#shoulda just waited a bit before posting the first one lol

[time-slink]

‘not gonna color this’ local man says before blacking out and doing exactly that

[callsignbaphomet]

I'm out here doing adult shit, pertaining to the car they left me, that my idiot sister and her idiot husband shoulda done years ago but fuck me sideways, right? Nobody likes doing adult shit but you gotta do it anyway. That man is the actual physical embodiment of the word man-child.

Edit: finished this at home. Been at this nonsense all day long.

So while waiting for this long ass line I'm gonna talk for a sec about Jelani (the original version).

You look up any of his info in whatever post on here or my account on toyhouse and under gender you'll find it says non-binary.

When I first came up with this character around late 2006 I had his gender as male. He was born male, assigned male at birth, and identified as male. So if people asked about this particular character or in questions I'd say he was male and used he/him pronouns. Through the years and as I developed him I would then answer this as "unsure/questioning" 'cause I honestly felt it was right for him and honestly I was set on leaving it as unsure/questioning forever but with time and as I discovered the non-binary option I kinda unofficially used it for him. I just kinda fell in love with that idea for him.

So probably like 2 years (maybe) after sitting on that change and really feeling like it just fit the character I said that he identified as non-binary after years of questioning his gender. So now in questions of the character I put down non-binary because that's how he identifies.

Now, his feelings when it comes to being non-binary doesn't mean that he disowns anything and everything within the spectrum of genders. He's very comfortable with he/him, they/them or she/her pronouns.

In fact, Abigail had asked him if he was okay with her referring to him only by she/her which he's totally okay with and ever since then she only uses she/her pronouns when addressing Jelani.

As for how he presents himself, he's basically just masc. He dresses masc, he presents as masc, behaves as masc--you get the idea.

"Okay but he paints his nails and uses eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow."

Okay, and? That shit is for any gender. He. Still. Presents. Himself. As. Masculine. He uses any pronoun but he himself says he's Sanaa's son, Loke's brother, Jelani's grandson, Angelus's husband and so on.

Yes, Angelus sometimes refers to him as his husband but also his spouse (gender neutral) or his wife (Jelani gave him permission to use this for him) as a way to be supportive. He also uses all pronouns for him too.

While we're on the subject of Angelus...he's had he/they for several years now but I recently changed it to he/him, it/its. HOWEVER! The it/its pronouns are only allowed to be used by other queer people.

Abigail also has permission to refer to him as Loke's sister or Ingvarr's daughter or Angelus's wife and so on.

Now, since the start I have had his sexual orientation as pansexual. For the past year and a half I've been kinda playing with it a little. Again, as I've developed him I've played with the idea that after long years he started to kinda question that too.

This feels like an rp session but lol I actually write a fuck ton of bits that I don't publish 'cause they're just little indulgent pieces with no real plot or point or no regard for construction, I just word vomit it into the document. That's where a lot of development comes from.

Anyway, I recently changed his orientation from pansexual to gay.

I always made it clear that even though he was pansexual he had a strong preference for men. In fact, he would often joke that he was more gay than actually pansexual. He has had relationships with women before but they were few and far in between. In fact, at one point he and Ginger were actually a couple. Of the few relationships with women he ever had that one was the longest he had and it only lasted half a year lol.

As the years went by his attraction to women and people who identify as women/female lessened and lessened to the point where he just wasn't interested at all and was only attracted to men and other masc non-binary people. Yes, this absolutely fucking includes trans men. His first romantic partner was a trans man (well, boy, they met when they were around 12 or something like that).

There's no such thing as trans exclusion within my non-evil characters. Ew. Come the fuck on.

I could've just retconned a bunch of stuff but I like doing it this way. It feels natural to how real people explore their identities. So this was just a whole long post just to say Jelani's gay now.

[melonkittii]

hello. im ready to make a thread of my initial thoughts

spoilers under the cut for the eleventh hour gn (obviously) (also its a pretty long post lol)

the opening sequence caught me fully off guard and i like it so much. pair it with the dramatic irony of them yelling at barry towards the end. juicy stuff. love it so much

my favourite running joke with lucretia is her introcard always having some veiled reference to The Events. one of her proficiencies being 'remembering the dead' certainly holds true

lucretia ^v^ face is real. look at her.

i noticed the running background joke of affirmative mugs that aren't actually all that affirmative. it was very funny. World's Sheriff

the ren and taako scene. i feel no need to elaborate

speaking of that though, the opening to magic lessons starts a running motif of taako being actively bad at fire evocation, despite telling everyone that he remembers being very good at it. i wonder if he had someone close who would do that for him instead

i like that taako actively cares abt the others' wellbeing, up to and including waiting for them to join conversations, etc. its noticeable that he pauses and waits for everyone to respond before he continues. he cares ok

ren <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

the lucretia monologue from merle's lunar interlude is, in my opinion, as an expert on Lucretia Moments (tm), one of the most fucked up things she ever says. and seeing it in the comic definitely made me feel a type of way. i love you lucretia. i want to shake you around so bad

correct me if im wrong but lucretia and merle laughing is the first time lucy's ever gotten silly in the comic right? they tend to cut her jokes in favour of playing her more seriously but it was so sweet and refreshing to see her being so comfortable. makes me so excited for the stolen century comic

extremely mad that the "shoulda leaned away" "I LEANED AWAY" joke was lost. but not as devastated as losing the skeleton DnD debate. they cut all of the best travis moments from the arc

changing their death count from like, 8? to well over a hundred was an interesting choice. i think it works well to convey the narrative stakes a little better since they cut the old-june interludes.

i dont know if this was intentional but starting the last loop on chapter 111, which is the exact amount of years that the stolen century and lonely decade span, made me insane. this may be just an innocuous choice though. who knows

losing redmond and luca makes sense definitely and i love more ren screentime but man the running bit of griffin attempting to foreshadow lup over and over again and noone ever getting it is so dear to me. edward and lydia are definitely a better set for that though. rip skeleton man

istus <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 i cried a little over her in my twitter live tweet. kissing the pages

[static noises] in taako's chalice sequence was fully expected and yet i still got blindsided by it somehow. i had to put the book down for a little while. it was the only panel that made me do that

cried a little at glamour springs too. he looks so sad :,(

the crying at taako's sequence certainly didnt prepare me for the emotional state i went into ravens roost in. magnus burnsides i am holding you. i am holding you. i am h

little june looks like istus and i think that is so incredibly good.

YELLED OUT LOUD WHEN THE RED RBE APPEARED. OBVIOUSLY. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SCENE

i already mentioned the dramatic irony but what i love the mot abt this sequence is how like, stressed out barry looks. like he has no grip on this conversation whatsoever. it conveys his desperation really well considering how imposing he's (tried to) be in all other scenes

taako saying lup's name out loud after barry says it is profound to me because one thing that's always fucked me up in the podcast is that before he remembers he never once says it. its always "L-U-P". barry is the only one who remembers how to say her name. so seeing taako say it now was like. gut punch. ow

ignore the rest of this thread because taakitz date is real so who cares about anything else /j. i missed my man so bad. so happy to see him around

i KNEW the drawing would be the ending stinger and it STILL got me. FUCK the suffering game comic will be so good

[mrvlbimbo]

Ok, omfgomfgomfg ilysm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went through like a lot of your blog (I think lol) just now at 11:47 bc idc about sleep and ilysm and your blog!!!!!

Can we get something about reader getting into a fight with a jock because he hit and/or upset Eddie? Like, maybe she could kick his ass but she would also have gotten her fair share of hits?

If you don't want to that is absolutely fine!

I love you so much x1000000000000000000000000000000000

Aaaaa I love this. Also I noticed u liking a bunch of my posts hehe.

I’ve been writing sm fluffy stuff lately I’m in my lovey-dovey era ig. Dw though I’m gonna post some full on smut later today I think.

Warnings: fighting, bruises and blood it’s minimal but it’s there, very mildly suggestive I think

“You talk about him like that again and I will fucking kill you,” she snapped at the jock who had been pestering Eddie all afternoon.

Even before that this guy was causing problems for them, him being the reason they were all in detention.

Maybe they were the ones at fault for saying his mom was “way bangable” and questioning how he could even be her son. But that didn’t give him the right to punch Eddie in the face.

So now they were all sitting in a cold and empty classroom, teacher long gone, waiting for the clock to hit 5:00 so they could leave.

The time was almost up when that idiot opened his mouth, prompting her response which he just chuckled at.

“Munson, control your slut,” the jock grumbled, barely able to get the words out before her fist was colliding with his face.

She got the first hit in so she was at an advantage, the solid rings on her fingers snapping against his jaw harshly as she refused to hold anything back.

Despite her ruthlessness, he was far larger and he also got a few hits in in the short time they were tussling. The time was short because before long Eddie was pulling her away, murmuring something under his breath and urging her to leave with him.

And so they left, a subtly awkward silence following them the whole car ride back to his trailer and until they sat down on the couch together.

She fiddled with her rings, trying to find something to say. This motion drew his eyes to her knuckles, which were busted and bruised from her earlier fight.

“C’mon let’s clean you up,” he grumbled, grabbing her forearm and leading her into the bathroom.

She hopped onto the counter infront of him and let him get to work on her hands. He cleaned and bandaged her knuckles while she looked down at his concentrated expression.

His eyebrows were furrowed in concern and he bit his lip slightly, his big brown eyes narrowing at the cuts on her hand and flinching away from the blood. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said finally.

“Yeah I did,” she replied simply, shrugging her shoulders and moving her torso a bit too much. She flinched and he noticed immediately.

“Take your shirt off,” he demanded.

“Ooooo. Gettin risky. I like your style, Munson,” she teased peeling her shirt off and throwing it on the floor haphazardly.

His fingers ghosted over the bruises that were already showing on her torso. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out, his voice was broken as if he was about to cry.

“Eds. It’s not your fault.” She brought her bandaged hands up to cup his cheeks, forcing him to look at her eyes instead of the purple splotches covering her abdomen.

His fingers dug into her waist in spots where there were no bruises. “Fuck. I shoulda stopped him.”

“Do you remember when we were at that rock concert and that rando grabbed my ass? You just fuckin went apeshit on him, I think you broke his nose.”

“Yeah of course I remember that.” He sighed, remembering the scared look on her face and the way she smiled thankfully at him after he dealt with things. They took a long break from concerts after that, his suggestion even though she assured him it was fine.

“We protect each other, that goes both ways,” she asserted, brushing her thumb over the apple of his cheek.

Without thinking, he closed the distance between them. His lips brushed softly against hers, barely even a kiss but the intention was clear.

“Eddie,” she breathed out, threading her hand in the back of his hair and drawing his mouth back to hers. This kiss was much more intense, her tongue slipping into his mouth as he moaned into it.

He pulled back, looking at her sparkling eyes and kiss bitten lips. “That was…wow.” He shook his head, trying to make sure this wasn’t all a dream.

“That was wow,” she giggled, fingers clasped around the neck of his shirt to hold his chest to hers.

Taglist here:

@angelsarecallin @sebby-staan @niviiera @chaoticgurl @evqans @slut-for-matt-murdock @multihaven @tinyboxxtink @hold-our-destiny @weh-heh-heh @battiebabe216 @captain-satan @avril-reblog-cave @dragon-ash13 @stxvercgersslut @fangirl199812 @variety-fangirl @buckybeefybarnes @strangerthings64

(Lmk if u want to be added)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[shirtlesssammy]

8x06: Southern Comfort

Then:

Garth

Now:

Kearney, Missouri

A husband --possibly in the dog house?- gets run over by his very angry wife, and the audience gets to see the defacement of set dressing I have no desire to see in the first place.

Our boys are STILL fighting about Sam’s year of psychosis and Dean’s year of pining and romantic (and sexual?) frustration. Dean tells Sam he’s ready to talk about Benny whenever. Sam’s so pissed about Benny, but, like, grr, I firmly hold to the fact that Ameila was a figment of Sam’s psychosis because she’s not even close in comparison to their respective distractions to the job. Benny meant more somehow. Sam “Let’s Give the Monsters a Chance” Winchester just wants Dean to kill Benny ---and I haven’t read enough meta to understand why. Dean’s answer, and the only one that matters: “He’s my friend, Sam.” 

I get that this entire scene sets up the episode, but I’m still grrr about it. 

Anyway, the boys head off to their case, and find Garth!

He’s posing as a Texas Ranger. 

Garth is working cases, and he’s the new Bobby. Dean, bby, it’s okay. They go and interview the son of the victim/assailant. He tells them that his parents had a good marriage, and they were high school sweethearts. It makes no sense. His mom is at the hospital -and remembers nothing of the event. 

Assessing the crime scene, Garth finds ectoplasm. It’s green --not black. And Garth tastes it. Dean is not amused. Garth also gets a call from the coroner. The dead guy had the word ‘Alcott’ carved into his chest. 

They interview the wife. She doesn’t remember much --just a LOT of anger. Garth asks about ‘Alcott’ and she talks about her husband going to a dance with Sara Alcott in high school. Sara Alcott’s still alive --so this is a weird ghost possession. 

They head for food. Once at the bar, Garth asks Dean where he was the past year (Sam being locked away in a cabin hallucinating and recovering from his satan delusions.)  He tells Garth that his was in the non-Miami Purgatory. “Man, that’s balls.” Oh, GARTH. 

Dean asks about the confederate bullshit on the walls, and Garth fills them in on the fact that Missouri was a border state. He then reveals the genesis of his current job. He went to college and dental school. His first job was ganking the tooth fairy. 

Scott, the victim’s son, is about to head into a general store when he gets a call from his wife. He sees someone that he’s clearly trying to avoid, and then takes a hit from his asthma inhaler. Grabbing some money, and getting some black goo to ooze out of his ear, he heads inside. 

He’s pouring himself a hot cup of coffee when the dude he clearly didn’t want to see before confronts him. Scott throws the cup of coffee in his face and proceeds to take a shovel to the dude. LIKE WOW. 

But watching a security mirror reveals that he’s really an angry confederate soldier. Of course. 

Later at the scene, Sam, Dean, and Garth learn that Scott didn’t remember anything, felt a whole lot of anger, and the word ‘Sussex’ is scrawled in blood on the cooler door. Also, Garth is wearing Bobby’s hat. 

Oof.

Dean is not amused. 

Sam heads off to interview Sara Alcott Brown. She tells him of her youth. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it’s clear the wife never forgot what happened. Sam flashes to a post-coiltal Sam and Amelia. Amelia confesses she once had a husband. He died in Afghanistan. 

She ran away from her life, and met Sam. 

The team realizes that the dead and the killers all had long held resentments with each other. Garth uncovers some lore from Bobby’s journal: they’re looking for a spectre or an “avenging ghost” that forces you to act on long-held resentments. They discover a nearby grave desecration - it’s the Confederate tomb of the unknown soldier. That night they break into the tomb to burn the bones. Dean delivers a fitting eulogy: “We won.” 

At the jail, the shovel-bashing son from earlier begs for his inhaler. When a deputy fishes it out of evidence, he suddenly goes vengeful and shoots his boss.

At the station, they speculate that the burn job didn’t take because there’s a haunted object being passed from person to person. Sam interviews another officer, who reveals that a deputy with murder in his eyes is on his way to the hospital. Dean pursues. 

Sam and Garth follow up on another lead, and Garth encourages Sam to talk about his feelings. LOL, good luck, buddy! Sam has….ANOTHER FLASHBACK. This time, Amelia tells Sam that she vomited out too many feelings the night before, and she’s gotta go. Sam puppy dog eyes her, but she leaves anyway. (Boris maintains that Amelia was a hallucination, but Natasha now believes that Amelia is the blurry wife in the cursed finale. This...somehow makes the finale worse, for her.)

Sam and Garth talk to a hot librarian about the history of the unknown soldier. Dean, meanwhile, confronts the ghost-mad deputy who’s confronting a nurse or doctor....over a past bad call as a recreational league UMPIRE. smh

Garth and Sam learn that the rumored resident of the unknown soldier’s tomb is one of two estranged brothers. One brother fought for the confederacy and the other for the union. (LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA.) Sam notices a penny necklace in the portrait of the soldier. 

For Hot Librarian Science:

At the hospital, the ghost sniffs Dean and finds him delicious….ly full of anger and betrayal. He jams the penny into Dean’s hand. Sam calls Dean and lets him know about the penny. Too little, too late. Dean’s waiting for them at the motel room and immediately points a gun at Sam. “You shoulda looked for me when I was in Purgatory.” 

Flashback to three days ago which is...a bit jarring. Careless teens play with the items in the soldier’s tomb. One of them pockets the coin, which they use to pay for snacks at a store. Later, the woman from the cold open gets the coin back in change. We get the full chain of custody of the coin - I suppose to show us that it’s super duper hard to shake off that darn ghost. I recall 15x19 and grind my teeth.

Cut back to Dean, who is still ready for MURDER. Dean rattles off a list of grievances from the prior seasons. 

Sam tries to wrest the gun from Dean’s hands and gets knocked across the room for his trouble. Garth intervenes, using himself as a shield, and tries to de-escalate the situation. Sam fails to READ THE ROOM and brings up Benny again. Smh

When Dean lunges for Sam, Garth knocks him one right in the kisser and when Dean reels back the coin drops. Dean’s abruptly himself again.

Garth reaches for the coin to Sam and Dean’s concern. But as we all know, Garth is a PURE SOUL and is therefore immune to vengeful spectres. 

After Garth destroys the coin, he sternly tells Dean to “stop being an idjit” and get along with Sam! They hug, and Dean gives Garth Bobby’s hat back. HEARTS

Alas, the episode doesn’t end on a high note. Sam has one more flashback to his time with - DEEP SIGH - Amelia. Sam comes crawling back to Amelia and finally reveals his sob story about losing his brother. She lets him into her room and they reconcile.

Flash forward in time again. Sam tells Dean Amelia’s full name as though he’s actually dropping her life story. He continues to harangue Dean about keeping Benny a secret. He threatens to kill Benny the next time he sees him and on that positive note, the episode ends. 

Natasha’s takeaway: There are WAY too many confederate flags in this episode with WAY too little judgment about them

I’ll QUOTE Benny the Next Time I See Him!

“Like Purgatory purgatory?” “No. The one in Miami.”

You ganked the tooth fairy? 

You can’t change the past, amigo

 Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[teresa-moyocoyotzin]

short recap of my thoughts on 5x09

okay so i was gonna rewatch the whole episode and do a blow-by-blow reaction post but i’m not sure i’ll have time and i kinda wanna focus on watching my fave scenes from the show before tonight. also, everyone else’s reaction posts p. much sum up my thoughts lol 

nonetheless, i just wanted to give my main takeaways on the episode a week later, in case anyone cares where i’m at going into the finale! gonna go over the things i liked first, anyone who wants to just remain positive and not see any salty takes might wanna just stick to reading the first part b/c i definitely rant a bit at the end lmao. we’re still having a fun time tho 😂

THINGS I LOVED

- i mean... i think we know LOL

- obviously. i loved james and teresa’s i love you scenes, and kisses, and OOF THAT SEX SCENE. if someone had told me we were gonna get that scene back in like 2017??? i probably would have started literally floating. i totally respect that people had very specific ideas of what they wanted out of those scenes and could have different feelings about it but NOT ME BABES I AM ECSTATIC!!! i did go into the episode with a ~feeling~ that we were gonna get at least one ILY in the episode, and i just had a feeling it would be james, or at least that he would say it first. i’ve already explained in my meta about the scenes why i think it makes sense that he said it first and why i love it that he did, so i won’t go into that here. but i went in having really no expectations for it other than that it was gonna happen! i was debating about whether it would happen really casually while they’re talking, or in like a big action scene, or really dramatic or what, and what i would prefer, and i came to the conclusion that i would love it no matter what lol, but i was really into the idea of james just. fucking. saying it. while they’re just talking about something really casually. so therefore i was pretty happy with it when we got sort of a mix! they’re talking about teresa’s insane death trap of a plan so there’s that drama of “i don’t want to lose you esp. not before saying ILY” kinda thing, but it’s also just. so simple and sure! and then teresa’s i love you is like the perfect scene for me where one character is super focused on something else (in this case, trying to protect the woman he loves! agh!) and the other is just like.. i love you!!!! SO GOOD

- let’s see, what the hell else happened in this ep?

- oh okay i really liked james and teresa’s vibes this episode, they were so focused on each other and had this very ride-or-die feeling about them like they knew that each of their plans was increasingly stupid and desperate and might not even get them where they wanna go, but they were IN IT TOGETHER no matter what 😭i wish we had gotten a callback to that line but at this point, i’m p. sure they Know they’re in it together, and we do too. so it’s okay. i love that teresa still asks his input and considers his opinions even if she does her own thing anyways haha 

- oh on that note, i LOVED the moment where their plans to kill Kostya aren’t working and Teresa says something like “If I can meet with him in person, I can kill him myself” and James just has this LOOK that just is the epitome of the “I am in love with a women who is DESIGNED TO STRESS ME OUT” meme lol, it made me giggle, v classic QOTS moment 

- oh and of course, I LOVED that scene with devon and james at the end!!!!!!!! i was also confused about how james was showing all his emotions in that scene esp. since he tries to be stoic about his feelings for Teresa around Devon, but now that i’ve read a few people’s thoughts about, it i’m fully on board w the theory that james and teresa already knew this was coming, b/c they’re smart, and b/c james knows devon wouldn’t have let him walk away to save Teresa at the beginning of the season without motivation (like having him in place to kill her when she’s no longer useful to the CIA) and THEREFORE james was sort of “overacting” to make it believable to devon (and the audience lol) that he didn’t know this was coming, didn’t want to do it, but felt like he had to, rather than the fact that they were already plotting a fake death. that makes a lot of sense to me and makes me really love all the layers to that scene. it does give me a little bit of hope that the finale ~teresa’s not really dead~ reveal will be at least a little well executed and not just shoved in at the very end. we shall see though! 

- alright i think that’s what i loved about the episode, if u don’t wanna hear me bitching about the little things then u should probably stop here!! just have to get out some of my saltiness lol 

THINGS I WAS ANNOYED ABOUT

- i’m just gonna get it out of the way, yes, i too was supremely annoyed at the amount of KA and Pote take suburbia; it was all 1000% predictable down to the raccoon and the cookies, and the point could have been accomplished in exactly 1 scene, maybe 2, certainly not like 10 or however many we got. whatever. ugh. 

- okay. OKAY. chicho. we need to talk about chicho. i for one, am not mad that he called pote, my boy was stressed. I AM HOWEVER, mad at the writers for making pote come back after saying he trusted chicho to take care of teresa now. like. it totally devalued THE WHOLE THING!! imo, pote shoulda stayed his ass at home where we had to watch him settle all episode, and chicho should have gotten THE HERO MOMENT HE DESERVED (esp. cuz he’s on first name basis w teresa now??) which ALSO WOULD HAVE MADE THE SCENE WHERE TERESA GIVES CHICHO THE DISTILLERY AND THE BAR SO! MUCH! MORE! MEANINGFUL!!!!! or just made it make sense at all? like .... i’m just so confused by that whole plotline like what was the point? chicho does nothing but call pote and gets T’s whole legacy in NOLA? 

- and don’t even get me started on how it makes ZERO sense that pote would have had to charge in at the last minute to save teresa when JAMES THE SNIPER W AMAZING AIM WHO IS LITERALLY. IN LOVE WITH HER. is standing outside like. ur telling me james and chicho (who again, is supposed to be her #2 after james now) just stood there like “oh hey pote yeah you go ahead we’ll wait here good luck” like WHAT also.. how did pote get past all the guards that made james stay outside? are we meant to believe pote is that sneaky? y’all. it just. doesn’t make sense. this whole plot situation maddens me more than anythings tbh UGH JUST MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 

- oksana’s daughter..... what’s her name again? idk b/c we only MET HER THIS WEEK....okay this amuses me but i’m also annoyed b/c like. there were so many other women who could have taken that spot in the opening sequence... Lil T, Castel, hell even Isabela??? Like idk how they could have done it but they put so much effort into her plot in the first seasons that i really thought she was gonna end up w/ Teresa in the end.. idk that would have been kind cool, Camila’s two “daughters” eventually working their way out of the life together..again idk how they could have realistically done it but i really do wish it had been someone we met before. if it had to be someone new this season, they could have introduced her earlier instead of one of the seemingly dozens of random guys we knew for 1 episode before they died... like.. give her some depth please. is she even gonna be in the finale? honestly she better be after making us listen to pote welcome her into the family... like the family u were supposed to leave so u could have an actual baby pote? the family that’s literally dispersing as we speak? also.. since when did pote love oksana so much anyways? also...... just.. if teresa’s gonna have some sort of daughter figure or whatever she’s supposed to be, wouldn’t it make sense to have her be the one to give the big welcome to the family speech? idk y’all..... i’m amused but also baffled at the sheer lack of planning behind this. did no one realize they needed someone for the opening scene until like. halfway thru the season? did they plan to have it be castel but they couldn’t get her for filming (hence all the weird castel plots?) INQUIRING MINDS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. it’s whatever tho lol 

- i just hope that what’s-her-name gets a lil bit of plot in the finale esp. since otherwise it might just be pote running around being pissy (i don’t actually think that haha but i am a lil nervous that teresa won’t come back until the last few mins and i’ll have to spend all episode looking at boaz and devon and pote and KA.. i haven’t looked at any spoilers tho so i’m still hopeful! i will probably make a post about my hopes going into the finale a lil later, both realistic and unrealistic :) 

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 17 For Candia (Part 2)--Mini Recap

Hey guys. It’s been a bit, huh?

I haven’t been on Tumblr a bunch lately because I’ve been busy as hell irl for a lot of reasons, but I also hate to leave a thing undone, especially when it’s so close to being done. So I decided to provide at least some level of closure for anyone who might have stumbled across these with no access to the ep and really wants to know how the story ends.

Maybe I’ll do a proper recap at some point but, for now, let’s wrap things up.

This episode is basically a series of Boss Fights standing in for the more significant but less interesting final battle going on in which the Rocks Family face off against all the Important NPCs.

Amethar and Joren together waste Grissini, Amethar saying that he might have been good to Jet, but he’s fighting for the wrong side. (Joren goes down but it’s never really resolved whether he survives or not. I feel like he probably did considering Liam’s epilogue.)

Ally gets their obligatory Nat 20 to intimidate Keradin for the rest of the fight by greatly shaking his faith in the Bulb before icing him. Then he sees the Pontifex watching the fight from the wall of the keep and makes a beeline. 

Amethar, likewise, sees Cal running across the castle wall and breaks from his unit to go after him.

Ciabatta shows up and I am reminded in the absolute DOPEST way that Ruby never used her watersteel dagger. “In sweetness there is strength, bitch.” Ciabatta is toast. 

White flags start to go up. 

Liam catches up to the Pontifex, does the insane amounts of damage that’s just like par for the course for him at this point, and drops her, taking St. Citrina’s Book. 

Cal tries to make for a secret tunnel to escape but Cumulus blocks his path. Amethar blocks him off from the other side. “What’s the last part of my title? Say it.” Cal, being forced to kneel by Cumulus, acknowledges his “Unfallen” title (throwing a man w/ the title “the Unfallen” off a roof and not checking to see if he’s dead is the very height or hubris. That’s some, “Not even God can sink this ship” levels of asking for it) and then attacks. Amethar gets 4 attacks back and his last is a Nat 20, activating Payment Day’s special ability: On a Nat 20 against someone who has killed a member of Amethar’s family? That person instantly dies. Boom. Fight is over just like that. Piece of cake. 

With all the Big Bads dead, the fight is more or less over other than logistics. Or at least it would be if Brennan didn’t have some mind games up his sleeves. As the fight is winding down, Ruby and Rina lock eyes and they both know they have a moment to turn the tide in their favor in their little cold war by attacking the other and striking first. Out of game, Brennan makes Siobhan and Emily decide secretly on slips of paper whether they each want to attack or show compassion. It’s a classic prisoner’s dilemma setup. If they both play nice, it’s golden. If they both attack, it’s even. If you play nice and get betrayed, you’re screwed. 

But like...it’s D20. It’s the Game of Thrones season of D20 but it’s still D20. 

They choose compassion, both of them. 

“Saccharina, you’re an astonishing leader, but I can’t be your subject. But please, I would like to be your sister,” Ruby says, and Siobhan keeps her perfect track record of taking me out in every finale. 

Rina has her guys stand down (to Swifty’s dismay). Ruby tells a skeptical Cara to stand down and choose family (which she does, snapped out of her paranoia by Ruby’s brave move).

Brennan’s attempt at PvP thwarted, Amethar swears on the Book of Leaves that he was named Emperor and Primsy--who is here in too for some reason--recognizes the claim. That leaves the recently (forcibly) vacated throne of Castle Candy to Rina. Which is great for her because Liam remembers the wish seed and uses it to just quadruple Candia in size, the absolute madman. 

We get epilogues! Liam becomes Master Gardener (and also casually says that he brought back the Pontifex and Kerradin to jail them which is wild because that’s not a spell that exists in this world--Ally just brute forced it in in the last second in a line so poetic that Brennan was just forced to let it happen). Cumulus takes a break from snapping chicken’s necks. Theo gets laid. Rina and Ruby do the sister thing and Ruby joins the circus for a while. Cinnamon becomes a vegetarian which mellows out his constant hunger. And Amethar enjoys time with his newly expanded family. For the first time in a while, things are looking sweet. 

A Few Notes

I’m going to fight the editor who had me worried about the “family is exposed” clip all season for the exact wrong reason. But also, gold star. Well played.  

Lol at Brennan not even getting his PvP in the GOT season w/ a prisoner’s dilemma. Like, give it up dude. Watch next season start in media res during a fight to the death to force everyones’ hands. 

On the same topic, very funny that the previous episode it was like, “Loyalties tested! Lines drawn!” and then this episode Theo was like, “Come on guys you shoulda just talked to me. I would never betray you.” It’s like he just wanted to have a dramatic moment. 

MVP this ep is Ruby with the watersteel dagger imo. Like everyone had their moment. And Amethar w/ that Nat 20 was dope but you were kind of waiting for that all season. But I totally forgot Ruby had that dagger. I, like, verbally cheered when she pulled it out. 

I haven’t watched the last AP or the behind the scenes special so I don’t know that much about unseen characters besides what I’ve glimpsed on Twitter/Tumblr but Amand Maillard looks very dope. 

I wish we’d gotten to know more about Citrina. Like I get that if you dump these players in a world, they’re gonna wanna take down The Man and often The Man is The Church and the Pontifex *did* need to go but sometimes people are just Good and I dug her (Citrina’s) vibe in the flashback we got.

I can’t believe Siobhan got me with the “Be my sister/Let me be your sister” stuff in back to back seasons. You’d think I would have developed some resistance in the intervening months. Nope! Weak as ever baybee!  

One Final Thing

One of the reasons I’ve been so busy lately is I’ve been working on my podcast*, Absolutely No Adventures, which is dropping in a tiny bit over a month. The trailer drops on Sunday so if you wanna check that out when it’s out, you can follow the show’s Twitter (@noadventurespod)! I’ll also link it here as my pinned post once it’s up. I hope some of y’all check it out! 

*ONE of my podcasts but one announcement at a time.

[cockbiteproductions]

all prime numbers in the Misc section and all multiples of 10 in the other sections

we shall go backwards as the question list was posted backwards...... (and also why i rbed it.... why is it backwards? i dont know but i love it. edit: now that ive seen question 1 it looks to me like one of those forum profile copy pastes where you fill out the entire thing and put it in your profile.)

200: My crush’s name is: hmm...... well. i would rather not say!!!! they could see this post!!!!!!! and we do not want that happening.......

190: My 1st job was: lifeguard in the summer after 9th or 10th grade i think? it was decently fun. i grew up swimming competitively so the swimming part was a breeze. the remembering what to do if someone is drowning part? a bit harder. memory bad. what to do if someone has a potential broken spine/head injury when they’re in deep water? i don’t know bud. but it involves 3 whole people to get them out. 2 in the water, one person at all times holding their head in line with the rest of their body, the other one strapping them to the board (these two people in the water switch off, too) and then one person standing on the side of the pool looking very concerned. also don’t tell anyone but sometimes if i had like a 6 am shift i would get really groggy and almost fall asleep on the stand.

180: Marriage is: whatever people make of it but unfortunately bogged down with like a lot of societal expectations. to me it just sounds like hanging with your “best” friend until you die but a lot of other people interpret it differently.

170: What did you do yesterday? LOL wouldn’t it be nice if i remembered. wait no i do remember. i woke up “early” and watched a dnd livestream and struggled through buffering from my shit wifi. then i took a nap. then i had a chipotle burrito that was way too spicy. and i played a lot of minecraft. and i wrote a bit. and i also did like another 2-3 pages of the codecademy html intro course im working on.

160: Soul mates: nope. [taylor mason voice] i don’t believe in the concept of a soul. you are compatible with some people more than others and that’s based on your values and interests and personality. nothing Soul about it. it’s fun in fanfic and fiction though, but that’s because it’s fiction.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes..... i like brown hair! but blonde is nice too.

140: Mac or PC: clown face emoji. mac. It’s A Unix System. more convenient for me. my current mac is a giant piece of shit though. though i think that’s my own fault for keeping all my old files from my old mac. shoulda started over. i think i might try to get this one factory reset or something.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk walmart. i go there a lot during college. walmart just has a larger selection. i used to go to target a lot as a kid though because my mom liked it more. i think it’s like slightly more bougie?

120: Gay Marriage: fuckin go for it pals. sad that it took as long as it did to become legal.

110: My Neighbors: they are nice i think. the ones to the right are teachers or something. the ones to the left are.... idk. their kids were like maybe 5 years older than me and my brother when we were growing up though and sometimes they would indulge in us tiny annoying kids and hang with us

100: Cried in front of someone: when the finale of the clone wars came out a few months ago and i was sobbing and i ran into the living room to tell my roommate and friend that i was sobbing. i was sobbing. i also recorded myself watching the entire eps and i Sure Was Sobbing.

90: Texted: actual sms text, yesterday in response to a friend who texted me a tik tok. instant messaging like 20 minutes ago to milo. i havent responded yet because im answering this and i cant multitask for shit.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: me obviously. i think i’m fucking hilarious. me aside, @redvsblue​ is the funniest person on this planet. also my friend holly irl who shares my incredibly dumb sense of humor. also you!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmm........ in general or for me personally? idk..... a lot? i am not a very courageous person. so i guess being brave.

79: First time you had a crush: >:( not appreciating this line of questioning that lines up with the prime numbers/mult of 10. i will not be saying as they ALSO follow me on tumblr. though they don’t use it often. shout out to middle school.......

73: Tomorrow: hopefully wake up around 1 pm at the latest. make a plum smoothie. play some more minecraft and get more netherite (new update slaps). do more coding tutorials. get some writing done. the same ol same ol.

71: Next Summer: hopefully i will have a job lined up for the fall and the pandemic is Over. i would like to just [do nothing] for the last summer Ever before job starts. if i don’t have a job then it’s Job Hunting Time.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: what the fuck...... like in a bad way? good way? cry of laughter? sadness? me, probably. my own damn brain be like “well it’s time to think about Yourself and be sad!” i know. very narcissistic of me. also dave filoni (director, producer, writer on clone wars).

61: My Car: not really mine. i just use it. beige 201? toyota camery. my brother tried to convince my dad he needed it more than i did last school year. my brother, who lived on campus in boston and flies to school from nc when he goes there, needs the car more than me, who lived off campus and drove to and from school to get back to nc, thinks he needed the car more than me. what a guy.

59: The movie I cried at was: last movie huh......... when was the last time i saw a movie? idk probably the rise of skywalker when leia died. i don’t know. i sure as hell didn’t cry at cats.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: i am vegetarian.

47: Who’s your best friend: @worthyghouls​ i guess. but also concept of “best friend” is so weird. No Best Friends. just lots of people i am good friends with. feels weird to all my other friends to pick One of them and be like “well i like you more than everyone else” :)

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: only in the vaguest vaguest vaguest sense. i would like to graduate with my bs degree. i would like to live in a city (doesn’t have to be a super big one. where im at rn is fine). i would like to have my first or second job i feel comfortable doing related to the degree i am getting. i would like to live in my own apartment (with roommates)/not with my parents. i would like to not be rent burdened. i would like my roommate to know how to take care of a cat or be okay with helping me learn how to take care of one. i would like to have a cat with said roommate. and that’s about it tbh. not very ambitious, i know. i just want a simple life......

41: Have you pre-named your children: bold of you to assume i will have children. no. if i ended up with child it would be like that tag on ao3 called “accidental baby acquisition” and i would name it on the spot.

30: Actress: hmm..... lauren marcus. lauren lopez. does fiona nova count if she’s going to be in rvb zero? also lindsay jones. aubrey plaza. idk. not many actresses i follow from project to project. it’s more i will see them in something and appreciate them in that role immensely. 

20: Holiday: halloween is pretty chill. just getting candy from strangers? dope. scary aesthetic? amazing. i also like christmas just for the sole fact that i get time off from [life].

10: Restaurant: a favorite restaurant??? who has one of those???? i sure don’t. and i’m not gonna say something cringey like olive garden or mcdonalds. i simply do not have one.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [so like evening like probably not expecting this] Janis: what you up to tonight Jimmy: What are you about to ask me to do? Janis: Sadly, nothing that exciting Janis: but I need out of this house so if you've got something going on, we can make some #content Jimmy: Find a party and I'll meet you there Janis: Okay Janis: it's been dry so far but not everyone can have decided to be boring all at once Jimmy: have you moved to a new town without telling me? Jimmy: bit rude to make me fake ldr Janis: God, I wish Janis: I need to be several towns over with the noise that being made in this gaff rn Jimmy: They're there and you didn't invite me? That's more than a bit rude, mate 💔 Janis: Oh yeah Janis: sleepover fetish is so real 🤤😍 Jimmy: You know how I feel about you in PJs Jimmy: how dare you Janis: I know you're just gutted you didn't get a chance to see 💀👑 in hers Janis: 💔💔 hurts Jimmy: [brings back the # he started about her only wearing pjs cos I skim re-read that convo post school trip yesterday] Janis: Fine, come over Janis: if you love a throwback that hard Janis: we won't be sharing a room with them though Jimmy: I'd 💕 some enthusiasm Janis: You can have all the snacks they won't eat Jimmy: Has my true love cleared that? Janis: You have to save her from herself Janis: they do it on purpose, it's a binge waiting to happen Jimmy: hot Janis: If you've got a saviour complex Janis: put on your cape, crown of thorns, whatever suits Jimmy: If you've got a short enough memory to forget me saving you from a life threatening injury and nursing you back from the brink Jimmy: suited you then Janis: I remember, if less dramatically and in your favour Janis: but I never said it didn't suit Jimmy: know my audience and how they remember it Jimmy: Give me your address then, Juliet Janis: Hmm, Grace would say you owe her damages, probably Janis: [does, lol soz] Jimmy: she knows where I am if she wants to claim Jimmy: I'll have 'em off you though for taking the piss Janis: Only my parents doing that Janis: I'll pay for an uber if you can cope with the flex Janis: desperate times, like Jimmy: shut up Janis: bit rude Jimmy: bit rude is sending me into the middle of nowt to get 💀🔪🔪 Janis: You can trust me Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 🙂🙂🙂🙂 Jimmy: Stop messing about, rich girl Janis: I ain't, look on street view or some shit, it's a big hippie farmhouse Jimmy: [does so a pause] Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Janis: I'll get you an uber now, yeah? Janis: before they 💀🔪🔪 me in some sleepover satanic ritual Jimmy: I can't have them fucking with our pact Janis: my hero 💘 Jimmy: there's your first caption sorted Janis: I'll think of something as mushy for you in the meantime Jimmy: do you need owt other than a ✞? I'm at the shop Janis: 🤔 Janis: get a like meal for two I can pretend I cooked Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I assume you've got 🚬s Jimmy: I'll grab drinks though Janis: can do Janis: we have some shit here too though Jimmy: What's #goals when you're not drinking a flat white? Janis: if it's pink and alcoholic Jimmy: [sends her pics of different drinks like rose wine or pink gin or whatever else like ?] Janis: Better go gin Janis: it is an emergency Jimmy: [when that's got mum energy so you're lowkey triggered and don't reply] Janis: [when you think it's 'cos it was too pricey or something so you're like oh no faux pas] Janis: the rose would be fine too, I'm not fussy, as you know by now Jimmy: [thinking about Harry too now but sends a selfie from the uber with the gin secured like everything's fine] Janis: 😍 Janis: should I socials that? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: idk how vain you're feeling Janis: maybe you wanna fix your hair Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: if I weren't I wouldn't be coming to mess up yours Janis: 😏 Janis: [does post it, with all that enthusiasm about him coming that is so fake uhuh] Jimmy: [a cute little back and forth in the comments while he's on route] Janis: [one of them clearly has liked it so now they know they know] Janis: There we go, committed now Jimmy: [love that though cos it gives them an excuse to go harder with it which he would and is] Jimmy: Is that a record or what? Janis: wait 'til you see their creepy faces fogging up the glass Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: no horror films needed Janis: got the setting Janis: even if I 🤞 I'm here, like Jimmy: Promise you'll protect me Janis: 💪 babe Janis: you're safe with me Jimmy: Say it then Janis: What? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Oh Janis: I promise I'll protect you from 💀👑 and her underlings Janis: salt circles all ready, like Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: you're feeling generous Janis: have you opened that pink gin without me Jimmy: you ain't feeling any trust towards me Jimmy: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: I'm trusting you with my life rn Janis: you've got to fend off the pillows in the night Jimmy: hot Janis: glad you think so Jimmy: oi, be glad you know it Jimmy: that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: Add it to my collection Janis: 🎟🎟🎟🎟 what do I win when I get enough? Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: fuck a 🧸 obvs Jimmy: If that's what you're getting me to this sleepover for, steady on Jimmy: he can buy me a drink first instead of making me bring my own Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: stop Janis: his plans are set and he is gutted Janis: 🚫 sneaking out Jimmy: me an' all, put in loads of groundwork on that trip Jimmy: treating him mean and all that bollocks Janis: 💔🎻🎻💔 Janis: when it was all a cunning ruse to see Mr. Bear again Jimmy: It's my turn to cheat, Joanne Janis: you'll have to take your free pass to the bathroom 'cos we can't not share a room Janis: and I don't need to witness that tah Jimmy: It's alright, I won't kiss him on the mouth Janis: she probably practices on him Janis: it'll be sticky Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: I said I never opened the gin not that I ain't drank nowt Janis: such a lightweight Jimmy: Leave it out, pisshead Jimmy: I didn't know you were gonna 🍑📞 Janis: Do you feel cheap? Janis: 'cos that ride ain't, so don't worry boo 😘 Jimmy: I ain't been in an uber before, how could I not feel 🤑🤑 Janis: 🤞 you get here unmurdered and unmolested Janis: driver gonna ruin my night, like Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: that might make my night 💕👴 Janis: obviously, I am here to ruin your night Janis: 🍑📞 shoulda let you know Janis: were you out? Jimmy: With who, my other fake girlfriend? Janis: I can be that jealous Janis: they'd pretend they didn't love that but they so would Jimmy: I'd drink to it Janis: [a picture of 🧸 in the washing machine like 'bout to drown a bitch for you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: sod nudes, get you a girl who sends 💀💀💀 threats she's about to follow through on Janis: you're so welcome Janis: he'll be date ready and so will you 🍆💦💦 Jimmy: Depends if they've set a trap on the front door Janis: There's no way they'll be ready for gentlemen callers that soon Janis: you could be travelling from the fucking moon and they'd still be hiding Jimmy: Asia's always ready for me, babe Jimmy: The tall one an' all Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: soz that you thought you were my only starcrossed lover Janis: Of course not Janis: just the idea of those two doing anything beyond 😭 makes me wanna 💀💀💀 obvs Jimmy: I might 🤢🤢🤢 which is 💀👑 ultimate kink so please shut up Janis: Errm they're your lovers, not mine Jimmy: sound more gutted, mate Janis: what is it this time Janis: 😍 for you or them Jimmy: Me obvs Jimmy: keep up, girl Janis: thanks for saying I'm doing a 🥇🏆 job Jimmy: You're not gay, Judith Jimmy: And even if you were, you ain't 🥇 enough to fake 😍 for them Janis: that was very affirming and then rude Janis: but I'll take it Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: I'd offer you a gold star but that's a bit Janis: insulting at this point Jimmy: I never thought you were Janis: ? Jimmy: Why did you reckon I thought you were gay? Janis: 'cos you said I was obsessed with them Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: I said the bollocks they say and do is more important to you than it is to me Janis: You might wanna work on your phrasing then Janis: but idc Jimmy: Alright Janis: but for the record, I only think you're gay for Dan Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: v offensive that I've not affirmed your heterosexuality in his 👀 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: I won't Janis: deeply wounded Jimmy: Tah for the warning so I don't go arse over in the blood Janis: not a very heroic way to die Janis: even Romeo did better Jimmy: He had Bill, I'm holding my own 🖋 Janis: hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: [tweets that gem] Jimmy: [having another flirt via socials] Janis: [love that for you] Jimmy: Have you got a balcony? Janis: Sadly not Janis: been let down big time there Jimmy: And I couldn't fit the 🎻 in my overnight bag Janis: Just when we needed it most Jimmy: it's a piss poor shout, I'm sorry baby Janis: It's alright, in terms of convincing them we're fucking all night, probably need a less 💔 soundtrack Jimmy: 👍 or 👎 to Romeo + Juliet soundtrack? Janis: yes Janis: of course Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: For an all nighter we've got our Easter Rising one an' all, Tah Dan Janis: He'll be thrilled he's having a hand in our fictional fuckfest, I'm sure Janis: a hand in was the best choice of words there Jimmy: He'll be getting me through it 🍆💦💦 Janis: 🤤 hard same Janis: you were such a cockblock Jimmy: Invite him over, I'll go home Janis: He probably has a curfew Janis: God bless Jimmy: Bringing him into it an' all again Janis: He does reside here Janis: apparently Janis: I've never seen him and he doesn't do any chores but Jimmy: holy 👻 and unholy 👻 boy in your gaff Jimmy: might be a scrap Janis: you'll be buzzin' then Janis: making your night over and over, babe Jimmy: can't stop being #goals you Janis: not an amateur Jimmy: loads of time to prove it in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You do sleepovers with your mates before? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 🤷 Janis: curious Janis: not as talked about Janis: what do boys do Jimmy: What do you reckon? Jimmy: I'd be gutted to 💔 you Janis: Obviously I'm 💔 that you don't talk about girls and 'practice' kissing Janis: but if you confirm you just play videogames and drink cheap beers on the low, I think I'll survive Jimmy: We do talk about girls but there's no need to practice kissing when you're this 😎🏆 Janis: 😏 okay Janis: not sharing your expertise is selfish of you Jimmy: My ex shared it round plenty, don't worry Jimmy: Half the north knows my tips and tricks Janis: Bummer Janis: No thinking I'm special then, I hear you Jimmy: I can't stop you thinking owt Janis: It's alright, I'm specials in every other way Jimmy: Bighead strikes again Janis: yeah, try and deny it, dickhead Jimmy: That you think you're special? Janis: You know what I meant Janis: you 🙊 me 🙉 Jimmy: Oi I'm 🦍 Jimmy: Ask my man Janis: You're SO hench, babe Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: I'm SO lucky Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: You picked a film for us to not watch yet? Janis: I'm debating what the worst romcom of all time is Jimmy: [sends her a little list because he's had a nightmare girlfriend] Jimmy: off the top of my head Janis: kink unlocked Janis: that's worse than any of the others so far, God Janis: deviant Jimmy: Piss off Janis: No wonder they all love you Jimmy: They ain't unlocked any of my kinks, real or fake Janis: Are you sure? Janis: they're accomplished stalkers if fuck all else, like Jimmy: I don't have a tinder with 'em listed Jimmy: What are they gonna stalk? Janis: Yo 🧠 Janis: vampire style Jimmy: You're the only 🧛 I've met Janis: 😏 Janis: and I'd do it again Janis: were I not bound to protect you Jimmy: Crack on Jimmy: If we're meant to be pulling a 💕 all nighter you'll have to do something Janis: If we're convincing enough, they'll spread it 'fore us Janis: spare your precious skin Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: [is extra on socials again for the final time like see how convincing I am] Janis: I know it didn't hurt that bad, baby Jimmy: Do you? Janis: Did it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: That's not fair Janis: if I Mike Tyson'd you you have to say Jimmy: I'll tell you in my oscar speech Janis: You'll be thanking me then Janis: ha, knew you loved it Jimmy: for the adversity Jimmy: tah Janis: pisstake Jimmy: you Janis: ☝ boy Jimmy: Why are you trying to truth or dare me before I'm in the door? Calm it down, Joan Janis: Party don't start 'til you walk in? Janis: Psh Jimmy: I need an audience and a stage, Bill can relate Janis: Duh Janis: what it's all about Jimmy: #whenshegetsyou Janis: we're a step away from a contract Jimmy: 🩸🖋💌 Janis: trying to tempt me with some bloodletting Janis: 😳 is it hot in here Jimmy: I wanna get my 🎟🎟🎟🎟🎟 too Janis: you already knew that one Janis: #eargate Jimmy: Yeah but now you're in the mood Jimmy: might let loads slip Janis: You'll have to work harder than this Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: did your driver co-write that or Jimmy: You can ask him when you pay him, that won't be weird Janis: just wondering where the audience is Jimmy: Post it if you wanna find them, not gonna be far away Janis: [does not] Janis: I'm not going to make you meet my parents, by the way Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Should be a rule that Jimmy: I'd bleed to keep you away from mine Janis: Now you're just trying to be hot Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: #effortless Janis: you better not be in that car Janis: not paying your cleaning bill too Jimmy: It's behind the ear you didn't take off Jimmy: We're alright Janis: Can't say I'm not fair 😏 Jimmy: Not when anyone's about Janis: I know the audience too Jimmy: Be a long night if you don't Janis: shut up Janis: they'll crash before we do anyway Janis: then you can actually do what you want Jimmy: I know you wanna talk about girls and play videogames like a northern lad Jimmy: 🥧🥔🍺 weren't the meal deal though 💔 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oh no, however will I cope Jimmy: I dunno, mate Jimmy: I'll have to double up on the heroics, me Janis: you're allowed to sleep, you know Janis: overtime ain't an all-nighter too Jimmy: might do but I only chucked the one bottle in my basket Janis: we've got some great sleeping pills Janis: dessert 💕 Jimmy: You're alright Janis: 🤷 Janis: not on commission Jimmy: You must know the audience if you're trying to knock me out this hard Janis: How long can we be in each other's company before you try to seriously injure me Janis: nothing but self-preservation here Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I know my own 💪🏆 Janis: Doing it on purpose don't make it no better Janis: 'less I asked for it, obvs Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'Cause if that's a #kinkunlocked I'll have my 🎟 Janis: 🙊 Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: 💀👑 is definitely a freak Janis: probably just encourage her to keep 👀 Jimmy: 🍿 or 📹? Janis: cotton balls soaked in 0cal 'butter' spray Jimmy: 😋😋😋 Janis: though if she were to 📹 wouldn't be the first time Janis: still getting tagged 🙄 Jimmy: #same Janis: hmm, at least your tits aren't low-key out Jimmy: I'll get 'em out tonight Jimmy: Only fair Janis: 😂 Janis: clearly dying to anyway Jimmy: They're 🥇 I gotta keep it #goals Janis: this town ain't big enough for both our heads Jimmy: It's alright, I ain't gonna be here long Janis: Nah? Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: Yeah, well convincing that one Jimmy: Not on the clock yet Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 💀👑 got you plaiting or 💅? Either way you're gonna need some glue Janis: not touching her without gloves Janis: one of your girlfriends is asking about you Jimmy: Duh we'd get caught for the 🔪🔪💀 before we had chance to piss off anywhere Jimmy: Which one? Janis: you're pissing off anyway, I'll have to live, murder and die here Janis: now you're interested Jimmy: Oh come on, baby, where I go, you go 💕 Janis: you can drop me off the first place that isn't here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kink unlocked Janis: have a 🎟 Jimmy: Common sense ain't one Janis: don't tell me what my kinks are and aren't, boy Janis: you're not in control like that Jimmy: I'm 👮🚔 remember Jimmy: might be a kink division Janis: you are ridiculous Janis: and garda ain't telling me nothing Jimmy: I ain't a paddy, law's different up North, that'll be why it's grim Janis: I've seen the procedurals, mate Janis: you aren't old and grizzled enough to be the maverick Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You'll make the driver 😳 Janis: 🤞 you crash, of course Jimmy: Not unless it's right outside yours and you can throw yourself in front as we do Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact not 👻 me and widow you Janis: but you love black Janis: but fine, I'll throw myself on the wreckage Jimmy: on me, give a shit what you wear, hun Janis: fine, I'll go play dress up with them Janis: good luck faking 😍 then Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: 1. PJs or I ain't coming in Jimmy: 2. maybe I wanna be pretty an' all, bit rude not to wait for the love of your life Jimmy: 3. 🥇 or nowt Janis: 1. admit you care more Janis: 2. you're pretty enough, sweetheart Janis: 3. 💪 Jimmy: More than what? Janis: just more than you protesting Jimmy: About what? Janis: that you don't give a shit what I wear Janis: you started a # Jimmy: Mr Lucas gives a shit what you wear, I just fake it Janis: real mvp Janis: he'd be way more buzzing my parents were out Jimmy: probably a bit late to invite him Jimmy: I reckon I'm here near enough Janis: know how you feel about threesomes Janis: I'll come find you Jimmy: first off, it were you who 🚫 my proposition for us and that dickhead of yours to have one Jimmy: second, you better had, you did 🤞 Janis: Was not Janis: and he's not MY dickhead, just a dickhead, don't put that on me Janis: [meeting him dramatically 'cos they watching, turning her eyes up to the window so he can see] Jimmy: [we know he's gonna go with it and we know why so] Janis: [we all know you're both grateful for an excuse to kiss each other on sight] Jimmy: [pick her up boy even though you'll have to put down what you're carrying #priorities] Janis: [when y'all would NEVER let a man lmao] Jimmy: [we all know y'all are lowkey like DON'T TOUCH ME] Janis: [tbf a boy was like i can pick you up when i was like 13 and i was like you can't and then he tried and was like oh you're heavy rude you're just weak] Jimmy: [I'm so 😡] Janis: [don't need that potential trigger in your life ladies] Jimmy: [I'm dying though like get inside you two, there's never any need to go as hard or long as you do] Janis: [so method lol] Jimmy: [Gotta like throw the food at her as soon as you're inside because a second has passed without being rude and god forbid] Janis: [just judging his choices like hmm 'cos same] Jimmy: [😒 like oi as if he's not just been rude but opening the gin even before there's glasses #calm down] Janis: [raising a brow but not saying anything 'cos you're like yeah, fair, pointing him over to wherever the glasses are so you can fake cook this meal real quick] Jimmy: [raising his own like oh you fancy as if he was just gonna swig it from the bottle forever but pours some into her mouth first because so needed and shamelessly flirty all the time before going to sort glasses like nothing even happened okay] Janis: ['have some decorum, boy' 😏 until he does that then you're like 😳 'tryna get me drunk too' tutting dramatically] Jimmy: [just shakes his head also 😏 at the words and the tuts 'Don't worry, I know, wouldn't be very goals, that'] Janis: [shrugs 'depends'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I know it would be for you but we don't set the goals] Janis: [looking back 'til the microwave pings and brings you back 'round 'you've seen 'em at parties, right pissheads'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'You're a lightweight, and we've got content to create' realises that rhymes and does a little flourish in the air like he's writing with a pen cos poet and nerd] Janis: [when you can't help but lol, even though you're trying to 🙄 is creating #content already and making this meal look #aesthetic and #goals for the 'gram before pushing a plate at him like there you go] Jimmy: [control your 😍 over her cute laugh by acting like that food is so interesting and important] Janis: [but don't control it too hard 'cos cringe couples always take pics of each other eating so get ready for your closeup boy] Jimmy: [that's tea and you know they are seeing/interacting with all this nonsense so you gotta go for it] Janis: [hence you know to stay out the kitchen but you won't, like what you need ladies] Jimmy: [thank god they'd hear them coming so he can be like come sit on my lap for a sec as if that's where she's been the whole time, just not practical, I'd throw food all over you by accident boo] Janis: [again, doing things y'all would never do, and we know you two love this so] Jimmy: [like I'mma just feed you something girl let's see how hard we can trigger Mia] Janis: [how you don't lol, just permanent 😏 like living your best life] Jimmy: [we've only just begun to live] Janis: [classic 'oh you've got something here-' and shamelessly caressing his face] Jimmy: [shameless makeout sesh ensues because if you stay now gals you're the ones making it weird] Janis: [clearly overstaying your welcome for slightly too long before making a comment and running off giggling like you're 12] Jimmy: [let you go 🚬 once they're gone boy cos longest uber ride ever] Janis: [truly, the struggle is so real, wait 'til we make you go on the bus that goes all 'round the houses lol] Jimmy: [hasn't invited her cos we back to being rude obvs] Janis: [so charming lol, on the sofa like 😒] Jimmy: [when you're ages and we know it's because you always need all the moments after kissing her] Janis: you want me to pay for 🚬 or what Jimmy: Save the flex for one that's more #relatable to the fans Janis: I asked if you'd got 'em, could've warned me if I weren't getting none, like Jimmy: Come here Janis: You can save it for me Janis: take breaks in shifts Janis: professional Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👌 Janis: soz, btw Jimmy: For what? Janis: not brushing my teeth Janis: know its a big pet peeve Jimmy: used to how minging you are by now, Josephine Janis: if you gave some warning Janis: face hugger Jimmy: soz I can't always hear 💀👑's bones creaking, bit deaf, me Jimmy: might be the one ear Jimmy: and anyway it depends Janis: It's romantic, you wanna be a great artiste, don't you Janis: and what does it depend on then Jimmy: Why would I wanna be owt of the sort? Jimmy: It depends what lads you've had round before me, what else? Janis: get bitches get money Janis: obvs Janis: I was talking about being mid-dinner, don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: 👌 Janis: will ask about getting that revolving door installed though Janis: tah for the reminder Jimmy: Gracie'll be 👍 when you do Janis: yeah Janis: whole house full of slags, like Jimmy: you do live in the middle of nowt, gotta have something to do Janis: decent excuse Jimmy: only so much horse riding even a rich girl can do Janis: one in the same if you're that kind of rich girl Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: obvs Janis: have to have one to pay for the other Janis: basic maths Jimmy: Alright 🤓 Janis: giving you 💰 tips for nothing here Jimmy: can't take it with me Janis: why not Jimmy: What do you mean? Jimmy: I reckon hell's got a free bar in the very least Janis: Optimistic Janis: I've at least heard that passage, like Janis: you'd be so lucky Jimmy: if you want the pessimistic angle, it'll rot in the ground Jimmy: got that covered Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [comes back in cos can't be out there forever] Janis: [puts hand out like gimme 'cos obvs you need to leave immediately] Jimmy: [does but also gives her look like bit rude] Janis: [a look like you started it but still saying thanks, not a heathen] Jimmy: [chucks her his jacket/hoodie or whatever even though it's april] Janis: ['good thinking' as she walks out the door] Jimmy: [drink your gin boy] Janis: [clearly taking a cute selfie in that, minus cigarette] Jimmy: [be extra fake to hide how good you think she actually looks please] Janis: [ah the fakery of it all this is fine lollol] Jimmy: [I'm gonna give her a bit then have him come out like he DESPERATELY needs something from his pocket suddenly 1. what even would that be boy 2. no you don't 3. you also don't need to be so hot about it like reaching over her and all that jazz] Janis: [just a LOOK] Jimmy: [when your plan was to just walk away but of course you have to give her a look back] Janis: [offering out the 🚬 like he didn't just have his own, but then doing the sexy blowback moment when he's like okay] Jimmy: [he's just dying now, aren't we all, like didn't expect that did you bitch] Janis: [definition of 😏] Jimmy: [walk away Jimothy you're in too deep] Jimmy: [but I like to imagine he walks into one of the flat whites when he's all flustered, feed that narrative even by accident lads] Janis: [joy of joys, poor boy lol] Janis: you can pick a film Janis: one you might actually wanna watch then one to switch back to Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: 👍 Janis: Brb, I'll go pretend to do what girls do Janis: [comes in but goes upstairs] Jimmy: [we all know he's watching her go, boy be careful] Janis: [we all throwing all the glances like this ain't a dangerous game] Jimmy: [take the time she's upstairs to calm down please and thank you sir] Janis: [we out here brushing out teeth obvs] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but at least being in there can give you the idea for bathgate] Janis: [🔥💡] Jimmy: [what could possibly go wrong like] Janis: [hohahaha] Jimmy: [sending her some of his fave comments from what they've posted so far cos shady bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos likewise] Janis: wish Dan would comment though Janis: what's he up to Jimmy: 💔💔 Hang on Jimmy: [has a stalk and likewise sends her his fave things he finds] Janis: awh Janis: what a man Jimmy: that his missus? Jimmy: 🔪🔪 Janis: so jealous Janis: learn to be fake happy Jimmy: in a bit, gotta go arrange a 🥇 threesome Jimmy: be really happy after Janis: wait 'til you're off the clock Janis: do whatever you want then Jimmy: UGH Janis: it's mutual Jimmy: 🤞 that's what Dan's girlfriend'll say Janis: she's dating Dan Janis: her lack of sense and taste is obvious and in your favour, congrats Jimmy: I KNOW HE'S SOOOOOOOO 🥇👑😍🏆💪 Jimmy: tah for the #hype babes Jimmy: I reckon now I can 🎯 Janis: [comes down like let's get this over with] Jimmy: [puts on whatever he can bear to watch cos even the flat whites ain't gonna appear that quick] Janis: [and sitting as far apart as you can without it being impossible to be all over each other in 5 secs when needed] Jimmy: [does top up her drink for her though cos isn't as rude as he pretends to be] Janis: [cheers and drinks that too fast] Jimmy: [he's gone the other way and barely touched his because he's like I'm clearly too drunk rn after what happened with the blowbacks] Janis: [ah the confusion and awkwardness] Jimmy: [just on his phone even though he should wanna watch this since he picked it lol] Janis: [getting herself more drink that isn't gin] Jimmy: [wise move babe] Janis: [although mixing perhaps isn't, but rude like that and it isn't as if you've hung with anyone in time now nevermind the clusterfuck of what is this] Jimmy: [Christ knows what he had to drink before he got here so likewise a dickhead and likewise antisocial we know] Janis: [can't leave this forever though have some of 'em run through like we need drinks or whatever they're coming up with, so you gotta low-key launch yourself at him and get into some kind of snuggle position like oh hey but also not hey, only 😍 for him soz] Jimmy: [he changed it to a rom-com cos good reflexes though] Janis: [offering them the gin like I'm such a nice person and I'm so good here 'cos that'll piss Mia off] Jimmy: [when you have to snuggle her extra hard cos you're trying not to lol] Janis: [tickling him 'cos PDA comes in so many forms why are you just watching this lmao] Jimmy: [when he'd be so mad about it but all he can do rn is playfight cos gotta be 😍] Janis: [when you know it so now you're loling too with secret 😏 that only he gonna pick up on] Jimmy: [gotta exploit wherever she's most ticklish like 😏] Janis: [regrets, you have none, even though you're dying] Jimmy: [just having fun working out all the bae's ticklish places like this is so casual] Janis: [all 'oh my god, stop' in that fake ass don't stop way] Jimmy: ['make me' cos we all know what that means haha] Janis: [mmmmmakeout time, take your cue to leave] Jimmy: [when you're so into it you don't notice that they've left for a bit] Janis: [always think that like how you breaking this up just like, anyway] Jimmy: [honestly forever going 0-1000 and back again like this is fine] Janis: [no wonder you going cray] Jimmy: [literally, unrelated but did Mia take that gin or nah? lol] Janis: [I feel like Asia took it like yay and Mia will tell her off lmao] Jimmy: [that's real af so I second it and Grace is gonna drink it cos they are doing her head in] Janis: [when you need to get drunk to enjoy your friend's company, happy days] Jimmy: [when your friends are so obsessed with your sister and her man though] Janis: [soz it's a moment babe] Jimmy: [just you wait til bathgate gals] Janis: [oh lordy] Janis: what else do girls like them like then Janis: 'cos you got to admit, it's a laugh getting to 'em and winding them up Jimmy: [a really cute concentration face while he's thinking] Jimmy: Facemasks? Janis: [hiding your 😍 by pulling a pisstakey face] Janis: alright, but I ain't putting any of the weird shit on they do Janis: especially if I end up looking as rough as them Jimmy: Hang on, I'll go ask Gracie if she's got any of those bollocks sheet ones everyone 📷 themselves in Jimmy: What animal do you wanna be? Janis: 🤔 are you serious Jimmy: 🙀 it is then? Alright, I'll ask Jimmy: [Gets up and heads towards the stairs] Janis: you don't even know what room is hers Jimmy: I'll follow the 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [and is] Janis: your ⚰ Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'll chill here and ponder my inevitable grief-fuelled suicide Jimmy: hot Janis: soz you won't be around to 👀 Jimmy: 👻 Janis: a 👻 with a threesome to plan Jimmy: I won't be able to touch nowt so I might as well 👀 you 🔪⚰ Janis: love being 2nd choice Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Dan's missus is 🥈 you're 🥉 my dear Janis: fuck off and hurry up Jimmy: [Comes back with the masks like 😏 and of course puts hers on her even though she easily could herself but gotta have that whole MOMENT of him getting her hair out of the way first cos shamelessly loves touching it] Janis: [when this is somehow more intimate than anything you've done so far so you're like where do I put my eyes] Jimmy: [they're really sticky though and he isn't expecting it so he's like wtf and grossed out but then amused at himself and it's so cute bye] Janis: [yeah they're gross she's probably horrified so that'll break the tension just like what the fuck but lol too] Jimmy: [he's genuinely smiling and loling for the first time since god knows when] Janis: [when he's so cute you have to slap this ridiculous on his face fast] Jimmy: [what animals should they be? I think he should be a 🐼 cos lol] Janis: [that's a popular one, we can say there was a 🐱 'cos why not] Jimmy: [yass take your nerdy selfies lads] Janis: [when they'd still look cute too, arseholes] Jimmy: [I'm as fuming about that as Grace would be that he came to her room when she's been hiding all night] Janis: [things are only gonna get worse soz gurl] Janis: this is a great poker face Janis: [says something #shocking and ridiculous with the dead face it gives you to prove the point] Jimmy: [when you lol and yours slips cos they do and they are crap but you take it off and throw it at her anyway cos it's wet and gross and you hate it] Jimmy: decent weapon an' all Janis: [throwing it right back like excuse me] Janis: you're a child Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: if you wanna go home, phones over there, baby Janis: [throws the masks in the direction of like an animal] Jimmy: [moves like he's gonna get up and go but nudges her playfully instead like what's next] Janis: [ponders seriously] Janis: I need to get this gunk off me Janis: [pulls him up like follow me, does not need to be hand-holding but are going upstairs so you know, just in case] Jimmy: [love it and so does he] Janis: [I say get in that bathroom] Jimmy: [gets in the bath like he did at the party just watching her sort her face out] Janis: [looking at him via the mirror like what are you doing but amused not annoyed] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'What?' like he's not shamelessly looking at her] Janis: [nods like 'you want me to run that or?'] Jimmy: [just reclining in there like a nerd and shrugs] Janis: [shakes her head and comes over, acts like she's leaning over to turn the shower on, but doesn't and instead gets in the other end like, see why you like it so much] Jimmy: [does a hand movement like he's splashing her with imaginary water cos oi] Janis: ['nerd' 😏 but reclining and putting her feet in her lap like don't mind me] Janis: his* Jimmy: [just being soft instead doing the this little pig went to market thing to her toes quietly like it's meant to be under his breath but it's not his own funny version probably cos he is a nerd] Janis: [just letting this be even though being soft freaks you the fuck out on the low 'you're so weird, new kid' under her own but nudging him just in case he's forgotten that that's a ref and not a massive drag] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ah good times cos he obvs remembers 'feels like ages ago that'] Janis: ['yeah' and pausing 'cos truly, so much going down in such a short space of time 'didn't think you'd still be here- not in my bath, like'] Jimmy: [nods cos same] Janis: [when you feel the mood shift so you're like away from that topic 'we'll always have the playlist'] Jimmy: [he obvs puts it on cos that bitch but quietly so Mia and Co don't hear it over their music or film or whatever and judge] Janis: [just like what kinda mood music lol, just grooving lowkey 'well worth the A'] Jimmy: [😍 cos I can't stop him if she's gonna be that much of a babe] Janis: [hitting him back with a 'what?' but in a challenging kinda way] Jimmy: [getting out of the tub like he's just remembered he's still got that mask residue on his face which true but like you don't have to literally deal with it this second] Janis: [just stretching out and back, closing her eyes] Jimmy: [taking his t-shirt off cos he said he'd get his tits out and also it means he can throw it at her playfully before washing his face] Janis: [shook and then 😠 'it stinks' and throwing it back like okay it so clearly doesn't babe] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the fact you're lowkey worried that you do smell like oh no and because you're awks and you don't want her to know, pulling her up to sit on the edge of the bath so you can take a selfie kissing her whilst topless for the fans because that's as far as your contribution to bathgate has got so far] Jimmy: [but then you stop to make sure the bath looks aesthetic and generally faff like she did with the food earlier so excuse to go again for the re-do] Janis: [taking it and reposting it on your story with 😍 over his nips] Jimmy: [🙄 even though you're actually amused cos can't let that show] Janis: ['you wanna be x-rated?' at the 🙄] Jimmy: [Gives her a look like well that depends what you mean even though he knows she ain't suggesting they get x-rated 'cause cheeky like that] Janis: [winks but then gets off of the edge of the bath, going through wherever all the bath lotions and potions are kept 'run it hot, lover boy'] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow but obviously does and draws the infamous love heart with JJ inside in the steam on the mirror] Janis: [bringing over an armful of shit and picking a bottle and pouring a stupid amount in, looking at him like, fill your boots] Jimmy: [when you have fun putting loads of shit in like when you're a kid and you make potions] Janis: [Grace gon' be fuming again, so soz but not really, when there's an aesthetic amount of bubbles and colour going on, taking a deep breath and hoping you did that quiet enough as you take your clothes off like in we get] Jimmy: [puts loud music on so you can pretend you're busy with that not 👀 at her] Janis: [at least there's sooo many bubbles to artfully place lol this is fine this is normal] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like are you sure because you're a soft good boy but you also don't wanna ask because it's gotta be all so fake and you don't care so you're just lowkey taking an age outside that tub pretending it's because you're getting the lighting and angles right and bollocks like that] Janis: [just letting him 'cos not trying to be a pushy bitch but also like, well I've done it now boy so 'you can leave your pants on' but in a tone of, again, I haven't so] Jimmy: [well we know he won't and doesn't cos there's a challenge there and they are always accepted] Janis: [when you don't wanna 👀 but also don't wanna make a massive point of turning away 'cos that's not chill and idgaf attitude so you focus on looking at his face and then instantly regret that 'cos eye contact like oh, we doing this] Jimmy: [such intense eye contact being maintained like okay we just eye fucking rn this is fine] Janis: [when anything and everything you could possibly say rn sounds like double entendre, like is it hot enough for you etc, so you just settle for 'okay?'] Jimmy: [can only nod because likewise can't trust himself to speak atm] Janis: [taking a picture of the bath setup to be like #boydonegood about it but you know you're just buying time before the actual show of it all] Jimmy: [letting that happen because not gonna be a dick about it] Janis: ['you're the photographer, how do we get the best shot?'] Jimmy: [you move boy because we don't need to force her to and have a bubble nip slip when we've only just begun but like obvs position her however you do need to because we're obvs taking this very seriously here and the cute concentration face is back] Janis: [just shamelessly watching him work, but definitely moving closer than he positioned you like is this okay, testing those limits honey] Jimmy: [just says 'Alright' like are you asking her as a question or are you saying you are or are you like we're ready, what's the truth Jimothy] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?' Boy you're so annoying] Janis: [splashes him, using the water to mess up his hair appropriately 'just take the photo then'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna be like 😒 oi but that's actually a good idea when it clicks what she's doing and you take the shameless excuse to be like 'hang on' and run your wet hands through her hair too and we all see you taking your time with that] Janis: [just not breathing 'til he's done 'how do we look?' and a LOOK 'cos you can see how he looks] Jimmy: ['you look-' only breaking that LOOK to stare at her lips honey 'goals, obvs' eventually gets said because focus boy but it's so not what he was gonna say goodbye] Janis: [when you're so frustrated the 'come on then' comes out so easily] Jimmy: [taking so many pics from so many different angles and kissing her in so many different ways like do you need to be this extra, the answer is no but also yes] Janis: [when you're going in, like you're ever uploading more than one of these each like yes, we need all these options] Jimmy: [like we all know at certain points the camera ain't even taking pics but they haven't noticed/ do not care] Janis: [we all know with the amount of shit you put in its gonna be slippery as hell so gonna allow you to legit slip further onto him without it being a shameless oopsies moment] Jimmy: [add to that how good it would feel to not just be stopping and starting like you've had to all night #dangerous] Janis: [when the pretense of making noise for them is so thin at this point like okay] Jimmy: [regretting putting that loud music on now aren't you boy because yeah good luck not making all the sounds ever rn that only she can hear] Janis: [we know no one is stopping to turn it down rn] Jimmy: [they wouldn't stop if the bath fell through the ceiling rn lol] Janis: [true that, just gently pulling him down so he's laying on her like are you even in frame] Jimmy: [we know he's not and nobody's bothered god bless] Janis: [how far are we letting this go/how do we stop 'em lol] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking cos like someone could knock on the bathroom door like excuse you but that might just encourage them more depending on who they think it is] Jimmy: [maybe one of them actually could slip because actually perilous?] Janis: [orrr what if they didn't actually lock the door 'cos when you're faking it'd be bants if they walked in but now it ain't so you'll both be mad] Jimmy: [AMAZING we simply must] Janis: [💀#2 enter] Jimmy: [when you literally can't get out of that bath regardless of what happens because too turned on and even if you grab a towel that's not really gonna hide anything so you're just like ...........] Janis: [at least you can take the lead like get the fuck out bitch Jimmy: [he'd be actually shook though cos like this early on there's a part of him that still doesn't realise how far the flat whites are willing to take shit but then oh hey girl] Janis: [they're just so immature truly, like when Liv was like WE'RE NOT IN YEAR 11 ANYMORE' to Mini lmao like y'all are but still, we're mature laydeez now] Jimmy: [honestly, Grace and Janis would have a reason to be stuck cos their sister died when they were 12, what's y'alls] Janis: [#eatingdisordersquad Jimmy: [And Mia's weird daddy's girl energy ew] Janis: [this is why y'all are only friends with each other, lordy] Jimmy: [I'm intrigued to know what Ava thinks because she didn't exist before and like] Janis: [she'd think they were really tragic and cringe but it's not like she has to hang with them longer than the odd event like Grace's bdays so she wouldn't be like umm your friends] Jimmy: [poor Grace in a toxic relationship with someone for a decade that she doesn't even get to bang] Janis: [come get your toxic friend 'fore she get drowned lmao] Jimmy: [you know Mia would cos can't resist] Janis: [well that's that ruined, just getting out towels and taking one so he can get dried in some semblance of privacy, like] Jimmy: [the levels of fuming] Janis: [some time] Janis: my room is upstairs again Jimmy: 👌 Janis: but if you wanna go Janis: get that Jimmy: And let 💀👑 win? Piss off Jimmy: You're the 🙀 Janis: How am I Jimmy: You scare easily, we worked that out ages ago Janis: Bollocks, you take the piss and have done for ages Jimmy: How do I? Janis: not scared of anything Janis: least of all 💀s Jimmy: Easy to 🗨 Janis: Not as easy to live Janis: but I manage Jimmy: Can you manage to think of owt that'll pay her back or what? Jimmy: You said they'll crash before us Janis: I'm thinking Janis: sure could make her piss herself or shave off her eyebrows but not 12 and it needs to be something better Jimmy: Duh Janis: Clearly not that duh Janis: can't blame 'em for lacking the mental capacities I guess but still will Jimmy: Can't think of nowt when you're starving to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: #relatable Janis: you're thinking of your stomach rn Jimmy: Yeah? Janis: so fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: convention down the hall, go learn some tips Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Hope you're dressed this time Jimmy: They don't so I obvs am Janis: Exactly Janis: probably time for more desperate measures Janis: restraining orders all 'round Jimmy: When should I date yours for, Jules? Jimmy: About a week from now or? Janis: Suits me Janis: works both ways Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where are you actually Janis: it's sinister creepin' about like a 👻 Jimmy: ? Janis: I like to know where everyone is Janis: know where to avoid Janis: don't need repeats Jimmy: I'm outside Jimmy: Avoid the 🚬☁ Janis: Will do Janis: add it to the score I'm keeping though Jimmy: Or just keep up Janis: I'm avoiding your secondhand smoke Janis: put it behind your ear, I'll find it Jimmy: Like I said 🙀 you Jimmy: And you're meant to inhale not bite down Jimmy: so I probably won't put it there Janis: Now who's the pussy Janis: and you told me to Janis: not standing the opposite end of the garden like an overgrown gnome Jimmy: still you then Jimmy: dark's nowt to be scared of, babe Janis: stop saying I'm scared, dickhead Janis: I'm just not a smoker Jimmy: since when, dickhead? Janis: since forever Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: I'm a convincing fake, I know Janis: nothing real about me, remember? Jimmy: 🙄👏🏆 Janis: not that impressive a quote, honestly Janis: you've said better Jimmy: You've done better Janis: 💔 Janis: so sorry Jimmy: I'll be here with the orchestra lads Jimmy: [sends her a little vid of him doing a 🎻 mime] Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: keep that one between us Janis: dunno what that'd imply about the last post but nothing good Jimmy: ❌ my 💘 Janis: deflate your ego more like Janis: can't have you walking 'round like pinhead Jimmy: What ego? Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: Fake dating you, aren't I? Janis: Yeah Janis: you're so lucky Jimmy: Desperate more like Janis: That's obvious Jimmy: Gotta keep it #goals baby Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: can't get enough ever, me Janis: Already said you're fat Janis: preferences in common with them is no surprise to me Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: will have to go home for a 😭😭 Janis: Enjoy Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Enjoy your 🚬 oh wait nah Jimmy: Enjoy the IOU Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: Like you're the only boy with bad habits and a lighter Jimmy: Cavemen invented 🔥 so you'll be grand 🍀 girl Jimmy: if you 🍑📞 party boy now I can kick his uber soon as he gets out, job done Janis: I wanna be disappointed twice in one day like you wanna hang 'round this place Jimmy: so crack on Janis: Funny Jimmy: the joke is I'm still waiting for you to think up a proper idea to piss off them lot Jimmy: sort it out Janis: night's still young Janis: and where's your idea Jimmy: I get it, I look half decent for 45, stop flirting with me and concentrate Janis: What ego? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: I don't know Janis: the problem is everything pisses them off Janis: Grace cries at the drop of a hat, for fuck's sake Janis: it's too easy Jimmy: Alright, what if we give 'em something they really want instead Janis: Self-esteem and good hair? Jimmy: Something they reckon they want but they don't want from us Jimmy: Your gin trick but amplified Jimmy: 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: I see what you're saying Janis: bit too soon to hand out invites to the fake wedding Janis: but if you can stomach it, we can give them the attention they're after Jimmy: 🥇 me Jimmy: Nowt I can't handle Jimmy: Or stomach 'cause I'm obvs such a fat git Janis: if the XXL fits Janis: right, let's go invite ourselves to the sleepover, then 🤢 Jimmy: But it looks better on you, girl 💕 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: you just wanna get your tits out again Jimmy: for you 😘 Janis: I'm sure I won't be able to keep my hands off you, covered titties and company be damned Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: What if this backfires? Jimmy: might reckon I'm bored of you and wanna swap you for my truest love Jimmy: bit too real that Janis: You'll have to resist flirting with them, obviously Janis: but you aren't any good at it so I doubt that'll be an issue Janis: just try not to embarrass yourself Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm just saying if we're so 💕😍😘 why are we getting involved in their bollocks? Janis: Because, I'm such a nice person, and we're so sorry and so embarrassed about earlier? Jimmy: make it at least make fake sense, Jasmine Jimmy: But alright Janis: I don't wanna fuck any of them Janis: sorry 'bout it Janis: I don't know how else you reckon we can 💀💀💀 with 💕 Janis: soz you think you saw us fucking gift baskets Jimmy: Alright, shut up, I might be overthinking it Jimmy: Soz I'm proper 🧠 Janis: What was that about fake sense? Jimmy: What was that about you doing shit 'cause I told you to? Jimmy: 🤐 mate Janis: That's only when I wanted to do the thing anyway Janis: great at giving me excuses, you Jimmy: You wanna have a lovely chat with 'em all then, do you? Jimmy: Sound Janis: suit you if I did Janis: any excuse to ruin their night Jimmy: Suit me if we didn't have to do any talking Jimmy: I'm that romantic, obvs Janis: Done that part Janis: and you were given an out so you've got no room to complain Jimmy: Where and when was I? Janis: I've literally told you to piss off three times Jimmy: And I've told you I ain't letting 💀👑 reckon she scared me off Jimmy: Or reckon I just leave after we're done like every lad she hasn't 🐍 Janis: Alright, your choice Janis: why do you wanna look like an 😇 Jimmy: Why do you want me to look like a twat? Janis: It doesn't make you seem like a twat Jimmy: It makes it seem like a 🍑📞 that ain't what this is Janis: Obviously not Janis: we are love's young dream 🙄 Janis: my parents are only on a date night themselves though so we're gonna have to get in my room and hide you sooner rather than later Jimmy: If you want me to go, say that Janis: I don't care what you do Janis: I'm stuck regardless Janis: just saying, it's a rule, you said that Jimmy: What it is is a 🥇 excuse not to make the 💀💀💀 with 💕 a well slow death Janis: Come on then Janis: mercy kill it is Jimmy: [Appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [avoiding eye contact like it's your job, just a nod like alright and making your way to Grace's room] Jimmy: [pulling her back like hold my hand bitch] Janis: [Clove has entered the chat, also Winnie] Jimmy: [don't think about how he'd look in whatever he packed to wear to sleep] Janis: [don't you think about it ladies, low-key giving 'em evils even though you gotta be nice Jimmy: [I'm loling because Mia would want to tell them to fuck off cos fuming he's still here but what Grace says goes because it's her house bitch and we know she loves Janis more than you so] Janis: [when you're tipsy and just happy they're here to save your night 'cos your friends have just been talking about 'em and boring you lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Jimmy: [they should be painting their nails because ofc and Grace be like offering to do Janis' cos ILY and Jimmy's like I'll do it cos that's the kind of pinterest bullshit but like he'd obvs do a good job cos artsy hoe and pick a colour she actually fucks with] Janis: [just prolonging hand-holding, we all see you boy] Jimmy: [return of the adorable concentration face] Janis: [we love to see it, when we're sneaking peeps] Jimmy: [Grace putting it on her story to do the work for you lads, Mia be raging] Janis: [hohaha, also blatantly gotta paint his 🖤] Jimmy: [Asia offering him the dregs of the gin back but he's like 'I'm alright' and 😍 at Janis cos so #nice and #lovedup bye] Janis: [smuggest happy face] Jimmy: [a little kiss that you so don't need to give her] Janis: [all pouting like you didn't gatecrash their night] Jimmy: [soz Grace you've done nothing wrong tonight but your friends suck] Janis: [we all know she's having more fun now like soz we're just doing this to piss 'em off] Jimmy: [nothing could ever piss Mia off more than how obvs it is that Grace would rather hang out with JJ so thanks babe] Janis: [doing us a solid] Jimmy: [what other cringe activities can we make coupley af?] Janis: [we could play some kind of game, as they are that childish, idk what] Jimmy: [Mia could suggest like never have I ever or something to that effect cos they're all hoes and they think Janis is such a virgin so she wants to show her up] Janis: [that's a good idea, and they could keep saying really mushy romantic things like #awh 'cos that'll really piss her off] Jimmy: [turn it around on her cos you've never had a bf have you babe so] Janis: [awkwar silence descends lmao] Jimmy: [soz again Grace] Janis: [Asia got her man god bless] Jimmy: [Grace would so end up going off to the bathroom or wherever upset so Mia would be buzzing] Janis: 😬 Janis: she doesn't have feelings to hurt Jimmy: You should go after her before 💀👑 does Jimmy: proper 😇 Janis: Ugh Janis: pains me that you're right Janis: on so many levels Janis: [goes] Jimmy: oughta be used to it by now, mate Janis: 1. ha Janis: 2. it's more about how badly I don't want to console her than it is about admitting you've ever had a good idea Janis: 3. massive headed twat Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: And I miss you already too Janis: you can run down a single flight of stairs and not get winded, yeah Janis: should you need to 🔪🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: Is the 🔪 in my back or nah? Janis: I dunno where they'll wanna stick it first, babe Jimmy: hot Janis: if you say so Jimmy: I've still got a 💀💀💀 wish, baby, where's yours gone? Janis: you clearly don't get how much it kills me being nice to my sister Jimmy: I never said owt about being nice Jimmy: 💀👑 wouldn't be if she'd taken the job off you Janis: I'm not gonna give her a pep talk about how more dick the better either, tah Jimmy: Get your boyfriend on the line, he'll be up for having a go Janis: You're very helpful Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: Be why Asia's asking me how to make her lad more #goals Janis: She's shameless Janis: sadly don't have his # either or I'd dob her in Jimmy: @ [whatever his actual socials are idk because of course he knows that the shady bitch] Janis: 😂 okay gossip girl Jimmy: xoxo Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll anon it at him Janis: as I've got a rep as such a nice person Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh Janis: he's unfortunate looking Jimmy: Did you think he'd be more 🤴 than 🐸? Jimmy: Come on Janis: 🐸 is generous Janis: tadpole, like Janis: I thought he'd at least have to be fit Janis: if she was airing you Jimmy: Piss off Janis: SHE 👏 HAS 👏 A 👏 BOYFRIEND 👏 Jimmy: I hate you Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: come back Janis: they're being that bad huh Jimmy: whatever you wanna call trying to dance with me, that'll do Janis: how horrific Janis: pick up your phone Janis: [calling him so they can hear being like 'we need your help to carry this' 'cos gone to make hot chocolates to cheer her] Jimmy: [a coupley af phone moment because those couples who stay on the phone til he's literally a step away from her] Janis: [nerds] Jimmy: [gives Mia the biggest mug like fuck you] Janis: [definitely put loads of baileys in and cream the whole works like drink up bitch] Jimmy: [chin chin gals] Janis: [sipping like 😏 getting cream moustaches then smooching 'em off, disgusting] Jimmy: [also they should dance cos he refused to dance with y'all] Janis: [obvs] Jimmy: [her like nah so he can be like oh please I really wanna, just to really annoy them] Janis: ['cos real also what a mental image like are you all gonna watch or are you gonna dance with each other like what's going on gals] Jimmy: [gaaaaaaaay] Janis: [just bopping sadly alone with your hot chocolate, amusement] Jimmy: [we all know Jimothy just wants to pick her up again so] Janis: [please 'fall' down onto the bed like whoops what are we like] Jimmy: [100%] Janis: [Mia's eyes boutta pop out] Jimmy: [Also Asia should 100% get a call from her man rn] Jimmy: [Jimmy trying not to cackle] Janis: [just biting your tongue so hard] Janis: 🙈 Jimmy: we need to go Janis: you don't wanna witness the downfall of your nemesis? Janis: I can always tickle you again Jimmy: You can try 💪 Janis: [does 'cos being that annoying like soz you're on the phone we're just so 😍] Jimmy: [lets it happen because he needs to lol and NO other reason NOPE] Janis: [try not to cackle lads] Jimmy: [HAS TO kiss her so he doesn't again no other reason so] Janis: [definitely not actually enjoying that, definitely doesn't have to stop it kinda abruptly 'cos will get carried away, no] Jimmy: [when you're like ? but you can't say or do anything because that audience but then 💡 you quickly trace an o and a k on her with a question mark sneakily like because I love when he does that] Janis: [just squeezing his hand like a yeah but drawing a 😒 face] Jimmy: [a genuine smile even though he should also be 😒] Janis: [I think Asia should run out to talk with her mans then come in crying so they can leave lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [ended that relationship whoops, run and lol run and lol] Jimmy: [don't be too happy tho boy you don't want her to think you actually wanna get with Asia] Janis: [she's gonna be on you harder than ever boy, oh my, like new boy guess what, god bless] Jimmy: [oh lord imagine] Janis: [at least she's not 💀👑 levels of snek, just dumb and tragic] Jimmy: [lowkey reminds him of his ex not in a 😍 way lol] Janis: [oh dear, getting to where the stairs are like 'lounge or my room?'] Jimmy: [shrug because can't answer a question] Janis: [nudges him like make a decision, boy] Jimmy: [nudges her back like no you] Janis: [looks at her non-existent watch and then pulls him up the stairs to her room] Jimmy: [off you go lads] Janis: [like cali could be home at any moment but not really #shameless] Jimmy: [you two and your flimsy excuses, love it] Janis: [is this the first time in her room?] Jimmy: [yeah because the other first time we did is when they actually hook up if memory serves so way after this] Janis: [enjoy that, boy] Jimmy: [we know his is no better and he can't judge] Janis: [at least there's shit still there from when you cared, shrugs and gestures 'round just like put some music on, do what you want] Jimmy: [👀 around like he's a nosy bitch but actually just doesn't know what to do with himself] Janis: ['you found plenty to fake do down there' 😏 but masking that you are awks too] Jimmy: [gets a pen and paper and starts doodling giving her a look like you happy now? all 😏 cos so awks] Janis: [sticks her tongue out at him, laying down and scrolling her phone 'cos we know it's popping off from #bathgate] Jimmy: [throws a paper airplane at her] Janis: ['excuse me?' sitting up, resting on her elbows like so #shook 'I'm checking we're still relevant, can I help you?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos they both know there's no need to check and it's all happening rn like my boo said] Janis: [mimes his head blowing up bigger and bigger then exploding, we all know she was just looking at the pictures again shh] Jimmy: [mimes a gun to his head then a dramatic fake death] Janis: [crawls over to where he is like she's gonna lick up the blood] Jimmy: [does a 🕆 with his fingers cos she such a vampire] Janis: [mimes a hiss like how dare you] Jimmy: [sets up a game of hangman on the paper and pushes it over to her] Janis: [😏 and writes down 'I?'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -I-] Janis: ['E'] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I -IE] Janis: ['D' 'cos got your number boy] Jimmy: [---- -I-- - -I-- I DIE] Janis: [lols 'L'] Jimmy: [what bit do you draw first when there isn't I've forgotten] Janis: [the pole that goes up] Janis: [pouts 'S'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - -ISS I DIE] Janis: ['K' 'cos also got your number and a LOOK] Jimmy: [---S -I-- - KISS I DIE and blowing her a kiss IRL like we gotta keep this sassy and light] Janis: [buzzing 'cos you gonna win lol 'A'] Jimmy: [---S -I-- A KISS I DIE] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [T--S -IT- A KISS I DIE] Janis: [fills in the rest because now obvious 'THUS WITH A KISS I DIE' 😏 and also hanging the stickman still and making him look like him with shades and floppy hair and a leather jacket] Jimmy: [draws a stick person her crying but also a vicar and they've both got rings on and there's confetti and she's wearing a wedding veil etc cos throwback to the easter rising when she married that dude] Janis: [draws a union jack flag in the vicar's hand, then a knife in his 💘 and then draws a vial under her tears with ☠ and 'POISON' on the label] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [adds vampire fangs to herself and two little holes on his hanged neck like excuse me thank you] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [lays back down 'what else do you wanna play?'] Jimmy: [lies down too LOOKING at her 'What do you wanna play?'] Janis: [stops breathing for a sec, bye but turns it into serious thinking face] Jimmy: [just staring at her, waiting but like why you gotta be so hot doing that boy] Janis: ['don't have any new games' casting her eyes over to whatever the last console she got was before she stopped giving a shit about everything 'you can talk about girls for-' invisible watch again '-five minutes, if you wanna, northern boy'] Jimmy: [talks about how much he hates Mia for a 5 minute rant lol, lying down staring up at the ceiling] Janis: [when you're so 😍 unironically thank god he's not looking] Jimmy: [nudges her when he's done like it's your go] Janis: [quick snap into a 😏 'you stole my bitch' and nudging him back then turning her eyes to the ceiling and talking about Grace instead] Jimmy: [takes his turn to talk about 💀#2 because still fuming about bathgate not that he's gonna rant about that, be careful please] Janis: [just nodding like mhmm preach then takes her turn to talk about Asia but like, try not to mention you're potentially jealous of her 'cos he might like her] Jimmy: [throws something at her like he's so offended she's slagging off his bae] Janis: ['so chivalrous!' 'cos he hit her with whatever she's now gonna hit him back with, let us assume a pillow fight for the cliche] Jimmy: [yas we need that shameless flirty MOMENT] Janis: [doing it, pinning him and tickling him like 'admit you love Asia'] Jimmy: [when you just flip reverse it 💪 so you're doing the same to her 'admit you're jealous of our true love'] Janis: [getting out a 'never!' between your lols] Jimmy: [opening and closing his mouth cos was blatantly gonna say something but then aborted mission] Janis: [reaching up and opening and closing his mouth yourself a few times like a 🐟 'catching flies, Taylor?'] Jimmy: [just sniffing her dramatically like 🤔 and giving her a look like you're not that bad] Janis: [punches his arm but vaguely affectionately lol 'how could either of us stink after that bath full of shit'] Jimmy: ['answered your own question there'] Janis: ['We smell like unicorn farts and rainbow dreams, obviously, did you not read the labels?] Jimmy: ['Too Northern'] Janis: ['Too distracted' under your breath like who said that] Jimmy: ['What?' Even though he 100% heard] Janis: ['See' and poking him in the chest like, you just proved my point there, not paying attention] Jimmy: [moves her finger down to his stomach shaking his head like he's so hungry and deprived of promised snacks that he can't possibly survive nevermind concentrate] Janis: [🙄 and poking his stomach harder, bit rude, 'come on then fatty' and wriggling out from under him, where she still is btw, gesturing like come on] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna leave this room and risk seeing either flat whites or her parents so you've got such a lil pout on 'shit host, you'] Janis: [a look like really 'lazy and all, chat shit about my rich girl work ethic ever again...' 😏 and goes to forage] Jimmy: [throws the pillow at her as she goes cos so mature] Janis: I'm taking all the good snacks now Jimmy: I'll have 'em off your 💀💀💀 body when you get 🔪🔪 Jimmy: bit of blood ain't gonna hurt nowt Janis: I've turned you Janis: not gay Janis: just vampire Janis: should've had your ear off and ended you there and then Jimmy: brb gotta send that tweet Jimmy: #notgayjustvampire Jimmy: what a read Janis: you would wanna be that couple Janis: not rawring at people with you Jimmy: I've got the fucking 💅 for it Janis: deny that you love it Jimmy: You really want me to throw my 💕 about tonight, eh? Janis: Not calling you a slag Janis: or am I Jimmy: can do Jimmy: be a misread but what ain't with you Janis: Doesn't feel like a #kinkunlocked to me Janis: and you're the one who claims he can't Jimmy: Claim I can't do loads of things but here we are Janis: Total opposite, bighead Janis: so rare you aren't bigging yourself up like the complex is so real Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I get that it would be easier to fake this if I was more your type but 💔 Janis: You can't say I haven't faked it perfectly Janis: everyone believes it Jimmy: That weren't what I were saying Janis: What were you saying then, elaborate Jimmy: for a start that the locked door ain't the only appeal of a bathroom for your boyfriend Jimmy: 🎻 that every surface weren't mirrored Janis: 🙄 Why do you keep bringing him up Jimmy: Why don't you want me to? Janis: because I don't like thinking about him, never mind talking about him Janis: he's at a lot of parties, I'm sure you'll get a chance to see him again, like calm down Jimmy: It weren't me who wanted to 👀 that dickhead Janis: Me either, obviously Janis: well busy looking at myself, does that suit you? Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: What? Jimmy: What? Janis: What would you like me to say? That I love him? Or even fancy him? 'Cos I don't so I'm not going to just 'cos you need me to, for some reason Jimmy: Why would I need that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: It's bollocks Janis: Then you can stop bringing him up Jimmy: I can do what I like, tah Janis: Alright, be obsessed with him Janis: I don't have to listen Jimmy: keep being a dickhead Jimmy: you obvs can't help it Janis: 🙄 Janis: good one Janis: I never said I weren't and I've done fuck all wrong Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: I'm just gonna go Jimmy: They don't need to know I have Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll get you a ride Jimmy: It's alright Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: I said it's alright Janis: I got you out here, I can get you back too Jimmy: I can get myself back, I'm in no rush Janis: The buses have stopped coming out this way and you are miles from yours Janis: take the ride Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: Why are you being a dickhead for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: Yeah, alright Janis: Yeah, you Janis: if you don't want the ride, then use my bed and wait 'til the AM Janis: you'll be left alone Jimmy: I don't want your bed either Janis: then take another one, this house is filled with fucking empty ones Jimmy: that's not creepy Janis: I have siblings that've fucked off Janis: that's all Janis: guest rooms are the reward for having lots of kids Jimmy: bit late for my dad to crack on there but I'll @ him any road Janis: never too late for blokes Jimmy: Northern 40s is rest of the world's 90s Janis: Still Jimmy: Still, he can't keep a bird for any length Jimmy: it's all stacking up Janis: you're gutted, clearly Janis: who doesn't want nine brothers and sisters Jimmy: Love raising his kids for him, me Jimmy: Why not do it a load more times? Got nowt else on Janis: After the 5th you can delegate Janis: your sister is definitely old enough Jimmy: Tah for the insider trading tips Janis: what are friends for Jimmy: Do you want a real or fake answer? Janis: why would you need to fake it Janis: not being wire-tapped here Jimmy: I might be wearing one 👮🚔 Janis: Her word is only law if you've not got the upper body strength or brain function to fight her off Janis: so go ahead Jimmy: You admitting I have? Janis: I'm admitting I'd know if you were working for or with Mia Janis: she's not as smart as she thinks and I'm not a fucking idiot Jimmy: And I ain't got enough upper body strength or brain function for that many jobs Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: You're exhausted just thinking about it Janis: relatable Jimmy: I'm sorry for bringing him up, alright? Janis: Alright Janis: I just don't get it Janis: like yeah it was a dick move but you don't reckon I was punished thoroughly enough or what? Jimmy: it's nowt like that Jimmy: I just Janis: Well it's alright, forget about it Jimmy: maybe I don't get it an' all Janis: Yeah Janis: I get that Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course Janis: much as it pains me to admit I don't know everything, like Jimmy: I won't send that tweet Janis: Cheers Jimmy: come back Janis: Okay Janis: [back with the snacks] Jimmy: [going through 'em so you don't have to look at her rn] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [raising his head like ?] Janis: ['I-' and stopping 'just-' and again, before settling on 'don't go and get lost, alright, I'd almost feel bad'] Jimmy: ['alright' and shoving her a controller for whatever console she has so they can play retro games and be competitive about it for a bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [as is throwing snacks into each other's mouths so simply must] Janis: [all the competitiveness] Jimmy: [speaking of I'm gonna do another hangman cos she guessed that one too fast for his liking, hold onto your hat bitch] Janis: [it was fun honey] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- - -------- --- -- ---] Janis: ['A'] Jimmy: [-- --- -- ---- ---- -- ---- a -------- -a- -- ---] Janis: ['Y'] Jimmy: [-- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay -- ---] Janis: ['T'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- ---- -- ---- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['S'] Jimmy: [t- --- -y y--- s--- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- ---] Janis: ['D'] Jimmy: [t- d-- -y y--- s-d- -s s--- a --a----y -ay t- d--] Janis: ['IE' 'cos we can sense a theme lol] Jimmy: [pout like how you gonna guess two letters bitch but we doing it] Jimmy: [t- die -y y--- -ide is s--- a -ea-e--- -ay t- die] Jimmy: [*side I can't type bye] Janis: [sings it at him] Jimmy: [when we know she's a good singer but he don't cos karaoke ain't happened yet so control your 😍 by drawing the hanged person but as 💔 Asia this time dropping a phone with a speech bubble of whatever bollocks they heard her boyfriend say] Janis: [draws him as a tadpole having a party in a pond with lady frogs and fishes] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: ['do you reckon I should feel bad about breaking them up?' shoving more snacks in her face, like] Jimmy: [when you give her such a wtf no look 'do they feel bad about wishing we would?' doesn't give her chance to answer cos obvs a rhetorical question 'there's your answer, like'] Janis: [shrugs like yeah, true 'but their love is so real' but rolls her eyes 'cos I doubt they were ever #goals] Jimmy: [shrugs back does a 💔 with his hands 'nowt I can't fix' and winks] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: [goes to her window and opens it really wide to 🚬 leaning out dangerously far so he doesn't get any smoke in her room cos still doesn't wanna leave and see anyone] Janis: [comes to the window and looks out 'their car ain't back' like does that mean get out or] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh no cali are coming for their 👑 by being so goals] Janis: [makes a face like don't] Jimmy: [goes to pass her the 🚬 like a peace offering but then is like oh you obvs don't want it my bad kinda takeback gesture cos what she said before about only faking it] Janis: [walks away 'cos stubborn] Jimmy: [just 🚬 and watching the 🐈s outside casually] Janis: [just back playing a solo game, pretending you ain't pouting] Jimmy: [sending her highlights of bathgate even though she's already seen them all cos shamelessly like pay attention to me] Janis: good thing we ain't in school Janis: last time they got this excited over a #scandal they put Jesy Halls in isolation for weeks Jimmy: You don't wanna be in isolation? Jimmy: fakest bollocks you've ever chatted Janis: You know they'd put you in and leave me out to get torn apart Janis: ⭐ Jimmy: what you get for being such an athlete Jimmy: and hey, might learn your name while I'm in there so it ain't all bad Janis: What you get for being so soft Janis: think of my mystique, would ya Jimmy: keep that to yourself, tah, it'll make us both look properly un-goals Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Go on, might get to eat some snacks myself if you're struggling Janis: Fuck off Janis: I'm not encouraging you to talk about your dick so you can 🐽 Jimmy: you started it Janis: Nah Janis: why would I ever bring that up Jimmy: Why did you just? You tell me, girl Janis: 😒 Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: You're easy to annoy Janis: I think you'll find most sane people don't wanna discuss your genitals Janis: just them downstairs Jimmy: 💔 Janis: you're buzzing Janis: be sneaking down in a few Jimmy: busted me Janis: mhmm Janis: wouldn't be a good real cheat, you Jimmy: my dad's got that covered Jimmy: I don't want 🥈 Janis: fair enough Janis: Freud's all over that statement Jimmy: he can be next for a 👻🥊 Janis: this is what comes of violent games Janis: [throws a bag of snack at him] Jimmy: [catches it like 😏] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: are you nearly done Janis: freezing here Janis: [in your short shorts] Jimmy: [wasn't done but gets done immediately cos #whipped] Janis: [gets under the covers] Jimmy: [comes over and tucks her in like a nerd] Janis: [allows this to happen like you're gonna go sleep 😊] Jimmy: [just sitting on the edge of the bed like when you tell a kid a story] Janis: ['you do this a lot, like'] Jimmy: [looks at her like what?] Janis: [looks down like tucking in] Jimmy: [shrugs like it's so casual cos she knows he's got a little brother from the pool awks] Janis: ['never stop, eh'] Jimmy: [looks at his phone cos still blowing up and back at her like so many jobs so little time] Janis: [tugs on his sleeve gently like lay down 'they'll be consoling her for hours still yet'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: ['you want me to go?' quiet and soft like he's asleep already 'I do have 2 cigarettes to smoke now so'] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' because can't answer a q but also obvs does not want that but thinks she does] Janis: [shrugs 'cos like no but do you want me to lol, so helpful] Jimmy: ['it's your bed' and what boy you're not helpful either] Janis: ['you want a tour of all the free ones?'] Jimmy: ['Which one's most worth haunting?'] Janis: [a look like that's easy but then a 🤔 face 'but you're pretty chicken so' and rolling over like night then] Jimmy: [shoves her like oi] Janis: [loling 'don't push me out of bed, how ungoals, you twat'] Jimmy: [literally rolls her back over to face him #excuse you 'answer me, dickhead'] Janis: [when that was hot so you're like literally give me a moment here so you wriggle down under the covers so he can't see you 'alright, I'll show you but I can't promise the ghost will come out' muffled by the duvet like hello] Jimmy: [lifts the covers up and peeping at her like ? and has cupped his ear like what? because one ear jokes 5ever] Janis: [coming out the bottom of the bed like can't catch me 'come on scaredy cat' and we all know what room we going to] Jimmy: [can't catch her ever but can chuck a hoodie at her because she's so cold and it might slow her down a bit] Janis: [puts it on and pretend swoons 'trying to cash in some hero points now, I see'] Jimmy: ['just don't want you to freeze to death before we get there, Jennifer, can't be arsed with throwing myself down the stairs right this second'] Janis: [pouts and grabs his face like n'awh 'but we could frame them, where's your sense of fun, honestly'] Jimmy: [pushes her off but then is like 😏 looking at her like good idea and picks her up as if he's gonna chuck her down the stairs] Janis: [playfighting like get off me boy 'as if I'd let you go 2nd'] Jimmy: [we love a playfight moment 'as if you reckon you call the shots'] Janis: [the most dramatic 'pfft!' and just rolling further towards the stairs like actually be careful please 'but you love coming first usually'] Jimmy: [does a mime locking his lips like don't tell anyone that, very ungoals, boy stop making it sexual again thank you 'depends, time and a place, you know, Jules'] Janis: [rolls her eyes but is 😳 'How can I trust you'll go through with it, besides, Romeo dies first, I fake it, you do it for real, then I do, stick to the script'] Jimmy: ['fake something for me that convincingly and I might do'] Janis: [just looking at him 'rude'] Jimmy: [a LOOK back at her] Janis: ['you can't tell me those pictures weren't convincing' 'cos we know it's still popping off] Jimmy: ['I sorted them' okay boy we gonna act like just cos you did all the camera shit she didn't do anything? Really now] Janis: ['it was my idea, and you wouldn't have any pictures on your own so'] Jimmy: [a shrug but we all know he's still looking at her, like oh jimothy what kind of challenge do you think you can lay down right here right now that'll top bathgate you simply can't] Janis: ['so, it's your turn to think of something, actually' but getting up and going to Edie's room, which is thankfully not a creepy shrine moment] Jimmy: [Follows her obvs] Janis: [it's probably less of a guest room more of a quiet chill room for if they wanted to go think about her, that seems like some hippie shit, so obviously no one goes in here though 'cos no thanks lol, gestures like 'this is the ghost room, can you feel it?' so sarky] Jimmy: [just making himself comfy in there because he don't know] Janis: [when this was a bad idea but you have to front it out and sit down like] Jimmy: [when you're so busy trying to think of something to top bathgate that you're oblivious] Janis: [at least you can lean in to pressuring him just making tick tock noises with your tongue like] Jimmy: [he'd do such a fake OMG STOP like when she was being tickled in front of the fans] Janis: [just gets closer to the ear she didn't bite so it's louder] Jimmy: [when you wanna lol but you don't wanna give her the satisfaction so you gotta bite your lip like it's okay I'm just thinking here, total accident that he looks really hot doing it soz Janis] Janis: [just shamelessly looking 'not meant to eat yourself, such a rookie' 😏] Jimmy: ['if anyone can recognise owt like that, it'd be you'] Janis: ['duh, I turned you, I'm like your mistress' raises brows 'or daddy, if you prefer'] Jimmy: ['Don't be telling my missus I've got one of them, tah, right rookie mistake that'd be, she already reckons me and her are well fake' does a what can you do, women eh, kinda gesture]] Janis: ['I don't reckon she knows you've got a name' shakes head like imagine that 'enjoy being on the other side of that one, babe'] Jimmy: [😏 'Sounds alright to me, that'] Janis: [🙄 but not that mad ever] Jimmy: [zips up the hoodie for her like how you possibly be annoyed at such a 😇] Janis: [pulls is back down justto be that bitch but then you look like you wanna be undressed in front of him so you pull it up and down a few times like a bit] Jimmy: ['you break it, you've bought it, rich girl' but clearly amused] Janis: [shrugs 'meant to let me keep it anyway'] Jimmy: ['You want me to freeze to death, that's the big plan, eh?' cos she'd have the school trip one already] Janis: [nods but is lol 'how else will everyone know you love me?'] Jimmy: [100% has to give her a new lovebite because I can't not if you're gonna say stuff like that Janis] Janis: [just like 'of course' but with feeling 'cos always covered low-key and we know it 'what about you, what do you want?'] Jimmy: [when you give her another one because that's what you want and we all know it but then you have to look at her like ? as if you weren't listening] Janis: [just gripping the sofa you're on so tightly so you can otherwise pretend this is so casual, tracing your finger 'round and 'round his ear lobe like 'yours healed ages ago...'] Jimmy: ['Have another go then' yeah this is so casual bye] Janis: [does, with vigour lol] Jimmy: [his turn to abuse the sofa] Janis: [admiring your handiwork 'bruises don't lie' and giving him back the hoodie like there you go] Jimmy: ['No need for you to lie either' cos she was cold and putting it back on her because I love a hair lift moment especially because he won't jump back 6 ft like when he did that exact thing on school trip #progress] Janis: [the state of the hair after all this we can only assume, going to put it up or something like ugh 'I don't lie, ever' fully aware of the irony ;cos of their fake dating deal like 😇] Jimmy: [irl 👌 so sarky] Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [when she's so cute and you can see so much of her neck now she's moved her hair and you're just like don't 😳] Janis: [motioning for him to pass her a cigarette and getting up 'ghost ain't coming, soz mate' 'cos definitely needs it now] Jimmy: [puts one behind her ear cos can't be tamed about touching her needlessly ever] Janis: ['you want my second one? as I don't smoke' as she's going to go downstairs] Jimmy: [takes one for himself as an unspoken yes] Janis: [kinda wanna make cali come back to be evil[ Jimmy: [do it gal] Janis: [they'll just say hi but she'll be fuming lol] Jimmy: [and he'll be wanting to run away] Janis: [at least its dark so you can sit here bright red, angrily smoking in silence] Jimmy: I'll fuck off home, say the word Janis: You can Janis: they won't wake you up for breakfast and awkward small talk though Jimmy: That where you get being a shit host from? Janis: Funny Jimmy: Could at least fake 😂 for me then, babe Janis: [😑 at him] Janis: convincing, yeah? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: don't give me pity medals Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have another go Janis: [a look that's half a LOOK and half don't] Janis: lost track of time, didn't reckon they'd be back 🤷 Janis: they couldn't see you so it don't count as meeting, right Jimmy: no 👻 about tonight Janis: yeah Janis: go if you have to Jimmy: I'll go if you want me to Janis: [say Cali's room also faces the front, nodding to the windows] Janis: go in once their light is on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hope one of 'em has been sick or something Janis: doubt it'll be as pretty and pink coming back up Jimmy: [when we know that'll make him feel sick but not gonna see the greenish tint in the dark so stay 💪 boy and throw a stone at Grace's window to see if there's any life in there] Janis: 🙄 oh great Janis: give 'em ideas, lover boy Jimmy: I can't help missing her, alright? Jimmy: [dramatically fake pining] Janis: Disgusting Janis: [but a small half-smile Jimmy: [nudges her gently like hey that's at least a small 🏆] Janis: [nudes him like piss off but it's as gently] Jimmy: [just staying leaned into her a lil bit like be comforted] Janis: Proper soft, you Janis: could make yourself useful and find some fuel so I can set the place on fire whilst all my worst enemies are inside Jimmy: can't stop lying, you Jimmy: I'm well hard, me Jimmy: [plucks at the hoodie she's wearing like this is so cheap it'll burn right up] Janis: [looks down like hmm 🤔] Janis: you give to take away, only just got this hoodie back Jimmy: [nods at a passing cat like there you go instead then] Janis: [snorts] Jimmy: I were thinking Jimmy: it's not about arson but Janis: disappointing Janis: but go on Jimmy: could've waited til you'd heard it to 💔 me Janis: tell me Jimmy: I dunno, just Jimmy: might not be the massive-stly shit idea to try and be mates Jimmy: for as long as I'm here and this Janis: Wait, are you friendzoning me, Taylor? 😂 Janis: [actually 😂] Jimmy: [is pouting actually] Janis: [pats his shoulder like my bad] Janis: Sorry, that's just not what I expected you to say Jimmy: I've changed my mind now, dickhead Janis: Probably for the best Janis: if you can't handle that, like Janis: insert that quote here Jimmy: weren't likely to handle nowt for long but you're alright Janis: I don't need mates and you don't want me as one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Let's go in then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [stops off in the kitchen to get more drink first] Jimmy: [does not follow her for the first time ever] Janis: don't you want a nightcap? Jimmy: Is it a) pretty or b) pink? Janis: That's long gone, boy Jimmy: So what's the point, like? Janis: You know I've seen you drink drinks that aren't flat white approved before, yeah? Jimmy: Don't sound like me or very #goals to me Janis: I'll leave the bottle here then 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Don't be in a mood Jimmy: Or what? You'll be in a bigger one? Janis: I'm not in a mood Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: Why are you in one? Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: Stick to the script, Jodie, we've got no rules but that Janis: Suit yourself Jimmy: tah for stating the obvious Jimmy: it were like Asia was here for a bit Janis: How lovely for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Fuck sake Janis: you can't give me any time to react, no Jimmy: you can have loads, we're off the clock Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: nah Janis: Yeah Janis: I said I didn't know you were gonna say that Jimmy: like you said an' all, bad idea Jimmy: we can leave it out Janis: right, cheers Jimmy: you're right, take the 🏆 Janis: Leave it out, like you said Jimmy: lasses first Janis: Whatever Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: nowt about any of this has ever been owt else Janis: No need to tell me Jimmy: you're trying to tell me Janis: I'm trying to tell you fuck all Janis: what's the point Jimmy: 🙀 Janis: I'm not the one that's scared Janis: or taking back what I said Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I'm taking it back 'cause you're a knobhead Janis: You knew that before you said it Jimmy: you weren't for a second so I said it Janis: What second? Jimmy: What does that matter? Janis: Maybe I would like to try again, or maybe I wanna know what to avoid Janis: take your pick Jimmy: Maybe you're right again and I'm soft Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: Bollocks, that's giving yourself one for nothing Janis: like you've been so nice to me even though I don't deserve it, fuck off Jimmy: you fuck off Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: Alright Janis: Night Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just downstairs, getting drunk] Jimmy: [I'm so evil because I'm like ooh the potential for her to come up here when she is] Janis: ['forget' he's in your room like bonjour] Jimmy: [exactly though] Janis: [why not baby] Jimmy: [him just half asleep like mother is that you returning from the great unknown, oh no wait I'm not at home remotely] Janis: [ah the confusion, poor boy] Jimmy: [when you're relieved that it's her for the hottest of secs because where you been girl but also not because awkward] Janis: [when he's on the side of the bed you sleep on so you're trying to get in like 'budge up'] Jimmy: [so offended before he realises how drunk she is but then also like shhh when he does realise as if anyone's gonna hear this jimothy calm down] Janis: [just pushing him but much less efficiently than normal 'least you've warmed it for me'] Jimmy: [just so 😒 like stop pushing me but not saying anything] Janis: ['are you still cross?'] Jimmy: ['I've got nowt to be mardy about' sighing at himself like ffs boy as he's scooting over #foreverwhipped] Janis: [chuckling to herself, quietly, thank god, as she settles in 'well I'm not happy with you'] Jimmy: ['And I've done nowt for you to be mardy at me about' okay Jimothy if you say so] Janis: ['Neither of those is true, you know' fluffing up the pillow] Jimmy: ['start a # if you feel so strongly' cos v mature] Janis: ['you're stupid, stupid as I am' poking him] Jimmy: [gives her a look like don't, which he means on many levels rn] Janis: [pulls a face 'cos so mature too right now 'we could be friends, I'm just saying'] Jimmy: ['You reckon?' because clearly they can't] Janis: ['duh'] Jimmy: [shakes his head] Janis: [nods, way too hard, 'now you made me dizzy as well'] Jimmy: [goes to sarcastically pat her on the head like there there but strokes her hair instead because so soft always] Janis: [pouts but genuinely] Jimmy: ['what?' but in the softest way] Janis: ['I want you to be my friend but I weren't lying when I said you wouldn't want me to be your friend but I still wish you would'] Jimmy: [needlessly moves her hair out of her face like look at me 'it ain't up to you what I want, I said I wanted to try 'cause I did- I do'] Janis: [Hides under the covers again like sorry can't look at you 'okay' really quietly] Jimmy: [reaches under the covers so he can trace a o and k with his fingertip on her hand/arm whichever is reachable] Janis: [comes back up 'go sleep now' and closes his eyes with her fingers] Jimmy: [such an amused little noise because he was asleep before she came in, excuse you] Janis: ['shh shh'] Jimmy: [puts a finger on her lips like you shh] Janis: [frowny face 'stop it'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up dramatically like alright, calm down and gets comfy like look I'mma sleep] Janis: [smug face like that's right and does the same 'least it's not a single this time'] Jimmy: ['gutted, me' said really sarcastically but we know you are boy] Janis: [gets all up in his grill like there you go then] Jimmy: ['funny'] Janis: ['that's what you get for being rude'] Jimmy: ['you woke me, pisshead' but affectionately not actually annoyed at all] Janis: [waves hand like psh 'you were rude before then'] Jimmy: ['Alright, shut up' like you really care about going back to sleep rn okay Jimothy] Janis: [gestures like see 'gotta be nice to me' but rolling over like okay, you can sleep] Jimmy: [OTT dramatic sigh so she's knows it's fake] Janis: ['bet you can't say one nice thing about me'] Jimmy: ['you're not as shit at kissing as you were on the trip' because I re-read that and he kept acting like she was so bad like OKAY liar] Janis: [pushes him 'what kind of compliment is that?!'] Jimmy: [shrugs like you don't know exactly what you're doing boy] Janis: ['alright then the only thing I have to say about you is you're slightly less shit at being nice but potentially worse at lying so' blows raspberry] Jimmy: ['bollocks, you've got loads to say tonight, lightweight' but he's loling] Janis: ['yes well I've been very bored'] Jimmy: [does like the awh cheek squish she does to him always 'poor baby'] Janis: ['you know I'll bite you' squirming out of reach 'why didn't you come down?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where you check an animals teeth like he wants to see her vampire fangs, stop touching her mouth please! 'Why didn't you come up?'] Janis: [wipes her mouth like a child like gross 'I was getting drunk' shrugs like hello] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'I were sleeping' but like not for ages boy we know it] Janis: ['marding' in a him impersonation Jimmy: [pushes her cos oi what a read] Janis: [mhmm noise 'me too, but I had company'] Jimmy: ['like I said, shit host'] Janis: ['what do you mean?' resting on her elbow 'you keep saying that'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like pretty self explanatory] Janis: [a look like obvs not? 'I've fed you, entertained you, what more do you want, fanfare?'] Jimmy: ['that lot did the did the bulk of the entertaining, girl, weren't you' more lies and more slander] Janis: ['not my fault you've got shit taste then' is pouting] Jimmy: ['@whateverAsia'ssocials are, might start her off bawling again, what could be more goals?'] Jimmy: [but obvs he's said them I just cba to think of one lol] Janis: ['kink unlocked you horrible boy' but lols] Jimmy: [I've known for ages that were one of yours'] Janis: ['making girls cry?' fake ponders 'hmm, don't tell anyone'] Jimmy: ['not just lasses' does the broken heart hand thing again] Janis: ['you aren't that soft' nudges him 'unfortunately'] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'bit of editing and you can tweet that'] Janis: [passes her phone 'you'll have to do it for me, I'm not that drunk and sad'] Jimmy: [tweets something hilarious instead cos that bitch and makes a big show of not giving her the phone back cos drunk] Janis: ['what did you do, tweet my nudes?' tryna grab her phone like 'scuse me] Jimmy: ['Mr Lucas wishes' having a playfight over this phone so casually] Janis: ['who do you think I'm taking them for' then an ew face 'cos truly] Jimmy: ['Save something for the wedding night' cos in the school trip convo that was also a running theme of her marrying him lol] Janis: ['tweet that and we lose all credibility'] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'I could make owt sound goals, even that bollocks'] Janis: ['yeah but bit off message' gestures at the lovebites 'stick to the script, no improv'] Jimmy: [touches the newest ones he gave her, boy stop 'Alright'] Janis: [shakes her head 'don't' and pulls up the covers between them] Jimmy: [when you're actually 💔 now, so just getting back in a sleeping position] Janis: ['it's just 'cos I wanna and it's not fair and' let this be vaguely incoherent so you don't fully out yourself immediately] Jimmy: [just pretending he's actually gone deaf like we don't need to do this] Janis: [sad sound but turning over like you actually believe he's asleep] Jimmy: [just moving about like you're trying to get more comfy but getting closer to her so it's like the in bed version of when he was leaning on her earlier] Janis: [just really quiet and still for a long time, sighs 'night, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [we know he ain't gonna answer even though he all also know you aren't asleep sir] Janis: [AM skip or?] Jimmy: [I think we should say he leaves like super early cos got so real there] Janis: [okay gurl]

[vertigoambrosia]

so i did watch broken rules but there’s no post on it because tumblr freaked out, and first just borked my post, an then when i decided to write it in notepad instead, it was being a butt with formatting

so we’re skipping to road to 19th anni [dresden]

LOL THEY HADN’T TRANSLATED THE FUCK YOU THAT TIM SAID

so casually

bless

the music they chose for this is odd but ok

kinda eighties, isn’t it?

speaking of, i miss the music htey used for ambition

i like andy jackson’s blazer. very nice burgundy color

i like that animation they have for the shotgun belt

i don’t think they should use the full   history intro unless it’s a big title match though - this is just a random 3 way

BRING JAY FK ON THE AWAY SHOWS

oh god did francis dye his hair blond?

wtf andy there’s aren’t dqs in a three way

rammstein and wrestling are the real reasons i can count to ten in german

‘franCIS???’

veit offended by that crossbody attempt

jay sweetie....you shoulda known that wouldn’t work on avalanche

i don’t mind hearing tommy talk but it’s a bit odd to have him explaining the plot instead of having a video package

oh here one is? the one from before?

‘why does cheating make us the bad guys?’

man maggott is so hot

wxw has a lot of dramatic phone calls

i already know the plot point in this match so...

pretty bastards more like pretty trashcans, amrite?????

ohhhh juju this  is a bad idea but i respect it

OHHH that double final lap was sickkkk

this ref looks like a balding version of this one ref who works (worked? idk) in evolve

no people stop chanting nxt

has he even  been on the show yet?

i knew the betrayal was gonna happen so  i’m  not  SHOCKED

that  finishing  combo  is great though

oliver really needs to like, fill in that africa tattoo cause it looks like he just drew on his chest

i mean, its not a good tattoo placement but we can’t change that

lol pete saying lucky is al internet hype when ‘pete bouncer is a hottie’ is a long running twitter meme

ok now that they’ve been doing work on ivan’s motivations for betraying lucky, i actualyl buy it

oh wow ivan’s new portrait is so creeper

~i want to see my little boy~

tommy: here he comes

~i want to see my little boy~

god those purple tights are so good

and i actually don’t mean that in a thirst way, there’s some nice detail and the color looks good on ivan

also purple is my favorite color

aw lucky didn’t quite hit the ‘try a chop but hit the pole’ spot

? according to andy jackson, ivan used to play basketball? interesting note i guess

as much as i love lucky, i hope ivan wins this so purge club actually look effective for once

is it just me or has it been a whiel since we saw that pele kick?

so is this feud going to have real drama or what

lol jurn has no friends because he’s...jurn

but rotation u are a child

jurn this is why you don’t have any friends

axel tischer’s smile is so pure

ur gonna die :)

aw dammit i was really looking forward to ilja vs wolfe

yay wxw remembered women can be in teams!

shoutouts to deutsche orange cassidy

(i don’t remember what ‘orange’ is in german)

ohhhh that jacket is sickkkkk i love it

another thing i love: the dresden crowd

i would say skye for next champ, but that would mean a heel vs heel championship match

kelly is long overdue to have the belt again but putting the belt on anyone signed to wwe seems like a bit of a foolish choice

i wish amale had done that thing where she rubs her boot in someone’s face so hard they’re falling out the ring after those two kicks in the corner cause those were rad

i miss melanie

what the fuck was roxy trying to do there against amale during the pin attempt? it was like she was gonna do a spear and then decided last moment to just bend over instead

good match tho....but where’s the plot for the women?

wait tim vs bobby isn’t the main? i mean, i guess cause the match was originally hometown boi vs hometown boi..but still

wait andy jackson just said rotation was in the hospital because of tyler colton? (in kayfabe, of course) i feel like we should have had a video segment about that

ugh AJ this outfit is so bad

so does rotation mean to always be wobbling on the top rope? because it looks sloppy but he does it so often i wonder if it’s intentional?

i know rotation is a nice boy but i am sometimes ambivalent about his wrestling

it is kinda hard to take him seriously against big bois

also he takes like five minutes to do a dive

PEC FLEX FIGHT

WHO IS THE MANLIER MAN

GRGRERGGWEGRAS

YELL

MANLY

um no crowd, levaniel is the princess. aj doesn’t have the hair for it

i hate tyler colton’s little rat tail

is it really long enough to even be called that thought? it’s more like just a rabbit tail

ok that was a fantastic hot tag

i gotta admit seeing jurn toss around aj is fun

ahh it’s been a while since we’ve seen the massive kick

who is legal in this match

andy jackson called that kiss a ‘judas kiss’ and that is perfect

ROTATION JUST FUCKING DO THE FLIPPY ALREADY

this match is going on a lot longer than i thought?

or maybe not actually longer,but has a lot of false finishes?

tyler colton is kinda boring maybe?

jurn why are you pacing just kill aj already

i hope jurn starts using the massive kick as a finisher again

oh DAMN rotation going HAM

good for him, really

i could be into hardcore boy rotation

aww jurn is proud

THIS HAMBURG MATCH BETTER BE A STREET FIGHT

ohhh here we go timo gonna beat up bobby again

aw they didn’t sub the ‘fuck you’ again

dresden pls boo bobby ok?

>:(

ok there are some boos, and not a ton of cheers, to be fair

lol there’s literally one dude chanting GUNNS BOBBY GUNNS

oh there are the boos! people were just grooving to the music

i love tim so much his thumbs up is so dorky but it works

ohhh look at him glaring at bobby

did he just do the same thing from that master ken video

damn tim looking to straight up murder today

oh FUCK that finger bullshit

um guys you may wanna activate the lights on the stage

i mean i guess watching wrestling in silhouettes is very avant garde

ok i’m ready for them to get back in the ring now

oh damn that was shorter than i thought!

that finishing sequence was great, honestly; good crafty wrestleshit

oliver, andy jackson is Disappointed in You

very disappointed

oh man i’ve never ever seen him enter with the ringkampf theme before

oh that logo with the axes is sick

was axel tischer ever wrestling as part of the ringkampf stable with tim et al? he left before english shotgun started so i have no idea

hell the only other time besides carat i’ve seen him in person was nxt live

what does heimspiel mean

oh! he’s wearing trunks!

honestly i know next to nothing about axel tischer

STOP CHANTING NXT

yes chanting for the local promotion is better

oh duhhhh i just remembered that is also the imperium theme so it makes sense for him to come out to it now

it’s pretty fucking shameless how wwe just makes low rent versions of stables that were already popular

i think this is the most non-flips i’ve seen out of oliver carter and i like it

or maybe i just don’t remember a ton of oliver carter matches...

OH SHIT

HE WENT RIGHT THROUGH THE ROPES

FUKKKKKKK

lol no protection for the fans

i noticed that in the tim/bobby match too - there’s no people shooing people out of the way

boo these awful pretty boys!

TIM ASSIST!

VEIT!

oh ok maybe he does not need assist

no he does

oh it’s juju!

oh juju....

oh here that motherfucker is!

i guess i should have expected ilja to show up in his hometown despite being injured

goddammit ilja’s butt even looks good in jeans

it’s not ok

yes crowd, we know nxt is in orlando, can we move on

ummmmm are we please not doing a karsten x amale angle?

NO MORE 3 WAY DANCES

COME ON

yeah bobby you can’t talk about losing when tim fucked you up

YESSS PLEASE BREAK BOBBY’S STREAK

hahaha he barely remembers bobby’s name

now i just want axel to call bobby ‘robert schilds’ and make fun of his hairdo back then

[hugsfromdad]

Um... Well... THAT happened. holy shit. Let me tell you about my night. (Ya bisexual boi got his flirting mojo back but now idk what to do)

(This is a long story, but worth it. my theater crush comes in at the end fyi for those keeping up with me)

So, opening night of this play i've been working on just happened.

(Reminder: this is my first play ever)

And, it was beyond incredible. I had nothing to compare it to, but literally everyone was freaking out because of how good it apparently was.

....also apparently I was all everyone could talk about.

We had a theater critic there who was(is) gonna write us a review, and everyone was stressed about what he was gonna think (except me cause I had no idea if that was important. I guess it was)

WELL, I was pulled aside afterwards by both our director, and the mother of a cast member to tell me that not only did the critic love it, but he loved me. He said this was the best show he has ever seen at that theater...and he's directed shows there before! But I was being told that he loved me...so yeah, i really didn't know what to do with that but I guess it's really great

I have one of the 2 slow songs, and I have a riff near the end of mine. Well, I turned the riff into me holding a note for a long ass time. Like, the longest I've ever held a note. And then, to top it off, I hit a really high note at the very end.

Everyone fucking loved it. They positively freaked out and it was, again, so overwhelming. I didnt know what to do with it or how to react.

After the show, the cast and their families, friends, and as much of the audience who wanted, went to a restaurant/pub down the road that was staying open late soley for us. Dude, there was a big crowd.

I had been talking to my director with my mother right after the show and before we went over, and he could not shut up about people's reaction to me. It was overwhelming. He kept telling me about all these important people who had loved me and wanted to know about me and were freaking out when he told them it was my first show. A couple other cast memebers also came over and were talking with us and my mum and they kept complimenting and praising me and I genuinely didnt know what to do with it.

So we go to the pub and I start to like hang out and then--

Girls

talking to me.

People

wanting to hang with me and laughing at everything I had to say.

Backing up for a sec; at the absolute beginning of this whole play process at auditions, there was a cast member I noticed as very attractive and i had my eye on. She's probably older than my parents, but a ridiculously gorgeous woman, and high soprano.

Well, she was glued to me for some reason. After I walked in and had been there for a minute talking with my family, she comes over and we started talking. ....and kept talking. Like, this was the most i had ever talked with her this entire thing, and she was just sipping her single glass of wine and talking and laughing with me. I was genuinely confused as to whether she was just proud of me, her motherly instincts had kicked in, or if there was something else cause uh... I wish I could describe her eyes when she looked at me.

OH, also I should mention that when she decided to leave, she pulls me into this long, tight hug, and then fucking tucks her head in and kisses me quite gently on the cheek. I genuinely was stunned because we had maybe hugged like... once(?) before when she was nervous and cold.

Oh, and speaking of cold/clothes, i should mention that I was wearing... a really good outfit. I had planned it out so i would look really good cause I play a nerd in the show and i wanted to counteract that. Well, i did. I'll post a picture of it later if i remember. But specifically once I took my jacket off, my short sleeves were rolled up (queer eye would be proud) and all of my tattoos were showing.

And oh my god,

did people love them.

I had people touching my arms, asking what they meant, mentioning that they had been wondering about my tattoos all night cause they had seen a glimpse of them at the beginning of the show when i wore a t-shirt for like one song.

Dude, it was insane.

So there was this other girl who had some incredible silver shoes there and this chick was flirrrrting. She was(is) so fucking cool. Like, her makeup was WILD and jeffree star would have been proud-- like glitter eyeshadow type proud. And she was like talking and laughing with me, then hanging with her friends and playing shuffle board-- but coming back to me to tell me about it. It was kinda overwhelming. By the end of the night, she comes up to me and like asks for my info and like says she wants to be in a play with me and we should be friends and all that. She then texted me right after too 🙈

There was also the drummer's girlfriend who, holy fucking shit she absolutely is stunning and slays life and just.. I cant. She's so cool and gorgeous and confident and wow. And she and i wound up talking and laughing and joking for quite a bit as well. I sweear, i don't get how her eyes exist, cause she would look at me and it was like with beautifully cunning and see right through you type of look..and yet full of amusement. Like she was ready and waiting to enjoy what i had to say. Crazy. But she and I hung for quite awhile. She'll be here today at this performance too and she told me that she is expecting me to have a different meaning behind my tattoos when she asks about then tonight.

There were some more friends of our cast members who were like talking with me and touching my arms and grabbing my hand. one woman even fucking took my hand and kissed it. I swear. Woah. It was so overwhelming. Everyone was just telling me how blown away they were and that i have to have to have to keep acting. I guess word might have gotten out that i was unsure whether i wanted to do more acting or not... People were literally begging me to do another play. My director literally is begging me to do another one... Like begging. You shoulda seen his eyes.

OH. speaking of guys, there was this beautiful young man who came up to me and was like telling me how much he loved my performance and was just blown away. Well, apparently this kid is like super critical and very talented and trained with vocals and he could not get over me. He was(is) definitely not straight and i honestly was enjoying him way too much. My cast member who was still with me at that point said to me afterwards that praise from him is rare and really has weight. So, yay lol

(I will admit that as overwhelmed as I was with all of the praise, I was handling the flirting well. I will admit to that. My instincts kicked in and i was flirting and being smooth. I couldnt help it.)

AND. now, for my final person who I have been holding out talking about-- my gorgeous cast member who has the deep voice and cuddles me for part of the play...

Dear lord. Her eyes on me. I really wanted to stop breathing. At the end of the night she and our director, the drummers girlfriend, my friend Kai (holy shit he's beautiful and he came all this way just to see my performance and he met my dad and god I love him but that's another post) and my mum and I were all hanging out. At one point, I was looking at and talking to our director. And then, I felt her eyes on me. Like, she was standing right next to me, but i FELT her eyes on me.

And oh my god, like what the fucking hell, I snuck and glance and i wonder if it was the alcohol, but her eyes are like glowing and filled with like... I don't even know. Like the biggest joy and adoring look I've ever seen. I forced myself to not make eye contact anymore just because what I could see of here eyes out of the corner of mine was making me slightly dizzy.

She put arms around me multiple times that night and when it was time to leave, she comes over, gives me this look I cant quite make sense of, and then grabs my face and kisses my cheek. Like, just suddenly. In front of my mom. And it was like a kiss that threw me way off holy shit cause I've never really gotten cheek kisses from people. But wow. This was one.

I swear my head was spinning and I did not know what to do with it all. Not just her, but everyone else too. However, when I'm driving home and talking with my little brother (dear god he's amazing. It was 1am and he was just letting me have my night. I fucking am so grateful for him) I mentioned the people flirting with me and HE GOES "oh my gosh, especially [her name]."

I kind of try to not react, but he said it like mutliple times as we drove "oh she was flirting. How she was looking at you...oh yeah." And I kind of just silently died the entire time.

Okay. So that's it. My very bisexual adventure. It's been a long time since one of those have happened. Sorry for the long read, but i needed to get it all out somewhere. I have another performance tonight and then on Sunday. And then 3 next weekend. So, expect more to happen.

I have no fucking idea how this is all gonna wind up, but I did NOT and was NOT expecting or ready for last night. I really wasnt. I really didn't. I still cant believe it. Idk what I'm gonna do.

Dear god.

[readerwatch]

Hcs for the blackwatch boys + Jack and Reinhardt taking their s/o's virginity? ❤️

（๑✧∀✧๑） 4 birds 1 stone (very long post!!)

Part 2 | Part 2 v. 2

NSFW BELOW

How to open read-mores on mobile.

Gabriel

“Oh? I didn’t know you were still a virgin, amorcita. I feel honored.”

His hands slide across your skin carefully, removing any articles of clothing hindering his movements as he does.

Once you’re naked, he’ll observe your body. His hands will explore the sensitive skin on your sides, and travel down to your hips.

He’ll moves his hands down between your legs, toying with your arousal as he hovers above you, his brown eyes staring deep into your eyes. His fingers will glide between the folds, and he’ll slip a finger inside of you without warning.

“You’re already so wet for me.”

Once he feels you’re ready, he’ll slip another finger inside of you. He doesn’t want to hurt you, just make you feel good.

When he feels that you’re prepped enough, he’ll slide his fingers out of you and grab your hips once more, pulling you close to him.

He’ll palm himself for a moment as he looks at your cunt, making you cover your face in embarrassment.

“Look at this pretty little pussy,” He’ll murmur “It’s fixing to be mine.“

He’ll place himself in between your folds, rubbing the tip of his dick against the aching bud of your sex.

He loves to tease, the moans you make turn him on more.

Finally, he’ll position himself at your entrance.

As he does, he’ll reach one of his hands over to grab yours, squeezing it gently.

“Please tell me if it hurts too much, cariño. I’ll stop.”

He’ll move his hips forward slowly, and when he feels you tense up,  he’ll pause for a moment.

“Breathe, amorcita.”

Once you indicate that you’re okay, he’ll give your hand a reassuring squeeze, and continue to slide into you.

When his hips finally meet yours, he’ll lean over your body, sliding his arms underneath your body, one of his hands will be on the back of your head.

“Wrap your arms around me.” He’ll say, almost as if it were an order.

As you do, he’ll start moving his hips, setting a slow rhythm in order to get you adjusted to his size.

His thrusts will slowly get faster as he feels you loosen up and relax around him, eventually slamming himself inside of you.

He’ll whisper affectionate words into your ear.

Will also litter your neck and shoulder with sloppy kisses, his arms slowly uncurling from around your body.

His hands will travel to play with your breasts for a brief moment, his fingers pinching the perky buds of your nipples momentarily.

He’ll take a sharp intake of breath as he feels you get closer to your release, the fluttering of your walls making him groan.

His hands will scratch down your abdomen, down your thighs, grabbing the back of your knees.

“Say my name.”

Once he hears you call out his name, one of his hands will graze over your swollen clit, rubbing it in circles.

With one of your knees pressed forward, and his dick deep inside of you, you’ll come undone.

Which, also makes him come undone.

He’ll pull out of you before he does, spilling himself onto your stomach.

After both of you calm down, he’ll wipe your stomach off with a lingering T-shirt, then lay beside you.

He’ll give you the best after-sex cuddles.

McCree

“My word, darlin’. You shoulda told me sooner.”

He’ll ask you what position you’d like to be in, and is pleasantly surprised to hear that you want to be on top.

“You sure you wanna ride me, sweetpea? I ain’t gonna be gentle about it.” Once you reaffirm your decision, he’ll chuckle, pulling you over towards his couch.

He’ll have you strip in front of him, eyeing your body as you slowly remove your clothing. His hands will be on the bulge of his pants the entire time, rubbing himself through his jeans.

You get nervous once you’re down to your bra and panties, toying with the waistband of your underwear, biting your lip.

“Now, sweetheart. No need to be so coy, you know how much I want to see your body.”

He’ll lean forward, placing his hands on your waist, his rough calloused hands sliding against your smooth skin.

He’ll also place a small kiss against your abdomen, whispering how beautiful you are.

You giggle a little bit as his scruffy beard tickles your stomach, making him look up at you.

His hands slide down to your hips as he looks up at you, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of the thin material covering your sex, a smug grin on his face as he quickly pulls your underwear down to your knees.

He’ll lean back a little, sliding your underwear down your legs, having you step out of them.

Once you’re out of them, he’ll grab your hips and pull you into his lap. His hands will adjust your legs to straddle his waist.

He’ll place his hands back on your hips, pressing you down onto his crotch, the material of his jeans rubbing against your sex.

The cold metal of his zipper will rub against you clit, and you’ll moan suddenly, making his hands grip your hips tighter.

“I liked that sound,” He’ll say, his hands roaming towards your chest as he pushes your bra up, leaning forward and taking one of your breasts into his mouth “Make it again.”

As his mouth licks and sucks your nipple, making you moan incessantly,   one of his hands will snake around your waist, the other one unbuttoning his pants, freeing his erection.

“God, I could just eat you up.” He’ll mutter against your chest.

Lifting your hips up, he’ll line himself up with your entrance.

“Take your time, sweetheart. Don’t want ya’ hurting yourself.”

When you finally muster up the courage to lower yourself onto him, he’ll groan, the feeling of his dick entering you makes him lean his head back.

His hands will steady your hips as he feels them shaking, his fingernails sinking into the sensitive flesh.

He’ll thrust his hips upward suddenly, his cock thrusting into you almost fully. When he hears you cry out in both pain and pleasure, he’ll apologize for being so rough.

He’ll rest his back on the couch, lazily thrusting his hips upward as you get adjusted to him.

“You feel so good, so goddamn good.” He’ll mutter through gritted teeth.

The sight of you bouncing up and down on his cock is almost enough to make him come undone, but he restrains himself, waiting for you to orgasm first.

He’ll sit up, wrapping one of his arms around your torso, his mouth moving back to your chest as he starts to thrust into you harder. His free hand will snake between your thighs, pressing against your the aching nub, moving his fingers in circles. When he feels your walls start to contract, he’ll chuckle.

“That’s it darlin’, come for me.”

You cry out his name as you orgasm, wrapping your arms around his neck in order to steady yourself. Jesse will sheath himself all of the way inside of you, his seed splattering against your walls as he orgasms momentarily after you.

You’ll both wait a moment before speaking, McCree the first to speak.

“So, did you enjoy yourself, beautiful?”

Will rub your back as you lay against him, not removing himself from you for a good minute.

Pt. 2/3 probably tomorrow, this post is long af as it is with just two of them LOL. You’ll get Genji/Jack then Hanzo/Rein in one post.

[sambashua]

questions tag

I was tagged by the cutest sweetheart @shinwrons​ aka my fave penta stan thanks for tagging me mariah:D

What are your five favorite songs from your bias group?

as most peeps well know, my bg is SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN and ugh i love all their songs so much this is a real struggle but i think Pretty U, Beautiful, NO F.U.N, Healing and Fronting are the ones I listen to most consistently ??? (this was my biggest struggle in my 19 years idk man i like all their songs listen to them all)

What are your five favorite songs (kpop) not from your bias group?

Well this is even more difficult but I’ll list some I’ve been listening to a lot recently bc I am super indecisive: Blackout by VIXX (bc i finally added it to my playlist thanks to cass), CAMO by BoA (dude this song is so good i’ve listened to it so much she is my queen), Running 2 U by NCT127 (ah this song is so lit by i wish it was longer tbh), Happy by WJSN (i go so hard to this song) and You Smile by ASTRO (this might be my favorite astro song ever idk i just love it so so much like i love baby a lot but 10/10 shoulda been their title imo)

(um okay so i can’t just put five bc i’m a ho so imma do another five girl groups and five boy groups and these are the ones i listen to a lot not just recently more like long-time faves idk) (also this is so much ya don’t gotta read this i just get eggcited abt music)

Why So Lonely by The Wonder Girls (this was one of my first favorite gg songs after mamamoo and hyuna and stuff so it holds a v special place in my hort and i used to watch the dance practice on repeat that whole summer lol i miss them now i’m crying), Like a Cat/Heart Attack by AOA (ugh i can’t choose between these songs i listen to both all the time i just love aoa and i hope choa rests well and gets better) (also have you seen the dp where they dance in cat onsies honestly iconic), Rollin’ by Brave Girls (the mv is trash but the dance is lit like how much thigh power do they possess i’ve tried and i can barely do it for one chorus like ?? but support them pls also deepened and yoohoo are jams ugh), Why by Taeyeon (aka the loml) and Free Somebody by Luna (aka the second loml) (oops also coloring book by oh my girl)

All In/Need U by Monsta X (i listen to these alllll the time), Heartbreaker by NCT 127 (AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH), Wake Me Up by B.A.P (jam of the century), Chained Up by VIXX (who doesn’t love this song tho) and Sherlock by SHINee (hoo hoo hoo what’s better than shinee’s back badadadadada)

What are your five favorite non-kpop songs?

I’ll just list my favorite song for my five favorite western artists! Falling by Florence & the Machine (but flo is my all time favorite artist ever and i love every single song she has ever released she is a musical genius), My Body Is a Cage by Arcade Fire, 4u by Blackbear, Woman by the 1975 and All You Are Is History by State Champs wait also My Brother Taught Me How to Swim by Passion Pit (ah i love all their songs so much) AH SHOOT also Still by The Japanese House okay that’s all~

Who is your bias and why do you like them?

hmmmm well idk abt you but i just hate jeon wonwoo what a gross nerd who reads a bunch o books and makes dumb puns and laughs unnecessarily hard at the pain of others and is generally very violent w skinship and can’t eat seafood and is wayyyy overconfident and always hides his hands if he’s wearing long sleeves and is generally very shy and introverted and is afraid of dogs and cried at me before you and thinks he’s the best gamer in the world and has the dorkiest,  most adorable smile where his nose crinkles up and wow how gross don’t like him at all idk what to say

What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”?

ahhh mariah i totally agree w you~~ my ‘style’ is just generally comfy lol usually i wear leggings and a t-shirt tbh but my job requires me to wear real pants rip so for work i usually wear jeans and an okay shirt ? my staple piece is long sleeve t-shirts tho i wear them all the time even in summer here it gets p hot but if i can i wear log sleeves and pants bc i’m crazy apparently. i like sweaters a lot too and jeans but idk i’m just so lazy when it comes to fashion help me

For your bias group, what was your favorite hair style/era for each member?

um this is illegal ugh okay 

scoops~ either nice era or last summer for kcon ny w his grey/silver hair i mean come onnnnn

hannie~ ummm his is difficult bc he’s def had the most range w his hair... but i’m gonna have to say pretty u era bc ?? i liked it so much but i feel like a lot of people didn’t?? he looks good w any hair tho tbh (also to clarify i do not mean the extensions bc those were low key cursed just his bob okay)

shua~ BISH IF YOU THINK I WOULDN’T SAY NICE ERA PEACH SHUA THEN YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND I DON’T KNOW YOU

jun~ okay i seem super nice era biased?? but surprisingly i really loved his blonde hair i thought the styling was good and the HEADBAND yes but also boom boom era was iconic bye

hosh~ well hosh legit always looks good rip but i think i really loved pretty u (all the hats were so blessed) and boom boom eras! his light hair for mansae and the light blue/silver were also frickin bomb af but i generally prefer dark hair~

wonu~ i think i talked abt this before but i reallyyyyyyyy loved pretty u/shining diamonds concert ugh also ofd1 (shoot i can’t find any pics but it was basically this but softer or award shows 2016 ah plz he always looks good tho and his hair rn is so good too ugh it’s like ofd reminiscent (i had 400 tabs open for this i h8 me self)

jihoon~ wow okay def nice era once again! damn i shoulda just say nice era for everyone and called it a day rip but also come on adore u era was everyone’s fave fight me HA FOUND A POST WHICH COMPARES THE ERAS WOW BLESSED

dokyumie~ my fave for him was for sureeee adore u era! normally i prefer bangs but seokmin is one of a few boys who i actually prefer his hair up ???

gyu~ as expected probably pretty u era! he just looked like such a soft puppy LIKE HE SHOULD!! but damn his black hair is so good too bye

hao~ he is always the cutest lbr but he looked incredibleee w his silver hair for highlight and also pretty u bc i am such a ho for brown hair why

boo~ honey blonde boo is such a blessing but he looked so cute for adore u too how it was styled up a bit AND ALSO MANSAE OR NICE W THE RED BROWN COLOR ICONIC AND ROSE QUARTZ BOO IT WAS TOO SHORT LIVED

bernonnie~ high key anything after mansae era destroys my life but i’ll say pretty u just bc he looked so young and cute ahjgka but i mean nice, boom boom and dwc are illegally good too so (look how softtttt)

chan~ p r e t t y u just bc that’s when my son started to grow up cry also his hair before that era was so endlessly tragic why pledis (boom boom was also v v good tho)

How did you “discover” kpop and how did you discover vixx?

okay i was like why vixx bc i didn’t realize someone else wrote this lol but kpop in general i found through youtubers yes yes and i was like wow dope then i only listened to bts for a couple months and here i am now (you can find a more detailed synopsis in basically any questions tag i’ve done if you haven’t seen it by now lol) BUT WOW VIXX HOW INTERESTING OKAY so i liked chained up and dynamite ya know back in the early days of my kpop career so like early 2016 i think then that spring/summer 2016 i was like okay i like bts and svt but i know there’s more out there *clenches fist* so i set out on the yt channel learnkpopnameswithme (?) and i saw vixx and was like wow cool i know a bit abt them and i watched a couple and i think i saw error and was like hollup this is too damn intense bye so i still listened to their music and stuff but i thought there were unattractive and i hated ken (I AM SO SORRY I LOVE HIM NOW IT’S OKAY) but i think when milky way mv came out i was like wow how good and pure! and then a month or two ago i really started watching more of them and their variety lol. but in conclusion i’ve known their names for forever but i was like not into them much haaaa sorry

What does your phone case look like?

it’s this sparkly grey case that’s half clear and looks like mountains/waves/granite/??? depending on who you ask but everyone asks me if it’s broken smh

Do you normally browse tumblr on your phone or on pc?

usually phone unless i’m already on my computer ?? or if i’m writing a post ? like i’m on my laptop now so

How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night?

doing greatttttt when i started writing this it was my birthday so i was like yay i have plans but now i kinda don’t lol rip

i’m only gonna tag people i’m close ish with?? bc i can’t come up w any different questions and these are p good! @king-hao @kyungminie @yooncheoly @atshinee @hoshi-ssi @jungnoir @moonhyook @s-lay-ing@everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking @honestlay ofc only do this if you want but i’d like to see your guy’s answers

[symplegades]

i’m gonna do one of those old facebook note quiz things from 2010

Are you ready to answer these questions honestly even if it starts to get hard? ya How old is the last person you kissed on the lips? 27 Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with? my best friend from undergrad What were you doing at 12 am last night? getting into bed/falling asleep Does the person you like, like you back? um i hope so!!!!!!! we share a bed????? Have you ever walked away from someone who was yelling at you? unclear. maybe but i think i’d be too squeamish to do that, i’d just stand there and cry Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? nah i always have to talk it out either with them or someone else, and both options usually end in me getting over it/getting closure and going back to normal Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yep When you say you don't care do you mean it? i don’t say i don’t care very much, so i guess when i say it i do mean it? i’ll have to pay attention next time Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? nah i kissed mike while he was still covered in shaving cream it was yikes Have you ever cried cause you were so mad? oh absolutely, like 100% of the time What's your favourite color? cool colors. <-- what i wrote in 2010 but still true What color is your shirt? grey with purple lettering What do you hear? netflix, i’m watching this movie ~out of the dark~ Last person of the opposite sex you gave a hug to? actually my friend kevin from grad school! i just ran into him at work Are you sitting or standing? sitting. <-- also written in 2010, also still true Are you keeping a secret from anyone? um probably Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? ya Have you kissed someone with braces? yes. <-- i don’t remember that but apparently yes Are you short? ok in 2010 i wrote yes but i think i’m actually pretty average or even taller than average. maybe i was shorter in 10th grade What would your last name be if you were married to the last person you texted? ok i just texted like 3 people at once. i guess velez Last picture comment was from? did this mean, like, on myspace or facebook? idk who was the last person to comment on my fb photos. oh actually you know what a friend of a friend went through all my public posts including photos and commented on all of it and it was rly offputting, so that’s who How was your day overall? p good, i applied to 2 jobs and got called back for a second interview for another job (FINALLY) Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? probably SOMEONE in the world. maybe my ma Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? ok mike tried to kiss me after our first date but i was like no that is creepy. and looking back i’m like aw so sweet we shoulda kissed! but no it was still uncomfy that he was trying to kiss me a very short time after we first met Are you anyone's first love? pls. sure i guess, people in high school. Could you handle living together with the last person who texted you? lol maybe? i’ve never considered it. prolly we could find agreements/common ground So, the person you like, their name starts with a B, doesn't it? it does not. <-- still true Is the person you last texted single? negative. <-- also still true Do you think age matters in relationships? i mean it’s totally dependent on context. we talking about 16 and 18 year olds or 16 and 32 year olds? i guess it always MATTERS it just depends on how it matters, like being similar ages kinda matters bc you’ve had similar life experiences at similar points in history and being very different ages matters bc you gotta wonder what’s going on. but once you’re over like, 25 i feel like bigger age gaps are more acceptable depending on what’s going on in folks lives. idk. How is your hair right now? it’s okay, up in a pony. actually i thought it was in a bun but i just touched it and it is a pony, usually it’s a bun when i’m home Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? nah he’s cool, although sometimes i have trouble following his thought process Where was your default picture taken? my prof pic on fb was taken at columbia Who's the last person you took a picture with? yikes, ahhhh... probably mike. Are you waiting for something? a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you get your last bruise? who knows. <-- still true. i’m not sure i currently have any bruises? Do you believe in love? yes. <-- still true What are your plans for the summer? ikea with sami tomorrow, permit on monday, kate's birthday party monday night, possibly beach with em sara hayley + meg on tuesday, dermatologist on wednesday, california with sami from friday to tuesday, one week home, to maine for 2 weeks, one week home to schedule driving time and finish summer reading and find a job. wooo!

^^^^^sorry i just wanna preserve that 2010 message bc it’s so wholesome and high school-ish and carefree.

my actual summer plans are just intense job hunting and getting a job. then maybe planning a trip home or to maine, then planning a china trip but probably won’t happen this summer. What was your first thought this morning? wa wa why is my alarm going off Have you kissed anyone this month? ya Could you date someone taller than you? sure Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again? uhhh. yeah i’m sure there are things i didn’t do great. idk? Have you ever gotten butterflies from someone? oh yes. <-- lol wtf? “oh yes”? ya sure idk Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts? sometimes. i think when i was younger it was more exciting but now i’m kinda relieved when i wake up and don’t have notifications. Ever had braces? nope. <-- still true Do you enjoy Taco Bell or McDonalds? i haven’t eaten either in ages even tho i want to but i know i’ll just get diarrhea. but i’d probably get mcdonalds given the choice Have you ever walked on the beach at night? oh yes. <-- oh yes?? anyway the most prominent “walking on the beach at night” story was when i was on spring break with my friends in ghana (or maybe we were in togo?) and we got stuck in this beach house like a mile down this deserted beach and it was like 2am and we’re walking and all super scared bc we’re a bunch of american girls in a foreign land and then 2 random dudes come out of nowhere and we’re all like NO LEAVE US ALONE and they somehow follow us to our house? and like try to come in? and we’re all f r e a k i n g out bc we’re afraid they’re gonna attack us but then my friend who is naive and trusting opens the door and we’re all screaming like DON’T OPEN THE DOOR but then i guess he just asked if we like... needed matches or something. anyway it was a lot What were you doing at 2AM this morning? sleeping.  <-- still true Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? nope it was mike’s mom Has a girl sat on your bed before? yes although actually i don’t think that has happened in this apartment? no one ever really goes in the bedroom except mike and me. but maybe in the old apartment girls had sat on my bed before. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? chatting with my friend and getting my thread organized Ever kissed anyone 18 or older? lol ya Math or English? womp. english? i’m poop at math now i haven’t taken it since i was a freshman in undergrad Do you have any twins in your family? i don’t think so, which is surprising bc it’s a pretty big family Are you shy? depends on the setting and how comfy i am feeling Are you close with your siblings ? meh depends on the day. i think sometimes my middle sister mom’s me too much/nags me/treats me like a baby. You'd say "Fuck you" to your ex, ain't I right? which ex? i mean probably not, what’s the point? How you feeling? kinda hungry Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? lol nooooooooo What do you think of boyfriends/girlfriends calling each other by food names? i think it is hilar and i wish mike and i did it If you're single, then why don't you get a boyfriend/girlfriend ? not single but also this question unnecessarily adheres to the gender binary also even if i was single i don’t need a partner heck! When was the last time you were craving to get drunk? wah not in a while, i can’t hold my alcohol and mike doesn’t drink so it’s not very fun I don't know about you, but I like saying "fuck" a lot. Do you? not like a LOT. when appropriate Do you think you'll be one of those people that will get a divorce in the future? eep i hope not? does anyone consider themselves “one of those people”? Who did you last hug? my best friend from undergrad Have you ever done something that was really bad for yourself? dur Is it worth crying over a guy or a girl? i mean... crying is crying. it’s not a question of worth it or not. if you wanna cry then cry Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? ya but we’d need to do a lot of emotional repair Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? oh absolutely i was trying to pretend that i wasn’t running horribly late but i was and i made her stand around for so long and she was pissed Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? probably Are you wearing pants? shorts. does that count? <-- same Would you date someone twenty years older than you? womp not right now i’d feel a bit yikes. maybe if i was like 60 and they were 80 or something. it feels better to me if we’re both old lol Is your birthday in less than 6 months? nah Would you ever quit a bad habit for someone? i did actually! i was still smoking a bit when mike and i got together and he really hated it/asked me to stop Have you ever felt guilty about something you didn’t do? oh absolutely lol i feel lots of emotions about everything Do looks matter the most to you? nah Are you looking forward to tomorrow? meh Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yeah! What are you doing after this? probably gonna make french fries Is something bothering you? unemployment ;( Three days from now, will you be in a relationship? i don't even know if i'm in a relationship NOW. <-- o shit 2010 alicia??? wyd?? you good???

anyway ya i hope so Has someone ever made a promise with you and broke it? i’m sure Will your next kiss be a mistake? hope not! Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? we goin on 3 years here so Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mommy. <-- still true!! we literally talk every day if not multiple times a day. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment? nope! What are you doing tomorrow? sigh probably clean... apply for another job. cross stitch lol What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? he still likes me (: <-- i’m so sad for 2010 me. what is going on? i’m so sad.

and i have no clue what my last thought was, i think i was wondering if mike wanted me to stop leaning on his arm Do you get along more with girls or guys? girls are beautiful and perfect and guys are yikes until proven otherwise next Do you remember who you liked on New Years? lol ya this same guy Have you ever intentionally pissed someone off? probably? Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? nah The person you fell hardest for calls, what do you say? hey!!! how's phoenix?! why are you talking to me and not your arizona brethren? <-- ooooooooooh it’s when i dated this white missionary boy who i loved so much but he def did not love me but i was like, just totally infatuated. my best friend from high school refers to this boy as my renaissance bc i after dating him i started dating much cuter people lol

um anyway it’s hard to quantify who i fell hARDEST for i guess? i mean i’m currently in the process of marrying mike so i think he wins. if he called i would ask how bar night was and when the transformers movie is starting bc he got free tix from work Do you think someone has feelings for you? lol he better Have you done anything sneaky lately? hm hm. i don’t think sneaky. Do you find smoking unattractive? sigh i shouldn’t but i do think it makes ppl look sooooo COOL Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? ya we like live together How many cigarettes have you smoked today? zero. <-- still true! Kissed someone who's name started with an N? hmmmmm. when i studied abroad i kissed a LOT of people so i’m sure one of their names started with N When was the last time something bothered you? lol what? constantly? Was last night terrible? nah it was good just a quick turnaround of getting home and going to bed. i ate a lot of watermelon which was gr8 What does your hair look like right now? pony-ish First person to speak to you in '09? lmfao damn i’m dating myself. idfk. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? i mean, i’m not worried about losing them, but yes i’d be afraid or upset if i lost them Are you basically a happy person? i hope so! Do you wish you could take things back? meh. no regerts and all that Have you ever wondered what life would be like without your best friends? omg what?? no?? it would be terrible?? Last person to make you seriously mad? prolly bigots Be honest, are you starting to gain feelings towards anyone? i’m like 3 years in so Do you think relationships are even worth it? well fuck i hope so lol Does anyone completely understand you? i mean no one will ever ~~completely~~ understand me but ya i have lots of people i am close to and whom i trust a lot Did you hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yep! Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? lol yes smh Where do you see your ex in 5 years? sigh i have a lot of ex’s don’t put me on blast like this. a few of them are already married so. idk. employed? Your ex runs into you and hugs you, what do you do? which. one. actually it doesn’t rly matter bc if any of them did that i’d be like wat Who was your last missed call from? my dad, we were playing phone tag on father’s day Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? yeah one from my best friend from high school saying “wtf” bc i told him about how rats can eat snakes if you’re not paying attention when you feed your snek When you and your friends are out and about do you usually get dirty looks? wut? i mean no but probably when i was a teen or preteen we were annoying and did get dirty looks Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films? i lOOOve these films but if it’s about like home invasions i get scared, or like things that live in your house Favorite fruit? god i love fruit. raspberries, applies, cherries (but i’m allergic now :(((((((( ), melon, oranges, the whole shebang. When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind? yikes.com What are your chances of getting with your crush? smh i think they’re pretty good Who did you talk to on the phone last, and why? mom bc i was walking home and wanted to chat with her Do you always answer your phone? yes always Ever worn something of the opposite sex's clothing? dur Which do you enjoy more, to eat or sleep? lmao ahhhhhh i guess eat. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? i mean, yes i have a partner who is a man who i love dearly but he’s not like ALWAYS on my mind, like rn i’m not rly thinking about him but i do care for him a lot and think of him often/want to share most things with him Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? who??... is my latest ex...... either that aaron guy from okcupid or -- omg CONNOR sigh omg poor boy i hope he’s okay. i hope he doesn’t think about me omg Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? mike Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? i mean what’s EVERYTHING... like within reason yeah Your best friend tells you, you have a drug problem, you say? ah i love you and we will get through this lets research our options together

[something-wicked-sims]

Chapter 19 Replies: Part 1

Okay so I didn’t get involved (too much) in the reactions to the last chapter, and I swore to myself that I would only post the rest of the story on tumblr if the comment section didn’t turn into a flaming heap of “Robo Roen” and “Fuck yeah Klaney”, so I appreciate that! And I’ll post book three... eventually. And for those of you who haven’t realized, yet, lazysunigor/roen is my (very) opinionated husband, so this has been entertaining LOL. Anywho, my replies will probably be biased because I am not really a Klein fan, or Laney fan, or a Klaney fan, aside from them being pretty pixels. Which has made this whole story totally insufferable for me.

@thesimperiuscurse @furiouslydecaffinated @stillgotme

So here are my extremely out of order replies:

@furiouslydecaffinated replied to your photoset

Roen made it sound like he ended the engagement with Chelle which effectively dropped his inheritance when he met Laney. Maybe it wasn’t like that. Also, Chelle got hers, unfortunately, she wasn’t able to handle the same treatment she gave to Laney. Boohoo. That’s probably not the Laney Way, but I especially don’t feel sorry for either Scotti or Chelle.

Roen giving up his inheritance happened before he met Laney, and had nothing to do with her/wasn’t her decision in the first place. I agree with you that neither Chelle nor Scotti were innocent, and Chelle especially was deserving of a taste of her own medicine, but being petty and vengeful doesn’t necessarily breed a good person LOL. I would have done most of the same things in Laney’s position, but I don’t really see myself as a good person either... lmao

@furiouslydecaffinated​ replied to your photoset

Okay, so I must be cold hearted but if I’m remembering correctly, it was Scotti that freaked out and didn’t want to have anything to do with Laney when she wouldn’t review her restaurant. Like, the whole thing felt like that was the only thing she cared about at that point. So she was going to apologize months after the fact? Well, okay, but that doesn’t make Laney a bad person for not wanting or caring to renew that relationship.

True! But I think we’ve all had relationships where we’ve forgiven or moved past some pretty bad behavior. She was her best friend of eight years. 

@thesimperiuscurse​ replied to your photoset

Wait wait I forgot Klein doesn’t know Laney is with Roen… what if he finds out and thinks she was using him or something? 😨 I’m pretty sure Klein wouldn’t approve of cheating. 

I feel like I should have replied to this one globally, because it’s a really good point so HEY, EVERYONE READ THIS REPLY! It doesn’t come up much in this incarnation of the story, but my biggest problem with the Klaney ship is that no one seems to take Klein’s personality into account. A lot of people were saying they were meant to be and blindly spitting fire at Roen or shipping them without realizing that Klein has little emotional depth. In this case, Hubby was right. Klein doesn’t know implicitly that Roen and Laney were dating, though he suspects there was more at play when she got promoted. However, had he actually known that Laney was in a relationship it would have made little difference to him. Klein cares very little about things which do not directly involve him. So, to answer that comment, yes. Klein would have been okay with cheating.

@thesimperiuscurse​ replied to your photoset

I’m agreeing with the hubby again! Roen isn’t at fault here, and while Laney is -or was- a sweetheart I am scared of what she is turning into. I mean she’s definitely not doing it intentionally but most of the pile of poop that is building up right now is a result of her not thinking things through properly, like what happened in this chapter. And the dress. And Scotti. And Chelle.

I agree! You can say all this junk about “oh, she’s stressed, oh she’s pressured” but we are all responsible for our own actions, every single one of them. You don’t get a free pass just because someone was mean to you, or your job is difficult. So while there may be reasons why Scotti and Chelle “deserve” a taste of their own medicine, it doesn’t mean Laney wasn’t being a huge bitch to them, lol.

@furiouslydecaffinated​ replied to your photoset

She didn’t have the chance to say no about his inheritance or him ordering the black card. He chose to do it without asking her.

Oh, oops, I shoulda put this with the other one. But yeah, I said my part about the inheritance having nothing to do with Laney. I think it would be fair to say he pushed the card on her, except he really didn’t. It was stupid to do it as a surprise without talking to her, but she could have said no. I know it’s considered rude in some cultures to refuse a gift... but... LOL And then turning around and using said card to buy lunch/a new chair/a $2000 dress would imply that maybe she didn’t feel so “pressured” by him after all. 

@stillgotme​ replied to your photoset

Am I saying she’s excused for her behavior? No, definitely not. But as someone who has also struggled with communication I understand her intentions weren’t bad, just badly dealt with. She’s in the wrong, but she’s not the villain. That’s just what I think tho.

@stillgotme replied to your photoset

On the subject of Laney being the “villain” I don’t really think she’s the villain and that it’s more complex than black and white here. Laney is flawed and she’s not dealing with it in the best way but it’s a bit of a reach to say that Chelle wouldn’t “stoop to her level” especially since we don’t know what things Chelle has done herself.

I don’t think people are ever just black and white, but I think the idea of villain is subjective. What I was really trying to get across here, is that people are rarely ever innocent, and not always deserving of defense, because we all hurt, and we all hurt others. But I think that considering Laney to be a victim in this story would be wrong. She is only the victim of her own bad decisions, and other people end up getting hurt because of that. Though, fair to say that we don’t know what Chelle does in her day-to-day life, or how horrible she is when Laney’s not there for her to take her wickedness out on lol.