#shitistanstank

[sineala]

TONYCAP?????? I can't think what's more interesting, Steve actually giving his shield to Tony or Tony originally being Cap

It is the first but if you want the second, may I recommend @phenominablesnowman-blog‘s This and Other Storms We've Weathered?

Anyway, I used to play this mobile phone multiple-choice trivia game called QuizUp -- I don’t know if it still exists anymore -- but while I was busy pwning random strangers at comics trivia I noticed that a lot of them answered the question “who did Captain America give his shield to when he died?” with “Tony Stark” and first I laughed a lot and then I thought, “Hey, I could write that.”

(I have not yet written it because I have not yet brought myself to reread Secret Invasion. But I could.)

One thing to remember about 616 is that Steve doesn’t actually give Bucky the shield himself. It’s not his intention. It’s Tony’s. Steve writes Tony a letter and asks him to take care of Bucky, and Tony interprets that as “I should give Bucky the shield,” and Steve is actually pretty surprised about that when he comes back to life. So... what if he gave Tony some clearer instructions?

Okay, so imagine that Steve has just died and Tony has received that letter for his eyes only. And imagine that, in this universe, what Steve chose to do the night before he died was write an extremely heartfelt letter leaving the shield to Tony. He still thinks Tony is wrong about Registration, but if he gets a choice, he wants the shield to go to Tony. Because Tony represents America too -- Tony represents creativity and ingenuity and the value of hard work and all sorts of excellent, forward-looking things. Essentially, Tony is the American dream. Plus, what with having Extremis -- which was basically a super-soldier program -- Tony has the reflexes for the shield, and there’s not a lot of people who meet that criterion.

Tony reads the letter, cries a lot, swears a lot at Steve for making him do this, and does it anyway -- because he doesn’t want this, but who would he be if he refused Captain America’s dying wish? So he does his armor up in Iron Patriot colors -- nice of canon to be so convenient for us with the armor, huh? -- and gets the shield, and then spends a lot of time having to defend himself to people and explain that Steve asked him to do this because this is not an extremely popular choice.

Anyway, basically, he’s miserable and grieving and he never told Steve he loved him -- you know, the usual -- and now he is also Captain America and has to attempt to live up to it, so he might perhaps be a little less into self-sacrificial suicide missions these days. A slight positive.

He doesn’t lose his memory because Norman Osborn doesn’t take his job because he does a marginally better job stopping the Skrull invasion, by which I mean that he beheads Veranke with the shield. Because why not. It would be badass.

So, yeah, he still remembers everything by the time Steve comes back to life, and he immediately shoves the shield into Steve’s hands -- “you take this back right now, fuck you for doing this to me, never die again” -- and then kisses the hell out of Steve because he is not wasting any more time. The end.

[mishastoesies]

Your multiverse Tony living together posts has singlehandedly provided me with enough serotonin to last the month

dsjlkafjdlk this is such a massive compliment thank you!!! i spent so much time making that and i was like “nobody is gonna enjoy this niche shitpost” im glad i could provide you with serotonin 

[artinggrace]

Your Tony is literally so pretty, everytime I see him i die

*stares at my latest post* u sure abt that lol

(thank you u//w//u <3 )

[artingkrusca]

Saw your SteveTony art and went batshit feral, it's so so so pretty. Thank you for doing all this, I love your art so much

aww tysm!! ;w; <333

[ghosthan]

tagged by @starvels thank you!

found family or soulmates || slow burn or established but complicated || enemies-to-friends-to-lovers or best friends-to-lovers (i made up my own, it's just lovers-to-enemies) || love at first sight or get back together || morally grey character or unreliable narrator || sunshine character or sarcastic character || self-sacrificing or teamwork || fire-forged friends or childhood friends || description-heavy or dialogue-heavy || fluff or angst || high school au or college au [OR boring post-academia adult au] || flower symbolism or color symbolism || hero from the start or reveal the hero near the end || body swap or gender swap fun trans gender exploration || bed sharing or clothes sharing || magic au or human au || de-aged or future fic

tagging any pal o random person who sees this and thinks it looks fun, and all the usernames i can think of off the top of my head but if ur not on here its probably just bc i couldnt spell ur name @bananapiesn @kiyaar @veryvincible @oluka @deervsheadlights @somekindofsheepl @welcomingdisaster @shitistanstank @phyrrhicvictory

[the-slythering-raven]

THIS IS A TUMBLR HUG! PASS IT ON TO 10 OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOLLOWERS! HAVE A LOVELY DAY! 💝💖

Aaah thank you so much..🥺🥺🥺🥺 (Hugs you back tightly ❤️❤️❤️❤️)

I don’t feel like going to each and every blog and asking, so I’m just tagging here in order in which my brain remembered :p

@some-major-ishues @mango-pickle @burningsoulbloodyheart @aadya23 @jelly-pies @vintervittrannerd @an-odd-idea @anxious---soul @anxious-ace-dork @cipher-dorito @amandaanubis @fanvergentinanexistentialcrisis @xxx-cat-xxx @singingninja4 @strudel-and-creme @shellsan @sherlockisactuallyagaysname @bazsnow @shitistanstank @little-crow-corvere @princerhy @cause-fangirls-are-awesome @paranoid--introvert @apocalyptic-saboteur @rhodee @psycho-mocha @lucian-evander

[tonystarktogo]

(this could’ve been) a villain’s origin story 

part IV

For @shitistanstank who wanted to see Bucky’s reaction and @everything-is-applepie who asked for more [Warning: Bucky is an unrepenant killer and his mindset is dark(er) than Tony’s parts were]:

James hates mentals. Doesn’t matter if they can read your thoughts, break out illusions that have you question everything you believe, make you forget everything you are, everything you used to be or if their powers are even more insidious -- every single one of them is a manipulative fucker with a god-complex. 

Usually, James doesn’t generalise like that -- it leads to assumptions and assumptions lead to stupid mistakes that get you dead -- but in this case he’ll make an exception. It’s widely known that, as fussy as the Winter Soldier can be about his jobs, he always takes contracts involving mentals. Doesn’t matter how old they are, what gender, how powerful, what specific abilities.

Mentals are weapons in a way that physicals aren’t, can’t ever hope to be -- and it doesn’t matter what their intentions are, what fucking alignment they hold -- like alignment isn’t just a skewed personality test gone wrong -- or what laws they follow.

[Every supe uses their power. You can’t not. You can’t be less than you are, even if some like to pretend otherwise. Like to play at being human, idealising what they’ve lost and will never achieve again.

Even when you don’t want to, even when you train yourself mercilessly, grit your teeth against it-- a supe’s first instinct is to use their abilities to the fullest. To survive. To live. To make life more comfortable.

There’s better men than James out there who like to offer long lists of requirements, of all the people they refuse to kill. As though not killing children, women, supes, humans, whatever the fuck their line in the sand is, somehow absolves them from the fact that they kill others for money, power or pride. As though having rules -- morals, as they like to sneer pretentiously -- makes them better, when all they do is choose and find one life more worthy than another.

James doesn’t have a list. He takes a contract or he doesn’t, depending on whether he trusts the contractor to pay up and not stab him in the back while he’s at it.

Have you ever seen a five-year old in a temper-tantrum that can bend the minds of those around them to their will? Have you ever considered what a toddler with the ability to erase memories is, what they become? Do you really think it was morals that kept anyone under fourteen from being chosen?

Rules, after all, are rarely implemented before they’ve proven to be necessary.]

The problem with having a reputation for killing mentals is that mentals don’t take kindly to being killed. And it’s hard to be prepared for a threat you don’t know exists until it reveals itself and tries to twist your mind into hushquietobeybenothing.

Granted, that doesn’t stop most of the stupid ones who track him down from monologuing about their righteous revenge before they get on with it. So convinced that just because James didn’t see them coming means he won’t kill them anyway.

Arrogant fuckers, all of them.

He’ll make them regret that before he’s done.

At least the last set of attackers wasn’t stupid. Makes it more of a pain, but ultimately a more satisfying fight. And fuck, if he hadn’t been blind-sided by the witch, James would’ve gotten away clean. But Scarlet Witch [And what kind of bullshit name is that when everyone knows her powers are anything but magical?] has been a persistent pain in his ass for a while now.

She’s smart and powerful and embodies everything James despises in a mental. The only reason they haven’t gone to war so far is because Scarlet Witch couldn’t care less about mentals as a whole. The only thing she values is her brother -- and the guy is a physical. A physical James wouldn’t try to land a hit on unless he was 100 percent sure he could take out the witch as well.

And Quicksilvers is a hard man to hit.

They don’t have an understanding of any sort because James doesn’t do understandings with mentals. But The Captain does, which puts Scarlet Witch and James into an awkward position as far as battles go. That’s the only reason James assumes their last showdown was an accident -- and, also, presumably the only reason he wakes up at all.

James doesn’t wake up slowly. Hasn’t since they shoved the pills down his throat for the first time, back before they realized that injections were that much more effective.

[The doctors never did figure out why James activated at all from such a low dosis, why he survived at all when the pills turned out to be useless with the sole exception of him. Granted, James killed them roughly forty hours after the first test, which might have played a hand in that.]

He comes to from one moment to the next -- finally, finally free of the black nothingness the witch trapped him in [nothing like what she can do, or so the rumors go, but that doesn’t make him itch to see her brain splattered over a sidewalk any less] -- and is immediately aware of his body, his surroundings, himself.

He’s in an unfamiliar place. He’s half-naked. He’s in a negligible amount of pain. He’s unrestrained. He’s not alone.

James is up and moving before the observation fully sinks in. It doesn’t have to. He already has all the data. [Has pinpointed the steady breathing and puttering motions of one person, placed him to his left, four steps, notices his odd surroundings even as he moves. There’s a wrench in easy reach that James aimes before he even sees the person -- man, young, brown hair, a head smaller than him -- and throws before he’s finished taking stock of his surroundings.

It’s more reflex than cold-blooded murder, really, not there’s much of a difference between the two where it concerns James.

The man ducks, proving that he’s not quite as idiotic as James initially assumed for keeping him unrestrained in his direct vicinity. That or he has good instincts.

He’s not a mental though, James can tell. He can always tell. His killing intent goes down a solid 60 percent with that realisation, though that still leaves him with plenty to work with should his potential client [James has lived through weirder recruitment strategies, though not all those potential bosses have] and potential victim prove troublesome.

It’s not that James wants to kill every human he meets. It’s just that he prefers to plan for the eventuality of needing to kill them and how to accomplish it efficiently, rather than be caught off-guard when the inevitable happens.

[There’s something that never made it into any of the papers and articles about supes and it’s this: A supe’s life is insane. There’s no logic, no rationality, no clear reason why you can’t go to a public swimming pool without accidentally ending up in a lagoon filled with starving piranhas. The Captain once theorized that supes offend the natural order or balance and this is nature’s way of striking back, of wiping them out. That or their unnaturalness attracts similar insanity.

James thinks that’s bullshit, not that it matters. He still has to live with the painfully ridiculous situations he tends to get himself into, after all.]

As such it really is nothing personal that as soon as James finally gets a clear view on the man -- kid, really, can’t be a day over twenty -- who’s found him, he immediately plans the guy’s death. It’s not like he acts on it right then, James isn’t a total barbarian.

He even gives the kid time to regain his footing and stare at him in shocked surprise, mouth half-way open and holding a bag of marshmallows as though those will somehow soften the next blow.

James is not gonna lie, he totally expects the boy to pull a sonar death ray, explosives or something similar out of some hidden stash and start some tirade about James having killed his parents and how he’s been planning this moment for a long time, or something along those lines.

Not to offer him marshmallows.

James gives the innocuous bag the deeply suspicious look that offer deserves. 

[On an unrelated note, his respect for the boy rises a smidge. James doesn’t know many people with the foresight to keep something ans inconspicious as poisonous marshmallows within easy reach.]

“No.”

“Oh.” The boy looks disappointed.

A scientist eager to see his newest creation in action? James doesn’t frown, but it’s a near thing. He’s not fond of scientists. [They tend to end up dead in his vicinity, but most people do.]

“Can I offer you something to drink?”

James raises his eyebrows, but fairly obvious attempt to drug and or kill him aside, he’s never before wasted a chance to be a little shit and he’s not planning on starting to now. 

“You can.”

The kid blinks. Snorts. “Oh, I like you.”

James smirks. He can’t recall the last time anyone told him they felt that way, but he doesn’t recall very many things beyond how to hunt and make them bleed.

“You’re the exception of the rule then.”

The boy laughs and if James wasn’t what he was, he wouldn’t have heard the bitterness echoing it. If James looks closely, he can even see the fractures in that pretty, wide smile.

“Believe me, Goggle Eye, I’m the exception of every rule.”

[It’s a good hour later, after the kid -- call me Tony -- has recounted where he found James and needled him endlessly -- “Come on, there’s got to be something you need! If not food or clothes, what about information? The adresses of your attackers? Schemantics of the newest SI rifle? Clean papers? Give me something!” -- that it occurs to James. A stray thought that nonetheless leaves an impression: It’s a good thing he’s human.

Because there’s something broken underneath Tony’s easy words and open gestures, something sharp and jagged -- still bleeding -- that was crushed and never healed quite right. Because when it comes down to it, you can forget the pills and the injections and the endless treatments and experiments designed to push for moremoremore. Because all the miracles of modern technology can’t build a monster out of spite and thin air. The drugs only reveal the potential that’s always been there.

And there’s no doubt what Tony would have been, should he have found himself among the test subjects.

His mind is a weapon worth killing for already.]

James leaves Tony’s lair two hours later, armed Quicksilver’s current adress -- one can never have enough leverage --, detailed information on four potential targets and the knowledge that Tony is the kind of competent that is as useful as it is dangerous and has an agenda James doesn’t yet understand. 

He’s not yet sure what to do about the latter.

[pynches]

shitty neighbour part 4 (2/2)

part 4 1/2 here

@itisbritneybitches @wrapmeupinplastc @witchadamparrish @ipborgdan @theogvodkaaunt @asmnush @match-styx @ravenclawboys @hklnvgl @musicaltheatrekid @jasonfunderburker @moonysmischieff @fluffyfatblackcat @charliespring @annaistiredofyourshit @thedietcokewhore @razanistrying @pointlessfangirl2211 @dreamerwithafeather @raveneil @czernyslegacy @theflybi @bittersbetter @passiveaggressivefemme @killerqueenmik @eboyeiji @coexisting-fandoms @pvrrish @shakesphereanqueerian @kevinparrishes @lucy-hq @lovlyem @chvrliespring @that-irish-gay @hopelessly-written @zoyaqueenofravka @allyreynclds @andrewspipedream

@sporadichearttcollector @24hourauthor @queen-of-ink-and-paper @an-ahez  @minnyarrd @scully1990 @shitistanstank @ellie-in-wonderland @breakffastclub @procrastinator-alligator @bizulas

[the-slythering-raven]

@jelly-pies @singingninja4 @darthnerdgirl @shitistanstank 👀

Do yall also have these mutuals that you just??? Grew really fond of?? Like, you never properly talk to them and all you do is like each other’s posts but whenever you see them on your dash you’re like “hello sunshine, I hope you’re drinking lots of water and being happy your health and wellbeing is so important to me” and I hope that’s not weird because honestly that’s me all the time

[sineala]

Hey! Since you're one of the sources of comic knowledge, I have to ask. Has Marvel ever permanently killed a superhero? Also what are the chances that Marvel would be willing to kill Tony or Steve? Bc your fics among others made me curious about reading the comics but I don't wanna get into that if Marvel is just gonna end up killing my fav character (I've heard a lot abt the current Tony being not real??). I have had enough of that from mcu

Hi there! I am glad you are curious about comics (and sorry to hear about your MCU-related sadness), and I'm sitting here trying to think of a good way to answer your question, because I think you're presuming something about comics that isn't really true. It's not really like other fandoms.

Basically, the deal in comics is that you should never, ever expect anyone to die permanently. But the corollary to this is that comics have been around for so long that it may take a while for someone to get brought back, but eventually it's probably going to occur to someone at Marvel that their story would be a lot more fun if only So-and-So Man were in it, and then they contrive a way to get him back. Take Bucky as an example. The saying used to be that "nobody in comics stays dead except Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben," and, well, two-thirds of those people came back. No one thought Bucky was ever coming back, until Ed Brubaker started writing Captain America, and he'd apparently wanted to bring Bucky back since he was a kid, and well... that's what he did. (And then he killed Steve, but I'm pretty sure no one thought Steve was going to stay dead.)

Even heroes whose death has been given a lot of weight still get to come back. Take Mar-Vell. He got an entire Death of Captain Marvel graphic novel, very tragic, very moving -- and yet, they've still brought him back at least twice. He's currently dead now, but I'm sure if they wanted him alive, they could bring him back again.

So when you ask if they've ever permanently killed a superhero -- I mean, sure, there are characters who have died who haven't come back yet, but given how the comics universe works, there's nothing saying Marvel can't eventually come up with a way. I think non-powered characters are more likely to stay dead; for example, Happy Hogan's been dead since Civil War, and there are no signs he's coming back any time soon, but Marvel can always surprise me.

Both Steve and Tony have died more than once each, but they are popular enough -- they've both had an ongoing presence and their own solo (and/or shared with each other) comic since the 60s, enough that I think it's really, really extremely unlikely that Marvel will kill either of them off permanently. They've been in comics for decades and I don't see why they'd stop now. I am pretty sure there's going to keep being Captain America and Iron Man comics, because they keep selling. (You can contrast this with a character like, say, Doctor Strange, who has gone long periods of time without a solo book or even any book.)

However, the other thing you should know about comics is that sometimes... there will just be a lot of comics you don't like. And that's okay! It is the case now that most of Steve/Tony fandom, as far as I can tell, is generally not enjoying much about Avengers, Captain America, or Iron Man. But there are always old comics to read and write about (don't worry, no one expects anyone else to have read them all), and I suspect Marvel is going to end up totally ignoring or writing around "Tony Stark isn't real" after Slott leaves the book (because, seriously, it makes no sense) and the promo art for the Empyre event shows what is probably him on the team as Iron Man anyway.

Being into comics is about learning to pick and choose the parts of canon that you like and ignoring the rest, because honestly there's a lot of it and it all contradicts each other. You can generally expect to see continuity within one writer's run on one comic; if you are very lucky, the people writing the comics at the same time will talk to each other and make sure everything lines up, but unless an event is happening, mostly they do not. This is why (1) Steve and Tony are both current active Avengers, (2) Steve is currently on the run and hiding from the law because he broke out of prison, and (3) Tony is currently on the run and leading the robot revolution. Somehow all of these things are true. Comics are a mess. Don't let it bother you. But if any storylines sound fun, feel free to hop on board and try reading some. There are actually plenty of fun comics out there!

[tonystarktogo]

Thanks @wecollectnightmares for tagging me!

Rules: we’re snooping on your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then choose 10 victims.

HERE WE GO:

Try - Simple Plan

High Hopes - Panic! At the Disco

Higher Place - Mighty Oaks

Act My Age - One Direction

Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA

Come Home (feat. Sara Bareilles) - OneRepublic

This Is What You Came For (feat. Rihanna) - Calvin Harris

Seize the Block - Migos

So Yesterday - Hilary Duff

Come & Get It - Selena Gomez

Feel no obligation to join in, but if you want I’m gonna tag: @hazelestelle, @tetrisandwanderingowls, @ladyaulis, @lazysups, @kimmycup, @thoughtfulbreadpolice, @annaisu, @call-of-memories, @shitistanstank and @wolfsrainrules

[pynches]

shitty neighbour part 4 (1/2 because tumblr is being a dick)

part three 

@itisbritneybitches​ @wrapmeupinplastc​ @witchadamparrish​ @ipborgdan​ @theogvodkaaunt​ @asmnush​ @match-styx​ @ravenclawboys​ @hklnvgl​ @musicaltheatrekid​ @jasonfunderburker​ @moonysmischieff​ @fluffyfatblackcat​ @charliespring​ @annaistiredofyourshit​ @thedietcokewhore​ @razanistrying​ @pointlessfangirl2211​ @dreamerwithafeather​ @raveneil​ @czernyslegacy​ @theflybi​ @bittersbetter​ @passiveaggressivefemme​ @killerqueenmik​ @eboyeiji​ @coexisting-fandoms​ @pvrrish @shakesphereanqueerian @kevinparrishes @lucy-hq @lovlyem @chvrliespring @that-irish-gay @hopelessly-written @zoyaqueenofravka @allyreynclds @andrewspipedream

@sporadichearttcollector @24hourauthor @queen-of-ink-and-paper @an-ahez  @minnyarrd @scully1990 @shitistanstank @ellie-in-wonderland @breakffastclub @procrastinator-alligator @bizulas

[the-slythering-raven]

Send this to ten other bloggers you think are wonderful! Keep it going to make someone smile! ❤

In addition, tagging @aadya23 @amandaanubis @apocalyptic-saboteur @apollosukulele @an-odd-idea @anxious-ace-dork @anxious---soul @awesomesockes @bazsnow @bilkul-sharam-nahi-aati @blxckh0les42 @brokeartskid @brokenpisces15 @burningsoulbloodyheart @callonpeevesie @cause-fangirls-are-awesome @cipher-dorito @darthnerdgirl @didyouputyournameinthegob @doctorxtardisotp @dragonsblowingoutbirthdaycandles @fanvergentinanexistentialcrisis @happiness-for-tony-stark @holding-infinity-and-a-book @hitchhiker-of-the-galaxy @imposter-human @infj-slytherclaw @influentshadow @jelly-pies @keltainen13 @little-crow-corvere @lucian-evander @lynchsmatthew @marvelous-writer @paranoid--introvert @psycho-mocha @realityisnoplacetolive @rhodee @secrets-ill-take-to-my-grave -take-to-my-grave -take-to-my-grave @shellsan @sherlockisactuallyagaysname @shitistanstank @taylortut @themirrorghostcat @tothestarsndback @vintervittrannerd @warning-coffeeisexplosive @we-need-more-empathy @whyareyougeh @xxx-cat-xxx and everyone else who decided to stick with my blog whom I haven’t mentioned yet :)

[not-so-mashed-potato]

Yh yh that's what my name suggests @shitistanstank

tbh…. I hate communicating….. we can only be friends if u can read my mind…..