#shove it in my inbox and I’ll try my very best to make one that fits it <3

[therighthandofvengeance]

obligatory John Sheridan-is-a-simp moodboard post, anyone?

“The sky takes on shades of orange during sunrise and sunset, the color that gives you hope that the sun will set only to rise again.” - Ram Charan

[altschmerzes]

Anon from earlier here — please feel free to ignore this because it is so ridiculously long and self indulgent that I feel the need to apologise for even putting it in your inbox at all.

Perhaps similarly to you, I’m sort of toe-deep in the Ted Lasso fandom. I’m far too obsessive about the show and the characters to be considered a casual viewer, but completely lacking the emotional capacity to fully absorb myself into a new space. I think this is why I’m so protective of the characters, specifically Jamie, because there’s so much of his arc and backstory that I can relate to, and I’m SO sensitive to the way abuse is portrayed in shows, because it’s rarely done well (from what I’ve seen personally).

The Same Story was one of the first fics I read about Ted Lasso because I wanted read more about Jamie specifically, and I CANNOT tell you how excited I was when I found it. It does (along with your other writing) exactly what the show doesn’t for me. I think the show is the best example of an abused character I’ve seen, but it can’t be perfect, and I found everything I was looking for in your writing. I genuinely can’t thank you enough for that, because it’s been very…. healing ? might be the word ? to read. It’s just done so beautifully and realistically ugh. You’re a really special author.

Going back to the whole Roy thing (who is another favourite character of mine) I think my main issue is the regression as well. Like, yes, first season Roy would ABSOLUTELY charge toward Jamie. Except now we’ve come to understand Roy as a deeply caring, sensitive, protective and anxious person. I don’t think Roy would EVER be violent toward Jamie again after knowing what he knows now, and if he did, he would apologise (or try to, at least.) Maybe we get that in a later episode, I’m not sure.

What’s painful for me about 2.08 is that there was this beautiful, incredible scene that was everything I have ever wanted from an abuse storyline, I could hardly believe what I was watching, and then just…. Nothing. Literally no after effects. Which was ??? Very disorienting ??? Not even a “hey, just checking in man” from one of Jamie’s teammates, a reluctant nod of acknowledgment from Roy, an extra pat on the back from Ted, just… Nothing ??? I absolutely love the show, wouldn’t want to mess with it at all, but this threw me. I’m aware that it is also written for a general audience and not specially for me, a shamelessly demanding and traumatised person, (how dare they!) but yeah, I have a lot of Thoughts on that one.

I’ll self-indulgently attempt to express what I think would be a far more in character interaction between these two post Man City — let’s use the locker room scene in 3.02 as an example:

I don’t think Roy wouldn’t NOT get an instinct to shove Jamie away, because he’s far from perfect — which like you say, makes him far more interesting. I think that Jamie would try and hug him, Roy would make to shove him off, and then stop himself with a Roy Grunt and step away. I think Jamie — being as emotionally intuitive as he is — would pick up on this immediately. Perhaps Jamie would become defensive of this, asking Roy if he’s too afraid to shove him how. He’s not going to break. And I think Roy would probably respond with something along the lines of, “Of course I want to shove you. We’re both pricks. But I’m trying not to be.”

This is of course “along the lines of” as it’s rubbish, hastily put together dialogue, but hopefully you get the idea. Also this is all subjective and I could be completely wrong about Roy and Jamie and Everyone and blah blah blah but yeah. It’s not a perfect response from Roy by any means, but it’s also not a violent one. After all Roy’s growth, I just don’t think he’d ever regress to violence around Jamie ever again — or at least he’d try his best not to.

I have a thousand more thoughts on all of this but I’ll restrain myself here. I’ve sent one or two asks before (you’re actually the only person I’ve interacted with who is interested in Ted Lasso) and I must say it’s been such a delight to get a response. As a fellow aromantic / survivor (I’m always embarrassed to use that word) of abuse, it’s really really lovely to have these little mini discussions with you. I love love love hearing what you have to say. If I ever send an ask again, perhaps I could use a letter to sign off with so you know it’s that person who won’t shut up in your inbox again (I’m too much of a frightened deer to come off of anon just yet). At the same time, if you want to tell me to kindly fuck off, I’d completely get it.

Thanks for making me feel like you’re writing just for me with your writing. I know that you’re not, but thanks anyway. It’s a really wild feeling to read something that feels so perfectly fine-tuned for my brain. I hope to god you’re already a published author.

Anyway, have a great day/night and I’m really truly sorry for the outrageous length of this silly little ask.

— L

no listen you don’t need to apologize at ALL this is so much exactly my feelings on a lot of things that i sat here physically nodding my head the whole time. i get it. Buddy I Get It, me of all people, I REALLY do.

i just tend not to have a good time in general fandom tags and whatnot overall, bad combination of brain ghosts and romance repulsion that just makes that a bad fit, and it just makes the friends i make via whatever means that much more of an absolute treasure to me. especially when, like with this show, it’s moved into my brain completely and taken over and that’s just What’s Going On in here and otherwise it’s a lot of me running in circles and climbing walls absksbsk.

and yeah same if there is One button that always always always trips me it’s “presentations of abuse and abuse victims/survivors in fiction,” im pretty hypersensitive about that. and like i get that it’s My Specific Priority and it’s not gonna be everyone’s or most people’s or whatever narrative it is on the whole but yknow! ill own my bias and i try not to be embarrassed for it. that’s a lot of why i write - the narratives have their own priorities and so do fandoms so im gonna take advantage of the opportunities i have to spend some time with mine.

im really, REALLY glad that my writing’s been meaningful for you! that’s honestly why i do it. because stories like the ones i write have been like, everything to me for a really long time, and a big driving force in getting myself to actually Allow Myself to write them is by going hey, maybe someone else needs to see this too. same story specifically was one i had to push myself to actually release into the world but im very very glad i did and im that much more bolstered to keep going both with it and whatever else there is in my back pocket after this <3

roy is a fantastic, fascinating character and a big part of why he gets my attention and i keep coming back to him is this interesting combination of being a very shut down, reserved person while also being HIGHLY critical of himself and afraid of negatively impacting the people around himself that he’s got influence on. i think about that conversation in the car with phoebe almost as much as the scene with jamie later in that episode when it comes to roy in 2x08. it just feels….. bizarrely static at best and regressive at worst.

i love this alternate version. that’s very fun, and way more in line what what i think roy’s progression to this point would more likely lead to. character interpretations are extremely variable and biased in a million directions but i personally think you’re right on the money and it’s a version of that story that im personally invested in exploring no question. (for what it’s worth, i think you’re gonna enjoy the episode tag im knee deep in writing.)

and yeah im on exactly the same page about 2x08. nobody has to agree with me or whatever but far as im concerned it just….. bizarre and jarring that there were literally no consequences or even blink and you’ll miss it follow up like you mentioned, some hey how’re you holding up, or. Anything. it’s like it didn’t happen, at least as far as jamie and people’s reaction to him is concerned, which is like…. again, this is me and my personal bias speaking but that was an ENORMOUSLY rattling event for everyone there, and just, any kind of recognition that it happened would’ve gone a long way to making that way less disorienting.

also- im so glad you’ve enjoyed my answers and i also apologize if ive missed any!! i am SO bad at remembering to answer things and my inbox gets glitchy sometimes so please please feel free to send something again if you don’t see an answer for a while. id love to hear from you again should you want to chat and the sign off letter is a great idea, i love knowing it’s the same person!!

and for the record, it IS for you. as much as it is for me. i joke around a lot that i write for aros and abuse survivors first and everyone else can read it too so. it is for you, specifically, and it really does mean everything for me to hear that my writing is making it to the people it’s meant for. im not a published author YET but hopefully someday! ive got quite a bit of original work hanging out on my computer and bouncing around in my head thatll ideally see the light of day eventually.

[prometheanglory]

helloooo it’s not quite new years get over here in america but i have some end of the year sentiments to get off of my chest before 2022 is up 🥸 this is rly long teehee

it’s been !! a really busy year!! oh my god i didn’t realize how little i posted until i saw my tumblr wrapped T_T honestly, at some point i wondered if it’d be for the best for me to formally announce a hiatus — some parts due to university and work, and other parts due to personal conflicts that made it difficult to feel confident or proud that i was creating.

it feels kinda weird missing vinh’s birthday for the first time in a while 😅 (granted, i drew something for it but i didn’t post it bc i didnt finish/i got nervous) .

moreover, it felt weird being so distant from twst and my own tumblr? admittedly i scared myself off from doing as much as i could this year, so i have less to physically show that i’m still around and i still care just as much as i did in 2019. it’s hard to do stuff that you like when ur in the constant process of shoving ur foot in ur mouth or feeling really self-conscious, or well. sometimes it’s just hard to not feel insecure about what you want to make and what you perceive other people expect from you?

i admit that i’m still trying to rebuild my foundations so that i can feel secure and proud of myself. it’s been a really, really long road to take but i have all of 2023 and more to orient myself. i’ve been trying to get into new things and explore new ventures, and that has been… a very nerve-wracking process for someone who’s never done anything before (did you know how many emails and phonecalls i had to make to get anything done/set up just to take commissions….. i’ll tell u what, it’s definitely over 10)…

all in all, i just wanna get back on the horse _(:3 」∠)_ i’ve been a bit of a ghost, but i’m still here. i still wanna thank everyone who still pops in every now and then when i pop up every once in a while 😅 i really appreciate you guys hanging around and everything yall do, especially as a community. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a more vocal oc community before? it’s an environment that i appreciate more than anything and i don’t intend to let my gratitude go unspoken for. you guys are really sweet and supportive, and god, i can’t keep count on my fingers for the sheer quantity of amazing creators that i’ve seen here. i hope that with 2023, i get my hands on a better time management schedule so that i can properly give back into the community T_T

well anyway, i planned to do this many months back — here’s a list of random stuff i’ve been working on throughout 2021-2022 that i meant to announce but i never got around to but hopefully it’ll come trickling out in 2023 🤭

new dorm incoming, and a (pseudo) new dorm project

new ocs approaching :-) some canon, some fandorm

diversify my posts a little…….. cannot promise that i won’t still spam vinhs but i can try 🫡

organize blog a little more

stagrove uniform+chara revamp / sprites

oc design + sprite revamps (sarge / lola / imp twins / holly / edgar /xuehai are the ones i have on hand rn, but everyone’ll get their turn 🤓)

potential new vinh sprite (since the july one was just drawing over the old one 🤡)

stagrove episode is being gradually picked up again

i swear to god i’ll go through my inbox

get into merch production (charms/posters/stickers… u know the deal)

get through commissions faster and more frequently T_T

try to do a new style of commission…? (community votes on a subject/character/etc and when the goal is met, the art gets published for everyone to see or smth)

do a follower milestone celebration (potential giveaway?)

i swear to god i’ll get to that malleus daki design.

if malleus works out i prommy i’ll do leona daki too

oc personality or matchup quiz

more fun/detailed oc reference sheets

oc masterlist + oc profiles on toyhou.se

incoming comic project and more to come hopefully

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[donald4spiderman]

OKAYYY so for the angst request- reader is very paranoid and insecure from past relationships and needs a lot of validation and one day for some reason spencer is in a bad mood (maybe a bad case) and snaps on her and she’s like 😮🙁 and then spencer apologizes later on but she’s just like k lol!! or she can forgive him idk i just like this concept and love how you write angst

YES THIS IS MY KIND OF SHIT

sry this request took so long to do it guy buried in my inbox

TW: fighting uh oh, angst, unhappy ending

-

She’s been paranoid for a long time. Spencer Reid is the best boyfriend in the world, and for the past three months, everything between them has been effortless. But they’ve been dating for so long without some fuck up that she’s starting to anticipate something horrible soon.

Spencer knows about (Y/N)’s issues to a certain extent. She’s always been a guarded person, even before they started dating— always expecting the worse from people, never revealing anything personal, keeping everyone at a distance. This is her first steady relationship in four years, and she can’t help but be worried, even though Spencer’s given her no reason to be.

It’s three am, and she hears shuffling around her bedroom. She instinctively reaches over to wrap her arm around Spencer, but he’s not there.

She opens her eyes slightly to find that he’s slipping on a pair of pants and buttoning up his shirt.

“What’s going on?” She mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

“I have a case.” He states dryly, obviously irritated that Hotch called him in the middle of the night. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

“Oh.” She sighs, wide awake now. “Do you have any idea when you’ll be back?”

“No,” He scoffs. “That’s the thing about my job— I can’t just tell you exactly when we’ll catch a serial killer. It doesn’t work like that.”

Her usual tender and sweet boyfriend has turned into a snappy, on-edge jerk. They’ve never had an issue surrounding his hectic schedule. She’s always been completely accommodating. It’s strange to see him behave this way.

She’s never seen him like this before, it makes her skin crawl and her smile fade into a dim frown. “I never said it works like that. Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m being interrogated at three in the morning by someone who couldn’t possibly understand the complexity and spontaneity of my job? Although, I shouldn’t expect much from a middle-school teacher.”

“Spencer!” She exclaims, sick of his offensive rant. “All I asked is when you’ll be home. Aren’t I allowed to ask when my boyfriend will be home? You don’t have to insult me!”

“I’m not insulting you— you’re just dramatic, (Y/N). I’m tired and you’re trying to fight with me right now and I don’t have the time for it!”

Her hands grip at the air in frustration. “I’m not trying to fight. You’re the one snapping at me. I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend!”

“You’re sure doing a shit job at it.” Spencer bites, the severity of his words washing over him when he sees his girlfriend’s lower lip tremble. She never cries. At least, he’s never seen her cry. It’s a whole new thing for him, and now he feels like a piece of shit. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—“

“No.” She interrupts with the point of her finger, inhaling deeply and shoving her sadness deep down inside. “If that’s how you feel, then you are no longer welcome in my home, Spencer.”

“(Y/N), c’mon.” He pleads.

She shakes her head, “No. You don’t get to pretend to be all sad as if you didn’t just berate me for the better half of ten minutes because I asked when you’ll be back home. Well, luckily for you, this is no longer your home. You can go, Spencer. You’re not welcomed into my apartment or my heart if you think you can treat me like that.”

“Are you b-breaking up with me.” Spencer stammers, tears slipping from the whites of his eyes and down to his cheeks.

She nods, lips pursed. “I’ll pack your stuff up once you leave. I’ll drop it off at your place so you don’t have to force yourself to come back here.”

Spencer stands in shock for a solid minute before wordlessly waking out of the bedroom. She hears the jingle of his keys turning in the lock, and finally allows herself to breathe.

It’s so early. (Y/N)’s awake before the birds are, imagining how different things would’ve been if she stayed asleep long enough for him to leave.

[aenor-llelo]

Your c!techno c-ptsd post made me curious about your c-ptsd takes on c!phil if you’re willing to do a similar post about him!

Sure!

c!philza’s got A Number of interesting things trauma-wise to talk about just from his history on the server (wilbur’s death, the butcher army), and I’ll use the multiple phil asks in the inbox to cover it, but for now let’s pick one similar to my point about c!techno, since i think that’s what you’re looking for.

C!Philza’s behavior suggests he was already predisposed to traumatic responses in line with C-PTSD before he even joined the server.

(Note that in the case of phil and techno, i specifically say C-PTSD rather than PTSD. There’s a difference. PTSD is caused by one traumatic event (such as, for example, what phil went through on november 16). C-PTSD is caused by sustained and repeated trauma.)

Also, much like how CC!technoblade’s game habits have implications on C!techno, CC!ph1lza’s habits have their own on C!philza, and we keep that in mind.

now philza isn’t as “textbook” as techno’s more militaristic trauma responses but he still has some trauma-flavored patterns.

-self isolating. 

essentially, he acts under the assumption that he is alone, and others will treat him as alone. 

alot of his on-screen time is spent in isolation doing constant work, even in the wake of recent of ongoing events that directly concern him. he disappears into work to busy himself- and failing that, he’ll disappear altogether. after wilbur’s death, he canonically deliberately walked into a blizzard for a few days just to try and ground himself. 

he disappears for long stretches of time even after incredibly concerning events and makes no assumption other people would care about his whereabouts or wellbeing.

-altered response to harm and danger

as pragmatic as he is in terms of survival, he’s also relatively flippant about harming himself to achieve something he wants. he, without hesitation, broke his ankle monitor by shoving himself into magma. that is not something a person would consider an immediate option unless they were on some level already desensitized to harm or the prospect of self-harm.

-”inappropriate” emotional responses

trauma alters a person’s ability to respond to future stressful or traumatic events. this does not necessarily mean they respond more dramatically.

Towards most other characters, he gives little indication of emotional transparency or honesty until it explodes in dysfunctional verbal outbursts.

his most common outburst is laughter. philza laughs and smiles alot. even when clearly upset. even after saying incredibly upsetting things. this is of course due to CC!ph1lza just being Like That, but this translates in c!philza as someone who laughs as a nervous tic when experiencing high emotions in general.

he’s also shown incoherent outburst (screaming after wilbur’s death), as well as verbal snapping that comes “out of nowhere” from outsider perspective (”you’re dead to me” in response to “i still love you, grandpa” and the infamous “my first day on the server- i killed my son!”)

-disproportionate reaction to stress and grief, violent tendencies

externally he does not grieve at all, but his actions and comments imply he has a habit of being extremely violent to perceived threats. in general he’s very violent minded with the implication of it being due to having been desensitized to violence.

this guy compulsively culls mobs without necessity and was completely prepared to kill villagers for “looking at him funny” (read: perceived as threat).

even his conversation with sam about his immortality was an indirect threat on sam’s life over... being called an old man. (dwelling on his age and immortality appears to be a minor stressor for him, considering this moment and how uncomfortable fundy calling him “grandpa” makes him feel).

-dysfunctional attachment

he displays, for better or worse, little emotional responsibility to people, even to people he likes (such as tommy or ghostbur), but in turn he also acts on his own with no assumption of a support system. 

I’m not saying that he’s wrong for not acting the best to everyone, but i am saying that he seems to have difficulties forming attachment in the first place, even when he acts friendly- which has caused him to form non-reciprocating relationships (again, tommy and ghostbur, and possibly tubbo) where people are more attached than he is. he’s also, like techno, very sensitive to perceived betrayal, emotionally disengaging as soon as he’s been burned (see his relationship with fundy).

 And then with the people he does attach to. OH BOY.

Much like techno, this man is beyond ride or die for his extremely small in-group. the “fellow survivor” mentality i mentioned in my techno analysis  applies here as well. 

he associates techno’s survival and safety with his own, essentially feeling as good as safe so long as techno is, regardless of his actual current situation.

while techno’s most obvious indicator of attachment is through the sharing of resources, philza’s most obvious indicator is through acts and service. this man will protect his chosen “fellow survivor” to the bitter end, he will destroy entire nations and not even blink.

What unfinished symphonies have you seen come to ruin over eons, angel. what did you lose to survive it.

[mae-gi-writes]

Once Again (PT.3) | Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyu!)

ONCE AGAIN | PART THREE

Summary

Iwaizumi’s broken marriage results in his five-year-old son trying to match him up with his primary school teacher, whom he thinks will make a wonderful replacement for a mother. 

Genre: fluff, angst, f! Reader x dad! Iwaizumi

A/N: A little Iwa and Hoisuke sketch to accompany this chappie ❤ Thank you for all the love and support. My inbox has boomed since I last posted and I’m so grateful that it is being appreciated by y’all :,) <3 

ON TO PART THREE! Let me know what you guys think of this part :) xx

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART 

------

"Miss Y/N! You came!"

Hoisuke has a beam on his face the moment you step into the Iwaizumi household. That slightly calms your jittery nerves as you remove your shoes and step in, balancing the container of cookies in your hand.

"Hi Hoisuke," you greet back with a smile, "I brought your favourite cookies."

"Really?!"

"Really," you hand him the container with a grin, relishing as he oohs and aahs as he gets a whiff of the said baked treats. He beams up at you, "thanks miss Y/N. You're so cool."

"Not as cool as you are," you ruffle his hair and he giggles, before grabbing onto your hand and tugging you inside, "come, Daddy's warming up the pizza."

To be honest, part of you had combusted when you'd read over Iwaizumi's message repeatedly to make sure you weren't reading it wrong. The other part of you was screaming that this was definitely out of bounds and plus, could you consider this to be a sort of date?

No, of course not. Definitely not. He'd invited you over as a friend. And because Hoisuke liked you.

When you put it like that, it stung a little.

As Hoisuke drags you into the living space, you spot Iwaizumi grabbing for beers in the fridge and he nods at you, "hey."

"Hi," you reply, feeling a bit shy.

"The pizzas just got here," he says, chin jerking towards the pizza boxes already set upon the coffee table, surrounded by four plates, "a friend of mine is joining. I hope you don't mind."

"Oh no, not at all."

"Uncle Tooru! He's the best volleyball setter ever!" Hoisuke adds with a clap of his hands, eyes sparkling with excitement, "do you play volleyball miss Y/N?"

"Nope," you singsong, "I can't even catch a ball."

"But you always tell us to do well in PE."

"Do what I tell you and not--"

"Not what you do," Hoisuke sings along and you can't help but laugh before ruffling his hair fondly, "at least I know you're listening in class!"

"I always listen to you, miss Y/N."

"Unlike his father," Iwaizumi points out while walking over to the pair of you and handing you a beer can, "whom he never listens to."

"But you don't listen to me, daddy."

"Wha--yeah I do."

"Noooo uncle Tooru had to beg you to invite miss Y/N over when I told you a hundred times!"

You burst out into a fit of laughter just as Iwaizumi hollers out, "wha--No! That's--"

"Uncle Tooru said that you should man up and invite her otherwise he'll do it himself," his son chatters on, oblivious to the redness rising in his father's ears, "what does man up mean, miss Y/N?"

"Okay that's enough babbling," Iwaizumi's hand shoots out to press down onto Hoisuke's head. He nudges it towards the couch, "bring miss Y/N to the living room. Scoot."

"But--"

"Now." His father scowls. His son scowls back and you try to shove down the round of laughter bubbling up your throat, for they look like the spitting image of each other and they probably don't even know it.

You reach out, tugging Hoisuke by the shoulder, "come on then. What movie are we watching?"

It makes you slightly giddy on the inside to hear such words fall from Hoisuke's mouth. If there's one thing you've learnt from being around children is that they never lie. That, coupled with the way Iwaizumi's face has reddened a deep shade of tomato, is enough to cause a small tingling in your chest.

Since Oikawa is goig to be late, the three of you decide on watching Harry Potter -- Hoisuke's current obsession at the moment -- while munching on too-greasy pizza and washing it down with beer, coke for the minors. It's been a while since you've watched the series, thus finding yourself cheering and hollering along with Hoisuke which feels like you're seeing it for the first time all over again.

Multiple times, Hoisuke would turn and beam up at you, sometimes hugging your right arm and burying his face into your shoulder during action-packed scenes. You'd be lying to say you don't enjoy his warmth sticking to your side, sniffing the soft baby scent of his hair that still clings to him. The smell of childhood filled with innocence and maybe out of impulse, you pull him a little closer.

You're so immersed in the moment to notice the pair of coffee-coloured eyes are gazing at you with growing tenderness.

"Hellooo! Cool and Handsome Uncle Tooru is here!"

You jump at the sudden intruder's voice booming through the apartment, followed by Iwaizumi's scoff upon meeting your eyes. Hoisuke bounds up without delay, rushing to the door while crying out, "uncle Tooru!"

"Hi my beautiful boy!" Oikawa does not hesitate to sweep him up into his arms, kissing his cheek in affection and causing the child to giggle, "how's my favourite person doing? Has iwa-chan been treating you well?"

Hoisuke nods jovially, giggling some more when Oikawa pinches his cheek, "alright alright. You look dashing--oh, Iwa-chan! And this must be the famous Miss Y/N you've both been telling me about?"

You pink at his words but it doesn't faze Hoisuke in the least, "yeah! Isn't she pretty? She's the best teacher ever and her cookies are amazing!"

"H--Hi," you nod at Oikawa shyly, quickly avoiding his gaze to stop yourself from combusting with embarrassment. You've forgotten how beautiful this man actually is even though his reputation preceded him.

"Ahh it's nice to meet you Y/N," he flashes you a sweet smile, causing you to flush right down to your toes while you manage to stutter, "n--nice to meet you too, Oikawa-san."

"I see why Hoisuke and Iwa-chan like you," Oikawa turns to wink at Iwaizumi, "I approve!"

"Shut up Shittykawa," Iwaizumi scowls.

Oikawa gasps mockingly while covering Hoisuke's ears, "Iwa-chan! Not in front of the child and the lady!"

"I said fuck off--"

Oikawa's quick to slap his shoulder, hollering, "no swearing either! Oh gosh, excuse him Y/N. He gets very flamboyant whenever I'm around. If ever he does swear at you, it's just a matter of showing his affection."

You let out a laugh, spurred on by how red Iwaizumi's ears are, "I'll keep that in mind. I didn't know Hoisuke's dad was such a potty mouth," you say, narrowing your eyes playfully at the said man who scowls in return.

"Only when Oikawa's around," he states, crossing his arms over his chest with an expression that mimics his son's sulking.

"What's a potty mouth?" Hoisuke asks as he and Oikawa take their respective seats, the latter swiping a slice of pizza out of Iwaizumi's plate, who growls and kicks at his shin in turn.

The handsome man groans while you turn to Hoisuke, "potty mouth means someone who swears a lot."

"Like daddy?"

"Uhm--" you stutter, his response causing Oikawa to burst out laughing, "yes! What a bright little mind! Totally like your Uncle Tooru!"

Before Iwaizumi can bash Oikawa's head in, you hurriedly resume the movie with the excuse that the best part hasn't come up yet. That simmers down the atmosphere a little, all eyes now captivated by Harry Potter and his friends fighting against the ogre. Hoisuke gasps, nails digging into your arm as he latches on for dear life, all actions not going unnoticed by the pair of men.

"I like her," Oikawa mouths out to Iwaizumi, whose scowl deepens tenfold.

As per what the rumours stated, Oikawa is fun and easy-going to hang out with, a complete stark contrast to his best friend. You understand why people tend to gravitate towards him the more the evening wears on. It’s not just the fact that he puts you at ease and is naturally adept at making conversation, but it’s in the genuine spark of interest in his eyes, a look that says that he’s listening to you even if that might be faked on his part. It’s that expression stating that he cares, that makes you realize why Oikawa Tooru had been such a hotshot back in your high school days. 

So why do your eyes still manage to find their way to the brooding figure on the other side of the couch, who is filled with nothing but spiteful comments and sarcastic responses? 

Oikawa's little 'pssst' snaps your attention back to the present to find the sais man pointing at Hoisuke while mouthing "he's asleep." Indeed, your eyes travel down to Hoisuke's tiny figure slumped against your side and your mouth curves up in an affectionate smile.

You're about to shift him into your arms but Oikawa beats you to it, deftly slipping the boy into his arms and glancing between you and Iwaizumi with that same knowing smile that sets you on edge, "I'll tuck him to bed. Iwa-chan, buy me snacks would you?"

"Hell no--" Iwaizumi starts protesting only for Oikawa to walk out of the room, whistling softly without waiting for an answer. You sigh silently, pressing your lips together and glancing at Iwaizumi from the corner of your eye.

He averts his gaze, but not quickly enough, grunting softly, " wanna go?"

"To the convenience store?"

He nods, already moving to grab his jacket by the door as you scramble to join him while trying not to act so desperate to spend just a little more time with him.

The evening is colder than you'd expect, a mixture of wind and rain that makes him curse slightly while you hurriedly open up your umbrella the moment you step into the street. He nods, mutters a 'thanks' and guides you down the pavement where you jostle your way through evening strollers.

Quite surprised by the amount of movement on the street, you catch yourself asking, "is your neighbourhood always that busy?"

"I think there's a fancy fair around the corner," Iwaizumi sidesteps a man as he speaks, his shoulder brushing yours and sending warmth all the way down to your toes, "give me that."

Without warning, his hand engulfs yours holding the umbrella up and jumping at the contact, you quickly retract your hand, "thanks," you murmur, glad that the dark conceals the red splotches dotting your cheeks.

Your mind races to find something --anything -- to get you out of this awkward predicament. You'd die if he finds out how fast your heart is beating, "so uhm--Oikawa-san seems nice. You still keep in touch with him frequently then?"

"More like I can't get rid of his annoying ass," Iwaizumi mutters.

You chuckle, causing his eyebrow to quirk up, "what's so funny?"

"I'm just wondering whether Hoisuke will turn out like you when he grows up," you can't help but grin up at him, "you have a talent for dissing people."

"Only the ones worthy of my attention."

"Am I not worthy of your attention?" You tease.

He scowls down at you, "you're Hoisuke's teacher, that complicates things."

"In what way?" A passerby suddenly nudges against you and you stumble slightly, only to feel Iwaizumi's arm clasp your shoulder to steady you.

He's warm, your mind chants. And he smells good. Like citrus.

He, on the other hand, doesn't seem to notice your flustered countenance, "watch it," he barks out. Then, he turns back to answer your question, "how do I know you won't make Hoisuke fail his grade if I upset you too much?"

"Woah there mister. I didn't know I was that low on your list."

"That's not what I meant," he growls. A few weeks before might have caused you to fear his temper. But things are different now and you've come to know that it's just in Iwaizumi's nature to be so rough around the edges.

So you just bump your shoulders against him, flash him an understanding grin, and say, "I get it, hothead. No need to get riled up."

"What'd you call me?!"

Bursting into fits of laughter at how easily triggered he gets, you reach up to ruffle his hair, "down, boy--"

And that's when it hits you -- you are touching Iwaizumi's hair. Iwaizumi.

Oh fuck.

Your hand drops like wildfire, body instantly cowering away with a furious blush, "I'm so sorry," you squeak out, "that was not appropriate I know--"

Someone else bumps into your back which knocks you straight into the said man's chest. His hands find your waist on instinct as he steadies you both and for a minute, the world stops moving. Nothing matters, apart from the fact that your face is pressed against his torso, his scent overwhelming your nostrils with bliss, his warmth making you melt ever so slightly.

"Asshole," you hear his dim hiss like an echo in the back of your head. Dazed, your eyes stay glued to his shirt in hopes that he won't notice your embarrassment, "s--sorry about that," you squeak out.

Only then do you feel his gaze slide down to your face. He asks gruffly, "you okay?"

"Fine."

Dear god. Someone kill you now.

"Come on," and before you can protest, you feel his warm hand wrap around your own as he tugs you along, ensuring that you are tucked into his side while he weaves through the throng of people.

You're glad he can't see your face, nor the way your pulse is racing underneath your skin.

And the more you gaze at the strength of his shoulders, the more you are hit by a crumbling realization:

That you might be falling for Iwaizumi Hajime, and that might be the worst decision you’ve made yet.

----

He tells you about his married life when you sit outside the convenience store that evening, about how young and inexperienced he was, and how it had ended on pretty bad terms.

The fact that he even opens up about the topic surprises you, but nevertheless, you want to hope that it's his way of showing that your relationship isn't just tied by Hoosuke.

“Why...” you hesitate slightly, tentative, unsure whether one word will cause him to clam up, “why did it not work out? With you and Hoisuke's mother?” 

It is to be expected that you are met with his silence. It’s stoic and filled with warning, and you quickly scramble for an out, “I’m sorry, that was inconsiderate of me,” you bow your head and bite your lip. 

“She wanted more.” 

His words catch you by surprise. You blink, before looking up at him. He doesn’t look away.

It takes a moment. Then, he murmurs: 

“She wanted more...of everything. Things I couldn’t give her.” 

It stuns you, that he’s so outright. Your mouth opens, but you don’t have anything to say, and you don’t realize that you’re holding your breath until he continues thickly, “she was never satisfied with what I gave her. Always complained that I wasn't enough of a man to sustain a family," he pauses, "I think she was envious. She worked in a big corporation as a financial auditor, and her friends -- well, they all live pretty decent lives. So when we always had our arms full with cleaning up after Hoisuke, they went to get cocktails and eat sushi. I guess she felt like she was missing out somewhere along the line."

It's not the things he says, it's more about the way he says it, voice so thick with emotion that you can hear the tears about to fall from his lips. Your own chest aches with sympathy and your fingers ache to reach out to just hold him.

But you're not that close. You know it's not within your boundaries.

Iwaizumi chuckles before your mind can form a coherent answer, "sorry. Didn't mean for it to get depressive."

You turn to look at him, gaze at the way the streetlight dances over his side profile and down his jawline, "You don't have to say sorry, Iwaizumi-san," pausing and unsure whether you should go on, you decide it's worth the risk, "and while I don't blame her priorities, well, ...was money really such an issue that she left you and Hoisuke behind?"

He shrugs half-hearted, "not my place to say. I was labelled the cheap bastard that wasn't worth shit when she decided to sleep with her ex."

Disgust coils in your stomach, but you decide on letting the anger simmer silently in the pit of your stomach. You don't realize, however, that your fist is clenched so hard into your lap until the warmth of Iwaizumi's fingers flutter over your own.

You look up in surprise only to find his dark orbs searching your face, "hey," he murmurs out quietly, voice surprisingly soft, " s' okay."

You flush against the chilly night air, "sorry," you mumble, "I just-- I know how it feels like. Not to feel like you're enough."

He doesn't respond, only watches you intently. You continue, "my boyfriend cheated on me back in college. I didn't know about it, until six months later."

Iwaizumi sucks in a breath and his fingers tense over yours. Your throat feels scratchy, "so I know the feeling."

"Asshole," is what slips out of his mouth. You chuckle half-heartedly, though with the way he isn't pulling away from your hand makes you feel warm and giddy on the inside.

You'd like to think that this little bit of time spent together has brought you closer, if only to share your woes. But one thing's for sure, you think to yourself as you slowly walk back to Iwaizumi's flat now that the crowd has thinned out, Is that you both have Hoisuke's best interests at heart.

And that is your top priority that you should not forget. Even if you can feel your breath tug in your chest every time your eyes linger a little too long upon each other's.

----

Ha, who the hell were you kidding?

It’s almost impossible to put the certain dark-eyed, dark-haired scowling face of a man out of your mind as the next week comes by. It’s even harder when Hoisuke is more than intent on spending time at your desk in-between classes, chatting on about what he and his father were up to throughout the week. And though you restrain yourself from asking too many questions burning at the back of your tongue, you can’t help but be drawn to the small snippets of Iwaizumi’s life as presented by his son. Even if it’s presented by his son.

So why do you find yourself back in his apartment the very next week with flour all over your clothes ans currently coaching Hoisuke to make figures with his clumsy five-year-old hands?

"This is hard miss Y/N," Hoisuke pouts, arms dropping to his sides, "can't you do it?"

"But that would be no fun," you nudge him playfully as you work on your own little cat figure, "all you need is patience, practice and love."

Glancing at the clock above Hoisuke's head to see that it's already past six in the evening, you wonder where Iwaizumi and Oikawa have disappeared off to. They hadn't told you anything, only that they were picking up some groceries. You guessed it was merely the thought of baking that made them so reticent.

"Don't worry miss Y/N. Daddy's coming back soon," Hoisuke says, as if knowing exactly the thoughts occupying your mind.

"Where did your daddy go anyway?" You decide to play along and ask casually as you move behind Hoisuke to help him mold tiny fingers.

"He and uncle Tooru said that they wanted you to taste the food from the sushi place they love," he then adds casually, almost like an afterthought, "daddy said you looked tired."

He said what now? Your eyebrows shoot up in curiosity.

The sound of the door opening grabs your attention, revealing a dishevelled Oikawa in the doorway with grocery bags hanging from his arms, "we're back with food!"

"Uncle Tooru! Look at the cookie I'm making!" Hoisuke doesn't hesitate to tug onto Oikawa's shirt and drag him to the kitchen counter to marvel at the little misshaped man. Dusting your hands onto your apron and turning to help Iwaizumi, your step falters upon noticing the undecipherable expression shadowing his features.

"Iwaizumi-san?" You blink.

It's gone in a flash, replaced by his usual scowl, "sorry we're late," he murmurs as you help him with the takeaways. You try not to think too much into the way he'd been staring, but your own heart skips a beat at the possibility that maybe--

Stop. You mentally slap yourself. Stop it right there.

Similarly, Iwaizumi is having the exact same mental debate.

Don't get him wrong. There isn't anything he loves about the fact that you've just created havoc in his kitchen. Had he insinuated it when he'd asked about your famous cookie recipe? Maybe. But shit man, call him old and cranky but the amount of cleaning up after the mess in his kitchen is something he isn't looking forward to.

But that small nugget of stress instantly melts away the moment he lays eyes on you and Hoisuke, together. Hoisuke is giggling, you are holding onto his hands, maneuvering them so as to make a semblance of a human limb. You're both dusted with flour, pink in your cheeks, and Iwaizumi swears his heart is going to drop out of his chest.

"Daddy daddy! Wanna see the man me and miss Y/N made?"

"That miss Y/N and I made," you corrected out of impulse, grinning as the child repeated what you saie with no less conviction, and Iwaizumi forced himself to move towards his son with nonchalance, "let me see."

Now that he thinks about it, he shouldn't be inviting you over so casually like it's a weekly thing. And maybe you don't even want to be there. Maybe you're just doing him a favour because you pity him. That's enough to make him sick in his stomach.

But this thought dissipates the more the evening wears on and the more he catches your soft eyes, the motherly affection you radiate towards his child, the gentle giggles falling from your mouth.

Iwaizumi wants it. He wants it so bad his heart aches.

And Oikawa seems to know exactly what he's thinking. Or maybe he's too obvious.

"This is so good," you groan in satisfaction while digging into the takeout sushi. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to pipe up, "right? Iwa-chan literally dragged my butt out of town for th-- fuck!"

He howls, clutching his leg where Iwaizumi had kicked at it in growing irritation and when you look at him in confusion, he feels his face grow red, "don't listen to him."

"Uncle Tooru, you're a bad man. You said the F word," Hoisuke chimes in, "it's okay though, daddy. You don't have to be embarrassed."

The redness of a fire engine can't compare to the flush riding the back of his neck. He wishes for the ground to swallow him at this very inetant, though his lips do quirk up in a smile seeing you burst out laughing before ruffling Hoisuke's hair.

"I see the way you look at her," Oikawa tells him a few nights later upon meeting up at the gym where they both train a few nights a week. It is also one of the few times where Hoisuke stays at his mother's place.

Iwaizumi grunts in response. He turns his head away to focus on his pushups, but if his best friend can deduce from his face alone, then that's an obvious way of showing his embarrassment when he is past the point of denial.

"She likes you too you know," Oikawa casually throws in, wiping the sweat from his face as he straddles a rowing machine, "she's like an open book."

"You don't know that," Iwaizumi hisses as he bends his arms, lift them with another grunt.

"Oh yes I do. And if you're smart you'd do something about it before someone else comes in to swoop her away."

As annoying as he is, Oikawa has a point. The nagging thought eats away at his subconscious mind the more Iwaizumi turns his feelings over in his hands. Despite this, he invites you out with him and his best friend one Saturday night and is mildly surprised that you accept so quickly.

"How have we never met if you went to Aoba Johsai?" Oikawa asks while munching on a french fry. As per his request for greasy comfort food, they'd ended up dragging you to one of their local eateries that make the best burgers in town, "would've noticed a cutie like you."

You can't help but roll your eyes, grinning, "simple, I didn't have any talent. I sang like I was deaf and had two left feet. And don't get me started on sports."

"You could've been a cheerleader," Oikawa smirks evilly, causing you to swat him and reply, "unless I wanted to come out of high school with two broken legs, which I did not."

"Good thing anyway, Iwa-chan hated those cheerleaders with a passion," Oikawa nudges him, "whenever I'd get bombarded with them he'd just scowl and they would scurry off like ants. They were scared shitless!"

"As if you didn't like watching those cheerleaders," you throw Iwaizumi a smug, pointed look with raised eyebrows, to which is scowl deepened. But you're used to it at this point, it doesn't even make you flinch.

"They were annoying and whiny. Why would I like them?" He muttered into his strawberry milkshake. A surprising revelation, considering his bitter, rough countenance.

"Cause they were hot."

"Cause they had long legs."

You and Oikawa blink at each other before you burst out laughing. Iwaizumi merely rolls his eyes, "idiots," but his mouth says otherwise, tugging up in amusement.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Oikawa-san?" You ask aa you munch on your burger.

"Bah, girlfriends don't agree with me."

"He's too much of a playboy to get himself a girlfriend," Iwaizumi mutters loud enough to reach your ears and you snort at the dagger-eyed stare Oikawa throws him, "I can't just give that," he motions towards his figure, "hot bod to anyone, Iwa-chan!"

"Mine's hotter than yours."

"Shut up! Why are you always so mean to me? You know I've been working my ass off for those back muscles!"

Your snort causes your milkshake to spurt from your nose and as Oikawa yelps and scoots furthest away from you, Iwaizumi doesn't hesitate to thrust a bunch of clean napkins in your face, chuckling deeply as he eyes you with the same fond amusement he's been denying himself of in the last few weeks.

Is it selfish? To want more of you than he can have? To feel the naked throb of his fingers that ache to reach out and just tuck your hair behind your ears?

Of course it is. If he does that, he'll cross a line he isn't quite certain he's ready for yet.

Daddy, do you really really like Miss Y/N? Hoisuke's voice is as clear as water that same evening, after he's tucked his son in, after all lights have dimmed in his flat and he sprawls atop his bed with heavy eyelids and a content stomach.

Yes, he thinks to himself as his eyes slowly slip shut, I think I do.

Fuck.

-----

Taglist: @multi-fandom-fanfic, @168-cm-png, @bakugouswh0r3, @yatoatyourservice, @ayocee, @marvel-ing-at-it-all, @astrolcve, @lilith412426, @elianetsantana, @schleepyflocci, @oohlalie , @kaashikoi , @tendo-sxtori , @iwaroses , @its-the-aerieljeane , @lalalemon101 , @lanaxians-2 , @dora-the-grownup , @sharin-gone , @nekomavsnohebi , @crayonwriting , @imafan , @random-fandom-girl-24 , @bucinhajime , @izumikunmy , @iwaoioioi​ , @evesmores​ , @meri-soni-meri-tamanna​ , @paintedstarres​ , @okadaxo , @michaki​

[otaku6337]

You don’t have to create constantly.

I’m a hypocrite to say this, I’ll admit that upfront. I’m one of those writers who sets up spreadsheets and wordcount goals and I beat myself up over not writing my “monthly minimum”.

It’s unnecessary, and honestly I think for a lot of people it’s a bit unhealthy, myself included, when it gets to that point.

Every writer is different. There’s absolutely nothing inherently wrong with setting yourself goals, or trying to help yourself to write a lot, but when that help becomes forceful shoving, problems start to arise. Cracks begin to form.

Writing is words, not numbers. I know, far well, that it’s not always that easy. I’m a perfect example of a fic writer who counts every damn word and who pushes myself time and again to write at least a k a day, 50k a month, all that jazz.

I wish, quite often, that I didn’t. I will always want and need some direction for myself, because I’m too busy in other aspects of my life to not have some structure for it all, but that isn’t what I’m saying is “bad”.

Pushing yourself to write constantly is a harsh thing. Some days, your brain is full, and it isn’t full of writing, and that’s okay.

Some days you need to take a break. You need to give yourself room to take that break.

Writing is a muscle. It’s creative and logical and social, too, once you’re considering fandom, and that means that it’s taxing. A piling-up inbox is stressful. Flattering, but stressful. A spreadsheet is satisfying, but it’s also a constant reminder of performance in only one aspect; it has no inherent measure of your satisfaction or enjoyment, only of your output, which is cool to keep track of but also very much not what is likely, over time, to truly inspire anyone.

And, again, I’m a hypocrite to say all of this, and I know it. But equally I *can* say it because I’m speaking from experience. 80, 90% of the time my goals and spreadsheets and organisation support me in my writing. Some of the time they don’t. Please try not to fall down the trap of something becoming unhealthy for you when it is meant to be there to guide and support. 

If you know you’re getting dragged down by the numbers of it all, the wordcounts and goals, then do your best to disengage with it. I’ve stopped using my comments spreadsheet, for example, and stopped heavily interacting in a server where there was a lot of competition, literal or perceived, over wordcount, because it was making me feel poorly about my own. I didn’t go cold turkey on these things, I just recognised there was something that wasn’t doing me any good, and I take responsibility for myself in that fact and lessen its influence on me as best I can.

Do whatever works best for you. Write and organise and socialise in a way that encourages you, and in which you’re comfortable (or only a little bit uncomfortable because something is new, rather than upsetting, if you’re currently feeling like expanding your limits). If something is upsetting you, or affecting your writing negatively, then just remember that this is your online experience, nobody else’s. 

Look after yourself. Enjoyment comes before wordcount.

[oh-obrien]

Please write a one-shot about Anthony and reader! I don’t know why, but the stove scene cracked me up. Perhaps something in which the reader, who’s very kind and nurturing, finds herself in the kitchen with Anthony and actually knows how to warm up the milk (even tho she’s highborn), and Anthony being in awe and just falling in love ✨

BET THIS IS CUTE!! If it’s not what you wanted (or if you have any other ideas) feel free to slide into my inbox again!! I even got to make a Bridgerton banner to add to my masterlist, exciting exciting!

So here’s a little quick something. It’s not proof read so they’re may be a few typos but I just got an idea for a series!!

You quietly padded down the stairs of the Bridgerton estate, making your way towards the kitchen but not wanting to wake any of the family or the maids. Moving to London for the marriage season wasn’t something you had been all that excited about when your father had first informed you of the arrangement. Your father and Mr. Bridgerton had been quite close when they had been younger, and your mothers had also developed a rather close relationship.

You had spent many a summer with the Bridgerton children, opting to run amuck with the boys rather than learn to be the ‘prim and proper’ lady you were expected to be with the Bridgerton daughters. That had been an area where you parents seemed to disagree, but neither couple wanted to tell the others how to parent. However, upon Mr. Bridgerton’s passing your visits to see the other children started to grow rather scare and after your own mother’s passing they were nearly nonexistent. Your family was well off, with your father being one of the Queen’s most respected Generals, but had had never purchased an estate in London as he never had the time to think as far out as your first season.

With your father needing to lead his men in the ongoing war against the French Empire, he didn’t have time to help you through your first season in London. With the Queen’s help, your father had been able to quickly get in contact with Lady Bridgerton who agreed to host you for the durration of the season, and after if your father had not yet returned home. The woman quickly took you under her wing and along Daphne you were expected to be one of the diamond’s of the season.

Settling into the Bridgerton home had been quiet easy, as you always got along well with all of the children. Nights, however, often seemed to drag on and you never seemed to get a full night of restful sleep. You were used to living on a farm with your father, one of your family’s dogs asleep at the foot of your bed and another on a pillow next to the door, as if he was protecting you while you slept. Without the noise of the animals, or the dogs keeping you warm, something always seemed to feel off. Which led you to your current location.

You stood by the kettle in the kitchen, the glass container of milk held between your hands while you looked around the room for a second candle to help light the stove. As you set the milk down and and turned to look for another candle, hoping to have better luck with both hands free, you caught sight of a figure in the corner of the room. “Anthony!” You hissed after you recognized who had been lurking in the corner of the room, not sure how long he had been there. “What are you doing?”

With a sly smile Anthony pushed himself off the wall and made his way over to you, handing you an unlit lantern that you quickly used your candle to light. “You know how to make it work?” He asked, nodding towards the stove. You set the lantern down next to the stove before turning around, quirking a confused eyebrow at the man standing in front of you.

“And you don’t?” You offered him a smirk of your own while you croched down in front of the stove, opening the door on the front to show plenty of fresh coal to do the job you needed it to. “Not all of us have servants that wait on you foot and hand all day, Anthony.” You stood up and brushed off the skirt of your night dress after you had lit the stove.

“Life seems better that way sometimes,” he spoke quietly while you began to move about the kitchen. You pulled a pot to warm the milk off of the wall where it had been hung before also grabbing two mugs, tilting one towards Anthony, asking him if he wanted any. “Yes, I’d love a cup.”

You nodded to yourself while you set the pot on the stove, adding enough milk to it for two people before you turned around to face the eldest Bridgerton again. “Life is much simpler out in the country, but your family has a country estate so you should know that.” The flames from the lanterns lit up his face in the most flattering way possible, highliting all of his beautiful features.

“We still have a full staff when we live out in the country, when you and your father are home you are the only ones that tend to your animals,” he pointed out while you turned back to the milk, dipping your finger into the liquid to see if it was getting warm before picking up the pot of honey you had pulled out earlier. “I’d love to live life that way, away from,” he motioned around himself, “all of this.”

You hummed quietly, acknowledging his statement, as you pulled the spoon out of the honey pot, letting some drip into the quickly warming milk on the stove. “You can live like that if you wanted to, of course.” You picked up a spoon and began stirring the honey into the Milk, hoping it would all dissolve like it did at home. “But that means you making your own life, Anthony.”

“I want to make my own life but I fell - I feel,” the man in front of you trailed off, running a frustrated hand over his face.

“Trapped?”

“Morally obligated to do everything my father should be here doing,” he let out a long sigh, finally finding the words he wanted to. “I don’t want to have to be part of the season to find someone I want to marry, I want to marry someone I love.” You could see a few frustrated tears gathering at the corners of Anthony’s eyes, but he quickly blinked them away and you found it best not to acknowledge them.

“Nor do I, Anthony,” you dipped your finger into the warming milk, finding it to be warm enough before pulling the pot off the stove. You poured the liquid into the two cups before setting the pot back on the stove. “I just don’t know what other choice we have right now.”

You handed one mug to Anthony and kept the other for yourself, eyeing him carefully while you brought the rim of the cup up to your lips. “What if we did have about her choice?” He set his own cup down and went to grab yours out of your hands, setting it down next to him. “I-,” Anthony took in a deep breath. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life-”

“Anthony,”

“No,” he cut you off. “I love how differently you live from the other proper women, you don’t care about the standards, the tiles, the hall, you don’t care about any of it!” He grabbed your hands in is. “The last few years I’ve been, I’ve been filling this void with other women, but the perfect one has been in front of me and I didn’t even realize it.”

You stood in front of the eldest Bridgerton, shock evident on your face while you listened to him rambling. “Anthony, you’re tired, you don’t know what you’re saying right now.” You tried to shove down the shimmer of hope that started the bubble in your stomach, pushing away your desire to marry the man in front of you right then and there.

“No, I know exactly what I’m saying! Tomorrow we’re doing this right,” he dropped your hands with a bright smile, “we Court through the remainder of the season and then I’ll propose!” He picked up his cup from the table and took a long sip from it. “And then, and then we’ll have the most amazing wedding that London has ever seen. We’ll move to the country and tend to our own land and it will the life I’ve long for.”

Trying to hide your smile you just nodded, a small, okay slipping past your lips.

“Okay?” Anthony asked, his own smile widening.

“Yes, okay. We’ll marry by the end of the season!” You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped past your lips when Anthony quickly crossed the room, wrapping his arms around your waist and sweeping you off your feet in a tight hug. “Now go back to bed Anthony, your sister is seeing the Duke again tomorrow, you need to be well rested to escort her.”

You saw his face drop slightly, “and of course you also need to be well rested to dance with me.”

[therighthandofvengeance]

a revised Delenn moodboard <3

[harrywritingsbyme]

If it’s not too much to ask but 🥺 can we get (y/n) sinking her nails into Harry’s back, leaving deep marks and scratches from his shoulder down to his mid back during sex. So the next day, she notices Harry is winces a bit and when she goes to lift up his shirt. She shocked to see so many bruises so now she feels terrible and offer to give him a soothing massage with some cream to make up for hurting him please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Scratches

A/N: I was clearing out my inbox when i stumbled across this concept. I thought that this was so cute and a lil bit spicy. So I decided to do something with it...Enjoy🙃

Things got a little bit crazy last night. After a long day for both you and Harry, a night of being tangled up in each other was extremely welcomed. The two of you just went back and forth all night long, taking each other in just about every position imaginable. The only break in between you two going at it was to eat dinner. And even in the process of making it, Harry took you right against the counter. To put it simply, it was a great night for the two of you. And despite the fact that you both were exerting energy moving your bodies against each other’s, you and Harry had no complaints whatsoever. Especially you. Throughout the night you made countless offers to take control and focus in on Harry and pleasuring him. Now he did give in, but that was only once. The other offers you made were met with really sharp and deep thrusts, along grunts from him telling you to shush. Which you did in fact do, just with your offers to focus on him a bit; not your moans. Those, you simply could not control. 

There was literally no way that you could possibly hold back the screams, whimpers, and moans that left your mouth as a result of Harry’s relentless thrusts into you. It didn’t matter what position you were in either. You could’ve been on your back or on your front, you never failed to scream your lungs out, squirm, and claw at whatever was in your reach from the pleasure Harry was slamming into you. The only difference between the two would be what you dug your nails into. When you were lying on your front, taking Harry’s cock from behind, you always clung to the sheets around you if your arms weren’t pinned to your lower back and used as leverage to sharpen his thrusts even more. But when you’re on your back, you cling to Harry. Unless your arms are pinned above your head, your arms are around him and your nails are subconsciously digging into his shoulders and back. You didn’t mean to, it just happened. 

Harry was on top of you giving you one of the best (even though every time made that list) poundings you’d ever received from him. Not only was it deep rough and fast, it was also hard. As he shoved his cock down into you, he was quick with the movements and he made sure to push himself as deep as possible with every thrust. When doing so, Harry was lifting as much of his body as possible up just to slam all the way back down into you. This meant that he was pounding his cock into your stomach and his lower body, particularly his thighs, down into yours. He was also doing this while you were positioned in a way below him that had your legs pushed up towards your chest, resulting in your cunt being lifted a bit from the bed, which allowed him to slam down to you even better.

As he did this you were losing any shred of composure you had left in your body. You loved the incredibly balanced mixture of pain and pleasure Harry was giving to you. Your thighs were practically being torn apart as he slammed himself down into you and tore your walls apart with his cock. To make it even better, while he was showing zero mercy to your cunt and entire body for that matter, Harry was simultaneously moaning into your ear about how good it felt to pound into your perfect walls, and he even went on and on about how much he loved you (and your pussy of course). And believe it or not, it was really nice to know that he loved you to pieces while he was actively fucking you like he hated you and tearing the area below your waist to pieces. 

Fast forward to this morning and you were unsurprisingly sore from you guys’ late night activities. But before you can even recognize or acknowledge your soreness, Harry wakes up before you do. When he does, he also feels a level of soreness in his thighs and his back. But instead of fretting about it, a pretty smug smirk spreads across his face and his mind begins to wander back to everything that transpired last night. And judging by the little bit of soreness he’s feeling, he could only imagine how sore you were feeling. He did go pretty hard if he had to assess the the entire night.

After about 10 more minuets of in your words “being a stalker” (he considers it admiring) and watching you sleep while recalling the bits and pieces of last night, Harry finally decides to wake you up. It starts off with little kisses and coos into your ear, but seeing as you were knocked out, he was going to have to amp up his tactics. His gentle strokes to your back through your t-shirt turn into shakes and his voice gets a little louder. Eventually you do wake up with a couple grumbles of course before directing your attention to Harry.

“Good morning beautiful.” Harry hums, reaching his hand out to cradle the side of your head that wasn’t nestled into the pillow below.

“I’m not the one who looks like a literal god first thing in the morning but good morning to you too babe.” You reply, sending him a wide close lipped smile. 

“I strongly beg to differ on that one. But in other news, last night was fun.” Harry hums, sending a wide and smug grin your way. 

“Yeah, so much fun that i’ll be slowly regaining feeling from the waist down for the rest of the day.” You reply matter of factly. Even though you were trying to be smart, you did have an amazing time with Harry last night. It was so good that you could guarantee that it would be imprinted in your brain for a very long time, like forever. But even though you were still on cloud nine a little bit, you were also coming to grips with the soreness down there. Harry really did a number on you. 

“Want a painkiller?” Harry pouts towards you. 

“Please?” You whisper back softly. You’d take just about anything right now. Once you respond, Harry stokes your cheek one last time before moving to sit up and grab your painkillers. When he does this though, you notice that a wince leaves his mouth. Your mind instantly leaves your impending pain killers and goes right to Harry, you needed to figure out what was going on. When you see him reach towards his back, your first instinct is to lift up his shirt. And when you do, you’re met with red scratches littering his skin. “Oh my goodness babe!” You gasp, taking in all of the red scratches you’d left. Apparently you did a number on Harry too. “M’so sorry, I didn’t mean to scratch you up. It just felt so good I couldn’t help myself.” You apologize sorrowful behind him. 

“S’fine babe, at least I know that m’doing my job.” Harry chuckles, shuffling around the edge of the bed to face you. 

“I feel so bad though.” You sigh softly back to him. You liked a little bit of pain, but you didn’t want Harry to go through it if he didn’t ask. 

“Consider us even now. I always leave bruises and marks whenever we go at it and I always leave you a bit sore down there, even more so now.” Harry tries to reassure you, bringing his hand below the covers to softly wrap his hand around one of your thighs. 

“But you didn’t ask for it.” You reiterate. “At least let me give you a little massage.” You offer.

“Well I’m telling you now that I don’t mind you scratching and biting one bit. I actually like it.” He continues to reassure, giving you a light squeeze in the process. But that wasn’t going to cut it. “But if you wanna make it up to me, I guess you can rub me down with some of the soothing lotion we have in the bathroom.” Harry concedes before getting up and heading to the bathroom to grab the painkillers and the tube of soothing cream. When he comes back with the items, you promptly begin to sit up and get yourself ready to take care of him.

“Alright, how do you want me?” Harry asks, sitting the pill bottle on the bedside table and handing you the ointment. 

“On your front please. And take off your shirt too” You instruct as you slowly maneuver yourself around on the bed. Per your instruction, Harry tugs his shirt up and off of his body, leaving him completely naked before getting back onto the bed and lying flat on his front with his head burrowed into the pillows. After he’s all situated, you scoot in closer to him before lifting yourself to sit back on your calves. Normally you would straddle his waist but you were just too sore for that.

You then pick the tube of ointment from the bed, twisting the cap off before squeezing a good amount into your hand and placing the ointment back down. Now before you bring your hands down to Harry’s skin, you move the cream back and forth between your hands to warm it up a little bit. You wanted Harry to be as comfortable as possible. Once your palms are completely covered, you bring your hands to his shoulders and you begin working the product into his skin. As soon as your hands begin moving around on his shoulders, Harry instantly relaxes. Whenever you gave him little massages like this, he always felt good. Your hands were like magic when it came to his body. You knew exactly how much pressure to put on him and where to apply it. Like right now, you were expertly digging your palms into his shoulders and neck as you spread the ointment out.

“Feel good baby?” You coo down to him, continuing to spread the ointment across his skin. 

“So good.” Harry mumbles incoherently, being too engrossed in how good your hands felt on him to give you an understandable answer. As your hands continue on their journey down and across his back, Harry can feel himself awakening in other parts of his body. As if he didn’t get enough action the previous night, Harry’s cock begins to stir a bit against the bed. He wasn’t trying to get Hard, it’s just that your hands felt beyond amazing against him. After a couple more minuets of working your way down, your hands get closer to the dip in his back.

“Are there any other places where you’re sore?” You ask, stopping your movements to wait for an answer. 

“Can you get the backs of my thighs a little?” He asks, his tone a little on the timid side. He knew that you were sore as well, so he didn’t want to ask for much because of that. 

“Of course!” You reply, continuing to squeeze and dig your hands into his skin. You do this all the way down, paying attention to everything. You even spend a little time on his backside, which inevitably causes a few moans to fall from his mouth. When you get to his thighs, you really focus in on easing some of the tension in that area and relaxing him. And you did just that. Harry was on fire…but in a relaxed way. You were driving his cock crazy with the way your worked those hands of yours into him, but he was also very relaxed and ready to fall back asleep.

“Feels so good.” Harry slurs, enjoying every last drop of your massage.

“M’glad baby. Now flip over so I can get the front.” You instruct, softly tapping his backside to get him going.

“You don’t have to baby, we can just cuddle now. Know you’re sore too.” He offers. Harry was perfectly fine with what you gave him, which was way more than what he needed right now considering the fact that you were sorer than him. 

“Just let me get your chest then.” You bargain. You just wanted to make him feel good. When he turns over to face you, your eyes are immediately drawn to his cock that was swelling in his lap.

“S’just that your hands feel so good.” Harry explains once he sees you staring down towards his cock.

“M’just glad you’re enjoying it babe.” You hum. You liked seeing the good results of your work. “How about I suck you off after we take a nap.” You suggest, bringing your hands up to his shoulders to massage them a bit. 

“Only if you let me massage you once we wake up.” He barters back.

“You have a deal.” You agree.

“Good, now c’mere.” Harry says, lifting the sides of your face to pull you down to his. 

How could you not love a little pain mixed with pleasure?!

Masterlist

[gojology]

Jealousy. (3/3)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS AND I RLLY LOVED HOW THE ENDING WENT BUT IF U WANT ME TO WRITE A LITTLE EXTRA OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARDS JUST SPAM MY INBOX K THX ENJOY!!!! 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Teen! Gojo x Gender Neutral Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 2286 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Cursing.  ALL CHARACTERS HERE ARE AGED DOWN FROM PRESENT ANIME/MANGA INTO WHEN THEY WERE TEENAGERS. 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | Your plan with Geto finally unfolds, and Geto thinks with the information he has gathered, that it’s a perfect time for you to confess to Gojo. Shoko answers your suspicions about her and Gojo before Geto crashes the scene, telling you last second that he had set you up with Gojo for a confession, you had almost no time to prepare. Before you could even hold a proper scolding, Gojo arrives, it’s time to confess.    “Okay, here’s the plan.”     Geto slapped his hand onto the table, handing you a fizzy drink. You watched the bubbles rapidly float upwards. Inside, there’s various fruits, strawberries, kiwis, some lemons for added fanciness.     “(Y/N), the drink is not what we’re focusing on.” he snaps his fingers, you glance up, he’s shaking his head and smiling.     “Sorry, uh, I’m not good with serious conversations.” you twiddle with your thumbs, studying the table. Your fingers itch for your something to fidget with, the whole reason why you two met up was awkward anyways.     You had conspired with Geto to make Gojo jealous. Having already tried being subtle, you had eyed him across the room, flirted with him, and he still hadn’t realized. You had bought him free stuff whenever you went to the store, and once again, he never really realized. Geto did, though. He always raised his eyebrows when you handed Gojo a bag of kikufuku from his favorite shop, or if you got him a stupid cheap trinket from the night markets.     The point being, you were much more affection with Gojo then anyone else.    Even when you tried to conceal this jealousy, the cracking point was when you had found out that Gojo had gone out with Geto the night before and had sex with a few random girls.    You had chewed Geto and Gojo both out, while Gojo was yawning and tousling his hair, boredom evident in his face, Geto examined every single little thing about your body language. How your face seemed to drop a little more when you talked about Gojo, and how you seemed so self conscious when you talked about the girls that he had had fun with.     He had approached you, with no time for small talk. His arms crossed, he blew a strand of hair away from his face, looking at you. He had oh so casually asked you if you had a thing for Satoru, and here you were now. Just short of having a heart attack from sheer panic.     “Hey. Don’t be scared.” placing one of his hands on your shoulder, he smiles. “I know Gojo, did I ever tell you how we compared dick sizes once? Wild, I’ve also had a few foursomes-”     You retch, and Geto snickers.     “Moving on, that guy gets jealous EASILY. He’s also as dumb as a rock, probably can’t define the word love.” he looks down, the easygoing expression on his face wiped off, replaced with a rather saddened one, “but I guess he hasn’t experienced the feeling a lot.”     He looks back up at you, brushing his bangs behind his ear. “This brings me to Operation: Make Gojo Jealous Because That’s The Only Way I Know How To Get Him To Realize If He Likes You or Not!”     He leans over the table, looking left and right before leaning into your ear. “What do we say if Gojo doesn’t like you back?”     Your stomach twists as the words, “Gojo doesn’t like you back.” echoed in your mind, you sigh.     “That’s okay Gojo, and whatever your opinion is, I will respect.”     “Perfect, if you have any objections, tell me now.”     A deafening silence settles between you two, he chuckles again.     “Also, Shoko’s smart as shit. She can probably catch on, or maybe she already knows that you have a crush on him. Maybe she’ll play into this, fair warning. Alright, ready? Listen close.”     He stops leaning over the table, sitting back down normally.     “We start spending a lot more time with each other, as in, we spend more than half of our day with one another.” you open your mouth to complain, as Geto would be sure to annoy you knowing that you had to spend half the fucking day with you, but he shushes you up with his finger.    “I’m a good stalker, so I’ll be watching Gojo. If he doesn’t have a crush on you, he’ll be just fine. Albeit, just a bit lonelier, because his best bud is ditching him for you, maybe talk to Shoko or some shit. If he DOES in fact have a crush on you, he’ll watch our every move. He doesn’t hide his anger very well, so I’ll be able to tell.”     “You’re a good WHAT?”     “Shut up, and I have everything planned out. We’ll probably have a celebration at this park after we get back from wiping out all the curses from this village, and by then I’ll have enough information to see if that’s a good day to confess to him. Understand?”     You nod, shocked that he had literally planned this all out. He gets up, nodding at you and waving, giving you a playful wink before leaving the room.  —        Here you were now, sitting on the picnic blanket. Shoko digs her hand into her pocket, pulling out a few cigarettes.     You eye them as she whips out a lighter, delicately placing the cigarette into her mouth and lighting it. Taking in a deep breath, you watch her exhale, a hazy cloud of gray swirled around into the air.    You never took Shoko as a person to smoke, but your gut wrenches. Does Gojo like smokers? He seemed interested in Shoko, and maybe Shoko was trying to confess with him before you and Geto had crashed the party.     Nervously shoving the marble in your ramune down, you stutter, Shoko glanced up. Her lukewarm eyes stared into yours.     “Have a question, honey?” her cigarette between her pointer and index, she coughs before placing it back into her mouth.     “Uh, yeah. A-actually.”     A pleasantly surprised face covered her calm expression, looking at you with curiosity, she nods, telling you to continue.     “...Do you have a crush on Gojo?”     She looks at you, bewildered, before pulling the cigarette out of her mouth. Chortling turning into coughing, she spits into the grass.     “Oh NO honey, I can’t even picture dating a guy, actually, especially not that monkey. What made you think that?”    Waves of relief rushed over your body, and you realize how stiffly you were sitting up. Relaxing your shoulders, you take a swig out of your ramune.     “Uh, I-I don’t know. I saw you two u-uh... Really close...”     Shoko smiles, her eyes crinkle at the side as she did. Scoffing a little, she places the cigarette back between her lips, taking a deep inhale before exhaling.     “We were talking about shit, no bother, oh hey, Geto’s back.”     You stare at where she’s pointing, Geto’s hands were shoved deep into his pockets. He had a toothy grin on his face, and strands of hair strayed from his bun as the wind whipped against him.     “(Y/N)! I have news~!” he screams, approaching the picnic with long strides.     Your heart jumps out of your chest, did he talk for you instead, and got Gojo to confess?     “I set you and Gojo up!” he sang, sitting down with a heavy thud and digging his hand into the picnic basket, sticking his tongue out as he searched for snacks. He looks at you sadistically, thoroughly enjoying the shocked expression on your face.     “WHAT?”     Shoko snickers a little, before changing it into a cough as you glare at her.     “Yep, he’s coming back now, so you better prepare!” yanking out a snack, he peers down. “Fuck yeah! Dried squid!”     “ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING IGNORE HOW YOU JUST SET UP MY CONFESSION WITH GOJO SO CASUALLY?”     He looks up at you, sharing a look with Shoko before both burst into laughter.     “(Y/N) being angry is a fucking knee slapper, isn’t it Shoko?”     ‘Who the fuck uses the phrase knee slapper, Geto?”    Ignoring Shoko’s sarcastic comment, Geto stared up at your figure. “Anyways, go for it sweetheart.” Geto calmly responds, Shoko still laughing.     You splutter, cursing Geto under your breath and everyone under his family tree for raising such a child.     “Aw hey now (Y/N), no cursing me! I know you’re doing it, and hey look, here he comes! Shoo lovebirds!” he waves his hand. Shoko, in an attempt to calm down, pulled her knee into her chest and giggled into her arms.    You match your line of sight with his, Gojo’s lanky build was quickly approaching. Instead of his usually scowling face, he seemed more relaxed.     “Yo.” he scratched the back of his neck as he walked up to the group, studying the grass. “Sorry for blowing up.”     Geto stood up, patting Gojo’s back. “There there, truthfully no one gives a fuck! Actually, I don’t know if you remember but (Y/N) over here requested your audience, bye bye now!” shoving Gojo in your direction, he stumbled a little, before scrambling and placing his hands on your shoulder.     ‘Sorry.” he murmured, a light blush crept up to his cheeks. “had to try to grab onto something or else I fall flat on my face.”     You found your cheeks also getting warm, you touched your skin, thankful that he was looking in another direction.     “Yeah. No problem.”     “Fuck off, you two! Flirt somewhere else!” hollered Geto.    “OKAY, HOLY SHIT!” hollered Gojo back, rolling his eyes before he looked down at you.     “Geto told me you wanted to talk to me about something.”     Your breath hitched, and you nodded nervously, he cleared his throat, arm snaking around your waist.     Shocked by the sudden realization that he had his arm wrapped around your fucking waist, your heart was now pounding out of your chest, eyes wide.     “The plot thickens.” Shoko lazily laid her head down on Geto’s shoulder, he grinned.     “That’s my fucking child right there.”  —    Gojo walked with you on a long, narrow path. Trees as a sort of canopy hung over your head, rustling with the wind. No people in sight.     He cleared his throat again, looking down at you.     “Uh, here looks really nice. Pretty peaceful, and there’s seating.” he gestured to a bench with his unoccupied hand.    You nod as he pulled you a bit closer into him, before letting go.     A whine almost leapt out of your throat before he slammed your hands over your mouth, for all you knew he wasn’t going to ask you out, and rather ask you directions to the nearest bathroom or some shit.     “Hey, sit down.”     Snapping out of your daze, you nodded, sitting down and staring at the opposite direction of wherever he faced.     You wished you had the courage to stare at his face, to look at his sunglasses while he ruffled his snow white locks. His defined collarbones, and his chiseled jawline and...     “So! What did you wanna talk about, (Y/N)?” you whipped your head to stare at him, jumping a little as you did so.     “Um.” FUCK, what were you supposed to say?     “...Lovely weather we’re having?”     Gojo scoffed, leaning towards you. He really did know how to work a person. Breathing heavier then you were when he pulled you closer to him, you looked at him, anticipating whatever he would say.     “I know that’s... Not what you were asking to talk to me for. Let me guess, you have a crush on Geto and you want to ask me how to get him to like you?”     ‘What! No!” you responded exasperatedly, hiding your face with your hands.     “I... Don’t have a thing for Geto!”     “What was that?” Gojo paused, before pulling at your sleeve. “Hey, I couldn’t hear you.” joking teasingly, he fixed his askew sunglasses.    “I DON’T HAVE A THING FOR GETO!”     He jumped back, rubbing his temples and sighing before chuckling.     “You didn’t have to be that fucking loud! Holy shit that hurt my ears.” rubbing them, he looked at you with a laugh.     You noted that his friendly behavior was back in business, as opposed to the serious one he had adopted as soon as you started hanging out with Geto.     Suddenly, the atmosphere changed as his laughter died out, both of you silent.     “Then... Who do you have a thing for?” Gojo whispered breathily, crossing his legs.     You opened your mouth, about to respond with every bit of power that you had left inside of your already frazzled body that he was the one that you had a thing for, and the one you had a thing for for multiple fucking months. You closed it before you could, taking a deep breath in.     “Hey.” leaning closer into your face, you swore you could count every hair strand that he had. He breathed heavily as well, and his chest heaved, he placed a hand onto your shoulder.     “It’s okay, you can tell me.”     You shook your head, looking away once again.     He cursed to himself, was he too straight forward? Or were you that stupid, did he have to confess himself?     No, he didn’t want to damage his pride. He wanted you to confess, to tell him how much you loved him, and the things you wanted to do together.     But what if you were going to tell him that you had a thing for Shoko or some shit?     “Come on, (Y/N), I won’t judge you.”     ‘No!” you shook your head furiously again, “you’re going to judge me!”     “I wont, come on, spill!”     You bit your lip, twisting yourself to look at him, tears dawning on your eyes. Diving headfirst into his chest, you whined. Fuck it all.    “I like you, Gojo.”     “...What?” he wrapped his arms around your head, looking down at you sniffling on his t-shirt.     “I like you, I like you, I like you DAMN IT!” you whined, banging your fists against his chest weakly.     “Woah, hey there little baby.” he pushed your head gently off of him, kissing your red, sweating forehead gently.     “I like you too, (Y/N).    

[creativeashproductions]

When the Pain Ends // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Breaking up with your boyfriend ends with your broken hand, a broken heart and a trip to Canada. Getting out of Oklahoma for comfort of your younger brother Owen brings you into contact with a sweet Canadian.

Warnings: Swearing, hospital, cheating boyfriend, angst and bit of fluff

Words: 3.1k

Requested: No.

A/N: Tidbit of info is that I am a university student. I had last week off and I’m six minutes into my History Zoom Lecture. Here’s a little fic.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

The scowl glued on your face as you waited in the ER for the results from the x-ray you had gotten back from minutes ago. A bag of ice on the swollen knuckles of your right hand still splattered in drops of blood. The same blood as the small drops on your shirt as well. If that didn’t put a scowl on your face, it was the next issue.

The reason for your visit to the ER was in bed next over complaining as a nurse checked his face. His eyes meeting yours in a blend of guilt, regret and fear almost. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes.

Let’s backtrack a little for a short history.

The summer after graduation, you had met a guy on the beach playing volleyball in need of another player. You joined, and then you fell for the guy just as he did for you. For the last three years, you were now twenty-one years old. Parker had been a really good guy. Until yesterday.

“Babe!” Parker sounded congested with the bandages held up his nose. He had been fighting the nurse to come to your side.

“Don’t call me that!” You hissed glaring at the tall boy with the auburn hair colour that had once been your favourite colour.

“C’mon it was a mistake-Ow!” Parker whined at the nurse applied more pressure as she cast a sympathetic glance at you. A small smile of thanks passed to the nurse who had maybe pressed a little no hard on Parker’s nose.

Your eyes rolled at the drama that was Parker when it came to injuries that had been his entire fault, to be frank. Your fist meeting his face? His fault for cheating. What did he expect? A congratulations? Screw that.

“Say anything else I swear I’ll hit the other ball.” You glared at the boy sending him to a fit, shaking fear of stupidity.

The beach was filled up with teens and adults with children on the nice weekend day out of the loud city. Originally you hadn’t been able to join Parker with your mutual friends, but something else had spurred you there. Instead of having the weekly movie night via FaceTime with your younger brother, you had other plans. A particular video sent by Parker’s best friend and his cousin too had brought you here. Livvy had grown close in the three-year relationship you had with her cousin.

Your fury filled gaze flickered around the beach and the grass in the large opening area of the waterfront. Finally, your eyes found Parker sitting with Livvy on the blanket on the grass with Steve. Livvy was the first to see with marching through the people spreading like a curtain from the angry girl.

“Hey, Parker!” You shouted at your boyfriend in a conversation with your other two friends. Parker’s smile grew just before it falters at your expression.

“Hey, Babe,” Parker spoke, climbing to his full five-foot-ten stature. Livvy’s smile pulled up in an amused smirk while Steve looked more confused.

“How was your weekend at your sick Granny’s house?” You came to a stop a foot away from him. Arms crossed just under your chest his thick eyebrows furrowed together.

“Uh…it was okay. She’s feeling better.” Parker nodded to himself tilting his head to the side, “It was-“

“I hope she better. Her treatment must have been incredible.” You replied, unfurling your arms to grab the phone from your back pocket.

Parker grew more confused, “What?”

“The doctor sure knew what he was doing. The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The whistle you made after your statement sounded, but you grew more satisfied with the circle of people behind you.

“Oh.” Steve choked, raising one fist to press against his mouth. By now Livvy had started recording on her phone.

Livvy and Parker may be cousins, but she loathed cheaters when it was the cause of her parents’ divorce. Parker’s lips parted as he paled. The click of the glass screen brought up a video of Parker and a brunette in a hot tub.

“Ba-“

“Fucking look at your actions.” You hissed stepping even closer, “Was it worth it? Jeopardizing a relationship with someone you share years of memories with? Years of love and trust? All for thirty seconds of fun? We both know you tend to…get too excited.”

“Oh shit,” Steve spoke, shifting his gaze between you and Parker like he was a bobblehead of Einstein. The very bobblehead that you had laughed giving Steve with his obsession over the legendary scientist.

“It just happened. I still love you. I just needed a- “Parker stumbled back bringing his hands to his face, “OW! You broke my nose!”

“Ouch.” You hissed shaking your aching hand coated in some blood that splattered your shirt from shaking the hand.

“What the hell! You bit…holy fuck!” Parker screamed as your foot came up between his spread legs, nailing his left nut. He collapsed onto the grass, struggling to hold his bleeding broke nose and his nuts.

“That’s what you get asshole.” You shouted, turning to Livvy, “Can you take me to the hospital?”

“Parker drove, I’ll drive you both there. Steve can keep you two from fighting.” Livvy spoke, ending the video to shove everything in the oversized beach bag.

Now it was hours later as per usual in most hospitals elongating the time you were forced to spend with your now ex-boyfriend. Livvy and Steve had gone home a while back. Parker continued trying to fix the unrepairable damage he had done.

“Y-“

“That’s it!” You exclaimed jumping down from the bed to storm over to Parker. You made a few steps before arms encircled your waist.

“Okay, Slugger.” The gritty voice of your father spoke tugging you as far away from your ex-boyfriend as possible, “As much I want to kill him, I think you broke his pretty-boy face enough.”

The anger drained from your body as you slumped against your dad anguish set in with a tsunami of hurt. Time melted as you broke in your father’s arm; missing the doctor giving information. Your hand was fitted with a cast, and next thing you were aware of it was in the car.

“You bruised hits nuts. Broke his nose.” Dad nonchalantly spoke, turning the steering wheel as he exited the hospital parking lot. He didn’t bother making small talk as he let you be quiet on the drive home.

You didn’t know what hurt more, the heartache or your broken hand stabilized in the brace. The clearing of a throat had your attention is drawn to the house you had grown up no doubt holding your upset mother.

“She’s not that mad.” Dad quietly spoke, handing your phone that had died during the time in the ER. You shot him a look at the inaccuracy of his statement because you both know she was angry.

“Her daughter just spent hours in a hospital with a dead phone. We both know she probably thought I was dead in a ditch.” You deadpanned as you both walked up to the door of the home in Norman, Oklahoma.

The door opened before you could reach for it, and a flurry of blonde hair attacked you in a hug. Your mother hugged then leaned away to scan your features. Catching the dried tear stains paired with the red-rimmed eyes.

“Sweetheart.” Dinah spoke, raising her hands to wipe the tears from your face only causing more to fall, “What’s wrong?”

“Parker cheated on me.” You mumbled melting into her arms in another round of tears, breaking your parents’ hearts.

Meanwhile in Vancouver, Canada

Owen loved his job and the people he had met, but he missed the weekly movie nights with his older sister. The Joyner siblings had gotten down pat a system of sync to have the same movie playing at the same time on FaceTime. Imagine his surprise when he got a text apologizing.

Virtual movie night postponed. It put him in a slump that greatly concerned his roommate at the decrease of excitement. Even the next day, he was sad like a kicked puppy.

“Bro? You good?” Charlie asked from his place in the kitchen, scanning his emails on his computer. Owen barely made his eyes, “Wasn’t movie night with your sister yesterday?”

Owen nodded, “Yeah she-“

As Owen had gone to explain his phone had dinged with a concerning message from his mother.

Mom: Have you heard from Y/N? She hasn’t come home.

Owen swiped out of the conversation to the most used one with you shared with him to send a mass of messages. All not even coming up as read by you. It was his stipulation that you had it one for his safe of mind.

“C’mon you little shit,” Owen grumbled, pressing your contact to call. It didn’t even ring, “Dead cell.”

Charlie’s full attention shifted to the younger guy sitting on their couch in the apartment they used during filming. As Owen started pacing, Charlie was over quick as a bunny to offer comfort to him. The boys had grown so close, with Jeremy too, that they knew how to help the other.

“Owen, you need to tell me what’s going on.” Charlie soothed the blonde with his eyes pleading with the teenager.

“My parents haven’t talked to my sister. She didn’t go home.” Owen admitted scratching at his chest when his chest tightened. The other immediately finding his pulse on his neck to ensure he still had a pulse.

“Oh shit.” Charlie retorted, tapping his foot on the hardwood floor trying to find the right words to help his friend.

For the next hour, the boys kept in contact with Owen’s family and checking your social media in shifts as they filmed. It was a slow day when Owen’s phone finally rang with his mother’s contact once more.

“Mom, did you find her?” Owen asked, picking at the skin on his lips pacing as he had all day. The level of anxiety had been perfect for the scene he had filmed as Alex.

“Yeah. Look, Owen, she needs to get out of Oklahoma. Do you have room for her?” Dinah asked her son periodically glancing in the living room at the lifeless young woman.

“Yeah. We have an extra room.” Owen supplied squeezing the phone in his grip, “How is she? What happened?”

“I’m letting her settle before I ask any questions, but her flight is in a bit. It was either you take her in, or we pay for a hotel room. Oh! I got this lego-“

“I have to get back to filming. I’ll call you tonight.” Owen told his mother as his thumb hit the record circle on his phone. Kenny waving him over to film a scene with Booboo that would be the last before heading home.

The over the counter pain pill went down with a swig of water in the airport waiting for Owen and his roommate. Owen had messaged you that he would pick you up on the way from the set in perfect timing.

“Y/N!” Owen cheered catching sight of your form hunched forward on the bench you had miraculously found empty. Your blank eyes seeing the blue of your younger brother.

Owen’s eyes widened in shock, “What the hell happened to your hand?”

Noncommittal, the girl walked by her brother with her luggage in the mission to get to the car. All you wanted was to burst into years under your blankets until the world turned again, when birds sang, and the word wasn’t painted in dull colours.

Just as it had during the ride from the hospital to the house, it was dead silent in the car with the barest sound of music. Owen and Charlie had been having a conversation with expressions with the tension in the backseat stifling.

“This is our place.” Charlie spoke, opening the apartment door with a flourish for the girl and her luggage. Your eyes scanned the modest apartment with minimal mess compared to the tornado devastation of Owen’s Oklahoma room.

“Okay.” You replied, watching as Owen rolled the luggage to the room you would use for the few weeks you would be here.

Once showered, dressed and settled, you retreated to the couch to watch a film with the two boys. Your mind fluttered between Beca’s blow out with her father and Jesse to the city of Norman. As if thinking of Parker manifested something your phone buzzed with notifications.

@/livvyjo: Go, girl! [video]

@/malia134: Parker goes down like the bitch he is!!!

@/notsteverogers: I got a front-row seat to the fight.

Those three comments on Livvy’s video had more support than hate plus the video itself was hilarious. It caught the entire confrontation from greeting the cheater to being pulled away to spend the ten minutes in the same car. The car you had hooked up in the backseat of in the years you dated him.

 “-The prescription of ‘dicked down’ cured her illness and old age.” The pure anger on your expression amused you.

“What are you watching?” Owen inquired from the couch he watched the movie from. It made up for the lack of a film last night.

“A girl punching her bag of shit ex-boyfriend. She almost ripped his face off in the hospital.” You softly replied with your thumb double-tapping Livvy’s post.

Charlie’s attention shifted from the pool mashup with the Barden Bellas to the pride evident in your tone. It was the first time he had heard you laugh during the few hours he had been in your presence.

“What movie?”

“Oh, you know Parker’s Dicked Down Adventures. Filmed free with an iPhone.” You spoke sliding down to sit flush to Charlie to show the video you refreshed.

Owen’s mouth opened, “He cheated on you? How stupid is he??”

“You have a mean right hook.” Charlie supplied replaying the video for the third time with a weird feeling in his gut. The confidence stirred a body warming heat in the Canadian actor unlike anything else he had felt before.

“Dad taught me.” You replied, slouching down in the plush couch with a tiny smiling, “The nurse heard what happened. She put excessive pressure for his actions. I overheard his diagnosis; nasty bruised testicle and a broken nose.”

Both boys winced at the description. Owen ditching Charlie’s side to sit beside you, leaving you in the middle of the boys.

“I almost attacked him before Dad dragged me out of the room.” You recounted snuggling into your younger brother’s side.

“Where are my keys?” Owen questioned his roommate, “We need them to drive to the airport. I need to kill the ass that hurt my sister.”

Your deft fingers grasped Owen’s wrist when he went to get up because, in all honesty, he probably would book a flight. He wouldn’t go through with the plan to physically hurt Parker, but Owen had a wicked tongue for insults.

You spent one month in Vancouver with your brother and his castmates from helping Maddie with her homework. Movie nights with Owen changed to include Charlie too. Shopping trips with Sav and Tori. Baking with Jadah. You became family with them.

All good things come to an end. You had settled back in Norman with brighter plans that didn’t involve relying on men. Movie nights still happened with the boys, but things got hectic. Virtual movie nights shifted to texting Charlie and calls.

“Hey dork.” Charlie spoke walking down the street in Vancouver to the restaurant he was meeting the cast at. His lips pulled back in a massive grin, hearing your voice.

“Hey Char!” You enthusiastically spoke, walking out of the building with more pep in your step at the voice of the man, “What’s up?”

“On my way for food with everyone. How are you feeling?” Charlie asked, rubbing his fingertips on the dark denim pants. The sound of your voice brightening up his day more than he thought possible.

“Ooh. I should let you go, huh?” You questioned shifting to hold the phone between your shoulder and chin. Fingers unlocked the new car you had bought with the money you had saved.

A nice change of money from selling the jewellery, clothes and other miscellaneous gifts Parker had given you. The necklace he gave you that once belonged to his grandmother had been given back to him. Other than that you had no interaction with the ass.

“I’d rather talk to you.” Charlie admitted biting his lip in concentration, “I have a question.”

“Okay. What’s your question?” You questioned as your phone connected to your car—Charlie’s voice coming through the car speakers.

“Filming is almost over. Do you have plans for New Years? I’d like you to see you again.”

His words set a flutter of butterflies moving in your stomach at his nervous confidence striking the new information. The change in your friendship had been felt on his side as well and while you usually would think one-month post cheating wasn’t long enough. Something about Charlie felt comfortable as if everything had been preparing to fall for him.

“I could fly-“

“I’d like to see where you grew up. Your favourite places and where you went to school. I want to know the little things that made you who you are.” Charlie spoke coming to a stop outside the restaurant, waiting for your answer.

Owen’s eyes pulled from his debate with Sacha and Jeremy to the nervous Canadian biting his lip outside the window. By the expression on his face, Owen couldn’t guess who he was talking about. It was the smile that had been appearing on Charlie’s face for the last two weeks you had been staying with them.

Charlie had fallen for Owen’s big sister, and he couldn’t think of anyone better. The bond between you and Charlie had been natural and magical to watch. It was kinda gross seeing his best friend and sister having heart eyes with each other. Yet, Owen had never liked Parker, but he loved the idea of having Charlie as a brother.

“Y-yeah. Of course, you can Char.” The flattering blush heated up your skin at the turn in the convo—a grin splitting on the two individuals with more than three thousand kilometres between them.

“Cool. I should join the cast. I’ll text you later.”

“Bye, Charlie.” You whispered to the boy looking out the window noticing something she had been oblivious to.

The world had regained the colour, the birds sang again, and the world turned once more. All because a boy helped her heal.

Tag List (PLEASE SEND AN INBOX TO BE ADDED! I CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ON THE LIST VIA POST COMMENTS!)

@safehavenmuse @siennanoelle01 @whiterose291 @mell-bell @blackhood5sos @ficrecsideblog @ifilwtmfc @deadpoolgirl23 @crappy-unicorn @sunsetcurve-h @elioelioeli0 @lovesanimals @popcrone818 @lolychu @deepsleepnat @tenaciousperfectionunknown @aunicornmademedoit @just-a-writer-here @simp4reggie @parkeret @faithiebrock01 @overlyhypedup @differentsoulrascalsalad @aesthetic-lyss @versaceapa @carleywhittaker @lostgirl219 @itsalexx21 @elllaoo4 @merxxleighann @mediocremunge @fantomlovesjuke4ever @dpaccione @oswin05 @kaylinfayezink @aberette13 @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @eharvey0218 @overlyhypedup @benstormy @auriandthepussicats @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @whothefuckstolemykeds @kcd15​ @siriuswvrld​ @princessvader15​ @xoxbloodreinaxox @heimdoodle​ @joshy-obx​ @lovesanimals​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @am3l1a-24 @flying-solo-without-you​ @jaskiers-sweetkiss​ @lostrandomfangirl​n @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @jatp-holland​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @dxlanhxlland​ @dasexydevitt13​ @ifilwtmfc @arianagrandes-things @kinda-really-lost​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​ @ssprayberrythings​​ @morgandamrose @thedarkqueenofavalon​ @zukoshonourr​ @crybabyddl @spooky-season-bitch​ @kcd15​ @morganayennefertyrell @magnet-girl​ @all-in-fangirl​ @kinda-really-lost @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @badwolf00593​ @blowakissbabe​

[ultimate-sidemen-imagines]

A Not So Happy Anniversary

Title: A Not So Happy Anniversary

Pairing: Reader/Harry

Word Count: 3,151

Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT

Summary: You and Harry have a long distance relationship. When Harry messes up and misses your three year anniversary, you confront him face to face.

Author’s Note: Ladies and gents, it feels good to be back. My inbox is open to requests. Let me know what you think!

You were furious with him. 

Completely and utterly furious with him. 

He had done this to you a million times, you always had forgiven him and moved on. But this? This was definitely something you couldn’t let go.

Both you and Harry had been dating for three years now, not a moment did you regret the decision to date the famous "wroetoshaw" on YouTube. You would be the first one to admit that his fanbase and everything that came with being labeled as his girlfriend terrified you but Harry made it worth it. Thankfully, the both of you had managed to keep your relationship away from the public. Fans not in your personal lives eliminated any unnecessary stress you both didn’t need. You were happy, he was happy. You guys barely fought. But that was about to change tonight.

Harry lived in two places: Guernsey and London. He traveled back between the two constantly which always made you a little bit upset. You understood why he'd want to live in London, of course you did. When you had gone out there with him, even you struggled to leave London once your time was up. A mix of the city life and the fact most of Harry’s friends lived there - it was a no brainer. 

But being stranded in Guernsey while Harry was away in London had been the first major roadblock in your relationship. There would be long amounts of time that Harry would be in London, leaving you by yourself at home and missing your boyfriend. He'd always come back eventually and apologize in a shower of kisses. You couldn't help yourself but forgive him but this was too far now. 

You stormed off back inside your small little flat, flipping off any guys that whistled at you in your short, black mini-dress while doing so. You had decided to get dressed up since tonight was a pretty big deal - the three year milestone with Harry. Your anniversary was today, something that you had reminded Harry about for two weeks. He promised over and over again that he would be home on time for your anniversary and that he'd meet you at your favorite restaurant for a romantic meal. Long story short, you had been sitting at the table for two hours with no sign of Harry. He'd let you down. 

You burst through the front door of your flat, throwing your heels off to the floor and locking the door with both locks. At least that way, Harry couldn't get in if he got there in the morning. You sniffled, feeling yourself now start to get upset more than angry. How could he do this? He promised. You’d always forgiven him for being late to come home before but this just felt like a slap in the face. 

A second later, you were at the fridge - taking out a bottle of wine and taking a swig from it. You knew it was stupid to try and numb the pain with alcohol, it would only leave you feeling like shit in the morning. You shook your head and put the bottle away, deciding to just go to bed and forget about Harry until the morning. 

It was about half an hour later when you had finally gone to bed, wearing one of Harry’s t-shirts and sweats. You were scrolling through Twitter to see if Harry had written anything yet no tweets came up for today. You were a little concerned at that but once you remembered just why you were angry with them, any feelings of being concerned were out the window. You turned off your phone and placed it on your side table - not being able to avoid the framed photo of you and Harry sitting there. At the sight of it, you quickly turned off your lamp and went to sleep. 

-

"Y/N, Y/N. Baby, wake up." You felt yourself being shaken out of your dream, your name being repeated over and over again. Eventually, your dream of a happy anniversary slipped away and your eyes fluttered open. 

You saw a dark figure over you in the bed, causing you to scream out. The figure put his hand over your mouth, trying to reach over to turn on the light as you struggled against his hand. "Babe! Stop! It's me! Harry!" He exclaimed in a loud whisper, turning on the dim lamp light to reveal himself. 

You calmed down as soon as you realized it was him, shoving him off you and sitting up in the bed. "For fuck sake Harry, you can't just hover over me in pitch darkness at-" You looked over at the time. "2:30 in the fucking morning!" 

"How the hell did you get in here anyway? I locked the front door with both locks." You grumbled, crossing as arms as Harry raised an eyebrow

"Yeah, I noticed that. I had to climb up a floor outside and get in through your window." He motioned the open window before shooting you an amused look. "I told you that you needed to lock your windows." 

"And you need to take the hint when I don’t want you in the flat." You grumbled, before grabbing one of your pillows and throwing it at him. "Harold, leave. I don't want to fucking talk to you or even look at you right now." 

"C’mon babe, don’t be like that. I know you missed me." He joked, only making the situation worse in pure Harry style. How the hell could he be making jokes and not even acknowledge how badly he had messed up? You just glared at him, shoving him off the edge of your bed and laying back down. "Go to the couch - we’ll talk in the morning when you’re actually ready to have a serious conversation.”

"Baby, come on. I'm joking." He cooed as you just ignored him and tried to go back to sleep. Harry bit his lip and sat back on the bed again next to you, watching your body turn away from him. He took the peaceful moment to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before running a finger down your arm softly. 

"Harry, I’ll seriously do something I’ll regret if you don’t get out and give me some space." You seethed, though Harry didn't budge. 

"Your threats don't make you scary, babe. You're like a hamster." He teased before he decided to get serious - he knew you'd really kick him out of the flat if he kept pulling jokes as such. "Look I'm sorry, okay?" 

"Sorry for what, Harry? Missing our anniversary, maybe? Maybe promising you'd be home yet you didn't come back on time. Really? I always let it go but you crossed a fucking line this time." You shot back at him. 

"My flight got delayed, okay?" Harry admitted in defeat. "The plane was having engine failure so we couldn't take off in time. I had to sit on that plane for ages, I only just landed an hour ago." He said, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. "I'm really sorry that I missed our dinner. I'll make it up to you, okay? Please don't be angry with me. It’s not my fault that Gatwick is proper shit." 

"No Harry, I will be angry at you." You said annoyed, still refusing to turn your body towards him. "Okay fair enough, your flight got pushed back far. But you could've come back to Guernsey days ago so you wouldn't miss our anniversary or maybe actually spend some time with me - but no. You're too busy partying it up in London with all your friends and all the girls that probably want to sleep with you the first chance they get. I know there’s gonna be one day where you just don’t come back to Guernsey for me and that’ll be the end of us." 

"Babe, where is all this coming from? You know when we started dating that I said I’d be travelling back and forth." Harry frowned, knowing your anger was coming from something more than him missing dinner tonight. He hated to see you aggravated over this topic. Especially when all his friends knew just how much he loved you and how loyal he was. He knew that you weren’t exactly the biggest fan of the amount of female attention he received online. He understood that. But it did bother him seeing you truly believe that he’d never come back home to you one day. “What makes you think I’d ever do anything like that to you?”

"I’m just scared, Harry." You whispered back at him. "I'm very scared of what could happen while you're in London while I'm stuck here." You closed your eyes and tried to block everything out. Until you felt him turn you on your back. You opened your eyes slowly to look up at Harry hovering over you. You felt your heart skip a beat looking up at him in the dim light. Even when you were upset and mad with him, he still had the power to take your breath away. 

"You're mad, you know that? Absolutely crazy." Harry stated, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. "You think I'd get bored of you? Seriously? Take a look in the fucking mirror, Y/N." He teased you before he returned to neutral. “Whatever I’ve done to make you believe any of what you just said? I’m so sorry, babe. The last three years I’ve had with you have been the best of my life. I would never violate you like that.”

“You know I also work in London too - doing all the Sidemen shoots and videos. I’m building that brand more and more to make sure that I can always come home whenever I want. I’m doing it so that we can live comfortably, that I can take you on holidays and help you pay for this place while I’m away. Never once have I been in London and not missed you, Y/N. I know I’m definitely far from perfect but I won’t let you think that I don’t love you. Cause I do, so fucking much.”

He leaned down and placed kisses down the side of your face - pressing a quick peck on your lips before moving down to your neck. 

"I fucking hate you sometimes." You insulted, gasping when you felt him leave love bites on the certain spot on your neck that drove you crazy. You snaked a hand into his hair when he did so, feeling yourself wanting him more rather than wanting to punch him back to London. 

"I sincerely doubt that you hate me right now." He said in a cocky tone, pulling his head back to admire the hickies he had left on your neck and smirking down at you. 

"Shut the fuck up." You growled, grabbing his fistful of his jumper and pulling his face back down to yours. You slammed your lips back against his, the whole action coming from both anger at him missing your anniversary dinner and lust at the same time. You knew there was love in your actions as well but you were more focused on other things at hand. 

Harry did a pretty good job at keeping up with the pace of your lips against his, deepening it and taking the moment to nip at your bottom lip. You moaned softly at that before your hands were underneath his clothes, practically ripping them off him and throwing them off to the side. He did the same with you, the both of you continuing to keep your lips together almost like it was a form of life source. 

It wasn't long before the couple were now fully naked, Harry's body pressing against yours as you made out. Something about his skin pressed against yours always gave you a funny feeling in your stomach - such a warm and safe feeling. You knew that you loved this boy after three years of dating, you only hoped you'd be able to communicate that through this.

Harry pulled back after a while, leaning over to the bedside table to retrieve a condom while you placed kisses along his neck. You made sure to leave your own marks on his skin. He grabbed one quickly enough and groaned at your hickies, pulling himself off to you long enough to roll the condom onto himself. You felt your eyes gleam at the sight of your fit boyfriend in his most vulnerable state. You completely understood why she got so jealous of him being away from you - he was such a gorgeous boy. 

Your boyfriend was back on you a second later, continuing to make-out with you again as he settled himself between your legs. You wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him close, eventually both of you pulling away for air. There were no words uttered between the two, speaking with your eyes and facial expressions. The rough lust and anger had faded away now to a soft kindness and love that you felt whenever you were near Harry. You smiled at him as he returned the favor before pushing into you without another second wasted. 

"Oh!" You moaned, leaning your head back against the pillows as he did so. It had been awhile for you both, having been ages since he was last home. You had definitely missed this. "Harry," You breathed out as he let out a long sigh, getting used to the feeling of being back inside you before he started to set a pace. “Feel so good around me, baby. Fuck I missed you.”

"Harry," You moaned louder this time, going up in volume the faster he went. "Harder, baby." You urged him on, hearing a type of groan and growl leave from his lips. He buried his face into your neck as he continued to thrust faster, leaving more hickies on the other side of your neck. 

"Oh fuck yes." He grunted against your skin, his words only bringing back that fluttery feeling in your stomach. "My gorgeous girlfriend. Even when you’re angry at me, you’re still so fucking hot.” He whispered, lifting his head up from your neck to look at you in the eyes while he fucked you. “No-one can have you, you hear me? You're mine." He whispered, taking one of his hands to wrap around your neck. Not too tight but enough to send your mind spiraling.

"Oh fuck Harry!" You cried out at this, your hands going straight to his shoulders. You dug your fingernails into his skin, dragging them down his pale back as you struggled to get your words out. "You're mine, Lewis. You're mine and I'm yours." You choked out, gasping and moaning out a version of his name at every thrust.

"Damn right." He growled, eventually turning you both over so you were on top of him. He kept control despite the change in position, angling his hips up and holding your hips to keep you steady. He kept doing that for a while, just smirking at hearing the porn-worthy noises that came past your lips. That smirk wiped away however when he felt his thrusts starting to falter, Harry coming closer and closer to his orgasm just like you.

"Oh baby, I'm so close." You whispered, clutching onto him as she felt her high nearing. Harry only smirked at this, trying to go as fast as he could in that moment. He sat up from the mattress, keeping a hold on your hips. He kissed you, "Go on baby, come for me. I wanna hear you." He growled against your lips. That was your breaking point.

"Harry!" You practically screamed, reaching orgasm. It was incredible the types of orgasms Harry gave to you, they always left you speechless and shaking. You heard strangled groans of your name come from Harry, feeling him reach his orgasm too. You kept rocking your hips against his as you both worked each other through your orgasms - eventually stopping when Harry pulled out. He collapsed down onto the mattress, bringing you down with him and holding you against him.

You were left a panting mess, resting against Harry’s body and your head on his chest. All that could be heard was your and Harry's panting, both of your eyes closed to take in what just happened before Harry motioned you to look at him.

"You still mad at me?" Harry asked sweetly after a while, “I don’t know how you could be after that.”

"Oh shut up." You rolled your eyes playfully, enjoying his laughter before you pecked his lips.

"Still - I still think something needs to change, Harry." You admitted, gaining Harold's attention. "I mean... I... I love you, I do. And I want to be with you. But you’re in London constantly. I can’t even travel to see you that often because of university. If I’m just barely going to see you, I can't deal with that. I need a compromise." 

Harry thought about what you said for a moment, placing a small kiss to your forehead. "You're right. I will admit that I love London more than Guernsey but I love you more than anything." He admitted to you, nothing left but love filling his beautifully colored eyes of his. "So let's fix the problem. When you graduate from uni, come back to London with me."

"What?" You asked, confused. 

"Come back with me to London, move in with me and Cal. We never have to be apart that way." He cooed. "I can talk to the guys about letting me come back to Guernsey every couple weeks or so to see you more rather than what I have been doing until you finish school. But when you finish, I want you to move out to London to stay with me permanently. I want to have you there for everything. None of this long distance bullshit. Especially if it’s making you doubt me. I want you with me. To prove to you that you never had anything to be scared about.”

It was definitely a lot for you to take in, moving from your small little town to the big city of the UK. You were nervous about thinking of starting a life there but as you looked at Harry and saw that future involved him - it became a no brainer. 

"We'll talk about it properly in the morning, okay? For now, let’s get some sleep. Especially since you gotta make up for missing today." You said softly with a smile, pecking his lips before laying your head back on his chest. 

"So after the morning sex?" Harry teased, making you roll your eyes and hitting him with the nearest pillow as his laughter vibrated throughout the whole flat. 

Yep. London sounded pretty good.

[lostinwildflowers]

Night Skies and City Lights

Koshi Sugawara x Reader

Summary: Sugawara comes from a rich family, he owns lavish cars and houses, and can buy whatever he wants. When he is invited to an event in New York City, he wants to bring a date. What do you do when your best friend asks you to go with him?

Word Count: 8.0K (Yeah I’m sorry)

Warnings: wealthy!Suga, swearing, friends to lovers, pining, angst, two dum dums don’t realize they both like each other(omg please kiss already i stg), fluff of course :)

A/N: Here is my part of @bakugohoex​ (Ria)’s 3K follower event!!! I can’t say it enough, but congrats love! I hope y’all enjoy my first time writing for Suga bb :) Please let me know what y’all think in the comments or in my inbox please, this took a lot from me to jump of out my comfort zone. Love y’all! - Birch<3

Dividers were created by the lovely and wonderful @anlian-aishang​ :) (I totally didn’t get these made just for this fic LOL)

Also, this and this were my inspiration for their outfits :) (total credit to the artist of the drawing and creator of the dress.) Okay I’ll shut up now, please enjoy :)

The last bell of the day rang out loudly, and all through the hallways, you could hear the happy cheers and chatter of students on their way home for the weekend. Students bustle quickly out of your assigned classroom, and a chuckle leaves your lips at the horde of them that clutter around your door.

You are drawn out of your thoughts as you shut your notebook, realizing that you had to put all of your books in your locker for the weekend. You begin shoving binders and folders into your backpack as fast as you can as the teacher finishes putting the chairs up for the janitor to clean overnight.

As you zip your bag shut and toss it over your shoulder, an extra binder in your arms you call out, “Have a nice weekend, Mrs. Smith!” The older woman calls back a goodbye as you slip out of the door, striding down the halls toward your locker.

Your bag hits the ground next to your locker with a loud thump as you set the binder in your hands on top of your bag, turning back to your locker to enter the combination in. Footsteps down the hall pull your eyes away from the small dial as you pull the lever open swiftly.

Warm, brown eyes lock onto yours in an instant and a smile slides across your lips as you lunge toward the taller framed boy.

“SUGA!!! I thought you went home without me, you jerk,” you whine out as you wrap your arms around him. Large and muscular arms wrap around your waist, picking you up off the ground to spin you in a small circle.

You can feel Sugawara’s chest rise and fall from his soft chuckles and as he pulls away, he shoots you his signature sugary grin.

“Awe, did you really think I would leave you behind, Y/n?” he teases as you return to placing your binders in your locker. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance as you chide back at him, “Well you took your time getting here and the hallways are totally empty, so yeah.”

Suga leans against the locker next to yours, crossing his arms as he watches you struggle to place one of your textbooks on the top shelf. He leans forward quickly, grabbing it from your hands to place it above your head with ease.

“You really think I would let my best friend walk home on a Friday afternoon, all alone, with no one to protect her? Geeze Y/n, your expectations of me are very low,” he pouts as he looks away, brown eyes gleaming playfully as you pick up your bag in one hand, closing the locker with the other.

You shove him, bag slipping from your hands as you slam him against a locker. Laughs bubble out from the two of you, and you are so distracted by trying to catch your breath from all the giggles to notice that Suga has slung your bag over his shoulder and has tossed his arm around you, guiding you out of the building.

Casual conversation is held between the two of you as he walks you home. Suga talks about his classes and the status of his college applications. You talk about how you were so excited for the weekend because you finally got a break from classes and you got to sleep in the following morning.

It seemed to be too soon when you landed on the steps of your front door. Suga rubs the back of his head with a soft grin, offering your bag out with his opposite hand.

You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and murmur, “Thanks Suga, I always appreciate it when you walk me home. I know you could always drive us, but the weather was so nice today and...”

A slight warmth hovers over your cheeks as your words trail off and you shrug as you grab your bag from him. You look down at your feet before mumbling out, “and I guess I like spending time with you outside of class and stuff.”

Suga lays a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him quickly. His head tilts softly, like how he does, and chuckles, “Well I enjoy it too, Y/n! This is what best friends do, so you can count on me!” With his last words, his thumb juts toward himself and he gives you another one of his classic smiles.

You can feel a slight drop in your mood at his words. This is what best friends do. The silver-haired boy in front of you had been your best friend for years, but now he’s in high school and he’s not the same little kid he used to be.

He was thick with muscle from playing volleyball, and he was devastatingly handsome. Suga’s concerned face suddenly has you focusing back in as the hand he rested on your shoulder moves to cup your face softly.

“Are you alright, Y/n? You looked kinda dizzy there for a second, do I need to walk you in-” “I’m okay,” you chirp out as your (colored) eyes widen. Suga flinches at your words before pulling away from you, tucking his hands into his pockets.

You immediately feel bad for slightly snapping at him, he was always just trying to help. “I promise I’m good, Suga,” you say more gently, “I was just lost in thought there for a second.”

He gives you a nod and then a look of thought travels across his face. Suga opens his mouth to say something, but your front door opens to your mom’s voice, and you turn away from him before he gets the chance to speak.

“Hi mum,” you call as you wave to her. Suga doesn’t say anything but just lifts a hand to wave at her as he starts to back up. “Hey, Y/n, I gotta go home, I’ll text you, yeah?” he says softly as he turns away.

You nod over your shoulder as Suga fully turns around, too quick for you to see the blush on his cheeks and the embarrassed look on his face. He curses under his breath as he walks away from your house and down the sidewalk. 

You were his best friend, so why the hell was it becoming so hard to talk to you?

The following week was difficult for Suga after his failed attempt to ask you his lingering question. He had been invited to New York City for an event by his coach, Keishin Ukai. 

All of his friends were going with their girlfriends and significant others, and he didn’t want to show up alone. Suga didn’t really bother to listen to what the event was about, but he knew it was supposed to be a black-tie affair.

There were two reasons why he was struggling to ask you to go with him. The first reason, although selfish and a daydream, was every time he would go to ask you, all he could picture was the way you would look in a floor-length dress like that. Would you want to wear purple or blue? Maybe even an emerald green?

Just the thought of you looking so ravishing on his arm had his tongue-tied and all rational thought leave his head. His second reason was a bit selfish too, and it was because it was you.

You were his best friend. You were more than his best friend. You were his person, the one who he loved and enjoyed more than anyone else. Yeah, he had the biggest and sweetest crush on you, and no way to tell you.

How couldn’t he love you? You were absolutely stunning, you had an amazing sense of humor with a perfect midnight laugh. You were so, so kind to others, and the soft touches on the shoulder and friendly hugs were more than enough to make his heart skip in his chest.

So, when he acted slightly weird around you after that day he walked you home, you began to worry that you had done or said something to push him away. You didn’t want there to be tension between the two of you, you guys were best friends!

You both were currently sitting in Suga’s personal library after school hours, books sprawled out in front of you as you studied for your upcoming tests. Suga sat in front of you, glasses perched on his nose as he read from a small journal, taking small notes every few seconds.

On the other hand, you were furiously doing math homework, sketching out curves of complex equations, and typing things aggressively into your calculator. Suga glances up at you in concern when you let out a huff after loud clacking into your calculator.

“Everything alright, Y/n? What did that poor calculator do to you?” he chuckles lightly, setting his journal down and lightly stretching, leaning his palm against his face as he gives you his full attention.

You look up from your calculator a little wildly, a flush covering your cheeks as you register Suga’s words and his brown eyes on you. You push the calculator away from you as you murmur, “I just… I really don’t like math.”

Suga nods knowingly and takes a closer look at what you were trying to do. “Yeah, I don’t want any of that,” he laughs out with a disgusted look on his face. 

You pout and cross your arms, giving Suga the best puppy eyes that you could. “Pleaseeee, Suga? You are so good at math, you took this class a whole year early!”

Suga just rolls his eyes before scooting over to your side, one arm resting on the back of your chair as his eyes flicked over the problem. You tried to focus on the small corrections he was giving you, something about concavity and zeros on the graph.

It was difficult to think about math when your really, really cute best friend had his glasses on and was trying to teach you something. 

Holy shit he looks so hot, you think to yourself as you watch Suga redraw the graph you were miserably failing at. No wonder he wants to be a teacher, he’s amazing at this. Wait! Why am I thinking like this? He’s my best friend! I don’t like him like that!

“You got all this?” Suga asks you, a gentle expression on his face as he finishes the sketch, holding it up to show you. You blink dumbly at him for a second before nodding, “Yeah, uh, thanks, Suga.”

He gives you a short nod back but doesn’t return to his seat. He reaches for the journal he had been reading but stops and turns back to you.

“Hey, Y/n, I actually have something to ask you,” a blush starts to creep up his neck and red coats the tips of his ears. You turn away from your math homework to get a better look at your best friend.

One of his hands goes to scratch at his neck while he stutters out, “I- I, uhm, was wondering if you would w-want to go to this, uhm event with me? It’s in New York, so I get it if you don’t feel comfortable and it’s-”

“Suga, I would love to!” you chirp out, a smile gracing your features as you place a hand on his shoulder. A deep sigh of relief leaves his lips as he grins back at you, “Thank goodness, I really didn’t want to go alone. Not when Daichi and Asahi are going to show up with pretty girls on their arms.”

You blink at his words and look toward the floor, “Are you asking me just because I’m your best friend? Or am I pretty enough to fit in with your friends?” A sinking feeling hits your stomach as you realize the differences between you two.

It was easy to forget Suga’s wealthy status when he was your best friend. You had grown up together, so he just seemed like family. Suga never truly liked to flaunt his money or possessions, so it never really bothered you. But here he was, asking you to fly across the globe to go to an event with other rich people.

Suga quickly waves his hands in front of him before awkwardly trying to reassure you, “No, no, Y/n!! You are my best friend, and well, you’re really pretty- I just thought you might want to go, and I don’t think you aren’t pretty, in fact, I think you're one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen!”

A silence falls over the two of you as you both look at each other in surprise at Suga’s small outburst. You burst out laughing at the embarrassment on Suga’s face, hands clutching toward your stomach out of habit.

“You should have seen your face, Suga! Oh my gosh, you really are too sweet for your own good sometimes,” you squeak out in between giggles. Suga visibly relaxes at your words, and then pouts in his chair, sticking his tongue out at you in annoyance.

A smirk appears on Suga’s lips as he turns back to you, an evil look plastered onto his face. Your eyes widen as you start to realize what that look meant.

“No, SUGAAAAA!! Do we have to go shopping?” you whine as he pulls you into a new store. He just laughs and reassures you that it was very important.

“You have to pick a dress to wear at the event, Y/n,” he states, hands looking through the rack of dresses in your size. You stop for a moment to admire him, his brown eyes looking over each dress, taking in every part before deciding if it was your style or not.

“Can I at least pick which color we wear?” you ask as you slide in next to him. Suga just laughs and nods as he pulls a dress off the rack to show you.

The rest of the afternoon is spent shopping for new suitcases, outfits, and of course, the dress you were going to wear at the event. Suga left you to get your dress fitted as he went to find a matching tux.

You surprisingly trusted him to get a suit that matched well enough, because it’s Suga here. He is quite the fashionista, and he had a picture of your dress to show to his tailor. You would be taking the clothes with you that day, as the plane would leave the following morning.

You both had agreed to meet at the airport in the morning, Suga had even gone as far as to have a car drop by your house to pick you up, and all of your luggage would be loaded by some of his private crew. 

Suga waved at you as you slid out of the car he sent, and you lifted your arm to wave back. You thanked the driver and slid out, your carry-on slung over your shoulder as you made your way over to him.

The private jet was waiting and ready to go, so you both boarded the awaiting plane and got buckled in for take-off. You had asked Suga if you could sit next to him, as you were a little uneasy about flying, and being next to him would be comforting enough for you until you got up into the sky.

He, of course, was reading over the itinerary for the event, but the feeling of being up in the plane made you slightly sick to your stomach. Your head landed on his shoulder, and before you knew it, you were asleep on his shoulder.

Suga looks down at you with a soft admiration and love in his eyes, and he allows himself to enjoy the closeness with you. He gently rests the side of his head against the top of yours, and he slips an arm behind your back so you could be more comfortable. It was going to be a long flight to New York City.

It wasn’t long before your plane landed and you were sleepily getting ushered into a fancy black car. The hotel you were staying at was apparently one of the nicest around, so you couldn’t complain as your heavy eyes stared out the window.

Neither you nor Suga said anything when you woke up from your nap, and neither of you noticed the faint blush coating the other’s cheeks when you pulled away. Suga, ever the gentleman, had helped you down from the plane and carried your bag the whole way to where the car was waiting.

You could hear the radio faintly in the background, along with the soft and calm voice of Suga. He was on the phone with one of his friends, you couldn’t tell if it was Daichi or Asahi though. Suga told whoever was on the other side that you both had landed safely and were going to the hotel to relax after the long flight.

Soon enough you are facing a very large and fancy-looking hotel, bright lights shining down against the darkened night sky. You are caught staring for a moment before your car door opens to Suga staring down at you.

“We’re here, Y/n. Let's grab our bags from the trunk and get settled in,” he murmurs quietly, as if to not startle you. You give him a nod before beginning to slide out of the seat, knees wobbly as you stand up straight.

Large and comforting hands steady you on either side of your hips, and you look up to see warm honey-colored eyes staring back at you. “Ya okay there, Y/n? I don’t have to carry you now, do I?”

A chuckle leaves both of your lips as he pulls away, handing you your backpack and rolling your suitcase up next to you. The two of you head into the main lobby, waiting for a minute to get your room number before locating the elevator.

You once again slump against Suga as the numbers on the elevator click by slowly. Suga glances down at your tired form with affection in his eyes, and he whispers, “Hey, you can’t be falling asleep yet. You slept almost for the whole plane ride, and we’ve got some things to go over.”

You turn your head to glance up at him with confusion lacing your features. “Whatcha mean we got things to go over? Like for the event?” you question him, eyes flicking over his face tiredly.

Suga nods as the elevator opens to your floor, and he leads the way down the hallway to where your large room was waiting. You had asked him if you could share a room, as you had never been to NYC before and were hesitant to be alone.

As you get your things situated, Suga explains how with his friends at the event you can be yourself; goofy, charismatic, and so on. He also mentioned how his coach was going to be there after traveling, and that you would have to be pretty put together in front of him.

“This sounds like a lot, Suga,” you fret, hands fiddling with your suitcase as you pull out a pair of pajamas. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to remember all of this.”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a second before he looks you square in the eyes and says, “Well don’t worry about it too much. I’ll be right there beside you, Y/n. I drug you into this mess, I can at least be by your side for the whole night.”

You gave him a smile before nodding to the bathroom, “I’m going to get a shower now, is that alright?” Suga just gives you a quick thumbs up over his shoulder as he reaches for the remote to turn on the tv. 

You wander into the very large bathroom, taking in the high ceiling and marble countertops. You set your clothes down next to the sink before turning on the water and getting ready for your shower. Tomorrow was the big day, after all.

The night was young as the bright lights from the city reflected off the windows of the black limo you were sitting in. Suga was sitting across from you, head resting against the window as he watched the streets fly by.

He looked handsome. He looked sinfully handsome. His legs were crossed, and maybe that was a good thing. You could stop staring at his thick and muscular thighs.

You couldn’t help looking at your best friend like this. The way his perfectly tailored vest fit snugly across his chest was distracting, and the way the sleeves to his black button-up were rolled to expose his strong forearms was unforgivable. 

Suga was looking out of the window for one reason and one reason only. He was trying to stop staring at you because holy shit his best friend was riding in a limo with him to a huge event, and oh my goodness did you look divine.

Your flowy black dress filled a good portion of the limo, so Suga couldn’t really sit next to you anyways. In general, he was struggling to contain himself around you, so he opted for quietly watching from the window as you played on your phone.

The limo stopped after a few more minutes of driving, and suddenly you had arrived at a huge mansion just outside of Manhattan. Suga helped you out of the limo, offering his arm to you as you walked toward the growing party.

You clung on tight to Suga’s arm as he began talking to CEOs and other pompous aristocrats, your (colored) eyes scanning around you to see if you could recognize anyone. Suga mentions you a few times to the people he’s talking to, and you say a few words here or there, letting Suga carry the weight of the conversation.

Soon enough, the conversation ends and Suga leads you away from those people before leaning down to whisper in your ear, “You’re doing great, Y/n. Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Your (colored) eyes look up to him quickly, a warmth flooding your cheeks as you scan over his features. He looked as calm and collected as ever, his brown eyes watching the crowd as he guided you toward a less busy corner.

“You look handsome tonight too, Suga,” you murmur shyly as he finally lets his gaze settle over you. He playfully punches your shoulder and chuckles out, “Hey, I was trying to be nice and make this about you, ya know.”

You got to shove him back playfully before you catch sight of shoulder-length brown hair, paired with a barely-there scruff. 

“Asahi!” you call out, waving at him as he catches sight of you and Suga. A man slightly shorter than Asahi follows behind him.

Suga turns away from you to see Asahi and Daichi approaching and he opens his arms wide for a hug. “Asahi, Daichi! Good to see ya, fellows. How have you been?” Suga asks them, pulling you up next to him so you could say hello to his buddies.

Asahi gives a shy smile as Suga wraps him in a big bear hug and he stutters out, “I’ve uh, I’ve been good Suga- I can’t b-breathe when you sQUEeze me that tight.” Daichi just laughs and pulls Suga away to do the handshake chest bump thing that guys always do.

“Nice to see you Suga, Y/n, I haven’t seen you in forever! You look beautiful tonight,” Daichi says as he pulls Suga under his arm. Suga shoots you a sheepish grin as his best friends begin to pull him away.

“Y/n, is it alright if we steal him for a little while? To catch up?” Asahi asks as Daichi starts ushering Suga away from you. You just give Suga a little wave as you respond to Asahi, “Yeah, no problem! Just bring him back to me in one piece.”

Asahi laughs as he follows the captain and vice-captain into the mix of the party. You are left alone for a brief moment before someone calls your name. You look around, but you don’t see anyone you recognize.

Suddenly, two shorter boys appear in front of you, large toothy grins gleaming at you. “Noya! Hinata! How are you?!” you squeal out as you trap them both in a hug. 

A bored voice from behind them mutters out, “They should be better, they’ve been slacking off at practices.” You pull away and lunge at Kageyama, wrapping the tall, lanky boy in a tight hug with a cry of, “Kags! I should have known you would be here!”

“Hey!!! Why don’t I get any love?” came the fourth voice, and you turn to be faced with Tanaka. You let a laugh leave your lips as you give the last boy a hug before pulling back to look at all four of them.

“I haven’t seen you all in so long, you all look so handsome!” you state happily, hands toying with the side of your dress as you gaze upon them. Tanaka, Hinata, and Noya all beam under your praise, while Kageyama just blushes faintly and covers it up with a cough.

Noya looks around you for a second, confusion obvious on his face as he ponders aloud, “Where’s Sugawara? He was the one who brought you right?”

You go to tell him that Asahi and Daichi stole him but you are cut off by Hinata chirping out, “Yeah, is he like your boyfriend or something now?”

“Oh quit it, you moron,” Kageyama snaps at him, “Sugawara would have told us if he managed to snag her, dumbass.”

You blink dumbly at them all for a second before they all look up at you, eyes wide like puppies who ate something they shouldn’t have. Tanaka breaks the silence by saying, “C’mon guys, do you really think Suga could catch someone as pretty as Y/n? I don’t think so!”

“Hey, I would watch your mouth there, Tanaka,” Daichi’s voice comes. Asahi and Sugawara are right behind him, and Suga slides in next to you with an apologetic smile. He leans down to whisper in your ear as Daichi starts arguing with Tanaka, “Sorry I took so long, the guys really missed me, and I-”

You quickly shush him and shrug with a smile, “No, no it’s alright. I was just catching up with these lunatics.” Suga gives you a grateful smile in return before looking back at his friends, laughing along with a joke Noya told Asahi.

Your (colored) eyes flick over Suga’s handsome face, taking in the soft pink on his cheeks from laughing, the beauty mark next to his eye, and the gentle curve of his lips as he smiles at his friends.

You must have kept your eyes on Suga for a second too long, because Hinaya peeps out, “Hey, Y/n, is there something on Suga’s face that you’re looking at?”

You tear your eyes away from Suga as fast as you can to look anywhere but at any of the people around you. The group of boys all watch you as your face flushes and your mouth gapes open, but no words come out.

Suga starts to get concerned when you don’t say anything, and he murmurs to you, “Hey, what’s going on? Y/n are you okay? Your face is burning up.” You remain silent as you try to think of anything to say, so Suga nods to Daichi as he starts to pull you away from the crowd.

Suga guides you through a large set of heavy spruce doors before leading you out into a small garden. The cool night air helps to calm the rush of heat coating your face and neck, and Suga takes a deep breath in before sighing it out slowly.

“What was all that back there?” Suga asks quietly as you sit down on a long bench on the side of the garden. You avert your eyes away from him as you fiddle with the layers of tool from your black dress.

“Y/n?” Suga asks as he leans down to you, resting one arm on the bench next to you, caging you to the bench with just his body. He brings his other hand up to cup your cheek, bringing your eyes to meet his. You gulp at the warmth of his touch, even though you feel shivers down your spine.

Suga’s expression is anything but harsh though, there is only concern and care in his eyes as he gazes down at you. You open your mouth to answer him but you are left with silence hanging in the air. Suga tries to give you an encouraging smile, allowing his hand to drop from your face to grab one of your hands.

“You know you can tell me anything, Y/n. I’m your best friend.” But I want to be more. The words were left hanging on his tongue, but you didn’t know any different because you were so caught up in your own head.

“I uh, yeah, thanks Suga. I guess I just got lost in thought and zoned out for a minute,” your murmur as you look down at his hand on yours. Best friend. That’s what Suga was to you, a best friend, a study partner, your everything.

“Suga, I-” “Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Tonight is about having fun, so we don’t have to get too much into this, okay?” Suga cuts you off gently, squeezing your hands reassuringly before reaching behind you to pluck a rose from the bush near your head.

He carefully peels the thorns off quickly before he turns back to you, sliding the brilliant red rose behind your ear with a soft caress to your cheek. He gives you a slight smirk before he shifts his weight and murmurs, “I meant it earlier. You really do look gorgeous tonight, Y/n.”

You blush under his watchful gaze, and you can see his eyes trail over your whole face, even going as far as to take a step back to look at you in your dress. He lets a cheeky whistle slide from his lips as he looks at you fondly, and this time you are at a loss for words because of the way he’s looking at you.

He’s never looked at you like this before.

It was quiet in the car, no music, no hushed whispers, just hanging silence. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, but you could feel some tension between you and Suga. 

You were feeling a lot of things after the way he looked at you, but he brushed the situation off fairly quickly, lending you a hand before whisking you back to the party where his friends were waiting.

Suga helped carry the train on your dress as you made your way up to your room, only a few words being passed between the two of you to keep the dress in the best shape possible.

Once you made it comfortably inside the room you turned to Suga, a faint blush coating your cheeks as he unbuttoned the silver-colored vest that was wrapped so neatly around his torso.

“Hey Suga,” you mumble, hands clenching at your sides as you inwardly groan. He turns to you quickly before murmuring back, “Yeah?”

You shuffle closer to him before turning your back to him and saying over your shoulder, “Could you unzip me? I don’t think I can reach it.”

Suga just nods, and he has to clear his throat and mind to keep his thoughts from straying. His mind was tired and he could make a fool of himself if he wasn’t careful.

One of Suga’s warm hands rests on your waist as a brace, and the other hand uses its nimble fingers to slowly slide the zipper down your back. Suga’s breath catches in his throat for a second, his hands lingering longer than they should have.

He can’t help the way he’s looking at you when you turn to face him. His eyes are blown out wide, full of some unknown emotion as he looks over you. Suddenly it clicks in your head.

He’s giving you the same look he gave you in the garden. It’s an intricate look, one of many layers, the first and most outward one being happiness. Then, maybe some adoration and giddiness. But the final depth to it, you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

You turn to fully face him, opening your mouth to speak before he spits out, “You can have the bathroom first, I’ll uhm, I’ll get changed out here.”

You give him a nod before shuffling over to your suitcase and grabbing your pajamas before slipping into the bathroom. Once the door shuts behind you, a shaky sigh leaves your lips as you lean up against the door.

Fuck, what was that just then?

You get changed as quickly as you can, hanging the dress on its hanger before jumping in the shower. Once you take a quick shower, you wipe your makeup off and comb through your hair. You splash some cool water on your face to help you clear your thoughts, and you lock eyes with yourself in the mirror.

I’ve got to be honest with myself. Something is going on here, and I’m not really sure what it is. I can’t deny it, I like him. I like him a whole hell of a lot. I just can’t ruin this…

You shake your head to try to rid yourself of your lingering thoughts before you walk back out into the main living area of the hotel room. At first, you don’t notice where Suga is at, but then when you catch sight of him, a flush is filling your cheeks before you can help it.

Suga’s back was facing you, but it was very much a shirtless back, and while you had seen him shirtless after practices or even when you were swimming in his pool, this was different. This was domestic, there wasn’t anyone else between you two.

You squeak as you drop your phone, the small rectangle cracking against your foot in your stupor of Suga’s back muscles. He turns around quickly at your cry, and you avert your eyes to the floor to pick up your phone, trying to relax the rapid beating of your heart in your chest.

When you look up, Suga is pulling on a shirt, but you still manage to see the nice set of muscles set upon his toned torso. You wander over to your suitcase, putting away your toothbrush and other small items before glancing over at him.

Suga was already looking at you and he quips out, “Why’s your face all red? Did you use up all the hot water?” You just giggle to try to cover your butt, and he joins in as you nod, “Yeah, you know me too well, Suga.”

The rest of the evening slides by rather silently, with you scrolling through your phone before giving up and trying to sleep. Suga, however, is sitting at the desk next to his bed, reading one of the books he packed. He even had his reading glasses on so he could dim the light a little more for you, in hopes you would be able to fall asleep.

After 30 minutes of tossing and turning you shuffle up and whisper out, “Suga? Do you think you could lay with me? I can’t seem to fall asleep.” When Suga looks up from his book at you, your hair is slightly mussed from your constant motion, and your t-shirt is just barely hanging off your shoulder.

You looked as exhausted as he felt. He just gives a tired smile before nodding and placing his book down. He slides his glasses off before rubbing at his tired eyes, flicking the lamp off as he stands up.

Suga walks over to the side of your bed closest to his, so that if you wanted him to move to his own bed, it would be less of a hazard in the darkness. You pull the covers back for him, and soon enough Suga is settling down next to you, laying flat on his back.

You roll over onto your side to face him, and in the darkness, you can see his eyes twinkling from the lights of the city behind him. You whisper into the darkness, “Thanks for inviting me on this trip, Suga. It means a lot, you know. I’m not one who grew up with all the fancy things you have, so this was a true experience for me. Thank you.”

You can hear a tired chuckle from Suga as he whispers back to you, “No, Y/n. Thank you for coming with me. Don’t know what I would have done without you today.”

You just smile to yourself at his words, your heart fluttering a little more as you hear him softly groan as he fluffs his pillow before flopping down again. You blink once before closing your eyes and murmuring, “Goodnight, Suga.”

A quiet, “Goodnight, Y/n,” is the only response you hear before you are pulled under by sleep. Except you missed the silent thought floating around in Suga’s head.

I love you.

A soft beam of glowing sunlight is what wakes you up, the ray shining brightly into your face as it slid past the parted curtain. You blink your eyes a few times to allow them to adjust to the light, and you are confused for a second at how heavy the blanket feels around you.

Said heavy blanket groans softly in your ear as he too squints at the light filling the room. Suga’s arm was wrapped firmly around your waist, pulling you close to his broad chest. This had you waking up fast, because the fact that your best friend was most definitely spooning you right now was a little jarring.

A groggy but deep grumble of “G’morning” falls from Suga’s lips as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. Warm puffs of air from his nose land on your skin, and you shiver at the goosebumps that rise on your arms and legs.

Suga shuffles a little more, tightening his grip around you as he mumbles, “You cold, Y/n? I’m roasting right now.” You giggle at his words before turning around in his arms, a whine leaving his lips as you shuffle around.

“Good morning, Suga,” you whisper as he blinks sleepily at you, large brown eyes soft in his morning glow. “Good morning, Y/n,” he says back with a dopey grin, a slight flush covering his cheeks at your close proximity.

You push on his chest with a gentle shove and another giggle as you murmur, “You said that already, you dork.” Suga just chuckles along with you and says, “I guess I’m not used to waking up next to you. We’ve been best friends for how long now and we’ve never had to share a bed?”

You both laugh at his words, enjoying each other’s company for another quiet minute before Suga’s phone starts ringing. Suga rolls onto his back with a loud groan, his arms and legs making a large starfish across the bed, pushing you off in his haste.

You cough a few times as you glare up at him, and Suga just points to his phone and mouths, “Sorry, I need to take this.” He grabs a pair of clothes before disappearing into the bathroom without another word.

The soft noise of the shower turning on alerts you that it was safe to get changed, so you pulled on a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater before scrolling through your phone as you waited for Suga.

The day itself wasn’t meant to be super exciting, Suga had gotten an extra day in Manhattan for you to sightsee and go shopping. The flight to Japan was leaving that night though, and it was the last flight leaving for the night so you couldn’t miss it.

Suga allows you to drag him around the city, taking pictures at small cafes and huge signs here or there for your family back home. There was one building that had pretty brickwork and you asked Suga if he wanted to take a selfie with you.

He took the selfie on his phone, he had the better camera after all. You both smiled at the camera with large grins before Suga started counting down, “3… 2…. 1… ” and on what should have been cheese, he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your cheek instead.

You tried not to think about the lingering feeling of his lips on your cheek as you ask him to send you the photo. Little do you know, he saved it as his lock screen while he was waiting for your phone to receive the picture.

After getting dinner at a small and locally owned restaurant, Suga begins pulling you toward the hotel. You both pack up your suitcases and bags, and before you knew it you were boarding the same jet that had taken you to the states.

The sky was pitch black as the plane ascended upwards, and you find yourself burying your face into your hands as you adjust to the feeling of being thousands of feet in the air. Suga was sitting next to you quietly, writing something in his journal about the event and talking to the CEOs.

The silence isn’t necessarily comfortable, there’s nothing except for the sound of the flight, and you can’t help but feel like you need to say something. You shuffle in your seat for a second, trying to get comfortable on the large cushion underneath you without bumping into Suga.

“Hey, Suga?” you ask softly, trying to not bug him if he was writing something important. He finishes writing whatever thought he had before turning to you, one hand coming up to rest against his cheek as he regards you.

“Yeah?” he prompts as he looks over your form, your hands clenching together as if you were unsure if what you were going to say was okay or not.

You turn to face him a little more, and you stare directly into his brown eyes as you say, “Thank you, again for taking me on this trip. I really had a lot of fun, and it was great to see Daichi and Asahi again. Noya and Tanaka too of course...”

Your words start to fade in Suga’s head as he gazes upon you. The lights from the city were shining brightly against the night sky behind you, lighting up the hair around you like a golden halo. The soft and warm-toned lights from inside the plane made your (colored) eyes sparkle, and suddenly, all Suga could think about was you.

He thought about all the times he tried to ask a girl out on a date, but they all rejected him because they thought he had a girlfriend. Suga was always so confused, he was hurt by the fact that no one wanted to date the rich kid, no one even tried to mooch off of him.

And it was because everyone knew he had you. You were always by his side, eating lunch next to him, walking to class with him, getting rides home in the winter because he didn’t want you walking home in the snow.

He had fallen so utterly and deeply in love with you over the years, and he was ready to toss it all out of the window with his next action.

Slowly but confidently, Suga brings his right hand up to cup your cheek, allowing his hand to glide behind your head. He leans in, eyes soft but determined. You didn’t understand what was going on at first, allowing your words to slowly drift off as Suga was the only thing you could think of.

His left hand finds a place on your waist, pulling you gently toward him as his head starts to tilt to the right. Your heart starts beating faster in your chest as butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

Suga was giving you all the time if you so desired to pull away, but he was pleasantly surprised when you leaned in, lips parting ever so slightly as you shut your eyes.

His lips felt like fire and ice all at once, burning and freezing as the air left your lungs. Kissing Suga was like eating a meal after fasting for weeks on end. He felt so much like home it almost scared you.

Suga’s lips move against yours at a bruising pace, letting you set the tone of the passionate kiss. You hear a slight groan from Suga when you brush your tongue against his bottom lip. He takes charge quickly though, his tongue chasing after yours playfully.

You try to battle him for dominance, your hands sliding across his chest before rising to tug on his hair. Suga takes this chance to tug gently on your bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away slowly, chest heaving from the weight behind the kiss.

You lean forward quickly though, press a soft peck on his lips before he pulls you close, leaning your forehead against his while you both catch your breath. No words are shared for a second as you both regain somewhat normal breathing, and this time you notice the flush on Suga’s cheeks.

You can see the city lights reflecting on his face as he looks at you, eyes blown wide with surprise and happiness, and definitely something else.

It’s the look he gave you in the garden, and it’s the look he gave you when he helped you out of your dress. This time, words start to come to mind to describe the look he’s giving you.

It’s tender and sweet. It’s fond and warm. It’s so Suga. It’s so… intimate.

You go to say something, but Suga beats you to it as he reaches for your hand. Suga swallows thickly and then says, “Y/n, I- I'm sorry, I don’t know what came over me, but hear me out okay?”

You open your mouth to interject, but you decide against it and give him a nod. He takes a deep breath and squeezes your hand ever so slightly, his own shaking slightly at his sudden nerves.

“Y/n, I know we have been best friends for a long time, and I really have enjoyed our friendship, and I mean it. But, I can’t deny it any longer,” he looks down at your hands before looking you square in the eyes.

“I am in love with you, and I have been for years now. I tried to play it off as sisterly love, because we were practically raised together. But I couldn’t deny the way my chest would flutter when yet another girl would turn me down for one reason and one reason only, you.”

You blink in surprise for a second, but Suga continues, “I couldn’t help but feel mad when jocks from the soccer team would try to ask you to the spring formal. I thought it was because I am your best friend, but I love you more than that.”

You give him a smile back, a warm feeling spreading over your body as you manage to choke out, “I love you to Suga, and not just in the best friend kind of way.”

Relief and joy flood Suga’s face, and you almost swore you saw tears gather at the edges of his eyes. He flushes softly before murmuring, “Can I kiss you again?”

You give him a gentle nod before he pulls you onto his lap, holding you close to his toned chest before leaning forward and kissing you like his life depended on it.

And on that flight, city lights against the midnight sky became an ambient background as the two of you discovered what you had been missing out on for all these years.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

[this week’s T5F was requested by anon]

Top 5 Reasons I Love Clouis

When I saw this request in my inbox, I knew I had to do it. You guys know by now that I never miss an opportunity to gush about clouis. I adore these two as a pair. Ever since ep1 dropped, I knew, y’know? I knew that Clementine and Louis were gonna be otp and now here we are. 

I have so many reasons for loving clouis, from major things that happen through the game to the smaller, fleeting moments, to things outside of the game like the fanart, fanfics, headcanons, and everything in between. So to condense all of that into only 5 reasons will be a challenge, but it’s fine. Some of these will be entire moments or episodes because reasons lie within the moments themselves, y’know? 

Also, thanks to @pi-creates for once again providing some of the screenshots used in this! It’s always appreciated! :D

Warning: This is very long.... I have a lot to say.

5. Oh my darling Clementine, your relationship with Louis has changed

I love the beginning of Clementine and Louis’ relationship in ep1. Everything from the meet cute to the confrontation with Marlon where Louis stands between them. 

Everything about their first meeting is so good. You have Louis focused on playing piano so that Clementine and AJ can reunite without interruption, then he introduces himself and claims he watched over AJ for her while she was out. 

Not only is this a great introduction to Louis as a character, but it’s a great start for the relationship that he and Clementine will build over the course of the season. 

One of the best parts of this scene is after AJ gets his gun back, Louis is alarmed but dismisses it after Clementine defends the choice to let AJ handle it.... which leads Clementine to give him a look before being like, “You don’t know any others?”

And In response, Louis throws back, “Well, there IS one... but you’re armed.”

Just.... the shared look they give is like they’re kinda challenging each other? Plus, for me, when Louis starts to sing Oh My Darling Clementine, not only is it him teasing her with a song that has her name in it, but it’s him seeing what he can push with her, if that makes sense? Like, is she gonna roll her eyes and tell him to knock it off? Or is she gonna have a bit of a sense of humor and go along with it? Or maybe she’ll even just like the song want to hear him play it? 

Listen just.... the immediate chemistry, okay? Even if you are someone who rolls your eyes at the song and tells him to stop, he doesn’t get offended. He listens to her and ends the song before smiling and winking at AJ. 

Oh yeah, speaking of which, there’s also him entertaining AJ with the song, who audibly gasps at hearing Clem’s name and it’s hilarious. Also love when Louis asks AJ to try it... it’s just the beginning signs that Louis is good with him and I love that. 

Now they have a lot of other moments in episode one that solidify them as my otp, but I’ll be talking about the hunting bit in another entry, and I don’t want this entry to be a million words long soooo let’s skip to the confrontation with Marlon.

Now this confrontation is a big moment. As the episode establishes, Marlon and Louis are best friends. They’ve known each other for 8+ years, survived all these years together, Louis never had a reason to not trust or follow him as a leader... and then this happens: Marlon and Clementine are yelling at each other, both covered in Brody’s blood, pointing fingers at the other for Brody’s murder.

It’s a lot, and Louis doesn’t say anything after Marlon gets the gun from AJ. You can hear him ask AJ to put the gun down before Clementine arrives, and he’s the one to help AJ up after Marlon shoves him down. 

And when Clementine turns to him for help? It’s so good. 

I know a lot of people were annoyed that he didn’t immediately jump to help her, but listen, that’s the point ya dingdong. 

Louis in ep1 is established as musical, laidback, charismatic, keeps his head down and doesn’t jump into conflict, goofs around before finishing his work, doesn’t think ahead or of the future, humorous guy who wants to trust his best friend’s judgement, even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with him. Plus, we can see that Marlon’s got him under his thumb from all the looks he gives Louis during this part and how he’s so smug when Louis says he’s not involved. 

The entire exchange with Louis curling in on himself like, “I’m sorry, Clem, but not me.” and you can hear it in his voice that he is apologetic for not having the confidence to step up and stop this, even though he knows it’s wrong. It takes Clementine being like, “You’d let him shoot me? Just so that you don’t have to get involved? I thought you were more than that!” 

And that really gets to him, y’know? He stares at her for a moment before mustering up what he can to ask Marlon to stop, who doesn’t take kindly to that and yells at him, which note that does make him flinch. 

Now this is just my interpretation of the scene after watching it so many times during playthroughs, but I don’t fully believe that Louis believes Marlon. Marlon’s over here insisting that Clem killed Brody and Marlon’s justified here, and we know he’s not but Louis wasn’t there, he doesn’t know what the hell happened in the basement... but I do think he wants to believe Marlon because again, he’s never had a reason to not trust him, and he’s always believed in him before, even if those around him didn’t. 

I’ve talked about this next part many times in the past. It’s beautiful. The scene tries to trick you into believing that Louis isn’t going to help with quiet shots on Marlon, then a shot on Clementine as she closes her eyes and waits.... only for Louis to slip in front of her with his hands up and this pleading look to Marlon as thunder rumbles and the corner of the screen says “your relationship with Louis has changed”

What else can I even say? 

Louis steps in front of Clementine so that his best friend is pointing a damn gun at his face, he has nothing in his hands because he’s trying to deescalate the situation, and he knows that if Marlon accidentally pulls that trigger, he’s dead. While I’ve argued that he’s also doing this for Marlon, we’re talking about Clouis so the fact that Louis just met Clementine but felt a strong enough connection to her to do this? To build up the courage to stop something that he knows is wrong rather than turn the other way? To not let Marlon intimidate him into silence? 

Aaahhhhhhh it’s too good you guys.

So yeah just.... ep1 and the beginnings of clouis is just... amazing. 

4. Building trust and breaking down walls

Remember when I was saying that ep1 establishes Louis as musical, charismatic, and all that? Well, seeing how Louis is so friendly, you’d think that he’d be a pretty open person, right? Sure, he’s easy to talk to, but you’d also think that he’d be easy to get to know... right?

Well, here’s the thing.... Louis isn’t open. Throughout the whole episode, Louis’ doesn’t tell you jack shit about his past. The most you get outta him is that he used to love baseball, he fucking hates cantaloupe, and he once saw a dude get his guts ripped out. Oh, and I guess he’s never had a girlfriend before. And sure, you get that he and Marlon are best friends, but he never tells you anything about his friendship with Marlon until the confrontation when he says he’s gotta trust him. But in friendly conversation? Or even when Aasim brings it up? Nope, nothin’. You get surface level stuff from Louis, but no backstory, nothing deeper.

You could chalk this up to the writer’s fault that he doesn’t get as much detail in ep1, but I’m choosing to look at this as he gives the illusion that he’s open and willing to share but really? 

“No, no, no, that’s not how this works. You see this wall? You’re on that side and I’m over here? Yeah, you only get to know the things on that side, and I’m gonna keep everything else over here. I’m not gonna lower the wall, and you’re not gonna climb it, and it’ll be a grand ol’ time.” 

Well, jokes on you, Louis-- Clem’s gonna climb that wall until you lower it. 

Now... the hunting scene. Clementine goes hunting with Louis and Aasim, and you’re faced with a choice of either helping Aasim hunt, or taking care of the walker with Louis. I know we all get a little salty about this given that the fishing path doesn’t play out with this similar ‘option 1 vs option 2′ thing, and believe me, I’ll be the first to admit I got my own stash of salt for it.... but again, I’m choosing to look at this as you want to know more about Louis? You wanna gain his trust? Well, then you gotta actually earn it... and going off what his end card says if you don’t go with him? Part of him wants Clem to earn it, too. 

And if she does go with him? Well, then you get the moment.

I love this part. Clementine kills the walker after some back and forth teasing with Louis, and he asks her if she feels better now that she blew off some steam. I usually tell him that I can’t wait for out next round of batting practice, which gets some flirty dialogue from Louis-- “Oh yeah? Bring it on, Clem, I’m always down for a little adventure.”

 “Is that so?”

“Life’s too short not to be. Aasim loves giving me crap about having a good time, always telling me I'm not thinking long-term. ‘We need to guarantee our future,’ all that horseshit. But I tell him right back, there's only one guarantee: this moment. That's the only thing you got, only thing any of us got. Might as well enjoy it.”

I adore this moment because Louis and Clementine have each let their guard down, and Louis is sharing with her why he prefers to look at survival the way he does and why he believes survival isn’t enough without living.... and going off Clementine’s expression after he’s done, it really gets to her and makes her think. 

...but then Louis realizes that he lowered his wall and it’s like a switch is flipped. You can see him look away with a thoughtful face as if he’s internally saying “Oops, I shared too much uhhh quick say something--” and then his tone completely changes into this happy, “I'll untie our friend here and reset the snare if you go check on Aasim. :D”

And that’s Louis ending the conversation and sending Clementine away from him so that he can think about what the hell just happened. 

This isn’t the only instance of this happening with them, either. While Louis does gradually warm back up to Clementine after Marlon’s death, that wall is still up and he’s struggling, y’know? Marlon dies, Louis saw it happen a few steps in front of him, and he’s heartbroken and traumatized from it. He’s also conflicted about Clem and AJ, not wanting them around but not wanting them to die out in the woods-- he doesn’t know what to do. 

So when Clementine and AJ come back and AJ’s shot to hell, he feels awful, guilty that it’s his fault for what happened. So he decides to bring Clementine some fresh clothes for AJ to change into when he’s better, and we get the dorm scene... which is just one of my favorites. 

It’s so interesting because you can feel Louis’ genuine concern for AJ and how he’s doing, but at the same time, he’s trying to distance himself from Clementine... and kinda failing. 

On top of that, you got Clementine trying to see where he stands with them [with her], if he’s okay with them staying, and Louis tries to avoid answering it... whether that’s because he really doesn’t know how he feels, or he has an idea but isn’t about to share it with her, or some mixture of both. He’s still trying to work through things by himself either way. 

“It’s fine while he gets better.”

“...And after that?”

“I don’t know, Clementine.”

Again, when AJ wakes up, Louis avoids the question of “Are we friends again?” and goes to leave where Clem stops him. I always pick “I really missed you,” and Louis admits that he missed her, too, before saying goodnight. 

I just.... my heart? 

Another moment I wanna talk about here before moving on is the piano room scene. We talk to Louis more during the archery scene where Louis finally opens up about Marlon and how he’s feeling about her and AJ, and they’re on good terms again. They have the fun card game, and then you gotta decide who you wanna go with.... and yeah, I still got my salt about the whole ‘check defenses vs play piano’ thing but again.... forcing myself to look at this as another moment where you gotta earn him and his trust. You wanna see him finally bring that wall completely down for Clementine and change their relationship for the rest of the game? Then go after him. 

And whattya know, Louis does this thing again.

Clementine goes after Louis to find him playing a song he wrote and he’s so clearly happy to see her. When Clementine mentions they haven’t heard music in a while [suggesting that Louis hasn’t been playing] Louis jokes about how some would say she’s not about here it now before playing again and just.... his face. Louis and his damn self deprecating jokes, I swear. And Clementine can see it on his face before again, it’s like a switch is flipped and Louis is all, “So how do you feel about our imminent deaths? :D” 

My favorite choice here is to remain silent, by the way. When you do that, Louis says, “You know I’m here for you.” and aaaahhhhhh-

So we all know how the rest goes-- they tune the piano, it turns out to be a joke Louis is playing on Clem, she calls him cute and he gets flustered. Louis doing this is pretty perfect and in line with his character. It makes sense that he would mess with her a bit to gauge a reaction before deciding whether or not he should open up a bit or not. 

Then he starts to play the song he wrote, and carves an L into his piano. This is interesting to see since you wouldn’t think Louis would do that, y’know? Especially since the piano already has shit carved into the side like, “You suck at playing!” 

But no, he knows that shit’s about to go down, and him and Clem carving their initials into the piano makes it theirs... if that makes sense. I mean that in the sense that “this is our place... this is where we shared this moment together and it’s ours forever carved here, no matter what happens next,” y’know? And Clem carving a heart around it? All the more special and cute. 

Side note, but I fucking love Louis’ reaction to the heart like... they haven’t even confessed their feelings yet and to any normal person this would be an obvious “hey I like you” moment but poor Louis is probably over here like “Oh it’s a heart, yeah okay, uhhhh heart of ultimate friendship probably?? that’s cool, really cool”  

Anyway, seeing Clementine carve a C next to the L is what I believe gives him the courage to finally let down the wall entirely. He lays it all out there, thanking her for being here [for choosing him] even after everything he put her through, he had a lot to work through for himself, and everyone always hears the jokes and the piano but after that they stop listening, but Clementine didn’t. 

Like okay.... do you remember when I mentioned that Louis’ end card in ep1 suggests that he wants Clementine to pursue him, if you will? When you go with Aasim instead, his end card says that he felt lonely... and yeah, okay listen... the end cards are usually a mess with things that make zero sense, but this one I’m inclined to believe. 

Again, Louis is viewed as this charismatic, friendly, musical dude, so he should be close with everyone at the school right? He has Marlon for a best friend, so there’s no way someone like him could ever feel lonely, right? 

Well, when you consider that he has this whole persona that he plays when around most of the Ericson crew, and the fact that he literally says that they only hear the surface level shit before they stop listening all together, and Marlon probably kept him out for at least a year...... so yeah, I believe he’s lonely... and then Clementine showed up, broke down his wall and listened, chose him when most people wouldn’t, and now he doesn’t feel so lonely. 

Like.... Louis falls for Clementine for a reason, okay? And when she returns those feelings, he’s shocked because he never thought someone like her would choose him, or that she’d even want him to let her in. 

Then they smooch and I die.

Oh, AND he names the song he wrote after her. I mean, something that he created and always wanted to share but people always rejected or made fun of him for it... he played this song for her and then named it after her. Just... it’s too perfect, I can’t-

But yeah, from here on, trust is a big part of their relationship... and okay, lemme talk about one more scene because it’s important to this point--

Louis sharing his backstory at the party.... y’know how I mentioned that Louis doesn’t tell you shit about his past? Well, that’s still pretty true up until this point. While he trusts and adores Clementine, he wasn’t ready to share what got him sent to Ericson in the first place... until the party when they’re reading files and Louis realizes that she should know who she’s taking into battle... and she should know who she’s in a relationship with. 

So he tells the whole group everything-- he came from a rich family, his father refused to let him taking singing lessons, so Louis spent over a year breaking up his parents marriage and threw it in their faces because he was a “vindictive fuckhead.” 

When you remain quiet, he says that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about, the only thing they have in common is the same name... and just, Louis telling Clementine this even though he isn’t that person anymore and has had years to reflect on why the hell he ever did that and let the guilt weigh heavy on him... I’m sure he saw it as risky, y’know? Like what if she found out who he was and didn’t want him anymore? But he wanted to be honest with her?

And well... Clementine’s past ain’t so clean either, and I do wish we had the opportunity to share something with him at some point, but regardless... they’re still together. Clementine still trusts him to come with her and AJ to sneak onto the boat, and she still loves him enough to be in this romantic relationship. 

It’s just... it’s so good, guys. 

3. Forgiveness and family

This goes hand in hand with #2, because while trust is a huge factor in why I love their relationship, forgiveness and found family are just as important. 

So, AJ kills Marlon and everything’s a mess. Louis is a mess of emotions no matter what you do at this point, and I still roll my eyes at everyone who claims that he’s so terrible for behaving the way he does in the beginning of ep2. I actually like that he doesn’t immediately forgive them because that would be stupid, and poor writing on the part of the writers. 

His best friend who he just found out did awful shit was murdered right in front of him because AJ thought that was the right thing to do, even though Marlon had surrendered. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do or what to feel.... so yeah, I can see how he’d be uncomfortable [an understatement] the next morning when Clem and AJ show up to the funeral, I can see why he wouldn’t want to stay no matter what they had to say, and I can see why he wouldn’t feel to great with them around. 

And at this point, you’d think that any relationship he and Clementine could’ve had, any relationship the three of them could’ve had, would be ruined. And y’know, if Louis was replaced with a grudge-holding character or if he had a big ego that prevented him from moving past it all, it would be...  but he’s not like that, so it’s not. 

As I talked about before, this is where Louis is conflicted with himself and everything around him, so I won’t get too into that... but, they bring Clementine and AJ out into the woods after being kicked out, which is interesting that Louis would agree to go with Violet to do that since you’d think he’d just want them gone and that’s it, y’know? 

And he even tries to justify it to himself by being like, “It’s not so bad, you’ve done this before” which... isn’t great, and he knows it, they all know it. 

Oh, and I always have AJ give Louis the gun because Louis will stay behind while Violet heads back, and he’ll give the gun back but... I don’t even know how to explain it. He gets down to AJ’s level and hands him the gun, but when AJ grabs it, Louis tightens his whole grip on it, which makes AJ look directly at him and just.... Louis’ expression.... 

He doesn’t say anything, he just gets back up, looks at both of them, then walks away. It says so much without saying anything. 

Fast forward to the archery scene. I touched on it a bit, but this is a key moment of forgiveness... assuming you aren’t one of those dinguses who picked the “fuck you” option because why would you do that, ya dingus? 

Anyway, they’re still in a bit of an awkward area. Neither of them have openly forgiven each other for what happened, Clementine doesn’t know if he wants her around or not, Louis has come to terms with what happened and understands why AJ did what he did, but hasn’t talked to Clem about it... plus, he’s trying to get better at archery so that he can help fight when the raiders come, so that’s another thing to stress about. 

Clementine goes over to check on him and they finally talk about Marlon and AJ. Louis admits that he feels responsible for what happened... for years, he wasted time with stupid jokes and messing around while Marlon was left with all the stress of leading the school, and it eventually killed him, and Louis didn’t do a damn thing about it. He then goes on to tell Clem if he could, he’d take back sending them into the woods. 

My personal favorite choice here is to forgive him, because that’s what he needed to hear. From this point, Louis, Clementine, and AJ are all on good terms, and I mean... there’s a reason we love our ninja fam. Their dynamic as a whole is so good, and it reflects on why I love clouis so much. 

Like... Louis is able to forgive them for what happened to Marlon, and Clementine and AJ are able to forgive him for sending them out in the woods which resulted in AJ getting shot. Think about that... they overcame something that big. 

Clementine and Louis are in a romantic relationship, AJ adores Louis, and that’s something incredibly important to Clem. If AJ didn’t like Louis or didn’t get along with him? Then Clementine wouldn’t be with him. But Louis is so damn good with AJ in the way he interacts with him. He helped Ruby take care of him when he was shot, he made AJ feel better during the card game when he was sad about not knowing what the world was like before walkers, he’s friendly and caring about him when the visits the dorms,  hung out with him during the party to show him the gramophone, blocked him from Minerva when she was threatening him.... 

Also, when Louis shows up in the woods after the cave scene and AJ goes running to hug him? My heart can’t handle it. 

And all of this happened after all the shit with Marlon. 

You can’t avoid that conflict. No matter what you do, Marlon will always die and you gotta work at rebuilding the relationship with Louis if you want him by your side, and he works to be at your side, as well. I’ll touch more on this in the next entry, just know that this forgiveness is earned rather than just expected... y’know? 

There’s one other key moment I wanna talk about here... and that deals with the bridge scene and Tenn’s death. 

Alright.... the dreaded bridge scene. When Clementine says she trusts AJ to make the right calls back in the caves, AJ will see Louis struggling to get Tenn over the gap and away from the walkers and Minerva, and AJ will make the call to shoot Tenn... which gives Louis enough time to jump across... but now Tenn’s dead and crazy ass Minerva got what she wanted. 

It’s pretty shitty and no one likes it. 

Now, Louis is furious at this, and it’s completely understandable. Again, I know people gave Louis shit for going off at AJ at this point but lemme tell you a thing... his reaction makes sense. Louis asks how AJ could just shoot him like that, and AJ will say he had to otherwise Louis would never see his new house and he did it for him. Louis is even more upset by this, and I usually have Clementine say that AJ saved his life and Tenn was gonna get him killed... and Louis responds with, “So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?”

Which tells me a lot... Gun him down like he was nothing? You mean... you mean like he kinda did with Marlon, Louis? 

To me, this shows that Louis just saw Marlon again.... he’s seeing AJ repeat what happened to Marlon, even after everything they’d been through and he’s overwhelmed with anger, frustration, and heartbreak.... so he grabs AJ and forces him to see what he did. 

“Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that? Look! He's...he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone.”

Now, I don’t agree that this was the right thing for Louis to do in this moment, but I understand why he did it. He’s desperate for AJ to see and realize what his actions have done, that he just killed Tenn. 

However, they don’t have much time to get into it since walkers are coming, and they gotta go. Then we fast forward to the ending with Louis, Clementine, and AJ where they’re talking about seeing other survivors and how Louis is gonna go check them out in the morning, asking AJ to tag along... and I know all choices are canon and all, but for me there is only one correct choice--

“Aren't you still mad I killed Tenn?”

“I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it... Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?”

And then they shake hands. 

And I cry. 

This is so important and honestly, I hate the other options because not only do they throw off the balance of the ninja fam dynamic, but they’re insulting to Louis’ growth as a character over the season. Clouis as a couple, and the three of them with AJ as a found family, these moments of forgiveness are crucial... and once again, they’re earned. 

I adore clouis, but it wouldn’t be as good if AJ didn’t have strong relationships with both Clementine and Louis. 

2. They challenge each other and help one another grow 

One of my favorite things about clouis is that they aren’t afraid to disagree or call each other out for shit. They go through so much together, things that could break a lot of people apart, and they both come out stronger than they were before... and that wouldn’t be possible if they weren’t able to handle challenging each other or handle conflict together. 

Whenever I replay TFS, I never feel like I have to tiptoe around Louis, y’know? I’m never afraid that if I say something he doesn’t like, he’ll throw a tantrum or get pissy and throw it back at me later. 

The worst he ever does is if you tell him to fuck off during the archery scene. He’ll be hurt, try to explain himself, before throwing down his bow and leaving and like.... totally understandable. Also, he’ll say something like, “If we’re on speaking terms” during the card game and he’ll act surprised that you chose to go after him but like.... honestly, the first one if more teasing and the other one is genuine shock. 

Another case like this is when Clementine questions Louis’ survival viewpoint when you go hunting with him and Aasim. He talks about how he views survival as a day-to-day task, but he does get things done. 

Clementine can agree with him here, or she can challenge him, which he will mostly brush off but won’t get annoyed. However, if she doesn’t say anything, he’ll go, “Hey, look. I don't need approval from anybody. I've kept myself alive this long doin' what I'm doin', so...”

Interesting thing to say, Louis. 

Those are just some the smaller things... but bigger things?

Going back to the point I made previously: You can’t avoid conflict with Louis in TFS because his conflict is a major point in the overall story. You have to put in effort when it comes to rebuilding a relationship with Louis. Not only that, but Louis is working to repair it, as well. If he wasn’t, he would’ve told Clementine to fuck off and not bothered. 

Again, it’s annoying when people just immediately turn on Louis the second he’s upset with Clementine because all of this effort from the two of them is great and makes them being together in the end all the more satisfying. It’s interesting, too. If there was zero conflict with Louis and he didn’t get mad at Clem and agreed with her on every little thing, it’d be boring and the relationship wouldn’t feel as genuine or deep. 

Was the whole thing handled perfect? Nah. Could it have been handled better. Yep. But going off what we did get? It’s pretty damn good. 

If Clementine and Louis can make it through AJ killing Marlon, fighting off asshole raiders, breaking into said asshole raiders boat to take back their friends, get captured and escape the boat as it explodes, and survive AJ shooting Tenn and Clementine losing her leg to a bite.... then these two can overcome anything together. Their efforts are rewarded. 

Now, this plays into this bigger idea of them challenging their survival views and outlook on life, and helping them grow as better people. 

Clementine is sometimes so serious even when the situation doesn’t call for it. She’s survival-centric because she didn’t have a choice. She has survived in this world on her own, saw many people die, and had to do what she had to in order to stay alive. When she got AJ, she then had to look after and raise him, too, and teach him how to survive. 

On the other hand, Louis sometimes isn’t serious enough when the situation calls for it. He’s sheltered, having lived behind walls his whole life with a roof over his head and a bed to sleep in. He’s seen his fair share of death, but he’s never been out there alone having to survive. He chooses to enjoy every moment he possible can and that causes him to not look at the future. 

Then they find each other in ep1, and with each passing episode, they’re influenced by the other and grow to be better versions of themselves... and none of it would’ve happened if they gave up on one another.

By the end we have a Clementine who is able to think about things without the frightening aspects of survival, she’s able to sit down and laugh with her friends over a dumb game of cards, to push AJ on a tire swing and watch him color like a little kid, she’s able to rely on someone she’s comfortable with who makes her happy. She’s still the same strong, fierce Clementine that we love, but because of Louis, she’s grown a softer, more vulnerable side that she hasn’t had since the beginning of the series.

We have a Louis who who can now find courage within himself to step forward when he knows something’s wrong, to fight when people need him. He thinks about the future, he feels like Ericson is a home worth protecting and he’d sacrifice himself to make sure it’s safe. He’s let someone in, confided, and now he’s less lonely, he’s overcome a lot of bullshit and survived. He’s still charming, musical Louis, but because of Clementine, he’s grown stronger and more capable, willing to do whatever it takes to take care of his family. 

Say it with me: and none of it would’ve happened if they gave up at the first big thing thrown at them, didn’t learn from one another and were afraid to challenge each other.

1. Building a future together

Alright, we’re finally here at #1... this really feels more like an essay than a T5F but I don’t care, I’m not done... I have more to say about these two.

I wanna talk about the walk back to Ericson right before the bridge scene because it’s pretty much tied to everything else on this list and it perfectly encapsulates why I love clouis so damn much. 

So, after we get the wild cave scene, we’re out in the open when we Louis finds us. We get that sweet moment where everyone hugs, Clementine and Louis hold hands and give each other the looks, and they start to walk back home. 

Louis’ theme, which is my favorite, begins to play as he and Clem walk side by side ahead of AJ and Tenn, and they share even more looks. This is when Louis talks about Dorian, the woman he shot and killed back in the boat. You can tell he doesn’t exactly know how to approach talking about it, but it’s weighing on his mind and he wants to open up to Clem about it... admitting that it’s his first human kill and how he feels about it. 

I like to tell him that it’ll get easier, and even though it’s fucked up, he knows it will. 

Here is where Louis opens up more about himself and his past, something I’ve gone to great lengths here to point out that he doesn’t just do, y’know? But here he does it so comfortably which is drastic compared to when we started where he wouldn’t say anything. He talks about how he always thinks about dumb things when in life or death situations-- his grandma’s phone number, his pet turtle Geoff, how he lost a spelling bee because he misspelled recommend [which is fair, I always wanna put two C’s for some reason?], and then finally... he thought about the house his parents were building before their divorce. 

Louis willingly talking about his parents with Clementine is a pretty big step, especially after he told her what happened with them. 

Then together, they talk about creating their dream home which is not only wholesome and sweet, but it’s Louis’ way of saying he wants to build a home with her, to have a future [something he never thought about before] with her. 

I just.... yeah, he’s aware that it’s an imaginary house, even when he says they’re gonna build it. They’re not gonna be able to build a 914-floor purple mansion with a treehouse, but they can try.... y’know, try to make Ericson that dream home together. 

Clementine never had a secure home, and if she ever did feel comfortable enough in a place to it home, it was taken away from her. She was just a little girl at the motor-inn during S1, and with her parents constantly on her mind then, I doubt she ever saw it as a new home. Same with any other place the visited in S1. 

S2, she was on the move living out in the woods with Christa before going on the move with the cabin group, and no matter what ending you got, where ever she ended up never felt like home for her. 

Then we all know what happened in ANF soo... yeah. 

The first episode of TFS even starts out with Clementine saying she’s trying to find a home for her and AJ, and a little later AJ asks if they’ll ever have one... so this is a pretty damn big deal, okay? 

And when you factor in Louis wanting a future for them when he never cared to look that far and was a lonely person surrounded by people who now has something worth fighting for? I could cry.

What more do I even need to say at this point? 

Their chemistry is strong, deep, and romantic, they powered through so much unavoidable bullshit, they worked hard for their relationship, they’re comfortable and not afraid to lean on each other when needed, they get comfort from being together but aren’t afraid to disagree on things because they know those disagreements aren’t stronger than they are. With AJ and everyone else at Ericson, they’re a family now rather that a group of misfit survivors, and they’re working to change things for the better for Ericson. 

I love everything about them and damn it, they will be happy together every single time I replay TFS because that is what they deserve. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-the flirting between these two is just so damn cute -height difference... just... height difference -The clouis smooches... they’re all good and I wish we got more -Louis saving Clementine from being eaten by using a rock... the beginning of ep4 was wild and seeing him again made everything feel better. -Their interactions during the card games make me so damn happy...  -look, everything that isn’t captured Louis/dead Louis makes me happy, okay? They all get honorable mentions. 

---

This turned out way longer than I anticipated and for that I am sorry. So, what do you think? Lemme know the reasons you love clouis, I’m always down to chat about that! 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Missed Opportunities in 400 Days