#should I cancel myself?
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Wait wait wait, liking Taylor Swift music is now a red flag? Oof, shit, okay, um, what level of problematic is it? Like, don’t tread on me flags or I Don’t Do Politics problematic? Should I be hiding the fact that I like Taylor Swift music until after my politics are known?
#I got a red flag#i just realized#taylor swift#death of the artist#leftist#nervous#awkward#this isn’t jk rowling levels is it#should I cancel myself?
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What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?
#fe warriors three hopes#mercedes von martritz#miklan anschutz gautier#we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it#i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way#so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault)#did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him#no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF#no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how#he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes#who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ?#like that npc stuck with me a while ok#just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now#i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo
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#using 'them' because obviously not all transfem folks (myself included) use she & her#add this one to one of my more super hot takes even if it's true#stop canceling trans women over stuff you absolutely get it up for#also making this because of recent events & no I won't elaborate even if you ask me to#and no I won't debate the ethics of adults playing pretend with you as that's silly; a waste of my time#and is also just not what this post is about; you'd think that'd be obvious but watch people not care anyway#feel free to send asks though It's up to me whether or not I want to answer them#this double standard is never done in good faith & is most assuredly transphobia 100%#marking this post as all of the things because I know the people on this site can't behave; I've seen it before#yes you should reblog this btw; this also happens on twitter & reddit I'm sure though I have no twitter#mine#op#fauxcest#sibcon#step mom#siscon#brocon#sibcest#trans memes#transgender memes#cw adult things#cw adult stuff#tagging all of these just to be safe
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#marketing class is... fascinating /negative so far#gender is too Not A Big Deal to me for this#it puts so much weight on how traditional gender roles influence shopping habits#which like. it's just weird to have to throw myself into that mindset of 'men vs women' for a grade#because in my mind‚ the lines between the two lean pretty insignificant#like i get it. i'm not here to cancel this random ass course skjskdsd it's just a weird feeling to have to consciously lean INTO that#like there are objective demographic differences and patterns but it feels WEIRD to be reading my textbook about how#you should market cleaning supplies to women and beer to men#like i know it's all just about numbers and it's literally not that deep but it feels offputting to me personally sdksdks
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i know i use radfem as a shorthand for the gyns on here who Believe those Beliefs but i think radical feminism is something one does, not an identity, and i think part of our collective problem is that we're all still submerged in the deep fryer that is identity politics
#i don't think of myself as a feminist bc i don't do feminist action#i do... feminist INactions lol. not shaving. not wearing makeup. not growing my hair out. not dating men.#i try to prioritize women in my life and creatively#but to me feminism is activism#i think we need to get back to talking abt feminist ACTIONS over feminist identity#and then ppl maybe wouldn't take it so hard hearing ''this is not a feminist action'' vs hearing ''you are not a feminist''#should you try to align your life with your beliefs? of course#but also doing non-feminist things is not necessarily cancelling out every feminist thing you do lol it just doesn't work like that
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honestly incredibly Crowley coded of me to dye my hair orange 3 hours before they cancel the Neil Gaiman talk I was supposed to attend (and low key cosplay for) Saturday
#cosplaying by fucking myself over in ways I should have entirely foreseen#anthony “j’ouroboros” crowley#the last day to cancel the air bnb was yesterday lol#neil gaiman#good omens
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small leisurely moments like these mean more than expected
ok hi triglycergang. it's AUGUST?!?!?! ugh,,,, anyways here's my like once a month art piece because i am a slow ass artist. the mtt are supposed to be chatting at a park during sunset!!! also new au just dropped
you wonder why killer dust and horror are wearing those DISGUSTING outfits??? you wonder where killer's soul is??? well it's all gone in this au which is called uhhh.
jk fashion au... wooooo!!
first things first to know: this au is NOT my idea. it was originally someone on twitter's idea to dress sans aus up in nanchatte seifuku but i think their account got deleted/banned. and i cant find the account because it was a japanese account and probably has some random username. so just remember that this isn't my idea but i guess my own twist on it. i really wish i could find the og creator,,,,
second thing to know: what the fuck nanchatte seifuku/jk (just kidding) fashion even is. here's the link to read for yourself: https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Nanchatte_Seifuku. yeah that's jk fashion. i really loved this au when i found it originally because i myself dress up in jk and also i just really love soft fluffy things like this. this au isn't gonna be angsty or particularly elaborate or anything i just wanted cute things and women in my murder time trio. also this isn't gyaru btw
third thing: uhh my inspirations for this??? well my main one that i really wanna focus on is that feeling of happy sentimental melancholy. you know like after you finish a really fun day hanging out with your friends and youre on the drive home and look back at how fun the day was? that's what i wanna encapsulate :3 also i think that the day to day school life is really cute and sweet and i wanna make more designs for the other aus so my trio can have more people to hang out with
well uhhh i think that's it?? mayhaps i shall begin drafting up other designs for the other aus. i wanna make little mini comics for this too like 4koma because i love those short yet sweet comics!!! should i tag this? i think i should tag this perchance. also extra mtt notes/full designs below became i love these three they're my daughters
#tricule art#jk fashion au#i wonder how many lesbians i can fit into one au before it gets to be too much#i can't believe this is actually real LMAO. i really just slapped uniforms onto the mtt and called it a day#ok but fr this au is gonna help me figure out how to publish swapinverse so haha. i get fun and learning#this au is just a bunch of projection from me onto the sans aus. i make them hang out because i have nobody else to irl#UHHH i doubt people are gonna wanna draw this au themselves but if you want to.... go ahead..... i dont mind.......!!!!!#also i doubt people are gonna send asks but.... if they do..... 𝓱𝓮𝓱....i'll answer alright#i have ideas for other designs teehee. ink design idea. cross design idea. epic idea. nightmare dream idea. soon the entire utmv will be jk#i think the first 4koma is gonna be mtt debating doors vs wheels. because i think they should#and then another 4koma about them sharing lunches and i'll do some cultural research there#and then another 4koma about killer's several cancellations#4koma about horror's personality switch up when alone#i just have so many ideas and love for this cute au#if people draw this/ask about it i think i will genuinely blow up#if people are weird with them i think i will drown myself. they are MINORS in HIGH SCHOOL. everyone has shorts under neath their skirts /sr#sorry for the human limbs fellas i couldn't be bothered to draw full skeleton bodies. just pretend theyre full skeletons#i really pushed myself with this one. i think???? idk this felt easier than it shouldve been#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sans gang#bad sanses#utmv#undertale au#sans au#undertale multiverse#utmv au#undertale
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&&. @murderreign is blocked for being an enabler,,,,,,,, it was just a thought,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, just a fun lil ha ha,,,,,,,, just an experiment to see if could make a face i liked for vellioth,,,,,,,,,,,,,, god dont let it go any further,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont need more blogs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
#&&. ivy speaks.#murderreign#im gonna cancel myself in a moment#my hubris strikes me so deep#doing male faces is hard but hes.... kinda... pretty.......#maybe i really should make....m-make....
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OG Charles-Cat anon: Reason for my naming is because;
A. Hysterical that the cat is basically named after Charles BUUUUT she TECHICALLY isn't- *flutters his psychic eyelashes*
And B. Erik is so fucked for names. Can't use Charlie, can't use Charles. Nope. Has to look at this oversized naked molerat and use-
Charlotte Erika Xavier Lehnsherr~
speaking in cursive gotta be DIABOLICAL 😭😭
#snap chats#I DO BELIEVE charles-adjacent names to be incredibly funny. and we know my rule with funny....#also whenever erik says 'charles' in any adaption i giggle and kick my feet and charlotte is no better#ive always loved the name 'charles' if i can be so tbh. at the very least it was my favorite go-to name when making joke svjELAAEJ#charles ..... a very lovely name for a lovely man ... and PERHAPS ALSO for a lovely cat......#charles-adjacent names are winning the popular vote i think just based on asks and stuff#oh but pivoting. chat can i get an F my sonic riders plans were cancelled today :(((((((((( gonna kms#jk im just gonna watch filth tonight then YEEHAW oh god my stomach rumbling jesus christ. maybe i should eat first#brain heard me think to myself i wanted to get a lil drink for the movie and was like 'not before you fuckin eat freak'#that's a tonight plan tho. we got more IMPORTANT matters at hand tyvm
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here’s a pic of me in the bathroom at the restaurant earlier btw. really really cute patio. good drinks!! my hair looked fucking crazy bc it was soooo humid. frizz fuckin cityyyyy!! can’t wait to go to my salon appointment on tuesday & be like “i want to look like a lion that somebody gave a trim to with kitchen scissors in the bathroom at a basement show except im so tired of cutting my own hair in the bathroom so that’s why im paying you to make it happen. please”
#i keep getting surprised how long it is. i have it up so much of the time now that when its down it’s just soo long#my hair hasn’t been this long since high school#also the poor stylist… it was in so many layers last time there’s split ends literally in every section of hair you can imagine#the whole thing is split ends. maybe i should just shave my hair again and start fresh. cancel the appointment#photo record#face tag#chatpost#also for the record i do have real hair scissors i don’t use kitchen scissors on my hair#i know what i’m doing im just tired of doing it by myself#on the other hand i also hate paying for it which is why i haven’t had a haircut in two years. lmao
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concept for one of the main/central characters of a possible webcomic I wanna start soon :)
#myart#She's a cutie!#I've been wanting to do this comic idea for YEARS now but i've always hesitated lol#partly bc... i've always imagined this character as biracial and I'm le very white and so... i'm at a crossroads atm LOL#like do I change the race of the character so I don't put myself (accidentally) in a situation where i'm canceled bc I might#mess up writing a black character??#OR do i risk having a black character as my main character. This is what i'm wrestling with atm lol#for clarification the story isn't ABOUT being black or the black american experience#but more she just.. happens to be a black character and I've always imagined her as black so 🫤 i'd rather NOT change her design/background#anyway. Maybe i should just choose a different story idea where the main character just... isn't a poc :/#but that feels like a cop out lol#but anyways. I'm enjoying working on this comic even if i'll probably chicken out doing it the way i want to :')#lol anyway feel free to ignore me i'm just rambling lol
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Ugh I have a problem with watching and liking cancelled shows. Like, let me be happy once. There's a reason I gave up tv. Anyway, shoutout to The Hollow for making me lose sleep, and write this at like 2 in the morning. Watch it if you haven't, but....
#the hollow#the babysitters club#anne with an e#I'm about to do myself dirty by watching dead end even though it's cancelled#like I watched the first episode liked it went about my life found out it got cancelled and was sad about it#the owl house#dc super hero girls#I can't win once???!#you couldn't even give me the hollow#atleast bluey wouldn't do me like that and by bluey I mean australian tv#we should just give australian tv all our animations so they don't get cancelled#renew the babysitters club#pleaseeeeee#please give me one show pleaseeeeeeeeeeee#dead end paranormal park
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I’ve come to expect that my dnd group will never be ready to run a game session nor are they interested in rescheduling
Still I shall hold out hope that my game next Sunday will be happening because if they all cancel the day before for the fourth time in a row
I may have to go Michael Myers on their asses
#can’t wait for all of them to cancel the hour before because they’re going Halloween shopping or some shit#as if they had no foresight into what their plans would be until the very moments before game time#I love my dm and I don’t think I could ever be mad at him#but the group I will absolutely bitch about because I’m neutral to all of them#cuz why did every single one of them cancel the day before our session was supposed to be last time#like they all knew they wouldn’t be able to make it and said nothing until the dm canceled first#one of them straight up hasn’t appeared for like 3 months#where is his ass and why did he disappear with no explanation#having a dnd hyperfixation when your group is this untrustworthy and inconsistent is not fun#I hate caring about things more than everyone else I should kill myself#dungeons and dragons#dnd
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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My ADHD is working so hard today to pull me into 7 different directions that not even my autism is enough to counteract it
#I want to consume these three books and immerse myself in this video essay of Much ado about nothing#and also rewatch a production of Hamlet#but I need to listen to the soundtrack of Good Omens and also understand the significance of Magritte's artwork#and how can I do that and read this comic book and this movie that Michael Sheen recommended#while also getting high on gender from all these photos of him in a wool three piece suit#that I can't emulate because it is TOO DAMNED HOT in Spain#also they're drilling the street outside my window and there's so much noise I had to lock everything up#and wear noise cancelling headphones#maybe I should just cancel the rest of the afternoon at go to sleep at 16:15#adhd
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#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised#or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna#make you deal with that#but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been#cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed#my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1#and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd#yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk#ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure#* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest#anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd#other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been#even longer since we could talk 1 on 1#like 2 weeks rip#maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip
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