#sick to my stomach so have some doodles

[bubbiethesaur]

Fancy

[risingsunresistance]

if we're mutuals and i unfollow suddenly and you happen to take notice of it, please do not take it personally i still love my friends n whatnot i am just. getting very tired and need to cut down the mcyt content on my dash

and if i unfollow and refollow a couple times that is just me testing the waters jdhfj idk what i wanna do man i just have to do something for my mental health

[justasecretflower]

🥀Hello, I saw you’re eyeless Jack Dating before he was sacrificed. If you wouldn’t mind could you do Toby Rogers- before He went coo coo for cocoa puffs and Slenderman basically stole him. 😭😂 Please and thank you hope you have a good day. 🤍

I LOVE THIS REQUEST SM🤍

🥀- Dating Ticci Toby! Before he became a proxy!

~fluff, set before the accident:)

I won’t be able to post everyday, sadly. Since I’m starting school I’m also gonna start cooking club, national honour society then tennis:(. But please keep requesting I will not stop posting completely:).

____________________________________________

- you noticed Toby’s golden heart at first, how much he got bullied, everything in his life, yet he remained to have a soft expression.

- At first, he thought you were pranking him when you gave him the note, your cheeks flush. But when he looked at the note and thought it was a prank he didn’t miss the hurt on your face.

________________________________________

Toby’s dark hazel eyes scan the note, some tics jerking his neck and making him restart reading the note. Thinking it’s some sick joke, as if anyone like you would like anyone like him, his eyes narrow and he practically spits at you. “L- Let me guess. T-this was a sick joke w-wasn’t it?” He says seriously, his tics making him stutter a bit but his tone remained hurt, aggravated, and angry, all of the bullying he received callousing his heart and making him firmly believe that no one would even spare him a second glance. Your eyes fill with hurt and your stomach plunges from rejection, a little embarrassed and let down your voice shakes. “No it’s not. I really like you.” Toby softened a bit at your tone but then hardened again “you don’t know me.” You were fed up. Can’t he see you actually like him for him? “But I want to.” Toby’s mouth shuts and he shoves his hands in his pockets of his black hoodie and nods. “I’ll have my sister pick you up so we can go to the movies or something Friday..” he says reluctantly, still a little convinced that you wouldn’t ever like him.

_________________________________________

- his sister, Lyra, was absolutely glowing when you entered the car, sticking her hand out almost immediately and smiling widely, no one had taken her brother out before, not even giving him respect. So she was over the moon.

- you talked with Lyra a bit, and then turned your attention towards Toby, who was looking at you with softest, most affectionate filled earthy green eyes ever. Sparkling gently. It was like he lit up when he finally realised you were serious, not only serious but getting along with his sister.

- during the movie, you tried very very slowly to grab his hand. He immediately tensed and gasped a tiny bit. But only 20 minutes later he reached out, first with his pinky and then his whole, shaky, scarred hand.

- when you intertwined your fingers, Toby was convinced he never felt more happy, he didn’t even watch the rest of the movie, he was focused on you.

-how your features glowed in the dim light, how you smiled during a happy moment, or gently did your [enter your nervous fidget.] when a tense part came up.

____________________________________________

-when he’s tired of everything going on in his house he’ll bike ride or walk over to your house and taps on the window just to hold you.

- he’ll pull your waist in with his arms and bury his face in your shoulder. Gently kissing it sweetly mumbling “my y/n”

-genuinely wants to cry of happy tears whenever you defend him from bullies.

- finger tip kisses.

-while you two are sitting across from each other in somewhere public, or holding each other in the quiet night, he lifts your intertwined hands, frees your hand and gently kisses your fingertips.

-he can’t really buy you any gifts but he certainly makes you tiny doodles on sticky notes to put in your locker or room.

- his eyes got misty when you first told him you loved him.

-you got him a gold heart locket with your picture in it and yourself one with his picture. He never takes it off and kisses it whenever he misses you.

-late night talks on the rooftop, stargazing, after he ran to your house again in the middle of the night.

-You’re his angel; his light, the love of his life. He can’t stop the thoughts of running away with you whenever he looks at your pretty smile or hears your heavenly laugh.

- “My sweet y/n” “my y/n” “Angel”

-your first kiss is when you two were stargazing, the sweetest, most affectionate kiss ever. Putting your foreheads together first, lacing your fingers, then finally meeting for a soft kiss.

-he runs to you if he sees you in the hallways.

-so, in theory…Toby..💪

____________________________________________

Thanks for reading! I love all of your requests btw🤍.

Tags

[miifu666]

We know sukuna's a huge hater for Yuuji right? But theres a saying around my country where "you shouldn't hate someone TOO MUCH or else fate will always unite u with them."

Or sum like "don't hate someone too much, it'll turn to love."

<<<<<<♡>>>>>>>

Imagine a happy ending Sukuna, one where he genuinely decided to be in a loving and domestic household with you. He saw what the jujutsu world can do, both ancient and modern, Gojo has provenly showed him a thrilling time by being the one and almost only person to make him feel the life and death situation in such a predictable battle.

He got to meet the plentiful talented sorcerers in the modern world, one where they have far more advanced knowledge in how life works than those in the heian era. The new sorcerers didn't disappoint him too much. Some managed to learn innate domain expansion in a mere second, others didn't have any curse energy yet managed to hurt him more than those who do. He's seen it all, he feels content.

Hence why he made a choice to have his own happy ending, see where life gets him after his "unsavory" conversation with his fated nephew. The tangy memories of that boy's bright smile hearing sukuna giving him a chance to show him how beautiful life can be, even if deep within. Theres a dreaded feeling whenever he sees that gullible boy, a fire pit inside him whenever he realized how innocent his so called "nephew" is for believing someone like him can be saved too.

Sukuna thought back idly, coming back to his senses as he feels your hair being combed through his fingers in a consistent motion. He wonders if maybe that annoying brat is right, he has a dutiful lover now. One who he feels as though wouldn't have been his if he didn't accept that despicable brat's decision.

The warm feeling of the sun hitting both him and his equal is... a blissful feeling. He used to be empty, seeking thrill from both knowledge and greed of such delicacies, humans, animals.. all he could find and devour till his stomach is full. All knowledgeable for such sorcery to make sure he stays the top, to see if someone is there to fight and able to defeat him on top of the lonely world of the strongest.

Now he's sitting here, the daunting feeling of such title no longer haunts him. Theres no one who can use him like an object, to fight and treat him like a game boss, speak his name like an object to defeat, disregard him as something worth less than humanity and curses, a natural calamity. Inside this prosperous Minka, he is just sukuna. Hes not the starving child, ostracized from society, being stripped bare of his real birth given name.

He's now.. Sukuna.

The husband and father of... currently one brat.

Speaking of a brat.

There's hustling noises of running feet ontop of the well cared grass, the thumping of something- no. Someone not much older than 5 years old.

"Papa!"

There he is.

"I got butterflies!!"

The small brat he managed to raise. The one and only child he has, a miracle. He was tempted to call him "megumi" too actually- but he's too prideful to use a rip off of someone elses name. He created his own, he hoped. This child doesn't get sick from bearing the weight of his own name.

"Those are Dragonflies, Yajou"

Yajou, a combination of both the kanji for appearance and fulfillment. A perfect name for one who completes the boundaries between human and curses.

Although...

Sukuna stared at his son again. His face is much more similar to a certain brat than him. His bright and naive eyes, those unopened set of eyes under his proper main ones, the tufs of pink hair on top while his lover's natural hair decorated the sides. Its all too familiar, he hates it. He hates having a split image of his disgusting nephew in this... fleshy and chonky baby form.

"Free! Free dragon!"

The child babbles out, spreading his hands out to let the Dragonfly leave his fleshy touch. It was... cute, adorable even. Sukuna sigh.

This.. is a funny way of fate telling him to learn his lesson.

>>>♡♡<<<

God i had this thought at 1am i did NOT proof reading this i just fucking wing it brooooooo. Hope its good ig djdhdjjdkd

Yajou Doodles♡

[zorosbeau33]

Make him melt~ MHA/BNHA Fatgum Headcanon

Pairing: Fatgum x gender neutral headcanon Anime: Boku no hero academia/My hero academia WC: 588 Tw: Brief mention of mental health Masterlist~

He is such a sucker for when your stomach growls because something he’s eating smells amazing~ 

He would give the entire tray/platter/table to you but after so long of dating he realizes that you cannot physically eat as much as him and so he stops pushing

Will blush, he just thinks it's so cute “You don’t even need to ask, just take as much as you want!” You get all the food thief privileges.

Will actually swoon if you get embarrassed about your stomach growling or try to deny that you want some

Has a list of your favorites on his phone he keeps adding to, on which snacks made your eyes light up

Does not actually want you to supply food for him

He feels guilty, it's expensive and he eats so much it's impossible sometimes for pro chefs to keep up he would feel he is burdening you

Does like if you make him things for special occasions or because it was something you made for you and wanted to share for him THAT makes his eyes tear up in fact

If you insist on cooking full time for him just expect him to hover and have sad puppy eyes 

He loves when you both get a hankering for the same snack and try to learn to make it together. The gift of that quality time, even if its sparse due to his job, is the happiest times of his life

You coming around his job to “help” 

He is big bro and dad to so many sidekicks and heroes, so seeing you come around and be a ray of light to people he cares about just…god he falls in love all over again

You comforting a sidekick who is having a rough day mentally, he just wants to wrap you both up in a blanket

He has slipped up and called you their mom/dad before “Okay boys enough your mom/dad needs a rest-” he wanted to die of embarrassment that day

Coming back from a mission to you making hot chocolate for everyone, or lemonade depending on the season made him bounce over and crush you in a hug. He wanted to propose on the spot 

His clothes

You wearing one of his spare (massive) hoodies and curling up to listen to a briefing? Oh thank god for Kirishima because he was such a love sick puppy he couldn’t look away from you

Leaving little love notes or doodles in his pockets to find when he's on patrol? He has kept every single one. Aside from the rare few that got destroyed due to his job getting to crazy 

Kissing his forehead

He's probably already sitting when this happens, but be careful he may jump to his feet the first few times

He turns the color of Kirishima’s hair, heart racing in his chest

You may as well have proposed, because all he can hear after is wedding bells

If you tell him “Good boy” before doing it its a straight k.o

He is trembling heart eyed mess, he will scoop you up for a much needed hug and crush you into his chest until his heartbeat calms back down

Your sneeze

Yes he is embarrassed about it, but when you sneeze no matter how loud, or quiet, or sickly-he just becomes a puddle

It's so endearing to him. You deserve the warmest hug or longest kiss after. After he’s done giggling and teasing you for being adorable that is.

[ksnfangz]

EPISODE TWO — POLYAMOROUS COUPLE?

karaoke invites, date or no date?, hot basketball players and a jealous, jealous, jealous boysssss

You beam at the boy's note, fully content with the fact that the boy hadn't immediately shut you down. You chose to ignore the slight dig at your studying habits. Sunoo silently judged your giddiness as you smiled down at the crumbled piece of paper as if it were gold. " So I take it he's joining us tonight." Sunoo says currently doodling on his hand with a pen.

" Well not exactly! but he didn't say no." you replied tucking the note into your desk. " So are we supposed to wait all night to see if he shows up." Sunoo scoffs "Why couldn't he just give you a straight answer"

You shrug not at all bothered by Jungwon's indecisiveness you were just happy that he seems to be considering coming. Speaking of coming Sunghoon finally enters the class. "Rigged I tell you!" the boy shouts earning stares from his fellow classmates. " Hiw did Riki already make the basketball team when I've been trying to join since last year?" Sunghoon rants as he plops himself down into his seat. " I mean it isn't fair that he can just come into the school and already be a valued player!"

It was true, Sunghoon had been trying to join pretty much every sports team that the school had to offer, and the only one that gave him a chance was hockey since the boy was a very skilled ice skater, but Hoon complained about how he didn't want to turn a personal hobby into something competitive. Which you understood, but why the hell is he so obsessed with basketball all of a sudden?

" Maybe he's just as good as Heeseung and Jungwon! like Nabi said the other day." You claimed. " 1. Heeseung cannot be topped! I heard he's never missed a shot! 2. Jungwon is a team manager, not a player and Nabi never mentioned him." Sunghoon exclaims.

"There's no way he’s never missed..."

" That's so hot ."

" excuse me." You and sunghoon shout in unison.

"While I agree that Jungwon is hot I prefer to use the terms cute! or Handsome." you explain only to be waved off by Sunoo.

" I think basketball players are hot! especially Lee Heeseung and I wasn't referring to Jungwon he's like my brother." Sunoo says defensively. " I'm gonna go to the bathroom before class starts, be right back."

Sunghoon frowns. His eyes watched as Sunoo exited the classroom he knew the boy hadn’t really been feeling well today. Jealousy builds within the boy's stomach as he recalls sunoo’s earlier words. " You know what, I'm gonna be the best damn player on the team!" he states firmly.

“ dream on hoonie!”

"have either of you seen Ni-ki? he usually joins me for study hall but he wasn't there today." You ask approaching Sunghoon and Jungwon at their lunch table. Throwing your bag down without care not giving the two any time to respond as you rant about Sunoo leaving school early because he was sick. Which ultimately resulted in being alone and bored for most of the day when you weren’t with Sunghoon or Ni-ki.

Speaking of Ni-ki, over the past week, you had grown quite friendly with the Japanese boy. Sometimes help him study his Korean while he teaches you and Sunghoon how to play basketball and some Japanese. Though you’re positive he’s only taught you both curse words so far. Sunghoon recently received a detention after saying hello to his teacher is Japanese.

When the two boys shake their heads in response to your previous question a pout forms on your lips as you finally sit down at the table. “ I even brought him some Bungeoppang he says his mom used to make it all the time.” you say pulling out a small plastic container and grabbing one of the fish-shaped pastries for yourself.

“ you really can’t be away from him for an hour?” Jungwon asks his tone coming off a bit harsher than he expected. You look up at the boy confusedly before a teasing smile creeps onto your face.

“Aww is my jungwonie jealous? Don’t worry I have not given up on you yet! Ni-ki is my friend, I always miss my friends” you shrug ignoring the way Sunghoon rolls his eyes at your persistent flirting.

“ t-that’s not what– I’m not jealous … whatever.” Jungwon mumbled stuffing rice into his mouth hoping that the burning sensation in his cheeks came from the steam.

“ y/n-chan~” said an all too low voice.

“ Ni-ki! where were you? you skipped study hall you know you could get into real trouble for that.” You scold pulling the male to sit next to you. “ For your information, I was with the basketball coach he gave me an official schedule! we have a game coming up soon and I want you guys to be there.” Ni-ki says gesturing to the group. “ oh and Sunoo too, if he’s feeling better by then.”

“ We would love to come cheer on our star player! right hoonie?” You smile hugging Ni-ki's arm, Sunghoon sending you a knowing glare before agreeing to come. “ what about you jungwonie?”

“ I’m team manager I have to be there y/n.” Jungwon states coldly eyes locked into the way your arms are wrapped around the male next to you. “ Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Well, I’ll make sure to text Sunoo and let him know.” you nod mostly to yourself letting go of Ni-ki to offer him the BUNGEOPPANG you’d made for him.

“ Also Ni-ki we’re going to karaoke tonight! you should join us.” You say once again catching Jungwon's attention.

so it isn’t a double date …

“ As much as I would love to I have some studying to catch up on and my dad wants me to practice more.” Ni-ki replies politely declining the invite. You and Sunghoon groan in annoyance. “ come on Ni-ki you’ve practiced enough.” Sunghoon claimed with a mouth full of rice.

“ Exactly ~ all you’ve been doing is practicing and studying ever since you got here let’s have some fun.” You whine dramatically.

You were technically correct. When he wasn’t with you he was usually in the library studying or in the gym with his father. Also, the way you were currently looking at him and holding his hand made him want to immediately accept your offer, so he did. One missed practice couldn’t hurt.

“ Fine it’s a date, but you owe me! I’m gonna get in huge trouble for this.” the boy said taking some of the rice from your untouched plate. “ That’s okay if someone tries to scold you send them my way… I know a guy.” you whisper into the boy's ear causing him to laugh.

“ wait does that make us an official polyamorous couple?” Sunghoon asks earning a stare from the pair across from him. “ What he’s the one who called the group hangout a date yet I’m weird for wanting more reassurance on our relationship status?” Sunghoon exclaims lifting his hands in defense.

“ as if you’d ever let Sunoo near another man.”

“ says the girl who hasn’t let Ni-ki go since he got here.”

The sound of silverware clattering pulls your attention to the male across from you. Said male quickly dismissed himself leaving the table without another word. “ What’s up with him?” Ni-ki questions.

“ That’s just how he is you know. Kinda like an angry cat.” Sunghoon claims. “ A cute angry cat.” you correct.

“ here she goes again.” Sunghoon sighs. “ You know some people say i also look like a cat.” Ni-ki adds before the table falls silent.

prev . masterlist . next

a/n : sorry for slow updates and sorry for this shitty chapter!! school is kicking my ass as usual, it’s end of the year exam/ test season. || sorry for any spelling / grammar errors i’ll edit this later. enjoy!

Tag list : @aloloveswonie @soobs-things @yerisrev @gudkc @wonitten @jwonistic @kangseulgithegreat @icepshrince @hizhu @nyfwyeonjun comment or send ask to be added :) !! if your name is not tagged it means i wasn’t able to tag ur user, please check ur settings!

©KSNFANGZ. please do not plagiarise, repost, copy or translate any of my works without permission!

[moondaepuppy]

actor au!Debut or die

(I love actor au's, so here's my brain rot)

(During the audition process) Ahyeon wanting to ask moondae for a hug after his audition scene with him (because he's a fan!!)but doesn't because he worries it would be weird/make moondae uncomfortable (meanwhile moondae knowing he wants to ask for something and waiting for him to bring it up~), then ahyeon regrets not asking because he thinks there's no way he's getting the role. But he does???!!!! Then at the script reading he finally asks, but for a handshake, but ends up admitting he wanted a hug, so moondae, mid hand-shake, pulls him in for a hug.

(Also: moondae watching ayheon's dance audition tape numerous times.)

Eugene getting banned from the snack table within the first days of filming

Everyone turning up to watch moondae's solo scenes, even if they're not scheduled on set

Having to do far too many takes of moondae's pop*con audition scene because people's laughter kept ruining the take and moondae kept breaking character (the judges reactions were real)

[Lee Sejin's vlog of the BTS of the pop*con filming going viral]

(the pop*con choreo was made by moondae, with some help from ahyeon. Sejin was there also but moondae threw him out of the rehearsal room)

Gunwoo having a cold exterior and seeming unapproachable but his personality is an actual puppy, while moondae is vice versa. The two get along well, the cast and crew joke that maybe they really did swap bodies

Eugene and Sejin pranking the rest of the cast

[Image of Shin Jaehyun with his arm on the back of park moondae's chair during the script read-through.]

The crew watching in awed silence during cheongryeo/moondae scenes (novel readers you know) because the intensity/tension and chemistry is insane. The two just feed off each other so well. Jaehyun also tends to improv a lot in the moment, in ways that may be surprising but work so good. It drives moondae crazy (the control freak haha), but he's always good at staying in character (aside from the one exception 🍿😂) . Jaehyun is usually pretty chill but around moondae his mischievous side is drawn out ~

(also Raebin watching with sparkle eyes, because he's a fanboy of Shin Jaehyun)

That time Kim Raebin (wearing a face mask) was lost and mistaken for an intern and ended up carrying around everyone's coffee because it felt too impolite to say no and then the timing to say something never came. (It wasn't until Eugene came looking for him that people realised.)

On-set, Eugene asking moondae and ahyeon to explain certain words/phrases in the script he's unfamiliar with. His scripts will have notes in their handwriting dotted throughout.

Eugene doodles in his script and others. (Bae sejin secretly likes this, and 'accidentally' leaves his script near Eugene sometimes haha)

That time ahyeon almost burnt down his van trying to make food (the crew left a sign on his stove: 'AHYEON. NO.')

During scenes where they're eating, the director would worry abt Eugene because he eats a lot (he has the same appetite as his character) (and they have to do multiple takes) but the crew quickly realised they needn't waste their energy. (Director: "Eugene, really, don't eat so much during the scene! You'll make yourself sick!" *Eugene pouting, the cast laughing* Lee Sejin: "There's no need to worry, Eugene's stomach is the endless abyss haha~" and then later→ director, stern, ignoring those puppy dog eyes: "Eugene! You have one pizza limit for this scene! I mean it! We can't go over budget!" *Eugene pouts, until the cast give him their leftovers* (this makes it into the final cut).

[clip from bts, director interview: "Lee Sejin is very professional while working, as long as you keep him away from moondae." (Cut to lee sejin who is laying on the floor, crying from laughing, while moondae is stood next to him. "Director, please change the script to me killing him." (Off-screen) "My answer is still no, moondae."]

[aeneakarts]

‼️ EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN ‼️

I have my current situation all explained after the cutoff but to put it short, my younger brother has been hospitalized for sudden lung complications and I am across the country away from family trying to finish my final year in college. Tuition + medical bills in America is an absolute nightmare for a barely middle-class family so I am trying to help my family by opening commissions!! Reblogs are very much appreciated <33

All commissions in my carrd are open, from pixels to digital to animated items. If there is something you would like that isn't listed on the carrd (such as ref sheets, customs, phone wallpaper, badges, etc), feel free to inquire about it and I can get you a quote. I am quite desperate and would honestly consider doing nsfw commissions as well for an additional 50% of the original price. Payment will be through ko-fi/paypal!

Carrd with commission prices: https://neacomms.carrd.co/#

Trello for commission updates: https://trello.com/b/pX0vbAXb/owed-art

Contact: Feel free to send me a dm here on tumblr but I would much appreciate if you are able to instead contact me on [Toyhouse]. Feel free to also send me a friend request on discord @/Aeneak if you prefer that as well. My carrd lists my email for contact as well but do note that you might get a delayed response there.

Donations: If you would rather just leave a donation (trust me when I say even $1 can go a long way) feel free to send what you can/are willing to spend through my ko-fi or Paypal. Note that my ko-fi is able to process credit/debit/and other forms of payment as well!! <3

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/aeneakarts

https://ko-fi.com/aeneak

If you are reading this then thank you for taking the time to do so, it is more than I could ever ask for <33

So just yesterday on Sept. 4th it felt like any other normal day, I get to my dorm to video call family and instead of seeing my parents at home, I see them both in tears as my younger brother is laid in a hospital bed with tubes and oxygen and wires from several medical devices coming out of him. He had a normal morning but as he was dropped off to class he started to have chest pains, not one hour later he had to get picked up from school and soon enough he was rushed to the ER. After some xrays the doctors had said there were some holes in his right lung which had collapsed and had been giving him complications in breathing properly and gave him severe pain. He spent the night in the hospital, and earlier today he was taken for surgery to get a pump installed to help him breathe and get his body to recover and heal. I am so so thankful that things are going smoothly but he will be in bed in the hospital for the next several days, my mom is with him just about every second possible and my dad has also taken the week off of work to spend as much with them as possible. I am stuck across the country barely starting my year in college and have no way home, the best I can do is continue my studies but with no current income, I am opening commissions to work on between classes. I have been here the past two days since I found out about this news absolutely sick to my stomach unable to eat/rest properly trying to go through my day as normally as possible. I am Hispanic so my family is very close-knit and they mean the absolute world to me, especially my brother who has always been by my side and we do just about everything together, hell, he would always look up to me for everything and has been inspired to dabble in art because he saw me doodling all the time.

We still do not know why this happened suddenly, they tell us it can be common for athletes especially those who push their bodies to the limits, but my brother does not do any kind of sports. He is not unfit either, he is the healthiest person I know and always watches what he eats, so to have this suddenly happen was completely out of the blue. My parents will stay with him in the hospital for the next 5 nights until he can hopefully be released to recover at home. During this period we are not getting any income and with everything that's happened so far, the medical bill is going to be a nightmare.

If you are unable to send in a commission request/donation please do not worry, everyone is going through their own struggles and I completely understand, take care of yourselves first!!

A reblog is always very much appreciated to help spread the word but regardless, if you've made it this far thank you so so much for reading everything, I hope you all are having a wonderful day/night and if not, I truly hope things get better for you soon! Please take care and remember to drink water <3

[kzlove]

weak

syn -> in which armin's immune system is so weak, he doesn't realize when he actually needs to be taken care of.

not much to beware of...

~

it was around 9:30 in the morning when you received a message from your boyfriend's best friend and roommate.

[9:30am] eren j. : hey i jus wanna lyk that armin is sick [9:31am] eren j : he also specifically told me not to tell u [9:31am] eren j : but he also looks like complete shit [9:32am] eren j : can u come over? i have class nd have to help my mom w/ a few things, so i won't b back till late tn [9:33am] eren j. : knowing his weak ass, he'll prob pass out or throw up all over the place w/o assistance

that was all you needed to know to make your way over to their house.

eren met you half way to give you armin's keys to the house since he really wouldn't need it.

so when you made it into the house with your things, the first thing you heard was a horrible sounding cough.

it quite literally sounded as though he was up in his room dying.

you grimaced at the sound and took your shoes off, making your way upstairs to his room with your bag.

you knocked on armin's door and waited patiently.

"eren. go. away. i'm fine." armin demanded, shuffling in what sounded like his bed.

you opened the door and peaked in, seeing armin tucked under many layers of blankets.

"well don't come in you- fucking dumbass." armin groaned quietly, sneezing in the middle of his sentence.

"if i don't then how will i help you?" you asked, walking into the room and closing the door.

armin peaked out from under the covers, before groaning and tossing his head back onto the pillow.

you don't miss how he began cursing his best friend out under his breath.

"min, i thought you told me you were okay?" you asked, placing your bag down and opening it.

"i am. it's just a small cold." armin muttered, glaring at you.

armin always used the excuse of having a small cold.

it was understandable that he had a very weak immune system, but it was almost always worse than a small cold.

"babe i can hear you wheezing." you chuckled, grabbing the nebulizer you had brought with you.

you plugged it in and put the mask over his face, helping him sit up in his bed properly.

"this is unnecessary." armin glared at you once more, before closing his eyes.

you ignored him, turning on the machine and letting the noise fill your ears.

once you could see the smoke coming out, you began cleaning up all the tissues he had lingering around the room.

as well as the cough drop wrappers hanging around here and there.

you dumped them all in the garbage downstairs, before looking over at the huge container on the counter.

a note stuck to it, saying 'eat plenty of soup and get well soon -love mama jaeger' with a little doodle on the corner.

you hummed and smiled a bit, before making your way upstairs back to your unwell boyfriend.

when you made it back into the room, the machine was still on and armin looked even more upset.

you turned the machine off and helped it over his head, smiling sweetly at him.

he sent you a sarcastic smile in return.

"god- armin would it kill you to be appreciative?" you groaned, sitting on his desk chair.

"i didn't ask for this." armin groaned mockingly, nose entirely too stuffed.

you stifled a laugh at the sound of his voice.

"you don't have to ask for it. it comes with the service." you sighed, digging through his desk drawer.

armin mocked you silently, before beginning to cough violently into his elbow.

you frowned, before turning over to him and holding a bottle of dayquill in your hands.

when he finished, you poured some of the liquid into the medicine cap and placed it onto the desk.

"did you eat today?" you asked, standing up and stretching.

"nuh uh. went to the bathroom and fuckin passed out." armin frowned, rolling onto his stomach and sighing.

that must explain why eren actually texted you this time around.

he wasn't just saying possible situations when he said armin might pass out in the house taking care of himself.

you frowned and felt his forehead. he was burning up.

"i'm gonna get you some soup. eren's mom made it." you said kissing your index and middle finger before pressing it onto his nose.

armin buried his head into his pillow, red dusting over his cheeks.

you smiled at him, and went downstairs to heat the soup up on the stove.

it was pretty warm, so you could assume eren had heated it up before he left for class.

when it was hot enough, you put some in a small bowl and took it back upstairs to armin's room.

his was half asleep in his bed, now rolled onto his back with his hand over his light happy trail.

"babe." you called, pulling the chair over to his bed, and placing the soup on the nightstand.

armin let out a quiet hum of acknowledgement, looking over at you with tired blue eyes.

"come eat a bit." you said, holding up the spoon to his mouth.

armin let out a small grin, before opening his mouth and drinking the soup slowly.

you rolled your eyes and put the spoon back into the bowl, handing him the small cup with medicine in it.

after downing the medicine, armin let out a dramatic gagging noise and groaned, before tossing the cup into a unknown corner.

you sighed, crossing your arms and looking at him.

armin looked back at you and shot you a woozy smile. "instinct." he replied smoothly.

you rolled your eyes and got another spoonful of soup, pressing it to his lips.

he swallowed it with a hum, before looking at you. "can i have a dumpling? then i think i'm done." armin said.

you gave him a piece of the dumpling in the soup and watch as he hummed in content.

"thank you." armin muttered, rolling onto his stomach and nuzzling into his blanket.

after a bit, he sniffled and you noticed he was trembling.

"min are you crying?" you asked, wondering if you should take the blanket off his head.

"no! just cold." armin protested, breaking out into coughs and wheezes almost immediately after.

you sighed and tucked the blanket over him properly, turning off his fan.

almost immediately, armin was out like a light.

~

for the rest of the day, you took care of armin.

you helped him bathe, eat, and monitored him when he wanted to get up and take a short walk around the house.

he claimed he had to stretch out his legs or 'he'd become short again'.

you were sure armin had just wanted to have an arm around you, but you agreed nonetheless.

while the two were walking around in the living room, the front door opened and in came eren.

"hey. you look better than earlier, armin." eren said, flashing his best friend a smile.

"fuck you, you fuckin snitch." armin scoffed, coughing into his elbow.

eren rolled his eyes and tossed his bag onto the couch, sticking his middle finger up at him.

"you should be happy i called. you look so much better." eren said, gesturing to his face.

armin rolled his eyes, muttering 'i could've gotten better on my own time' to himself.

eren chuckled and took a seat, turning on the tv and digging through his bag. "ma said to feel better. here." eren muttered, before pulling out a brown bag.

armin took it from him and peaked inside, before smiling.

it was a fresh container of soup and those little noodle chips along with it.

"your mom is so amazing ." armin muttered, popping open the container and beginning to eat the soup already.

eren mocked him and rolled his eyes, flipping through the screen.

"you have enough energy to watch power with me?" eren asked, looking at his best friend.

"fuck yeah i do. sit baby." armin sniffled, patting the seat next to him.

eren had pressed play on the latest episode, getting comfortable on the long end of the couch.

in the middle of the show, armin let out a loud sneeze, followed by loud coughs.

"ew. take that shit upstairs." eren groaned, looking towards his best friend with fake disgust.

armin said nothing, just reached his hand out to wipe his snot on eren's arm.

the male screeched in disgust, launching himself over the side of the couch and glaring at armin.

"what the fuck?!" eren questioned, wiping the snot off and flicking it back on armin.

of course, wiping the excess off on armin's cheek.

armin huffed and stood up, before coughing dead in eren's face

they were both definitely going to be sick and exhausted by tomorrow morning, you were sure of it.

[derangedanomaly]

AHHH GOING TO SCREAM yugioh anon back cuz its the weekend and oh my heart i adore horror stuff sm <333 now bc i am obsessed with blade and need to kiss him on his little forehead ya get some deadly obsessive blade :3 (blade is vv jd “meant to be yours” inspired)

tw: murder !! vv unhealthy relationship !! angsty as hell !! putting eyes in jars level of gore !! you still love him in the end but uhm. hm.

Making a sound here would be death. Calling for Chaos wouldn’t fix anything either, he’s out and you made the mistake of staying. The others made it clear they’re neutral with whatever he wants with you. Despite your mental scolding, tears well up in your eyes. Your hands shoot up to your mouth, roughly grasping your cheeks to distract your fear with pain. Only instinct fills your thoughts as you hear him.

“C’mon baby! You SAID you wanted to stay and I can make that happen! And! And! Because you’re so special, I’ll even give you a kiss as I steal your heart!” He offers, talking with his hands as he scans the area for you. He’s not found where you are yet but he’s not moved from the area, he knows exactly where you stopped when you dodged him throwing knives at you. You know he isn’t being metaphorical about the heart thing either, judging by the grotesque doodles you found in his room when you went to show him a cute cat game you installed.

A deer. You feel like a deer in headlights, a prey animal. If you move, you’re dead. If you don’t, you’re dead. Distracting him with a rock won’t work, he’s been a murderer for years surrounded by OTHER murderers! You feel sick. You loved him, heard him out, defended him and you get a tragedy in return. He’s coming closer, you hear his clock-like steps crush leaves.

Tick. Tock. Tick. You desperately hope he’ll just go. Tick. Tock. Tick. Would running here even help? He’d just grab you! What are you thinking! Tick. Tock.

“Time’s up, baby!” He gleefully calls, stabbing a knife decorated with glittery hearts directly in your shoulder. You screech in pain, trying to move back but groaning as it only sinks deeper into your flesh. As you look up at him, he smiles wide. He always loved it when you had your eyes on him. Was it strange to still care for him? Blade, your former beloved, answers with running another knife (this time decorated with a photograph of you alone in your room, smiling while watching a comforting show) through the side of your stomach. You don’t have the energy to scream anymore.

“Do you even KNOW how cute you are when you just look so scared? Don’t worry, baby, I’m here for you!” He reassures you. You’re unsure if he actually thinks he’s helpful.

You’ve decided your last move. Reaching up weakly, wincing as the blades cut through you more, you hold the side of his skull in your hands. Funny how you’d be a skeleton in a while. He stills. You always did this when you wanted to comfort him and the first time you ever kissed him. He would always pause like that, as if he wondered if it even happened. You couldn’t speak, but it was your way of telling him you still believed in those times. That maybe not everything was a lie. He drops the new knife he was holding (you recognize it as the first knife he showed you when you saw his collection) and turns his skull to kiss you on the hand. He then leans in and kisses you on the forehead. As he does so, you feel that knife he dropped run directly through your chest. In your last thoughts, you pray Chaos will help them and are glad.. you’re glad that he at least loved you back.

(STORY BONUS: Blade preserves your eyes in jars and literally begs Nightmare to make a doll of you. Blade decorates it with a wedding dress and tears the eyes out of it to place yours in it. It feels fake. He doesn’t get why it doesn’t feel good this time when he stares you in your eyes.)

AHHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!

You know how I said I'd draw you something the next time you'll grace me with an imagine? IT'S HERE! :D

Masterlist

[painting-warhammer]

Magus in the style of Queen (Deltarune)

Definitely a messier one, and a drop in quality. Really just the result of me wanting to have a fun figure I did on the side for a series I'm obsessed with. Commentary under cut.

For practice figures, literally what I will do is just go through the Games Workshop store, see a figure and then realize "holy crap... I could paint this like [_____] from a series I like!", or in other words, how every Warhammer fan over 40 paints their Tyranids as the xenomorphs. It ends up being the equivalent of a mini-painting "doodle" or "warmup" in between working on the "real" army. I don't really think about or worry over making a larger "thematically connected" army.

What's kinda sad is that, with Queen in particular, I actually did buy another Genestealer Cultist figure with the intent to paint them as a Deltarune character. I have a primed Abominant that I was planning to paint as Lancer and the King.

Even separately from that, I considered having Lancer on his bike as an Atalan Jackal. But you'd have to get a full set of five, and honestly I just want the one popping a wheelie.

Not to mention, goddammit, that now I actually have Green Stuff. I shouldn't have primed them! I could have connected the hammer to his stomach and made the spade... at the very least, I should have given them their coneheads. Damn.

Anyways, Queen. Not a lot to say, you can see paint going over the lines and somehow only the wineglass-turned-staff is the only good looking part. I didn't busy myself too much with details and I think this was unfinished; I don't remember what state I considered this to be in when I last touched it a year ago. I might give some shade to the gown and the head, and boots and cowl deserve an edge highlight or two. Apologies to trypophobes when it comes to whatever the fuck my primer did to the inside of her thigh...

It's also to kinda say fixing her up is not my top priority. I finally have enough figures in my actual army to play the game (this took LITERALLY three years) so that's where my focus is going to be. That's not to say no forever, but it is to say TTFN.

What I was really hyped about was the base. I took a copy of Fairly Oddparents: Breakin' Da Rules for Game Boy Advance, an absolutely awful Megaman clone that will not be missed. and then sanded it down until it was just small enough to be based. I drew with a marker the relative circumference I had to get it to. I suppose I could have freehanded the wires but I'm sick of my bases being dirt and debris, I wanted something nice. Only problem was the glue gun definitely made a big ol' gap between the base and the basing.

I think most of the fun of this one was daydreaming about how this fits in the 40K universe. Her standing on a microchip is probably impossible, that's only a factor of her being the size of one in real life, but who knows. I imagine that she's from a Genestealer Cult that had infected a Forgeworld, specifically. I think there are gameplay mechanics to venerate a bug version of the Omnissiah? Don't know for sure.

That's all for now! If you have started following me or read my other posts, thank you for all the notes across all of them. It's very humbling; I really don't think these are very good and I think any goodwill is based on who they are rather than any ability/talent rendering those people. The next few posts are going to be my actual army and the lore I wrote up for them, but that doesn't mean that's the end of the "[Warhammer Character] in the style of [Thing From Franchise]" posts. I have three that are started and unfinished, and I might do touchups or even outright re-dos of the previous ones I've posted. Thank you for your support. I don't do this for cash [what Warhammer fan can?] or clout so getting even a like has been very encouraging and flattering.

[andro-dino]

Hi sorry for the ask jumpscare. I've been craving some Nile angst recently and may you could provide some of that Nile angst. (bc I randomly remembered the unrequited love Nile/Kyouya clip a while back. But it doesn't have to be about that.)

oooouhhh Nile angst,,, I haven’t had any angst thoughts in a while.

I think Nile’s interesting bc despite what he goes through, he’s actually very levelheaded and calm about it most of the time. I think he’s a very logical person and able to kinda see a lot of situations two steps ahead already, so he’s able to keep cool (for the most part) in the present. I think there’s a lot you could do with that there. I think the most obvious one is the emotional repression angle, where he’s almost too far ahead to the point where he’s not really letting himself feel in the moment. Like, he’s surprisingly chill about Kyoya’s outburst and split off from the group in fury considering how close they are, and he justifies that knowing that that’s just the kind of person Kyoya is and he wouldn’t expect him to stay tied down to something for long, and yet there’s still something about it that makes his stomach turn. He knows Kyoya’s a free spirit and not necessarily the friendliest person, so this isn’t really that out of character for him, yet part of him still wanted Kyoya to consider him a little more. For how close he thought the two were, they weren’t really getting much time together, and now with this, it only made him feel less secure about their bond. It’s kind of a feeling of his rationalism clashing with his own feelings and attachments, yk?

Another route I actually remembered I have thought a bit about before is how much Nile worries over Kyoya. Nile cares for Kyoya a ton, more than Kyoya probably even realizes, but he also knows that Kyoya has NO sense of self preservation and just wishes he would stop being so goddamn stubborn and reckless all the time. This thought is kinda inspired by wild fang vs gan gan galaxy, where Kyoya is super beat up and in no shape to battle after his battle with Gingka, yet still insists on going out there, despite Nile’s protests. Again, Nile kinda just accepts this as part of Kyoya’s character, but it worries him so much. I can definitely see and argument breaking out about that, and I think it could be interesting if Nile argued in this case that it’s selfish of Kyoya to be so reckless because of how much it disregards everyone else around him. It’s selfish because every time he does it, Nile is worried sick about what might happen to him, and he doesn’t even take the time to think about how his actions are causing that and considering anyone’s feelings besides his own. Like, not to pull out the “Why can’t you take care of yourself, if not for yourself then for me?” right now but like basically that. I’ve thought about this idea more lightheartedly before (I have an old ass doodle somewhere of Nile bandaging Kyoya up while the two yell at each other, ala “THIS IS STUPID IM FINE CHRIST THAT HURTS” “WELL MAYBE IF YOU WERENT GOING AROUND OVEREXERTING YOURSELF AND THROWING YOURSELF INTO TORNADOES, NEITHER OF US WOULD BE IN THIS SITUATION”) but I think it’s a very easy concept to make more angsty if you add more heartache into it.

Nile in general strikes me as the kind of independent but lonely type. In my head at least, he has a kind of duality between being fine on his own, and even preferring it at most points, but so desperately craving human connection and care. I think that’s part of what lets he and Kyoya get along so well in the first place, both are very free spirited and independent, but are able to understand each other and mesh more comfortably because of that. And with that, since there is a degree of yearning and relishing in that connection once he gets it, it’s only all the more confusing and painful once it’s called into question. Him kinda being under the impression that their relationship was something they both enjoyed more than being complete loners most of the time, yet he’s so willing to separate and say he doesn’t need anyone at all. Nile kinda figured they both needed each other a bit, so it’s strange realizing that may have been more one sided than he initially realized.

[l1nghuarchive]

hello!!! I wish u luck on starting up ur blog! :) being the absolute heizou and kazuha simp I am, may I request them with a sick reader? <3

WEE ONG TYSM FOR REQUESTING AAA YOU DIDNT PUT A GENDER SO I HOPE GN IS OK FOR YOU!! (i wrote this while i was taking the bus home, sorry if there are any spelling errors !)

Pairing : Kazuha && Heizou x reader

Type : hcs

Warnings : n/a

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

• Being the kind hearted person Kazuha is, he'll make sure to take care of you perhaps even stay back behind to take care of you if you are part of the crux!!

• As a wandering samurai, im pretty sure he has to take care of himself a lot before he had met Beidou so he is quite and expert when dealing with simple symptoms of sickness. If it's a high fever, he'll go to Baizhu to get medication and feed it to you! <3

• If you are very conscious about getting him sick even if he says it's okay, he'll write little poems for you and even draw a small doodle of himself as well as leaves! (ps. His drawing skills aren't really good but his words in his poems definitely make up for it!!)

• "Kazuha , these are uh really nice hearts that you drew..!" "My dove, it meant to be leaves.. But if you think it's a heart then it can be as well."

• Kazuha may seem like a rather calm person outside but he is interanally panicking inside if he is doing enough since he is scared that your health would get worse because he isn't taking good care of you.

• If you're symptoms tend to get worse, please reassure him it isn't his fault or he might actually start panicking and trying a bunch of medicine that he learnt on his travels that he thinks might help.

• Overall, Kazuha really someone who would stay by your side even if he isn't a professional doctor he is really genuine of taking care of you <3

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

• The best detactive Heizou is almost never called in on a sick day, after all missing one day could mean missing a lot of clues and cases he might find interesting.

• Now when he heard you were unwell, let's just say he doesn't really know how to take care of you </3 and he may or may not have fed you the wrong medicine..

• "Heizou, i think that is the medicine if I'm having if im having problems with.. Releasing gas." "Oh." (you told him that when he just fed you a spoon full of it, you had problems with your stomach a few days later after you got better..)

• Heizou would definitely try to cuddle with you in bed if you are having a headache or having trouble sleeping, of course while you're asleep he might try to think of ways to help you feel better faster. He hates to see you lying in bed all day since he wants you to go on many cases with him all around inazuma!

• He'll try to crack some jokes while you're in bed to keep you entertained while you're recovering. (his jokes are kinda stolen off from google but the fact they are overused makes it funny LMAO)

• Unlike Kazuha who is a wandering Samurai, being a detective requires a lot of time so Heizou always has to leave very early in the morning so he can come back earlier to take care of you though do expect a little note with a few puns and overused jokes next to your nightstand.

• Once you've gotten better, Heizou might have to work extra hours because he did runaway from the tenryou commission to take care of you do if he arrives home late please do welcome him with a hug <3

• Heizou might not be the best at taking care of you but he is willing to sacrifice himself to make sure you're healthy and happy <3

Tysm for requesting, i hope you liked this and sorry if it is ooc! </3

[mayisgoingnuts]

Kinda both jdnxnx—I meant mainly their lore and shiz tho. Also ya don't have to say what Denny and Theos complete lore is if ya don't want to /lh

ALRIGHT!! Also this will be,,, long,, maybe

As for what they are, they have the same dynamic as the Skirtz and the WageTrio: they're what would be an opposite counterpart of the Hatzgang. A sweet and calm "Roy", a chaotic and agitated "Ross" and an aggressive and cautious "Robert". BUT just like the girls, they're their own people with their own life and story :))

Now for the lores themselves! (TW sexual abuse, drug addiction and self-harm)

Denny:

-> I kinda already told it in my main and it's pretty obvious now anyway so; his aunt sexually abused him, and he's now afraid of older women and uncomfortable next to girls his age. He already dated a girl called Michaela (who is Morgana's counterpart!!) and they ended up breaking up, I got the reasons on why in this post.

-> I also already implied that his parents suck, or that are just bad in general.

-> Also revealed that he self-harms by scratching his own stomach whenever he's anxious, scared or angry.

Scar:

-> He's Jack's son with Stella, but they got divorced long time ago and now Scar has two moms who he lives with: Stella and Karol. They sell homemade smoothies, but for "a few reasons" they began to put cocaine in the smoothies so people would get addicted and go buy more, and like this, Scar ended up taking one when his moms weren't looking and developed a drug addiction that he's still unaware of.

-> To add with that, thanks to the drug Scar changed drastically, being now more "creepy and weird" and consequently making other people judge him and not want to talk to him.

-> It also got him more aggressive and at some point he also caused harm to himself, scratching his face until it was bleeding, since one of cocaine symptoms is "feeling like there's bugs on your face".

-> He's also deeply "in love" with Susie, but I didn't got to develop that part yet.

Theodor

-> He lives with his mom Daisy, who's very sick to the point that she needs someone taking care of her, but she's.. well, not dead. Theo loves her very much!

-> But since she needs help almost 24/7, Theo was basically the one to take care of the house and Daisy herself since a young age. Not really directly told this before, but he quit school at 6th grade because the ammount of responsibilities was too much for him, and he preferred to take care of his mom.

-> Is associated with the cult somehow, not really a secret anymore after the art with spoiler and doodles I posted earlier lmao.

Any other stuff I haven't told yet, imma be doing it with time ^^

-> He also has a deep hatred towards everyone in Skid's family, such as Skid himself and Lila, but I still didn't gave explanations aswell.

[ethernetmeep]

attended graduation. surprisingly cried less than i was anticipating, at least during the event. cried a bit afterwards, mix of realization & fear of not being able to get home safely. i did, luckily… my mother eventually came. wore a suit & tie, specifically the tie my friend gifted to me. heated up like a car in front of the sun. brought a drink since i knew if i didnt id maybe faint because of heat exhaustion. more likely nausea.

sat with an acquaintance, rambled to her. felt sick during most of the ceremony. almost puked, uh… three times. nerves hit like a brick wall. literally. nauseous because of nervousness. wanted to yell & holler but i dont have the voice for that. simple quiet ‘yay’ syllables had to suffice. brought sheldon & wiffle & chiquitito. gave chiquitito a bath before i left. got ready an hour or so early. sat outside & looked at birds in the meantime

in an ideal world i am very smart & funny & talented & talk to everyone & perfect. in an ideal world i dont get so worried my body physically shuts down. in an ideal world, i would be able to say something as simple as, “oh my gosh, i’m so happy for you! take care!” without bile festering. i try to live in this ideal world, try to be the best i can, but ive learned this is really really hard for me to do because frankly i am quite stupid. i know this is a haha funny joke 70% of the time but if i actually start gagging on nothing i know it’s probably a bad sign and i should stop overworking myself lest i actually do puke. it would not be very appealing to throw up in front of a plethora of my peers & their families. god…..

don’t even.. don’t.

[head in hands]

fine. FOR THE SAKE OF JOURNALISM! nothing else.

“I FUCKING— I HATE THEM. SO MUCH. I’M SORRY, I KNOW THATS MEAN—“

mother & other party member: “ITS NOT MEAN.”

[still reeling from remnants of stomach acid (as i did not eat anything in the morning when i took my meds which probably doesnt help this, although i didnt wanna eat then puke up whatever food it was i ate there either)] “I’M JUST— UGH! I’M SO FUCKING, I’M SO MAD.”

snippet of conversation. back seat with extra space just because. emotional & still nauseous. almost cry on the way home because of these weird things called human emotions, tears only well up; don’t actually fall. ramble to a man who knows a lot of people. miscellaneous conversations follow, like the one where i ask him if he can do anything about my favorite teacher being laid off. he says he’ll try. he…. how do i say this… knows… many individuals…. hes nice, slowly grown more used to his presence. i think if i cried with tears and snot long enough he’d be able to do many things, which is crazy & absurd but genuinely accurate. scarily accurate.

home, sitting outside & watching birds feed from the bird feeder. emptied it while i was gone. northern flicker, blue jay, blue-capped chickadee, common grackle, tufted titmouse… a wide variety. sprinkle some seeds on the ground for both squirrels & robins since they seem to not use the bird feeder much. robin right in front of me now, actually [was when i was typing this sentence]

i only made one note / doodle in my notebook during the event, but with words written & context applied its maybe better i don’t share it. saying…. heated words….. from a person that dislikes being rude unless someone is genuinely vile, is not as vague as one thinks they are. still, its pretty funny to imagine me being violent… slap thing was genuinely the first time i ever put my hands on someone like that

anyway, now theres three grackles near my bird feeder. two underneath. they’re so cute its almost upsetting, except its not. its quite nice to feel less alone

something something hi there something something oh hey i said everything now. i should probably lay down before my stomach gets worse

really happy i went, though. wouldn’t miss it for the world

[dausy]

Well I've been daily updating twitter ofcourse. I kind of at the last moment decided I was going to do a daily doodle thing. I did this years ago, where I drew something every day for a year. I'm not doing a full illustration this time just really simple, essentially a couple lines and thats it. Just to help the creative juices flowing. I probably wont stick it out for an entire year but I keep getting myself backed up into an artistic corner and I want to back back out of it and find a new corner. Instead while I've been doing that, I've also been using it as an excuse to update the status of my current ailment.

so essentially, I had already self-diagnosed myself with the flu but I did go ahead and made an urgent care appointment on Saturday (?). I will say that I normally get a flu shot, every year, I did not get one this year. Next year I will definitely be getting one. I definitely got this from my coworkers and theres was like 3x milder than mine. My immune system was not prepared.

I did not want to physically go to urgent care because I didn't feel safe driving. I was super short of breath and I felt very drunk (because its in my ears! my ears are messed up). Also, didn't want to sit in a waiting room when sitting up sounded like a lot of effort and besides, what is urgent care going to tell me that I dont already know? viruses are treated with rest and fluids and thats it. However, I assumed my boss was going to be on top of me for some sort of a work note even though I'm not a full time employee and I dont feel like I should need one but I had agreed to work on monday and if I called in she'd probably pitch a fit. I discovered, thanks to the local spouse groups, that there was a local mobile urgent care. They came to my house! I schedule an appointment and they came out about an hour later. The most convenient thing ever. They apparently didn't take my insurance so they charged me 179$ out of pocket but I wasn't going to complain. I didn't have to go anywhere. I could track the MA on gps and they sent me his photo so I didn't "have to be scared" lmao. It was all very nice.

I had already tested myself for covid and it was negative. I was tempted to start myself on prednisone (because I practically have an entire pharmacy at home) but HR was a good 115 and adding steroid to that sounded not fun. Normally my HR runs 60s if Im calm and 80s if Im stressed. 115 with steroids on board didn't sound like fun. My 02 was dropping to 93 when I was up and walking around but it would go back up to the high 90s. This poor MA came with a laptop that virutally connected to a PA and they were like "what do you want me to do for you?" like I guess I mainly just wanted to make sure that I was safe to be at home and I have evidence I saw some sort of healthcare person as proof.

I oddly enough didn't have much of a cough until about yesterday. I was feeling short of breath and when I did cough I'd cough gunk up but mainly it just hurt to cough but it wasn't frequent at all. Now I'm coughing alot. The worst part was the hot/cold flashes. I completely drenched the bed in sweat. I've never seen that much water come off of me. I literally touched the valley of my stomach and it was a puddle. I splished my hands in it. I would alternate between uncontrollable sweating to then freezing to death. I thought I'd be over it and I washed all my linens yesterday and then last night, just sweat everywhere. Which was annoying because I felt....nagged..?..guilttripped? to go into work today by my boss. Like I was faking it..I couldnt possibly be sick that long(my coworkers recovered in 2 days)..maybe I was crazy and I wasn't sick?

so I did! I WENT TO WORK TODAY. My coworkers were actually fine. They said they were actually surprised they handled things well without me. I'm simultaneously proud of them and really aggravated that I went in. Because I really did feel terrible. I realized real fast how weak I was and my brain was not functioning. I even gave myself the easiest roll I could where I was off in a corner away from people and I was struggling. I was struggling to walk and I was struggling to stand. My partner at work let me know how bad I looked too. I apparently looked like a frail old lady. Which was nice.

So I went home. My boss is like "wait where you going?". I guess in her defense she came equipped with a bunch of throat lozenges for me but I didn't have a sore throat. I have no energy and cant breath. So I'm going home. I dont work tomorrow btw.