Cady says immediately. Her mother presses her lips into a thin line and nods curtly. "I don't want to think about it anymore. Court is expensive. I just want to try to move on."

"Then that's what we'll do. Do we need to do anything at school? Get him removed from any of your classes?" her father asks gently.

"I don't have any classes with him," Cady says. "I only see him at games. And there's always lots of people around."

"We could try to have him expelled anyway," her dad says.

"I'm comfortable for now," Cady shrugs. "If I feel different then I'll do something then, I guess. I just really don't want to think about him anymore. Anything more than a police report is too much for me right now."

"Alright, binti," her dad says. He rests what should be a comforting hand on her knee, but it just makes Cady squirm inside. "That's what we'll do. We're very proud of you."

Cady finally glances up. "Really? You're not mad?"

"We're not... thrilled," her mother says tightly. "But this is your decision. We understand how much this must be weighing on you. If you don't want to go any further than a report then we won't go any further than a report."

Cady nods in understanding. Her parents are protective, probably bordering on overprotective. They want what's best for her, but they still don't always trust her to know what that is.

"That Janis girl seems like a close friend," her dad says, trying to shift this to a casual conversation now that they've gotten all the heavy and important things on the table. Cady can't hold back a faint chuckle. You have no idea.

"Yeah. She is."

"You know you'll have to tell her soon," her mother says. "She deserves to know."

"I know," Cady says with a sigh. "I will. I just... I don't want her to look at me different." Especially now she's my girlfriend.

"If she's a real friend, she won't," her dad reminds her. She could recite this whole conversation by heart. She heard it at least five times before her first day of school.

"I know. I promise I will. It's just... I want to wait for the right time," Cady says. Her parents both nod. "Can I go now?"

"Yes," her dad chuckles. "Dinner's in..." he checks the inside of his wrist to see the time on his watch. "...Four and a half hours."

Cady giggles. "Okay. Thanks. I love you guys."

"We love you too."

They both give her hugs before Cady heads back to her bedroom. Jesus, what a day.

—————

Cady dreams that night. Well, she dreams every night, technically, but she really remembers this one.

She's back in Kenya, running around the savanna with a lion that looks strangely like Janis. The lion listens with its head in her lap as she explains all the struggles and hardships she's been through lately. It's soft and warm when she strokes her hands through its fur.

She can't quite feel what should be a burning sun beaming down on her face when she looks up towards it. The ever-present birdsong she got used to in Kenya isn't playing.

The gazelles around the watering hole sound familiar. Human, almost. Three cheetahs walk up to them and they all scatter. Cady and the lion watch from afar.

A zebra is unphased by the presence of the cheetahs and continues drinking from the small watering hole. No matter how much they chirp and chatter and threaten, he doesn't move.

Suddenly, a great big crocodile leaps out of the water. The zebra doesn't stand a chance as he's dragged in. The cheetahs follow quickly. Cady screams as the croc suddenly turns to see her and the lion. It approaches quickly, already chomping its teeth slightly in preparation for its next meal.

"No!" Cady yells as it takes one of the lion's rear paws in its jaws and tugs, trying to pull it back to the water to drown and kill and rip her to shreds. Cady pulls and pulls, but the crocodile is stronger. Cady loses her grip. And the lion's gone.

The last thing Cady sees is the crocodile looming over her. She screams, tries to pull away, roll out from beneath it, hold its mighty jaw shut, anything, but there's nothing she can do. As it sinks its teeth in, the last thought she has is that it's eyes look an awful lot like hers.

She wakes up with a gasp and pants for breath. Her phone says it's about four in the morning when she checks the time. Jesus.

She greedily gulps down a good portion of the water bottle on her nightstand and rolls over, trying to get out of the small sweaty spot she created in her fright and go back to sleep.

You're okay, Cady.

—————

Cady's still in a daze over the next few days. She can tell her friends notice. Some are concerned, some... less so. She daydreams more in class. Even calculus is half-spent staring longingly out the window.

She's not even really thinking about much. Part of her imagines the dry, frost-covered grass and what it would feel like beneath her fingertips. The delicate crunch it would make if she stepped on it. Whether the air is cold enough to give her that paradoxical feeling of warmth in her nose and the tips of her ears.

But mostly, her head is just... empty.

It's strange. Usually her thoughts come so quickly that they're almost indistinguishable from each other, blurring and whirling and swirling together. Cady's caught in the eye of the storm and trying desperately to keep a hold on any one thought long enough to use it for what she needs.

But today there is no storm. The seas are calm around her. Almost... frozen. The silence that should be a relief, a comfort, is just eerie. Unnatural.

God, I miss Kenya.

—————

For the first time in her entire life, Cady gives up on doing her math homework. She can't focus, no matter what she tries. She's been staring at the same problem for ten minutes. She starts solving it before her brain gets sidetracked and she's right back where she started.

Most of the sidetracks are in Janis' direction, so Cady decides to see what her girlfriend is up to. They have a lot to talk about. They haven't had a real conversation since the incident, or even longer, maybe. It's been at least a couple days. A couple days too long.

peanut: Hey

jayjay: hey you

jayjay: how are u doing??

peanut: Better

peanut: Thanks again for coming to my rescue

jayjay: anytime <33

peanut: <33

peanut: What are you doing?

jayjay: procrastinating mostly

jayjay: whatchu doin

peanut: Same actually

jayjay: uh oh

jayjay: when is the end of the world coming

jayjay: caddy heron procrastinating can only be a sign of the end times

peanut: You are ridiculous

jayjay: hey man ur the one who asked me to be ur gf

jayjay: and no take backsies

peanut: 🙄🙄

jayjay: since when do u use emojis

peanut: Karen taught me

peanut: They're so cute!!!

peanut: Look

peanut: 🦁🦁🦁

peanut: LOOK AT HIM

jayjay: i'm looking

peanut: You aren't appreciating him enough

jayjay: my apologies king lion emoji

peanut: Off with her head

jayjay: :000

jayjay: however can i earn ur forgiveness

peanut: Hmm

peanut: I suppose you could be forgiven if...

peanut: You go get food with me?

jayjay: deal

jayjay: pick u up in fifteen?

peanut: Sounds tits <3

jayjay: YSE

jayjay: SYE

jayjay: EYS

jayjay: Y E S

peanut: Babe

jayjay: HEHSJSB

peanut: Are you okay???

peanut: Should I be worried

jayjay: yes.

—-

Cady changes back out of her pajamas and into the clothes she wore to school that day. A grey sweatshirt (she'd had to double check it wasn't Wednesday in a panic this morning) with 'NSHS CHEER' in big blue letters on the front and her name on the back. Apparently if she's on the team long enough she can earn herself a squad nickname to put on the back instead. Maybe she'll put Merida on one. She always likes when Damian calls her that.

She hops around her room to pull her too-tight jeans up and tries to balance on one foot to tie on each of her shoes. It's cold outside now that the sun is starting to go down, so she grabs her varsity jacket to go on top and heads downstairs to wait for Janis to arrive.

She pauses in the hallway by the door to look in the mirror. She grimaces slightly when she sees herself.

So dorky. Her hair is big and bushy and curly, her freckles still haven't faded for the winter. This outfit is... yikes.

God, no wonder Shane picked you.

She jumps and snaps out of it when Janis texts her to tell her she's outside. Cady calls a goodbye to her parents and goes running to her girlfriend.

Janis smiles at her as soon as she pulls open the door to her car. "Hey."

"Hi," Cady echoes breathlessly, both from her quick run and the beauty of her girlfriend's face. She hesitantly leans halfway across the center console for a kiss. Janis happily bends down to reciprocate and leans after her for a second so it doesn't have to end.

"Where are we going, my lady?" Janis asks in a terrible posh British accent as she puts the car back in drive and starts making her way out of the suburbs.

"You pick," Cady says, taking Janis' hand to hold on the way. "And work on your accents."

Janis gasps, feigning offense. "How rude. Just because mine isn't as good as yours."

"As mine?" Cady questions.

"You have an accent," Janis says. "You didn't know?"

"No," Cady says. "Well, I knew I had one when I was little, but I thought it went away now that I've lived here for a while."

"It's faint. But it's cute," Janis shrugs. Cady feels herself blush and looks down at their interlocked hands.

"Huh," she squeaks.

"You're blushiiiiing," Janis teases, leaning in against her as they come to a stoplight.

"You're meeeeean," Cady retaliates, sneaking a quick smooch against Janis' dimple. Janis feigns offense again.

"I am not, I'm taking you to get food," she replies, putting her hand back on the steering wheel as the light turns green.

"Yeah, that I'm paying for," Cady giggles. Janis looks at her strangely for a split second before focusing on the road again.

"You're paying?"

"Yeah?"

"For both of us?"

"Yeah?"

"Like... a date?"

Cady freezes. Does this count as a date? Should their first real, official date be more special? Cady didn't even ask Janis on a date. She didn't even ask her in person! She's not wearing nice clothes, she made Janis drive-

"Stop spiraling," Janis murmurs gently.

"But I didn't ask you right!" Cady bursts out. Janis laughs.

"What do you mean you didn't ask me right? You asked me out," she replies.

"But not on a date. Just, like, on an outing," Cady says frantically.

"Was it supposed to be a date?"

"No!" Cady says. "But... I want it to be."

"Okay. Then this is a date," Janis says like it's that simple.

"But I didn't ask you on a date!"

"You don't have to!" Janis laughs. "It's okay, Cads, it can be a date without us explicitly using the word date."

"But it's our first date," Cady says. "I should at least ask you on a date properly."

"So ask me."

"What?"

"Ask me now," Janis says. "We aren't there yet, it's not too late."

"Okay," Cady says. "Janis."

"Caddy."

"Will you please go on a date with me?"

"Nah."

"Wh- hey!"

Janis laughs as Cady splutters in shock at her response. "I'm kidding. Of course I'll go on a date with you."

"You're terrible."

"Hey now," Janis giggles. She kisses Cady's knuckles and gives her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven," Cady giggles. "Where are we going?"

"Hank's Diner," Janis says. "You'll love it. It's kinda cliche, but it's this, like, fifties-style diner. It's an institution but nobody really knows about it. And their food is amazing."

"Sounds great," Cady says with a soft smile. Janis looks at her with one of her own, and they continue the drive in peaceful silence.

——

Cady understands what Janis meant when she described the diner. It's cute, but it's a small establishment on the side of the highway. Even the outside is fifties-themed, with the fifties architecture and neon signs in the windows. There's maybe five other cars in the parking lot and most of them are on the employee side. Janis gently runs her hand over the brick of the hole-in-the-wall place as they walk in.

They seat themselves in an out of the way booth in the furthest corner, a window behind Janis shining light from the setting sun over their worn, speckled table as they slide into the red leather seats.

A waitress is mopping a sticky spill off the black and white checked floor when she notices them at the table looking over the menu. Cady was relieved by the deceptively small appearance until she found out it unfolded to be roughly the same size as her. How do they have this much food and still manage to stay in business?

Luckily, the waitress just takes their drink orders to start with, so Cady has plenty of time to peruse and decide what she wants to eat. Janis ordered a water until Cady poked her head up from behind her massive menu and told her to get whatever she wants, even though Cady's paying. Janis switched to order a soda for each of them and a strawberry milkshake. Cady was confused until she ordered two straws with it.

The waitress gives them a faint smile when she puts together the situation. Cady smiles back and thanks her as she turns to go fetch their order.

"God, this menu is huge," she mutters anxiously, resting it on the table to read like a book. A whole page just for different kinds of cheeseburgers?

"Yeah, it is. It kinda helps if you know what you're hungry for going in. Helps narrow it down," Janis chuckles. She takes Cady's menu from her and folds it up. "Here. Real quick, what kind of food do you want?"

"Um... breakfast?" Cady says. Janis nods.

"Savory or sweet?"

"Huh?"

"Like, eggs and omelets and bacon and stuff, or like pancakes and waffles and French toast?"

"Um... uh... waffles," Cady says after a moments consideration.

"Okay. Do you want them with fruit, chocolate, or chicken?"

"Mm... fruit."

"Strawberries, blueberries, or bananas?"

"How many can I pick?"

"Uh... up to three," Janis reads from the menu. "So, all of them, I guess."

"All of them," Cady nods.

"Syrup flavor?"

"I dunno, normal?"

"So order a Belgian waffle with the works and maple syrup on the side, and then whatever sides you want with it," Janis says, handing Cady back her menu and pointing to the sides section. This is much more manageable.

"What are you gonna get?" Cady asks as she decides in her head what she wants.

"I dunno, I usually get the same thing every time. But I'm feeling adventurous today," Janis hums.

"What do you normally get?"

"...Chicken tenders." Janis admits sheepishly. Cady giggles.

"That's cute," she says. Janis groans quietly and ducks behind her menu. "Why are you hiding? You're like a turtle."

"Stop it!" Janis calls from behind her menu hiding spot.

"I'm not doing anything!"

"You're bullying me," Janis says in exasperation.

"I am not, come on," Cady says with another giggle. She gently pokes Janis' shin with the toe of her shoe.

"Yes you are!"

"Well how am I supposed to make it better if you won't come out?" Cady asks.

"I'm gay."

"Not like that, dork," Cady huffs around a laugh. "I mean, I hope you are, since we're already here."

"Hmph."

With much more finesse than she normally has, Cady whacks the top of Janis' menu until it hits the table, stands up, leans across the table and gently kisses Janis' nose. Janis squeaks and flushes a remarkable shade of scarlet at the flurry of actions. "Better?"

Janis pouts, but nods a little bit. Cady smiles.

"Good. What do you think you'll get this time?"

"I dunno," Janis sighs. "It is a really big menu."

Cady takes her menu to return the favor. "My turn. What kind of food do you want?"

Janis smiles at her, folding her arms and leaning a bit closer into the table. "I want... dinner."

"Okay. Sandwich-y stuff, soupy stuff, or... other stuff?"

"Uh... I guess sandwich-y stuff," Janis says with a chuckle.

"Cold sandwiches, melts, or burgers?" Cady asks, flipping and scanning the menu as Janis narrows down what she wants.

"Definitely burgers," Janis answers confidently.

Cady flips to the very large burger section. "What do you like on your burgers?"

"Not too much meat. I like veggies," Janis says.

"Mushrooms?"

"Eh, sure," Janis says, nodding and shrugging at the same time.

"This Swiss mushroom thingy looks pretty good," Cady says, pointing to show Janis what she means. Janis leans in and peeks at the menu. She nods and takes it back.

"Thanks," she says, smiling at Cady. Cady smiles back.

"You're welcome."

They're lost in each other's eyes when the waitress comes back to drop off their drinks and take their food orders. They both jump and blush as they stutter out their orders before she turns on her heel and disappears to the back once more.

Cady's apt to get... distracted again if she looks back at her girlfriend so soon, so she takes the opportunity to look around the quaint establishment.

The neon signs in the front window are backwards from the inside. One flickers as it reads Hank's, and the other blinks and flashes Open in red letters with a blue ring around it. A counter sits right inside the door, with a perpetually-sticky looking countertop surrounded by stools made of a shiny silver metal and red leather to match the booths.

The menu above it shows all the different sodas, floats, milkshakes, and malt drinks that are available in their beloved old-fashioned way. A little cartoon hamburger next to it says Hank's has been here since 1953 and still serves most of their food the same way they did when they opened.

A few other people have come in now that it's closer to dinner time. It's early, around 4:30, but Cady supposes these people just eat early. A man and his son sit at the counter, presumably on their way home after a long day at school and work, sipping on chocolate milkshakes through matching red straws. Another couple sits a few booths away, and an elderly man is eating a club sandwich at the one closest to the door. Cady and Janis are still at their table in their own little corner.

A jukebox is close by, faintly playing some country-sounding song that Cady doesn't recognize. The old man gets up and puts a few dollars in to pick one he prefers before he shuffles back over to continue his meal.

"This place is so cute," Cady says, finally looking back to her girlfriend. Janis smiles.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," Cady says, leaning her elbow against the table and resting her head in her hand. "How long have you been eating here?"

"Since my family moved, basically," Janis shrugs. "Stevie wouldn't sleep unless she was on a car trip, so we used to just... stick her in her seat and drive around so she'd nap. And my parents found this place. They'd go on dates here a lot, and they'd take me for like, my birthday and stuff. We actually came here so often one of the chefs knew us. My dad took me here after doctor's appointments and he gave me extra fries every time I got a shot."

"That's really cute," Cady says with a smile. She reaches out across the table to link their hands. Janis hesitates, looking around for a second, but she smiles to herself as she laces her warm fingers through Cady's and squeezes.

Their food comes then. Cady smiles as her waffle is rested in front of her. Janis has a similar reaction to her delicious-smelling burger. She's looking at Cady the whole time, though. Weird.

Cady leaves their hands laced as she spreads some 'butter' over her waffle. She's learned from her months in America that most places actually use margarine. It doesn't taste as good, but at least it spreads a little bit better.

The butter gets stuck in the few squares in the middle. Cady uses her knife to scrape some out and put them in other squares. She follows it with the syrup and scoops some of the fruit on the rim of the plate on top.

"Looks delicious," Janis comments.

"Do you want some?" Cady asks, pausing with a bite on her fork halfway to her mouth. Janis shakes her head as Cady shifts to hold it in front of Janis' face. Janis hesitates when it's in front of her lips, but she does lean in for the first bite.

She hums contently when the sweet, fluffy waffle hits her taste buds. She chews and points to her burger with raised eyebrows and a questioning hum. Cady shrugs back and nods faintly. Janis picks up the massive thing and reaches across the table for Cady to take a bite.

Cady chomps into it, chewing thoughtfully as the juicy burger grinds between her molars. She pulls a face as she gets the earthy flavor of the mushrooms and Swiss cheese. Janis chuckles, holding the waffle she has yet to swallow in her cheek. "No good?"

"I don't like mushrooms," Cady responds in disgust. "Or Swiss cheese."

"Then why did you try some?!" Janis laughs. "It's literally called the Swiss mushroom burger, Peanut."

"It smells really good!" Cady responds. She forces herself to swallow and quickly chases it with a bite of her own meal. Janis quietly rests a couple of her french fries on the side of Cady's plate to make up for it. "Thanks, babe."

Janis smirks at her and takes a bite of her burger. "Babe?"

"Hm?" Cady hums. "Isn't that what... couples... call each other?"

Janis shrugs and nods. "Yeah, sometimes."

"Do you not like it?" Cady asks sadly.

"No! No, I like it," Janis says immediately, coughing as she chokes the slightest bit on her burger. Cady sighs in relief.

"Good."

"Good," Janis echoes.

They make light conversation as they eat. Their hands have separated, but their eyes never do. Cady laughs goofily at a joke Janis makes, and Janis laughs so hard some quip Cady makes that a sip of her soda comes out her nose. She groans in pain and continues laughing as she uses her napkin to clean herself off.

The portions are so big that neither of them quite manage to finish it. The waitress brings them some to-go boxes along with the bill, so they pack up their leftovers and rest them on the booths beside them. Cady winces the slightest bit at the high price of their meal, but she puts her card down and signs on the dotted line anyway. Janis is worth it.

Janis slides the previously forgotten strawberry milkshake to the middle of the table and smiles as she pops both thick straws into it. She takes one and nods to Cady, signaling she should take the other. Cady smiles and holds the other straw between her fingers, and they lean in at the same time to take a sip.

The milkshake is partially melted, just enough to be easier to sip and not enough to just be... milk. Their noses are so close together they're almost touching. Cady flicks her eyes up to meet Janis', and they both grin sheepishly at each other around their straws. The drink is cold, but Cady doesn't know that she's ever felt so warm.

The waitress brings Cady's card back as they sip the last of the shake. Cady slips it back into her wallet and stretches as she stands, trying to get the dense meal to settle in her stomach. Janis does the same and carries both styrofoam containers of food to the car, holding Cady's hand in the other.

Cady pouts when they have to separate to actually get in the car, and smiles widely as Janis immediately offers her hand again as soon as the engine turns over.

"That was a lot of fun," Cady murmurs, fiddling with Janis' rings. She spins them around her long, slender fingers and twists the charms on the few that have them.

"Yeah, it was," Janis responds quietly. She looks briefly at Cady as they head down the road back towards home. She smiles as she looks back to the road. Cady smiles too, looking out her own window.

"Good first date?"

"Perfect first date."

Cady squeezes her hand. Janis squeezes back.

Absolutely perfect.

—————

thanks for reading!!

ok quick important thing!! little insight as to part of why this took so long. if you follow me on tumblr or read my matilda stuff you’ve probably already seen what happened but my fics were stolen.

someone on ao3 who went by the handle wlwsharks had been stealing several of my fics and reposting them for different fandoms with new names. so. that was a real fun thing to deal with (not) and it really put me off writing for a good long while.

there was a week where i was having panic attacks every time i thought about writing because i was so scared things would be stolen again if i posted them. i didn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.

this might seem like an overreaction to some of you but please remember that i am disabled. every single thing i write and every single thing i post has taken weeks and probably months of work on my part. i pour my heart and soul into everything i do and it does take a lot out of me even though i love it and all of you so so so much. seeing my things i’ve worked so hard on stolen so carelessly and getting (in most cases, more) love for it hurt more than i can express.

all this to say, if you’ve ever thought about plagiarizing: don’t! good lord.

if you’re in the wednesday or the owl house fandom or things of that nature, please please please keep an eye out. do not let this person come back. and for any fandom, if you see something that feels off, please please please look into it. you could save a fellow writer a whole lot of heartache <3

also to wlwsharks if you happen by some chance to read this. go to hell.

for the rest of you, thank you for the constant love and support. i love you all very much and hope have an amazing day.

hope you enjoyed this!

lots of love,

ezzy <3

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical #mean girls on broadway #mean girls the musical #picking teams

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kallurances · 2 years ago

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s1e1 the rise of voltron (pt 1) liveblog

inexplicably, i've been thinking a lot abt voltron lately and suffice to say, I Am Not Immune to Voltron U_U i'm rewatching the series again and i thought it would be fun to document my thoughts and rxns! so, *ryan bergara voice* w/o further ado, let's get into this

the show opens on shiro (and the rest of the kerberos crew)! i can’t believe the opening lines to one of the most infamous cartoons of all time was smth as boring as ice AGSJDL but wow this escalates pretty quickly

this shot of shiro’s eyes widening in horror as he’s being dragged by the galra is so chilling, my poor guy T-T

garrison trio time!

god lance is pretty

interesting how lance’s introduction is him acting as the trio’s leader during the mission simulation - obv the simulation was a bust, but it’s cool that our first glimpse at the character was him trying to keep the team functioning together under a high pressure situation (which he will go on to do again and again!) and it’s interesting how he ‘fails’ in this leadership role here, and then fails in becoming the black lion's pilot in s3 as well. hmmmm

also the fact the kerberos mission had a trio too, are the garrison trio supposed to parallel that? lance - shiro are the pilot leaders obv, pidge - matt are the comm guys? hunk - sam are the engineers? or maybe the other way around

pidge getting angry at iverson and lance diverting attention away from her onto him !!! this boy is always looking out for others bless his heart

oh man this shot of lance as iverson rubs salt into his wounds :( i wonder if this was the root of his insecurities . . . how he projects this ‘rivalry’ onto keith was def a result of how he was always being compared to him, feeling very Sad that we literally never got a satisfying resolution to this piece of characterization El Oh El

i like lance a lot could you tell

overall, i rlly love the garrison simulation, it’s such a great scene in introducing 3 more main characters and setting up another one, and then digging into what makes 2 of them tick . . . that’s good writing! trying to savor it while it lasts lol

lance and hunk go try to get pidge sneak out with them! i like how hunk doesn’t want to be doing this, but he’s not going to let lance do this alone lol (he’s a support)! and lance places such a big emphasis on team cohesion and bonding, yup!!! he keeps the team together! that is his role as a supporting leg! they’re both the supporting legs!!!

lance is so good at reading people, love how smoothly he slid into that “that right? all the way to kerberos?” line. he’s observant and great at picking up social nuances i lov my social butterfly

hunk is sooo cute i love how he needs to get a feel of the cool tech asap

aw man seeing shiro being strapped down and struggling :( they never gave this guy a break huh

keith intro!

the fact he gets introed through lance’s eyes lol it will never not crack me up how iverson was telling him not to follow in his footsteps, and then lance went and did exactly that LOL

also lance going "we need a distraction" and keith immediately providing one, they have been a good team since day 1!!!

god this keith was so cool. the bandana? planting bombs on military property? these badass moves? Sick. S6-onward keith could never

love the way lance talks it’s so funny

and keith doesn’t rmbr him OUCH side note love how they’re both supporting an unconscious shiro, def a nod to how lance supports keith as a leader in s3

im sorry but i understand why klancers were/are insane like what a hell of a first meeting

this bike chase scene is probably in my top 5 voltron scenes lol so iconic

god keith is pretty

keith’s desert shack! this moment btwn shiro and keith is so lovely, love the bg of the breaking dawn as shiro slowly readjusts to being free from his captors

hunk is a genius, and luv how lance hyped him up! also love how nosy hunk is hehe, such a fun character trait

this lance and shiro moment! the way he was genuinely a bit awestruck aww shiro was his idol!!! it makes me so mad every time i rmbr they proceeded to do nothing with this relationship like THE POTENTIAL.

god lance is pretty pt 2

blue and lance were besties from the start ohhh im gonna throw up thinking abt how they just threw that relationship into the trash too

like she chose him! out of all the possible candidates, she chose him, the seemingly average guy, she waited when keith (the pilot prodigy!) was hanging around for a yr or so bc she wanted lance! im gonna cry

lance is having so much fun!!! i feel like this is a trait that got lost in later seasons iirc, like he loves piloting and he loves being in a lion (esp blue)! look how excited he is aww

scream the garrison saw the blue lion in the desert . . . was this acknowledged in the s7 garrison plot like was it at this moment they started preparing for alien entities?

help not hunk suggesting they just give blue up . . . yeah he's not exactly lining up to become a protector of the universe, but that's what his s1 arc is all about!!! he has to learn to not be so hesitant and that he can make a difference

i like how lance and the rest of them defer to shiro, and then shiro places an emphasis on deciding their next course of action together . . . *abed nadir voice* It Was At This Moment They Stopped Being Strangers and Started Being a Team

so funny how lance obv looks up to shiro and respects him a lot but he couldn't pass up an opportunity to make a fart joke in front of him lol

the castle of lions!!! it does an identity scan, how does it determine that they’re not adversaries? maybe it picked up smth on their quintessences that marked their connection to their lions or smth like that?

i love the majestic-techno feel of the castle of lions, but dang seeing it so empty and hollow . . . :( can you imagine how lovely it must have been in altea’s heyday

also who built this bridge leading to the castle??? maybe the arusians?

PRINCESS ALLURA IS HERE!!! my love my light my stars and moon and sun

side note this would have made a pretty iconic ~meetcute~ btwn the potential endgame romance if lance hadn’t immediately flirted and tried to be ~suave~ . . . my least fav aspect of his character, im glad they dropped this by s3, but i do wish they had made him acknowledge in the show that this kind of behavior was Not It

actually ykw i don’t trust the writers to handle that so ill just be glad that they dropped it ig

side side note the healing pod area washes out the brown skinned members so bad RIP lance looks particularly awful sorry bb 😔

i forgot abt allura hating on earth ears i screamed

the way coran seems more alert than allura when waking up ohhhh i would like to know how his final moment with alfor went

this scene btwn coran and lance doing attack moves at e/o is so funny like scream this rlly captured how teen boys are, and hunk going "these guys are good" 😭

also notice how lance is the common factor in the whole gang getting together? he drags out hunk to the desert bc he wants to bond with pidge, he is the one who follows keith and helps him save shiro, he is the one the blue lion accepts and kickstarts the whole space adventure, he is the one who catches allura, he's even first one to interact with coran

allura is the heart of voltron, and lance is the glue maybe? it's a blue paladin thing

flashback to altea's last day ohhh :''' the stress lines under allura’s eyes my baby 😞

how did haggar sense allura waking up? was it bc of the blue lion’s awakening or?

oh shit sendak

will continue thoughts in a pt 2 post!

#v.log #lb

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merakis-menagerie · 14 days ago

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⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

Hello my little rams and lambs (work in progress lol).

I'm bored on Valentine's day so Imma indulge in a little fan service to myself. I'm gonna write about what me and my (I hate this word sometimes) harem would do. Note all of these characters are my different sonas/yumes partners so not tech a harem lol.

Velvet and Myra

So little background, the two met during the 4th holy grail war in Fuyuki, Japan and she helped to protect him during his time as a master. After they parted ways and Myra went with a team to continue to unearth artifacts while the event of Lord El-melloi took place. They crossed paths a couple times, but small interactions. The two became close mostly during the events of the 4th war.

5-6 years later the two meet again, each year Velvet invites Myra to a dinner but each year she never shows (to busy or something lol). This year was no different, he held out hope and just as he's about to leave Myra walks through the door. She's a bit flustered about being very very late, and explains that Merlin wasn't very helpful in deciding what to wear. (In the lore Myra is a scholar of magic and once happened to find herself in the company of Merlin, fun fact between all three AU's wear my sona is with a character from fate she meets Merlin and he's a silly guy like usual) the two have dinner and unbeknownst to them they are being watched. If you've seen or read the El-melloi anime/manga you would know his students are nosy, and are spying on the two of them after seeing Velvet walk into the restaurant. After diner the two go for a walk and she tells him she has a gift. She gifts him an artifact (idk what yet) from Iskandar's past from a dig site (shhhh she totally was allow to take it...) and he says he does too. He pulls out a box and inside is a simple silver band. It's been a long time and he explains that the two of them clearly both love each other but care a lot about their careers and such. To not think about it as a "time to start a new life" or a weight but as a continuation of their lives. That the two of them are bound together in their love and dedication, that they don't have to be alone in the world. Also that they can pursue their dreams with the other side by side. teehee how cuteeeee!!!

Technically Velvet waver has been my fav character of all media for 11 years, and I call any fictional character I like my husband (as a joke aka non serious so if you like him to please do <3) so we've been "married" for 11 years hahahah thats wild.

Simon Riley X Seth

So I really like being strict with lore for character and their cannon personalities. So Ghost isn't this book-tok horny ass bitch lol. He's just a normal guy lol. So time for a little background, only thing you need to know is Seth is older (not important but I think it's funny cause most yumes/ocs are younger by a lot and smoll (I love them tho silly little ocs)), he's serious sometimes but immature most of the time, and he's a heli pilot like nikolai (rarely a jet pilot) he was made when I was little like 8 as an oc cause I was playing cod when I was that young... I love my parents hahaha. He's evolved since but he lies in the original MW trilogy not the new series, idk where he would fit in, I'll worry about that later...

I would like to think if they had the chance (Seth tells Simon how he feels two missions before his death) Seth enjoys arcades and they would go to one and Seth would try to win as many prizes for Simon as he could, tho Simon could couldn't care less... and only takes the keychain, he attaches it took his gun and cause it's a tie on keychain it don't make any sound to compromise his stealth. Fun little note Seth doesn't know Ghost name until after he dies lol. Also another fun fact Seth's code name in the military is "Sugar cube" because he acts all nice and sweet then scares the shit outta you will his flying abilies, and he added one to many sugars to his second lieutenant and got the hot tea thrown at him...

AGAIN LIKE I SAID AFTER VELVET. If you don't like that I like your fav character just don't interact. I care not for your feelings on the matter and am unaffected by it. I love that you love the character because then we get more media of that character because of the support <3 so keep loving Ghost and Velvet

#yume #yumeship #waver velvet #ghost call of duty #oc x character

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actualbird · 3 years ago

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observations on the boys' personal story 3s part 1: vyn, luke, and opposite methods resulting in a similar consequence

[obligatory disclaimer that these r just my own thoughts and interpretations. spoilers for perso story 3 and some cards here and there too]

so ive been percolating thoughts in my brain bout the perso story 3s and it's fascinating to me how some of the boys' stories are acting as two sides of a similar coin or linking directly with similarities despite being so so different at first glance. currently, im still not done with marius' but ive already put together some thoughts about vyn and luke, so i'll go thru this first:

vyn and luke are doing opposite "methods" irt how theyre treating mc. ive seen a few other people talk about this and YES, THANK GOD because this was the first thing i picked up on after finishing vyn and luke's personal story 3s.

vyn wants to expose mc to the darkness of the world, and luke (albeit indirectly and not much a focus in his personal story but still apparent in like, literally everything else hes ever done) wants to shield and protect mc from the darkness of the world.

but while these seem to be opposites, theres a p clear link still between what theyre doing

vyn richter: controlled exposure

vyn's rationale for his exposure is clearly explained in the flashback of the very last bit of his perso story 3, in his monolog about eagles teaching their young how to fly.

(pictured: vyn making the knife cat expression. oh and also the metaphor)

and like, while this is a KINDA INTENSE WAY TO WORD IT, LOL (part of me thinks that this was vyn tryna one up cap morgan in this scene by wholly unsettling him. TACTICS!) this completely tracks. like, Yeah, experience leads to growth and in a world as complex and fucked up as the world is, exposure to the ugly and scary and whatnot helps one learn and become stronger.

however, i think it's key to note the context of the eagle monolog. this whole bit happens cuz captain "third wheel" morgan criticizes not just vyn's choice to allow mc to talk with uhhhh whatshisname, the PUA poet guy who looks like nearly every dude i saw in the fine arts department of my college. morgan also criticizes vyn's choice to keep mc in the dark.

morgan and vyn hatched this plan together, and for a while, mc was missing parts of the story and chunks of information. vyn wants to expose her to the evils of the world for her growth, yes, but he also does so in a controlled manner where he held more of the cards and set up more of the situations.

it's exposure but it's controlled by the strings vyn is pulling.

let me now pivot to luke.

luke pearce: controlled protection

luke's personal story 3 indirectly tackles his desire to protect mc. at this point, hes still keeping his illness a secret and also works hilariously hard keeping sphynx's true identity away from her. this is luke still protecting mc from certain darknesses (i.e. his illness, aaron who would also link to his illness)

(pictured: luke pearce digging an even deeper hole for himself)

but outside of his perso story 3, the protection shtick is apparent as hell.

main story 5.1 and the whole NOOOO, LEAVE THE NXX TEAM, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!! lost gold and the whole nOOO, I DONT WANT U TO SEE MY MURDER SIDE!! smaller moments here and there where luke employs a well-meaning but ultimately condescending kind of chivalry: sott and the whole TOMB EXPLORING IS DANGEROUS TOUGH WORK, LET ME DO IT. him doing 90% of the work in SR Timely Rescue and making mc feel like crud, him being overprotective in SSR Iridescent Heartbeat and making mc pissed. YOU GET MY POINT.

overprotection leads to controlling another person's actions. this is what they can and cant do, what they can and cant know, etc.

like listen, im a luke stan, and to me, this is one of his most apparent and interesting character flaws: he wants to protect so much to the point that he ends up disregarding mc's feelings and right to make her own choices.

putting things together: exposure and protection act as opposites, but both vyn and luke are controlling whats happening

looking at vyn and luke together shows that theyre not as different as theyd first seem: vyn goes the route of exposing mc to world's bad parts but it's an exposure hes still ultimately in control of. luke goes the route of protecting mc from the world's bad parts in a way that, whether intentional or not, attempts to control her actions.

both of them are doing what theyre doing out of love. they want mc safe. vyn sees her safety as something that will grow along with her skills and potential due to the exposure and while that happens, he'll play protector at the sidelines, ready to swoop in should she ever be in danger. luke sees mc's safety as something that can persist so long as he acts as a shield from all dangers, be it situations or cases or information he doesnt want her to know.

vyn and luke are employing these opposite methods out of the same motivation: love for mc

yet these opposite methods also results in a similar consequence: removing mc's agency to a certain extent.

i'd like to see this tackled as the stories progress. luke said in his perso story 3 that he doesnt wanna lie anymore, but hes....still lying a lot sdkfhsd. at least theres awareness now! baby steps!!

meanwhile vyn's story hinted at his method maybe failing in the future, with darius' warning to him that vyn wont be able to control everything in the world, even vyn has limitations.

at some point, the control both of them are exhibiting is gonna fall through and things will come to light

then mc will see whats been hidden from her, and from there, she the choices she makes are truly unimpeded and wholly hers.

#tears of themis #luke pearce #vyn richter #tot luke #tot vyn

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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rude boy

— As the captain of the volleyball team, you have to set a good example of staying firm to your rule of not dating the male players...but perhaps you’re willing to bend the rules a little bit when a rude boy is kind enough to show you why you’re wrong.

CONTENT/WARNINGS. smut, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), hard!dom suna, slight exhibitionism, doggy style, overstimulation, mild breeding kink, cumplay, implied size kink, degradation with praising kink (LOL), soft! aftercare suna

NOTE. oh hell yeah we’re turning into a haikyuu blog. i can’t believe i’m writing for a character i haven’t even met yet but hey SUNA RINTAROU SUPREMACY. I’m in love with him, maybe much more than I like Akaashi, but can you blame? he’s sexy AF. tagging @noritoshiikamo

SONG INSPOS. Rude Boy, Disturbia, Where Have You Been All My Life (Rihanna)

Win after win, your school is glorious and honourable once more. Not only did the men’s volleyball team, but as the captain of the women’s team, you proudly carried awards just as they did.

You’re on the dance floor, hazily dancing to the beat with your red cup already empty. It’s rare that people organized after parties but you made it Nationals this time around; surely it’s not too bad to let everyone let loose. Besides, the managers weren’t around and everyone seemed to be having fun, bringing in their plus ones or making out with their fellow teammates.

You scowl at the sight. The one thing you hate the most is breaking formalities and relationship autonomies – everyone knows that you have one strict rule: No dating the players for the men’s team.

Naturally, your team members are more than flabbergasted. The male players are gorgeous after all, but you’ve grown up with the Miya twins; you know beauty could never be enough of a reason for your precious teammates to be used for pleasure and dumped to the side once they’ve had their fill. You all have a bright future ahead of you, with goals and dreams to be fulfilled; one that you won’t allow to be trampled upon by these men.

You’re about to head back to the kitchen for another drink when someone holds you in place, large, calloused hands gripping at your hips. You’re about to elbow the intruder when the familiar scent of musky spicy cologne, mixed with sweat and something that was solely him, you relaxed.

“Can’t keep your hands to yourself for the whole party, Suna?”

“You’re here,” his bored, deep voice is sultry as it coos in your ear. Unable to help yourself, you shiver at his touch, your back pressed against the warmth of his chest. “I don’t see a reason to.”

“You’re a little touchy tonight,” you comment, the glare of your eyes softening as the alcohol loosens the usual composed and strict captain in you, falling back into his touches that tell a promise of something more later. Maybe it was the music, maybe it was because you miss him too – whatever it was, you’re grinding onto his front, the middle blocker humming as a warning in your ear not to tease him too much. You being you though, you only push back harder, allowing him to set the pace by squeezing your waist. “You act like you don’t see me all the time.”

“Doesn’t mean I get to feel you all the time,” his voice turns husky, the mere sound of his voice mixing with the party’s music increasing your arousal. You breathe sharply when Suna cups your core experimentally, thankful that his body is big enough to hide what he’s doing. “Upstairs?”

“Here, Suna? In a party?”

“Can you wait until we get home?” he taunts, chuckling when he sees the way your lips press into a thin line. “As I thought.”

Tch, he doesn’t have to be so cocky about it.

Suna leads you upstairs before pushing you inside the closest empty room, his lips hands everywhere on you the moment the back of your knees hit the bed. He’s eager and needy, his arousal evident from how he’s bucking the tent in his pants against your hands. His tongue prods you to open your mouth, and just to tease him, you refuse him access, slipping your hands inside his pants instead to swipe a thumb over his thumb.

He growls at your teasing, retaliating by pinching your boob followed by a flick over your nipple. Suna isn’t only an expert at volleyball; he’s a master of your body too, able to play you and hit the right spots all the fucking time.

He’s aware of this when he finally gets what he wants – a shocked moan from you that nearly makes you fall back on the bed if it wasn’t for his other hand tugging at your wrist to slam you back to his body. Suna doesn’t waste his time in kissing you, sucking on your tongue until you both start fighting for dominance. Just as he’s lost and crazed by the pent up sexual frustration of watching one another play at court today – to see the other so close yet so far away – you swallow his small, little groans into your mouth, your hand eagerly pumping and spreading his pre-cum all over the base of his shaft.

Suna’s cock twitches into your palm, prompting you to squeeze the length at the same time you bite down on his lip. Hard.

His eyes snap open moments before he comes, his touch rough and even bruising when he pushes your arm away from his. As if a switch has been flipped inside him, his eyes have grown darker, his hands running down your form hungry and even animalistic.

Your eyes widen when Suna goes down on his knees, deft fingers tugging at the waistband of your shorts. “S-Suna, what’re you doing—”

“Shh, I want to taste you,” your hands find home in his hair as he helps you shimmy out of those tight, ass-hugging material that had him rock hard during your whole match. He wants to punish you for it, for nearly distracting him when it was his turn to play; the fact you’re always so unaware of the effect you have over him downright offensive. He has other plans in mind though, plans you’re about to discover when Suna suddenly licks at the swollen nub through your panties, making your thighs shiver. “Haven’t seen this pretty pussy in a long time,” he buries his face in your cunt, taking a huge whiff of the intoxicating scent of your arousal.

It’s almost perverted, you think, the way he’s rolling your hardened clit between his teeth, relishing in the way you’re falling apart for him like this, legs spread wide open.

Suna keeps you steady by squeezing your ass closer to his face until his nose is prodding at your lips, the sounds of your pretty moans and whines erotic enough that he feels like busting a nut right then and there. He holds back though, pulling away to breathe just to bite the lace down your legs. The whole time, he keeps his fox-like eyes on yours that are pooled with lust and something carnal, the grazing of his teeth collecting heat to pool at your core.

With two long fingers pulling your lips apart just for his eyes, he licks at your blossoming sex, pulling groans from both of you when he dives into your even harder.

Suna’s tongue is lapping at your dripping juices while you look down at him, pupils blown wide just as he smirks, he actually fucking smirks under you, his tongue suddenly plunging inside your sopping hole.

Your scream is muffled at the last moment when you bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood, the nails digging into his scalp making him hiss.

Nevertheless, Suna doesn’t stop, drinking all you can give him while his tongue laps at your walls. The warm, wet muscle exploring each inch of you has you grinding against his face, shameless as you fuck yourself harder on his tongue. Suna chuckles at your actions, the vibrations pushing you over the edge.

He can tell you’re cumming when you start to clamp down on him, the flowing of your arousal easily cleaned up with tight, consistent sweeps of his tongue.

Your eyes are shut tight as you prolong your orgasm by grinding your pelvic bone shamelessly on his cum-stained face. Then your legs wobble until you’re falling, shaking, but Suna pushes you down completely on the bed.

Your breathing is ragged once you see that he’s crawling above you in the same manner a predator stalks his prey, his smirk nothing but devilish while your juices spread on his cheeks gleam under the dim lights.

Suna uses one hand to discard your shirt before throwing it to other side of the room, one knee to pry your legs apart. Your eyes dart down to the sports bra you wore, not sexy at all especially with the Nike logo, and your cheeks warm at the realization. Arms coming up to hide yourself, you fail when Suna slaps your hands away, glaring at you.

“Stop covering yourself. You don’t have to wear lingerie to for me all the time – you know I’d fuck you either way.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to be shy when he rips the bra apart, mouth latched onto one nipple. You gasp when he plunges three fingers in, definitely different to his usual routine of prepping you, and you’re being stretched open by his fingers a little too fast that you’re clutching on his bicep to catch your breath.

“F-Fuck, Suna, can’t even be a little gentle? What happened to foreplay?”

“I’m tired from winning match by match today, baby. Being gentle is the last thing on my mind when you’re splayed out for me like this,” he pulls away just to release his fingers from you, twisting his hand back to back to grin pervertedly at the way your cum slicks his hand. Using that exact same hand, Suna covers his length with it as he hovers over you, pushing the tip of his cock past your lips.

He immediately notices the way you hitch your breath, fingers clutching desperately at the sheets as you struggle to accommodate for him despite already being so wet.

He was just so thick and feels so good – it’s always a challenge not to cum all the while he’s entering you. “Don’t look at me like that. You’ve taken me before,” he reminds you, hooking his arm under your knees before he stretches you further, your thighs flat on your chest. You gasp at the new sensation of feeling him so deep inside you, his whole practically atop your calves as he thrusts inside experimentally. “Come on, you’ll take this big cock like a good girl, won’t you?”

“S-Suna.”

“You feel even better than usual,” he praises you, his eyes narrowed and hazy with pleasure as he continues fucking into you. His thrusts are slow yet deep, bottoming out with each time that he knocks the wind off your lungs, successfully hitting that sacred, sweet sensitive spot inside you that only he could ever reach.

Suna smirks at the apparent pleasure written all over your face, teasing you further by grabbing the flesh of your hips while he drives his cock deeper. “You’re just clamping down on me like a bitch in heat,” he notes to mock you, but he wasn’t free of this pleasurable torture as well, not when your walls sucked him in greedily that it took most of his energy just to pull out from your grip. It must be because you’re exerted from today’s match just as he is, and Suna spreads one leg to the side, your knee pressed beside your head. “Muscle cramps? Can’t say I mind.”

“Shut up, Suna.”

“I think you need to shut up,” he stuffs his fingers in your mouth, his chuckles formed in stuttered breaths when you clamp down on him. “Clenching harder on me now? Didn’t peg you for someone who liked this shit,” Suna, having always been perceptive to your smallest reactions, leans over to you to cup your cheek, the tenderness in his eyes a huge contrast to how he’s filling you up to the brim, his hips delirious and delicious with each snap. “You’re just a dirty little whore, aren’t you? So good for me.”

“S-Suna,” you begin to reach for him, feeling that welcomed tightening of your stomach. You never like to admit it out loud, but you and Suna know you’re always so clingy and starved for touches when you’re about to him.

Your lips are puckered out, arms wrapping around his head to pull him in for a kiss when Suna smirks. He knows exactly what you want – and that’s exactly what you’re not gonna get.

He flips you until you’re flat on your stomach, encircling your waist to pull your ass flat against the ticklish hairs resting at the base of his cock, his pelvic bone snapping against your backside. You cry out at the new position, the need to touch him painfully deprived until you’re sobbing on the pillows, wanting nothing more than to kiss him as you came.

Suna Rintaro really is rude.

You came first before him, drool spilling from your lips when you’re left with no other choice but to fist the sheets. Suna’s groans are guttural, his usual pace of fucking you slowly now turns carnal. Sounds of skin slapping and his balls hitting your ass cheeks echo around the room, the sounds too loud that you both fail to hear the rushed footsteps and giggles until the door opens.

Suna feels you tense under him, the crashing waves of your orgasm dulled by the panic rising in your chest. You know he’s covering you, but your heart absolutely lurches in your chest when Suna only continues, scoffing at whoever entered the room.

You scramble to move yourself off him but Suna only holds you down, his palm flat behind your head, arms pinned at the small of your back until you’re completely incapacitated. Once again, Suna’s proved that he’s a man of control, especially when it comes to your body. He won’t fail to remind you again and again that your body is not yours – it has always been his and will always be his.

Once he starts moving again, deliberately and painfully slow to emphasize the embarrassing shlick coming from your pussy, Suna smirks at the new guests. “Rooms taken, idiot – find someplace else.”

“Fuck, is that the captain for the girl’s team?”

You bite down on your lip upon hearing Atsumu’s voice, desperate to prevent the sinful moans to be heard past your lips. You’ve built quite a reputation for being sharp tongued and even wicked when it comes to being strict – to have him hear of all people that his teammate could easily break you like this would be beyond damaging both to your pride and reputation.

Suna glares at the golden-haired boy who’s now forgotten the girl hanging off his arm, his head tilting past Suna’s uniformed frame fucking deep into you.

He could hear it, could hear the sloppy squelching of your sopping cunt, could even hear the way Suna’s breath sharpens, but he wants to see it, to witness this atrocity. Suna, however, wasn’t having any of it.

His possessive grip is intensified with the nails digging into your wrists when he only fucks into your harder, his feet now planted on the mattress as if to mark his territory. “Don’t look at my bitch. She’s mine,” he growled, pulling you by the hair until your head is splayed all over his shoulder, your breasts bouncing from the speed he’s ramming into you at. “Now leave.”

“Suna, don’t be fucking rude.”

The door closes afterwards, but not free from comments from Atsumu on how you had a pretty ass. This ticks Suna off, licking stripe down your neck and up your jaw, nose buried into the crook of your neck to memorize your scent coated with sex hanging off the air.

“You’d rather have them watch?” he slaps your ass, your moan whiny and pornographic – you were really truly different than what you want people to think of you. “Of course you’d like that, filthy slut,” he nibbles at your ear, reaching forward to rub at your clit until you’re shaking again, your second orgasm just looming around the corner. “But I don’t want to share you, baby. Now fuck yourself on my cock like the whore you are.”

He shoves you flat on the mattress again, your forearms weak as you heave your weight upwards. Your head is thrown to the side, back arched down low as you follow his command like a good whore as he’s called you. You gyrate your hips to swirl your pussy around his thick pole, pushing backwards again and again until you’re gasping, shaking, trembling and utterly fucked out.

Your pace is nothing compared to what Suna is capable off, but he’s tense, jealous even that he wants to assure himself he’s the one who could get you to feel this way, even if it meant giving you all the work alone.

“What’re you gonna do now that everyone knows about us?” he asks through gritted teeth, placing his hands at your hips just to steady yourself. Suna’s eyes are zeroed in on the way his length disappears around your pretty lips, so open and puffy as you use his dick to pleasure you. He takes pride at the way you moan, back arching and little growls on your lips when he finally snaps his hips, meeting you thrust by thrust.

“Are you finally giving into me?” he asks again for what seems like the hundredth time ever since he’s laid his eyes on you, thumb flicking over your clit again. You cry out as he does so, uncaring of the strain when your arms reach out behind him, touching him this time around. Suna allows you to do so, hugging your waist to pull you into him, pressing open-mouthed kisses to yours while you moan left and right.

You’re sweating, eyes shut tight and fingers calloused from years of playing volleyball pinching at your own slips. You look so lewd every time you’re thinking of nothing else but the pleasure he’s giving you and Suna grows harder inside you, his thrusts rough along with another slap to your ass.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that. You look so gorgeous bent over for me, you know, might as well just be officially mine.”

You manage to scoff through the pleasure, ignoring the way your heart flutters when Suna interlaces his fingers with yours above your breast, the both of you caressing the flesh tenderly. “I told you already, I’m never dating you.”

“And why not?” he challenges, the grip on your hips tightening again. “Who do you run to when you’re sad? Who do you bother when you’re happy? Who makes you feel good and fills you to the brim when your fingers just aren’t getting you off?” Unsatisfied with your silence, Suna snaps his hips harder, his grin wicked when you scream again, his name falling off your lips like a prayer – which is ironic, since he’s the one always worshipping you despite his need to be in control. “Isn’t it always me? Just say yes, baby, I’d get to do this to you all the time. You’re already fucking yourself on my cock like you’re my whore – what’s holding you back?”

“You’ll fuck me good if I say yes?”

“Aren’t I already?” To prove a point, Suna thrusts up deep and hard enough that he’s hitting your sweet spot again, a fucked out smile rewarding him afterward.

“But you’re a rude, rude person, Suna, oh, fuck,” Suna pinches your clit that makes you snap your eyes open, a seductive glare sent his way when he teases you. “See what I’m – ugh – talking about?”

“Then I’ll be nice for once,” he promises me, his thrusts growing sloppy as he pushes you over the edge. Your mouth hangs open in a silent, breathy sob – hands gripping at his thighs when the mere slipping of his length past your walls and kissing your cervix with each thrust pushes tears out of your eyes. Suna leans down to sloppily kiss away the tears, jaw clenched as he feels you tighten around him. “Cum for me. I’m allowing you to cum. Maybe I’ll fuck you again when we get home if you’re good enough. Fuck, gonna breed this pussy so good, you’ll be so fucking full.”

Your nails scratches blood moons into his skin, right at the spot that isn’t covered by his shorts anymore. Usually, he’s careful when it comes to markings that could affect his play, but you’re so pretty crying as you cream around his neck that tonight he doesn’t care.

Suna groans as you milk him dry with the way your walls are hallowing and clenching around him, making the tall player fall forward above you on the bed, his cum sputtering inside of you. His groans are deep and so fucking sexy right next to your ear, thumb absentmindedly still rubbing at your clit. You’re both panting as he slowly pulls out, the gush of both your cum dripping all the way down your ass. He snickers at the sight and swoops two fingers down, the heated and hard press of his fingers against your sensitive pussy sending chills everywhere in your body.

You’re about to complain as Suna pushes his cum inside you, but he silences you with a kiss, spreading the cum all around your lips until you’re a complete, sticky mess down there. You grimace at the sensation but Suna is moving beside you the next moment, his arms heavy across your breasts.

You blink when Suna presses affectionate kisses on the blades of your shoulder, wiping the remnants of cum across the sheets before tangling your legs with his. You frown in confusion but turn to him anyway, breathing in that cologne sticking to his skin that you love so much.

“I’m not used to you cuddling me.”

Suna smiles at the crown of your head, shifting lower so he could squish his cheeks at the flesh of your breasts. You watch as his usual bored face lights up happily like a kid with ice cream as he kisses the sides of your breast, hands gentle and delicate in making swirls over your hip. He’s almost...unrecognizable. “You should. This is going to be one of the privileges of dating me.”

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

“You will.”

His declaration is so self assured – as he always is – that you roll your eyes, threading your fingers through his sweat-matted hair. “How are you so sure I even like you back, dummy?”

“Because you’ve got no reason not to,” is all he murmurs on your skin, and well...he isn’t wrong about it, but you scoff anyway, thankful that his eyes are closed so he can’t see your smile. “Now shut up. Just hearing your voice makes me hard again and I don’t think I can go for another round. I’m beat.”

Perhaps...Suna Rintaro wasn’t such a rude boy, after all.

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specialagentsergio · 4 years ago

Text

side effects may vary

summary: An unexpected side effect brings you and Spencer closer—literally—when he’s prescribed a medication to help relieve his chronic nightmares.

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: prescription drug use, one small sexual reference, discussion of tornadoes (spencer gives a small infodump)

a/n: i wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins‘ “there was only one bed” event. when i saw the “medication makes someone sleepy” prompt, i had to take it, because this happens to me regularly lol.

word count: 2k

masterlist

It’s become a habit for you and Spencer: every Friday night you can, the two of you get together and watch a movie or show. It’s always at your place because he doesn’t have a TV, but he doesn’t mind—you have the better couch anyways. He thinks he could stay on it forever, especially on the nights where you don’t watch anything at all and talk for hours instead.

He made the mistake of mentioning this Friday night tradition to Morgan once. He’d questioned just why, exactly, Spencer liked going over to your place so much. Spencer hadn’t realized Derek was teasing him until he’d already come up with the lame excuse of your couch being really comfortable.

Morgan had chuckled. “I think it has less to do with the couch and more to do with the person who owns it, kid.”

He was right, of course, but was Spencer going to admit his silly little crush? Absolutely not. Especially not to Derek. He just continued going to your place every Friday, stubbornly ignoring the smirks and eyebrow wiggles sent his way from the man.

It’s one such night a few months later when an alarm on his phone goes off, making you both jump. He nearly spills the popcorn everywhere in his scramble to turn it off. “Sorry. It’s—wow, it’s nine already.” As usually happens when he’s with you, he’s lost track of time. It’s why he set the alarm in the first place.

“You have somewhere to be?” you ask.

“Um, no. I just…” he trails off, leaning forward to dig through his satchel at his feet, searching for the white paper bag he picked up from the pharmacy earlier in the day.

You don’t ask aloud, raising an eyebrow instead. It’s you providing him with an out—you’ll let him pretend he didn’t see it if he doesn’t want to answer the question.

He sighs, pulling the little orange bottle out, a prescription from the psychiatrist you’d coaxed him into seeing. “It’s just, uh… it’s supposed to help with, y’know… dreams,” he explains quietly.

“Nightmares,” you clarify.

“Yeah. That’s what the alarm was for.” He pops the cap and looks at the little pills inside. “To remind me.”

“We can finish this later,” you say with a gesture towards the TV. “It’s okay if you need to leave.”

He shakes his head. “She said to take it a few hours before bed. There’s plenty of time to finish.” Not that he cares that much about the show. He just doesn’t want to cut his time with you short.

“The bottle says it can make you drowsy, though,” you say, pointing out the little flap on the side of the bottle he hadn’t noticed.

“It won’t,” he dismisses nearly immediately, shaking a dose out into his hand.

“You can’t know that.”

“I’m a chronic insomniac. I’ve tried medication before. It doesn’t work,” he says firmly.

“If you say so,” you say, unconvinced.

“I do.”

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The words on their own typically imply annoyance or resignation, an insistence that the speaker knows better, but from you, all he can detect is amusement. And if he didn’t know better, he’d say your slight smile conveyed affection.

“Oh, I won’t,” he replies confidently, and takes the dose with a sip of water.

That confidence turns out to be misplaced.

It doesn’t happen quickly. You finish watching the current episode and he insists on another. About halfway through it, he starts to feel… different. A little… foggy and unfocused. Any movement he makes feels slow, and his eyelids are getting heavy. Try as he might, he can’t quite keep them open. He’ll rest them for just a minute….

“… encer. Spencer.” Something pokes his arm and he grumbles, shifting away.

“What?”

“It’s over.”

He blinks a few times, slowly reacquainting himself with his surroundings. Credits are rolling on the TV screen; he's about to ask why they look slanted, then realizes it's because he's slumped to the side. He pushes himself back to sitting, a delayed "oh" leaving his mouth. He rubs the sleep from one of his eyes, and catches your expression in the other.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything!" you protest but the little laugh punctuating your words gives away what he knew you were thinking: I told you so.

With a sigh, he begins gathering up his things, pulling his bag into his lap and untying his shoelaces so he can put them back on.

“What are you doing?" you ask.

"Um, going home?"

"You can't ride the Metro like this," you say. "You're half asleep."

He tries and fails to suppress a yawn, but still insists, "I'll be fine."

"Spencer, I don't like you riding the Metro this late even when you're totally lucid. You know that."

He does. You often express such worries on your Friday nights, offering to let him stay with you. He always declines. Your couch may be comfortable when he's sitting, but it's not long enough for his legs horizontally.

He also worries about what he might say in his sleep. He's been playfully teased by team members often enough already. The last thing he wants is to ruin your friendship by expressing his feelings for you in his sleep.

He's got one shoe on and is about to put on the other, but you snatch it away. "Hey."

"No,” you say firmly. "You're staying here tonight."

"(Y/N)--"

"Take your shoe off." You flip the TV off, stand, and stretch. "And come to bed."

His mouth drops open a little. Come to bed. Did he really just hear that? You say it like it's the most natural thing. It sounds so...domestic.

He really likes it.

His eyes follow you as you walk to your bedroom. You stop in the doorway and look back to him. "Come on."

He's in a bit of a daze as he walks towards you, not realizing he's still wearing one shoe for a few steps. He clumsily kicks it off, then follows you through the bedroom door and into the adjoining bathroom, where you provide him with a spare toothbrush.

Normally he wouldn't want to share toothpaste with someone. He's even refused to do so a few times on cases when his little travel-sized tube has run out, instead going down to the front desk of whatever place they're staying at for a replacement, no matter how tired he is. But tonight he doesn't even think twice, just takes the tube when you pass it to him. It simply feels...normal, as if you and him do this every night before bed.

I could get used to this.

Spencer's still a little groggy from the medication, so it isn't until he’s standing in the bedroom that he realizes that there’s a problem. "There's only one bed."

"Um, yeah," you reply. "What, did you think I had bunk beds?"

"No, I just..." He's not sure how to explain it when you're pulling back the covers like it’s any other night. "There's one bed... and two of us."

"That's correct. It's a queen. It's made for two people," you point out. You sit down on one side, then pat your hand on the other.

He slowly approaches the bed, but hesitates, twisting his fingers a little. Your expression shifts, and he blinks. Surely that's not a look of disappointment he's seeing?

Your voice is quiet when you speak. "Spencer, if you don't want to share a bed with me, you can just say it."

"What? No!" he exclaims. "That—that's not it at all."

"Okay, then, what is it?"

"The opposite,” he says with a nervous laugh. “I can't believe you want to share a bed with me."

"Why wouldn't I?" You say it so simply; he can hardly believe it.

"Well, because I'm... me," is the reply he comes up with. "I'm annoying, and I talk too much, and my limbs are all long and weird--"

"I don't think you're annoying, Spencer," you interrupt. "We wouldn't be friends if I did."

"Oh. I guess... I guess that's true. But my arms and legs--”

"Are fine,” you reassure.

“I…” He’s a little too out of it still to think of something else. “Well, okay.”

“Since that settled..." You smile up at him. "Would you get into bed?"

He can't help but smile back. "Okay."

You both settle in. Right before you turn off the light, he speaks again. "I talk in my sleep," he says quickly, heat rising to his cheeks. "Just thought you should know.

"So I'm gonna get your fun facts in the night, too?" you ask, the corner of your mouth turning up.

"Maybe." He fiddles with the collar of his shirt. "Derek says every night is a toss up between that or gibberish…”

You laugh. "Noted."

You turn the lights off and silence falls over the room as you both find comfortable positions. The medication definitely hasn't worn off; sleep is quickly approaching him again. He feels a light touch on his arm. It trails down to his wrist. A slight pause, then you're sliding your hand into his. On instinct he winds his fingers through yours. He hears a content sigh right before he drifts off.

---

Morning light spilling through the curtains wakes him up. He takes in a deep breath and stretches. He feels amazingly well rested; more than he has in a long time. And he had the best dream about you….

Spencer rolls over, then jumps a little—you're right there next to him, awake and looking at him with a soft expression.

"So it wasn't a dream," he says aloud.

You smile. "No, it wasn't.”

"We slept in the same bed," he says, dumbstruck.

"We did."

"You... held my hand?"

A nod and a bashful smile. “I did."

"Huh." He's quiet as he processes this and gathers his memories together. There's a question that comes to mind, but he doesn't know if he’s brave enough to voice it. Instead, he asks, "Did I sleep talk?"

"You did," you reply. "You told me the widest recorded tornado was 2.6 miles wide."

"The 2013 El Reno tornado," he says automatically. "It’s also the second most powerful tornado recorded. It occurred on May 31 of that year. Though it officially ranks as the widest tornado on record, current Doppler estimates of the 1999 Mullhall, Oklahoma tornado indicate that it may have been 4.3 miles wide."

You blink. "That's terrifying."

Spencer winces. "Sorry."

"It's okay." You hesitate a little, biting your lower lip, then slowly reach out and take his hand. Again, his fingers thread through yours perfectly.

He looks down at your joined hands, then back at you. His question from before returns. "What does this mean?" he asks quietly.

"It means..." You take a deep breath. "I like you.”

He frowns. "I know that. That's why we're friends."

"That's not what I meant." You squeeze his hand as if to remind him that you're holding it. "I meant that I like you as more than a friend."

His eyebrows shoot up. “Really?" he squeaks.

"Really," you confirm. "If you don't feel the same, I understa--”

You're cut off by him leaning forward and pressing the lightest little kiss on your lips.

"I like you as more than a friend, too," he says softly.

You give him the most wonderful smile. "Then get back here and kiss me properly."

Spencer obliges. He's never cared less about morning breath.

You scoot closer to him when you break apart and push his limbs around slightly to get into an embrace. "Finally," you murmur into the skin of his neck.

The sensation makes him shiver. “What do you mean?"

"I’ve been trying to get you into my bed for weeks."

He nearly chokes on his own sharp inhale. "I—what?"

"Not like that," you clarify. "I just wanted a good opportunity to confess. I figured you'd be too comfy in bed to run off right after I told you."

“You think I'd run off on you?"

You shrug. “You tend to remove yourself from a situation if your feelings get too intense. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, it’s the last thing I wanted to happen, you know?”

"Yeah, I get that,” he says. "I promise not to do it with you, though. About anything.”

You lift your head to look him in the eyes. “Kiss me again."

Spencer does.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

smut follow up: hands to myself

general taglist: @calm-and-doctor , @spencerreid9

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid #fluff #my fic #thinkin of writing a ~saucy~ companion to this...#also shoutout to clonidine for being the only reason i can sleep regularly ✌

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yoonpobs · 4 years ago

Text

bad boy good thing xvi.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: jk and oc :(

words: 5, 820

summary: a series of drabbles where you’re confused and jungkook’s confusing

a/n:

at the end of the chap!!!

“Babe, you better close your lips,” Yena nudges your shoulders when the two of you approach the football field with treats of your own.

“I’m not … drooling,” you reply lamely, fingers clutching the bag of food and refreshments tightly in your grasp as if it would run away.

“I wasn’t talking about your mouth,” she smirks.

Your head snaps towards her in a flush, ears immediately turning red when she resorts to snickering at your scandalised expression. You thwack her on her shoulder, flustered at the cackles she’s releasing. The food in your hands remains unscathed, purely because you spent a good amount of time preparing it for the boys—knowing that they were entering an important season for their football games.

From where the two of you were walking from, you had a decent view of the football team sprawled across the field, likely resting from one of their many intensive practices. You weren’t concerned with anyone else, and given Jungkook’s flashy hair colour—it was only natural that your eyes immediately fell onto his figure. It also just so happened that Jungkook decided to take his break—shirtless.

You shake your head to snap out of your daydream, fully aware of the way that Yena shoots you a knowing smirk.

“Okay, shut up before you blow my cover,” you hiss.

“You’re telling me that when your face screams I want to lick the sweat of Jungkook’s pectorals—!”

You’re about to drop the food aside, fully ready to attack Yena who looks all too pleased with her teasing, but another voice interjects before you can do any real harm to your friend.

“Is Yena harassing you?”

Yena snaps her head to the source of the voice and immediately narrows her eyes at the smirking figure.

“Oh shut the fuck up, Min,” she snaps.

“Was I talking to you?” He rolls his eyes before turning over to give you a smile, “Hey, ____. Here to feed the dogs?”

You snort, casting a sideways glance to Yena who’s equal parts fuming and red—and you’re definitely sure that it wasn’t because of her apparent anger. The lingering glance that Yoongi rests on her figure with a fond smile tells you enough, and you hide the grin that threatens to appear on your face as you return a kind one to Yoongi.

“Spot on. You’re here to cover their practices?” You make small talk as the three of you make your way towards the football team, most of them too immersed in whatever Namjoon was saying to take note of your approaching figures.

He lets out a deep sigh before nodding, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You wanted coverage for next months paper, didn’t you?” He teasingly accuses.

You duck your head in embarrassment, remembering the meeting you had with the student reporter union and your exact words. You did need an article written on the football team’s practices for publicity purposes, and you briefly remembered Yoongi and Yena bumping heads on multiple occasions on who was to cover it. Clearly, Yoongi won—or more appropriately, Yena surrendered due to his ‘irritating’ personality.

“I did,” you smile apologetically, “Hopefully it isn’t that bad.”

“All he does is complain,” Yena mutters under her breath.

Yoongi raises a brow with an amused smirk on his face.

“I would’ve been complaining less if I had someone accompanying me,” he says pointedly.

You briefly note the flush on Yena’s cheeks before she grumbles something incoherent under her breath, shoving a fist into Yoongi’s arm in retaliation as he snickers at her reaction. You smile to yourself, eyes turning fond when you realise that Yoongi doesn’t back away even as she bites. All he does is let her have her way, patiently sticking by her side while he placates her growls.

You reach the circle where the footballers were gathered as you quietly tiptoed your way towards the bleachers, setting the food down and taking them out so they could dig in right after they were done. You brought enough for the entire team—but you were still worried since they were male athletes who definitely had an appetite for victory and your sandwiches. You hoped it’d suffice.

Just as you’ve settled down, Jimin spots you when his head snaps up, offering you a wide grin along with nudges to Namjoon and Taehyung’s shoulder. The rest of the team follow the direction of his eyes, and you turn red at the sudden attention of all the men on you as you offer a meek wave, avoiding any real eye contact.

“You came!” Jimin hops towards you, immediately dragging you into a hug as he nuzzles his sweaty forehead into your neck.

You grimace and push him away, scrunching your face at the wetness that sticks to your skin at his contact.

“Ew, you stink,” you whine.

He rolls his eyes before he digs through the food, showing his true intentions on why he came over in the first place.

“And you are an angel,” he coos, pinching your cheeks while you smacked his hand away.

“How was practice?” You hum for the sake of conversation while you watch the boy scarf down your sandwiches like a starved man.

He looks up with stuffed cheeks, pausing in his chomps, “Brufal.”

You offer him a sympathetic smile before squeezing his shoulder.

“All in good time, right?”

He swallows, rolling his eyes in response.

“Said every optimist ever. I just want this season to be over so I can go back to pigging out.”

You snort but you don’t deny his statement. You watch him while he continues to munch on his meal. Something was fulfilling about watching him enjoy your preparations, and you were definitely the type to enjoy taking care of your friends. You were usually the friend that provided advice and comforted people whenever they were faced with a particularly difficult time, and you’ve heard on several occasions from both Jimin, Taehyung—and even Jungkook; that you somehow knew what to do, and say, whenever they were faced with a problem.

It’s nice, to see Jimin happy, and you note to visit more during their practices with food.

“You’re too nice, do you know?” A voice interjects.

You look up from Jimin to see Namjoon walking towards you, with Jungkook and Taehyung trailing behind him. You flush ever so slightly because you briefly remember the last time you saw Jungkook and what happened. It’s been busy for the both of you so you weren’t able to see him much on campus either.

“Stop saying that,” you scowl, “And eat up before Jimin shovels everything down this throat.”

You thrust a wrapped sandwich into his chest that he receives with a dimpled grin. Namjoon wraps a loose arm around your shoulder as thanks and you still grimace at the sweat that lingers on your skin—but you realise that it’s an inevitable part of the role you took, so you sigh and accept it.

“Let’s get married if we both don’t by 35,” Taehyung suggests the moment he’s handed a sandwich of his own as you raise a brow at his proposition.

“So I can make you sandwiches?”

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Sounds pretty misogynistic to me,” you snort, “Make your own damn sandwiches.”

“But they’re not the same,” he whines, “It’s your essence that makes it taste so much better!”

You laugh at his desperate explanation and the wiggle of his eyebrows at his insinuation. You’re thankful he doesn’t smother you with his sweat and only grants you a grateful mumble of appreciation before he’s joining his other brain cell on the bleachers, immediately bickering away about whatever topic they decided on for the day.

When Jungkook comes up for his turn, you can’t keep eye contact. Especially when he’s still in his shirtless glory while he looks at you with those eyes of his, paired with his cheeky grin. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you hate him for it.

“Where’s my sandwich?” He asks, propping himself right in front of you, leaving you no space to breathe or to move away from him.

“There,” you point to the bag rather than handing him one like you did with the rest, “Help yourself.”

Jungkook pouts, tilting his head to the side as he chases your expression to search for your eyes. You’re still avoiding his gaze, and you feel like you’re beginning to perspire at the way he’s blatant with his ogling. The two of you were in public, and your friends have sat a few metres away from you with the rest of his football team lingering nearby and somehow the idea of people seeing the two of you so close gives you anxiety.

“You’re not going to give me one?” He asks.

“You have perfectly usable hands,” you gesture, and you immediately regret it because when you turn to look at him—his arms flex under the ministration when he cages you in with his body.

You let out a yelp, head immediately darting to the side to see whether or not anyone else was paying attention. But your friends are still caught in their own conversation, except Yena who somehow has a sixth sense for your embarrassment—and shoots the two of you a sleazy wink before tonguing the inside of her cheek.

Jungkook catches this, and you’re mortified to see the way his eyebrow raises at Yena’s gesture.

“You gossiping about me to your friend?” He teases.

You know exactly what he’s referring to. You scowl in response, sticking your nose up while you glance in the other direction; away from his smirk.

“Gossiping entails that whatever I said was negative. So, do what you want with that information,” you shrug.

Jungkook tuts, shaking his head before he lets out an amused chuckle.

“Always so bratty,” he sighs, “That smart mouth of yours loves to run itself, hm?” The shift to a much huskier tone stuns you into silence because he’s suddenly much closer, more insinuative and daring with the way he leans his face closer to yours until you’re finding it hard to breathe.

“We’re in public, Jeon,” you hiss.

He snickers, “No one cares except for you.”

“I’m not about to give everyone a free show,” you saw pointedly.

Jungkook smirks, “Who said anything about a show? Can’t I just have you close to me without it meaning anything else?”

You freeze. You know Jungkook doesn’t mean it that way, but you suppose it’s the remnants of insecurity that lingers deep in the back of your mind that makes your heart drop ever so slightly. You know how he feels; how his words are meant to be a light jibe towards you. But your collateral mind can only ask, what if?

As if Jungkook’s picked up on the reason for your silence, or perhaps he was just that good at reading you and your body language, he frowns—immediately reaching a hand to your shoulder and squeezing it to get your attention.

“Hey,” he says softly, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

You feel bad that he has to clarify himself when you yourself wanted to have faith in him—you did. It was more so that you lacked that same faith in yourself. To be that someone to Jungkook even when he’s made it clear to you about he felt. But you knew Jungkook to be the type that jumped from one interest to another like he was flipping through a brochure, and you didn’t mean it maliciously either.

Jungkook just liked a lot of things and could do well in a lot of things too once his mind is set. You were just terrified if that’s all you were to him. A phase that he’s got to experience in his life because it was interesting to him now.

“Sorry,” you whisper, eyes darting to your feet, “I … I know. It’s just—I’m just overthinking. It’s dumb.”

He frowns, “If it’s bothering you it’s not dumb.”

You sigh.

“No, it is,” you emphasise, balling your fist by your side as he looks at you attentively. You hate yourself a little more for being so unsure. “I know you didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that my mind just—it just thinks the worst of every situation. I’m sorry.”

Jungkook doesn’t seem to appreciate the way you’re continuously apologising or avoiding his gaze, so he takes it up himself to reach out his hands to tilt your chin upwards so that you’re looking at him. He’s always loved looking at you, whether you were studying, driving, or even just daydreaming—he loved your eyes and he’d spend most of his days just staring at you.

“I want you. I always want you,” he says and it both takes your breath away and makes your heart pound rapidly against your ribcage, “Everything that I do with you means the world to me. You mean the world to me and I don’t want to fuck this up. I fucked up once and I—I don’t want to mess this up either. So please, if you’re bothered—tell me. I want to know. I want to ease any of your worries now because I wasn’t able to do that before.”

Jungkook speaks so softly that you may have missed the sincerity and desperation laced in his tone, the hushed utterance of his truth that only you were meant to hear. He looks at you so tenderly, so authentically that you feel your heart constrict both in want and guilt. The reassuring grasp of one hand on your hip while the other rests under your chin forces you to acknowledge his sincerity—his want, and most importantly; him.

He notices it before you do, and his thumb wipes under your eyes when you feel the first teardrop. Your face morphs into a wide-eyed expression when you quickly swipe under your eyes to erase the evidence of your heart worn on your face. But Jungkook doesn’t allow you to get far, and he uses his strength to stop your wrists—forcing you to peer up at him with red-rimmed and freshly-swollen eyes.

“Don’t hide from me,” he murmurs.

“Jungkook—” you protest, pushing his hands away but it only makes him clutch you tighter.

“Don’t,” he says firmly, “It’s okay. Just cry if you have to.”

Your face crumbles because Jungkook can be both strict but earnest at the same time. It was conflicting for you not because you didn’t know how you felt but because you cared too much about the prying eyes of others. Even now, when Jungkook only looks at you—your mind strays to the people that talk, to the people that stare and wonder. And you hate it.

“We’re in public, Jungkook,” you say softly through a shaky breath.

You put some distance between the two of you by taking a step back, and Jungkook notices. Of course, he does, especially when space he once felt warmth turns cold. He frowns because he would rather hold you close—show the world and everyone that he loved you. But your eyes stray away, darting everywhere but his face.

“I don’t care,” he huffs, “I want you.”

And no matter how many times he says it, the pessimistic side of you nags at your heart to keep it safe. To keep things under wraps so that you could avoid wandering or curious gaze; especially when anyone could see or say anything.

“I know,” you tell him.

Jungkook scoffs and your eyes shoot up when you realise that Jungkook’s annoyed. The tick in his jaw tells you enough, especially when he takes a step back—placing that distance between the two of you. It sucks when you’re on the receiving end of such coldness and you can’t imagine how Jungkook felt when you pushed him away.

“Do you?” He exasperates, “I’m patient. I am. I’ll wait for you; I told you that and I meant it,” he frowns, “But I just want to hold you. I wanted this for the longest of times and I don’t care where we are in this world because that’ll never make me stop wanting you. I want you when we’re apart, I want you when we’re together and I want you now. When will that be enough?”

Jungkook takes your breath away again, but for different reasons. This time, he sounds tired—desperate, almost. He rubs his hands across his face in frustration and you can tell he’s trying his best to level his breathing. You stand there silent, lips pursed as you mull over his words.

“It is enough,” you tell him, eyes peering up on your own; but this time Jungkook isn’t looking at you and it makes your heart clench. His eyebrows are furrowed and the only thing you can catch a glimpse of is the side of his face. “I just … people talk, Jungkook. I know you’re used to that but I’m not. I don’t like it when people are in my business.”

He scoffs, “And now it’s other people that are standing in between us?” Your eyes narrow at him but the clench of his jaw tells you that he’s not stepping down either, “I am, I’m used to people talking about me whether it be good or bad. And I know you don’t like it—I know,” he exasperates, “But when will we just be enough of a reason for you to take that leap of faith?”

“It’s not that easy—”

“Of course it isn’t!” He exclaims, “I’m not saying it is. I know I fucked up and it made things more complicated than they should be but I’m here now and I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to wait for you because I want to prove myself to you. But if all it takes is just people’s words to get in between us then I don’t know if it even matters anymore.”

You recoil at his words, eyes widening when he finally looks down at you. Jungkook doesn’t look angry. He looks tired, and he sounds tired. Your heart hurts because you don’t know how he feels when all this while you were within arms reaches but not quite. You had the reassurance from Jungkook and your friends that he wanted you—but somehow you couldn’t quite believe it. Was it your fault that you felt this way? Why did you feel this way?

“Jungkook …” you reach out to grab his arm, and he doesn’t push you away. But he doesn’t make an effort to hold your hand like he usually would and it made your stomach drop.

“I love you,” he whispers, “I can shout it on rooftops and announce it to the world if that’ll make you believe me. But when will my love be enough?”

“I want you too, Jungkook,” you reply, squeezing his arm tighter.

“Do you?” He sighs, “It’s hard for me too,” he says as his eyes flutter shut, “I can wait. But it hurts. It hurts because if you really wanted me then that’s all that should matter.”

“Wait, Jungkook—” you reach out to him when he pulls away from you and you feel your heart drop when he doesn’t look at you.

Maybe it was an act of desperation, or your mind telling you to not lose a good thing due to your rumination—but you use all the strength you have to tug him back to you because you couldn’t have Jungkook walk away from you. Not now, when your heart tells you to stop being afraid, to stop being stubborn.

“I need—” he begins with a sigh, but your eyebrows are furrowed in determination when you loop your arms around his neck to tug him down to your level.

And you kiss him.

You think it’s the first time that you’ve initiated a kiss, even when the two of you were messing around. It’d always been Jungkook who took the first step, an exception was your last interaction at your apartment. But if you looked harder, even through the hurt, Jungkook reached out first. Granted, it was never in the way that you wanted—but he always took the first leap, for you and the both of you.

When you kiss him, you feel him freeze under your hold, even when you press your lips harder against his. You don’t think about the consequences, you don’t think about your friends who are likely witnessing your first public display of affection with Jungkook, and you definitely don’t think about the way that the rest of his football teammates gawk at the two of you.

It feels scary—but right. And that’s all that should’ve mattered.

When you pull away, you’re breathing heavy, peering your eyes up to Jungkook who’s stunned to silence with a gape in his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt.

You briefly see from the corner of your eye the way that Yena is squeezing Yoongi’s arm who looks as surprised as the boy in front of you. You even see Namjoon, with a hint of a smile on his face even as he looks away. Your heart clenches in guilt, but you’ve spent far too long hurting yourself and Jungkook.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you into this,” Jungkook whispers, brushing a thumb over your cheek.

“You … you didn’t,” you assure him with a small smile before you nibble on your lips. “You’re right. This—us—it should’ve been enough for me.” You tell him as he observes you with gentle eyes, “And it is. It’s always been but I’ve always been afraid and honestly? I still am. I’m terrified because this is new for me and I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“I know,” he murmurs, pulling you closer as your arms still rest loosely around his neck, “I’m scared too. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it.”

You turn a pretty shade of red when you duck your head to avoid his fond gaze. He chuckles when you do so, endeared by your embarrassment even if you were the one that reached out first—to proclaim your affection with your kiss.

But some moments don’t last forever, and they’re not meant to. So when a third party interjects and snaps you out of your little bubble with Jungkook, you freeze.

“You sure she isn’t a two-timer, Jeon?” Jeonghan, who you briefly remember seeing at some of the football games, interjects with a raised brow as he leans on the railings of the bleachers.

You still, immediately loosening your grip around Jungkook’s neck and he realises your hesitancy—sees the fear that erupts just when you found the courage to take that first step.

“What?” You whisper.

Jungkook shoots his teammate a blazing glare that you don’t catch because you’re too busy avoiding his gaze, the attention causing the heat to rise on your cheeks and the sweat to accumulate by your hairline and on your body.

“Dude—it’s not worth it,” he snorts, “What next? She sleeps her way through the entire team?”

Your face drops, and Jungkook finally lets go of you. Your eyes widen because you think for a second that he believes his teammate, that Jeonghan has managed to somehow lure his way into the depths of Jungkook’s mind to plant that seed of doubt within his already muddled mind.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Jungkook asks with a menacing glare.

You’re frozen, but Namjoon is quickly at your side—concern etched on his face after Yena noticed the tension arising from your corner. Jimin and Taehyung are right behind him, observing the situation as they see Jungkook’s chest heaving when he stares his teammate down.

“I’m just saying,” Jeonghan shrugs, shooting you a knowing glance, “Wasn’t she fucking captain?”

“Jeonghan,” Namjoon intervenes, voice stern.

“What?” He raises his hand in defence, “Weren’t you about to ask her out?”

You hate this. You hate the attention and hate how he speaks about you as if you weren’t standing there—mortified. You especially hate the way that the rest of the team filters where the tension begins to escalate. They’re curious, for sure—at how their captain and their best player is suddenly caught in this dilemma with Jeonghan as the instigator.

“That has nothing to do with you,” Namjoon narrows his eyes at him in response.

Jeonghan snorts, “Um. It kind of does. You bailed on us for her,” Jeonghan states pointedly, “And now she’s locking lips with the golden boy here. She played you, man.”

Before Namjoon can respond, Jungkook takes a threatening step towards Jeonghan as he basically towers over him. Your hair stands on your arms as you can more or less tell where this is going, especially with the way that Jungkook’s fists clench by his sides.

“Jungkook—” you squeak, hands reaching out to rest on his shoulder.

You snap out of it, purely because you know that Jungkook’s pissed. His ears are red and his jaw is clenched, and you don’t want to know what’ll happen if you remained stagnant any longer.

“Stay out of this,” he snaps.

You blink, and even Namjoon looks taken aback. Jimin has concern written all over his features as he steps forward, likely attempting to mitigate the situation.

“Jungkook, don’t be stupid,” Jimin berates.

Jungkook turns around and all you see behind his usual doe-eyed gaze is now a fire that burns and is threatening to blaze anything in its way. And right now, Jungkook’s glaring at Jimin like he’s a rock in his journey.

“You’re going to let him say that shit about her?” Jungkook snaps.

“What’s fighting him going to do?” Jimin exasperates, eyebrows furrowed, “Don’t dig yourself a deeper hole and calm the fuck down. We have a game in two weeks and starting something now won’t do any of us good.” He raises his voice towards the end as he glares at every single person who has so happened to crowd around the lot of you to see what was happening, “Did you not hear what I said? Mind your own fucking business!”

The rest of the team murmurs amongst themselves, not before shooting you a disparaging glance that makes you feel uneasy. You look away because that’s the best you could do, fingers resting limply by your sides while you shift behind Jimin as if he was able to protect you from the wandering stares.

It was your exact fear, and somehow fate seems to hate you with the way your dream-like state with Jungkook is immediately ruined with your fears being proven.

Taehyung and Yena are by your side, looking at you with worry as you avoid their gaze. Your mind is louder, though you catch the lecture that Jungkook’s getting from Jimin for almost fighting Jeonghan. Even if nothing happened—the indents of Jungkook’s fingernails on his palm proves enough of what could happen if it weren’t for Jimin, or Namjoon, intervening.

“God, he’s such a fucking asshole,” Yena grumbles, pulling you to her side as she rubs your shoulder soothingly.

You say nothing, and you briefly see Yoongi walking over; offering you an apologetic glance that you mildly acknowledge.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks softly.

You sigh, fiddling with your fingers as you look over your shoulders to see Jungkook already staring at you.

“I want to be,” you reply, “But I fucked things up.”

Yena frowns, “Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true,” you exasperate, “If I hadn’t led Namjoon on or—if I just didn’t … if I just didn’t feel the way I did for Jungkook then—”

“And then what?” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of your rambling as you turn around to see him furrowing his brows at you.

“Jungkook—” you reach out to him, again. He only flinches in response.

“If you didn’t feel the way you did for me and then what?” He whispers voice frustrated, “Then you’d get to protect yourself?”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says sternly, eyes warning.

He pays him no mind, however, as you continue to blink up at him.

“That’s not what I meant,” you defend.

“What do you mean, then?” Jungkook snaps, “Because five minutes ago we had this exact same conversation—and then you kissed me—and now it’s like we’re back to square one. So what do you actually mean because I can’t keep trying to come up with my own answers!”

“That’s what I mean, Jungkook!” you frown, gesturing your arms wildly towards the team who’s all grouped together a good distance from where you were, “That. People talking. God, I want you too but I can’t live with the constant hypotheticals of people wondering how the fuck you could ever be with someone that apparently slept with your captain.”

“I don’t care about what people say!” He says vehemently, stepping closer to you.

The rest of your friends observe silently as they all exchange looks, shifting away to give you some privacy. You were so confused, and tired—and you didn’t even care if you were in public anymore and that people could see the argument brewing between you and Jungkook.

“I know you don’t,” you snap, “But not everything is about how you feel, Jungkook. You can live your life because everyone’s going to be pointing figures at me. Not you. It’s because it’s my name that’s being thrown around like I’m some—like I’m some whore who can’t keep her legs closed and—”

“Don’t fucking say that,” Jungkook snarls.

“—it’s what people are saying!” You cry, “Jungkook. Just a month ago you were with Jennie and I was somehow with Namjoon. What … what will people think?”

“So that’s what you’re afraid of?” He laughs dryly.

“What—?”

“You’re afraid because of what other people may think?” He repeats your words back to you, standing closer as you shift back, eyes avoiding his heavy gaze.

“I’m scared of a lot of things, Jungkook,” you say softly.

“I want to be there for you,” he tells you, voice softer than the previous harsh tone he took, “Me risking my position on this team just now? Yeah, that’s what I would do to protect you. I know people will talk and I know it sucks because your name is thrown in the loop—but you have me. You have Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung and Yena. We all would do anything to protect you so why are you still so afraid?”

Jungkook’s beginning to sound more desperate, especially with the way he’s somehow clutching on your elbows as if you’d slip away.

“I”—what were you afraid of? You seemed to have all the answers earlier, and even after Jungkook’s pleas, you find yourself hesitating. The anxiety of people looking at the two of you and wondering how the hell could it work—or whether or not you were set on breaking Jungkook’s heart; and vice versa. You remember the names of people who’s ever questioned your friendship and if there was something more. You remember Sana, harmlessly saying that it seemed impossible for the two of you to be together.

The entire time, fear plagues your mind, and you can’t give Jungkook an answer because it’s more than just people. It was you. It was you being terrified that you weren’t enough and that he’d see how imperfect you were compared to the girl he thinks he loves. You weren’t the smart, independent girl that participated in every club on campus. You were … small. You were fragile and weak, and insecure.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he says defeatedly, resting his forehead on the crown of your head.

Your heart drops.

“Please don’t say that,” you croak.

You feel the lump in your throat grow, and when you look up—you see a pained expression painting Jungkook’s face.

“I don’t want to say that,” he whispers right before he reaches up to clutch your face in his hands, “But I think I need to.”

“You don’t!” You cry, your own arms reaching out to clutch at the collar of the fresh shirt he’s managed to throw on.

“This doesn’t change the fact that I love you,” he reminds you gently.

You hate that you’re crying. The hot, wet tears that flow down your cheeks is a reminder of your vulnerability. Of how much control Jungkook has over your feelings.

“Why does it sound like you’re breaking up with me,” you cry.

He smiles, soft and half-hearted as he pulls you into a hug.

“We aren’t together,” he reminds you. Your heart clenches because you could’ve been.

“I …” you want to say that you could be. You want to tell him that you want him. And you do. But your mouth doesn’t move when all you can hear is sobs escaping you.

“Think about it, okay?” He murmurs, brushing your hair out of your face so that you wouldn’t end up crying all over the strands of hair uncomfortably, “If you … if you’re still afraid. That’s okay. We can be friends, and I can pretend like this never happened. I’ll always respect your decision.”

“But …”

He shushes you gently, wiping at your tears.

“I told you. I’ll wait for you—but I can only do that if you want me to,” he says sadly, “I love you. I do. I spent the past seven years of my life loving you, but I need to know if you feel the same.”

“I do!” You immediately respond, eyes wide.

He shakes his head with a small laugh, “You may love me. But love isn’t always enough.”

His words are heartbreaking, and you feel yourself crumble all over again. But your mind isn’t clear and you’re overwhelmed with emotion. Jungkook’s still looking at you gently like he always had. But it seems different.

“Let me take you home first, yeah?” He whispers.

You stop his movements when he reaches out to pick at your belongings as you grab a hold of his hand.

He turns to look at you with a raised brow and you notice how tired and sunken his eyes look. Your heart clenches for the millionth time and you just want to—

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s funny that you’re the one asking that question. When weeks ago it was him in that same position. You realise how vulnerable Jungkook must’ve felt when he posed you with the same question because you feel the exact same. You feel like your heart is on the floor, exposed to everyone as they examine the ins and outs of your feelings.

Jungkook looks at you softly, before pulling you to his chest and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

And like always, Jungkook can’t say no to you.

a/n:

hi babes!!!! new chapter is up and oc and jk are :-(

im sorry for the angst!!!!! but things aren't always great between the two 🥺

i hope you enjoyed this chapter even tho yall may be cursing at me rn 🤣 but i do hope that you see oc's internal struggles with accepting everything and pursuing a potential relationship w jk despite her 'obvious' feelings towards him

as always, let me know what you think in my asks!!! love you all - and have a lovely day ahead of you ❤️

#bad boy good thing #bbgt #bts #bts fics #bts series #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook series

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cornyonmains · 3 years ago

Note

hello!

firstly, i will like to thank you for writing all your metas and thoughts regarding kinnporsche, they are amazing.

however, i wanted to ask you. what's the current issue with daemi and the KP series/actors/team? i have read two-three articles about it but it's very confusing. if you can, please explain it?

thank you!

Hey,

This is my first ask, so thanks for sending it. lol

Anyways, I want to preface all this by stating I work on the backend of a lot of major discussion forums, and what I think is happening in general is that BOC just scared the shit out of a lot of studios, and that those studios are digging up a lot of old scandals now that KP has gotten international attention, and they're trying to hurt BOC. These videos are all related to scandals that resulted with BOC cutting employment Thais with Daemi months back.

Now, the videos I found had dialogue that had been translated from Thai to Spanish and I'm translating that dialogue to English, so please, please keep that in mind when I relate what I saw. I use Spanish markets a lot for Asian media, since they have a more nimble translating market than the US, but things get lost in translation. Thai has few or no verb tenses, Spanish has 77,000, transitive verbs don't often have a direct translation in English, and you preserve the idea instead. It's a whole thing.

So, a few videos dropped. In one, which I think the fandom has seen before, Mile states quite openly that DAEMI are creepers that won't stop molesting him. He's very smiley and laughing as he says it, so it comes off in a joking manner, which you hear DAEMI laughing about in the background of the interview, but Mile goes out of his way to reiterate that he's serious. It's also worth noting that the concept of 'face' is very important in Asian cultures. Mile was trying to save them face but making it clear they needed to read between the lines. He was being classy about it. Little wonder those hoes didn't notice.

There's another video that stood out to me where neither author was doing anything wrong, but when Yok sat down beside Barcode in this video, he was stiff and uncomfortable enough that you see Jeff come back into frame and demand his seat back. This is pretty telling for me. Jeff and Mile are a bit better protected from the dark side of the Thai BL industry due to their money, Jeff's status as an openly queer actor (I think? unless I'm misinterpreting stuff I've seen around the fandom), and their connections. I think it says a lot about the sharp eyes they keep when those two are around.

There's another video where the female author (can't remember her name) is trying to get Bible to call her Mommy. And like, I don't know if this woman has a problem with social cues, or if she's just too much of a predatory weirdo to care, but that man was not the least bit amused by the exchange. He tells her no. She asks why he won't. And he was very patiently explains that he only has one mother, and it's not her. He tries to get up and move away, she stops him.

In another video Apo does a bit of fan-service for the camera by opening his shirt and closing it quickly. The female author gets up, and very aggressively crowds him into the wall, trying to strip Apo, while he yells something like , "No! No! Quit doing this! Get back the old (her name)."

In another video, it shows DAEMI standing outside the pool waiting for Mile after he wrapped the pool scene with Apo. They didn't do anything wrong, but people didn't miss that the first thing this man did when he saw those two was cover his tiddies with his robe sleeve. Lmao

In another video, and this is the one that creeped me out, especially as a geriatric Millennial. The authors were doing a live with Jeff and Barcode, when they declared they taught Barcode, who was SIXTEEN at the time, to be a good actor by making them give him massages. There is no normal adult who is talking that kind of mess to a 16 year old child. It's just not happening. Anyone will tell you, once you hit a certain age, anyone below 25 just becomes baby. Your metric for what an adult is changes. I know it's infantilizing BS, but it's just the truth. Normal adults just don't interact that way with teenagers. Like, if I had Barcode in a room with me, I'd ask him if there was an adult he could call, and then probably feed him or something. I'd have like, parent instincts. I don't think DAEMI would, and that's more than a little concerning.

Anyways, that's all I know about the situation. But as I said, Twitter is its own ecosystem, and its trying to capitalize on a problem that has already been resolved. What we mostly have here is jealous BL studios capitalizing on disingenuous clout sharks and bot farms to try to knock BOC off the iron throne without having to present any real competition. I'm not paying it much mind. I was a baby gay who grew up during the AIDS crisis. My pragmatism is very real. I can deal with a few scandals if it means the BL industry has to up its game to compete.

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damselofblueroses · 3 years ago

Text

Bambi, Ch. 2, Ghost

You are my Bambi, girl, I am your candy, tell me what are you waiting for?

Summary: As an archaeologist who works on the Ancient Greece, you were on the verge of excavations’ session. While you have been preparing your team, you learned that your institute decided on your team has to work with another team as they wanted the outcome as a collaboration. The head of other team was your biggest rival, a scumbag in your eyes: Byun Baekhyun.

You two were supposed to work together for three months, in a Greek Island, Chios.

Could you manage to not kill Byun Baekhyun for three months?

Chapter Summary: Byun Baekhyun and the Reader remember the day they spent in UN Village together while they are heading to Chios. (Guys, this chapter, which is dedicated to the beginning of their relationship, is going to be two parts, otherwise it is going to be more than 20k lol)

Word Count: 11k

Content: AU, heavily Greek mythology, enemies to lovers.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story will be 7 or 8 chapters if I will not change my mind in the meantime. It is inspired by my major; however, I do not have a complete knowledge on archaeology, I am a historian. If I will make a technical mistake, please let me know. I am willing to receive any kind of feedback; you are more than welcomed to drop a message.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2: Ghost

5 years ago, Hannam-dong

Even if I want you so much it drives me crazy

You ghost

Even if I want and call for you all night long

You came to me and left without a word

You ghost, you ghost

You want to go crazy all night, you plead

You ghost

You disappeared again without a trace

“What type of sadistic and sick person could say that we have to work here?” you cursed between your teeth, you jaw clenched because of pure anger. “How do they expect us to do our job in the middle of fucking super-ultra-rich people?”

“Get used to it.” Junmyeon flinched your forehead, but his frustration was oblivious, even though he was doing definitely better than you. “Where is Baekhyun?”

“I do not know.” you recklessly pointed to the expensive cars on the road. “Maybe he was looking for a sugar mommy.”

“As your sunbae,” Minseok hit you. “I would like to remind you to hold on your manners.”

“Someone has to give a speech on manners to him.” your eyebrows knitted together. “Not to me.”

“Both of you,” Kyungsoo nonchalantly spoke. “need a really good beaten session, since both of you have no idea on how to behave.”

You threw the book you were holding to Kyungsoo, but he was too quick and easily saved himself from your unexpected attack.

“I am here, right?” you hissed. “Where the heck is that bastard? He always disappears when it comes to work, why do you hold me in the same esteem with him?”

“Because you are definitely a copy of Baekhyun.” Chanyeol laughed at your god-fucking-damn-it-so-horrible face expression. “Let’s face with the fact, Indy. Everyone knows that Baekhyun is a disciplined student, just as you are, badmouthed, just as you are.”

“Are you talking about me?” Baekhyun popped out of nowhere. “I heard you are praising me less than the way I deserve.”

Your face could be described as disgusted, but this would be the kindest way of telling how your appearance was. Actually, you wanted to punch his narcissistic self-perspective, to shake his cage in order to give him the lesson he deserved, but you did not want to be scolded by Junmyeon again. You just walked away from him, needing to put a safe distance between yourself and Baekhyun.

God, if you could run away to space, you would do it in order to not infuse with the same air with Baekhyun.

You disliked him, you disliked the way of his well-being, you disliked his velvety voice, his lame jokes, his sharp remarks, you disliked everything about Byun Baekhyun.

And you hated yourself because of finding him very handsome. Sometimes, you caught yourself, staring at Baekhyun, forgetting how to breath properly. His face was like a gift of God himself; his body ratio made you to say oh-my-fucking-god.

Thank God, he had the most annoying character, because if he had a good personality, you knew that you would fall in love over the heels with him.

“What kind of idiot chained us here?” Baekhyun asked to Junmyeon. “Fuck’s sake, what the heck we are going to here? Digging beneath the Richie riches’ villas?”

Chanyeol bite his lips before looking at you, silently reminding your own words and his remarks about being very same with Baekhyun. You did not back off, staring at Chanyeol with all frustration went through your veins, causing Chanyeol to laugh. Baekhyun hit his head, then walked towards Junmyeon to take his own tool bag.

You hated him for this, too. He was acting like he was a superior, like he was better than any of you, and what got your nerves badly was no one scold him as they would scold you if you would do the same things.

“Yeah, I am like this scumbag who does not carry even his own stuff, huh?” you literally sizzled between your teeth, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo heard your annoyed voice, but they preferred to keep their silence. Your hate was not a secret for the team, everyone was aware of the fact that putting you and Baekhyun was a dangerous decision since he also loathed you.

But to your dismays, you were the brightest students Sejong could always play on.

“Seriously what we are going to do?” Baekhyun repeated his question because he really did not have a single clue.

“Didn’t you read the mail Sejong sent us?” Jongdae asked him, raising one eyebrow. Baekhyun shrugged his shoulder, you bit your lower lip in order keep your frustration under your control. What a bastard!

“We have to visit UN Village, there are seven neighbourhood where we have to go and collect the permissions of the residents.” Junmyeon run his hand through his hair. He was already on the verge of cracking since he was the one who had to deal with a lot of capricious upper-class members in order to complete this fucking task. He wished nothing but changing his path, he started to think like the field was not his cup of tea, but before resigning from leadership, he wanted to find a good candidate who could lead the team.

He wanted you to be that leader. You and Baekhyun. Heretofore, Junmyeon laid his eyes on both of you and your abilities persuaded him to nominate your names when he could propose an election. He did not want to be a fieldperson, he wished to stay in his office, but at the same time, he could not inherit his legacy, Godfuckingdamnit Junmyeon’s did his best in order to engrave his name as one of the most successful captains, to anyone but the best. Yet, Junmyeon had no idea how to put you in good terms, since you were like a cat and dog, and Chanyeol, that giant idiot, used every opportunity to fan the flames, even that silent Kyungsoo enjoyed watching intangible scuffles between you and Baekhyun.

Junmyeon has been sensing that the team was becoming aware of the situation and camping as two different poles. Jongdae, Shinhye and Minseok were setting off closer to you while Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and the newbie, Jongin have been shifting to Baekhyun’s side. Damn, Junmyeon could not let it to be happen. He needed all of you under the same umbrella, especially you and Baekhyun had to stay together. He was seeing a great potential of you, if you could combine your powers, you were going to be the perfect team. Period.

“Let’s split into teams.” his eyes wandered around all of you. “We are eight, if we can divide ourselves into four teams, we will finish the job easier and quicker.”

“Yeah, you are right.” Kyungsoo approved. “I am going to take Chanyeol.”

“Are you my superior, dumbass?” Chanyeol hit his shoulder, but he was laughing. “I am with Kyungsoo.”

“Good.” Junmyeon inhaled. “Shinhye, you are with Jongdae.”

You automatically stirred next to Minseok, however you shuttered after hearing Junmyeon’s next orders.

“Indy, you and Baekhyun are together, Minseok, let’s go.”

“What?!” you immediately stopped and hissed at Junmyeon. “Am I with who?”

Jongdae realized the storm before seeing the clouds, clever as always, he disappeared while dragging Shinhye with him. You even did not notice, but Chanyeol’s smile widened, Kyungsoo smirked, and they rushed to their own direction.

Only four of you were standing on the pavement, you were throwing daggers to Junmyeon with your eyes. Baekhyun was nonchalantly looking at Junmyeon, while Minseok could not find a way to break the tension.

Junmyeon was cool as a cucumber.

“You are with Baekhyun.” he repeated his words, sounding like he was condemning you with execution. “What? Do you have a rejection?”

“Yes!” you exploded without thinking. “Why shou-

“Believe me,” Baekhyun interrupted your words, he was indifferent to your frustration. “I did not beg for being in the same team with you.”

“Did I claim that?” you swiftly turned on your tiptoes. “Did I say you are eager to be with me?”

“It would be the greatest joke you could make.” Baekhyun winked to you. “But you are not so into the entertainment, right?”

“Baekhyun,” Minseok noisily cleared his throat. “I am not sur-

“What do you know about me?” you heard your own voice. “This is why we cannot work together, you always make assumptions out of your ass, instead I work as organized, with the facts and tangible proofs.”

“What do you know about me?” Baekhyun coldly smiled at you, you could not describe its impacts on you, that smile had you wanting to punch him at the same time ignited some fires in your lower stomach. “We barely talk, have you been watching me all the time?”

“You wish.” you took a deep breath. “You are not worth my time.”

“Oh,” his eyes glimmered with a menacing luminescence. “I am deeply wounded.”

“If you are done,” Junmyeon raised his hands to the air. “We have to work.”

“Jun-

“Young lady,” Baekhyun barged on. “They did not teach you this, so it’s up to me but we are not in kindergarten anymore.”

You had to admit, no one could get your nerves till now like Baekhyun did.

You had to admit, you hated being called as a kid. Junmyeon’s eyes blown up when Baekhyun labelled you as a kid, before he could open his mouth, you stared at Baekhyun.

“I can see why we could be a team.” you took the directional instructions from Junmyeon’s hand. “A kindergarten kid has to take care of a cry baby while the adults have to work.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed, but you wholly ignored his visible annoyance, and started to walk. Junmyeon was looking at your back with a little bit concerned face, but he knew that he did what he had to do.

You were going to scold Junmyeon in the following hours of the day, however, now your job was teaching a couple of lessons on manners to this scumbag who has been walking beside you.

You spent the first hour in a total silence, talking only if the occasion called for it. The tension between you and Baekhyun was solid, someone could cut it with a knife without any problem. Baekhyun was bored to death, he never plan to have a day like this, he wanted to enjoy everything he did, he thought he could be with Chanyeol or Kyungsoo, having fun to death.

Instead, he was trapped with you.

The only girl he loathed to the bits.

He could not endure to hear your voice, even though you talked with the residents very kindly and respectfully. He had to admit that you were doing a good job, but it did not change anything he felt for you. He had been cursing Junmyeon since he put you two in the same task, however, he knew that if Junmyeon wanted something from Baekhyun, he would do it without question. Baekhyun could be many things, but he was loyal to his friends, and Junmyeon had a special place in his heart.

Also, behind the curtains of his hate, he could see why Junmyeon gave you to him. Although you were an abominable bitch, an obnoxious creature, a walking blasphemy, and a hate crime, Baekhyun did not think you could be an offspring of a lovely or healthy relationship, he was sure your parents were diabolical beasts, to his disappointment, you were reallyclever.

He wished you could be more reliable person, so he could work with you.

Baekhyun did not like to confess, yet he was aware of the fact that he desperately needed his own Evelyn O’Connor. Someone who could play the game with him, as his trustable partner in crime. He was extremely close to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, but they were not equal to his wits and ambitions. Sometimes he was brassed off the conversations, time to time he found them boring and lame. His logic was faster than his mates, actually he was longing for nothing, but someone was equal to his high-speed brain.

You could be the one he was searching for, but you were made of poison, greed, and wickedness. Even if he would be blessed by the Heavens, he could not agree to work someone with you.

“Your Highness,” he heard your fucking voice. “We have to visit at least twelve houses more; do you mind hurrying up?”

“The only thing I mind is your fucking attitude.” he gritted his teeth. “Give the plan to me.”

“So, you can destroy everything I organized properly?” you smirked. “I do not think so.”

“Organized?” Baekhyun cocked his eyebrow. “Organized, my ass. Didn’t you lose Park Sangwan’s house? Twice?”

“Look who is talking.” the red of embarrassment slightly painted your cheeks and ears. “The one who had no idea about today’s plans.”

“At least I did not lose my fucking way and circled around the same house almost for half an hour.”

“And the award goes to Byun Baekhyun for his greatest achievements.” you gave back the wink to him, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Oh, breaking news. No achievement no award.”

Baekhyun took it personally since you two competed to each other as the finalists of last academic year. Your project was accepted as the winner while Baekhyun received only a certificate. You hit the lotto, he had to watch you, walking to the stage with a bright smile tugged on your lips.

Still, he could vividly remember the little smirk you gave to him that night when they announced your name.

“You did it consciously.” his jaw clenched. “That night. When they called you as the winner. You immediately turned to me just to annoy me.”

“It seems, I achieve my goal.” your smirk widened, a glistening layer of fun covered your face. “Were you disappointed?”

“Yeah, of course.” he did not miss a single second. “I was disappointed of the professors, I was believing they were cleverer than me, but their choice showed me they were nothing but idiots.”

“Could you smell the air, Baekhyun?” you asked with a serious face. He was confused for a second, you never ask a question to him or call him by his name, but before he could register, you tucked the words in his throat. “Oh, jealousy, my favourite.”

“Darling,” Baekhyun swallowed hard. “There is no single living soul who can be low enough to jealous you in this universe.”

That was not quite truth, because Baekhyun not only remembered your revengeful smile but also how you were looking like that day. He could paint you on canvas by closed eyes, and he would not miss a single detail.

And he was a little bit jealous on that day. Not only because he lost over to you, but also because of the people around you. You annoyed him not only with your award, but also with your closeness to the other men.

Despite of your usual oversize clothes or no makeup policy, you chose to present yourself in a different style. Your hair was perfectly combed, your makeup highlighted your face features, and you were wearing a little light blue dress which tightly caressed your body. Baekhyun, or none of your classmates knew that you had curves for example till that night and to Baekhyun’s dismay, you had a really good body. You were a minion, your beauty was very soft and although he really hated to admit this, you were a view for the spectators. Maybe not the prettiest, but you had something had people looking at you, liking you, desiring you.

You had an aura which was enough to make your biggest enemy to silently acknowledged that you were attractive.

“Maybe, there is no one.” you shrugged your shoulder. “But youwere eager to low yourself, huh?”

You did not forget the look on Baekhyun’s face when Professor Kim called you to the stage. You were sure as fuck, he was cursing you but also there was something else, glowing in his eyes. Something you could not describe, but you could see the same emotion in your reflection when you saw Baekhyun with that crowd of girls.

Rarely.

But still you knew that feeling.

That ceremony was hard for you, of course you were over the moon because of your achievement, that project opened you some fresh opportunities and proved that despite of being a junior, you were more than a bachelor student. You proved your talents and abilities to yourself by winning the first place, you completed a step, made your first goal come true.

And you nailed Byun Baekhyun’s coffin. It was worth of every minute you spent sleepless, your tears and sweats, the hours in library, the hours in front of the plan of Gyeongbokgung Palace and search for the most logical and safest ways of conducting an excavation around the palace.

Your ideas were chosen over Baekhyun’s ideas, and you were aware of the quality of the solutions he proposed.

You were proud of yourself.

It was the bare truth that Baekhyun’s face were singing to you just as your favourite band could sing, seeing his face just like someone fed him with cucumbers was equal to being accepted into your dream field, Chios’ excavations, as the chief archaeologist.

But you were annoyed.

You could not happily taste your success. You could not feel its flavour on your tongue buds.

Because of that bastard looked fucking magnificent in that bloody black suit.

You have been told about the dress code you had to follow, however no one, not a single soul managed to catch his level of looking good in a suit.

You were annoyed because your taste in men was exactly equal to Byun Baekhyun. He had everything you could ask for, he was devilishly charming, there was even no need for words to describe him, he was beautiful.

And he was the only one you hated the most.

Every girl in the room was drooling over him, to your dismay, just like you. You felt that feeling in your stomach, a pain which was spinning, spinning, and spinning, causing a tornado inside of your stomach.

Was it jealousy?

“I already noticed your ignorance about the feelings.” Baekhyun could not control himself anymore and grabbed your shoulder, turning you to the opposite direction. “We have to follow this fucking street, or we will be lost again.”

“Have you been observing me, Baekhyunnie? That’s so cute.” you ignored the second part of his words, just starting to walk on the direction he instructed to you.

“Observing you takes a minute, baby girl, since there is nothing to see.” he answered but he found it interesting when you called him as Baekhyunnie. “You are a spoiled brat.”

“Hop, that hurts.” you pouted, pressed your fist on your chest, faking a whimper. “Would you like to tame this spoiled brat?”

You started to think that you went nuts.

“In your dreams.” Baekhyun laughed, but he literally lost himself in the fucking possibilities you could be tamed by him. “You have to wait a couple of centuries for someone who can be willing to be with you.”

You chuckled but preferred to keep your silence after his words. Damn, your sudden quietude caught Baekhyun’s attention more. Why didn’t you not attack to him? Why didn’t you give him a sharp answer as you should have?

Why you chuckled like there was a line at your door?

Was it?

Baekhyun pondered that instead of the fact that you were generally with a small group of friends, to both of your dismays your common friends, he did not see you with strangers, so there could not a queue for your hand.

Could it be?

And why the fuck he should have care if there is a crowd for you or not? No one could want someone like you if they did not lose their mind.

But he cared. Fuck, he cared more than he wanted.

Because to his disappointment, he knew that there was a real cavalcade of knightly candidates for you.

“Okey,” you checked the time. “After this one, I am going to have lunch.”

“We are going to have lunch.” Baekhyun gritted his teeth. “I hate eating alone enough to endure your presence.”

“Didn’t you tell me there is no one who could want to be with me?” you snickered. “But you have no reservations about having lunch with me?”

“Imagine the situation I am in.” he grumbled. “The day gets better and better.”

You decided to annoy him, pushing him to the edges as much as you could do. The first response that came to your mind refusing him, but the other option was funnier. You could play with Byun Baekhyun, you could take your revenge by being a pain in the ass.

He said that he could endure your presence.

You could make him regretful of his words.

There was a very little smile tugged on your lips which you were not aware of, however, to his dismay, Baekhyun realized it.

Her lips are rosy and plump, he thought to himself. Even though he called you a spoiled brat, he was not sure of if you were a brat or not. Kiddos have not the type of lips, calling people for the kisses, like you. There was something, even during your cocky performances when you tried to beat the life out of him, although you always kept that dull and bored expression and acted like Baekhyun was not worth of your time, but there was something just in you.

Baekhyun swallowed down his own vomit when he admitted it to himself, and you have caught his glare.

“What?” you purred. “Can’t you take your eyes off me?”

“Who the hell wants to watch you?” he quickly collected his thoughts and put them in a fucking trail. “I am looking for a restaurant where we can have good food.”

After a permanent mutual ignorance session for years, his next words caught you off your guard.

“You like local foods, right?” he asked. “I guess the second shop on this street is famous for jjangmyeon and tteokbokki.”

Well, you had to admit that his questions made your brain a little bit foggy. How could he know that?

“Yeah.” for the first time in history, you did not come up with any sharp answer. “How about you?”

“As long as there is no cucumber or extremely sweet cuisine,” he started to walk. “I am fine.”

You heard that Baekhyun is really not in good terms with cucumber.

“Feel you.” you murmured in your mouth because you hated cucumbers as much as you hated Baekhyun. He swiftly look at you, you accompanied him on the street.

“We should celebrate.” he teased. “I said something, you just answered, and we did not have a fight.”

“This is a privilege for cucumbers.” you shrugged your shoulder, but you also felt that he did not buy your nonchalant tone. “I cannot stand them, mum loves it too much, I mean what type of person can love a cucumber? If I need water, I prefer to drink it.”

Your observation made him tilted his head back in that rumbling laugh of his, you were unwilling to join, but the corners of your mouth turned up slightly.

“Here we go.” He, as a gentleman, opened the door for you, you responded with the most neutral expression you could muster. “Oh, no thanks?”

“Thank you.” you rolled your eyes, however, despite of your strongly negative feelings against him, you do not like rudeness. “Sorry, that was insolence of me.”

“Your apology is fully accepted.” he winked, you hated that cocky tone, you hated yourself for falling into his trap. You passed him, went to a distanced table where it placed in the corner. You did not want to be seen as having a lunch with Baekhyun by your teammates.

Corner was fine.

“Oh, no.” he grabbed your arm, manhandled you to the tables of the center. “I will not let you escape. If they see us, let them to see.”

Your eyebrows knitted, your lips pressed to each other enough to form a thick line on your face, you could almost taste your growing anger. But at the same time, you realized that feeling his hand on your skin increased your heartbeats, you wanted to scream with self-hatred, but you bite down on your tongue as his hand quickly wandered to down, to your waist. He directed you to the most visible table from outside while you were fighting yourself in order to control your fucking pace of breathing.

Please, this could not be true, I could not be excited because of his touch, you thought.

This was not happening, what the fuck was happening?

Baekhyun was not so different from you, even though his face expression was not changed for a bit. He forced himself to take control, but it was really hard for him.

Your hate was reciprocated, right? You guys could not spend even a bloody minute in peace, the only thing you had was annoyance.

So, why you perfectly fit in his embrace just like you were made just to be under his arm?

Why Baekhyun wanted to tight his arm around your waist?

Why could you not say anything even though Baekhyun was literally holding you?

Why you felt like you were in the only place where you had to be for the rest of your days?

“Hi.” you heard the waitress who was a really beautiful girl. “Welcome to Sung’s String. How can I help you?”

Even though finishing her sentence, she begun to eye Baekhyun. You rolled your eyes and reached to the menu; to be honest, this show was not funny after seeing it for the million times. Every time, Sejong Team went outside for a drink, for a gathering or even for a museum trip, girls and sometimes boys gazing the members of Sejong Team just like they were idols or actors because of their good-looking. Eh, they were not wrong, you had to say that the Sejong Team included really, really, and really handsome boys from Baekhyun to Chanyeol, from Kyungsoo to Jongdae and these boys’ superiors were Kim oh-my-godJunmyeon and Kim lord-help-us Minseok.

Well…

You were already got used to the reactions coming from all around when Sejong Team showed their faces. You knew that both of insiders and outsiders of Sejong Institute called your team members as the Flower Boys or a shitty nickname like that.

“I would like to have a jjangmyeon without cucumbers, and a tteokbokki.” you turned the menu off. “With a light coke.”

“Coke?” Baekhyun mimicked you like he could not believe his ears. “Are you kidding? Everyone knows that you have to drink jasmine tea in order to help digestion.”

“Have you been majored in nutrition?” you gave him your bitchy resting face. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No coke.” he wholly ignored you and turned to the waitress who was watching him as drooling. “Please, we want two bowls of jjangmyeon, two tteokbokki, also please we would like to have kimbap and kimchi as the garnitures and of course a pot of jasmine tea.”

“Yeah!” she sounded weaker after Baekhyun conducted all power he had in his eyes to her. “Anything else?”

“I guess we are fine for the time being.” Baekhyun smiled to her, causing a flush of redness on her cheeks.

“I will be back as soon as possible.” the girl literally purred, Baekhyun’s eyes shined after her reaction. Little bastard. You did not want to think about it, but his visible joy had your stomach churned. You inhaled and took your book out of your bag.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun glanced up at you, reached to take the book from your hands. “Having lunch together means conversation, are you going to read?”

“Give the book to me, Byun.” you kicked his foot under the table. “I know you do not know how to read and enjoy but that’s a good habit to have.”

“Yeah, I know that habit of you gives nothing but lonely hours in library.” he had no limits of shooting his arrows. “Have you ever tried something different for a change?”

“Like what?” you tried to get back your book. “Following your great example and dedicate my life to your favourite sport? Sorry, I have no interest in running after women by lolling my tongue out of my mouth.”

“Baby girl,” Baekhyun put your book in his leather bag. “You have no idea whose tongue lolls out of the mouth.”

You could not decide on what you hated the most. Baekhyun or the girls after Baekhyun? You concluded as both of them were equally horrible in your eyes.

“I am sure your stories are incredible.” you inhaled. “But I really do not like to hear the anecdotes of miserable women. Could you give the book back before I gauge your eyes off?”

“Nope.” he grinned. “I can bet on you are still a virgin but tell me if you have an affair or not, I would like to pay my condolences to your partner.”

He was already written as the first name in your list of most-hated-people, but suddenly became the first man to be written as the first enemy of a lifetime.

“Did you finish your own list of dead partners?” you raised one eyebrow. “Thinking of its length gives me chills.”

“No dead.” his grin widened from one ear to the other. “They just had some temporary heart problems due to the performances I gave to them.”

You opened your mouth to slap his face with the words, but the waitress came back to your table with a huge tray. She was placing every bowl and plate, actually fucking Baekhyun with her eyes, you literally hardly suppressed your instincts, telling you to warn her immediately.

But you were not honest with yourself about why you wanted to warn her. In the deep of your mind, but in very deep, you had been starting to realize that you disliked when the girls threw themselves to Baekhyun because you wanted them to stop. You did not like the scene because you did not want to share Baekhyun’s gaze with another person.

You were lying to yourself without realizing what was the real problem of you.

You loved Baekhyun from the beginning, even though he was a fucking tease and a bloody smartass. There was no other man for you, if someone could cut your chest, the only thing would be seen in your heart was his name.

But that would be the heaviest self-enlightenment, and you were definitely not ready for such as a thing. That’s why you unconsciously continued to trick yourself by disguising your own feelings from your own eyes.

You got the chopsticks and decided to have your lunch instead of burying yourself in the maze of thoughts. Baekhyun realized your discomfort, but he had no idea what the real reason of your mood was, whatever made you unhappy was more than okey for him. He could be happy as long as you were sorrowful.

“You still not give an answer to the question.” he was persistent on pushing your limits. “Do you have a relationship?”

“Why are you curious?” you took a mouthful amount of jjangmyeon. How much you wanted to stuff these noodle strings into his throat, suffocating him to death. “If you want to send a bouquet, please note that I love blue roses.”

“You are really a virgin, huh?” Baekhyun diabolically grinned, you could swear on you saw the red halo over his head.

“Darling, you cannot make me angry by stating what is obvious.” you smiled back, there was no reason holding it back, you were always open on these issues, and a sick part of you wanted to tell him to see his reaction. “Yeah, I am a virgin.”

“Do you conservatively follow a church?” his chin dropped a few inches. “How could it be possible with all the boys who try to seduce you?”

Well, you did not expect to hear this.

“Come on,” Baekhyun continued. “I always see you with a bunch of men, do you really think they are following you only for friendship?”

“On the contrary of you and your limit-does-not-exist type of libido, people can build the bonds of affinity.”

“Only when they do not search for an open door to sneak in.” Baekhyun pointed his chopsticks to your face. “Telling you, I can name at least six permanent names in the waiting room.”

You did not see the hidden meaning of his words, however, Baekhyun was already became regretful, he silently prayed for your ignorance and blindness were going to keep him safe. Because he gave you the biggest clue of his interest in you by stating he could give even names.

He still did not understand how he could know everything about you or why he always put a brick on the ways of the candidates for you, but he did. Hell, he was unapologetically finding a way to prevent the boys who liked you and no one could understand it was Baekhyun. He always came up with a solution in order to intimate them, put them back off. You were not aware but Baekhyun always appeared around you when he thought a candidate was close to you more than he supposed to be.

He already put his stamina on you as his girl, but he was not aware of his own actions. He was not aware of what he has been doing, how he was persistently looking for you, searching for your face in every class or harmoniously living with your voice. It was like your breathing was singing to his ears, and he was dancing with your melody.

Baekhyun did not understand but he was yours.

“I am not sure what you think,” you sipped from jasmine tea with self-confidence. “But there is no such a fucking waiting room.”

“You are really blind.” Baekhyun chewed a rice cake, generously dipping it into the gochujang sauce. “Don’t you think Oh Seunghwan is acting like more than a friend? Or Jang Jeongbun? Jesus, even you really cannot be that much idiot.”

Baekhyun was right for the first time in history. You were nothing more than a retard because you really did not understand the behind the scenes of his words. He was unconsciously giving you the signs of his interests in you, but you were so naïve to see.

“They are my friends, Baekhyun.” you rolled your eyes back. “I know grasping the nature of different relationships is hard for you, but people can be nothing but friends. No need to add tensions or searching for hidden meanings.”

Every time you vocalized his fucking name, Baekhyun felt its impact went straight to his dick, and he hated himself for that.

You were not the type of people who could be okey with the target of teasing. You wanted to play, you wanted to be enhanced by it, sinking into the waves of the game.

And even Baekhyun did not admit it in his head, he believed you were the most attractive girl he has been known because of you always corresponded to his moves and cards.

“How about you?” you immediately played your reverse card, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “I heard that you and your gorgeous looks which made entire school swoon and fantasize about you? Are you really called as the sexiest human being on the country?”

Your voice was the strongest indicator of your disbelief, he could be the biggest moron on planet Earth, nothing more nothing less.

Also, you were aware of those comments on Baekhyun more than you wished for. You kept everything you heard about him in your head, in the safest and the most secret file of your brain, refusing to think but keeping on unconsciously think about those speculations. You found them very suspicious, but not because of Baekhyun did not deserve to be called as the sexiest human being, you found those fantasies as unlikely because of Baekhyun had not that macho man stuff people were somehow attributing to him.

You had grown so sick from all of these dreams and comments, coming from every corner of school since Baekhyun was like a star.

And now, you had him seemed quite displeased with your tease.

“Only on the country?” he raised one eyebrow. “Shit, it seems I am not doing well.”

“Baby, you are coming after Park Chanyeol.” you sighed in joy of dancing on your tiptoes. “That’s a quite achievement, when you think.”

“Chanyeol?” he sighed in annoyance; you knew that you trapped his ego in a small box. “Coming after Chanyeol?”

“Yeah.” you gave the most nonchalant look to him. “Well, I can tell that’s quite unfair since Flower Boys includes really strong names such as Kyungsoo or Junmyeon but… Poor girls, they have to be lunatic to put you after Chanyeol.”

“What do you think about these extremely distorted images of us?” Baekhyun angrily took a mouthful of jjangmyeon.

“Do you ask my list?” you crossed your hands over your chest, cooing with gleamy eyes. “I cannot believe that Byun Baekhyun, asking me, a poor peasant, for her list.”

Baekhyun’s eyes darkening, and you were not sure why your mood was changed from the pure need of mocking him to an excitement which you could not ignore. His voice was really screechy and boyish when he asked your list, and his voice giving you a different kind of pleasure. Not the pleasure of scolding him, but the delight of toying him, pushing him to the edge.

But you did not analyse your current feelings, instead, you rushed to deliver your actually-not-existent list.

“We are talking about physical features, right? But I am going to rate everyone also with their characteristics.” you smiled. “For me, the first name is Chanyeol. I mean, look at that face he has, and his body ratio is excellent, but he has a golden heart. Then, of course Kyungsoo, he is fucking handsome, therefore, he is a great guy.”

“I really pity your tastes of men.” Baekhyun’s discontent with your made-up list was palpable, and the dissatisfaction of his tone was like honey left out in the morning sun.

“The number 3 is Junmyeon as always.” you wholly ignored his comment. “No one can say anything against to Kim Junmyeon, he is the definition of aesthetic. Minseok and Jongdae shared the same number in my list, and that’s all.”

“You forgot me.” Baekhyun snorted, his voice made you lifted your head. He was so tense; you never see his jaw clenched at this expand. What’s up his ass? you silently though in your head.

“I did not.” you were cool as a cucumber. “You are not in the list.”

Till now, you guys always ate each other, digging the graves for each other, always fighting always scolding always throwing invisible daggers to each other. However, you have never ever seen those dangerous lights, dancing in the pupils of Baekhyun after your words.

It was difficult to wrap your mind around the fact that you found this Baekhyun as more attractive than his usual-self and unfortunately you already found Baekhyun very desirable. Even though you would never even let yourself to think about being intimate with him, his eyes stirred something inside of you, ignited some fires close to your lower stomach.

“I am sorry to hear that.” you also never heard this cold voice tone of Baekhyun, and you heard almost every negative version of Baekhyun’s voice which he spared only to use against you. “Let’s finish the meals, we have to be back to work.”

“Yeah.” you nod, lightly smiled. You managed to make him mad, you achieved your goal to annoy him so bad.

Why did you feel bad?

Why did you want Baekhyun to continue on the game?

Why did you feel regretful?

Why did you want to cry?

When Baekhyun’s phone started to ring, you almost completed every house in the list Junmyeon gave to you.

And you spent the last two hours in a total silence. It was eerily, Baekhyun’s lips firmly presses into each other like he sworn on not to talk again. You were not so different, but inside of your mind, something was gnawing your inner peace.

You were not happy, even you coped with the most difficult task, shutting Baekhyun’s mouth.

But you were not happy. You did not feel like you got the prize.

Instead…

You were extremely sad, and you felt like you let the trophy to slid between your fingers.

You had to feel like you hit the jackpot, but quite opposite, you were miserable.

You were especially afraid of losing Baekhyun’s attention, your own heart was aching at the way you told him off.

Still, you were lying to yourself and trying to conceal what made you afraid, you were not honest to your conscious, however despite of your efforts, you knew something was wrong with you after his transformation after you showed him the door.

You were a coward; you were not accepting the solid fact that you were in love with Byun Baekhyun and what made you afraid was nothing but losing him.

However, you were also sure on Baekhyun had a place in your head, making you shutter, had you shaking in your shoes. You could not name where to put his name, but you knew he had a place in your life.

And you were horrified by the possibility of losing the chance of hearing his voice. Even if his cocky remarks were the only words you could rip from him.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun answered to the call, for a second, you were happy to hear his voice again, but he walked towards to the last house you had to visit without waiting for you. He did not do this, even in the beginning of the day. You took a deep breath, you did not know why the heck you were really sad for his sudden coldness, godfuckingdamnit didn’t you hate and always despise each other? You mentally slapped yourself to gather yourself up, but it was pointless, you rushed to catch him.

You were aware of there was a painful squeeze in your chest, but you could not understand the reason of its presence or how you could get rid of that.

“Junmyeon told us to retreat.” Baekhyun informed you without looking at you. “After this house, we have to run back to the meeting point.”

“Okey.” you nod, hated the meek voice tone you produced but your mind was not on the case, you were questioning your own feelings and firm beliefs about Baekhyun.

Baekhyun was not better, to be honest, he was worse than you.

When you nonchalantly told him he was not in your list, he wanted to puke everything he devoured during lunch even though tteokbokki was his favourite food. He wanted to punch himself on the face when you counted the members of your fucking list, he wanted to smack his head into the table.

Chanyeol? Kyungsoo? Damnit, even Junmyeon found his way to sneak into your list, but Baekhyun was not there.

He was always sure of he would be landed in every list, but he never think that being in your fucking list was the most important for him.

Why did he care if you were not seeing him as a man or not?

This question swirling in his head had his mind shattering.

As much as he was happy to see you wiggling like a worm under the fires, he could not control his reactions against the problem. When he saw you trembling over a case, he was the first one always popped out of nowhere to fix the problem in the darkness and never let you learn that it was him. He did not let even Junmyeon to help you, putting aside Chanyeol or Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun was the one who had been saving your ass like he was your invisible rescue call.

But you did not name him in your fucking list.

It drove him into crazy. The lack of your attention. He never mean that alerting you on his helps or care for you, but at the same time, he never think that his efforts would be equal to nothing.

He hated himself as much he hated you.

While you were walking back to the meeting point, both of you were lost in your own darkest thoughts. You were carefully paying the attention in order to not to have immersed each other, however both of you wanted nothing but screaming to each other, enough to have the fiercest fight till now.

You wanted to lose yourself in Baekhyun just like he was dying to bury himself into you for his dear life. However, both of you were very good at muting the voices of your hearts and minds.

“Indy! Baekhyun!” you heard Minseok, turning to his voice. “It is going to be a blizzard; we have to find a shelter.”

“Ha?”

“The forecast was clear as fuck.” Chanyeol pointed Junmyeon who was glued to his phone. “Jun is looking for a hotel for us since we could not go back.”

“We can take the cabs?” you were puzzled, a blizzard would be bad, but it did not mean that you had to spend the night here. “I mean, we are not living in a different city.”

“Yeah, you are right.” Shinhye crossed her arms over her shoulders, trying to keep herself warm. You had to admit, although you did not feel it till now, the weather was really cold. “But the cab drivers refused to drive into the city center. They advised us to stay here.”

“How about using metro?” you asked. “It is not so hard.”

“If you want,” Junmyeon hissed at you, holding the phone over his shoulder for a second. “You can try your chance, Indy. However, we are going to spend the night here. Safe and warm.”

“He is right.” Kyungsoo smiled at you. “I prefer to be warm and dry, sorry.”

You took a look at the team, and everyone was approving Kyungsoo’s words like they were bloody zealots.

“Okey, dumbasses.” you sighed in annoyance. “But we do not have even fucking pyjamas.”

“You can always take your clothes off.” Chanyeol winked at you. “Who says you need a pair of pyjamas to sleep?”

“Shut the fuck up, Chanyeol.” a sudden blush spread over your cheekbones, Chanyeol could not help but burst into laughs.

Baekhyun was determined to ignore you, but he could not help himself.

“Yeah, number one.” he muttered between his teeth, enough to be heard only by you. “Golden heart.”

Your chin was dropped for a few inches after hearing his annoyed voice tone and vindictive comment.

Could it be the reason of his unexpected coldness?

Could he be jealous of your invalid expressions and your fake list?

No way.

He could not be.

Your heart skipped the order of beats.

“Okey,” Junmyeon interrupted your thoughts. “We are going, if we are lucky, we will be in the hotel before the bloody snow will sweep down on us.”

“Let’s go!” Shinhye grabbed your hand, dragging you beside of herself. You submissively followed her footsteps; however, your mind was distracted by Baekhyun’s last words.

Could it be?

“This is heaven.” Jongdae rubbed his tummy. “Thank you, Jun!”

“No problem.” Junmyeon smiled and looked at all of you, to be honest, after a really good and delicious dinner, everyone was knocked out over the table.

Except you and Baekhyun.

“If you want you can go to your rooms.” Junmyeon said. “Since we were fortunate to find a single room for each of us, I do not think we have to play rock-paper-scissor.”

“Ah, having a room for myself.” Minseok laughed. “I do not have to hear your snorts, Junmyeon.”

They were sharing the same flat, everyone laughed after his teasing, Junmyeon too.

“Look who is talking.” he beamed. “I am so happy that I am going to have one night without your damn showering rituals.”

“Tell us about it.” Jongdae whined. “Pleeeassse.”

While Junmyeon and Minseok had been giving details of their flatmate stories to the team, making everyone to enjoy the environment, you were deeply sink into the pool of thoughts.

What a day, you thought. And why I feel like I am desperate?

Also, Baekhyun was not enjoying the unexpected banquet, instead he was quite enough to draw attention to himself. Chanyeol was on the verge of asking what the heck was wrong with him, but Kyungsoo kicked him under the table, pointed you with his eyes. Chanyeol’s wit quickly grabbed the matter, and he devilishly grinned.

You gave a hard day to Baekhyun, and he had no intention to change a thing between you and Baekhyun.

He always believed that you were secretly liking each other, but as you were nothing but stubborn bastards, you concealed your feelings towards each other.

Chanyeol definitely had zero motive to interrupt the fight between you, if it meant you would understand your mutual feelings.

Junmyeon also sensed the tension between you and Baekhyun, but he was not the type of persons who could wait on his corner.

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun!” Junmyeon called out him, waking him up. “How was your day? Why you guys are silent as dead?”

“We completed the task.” Baekhyun answered sourly, the corner of his mouth jumping downwards faintly. “As you assigned me and her.”

Baekhyun deliberately avoided using the pronoun of us.

“And it was a hell of task.” he continued. “I am so tired.”

“Even if you are fucking tired,” Jongdae raised a rejection. “You never shut your mouth, tell us what the heck is gnawing you?”

The bloody girl who sits next to you, Baekhyun thought but he was clever enough to keep the filter between his mouth and brain as valid.

“The girl I gave a promise for this night.” he forced himself to beam. “Because of this fucking weather, I have to arrange another meeting with her.”

Your heart churned, his reply had you wanting to slap your face. Harshly.

And you thought that he could be jealous because you named Chanyeol!

You were nothing but such an idiot.

An idiot who did not know a single piece of shit but acting so superior.

You were a goddamn idiot.

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed after hearing Baekhyun’s shitty words, Kyungsoo wanted to punch Baekhyun’s face so bad, Junmyeon’s dislike of Baekhyun was obvious but he did not say anything, just sighed in desperation.

You felt nothing but another flash of pain as someone hit your abdomen.

“Are you okey, Indy?” Jongdae leaned over to you, whispering. You shook your head positively, smiling slightly. “You did not throw yourself into even desert.”

Your love for deserts was not a secret amongst your friends as Shinhye, sharing Jongdae’s concerns, handed you a bunch of cloudy puffs, filled with lemon cream. You took one of them, although you had no appetite, you forced yourself to eat the puff in order to put your friends at ease.

He was your biggest enemy and rival, right?

Why you were so devastated, almost on the verge of being hysterical?

You were not aware of you had been hypocritical with your feelings, and you were running away from your own heart. That’s why your hands were shaking, your heart was drumming into your ribs and aching as hell.

You were not ready to face with your heart, but you were also too naïve to save yourself from the pain it caused.

“Was he really harsh on you?” Jongdae murmured, his eyes was nothing but full of worries. “I am sure you could put him in his place but still…”

“He was not.” you said. “And you know me, nothing cheers me up but kicking his ass.”

“Glad to hear that.” Jongdae inhaled but the worries did not leave his face. “So why are you so down?”

“I am really tired today.” you sighed, tucking another puff into your mouth as you mentally punched your face in order to take the fucking control of yourself. “But if I will eat enough amount of these pastries, I will be like a bomb.”

“You are already like a bomb.” Minseok joined into the chat. “You look like on the verge of exploding.”

You unwillingly laughed at his damn right assumption.

“You know what?” you sniffed. “I am dying for a good drink. Would like to join me for a soju break?”

There was no single soul who could oppose to propose of grab a drink in your team. Jongdae jumped out of his chair, Shinhye was born ready and Minseok was the strongest drunkard.

“We are heading to the bar.” Minseok happily announced. “If you guys want to join, perfect, if not, good night to all.”

You were always impressed by the eagerness of Sejong Team to jump into any opportunity for a drink. Everyone, every single soul of this team, had a strong will to consume a respectable amount of alcohol. Less than a minute, everyone gathered up and headed to the elevators in order to visit the terrace of the hotel.

You had been wondering how rich Junmyeon was, even though he was a senior in college, or which kind of relations he had under his belt.

Jesus, you could not pay your attention during the dinner, however the hotel you had been staying was nothing but a touch of luxury. You had a strong guess on the payment bill of this place, however you preferred to keep it to yourself as you knew that Junmyeon did not like talking about the wealth lies beneath his fingertips.

But the bar was intimating.

Minseok, Jongdae and Kyungsoo were having a fierce conversation about the administrative offices of Roman Empire, Shinhye were with Junmyeon as they were talking on the next project that they aimed to present for the Head of Department. Chanyeol, only God knew how the heck he found that, was playing a guitar and you, as dwelling in an extremely comfortable armchair, tucked yourself into a blanket like a sushi roll, were enjoying the sudden calmness around yourself. The dim lights, from the chandeliers dangling from the ceiling, casting mirages across the hall, showing the wooden tables scattered between the chairs and beautiful, fresh cut flowers in their elegant vases.

It is not Korean but Chinese or Japanese, you thought, however with your bad eyesight, making an observation about the porcelain and its design was impossible. Also, you were a little bit slothful at the very moment to move your butt, you wanted to indulge in the soju you were holding, not anything else.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, warm but unfamiliar, your head jerked to face the owner of touch.

Baekhyun was looking at you, however his eyes were different from his usual self. There was no intention to mock with you, his eyes were clear as the snow drops that covering the streets right now.

“May I sit?” Baekhyun asked to you, catching you off guard with an unexpected kindness. You nod, feeling a sudden increase of the level of excitement, but kept your mouth shut. “Thank you.”

Thanking you? Byun Baekhyun?

You perked up, starting to prepare yourself for the fight, despite of the considerable amount of soju flowing in your veins, you were ready to guard yourself.

His elbow brushed your forearm when he was rolling his body in order to adjust the chair next to you.

You were shocked by the reaction your body gave to the moment, the only thing he did was sitting on a fucking chair, but your cheekbones were on fire.

His hips, damn his hips your inner voice was hysterically whispering in your head.

“May I ask to which muse I owe this honour?” you searched Baekhyun’s eyes for a glint of dismissiveness, however this was the very first time you have been the target of sincere, chocolate brown and deep irises.

“I have a question for you.” Baekhyun quickly ignored your offensive joke. “Why I am not in your list?”

He may as well have tossed you inside of a volcano, kicking you into the pool of lava, the impact would be the same. Your heart prompted to your stomach, they churned together, your throat and lungs tightened so bad, enough to cut your air by yourself.

You open your mouth, but nothing come out, just a bubble.

“I do not know how to translate that.” he sneered however you were at a loss. You could expect a lot of words from Byun Baekhyun but questioning the reason of his absence in your fucking list was not one of them.

“There is—” you bite your lower lip to stop yourself, you were on the verge of confessing that there was no list, you just tried to poke his ego, but thank God, you still had a piece of sanity to hold on. “I do not understand. Why do you care my list?”

Do I look like I fucking know? Baekhyun wanted to shake your cage, he wished nothing but screaming at you with all power he had in his lungs. He had no idea why he was mad at you, but he was out of rage and the only reason was you.

“Because I am curious.” he leaned his elbows onto his knees, cocking one eyebrow to you. “And what I hate most is being ignorant to a case.”

“I know.” you spoke without thinking, your mind was delving into the current problem you had in order to find a balanced answer, so you did not realize what you exactly said.

Unfortunately for you, Byun Baekhyun did not become your biggest rival by being blind or deaf.

His lips slightly curled upwards.

But the gentleman he could be, he did not corner you for the time being.

“So?”

It did not mean he would not try to push you in order to get what he wanted.

“Is there a rule saying that every human being has to be interested in you?”

You were not aware of it, but your voice was cracking, and your breathing became heavier, quickened and there was a sheen of sweet on your forehead.

To your dismay, Byun Baekhyun did not unconsciously mark you as his girl without studying you to the bits.

“Humanity is a different topic.” he widely smiled. “I wonder about you, sweetheart.”

Your breath stuck in your lungs because of the endearment, even though you were aware of his teasing of you.

“You are not my type, Byun.” you dead serious.

“Ah, your type is Chanyeol, right?” he smirked, turning his head to the tall brunette who indulged himself into the guitar. “Should we alert him to your interest in him?”

“Goddamn, no!” you hissed at him. What kind of trouble he was aiming to knit on your head? “Do you know the definition of privacy? You are invading personal boundaries, dumbass.”

“I do not think so.” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulder. “If you like Chanyeol, Chanyeol has the right of be aware of your interest.”

“Okey, even a scoundrel like you cannot be crossing the limit of respect like this.” you moved to stand up, giving the most dangerous look to Baekhyun. “I do not have to lis-

“Hey, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun called him with a high-pitched voice. Chanyeol lifted his head, distracted by the unexpected scream of Baekhyun.

“What?”

“Nothing!” your hand immediately tugged onto Baekhyun’s knee, squeezing it tightly in order to warn him. “You are playing so good, keep going!”

Chanyeol laughed at your words.

“You do not have to scream like that, Goddamnit.”

“Tell it to your friend.” you rolled your eyes back, fuming with anger but covering your face pretty well. You turned to Baekhyun, your eyes telling him that he was in serious danger if he was not going to shut his fucking mouth up.

Baekhyun did not care your silent warning, but your hand on his knee was a real distraction for him.

“I know that he is not your type.” he murmured, watching your hand, small, pale, and soft, Baekhyun did not want to confess but he wanted to latch your fingers to his. “Is it Kyungsoo?”

“Do I interrogate your preferences of girls, damn?” you literally gritted between your teeth. “Leave it.”

“I have no intention.” Baekhyun turned to Kyungsoo, narrowing his eyes. “Let’s ask if you are Kyungsoo’s type.”

“What the fuck are you, cupid?!” you grunted, and your hands moved without your consent. You grasped Baekhyun’s jawline, your fingertips were brushing his ears. “I said, leave it.”

“If you want to shut my mouth,” Baekhyun beamed, ignoring the fact that your touch meant for a lot than he could expect, he was going to think about it later. “Tell me why I am not in your list.”

“No one can desire someone like you!” you exploded. “An arrogant, dandy, selfish boy who does not know nothing but bringing trouble to others. That’s why you can never be in my list, even I have to choose between you and an octopus. For the records, I hate octopus, but I would go for it, if it means the other option is you.”

“Oh, you hurt me.” Baekhyun’s eyes glimmered with the sparks of unnamed feelings. He leaned forward, enough you to feel his breath fanning your lips. “You know what, sweetheart? You are so aggressive only when you have a secret which have to stay only in your head.”

“W-what?”

“I am definitely in that list.” Baekhyun claimed it with confidence, but it was just the appearance. Inside him, his heart was definitely shuttering, cracking into pieces, he had no control over himself, he could not understand his sudden behaviours. “I am in your list, if there is a list.”

Your eyes widened, and pupils blown up.

“Jesus.” you snorted. “When you lost your fucking mind?”

“You are a pretty bad liar.” Baekhyun was making assumptions out of his ass in order to get a reaction from you, he was not fucking sure if he was in the list or not, but everything he said actually rang the true bells.

“And you are a lunatic.” your intense eyes pinned him down, and the frowning lips caught your attention, but you forced to came back to your senses as soon as possible. “You will never be anything more than a lunatic.”

You attempted to stand up, but he was incredibly swift to catch your wrist, pressing you back to the armchair.

“Tell me, sweetheart.” he held your wrist for his dear life, caging you and to your disappointment, coming closer to your face, causing your ability of speaking to be faded immediately.

His godfuckingdamnit lips.

“You have been having doubts on me since the day we met, your driving force is giving me hard time.” his breathing was fanning your cheekbones. "Confess now, why are you pissed at me all the time?”

“Hell, you do talk like you are so different. Aren’t you the one who always finds a way to be trouble for me?” you raised one eyebrow, letting him to realize the game was reserved for two people. “If it means liking someone, since when you have been fallen in love over heels with me?”

“You have no idea how much I want to place your heels over my shoulders.”

Your chin was dropped, his words had you turning into a mummy who was trying to register into his remarkable sentence without a single brain cell.

You had to come up with the best answer you could give. You had to find the best response to him, and it had to be a perfect balance of sharpness, cockiness, and matureness as it had to be said with the resting bitch face.

And you heard your own voice.

“Ha?”

“You heard what I said.” Baekhyun intensively gazed at you, the proximity between your bodies had your body quivering and trembling at the same time and his fucking knee slightly, almost insensibly pushed your legs apart.

“You are really nonsensical, Baekhyun.” you inhaled, doing your best in order to ignore all the jolts all over your body, numbing your mind but also setting the skin on fire. Every time you said his name, Baekhyun felt something turning in his lower stomach. “What the fuck you want from me?”

“You did not name me in your list.” You could not believe your fucking eyes, more importantly, you could not believe you were still listening his gibberish like a kindergarten kiddo. “But, I am better than everyone else here.”

His voice dropped the slightest, making you shiver.

“Would you like me to prove it to you?”

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