#shut UPPPPPPPPPPPPP I HATE HIM

[transmanleonardo]

The people who write Leo character analyses have ruined my fucking life

[pottedfairies]

commenting on everyone's workshop critiques of my story like "im going to be constructive here. you should kill yourself"

[chuuyaandreaderkilldazai]

Ranking JJK Characters I Don't Like

Ranging from mild dislike (14) to LOATHE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING (1).

14. Mai: I don't hate her. I sympathize with her. I just wish she wasn't the way she is.

13. Junpei: I do have compassion for him, but ... school shooter vibes. Not a fan.

12. Noritoshi: Bad vibes.

11. Toji: Bad dad. And he's so nosy, too. Why does he always insert himself into situations with his fists swinging? Actually, now that I think about it, that's kind of iconic behavior. But all it ever really did was create more problems. If he had never inserted himself into the plot, Geto would have probably never turned mass-murderer-cult-leader--WE COULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING. So it's a pass for me. Also, his haircut is off-putting for reasons I cannot articulate. It's like one day in middle school he got a haircut and just never changed up the style ever again.

10. Jogo: Ugly.

9. Uraume: Character design: slay. Helping Sukuna: not slay.

8. Like every adult from the Zenin clan: BECAUSE THEY SUCK.

7. Tengen: Old and entitled.

6. Kenjaku: Old and entitled part two. What gives him the right?

5. Sukuna: Horrid, nasty man. I feel like I shouldn't have to elaborate.

4. Ui Ui: Annoying. Literally, why are you even here?

3. Mei Mei: First of all, how am I supposed to take you seriously with that stupid braid hanging in front of your face? From the very instant her character was introduced, I did not like her, but I thought maybe I was being a woman hater for no reason, so I really did try to tolerate her. But when we finally saw that scene in season two. PRISON!!! I was right. She's the worst. We are not gonna ignore that. Check her files.

2. That thing with the blond side ponytail: I hate him so much I don't even know his name. I don't care to know it. I would say why do you as a man look like that, but honestly why do you as a HUMAN BEING look like that? Why do you act like that? Why are you skipping around wearing a poorly made DIY toga? Whole nip is hanging out, and no one asked to see that. Why are you HOLDING HANDS with your blade? Freak. There is something so intrinsically, inherently, ONTOLOGICALLY wrong with him, you can't even blame it on childhood trauma or a personality disorder. The only time I ever supported Sukuna was when he bullied this emaciated Jo Jo Siwa lookin' thing in Shibuya.

Mahito: I hate him so much. I hate him more than I've ever hated any character. I actually lose the ability to speak coherently when I think about him because I hate him so much. I think it's so cringe when try-hard dudes say, "When I'm angry all I see is red." But when I think about Mahito it really is like blood and pure rage cloud my vision. He is literally the embodiment of if you gave an edge lord psychopathic eleven year old the power to kill people. "Wee, I'm so powerful and killing people is just SoooOoOoOoOOOo much fun!!" SHUT UP!!!!!!!! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT CUTE. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. He is genuinely the most irritating character I have ever come across. And as the story progresses, he just gets worse. What do you mean he can duplicate himself? Now we have to deal with TWO of this wretched creature? What do you mean he can be decapitated AND HIS HEAD WILL SPROUT LIMBS AND SPRINT AWAY? STOOOOOOOOOP. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED TO NANAMI--I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. Mahito is such a nasty, slithy, bothersome, despicable, nauseating little cockroach. "Yuji, you and I are the same." Huh? You thought you did something there, didn't you? You thought you ate and came up with some kind of deep, revolutionary concept? It's giving pretentious philosophy dude who thinks he's superior for being a little contrarian, nihilistic Nietzsche butt licker. When Yuji finally humbled him, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the fear in his eyes. For one brief, fleeting moment, I could finally understand what sadists must feel like. Honestly, we deserved to watch him suffer, and I wish he would have suffered far more for far longer. Rot in anguish, Mahito. You will not be missed nor forgiven.

[norcalbruja]

Part one of Spooky Season Ending: Turkey sighting and another small winning ticket

Content warning: Lots and lots of depression/anger, plus one freaky spiritual injury. Like, really bad.

On the plus side, this week is looking much better.

--

So a couple weeks ago on Saturday (Oct 26) was bad--I screwed up 2 parties' orders for the price of one, by accidentally taking the wrong order of sliders to a different section. See, the parties were right next to each other and they both started out with trays of sliders, BUT one of them did not need a fresh tray of sliders.

I know mistakes happen, but I really hate it when I make them. Not just because of my depression/anxiety--work is still slow right now, so this is essentially a weekend job for me at the moment, and I'm always nervous about getting fired for mistakes I make for my two days a week. Even if that's a VERY long shot--we've kept at least two dead-weight workers who barely did anything for the whole year I was there, and one of them constantly hid in the bathrooms to avoid doing work. They were only fired a few months ago, so I have strong suspicions that they'd only think about firing me, an average worker who does SOME of her job, if they're REALLY desperate.

Naturally, the meditation I had that night was ALSO bad. This is where the content warning about spiritual injury comes in.

--

So I was just venting/feeling miserable with the Water-Spirit, and then Hera came along and started up a talk about, "Oh, honey, you always feel awful. I will reward you with someone who can help you out like he does."

And as I've been constantly having knee-jerk reactions with the spirits about this, I just snapped at her, "NO. SHUT UP, HERA. STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT REWARDS, OR LIFE GETTING BETTER, BECAUSE IT WON'T. Everyone keeps saying they'll help me out, but Loki is right about all of you! YOU NEVER HELP ME WITH ANYTHING IN THE REAL WORLD! IF YOU WANT TO REWARD ME, GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT I CAN TOUCH AND QUANTIFY! AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT, JUST STAY QUIET AND DO IT! I'M TIRED OF GETTING MY HOPES UP FOR SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENS! MY HEART HURTS! SHUT UP! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

Annnnnnnd that's when I just started freaking out and flailing at her (again). To which the Water-Spirit obviously picked me up and tried to keep me away.

Then Spirit-Me started coughing up blood again, but it wasn't from spiritual "ulcers" this time--that was Spirit-Me's heart giving out and bursting/ripping open.

This happened once, after Loki gave me a (very poorly-thought) suggestion a while before. He told me I was always too high-strung to deal with him properly, and maybe if I got some weed, I could talk to him while I was nice and mellow.

At a friend's party, I got high by eating a weed-cookie. Unfortunately, nobody told me that you shouldn't eat the WHOLE cookie, more like half or a quarter, especially if you're small--like me.

So I easily had a double-dose of weed. At one point I was talking to Loki, and he was unexpectedly happy that I actually called him up while I was high. We had a fairly long talk until I suddenly realized that I'm in my friend's living room, I'm fucking high as a kite, and I bet people heard me CALLING THE GODDAMN WALL 'LOKI.'

Aside from that, it was pretty bearable, but several hours later, disaster hit when my mom and sister came to pick me up, and I was still high as a kite.

That's when my mom and sister started yelling at each other, and I barely remember anything past that point, aside from talking to Loki more and possibly meeting Jormungandr, but I'm somewhat sure the heart-bursting was AFTER I sobered up. Alternately, it was so painful it got me down from my high, at least for a little bit.

I just remember a deep, deep sense of spiritual pain about the world, finding out that Spirit-Me was bleeding everywhere, and Odin had to stitch my heart back up.

Yeah, that ended so badly that Loki eventually told me how this doesn't count. I can go try weed for a redo, whenever I get my own place.

And back to the CURRENT heart-giving-out event: So not only are Hera and the Water-Spirit freaking out because Spirit-Me is (yet again) in frothing, animalistic pain/despair, I am also BLEEDING, and I probably won't hold still for any "first aid."

In fact, when Brighid showed up to help stitch my heart back up, I snapped at her, "GO AWAYYYYYY! I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO HELP!!! IT'S JUST GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN LATER!!!" and I just fucked off to a cave in the spirit-wilderness. I go there whenever I need some REALLY "soundproof isolation, miles under the earth" quiet time, which is often about half the week because, you know... I'm a night-owl who's desperately trying to sleep at a normal time.

So Loki showed up and just laughed at everyone. He was like "THAT IS THE SWEET, SWEET TASTE OF DESPAIR, MOTHERFUCKERS. You guys hate that she's always in pain, but you still can't get off your asses and MAKE HER FEEL LESS PAIN. She's sick of your 'thoughts and prayers' where you try to get her to do positive thinking. She doesn't want you frantically trying to give her all the stuff she's been asking about for years--because it's not a reward for what she accomplished, it's just damage control at this point. Fuck, she attacks people for even mentioning that, or daring to say that HER LIFE WILL GET BETTER, because all that does is make her hurt.

"She won't even let you heal her! She's like a fucking wild animal in a trap, snapping at people who get too close. What if she just stops talking to you, huh? She's not getting anything from most of you, after all. And even if she stays--because she has a lotttt of fucking attachment issues--do you guys realize that eventually, she won't be able to come back here, even if she wants to? SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING to keep her. And like she keeps begging you, that means REAL help, with REAL things, that change her REAL life. 'Thoughts and prayers' are not enough to keep her in touch with the spirits. Even her whipped Kraken-boy, who does more than you guys with his Regular Husband shit, is gonna have a hard time getting her over eventually."

And I have heard him and several spirits talk about my despair or rage. I don't know how the other spirits see this, but they're always uncomfortable when someone mentions my Deep Rage/Despair, and how it's affecting my spiritual "presence."

Eric Draven can basically smell the anger/hurt on me, and that risks attracting Non-Friendly Spirits.

Odin mentioned once that my spiritual "sight" was failing.

I just don't seem to be in good spiritual "health" at all, for obvious reasons.

So I was just lying in the cave and trying to sleep despite my heart pains. The Water-Spirit found me because, well... it's a cave that I go to a lot, and most of the spirits know "where" it is.

Odin also came around, and he just told the Water-Spirit to hold me down so he could stitch my heart up.

And I'm like "OH MY GODDDDDD, ODIN. IT'S NOT A REAL WOUND. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

He shook his head and went, "Because you need it. Why else?"

--

And Oct 27 started badly as well. My mom asked me to wake up a bit earlier, so we could clean up the kitchen and living room before her friend visited. Mom told her she had some pasalubong (gifts from the Philippines, often food).

Seems straightforward, but Mom also took that chance to tell me everything she hates about my life, my hobbies, how I'm addicted to the Evil Computer, and how I'm generally a failure.

See, I'm bad at doing chores, I'm a night owl, and I don't like office work. That means I'm 1) lazy, 2) doing it specifically to spite Mom, and 3) angering God with how lazy and disrespectful I am, so that's why I'm not getting anywhere in my life.

I finally got fed up and asked her, "If you hate everything about me so much, why did you even have a kid? Why didn't you just get a maid?"

She mistook it for me saying, "Why don't you hire a maid so I can just stay in my room, without listening to your nagging?" but I told her that if she had a kid mostly to take care of her, but she doesn't like anything about them, or the country she raised them in, then she shouldn't have had a kid and wasted all this time just to get a failure like me.

I don't know if she genuinely didn't get that treating your kids like servants has a strong chance of being called out nowadays, or if she does but won't admit it, but she got annoyed and kept telling me to shut up and listen to her lecturing.

After all, she's only doing this because she knows what's best for me. (/end sarcasm)

Now, I hate the rampant individualism in the United States, and how our "independent spirit" is glorified/worshiped, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I like the Philippines' toxic version of "community values" either. A lot of Filipino parents still hold to a view of "my kids (especially daughters) are my retirement plan, and they have to take care of me when I'm old." Then they get mad when the kid DOESN'T end up being a cleaning robot, or a perfect clone of themselves.

Luckily, Mom got distracted because she told her friend she could visit at 10AM, but we waited for an hour and a half before I had to go to work, and Mom figured that she just couldn't come.

On the way to work, I was yet again asking the ocean (and spirits in general) to PLEASE get me out of this dead-end life and get me money and/or an art career, so I can quit my job on my own terms and finally get out of my mom's place.

I also asked Loki, "Fucking hell, I don't want to work today. You think I can get off early?"

And Loki went "SURE, CYBORG, THIS PLACE FUCKING BLOWS."

I got off at 3PM because it was slow today--there was a baseball game yesterday and people were watching at the bar, so everyone's probably hung over from that.

Also I finally found out why sometimes, the bowling alley starts smelling like the ocean. It's because 1) we're literally right by the beach, so 2) our air conditioning takes the sea-odor and just sucks it right inside. It can get REALLY strong, so sometimes my coworkers want to barf, and I'm really glad I have a mask.

So I stopped by a shop to grab my weekly two lottery tickets, and then I went home.

HOWEVER, it turns out Mom's friend came over at about 2PM for lunch.

Mom's friend is also in her seventies, but she's really starting to lose her memory/reasoning skills. When Mom said "You can visit at 10am!", her friend thought this meant, "Norcal's Mom will be getting ready at 10AM, but we can come later!" And... she apparently gave Mom FOUR HOURS to "get ready for visitors." Without even calling or texting to say "Hi, Norcal's Mom, I'll be there at [This Time]!"

No, it doesn't make sense to either of us. Also, this is WAY outside the bounds of the often joked "Filipino Time." One or two hours is fine for larger meetups/parties because those can go on for a while, but half a workday for a basic lunch meetup? REALLY excessive.

Anyway, so Mom asked me to grab her some takeout for dinner. As with many Filipino parents, I think she's just pretending the morning lecture didn't happen, or she figures it's been long enough that I don't care anymore.

I have not forgotten, obviously, but Mom's lectures just really drain me now instead of making me angry/upset. I get angry IN THE MOMENT, but I can't really stay angry anymore because that just wastes my time/energy.

On the way to the restaurant, the cars on the road were stopped by a whole flock of turkeys crossing the street. Turkeys scare me a bit even if I like them, because they're just SO FUCKING BIG. They look like vultures or velociraptors, if you're not expecting them.

Anyway, so I wondered if this was a sign and Loki immediately went "YOU'RE WELCOME! NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE, CYBORG." Now aside from the colonized "Thanksgiving/abundance/gratitude" meanings of turkeys, turkeys have a REALLY varied meaning in indigenous cultures.

[420technoblazeit]

#as horrifying as ever i see (via @rwbypro)

shut uppppppppppppp u juts hate him bc he's full of whimsy enjoying the beautiful spring day he's not horrifying he's lovely

JACQUES SPOTTED