#shut up i'm talking podcast
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it's nearly 2025. tommyinnit is a bicurious comedian podcaster and somehow actually funny again. coy piso is getting ever closer to announcing that he's moving to new york. mumbo jumbo is uploading new hermitcraft videos that simply ooze joy and excitement 3 times a week. and somehow i'm watching all of them enjoying myself like it's covid era again
#important clarification: i had never ever dropped watching mumbo#he's not a covid-era youtuber to me in that way because i've watched every single hermitcraft episode he's had starting in season 7 always#but to see an upload schedule like this from him?#and videos where he's so excited to be.. building beautiful things? is so odd but fantastic to see from him#i was never even a coy piso viewer though he was just kinda a guy in the dsmp-sphere a little bit but his vlogmas right now is FUN#i'm looking forward to his new uploads i fear#and tommy and jack are actually like... doing funny shit together right now#i'm not a kid anymore but i'm in my nostalgia feels. maybe it's the holiday spirit#my posts#tommyinnit#jack manifold#shut up i'm talking#shut up i'm talking podcast#shut up im talking#dsmp#dream smp#coy piso#piso4#mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#hermitcraft season 10
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"I wrote in my diary to never be horrible to Dream again, it's not worth it, because I didn't like when he was mad with me, it made me too sad" it's a quote I would expect from c!tommy during the Exile arc, not from Tommyinnit, the content creator, talking about how Dream, the content creator, treated him when he was 15/16
#what the fuck#I'm with jack on this one I hate dream#rosa's garden#dream neg#dream situation#tommyinnit#shut up im talking#shut up I'm talking podcast
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Interesting results....future study needed
#he's like half pussy facing the world half cock shame#i made a textpost#green line meme#pussy facing the world#jacksepticeye#shut up I'm talking#shut up I'm taking pod#shut up I'm talking podcast#suit podcast#suit pod
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From anyone else's perspective Arthur's just got one hell of a fucked up soliloquy huh.
#He's literally Hamlet but instead of killing himselef he kills uh. maybe 7 people#okay yes technically a soliloquy involves one addressing the audience as speaking their thoughts aloud but for the sake of this we'll just g#go with the simple definition of a character talking to oneself#I'm nitpicking my own posts I love Shakespeare shut up I'll kill us both#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#malevolent arthur
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Large amounts of emotional whiplash going from watching the video where tommy seriously discusses all the bad shit he went through this year, only to switch to the podcast episode where tommy tells jedward about his breakup and they start singing last christmas by wham
#tommys jaw genuinely dropped when they started singing too#u can tell this podcast ep fucking flawed him.#i mean it flawed me#tommyinnit#shut up i'm talking
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me (being neither British nor American) starting Malevolent:
Okay so he's British. Are they in England? Why does everyone sound weird? Are they in America? No wait that wouldn't make any sense whatsoever? Ooooh Arkham is fictional - so are they in America? Why is there a Scottish accent are they in the UK? No they aren't he just bought a gun?? How are you taxiing everywhere ooooh it's the 1930s that explains the lack of cellphones WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE DICE ROLLING SOUNDS does Arthur actually talk out loud when he speaks to John that doesn't seem right he hears him in his head right? no wait he does talk out loud because he's stammering man why don't you get yourself some sunglasses and a stick to appear blind does having control over your hand/foot mean you can actually move it or not because you have to use your muscles in the shoulder to move the entire arm-
#yeah boys I'm really lost on the mechanics here 🤠#10 eps in and I have so many questions#the England/America thing bugs me out so much because I try to visualize the scenes as much as possible#it's a shift#malevolent#but I'm enjoying it very much!!#and the vibe changes entirely depending on the location#to be fair if I understand correctly then he does talk out loud?#because he needs to shut up in dangerous situations and it's then solely John talking#I guess it's just the whiplash of coming from tma#where the mayority of the episodes is written out very detailed#whereas this is very atmospheric and relies on your attention to auditory clues#malevolent podcast#arthur lester
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Tragedy! Podcast with a great premise hosted by people who are gravely overestimating how entertaining their banter is!
#original#vagueblogging#every podcast can be quantified by how interested I am in the premise how entertaining the banter is and the ratio between banter and premi#with something like Well There's Your Problem I can happily listen to the hosts talk about whatever the fuck#with something like Behind the Bastards I'll enjoy both the banter and the premise#with something like the film reroll the banter is uneven quality wise but if it goes on too long I can usually just fast forward a couple o#times and they'll be back on track#and then there's the podcast I'm vaguing about#where they are not shutting up about a completely different podcast that they also do#commit to the bit you cowards
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Maybe the fog’s here because I want it here.
Is that why I opened the windows?
Maybe I asked the fog to come…
-MAG170: Recollection
#furry art#anthro art#fursona#ink markings#vent art#avoiding tagging the show the lines are from bc the art has nothing to do with the podcast lmao#the rest of these tags are rambling you can stop reading now no worries !#it’s just getting gross outta my head and onto paper#I’m so bad at conversations and I know it’s my own fault but it feels isolating#I gotta get better at talking but I’m just afraid to reach out to people#no idea how to talk that isn’t infodumping#I just wanna talk about my OCs or my fandoms or just…. anything but feel like no one wants to hear that shit lmao#sometimes I feel like the people in my life would rather interact with anyone other than me lmao#I feel way better after drawing this out tho#bless the arts#i know i know i need to be the one to reach out more#and i know my anxiety stems from my parents hardcore ridiculing me whenever i talked to much#and my exes ignoring me at the drop of a hat for whatever new thing piqued them#but its hard to know that logically and get my brain to cooperate#and not think that I'm automatically annoying every person i speak to#although maybe it's also better because anyone who gets stuck in a room irl with me knows i don't shut up lmao#maybe its for the best i can never manage to do it in text
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neeeeeedd any shut up im talking patreon subs to tell me if theres any more stories abt charlie in japan 🙏🙏
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Watching this podcast for the conversation.
#Who would win 1 Autistic-ADHD man or a chair without arms the answer may surprise you#pretty pretty#who is she etc#this is from the Shut Up I'm Talking podcast which was randomly in my youtube suggestions today#jse#jacksepticeye
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Me, a jew, the moment podcast hosts mention something even jewish adjacent
#Op#Jumblr#It has gone wrong too many times#Please let me just enjoy a single podcast without goyim nonsense#At this point I'd rather you just not mention us#Even if it isnt outright hateful it is like oh my God shut up#I know people won't learn unless corrected#But please let me enjoy things. I'm tired of dropping things because they are ruined by dumbassness#Even if it is just 'So the name of God to jews is---' NO IT ISNT. 'Apparently you aren't even supposed to say it because it is rude'#THAT ISNT THE REASON.. IT IS UNKNOWABLE AND THAT ISNT EVN THE NAME.#'Some jews even are afraid to write the word God'#THAT ISNT THE REASON WHY SOME JEWISH PEOPLE DONT WRITE OUT THE FULL WORD.. YOU FOOL. YOU WHO SPEAKS FROM YOUR ASS#Why are you even talking about this?????? You are a podcast by a historian and a layman talking about#proving common claims of aliens from stuff like ancient aliens tv show as not aliens#With historical context and stuff#You are just supposed to talk about how things are probably not aliens#Stick to your topic#How did you even get on this#Leave us alone#Goyim gonna goy#Its just. Instant fight flight freeze mode activated as soon as I realize we are mentioned#Mixed with a dash of dread
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★ RIZZLER P ─── PB⁵ (part 2/2)
౨ৎ ─ summary | part one -> y/n is a youtuber and on the cancelled podcast, she reveals she has a crush on paige bueckers. y/n gets invited to her first game of the season and they have a lot of fun! part one!!!!!!!!!!!
─ warnings | literally nothing but banter and fun, slight paige slander (but its from kk and ice so its ok), idk what else. oh brooke and tana being protective but its in a sweet way. also i love this mini series i loved it
─ ev's notes | sooo im trying out a semi-new format, lmk if yall like it!!!!!!!
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!
Paige 💕 (paigebueckers) started following you.
Paige 💕 wants to send you a message. Hey, I heard you were into D1 basketball players? 😉
The message stuck out to you, your stomach dropping as you read the message request. You couldn't help but grin as you read her playful message, the nervous energy in your stomach now morphing into a thrilling anticipation. With shaky hands, you tapped on the message request, your heart pounding in your chest.
You couldn't believe Tana's advice had actually worked ─ talking about them on a podcast was the best rizz, apparently.
With trembling hands, you typed out a response, trying to come across confident despite the fluttering of nerves in your stomach.
Y/N 🎀 hi, you saw the episode?
Y/N 🎀 god i'm so embarrassed, sorry if you keep getting bombarded with questions from my fans lol. they mean well i swear 😫
You exited out of Instagram and tapped on iMessage, quickly getting into your group-chat with the girls.
we ❤️ white claws
y/n | GUESS WHO DM'D ME
tana | PAIGE BUECKERS???????
brooke | it better be paige or ur just blue balling us atp
y/n | yes it was paigeeee! *sends screenshot*
brooke | omgggg she's flirting with you!!!!
tana | what did i say bro?? what did i say?????
y/n | tysm tana ur literally the fucking best
As you were typing out your message to the groupchat, your phone buzzed. You looked up at the message, a smile spreading on your lips.
Paige 💕 Haha, yeah, I saw the episode. Don't worry about it, it's all good :)
Paige 💕 And no need to apologize, ur fans are really funny lol
You closed your phone, shutting your eyes as you swallowed a squeal of excitement.
The thrill of talking to Paige was almost overwhelming, but in the best possible way. You'd thought she was attractive since you'd first gotten into basketball back in high school (yes, it was because of your ex but that's besides that point), and it was surreal now that she was not only talking to you ─ she was hitting on you.
──
It had been a few weeks since you'd began talking to Paige and since then, you'd exchanged phone numbers and were talking every single day. She was sending you good morning texts, she made sure to do an fit check every morning, and you found yourself eagerly awaiting each message from her. The thrill of talking to Paige hadn't faded; if anything, it had only intensified as you got to know her better.
However, you knew since the season was beginning she wasn't going to be as free as she was before. You didn't mind, of course ─ you were just happy you were able to talk to her at all. These last couple days had been busy for her and you hadn't been able to talk to her, but this morning you'd gotten something in the mail that you were sure you didn't order.
You ripped it open to reveal Paige's jersey, and it was even signed at the bottom. You couldn't believe it, your heart swelling with warmth at the unexpected gesture from her. Holding the jersey in your hands, you couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness behind her gift.
As if on cue, your phone began buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out. You quickly accepted the Facetime, a grin on your face as you answered.
"Oh my god, you're insane."
"What? You got the jersey?" Paige feigned shock, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she grinned at you through the screen. "I have no idea how that got there."
You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. "Yeah, I got it. Thank you so much, Paige. It's... it's amazing."
Paige's smile softened, her eyes warm with affection. "You're welcome. I just wanted to show my appreciation for you, you know?"
You felt a swell of warmth in your chest. "Well, it definitely made my day. Thanks, P. I really mean it."
Paige smirked as she took you in through the Facetime. "So, I guess you'll have to wear it to my games now, right? You can't let this signed jersey go to waste."
"Is that an invitation, P?" You teased, raising an eyebrow playfully as you grinned at Paige through the screen. The idea of attending Paige's games in her signed jersey filled you with excitement, and you couldn't wait to cheer her on from the stands.
Paige chuckled, her smirk widening. "Yeah, you down? You know our first game's on Thursday night, I'll get you floor tickets and everything."
You didn't think she was serious but the more you thought about it, the more you realized she might actually be serious. The excitement bubbled up within you at the thought of attending Paige's game, especially with floor tickets.
"Are you serious?" you asked, a hint of disbelief in your voice.
"Well, uh. I know it's a long flight but I wanna see you. I'll fly you out, I'll show you around and we can spend some time together, and stuff." Paige's usual confident demeanor was replaced with a touch of nervousness, her eyes searching yours for a reaction.
"Paige, are you sure?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The idea of spending time together in person was both thrilling and nerve-wracking, and you couldn't believe that Paige was offering to fly you out just to see her.
Paige nodded, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "Of course, I would. I mean, if you want to."
"Yeah, of course I would. You're sure?" You spoke softly but earnestly. Flights were expensive, especially when they were as last minute as this.
Paige let out a dramatic sigh as she nodded. "Yes, bro. Yes or no?"
"Yeah, of course. Gosh, so impatient." You teased as Paige laughed through the Facetime.
Paige chuckled, her laughter filling the screen as she rolled her eyes playfully. "Okay, good. Now show me how my jersey looks on you, put it on for me."
You blushed slightly as you nodded, taking the jersey as you walked up the stairs of your house. You couldn't believe it ─ you were flying out to meet Paige in less than a week. You were going to meet Paige Bueckers in less than a week.
──
"Y/N L/N is flying out to see your ass?" KK's voice sounded shocked as sat up on the bed, her eyes wide and her jaw slightly dropped in disbelief.
Paige kept her eyes on her phone as she nodded slowly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She tried to keep the whole nonchalant thing going up but her friends could see right through it.
Paige couldn't help but smirk at KK's shocked reaction, though she attempted to maintain an air of nonchalance. "Yeah, she is," she replied casually, her fingers tapping away on her phone.
"She's coming to watch us play, like on Thursday?" KK repeated slowly as she tried to process the information, her eyes still wide with astonishment. "Seriously?"
Paige shrugged, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, seriously. Why is it so hard to believe?"
Ice, who had been lounging next to KK, chimed in with a smile. "Sounds like you're getting serious, P. Bringing her to a game? That's basically a relationship milestone."
Paige rolled her eyes playfully at Ice's comment. "It's not like that, Ice. We're just friends."
"Does she know that? You're such a fuckboy, Paige." Ice rolled her eyes as she exchanged a look with KK.
Paige couldn't help but laugh at Ice's teasing, though she couldn't deny the warmth spreading through her chest at the thought of you. "Trust me, Ice, she knows. And I'm not a fuckboy, I'm just... being a good friend."
KK chuckled, nudging Ice playfully. "Come on, Ice, let's not scare Paige away from the relationship talk."
"Bro, fuck off," Paige groaned as she sighed, leaning back in the gaming chair.
Paige knew she liked you but at this point, she'd only been texting you for a month and before she could be official with you, she'd have to spend time with you in real life. Plus, you lived in California and long distance was not the ideal for her.
"Are we getting those live show tickets or..." KK began as Paige sent her a glare. She put up her hands in defense as Ice let out a small laugh, shaking her head in amusement.
"Don't worry, we can ask her Thursday," Ice teased as she leaned back in the bed, her grin widening.
"Bro, you better leave her alone-"
"Ooo, she's getting possessive already. You have to remember it's Y/N, bro, she's definitely going to have some fans too." KK laughed, joining in on the teasing with a playful smirk.
Paige rolled her eyes at her friends' banter, though she couldn't help but feel a hint of amusement at their antics. "Guys, come on. Let's not make a big deal out of it."
KK chuckled, nudging Ice with her elbow. "Oh, come on, Paige, we'll behave."
"I'll believe it when I see it," Paige retorted as the girls laughed.
──
Y/N 🎀 posted on her story !
You were incredibly nervous and the noise of the crowded stadium didn't do much to calm your already frayed nerves. It was your first time meeting Paige in person, and the anticipation had been building up inside you since the moment you boarded the plane to Connecticut.
The plan was to originally go to a pre-game dinner but it didn't really work out because of the traffic and the hectic schedule leading up to the game. Instead, Paige suggested meeting directly at the stadium, where she would give you a tour and introduce you to some of her teammates before the game started.
As you made your way through the crowds, your heart pounded with nervous excitement. Thoughts raced through your mind, wondering if Paige would like you in person as much as she seemed to over text, if you would have enough to talk about, and if you'd be able to keep your nerves in check. You were a nervous wreck, your stomach twisting in anxiety.
You couldn't help but feel a knot forming in your stomach as you scanned the crowd, searching for Paige among the sea of faces. Suddenly, you spotted her standing near the entrance to the court, her eyes scanning the crowd with a look of concentration. Your breath caught in your throat as you made eye contact, and a wave of relief washed over you.
God, she was even more attractive in real life. Her hair was in her signature braided ponytail and had worn some light make-up, her lashes long and her cheeks pink with blush.
Paige's face lit up with a bright smile as she caught sight of you, and she began weaving her way through the crowd towards you. Your nerves melted away as she drew closer, and before you knew it, her arms wrapped around you in a light embrace.
She was even taller than you expected ─ she practically towered over you, but her embrace felt warm and comforting. As she pulled back, you couldn't help but admire the way her eyes sparkled with excitement as she scanned your outfit.
"You're wearing the jersey!" She exclaimed as her eyes took you in, she had no shame in the fact she was checking you out. You didn't miss the way she bit her lip and how her eyes lingered, your face flushing with warmth at her gaze.
"Yeah, I wanted to show my support," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering of nerves in your stomach. "Plus, it's pretty comfy."
Paige grinned, her smile widening at your response. "Well, you look amazing in it. Maybe even better than I do," she teased, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
You couldn't help but laugh at her teasing, your blush deepening as you looked up at the taller girl. "You're such a flirt,"
Paige bit her lip as her head fell back as she laughed, her laughter filling the air around you and sending a shiver of excitement down your spine. "Nah, I wasn't even trying that time."
Before you could reply, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to meet the gazes of two girls and a boy, their expressions nervous and excited. "Oh my god, we are such big fans!"
You smiled instantly as you turned your attention toward them. "Aw, thank you, guys. That means the world, would you like a picture?"
The trio's faces lit up with excitement as they nodded eagerly. "Yes, please!" one of the girls exclaimed, her voice filled with excitement.
"Can she take the picture?" One of the girls asked as she gestured toward Paige. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her hands in her pockets as she exchanged a glance toward you.
"Uh, sure."
You and the fans gathered closer, posing for the picture as Paige stepped back to frame the shot. With a quick press of the button, the photo was taken, capturing the moment. As the fans thanked you both and walked away, chatting animatedly amongst themselves. You glanced toward the blonde as she began laughing, shaking her head.
"What?" You asked as she drew closer to you.
Paige shrugged. "I just kinda forgot you're like famous, or whatever. It kinda gives me like... an ego boost, not gonna lie."
You couldn't help but laugh at Paige's comment, her candidness adding to the lightheartedness of the moment. "Why?"
"You're like this really pretty girl who's super funny and has like, a whole fanbase. And you flew out to see me, you told everyone on your friend's podcast that you had a crush on me and now you're here, just casually hanging out with me, wearing my jersey like it's no big deal," Paige explained, a playful smirk tugging at her lips.
You laughed at her explanation, feeling a warmth spread through you at her words. "Well, to be fair, you're also this incredible basketball player who's basically taking the WNBA world by storm. And you invited me to your game, so I'd say we're pretty even."
"You're boosting my ego even more though, I hope you know that," Paige replied with a playful grin, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
You chuckled, feeling a sense of ease settle between you. "Just returning the favor," you teased, nudging her playfully.
"Okay, I'ma let me show you around now," Paige grinned as she gestured for you to keep walking. Her hands found your waist and began guiding you through the halls, her touch unexpected but undoubtedly welcome.
You couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement at the contact, her touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. With Paige's arm around your waist, guiding you through the busy stadium corridors, you felt a sense of intimacy that was both thrilling and comforting.
──
As you sat in the stands, surrounded by cheering fans and the energy of the game, your heart raced with excitement. You stole glances at Paige on the court, marveling at her skill and grace as she played. Despite your nerves, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that you were there to support her.
She was so attractive (even while running around and sweating), she reminded you how much you loved hoopers. The way she moved, the intensity in her eyes as she focused on the game, it all captivated you. Even in the midst of competition, she exuded a confidence and poise that was undeniably attractive.
Your eyes stayed on her the entire game, not paying much attention to anything else. You were so enamored with Paige that you hardly noticed the passage of time. Every movement she made seemed effortless, every shot she took seemed destined to find the net.
As the game reached its end, with the score neck and neck, Paige seemed to rise to the occasion, her determination shining through in every play. And when she sank the winning shot in the final seconds of the game, the crowd erupted into cheers, the sound reverberating throughout the stadium.
You couldn't help but leap to your feet, cheering along with the rest of the fans as you watched Paige celebrate with her teammates on the court.
As the crowd began to disperse and the energy of the game slowly subsided, you made your way down to the court, eager to congratulate Paige. As you approached her, a wide grin spread across her face, and she pulled you into a tight hug, the euphoria of the win still palpable in the air.
Paige didn't care if people took pictures or if people decided to gossip about it later; all she cared about was you being there in that moment.
"You looked really good out there," the words came out of your mouth before you could really process them. Paige pulled out from the hug with a laugh, her arms still around your shoulders.
"And you looked really sexy in the stands, wearing my jersey." Paige smirked playfully, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she teased you.
"I felt like a NBA trophy wife, I was clapping all cutesy cause I knew people were taking pictures of me," you quipped, feeling a rush of excitement at Paige's playful banter. Her laughter was infectious, and you found yourself grinning in response.
Paige chuckled, giving you a playful nudge with her shoulder. "Well, you definitely looked the part," she teased, her tone affectionate as she leaned in closer to you.
You laughed along with her, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort in her presence. "Guess I'll have to start practicing my trophy wife wave for next time," you replied with a playful wink.
"Ooo, next time? Does that mean you'll visit me again?" Paige teased, raising an eyebrow playfully as she looked at you.
You couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for her at her words. "Of course," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "But only if you make me a WNBA wife, P."
She squinted as if she was thinking about it, earning a playful shove from you. "I'm just playing, you're the only girl."
"I'd hope so," you scoffed as you playfully rolled your eyes, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips.
Paige grinned, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Well, lucky for you, you're my favorite girl," she replied, her tone soft and affectionate.
"So there are other girls?" You teased as she groaned playfully, earning a laugh from you. "I'm just your favorite-"
"That's not what I meant, you're the only one who's wearing my signed jersey, that I sent directly to your house and you're the only one who gets good morning texts and fit checks." Paige countered, her playful smirk widening into a genuine smile.
You couldn't help but laugh at her response, feeling a sense of warmth and happiness fill your chest. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you replied, your tone light and teasing.
Before Paige could reply, she saw Ice and KK approaching from behind you. She sighed as you turned around, meeting their excited gaze.
Paige sighed playfully as she turned to greet Ice and KK, who were clearly eager to join in on the conversation. "Hey, what's up, you two?" she greeted them with a smile, her eyes flickering with amusement.
Ice and KK exchanged a knowing look before KK grinned mischievously. "So, are we interrupting something here?" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Paige rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the smile tugging at her lips. "Y/N, this is KK and Ice. Don't worry about them though, they're just stupid freshman who think they're the shit-"
"Bro, says you!" KK shouted as you laughed, exchanging a smile with Ice.
"I know who you guys are, P talks about you a lot," you said, offering a friendly smile to KK and Ice. "Nice to finally meet you both."
KK's eyes lit up with excitement. "Oh, really? What does she say about us?" she asked eagerly, leaning in closer with a playful grin.
Paige let out a groan, shooting you an amused glance before replying, "Only good things, I promise."
"Yeah, she loves you guys." You smiled as you glanced between Paige, KK, and Ice. "Always talking about your antics and how you keep things interesting."
"She talks about you too, like nonstop." KK began before she earned a shove from a very flustered Paige.
Ice continued, "We thought she was lying until we watched your episode with Tana and Brooke, then we were confused cause you like Paige?"
"Why are you saying it like that? Paige?" Paige mocked Ice, earning a laugh from you and KK.
"Cause Y/N's like a whole baddie, like a 20/20 and you're just like... mid at basketball," Ice explained as Paige sent her a playful glare. "People are gonna be really confused until they see how much you make, then they'll be like ohh,"
"Shut up, bro," Paige replied, but there was a fondness in her tone as she exchanged playful banter with Ice. "It's not about basketball skills, it's about the person."
"Sure, sure," KK chimed in with a grin. "We all know you're a catch, Paige. But hey, if Y/N's into it, who are we to judge?"
You laughed at the girls banter, exchanging a smile with Paige as Ice and KK did the same. "Y/N, we have a question."
"Oh no, bro," Paige groaned as KK nudged her slightly, telling her to be quiet as you nodded, laughing softly.
"Can you get us tickets to Tana and Brooke's shows? Please, we really really wanna go," KK asked, her excitement palpable.
You couldn't help but chuckle at KK's eagerness. "Sure! I'll reach out to them get you guys some," you replied with a smile, already mentally making a note to message Tana and Brooke about it later.
Paige rolled her eyes playfully. "Great, now you're getting my girl to do favors for you," she joked, earning a laugh from both you and KK.
"Your girl?" Ice responded as she raised her brow. "Okay, I see you P, already locking it down."
Paige's cheeks flushed slightly as she playfully nudged Ice. "Shut up, Ice. You know what I mean."
KK leaned in with a mischievous grin. "Oh, we know what you mean, Paige. You're just too scared to admit it."
"Okay, well. Thank you so much, Y/N, you're even more stunning in person. I'll leave you guys to it, now," Ice smirked as she grabbed KK and began walking off the court, toward the team.
Paige let out a sigh before she turned over to meet your eyes, a softness to softness to her expression that made your heart flutter. "Sorry about them, they're like that all the time," she said with a chuckle.
You shook your head with a smile, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you. "No, no, they seem really sweet. They remind me of Tana and Brooke though," you laughed as Paige nodded.
"Uh, sure!" Paige teased as you shook your head in amusement. "I need to go take a shower but um, maybe you can come over?"
Your smile widened at the request as you nodded. "Yeah, sounds like fun."
Again, her hand found the small of your back as she led you toward the team. She was soon reminded of a team celebration they were planning on doing later and the girls insisted on bringing you, she realized that you had become their favorite, too.
But she couldn't blame them, you were perfect.
──
tana mongeau (tanamongeau) started following you. Brooke (brookeschofield) started following you.
tana mongeau wants to send you a message. hurt her and you die, got it blondie ?? not joking btw
Brooke wants to send you a message. Heard you & Y/N had a fun time this weekend! You seem like such a sweet girl, would love to have you on the pod sometime. Promise we'll keep it PG 🤗
Brooke Oh and go huskies!!!! 😁
Paige glanced at her phone with a slight groan, shaking her head. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me,"
↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers x oc#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#wcbb#kk arnold#ice brady#uconn women’s basketball#ncaa wbb#paige buckets#uconn wbb x reader#uconn#wbb x reader#wcbb x reader#uconn wcbb#ncaaw#ncaa women’s basketball#uconn women's basketball#women's college basketball#lesbian
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Nerdy bloke ♡
pairing: ArthurTV x f!reader
Instagram!AU
SUMMARY: hard launching/soft launching(?) yours and Arthurs relationship - y/n used for reader as i thought it was stupid to just call her 'username' :)
requested: nope </3 but requests r opened for other youtubers (sidemen, chrismd, willne, calfreezy, etc.) as well for wolverine & deadpool PLEASE SEND REQUESTS
ˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 🧸ྀི
ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩
arthurtv
liked by y/n l/n, georgeclarkeey and 52,632 others
arthurtv: 🏂
tagged: @y/n l/n @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey @chrismd @wroetoshaw
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COMMENTS;
user007: arthur is the kind of guy to tag himself in his own post
y/n l/n: yeah it's bc hes a weirdo
y/n l/n: arthur i hate you, kys
arthurtv: :(
us3r: LMAOOOOOO
wroetoshaw: outrages
userly: love to see this group together <3
user777: THE SECOND PIC OF Y/N FALLING???????
usermybeloved: the third pic of Y/N is so cute wtf?????
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y/n l/n
liked by miniminter, chrismd10 and 42,632 others
y/n l/n: almost died 2day because of these fuckers 🤦♀️
tagged: @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey @chrismd @wroetoshaw
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COMMENTS;
georgeclarkeey: we were so close to killing her lads, im sure we'll succeed next time
y/n l/n: fucking hate you clarke
chrismd10: did you really have to post the fifth picture???
y/n l/n: yes ofc xx
arthurtv: that first picture is really pretty, I wonder who photographed it?
y/n l/n: ah yes, my apologies mr.television, heres your photo creds for one single fucking picture 🤲 xx
arthurtv: ty darling
userxo: DARLING????
userumy: UMMMM EXCUSE ME 👀👀👀
wroetoshaw: you did not almost die calm down
y/n l/n: WTF DO YOU MEAN I DIDNT ALMOST DIE???? YOU AND ARTHUR ALMOST DROPPED ME IN THE 3RD PICTURE MATE
usermybeloved: HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
arthurtv: sorry doll x
y/n l/n: buy me hot chocolate and i'll forgive you
arthurtv: yes ma'am
xeuserxe: DOLL??? MA'AM????? SIR WHAT
user111: LMAOOOO SHE HAS HIM WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER SJFBNCNF
freyanightingale: looking stunning girly xxx
y/n l/n: FREYA MY WIFE ILY!!!!!!
freyanightingale: ❣️❣️❣️
xeuserxe: whos that w you on the fourth photo??
y/n l/n: 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
xeuserxe: hmm...
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savinggracepod
liked by userly, y/n l/n and 15,672 others
savinggracepod: Can you guees who's on tomorrow's pod? 👀😘
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y/n l/n: can't wait to see!!
savinggracepod: cheeky x
userly: MISS @y/n l/n COME HERE
xeuserxe: AHHH cant wait!! Xxx
user007: ❣️❣️❣️
user777: this is going to be good!
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y/n l/n
liked by savinggracepod, userly and 21,652 others
y/n l/n: was my pleasure to be on the @savinggracepod!!! loved talking about crushes 🤭, social media and so much more! GO CHECK OUT THE PODCAST RNN!!!! new yt video coming out in 2 days xx
tagged: @savinggracepod
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COMMENTS;
savinggracepod: was a pleasure to have you!! xx
y/n l/n: 💌💌💌
usermybeloved: cant wait for the new vid! :)
arthurtv: your new vid is bomb, can confirm
y/n l/n: :)
xouserxo: what editing program do you use?
y/n l/n: final cut pro x :)
xouserxo: tysm!!!
user007: i'm intrested in who this crush is...
y/n l/n: 🤭🤭🤭
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y/n l/n
liked by arthurtv, zerkaa and 68,752 others
y/n l/n: @sabrinacarpenter i love you please marry me 💍 also photo creds to mr. television @arthurtv for the 5th pic x
tagged: @sabrinacarpenter @arthurtv @arthurnfhill @chrismd10 @georgeclarkeey
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COMMENTS;
arthurtv: can we get married if sabrina says no 💍?
y/n l/n: ya ofc xx
arthurtv: yay x
userly: OH?????
user777: WHAT
usermybeloved: DO YQLL SEE THIS!?!??!?!????
chrismd10: @arthurtv I better be your best man
georgeclarkeey: your obbsession with her is concerning
y/n l/n: "please please please" shut the fuck upppppp!!!! Xxx
georgeclarkey: rude :/
user007: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
us3r: y/n is an icon
behzingagram: you ditched a sidemen shooting for a concert.. great
y/n l/n: okay so maybe I wasnt sick... whoops! 🤷♀️ xxx I'll be there next week ♡
behzingagram: you better be you bitch
y/n l/n: oh shut up you fat prick
usermybeloved: LOVE THEM SJFNNCNCC
user111: 💀💀💀
arthurtv: thank you for the photo creds doll
y/n l/n: yea yea ur welcome xx
arthurtv: :)
us3r: 'DOLL' ?????????????
ooouserooo: ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?????
useredup: "mr. television" just say yall r togetger atp
y/n l/n: nuh uh
useredup: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH?????
chrismd10: you were so wasted after this lol
y/n l/n: literally was not idk what ur talking about 🙄
chrismd10: arthur literally had to carry you bridal style because you were falling every 2 minutes
y/n l/n: I just wanted to be carried stfu
arthurtv: next time just ask doll, you dont have to almost brake your neck for me to carry you
y/n l/n: ay bet 💪🤭
user505: NAH WHAT
userly: THIS IS INSANE???????????!????????
user007: EXCUSE ME???? SHE WAS CARRIED BRIDAL STYLE BY ARTHUR???? "DOLL"????? "I WANTED TO BE CARRIED"????????? I AM GOING INSANE WHAT THE FUCK???? THE EMONJI COMBO TOO????? AAAAAAAH
taliamar: looking good x
y/n l/n: says you! xxx
faithlouisak: fit
y/n l/n: ❣️❣️❣️
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y/n l/n
liked by arthurtv, stephen_tries and 72,637 others
y/n l/n: date night was a blast w this nerdy bloke <3
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COMMENTS;
arthurtv: did you enjoy yourself doll?
y/n l/n: oh most certantly mr. television
userly: EXCUSE ME WHAT
useredup: WHAT IS HAPPENING
user007: ARTHUR X Y/N DATING CONFIRMED??????????!??????????
user111: LITERALLY GOING INSANE AND FERAL IF THIS ISNT FUCKING ARTHUR AND Y/N TOGETHER IN THOSE PHOTOS I AM GOING TO MURDER SOMEBODY AND THEN MYSELF TOO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK
y/n l/n: please don't murder somebody! or yourself! and if youre going feral pls check that you dont have rabbies!! xxx much love (:
user111: NOW IM GOING CRAZY BECAUSE YOU REPLIED TO HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ksi: the flowers are pathetically cute
arthurtv: shut up
us3r: OH???????
usermybeloved: SCREAAAAMING
user505: ARTHUR THOSE FLOWERS BETTER BE FROM YOU
geenelly: cuties ♡♡♡
y/n l/n: says you! xx
bambinobecky: happines is a good luck on you girly! xxx
y/n l/n: stfu ur to kind 🫂🫂
chrismd10: about damn time
y/n l/n: oh shut up you inbred twat
taliamar: hope you guys enjoyed the resturant!
y/n l/n: YESSS we did!! double date soon? 👀🤭
taliamar: yess x
freyanightingale: the little bows are so cute 🎀
y/n l/n: RIGHT?????? ♡♡♡
user505: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP DYING
georgeclarkeey: disgusting (said with love)
y/n l/n: literally die (said with love)
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y/n l/n & arthurtv
liked by vikkstagram, tobjizzle and 120,321 others
y/n l/n: IT IS FINALLY TIME!!!!!! NOT ONLY TO ANNOUNCE ARTHURS AND MINES RELATIONSHIP BUT TO ALSO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR!!!!!!! Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, where to start? Well first of all I'd like to wish you a happy 28th birthday my love! I geniuenly hope you enjoyed it, that you liked all of the gifts and that you enjoyed your birthday with the people you love and who love you too! There are not enough words in the english language to describe how wonderful you are, and how much I love you. You're the kindest, most smartest and funniest person I know, with the goofiest smile and silliyest ideas too. The way you care for others and how you always try to include people and help everyone around you makes my love you even more. Arthur you're the Deadpool to my Wolverine, the Sun to my Moon, the fucking love of my life. I love you to fucking death Arthur. Thank you for everything you've given me, and once more I wish you a very very happy birthday my love.
tagged: @arthurtv
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COMMENTS;
arthurtv: Y/n youre making me cry and the guys are laughing this is not funny :( also i love you too ❤
y/n l/n: ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
tobjizzle: happy birthday man! 🫂 so happy for you guys 😇
ksi: happy bday 💪💪💪also congrats too
vikkstagram: 🌟🫂
stephen_tries: hes crying a river y/n
freyanightingale: AHHHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET!!!
wroetoshaw: atp that mans drink will become pure water with how much tears are falling into it
behzingagram: sap
y/n l/n: shut the fuck up
taliamar: 🫂🫂🫂
miniminter: happy for you guys, and happy birthday arthur!
bambinobecky: SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS AAA!!!! Happy birthday!
faithlouisak: 🫂🫂
geenelly: HDHCJCJCJC SO HAPPY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR
arthurnfhill: y/n my shirt is soaking wet make the man stop crying
callux: did not expect to see arthur cry 😭
calfreezy: best couple in 2024??? 👀👀
y/n l/n: YESSIR
theburntchip: y/n get that man some tissues pls
user111: MOM AND DAD ARE FINALLY TOGETHER AAAAAAAA
user505: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP DYING THIS IS REAL THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL
user777: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR OHMYGOD
us3r: FIANALLY!!!!!!
useredup: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! HAPPY BDAY ARTHUR!!!!
usermybeloved: FUCK YEAAAAAH!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🗣🗣🗣
xeuserxe: HELL YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH BABY
xouserxo: ❣️❣️🫂🫂
user007: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR!!! 🎉🎉🎉
user707: FUCK YEWAAAH!!!! ALSO THE COMMENTS SAYING THAT ARTHUR IS CRYING????? HDNDJCJJC I LIVE YALL HAPPY BDAY ARTHUR!!!!!
us3r: JDNFJCJC LOVE ALL THE SHIRTLESS PICS 😭😭😭😭
userly: DIDOWJCJDHCHHC THE FIRST PIC IS SO FUNNY TO ME JDNDJCJ HAPPY BDAY AND CONGRATS!!!!
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y/n l/n added to their story!
⤷ arthurtv liked y/n l/n's story! ♡
⤷ arthurtv: love you 2 (:
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#arthurtv#arthurtv x reader#x reader#x female reader#x fem!reader#x f!reader#instagram au#social media au#youtube#youtuber#youtuber x reader#i love him so much#<3333
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Nah, I'm Better.
divider by @cafekitsune
✦A/N: OK! this took longer than expected but LISTEN! I'm here now and probably will be dropping more frequently (hopefully). Reader is also a slut I mean she could talk me through it and I'd let her. But I tried to eat down as much as possible for this fic so the girlies and the gays wouldn't starve. Gojo is driving my dream car, a girl can only imagine.
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Synopsis: You and Satoru have been best friends since elementary school. By the time you both made it to college he’s hated every single partner you’ve ever had. Your recent ex isn’t any different, but he’s doing something about it this time.
⋆.ೃ࿔*・wc: 2,887
⋆.ೃ࿔*Warnings: best friends to lovers, praise, car sex, arguments (ish), cowgirl, choking, handjob, p in v, no protection, finishing inside (practice safe sex)
(the reader is black)
If you had a dollar for every time you and Satoru got mistaken for a couple you’d be rich, not richer than him. He loves it when people mistake him for your boyfriend. It’s the ego boost he doesn’t need. He’s liked you for a while but you always shut him down. Either for another guy or because you see him as just a “friend”. You knew that was a lie, you didn’t want to ruin the friendship between you guys. So to buried your feelings for Satoru and used other men as a distraction. Fuck buddies, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, you name it. Nothing was ever successful; it always ended in heartbreak or fights. Satoru hated that you went for men who were lower than your standard.
He hated that you didn’t go for him. That’s part of the reason why he’s parked outside a fancy restaurant waiting for you to walk out.
You thought this guy was the one, you’d been talking for a couple weeks, going on dates, even fucked a few times. But no people always have to ruin it, it was fun while it lasted. Mahito was a guy you met off of Tinder. He was nice, sweet, and probably the realest guy you’ve ever met. That was until date number four when he brought up his love for podcasts. Specifically a podcast by the name ‘Fresh and Fit’, you know the podcast that goes around and hates on women for a check.
What a loser…
After learning that information you left the date immediately. Leaving him with a “Get a life, nigga.” before quickly walking out of the restaurant. The cold drizzle of rain calms your nerves as you heave out a soft sigh. Your eyes meet a familiar and sleek all-black Ford Bronco. An air of comfort travels throughout your body. You haven’t been this excited to see Satoru since…ever. He’s already looking in your direction with his cheeky smile, flashing you his pearly white teeth. He’s always been handsome, your whole life was spent watching girls and even guys swoon over him. You can’t even remember if he accepted any of the advances, you don’t even think he’s had a girlfriend that you know of.
His jagged blue eyes met your dark brown ones and it’s like a firework went off in front of you. Your waist-length knotless braids, glossy plump lips, and warm brown skin have him in a chokehold. The way your honey-glazed skin complimented your outfit made him want to rip it off right there. Luckily his windows are tinted enough to hide his very noticeable lustful gaze, but you felt his eyes burning holes into your head. With a visible frown on your face, you swiftly open the car door. You come face to face with Satoru’s fuck boy grin, you almost melt on the spot.
“When I said ‘call me for emergencies.’ It didn’t include shitty dates.”
You roll your eyes before playfully punching his arm. Satoru speeds out of the parking lot before you can even put your seatbelt on. Your back hits the seat roughly before you send a glare Satoru’s way.
“Chill out, nigga damn. You didn’t even hear how the date went and you’re already mad.”
“I’m mad because you didn’t listen to me. I told you not to trust that fucking loser, now look at where we are.”
You could hear his eyes rolling before you saw it. He’s the leader of the sassy man apocalypse and he never denies it. You grimaced at the undeniable truth that he was right, and you knew it. You cross your arms over your chest and gaze out at the widow districting yourself with the scenery.
“Hey…look at me.”
His light-hearted voice quickly melted in your ears like honey. He softly gripped your chin and turned your face to his. He analyzed your expression for a moment. Admiring your features, planning your future, imagining his cock inside of you. He’s quickly brought out of his thoughts when you playfully push his hand away.
“Hands off, this makeup took time.”
He scuffs at your statement before looking back at the busy road. You analyze him for a while, taking in his features. Your thoughts are more innocent than his, and you hope it stays that way.
“Listen…I’m sorry I didn’t listen. But, niggas man you don’t understand. They’re all so annoying.”
The more you think about your past rendezvous the more it turned into torture. Satoru knew about every failed date. He was always there to be a shoulder to cry on and a dick to ride if you asked him. He knows very well about your tragic love life, he doesn’t remember a successful relationship you’ve been in. He lectured you every time he picked you up from a bad date or situationship ending in ‘So, what are we?’. He wasn’t upset with you, he was more upset that you refused to see his obvious feelings for you.
“This is just starting to get repetitive. (✧), This is just...nevermind”
He smacked his lips at the end of his statement. A habit he picked up from you after all of the years you two have spent together. His mouth opens to say something else but nothing comes out. He huffs and runs his hand through his hair, he’s frustrated by the current events.
“Don’t get an attitude with me. You think I want to date guys like this?”
Your accusatory tone makes his attention shift slightly from the road. He scans his brain for what to say. He doesn’t want to upset you anymore but he also didn’t want to sugarcoat anything. As a wannabe lover, he wants nothing but the best for you even if it means telling you a harsh reality.
Your taste in men is shit.
He doesn’t have enough fingers or toes to list off the amount of guys that hurt you in the past. Nanami was too formal for you, Toji was a bum that leeched off of you, Sukuna was an asshole, and Satoru would’ve killed Suguru if he even attempted to flirt with you.
“No, you know what I mean. You deserve better than these dumbasses you go after.”
The venom in his voice is very noticeable. Satoru’s carefree nature is cracking under the stress of your love life. Your stubborn nature refuses to let you back down to him, especially when he’s like this.
“Toru’ I can date and fuck who I want! I don’t need to be lectured by you. I understand that you care, but let me live my life.”
Your response almost sent Satoru out of the car. His eyes twitched in annoyance and his knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel. You watch the way his jaw tightened and his muscles flexed. It turned you on, a lot. As much as you hate to admit it, you looove making him mad. It was just the way his relaxed facade melted away when you threw careless sentences at him. His foot softly pressed on the brake when coming to a red light. He slowly shifted his body to face you, if looks could fuck he’d be fucking you right now. Just the thought of him bending you over the center console had your clit aching.
“Do not say that, I will crash this car right now and kill us both.”
He glanced at you with a smirk trying to lighten the melancholy-stricken mood. You scuff at his childish antics.
“Oh my god, be for real-”
Ring…
Your phone buzzed in your purse, and your soon-to-be lecture got cut short. Your eyes widened when you saw the caller I.D. read ‘Mahito’. You let it ring for a few seconds before finally answering it.
“Why are you calling me? I told you we were over.”
Satoru's ears perked when he heard the hostility in your voice. There was a snarky voice on the other end and they were loudly throwing a fit. His eyes analyzed your expression and the way your calmness was replaced with annoyance.
“You don’t think I can do better than you?…You’re one goofy ass nigga, you know that?…Whatever, fuck you!”
You harshly shoved your phone into your purse and groaned. The awkward silence was almost tangible; you would have to cut it with a chainsaw. Mahito’s words circled in your head and it pissed you off more and more. Who does he think he is? You hum slightly when a very filthy idea comes to your mind.
“Satoru, I need you to take me somewhere.”
。.。:∞♡*
“Why the fuck are we here? Please don’t tell me you’re about to do something stupid.”
Satoru’s tone is laced with worry and confusion. He has no clue why he was parked outside of Mahito’s house right now and he didn’t know why you wanted to come here. You give him a cheeky smile before unbuckling your seatbelt and slowly leaning over the center console. You’re incredibly close to Satoru’s face, your nose practically touching his. All you can do is stare sensually into his ice-blue eyes, but the sense of longing is undeniably visible.
“What are you doing?”
His voice spills out lowly like silk touching your ears. You take in a breath before crashing your lips into his. He’s caught by surprise but that’s quickly replaced with lust. His veiny hands quickly trace every curve on your body and tangle his fingers in your braids. You pull away taking in the wonderful scenery that Satoru was turned into. His cheeks are flushed and his hair is messy. You both stare at each other in awe and affection. It’s like something was unlocked in the middle of this little plan of revenge.
“Get in the back.”
You nod before watching him walk out and around as you climb in the back. He opens the back door and stares at you for a moment, taking in the way your skirt is hiked up and your shirt tousled around. He quickly gets in and closes the door, basically pouncing on you. His mouth attacks your neck quickly, leaving several bite marks and hickeys. Without breaking the kiss you roughly pushed him onto the car door behind him. He lets out a low groan and rests his hands on your waist. You reach down and fumble with his belt buckle before finally breaking the kiss and using your hands.
“If you need help you could’ve just asked.”
“Shut up.”
He chokes out a gasp when you take his cock out of his boxers. You wrap your manicured hand around his big cock and slowly massage the length. You trace circles around his tip with your thumb. A low groan settles at the bottom of his throat as silence sighs escape his lips. He unscrewed his eyes to meet the brazen expression on your face. His chuckles and mixed moans are sending you over the edge. You reach down and caress your clit through your panties. Satoru doesn’t fall ignorant of this and quickly grabs your hand to stop the satisfying motion.
“Suck it, I want your mouth.”
He let out a low chuckle as you took his full length into your mouth. You let out a whine as the tip of his cock touched the back of your throat. Satoru’s head flew back in pleasure as his hand rested comfortably on top of your head. He can sense your greed from the way your tongue moves along his tip. He sighed out a moan and softly pushed your head down further.
“F-fuck…you’re doing so well.”
He stifles a throaty moan with his free hand and laces his hands in your hair. You were quick to grab his wrist and yank his hand away. You trailed soft kisses up the length of his cock, from base to tip.
“I wanna hear you, pretty boy. Let me hear you.”
Your voice was soothing and soft it probably could’ve put him to sleep if it weren’t for the current circumstances. He melted at your command and quickly left his hand to the side. You tease his leaking tip with your tongue before putting it all in your mouth again. His mouth goes agape as slutty moans spill out and his hands grip your hair tightly. The way your head is bobbing up and down on his cock has his mind going blank. His cock twitches in your mouth before he quickly shoves your head away.
“I don’t want to cum yet. C’mon get on top, ride what’s yours.”
You swiftly straddle his lap and he pushes your panties to the side. You wrap your arms around him as he slowly pushes you on his hard cock. You let a soft moan and tug at Satoru’s hair. He moans in response and pushes you down deeper.
“Shit…fuck me, c’mon.”
His mouth is hovering over your ear and his voice is low and seductive. You slowly start to rock your hips and grind on his cock. After adjusting to his size you messily start bouncing on his cock. Strings of curses spew out of his mouth and his grip on your waist gets tighter.
“Like this baby? Mmph…you’re so big.”
The constant praise is making the blood rush to his face. He hides his blushing face in your shoulder and leaves several bite marks. The car windows turn foggy and the only thing illuminating the car is the moonlight. Satoru’s moans can probably be heard from blocks away. His hands are under your sweater groping and squeezing your plush breast. His fingers pull and twist at your nipples as your pace gets messy.
“Give me your hand…”
His voice is carnal and vibrating in your ear. It makes your clit twitch and your tempo stagger. You untangle your hand from his hair and place your hand in his. He takes two of your fingers and places them in his mouth. He doesn’t break eye contact, he’s just looking at you like a meal waiting to be devoured. He slowly sucks them and swirls his tongue around them. The scene in front of you is so sensual and slow, you’ve never experienced something so intimate before. He slowly pulls your fingers out of his as a saliva trail is the only thing left behind.
“Play with your clit for me. I wanna watch while you bounce on my cock.”
His voice moves like velvet through your body. It’s like he’s talking right to your pussy and she’s answering very loudly. The moment your hand reaches your clit Satoru plunges his cock into you. His thrust gets more violent and his large cock attacks your cervix. Your head dips back in pleasure in the constant assault on your insides.
He’s starting to unravel like a present. His strokes get messier, sweet liquid spilling everywhere, his moans getting louder and more frequent. His nail prints are embedded on your love handles and your thighs are a wet mess.
“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. C’mon baby you can do it.”
His pleading sends shivers down your spine. You’ve never seen him so desperate before, it was empowering that your pussy brought him down a few notches. His pussy drunk stare is intoxicating to look at. The way he’s looking at you with his eyes half-lidded with nothing but lust in them. There was something about the way he looked at you; it wasn't just lust. It was like you were a necessity to him, he needed you.
“Mmph…baby I’m ‘bouta cum!”
“Cum for me, you’d make me so proud. Cum on my cock princess.”
Satoru replaced your hand with his and traced circles on your clit. With his hand working its magic and his cock peppering kisses on your cervix sends you crazy. The car is rocking very noticeably but you could care less. Your climax crashes onto you like a ton of bricks. Your juices spill all over his thick cock and coat his length in a slippery mess. His warm and sticky ropes decorate your insides, leaving his pants soaked and a wet ring around the base of his cock.
“That’s it, I’m so proud of you baby.”
He tenderly pulls out and holds you tight to him, taking in the moment. You rest your forehead on his shoulder, you both desperately trying to catch whatever air is left in your lungs. You hear Satoru chuckle slowly while tracing kisses on your neck.
“What’s so funny? Did my pussy make you delirious or what?”
He shakes his head and lifts your head softly and turns it towards the window. While swallowed by lust you didn’t notice Satoru rolled the window down. Mahito is staring in awe and anger; he looks like he is about to explode. Satoru’s chuckle turns into a full-blown cackle as he glances at Mahito, sending him that cheeky smile that you love so much. You join Satoru in his joyous laughter before reaching over and rolling up the window.
“At least my plan worked. Let’s do it again but this time with handcuffs.”
#x black fem reader#x black reader#x black y/n#x fem!reader#jjk x black reader#jjk#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x black reader#jjk x black y/n#jjk x black!fem reader#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#smut#jjk smut
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Just not him
・❥・ Your situationship doesn’t like that you were seen with another man
・❥・word count: 1.2k
・❥・warnings: Homelander and The Deep (they’re their own warnings), fade to black smut, Homie is a little toxic, supe!reader
・❥・I don't write smut because I'm not good at it, but I'm not good at it because I don't write it, a viscous cycle.
Also sorry if this doesn't make much sense I was in and out of consciousness while writing 😝
"No. No way am I doing that."
"(Y/n), your sexuality is part of your brand. May I remind you your approval rates are going down by the minute." Madelyn sighs.
"Yeah, I get that, but you expect me to go out there and flirt with The Deep? I'd be making a fool of myself." Your cheeks are hot as you try to defend yourself.
"Ah, ah, you'd be making a spectacle, and that's exactly what we need right now. Drama, scandal, rumors."
"And it has to be him?" You deadpanned. "It can't be anyone else? What about Homelander?" You felt yourself becoming desperate.
“Homelander? And you?” A smile breaks out on her face, but she tries to hide it. “I don’t mean any offense, but you two aren’t an ideal pair up.” She talks to you like you’re a child. You fight the urge to tell her that you and Homelander are actually a very good pair. “Anyways, recently you and The Deep have been trending, as a couple.” You scoff.
Recently on a podcast with some man you’re sure is very popular in a different crowd, The Deep confessed that he found you to be the most attractive member of The Seven. Ever since then a burst of videos were posted of cute moments between the two of you, which turned into edits, which turned into fan art, which turned into fanfiction. You fought the urge to gag, who even makes that stuff? From a marketing perspective, it made for great business, a romance angle brought new eyes to the scene. To you, it was demeaning.
“Fine. But I’m not going to take this any further than a few flirtatious remarks at tomorrow’s gala.” You remind yourself it’s not good to anger someone like Madelyn, she’s scarier than she lets on. Madelyn nods and you walk out of her office, much more embarrassed than you were when you entered. As you stormed down the hallway to the safety of your own home, none other than The Deep greeted you.
Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.
“Hey! How are you doing today, cutie?” He starts. He practically salivates as he walks beside you. You feel like you’re gonna be sick.
“I’m not in the mood right now.”
“C’mon, why don’t you let me take you out for a drink or two? We’re supposed to be all over each other tom-“
“Not in the mood!” You cut him off. Your walking increases to practically sprinting until you reach your home. You slam the door shut behind you. You shrugged off your clothes and crawled into bed. No way in hell were you getting out of bed until the last possible minute.
You stood, still as a statue. You wore a deep purple outfit. The silks enveloped your body in a sexy, yet elegant way. You had never felt more bored in your life. The Deep had his hand positioned on your lower back, where it had been all night. You had already talked to everyone important, you made sure the photographers got enough shots of you coquettishly whispering in The Deep’s ear, or leaning on him while being in conversation. You had taken notice to the fact that Homelander had yet to arrive. The gala would be ending soon, and without an appearance from the leader of The Seven himself. His absence further ruined your mood.
You and Homelander were in a bit of a situationship. There was no official label for your relationship. He’d come to your house just to sleep with you one day, then act like you two were strangers the next. You had learned to accept that nothing serious would come from the relationship. But there was still a part of you that wished he had come tonight.
“(Y/n), big smiles.” The Deep reminded. “Why do you look so fucking depressed?” His voice was low enough that it would look like casual banter to any outsider. His hold on the small of your back grew tight.
“Back off and mind your own business.” You said through gritted teeth. You forced a coy smile and blush onto your face as if he had just said something really flustering to you.
“Hey you two!” You felt your brows furrow. Sometime between two minutes ago, when you last scanned the room, and now Homelander had entered, and without you noticing. Your fake smile melted into a real one.
“Homelander.” You greeted. The Deep pulled you in impossibly closer. He didn’t say anything, just nodded. You had a feeling he was scared of Homelander.
“Do you mind if I borrow them?” Homelander asked The Deep. All of you knew it wasn’t a question, just a thinly veiled demand. “You seem to have them chained down.” He laughed, referring to the vice grip currently on your back. After a second the hold was gone, The Deep had already walked off to get himself another drink.
It was just you and Homelander now. He moved close to you to whisper in your ear.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked with a plastic smile. You felt your stomach drop.
“My job.” You shot back with an equally fake smile. You watched as his cheeks turned red with anger.
“No.” He grabbed your wrist. “We’re leaving.” You planted your feet in the ground.
“Excuse you?”
“I said, we’re leaving.” He hissed.
“They’ll have my head if I’m seen leaving with you.”
“They can fucking suck it up. I’m The Homelander. I get who I want, when I want. We’re leaving.” He dragged you by the wrist to pull you out the back doors. You were acutely aware that all the photographers turned away their cameras after seeing the expression on Homelander’s face.
The cold night air curled around your exposed skin, but you had no time to even breathe it in before your head hit the wall behind you and Homelander’s lips were on yours. His hands gripped your waist as he pulled you closer to him. You push him away, sucking in deep breaths.
“What’s gotten into you? Why are you acting like this?” You ask breathlessly. You can’t say you don’t enjoy this possessiveness, but he’s never made such a scene for you before, especially in public. He doesn’t answer before pulling you back into another hungry kiss.
He pulls away, his breath hot against your neck. “You’re mine. All fucking mine. No one else can have you, especially not that fucker Deep.” He pants. His grip tightened in a way you’re sure would bruise if it wasn’t for your invulnerable skin. “Fucking say it. Say that you’re mine.” A tone of pathetic desperation creeps into his voice. You smile and curl your fingers in his hair.
You wish Madelyn could see you now. Not a good pair, as if.
“I’m yours, Homelander.” You assure him. He whines against your collarbone. You’re sure tomorrow he’ll go back to pretending none of this happened, but for now you revel in his attention. “Why don’t you show them that I belong to you?”
It’s so petty, just a cheap way to stick it in Madelyn’s face. Homelander grins as he tries to suck a hickey on your neck. Both of your smiles quickly faded at the realization that there’s no way to bruise invincible skin. “Shit.” You cursed under your breath. Homelander looked up at you with his big blue eyes. You run your fingers through his hair.
“I’m sure you could show them in a different way.” You smirked.
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⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓
Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)
Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree
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⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.
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⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.
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⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(
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⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).
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⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.
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⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)
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⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀
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⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy
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⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)
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⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).
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⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)
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⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.
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Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨
Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰
Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸
#astro notes#venus in the signs#astro observations#venus notes#astrology observations#planet venus#astro community
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