#sick yukine

[totallyexhausted]

Because I spent four hours in Barnes and Noble today reading Noragami…

“Hey, Yukine, you’re okay buddy… just get it up,” Yato said softly, rubbing his hand across the boy’s back as he pitched forward again, retching loudly. The kid hadn’t felt well the whole day, something he refused to admit to Yato… but as the day progressed, it became more and more obvious. The pink sweaty hue across his pale face, shivering through his jacket despite the sweat forming at his hair line, unsteady on his feet and picking through his lunch, barely eating a few bites despite Hiyori’s worried glances. Personally, it’d pissed the God off.

He’d thought they were through this. That the boy had learned he could tell Yato anything, that he could lean on him… but he refused to admit he felt unwell, going along with whatever job Yato had picked out for them that day. If the kid wasn’t going to admit and act like he was fine, then there wasn’t much the God could do… and he’d let the boy believe whatever he wanted. He’d either give up and let Yato help or recover on his own.

This was, according to Hiyori when Yukine slipped to the bathroom after lunch, an arrogant and dumb way of thinking. Yukine was still a child, small and underweight for 14, and given what she knew of his past, had probably never really been able to lean on anyone when ill. He was probably scared, think the God could care less about something so small… and despite bickering with him, kicking him several times and calling him a selfish master, Yato refused to dump Yukine off on her or leave him in her care.

He wasn’t stupid. He knew the boy hadn’t felt well since this morning and the fact that he’d managed to drag himself all over the city, fighting off several phantoms including the gruelling two hours spent scrubbing some old man’s shower, was downright impressive. And in a way, made Yato feel slightly proud. The fact that the kid could endure so much when he didn’t have to. Yato wasn’t cruel. He’d never force the boy to do something he didn’t want to, and he’d never demand the kid power through when he felt under the weather… but perhaps Hiyori had been right when she suggested Yato ignoring the situation was both stupid and irresponsible.

It had been until they began walking home, the sky darkening as passer-bys hustled under the street lamps that Yato felt a pang in his chest. Yukine had fallen behind several feet, trudging slowly along the sidewalk, letting people shove past him. He’d grown quieter after Hiyori left for the evening to study for her exams; shoving his coat closer and coughing softly into his sleeve as he mumbled his goodbyes. Yato hadn’t noticed the boy had fallen so far behind, more concerned with the quick beating of his heart, mirroring Yukine’s own.

The God paused, the pang in his chest catching his breathe again, and he turned to see the boy standing under one of the lamps, his hands in his coat pockets, staring down at the pavement.

“Yukine?”

Yato backtracked, making his way towards the boy, ignoring the weird glances cast his way from several people shoving past them. He reached out, putting his hand in the boy’s hair gently, “Yukine? Hey…”

The boy shook his head before raising it slightly, and Yato swallowed as tears glistened against the light from overhead. The same pang from before ripped through his chest, and the God winced as Yukine let out a small whimper. He raised his sleeve to his eyes, scrubbing across his face roughly, trying to stop the tears rolling down his face as Yato brought his hand down, touching his fingers to the kid’s forehead. He was burning up.

“Y-Yato, I-“

Yukine lurched forward before he could finish his sentence, vomit spewing past his lips, painting the God’s tracksuit before doubling over and retching again. Several people stopped, throwing concerned glances their way as Yato placed a hand against the boy’s shoulder, steadying him as the younger threw up again.

After several agonising minutes, Yukine glanced up, wiping his mouth and chin across his jacket sleeve slowly before sputtering, tears streaming down his face and a loud wail leaving his mouth as he met Yato’s face. The God panicked, cupping the boy’s cheek, shushing him gently as the ladder continued to cry loudly; people topping further, glaring towards Yato as if he’d caused this.

“I-I’m sorry, Yato…” Yukine choked, reaching towards Yato’s tracksuit, “I don’t feel-feel good! I’m sorry!”

“Shh, Buddy, it’s okay. Yukine, it’s okay.” Yato said softly, pulling the younger against him, leading him away from the scene slowly, ignoring the pain in his chest as Yukine clung to him. The kid was scared. Trembling and unsteady on his feet, panic eating away at his thoughts, racing from Yukine’s mind to Yato’s…

…

Once Yato had managed to get them home, Yukine passed out against him, he led the younger to the bathroom, cleaning him up quickly before helping upstairs. The second the boy’s head hit his pillow, he was out again, leaving the God to clean himself up and deal with Kofuku and Daikoku’s questions…

…

Yato had thought of hoped Yukine would be able to get some peaceful sleep… but he’d been wrong. Several hours after the God had laid his futon next to the boy’s, Yukine had jerked awake, calling out Yato’s name through the soft glow of the lamp as he breathed through the remnants of a nightmare. Shortly after that, he’d started throwing up… which led to their current situation.

Yukine was propped against Yato’s chest, his head hanging weakly over the bin the God had stolen from downstairs, gagging loudly as his body tried to bring up whatever remains of an empty stomach. The kid was clinging to him, his fever high and steady despite the meds Yato had forced down the boy’s throat. He’d been doing his best to keep Yukine cool, wiping him down and replacing the rag against his forehead, but the nausea had reared its ugly head, making it impossible for the kid to get comfortable. He’d thrown up everything Yato had tried to give him, bringing up water a few minutes after it was down, and refused to take more after a third time. But even after emptying anything that could still possibly be in his stomach, Yukine was still nauseous, gagging harshly and barely bringing up anything other than saliva.

“You’re okay, Buddy. It’s alright. Just relax, Yukine.”

Yato put the van down gently, pulling Yukine further against him as the boy whimpered, gripping the God’s shirt weakly between his fingers. His fever hasn’t budged in the past few hours, and every time Yato had gotten the kid to sleep, he’d woken up shortly after, panicked and calling out for Yato. It was a rough situation and one that broke the God’s heart.

Yato pressed the bottle of water he’d been trying to get the younger to drink for the past few hours to the boy’s mouth. Yukine whined, turning his head towards Yato’s chest. The God tried again, “Please, Yukine, just a few small sips.”

After a few minutes, Yukine complied, taking two small sips before turning back towards Yato’s chest, gripping again at his shirt. He squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing compulsively as the bottle was set down. Yato sighed, running his hand through the boy’s sweaty hair, pulling him up against him as he leaned against the wall behind them.

“Good boy, Yukine. We’ll try again in a little bit, okay. But you did a good job, Buddy.”

Yukine coughed softly, shoving his forehead against Yato’s neck as he called his name.

“It’s okay, Yukine. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

…

Idk I kind of just trailed off through it cause yeah. Still want to write an actual fix with Yukine- him drawing a borderline because his fever was high and he got scared, Yato holding him like a child, the kid sleeping against him as Yato walks around the house, K+D fawning over how young Yukine looks… stuffs.

[isotones]

my dear my baby yukine, i can't stop getting sad every time i remember you. i feel like things are just too heavy and fucked up for a young boy like him.

he got a terrible life and death, bad luck seems like unable to stop coming to him. once he became a shinki, (un)fortunately, it's a poor god who bestowed him a name. he got a rough life debuting as shinki. but then he realized he did wrong, apologized to yato and hiyori, and promised to be a better shinki for yato. he didn't stop that way. he really does what he promises, he works hard, assists kofuku and daikoku, studies with hiyori, buys his own clothes, practices spells and incantations with kazuma, treats yato better, comes every time he calls him, yet shit keeps happening to him. yato is a pain in the ass. yukine just wants to know!!! please just TALK to him. but the world keeps leaving him out, yato never really communicates clearly with him, he is always left hanging, wandering and wondering alone. i can't really blame him, i can understand how he feels abandoned, betrayed, discriminated, and confused. he promised yato to always guide him, to always prevent him to kill humans, to always remind him his goal as a god of happiness. he was told that father is yato's lifeline, but the other day he found out that yato wants to kill father. what should he do???? aaaaaaa poor yukine. he always takes the pain, the realization, the redemption, the recovery, and the regret all by himself :((

and the latest chapter (104.2) he finally acknowledges that he is angry at his father, yato, and himself, that he wants to break free from those hatred and fix things up, but nobody understands him (and imagine you being yukine and finding out that all this time yato is leaving with kazuma as his shinki).

he wants to live, to love, to be loved. he realizes he did wrong. he apologizes. now he sees the world is once again crumbling in front of his eyes. he turned himself into a wolf ayakashi. he bears those all by himself....... how is the world so cruel? :((

i know people need time and their own to understand and reconcile with their own selves, their past, their problems, like, whatever people do to you or help you do something, you can never fix things if you don't feel and do it yourself, but yukine....... darling you deserve better!!! i'm begging, please adachitoka, make a beautiful ending with my baby yukine (and of course with yatori too), i would never forgive you if you do them otherwise.

[yatorihell]

Noragami Chapter 109 Thoughts and Reaction

First off a massive thank you to @fast-moon for years of dedicated service to the fandom and answering our questions. You have been the pillar of the community from the moment you picked up the series.

Now onto my (second) read reaction and thoughts

Seeing Yuka and she's aged more and she's looking at the sakura tree thinking of her brother just like Yato told Yukine she would I'm so sad Adachitoka you make me so sad

WHO LEFT THE FLOWERS could it have been Yato? Could it have been Yuka unwittingly placing them to remember her brother not knowing it's actually Haruki's grave? I'm so sad

Oh when it said another new year and we're at the hospital I'm so sad and then it turns out it's been many years!!!!!

The Capyper and star sticker as an earring? Remnants of attachment to Yato? Earring like Kazuma? Thank you Doctor Iki? Killing myself

Oh I really expected her diary to show up and then it does but Nora has it I'm so sad

The fact Hiyori's whole memory of that year is fuzzy so she doesn't remember Capyperland, and probably her grandma's death and the hospital arc and so many other bits

CPR SO INTENSE IT CRACKED HER RIBS

Oh she's touching her lips as she wonders who saved her I'm so fucking miserable Adachitoka you make me so sad are you happy

Jumpscared by hot Fujisaki I forgive you <3

Fujisaki gained control of his body and immediately fixed those bangs hejdjj

Remnants of Father's yearning to see Kaya again sorry babe she wasn't your girl maybe you'll find one that looks like her

Coo phone attack jdjdjnd that was so funny I can't believe he actually came back I was reaching with that prediction

My god I know it's not Father and he's cute now but I still hurled when he asked her out

Rip Masaomi's hairline, they say unproblematic men age better, so what crimes did you commit

Also rip Mr Iki you've aged so much it's probably the stress, but he's still got his medical license!!!!!!

Also I've been told it's been 8/9 years since that day with her being an intern now, it makes you wonder if Masaomi started a family

I MISS SOMEONE BUT WHO?

I actually couldn't believe how many of the bingo card predictions were coming true when I got to the sakura party jsjdnjf we truly manifested this ending

Little Ebisu growing up you will live forever you <3

Takemika and Kiun showing up like two dads with their children and pet bird jdjbdjfk

Takemika reassuring Shinatsuhiko that no one's laughing about their reincarnation vs Takemika bullying Ebisu in Heaven about killing him I hate growth I hate it (affectionate)

Followed by Takemika owning the fact that he himself has reincarnated when it was kept secret for so long I'm so sad

Oh Adachitoka you're so sick faking us out with a toast to Yato like he's dead followed by Bishamon once again beating the shit out of Yato at a sakura party

It's so funny Yato wouldn't release Kazuma but tbf it's handy if he ever needs to use him again

I wonder if Kazuma is treated differently now that he's a stray, or if he could suppress the name physically (it would only show if he got called like Nora did)

This Houki shinki that's a pegleg gun???? Rendered us bamboozled double checking Bishamon didn't lose a leg

Yato please find Yukine some clothes that fit????? Or maybe they're loose so they don't tear when he transforms and they can go back for them idk I don't like this look

Yato disappearing into the ground and becoming known as Teke-Teke he is the living meme hejdjb

I'm so sad Yukine has nightmares and turns into ayakashi form every night and Yato's wearing a Capyper jumper and he's hugging him

I did wonder if Hiyori's diary was on the shelf with the shrine, which begs the question when did Yato go to retrieve the shrine???? I'm so sad he would've seen that she fixed it and maybe it's a but scuffed from where it was dropped but it's his

Yato following Hiyori to keep her safe and he didn't want to cut ties I'm so sad the cord problem was enough to divorce her from the far shore without severing them altogether

I JUST WANT TO WATCH OVER HER AS SHE GROWS I'm so fucking miserable

Nora comforted by the fact Hiyori believes she had a name when she was in the womb? Devastated how did we never think of that

Interesting that the Yuuki name remains even after the word was destroyed, but it means that Yukine can't sting Yato so silver linings

Yato still doing his regular job of slaying and answering small prayers

Cherry blossoms being like snow I'm so fucking emo

THE NIGHT HAS A SCENT

YATO'S SHADOW IN THE TREE

MY. MOUTH. REMEMBERS!!!!!!

Oh I'm so fucking miserable I'm so fucking sad I hate this manga she remembered him all on her own after all this time and she's a doctor and everyone's safe I'm so depressed we're gunna celebrate April 2nd we need to work out what year it will be when she remembers

The final art????? Of all of them happy???? Hiyori is a doctor???????? Nora is with them??? Smiling??????? I'm ending it

It's been such a ride for these last 9 years since I picked up the anime and then demolished the manga right in time for season two. I've made friends and I've enjoyed building this blog into something that people used for their Noragami content. In the words of the rats this truly was my noragami

[mingigoo]

Champagne Problems // Choi San (06/??)

chapter six— fourth base

pairing(s) ⇢ trainee! San x heiress(fem)reader x CEO! Seonghwa

chapter synopsis ⇢ as that night with seonghwa ended abruptly, you found yourself at the door of San's dorm the next morning, half irritated and half worried. when it turns out he was sick, all your negative thoughts went down the drain. Hongjoong throws a party, and you have to get in the middle of their drunken fists to stop them.

chapter word count ⇢ 6.0k

total word count ⇢ 34.7k and counting

chapter warnings/tags⇢ 18+ minors dni, intense longing like damn I just want them together already I wonder who has control of that or whatever, drinking, sickness but nothing major, if I missed anything let me know!

taglist ⇢ @atinywhore @ch0isa99ie @hjjmkk @seongyeonsart @smuchsmut @baguette-atiny @sansonlygf @yesv01 @roe-sinning @immelissaaa @meowmeowminnie @yukine-smx @halesandy @8tinytings @y00nzin0 @hyunaphordite @asjkdk @yeritheloml @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @mangishii @a-tiny-teez @sinnenrausch @sanshineeeeee @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @honeyymon @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg (you can comment or message me if you’d like to be part of the taglist! if I missed you, please lmk!)

[one] [two] [three] [four] [five] [six]

Masterlist

Champagne Problems masterlist

When you awoke, you felt like a block of ice, all alone on your king-sized mattress.

Last night, Seonghwa’s presence enveloped you in the ways you desired. Ultimately, it only ended with a bit of risky touches and a tongue in the mouth. You sent him home the minute you felt the feeling of uncertainty, to which he obliged like the gentleman he was.

You let out a sigh, feeling the cool air hit the bare skin of your thigh. Reaching over to grab your phone, you saw a message within a mess of other things.

San, who you thought disregarded your birthday yesterday, sent you a simple message. As you read the words, you felt your heart beat faster, your chest tightening at the idea that he called you over and over again to reach you—and you paid no mind to it. Despite the anger you held for him not speaking to you for a week, that simple text made you jump out of bed and run to his dorm.

Once you got there, mix-matched socks and all, you knocked on the door roughly. Yeosang answered this time, an awkward smile on his face as he took in your rustled appearance. 

“Oh? y/n…” he carried on, offering you a smile. “Here to see San?” 

He must've been able to read the scowl right off your face.

You nodded, and he moved to the side to allow you to enter. You looked over into the living space, seeing Hongjoong and Wooyoung giggling over something—but no san.

“He’s in his room,” Yeo sniffed, shutting the door behind him. “He hasn't left his bed in days.”

All the anger of his ignorance left your body. “Huh? Not even for dance practices and shoots?”

Yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He didn't tell you—”

Hongjoong joined in, as the leader he is. “He’s been really sick, so he was given a week off.” His tone was worrisome, and as he saw the concern drip off your face, Hongjoong nodded towards the steps. “He’d probably like your company more than any of us. Maybe you can get him to eat.”

And just like that, as if it were magic, all your irritation went down the drain.

You were unsure of the look on your face. “Oh.” is all you said, and then you turned to go up the stairs to see him. You forgot why you came—it wasn't important now.

When you got to his door, you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. The reason he was out of touch, the reason he didn't see you on your birthday—all of it made sense. And here you were, blaming him for your selfishness and yearning for his presence.

You went to knock, tapping on the wood softly, but loud enough for him to hear. You stood patiently, afraid to barge in and disrupt his privacy. But when he didn't answer after a few minutes, you decided to push open the door in worry.

“San?” you hummed, stepping into the dark room. The curtains hid the shine of the sun, creating a hideaway for his sickly soul. You saw the top of his head from under the covers, streaks of green and black caressing his pillowcase. He didn't respond to his name, so you tried again as you got closer. “San? Are you alive?” 

You reached the side of his bed, his face hidden as well as his whole body. You sighed loudly, and slowly reached to pull back the covers to see his face. The minute the blanket was gone, you saw the sweat on his brow, the paleness of his skin, and the deep circles under his sleeping eyes. 

“Oh, jeez,” you huffed, staring at him a moment too long. His lips were parted, probably because he was struggling to breathe through his stuffy nose. You quickly made your way across the hall to the bathroom to get a wet towel.

Once you got it, you sprinted back into his cave of a room and sat down on the side of his bed—softly enough to not disturb him. You had absolutely no reason to be doing this, but after giving into seonghwa and getting mad at San for no reason, you felt sorry for him. Here he was, so sick he couldn't eat, and you had the audacity to kiss another man because you were upset about his quietness.

As you pressed the cold cloth to his feverish forehead, you watched his starry eyes flutter open slowly, blinking up at you as you took care of him. You watched his chapped lips curl up ever so slightly, causing your heart to beat out of your chest.

“....Hey,” he mumbled groggily, blinking up at you. He looked so pretty, it made you sick. Well, he was the sick one, but still. “That’s cold.”

You smiled. “It’s supposed to be.”

He stared up at you as you dabbed the sweat off his face. “How was your birthday?”

You gulped, thinking about the fact that you almost slept with seonghwa. It was even harder to admit to yourself that you imagined kissing San while it happened.

You forced a smile. The air was different—unforced. He was himself, without his walls. He was too weak to hold them up. “It was better when I got your text.”

His lips curled up, but flattened a second later. “Liar.”

He couldn't possibly know that you kissed Seonghwa, but would it even matter if he did? There was no real relationship with him, but yet, you felt like you betrayed him.

You ignored his expression and continued to press the cloth to his face. He didn't break his stare from you, his eyes feeling like daggers. 

“So,” you breathed, your bare fingers dancing across his cheek to feel his warmth. You cringed at the temperature, furrowing your eyebrows as you thought about the fact that he was sick for this long. “I heard you haven't eaten.” 

He blinked, and tried to sit up. You didn't stop him, knowing he was going to get up if he wanted to, anyway. He pressed his back up against his headboard, his toned chest covered by a thin tank-top that no way kept him warm enough.

“I haven't been able to eat.” he said honestly, more honest than his drunken self. 

You sighed at his tone, knowing he wasn't hungry. Setting down the cloth, you lifted your gaze to his shining skin. A sliver of sunlight was peeking through the curtain, reflecting onto his shoulder. He was no longer banged and bruised up, but he looked like a kicked puppy with his droopy gaze and his solemn expression.

He tilted his head. “You seem different.”

You frowned, looking down at his lip ring.

You swallowed. “What? How?”

He smirked, barely. “I don't know, I just feel it.”

“Well,” you put a smile on your face to mask your true feelings. “Maybe it's the birthday glow.”

He let out a little chuckle, but coughed not long after. You gave him a worried glance, eyebrows furrowing at his distress. 

“Let me make you something good to eat.” you stated, no room for him to say no. He opened his mouth to speak, but you impulsively pressed your finger to his lips, shushing him. 

The minute you felt the coldness of his lip ring against your finger, your mind wandered to the idea of you pressing your lips to his, feeling it against you, coldly, smoothly. He would pull you right onto his lap, you imagined, and his hands would roam all over your body like he was exploring an uncharted—

“Okay, but in exchange, I have something for you,” he spoke through your hold, interrupting your thoughts that could've—and would’ve—gone south, his weak hand wrapped around your wrist to pull it away slowly. “Let me get it.”

He started to get up, and you were too distracted about your thoughts to stop him. You kept your gaze on him as he pushed himself out of bed, and as he slowly walked over to his closet across the room. You stood up to face him, worried about him—and worried about your thoughts that were definitely not fake like the relationship you were in.

“What is it?” you hummed, staring into the darkness of the room until he turned the closet light on. It was only a small amount of light, but it illuminated San’s figure.

His back was turned to you as he rummaged through his wardrobe. “Something you should've had before.”

You kept quiet as he turned to face you, his eyes sunken in and his skin pale. 

“Here,” he spoke softly, walking over to you with a worried glance. He held out a jewelry box in his hand, his other hand behind his back awkwardly. You tilted your head subconsciously at the small box in his hand, and as you reached for it, your fingers brushed against his.

“What....” you paused as you took hold of it, finally understanding what it was. You opened it, revealing a delicate looking ring, catching the warm light from the closet. You gasped, holding back your emotions from tearing you apart. You felt guilty for getting upset at him—here he was, getting a goddamn ring for you.

“San…” you whispered, standing still in the middle of his dark room. You hesitated on your words, worried that you would say something wrong. This was all so confusing, but something inside you craved for this to be real.

He stood awkwardly. “It was for your birthday, and since your dad was saying you didn't have one, I thought I would make sure you have it now. Even if it’s small and not twenty-four karat like Seonghwa would get you—”

You shut him up by throwing your arms around him, wrapping them tightly around his slim waist. You nuzzled your head into his chest, hearing his heartbeat quicken at your embrace. You let out a sigh as you breathed in his scent, feeling closer to him than you ever felt with anyone. 

“Thank you,” you whispered into him, and as you spoke, his arms slowly wrapped around you to hug you back just as tightly. “It’s beautiful.”

“I know it’s not real—this, us. We’re not real, but,” he sighed, resting his sickly head on top of yours. “You should be able to experience this.”

You pulled away, but still stood in his embrace. The air was thick as you breathed, his expression pulling at your heartstrings. You didn't know what you were feeling, but you were certain that you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to tell him all the things you wanted to experience, and he was involved in every single one of them. All your little champagne problems couldn't hold up to his, but oh, he made everything seem okay.

You looked up into his eyes, lost in their own universe. He captivated you, kept hold of you, so much so that you couldn't see anyone else other than him. 

His eyes were on your lips, his expression finally readable. It brought you back to your words to him in the car not too long ago, telling him that it was only human to feel things. His eyes lingered on you, along with his hands, and as the space between you shrinked, nothing would have stopped him from kissing you if it wasn't for Hongjoong’s loudmouth.

“Guys get down here! We got tteokbokki!”

You pulled away from San quickly, while he stood without moving, his hands desolate without you in them. He watched inaudibly as you slid the ring on your finger, a small smile reaching his chapped lips.

“Are you going to eat?” you asked him, your voice tender, as something between you both shifted once again. 

He nodded. 

“I guess I should.”

—

San sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket hongjoong tossed at him. 

You left around an hour or two ago, leaving San a  perplexed mess with a full stomach. Hongjoong sat next to him, the other boys galavanting on their own elsewhere.

“A ring?” Joong scoffed in disbelief. “You…gave her a ring? You?”

San frowned, sniffling. “What’s that supposed to mean?

“Oh, come on San,” Hongjoong sat up on the couch, pulling his legs into a criss-cross formation. “You barely have a heart. Actually, I'm not sure it even beats, to be honest. A ring? There must be something wrong with your brain.”

“There was a reason.”

“Other than the fact that you like her?”

San raised his eyebrows. “I don’t like her,” he spoke, but his tone was muted. He didn't know what he was feeling, and you definitely had a hold on his barely beating heart. “I can't.” 

“Mhm.” Joong smirked, but signaled San to keep going with his excuse. “Sure, okay. Go on, go on.”

The younger boy let out a sigh. “It’s because of her dad. He mentioned how she didn't have a ring and we’re supposed to be engaged, so for fuck’s sake the girl deserves a ring at least.”

San fiddled with his fingers, picking at the skin around his nails. He thought back to the time in the car after the dinner, how you cried, how you told him it was okay to cry. He knew that, of course, but he couldn't let himself cry. It was a sign of strength if you could let yourself shed a tear in his eyes. Vulnerability was a scary thing.

Hongjoong changed the subject after noticing San’s expression change. “Anyway, I’m gonna have a little get together at my house for our debut.”

San frowned. “When?”

“Soon. But you know how my dad is always butting into my business?” Hongjoong clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes at the same time. “He wants to invite all the big shots….” he trailed off, giving San a knowing look that he hoped he would pick up on.

San coughed, his expression confused as he tried to understand what hongjoong was trying to say. “Huh? Big shots….like the company big shots?”

Joong sighed. “Listen, he’s all buddy buddy with Y/N’s dad, the hotel chains, chairmans, and Park Industries and shit. I cant even throw my own party without his snake ass getting involved—”

“Wait—Park Industries?” San widened his eyes. “Park Seonghwa? He’s going to be there?”

“I bet.” Joong smacked his lips. “So will y/n.”

With an aggravated sigh, San suddenly felt healthy again. Like he could move a mountain, actually. “When’s this party?”

“This weekend.”

“I’ll be there, then.” he nodded, making Hongjoong skeptical. He smirked at him, giving him a knowing smile. 

“Ah, I see.” he chuckled, elbowing the sick boy in the stomach lightly. “Gotta protect what’s yours, hm?”

San bit his lip. “She’s not mine.”

That’s it. Hongjoong broke out in a full, gummy smile.  “I never said it was her….looks like you just proved your feelings, buddy.”

With a pat on the shoulder, Hongjoong stood up with that same old smile as he made his way out of the room. Before he left, though, he turned back to face San.

“You ate a real meal for the first time in a week….” he paused, looking into his eyes. 

“She was the only one you listened to.”

—

“Beautiful! Give me something flirty!”

Days after you saw San at the dorm and when he gave you the ring, you were in the middle of a shoot, only thinking about one thing—San.

You posed for the camera, doing a shoot for a perfume commercial. You were freezing, barely clothed as you posed seductively with a male model, his hands on your bare hips and his nose pressed against your neck.

San…

San…San…San…San…San…

Imagining the man as San, you ran your hands down his toned chest, lost in the abyss of your own feelings. It was inescapable at this point—you were now delusional. 

“Wonderful! And cut! That's all we need, thank you guys!”

You stepped away, letting out a sigh of relief as the shoot was over. The other model said his goodbyes and left, leaving you all alone in your own mess. Would it be a crime if you just dated San? Like, for real? Or you know what? Maybe you can just sleep with him once to get this shit out of your system. Yeah. Maybe that would work.

But what if he wants nothing to do with you?

“Fuck.” you hissed at yourself, running your hands through your styled hair. “Get a grip, y/n.”

You left the shoot not long after that, finding yourself back in your home, staring at yourself in the reflection of your bathroom mirror. 

San was going to debut soon. He was getting busier and busier, and that included Hongjoong, too. However, not tonight though, as he was coming over for another “girls'' night. You were in desperate need of it, and you couldn't wait to vent to him about the past week.

And when he arrived, you spared no second on the details.

Quite literally, you started venting the minute he opened the door. 

“I need to be slapped so hard right now.” you groaned as he plopped onto your couch. You sat next to him, facing him and criss-crossing your legs. 

“I’ll do it.” he shrugged, a smirk on that pretty face of his. “Left cheek or right cheek?”

You smirked jokingly. “We are talking about my face right now, right?”

He winked at you. “Oh, sure. Think what you want.” he paused. “But no.”

You slapped his shoulder with a laugh, but got right back into the rant of the season. 

“All jokes aside, I made out with seonghwa and nearly went to fourth base.”

“Pfft, that's hilarious Y/N,” he let out a giggle, but when he saw how serious your expression was, he gasped. “Wait, for real? Fourth base?! Girl, you almost fucked the enemy?”

You groaned. “I mean, he was so nice and looked so pretty and I was sad and San didn't come but that was before I knew he was sick and I got caught up in Seonghwa but the worst part was while I was kissing him I kept on thinking about San and how I wished it was him instead and now I think I’m going insane and can't stop thinking about kissing him and more and more and please for the love of god cant I just sleep with him once or something—”

“You're rambling,” Joong paused you. “Breathe.”

You took a breath, running a hand through your hair. 

“I think I like him.” you threw your head back in agony. “Of all the people it’s him. Either I like him or I just want to fuck the living shit out of him—”

“TMI, please.” he hissed. “And about sleeping with him. He’s a sensitive guy. I wouldn't do anything unless you are sure of his feelings, too.”

“I mean I’m not gonna do anything.” you breathed, telling yourself more than him. “I just need to get over it. but…I mean, we already are using each other. Would it hurt to use each other a little more….that is if I know he wants it too, of course.”

Hongjoong stood up, letting out a yawn as you followed him into the kitchen. “You’re driving me insane and I need alcohol.”

He opened your fridge and pulled out some bottles of soju, and then finally sat his ass down at the table. You grabbed your own bottle, screwing the top off to chug like a maniac.

“Slow down,” he laughed, but like the hypocrite he was, he did the same thing with his own bottle. 

“So sleeping with him is a no go?” you breathed, trying to catch your breath after gulping the liquor. “Should I ignore this feeling?”

Joong let out a little chuckle, sitting down at your dinner table with a sigh. “Listen, Y/N. I can't control your feelings—or his. I’m a hopeless romantic so i’d love to see you two work out but I can't promise you anything.”

Sitting across from him, you set down the bottle, leaving a ring of condensation to mark the mahogany like a scar. “...I'm probably just overwhelmed and confused. I’ll wait it out and let this pass— I’m not the type to get attached to men, anyway.”

You were right—this was odd for you. The feelings, the longing. The way your breath shortens when he touches you, a fraction of a feeling your heart desired but your mind ignored. He was the cause of your distress, your irritation, your despair. 

And the cause of your butterflies, your smiles, and your happiness.

You picked up your bottle, wiping away the scar it left with the sleeve of your shirt. “Anyway, about your party this week. Will San be there?”

Hongjoong swallowed the gulp he took, his face breaking out in a sinister smile. “Oh? That’s funny, San was curious about you going, too.” he leaned back in his chair. “And he seemed super concerned that seonghwa was invited.”

You paused when his name came up. You haven't spoken a word to the man after you kicked him out of your place, almost comically, before he was about to rip your clothes off. You bit your lip awkwardly, trying to imagine San’s words when hongjoong told him about the party.

“He….was concerned about seonghwa going?” you pondered out loud, dragging your nails in a circle along the wood of the table. You drew a few swirls before looking up hesitantly. “Why?”

He shrugged, looking down at your distracting hand. “Don't know. All I know is that he seemed awfully interested that both of you would be there at the same time. Most emotion I've seen from him in ages.”

Your mind jumped back in time, lost in the memory of San. it played over and over, like a broken record, and the feelings came along with it. From his hair, to his heart-wrenching eyes, to his smooth skin, his forced smiles. You craved him like no other—sleeping with him wouldn't solve this problem, but that was how your brain was wired. You didn't know how to love, how to understand the emotion. You were lost in the sea of endless waves, getting hit left and right with the same aches and pains you’ve had your entire life.

You groaned in irritation, running your hands through your hair as hongjoong took another monster gulp from the near-empty bottle. “I think I’m going insane. I don't know who I am. I need to deep clean my brain with a damn mop and drain every fucking thought out.”

Joong snorted, letting out a cough as he inhaled some liquor. 

“That’s what alcohol is for.”

Just like that, a bright idea popped inside your mind. “Wait a damn minute.”

Your best friend blinked. “Huh? What is it?”

You stood up from the chair, unknowingly smiling like a lunatic. “I have an idea.”

He furrowed his brows, eyes searching your expression. “You’re scaring the hell out of me…what’s this grand idea?”

You clapped your hands together like an evil villain of a comic, raising your eyebrows at the boy in front of you. “To see if San is also interested in me. So I can act on this feeling—whatever it is.”

Joong sat there, expressionless. He eventually sighed and stood up to grab another bottle, drinking it as soon as it was opened.

“Well, shit.”

—

It was the night of the party.

You stood in the middle of your bedroom, only in your underwear and a pair of socks. A bunch of dresses, skirts, and an array of pants covered the duvet, some sparkling and some dull. You knew your father’s minions might be around to spy, given that the party was basically arranged by Hongjoong’s dad rather than himself. 

In your world, they controlled everything, as if the offspring had no right to live their own way. You had control over your appearance, at least—that meant you needed to look so disapproving that it would spark a flame you couldn't burn out.

You picked the silky dress you wore the day you met San, hoping to grasp his memory. It caressed your body in the way you wished his hands would, an ache you couldn't quite understand yourself. You needed to experiment in order to find out.

Sliding on your heels, you grabbed your bag and a bottle of soju to pregame in the cab.

All eyes were on you.

You arrived at the party, half tipsy and half scheming. People you didn't recognize infiltrated your vision, seeing smiles that had no meaning. You smiled back, pushing past the strangers to get to Hongjoong, who was sitting on his balcony, waiting for you.

“Fashionably late, as always.” he spoke disjointedly, lips curled up in a grin. “Is your plan still on?”

You motioned to your outfit, glitter sprinkled all over your eyes. Your lips shined, begging to be kissed. “Don't I look the part?” you walked over towards him, leaning back against the railing as his eyes raked your entire body.

“Oh, you do. Really.” he nodded, smirking. “Almost got me on your hook.”

You scoffed. “What a tease.” looking through the glass doors, you scanned the crowd for any signs of the two men that were involved in your plan. “Seonghwa here? San?”

“Seonghwa, yes. San, not yet.” he picked up the beer can that was sitting at his feet, bringing it up to his lips. “But don't worry, he’ll come. It’s a party for us, anyway.”

You looked down at your feet, happy that the air was warming up as summer approached. “He’s not the party type, though.”

“Don't worry, he’s coming,”

You nodded, signaling to his beer to change the subject briefly. “Is that all you got? I hate that kind.”

He shook his head with a smirk. “No, no. I got your favorite kind in the fridge, of course.”

Pushing off the railing, you gave Joong a tipsy salute as you moved towards the glass doors. “Ah, and remember the plan, K?”

“Aye aye, captain,” he rolled his eyes playfully, and you made your way back into the party, desperate for some chaos as per usual.

Like fate, you bumped into Seonghwa after a few beers. Your vision was hazy, your intentions sinister as you saw that pretty face of his.

“There you are,” his smooth voice rumbled through your soul, nearly making you shiver. “I was looking for you…”

His hands met your hips, his eyes on yours like glue. Your heart was set on getting a reaction out of him, but since San was nowhere in sight yet, there was no point of getting flirty. “Hi, Seonghwa.”

The tall man frowned, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “Aren't we going to talk about the other night…” as he spoke, you felt the warmth of his breath hit your cheeks, unable to pull away from his hold. His hand trailed down your spine, ever so gently. You met his gaze, feeling vulnerable under the tension. Once again, that desire came about—that you wished it was San standing here, feeling you up, looking at you like he wanted you for years and years. “....Did you tell your boyfriend?”

He tilted your chin up, your lips an inch apart. This was part of your plan, but it happened too soon—and you were too drunk to deny his advances. It felt too good to be touched, even if it wasn't the right person.

“Tell him what?” a raspy voice muttered from your left, and you looked over like a deer in headlights.

San stood stoically, his eyes focused on the way Seonghwa had his hands on you. 

His eyes grew darker.

You blinked at him, all of a sudden unsure about your plans. The look in his eyes was like no other—you wondered if it was an act like your relationship was. Still, that was a nearly impossible look to fake.

“So you didn't tell him.” Seonghwa huffed with a smirk, his hands resting at your hips. San’s eyes followed along, eyes narrowing even more before meeting yours skeptically.

“Y/N….” San hummed, desperately looking for the answer. This wasn't acting, no, it couldn't be. It was too real, too serious, too raw. “What is he talking about? Tell me what?”

You paused as you looked at the desperate boy in front of you. “I….” you stopped yourself, unable to come clean. “Let’s talk in private, okay?” you raised your eyebrows at him, trying to signal that he can tone back the acting a little bit. When he didn't budge, you knew it in your heart that he just proved what you wanted to see.

San shook his head, moving his attention from you to the man that was holding you. He nodded towards seonghwa. “You. you tell me. And for fucks sake would you let go of my girlfriend?”

Your chest tightened.

Seonghwa smiled, his hands still on you like you were his property. “Oh? You really want to know?” the millionaire looked around, making sure no one was actively listening to your conversation. He didn't want any backlash on you. “The real question is where were you on her birthday? I was there. Oh, I was more than there, right, y/n?”

San frowned, his usual stoic expression turned to indifference. “You…were with her then?”

“I’m not sure how much you want to hear….out here,” Seonghwa was smirking the entire time, like was proud of your vulnerable state on a day you only wanted to see San. 

“Tell me it all, asshole.” San sniffed, and you tried to push away from Hwa to check on him. Was he still sick? 

“San—”

“We don't have to name call, now.” Seonghwa let go of you, but not after a sensual stroke of the arm. “I’m just speaking the truth, ain't that right, y/n?”

The look on San’s face made you rethink all your actions. You’ve never seen such an emotion on that face of his, and it didn't quite scare you—rather it gave you hope that his feelings weren't just fake or forced. 

You moved towards him, gripping onto his arm with a confused glance. “San, come on, let’s just go.”

He pulled out of your grip, a death glare directed at Seonghwa. “Not until that dickhead tells me what he did.”

You moved your attention to seonghwa, who was laughing devilishly, but worry was plastered behind his gaze. “I almost did y/n, that's what. The night you were MIA.” he licked his lips. “I’m sure you get to kiss her all the time, but oh, were her lips sweet as hell. Tasted so good, better than anyone else—”

“Shut the fuck up—” you hissed, but were interrupted by San.

“I’m gonna beat your ass, Park—” he pushed forward, gripping the taller boy by the collar. Your eyes widened at his display of emotion, knowing this was the most of anything that you’ve seen from the normally gentile San. his words could be sharp, but he never fought—this time, he initiated it.

“Admit your mistake,” Hwa spoke as San held him with gritted teeth. He nodded towards you, smiling like the devil. “And she’s going to marry me eventually anyway. Might as well give up now.”

You watched the fire light up in San’s dark brown eyes, changing everything you planned out for the night. You swallowed hard, drowning in confusion as San brought his fist to Seonghwa’s cheek.

“San oh my god—” you ran to him, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him off the other boy. He knocked the taller boy onto the floor, slamming his fist against his face once again. Seonghwa fought back, hitting San hard against his eye.

“Stop it!” you cried out, throwing yourself into the middle of it, pulling San off of Hwa with all the strength you could muster. “Fuck,” you muttered, meeting the intense gaze from San’s sparkling eyes. He was breathing heavily, sitting on the floor with blood dripping down his cheek. A cut from a ring, you believed. 

Seonghwa smiled through the pain, his face also painted in bruises. You gave him a worried glance, helping him stand before going to San. 

And when you got to San, you saw the droopiness of his gaze, the way his eyes lingered on you as you moved to help him up off the ground. 

He spit at Seonghwa’s feet, a grimace covering his gentle nature. 

You sighed, totally disregarding the amount of people watching. You grabbed onto San’s arm tightly, giving one last glance to the man you were meant to marry.

“Let’s go,” you tugged on San, pulling him out of the place with silence, Hongjoong watching from the sidelines. You took in a sharp breath as you were out in the fresh air, feeling the coolness of the spring air hit you.

You stopped at the bus stop, letting go of San angrily, knowing said anger wasn't idealistic. You had nothing to be mad about—in fact, you were just overwhelmed with his reaction. 

You calmed down after a moment, looking at the injury that dawned that delicate face of his.

His cheek was cut, still bleeding a little. His eye was shadowed, and was most definitely going to bruise over by the morning. His debut was less than a week away—he didn't have time to get battered up once again.

This time, though, he was the one that started it….

You stepped closer to him, his breath shaky and his eyes unsteady. They moved from the ground to yours in a moment, and he let out a stuttered breath. “Why?” he whispered, looking down at you.

You searched his eyes, trying to decode his exposition. You were sobered up from the antics, but he still looked inebriated—glossy eyes and parted lips.

“You’re hurt,” you breathed, reaching out to grab his hand. “Let’s go back to mine.”

Before you got to him, he pulled away sharply, baring his teeth. “Why?”

“Why what?” you tossed your hands up in the air exasperatedly. “Why did I kiss him? Why did I have a moment of weakness? Huh? Is that what you want to know? Is it a crime that all I wanted was to see you, and he was the one who showed up?”

Your chest heaved, your heart upon your sleeve as he just stared back at you. Breathing in, you watched how his hands twitched to reach out to you, how anger and irritation and acceptance danced across his features.

“Lets just….” you sighed, gripping his hand without him pulling away. He looked down at your touch, eyebrows furrowed. “Just come home with me, San.”

You began to walk away, but he stood still—unmoving. You paused, turning back to look at him. 

“I…please stop,” he sucked in a breath, his words slightly slurred. He didn't drop your hand, though. Instead, he squeezed it like he never wanted to lose you. “I….I might misunderstand.”

You frowned, looking down at your touching hands. “Misunderstand what?”

He took a second to respond, looking into your eyes as if he never did before. “You, Everything. If you keep touching me—fuck, even if you…if you look at me like that I….” he swallowed, “I might misunderstand you.”

As if it were a confession, your heartbeat quickened and your chest began to ache. Never has anyone made you feel the way he does, and it doesn't help that he’d drunk out of his mind, angry from seonghwa, and all beat up that it made you want to hug him and take care of him. You weren't sure what he meant by misunderstanding, but you had a feeling it was his way of opening up—even if it wasn't ideal, it was a moment that was rare. He would go right back to the unemotional San the minute he would get sober, so it was time to enjoy the truthful time you so desperately wanted.

“Come home with me,” you gulped, biting your lip before you said something stupid. “Let’s clean you up.”

His eyes were prettier than the stars as you stood underneath them, your hands intertwined, and your feelings tangled more than ever. He let out a shaky breath before he answered you—an answer for more than one question.

“Okay.”

[nightwalker6200]

Noragami Headcannon

Yato is a young single dad to a 7/8-year-old Yukine, who takes any random job he can get - sometimes he brings his kid with him to his jobs because what else is he supposed to do when his sister or whomever can't watch Yuki. He lives in an apartment with his sister or childhood friend (assuming you wrote Nora as his sister), Kofuku, and her boyfriend, Daikoku.

Hiyori is a med-student who lives below them. She's run into Yato several times and feels bad that Yukine has to "put up" with such a chaotic menace for a father. Yato shows up at her door one evening, frazzled and asking, despite Yukine's protest behind him, if Hiyori could do him a huge favor and watch the kid for a few hours while he took care of a job... Despite his closed-off attitude, Yukine is actually quite sweet and kind, and he likes learning new things.

Or Hiyori has been trying to get some sleep for the past few hours, but her upstairs neighbor's kid won't stop crying - something that seems extremely out of the ordinary for the young boy. After a while, she gets fed up and marches upstairs, banging on the door because she has several medical practice exams tomorrow. Yato answers the door, frazzled and tired, Yukine either clinging to him, or clutching his pant leg, still crying and flushed... basically, Yato is at his wits-end trying to get his kid to calm down and relax, but the kid is overly exhausted and sick, having worked himself up. Kofuku and her boyfriend are either out of town, or there, Daikoku standing in the kitchen doorframe, his arms crossed, yelling at Yato to let him take the kid so the slacker could get some sleep - Hiyori basically taking charge of the situation because no one seemed to know what they were doing and the fact the Yato doesn't have any children's meds lying around seems extremely irresponsible for a single father...

[eerna]

On another note, I wonder if the hiatus and her sickness made Adachitoka change her mind about the final arc, like maybe it gave her a more pessimistic worldview

Which is why the final arc feels consistent on it’s own, but separated from the rest of the series, it’s way more haunting too, gloom-ridden and cynical. It still has some softness and tenderness, but still defeated.

(Like ND Stevenson? His two adaptations of Nimona are technically the same story, but one is way more uplifting than the other.

In which point on their life they write their story Can widely change the message of the story, even after the break)

Ngl I thought the same. I guess Yukine's arc and Bisha's crew ended happily, but Yato, Hiyori, and the entire rest of the cast are getting wrecked in every area imaginable and several I never even considered. Holy crap. Yato is straight up never gonna dare to rely on anyone ever again. I honestly hope that's not it and that Adachitoka will be okay

[fictionkinfessions]

killing myself im really REALLY sick of the blorbo to kin pipeline can i ever just like a guy like a normal person do i always have to be said guy. kin gods please

-probably yukine noragami. i have to rewatch a few more episodes to be sure but fuckkkk its almost a definite yes

Anonymous asked:

sorry mpc can you add this onto the ask i just sent about blorbo to kin pipeline and most likely being yukine from noragami

update: watched the few more episodes i needed to and got hit with memories of what it looked like when i transformed into sekki. siiiigh

[toomuchsky]

been catching up on the noragami manga (bc i am SOMEHOW STILL SICK AND FERAL) and i’m obsessed w the angst it’s literally so good but also i’m not prepared for yukine’s backstory like at all. yato’s was bad enough.

[h0estar]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

Hi! Yes absolutely! I am so sorry it took so long. I haven't opened Tumblr in forever. I'm not sure if I can list down 2 characters from the same media platform once but just in case I'm not, I'll just list down one. This is based on the order I remember them by since I have really shit memory and there might've been a few fave characters I missed 🥲

I'll list down what comes to mind first haha

1. Yukine (Noragami)

-I love him SO MUCH. The first time I watched Noragami back in 2016, I knew I would love this boy with all my heart. Something about troubled and misunderstood anime kids with fucked up backstories just make me want to take care of them man. He's my adopted baby period. His character development is also very beautiful.

He's a very complex character. Idk why people shit on him for acting like a child when he is quite literally a child 😭 let him be a kid man, let him be immature, I was also immature at 14 and I'm happy for him bc he's got someone understanding by his side at all times.

I wish the ending would do justice to his character fr.

2. Kagura (Gintama)

She's funny asf. Also, strong asf. I love good female rep in anime and Kagura takes the cake for me. She has no filter, she's really cool, really funny, and just a fun and enjoyable character overall. (You should watch Gintama btw, it's my favorite anime).

3. Usopp (One Piece)

People shit on him a lot and I'm sick of it. I love him because he is SO REAL. He represents ordinary human beings in the One Piece world and I admire his bravery so much. His goal isn't even something grand, he just wants to be the bravest man who crossed the sea and I love that for him. He's a coward fr but seeing him break out of his shell and take courage to face his fears make me so emotional and proud. He inspires me to face my fears too :')

4. Izaya (Durarara!!)

He was lowkey the reason why I majored in Psychology. I love this cunning man. Watching everything go into flames bc of the shit he pulls excites me so much. I love watching him work. Totally not bc of his VA.

5. Newt (The Maze Runner Series)

Okay, this person was also real as shit. The way he's depicted in the books? Perfection. He's just so kind and caring and gentle to the gladers and to people they met during the scorch trials and ugh he deserved sm better :(

the way i have a whole 'nother blog dedicated to the maze runner series and it's always just abt him 💀 i was obsessed w him man. something abt broken/complex characters who are just so kind and tragic always have my heart.

6. Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

After I read stormbringer, I was never the same again. He is actually super sweet and super down to earth. I love him so much because he is so genuine with his intentions? Also, the shit has been through man... Yet, he still chose to live and fight. I admire that so much from him.

he is also a very complex and tragic character. i love him sm bc of that... i'm sensing a pattern here.

7. Armin (Attack on Titan)

His smartass made me fall in love with him. My boy just wanted to see the sea man. I admire his bravery so much and he gets shit ton of hate too for not kissing Eren's ass but I love him so much for standing his ground and having faith in his best friend. He was lowkey psycho too tbh. Smart men>>

8. Yuuta (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Okay, something about timid guys who are lowkey psychotic always get me going. He's a cool character and he's sexy. Period.

9. Killua (Hunter x Hunter)

ALSO MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! He deserves the world 😭 He went through so much at 12 bro and I just want to take care of him so much bc he deserves to be a kid!!!!! Big brother Killua also has my heart. He's so sweet and caring and kind and genuine and UGH I LOVE HIM.

the way he just wanted a friend 😭 i'd gladly be his friend man if i were in the hxh universe. he's too sweet 😔 and he deserves sm better!!!

10. Jo March (Little Women)

I SEE MYSELF IN HER SO MUCH. The way she just wanted everything to stay the same even when change was inevitable and the people in her life ended up growing up. I love how as I watched her grow up, the traits that she had as a kid were still there yet she was slowly opening to change. I just relate to her so much and we are so alike in so many ways.

---

That's it, I think! Those were the only characters I could think of. I am so sorry if I didn't word it correctly. I suck at writing and english isn't my first language but I hope you got a gist of why I love the characters 😭 Most of the times I don't really have a deep reason for liking a certain character, they just appeal to me and I get that gut feeling that oh I think I will obsess over this little shit for the rest of my life and it's usually always correct lmao. This was fun! Thank you!

[thedeliverygod]

Repostober: Day 29

Hiyori has a wish and puts her 5 yen on Yato's shrine, but she doesn't know quite how to say it out loud when he asks about it.

Cutting Ties

She understood why Yato’s talent for cutting ties was necessary. She had seen the healing it had brought to the people that he had used it on. And yet every time he had to use it, she felt her throat close up and her hands start to shake.

It was all too easy to picture sekki pointed at her and those same words falling from his lips.

“You feeling alright? You kinda look like you’re going to be sick.”

Yato was bent over to lean in front of her face and she noticed a worried Yukine peeking out from behind him as well.

She shook her head and brushed a hand through her hair nervously, “I’m fine. Maybe just a bit tired.”

“Then don’t worry about our tutoring session today! Go home and get some rest.” Yukine stepped forward, surprising both her and Yato.

“I’m okay, really.” She raised her hand to wave him off and gave a small laugh but he only gave her a stern look in response.

“No, seriously. Go home, Hiyori. What if you are getting sick like Yato said? I don’t want you to push yourself and get worse.”

She parted her lips before giving a sigh of defeat and nodding, “Okay.”

Happy with her response, Yukine started walking forward while Yato stayed back. “He’s gotten super protective over everyone since—ya know. Anyway, I’ll check in on you later.” He gave a quick wave before running after Yukine.

The smile lingered on her face as she reflected on Yukine’s actions, but faded quickly as she kept walking and her fears sunk back in. Once she was home, she was pulled into a few chores by her parents and thankfully distracted for a small amount of time.

Alone in her bedroom, everything crashed down on her again as her eyes immediately moved towards the shrine that sat on her bedside table. Out of frustration, she dug for a five yen coin and deposited it on the shrine, ‘If it’s up to me, I won’t ever forget you. So please don’t ever consider cutting our ties. No matter what other people—other gods say. I want to be with you longer.’

She held a few fingers over the coin until she believed her willpower had truly been put into its essence before she let go to finish the prayer, clapping her hands together.

Not long after, she sat down on her bed and her phone made a loud ding to let her know that she had received a text message.

Can I come check on you?

She let out a sigh. Of course he would want to come over right now.

I guess so.

Practically as soon as she had sent the reply, he appeared in her room in a bright burst of light. “Hiya.” He greeted with a small smile before sitting next to her on the bed, concern taking over his expression, “How you feeling?”

She shrugged, not knowing how to answer, “Alright. I still don’t think I’m getting sick.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, not knowing how to answer either. Eventually his eyes slid over towards the shrine and he noticed the shine of the new coin. He reached over her to grab it, “You’ve got a new wish though, it seems.”

 Her mouth flew open as a bright red blush took over her face, “No!”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow, “You’re just randomly donating five yen to me now?”

“No! I just… I didn’t… want you to see that.” She hid her face as she took a breath.

“…But you put it on my shrine.”

“I know what I did.” She hissed back before letting out a loud groan.

“So you have a wish for me…” He tried to figure out the situation out loud, a puzzled expression, “But you don’t want me to know what it is?”

“Yes!” She answered, exasperated.

He blinked back at her, his expression unchanging.

“I know it’s stupid, okay.” She jumped up from the bed and crossed the room, unable to look at him.

She didn’t hear him get up but she felt the gentle touch of his hand at her wrist, “Any wish of yours is never stupid.”

Hiyori turned around and met his gaze, though she didn’t answer.

“My question is just, what aren’t you comfortable telling me?” He took his hand back to his side and placed it at his hip, “Knowing you, it’s probably something to help someone else.”

“No, it’s selfish.” She mumbled, looking down at her feet.

Yato scoffed, “I doubt it.”

“It is!” She raised her voice and looked up at him fiercely, “It’s something that would ask you to put my wants above many others.”

Donning a more serious expression, he took both of her hands in his and asked, “What is your wish, Hiyori?”

The tears immediately started streaming down her face and she swallowed a sob as she let out, “Don’t ever cut ties with me. No matter what Tenjin-sama says. Or Kazuma-san. Or Bishamon-san or Ebisu-san or… or anybody else.”

His eyes darkened, “Have they said anything to you?”

She shook her head, “No! No, not recently… I just, I just… I don’t want to lose you.” She grasped at his wrists as her knees started to buckle, “I… can’t stop thinking about it. When you have to do it… for other people. And I don’t—I don’t want someone else to decide what’s best for me.”

He let her fall into him and guided her down onto the floor, mostly into his lap. “We’ve been down that road before, Hiyori. And you told me that you didn’t want that. Until the day that you tell me you’ve changed your mind, I will always respect that.” He ran a hand through her hair soothingly.

She looked up at him, correcting, “I won’t ever change my mind.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about.” He dug in his jacket pocket and held out the five yen coin, “And technically I don’t need this.”

Hiyori shoved it back towards him, closing his fist, “Consider it insurance for you to keep your word.”

“I’m a little hurt that you don’t trust me, but fine.” He pocketed it again but gave a pout.

[totallyexhausted]

Tiny Noragami headcannon a because I woke up and chose violence.

Yukine getting really ill after he ignored a minor injury. He’d gotten it by doing something bad (or at least in his mind) and was too afraid to tell Yato in case he stung him.

Yukine hiding the fact that he felt horrible because his master was a busy man or dealing with everything with his father. Yukine ends up getting sick all over himself and the table, after arguing he was fine.

Yukine, having dealt with any illness on his own from his past, ends up camping out in the bathroom- too sick and feverish to move until Yato finds him.

Yato holding a feverish Yukine under the shower, trying to get the kid to relax and his fever to go down.

Yukine getting scared when one of the clients or clients kids gets rough with him- he flashes back to his dad. Either the yelling scared him or he got locked in a closet.

Yukine getting sick and passing out after reverting back. He’d tried really hard to keep his form. He wakes up to Yato carrying him back home.

Yukine having a migraine from hell and getting frustrated over some stupid problems on his homework. Yato being annoying and won’t leave him alone. After the kid the wrong answer for a fifth time (over some problem even those younger than him could figure out), he breaks down because his head hurts so much and he feels sick and he’s frustrated because Hiyori showed him how to do this problem twice.

Yukine being clingy after a nightmare or being distant and quiet after he gets scared.

Yukine getting sick while spending the night with Yato at a shrine.

Yukine getting sick while Daikoku and Kofuku throw a party downstairs. All he wants is peace and quiet but it’s hard to sleep when your master and several others are singing drunkenly downstairs.

Yukine getting sick during one of Yato’s disappearing acts. Kofuku and Daikoku try their best while they try tracking down the lazy God. Daikoku is gunna strangle him when he sees him for leaving his kid like this.

Yukine drawing a borderline between him and Kofuku or Daikoku or Yato one night when he wakes up from a nightmare sick. It takes a while for Yato to talk him out from behind the border in order to get the kid to calm down.

[kurisus]

Noragami reread: Volume 21 & 22 thoughts

The closer we get to the final chapter drop, the bigger my feeling of dread grows, and the more I have to say in terms of thoughts. So, let's talk about this helping of pain.

I honestly can't figure out the deal with Fujisaki's sister and her kids. So, like, she puts the kids in her car and drives all the way to Tokyo to visit (? take care of??? they didn't really say why she was there) her missing brother, but she can't find him. Because he is missing. She leaves these young kids in the car and goes to look for him, but the kids get bored and wander off. They run into their uncle, who's chilling in a park nearby, and he's like "hey kiddos I have a really fun game for you. Play a prank on this kid that's gonna come by. Pretend you're lost [except they really are lost] and lure him into this tunnel it'll be funny." How did he know Yukine would be there either? Because Yukine was following him? Then the mother finds her kids and loads them back in the car...I guess to go back to the countryside...and doesn't believe her kids saying they met her brother. Like, the whole thing doesn't make sense. I guess Adachitoka just wanted to bring back the sister and kids, but the setup is so weird. If anyone else has an answer, please let me know, because this stumps me.

How I would rearrange this scene is that the sister is there to take care of Fujisaki and brought her kids, but while their mother is out shopping or whatever he takes the kids out without telling her, notices Yukine tailing him, and gets them to prank him. The mother finds them in the end and scolds her brother for taking off while he's sick. Since he's not really sick, she decides to go home the next day.

Moving on, Yukine's struggles really resonate. Poor kid thinks he has a loving family waiting for him, and doesn't understand why Yato refuses to tell him anything. Nora tries to tell him off, but he dismisses her too. So when he finds Yato with Kazuma, he realizes Yato was serious about cutting his lifeline. After all Yukine did to protect him in the previous arc, as well as Kazuma being there, this feels like a personal insult. Combined with his existing insecurities about being good enough, his PTSD from the box, and the agony of his past just out of reach, he just kind of...explodes. Just like how I want to explode reading this!

On a lighter note, obsessed with how angles and speech bubbles are used to disguise Kazuma's clothes while he argues with Yato, and then Yato points out those were the clothes he'd just changed out of. Hysterical. This goes well with the scene where Yato is wearing Hiyori's old uniform, but you don't see it till Yukine calls him out.

Okay, so, the thing with Hiyori. After Kazuma told her to fuck off, she tried to convince herself to stay home, but this resolution ends when she spots trash dad flying around and smiling. Thanks to this encounter, her cord is damaged, leading to it being broken later and enabling her to become a shinki. Upon the reread, I can see why it was important for her to be injured here--so that she doesn't run after Yato--but I'm still grumpy about the cord thing...and then she just runs after him the following volume anyway. Maybe if she was just injured, and the cord was intact...not sure. Like I said, grumpy.

Rereading volume 21 also made me realize another minor hangup I have with the ending is how much time we devote to Yato and Kazuma training together, and later fighting together, only for Kazuma to ultimately not to be the one to bring Father down. He weakened him, sure, but this partnership didn't amount to much outside of additional angst. I may adjust this feeling depending on how the remaining volumes go, but like I've said I don't like the Hiyori shinki thing so maybe Kazuma should've been the one to kill him. idk. He wronged Hiyori more, but [thrashes]

Nora saying to Yukine "your god is not your dad" pains me because he follows this by saying "if I was his actual kid, he wouldn't have left me" and then learning his parents DID abandon him--combined with projecting Yato as his father figure, this leads to him turning on Yato. His father is the one who leaves him, no matter who it is, no matter the reason.

There is also the fact that because of Nora (and Father telling her to), Yukine knows that gods know their pasts. Yato won't tell him anything--and hey, there's someone right here who's promising to do just that! Surrendering your name is fine, because the one who gave it to you betrayed you. The writing around this is so layered and complex and also I am deeply pained.

Switching gears to the Hiyori chapter. The conversation between her and her grandma takes on an interesting new context in light of recent events, and I wanna talk about it. The grandma is ready to die, but Hiyori doesn't want her to, because she'll never see her family again. Her grandma says that's a good point, but she'd rather be with the one she loves most, and urges Hiyori to do the same, before it's too late. But what's interesting is...Hiyori doesn't follow her advice. She does go off after Yato, because she knows her presence is needed to resolve things between him and Yukine, but what's crucial here is that at the funeral, seeing her crying mother reminds her that no matter what she has to come back home. So she's running off in a reckless move, but it's not because she has a death wish. She ALWAYS intended to come back, after helping with something very important. Plus, it was her grandma's time. Hiyori is young.

Overall, chapter 85 really highlights the foil between Hiyori and Nora. Here we have a "fake little girl" who was never given the chance to be a real human, and here is a real human girl who has a loving family, yet isn't doing things that most human girls do. The scary, scaly water creature is jealous of the ailing human girl, who is so unwell she can barely walk. Crying forever

Nora tells Hiyori that Yukine must have been killed before he was put in the fridge, because she has a more charitable view of his end, but Hiyori knows the truth--that he was buried alive. She puts it into words as we gaze at the empty coffin, and I just...god. god. Top 10 most gutting moments of Noragami.

In general reading about Yukine's past makes me want to die. The way his hope gets gradually crushed, all thanks to trash dad.

Discord reactions:

[In the last screenshot, the speech bubbles on the second panel read "So he leaves me masterless, or he throws me out. What's the difference?"]

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Holistar Miku director's commentary under the cut el oh el

While most of the inspiration came from the last two chapters of Hatoful Boyfriend Holiday Star (duh) I did find myself taking a bit of inspiration from some pre-existing Mikus, these being 2021 Magical Mirai Miku, 2015 Snow Miku, and her Infinity module from Project Diva.

The hair was the part that took the longest to draw, I had to be really conscious about how the parts overlapped as while I had some stylistic restrictions, I wanted it to look 3D. I think I did an okay job.

Her hair holders were originally going to be stars but I worried they'd look too generic (also the design had tonnes of stars already), and I thought the eggs were thematically appropriate (and looked sick as hell with the king heads spilling out).

I got the idea for the crowns on her hair from Harmony Splatoon. Enough said.

The stars are meant to mimic holographic glitter/sequins because I'm obsessed with those things.

She originally had a third smaller eye under her red one akin to my hc King design (these three eyes also represent the 3 gemstones btw) but her face felt too cluttered with it.

Her pupils are supposed to be egg shaped but idk how well it came across ;-;

The eyelashes are meant to tie into the crown motif seen elsewhere but they kind of give her a Matryoshka/Peleda vibe. I'm okay with this.

The capelet was calling out to me from somewhere that I didn't get until after I drew it, and then a day or so later I figured out I got the idea from Nageki's advent calendar art.

The jewel on the ribbon was originally a topaz, but I made it some sort of blue one instead as it worked with the design better.

Her shirt has a collar under the capelet btw. If I ever make a ref sheet I'll point that out.

The skirt had a few different designs. At first it was red and fur lined like the cape, then it resembled a lighthouse, and then I decided to stick with the skirt seen here. I think it's my favourite part of the design tbh.

The reverse gradient on the sleeve and tights are meant to represent how the night on the Holiday Star swings like a pendulum, also having the gradients go the same way looked weird.

It's not pictured here, but her character item is 100% a picture book.

EDIT (21/04/23) Some things I forgot:

I got the idea for scattering the stars throughout her hair from Dokutsuki of Broken Bottles fame (I really need to finish that game...).

I don't usually colour in eyelashes (if I even add them at all) but I really loved how Miku's eyelashes look in the music video for Common World Domination, and seeing as I had that song (along with a few other of PinocchioP's) on loop while designing/drawing her it only felt right to include.

Inspired by all the fan designed Snow Miku's I'd seen a month or so before drawing her, I nearly gave her some sort of animal companion. I was torn between a quail and some sort of holistar-themed Yukine (even though she's not meant to be a snow miku) but in the end I didn't give her anything as I couldn't choose in time.

On that note however I think it would be kind of funny (even if it's a little grim) if her "twintails" could move in a way similar to that of the snakes that make up a gorgon's hair.

[spuddy-potat]

anyway im thinking of that one entry from the wiki that points out how gods are directly and physically impacted by the emotional state of their shinki and how they literally feel sick when one of their shinki is under distress......... what im saying is that the first few months that yato had yukine must have brought just. ungodly amounts of pain and sickness, all on top of the blight... i really wish the anime had the time to focus more on it like the manga did because that shit is SO DELICIOUS to watch

like i literally cant stop thinking about the implication of him lying on the bench like this for HOURS while yukine was dealing with the little girl ayakashi...... FUCK.

everyone say thank you to manga yato for giving us so many descriptions of how much pain he was in and how unwell he felt

been rewatching noragami as i finish reading the manga series and i stg its awakening some deep repressed whump feelings because..... god........ the yato whump has absolutely taken over my brain lately hes all i can think about

legit this panel lives in my brain rent free..... wtf.........

[deepseawave]

[mokkemusic]

Ami had something very important to say in her latest Norgami catch up texts to me.

@eggconfidence it’s ok it’s ok these were exactly my thoughts too. It’s ok to feel this Ami 🤧👌🏻