#should i put together the links for each month's full image posts?

[jpivot]

continuing the tradition, heres my art summary for 2023! (though i must admit, i cheated on december's by working on it a little more during this january)

as always, heres a link to last year's. and hey, while im at it, heres a link to all of the previous years. wow! thats 12 years worth of art

[tspud-whiteboard]

[Full Previews, Final Files and Extras can be found on GoogleDrive!] !!! THE DEADLINE HAS ARRIVED !!! (End of June it was) I am currently working on putting together the final files, but as this might take a while, YOU CAN STILL KEEP SENDING ME YOUR FELLAS! Once I’ve prepared the actual, finished, fullsize versions, this pinned post will unpin itself and I’ll put a different one here, with the final previews, the download links and some information what the future may hold... maybe I’ll do a Season Two if the interest is there. But we’ll have to see about that. For now, [SUBMIT MORE] like the wind while you still can! Hello, hello! Welcome to The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe Whiteboard Collaboration (a just-for-fun fan project)! I’m assuming that you found your way here because you’re well aware what The Stanley Parable is, and that you are curious to know what a Whiteboard Collaboration might be about!

Let me cut straight to the case then. It all started in 2023 - the 27th of April, to be precise - which just so happened to be the One Year Anniversary for the release of The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe on Steam and consoles, along with the historically very important and internationally renowned - or at the very least grudgingly accepted - 4/27: STANLEY DAY!

To celebrate the occasion, and only one day too late on the 28th, an idea came forth to put together a Whiteboard, containing all those Stanleys by all the fan artists out there (all credited, of course!), a worthy tribute to the Man of the Hour! And as you can see... we’ve already got quite a few collected!

But why stop there? Since plenty of people also came up with their own Narrator designs, and there’s a good few Timekeeper-Settings-432s and Curators, and plenty of other characters (defining the term loosely here), we might as well give them all their own little space to look absolutely dashing next to each other! Imagine, all those different designs, united in one glorious collection!

My point being... I’d love to see yours in there as well.

So... how can you join in?

The gist can be found up there in the first image, but let me also put it into text form down here, with some extra information:

[Submit] your Stanley, Narrator, 432 or Curator mugshot (or all of them at the same time!). You have [some other canon TSP favorite]? Go ahead, submit ‘em, too! We’ll find a spot. The format of the picture needs to be 300px (width) x 400px (height) to fit with the others. I can resize and cut them into shape if needed, but it’ll be easier on all of us if I don’t have to do that. All pictures will have a small white frame added by me afterwards, to give them that authentic printout flair.

Should the [Submit] button not work for you (I triple-checked and it works for me, but then who knows what this thing does while I’m not looking), sending your artworks through PM or tell me where you posted them is fine as well!

AUs and all art styles are fine! Please only submit one picture per character (if you have more than one design, maybe pick your favorite, or elegantly squeeze them into one picture. If you absolutely cannot decide, sending two pictures per character is okay, but I’d like to cap it there to give everyone equal amounts of space.

Must be Safe For Work!

This is also very important: Tell me how to credit you! Your name will go under your artwork, I do have to put something there. I’ll likely default to your username if I have nothing else to go by, but it’s best if you directly tell me, right there in your submission.

I will publish your submission(s) on here as soon as I’ve added it to the queue, so you’ll know it went through okay, and so you can show it around to others if you wish! (I can’t do that with PMs, of course.)

THE DEADLINE: Please try to submit your artworks before the End of June! Yes, 2023. This month. In this year. There’s a chance I’ll change this if a sudden influx of new entries rolls in, but as of now it looks like it’s a good time to start wrapping this up. I want my life back and all. ...But prove me wrong, why don’tcha? Why not tell your favorite TSP artists that they NEED TO BE ON THIS THING? NEED TO! WE CRAVE THEM, PRECIOUS. ...Sorry, got carried away there.

I give updates regularily. Previews of the latest Whiteboard statuses, questions that need answering, sometimes I might just add some nonsense rambles, all inclusive, for free.

The FINAL files, whenever they’re ready, will be 8000x4000px in size each and are mostly a much bigger version of the previews, with maybe a few small changes for the aesthetics.That’s quite massive. Humongous. It’s really impressive to browse all those artworks next to each other at that size. Here’s the [Google Drive] link, for all to download from and share around. So far, you can always find the latest Previews and a bunch of random Extras there, along with the first fullsize Stanley board as a test. Please do make suggestions if there’s better options, or if you can’t drive the Google.

I also post on Twitter and the Crows Crows Crows Discord server (fanart channel). If either of those are more comfortable options for you, or if you know someone on there who might also be interested in joining this collaboration, maybe poke me so I can give you directions. Or you might be able to find it yourself, I’m not actively hiding them away. Not even passively.

I think that’s all for now! If you have questions, suggestions, reservations, my Asks should be open. Looking forward to hopefully a lot more additions to the Whiteboards, there’s quite a few of you guys I’d loooove to see on there!

[newsiesficchallenges]

Event Weeks FAQ

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Every week has a theme! If you decide to create content, your creation must follow the theme as close as possible. For example- if the theme is Halloween, your work should have some relation to Halloween or another associated holiday. Or, if it’s a ship or character week, your work should be associated with said character(s). You may submit a drabble, a full written work, an artwork, a moodboard, or a mix of multiple. 

DO I NEED TO SIGN UP TO PARTICIPATE? 

You do not need to sign up to participate. There is no sign up. If you have created and completed a work that abides by the rules of the event and fits the theme, you can turn it in. If you have not, and ran out of time before the event ended, that is fine. There is more weeks, which you also don’t need to sign up for. You do not need to communicate anything to the moderator about your participation unless you are having problems. Just submit something if you have it.

WHERE CAN I FIND THE EVENT WEEK? 

The event week will be run through the @newsiesficchallenges account on Tumblr! The works will all be complied into an AO3 collection! 

WHEN WILL THE COLLECTION ON AO3 APPEAR? 

You will know months in advance about an event, and will have information about dates and themes way ahead of time. In the same regard, the collection on AO3 will always be posted two weeks in advance. You will have access to everything early. 

HOW DO I SUBMIT A WORK AFTER I’M DONE? 

To submit your work, go to AO3, and click Browse to scroll through the collections until you find the named collection (or, click the link posted through the @newsiesficchallenges Tumblr). Then, click Post to Collection and add your work! 

DO I POST MY ARTWORK/MOODBOARD ON AO3? 

Unless you absolutely can’t, yes! Just add the image to the same word box you would put a fic in, and you can post it! Please put in the description that it is an artwork or moodboard, and not a written work. Tags still apply. 

WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE AN AO3? 

Message either @newsiesficchallenges or @emmedoesntdomath on Tumblr if you want to submit something for one of the weeks. 

CAN I POST MY WORK ON TUMBLR, TOO?

You can! If you submitted an artwork or moodboard, it’s even recommended, just so your hard work can get more appreciation. If you do end up posting it on Tumblr, please make sure you tag @newsiesficchallenges and say what challenge it’s for! 

I DON’T KNOW IF MY WORK MATCHES THE THEME

If you are unsure, message either @newsiesficchallenges or @emmedoesntdomath on Tumblr, and it can be double-checked for you. 

WHAT IF WE’RE DOING A SHIP WEEK AND I DON’T SHIP THAT COUPLE BUT I WANT TO WRITE FOR ONE OF THE CHARACTERS? 

If it is a ship week, you may write for either that ship or just the characters. You can even write the characters in a platonic relationship. They do not have to be together. The week is simply about those characters’ interactions with each other, not as much about the semantics behind their relationship. As long as it is focused on those characters, it applies.

IF IT’S JUST A CHARACTER WEEK, CAN I WRITE THAT CHARACTER IN A SHIP?

You can! For example, Crutchie Supremacy Week! You could write any ship associated with Crutchie that you have, and it would be completely on theme! Just make sure it is focused on that character! 

IF IT’S A PLATONIC PAIRING WEEK, CAN I WRITE A SHIP? 

Depends on the week! If the week is specifically for platonic pairings, then I would kindly ask that you stick to platonic pairings. If it is a week for family, or a group of people, you can write romantic ships! Again, though, the ship is not the focus of the week, so it should not be what the work centers around. 

CAN I EDIT MY WORKS AFTER THE WEEK ENDS?

You can! Because this is not an exchange, you are not obligated to leave your work exactly as it is after the week ends. It is expected that your works are completed at the time of submission, but you can always go back and make edits. 

CAN I TURN IT IN EARLY?

Of course.

CAN I TURN IT IN LATE? 

Unfortunately, you can’t. The collection will close almost immediately after the event ends. If you planned to post something for the event and ran out of time, there is always a chance you could simply reuse your work for another event. Or, you could just post it separately. 

CAN I SUBMIT MORE THAN ONE THING? 

Absolutely! As many as you want! (Within the same rules and regulations, of course.)

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS SHOULD BE DIRECTED TOWARDS THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED CONTACTS.

[unbridgeabledistances]

hello! <3 once again will not have a new full-chapter update of ✨ian and mickey take over the alibi✨ fic for a day or two, but wanted to post this little fluffy preview featuring the first appearance of our girl bazooka gallagher-milkovich!!! hope u enjoy:’)

—

“Hey, Mick. C’mere. Look at this one.”

Mickey glanced up from where he was elbow-deep in a series of sudsy dishes in their too-small kitchen sink. Once again Ian had made some sort of pasta dish for dinner, with tomatoes and basil and some fancy fresh mozzarella (that he was surprised the little dingy grocery store on the corner even carried)— and even though Mickey grumbled about “fucking gourmet bullshit” and “I’m fine with ramen, man,” he’d still helped himself to multiple scoops of second servings while they’d eaten their first meal at the little circular table from Ikea they’d assembled earlier that afternoon.

Now Mickey was on dish duty— Ian was trying to get the two of them to divvy up household shit equitably, since the usual rule at the Gallagher house was “leave dishes in the sink until they start to smell, then blame someone else for them”; and Ian was leaning back in his chair at the table, scrolling through pictures of various dogs on the websites of the local shelters— when one listing caught his attention.

Pit Bull Puppies, Chicago area NEED HOMES FAST, 8 months old

He clicked on the link—there were a series of images of dogs from the same litter, most of them already claimed. Ian scrolled to the last available listing, holding up his phone for Mickey to see as Mickey strode towards the table, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

“Look, she’s got blue eyes. You guys match.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Stop being soft. Gimme your fucking phone.”

This friendly pittie comes from a troubled past and needs a loving home. She was found in a barn outside the city that is well-known for illegal dog fighting along with her brothers and sisters. She isn’t trained yet, and needs someone patient to give her a loving and active environment. She’s a sweetheart, and because she isn’t trained we would love for her new family to give her a name!

Ian saw a crease form between Mickey’s brows as he read the listing. “Sounds like a lot of fuckin’ work.”

Ian could sense Mickey’s hesitation, his gut impulse to immediately put a barrier between himself and this new, fragile thing to take care of, especially after their conversation the other night— but beyond that, he could also see that Mickey didn’t even believe himself as he said it. It was an impulse response, for Mickey, to immediately put up walls— and it was getting easier and easier for Mickey himself to be the one to tear them down.

“Yeah, but it’ll be fun. We can go see her if you want, decide if we think she’s a good fit.”

Mickey swallowed, his eyes still fixated on the picture on the phone screen. “Yeah, but it’s got, like… y’know. Trauma and shit. What if we fuck it up even more?”

Ian smiled. “We won’t fuck her up, Mick. We’ll give her a loving home with two dads and a shit ton of dog toys.”

Ian saw the gentle worry creeping into Mickey’s eyes at the word “dads”—and, okay, maybe that was too soon. Mickey had said he’d be fine getting a dog, and was excited about it the whole time they’d been furniture shopping—but in a weird way this did feel like a trial run for a kid, in a way they were both hyperaware of. There was so much there—this was Mickey’s first real try of taking care of someone that was totally dependent on him, after years of shutting out and pressing down those dark chapters of unwanted fatherhood.

Except it wasn’t just Mickey taking this on; it was both of them, together. Ian tried to show him that, as he reached a hand out to press against Mickey’s lower spine in a grounding touch, pulling him closer.

“Hey. Wanna just visit, to see if we click with her? It’s just a fucking dog, and an excuse to see some adorable puppies.”

Mickey rolled his eyes, then pursed his lips. He stared at the picture again. “Yeah, whatever.”

**

“Thank you so much for coming by—this sweetheart is the last of the litter, I’m so glad you both saw the listing so quickly!”

The dog shelter employee, a caricature of a kind-faced middle-aged midwestern woman wearing a cardigan and khakis, led them through the well-lit hallways, turning them into room filled with scattered dog toys and two folding chairs.

“This is our little meet and greet area, we’ll bring her in just a moment.” She shut the door behind her, leaving Ian and Mickey in the mostly-empty room.

Mickey’s eyes darted around curiously. “This doesn’t look like a fucking dog shelter, man. It looks like a preschool.”

Ian smirked, settling into one of the chairs while Mickey remained standing. “It’s a dog rescue center, I guess. Probably run by lots of people who are way too into the dog thing.”

Mickey shrugged, capturing his lip between his teeth contemplatively. “Whatever. And they’ll just let us take it home? If we want it?”

“Yeah.”

Just then the door creaked open—and in came the shelter worker once more, carrying a bundle of grey wrapped in a worn towel. She placed the puppy down on the floor.

“Like the listing said, she doesn’t have a name yet—but here’s our girl!”

The puppy rose to stand on her four legs— a little grey pit bull, with ice-blue eyes and a too-skinny frame, the lines of her ribcage jutting out through her thin fur. She was tiny—definitely smaller than Ian had realized from the pictures, and definitely smaller than an 8-month-old pit bull should be based on the bits of googling he’d done on the L ride over.

The puppy stretched her limbs out long, then stumbled over her too-big feet slightly to race towards one of the dog toys in the corner of the room. Once she captured it in her mouth she circled back contentedly and flopped down on the floor in the middle of the room, starting to chew on the corner of the bone sleepily.  

“She’s so little.” Ian crouched on the ground— and he could tell he was doing that little baby-voice thing he always did, where his voice went up ten pitches and went all fuzzy around the edges that Mickey always gave him shit for, but in this moment he didn’t particularly care.

“Hey there, girl. You’re such a sweetheart, aren’t you?”

Ian could tell Mickey was rolling his eyes behind him. He reached out a hand to pet the puppy’s fur—it was soft, velvety and warm. Slowly, the dog inched closer and wriggled herself to sit pressed against Ian’s lap, letting the bone fall out from the corner of her mouth and nestling her chin to rest on Ian’s upper thigh.

“She’s a little sleepy,” the shelter worker added. “She’s been pretty mellow since we received her, but we think with some good nutrition and some exercise she’ll have loads of energy. It’s just a matter of getting her back into good health.”

The scrawny puppy was sleeping now, her chin still tilted on Ian’s leg and her eyelids drooping shut.

“Mick, d’you wanna pet her? Her fur is so soft, it’s ridiculous.”

Mickey bit his lip again, staring at the scene from where he was still standing a safe distance away, a few paces behind where Ian was perched on the floor.

“Yeah, guess so.”

He kneeled beside Ian, tentatively reaching a hand out to stroke the dog’s head— almost like he was scared he’d hurt her, like he was scared he’d do something wrong. The corner of Mickey’s mouth ticked upwards a bit at the contact with the puppy’s soft fur— and then he rubbed her head again, giving her a gentle pat. The puppy’s eyelids lazily opened, her tail starting to sweep side to side against the linoleum floor.

“Uh. Hey there.” Mickey chuckled uncomfortably, but his uneasiness was starting to melt away. “Do I gotta, like, talk to it?”

Ian grinned. “You can do whatever you want.”

Mickey ran scratches against the dog’s scalp, then down her sides.

“She’s kinda skinny. I can feel her fucking ribcage.”

Responding to the touch, the puppy lazily rolled over onto her back, exposing her tummy to welcome belly-rubs. Mickey grinned, and reached out to scratch at the puppy’s tummy.

“You’re a pretty girl, aren’t you? That’s right. Yes, you are. Such a good girl.”

Ian smirked—and filed Mickey’s puppy-talk away in his mind as something to make fun of him for later; but not right now, when Mickey was still learning to do this, when the defensiveness and self-judgement had only just drained from his system and he was still second-guessing his every move.

The puppy nudged her wet nose into Mickey’s hand and licked at his palm; and Mickey laughed, almost jolting in surprise. His eyes crinkled as he looked over at Ian.

“This is the friendliest fucking dog I’ve ever met, man.”

Ian felt his lips curve into a smile. Of course Mickey hadn’t met dogs that were this bubbly and friendly; half the dogs he’d had exposure to were chained in Southside front yards, trained to rip each other’s throats out and bark viciously at people walking by. Ian hadn’t really been near many dogs either; but seeing his husband immediately melt in the presence of a puppy, the innocence and awe seemingly radiating off of him, made something warm pool in his stomach.

“Yeah, she’s pretty special.” Ian reached a hand out to try and pet at the puppy’s head, and she turned her neck to nip at Ian’s wrist with her pointy puppy teeth.

“There’s some of that feisty energy we’ve been hoping for.” The shelter worker smiled knowingly. “Are you two interested in taking her home?”

Ian lifted his gaze from the squirmy puppy rolling on the ground between them to meet Mickey’s eyes.

“Mick?”

**

They called Debbie to pick them up from the shelter, since the logistics of taking a brand-new puppy on the L with them without a leash or collar seemed like too much to handle, even if she would probably just sleep the entire time. Debbie had spread an old towel in the back next to Franny’s car seat and Ian plopped the puppy into the middle seat, opting to sit shotgun next to Debbie while Mickey kept Franny and the puppy company in the back.

They were almost back at the Alibi now, and Ian was half-listening to Debbie prattle on about what slobs her new roommates were, and how she had half a mind to U-Haul with Heidi— when he tuned in to Franny and Mickey’s conversation in the backseat, the puppy sleeping soundly between them.

“What d’you think, Little Red— what’s the best dog name you can think of?”

Ian noticed Franny furrowing her brows from where he could see her in the rearview mirror. “Hmmm. How about… Queen Justice? That’s the name of my favorite wrestler. And the name I gave the fish Mommy got me.”

Mickey chuckled, and Ian raised an eyebrow at Debbie, cutting her monologue off mid-sentence. “Wait, you got Franny a fish?”

Debbie sighed. “Yeah. I felt bad about the move, and Monica and Frank never gave us shit like that when we were little. Figured I’d try to be a good mom or whatever.”

Ian smiled, reaching out to softly punch her in the upper arm. “That’s actually kinda cool, Debs.”

In the backseat, Franny was still thinking out loud.

“We have to name her after something you like, Uncle Mickey. That’s what Mommy told me about naming Queen Justice. What are your favorite things?”

Ian twisted in his seat to turn towards Franny and join the conversation. “Probably beer and guns, but neither of those things make good dog names, Fran.”

Mickey raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? Here’s a fucking relationship quiz then, lover— what’s my favorite type of gun?”

Ian rolled his eyes, contorting even more in his seat to twist and face Mickey. “I don’t fucking know, Mick.”

“A bazooka, bitch.” Mickey ran his hand over the sleeping puppy’s silky fur, scratching behind her ears. “Bazooka Gallagher. Or Milkovich. Or whatever. That’s a pretty good fucking dog name if you ask me.”

Ian felt a smile creep onto his face. Bazooka. “That’s honestly kinda perfect.” He reached his arm into the backseat to reach at the puppy. “Hey there, Baz. You like your new name? You ready for us to take you home?”

Bazooka’s eyelids drifted open, her tail starting to drum against the back of the car seat in a reaction to all of the attention. Franny reached down from her car seat and gave Baz a little peck on the head, and immediately Baz started licking all over Franny’s face, making her squeal and laugh and wriggle in her car seat as Baz shifted to stand on the seat and leaned closer to Franny’s face.

“It tickles! Uncle Mickey, she’s licking me!”

“Allllright.” Mickey reached to scoop the puppy off of Franny, wrapping Bazooka back in the discarded towel on the carseat and holding her like a baby in his arms. He scratched at Baz’s head again, then smoothed down her fur.

“We’re gonna take you home real soon, Bazooka Gallagher-Milkovich.”

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter twenty three: “Bokuto Hates Goodbyes”

Masterpost - Prev - Next.

Warning(s): post-timeskip manga spoilers!!

────────∘°❉°∘────────

“Tendou is going to quit volleyball after graduating. He wants to go to Paris to work as a chocolatier” you said, never taking your eyes off him. You sighed again, trying to find the words to tell him. Bokuto noticed your pause and smiled at you waiting for you to reply. “And I... I'm going with him.”

Koutarou's smile faded, along with the hope in his heart. 

Silence took over the atmosphere. You were trying to look at Bokuto, but he kept his gaze on the snowy ground. Neither of you had opened your mouths to say anything. Maybe because the correct words did not exist to express what you were feeling at that moment; you, remorse, and Bokuto didn't even know what to feel. Sadness, melancholy, happiness because you are going to fulfill your dream... fear of being forgotten. 

So many things to say, feel, live. 

“Why?” he asked, still with his gaze on the floor.

“Why…?”  you lashed several times. “Because I want to be a baker, fulfill my dream and my grandmother's... It's what I want, Kou.”

Koutarou started to shake his head from side to side, his hands over his hair. 

“Yes I know, but Paris?”  Bokuto looked at you for the first time, his eyes filling with tears. “That's like a million miles away!”

The snow kept falling on you two and the cold seemed to increase, but neither appeared to notice. The moment seemed eternal: Bokuto's tears that still did not come out, the imminent farewell, the silence that still continued ...

“We can continue to be friends, Koutarou, you shouldn't worry” the Owl turned to the opposite side of the school, and started walking away quickly. “Bokuto! Bokuto!” there was still no response on his part. “Koutarou, wait!”

Even though in his mind Bokuto had planned not to return, hearing his name come out of your mouth once more, he stopped short. He quickly turned to see you, your nose was red from the cold, and smoke came out every time you spoke when you apologized to him.”

“I don't want to be friends” shouted Bokuto looking straight into your eyes, with a tear rolling on his cheek. “I do not want you to go! W-we're just getting to know each other! It's not fair.”

Bokuto pouted while still staring at you. 

“We still have time, I won't be leaving for another month,” you said, but you knew it wasn't enough time. Not even a thousand years would be. “We'll talk on the phone!”

Promises that were very difficult to keep. Even if you wanted to, with the exams that would be shortly, and then in the cooking academy, it would be impossible to maintain much contact. You didn't know if you could even keep it with Emiko and Wakatoshi.

“Don't say things that later won't be true,” Bokuto said for the last time, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes. “Bye, y/n.”

And in a last act of desperation, you grabbed Koutarou by the wrist and then grabbed his coat tightly, then brought your lips together with his. 

After a few seconds, the light of a flash interrupted you.

“I'm sorry?” Emiko said with a nervous little smile. She had taken a picture of you kissing, and now she was slowly walking away so she could escape your creepy gaze. “I better go, haha. Byeee.”

Again the silence had taken over the environment. But this time, Bokuto's face was completely changed. His cheeks were flushed and he had a big smile on his lips.

“You like me too?” he asked suddenly. 

And even though you were speechless, you were able to whisper a little “yes”. Bokuto without warning held you with his arms, hugging you, and then started jumping up and down several times.

“Wait, we were fighting two minutes ago,” he said, making an angry face, but then his true colors showed and he started laughing. “Hey Hey hey! It no longer matters, we must take advantage of every second. Get ready, y/n, I'll come tomorrow at nine in the morning! Well maybe not that early, but I'll come before lunch!”

And here was another example where you could see the captain of Fukurodani change his mood quickly.

You said goodbye and you entered the academy again, thinking about how to assassinate Emiko. 

Tomorrow would be the last day you would see Bokuto in a long time.

And maybe forever. 

────────∘°❉°∘────────

───∘°❉°∘───

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Just as Koutarou had said the night before, at eleven in the morning he was at Shiratorizawa's gate, waiting for you to come out. It was not as early as he would have liked, but he had also arrived very late at the hotel, so he needed to sleep as well. Even though you were already walking towards the exit, two people arrived before you.

“Hello, Bokuto-san,” Tendou greeted. “Let's get straight to the point, what are your intentions with the little y/n? Ushijima and I are not very convinced that you go out with her so often. You were too late last night, and now it's too early. I hope you are not doing strange things out there. This is not Tokyo, my friend.”

“He is not your friend, Tendou” Ushijima said in a whisper, with his deep voice.

“I know, best friend, but I want to intimidate him” Satori whispered back, but he didn't realize that Bokuto had heard everything. 

In the distance, you came walking next to Emiko. You had already forgiven her for last night's photo, although she still hadn't deleted it from Twitter, and had even put it as your profile picture for a few hours until you noticed and took it out. You can tell that Tsukasa almost ran out of roommates. 

“Hey, aren't those Satori and Wakatoshi talking to your boyfriend?” She asked you, pointing to your friends and the one who wasn't your boyfriend really.

“I'm going to kill them.”

You sped up your pace to get there as quickly as possible and avoid disaster before it happens. But to your surprise, when you got to where the three of them were, all you could hear was laughter. Yes, even Ushijima.

“What is happening here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Satori, who you thought was responsible for this situation. And as always, you were right.

“Oh, nothing, y/n. Just old friends remembering old times” said Tendou with a rather forced laugh. Then, Ushijima and Bokuto also began to laugh out loud, while Koutarou made a danger signal with his eyes, and Emiko watched the situation in disbelief.

“I think Koutarou and I should go now” and before any of your friends could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and trotted off to Miyagi's main park.

Behind you, you could hear Tendou's screams calling for you to come back, but you ignored them and kept walking quickly in front of Bokuto.

Arriving at the park you could see several children with their parents playing in the snow, despite not having snowed today, there was still a little snow on the trees and grass.

“Thanks for saving me, things were getting ugly there,” he said as he took your hand that was on his sleeve, to be holding hands normally. “I have bad news.”

More bad news? You didn't think you were going to be able to endure another misfortune this weekend. It seems that Bokuto noticed your desperate face and squeezed your hand tightly to encourage you.

“They have suspended my bus for tomorrow, they say there will be a snowstorm in the afternoon so they have changed the schedule.” Nothing went right for tragic volleyball lovers. “I'm leaving tonight, so we can't see each other tomorrow.”

The world fell at your feet. How could everything go wrong for you? A lot of drama has existed lately.

“And now what?” you asked him.

“We live in the moment!” and without saying anything else, Bokuto started to run towards the ice skating rink, never letting go of your hand. 

The ice was full of small children, who watched Koutarou every time he made a few meters and fell letting out a scream. The kids laughed at the Owl's exaggeration, causing him to make it even more dramatic to obtain more laughter. Every time you fell, Bokuto would rush to get up and ask you if you were okay, even if you were laughing at yourself and had not suffered any injuries.

After skating for half an hour or so, you decided to go for lunch because it was already quite late. You went to the same cafeteria that you had gone to the day before, and you ordered something warm since today's temperature was even colder than yesterday’s. 

At the end of lunch, Bokuto asked you to show him around the city, although there was not much to show as it was quite small compared to Tokyo. You showed him where Karasuno High was, but you didn't go there since it was relatively far from where you were. He took several photos and sent them to Akaashi, and then to his mother. 

The hours passed quickly, reaching the time of curfew, which meant that you had to go back to school, and Bokuto to his hotel to find his bags and go to the station. Unfortunately, you could not accompany him before his bus leaves. 

“It's time to say goodbye,” you told him once at the entrance of the academy. "Thanks for coming to visit me, Kou.”

Before saying something to you, Bokuto put his arms around you. This time neither of you were crying, nor were sad. You were happy for the time you spent together.

“Goodbye, y/n, I'm going to miss you” and with a lot of bravery in his heart, Koutarou brought his lips to yours one last time. 

“I promise to call you.”

And so, Bokuto Koutarou said goodbye with a sad smile, knowing that that promise was nothing more than an empty promise.

And that at the end of all, it would not be kept. 

────────∘°❉°∘────────

────────∘°❉°∘────────

A/N: I know Bokuto’s hair isn’t exactly accurate in the photo but it was the best image I could find😩😩 sorryy

Btw who wouldn’t leave everything behind to go to Paris with Tendou Satori? I wouldn’t even think about it, my bags are ready!

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Tags in reblog!

(and also a little surprise!)

If you want to be tagged in these posts please send an ask.

You can also complete the form that is linked in the Masterpost.

Thanks for reading🥰

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Night Tour ~ KNJ [Request]

↬↬↬Word Count: 2K

↬↬↬Genre: Fluffy!!! Non!Idol Au, Street artist Reader! Museum worker Namjoon

↬↬↬Pairing: Namjoon x Gender Neutral Reader

Namjoon walked down the streets with his glasses on, he'd heard that the famous unknown street artist was out again and he was dying to get a glimpse of their work again. He'd slipped into a hoodie, jeans and put on his thick-rimmed glasses, he wanted to be ready to see the work that was bound to be amazing just like the rest. He had been walking around the streets for hours trying to find out where the artist would hit but it always changed whenever they did something, the last time it was an abandoned factory floor and Namjoon had just missed the artist. The paint cans were thrown to the side and the paint dripping wet so the artists couldn't have been far. His head spun around when he heard the familiar sound of a spray paint tin hitting the floor, he thought it could have been them but it was just kids spraying on the side of a dumpster. The first time he'd ever seen some of the artist's work was when he was walking home from a night shift at the museum he worked in.

The museum he worked in was four floors high, it was just an art museum where he took night shifts patrolling the corridors to make sure nothing was ever stolen he had hoped the night work would eventually lead onto the day work but it hadn't happened. So he spent most of his night walking around the museum and taking note on everything he saw, learning everything he could on each piece that was there. So much so in fact that he could probably give the guided tours with his eyes closed taking people around there. 

"See you tomorrow Namjoon," The day guard said as Namjoon walked out of the back entrance and into the alleyway of the museum where he was shoved against the wall quickly as someone in a hoodie raced past him, 

"Hey! Watch it!" He yelled out at the person when he was pushed against the wall again by two policemen who were racing after the first one. 

"Sorry, sir!" He shook his head at the officer that had apologised and began his slow walk home towards his apartment in the middle of town but that was when he noticed it, a giant spray-painting across one of the walls of a building in the alleyway. It was beautiful, the painting was telling a huge story about global warming and what it was doing to everyone around them. 

"Whoa." He ran his hand over the paint when he felt how wet it was, whoever the police were chasing must have been the artist that had created this masterpiece. He took a step back to admire it, even more, when he noticed the tag along the side of it, 

'Zee'

He took a photo of it on his phone before searching for the tag online, there had to be someone else who had seen this artwork before and as he walked he dove deeper into the artist. 

"An unknown street artist who goes by the name Zee, are they ruining property or just spreading a message?" He whispered to himself as he walked up to his apartment building and opened the door, he held it open for an elderly lady who thanked him before leaving. He clicked on images scrolling through to thousands of posts from people all sharing what amazing work that artist had done, it was incredible. Whoever Zee was, took things that were happening within the world and painted them onto the side of buildings, tracks and billboards so that people would finally come to their senses. 

"Who are you?" He whispered seeing the same black hoodie that had sprinted past him in the alley, people had caught glimpses of Zee before but never their full face. No one knew who they were or what they looked like. It was clear Zee wanted their identity to be hidden for a reason - mostly because of the cops Namjoon thought but this only intrigued him more as he continued scrolling for hours. Learning everything he could about their art style and being captivated by each masterpiece that could be found.

As he was about to give up on finding Zee when he heard sirens and someone yelled out a string of curse words before dropping something against the stone floor, his head snapped around to see the same black hoodie as before racing towards him only down the opposite side was four policemen. 

"Here!" You frowned hearing someone calling out to you, a guy who stood around 5''11 dressed in a hoodie and blue jeans was grabbing onto your wrist and pushing you against a wall, 

"Get off me!" You screamed wiggling against his grasp when he stood in front of you and titled his head to the side, he ripped down your hood and smirked. 

"Hi Zee," You groaned at him when you heard police rushing down behind him, 

"Excuse me," Namjoon turned to face them and you froze thinking that this was it, it was finally the moment you were about to get caught after all the years of work you'd done. 

"Yes, officer?" His hand linked with yours and automatically your heart began to pound against your chest, looking up at his sharp jawline and taking in his appearance. It was only now you were realising how good looking he was, his hair was blonde and to the side, he had huge glasses on that made his big brown eyes look adorable. 

"Have you seen someone rush by here? They would have been carrying paint with them?" You swallowed the lump in your throat trying to hide your paint covered hands behind Namjoon who pulled you closer and chuckled. 

"Sorry officer, I was a little preoccupied with my partner." The officer nodded before bidding you goodbye and going back towards the alleyway exit.

"You covered for me...Why?" You pulled your hand away from him not wanting to give in to the fact that just because he was incredibly good looking he could touch you like that.

"I find your work to be great Zee, always wanted to meet you." You nodded at him slowly and held out your hand for him to shake, 

"I'm Namjoon." He shook your hand and you felt that same intense spark from before rush through your body, sending shivers up and down your spine as he looked down into your eyes. 

"Y-Y/n." You stuttered out, you'd never told anyone your real name before. Sure fans had met you but you never told them who you were, it took away the allure to your work but with Namjoon it was different. The longer he stared into your eyes the longer you wanted to tell him everything about your life, as if he had some kind of weird superpower that drew you into him.

"What got you into street art?" You laughed softly as he questioned you, heading straight in for the questions but instead of being creeped out by the sudden interest it made you smile and feel warm inside. 

"W-well I-" You didn't know, you just viewed it as art and a way of sending a message, 

"I'd tried as a normal artist for years...Canvas's, photograph and stuff but it just never took off...Street art was a way of vocalising myself and what's happening in the world." Without even realising you were now walking together and towards the work you'd just done, it wasn't finished because the police had shown up, 

"I think your work is amazing." You smiled at him and began walking together towards your car, 

"I feel like I've seen you before." You mumbled as you reached a parking lot, you always parked in the same one next to the museum and he chuckled. 

"You pushed me against a wall a couple of months ago...Completely my fault I'd just walked out of work." You stared over at where he was pointing at the museum, 

"You work there?!" He nodded his head at you frowning as to why you seemed so excited about it,

"I love it there! I used to go all the time as a kid!" You yelled excitedly checking the time to see if you had time to head inside but it was getting close to their closing time, you never had time to go anymore. Between painting and work it had been hard to fit fun stuff into your life,

"Damn it."

"What?" He asked he hated that your smile had faded into a frown, 

"It's closing soon, I just- I wanted to go." You sighed leaning against your car and staring at it, he could already tell you were disappointed in not getting to go. 

"Meet me there tonight? In two hours? I'll sneak you in and we can have a night tour together." You stared at him with wide eyes, was he serious. 

"Like a date?" You whispered looking him in the eyes and biting down on your lip, it had been years since anyone had even come close to asking you out and your heart was thumping against your chest.

"Yeah...Yeah I mean if that's okay." He stuttered out looking at you with a giant smile on his face to match the one that was now painted across yours. 

"A night tour sounds perfect," You leant up taking charge of the situation and kissed his cheek, 

"I'll see you later Namjoon." You whispered before getting into your car and driving away from him while he sat there smiling wildly. 

"This is my favourite," You watched as Namjoon raced over to a painting of a huge garden full of couples. He went into a lengthy talk about what the painting was about and who had painted it, he had done it throughout the whole night and you smiled the whole time just listening in 'awe' as he spoke lovingly about every single thing within the museum,

"You should be giving the tours," You whispered when he returned back to your side, you took his hand in yours as you turned around one of the corners and walked towards some sculptures. You were almost done with everything inside of the museum and it had taken the whole night to get around everything because he would go into length talks. You didn't care though, spending all of this time with him made you feel special.

"What's this?" You asked walking over to a rope and he chuckled just shaking his head, 

"Just a rope," You titled your head to the side and pulled it, it drew open the curtains that were on the skylight right above you and you gasped looking up to see a clear night sky with the stars and moon right in front of you.

"Whoa." You whispered

"Looks like something you would paint." Namjoon chuckled looking up at the sky before down at you, you were busy staring into the sky you hadn't felt his eyes on you.

"W-What?" You stuttered out looking back into his eyes when he cupped your chin between his index finger and his thumb tilting your head up to look at him in the eyes before he began leaning down, your eyes fluttered shut as our lips came into contact with one another. Your arms moved around his neck while his wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him and kissing you softly under the starlight night. It felt like something that only ever happened in books and movies, the whole world seemed to brighten up the moment he kissed you and you. 

"Whoa," You whispered pulling apart from him and staring into his eyes, that was when there was small laughter coming from the other side of the room. You both pulled apart to see someone covered in tattoos with long black hair standing there, 

"Jungkook-" Namjoon when to complain but Jungkook held up his hand and shook his head, 

"You enjoy your date, I'll go back downstairs and main the first floor." Jungkook laughed leaving you both there embarrassed that you had just been caught in a makeout session.

"Friend of yours?" You laughed softly pulling back and holding his hand, he nodded. 

"Yeah...He works here on the bottom floor. I'm sorry-"

"Don't be, you can make it up to me later...On another date?" You questioned looking into his eyes and praying that he said yes, 

"I'd love to."

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies​ @snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ @lynnthevirgo​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @rjsmochii​ @callingmyangel​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @innersooya​ 

[fatoujallovv]

so here’s my disclaimer: I hardly know what I'm doing. This is my glued together homemade giffing method that I’ve created over months of just random experimentation and bits and pieces from all kinds of tutorials. there are probably better or more correct ways to do a lot of these things! this also isn’t a completely universal tutorial, some of the specifics are geared towards giffing skam, specifically skam france. 

I gif in photoshop cc 2020 on a macbook. Some things like keyboard shortcuts and little things about the photoshop interface will probably vary if you are on a pc/ other version of photoshop! 

this is very long and very unprofessional, but I hope there is something in here that someone will find helpful!

we’ll be going from this:

to this:

up to date as of October 25, 2020

downloading clips

selecting what part you’re going to gif

cropping

my action for resizing, converting to a smart object, and sharpening

coloring

exporting and setting the delay

tldr tips

1. downloading clips

4k video downloader (which you can get for mac or pc here) is great for things posted to youtube, especially from skam france because all the clips are on their youtube with no weird geoblocks or anything! it’s really easy, you just have to open the clip in youtube, copy the link, and go into the program and hit paste link. I like to put on smart mode first and set the destination folder so all my clips go into the place I want. 

There is a 30 video per day download limit, so if you’re thinking you really want to gif lots of stuff from the show, and want a big chunk or a full season it’s definitely worth hunting for a mega or google drive with full episodes to download because it’s just less hassle! I might come back to this post later and compile a list of all of those, but for now if you type “[remake] no subs google drive” or “[remake] no subs mega” into a google search, you’ll probably find something! the all of skam website has no subs for several remakes, but not all!

If you don’t have enough space on your computer to be keeping full seasons, I know there are methods to get screencaps without having to download (generally for giffing movies and regular tv I think this is a common method), but I’ve never done it so I’ll redirect you to this tutorial that explains it! you should probably just go there for the whole thing tbh it’s much more coherent than this, but I digress. 

2. selecting the piece of the video you want to gif

now that you’ve got your episode or clip you’ll want to just open it in photoshop! if you go the screen capping route the way to do that is a bit wonky, so you can keep following the tutorial I linked above and join back in here at coloring if you like!

if the timeline at the bottom doesn’t pop up automatically you can go to window > timeline and turn it on! now you can use the scrubber bar thing to find the moment you want to gif! 

The advantage of this over screen capping is you can scrub with more precision. the arrows circled in blue below let you jump only one frame, where in screen capping I'm pretty sure you can only go by ten second or one minute intervals. 

I usually drag the scrubber as close as I can to the start of the shot/moment I want to use, fiddle with the arrows circled in blue below to jump forward or back one frame at a time until I'm at the first frame I want. I move the left grey handle to the scrubber and then I hit the play button and let the whole shot/moment play. Pause and repeat the shuffling with the arrows until you’ve landed on the last frame you want to use and move the other grey handle. 

the moment you want to use should be between your handles (it’ll look like what I have circled in red), and if you hit play, you should see the thing you want to gif playing on loop above the timeline. the speed will probably be weird, but we’ll deal with that at the end. 

now I recommend doing command or control + s to save your gif as a psd (photoshop document). this is a working, editable file which means if photoshop crashes you can open your file right back up and keep working as long as you’re hitting command or control + s at regular intervals as you work. later we’ll go through exporting in gif format that can actually be uploaded to tumblr.

3. cropping

next I crop out any logos or black space at the top and bottom. Just click on the crop tool on the lefthand side of the screen, drag the edges and hit enter when you’re done. you can of course crop out more than just that, but regardless of what you crop out, now is the time to do it. 

you can set an aspect ratio for your crop at the top of the screen if you’d like to be positive that all the gifs in your set will be the same:

4. my trusty action: resizing, converting to a smart object, and sharpening with one click

Now is when I use an action I made that does all the resizing, converts to a smart object, and sharpens. I’ll take you through the steps so you can conceptually get what’s going on, but I highly recommend using the actions window to record your process as you follow along so you have this action as well. It easily shaves at least 5-10 minutes off of the whole process, and these steps will be the same every time. 

here’s how you make an action: go to window > action and open the action panel. click the plus symbol to start recording a new action:

in the window that pops up, give it a name and hit record:

now just continue with the steps below, and it will save them!

first you flatten frames to clips (I think it says flatten to layers on older versions of photoshop). this is in the menu at the top right corner of your timeline:

next you convert to frame animation by clicking on the symbol in the bottom left, circled in red:

if there is more than one thing in the frame animation, delete the extra one. you don’t need to keep the last one but it won’t let you remove it until there are other frames in there. also go into your layers and delete video group 1 and its contents. don’t ask me why these steps are necessary, I don’t really know, but I’ve noticed it sometimes gets wonky if you don’t do this:

now you want to make frames from layers and delete that first frame that was there before:

then we return to the timeline: 

use command + option + a (control + alt + a for pc I'm pretty sure) to select all layers and then right click within your layers window and select convert to smart object. It’s important to convert to smart object after you go back to the timeline, or the gif won’t move:

next I resize. gifs for tumblr should be 540 pixels wide. for recording your action you should just go into image > image size and only change the width to 540 in case you ever have gifs cropped to different aspect ratios. don’t touch the height, let constrain proportions figure it out!

now, here’s what our base gif looks like, no sharpening, no coloring:

now to sharpen. go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. this is up to personal preference, but my go to settings are:

this is what we have after sharpening:

now is when you can stop recording your action. 

just press the stop button in the action window:

this action is pretty much universal and after I select the moment the gif will be and crop however I want, I use it on every gif I make!  so although this initial setup is tedious, now you’ll never have to do these steps again, and the process is magically much quicker.

5. it’s time to jump into coloring!

I typically start with exposure and sometimes some brightness/contrast. with really dark gifs like this, you kind of have to make it worse before you make it better. I did this:

now the gif looks like this:

we have some static and some ugly bits, and this is where selective color comes in to fix it! boost blacks like this:

and now your gif looks like this:

the skin tone is looking a little sickly and weird, so I go into the yellows and reds in my selective color layer to fix it! I also messed with the greens here because I didn't want color in the background (that part is totally optional and just up to your preference):

now we have this:

to really take the color 100% out of the background, I did one more separate selective color layer for cyan (again, I just felt like it but this is optional!):

and now the finished gif:

there’s lots of fun extra things you can add like text and tints and overlays and all that I won’t get into, but feel free to reach out for help on those types of things! 

this gif was certainly not the most complicated to color. some ridonkulously dark clips (*cough cough* vendredi 20h27 *cough cough*) take tons and tons more effort than this and a lot of the time you’ll want to use color balance layers and vibrance layers and all of that to mess with your coloring. 

with all of this coloring business, I really just learned by doing. I don’t know all the technical purposes of each type of adjustment layer, and I tend to stay away from curves just because I find them confusing and annoying. The bottom line is that you should always experiment and find out whatever coloring works for you and run with it! I’m sure every gif maker you talk to does things at least a little differently! 

I highly recommend taking the time to go through all the types of adjustment layers and just move the sliders around to see what they do! That’s honestly one of the best ways to learn and decide what you like!

6. now to export and adjust the delay!

the keyboard shortcut for exporting on mac is command + option + shift + s, control + alt + shift + s for pc, otherwise you can go to file > export > save for web

my settings are here:

the settings only need to be configured once! otherwise just hit save and follow the pop ups to choose where to save and what name you want to give your gif. Since you saved as a psd way back, that will be the name it’s automatically given, but call it whatever you want!

then I adjust my delay by opening the gif I just exported (not the psd, the .gif file) and using one of my delay actions. I’ve made an action for each delay between 0.05 (real time) and 0.08 (really slow mo for certain super short shots, typically for more ~artsy~ sets). 

all my action does is select all frames:

adjust the delay (which will differ based on whether you want them slowed down and by how much): 

for reference, this is a 0.05 delay:

and this is a 0.08 delay

now you just export the same way you did before! 

remember if you’re recording this as an action, you don’t want to touch the file name, just say yes when it asks if you want to replace the file. if you always save your gifs to the same place, your action will now enable you to override any gif with the incorrect delay with the correct one with one click!

7. tldr: the main tips

for downloading 4k video downloader works well for non geoblocked youtube videos, the all of skam website is another place you can look to download with no subs, here’s the screen capping method if you don’t want to download

The main way I combat dark lighting is to bump exposure to the right, gamma correction to the left, and then enhance black in a selective color layer. The amount of these three adjustments will vary gif to gif. I know lots of people use curves, but I find them really confusing for some reason, so this is my method! As my graphics teacher likes to say: there are always at least 3 different ways to reach the same result!

there’s a little bit of additional coloring on this one, but here’s another before and after example so you can get an idea of how those steps get you a better lit result without making the lighter parts super over exposed:

besides those three steps, you have free rein to use the other selective color channels, as well as color balance, vibrance, hue/saturation, etc. to restore color that was lost or to change the colors altogether! mess around with it and have fun experimenting!

7a. bonus coloring tip: 

sometimes you can make use of selective color to completely alter an isolated color in your gif. You can get very adventurous with this, but here's a simple example of changing blue tones to teal (I got away with these gifs being longer because they were in rows of two in the set I posted them in. I'm too lazy to trim frames so I can put them here at 540 px without going over the 10mb limit so just ignore the quality ok):

7b. actions, actions, actions! 

if you find yourself doing a certain thing over and over, always record it as an action. the amount of time they will save you is honestly really impressive. 

You can duplicate actions, so, for example, if you have different sharpening preferences for different shows or scenes, you can duplicate your gif process action and go into the steps, double click smart sharpen, and alter it however you want! 

This could also be good to do for the different widths for tumblr if you ever do sets with rows of two or three! Duplicate actions is also how I made my actions that set delay at 0.05, 0.06, 0.07, and 0.08!

when in doubt, always make an action! it’s worth minimizing the tedious bits of the process as much as possible so you can focus on the fun part of seeing your awesome gifs come to life! any little task you find yourself doing often, make an action!

and for now that’s all I have. if any of this made no sense, if you want to suggest a correction or addition I could make, if you’re ever curious how I did something on any gifs I post, or if you have any other sort of questions, feel free to send me an ask or a dm! if I can’t answer your questions I’ll be happy to try to direct you to someone who can or a tutorial to help! again, I'm no expert, not even close, but I hope at least one person will find one thing in this mess that helps. 

[kotorirod]

"If Not For Yourself, Do it For Her” - Maruki Takuto x Reader (SPOILERS)

Note: I wanted to share this because OOF! I’m double posting it between here and A03 because HA! I share X3 I might make more of these concerning this girl who I have yet to make a name for, though I like writing it a bit as reader form instead.

If you want more of these, let me know! 

Summary: Maruki was set on the end that he saw coming, but words spoken and a reminder of a promise may be his true salvation.

Akira could feel whatever unlimited he strength he had was disappearing with the crumbling of the prestige Palace and the Metaverse. He could feel the bruises tightening up on his skin from where Dr. Maruki had punched him, and he knew the same could be said for the other's state. Still, he watched in pity when he saw the older man slowly fall on to his back on the glass floor.

He watched the man reach up to the sky, clasping something in his hand before saying, "I'm done... I get it now, all thanks to you."

The Phantom Thief leader was about to say something when he felt the ground rumble beneath them, reminding him that the Palace should be collapsing soon. That's when he saw the glass floor slowly cracking beneath Dr. Maruki. A second later, everything shattered beneath the Palace ruler.

Time slowed down around him as Akira pushed himself to reach out to him. He thought for a second that when he clasped his hand, he would slip away. Thankfully, he just barely caught around the wrist, now stuck grabbing the deadweight that was dangling over the near-endless abyss below.

He did his best to pull him up, desperation filled his eyes as he strained out, "Give... me your other hand."

When the older man looked up at him, he could see the transparent look of defeat in his eyes. The sorrow represented in Palace was accumulating in those orbs as Dr. Maruki scoffed, "Come on... I said I'm done."

Akira was met with a saddened smile on Dr. Maruki's face as the older requested, "Please... let go of my hand."

The younger shook his head side to side as he tried to tighten his grip. He would reach with his other hand, but he had to clasp tightly on edge to not slip over with him. 

"We're going back together!"

Willing whatever strength he had, Akira tried to pull him up, but he could feel him slowly slipping out of his grasp. Taking in what breath he could, he shouted, "Give me your hand!"

"Your eyes are as bright and honest as ever... just like hers."

Akira had nearly faltered and lost his grip when he heard those words. Like who's? Was he referring to Rumi? 

No, Akira knew who Dr. Maruki was talking about. 

As he listened to him, he could feel the fall into despair, waiting for the older man as he shook his head. Hearing the man's fears, Akira shouted, "Then you tell her that yourself!"

At least that got through the man as he saw Dr. Maruki looking up at him in confusion. Taking this chance, he pulled as hard as he could, which was not even an inch.

" You think she would wish for a reality without you? Is that what you thought she would want?" Akira demanded.

He remembered seeing how his older sister had been in the cognitive world. You had told him about a boyfriend you've met, even showing the ring on your finger, but even with those joyful words, he saw the ache in your eyes. 

The man the cognitive world had given you may have been the ideal man, but it wasn't the one you had yearned to be with. For the past year, Akira had listened to you talk about Dr. Maruki from when you met each other in Shibuya. He had been a bumbling fool, looking almost lost like you had been when you first came here.

Akira remembered hearing you speak about how he always seemed to know what to say, encouraging you to be the best you can be, and taking a step back when things were too much. He knew that barely a month had passed that you were deeply in love with the man.

...and the same had been for him. 

Takuto had claimed that there was no one else, but your little brother had seen the way he had looked at you when he thought no one was watching. Akira knew that the feelings had been mutual deep down, but it came to a head on that fateful day on New Year's Eve.

He didn't know if you had been able to confess your feelings to Dr. Maruki. Things had changed to where it hadn't crossed his mind until now.

As the older man looked up at him, Akira continued, "She's waiting for you! She's always been waiting! Are you just going to leave her behind?"

Takuto could see the desperate look in his eyes, seeing how hard he was to try and keep this small lifeline attached. He had admired him for this drive, one that he shared with you.

Your face appeared in the back of his mind as he closed his eyes. He thought back to that day, December 31st.

Dr. Maruki stared at all the notes he had put together on his screen. Everyone he had come across, each student and person he had spoken. Their dreams and desires were written on the computer. He knew that he could change the cognition of even those of the Phantom Thieves, namely that of their perception of Akechi so the researcher knew he could help them.

He took in a deep breath and looked at the clock. It was a few hours before midnight. He had time to at least relax before his plans came to full fruition.

That's when he heard a knock on his apartment door. 

The cognitive pscience researcher approached it with some caution. He remembered how the professor had threatened him, but there was nothing to fear... mostly. Shido had been taken down. Al the secrets that they've been trying to hide were being shown to the country.

He clicked on the intercom as the live feed showed you standing there, bundled up to combat the night's cold weather.

Takuto didn't realize how fast he had opened the door or the look of shock on his face that reciprocated yours for a moment before you laughed nervously. 

"Um... can I come in?" 

Your question was left with no answer for a short while until Takuto finally let you inside. You turned, hiding something behind your back as he saw your cheeks were quite red. Was it from the cold air or something else?

For some reason, Takuto entertained a little thought but quickly pushed it away as he asked, "It's a bit late, you know, Kurusu-san. I thought you would be celebrating the New Year with your brother and his friends."

" I was, but they were getting a bit too loud, and it was getting a little crowded in Leblanc," you admitted before then revealing what you had been hiding behind your back. You were holding up what appeared to be bracelets, the charms resembling as a lock and key. 

You handed him the one with the key while keeping a hold of the other. He was surprised as he stared down at the bracelet as you explained, "I wanted to give this to you on Christmas, but I wasn't able to reach you. And I was planning to just drop it off in the mailbox if you weren't home."

Takuto just continued to look at the bracelet. It seemed so small, but the meaning was clear. He looked back at you, your short stature compared to his made you almost shrink. He could tell you were nervous, worried that what the bracelet held wouldn't be reciprocated.

After a while, he finally pulled you into his arms and embraced you firmly. 

Why did you have to do this now, he wondered to himself. He had already written a plan for you, especially with all the times you had spoken about your ex-boyfriend. He had seen you before walking around with him, and those small smiles you shared were evident to him. 

Yet here you were, showing something else than what he believed.

"Takuto-kun?"

Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, but he still didn't dare to let go. 

Tonight would be the only night he could do this, and only he would remember any of it. 

"Please... let me hold you until midnight..."

He felt you relax in his arms, returning the hug eagerly as you hummed happily and was unaware of the tears falling onto your coat.

You two sat on the couch, sitting in the silent dim room with your hands linked together. Your head rested on his shoulder as you asked, "If you're free in a few weeks, do you wanna go to Osaka with me?"

" What's in Osaka?" Takuto asked, feeling you lean away as you turned to face him. You had your knees seated beneath you on the couch.

Taking out your phone, you showed him that an event was happening in regards to an exhibit you were going to be working at. "I'm supposed to be staying there for a week, so I wondered if you could... I mean, if you aren't busy with work and... well..."

He couldn't help but smile at your growing blush and stammering. Though, he could feel that what he was going to say was a lie. Leaning forward, he paused just a centimeter away from your lips as he told you.

" I'd like to go... if I have the time."

Just then, he could hear his alarm beeping, indicating that it was now midnight.

Opening his eyes, Dr. Maruki found himself dangling again over the edge with Akira desperately holding on to him. A bright light had shown on them, briefly obscuring his vision as the boy was temporarily replaced by an image of you.

"So bright..."

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

You stared down at your phone, seeing that it was almost time for you to depart. 

Akira had suggested that both of you should take the same train home as him, but you had other plans. You were supposed to be heading to an exhibit soon, and Osaka was the opposite direction of your hometown. 

You had given your goodbyes to him and his friends, now trying to get a taxi cab as you headed to the airport. As you waved your hand to wave down one, your eyes briefly looked at the charm bracelet around your wrist.

Takuto had disappeared after that night. All you remember was giving each other farewells and then heading home in the morning. Nothing happened between you two other than cuddling on the couch, which you still blushed at the thought.

Still, with no contact, you felt that you got your answer. A part of you was hurt, but you knew that this may have been the case. Takuto had spoken fondly of his ex-fiancé. You weren’t surprised that he was probably still in love with her.

After a while, you were finally able to wave on down as it slowed to a stop. Getting into the back seat, you relayed, “To the airport, please.”

”You’re carrying so little,” the cab driver spoke in a voice you quickly recognized. “I thought you were staying there for a week.”

You looked up and saw the familiar brown orbs staring back at you. 

“Takuto-kun!?”

He chuckled as he signaled to merge into traffic. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

You weren’t sure how to feel about this. Takuto was acting as if he hadn’t gone missing for over two months, just coming out of the blue as some taxi driver. 

“Wait,” you mumbled first before asking. “Is this your job now?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, glancing at the rearview mirror briefly before looking back at the road ahead. “Guess you could say that being a therapist wasn’t really my calling.”

The conversation went as such, mostly catching up on what you’ve both been doing. You were curious about why the man had changed his profession, especially downgrading to a taxi driver, but you didn’t broach the subject. You didn’t want to say it out loud, but he seemed less occupied in his thoughts while driving.

As they neared the airport, he asked, “So you are heading to that exhibit?”

”Uh, yeah... time sure flew, and I barely had gotten everything ready,” you admitted. You fumbled with your fingers, staring out the window at the complex before blurting out, “You never gave me an answer that night.”

He was silent, just like he was before. No words were exchanged for a while until he finally admitted, “A lot happened and... I’m sorry I never contacted you. I wanted to, especially everything that had happened, but I just...”

”It’s okay,” you told him, still keeping your head turned from facing ahead. 

“But, it isn’t.”

You noticed that the car had pulled over to the side of the road, but you still kept your head facing towards the window. You heard him turn in his seat, facing you as he asked, “Please... talk to me.”

You didn’t want to snap at him. You weren’t some young girl who was spiteful from the silent treatment he had given you. As you turned your head with the best expressionless face you could muster, you felt it falter upon looking at him.

It wasn’t the apologetic look in his eyes that did it. It hadn’t been that he had moved so that kneeling on the middle console of the car.

Your eyes were focused, namely at the bracelet on his wrist, the key charm glistening briefly as he turned his hand to grip the passenger seat better.

”I’m sorry,” he began. “I was too afraid to tell you or even admit it, but I swear that I will work towards this relationship with you.”

You watched him reach out to you, the key charm moving closer to the lock as you didn’t realize that your hand covered your mouth in shock.

The magic in the air suddenly broke when a loud horn echoed around you both. Takuto’s foot had accidentally pressed against it, causing him to fumble and fall into the back seat beside you. 

You stared down at his messy state, unable to hold back your laughter and tears as you reached down to pat his messy hair. He looked up at you through his glasses, smiling brightly that matched your own.

You might be a bit late for your flight, but you can easily book one later tonight.

[lgcmanager]

SIDE EVENT 009.

** a shoutout to @lgcxjinah and @lgcsoyoun for giving us the inspiration for this side event !! **

a reminder on side-events; they are non-mandatory occasional events that your muse can choose to participate in or not.

while missing an event might mean missing out on points, be aware that choosing to take part in it could have positive or negative consequences for your muse. there is also no telling which part of the event will have consequences either since they will be tailored to make it difficult to guess what could impact your muse. while the final consequences are decided at the same time as the event is created, we will only reveal them the sunday after the deadline. so choose wisely: are you willing to make a gamble with your muse?

LEGACY ENTERTAINMENT HALLOWEEN PARTY

** we are aware that HALLOWEEN can be a sensitive time for some. while making your threads and posts, please make sure to properly identify possible triggers at the top of your post. also, please refrain from posting an image that could be considered as a trigger straight on dash! you may link to it or put it under a read more if you desire, once again with all triggers tagged **

on the week of october 19, every trainees and artists of the company are officially invited to LEGACY ENTERTAINMENT’S YEARLY COSTUMED HALLOWEEN PARTY. if there’s a place to be on OCTOBER 31, it’s there! every year, legacy is known to host the biggest marketing event on that one day. brands compete ferociously to be the one that the company chooses! this year, it’s none other than SEOUL ESCAPE ROOM that won the bid.

on the day of the party, they are tasked to provide the decorations of the huge hall that can accommodate up to 300 people. they do not fail to deliver the best halloween day atmosphere. however, the twist is revealed as soon as the guests enter the room; everything is upside down, and therefore, the party is happening on what would be the ceiling of the room. the festivities will begin at 8PM and end at 3AM. servers will be passing through the venue during the entire evening with finger foods and non-alcoholic drinks. a dj will be in charge of the music, while a host will hold different events during the night (examples include a dance contest, noraebang battle, and more) and will crown the person with the best costume! a couple of photobooths are installed for everybody to make memories of this night. to prepare for the event, everybody will be freed from their schedules at 3PM on the 31st.

furthermore, upon entering the hall, every attendee will be given the same clue ‘you’. everywhere in the room, other clues have been hidden all over the place. those who can find them all will be able to create the sentence ‘who are you dressed as?’. once they think they have the answer, guests are invited to go to one of the cameras set everywhere around the room and give their answer. should they fail, they will receive a gush of air straight in the face. should they pass and tell who they are dressed as, they will be asked why did they pick this costume, then given a 50,000 won prepaid card gift to be spent anywhere.

since press and seoul escape room representatives will also be present on the scene, trainees and idols alike are requested to have fun but still keep it professional!

the videos will be released on SEOUL ESCAPE ROOM’s official youtube account starting from NOVEMBER 3.

however, BAE SIWOO and SEO HANEUL of DBSD are ready to strike this year again...

ORIGINAL PRANKSTERS

Source: Naver [ TRENDING ] BAE SIWOO AND SEO HANEUL PRANKING SHOW SEASON 2 CONFIRMED!

last year, the famous duo has begun the tradition of pranking other celebrities in the industry and their fellow labelmates. with the success of last season’s pranks, ‘hanwoo’ are back it.

NEW BUILDING VISIT: after months of announcing that legacy will be moving to a new building, the time has finally come. while the official move will be on november 1st, during the week of the 26th, staff, artists and trainees alike will be taken in group of 2 or 3 to visit the new building. the first to go will be PROJECT ORIGIN MEMBERS on monday. they will be taken on a full tour of the building and won’t notice any anomalies. from tuesday, the rest of the company will be taking the same tour, however, upon reaching the 10th floor (cafeteria level), they enter either a PURPLE, A LIGHT BLUE OR A DARK BLUE ROOM that the guide lock them in. they learn that they can only leave the rooms once they have solved the room!

for the PURPLE ROOM, people first have to find the numbers 2 0 0 8 hidden in a book to unlock a box that will give them their second clue; a candle. matches will be hidden around the room. if they light up the candle, it will quickly burn and reveal the final clue; girl. the three clues taken together hint the girlgroup ‘BLAZING’. to leave the room, they will have to enter the password (BLAZING) on an ipad that will only turn on once they have found out all three clues.

for the LIGHT BLUE ROOM, people first have to find the numbers 2 0 0 9 hidden in a book to unlock a box that will give them their second clue; a paper with three letters ‘X Y Z’. the paper will seem pointless until they finish completing a puzzle of the korean penisula. they will find the three letters next to the words nation (x), little (y), brother (z). all clues taken together hint the boygroup ‘DAEBAK SHIDAE’. to leave the room, they will have to enter the password (DBSD) on an ipad that will only turn on once they have found out all three clues.

for the DARK BLUE ROOM, people first have to find the numbers 2 0 1 0 hidden in a book to unlock a box that will give them their second clue; a small sun shaped light. upon further inspection, if somebody opens it, it will be written inside ‘she can only me seen when i’m asleep’. this hints to the lights needing to be turned off. once they are the final clue will be revealed on the ceiling ‘once i awaken, i complete it’. the three clues taken together hint the boygroup ‘HARU’ (day). to leave the room, they will have to enter the password (HARU) on an ipad that will only turn on once they have found out all three clues.

PAJAMA PERFORMANCE: in the meantime, PROJECT ORIGIN MEMBERS (without jung miso), are by MBC to perform in different locations for a special episode of Show! Music Core just as some seniors have before them. each unit will board a bus on monday late evening on the 26th; LGC GIRLS will head towards GWANGJU and LGC BOYS towards BUSAN. both units will rest at a hotel minutes away from the actual cities. their accommodations are a large room with mats for everybody to sleep together, a small cooking area and a bathroom. these types of rooms are very common on the countryside and not so out of place. however, they are in for a surprise when suddenly, the ceiling ascends and the walls go down, and they find themselves on a stage with 500 fans silently waiting for them. after confettis are thrown, the music begins: DUN DUN for the girls, followed by HIP SONG, and MIROH for the boys, followed by ROUND 2. (watch this video from 7:20 to have a proper idea of the prank). for LGC Boys, Seo Haneul and Bae Siwoo will appear on stage after the two songs to announce the prank, while for LGC Girls Park Haemi and Song Hanui of BLAZing will be the ones doing so. they will also break the news that there’s no Show! Music Core recording lined up.

REQUIREMENTS

NEW BUILDING or PAJAMA PERFORMANCE: Write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with another trainee about the pranks. REWARD: +8 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE, +2 NOTORIETY !

HALLOWEEN PARTY: Write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with another trainee taking place at the party REWARD: +8 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE, +2 NOTORIETY ! ** this requirement can be done twice. **

make sure to tag all your threads with lgc:halloween2k20. you have until DECEMBER 6 to complete the requirements and claim your points.

to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before DECEMBER 6, 11:59PM EST.

TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙ HALLOWEEN 2K20

- HELL WEEK 1: +8 ( skill points distribution ) + 2 notoriety [ LINK ] - HALLOWEEN PARTY : +8 ( skill points distribution ) + 2 notoriety [ LINK ] - HALLOWEEN PARTY : +8 ( skill points distribution ) + 2 notoriety [ LINK ]

[spaceschool]

🎄That’s right! It’s time to start getting ready for Space School’s 7th annual 12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS! 🎄

It’s that time of year again! Time to start getting ready for this year’s Spacemas!

BASIC INFO:

I need to fill about 10 guest comic slots.

Comics should be at least 1 single page. (Max 4 pages)

Comics should be in full color.

Comics need to be X-mas/Winter themed!

I also accept illustrations, but they must have a clear narrative or dialogue!

Tone can be humorous, serious, anything like that. As long as it’s Space School and X-mas/Winter themed all at once.

DEADLINE IS DECEMBER 13TH FOR ALL FINISHED ART!

HOW TO APPLY:

DON’T send me any completed art, instead just send your idea/pitch for what you’d like to do for said comic.

Link or attach example of your art or portfolio!

Send all of this to my e-mail colinxzain@hotmail.com

Label e-mail “Space School Guest Comic Pitch”

And  that’s about it! It’s pretty flexible and this is all in good fun! I  would be honored if some of you applied to make a guest comic this year!(If you applied last year, feel free to apply again this year if you’re feeling up to it. I loved all the artists I worked with last year and would love to work with ya’ll again.)

This full post on Tumblr has more info about Space School and Christmas/Guestmas in general in case you're curious!

Below is more info about Guestmas and Christmas time in Space School:

Space School Christmas Illustrations by year:

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016 (PART 2)

2017

2018

2019

Original 12 Days of Spacemas announcement image

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2014

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2015

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2016

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2017

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2018

12 DAYS OF GUESTMAS 2019

I would love to see some of these past outfits re-created in any comics but new ones or just general winter themed outfits are fine too. Zeggy should most always be Santa though, unless joke calls for otherwise. BUT! Jokes trump everything– if it’s funny, I want it.

SPACE SCHOOL AND THE HOLIDAYS:

Because Winter-time has always been a time of hoilday-stuffs for lots of places and planets (especially those who were colonized by Earth or Nubia) Space School most often gives the whole school lots of time off in December from school-life.

All holidays are accepted to celebrated within the walls as long as everyone is being respectful of each other– as with most things in Space School. The School decorates mostly with lights and tries to stay away from leaning one way or the other. Students are allowed to decorate inside their dorms as they please, obviously.

Most students leave home to their respective planets for the holidays but some students and teachers stay at the school thru the whole month– sometimes celebrating together!

It’s an exciting and peaceful time for everyone~

Alkaline, Zeggy, and Toggy usually go home for the holidays (sometimes together) and Joe stays at the school. Sometimes Joe joins Toggy, Terrago, and Omnivera at their homes.

Dude, Maleena, and Vava either see their separate families alone or all stay together in their home near the school.

Dennis and Booker spend the holiday cooped up alone at Booker’s apartment avoiding everyone but each other.

ZEGGY AND HIS PLANET’S CULTURE:

Zeggy is canonically the most all about Christmas out of the whole group.

X-mas was an adopted holiday by Ollce when Earth colonized the planet and as such, it resembles Christmas as we known it with some key differences.

As far as the tree goes, it starts out as a sculpted pile of dirt resembling a tree or other X-mas object that is watered thru the month with various glowing mushrooms and other fun alien-glowy-bits appearing as it’s watered– so by the time Christmas rolls around the tree will have grown it’s own ornaments to light up the room!

You buy bags of seed/spores each year for the tree, these bags make great gifts and are often put in stockings!!!

Otherwise, a lot of the traditions are the same with either having different looking aesthetics. They do stockings, presents under the tree, and Santa– who instead of having a sleigh– instead rides a single giant mole (which is a creature from purple planet, I can provide reference for) and is of course, purple himself. He rides this mole– who is named Rudolf, around all the underground cities of Ollce delivering presents to all the kids.

Zeggy gets into the holiday spirit way too early and way too fast. He decorates his whole dorm room as well as wearing as much X-mas accessories as he’s allowed over his school uniform.

He’s the type of person to put everything non-Christmas away and replace it with Christmas themed things.

He absolutely spoils Alkaline with tons and tons and way too many gifts– all of which are extremely personalized.

Otherwise, he only buys presents for his parents/grandparents, Joe, Toggy, and gives cards to his teachers. Most of his efforts go towards Alkaline.

He eats a billion food, sings a billion songs, and is fucking obnoxious. It’s beautiful.

ALKALINE AND HIS TRADITIONS:

Alkaline likes Christmas just as much as everyone else and is definitely not as hype as Zeggy because who could match Zeggy’s energy, honestly. But, he definitely gets into the spirits! Enjoys the food, drink, songs, presents– etc.

Christmas on Earth is very similar to what we think of it now which some differences– many of which haven’t totally been decided upon so feel free to have some fun interpretations.

Christmas has most definitely become a non-religious holiday in most all senses on Earth. It’s more just about the aesthetics and being with family members, buying fits, eating food, etc.

Alkaline is either with Zeggy in his home on Ollce or has Zeggy over on Earth. He stays with his Mom and Sister, visiting extended family on Christmas Day for dinner.

Alkaline buys everyone he knows presents– even if it’s just something small!

I usually draw Alkaline as a reindeer because Alkaline with antlers is super cute.

JOE’S ‘CHRISTMAS’:

Christmas isn’t celebrated where Joe is from– they have other traditions. However; Christmas Day is actually Joe’s birthday– which he usually chooses to spend alone or with Dennis or Lorna (his girlfriend)– depending on the age.

As such, Joe doesn’t care too much about Christmas and see���s it more of just as “his birthday” but starts to appreciate the holiday more when Zeggy’s festive spirit invades him. And, he likes the presents.

I’m sure Zeggy and Joe have some special X-mas moments together with Zeggy trying to show Joe all about “The Christmas Spirit”!

TOGGY’S TRADITIONS:

On Nubia, they don’t really have a Christmas but rather a big celebration of a New Year like holiday where they begin the new calendar year.  Like Christmas, it’s a time to celebrate with family and loved ones.  

Typically people travel long distances to spend the two days reunited with family, and everything shuts down.  The most important part of the festivities is to tell stories about the year–letting out stress or frustration while also reliving good moments and bonding with family members.  

This is always accompanied by large amounts of alcoholic beverages, which are enjoyed by all ages.  

Oftentimes everyone gets really smashed the first day and then sleeps it off the next.   Food varies from region to region but typically includes mostly unprocessed foods such as berries and vegetables, or dried lizard or fish jerky. As the festivities mark the beginning of the new year, many Nubians will dye their hair to a different color or get a new piercing around this time. Presents aren’t really a thing on Nubia, though it is common for parents and grandparents to give their children small sums of money to encourage them to have new adventures in the new year.  

Toggy’s family is a bit more accustomed to Earth traditions though, and so he tries to buy his close friends gifts for “Christ-mass” but they are always strange and often food.

DUDE, MALEENA, VAVA:

The 3’s traditions are similar to Alkaline’s since they’re all from Earth– so not much to say there.

Dude spends a lot of time in an apron baking cookies, cakes, etc as presents for everyone he knows and Vava and Maleena definitely gain some weight this time of year.

They all get drunk a lot and laugh a lot and just have a good time together BEING A LIL FAMILY.

Dude always makes sure to exchange presents with students he’s helped thru the year; since he often takes troubled students under his wing.

DENNIS AND BOOKER:

Booker nicely decorates his apartment and spends a lot of time with Dennis on the couch eating food and talking. They frick a lot too.

It’s chill.

OMNIVERA AND TERRAGO:

As the resident “gays into roleplays”, Omnivera and Terrago do a lot of dressing up for X-mas.

There’s a lot of time Terrago will be with Toggy’s family with them– and so I’m sure Omnivera is there sometimes as well. In a billion, expensive outfits.

The two of them absolutely spoil each other and nobody else in presents– except for Toggy who they buy something for– OF COURSE.

NOTE ABOUT REX: Due to some wild stuff happening with the creator of Rex, Rex will no longer be appearing in Space School and therefore should not be appearing in any Guest Comics! Sorry!

AND PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO ADD NEW HEAD-CANONS OR INTERPRETATIONS FOR FUTURE HOLIDAYS!! REALLY, THIS STUFF IS JUST HERE TO GET YOU STARTED SO GO HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thesuitelife547]

“I’m sorry to the fans of B1A4” CNU’s Last Interview Before Enlisting [ARTICLE TRANS]

This is a re-post from something I previously had on my tumblr. This is just the translation of the questions and answers. I don’t have the link to the original article yet with the pictures. I have obtained the original articles! Thanks to Shimybana04 on Twitter!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Thanks!

- Marisa

[t/n: I just combined the 3 parts of the questions. The introduction parts were all basically the same]

Last year, idol group B1A4 went through a big change. Members Jinyoung (28, Jung Jinyoung) and Baro (27, Cha Sunwoo) left WM Entertainment after their contracts expired leaving CNU (28, Shin Dongwoo), Sandeul (27, Lee Junghwan), and Gongchan (26, Gong Chanshik) to be arranged into a 3-membered group.

 Although it was a path chosen in order for them to develop themselves, but when seen from the viewpoint of the fans that have been cheering for them, there are many regrets. The members cannot ignore these types of feelings the fans have. And at their first fanmeeting as a 3-membered B1A4, held last month on the 5th, CNU stated, while crying, “I can’t repay what is owed to the heart even if I try to repay it for the rest of my life.” With a sorrowful heart, he was apologetic for being unable to keep B1A4 as 5 members as the oldest.

 After the fanmeeting, CNU is enlisted in the military last month on the 22nd. He is the first B1A4 member fulfilling his duty and was preparing for the second stage of his life. Before his enlistment, Star News met with CNU for a ‘Let’s Have A Meal’ interview. It would be his last for the fans before the enlistment. We met CNU at in Seoul at a Korean-style full course meal restaurant as he felt grateful and apologetic towards fans as he thought about having to leave for a little.

 How are you feeling right before you enlist in the army?

It feels surreal, a little complicated. There are times when I feel empty, uneasy, and even liberated. Of course I have to go, but as it gets closer, there are various types of overlapping emotions.

 Is it a bit burdensome since you’re going later? [t/n: as in age wise]

Haha. Going late isn’t something to be proud of. As an artist, I have activities and unavoidable situations therefore rather than being burdened, I’m worried about the members. My biggest worry is about leaving the younger ones behind.

 What kinds of things did you talk with the members about?

It’s more like we don’t really talk about the big thing. Haha. Still, they decided that they’d go with me the day that I do enlist.

 When you look at the other celebrities that went to the army, there’s always talk about how they really miss girl groups. CNU-ssi, what girl group do you think you’ll miss the most?

Um…I’ll go with being a fan of Oh My Girl. I should take care of our kids. Haha. They’re popular in military units. Nowadays they’re becoming more popular and they’re also my company juniors. It’d be nice if they could visit, if possible…haha. But since I think that could possibly put pressure on them, I want to tell them that I understand if they can’t come.

How do you spend your time?

I’ve been busy recently and I think I’ll continue to be up until the day before I enlist. It was eventful for us last year, too. I was in a drama and more recently we were preparing for our fanmeeting. There is a fanmeeting in Japan scheduled for February, but I can’t attend because I’ll be in the army. We were preparing for various things. Since there was a little bit of a change to B1A4, we were preparing a lot of things in order to show fans a good image of us. We were seriously planning a lot of things.

 Can you tell us about what you had planned?

There was the fanmeeting. I also thought that it’d be good if B1A4 were able to quickly put out an album. It’s been such a long time since we released an album. I’m really sorry to the fans for undergoing this change. I thought that quickly releasing an album would be a way to ask for a little forgiveness from the fans. I wanted to have an album, fanmeet, and even a concert.

A little while ago you held a fanmeeting as a 3-membered group. I figure that it would feel differently. You even shed a lot of tears…

Rather than it being anyone’s fault that B1A4 is in a situation where we have to continue as a 3-membered group, I think everyone shares responsibility. I think we should live while being apologetic to the fans. The 5 members are the ones directly in B1A4, but B1A4 isn’t just ours. There is the company that made us and also the fans. For someone out there, B1A4 being in their life could be everything to them and there could also be people who feel like we’re the ones who give them energy…I feel like we committed a great sin to those people. It’s not like I want to find out who did what, I’m just very sorry about this situation and I think I cried a lot.

 I think those feelings would be bigger since you’re the eldest.

That’s right. There’s a sense of regret to it, like ‘If I had done a better job, wouldn’t it have been a better situation?’ I feel sorry towards the fans and the members. The fans who had come to the fanmeeting told me a lot of things like, “It’s not your fault, don’t feel sorry,” but I think I’ll have this apologetic heart for the rest of my life. I think I should have it for the rest of my life. Because we made a crack in their memories of us, I think I should pay it back in the future.

Your first activity after your contract renewal with WM Entertainment was a drama. You challenged your first project, SBS drama Miss Ma: Goddess of Revenge. How was it? [t/n: they wrote more like how Miss Ma is his first like drama role. He was in a previous drama, but that was a daily drama and is considered to be in a different category]

Just acting on TV is such a great opportunity for me. It’s a project that I’m very thankful for. The fans have also seemed to have wanted me to be in a drama. I’m really happy that I was able to have an opportunity to try it out. I was able to work with mostly everyone besides the children actors, so I was able to really learn a lot. I think that this project was able to lay the foundation for future growth.

 In the past you’ve done a lot of musical activities before, is there a difference between that and acting?

There’s a difference either way. Some of the continuing habits that I have from musicals sometimes appeared when I was acting for TV. There were times when my seniors gave me advice on some of the technical stuff, like telling me to calm down my tone. And because Sung Jiru-sunbae and I were together a lot, he taught me a lot about the type of attitude that an actor should have and the type of skills while at the filming site. It’s a project where I really learned a lot.

How was your chemistry with your senior actors?

Kim Yoonjin-sunbae really looked upon me favorably. I’m really thankful. Because she hadn’t seen me as actor CNU before, I think she worried about how I would act. After the script reading, we went out for a company dinner and while we were there, she spoke to me first saying, “Your speaking and breathing are good, it’s clear that you’ve prepared a lot for this. I’m very grateful.”

 I was even more touched because such a big senior had said that to me. She also taught me a lot about acting while we were on site. She acknowledged and liked me as a singer and has also monitored and listened to the songs that I have written. It was such a big opportunity for me to be able to share those things with my senior. There could be a prejudice by other actors for being an idol turned actor, but I’ve been acknowledged as an actor and singer. I’m very thankful.

You had a love line with Go Sunghee.

There’s only a one-year age difference between Sunghee-noona and I, but I think dropping the age difference between us made the love line more comfortable. She treated me very well. I’m thankful. It is a love line but it’s a bit of a disappointment that we hadn’t held hands or hugged. Haha. We said that we should do another project together. It was fun acting together because she has such an easy-going personality.

 You and Bae Dohwan, who was also in drama, played a cop. Did you guys have any preparation beforehand?

One of my friends from high school is a real cop. As soon as I was casted I had called that friend and asked him detailed things like, “How do you salute?” or “Can you take off your hat when you’re in the station?” I think I was able to get information rather easily because of my real-life cop friend.

Together with Sandeul and Gongchan, after the contract renewal, I think that you guys would have become stronger together.

I think that it has. I have certainly become more concerned about things that I wasn’t concerned about before and as the eldest, I feel like there are more things I have to take responsibility for. We also see each other and contact each other more.

 I’m curious about your reasons for renewing your contract.

From the very beginning I had no desire to leave. Of course there’d be complaints and misunderstandings since we were in this company for so long; however, no matter how I saw it, they grew us and it was because of this company that I was able to debut, so my feelings about renewing my contract grew. Even though I can’t promise to stay with them for the rest of my life, at least for this time I had wanted to renew my contract and stay together.

 I don’t think the 5 of us thought the same thing. Although it’s something that the company knows now, at the time of our contract renewal, it wasn’t like I didn’t meet with other companies. There were good offers from many good companies, but in the end, I believe that it is with this company that I’m able to securely do the things that make my heart comfortable to my fullest extent. Sandeul and Gongchan also had that kind of mindset.

When you go to the army, who will you think about the most?

The fans is first place. I believe I’ll think about the fans the most. While I should also think about my family, friends, and members, of course, I think I’ll miss the fans the most. Even at our recent fanmeeting, seeing all of the fans gathered together and holding signs to cheer for us I thought, “There’s no greater blessing than this for me.” I don’t think I should ever forget about my gratitude for the fans.

 What are your plans after you get discharged?

I feel like my time spent in the military is the second part of my life, it feels like I’m starting the turning point. Thus far in order for B1A4’s activities to go further, I feel like we have gotten onto the footholds and once I’m discharged from the army, I think we’d be able to fly and run stronger. I’ll also run step by step towards the planned things that I wasn’t able to do before enlisting in the army. I have a lot of debt for the fans’ hearts, so I have to pay it back, even if it’s just a little.

 I want to release an album as soon as I’m discharged. So far there are about 8-9 songs that I have written. Sandeul also has written about 3-4. We have been worried about what direction our music should go in as we continue as a 3-membered B1A4. The songs that I have written while worrying about that is enough to fill a regular album. I think quickly finishing and releasing a B1A4 album after I’m discharged is my goal. I think with the first step being music, I’ll be able to let go of this apologetic feeling that I have towards the fans.

[chilling-seavey]

based on ur post about the songs from the album and when they would have been written in ABM- ABM Daniel writing a song for Flora and she hears it for the first time?

By the time Daniel graduated with his bachelor’s degree in music production; he had an album of ten original songs under his belt. His first year was learning the basics but by the time the novel of ABM began, his classes started assigning projects in writing and producing their own songs. We all know that Daniel is incredibly creative and especially so when it comes to his music and this universe is no different, but he was also incredibly protective about his work. He showed Florence snippets of what he had been working on but never full songs because he didn’t want to admit that all his songs were about her.

His inspiration was directly stemmed from her; for every single one of his projects.

Even when Florence and Daniel started dating, he kept his previous songs locked away on his computer in near embarrassment with how lovesick and emotional they all were. They were pieces of his fragile soul from the past two or three years and he was simply a little nervous of opening that back up again.

By his final week of university, Daniel received a CD that was burned with all of his projects in order on it to hear his progression and his professor congratulated him on being one of the top students he had ever seen or taught. Daniel thanked him, went home, and hid the album in the very back of his sock drawer.

Here is the link to ABM Daniel’s University Album.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

It had been in there barely two months when Florence found it. She was doing laundry and putting the clean folded clothes in the drawers when her hand grazed something at the bottom of Daniel’s sock drawer. Curiosity got the better of her and she pushed the folded socks out of the way to reveal a CD case, the cover staring back up at her with one of Daniel’s first year headshots and the title in white across the black and white image; Firenze. ‘Florence’ in Italian.

She set the laundry basket on the floor and picked up the CD from the bottom of the drawer. She flipped it over and skimmed the track list printed on the back. Ten short titled tracks in a row down the middle. Florence figured she shouldn’t go snooping through her fiancé’s things but it wasn’t a gift since her birthday already passed and they never gave each other Christmas gifts so she carried it back out to the bedroom.

Daniel was watching the girls in the living room while Florence was doing laundry so she had a moment of privacy to close the bedroom door and bring out her laptop. She slid the CD into the disk drive and put in her earbuds to listen to the mysterious album that had been hidden from her for nearly four years. The front cover slid out like a real professional album and she flipped it open as the songs loaded into iTunes.

The first song was titled Just to See You Smile. Written and Produced by Daniel Seavey, 1st year Music Production student, March 2019.

Florence smiled at the gentle piano that led the introduction to the song and then Daniel’s youthful voice that came in next. She couldn’t believe he never showed her this song; probably too nervous since it was his first, but it was sweet and it made her smile.

The second song was titled Hard. Written and Produced by Daniel Seavey, 2nd year Music Production student, Summer 2019.

She followed along to the lyrics in the small cover booklet, her smile faltering a moment at the lyrics come the pre-chorus. It was obvious as to what it was about, especially being written in Summer of 2019 when Matt was still around and it was often that Florence truly ran crying to Daniel when he hurt her.

The third song was titled Falling. Written and Produced by Daniel Seavey, 2nd year Music Production student, September 2019.

Florence’s expression was flat, the words of the song resonating deep in her mind and the emotion behind Daniel’s voice nearly sent chills down her spine as she read along with the lyrics.

That one was followed by Perfect from November 2019, Made For from January 2020, For You from February 2020, What Am I from Summer 2020, all of which just added another weight to Florence’s heart. The angsty heartbroken songs that she was smart enough to know just who they were about, each lyric speaking right to her soul from a part of Daniel’s she hardly knew existed.

She tried not to feel heartbroken herself over the deep lyrics and soft melodies as a vision into Daniel’s own mind through their friendship. She had hurt him so much and never knew. She now sat on their shared bed in their new apartment and fought back her own tears over these songs that he tried to hide from her.

Daniel had finished making lunch for the girls and set them at their small white wooden table to eat, waiting impatiently for Florence to finish putting away the laundry so they could eat together. The minutes passed as he cleaned up the kitchen but there was no sign of her.

“Stay right here, okay?” Daniel said to his two daughters before heading down the hallway to find his fiancé. Their bedroom door was closed which was strange and he opened it and headed inside, only to find Florence sitting on their bed with her laptop open and her headphones on and tears in her eyes.

Daniel was startled by her seemingly sudden emotion but then his gaze landed on the open CD cover and the booklet in her hands and his heart literally stopped.

“Flora.” he breathed as she looked up at him.

She paused What Am I within the last minute and pulled out her earbuds with a shaky inhale, “Why didn’t you show me this?”

“I…” Daniel walked slowly over to her and glanced at her laptop to see what track she was on. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “I didn’t…I…I didn’t want you to be upset. There’s some…heavy and personal shit in these songs.”

“Yeah.” Florence laughed humourlessly, looking back to the simple black booklet in her hands.

“Are you mad at me?” Daniel asked softly.

“Mad at you? You should be mad at me for listening to something you didn’t want me to listen to.” Florence sighed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand before her tears could fall.

“They’re all for you anyway.” Daniel shrugged. “Plus it had your name on the cover.”

“You really meant all of this?” Florence asked, holding up the lyric booklet haphazardly.

“Every single word.” Daniel nodded and shuffled to sit beside her on the bed. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve been in love with you from the first moment we met.”

“I didn’t know…that I hurt you this bad all the time.”

“Not all the time.” Daniel tisked. “The hard stuff just makes for the best songs.”

Florence chuckled lightly and Daniel smiled softly and pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek before leaning his head against hers.

“I wrote What Am I the week before Penelope was born.” Daniel said quietly, staring at the song paused on the laptop screen. “And you were the only thing on my mind the whole time…you and our baby that I didn’t know was ours yet.”

“I heard you singing it to her once.”

“Yeah.” Daniel cracked a small smile at the memory.

They sat in silence together, in their own minds and memories, staring at the paused CD.

“Are you gonna listen to the last three?” Daniel asked.

“Are they gonna make me cry?” Florence mumbled.

“No. Next one was the first song I wrote after we started dating.” he flipped the booklet to Taking You, “And then one from when I knew I wanted to marry you,” he flipped to Big Plans, “And finally, my thesis project. Spent all this last year working on it from recordings to lyrics to instrumentals to production and everything in between.” he flipped to the last page to Love Song finished just that last April. “Got a shining 100%.”

Florence smiled at him and stuck her earbud back in but Daniel got up from the bed again. “Are you not going to listen with me?” she frowned.

“Gotta watch our babies so they don’t destroy the house. Come find me after, okay?”

“Okay.” Florence smiled lightly and welcomed his lingering kiss to her lips. She watched him leave before turning back to her laptop and pressed ‘play’.

The upbeat guitar of Taking You instantly made her smile and the sweet lyrics had it sticking; thinking back to the first few weeks of their romantic relationship and how fresh and new everything was. And Big Plans definitely made her cry – especially because it was made in April and he said it was when he knew he wanted to marry her, so far in advance to when he actually proposed. And Love Song. Her favourite on the whole track list, an upbeat and catch incredible song that sounded like it could be professionally made by a famous band. But it was just her Daniel and his deepest, sweetest, honest feelings for her and it only made her more excited to spend the rest of their lives together.

When the album concluded, she took it out of her laptop and put the CD safely away in its case and on Daniel’s desk across the room before heading back down the hallway. She lingered in the doorway a moment to watch Daniel set two plastic cups of apple juice down for the girls and they thanked him sweetly. He stood back up and caught glimpse of Florence in the hallway and they shared small smiles. She headed over to him and he swallowed her up into a warm embrace and peppered a few kisses to her cheek and down her neck.

“I love you so much.” Florence whispered.

“I love you more.” Daniel smiled against her neck.

“Our whole love story on one CD, huh?” she said.

Daniel pulled back from her to look at her face and their noses brushed lightly. He kissed hers before resting their foreheads together, “It is.”

“I’m proud of you. It was all truly beautiful. Can’t believe you didn’t share all that with me before.”

“I’ve shown you bits and pieces.” Daniel shrugged, his eyes falling closed as they stood together in their kitchen, arms wrapped around each other and just breathing together. “But I was too shy.”

“I know.” Florence giggled, giving his hips a small squeeze. She pulled back to look him in the eye. “But now I expect to hear all your beautiful art.”

“Okay.” Daniel leaned in to kiss her lips and they smiled into it before he pulled back just long enough to whisper, “I’ll put it in my vows.”

[tipsydipsydo]

Just let me love him! 

Request: "hey! may i request an imagine where namjoon has a boyfriend (male transgender) and they decide to make their relationship public but maybe not all the fans being supportive / respectful of it? and namjoon rlly pissed off by the comments online and making posts to half educate them & half being shady haha thank u :("

Requested by: anonymous

Pairing: Namjoon x transgender Reader

Gender of the Reader: male

Word Count: 3k

Genre: Angst, Hurt and Comfort, Fluff

Warnings: mentions of Homophobia and Transphobia; mentions of hate towards the LGBTQ+ Community

A/N: Well... what should I say? I think I'll write every request individually without specify how long my writings would be. It really depends on my own idea for that request. This here took some time because I had to make some research and thought a lot about, how I want to write it.

That's also the reason why it ends up to be so long, because it was important for me to write that really long statement that Namjoons makes in here in the full version.

[Links]:

My Masterlist for your requests!

My official Blog Navigation!

I hope you all will like it! 💕

(Even when I researched things, when there is something that doesn't fit so well into the fic, please inform me 🤗)

「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

He should have guessed it. He should have noticed it, before the vlog would be uploaded. No, he should have known it! He should have known that it'll happen when this information gets to the public.

And at the same time he should have known that there are also some black sheeps among the ARMYs.

Although the large majority is very open, liberal and supportive, there are still some people who call themselves an "Army" and "support" them, but they're also very open when they don't like something.

It could be their new outfit, their new haircut or, like now, their lifestyle and their relationships. When something deviates from their idealized image, which means that his members and he no longer correspond to the overly perfect image of that Army, they start hating.

There aren't many, but they still exist. Sadly.

And all of that just starts because of a scene and the one sentence he had said to explain it.

Yesterday he uploaded a self-made vlog on the occasion of his birthday, in which he simply wanted to take the Armys through his day and show them, how he's spending his birthday this year. Nothing "bad", right?

You two made your relationship public three months ago. Of course, after this public announcement, the excitement was big and pretty much every korean and even some international boulevard magazines as well reported about it. Who could ever have guessed that there will be a young man at the side of the world known K-Pop Idol Kim Namjoon instead of a woman??

The biggest gossip subsided after a week and since two months pretty much everything turned out to be quite normal again. Namjoon and you get a lot of encouragement and support for your relationship from the vast majority of fans, you already have an official shipping name (and Namjoon has to admit that it sounds really cute!) Beside that, fanarts of you two have been already created, based on the few couple pictures that Namjoon recently posted in their Twitter account.

However, Namjoon "only" introduced you as his boyfriend. He hadn't told the whole publicity that you were transgender and "actually biologically a woman". Why should he?

You identify yourself as a boy, just you weren't born as such, which is why you want to adapt your gender to your actual identity. It's not more than that and all that just means that you are his boyfriend, nothing else.

Joon just introduced you as his partner and not that you are female to male transgender because that has actually nothing to do with your relationship.

And then there was the thing with his birthday vlog. He had thought that this little thing wouldn't attract attention, probably because it had become so normal for him.

You brunched together in a restaurant on the day of his birthday, enjoyed the good food together and laughed a lot. Really nothing so unusual when you go out to with your partner.

This was followed by the fateful scene that has caused all of these comments now.

You two were so deep in your conversation that you completely forgot to pay attention to the time. However, you still had a doctor's appointment that day, which is why you rushed out of the restaurant in a hurry.

You just noticed it a bit too late that you'll have a doctor's appointment for your next testosterone injection on Namjoon's birthday. But you could't and didn't even want to re-arrange a new appointement because you need the renewal in a relativly regular interval.

So the vlog only showed a few seconds where you two sprint stressed but also laughing to a taxi, so that you'd somehow still belong halfway to your actual time of the appointment in the doctor's office.

When you get your injection, Joonie waits for you in the empty waiting room and explain shortly in the vlog, why this appointment is so important.

"Unfortunately, my sweetheart was born in the wrong body and to be able that he can live with his correct gender identity, he has to go to the doctor to get his dosis of testosterone."

And that was it actually. After that you went back to your shared apartement, where the boys surprised Namjoon with a little birthday party. Congratulated their leader for getting older and then unpack all the presents together. With it, the vlog was uploaded. Namjoon and the boys had given no further thought to this "new piece of information" that turned out be the reason for these controversial comments under his vlog. Simply because it's already become normal for everyone. You are a transgender, but you're just Namjoon's Boyfriend for everyone. Nothing more.

Nevertheless, some "fans" don't see it that way, they even starts questioning if it's correct to call you Namjoon's "boyfriend" because you just can't be a "real boy". After this comment all the other ones only got even more worse.

Namjoon got the opportunity to read the comments when he already was on his way to the studio. He had wondered this morning why you were so silent and inwardly at breakfast. He had ask you gently if something happed or if you're not feeling well. But you just shook your head and said that you slept badly. Namjoon doesn't ask further because he was sure, that you woulf know that you can always be completely honest with him. And Namjoon doesn't want to blame you, that you would be lying to him, so he just gives you a loving smile.

How wrong he was when he read through all these awful comments under the vlog.

The other members have seen these comments too, they're so damn furious, with what kind of words you're called in there and that some of the them wished that Namjoon would please break up with you.

They should've trained the new choreography today, but this incident is now much more important and the way how they want to deal with it. They came to the decision to make a clear statement.

Actually it's planned that Jimin make a vlive today, but they decide that Namjoon should make it instead due to the situation.

He himself is not so sure yet whether he should really do it today, the anger about these disrespectful comments is still too big and he cannot promise not to say rude things to the fans himself as well. He wants to give them a better role model than to hate each other. However, he's becoming more and more aware of the importance of publishing his vlive today.

Because you're his boyfriend and through your relationship, you get so much more attention, which unfortunately also increases the possibility of harrassing you, for what you are, a lot more. He brought you into this situation, so Namjoon also feels obliged to stand up for you and show you that he's absolutely not going to accept something like that!

In addition, it's so important to him and all the other members to show that they will accept hate and harrassing of LGBTQ+ people in no way.

It breaks Namjoon's heart when he comes home and sees your red, swollen eyes, testifying that you cried. He had tried countless times to contact you throughout the day, but you neither answered his calls nor his text messages.

The last time when you were online in the messenger was tonight. Probably when you read all these terrible comments.

"Hey baby...", Namjoon whispers softly as he comes up to you and closes his arms around your body, pressing you tightly, almost protectively against his chest.

"I know what happened. I read everything."

With these words your body begins to tremble in his arms, you press your face into the crook of his neck and a little sob comes from your lips.

Namjoon holds you, strokes his fingers gently through your hair and whispers sweet nothings into your ear to calm you down.

You take a trembling breath in and say in a broken voice: "I am so sorry that I am causing you and the others such problems..."

When these words comes over your lips, Namjoon takes your tear-streaked face in his hands and gently kisses your tears away.

"No, no, no, my love! Don't say things like that, they're absolutely not true! You are not the problem, definitely not! The problem are these people out there who just don't want to accept that not all people can’t identify with the gender they’ve been born with. Maybe because it’s just so normal and natural for them to be a girl or boy. Apparently these people cannot put themselves in your shoes, what it's like to feel like a boy or girl but stuck in the body of the opposite sex. Apparently they don't even tried to imagine what it would be like if they weren't born a what they are. How it would be to be born in a different body with their previous gender identification. You are not the problem. The problem are the people who cannot listen to you, at least to understand how debiliating this situation is for you. So instead of Jimin, I'm going to do the vlive today and I'll talk with Armys about it. I will tell them that I will not tolerate Transphobia and any other Phobias of the LGBTQ+ community at all."

Your swollen eyes snaps open and you look at Namjoon in disbelief. As you want to open your lips to ask him, if he's really sure about that because he could get even more hate for that, he already knows what you're about to say.

Before these words can leave your lips, he quickly presses his owns on yours and gives you a gentle kiss full of love.

"I want to do that, my love. I want to do this for you, for us, for our LGBTQ+ ARMYs and for all these other peoples. It's important for me to make this statement."

When you nod slowly, Namjoon released the embrace and gave you a last kiss on the lips.

Then he goes into the living room to the dining table, where his laptop is and logs in.

You go quietly to the couch and wrap yourself up in your favorite blanket. To be honest, you don't really know what to expect. Before Namjoon starts his vlive, he looks at you and forms a silent "I love you" with his lips.

"Hey guys. I know Jimin should be sitting right here infront of the screen and doing his vlive with you. However, something happened tonight that I want to talk with you about it. I think you already know, we uploaded my Birthday vlog yesterday and there are comments written which are absolutely terrible and I'm not going to accept that under any circumstances.", Namjoon starts the vlive.

Today there is no trace of his usual playful and childish behavior, which he shows so often in his vlives. He's absolutely serious.

"Some of you are asking why you just got the information now, that Y/N is transgender and why we didn't tell you right away with our relationship announcement. I decided against it for the simple reason that it doesn't matter in our relationship. Y/N doesn't identify with his biological gender, although his body may be female, he is actually a boy who unfortunately was born in the wrong body. He is a boy and therefore he is my boyfriend."

"I introduced him to you as my boyfriend, because it doesn't matter who he was before, what gender he has from birth. It should only be about who he is now, who can he be now, that he's able to be finally that person who he want to be. We should finally give these people, like Y/N, the opportunity to live in the gender identity they are, without always saying 'But you are in reality woman, right?'."

"No, not really, in reality is Y/N a man. Can we please finally give them the opportunity to live in the gender with which they identify themselves. So when they should identify with the specific genders like male and female. And if that's not the case, if you assign yourself as nonbinary, it's perfectly okay! After all, there is still so much space between these two genders! We should give all of them the opportunity to simply live the way they are."

"That's why I think, that we all should be very happy, that we can identify ourself with our biological gender! Therefore, we should help all the other people to find their right gender when their biological gender doesn't suit them! And that they're able to show themself in public."

Namjoon takes a deep breath after this long monologue and grabs to his water glass to drink a bit. While doing this, he read all the new comments that pops up. They are very different, some are positive and supportive and then there are these other comments, literally saying how he can talk such a shit. 'There are only two genders, nothing between them and everyone has to be able to identify with their own gender!'

It is precisely in this conflict that he realizes again that ignorance and the lack of will to understand each other are two of the major problems.

"As I read your comments, one thing caught my eye very clearly. We're talking too much about each other than with each other."

"I know, as a person who can identify themself fairly well with their biological gender, it's pretty hard to imagine what it would be like if it weren't. And because of that, we have to talk about it. I know that all transgender or generally all LGBTQ+ people are tired of having to explain their gender identity or their sexuality all over again and again. Having to explain, why they are the way they are now."

"But I think that it'll be the only way to remove these stereotypes and prejudices, as well as fear of 'this unknown thing' and thus all these unjustifiably phobias and racism. Just because a person cannot identify with their biological gender doesn't mean that you have to change yours too! It means, that you should simply accept and respect it! However, we should give all these people the chance to finally develop in such a way that they can really be themselves. Regardless of whether they are assign themself as male, female or no specific gender."

"There are still so many questions in the room that result from pure lack of knowledge. And that's normal, of course, we can't know everything, but we can learn something new every day. Ask each other questions, so that you have the opportunity to be able to imagine yourself into the position of an other person. So at least try to understand how the other person must feel. It's a long way but we should try to finally remove this hate that is caused by ignorance and misunderstandings."

"There are always two peoples involved in a conversation. That's why I appeal to the LGBTQ+ community to be still patient with us, even if you're already so sick of it. You must have the feeling of literally speaking against a wall... And all people who identify with their biological gender and are heterosexual, so you practically correspond to the 'ideal image' of society with it, should listen to the LGBTQ+ Community and ask questions, so that these prejudices and this hate can finally be stopped and we all are able to live peacefully together. I know, this idea is utopian, but we can still try to get as close as possible to this utopia of a peaceful coexistence of all peoples."

Namjoon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment before dropping the statement.

"And who, after my monologue, still refuses to simply ask the peoples questions when they don't understand something and still prefer to think about them in prejudices, please unfollow BTS and BigHit Entertainment."

Your eyes are round like plates and your mouth opens, want to say something, but no words comes over your lips.

In the corner of his eye, Namjoon sees how the comment section with messages literally explodes.

"I am not saying this out of pure selfishness just because I am angry and hurt. I am saying this because all members agree with this statement. We decided for this statement together."

"Of course we know, that you're still able to see all of our things, we cannot forbid you from listening to our music. But we all wanted to talk about this topic once. BTS and the Army community should be a safe space for all Armys, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. We wanted to make sure that all Armys in our large community are welcome and that they'll be respected in the way they are."

"The members and me just need to know that we all can be honest with you and don't have to hide anything. That we can be sure you’re supporting us really. We just want that all peoples that follow us, are trying their best to understand each other. Of course, we all will never agree at the same point of view and that's a good thing! But we should respect each other's gender identity, sexual orientation and opinion. Because in the end we all are just humans. No more, no less."

"I would like to come to an end of this vlive for today. And for all haters out there, I'm not going to break up with Y/N. Please just respect that I love him. Exactly the way he is!"

With these words, Namjoon goes offline and closes the laptop, smiling at you softly when he comes to you on the couch.

"I love you. Please don't forget that," he whispers in your ear as he slips under the blanket and snuggles up to you.

Like I wrote it in Namjoons statement, I try my best to imagine myself into your position even when I never made these experiences (and probably never will) you had to make. That's why I'm always open to talk and listen to you, to learn new things about it!

And even when I'll never be able to understand you "really", then I'll make sure that you know that I still care for you guys, okay?

Love you 💜

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat (13/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Chapter Summary:  A  confrontation.    

Word Count: 4,4k

Warnings for this chapter: angst, pregnancy stuff, something like panic attack, medical procedures poorly written despite the author doing  some research.  

 A/N: @lesqui helped me with this one!! Thanks for pushing  me further, babe. Ily. Links are ruining posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description. I can’t  wait to see what you guys think of  this  one,  I’m   kinda   of scared,  tbh. 

She loves it… The silky touch of his shirt caressing her skin…His smell sweetly mingling with hers. She feels delightfully safe, like it’s actually his arms holding her close, his skin  on hers... She loves it and lets her lips curl in a smile as she lazily combs her hair.  Sitting on the edge of his bed, Anna hears the shower running in the bathroom.

He invited her to stay once again.

The small curl of her lips drops when she reminds herself that he only does that when he feels insecure…about you. She knows you still have that effect on him. She knows that, despite trying to hide it, Bucky is still in love with you.

And she accepts it. To be fair, she has no choice. The love she feels for him is bigger than anything. Bigger than pride, than the judgment of her colleagues for dating an ex-patient,  bigger than her career, bigger than herself…She knows she’s  in a messy situation, but  it doesn’t matter. She finally gets the chance to live the love she’s been harboring all this time and nothing can beat it.

That ice cold feeling resurges in the pit of her stomach… Fear…

She sighs and gets up, walking around the bed to leave the brush on the nightstand before propping herself on the mattress once again, leaning her back on the headboard and covering her legs with the sheets.  

She didn’t mean to eavesdrop. After seeing the way you looked at her and Bucky together she felt like she needed to talk to you. Have a definite and honest conversation to at least stand her ground. That’s why she went after you. But when she got to the bathroom’s door she heard Nat talking about a baby in your belly and she froze.

You’re pregnant.

She takes in a cold, shuddering breath. Does Bucky know? No… She’s sure he would’ve told her something like that by now. He tells her everything… like he told her how he still felt about you and about the encounter you two had on the roof. When was it? Two, three months ago? Fuck… She lets her head fall back to the headboard.

What is she going to do now? What does a baby mean to her relationship with Bucky?  If he doesn’t know, she should tell him, right? Is that the right thing to do? And if it is, right for whom?  If just seeing you makes him falter, she can’t even imagine what knowing about your pregnancy right now would do to him.

She could lose him… that’s what she’s terrified of. That’s the thought she can’t stand. Not now, when she got a taste of  how loving him - really loving him- feels. That’s why her throat and chest are tight enough to make her breaths come out short.  That’s why she brings a finger to her mouth and starts chewing on her nail. A habit she’s used to help patients with…

If you didn’t tell him, should she? There’s a chance the baby isn’t his, isn’t there? That guy at the party…Harry… maybe… What if it’s not even Bucky’s and she only creates a problem? And what if it’s his…

The consuming doubts cloud her senses and only when the mattress moves does she notice Bucky is finally out of the shower. While he pulls up the sheets and places himself on the bed, he smiles at her, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Her heart shatters and she knows the reason for his long shower… Seeing you tonight… It wasn’t easy for him.

“Ready to sleep?” He asks, resting his back on the headboard like her.

“Sure. Thanks for inviting me to stay.”

He tightens his lips before leaning over and placing a small kiss on her forehead. Her eyes flutter shut at the touch.

She cups his cheeks when he moves away, “Are you feeling better now?” Her thumbs draw patterns over his soft beard as he frowns at her, “I know tonight wasn’t easy for you,” she clarifies softly.

His eyebrows rise while his lips part and close a couple of times before he sighs, and his gaze cast down, “I’m sorry,” He whispers.   

Her heart sinks, no bearing the sight of his sad, ashamed eyes in front of her. God, the things she could do to never see him like that again... “Don’t be.” She shakes her head when he looks up at her again, “You know I got into this knowing exactly how you feel, Bucky. You don’t have to be sorry for your feelings… not with me.”

The corners of his mouth are curled down when, with his finger, he places a lock of her hair behind her ear, “I wish it was different.” He mutters, turning his face to place a kiss on her palm, before taking her hands into his, holding them between the both of them.

“I know…” She nods. “But you told me you didn’t want to love her anymore. Not after you realized that you two weren’t good for each other.” While she keeps his eyes on him, his gaze is  fastened on their joined hands, “Do you still feel that way?”

She watches his bare chest rising as he breaths in a long intake of air. The silence that comes after twists her stomach.

“I- I, I don’t know.” He stutters.

A sharp pain cuts through Anna’s chest and she holds her breath.  

Bucky finally lets his gaze meet hers, “I mean, I know that Y/N and I… we don’t do any good to each other.” He licks his lips and gulps before continuing, “But I’m not sure if I- if  I’ll ever get this love out of me…” He lets his head drop and shakes it in frustration before looking up at her and letting go of her hands to cup her cheeks, “And I’m scared I’m going to hurt you on the way. That’s the last thing I wanna see happening.”

Anna swiftly leans forward  and  wraps him in a tight hug, “I love you so, so much, Bucky.” He’s slipping through her fingers and she can terror making her heart race. She can’t let that happen, she would die if it did, “Remember when I said there was no deal breaker for me? I meant it. I can make you happy, I know I can…I-I know you like me, too.” She pants.

“I do. I do.” He soothes her, resting his chin on her shoulder, softly brushing his hand over her back, “You mean so much to me, you have no idea.  That’s why the possibility of hurting you is terrifying to me.”

“Let’s go on a trip.”  She blurts out as she moves away, keeping her arms around his neck, though.

“What?” His forehead creases.

“Yeah, of course.” She smiles, “I still have remaining stocks of leave not taken. You’re still away from work… We can get out of here. Go anywhere we want. Focus on us and leave everything else behind.”

Bucky ponders for a minute, letting his eyebrows furrow, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Yes, I am, it will be good for us to just get away.” Anna eagerly answers. That’s exactly what they need. More time. More space. Their relationship needs to be stronger, he needs to be more certain of his feelings for her, before…before…

“Ok.” He nods, smiling at her, “I think you’re right.”

She lets out a breathy, relieved laugh and grabs him a tight hold again. They’re together and will remain together. That’s all that matters.

Everything and everyone else can wait.

~~~

Glancing at your phone you realize if you’re don’t hurry up you’ll be late to the group session. You rush to your closet and grab the first t-shirt you see, but before you put it on, your image reflected on the full body mirror catches your eye.

Your breasts. They’re noticeably bigger and you hiss in pain when you put a tentative hand on them.  You turn to the side as you roam down your body and stop at your belly. You smile. It’s not exactly remarkably bigger, but you can see the small changes that getting into the 14th week brings to your abdomen. It’s rounder and a little bit higher, and you can feel your old jeans pressing against your skin.  Your  little bean is growing…It may be time to call Wanda and Nat to pay a visit to those maternity boutiques.

Sighing, you put on your t-shirt. The time passing and the inevitable changes in your body mean that you won’t be able to keep the secret for long. Getting into the bathroom to brush your teeth and pee for the millionth time that day you remember almost telling Bucky at Steve’s party a week ago. What would’ve been his reaction? Well, you guess you’ll find out soon enough. You ponder maybe it’s for the best if it meant Steve would get off your tail. The man suspects something and hasn’t been subtle about it at all. Asking questions, showing up in your room unannounced, insisting on knowing more about Harry...  

You can’t help but smile at the thought of Harry.  While you and Bucky went back to radio silence, you’ve been talking to Harry daily. Having someone with shared experiences outside the group to talk about what you’re going through has been everything you need. You were nothing but delighted when he said you two should grab a hot-dog from the trailer by the group after today’s session. You’ve been enamored with  that trailer since day one but haven’t had the opportunity to try it yet.

With your mouth watering, you hang your bag on your shoulder and grab your car keys before rushing to the door. You’re pacing towards the elevator when pass by the common area. A call of your name makes you stop on your tracks. Through the large, opened glass door you see her.

Anna.

Your lips part slightly at the sight as every muscle in your body tightens up. She’s standing in the middle of the room where you first met her, when you watched Bucky swang her in a hug. You suppress the invasive memory with a sharp breath. She’s dressed much like you, in jeans and a loose t-shirt, sneakers on her feet, her full long hair styled in a messy high bun. She looks casual, simple, very different from the last time you’ve seen her. For a moment, you just stay where you are, fixing a narrowed gaze on her. You’re sure you heard her calling your name but you just can’t pinpoint why she would be there.

“Y/n?” She says again, taking a step forward and folding an arm in front of her to grab on her bicep. “Hi.”

“Hey, ahm… are you waiting for someone?” You tilt your head questioningly, walking through the opened door.

“Actually,” She clears her throat, “I wanted to talk to you…if that’s ok.”  She points at the keys in your hand. “You seem to be on your way out?”

Oh… That’s the last thing you expected to hear. You think about turning her down, telling her you’re in a hurry, which would not be a lie, but something inside you longs to know what she could possibly have to say to you.

“That’s ok,” you say, “I still got some time.”  

She seems pleased at your answer and points to the couches questioningly. You nod and take a seat on the closest chair to you, holding the car keys tightly over your lap. She positions herself on the couch in front of you.

You feel the air tense, but wait for her to speak first.

“I meant to talk to you at Steve’s party, but the opportunity never came. I think this is long overdue, to be honest.” She speaks calmly and steadily before looking at you, probably waiting for you to say something. When you don’t, she continues, “You know… when I met Bucky, I was his therapist.”

“I know that.” You quickly say, trying to not sound harsh. You’re not sure how to feel about this conversation, or even how to feel about Anna beyond the jealousy that stubbornly insists on taking over your chest every time you see her. But, to be fair,  this is entirely on you, not on her. You never really had the chance to get to know her and you’re really not convinced if this is something you’re strong enough to handle.

She gives you a small smile, “You probably also know there’s something about him… something that makes it hard not to fall in love with and I was no exception. Therapist or not.”

You feel her eyes still lingering on you when you turn yours away.

“I think it was even harder for me to fight that feeling, because I got to really, really see him, all the vulnerability under that apparently strong and unbreakable man.” She keeps her calm tone, “You have no idea how he got…when you left.”

At the throbbing pain in your heart, you look back at her. The twitching bone on her jaw betrays the neutrality of the rest of her face. You don’t get why she would come there to tell you this. Maybe the fact you and Bucky had seen each other at the party? Is she insecure about it? You can see the vulnerability in her words, her posture… You recognize it and you can’t help the ounce of empathy to surface in you among all the painful feelings flooding your entire self. You share a love for the same man, after all.

“In all my work years, I’ve met all kinds of broken people, but I’ve never seen such sheer, raw agony in someone… over a lost love.” She pauses, biting her lips.

You have no words to say. Nothing that could express the good old guilt you’ve been feeling every day since the day you left. You really don’t wanna cry in front of her, leaving you with no choice but to hold back the swelling lump in your throat.

“You only got to see the best part of the love you’ve lived together. You didn’t stay to see him shatter.” She breathes and shakes her head, looking down minutely, “I know you love him, I know you want what’s best for him… if you had seen it, maybe you wouldn’t have come back.” Her tone grows a bit harsher than before.

Your eyes widen briefly as she stares at you. A slap on your face wouldn’t hurt as much. Clenching your teeth, you hold back what you’re certain that would be a floor of tears.That’s enough.  “Listen, I already know all of this…” you force yourself to speak, still calmly, betraying the turmoil inside your,  “And Bucky already asked me to stay away, which I’ve been doing. Us meeting at the party was an accident. I don’t see why you would come here to tell me all of this, but I really need to go.”

You get up, moving to walk away, turning your back to her.

“I know you’re pregnant.”

As an act of pure instinct your hand covers your belly as you freeze in place.

“How?” You tilt your head, not being able to really see her from your position.

“I heard you and Nat talking in the bathroom.”

You turn fully around. As you exchange gazes, you spot the same look you saw at the party, right before she left with Bucky. Fear… You sit back on the chair, placing your arms firmly on the armrests. “Did you tell him?” You ask, tentatively, afraid of the answer.

She swiftly shakes her head and you’re not sure how you feel about the information.  “Why did you come here?” You ask, in a low, genuinely curious tone rather than accusing.

“He’s still… fragile when it comes to his feelings for you.” She says, taking her time before choosing the word fragile.

“The fact I’m pregnant doesn’t mean anything… It won’t change our relationship. Not romantically, at least.” You say, letting determination sweep into your words.

“Like I said, he still falters when it comes to you…” Her voice shakes, “If he finds out about the baby now, he won’t be able to free himself from the feelings he has for you like he wants. I know I can make him happy and I’ll always be by his side unless he kicks me.” Insecurity seeps from her words, her pores. “But he and I need time… to solidify what we’re building together. That’s what he wants, you know that.”

“But....” Your eyebrows draw closer, trying to steady your own voice, “He has to know at some point.”

“You didn’t tell him yet, either… why?” She tilts her head.

“That’s really my business.” You draw your bottom lip between your teeth, shifting on the chair.

“Deep down, you know the two of you are bad for each other. Don’t you?”

You let her words roam into your mind and tears finally prick your eyes as the tight control you’ve been keeping so far weakens. You don’t really allow yourself to answer the question. Not to her. Not to you.

“I came here to beg you, Y/N,” the shaky desperation on her voice catches your attention, “Let him set himself free from the strings that keep him tied up to you. Let me take care of him and mend his pieces back together, I know I can do that.”

The way she speaks makes you not sure if she’s saying this more to convince you or her. But it hurts. Deeply. You swallow thickly as you watch her taking in a deep breath.

“We’re going on a trip.” She stands up, clutching on the stripe of her beg, “Overseas. A month or so. We’re meeting at the airport. I told him I had some work related thing to do before boarding.”

She walks closer to you as you look up to meet her eyes clouded with sadness and desperation, “What I’m here to ask you is to give him this time. Allow him to give himself fully to me and be happy, Y/N. Really happy. He, above anyone else, deserves that.”

Instead of giving her an answer, you look to the side, feeling the tight tension in your jaw oozing to your shoulders.

She sighs and walks past you, “I know you’re not a bad person,” Her voice comes from behind you as she stops at the door, “And I know you love him…” She pauses for a second, before whispering, “But he was fine before your return…”

A painful breath fills your lungs before you turn to see her back walking away. You know what she really means. If you truly loved him, you wouldn’t have come back. If you truly love him, you would vanish from his life again.

Is that what you should do? But what about… what about your baby? The abundance of tears cloud your vision as you try hard to fill up your lungs.

You need to get out of there. You need to breathe.

You swiftly get up and when you’re aware of yourself again, you’re already inside of your car, driving out of the garage and allowing the sobs to come out of your throat. Hot tears spilling down your cheeks.

So much damage. You’ve caused him so much damage The enormous guilt and regret you’ve been feeling all this time hits you like a freight car once again. It all comes back to your mind as your hands shake on the wheel, driving yourself to you have no idea where. It really doesn’t matter. It comes back to you: the panic you felt when you saw the ring, the words you told him when he flew to London to get you back, the calls for your name during nightmares, the night on the rooftop, he telling he didn’t want your love anymore…

Your baby… your innocent baby who doesn’t deserve to have a mother like you, who never really learned how to deal with love in a way that wouldn’t destroy the person you love…

It’s all a blur around when your body jerks violently. The high pitched sound of wheels braking mixed with the thudding sound of metal against metal reaches your senses.

A sharp pain in your forehead and everything is darkness.

~~~

“Did you manage to handle everything you needed?” Bucky asks, moving on his seat and wrapping his arm around Anna’s shoulder.

“Hopefully I did,” She simply nods before nestling her head on his shoulder, “I can’t believe the flight is late. I’m so excited for this trip.”

“Yeah…” Bucky looks up to the screens showing the warning of one hour delay for their flight.

A goddamn tour through the Caribbean. The Winter Soldier goes to the beach. Sounds like a terrible name for a terrible tv show. Only Anna to convince him to go and spend a month in a place like that. What is he supposed to do all this time? Sunbathe? Eat shrimps all day?

But she’s right. This time away would be good for them. All it took was one night seeing you to all his resolve start to crumble. You’re so addicting…  All he wanted was to touch you, really touch you, hold you in his arms and make sure you’re ok. And he craved to punch that fucking punk beside you.

He’s fully aware he has  no right to be jealous, after all he was the one to build a wall between you two and start a relationship with someone else… but he just can’t help it. THe thought of you with someone else cuts him to the bones...

Yeah. He can use this time away. He needs Anna. He said the truth. He’s terrified of hurting her and that possibility seems more and more real… she means so much to him, he really doesn’t know what he’d do without her. He wants to be the boyfriend she deserves and he’ll be.

A buzz on his pocket gets him out of his thoughts.  As Anna leans back from his shoulder as he grabs his phone and frowns at the unknown number on the screen.

“Who is it?” She asks.

He just shrugs and brings the cellphone to his ear.

“Yeah?”

“Hello, I need to speak to… ahm…”The person on the other end takes a pause, “Bucky?”

“That’s me, who is this?”

“I’m calling from the New York-Presbyterian Hospital. You’re Miss Y/N YLN emergency contact-”

All his air gets punched out of his stomach. He doesn’t get to hear the rest as he hastily get up, about to force his trembling legs to flee. He almost yanks away his arm from the touch around his elbow, but stops when he turns and sees Anna with a desperate questioning look.

“What’s happening?”

He swallows thickly, “It’s Y/N… she’s in an hospital. I-I don’t know what…” He licks his lips, not really wanting to  waist any other second, “I’m sorry, Anna, but I gotta go.” He knows this probably means missing the flight, but it’s not up to discussion.

“I’m coming with you.” She swiftly grabs her handbag.

He nods and makes a beeline to the way out. Anna shortly after him. The loud thundering of his heart drawing out every sound, every thought from his mind, except the desperate need to get to you.

~~~

Bucky knows desperation. It’s like he’s meeting an old friend. Or better, an old enemy. He hates giving in to desperation. All his senses become blurred, he can’t think right. He just acts. He just follows the despair like a compliant servant. That’s why the driveway towards the hospital happened like a shadow. He doesn’t quite remember how he got there where he is now. At the waiting room, after running over a number of floors.

People, probably nurses, told him it was a car accident on a crossroads. You didn’t stop at the traffic light. Apparently it wasn’t that serious, but they told him he had to wait for the doctor, who would be right there, to know details.

And that’s what he’s been doing. Sitting on a tiny chair, lips pressed between his teeth, elbows over bouncing knees. He knows it hasn’t been too long since he got there but it feels like forever… fuck he needs to know you’re ok.

“Buck.”

He looks up to see the concerned faces of Steve, Nat, Wanda and Sam rushing into the room. Anna must’ve called them on the way. Anna… although he knows  she’s been by his side the whole time he made the choice to not look or talk to her ever since he lied he was your fiancée so they would give him information.   

“How is she?” Nat exasperates as he gets up.

“James Barnes?”

They all turn to see the doctor getting into the room. He’s young, probably an intern. Bucky doesn’t like it, but chooses to keep it to himself. For now.

“That’s me.” He steps forward.

“You’re miss Y/N Y/L/N fiancée, right?”

He ignores the turning faces at him to respond, “Yes, how’s she?”

“She’s fine. She’s resting. Your girl is very tough and lucky.” He smiles at Bucky, who finally breathes, indulging him with the warmth on his chest after hearing you being referred as his girl, “Just a couple of scratches and a broken wrist. She was taken to the ER because she was unconscious when she got here, due a hit on the head.” When Bucky’s eyes furrow, the doctor quickly adds, “Oh, but don’t worry, we ran some tests and it seems like it was just a minor injury. She’ll be ok.”

It’s like the whole world has been lifted from Bucky’s shoulders and his heart goes back to beating. You’re ok. You’re safe. Unable to contain a big smile to curl up his lips, Bucky looks at his friends and sees the relief seeping into their expressions as well.   

“Oh, I almost forgot,” the young doctor excitedly says before Bucky turns his attention back to him.

Putting a hand over Bucky’s shoulder, the doctor grins widely at him, whose  heart stops all over again when the next works reach his ears, “Everything is alright with the baby. Tough little bean, just like its mama.”

[human-trash-fire]

Shot Through The Heart Ch. 2

Aelin:

Aelin reclined deeper into the massage chair currently working the knots in her upper back, as the water continued to fill at her feet. Mimosa in hand she sighed and closed her eyes, she was at peace for a brief moment before Lysandra shrieked. 

“OH. MY. GODS. A, why didn’t you tell me?!” She practically screamed, much to the chagrin of every patron in the upscale salon. 

“Tell you what…?” Aelin replied, rolling her head dramatically to the right to look at her friend.

“You’re trending on twitter again” she shoved her phone in Aelin’s face, “and you’ll never believe why!”

Aelin looked at the Twitter homepage and there at the top, with 1 million retweets and counting was #AelinCallHimMaybe. “What the hell? Hang on,” she put down her drink and pulled out her own phone. Flipping apps she went to Twitter to find the hashtag. There was a video linked, by someone with the handle “@moonmoon69”right at the top.

“WAIT! I wanna see this” Lysandra said at the same time Elide, on her left leaned in and said “Click it!” All three girls, heads together and mimosas abandoned, crammed in to look at Aelin’s phone.

She clicked play and immediately one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen appeared on the screen. His sepia toned skin was glowing in the sun, and he had long blonde hair pulled into a bun atop his head. He was wearing a Terrasen Army uniform, though the jacket was completely forgotten, and the t-shirt he wore instead clung to every dip and curve of muscle. He was standing in what was clearly a military post somewhere in the desert and smiling with perfect charm. “Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, you are my Queen. I, Sergeant First Class Fenrys Moonbeam, would like to humbly ask you to accompany me to the Army Ball this year. Please, call me maybe?”

Aelin’s jaw hit the floor as the scene before her cut to boots walking on the ground, and the music began. Suddenly Fenrys was back on the screen lip-syncing the lyrics to possibly the cheesiest pop song ever written, and all three women began laughing. Aelin couldn’t help it when her heart skipped a beat as Fenrys turned to the camera and winked at the end of his verse. The scene changed again and this time Fenrys, and four other men, all equally muscular and attractive, were laying on chaise lounges in nothing but short-shorts and combat boots. 

“You have to say yes, look at them!” Lysandra squealed, while Elide nodded vigorously on her other side.

The men continued to lip sync from different places on the base, always shirtless and shining with sweat. Aelin at this point had began to laugh hysterically, and all three girls crooned over the men dancing on screen. They had absolutely no talent, but seemed not to care how ridiculous they looked as they popped up from the dirt and lit off colored smoke in the background. Each of the six men had a turn to solo into the camera. Aelin’s breath caught again when, towards the end, the silver haired man with tattoos seductively danced around in what looked to be a makeshift kiddy-pool.

The last frame was all of them looking over the camera from above and smirking, before they walked away. The twitter handle @moonmoon69 popped up once more with the hashtag #AelinCallHimMaybe below it. All three girls were still giggling as she closed the link out, and looked up from her phone.

“Sweet gods,” she breathed, trying to calm herself down a bit. “Did you know the Army made men that look like that?”

“Did you see the one with long dark hair and black eyes? He looks like an angry sex God, and I think I need him in my life,” Elide replied.

“You’re saying ‘yes’ right? Do it for me, us.. Do it for Terrasen. It’s your civic duty,” Lysandra pleaded.

“For Terrasen?” Aelin replied with a conspiratorial grin, “Fuck it, i’m in. But you two are helping me figure out how to respond to this and, you’re coming with me. But first-” she chugged her previously forgotten mimosa, “Pedicures.”

***********************

“How do I even go about doing this?” Aelin asked over brunch a few hours later. The three women hadn’t stopped swooning over the men in the video, and if Aelin was being honest they had watched it three more times before ever arriving at their table.

“Well you obviously need to DM him” Elide replied, ever the voice of reason.

“Buuuuuut,” Lys dragged out the word with a smirk, “I think you should make a video of your own. It’s good press and he’s clearly in need of some feminine attention. You’ll blow his mind, and then hopefully other things,” she finished with an outrageous wink.

“LYS!” both Aelin and Elide screeched before the three erupted into a fit of laughter.

When they finally recovered, Aelin agreed that the first step should be making a video of her own. The publicity would do wonders for her, and she could reach out and worry about the logistics later. After a long debate they decided that the best way to respond would be something flirty but not embarrassing. “Let’s give the men overseas something to daydream about,” Aelin finished with a smirk.

*******************************************************

Rowan:

Half awake and entirely pissed, Rowan was sitting at the table eating breakfast with most of his Cadre when Fenrys burst in yelling “I TOLD YOUUUUU!”

“Its 0400. Why the fuck are you yelling?” He practically growled over his coffee.

“Because,” Fenrys smiled as he sat down, “She responded, you’ll never believe this… Hang on.” Fen pulled his laptop out and set it so that they could all see, then directed their attention to a video he had already pulled up. There she was, smiling at the camera with practiced ease, flanked by not one but two equally beautiful and famous women: Lysandra Ennar and Elide Lochan. Rowan’s eyebrows kissed his hairline.

“There is no way-” He began, but was quickly shushed by Gavriel, Connall, Vaughn, and surprisingly even Lorcan. Fenrys pressed play.

The three women were dressed in what could only be described as the “slutty Halloween” version of the uniform Rowan currently had on. Paired with black heeled combat boots and red lipstick, her long tan legs were on full display. Rowan hated to admit it, even to himself, but she was the literal embodiment of his “questionable” teenage dreams.

“Hello gorgeous,” Aelin practically purred. “First and foremost I’d like to thank you and your delicious Cadre for that lovely video.” Rowan choked on his coffee at the name she used for them, the name they used for themselves.

“I’d be honored to be your date to this year’s Ball, but I have a few small requests. My friends here,” she motioned to the women beside her, “would like to accompany us so that we can have a chance to properly thank you for your dedication to Terrasen. We’d like to take you Fenrys, and the men in your video on a night out in Orynth after the ball… If you’re interested.” She grinned at the camera, and the look made Rowan’s heart beat a little too fast.

“If you’ll have us,” Lysandra spoke now, “We’d like to show you around in style. A limo for the event, the penthouse suite at The Palace hotel, and a private after party for your friends and a few more of ours.”

“In the meantime,” Elide continued, “Enjoy the care packages we’ll be sending to each of you just as soon as we get your information. If you have any special requests, don’t hesitate to ask!”

“A little something to help the days go by faster on your long, and hard deployment,” Aelin winked. “We can’t wait to meet you.” 

The last shot was all three women blowing a kiss to the camera. Rowan couldn’t believe it. The Princess of Orynth had responded to Fen. It took them nearly an entire day off to make that stupid video, more than one bottle of whiskey, and it had worked. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed, the 6 men were still staring with their jaws on the floor at the frozen image of the women on screen, lips still puckered.

“I KNOW!” Fenrys laughed, “I told you it would work, and when we get home we’ll have the most insane night of our lives. You can thank me anytime.”

“Thank you,” the entire cadre chimed in unison while still staring at the screen. The next 2 months were going to drag along knowing what was waiting for them when they returned home.

Rowan cleared his throat, “But, you’re still on laundry duty boyo.” 

__________________________________

Here’s a link to the video that inspired this fic! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PKiUjRSKI8

____________________________________

FIRST AND FOREMOST: MAAAAAAAAD thanks to @highqueenofelfhame​ for editing this work, your writing is an inspiration and I’m so thankful to have you there to read my nonsense before it’s published!

Secondly: Thank you all so much for the positive responses/ reblogs on Chapter 1! I’m so excited to share this chapter with you and I assure you I have many more to come <3 Feel free to follow along on ao3 glam_reaper2 <3

Tag List:

@http-itsrebecca​ @highqueenofelfhame​ @feyrethedarklady​ @someonemagical​ @thebitchupstairs​ @over300books​

[focusfixated]

fic rec post: bookmarks of 2019

hooo boy i really got through some fandoms this year. from right-on-time fandoms that i got to partake in as they were happening (good omens) to years-too-late fandoms i only just discovered (hannibal), there have been some real outstanding things to read from authors across multiple fandoms and genres. 

i’ve put together a list below of some of the fics I bookmarked to my ao3 this year - some were written in 2019, some are older than that, but all of them left their mark on me these past 12 months.

i haven’t listed and reviewed every single story i have bookmarked this year, or else i’d be composing this post for weeks, so i’ve also put quick links at the end to other recs that you can find on my ao3 if you wish to peruse.

here’s the list, arranged by fandom, chronologically in the order i read them:

fandom: dirk gently’s holistic detective agency

interrogation by goingtoalaska – @holistick on tumblr

rating: G

pairing: dirk/todd

summary: Of course Dirk has some extremely important questions that can only be asked in the middle of the goddamn night, obviously.

notes: one of those dialogue-rich, beautifully-crafted, one-shot fics that just perfectly exemplifies the form. i’m always impressed by authors whose strength is in funny, well-written dialogue. it’s really one of the most difficult things to master. this is a well-observed rendering of these characters subtly done through conversation. comical, sweet, quick-witted, lovely.

fandom: hannibal

 consenting to dream by emungere – @emungere on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: will/hannibal

summary: a seduction through physical objects. It starts with a scarf loaned to Will on a cold day, but Hannibal, as usual, isn't satisfied with anything small.

notes: a perfectly-crafted slowburn sugar daddy AU structured around gifts and offerings that tangle hannibal and will gradually into an ever darker, more complicated, more intense relationship. this was one of those fandom-transcendent stories that was of such gripping quality, i read the whole story and its sequel without having any knowledge of the source material and went to watch the hannibal TV series entirely off the back of having read the fic.

it's honestly stunning how beautifully this is written. the consistent characterisation, the slow development and revelation of the dynamic between the hannibal and will, and the powerplay between them is so utterly compelling. i'm so fascinated and enthralled by the exploration of power dynamics, the shifting balance between what hannibal wants, and what he wants to give, and how will is both subsumed by his need to please and be cared for, and is at the same time motivated so strongly by the desire to see hannibal out of control.

everything is just so perfectly on a knife's edge at all times, it makes the development of their relationship throughout totally riveting.

  the wave at morning by emungere – @emungere on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: will/hannibal

summary: post-fall, Will and Hannibal strike a new balance in their relationship.

notes: i have probably re-read this one more often than anything else this year. more of a collection of scenes that build up the picture of a relationship than a whole story, this nevertheless has such a raw intensity, it’s one of my favourite things i’ve ever read in any fandom. a concisely-observed exploration of a developing dom/sub relationship which is based on both a powerful sexual desire and a compelling, psychological push-and-pull dynamic between the characters.

masterfully-written and searingly hot, it hits emotional notes with such accuracy and economy, leaving all this imaginative breathing room around the scenes which are remarkably stimulating. desire comes off this in waves and is so worth waiting for.

also, read everything by @emungere. a stunningly talented writer.

  fandom: legend

 you’ll find it funny (when you’re looking back someday) by th_esaurus

rating: E

pairing: ronnie/teddy

summary: It was around this time that Teddy Smith began his nightly habit of leaning on the wall across the road from Esmeralda's Barn with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips and the top two buttons of his baby-blue shirt undone. He'd a mole dead centre on his neck and tilted his chin back to show it off, waiting for someone to come by and offer him a match.

notes: after watching the film and being left disappointed that we didn’t get to properly explore any of the fascinating characteristics of ronnie kray, violent gangster and known homosexual, this fic was bang on.

an insight into the dangerous, volatile connection between ronnie kray and mad teddy smith, and a thrilling exploration of desire and power between two unstable men. every detail in this story was so keenly-observed and delicious to read. the writing had a poetic flow to it that i enjoyed immensely, and i read it back to back three times in a row, just trying to absorb everything on offer here.

  fandom: rocketman

 what if the birds aren’t singing, they’re screaming? by th_esaurus

rating: M

pairing: elton/bernie, elton/john

summary: He is spectacularly good at making music and spectacularly good at making mistakes.

notes: an angsty one, but such a satisfying read. so achingly full of feeling, the whole story simmers like the film's version of elton john does, with a kind of raging disappointment and dissatisfaction. there is such a vivid sense of place here, such beautiful descriptions of scenery, and every snap of elton's temper against the backdrop of these warm landscapes is so keenly felt. incredibly well-observed.

the pace and flow of it, too, the way the dialogue moves, the barbs and quips and the push-and-pull of the dynamic between elton and bernie, makes for such a compelling characterisation. there is a palpable agony in the unrequited love here that anyone would recognise. the whole thing is so well-drawn, so achingly hurtful, and utterly wonderful to read.

also, do yourself a favour and read everything th_esaurus has ever written, because it’s always incredible.

  fandom: good omens

 ad astra by drawlight - @drawlight on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Some things can only be said in the dark.

notes: and so we come to the good omens portion of the evening. this has been an astoundingly creative and productive fandom to be a part of, and has been a really fulfilling, satisfying place to put a lot of feelings. there are so many brilliant stories i’ve read since getting into this fandom, it’s hard to pick a few, but i’ll start with this wonderful classic. 

an incredibly-drawn portrait of the first tentative moments of something new. so beautifully full to bursting with images and ideas and feelings, so economic and poised in its language, it really sinks into the depth and detail of what makes these characters who they are, what draws them to each other, and it aches in the most heartfelt of ways.

  the lightness of you by rend_herring 

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

notes: this is so wonderful. the tone, the pace, the way it moves so trippingly and joyfully from thing to thing, crowley's continual internal monologue which is absolutely charming and very endearing, the lightness of the humour and at the same time the depth and breadth of feeling in this, the very concept of love and what it means to have god's love, and the love of another to fill the void. this made me have such Feelings about crowley.

also likens an orgasm to the cosmic altering of the very universe and managed to make it feel both evocative and true.

  bent to the very earth by ark – @et-in-arkadia on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

notes: a fantastic read. i am so absolutely here for the constant shifting dynamics between these two, the things you'd expect from angels and demons, and the circumventing of those expectations in aziraphale and crowley. all of it is absolutely delicious, so well-observed and beautifully-crafted. 

written with all the humour and tenderness that makes them such enjoyable characters to read. also this is probably the key story that made me a fan of service top antony j. crowley now and forever.

lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix & wishwellingtons – @placetnemagistra and @scurator on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it's always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why.

notes: this story destroyed every single one of my corporeal cells and projected my soul directly into the ether. incredible writing. it gives me such visceral delight to read a story that puts so much effort into its reference points - all these joyful, ornamental little sprigs of detail throughout that make this universe thoroughly lived-in and a delight to experience.

the way this story deals with food - it's exceptionally, viscerally erotic, but it symbolises so many things too; love, indulgence, pleasure, deprivation, guilt. all the things that food does represent, in our daily lives. but it's somehow heightened here, used as a turning point, a metaphor, a symbol. truly one of the best things i’ve ever read.

a bookshop is not a business by anactoriatalksback - @itsevidentvery on tumblr

rating: G

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: In which Aziraphale has no intention of selling books to anyone at all, let alone this infuriatingly persistent customer. No matter how nice his cheekbones are.

notes: absolutely delightful reading from start to finish. such a brilliantly witty tone, very pythonesque and also in keeping with the humour from the book, but also gives us all the added layers of gay disaster crowley and aziraphale from the tv series. i love every little detail in this, everything is just so well-crafted and funny, it’s really writing of the highest calibre. the back and forth of the dialogue between aziraphale and crowley is so enjoyable to read, with its quick, snappy, sparkling pace. wonderfully fluffy entertainment.

  classics appreciation with a.j. crowley by yolkinthejump - @yolkinthejump on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: Aziraphale lays a temptation for Crowley. Literally: lays himself down and waits and asks for something without actually asking, as is his way. Crowley, as is his way, is happy to oblige.

notes: thorough filth of the purest kind. this is intensely gorgeous. the glorious mess of it, the physical love and joy and the depth of their need for each other just sings off the page. an ode to form, to the body, this leans into touch and physicality in such a powerful way, but maintains a poetry and lyricism which is lovely to read. aziraphale, in all his lazy luxury, and crowley, scattered and overcome – both of these characterisations were so on point. This is such a stand-out thing, decadent and intimate and so wonderfully-written.

  the curious attractiveness of others by giddygeek - @giddygeek on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: “I’m rough,” Crowley argued. “A rough beast, and all that. Well,” he corrected himself, “an agent of the rough beast. Well, an associate. It’s all very complicated, as you bloody well know."

notes: a truly stunning piece of work that revolves around touch and the complicated sublimation of feelings that can’t be expressed. there is such a strong sense of character here, aziraphale's infinite softness in the face of crowley's wild, windmilling panic, and there’s a lushly detailed narrative full of little moments of humour that are a joy to read. 

it’s a simple and beautiful expression of their relationship taking place inside a magical, miraculous world made up of mundane, ordinary things that are elevated by the author’s gorgeous narrative. there are so many stand-out moments in this; brilliant, sharp lines, beautifully executed, establishing both world-building and character-stuff in one, fluid motion. this is choirs-of-angels levels of wonderful.

  it’s the beginning of a new age by fluorescentgrey - @yeats-infection on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: aziraphale/crowley 

summary: In August 1970, Aziraphale and Crowley attend one of the Velvet Underground's final shows at Max's Kansas City.

notes: reading this fic was like listening to a really beautiful song. the entire thing is just suffused with meaning and emotion, and there’s such a powerful evocation throughout of the feeling behind art and music and connection. It gave me shivers. there’s a weighty, beautiful power behind the words here, chosen so carefully to their greatest effect.

this fandom has some incredible, creative ways of evoking symbolism or finding parallels between religion or holiness or ecstasy of a sort with other earthly feelings (sex, desire, servitude, love) but since reading this i've not yet found such a stunning evocation of this feeling of connectedness drawn through music anywhere else. this is beyond a beautiful good omens story. this has made me project directly into emotional existentialism. also i fucking love the velvet underground.

gorgeous details, perfect turns of phrase that are so precise and ringing with humour. heavy with longing and nostalgia, a sense of time lost, change, uncertainty. this story is a goddamn piece of art.

de bono coniguali by ineptshieldmaid - @ineptshieldmaid on tumblr

rating: M

pairing: aziraphale/crowley

summary: ‘Nonsense,’ Aziraphale says, briskly, ‘Monogamy has nothing to do with it. We committed sodomy twice last Sunday.’ Crowley goes to speak, but Aziraphale is nothing if not skilled in rhetoric, and he holds up a hand, ‘which, of course, does not invalidate the sacrament; it’s rather like baptism, it can’t be reversed, but it can be defiled, and I think all authorities would agree that vigorous sodomy on Sundays defiles the sacrament of marriage.’

notes: there is a fascinating concept being explored, here, in the interpretation of religious doctrine, and about how to exist as a queer person while also being a member of a faith community. it digs into ideas of sanctity and absolution beyond the usual handwavey explanations of “goodness” and looks more deeply at what religion means, culturally, for the people who might have difficulty reconciling these different aspects of their identity.

it’s a really brilliantly-written thing. there is such an enjoyable precision to the ideas being shared through aziraphale and crowley’s conversation about religious doctrine and its application. there’s so much rich historical detail here, a neat, precise pacing of dialogue, and is full of smart, witty and interesting asides. this is a story in which the two have a very clear dynamic as established partners and lovers – their conversational back-and-forth is easy at times, and at others has to be carefully extricated, but always in a way that you can feel the years of connection there.

  fandom: the goldfinch

 A Grand Inquisition: Being an Investigation and Evaluation of Certain Things Done and Undone, Said and Unsaid, Over the Course of Many Years (or Perhaps Merely in Dreams) by m_leigh - @morgan-leigh on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: boris/theo

summary: what r u doing for Christmas this yr? Come hang with me again I have nothing going on but big as fuck bottle of vodka with as you people are saying, your name on it.

notes: this is how we wish the book had ended. reading this just absolutely floored me. the complexity of sentiments in this, the span of time and the emotions caught in it, the poetry! the boris-voice is spot on – dark, messy and crooked, while also having this kind of gamely, optimistic attitude, never lingering too long on what can’t be changed. fantastic characterisation. 

the details in the landscape and scenery around within this story were also stunning - all these different places, antwerp, amsterdam, berlin, vegas. just absolutely wonderful. economic and evocative all at once. read it and then read it again.

  the ledge by fluorescentgrey – @yeats-infection on tumblr

rating: M

pairing: boris/theo

summary: In the hotel elevator, he stared at himself in the endless mirror. Thin man (Bob Dylan chords) in black coat, with little white dog. His nose was red from coke. Eyes red from maybe something else.

notes: is it weird to cry because you love someone’s words so much? this story is like a peeling-off of layers of skin to get at all the grimy, glistening rawness of feeling underneath. reading this kind of hurts, because it focuses in on this relentless, wild careen into self-destruction, but it's more than just the subject matter that had me repeatedly covering my face and muttering ohmygod. it's the shape of this whole story, the form of it brought together exquisite writing which is unconscionably good.

every sentence flows into the next one with such precision and depth of meaning, making each next thing more compelling and subtly significant because of what came before. it's impossible to pick anything out, it feels like pulling a thread and the whole thing unravels, because everything is so closely-connected, so elaborately woven. there is an effortlessness to the detail in this, in the way we dip and weave through these seething, living landscapes, elevated by observations full of poetry and feeling.

this goes without saying probably, but please read everything fluorescentgrey writes.

  fandom: inception

 pants on fire by helenish

rating: E

pairing: arthur/eames

summary: "Ah," Yusuf says, lifting a reproving hand, "are we calling less than 24 hours of memory loss amnesia now?"

notes: finding new stories to read in throwback fandoms is such a joy. this one is absolutely outstanding. arthur and eames both find themselves experiencing bouts of amnesia, and the concept is used as a tool to explore how their relationship appears to each other without baggage or bias in such a brilliantly-executed way. 

the character exploration here is incredible, breaking open the layers of complexity of arthur and eames’ feelings and desires with such deftness. the dialogue is also marvellous, so engaging, witty and heartbreaking in turn. just an incredibly-executed, extremely compelling story. 

  breaking and entering by resonant

rating: E

pairing: arthur/eames

summary: Eames is very good at pretending.

notes: if you’re going to rewatch the film, do yourself a favour and read this afterwards. there is such fantastic detail here, and such a strength of character development, the pacing feels wonderfully measured, the story so full of life.

this is the kind of story where the author has such an enviable talent for richly-detailed, well-researched background information. the jobs they’re running, the locations they end up in, and the smaller details too – the items in a room, the clothes they wear. the world that’s built around them is tangible, and the emotion it’s infused with is too.

part of this focuses on the idea that eames being the forger/pretender archetype means he has this kind of detached observation of the disparate elements of what he’s feeling, his default mode always set to pretending and going through the motions of something without understanding the truth of it, and although it was perfectly in-character for him, it also felt like an extremely universal and human way of fumbling into relationships, which made it very moving, and a wonderful thing to read.

  fandom: harry potter

 grounds for divorce by tepre – @tepre on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: harry/draco

summary: Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

notes: jesus christ this story. the detail and care with which the world is coloured-in here is just incredible. the added lore, the historical detail, the characterisation of people in the background, the thought behind the practical aspects of things like the curses and spells, the modes of travel, the administrative set-up of ministry departments, the daily grind of work, the science of potion-making, everything is so thought-through, whether it's a deeply important and relevant part to the story, or a passing detail in the background it all serves to make this thing such a rich, unique, fully lived-in world that expands out to the edges and even further, like there's even more beyond just the bounds of what this story shows us. 

this story takes us on a journey. i forget how good a good bit of angst can be, but this story reminds me of how enjoyable it can be to give yourself up to an author's hands, and let them take you somewhere dark and painful, let them unpick the misery, the hurt, the fear, the trauma, and lead you out into the light, into healing and resolution.

this story felt so starkly real, a deeper and more honest look at harry and the life he’s experienced than any bullshit nineteen years later epilogue ever did.

  the weather inside by earlybloomingparentheses - @ebp-brain on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: remus/sirius

summary: Sirius rides a flying motorbike, and snogs strangers in pubs, and strikes moody poses Remus finds irritatingly attractive. But for Remus, who drinks milky tea and wears flannel pyjamas, there's a chasm cracked right down the fault line between wanting and doing. How he wants, though. How he wants.

notes: a vividly intelligent, compelling looks at remus' desires and fantasies, at the way he navigates his own understanding of what being a werewolf means, and how it shapes him. the queer themes here are starkly present, the weight and baggage of desire, the complexity of sexuality. 

sharply melancholic at times, this is also a really lovely, deeply emotional look at the stumbling, difficult way remus and sirius eventually find a path to each other. it’s ultimately optimistic in its portrayal of love and desire, and the feeling that you can be understood, can be known, can be found. just beautiful, a real hard-hitter.

  fandom: IT

 how much more than enough for both of us by pineapplecrushface - @pineapplecrushface on tumblr

rating: E

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: Richie has tried very, very hard to get laid over the last twenty years, but something has always gotten in the way.

notes: your guess is honestly as good as mine as to how i ended up in this fandom, but here we are, and there are some truly wonderful stories to enjoy. this one is beautifully-written – the longing, the aching, the sadness, i could feel it in my bones. deals with the concept of forgetting, and supernatural horror aside, there's something really simple and human about this mortifying ordeal of going for person after person and fucking it up each time and sabotaging yourself in the search for love. well-written, lovely, simple, tender.

also you should really read everything by @pineapplecrushface - both their work in IT fandom and good omens is stunning.

  things that happen after eddie lives by ifithollers 

rating: E

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: in a world where Richie manages to save Eddie from It after the deadlights, they still have problems on their to-do list. Featuring everything from Derry to Los Angeles—Richie Tozier's murder trial, Eddie Kaspbrak's divorce proceedings, bedsharing of the platonic and non-platonic varieties, an investigation of magic, a truly disgusting séance, the quintessential morosexual road trip, and OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES.

notes: this is top-tier, next-level, Good Shit. a real satisfying slow burn full of incredible, nuanced character stuff, high-stakes drama, trial & error, with a real, tangible move towards understanding, and maybe healing. plotty, narratively compelling, manages to balance real-world, atmospherically humdrum details with some viscerally brilliant and strange supernatural elements.

also a masterclass in exploring self-loathing, trauma, and sexuality in a way that is necessarily uncomfortable, and fascinating and cathartic. the razor-fine line of being paralysed into inaction by wrecking-ball levels of want was powerfully compelling to read both as a look at a particular kind of queer-baggaged desire, and also as an exploration of who these characters are.

full of smart, brilliant banter and dialogue, i am always overwhelmingly grateful to authors who have the talent and fortitude to tackle a novel of a fic, to give us this much wonderful, quality entertainment absolutely for free. what a gift.

  the kids table by stitchy – @stitchyarts on tumblr

rating: T

pairing: richie/eddie

summary: For the most part Richie and his sister have a doctrine of mutually assured destruction. They could obliterate each other with their parents given the slightest provocation. To keep things at an even keel, they steer clear of each other as much as possible every other day of the year, but on Thanksgiving? Kids Table is like their NATO.

notes: an observation of how things change within families as time goes on - people die, people get married, people get divorced, the family dynamic changes, and there's always a really painful process of trying not to get left behind, trying to change with it, but also trying to hold on.

i’m recommending this one, but honestly, do yourselves a favour and read everything stitchy has written for this fandom. this one particularly stood out to me because i’m an absolute sucker for sibling fic, especially when it’s written like this; emotional, witty, astutely-observed, resonant.

the core of the sibling relationship between richie and his sister here is a joy to read. this is a lovely, humorous and emotional story told in a series of thanksgivings, filled with keenly-observed, vivid, details, and written in a really sharp, concise style that cuts clearly to the truth of a feeling. absolutely wonderful.

---

okay! that took forever. i hope someone finds something in there to enjoy they maybe haven’t read yet. and if you’ve got your own fic rec posts, please link me!

quick links to more recs:

good omens

harry potter

it

the goldfinch

hannibal

all other fandoms