#short and sweet ain’t my thang i guess :(

[ellewod]

when the writing process gets hard, i remember a wise man’s words

[chaneajoyyy]

Do you know any plus size reader black panther fics?

I sure do!!!

PLUS SIZE READER X T’CHALLA

- golden girl, fingers dipped in gold series, early morning concerts, do it, a single prick series, singing lessons, lose that attitude, i’ve been going, his sixth sense, nice & comfortable, three kings of dreams, you may, comfortable, possibly, up and alert- @supersizemeplz

- family isn’t always everything, t’challa dealing wth his s/o having guardianship of her little bro, you and t’challa had a really bad breaku but he sees you at an event?, group text: date, in my feelings, t’challa after a hard day funning wakanda, “lemme show you how much i love you”, group chat: plans for tonight, love through tragedy, my apologies my queen, “choose”, lazy days (includes m’baku)-  @plussizeappreciationfics (search: tchalla and tchalla x reader)

-anonymous series, gentle giant series, the twisted ones, selfless series, all the stars series- @cassidyconner

- how the guys for the avengers would react to being twerked on (includes t’challa);  imagine you decided to post a sunbathing picture for instagram, knowing your husband, the king of wakanda will see. everything goes smooth until erik killonger decides to give you a lil too much attention. he ends up learning not to mess with the queen (fake social media au); imagine t’chala and his queen are execting their first child. the world is overy joyed by the little bundle of joy, imagine it ‘s halloween and you decide to dress up as your idol sorm leaving the entire internet shook (fake social media au), imagine it’s your anniversary with your boyfreind t’challa and he surprises you with a trip to the most beautiful beach you’ve ever seen- @papi-chulo-bucky (search: tchalla)

- headcanons: short reader, king of spring, hot cheetos, rays of sunshine, pineapple princess, your highness, jealousy- @littlemessyjessi

- cats, why series, enough for now, jealousy headcanon, lingerie headcanon, nsfw headcanon, kinks headcanon, dom/sub headcanon, height headcanons- @madamslayyy

- queen by spring series, “i have a right to what is mine”, t’challa is straight up missing you, t’challa needs to feel your finger in his hair, imagine t’challa helping you find more peace by bringng you into meditation, wakanda now bath salt baths and tantric sex; your favorite physical aspect of t’challa is his mouth, t’challa and m’baku both like gap tooth play but t’challa like to run it along the outer lips while m’baku likes to work it over the nipples (includes m’baku and sam wilson); cater, matchmakers, show me, to our bedroom (search t’challa x reader)-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers

-miles apart series-  @eriksjournal

- t’challa with his first bbw- @sisterwifeudaku

- he spills series @captainsaveasmut (includes m’baku and erik)

- where are we?, the wakandan boys when the’re sick (includes erik and m’baku) - @sonofnjobu

- al fics- @eerythingisshaka

- learn ya series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- let’s play- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X M’BAKU 

- all m’baku fics- @plussizeappreciationfics

- your cherries, wakandan events & natural charisma series, love berries, ain’t got no time, shadows in the closet, tamed, change in schedule, big baby, intersting theories, why?, forever my chieftess, three kings of dreams, long days and longer nights, i wouldn’t mind- @supersizemeplz

- gaining favor- @littlemessyjessi

- healing gardens series, it’s complicated series, extra credit series, coming home series (includes what’s for dinner?), warrior spirit, diplomatic affiars, fading away, gemini rising: birthday edition, just business series-  @jellybean531

- work from home series, fever series- @mbakusthrone

- warm colors series- @mermaidchansons

- a special visit- @yaachtynoboat711

- tradition series, mr. stamina, truth or dare series, give it to me, the garden,, princess, 2 hours, i’m right here, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes erik and t’challa), would you rather-  @sonofnjobu

-chieftess, giving m’baku a lapdance, t’challa and m’baku likes gap tooth play (inclues t’challa and sam wilson), tradition, watch-  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for m’baku x reader)

- an m’big surprise- @pastelastronomy24

- and i you, my love; hands, his girl, untitled, you are mine- @marvelmaree

- v.i.p (includes erik), you owe her an apology, no i can’t take a break, scraped m’baku headcanon, m’baku titty worship headcanon, whipped headcanon, the prince seires, is this love? series (ncludes m’baku) (with don’t be scared)- @madamslayyy

- fated instinct series, cabin in the snow series, whipped cream a la m’baku-  @greennightspider

- brown skin, oh angel, forever mine, best baba ever, the heat of trinidad series- @artisticestheticreads

- forget his name, our love in color series, a well deserved rest series, have it your way series, satisfied, another heir, what would you have me do? series, full body- @wakandan-flowerz

- crown royal on ice, two left feet, just for tonight series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- mother may i series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- sweet thang series, the best part, bow to me- @wakandamama

PLUS SIZE READER X ERIK

- how i feel, right now, animal, chains series, purple herbs & gardens, risks & new beginnings series, better with time, let’s play, without a doubt, sizzling pans & slow jams, misinterpretations, visions of gold, out business, come through and chill series, nights, slow burn, a siren’s allure, venom, the one, maybe they’re right, sore loser series, i’ll be alright, spooky cookies & vampire fangs, screams in the night series; knock, knock series; imagination, the cure series, poptart man series, this must be our song, conversation starter, heaven is a place on earth, twins?, say it, i’m there, his princess, his for the night, sugar baby series, authority series, baby shark, lemme try, take our time, say the word, sudden reunions series, memories of you, more ways than one, lemme try it again (that’s my face), not in budget, i would like to see it, pease mama bear, she likes me, guess what, times like these, tell me your secret series, he gets it from me, baby see baby do, see what had happened was, who me?, so relax, three kings of dreams, deck the b-…halls?, do it again, be quiet, you so crazy, how that sound?, you’re so handsome, sit still, leave me aloneee, don’t hide, or maybe, send it to mommy, but i’m sick.., you thought i wouldn’t find out, he’d make you his, ballet baba, ain’t that right?, he wasn’t having that, being honest, that’s all it took?, then stop ignoring me, since you can, but i thougth…, jealous, i won’t tell you again series, hit me, no reply, i’ve alway been, you sure?, no more tummy time, toss ‘em, you done now?, sing it baby, doped up, battle it out, for however long, bath time, bedtime stories, i’m sorry, was that so hard?, i owe you that, whatchu say?, hard headed, it should’ve been you, take our time series, baba’s day, whatever she wants, nope, can’t even look at you, not again, nose wide oen, just a bit longer, come on over to my place, fences & bullriders- @supersizemeplz

- all erik fics and headcanons- @nahimjustfeelingit-writes

- all erik fics and headcanons- @eye-raq

- teach me series, when you’re mad series, waffles series, slow ride series, movie night series, let’s talk about sex series, mines, thunderstorm, girl fuck you, eat your breakfast seres (with eat your dinner), secret admirer, amusement park fun, displays of affection, night at the movie theaters, silent hearbeats series, kissing strangers series, worship, loving the way you love it, day drunk, smile for me daddy series, just like you, we goin to hell, breeding time- @thehomierobbstark

- refuge series, champion series, soft series, all dadmonger fics, erik’s getting soft series, erik and his princess, erik’s afraid of live, erik takes care of his sick princess, erik witha shy girl, erik’s created a monster series, afraid of heights, erik loves to spoil you, you want it rough, t’challa’s trusted advisor, first kiss, the legend series, you hurt erik, i love you, erik backslides, the proposal, daddy, accountability, noral, kinky, foolproof, erik ad your burn marks, erik helps you do pole fitness, i do, first date, erik teasing his short gf, erik cuts his hair- @killmongersgurl

- late again, halloween party, imprint, a man in love, v.i.p (includes m/baku), daddy’s home, y’all again?, okay? okay, prisoner of love, family cookout, kiss, what’s cooking good looking, expecting headcanons, food headcanons, crying headcanons, nsfw headcanons, foot fetish series, halloween headcanons, lingerie headcanons, jealous headcanons, kevin’s  heart series, untitled series- @madamslayyy

-carnal stimulation series, next lifetime series, hoe ass erik series, dirty little secrets series, hennything is possible, sunday dinner series (with payback), a.d.i.d.a.s., green goddess, suddenly stevens, beauty is her name, it’s complicated. i’m sorry, the great reveal, neighbors know my name series (part 2 to @hearteyes-for-killmonger‘s story of the same name), the devil speaks xosha, mile high, trap card, act up, let me smell it, up late, i’ll take your man, carry on, dreams & nightmares- @goddessofthundathighs

- headass youtube couple series, fix my crown series, all skate, cutting ties series, #tsrbaewatch,  @apantherinmypastlife

- all erik fics-  @wawakanda-btch

- all fics- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- say my name series, beg for it, the coat room, charley horse, full court press, house party, boyfriend makeup challenge, gumby, the let out series, disorderly, token, all i wanted for christmas is you, hit the showers, neo, erica; veni, vidi, vici, i will be here, trick or treat, the wakandan boys when they’re sick (includes t’challa and m’baku)- @sonofnjobu

- mine, unravel me series (includes belong to you), i missed you series (inlcudes you a’ight and if they ain’t looking), rated e, on braodway, no average bitch,  @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers (scroll for erik killmonger x reader and erik killmonger imagine)

- all tasting mellow fics- @tastingmellow

- laid up series- @pastelastronomy24

- come lay with me, house hunting series, stretch marks, the footbal jerseyy, you sure?- @marvelmaree

- the deal series, nuggest of truth, girlfriend, all i want is you, care for you- @wakandamama

- rated e for extra petty, elbow deep series- @puffmamaa

- she got game, where’s the smoke, s.d.m., from paris with love, where the hoes at? (with t’challa and m’baku), written all over your face, baby bump series (wit cuddle buddy,, and hc: chubby!erik trying old clothes), not in that way, here kitty kitty, computer blue series, chunk series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- all erik fics- @stripper-patrick

- he spills series (with t’chala and m’baku)- @captainsaveasmut

- i’m cleva series, do me baby (part 2 of @killmongersgurl‘s serieserik’s created a monste)-, @killmongerdispussy

- sorry he’s gone, mad issues series, curiosity happy weight- @curls-and-crosses

- nah baby i got you- @inxan-ity (scroll for erik killmonger)

- all fics- @writerbee-ffs

- paragone series- @dynastynoire

- all fics- @eriksjournal

- the sweetest taste series, late night drive- two of a kind series (includes ‘03 bonnie and clyde prequel), beyond the lights series, mad love series- @wakandaforeverwrites

- all erik fics and headcanons- @plussizeappreciationfics

-thanksgiving w/ mr. stevens and the udakus series (with valentine’s gumbo),  @mermaidchansons

- all erik fics- @muse-of-mbaku

- all fics- @eerythingisshaka

- all fics- @artisticestheticreads

*I AM GONNA START YOU HERE!! I KNOW I’M MISSING PEOPLE. SO IF YOU AND/OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW WRITES PLUS SIZE READER X BP CHARACTERS PLEASE HIT ME UP!!**

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

49 Gluten Free Crockpot Recipes for Summer

New blog post! I don't know about you, but during hot summer days, I'm not a big fan of turning on the oven. But a girl's gotta eat...which is where the crockpot comes in! Whether you're cooking for one like me or trying to find easy summer dinner recipes for family, a crockpot can definitely come in handy. That's why this latest summer recipe roundup is alll about summer crockpot meals that will help you create delicious summer dinners (and desserts) that everyone will enjoy...even if they don't need to eat gluten free.

So whether you're looking for keto summer recipes, gluten free desserts that will blow everyone away or just an easy summer dinner for the fam, this roundup has some delectable ideas for you to try!

Summer Crockpot Dinner Recipes

1. Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore (Low Carb, Keto, Paleo) - Joyfilled Eats

Combine juicy chicken with flavorful tomatoes, onions, peppers and a light sauce, and you have a winning one-dish meal.

2. Creamy Tuscan Garlic Chicken (Low Carb) - Wholesome Yum 

This chicken dinner recipe is low carb, high in flavor and only takes 15 minutes to prep before you put it in the slow cooker.

3. Slow Cooker Short Ribs - A Calculated Whisk 

Service these slow cooker short ribs with a homemade paleo flatbread with a little cilantro.

4. Cuban Pork, or Lechón (Keto) - Fit to Serve Group

Serve this Cuban pork with some cauliflower rice for an easy, tasty and keto dinner.

5. Polish Sausage and Sauerkraut Crockpot Meal (Mostly Paleo) - Mom Eats Paleo

If you're looking for an entirely paleo summer dinner, replace the red potatoes with sweet potatoes or parsnips. Otherwise, prepare to enjoy a paleo-ish Polish favorite. 

6. Crockpot Enchilada Stacks (Vegan Option) - Casey the College Celiac

If you're craving the cheesy goodness of enchiladas without having to turn on the oven, these enchilada stacks are my go-to fave! Plus, you can easily use my homemade vegan cheese sauce and shredded vegan cheese to make this dairy free as well.

7. Allspice, Orange And Lemon Crockpot Chicken Thighs (Low Carb) - Recipes From a Pantry

I don't know about you, but I think lemon and orange make ANY protein automatically 1000% better.

8. Crockpot Ranch Chicken - Diabetes Strong

If you love ranch but also love low carb summer recipes, this crockpot ranch chicken is exactly what you need. Plus, it includes a recipe for homemade ranch dressing to use in the bake.

9. Brown Sugar & Balsamic Slow Cooker Chicken - Powered By Mom 

Cooking potatoes and vegetables with your chicken means that you have a balanced and delicious meal by the time your food is ready to take out of the crockpot. Just make sure whatever beef broth you use is gluten free.

10. Crockpot French Onion Dip & Chips Recipe - Recipe This

Soft cheese, Greek yogurt, white wine and plenty of onion and garlic combine to create this tasty dip.

11. Crockpot Tacos with Slow Cooker Ground Beef (Low Carb) - Low Carb Yum

Tacos are a summer classic, and you can't go wrong with ones made using a homemade low carb taco seasoning.

12. Slow Cooker Duck Confit with Pomegranate Molasses (Grain Free) - Emma Eats and Explores 

If you're throwing a summer party and want a dinner dish that will seriously blow everyone away, this duck confit is the perfect choice! The best part? It looks super time-intensive, but the slow-cooker actually does most of the work. You just have to panfry the duck for five minutes at the very end.1

13. Slow Cooker Pulled Pork Tacos - This Mama Cooks

Once you cook the pulled pork, you can use them in gluten free tacos or in a variety of other dishes, from a breakfast hash to sandwiches to soup.

14. Mama Z's Easy Crockpot Lasagna (Dairy Free Option) - Natural Living Family

A classic Italian dish just got a delicious and allergy friendly makeover...

15. Easy Slow Cooker Cuban Mojo Pork - Foodal

Lots of fresh citrus takes this pulled pork recipe to the next level.

16. Complete Chicken Dinner in a Crockpot - My Cultured Palate

There's nothing like coming home (or walking in the kitchen) and knowing your whole dinner is already warm and ready! As always, make sure whatever broth and spices you use are gluten free.

17. Slow Cooker Chili with Mango (Vegan) - Mama Likes to Cook

Vegan chili gets a tropical, summery twist thanks to mango, orange and lime.

18. Secretly Superfood-Packed Slow Cooker Mac N' Cheese (Vegan) - Casey the College Celiac 

No one will ever guess that this gluten free and vegan mac n' cheese is loaded with superfoods, like turmeric!

19. Slow-Cooked Chicken Italian - Fab Food 4 All 

If you're craving lasagna but want something a little lighter, this Italian chicken recipe - full of veggies and Italian spices - is guaranteed to be one of the best summer dinner recipes for you to try.

20. Healthy Slow Cooker BBQ Pork Carnitas - Food Meanderings

This Mexican-version of pulled pork is full of grilled pineapple, red onion and cilantro for a spicy, fresh twist on a BBQ classic.

21. Rotisserie-Style Shredded Chicken (Dairy Free) - Mama Knows Gluten Free

And if pulled pork ain't your thang, this shredded chicken is the perfect alternative!

22. Garlic Balsamic Pork - Jonesin' For a Taste

Pair gluten free balsamic vinegar with garlic and a few other spices for some massively flavorful pork - and some delicious summer crockpot meals!

23. Beef and Broccoli Bowl Recipe (Dairy Free) - Deliciously Plated 

Excuse me as I majorly drooool over that sauce...

24. Whole30 Slow Cooker Chicken Thighs - Good for You Gluten Free 

Chicken thighs get an upgrade from Picante sauce, olives and - surprise! - raisins.

25. Tex-Mex Chicken Stew - Ann's Entitled Life

Serve this crockpot chicken on its own, over rice or with gluten free cornbread for a super flavorful summer meal.

26. Easy Five-Ingredient Slow Cooker Pulled Pork - Fearless Dining

For those nights when you really need an easy dinner. Use the pulled pork to make tacos, sliders, chili, sandwiches and more!

27. Slow Cooker Chicken Shawarma (Paleo, Whole 30 & Low Carb Options) - A Clean Bake

You only have to do twenty minutes of prep to enjoy a paleo chicken dinner with plenty of Middle Eastern flavor.

28. Slow Cooker Moroccan Chicken - Savory Lotus

If you're bored of regular chicken, spice up your summer crockpot meals with this Moroccan recipe.

29. Crockpot Mexican Shredded Beef Taco - Eating on a Dime 

Taco 'bout delicious! ;)

30. Slow Cooker Paleo Chicken Pho With Zoodles (Whole 30, AIP) - Wicked Spatula 

Personally, I often crave hot soup during the summer...and this is a great way to take advantage of my favorite summer produce (aka, zucchini!)

31. Ribs with Apple BBQ Sauce - Family, Food and Travel

This might turn into my new favorite way to enjoy applesauce...

32. Slow Cooker Pineapple Ham - Consumer Queen

Because is there ever a bad time in the year to enjoy fresh ham?!?

33. Slow Cooker Short Ribs with Korean BBQ Sauce - Plating Pixels 

I was sold at BBQ sauce...and then I saw the pictures. If this isn't the definition of foodporn, I don't know what is ;)

34. Slow Cooker Chicken Thighs with Butternut Squash and Spinach (Whole 30) - Mom Foodie

Even if you're not following a Whole 30 diet, this chicken dinner is a major winner.

35. Spinach and Artichoke Dip (Dairy Free) - A Calculated Whisk 

Who knew that gluten free cashews and artichoke hearts could turn into the perfect dreamy, dairy free dip?

36. White Chicken Chili (Dairy Free Option, Nut Free, Refined Sugar Free) - Raia's Recipes

I don't know about you, but chili is a year-round crockpot recipe in my house. And if it isn't already in yours, this gluten free chili could convert you!

37. Baked Potatoes in the Crockpot (Dairy Free) - My Cultured Palate

If you've never made baked potatoes in a slow cooker before, this is your sign to try!

38. Grandbob's Vegetable Soup (Paleo, Vegan Option) - Pink Fortitude

Frozen vegetables make this summer family dinner super easy to whip up.

39. Beef Sirloin Tips (Dairy Free, Paleo Friendly) - Gluten Free Palate

The best topping ever for mashed regular or sweet potatoes!

40. Slow Cooker Pork Tacos in a Bowl - Attainable, Sustainable

Serve this tender pork roast in a bowl or with a gluten free tortilla.

41. Shredded Chile Chicken - Nibble and Dine

Also known as the opposite of bland, dry chicken.

42. Slow Cooker Chicken and Sweet Potato Dinner (Dairy Free) - The Magical Slow Cooker

Because sometimes, nothing hits the spot like some tasty chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner!

43. Slow Cooked Lamb Rogan Josh (Grain Free, Low Carb, Paleo, Refined Sugar Free) - Emma Eats and Explores

I've never cooked with lamb before, but the pictures of this curry have me adding it to my bucket list!

Gluten Free Crockpot Dessert Recipes

44. Pumpkin Pie Pudding - My Cultured Palate

I'm a pumpkin all time of the year kind of girl...and I bet this pudding could make any pumpkin doubter feel the same way!

45. Slow Cooker Mixed Berry Cobbler (Paleo) - Wicked Spatula 

No one will ever believe this cobbler is paleo - and cooked in the slow cooker!

46. Apple Cobbler (Specific Carbohydrate Diet, Paleo, Sugar Free) - Thirty Something Supermom 

You can have your apple pie AND eat it in a cool kitchen, too! ;)

47. Slow Cooker Granola (Keto Granola, Low Carb, Grain Free) - Recipes From a Pantry

Mix some gluten free nuts and seeds with shredded coconut, spices and a few other ingredients for an easy breakfast or dessert you can leave cooking in the crockpot.

48. Crockpot Chocolate Fudge - From Val's Kitchen

For all my fellow chocoholics out there...

49. Peach Blueberry Cobbler - Boulder Locavore 

Have a gluten free cake mix you want to use up without turning on the oven? Use it to make a delicious fruit cobbler. GENIUS!

My Wish For You This Summer...

That you:

Eat more of the foods you really like. Aren't afraid to experiment in the kitchen with a new recipe or a unique ingredient. Enjoy some foods that fuel your body and others that fuel your soul. 

And I hope this round-up of easy summer crockpot recipes gives you some delicious ways to check off all those boxes!

What is one of your favorite meals to eat during summer? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Y7aUpy

[bestialsadist]

Tha One Who Cried Wolf - Pt. 1-2

Part 1:

Yanked out mah sleep, I shoot mah head up an’ turn ‘round tryin’ ta’ see whea I’m at. Get mah bearin’s. I’on’t ‘memba passin’ out on tha couch last night. Mah wif’ ain’t nex’ ta’ me so I figga she went ta’ bed an’ ain’t e’vn try’ta’ wake me up. Dis’ere rude ass awakenin’s from mah cell rattlin’ off tha table like uh demon dun hopped inside tha shi’ an’ I a’most break tha damn thang tryna grab it ta’ stop it. Grumblin’ wit’ squinty eyes an’ blurred vision, I pump in mah password an’ see “C. DNA” pop up on mah screen.

“Ugh…Fuck.” Mah voice groggy an’ filled wit’ exhaushun.

TEXT: We need 2 talk.

TEXT: Fuck off. It’s 2am.

TEXT: I’m not joking, babe. We need 2 talk. Now.

TEXT: Fuck. OFF.

“Babe?”

Is dis fuckin’ slut crazy?

Cassie Malroux’s uh lil’ blonde piece uh ass I was playin’ wit’ on tha side uh few months back bu’ I tossed ha out wit’ tha trash. Ain’t sho’ why she come callin’ me na. We ain’t end on gud terms. Chea gottuh lil’ too big fa’ ha own fuckin’ britches. Na I a’mit, she was scratchin’ uh lil’ itch fa’ me. Catchin’ mah tendency ta’ roam e’vry na an’ den. She was takin’ mah mind off shi’ I cain’t seem ta’ shake. Somthin’ I needed. Bu’ chea mo’ tro’ble den she worth.

Firs’, it was lil’ shit. Ha callin’ me when she kno’ I’m wit’ mah fam’ly. Ha makin’ lil’ co’ments afta we fuck ‘bout sendin’ pictuas ta’ mah wif’ an’ postin’ shi’ on ha Snap. Ha talkin’ shi’ ‘bout me not claimin’ ha. Ha talkin’ ‘bout luh like I was tha o’ly one listenin’ whil’ we had tha whol’ yah jus’ uh fuck talk. Den chea’d laugh it all off an’ act lik’ she jus’ playin’ ‘round. I tol’ ha on mo’ den one occashun, don’t fuck wit’ ma fam’ly.

Chea ain’t get tha message, an’ she rea’ly lost ha gahdamn mind.

Messin’ ‘round wit’ ha fa’ too long gave ha tha wrong idea ‘bout wha’ dis’ere was. Uh fuck hea an’ nea. Uh ‘scape. Uh distracshun from alla twisted shi’ swirlin’ ‘round mah head I aint tryna deal wit’. Bu’ I came ta’ mah senses uh coupla months ago an’ ended tha shi’ when tha stupid slut tried ta’ catch me at tha grocery sto’ wit’ mah fuckin’ daughta. I cain’t e’vn say tried rea’ly ‘cos she -did- catch mah ass. Cornah’d me by tha fuckin’ meats an’ grabbed -mine.-

I a’most killed tha white trash bitch right thea an’ den.

Nika was down tha c’real an’ snack aisle wit’ tha basket so she ain’t see nothin’, bu’ if she had, dis bitch wuldn’t be seein’ shi’ else fa’ tha rest uf ha life. In one swift move, I grabbed ha throat an’ shoved ha through tha hangin’ plastic flaps dat lead ta’ tha back uf tha sto’ whea da sto’ stock at. I ain’t seen nobody ‘round when I slammed ha stupid ass ‘gainst tha crates uf milk, so I tightened mah grip on ha throat an’ growled through gritted teeth.

“Tha fuck yah doin’ hea?!”

Scratchin’, swingin’, an’ fightin’ fa’ ha life, I land uh vicious smack ‘cross ha face ta’ make ha focus an’ ansa me. Make ha learn ha le’son. Chea dun crossed uh line. One dat ain’t so e’sy ta’ come back from when it come ta’ me. Beggin’ fa’ air wit’ tears streamin’ down ha face, I’on’t let ha go ‘til I seen tha blood rushin’ from ha skin, makin’ ha pastey like death was knockin’ on ha do’. Chea ain’t no match fa’ me, bu’ she uh fighta an’ I getta lil’ thrill outta ha thankin’ ha scratchin’ was ‘bout ta’ sway me from makin’ mah fuckin’ point. Wit’ blood vessels blown an’ skin turnin’ uh ligh’ shade uh blue like ha eyes, I shove ha ta’ tha ground an’ watched ha choke, tryin’ ta’ grasp fa’ air.

Nose flared, brows knitted, an’ mah baritone still inna uh growl, “I ain’t ‘bout’ta fuckin’ repeat mah’self, bitch.”

Coughin’ an’ carryin’ on, she try’ta’ ansa me, “I…I… jus’…wan…wanted to… see you…’Tiste…”

I’on’t need ta’ hea no’mo. Ha thankin’ she culd come fin’ me an’ corna me ‘cos “she wanna see me” was grounds ta’ feed tha bitch ta’ tha gatas. Bu’, I’on’t. Tha tramp o’viously gotta deathwish an’ I ain’t ha fuckin’ Genie. I step closa. Chea jumped, pushin’ up ‘gainst tha crates uf milk. She’on’t care if she culdn’t get no furtha a’way, she jus’ tryin’ta’ get as far ‘way from me as she can right na. Terror in ha eyes ‘xactly wha’ I wanted ta’ see when I kneeled down in front uf ha. Takin’ uh deep breath, I inhale ha fear like mah opioids tha lil’ white housewif’s pop befo’ dey mornin’ coffee. Ta’ uh predata, tha scent’s like mama’s sweet potata pie. Leanin’ closa an’ starin’ at ha, I wan��ed ha ta’ see tha whites uf mah eyes. Feel tha heat uf mah anag. Hear tha roar in mah voice dat all make it clea, ‘dis ha last straw.

“Yah hea me an’ hea me well, bitch. Yah no longa ‘xist ta’ me. Don’t call me. Don’t try’ta’ see me. Don’t come mah fuckin’ way. If yah do, I swea I’ll be tha last face yah eva see.”

Three o’ fo’ months lata an’ dis’ slut’s textin’ me at 2AM. O’viously she’on’t thank fat meat’s greasy.

TEXT: I’m pregnant. Urs. Come now or my next txt is 2 ur wife.

Mah mind go blank as I read an’ reread an’ reread dis’ere text. “I’m pregnant.” Fa’ uh split s’cond I swalla mah tongue. Any man wuld, e’vn if he kno’ it ain’t no way he knocked ha up. I’on’t know what pissed me off mo’, ha claimin’ she gotta baby o’ ha threatenin’ ta’ text mah wif’.

I thank bof uh gud re’son ta’ fuck ha slut ass up. I guess I ain’t reply quick enuf ‘cos she text a‘gin.

TEXT: Think I’m playing?

I sit up an’ pull on mah black boots befo’ I text ha back.

TEXT: omw TEXT: Can’t wait 2 cu…

Part 2:

I’m fumin’. Re’dy ta’ tear ha head from ha shuldas an’ eat ha mah’self.

Tryin’ not ta’ wake no’body in tha house, I grab mah keys, cell, jacket, an’ uh untra’ceable glock befo’ I hop in mah dark truck ta’ head ova thea. Not mah Harley, bu’ mah -otha- truck. Windo’s down, tha breeze from mah speedin’ keepin’ tha heat risin’ unda mah skin cool bu’ it ain’t keepin’ me calm. Not dat I thought it wuld. Grindin’ mah teeth, I slam uh fist ‘gainst tha steerin’ wheel.

“Crazy fuckin’ bitch!”

Darkened eyes dartin’ from mah rearview ta’ the road ahead, I cain’t get ta’ ha house fast enuf. I knew chea was uh lil’ off tha rails an’ part uf dat’s wha’ turned me on ‘bout ha. Ha feistiness. Uh slick mouf. Bu’ I ain’t ‘xpect ha ta’ play games wit’ mah fam’ly. Threaten ta’ fuck wit’ mah wif’. I ain’t ‘xpect ha ta’ be -dat- fuckin’ off ha shi’.

“Yah shulda fuckin’ killed tha bitch when she pulled da shi’ wit’ Nika. Yah shulda bit ha fuckin’ head off.”

Mah wolf’s howlin’ deep inside, tellin’ me how much uf uh fuckin’ idjit I am fa’ not goin’ wit’ instincts. I kno’ tha walkin’ tramp stamp ain’t got mah baby in’ha belly. Bu’ chea threatenin’ ta’ call mah wif’ ain’t some shit I can jus’ ignore. Ain’t some shi’ I -wuld- ignore. Mah jaw clenches. “Can’t wait 2 c u.” Ha smug ass grin flashin’ in mah head like uh bull’s eye. She’on’t kno’ mah wif’d kill ha ass befo’ I e’vn got ahol’ uf ha. Shi’, she’d kill me too. It wuldn’t end how she thank. Bu’ dat ain’t tha point. Anybody who kno’ me, hate me o’ not. Yah’on’t fuck wit’ Z. Yah breaths be numba’d afta dat.

Mah eyes flashin’ gold in tha rearview, I take uh deep breath ta’ calm down an’ park uh lil’ ways from ha house. She ain’t got uh’lot uf neighbors, bu’ I ain’t rea’ly wanna be seen ‘round hea ta’night. Wit’ uh black hoody jacket, T-shirt, jeans, an’ boots, no’body’d kno’ who I am o’ see any identifyin’ markas uf me. ‘Cept mah height an’ build bu’ dat ain’t enuf fa’ an arrest, less dey can place me hea. Bu’ I slotch uh lil’ whil’ I walk anyway , jus’ ta’ make mah size jus’ uh lil’ unclea. Befo’ I e’vn get ta’ ha side do’, chea open tha do’ like she been waitin’ by tha windo ‘till she heard me comin’. Wearin’ nuthin’ bu’ uh lil’ black bra an’ panties an’ uh big, blue-eyed smile, she damn’nea hops at me, hopin’ I’ma catch ha stupid ass.

“Babe, I’m so happy you came!”

I step aside starin’ at ha like she uh like she lost ha mind, watchin’ ha stumble tryin’ta’ catch ha footin’. Not an ouce uf ha excitement gets givin’ back ta’ ha. Me bein’ pissed off clea in mah tone, “Is yah fuckin’ nuts?! Get yah ass in tha gahdamn house! I ain’t come alla ‘way ova hea ta’ fuck wit’yah.”

Dis’ shi’ cain’t be real. She cain’t hav’ dis many fuckin’ screws loose?

“But, I missed you!”

Shi’, chea rea’ly got dis’ many screws loose.

Givin’ ha tha look uf death, I point fa’ward an’ push ha back ta’ ha damn do’.

“I’on’t gih uh fuck if yah missed parole, Cassie. Get in tha gahdamn house an’ put’cha fuckin’ clothes on, na!”

Draggin’ ha feet an’ smackin’ ha lips, she do as I say an’ I close an’ lock tha do’s behin’ us. Pullin’ off mah hoody an’ dark beanie, I watch ha cop uh attitude, stumpin’ an’ smackin’ ha lips.

“C’mon, ‘Tiste. Don’t be like that. I missed you. Didn’t you miss me?”

Standin’ a’most lost fa’ words.

“I’m hea ‘bout dis’ere baby shit! Dat’s tha o’ly re’son I’m hea, Cassie. Stop playin’ games.”

I ain’t rea’ly care ‘bout ha ansa. I kno’ she ain’t carryin’ mah cub. One, I’on’t raw-dawg no’body bu’ mah wif’. Two, I wulda smelled ha carryin’ tha s’cond she opened tha fuckin’ do’ an’ hopped mah way. She ain’t no’mo pregnant den tha fuckin’ man on tha moon an’ I wanna see how far she gon’ take dis’ere BS.

“You must be in a bad mood. Wifey still not paying you no mind?”

It take e’vrythang in me na ta’ knock ha lights out, righ’chea. Numba One rule she keep breakin’ like it’s ha job, keep mah wif’ out ha mouf. Sneerin’ ha way, barin’ teeth an’ narrowin’ mah eyes, she get tha pr’mise written on mah face an’ shut ha mouf, at least fa’ uh s’cond, an’ ta’ ha bedroom.

E’vn tho I ain’t been hea in months, ha lil’ house ‘xactly tha same. Keys hangin’ by tha do’ an’ cell on tha glass coffee table. Uh half em’ty bottle uf ha liquid crack, Peach Cisco—tha drank uf tha winos—sittin’ on tha table too. TV stuck on one uf dem “Real HipHop Hos uf Still Lookin’ fa uh Suga Daddy” sho’s o’ wha’eva dey called. Tha scent uf Orange chicken an’ scrimp fried rice lingerin’ in tha air lika house spray. Tha same ‘ol take-out she a’ways orda. Dis’ lil’ shotgun house ain’t changed an’ neitha has she.

I folla ha inta’ ha bedroom an’ watch ha grab some sweat shorts an’ uh wif’beata ta’ pull on. Leanin’ ‘gainst ha bedroom do’way, I look ha up an’ down, wonderin’ wha’ tha fuck I was thankin’ all dat time fuckin’ ‘round wit’ ha crazy ass. Chea gotta mouf lika Hoova an’ uh throat deep as tha Gulf. -Dat’s wha’.- I ain’t so young, bu’ I’m sho’ dumb an’ fulla “I dun fucked alla way up” cum. Hissin’ ‘cos dis’ fuck’up migh’ cost me, I ball mah fist in mah pockets damn nea bark at ha slo’ ass, “Yah kin talk whil’ yah git dressed, Cassie. I kno’ how well yah mouf work whil’ yah doin’ otha thangs. Get ta’ fuckin’ talkin’.”

She smack ha lips a’gin whil’ she pull out some shorts an’ uh T-shirt. Don’t slap ha.

Cassie turn mah way, “Tiste, why you being like this? Don’t’cha miss me?”

I’on’t gih ha uh s’cond ta’ wonda. “No. Ansa mah fuckin’ queshun.”

Ha blue eyes glaze an’ ha bottom lip sink in ha mouf. I can tell dat hurt ha. I also’on’t gih uh shi’.

“I took a test…A few.” Ha voice low wit’ lil’ hints uh crackin’ as she finish. “It was positive. And before you ask, no I ain’t been with nobody since you. It’s yours.”

I a’most choke on mah own spit from dat bold ass lie. “Right… Whea it’s at? I wanna see it.”

She shake ha head, lookin’ up at me. “You mean the test? I don’t have it. I threw it out.”

I tilt mah head. “Bitch, go find it.”

She looks worried an’ stunned all at tha same time. I ain’t gon’ stop callin’ ha bluff ‘till she tell tha truth.

“I can’t. Trash came a’ready.”

She firin’ tha excuses like she uh CEO an’ we downsizin’. I push mah’self off tha do’way. “Trash came a’ready?”

She nods quick, “Yeah, trust me. I’d show you if I could, baby. Believe me. We’re gonna have a beautiful, baby boy. At least I hope it’s a boy, so I can name him after you and everything.”

Dis’ story catches me off guard an’ I blank-stare at chea. Tha look in ha eyes is serious. “Are yah fuckin’ high? Yah been samplin’ mah shi’ o’ somthin’ ‘cos yah sound crazy ass hell, Cassie? Name ‘im afta me?” I cain’t hol’ in tha laugh dat barrels from mah chest. “Bitch, I wuldn’t let yah hav’ mah babies. Yah fa’got I gotta wif’ an’ yah ain’t it. O’an’ I gotta mini me a’ready, too late fa’ too. An’on’t fuckin’ call me baby, babe, o’ any uf tha otha shi’. Yah kno’ mah name. Use it.” Still laughin’ loud, I shake mah head makin’ mah way ta’ ha bathroom.

“Dis bitch dun lost ha evalivin’ mind if she thank I’d let ha hav’ mah baby. HA! Stone loco.” Lookin’ in ha lady storage cab’net, whea she keep all uh female stuff, I push shi’ ‘round whil’ I look fa’ wha’ I kno’ is thea.

“I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean? I’on’t believe in abortion, Tiste. I’m Catholic. And you can’t make me, you fucking monster!”

I see chea use mah name an’ ain’t speak ‘bout mah fam’ly. Bu’ I hea ha comin’ closa an’ I laugh harda. “HAHA!” Lookin’ up from mah squatted position as I dig in ha bottom cab’net. “Yah thank tha clinic tha o’ly way I’d get rid uf dat lil’ fucka? I ain’t ‘bove throwin’ yah ass down uh flight uh stairs an’ leavin’ yah ta’ bleed ta’ death.” I gih uh sarcastic smile, bu’ I mean e’vry gahdamn word.

She smack ha lips, lookin’ down at me, “Why would you say something like that? You know, sometimes you really scare me. Like you’d really hurt me. And what are you looking for?”

I snicka at “sometimes,” like she fa’got ‘bout me a’most stranglin’ ha ta’ death. Ignorin’ ha BS, uh grin cross mah face when I fina’ly find wha’ I’m lookin’ fa’. Ha spare pregnancy test.

“Hea. Pee on tha shi’. Prove it.” Shell-shocked, she stand thea starin’ like she jus’ seen uh ghost. “Wha’s wrong, chea? Fa’got yah had uh stash? O’ didn’t kno’ I knew ‘bout it?”

Starin’ deadpan at ha, I wait ta’ see wha’ ‘xcuse she got fa’ dis one. Don’t need ta’ pee? Wata in tha kitchen, mothafucka.

“Why’re you doing this?!” Tha crocodile tears wet ha face an’ I’on’t flinch. Ha feelin’s mean nuthin’ ta’ me. “Tiste…stop!”

“‘Cos I wan’yah ta’ tell tha fuckin’ truth, Cassie. Yah ass ain’t no’mo pregnant den I am.”

Standin’ up an’ cockin’ mah head ta’ tha side ta’ wait fa’ wha’eva come out ha mouf nex’. Mah humor’s replaced by irritashun. ‘Fess tha fuck up. Dat’s all she gotta do.

Befo’ I kno’ it, Cassie’s throwin’ uh tempa-tantrum. Throwin’ tha test on tha flo’ an’ stompin’ outchea ta’ ha room whil’ she still cryin’ an’ carryin’ on.

“Fine! I lied! I ain’t taking that shit because I’m not fuckin’ pregnant! I just wanted you to come over and see me! I fucking missed you! I’m sorry, Tiste! I didn’t mean to lie! Or bring your family into it! I just missed you so damn much! Can’t you understand that?! I love you!”

Crossin’ mah arms ova mah chest an’ listenin’ ta’ ha whinin’, I’m mo’ an’ mo’ atta loss uf wha’ tha fuck I saw in ha.

“Hm. Am I ‘posed ta’ feel sorry fa’ yah? Yah thank I’ma drop ta’ mah an’ realize I’m ‘posed ta’ be wit’ yah o’ somthin’? Lemme get dis’ straight.” I count off on mah fangas, starin’ at ha comin’ back mah way. Mah voice thickenin’ wit’ each offence. “Yah lied… Tried ta’ trap me. -An’- yah threatin’ ta’ call mah wif’ wit’ it all. Wha’ tha fuck yah thank gon’ happen, chea? Hm? I’ma profess mah luh fa’ yah?! Yah gon’ crazy.”

She steps up ta’ me, face red an’ wet. Eyes bloodshot. Make-up smeared. Ha nex’ mov’on’t surprise me. She coos anotha apology, ha lil’ girl voice meant ta’ make me gih ha wha’ she want. Rubbin’ mah biceps an’ tryin’ ta’ get me ta’ uncross mah arms, I narrow mah eyes an’ mov’ out ha grasp. Why she thank dis’ shi’ ‘bout ta’ work afta I dun tol’ ha not ta’ contact me is un-fuckin’-real.

Ha tears start rollin’ a’gin. “Wha’ I gotta do, Tiste?! Huh?! Wha’ I gotta do?! I said I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Believe me, I’m sorry! I’ll never do it again! I don’t even have your wife’s number! I swear. I’m sorry!”

Smackin’ mah lips an’ rollin’ mah eyes when she drop ta’ ha knees in front uf me. Hands roamin’ tha front uf mah pants, lookin’ fa’ any sign dat she winnin’ me ova. I grip ha hands an’ push ‘em off me.

“Yah sorry? Hm. Yah kno’ wha’ I get it. Yah lon’ly. Yah missed me. Wa’n’t thankin’ ‘bout wha’ yah was doin’.” She nods, wipin’ ha tears ‘way . “So, if yah really sorry, Cas, go write me uh lil’ ‘I’m sorry’ note. I’ll fa’give yah if yah do. I pr’mise.”

Blinkin’ lika idjit, she stare up at me wit’ doe eyes. “Really? An ‘I’m sorry’ note? That’s all you want?”

I nod, playin’ tha role I kno’ she’ll fall fa’ ‘cos she one uf dem dumb broads dat thank e’vrythnag yah say mean somthin’ otha den wha’ yah actua’ly sayin’ ta’ ha.

“Dat’s all I wan’, chea. I’m jus’ uh lil’ pissed yah wuld lie ta’ me. Bu’ if yah gih me uh lil’ ‘I’m sorry’ note, I’ll believe yah mean it.” I rub ha puffy cheek wit’ tha back uf mah hand. “It’ll be lika lil’ keepsake. Like yah givin’ me uh piece uf yah heart ‘cos yah rea’ly ain’t mean ta’ do me like dat. Right chea?”

I gih ha mah puppy eyes ta’ seal tha deal.

She chews ha lip bu’ buys it hook, line, an’ sinka. “You know I can’t resist that face.” Pullin’ ha’self ta’ ha feet, she go ova ta’ ha drawer by ha bed an’ pull out ha notepad an’ pen. “What you want it to say?”

“Jus’ say yah sorry, chea. An’ don’t put mah name ‘cos I’ma keep it in mah wallet bu’ if somebody see it, we’on’t wanna get caught up, right?”

She offa uh puffy lipped smile an’ nod as she start writin’. I head back in ha bathroom whil’ she doin’ dat. Tha rage on tha way hea wa’n’t useless. I a’ready had uh plan fa’ ha. Usin’ ha towel, I turn on ha hot wata an’ run ha uh bubble bath wit’ tha bottle uh vanilla on tha corna uh ha tub. Comin’ back inta’ ha bedroom, she gotta big ass smile on ha face an’ I kno’ it’s ‘cos she hea’s tha wata runnin’. Uh bath mean she ‘bout ta’ get fucked ‘cos I neva hav’ ha wit’out makin’ ha take uh bath firs’.

She sat ha notepad on tha bedside dressa drawer an’ start pullin’ off ha wifbeata. I graze mah hand ‘long ha bare stomach ta’ getta look at ha note an’ keep ha distra’ted. “I’m so, so sorry. Please, forgive me. - C ☹”

Shor’ an’ sweet.

“Perfect, chea.” I gih ha uh playful smack on tha ass. “Go’on, go git in tha tub fa’ me.”

She squeaks an’ wipes ha eyes wit’ uh big smile still on ha face, “You coming with me for once?”

“I’ma come in thea inna s’cond. Lemme get uh bea firs’.”

She nods, buyin’ e’vrythang I’m sellin’.

“Ok! Hurry, the water’s perfect! You know just what I like, ‘Tiste…”

Cassie’s none tha wisa. One thang ‘bout me, I’on’t break mah pr’mise. -Eva.- Headin’ back in tha front room, I pull out mah latex gloves an’ pull ‘em on. Nex’ I pull out mah 45 an’ attach uh silenca befo’ headin’ ta’ ha kitchen ta’ grab ha sharpest knife wit’ mah gloved hands. Slidin’ tha gun in mah denim pocket an’ slipin’ ha knife in mah leatha sheath attached ta’ mah belt, so it’s hidden behin’ mah 7in Bowie knife, I grab ha cell an’ slip it in mah otha pocket fo’ I head back in thea.

I catch ha in thea, eyes closed, an’ enjoyin’ ta’ bath. “Whea yah laptop, chea?”

She open ha eyes, confused. “I don’t have one. Remember, I asked you to get me one?” “Oh, dat’s right. I fa’got. No otha tech stuff? iPad o’ somthin’? Christmas is ‘round tha corna.”

Grinnin’ wide, she shake ha head lika lil’ kid. “Nope. You saying you getting me one of those?”

Mah questions jus’ ta’ see if she got any otha shi’ layin’ ‘round dat migh’ hav’ some ev’dence uh me bein’ in ha life ‘cos I’d take dat too.

“If yah be gud fa’ me. Yah gon’ be gud fa’ me?” Noddin’ an’ lettin’ ha hands slide up an’ down ha body, smearin’ tha bubbles ‘long ha skin.

“I can be good for you. If that’s what you want.” Ha voice get mo’ an’ mo’ seductive as she talk, hands fondlin’ ha bare tits. “I’ll be whatever you want. Do whatever you want. You know that. I just want to make you happy.”

I put ha tha top on tha toilet down an’ take uh seat by ha tub. Somthin’ ‘bout dis’ moment make me shift. Mah heart beat uh lil’ fasta. Mah dick twitch jus’ uh lil’. I lick mah lips an’ lean close ta’ ha as I pull ha knife from mah side.

“I o’ly wan’cha ta’ do one thang fo’ me, yah? Kill yah’self.”

Starin’ wide-eyed at me, I kin tell she ain’t sho’ wha’ I mean. So, I set ha knife on tha edge uf tha tub an’ point ta’ it.

“Pick up tha knife, open up yah thighs, an’ kill yah’self.”

Tha air stifles. Ha heart start crashin’ ‘gainst ha ribcage. Fear ain’t o’ly stampin’ ha face, it’s fillin’ tha air. I kin tell she ‘bout ta’ scream bu’ I’on’t gih ha tha chance. Pullin’ out mah 45 an’ pointin’ it dead at tha centa uf ha head, I catch ha jus’ as uh cry come out ha mouf.

“Uh-uh. Na if yah scream, I’ma hafta splatta dat pre’ty lil’ face uf yah’s all ova dis’ere bathroom. Bu’ den it’ll get all messy an’ I ain’t in tha mood fa’ dat, yah. So, be uh big gurl an’ open up uh a’tery. Yah’ll go fast.”

Tears come runnin’ down ha face a’gin. Lips quiverin’. Head an’ body shakin’.  

“Don…Don’t…make…me… do this, Tiste…Pl…plea..please…”

Tappin’ mah silenca ‘gainst ha mouf, I shake mah head wit’ uh sinista grin.

“I won’t repeat mah’self, chea. I pr’mised yah I’d be tha last face yah see if yah ain’t lis’sen. Yah -ain’t- lis’sen. Bu’ go’on, try me if yah won’t’ta’. I got no bones ‘bout blowin’ yah fuckin’ head off.”

Chea, tremblin’ an’ whimperin’ as she grab tha knife. Na, I kno’ dis’ uh risk ‘cos she kin cut me if she rea’ly wanted ta’. Bu’ dis’ uh foo’s dream. Many thank dey’d be dat one ta’ figh’. Ta’ go down swingin’. Ta’ take ‘em down wit’cha. Bu’ mos’? Jus’ die. Mah gun right b’tween ha eyes makin’ mah sincerity real fa’ ha too. I point mah gun ta’ ha uppa thigh an’ ha whol’ body jump. Terrified.

“Righ’chea. Deep.”

Relu’tantly an’ wit’ shaky hands, chea slice open right thigh an’ cry out from tha pain. Tha red mist fill tha hot wata quick as she doubles ta’ tha side, mouf wide bu’ barely any sound comin’ out. She press ha fac ‘gainst tha cold bath tiles, snot an’ tears smearin’ ha flushed flesh—she ac’tually get up tha nerve ta’ cry out loud fa’ help. Real quick, I shove mah silenca in ha mouf, release tha safety, an’ pull back tha chamba ta’ sho’ ha it’s loaded.

“Open casket o’ closed. Yah choice, chea.”

Chokin’ an’ cryin’ ‘round mah metal, she shake ha head, eyes lowerin’ an’ beggin’ me not ta’ pull tha trigga. I ain’t looked ‘way from ha face. Ha eyes. I wanna see tha s’cond ha life ends. Ha heart pumpin’ fast. Tryin’ta’ make up fa’ tha blood she losin’. Chea lookin’ uh lil’ drowsey. I pull mah gun from ha mouf when I hea ha pulse slo’.

“I’m sorry…”

Tha two words ain’t no louda den uh whispa. Chea ain’t got tha enagy ta’ do much mo’. Tha an’mal in me can smell death comin’. It’s knockin’ on ha do’. Ha breathin’s shallo an’ slo’. Tha steam comin’ off tha wata make tha scent uf ha blood uh heady mixture wit’ ha sufferin’. Wit’out hesitashun, I shake mah head wit’ uh deadpan expresshun.

“Too late fa’ dat, chea.”

Uh few mo’ tears roll down ha face fo’ ha body slump ta’ tha side. Lips parted bu’ no air comin’ out. Tha pumpin’ uf ha heart come ta’ uh stop. It o’ly take uh few minutes ta’ bleed ta’ death when uh maja a’tery open. If chea eyes wa’n’t starin’ right at me, I’d thank she migh’ jus’ be passed out from tha blood lost bu’ ain’t no Cassie ‘dea. Tha light in ha blue eyes gon’ out. Two fangas ta’ tha side uf ha neck, I check ha pulse an’ make sho’ wha’ I smell is right.

Chucklin’ an’ gettin’ up, I grab ha test off tha flo’ an’ put it back in ha cab’net.  

“Pr’blem solved.”

____

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 12-19-17]

[mistermexico-blog]

Favorite Songs of 2016

21 tracks that moved me in 2016. 

Celebrate by Anderson .Paak

In my humble opinion, 2016 was the year of Anderson .Paak. Like many, .Paak (pronounced pok) first graced my ears on Dr. Dre’s Compton.  In early 2016 he dropped the soul/funk/hip-hop masterpiece Malibu, of which I could put almost every damn song on this list (and he did sneak his way onto this list multiple times). Celebrate literally brought a tear to my eye.  I was driving, and the song hit my face with a wave of emotion. This song wins with simplicity. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that simply being alive is a gift in itself-- so why not celebrate?

Favorite Lyric: It’d be a bad look talkin’ bout what could of been, so lets celebrate while we still can”

Also check out: The Bird

Celebrate VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SKpOW_o8Do

Forever’s Gone (ft. Na’el Shehade & Via Rosa) by Drama Duo

This song is beautiful. New age, bassy edm production laced with the voice of an angel.  You can kick back and chill with it, or get lifted and dance to it. That is something special, folks...to me at least. I’m excited to see where this duo out of The Windy City ventures next.

Favorite Lyric: “And I’ll love you far, after forever’s gone, and I’ll be here long, after forever’s won”

Also check out: Low Tide

Forever’s Gone VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVZRKAGD-kw

Cash Machine by D.R.A.M.

After Drake’s Hotline Bling allegedly jacked Big Baby D.R.A.M.s Cha Cha (the production is strikingly similar), I was very happy to have discovered this guys catalogue. Cash Machine is that feel good Chicago style piano driven jam (prod. by Ricky Reed) that makes you want to celebrate success. I took the crew to see him in Seattle and had the pleasure of a spacious front row viewing in an iconic intimate venue (Neumos). Dude can really sing, too!

Favorite Lyric: “I'm in the sky like all the time and now it's no layover, my records all across the wave and there was no payola”

Also check out: Broccoli

Cash Machine VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rx0eqQl8wk

Stupid Rose by Kweku Collins

My brother & I brought back “ghostriding the whip” to Stupid Rose this summer in Lake Chelan, a short and sweet highlight of the summer for me. Not the traditional song for such an extremity, but if felt right. His rap/sing style seems to come from a very natural place; hippy vibes, educated, rides the rhythm like a joyride pilot? Is this the result of the legalization of pot? Either way, this killer D’Angelo flip is a hypnotic warped out bouncy son of a bitch.

Favorite Lyric: “’Til she sat across from me my curiosity coiled like a snake around a finger”

Also check out: Death of A Salesman

Stupid Rose VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl6OW07A5q4

Show Me Love (Skrillex Remix) ft. Chance The Rapper, Moses Sumney, Robin Hannibal by Hundred Waters 

This song was hot, then I watched the video and for some reason fell in love. It gave me chills. I’m assuming it was shot in LA, but it’s a gloomy day and they’re just running around the city enjoying themselves. Chance the Rapper brings the best energy to every track he graces-- just anticipating his verse gets me hyped! Great message here too.

Favorite Lyrics: “Don’t let me show cruelty though I may make mistakes, don’t let me show ugliness though I know I can hate”

Also check out:

Show Me Love VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5bAVKzrBzI

Crazy Dream ft. Loyle Carner by Tom Misch

My guy Chase Decker threw this on a video he made and I HAD TO KNOW WHO THE FU$K IT WAS. I dug into the London prodigy’s Spotify/youtube accounts back in early Spring and continue to visit them on the regular. He plays guitar like a boss and sings like a swoon, bringing an incredibly sexy rock element to hip-hop. 

Favorite Lyric: “I had a dream about you last night, and we were listening to Pharcyde”

Also check out: Beautiful Escape

Crazy Dream VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa5HNkGrl8E

Real Friends (ft. Ty Dolla $ign) by Kanye West

This was one of the first songs I heard at the start of the Pablo run. I wish every song on the album was in this vein. This is as close as we’ve got to “old Kanye” to date. They snagged a sample from Couches by Frank Dukes and that just might be the kicker. Definitely a nostalgic, dreamy feel, Kayne getting a little vulnerable, Ty Dolla doing what he does, it’s nice.  

Favorite Lyric: “Who your real friends, we came from the bottom, I’m always blaming you but what’s sad you not the problem”

Also check out: 30 Hours

Real Friends VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUkV-U6_F_Q

Lingerie & Candlewax by Mayer Hawthorne

I’ve been hot on Mayer for almost a decade now, and the man continues to impress with every project he puts out. Definitely play Mayer’s Man About Town at the next function you host/DJ/highjack the aux at. This is some 213 meets Marvin Gaye, fighting temptation in the cadillac, smoking with the boo-thang music. 

Favorite Lyric: “Angel on my shoulder said, hold up, don't touch it, I'm so torn up, Latoya Luckett”

Also check out: Love Like That

Lingerie & Candlewax VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuBlCRYE4rQ&list=PLykkJfCk9HuODiVwhic00RUlnF05jwnSU&index=18

Nights by Frank Ocean

Frank is such a unique artist. Nights, is nearly three songs in one. He delivers these incredibly intriguing lyrics over rather bare-bone guitar and drum. I can’t tell if he’s rapping or singing and it doesn’t matter because it sounds fantastic. The song starts off upbeat then slowly transforms, allowing Frank to change up his delivery accordingly. His content is mysterious; I want to know what he’s talking about but at the same time I get the feeling it’s personal and therefore don’t need to know everything. He coulples up a lot of his bars, allowing just a few lines to coincide together then he’s off to the next subject. It’s a borderline ADD stream of conscious and it’s beautiful.  

Favorite Lyric: “Why your eyes well up? Did you call me from a seance? You are from my past life, hope you doing well bruh”

Also check out: Solo

No audio sorry folks! (Frank’s a boss like that)

Dang! (ft. Anderson .Paak) by Mac Miller

Mac Miller dun grown up! He seduced this groovy Pomo production just right, smooth talking his feminine subject until his honesty pushes her away. In an interview I watched, Anderson .Paak was apparently talking about losing someone to the skies above. Mac decided kept it here on earth and I think it worked. 

Favorite Lyric: “Wait, we was just hangin', I guess I need to hold onto, dang, the people that know me best, the key that I won't forget, too soon”

Also check out: We ft. Cee-Lo Green

Dang! VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR3GQfryp9M

Riot by Jon Waltz

Problems have never sounded so good.  Things aren’t picture perfect for Jon, yet I’m jealous of the picture he’s painting. I’d really like to see a video for this song; so much room for audio irony! The song itself is sonically untouchable, yet the lyrical contrast makes it super badass! 

Favorite Lyric:”We just wanna be loved, we need money and drugs, and a new place to stay”

Also check out: Bang

Riot VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNh34RlmE-A

Jusfayu (ft. No Wyld) by Kamau

While Andre 3000 was snoozing, Kamau must’ve crept in and inhaled Mr. Benjamin’s soul.  I first discovered him by his interpretation/cover of Hey Ya! by Outkast (well played) and instantly had to find out this guys story. He uses a decent amount of VOX throughout his tracks; beat-box elements with incredible harmonic layers. He sings, he raps, he dances, he’s fun as fu*k and despite drawing comparisons to Andre he brings a very unique flavor to the music industry.  

Favorite Lyric: “I’m not a bad guy, I ain’t all put together, but if you stick around you gon see I’m getting better”

Also check out: Gaims

Justfayu VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tim7MeDItPw

Lucy The Tease by Allan Rayman

I don’t have a lot of info on this guy, but he was a Spotify Discovery find and I’ve really enjoyed his raspy chilled out vocals over it’s dirty hip hop production.  Super sexy track. I can see it in some action/drama movie soundtrack in the near future. Waitress seduces badboy motorcycle dude in a cheap hotel? 

Favorite Lyric: “And don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

Lucy The Tease VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o04LHGQwNf4

The Waters (ft. BJ the Chicago Kid) by Anderson .Paak 

The song is too smooth! .Paak rides the beat with such natural, genuine swag, telling his story so effortlessly. BJ lays it down like a young Usher meets D’Angelo. I had the pleasure of catching BJ open for Anderson in Portland in early 2016, and when they took the stage for this song I felt like I was witnessing the reason people make music. 

Favorite Lyric:”And I can do anything but move backwards, the hardest thing is to keep from being distracted”

Also check out: Am I Wrong

The Waters VIDEO: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2R2ticmolk

Caroline by Amine 

Young dude reppin’ Portland, Oregon! Another jam I found on Spotify’s “Discover Weekly” and instantly put in on repeat. So damn bouncy! Every component of this song is catchy. Amine played this like a savage too, being that this was his first release!  

Favorite lyric: “I love your bloopers, and perfects for the urgent, baby I want forever”

Also check out: Baba

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j8ecF8Wt4E

Guru by Coast Modern

This is simply a chill-ass-feel-good-airy-summer song. Take it slow, cool out bruh. Reggae vibes with a hint of Glass Animals. Makes a man giddy for summer.   

Favorite Lyric: “Chillin’ on the sofa, I don’t want to yoga, I don’t want to life right now”

Also check out: Animals

Guru VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6XVrGv2W7Y

Wow by Beck

I recall thinking, “this is in response to Kanye West discrediting him after he won album of the year for Morning Phase” (he later admitted not even listening to the album).  Anywho, Beck’s Wow felt like old Odelay Beck was back in business.  Hints up hip-hop with modern cowboy vibes are you kidding me? This has to be Kanye approved, not that it matters. 

Favorite Lyric: “Standing on the lawn doin' jiu jitsu Girl in a bikini with the Lamborghini shih tzu”

Also check out: 

Wow VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyCkhPTU13w

Need to Know (ft. Chance the Rapper) by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

I feel like Macklemore’s This Unruly Mess I’ve Made was overlooked. Lot of great songs that album. This song was a highlight for me; an honest song about telling lies. Or rather, leaving out the truth. Ryan orchestrated this bad boy to perfection, Mack put his heart on the horn and Chance was the perfect addition. 

Favorite Lyric: “I cry when she smile with her eyes closed”

Also check out: Bolo Tie

Need to Know VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqFztNcQ0KE

One Dance (ft. WizKid & Kyla) by Drake 

I Can’t not have a Drake song on here. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t vibe the f*ck out to Views all damn summer. He recruited an amazing team to collaborate here and the result is this worldly piece of perfection.   I’d like to the video shot at some sexy beach side hostel somewhere near the equator. 

Favorite Lyric:”I need one dance, got a hennesy in my hand, one more time for I go, higher powers taking a hold on me”

Also check out: I’m With You 

One Dance VIDEO: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcer12OFU2g

Dapper (ft. Anderson .Paak) by Domo Genesis

Like Dang!, this is another groove monster produced by Pomo and headed by Anderson .Paak. They shot the video in a roller rink and they were 100% correct in doing so. Just dance y’all. 

Favorite Lyric: “Now I can turn a pussy to a kiddy pool”

Dapper VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_9HNEyLa4U

Neighbors by J. Cole

My guy Jermaine’s flow is straight head bobbing call the fire truck fuego here.  And I think I can call him Jermaine because dammit, I feel like know the guy-- he’s one hell of a story teller!  Apparently the house they rented to record the album at in North Caroline was raided by SWAT while they were away because “the neighbors think I’m sellin’ dope”. All they found was a studio. I believe it’s J. Cole’s altered voice on the chorus and that matters because he’s suddenly two different dudes. This is the Cole I’ve wanted since Warm Up. He might even slip up in my top 5 with this song alone.  

Favorite Lyric:”I been buildin' me a house back home in the south Ma, won't believe what it's costin', and it's fit for a king, right? Or a nigga that could sing and explain all the pain that it cost him”

Also check out: Change

Neighbors VIDEO:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOPgg7qqlcA

COMPLETE YOUTUBE PLAYLIST: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLykkJfCk9HuODiVwhic00RUlnF05jwnSU

ALSO, 

follow on Spotify @ Tyler Roberts “best of 2016″