#shitty mom showdown

[shittycartoonmomshowdown]

Mrs. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb) vs. The Beldam (Coraline)

[mysterious-myst]

I feel so validated

AND HEY I FORGOT ABOUT THE KINDERLUMPER AND LITERALLY SHIPPING HIM OFF TO AMERICA, THAT WAS MESSED UP, SHE REALLY IS WORST MOM MATERIAL

Reasons why Mrs Doofenshmirtz should win over the Beldam in @shittycartoonmomshowdown in order of Doofenshmirtz backstories

Dressed her son up as a lawn gnome and refused to let him move, sleep, or eat

She failed to show up for her biological son's birth

Made her five year old son celebrate his birthday by himself

Her love was inexplicably linked to kickball, something that still stands in the present day (where Heinz tries his hardest to win and fails to get her love, but Roger does the bare minimum to win and is showered in her love)

Forced Heinz to wear dresses for a year, when he was not comfortable with it and was endlessly mocked by his classmates for it

Disowned Heinz so he had to be raised by ocelots. He is legally an ocelot, this is a plot thread in multiple episodes. Also no one would come near him because he smelled like pork, so he had to make a balloon friend named Balloony just so he'd have a friend. The pork smell is a result of him being disowned and raises by ocelots.

Did not let Heinz swim in public swimming pools. She would dress him in his swimsuit, and take him to the pool, and refuse to let him swim.

Contributed to the shame Heinz felt about not being able to jump off the high dive (I mean, really?) Also worth note that as just previously mentioned, he wasn't allowed to go swimming - small wonder why he was terrified of the high dive, and everyone in attendance mocking him is far from the only reason!

Gave his mother a gift, a teddy bear that he won from a claw machine. She immediately took it and gave it to Roger, in front of Heinz

Sent Heinz to the store, but the "store" was actually a boat headed for America. Then celebrated the fact that he fell for it.

Showed up in the present day for no reason other than to spank Heinz three times. She immediately leaves afterwards.

Tells Heinz that the Kinderlumper is a monster who will punish him for literally existing. Told Roger that the Kinderlumper was a creature who would reward him or literally existing.

Not a backstory but it'll be downright hilarious if Mrs Doofenshmirtz wins this

Does the Beldam have any of THAT going for her, hm? She killed three children? Laaaame. Where's the creativity? Not to mention, she's not even a mother! @mysterious-myst compared her being on here to a siren who lures sailors to their deaths being nominated for worst girlfriend, and it's not wrong! She's only a mother in the loosest sense of the word. And there's some pretty loose sense in this tournament, some of these women do not deserve the title of mother in the slightest.

And again, it'll be absolutely hilarious if she wins. Think of the fanart! The memes!

VOTE MRS DOOFENSHMIRTZ!

[radioisntdead]

I have an idea.

Mom susan and daughter are reader

How about the reader tries to introduce her husband to her mother??

Good evening my dear! I wanted to see a Susan and Alastor in-law showdown and I wrote a drabble and then some headcanons, so I hope you don't mind, but if you do just let me know and I can replace Alastor with another requested character or an oc or something,

The mother in-law

Susan & daughter reader, Alastor x female reader

Warnings!!

Cannibalism, violent elderly, implied Violence AGAINST the elderly in the headcanons mostly, Susan invading boundaries, Alastor gets insulted by Susan, Reader needs a drink, poorly drawn Cat Alastor in a suit, OOC characters, not proofread, does anyone know a replacement for Grammerly??

Alastor made the most of falling to eternal damnation, seeing it as a new opportunity,

He become an overlord, a cannibal, the feared Radio demon,

It was shocking enough to him that he had met you, and while it did take awhile and a long long friendship he did end up realizing he had feelings for you, a sweetheart of a cannibal, who worked with his dear friend Rosie and asked to court you in the gentlemenly way, with a bouquet of seven roses and a kiss on your hand, He was the happiest lil' deer in all of hell.

He'd take you dancing, you'd do something like reading or taking a nap as he did his radio broadcast, the two of you would go on walks,

It was bliss

Unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it, Alastor disappeared for seven years taking you with him, much to the distain of your mother.

During the time away you were wed, it was a small ceremony, only the two of you and the fucked up cat thing that looked strikingly like Alastor you adopted as your witness.

Anyways with the sudden seven year disappearance and marriage, he never got to formally meet his mother in law that you've told him so much about,

So once everything was settled and you got to visit your dear mama a couple of times, you decided to finally introduce them,

Unfortunately they already knew each other.

Oh no.

Alastor wore his best suit, he even put that evil radio cat into a suit, you wore a lovely dress that matched the aesthetics of cannibal town [Or an exact copy of Alastor's regular suit if you wanna give Susan a heart attack]

He walked arm in arm with you to the cannibal town home your mother lived in, and from the moment the door was opened there was only one thought on his mind.

Oh shit it was Susan, you were the daughter of the Ornery old bitch,

How was someone like YOU related to SUSAN??

Were you adopted? You had to be, he refused to believe that old lady had spawned you in any type of way, maybe she picked you up off the street?

Susan grabbed your hand pulling you in and looking over you, not bothering to greet the radio demon beside you,

"Where have you been I thought you died, Why are you with the guy with the shitty haircut that looks like someone went at him with a fucking hedge trimmer"

"Mama I visited you last week,"

Susan questioned immediately as you laughed nervously, barely two seconds in and she had already insulted Alastor,

you look over to Alastor who stood awkwardly in the door way, waiting to be invited in, the cursed cat in a suit standing by him also waiting to be invited in.

"And apparently you already know my Alasto-"

you were cut off swiftly by Susan squinting at Alastor

"You married the fucking embodiment of red-40?"

Alastor blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You're excused." Susan moved to shut the door in Alastor's face but was stopped by you stopping her

"Ma, please, Alastor come on in"

You said gesturing for your husband and the thing to enter, Susan scoffed mumbling about something as she turned around and sped into the kitchen.

Alastor leaned into you, hooking his arm with yours as the messed up cat clone moved around immediately crawling upon Susan's rocking chair.

"My dear it's not too late to leave and dine elsewhere''

"Alastor please, It's just one dinner with my Ma''

"Who's an ornery old-"

"ALASTOR."

It's a very very awkward dinner, Alastor tried to compliment Susan's meatloaf? He got bullied, you did step in to shut that behavior down but that didn't do much, Alastor tried to help wash the dishes after supper? Susan stood over him watching as he washed every plate and each piece of cutlery, judging him.

Susan did not fear the overlord, and you were concerned.

After dinner was finished and dessert was eaten Susan stared both you and Alastor down as you sat on her couch.

"How long have you been married?"

"Six years."

"Where are my grandchildren then?!"

You hold up the mini Alastor, it's tail wagged slowly as Susan looked upon it with a look of disapproval,

"That's a shitty looking rat, is your husband dysfunctional?"

"Ma, can you not- NO, Alastor put away the tentacles she will RIP THEM OFF-''

AND HEADCANON TIME BECAUSE I am not the best at writing action.

You poor soul.

They can't kill each other because you exist,

It's like stopping two toddlers from fighting except one's well over a century old and your married to the other one,

You're an unpaid babysitter I'm so sorry

Alastor was raised to respect woman and the elderly but he is very close to attacking Susan

He can't do much because he doesn't want to get into trouble with Rosie because attacking one of her cannibals no matter who it is, was a whole can of worms he rather not open, and also she was unfortunately your mother,

He's questioning that, like after this dinner expect him to sit you down and just start throwing questions, like how?

He liked Susan's meatloaf well enough, he could live without it though,

Susan runs into him randomly on the street? She asks if she has a grandchild yet, no? He's getting attacked with the cane and asked if he cannot perform properly Violence on the ace deer

She tries to convince you to leave him and tried introducing you to a random cannibal she pulled off the street, but she stopped after you got upset at her.

Assuming you live at the Hazbin hotel with Alastor Susan visits, she somehow got a key to the room you and Alastor shared so you could be sleeping and Susan pops in swinging her cane, dropping lore

Alastor lives in mild fear, he's changed the locks, he's put Niffty outside the door as security,

Susan always GETS IN.

You have boundaries with her but she breaks them and your working on getting her to stop,

It becomes a hotel wide situation of getting Susan to not break in

She oddly enough likes Angel dust and you use him as a distraction whenever she appears without warning,

You owe Angel several favors.

You are in debt.

Susan eventually grows a fondness for the freak grandchild, she gets clothes, dresses him up and calls him sonny,

Alastor's not the most pleased but it's better then getting asked if he suffers from certain conditions

They sometimes fight over your time, like he's taking you out on a date and Susan pops in and drags whisks you away for tea or something,

They can't do much aside from verbal Insults and glares, but they did get into a physical fight, Alastor got hit with a chair, Susan almost got eaten, Alastor sent Niffty on her and she almost got stabbed

You threatened to tell Rosie and they both stopped, thankfully

Susan keeps divorce papers on hand just in case you ever change your mind, she's not afraid to attack an overlord, this woman is down below for a reason and she is FERAL.

If she catches Alastor chompin' down on your arm he's getting whooped with a cane and the both of you are getting a full lecture on if he's doing anything he's not supposed too, and if he is, he needs to go.

Alastor is very adamant that he would never intentionally harm you apparently the BITING DOESN'T COUNT AS HARM???

Dude has a fear of becoming like his father.

They have issues but they agree on things like this,

There's eventually a group meeting about Susan breaking into the hotel and while she's welcome she needs to stop popping in at late hours of the night or at the crack of dawn,

There's a Susan security system set up now.

Susan's never going to fully approve because you'll always be that small child she found on the side of the streets long ago to her and no man, woman or whatever is going to be good enough for her little girl, but she'll put up with it, she knows that while Alastor isn't the best person it could be worse.

She eventually respects your boundaries, yay!

Good evening folks! Thank you for tuning in! I hope you liked whatever this was, I'm slowly working though requests! Now it's 3 am and I'm tired, goodnight! Have a cursed cat Alastor in a suit that I drew with my fingers

He looks like a tatortot

[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 3

I'm living for the love for this story!! Thank you everyone!

I'm sorry to say that any requests to be added to the tag list will be ignored. It's all full up! But! You can follow me and put on notifications. That seems to work for most people!

In this we have a lot of growing pains and the girls try everything they can think of to keep Eddie home.

Part 1 Part 2

~

The next couple of days were spent ironing out of the kinks and setting expectations. Like when Steve scolded Janice for pulling on Joan’s braids and she yelled back that she wasn’t the boss of her.

Both girls went running to their dad.

Eddie looked down at his two little sun spots. “I don’t know why you’re coming to me about this, if Steve saw Jannie pulling Joanie’s hair, then he had every right to call it out. Just like Chrissy, just your uncles. He is in charge while I’m gone, so you better get used to his authority. Both of you girls go sit on your time out chairs for five minutes.”

Both girls gasped in shock, but after an intense showdown, they did as they were told.

“Thanks for that,” Steve said with a huff. “There’s always a little bit of give and take for first couple of weeks, and you laying down the law will really help that.”

Eddie smiled up at him. “It’s just been a tough year for them both. They’re old enough to remember Ethan, but young enough that it’s all the good and none of the bad. So they don’t understand why he left. I’ve been talking to a couple of therapists that think once they’re a little older, they want to start seeing both girls.”

“Nothing quite as traumatic as abandonment issues from an early age,” Steve said with a nod.

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

Steve sat down on the sofa with a sigh. “Unfortunately, yes. Only my parents did just enough to make sure I wasn’t taken away from them. Making sure their trips would only last long enough that it would be considered child abandonment and endangerment. Sending me gifts for my birthday and Christmas, but not being there.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“Then as I got into high school, sending me money for groceries and gas. As well as a hefty allowance to make sure that I wouldn’t talk. ‘Let’ me throw lavish parties and then ground me when they found out. Only they would pack up and leave, knowing I’d ignore the grounding because they were gone. Just a bunch of stupid shit like that.”

Eddie’s expression softened. “In the Hall of Fame of shitty parents, that’s really up there, man.”

Steve let out a huff of bitter laughter. “I got the last laugh though. The second I turned eighteen and finished school, I told them I was running away with my best friend and joining the circus. Then I told them I was bisexual and never looked back.”

“So how was the circus?” Eddie asked with a grin.

“Not as fun as you’d expect,” Steve conceded. “Robin and I didn’t have anything like skills to be a performer, and wasn’t experienced in running the booths and rides, so we were part of the put up and take down crew.”

“So how did the nanny thing come about?” Eddie asked, crossing his legs and leaning his elbow on the arm of the chair.

“I used to babysit these kids when I was younger,” Steve said, putting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, “and when the one’s dad died and left a hefty life insurance to his mom. She suddenly was overwhelmed and hired me to nanny for her.”

Eddie thought back to the resumé the agency had sent over. “Mrs. Henderson, right?”

“That’s the one,” Steve leaned back on the sofa. “Dustin was a good kid. Too smart and arrogant for his own good.”

“Then of course, Mrs. Henderson recommended me to her friends,” Steve said. “One of them said they would only hire me through an agency. My ex-girlfriend happened to work at a nanny agency while she was going to school and offered to put in a good word for me.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “That was nice of an ex. I don’t know if I have any exes that would do the same for me.”

Steve just shrugged. “We didn’t exactly part on the best of terms either, but I used to babysit her younger siblings and knew how good I was. Nancy Wheeler is nothing but logical. She knew I would be good at it.”

“I spoke to a Nancy earlier,” Eddie said thoughtfully. “She really went to bat for you.”

“That’s Nance for ya,” Steve huffed. “Tenacious to a fault. This is her last semester at college and then she’s going to go to Emerson to get her journalism degree. She wanted to get her generals out of the way so she wasn’t paying out the ass for them.”

Eddie smiled. “Looks like I really lucked out then.”

“I guess you did,” Steve said softly. “I did too. Having you here these last couple of days have really helped out. They are still going to have the worst meltdowns during that first week you’re gone, but knowing you’ve already set the boundary they’ll only butt against it instead crossing it.”

Eddie smirked. “They’ve chased off nannies before. It’s why I have a very specific list of do’s and don’t’s with anyone I hire.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” Steve chuckled. “Normally, I’d put them to bed, but because it’s your last night with them, I’d suggest you do it.”

“Of course,” Eddie said softly. “Thank you for taking good care of them, Steve. I’m really grateful to be leaving them in such capable hands. I don’t want to go on this tour, not really. But I need a break. I love my girls, but with Ethan leaving it feels like he took away my right to chose how to live my life.”

Steve got up and moved to the desk and sat down on it half way. “But at least you have the money and the wherewithal to make sure they are taken care of. Every parent needs a break once in awhile. You’ll go out there make your fans happy and then when you come back, you’ll appreciate them all the more for leaving.”

Eddie looked up at him, then his eyes fluttered shut. He pursed his lips together and leaned his head back. He opened his eyes to look at him again. “You don’t think I’m being a bad parent?”

“It does you no good to burn yourself out,” Steve soothed. “It would do them more harm if you burned out and couldn’t take care of them anymore.”

“I love them so much,” Eddie said, his lower lip quivering. “But not having any help except Chrissy occasionally made it hard.” Tears trickled down his cheeks.

Steve pulled out a tissue and handed it to him. Eddie let out a watery chuckle. “You didn’t have anyone close that could help you?”

Eddie wiped his eyes and shook his head. “My former bandmates kinda scattered all over the globe. Gareth in Wales where his family is from, Jeff in New York, and Brian in LA. My uncle, Wayne broke his leg just after Ethan left and he’s just barely moving around without a cane. I couldn’t make him watch two rambunctious four year olds.”

He let out a shuddering breath and then another. “A lot of the nannies we had kept trying to be their mother. One was even caught trying to teach Joanie to call her Mama.”

“That’s rough,” Steve murmured. “But I’m here to help you. I’m not going to try and replace you as their dad. Or even Ethan, really. I’m just an extra person you can rely on.”

“You don’t mind setting up the household staff do you?” Eddie asked, his voice still rough from the crying. He blew his nose and then threw the tissue away in a nearby garbage. “It’s just that I want people that will work well with you and not try to fight you on every little thing.”

Steve shook his head. “No I get it. Plus getting help for a place as big as this one, I’d need the help otherwise I’d wear myself out before you got home.”

Eddie chuckled. “Do you like the house? Some of the other nannies thought it was creepy.”

“Mr. Muns–” Steve began but Eddie cut him off.

“Call me Eddie,” he said softly. “Mr. Munson makes me feel old and I’m not ready for that yet.”

“All right, Eddie,” Steve murmured back, “I think it’s spooky in a fun way. It’s not creepy. It’s beautifully decorated. I’ve seen creepy. Like tiger and elephant heads mounted on the walls with fully stuffed birds and in one horrifying case a Tasmanian wolf.”

“Aren’t those extinct?” Eddie asked with a grimace.

“Oh yeah,” Steve said, moving to sit on on the desk all the way, to put some distance between them. Before he did something stupid like kiss his boss. “I made sure to report his taxidermy to the Feds on the way out.”

“Brutal.”

“Dude was creep and his wife wasn’t much better,” Steve said with a shrug. “I felt sorry for their kids. They didn’t deserve having parents like those.”

“What made you leave?” Eddie asked, honestly curious on how Steve could have gone through so many clients considering he didn’t seem very old.

Steve kicked his feet a little, careful not to kick Eddie. “They aged out of needing one. They were already pre-teens when I got hired. They basically only needed someone to pick them up from school and make them dinner before their parents came home.”

“How long were you with them?” Eddie asked, more to keep Steve there then any real curiosity he had. Yeah, he had been curious about what made him leave, but this was blatant flirting at this point.

Steve laughed. “What’s this, more interview?” he teased. “No, in all seriousness, it was about a year. Most of my clients only need me temporarily anyway. I’m pretty sure that for at least three of them, their friends or family got to them about me being a guy, because they hired a female nanny soon after.”

“That’s bullshit,” Eddie huffed. “I’m sorry that they kept doing that to you. If anyone says anything to you, send them my direction. I’ll set them straight.”

“Thanks,” Steve murmured. He checked his watch. “It’s about time for me to make dinner.”

Eddie nodded and watched him leave. Once Steve had closed the door to his office behind him, Eddie put his head in his hands. It was so hard to keep his hands to himself when Steve was that close.

He just hoped that the three months he was going to be gone would be enough to put out the fire in his gut for his new nanny for fuck’s sake. He needed to get laid, Jesus fucking Christ!

The rest of the night passed with relative ease. Steve made meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes with corn on the side.

Night time went well, too. Both girls drifting off to sleep quickly.

Morning, though? That was what was fraught with difficulties and tantrums.

Joan refused to get dressed, flopping on the floor and sobbing uncontrollably. Janice dumped her cereal on the floor, kicking and screaming like a toddler. Joan threw herself at the door while Janice tried to hide Eddie’s shoes.

Eddie stared Janice right in the eye as he pulled out another pair of shoes out of his carry-on. And then another out of his suitcase. He put the shoes back in the suitcase, but pulled on the shoes from his carry-on. All while Janice stood there with her jaw on the floor.

Steve pulled Joan away from the door so Eddie could open it and both girls started crying. Eddie hugged and kissed each girl goodbye.

Steve picked up both girls and held them up to the window so they could wave goodbye as Eddie drove off.

He set them down and they both flopped on the floor like ragdolls. He let them lay there for awhile, even taking advantage of Joan not moving to get her dressed. He put his hands on his hips it was going to be a long week. A very long week.

~

Part 4 Part 5

Tag List: CLOSED

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

10- @kultiras @morallyundefined @ollieolive @themoonagainstmers @tartarusknight

[crescentpaws]

unprompted anti keefe post because i remembered this quote just now and got unnecessarily mad about it again. almost every reason i have to hate keefe can be seen in this quote from legacy btw:

“Isn’t this the epic showdown you’ve been planning where you order Tammy Boy to kill me? Thanks for the warning about that, by the way,” he told Tam. “As you can see, it worked super well.”

“keefe can keep a secret if it’s actually important” no the fuck he can not. this quote just proves how little he actually cares for other people. tam risked SO MUCH to pass along that warning to sophie, and keefe just casually mentions it in front of gisela. i can’t tell if he’s just really stupid or if he genuinely doesn’t care about the very REAL and very LIKELY possibility that gisela would literally kill tam for that. keefe casually decides to possibly condemn someone to death just to have a moment where he can tell his mom “i already knew what you were planning all along btw! lol! haha!” god he’s a fucking idiot.

then he has the nerve to say “as you can see, it worked super well” as if keefe didn’t SPECIFICALLY CHOOSE to ignore the message????? acting as if it’s tam’s fault that they’re in this position???

i get he uses humor as a coping mechanism, but all his comebacks to his mom just seem so stupid considering he is fully aware of what she is able to do. even if he knows she won’t hurt him, she is fully willing to hurt his friends. which he never seems to care about (unless it’s sophie, because for some reason sophie is the only person that matters to him. but clearly not even she really matters or else he would stop betraying her trust over and over and over again.)

reminder that the only reason they’re here is because sophie knew if she didn’t take keefe to london he would go by himself btw. which is just so. UGH. it’s not her job to be his fucking babysitter. how is that a healthy relationship

and then keefe has the nerve to be mad after tam escapes with gisela. like, you know, the literal exact same fucking thing he did with alvar in lodestar. except in keefe’s situation, he wasn’t a prisoner. he wasn’t wearing special bonds made of light that restricted his power. tam actually had a reason to go back with gisela. which keefe never did with alvar. but it’s ok! he’s allowed to be mad because it’s his mom! he’s allowed to be mad at everyone if they focus on the bigger picture instead of what will stop making him feel sad right this second! it’s ok for him to be mad because his mom is evil! but it’s not ok for fitz to be mad about them letting alvar go! because that’s different for some reason! trust me guys!!!!!!!!!!!

and don’t even get me STARTED on the final battle scene in loamnore. keefe is just so. oh my god. he’s so fucking aggravating. literally the whole group’s plan relied on the fact that keefe WASNT going to be there. he literally PROMISED he wouldn’t show up and try to take things over (like he always does). i seriously have no idea how sophie ever trusts him again after that. that would be my final straw. all he’s done is prove that no matter how much he swears he’s telling the truth, he’s just a manipulative liar 👍 it shouldn’t be sophie’s job to be constantly monitoring keefe to make sure he doesn’t do stupid shit like this. she shouldn’t have to be using her energy 24/7 worrying about what stupid thing he’s going to do next. that is not a healthy relationship.

and what do you know, keefe arriving at the scene was exactly what the neverseen wanted! gisela got to do what she was planning from the beginning!! and keefe acts like it wasn’t ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE.

god he’s just so stupid i don’t understand how any of these characters are able to remain friends with him. but whatever. keep glorifying his shitty behavior i guess.

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 1, Poll 2

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave here.

Ignis Scientia-Final Fantasy XV

Qualifications:

Blind, gay/demi-romantic, asexual

Propaganda:

Ignis only lost his eyesight (rather than his life) due to his strong will to protect Noctis. He is stated by the game makers to be in a deep relationship with his colleague and friend, Gladio. So it's halfway confirmed/heavy implied for those two boys. (And might be Ignis is asexual). And this man deserves so much. He is the mom friend and gives everything. And so much is taken from him.

Wylan Van Eck-Six of Crows

Qualifications:

Wylan has dyslexia (heavily implied, but not outright said bc setting) and is gay,

Dyslexic and gay!

They are in a adorable m/m relationship, and also have severe dyslexia to the point that (when eight) he could not read or write despite formal education

Wylan is gay and dyslexic!

Propaganda:

Wylan and Jesper have the absolute cutest relationship. Also, Wylan has dyslexia. I don't think it was outright said, but that was heavily implied. It just couldn't be set out loud for the sake of maintaining the fantasy setting. He's such a good character, and is primarily known for his skill with explosives, not his struggles with reading and writing. The other protagonists also never judge him for it, and the only character who does is the kind of person 90% of readers want to kill by the end of the series.

His boyfriend Jesper helped him fake being able to read so they could beat Wylan's shitty dad.

- He's incredibly sweet - But can also be ok with murder sometimes, like when killing unconscious people wasn't good - so just wake them up. - He was thrown out of the house and his father tried to kill him, because of said dyslexia, but managed to survive. Then rebelled against his father and with the help of friends took down his empire - He is very talented at the flute. And can draw very well, along with being a great chemist and demolition experts (hired for making flash bombs and other cool shit-) - Helps break into a world-class prison, then blushes the entire time because the person he's pared with keeps flirting with him - Asks his (eventual boyfriend) if he's into guys. Then immediately gets flustered when Jesper picks it up - Is very rich heir (due to shenanigans) and there's a one-off line about this sweet bean kind of being a sugar daddy- (just gives his boyfriend money to do stocks with, to stop him from gambling) - Supports his boyfriend throughout his gambling addiction and tries to help him overcome it

Wylan is dyslexic and because of this written off as stupid by his father. However, he is actually a genius, especially with chemicals, and he uses his genius and his new band of misfit friends to take his father down and read him for filth in front of a whole bunch of important people. He is good at making things explode. He also nabs himself a hot boyfriend in the process so good for him!

The qualifications and propaganda paragraphs correspond, @wisheduponastar is the third submitter.

[rosemariad]

Supernatural season 14

Oh boy!

So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not Dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted & making shitty deals.

Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 more season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities 🤦🏾‍♀️, so…moving on.

Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like some sort of Hunters Incorporated©️. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😔😭

Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen x Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣

Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol 😂😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around if the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel, isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t (or literally any other angel vessel for that matter) — plot convenience? That must be it 🤣🤣🤣

Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch? cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience IDGAF!

After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer & flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh Jack, poor guy feels worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like ‘Castiel what’s it like being worthless?’ since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile Nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.

Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow 😒. Even Sam got more screen time in 5x22 swan song…but Dean suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah, bullshit!

Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, ‘Dean doesn’t matter’, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to Jack, now it’s Jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…

Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.

Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!

So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.

Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).

So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired amidst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day.

Cas doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean 😭 idc, if I was Jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.

I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…

Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒

Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬

Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣

Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….

The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.

How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣

Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.

And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.

So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. She called him out on something.

Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie? I’m supposed to believe Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!

John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some weight (from food/drink or muscle training idc) and dyes his hair black but the root are grey and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.

So no one’s gonna talk about:

a) Adam’s existence

b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)

I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them together on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.

Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.

But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!

Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.

Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.

Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????

Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.

Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).

Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Ah subtle there Supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake 🤣 Dean why would you put him in that position?

Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery

Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.

Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.

And Jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just Jack with a bunch of babies 🤣. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.

They finally resolved the Nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off via Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean.

It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.

He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.

So Mary dies…again.

This is also why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch, but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.

Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!

The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭

Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him Cas? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with Jack? Badasses they may be, but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…

Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw - ends up flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were gone, would he even care about killing Mary? everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone he has. We get flashes of Mary & Jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)

They’re still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 Jack’s being driven mad with grief.

Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.

WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy, but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the fucking protagonists 😡🤬

Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 different kinds of fucked up!

Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?

Dean you piece of shit, why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know Jack’s desperate to make peace with you, and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape?! Poor thing Jack was sooo scared!

Sam, the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam, for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!

Dean you’re surprised Jack’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD!

That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!

Oh boy, the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia was kicking in, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense more than everyone else.

I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different entity, right? now, the Winchesters have a pissed off mega-powerful creature on their hands. Great job team 🤣

that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.

Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!

And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but Cas prayed to Him in season 6 too, no?) but then He states the real reason for His arrival — Jack.

Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)

Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her too Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) Dean follows a mommy blog 🤣 of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more & loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).

God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!

And no, writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceive anybody. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.

Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar 🤣

Chuck saying ‘DON’T!’ Having Dean shook 🤣

Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!

They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!

Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!

Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly though)! shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season alone. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.

Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵 when he slammed that truck with his fist 😏

Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that so bad!

The biggest travesty is we never got to see the SquirrelVerse!

When Sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipresent means?!

It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes Him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.

So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack throws Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean ultimately decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes, he won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!

Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach Jack that trick? But Jack closed his eyes at the last second???

Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.

If anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam 🤣

Sam is many things, but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time 🤣

I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.

Not the Burger King catchphrase🤣🤣🤣

Not Jack being…smote?

Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?

Sam, why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself? Nah bruh.

So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).

Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing 🤦🏾‍♀️ [I know how it ends but yeah still])

It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself that).

God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.

So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.

They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.

[wolflover2426]

Ngl, I kept thinking about Shadybug’s declaration during her swinging a sword towards Ladybug at how in her world, she doesn’t have a girl squad that help inspire her, a best friend, a gentle mom and a boyfriend.

It honestly got me thinking what her dynamic is with her own mother. It kinda scares me to think in the alternate world that Sabine is a terrible parent but I wonder if Tom is also present in Emonette’s life. I also wonder if that means Emonette hates being a baker girl compared to Marinette who is very proud of who her parents are as we have seen her throw in Gabriel’s face for his shitty pancakes and her showdown with Monarch and beating him to death with a baker’s peel.

Anyway, so many possibilities to sift through and wonder just how bad Emonette has it. (I also want to hc that this Marinette never had a Socqueline to help deal with Chloe pre-Origins which definitely meant she was bullied relentlessly to the point of changing her style as we know it)

[perenlop]

Aim to be a Pokemon Master! Episode 9: Rocket Revengers

Sigh

Honestly I feel bad for how low I’m ranking this one because I know I’m that jackass who hates Team Rocket when they’re so beloved. And coming at the episode from a fanservice angle, it’s perfectly fine. I liked the callbacks and the james and mime jr dynamic returning. It was really awesome to see the sinnoh gang especially because I associate Jessie more with her Seviper than I did with Arbok.

But man….. god does that ending just spoil the whole thing for me. Not even just the ending, the “””plotline””” it sets up for Team Rocket in the last two episodes… where they disband the team and are gonna go their separate ways (for realsies this time!!) Ignoring how we literally just got an episode like that in Journeys. And then they set it up like it’s gonna be important… and then it isn’t. They have one scene where they’re apart in the next episode and then they’re back together immediately for the finale (because oh my god we gotta get the clickbait article subject- I mean FAN FAVORITE PIDGEOT back in the show!!!) and then they do the exact same thing they’ve always done and hunted Pikachu.

It’s like…. why? Like, Team Rocket fans, were you at all satisfied with that? Having this episode meant to celebrate them end off on such a meanspirited note? Have them barely feature in the next two episodes and having no character development? I feel like a sentiment I saw a lot was that Ash and Team Rocket were gonna have a conclusion to their series long rivalry- they’d have one last showdown and then part ways permanently as Team Rocket disbanded their trio and set off to become better people and become truly happy in life. And they’d look at Ash with undisguised pride. Nope!!! They’re just gonna keep doing what they usually do and we’re gonna hammer that in with the most half assed bullshit you’ve ever seen.

Like… I dunno, even when I did like the TRio, I always thought their appeal had mostly to do with their capability to be fantastic people, but their unfortunate circumstances leave them in a shitty position. And if the show ever ended, they’d be free from that and open up the restaurant of their dreams or become actors (or hook up with Ash’s Mom). But… they didn’t do that. They didn’t imply any sort of conclusion or improvement for these characters. All you get is a weak rehashed plotline thats been eaten and spat out and eaten over and over and over again, and then told to just forget about them. It feels so insulting. And that’s why I’d personally rank it as low as I did. All the stuff before is pretty ok but it also feels… kinda weak as well in a way I can’t really put down in a comprehensive way? Like it’s fine but not great. It definitely wasn’t enough to save it from the ending.

(Also can I say I find it funny how Morpeko is barely in this one. It’s like once JN ended they realized “oh we cannot bring that gacha or rodent back can we” because the fandom despised them so much)

[ricky-croissant]

🥁- 🥁 - 🥁 - 🥁 - 🥁 🥁 🥁 🥁 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 This is -wavy news, I’m bert thee tertle. The small Ape tells us what’s next in the president’s dump.

Ur mum’sabitch, you bastard! President Dump and his purp lawyer Rudy Poopy Poopliani Pumped Joe-Biden’s erection. President pump personally pushed for probes of political opponents, including Joe Bo ᗺ McDemocrat, th-at’s all ho-mies. Washington.

Republicrackers are mounting President Dump while insisting nothing’s wrong.

Republicans say that the Trump presidency is a complete charade, that the last election -is simply invalid, getim outta office, and democrats are just bored, and grasping atPenis to make Shit happen-... That is poor repoorting.

An American siseh-bah uh-uh bahduh consiʂ duh consiƧiƧ conduh-bah uh bar ɿɒd duh combarah sis of of turkey. Hummus has more.

The man is noɯɐu. The man is a-turkey. Greecey and hair-ey. SogroƧ. President Dump tried to Pork him, but the turkey refused entry. I’m Bent-

And this is wavy news. Godzilla fired a barrage of turkeys into the country music association awards on Thursday, killing dozens of awards. Sgt. Music-allotta has more.

LEFREƎЯꟻLE REE ƎЯ Я Я MOM- The C.R.A.P. started with a medley of allstar country shit and setup the evening for girl-power, but males took all the awards [ :( ] Girth Brooks took the female entertainer of the year award for the -umpth time. Luubed Co-cks took won the female vocalist award, and mus-ty grapes took the best award-award, and Ashley McNews took best New-dist. McNews recalled once playing a chip chow for joj-Prine, who complimented her cock. “The next day he shook my g-ay” *Woo!* “And he said Eureka, you’re no good” *Laughter*.

Turkey’s fired a barrage of salami rockets into music groups on Thursday, after shitty music killed dozens of people. Royal-Doyal has salami and turkey. Nom nom nom.

Militant rock groups, Salami-Jihad, killed Nickle-back on Thursday. Calming the worst rock in months. That is Royal-ing.

Turkey’s built barricades and stockpiled makeshift weapons, setting the stage for salami showdowns. Sabrina shat her clothes.

I was woken yesterday at d-icks thirty by the lunch alarm like for 8 minutes str8, and then like at lunchtime we had an emergency lunch with the lunch president and he basically made the lunch way more severe than we realized?

China’s global times announced big honking titties- collapsed... Our nuclear turkey has taken important steps to landing its first countrymusicspacecraft on Mars. Garth brooks reports.

Space success! Space applause met the completion of the Spacelander test on  Space day. Its Space journey to Mars should take about 7 Space minutes. It’s a powerful Space rocket called Space Launch 5 to transport the  Space probe through  Space. It’s off to the Moon first to bring back some Space rocks. It’s the third Space man in Space with it’s own Space Rocket.

That is Roiters Loser, and in Hell, I’m spurting-jizz. Wavy news... 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 - 📯- 📯 - 📯 📯- 📯 - 📯 - 📯 -*toot*

[shittycartoonmomshowdown]

The time has come…

The final match begins.

[mirrorballfm]

 *  【ｆｉｌｅｄ :  RICHIE TOZIER 】 is a CANON CHARACTER and PARTLY REMEMBERS THEIR PAST LIFE. the HUMAN is known to be GREGARIOUS and CRUDE and reminds me of a coin toss, scraped knees, + the last one laughing after the joke’s passed.

* TRIGGER WARNING FOR ... clown content, death mentions, marijuana + recreational drug use. very briefly in this post, but also just in general for this character!  

FACECLAIM: thomas weatherall

AGE: 25

SPECIES: stupid human boy 

PRONOUNS + GENDER: he/him, cismale

ORIENTATION: “i like what i like!” 

MEMORY STATUS: richie remembers childhood and leaving derry - does not fully recall part 2 happenings 

𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 …

you’re richie tozier. you were born and tolerated raised by your two parents in derry, maine. your dad tried his best to instill his stoic workman’s disposition in you, and failed to hide his disappointment when you couldn’t ( wouldn’t ) catch on. 

your mom, bless her, tried her best to keep up with the litany of rampant thoughts you turned into endless chatter - you come to appreciate that as you get older. 

you’re one of seven in a group of misfits. love is the sun down your back and the wind in your tangled hair in the dead heat of summer. 

you’re mr funnyman. you have to be, with those stupid glasses you wear and your too - long limbs making you a flop in every other department. 

beep beep, richie! but it’s affectionate, always kind - this is your chosen family. they love you they love you they love you 

( they love what you let them know, anyway. only what’s allowed in that small town hell. ) 

there’s an evil child-eating clown ( yeah, really! ) and a showdown for the ages that you stupidly forget. when It comes back, so do you. 

and sometimes bullying works! 

but you go back to your shiny life in l.a a broken man, with a clownish cackle in the back of your mind and the plights of your friends like a guilt-laden weight on your shoulders.

𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 … 

you’re richie tozier, and you’ve just woken up from the craziest dream! or that’s what you tell yourself, anyway. this city is a second chance - you’re young again, spry again, and derry’s vicelike grip on you feels a world away. 

( your therapist in l.a would probably say living in ardent denial of your entire life is not a health way to live - but what does that schmuck know ??? )  

you call your mom whenever you remember to. too busy, you see, fucking around on this island and getting stupid high on the couch so as not to let in a Thought. 

love is a shitty wine cooler and some b-movie with your newest ‘friend’ at 2 in the morning. 

there is no clown showdown or group of friends - but you can remember that summer when you were just a kid, and every single one of their faces clear as day. the second part ( the worst part ) hasn’t happened yet. isn’t that cool?

wanted connections: friends, lovers, ex lovers, mentor/pupil relationship, a drinking/dr*g/party friend, chaos twins, etc. i love going off natural chemistry and will never mind assuming connections! 

[jylesthejester]

Here have my shitty attempt at that trend that’s probably old now

[This is Panik & Henry and their dynamic is so filled out in a way that makes me cry.]

More info on their dynamic and my hcs and opinions down below

[!Warning! Mentions of alcoholism, Toxic friendships, abusive friendships, etc ahead, be aware and cautious if any of these things trigger you. ]

So Panik and Henry have a complicated relationship from the start, due to Henry being a reformed villain and Panik kinda stealing his lab and stuff. Panik also blows up Henry’s 2000 dollars that were in his car (he lived in his car due to homelessness.) in the first episode of Panik & Henry but y’know that’s fineeeeeee-

Panik and Henry at first have a chill employee and Uptight boss dynamic, but it evolves into more of a Father and Son dynamic, which then eventually evolves into more of a toxic friendship.

Panik does care about Henry, and Henry does care about Panik, but they often have arguments and falling outs’ that usually end in them either leaving for a bit before reforming their friendship or they forgive eachother.

One of the bigger arguments they had involved Henry comparing him and panik to Rage and Jim Davis (Saying that, he was Jim davis, and Panik was Rage [Rage took Jim davis' whole life from him.]) Which then ended up in panik saying Henry needed to leave the lab (henrys therapist was present and thankfully resolved the situation somewhat, but also Henry was drunk, so he forgot what happened.)

It's one of my biggest headcanons that has some evidence backing it up (I guess that makes it more of a theory? Idk) is that Henry WAS a recovering alcoholic until he met and started working for panik, and then he started drinking again (This is shown in the Christmas episode where he drinks a lot whenever panik makes him upset. Henrys therapist also makes notes about this saying, "Henry started drinking again, I thought we talked about other ways to relieve stress like painting." Which implies that he's had an addiction to alcohol before, and this is his relapse.)

Back to their relationship. Panik and Henry often argue and bicker, I made this a more prominent thing in my family dynamic au, but this often results in more... harmful situations. Panik has often told Henry he'd hurt him if he doesn't do what he says(this is shown in the Backrooms episode prominently, and I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the first time paniks said that.) And usually hasn't cared if Henry gets hurt, but often in life or death situations where it's just them two he depends on Henry to stay alive (Probably because he doesn't like being alone.). Henry loses control of his emotions often, usually crying at the end of some adventures, and getting angry or panik feeling a fake form of sympathy and trying to help Henry, this once resulted in Henry locking panik in a vault for three months I believe it was (panik could've gotten out but how frantic he was to get out didn't help him, since he tried to open the locking numpad side to henrys vault door). Henrys a bit pushy towards panik at times, but paniks often mean to Henry, and I don't mean to say this balances it out but... it kinda does.

Panik also uses Henry often to get what he wants or needs, which Henry does since paniks giving him a home. There's also an ongoing thing after Henry blew up paniks golden vault door that panik wants Henry to get another one, but Henry just makes other doors in place of it, which is a prominent thing in their everyday conversations.

Panik has a clear attachment to Henry, shown in Redstone Ridge prominently, due to him immediately walking up to Henry, unlike anxiety(where they bumped into each other, i think) and trying to get Henry to remember him, I don't think Redstone ridge Henry likes panik all that much honestly. (OFF TOPIC BUT MY MOM MADE SOME BOMB ASS CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES-) but this is also shown in the final showdown war with Jim davis in block city, where when Jim davis tries to hurt Henry, panik Blasts him with his main gun (TFG 10K) and tells him to back off (he also said he had no ammunition just before that). Henry also has an attachment to panik, at first it seemed due to the fact that he gave him a place to sleep, but now it seems like he sees him as his son in a way (He's canonically said to have a daughter, so he's probably got fatherly instincts in him), and usually engages in watching him when panik wants to show Henry something, and he also doesn't mind doing things for panik, or protecting him.

Oh by the way the two people at the end (before the family guy death pose) are Doctor Kalm and Henric, they appear on Frosty's channel!(another character in block city/horrormashfriends) and Kalms first essential goal was to get henric back awake and alive since he passed out and stopped responding entirely. (Also random thing I saw in the first episode of the series Dr kalm and henric appear in(Its called merge city), there was a comment asking "What's this version of henrys name going to be?" And someone answered "Roostery because Henry=Hen [insert a bunch of other rooster and hen stuff]" (Which just fuels my trans dad hc for Henry more.)

I could go on about this for a while but I'll stop for now

[littledead-ridinghood]

Wait can you please post a link to starrboy's fic? I can't find it and I love Jason + lanterns <33

waiting for it, that green light series by starrboy

so this series has been put on indefinite hiatus(and every day I selfishly pray our lovely author once more gathers inspo, but that's neither here nor there and completely their choice), but it starts out with Jason dealing with phantom pains from the Batarang wound a la UtRH and Guy Gardner finding him, taking him in for the night and then, well, Jason just...never leaves and Guy never asks him too. Over time he befriends the other four corpsmen and gets adopted into their posse. I really like how all the lanterns give Jason a chance at face value, of which Jason returns, and then it works out so easily with them all accepting each other. There's no real conflict except subtle underlying their collective issues when it comes to dealing with other bats(Disrespect, disregard, Batarang scar, etc). It's really cute and fluffy, with good mom!Talia, JayKyle, and HalGuy, while also just being an easy feel-good read. This series is like my version of that fandom fav trope: "Bruce hugged Jason during that showdown, so now Jason understands how much Bruce loves him and everything and everyone is happy and fine". This is my sugar & honey-sweet comfort series. It's domestic and it's Lovely. Guy and Jason's friendship have me frothing at the mouth, and them bonding over shared experiences with shitty fathers and other factors of life bring me overwhelming joy

---you've probably read these next fics as you're also a lanterns + Jay lover, but for others: here are some more series recs!---

Star Sapphire Jason series by Do_not_careissa

starrboy actually wrote in their notes/comments that they pulled inspo from this series and what made them fall in love with lanterns+ jay content! Personally, I love me some jay content that doesn't devolve into "he's the angry, stupid, jocky one :/" and this series does it amazingly! This series is about Jason's growing anxiety about his spot in the family, feeling like he'll never be able to live up to the high expectations they hold for him nor being able to recover his lost connections due to his death and messy resurrection. Though worried over where he stands within the Bats, Jason still continues to work for his recognition and makes sure his family stays safe. The series purposefully states that Jason's anger stems from his love and compassion for others and that's what earns him a star sapphire ring AHHH perfection. Jason struggles with his own self-worth, value as a person, and how he's in over his own head while still depicting Jason as capable, smart, and willful. It walks the line of Jason being a sensitive young man who usually leads with his emotions and not always being able to handle them, but also not woobifing him to hell and back fantastically. I love the friendships formed, Jason's road to healing(his self-worth and is finally being told, after years of "you're too emotional, and need to shut them out more", that it's okay & good to feel and express his feelings) by being surrounded by people who appreciate his company, and also focusing on the side-effects of Jason disappearing off the face of the planet as well as other characters relationships to each other(not just to Jason). This series has JayKyle & HalGuy(all stupidly failing at romancing their other and pinning horribly obviously), Star-Sapphire-who's-eager-to-learn&grow!Jason, Bats trying to work through their issues, and the lanterns taking in Jason as one of their own(including Dad!Hal!). Still marked as incomplete and has yet to update since the end of Nov. 2020, if those kinds of things put you off, but there are 14 parts, and, like, I can not stress this enough, It's so good! I just can't get over the friendship between A. the lanterns between each other and B. the lanterns with Jason!

Emergency Line series by crucifixinhell

Brand new series, so far with only 2-parts, and it's about the friendship between Hal and Jason. Very cute. Angsty as well because, well, we all know what happens to robin!Jason :/. Written within Hal's POV and is snippets of Jason talking to him about his day, asking for help, etc. as Hal reflects on similarities between him and Jay while appreciating his companionship all within part one. This leads into part two where Hal reflects on how he was probably Jason's safe space (in the way that an English teacher is for many) as he struggles to deal with the death of Jason, how it affects him and his relationship with others(primarily Bruce). It's really nice to read about robin!Jason having someone to reach out to, especially because, in his run, Jason was so isolated from the hero community due to Bruce's need to keep him close(and not run off with friends like Dick to form a new superhero team which...I mean...mission failed successfully, I guess, B-man). Hal and Jason's friendship is really cute, and, as it's in Hal's POV, we don't realize how much the relationship affected both of them until the realizations start to fall into place *After* Jason's death. The author says they plan to write more for this series once they figure out where they want it to go, but if they don't, they've started to write other Hal & Jason works which are really good as well

It's Just Paint... Right? series by Jane0Doe

In this series, Jason is secretly a blue lantern and hiding his ring from the other Bats as not wanting to deal with the backlash and negative connotations they already have with lanterns. This three-part-and-in-progress series has Kyle-in-denial about how hot he thinks Jason is he feels with Jason now hanging around with him and the other corpsmen. This is what I read for my angsty, yet more than decently self-indulgent, pleasures with incredibly-bad-dad!Bruce. Some would say he's OOC, I would say "read it with feeling because sometimes bruce Sucks Ass and I Don't Care About Nuance because Jason's my baby and I'm using him to work through something right now, and if that includes him running off to space to refind a found family then so be it." the entire series is only about 3,550 words, so it's a quick read, but it gives me my much needed Jason whump with a side of lanterns and Jason friendship

Of course, there are a handful of other lantern+Jay fics, ones that I very much enjoy or can't wait to read(Glowsticks and Bullet Holes, I'm looking at you. You've been in my tabs for weeks(months, actually shhhh), and I can't wait till my brain finally kicks and reads you), but these series definitely help feed me and my happy little lantern lover/Jason lover heart

[satuguro]

tenshi | prologue

IN WHICH: after two years living with her mom in america, y/n can finally come home.

PAIRING(S): tsukishima kei x ukai! volleyball player! reader, maybe kageyama tobio x ukai! volleyball player! reader

INSOIRED BY: all i want — kodaline

WARNING: bad relationship with a parent, hint(s) of divorce, cursing

A/N: oops i redid it but oh well! i hope you enjoy <3

prologue, pt. 1,  pt. 2

your hands gripped the straps of your bag harshly, heart thumping hard in your chest as you tried to keep your cool.

two years ago, you were taken from your peaceful life with your dad in order to live with your mom in america. you didn’t even want to go with her, but you were only 16 at the time. you had no say in your life, much less who you wanted to live with.

“what?” you were dumbfounded, staring at your father with tears threatening to brim your eyes. he, however, was looking away and avoiding your gaze.

“i’m sorry,” he murmured, guilt laced in his tone as he sniffed angrily. he looked nothing like your mother, who looked at you with a stoic yet triumphant expression.

she had won. that was all that mattered.

“i’ll pick her up at 8 am sharp tomorrow,” your mom turned towards your father, whose eyes were still downcast. his hair, which was usually pulled back in his headband, fell in small wisps over his face.

he was defeated.

“keishin.” her voice was sharp. annoyed. condescending. unfortunately, it was her normal voice.

“fine.” he spat, hastily wiping the tears that streamed down his face. you only watched on, feeling the first tear roll down your cheek.

you were both defeated.

deep breaths. in and out.

you had lived in new york during your two years in america. you lived in an apartment with your mom and her boyfriend, much to your dismay. he was one of many, and you never took kindly to the other men before him, but you had a special kind of dislike for him. it was a passionate hatred that made ‘family dinners’ turn into a condescending showdown between you and the couple.

you didn’t think that you’d come back, yet here you were. frankly, you were terrified. you hadn’t left japan with the best goodbye.

you reached into the pocket of your jacket, pulling out a lollipop that you quickly unwrapped and popped in your mouth. you fixed the hairband that held your hair back.

life is just a game. face it head on.

“what do you mean by ‘leaving?’”

his face was as stoic as ever, as was his voice. but what else did you expect from him?

“i have to go to new york.” you reached down and grabbed your bag. you didn’t want to look at him; he was one of the few who knew that you had to go. the guilt was eating you up alive, but he didn’t need to know that. “to live with my mom.”

from behind his glasses, the amber eyes of tsukishima blinked in disbelief. you couldn’t leave. you still had to accompany them to spring nationals and help your dad out with their practices. how could you tell him so late? he was one of your best friends. how could you do this to him?

“i leave tomorrow,” you added with a shaky sigh. “8 am. tell the others, okay?” you turned to look at him, expecting to see the cold expression that used to bring you comfort. instead, you found nothing.

kei had left.

“y/n?”

you turned your head towards the call of your name, a smile breaking out on your face when you saw your dad and your great grandpa both standing a few ways behind you.

the ukai reputation followed you all no matter where you went, and the mere sight of both coach ukais at the same place was a rare sight to behold. as usual, your dad stood a few feet away from his grandpa in fear of yet another one of the old man’s kicks.he never did get used to them.

“dad! grandpa!” you ran towards them at full speed, grabbing them both into a hug that nearly crushed their backs. you had gotten quicker over the years.

“y/n!” they both yelled in unison, and you let out a relieved laugh as they hugged you back.

a part of you wanted to cry out of happiness. another part of you wanted to yell and cheer as loudly as you could. but you did none of those, choosing to relish in the arms of the people you had missed so dearly.

“you guys didn’t have to come along,” you sniffed, trying to play your sadness off as you stared at the large group of boys in front of you. your arms were still around yachi, who was sobbing into your arms and babbling about how you shouldn’t go.

“c’mon y/n, we aren’t that mean,” tanaka snickered, eyes glassy as he ruffled your hair. next to him, nishinoya nodded his head energetically.

“we couldn’t just let you go without saying bye,” suga added with a kind smile, and you managed one too.

you hugged them all individually, listening to their words of advice and reassurance in your ear.

you hugged yamaguchi tightly, feeling his arms hug you equally as tight as you let your tears wet his shirt. ever so softly, you whispered, “he didn’t come.”

you had looked for his familiar blonde hair the moment you saw the others walk in. you found nothing; he hadn’t shown up. the night before, you had taken the time to call him over and over. you wanted to say sorry. you wanted to say goodbye, and he didn’t respond each time.

yamaguchi froze for a second before relaxing, a deep sigh leaving his lips. “i told him to come. tsukki has a reason, i know it.” he pulled away, his freckled smile hiding some kind of guilt behind it as he looked at you one more time. it wasn’t his place to say. “you’ll call, right?”

you nodded. “of course i will, tadashi.”

“i had to sneak out every night to play! can you imagine— she hated volleyball that much!” your hands waved wildly, nearly smacking your dad in the face as you ranted on about your experience with your mom.

was it obvious that you took after your dad more?

“unbelievable!” your grandpa ikkei yelled out, his voice so loud that it made his grandson nearly swerve off of the rod. “i’m telling you keishin, it’s a good thing things ended the way it did because your daughter’s talent cannot be stopped!”

“i hear you, shitty old man,” your dad grumbled under his breath, but of course, grandpa ikkei heard it. immediately, he grabbed his grandson’s ear.

“what did you just call me? if we weren’t in a car dealing with your stupid driving then i would kick your ass—!”

you watched it all play out from the back seat, a beaming smile on your face as you listened to their arguing. it felt good to be home.

┈┈ 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ┈┈

A/N: i redid this idea with different pairings and a slightly different plotline. thanks for reading!

pt. 1 is here,  pt. 2

[thenafics]

I wish you would write a fic where Jason has meet each of the Endless.

love the concept!

<3 part of this ask game

this got kinda long~ I love the Sandman series and so I went a little ham~

Also. Hear me out, it’s canon that Destruction of the endless looks a lot like Roy Harper. So for our purposes here, Roy Harper is the identity Destruction took on when he went to wander the world bc he didn’t want to be Destruction any more. 

 -

Destiny is the second of the Endless to touch the life of Jason Todd. This is true of most mortals, who always feel the briefest touch of his older sister at birth. Destiny is especially intrigued by this mortal though. This child whose name is written so often in his Book of Souls. He touches the child briefly, just enough to ensure his heart will continue to beat until the time comes for his fate. Then it is back to the garden, back to the Book, back to the duty of oiling the ever turning gears of the universe.

Death meets him again after that crucial moment of birth. Not once, but many times. Little moments where a sickly baby’s heart stutters and she appears. Destiny’s own touch on the child ensures that these moments of contact are brief. Still, it is enough to ensure that when the time comes for Death to cradle this child against her, she will be fond. And when the time comes for her to let him go, she will mourn the tragedy of a first life cut too short and a second life spun out too wildly.

So does Jason as it happens. Despair is ever present in his young life. She sits on his chest as he listens to his parents argue in the living room. She is a constant companion at his mother’s bedside. She will not leave him alone as she rends at the flesh of Jason’s soul with her hooked ring. He’s somewhat of a favorite amusement of hers until the Batman takes him away.

As the life bleeds from his body in a warehouse, Death and Despair are both by his side. One squeezing at his heart and the other cradling him close to her chest. In the end, Despair extinguishes his last heartbeat with her own two hands before turning him over to Death. Jason thinks he might love Death almost as much as he had loved Catherine Todd. Almost as much as he could have loved Sheila Haywood. She reminds him of the moms and big sisters on TV and in books. 

Death’s patience with him is seemingly endless. She holds his hand as they wander. She wipes his tears when he cries. Explains when he does not understand how he wanders with her. He is waiting, she says, until it is time for him to go back. When that time comes, her little brother will come to take him away. Jason does not know how long he walks with her, standing behind and to the left as she guides souls away. He goes with Destiny when he comes and bids her a temporary goodbye.

Jason wakes in the arms of Delirium almost a year after Destiny took him from Death’s side. The youngest of the Endless is quite taken with him it seems. She whispers in his ear with no ill intent. In Jason’s other ear, Desire spins those words into poison. Delirium whispers that Jason will take her to Destruction- Desire obfuscates the meaning. Jason will take well to destruction- he’ll be the one causing it after all. Between the two of them, intentional and not, they wind him up to new heights of madness. 

In the wake of his big showdown with the Joker, Desire departs with a laugh, satisfied with the conclusion of their game. Delirium still clings, warping Jason with her mere existence. Insistent that he will take her to her big brother. He speaks to her face to face now that he has become somewhat immunized to her maddening presence from long exposure.

If she does not disappear to cause havoc in the night, Delirium’s presence is sometimes enough to call the older brother she does not seek. Jason kind of likes the guy. There’s a ruthless sort of practicality to him in spite of his tendency to riddle. His coolness reminds Jason of Bruce in a way. That and the constant self absorbed pity party. It’s almost comforting to think that even the undying personification of Dreams can be prone to wallowing in his own misery. It certainly makes Jason feel better for doing it himself.

Jason never expects to meet Destruction. He doesn’t even know that he has for a while actually. Delirium has gone off to do god knows what and Jason has gone off to rescue his almost-big-brother’s former best friend from a prison compound in Qurac. Roy Harper smiles up at Jason like no one ever has when Jason breaks down the walls of his shitty little prison cell. 

It’s shocking how quickly Jason falls a little bit in love with Roy Harper. It’s mesmerizing to watch him take things apart and rebuild them as something else. The man is a force to be reckoned with, breaking down and rebuilding Jason’s walls with himself inside. And it’s easy to let Roy help Jason rebuild himself.

Delirium comes crashing back into Jason’s life and nearly destroys it when she runs to Roy.

“Destruction! He found you! Jason brought you back to me!”