#shut up it was funnier in my head
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I have so many half completed oneshots. I’m gonna end up assigning numbers and rolling dice to pick which mess gets ironed out next why are there so many
#bc I’m slow and easily sidetracked#as evidenced by the brand new file with approximately ten Sskk ideas from the last week alone#I have! too many! things! to start new shit! I do this every time!#there’s easily over a million words in my wips brain let me finish one of them ffs#the bunnies. they are multiplying. it is not electrifying. grease lightning. you’re killing me.#shut up it was funnier in my head
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What if instead of Midvalley the Hornfreak he was Midvalley the Horn𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 and he wore a BDSM outfit to match the rest of the Gung-Ho-Guns???
#this was a lot funnier in my head i think#but the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with this font makes it instantly better#I’ve been thinking about the ghg outfits a lot lately#why do they look like that#the only normal ones are Midvalley and WW#and i GUESS leonof (?) the puppet guy but i fucking hate him#rai dei doesnt even count cuz hes a fucking samurai with roller blades#roller skates***** was thinking abt rai dei the //blade// im stupid#but hes not considered normal in gunsmoke anyway#gung-ho-guns#shut up stef#midvalley the hornfreak#trigun#trigun maximum#gung ho guns
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Young odysseus convincing everyone Ithaca is nothing but a poor island with rocks and goats to avoid any raids/conquerors/so he doesn't get murdered for talking to Helen bc "it's not like he's a real choice"
Young odysseus falling in love with Penelope at the same event: wait. Wait shit I fucked up hold on just hear me out
#the odyssey#Odysseus#Penelope#Pre-canon(?)#odypen#Odypen meet ulgy#When the cute “bumpkin” boy wants to marry you but only brought 3 goats for your cousins gifts#AND you caught him spying on your family#There's like a single line in the odyssey where I think some god is narratoring (not 100% sure)#And they have a well actually interjection moment to explain how Ithaca isn't just one island it actually has a shit ton of land#And is technically richer then every other country#Which honestly just makes it funnier that odysseus was like welp time to beg again with zero issues for 10 years#But it will never not be funny to me that young odysseus really shot himself in the foot with Penelopes family for the start#Like clearly it worked out but I bet Penelope father HATES him#Listen odysseus showed up to Helen's courting for the drama ONLY he never planned on marrying her#Bc he knew her husband would be murdered immediately#My man showed up for the drama and stayed for Penelope#Otp#I love them#And need more of these two being rat bastards to each other and LOVING it#Listen neither one of them has let a single thing go in their whole life and they like that about the other#Odysseus going to buy anything for his wife ever#Penelope: Oh my can we afford that this is just a simple rock island with a few goats#Odysseus: dressed head to toe in very very rich cloth that his wife made#Ithaca with the fastest ships bc ody designed new ones#Penelope: literally dripping with jewels that were MAYBE stolen (shut up you can't prove anything and Penelope likes it when he's a bastard#Odysseus: you're so right my bad that was so irresponsible for getting you a gift. Perhaps your father would like to pay instead?
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“You see Perry the Platypus, back in Drusselstein I had a heated gamer moment during my 24 hour Minecraft charity stream and lost all my followers. That’s why I invented this, the Slur-inator 5000!”
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We keep the orchestra motivated and awake by firing a cannon into the audience at random intervals.
#dougie rambles#personal stuff#my poor attempt at a joke#what#no context#orchestra#music#cannon#this sounded funnier in my head#shitpost#highbrow shitposting#unreality#motivation#intimidation#idk#tchaikovsky#1812 overture#shut up
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Oh she's a brick
house
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Father brown who's trying to live his very catholic - not sinful - life.
Hercule Flambeau who's on a quest to steal this mans heart.
And the conversation is like ⬇️
Father Brown:"What do you want?"
Hercule Flambeau:"I need to steal something very important and I need your help."
Father Brown:"What are you looking for?"
Hercule Flambeau:"Your heart!"
*Awkward silence*
Bunty (from the altar):"That was smooth!"
#father brown#flambrown#hercule flambeau#bunty windermere#this sounded funnier in my head#But the flirt was smooth#like a smooth criminal- okay I'll shut up.
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Oliver drank Felix’s jizzy, grimy bath water, right? But like, if Hannibal were to do that with Will’s bath water, he’d arguably get more out of it, cause that man sweats like there’s no tomorrow
#idk#shut up#it actually sounded funnier in my head#saltburn#nbc hannibal#hannigram#it’s more about Hannibal so I won’t tag saltburn as heavily#a joke
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i feel sick
#i genuinely think there might be something wrong with me other than the autism but idk what#but my family only holds taking me to a doctor/therapist over my head as a threat and never follow through with it#which is funny since my dad was looking into therapy (he was abt to sign up for betterhelp but i shut that down lmao)#it’s even funnier bc my parents (more so my mother) actively look down on mentally ill people#i’m quote unquote above being depressed#idk beating the shit out of your kid all of her childhood might do something to her psyche???? just a though#i might delete this later i dunno yet#shut up momo#teeny tiny vent heehee
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do NOT claim to be french + gay if youre not diagnosed with at least one pd
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#this was way funnier in my head#this post is inspired by a moot saying seiros is when edelgard refuses to peg her and rhea is after edelgard pegs her 😭😭😭#rhea#seiros#fire emblem#fe3h#shut up val#shitpost
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i think itachi would be a metalcore and vkei fan, and sasuke would be one of those crying illenial ravers, but they would both have mcr in common
#it makes sense in my head ook#sorry just the idea of sasuke being one of the stereotypical aznsadboi ravers is so funny to me#sasuke at the rail at dabin. sasuke making kandi with naruto for san holo#well he's kind of a loner so maybe you could switch the genres and he's the scenemo fan and itachi is the raver but. its funnier to me.#'sasuke did i see you crying at said the sky' 'SHUT UP no'
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kyle: kick the baby!
ike: nuh uh
kyle:
kyle: fym "nuh uh"
#parker shut up#this was funnier in my head#sp kyle#kyle broflovski#sp ike#ike broflovski#south park
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Me when I’m reminded I can’t eat cheese
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I think cocktails need to be given more unhinged sounding names.
“According to the recipe book, this one is called The Ruination of Mankind.”
“Yeah this is a gin based cocktail, it’s called Edith Keeler Must Die.”
“I’ve prepared a specialty consisting of triple sec and vermouth. I like to call it The Final Insult.”
And so on.
You get the idea.
#dougie rambles#personal stuff#my poor attempt at a joke#this sounded funnier in my head#cocktails#names#semantics#gin#vermouth#triple sec#mixology#bartending#idk shit about that#shut up#what#no context
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Tales of Vesperia AU where everything is the same except Zagi interrupts literally every single boss fight
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