#shooter ain't wasting any time

[bitawit]

< I wish I knew more about guns so I could really write this properly. But let's practice the old "fuck it, we'll fix it in post" mentality with it. >

-#-#-

I detested firearms. I'll be happy when they finally banned them. They are brutish. They lacked finesse. It was only a step above hitting someone in the head with a rock.

I will never truly understand why someone with magic would choose the explosive brunt force of a bullet over a perfectly handcrafted spell. But I assumed it was the same reasoning people use when they choose beer over a cocktail, it ain't fancy and gets the same job done. Taste be damned.

Still, I can't deny the efficiency of the mechanism.

Which is why, despite my obvious distaste, I find myself drawing my sidearm more often than my wand.

In the grand scheme of things, the quicker a perp is subdued, the better it is for everyone involved. There are only a few spells pre-approved for our government issued firearm, which has been charmed to only fire for me and to protect itself from any attempts to remove it from my grasp.

They all have their official names, but to me they are as follows:

NapAttack, DogTreat, Stoplight, IceBath, and Chillpill.

MY favorite is Ice Bath. It's a sober up spell. Intoxicated people are unpredictable. Plus it's pretty funny when someone realizes they wasted 50 bucks at the bar and they're not even drunk anymore. Also the sobriety lasts for 8 hours and they still get the hangover. It's an extremely effective deterrent among the college crowd.

I haven't had to use Stoplight yet, but my buddy in highway patrol says they use it every day. Either to slow speeders down safely or to stop high speed chases. Only works on vehicles. When they were still working out the kinks, some kid realized the spell didn't work on Rollerblades for some reason. So for one hilarious week until they could fix and reissue our weapons, there was an insane amount of convenience stores being robbed by people wearing inline skates.

NapAttack and Chillpill are very effective deescalation spells. Chillpill is used on a lot of our mental health crisis calls, it places the individual into a non-combative subdued state. They may still be experiencing that mental health crisis, but they won't attack when someone tries to help them. NapAttack is to subdue suspects that become a danger to themselves or others, puts them right to sleep. Those spells only last five minutes each though, so we do extensive training on what to do once those individuals wake back up. But those five minutes have saved more lives than I can count.

Dogtreat is pretty self-explanatory. Turns the most aggressive backyard guardian into your best friend. And after the whole "inline skate debacle" the department covered their bases and it works on every kind of domesticated animal imaginable. From cats to cows, you've got a new best friend.

Our fish and game guys have a wider range of animals, obviously, same with animal control. But it's a useful thing and I've used it quite a few times.

Funny enough, the idea came from a letter some elementary schooler in Kalamazoo wrote to the governor. Gained a lot of traction on social media. She said animals get scared just like people and that she didn't want the police to hurt her dog if he bit them because he was scared. That kind of feel-good policy gets people reelected, and so DogTreat was born.

There were talks of adding a sixth spell, people like the idea of having a "six-shooter" on their hips. But all other spells can be done with a wand and some would be completely inappropriate coming out of the barrel of a gun.

If healing spells didn't require so much concentration, I'd love to add Bandaid to my kit. But we'll see what they come up with next.

All in all, a lot of people thought magic would fall out of favor when guns became popular. And in some parts of the world that true.

But most countries realize that battle magic than can be customized far outweighs the benefits of a bullet.

So far.

Everyone thought that the mass-production of Firearms would render Magic obsolete in battle, but Spellcasters have adapted. Instead of casting from a wand, most mages now cast from their gun.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #212: Men of Deadly Pride!

October, 1981

Here they are -- the new Avengers!

But not the New Avengers (the difference is that the hairy monster they have is Tigra instead of Wolverine).

And they are having difficulty.

I don’t know what they did to piss off Galadriel over here (I mean yes I do, she says it right on the cover) but she is kicking their asses.

A dark queen indeed.

Not much to actually say about the cover. Uh, the composition looks neat! There we go. A thing.

So lets jump inside.

Where in a moody dawn scene, Jarvis walks alone through a nearly empty Avengers mansion, little knowing he is being stalked until

RAWWR! IT IS CAT!

Tigra jumps out to do him a startle.

C’mon, Tigra. Be nice.

You’re the only Avenger actually staying in the mansion so try not to terrorize the butler.

And he was bringing you a glass of milk for your breakfast!

Although he says that he’s dealt with a lot of unsettling things and he’s learned to maintain him composure. He didn’t even spill a drop.

Jarvis: “I must say, madame, that I find you rather more unsettling than our previous resident Avengers!”

Tigra: “Oh? You a cat-lover, Jarv?”

AND DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM EITHER TIGRA GEEZ

Poor Jarvis is even allergic to cats which seems to include giant cat women.

Jarvis asks how she got this way, prompting Tigra to give a very laconic backstory that once there was a human Greer Nelson who got almost dead and then the cat-people saved her life by turning her into a cat-person.

Tigra: “And, so, here I am, one pretty kitty! But, c’mon, Jarv, does it matter how I got this sexy?”

Jarvis clarifies that he meant how she got this way as in her upbringing. Like, why you so rude.

I guess I’ll just be grateful that this is just playful Tigra flirtiness as opposed to ‘i must make out with someone 24/7 oh hey a supervillain sure I’ll make you with you’ hypersexuality she’d have while on the West Coast Avengers, in the future.

Elsewhere, Tony Stark is decompressing from his one night stand, Teri. Admiring her very comfy couch, grateful that she’s still asleep so he can sneak out (Tony, you cad), and lamenting being on the wagon. When all that’s left to drink is scotch, bourbon, and half a can of warm, flat Dr. Pepper, you drink that Dr. Pepper if you’re Tony Stark.

Tony calls his secretary to have a janitorial crew clean up after the party and to send up a dozen roses for Teri.

And then he flies out the window as Iron Man, the Man Who Kisses and Runs! as Teri wakes up and is like ‘hey tonykins what the hell was that whooshing sound?’

Tony, you cad.

And elsewhere meanwhile, Steve Rogers wakes up promptly at six o��clock in the damn morning bright as the sun and raring to go. Disgusting. Truly disgusting.

I joked about Steve getting up at 6 to run ten miles and whatever because of him criticizing Beast that time but its sickening to see it in action.

Anyway, after he damn sings in the shower like the perky morning man he is, he bounces out the window to the first Avengers meeting since the roster shake-up, musing how little they know about Tigra and how he’ll have to keep an eye on her because he doesn’t know if she’ll crack under pressure or not.

And then onto, ok wow, we are just having full pages of individual Avengers going about their mornings.

So we’re onto Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake reaching the end of the night shift he just pulled at a hospital.

Nurse Wilson pretty blatantly flirts with him (thinking to herself “C’mon, doc! Notice that I’m a woman! I dare you!”). Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake doesn’t seem to notice but his thoughts are on her, wishing he could take her out for lunch but that he has important Avengers business.

He then taps his walking stick and transforms into Thor and flies off towards the mansion.

And that brings us to Cresskill where Janet van Dyne aka the Wasp and Hank Pym aka Yellowjacket are going about their morning.

Befitting her blase attitude last issue, Jan just wants to stay in bed longer and cuddle but Hank is desperate not to be late to his first meeting as a newly active Avenger again.

So he’s in costume and ready to go while she’s still choosing which of her many many costumes to wear. Albeit with the ulterior motive that she’s trying to look good for him. She does put in like 90% of the effort into the relationship.

So she’s narrowed her choices down to a red and blue costume and a green and purple outfit that looks like maybe she raided the Green Goblin’s wardrobe. She asks Hank to decide for her.

And he does. In a sense.

He blasts the green and purple number to shreds and yells “Wear the other one!” and when she protests the destruction of her stuff he goes “So what? Like you said you’ve got lots!”

Hmm. We haven’t seen Hank in a while. And he didn’t talk much last issue what with all the Moondragoning. But he’s taken a bit of a level in being a jackass.

And then on the ride to the mansion, the limo gets stuck in traffic.

Yellowjacket: “That does it! You can ride in your blasted chauffeured limo so your two-hundred dollar hair-do doesn’t get mussed -- but I’m flying to Avengers Mansion under my own power!”

And then he ditches. He ditches hard. Leaving Wasp to fly after him begging him to wait.

You’re a bit of a rude, Hank.

Like Hank feared, the two do arrive late to the meeting and he is gently ribbed by sudden class clown Captain America.

Captain America: “Well, look who’s finally here! Now the Wasp has arrived with her new partner -- uh, Yellowjacket, right? We can get started!”

Is funny joke. Its been a time so they’re pretending he’s a new guy and ha ha he’s being described as Wasp’s partner instead of vice versa. What an upset.

And it is an upset. Tigra notices what the other Avengers seem to miss, that Cap’s joke just pissed Yellowjacket off.

And its not helped when Cap mentions that its time to elect a new chairman but Iron Man interrupts to say that he and Thor have agreed that its better for Cap to remain chairman. They did just reorganize the roster and all. Some stability is fine.

Thor: “We choose to waive the elections! Such is our right as founding members!”

And this sets Yellowjacket right the hell off.

Yellowjacket: “Is that so? Well, I resent not being consulted! As the Ant Man I was a founding member, too!”

Iron Man: “uh, of course Hank... you and the Wasp! But you came in late... we’d already decided...”

Yeah! The Wasp too!

But Yellowjacket has some kind of insect in his bonnet and he yells that he’s done being forgotten and treated as a has-been while Janet just silently cringes.  She wonders what’s happened to the man she loves. And why he won’t let her reach him anymore.

The meeting continues but the scene transitions.

To a cottage in an isolated glade among the wooded hills of Virginia. Where the olde talking power couple of Gorn and Linnea wake up. Linnea wants to lay in bed with Gorn a while longer but he decides NAY TIME TO GET UP NOW.

Hey wait.

Hmmm.

I’m sensing... thematic parallels. I’m sure its nothing, though.

Anyway, Gorn is tired of living a quiet idyllic life in a beautiful glade with a woman who dearly loves him, as they’ve done for ten thousand years. His dander is up and he wants battles to fight and glory to win! He’s tired of being safe in the glade, protected by Linnea’s power. He’s a warrior, not a farmer!

(I see no evidence of farming around the cottage, just saying)

And since its either be ditched or go with him, Linnea decides to go with him.

Gorn: “You are beautiful in that gown, Linnea. Men shall again call you Elf-Queen as they did in ancient days!”

Linnea/Elf-Queen: “They also called me witch and devil-spawn! They are ever so cruel to my kind!”

Gorn: “Aye, and once we fled them! This time, if we must, we shall fight them!”

Ah, geez, Gorn. The cover implies this won’t go well for you.

So Gorn and Elf-Queen, him on foot and her on horseback) wander into Washington DC literally looking for trouble.

But before trouble, something to eat. Looking for an inn, they wander into a random restaurant.

Gorn, being Gorn, immediately starts yelling at the maitre d’, who he assumes is the innkeeper.

And here’s a bit of an interesting and not often used touch. Even though all speech bubbles are rendered without <> as is sometimes used to denote someone speaking a different language, Gorn and Elf-Queen Linnea are in fact speaking an ancient language.

Nobody can understand a thing they say.

And they can’t understand modern English.

This is a perfect setup for some farce.

Gorn ends up just yelling that he wants food and the maitre d’ gets the gist even though he doesn’t understand the words. This is Washington DC. A lot of people from other countries wander through. So he shows them to a table.

Linnea and Gorn decide that the maitre d’ is probably the innkeeper’s idiot brother. I mean, that’s probably why he can’t understand normal language, right?

And there’s more culture shock to be had. Linnea is realizing how differently dressed everyone is in this era. None of the men are even wielding swords!

Elf-Queen Linnea: “And the women, Gorn -- ! The way they’re dressed --! Like -- like harlots!”

Gorn: “Aye! Hmmm...” -totally staring at a butt and not paying attention-

Linnea: “Gorn... ?! I-if we stay here... would you like me to dress so? I do not know if I can learn the ways of these women... but for you my love, I would try! Gorn... ?”

Gorn: “Mmm...” -still not paying attention-

Linnea: (Oh, Gorn! For ten thousand years we have dwelt together in solitude, as one in our love! Am I to lose you now, here in this city of temptresses?)

Hmmm.... this reminds me of something.... but what?

A Barry Kaplan interrupts her inferiority anxiety by coming up and trying to hire her as a fashion model.

And neither Barry nor Linnea can understand each other still.

But she senses something of his intentions and warns him that this isn’t a good idea since she’s sitting next to a warrior and all.

Barry is like ‘maybe if I try other languages?’

And then Gorn notices. And Gorn is displeased.

Gorn: “NO ONE TOUCHES GORN’S WOMAN!”

Barry: “I warn you, I’ve had six jiu-jitsu lessons!”

Wow!

So Gorn gets up from that and just bodily lifts the guy over his head (Barry lamenting that he dropped out before jiu-jitsu lesson seven). But if you get the barbarian or warrior dropped into a modern setting trope they’re usually just way better than any soft modern man. So its funny to see this random dink get the better of Gorn, even if its just the preamble to what would have been Gorn delivering a thorough beatdown.

Its just not what you expect to see in this story.

Linnea magics Barry out of Gorn’s hands, trying to defuse the situation but Gorn interprets the situation as her ‘unmanning’ him.

Gorn: “Why, Linnea? Why do you seek to unman me? Is it not enough that your power has preserved my youth and kept me for centuries? Must you now interfere in my battles?”

Linnea meekly apologizes.

And then the maitre d’ comes pissed off that this loud, shouting weirdo started a fight and is going to call the police on them. Until Linnea goes ‘oh right we should pay for the damage we caused’ and gives the maitre d’ a gold and diamond necklace.

And the maitre d’ mentally goes cha-ching and reroutes an order about to be served to give to the big spending non-English speaking weirdos.

When Gorn and Elf-Queen finally leave the restaurant wouldn’t you know it, someone stole their damn horse!

What kind of city is it where you can’t leave a horse tied to a parking meter without someone making off with it??

Linnea once again is like ‘hey lets go home to our nice glade where nobody ever stole our horse’

Gorn: “It is your home, Linnea, where I am but a guest -- nay, a pet kept by your grace. Ages ago, I was a renowed warrior, honored and feared by nations and kings! If I am to be a man in my own eyes I must regain the glory I once knew!”

And then a cop comes up to Gorn because you can’t just carry a sword around Washington DC.

Gorn: “Eh? His words are gibberish but the intent is clear! This blue-clad warrior issues me a challenge! Have at thee scoundr- AHH!”

And then the cop just maces Gorn.

Its not funny like the talent agent tossing him into a salad bowl because: cops. Its still a little funny because: Gorn.

Anyway, while Gorn is screaming and coughing the cop just slaps some handcuffs on him.

And Linnea magics the cop away from her boyfriend and worries over him.

Given this new horrible thing that has happened to them, another in a line of horrible things happening to them once they left their home, Linnea begs Gorn again to give up this quest to fight a random thing to make himself feel manly.

Linnea: “I am so worried, Gorn! The world has grown so strange! There is so much here that we do not understand! Please, let us go back before something terrible befalls us!”

He again refuses and she asks if he would die for his pride.

So he slaps her across the face.

And after all that she’s meekly gone along with his whims and tantrums and whatever else ways to describe Gorn’s exceptionally gornish way of being, she draws the line here.

Linnea: “Go ahead, Gorn -- stay! Win your stupid ‘glory’! I do not care! Farewell!”

And she just walks away into the sky, twinkle, because she can do that.

When she’s too far to hear he whispers an apology but its too late and he sadly trudges off alone into the city.

Wow, that was six pages of just Gorn and Linnea, Elf-Queen. That’s nearly a fourth of the whole issue! We spend a lot of time with these two new characters!

Back at Avengers Mansion, Iron Man and Yellowjacket prep the Quinjet to fly.

Wasp: “You mean we’re going all the way to Washington, D.C. just because somebody there claims they saw a woman walking on air? What’s new about that? I do it every time my sweetie Hank gives me a wink! Then, again, they do have some wonderful stores there! Last time I went there I bought six fur coats!”

Tigra: “Sounds expensive! I’m lucky! Mine’s built in!”

Iron Man chimes in that the air-walking woman also assaulted a cop so clearly this looks like a job for the Avengers.

But when they finish up checking the Quinjet, Yellowjacket says that he’s discovered the ‘sonomodulator circuit’ on his disruptor gun is acting up.

He’s pretty sure he can fix it but Wasp chimes in with a more different idea.

Wasp: “I’ll just ring up Jeeves over at the East Side Penthouse! He can grab one of those doohickies from your lab there and zip right over in the limo! It’ll just take a few minutes!”

Yellowjacket: “You love doing that, don’t you? You love taking every opportunity to flaunt your blasted money! Well, I don’t need your butlers, your cars or your money -- and I don’t need you!”

And Wasp runs off crying that she only wanted to help. Yellowjacket storms into the Quinjet telling the other Avengers to forget Wasp and get going.

Making the other Avengers feel very awkward about witnessing this fight. Cap even feels as if he should do something but doesn’t know what since its a personal matter.

A suggestion? Mandated couples counseling since this kind of thing could affect the team, will be the reason you give? Like. This clearly is something that’s going to cause trouble. Get ahead of it, Cap.

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C. because yes Gorn didn’t just walk out of the book forever alone. He walked into a very honestly uncomfortably stereotypical gang who decide hey maybe we should mug that guy with the sword, it’ll probably pawn for something.

Gorn still can’t understand a thing anyone says but they’re carrying weapons and finally here’s a situation he understands. And finally he also doesn’t get played for a chump. He just wades into the crowd of six and starts laying them out with his bare hands.

This is what you’d typically see for a warrior type dropped into modern world thing.

Oh and then the cops hear the fight and go hey its that guy with the sword that there was an APB about.

And Gorn goes, hey its guys wearing the same livery of the guy that got me with that stinging vapor. Time to run at them with a sword.

So they shoot him five times.

And he dies.

It turns out that Linnea has been watching Gorn from a distance this whole time, apparently unwilling to actually ditch. So she sees him get gunned down.

She floats down from the sky to his side and realizes that he is already dead. The cops mistake sky woman for an angel (but there was an APB out for Gorn so why didn’t the flying woman warrant a mention?) but if Linnea is, she’s an avenging one.

She turns on the cops with her magic and makes them sink up to their necks into the concrete.

Elf-Queen: “Are you begging? It is for naught! He’s dead! DEAD! My love is dead -- and this city, this world shall PAY!”

And she turns her magic on Washington D.C., blasting a building and a helicopter, lashing out in grief at the world that killed her dickbag boyfriend.

This is when the Avengers finally arrive to the Plot, in this Avengers book.

The Avengers just see someone breaking property and go to stop her.

Captain America: “Avengers... attack!”

Of course, Tony being Tony, and kind of a loose man immediately gets distracted at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Iron Man: “Excuse me, miss! Couldn’t we discuss whatever’s bothering you... say, over dinner at the diplomat club?”

Its... not a bad idea. A little bit of empathy. Its just his motive that’s bad.

And also, his inability to speak ancient languages. Elf-Queen still can’t understand a thing anyone says. She does think a flying man in armor is something Gorn would have liked. But that just makes her mad.

So she magics a railing to wrap up Iron Man.

Thor grabs Elf-Queen from behind, pulling her arm behind her back. Its strikingly reminiscent of the Standard Female Grab Area trope but Elf-Queen doesn’t believe in that trope.

Elf-Queen: “You are strong, jackal! Your strength might have been enough to hold even me -- had you not presumed I was as frail as I appear!”

And she throws Thor into what is probably a monument.

Hmm, Iron Man and Thor got dunked so far because they really underestimated this woman because she’s a woman. Maybe don’t do that?

Meanwhile, Yellowjacket is thinking that this is his chance to prove what a star he is, if he’s the one that takes the threat down with his disruptor blast.

While Elf-Queen distracts herself with the dropped Mjolnir, Yellowjacket tries to shoot her with his disruptor from behind.

But it shorts out again!

Maybe he should have gotten the replacement part instead of trying to jury-rig a repair!

Elf-Queen senses the power in Mjolnir and tries to pick it up to better smash the world but finds she can’t lift it.

She guesses that there’s some enchantment on it since it doesn’t crumble the ground beneath it.

SO

So she magics the ground to form a hand to grab and lift Mjolnir.

And then she hits Thor in the face with his own hammer. Hah.

Another for the list of silly Mjolnir loopholes.

Linnea monologues about her backstory because. Look. She may not be a villain. And people may not be able to understand a word she says. But people in comics have to comic.

Elf-Queen: “I am Linnea, called Elf Queen and great is the power I was born with! It transported my love and me across the ocean to this land ages ago in search of solitude! It preserved our youth! It kept us hidden when civilization spread its taint hither! The forces, forms and sustenance of the world bend to my will -- but all my power cannot help my Gorn now! Now, my gift serves only as a means for vengeance!”

Iron Man manages to tear free of the railing wrapped around him just as Tigra loudly pounces at Elf-Queen.

And Elf-Queen just gestures and sends Tigra flying into the air. High, high into the air. So high, so into the air that Iron Man has to fly after her to make sure Tigra doesn’t end up asphyxiating in space.

With all of the other Avengers out of action (or standing around uselessly like Yellowjacket), Elf-Queen turns out wrath on Captain America.

She blasts a building, sending a whole wall at him.

Cap dodges through the rain of rubble and berates himself. He realizes that he should have attacked sooner but he’s been holding back, trying to figure things out.

She’s speaking a language that doesn’t sound like any he knows of. Her clothes seem to be of ancient design. And he’s wondering if she maybe just popped out of the past, somehow surviving from some age undreamt of.

And hey, relatable, kinda. He spent decades in suspended animation.

Elf-Queen throws a lake of fire between her and Cap and Cap figures hey she’ll expect me to go around. So he jumps over it, doing her a startle.

Cap: “Good! I took her completely off guard! This is a perfect chance -- to show her that we want only peace!”

So he stands in front of her, hands to his side, palms showing. Showing no aggression.

Elf-Queen: “You did not strike when you had the opportunity! I could slay you easily now! Unflinchingly you face death! How like... my Gorn... my brave warrior!”

The fight could have ended here. Could. Could have. Could’ve.

Because Yellowjacket has been focused entirely on fixing his disruptor this whole time and has not paid any attention to how the fight has been going.

So when he gets the disruptor fixed, he doesn’t think ‘oh hey Cap is standing there and nobody is currently fighting!’ he thinks ‘wow this is a really easy shot’ and shoots Elf-Queen in the back.

And turns out that Linnea - a person who can toss Thor around - can also weather a disruptor. So she’s just mad. Furiously.

She figures that Cap’s courage was just a bold ruse. So she’s going to kill him. AFTER she throws a car at Yellowjacket.

Yellowjacket: “Oh, no! My sting’s shorted out again! No time to dodge! I’ll be crushed!”

But before Hank can be crushed like some kind of insect, can’t really think of a specific example, he is saved by Jan, who comes out of nowhere and blasts the car away with all of her might.

And apparently car blasting is under that umbrella.

But it takes it out of her and she weakly flutters to the ground.

Hank has mixed feelings about not being dead.

Yellowjacket: “You -- you saved me! You shattered the truck with your bio-electric sting! You saved me! You! She must have followed us down here... probably chartered a plane! She followed us down here, and when I was dead meat for sure, she saved me! Why her? WHY?”

Where are you in your life where you have to ask that, Hank?

Elf-Queen is like well that just happened but I’m just going to try to kill him again.

But Cap jumps in front of her again and very assertively non-aggressives.

Captain America: “Don’t do it! Don’t you see? It was a mistake -- an accident! If only you could understand me! Don’t kill him!”

Elf-Queen: “You dare stand in my way? Can you not see the rage in my eyes?”

But nonetheless, she subsides. The Avengers all re-assemble, ready to rush her but Cap tells them to stand down.

Elf-Queen Linnea starts crying and just walks away from the team.

Feeling a bit awkward, Cap decides to follow her to see what’s what. And they find her crying over Gorn.

Thor: “A fallen warrior! Her husband, perchance?”

Captain America: “Somehow I -- I think I knew! I mean... I’m not surprised! She seemed... grief-stricken!”

Iron Man: “I -- I wonder how this all came to pass?”

They’ll probably never know. The shot isn’t wide enough to say for sure but I think that if the Avengers saw, they’d say. I’m pretty sure those cops Linnea sank into the concrete have finished sinking. So it goes.

Cap says he’s sorry for what happened, knowing that his words will probably mean nothing to her. Language gap and all.

Linnea: “I hear compassion in your voice, brave champion! Is there such a thing in this cold, cruel place, save in your own heart? I cannot forgive your world for what it has taken from me.. but, for you, who are so much alike my beloved... for you, I will go in peace... for now!”

Yeah. She’s never coming back.

This is her and Gorn’s only appearance.

So despite Tigra wondering if she’ll be back and despite Iron Man’s suspicion that she might be a mutant, it doesn’t matter.

She’s done her role in the narrative and she’s gone.

But as the Avengers try to figure out what this was all about, Wasp looks at Yellowjacket with worry. For the issue ends with him still consumed in bitter thoughts and oblivious to Wasp.

And the big next time teaser says COURT MARTIAL! so. Yeah.

We’re coming on to a storyline that anyone who knows at least two things about Hank Pym knows. You probably already know it or will be able to guess it.

I was familiar with this story but only the moment where Hank shoots Elf-Queen in the back and makes things worse for himself. I hadn’t absorbed via osmosis how much of a shit he was being throughout. And nobody ever talks about Gorn.

Which is a shame.

The title of the issue comes right out and connects the obvious dots.

“Men of deadly pride!”

And that can only be Hank Pym and Gorn.

Much of this issue doesn’t actually feature the Avengers. There’s this long stretch in the middle that just has Gorn and Linnea leaving their home, traveling to the big city, Gorn’s attitude getting worse and worse, and finally his death.

Its clear enough that Gorn represents Hank Pym.

Hank rails against Janet for flaunting her money and emotionally withdraws from her and even becomes angry with her. He rankles at the idea he might be perceived her partner instead of vice versa. Feels he’s not being given the respect he deserves.

While Gorn resents that Linnea is the one caring for him. He emotionally withdraws from her. He perceives himself a pet to her. That he was once renowned and desperately needs to regain his glory.

And he just gets angrier when Linnea has to rescue him from his dumb mistakes.

Much like Jan had to rescue Hank in this issue, something that basically made Hank check out of the rest of the issue.

I don’t know what Gorn may have been like ten thousand years ago that Linnea sees him in Captain America most, but he’s a shadow for Hank Pym.

And what’s interesting is how the story looks at Gorn and his machismo. His obsessive preoccupation with proving himself. The story highlights the problems he creates for himself eventually leading to his death. It shows a person that just can’t live in the modern world.

And then the story looks at Hank Pym. One of the 60s style manly men holdovers. Paints him in much the same light. And seems to ask. “Can you live in the modern world?”

The question is in the air.

Its not particularly deep symbolism. But it surprised me that nobody ever mentions it.

Interestingly, if Hank is Gorn then Jan is Linnea. Their personalities are different enough that this might seem strange.

But they both draw the line in a similar place with their partners.

And there was a What If? based on this issue What If? #35 where Hank did die, much as Gorn did. And Wasp became an avenging angel of her own. Taking the identity of Black Wasp and brutally attacking criminals.

She even contemplates letting Cap be killed by falling debris, blaming him for Hank’s death.

All I can say is that this has been one awkward first day for Tigra.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Like or reblog this post. Stay tuned for more of this sort of thing.

[xaviergalatis]

Xavier's Rap phrases

XD'

Fuck around give you my last name

Draco fire

You ain't got mineuts in your phone then you inlove with me

No condom

For the money im a savage

I got a play on my phone

watch me get this money nigga

tired of being hungry nigga

I'm out here popping ollie's switch

this the start of it

bitch I'm high as fuck I can't even roll my weed

there

I'm in the hills

I keep a FN57 and a G Tuck

told my bad bitch let the camera man hit for me

I go 200 and I crash out

love to beat that till it creame up

you see us scorin'

V.I.P in the plural, while yo section borin'

Bitch I got the Tommy no Hilfiger

Pull the checks, receipt stashed, straight to the palm, drippin'

space ghost coast to coast

ride around with a kill tec

he got shot he ain't get back

I got a whole lot of money coming in

ran off on the plug

Justin Bieber

I need a bitch with a real butt

jugg

I gotta know who you fucked in ths room

codine and a lot of cups

niggas think o can o broke

I can not go broke nigga

Xanny, help the pain, yeah

Please, Xanny, make it go away

know I'm misunderstanding

cuz skin complexion

free my nigga out of that jail

every other night another dollar getting made it

goddamn it

hot sauce

balling

Fast car, NASCAR

bag on fire

you gone fuck around and drowned of this wave

every other night another movie getting made

I spend in the club what you have in the bank

hate

my AP going psycho

had so many bottles gave ugly girl a sip

I'm in the Lambo I'm on my way

my money thick I'll never fold

can't really trust nobody with all this Jewelry on me

take you to the smoke shop we gone get high

got the racks and they all C-Notes

in the rental

all vvses put you in a necklace

diamond district in the chain

certified you know I gang

in the morning or the late

you got that yummy yummy

said she wanna fuck the homie we gone team up

my chain straight from the ocean

niggas think it's sweet

got free wifi they ain't got 3g

I really hate niggas I'm a Nazi

breaking the seal

Jesus piece

the audience

can we get married at the mall?

My shooters gon' shoot, can't miss

pouring up lean

backroom

money falling out the ass I got a lot of cash

I don't

just got up out it they like there he go

really spinny

really drippy

Moscow face

hand deep up in her purse

diamonds hitting

hide it in my sock

I'm her dad

xanny make it go away

I want drugs

college

I'm getting sketched out

shoot out

backroom

do the dash

2am in the A

wanna come to my room

Clancy ( ofwgkta manager )

iraq

hunting em down

backroom

foreign

Afghanistan

hell no nawh

every night

switch lanes

no face no case

club going up on a Tuesday

throw that to the side yeah

press my line

I'm different

wanna go it how I do it

i don't sell Molly no more

stupid lil bitch

lil bitch

put this Greek dick i

water

I didn't do it but fo

smoke

smoke crack

I cannot go broke

Octobers very own

Calabasas

locked in

late night in the studio you can't be wasting all my time

100k for a feat

niggas think it's sweet it's on sight

my new bitch ass fat like that ass on Kim k

I used

I used to

pink and yellow diamonds

my diamonds

diamonds hitting

beat the beat up

think it's sweet it's on sight

crying in a bag

I don't write I ain't got no time

if you is my son

I did it overnight, it couldn't happen any quicker

Always move right so my watch is on the other hand

Pullin' up on exes

old man told me this the way shit had to go

I had my best-friend die

In the middle of the hype

I don't give a fuck what you sayin', huh, you already heard w DC DSS as do s sad d so ass as do DSS s as dddßss sadhat I said

Y'all be cappin' online, on the Instagram

A-a-all we do is just go number one (

pass the Draco hit em with this and that

Yeah, take this X every day just so I can feel more

Diamonds hitting hard on my fucking watch (

Sosa take him down for his pack

Fill up my cup with that Wock and that Tris

I been geeked as fuck and stay right in the party

I'm too high, I can't stop it

I just left the bank, ain't made a deposit

n I got his hoe 17 floors up

island boys in this bitch

we 1700 in this bitch

mask on my face so nobody know

can't post no pictures cuz my case too hot

now she missing me used to fuck her till she sleep

had to cut her off now she just a treesh

cracking penthouse views

could a made some guap today but I was too lazy

I took her to backroom

my new bitch

I live in a house with a pool in the back

cut her off

Bitch, I'm married to this X, i

get high than a pelican

Think I'm addicted to guap

Think I'm addicted to Wock

I pour the Tussionex right

Up in that Limo tint, know it's me

I'm

Fuck up my racks then double 'em

Walk in Chanel, we cash that bitch out

Fuckin' that bitch and I'm fuckin' her friend

I just turned a fifty to a hundred

riding around with the stop'

Ayy, how you wanna get rolled up,

Catch me out in public

Y'all be cappin' 'bout the fashion, y'all some Helmut lames

Zay just flew out to LA

Heard that court date comin' up, fuck it, finna run

They say, "How'd you get it up?" I did it everyday

limousine tints

bust all over her face an

Uh, that's his hoe, that bitch, she came to fuck

murder suicide

Thirty minutes later, Kobe told me put my mask on

We go rack for rack, it ain't no cap in my rap (

Talkin' 'bout y'all wet? Boy, my bitch got more drip than y'all

If you ain't up a milli', it ain't shit you should be telling me

fell asleep off a four of yeah

I got the data to turn your body into anti-matter

Everybody let's agree that MC's need a tissue

Left the dubs and fifties at the crib, got a knot of Franklins

Green Nike tech, cutter on me, popping out like Zelda

Shut up, bitch, don't give me migraine

I don't wake up in the mornin' for cereal

Flip the brick, make the whole shit do an aerial

My shooters gon' shoot, can't miss

don't be chasing bitches stack you money up

Burberry pants, I got Burberry tennis shoes

gotta sip slow in case I die quic

I'm bout to sip on the suryp till I drowned

imma iconn nigga u just on icloud

imma thank God I'm not in the system

therapy session I'm in the waiting room reading Forbes

can you catch my drip

come my way

I'm catching a case I'm beating the case

I did not get in Canada

But when I'm in Toronto they treat me like Drake

n I show my face the case you know it's me

all in your girls mouth use her like a toilet

I don't ever get no sleep

[myvelouri]

I'm having a slight break down. This is going to be way too personal

If anyone is allowed to hate their life (trust me there's a lot of people who are) then it's definitely me.

I'll tell you why. First of all, why should I care about this? I say that to myself, but I care a lot anyway.

I've never really been able to have sex like normal. As in, my body just fucking sucks and does weird shit. So, I've said it before. If I have sex or masturbate for more than 2 weeks, my skin suddenly becomes really oily and I get these hard bumps that eventually turn into fat ass PIMPLES and often times cysts. And yeah, they have scarred my face permanently. I get this on my fave, my back, bottom and arm pits. If I stay abstinent and don't jerk off or ANYTHING, I have the most perfect skin. (The permanent scars are still of course there and many have accumulated). And I just feel like this isn't supposed to happen, this isn't supposed to be real, doctors say it's impossible, yet it's happening to me and it's dead ass real. I've done many experiments and changed the variables like a science project, and it WAS one. I can prove this happens to me. But it's not about you believing me. I'm extremely... Heart broken that this is happening at all. My heart starts to shake. Because this seems unrealistic. Still, 15 years later. I still have to deal with this. To cope, I tell myself, well, other people just have acne ALL the time without being able to stop it, but me? I know what triggers it, and I don't have acne at all, but if I don't have sex as much as I want to, then I'm good to go. But my god it's such torture. It truly is. All of my ex's and past FWB actually ARE aware of this "condition" I have. They seem to be totally baffled by it too, and how real it is.

And it affects not just my own sense of freedom and enjoyment... But my god, when your girl is horny and she wants to fuck your brains out and you have to say "I'm sorry babe, I just can't... I can't right now, it'll be bad for me" it hurts the relationship wether she says "okay babe, I understand" or not. It just does.

And on top of all that, my dick size pisses me off. I'm 6'2", my dick should be huge. But it ain't. And here's another kicker, I can't fucking get hard. Imagine a 20 year with a fuck ass dick. Yeah, hi, that's me.

Although I stopped any kind of masturbation and porn for months at a time and it totally helped my erection.. it felt so fucking horrible. Wasting months and years of my life unable to just whack off or have fun having sex with someone I like and likes me.

It's cruel. It's so fucking cruel.

But to make myself feel fucking better, I tell myself, "hey, at least I wasn't born a pedophile, imagine how much worse that would be." And yeah. That doesn't even make me feel better anymore

My heart is racing now, as I type this.

My face in scars, my body just awful.

There's also the fact that I have a condition, a oral one, so, my mouth and jaws never fully properly formed growing up, and my face grew elongated and basically gave me a perma-derpy face. Picture Napoleon Dynamite, but brown, and fat. That's what the fuck happenened to me. It's a common condition. And you can see my school pictures every year from kindergartner to 5th grade and watch my face degrade and retard. It's fascinating to see. But I used to be a beautiful fuckin kid. This condition made me so ugly. I remember before I had it. In kindergarten and before, I have memories of girls all over me saying I was so cute. Girls asked me to marry them in kindergarten. But a few years later, those same girls didn't recognize me. It was traumatic for me. Big time. In fact, my heart is racing even faster right now. I'm gonna take a sip of my alcohol real quick.

Okay. So, on top of all that, I was a heavy kid. Well, luckily for me I'm a smarty pants and I was able to lose all my weight by 14 years old. Super skinny. But guess what? I have loose skin. It's rather mild but my god I cannot wear tight shirts at all. It's awful. I never take my shirt off in public. I've been working out and I can look decent in pictures in a few poses. But it's still horrendous in real life. You can see stretch marks too. I don't mind those.

But yeah. I've never felt free. I still have that insecurity and I usually try to hide my body if the wind is pushing my shirt into my body. I get anxiety and start sweating. It's just mental. I can't stop it, I can't okay?

And here's another thing. I was always really intelligent, very quick, and extremely funny. I used to be the class clown in my classes and even in my family (I have tons of relatives) and I used to be so popular on both of those social scenes. It was incredible. Girls would like me for my personality but wouldn't date or fuck me because they said I looked too ugly and goofy. Yeah, let me tell you, that took a long time to be okay with. I'm not okay with it still, but I won't cry anymore about it. So yeah, my brain, the only thing I cherished. I was amazing at video games, above average in everything I did, I used to help out my friends and family in video games and they'd be so impressed, they'd love me so much. I'd play online and people would go nuts at my skills, even when playing multiplayer games with family actually, I'd do some crazy fast reaction shots in shooters that was fucking incredible. I used to play professionally with a team I had too. I was looked up to in many ways. I was told that too. And so I loved my brain. I remember the quality of life, being capable of joking around, and it was so much fun, what a great gift of life. I'd joke around nonstop, riff with everyone, and I'd always be the one to win and end up making everyone crack up. Wow. That was FUN. It made life worth living and is why I absolutely adore comedy. But... I suddenly was hit with depression. I isolated myself. And slowly, my brain started to deteriorate. I have lost all of my big personality, humor (most of it is gone) my quickness, I'm terrible at games, my brain functions very slowly, I'm terrible at socializing (I used to dominate) and I can't study or pass classes like I used to (I used to with ease) and I can't remember things or memorize things at all anymore. Depression is slowly killing my brain, year by year. It's even worse now.

And now I'm finally old. I have nothing, can't do anything. My depression isn't mild. It was originally diagnosed as "severe depression" and it has killed me, who I am. The real me ain't here. I try not to say that as it makes my sister cry. But I died a long time ago. I'm just a shadow of my former self trying to make the best of whatever is left for me here. I have strong opinions on things, and I can't fucking even care anymore.

The worst part is just waking up. Every day. I hate thinking. But it's all my brain makes me do. And it's not even good at it anymore like I used to be. I wish it would stop. I'm scared to buy a gun. I was getting one for sport. To shoot targets. Not to kill anyone. I mean, it's good for self defense. But I just wanted it for sport. But I'm afraid. Because I think I really would shoot myself in the head eventually. I am so scared of that.

I'm tired.

I'm so very tired.

[loudhaoleinatie]

Danny understood K's concerns, pressing his lips together in a line as he considered his answer.

"I won't be on stage with you, no. But I'll be right in the wings, no more than a few feet from you, and we've got very tight security at the venue. As for a bullet proof vest? We can put one on you if you'd like, but it ain't gonna look pretty."

He took a bite of his food as it was placed in front of him, glad to get something in his stomach.

"At the end of the day, it's up to you if you perform. But if you don't then you're letting these assholes win, allowing them to control you because they don't like your brother, and that's not being fair on yourself."

They ate in silence for a while before K decided she would go ahead and do the show, although she was still worried what would happen. Danny did his best to reassure her, bit soon they were on their way back to the venue and the band was setting up and getting ready backstage whilst the crowd began to fill the auditorium.

K changed in her dressing room, but due to the possible danger Danny needed to be present. The young woman undressed behind a screen whilst Danny watched the door and kept his eyes away from temptation - he was a gentleman after all.

Once she was ready, they went to the backstage area and the band readied themselves, heading out to a cheering crowd. Danny kept his promise, always a few feet from K, hidden in the wings with his gaze constantly roaming the crowd and back to his ward.

They had gotten about two thirds of the way through the play list when Danny was doing a visual sweep of the audience and he caught sight of something in the air. There were wisps of dry ice smoke in the air, and a laser beam was showing in the haze as it moved. Within milliseconds he had tracked it to its target, the red dot travelling over K's chest as she sang.

Danny acted quickly and on instinct, diving for K and taking her down to the ground just as a shot was fired. He covered her body with his own to shield her from any further attack and he looked up to see three of his security men wrestle the shooter to the ground. As the rest of security got the screaming and panicking crowd under control and began to evacuate the room, Danny looked down at K to check her over.

Her arm was bleeding from a deep graze on her bicep where the bullet had just caught her, but Danny couldn't waste time being gentle when there could be more attackers. He pulled the girl to her feet and guided her backstage again to her dressing room, the rest of the band quickly following them and crowding around K.

"Back, get back all of you," Danny demanded sharply, not giving a shit about their good intentions or the fact they were K's friends. They were getting in his way.

He picked up a wad of tissues from a box on the dressing table and pressed them to the girl's wound, putting pressure on despite her complaints and ignoring her while he spoke into his comm microphone.

"Someone call a medic and get them backstage, target is wounded but it's not life threatening."

Star Crossed

@loudhaoleinatie

-she woke up as the sun went down..padding out of the bedroom in her nightgown and socks after washing her face..her blonde hair tumbling freely down her back..hazelly blue eyes just like Steve’s blinking slowly as she looked around then moved to the balcony to watch the waves a moment. She’d gone to bed with a uniform at the door but it was only after a few minutes that she noticed the blonde seated on the sofa in her hotel room and she suddenly turned..holding up the only thing she had as a weapon..a water bottle- Who are you?! How did you get in here?! -of course she could be easily disarmed if he so chose..she was quick but smaller and not trained to fight of course..so for now she held the water bottle up and edged towards the phone but to get to the phone she’d have to edge past the male-