#short sentences and not just rp as them basically lmao

[snobgoblin]

was thinking about how in Portia's route when you compliment her she just goes "I know!" (I think Mazelinka does the same thing actually...)

[someotherdog]

get to know the author!

name : velouria! mutuals can call me rachel if they want since it's my real name but i respond to both

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : i prefer tumblr im to start with so we can get to know each other and do some light plotting. then move onto discord for in-depth plotting if our personalities mesh well :)

most active muse :  i go through phases where i'll have a lot of muse for a certain few one week and then lose their voice the next week lol, and a lot of the muses i have are quite selective because their setting/personality is very specific and can sometimes be hard to tap into. generally, i'm always rarin' to go with jeannie, ingrid, lisa, gideon, heidi, vikram, and taher. (now actually getting people to rp with these hoes is the hard part lmao)

experience / how many years : i don't want to talk abt it... jk, i started in 2005 i believe? on myspace mainly and i lurked a few message boards back in the day but never actually used them. i wasn't always roleplaying though, i'd often take long breaks throughout the years, sometimes for months, but it's been a part of my life for a long time! after myspace shut down, i went on to roleplayer.me until 2015 when one day i saw an rpg promo in devon bostick's tag (that name's a blast from the past, i know) and i subsequently made the permanent switch to tumblr :) so you can pretty much consider me a veteran around these parts. i remember the days when people used the cast of one tree hill when it was actually currently airing as fcs (or playbys, as we called them) and every third muse was named seraphina!!!

best experience : i think one of the best times i had on here was during christmas 2015 in the rpg hell state bc it was very active and i had a lot of good storylines going! the best time i had on rp.me was the group verse i had for a knockoff of terra nova called alia terra, which i actually made into an rpg on here and then made a closed verse between lucia and i so we could continue some dino fun! but i did it on rp.me shortly before i made the switch to tumblr so i kinda roll that all into one. i mean don't get me wrong i've had some great experiences on here, and lately have been having an amazing time with my writing partners, new and old, but those two are events that stick out in my mind. and also meeting lucia in 2015 duhhh of course!!!!!!!

rp pet peeves : honestly i don't want to say bc i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or discourage people from writing with me lmfao, but i'll just say it has to do with dropping articles and using two certain french words 😬😬😬

fluff, angst, or smut : if i could crush up angst and snort it i would. i don't write smut (just a personal choice, not a judgment!) and fluff doesn't really interest me unless there's an undercurrent of angst or toxicity lmaooo, but i'm mostly interested in genre fiction like horror/slasher or sci-fi anyway and angst is kind of a package deal with those topics

plots or memes : i like to start with a general idea and then just kinda improvise. i also don't mind having structed plot points like going from a > b > c but having the freedom to do what we want in between those points. i also have absolutely no issue with changing or adding things as we go along! i'm basically very hype for anything

long or short replies : i'm a wordy bitch! when it comes to replies, i tend to stick with 2-4 for my 'shorter' threads but i have no issue getting up to 5-9 paragraphs if i'm really feeling something. no worries about matching length, btw, as long as it's not egregious like getting a few sentences in response when i wrote you four paragraphs, because i feel that's just rude. i also tend to start out small and get bigger as we go on, since i do like to begin with a general idea and add on from there

time to write : so before i started my current job, i only wrote at night because writing when the sun was up seemed morally wrong lmfao. nowadays, i sometimes write my replies at work on my google drive and then edit/format them once i get home, but that's only when i work alone and it's not super busy, and i actually have writing muse for that day. after work, i'll get on after midnight since i don't get home until late and need to put on my jammies, take off my makeup, eat dinner, and watch some tv. even on my days off, i most likely won't get on until late in the night because my family actually has the audacity to want to see me during the daylight hours 🙄

are you like your muses : i have a lot of muses that share similarities with myself, but i also have muses i have absolutely nothing in common with, like blair the satanic serial killer or lauren the son of a cult leader turned political campaign manager. more than likely they'll have something random from me like also being allergic to penicillin or they drive a buick like i do lmao, but i don't have a muse i would really consider my 'self-insert' character!

tagged by: @thewolfruns

tagging: i feel like everyone has been tagged to do this already?? so if you haven't, pretend i did so you can have some fun too :)

[queenaeducan]

Writing Tag Game

No one! I stole from @fiadhaisteach tho

How many works do you have on AO3?

43

What’s your total AO3 word count?

89067

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Healing Hands (3D NPC / Skyrim) F!Dovahkiin/Rumarin - 72 Kudos

The Difficult Things (DA2) Carver/Merrill - 46 Kudos 

All We Are is a Promise (DA:I) F!Cadash/Blackwall - 41 Kudos

Five Times Hugged (DA:I) F!Cadash & Solas - 22 Kudos

Pride in Compassion (DA:I) Cole & Soals - 20 Kudos

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Even if they’re just hearts or short comments. I don’t have too many comments and I want to encourage and appreciate the people who take the time to write them for me.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ummm “And My Heart Cannot Be” is probably the angstiest, it’s a response fic to Joly’s write-up of Ian’s personal quest where he’s made Tranquil (temporarily) at the end, so there’s a lot of angst on Solas’ part. Not so much on Ian’s, I suppose. :’)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Ummm, maybe “Apodyopis”? It involves Ian and Solas finding their boundaries in intimacy but overall it’s very soft and fluffy.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the strangest one you’ve written?

For fic, not really! I had the idea for a Doctor Who / Mass Effect fic years back when ME3 first dropped, but I never wrote it nor do I think a Doctor Who Crossover is particularly strange. Tumblr rp has led to some strange crossovers, and some not so strange. I’ve written with Star Trek characters on my Mass Effect rp blogs and then umm Final Fantasy XV might be the strangest I’ve written in Dragon Age rp, if only bc it was a crossover and not an AU.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I wrote a self-insert, modern girl falls into the AtLA world fic when I was still a preteen/teen and that got hate. I don’t remember what it said. And someone once accused me of “forcing solas” on the “male lavellan” I ship him with (Ian is non-binary and it literally said that in the art that prompted the anon hate, but I’ve learned people don’t read captions) and said it was “gross” lmao.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I’ve written it before, but not often. It’s not something that greatly appeals to me, I have some ideas for it atm but I have other projects I’m going to get to first.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, just had headcanons/interpretations stolen in RP.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I roleplay w/ ppl does that count. One day I might turn the Solian stuff into a multi-chapter fic and that’d need Joly’s input to be any good.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ATM it’s still Solas/Ian.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a fic that’s actually a series of short (like one sentence to five sentences) drabbles that spans most of Inquisition and Trespasser detailing moments Ian came to Solas’ mind that’s been a WIP for years, but idk maybe I’ll finish eventually.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m most confident in my dialogue, so when I’m unsure about that usually it’s a sign that I’m going to hate everything I write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I’ve never been able to write long-form, multi-chapter fics in my life. I have one planned for Solas and Thora and the only reason I think I’ll finish it is because it’s only going to be about five chapters. People who write like 20+ chapters amaze me.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ll write fictional ones, I’ll make up Elvhen or dwarven and even if it’s wrong or fake who cares it’s not a real language. Real languages I’m less keen on, I speak/spoke a few languages, if I were still practised in French I think I could manage that, but I haven’t kept up.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was either Hamtaro or Kirby! Right Back at Ya. I played pretend games where I made up OCs tho which was basically just the oral version of written fanfic/roleplay.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

ATM my favourite is “Who Am I in Your Arms?” which explores Solas and Ian after Wisdom’s death. Content warning for talk of suicide if you choose to read. I’ve struggled with wondering if it’s actually worth being proud of b/c it didn’t do great numbers esp on AO3, but I did a fair amount of research to get the head shaving done just right and I was able to incorporate a lot of my headcanons regarding Solas and how his relationship with Ian evolves as a result of the panic and grief involved in Wisdom’s passing.

Tagging: @apeacebone, @dreadfutures, @wizardofozymandias, @skyeventide @ other ppl who want to do this! 

[preempire-a]

[ was tagged in an OOC meme, so all that boring stuff is going under the cut. thanks a lot, @onehell-of-apilot! ]

———  BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡     lance

PRONOUNS! ♡     he/him

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡     year of the rat

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡     [dial up tones]

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

1! ♡     i have a shitty nailbiting habit

2! ♡     english is my 4th language. its rough and i keep a dictionary/thesaurus by me whenever i have to do any writing, and besides the general insecurity of not knowing if my sentences are correct (sentence structure in the languages i’m more comfortable with differ) i also... just. struggle with trying to make din’s dialogue sound both a) natural; and b) in-character. this usually translates to my sentences either being too long or too short and me not being able to cut them right. so sorry!

3! ♡     my default leaving-the-house outfit irl is always a superman t-shirt and jeans. like if i was a video game character that would be my permanent outfit configuration. now that we’re quarantined it’s a superman t-shirt and shorts but my point is. all i ever wear is superman. awful

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡     weibo, twitter, livejournal, insanejournal, dreamwidth, tumblr. at the moment i only write on dreamwidth and tumblr, and occasionally touch insanejournal when i want to do ~filthy smut things with OCs, lmao.

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡    males/masc nb

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡    i don’t know any of your western celebrities and can’t be arsed to have a “least favourite”

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡    single. i only have a multi sideblog for characters i wanna write w/o putting effort into info pages and the like

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF:   yeah it’s good. i’ve written more fluff on tumblr than i have anywhere else, which is pretty cool. it’s suited though, i think, since din is so often distressed in canon that it’s nice to write him in situations where he can actually take a moment to breathe. fluff is fun. i dig it.

ANGST:   i like angst as a means for catharsis caused by outside circumstances instead of personal drama between characters. personal drama can be fun but i tend to play characters who’d just speak up instead of letting stuff bubble beneath the surface... quite purposefully, really, so that i don’t have to rp personal drama that could be solved by communication. LOL. i’m also not too fond of grimdark stuff, but it depends on circumstances

SMUT:   i don’t write a lot of it on preempire because of din’s priorities in life, but i’m always down. smut experience has made it boring for me to write bottoms / switches, though, and in my own personal headcanon din prefers topping anyway. #thehelmetstayson. on other platforms i’ve written some pretty weird kink stuff, but i don’t have a lot of kink limits, lmao. it doesn’t have to be That Deep.

PLOT / MEMES! ♡     plotting for pre-established relationships, memes for everything else. i’m not good at plotting, and it’s more fun for me to roll where inspiration hits. honestly, from the other platforms i write on, i prefer jumping into threads just assuming pre-established platonic relations, but tumblr seems to have a thing about OOC contact always being preferred before doing anything (even if the thing isn’t that serious) so i don’t mind adjusting. ultimately, though, i’m down to just wing it. writing is more fun to me than making the best plot ever beforehand.

[beigewatcrs]

❝ task 001 ❞ ⋮ mun questionnaire 

name  /  alias : emily gender  /  pronouns : cisfemale ; she/her where  ya  from  ? : indiana — i hate it sm the  current  time : 10:30 pm starting this. 11:20pm finishing bc i got distracted lmao

height : 5 foot. 3 inches job  or  major : music therapy major ; teaching percussion at two high school marching band programs ; in a drumline for professional basketball team   pet  (  s  ) : two dogs — kendra and annie favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself : v many things, but probably my passion for music and change  any  special  talents  ? : idk if it’s special but i can play the two different four mallet techniques for percussion 

why  you  joined  hqclouds : i really wanted to play a canon chara and thought hqclouds had a v nice spin w/ the glitch and un - glitch idea and was super intrigued. 

meaning  behind  url : i usually do ‘skies’ or ‘waters’ at the end and add some word in front lmao. also in case i wanted to pick up another i could still use this url for a mumu blog 

last  thing  you  googled : kong wobbler for my dog in training lmao

birthday  /  zodiac : july 2nd ; cancer in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : omg YES  hogwarts  house : slytherin. woop woop

three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why : princess bean from disenchantment ; she’s determined and fights for what she wants/believes. nia nal from supergirl ; she can be levelheaded but when it comes down to it she also leads with her emotions. jenny from gossip girl ; i tried v hard to fit in with the populars when i was younger and then i basically said fck it and went off doing my own shit ( and making parents upsetti too oop )

i  started  roleplaying : i think i abt two years ago and then took a long break bc senior year needed a lot of attention for internships, job apps, and auditions. types  of  rps  i  enjoy : honestly it depends on what i’m feeling in the moment and what isn’t too generic/what many rps are doing favorite  fcs  to  use : love lulu and elliot fletcher rn, but i many i’d like to play but not enough time lmao fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : probably more animated ones bc i never have — like disenchantment and futurama lmao fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about : adventure time, steven universe, atla — honestly plan to watch all of these though, starting atla soon  

favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : penelope park and zoe rivas

canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love : o m g SO MANY. especially if they’re wlw  

i  prefer  .  .  .

angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff : i love fluff and angst sm, it’s hard to choose bc the plots can be so good  long  or  short  replies : i usually try to match what’s given to me?? maybe shorter in the beginning to get the ball rolling    pre  plotting  or  chemistry : pre - plotting for most things ; but i think chemistry is v important  sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : i haven’t done either in so long but probably headcanon memes lmao single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs : i just started my first mumu blog and LOVE it, just getting use to the tagging system lmao   gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : gif icons 

grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : he had forgotten about magic — he had forgotten that he was short and skinny and thirteen, whereas black was a tall, full - grown, man — all harry knew was that he wanted to hurt black as badly as he could and that he didn’t care how much he got hurt in return ; from harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban. i have read these books so many times and thought fitting during quarantine ( although i do not condone what j.k. rowling said )

what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : i’m just a tenant paying rent inside this body and i got two windows, well, i call them my eyes ; mind is a prison by alec benjamin

top  current  celebrity  crushes : omg this is so difficult but melissa benoist or naomi scott last  movie  you  watched : incredibles 2  did  you  like  it  ? : i love it sm favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : futurama, bobs burgers, super girl, the originals, legacies, and some others favorite  tv  show  that  hasn’t  ended : bobs burgers and super girl favorite  series  of  books  /  novels  /  comics : harry potter, the shadow children series, and ellen hopkins is a v good author sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : chicago blackhawks and boston bruins. go hockey. favorite  youtube  channels : rose and rosie ; amy ordman hobbies : pretty much anything with music lmao

put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? : smile — avril lavigne ; bang! — ajr ; good things fall apart ( stripped ) — illenium & john bellion ; untouched — the veronicas ; lay all your love on me — mamma mia version ( but i love abba too so ) ; more than ok ( acoustic ) — r3hab, clara mae, & frank walker 

dream  vacation  ? : anywhere w/ a beach or traveling through europe dream  job  ? : music therapist ; maybe starting my own practice or company  dream  car  ? : it changes almost weekly  if  i  could  live  anywhere  ,  it’d  be : boston or portland ( oregon ) or possibly germany favorite  musical : oliver ! coffee  order : so many different ones but ALWAYS ICED. i hate hot coffee 

what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : music therapy/percussion

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #250

"you’re so pretty, dripping sin.”

Do you plan on having children in the future? No. How big is your house? It's very small. Two bedroom, one bathroom. Do you believe that the world will actually end? Humanity, yes. The planet being inhabitable, probably at some point. The universe itself, life itself, won't, though. Describe your handwriting: Very fancy/fluid, a weird mix of cursive and print. Can you speak any other languages than your first language? Some German, but not a lot by now. I've lost a lot of memory of it. If you could speak another, which would it be? I wanna be fluent in German, but it's not something I pursue 'cuz I guess like... why. I don't think I'll ever really apply it to my life, nor is it something I'm DYING to do, so paying for classes just seems. Idk. What is one trend you think is stupid? I don't care. Let people enjoy things. Do you ever watch any soap operas? No. Do you ever get goodnight or good morning texts from people? Not usually. If I do, it's only ever Sara. When did you last go to the doctor and what for? I'm assuming you mean a general doctor, in which case, I think it was just a regular check-up a month or so back. Are you socially awkward? To a painful degree that I'm incredibly sick of. Can't be in a social situation and not feel uncomfortable even if it saved my ass. Would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? It would depend on my mood, but horror would usually win. Do you know where your family came from? Europe. If you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? Realistically, probably like, an elf or something 'cuz they're pretty unlike me so it'd be a nice change. :^) Where are both of your parents right at this moment? Mom's at church, and Dad is probably at home 'cuz it's Sunday. Have you ever seen a movie so ridiculous you couldn’t watch the rest? Yep. Does it make you angry when people text short messages back? If I'm seriously trying to have a conversation, it doesn't make me *angry*, just aggravated. What is your favorite animal and why? Meerkats. I could write a damn essay on why, but I'm not up for it, so basically, they are just extremely interesting animals with serious fire in a foot-tall body. Are you satisfied with your gender? Yeah. Have you ever kept a successful diary before? Not really. Well, I guess for short periods of time. I'd call them just "journals," though. It was something to do every time I stayed in the hospital, a good, insightful thing even, and just really at my lowest times, it helped me, but I never stuck to it. Are you good at admitting your problems? I think I'm very honest about them, really. Have you ever had a hangover? No. What is something you’re looking for in the next three months? I don't know. What’s something you normally cannot spell on your own? I have trouble with certain words where "e" or "a" could both easily be used (ex., "independEnce"), so I rely on spellcheck with words like those a lot. Looks or personality? Which is more important to you? Personality. Do you know any strippers? I don’t think so. How many times have you dyed your hair? Holy fuck idk. What is something that reminds you of your childhood? Cranium games. Do you think you eat healthy? I think I eat decently. Since I started paying attention to calories, I improved a lot. How would you describe your style of speech? Are you a fast/slow speaker? Do you stutter often? Generally, I think I speak quietly (but sometimes actually too loud, according to Mom) at a pretty normal pace, sometimes kinda fast, but I stutter a lot. When was the last time you’ve visited a family member’s house? What was the occasion? I haven't been to anyone's in a while... I think the last time was when I went to Ashley's to babysit my nephew a few months ago. Have you ever tried to construct a language? How do you feel about fictional languages (such as Dothraki and Klingon)? Not really. One of my old RP friends and I kinda-sorta had this "ancient meerkat language," but it was faaaar from developed. I don't feel any particular way about fake languages. Were you born and raised into a certain religion? What was it and have you changed your religion? Yes, Roman Catholicism. I've changed my religion quite a few times... Well, I don't like "changed." It just developed away from what was instilled in my head as a little kid. How do you usually feel when one of your favorite television or book series end? This doesn't apply to me really, because I haven't been involved in those things for a long time. The only one that I really cared about/was watching when it was current content was Meerkat Manor. I was sooooo so bummed out. That show had such, such, SUCH a colossal impact on my life. What do you like most about your town or neighborhood? Nothing. Well, it's small. Are you looking forward to any upcoming events? I'm obviously anticipating Mom starting chemo this week, but also very nervous. I don't want to see the physical toll it takes on her. What were your first impressions on your current best or closest friend? Lmao it's still funny to this day to me, our start... I just didn't like her. I thought she was over-dramatic and attention-crazed. What would you do if you knew a person that you were not fond of or even disliked, but they considered you as a friend? Would you confront them, avoid them, etc.? "I wouldn’t confront them unless something happened that made it come to a head. I’d try to be civil yet non-committal. It would also depend how I knew them and how much I had to interact with them." <<<< This. It doesn't seem necessary to just randomly walk up to this person and be like "hey you know you're not my friend, right?" Just leave it be unless something occurs where it seems more relevant. What are some things that you do to make you feel relaxed? Listen to music, nap... How often to do go to concerts? What was your favorite experience so far? Not even nearly enough because 1.) I'm not in a position where I can afford tickets and 2.) NO good bands like, ever come here. We only ever have country bands. The only concert I've been to was Alice Cooper, which was great. What is your newest and/or current passion? Newest, uhhhh. Idk man. I have a lot of current passions, but none surpass the Blazing Inferno of Love in my heart for Mark Edward Fischbach. Do you still have a fear that you had held since childhood? If not, how did you overcome one or more of your childhood fears? Yes, dolls. It's really mild now, but still, I really don't like porcelain dolls. What is your favorite type of weather? In general, a moderate snow. To actually be in, ohhhh man, gimme that cool, crisp fall air with a partly cloudy sky, very little to no breeze, depending on how cool it is. Do you watch documentaries? If so, do you have a particular favorite? I love animals docs. Meerkat Manor is of course my favorite. Is there a particular sentence or line from a book that carries a deep meaning to you? What is that sentence/line and why does it speak to you? I'm sure there is, but none immediately come to mind. When's the last time you ate bread? A couple days back for a sandwich. What's the last movie you watched on your own? UHHHHHHHH I think it was The Shining. Great movie, so glad I finally watched it. What about the last movie you watched with another person? Now this I'm unsure about, but I want to say The Lion King (live action) with Dad. What about the last movie you saw at the cinema? Was it good? ^ It was fucking great. I mean maybe I'm biased because it's my favorite movie, but either way, the hate it got shocked me. I know people were upset about like "oh they looked so emotionless" but like... they're animals made in the most realistic portrayal possible. I thought that was very cool. Do you attend school, college, or uni? I'm a college student. What do you study, wherever you study? Photography. What industry do you want to be a part of when you’re older? At least SOMETHING with art, or even animal rescue and conservation. How many girls can you trust? Like, two. What about guys? Also probably two, maybe three. How do you earn your keep? I don't. I don't/can't work (at least right now) and my disability case was just denied for the second time, so, y'know, I'm basically a leech. If you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be? Not including English? German, Japanese, and Spanish, for convenience's sake. Who do you usually text the most? My mom or Sara. Baths or showers? Showers; baths gross me out. Cheese or tomato? Noooot a tomato fan, so. At least I like some cheese. Shaved legs or shaved arms? ??? I mean I think shaving your legs is more noticeable, but I don't care. I'd only ever shave my legs (I mean unless I had a good reason to shave my arms?), but shave whatever you want, dude. How many coats do you own? One winter coat. What about shoes? A handful, though I only ever wear my sneakers or flip-flops, lol. One word to describe your most recent ex? A soldier. Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? I will only ever fully eat scrambled eggs. Boiled, I'll only eat the whites. Fuck yolk, shit's gross. Have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? No. Where, in your current cournty, would you like to live, other than where you do now? Western NC, in the mountains. It's beautiful. Where wouldn’t you want to live? Several places, like North Korea. Do you like snow? I'm a kid when it comes to snow, I love it. Have you always got good grades? Up until college, I did... Do you like sheer clothing? With something under it, yes. List four things about your facial appearance: 1.) It's this really weird mix of dry as hell and oily; 2.) I have blue/gray eyes; 3.) I wear large, black-rimmed glasses; and 4.) I have a vertical labret in my bottom lip. List four things about your general appearance: 1.) I'm fat even though I've worked my fucking ass off to keep losing weight for two years now :^); 2.) I have some but certainly not enough tattoos and piercings; 3.) I'm very pale; and 4.) I have very short, brown hair that needs to be dyed immediately. List four things you like about yourself: 1.) I'm extremely empathetic; 2.) I care a fucking LOT about the people I love; 3.) I'd say I let myself fall kinda easily, yet I'm resilient as shit and will always get back up; and 4.) I'm extremely open-minded and capable of considering a whole lot. List four things you dislike about yourself: 1.) MY GOTDAMN WEIGHT; 2.) my teeth are too yellow for my liking (I've been exceptionally self-conscious of that lately as I've used whitening strips); 3.) I'm extremely impulsive with what I say and do when I'm seriously upset; and 4.) I will, without fail, jump to the worst possible conclusion in any and all situations. List four of your favorite TV programs: 1.) Meerkat Manor; 2.) That '70s Show; 3.) Fullmetal Alchemist (+Brotherhood); and 4.) Deadman Wonderland. List four of your favorite foods/drinks: 1.) Mountain Dew Voltage is my absolute worst enemy; 2.) I will ANNIHILATE the spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden; 3.) the shrimp & cheese quesadillas from Mexican restaurants are not safe either; and 4.) pizza is, of course, rather gucci. Cats or dogs? Idk, I really like both. Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? Hunty I live in NC, that doesn't happen here. Are you hungry right now? No. What do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo? Dude, I love that. Cherish every moment with each other. Make memories, freeze them in pictures. Can you work the microwave? Well, considering it's the only thing I cook in and we've had the same one my entire life (ours is extremely old/can't be bought anymore and is SERIOUSLY durable with time, apparently, as it works perfectly), I know it well. Can you work the washing machine? Heh. Not really... embarrassing as that is. My mom does both of our laundry together, so... but I should seriously still know. She's shown me a few times, but with how abominably horrid my memory is, I forget again and again. There's too many options. Do you like your photo being taken? NO. Have you ever got into a club, whilst being underage? Never been to a club period. How many magazines do you buy a month? None. How many of them are car-related? "If I did, they certainly wouldn’t be car related. That doesn’t interest me at all." <<<< Big same. What about fashion? Well, I'd like ones that offered alternative clothing choices that you could order. Any celeb gossip ones? Ew. What pets do you have? We're about to have only two: my snake Venus and cat Roman. With Mom's cancer diagnosis and both chemo and surgery coming along, she simply can't handle our dumb dog anymore. He's needed to go for a LONG time, so we're trying to find a new home for him. Last gig you went to? Still Alice Cooper. Next gig your going to? Should Ozzy still have his concerts like he wants to after his treatments in Sweden or wherever it is, most likely him. Mom and I planned to, and we will absolutely go if he reinstates them. I'm completely understanding if this doesn't happen though; he has to take care of himself, the poor 'ole man. Bless him. Life's a cruel bitch, giving a legendary singer Parkinson's (it's going to disable him from singing with time). Favorite color? Pink! o: Are you regularly tired? Only always, my friend. Are you excited to live on your own? Completely alone, no. I know it would be extremely unhealthy for me with depression and becoming so easily lonely and unmotivated without encouragement and companionship of some sort. I'll have to live with a spouse. Even then, I'm nervous about it. Living with Jason and our friends in that apartment was both a good and very bad experience; it taught me a good deal of independence, but I still found it very stressful. When do you plan on moving out? When I've been in a long-term, healthy relationship. Do you daydream? Only all the time. Do you dream at night? More like have nightmares/terrors almost nightly. BUT! They've actually chilled some the past few days!! I don't recall what the dream was (but I'm 90% sure Mark was in it, A SHOCKER), but I woke up laughing hysterically recently, Mom told me. So that could only be a good sign. When you’re sick, do you like to be pampered, or left alone? A mix, but mostly the former honestly. Halp pls. But I also want my time to sleep. Are you superstitious? Nope. How many pictures are in your wallet? Ohhh I'm actually not sure. I know I have a handful of my nieces and nephews. I need one of Emerson now. If someone cries while watching a sad movie..do you laugh at them? ???? That is so insensitive???? No???? How often do you change your sheets? I'm... not sure, actually? I know at LEAST once a month (which probably isn't enough), but possibly another time? Idk, I don't pay attention. I just do when I feel it's time to. Is you bedroom upstairs or down? We only have one floor. Is it true blood is thicker than water? Nope. If you could wish someone out of your life... who would it be? Well, he's not *literally* a part of it, but Jason, as far as in my head. Remembering him, sudden memories, flashback prompts, all that jazz are very much daily events. Truly, it doesn't *really* affect me much anymore, it's just so "normal," but it would certainly be grand if he wasn't the most staple person in my head. If you could be with anyone in the world..famous or not..who would it be? HUNNY SWEET CHILD- Are you high maintenance? Nope. If you could change one thing in the world... what would it be? PEACE. JUST PEACE. No war, no violence in general, just. Handle shit like mature adults. If you could star in any movie... which would it be? None. I'm too self-conscious of myself to be in a movie, and I'm a horrible and extremely awkward actress. If you could live in a fairy tale..which would it be? "Alice in Wonderland." <<<< 100% 100% 100%. If you could live in the past..where would it be? The '80s, baby!! If you could see only one person right now..who would it be? Ugh, Sara. I've missed her to death and desperately wanna hang out. Do you wear shoes in the house? No sir. Do you dream in color or black and white? YO! I only recently learned this is a thing with some people, but I dream in color. What is your favorite accent? British. Do you write poetry/songs/stories? Poetry, occasionally. Stories, well, you could easily consider RP that, as we're all collaboratively writing many. Do you wear socks with sandals? gtfo of here with that shit Would you marry for money? HA, no. Do you have any “in the mood” music you like to listen to? AHAHA YES I'M SORRY. Would you vote for a woman president? "If she was a good candidate in my own personal opinion, yeah." <<<< "This. I want to vote for someone who I feel can do the best job. Their gender has nothing to do with it." <<<< Ditto. Are looks/appearances really important? For me personally, not really. Like yes, it's nice to feel physical attraction towards your love interest, but it's a very, very little factor for me, if at all. When you die, do you want to be cremated or buried? Please just cremate me. I really don't wanna be buried. Just taking up space. Do you like to play video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to, though I wish I did... I think I've watched way too many let's plays to where I can enjoy just fine watching YTers I like experience the game, and I do secondhand while getting some good laughs. Do you like Final Fantasy? Which one do you prefer of all? Oh my god, I wish I was more involved in that series, as I know how madly beloved it is. I used to be obsessed with the demo for FFVIII; my sister, brother, and I would play it like mad, but only Bobby could beat it. The final spider-like boss of the demo was fuckin impossible. I did play a lot of FFVII, which I adored, it was just... so long and by maybe over halfway through, I just drifted from it. I need to watch a playthrough of it, honestly, because the story was so captivating and I genuinely would love to witness how it ends. Have you ever caught on fire? WOW no thank fuck. Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah, but I don't really make stuff anymore. I don't have Vegas on this computer and honestly I'm just not motivated to really make videos. Do you ever go to video game arcades? No. :( Do you care what people think of you? In most cases, VERY MUCH. Not always, though, but it STRICTLY depends on the situation, big time. Like, I'll walk into Wal-Mart in my pj's np, but there are just a lot of things where I will seriously care too much. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. I had one teacher that ALL the girls thought was super attractive, but I definitely didn't have a crush on him... and then later he got fired for sexual relations with one of the students. OOF. Do you like Lady Gaga? I don't mind her, usually. She's got some good jams. "Bad Romance" is legendary. Do you think you have been in love before? Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly in love, friends. Do you like Edgar Allan Poe? Love him! Have you ever gotten hit on by some creeper? Oh god yeah and it was awful. Do you bless random people when they sneeze? Yep. Do you have a short temper? No. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yes. Do you go to Barnes and Noble for books, the library or someplace else? I go to Books-A-Million. Do you have an iPad? Nope. Are you scared to die? Yes and no. It's the unknown of what comes after that makes me apprehensive. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go. Do you think you draw well? I honestly think I draw decently. Have you ever wanted to be a meteorologist? No. Do you like Taylor Swift? Not really, and DEFINITELY not newer stuff, but I will rock hardcore to "Picture To Burn," "Safe and Sound" is positively beautiful, and "Love Story" used to be my favorite song at one point.

[genjkitty]

About Me

Basics

Name: Malakai

Nickname: Mal

Are you over 18?: Yes

Is your muse?: Yes

Writing

Are you selective about who you write with on this blog?

Not too sure yet, but I probably will be semi selective.

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon?

Lmao canon Overwatch ain’t really a thing

What post lengths do you write?

I am pretty short to moderate. It really depends on who I’m with and how well it’s going. I’m not the shortest person, but I’ve definitely seen longer

Do you use icons and/or gifs?

No, maybe once in a hundred years because I understand some things are just really had to describe

Do you write on other platforms?

I started out on Quotev, but it’s been a while since I’ve written anywhere. Hoping to get back into it

How quickly do you usually respond to threads?

I’ll try my best to respond within 24 hours, I may be faster or shorter though,,

What types of themes do you like? (feel free to add!)

Fluff is nice, smut occasionally, but I’m open. It’s been a while so we’ll see

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (not triggers?

Mostly rap3 (or non-con), inc3st, and ped0philia

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

Yeah, s3lf harm, rap3, you know, the usual triggers. I request it be talked about beforehand

Shipping

What types of relationships are you open to?

Any, as long as it doesn’t break what I said before ^^

Do you have OTPs?

McGenji, which is probably what I’ll be doing the most

Do you have NOTPs?

Mc/Hanz0. Just.. no. Mccree wouldn’t like Hanz0 due to them both being alpha males, plus he tried to kill someone he trained in deadly situations with...

What is your muse’s orientation?

Bisexual

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically?

Hmm, it depends on what we have going. Genji is flirty, but that doesn’t mean he opens up quickly

Are you open to polyshipping?

If discussed properly, sure. Haven’t done it though, so not sure if I’ll do this right away

Munday Questions!

What is it that compelled you to play your Muse?

I absolutely adore him and can relate to him. Because Overwatch doesn’t have a whole lot of canon, I relate to the fanart people draw of him.

Is there a different Muse you’d rather play?

I’ve never really liked having a muse as canon, it always felt like godmodding to me. It’s different since, again, OW doesn’t really have a lot of lore lol

Who was your first Tumblr RP Muse/URL?

Genji is my first lmaooo

Who did you play in your first RP?

I played an OC in Warrior Cats! Her name was/is Riverwhisper, a shy, sleek white cat with grey-blue classic tabby markings

What’s an RP Pet Peeve?

When you type out like two whole ass paragraphs and they respond with like two sentences...

Who do you wish your Muse could interact with?

Mccree mcreemccreemccreemccree I mean I’m not really sure,, never really thought about it

Why did you start RPing?

I was honestly bored and looking for a way to fill my love for writing.

How long have you been RPing?

Since I was around 12, but I took a break for a few years

[the-little-prophet]

BDRP Questionnaire 2019

Posting this on Charlie since I actually talked about him quite a bit! Let’s gooooo

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Kiara, Nala, Andrina, Merida, Charlie, Apollo, John, Su, Ashleigh, Nemo, Jun

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

This one goes out to Charlie. I pitched Charlie very deceptively-- claiming he was a prophet, aligning him, at first, with Calliope, making it look like Charlie’s magic was of the classical, Cassandra-inspired kind. But all along, I knew that what I wanted Charlie to be was more of this sci-fi/fantasy blend as an homage to his movie’s sci-fi bend too. This year, I got to actually reveal that Charlie is a time traveler after two years!! This is very exciting for me! I’ve enjoyed being able to lean into Charlie’s new image systems with this reveal, even though I’m out of my depth and breaking like 67 different time travel rules, probably lol. Still, it’s been great to take him to that place, and to invent Future-Charlie as both a deux ex machina and an expression of identity/choice/free will etc etc. I did not have Future-Charlie in mind when I created Charlie, so that was something I was proud of coming up with!

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year?

I’m going to talk about Nemo if only because everyone else feels like a spoiler lol. Nemo, as a relatively new character though, is still full-speed-ahead on his initial goals that I outlined for him in his application. Now that Nemo’s been established in the school and he has this little group of buddies, I want:

To focus on his wing. I want Nemo to push himself, get himself in a spot of trouble, potentially injure himself.

Reveal his wings to at least one mundus friend

Continuing to infuse his posts with body image issues. This is a slow build kind of plot that really is like...the broth of Nemo’s plot-soup, lol, while training for his placement is the chicken and belonging at school is the noodles….it needs to be this throughline more than like, para a, para b, para c. at least for now.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.

I could pick a lot of threads here lol it’s honestly so HARD. But I think I want to shout-out to the Charlie/Jim first kiss thread because it surprised even me and Hannah. We initially planned for the first kiss to be just that-- one kiss, then we done, Jim and Charlie go on to be friends. But like in the best of cases, Jim and Charlie’s palpable chemistry actually informed more of Charlie’s arc and opened up avenues previously closed to me/Charlie since Charlie had been so SHUT to the idea of love. So! I really loved that thread. Also because like, I literally made Charlie experience the big bang after his first kiss. And THAT’S the BEST way to use magic in my opinion. Like when you can infuse magic with an emotional catharsis-- I think the other time I did that super well was similar actually, when Herc kissed Kiki’s cheek and she grew a tree in his room lol. So yeah! Some of my best writing in that thread, amazing chemistry, big surprises. It was an absolute pleasure.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

-Image systems. I dragged myself for this, but I think it’s something that really helps me find a character’s voice and make myself excited to RP them! Also, I think it’s what people like about my writing sometimes. Maybe. IDK, lol. -Complex Emotion: I’m stealing this from my mentor who said I’m good at creating complex emotion and so you know its true. My most introverted characters get the bulk of this naturally--they are introspective and feely and give themselves the space to think and feel. But I really want to try to inject more into my extroverted characters. I think I’m doing well for Nemo, who had undiagnosed anxiety and so that informs a lot of his personality in very interesting-- very OPPOSITE-- ways as Berlioz; Nemo struggles with being alone because ‘alone’ means he gets too in his head. That’s been really fun for me and why he’s quickly become one of my fave voices to write (I know, u all thought it was because I am in love with Jimin (true), but no its bc Nemo is an anxious, big feeling baby and he’s always so Alive to me, plus i was made to write a fairy it was always my destiny.)

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

-Dialogue: PERSONALLY I feel like I’m not great at dialogue. Some posts are better than others and I think I’m good at like…..texting dialogue? IDK. I feel like I struggle in paras though to craft good dialogue. It’s just, rn, average dialogue. Of course not every post needs to have hilarious, punchy, great dialogue. But do my characters sound different? Am I doing all I can to create rhythm and speech patterns? -Filtering: Im being very picky rn, because actually I don’t do this too much, but I do it enough where I’m like, I gotta go read some really stellar writers adn ban myself from using “Feel” and “think” for like a whole month. What I’m talkinga bout is like: Ber realized/ Ber thought / Ber knew. That kind of writing is totally fine, but that’s about it. I need to come up with more creative ways to talk about feelings and abstract concepts!!!

-Character: I know everyone is probably like………….how dare lauryl put this here. But listen. I don’t think I struggle with character on RP. But outside of RP? Oh boy! The THING about RP is you MUST create a character, that’s your vessel for writing here, and so you do all that development plus u got the four years of worldbuilding informing that character, and literally EVERYTHING CHARACTER DRIVEN ITS...THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.  Outside of RP though I think I have struggled because my natural affinity is worldbuilding and shit like that. I’m type 5 baby, I am attracted to characters who let me poke at things I don’t know anything about, like even Jun, part of it really is like, petitions and grocery store management lmfadsofij. SOOOo idk I just need to be able to focus on crafting characters that are compelling vessels for the cool shit I like to do outside of RP.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. JOHN DARLING BREAKS INTO FAERYLAND 1. Call Down the Hawk/Raven Cycle: It’s no coincidence that my reread of Raven Cycle last winter played a pretty big part in inspiring this new version of John. The descriptions of the magical forest Cabeswater and the hunt for Glendower have the same kind of contemporary fantasy vibe that I really like for John. And of course, Ronan’s dream magic is very much intertwined with the faery realm feeling like a dream (and Ashleigh, obviously, as a dark faery who can manipulate them). More than that though, the attention paid to the psyches of each character and how they drive the plot forward is just… /chefs kiss. 2. The Mabinogian: I want to draw from these classic Welsh/British stories and incorporate them in creative ways! Or just as, like, motifs are something. :) I have tried to do this but would like to be a lot more intentional, instead of just being like lmao let me look up some random shit for this one reply~ 3. The Hazel Wood: This book deals with characters coming into the real world from a book world! This kind of goes along with the Mabinogian as I kind of ish want to do something similar, only treating the Mabinogian as a historical, cultural text as opposed to a fiction. This book also focuses a lot on fairy tale tropes (like numbers) which I really want to incorporate in John’s stuff. I want to ideally write some of my own fairy tales-- I have one in mind actually through Ashleigh but it’s related to John too since he’d the scholar of said stories.  

And now, a wishlist!

-Exploring Nemo’s disability. This is slightly challenging for me since we don’t have many fairies, but I’m brainstorming some ideas and hope to really kick it off in January, leading up to his Talent Placement Test.   -I really want to have a lot of town-centric plots for Jun. Would love to rp with the police officers! I want to have Jun try to get some ppl arrested tbh ahah, like, Fflew for loitering, or maybe reporting Mitte. I would love some arch nemeses tbh-- Mitte does seem like a good one. AND I want to submit at least three petitions next semester!! Maybe i should make that two!! Still!! -Do some Bonfamille plots. I already have something I’m really excited about and have already planned here so this is a teaser… -Keep writing essays. The fairies have been great, getting me really inspired to do these.What’s been an amazing mental exercise, and why I cannot stop writing these, is thinking about how the political philosophy of Pixie Hollow informs how it functions: technically, socioculturally etc. It’s really fun for me to basically build a communist thought project and then enact it for real. I feel like I’m learning a lot about...well, societies, lol, and how the material factors endlessly bleed into, and shape, ideas and beliefs (and vice versa). Also, I literally have to do these because when Nemo is IN the Hollow and I want to write him getting a glass of water, I’m faced with a lot of technical questions: do fairies have running water? Does he have to get it from a stream? How do they keep things cool? Etc etc. And that’s why I go off on these, and I’m excited to keep doing them, as many as I can, with feedback from my fellow fairies. Also, do want to do ones that are NOT fairy related, so we’ll see about that. -Write John backstory. He’s gone on a few other adventures and I’d like to actually one-shot those maybe lol. -Alternate Charlie Timeline: This is something that’s bopping around in my head and I haven’t found the perfect way to make it happen, but I want Charlie to travel to an alternate version of his life and get stuck. When I figure out the right way to do this, my partners will also get to rp alternate versions of their characters lol. That’s fun right!! Of course it is, we do it all the time with AUs, but this one obvi be more personal and more closely tied to canon.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP? First and foremost, I RP because it’s writing for the sake of writing-- joy for joy. I think this is even more important this year as I’ve had to focus on mentorship writing outside of RP. RP became the place where I didn’t have to think so hard about making everything make sense, lol. It gave my brain a break so I could be less judgmental of myself and just have fun and do the most ridiculous stuff...and some of my fave stuff iS ridiculous because of that...like Nemo and Sindri making flower crowns or the ASC nonsense. It’s this kind of light, fluffy, low-stake (but still High Stake) stuff that provided me endless joy when I needed it the most. Second of all, I RP because I really want to invest in people’s creative energy. I think doing so gives back to myself. Building canon, helping people brainstorm, seeing people grow-- I feel like a proud mom when I get to have this kind of mentorship role myself. I talked to MK about this, but even though Sam left to go off and do greater things, that’s like-- to me, it was a lot like he was graduating from this weird BDRP school I’ve helped create. I felt nothing but pride and happiness for him and really felt like, if BDRP was to explode tomorrow, I ACHIEVED the thing I set out to do when, four years ago, I sat on my computer and drafted BDRP’s mission and vision and committed myself to this admin role. And THAT’S what I want ideally-- for BDRP to be this collaborative place that doesn’t focus too much on what makes sense, on sitewide plots that force people into roles. I have always wanted plots like ASC and John’s search for Excalibur to be able to exist side by side, and I think we’ve done that. Now we just have to tend this garden, don’t we, haha? May BDRP bear many delicious fruit.

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Will you ever tell the story of that person and what happened?

Technically there were 2 people, the first one was super bad and our relationship lasted for 4 years, the 2nd person only lasted about 9 months, because when she started showing signs of being abusive I gave her 1 chance to y’know, not take all her anger out on me and drop-kick me right in my insecurites again, and when she did it again without remorse I told her to please get therapy and noped out bc I literally could not deal with that again.

I actually wasn’t planning on it bc I didn’t know anyone wanted to hear it but?? I can??? Story is under the cut, be warned, it’s uh very long and kinda depressing?? and has mentions of my ED and suicidal thoughts and self harm and emotional abuse and panic attacks and all that so, ye. All the trigger warnings.

Note: I’m going to leave a few things out because I really don’t want to talk about them. But most of it’s gonna be here.

I met my first abuser online when I was 14, on a site called Quotev (basically just a writing and quiz site, I’m sure you’ve seen it around.)

Up until that point, I wrote almost every day (with the exception of writer’s block which everyone has, y’know.) I would write from 7AM till I went to bed at 9PM pretty much. I was having the time of my life. I only had mild anxiety (mostly social) and no sign of depression. But I was also home-schooled and didn’t really like interacting with people, so I had never really had friends or deep extended social experiences. In short, I was very happy, very eager to please, and very, very naive. I saw only the good in people and didn’t know any better.

My abuser was a girl, 2 years older than me, so she was 16 when we first met. She was Canadian (lmao don’t trust stereotypes.) For this story, I’m going to call her E, yeah?

So, E and I met when a complimented one of her quizzes. We started RPing (role-playing) together, in a LOTR world. Everything was great. I looked forward to talking to her, and we talked every single day. She quickly became my best friend. Since I was so eager to please and just wanted to make my favourite person happy, I would compliment her a lot and try to help her get over her insecurities. To me, she was perfect, and I wanted her to know that. I developed a crush on her, obviously.

Soon, due to some nerfs the mods had made on the site, she decided that we should move to Skype and RP via email. A few weeks after that, RPing and talking to her took up so much time I didn’t really have the time to be on the site at all anymore. I gave all my other (healthy) friends on there a stupid excuse as to why I was “taking a break” and then left without a word for 3 years. I’ll always regret that, it was a dick thing to do, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Because I thought that’s what best friends did for each other, made them priority. Like I said, I was extremely naive.

Now that I was isolated, things started to change, very subtly. If I ever seemed to be having too much fun in an RP, she would “forget” to reply to my part, only replying to the part about her. When I got confused and asked her, she blamed it on her ADHD, and since I didn’t have it, I couldn’t exactly call her out. 

She always picked the RPs we did for the day. She always had her ideas in the RPs. If I ever suggested an RP, we would do it for about 20 minutes before she wanted to do one of hers, or she got bored, etc etc. She also LOVED Angst. I mean, an unhealthy amount of angst. She would start at LEAST 2 new RPs every day and every SINGLE one would be angsty. Every. Single. One.

She wanted to RP smut with me but back then I was very uncomfortable with it. Still, she pushed, so eventually I gave in and did it. Then I found out I actually really liked to write smut and asked her more often, but suddenly she didn’t like smut and wouldn’t do it. Because I liked it. And it was something she knew she could control me with, but I had no idea.

We - or should I say, I - would write drabbles for her, sometimes based on RPs, sometimes just ideas I had. I would write at least one (around 2 pages) for her every day, occasionally multiple drabbles a day. 99% of them were all angst btw. There’s only a limited amount of angst ideas out there but I managed. Bc I wanted her to be happy. For every, 20(???) drabbles I wrote her, she would write me one. That would be half a page long. Eventually she started saying things like “is that it?” or just wouldn’t say anything when I sent her the daily drabble, and when I asked if she’d liked it she just said “yeah” and move on to talking about what she wanted to RP for the day.

If I ever said anything she didn’t like, or annoyed her, she would just stop talking to me, completely cold shoulder, until I got frantic and started begging her to talk to me again and I would write something for her to make up for it.

If I actually gathered all my courage to ask her if she could write me something, she would yell at me and curse at me and call me selfish and tell me that I KNEW she was going through so much shit with her bad family (though now I actually doubt her family was bad at all because anything she vented about actually just sounded very petty and not the crushing stuff she made it out to be??) and her mental health and how she was TRYING. And when I apologized about 10 times she finally let it go and said that she would “put what I wanted on the list” and “try to write it” when she could. (Spoiler alert: I never got a single thing from that list. But she did write herself 15 pages of content in 2 hours and showed me all of it. So it wasn’t like she couldn’t write. She just wanted to write for herself.)

Even when she DID write me something she wouldn’t write anything I wanted, it would be angst like she liked and it would STILL somehow be about her, not me.

Almost every single day she would be having a bad day, because she knew if she told me that I would do anything she said to make her feel better. If I ever had a bad day, she would just say “that sucks” and move onto talking about RPs or herself and how she was having an even shittier day. She would be short-tempered and constantly be on the brink of shutting me out or blowing up at me. I felt like I was walking on eggshells constantly and I had to second-guess everything I said and did because I didn’t want to upset her. If I made a mistake in an RP (bc of course we both had different ideas of how things looked or what placement things were in) she would laugh and tease me about it even when I told her it was hurtful.

At this point, I was talking to her all day, every single day. From 9AM when I got up, often till 2AM or even later because she always found a way to keep me up, either by having something bad happen or just because she “missed” me. I was exhausted and the constantly anxiety of watching everything I did and trying so hard not to get yelled at just made it worse. Literally from the SECOND I woke up, I would be hit by a wave of dread and anxiety so strong I’d feel physically sick and dry heave at the idea of eating anything. I would go out to my computer and log in and pray and pray it was going to be one of her good days. Occasionally (and I mean, once every few months) it would be, we would have a great fun day where everything was equal and if I was really lucky she would write me something (I would end up having to write her 2 or 3 things to make up for her writing 1 thing but at least I got something!) Because of how anxious I was the relief that it was going to be a good day was like an actual fucking high, which only made the fun better. Most of the time though, it wasn’t a good day, and my stomach would drop, I can’t really express to you how much fear and dread I felt on those days, anyone who has been in a similar relationship will know what I mean.

I felt so, so worthless. I wasn’t worth any effort, I wasn’t worth anything. Every good thing I tried to do was either not enough, or I ended up fucking it up and upsetting her. I deserved to be yelled at or have things taken away from me because I was the one who messed up I apologized in every other sentence for every single thing I did just to try and stave off the yelling if it irritated her. Because I felt so sick from anxiety all the time and because I wanted to have SOME form of control, I started to restrict my eating, more and more over time. Because I was constantly anxious and thus extremely physically tense, I started getting awful headaches and ended up taking pills to dull them every day. Unsurprisingly since I was taking them every day, I got addicted to the pills and whenever I didn’t take them I got migraines and felt even sicker. If I had a migraine and physically couldn’t be online bc I couldn’t see the screen, she would send me messages upon messages, sometimes getting up into the hundreds asking me where I was and why I wasn’t online.

She would always say she loved me and that I was pretty and that I was her favourite person, but when I finally, finally was done enough to tell her outright that she made me feel worthless, she just said “you’re not worthless” and then changed the subject. I should mention that we had our own kind of unspoken language with emojis and the way we wrote. For example, if she made a smiley like this :D it was genuine, but if she made it like this :) it was passive-aggressive and meant that I’d done something to annoy her and every time I saw it I would immediately start panicking and trying to think of what I could have done wrong. (I still have a jolt of panic to this day lmao embarrassing.) And if she sent no emojis at all it meant I’d really pissed her off. So when she sent the “you’re not worthless” without any emojis and immediately changed the subject, it meant that she didn’t want to hear that and that it made her really angry.

If I ever liked a fictional character and wanted to RP with them, she would make me ship them with her just so I knew they were hers and I couldn’t have them, so now I have a very hard time getting attached to canon characters.

Writing, a thing I had always loved and enjoyed more than anything in the world, the only thing I thought I was really good at, became a job - not even a job, because I had no reward. It became a chore. Something I dreaded and even hated. I didn’t want to waste energy and inspiration on writing things for my own enjoyment when I should have been writing a drabble or two for her. Sometimes I tried to write a bunch in one day so I could have a few days of blissful rest until I’d used them all up and had to start again. If I didn’t write for her, I’d get the cold silence. And since writing was my therapy and way of venting all my emotions, and I wasn’t writing anymore for those reasons, my feelings just stayed inside me and rotted. To this day, a whole year and a few months later, my writing is STILL not back on track.

NOTE: YES, THIS IS WHY I AM SO PROTECTIVE OF MY FRIENDS WITH IMAGINES BLOGS. BECAUSE THE WAY THEY DESCRIBE BEING BURNT OUT AND FEELING LIKE THEIR WRITING IS WORK IS EXACTLY HOW I FELT. AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL GOOD PEOPLE WITH AMAZING WRITING TALENT AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME HAPPEN TO THEM.

At the end, I started thinking about killing myself. I couldn’t cut bc in summer time I had a lot of bare skin showing and so I didn’t have anywhere I could really hide cuts from my parents. My ED and the hunger pains where my only form of self harm and that just wasn’t enough anymore. So I started accumulating a stash of pills under my mattress. I was squeamish and didn’t want to die by slitting my wrists. I knew I’d need a lot of pills bc I had built up a tolerance to them so I kept steadily collecting, taking them here and there where I knew my parents wouldn’t notice (my Mum has chronic pain and takes pills regularly, which is why I had to be sneaky.)

I only got out of the relationship because I started having full-blown hyperventilating, sobbing, borderline screaming mental breakdowns out of absolutely nowhere (to them.) They finally got the truth out of me and told me that no, it wasn’t healthy, and I had to get out right now. Luckily, E wasn’t being so subtle anymore and was so confidant that she broke me she could just bluntly tell me whatever she wanted and know I would do it. So I left. Left her a good bye note on Skype and to this day I haven’t gone back on.

(Also I did find out later that she had tried to copy one of my OCs and I’m not joking when I say my vision turned red bc you can fuck with me all you want but if you look funny at my OC babies I will beat you to death with a crowbar)

I weaned myself off the pills I was taking for my headaches. I’d made a Tumblr account out of curiosity a few months before and started talking to some people, so I started spending more time on Tumblr. I started trying, bit by bit, to eat more. I went to see a therapist. But I felt even more worthless than before, because what was the point of me if I wasn’t existing to make her happy? Honestly that was how I felt. That was my thought process.

I still planned on killing myself. Wasn’t so much an if than a when. I was kind of drifting through life, idly wondering what would be the last straw that broke my back and kind of wishing it would hurry up already. I didn’t want anyone on Tumblr getting super attached to me bc I didn’t want to hurt people. I had my goodbye note written out. I waited.

This is going to sound stupid but I have heard that suicidal people’s brains don’t want to die deep down and will cling to literally anything that might keep them alive. My slap upside the head wake-up call was actually a friend’s OC: steverogershield’s Conrad. A character who was struggling a lot but trying to stay functional for a loved one. It was such a small, dumb thing, but for some reason it hit me hard that maybe I was not as worthless as I thought I was, and maybe people actually would miss me for longer than a day if I died.

Again, that’s dumb. And embarrassing. But Enna and her Conrad are the reason I’m still here so. go and thank her for my continued dumbass meme presence. 😂

The second person isn’t that involved. She obviously had some kind of anger disorder and knew it but she also??? just didn’t want to go to therapy?? like straight up just didn’t want to so she didn’t, and just expected people to put up with her mood swings and explosive temper that was fine one minute and yelling and cursing the next?? So she yelled at me once over a mistake (fair, my bad), I told her please not to do it again and instead try to tell me without yelling when I did something wrong bc of course I didn’t want to do something that upset a friend. She also seemed to be really inconsistent with her ideas and contradict herself constantly so I never knew what was the right thing to say, but that may have been a language barrier so. She lost it with me again anyway a month or so afterward and so I left. I knew my limits and I knew I couldn’t deal with that again. I still wanted to die for a little bit afterward but I knew I could weather it that time so I did and here I am. Because of my first bad relationship I now know the signs and knew EXACTLY where the second relationship was going so I could say “lmao no thank u please get help” and leave before it could too bad. I still don’t really blame this person because I know it was just a disorder and not really her fault but I do hope she got some help, she could be a really nice person in the good moments, very smart and creative and funny and kind, and with therapy I know she could have gotten better with her bad mood swings. She was also the same person who told me she had to imagine beating her cat to death when she got angry and just… if that isn’t a huge red flag idk what is.

Anyway. That’s the crux of it. woooooo. 

[aph-floral-verse]

Hope this isn't awkward, but how would you go about setting up the au? Like as in, how you should set up the main page and things like that, and what should you do if the au doesn't actually grow big? Sorry if this is weird, I just think you guys run the floralverse au really well and think that you'd be the best people to answer this question.

Oh I don’t think its weird at all and thank you so much! We do try our best to run the au smoothly and as best as we can. All the following information will be under the keeping reading section as its a lot. ^^’

 So for setting up an au such as the main page and stuff, you should always include a several things: 

1. Name of au and what the au is: 

For example is it an au rp group, a drawn ask only group, or etc. It may help to prevent anyone from asking about these questions in the future. Or others can include things as Colour Kingdoms - Soulmate Au if there is something that should be known right away about the au if it can be written within a short sentence. 

2. Name(s) of Admin with point of contact: 

Okay so this is technically optional however I feel its always better to have the names of admins so people are aware of whose the admin and who to address when admins have to reply to an ask and what not. I also feel that its always good to let people know they aren’t talking to a nameless person. 

3. Links to Important Information: 

So I can’t explicitly put in what exactly is the type of information will be in it as it depends on the type of au you want to make. If it isn’t obvious by name, I suggest making a link to a page where it talks about the backstory of the au. If you need a map or made one, definitely add that as a link too and list the information about the various areas if needed. Roles are especially important if there is a change in roles or explaining needed for certain roles such as a Chess Au explaining the roles of each piece. Applications and rules also apply under important information and more in detail below.

4 - Rules and Applications: 

So this an obvious thing to most aus but it depends on the type of person you are. With the rules written in the main blog for the Floralverse, its more of a common sense thing and lets you know about whats the url format and stuff. Its general basic rules everyone knows but its there anyways.However applications are a different story especially with how you handle it. 

First of all, I never approve of an application by myself. I always have one other admin approve of the application before whoever posts it. The other admins have just as much say in this au as I do and I want their opinions. Besides, its always good to get another set of eyes on the application to help approve.

Second, its your choice to have an application. The Floralverse at first didn’t have one and gained many members. It was great however there was a slight flaw to it. One: you can gain many members but it also means that you didn’t know how developed their character is or anything. Two: we forgot to require people to state a point of reference for us to contact them so we have anons who asked for things but have never gotten back to us. Three: You also don’t know the type of people who applied. 

However applications can be stressful if you don’t know how to set up one but I always follow a simple format: 

Name of admin, if they are 18+ (this is more of an option if your au doesn’t contain dark elements or sexual activities or if you include an nsfw in a discord chat or such), a blog they run (mainly as a point of contact), muse, muse’s name, personality, and appearance. Jobs are also optional and more can be added depending on the type of au. 

5. Members: 

This is one the most important things and it is a huge pet peeve of mine if the members list isn’t updated. Why? Because when you want to join a blog especially if it has limited positions, you don’t want to be screwed over by “oh yeah that was taken a while back lmao.” We do try to keep the member list up to date and stay on top of it. I now included dates I updated it just because it gives me a reminder of “oh crap I didn’t update and new people joined? Okay i have to update it right now.”And how to organized it is mainly based on your logic and what you think is most important. To me, rules and members come first before the rest usually. I usually do this via pages and do one main tumblr theme.

What do you do if your au doesn’t grow big?

First of all, don’t be discourage! Like any idea, game, or book, there is always a chance your au won’t grow big. Aus grow big for a multitude of reasons as people join for different reasons. I know one au had gained lots of members because this one person had joined the au. I haven’t asked my own au why did they join but it did gain lots of attention and people did join. I’m just lucky I not only have a big au but the fact that everyone that joined was interested and such good people. 

Second, it is sometimes good that your au doesn’t grow big. As time passes, more and more will join but also its also more likely that unwanted people will join- aka people who make the au less enjoyable for a variety of reasons. I know a multitude of big aus that quickly crash and burn because bad people join and cause problems within the au or even the admins running the au could cause the au to burn if they do not manage their au properly. I don’t mean to scare you but managing an au especially when it gets big can cause some problems as admin you need to handle. I know its been about 4 months since this au really opened and so far we had no real big issues that caused people to leave. But the point is, there is no sense in trying to gain a huge au if the people in it are only to cause it to crash and burn. People, both members and admins, have to respect each other and be treated equally no matter who they are, age, gender, or what not. 

Third, if you really want to get your au to gain members and grow big, of course promo the au. I never personally really promoed the au except within the discord chat of the Colour Kingdom au which gained a few members right off the bat. Others helped us to promo the au which gained attention. Get your friends involved and get attention to your au! Hopefully others will want to join. “Famous” people can join your au and can help others also join the au but again, promoting the au really helps to get the au out there to others who might be interesting in joining. 

Fourth, of course if you want a big au, you have to do a concept where multiple people can join. For example, if you wanted to do a Zodiac Au or a Chess au, usually you can only allow a few members because there is only limited positions. Either way, limiting the amount of people who can join limits how big your au will get. 

Honestly this is as much things I can really say that make up a big au? This is two out of the three admin’s first time running an au so this was quite a surprise it grew this big at all. Besides these are mainly suggestions and increased chances that your au will get attention and hold some similar things. Honestly, nothing in any real particular order. I have more personal advice to act as a “proper” admin but that’s unrelated to the topic at hand. I hope this was able to help you out and I covered most questions you had! If you want to talk more in detail feel free to pm/dm me at either @ask-floral-2pseborga or @neetstudioart. 

[greedlaw-blog]

GET TO KNOW YOUR RP PARTNER ! 

( Repost, please don’t reblog )

tagged by: @littleaquaa​  tagging: Anyone who’d like to do this ~

BASICS

▐ NAME: Bri ▐ PRONOUNS: She/Her ▐ SEXUALITY: hotbread Lesbean ▐ TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single  ▐ FIVE FACTS:

I never expected this blog to be as well-liked && adored as it is today. I haven’t even been here that long, and I kept disappearing for a while. So to have 300+ followers and so many of you wanting to thread with me ? It just makes me really, really happy。·:*:·ﾟ★ Thank you !

I sound intimidating but I’m really just a huge nerd who worries about absolutely everything from her writing (one reason I sometimes spend forever on drafts) to her friends.

I’m currently going through an identity crisis && that’s been fun.

Pink, Rose && Steven are all pansexual on this blog - they LOVE literally everybody. If you ever want to discuss canon ships or new ships with me please step forward.

I’m obsessed with video games to the point it’ll be 8pm one minute and 4am the next. N erd problems. (Prey ! ! Has been my favorite for like a month now)

EXPERIENCE

▐ HOW LONG ( YEARS/MONTHS ): 9+ Years - it’s hard to calculate but ever since the 7th grade and I’m 20 going on 21 in less than 20 days - July 27th ! Writing is my passion. ▐ PLATFORMS USED: Tumblr & Discord - might consider giving it out to mutuals I’m comfortable with.  ▐ BEST EXPERIENCE: Being able to express my love for these characters through writing them - AND I’ve met some awesome folks I can call my newest friends♥ @ificouldbegin-to-be​ | @pridelaw​ | @wrathlaw​ (I’m always open for new friends, I don’t bite <3)

MUSE PREFERENCES

▐ MALE OR FEMALE: Female

▐ FAVORITE FACE: Gucci faces

▐ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: Angst is my favorite - I adore fluff though. I’m very uncomfortable with smut so please never approach me with that. ▐ PLOTS OR MEMES:  I’ve come to learn I blank a lot when trying to plot unless my partner has an idea for me to work from - it takes me a while to think of ideas so when I have them, I write them down and save them so I don’t forget. Memes are easier for me because of this. 

▐ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Both ! Honestly ? It depends on how I’m feeling. I TRY to write more than a sentence unless it’s a meme or a starter call. And those are even sometimes longer. If I’m really invested ? I can write half a book lmao ... ▐ BEST TIME TO WRITE:  Late night when everyone is asleep. Now that I’m completely active, I’ll be around most 8PM - 6AM EST. It’s hard for me to write during the day - if there’s any noise at all I can’t think. && If I’m depressed - it’s harder for me to write and it’s why I’ll vanish sometimes. Angst is easier in these cases, tbh. ▐ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: I’m nothing like Pink OR Rose but I share Steven’s selflessness and love. ♥ I love all three of them. I hope you love my interpretations, too♥

[stormbreaker101]

1, 4, 11, & 25!

LONG POST WARNING. EVERYTHING WILL BE UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THIS GOT LONG AND I DONT WANNA CLOG UP THE FEED LIKE THAT FUCKING “DO YOU LIKE THE COLOR OF THE SKY” POST.

1) Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

My main project is a sort of Wizard101 extension/diversion of canon. I’ve been trying to integrate it into my personal multiverse of other fandoms my friends and I are in (such as Undertale, BNHA, and Worm) and it’s great!

Basically, it happens post Empyrea, pre Karamelle. I interpreted the Nothing that Sybil warned about to be the wizard themselves because all throughout the game they’re nothing but a force sent to clean up other peoples’ messes. They’re never addressed by name by voice (obviously, it’s nonsense to record every line in the game multiple times, each time for a different name), so if the wizard has any other issues with identity and self worth (which Nora does), there will be ISSUES. And so uh long story short Nora kinda lashes out at the Spiral and sends it into a period of catastrophic panic known as “The Tragedy” (stolen straight out of Danganronpa lmfao), and now it’s up to her cousins to clean up her mess. Ultimately the story is about healing so it’s not all dark and depressing. Only... mostly.

I’ve been working on it officially since like September 2020, but on June 19 2020 I also tried to bring w101 into my personal multiverse by giving another one of my OCs Shadow Magic. Why? B/c she was bored and felt stagnant and didn’t feel like enough of a villain.

My favorite part about it is that I’m working on it at my own pace. I’m not writing it as a book and rather it’s a series of RPs on another site I’m on so I don’t feel a need to consistently write or get consistent positive feedback on it. It makes it more fun.

4) Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

No... No! Renee, you're fucking deluding yourself again! You CAN'T CARE! You CAN'T GIVE A SHIT! You are a TEXTBOOK. DEFINITION. SOCIOPATH. An unfeeling piece of shit who cares about nothing but her own wellbeing! Fuck other peoples' feelings! Fuck conscience! And yet... why did her actions say otherwise? She didn't understand. She wished she could understand. She wished she had someone who could understand for her. ... it's too late to turn back. She said she was never going to return to Nora and Iridian. She had to keep that promise.

~

Renee is probably my favorite OC out of everything I’ve written. I’ve used her for like 4 years now, and I’ve developed her so much and her psychology is so complex that I’m still kinda figuring it out. This bit of writing is her personal monologue after she’s left Nora and Iridian, fearing that she in all her villainy will hurt them. It’s just a snippet of her mind but I think it captures her so well.

11) What do you envy in other writers?

Their ability to write consistently and to actually publish shit lmao. All of the stuff I do is mostly just for me and my friends. I’ve tried writing books before. They were shitty Gravity Falls and Undertale fanfictions, but they were books nonetheless, with a name and a title and a start and... I never managed to finish any of them because my passion for them died out. I blame the ADHD.

25) What part of writing is the most fun?

It’s hella cathartic. I get to put my characters through emotional turmoil that I wouldn’t be able to express in any other medium. Writing lets me explore so many emotions and other rough concepts like abandonment and unwanted responsibility and trauma and bigotry in a safe way.

[pvssyriot-blog]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST | DO NOT REBLOG ! )

BASICS

NAME:  jay PRONOUNS:  she/her SEXUALITY:  who knows lol  TAKEN OR SINGLE: ^^ who fucking KNOWS.

THREE FACTS

ONE:  i love sports more than like 95% of the things on the planet which is rly funny, seeing as.. i am the clumsiest person in the world.

TWO: i’ve never dated someone who wasn’t more than 8 inches taller than i am.. maybe even more than that tbh, i don’t know.

THREE: hopefully, i’m going to be moving to austin next august to go to ut-a in order to pursue a degree in sports management!! and it’s literally going to be the first time ive lived outside of michigan LMAO. big things coming soooon.

EXPERIENCES

HOW LONG (MONTHS/YEARS?): hooooly, maybe like... 5 1/2 years?

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  too many.. q, chatzy, kik, tumblr, aim, uhhh... omegle.

BEST EXPERIENCE: i’ve had way too many, but i’d say.. the best thing overall about rp is the friends i’ve made.

MUSE PREFERENCES

FEMALE OR MALE:  i’ve always prefered playing females, but i do love my guys.

MULTI OR SINGLE: doesn’t really make a difference to me tbh???

WRITING PREFERENCES

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: uuuuuuugh. i love smut and i love fluff. i’m ass at writing angst because it like actually pains me sometimes to see muses fighting and shit bc i want everyone to be happy all the time haha.

PLOTS OR MEMES:  memes are cool, i’m lazy though so sometimes it will legit take me months to post them?? so if you’re into writing something right away, i would say plotting is the way to go.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i like longer replies, but sometimes i just can’t bring myself to write anything longer than like 4-5 sentences?? so it really just depends on the thread/my mood.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: always, but i have the most inspo right after i wake up or late at night.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  some of them, yes. most of them, no.

TAGGED BY: @chkehcld TAGGING: @dcgausscr, @heatstrckes, @arouscl, @theownerslove, @tumkink and anyone else who wants to!!

[adamantiii]

(*°ｰ°)ﾉ -slides everything else on that Munday meme here- do it~♡

@tcpsytxrvy​

† Do you portray your muse as religious? Why or why not? How does your own religion (or lack thereof) influence this?

I do not portray Delia as religious and there are two reasons for it. The first, and the most prominent reason, is her personality and attitude in general. I just can’t see her being the type of person who’d really follow one, honestly. It has less to do with her beliefs in a god or higher power and more her free-spirited nature; she does not like being told how to live her life, especially by other people. She would not take well to being told she has to act, think, or live a certain way - she gets enough of that from her aunt as it is. 

My own tendency towards non-religion does have some part in it as, because it’s not a huge part of my life, it doesn’t seem like it would be something significant. There is also the fact that I do not trust internet sources on the matter of religion or culture ( I can’t tell you how many time I’ve read something and then had someone who is actually part of that religion or culture explain that it’s inaccurate or incorrect), and would rather not make it an aspect of my character than run the risk of misportraying it. 

☑ What is a plot idea you’re willing to play with virtually any partner? What makes that plot so special to you?

I don’t do plot ideas, per say. I mean, I have them, but any idea I would want to do stems from original works of mine that, as a result of past issues (read: people lifting stuff off my old dA account and trying to sell it on Amazon), I’d rather not put online. Let’s just say I have the worst luck when it comes to theft and I’ve gotten extremely stingy about posting original content or mentioning it to people. But I’m always up for AUs, especially anything Star Wars or Fantasy related.

✰ How did you decide your muse’s skills and talents? Do they relate to their occupation in some way?

In most cases, I look at their personality and occupation and figure out what fits best with it, but with Delia, I wanted to step outside of the norm, at least in my case. Most of Delia’s however, are learned and mostly self-taught. Like, she’s that person who gets bored and spends hours binge-watching internet tutorials on some of the most random things. One or two things may be a natural talent, such as her artistic ability, or taught, like her figure skating ability, but the rest are mostly  She sees something that sparks her interest and she just does it.

Except cooking. No matter how many times she’s tried, she just cannot grasp the concept. She can barely make toast without burning it. 

Ⅶ If you have multiple blogs and/or muses, which one is your favorite? Why?

I’ve had numerous blogs but one of my One Piece OCs will always be my favorite. I put years of work into her and her personality and general set up isn’t like most characters I normally write. She’s not my first, by far, but she’s definitely the one I’m most proud of. (I’m actually in the process of working out her BNHA verse, even if she would be Midnight 2.0…).

✎ When choosing a name for your muse, did you pick something special or meaningful in some way?

I’m a huge sucker for hidden meaning and symbolism, and in most cases, there usually is some underlying meaning in my characters’ names, but with Delia, it was less meaning and more “I like how that sounds”.  That, and finding English names that work with Japanese surnames is harder than you’d think. 

☺ If you have a faceclaim for your muse, why did you choose them? Are you satisfied with your fc, or would you rather find a different one?

The short answer is I already had icons when I used her for a previous OC. As for satisfied? I’m never satisfied, lmao. But honestly, finding an FC for a character that isn’t too expressive, but not completely stoic, that also doesn’t look twelve is a lot harder than it seems. Especially for me, considering how picky I am with art style.

♥ When it comes to shipping, what factors are absolutely necessary for a ship to develop?

This ain’t tinder, y’all. There’s none of that this ain’t working and bail with the breadsticks twenty minutes into it. Chemistry is an absolute must. I know my character and I know what types of people she does and doesn’t like and if I feel that a ship won’t work, it most likely won’t. Of course, the actual development is also important, but if that initial “spark” isn’t there, then there’s already a problem.

Communication and discussion between partners is also super important. I get very invested in my ships and, to be 100% transparent, easily discouraged if I feel my partners aren’t as interested. 

❝ ❞ Is it easy for you to write dialog for your muse? Do their speech patterns come naturally to you while writing?

Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. My main issue is keeping a couple of things in mind when writing her dialogue. Delia’s a little tricky because she’s bilingual and she’s pretty obvious about it, but her Japanese isn’t perfect. It’s basically textbook Japanese with some phrases or wordings she’s picked up over the years and she has a habit of throwing English words into the middle of her sentences (I italicize them and she does this to try and cover up the fact that she doesn’t actually know the word she’s looking for). The hardest part, as my knowledge of Japanese is limited to maybe three or four words, is knowing which words she’d mispronounce - because it’s supposed to happen a lot, especially with the ones that rely heavily on emphasis. Like, if she ever says “bridge” out of nowhere, she probably actually meant “chopsticks”.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother with that, but it is a big part of her character (she gets really defensive if someone points it out), and it makes replies a bit difficult to do at times. 

❀ What is a muse you want to play but haven’t? Why haven’t you played them yet?

I considered Shinsou at one point, but the whole canon privilege issue I talked about in an earlier ask is pretty much what stopped me from doing so.

✸ Tell us about any NPCs on your blog. Who are they to your muse? What do they contribute to your blog?

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t even know what could be considered an NPC in reference to tumblr roleplaying…

✼ When it comes to worldbuilding, what are some ideas you’d like to explore in rp?

Just about anything, really. Like, literally any scenario brings the potential for development in general and I’m always down for that.

[bluegrasshole]

do all the get to know your author questions bc they're all good and i can't pick

ko…. you need to work on your decisiveness (but thank you)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

i mean.. not really. i had decided not to write any more fanfiction to focus on an original story i started but then… i wanted to get used to the setting, work through some personal stuff… kind of warm myself up while still writing the other one… so i’m writing a nurseydex lighthouse story like i said i would

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

my entire fanfiction.net account is bad. so so so bad. and surprisingly recent. also i HATE my early zimbits stuff, but of course one of them is like my second most popular piece so i can’t delete it. like really hate. and it’s frustrating because i have good stuff from that time period, so i don’t even fucking know what was going through my mind.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

chronological but i tend to go back and add things obsessively. i like getting the skeleton down first just to get the basic plot and know where i’m going, then i go back to add in details – the meat of the skeleton if you will… and you know i like details

4) favorite character you’ve written

any dex is my favourite, but also specifically jack from samwell gentlemen’s hockey because he cracks me up, and i really loved writing parvati in that one parvender piece. 

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

camilla? in strange lovers i didn’t even know i was writing camilla until i realized like 3k in that my character who i’d named millie and was blonde was in fact… camilla. she snuck up on me

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

oh… i do go back and fix things often (in strange lovers i went back to rewrite parts of ransom’s character and his role months after i originally posted it because i realized i had written some pretty shitty stuff regarding black men) but, meh, row upon row is always one i’d like… want to go back and fix, especially the rushed ending, but i can’t go back and change it now because it’s been read by too many people…

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

super embarrassed. only my best friend knows because she’s also a writer but i still don’t feel super comfortable talking to her about it. we’re getting there with each other. she doesn’t write fanfiction ya feel though i think she’s read some

8) favorite genre to write

lmao idk i like writing comedy but plot is hard so i don’t often do it. character studies i guess, AUs, angst

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

music, and listening to people tell stories about themselves or others, just being around people is inspiring to me. i recently went to a show that was a mix of folk music and storytelling about prince edward island? and it was incredible i left there feeling so invigorated

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

i do most of my writing in a café a minute from my apartment, with or without music depending on if my wireless headphones are dead or not, always w a blended matcha latté

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

oh man. i mean since i started writing in like, 2010? i mean, everything, obviously. but since 2015 – christ. still everything? well, definitely verb tenses/points of view/epithets/general structure and technique, definitely better at rhythm though that took some serious work and a couple stories focussed solely on rhythm and flow. i think i’m much better at nuance now – weaving different themes together to make at least a semi-coherent story… and general prose, i think. finding a balance between minimalism and appropriate imagery. i’m more comfortable playing around with grammar then i used to be. idk, i think my voice has just overall developed into something clearer and distinct from others.

12) your weaknesses as an author

plot and dialogue-heavy scenes. i like writing dialogue and i think the lines themselves are good usually, i just have a hard time, like finding the balance between dialogue, dialogue that has to accomplish something, and prose. and writing a neat point-a-to-point-b plot is a losing battle

13) your strengths as an author

i’ve been told setting, and i think that’s about right. i get obsessive about crafting like, a complete world where it feels like there are things that happen outside of the plot and the main characters. building fucking lore into the setting is the most fun for me. i think the details make the story.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

heeeelll yeah

15) why did you start writing?

idk i spent a lot of time on the internet and all the quote unquote cool kids were doing it. i was in a RP where we were all pretty close friends (still follow them on all social media including fb) and we just like, wrote each other fic. i was pretty good at writing before then (for a kid) and even was runner-up for a national award or something in grade six? i barely remember what it was for but i do remember the piece was called “autumn’s opus” and it was comparing the seasons to an orchestra or a piece of music idk. it was pretty killer for an 11-yr-old if i do say so myself

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

oh i don’t know about haunt but i do get sad about jack and kent all the time

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural (it probably doesn’t) and put dooooown the epithets. it’s lazy writing and you don’t need them. and reread reread reread reread. in different fonts, different colours, on differents days, out loud, by different people… reread!!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

absolutely anything by fluorescentgrey but especially her historical AUs, familiar’s character designs and rawness, waspabi’s dialogue and humour, montparnasse’s prose and tenderness, misandrywitch’s everything, and this piece which inspired a tattoo and pushed me to start experimenting with my own writing a couple years ago… among many others

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

oh i usually just give up halfway through that’s how

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

usually i go to the café and sit for like 5 hours and if i get a few hundred words out of that i’m happy

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

ugh it’s so bad and shitty and i hate it all

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

well, yeah. i don’t like writing about religion so i just… don’t, much. strange lovers had the most religion of anything i’ve ever written. and i’m cautious about writing about race though i’ve done it a few times… i don’t super like writing traditional coming-out stories because i just don’t care all that much so i’ll usually twist them around somehow if they’re necessary. 

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

all of my life experiences inform my writing. that’s not me being facetious i just mean that i really like listening to people tell stories and telling stories myself and gossiping etc that i think it’s clear that i prioritize that in my writing

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

ah yes coal mining in 20th century nova scotia lmao

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

the very first paragraph from my nurseydex wip: 

There are days where you think you could lose yourself in the fog and there are days where you wouldn’t mind. When you wake and it’s there eating the world up, surrounding it all like a living thing, voracious, and it’s even hungrier at night, and the only thing that reminds you you belong to the earth and are tied to it like the oldest and most solid daybeacon in the harbour is the horn, loud and long and haunting and filling. And the light. The light, the light, always the light.

[goingtosee-theworld]

im toolazy to make a header

Pet’s Questionnaire

Name: Pet

Characters: Jane Porter, Howl Pendragon, Eva Grimhelde, Roger Radcliffe, Calliope Harper, Daisy Duck, Jake Long, Lymantria Khan, Al McWiggin, mystery character 10 wow when the fuck did i get so many

Pick a thread from the past six months that you’re proud of and talk about why.

What HAVENT I been proud of in the last six months haha---ok jk jk.

Not really a thread but the whole arc of Howl turns into demon bird was really a thrill to write. I was a bit slow with it because school (ahhh schoooolll), but I was really proud of how it all ended up. From the intial unbecoming—which was short, but action-paced—to the kidnapping of the egg, to Kiki searching for Howl, then the reunion with Mel, and confronting Suliman—ugh it was so action-packed and fun and the egg has yet to unveil herself dun dun dun. (I do realize the first few paras of this fell before the six month line, but we will ignore that).

One of the things I find difficult in writing is, well, action sequences when a lot of things happened at once and this whole arc was full of them, so it really forced me to think about character placement and what a good next move would be. And I want to thank MK and Lauryl for being good partners with this (and being patient when I was slow) and just giving me a lot to work with and ugh yeah.

An honorable mention is the Titsy closet thread (lmao) not just for the smut but because I think that moment was like really character defining for both of them. There was a lot going on. It was also hot and steamy.

Another honorable mention is MILANO BREAKS INTO A MUSEUM AND WAKES A MUMMY AND OH GOD THE REPURCUSSIONS ARE JUST BEING FELT AHHH. Yeah that still has to play out but wow it is fun.

Identify a challenge you’ve faced in this rp. Reflect on why this is a challenge for you. Are there any strategies you can develop to overcome this challenge?

I’m too shy. And I know that is my one big weakness. And I know it might not seem that way in the group chat because I’m a jokester and I say weird shit and am generally jovial and talkative, but like one on one I am…so…anxious and shy and asdkjadlks. I swear to god no matter who you are if we’re talking one on one I get really anxious and im like oh god they noticed I was typing but then I realized I didn’t say anything oh god I feel awful maybe I should clarify wait no I shouldn’t wait no I should wait no it’s too late //screaMs and then I think you hate me. Rinse, repeat.  

This is a challenge, of course, because it makes it really hard for me to plot—because it’s not just me going to approach people, but like people approaching me and I don’t know WHY because 9/10 I love their ideas/they love my ideas. And like I am trying my best to slowly get over it. Im trying to branch out and hit more people up and I am starting by outlining my goals for my characters and then trying to contact people who would be relevant and hopefully I don’t like combust with anxiety whilst doing so wish me luck;;

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you! ) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

I did Howl last time so now it’s time for Miss Jane Porter.

Ah, Jane, Jane, Jane. SO like a little TMI background into the creation of Jane. I’ve roleplayed Jane Porter for like 6 years now. My original Jane was much different from this Jane. This Jane grew from quite a dark time in my life and her early days were very reflective of that dark time (only getting darker for those first months I had her). Thus, without me even intending it, she got quite depressed. I hadn’t expected it, but that’s the sort of thing that happens when you trap someone who never wanted to make a real commitment in a small town.

Jane was supposed to be fun, energetic, just happening to be weighed down by a dark secret—what she is now is more reflective of what I wanted for her. Instead, the idea of being trapped in one place, the idea of death lurking at the corner of her vision consumed her. She was lonely. She shut herself to the world. She regressed in a way that I did not anticipate. The only way out was for her to crash and burn.

So, I made Jane crash. I gave her everything she feared—the chance of falling in love, the potential of a child, a glimpse of a life that she could live in another world, basically what could be’s that she had been trying to stay away from. And she crashed and those few months were her darkest (like right after rejecting Milo, the time jump, then the pregnancy thing).

Now she’s coming back around. What’s fun with Jane (and by extension Milo) is that they have this—and I’m using a Lauryl ™ term for this—complicated happiness. Where they are happy, but ya know, there are issues. At their best, they are an unstoppable team—they hunt demons, they sneak into museums, they make each other brave (they are both brave, I think, in different ways, but the way that they are not brave is exactly what the other is brave in, so it like complements each other). But at their worst, they become scared: Milo frets, Jane avoids, Milo overanalyzes, Jane tries not to acknowledge. And so far there hasn’t been a real issue with that, but they should have a Talk sooner or later.

I’m proud that Jane was able to pull herself up. But what I want her to do is recognize her problems. She’s very avoidant that way, turning to alcohol/sex when she’s really down or simply ignoring the little things when she’s on a high. She fits her enneagram type to a tee. She ignores bad things and just tries to focus on something new, something exciting, something good. But she needs to recognize problems and work to fix them before they become Big Problems.

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them for the rest of the year?

I’m going to go with Daisy on this one.

So Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. My little flower. Daisy is always weird for me because literally everything I ever planned for her went in the complete opposite direction. Date Stan? Nope. Interact with Tito just for fun? Lol. Fake-date Lou in the Hogwarts-verse? Hahaha. Even the long term things ended up getting derailed by events (titsy wasn’t supposed to like get together for a bit, but then valentine’s happened, for example). So with Daisy a plan is more like a rough guideline. (which is so FUCKING META IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY PLANS EVERYTHING AHHH)/

There are two paths I envision for Daisy: the first requires a lot more work, but may be more fulfilling in terms of character development and lead to a happy ending. The second is more comfortable and honestly, more unexpected and might be more interesting.

The first is that Daisy rejects the notions of class and wealth she was bred into, which as I mentioned before, would require a lot of work in changing her thinking, but it can be done. Not to be super Sorting Hat Chats in here (okay but when are we not), her primary is Ravenclaw and right now her system is in a bit of a flux and she’s trying to rebuild it. She would need the right type of influence—not just from Tito, mind you, because she feels that she is biased should she solely listen to him (Daisy’s quite analytical and logical and will try to put her own feelings aside when it comes to that decision). It would need to be a mix of outside forces, and this I can see ending in her graduating and doing what she wants to do, instead of what approved jobs her mom would have picked out for her (so maybe trying to strike it out on her own and starting her own lifestyle blog, or working at a smaller company, or maybe one focused on social justice instead of just haute couture idk) and most importantly, choosing her heart over preapproved options.

Now this is the option that would represent the most character growth, but my hesitation? It’s cliché. It’s a bit overdone. It’s Rose from Titanic. It’s been done, and for the way it would pan out with Daisy, it would not be super unique. Would it be the happier ending? Well, yes. I’ve not closed it off completely and tbh I am a sucker for happy endings, so this might be the way to go, I’m just leaving room to think of option two.

Option Two is that Daisy decides that her whole system of class and wealth and status is the one for her. This would just need little nudges from her family, from her friends of high status, reminders of people who have fallen, glimpses into a future that is glamorous and glittering—where she has access to her wealth and name and can use that to better the lives of others. Without having to focus on meeting her own needs, she can turn to the world. (That would be the argument there). Now this has a clear end for Daisy—she graduates, she moves to London or Paris or New York. Will she be satisfied? We won’t know. Her story in Swynlake will end. It ends with a whimper, not a bang. It’s classy, it’s literary, it’s Sister Carrie achieving her dreams, yet feeling empty in her rocking chair..

Now these two options are by no means the only paths for Daisy to follow (and heaven knows she’s done an amazing job at skirting around literally every other plan I’ve set up for her)—so we will see! Maybe it will be some weird combo of those two. Maybe something will happen to expedite one or the other. Maybe she’ll turn into a zombie.

OPTIONAL (REQUIRED FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T DO THE LAST QUESTIONNAIRE): In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

Uhhhhhhhhh. Srry ive felt bad about my writing lately but here goes:

Structure: now this is like. A weird one?? Idk it stood out to me when I wrote Ly’s one-shot about her brother, but I like playing with structure and having set forms and beginning sentences certain ways and having repetition and idk this is weird but I really enjoy doing this so I do think I do it well.

Description: I think I do this well. When I do it I mean. I try. I think I do it the best with magic, Howl’s and Ly’s specifically. Also Daisy’s outfits lmao.

Humor: This one I will say I do well. I make myself chuckle.

OPTIONAL (REQUIRED FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T DO THE LAST QUESTIONNAIRE): In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Dialogue: last questionnaire I said I did dialogue well but I take it back. I feel like all my characters sound the same. Idk. Except for like Howl maybe, and Roger. I guess it’s like the cluster of Ly/Daisy/Eva with their weird accents that don’t actually exist in youtube videos so I cant quite pin them down.

Setting: im really trying to improve on this! And just add like little details in general! It’s still a work in progress but it’s getting there!!

Like action/forwarding things this is vague: I remember very specifically in one of my creative writing classes, I had written something I was very proud of and someone told me something along the lines of “I enjoyed reading this and it was well-written…but it was just people sitting around and talking for the most part. Nothing happened.” And that really resonated with me because ya know, I do that well. I do sitting around and talking and thinking and longing and sighing quite well. It’s the like actually furthering things along part I am bad at. This rp has definitely forced me to do that and I am definitely improving, but it is still something I need to work on.

OPTIONAL (REQUIRED FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T DO THE LAST QUESTIONNAIRE): Reflect on other writers you love– in the rp or out! How have they influenced you? What do you love about their writing that you want to bring to your own?

Every1 is great, again. 

IF YOU DID THE LAST QUESTIONNAIRE: Alright, now pick an item from the Wishlist you completed in January that you’ve started to pursue. How far are you from completing this goal? Talk about the steps you took to make it happen.

Jane and the cheating thing. Not that Jane is going to cheat, not by a long shot. (Actually in the most recent of my replies to the Jane/Paul thread, I think Jane like drunkenly had the epiphany that she was just lusting over Paul because he represented her could-have-beens—will she remember that come morning? Find out.)

This is a thing that I don’t think will be resolved-resolved till Jane brings it up to Milo whenever they have that Talk that they need to have that’s kinda been building up haha.

I actually can’t remember if Lauryl offered Paul as the sacrificial lamb first or we had LADS interact with all our characters and Jane and Paul kinda hit it off (they’re both naturally flirty)—but whichever one it was, we took it off and just kept playing with it. It did take a brief hold up as my school picked up (darn you school), but I think it’s back on track and combined with this mummy plot. Well. Should be a fun time.

IF YOU DID THE LAST QUESTIONNAIRE: Pick another item on your wishlist that hasn’t happened yet. We’re gonna do a MOCK-PLOT!!! Pick a character who could help with this goal, and plan at least three threads or “steps” that would kick-start this plot. Need help? Remember to look at the plotting tips and tricks! See the end of this questionnaire for an example. You do not have to follow through with the plot as you planned it here– but it can kickstart brainstorming and get you thinking in terms of cause/effect.

Ok im cheating a bit for this and picking a character with a plot that I did not have on the wishlist (and then adding someone that I did bc why not)

LYMANTRIA GOES OFF THE DEEP END

Have someone further influence Lymantria into believing that she’s nothing without her magic (Mel or Mellie)

Lymantria seeks someone who will take Fey’s with her. They do the drug together. (Alice)

A trusted friend notices what’s going on and tries to intervene. (Maui or Meg)

Lymantria does not listen. Stronger forces must get involved (depending probably on who it was in the previous thread but most likely Esme or Copper/law enforcement in general (lmao or both)).

DAISY ADMITS SHE NEEDS THERAPY

There’s a thing that’s supposed to happen which will result in a big fight. (Tito)

Daisy most likely will go to Lou for advice. (Lou)

Most likely, she will not feel any the better from that and will probably save face since she hates seeming weak (especially in front of Lou lol) and then will be like let’s do what normal college aged girls do and go clubbing! And then get a full blown panic attack while clubbing. (Annette probably does daisy have any female friends idk---oh maybe Hermes tbh)

Either ends up at home or in the hospital, and like the boys will come so this is between Tito/Lou idk who is more likely to suggest that to her. Heck maybe Stan. Or ya know maybe a medical professional—Minnie? Sweet? Idk this end part is really up in the air and I think depends on what happens in the previous part.

AL LEARNS ABOUT FEMINISM

While online gaming, Al is confronted by a female gamer who calls him out for being a chauvinist. He relates this experience to a friend who further calls him out. (Gogo)

Al wants to find out what the heck he is doing wrong. Don’t women have it good already? He seeks out a woman he knows who has a better education than him and a better job, because he was definitely qualified to get into a good school he just couldn’t ya know and he wants to find out /why/ women think they are at a disadvantage. (Nala)

Al can’t believe it! He tries to find a man whom he respects who agrees with Nala. (a man Al respects—Wade, idk. Who is a nerd here?)

Finally: write a NEW wish list for the upcoming half of the year. It’s fine if you use a lot from your previous wish list if you still haven’t completed them and you still want to!

1.       Family connections—leftover from my last list, but in the works as we speak mwhaha

2.       I know I have already had a few love triangles, but I want one where the two outer points are like actually close and would hate to hurt each other by picking the love interest (like Angelica-Eliza-Hamilton, tbh) ‘cuz the ones I have right now the two outer points don’t really care about each other remotely.

3.       POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP—who knows, could be the solution to the above conflict haha.

4.       Threesome—I’ve been pitching this endlessly. Someone write a threesome with me.

5.       Explore Jake’s magic: I think his is the most undeveloped. I need an opportunity to bring it to light. I want him to either heroically help someone OR get in trouble and have to face the Dragon order repercussions, etc ,etc.