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pumpkinpaix · 4 years ago

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mdzs fandom, diaspora, and cultural exchange

Hey everyone. This post contains a statement that’s been posted to my twitter, but was a collaborative effort between several diaspora fans over the last few weeks. Some of the specifics are part of a twitter-localized discourse, but the general sentiments and issues raised are applicable across the board, including here on tumblr.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen a few of my posts about this fandom, cultural exchange, and diasporic identity. For example, here, here, and here. This statement more directly criticizes some of the general issues I and others have raised in the past, and also hopefully provides a little more insight into where those issues come from. I would be happy if people took the time to read and reblog this, as the thought that went into it is not trivial, and neither is the subject matter. Thank you.

Introduction

Hello. I'm a member of a Chinese diaspora discord server - I volunteered to try and compile a thread of some thoughts regarding our place and roles in the fandom expressed in some of our recent discussions. This was primarily drafted by me and reviewed/edited by others with the hopes that we can share a cohesive statement on our honest feelings instead of repeatedly sharing multiple, fragmented versions of similar threads in isolation.

This was compiled by one group of diaspora and cannot be taken to represent diaspora as a whole, but we hope that our input can be considered with compassion and understanding of such.

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

Background

MDZS is one of the first and largest franchises of cmedia that has become popular and easily accessible outside of China. Moreover, it’s a piece of queer Chinese media that is easily accessible to those of us overseas. For many non-Chinese fans, this is the first piece of cmedia they have connected with, and it’s serving as their introduction to a culture previously opaque to them. What perhaps is less obvious is that for many Chinese diaspora fans, this is also the first piece of cmedia THEY have connected with, found community with, seen themselves in.

Many, many of us have a fraught relationship with our heritage, our language—we often suffer from a sense of alienation, both from our families and from our surrounding peers. For our families, our command of the language and culture is often considered superficial, clunky, childish. Often, connecting with our culture is framed as a mandatory academic duty, and such an approach often fosters resentment towards our own heritage. For our non-Chinese peers, our culture is seen as exotic and strange and other, something shiny and interesting to observe, while we, trapped in the middle, find ourselves uprooted and adrift.

MDZS holds an incredibly important place in many diaspora’s hearts. Speaking for myself, this is literally the first time in my life I have felt motivated and excited about my own native tongue. It's the first time I have felt genuine hope that I might one day be able to speak and read it without fear and self-doubt. It is also the first time that so many people have expressed interest in learning from me, in hearing my thoughts and opinions about my culture.

This past year and a half in fandom has been an incredible experience. I know that I am not alone in this. So many diaspora I have spoken to just in the last week have expressed similar sentiments about the place MDZS holds in their lives. It is a precious thing to us, both because we love the story itself, and because it represents a lifeline to a heritage that’s never felt fully ours to grasp.

It’s wonderful to feel like we are able to welcome our friends into our home and show them all these things that have been so formative to our identities, and to be received with such enthusiasm and interest. Introducing this to non-Chinese friends and fans has also been an opportunity to bridge gaps and be humanized in a way that has been especially important in a year where yellow peril fear mongering has been at an all-time high.

History

However, MDZS’ rise in popularity among non-Chinese audiences has also come with certain difficulties. It is natural to want to take a story you love and make it your own: that’s what transformative fandom is all about. It is also natural that misunderstandings and unintentional missteps might happen when you aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of the culture and political history of the story in question. This is understandable and forgivable—perfection is impossible, even for ourselves.

We hope for consideration and respect when we give our knowledge freely and when we raise the issue of our own discomfort with certain statements or actions regarding our culture. Please remember that what is an isolated incident to you might be a pattern of growing microaggressions to us. In non-Asian spaces, Asian diaspora are often lumped together under one umbrella. In the west, a lot of Chinese diaspora attach themselves to Korean and Japanese media in order to feel some semblance of connection to a media which approximates our cultures because there are cultural similarities. This is the first time we've collectively found community around something that is actually ours, so the specificities matter.

There is a bitterness about being Asian diaspora and a misery in having to put up a united front about racial issues. Enmity towards one group becomes a danger to all of us, all while our own conflicted histories with one another continue to pass trauma down through the generations. Many of us don’t even watch anime in front of our grandparents because of that lingering cultural antipathy. When the distinctions between our cultures are muddled, it feels once again like that very fraught history is flattened and forgotten.

Without the lived experience of it, it’s hard to understand how pervasive the contradictory web of anti-Asian and, more specifically, anti-Chinese racial aggressions are and how insidious its effects are. The conflation of China the political entity (as perceived and presented by the US and Europe) with its people, culture, and diaspora results in an exhausting litany of criticism levied like a bludgeon, often by people who don’t understand the complicated nature of a situation against those of us who do.

There is often a frankly stunning lack of self-awareness re: cultural biases and blind spots when it comes to discussions of MDZS, particularly moral ones. There are countless righteous claims and hot takes on certain aspects of the story, its author, and the characters that are so clearly rooted in a Euroamerican political and moral framework that does not reflect Chinese cultural realities and experiences. Some of these takes have become so widespread they are essentially accepted as fanon.

This is a pattern of behavior within the fandom. It is not limited to any specific group, nor does it even exclude ourselves—we are, after all, not a monolith, and we should not be placed on pedestals to have our differing opinions weaponized against one another in fandom squabbles. We are not flawless in our own understandings and approaches, and we would appreciate it if others would remember this before using any of us as ultimate authorities to settle a personal score.

It is difficult not to be disheartened when enthusiastic interest crosses the line into entitled demand and when transformative work crosses into erasure, especially when the reactions to our raised concerns have so frequently been dismissive and hostile. The overwhelming cultural and emotional labor we bring to the table is often taken advantage of and then criticized in bad faith. We are bombarded with racist aggressions, micro and macro, and then met with ridicule and annoyance when we push back. Worse, we sometimes face accusations of hostility that force us to apologize, back down, and let the matter go.

When we bring up our issues, it usually seems to come with the expectation that there are other issues that should be addressed before we can address ours. It feels like it’s never really the time to talk about Asian issues.

On the internet and in fandom spaces, Western-coded media, politics and perspectives are assumed to be general knowledge and experience that everyone knows and has. It feels like a double standard that we are expected to know the ins and outs of western politics and to engage on these terms, but most non-Chinese have not even the slightest grasp of the sort of politics that are at play within our communities. We end up feeling used for our specialized knowledge and cultural background and then dismissed when our opinions and problems are inconvenient.

As the culture represented in MDZS is not a culture that most non-Chinese fans are familiar with, we’d like to remind you that you do not get to decide which parts of it are or are not important. While sharing this space with Chinese diaspora who have a close connection to the work and the painful history that goes along with being diaspora, we ask that you be mindful of listening to our concerns.

Cultural erasure is tied to a lot of intense historical and generational trauma for us that maybe isn't immediately evident: the horrors of the Pacific theatre, the far-reaching consequences of colonization, racial tensions both among ourselves and with non-Chinese etc. These are not minor or simple things, and when we talk about our issues within fandom, this is often what underlies them. This is one of the first and only places many of us have been able to find community to discuss our unique issues without feeling as if we’re speaking out of turn.

With the HK protests, COVID, the anti-Chinese platforms of the US election etc., anti-Chinese sentiment has been at the forefront of the global news cycle for some time now, and it is with complete sincerity that we emphasize once again how important MDZS fandom has been as a haven for humanizing and valuing Chinese people through cultural exchange.

Experiencing racial aggression within that space stings, not just because it’s a space we love, but because it feels like we’ve been swimming in rapidly rising racial aggression for over a year at this point.

Feelings

This is a difficult topic to broach at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Many of us have a wariness of rocking the boat instilled in us from our upbringings, and it is not uncommon for us to feel like we should be grateful that people want to engage with something of ours at all. When we do decide to speak up, we’ve learned that there is a not insignificant chance that we’ll be turned on and trampled over because what we’ve said is inconvenient or uncomfortable. When it is already so difficult to speak up, we end up second-guessing and gaslighting ourselves into wondering whether there really was a problem at all.

We’d like to be able to share what we know about our culture and have our knowledge and experience be taken seriously and treated with courtesy. This is a beautiful, rich world built with the history of our ancestors, one that we too are trying to connect with. When we find it in ourselves to speak up about it, we would appreciate being met with consideration instead of hostility.

We don't have the luxury of stepping away from our culture when we get tired of it. We don't get to put it down and walk away when it’s difficult. But if you're not Chinese or Chinese diaspora, you get to put this book down—we'd like to kindly request that you put it down gently because of how much it matters to all of us in this fandom, regardless of heritage.

What we are asking for is reflection and thoughtfulness as we continue to engage with this work and with one another, especially with regards to how Chinese issues are positioned. When we raise issues of our own discomfort, please take a moment to reflect before reacting defensively or trying to shut us down for spoiling the fun—don’t deprioritize our concerns, especially in a fandom for a piece of Chinese media. We promise most of us are not trying to start shit for the sake of a fight. Most of the time, all we want is acknowledgement and a genuine attempt at understanding.

Our hope with this statement is to encourage more openness and understanding between diaspora and non-Chinese fans while we navigate this place that we’re sharing. Please remember that for many of us, MDZS is far more intense than a typical fandom experience. Remember that the knowledge we have and research we do is freely and happily given, and that it costs us both materially and emotionally. Please don’t take that for granted. Remember too that sometimes the reason for our discomfort may not be immediately evident to you: what seems culturally neutral and harmless might touch upon specific loaded issues for us. We ask for patience, and we ask for sincerity as we try to communicate with one another.

We are writing this because there’s a collective sense of imposed silence—that every time the newest round of discourse crops up, we often feel as if we’re walking away having created no meaningful change, and nursing new wounds that we’ll never get to address. But without speaking up about it, this is a cycle that will keep repeating.

This is not meant to shame or guilt the fandom into throwing themselves at our feet, either to thank us or beg for forgiveness—far from that. We’re just your friends and your fellow fans. We are happy to have you here, and we’re happy to create and share and play together. We just ask to be respected and heard.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Several of us will be stepping back from twitter for a while. We’ll see you when we get back. ❤️

* A final addendum: here are two articles with solid practical advice on writing stories regarding a culture other than your own.

Cultural Appropriation for the Worried Writer: Some Practical Advice

Cultural Appropriation: Some More Practical Advice

The thread on twitter is linked in the source of this post. Thanks everyone.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #the untamed #the untamed meta #cql #asian diaspora #chinese diaspora #race #racism #mine #mymeta #once again my tag failing me because this is a collaborative work #but! for the sake of organization #statistically average #cultural appropriation #cultural erasure #what else do i tag this im so wired

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be-gay-do-heists · 3 years ago

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hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption

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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul

When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.

The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.

I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.

Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:

“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”

I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.

So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?

I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam.

Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.

With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:

It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)

Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.

Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!

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(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.

(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.

(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).

(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/.

(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.

(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16

(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”

#leverage #miko speaks #jewish stuff #jumblr #leverage redemption #spoilers #lr spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #written for a non leverage audience because i want my rabbi to read it alskdjflaksdjf #elul

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scripttorture · 4 years ago

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What would you expect from the public, including minors, when torturing someone in public is done, especially when it's a public spectacle and people actually come to watch. Is liking to watch torture a thing in this case? My story is a medieval/steampunk fantasy by the way.

Well Anon, this does still happen today. It happens in the country I grew up in and consider my home. So… my first suggestion is to throw out the implication that this is a weird historical thing the world doesn’t have to deal with any more. Because it is still very real. And if you get any kind of success with your story there’s a good chance some of your readers will have experience with this.

It’s also significantly more complicated then ‘liking’ or ‘disliking’ so let’s unpack this a bit.

I’ve never actually seen anyone maimed or executed. But as a kid of around 9-10 I knew kids my age who had. We used it as a sort of… pissing contest basically. Kids would brag about it to show how hard they were, in the same way we’d stuff chilis into our mouths and see who could last longest.

It’s one of those bizarre kinds of ritualised self-harm that you end up performing in order to cope with awful things.

Because witnessing this kind of stuff is harmful, to adults and children. It can leave people traumatised and displaying some of the symptoms I write about here.

But, however old the characters, if they grew up somewhere where this is the norm then I absolutely guarantee they understand showing opposition is dangerous. They know their responses to these displays of brutality and power are used as a proxy for their loyalty and worthiness by the state.

And boy if you are in any way outside the norm, if you are queer or the ‘wrong’ ethnic group or faith, then the pressure to conform here is so much more intense.

I lived in Saudi, my home town is Dhahran. My parents are from opposite ends of Europe and they tried to raise me Christian. I still spent a lot of my teenage years unpacking stuff I’d absorbed about public executions, amputations, whippings etc.

From the kids I knew growing up (anecdotal evidence no matter how empassioned) I’d say the ‘normal’ responses to witnessing this kind of state violence are varied. Kids would get nightmares, start showing signs of mild anxiety disorders or depression. They’d become moody, angry and generally unhappy. Which they’d sometimes take out on other people.

But I can’t remember anyone ever explicitly linking it to what they witnessed. They’d try to hide this stuff. Some of them would double down on justifications for state violence (seemed pretty common.) They would, above all, deny there was a problem.

Because admitting to mental illness made you ‘weak’ and admitting to doubts about state violence made you a ‘traitor’. Which is a pretty risky thing to label yourself (even by implication) when you live in a state that publicly mutilates and murders people. (Note the author’s bias as a committed pacifist may be showing.)

As you may have noticed Anon, I still carry a significant amount of anger on this particular subject. This bottled vitriole is not directed at you or your story idea but at the states and politicians who make sure this brutality continues. It’s about the fact that I can remember a nine year old girl matter of factly talking about beheading at a birthday party.

Stepping back from the personal side of things for a moment we know from studies of PTSD and trauma survivors generally that witnessing violence can lead to lasting psychological symptoms. Including PTSD.

PTSD specifically is more likely when an individual is directly effected (ie physically hurt). But repeated exposure to traumatic events, including witnessing violence, makes the manifestation of long term symptoms more likely.

So a character that has seen dozens of these attacks is more likely to develop a long term mental health problem then a character who has seen only one. Regardless of age.

We can’t predict which individual symptoms an individual witness will develop or indeed when a witness might develop them. We just don’t know enough about how these things happen yet.

Having said that, the possible symptoms for witnesses are pretty much identical to the possible symptoms for torture survivors (link above.) I’d advise against using chronic pain for witnesses unless you have a clear idea of an underlying cause; it seems (anecdotally) to be more common in people who directly experienced violence.

If you decide to use insomnia there’s a masterpost on sleep deprivation here.

For mental health problems like depression, anxiety etc remember there are physical symptoms as well as symptoms related to mood. Characters who are trying to deny they have a mental health problem might focus overly on physical symptoms. Depression can cause nausea, vomiting and tiredness/lack of energy which might be mistaken for disease. Anxiety can cause chest pain and shakes.

Circling back let’s talk about some of the phrasing in this question for a moment. Because ‘choose to watch’ misunderstands the way states use these public displays of violence.

Attendance and witnessing of public executions and torture is often enforced. Sometimes overtly and sometimes more tacitly. Because the point of these displays is to hammer home the power of the state. That doesn’t work if people can easily choose not to go.

Here’s an example of what that overt and tacit enforcement looked like back home.

Tacit enforcement came from the timing and placement of executions and amputations. They took place on weekends, when almost everyone was off work. They were carried out in major towns and cities, where the population density was higher. The venue was typically on a main thoroughfare close to important sites. Which ensured a high volume of people would be in the area when the execution took place, whether there was due to be an execution or not.

So picture the town or city this is taking place in, in your story. When are the public holidays? Where are the markets? Where are the most popular religious venues? At what time will the most people be in these areas?

All of that will tell you where an execution or public torture is likely to take place. Because if you set this shit up in eye sight of the place most people buy food, at the time when the most people are out, you get witnesses.

Whether they want to be witnesses or not.

Overt enforcement, on the low end of the scale, means having officials among the crowd pushing people towards the scaffold. At home this seemed to be targetted towards children and people who were judged as ‘other’. Different races to the majority, people who might have been read as a different religion, people who might have been read as queer etc.

This is because the message is ‘This could be you.’

I know practices in other countries have sometimes gone beyond this. Police or armed officials will sometimes go out and gather a crowd of witnesses by just… approaching people on the street and demanding they attend.

This approach requires quite a bit of man power and is not practical or necessary in every setting. In most cases setting things up in the right place and time is enough to ensure a large number of witnesses.

What I’m trying to illustrate here is that a lot of people will see this stuff without having made a conscious choice to do so.

And making a conscious choice to see it… well it does say something about the character but not in the way you’re thinking.

Because these displays are all about the power of the state. Witnessing them, responding to them is performance and it’s a performance of state loyalty. You can’t expect someone to give their true opinion on public displays of violence when criticism or voicing ‘dislike’ could lead to them being targets of violence.

Basically if you’ve got characters going to see this stuff regularly then it’s worth asking why they feel the need to display their loyalty in this way. Sometimes it’s because they really really believe in the state. But often… they’re compensating for something.

Wrapping up I think it’s important to note there’s often a difference between what people say about this stuff versus what they actually feel. And that’s because these things are explicitly political and explicitly about the power a state has over it’s subjects.

The way individuals respond to these things in public and what they say about them in public effects how they are treated. Sometimes it comes with obvious legal sanctions. Even if it doesn’t… these displays are entirely about reminding people the state can kill them.

And it doesn’t actually discourage crime or civil disobedience but it does create a climate of fear and hostility which permeates daily life.

Think about why the state is insecure about their power. Think about how your characters live with that background radiation and whether it feeds into cultural ideas around things like martyrdom or nobility of suffering.

Remember that there is a difference between public and private life. Existing in these kinds of brutal states often means having quite a sharp distinction between them. This can create very strong bonds to those the characters trust. It can also create a big difference between private and public personas.

If you’re writing a world where public torture and executions are happening there’s more going on then just individual character’s reactions. You are saying something about the world, the ruling class and the politics of the area.

Take the time make sure you know what you want to say.

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#writing advice #tw torture #tw mutilation #tw racism #tw police brutality #execution #torture as execution #effects of torture on the public #public torture #public execution #writing torture #writing witnesses #writing symptoms #effects of torture #effects of torture on witnesses

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 4 years ago

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My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

#hanna 2011 #a simple favor #i am mother #lilo and stitch #nausicaä of the valley of the wind #a silent voice #in this corner of the world #wolf chilren ame and yuki #wolf children #roman holiday #black and white film #anime #disney #studio ghibli #movie recs #top 10

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ladyeliot · 4 years ago

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The September Foundation Grant

Request: @iawaythrown Avengers x Teen reader. The reader is a brilliant engineer, that makes (grade A+) battle armor & weapons. The Vulture and the reader works together by selling these illegal armor & weapons. (The Vulture even gives the reader profit because the reader lives alone) The reader learns at school (The R is the quiet/loner kid) about Vulture getting arrested and they soon decide to leave New York and disappear. They grab all their money and leave but is followed/arrested by Tony and Peter at the reader house. They learn that the Vulture snitched on him. Ending could be up to you.

Pairing: Vulture / Iron Man / Spider-man x Teen!Reader

Warnings: Illegal work.

Word count: 1829

A/N: Sorry it took so long! / Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Anything could happen in New York City. A place that never slept, that was always awake at all hours, where criminals and children went everywhere hand in hand. Everything was hidden, but also in plain sight, if you knew where to look. Its streets were a labyrinth, but they always led to a way out, everything had an end. Its neighbourhoods were small communities distributed by culture or social status, but that did not prevent them from relating to each other. A teenager raised in Queens might have different limitations than one raised in the Upper East Side, but it all depends on the person. What I mean is, you never know what your life is going to be like in New York City.

Your mind was in constant operation, even if you wanted it to, it never stopped, it never rested, in a millisecond the thought passed through it 'when was the last time I slept'. You were in a hangar near the Harlem docks, this lucrative activity occupied a large part of your free time after high school, taking up your weekends as well. You could call it 'extracurricular activity' or also 'gainful employment', or maybe a combination of both, after all you were improving your engineering skills and earning money for it.

You had been enrolled in that new business for more than five months, your expectations for the future had changed, now you weren't so sure if going to university was what you really wanted. You were not driven by the easy money, what you were doing was much more than that, it was money, knowledge and all the adrenaline possible to do something legally binding. All the talent that you thought would be wasted and that you had never been valued was now being used to do something else, to be someone in the world, even if it was in the hidden world.

You designed, created and crafted technologically advanced combat armour and weaponry, you built things you hardly thought you would be able to make. All you needed was the time and the facilities that Adrian Toomes had offered you. He discovered you, he had set his sights on you and trusted you, something that many other people had not done before. In your past years you dreamed of getting a position at MIT, but now it was no longer among your priorities, at least for the time being.

Adrian's discovery came about in the most natural way possible. You were attending Midtown School of Science and Technology, and one day during a chemistry class the teacher had the brilliant idea of paired assignments, so you were paired with Liz Toomes. Liz is a really intelligent young woman, the problem in question was the wide difference between your characters, your quiet countenance and your passivity for social relations caused discomfort among your classmates, but leaving that aside, you decided to go to her house to do the work. It was there that you met her father, Adrian, who found your project notebook when you dropped it on your way to Liz's room. He was clever, slipping in a note with his personal phone number expressing his interest in your projects. At first you were completely shy of the idea, but eventually you agreed, otherwise you wouldn't be in that situation.

The first project you did was an improvement to his exo-suit, he had been working on it for years, but for reasons you didn't know he didn't want to tell you who had helped him make it, he just told you that you had everything you needed at your disposal and that he wanted to see what you could be able to do, and so he did.

Since that day the small business you had in your hands had evolved, Toomes was in charge of the public-facing transactions, and you were hidden away carrying the full weight of engineering. But that didn't mean that when you went back out on the streets you became a normal teenager again.

On a Monday like any other Monday, New York City was glowing in the sunlight. On the drive to school we went over in a steady stream what we had studied for the maths exam you had in the fourth period, although it was really something you had passed a long time ago. You kept yourself hidden under a pair of headphones, listening for anything that would prevent you from interacting with people. Your day-to-day actions when you walked through that door were mechanical. You walked thirty-three steps down the main corridor, turned right, twenty-seven steps to your locker, entered code 5432, opened it and took your books, dropped off your lunch, closed it again and headed for your class, trying not to bump into anyone who crossed your path. That, day after day.

But that day, that second between songs, when your ears came back to the real world you heard a word "Vulture". Your senses quickly focused on the conversation that group of girls were having, you stopped the music and without looking at them you sharpened your hearing.

"My cousin just sent me the video," one of them said, showing her mobile phone to the others. "He was arrested tonight, on the Harlem waterfront. Isn't Spider-man cool?"

"Wow!" exclaims one.

"I can't believe the Vulture is Liz's dad," adds another girl. "By the way does anyone know anything about her?"

That conversation caused a pang inside you. You quickly, but as calmly as possible, closed your locker and headed in the opposite direction of the entire student body, heading back outside. You knew what this meant, your mind had explored various scenarios about the possible events that could happen if the FBI or anyone else discovered you. You knew what you had to do, how to do it and where to go, you had created a plan in your head. You didn't trust Adrian to take all the blame and you would come out of the situation unscathed, you were a minor and could always appeal to a corrupt situation, but that wasn't your style either.

Step by step you were fulfilling your plan, the first thing was to erase any traces that implicated you in those events, you had to go home and get rid of everything you had in your possession that implicated you, both physically and virtually, then it would be better for you to disappear for some time, you had plenty of money to do so and you knew that your family would not care too much where you were.

You went into the house, you had hours ahead of you until one of your parents returned. You went to your room and began to tidy up every gadget or item on your bed that connected you to the crime. It took you very little time compared to how long it took you to erase your fingerprints from the virtual world, it was obvious that you kept your figure hidden under a pseudonym, but every weapon or armour that the FBI had confiscated had your fingerprint on it, a fingerprint that could lead them to you.

The hours passed, you knew that sooner or later your parents were going to walk through the door, time was running out for you to catch a bus out of that city. You opted to pack up your things, leave that note and continue erasing data during the long trip to Arizona, but it was too late. A loud noise from the hallway alerted you that your time had come to an end.

"Ms. Y/L/N, you know what they say about sometimes you have to run before you walk?" Iron Man appeared before your eyes. "Too slow."

The armour that stood before you cut off your main passage to the exit, though you knew in your gut that there was little you could do against it without outside help. Slowly you reached inside your backpack and pulled out one of your unfinished projects, a laser that fired a powerful beam at the armour. That mere distraction allowed you to turn around and head inside your bedroom with the intention of climbing out of your window and down the fire escape, however as you were about to do so a body burst through the window, launching a slimy mass that stuck you to the wall of your room. In front of you Iron Man and Spider-man, both staring at you, and you feeling the most vulnerable being at that moment.

"Wow!" Spider-Man picked up the laser from the floor. "This is cool! What kind of energy does it work with?"

"Hey kid! Put that down," his ally informed him. "Okay, do you know why we're here?" he asked waiting for an answer that never came. "Not very talkative, I understand, I was going to explain it to you anyway, do you know Adrian Toomes? I guess so, at least he knows you, he gave your name." your face hardened. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't be that surprised."

You remained impassive, listening to his every word and trying to form a plan in your head that would help you escape the situation.

"Listen, I have no intention of selling you out to the police," suddenly the Iron Man suit vanished, revealing the figure of Tony Stark before your eyes. "I admire you, I really do, well I don't mean I admire that you joined a group of criminals and created technologically enhanced weapons and sold them, but I admire your skills.

"Isn't that what you've done?" you finally interjected, responding to her retorts.

"Oh! She speaks!" he pointed at you, looking at Spider-man. "Good point. But to the point, you decide, you either come with us and decide to join the good side, or we leave you here for your parents to find you, explain everything that's happened and then to the police. You decide. The clock is ticking."

Your mind was reactivated again, it was clear that there were two options and only one of them was within your prospects. It might take you a while to forgive yourself for what you were going to do next, but it was your only way out. You nodded slowly and clenched your jaw tightly as you surrendered to those in front of you.

"Good choice," Tony said with a nod as Spider-man released you from those webs that had invaded your body.

From down the hall you heard the front door open and two people walked in, engaged in conversation, your parents. Your eyes widened exponentially.

"Just in time," Tony said. "See you later, kid. And you and I," he looked at you, "are going to explain to your parents about the September Foundation Grant."

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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years ago

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what’s ur opinion on the whole ancestral hall thing because I’ve seen many takes on how wangxian were in the wrong and how jc was right to be mad but I always thought that his anger during that situation stemmed from a place different to that of what everyone seems to think 😶

Hi anon,

I do not hold all the cultural knowledge to be able to be a definite resource wrt how wangxian’s behaviour would have been perceived “in-universe”. So take my thoughts on the topic with a grain of salt, and please do not mind that I will focus more on what can be found explicitly in the text itself.

My understanding from what others have explained is that bringing to the ancestral hall someone who’s not from the “family”, in this case LWJ, is generally disrespectful. Considering WWX’s inner thoughts, where he’s literally asking JFM and Yu-furen to witness their bows, I think that perhaps WWX was so caught up in the fantasy/idea of LWJ as his future spouse that he might not have registered as much how, in the current situation, LWJ was not family.

It does however make me pause a little that, until JC’s appearance, the narrative does not seem to present the situation in such a manner that we might think that it was extremely presumptuous of LWJ to kneel alongside WWX, and accompany him in burning incense. Considering that LWJ is known to be someone who is very proper, and that WWX is not unaware of the rules of propriety (even if he does not always follow them), I do find it interesting that there is no hesitation from either of them.

To make up for his thoughtless words, he lit up three more sticks of incense. Just as he raised them above his head, still apologizing in his mind, it suddenly got darker beside him. He turned to find that Lan Wangji had also kneeled down beside him.

Now that they were in the ancestral hall, for the sake of courtesy, of course he had to show his respect as well. Lan Wangji also took three sticks of incense and, sweeping his sleeve to the side, and ignited them using one of the red candles. His movements were proper, and his expression was grave. Wei Wuxian tilted his head to look at him, his lips curving upward almost uncontrollably. Lan Wangji glanced at him and reminded, “The ashes.”

The three sticks of incense that Wei Wuxian held had been burning for quite a while. A bit of ashes had already accumulated at the top, close to falling off. However, he still refused to insert them into the tripod, instead saying, “Let’s do it together.”

Lan Wangji didn’t object. And so, each with three sticks of incense, the two of them kneeled among rows of tablets and bowed down to Jiang Fengmian and Yu ZiYuan’s names together.

Once. Twice. The movements were exactly the same. Wei Wuxian, “That’s it.” He finally placed the incense into the tripod.

In the end. Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Wangji, who’s kneeling as properly as ever beside him. He put his hands together and uttered in his heart, ‘Jiang-shushu, Yu-furen, it’s me again. I’m here to disturb you two again. But I really did want to bring him here and show him to you. Let the two prostrates we just did count as prostrating* to the Heavens and the Earth, and to the Father and the Mother. Please help me reserve the person beside me for now. I’ll owe you the last prostrate for now, and find some chance to make up for it in the future…’

I am not certain as well how WWX having left the Jiang sect affects his “right” to be there. JC does seem to suggest that, as an “outsider” who was, still according to JC, “kicked out of the sect,” WWX doesn’t a have right to be there. I cannot tell whether that is an entirely fair assessment due to my lack of cultural knowledge, since JC demonstrates that he is not above bending the truth to fit his own narrative (ie when he says that WWX was kicked out of the sect when we already know at this point in the narrative that this is not what transpired).

However, it is also important to keep in mind that a character’s anger, just like real people’s, is not always motivated by rational concerns or that these rational concerns might become entangled with other grievances, some of which might not be as motivated. JC’s initial reproaches directly indicate that he considers it a faux-pas at best and an insult at worst that WWX decided to come and take LWJ with him.

“Wei Wuxian, you really don’t take yourself as an outsider, do you? You come and leave whenever you want. You take with you whomever you want. Do you perhaps still remember whose sect this is? Who’s the owner?”

This is reinstated a little bit later:

Wei Wuxian threw him a sideways glance, speaking in a calm voice, “I’m only here to burn some incense. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

Jiang Cheng, “Burn some incense? Wei Wuxian, are you really that dense? It’s been so long since you were kicked out of our sect, and here you are taking unwelcomed people with you to burn incense for my parents?”

That being said, it is interesting to note that WWX calls these remarks “vulgar“ and “obliviously malicious”. Now, the question is, is it because he’s fiercely protective of LWJ that he takes these words so badly or because in this case it is transparent that JC is intentionally overly spiteful?

Oher reproaches levelled against WWX, or the two of them, also have nothing to do with them burning incense in the ancestral hall. Indeed, JC brings up grievances he still hold against them, some of which we know are not exactly fair. As well, his own insecurities and issues fuel his anger, something directly acknowledged in the text.

Jiang Cheng mocked, “Look how forgetful you are. What does unwelcome people mean? Then let me remind you. It was because you played the hero and saved Lan-er-gongzi, who’s standing beside you right now, that the entire Lotus Pier and my parents went down with you. And that wasn’t enough. With the first time, soon comes the second. You even had to save Wen-gaos and drag my sister down with you. What a person you are! What’s more, you’re even so generous as to take the two to Lotus Pier. The Wen-gao’s strolling in front of my sect’s gates; Lan-er-gongzi came here to burn incense. You’re here on purpose to remind me, to remind them.” He continued, “Wei Wuxian, who do you think you are? Who gave you the face to take whomever you want into our sect’s ancestral hall?”

Wei Wuxian knew that Jiang Cheng had to settle this with him no matter what.

For Lotus Pier’s destruction, Jiang Cheng thought not only that Wei Wuxian responsible, but also that Wen Ning and Lan Wangji were responsible too. He wouldn’t give a friendly look to either of the three, let alone when they were walking right in front of his face at the same time inside Lotus Pier. He was probably infuriated.

[...]

“Jiang Cheng, just listen to yourself. What are you saying? Is it appropriate? Don’t forget who you are. After all, you’re a sect leader. Insulting a renowned cultivator in front of Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen’s spirits—where is your discipline?”

His original intention was to remind Jiang Cheng to at least hold some respect for Lan Wangji. However, Jiang Cheng was the most sensitive. From those words, he managed to make out the notion that he was not fit to be a sect leader.

Of import to the context of the scene, JC suggests also that WWX insulted the memory of his parents by “fooling around” with LWJ in Lotus Pier, suggesting that their hug (and romantic feelings) “dirtied their eyes and contaminated their peace”. He spells it out once more, a little bit later.

Jiang Cheng pointed outside, “Mess around outside however you want, whether under a tree or on a boat, hugging or otherwise! Get out of my sect, get out of anywhere my eyes can see!”

Especially so because we get the contextualisation from the narration (one of the few times we are told things that WWX cannot be privy to) that JC had been following them for a while, stewing, until he exploded.

At once, he was almost certain that the two really were in that kind of relationship. He could not turn around and leave, yet he did not want to say a single word to the two, so he continued to hide himself as he followed them. Every single look and movement that passed between them seemed different in his eyes. For a while, the shock, absurdity, and slight disgust that he felt combined to overpower his hatred. It was only after Wei Wuxian brought Lan Wangji into the ancestral hall that the long-suppressed hatred was awakened again, devouring his courtesy and rationality.

I’m too tired to go check the original chinese to see whether the translation conveys well the connotations of the text, but like... “absurdity”, “disgust”, “hatred”, “devouring his courtesy and rationality”: as a writer, if I wanted to show that a character was engaging in a bout of rightful anger, that’s certainly not how I would present their emotional and mental state before they lashed out.

Now, WWX is not blameless for the situation, as he is quick to react both because of his over-protectiveness of LWJ and his own insecurities regarding his feelings toward him, which make him loose his cool and start the escalation that JC is too happy to continue

Wei Wuxian raged, “Hanguang-Jun is only my friend—what do you think we are?! I warn you. Apologize right now—don’t make me beat you up!”

Hearing this, Lan Wangji’s expression froze for an instant. Jiang Cheng laughed, “Well, then I’ve never seen ‘friends’ like that before? You warn me? Warn me against what? If you two had the slightest trace of integrity left, you shouldn’t have come here and…”

Seeing the change in Lan Wangji’s expression, Wei Wuxian thought he felt insulted by Jiang Cheng’s words. He was so angry that his entire body was shaking. He did not dare think about what Lan Wangji would think after being shamed like this. The rage from his heart rushed to his head as he threw out a talisman, “Have you had enough yet?”

The talisman was both fast and powerful. It exploded at Jiang Cheng’s right shoulder, causing him to stagger. Jiang Cheng didn’t expect Wei Wuxian to attack so suddenly. His spiritual powers hadn’t recovered completely yet, either, and so the talisman hit its target. Blood seeped from his shoulder as disbelief flashed across his face. Zidian immediately unravelled from his fingers, lashing out with sizzling light. Lan Wangji unsheathed Bichen to block the attack. The three began to fight inside the ancestral hall.

To me the text seems to suggest, as you did, that JC’s anger and lashing out is not actually about the incense burning in the ancestral hall in itself--that he let his hatred overpower any sense of courtesy and rationality, as the narration suggests. It is easy to ponder whether JC would have been that upset if, when he had gone to look for WWX, he had not found him being happy in LP with an ‘outsider’ like LWJ, but on top of it all, acting like he is in love with a man. Would his reaction have been the same if he had just happened upon them kneeling in the ancestral hall? Would his reaction have been the same if he still did not blame WWX, and so many others, for all the misfortunes that ever befell him and his family? As well, one could also easily wonder how in a similar situation a character who is not as prone to anger and flying off the handle like JC would have reacted to the same actions.

TLDR: I do not have the have the cultural knowledge to tell how much “in the wrong” the characters were, however I think it would be disingenuous to suggest based on what we are presented with in the text that JC’s reaction was 100% motivated and rational, particularly since the text literally includes the line “the long-suppressed hatred was awakened again, devouring his courtesy and rationality.”

#mdzs meta #mdzs #wwx #jc

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

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M’Baku’s Love-Chapter 1

Hey y’all, sooooo this is inspired by Sylvie’s Love. It was such a sweet movie that made me feel all the feels, so I felt the need to write a love story for our Thicc Kang. Seriously, go watch it on Prime if you can. Let me know what y’all think, and check out my masterlist if you haven’t already! I have a few one shots and a series for both our king and our prince.

This one’s on the shorter side, but enjoy!

Word count: 2992

When M’Baku integrated the Jabari into the rest of Wakandan society he had some concerns about there being some cultural friction. Having been separated for centuries, M’Baku assumed his people would have a hard time with adjusting to the new union, but as it turned out he didn't have to worry. Above all, he was worried about lowland Wakandans possibly subjecting his people to their prejudices, but it turned out that they have a pretty similar society to the Jabari and they meld really well. The different tribes of Wakanda all live in their separate provinces and have their own ways of living just like the Jabari, the only difference being that they interacted with the larger community that included the rest of Wakanda as well.

The chief’s misconceptions and prejudices about the other Wakandans were soon wiped out and replaced with a love of his country. The whole of it, as opposed to just his domain. He even began to enjoy his trips to the city, still finding the advancements unnecessary but amazing nonetheless. Over time, he grew curious of the outside world after befriending Prince N’Jadaka. The prince would regale him with horror stories of life on the outside, some were personal others were from around the diaspora.

However, M’Baku still couldn't understand the outside world, so King T’Challa decided it would be best if he get to experience it for a while. At first, he was against it. Why would he want to experience such a horrible place? After much effort, T’Challa was able to convince him to spend three months in Oakland at the Outreach Center. At first, M’Baku thought the time span was excessive. He was Chief of the Jabari and had important duties to attend to, after all, he couldn’t just go galavanting halfway across the world just because he couldn’t grasp the concept of white supremacy.

M’Baku made his way through the hallways of the royal palace and when he arrived at the large ornate door to the king’s office, the guards saluted him before parting and letting him pass. He raised his fist to knock when T’Challa spoke up from inside.

“Enter.”

M’Baku cautiously opened the door and looked at the king with confusion written all over his chiseled face.

“How did you-”

“The heart shaped herb gives me enhanced hearing among many other things. Come, sit down. How has the tour been so far?”

In addition to his time in the outside world, M’Baku had chosen to learn more about the tribes of Wakanda. He had spent one weekend a month with a different tribe to understand their way of life. He only just started but so far the river tribe was in the running for second favorite.

“It is going well, umhlobo wam. You all are not too different from Jabari, aside from the frivolous gadgets.”

T’Challa smiled at his stubborn friend’s unwillingness to accept their technology. Getting him to wear Kimoyo beads was harder than bathing a cat, but he eventually came around but only for communication purposes. Some Jabari, especially the younger ones took right to it, but most were still living their traditional lives.

“I noticed the same thing when I stayed with you...the second time, clearly.”

The two chuckled at the now fond memory of the king almost dying at the hands of his newly beloved cousin.

“Clearly. So have you decided on a departure date yet?”

“Yes, I will be leaving with you and staying for about a week to check on the centers myself and help you acclimate. Obviously N’Jadaka will be there as well but I figured you’d want someone with you that’s a little more…”

“Level headed?”

“N-, well, yes, but also no. He is doing well at the Center, but he is still...himself.”

The prince was a wildcard. One you want to have in your hand, but a wildcard nonetheless. M'Baku needed someone with a slightly longer fuse and a calmer disposition to show him around.

“Well I would not have it any other way, he is quite entertaining at times.”

A grin creeped up the king’s face as he thought of how his cousin’s progress had allowed for the parts of personality that aren’t rooted in anger to shine through.

“I agree. So, since I’ll be accompanying you we have to leave tomorrow.”

“I will alert my council.”

——————

The heat in California was marginally better than Wakanda, but still too high for M’Baku’s liking. He would have preferred to visit in the middle of their winter when the temperatures were milder, but anything over 60 degrees felt like a sauna to him. He also wasn’t used to having so much unprotected skin showing, but the weather called for his arms and legs to be free from fabric. His size and physique made him hyper visible and he noticed several of the volunteers doing double-takes as he and T’Challa walked through the halls of the Wakandan Outreach Center. He knew some of the attention was because the king didn’t visit often, but when he would catch eyes lingering on him he’d smirk and keep on moving.

T’Challa took him on a tour of the Center that ended with N’Jobu’s memorial in room 1401, which was preserved like a museum exhibit. The room stood as a reminder of Wakanda’s dark past, and a promise to never repeat it. M’Baku walked around the memorial, silently paying his respects to the murdered Wakandan prince and taking in the scene. The small plaques around the room gave visitors information about Prince N’Jobu, his family, his mission, and his death.

“Why did you go with these instead of virtual pages? Or whatever they are called...” M’Baku asked.

“Holograms. I felt it would take away from the feeling of heaviness this room invokes on you when you enter. This memorial needs to be both seen and felt for it to be effective.”

M’Baku nodded slowly, eyes still roaming around the room.

“Come, my friend,” T’Challa clapped him on the shoulder. “You will have plenty of time to come back here if you wish. For now, let me show you to your office.”

“Office?” The two walked down yet another hallway and headed up to the top floor.

“Yes, you didn’t think this was a vacation did you?” The king chuckled.

“Well, no but I assumed it would be more study than work.”

“It is both. You will be our Jabari Ambassador while you are here. I would like for you to come up with a skillshare program that will allow for the kids here in Oakland to learn your ways. One of the purposes of our Outreach Center is to bring about cultural understanding between us and our diaspora siblings, who we are now referring to as the Lost Tribe at the prince’s request. For now, we just have Oakland but eventually I plan to expand the program. Shuri is over the STEM program, Nakia handles social outreach, and N’Jadaka keeps the whole thing running smoothly, and you will make sure the Jabari are represented in our curriculum.”

“It would be my honor to bring Jabari ways to the Lost children.”

“I’m glad, now here is your office,” T’Challa pointed to a corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows and a view of the bay. “It is not a throne room, but it is quite nice.”

The king then took the time to show him the basic technology he would need to use and some of the more advanced technology at his disposal he knew he would probably never touch.

“You will have plenty of time to settle in tomorrow, for now I will show you your apartment,” T’Challa led the way back through the center and out to the car which took them about 10 minutes away to an apartment building.

“Our buildings are much more impressive,” M’Baku remarked.. It warmed T’Challa’s heart to hear his friend refer to Wakanda proudly instead of just his own corner of the country, and he let out a chuckle. Things really can change…

“I completely agree, my friend.”

The apartment turned out to be a loft that was the perfect size for the large Jabari Chief. The high ceilings, the open space, the floor to ceiling windows, the exposed brick...M’Baku actually liked it.

“Worthy of a chief?” T’Challa asked.

“That it is,” M’Baku said, walking around and taking in the space. The restaurant style kitchen was fully stocked with all his vegetarian favorites and some soon to be new favorites as well. He picked up a square package and stared at it in confusion, never having seen the meat-substitute before. “What is this to-fu?”

“It’s a very popular protein source made from soybeans.”

M’Baku nodded then moved to the living space, surprised to see a television, but the king explained he would need to stay up on current events, or maybe even watch a movie every now and then.

When T’Challa showed him the thermostat, he was so ecstatic he immediately put it on the lowest setting.

“I should leave before you freeze me out. If you need anything I’m just a kimoyo bead aw-,” T’Challa cut himself off when another, more important thought occurred to him. “Oh, I forgot to mention you’ll be getting an assistant. I sent three files to your beads, take a look and hire whichever one fits you best”

“Thank you, brother.” The two shook hands and saluted each other before the king left to give M’Baku his space.

The chief admired the Jabari wood furniture and the furs on the couch, plopping down to try to figure out how to work the television. After some time, he found a news station and only lasted about 5 minutes before he needed to turn it off. Instead, he accidentally switched to a thing called HBO Max and clicked on a show where the main character looked familiar somehow.

“In West Philadelphia, born and raised,” the theme song played over and over and over as M’Baku binged his first tv show, laughing the whole way.

A few hours passed and he was brought back from tv land by a rumble in his stomach. Not in the mood to cook, he decided to explore the neighborhood and look for food instead.

After just a few minutes M’Baku came to a stop in front of a place called Cafe V. He stopped to take a look at the menu in the window when he felt a small, or regular sized, person bump into his side. His eyes travelled down to see who would dare shove Lord M’Baku, Chief of the Jabari, when his eyes landed on a caramel-complected goddess with a bright teal fade. His face immediately softened as she stammered through an apology.

“I-I am so s-sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I got a text and, it doesn’t matter, are you ok?”

He struggled to find the words.

“Yes, are you? That was quite the impact.”

She was surprised by his kindness and gave him a smile.

“It was, wasn’t it?” The two shared a quick laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m running late to meet a friend...literally.”

“Well I would not want to keep you, but please be mindful of your surroundings. I am sure everyone is not as nice as I am.”

“That’s for sure. Oh, and by the way,” she leaned in as if to tell him a secret. He leaned in to listen to whatever she had to tell him. “There’s a Black-owned vegan restaurant around the corner there.”

M’Baku’s eyes lit up, “Two things I love.”

“Black people and vegan food?”

“Precisely,” a grin overtook his face and she couldn’t help but stare at his adorable gap.

“Well I really have to go, nice meeting you stranger!”

And with that, she was off before he could even get her name. The best he could do is hope she’d crash into him on the sidewalk again one day.

“I really hope she is more careful,” he said to himself as he rounded the corner to The V Spot.

——————

Monday morning, M’Baku arrived at the outreach center full of nervous energy. He had wanted to look nice for his first day, but his tunic felt like it was cutting off his circulation the closer he got to the building. When he finally arrived in his office, he found it full of royals.

“Nigga you look uncomfortable as hell in that,” N’Jadaka was, naturally, the first to call out the obvious. Thankfully, the Queen came to his rescue.

“Stop it Daka, you’d look uncomfortable in Jabari attire,” Nakia said as she undid his top button. “There. Better?”

“Much. I did not want to ruin the look.”

“Turning blue ruins the look, genius,” Princess Shuri chimed in.

“Sister, he wasn’t blue...yet. If we hadn’t gotten here when we did the Jabari would’ve been out a Chief,” the king added.

“Ha. You all are very funny. Are you done?”

“We’re just fucking with you, man. How you liking the loft?”

“It is wonderful. I am almost embarrassed to say I have watched the television for several hours. Have you ever seen the Fresh Prince of Bel Air? It is hilarious!”

“Aw hell yeah, that’s like thee funniest show hands down. You know what? While you’re here, I’m introducing you to alllllll the Black entertainment. You’re gonna love it, niggas stay laughing at something.”

“Speaking of, I thought… that word-“

“You can say nigga. You’re a nigga too, my nigga.”

T’Challa leaned over to M’Baku, “It is an adjustment, but the reclaiming of slurs can be a powerful thing for oppressed peoples. And it’s just so versatile.”

“What an interesting language…”

“Are we teaching an English class or are we meeting about curriculum…?” Shuri asked impatiently before her brother pinched her arm.

“Ouch! I’m telling mother.”

“Go ahead, I’ll tell her you’ve been sneaking out at night to hang with your little friends.”

Shuri shot her cousin a deadly glare, making him put his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t say shit. He’s a walking lie-detector, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Nakia and M’Baku snickered at the situation they had no part in. Nakia, because she knew her husband had known for quite some time and would never snitch on his baby sister, but always had Dora following her at a safe distance. M’Baku enjoyed the moment because he and the Princess had a love-hate relationship and seeing her in “trouble” tickled him.

The moment passed and the five of them moved to a conference room to discuss the upcoming summer. Shuri advocated for a nanobots workshop on weekends and Nakia laid out her plans for summer programs. The king and prince listened closely and N’Jadaka gave his input here and there. T’Challa mostly nodded along, as this was more so his cousin’s job than his. He just signs the checks.

“...and Monaé just hired three new dance instructors because our classes are so popular with the community. She’ll discuss it in the Department Head meeting later-“

“Is that not what this is?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused.

“If anything this is more of an executive meeting. We each oversee our departments, but have help running them. That’s who we will meet with in about 15 minutes.” Nakia responded, checking her beads for the time.

The executives finished their meeting just as other people started to roll in. Kitchen staff brought up some breakfast for everyone, and as soon as M’Baku stood to grab a bagel his knees nearly buckled. There she was, Miss In A Hurry herself. He tried to play it cool and keep his smile under wraps, but when she caught sight of the blinding whiteness from the other side of the room she recognized him immediately and waved.

“Friend of yours…?” T’Challa asked quietly with a raised brow. The man had only been here 24 hours…

“She ran into me on the street the other day and recommended an amazing restaurant. I should go say thank you…”

“Yes you should...why aren’t you?”

“I-“

“Mhm,” T’Challa said before turning to the rest of the attendees. “Everyone, please welcome Lord M’Baku, Chief of the Jabari. He will be here the next three months integrating Jabari culture into our curriculum. As many of you know, the Jabari-“

M’Baku tuned T’Challa out, staring instead at the girl with the teal fade. The look on her face when the king introduced him made him want to go hold her. It was painstakingly obvious that she was embarrassed to have almost run over royalty.

“-until we started the integration process a year ago. Now, Lord M’Baku you may have the floor.”

M’Baku cleared his throat and shook himself from his daydream.

“Uh, hello. I am sure it will be a pleasure to work here with you all. I would like to meet with each department head at some point this week to discuss how to make your programs more inclusive of Jabari customs. We can start scheduling those after we are finished here.”

The meeting went on for about an hour with M’Baku and the department heads furiously taking notes. M’Baku was pleasantly surprised that he wasn’t the only one using a physical notepad and pen. He looked to the stranger from earlier and noticed her bright notebook with a multicolored neon leopard cub in the middle. The name on the side read “Lisa Frank”, but he wasn’t sure if that was her name or the artist. She used several different colored pens to take her notes, and the red cat eye glasses he didn’t see on her face the other day kept slipping down her nose. She was a colorful one, that was for sure.

By the time the meeting ended he still hadn’t caught her name, but he knew she was head of the Arts department and that he would meet with her the next day. He could wait until then.

Next Chapter

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #sylvie's love #m'baku #m'baku x oc #black!oc #thicc king

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jadelotusflower · 3 years ago

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Roundup - September 2021

This month: Saving Fish From Drowning, Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, Anne Boleyn, Cruella, The Chair

Reading

Saving Fish from Drowning (Amy Tan) - I've always enjoyed Tan's work (particularly The Joy Luck Club, both the book and film) - Fish is somewhat of a departure, following a group of American tourists in Myanmar, narrated by their recently deceased friend Bibi Chen. The novel begins with a preface in which Tan explains she drew inspiration for the novel based on real events chronicled by a San Franciscan psychic's "automatic writing" channeling Chen's spirit (in truth a complete invention on Tan’s part, both literary device and metaphor).

Bibi is a compelling narrator, full of wry commentary of her friends as they bumble their way through their trip, the tone of the novel quite light despite some of the dark subject matter around the political situation in Myanmar (the novel was written in 2005 and set several years earlier) and the nature of intervention - the title referring to fisherman who "save fish from drowning" by netting them. It was at times difficult to keep track of all twelve (!) of the main characters and who was who outside of the few who get the most attention of the narrative.

An interesting read, about the stories we tell ourselves and others, and the fictions we believe for comfort and hope.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass and what Alice found there (Lewis Carroll) - I've been making more of an effort to work on my novel lately, which makes some reference to these works so thought it was due for a re-read. It seems impossible to consider these separate novels given how conflated they have become in pop culture - even the Disney film takes elements from both - they act as either a duology, or alternatively a single story told in two parts.

I personally much prefer Looking Glass, perhaps because I imprinted on the 1985 miniseries as a child (which adapts both novels, but we only had the second part on tape) - best known for it's celebrity cameos in silly costumes - including Sammy Davis Jnr, Donald O'Connor, Ringo Starr, and Carol Channing, among others, and the danger of the Jabberwocky as a manifestation of Alice's fears quite a nice idea that isn't found in the original text.

Perhaps Looking Glass, while remaining absurdist, is more cohesive than Wonderland with the chess motif and central motive for Alice to reach the Eighth Square and become a queen. I do however find the constant poetry tedious, and wonder whether both Wonderland and Looking Glass are better remembered for the concepts rather than the actual text.

Watching

Anne Boleyn (episodes 1-3) - I didn't think we needed another film/show about Anne, but I was always going to watch it. This series relies upon familiarity with history as it begins with Anne's final, doomed pregnancy - opening with the haunting words “Anne is the most powerful woman in England - she has just five months to live.”

There's nothing especially new here; rather a mood and character piece as Anne's isolation and desperation grows. It is of course built around the central, compelling performance of Jodie Turner-Smith, in every single scene and not afraid to shy away from Anne's sharper edges while remaining profoundly sympathetic, surrounded by a court of whispers, her existence on a knife's edge. We know only what Anne knows, and we see the smaller, heartbreaking moments usually passed over in other adaptations - in her grief following the stillbirth, Anne sits up in bed almost catatonic, milk leaking from her breasts, her attempt to walk back the infamous “dead man's shoes” comment, and the long days of her imprisonment.

Then there’s the beautiful costumes - in a court of dark furs, Anne wears bold primary colours and velvets that catch the light, that them become more subdued prints once she is in the Tower.

The other notable feature is the casting - described as "identity conscious" rather than colour-blind, representative of the othering of Anne and her relatives. Another standout is Thalissa Teixeira as Anne's cousin Madge Shelton, fleshed out as her confidant and the only one who remains true to her. It's a fresh perspective and a worthwhile watch, particularly for Turner-Smith's performance.

Cruella (dir. Craig Gillespie) - Spoilers. I wasn’t planning on bothering with this, but my sister wanted to watch it and I’d been told by several people that it was actually quite good. Look, I'm not saying they lied, I just think they were able to look past things that I was not.

Because actually, the core story has potential and the film has enjoyable elements (notably Emma Thompson), but simply falters every time they try and shoehorn references to the source material, and there are some truly egregious attempts - Roger is the Baroness’s lawyer for some reason? And writes the familiar Cruella De Vil song about how awful she is when she's just given him a puppy?

It doesn’t work as a prequel, or villain origin story, or even a reboot, since Cruella’s character journey is over by the end of the film (I have no idea what the purported sequel is going to be about) - in fact "Cruella" is just a persona Stone's Estella adopts (complete with a terrible affected accent), and there is no conceivable way for her to become the wannabe puppy murderer we know from the book or any of the film adaptations. Oh, and Pongo and Perdita are siblings! Well done, Disney. Slow clap for you.

Also, with a runtime of 2 hours 16 minutes it is Interminable and the whole thing is saddled with a terrible, unnecessary voiceover. Seriously, they should show this in film class to demonstrate when v/o hinders not helps.

They were likely going for a Maleficent-style re-imagining, but where that succeeded (somewhat) in a completely new retelling right down to a different ending to the source material, this wants to have it's cake and eat it too - it wants to have the Cruella aesthetic (the car, the hair, Hell Hall, the camp accent) but doesn't ever let her be a villain, or even the beginnings of a villain, but that's that's reason she's so memorable in the first place. It puts all the pieces in place for the story we know, and yet that story simply cannot happen with this version of Cruella.

In the end, it's a story of a fundamentally decent person who maybe goes a bit overboard in retaliating to bullies, and swindles a sociopath to reclaim what's rightfully hers. Cruella De Vil! I just couldn't get over this fundamental misapplication of the source material.

In many ways, it almost feels as if this was pitched as a sequel, with Cruella in the Baroness role. It would have fit a lot better with the aesthetic, the time period, and the concept of punk disruption of classic fashion. Or, it was a completely unrelated story of a plucky orphan who rises in the fashion world, that at some point was grafted onto the Dalmatians property. Either one would have worked better, frankly.

I am probably being overly harsh. If you switch off your brain and enjoy the clothes it’s fine. But honestly, if you want your live action Cruella fix, just watch the Glenn Close version, because it is superior in every way.

The Chair (season 1) - I watched this for Sandra Oh, and I was not disappointed, because I got to watch Sandra Oh. On the other hand...it's not that I didn't like it, I just...wish it had been better?

The story revolves around Ji-Yoon Kim, the first woman (let alone woman of colour) to become Chair of English at a "minor Ivy" university, as she tries to juggle the clash of old style academia and new, raise her daughter as a single mother, and deal with a series of controversies caused by one of her professors (and love interest). It's the latter I feel sucked up way too much time and was ultimately unsatisfying - particularly the end, which was played like a moral victory but really rubbed me the wrong way. If this gets a season 2, I hope they dump Jay Duplass' fuckup sadsack because hoo boy, am I sick of that kind of male character.

But Sandra Oh is wonderful.

Writing

The Lady of the Lake - chapter 5 posted, 4215 words (10,261)

Against the Dying of the Light 1954 words (11,976)

Here I Go Again - 414 words (12,948)

Novel - 1039 words (1484)

Total this month: 7,622

Total this year: 48,435

#roundup #reading watching writing #september roundup

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thetravelerwrites · 5 years ago

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Hearthway Hollow: Shahan (Part 2) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Female Human Reader/Male Werewolf Additional Tags: Exophilia, Hearthway Hollow, Werewolf Boyfriend, Ramadan, Iftar, Halva, Breaking of the Fast, Muslim Character, Muslim Monster, Islamic Holiday Content Warnings: Stalker, Stalking, Guns, Anxiety, Death, Abusive Language, Sex, Oral Sex, Werewolf Sex, Knotting Words: 5898

The second and final part to @momolady’s birthday present! The reader spends several happy months in Hearthway Hollow, getting to know the people there, when her past catches up with her and she finally discovers the identity of her wolf admirer. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Visit Hearthway Hollow!

Three months had passed blissfully in Hearthway Hollow. Your job at the store acquainted you with just about every face in town, so soon you were on a first name basis with most everyone. Strangely, though there were rules against talking about the werewolves, they weren’t all that shy about shifting in public, particularly the kids. The first time you saw a mom trying to rein in the fuzzy puppy that was her child, you thought you were going to have a conniption fit and die from the cuteness.

After Billy had seen what squalor you lived in, he made it his mission to furnish the small house to the rafters. There was a proper table and chairs, a king sized bed, a couch, and lots of piddly house stuff you’d always made it a point not to be burden with, like hand towels. There was even a TV! With cable! And Netflix!

He also insisted you come over on the weekends to have dinner with his family, and you became fast friends with tiny, ferocious Kamilla. Ivan and Ellie, Kamilla’s siblings, were incredibly nice to you and seemed to take after their mother in terms of temperament.

You had started keeping perishables in the house as well, which is something you’d refused to do before. You cooked every night, and it felt really good. It felt like you were… home.

You used the shooting range at least once a week and had become friends with all of the officers. Sometimes when you were off work, you’d go by and play cards with the one who was manning the phones that day. It kept you occupied, while at the same time, there was literally nowhere safer than a police station, so you always felt like you could let your guard down there.

Of all the officers, you felt closest to Shahan. You couldn’t deny you had an attraction to him, and he had gone out of his way to make you feel safe in your own home, going so far as to install bars on the windows and security cameras at all the entry points.

Ramadan was coming up, and you wanted to do something nice to thank him. Maybe you could cook him something for Iftar, or the first meal when the fasting ended in the evening. You had done some research, and according to what you’d read, dessert was the most important part of the ending of the fast in some Islamic cultures, and dates had cultural significance, so you thought you might try your hand at making halva paste sweetened with honey, with mashed dates and chopped nuts in it.

You wondered if your wolf friend, who you’d nicknamed “Shadow” since all he did was follow you like a baby duck who’d imprinted on you, would take offense to you showing attention to another man. Frowning, you brushed that thought away. He had no claim to you, and if he was going to get jealous over you doing something nice for a friend, he wasn’t worthy of you anyway.

You often contemplated about whether or not Shahan was your wolf friend, but you couldn’t ask. More to the point, you had made the decision to not speculate about his identity. Every time you began to wonder, you shut down that train of thought immediately. Knowing who he was would complicate things. Everything was nice the way it was, and you didn’t want to ruin it. It couldn’t last forever, you knew, but all the same, there was no reason to destroy the peace prematurely.

On a Wednesday, you were playing rummy with Ariell when you asked, “Have you gone through this ritual thing? I’ve been here long enough to see other people going through it and everyone seems really happy about it, but I just can’t wrap my brain around it.”

You’d figured out Ariell was a werewolf by deduction. Just about everyone at the station was. Honestly, now that you’d had time to acclimate to the oddness of the townspeople, determining who was and wasn’t a werewolf had become almost a sixth sense.

“Oh, yeah,” He said. “As weird as it seems from the outside, I can guarantee you it’s even weirder from the wolf’s point of view.”

“How so?”

“Well,” He said with a sigh, laying down a three and picking up another card from the pack. “I met my wife Lace over eight years ago now. I was travelling because I’d spent my whole life in this tiny town and I just wanted to get away for awhile. I had no plans or aspirations other than seeing as much of the world as I could. And that’s how I met Lace.”

“What happened?”

“Well, to be perfectly honest,” He said, leaning back in his chair. “I fucked up royally. When I saw her, as soon as our eyes met, there was this… spark. We spent a glorious week together, making love, going on dates, talking for hours, and just generally wrapped up in each other. And then… I left.”

“Left?” You said, laying down a card. “Why?”

“Because I was young and stupid and I didn’t realize what was happening at first. When I did, it scared the shit out of me. I was twenty-one and thought I was too young to be tied down, too young to be in love, too young for a mate. I wasn’t even sure I believed in the whole soulmate thing until I met her, and then when I realized it was real, I… I bolted. I couldn’t face the reality of it.”

“So it really is like love at first sight?” You asked doubtfully.

“Ehhh,” Ariell replied, shrugging. “A lot of people might think of it like that, but I’m more of a pragmatist.”

“So what’s your take on it, then?”

He put his cards face down on the table and knitted his fingers in front of his mouth. “You know how… you’re out somewhere, maybe a party or in a cafe or whatever, and you’re not really paying attention to anyone, but suddenly you catch sight of someone in the room, and you don’t even know them, but there’s this… instant attraction. There’s something about them that makes you want to go over and talk to them: a tenuous thread of connection that compels you to want to know more about them. Have you ever felt that?”

“Yeah, once or twice,” You said.

“Okay, it’s like that, but amplified a million times over. It’s not necessarily love; it may not even be a physical attraction, just an intense desire of some kind you feel deep down in your bones that pulls you toward that person. I mean, when Lace and I first met, it was like a head-on collision: explosive and powerful and there was no stopping it. It was just sex at first, but then… I wanted to get to know her. I took her on dates, I asked her a million questions, and she did the same with me. We talked about anything and everything, and spent every waking moment together. It may not have started out as love, but it became love very quickly. Too quickly. And when I realized what was happening, it scared me shitless. So I ran.”

“What happened after that?”

“I got her pregnant, is what happened,” He said, picking up his cards.

“Oh, shit,” You replied in surprise.

“Yeah.” He had a look on his face that clearly said, Oops.

“So did she track you down or something, hellbent on revenge?”

“I expected her to, but no, she didn’t,” He said, blowing out his breath forcefully. “She was going to raise the baby on her own and forget all about me, and I don’t blame her for that in the slightest, but when Ari turned one she shifted. My wife is a witch, not a were, and she didn’t know anything about raising one. She wanted our daughter to grow up among her own kind, so she found Hearthway Hollow through a friend of a friend. It was just chance that it happened to be my hometown.”

“What did she do when she saw you?”

“She smacked the piss out of me, justifiably. Then she introduced me to the daughter I didn’t know I had. That day, I swore to devote my life to both of them. And I haven’t faltered since.” He sat back in his seat and stared at the ceiling. “I thought about her every single day after I left, but I was scared to go back. I knew she was my mate, but because I was a coward, I destroyed what we had. I thought she’d hate me for the rest of her life. To this day, I can’t believe she forgave me, let alone married me. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

“I agree,” You told him. “I’d have shot you.”

He laughed and sat up straight. “And I wouldn’t have held it against you.”

You sighed. “It still feels… stalkerish to me,” You said, shaking your head.

He nodded sadly. “From your experiences, I’m not at all surprised that it does. But the ritual is based on consent. If you reject him, then that’s it. He can’t try again. He can’t keep bugging you. It’s over when you, as the recipient, decide it’s over. I think that’s the biggest difference. It all depends on what you want. You’re the one in control, not him.”

“So if I told my wolf friend to stop coming around, I’d never see him again?”

“Not as a wolf, or a prospective mate, but he’d still be in town. You just wouldn’t know him. It’s one of the reasons the ritual’s anonymity works in the recipient’s favor. It’s less awkward for you should you decide to turn him down if you never know who he is.”

“But it sucks for him, though, right?” You asked.

He nodded in agreement. “Yeah. But that’s how it goes sometimes.”

Ariell had given you a lot to think about, and you went home after the game with your mind in a roil.

As you were making dinner, you heard a familiar scratching on the front door. Looking at the security monitor, you saw Shadow sitting on the porch outside. Smiling, you went to let him in.

“Hey, Shadow!” You said, clicking all the locks in place after he got his tall, slender body inside. “Did you have a good day today?”

Two happy barks. You had allowed him to answer yes or no questions, but that was the only communication you had permitted. Two barks for yes, one bark for no. He agreed to this arrangement happily, so long as it meant he’d get to have some semblance of a conversation with you.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” You said, bending to hug him around the neck as he tried to move his head to lick your face at the same time. “Hungry? I’m making chili.”

He barked two more times and danced in place, his claws tick-tacking rapidly on the hardwood.

“You scuff up that floor and Billy’s gonna skin you,” You said with a laugh.

He barked again, and you thought he was laughing too.

You served up dinner and sat on the floor with him while he scarfed his food from the bowl. Then he joined you on the couch for some bingeing and fell asleep in your lap. He was gone by morning, as usual, having left a note wishing you a good day. You sometimes thought about waking early and pretending to sleep, just to catch a glimpse of him as a human, but you stuck to your guns about leaving his identity a secret.

One day… Maybe one day…

Ramadan began, and after some failed attempts, you managed to make a very good batch of Halva paste and some lavash bread, and walked it next door to the police station. It was just after dark when you arrived, and Shahan looked up and smiled when he saw you.

“Hey!” He said brightly, standing when you came in and jumping to help you with the containers, not able to see what was inside them. “What’s all this?”

“Happy Ramadan!” You said. “Is that right? Can I say happy Ramadan?”

He laughed. “Yeah, that’s fine.” He pointed. “Is that food, because I’m starving.”

“It is!” You said. “I made halva with honey, dates, and pistachios, and lavash bread.”

His jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me? I haven’t had halva since my grandma died!”

“And I brought whole dates, too, cause I know you’re supposed to eat those first.”

His smile got wide and warm, like it always did when he talked to you for any amount of time, his eyes glittering. “Wow, you really did your research, huh?”

You shrugged and smiled back. “You’ve helped me out a lot over the last few months, and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“I appreciate it. And the fact that you made halva, which is literally my favorite, is…” He put a hand over his heart. “I’m touched, really.”

He helped you set down the food, and then you watched as he pulled out a prayer rug from a backpack so he could do the Maghrib, or sunset prayer, which was the fourth of the five daily prayers. You didn’t pray with him, but you did kneel next to him out of respect, watching his face as he bowed and listening to him mutter in Pashto.

“Are you super devout?” You asked when he was finished.

“I’m not a ‘pray every day’ kind of guy, but I do observe the important celebrations and holy days,” He replied, rolling up the rug. “I brought dinner with me. Want to join? There’s enough for two, and it’s better to break the fast with friends than by yourself.”

“Sure,” You said, briefly thinking about Shadow. Well, he could use his nose to find you.

You both ate the traditional three dates to break the fast, then he unpacked the dinner he’d brought. There was a lamb stew and vegetables rolled in flatbreads, plus fruit and a pastry called a konafah. All of it was delicious.

“This was great,” You said, wiping your mouth. “You’re a really good cook.”

“Thanks,” He said, smiling. “My Nia taught me a lot before she died, but she never got a chance to teach me how to make halva, which is why this is such a treat.”

“Well, dig in,” You said, handing him a butter knife.

He spread some of the paste onto the lavash bread you’d made and took a bite, his bright, beautiful eyes rolling closed as he moaned.

“Oh my god,” He said. “It’s so good.”

“Is it?” You asked, happily surprised.

“It’s amazing,” He said, gleefully shoving the rest of the piece of bread in his mouth and chewing with delight. “Almost better than Nia’s.”

“Aw,” You said. “Thank you.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but the phone rang. He sighed unhappily.

“I should get back to work,” He said. “But… thank you so much for the halva. And for celebrating with me.”

“It was my pleasure,” you said, and went in for a hug. The hug went on for longer than was perhaps necessary, all while the phone rang. You forced yourself to step back and bid him farewell. You could feel his eyes on you as you left.

You walked back home with a huge smile on your face, feeling lighter than air. A feeling which disappeared immediately when you saw the package sitting on your porch. Cold fingers of dread crawled up your spine and the steel bands were back, squeezing your lungs closed. You turned and sprinted back to the police station.

Shahan was just hanging up the phone as you fell through the door, close to hyperventilation.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, bounding around the desk. “What happened?”

“There’s something on my porch,” You gasped.

His face darkened. Your friend Shahan faded to the background and Officer Madhwari took over. He rushed out of the door with his hand on his side arm and strode over to your porch. He drew his gun, glanced at the package briefly, and opened your door.

“Police!” He called, stepping inside. To you, he whispered, “Stay close to me.”

You rushed to grab your gun and held it downward so you weren’t pointing it at Shahan, but you clicked the safety off. Shahan checked every room, every closet, and even looked in the attic, but no one was there. He holstered his firearm and told you to do the same. You complied.

He went out to pick up the package and brought it inside. It was wrapped in plain brown paper and had nothing on the outside: no writing, no stamps, nothing besides tape holding it closed. Shahan sniffed it deeply, trying to parse what it was by smell alone. He grimaced, and his eyes cut to you.

“What is it?” You asked him.

“Give me a second,” He said faintly, taking a pocket knife out and slitting the side open. He pulled out a small, plain grey box with a box top. Even you could smell the stench of decay and new immediately what was in it without having to ask. You covered your mouth as the tears came to your eyes.

“What do I do?” You asked him.

“Grab whatever you need. I’m taking you to Billy’s,” He said. He got on his radio, telling the other officers about what had happened and ordering them to gather the pack as you snatched up items hurriedly. When you were done, Shahan ushered you into his patrol car and sped off down to Billy’s house, which was only five minutes away.

Kamilla was at the house, and she and Billy were waiting for you outside. Billy had already shifted. You’d never seen him in his werewolf form: he was massive, bigger than any of the adult weres you’d seen yet. As soon as you arrived, he barked “Stay here!” And took off into the trees.

Kamilla put her arms around you and you sobbed into her shoulder. “It’s okay,” She was saying, patting your hair. You jumped when you felt a third hand on your back.

“It’s just me,” Shahan said. “The package had a trace of Gish’s scent on it, so the pack is using it to track him down. If he put the package on your doorstep while we were eating, then he hasn’t gotten far. We’ll find him. Don’t worry.”

You sniffled and nodded. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he nodded in return and got back into his cruiser, heading off down the road in the direction Billy had gone.

“Come in,” Kamilla said. Her mother, Maria, and Ellie were also there.

“Are you hurt?” Maria asked as you came forward.

“No,” You replied as she hugged you. “Just shaken up, I guess.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetie, the pack has some of the best trackers in the world. They’ll find this son of a bitch,” Maria said. You nodded and let her lead you to the kitchen and sit you at the table. Kamilla shifted and went outside to protect the house as Ellie made you tea.

The wait was anguish. Every once in a while, Ellie would get a text from her husband, Jack, who was helping with the search. Your heart jumped every time the ringtone sounded. There were signs of Gish in the forest, but they hadn’t caught sight of him yet.

Then, there was a call. Ellie took it just as Kamilla opened the door.

“Come outside,” She said. Gulping, you followed her.

There, on the lawn, was Shadow, but not the Shadow you knew. He was still slender and golden with a black strip down his back, he had the same glittering eyes, but rather than the complete wolf form you’d always seen, he was in his werewolf form, the halfway point between man and animal. He was tall, standing on his hind legs and towering over you, looking at you intensely. All you could do was stare at him.

“They found him,” Kamilla said. “He was almost to the highway, and we wouldn’t have been able to follow him, but they caught him before he could get too far. They’re holding him at a safe distance away from the town. Your friend here is going to take you out there.”

“Me?” You said in surprise. “Why?”

“We have our own ways of doing things,” Maria said when she came out on the porch to see what was happening. “This man hasn’t hurt anyone in town, just you. As such, what happens to him is your decision. Adam will want your opinion on the matter. And it’s a chance to confront him one last time. Do you want to pass on that?”

You thought about it. “No, I don’t.” You turned to Shadow. “Let’s go.”

He picked you up bridal-style and took off into the woods, holding you close to him. You hugged him around the neck and buried your face in his fur, smelling a clean, warm smell. Strangely, though, as the wind whipped past you, you caught a whiff of another scent.

Lamb stew and halva paste.

You knew it. You knew it had to be him. You felt a tear of both fear and relief fall from your eye and land on his shoulder.

“It’ll be okay,” He said in a low, grumbling voice. Those were the first words he had ever said to you in the entire three months you’d known him as a wolf. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear.”

“I know,” You replied, clinging more tightly.

You had lost track of time when he finally slowed to a stop and set you back on your feet. He got on all fours and shrunk from his werewolf form to his full wolf form. You understood why: if you decided to let Gish live, he couldn’t know about the nature of the town or the people who lived here.

Shadow barked once and nudged you forward, and you began to walk. There, in a clearing with the crescent moon visible in the night sky, Adam stood in front of Saul, Angelo, and Ariell in their human forms, guns drawn. Around them were at least a dozen wolves including Billy, all staring at you, flanking the officers in a circle that closed the middle figure inside. Shahan, as you suspected, was not there. At least, not in his human form.

Kneeling in the center with his hands cuffed behind his back was Gish. He was disheveled and it looked like he’d been in a fight. He was looking at you with an expression of pure hatred. Instinctively, you took a step back, but you felt Shadow behind you, a warmth at your back.

“Welcome,” Adam said, taking your hand and patting it reassuringly. “I told you we’d protect you, didn’t I?”

“And you proved it,” You said with a shaky smile.

“You understand why you’re here, don’t you?” He asked

You nodded, gulping. “Maria told me. I’d like to talk to him before I make a decision.”

Adam nodded wisely. “I understand.” And he stepped aside.

The circle of wolves let you enter, and Shadow took his place with them right at your back. Feeling his eyes on you gave you courage.

Before you ever had a chance to say anything, Gish began to hiss, “All I ever did was love you, you ungrateful bitch. All you had to do was let me, and none of this would have happened. You’re selfish; that’s always been your problem.”

The wolves around you began to growl and snarl, but you held up your hands. “No. Let him say what he wants.” And they quieted.

Gish’s eyes narrowed at your sudden ability to command wolves, but he didn’t let it stop him. “You’ve blown this whole thing out of proportion and gotten these people involved in our private business. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’ve done so much for you, and you never even thanked me for it. All I wanted was some appreciation, but that was apparently too much to ask from you. Nothing is good enough for you, is it? You’ll never do better than me and you know it. Who else would want a crazy slut like you?”

He finally stopped talking, glaring at you, and you looked down your nose at him.

“Thank you,” You said.

He smiled. “It’s about time you--”

“For making my decision for me,” You continued. “It’s the last time you get to do that.” You turned and walked away, saying to Adam as you passed, “He’s yours, fellas.”

Adam nodded and began to shift. There was a sound of terrified confusion from Gish behind you that gave way to a scream, but you didn’t look back. Shadow got up on his hind legs and held out his arms for you. You walked into them and let him take you home, the distant sounds of wolves attacking their prey fading the farther away you got.

Shadow took you back to Billy’s house, where Maria, Ellie, and Kamilla took you inside as you began to unravel. It was the first time you had come face to face with Gish since he had tried to kill you, and the weight of it was crashing down on you. Shadow made to follow you inside, but Maria stopped him.

“She needs to rest. This will have been extremely exhausting for her, mentally and emotionally. Come back later.”

Shadow grumbled agreement. You didn’t want him to go, but you were too stunned by everything that had happened to form a coherent sentence. Kamilla led you to an upstairs room with a bed and helped you get your shoes off, getting into the bed with you and holding you as you cried yourself to sleep.

The next morning, you woke to find Billy, Ivan, Ellie and her husband Jack, and Kamilla’s fiancee Corey sitting with her at the table, all of them eating breakfast. Billy got up and gave you a bone-crushing hug.

“You alright, kid?” He asked as he released you.

“Yeah, I think so,” You said. “Thanks, Billy.”

“Come on, get some food in you,” He said, pulling out a chair. “You look like shit.”

“Billy!” Maria hissed.

You waved her down, smiling weakly. “I’m sure he’s not wrong.”

You ate breakfast with the family and sat with them for a while. You considered going home, but you really didn’t feel like being alone.

Around midday, Shahan returned.

“Well?” You asked him.

“Coroner’s report says cause of death was mauling by wolves. It’s not a lie,” He said sardonically. “But it’s done.”

You didn’t know how to feel, so you just went numb.

“Want me to take you home?” He asked, and you nodded. After thanking Billy and hugging everyone, you got into Shahan’s cruiser and he drove you home. He walked you to your door.

“Will you come in for a minute?” You asked him.

“Sure,” He said, and followed you in. He watched as, after a moment’s contemplation, you took off your gun holster and pulled out your knife, mace, and taser. For the first time since you started running, stored it in your travel trunk, possibly for good. You were crying again, but you didn’t feel sad or scared or anything in particular. You were just crying.

“Are you alright?” Shahan asked in concern.

“I don’t know,” You said, your voice wavering.

He pulled you into a tight hug, one arm pulling you close to his body, and his other hand buried in your hair, holding your head to his shoulder.

“You were so brave,” He whispered into your ear. “I’m so proud of you.” Suddenly, as if he just realized what he was doing, he let go of you. “I, uh… I should get back to the station.”

“Shahan.”

“There’s a lot of paperwork left to do, and we have to notify his family.”

“Shahan, wait.”

“I’ll come back later to--”

“Shadow!”

He stopped in his tracks, his hand on the doorknob. His breathing was uneven as he turned to look at you, his eyes full of anxiety.

“It is you, isn’t it?” You asked, not really needing an answer.

He swallowed hard and let go of the doorknob unturned. “I’m… I’m sorry about the deer,” He said, his voice shaking. “If I had known, I’d never…”

You nodded. “I know.”

“I’m not like him,” He whispered pleadingly. “I would never…”

“I know.”

He was breathing very hard now, seemingly wrestling with himself. “I… I love you,” He said, apparently losing the fight with his own willpower. “I know you think it’s because of the mate connection thing, but it’s not that, I swear. You’re so brave and strong and smart and sweet. You’re so beautiful. I’ve never--”

He was cut off by you grabbing him by the ears and pulling him down for a kiss, which he returned with enthusiasm. He lifted you, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he took you and laid you on the couch. Your hands moved to the buttons of his uniform, shaking so badly that you were barely able to get them undone. He wasn’t much better; his breathing was erratic and he was kissing your face and skin in a frenzy.

“Wait,” You said. “Aren’t you supposed to refrain from intimacy during Ramadan?”

“Allah forgives,” He said, muffled against your skin.

You huffed a laugh. “Wait, Shahan. Wait, wait, wait,” You told him, pushing on his shoulders.

“What is it?” He asked, his eyes dilated wide and trained on your lips. “Do you want to stop?”

“It’s not that,” You said. “Let’s finish the ritual.”

His eyes widened in shock and delight. “Are y--really?”

You nodded and smiled at him, kissing him sweetly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. What was next after accepting gifts?”

His brow furrowed. “But you didn’t accept any of my gifts.”

“You brought me takeout, remember?” You said with a smile.

He blinked in surprise. “Oh. Yeah. Um… next is scenting.”

“Well, let’s do that, then?”

He grinned wide and his beautiful eyes sparkled. He finished getting undressed, and undressed you as well, and he started to shift. Golden fur sprouted from his skin with a black strip down his spine. He grew in height, slender and trim.

“My Shadow,” You said fondly.

He laughed and came in close, rubbing his face and cheeks to your body, licking you and sniffing you as he went. You scratched and petted him as he scented you to his heart’s desire.

“What’s next?” You asked him with a grin.

He grinned back. “You know what’s next.”

He picked you up, taking you into the bedroom. He laid you on the bed, licking up your body, his hands softly moving up your sides to cup your breasts, his thumb caressing your nipples as they hardened.

God, it had been so long…

“Shahan,” You breathed. He pulled himself up your body and kissed you, deep and hard. He pressed close to you, and you could feel something pressing against your thigh. The tingle you were feeling between your legs grew to an ache, and you opened your legs wide and wiggled a little.

He seemed to get the message, kissing back down your body until his tongue pressed against the pearl of your body, making you cry out. He linked his fingers with yours as he slurped and sucked, his growl vibrating through your core as he devoted all his attention to you. The muscles in your buttocks and thighs contracted uncontrollably as you got closer and closer to the cusp of pleasure, groaning as the wave crashed into you full force. His eyes watched as you writhed in ecstasy, your breasts heaving as the jolt of euphoria hit your brain and whited out your vision.

As you relaxed, he reared up on his knees. You felt him nudge against your entrance, but he waited, leaning on his arms and looking you in the eye.

“Yes?” He asked.

“Yes.”

As the word left your lips, he pushed himself slowly into you, and all you could feel was the throbbing of both his heartbeat and your own as he buried himself to the hilt inside you, the stretch pinching slightly but it so good that you didn’t care. He moved slowly at first, but quickly gaining momentum, creating a friction that made your eyes roll back in your head.

“I love you, Shahan,” You replied, and his pace became frenetic, pulling another blinding orgasm from you.

“I love you,” He growled into the skin of your neck.

“Oh, god,” You gasped. The orgasm was so powerful that you thought you might pass out, but he pulled out of you and flipped you easily.

“We’re not done yet, my love,” He said as he pressed the front of his body to the back of yours, lifting your hips in the air. You gripped the sheets in your hands as he re-entered you from behind, thrusting hard and fast. He slowed, and you felt him press the knot against you.

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

He pushed and it popped into place as he groaned above you, panting hard in your ear. You turned your head to kiss him over and over as he grinded himself against you hard and deep, and you moaned again and again, the pleasure drawn out and continuous, as if you were just in a perpetual state of orgasm. You felt him throb inside as he came, and he howled loudly, his spine straightening and his head pointed at the ceiling.

You did actually pass out at some point, and when you came to, you were lying on Shahan’s bare chest and he was petting your back softly. Evening light was filtering into the room.

“Mmm…” You groaned, stretching.

“Welcome back,” He said, kissing you softly.

“Sorry,” You said. “I didn’t mean to knock out on you.”

“No worries, honey,” He said. “It had been a day. Besides, I took it as a compliment.”

You snickered. “Good.” You sat up and looked out the windows. “It’s late. Is it almost time for Iftar?”

“Yeah,” He said, smiling at you sweetly. “And I could eat an entire deer.”

You made a face. “Not funny.”

He laughed and placed his hand on your face, kissing the top of your head. “Sorry.”

You nuzzled into him and he bent to kiss you. You savored it, lingering. Reluctantly, you pulled away and got up to get dressed.

After prayer and Iftar, you were sitting with him, just sort of talking and being close, when you asked him, “Listen, I need to do something that’s going to be very difficult for me. Will you stay?”

“Of course, baby. I’m here,” He said, rubbing your back.

You nodded and took out your phone. After a moment, you dialed a number and held it to your ear, your hand shaking. After a few rings, you heard a woman answer.

“Hello?”

You tried, and failed, to keep the tears from falling.

“Mom?” You said, your voice very unsteady. “It’s me.”

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Werewolf #Momolady #Hearthway Hollow #Ramadan #Muslim Character

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artpoint420 · 4 years ago

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We Bare Bears Movie Review

🤎🤍🖤

So this is it, other than the Baby Bear spin off, this is most likely the finale to this gem of a Cartoon Network show. The WE BARES MOVIE ! And lemme just say it was a sight to BEAR!

Seriously, my sister and I were hyped to see what big crazy adventure our three bro’s would go on. We LOVED the show itself but didn’t quite know what to expect for a movie. So when I finally remembered it was out yesterday, I rushed to invite her to invade my sleepover at my Nanas house so she could make us some popcorn on the stove and along with some brownies and indulging in my obsession with bubble gum, we layer back and braced ourselves to see the final moments in grown bears story.

So right off I started noticing striking similarities to the Ed, Edd, and Eddy movie I watched exactly a week ago and also gave my thoughts on in a Tumblr post. To avoid giving spoilers for the Edd movie, I might save comparing the two for a separate post. What I will say is, they both have nearly the same theme: the desire for acceptance among their peers.

It also helps that Grizz acts a lot like a more kindhearted version of Eddy, both of them extremely extroverted and always up to a big scheme. Speaking of which, both movies essentially start out with a big scheme going wrong and now the main trio needs to escape to a place that the leader of their group seems to be much better than it actually is. In the Bears case, they want to go to Canada. The only thing that confuses me about this is that Grizz is already Canadian, having been born and raised there until he left the sitcom business. I really thought going in that would play a much larger role in the movie, but it seemed like they completed forgot where Grizz was from when it was time for the bears to go back from whence they came.

Yes, the main plot of this movie is the Bears need to escape a one note villain who wants to separate and send them back to their own country. Not only can you draw your own real life parallel to this, but you know you’ve seen this plot a million times in film. The difference here is how the movie uses this to round out the themes of the show in such a perfect way. I do not want to spoil the ending here, it is so good, it made me smile so hard and wide I looked silly.

The main thing I want to talk about, rather than simply review the movie chronologically, is talk about Grizz, most notably his dream sequences. One of which begins the movie and almost had me thinking this was a baby bear film, which would’ve been fine but yeah. Anyways, it revolves around the bears nearly being hi by a train, and is completed later in the movie when we see that Grizz saved them (using his brain rather than just brute strength) and this establishes how he, before he even knew their names, felt the need to protect his brothers in arms.

Another more abstract dream of Grizz is where he is carrying baby versions of Panda and Ice Bear as Panda repeatedly asks Grizz to help them. This represents how Grizz sees his promise to protect them as a weight on his back that sometimes pulls them down. Confident as he usually is, he, in this situation, lacks confidence that he’ll be able to protect his baby bros.

But seriously, even though Ice is my favorite bear, Grizz was probably my favorite character in the movie, given how is internal struggle balances out the chaos of the external stuggles. As an older sibling myself, I can relate to him feeling inadequate to protect his little bro’s. And yeah, my buff brothers can protect themselves and my sister is a real fighter, I still think there’s a natural, almost paternal or maternal drive in older siblings to protect those closest to them that are young. Yeah, most of the symbolism in this film is about as subtle as the yellow on Mac and cheese, but what matters is that there’s charm to it.

And trust me, this show has always been full of charm, even when they reference memes. And this movie has an entire sequence dedicated to memes. I am so glad the writers of this show seem to have at least some clue as to how Internet culture truly works, and this keeps everything feeling more like a homage to popular meme animals than a sequence thrown in there just to be hip with the kids. I recognized so many of them I felt like a loser, and got so excited when I saw the crabs because yes I still listen to Crab Rave more than I should.

The Meme-nimals are yet another way to represent being an outsider, and, despite not liking the fact the bears crashed the party, eventually sympathized with and helped them, except for pizza rat. He can just leave that pizza be and starve for all I care. And to think he and panda could have been good friends based on they both are hungry for internet fame.

The funniest scene in my opinion was when the bears rode away from the cops and were replaced by hippie versions of themselves. Seriously they have human equivalents and now hippie equivalents? This is great theory material for when I make a theory video on the show in the future. Let’s just say, that was hilarious.

Also, the van they basically run into on the highway was literally the mystery machine from scooby doo. I flipped out because I had literally just noted that their van reminded me of it.

I don’t have much to say about the villain, I don’t even remember his name. I do feel like they’re was plenty of moments were he could’ve been given more character, maybe have him tell some back story that explains why he hates bears so much. But at guess because he’s symbolic of an idea more than a character, this was brushed over.

The other police guy felt had some good development, and I like how he came through in the end, but again not much to say about him.

I do wish we had the other side characters play more of a role, most of them barely got much more than a brief cameo when they could’ve done so much more.

Overall, this was a fantastic movie and though filled with cliches and tropes it has a lot of charm and I plan on watching it again for the pure joy of it. My favorite line I feel like is best to wrap up this review, because they are brothers, they may be different, they may not even look alike but, hey, that’s he best part.

#webarebears #moviereview #we bare bears

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letterboxd · 5 years ago

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Life in Film: Levan Akin

“Someone told me, ‘You are one person when you make the film, another when it’s over’. And that’s really the case with this film, it’s changed me fundamentally.” —The writer and director of And Then We Danced talks to our London correspondent Ella Kemp about masculinity, queer love stories, Georgian cinema and the ever-quotable joys of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion.

Love stories come and go, but few have the golden warmth of Levan Akin’s dance-romance, And Then We Danced, which has captivated Letterboxd members enough to garner an impressive 4.0 rating out of 5. The film follows Merab (Levan Gelbakhiani), a dancer who has grown up training at the National Georgian Ensemble, and is moved to examine the structures and traditions he exists within when the charismatic Irakli (Bachi Valishvili) arrives at the company.

Akin was born and raised in Sweden, the son of a Georgian family who emigrated in the 1960s. Following the attacks at the 2013 Pride parade in the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, the solidarity among the country’s gay and queer communities became more urgent. Akin was moved to turn away from the big-budget Swedish TV productions he has made a name directing, in order to connect back to his roots for this project. But And Then We Danced isn’t solely a political commentary—it moves and feels freely.

Akin’s film gives audiences a long-overdue education on traditions far outside Hollywood: we see the rigid rules of Georgian dance, the way a body is taught to bend and extend and survive, and how spontaneous feelings have no place in that education.

If the film, told from such a unique perspective, also feels somehow familiar, it’s because Akin, who wrote, directed and co-edited, is a magnanimous cinephile. He’s been watching and understanding love stories since he can remember, and speaks of them with immense enthusiasm. There are years of wisdom and observation in the details of And Then We Danced. Every time I admit to him I haven’t seen a film he mentions, he looks sincerely happy for me that my world is yet to experience it.

Answering our Life in Film questionnaire, Akin shares memories of ABBA as a national treasure, the first film that blew him away in cinemas as a child, and why Tarkovsky could have done with being a little more queer.

This is quite a departure from the scale of your television projects. What drew you back to Georgia and those difficult circumstances? Levan Akin: I come from a background of making bigger projects, and this wasn’t obviously what a person like me should be doing next. I did a lot of Swedish TV, but I had grown tired of working the way I did. I started working for [Swedish film and commercial director] Roy Andersson when I was 22 and then I went into TV—I never went to film school. I applied twice and I didn’t get in! I was brought up in the SVT [Swedish public broadcasting service] way of making TV series. You have a script, you break it down, sometimes you write it yourself, sometimes you don’t, you do the shot list, you work with the actors, you block the scene and you move on and that’s all fine and good.

But after my previous film I was very tired. I was 36 then, and had sort of forgotten why I was making films. I had seen this Pride parade, the one where they were attacked in Georgia in 2013, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I went to Georgia and did some research with my own little camera, and it very organically developed into this film. I never sat down and thought I’d write a story about this dancer. I used what happened around me, and I found a lot of real people. We often weren’t allowed to film in places a lot of the time—we made up stories about what we were doing. We had to have bodyguards, we’d lose locations on a day’s notice. It was insane, so I couldn’t plan out the movie like I would normally.

I wanted to make a very classical story, a very universal story and have the motor be [Merab’s] first love for Irakli and that setting him free. And then I filled it with things that happened while I was working. I’ve never worked like that, but I think it’s the best film I’ve made, and it’s really been a rejuvenation of my creative energy. Someone told me, “You are one person when you make the film, another when it’s over”. And that’s really the case with this film, it’s changed me fundamentally.

One character in And Then We Danced says, “Georgian dance is based on masculinity”. What are the defining traits of masculinity in Georgia? The definition of masculinity is so different in different cultures. In Sweden, where I live, if two men just hug too much or walk arm in arm, it’s considered super un-masculine. It’s like the whole thing about how young boys fight each other because that’s the only way they can be close in Western society. Whereas in Georgia, you can sit in someone’s lap and it’s not considered gay or un-masculine. Over there, traits like being very poetic, being a dancer, being a good singer, things that might be feminine in our culture are considered very masculine.

I thought that was interesting for the film because the regular story might have been, “I want to be a dancer but my family doesn’t want me to because it’s considered to be a feminine job”. Whereas here it’s the opposite, it’s, “I am a dancer, and I can’t be gay”.

Why was it important to use dance as a narrative vehicle to show these changing identities? What they say in the film is that Georgian dance has evolved. It’s based on old folk dances from different regions of the Caucasus, other Caucasian countries too, as well as Georgia. The dances from Batumi have a lot of oriental influences, originally even more than now. And the Kintouri dance was originally created by a queer group of people who lived in Georgia 100 years ago, and they were people working in service jobs.

Men wouldn’t take those jobs because it was considered unmanly, so the ones who worked in those jobs were gay guys or queer, some were even trans. They developed this dance and it’s sort of like a Paris Is Burning. Everybody knew they were gay. That’s what the teacher says in the film, when he says “they were softer but we made them harder”, because then these dances were appropriated by three big ensembles, and they did alterations to them.

Levan Gelbakhiani in ‘And Then We Danced’.

How did that influence the message you ultimately wanted to share? The film is about finding your own place in a traditional society, and not letting anyone tell you what your traditions ought to be, or how you ought to define yourself, to be accepted as a Georgian. That discourse is all around us now. I’m really frankly tired of people telling me that, for instance, I’m not really Swedish because my parents came from Georgia, and I have a Muslim background. Also, Georgia is 90 percent predominantly Christian Orthodox now, so a lot of Georgians think you can’t be Georgian if you’re not a Christian.

There are two major contemporary music cues in the film—ABBA’s ‘Take A Chance on Me’ and Robyn’s ‘Honey’. How did those two come to be? During the Soviet Union, there was an ABBA concert on TV and I think that was one of the only one Western pop concerts that was broadcast in Soviet. I think it had to do with Sweden being social democratic, and we had sort of a good relationship with the Soviet Union so they thought, “Ok, we can show this, at least it’s not American”. It would be on every New Year’s Eve and it would be like a tradition.

So when the Soviet Union fell, ABBA had a new market with new people who also loved ABBA. So ABBA is actually very popular in Georgia! Of course ABBA is super-expensive to [license], and we had literally no money when we made this film—it was a very hard shoot. But one of the producers of the film is the son of Benny Andersson of ABBA… I figured if he likes the film, for them it’s not a big risk. I thought, I’ll try it in the rough cut and either he’ll like it and say yes or he won’t—but he loved the movie, he was crying afterwards.

Levan Akin.

I’d also taken a risk with Robyn because that album had just come out, and we all love Robyn. We just hoped she’d like it and accept it, because we couldn’t pay her very much. Thankfully she did, and also we actually got help from Jen Malone. She’s a music supervisor and she’s so talented, and she’s the one who does the music supervision for [bands including] Euphoria, Creed and so on, so once she also got in touch she made it work for us. I’m eternally grateful to Jen.

[The following answers contain spoilers for several of the movies mentioned by Akin.]

And Then We Danced has many beautiful dance sequences. Which specific dance scenes, or dance movies broadly, inspire you? I love The Umbrellas of Cherbourg as a whole, and it has dancing in it, so that’s an easy one. In Dirty Dancing, I love the last dance, I can watch it over and over. It’s an amazing scene in every way. I also love the scene in Ex Machina where [Oscar Isaac] is dancing. It’s so nice, and so sexy.

I don’t know if there was dancing in it but I really want to mention this film—I love The Diary of A Teenage Girl. Marielle Heller is a genius. And Bel Powley and Alexander Skarsgård, they’re just so good in those parts. He was incredible! That should have won all the Oscars. In my films I never have clear antagonists, even if there are characters antagonizing the main character. I love them all, there’s no clear moral compass, everyone is just trying to do their best with the circumstances. It’s the same with this film. I love that you understand and love Alexander Skarsgård, and the guilt Minnie must have been feeling. It’s just so sensitively directed, with such a precise feeling of how to not veer in any one direction. If anyone is just shaking somewhere in that film, let’s put it in this ranking!

There’s this amazing documentary made by a Swedish documentarian, Martha & Niki. It’s about two friends who are dancers, two black girls from Sweden. Their friendship is really complicated, and they’re competing in a special dance, and you just follow them as they’re touring and competing. One of the girls is from Uganda, if I remember correctly, and another one is adopted, so they also have very different social backgrounds. I saw it in cinemas and I was just sitting and crying.

Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in Bound (1996).

What are your favorite on-screen gay love stories? Brokeback Mountain. I saw that movie in New York in 2005 and I was so shocked. I just thought, “What the fuck have I just been through”? The ending… Nowadays, I would never want to kill off a character in a gay movie, but then, it’s so vague that you don’t even know what happens to them. It breaks my heart, it still does.

I really enjoyed God’s Own Country. I thought it was really moving and touching. Josh O’Connor is a revelation, and the other guy [Alec Secareanu] is amazing too. They have great chemistry. It’s just so delicately made.

I also love the Wachowski sisters’ Bound. I remember when I saw it, oh my god. Back then, seeing that was really something. I love Jennifer Tilly, what a star!

In terms of a movie that gay communities really love: Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. I’ve seen it literally a thousand times, I just rewind it and watch it again. It’s so amazing. When we were younger, 50 percent of the lines we would say would be lines from that film. It’s hilarious. It’s such a great story about friendship. If you haven’t seen it, congratulations, you have so much to look forward to!

And how did I almost forget My Own Private Idaho?! I saw that as a kid in the 90s, and it’s just so amazing. River Phoenix. What a movie.

Could you give the Letterboxd community a primer to some great Georgian films? I love My Happy Family, a film by Simon Groß and Nana Ekvtimishvili. They’re a directing couple. They did another film called In Bloom; about a teenage girl, it’s sort of autobiographical I can imagine, as it feels very lived. It’s about a Georgian girl in the 90s. Both films were at Sundance—My Happy Family was there three years ago and I think it won an award. [It was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize, and was Georgia’s entry for the 2013 best foreign language Academy Award]. Netflix bought it, so it’s on there now.

My Happy Family (2017).

It really shows this thing in Georgia where there is no private sphere. Families live together inter-generationally for life for many reasons—financial ones for sure. It’s the story of this woman who lives with her mother, her father, her children, everybody is in that house. She decides that one day she wants to move into her own apartment, and it’s the most shocking thing anyone has ever heard of. She says she just wants to sit alone and read books and have her own space, and everyone is so provoked by that because that can’t happen in Georgia.

There’s another Georgian film I love called Street Days, by Levan Koguashvili, which came out in 2010. It was one of the first new-generation movies in Georgia showing the reality of Georgia the way it was then. It’s the story of a man who is struggling to support his family, but he’s also a drug addict. It sounds really bleak but it’s made with such dark humor.

To go really far back to the directors working through the Soviet time, there’s The Wishing Tree by Tengiz Abuladze. So many shots from that film are so, so beautiful. It’s set in the rural parts of Georgia, and it’s about a young girl who falls in love with a boy, but they can’t be married because she has to marry an older person because it’s better for the family. And the boy she was in love with was killed by the husband. She goes insane, because she keeps thinking about it all the time; she’s talking to his ghost. This old woman in the village hears her and thinks she’s cheating on her husband, so they decide to do this ritual where they stone her. It��s so sad and so beautiful, and there’s a woman in the village who’s like the town fool but she’s the only one making sense. It’s so poetic.

Sergei Parajanov is another of my all-time favorite directors—I love The Color of Pomegranates and Ashik Kerib. He’s a great surrealist director and has inspired many directors since, such as Tarsem Singh and Mark Romanek, who did a lot of music videos in the 90s. Madonna’s video for ‘Bedtime Stories’ was really inspired by Parajanov. He worked a lot with tableaux, and it’s so queer. [Parajanov] was gay and he was imprisoned for it many times. He was very close friends with [Andrei] Tarkovsky and he attributes his artistry to being inspired by him, saying that Tarkovsky released his creativity. They were close, but they’d also fight a lot. One time Parajanov told Tarkovsky, “You can never be as amazing a director as me, because you’re not a homosexual”, which is funny!

Finally, what was the film first made you want to be a filmmaker? I love that question. It feels like I’m closing a circle because I think the movie I’m thinking of has some similarities with my movie. It’s Some Kind of Wonderful, [written] by John Hughes and directed by Howard Deutch. It’s not one of the most famous John Hughes movies but it’s one of the first ones I saw in the cinema. I think I was seven years old, I went with my older sister who was eleven at the time.

Mary Stuart Masterson and Eric Stoltz in ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ (1987).

It’s a love triangle between Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson and Lea Thompson. Stoltz plays this working-class kid, he lives on the wrong side of the tracks, the classic perspective that’s always in John Hughes movies. He’s in love with the popular girl in school, Amanda Jones. She is also from his part of the town but is dating the rich guys. He’s really in love with her, and his best friend is played by Masterson, she’s called Watts but her nickname is Drummer Girl, and she’s a tomboy. When I was little I thought she was a boy who was a gay character. I didn’t understand that she was a girl because I’d never seen a girl like that as a kid. It’s just a great movie, it was a love triangle before love triangles were boring. I don’t know if it consciously made me want to direct films, but it was the first film that I saw that that stuck with me.

We didn’t have a lot of movie culture in my house, my parents emigrated to Sweden in the late 60s. My father read a lot, but we didn’t come from any culture. The films I’d find were the ones you could rent in the local store. Mostly American movies. The more highbrow stuff came later when I was older and could search them out myself.

‘And Then We Danced’ premiered in Director’s Fortnight in Cannes last May, and has won several prizes at other prestigious festivals since. The film is currently showing in select cinemas on the east and west coasts of America, and opens in UK cinemas on March 13.

#levan akin #and then we danced #dance films #dance movies #georgia #georgian cinema #tibilisi #lgbt #queer cinema #gay cinema #gay filmmaker #swedish film #swedish cinema #ella kemp #dirty dancing #letterboxd

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kny111 · 5 years ago

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From respected leaders like NCAI Chair, Brian Cladoosby, to just about every Native high school or collegiate valedictorian giving a graduation speech, someone you encounter today will likely invoke this ubiquitous phrase.

Just who are the Seven Generations and how do we show proper respect for them? And what does this concept have to do with our modern nations, particularly, for the seventy Native governments that have cut individuals or entire families from their citizenship rolls? After more than twenty years of following this trend, it is clear that much can be learned from nations that respect their ancestors, themselves, and those to come. Such nations exemplify the true meaning of the Seven Generations by maintaining their integrity as peoples.

Vine Deloria, Jr. spoke of the Seven Generations in very practical terms. In his cantankerous way, he would express extreme annoyance at the romanticism of the concept as it was popularly used. Because, as explained to him, the generations we are sworn to protect and revere are the seven we are most immediately connected to.

Think about it for a moment. It is possible that many of us have known or will know our great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Even if we aren’t fortunate enough to have been in the physical presence of those who came before us, we usually have stories, songs, and photos that have been shared so that we feel a connection. We also want to make sure our kids and grandkids are healthy, safe and aware of where they come from. So, counting our own generation—ourselves, siblings, and cousins—we are accountable to those seven generations, not some imagined futuristic peoples two hundred years down the road.

Deloria’s articulation of the Seven Generations makes so much more sense on a human scale and does away with the destructive myth of mystical, all seeing Natives. In truth, our peoples were visionary but not in a passive, new-age way. We actively tended our families and our clan-ties by holding the lives, memories, and hopes of all Seven Generations close. Each generation was responsible to teach, learn, and protect the three generations that had come before it, its own, and the next three. In this way, we maintained our communities for millennia.

Consider what happens when we think of the Seven Generations as only flowing from each of us as individuals, as seems to be the dominant interpretation today. Then we live in a world where we owe nothing to our predecessors, where we have only a tangential connection to our present-day relations, and where we have but a vague notion of the “future generations.”

We all know the dangers in this kind of thinking. When tribal leaders focus only on themselves and what it takes for them as individuals to succeed, then we have the basis for the surge of disenrollments we witness every day, where both the living and the dead are cast out and hope for the future is deeply compromised.

These disenrollments occur for a number of reasons. Some, such as fraudulent enrollment, dual membership, or failure to maintain contact with the home community are arguably legitimate; others, however, are fundamentally tainted and bear the mark of rank injustice—political power plays, economic greed, and pseudo-scientific arguments about insufficient blood quantum, among others.

And while the number of unjustified disenrollments continues to plague Indian Country, a small but determined and diverse chorus of individuals, organizations, and even a few Native nations (Spokane most recently), are raising substantive challenges to the egregious practice of dismembering otherwise legitimate citizens. It raises hope for those that have already been terminated and gives succor to those who face imminent dismemberment.

We have to keep in mind that nearly 500 of the currently recognized Native nations are not engaged in these acts of suicidal sovereignty. It behooves us, then, to ascertain what it is within those communities that has precluded them from cannibalizing their own kin. All nations have struggled mightily with the core question of who is entitled to clanship, citizenship, or membership. We are left with the legacy created by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and other federal agencies and departments as they imposed regulations and policies designed to reduce the number of Native citizens deemed “eligible” for federal or even treaty-based benefits.

Yet, despite the five centuries of colonial intrusions and the subsequent devastation that ensued, the large majority of Native nations seldom acted, prior to the modern era, to forcibly terminate otherwise bonafide relatives. Even now the dismemberment process is being engaged in by less than 12% of Native governments. Seventh Generation thinking appears relevant in precluding the vast majority of Indigenous peoples from disenfranchising their fellow citizens when they are otherwise lawfully enrolled.

Deron Marquez, former chair of the San Manuel Band of Serrano Indians in Southern California, points to the small population size of his community (a little over 200 members) as a key to their community health and membership stability. He believes that this simple fact is conducive to political and social cohesion as citizens are keenly familiar with one another and behave with a measure of respect based on a sense of kinship.

He also emphasizes the importance of San Manuel’s governing structure: a general council arrangement, whereby the membership adopts ordinances and sets policy for the Nation. This means that the people control the tribe’s officers so that no one person or small group can claim substantive authority. The entire community gathers monthly to discuss and guide the community’s affairs, providing every member an opportunity to raise questions, express concerns, or discuss grievances in a way that forestalls lingering resentments and retaliation. San Manuel citizens continuously respect and tend their familial bonds with one another.

For 38 years, W. Ron Allen, has served as the Chair and CEO of the Jamestown Band of S’Klallam, a small Washington state people. He exemplifies the role that dedicated and long-serving tribal leaders can play in facilitating a stronger dose of community cohesion and respect for the sovereignty of the people. Such leaders, by the dint of their character and length of time in office, provide stability and a frame of reference for community members and outside agents alike

Allen emphasizes that his small nation (around 600) also has in place a clearly articulated legal and political infrastructure. Their accompanying governing documents, including a constitution, provide due process safeguards for everyone and guide both policy makers and the people. The Jamestown Band of S’Klallam thus remembers their origins and pass the knowledge forward.

Finally, Ron Haven, a respected tribal attorney for the Dine Nation, our largest Native nation—nearly 300,000 strong—suggests that shared cultural values provide a principled foundation that, while not preventing conflict, seems to enable the Dine, an ever increasingly diverse people, to get along without resorting to the termination of political rights of fellow citizens.

Our conversation reminded me of an excellent book by Raymond Austin (Dine), a former Navajo Supreme Court justice, who analyzed how the Dine courts have sought to apply traditional values, especially theses—k’e (kinship through positive values), hozho (harmony, balance, and peace), and k’ei (the Dine clan system)—to deal with contemporary legal, political, and cultural conflicts.

Austin emphasized that Dine philosophy views the three central values as interrelated, and one of the goals of his book was to encourage other Native peoples to employ “their own cultural norms, values, and traditional institutions” to address current challenges. These values are a guide to tending the Seven Generations.

These are just three examples from three very different Native nations that highlight a few variables—demographics, committed and qualified leadership, community established legal and political institutions and procedures, and philosophical principles—that appear, at least for these nations to produce a degree of social cohesion that helps maintain membership stability.

Of course, we can easily find contrary example of small tribal nations that are disenrolling; nations with long-tenured leaders who wield virtually autocratic powers, including the power to terminate their fellow citizens; and nations where those who call themselves “traditional” sometimes exercise a harsh, almost fundamentalist, cultural code that can sometimes lead to the dismemberment of those viewed as too progressive or lacking sufficient blood quantum.

#seventh generation #native american #native american culture #tradition #conflict #goals #indigenousness

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redwoodrroad · 5 years ago

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arkus’s birthday and some background info on him

SO ive been very busy with work these past two weeks AND sick with several things SO NOW TO MAKE UP FOR MISSING ARKUS’S BIRTHDAY (WHICH WAS ON JANUARY 3RD), im gonna talk about his research

here he is hard at work in his favorite part of the Priory: the ~secret~ library

everything else is under the cut because there’s a lot of science babble, but i do hope it’s fun to read if youre into science as much as i am. i also included some sylvari-centric stuff at the end because it’s specific to arkus

so simply put: Arkus’s concentration is on a mixture among anthropology (not just human-centered either), archaeology, and geology. separately, these sciences are completely different and require different skill sets, mindsets, tools, and research tactics, but these sciences also intersect in many ways and tell a fuller and more comprehensive story when put together. consider a nomadic culture that subsists on farming and animal products: they make clear boundaries in the land between where you sleep, where you eat, where you grow the food, where you cook the food, where you prepare animal parts either for consumption in one area or the creation of materials or clothing, ETC, my point is that this group needs a specific type of landscape to settle--that type of landscape needs to be sheltered enough from weathering and predators while also close to a water source, and the land itself must contain the right nutrients to grow crops; furthermore, the general landscape must be well-liked by large animals that are high enough in quantity that the group can sustain themselves on these animals and not risk endangering the population. the geology of the earth itself, the makeup of the land, is vastly important to this culture because it deigns where they can live and how they can survive in that area

of course, when they move away, they leave behind an imprint in the land itself--these cultures are not the type to necessarily bury their dead for fear of leaving them behind, but that’s also an extrapolation on my part so i cant definitively say that, but theyre also not necessarily the type to waste or throw away animal parts--so this group might not necessarily leave the obvious archeological choice of bones behind, but bones are not the only types of fossils that exist, and they certainly arent the main focus of archaeologists on digs: archeologists are looking for everything in an area--remains of encampments, clothing, pottery, tools, etc. these are the things a nomadic group might leave behind if theyre broken or unusable or perhaps if a disaster struck, and great swaths of belongings had to be left behind. lots of things are left behind when a group like this moves away--furthermore, evidence of a large group living in a place for what we can assume is several years to decades can almost always be found in each of those locations for a culture that is nomadic. archaeologists look for that evidence, and it’s the sort of thing they can follow like a map to see the direction in which this group moved

of course, the culture of that group itself is very important and just as fascinating as the prior fields of research: consider whether this group in my example might have a hierarchy--are elders the leaders of the group? is there a matriarch or a patriarch? how are children raised, and are they raised in a manner that separates them by gender, combined with the types of work or activities these genders are expected to perform? i read about a culture where the women did the foraging and held baskets at all times, and the men did the hunting and held bows and arrows at all times, but before this makes you mad and think that this culture might have been very strict on their gender conforming, the only gender “marker” in this society was that of the baskets or the bows. regardless of sex or gender at birth--concepts this culture had no definition of beyond the gendered tasks--if you wanted to hold a basket, you are a woman; if you wanted to hold a bow, you are a man. and you’re held to that standard until you decide you want to change that. there are also cultures ive read about where food is very closely linked with the cycle of life--there are some foods you eat when you are young, there are some foods you eat when someone is pregnant, and there are items to eat when someone dies, and everything has a very specific meaning assigned to it along with when and how those items are consumed.

all of these fields coalesce in different ways, and my passion for it is also Arkus’s. i imagine he goes out several times a year to conduct field research--something that is also very particular, and no two people do field research the same way, especially when it comes to soft sciences. i will also say that Arkus’s preferred style of research is one that has a little bit of discourse in the science community, and that is that he lets himself get involved with the culture.

in the soft science world, there are two pretty big styles: Positivism and Antipositivism (also called Interpretivism but ive definitely heard it called naturalism too). positivism is clean-cut--it’s objective and empirical scientific Fact. we’re talking quantitative data analysis, objective reasoning and observation (observation ONLY), and a clear separation between Scientist and Subject.

antipositivism is the opposite--it’s not all data points and “objective” observation because to observe a culture without being part of it is not objective at all. you’re not learning about the culture if youre just watching it; you’re watching this culture from an outsider’s perspective, and from an outsider’s perspective with a completely different cultural background in mind, you will not understand the significance to any cultural action in front of you. in this way, the scientist is not separating themselves from the “subject(s);” rather, the outsider is interacting with and empathizing with the insiders. it’s a completely different mindset and one that yields results that almost cannot be measured on data points or spreadsheets.

(if you cant tell, i am an antipositivist lol)

Arkus is an antipositivist: he finds positivist thinking to be too clinical and perhaps inappropriate for his research purposes. that said, he goes out and locates groups like the vague culture i described above, and he learns about them through empathic interaction and openness. he doesnt always publish his work, but he does always ask his participants if they would like to be participants, and if not, then he helps them if they would like the interaction or leaves if they would prefer he not stick around. and that’s okay too! what he does publish is always very lengthy and involves detailed diagrams of rock formations, tools, structures, the landscape, etc, and if he’s in a position to do a dig, he may take samples of the landscape back to the Priory for further testing, especially when it comes to carbon dating or whatever the tyrian equivalent might be (the lifeforms are PROBABLY carbon based on tyria but you never know lol). at this point in the story, Arkus has been doing research for several years now--i haven’t decided when he becomes an archon, but it’s certainly his biggest career goal overall. i think it’s probably tough though because archons typically oversee really dangerous magics and sciences, so one of these days, Arkus will find a way to present his work as especially useful for that specific realm of study

i also think that with arkus’s background in a culture that is largely mysterious to other cultures is also part of why arkus has his passion for his work. to learn and discover things about culture while being simultaneously respectful and open to differences is very important to arkus, and it’s something that his culture has a particular closeness with given their history with--for EXAMPLE--the asura. no tea no shade but arkus isnt trying to be that type of way--but they also changed and got better over time; now arkus just has beef with the inquest because their research style and scientific process is the exact opposite of how arkus wants to be

i should also say--and i havent really seen really problematic evidence of this in the game--that research organizations such as the durmand priory have a tendency to be sorta...... grabby with their research. like there’s a big scientific attitude towards discovery in the modern world where the scientist(s) who discovered something feel Entitled to that discovery. it’s very western and ethnocentric, and it’s Bad. western scientists discovering x y z historic item that is important to an overseas culture’s history does not belong in a western museum or lab, i dont make the rules! unfortunately, the western scientists make the rules so like thems the brakes but let the record show i hate that

arkus is very aware of this scientific tendency to want to hold on to discoveries and sort of keep them close--safe even, in priory custody--but he also recognizes that it’s wrong to do that, so he specifically finds ways to work around that so the culture in mind gets to keep their history. sharing history and culture is really good and healthy for all cultures, but ONLY if that sharing isn’t forced or pressured onto the culture in question. arkus lives by that rule!

anyway, this was obviously just a way for me to gush about science under the guise of my character’s belated birthday, but i hope it was informative! i had fun with it ;u; and i’ll start drawing my characters again too dhfgadjfhg soon i hope

thank you for reading!

#guild wars 2 #sylvari #redwoods words #arkus tag

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spacemantango · 6 years ago

Text

X6-88 is not pure evil, boring or one-dimensional.

I see a lot of people talking shit about X6-88. Unlike most other "bad karma" male characters or male characters with questionable actions in Fallout 4 (Pickman, Maxson, DiMA, Kellogg, Danse, etc.) X6-88 is almost universally hated. I get that he doesn't have as much characterization as characters like Nick Valentine or Preston Garvey and I agree with the opinion that X6-88 says some pretty awful things:

(At Abernathy Farm) "If your daughter was that stupid, she got what she deserved."

"We should kill him later and take back the caps. We might need them for more bribes."

However, you have to consider the environment in which X6-88 was "raised". Coursers go through rigorous training and are carefully selected based on their traits. X6 was once your average Institute synth who was selected to become a courser. Synths don't have childhoods and are born full grown (with the exception of child synths, obviously) but they still "grow up" and spend their early years being shaped and formed by the Institute and it's culture. There is no room for dissent or questioning when it comes to synths. They are constantly monitored for signs of disloyalty and disobedience. The Institute has a vested interest in essentially brainwashing their synths. Walk around the Institute and you can hear other synths besides X6-88 saying all kinds of recited propaganda. X6-88 does the same.

He must have shown that he was loyal to the Institute. We can see his admiration for the Institute in his dialogue:

"Greed and materialism don't exist in the Institute."

"The future of mankind has never looked brighter. It makes me proud to serve."

"Now that you've seen the Institute, you've seen the future of mankind."

(If you destroy the Institute) "You haven't just destroyed your son's legacy, you've destroyed all hope for mankind."

"It's clear you want what's best for the Institute, and that's all that matters to me."

He really believes in the Institute's cause and propaganda. All he knows about the above-ground comes from the perspective of the Institute, which explains his disdain for the Commonwealth. The Institute needs their people to believe that the surface is awful so they think the Institute is humanity's only hope and that their methods are excusable. X6-88 has spent his entire life being told that the surface is awful, they are lesser than those in the Institute and that they are ruthless barbarians. Is it any surprise that he looks down on them?

I also want to argue against the idea that X6 is a one-dimensional character with no personality. He has good and bad traits, like any other character. I would argue that he has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor, is fiercely loyal, dedicated to his duty and stands by his principles (even if those morals are questionable).

He also shows himself to be a loyal person in general. If you gain his affinity and help the Institute, he tells you that he believes in you and will stand by your side:

"I feel honored to know you and to fight at your side."

"Your son is a great man, and I'm starting to see some of that greatness in you, too."

"It's been my privilege to know you, ma'am. I think you'll do great things for the Institute."

"I'm glad you joined us, sir. It's clear to me that Father's legacy is in good hands."

"You've been an inspiration to me, ma'am. I'll work hard to follow your example."

"It's been an honor, sir."

And he is not "emotionless". He does have some moments of being expressive, such as when you visit your dead spouse's body:

"This was your spouse? My condolences."

(I want to make clear that saying X6 is "lacking empathy" or using his stoic personality as evidence that he doesn't have feelings is incredibly ableist and harmful. X6 lacks COMPASSION (not empathy) for certain people, but he isn't some unfeeling, heartless robot.)

He is so loyal to the Institute, that it informs his entire worldview and if you take that away from him, he is devastated and becomes angry. You've destroyed the only family, world and culture he's ever known:

"How do I feel? I feel like we should have let you rot in that cryopod."

He is also fiercely duty-driven:

"They're dedicated to their duty. As a Courser, I can respect that."

Lastly, let's remember that X6-88 believes that he is not a person, that he is lower than a human being. You know this from how he talks about synths:

(At Libertalia) "He's not a man, sir, he's a synth. A synth that's confused and dangerous."

However, I would argue that X6-88 isn't completely convinced. For example:

He calls Gabriel "it" when he's trying to insist that synths aren't people but calls Gabriel "him" at every other point. It's like he forgets to stick to the Institute propaganda. This is a small point though, and I don't know if there is enough evidence to prove it.

Is X6-88 perfect and virtuous? No. Do I like the Institute and it's beliefs, which he blindly follows? No. But that doesn't change the fact that he's a complex character with a tragic backstory. The game just doesn't point that out in big, bold words for you.

In other world, if he hadn't been raised by the Institute, X6-88's loyal, duty-driven, funny and principled traits could have been utilized to further less evil means. He was poisoned by the Institute from birth, given no other outside exposure or perspective until he was already fully indoctrinated as a courser. He doesn't see his victims as human and he doesn't see HIMSELF as human. Imagine what that must be like. Imagine seeing yourself as inherently dangerous, commodity to be owned and controlled and blindly following your master.

X6-88 is a tragic character. He doesn't get a redemption arc. He doesn't ever "get better" or learn to see himself and his people as anything other than property. No matter what you do, he will die believing the lies the Institute have fed him.

By all means, criticize how he was written or dislike the character for personal reasons, but don't write him off as a purely evil, one-dimensional cardboard cutout.

Remember that, following the themes of slavery and humanity (whether or not those themes were handled well is questionable but ultimately beside the point here), X6-88's life represents that which is all too real in a lot of ways.

I'm not saying we should pity him (don'tl or think he's the best companion or that his actions are excusable (double don't). I just wish people would afford him the same complexity as other characters.

Side note to other non-black people in the reblogs/replies to this post: do not use the term "Uncle Tom" or the language surrounding that term. I think these articles sum up why that term is problematic and shouldn't be used by you: Here. Here.

The usage of that term is contentious even among black people themselves so you have no place using it, especially if you don't really know what you're talking about.

Side Side Note: Comparing X6-88 to someone on the Autism spectrum is offensive. Please don't do that. Obviously, we a-spec people can headcanon X6 however we want in that regard, but all those not on the spectrum: please don't.

Side Side SIDE Note: If you're here to argue that synths aren't people or the Institute is right to do what they do to synths, just move on to another post or make your own. I don't want that on my post please. That is not even close to the point.

Oh god another side note: Don't use mental illness language to describe X6-88 either. This isn't a Shane Dawson video, we don't need you ignorantly calling everyone sociopaths, psychopaths, etc. Just don't.

#long post #x6 88 #x688 #fallout 4 #fo4 #x6-88 #fallout

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