#shout out to that author on AO3 who wrote smut based on this scene

[blackkat15]

Like R.I.P. to Agent Fowler but this is insanely hot

Bro Season One Episodes Three and Four of Transformers Prime got me feeling shit.

[vipers-hat]

2019 in Fic

Tagged by @starsandskies love you uwu

Favorite fic you wrote this year:  Blood Dragon 1 and a 1/2. Though the Formerly New Years fic with Grant, Nic and @amistrio‘s Matthew putting John on blast is shaping up to be a fun ride, and technically I wrote some of it on New Years Eve so it counts. 

Least favorite fic you wrote this year: The main one I can think of is Blood on My Name. It’s not bad/I don’t hate it, but I was already like... four chapters in before I realized that for bunker fics you absolutely need a solid plot and I... didn’t have one for the bunker/what’s supposed to be the main brunt of it, and that’s why its suffering now. 

Favorite line/scene you wrote this year:

Haven’t gotten that far in the published part, but in one Last Line Memes for the fake dating AU I have that bit where John’s dealing with Nic’s father for her and her mother and her dad asks him who he is:

 “Me? I’m the monster you should’ve been weaving stories about to your daughter at night instead of beating the shit out of her mother in the next room.”

Also, another Last Line meme thing whose fic didn’t get published yet: 

“Robin Hood and Maid Marian, he’s coming your way. Get ready to tail,” came Cameron Burke’s voice.

“Robin Hood and Maid Marian?” Nicolette Raylan muttered into her mic from her spot right beside him. “Do we really need the codenames? Is this your attempt at bonding again, Burke? Because you’re past the New Guy stage.”

“I don’t mind being called Robin Hood,” John cut in.

“She’s Robin Hood. You’re Marian,” Burke corrected.

John shut his mouth firmly and tried to drown out Nicolette’s answering cackle.

Total number of words you wrote this year:  ~140,000

Most popular fic this year: On AO3: My Way, though technically I published in 2018, most of it was in 2019. Not including that, Blood on My Name. On here: We’ll Meet Again, where me, the Anti Angst Queen, went and got angsty and y’all were very mad. 

Least popular fic this year:  On AO3:  Going off of AO3′s stats where it’s the least popular of the top 5: Helpless. Which personally makes no sense to me, but hey, that’s the style of digging I wanna do currently.  On here: Two little Johnnic ficlets were tied. One where he’s trying to convince her to stay in bed and not go to see Joseph, and John/Nic/Sharky where Sharky was off adventuring with Hurk and they welcome him home . Actually I’m sure the Mafia 3 ones were less popular but I have no idea how I tagged them.

Longest completed fic you wrote this year: My Way, though again, not counting that one, Home, at  4834 words. Because what is this “completed” of which they speak?

Shortest completed fic you wrote this year: That same little “John’s a needy lil shit and wants his wife’s attention focused all on him and not his brother” bit

Longest WIP of the year: Blood on My Name

Shortest WIP of the year: I’ve got an unpublished soulmate AU in the works at about ~700 words so far. 

Favorite character to write about this year: John Seed. Or lbr my gal Nic. Though Cal’s fun too. Is just saying “the Raylans” as a unit cheating? 

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year: Andy Grammer still owns my ass and I’ve written to / had fics based on a good chunk of his discography. 

A fic you didn’t expect to write: Never thought I’d actually do a soulmate AU and yet here we are. Also, forgive the sudden fandom switch but I didn’t expect to EVER breathe life back into my Bitten fic from like... four or five years ago but then y’all finally discovered Jeremy Danvers. It only took y’all two years too long. 

Fic(s) you completed this year: My Way, random oneshots, We’ll Meet Again, Home, etc. I played it safe and kept a lot of stuff short and sweet and all my WIPs suffered, but that’s because I’m an idiot who bites off more than they can chew all the time. 

Fics you’ll continue next year: Blood on My Name, the Tremors AU, the Fake Dating AU, the Soulmate AU, Flu Season 2, that one... US Marshals AU. A L L  T H E   A U s

Current number of WIPs: I’m afraid to look tbh. 

Any new fics to start next year: I mean it’s not ‘start start’ but as mentioned there’s that soulmate AU I want to actively get going with instead of jotting a couple of things down. I wanna try my luck at more than one Gatthew fic but we’ll see. 

Most memorable comment/review:  Again, around the start of the Fandom Drama I Was Unknowingly Involved In That I Only Had an Inkling Was Going On, I had started to sense that people had started to hate Nic/the content I had for her and I was feeling super low about a lot and I threw one of the ficlets up on AO3 or whatever for shits and giggles, someone commented “Yay! Nic’s back!” and I honest to God cried happy tears. Also, general shouting in Discord/jokes about John not deserving Grant OR Matthew somehow giving birth to the Good Ship Gatthew and I love it to pieces. 

Events you participated in this year:  Far Cry 5 Week, and the Secret Santa my discord server is doing. 

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t: Christmas/New Years Eve Gatthew, the Johnnic wedding, and like... three different John/Nic/Sharky smut ideas. 

Favorite fic you read this year/ A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read : The entire series of @amistrio‘s Let the Redeemed of the Father Tell Their Story. I will never shut up about this series, ever, because I love it so much. It’s basically New Divide’s soulmate because it’s the same concept, but gay and also with far superior writing, no, I don’t take criticism, don’t boo me, I’m right. And then comes the No Cult AU for them,   all these blessings shall come upon you (and overtake you). Then comes @chyrstis’  But if we go, we go together John/Hana/Sharky perfection, because solidarity. Hana’s perfect, and the other stuff with Hana in it is just as perfect. 

Number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year: See last again. I really don’t use the bookmark feature for anything. 

Favorite fanfic author of the year: (deep breath) @amistrio @chyrstis @seedlingsinner @seedsplease @geronimo-11 @josephseeds-rosary @jackalopestride @teamhawkeye @foofygoldfish I love you all and your work dearly and I would literally die without both. 

[raendown]

Kakashi, after becoming hokage, discovers that an erotic novel infamous for its beautiful and salacious sex scenes that is considered a work of art and one of the kinkiest things ever put to pen (and that is practically Kakashi's bible)? Written anonymously by Tobirama Senju. He needed to get out all that sexual tension with Madara in some constructive way. (Madara read it years later after a Zetsu found it. He found the style familiar, but dismissed the thought. When Obito found it...well.)

I absolutely had to write a little something for this. It was too good of an idea to pass up even if angst without a happy ending isn’t my favorite jam. 

Also posted to AO3 under the title Subtext. 

Read it there or under the cut!

Subtext

iii.

“Kakashi, how could you!?” The voice which hailed him frombeneath the tree was all too easy to ignore. He’d been ignoring Gai since theywere children so it was almost second nature to simply turn another page andkeep reading. 

“Hm,” was all he said.

“Unbelievable.” Gai shook a fist at him from below. “On aday as gorgeous and youthful as this you’re doing nothing but sitting in a treeand reading a book? How can you be so uninspired? Come, my rival! Let us see whichof us came do twenty five laps around the village the fastest!”

Holding the book just a little closer with one hand, Kakashiwaved the other languidly. “Maa…”

Gai steamed and shouted but Kakashi barely heard him, tooengrossed with the heart-rending world unfolding in the pages before him. 

For all the ‘romance’ novels he read, Kakashi considered himselfsomewhat of a connoisseur. He’d been a fan of Jiraiya’s works not just for the smutbut for the way the reader felt pulled in to an entirely different world, theway the pages breathed such life in to the characters. But this…he barely hadwords for this.

He could hardly believe he’d never read it before! The originalpublication date was so old he was almost surprised there had been enoughpeople back then who unlaced their corsets long enough to enjoy this sort ofthing. Apparently it was so popular it was being reprinted for its 100th yearanniversary and while he found that mind-bogglingly incredible he was alsosupremely disappointed in himself for not discovering it sooner. 

The characters were dynamic, flawed and so realistic he couldpractically picture them sitting across from himself. The settings weredescribed in gorgeous detail, putting him in mind of Fire Country’s forests.The dialogue was spot on and the writing style reserved yet so full of passion.The plot had taken him on an emotional roller coaster the likes of which he hadnever known.

And the smut! The sex scenes were out of this world, thesteamiest he had ever read. They even surpassed Jiraiya’s work - and that wassomething Kakashi hadn’t thought was possible. He could nearly taste the rawhunger of the characters, could almost feel every touch and every gasp. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure how long Gai stayed around to grumble andmoan; this was already his third read through and he still couldn’t put itdown. Whoever wrote this, he hoped they were resting easy in the afterlife.They deserved it for gifting this masterpiece to the world.

ii.

The Zetsu had brought it to him. Madara was fairly sure theZetsu didn’t even look at the contents of the box, just saw that it was full ofbooks and brought it here under his command to find him something to break upthe boredom. Being tethered to an underground cave had its downsides afterall. 

He was grateful, when he pulled out the first book, that the Zetsucouldn’t read. Despite being his creations they were also cheeky littlebuggers, not hesitant to offer opinions to each other from the corners of theirmouths and certainly not afraid to ask embarrassing questions. They definitelywould have had comments and questions both about the book he was readingnow. 

Never in all his life had Madara thought he would find himselfburied underground, attached to the remnants of the God Tree itself, survivingoff of Hashirama’s spliced cells, and reading porn. Or erotica. Romance? Whatever word used didn’tmatter, he was still reading a book about two men having sex with each other.

In all honestly Madara wasn’t even sure why he was reading it.He’d never been with a man before. Certainly he’d had the same fleeting thoughtthat many others had, a curiosity about what it might be like, though he’dnever found himself in a position to sate that curiosity. Truthfully, sexhadn’t been a large part of his life. He had bigger problems to solve thanwhich woman he could convince to tumble in to his bed for a night or how to getrid of them afterwards. Obviously he’d never been the type for an actualrelationship and one night stands seemed a lot of work when he could usually takecare of the urges on his own.

So why, then, did this novel in his hands speak to him so? Hecould barely lift his eyes from the pages, enthralled with the story to thepoint where he almost forgot the world around him. There was something socompelling about the two main characters; he felt almost as though he knewthem, could predict their every word, and yet each new line came as a grippingsurprise. The writing style seemed almost familiar, like he might have knownthe author, but Madara could not for the life of him think who it might have been. 

Who would he have known that would write such filth? Hashiramamight have been so shameless but Hashirama had certainly never had a way withwords like this. 

Checking to make sure the single Zetsu in the cavern with himwas otherwise occupied, Madara settled back more comfortably in to histhrone-like chair and raised the book up higher. The two main characters were inthe midst of a heated debate about the hatred between their clans and hecouldn’t wait to see how it went. Each time they engaged in heated argumentslike this the two men inevitably were overcome with their lust, coming togetherlike fire and water in an explosion of steam and passion.

Whoever wrote this obviously had some fairly good experience tobase it off of. It was nearly enough to make Madara regret that he hadn’tindulged in the act more himself while he’d had the chance. Nearly. 

i.

Setting down his brush after writing the final words of hislatest novel should have been a motion done with triumph, accomplishment, evenrelief. Instead it was done with a heavy heart in a room filled with nothingbut stifling silence. 

Tobirama drew a slow breath in, letting it back out through hisnose as he made sure the ink was dry before closing the manuscript. It wascompleted. He could hardly believe he’d actually done it once let alone severaltimes now. This would make his fourth novel and the final in its series. 

And for what? To relieve the frustration of a desire he knew heshouldn’t have and would never be fulfilled? If he were anyone else he wouldcall himself stupid. He and Madara were enemies - would never be anything else- and he knew that very well. Yet still he could not rid himself of thesesinful thoughts whenever the man was near, whenever they stood toe to toe andscreamed at each other over whatever that day’s argument was about. Theunwanted lust had become nearly unbearable until finally he found an outlet -writing.

He didn’t publish them under his own name of course. He wassurprised they were allowed to be published at all, really, considering thegraphic content he had written. Every terrible, dirty act he had ever wanted topartake in with the one man who would never deign to so much as touch him wascontained within those pages, every dark fantasy and impossible dream writtendown in black and white for anyone to see.

Drawing his hands down his face, Tobirama sat back in his chair,keeping his eyes closed and letting his mind drift away. Things had beenchanging recently. There was a dark feeling in the village these days and, nomatter how his brother closed his eyes to it, even Hashirama had to see itssource. It was only a matter of time before things came to a head in some way.The newly christened village of Konohagakure would be naming a leader soon andTobirama had a fair idea of who that leader would be - as well as how poorlyMadara’s was going to take it. How he reacted to the news remained to beseen. 

There were times when Tobirama allowed himself to look back andtry to pick out the moments of his life he would have changed, things he wouldhave done differently, and try to guess how those choices would have impactedhis life today. If he had not killed Izuna would peace still have been made?Could he and Madara have found common ground and not tainted each conversationwith such festering hatred? 

Would he have shared these dark fantasies that dogged Tobiramaeach and every night?

Sighing, he dropped his hands and rested them upon his freshlycompleted manuscript. Today, he decided, was not a day for introspection. Nouse wondering about what ifs when he had his hands full with the here and now.So instead he gathered his papers and stood to find a package in which to mailthem to his publisher. At least his misery was turning some sort of profit.Honestly he’d thought himself a little depraved for even thinking of half thethings in these books but they were selling far better than he ever could haveimagined. 

He only hoped neither Hashirama nor Madara ever got their handson a copy. Surely it would be all too obvious who the main characters weremodeled after.