#shut up eris damn

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

i love sunlight that makes peoples eyes glow i love the feeling of the wind in my hair i love the ocean breeze i love clouds and sun i love the sound of leaves rustling i love grass i love the sound of dogs barking i love the rain i love nature. love is everywhere. hope this helps

[vxsellie]

*wipes sweat from brow*

phew. finally finished updating my masterlist

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

would you be willing to drop your key to vector sigma rant? i'm curious about your thoughts. personally i get both the in universe and out of universe reasons why op gave the key to jack but ngl it always kinda annoyed me. i do actually like him but at the same time i think he's the least interesting character they could've picked for that job

OHOHOHOHO PREPARE FOR THE RANT OF THE CENTURY BABEY I HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS;;;; I apologize in advance for the length of this complete disaster hjbvfbhjfdvbhjvfdbhjvdfjbhvdfbhjvdfbjhfvbjhdvf

I will also admit in advance I'm very Miko-biased, I absolutely ADORE Miko, she's my bestie in my soul and I've always loved her. So this will be super Miko-biased and not very organized. It's more word vomit I'm sorry bhjvfhbvfbhjdvfbj

Miko deserved the key because, full fucking stop, she had the most character development of any of the humans in S1. Full stop. Jack did NOT have as much development as Miko did in comparison to the amount of screentime, and also he HESITATES. CONSTANTLY.

In the first episodes that we see of the kids, Miko's all in, to her own detriment. She doesn't take seriously the amount of danger she's in because she's so excited to be part of something fun for once. She said that she's spent her entire childhood being "the perfect kid". Perfect grades, piano lessons, extracurriculars, etc. Girl was neck deep in her parent's expectations- she tells this to Jack when she talks about why she came to Jasper in the first episodes [and jokes that the brochure lied]. When she's persuading him to come back, by the by, when SHE never left even in the face of danger.

Miko does consistently go into danger, yeah, but she also develops from that AND show's she's willing to be brave and take risks. She's the reason they get the picture of the equations on the Nemesis when they get on it in the start of the series, and she NEVER backs down from it. She's the only one of the humans willing to face it, head-on, and try and figure out their problems. She's also the one that is the most willing to come and help- even asking what she can do in early episodes not just so she can be there and see cool things, but so she can actually contribute to them.

Jack, in those same early episodes, is turning away from everything. He tries to avoid the bots when they summon him to meet Optimus, he tries to leave once things get dicey in the first episodes, and he tries to stay out of most things. He handles things when he's forced into it most of the time, on top of Dumbass Teenage Boy Syndrome that makes me wanna slam my head into a wall repeatedly. His interactions with Sierra are indeed proper Teen Boy Behaviour and props to them for the writing but also I scream lmfao like BRO

But seriously. Jack isn't the one to usually dive in and help. Him getting the key was just because he's The Main Human Boy and it was the 2010s so. yeah. But he didn't change nearly as much as Miko did, he only started helping the bots because they became important to him- Miko was always willing to help no matter what, even before she had a deeper relationship with anyone. FFS, she was willing to fight off Soundwave's tentacle WITH AN AXE, and when that went sideways? JACK BLAMED HER FOR "GIVING IT AN AXE" WHEN SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE FIGHTING OFF SOUNDWAVE SO RAF COULD DO HIS THING. She also was COMPLETELY ready to fight off literal armed soldiers ON A MOVING TRAIN and even verbally warn them to back off.

Miko's also smart as fuck. We see that academically, she knows what's up in Deus Ex Machina, because the second she actually had to try she managed to talk to a security guard about her report on Greek history for LITERAL HOURS, and says she could repeat stuff that "she didn't know she knew". Miko also thinks on the fly on how to solve issues. When they saw the security camera in that episode? She right away took an upside-down pic to make it look like nothing was happening while they got the orb. Miko ALSO was willing to take point even when it meant security got her or that she was at risk of the Decepticons kidnapping her. She put HERSELF in the way of them getting to her friends instead. She also understands people, especially Bulkhead- like in Operation: Breakdown.

In that episode, not even OPTIMUS HIMSELF could convince Bulkhead to help them rescue Breakdown. Optimus even tried to spin it as "well, you know, he has a chance to change and also MECH sucks" which. You know. Doesn't work. She, instead, plays into what she KNOWS will convince Bulkhead- "no rescue, no rematch". And what happens? BULKHEAD SAVES BREAKDOWN. Without Miko, Breakdown would have literally died because Bulk wouldn't have gone to get him. SHE'S the reason MECH didn't get to do their full dissection and potentially go through their bastard plans even sooner than they could have!!! All because she knew Bulkhead wasn't buying the "he can change" route- instead, taking note of them being rivals, and urging him using what she KNEW would work. Miko's the entire reason he went at all.

You can also see that Jack is WAY too cautious compared to the others in Shadowzone. When Raf drops his glasses and says he can't see without them, Jack [like a dumbass] says they have to leave them because it's dangerous when, you know.... Raf needs to be able to see. Hard to see where you're going when you're functionally blind. But while he still insists [also not noting how Raf won't leave without them considering he's like, 12] what does Miko do? She dives out there, gets the glasses, and heads back like a BADASS and then they keep running away from Skyquake's reanimated corpse. She doesn't hesitate, she sees the problem and solves it so they can keep moving- instead of wasting time trying to convince Raf to run blind like Jack does.

He's also a dick to her at the end of the episode, as instead of... you know... being nice to her after they all survived A ZOMBIE ATTACK, he rubs in how she admits what she did was really reckless. When Miko is showing she's clearly willing to learn from her mistakes, he rubs it in like a jackass. Again- teen boy behaviour. But it DOES show immaturity, compared to Miko actually being really mature in that moment and showing she's willing to admit she shouldn't have done that. The bots also know how important it was to her to get pictures and apologize for it- so. You know. He could very easily not be a dick.

Jack also doesn't show he's any better than her with rushing into things [like charging into places] in Rock Bottom [which I just recently re-watched] where Miko runs into the mines and Jack acts like she's ~so stupid for it~ but what does he do?

HE FUCKIN LOOKS AT ARCEE LIKE 'uwu pwease can I go in also I'll be good owo' RIGHT AFTER INSULTING MIKO FOR WANTING TO CHECK IT OUT. So, hypocrisy.

Jack's only moment of having a "key moment" was when he refused to kill Megatron because "Optimus wouldn't, not like this" and he leaves. That's it. Meanwhile, Miko is willing to try and DIG OUT A WALL WITH HER BARE HANDS TO FREE BULKHEAD WHEN THEY'RE STUCK IN THERE. She's not willing to leave him, has to be convinced to bang a rock on his foot to make noise [because she doesn't want to hurt him]. Even when Starscream walks in and tries to fuckin grab her, Miko STILL REFUSES TO LEAVE BULKHEAD. She isn't willing to leave him behind, period, or ANYONE behind at all. She only barely agrees to leave with Jack with a LOT on persuading from Bulk, and she's crying when they do because she cares so much about him. The bond she's built with Bulkhead really shines in that episode, and it shows just how loyal she is to her loved ones. She would straight up rather be buried in rock with him rather than even consider abandoning him there.

So Miko is willing to admit when she fucks up, isn't a dick to others about it, knows how to read people and what they need to keep going, won't abandon her teammates, and is unflinchingly brave. She is a fighter through and through, more so than the other humans are. She doesn't have as much screentime as Jack, yet she STILL shows all these traits and shows character growth. Jack, meanwhile... well, he's still pretty boring. He doesn't change much. When he gets the key, it doesn't feel earned at all. It just feels like it was obligatory because he's The Main Human Boy™ and that's what Main Human Boys™ get.

But imagine if Miko got the key. It would be an acknowledgement of how she's helped and how she's always willing to as well. She never needs to be persuaded, she's never afraid to face danger- everything. It also would have been an epic chance for Jack's character as well, considering- again- he's got a few moments where he's kinda a dick to Miko.

If Miko got the key, it could seriously drill in the heavy feeling of responsibility. It would have been a GREAT addition to her arc, really able to emphasize that she has a ton of good traits and how with some refinement, she'd make an amazing leader. It also would have really defied expectations at the time and given Miko the spotlight she really deserved. There's a reason people like her! So Miko would have this great responsibility, Optimus would be openly acknowledging that she's great as she is [and doesn't have to be perfect, emphasizing how she is better off as herself rather than the perfection expected of her back at home] and it could further lead into Miko maturing even more.

Meanwhile, Jack NOT getting the key and instead knowing SHE got it could be a serious kick in the ass. He'd have to grapple with his feelings about that, confront how he responded to her and the times he'd belittled her attempts to help [ex; fighting off Soundwave with the axe] and such. He'd have to see and acknowledge her good traits [especially her incredible bravery] and how critical that's been to them. He'd have to acknowledge that she DOES help, and everyone would have to take her more seriously. Jack would have to step the fuck up and proactively choose to do more, meanwhile Miko- getting that responsibility- could learn to reel in her reckless tendencies and instead refine her bravery and leadership skills. It'd be better for them both as characters, and it also means Miko gets to go into space LIKE SHE FUCKING DESERVES.

Basically, Miko had so much going for her even with less screentime than Jack, meanwhile Jack didn't develop much at all and pretty much had to be yeeted into most situations- meanwhile Miko was proactive. Is she reckless at times? Yes, for sure, but this would have been the PERFECT way to help her curb that. Optimus telling her about this key, how important it is, and how she needs to guard it could really show how well Miko does under pressure... as she consistently has! It'd also feel pretty natural for Optimus to acknowledge her efforts and reward it, but Jack? It didn't feel like he earned it at all. Miko it would have felt earned and opened the doors to even MORE development for her, rather than Jack being more of the damn same.

Also. Again. Homegirl fucking rules. Even just from a simple standpoint, she's a far more interesting character and would have been more engaging for her to get the key [a less predictable outcome] instead of Jack [a very predictable outcome]. Especially when she has more consistently shown a willingness to face danger head-on, willingly, rather than handle it only when tossed into it like a sack of bleached potatoes. Miko would just have been SUCH a good choice, both for her personally and for everyone around her.

We also KNOW Miko can kick ass when she gets that armour later in the series, so on top of all the other epic stuff about homegirl, she is 1000% able to fuckin DESTROY the enemies if given the right tools. She has battle prowess.

Jack's just;;;; legit too cautious. He doesn't have the willingness to get in the weeds like Miko does, it's SO bullshit that he got the key. And Megatron's "I never forget a face" line is SUPER WASTED on him. Especially because, again, Miko gets that armour later. That line would have been SO much better with Miko, especially if she actually got to battle him in that armour later- because then he'd have a reason not to forget the human who's actually willing to stand against him. Because we ALL know she would.

[daycourtofficial]

Tell me I’m the only, only, only, only one - part two

Pairing: Eris x Azriel x reader | WC: 3.5k | warnings: mentions of violence

Summary: heading back to the townhouse to wallow in self pity is thwarted when Azriel follows you. Giving a part of himself to you, can some form of amends be made?

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You had to leave. You couldn’t stay there and look at Azriel and Eris. You felt almost like you were on trial, as if they were sizing you up to determine if you were worth their effort.

Eris - well, he didn’t act out of character from what you had been told about him. Azriel’s silence was the worst part of it all, waiting to hear him say something about wanting you, defending you from Eris’s gaze.

Instead you could hear the pause after Eris said he could convince Azriel to reject you. The callousness with how he regarded you was something you weren’t going to forget for a long time. Your chest was in pain, your heart crying out for the mate who hurt you.

You hurried down the hall, closing your bedroom door behind you, shoving a chair in front of it so Azriel couldn’t get in.

The house was silent, a fact you had appreciated only an hour ago, but now felt consumed by it. Was this how your chest would feel when Azriel rejected the bond - silent, empty, hollow?

You ripped open drawers, pulling out a bag and stuffing it with whatever clothes you thought necessary. If Azriel can pack a bag and go to a secret cabin, surely you can pack a bag and go somewhere yourself.

You had to get out of this house, at least to think, to get it all straight in your head. Maybe you could go to the Townhouse. Hardly anyone used it - you and Azriel would stay in it when Cassian and Nesta were particularly loud and longlasting.

A sharp pain shot through you at the memory - finding Azriel at the dining room table in the dead of night at the House of Wind, his shadows swirling around his ears, deep in thought. How his arms were strong around you, flying the two of you through Velaris. How the city glowed through his wings, the membranous skin so delicate and see through. How you had lingered in your bedroom door, foolishly hoping he might just kiss you.

The memory taints itself, your mouth filling with a bad taste. He had a mate when he had done that. It meant nothing to him.

He was your mate. But you weren’t his.

Tears started clouding your vision, irritating you more than anything. You wiped angrily at your face, clearing your tears just enough to see. It was chaos - you grabbed willy nilly from your underwear drawer, pulling out random pants and tops.

It was instinctual to grab for the stuffed kitty sitting on your bed. It was a birthday gift from Azriel. He was gone on a mission, but somehow the box was on your bed with a note that sat in your drawer.

‘He’ll keep you safe when I can’t’.

Damned stupid thing - didn’t protect you from this heartache. You grabbed it anyway, certain you’d want the comfort of crying into such familiarity.

You closed your bag, grabbing the handle before hustling through the house. You made it to the balcony, winnowing your way to the edge of the townhouse’s wards.

You sprinted to get inside, not wanting anyone to see the foolishness of this night on you. You made it to one of the guest rooms, shutting the door to seal yourself in. You sank to the floor, wrapping your arms around your knees.

It was then you noticed your mistake. The undeniable scent of pine hit your nostrils, making your eyes well up immediately.

He had been here recently, three days ago at most. Three days ago you would have given anything to throw yourself into a bed that smelled like him, to bask in the tangling of your scents as you slept.

This was great.

Your thoughts were a war in your mind, uncertain which direction to take. To stay here, to have his scent cling to you while you cried over him felt both cathartic and overwhelming. You could move to another room, but you’d have to get up off the floor and pick up your bag and that seemed like more effort than you could handle.

You sat on the wooden floor, tears streaming down your face. This was wrong. This was all wrong. You had never heard of anyone having two mates - the Mother loving someone so much she allowed them some choice in the matter.

Maybe they did exist, but the untethered, the unwanted mate got left out of history books.

That would be you. Too late and untethered, lost to history as someone who ‘was there but not important’. Was that what you would become to Azriel? A story for dinner parties?

‘I once had two mates..’

The thought made your stomach churn.

You sat crumpled on the floor for ages, practically melding into the floor board with each staggering breath. The heartache felt endless, neverending emotional damage at the knowledge you obtained tonight.

My mate’s mate.

What a gut churning title you had become.

Your fate was to remain here for as long as it hurt.

Madja wouldn’t need you for a few days, your planned vacation from work a slap in the face at how it all turned out. You couldn’t explain to her why you were back early, and you weren’t certain the old healer would even allow you back. Madja constantly expressed how important it was for healers to rest and take time off.

Hopefully sleep will find you sooner rather than later.

Pools of darkness curled around you, tiny slithers of shadow dancing in the puddles of tears littering the floor. One of them slithered up the air, catching a tear as it fell, cradling it. The shadow held your tear with such tenderness it threatened to consume you whole.

The moment was broken by the harsh knock on the door, a desperate plea of your name from Azriel’s lips sending chills down your spine. His voice was both a cloak of comfort and the source of your anger.

You wanted him gone, you couldn’t look at him now. What did Eris Vanserra possess that made him better than you for Azriel? Because he got to him first?

“Did something happen to your mate and you came to find the spare?”

Azriel made his sigh audible through the door before dark tendrils crept in from the crack beneath the door.

“We have to talk.” His voice was strong and unwavering, something you had to be to get through this conversation before you could let yourself fall apart again.

“What’s there to talk about? The Mother gave me a mate who is already mated to someone who can’t stand me.”

“That’s not true.” The shadows grew, forming a pool that Azriel stepped out of, looking down at you. Your gaze lingered on his shoes, a more formal pair than his leather boots and what he wore around the house.

Gods, you were pathetic for knowing that.

“What part of that is a lie?”

Azriel ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath.

“It’s technically true, but-“

“See?”

“Let me finish.” His words were resolute in the darkness, the townhouse still in the silence following his words. “It’s true. I have a mate and he is… an acquired taste. He is quick to judge and even quicker to barb with his words.”

You waited, the glutton inside of you hanging onto his every word, the anguish hungry for more fodder.

“But you… I met you and you consumed so much of my thoughts. I thought it was a crush or merely missing my mate and looking for him in others.

“But it was you. I needed to be near you. I don’t know how this works, this has never happened before. But I want to try.”

That caused you to look up, to finally see the sincerity in his eyes, to let his emotion wash over you. The bond connecting the two of you was a wave, a wall of regret and hope and sincerity so strong it threatens to blow you over.

“Azriel, I have to trust you. You are my mate, I should be able to trust you. But you kept this big secret from everyone. Why should I believe you? What would make me more than just a cover up?”

Azriel huffed, a fight occurring behind his eyes as he mulled something over. He reached a hand into one of his shadows, his arm nearly disappearing in the darkness before coming out holding a leather book with a beaten cover. He extended the book out to you, waiting until you took it from him.

The leather was cold, the spine cracked as you opened it. Every page was filled with Azriel’s near perfect penmanship. Every page dated, detailed down to what he ate in a day.

“No fae has ever seen this.” His voice was soft and unguarded before he added, “not even Eris.”

Curiosity stood at the forefront of your mind, your fingers already flicking through pages as you sat up. It didn’t surprise you that he kept such detailed depictions of his days - you would have been more surprised to know he didn’t keep detailed records. What did surprise you was him sharing this with you.

You briefly wondered if his shadows made notes for him, allowing him to transcribe the details of the day in his own thoughts and perspective. You could see him at his desk, shadows swirling and floating next to his ear, singing a song to him no one else can understand. As you flicked through it, names jumped off the page at you, every member of the Inner Circle mentioned throughout the book at some point or another.

“I have more - I have loads more. This is where it began with us - me and him. It starts somewhere in that journal - about a quarter of the way in. When you finish that one, let me know. I’ll give you the next one.”

Azriel had such a hesitant look on his face - you were certain he wanted to say more. He even stepped forward, reaching a hand out as if to speak. Instead, he merely tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before turning and walking out, shutting the door behind him.

You got the silence you wanted, but now you have a piece of Azriel laying in your hands.

-

You had stayed up most of the night reading Azriel’s journal, accompanied by a handful of shadows that had stayed behind after he left. At first they felt like an invasion of your privacy or a lack of trust from Azriel, but they responded to you like they always had: twirling in your hair, brushing soothing strokes up and down your arms, helping you with minor tasks.

It gave you a sense of comfort you didn’t know you needed.

You must have fallen asleep at some point, likely at the end of the first journal. You woke up in a daze, the journal moved off the bed, likely an act of protection from the shadows. Your head was throbbing, eyes so heavy from all your crying yesterday.

You laid still, trying to discern any noise throughout the townhouse, making sure no one else was here before trudging out of the room. Your rumpled clothes didn’t bother you as you made it to Azriel’s room, knocking softly, cursed with the bond to know he was there.

Azriel looked beautiful in the morning light, his hair sticking up in places, disturbed by his sleep, or lack thereof by the bags beneath his eyes.

“Here, I’m ready for the next one.” Azriel grabbed the journal from you, his fingers brushing against yours in the exchange. A shadow swirled beside him, a pit of darkness Azriel plunged the journal back into, returning with a near identical one before placing it in your hands.

“How can you tell the journals apart?”

“My hands are extra sensitive.”

You nodded, accepting his answer, no matter how confused it left you. Had it been a joke you didn’t understand? Would Eris have understood it? Blood roared in your ears at the thought.

It was difficult standing before him, knowing the intimacy between the pages of the journal you just read. How he and Eris all but killed each other in a fit of rage when the bond snapped, a fight that left the two broken and bloodied, nothing resolved before they slunk off to their respective courts.

It was a chance encounter - Azriel had been on the border between Spring and Autumn, moving in a cloud of shadow, trying to parse out any rumblings from the Vanserras when the eldest son caught him in a ball of fire. The bond had snapped into place when Azriel had begun choking on the smoke, Eris’s heart nearly giving out in shock, dropping the flames around Azriel. Azriel had immediately lunged at Eris, mated protectiveness out the window as they wrestled along the forest floor.

Pages and pages were Azriel writing through all of his emotions, deep rooted anger at the Mother’s chosen mate for him. It was months before they saw each other again, the entries between those meetings full of thoughts and new evaluations about Eris.

His diction changed somehow, as if having a mate had so fundamentally changed him it was impossible to not notice Eris’s influence, even though the pair weren’t together. He still detailed his days, but they felt more like letters at a point, or as if he were telling Eris about his day in extreme detail.

The romantic subtext left you queasy.

The second time they saw each other was near the end of the journal, an act of instinct. Azriel felt hot, searing pain, shooting himself into the sky, making it to the Autumn border before he got his wits about him. He had landed in their previous meeting spot, crouching to hide amongst the brush to wait.

It was agony, forced to hide, the closest to his mate he’d been in months.

The sun broke through the trees when Eris finally arrived, surely feeling Azriel’s proximity deep in his bones. The Vanserra had not been kind - he was all teeth, clacking insults at Azriel. The shadowsinger took it, not truly knowing how to respond. He couldn’t stop the intense feeling of relief at seeing Eris, the emotion so overwhelming he flew away after several moments of Eris’s abuse.

The last few pages of the journal were full of question marks, Eris’s name, and attempts at finding some code in the insults the redhead had hurled at him.

The new journal laid in your hands, full of a story you wanted to watch unfold.

“Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Azriel nodded, “thank you for being the first person I trusted to share this with.”

You wanted to ask, wanted to know why Eris hadn’t seen it. The two had been mated for years at least, if their domesticity was anything to go off of. Feyre and Rhys were two of the only mates you knew and you couldn’t fathom them keeping their own journals and musings from each other.

Much less share them with someone else.

Azriel looked down at you, his eyes wanting to desperately share something with you, but it was impossible to know what it was.

You bowed your head before turning on your heel, hoping to find more answers in the book you held.

-

It was a few days before you decided to leave the townhouse, Azriel joining you without telling him that you were returning to the House of Wind. The morning you were going to go back, he had merely been standing in the foyer waiting for you.

Nesta and Cassian would be back in a few days and you needed a change of scenery. The townhouse had began feeling too small, Azriel’s scent no longer lingering on your sheets, making your heart ache in a new way.

The flight back had been slightly awkward, the silence filled with the sounds of leather as your mind and body battled, tugging back and forth between leaning into him and pulling as far away as possible.

You hadn’t seen Azriel since the two of you landed a few hours ago, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t around somewhere. You opened the balcony doors, sitting out on the lounge chair, looking into the vast and endless sky of stars above you. You were so small beneath them, your problems somehow miniscule but all consuming.

You had finished another journal, probably journal number five at this point. Not quite ready to exchange it for the next one, fresh air beckoned to you.

The air was cold, but not harsh as it filled your lungs. It helped clear your thoughts, the frigid temperatures helping slow down your overactive mind. You now had some idea of Azriel and Eris’s beginnings - you weren’t anywhere near their acceptance of the bond, but it was clear how every slope of Azriel’s pen had been in thought of Eris. He now rushed through his days, giving as much as detail as before, but now it felt like a necessary evil to get to the subject he truly wished to discuss: Eris. The door to the balcony opened, causing you to go rigid.

“Relax.” Nesta’s hard voice surprised you, expecting it to be Azriel. You turned in your chair, delighted to see the valkyrie.

“What are you doing here?”

“In my house?” She smirked, moving to sit next to you. “We came back from Day a little early. There’s supposed to be a rain shower tomorrow and Cassian didn’t want to fly in it.”

It felt like a lifetime had passed since you saw Nesta last, a little over a week ago. She seemed brighter, a likely side effect of spending any time in Day.

“And how is your mate?”

“Miserable. He got sunburnt.” You laughed at the mental image of a red and crispy Cassian, certain he was making it as much of a problem for everyone else. “Emerie had a good laugh about it.”

It felt good to be in someone else’s presence for the first time in days. You hadn’t realized just how isolating this past week had been, your only companion the shadow that remained tucked in your hair and the journal of your mate’s past.

“How was your week with Azriel?” Nesta’s tone felt accusatory, like she was fishing for something she already knew. If she had any notions about you and Azriel, she didn’t confess them to you.

“Quite lonely, actually. I’ve hardly seen him.”

“A pity.” She leaned back in the seat next to you, stretching out her legs. “Do anything interesting?”

“I’ve mostly been reading.”

Nesta sat back up, her interest focused back on the conversation. “Anything good?”

“It’s mostly history books - I’ve read a good bit about the Autumn Court. It sounds beautiful.” It was the truth - you couldn’t bring yourself to call it a romance, certain Nesta would want to know more about it. She slumpt down once more, her interest lessened as she sat back.

“What do you think of Eris?” The question slipped out, a byproduct of having been alone all week. At least that’s what you tell yourself.

“Vanserra?”

You nodded. “Is there any truth to what they say about him?”

“I’m not sure. He’s smart and slippery. I think Rhysand is slightly afraid of him because of that, but he’d never admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“That if Eris so chose, he could certainly concoct a scheme and outsmart Rhysand.” You bit your lip, certain that with their mating, Eris had outsmarted Rhysand.

“What’s he like?”

“The most difficult fae alive.” She crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed. “He’s a challenge on his best days.”

“Pity the fae mated to him.” Your words come out strong for the first time in this discussion, but some deep part of you knows it’s the biggest lie of the evening. If Azriel’s journals leave you with anything, it’s that Eris Vanserra is a loyal and lethal mate, prepared to burn the world for his mate.

Her brows were merely raised in agreement, silver set on every movement you made. You felt the scrutiny of her gaze, schooling your features to give less of your heartache away.

“Are you certain you’re okay?”

You shrugged half heartedly, trying to find some reason to explain away your melancholic state.

“Endless night skies leave me restless, sometimes. So many possibilities, I’m not sure where I’d end up.”

She stood up, taking in the same view as you, but seeing something completely different.

“Not all possibilities are good ones.” She turned on her heel, heading back inside, leaving you out in the frigid cold, alone and unsure.

Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

A/N: ahhhh!! Part two!! I’m setting some things up so it might feel like filler but I promise the next part will be juicy 👀👀

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[azsazz]

Cold Shoulder

Hockey!Azriel x Ice Skater!Reader

Summary: Anon Req: after sprinkles of luck and doubt i cant stop thinking of hockey!az being weird and distant and then comes in figureskater!eris to be readers skating partner and the jealousy that ensues ooooooooo

AKA Part 2 to Sprinkles of Luck and Doubt

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 2083

Other Fics in the Hockey!Az AU: Penance, Shut Out, Out of Order, All's Well That Ends Well, Brr-eakdown Shots & Spins Sprinkles of Luck and Doubt

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“Where’s your guard dog?” The boy you’ve been trying to ignore since practice started says. He skids to a halt at your side, his skates spraying shards of ice across the worn ice. It’s due for a Zamboni soon, and glancing at the bright red numbers ticking the time away, you have twenty more minutes of skating until you’re done for the day.

It works perfectly for your schedule because you haven’t been able to focus since Azriel left you with a somber look after sneaking into the women’s locker room before his weekend away with his hockey team.

You don’t know what had gone wrong. Everything seemed fine when he pulled you into his body and you could feel the press of his thick cock in his pants against your stomach. He’d been more than excited to see you, and you’ve never felt more important than in his arms right then. Because he’d snuck into the women’s locker room to say goodbye. He could have easily left you with a text, or nothing at all—you knew his schedule like the back of your hand by now—but he felt inclined enough to break the rules to see you one more time before he left.

You get the saying now, because if he really wanted to, he would.

What you can’t grasp is the sudden change in Azriel’s mood. He’d gone stiff against you like the flip of a switch, and it wasn’t the good kind of stiff that reflected in his jeans. It was the kind of stiffness that you clocked immediately, fed on. When his body locked up, yours did too. When he refused to meet your gaze as he said a soft farewell, you didn’t have the heart to watch his off-putting demeanor.

It's been days since you’ve seen him. An entire week, almost. You’ve seen Cassian and Rhysand in passing, but they haven’t offered anything about Azriel and you hadn’t asked.

You’re not going to be that girl, even if the prolonged no-contact with someone you thought you could fall for is driving you up the wall.

“Practice,” you bite at the boy staring down at you. You wince at your tone. You answered much too quickly and with much to emotion for anyone to believe you, and you see it in the way Eris’ amber eyes soften a touch.

You don’t want his pity. You don’t need it.  All you want right now is to get off this damned ice—because of course it reminds you of Azriel, nearly everything does—and head back to your dorm to ice your throbbing knee.

You’ve known Eris since you transferred to Velaris University. He’s a challenge at the best of times and a menace at the worst, but he’s arguably your first friend outside of your dormmates, and even then, you’re not entirely sure they actually like you or if they just tolerate you because you all live together.

Maybe you need to start being a little friendlier.

“What happened?” Eris asks softly, and your throat grows tight with emotion. He’s the first person to ask, and for the first time since Azriel disappeared on you, you want to break down and let it all out. You want to spill every consuming thought you’ve had while you were overanalyzing and you want someone to feed into your delusion as much as you want someone to talk you off the ledge of crazy.

But you can’t do that, not in the middle of practice, because as soon as you open your mouth to spill, coach is shouting at you and Eris to run through your routine again.

You sigh in frustration, but it does nothing to ease the heaviness in your heart. After finally admitting that the injury you’re recovering from has been bothering you as of late, coach decided that working with a partner would help ease the stress on your knee while also keeping you working towards your goal.

You know you’ve had the option to work with a partner, but you’ve always been solo, and it’s difficult to allow yourself to put this much trust in someone else. The last time you put your trust in someone, he left you feeling like a wet towel abandoned on the shower stall floor.

Eris is well aware of your injury and how your recovery has been going, and he’s been more than happy to gently ease you into the routine. He’s been gentle with you during tricks, and you’re more thankful than you let on. As you get into position to practice one more time before you’re dismissed, you remind yourself to thank him properly by taking him to dinner or a movie or something he enjoys.

Eris counts you off and then you’re gliding across the ice together. His hand is a warm weight against your hip but it feels all wrong. It’s nothing like the hand you want there, the one that’s a brand against your skin.

You startle when Eris’ hand finds your other hip, preparing for your first trick. You wobble on your skate and he rightens you with a frown that you brush off with a head shake, taking a breath and focusing on what you do best.

Two, three, four, jump! Eris lifts you with ease, hauling you above his head. You engage your core and pose for a beat, two, and then he’s lowering you back to the ice with a gentleness that you haven’t experienced in pairs before.

This go-around, you’re mostly practicing lifts. Coach wants you and Eris to accomplish a triple twist lift, but you’re rusty working in pairs, and you need to work up to it. Plus, your knee screams in agony during your next trick, no matter how many times you’ve done a spiral.

Gods, you’re pushing it.

But to be the best, you have to.

You’re focused so intently on ignoring the pain flaring up your leg and the tricks you’ve yet to master to notice the figure across the arena. Hockey practice just let out, and a quick glance to the clock on the wall would have told you that if you’d been keeping an eye on it. Of course, you know the hockey schedule by heart. At first it was because you and Azriel would try to align your practices to get out on time so that you could find a dark place to touch each other, but now it’s because you wanted to escape any chance of seeing the broody hockey player you’ve decided you’re giving the cold shoulder to.

Azriel’s hazel eyes latch onto you and the hand he has wrapped around his hockey bag tightens until his knuckles turn white. He doesn’t know the guy whose hands are all over you, doesn’t like the way he grabs your hips to lift you, doesn’t like how close his face is to yours, how his eyes glitter with amusement when you curse under your breath. He doesn’t like the way your body looks molded to his when you jump or the way that you stare at each other at the end of your routine, both panting so hard that your chests nearly brush with every inhalation.

He definitely doesn’t like the ire flooding his bones like magma, nor the prickling sensations of jealousy that threaten to overtake his body, march him onto the ice, and beat the shit out of the guy that’s touching what’s his.

And he most certainly doesn’t like the way that you favor your uninjured leg as you make your way off of the ice.

Azriel can’t help himself, he’s a fool. A fool for leaving you. A fool for not messaging you that he needed time to figure his own shit out, that things with you were becoming too real. A fool for every doubting whatever you had in the first place.

He fucking missed you. All weekend, all week. He should’ve found you sooner, but with the loss against the Sparrows, coach has been making the team do double practice so they’re prepared for their next game tomorrow night, and with his classwork and personal life stacking up, he hadn’t prioritized you.

He’s realizing now that he should have.

Azriel doesn’t know what he’s doing until he’s halfway to where you’ve come off the ice and are listening to your coach. Eris stands too closely to your side as you nod, and it takes you longer than he wants to admit to notice him.

He watches your pretty eyes go wide, drink him in from head-to-toe—which he secretly preens at because you still want him, even after he’s acted like a jackass all week—and then narrow in a glare so harsh his steps falter.

Surely, he knows he fucked up, but he hadn’t gauged just how angry you’d be.

Very, apparently.

Azriel’s still trying to muster up what to say when coach dismisses you. You turn to Eris instead of moving towards Azriel, and the black-haired boy bristles at that fact. He can’t hear what you’re speaking about, but when Eris graces you with a charming smile and an agreement, Azriel knows he doesn’t like that one fucking bit.

You snatch your towel from where it’s hanging over the edge of the bench and wrap it around your neck, following Eris towards the locker rooms. You have to work to keep your face neutral, but your knee is killing you. All you want to do is go home, prop it up and ice it, maybe even devour a pint of ice cream or two, but upon seeing Azriel waiting for you in the walkway off the ice, you hastily invited Eris to grab dinner with you instead.

You want nothing to do with Azriel at the moment.

He’s still glaring at your friend when you try to pass by. Azriel grabs your arm but it’s gentle, and sends a zip of lightning up your spine.

“Hands off, hockey douche,” Eris defends, but Azriel doesn’t pay him a second glance, his intense eyes focused entirely on you.

“Can we talk?”

His voice is so soft, eyes pleading, that you want to cave immediately. Crawling right back into his arms sounds like bliss right now because you know Azriel well enough to know that he’s noticed how badly your knee is bothering you, and he’d be a great caretaker. But that means he’s also noticed how he left you, by the remorse in his eyes, and how upset you are with him.

“I can’t,” you respond, sticking to your guns no matter how painful it is. Azriel’s hand is warm on your arm, and his touch alone is already battering through your weakened defenses. You lift your chin and reprimand yourself all in the same motion. “I have plans.”

“Cancel them.”

“I don’t think so,” Eris huffs, hovering by your side. Azriel’s face hardens and you manage to hide your wince when he turns his glare on your partner.

“This conversation doesn’t involve you, firedick.”

“Azriel,” you hiss, and he hates that you’re using his full name. He hates that you sound so upset. “Apologize.”

He sets his jaw, staring down at you. You stare right back, arms crossed fully over your chest. There’s a bead of sweat brimming at your hairline that Azriel wants to brush away, and it’s a struggle not to haul you into his arms and drag you back to the hockey house with him to talk.

After a few terse seconds of silence, you scoff. He’s not going to apologize to you, and he presumably liked you, there’s no way in hell he’s going to apologize to Eris for calling him a crude name.

You manage to sidestep Azriel, though you’re sure you only get away with it because he lets you. He’s a persistent man and usually gets what he wants, but not today.

If he wants anything to do with you, he’s going to work for it.

“I’m sorry,” Azriel says when you’ve taken two steps away from him. You know it isn’t directed at Eris, but at you. Your steps falter and your lip wobbles with emotion. You wonder if Azriel knows what he’s sorry for, or if he’s just saying it to appease you.

You glance at him over your shoulder, cursing your wet eyes for giving you away.

You say thickly, “Yeah, me too,” and continue down the hall to the locker rooms.

Azriel watches you go.

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Azriel Hockey!AU Tags:

@whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @going-through-shit @crazylokonugget @lilah-asteria @girl-who-writes-stuff @moosemahboi @sherayuki @lyinginameadow @acourtofatboydreams @blackthorngirl @shadowsingercassia @evergreenlark @hannzoaks @bloodicka @whyshouldihaveanam3 @elle4404 @cherry-cin @quinzzelx @i-am-infinite @feeriqueivre @blightyblinders @kennedy-brooke @nyxbranwenn @dee-writes-smut @konaanaria13 @sunny1616

[tovibeornottovibe]

Deny! Deny! Deny! - Part I

Azriel x Priestess!Fem!OC (Thea)

Azriel knows Thea is just as attracted to him as he is to her. He's content to only think about her when he's in bed and he's happy to know that she's doing the same. They can spar and meet up in the training ring secretly when they can't sleep. They can talk about sex and revenge and whatever they're reading at the moment like they're things two friends just discuss at the same time. Unfortunately, an external problem forces them to be confined in the House of Wind together, with only a certain Eris Vanserra as temporary company. So, naturally, he ruins everything. [4.5k words]

warnings: explicit sexual content from the very start, masturbation, azriel being a horny mf, various sexual fantasies, swearing

Part II

Prefer to read on Ao3?

Azriel’s at his desk in the House of Wind, working, reading reports and writing little notes to himself in red ink along the margins. It’s taking him twice as long to sort through the useful parts because he keeps letting his mind wander to what it he imagines it’s like to come in Thea’s mouth. His shadows are thoroughly banished to the corners of his office, since they tend to whisper things like: when she touches herself, she whispers your name, she needs you, she’s dripping just for you, shadowsinger, wants your tongue and your hands and your… in his ear and they aren’t supposed to be eavesdropping on her. In fact, he’s ordered them not to. Explicitly. Who or what Thea thinks about in bed is not his business and he doesn’t want it to be, even if it’s him.

Because it isn’t really him, it’s just a fantasy of what she thinks he’ll be like. Same way that when he thinks of her, it isn’t her. He doesn’t know what her moans sound like or how intoxicating her skin tastes or what pretty colour her nipples are. He’s content never to find out too. His imagination is good enough.

By the time Rhys pulls that thread in the back of his mind to let him know he wants to talk, he’s this close to coming in his trousers and nowhere near hitting the very high work quota that he sets himself. 

Not a good time, Rhys, he says along the thread, and curses himself. He sounds breathy even in his head.

A dark chuckle comes back at him. Am I interrupting?

Technically, no, but Az is about to palm himself through his underwear until he spills with Thea’s name caught in his throat. When he does that, he’ll need time to clean himself up. He’s not walking into Rhys’ office smelling like he’s been in a pleasure hall in the middle of the day—though, it would get Rhys off his back about Elain finally, and then he half-considers the idea before he snaps himself out of it. So, he supposes, Rhys is interrupting, and Az isn’t available to him until he deals with his straining cock.

What do you want? he grits out, kind of like his teeth are stuck together. 

Rhys hedges, his tone annoying, Just a friendly little chit-chat between brothers, nothing hugely importan—

You’re an asshole, Az deadpans, I’m not in the mood. The heat curling in his stomach is starting to burn. Shifting in his seat makes him tense just from the friction of the fabric moving against his skin. He’s a fool, he thinks, for not just taking a break and rubbing one out earlier to get his concentration back, but there’s something delicious about clamping his jaw shut so no one hears him groaning if they pass by the door while he gets himself off in here. Maybe Cassian’s right to call him a freak in bed. Or out of bed, as the case may be.

Just finish who you’re doing and meet me in the river house once you’ve had a bath, Rhys says. We’ve had an interesting proposal.

…Damn his curiosity. 

From who? he asks.

For the moment his brother hesitates, Az thinks he’s going to fob him off and not tell him anything at all, but then, very carefully, Rhys says, That’ll definitely ruin your afternoon. And whoever it is you have with you. He lets out a huff of frustration that isn’t just because he’s been hard for twenty minutes now when Rhys retreats from the bond and leaves his head. Cryptic bullshit. Makes him anxious. Not great for maintaining a hard-on.

The irritation quickly disappears when he undoes the ties at his crotch and squeezes his cock the same way he thinks Thea will clench around him when she’s close. It’s languid and needy and he’s panting quietly at his fucking desk of all places while he smears the pre-cum thats leaking from his tip all over himself so it’s easier to tug just the way he likes it. He grips the edge of his desk when his wings start to twitch and tighten. His abs ache from the tension that keeps him from bucking up into his own hand; that’s just embarrassing. It’s probably a lewd sight, and the thought of Thea watching him whine is what gets him to come so hard on his stomach that he actually sees stars. 

Bliss, that’s what he calls it. Euphoria is reserved for the real thing.

Thea being the subject of what gets him off doesn’t factor into the post-climax guilt he feels. She knows he thinks about her like this; she asked him one time up in the training ring, he answered honestly, and she didn’t tell him not to. She laughed at him for it, coyly, and he thinks about the sound of that too. So it’s fine. 

What does get him to second-guess himself is the fact that both Rhys and Mor will skin him alive for thinking about a priestess like that, regardless of whether Thea likes it or not. They’re like that. Principles apply without context. That, and he’s made an utter mess of himself, and this particular shirt, pair of trousers, and boxers are now ruined. 

A few minutes having been taken to just be, recovering, his shadows aren’t picky about taking him from this room to his bedroom, where he strips, throws his clothes on the floor (where the House vanishes them. He’s not sure he wants to know where it puts things like that), washes, and redresses himself all in the space of five minutes. They fuss at his shoulders, but know better than to start talking again. He’d sooner fly to the river house alone than listen to them spoil Thea’s preferences. Though a comfort, they’re unnecessarily involved in trying to provide him with more company than they can give. Feminine temptation, they know as well as he does, is an effective way to make him crack.

But not when it comes to Thea.

He lands in the back gardens of the river house where the edge of the land runs off into the Sidra. Rhys and Feyre have a little pier down here where, he doesn’t know, they fish with Nyx or something. It’s all very domestic. Perfect for a kid. He’s happy for them. Really, really happy for them. Sure, the bitter, acidic envy roiling in his chest says otherwise, but he’s not listening to that right now. Or ever, if he can help it.

He strolls in through the backdoor with his shadows curling around his figure softly, barely visible in the natural Summer sunlight that streams through the windows of the house. It’s good lighting for painting, Feyre had been telling him. The stairs up to Rhys’ office are short work, he takes them two at a time, and he passes by the portraits on the walls that he’s seen a hundred times in the same way he always does, in awe. Such detail in the brush marks that the ones he can see have to be deliberate, dragging the paint for a specific effect. Az doesn’t know enough about art to know if what Feyre does is common, but he knows what he likes, and he likes what his High Lady paints.

He knocks, but Rhys calls him in before he’s finished and the metallic taste of High Fae magic hits his tongue as the door flicks open of its own accord. Soft, perfect laughter wafts through the threshold before he can take another step, and now he considers if the Mother has been conspiring against him today, because he knows that laugh.

“Ah, decided to finally grace us with your presence, Az?” It’s Mor who’s talking, a bit impatiently, but Azriel’s still snagging on who’s sitting opposite Rhys, eyeing him over her shoulder while she puts down her tea with a clink.

It shouldn’t surprise him that Thea leaves the library sometimes. Her idiosyncrasies stretch further than that, he would assume. It doesn’t surprise him that she’s wearing that wrap of blue fabric that hugs her thighs and around her ankles so that it’s more of a bodysuit than a dress, despite the flowing silk which is draped around her shoulders. The way the light bounces off her terra-cotta skin and makes the bronze in her dark curls shimmer doesn’t shock him either—he’s entirely aware of the fact that she can rival Helion for looking like the sun personified at times, and he knows that sounds romantic but it isn’t. It’s factual. Completely objective.

However, the gold foil, very intentionally flecked on the apples of her cheeks in little scraps which follow the curve of her eyes like stars, that gets him. And now he has a new way to imagine her gasping for him. Why in the world has she done that and how in the hell does it frame her face so well?

…Bad thoughts. He’s blocking them out.

Her being in Rhys’ office, that is what he needs to focus on.

“I…” he starts as he falters into the room, ripping his gaze off of Thea before it can get suspicious and onto Mor, who’s lounging by the window which looks out into the city, “...was busy.” Neither she nor Rhys give him the usual sly, snide comments at the insinuation of that. He directs his question at his brother, letting himself glance at Thea only to nod at her in greeting, like he hasn’t just had a mind-blowing orgasm at the idea of her tittering at him when he whimpers for her, before he sits down in the chair next to her. “What’s going to ruin my afternoon?”

“This is.” 

Rhys grimaces before Az turns to Thea. Between her index finger and her middle finger, she clasps a letter written on yellow-ish paper, its red seal already broken, and the page unfolded. She looks at him and tilts her head, a small smile quirking on her lips like she thinks this is funny, and he gently takes the letter from her hand. He ignores it when his fingers brush against hers.

When he sees what’s stamped on the seal, he feels his blood run cold: baying dogs amongst fire. The feeling doesn’t stop until he’s finished reading every single word that’s scrawled in that fucking handwriting on that fucking paper. 

“This is addressed to you, Thea. Directly addressed to you,” he says, raking his eyes over the word Hemithea at the top of the page. If Az's familiarity with her strikes Rhys or Mor as odd, they don’t mention it, and he’s too hyperfocused on the letter to notice if they make faces or if their breathing changes. He snaps his head up to her and makes sure she’s looking at him before he asks, “Why is Eris Vanserra addressing letters about…?” He searches for the term on the paper.

“Dissociative stimulants?” she offers, but the look he gives her makes her go quiet and he realises he’s angry. Furious, even. It’s not the cold anger that he only lets Rhys see, not the icy rage that comes over him when he needs to release it. And it’s not with her, never, but with the situation, and he’s not doing a good job at pushing that at anything but her. There’s no fear on her face, thankfully, she just seems taken aback by the strength of his feeling about it. So is he, if he’s honest, but having his friend offer advice to one of his mortal enemies wasn’t what he had on the cards for today. 

“Yes,” he bites out. “Those. Why is he asking you about those?”

“Azriel,” Rhys warns lowly. He slides his gaze over to his brother for a second, before it settles back on Thea and he waits.

“It’s fine,” she says to Rhys, waving him off, and then her sole attention is on him and Az can feel the wind get kicked out from under him as she fixes him still. “Eris—” hearing the prick’s name come out of her mouth puts him on edge, “—asked Rhys for information on a certain plant that his father has begun using, and Rhys directed him to me because that’s what I research—”

He cuts her off. “I know what you research, Thea.” Of course he does. He can sit and watch her smash training dummy after training dummy with her impeccable blade skills on those sleepless nights of theirs and happily listen to her talk about medicines and hallucinogens for hours on end. It’s not only useful for when he needs to apply a bit more pressure in the dungeons of the Hewn City, but it’s truly fascinating and the passion in her voice when she speaks is more soothing than any kind of tea Madja has ever given him for headaches. “Why are we providing Eris with access to our scholars?” Her face softens when he calls her that. Scholar. The sight relaxes him, but not enough.

“We aren’t,” Mor says firmly from behind him, still lounging and looking out of the window. 

“Mor—” Thea begins, but Rhys stops her softly.

He addresses both Mor and Az plainly. “I want to know what Beron is doing beyond what Az’s spies can tell us.” It’s not meant as an insult, but it hurts like one, and Rhys sends him an apologetic look. Not a reflection on you, brother. Even Az knows that there are limits to what someone paid to betray their home Court is willing, or able, to provide. “If he’s found a substitute for faebane now that we’re inoculated, we need to be prepared. Eris is giving us information about that whether he thinks he is or not.”

Realisation dawns on Azriel so quickly he’s certain the rest of the room can feel it. He has to shut his jaw before it hangs open for too long. “You’re tricking him.”

Thea, again smiling at him, nods. “In a way, yes.”

Is that pride blooming in his chest?

“I’ve been plying him for as much information as I can get. Obviously, he knows we’re gaining from what he’s telling us, but he thinks the details I’m asking for are just out of curiosity.”

Then… why is this an issue?

He hadn’t said a word, but Mor answers his question anyway. “If you let him into the city,” she snaps, “he wins. You do get that, don’t you?” In her voice is the wet rage of a person who cares too much. It’s righteous rage, after everything that happened to her.

Wait.

Double take.

“Let him into the city? ” he snarls at Rhys, who’s watching for his reaction with a kind of impassive, neutral face. 

Thea sighs beside him. “If we want to understand what it is this plant does,” she says coolly, “I need to see the physical effects of it on the body. Eris is capable of giving me that, and I’m not leaving Velaris to get it.”

The admission knocks him out of his anger so completely that his spiking shadows drop flat to the floor before they whirl up to his shoulders again. Gods, of course she won’t leave the city. Eris has to come to her. She’s a scholar, but a priestess too. The library is her sanctuary and he knows exactly what happened to her for it to have become that. Only he, Mor, and Rhys are aware of the story, Mor actively being the one to bring her to Velaris, and the other two don’t even know that Thea told him one night in the House of Wind. Leaving the library to come here is bravery enough; he’ll physically stop Mor pushing that boundary if he has to.

“Then get someone else to meet with him,” Mor says, and Az understands. Thea, knowing her, will too. It’s an unfair scenario, but he’s already shaking his head at the notion. No one else understands this substance like Thea does, and try as he might to comprehend all of the things she tells him, she’s the expert. The depth of her knowledge would take years to teach someone else so they could perform whatever study she needs to, and by then, Beron might be using this stimulant for something nefarious. They can’t have that.

“He’d stay in the House of Wind, Mor,” Rhys explains kindly. He too gets it, why she’s so irate about it. “He’s not getting anywhere close to the city.”

“Punt him off one of the balconies,” Thea says. “Let me strap him to a table and make him bleed for what he did to you, Mor.” The imagery of that, and Thea being the one to do it, pleases Az more than he cares to admit. “It doesn’t matter to me what happens to him, but only after I’ve wrung every last bit of information out of him. This—” she waves the letter in the air, “—scares me. If it does what I think it does, then we need to know how to combat it as fast as possible.”

Mor swallows, purses her lips, and returns to the window. Az can’t tell if that’s quiet acceptance of Eris’ presence, or angry acceptance of the fact that Rhys is going to let him into the city with or without her approval. Something about that sits uncomfortably in Azriel’s stomach. Willfully ignoring your second-in-command is a bold, if stupid, move.

“What do you think it does?” he asks, noting the real, shaking fear in the way Thea spoke. It’s not something he ever wants to hear again. Even Rhys sits back as he watches her take a breath.

“The classification of it: dissociative stimulant, tells you a lot,” she says. “It stimulates brain function. Makes you forget the limits your body puts your muscles under to stop you tearing yourself in half. Makes you more aggressive, heightens every basic instinct you have. And the dissociative part…”

“You’re out of your mind while it’s affecting you,” he finishes for her.

She makes a little hum of approval. Inappropriately, he stores the sound for a different context. “Hallucinations. Delusions. Totally abnormal emotional responses,” she continues. “Reading between the lines of what Eris says, it has a side effect of making a person more… malleable. Think being controlled by a daemati but you can give it to thousands and thousands of soldiers who won’t feel pain, don’t want to eat, and have no concept of their morals, all without breaking a sweat. Eris—he’s terrified of it.”

Sounds a lot like the Crown, he thinks absently.

Rhys must have caught the thought, because his voice rings in Az’s head. But far worse.

Does Feyre—?

A nod. Thea came here and explained everything to the two of us already. I thought she was going to break the front door off its hinges.

If this weren’t so serious, he’d laugh at the image. Thea went down the ten thousand steps and crossed the city for this, instead of trying to find him or Cassian and ask them to help her. Then again, if she had decided to get him, she’d have found him with his hand around his cock, probably sighing her name, so it’s for the best that she didn’t. Besides, it’s obvious to him that the exertion of the journey hasn’t affected her. She’s wide-eyed. Excited, even. It’s a strange thing to note.

He swallows thickly. Refocuses. He hates everything about this. He hates that Mor is the one who has to bear the brunt of it. He doesn’t want Eris within ten feet, no, ten miles of Thea, and Cassian… Logistically, it doesn’t seem possible. “Cassian will kill him before he even steps foot in the House of Wind. If Eris breathes near Nesta, it’s over before it begins,” he says.

Measured, detached, Rhys replies, “Neither of them will be in the House of Wind when he’s here.”

The plan, Azriel realises, has been set out before he’d even arrived, and he’s just walked Rhys and Thea through it the same way they probably formed it. Clever.

“And you want me to play chaperone,” he concludes, not bothering to ask it as a question. “Again.” Mor perks up at the word, but it’s for Rhys and him to know. “Fine.”

“Fine?” Rhys asks, almost splutters, like he was expecting more pushback.

But it is fine. It’s the only way any of this is fine. If he isn’t there, then Thea has no safety net, and no one would be around to keep Eris in his place. That fucker will try something, he feels it. He’s not about to give Eris unfettered access to her. That sounds like possessiveness, but it isn’t. While they might be training the priestesses in the House of Wind, and though Thea is the best of them, Eris has five-hundred-years of experience and the power of an heir to a Court. So, yeah, he nods, it’s fine. Not good, not okay. Fine. 

To Thea, he asks, “How long do you think you’ll need?”

She shrugs. “A few days, maybe more. I don’t know.” At that, Mor huffs and stands abruptly, walking out without a word, and Thea winces. “That doesn’t feel great,” she says.

“She’ll get over it,” Rhys says carefully as he stares after where she’d disappeared behind the door. Thea offers him a weak smile, like she knows that’s a lie. For Mor, this is an unforgivable situation—but the fact that Feyre agreed to it so readily is a marker of how important it is; it’s probably driven a wedge between them. Family dinners are going to go back to being awkward.

“I think I need to go clear my head.” Thea stands, pushes herself up delicately with her fingers pressing into the leather arms of the chair. “I’ll write to Eris once I’m back at the library,” she tells Rhys. 

“As soon as he—” Rhys starts, but Thea nods.

“I know the plan, Rhys,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.” And then she’s turning to Az and saying, “You still owe me from this morning.” Over the other side of the desk, Rhys’ eyebrows shoot up.

He owes her ten marks because he bet her that she couldn’t nick him in the neck when they sparred after general training was finished with earlier. Usually, when they practice swordplay, the goal for him isn’t to win, it’s to facilitate Thea practicing her skills and keep her reflexes honed. Her goal is, always, to land a hit that grazes his skin, because she’s the only priestess besides Gwyn who has the control to use a blade with a sharp edge. Training swords, he explained to her once, don’t hold the weight of the real thing. So, he ends every morning training session with another mark on himself, usually on his torso, or his arms, occasionally his thighs, but this time, he challenged her, and she rose to meet it. Illyrian healing has made the cut heal over already, but he and Thea know it’s there.

“Do it again tomorrow. Double or nothing,” he says, ignoring the look Rhys is giving him. 

In response, Thea scoffs a laugh. “Deal,” she says, shaking her head at him. “See you later, Az.” She passes by him and her hand twitches like she’s going to run her hands through his hair. She's in the habit of doing that to annoy him, but it doesn't annoy him; he practically keens every time. She restrains herself for Rhys’ benefit and he doesn’t watch her go. When she leaves the room, Az lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

The silence from his brother grates on him.

“Say whatever it is you want to say, Rhys,” he says calmly.

Rhys flicks his eyes between him and the door. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” Az glowers at him, and he sags back into his chair, the final bit of High Lord in him melting away. “I didn’t know you and Thea were…” He looks away, searching for the word. “...close,” is what he settles on—bitingly disapprovingly, but with some reluctance too. 

“She’s my friend,” Az states, because it’s true. His shadows darken around his forearms.

“She’s a priestess,” Rhys says, and it reminds Az of a parent. Now Rhys is a father, he has that stern, paternal tone to him when he’s scolding them like children. 

“So?”

He knows what Rhys is getting at, but, pettily, he wants him to say it. Wants him to admit that he thinks he’s incapable of keeping it in his pants. 

However, Rhys so rarely gives Az what he wants these days, and changes the subject. The warning has been understood regardless.

“Who were you with earlier?” he asks, smirking. “Do we know her?”

Azriel folds his hands in his lap and crosses his legs. He’s never answered that question before, not even if Mor asked him, and he’s not about to start now. “I don’t need you meddling in my sex life, Rhys,” he says, thinking bitterly to himself that he doesn’t actually have one currently, and he has no plans to change it. It’s not that he can’t get one. He could go to Rita’s tonight, be flooded with offers from males and females alike, and he could easily have two at a time; he’s not naïve of that. He’s just not going to, especially since Rita’s makes him nauseous when he’s there alone.

“Forgive me for being curious,” he says. “Cassian tells me you haven’t taken a lover for years.”

Of course Cassian tells you that. Brotherly love extends a long way and it's the reason Azriel doesn’t wring Cass’ neck for being a busybody. “I don’t need Cassian meddling either.”

Rhys runs his tongue along his teeth and relents, throwing his hands up in surrender. “For what it’s worth,” he says, a feline grin gracing his face, “when you do get another lover, it’ll be gratifying to keep him and Nesta up all night in revenge, no?”

That makes Az exhale a little laugh despite himself, and Rhys clearly takes it as a victory. “Maybe,” he says, shrugging. “I was in the middle of something.” He still has a lot of work to do, and now his previous problem is dealt with, he can get back to being efficient about it.

“Go on,” Rhys says, nodding to the door. “Make sure Thea gets back safe, will you?” he adds, but the warning is back in his tone, as if to say do that and don’t dare do anything else.

On the flight back to the House of Wind, he sends his shadows to find her. She’s in The Rainbow, shopping, chatting with vendors. She doesn’t get back for another couple of hours, and he leaves her be while he works.

let me know if you want to be added to a taglist :)

[katsukistofu]

PLEASE (if you feel like it) WRITE FOR AIZAWA! A SICK READER TROPE MAYBE?

Btw ur fics are so good and are part of the reason why I’ve gotten back into mha <333 I love ur writing style sm and ur hawks fics??? That was amazing

hi my love! thank you so much omg that’s so sweet, i’m happy i helped you rekindle your love for mha again lol! <3

sick (but never of you)

contents ౨ৎ ⋆ s. aizawa x fem reader. fluff. cursing. 997 words ★ your husband insists on taking care of you when you fall ill, despite your protests.

Not this shit again. 

You groan as your eyes flutter open for the second time after you said you were fine, then proceeded to dramatically faint in Shota’s arms in the middle of your patrol and sit up, hurriedly tossing the pile of soft blankets off your body.

You shiver despite the warmth radiating from the heater nearby. Shota must have brought it out for you after getting you home.

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

The disapproving voice of your husband floats over, and there he is, leaning on the doorway with a steaming bowl of something in his hands. You perk up despite yourself. Miso soup? 

“I don’t have time to sleep off a little cold, Shota!” Your arms tremble as you try to force yourself off of the plush king-sized bed. “It’s already past nine, I have to head to the agency.”

“Don’t care, didn’t ask.” Shota wraps his arms around you to trap you in place, ignoring your insistent budging. “You’re staying home today with the cat.”

“But—But they need me…” You weakly mumble in his firm grip. It was no use trying to break free, and you’re not sure if you even want to anymore with how nice he feels against you.

“And I need you here.” His stern gaze doesn’t waver, and his hand guides your head from the back of your hair, which you’re certain looks like a disaster zone right now, to rest on his chest. “It’s my job to make sure you’re safe, happy and healthy.”

Shota brushes a hair from your face and tucks it behind your ear. The little beads of sweat on your skin don’t bother him in the slightest.

“So let me do my job.”

“Are you using your teacher voice on me?” You grumble into the dark fabric of his sleeveless shirt. He smells warm and like all things good, as if he just came out of the shower. 

“I vaguely recall someone commenting that it was ‘hot.” Shota’s gravelly voice teases your ear and his stubble tickles your cheek as he smirks, knowing he’s won the battle when he finally feels you melt in defeat against him. 

He brushes a soft kiss to your forehead. “Stay in bed, sweetheart, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” You say in a tiny voice, weakly slumping back into the sheets. 

Shota comes back with a spoon and a folded piece of paper. A hint of a smile tugs at his lips as he holds it out to you.

“Looks like I’m not the only one that wants you to stay home.”

Your eyes widen as you look at the get-well card in your hands.

feel beter soon!! lots of loove, eri it said, with millions of tiny hearts doodled around your name. You choke back a sob as your eyes fall onto the little stick figure drawings of you pushing the little gray-haired girl on a swing set. 

It looked just like the one from the playground nearby that you would often take her to on your days off.

us when youre not sick anymor! :D

“Shota, give me that damn soup.”

He chuckles deeply and scoots closer on the bed to feed you. You squeeze your eyes shut as a sharp throb suddenly pierces through your head.

“The room’s spinning again, that’s not normal is it?”

“No. No, it’s not.” Shota’s forehead creases in concern, bringing the spoon of warm soupy goodness up to your lips while his other hand holds yours.

You part your lips to drink it, letting the rich, comforting flavor of miso spread across your tongue.

Letting out a little sigh of relief, you’re about to lean back before Shota sets the bowl down on the nightstand to prop up the pillows behind you, making sure you’re comfortable before he picks it back up again and holds up another spoonful to your mouth.

“Come on, one more for me sweetheart.” 

“Not hungry anymore,” you huff, turning your head away from his outstretched hand.

He lifts an eyebrow. 

“We can cuddle after you take your medicine.”

“...Can you rub my tummy too?”

“You know I will.”

You sniffle and reluctantly open your mouth to sip a spoonful of the soup once again.

“Atta girl.” Shota smooths a kiss on your forehead, rubbing circles against the back of your hand. 

He reaches over to the nightstand to grab your medicine he picked up from the local pharmacy earlier, and hands a small cup of what he pours to you. 

You grimace at its cherry-colored contents and tilt your head back to drink it in one go like a shot.

“Good job. Now come lay on me.” He didn’t need to ask you twice, but Shota’s hands are already on your waist to gently flip you over him as he takes your previous position on the bed, setting you down to rest your head on your usual spot on his chest.

He strokes your hair gently, arm snug against your back while he presses you to him. “How are you feeling?”

“A little bit better,” you mumble, absentmindedly tracing the outline of his abs under his shirt. It's always been soothing to you.

Shota’s chest rumbles as he lets out a husky laugh. “Are you just saying that so you can keep tracing my abs?”

“Maybe.” You giggle against him, which turns into a cough and he firmly pats your back. His hand slides under your pajamas to rub gentle circles on your tummy like he promised. You softly squeal at the ticklish feeling of his hard-earned callouses against your skin, and Shota tenderly kisses your cheek once, twice.

All your senses are numb, but you can still feel the overflowing love behind them.

“Go to sleep, sweet girl. I got you,” he murmurs into your hair.

“Okay.” You comply easily this time, nuzzling deeper into his chest. “Goodnight, Shota.”

“Goodnight, angel. Love you.”

“Love you too,” you mumble before drifting off to sleep in the safety of his warm arms.

Maybe being sick wasn’t all bad.

[lotusunique]

Nights Like This

Armando Aretas x Fem! Reader

Mkay so while yall wait on this pt.3 of The engagement, ima give yall this lil story I been working on! Im ngl I did cut it in half this was long as HELL! So enjoy ❤️

“We should go out tomorrow night. We never do that anymore.", Kelly says grabbing her purse. "Yeah because you and your man are always boo'd up somewhere. Marcus isn't allowed out too many times in a row or Theresa will kick his ass. Mike is happily married now. And I refuse to be a third wheel on you two’s date" I explain.

“So why don't you invite Armando out.", She looks over to Armando who's looking through a case file. Since he helped take down McGrath and saved Callie, Mike tried to sort out a deal for him. He'll work out his sentence, here at AMMO, being apart of the tactical weapons team.

"Um absolutely not. He literally doesn’t know I exist in that way", I groan. "That’s not true. You just gotta make yourself known. Plus he’s kinda a dick. I don't know why you like him anyway.?”,she says damn

near screaming my secret. "Um firstly, shut up. What you wanna tell the whole world my secret?", I shush her. That’s all I fucking need. For Armando to find out I like him or WORSE. Mike and Marcus could find out. I’d never live it down.

"Invite him out or l'm gonna shout it from the rooftops.", Kelly gives an evil smirk.

"Shout what from the rooftops?", Mike looks over to us. "Oh nothing just that Y/n li-", you elbow her in the side. "That Y/n is going out with Kelly and Dorn tomorrow night", you give a tight lipped smile. "I'm so excited I could scream", Kelly smiles.

"Y'all weird as hell man", Mike says just giving the two of you a glance. Kelly lets out a laugh before nodding towards Armando's seat. "No.",you give a stern look.

"Yes!", kelly says seriously. "Fine. I'll do it before I leave later.", you give in, not wanting to discuss it any further.

- Later-

"I'm out, don't stay too long okay", Kelly says patting your shoulder before heading out, quickly shooting a glance over at Armando, signaling you to talk to him.

She heads out, the door closing, being a deafening reminder of how quiet it is since you and Armando are the only ones in the office. The dim lights giving an Erie feel. "Breathe Y/n. Now's the time to go talk to him", You think to yourself.

"Hey."you walk over to him. He looks up at you with a stare that says "what do you want". "Well I just thought that since it's just me and you tonight, we could at least conversate so it won't be absolutely boring", You sit on his desk.

"What do we have to talk about?", He says with that accent that just drives you crazy.

"Well I do technically have something to ask you", You say looking down at him. "There it is", he flashes a smile. "Stop", You roll your eyes.

"Mkay shoot.", He crosses his arms with a smirk.

"Please come with me tomorrow night. Kelly wants me to go out with her and Dorn. And I really don't wanna third wheel.", you plead.

“What’s in it for me?”, he looks up at you, placing the pen in between his plump lips. “What do you want?”,you ask, staring right down at his lips.

“What’re you offering?”, he asks, moving his rolling chair to where he’s sitting in between your legs,staring up at you with this smirk on his face like he just knows what he’s doing to you.

“I..I..uh”,your breath starts to hitch. “Use your words hermosa.”, he glances up at you through low eyes.

He has to know what he’s doing to you right? The only option is to match his energy, even though it’s all a front.

“Mister Aretas, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were flirting with me.”,you snap out of whatever shy shit you just had going on.

“And if I was?”,He traces his finger up your exposed leg. Today was the perfect day to wear a pencil skirt.

The sound of the glass doors creaking open surprises you, causing you to move off the desk swiftly as possible.

“Sorry, I left my house keys”,Marcus walks in, not looking at the two of you.

“Hollup…it’s real dark in here. What yall in here-“,he looks between the two of you. “Nothing we were just talking”,you say quickly. Marcus looks over at Armando who has a condescending smirk upon his face. “Oh okay”,Marcus laughs. “It’s not like that Marcus”,You bury your head in your hands with a laugh.

“Look that ain’t nun of my business. Just make sure you use that latex. Cause you don’t wanna get that I’m late Text!”,he says before dapping Armando up. “What is HAPPENING”, you internally scream to yourself.

Marcus quickly makes his exit, leaving you and Armando to discuss what just happened. “That was embarrassing”,you groan. “It was hilarious”,he laughs. “No it wasn’t”, you lean against the door. “I’ll go with you. I’ve got something to handle before hand though,so I’ll meet you there”,he smiles over at you.

“Okay great. I’m gonna go home. Be safe. I’ll see you tomorrow”,you nervously grab your things before heading out to your car.

[scorpioriesling]

Invisible String - Part 2

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Eris x reader

Warning(s): light angst if you squint. Please be advised; future parts might not be suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution.

Summary: You'd taken the nanny position for the royal family over a year ago, not expecting what would come of it or how close you'd grow to the child you cared for. Things became tough for Eris when his wife left him and his daughter, and he found it increasingly harder to raise Riley himself. He soon realizes, you've provided a lot more than the typical job description duties for his daughter... and maybe for him, too.

SR’s Note: I added in the advisory so that younger / uncomfortable readers won't begin the series without knowing or expecting potential risks in content to come. For those who enjoy or look forward to content as such -- get excited! Nonetheless, I hope readers will enjoy this series that came to me in a dream one night. (; Much love to all.

Tags: @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @talesofadragon @rcarbo1 @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @a-frog-with-a-laptop @kitsunetori (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Part 1

You paced back and forth awkwardly around your room, not sure what to do with your time. Normally, you'd give Riley a bath and see her off to bed -- but not tonight. Her father had come home during dinner today, and you almost couldn't believe your eyes when he'd materialized before the both of you in the dining room.

Gods, you'd never seen her so excited to see him come home in all the time you'd known the two. She truly missed him when he was gone, just waiting to see her dad come home at the end of the day. You understood; to be honest, you worried some nights when he would be gone late, always apologizing like his timing was the end of the world. He failed to realize that it was his safe return you were more concerned with.

You paused, shrieks of laughter heard from the opposite end of the Wing and you smiled to yourself. Padding over to your open doorway, you peeked your head out, listening as Eris' faint voice spoke with his daughter, saying something that had her giggling once more before you heard the distinct sound of her door latching shut. You retreated back into your room, trying to find anything to busy yourself as the sound of his shoes drew nearer toward your room.

"Could I offer any help with the last of those?" Eris asks, leaning casually against the doorframe as he gestures toward the stack of heavy boxes piled in the corner of your room. You turn, crossing your arms and then uncrossing them, not quite finding a comfortable position.

"Um... well, I could probably get them, tomorrow." You shrug, biting on your lower lip. Eris' eyes study your face for a long moment before he chuckles, walking over to the pile and pushing up his sleeves with such grace. He lifts the top box, his arms flexing under the weight as he adjusts his grip under the edges.

You try, really, really hard not to stare.

"I'll leave these outside to be picked up in the morning, unless you needed them to be kept for something?" He asks, and you all but shake your head before he heads out of your room, leaving you in awe. You shake your head, get it together. That is your boss, for Gods sakes. You take a deep breath, pushing your hair behind your ears before reaching for the next highest box, barely reaching the upper rim before its contents nearly spill over on top of you.

"Cauldron damned-" your curse is cut off when the box doesn't completely dump out on to you, but is caught haphazardly between your hands and one of Eris'. His other one is wrapped around your waist, preventing your impending collision with the floor.

"Woah! Woah," he says, his voice much closer than you expected and you open your eyes you'd inadvertently squeezed shut. He loomed over you, holding you so close to his chest that you sucked in a breath, your eyes widening when they met his peering down at you.

"I'm..." you made to stand, and he lifted the cardboard from your hands. "I thought I could help with that one." You said sheepishly. He chuckled, glancing sidelong at you.

"Always trying to do everything," he muttered. "Honestly, I'm just surprised to hear Y/N actually say a bad word out loud."

You set your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow and ignoring his teasing remark.

"This is my mess, anyhow. I was just trying to help."

He turns, heading for the door once more.

"Allow me to help you for once, hm?" He says, winking and walking out. You roll your eyes, irritated at how warm your cheeks feel. You flit about the room, putting random smaller items away and folding a few articles of clothing as Eris makes the last few trips. When he comes back in for the final time, he sits on the edge of your bed with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

You look to him, noticing his exhaustion from the day again. "Thank you," you say, and he looks to you again. He offers you a small smile, leaning back on his hands.

"For all that you've done, helping you move a few boxes is incomparable." Your lips curve upward as you place a few more of your skirts inside the drawers of the dresser, averting his eye. After a few shared moments of quiet, he speaks again.

"This room... its... I'm glad someone is using it again." He says, his hand running softly over the duvet. You glance at him, his fallen expression puzzling as you go about tidying up.

"Oh?"

He's quiet again before he looks at you. "I used to avoid coming in here, after... well, after Selene left." He says quietly, and you pause. The air feels thick, you try to keep breathing evenly as your mind races.

"She... the two of you didn't share...?"

"No." He whispers, looking at the floor. "She thought only mates should share a room."

You shoved the drawer closed, walking slowly to the bedside and sitting next to him.

"I'm sure this is common knowledge by now, but our marriage was simply a transaction, a sign of goodwill between our courts." He let out a humorless laugh. "No magic, golden thread there."

For everything he'd done for his court, all the battles he'd won, every fight he'd fought and all he'd witnessed... this was a subject he rarely discussed, as it seemed tomdrag him down the most.

"Eris..." You said softly, reaching out a hand timidly and placing it on his arm. He braced lightly against the touch, and you leaned closer. "I'm so sorry that you were treated that way-"

He sniffed, his hand rubbing along his jaw quickly before he stood, your outstretched hand slowly retracting with the distance between you two.

"It's alright. Nothing for you to worry about, anyway." He flashed a humorless half-smile, and you stared up at him with concern. You could tell it was a tough subject for him, and you definately didn't want to pry; but he didn't exactly have many other people to open up to.

"Well... alright then." You say defeatedly. He nods, turning and heading for the door. He looks over his shoulder only once more before closing the door behind him.

"Sleep well, Y/N."

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Apple juice, please?" Riley asks, and you pour her a fresh glass, delivering it to her awaiting hand. She sips quietly, then blinks a few times when you sit down beside her. "Oh -- thanks!" She smiles.

You nod, silently praising her good mannered habits. You could still remember when you arrived at the Forest House, the little spitfire was ordering people around at the ripe age of three. "Give this!" and "Do that!" was all she managed, and though her heart was pure, you did encourage better etiquitte; luckily, it stuck.

"Daddy said he have a surprise," she swung her legs under the table, some of her juice swishing in her cup. You raised an eyebrow.

"Did he, now?" You weren't sure what she was talking about, or if there really was a surprise at all. Eris had made haste this morning, rushing past you this morning on his way out the door. He'd barely kissed his daughter goodbye before he was on his horse and halfway to the border-

"He did! He said he had one." She insisted, and you nodded in understanding. What it could be, you had no clue.

"Well, lets finish our dinner so we're ready when he gets home, yes?" You suggest, and Riley agrees, jamming the last of her chicken nuggets into her mouth and chewing with maximum effort. You shake your head, smiling at just how normal the girl was. You were just glad she found joy in chicken nuggets still, and didn't request challenging dishes every meal quite yet.

Insisting on wearing her fluffy pink footie pajamas, Rylie then sat in your lap on the couch, her stuffed beagle clutched in her hands as you brushed out her wet-clean locks.

"Braid it pretty?" She asks, and you leaned in, kissing the top of her little head. She grinned, holding her little beagle's head to her lips and kissing it's head just the same.

"Anything for you, Riles," you say, getting to work on the long strawberry strands. She sits very patiently for a four year old; that is, until you've secured the band at the end of your work and the front door creaks open.

"Daddy!" She's up in an instant, running to the door with glee and clinging to her father's leg the moment she spots him. You stay seated a moment longer, listening from the living area but not quite ready to see Eris yet. After the tense conversation last night, you couldn't help but feel... awkward, after the conversation.

After a few minutes, Riley has retreated to the living room looking rather dejected. Your brows knit as she stalks toward you, her beagle hanging limply from her fingers.

"Daddy says bedtime. You take me please?" She says, looking down at the floor. You frown, your hands lifting under her arms as she wraps her legs around your waist.

"Of course sweetie," you try to sound upbeat, but she only lays her head on your shoulder. You pet her head, wrapping your other hand around her to keep her propped up against your waist as you make your way to her end of the Wing. You look around as you go, not seeing any sign of Eris on your way. He literally just got home, what the Hell could he possibly have to do right now?

Once you reach her room, you place her gently atop her plush duvet, her eyes half closed when her head touches the pillow. You pull a loose blanket over her legs, knowing sometimes she gets cold at night, and kiss her little cheek one last time before moving toward the door.

"Y/N," she whispers. Your eyes meet hers in the dim light, your fingers stalling as they reach for the glowing tableside lamp.

"Yes dear?"

"Can you please read? Please?" Her bottom lip trembles. "D-daddy always reads... he reads my book..." she sucks in a breath of air, and you rush over to her bed, taking her little hand in yours.

"Yes, of course honey!" You say, hoping she will feel better. "I would love to read you a story," you look left and right, searching for any tomes near her bed. She lifts a limp hand, her finger pointing to the book resting at the opposite end of her bed.

"You'd like that one? The Kissing Hand?" She nods, one tear slipping free and running down her cheek. You hastily grab the book, and she scoots over, making a space for you to lay beside her. You scoot close, reaching an arm around her and she snuggles close as you flip open the book. Her little fingers wipe her tear from her cheek, and you begin to read.

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You weren't sure when you'd drifted off, but when you slipped back into consciousness, your back ached from its cramped position on the small bed. You looked around, the darkened room coming into view as well as the peacefully sleeping babe next to you.

You must have fallen asleep reading to her, you thought. Surely you'd left the lamp on though; its glow would come in handy now as you tried to slip silently out of her embrace, sneaking out in absolute darkness. At least the door was still cracked open.

You'd stumbled around quietly enough and made it down the hallway to the kitchen, the clock on the wall coming into view.

Four in the morning. Gods.

You kept walking, feeling along the walls until you found your bedroom door, and let yourself inside.

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You woke up that morning to the delicious smell of cinnamon and sugar, the comfort of your plush bed surrounding you as the first light of day drifted through your curtains. You yawned, stretching out your arms and slowly opening your eyes.

Ahh, what a lovely morning.

Morning. The sun was out.

You threw the covers off of you hastily, your bare feet hitting the cold wood floors in a rush as you lunged for your door handle. Riley was surely awake by now, and surely starving. You bounded down the hallway, your steps faltering when you heard her familiar ramblings from the kitchen and registered the smell of food wafting through the air.

As you approached, you watched in pure shock as Eris stood over the kitchen island, his hand holding his daughters as he helped her spread icing over a tray of steaming cinnamon rolls, smiling and talking along with her. He hadn't noticed you walk in; but she sure did.

"Y/N! Finally! You're awake!" She squealed happily, and you forced a smile, still confused by the scene before you. Eris looked up then, his eyes meeting yours only briefly before he went back to the treats he was making.

"Good morning Riley," you said hesitantly, stepping closer toward the island. Eris' eyes flicked up again, snagging on the silk pajamas you'd changed into before collapsing onto your bed last night. You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Good morning. Eris." You said, and his mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Morning Y/N." He said plainly before turning to Riley, lifting her off the counter and setting her on the ground.

"Bunny, why don't you set the table," he handed her the silverware and a few plates. "And we'll join you in just a few minutes?" She nods, skipping into the dining room, as Eris braces his hands against the countertop, his eyes locked on yours once more.

You stare back, shrugging when you can't understand the point of standing in silence. "What?" You ask. He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Y/N, I'm sorry for the... discussion. We had. The other night, it was... highly, unprofessional." He nodded, looking down at the pan of cinnamon rolls once more. You raised an eyebrow, a soft laugh erupting from your lips and causing him to flick his gaze to you again.

"What is funny?" He asks, seeming a bit taken aback.

"Nothing, no," you say, smiling softly at him. "I just... Eris, I live in your home. I spend every day with your daughter. I think we're beyond professional, aren't we?" You say. He cocks his head to the side, a small smirk curving the side of his lips.

"I suppose we are, then."

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Daddy. These cimanim rolls. Are. Delicious!" Riley grins with delight, Eris' expression a mirror of his daughter sitting next to him at the table. You watch the two and your heart swells; one day, you could only dream of having something so special as that.

"Why, thank you Princess!" Eris says, and she holds her chin high. You shake your head at her, and Eris' eyes meet yours, his face giving away exactly what he's thinking. After a few more quiet moments, he speaks up again.

"Bunny, I wanted to ask you about doing something fun today," he says, and Riley immediately perks up.

"Fun?" She asks, and he nods.

"In the Town Square, there is the Autumn Festival, and it would make me very happy as your daddy if you would go with me-"

"Yesss!" She shrieks, every single one of her teeth showing as she smiles in excitement. You can't help but feel so happy for her -- she deserves time with her father, and he's finally home to spend it with her, doing something she had been longing to do anyway.

"Ohmygosh I can't wait! I will wear my Princess dress so everyone knows I am a Princess, okay," she explains hastily, only pausing to take a sip from her glass of milk.

Eris nods, looking to you. "I figured you may appreciate at least a day off as well," he adds quietly, and you offer him a gentle smile. Truly, you didn't need one, but you appreciated his consideration all the same. Riley doesn't quite catch the incinuation, though.

"Y/N, you have to wear a dress. You can't borrow from me this time because you're too big," she says, hopping from her chair. "You have a dress?" She asks. Your eyes meet her dad's and his mouth opens to answer first.

"Bunny," he starts. "I don't think Y/N was going to come today," he explains. Rileys brows knit in confusion as she looks at him.

"Why not?"

"Well," he says, trying to tread lightly. "Maybe Y/N has other things she would like to do today. It's okay though; just me and you can go." He says, but Riley looks to you, her eyes looking you up and down.

"What... what else do you want to do though?" She says, and you chuckle.

"Riley, honey, today you can go have fun with your daddy, alright? Me and you play here everyday," You reason with her. She doesn't let up, and Eris studies you from across the table.

"Daddy -- can Y/N just come too?" Riley says. You sigh, looking to Eris for help, but he only stares quietly at you, a small smile on his lips.

"I really will just stay here-"

"Yes." Eris says, and you meet his eyes, Riley spinning in happy little circles at the end of the table. "Y/N can absolutely come with us today."

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Part 3

[thelov3lybookworm]

Soon, My Love.

Summary: Eris never thought he would be much of a poet, but being with Y/n has proved him wrong.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1845

Warnings: hints of beron being a meanie, curse words ig, uhh and a beaten up eris :( uhhh also its kinda cheesy ngl lmaoo

A/n: yall these two are adorable i cant omg 🥺 again, ily all soo much for everything🥹

anyways, enjoy!

P.S BERRY ILY THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME AND LETTING ME YAP (yes i will say this in every days post leave me alone)

p.p.s: this is again based on an indian song....

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

It was one of those days again. The high lord was mad again, and his eldest son had once again been dragged to the dungeon.

No one talked about why he was taken to the dungeon so often, nor did anyone question why he always ended up locked in his quarters with healers at hand for days after.

But everyone knew why.

He was beaten.

Like some training dummy, he was always dragged to the dungeon by his father to be beaten to a pulp, within an inch of death before being tossed back to his rooms.

No one was allowed to enter his chambers after these beating sessions, but being a maid, Y/n was let in to clean his room.

Being a maid, she was underestimated. After all, what would a lowly servant do? Heal the wounds faster? Give him the things he was deprived of? Love and comfort?

Yes, yes she would.

He had been summoned by the high lord a few hours before, so Y/n knew it was time for her to go check up on her lover.

She had heard through some of the older servants that Eris had been taken to his room moments prior, and that the healer seemed more calm than usual. It in turn calmed Y/n, knowing Eris’s condition was probably better than any of his previous beatings.

Broom in hand, she scurried through the winding corridors, her head hanging, her shoulders curved inwards as she knocked on his chamber doors. The door swung open, and the healer's assistant let Y/n in. Quietly, she began her work, trying to peek into the bedchambers.

She was rewarded.

He was naked from the waist up, bruises littering his torso, decorating his face. It made Y/n’s heart thud in pain, watching him hurt. But this was still better than him being covered in blood, unable to move without assistance.

"My lord, are you sure you don’t want me to heal-"

"Are you deaf, Wood?"

The healer’s mouth shut with an audible click, and moments later, he was shuffling out of the bedroom into the sitting area, his assistant hot on his heels as they left, closing the door behind them.

Y/n released a sigh, then leaned the broom against the closest wall before she entered Eris’s bedchamber.

His eyes met her, instantly lighting up, a barely noticeable tilt to his lips.

"How are you?"

He shrugged like she was asking him about the weather and not his health. "Been through worse."

She gave him a stern look. "Can you never answer like a normal person?"

"Am I a normal person?" She shook her head, tired of his antics as she stepped closer, now within touching distance. "Then I suppose I can’t."

Y/n sighed, eyeing the healing bruises on his face, under his eyes, on his jaw, his cheeks.

Her hands were shaking, but she tried to force them to still as she reached up, gingerly touching the black-blue spots.

He hissed, and she jerked back, tears in her eyes.

"Does it hurt?" She whispered, vision blurring.

"I told you, Y/n, I’ve been through worse. I’ll survive-"

"But I won’t!"

He leaned back like he’d been slapped, his eyes fixed on her. She huffed, angrily swiping at her cheeks, cursing the damned tears that rolled down the expanse of skin.

She cursed herself for already crying.

"How long, Eris? When is he going to stop?"

Eris swallowed. "My love, It’s not that easy to kill him-"

"I know that, Eris. But I can't see you getting hurt every other day. Can’t see you get beat over nothing. I- I just can’t."

Y/n sniffled, her hands roving over the multiple bruises on his torso, avoiding his gaze.

"Y/n." His fingers reached up to cup her jaw, lifting her head, the other one reaching out to grab one of her shaking hands. "I know, my heart. I know it pains you to see me hurt, but there is nothing I can do by myself. I have to wait for my allies to formulate their plan, so I can have aid-"

"And when are they going to be done formulating their plan?"

The vanserra sighed, shaking his head. "They say they are planning, and as much as I wish to ask them how long it is going to take, I cannot rush them."

Y/n glared at her secret lover. "I swear to the mother if they don’t get that bastard to his designated hell soon, I will."

Slowly, a grin spread across his inviting lips, and Y/n surged forward, burying her head in the crook of his neck. "I want you to be happy, Eris. I just want you to live freely, without worrying whether breathing a little too loud will get you in trouble."

"I know, sweetheart, I know."

He pulled her closer. As close as he could while sitting on the table, his legs swinging as she stood between them.

Eris pressed his lips to the crown of her head, sighing.

"Soon, my love, soon."

She nodded against his skin, closing her eyes.

"And when he’s gone, I can finally let the whole world know I belong to you." He teased, his breath tickling her ear.

Y/n giggled in response, pulling away as she slapped his chest. She met his gaze, the warmth, the happiness in them warming her insides.

Even the sight of him simply smiling brought her indescribable happiness. She did not know what she would do when he actually found the happiness he deserved, without restraints.

Watching him now, she was reminded of the lines in a poem she had once read in a book when she was younger, the book as worn and loved as the lines were to her.

I laugh when you sing,

I cry when you wither away,

I get drenched in the shower of your love, my love.

She had not understood how someone else’s emotions could affect the other’s happiness so much, but now as she stared at those eyes she could hardly breathe without, she understood.

She used to think being in love would be like finding yourself someone to come home to. Someone to kiss and hug and live with.

But oh how wrong she was.

Love was so much more than that.

It was having someone to tend to your wounds, someone who would do everything for you just to see that flash of happiness in your eyes.

It was waking up to a warm world on the coldest winter night, it was the first sun after long days of rain, it was the first spring flowers after a long desolate season of grey.

It was knowing that your heart, mind and soul no longer belonged just to you, and still being happy to share yourself with someone else for the sole reason that you trusted this other being.

It was knowing happiness after a lifetime of suffering, it was peace after a century of restlessness.

It was hugging Eris, giggling after long days of sobbing together.

Soon, he had said.

"I’ll go now, or someone is bound to come looking."

Eris’s mood instantly soured. He grumbled under his breath, but Y/n only laughed, standing on her tiptoes as she pressed her lips to his cheek.

"I’ll see you later, hmm?"

He nodded, his sad eyes following her back, his lingering gaze like a soft caress as she closed the door behind her.

Soon.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Everything stopped in a moment,

When you held my hand with yours .

I shall follow wherever you are going.

You’re always by my side when I look,

I am the season and you’re the breeze, Sweetheart.

Eris smiled, leaning back as he surveyed his work. He had always been much of a literature freak, but he had never thought his love for reading poems would then turn him into a poet too. He could write poetry, sure, but he had never had the desperate urge to.

But maybe that’s what love does to a person.

Ever since he’d met the shy little baker on the outskirts of town, he had begun writing poetry in hopes it would help him decipher the unknown beating of his heart, the different rhythm he had never experienced before, the unnatural warmth that made his whole body tingle every time she even blinked his way.

Of course, he had been right in that it helped him understand what this feeling was.

He just didn’t think he would be in love when he started.

You gave me all the colours of love,

And pulled me towards yourself,

Let’s get lost somewhere,

Where the time shall stop forever,

And tomorrow never comes, Sweetheart.

The day he had confessed his love- however unexpected- had been the happiest day in his life.

He’d had a nightmare that morning, of Beron finding out about the bakery his son had been frequenting a little too much for it to be considered normal. He had jerked up in his bed, panting and trying to hold back his sobs.

He had decided then that he would have to either stop visiting without letting her know his feelings, or he would have to stop visiting after confessing his feelings.

He knew which he preferred.

So he had gone to a jeweller early in the morning, picked two rings, and then ran to the quaint little building.

Y/n had been surprised when he had shown up to her doorstep, huffing as he begged her to follow him to the nearby forest because he wanted to talk, but after a lot of pleading, she had agreed.

That day, he had asked her to marry him. He had slipped the ring onto her finger, and then told her he would have to stop meeting her because it would then put her life in danger.

The next week, as he was strolling through the palace lawn, he had spied a new maid.

He had been over the moon that day, catching himself smiling at times when no one was present.

That day, Eris had made a vow to himself.

If you want, I’ll give you a million dreams,

If you’re happy then so am I

And as he had watched her leave, just a few hours prior, he had decided that maybe, rushing his allies would not be too bad.

Fuck waiting, he was tired of watching her eyes flash with sadness everytime he had to tell her that she would have to continue watching him get tortured every time his father threw a temper tantrum.

So he had written a letter just after she left, telling Rhysand to, basically, get his shit together or their deal was off.

If they wouldn’t help him kill his bastard of a father, then he would do it himself, consequences be damned.

He had promised himself that he would do anything to make her happy, and so he would.

Even if it forced him to choke his father to death.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

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Eris Vanserra Taglist: @fell-in-luvs @azrielsmate3 @tele86 @caraaaaugh @ysmtttty

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[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

my fav book annotations

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Loose Lips — Part Two (Eris Vanserra x Reader)

Finally got round to writing a part two to this after a sudden burst of inspiration. Here is Part One if you missed it.

This isn't proofread, so sorry if it's a pile of dicks. Enjoy!

Warnings: smuttysmutsmut 🌶️

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･

The forest was undoubtedly beautiful. A place of sure serenity. Somewhere you’d always found peace.

Right now, you felt like nothing short of a thunderbolt in its flawless midst.

You shifted on your feet for what felt like the millionth time, pressing your back against a tree and crossing your arms over your chest. You wouldn’t be able to relax until this meeting was over with.

Rhysand’s violet eyes flicked over you, and he frowned. “Are you alright? Why are you so restless?”

Because we’re here to meet with Eris and the last time I did that I somehow, kind of, maybe ended up fucking him—

“Fine.” You quickly answered. “Pain. My cycle is coming.”

Rhys’s eyes softened. “We’ll make this as quick as possible. Once the prick actually deigns to show up.”

You didn’t have a shred of doubt that Eris’s tardiness was deliberate — a power play. And he could play all the games he liked, so long as he kept his damn mouth shut.

As if you’d summoned him with a thought, the Autumn male appeared out of a chill-kissed breeze, his crackling-fire-and-cinnamon scent enveloping you. You tried desperately to block it out — and the sinful thoughts that accompanied it. Of bare skin. Panting breaths. Moans—

“Afternoon.” Eris smirked, sliding his hands into his pockets. He offered Rhysand a cursory glance before turning his attention on you. “You’re looking radiant today, Y/N.”

You pursed your lips. Kept your mouth shut. You weren’t getting into it with him — weren’t giving him any ammunition to spill the truth of what had transpired a month earlier.

His lips twitched as he studied you. “What, no smartass response?”

“Cut the shit, Eris.” Rhys rolled his eyes. “Share your information so we can get out of here. We don’t wish to be subjected to your tedious company for any longer than is necessary.”

He cocked his head, and you hated that you noticed he’d cut his hair since you’d last seen him. “Do you not like my company?”

You knew his words were directed at you. He’d come here to play games, and you were having none of it. He allowed his gaze to linger on you for a second longer before turning to your High Lord.

“Well?” Rhys cocked an eyebrow.

Eris folded his arms. “The King of Hybern…”

You didn’t allow yourself to hear the rest of his sentence. For the first time in your career as Rhysand’s courtier, you tuned out, taking in none of the information that was being given. You didn’t hear a word of their discussion as you stared fiercely at a fallen leaf on the ground. You couldn’t.

Because it tortured you on a daily basis that you knew what the redhead’s voice sounded like when he was falling off that precipice into blissful release. The way it had hitched when he’d groaned deeply and spilled into you. It was all you could think about, and you couldn’t bear it.

Guilt had eaten away at you ever since. Guilt and regret. You should never have given yourself to Eris fucking Vanserra.

You only felt safe enough to tune back in when Rhys turned his gaze on you. He gave a subtle dip of his chin, and you returned it — the signal the two of you shared when you’d gleaned useful information to tuck away.

Never mind the fact that you didn’t have a single clue what that information may be.

“Alright, then.” Rhys spoke tersely to the Autumn lord. “Keep me updated. I’ll be in touch when I next need to meet with you.”

“Will it be you, High Lord?” Eris’s lips turned up. He glanced at you. “Or her? I must say, I find her far more appealing to look at.”

“I’ll keep it a surprise. Something to look forward to in your sad little life.” Rhys turned to you, holding out a hand. “Ready?”

You shook your head. “You go. I promised Madja I’d collect some herbs for her while I’m here.”

A small, pathetic part of you wanted to beg Rhys to stay; to keep you company and not leave you alone with Eris. But he was a busy male — far too busy for the drama you’d created for yourself. You plastered a smile on your face.

“I’ll see you at home, then.” He smiled. And without a goodbye to your tentative ally, he disappeared before your eyes.

Eris smirked as he turned to you. “And then there were two.”

“Leave me alone.” You pulled your foraging knife out, turning on your feet. You didn’t look back as you began to kick through leaves and twigs.

But, of course, he was hot on your trail. “That’s not a very nice thing to say to somebody who made you cum not once, not twice, but three times.”

You clenched your jaw, ignoring him as you knelt down in front of a cluster of plants. You would do better this time. You wouldn’t allow your mouth to run you down a path you couldn’t come back from.

He didn’t make it easy, though. Not as you tried to focus yourself solely on gathering the herbs Madja had listed. Despite the lack of conversation — or even acknowledgement of him — Eris pressed himself against a tree and watched you, absentmindedly cleaning his nails with the point of a dagger.

How could you ever have fallen into bed with him? You were such a damn idiot, risking everything for a few fleeting moments of passion. You tucked the herbs neatly away, pushing to your feet and brushing dirt and leaves from your breeches. You turned—

And stopped as Eris appeared in front of you. He smirked. “I’m still waiting, Y/N.”

You cocked an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For you to thank me for not spilling your dirty little secret.”

Prick. You shoved past him, ignoring his warmth, his scent.

He was at your side in seconds. “Aren’t you so relieved that I didn’t slip up and tell Rhysand about your little ride? I still could.”

Every last drop of your sensibility fizzled out. You couldn’t stop yourself from rounding on him. “Are you truly in a position to be threatening me? Both of us fucked up that night. What do you think Beron would have to say if he found out you’d bedded someone from the Night Court, of all places?”

“My father doesn’t care who I bed. I’m free to do whatever I please, so long as it doesn’t distract me from the ultimate goal.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

His amber gaze glittered, catching the sun. “World domination.”

You rolled your eyes. “How very cliche.”

You made to push past him again, to get the fuck out of there, but his hand was suddenly gripping onto yours. In seconds, he had you pressed against the body of a tree.

You clenched your jaw. “Get. The hell. Away from—”

The remainder of the sentence didn’t have a chance to so much as form as Eris’s mouth found yours.

The press of his kiss was hot and needy, and as his lips moulded with yours, he groaned.

It was that action that made you realise just how little space existed between your bodies. His hips were pinned to yours, keeping you in place, and the warmth of him seeped into you as your breasts brushed his chest. Within seconds — mere seconds of him kissing you — you felt him harden in his breeches. His groan seemed to vibrate through every part of him and into you.

And then he was tearing his lips from yours. Staring down at you. “Fuck, you taste amazing. I’ve thought about nothing but this,” he rolled his hips against you, making sure your attention went exactly where he wanted it, “for over a month, now. Tell me you’ve been just as crazed.”

You had been. Perhaps more so. But you swallowed. “I can’t.”

That didn’t deter Eris from slanting his lips over yours again. His tongue swiped out, brushing against the seam of your lips, and you were powerless against your need as you opened your mouth and allowed him to dip in.

You gasped at the first taste of him; something cool and crisp and smoky. And you knew you were done fighting, telling yourself you didn’t want this, as you grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and hauled him more firmly against you.

He grunted as the hard evidence of his arousal pressed against your stomach. His lips slid from yours, dragging slowly over your cheek, and then the cut of your jaw, down to your neck.

“You’ll be the death of me.” He panted, pressing quick, chaste kisses to the hollow of your throat. “Tell me to stop.”

You swallowed, knowing there was no chance in hell of that. “No.”

And that single word — as much as it pained you to say it — dragged such a delicious, guttural noise from him, that you forgot entirely about who you were and why this was wrong. Nothing else mattered in that moment other than what Eris was doing.

Your mouth went so very, very dry as he pulled away to meet your gaze. And then lowered himself to his knees before you.

He was utterly uncaring of the dirt and leaves that stuck to his breeches as he clasped your legs. And the hard press of his hands felt scorching through your own pants. You wouldn’t be surprised to find that he’d turned the clothing to mere ash he dragged his palms up the backs of your legs and cupped your ass.

“You’re fucking mouthwatering.” He dipped in, pressing a kiss to your stomach through your shirt. “I need to taste you.”

“Holy gods.” You cursed, your head falling back against the tree. “Do it, then.”

Like a male entirely starved and desperate, his nimble fingers moved to the buttons on your breeches, making quick work of getting them undone. The second they were loosened enough, he yanked them down with a feral command that had heat rushing between your legs.

And he could scent that. You knew it. He inhaled deeply, and his responding moan was sinful.

“This is wrong.” Your voice was weak, useless, as your head fell back.

“So wrong.” Eris hooked his fingers into the thin waistband of your undergarments. Tugged them down..

You made no move to stop him. “And stupid. And selfish. And—”

Your words turned into a moan as he dipped in and dragged his tongue up the very centre of you.

A satisfied grunt left him, and he lifted your leg, hoisting it over his shoulder. It had you at a better angle, closer to him, so he could feast on you.

And feast, he did.

His mouth and tongue were renowned for wielding wicked, barbed words, but this was a different language entirely. His fingers dug into your legs as he buried himself between your thighs, licking and lapping and fucking devouring. He made his way up, scraping teeth over your clit, the sensation both pleasant and unpleasant. Before you had a chance to react, he soothed over the area with the pad of his tongue, and a bolt of white-hot pleasure surged through you.

“Oh, gods.” Breathy words escaped your lips. Thank the Mother above for the mammoth tree at your back that gave you the support to move as you wished to move, undulating your hips, grinding against Eris’s face.

And from the way he growled and feasted on you harder, you knew he liked it. He was becoming coated in you, painting himself with your wetness. With the roll of your hips picking up pace, he didn’t falter once.

“Look at you.” He breathed, eyes flicking up to drink you in. “You’re a fucking vision.”

“Stop talking and make me—oh.”

Your hips bucked as he slid a finger into you, the friction of his callused skin like a sinful bite you wanted more of. You didn’t know if you vocalised that, or if Eris simply read you well, but he quickly added a second finger, pumping them in and out.

“Just as you felt around my cock that night.” He panted. “Squeezing me like that.”

You threaded your fingers through his hair, needing to just…to just grab onto something. He seemed to like it as you pulled, and he thrust his fingers faster in return.

“I’m going to make you come on my fingers.” His tongue stroked at you. “And again on my cock.”

Somewhere, some steeled part of you wanted to give a smartass retort. But you were far too gone, splintering into tiny shards of pleasure against that tree. There was nothing, in that moment, besides the sensations Eris Vanserra dragged from between your thighs. No long-lived feuds or tentative alliances or right or wrong.

It was just him. His fingers. His tongue.

And it sent you hurtling right off that blissful cliff edge into release.

As you came, you thought you maybe shouted loud enough to frighten the birds from the trees. Your pleasure was a fearsome force as it stormed your body, your mind, your soul, until you weren’t sure who you’d be without it. How you could survive not experiencing this weightlessness again.

And Eris…he seemed to enjoy your pleasure as much as you did. Even though his cock strained through his breeches, touched by nothing but torturous fabric, his tongue and fingers continued to guide you through your climax, and he peppered in filthy, scandalous words that you were far too fractured to make sense of.

Until he pulled back to look up at you again. “I’ve wanted you since the second I first saw you.” He said.

You weren’t sure you could deny, any longer, that this truly had been going on for that long. It didn’t start with that one night of bad decisions driving you into bed with him. It had been years and years of thinly-veiled threats and barbed words and insults and vitriol soaked in lust.

Every bit of hatred you’d ever directed at each other had been to try and avoid this — giving in to a carnal need that had existed between you since the first ever time your eyes had met.

You knew you didn’t have that strength, that resolve, anymore.

“I need you inside me.” Your voice was rough, raw. You reached down, shamelessly yanking Eris to his feet by the fabric of his jacket, not caring that your desperation showed. “Fuck me.”

You wanted it — him — hot and hard and fast and certainly not gentle. You wanted the bark of the tree biting into you as he pounded you from behind. You wanted him roaring as unguarded as you had.

“You’re a little brat.” Was all he responded. And then he was kissing you again.

You allowed him the control of your lips as your fingers tore at the front buttons on his breeches. Nothing was moving fast enough, and you were hot all over, desperate to feel him pulsing deep inside you—

Y/N. I need you back here.

Rhysand’s voice in your head was akin to be plunged in ice-cold water. Damn daemati. You froze in place, your hands falling still.

Eris didn’t seem to notice as he kissed his way along your jaw.

Y/N. Rhys spoke into your mind again. Get back as soon as you can. Need to discuss Azriel’s report.

You sucked in a breath, planting your hands on Eris’s arms. You pushed him off you. “I have to leave.”

He paused, surprise crossing his face. “What?”

“I can’t — I’m needed back home.” Clarity was dawning on you more and more, paired with guilt. You’d fucked up again. You tried to shake the feeling off as you yanked your underwear and breeches up in one go. “I can’t do this.”

“Seriously?” Eris cocked an eyebrow. “You’re leaving now?”

It was an effort not to glance down at the very unsatisfied bulge still pressing through his breeches. “Rhys just spoke into my thoughts. He needs me back.”

“How convenient.”

Of course he didn’t believe you. You had to admit, it didn’t look great — getting an earth-shattering orgasm out of him and then leaving.

But perhaps it was a blessing from the Mother. Perhaps she was stopping you taking it too far a second time.

“Believe what you want.” You pushed past Eris, buttoning your breeches up. “I answer to my High Lord first and foremost.”

“Go running back to him then.” Eris shrugged. And if you weren’t mistaken, you thought that a strange quality lay in his tone. Perhaps hurt, or…or jealousy. “He says jump and you say how high, right?”

“You have your High Lord, Eris,”  you smoothed over the wrinkles in your clothes, “and I have mine.”

He pressed his back against the tree, watching with an unreadable expression as you checked yourself over.

And then the corner of his mouth tipped up. “You’ll be back, sweetheart.”

You shot him a glance over your shoulder. “That is a very, very bad idea.”

You winnowed out of there before he could respond.

[slexenskee]

What Moon Songs (Do you sing your babies)

Sorry I've dissappeared off the face of the earth I'm crawling my way out of the abyss 😭 to make up for it here's 10 google doc pages of the GojoxHawks mpreg AU

(this is AU after the first few chapters of FLW)

//

It’s only afterwards— months afterwards, that he realizes the full extent of his own stupid actions. 

So many things had to perfectly align in exactly the wrong way for this to happen. But each and every one of them was his own damn fault, so there’s really no one to blame here but himself. 

It had to have happened when Hawks had been sick and recovering in his hotel room, that’s the only way the timing lines up. Gojo has always been good about practicing safe sex— considering how he sleeps around, he sort of has to— and has never slipped up even once… until Hawks. Multiple times, actually, not even counting the time he was sick. There’d also been that time in Palawan, when he hadn’t brought any condoms with him because he’d honestly thought he wouldn’t need them. That had been rather profoundly short sighted of him, in hindsight. And then of course there were the time(s) when Hawks was staying in his hotel room, when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and once again Gojo hadn’t thought to go out and buy any condoms because he’d genuinely thought he wouldn’t need any. Hawks had been sick! Basically delirious! How was he supposed to know that the moment he’d recovered enough he’d jump him? And on a related note, how was Gojo supposed to summon up enough willpower to stop him? 

To that point— how was Gojo even supposed to know he should stop him?

That too, though, is entirely his fault.

Apparently it’s a regular part of sex-ed during middle school— except Gojo never went to class in middle school, so he’d entirely missed the memo. With the advent of quirks came a rare genetic mutation that allows for male pregnancies among a small subset of the population. Rare, but not entirely unheard of, either. It was certainly common enough for a segment to be taught in public schools, and testing to be done as part of the gamut of health checks most kids go through around puberty. Most kids aside from Gojo, who was out terrorizing organized crime syndicates just for fun at that age. 

Yeah, he’s a fucking idiot. This entire situation was so laughably avoidable, and yet he’d managed to end up in it anyway. 

Anyway so now he’s having an existential meltdown in the middle of his still unfinished bathroom, staring numbly at the flecks of grout still flaking off the new tile, wondering what the fuck he’s supposed to do now.

“Satoruuu,” a voice whines from the other side of the bathroom door. “I need to pee.”

Gojo scrambles to his feet, binning the evidence of all the pregnancy tests and burying it under a cloud of toilet paper just before he wrenches the door open, smile fixed in place. “Sorry Eri-chan! I was spacing out.”

Eri just takes the excuse at face value, bounding into the only current usable bathroom in the house and shutting the door behind her.

Gojo sighs wearily, slumping against the wall just outside the door.

Alright, first on the agenda is finding a temporary residence for them while he gets an army of contractors to fix the worst of the ‘home improvement’ sins he’s committed upon this house as quickly as possible. He’d originally thought redoing the rooms would be a fun bonding activity for him and Eri, but now he knows all those chemicals will be bad for… for the baby, so that’s probably a bad idea now. He’s also going to need this house in livable condition as fast as he can make it happen, because apparently… there’s going to be a baby here in less than six months. 

He’s also going to need a doctor, and a very good and discreet one at that. From what he’s read in his mad frenzy of online searching, male pregnancies are very high risk. He’s not at all worried for himself, seeing as though he can heal from just about anything, but that same protection doesn’t extend to the other person currently taking up roost inside him. He frowns. Or does it? Wouldn’t his reversed-curse technique still work on them when they’re still a parasite leeching off of his body? When exactly does their cursed energy start to deviate from each others to the point he can no longer heal them as an extension of himself? Man, what he wouldn’t give for a conversation with Shoko right now.

He can worry about things like clothes and furniture and baby food after he’s settled the most immediate concerns on his list. Namely, fixing this house and finding a doctor. And telling Eri, although he doubts that will be much of an issue. The girl will be beyond excited to be an older sibling.

Now as for telling his family and telling Hawks…

Gojo winces.

Yeah, okay. It says a lot that he’d rather tell Endeavor, to his face, that he’s getting another grandchild than fessing up to Hawks about carrying his kid. Even the thought of it is going to give him a stress tumor.

Well, stress is bad for babies, right? So maybe he should just table the thought for later. You know, for his health.

At any rate there are a lot of things he could have done differently to stop himself from getting in this situation, and plenty more he could have done to salvage it had he known about it. 

As it stands, mulling in his own regrets isn’t going to help anyone, least of all himself. 

All he can do now is try to find a viable path forward… whatever that may be. 

“All done,” Eri announces as she closes the bathroom door behind her, sounding inordinately proud of herself. “I washed my hands.” 

Gojo huffs out a laugh under his breath. 

She’s so adorably precocious. With the way she quietly longs for a loving home and family, she’ll be ecstatic to hear she’ll get the chance to be an older sister. She already bosses Meow around like he’s a little brother, and has a troop of stuffed animals she often pretends are her baby siblings. Between living with him and starting a life outside of the traumatic confines of the Shie Hassakai, bringing a new kid into the mix will be a lot on a little girl. But Gojo doesn’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing; the change will be good for her, and help her focus on things to look forward to. 

“Good job, Eri-chan.” He reaches down to ruffle her hair. 

It feels sort of silly to praise someone for using the bathroom and washing their hands properly afterwards, but Fuyumi had told him these kinds of habits are good to ingrain at this age. And at least he never had to worry about teaching her how to use the bathroom in the first place.

He internally winces at the thought. 

At almost six years-old, Eri is fairly self-sufficient. She can’t be left alone in the house, and needs supervision for things like bathtubs and cutting up her own food, but he doesn’t have to worry about her accidentally rolling over and suffocating herself, or falling down the stairs and breaking her neck. She can use words to express herself well enough, and for the most part can be trusted to sleep through the night by herself without incident. 

A baby… can’t do any of that. From what little he remembers of Fuyumi and Natsuo’s births, they can’t even lift their own heads up. 

And he remembers what it was like, having those two toddlers running about the house. Rei tried her best, and she even had housekeepers and maids to help her, but more often than not Gojo ended up having to figure out what the hell to do with these strange babbling creatures that kept trying to follow him around entirely on his own. It was definitely a trial by fire. He remembers dragging Fuyumi and Natsuo to the park by himself, trying to push Fuyumi on a swing while Natsuo wanted to climb on his back. Natsuo had ended up falling off his shoulders while he was attempting to keep Fuyumi from jumping off the swing. The two year-old Natsuo had, shockingly enough, brushed the fall off after a few seconds blinking up at Gojo waiting to see his own reaction; seconds in which Gojo had swore his heart stopped. He’d thought he’d accidentally broken his little brother’s neck. 

He’d refused to come out of his room, let alone spend unsupervised time with them, for weeks after that. 

Eventually he’d had to come to the startling realization that the little brats were more resilient than he thought, but he wasn’t liable to forget how easy they were to kill by accident. 

He didn’t do a… completely terrible job with them, in hindsight. 

He tends to forget about that time in his life, before he’d started sleeping out of the house more often than he did in it, before Rei started locking herself in her room for weeks at a time. But he’d been there for it, even if he didn’t have to care for his siblings in the manner he eventually would once both Rei and Endeavor were out of the picture. And despite his best efforts, there were times when a toddler would be thrust at him and he’d had to figure out what the hell to do with them without making them cry. 

But he hadn’t wanted to be put in that situation, and he’s not sure if he wants it now, either. 

He’s all for owning up to his own mistakes, but there’s more at stake here than just his own sense of responsibility.

He looks down at Eri, who’s blinking up at him with a curious expression. 

“Say, Eri-chan, you wanna go on an adventure today?” 

She tilts her head. “Adventure?” 

//

His very first instinct is denial. 

After that comes a surge of fear. He’s not ready for a baby. He’s not even ready for kids, despite the fact he currently has one. He’s never been ready— not in this life, or his last. He’d always shoved the thought out of his mind before it could take root. 

But standing in the backyard of the Todoroki house, he feels a strange sense of peace and inevitably overcome him. 

Sure, this was unexpected, but is he truly as unprepared as he thinks he is? 

Fuyumi is taking advantage of the unseasonably warm afternoon to spread a picnic blanket out by the pond and pull out a bunch of old picture books for Eri. She wants to start a scrapbook for Eri, now that she’s going to be part of the family, and the first step in that is apparently going through all of their old photos. Fuyumi is a little sad to see the box is mostly full of unused materials, and the books themselves are almost entirely untouched, but rallies admirably and decides to use the afternoon as an opportunity to finish them. 

This wasn’t what Gojo had intended when he’d dropped by the house to see her, but they seem to be having such a good time that he can’t bring himself to interrupt them.

He ends up sitting with them and going through the photos, feeling a bit overwhelmed by how nostalgic they make him. 

As much as he’d tried to run away from it all at the time, he’d been just as much of a parental figure in Fuyumi and Natsuo’s lives as their own two parents. Not because he’d wanted to fill that role, but simply because there was no one else. And at the time, it hadn’t seemed like that monumental of a responsibility. Gojo wasn’t alone in raising them; Endeavor could be counted on to fund their lifestyle, and there had been a vast array of staff to help with various household chores. There were some days when the cook had time off, and the messes around the house became too big to wait for the weekly cleaning service, and Gojo would step in to fill the gap, but for the most part he didn’t have to worry about little tasks like that. Their basic needs had always been taken care of, so it was only the more… personal duties that he ended up shouldering. 

They didn’t have staff for things like walks to school and back, or help with homework, or bedtime schedules. If Fuyumi needed help in the morning with her shoelaces, or Natsuo threw a tantrum because his favorite soccer ball was missing, Gojo had been the one to fill the missing parental role. He was the one who bought them all slip-on shoes just to bypass the hassle of shoelaces entirely, and he was the one who took Natsuo on an adventure to the nearest Donki to placate him with a brand new soccer ball and several other toys on top of that whenever he had a tantrum. 

At the time he’d just brushed all that off as the bare minimum an older brother (who was actually mentally a full grown adult) should do for their younger siblings, but looking back on it, that was parenting. 

The amount of meltdowns he had to endure was enough to make him shudder. Rei was never any good with handling those to begin with, growing anxious and frustrated the longer Fuyumi or Natsuo spent crying, and as the years passed she stopped trying to handle them at all. Gojo wasn’t any better at it, at first, but he’d learned through practice when to distract them and when to just let them cry it out. He’d learned a lot of childrearing tricks through pure trial and error; how to get them out the door for school on time without any whining or tears; how to entertain them on rainy afternoons; how to get them to brush their teeth and comb their hair before bed; how to pick out clothes the night before school so they weren’t scrambling around and wasting time in the morning. 

In hindsight, that was probably why he had very few issues with Eri. Aside from her trauma-related meltdown at the toy store, he very rarely had any problems with tantrums. 

Looking back on all the photos of his youth, he actually comes to realize… he’s more experienced and prepared than he’d originally thought. 

At this point in his lifetime(s), he’s technically raised two sets of kids— three, if he wants to count Eri. And each time he’s ended up in this situation, he’s gotten better and better at handling it. Sure, in all three of these situations he’d never asked to be put in the position of a parental figure, but that didn’t make it any less true.

He’s stunned to realize that at this point… he probably wouldn’t be all that awful at fatherhood. A damn sight better than either of his own fathers, at the very least. 

“So, I’m assuming you didn’t come all the way out here to reminisce on old photos,” Fuyumi says, after they’ve distracted Eri in the yard with an old bouncy ball. 

Gojo sighs, scratching at the back of his neck. He supposes he ought to just rip the bandaid off. “No, I didn’t. I actually… had a bit of a favor to ask you.” 

“Of me?” Fuyumi asks, looking rather mystified and perplexed, as if the thought of Gojo needing anything— let alone help from his little sister— was so surreal she could scarcely believe it. 

“Yeah.” 

He really hates to do this, but he can swallow his pride when he needs to. And right now, there’s really only one person he can entrust with this. 

“... Can you call Endeavor here for me?”

//

Truly, this child… Endeavor is never going to meet with him without having heart palpitations, is he?

“So,” Touya claps his hands, grinning brightly at him. “Remember when I said I couldn’t have kids? I lied.”

Endeavor staggers into the seat behind him, wondering if he’s having an out of body experience. This can’t be happening. This is… he cannot comprehend this. 

The strongest villain— and hero— on the planet, with the spotlight firmly fixed on his every move, with so many viciously hungry enemies waiting to tear him down on all sides of the law, is really trying to tell him that—

“You’re pregnant?” He repeats, voice high with disbelief.

“Surprise!” Touya cheers. “I’ve got… I think six more months until I have a baby? Give or take a few?”

“We have to start shopping,” Fuyumi gushes at his side, already looking effusively giddy at the thought. “We have to come up with a theme for the room! Not to mention all the clothes and the toys… let’s do something matching with Eri-chan! That’ll be so cute!”

Endeavor stares at her like she’s grown a second head. She’s taking this news without breaking stride. She actually looks pleased about it. She’s excited. There’s a new addition to the family, and a new child to dote on. A baby, no less. An excruciatingly helpless, tiny, little baby…

Endeavor cannot share in her joy at all.

He’s absolutely, unequivocally, terrified. He doesn’t think he’s been this afraid in his entire life. 

Despite all the chaos he regularly kicks up on a daily basis, Touya is a hard person to worry about. He’s too powerful, too in control of his own abilities and the world around him, to ever truly worry about him, no matter what life or death situation he finds himself in. 

And right now, at what is undoubtedly the most dangerous time in his life— he’s also at his most vulnerable. 

The fact that he’s here, coming to Endeavor at all, means he’s well aware of this fact. 

Endeavor sighs heavily. 

He wants to be happy for his eldest son. In a way, he thinks he is. Touya is an excellent older brother to his younger siblings, and already a wonderful father to Eri. He’ll be a wonderful father to this new child, too. And he doesn’t hate the thought of grandchildren. The thought of them throws him into a bit of an existential panic, but he’s hardly against the idea. If anything it’s a good thing, that his children are growing up and having families of their own, that he hasn’t ruined that for them in the same way he’s ruined so much of their lives… 

But it’s hard to be happy for him when, at his core, he only feels fear. 

Todoroki Enji has always been a creature full of fear. Fear of his angry drunk of a father, fear of being abandoned by his mother, fear of her new husband that was even worse than her first. As he grew, that fear quickly turned to anger, anger into hatred and, finally, into suffering. It’s a cycle that, in hindsight, he’s shocked he hadn’t pushed onto his own children. Torn of any outlet to feel anger towards, all he can feel now is fear. 

“No,” he finds himself saying, abruptly cutting Fuyumi off.

Both his children turn to look at him.

“It’s too dangerous,” he says. “We’ll have an assistant procure the necessities. No one can find out about this.”

“But, dad…” Fuyumi starts to protest.

He shakes his head adamantly. “This is a very dangerous situation, Fuyumi. You may be a private citizen, but you are well known as my daughter. Even that is worrisome, but if anyone was to connect you to Touya…”

Touya tilts his head at him, expression impossible to read. “You think I’ll be putting her in danger?”

“I think you’re putting yourself in danger.” Endeavor shakes his head. “Touya, this is… your situation is already precarious, and for the next few months, you’ll be at your most vulnerable. The media is already hunting for any information they can find on you, to say nothing of law enforcement and the government. You cannot have word of this getting out.”

Touya just raises a brow. “Are you trying to tell me what to do, old man?”

“No!” Endeavor denies, loudly, scared that his eldest will dismiss his concerns out of hand simply because they’re coming from him. 

He knows he’s never had a good relationship with his eldest son. It’s bold of him to assume he ever even had a relationship with him, at all. Touya has never wanted his advice, even as a child. As an adult, he probably wants it even less. 

“No,” he says, softer this time, closing his eyes. “I know I have no right to tell you what to do— just as you have no reason to ever heed my advice. But if I can offer you any bit of wisdom from my own experience having children in the spotlight, let it be this.”

He all but deflates in his seat, opening his eyes. He’s surprised to see Touya isn’t leaping for his throat at the very thought of his worthless father attempting to lecture him in any capacity. But Touya has always surprised him at every turn, so perhaps he shouldn’t be so shocked. If anything, Touya seems rather willing to hear him out, sitting placidly across from him.

He meets that unyielding, crystalline gaze with a solemn expression. “Your mother went to all her prenatal appointments under a false name,” he starts, slowly. “The doctor was aware of her true identity, but I avoided going there in person.”

That was, in truth, both a precaution and a personal choice. He’s ashamed to say he wouldn’t have wanted to go in the first place, and the security the anonymity gave her was simply a convenient excuse. 

“I can vouch for the security of Mustafu General,” he continues. “Almost every hero in the area uses them, and their discretion is top-notch.” 

He rubs warily at his forehead.

If he’d thought having children as the Number Two Hero was a liability, he cannot even fathom what it will be like for Touya. Rei was a civilian, and the secretive nature of their marriage made her easy to slip under the radar. His face and name may have been known unanimously across the country, but hers had not. But Touya was not only in a physically vulnerable position, he was also the one in the spotlight. And if the father is who he thinks it is…

He clears his throat, awkwardly. “May I ask who the father is?”

Fuyumi looks tentatively towards Touya, brow creasing. Touya doesn’t even bat an eyelash as he says, blandly, “No.” 

Endeavor nods. He’d expected that response. Touya has no reason to confide in him. 

“... Touya,” Fuyumi starts, hesitantly. “Do you think it might be… better to tell him?”

Touya shakes his head. “No, I don’t,” he says. He stares Endeavor down in a way that’s rather pointed as he adds, slowly; “I think, for everyone’s sake, it’s best if that’s left to interpretation. Plausible deniability, and all that.”

Endeavor swallows down the dry lump in his throat. 

Yes, Touya is right. It’s best if he doesn’t have definitive confirmation on who the father is. Nonetheless it’s a damning thing to say. Does Touya not trust Hawks? Perhaps. But more than likely, Touya does not trust who Hawks works for. Even now, the HPSC is maintaining a worrying, awful silence when it comes to International Pro Hero Six Eyes. And Endeavor, as a hero licensed under their jurisdiction, is just as beholden to them. If they come asking, for whatever reason, it’s better for everyone if he has nothing to tell them.

“Touya is right,” he agrees, voice grave. “The less people who know the truth, the better. Myself included.”

Fuyumi purses her lips, but says nothing else.

[lovingdynamight]

“Because I’m older”

Background: Bakugo x f!reader, secret relationship, older girlfriend, fluff, Bakugo being nice

Summary: Bakugo and you have been dating for a while but he doesn’t want the ‘extras’ in his business. So when you both hang you the excuse is that you’re tutoring him, but he obviously doesn’t need it.

You sat in front of the mirror, looking at your hair one last time, making sure every braid was in the right spot before zipping up the jacket you had stolen from Bakugo’s closet the last time you were in his dorm. As you walked downstairs toward the dorm exit, you heard Mirio call out for you.

“Where are you going? It’s getting dark,” he questioned from the kitchen.

“Oh, umm… for a walk,” you quickly replied, hoping he would believe it.

“A walk, huh?”

“Yeah, you know… training was tiring, but I still have a little extra energy. And I can watch the sunset.”

“You mind if I come with?”

“You can’t!—uh, I mean, I’m trying to, like, clear my head, you know? Wind down. Don’t you have to be somewhere watching Eri?”

“So, you’re going to see the problem child from 1A.”

“Fine, but it’s just tutoring.”

“Tutoring a kid that’s a top student almost every day? Look, you may not wanna give me all the details, but I know there’s something going on.”

“I will talk to you later, Mirio,” you said quickly, scurrying out the door and walking to the 1A dorm building.

When you got to the dorms, you pulled out your phone and went to Bakugo’s contact to text him that you were there. As soon as you hit send, the door opened, and Bakugo grabbed your hand, dragging you past his classmates with a very annoyed look. He was grumbling about something you couldn’t quite hear, but you were too focused on all the stares you were getting as he pulled you upstairs to his room.

He opened the door, pulled you in, and turned to lock it—nothing new, since he always did that when you were over. You walked around his room, scanning for anything new since last week, but it was mostly the same—just somehow cleaner than last time.

“What took you so goddamn long, angel?” he asked, sitting down on his bed.

“Well, I’m sorry. Didn’t know I had to drop everything the moment you text me,” you said, sitting next to him. As you looked at him, you could tell something was off—he wasn’t as loud as usual. “Joking, Kats. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, dumbass.”

“Okay, whatever you say. But what are we doing?” you asked, laying back and propping yourself up on his pillows.

“That stupid movie you wanted to watch came out. I guess we could watch it.”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“Tch. Whatever,” he said, looking away and tossing the remote to you.

“Thank you,” you said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek and giving him a one-arm hug.

…………………………………………………………………………….

As you both watched the movie—or, well, you watched the movie while Katsuki laid on you with his face buried in your chest, tightly hugging you—you absentmindedly ran your fingers through his hair.

“Are you sure nothing’s bothering you today?” you asked, massaging his scalp.

“Tch. Annoying-ass Deku,” he mumbled.

Then it clicked. You knew that Katsuki and Izuku didn’t get along too well—they were some sort of male version of frenemies. So it made sense that he was mad about something Izuku did.

“Wanna talk about it?” you asked.

Immediately, he sat up like a dog perking up at a sudden noise, looking at you as if you had just asked if the sky was blue.

“I’ll take that as a no,” you said, amused.

Instead of pushing the topic, you leaned in, pressing three soft pecks against his lips, each one lingering a second longer than the last.

“Tch,” he scoffed, but his grip on you tightened slightly.

“Feeling better yet?” you teased.

He rolled his eyes, but you caught the way his gaze softened. “Just shut up and watch the damn movie.”

Smirking, you pulled him back down against you, resuming your gentle touch against his scalp. Whatever had pissed him off earlier could wait—right now, all that mattered was this quiet moment between you two.

Thanks for reading. All works done by me. Reblogs comments and likes are encouraged and appreciated

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Bad Idea, Right? - Part 5

Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter

Azriel has a heart-to-heart with Y/N. Eris gets the cold shoulder. After a night out, Y/N learns that Eris has yet another secret.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

Warnings: alcohol, language, sexual content

A soft rap at the door brought me to consciousness. Slowly I sat up, rubbing my palms over bleary eyes in an effort to wipe the heavy weight of sleep from them.

Azalea must have snuck out of bed at some point early in the morning. I huffed a laugh at the kid clearly valuing sleep as little as privacy.

“Come in.” My groggy voice rasped, barely more than a whisper.

A pause and then the door slowly opened. I knew this was inevitable but gods, first thing in the morning?

“Hey…” my father said, quietly padding in with a tray in his hands.

“Hey...”

With a shrug of his shoulders he gestured the tray toward me “I, um- I brought food.”

at least the awkwardness was mutual.

A half smile crossed my lips. “I see that.”

Sitting the tray down next to me, he looked down at the edge of the bed, “May I?”

Best get it over with, I suppose.

“Sure.”

He sat, situating his wings so that they wouldn’t knock over the tray. “I know chocolate croissants are your favorite. Your mom offered to make them but I know how much you love the ones from that bakery down by the Sidra so….”

“Thanks, dad.” Avoiding eye contact, I stared at the pastries before me.

We sat in silence for a moment, my eyes finally meeting his. “Want to share one with me?”

Relief crossed his features at the invitation. “That would be great. If you don’t mind.”

I rolled my eyes. “When have we not shared our croissants with eachother? Besides, I see you included two tea cups - or were you expecting me to dual-fist them? I typically reserve that for shots.”

He chuckled. “You used to have tea parties with your toy pegasus, you know. Your shadows would lift the tea cup and pastries to its mouth. That extra cup could have been for anyone.”

“Oh gods. How embarrassing.”

He stared off for a minute, a flash of longing overtaking his features before returning back to the croissants. “Not at all. Your imagination, Y/N, you’ve always known how to sprinkle joy into life. The bond you created with your shadows at such a young age is nothing to be embarrassed of. It’s so different than when I-“

His voice cut out, those damned memories too painful to verbalize.

I extended my hand, resting it atop one of his scarred hands. “I know. I hate them for what they did to you.”

“I don’t need you to hate them for me, love. I just love you and, selfishly, hope that a little bit of that joy was sparked by the environment you grew up in.”

“Are you fishing for a compliment, father?”

His lips quirked as he gestured toward himself. “Me? Never.” he mocked.

I squeezed his hand lightly. “I love you, dad.”

We ate our croissants in companionable silence. Once finished, he paused, taking a breath as if to brace himself.

Aaaand here we go

“So, you and Eris Vanserra?”

“Ugh.. do we have to do this?”

“Can’t we talk about it a little bit? I just want to know that you’re okay.”

Dramatically, I grabbed my pillow and let out an exasperated scream into it.

“I promise this is as uncomfortable for me as it is for you.”

“I really don’t want to discuss it.”

“Please, Y/N, don’t shut me out. You don’t have to give me details, I don’t think I can stomach details anyway. Just, please tell me you’re okay. That you’re safe and comfortable in his care?”

“I care for myself dad. I’m an adult female completely capable of making my own decisions. This was MY choice. He has never pressured me into anything that I am not comfortable with. Consent is very important to him.”

He sat contemplatively for a moment. He was carefully toeing a line that he didn’t wish to trip up.

Running a hand along the back of his neck with a wary expression. “As long as you are safe and happy. That’s all I can ask.”

“Happy.” I scoffed to myself.

Agitation immediately shifted my father’s expression “You’re not happy?”

“I’m fine dad. But, don’t expect him to come to family dinner anytime soon. I’m not sure that I’m going to pursue things further with him.”

“What happened?”

I looked to the side in an attempt to hide the hurt in my expression. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sensing the finality of my statement, he sighed. “Okay. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

He stood up, kissing my forehead as he picked up the tray, placing the remaining tea on the side table. “Please talk to your mother about her vision. She’s worried about you too but isn’t as… persistent as I can be.”

“Spymaster, indeed. Speaking of - tell the sneak she can come in.”

“Wh-“ he began, clipping the question as he opened the door to find my sister’s ear pressed up to the other side.

“Azzy, we talked about this.” he chastised.

“I was just listening to see when I could come in! You said it’s rude to interrupt conversations.”

“Touché.” he called over his shoulder as he walked down the hall.

Azalea’s little feet padded over. “Are you okay sissy?”

“Yeah, Azzy. I’ll be fine. Want to have a tea party?” Her face lit up with joy at the question, little wings twitching in excitement.

——————

That evening I was reading a particularly salacious smutty novel and - as if he had a sense for such things - as my fingers dipped below the band of my silken shorts a note appeared on my night stand.

“I’m lonely without my favorite little Shadowsinger spread out on my bed.”

“I’m sure you are.” I muttered to myself, eyes rolling impossibly far back into my head. I chucked his note into the fireplace and did not deign to respond.

Two hours later another note appeared.

“Don’t be shy - come spend the night.”

“Awww. I’m sure your hand can keep you company. Get fucked, Eris.”

“Are you offering, little one?”

Why’d he have to fuck up our perfectly suitable arrangement with his scheming? Truly there was nothing more I wanted than to go bask in the warmth of his bed while he worshipped me from head to toe but…

Ugh. Once again, another note lost to the fireplace. Let the conniving prick stew on his choices. He’d eventually get the message whether I wrote to him or not. He can keep his secrets just as I can keep my hands and mouth among other assets to myself.

——————

Two days and five flirtatious unanswered notes later, I needed to get out of the house. Considering I was pissed at my obvious choice for release, I had to seek an alternative source of entertainment.

Unfortunately, Nyx was out of town “on emissary business” aka “fucking around in the Spring Court.” but at least Adish was available for a visit to Velaris. He winnowed in from Day bringing a gorgeous female with bronzed skin, braided black hair, and golden-brown eyes. A male with dark skin and braids accompanied them, his eyes appearing even more golden than the former, and muscles that could have been handcrafted by the gods. Damn. I had heard of these two, two of Adish’s close friends in his court, but he’d certainly undersold their beauty. Rhys must have approved them for a visit to Velaris with Adish. Luckily for me - I was suddenly available to mingle.

“Y/N” Adish introduced the female first, “This is Hemera, Hem for short.” The female held her chin high before giving a warm, confident nod of greeting. Gesturing toward the equally beautiful male, Adish continued, “This is Apollo - who is rivaled only by Helion in his reputation with the ladies and males of the Day Court.” The tall, broad male only grinned - a beautiful, devious thing - in return. Oh, he was well aware of the amount of eyes lingering on him in this establishment. I couldn’t blame them. Hell, I was one of them.

The night included many shots, mostly compliments of those hoping to garner the attention of Hem and Apollo. And maybe it was the liquor talking but Apollo only seemed to have his eyes on me. After several “accidental” brushes of our hands and thighs - I garnered up the nerve to pull Apollo out onto the dance floor, with Hemera and Adish closely behind.

The dance floor was a blur of colors and bodies and music and motion. My backside pressed tightly against Apollo as his considerably large hands gripped my waist. And unless he had snuck a large dagger onto the dance floor with him, something as hard as steel was pressed against my back.

Damn, those hands correlated quite nicely if my drunken assessment was to be relied upon.

Turning to face him I was greeted by his gorgeous smile and pupils blown wide with lust. The very evident scent of arousal flooding my nostrils. He wanted me, bad. And I just so happened to feel particularly uncommitted at this point in time.

We swayed against eachother for a while longer before Apollo tilted his head in silent question toward a dimly lit corner of the bar, a corner I knew quite well from past endeavors. I only smirked in return as he took my hand and led me over.

Nobody could see us as my shadows shrouded us effectively blocking any view that the darkened corner hadn’t already obstructed. His mouth was on mine in an instant. My hands roamed his broad chest as one of his hand found the curve of my ass and another caressed my jaw. I opened my mouth, allowing access. He was so fucking attractive. My body practically screamed for more but something in my chest pulled as a pang of emptiness tore through me. Fuck it felt so-

So…

Wrong.

“Wait.” I pulled away.

Apollo instantly pulled back staring at me in question.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…”

Disappointment briefly flashed over his features before he gave me a sad, knowing look. “Adish warned me before coming here that you might be otherwise engaged - but when I saw you. Can you blame me? I’m sure you’ve seen yourself in a mirror. Please accept my apologies for taking it too far.”

Relief flooded over me. I owed this man nothing, but his understanding was reassuring. “I appreciate it and I’m sure you’ve seen yourself in the mirror as well. Can you blame me for falling into temptation? You have nothing to apologize for considering I was rather eager to sneak off with you.”

He only extended an arm, “Come on, let’s get back to our friends.”

We headed to the dance floor but that damned pang jolted through me again. Was it guilt? Fuck, I couldn’t feel guilty. Eris and I were not committed and he certainly didn’t deserve my guilt after keeping secrets from me.

The only logical solution to numbing this foreign feeling was-

“Another round of shots!” Hem called out, walking up beside me. She nudged me playfully, “You look like you could use one my friend.”

I fluttered my eyelashes toward the gorgeous female. “We’ve only known eachother a few hours and you get me! You really get me.”

The shots appeared before us and we cheers’d eachother before throwing them back. The rest of the night filled with dancing and more shots, until Adish proclaimed he was going back to the inn he was staying at.

“Why not just stay at Nyx’s place? He’s out of town.”

A gleam shone in his eyes that only meant trouble. “I don’t think Nyx would appreciate the activities that would be taking place tonight in his bed, among other surfaces.”

I looked behind him to see Hem and Apollo staring hungrily toward him.

Oh.

Oh!

“We’d offer an invitation but you seem to be missing a certain Uncle of mine too much to partake.”

“I refuse to respond to such nonsense. Regardless, you feel too much like family at this point. Which, gross, don’t read into that - but I’m going home. Thanks for coming out to cheer me up tonight.” I kissed my friend on the cheek before exclaiming loudly enough for his companions to hear. “As your High Lord himself would say: Don’t do anything Helion wouldn’t do!”

——————

Typically I would winnow home but alcohol and winnowing are not my specialty. I’ve ended up in too many wrong places over the years and had far too many shots tonight to even consider.

My body was overheated from the liquor and dancing and my heart still kept getting hit with waves of…. Ugh, feelings.

Like a raving lunatic, I strolled alongside the Sidra. Cursing Eris, bargains, feelings, great sex, and everything else that came to mind. Fortunately, Velaris has a very low crime rate and I wouldn’t have to worry about anybody with ill intentions approaching the sweaty female shrouded in manic shadows, stumbling around and talking to herself.

No matter how hard I’d try, my thoughts kept circling back to him. And I must have hit the alcohol way harder than I realized as a blur of red came into view, coming closer and closer to me.

“Adish?”

“Hello, little one.”

The unmistakable seductive voice that I knew far too well caressed my senses as a warm, muscled arm wrapped around my shoulder.

“Eris.”

“It appears you’ve had a lot to drink, darling. You’re literally stumbling in the wrong direction. Let’s get you home.”

Fuck. How much did I drink?

I opened my mouth to speak but pain tore through my stomach, nausea rolling through me. It was all I could do to turn away from Eris and puke onto the street.

“I…. I need to sit for a while. I can’t go home like this.”

“Come on Shadowsinger, we’ll go back to my place then.”

“Fuck.” I muttered. My vision spinning. “I can’t make it home! Let alone” I paused as another wave tore through me. “Back to the Autumn Court.”

Eris paused for a moment, seemingly in a moment of uncertainty before releasing a long sigh.

“I know love. We’ll go back to my apartment - it’s two blocks from here. Think you can make it?”

My only response was to turn away and throw up onto the sidewalk again before blurting out:

“What the fuck?”

———————————————

Tags: @b0xerdancer @myheartfollower @ang-taylorsversion @acotarobsessed @uniquecolorwizard @justasillylittlegoofyguy

[bluemoonsunrise]

Demons and Savages

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, fuck u miles quaritch, tension you could cut with a knife, nsfw themes: grinding, biting, scent marking???. enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: o_0 long… <3 ur welcome

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

< previous chapter

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter five

— i know you —

the chopper was louder than you remembered. it made it hard to sleep even with the protective headphone over your ears. leaving before the sun was up, you were utterly exhausted. if your head was pounding bad enough to make you scowl with your eyes closed, you couldn’t imagine the headache jake had from his link being broken. with your head rested on his shoulder, the two of you tired your best to sleep.

you wished you hadn’t.

she came to you in your dreams.

“hey,” grace’s voice was gravelly over the headset. you felt her nudge your leg. “twin one and twin two, wake up before you miss it.”

you let out a soft whine as you stretched. beside you, jake yawned. he turned his head away from the glaring morning sun and tucked it down into your shoulder despite the mask. the cool breeze of oxygen was vital— but you really wished you could’ve taken it off to rub the sleep from your eyes. blinking hard, you tried to focus.

“oh, holy shit…”

emerging from the clouds, the hallelujah mountains came into view. the massive, floating rocks were covered in green. waterfalls fell into sprays of cool mist that wafted into the helicopter that helped wake up jake. he, too, stared dumbfounded outside.

“ain’t it something?” grace asked.

you turned your head to look at her and all you could do was nod. your eyes welled with tears you didn’t let fall. it was gorgeous. too gorgeous. earth — even as pretty as it was in its prime — could’ve never ever compared to the majesty and the glory that was pandora.

“aaaand that’s another job well done, folks. thanks for traveling air pandora. tips are appreciated.” trudy said in a perfect public service voice as she began to shut down the chopper.

“best damn pilot this side of the universe.” jake said.

trudy smirked. “you know it, baby.”

blue base: hidden was where you would be spending the next handful of months with grace, norm, trudy, and jake. setting up the field lab was no easy task. there was much to do. air filters had to be cleaned. link-pods and tech needed to be recalibrated to deal with the flux vortex. a new radio channel had to be set up in all the walkie-talkies. food needed to be stored away. bunks needed to be prepared.

you had so much to do— too much to do.

and yet you couldn’t stop thinking about tsu’tey.

“hey, where are you going?” grace asked as you rose from the table. you had all eaten dinner as a group once all the work had finally gotten done.

“i have to link.” you said as you tossed away your trash and took a last sip of water.

“it’s late. you should wait until tomorrow.” grace said with a small shake of her head.

“i can’t. i’m sorry.” you frowned at her and whispered, “it’s important. he needs to know.”

while the other three at the table exchanged confused glances, grace only sighed. she got up without another protest and fired up the link-pod. you climbed inside and laid back.

fuck was it going to be hard not to fall asleep.

as soon as your head hit the spongy blue foam, you could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. as soon as the hatch shut and your eyes closed, your vision tunneled into white.

the warm night air and smell of pandoran dinner were a comfort you didn’t know you needed. you laid by yourself for a moment. you were tired. incredibly so. it had been nearly two days since you’d been in your avatar at this point. traveling to the hallelujah mountains and setting up blue base: hidden had taken more time than you thought it would.

the center of home tree was alive with music and dancing. a massive bonfire in the middle of the gathering burned like a second sun. shadows danced across the walls as voices echoed in song. you couldn’t help but smile. you couldn’t help, either, as you scanned face to face looking for him.

“dream-walker, you’re awake.” the tsahik said.

your turned. sitting with her daughter, mo’at ran her fingers over a beaded chord. neytiri did not look at you as you crouched down to be level. instead, she focused on her own beaded chord.

“what’s all this?” you asked with a glance around at the festivities.

“a celebration of life.”

neytiri’s voice was like snow. cold and beautiful. it almost hurt your ears how pretty it was— and you realized it was the first time you’d ever heard her speak.

she met your eyes and said, “there has been a death since you were last here. we mourned and now we celebrate.”

your heart sank.

for a split moment— a moment you never wanted to live again, you thought it was him.

where was tsu’tey?

“an elder passed in her sleep.” the tsahik said. she watched your expression. she seemed to know exactly what you feared. “she lived a long, full life. now she will live forever in eywa.”

“i’m sorry for your loss…” you whispered, saying the only thing you could offer.

“there is no loss,” neytiri said without looking at you. instead, she was focused on something behind you. “you cannot lose what was not really yours.”

“eris.”

you looked up at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue. you shot up, your pupils blown wide. tsu’tey took ahold of your arm and squeezed you. his ears perked and the look in his eyes was one that you’d never thought you’d see.

relief.

“come.” tsu’tey said.

without another word, he whisked you away. he was always doing that. grabbing and pulling you. you wondered as you hurried to keep up with him, when that had become your favorite part of your day.

to your surprise, you left home tree.

where better to talk privately than where no one was at this hour?

“you were gone a long time.” tsu’tey said as he walked beside you through the sunset painted forest. soon, it would be dark and the forest would glow all on its own.

“i know…i’m sorry.” you said softly. you glanced up at him and heat rushed to your face. he was looking at you. “things— uh…things got real crazy real fast. i’m happy to report that jake is not a spy for the RDA.”

“you are sure of this?” tsu’tey asked, his brows drawing together.

“yes.” you said. you cracked a small smile and laughed. “grace is intent on making sure those who would wish to plant spies here never get the chance. she pulled my whole team out of the RDA facility. we are— well…maybe i shouldn’t tell you where we are.”

tsu’tey’s eyes widened and he asked, “are you not at your colony?”

“no. not anymore. we’ve gone wild. we are far from hell’s gate. far from here, too. at least, i think? i’m not really sure where those floating mountains are.”

you slapped your hand over your mouth.

tsu’tey smiled down at you and chuckled. “what? afraid i’ll come and kill you?”

“maybe…” you whispered, letting your hands drop.

“you have proven yourself to be useful, eris, so there is little to gain by killing you.” tsu’tey said. his arm brushed against yours and he met your eyes. “better yet, you’ve proven yourself to be trustworthy.”

your throat tightened and your chest caved but your forced yourself to smile.

silence settled over the two of you as you walked and you were thankful for it. your voice would’ve cracked and you would’ve cried if you had to say anything more. walking with him now, you realized how scared you had been the last 37 hours.

with him, you felt safe.

and it made you cry.

you stopped dead in your tracks and covered your face with your hands. big, wet tears rolled down your cheeks. the stress of the move and the exhaustion due to it made for an awful, potent mix of a complete and utter overwhelm.

“eris?” tsu’tey whispered your name too gently.

“i’m just tired,” you said. you wiped your eyes hard and tried to calm your breath. you looked up at him and shook your head. “i’m fine.”

“let us go back. we will get you back to your body so that you can sleep.” tsu’tey said.

“no.” you shook your head as tears dripped from your eyes. “i don’t want to go back yet. please. i want to stay here. i want to stay with y—”

you caught yourself.

not we’ll enough.

tsu’tey ears perked and his pupils rounded. carefully, he flicked his head. without a word, you followed behind him. you had no idea where you were going. you didn’t care. when you came upon a massive tangle of gigantic tree roots, the forest was beginning to glow in the shadows.

“this way,” tsu’tey said as he crouched down.

you raised your hand up to protect your face as you followed him into the dark. a tunnel. the smell of pandoran soil was strong. lights began to twinkle the deeper into the dark tunnel you walked until blue and purple were the only colors you could see.

underground was a small burrow-like cave. the grass shined as you walked. the tree roots were speckled with colorful dots. the gems in the walls of the burrow twinkled and reflected the light. in the center, an unlit firepit. woven mats lined the floor. baskets were placed against the walls.

“what is this place?” you asked softly.

“it is where hunters come to rest if they tire greatly before reaching home tree. there are many places like this in the forest.” tsu’tey said.

you watched as he lit a fire. slowly, you sat down on one of the mats. it took skill to make a fire that fast. you wondered if you’d master something like that one day. would he teach you?

“where is jake’s avatar?” you asked. the thought came to your mind like fire catching onto dry grass. you watched the flames swirl as he added kindle.

“the tsahik’s hut.” tsu’tey said without looking at you.

you looked at him though.

you watched the way his muscles rippled as he moved. you watched the way he shifted his weight as he reached around. when he finally sat down beside you, you stared at his face. his frustratingly handsome face.

was it wrong that you found him handsome?

he was a ten-foot-tall blue alien and all you wanted to do was let your head drop into his lap and fall asleep.

“why do you look at me like that?” tsu’tey asked. his voice was low. low and curious. he turned his head and met your eyes.

you pursed your lips. “like what?”

“like…” tsu’tey hesitated. perhaps he didn’t have the words in english. he cracked an awkward smile. “like you want to…eat me.”

your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh. as heat filled your face, you looked away. “i don’t look at you like that…”

“not— not like you want to chew me and swallow.” tsu’tey was quick to say, worried he confused you. he tried to catch a glimpse of your face as he sat forward. “but like you want to…i don’t know. forget it. i can’t express it well.”

“it’s because i think you’re hot.”

when he didn’t say anything, you forced yourself to look at him. his ears were perked. he was waiting for you to explain. to say more. you found it hard to.

“hot…” tsu’tey repeated. “like i burn you?”

“kinda.” you said with a small laugh. you played with one of the braids in your hair as you stared at the fire. “it just means i…i think you’re attractive. you’re good looking. i think you’re hot.”

“is that why you try to put your mouth on mine?” tsu’tey asked.

you wanted to curl into a ball and die.

“yeah…” you said softly, nodding your head. you exhaled the air in your lungs awkwardly.

“i feel like that about you.”

you nearly broke your neck looking up at him so fast. your eyes widened and your lips parted in a soft expression of shock. you don’t know why it surprised you so much. he had literally tried to fuck you in the hot springs.

still, it was different hearing it so outright.

“you…think i’m hot?” you asked under your breath.

tsu’tey nodded once. “yes.”

“and you want to…kiss me?”

“all the time.”

you could’ve fainted.

your heart was racing and so much blood was rushing to your face that you felt light headed— but you had to keep your wits about you.

you laid back on your elbows and nodded, trying to seem as nonchalant as you could. “epic.”

“epic?” tsu’tey asked as he, too, laid back on his elbows. he looked at you. “what is epic?”

“forget it.” you said with a small shake of your head.

so embarrassing…

silence fell over the both of you. the burrow was full only with the sounds of crackling sticks. soft, even breaths. a small hum of some tune he whispered under his breath. you looked up at him but he kept his eyes on the fire.

it became warm in the safe haven below the ground. perfectly warm. it made your eyes heavy. his humming did, too. slowly, you slipped down to lay on your side. when you did, he did the same. on the mat beside you, he rested his head on his palm and watched you as he hummed.

“i don’t want to fall asleep…” you murmured, rubbing your eyes. you smiled faintly. “you’re making me sleepy.”

“what is it you want then?” tsu’tey asked in a low voice.

you shook your head.

he sighed the smallest bit. “just say it and i will do it.”

you hesitated for a moment.

tsu’tey tensed as you wiggled closer and curled up against his chest. he looked down at you. with your eyes closed, you tried to play it cool— but your heart was pounding in your chest.

the tension in you died away as he brushed his fingers down your arm. you relaxed as he laid down with you. his arm slid underneath your head. a perfect pillow. his legs tangled with yours. his lips rested against the top of your head.

he placed the faintest kiss on your hairline.

you were no longer tired.

all you could hear was the pound of your heart. it was like thunder. you breathed as deeply and as evenly as you could to keep yourself from squirming. you hoped he couldn’t feel the way your heart raced.

he could.

“mawey,” tsu’tey murmured, reaching between you to place his hand on your chest.

it only made you less calm.

slowly, you lifted your head to be eye-to-eye with him. with his hand still on your chest, he could feel the beat your heart had skipped. his pupils widened as you stared into his eyes. his tail was swaying, audibly swishing against the mat.

“what?” you asked softly.

“you smell good,” tsu’tey whispered, a small smile curling on his lip.

you bit the inside of your cheek. you knew what he was getting at. pheromones. you inhaled through your nose. the smell of the fire was all that you could really pick out. that and a sweet, faint aroma you figured was the grass.

you shook your head. “i only smell the fire.”

tsu’tey let out a low sigh but smiled anyways. “you are frustrating…do you know that?”

“i don’t mean to be.” you said softly.

“i know,” he dragged his fingers up your arm and pressed his palm against your face. “which is even more frustrating...”

tsu’tey kissed you.

and it took everything in you not to moan.

worse, it was harder not to devour him completely.

he kissed you slowly and softly, as if he were testing out the waters. maybe he expected you to feel different on his lips than real na’vi women did. or perhaps kissing was entirely different on pandora than it was on earth.

you let him lead.

you liked it best when he told you what to do.

your fingers laced through his braids as you kissed him back. his lips were like velvet. his mouth was hot. you wanted to taste him but you didn’t know if you could. you were too afraid to ruin this by doing something too human.

but you couldn’t help it.

you parted your lips in the hopes that he would give you more.

his tongue was wet and coarse as it dipped into your mouth. you sighed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his neck. guiding you to the ground, he leaned the top half of himself over you as your tongues slow danced together.

he tasted so fucking good.

he smelled so fucking good.

his pheromones hit you like an anvil to the head like in those old cartoons. salvia filled your mouth and a tingle began to vibrate in your belly. between your legs, your pussy began to weep. your tail curled itself tight around your leg. you felt breathless. you felt hot all over.

you felt so bad for not realizing what you did to him without even knowing it.

tsu’tey pulled his lips away from yours but he did not remove them from you. he glided them along your jaw. he nipped at your throat as you tilted your head back. you were squirming below him, panting and huffing as he kissed the sweetest spots you had. soon enough, you were grinding against each other.

a sharp yelp escaped you as he bit into the crook of your neck. fangs threatened to puncture through your skin— but they didn’t. he didn’t. he just wanted to bite. and bite you he did. over and over again, across your throat and shoulders, tsu’tey bit you hard enough to draw gasps from your lips but not enough to bruise.

your eyes shot open as he rolled you onto your side. the fire warmed your face but that was nothing compared to the flush that burned in your cheeks as he pressed himself against your backside. he pushed his hips forward into your ass. you could feel his erection. it throbbed against you from below his loincloth

“i will not mate with you face to face,” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he dragged his lips along the pointed cartilage. “but we may do it like this and i will hold you just as close.”

“why can’t we face each other?” you asked softly, squirming back to be closer to him.

you tried to look over your shoulder and meet his eyes but he tucked his face down into the nape of your neck and bit down. you winced softly and closed your eyes, grinding back against him subconsciously.

“because if we look at each other, we grow attached.” tsu’tey said, his breath hot against your neck. it made you shiver. “na’vi can only mate for life by forming tsaheylu but there is still a deep connection that comes with staring into the eyes of someone you mount.”

“i may not be a virgin, eris, but i have never faced anyone while i coupled with them.” tsu’tey said as he reached down between you both and pushed your leg up to your belly. he was making room for himself. “that honor shall belong only to my mate.”

your heart sank at once. “to neytiri…”

“to whomever i chose.” tsu’tey said gruffly.

he didn’t have much of a choice.

you both knew that.

“this is wrong.” you said softly. you turned onto your tummy and looked at him. well, you tried your best to. it was hard to look him in the eye.

“what is?” tsu’tey asked with a small shake of his head.

“if you’re…if you’re supposed to mate with neytiri for life, what are we doing? it doesn’t feel right. it feels like you’re cheating on her.” you said through the tightness in your throat.

tsu’tey frowned and leaned into you. he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “na’vi cannot cheat. until na’vi form tsaheylu, they are not bonded to anyone or anything besides their ikran. once na’vi mate, there cannot be another.”

“we are doing nothing wrong.” tsu’tey murmured against your ear. he nipped at it softly. “but if you do not wish to, i will not make you.”

“i do wish to but it doesn’t seem right. i’m not…i don’t even know what i’m doing here. i’m not like you. not up here.” you pointed to your head. “and not here either.” you placed your hand on your chest.

tsu’tey pushed himself up onto his knees as you sat up. you were almost entirely turned away from him. slowly, he came up behind you. he ran his hands down your arms and peeked his head over your shoulder. you tried your best to ignore him.

“no matter what you are, eywa has chosen you for something.” tsu’tey whispered into your ear. he wrapped his arm around you and placed his palm against your thumping heart. “no matter what you are, this heart is strong.”

“no matter what you are, i see you.”

you turned your head and met his striking yellow gaze. your lips were ajar in soft shock. your ears pinned and perked. your tail curled itself into knots as butterflies ate at your insides.

he saw you.

he could see you.

at least, he thought he could.

he had no idea who the real you was.

you frowned at him as you studied the details of his face. “i wish that were true.”

his brows drew together and he tilted his head.

“you don’t even know me.” you said under your breath. you looked away and closed your eyes tight. “you said it yourself, my kind are a disease on this land. we don’t belong here. i…i shouldn’t be doing this with you.”

“i speak in anger. it is my curse. for that i am sorry.” tsu’tey said in a low, gentle voice. he slid his hands around your hips and down your thighs, keeping you close. “i will stop being cruel.”

“it’s not like i make it very easy for you to be nice sometimes,” you whispered as you watched his fingers trace the stripes on your thighs.

“we both need to improve.” tsu’tey said as he brushed his nose along your ear. “it is something we shall work on.”

he was being too affectionate. it was wearing your resolve thin— but was he being affection because he liked you or just to get laid?

your chest started to hurt all over again.

“we can’t,” you whispered.

tsu’tey sighed and hugged you closer. “we can.”

“no we can’t.” you turned. facing him was harder. you wished you stayed looking the other way. “there is no we. you are promised to another and in human culture, i’d be considered a homewrecker.”

“eris,” he breathed your name as if it pained him. “i don’t want neytiri. and nor does she want me.”

“i thought you said it was duty.” you said with a small shake of your head.

he scowled at you and squished your cheeks between his fingers. “you never stop talking…”

“wllwhatdyowan.” you tried to say through your squished lips. tsu’tey rolled his eyes and removed his hand from your face. rubbing your cheek, you asked again.

“what do you want?”

“what i want is for you to turn over and let me inside you, woman. i want that very much. to hold and bite and kiss you.” tsu’tey said almost impatiently.

you annoyed him so greatly.

and yet he wanted you anyways.

“will you at least let me earn it first?” you asked. your voice was hardly loud enough. your face was hot and your tail was swaying wildly behind you.

he tipped his head. “what?”

you sighed and looked down into your lap. you picked at the skin around your nails and rolled your eyes as embarrassment weighed on your chest. so stupid. this was so stupid. you were so, so stupid…

“i want that, too, but i can’t even shoot an arrow. i feel…unworthy.” you cringed as you said the word. you should’ve just shut up and let him fuck you.

“eris,” he tried to interject but you wouldn’t let him.

“once i learn how to be more like you and less like…like me…then…okay.” you looked up at him and bit your lip. you couldn’t read his expression. “we can…we can do whatever this is.” you gestured between you both to whatever tension was tangled around you.

tsu’tey only stared at you. you felt like a slide under a microscope. he took in every detail of you. every facet. every stripe and dot. every fine hair on your almost na’vi face.

he only nodded once. “it is decided then.”

— 🌌 —

strength was something you never thought you could have.

on earth, the pollution had made you feel sick. it kept you indoors. it made your mind hazy. on pandora, there was no mist in your mind. there was no laying around— not on the path the you had chosen to walk.

you wanted to be a warrior.

you would become one.

rain or shine, you were out in the forest with tsu’tey learning how to be strong. strong in your body, in your head, and in your heart. every day you would run. along the forest floor, over the towering tree roots, in the muddy riverbed. you ran and ran and ran and built up your stamina. every day you would climb. you climbed trees, rocks, and vines. you learned how to pull yourself, push yourself, and most importantly— catch yourself.

archery was the hardest for you.

the first time you shot an arrow, it ricocheted off a rock and nearly flew back at you. tsu’tey hadn’t even known that level of bad luck was possible. you hadn’t done much wrong, either. it was not your posture. it was not your technique.

it was simply poor luck.

“here…” he said under his breath, eyes still wide. he came up behind you and adjusted your elbow. the adjustment would change nothing. it was too small— but he didn’t want you to feel terrible. “try like that instead.”

“sure…” you muttered, keeping your elbow straight.

archery was far harder than riding a direhorse. while you sustained more injuries riding mitsia, at least there was pay off. there was visible progress. the art archery took you hours to get comfortable with.

and then it took you days to master.

“can you see?” tsu’tey asked as he grabbed your face. he looked into your eyes. “you can see, yes?”

“yeah, i can fuckin’ see.” you huffed as you turned your face away. you ignored him as you tried again. it was pouring. the rain was cold and the wind was harsh. “it’s the wind. the wind is fucking me up.”

“it was not windy yesterday when you did not hit anything.” tsu’tey said.

you hissed at him and he was quick to look away.

days were spent in the archery clearing. while jake was learning how to ride a direhorse with neytiri — who got stuck with training a demon of her own under orders from her father — you were stuck every day in that clearing with tsu’tey. he resorted to drawing in the dirt to pass the time as you missed target after target.

there was only so much bad luck someone could have, right? surely, you were just getting it all out now. one big awful week of it.

tsu’tey paced behind you as you drew your arm back. all day you had spent out in the glaring sun. not one time did you hit the target. instead, you hit everything around it.

seriously, you had to have been mentally deficient.

“breathe.” tsu’tey said.

you took a breath and held it. you focused. you closed one eye and honed in one the wooden board with a big yellow dot on it. you exhaled slowly. in the stillness between breaths, you shot the arrow.

patuk!

dead in the center of the yellow dot, your arrow pierced the board. the yellow and green calling card waved as the arrow rattled.

“ah!” you gasped, your eyes wide. “oh, my god!”

“yes!” tsu’tey exclaimed.

you turned to him and threw your arms up. you nearly screeched with joy as he hooked his arms around your waist and lifted you up. you hugged him tight as he yipped with excitement. he placed you back on the ground and cupped your face.

“you did it!” he said with a wide smile.

“i did it!” you giggled.

“do it again.” he encouraged, nudging your waist.

your smile dropped. “uh…”

“come on,” tsu’tey turned you around and urged you to raise the bow. “you can do it. breathe and shoot.”

you pulled an arrow out from behind your back and loaded the bow. you breathed deep and focused on the target. you let the arrow fly free and it narrowly missed.

you frowned.

“no, no. don’t get discouraged. again. come on.” tsu’tey said, giving your back a soft pat. “you can do it.”

you ignored how hot your face felt. you cleared your throat and shook out the nervous tension in your body. once more, you loaded an arrow into your bow. you kept your core tight. you kept your arm straight. you took a breath— and you let it fly.

patuk!

the arrow landed just a little ways above the first.

you turned your head to meet his eyes and you couldn’t help but smile. he smiled, too, and ran a gentle hand over your hair.

“well done, tsamsiyu.” tsu’tey said.

you dipped your head.

since that day in the hunters burrow, tsu’tey had made an effort to be kinder. in the same regard, so had you. while you still bickered and he still called you a moron every chance he got, there was less turmoil between the two of you.

replacing it was tension.

heavy, painful tension that made every moment harder than it should’ve been. no time was harder than when you would sit across from him and try you best to learn his language. you weren’t hopeless— but you weren’t fluent.

you watched as he gestured to the space around you. you scrunched your nose and clenched as if you were pushing the word forward in your mind.

“fuck, i know this.” you muttered.

“yes. you do. i’ve told you it fifty times.” tsu’tey said, continuing the gesture. he looked above. he looked below. he looked around.

“fra’u!” you gasped, pointing a finger at him. “fra’u! everything!”

tsu’tey grinned and nodded. he was quick to move onto the next word. he pursed his lips and whistled.

“fwefwi,” you said with a small laugh. “whistle.”

tsu’tey whistled again and swayed his hand from side to side. your brows drew together and your shook your head at him. he repeated the action once more, whistling and he swayed his hand.

“wind?” you asked. when he rolled his eyes at you, you corrected yourself. “hufwe.”

“mn,” he nodded. “and if you were to say that it was a light wind?”

“hufwetsyìp.” you said.

“good.” he smiled. he beckoned your forward and you scooted closer to him. he dragged his finger across your lower lid. “what are these?”

“nari.” you answered. “eyes.”

he smacked you with his tail. “this?”

you smacked him with yours. “kxetse. tail.”

he brushed his thumb across your lips. “and these?”

your mind went blank. staring at him, all you could do was blink. slowly, your lips curled into a smile as his did, too. he seemed to enjoy your sudden speechlessness.

“i— i don’t remember.” you said with a soft, bashful laugh.

he titled his head and cocked an eyebrow. “you don’t remember?”

you giggled and shook your head. “no, i don’t.”

“c’mon,” tsu’tey purred. “you know. you must know.”

your ears perked. hearing human slang come out of him was still so awe-striking. while his antics and habits rubbed off on you, yours rubbed off on him, too. you spent so much time together. little things like that were a reminder of just how much time you spent together.

“i don’t remember. seriously, i don’t. i think i have to touch your lips to remember.” you said with a small, devious little smile.

“oh…” tsu’tey’s eyes widened and his pupils dilated. he leaned forward and tried to suppress his smirk. “go on then, skxawng.”

slowly, you traced the shape of his lips. your breath caught in your throat as you remembered how it felt to kiss him. meeting his eyes, you could almost see his thoughts.

he was thinking the same thing.

“lips.” you said. you shook your head. “i don’t remember.”

“meseyri,” tsu’tey said softly. his breath was warm against your fingers. “awstengyem meseyri. two lips.”

“meseyri.” you repeated, gliding your fingers across the soft pinkish-purple skin of his lips.

tsu’tey pressed a soft kiss to the tips of your fingers.

you dropped your hand and pushed yourself forward, not being able to bare it another second. denying the pull between you the last few weeks had been torture. he grabbed your throat eagerly and tugged you into a kiss. a husky huff escaped him as you slipped your tongue into his mouth. he tugged at your waist, hoarding you closer.

your lips only got to meet for a moment before you heard the thundering of hooves.

tsu’tey pulled back and looked over the side of the towering root you were sat on. with the sun beginning to set, warriors and hunters began to return home. among them, jake and neytiri.

“come,” tsu’tey said. he had begun speak small words and phrases in na’vi to help familiarize you with the language. “it is time to eat.”

reluctantly, you got up.

“hey!” jake waved as you entered the dining circle. he was sat by himself waiting for you. unlike tsu’tey who would sit with you at dinners, neytiri had never once sat with jake.

although, tsu’tey had stopped sitting with you now that jake was around.

he gave your arm a soft squeeze before parting ways with you. sitting down in front of jake, you smiled. there was always relief in seeing him. especially since he looked pretty beat up, too, after a day of trying to ride a direhorse. it made you feel better to know that even a marine got bucked off.

“rough day?” you asked with a teasing smile.

“nah. not too bad.” jake said as he picked up a skewer of roasted meat. he took a bite and was quick to chew. “your day?”

“lots of na’vi practice. my heads all jumbled with it.” you said as you picked up a fig-like fruit and took a bite of it. it tasted so sweet that it made your tail curl in delight. no fruit had ever been that sweet and delicious on earth.

when sat together, earth was something you and jake talked about often. comparing foods, flora, animals, and customs, you and jake could talk for hours about how different pandora was. how wonderful it was. how scary it was.

“you know; in the end, i think coming in blind to all this may have been a good thing.” jake said as he chewed on the skewer like a toothpick. “i think if i had known half the stuff i know about this place, i would’ve stayed home.”

“really?” you asked, your brows raising. “i figured this was just your kinda place, marine.”

“well, it is now that i’m here. especially now that im here in this place.” jake glanced around at the clan and smiled. “but if i had been told there were actual fucking monsters and plants that could shock you and spray poison…i definitely would’ve passed on it.”

“maybe i would’ve, too, honestly. i got to study up on the language and the forest. conveniently, the RDA left out the palulukan and the nantang from my guide.” you sighed just a bit and you looked around, your eyes falling on someone sitting just close enough for you to see every detail of. “i think it more so boils down for me to missing things on earth rather than not wanting to be here.”

“what do you miss most?” jake asked.

“tv.” you sighed. the corner of your lip pulled into a smile. “not so much the movies. grace has movies if we really wanted to watch them. i’m talking about television. shitty reality shows. documentaries of what earth used to be like when it was green. cooking shows. stuff like that.”

“i think i miss the sounds of the city the most. i miss the noise. here, it’s too quite. in hell’s gate, it’s too mechanical. up in the mountains, it’s all wind and nothing else.” jake said as he leaned back on his arms. he shrugged a bit. “i miss the sound of people. humans like us. cars beeping. distant laughter. high heels on concrete. tires on a rainy street. hell, even hearing people swear at each other.”

“i haven’t thought about things like that being here.” you said. you glanced around. the chatter of the clan was filling to the ears— but not in the way the bustle and hustle of earth was. in some way, you did miss it. especially the tires on a rainy street. that had soothed you to sleep your whole life.

“that’s a good one.” you said as you met jake’s eyes. you nodded. “i definitely miss things like that.”

“sometimes, i even miss the stink.” jake laughed lowly. he shook his head and tilted it back, smiling to himself. “it’s stupid but i brace myself for the smell of smog and gas every time i go outside here. i feel stupid, of course, but i almost miss the way the air would wreak.”

you laughed, too, and felt silly for understanding exactly what he meant. it was awful. it was disgusting. but it was home.

it had been home.

this was home now.

firelight and bioluminescence. blue skin and yellow eyes. fangs. monsters in the forest. floating mountains.

you’d always miss earth — some part of you would — but this was home.

jake was still new to the forests and the clan and home tree like you had once been. to him, it was foreign. to you, it was only more and more familiar as the days passed. you were beginning to make friends with the other hunters who had yet to pass iknimaya. saeyla was the kindest to you. she always said hi when she saw you. mo’at was always happy to see you. eytukan dipped his head and was polite enough.

and then there was tsu’tey.

sometimes, it felt like he was the only thing that made the world go round.

“did you eat enough?” tsu’tey asked as he walked you to your hammock.

“oh, yeah. i’m stuffed.” you said with a smile, patting your belly. you turned to say goodnight but the expression on his face stopped you. “what?”

“i overheard you and jake’suli,” tsu’tey said with a bit of reluctance. he wouldn’t meet your gaze. “you miss earth?”

your brows drew together and you felt hot with guilt.

oh, jesus…did he think you wanted to leave?

you could’ve up-chucked your whole dinner.

“sometimes i do but…but i don’t want to go back.” you said as quickly as you could but the words nearly alluded you.

“but you miss the sounds of your people.” tsu’tey looked into your eyes and his ears dropped. “and that is different from my people, yes? a city is not like this.”

“no…no a city isn’t like this. it’s loud. really loud. always loud.” you said with a small sigh. your shoulders dropped and you couldn’t help but look around. “it’s always glowing. not like the forest glows but bright lights. so many lights. in order to sleep, i would have to close my blinds and sometimes even cover my face with my hoodie.”

“i prefer this.” you said as you placed your hand on his chest. he met your eyes and seemed to soften under your gaze. “this is peace. earth so rarely knew peace. even though you hunt and craft by hand here, it was so much harder to survive on earth.”

“you are happy, yes?” tsu’tey asked.

the question surprised you.

is that what he was worried about? your happiness?

“yes,” you whispered. your ears dropped but your tail swayed back and forth. the question touched you. deeply and wholly. “yes, of course. of course, i’m happy. truly.”

“that is good. i was afraid that…that i made you feel like you did not belong.” tsu’tey said with shame lacing his voice.

you were speechless. all you could do was shake your head. he didn’t make you feel that way…

“you are different and that is true…but you do belong here.” tsu’tey placed his hand on your chest. “strong heart. and it belongs right here.”

you laid awake that night in your bunk.

staring at the stars through the glass in the ceiling, your chest felt warm and fuzzy. in the dark, you smiled to yourself. his words had touched you. sometimes, it was hard to understand where you stood with tsu’tey. one day he couldn’t stand you, the next he was all over you and drowning you in affection. he was strict and then he was easy going. he was mean and then he was kind.

sometimes, it gave you whiplash.

other times, it made you want to smack him and then kiss him before he could feel the pain.

tomorrow you may very well fall asleep wanting to smack him upside the head but tonight you wanted nothing more than a single kiss from him.

— 🌌 —

“eris,” norm said, shaking you awake. “eris, get up.”

“huh?” you picked your head up and tried to open your eyes. “what’s wrong?”

“eris, he’s outside.”

your heart dropped.

miles quaritch was outside.

you scrambled out of your bunk and hurried to throw on a decent pair of clothes. you slipped into jeans and pulled on an RDA issued shirt. you fixed your hair as best you could and stepped into your boots. as you hurried through the small tactical base, you nearly tripped over your own feet.

fuck.

were your video logs about archery training insufficient? of course, they were but you had no idea what you were doing. you had no idea how to gather the kind of intel that the head of security wanted.

you almost forgot to grab an oxygen mask before going into the airlock. thank god for trudy.

pushing open the heavy metal door, the morning breeze was cold so high up in the atmosphere. your breath was ragged and nearly fogged your mask. the helicopter outside was…trudy’s.

and grace was not standing with the colonel.

she was standing with him.

tsu’tey was unbelievably gigantic.

your heart could’ve stopped. your knees nearly gave out as his ikran screeched at you. he raised a gentle hand and stroked the creatures long face. yellow eyes flicked towards you— and his pupils blew wide.

“i’ll leave you two to talk.” grace said as she passed by you.

‘no!’ you wanted to beg, ‘don’t leave me alone with him!’

the door sealed shut and so had your fate.

slowly, you turned and his shadow swallowed you whole. with a yip, he sent his ikran away. the blue, white, and yellow patterned creature dove off the cliff and soared through the skies. tsu’tey tilted his head at you, his tail flicking behind him as you approached.

“what— what the hell are you doing here?” you asked, your voice tight in your throat. “how…how the hell did you…how did you find us?”

“there is only one rock amongst the many that float with these on it.” tsu’tey said, flicking his head towards the field lab behind you.

“you are small.” tsu’tey said as he crouched down. he smirked as you recoiled. “are you scared of me?”

“no,” you lied. you steeled your spine, trying to seem taller than you actually were. “you’re just…big.”

big was an understatement. he was over ten feet tall and you were lucky to be the height you were.

tsu’tey’s tail swayed through the grass. if it hit you, it probably would’ve bruised you. it may have been able to break a rib. he seemed mindful of that fact as you stared at it.

“what are you doing here?” you asked as you looked back up into his eyes. even when he was crouched you had to tilt your head back.

“i have come to learn about you.” tsu’tey said. he crawled forward to be closer and sat down in front of you. finally, you were somewhat level. “you spend all day and all night with me…it is only fair i come to you.”

“i…” you didn’t even know what to say. your head was spinning. it was hard to breathe even with oxygen being pumped right into your face. “there isn’t much to do here…you won’t fit inside the field lab easily. you wouldn’t be able to breathe well, either. it’s all oxygen in there. besides, it’s crowded.”

“can we not sit here?” tsu’tey asked with a small tilt of his head.

“we can…but it’s just— it’s cold.” you whispered, drawing your arms in close around you. you should’ve grabbed a sweater or a hoodie.

“come,” tsu’tey motioned for you to sit in his lap. “you will be warm here.”

“oh— oh, my god, no.” you said. you looked away as red filled your cheeks. “the whole crew is no doubt watching us through the window. i can’t just sit…there.”

tsu’tey looked passed you. sure enough, they were all watching. they were quick to scramble but they couldn’t go far. there was little privacy. jake would link soon. so would norm and grace— if grace decided not to study her samples and log her findings. and trudy would just…do whatever trudy did to pass the time.

“can i take you somewhere?” tsu’tey asked with an edge of caution to his voice.

“nope.” you refused. shaking your head and wiggling a finger at him, you said, “absolutely not. my fragile human ass stays put.”

tsu’tey huffed under his breath and pursed his lips. “always so difficult.”

“if you really wanted…we could use the west wing. it’s for bunking and it’s not going to be full at this hour now that everyone is up. i can see if grace can find a way for you to breathe.” you said with a small shrug.

tsu’tey seemed apprehensive to be stuck inside a small metal box but he flicked his head.

you were quick to hurry inside. within a few minutes, grace had made a reversed oxygen mask for tsu’tey. it was janky and if it didn’t work well he’d have to go back outside, but she had filled a larger oxygen canister with pandoran air and found a spare mouth-and-nose mask she connected to it.

tsu’tey clearly regretted his choices as he crawled through the front door. you were quick to guid him straight to the west wing. the ceiling was a bit taller there because of the bunks, so he didn’t have to keep his head hunched over so much.

“hey, watch the tail.” trudy said.

tsu’tey tucked his tail. he was quick to slide himself into the bunk room. you closed the door behind him and rested your forehead against it. you sighed. your heart was racing. slowly, you turned. when you did, you found him staring at the wall decorated with pictures of your life on earth. posters of your favorite animals. cities. pictures of you and your parents. pictures of your sister.

“i’m the one on the left,” you said as you pulled you mask off. carefully, you brushed your hair out of your face.

“i know.” tsu’tey said, gently touching the photo. he looked at you and his pupils dilated. “i know you, eris.”

you let out a soft breath. he reached down and lifted the mask to his face, inhaling slowly. unlike you, he could breathe oxygen for a while. not forever but longer than you could breathe his air.

“i did not think you would look so much like you.” tsu’tey said as you approached. while he sat on the floor, you sat on the bed. jake’s bunk.

you shrugged and shook your head. “ta-da?”

tsu’tey grinned at you even though he did not quite understand what it was that you meant. “ta-da, yes.”

“so…” you smacked your hands on your thighs and exhaled softly. “what do you wanna do?”

“i want to know what tivee is.” tsu’tey said. he looked around the room and tried to pin point what may have been tv. “i heard you tell jake’suli you missed it and i want to see why.”

you shook your head. “i don’t think i should.”

“why not?” tsu’tey asked, his invisible brows drawing together.

“because you may like it too much and start an industrial revolution like the RDA is trying to do.” you said with a soft laugh.

“i do not know what you just said but i want to see tv.” tsu’tey insisted.

you sighed. there was little point in saying no. getting up off of the bed, you walked around him. he turned, being mindful not to knock into anything. he watched as you crouched down to plug in the chord. you pressed the button on the bottom and the screen filled with static.

“it may not even work.” you said over your shoulder.

you flicked through the tapes grace had in box and pulled out the most fitting one. star wars: return of the sith. tsu’tey scooted closer as the movie began. you took a seat beside him and used the remote to turn up the volume. as the opening credits rolled, the music made his ears perk.

“what does it say?” tsu’tey asked, watching the yellow letters roll across the screen. he brought the mask to his mouth and took a deep breath.

you read the preface of the movie to him and did your best to explain what it all meant. you knew it was lost to him but he was fixated anyways— especially when humans appeared on the screen. he was transfixed.

“did you have that?” tsu’tey asked, pointing to the flying car on the screen.

you laughed and shook your head. “at the time this movie came out, flying cars didn’t exist. in my time, i didn’t have enough money.”

he looked down at you.

none of it made sense.

“no,” you said with a small smile. “i didn’t have a flying car.”

he nodded and turned his attention back to the screen. you sat in silence as you watched the movie. every now and again he lifted the mask to his mouth to take a breath. he would ask a question here and there. it amazed him— but he did not understand much of what was said. soon enough, he wasn’t quite seeing the point of a movie.

“why do you watch stuff like this?” he asked.

“for fun.” you said with a small shrug. “humans really value entertainment. star wars is one of the biggest movie series ever. very well loved.”

“do you like this movie?” he asked with a curious tilt of his head.

you gave him your honest answer.

once more, it fell silent between you. you watched the movie with a sense of nostalgia weighing heavy on your heart. this was the first time you’d actually sat and watched anything since you’d arrived on pandora. it was comforting yet so foreign at the same time.

“can i touch your hair?”

you looked up at him, your eyes wide and your cheeks red. you had not expected that question. all you could do was blink.

“sure…” you whispered.

so carefully you weren’t sure if he even touched you, tsu’tey ran his hand over the top of your head. his ears perked and his tail swished against the metal floor.

“soft…” he murmured, purely infatuated. “different than mine. so…thin. like very fine twine strings.”

“well, you are like twelve feet tall.” you said with a small laugh. he could’ve easily crushed you in the palm of his hand if he wanted to. “everything about you is bigger than me.”

“your chest is big.” tsu’tey said, looking down at your breasts.

you couldn’t help but laugh. nodding, you said, “yeah. i told you, human women have bigger chests than na’vi women.”

“can i touch?” he asked, extending a hand towards you.

you were quick to cover your breasts and gawked at him. “no! are you crazy?”

“why not?” tsu’tey asked. he moved closer to you and tilted his head. now more so than ever, he was entirely cat-like. it took looking at him through human eyes to see it. “is it because you are in this body and not your na’vi one?”

“yeah,” you breathed, looking away from him.

he pursed his lips the smallest bit. “can i kiss you?”

“jesus christ, are you in heat or something?” you asked.

“no, not now.” he said. he shrugged and flicked his head towards you. “i am just…curious. i want to kiss you as you and see if it is the same.”

“just a kiss?” you glanced at him.

“just one.” he nodded, sitting on his hands as if to promise you he wouldn’t do anything more than that.

slowly, you pushed yourself up. standing in front of him, you were level enough. your heart raced in your chest as he stared at you. he took in every movement you made. he tensed as you neared and that made you even more nervous.

“this is weird…” you said, pulling back the smallest bit.

“no,” he insisted. he reached out a hand that ghosted along the small curve of your back. “it’s not.”

you swallowed your embarrassment alongside your pride as you leaned forward and pressed a soft, lingering kiss onto his lips.

sparks shot through you from your head to your toes.

when you pulled back, his pupils were so large you could hardly see the yellow of his eyes. his tail smacked into the metal frame of the bunk bed and thumped wildly against the floor. as your cheeks reddened and reddened and reddened his ears perked up and up and up.

“why are you red?” he asked softly.

“i’m flustered…” you whispered.

tsu’tey smiled. “it was good.”

“it was good,” you said with a small, quick nod.

“again?” he asked, leaning forward. “to make sure.”

you couldn’t help but laugh.

he smiled as you reached up and placed your hands on his face. he dipped his head down and kissed you again, softly and sweetly. kisses like these were much different from how he kissed you when you were the same size and same blue shade.

“good,” he purred. his lips curled into a smile as he reached down to pull the mask to his face. he took a few deep breaths. “very good.”

you could only watch him in awe. you sat down in front of him and tried to wipe the blush from your cheeks. of course, it didn’t work. not even a little bit. he hunched over to be more level with you and it made you giggle.

he was just too big.

too large.

too handsome.

he was even more striking to the human eye.

you sat quietly as he picked up your hand and examined your five little fingers. he was intrigued by your pinky. to him, it was an extra pinky. with his four thick fingers, your hand seemed so frail and dainty. he touched the lines of your palm and smiled to himself as you shivered at the sensation.

“it is strange,“ tsu’tey said lowly. “how you are so different and still so the same…i thought it would be hard to recognize you. hard to see you with this face and not that face…but it is not hard.”

you curled your whole hand around his index finger and pulled it close. you placed his hand on your chest. your heart beat below his palm. he met your eyes and his ears perked. it made you smile.

“i see you.” you whispered.

tsu’tey leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. he smiled to himself, enjoying the way your little heart beat so strong under the tips of his fingers as he neared.

“i see you,” he said like a promise.

this chapter was so much fun to write :P i love soft tsu’tey!!!! hope you guys enjoyed. lmk your thoughts <3 as always, thanks for reading!! — moony

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